#-amicizia

[the-devils-dozen]

Yk that dissociative feeling when you look in the mirror and your reflection hits you like ?̷̭͚͈̪̋͋̕͝*̸͚̋̔͋8̷͔͓̬̰̞̍́̍̀̚k̷͕͙̺̙̜̐̎0̴̸̸̭̜͙͍̪̝̫̤̱͕̻͈͊̽̂̓̇̏̑͋̕͝=̷͔̬̭̫͆̾3̴̤̳̭̀͂̐f̷̺̗͓̼͋̏͘͝

[the-devils-dozen]

Ah this is so real. I've always felt like my life went by quickly and then realized it's because in total I'm missing years from my life, and even memories I do have feel so distant and unreal that my life constantly feels like I've only been living for the past few months and that my life is just some distant made-up backstory.

One of the heartbreaking things about DID is feeling like you haven’t actually lived a life due to amnesia. I know it’s not necessarily a bad thing and it’s for our protection but having a handful of half-second memories from the beginning to now that are super blurry and practically useless doesn’t feel like having lived. They all feel like stories we’ve been told our entire lives that we don’t actually remember, we just know that they happened. All these snippets are sewn together end to end and there’s no in between, it made time go by way too fast and now I’m 23. I’m going to blink and I’ll be 30. I don’t know, it’s just bothering me more today sorry y’all

[un-mei-no-akai-ito]

[thymos-00]

[the-devils-dozen]

Literally a large part of why I don't tell people in our real life about our diagnosis is because it feels like I'm lying to them somehow.

[nochkoroleva]

[tornasseungiorno]

🌩️

[the-devils-dozen]

Never heard this term but we have this a ton, we get a lot of passive influence so ig that's part of it. Emotional bleed sounds about right for what we experience

y’all emotional bleed w/ did is actually so annoying like I hate when I feel awful all of the sudden and I can’t place it then I realize it’s an alter and there’s like.. nothing I can do about it? like i feel really anxious and nauseous and I do not know where this alter is/what I can do for them so. ahggggghhh

[the-devils-dozen]

Question to others with OSDD/DID:

Is it possible/common to have more than one gatekeeper? Why would that be necessary? Just wondering if others have any experience with this.

Edited to say that I'd actually like to hear people's experience with gatekeepers in general, I was looking into it more and I was realizing I might have some misunderstandings about what this role is or how it can vary from system to system.

[lediciassetteequattrominuti]

[illsadboy]

[moody-hummingbird]

Le persone tristi hanno un qualcosa di poetico.

[frammenti--di--cuore]

spero di essere per sempre il tuo "vado da lei, perché so che lei capirà" in ogni situazione della tua vita, qualsiasi cosa accada.

ieri, oggi, sempre, zoe

[thymos-00]

[nochkoroleva]

[chiaracomeilsole-99]

Non so mai decidere che cosa sia meglio

Però mi dispiace, in ogni caso I don't need you