#-mumbles

[mumblesplash]

scurvy has got to have one of the biggest disease/treatment coolness gaps of all time. like yeah too much time at sea will afflict you with a curse where your body starts unraveling and old wounds come back to haunt you like vengeful ghosts. unless☝️you eat a lemon

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

when I was a little kid at some point I got upset with my parents because I didn't have a crucifix in my bedroom and they did- I was like why do YOU get to be safe from vampires??? you're okay with me getting my blood sucked???? so we took a little trip to the catholic store but the one closest to us was run by a group of nuns that had been moved here from romania. I got a little baby pink cross and this sweet old nun was like 'aww, is this a baptism gift?' and I was like no. I need to be protected from vampires. and she immediately got SO serious and was like 'this is the best one we've got, you'll definitely be safe' and since she was literally from vampire land I was convinced she was like, van helsing. like the whole time my parents had been laughing about how cute my fear was but she literally Knew dracula and was taking my concerns seriously I held this over my parents for so long lmfao

[nervousmonolith]

me when i fuckin uhhh

[godmodebeginswithlesbians]

[Image ID: a trans flag, edited to have text ove rthe top of it. the text reads: this post was made by a tranny. end ID]

[sentimentalslut]

im not a very patriotic woman but i nonetheless whole-heartedly support every drive-through employee’s constitutional right to be blazed out of their fuckin gourd

[spacespacespace]

Dick: so if it’s you or the laptop-

Tim: me. 100%.

Dick: …your not even gonna pretend to think?

Tim: about what? I can always just rise from the dead but my laptop-

Dick: what?

Tim: what?

Dick: what made u think you can rise from the dead?

Tim: well Jason did it so it’s obviously not difficult

——

Jason, in his safe house reading a book: I feel a chill or disrespectful in the air.

——

Dick: alr can you at least lie abt it

Tim: ughhhh

Dick: for me *flutters eyelashes*

Tim: Fine. *says in monotone voice* If it were either me or my laptop to be destroyed I would choose … the laptop.

Dick: thank you Timmy

Damian, walking past: Richard even you know that’s an outright lie.

[samgiddings]

@staff @support @engineering @music @books

Have you ever considered this is a really stupid layout to have when there’s no way to easily get your account back if you accidentally hit the wrong button???

[sexy-monster-fucker]

Sony giving us the Venom 3 trailer at the start of pride month is better than any other company’s attempt to show that they’re “lgbtq+ friendly”

[apileofmoss]

rb to knead your mutual with your paws

[virtualplushy]

do it weird do it scared do it shy do it anxious do it lonely do it cautious do it with shaking hands. but do it.

[mumblesplash]

Explain yourself.

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

I think we're too harsh on medieval painters because this is legitimately what some poodle mixes look like

[nervousmonolith]

figured out why i dislike the term non-man so much thanks random screenshot

[they-hermes]

the only way id accept jazz frequently going undercover as a decepticon in fanon is if how he does it is just by being nice and funny. like i bet any decepticon would spill massive intel if they met this guy who made funny jokes and offered to clean their guns sometimes. sure they'd like to punch the rookie around but they mellow out pretty quickly and soon enough they're telling the new guy every detail they know about high command over a few drinks and letting him through restricted areas

[annmariethrush]

I love the concept that Viktor ends up with Jayce’s last name through some originally non-romantic means so much that I have multiple versions.

Jayce accidentally gives Viktor his last name by being so insistent on putting Viktor’s name first in every circumstance. When he’s listing their names on anything he puts them down as “Viktor and Jayce Talis”. When he introduces them to people he says “Nice to meet you, this is Viktor and I’m Jayce Talis” with a pause before Talis because he always forgets that he should say his house name too. Viktor slowly starts to notice that they’re referred to in the tabloids as “the Talises” and that higher ups at the academy will introduce him to investors as “Viktor Talis” without Jayce even being there.

When they first start working together, they put their initials next to things in their shared notes to mark when they have questions or agree with something the other wrote, or to differentiate when someone is dictating while the other talks. In an effort to not have it confused with a variable, Viktor initials VT (VikTor) as a bit of a joke to look similar to Jayce’s JT. However, one day when Heimerdinger is looking over their notes, he marks out a question in the margin for Viktor with “Viktor Talis” written out next to it in full. Viktor and Jayce debate for a moment after he leaves if it was supposed to mean it was for both of them, but the contents of the question makes it entirely clear that Heimerdinger things VT stands for Viktor Talis and has accepted that Viktor has adopted Jayce’s last name with no questions.

At the beginning of Hextech, as they are trying to get investors, Viktor regularly gets identified as being from the undercity and harassed for it by wealthy Pilties when he tells them his name is “just Viktor” when asked what house he is from. So one day Jayce suggests just telling investors that his last name is also Talis, thinking that people will assume they are brothers. Viktor gets flustered and tries to politely decline, but Jayce seems to confident that he lets it happen. It takes him weeks to figure out that Jayce doesn’t realize that everyone thinks they’ve gotten married or plan to. Viktor doesn’t have the heart to tell him and won’t let Mel break the illusion.

Jayce takes Viktor on a tour of the forge and when he gets done takes a hammer to jokingly knight him and dub him “officially part of house Talis” Jayce thinks nothing of it until the next time they meet someone new together when he almost spits out his drink hearing Viktor introduce himself as “Viktor Talis”

Some investor that they fucking hate can’t keep their names straight for some reason but always sees Jayce wearing his house sigil so he says “ah, Viktor Talis” every time he sees Jayce. They find it so fucking funny that even just saying “Viktor Talis” sends them into uncontrollable laughter.

Ximena refers to them exclusively as “my boys” to the point that most people who met her after Hextech was founded assume that she has two sons, Jayce Talis and Viktor Talis. She doesn’t feel the need to correct them as she does truly love them both as her children and is also quietly hoping one day Jayce will get his head out of his ass and ask Viktor out on a date.