#-become so awful but for now i love you
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Baby body snatcher guys from last night because there is no force on this earth that could stop me from woobifying even the most niche of gothic literature characters.
Ignore Gray and Fettes also being labled as middle school age, THOSE are 6-8 year olds I'll draw seperate actually preteen versions of them later. Wolfe's right tho thats an evil middle schooler.
#Pre transition wolfe who would steal pants from the boys locker rooms because he wasnt allowed to wear the boys uniform you will-#-become so awful but for now i love you#also while i was drawing this it was decided gray was an orphan raised by his grandpa with chronic illness and scoliosis thats important#cryptid college stuff#gothic literature#gothic lit#the body snatcher#the body snatcher (1884)#wolfe macfarlane#gray the body snatcher#fettes the body snatcher
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Look what came through the mail today!
The letters & ( •̀ω•́ )σ 3 little gremlins from letterstoear.
Just wanna say i adore the flower stickers on the letters too much,
they are that much worth mentioning.
#letterstoear#nui#twst#twisted wonderland#sebek zigvolt#malleus draconia#twst grim#mod posting#okay but i love squishing the bears with my thumb; they just have the right thickness to be pressed on#i really like the flower stickers; they look like romantically artistic wax seal#the letters are pleasantly nice#i love the part where cheka personally request for an audience with yuu thru sebek 🥺🥺🥹🥹 too cute hnggh .......#sebek becoming our little mailman for our little invitation aw 🥹 for those who wanna know the context of the letter;#i requested a letter from sebek that he sent home while he was away accompanying malleus on other country duty#my other favorite part is just him simply opening the letter with 'My love'#i'm sealed 🥹 the first paragraph is written so sweetly#i enjoy reading the letter slowly outside in peaceful afternoon today; i ran it through together with sebek nui#this will be my treasured keepsake from now on 🥹; it seriously made me miss letters and wish i have someone to send this kind of letter to#it was a bit funny how the envelope sebek's letter came from is sticked with the guys from free! sticker fhsdsh 🤣😂#and me with the white haired guy like WHo are u?? fsjdsdjsd (´つヮ⊂); but it's a really nice service#the thank you letter came with such a cute and yummy folding paper; thank you for the stickers too#i feel like there's a bit whoopsie on grim's winky eye fshfh like i think the sharpie just blurs the separating space '<' supposed to have#and just combine it all together into one angry eye; and sebek bear's eyes are just a little bigger than i expected it to be#but the more i look at them i think they are just having a little individuality & still cute#i embraced it all together while knowing the fact none of handmade thing would always be the same one with the other; hehe sebek nui has fr#i kinda forget that there's this kind of clip earring fshd; because i always get the ones that work like screw from aliexpress#i know that the literal clip one would just be literal meaning of pain fsh; just like the magnet one my father once got me when i was a kid#it was painful but pretty; tho i lost it quickly bcs magnet easily get loosed once one part of it moves around when u touch ur hair or face#anyhow i had a pleasant day because of this; thank you very much ! sebek nui said 'thank you' too! ‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚. ❀ ✿ 𖤣…
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Jean-Baptiste Augustin in Baptiste Origin Story | Overwatch
#overwatch is in an awful place right now but i love these characters and the work the devs have done to create them#corporations are evil and cruel and capitalism needs to d!e. don't become an overwatch fan if you aren't already one tbh#on the one hand blizzard doesn't deserve me making gifs and promoting their game for them#on the other hand... this is a canon bisexual black man. a Haitian and an orphan.#when do you ever get to see those traits in media? let alone as a PLAYABLE CHARACTER#Baptiste's existence deserves to be CELEBRATED#baptiste my beloved#nesskain's art always goes so hard#jean baptiste augustin#baptiste overwatch#overwatch#overwatch gifs
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silly soulmate au where everyone has the first words their soulmate said to them on their body somewhere and anakin’s are “excuse me sir, your shoelaces are untied” so he walks around with his shoes untied as a way of trying to bait life into giving him his soulmate
But one day he’s like super done with it and cranky after a bad day and someone taps his shoulder while he’s waiting at a crosswalk and says “excuse me sir your shoelaces are untied” and anakin snaps “your shoelaces are untied”
and obi-wan “afraid to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known enough to be loved” kenobi says “I’m not wearing shoelaces” kinda flabbergasted because he’s spent like 30 years wearing untieable shoes so no one can ever tell him “your shoelaces are untied” only to be thwarted by a beautiful, aggressive soulmate of a stranger
#obikin#Kit’s silly lil AUs#before you ask yeah my shoelaces are untied#and many many strangers have told me#anyway I think it would be funny if obi-wan is so gobsmacked#that the light changes#and anakin is like ‘congratu fucking lations then’ and storms off#OR neither of them really notice/clock the other person is their soulmate#and then meet at a party a year later with no memory of each other#because it was just a brief interaction with a stranger at the end of a long day#over and forgotten#but then they fall in love and date after the party where they meet#and it’s an amazing relationship and very strong and perfect#and anakin starts wearing shoes that don’t have shoelaces because he’s terrified of meeting his soulmate now that he has obi-wan#OR maybe they meet again and become close friends but they don’t date#and they pine over each other for months but don’t want to risk their friendships#and anakin starts lacing his shoes/wearing boots because he doesn’t want to find his soulmate when he’s so in love with obiwan#only for obi-wan to start wearing shoes with laces because he needs to find his soulmate because he’s in love with anakin and that’s awful#will ruin him#(in that version they don’t know what the other person’s mark says)
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You guys ever think about the tragedy that is Junko Enoshima? That she wasn't a sadistic girl seeking out to hurt others for sadistic glee?
Because everything Junko did was her trying to emotionally abuse herself? That she wanting to feel something so badly that she hurt the people she loved most, and even brought about ruin to the world, simply to destroy herself with it?
#junko enoshima#danganronpa#me prior to working on Twins AU: Junko is a poor villain character with little to her aside from sadism#me after actually working hard on Twins AU: .... Wait#the moment I saw something there my brain latched onto it tbh#Like this girl was so miserable with life due to boredom that she#actively#Chose to hurt herself emotionally and mentally#to the point of self destruction#because she literally had nothing else in her life she could enjoy#I think she easily felt love and joy but they had thick layers of boredom to the#them*#And that made them hard to actually enjoy#But despair is an overbearing feeling that consumes you#grief consumes you without fail#And because she learned how strongly she hated herself upon bringing harm to those she loved and all that#The pain so encompassing and engulfing with no boredom to muddy it#The feeling became addicting to her#So she grew more and more extreme with her abuse and self destruction#Until she decided to bring about the destruction of the world#Which if we follow the logic#Kinda weird of Junko who is chasing despair like a drug for her to like#want to destroy the entire world#if she harbored no affection for it#If in her selfish chase for the biggest pain she could feel in her life#if she hated the world why chase the end of it? That would be easy. That would be what she wants. And that's boring.#But if a part of Junko genuinely loved the world she lived in? Destroying it would bring about an unfathomable despair for her#Anyway that is to say Junko is an awful abuser and awful person#But this situation is similar to how I see Kenzo#''If only things were different so you wouldn't have become the monster you are now'' Kind of Tragedy
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Dick or no dick confirmation Pickles was always going to be trans to me anyways; if he's swingin' somethin that's phallo babes, if he's not then his t-dick fat. What's not to get.
#metalocalypse#jay talkin#I'm sorry they wrote that awful gross little man far too likeable and relatable to on a trans level#for me not to hoot and holler and cheer for the trans pickles agenda#changes nothing about his character arc or any of the show anyone is capable of being the kind of person he is#don't make the mistake of thinking thats exclusive to cis men#his transness wouldnt change that#only adds on an extra layer to him that i think works fantastically.#Listen that dude was rejected by his family driven to drink and drugs young to escape that ran away to be in a band#is called fucking Pickles of all things and refuses to tell anyone his real last name;#over the span of four seasons and two movies he slowly starts to learn to be for others what he never had#he becomes more caring more supportive#it's not a stretch to say he undoes some of the toxic masculinity he's been keeping himself shielded behind#and learns how to be a kinder man.#all of which have no contradictions with him being trans!#In fact it doesn't take much extra thought to find ways a lot of this can line up with some trans masculine experiences#i mean. Did no one else have a younger phase where they swung as far as they could into crass rude and uncaring ways#to try and assert their masculinity only to grow and realise that you can be a man and be more caring.#Did no one else have father issues. 1 800 come on now i know those are both shared experiences a lot of us have had LOL.#at the end of the day this show aired nearly 20 years ago and is finished. we're not getting more of it#so nothing is altered nor changed if pickles is canonically trans or not ok. its fine#i mean hell i dont even need canon confirmation hes trans to me and thats all i care abt#but i think if yr getting suuuuuper weird abt needing him not to be canonically trans you have some issues#and bio essentialist ideals of gender if you think only a cis man can act like he does#again. anyone can be like that. its not exclusive. him being trans would not change him in any way shape or form lol#AND ALSO GODDDUUUGH for once i love getting to see a guy pushing 50 whos depicted as trans#do you have any idea how dire and barren it is out here. we never get to see a trans guy older than 30 and whos not a pristine model#I WANT MORE OLD SHLUBBY SHITHEAD TRANS GUYS IN MEDIA
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Once again I read fanfiction that seems to have been precisely written to deal psychic damage to me.
#this is about viridian the green guide. you guys actually read this slop?#boring as shit writing#awful plot lines (trigger has been resolved get new material#excessive use of italics and ‘problem child’. has the author heard anyone use a nickname irl ever#I hate bakugou slightly less than I hate Deku but even I could tell they suck at writing him#skipped over a few chapters because the writing was melting my brain but he would never be that condescending to himself#who the hell thinks ‘I’ve decided to not be an asshole’ with total seriousness#back to the bad plot lines. endeavor *checks notes* becomes a nomu and dies? I know the author nerfed everyone in the ground to match Deku#but wtf was the idea here#most successful cases in Japan and the strongest fire quirk ever (besides Dabi) and he gets treated like fodder?#there’s a certain childish canadence fanfiction writers type in when discussing ideas with others and the whole fic reeks of it.#the general easy going and generic aura vtgg emanates makes it even more insufferable#yeah insufferable is definitely the one word to describe this fic#original fic is ass and it only popularized the concepts. now you have even more bad writers speedrunning terrible concepts#it’s two am so this might not makes sense but whatever. not tagging this as mha because there are a lot of people who like this thing.#also fuck fics with love interests who were pretty happy in canon but actually have two thousand problems in fics#rant#anyways! I need to check into my games#I need to find the fic summarized so I can properly write my fanfic bashing vigilante/quirkless aus. barely any difference anyways.
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new game, new wizard!
#my art#wrath of the jo#my ocs#<- yep. that's the tag for now. need come up smth better#described in alt text#he's got a +8 mobility (lvl2) so im probably going to have him multiclass as smth that actually uses that.#he's from the school of illusion to keep with the kistune theme. also a scholar?#originally had him worship nethys but changed it to shelyn instead. only 5h in but i love him <3#i like to think he behave completely differently depending which form he's in#a goofy ass fox that does whatever he feels like. super noisy vs prettiest guy alive who's a bit vain and shy#and who “accidentally” lose his handkerchief right next to your hand.#i know nothing of the game except you can become a lich among other things and thats so cool. i gasped five minutes into actually playing#cause im easy like that. also deskari looks so good i was in awe tbh. mightve helped with the gasp when redacted happened#'OH THIS GUY LOOKS GOOD GOOD 👀 and they're going to fig- *GASP*'#basically
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you guys are NOT ready for when i finish s3 bc i have the best desolation!tim au ever created and i am going to talk about him 24/7 the MOMENT i finish mag119/mag120
#im on mag95 currently. youre all fucked#tma#the magnus archives#tim stoker#timothy stoker#tim tma#desolation!tim#im so mentally unwell i think about him constantly and i have given him way too many fucked up evil parallels to jon#something about how tim hates jon for becoming a monster FAR before he actually was one only to become everything he hates and worse#something about him going on a quest of vengeance against The Stranger because of how much it took from him and not caring about who gets#hurt in the crossfire. including the people he flirts with to get into employee only areas and access to confidential Stranger artifacts.#thats all you get for now though i have WAY more to talk about#hes awful and a hypocrite and i love him
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The degree of RAGE I feel every time I listen to an interview with and/or about a nonbinary person/character, and the interviewer just is allergic to they/them pronouns. Like. My dude. My good bitch. My brother in Christ. The whole POINT of this conversation is the enby thing. How are you failing THIS badly?!
#this dude bringing up an enby actor to an enby actor and using ONLY she/her pronouns for like two straight minutes#they should not HAVE to say ‘them. them.’ to correct you. you should be SO on that#I mean do better in general but ESPECIALLY in these circumstances#it’s so apparent when people just. refuse to try. and it’s fucking infuriating#also for this man to be talking about a movie that is LARGELY about gender expression and being nonbinary#and just be constantly reducing it to a 'love story'#like. no. it's not that. i mean you can take that out of it if you like (that man was AWFUL so i choose to uh. not.)#but the story was ABOUT gender. and gender presentation. and gender identity and looking a certain way but BEING a different thing inside#and to reduce that to 'a love story' to ensure this story is given half to this man who frankly does not narratively deserve it#is such a dude thing to do. to write and then to see in the finished product. whereas a queer person. an enby person. is gonna be like.#well. LOT more going on there actually. the 'love' is a weird complex backdrop for the actual things going on.#anyway. apparently that's my soapbox for the day#just reminds me of a few famous queer female movies where the story inevitably becomes ABOUT the bland white man who somehow convinces them#to sleep with him/date him/whatever. like. i. hated those movies as a teen and i hate them now. let non-men have their stories without dude#if they must be there do NOT pull the focus from the non-men to make sure the cishet boys aren't left out. this isn't for you. stop it.
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Stayed up way too late drawing a followup comic for what I posted on my art account. I looove these fucking idiots
#originally it was gonna be kinda sweet but I think what it is now is more in character#fight fight fight fight#i love these assholes. they tried. they don't get a gold star though their star is blood fucking red#I am once again talking about Sara and Shin. predictable.#god I need them to kill each other I'm so sorry I need them to be cruel and awful and evil at each other actually#yes I am still delusional about them becoming friends#i just think they should go about it in an awful and lowkey codependent way#you are the person I hate the most and also the only one who can ever understand me#you antagonized me at every turn and yet I feel responsible for helping you because it's the only way I can forgive myself#you terrify me. you remind me of the most sickening man I have ever known but he was the only person who ever loved me#i want you dead. if you died i would never forgive myself. if i lost you then what would i have left in the world. fuck you.#hnngghvggh. nornal guy behavior.#none of this is romantic i must make this clear. it is all a weird evil form of platonic.#also i think it's funny that this grown ass man is beefing mostly one-sidedly with a 17-year-old. i would never.#I'm gnawing on them like chew toys. I'm putting them in water and playing with them like they're orbeez.#putting them in my brain water and watching them expand like those foam animal pill thangs and then tearing them up#I promise I'm normal. I'm a normal guy. I'm so average. literally the normalest guy you've ever met.
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i wish i had more collected and intellectual thoughts on jim and la’an. instead my brain just screams about them all the time
#ohhhh what if i was so cynical of everything. what if i was frigid and closed off and so afraid of other people#and i met someone with a passion for the universe. who loved everything and saw the beauty in it all. and just wanted to explore.#now am i talking about jim or la’an#my fave thing 2x03 does is subvert their traditional roles/characterisations#jim is suddenly that hardened survivalist who needs no one; la’an is wide eyed optimist who believes in the universe’s beauty#bc au jim is from another time!! where there is no earth for him to love!! there is so spock to keep him steady!! he’s lost his brother!!#and his planet!! and in turn his hope and awe#vs la’an from trek’s usual “”utopia“” who now has to convince jim HER timeline is worth saving#‘you could be an explorer’….. she says it with such wistfulness. wanting that role for herself in her own timeline#and YES ofc au jim is also full of whimsy and la’an is still very stiff but that hotel scene makes me crazyyyyyyy#i love how they make jim into the battle hardened soldier. and la’an has to become the beacon of hope#i think that makes her realise a lot about herself :)#i could talk about this episode alone for hours lol but i won’t bc i was meant to go to bed soon#me being like oh maybe i can get an early night :) BOOM struck down by noonirk thoughts#star trek#star trek snw#james kirk#la’an noonien singh#noonirk#ka’an#kirk x la'an
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I'm really nervous for the third sonic movie. not for anything about the movie itself but for the fact that every single Scu thing (with the exception of drone home maybe?) Has been shortly preceded and/or followed by some kind of personal social tragedy.
And it's really weird cuz it started me writing and without that I wouldn't have met most of my current friends. But at the same time im associating it with the loss of multiple relationships.
Am I an overly anxious person that catastrophises every little thing? Yes. Am I superstitious? not really. But the fact that this keeps happening, And i keep ending up upset near an scu release due to social issues is getting really really freaky and almost makes it seem like there is something weird going on. The storyteller in me wants to call it like a deal, it got me into the sonic franchise and so many good things, but the trade off is ill feel hurt and loose something each time something in that universe comes out.
#night's nonsense#god ive been so negative the last week or so. Sorry about that#i just feel like so many things are getting worse and the better things are vanishing#like i checked out some old games i used to play on my ipad and now they got adds every other minute and are super stingy with in game stuf#all a ploy so you get frustrated and buy stuff of course. But it sucks that it didn't used to be like that#they're silly dumb games and now theyre all money money money#sucks#ive been trying to pull myself out of this but each time i get progress i just get knocked back down again#im just so tired at this point#this time last year was much more enjoyable#low key wanna skip to the end of this year.#But what would be the point of that? its not like a new calendar year automatically means things are different.#They're all days and who knows what they'll contain. Bad? Good? Blessings? tragedy? i dont know at this point.#God i've got so much to rant about from tiny things to massive things#but im definitely becoming a nuisance. There already enough awful in the world. Dont need me being a downer to#Ill try to finish off my tags with somethign nice. For my own sake to#I got visited by seven king parrots today. around now the babies are almost adults and every year the parents bring them to see me#such lovely pretty and sweet birds them. if you haven't seen a picture go search them up.
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cant remember bringing this up for a while so honestly i'll never be over the reiiteration that jean himself has a bleeding heart. he is going to be both blunt and honest with whoever hes speaking to, but in a way that he hopes will come to help them understand the situation but also does it so whoever he's speaking with actually understands the full situation and what that may entail despite the gruesome outcome.
#out of.#i know so many people respect erwins RTS speech bc its so important but#his honesty to the corps completely parallels what 15 year old jean was saying to the scouts in trost arc and that is. IMPORTANT TO ME#rusty honesty is the most lore accurate name for his theme bc jean is. at his very core. AWFUL at this when he starts off#esp as a scout bc ... so much of it gets held back. just not enough for marco to not see it :pray:#his first proper scout interaction with eren is something i always write as a big regret for him but i also think its good to say he was a#fifteen year old who was suddenly becoming his own and a lot of peoples therapists.#he gets so much better with all this. he GROWS#i was talking abt this with angel a second ago but it's just part of the reiner and jean parallel that makes me enjoy writing them the most#reiner originally was this massive older brother figure role following all he had learnt from marcel. but peoples trust in him snapped so#easily when the reveal took place and he then spent the rest of the series trying to gain it back#( the only character who really seemed to forgive him the most being jean )#whereas jean was the character everyone loved to be mad at / tease / not get too close to#into becoming someone the majority of the scouts trusted the most#one day i will write my meta explaining all these diff characters jean mirrors but ... i shall leave you with this for now
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Me when we don't speak anymore by bears in trees
#lizzierants#had a sudden unplanned job interview today. i wanted to cry the whole time but managed to keep it together and now the anxiety has suddenly#caught up to me and it feels BAD the sudden thought of that what if my friends just dont actually like me and they like me purely because#theyre worried for what would become of me if they stopped being friends with me when purely of course id be fine eventually but i worry#that cause im on antidepressants people just think im automatically suicidal when something bad goes wrong which is not the case im doing#good i dont want to die but what if all my friends hate me what if this whole time i have loved them so so much and they just tolerate me#someday my friends will die and i had that i hate that someday we wont be friends even if its decades in the future i love all of them with#my heart that sometimes i feel it is overfilling i love them i love them and what am i without them i am everything i have ever loved i am#overthinking however i cannot stop this what if my own best friend is avoiding me? why am i thinking this? what evidence do i have to back#this up? nothing only for the fact my own brain feels as though i love people too much and they are uncomfortable with it i feel awful wtf#i have learned to keep my emotions from people because i dont want them to worry. i dont want people to do something or not do something bec#ause they think it will upset me i want people do do as they please i want to be open for my friends to share their issues i want to help#and im sitting here wirrying if they hate me so i turn here to shout in the void because the only person i know irl who follows me on here#most likely doesnt read these tags and if you are please ingore this i misjudged your terrible attention span also i love you very much#anyway a few weeks ago i realised my worst fear is no longer death. but the death of my friendship with my beloved friend. and thats fucking#terrifying prospect however if they were to be like yo i dont like you anymore id respect that decision and id be okay because their happine#is the most important thing to me and thats okay but i couldnt bare with the fact that they feel like they had to be ffiends with me because#they have to. i hate the prospect of them feeling trapped in a friendship theh dont want to be in. all the while i feel i cannot communicate#this to anyone because how would i go about it im very anxious i am shaking i am having a bad time very bad time actually im going to start#crying but its okay <3 crying is good for stress and health and its been a while since ive cried so maybe this will help me feel better <3#i will heal and ill be okay <3
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i am like. at my limit with interacting w/ ppl bc *gestures vaguely* holidays. and now my old boss, who's also a long time family friend, is texting me out of the blue asking what i've been doing? if i'm working? etc and like. i Cannot talk to u rn (this was yesterday) and then i wake up (8AM) to 2 recent missed calls from her like. i cannot talk to you rn!!! i hate ppl who expect you to always be available / able to respond immediately.
#also it's such a long story but. basically she sold the company i used to work for (remotely) months ago#and the new owner was like yes yes i want to keep you here. then. she ghosted me. and i was too neurodivergent abt it to contact her again#and now my old boss is asking what i've been doing (very sporadic freelance)#and my whole family thinks i'm still working for this family friend bc if i told them i wasn't i'd be a whole awful thing for me#and i've been LOOKING for other things but like. it has to be remote for reasons and it's been hard#but anyways now i'm paranoid this family friend is gonna reach out to my MOM bc i haven't answered her yet (it's been less than 24 hrs)#and if my mom finds out any of this... HELL ON EARTH for me.#and i'm so fucking tired. like i'm 28 fucking yrs old and still treated like a child bc i live at home like ?? believe me i'd love to not#this isn't by choice#anyways. VENT. sorry. i'm just. very close to become a rage monster in a meltdown so. tumblr vent to Cope lmao#delete later
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