#. wait. 2011 was 13 years ago????????????

[sheila--e]

Im a genius ive just gotten a (remembers this is only genius in my own echochamber ive created in my brain and for everyone else this seems completely nonsensical) a gun to my head.

[deus-ex-mona]

w a i t suki kirai is how old now????

[moonstarsunearth]

Rewatching the movie yesterday and Tashi's injury happened on March 2 2007,what makes me think about the movie's time line. Us junior open finals took place in real life on 10 Sep 2006. So we can say Tashi and Patrick were together between 5 and 6 months.

Art and Tashi met again 3 years later in Cincinnati,I think it was 2010,that took place from August 7 to 22 of 2010. They were engaged in Atlanta 2011,that took place on 18-24 july of 2011,they were engaged not even a year later.

Interesting Atlanta was also the tournament Art lost in the beginning of the movie against teenager Du Marier,the tournament was on 20-28 July of 2019, Art lost in the first round. Tashi decided to skipp Cincinnati where they reconnected because Art wasn't at a good level to play there,so she decided to go to a Challenger in New Rochelle.

This would be movie's timeline because I think in the screenplay timeline makes less sense. Tashi,Art and Patrick met in 2006 too but Rochelle happened 15 years after not 13 ,that would mean 2021,pandemic,maybe that is why it was changed. But there Art and Tashi were engaged 10 years ago,that would be 2011 too ,but Art and Tashi met again in Cincinnati when he was 20,so it was what 2008??,so they were longer together before being engaged,but that also would mean just 2 years since they met until they reconnected,did they even graduate from Stanford? Interesting Art said in the screenplay he waited 5 years to be with Tashi,it doesn't make sense or he was exagerating because that would mean 2011 when they were already engaged.

[onyourstageleft]

a love letter to my favorite YA lit:

I'm relistening to the Beka Cooper audio books again (a yearly tradition at this point) and every time I hear the opening line of Mastiff, "We buried Holborn today," it takes me back to opening the e-book on my Nook the day it was released in my freshman year of high school and reading that line while sitting on the bleachers waiting for PE to start. I remember flipping back to the previous page to make sure this was the first chapter, thinking I'd never even heard of Holborn. I opened the Bloodhound e-book to compare the dates of her entries and realized the time skip was nearly two years, and got so excited to see what happened to Beka while we weren't with her. We walked the track that overcast day of PE in 2011 and I barely looked up from my Nook, so engrossed was I in Beka's story

that was the first Tamora Pierce book release I waited on; I found her books in probably 2009 and had read most of them by the summer of 2011. I pre-ordered Mastiff so it would be on my Nook as soon as it came out, but I was a freshman in high school and wasn't supposed to stay up till midnight, so I had to wait until the day to read it. it was nearly 13 years (and half my life ago) but here I am, still re-reading and re-listening to the Tamora Pierce books that got me through being a teenager. I remember sitting in my high school's library rereading their copy of Wild Magic over my lunch break to pass the time; drunk crying on the floor of my friend's dorm at a character's death in Terrier my freshman year of college (even though I'd read it 3 or 4 times at that point I always forgot); waiting in the lobby of the technology building of my college campus for my class to start with Spy's Guide on my lap after its release; sitting in my advisor's office in grad school flipping through Mastiff and Page and Lioness Rampant for quotes to include in my thesis; rereading Briar's book at the height of the pandemic. I have a tattoo of Lighting on my arm and a (very rough and needs to be redone) tattoo of Pounce/Faithful on my calf and I genuinely don't think a day has gone by in over a decade where I haven't thought about Tamora Pierce books

the world of Tortall (and Emelan, to a lesser extent) has shaped me, and although this is an attempt to pin it down, I will never be able to explain how much these books mean to me. I know that I may love other series and worlds (I'm currently reading some Terry Pratchett, for example), but they will never make an impact on me in the same way that Tortall and all its various characters has, and that's fine by me

and yet, through all of it, I will never, ever be ready for The Thing We Don't Talk About in Mastiff, not now at a dozen rereads and not in another 13 years

[coucouatoi]

we're not who we used to be | h.s.

Pairing: Harry Styles X Reader

Summary: Some letters you've written but never sent to Harry over the years.

Warnings: Angst... so much... there's some fluff, emphasise on the some, there's a hopeful ending tho!

A/N: Sooo this is the childhood friends to strangers fic no one asked for... Hope you all enjoy! This is my writing debut in Harry land :)

╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮

April 10' 2010

To: Harry Styles From: Your first fan

Hiya Harry,

It's currently 11:29 pm about 10 hours away from your audition. I figured since you told me to stop praising you and boosting your ego, I'm writing down the rest of the things I want to say.

Firstly, I know you're going to smash it! All the judges are going to want you in. There's no chance that they won't see how special you are, how you're the next big thing.

I won't let you back out of it last second! Anne, Gemma and I are ready to drag you onto the stage, we've discussed it thoroughly...

Secondly, I'm already so proud of you. This is a huge step, I know how nervous you are about it. How you think that everything is going to go wrong and that you'll fail. I've got enough hope in you for the both of us. I'll stand by your side the whole time and I'll cheer the loudest.

To finish, you're Harry Styles. You can do anything.

Break a leg superstar!!

Cheering you on already,

Your first-ever fan

╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮

December 12' 2010

To: Harry Styles From: Your biggest fan

Harry!

You've made it all the way to the finals! It's crazy! I knew you could do it but seeing you go further and further has been surreal.

I hope you and the other boys get along well! We haven't had much chance to really gossip about it all, you seem excited with them!

The finale is set to start in about 2 hours and I had to get some emotions out (my mom was tired of hearing them... rude) Anyway! I remembered that I had written you a letter a few months ago and now I'm back in this notebook.

I'm so nervous, excited and kind of nauseous about watching the last episode tonight. I can't even imagine what you're feeling right now... You must be so scared but incredibly jittery!

I'm counting the days until I get to see you again! I want to hear everything that's happened behind the scenes! You know how nosy I am!

I've already taken up two pages so I'll stop for now.

You can do this!

Talk to you soon,

Your favourite person ever

╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮

March 7' 2011

To: You From: Me <3

You called me Angel today...

I don't know what to make of that.

I had so many butterflies in my stomach.

Could you call me that again?

You're my favourite person,

Angel

╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮

November 20' 2011

To: Harry From: Angel

Boo!

You finally let me listen to the full album today! Said you had to be there when I listened to it so you could give me all the secrets. You also wanted to see live how I reacted to every song. You're too cute.

"I Want" is my current favourite.

You did tell me that you'd resonated with a lot of the lyrics you sang on this album. That almost scares me.

How did you relate? Who was going through your mind?

You do have the world at your feet now. I shouldn't feel jealous but I do like having you all to myself. Don't worry I'll get used to sharing...

The Up All Night Tour is starting soon! I'm happy that you've invited me to come to some shows. I'll be there no matter if I have to miss school.

I have to show all these newbies that I'm THE biggest Harry Styles fan out there!

Hopefully, you thought about me while signing.

Because I think about you all the time,

Your favourite fan.

╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮

April 13' 2012

To: Harry From: Angel

G'Day Mate!

So you're officially all the way in Australia now! That's so exciting I wish that you could have stuffed me into your suitcase... sniff

I bet it's super warm there! Or not wait their seasons aren't the same as ours, are they? I'm not even sure...

Hopefully, you can tan a little while you're there! Don't go near any animals or insects!!

I miss you a lot, maybe I'll send this one (spoiler I definitely won't).

Talk to you soon hopefully.

Go swim in the ocean,

Someone who wants to be in it

╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮

August 29' 2012

To: Harry From: Angel?

You haven't come to see me since you've been back.

Too busy being a celebrity?

I've been seeing all these tabloids... I'm not allowed to be jealous I know but I miss you.

I hope you've missed me.

I really really wish you were here with me or that I was with you wherever you are now.

I just want to be us.

Have you forgotten your friend from the small town already?

╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮

January 1' 2013

To: Harry From: Someone You've Hurt

I don't know what to think,

You kissed me. It made me happy.

You said it was a New Year's kiss.

You said you drank too much, it hurt.

You ended up kissing someone else about 20 minutes later.

That hurt even more it almost made me feel used.

I'm happy you were my first kiss.

I don't think you'll even remember it,

Y/N

╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮

November 27' 2014

To: Harry From: Me

I love the new album, took me a while to finally listen to it. I thought you'd come home and make me listen to it in your presence.

You didn't. The first album that I've listened to alone.

Spaces and Fools Gold are my favourite songs. I wonder how many lyrics you resonate with. How many of them did you write?

Come home?

Only for a day please,

Your first Angel

╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮

October 21' 2015

To: Harry From: Y/N

It's been a while,

It's your mom's birthday today. Well only for a few more hours...

She invited my family and me to the party, and of course we went. I didn't think you'd be there. I haven't seen you in almost a year.

It was fun.

Catching up about everything that's been going on with you and the band. Your life is so much more interesting than mine now.

I'm just a boring college student... you're this huge star but that's ok there's no one like you for me, you're my safe place. No matter how far away.

You asked about my love life and I told you about the date I had a few days ago. You asked if we had sex, I lied and said yes. I didn't want to embarrass myself by telling you no one's ever been with me like that.

We ended up getting drunk. Too drunk.

We fucked.

You took my virginity and you have no idea... should I tell you? You were so good. So gentle, loving but you fucked with a purpose, you needed to get off. I won't ever see your childhood bedroom the same way.

This was only a few hours ago.

I've felt every emotion about it. Now I'm crying because I know you'll find someone new to share a bed with. I'm just a notch in your headboard.

It meant everything to me.

But I think I regret it...

Y/N

╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮

May 12' 2017

To: You From: Me

Really?

I hope Only Angel isn't about me.

But I'm overanalysing every single song. Is one about me? Did you think of me while making this album?

We haven't talked since the last time we saw each other. When we fucked again. It wasn't even the second time, after your mom's birthday two years ago we never stopped. It's all we do when we see each other.

It doesn't make me feel all that much better but I feel like if it wasn't for that we wouldn't even know each other anymore.

I'm moving away this year. Got a job offer in Canada and I'm taking it.

Maybe I'll get over you... hopefully.

I can't live my whole life waiting for someone who I don't know anymore.

I'm blocking your number.

I miss who we used to be,

Your first-ever fan

╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮

December 4' 2019

To: H From: Y/N

Hello,

You've crawled your way back into my life, Harry. This morning, you decided to send me your album. Your new one, Fine Line. Your fans haven't even heard it yet. The public hasn't either.

You didn't write a single thing in your email, the mp3 link was staring me down with your automated signature. Not even a greeting.

I shouldn't have listened to it.

I don't know why you sent it to me. We haven't spoken or crossed paths in over a year. Not since I moved and tried to get rid of every way of contact between us.

I still haven't answered, I don't think I will.

You don't get to know what I feel about it. Not anymore.

I'm sorry Harry.

I've moved on,

Y/N

╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮

December 13' 2019

To: H From: Y/N

Your new album came out today.

I'm proud of you even if we are strangers now.

You're a superstar.

I always knew you would be,

Y/N

╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮

March 17' 2020

To: H From: Y/N

I saw that you had to postpone your tour.

You must feel so defeated.

I know I do. Everything's been closed and opened and closed again here in Canada. It's getting exhausting.

I hope the world starts working again soon.

This all sucks...

Crossing my fingers for the tour,

Y/N

╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮

May 18' 2022

To: Harry From: Y/N

Hi,

You sent me the album before the release again.

This time you did say something: I miss you Angel, Can we meet up?

I didn't think I could feel so many butterflies in my stomach. I felt like a teenager again. And I cried more than once listening to Harry's House.

I'm still considering if I should answer... if I do what should I choose? Should I agree and go into the unknown or forget it happened and keep on going with my life?

I miss you too... the one I knew. Not the one who used me. I guess I used you too... How did we get here?

All I want is to be loved and to be in love.

I'm not sure if I'm ready for the hurt this will bring but maybe I should just be a grown-up about this...

I want you back in my life.

That scares me,

Y/N

╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮

August 16' 2022

To: Harry From: Y/N

Well,

I'm going to the Love On Tour today and after we are going to "meet". We even have until the 20th because that is when your next show is, after today obviously.

You were so excited when I agreed.

It's almost as if no time has passed when we text (he changed his number in the last few years... no need for an embarrassing unblocking).

My friend, the one who convinced me to agree, helped me pick out an outfit. Thankfully for her, I won't stick out like a sore thumb in the crowd of feather boas and cowboy hats.

I really want this to work.

I want to believe that we can be good again. We can be healthy for one another again but I'll be worried until I see you.

Until we speak.

I won't let myself touch you, I have a feeling that it would be far too easy to fall back into a bed. Maybe a hug would be okay.

I'm excited for the show, to see the Superstar Harry Styles in action. After so many years you have to have evolved so much.

You aren't little Harry from Worcestershire anymore.

I'm not the same person I once was either.

See you tonight.

Break a leg,

Y/N

[astraeye]

when i was younger, my grandparents had a huge house in the countryside. it had 4 big dogs, a football field, lots of sheep, a small forest we loved to explore, a pool.

by the pool there was a shower that to this day is the best shower i've ever used. it was big and round and with a lot of pressure and the warmest water. showering there was like showering in a warm waterfall. sometimes i still remember the feeling of its heavy warm water falling on me, the sounds of the pool close and the chilly afternoon breeze carrying the chocolate smell from the chocolate factory nearby

my grandparents sold the countryside house 7 years ago. i get it better now than i got at 13. they were almost in their seventies. it was getting hard to take care of a large property full of ups and downs. i still miss it though.

here in brazil most houses have electric showers. maybe you shouldn’t mix electricity with water to take a shower but we do and it works. in this type of shower the more you open the faucet, the colder the water gets. so in hot days, we open the faucet like our life depends on it so we can have a refreshing shower. and on cold days we barely open it, hoping for the warmest water we can get.

so, sometimes, when i'm alone at my apartment, when i know my roommates won't arrive for a while i go take a barely-open-faucet shower. i leave the bathroom door and the windows open so that the breeze will come. and then as i feel the warm water and the chilly afternoon breeze i close my eyes

and it's summer 2011 again. i am 7 years old, taking a shower by the pool at my grandparents' countryside house. i can see a bit of the pool around and hear its sounds. i know once i finish my mom will hug me tightly with a towel so i don’t catch a cold. my brother is upstairs playing a game with my father and uncle. the dogs are laying by the door's carpet always waiting to be petted. my grandparents are preparing a post pool snack for us.

time feels clockless. childhood feels adultless. i'm showering in a warm waterfall, i feel the smell of chocolate breeze.

[annabel--113]

my oc story

so I have these ocs… and I’m kinda writing a book about them and just finished a chapter and just wanted to post something about it and see if anyone would see it or like it

Characters:

Andrew(A.J.): he’s Allison’s best friend. He’s goofy and love to make lame jokes also really caring. His mom passed when he was really little and his dad is serving in the military. He lives with his grandma on his dad’s side she’s very kind but doesn’t leave the house much and gives him a lot of freedom. A.j. Is 17 btw and so is Allison all the teens in the story are 17-18.( also maybe potential crush going on between him and Allison hint hint)

Allison: she has two siblings one older brother who has basically ignored her since he turned 13 they where close as kids but he started to practically hate her as a teen, they are 4 years apart in age. He moved away to collage when he turned 19 though. Her other sibling is her younger sister she very spoiled and kinda hates her too but just ignores her unless she’s tattling on her, she is 11. Her parents are very strict with her and especially her grades Allison doesn’t do well in school and constantly gets yelled at over her grades more details on her parents later. Neither of them have phones btw and this story is set in around 2011 in america. Allison has had terrible nightmares since she was a child and hardly sleeps due to them. She also starts hallucinating “the girl in the mirror”, about 6 months before the incident, who looks nearly just like her. More info on the girl in the mirror if you want you can comment if you want more btw.

—————————————-

I’m at my house already, to be fair I did walk pretty fast. I walk up the driveway to the front door and turn the doorknob. It locked. Just as usual I don’t know why I even tried opening it I walk around the house and open the side gate and walk up the stairs to the second level. Our house has stairs on the outside as well as the inside to get to the second floor, I’m not sure why it’s probably because our house is older than the other newer houses on our street.  

When I got to the top of the stairs I pulled out my key from my backpack pocket and unlocked the door. I entered into the carpeted hallway and turned to the first door on my right. That was my bedroom it’s quite small, well very small hardly fits my bed and dresser. It works well though at least I don’t have to share. Walking into my room I tossed my backpack down on the floor by my dresser. It sure felt good to take off that heavy bag, they really should give us smaller schoolbooks.

I do have to start on my homework though, I’m meeting up with andrew today, that will be nice at least.

                  ___________________

I finished my work, a history assignment and the dreaded math page, and then headed to the backyard. Our backyard is quite nice actually we have a pool, my mom used to offer swim lessons in our yard to kids in the neighborhood but that was a long time ago. We also have a small trampoline and there’s a patch of grass and a garden box with dead plants from months ago. But what I’m headed to is the shed in the corner in between the back wall and the fence. I pull a ladder over from behind the shed and set it out and climb up to the shed roof. From the roof I can see the thick grove of wildish trees behind the wall. The trees occupy the empty lot behind my neighborhood, andrew and I hang out there a lot. There’s a specific clearing right on the other side of my backyard wall where the shed is, we usually meet up there. From where I’m sitting on the shed roof I can see that he’s not here yet, that’s fine I’m sure he’ll be here soon. Not long after we met andrew found an old ladder and propped it up against the wall behind the shed so I can climb up and down to the clearing easily. I climb down that ladder and sit next to the big willow tree and pull out my book to start reading while I wait.

                  ———————————

“BOO!” 

“AHH!” I screamed “what the heck was that for” I said as Andrew just laughed hysterically 

“No reason really other than to scare you” Andrew said in between laughter 

He sat down beside me and leaned over to peek at my book

“Whatcha reading”

“Uhh it’s called ‘in your shoes’ I’m rereading it actually” I said as it flipped the book over to check the cover 

“Huh seems interesting could you maybe lend me it sometime” 

“Of course in fact you can have it when I finish which will probably be tomorrow evening”

“Nice, sounds perfect, sooo whatcha want to do today…?”

“I dunno…” I said trailing off 

He reached into his backpack and pulled out a book of his own. It was, as usual, his worn copy of the book “gone with the wind” he really loves that book, probably because it was the book his grandad left him.

He started to read leaned up against the willow tree near me, I tried to read but my thoughts where racing so I just ended up staring off into the distance lost in thought

               ————————————

           3 years ago

I was outside in the backyard, it was pretty cold so I wore a sweatshirt, as I stepped out of the back door into the crisp night air I felt calmer. I walk over to the shed and stepped behind it and glanced around until I saw what I was looking for, the block of wood I had painted to be a target. I pulled it out and propped my makeshift target up against the outside wall of the shed. I then reached into my pocket and pulled out my switchblade. Kinda crazy honestly that I could even buy it though I did buy it online, anyway then I just started practicing my knife throwing at the target block. 

It’s calming actually to do knife throwing especially if you’re pretty good at it. I find the think of the blade as it hits the wood to be relaxing, so not more than 30 minutes later of knife throwing I hear some rustling in the trees on the other side of the wall then I saw a figure in the trees. Someone was here. 

“Hi there” a voice called from the trees it scared me and I swung my arm and before I knew it I had sent a blade hurtling at the person. He screamed and dodged it just barely. 

“Oh my gosh I’m so sorry you startled me!” I said quickly.

“It’s ok I’m fine geez you got some reflexes, and who throws knives at 10 o’clock at night” he responded with a grin 

I rolled my eyes and responded with “ and who climbs trees and scares people in their yards at 10 o’clock at night” 

“Ok that’s fair” he said then turned to pull my knife from the tree trunk it was lodged in. “Oh and my names Andrew by the way what’s yours” 

“I’m Allison , and don’t throw the knife down I’ll come get it” I say as he almost drops the knife down into my yard. He quickly pulls the knife up and says “oh got it, sorry”

He then watches as I pull a ladder over and climb onto the shed roof. Now on the shed roof we are only around 5 feet apart I can see him clearer now. He looked about my age with wavy brown hair and slightly tan skin. He grinned and passed my my switchblade back. I noticed that he had dimples, and freckles but only a few on his nose. 

“Thanks” I said as I took my knife back 

“Mind if I step down there” he asked indicating to the shed roof. I nodded and he slowly lowered himself from the tree onto the roof.

——————————————

(Back to the regular timeline btw)

One day after after meeting up under the willow tree 

“So whatcha want to do today?” Andrew asked

“I dunno? It’s pretty hot today.” I said 

“OH how about we go get milkshakes!”he said excitedly 

“Sounds great” I said. So we walked to the cold stone down the block and ordered some milkshakes. I got vanilla with caramel sauce and Andrew got chocolate with crushed Oreos. Of course I paid because Andrew conveniently forgot money. We sat down at a booth and he immediately started drinking his milkshake.

“I gotta go to the bathroom, don’t steal my milkshake” I teased.

“Geez I won’t” he said grinning 

I smiled back and walked towards the bathroom and quickly walked into a stall. I finished and was washing my hands and looked up at the mirror and I saw her. She behind me a few feet away in the mirror I was frozen in fear I saw in the mirror as my face went pale. I didn’t dare turn to see if she was really behind me. Something was different about her since I last saw her. She had a small knife in her hand at her side. My knife. My knife with deep red blood dripping from the tip. I couldn’t move, I tried to scream but the bathroom stayed silent. So I closed my eyes and bolted blindly for the door fumbling around until I grasped the handle and got out of there as fast as I could. I froze outside the door. Andrew stared at me worry etched on his face at my panicked look. “Are you ok?” He said standing up from the table and stepping towards me. I took a breath then said “I’m doing fine let’s go home now.” He looked confused then nodded and state to gather the trash at our table and threw it away. I stood still watching him as he cleaned up. After he finished he walked up to me and said “so you ready to go?” I took a moment to compose myself and nodded. He smiled gently and we set off. 

We arrived back at the willow tree I still hadn’t spoken the whole time my mind was preoccupied with images of the girl in the mirror. I couldn’t get my mind off the knife,my knife, dripping with crimson blood and the drop of red on the skirt of her white dress. 

                  ————————————

(about a 4 months later)

March eleventh the day of the incident 

It was late around midnight so by now it would be the eleventh of march. I had gone to see A.J. Around 9 o’clock after I had a yelling at from my parents. I just needed something to distract me so of course I went to see A.J. He knew what was going on I didn’t have to tell him it happened often enough that I’d go see him after a yelling from my mom or dad. So we decided to just go for a walk to nowhere in particular. We ended up walking around in the alleyways behind a shopping center. Those alleys are like a maze, plenty of twists and turns. We were chatting about something that had happened at school earlier that week. Some fight that happened in the lunchroom. I hardly remember what we were saying I think a.j. Was making some jokes, he could clearly tell I was distracted and probably wanted to cheer me up. 

Then I heard footsteps. I can tell who is coming from footsteps pretty well and I knew these ones. The loud clunk of two sets of heavy shoes and one putter of light sandals. Then the light but heavy confidant steps of someone I recognized well, it was them. 

And I heard their voices, they knew I was here and they knew what they wanted. 

“A.J. You need to go.” I said quickly hardly recognizing my own voice 

“W-what?” He stutters out confused 

“I said you need to go, leave, go home now.” I said now more sure of what I said 

He looked completely confused but realized from the tone of my voice that I was serious. he didn’t think he should leave, I could tell that but he started to walk away regardless. I stood still as he walked out of the alley and turned a corner. I could hear them getting closer their voices loud in contrast to the silent night. I had no idea how late it was by then. 

They approached and saw me there. I saw rosette their “leader”, most call her red or cherry, something like that because of her straight shiny red hair. Quite the contrast to her boyfriend Dallas’s inky black hair, he stood behind her a sinister smirk on his face also. I noticed a beer bottle in his hand, and one in Lila’s also she was an enthusiastic cheerleader in school often cheering at her boyfriend’s games. Lila’s boyfriend, I didn’t quite know his name I think he was newer to their gang, stood next to her. Rosette still smirking said to me “so, you thought you could get away or something? Not after you bad mouthed me in front of people in the lunch room certainly.” 

I took a step back instinctively. Though it had been months since they had laid hands on me I still knew they wouldn’t hold back. Yet also they seemed to be slightly drunk well everyone but rosette, she was tough always partially sober. Then again she didn’t drink hardly as much as the others even though they were underage all the rich kids somehow got their hands on alcohol most weekends and had big parties. I assumed they had just came from a party like that. 

“Oh don’t walk away yet we haven’t even gotten started” rosette said clearly threatening. I stood taller and she smirked. 

“So where did we leave of last time, oh yes I remember you have yourself a little friend I’ve found. Honestly it’s pathetic for anyone to put in the effort of pretending to care about you. You know he doesn’t really care.” 

My anger flared up “you don’t know what you’re talking about!” I said a bit louder than I wanted to.

“Oh I don’t? Really such a shame that you care about that boy.” She said her sinister smile still plastered on her face. Behind her Dallas cracked his knuckles.

“ what are you getting at?” I asked my voice shaking.

“Oh just thinking would be quite a shame if he were to go unprotected. Some people can be quite cruel to teenagers wandering alleyways at night. You never know what can happen” she said coolly 

I knew her threats when I heard them. She was threatening to hurt a.j. How dare she. Of course she had figured my soft spot. 

“Don’t you dare.” I said between gritted teeth. 

“Oh what are you going to do? You’re playing a losing game it’s four against one.”

She said as Lila took a swig of whatever beer they had and Dallas smiled and rolled his sleeves up. I’ll never understand why they like to fight. Maybe it’s to let their emotions out, people like them seem to hide everything including emotions. I stood at the ready and Dallas noticed me taking a fighting stance and smiled then threw a hard punch to my side. I couldn’t dodge it in time and doubled down in the pain. I felt another punch this time at my jaw by who I think was Lila’s boyfriend. I was backed into the brick wall of the alley they threw a few more punches. I was tired and could hardly fight back then I saw rosette smile and whisper something to Dallas he broke his beer bottle on the other brick wall. I recognized what was happening they would use the broken bottle and cut me out then go find a.j. They’d get to him they probably had their fancy car nearby. As Dallas approach me holding the bottle I instinctively reached in the pocket of my jacket. They noticed my movement and stopped. I slowly pulled out my blade from my pocket with a snap of metal the blade popped out. Rosette froze for a moment at seeing the knife. They said Coolly “think you can just pull a blade and make us go away? Think again. I know you Allison your to much of a coward to use that.” She glanced back at Dallas smiling coolly.

Dallas took her sign and began to charge at me. I shut my eyes tight stood up tall and held my blade out still and jabbed forward. I heard a shriek not sure who from. I kept my eyes shut afraid of what I’d see if I opened them. Seconds, minutes, passed I heard my heart in my chest pounding. I heard rosettes ragged breathing, she was afraid. Then I opened my eyes I saw Dallas fall to the floor a dark pool spilling from his chest. His eyes were rolled back. I noticed that his chest didn’t rise and fall. He wasn’t breathing. He was dead. Rosette looked at Dallas and seemed to realize what I had because she then turned to me furiously. She shreiked tears pricking at her eyes staring at Dallas. She charged at me shoving me against the wall. My head hit the bricks sending searing pain through me as soon as I opened my eyes back up after hitting my head I saw them running out of the alley towards the light at the end of the alley. Towards the parking lot I knew was that way. Though I knew it was there I couldn’t look at Dallas’s body. I stepped a bit away and leaned back against the wall and stared at the dark bloody knife and wiped the blood dripping from my lips from the earlier punches. 

                ———————————

I ran when Allison told me to get out of there, I had hardly been running for a few minutes until I knew I had to go back I rushed back trying to navigate the alleyways. Then I heard some voices, I think I recognized them they went to my school. Then I heard Allison’s voice. I looked over the corner of the brick wall and my heart seemed to stop. I saw Allison  about 15 feet away from where I was hiding at the corner of the alley. She was holding a knife into the chest of a guy eyes shut tight. Two girls and another guy stood by terrified. The closer girl with red hair was frozen in fear. Al opened her eyes and the boy she had stabbed collapsed to the floor they stood still and I saw that he was dead. At realizing that the red haired girl screamed and shoved Allison against the wall her head hit the bricks hard. The red hair girl let go of Allison and looked at the others and they took off running out of the alley. 

She killed him. She killed him. I could hardly breathe. My thoughts swirled around to quickly to decipher. I don’t know how long I stood there with my eyes shut thoughts swirling, was it minutes? Hours? I opened my eyes and saw Allison standing looking at her bloodied knife. She closed her eyes and gripped the knife holding it up. 

“Allison!” I called her name out she froze. Her eyes shot open and the knife dropped to her side quickly.

( thanks so much for reading sorry if my writing sucks I’m still figuring it out but please leave a comment but also please be kind and respectful this is my first story I’m nearly 14 btw so my writing sucks lol)

[ray-winters]

for the coming out thing just. How did you do it? I’m working up the courage and really look up to you. Just like, what was your journey?

So I did it little by little!

First step is admitting it to yourself. No one really talks about coming out to yourself but it’s a real thing hahaha.

But first I told a close friend, then a few other close friends til I had a little crew I could be myself with. Also helps if they’re in the community, but, mine were not. Well now they are but they didn’t know that at the time. Anyways

Then I told the sister I felt closer to, then my other sister, then my mom, and then my dad.

I texted the first sister bc was scared to say it out loud. I told my other sister when we were in the car, my dad stepped out to grab Chinese food and I took my opportunity hahahha then she had to sit with that all the way home 😂

I told my mom when we were watching Enchanted and I was sobbing bc it couldn’t stay in anymore. That wasn’t the best situation unfortunately. I won’t go into details bc privacy and respect for her growth, but I ended up going back in the closet for a little while. There was a lot going on around my coming out at the same time so it just sort of bubbled up into a big thing.

I told my dad in our jacuzzi one night bc it was dark and I was like…well he probably already knows I’m sure my mom told him. He took it quietly but well. I’m proud of him for that tbh bc he’s still a very conservative man, but socially he’s grown. At least on gay rights.

It’s a scary thing, but I sort of tested the waters by bringing up the topic of gay marriage, etc around them and seeing how they felt and how they responded.

2 things that I want to stress:

I came out in 2011, 13 years ago. Gay marriage wasn’t legal, trans issues were barely talked about, and the most rep I had on TV was Kurt & Blaine on Glee and Marco from Degrassi haha. The world was a much different place, however, I am not gonna sit here and say it’s easier bc the queer experience is difficult, especially when you’re first coming out.

2- give your family time. The way I had it explained to me was that I had 16 years to accept myself and get used to the idea that I was gay, initial reactions will not always be the final reactions. My parents have both grown exponentially since I came out, and they’re my fiercest supporters now. Give them time. There’s a whole period of learning and readjusting from what they thought they knew to what the reality is.

Also, tell whoever you want, it doesn’t have to be a big public announcement if you don’t want it to be. I came out on Twitter after being in the closet all throughout high school (private catholic high school L) and went semi viral throughout the school bc finally I was able to say it out loud haha. But when it came down to telling the people closest to me, I just sort of let them know I wanted to tell them something kind of serious and that I needed their trust.

All that being said, as long as you accept yourself and you have a support system- be that irl friends, family, internet friends, etc. you’ll be ok. There’s a community out there waiting for you no matter where they might be 💙

[galacticxangel]

Wait I saw your comment on the meeting your mutuals/stranger danger post. You said you married your mutual? That's so cute. Have you shared that anywhere and if not would you share it here?

I’m pretty sure I’ve shared it passively, but I never shared the full thing just on its own, so I’ll do that here!

So back in Ye Olde Days (13 years ago), Ask Blogs were a big thing on Tumblr, and also, so was Minecraft! And wouldn’t you know it, I was running a little Minecraft ask blog. And then I came across another, which had amazing art and characters and I adored what I was seeing, so I followed, they followed back, I sent little asks, and we communicated that way! The blog I found was run by two people, @cosmic-anchor (Silvia), and her friend Lazzy (boyo where’s your blog). He’s still a mutual bestie today, as are a few other folks we met via ask blog shenanigans, like @knightlymoon and @ragnarode .

ANYWAY. We get to playing on a server together (we actually use a Minecraft version release date as our meeting anniversary, because it was right around the prerelease of Beta 1.8: September 9, 2011. How do we remember? Well, that’s when they released Endermen! And anyone familiar with Minecraft aakblogs knows just how popular those are today. But back then? HOLY crap. Everyone and their grandma has a Sexy Broody Enderman or a Sexy Broody Enderman Hybrid. It was. A lot), take to each other like a church on fire, and become besties! We have a little house together.

Long time passes, and we’re on pretty much daily communication, still playing games, etc. I went through basic training and she was one of the folks I sent letters to while I was there. We played D&D together (This was an entire fiasco where we lost one bestie due to an abusive relationship. She’s back now tho! Love you Lynn <3). Even in the military, when I got DEEPLY depressed, she was there for me and helped me out (I credit her for being alive today. I’m not sure I’d be here if she hadn’t talked me down and convinced me to see a mental health specialist). I get out of the military, get my own little apartment, and go ‘wait a minute. I can do what I want. I have a best friend I’ve known for like six years now. Let’s invite her down!’ And so we start planning our first

‘Down’ is an understatement. See, I live in Texas. She lives in Kentucky, literally a thousand miles away. And while I’ve got all my documents and paperwork and driving skills and travel under my belt, she… doesn’t. As the older sibling of a special needs person, and not from a very high income household, she didn’t have this stuff. So it’s up to me, and I’m too fired up about taking my bestie to a renaissance faire (yah we. Really nerdy lol) to consider anything but!

We get her costume ready. Her plane tickets. Her ids and everything, sorted. It comes to like. Two weeks before the flight. And I get a call at work. It’s Via. Now, this is weird. Over the years, we’ve kinda fallen into a system. Common communication falls into just a message (Skype at the time iirc, Discord didn’t exist just yet). Something kinda urgent gets you an alert ping (like @ing someone). Dire is a call. And my phone’s ringing.

Not good.

So I hurriedly excuse myself from the office to take it, and she’s in tears. Her dad’s gotten cold feet, and won’t take her to the airport like he promised because ‘what if I’m an internet predator’. I mean. I get it. I have a Southern Style family, too (This will come up later). But damn it, she’s an adult. We’re BOTH adults. Also, I just bought a round trip plane ticket! Also, at this point I know more about her than he does. He still thinks she’s straight. But he won’t take her because we’ve never met face-to-face.

It’s Wednesday. I look at my office door. I have my best friend, current queerplat partner on the line, sobbing apologies.

“Hey. Tell him to pick a place to eat. Dinner on Friday. My treat, okay?”

“What?”

“Tell him to pick a place for dinner on Friday. I’ll see you then.”

Thus begins the trek that cements me as ‘most unhinged friend when others need something’ in our friend group to the day. I go into my office, spinning a sob story about how some nondescript family member just passed and funeral and blah blah I need to go but I’ll be back on Monday.

Green light acquired.

I go home, and immediately go to sleep. I wake up around midnight, pack my bags into my little Kia, and off I go. 1000 miles. Now, remember when I said my family would come up later? Here’s later: I didn’t tell them. There was NO WAY they were going to just sit idle while I drove a thousand miles, ALONE, to meet someone I’d never met in person. I’d never driven quite that far, either. Not to say no one knew, I would plot two hours on my gps, send the path to Lazzy and Via, and check in when I hit the next stop. If I didn’t check in, they were told to call my parents if I was over an hour late. Which, obviously, I never was, because I’m typing this and not like, dead or anything.

I roll up to her local Cracker Barrel at 8pm on Friday, after easily one of the best experiences of my life (was out between cities on a clear, late summer night, got to see the Milky Way for the first time, got ‘adopted’ by a bunch of truckers at a truck stop I paused for a nap at). My hair’s a bit frizzy and I’m wearing a shirt that says ‘Watch Closely: I’m About To Do Something Stupid’. But her dad gets the firmest, friendliest Texan handshake I can give, and a bright smile.

Apparently, he never expected me to show. According to Via, I humbled him that day. I don’t pay for dinner, despite offering. I even stay the night.

She’s on a plane for Texas two weeks later.

(Bonus: it’s at the point I send a picture of the big ol ‘Welcome To Kentucky’ state line sign to my parents. This. Was not a good idea lol. But I had my big Texas meat swangin my ego and I was damn proud to be functionally unhinged. My dad scolds me and then gets me a hotel room in Little Rock, DEMANDING I stop half way on the way back. My mom calls me, yells at me, and then hangs up on me. Calls back an hour later to apologize because she wasn’t mad I went, she was mad that I was right when I told her ‘you’d have tried to stop me’. Ultimately fine, in the end).

There’s at least one other travel adventure (much easier this time! We were supposed to go to PAX South but were too lazy that morning so we ate pizza and played video games.

I move out of my apartment and start renting a house. I have extra room. And I think about my friend, who’s only left her tristate area twice now, both because of me. And I think ‘that’s my best friend! I wonder if she wants to move down here!’

Another 2k miles on my poor little Kia (who’s STILL KICKING BTW), and she now lives in Texas. This was about five years ago. We live in my little granny house that’s older than both occupants combined. You heard that right, though. Oh my god, We Were Roommates.

It’s about this time that apparently Via starts Getting The Feelings but BLESS HER she’s being SO GOOD because at this point I’m defining as Aro/Ace. Turns out it was just some anxiety/aversion because my previous relationship was turbo unhealthy! But I really like this chick, and I’m like ‘you know what, I’m scared I’ll mess up our friendship, but I’ll try these things. We already go on ‘dates’ and I buy you flowers occasionally just because I was thinking of you and we already snuggle every night because it helps us go to sleep’ yeah I was. Hm. Dense.

Anyway it takes off HARD and within the year, we’re married on the coast where I took her to see the ocean for the very first time, on September 9, 2023.

Our first anniversary is soon. 💕

[cars2-renaissance]

I did it, y’all, I figured it out

So waaaaaay back in 2011 or so, my scheming child brain had come up with all these Loki-level theories on how Leland actually survived the oil rigs. I had it all figured out. I knew how he did it. And the real kicker is that it was all technically canon compliant which anyone who has seen the movie will have my 13-year-later response of “how the fu-“

Like it’s just not possible!! That scene was unambiguous. He was very extraordinarily DEAD.

BUT! 9 year old me was like nahhh he’s alive. They’re keeping him locked up in a secret dungeon at the bottom of one of the oil rig legs! Like I was convinced!

So it’s been bothering me ever since I got back into the fandom a few months ago. How did I work that out? Then finally. It came to me.

I FIGURED IT OUT!!!!!

This may have kept me up for the majority of last night BUT!!!!

What if Torque was already on the oil rigs when Leland got there? What if he was on the boat?? What if he heard rumors of this British spy they had captured, found him and was like "ey I got this, don't worry fellas, I'll take care of this one."

Then throws the lemons out of the room, turns to Leland, and is like "what in the star spangled fuck are you doing?!"

So they're on a boat and Leland has already been captured. He's got frickin blow torch burns and the lemons are planning on bringing him back to the rigs for further questioning but Torque is like "I've got a better idea. Let's fake your death then I'LL sneak you out of here."

So we all know Torque's disguise is not just projected. He's got an actual physical disguise. Now any well-prepared agent would be carrying a spare disguise devise in case the first one failed—LELAND FRICKING TURBO WHAT THE HAEL WERE YOU DOING— but here's this poor bastard about to be tortured to death so Torque uses the spare to run a scan of Leland and then puts it on some idk wheelbarrow??? and voilà! it now looks just like him!

But Leland is like “it looks like me, but it’s not going to take them long to figure it out.” But Torque is like, ���Don’t worry about it,” and runs the decoy into a trash compactor and we get an ironic scene of Leland like "damn that could've been me..." then Torque hides him in an empty crate while he gets the other lemons and is like "haha look what I did to that crummy agent! I killed him haha!" And they're like "moron!! We could've gotten information out of him!"

But they unload the crates from the boat. Leland is waiting on Torque to get him out of there. He knows Finn is coming, but he can't call him now. The lemons probably took his comm. they probably broke his axles too or something to keep him from getting away. So he's totally at Torque's mercy here. Then he hears a commotion and shit, that's probably Finn. *rapid gunfire* *screeching tires* *huge explosion* yeah that's definitely Finn. Then there's just dead silence. And shit that's the worst part.

Okay after this, it really gets complicated. Finn wreaked havoc on those bastards so there was a great deal of confusion. Torque has to play along. Maybe he got sent to the boats again? But he wasn't able to make it back to get Leland out of the crate so the lemons unload the crate first and are like how in the fuck?

So now we've got ourselves a pickle cause Prof Z figures out someone helped Leland fake his death. There's no way he could've done it by himself. Now they've got either a traitor or another spy on board. They try questioning Leland about it but he doesn't give out so they toss him a holding cell in one of the oil rig legs to stew in the salt water and contemplate life. I'm sure they told him Finn was dead.

Torque comes back and awwwSHIT the crate is gone!!! And now all the lemons are on edge so he can't even ask about it without outing himself. All he can do is assume they killed that poor agent after all, and he had to keep on with his with mission, now even more precarious.

Some time passes, Torque goes to Tokyo with the main crew so he can offload the intel he got but he never makes it. And we all know what happens after that.

Finn keeps up his killing spree. We get the events of cars 2. The lemon operation gets shut down and the oil rigs get cleared out except, there's still a pretty red Jag stuck in one of the oil rig's legs :) (don’t worry we’ll rescue him)

[9w1ft]

Okay, but releasing album #3 TV on the same day she's going to be in KKs home state is kinda sweet, especially with this album taking on a new meaning for her general, since she's lived and grown up a little more.

Speak Now songs that aren't about Kaylor, but get me in my Kaylor feels.

Mine: released 13 years ago on August 3rd.

Back to December: Kissgate

Enchanted: 2011 Met Gala

Speak Now: Rep Tour Surprise song after the engagement.

Long-Live: The Great War

Mean: Antis. Enough said.

The Story of Us: "it's all part of the fucking story."

Sparks Fly: VSFS

Never Grow Up: 👶🏻👶🏻

I can't wait until Friday. I'm so excited. It's gonna be special.

💜💜💜

Also, Karlie has been using 3 emojis for a while. I wonder if she will continue after SNTV roll outbid done. Ha.

i know precisely what you mean anon!

and i’m so excited too!!

[donfermin]

Much to my disbelief, I recently learned that there are fan accounts for Marcos Alonso. Which is mind-blowing because he’s an ugly shit inside and out. He’s literally responsible for someone’s death and there are people fangirling over him of all people. Alonso’s BAC was 0.93%, which is nearly twice the legal limit in Madrid and he was allegedly going 112 km/h in a 50km/h zone in wet conditions. He crashed his car into a wall resulting in the death of one of his passengers, a 22-year old woman, and three others in the car were injured in the crash. Yet he was still allowed to play football while waiting for his sentencing, which occurred in 2016 when the crash happened in 2011. Alonso was initially charged with DUI resulting in death and injury from reckless driving, and those charges would have sent him to prison for 4 years. But the charges were later reduced to 21 months in prison and then were dropped all together for a fine and a driving ban which he had already served by 2016.

For comparison, an American NFL player named Henry Ruggs was driving under the influence and was involved in a fatal crash that resulted in someone’s death as well. Ruggs was driving 156mph and had slowed to 127mph when he crashed into another car, the speed limit where he was driving was 45mph. The collision resulted in the death of the other driver, a woman, and her dog. Ruggs’s BAC was 0.161% which is more than twice the legal limit in Nevada. So a lot of similarities between Ruggs and Alonso, the only difference being Alonso was given a slap on the wrist and was allowed to continue his career. Ruggs on the other hand was released from his team, the LA Raiders, and would eventually plead guilty to DUI resulting in death and vehicular manslaughter in 2023 and was sentenced to 3 to 10 years in prison.

So in short, the people who make these Marcos Alonso fan accounts either have no idea that he’s a fucking criminal or they don’t care and would probably spout some “it was a mistake, it was 13 years ago” BS. A life is a life. No matter how long ago or how old he was, I hope the guilt eats at him every fucking day because I can’t imagine being that woman’s family and knowing that the man responsible for her death got away scot-free, and that he went on to have a fairly successful career when she couldn’t. Shame on anyone who tries to excuse Marcos Alonso when he’s a fucking killer, and shame on the people making fan accounts of him when he has blood on his hands.

I wish I could say I'm surprised, but I'm not. I lost hope in humanity long ago. Not only his qualities as a football player are quite questionable, but how can you support someone and dedicate your time to create a fanpage knowing that he's responsible for someone's death? But serial killers have fanclubs too, so...

Accidents and deaths caused by drunk-driving make my blood boil, because they can be so easily avoided! Nobody put a gun on his head and forced him to get behind the wheel that day. And I'm sure even in 2011 Madrid had taxis, so why? Why do you have to drive and put not only your life but also your friends' and anyone you can cross on the street lives at risk?? I personally know a few people that lost their lives that way and it's extremely infuriating, because somehow the one driving often survives and doesn't get any punishment.

I also did some digging on this matter after the last time we spoke about it and what shocked me the most is that he was indicted on charges of "homicidio imprudente" (other than DUI and others) and the sentence is from 1 to 4 years in prison.

That's nothing?? And the fact that he didn't do a single day is even more shocking. He was able to avoid prison because a) he admitted his fault and showed regret, and on top of that it was his first crime, so judges tend to be more lenient, b) he paid the victim's family quite a lot of money (now I can't remember if it was 300k or 500k€), and c) the friends who were in the car with them testified that the victim wasn't wearing a seatbelt (which is stupid, yes, but it ended up looking like it was her fault that she died, like???).

Your comparison with Henry Ruggs is actually interesting, because the cases are very similar. I don't know anything about American football so I'm not sure how famous this guy was when the accident occurred, but maybe the difference in popularity also had an impact? At the time, Marcos Alonso was playing for Bolton and was mostly known for being his father's son (Marcos Alonso padre). If he had been more famous, perhaps the case would have had more resonance and a different outcome. Who knows. Still a life was lost and he didn't pay for what he did...

[bolton-buried]

File number 0240818-C

Statement of Harold Holt, regarding death, voices, and another universe. Statement begins.

This is so exciting. I’ve never given a statement before.

Y’know. Where I’m from there ain’t even a Magnus institute here. True facts. The Magnus Flock goes around, swarming after anything paranormal in a voyeuristic flurry, but they haven’t got a set base like y’all’s. Right, yeah yeah. Getting to it.

I suppose to y’all my universe looks backwards. But to me it’s y’all who’re bizarro world. We’re almost identical, but you’ve got all your fears mixed up to the wrong people.

I serve the Coming End That Waits For All And Cannot Be Avoided. But the Harold here serves Forever Deep Below Creation. He threw me out of the apartment the other day. You’ve gotta’ve fucked up real bad to—Wait. Home universe.

Right, yeah. So. My first memory is a family funeral. I looked into the coffin where some uncle or cousin was lain, and it connected for me. That one day that’d be me lying there. And you. And everyone else would find themselves lying there, and they’d never be again.

Childhood was a blur. I’ve been told I was a glum child. But I’ve also heard I was filled with a zest for living. Like my knowledge that it would end was a reminder that it, at that point, was.

Pa died when I was 8 or so—hunting trip to Spain—then my ma moved me back to America, where she took all o’ three years to fall to the Lightless Flame. Went mad, and tried to kill me. So I ran to the first place I thought of. Which was, as it would be for any child my age, the city morgue.

I put my self on one of those slats for corpses, the ones that wheel out, and I waited. And waited. And waited.

I don’t right know what I was waiting for, but it wasn’t to start hearing whispers. I took a while to start making out the words, but I got there eventually.

“I, Penelope Dorris, died at 9:32 on August 7th, 2011, when an accidental overdose on my own medication induced a heart attack. I was unable to reach my phone, and no one was in my home to help me…”

And then another talking over it.

“I, Grant Hugh, died at 17:51 on August 6th, 2011, when I choked on…”

And another. And another.

“I, Lance Cater, died at 0:13 on August 8th…” “I, Wilfred McIntyre died at 7:24…” “I, Meredith Ford, died…”

It was the bodies around me. Whispering the tales of their deaths. I tried to get out, but for several obvious reasons that don’t occur to 12-year olds, they only latch from the outside.

So I was there until morning, listening to the whispered echos of deaths until one of the doors was opened and I shouted for help.

My mom had been arrested, I learned. A family friend took me in. Then the story gets boring.

I move to London for college, major in philosophy. My “gifts” slowly spread from just the dead, to any person whose voice I hear. With my philosophy major, I naturally started working as a janitor at Hilltop Hospital, a temple to the Coming End. I would help protect it from invading powers. Yeah, I can’t do much aggressively, but nobody truly wants to die. And as a savant of my patron, I’m one of the few who can make that happen. At least in their minds.

A month or so ago I went to the basement there. And a crack opened up in the floor, which a spider leg reached through. It pulled me here, into this wrong world.

Harold—your Harold, Bolton—is mad at me because I knew how his friend would die, and I did nothing to stop it.

I can’t do anything to stop or change the deaths I hear. They’re final. A promise from the Coming End itself that this will be it, the moment you will cease to be.

I learned that the first time a living person told me their death. My college roommate.

“I, Matthew Kelsing, will die at 18:04 on May 12th, 2022, when I willingly strangle myself with a belt against the doorknob after learning that I failed an exam that my continued scholarship hinged on…” I’ll spare you the details.

I asked what he said, and he said it again. And again. And again. And I left.

I texted him to ask if everything was okay. He’d die tomorrow. He said so out loud, for fucks sake! He said he was fine.

I tried what I could. I stole the mail key and the router so that he wouldn’t be able to find out the exam score. Tossed all of my belts and his in the trunk of my car and drove it to the edge of town. I wanted to be back by 18:00. Just in case anyway. I hit traffic, and got home ten minutes late. He was dead, having taken the belt out of his pants.

There is no stopping the Coming End. I learned it the hard way. But that’s the way everyone learns it, ain’t it?

Statement ends.

[revanchistsuperstar]

holy hell, have I just had the throwback of a lifetime. dude, way on back when I was a confused unhappy little early-pubescent grub (11-14), I was obsessed with cosplay (still am) and would spend time religiously trawling deviantart and tumblr for crossplay advice, ways to bind and masculinize my face and walk and talk and comport myself more masculinely. I kept saying it was for character accuracy, but of course, there was more to it than that.

to shorten it all up, this tutorial of yours https://www.tumblr.com/revanchistsuperstar/70647041474/new-and-improved-ftm-crossplay-tutorial-if-you?source=share came up on my pinterest earlier and threw me back, after not seeing it for years now. I didn't even remember you were from middle tennessee! I googled the title of the tutorial to see if I could find the OG post, and was so glad to see you're still active on this account so many years later.

I just wanted to tell you that that tutorial was very impactful for me as a fellow southern queer kid. while I never did figure out how to make it work on my chubby, puffy little child face at the time (have gotten a bit better at makeup lately, still no pro but certainly better,) it was something to aspire to, and it was something that got me through a lot of waiting and confusion and self-discovery, knowing I *could* look like a man eventually, whatever that meant for me.

thank you for posting your tutorials online. I'm sure I'm not the only queer kid you've helped simply by being out and proud, but I wanted to tell you personally about how much you helped me survive puberty, the aspirations of passing, or at least being happy in myself regardless. I finally fully accepted myself at the end of last year, and came out to my parents early this year. It's been a lot to cope with, but life feels more promising now that I'm not hiding, and that I can seek medical transition knowing myself.

again, thank you so much for posting your tutorials. your pride has positively impacted me, and no doubt many others. I truly hope you've been well this past decade, and may the future remain bright for you. <3

Holy shit! Well way to go, and best of luck!

That tutorial is over 10 years old, that’s wild.

Believe it or not, I had my gender in no way figured out whatsoever when I was posting those, took me forever to realize what I had going on. I’ve been out as trans of some sort since 2011, but I only came out as a gay trans man and started medically transitioning a little over a year and a half ago.

But yeah I’ve been doing drag now for about 13 years! Vastly improved since the DeviantArt days lol. I now work professionally as a hair and makeup artist for stage and occasionally screen, so that’s what over a decade of plugging away at something can get you.

Glad the tutorial was helpful for you, being that it was one of the only masculinizing makeup tutorials out there on the internet at the time that I made it, its had pretty far reaching effects. Recently I’d been settling in to realizing that even though I’m only in my 30s, because I started drag in my teens I’m now becoming an elder of the drag king art form and as my co-producer from my drag troupe put it, I’m the Velvet Underground of drag kings. 🤣 But I’m glad it helped with your gender feels too!

Keep on keeping on!

[pharawee]

tag game ✨

I was tagged ages ago (sorryyy! 🙏) by the lovely @markpakin. Thank you so much! 💜

1. why did you choose your url?

Way back when I got back into giffing after a year of lurking in the BL fandom I needed a new url. I don't like using urls that are too obviously fandom-related (I don't mind them on other blogs at all!) but I did like Pha from Gen Y so I saw an opportunity and took it. This is before they killed Pha off due to some stupid fandom vote and ruined p much every couple in the series. 🤡

AND THEY DIDN'T EVEN GET HIS NAME RIGHT ON THE FAKE GRAVESTONE!!

Anyway I still really like the name so I'm probably never going to change it (I say all of this as I sit on @winnertanatat).

2. any sideblogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them.

I have archived sideblogs/fansites for old fandoms but other than that...

Oh wait, I have @dancingwithmyphone now where I reblog all the pretty things that I no longer reblog on here because it's mostly about Thai BL now. Does that make @pharawee the sideblog? 🤣

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

Uh, since 2011, I think?

4. do you have a queue tag?

I used to use my queue for aesthetic posts (that now go on @dancingwithmyphone) but now I exclusively use it for posts that tag me. I named the tag ♥ because ♥

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

Because livejournal went under (I'm aging as I write this) and none of its clones seemed like a good alternative.

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

I had to (and also I really like YourMOOD):

7. why did you choose your header?

I made a header for every new HYBS mv. That was before they divorced called it quits and now I'm actually a bit sad every time I look at my header. I should really make a new one. :(((

8. what is your post with the most notes?

I'm super happy to say that it's about Thai marriage equality.

9. how many mutuals do you have?

Uh. Is there a way to find out?

10. how many followers do you have?

I recently reached 6k followers, half of which followed me after I started posting about BL. I honestly don't even know what to think of a number this big lmao hi!!

11. how many people do you follow?

The sidebar says 298.

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

No, only shit posts.🥁

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

Several times... but not as often as I used to because I have some serious hobby burnout right now. :(

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

No, never. I'd cry.

15. how do you feel about 'you need to reblog this' posts?

I don't reblog them. Which is probably a bit petty, sry. 🙏

16. do you like tag games?

I love them so much but I just don't have the time to do them very often and I feel so bad about it. I even have them all saved for when I find the time but then I never do. :((((((

Of course then I also feel bad when I no longer get tagged in things due to not doing tag games. I am the architect of my own destruction.

17. do you like ask games?

I do! And I love sending people asks for ask games because hopefully it brightens their day a bit. 💜

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

You're all tumblr famous to me. 🥰

No, really, when I first got into BL tumblr I felt a bit like

Negl I still do. Idk what the arrows are. Weird fandom takes on twitter and mdl, I guess.

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

Don't tell @cytharat but I've been crushing on her for ages. ❤️

20. tags?

@cytharat because I like her shoelaces 😘

[ecargmura]

Kimi Ni Todoke Season 3 Episode 1 Review - It's Been 13 Years...

After 13 flipping years, we finally get a season 3 of the best shoujo anime ever (to me that is). 13 years means an entire zodiac cycle plus one had passed. I feel super old. However, I’m glad that it wasn’t a remake or a reboot. It’s a direct continuation! That’s seriously rare these days because shoujo animes usually stop when the couple gets together. We finally get a continuation of Sawakaze’s story after confession! However, what I was most surprised about the release of the new season is that everything was released all at once and that the episodes are an hour long! It feels like watching a movie!

I’m actually really surprised with the production! The voice actors are the same! The animation is the same as it was 13 years ago. They didn’t modernize anything as well! The time period is still 2011, so they still have flip phones! I’m so glad they didn’t change anything! I wouldn’t know what I would’ve felt if they modernized the cast a bit too much with brighter color palettes and what not. The music is the same too! I can tell they put so much love and effort into keeping things the same! It almost feels like a love letter to long-time fans!

This first episode is just Sawako and Kazehaya getting used to dating each other now. Their date that had been shown in the very last segment of the second season is finally expanded on! It’s basically what was shown in Episode 11 of Season 2, but longer! They do more things together like have drinks together and go to different places. I do like that their first date wasn’t really something impactful like going to a fancy restaurant, but it was just something students can do together. Going to a planetarium seems nice, though. I want to go to one!

Then, the two go through the process of meeting each other’s family for the first time. It does feel a little fast to meet each other’s family, but I guess it’s better to get it out of the way as soon as possible. Poor Kazehaya had to meet the neighbors and her parents all at once. While it was awkward, Kazehaya enjoyed the experience as he could tell she and her family are well-loved. That’s a good flipping man right there.

It was nice seeing how the Kuronuma parents reacted to Kazehaya. The mom is super chill and supportive while her dad is overprotective. I know that it’s because Sawako never had a boyfriend before so he’s extra protective of her. Like how he was with Chizu and Ayane, he does come around to Kazehaya once he realizes how good of a person he is and how much Sawako likes being around him. I do like that Mr. Kuronuma isn’t extremely overbearing like some anime dads.

Kazehaya isn’t the only one who gets to have fun; Sawako gets to meet her boyfriend’s family too! Maru meets Sawako again after a long while and he grew to be massive! What breed is he? Kazehaya’s mother seems to be a very friendly lady. She’s a bit strict towards her son, but she’s a good lady. Kazehaya got her face. Touta, Kazehaya’s younger brother, is a bit cheeky, but he’s a good kid. Kazehaya’s dad seems a little strict but he’s also a little quirky in the sense that his imposing appearance isn’t all that he seems. He likes dogs as he was complaining that Kazehaya didn’t bring the dog with him. I do like that his dad wanted Sawako to answer his questions and not have Kazehaya answer them for her. It shows that he wants people to be themselves and be confident and not depend on others. Both Sawako and Kazehaya have such good family.

There’s something going on with Ayane and Kento. I feel like Kento wants to date Ayane, but I don’t trust him. Ever since he caused problems for the main couple back in Season 2, he’s on my shit list. Stay away from her. There’s a moment with Ryu and Chizu post-credits. Oh gosh, these two are seriously a lot more frustrating to watch than seeing the main couple trying to get together. Ryu and Chizu’s relationship is so complex and complicated. I can’t wait for them to finally get together.

If there are any gripes, I’d say that I don’t like the opening. It’s not as catchy or memorable as the previous openings. It feels a little generic. Other than that I think that having one hour long episodes really does have a good grasp of grouping specific moments all together and not having to wait weekly. However, I still do miss the weekly formula of waiting for anime. If you have watched the third season, what are your thoughts on the first episode?