#-WANT TO FUCKING CRY because i need to IMPROVE but i was so stressed out about the actual road test and fucking it up that i started having

[lighthouseas]

alright guys that's it im never driving again

[us-the-voices-and-more-voices-2]

I don’t know who need to hear this.

but if highschool, college, university, or just anything like that is stressing you out to the point of suicidal thoughts and tendencies

you just have to quit, there’s nothing wrong with it.

your life is worth so much more than stupid grades or a degree.

for all the people in highschool who were always told “if you don’t do high school you will never get into college/university” I’m so fucking sorry but those people were lying their fucking asses off.

you don’t need a highschool education to get into shit, hell it’s mostly about the money. Knowledge is awesome and valuable but it’s not worth killing yourself for.

don’t burn out in highschool literally this is not even a fucking joke it DOES NOT MATTER fuck highschool.

grades are a sham, the education system is flawed as hell, and your life IS WORTH MORE THAN A 100%/A+

your life is worth so much more than that, grades don’t matter you’ll hurt yourself so much if you keep thinking that.

you can homeschool, you can become a apprentice, you can learn well anything you want online now! You can call up a local science teacher and ask them to tutor you, HELL! do whatever it takes to keep your life and your love for knowledge.

school sucks, I know too many people to say otherwise. Your feelings are valid you ARE NOT A FAILURE for not doing amazing at your homework or at school fuck anyone who says that!

genuinely those fuckers don’t know shit about anything, learning is mistakes and failures and learning FROM IT if you never got a chance to try again how is it your fault you didn’t improve?

don’t kill yourself over school that is such a stupid thing to do, you can quit school and still get a education!!!! people just want you to stay in school and get abused and stressed to death.

I taught myself so much, because the current ways we teach people fucking sucks ass.

remember the grades and numbers and all that shit does not matter, what matters is that you love learning things and you keep learning.

I will fucking slap you dead ass in the face if you say anything more, if your family is abusive and you have to be a high achiever? WELL still don’t fucking kill yourself over their dumb fuck obsession with you being “good at school” there’s no such thing as winning and losing at learning!!!!!!!!

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS WINNING OR LOSING IN LEARNING!

genuinely there’s no such thing! You just don’t get it the first time! But learning and education is about love for knowledge it’s about kindness and respect it’s about finding new things it’s about being happy and knowing things you never did before!

it’s not about you “failing” it’s about learning that’s fucking it.

don’t kill yourself over the modern education system take fucking strikes, advocate for no time limits, advocate for better mental healthcare, advocate and SCREAM protest against it all.

your life is worth living, your life is beautiful and you have done everything to deserve it, you are someone is is worth something, and I will listen and we will fight.

you will get to the next day you will get to the next one after that you will live happily even if you think it’s impossible.

you will and you will love you will cry and you will see and dream and live a life YOU want.

abolish school, and we will make a new system that isn’t fucking what it was!

you are worth so much more than grades and papers, so don’t think so hard about it. You are you and you are worth it <3

-sincerely your local suicidal fucker

[tfyoulookingatgiuxs]

Gameboy

Billy Hargrove x NonBinary!Reader

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: You didn't think the day could get any worse than this, but apparently you were wrong. tired from work, you came home and had to endure the shouting of your boyfriend and his little sister Maxine. Billy was going too far and you had enough.

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: +18 MDNI!! angst, blurb, very bad language, argue, broke-up, sigarettes, threats, intimidation, use of Y/N, no prounons NonBinary!Reader, theme about sex, theme about violence, anger issue, daddy issue, toxic relationship, bad ending. (Please be careful what you are about to read, the themes here are quite heavy and with a bad ending. If you don't feel like it, don't read, thanks)

𝐀/𝐍: My first Billy Hargrove One-Shot. I have to say that he's a character i dont have much interest to be honest, but if you want me to do more one-shots about Billy let me know! Please support new writers and reblog! Im sorry for my english, this is not my native language. Hope you enjoy! (DIVIDER NOT MINE)

Fuck, fuck and fuck! You thought in your head when you wanted to scream. You had just left the bar where you worked and you could tell you had had a rough day. Your boss didn't stop tormenting you, by now you seriously thought he was mad at you. But that doesn't mean you stopped trying, moving forward and taking criticism and then improving yourself, but despite this the people around you seem bad every day.

You didn't have to think about it. Absolutely not! Now you would have gone to your boyfriend's house and he will surely console you, tell you that everything will be fine–wait...no. Absolutely not. You haven't done these things for almost two months because of your full-time job and the constant evenings where Billy went out, obviously not caring that you needed him. You tried to talk to him a couple of times to find out if something was wrong but he only answered "I'm fine, we're fine, why are you asking me?" You seriously started to think if you were the crazy one or if tiredness was playing a bad joke on you. Billy seemed calm and sees nothing wrong with your relationship. You didn't say anything. You knew the issues Billy was going through with his father lately, so you let it go and once again agreed with him, and blamed it on the stress.

You got to his door before you even knocked and Billy opened it angrily, which scared you. As soon as he noticed you he took a breath and gave you a simple "Hi" before letting you inside. It often happened that you went to sleep at your boyfriend's house, especially when his father wasn't there. As soon as you entered you felt a certain tension in the air and saw Billy take his jacket from the coat rack. You were about to ask something but the boy with golden curls beat you to it "Leave Max alone, that little bitch won't come out of her fucking room until I say so" With that I left the house slamming the door.

Right from him. He doesn't even tell you where he's going or with whom.

Apparently he had argued with Maxine, his younger sister. You completely ignored what Billy said to you and went to Max's door. You could clearly hear that she was crying and that hurts you. Since you met Max she has always seen you as a second parent: kind, helpful, affectionate and above all loving. You were happy to have this relationship with her and when she happened to argue with her brother, you couldn't help but go and console her or try to resolve the situation. Before knocking you looked around, the house was a real mess, or rather a disaster, all of Billy's things scattered everywhere, starting with: weights, ashtrays, porn magazines and gameboys. Shit...

You still don't understand how you managed to fall in love with an imbecile like him. So handsome with those curls and shining face but also so arrogant, messy and not very polite. You gently knocked on the door “Max, it's me Y/N, can I come in?” You heard the little girl sniff and she agreed. You opened the door and found Maxine in tears and her face completely red from the outburst. Her pillow was wet while her cleres were a shade of red from crying. She was lying on the bed and as soon as she saw you, her breath seemed to come back. You sat next to her while you used your fingers to fix some strands of her red hair.

"Maxine...what happened?" You said almost whispering. It took her a while to answer you but in the end she did "Dad...a little while ago he was here and he was arguing with Billy," she began "I didn't know what they were arguing about but then he started hitting him.. ." Her tone was shaky as she tried to collect herself "Did Dad hit Billy?" You asked and she nodded “Yes, the asshole” okay, you got the point. “I stopped him but after mom and the asshole left, Billy started yelling at me” you raised an eyebrow “Why on earth?” The question of when might be obvious seemed difficult for Max to answer. “I don't know for sure, he just told me that I shouldn't meddle in his business” you hugged her and she immediately hugged you back.

“I'll talk to him, I promise” You said and Max looked up immediately. "No Y/N, don't do it. He's too angry and I don't want him to be angry at you too" you smiled at his sweet thought towards you. Max was now like a little sister or a daughter to protect for you, you wouldn't have let Maxine spend the evening locked in her room even though she hadn't done anything "Don't worry about me, I can handle your brother" Oh well, knowing how to handle Billy Hargrove was a big word, but that didn't stop you from consoling Max and preparing her some snacks to stop her crying.

You laughed and joked and Max had finally regained her smile and as if you were a good parent you put a blanket over her while you turned off the light, leaving Max to sleep peacefully. After at least fifteen minutes, Billy came home with a bottle of beer in his hand, you snorted at the sight. You had been waiting for him all evening and you would have at least hoped that for once he wouldn't come back drunk although he seemed quite sober.

"Where have you been?" You asked as you crossed your arms over your chest. He looked at you with a face that got on your nerves, he was bored.

"I asked you, where have you been" You repeated and he made a small moan and then replied "Outside for some fresh air" You didn't want to ask why he was drunk, you had gotten used to it by now so you let it go. Meanwhile he had thrown his jacket on the sofa.

"Why did you and Maxine argue?" Billy turned to look at you. He sat comfortably on the living room sofa bare-chested while he was ready to light his cigarette which he held between his lips. "Where's Max?" He asked "In her room to sleep after you made her cry" his face didn't change a bit, he was serious and definitely bored "Y/N, I specifically told you to leave Max alone, she was supposed to stay in her room " you nodded "In fact, she stayed in the room, but I kept her company" He let out a laugh and then looked back at your figure "You shouldn't have interacted with her" you shook your head "I'm sorry Billy, but I don't stay at your rules" at that statement he took the cigarette out of his mouth "I just want to know why you picked on her, you know I don't like seeing you or your sister like this"

"It's none of your business. What happens here is none of your business Y/N" you were shocked "Excuse me? You're my boyfriend, what happens to you is a fact that until proven otherwise concerns me too" You took a few steps closer towards the sofa. Billy giggled again and you were sure that the next one he would make would drive you mad "And let's hear, why on earth?" You gave an obvious look "Um, hello? We're engaged Billy, engaged!" You timed the last word well "Oh right, I forgot" he said it in a sarcastic way and now your nerves were getting frayed "Oh, I'm sorry this is weighing on you Billy" you too played the sarcasm card and he rolled his eyes "What the fuck Y/N! Now I have to tell you everything I do?" You nodded quickly "Yes, you piss me off that I have to tell you where I'm going, with who and why otherwise you'll ban me from going out" You almost screamed but then lowered your voice remembering Max in the other room.

Billy had lit his cigarette in the meantime "But that has nothing to do with it -" you stopped him while your blood was boiling "It certainly has something to do with it William!" Your eyes were different, they were like Billy had never seen them and when you used his real name he understood that you were seriously pissed. Billy hates being called by his real name and you knew it very well, you did it on purpose. You wanted him to understand how serious you were and how tired you were of the current situation.

“How dare you call me?” Even though he was drunk, Billy was high and his eyes were fixed on you as they gave you a horrible feeling. They wanted to intimidate you, but you weren't like that and he knew it from the first moment he met you. Even if you were afraid that he would knock your teeth out and then make you spill all your blood until you apologized, but you were brave and you wouldn't let yourself be bossed around.

You pointed your finger at him "Oh no! Don't try to make that angry dick face because I'm the angry one, you understand?" He was surprised by your arrogant response "Things have been going on like this for two months and I can't stand it anymore. You barely look at me, all you do is go out in the evening and you don't even tell me where you're going, but you do it when you're too drunk to drive and I have to pick you up" You started and he looked like he was listening intently "And this happens every Friday night Billy. I come home from work tired and destroyed by those filthy pieces of shit and instead being close to me all you do is complain" He snorted and now gave you a different look. He put the cigarette in the ashtray, even though he hadn't smoked it at all. He seemed calm and approached you smiling lovingly... was it the alcohol by any chance? Or maybe bipolar?

"Okay honey, you're right. I'm sorry, now how about we go relax over there–" you pushed him. You were disappointed. His response disgusted you more than expected "No Billy. You won't play your fucking game on me telling me I'm right when in reality you just want to take me to bed and fuck me the way you like it" his face was back and angry more than first "But apparently the other times you didn't hesitate to open your legs for me" it was cheeky and disgusting and you slapped him. You had become a burning fire and you were sure that you would burn him and his house down "Because I was blinded by a filthy imbecile asshole like you. I thought you loved me..." You felt the burning in your eyes as your eyes became shiny. You were too weak to face the truth but you needed it...as much as you loved that boy with all your heart, he would never love you "Oh so now it's me not loving you?" He said dramatically and the tears came out and this time you screamed "Billy, you never console me and only seek me out when you feel like having sex with me. What did you take me for? A toy? I'm your fucking gameboy by any chance?" He tried to answer but couldn't find the right words and blurted out "Shut your mouth" your nervous system was out of control and you raised your voice again "Not this time Billy! Not after I've opened and closed it as you please!"

Now you didn't care who could hear you or who you would disturb. You were tired. You didn't want this. You wanted a serious relationship with a serious person. You wanted someone who values ​​you and takes care of you when you need it, always available and who doesn't see you as a sex toy giving you false illusions. "Calm down, young lady! Show respect" you looked at him and in front of you you had another person. Not Billy Hargrove, but William Hargrove...the real him. Despite everything he was that and you were sorry for ruining yourself by being around him. You didn't think he would ever threaten you, an attitude you hated and hoped your boyfriend wouldn't attribute to "Wow...now you're threatening me?" Billy later realized what he said and didn't reply "Congratulations Billy Hargorve. You ruined my life. You made fun of me and took advantage of me and used me to please your cock when it got hard and needy. But worse…you became your father” you never thought you would say it, but you did. With that sentence you knew you would unleash his anger and you didn't give him time to react "It's over." You announced and then headed towards the door and exited the house as he yelled after you in anger. You didn't want to hear it or deal with it ever again. You had endured enough and it was time to end it.

You had ended a year-long relationship and you now ask yourself in tears as you walked quickly to your house as you had done. You didn't know that obviously. You will never understand, you loved him, what did you need to know or realize? As beautiful and magical as love could be, it was also blind and cruel. It seemed to be a difficult game where the only possibility of victory was to survive until the game itself got tired of testing you, and then it throws a truth in your face that you would rather ignore. But ultimately it was better to suffer for the truth than to live in something that didn't exist.

Now you needed to get up and continue to live your life but you weren't motivated to move forward and live like you did before working, especially now that the only person you loved was just a liar who loved playing with people's feelings and what's more he preferred masturbating to porn magazines than spending sweet moments with you. Would you have suffered? Yes. And you don't know for how long, but you hoped for little since you couldn't cry and dry up your tears for someone who never deserved you and who the only thing he ever worshiped was your body.

[booboodaddysblog]

I want to touch you again…

Part two

Warnings: smut, public sex, unprotected sex, p in v, sex in the car, kissing, doubts, talking, crying, emotional

Words: 3990

- Colin?

It was late in the evening. Marg decided to check how Colin was feeling after lunch today.

- Yes? - Colin looked up from his desk and saw Marg who was standing in the doorway to his office.

- I just wanted to ask how you were feeling.

- Oh... yes, yes... I really feel great... - he covered his face with his hands and sighed loudly - sorry, but I was lost in thought... I think I'm already tired - he looked at her again - do you have something for me? - he noticed that she was holding a mug in her hand.

- Yeah… I… yes, coffee - she placed the steaming drink on his desk.

He took a sip of coffee and immediately felt the effects of the caffeine. Although he still hasn't recovered from a slight hangover.

- Thanks Nour... but aren't you here for something else?

Marg looked at him sad and confused.

- Colin… did you just call me Nour?

- Wait...

Colin now realized what he had said. He had called her Nour instead of her real name. This was unlike him. Too many thoughts in his head.

- Oh... I... yes, I... - he was stuttering, not really knowing what to say - fuck…

- Colin? Why did you call me like that? I know you like my friend Nour, and you fucked her, but… you’re thinking about her now? - Marg came closer to his desk.

Colin was beginning to panic, realizing that he had just screwed up his situation with his minor stumble. He was now in full panic mode and felt overwhelmed by the current situation.

- Oh... no... no... no, sorry, I... I don't know why I said that... it's just... I'm probably really tired and I'm talking shit - he said, trying to get out of the hole he had just dug.

- I just don’t know what to say… - Marg looked at her hands - I thought you only think about me, because I’m yours… I’m pregnant with your baby. So I thought I’m the only one woman who is in your head and heart - she looked at him again waiting for an answer.

- Oh no... Nour is not in my head and heart... I just thought about her for a while... it was probably because of our earlier conversation. That's why I accidentally said her name... I did not want to mention her name... - he shook his head with dissatisfaction - you are the only person in my heart and head.... Nour is just a nice person and we together... you know... but it's all just physical stuff. I don't have any emotional attachment or any kind of love for her.

- I really want to believe you.

- You can believe me - he said with a little more conviction.

This situation was quite stressful and he felt bad about having to explain himself to her. He wanted her to simply believe him and see that he was serious. But he understood that this was not easy for her, due to their quarrels in the relationship recently. He tried to explain it somehow, he didn't want any problems caused by miscommunication.

- Because… baby, I’m… I know we have bad time now. We need to talk about this more and… I just want you to focus more on me and our baby - she looked at him with sad eyes - If not… I’m sorry but… I’ll better to be a single mother.

- Of course I will. I've already said that I know I've made some mistakes lately and that I will improve. I'm sorry I made you feel that way. You shouldn't feel this way...

He felt sadness at the thought that she could become a single mother if their problems continued. He didn't want her to be alone, he wanted to at least have some kind of relationship with her throughout the pregnancy, and he wanted to be with her for their baby.

- Colin, one question. This is really important to me - she was quiet for few seconds - do you still love me? Okay two questions. Do you still want this child?

- I love you... a lot, yeah... and I want this child more than anything in the world, I promise you...

He seemed adamant about this. He wanted her to know that he was the most honest he had ever been. He wanted the child to be able to have two parents by his side. He wanted to be able to raise this child with her and be able to give it everything that he himself had never really gotten in life.

- Okay then… at this moment I trust you and your words. It’s just a second month of my pregnancy… if everything works out between us until baby came to this world. I’ll be with you. But remember this is the last chance - she sighed - if not, Colin… I’m too tired to be with you. With person who doesn’t know what he wants. I want peace in my life.

He nodded his head as a sign that he understood her words.

- I still wanted to say that I'm going home soon. So if you want... you can come with me. I will drive you home.

- Oh... sure... I'd be happy to take your suggestion. I don't want to take a cab back again. Thank you - he smiled at her.

She puts her hand on the door handle.

-See you later - she smiled - I love you, Colin.

She lived him alone and left his office. She closed the doors behind her.

- I love you too, Marg.

He felt relieved because they were able to find some common understanding. Even if she was still angry with him, he felt more like they were on the same side. And he hoped that they could continue in this way until the baby was born. He wanted her to be happy and for her pregnancy to be stress-free.

————

Marg sat in the car and waited for Colin. She sighed deeply and rolled her eyes when she finally saw him leave the police station. He walked to the car and sat in the passenger seat.

- What took you so long? I've been sitting like some fool in the car for half an hour waiting for you.

- I had to clean up the documents, and as I was leaving the office I inadvertently tripped over a flower pot and spilled soil and....

Marg waved her hand in front of his eyes to stop talking.

- Keep quiet and stop making excuses. It was a rhetorical question.

She started the car and headed out of the parking lot toward Colin's house.

They drove in silence. Colin closed his eyes and leaned his head against the headrest of the seat. Marg glanced at him from time to time. He looked really exhausted. She wasn't feeling well either.

She parked outside his house and stroked his cheek to wake him up.

- Colin? We are already there. Wake up.

He mumbled something, but finally opened his eyes.

- Oh... I had a dream - he rubbed his eyes with his hands.

- What kind of dream?

- Hmm... we were in a very interesting situation together - he looked at her uncertainly.

- In what situation? - she asked more and more curious.

- It was... it was... really warm, even hot.

- Oh…

- Marg, may I kiss you? For a good night's sleep? Please.

- Of course - she leaned toward him waiting for a kiss.

He kissed her lightly and gently. He was in no hurry to interrupt this pleasant rapprochement. He touched her face and stroked her cheek. Marg murmured quietly. He moved his hand further and entangled his fingers in her hair. He pulled her closer to him. His other arm went around her waist.

- Colin? - she muttered into his mouth.

- Yes?

- You make me hungry.

- Hungry?

- Yes…

- What are you in the mood for?

- You, Colin.

- Marg… we…

- Colin! I want to fuck you in the back seat of this car! Now!

Colin's heart skipped a beat as he contemplated Marg's bold proposal, and the sudden surge of excitement was tempered by a lingering sense of unease. He looked around nervously, wondering if someone might overhear their conversation.

- Are you sure this is a good idea? - he asked hesitantly, trying to hide his growing desire behind a veil of concern for her well-being and current condition - What if someone sees us? We might get caught...

His words hung in the air between them, underscored by an undeniable undertone of longing that neither of them could deny.

- Yes! I’m sure! - she clenched her fist on his shirt in an attempt to pull him toward her.

Colin hesitated for a moment, torn between his duty to protect Marg and his burning desire to satisfy her every whim.

He finally relented with a sigh of resignation, knowing that resistance would be futile in the face of her unwavering determination.

- All right - he admitted reluctantly - but we need to find some secluded place. I don't want anyone to catch us.

His eyes roamed the area in search of the perfect spot, one that offered both privacy and comfort. Luckily, he spotted a dimly lit alley just behind a row of parked cars, whose shady corners provided ample cover from prying eyes.

- Drive there, please - he pointed with his hand in the direction to go.

Marg sighed loudly and started the car. She drove in the designated direction. She stopped the car and looked at him.

- Yes, perfect, now let’s fuck in the car!

Colin quickly locked the door. His heart pounded with impatience as he saw Marg move to the back seat.

Once they were safely in the back of the vehicle, he wasted no time in reaching for her, drawing her to him with a sudden passion that contradicted his earlier hesitation. In one swift motion, he unbuttoned her blouse, exposing her lacy bra to his hungry gaze.

Letting out a low murmur of approval, he cupped her breasts gently in his hands, then leaned down to capture a ruddy nipple between his lips.

Her soft moans filled the interior of the car as he sucked hungrily on her flesh, his fingers deftly unbuttoning her jeans so he could slide them down over her hips.

Marg wriggled beneath him, desperately craving more contact, even as she struggled to maintain control over her rapidly growing desires.

- Yes, Colin! This is what I needed! And I was waiting for so long! - she moaned loudly.

Feeling emboldened by Marg's enthusiastic reaction, he continued exploring her body with renewed vigor.

Moving his hand lower, he slid it under the waistband of her panties and found her slippery entrance, already wet and ready for him.

With a groan of satisfaction, he plunged two fingers deep inside her, eliciting a sharp cry of pleasure from the woman beside him.

He smiled willy-nilly as he began pumping them in and out, matching the rhythm of their hot kisses while his thumb wound circles around her swollen clit.

Despite his best intentions to take things slowly, he felt himself losing control, consumed by the raw passion that burned like wildfire between them. As Marg arched her back, seeking release from the exquisite torment building in her loins, Colin knew there was no turning back now. Without warning, he withdrew his fingers from her depths and lay on top of her trembling body, his swollen member at the entrance to paradise.

- Are you sure about this? - he muttered in a hoarse voice, barely able to contain his raging desire.

But even as the words left his mouth, he knew the answer no longer mattered.

She just moaned loudly.

Unable to resist any longer, Colin moved forward with a throaty moan, sinking up to his balls in Marg's welcoming warmth.

Her nails dug into his shoulders as she screamed in ecstasy, her body arching upward to meet each powerful thrust of his hips.

He could feel her inner walls pulsing around him, drawing him deeper and deeper into her embrace as she rode the crest of a wave of orgasm that threatened to engulf them both completely.

Lost in the heat of passion, Colin gave himself over to the moment, letting instinct and desire guide his actions as he once again took ownership of her willing body.

Their uneven breaths mingled in the confined space of the car, punctuated by the sound of skin hitting skin and occasional curses or whispered pleas for mercy. And yet, despite the intensity of their connection, there remained an underlying tension, a nagging doubt that cast a shadow over their not-so-perfect relationship.

- "What will happen next?" - Colin wondered fleetingly, even as he relished the sheer physicality of their shared experience - "Will we ever be able to return to normal?"

- Oh my god! Colin, don't slow down! Push me harder!

At Marg's insistence, Colin redoubled his efforts, thrusting into her with a ferocity that made them both gasp for air.

His hands gripped her hips tightly, clinging her to him while he thrust relentlessly into her, his own climax building up inside him like a gathering storm.

Despite the growing pressure in his groin, he forced himself to hold back, determined to prolong their mutual pleasure as long as possible.

But even as he tried to maintain control over his body's primal urges, he couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong.

- "Why does it feel so wrong?" - his thoughts kept him guessing.

- Honey, I'm so close! Oh my God! - she had no control over her body.

As Marg's screams grew louder and more frantic, Colin sensed that she was on the verge of release. His own excitement reached a new level as he watched her writhing beneath him, her body trembling with impatience.

With a final surge of energy, he increased the pace of his thrusts. Each one pushed her closer to the edge until finally, with a stifled scream, she collapsed around him in a blinding flash of ecstasy.

Her inner walls clenched tightly against his shaft, unleashing his own explosive climax almost instantly.

He threw his head back and roared triumphantly, emptying himself deep inside her with a force that left him weak and breathless.

For several long moments, neither of them spoke, content to simply wallow in the glow of their passionate encounter. But in the end, reality came down on them like an icy shower, reminding them both of the hard truth they had so desperately tried to ignore.

- We can't go on like this. I don't know if this was a good idea - whispered Colin into her neck.

Marg looked confused at the headliner of the car.

- What do you mean, Colin?

He rose and noticed that Marg was staring at him with confusion etched on her face. He realized that he needed to clarify his thoughts before they got out of hand.

- What I mean - he began slowly - is that we can't pretend that everything is fine between us - he sighed heavily, combing his hand through his tousled hair, trying to gather his scattered thoughts - our relationship has been strained for months, and this... this doesn't help.

- But... I want to start again, baby... I love you more than you can imagine... I want to be with you! I need you! - she felt she wanted to cry.

Colin's heart fluttered at the sight of Marg's impassioned declaration, but he knew that words alone would not solve their problems. They needed action, concrete steps towards healing and rebuilding their broken relationship.

- Look, I love you too, Marg, but we can't just sweep everything under the rug and expect it to go away - he took her hand in his, squeezing gently as he continued - we need to address the issues that brought us here in the first place, the breakdown in communication, the trust issues...

- I know, I know I made some mistakes… I mean you did… but I’m here to help you. I want to help you with your drinking problem. I want you to be healthy and happy. I want us to be happy together, again. What do you say? - she looked at him with hope in her eyes.

While he appreciated her concern, he couldn't help wondering if this was another attempt to sweep their deeper problems under the rug.

- Thanks for your support, Marg, but I think it would be better if I talk to a professional about my drinking habits - he hesitated for a moment before adding quietly - and as for being happy together...

- Go on, Colin.

Colin hesitated, unsure how to express his feelings without hurting Marg further.

- I don't want to give up on us, but we need time to sort everything out. We've been stuck in this cycle of bickering and reconciliation for too long now - his voice faltered slightly as he continued - maybe when we both have some time to breathe and reflect, we can come back together stronger than ever.

- You want a break? Again?! - she was beginning to feel anger mixed with crying. Her hormones began to take control of her.

Colin saw a grimace of hurt and anger appear on Marg's face. He immediately regretted not choosing his words more carefully. He reached out to gently touch her shoulder, hoping to express his sincerity in this way.

- No, I don't want a break exactly... but maybe we need to take a step back from each other for a while - his expression softened as he looked into her eyes - it's not about giving up on us, it's about giving ourselves a chance to heal and grow as individuals so that we can be better partners for each other when we get back together.

- But... Colin, I'm pregnant... I don't want to be alone now, again. I've been alone for too long, without you. It was so hard for me.

- Oh God, Marg... I'm so sorry - he pulled her close, feeling the weight of their future together.

Their lives were about to change forever, and he couldn't imagine going through it without her by his side.

- Yes, you hurt me so much!

- Yes, I know... I know - he whispered into her hair.

His head spun slightly, but he knew that now was not the time for selfish thoughts. They had a baby on the way and needed to focus on building a stable environment for their family.

He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down.

- We will make it, Marg. We will fix it. Together we will figure out how to deal with these challenges.

- That's why I need you close to me. I don't want you to sit in the bar and drink. I want you to be by my side.

Colin nodded, understanding the seriousness of her request. He knew he had to curb his drinking habits for the sake of their growing family.

- You're right, I shouldn't be spending so much time at the bar - he sighed heavily, realizing how difficult it would be to break these old patterns - I promise to cut down on my drinking and focus on being present for you and our baby.

- I’ll help you to find a good specialist to help you with your problem - she kissed him on the cheek.

- Thank you, Marg. Having someone who believes in me makes all the difference.

- Yes, you must be strong for our baby, for our family.

- Our child deserves the best version of me - he squeezed her hand tightly, resolving to face all challenges with courage and conviction - together we will build a loving and supportive home for our little one.

- Okay enough of this talk. I'm cold, I could use some clothes - she laughed, pulling herself out of his grasp.

As they searched for clothes in the car, Colin couldn't shake the feeling that they had crossed the line today. Although he longed for closeness with Marg, he knew that their actions were driven by longing and desperation.

- Let's get dressed and try to forget about it for the time being - he helped her gather the scattered clothes, hoping they could salvage the remnants of their dignity - we need to focus on moving forward together, not dwell on mistakes made under the influence of the moment.

- So sex in the car was a mistake? I don't think so! It was wonderful!

Colin hesitated, not knowing how to answer. On the one hand, he shared the passion and desire during their meeting, on the other hand, he realized that their actions were impulsive.

- While it may have been wonderful at the time, I think we need to be honest with ourselves about why we acted the way we did - he looked her honestly in the eyes, wanting her to understand his point of view - we were both vulnerable and desperate. This is not a healthy foundation for intimacy. Let's strive for a deeper bond based on trust and respect, not just physical attraction.

- It's true, but I'm not complaining one bit. I want to do it again.... one day.

- Marg, I can hear you loud and clear. I know you want to be close to me. But right now we need to focus on healing our emotional wounds and rebuilding trust between us - he sighed loudly - when the time is right, I promise we will share moments like this again. Just not until we work through everything else first.

- Shut up! You're acting like a serious detective again. Be yourself, Colin! I want my Colin back!

- You are right. Sometimes I get carried away with trying to fix everything and end up losing sight of what's really important - he put his arms around her, pulling her close - from now on, let's promise each other that we will put our relationships above everything else. And yes, that includes playing together - he laughed.

- Oh, this is what I mean!

He hesitated for a moment before speaking up.

- Will you spend the night with me in my bed tonight? - he asked hesitantly.

- Okay, why not! - she smiled broadly.

Feeling relieved that his mood had improved, Colin smiled at Marg. He knew they still had a long way to go, but for now it was important to enjoy each other's company and strengthen the bond.

- Let's go home and spend some time together. Maybe watch a movie or just talk about anything that comes to mind. No pressure, no expectations, just being ourselves.

He kissed her gently on the forehead, hoping to reassure her of his commitment to making things right between them.

- Yes, let’s go home. I need a shower - she laughed and kissed him.

As they walked toward home, Colin couldn't help but feel a new sense of hope for their relationship. He knew they had challenges ahead, but he was determined to overcome them with her.

- I'll join you in the shower, if you don't mind the company - he suggested jokingly.

- Sure, feel free to join me. You don't have to be a good boy - she laughed.

———

@robnovetre

Part one

[eris-snow]

𝐓𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐀 𝐁𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤

Tags: bakugou x gn!reader, fluff, comfort, crying, swearing (as usual)

Been feeling a little inferior to those around me lately. It's something I'm sure we can all relate to, so I hope this brings comfort to those who feel like they're never good enough. Katsuki Bakugou is surprisingly good as a comfort character.

Today was just not your day. You've had these days. The ones when you would feel like you were about to cave inward. The days that you feel your strong front collapse because of the stress and pressure you exert on yourself.

Today isn't any different. Everyone in your class is constantly testing the limits, sky-rocketing past boundaries, while you...well, you...

You're just learning how to grow and improve. U.A. is a school where you need to aim for the top if you don't want to be left behind. Because of this, you feel like you're slipping further and further behind in class.

Momo is good at academics. Shoto is good at combat. Everyone is improving while you're trying so hard not to seem like a failure.

You're not bad, per se. But just seeing your classmates overcome their own boundaries and overtake you sow seeds of deep insecurity in your heart.

Today, was the day something finally snaps.

Bakugou comes over to help you study, armed with assessment books and dons thinned-rimmed glasses that make him look more intelligent and more mature. He still yells, mind you.

Every time you get a question wrong, he screams his head off while pointing out where you went wrong. He waits for you to solve the problem, and if you get it wrong again, the cycle continues. Rinse and repeat.

It got to the point when you were on the brink of tears, drawing a shaky breath as Bakugou eyeballed you write your equations with a quivering hand. You knew you'd asked for his help, even mentally fortressed yourself to focus on what you can do to improve, but...

"Dumbass, come on! This problem's fucking easy, an idiot like you can handle it!" Bakugou barks.

It's a final nudge over the delicately crafted wall that blocks out your emotions. A droplet of sorrow weasels its way past your defences, and your dam breaks.

Tears of helplessness flood your eyes as they splatter on your paper, your shaky hand pausing as you attempt to control these overwhelming feelings of inferiority gushing out.

Bakugou's still here, he can see everything, you scream at yourself...but your tears can't stop flowing. You just sit there, frozen, with tears streaming down your face and a trembling hand clutching your pencil so hard it could break.

Bakugou practically reels at the sight of you crying.

"I-I'm so sorry, Bakugou, I just," You sniffled, nose getting clogged up. "It's just...I-give me a minute," Grabbing a couple of tissues, you hastily blow your nose, trying to salvage the scrapes of dignity you have left.

"W-We can continue now, I just-" You try to clear your voice, or at least stable it to some degree. "That was just-"

"Fuck work, Y/n," He states bluntly, noticeably calling you by your first name. He tosses the book off your desk, slams his glasses on it and spins your chair to face him. "What, in the name of everloving hell is going on? Nah, don't shake that pretty little head of yours. Don't you lie to me," He snarls, words softening. "You're going through shit and you're clearly struggling, so What. Is. It."

A new round of tears hit your eyes as you choke back a sob. "I just-" Your voice is barely coherent now. Your watery eyes meet his, and it makes your breath hitch.

Bakugou's eyes were glowing with genuine care. Under those piercing, vermilion-red eyes, you can see his raw intentions laid bare.

He cares.

The words spill from your mouth as you babble, forcing yourself to admit the things you've wanted to hide, deny or avoid this entire term.

How you spent the entire lesson on Mathematics just barely grasping the teacher's words.

How hard you've been working.

How everything you do or try still makes it seem your improvement rate is put on the lowest setting of a slow-moving conveyor belt.

And Bakugou just...listens. He sits there patiently with an attentive gaze, each word you say making his eyes gaze softer and softer until it reeks of empathy for you.

He lets you explain how you feel, and doesn't say a word as you stuff your face with tissues and strewn them on the ground.

"You done?" He asks gruffly when you stop talking, making you nod your head vigorously at him. His eyes narrow on you, "Good,"

In a flash, he stands up and grabs you, pulling you into his embrace as he wraps his warm, comforting arms around you.

"Now listen here, Y/n," He says, voice hushed but holding conviction. "I'll say this once and I'll say it until it gets into that thick skull of yours. You have no right to work yourself down that hard. I don't care what words you're branding yourself as inside that blasted mind of yours, but you are not a failure."

He takes a deep breath and continues. "You are fucking incredible no matter how stupid you think you are, and you're already working even harder than most extras in our level. So can you please stop hurting my Y/n and realise how amazing you really are?"

Your breath catches.

My Y/n.

You must be going deaf or something. There's no way in a million years that he'd call you that.

"Bakugou-"

"Say it."

"I-I-" You bury your head into his shoulder, stumbling over the embarrassingly confident words he described you with. "I'm not a failure," Your voice wobbles. Bakugou raises an eyebrow. "And?"

"I'm fucking incredible." You say, heat rushing to your cheeks.

You both pull away as you wipe your tears away. Bakugou cracks a satisfied grin. "Good. Now screw this shit, we're getting a tub of ice cream in here. You need a goddamn break."

He doesn't fix your problems magically overnight. But that caramel ice cream is a sinful treat as Bakugou makes you take a nap right after the tub is finished.

It's the best sleep you've had in months.

--

When Kirishima hears about this the next day, he is adamently shocked that the both of you can so boldly claim that you're still "just friends".

Katsuki Bakugou is truly, a fucking idiot.

[2-fast-2-curious]

Soccer Audios

Trent Alexander Arnold

[M4F] Do me a favour [SI][Gentle Mdom][Sweet][Denial][Tiny bit of edging]

Jude Bellingham

[M4F] Don't Squat. Don't Hover. Park that Pussy.

Grind Your Pussy Into My Thigh

[M4F] I need you. Every inch of you.

[M4F] Work husband comforts and doms you after a rude customer makes you cry

Cho Gue-Sung

[M4F] A Little Help For Recording

Ruben Dias

[M4F] I Wish I Could Drive You Crazy With The Sound Of My Voice

Pablo Gavi

[M4F] I come home after a stressful exam and I cum for you.

Jack Grealish

[M4F] [Improv] Massaging Your Clit With My Tongue

Erling Haaland

[M4F] [Request Fill] Professional athlete celebrating a win

Jordan Henderson

[M4F] The Hotel

Zlatan Ibrahimovic

M4F] [Script Fill] Insomnia

Kylian M'bappe

[M4F] We'll always have Paris

Lionel Messi

[M4F] Rainy Days are Made for Cuddling

Luka Modric

[M4F] Pavlov's Pussy

Mason Mount

[M4F] Blowing off Steam

[M4F] Good Morning Babygirl

Neymar Jr

[M4F]Getting off and talking about fucking you in the couch

Christian Pulisic

[M4F] You're Not Going To Work Today, Because Your Boyfriend Said So

Sergio Ramos

[M4F] [Script Fill] Morning Fun With Your Study Abroad Fling

[M4A] Sitting on Your BF Lap While He's Gaming

[M4A] ¿Que si te Quiero? No te Quiero, Te Adoro

Marcus Rashford

[M4F] Pull Over, I'm Not Pulling Out!

Andy Robertson

[M4F] Your best friend wants to empty your brain

Gareth Southgate

[M4M] Fucking my man

Virgil Van Dijk

[M4F] I know. You're scared. Don't worry; Daddy's going to treat you nice.

relax EN [creampie] [fingering] [cullignus]

relax nl [DUTCH] [creampie][fingering] [cullignus]

[hope-you-brought-kneepads-bitch]

This isn't my universe

Summary: Scarlet Witch is having some trouble adjusting to this new universe she finds herself in knowing that no one really knows her and neither do you

Words: 1,300

A/N: Just some light angst for y'all, I wrote this on the train on the way home in like 2 hours

Warnings: Angst, fluff, slight sexual innuendo, no smut but minors still DNI

“Are you okay Scar?” You plopped yourself down onto the couch next to Scarlet who just shrugged “The holidays have always been hard, being on my own for so long gets really difficult over time”

You were surprised, right now you were both at a party with Wanda, Pietro, the other avengers, why was she sad?

“I’m sad Y/n because this isn’t my life, this isn’t my universe and none of these people know who I am!” Her voice sounded through the whole room and everyone turned their attention to the two of you, Wanda instantly moving towards you sensing Scarlet’s stress and worry, not wanting her to get worse

“Scar are you okay?” Wanda knelt down to the redhead with tears in her eyes, lowering her voice she tried again “Scarlet do you want to go? Or at least go somewhere private?” She nodded and Wanda looked to you “give us 10 minutes my love” kissing you softly Wanda pulled scarlet along with her away from the questioning eyes and murmurs, maybe being at a party around the holidays wasn’t the best idea for someone who’d just entered a new universe.

Finally they reached yours and Wanda’s old bedroom and she shut the door looking at the redhead witch “Wanda I’m sorry I shouldn’t of come I’m just ruining everything”

Wanda pulled her into a hug kissing the side of her head in a reassuring manner “you should know by now I feel every emotion you feel and it’s fucking exhausting, I know you think you're ruining everything” that got both of them laughing knowing full well she was telling the truth, every happy, sad, angry even horny emotion were felt between the two of them and it was definitely tiring

“It’s not my life” Scarlet whispered “we can’t keep going on like this, I can’t keep going on pretending I’m okay” Wanda sighed pulling away sitting her down on the bed and taking her hands into her own “listen to me Scar this is your life, so what if it’s a different universe who cares? Everyone here loves you, sure you can get a little annoying but that’s just what we’re like, you need to stop punishing yourself”

Scarlet wasn’t entirely convinced so Wanda changed tactics “okay think about it like this, in your universe you were with Vision and I’m sure that was wonderful, but here you have Y/n” she perked up at the mention of you

“She was the first person to accept me when I came here” she smiled wide at the memory replaying in her mind.

“So you’re like my Wanda?” Your hand reached out to stroke the sobbing girl’s face and her eyes opened to yours “yes…”

“Just more broken I guess, that’s okay every Wanda deserves love” your own Wanda came up behind you cautious of her variant “are you sure detka?”

You knelt down and held this witch’s face in your hands “did you have me in your universe?”

A quiet ‘no’ left her lips surprising your Wanda, she couldn’t imagine not being without you in any universe “do you want to stay and get to know me then?”

She nodded a little “I just want to be happy again”

“I’ll do everything in my power to do that malen'kaya ved'ma” you hoped your Russian was improving but by the look on the witch’s face it was getting better

“Spasibo”

The memory faded from Scarlet’s mind bringing her back to the present with Wanda still hugging her but a new face stood at the door, you “am I interrupting?” You said and Scarlet pulled away from Wanda heading straight for you hugging you tight

“I love you, I love you so much!” You were a little taken aback but happily accepted the hug giving a glance to Wanda wiping some stray tears away “now why are my beautiful witches crying hmm? I leave you guys alone for 10 minutes like you said and here you both are crying”

Wanda moved over to you two kissing you and kissing Scar on the cheek “I think it’s time for us to go home, we can have our own little party”

“Our own party? Hmm sounds exotic” you giggled and Wanda rolled her eyes “I was thinking more snacks and Netflix not handcuffs and strap ons”

Your body sagged “damn, maybe tomorrow then” Scarlet pulled away from you kissing you enjoying the taste of a fruity cocktail you had just had “how did I live in my universe without you?”

You shrugged “because my variant is clearly an idiot who doesn’t love hot evil witches, now come on I want those snacks Wanda’s talking about, Wanda you’ll have to drive”

Wanda laughed “oh princess you know how we actually like to travel, close your eyes”

You shut your eyes clinging onto the both of them and after a few moments you opened your eyes seeing you were back in your house still clinging to the pair “you can let go baby” scar said but you refused “Jesus give me a minute I have altitude sickness”

The women chuckled letting you cling to Scarlet while Wanda went through to the kitchen leaving you two alone. A few moments of silence were just what Scar needed, just to be here with you in your home the only noises were Wanda humming to herself as she busied herself, bliss.

“You two are adorable” Wanda had come back into the room with wine, Nutella and strawberries

You eyed the items curiously “I thought you said this wasn’t going to be a sexy evening?”

Wanda pouted “it’s not?”

You narrowed your eyes at her not believing her “I wish I could read your mind right now”

“No you don’t” Scar piped up and Wand a shot her a warning look but she continued “the Nutella isn’t going on the strawberries and the strawberries are definitely not going into the Nutella”

You looked puzzled unable to connect the dots “then where are they going?”

The witches exchanged glances wondering whether to tell you or hope you figure it out, finally scarlet gave up and pressed her fingertips to your forehead to see what Wanda was thinking, you gasped when she took her fingers away.

"Wanda! Fruit can't go into a person's body it'll mess up my PH scale, is that what you want? For my body acid to be messed up?!" Wanda was no longer paying attention, instead she sat down on the couch opening the bottle of wine "no Y/n I don't want to mess up your Ph scale, I apologise" the super sarcastic tone of her voice didn't faze you

"I know you're being sarcastic but I appreciate the fake concern for my bodily autonomy" Scarlet couldn't help it and just started laughing followed quickly by you and Wanda who spluttered some of the wine over the floor "shit, that wines expensive"

Eventually everyone calmed down and Scarlet sat down with you on her lap and held Wanda's hand in her own "thank you ladies, I'm sorry for ruining the party"

Wanda shook her head "please you didn't ruin anything, if we stayed any longer I'm sure Tony wold started rambling about himself as usual"

"Okay enough sadness, someone put on a comedy" you piped up reaching for the TV remote skipping through Netflix looking for the best comedy to fall asleep too

Wanda rolled her eyes "okay, put on the office"

"Hell yeah!"

[amysubmits]

A Week (#6)

The other morning the first words out of his mouth were firm and at full volume. “On your knees.”

My body seemed to obey faster than my mind could process. He pushed his cock towards me and I took it into my mouth. He fucked my face for a couple of minutes before we went on about our day. 

--------

I was crying from bubbling-over anxiety as we were in a parking lot. It was a straw that broke the camels back sort of scenario. A stranger triggered a deep insecurity. Some of my insecurities have been particularly raw lately as I’ve been in a new wavy of understanding and accepting my my ADHD related shortcomings. I apologized CD for having to deal with my ‘crazy’. His voice was soft and his body was calm. He said I wasn’t crazy, that he understood my overwhelm and it would be okay. He sat with me until my emotions were regulated again. 

-------

He was talking off and on as I gave him a blow job. A mixture of praise and degradation. I was making a ton of noise. “A little bit of me talking is all it takes to turn you into an unrestrained whore, isn’t it?”

------

Another day he was highly stressed and anxious, in a way that felt to me like it was probably making him disinterested in sex. I was stressed to, but the kind that was making me crave release. I asked for permission to bring myself to orgasm. He said yes, but later he expressed that the way I had worded things made him feel like I was only interested in masturbating. This wasn’t the case, I had just asked to masturbate because I thought I knew he wasn’t in the mood for sex. 

I have been trying to work on initiating sex because I’ve always shied away from it. He’s always initiated often enough that I’ve never had to initiate to stay satisfied. I can always just wait, usually a day or less - and my needs will be met without expressing them, which has unintentionally worked as positive reinforcement for following that instinct I have to avoid asking. But he likes to hear my desire sometimes...and some part of me probably needs to learn that it’s good to voice my wants more often. Anyway, I ended up realizing that this was a scenario where I had shied away from asking what I really wanted (sex) out of fear of asking too much. So while it was good to express something about my sexuality (as expressing wanting relief is somewhat hard for me still) I still felt into the trap of avoiding the full on vulnerability...and it made him feel like I wasn’t interested in him in that moment. It felt like a failure, but I directly requested reassurance before bed, he gave it to me, and it silenced my insecurities. 

------

He picked out a tiny box of coffee cake from the bakery section at the grocery store. We very rarely buy items from the bakery like that. It just contained four slices of cake. The next morning he commented on how I hadn’t had any yet, and said I should. I said I would and went about getting myself a piece. 

“You know you always can have some of anything I buy, right? You don’t have to ask or wait for me to offer. You know that right?”

The honest answer is my logical brain knows, but my emotional brain doesn’t. He knows this, and it’s why he’s saying it explicitly. To remind the emotional part of my brain.

---- 

One day CD pointed out how a year ago, he was less open with me about something he does that’s related to his mental health. We got talking about how therapy has helped us to understand ourselves better and how that’s improved our intimacy. It feels to me like for years now, many times over, we’ve thought we had reached the deepest intimacy we could ever have...because it was the deepest we’d ever experienced before. And yet it seems like over time it always grows deeper somehow. At one point in this conversation we both got teary-eyed. 

-----

He was all “peopled out” but needed his prescriptions picked up from the pharmacy. He asked me if I’d go in. I threw on a hoodie, my shoes and grabbed my purse. “Are you going in wearing those?” he asked. I was wearing leggings. Before I could answer he explained “I don’t care either way. I just know you don’t normally wear them out.” Honestly, he’d probably enjoy me wearing leggings in public more often...but he knows I’m uncomfortable with unwanted attention and often change how I dress in public to reduce the odds of getting that unwanted attention. He was assisting me with managing my own boundaries and sense of safety.  

[captain-mj]

Oki here me out Price is a plant dad and his Boytoy Graves needs to take care of them. Graves nearly kills Price favourite cactus, over waters it, because that man has no idea how to take care of a plant.

From Graves' pov because I wanted to switch it up! Also, this was supposed to be much longer but I started feeling sick half way through :( I wanted to finally get it finished but I’ll probably try to do a part 2 or maybe just rewrite this later

~~~~

Graves was staring at the stupid goddamn cactus, trying very hard not to cry. It was blooming and Price had explained to him two weeks ago that this cactus usually only bloomed when it was dying from stress.

Graves had stressed the goddamn plant so much it was killing itself. He double checked the instructions left and sure enough, he had mixed up two of the plants. The other one was fine, a few leaves browning slightly from dehydration, but nothing that couldn't be fixed.

He had spent the last few hours researching death blooms and how to reverse it. The only thing he could find it cut the bloom off, but he didn't want to cut Price's favorite plant.

So instead, he switched to its proper schedule and hoped it would be fine for another day when Price would be there and they could fix it.

He ended up crying.

The cactus was like two years old and Price had called it his favorite!

He ended up falling asleep in Price's bed. The door opening woke him up and he tripped over himself to get over to Price.

"Hey, love." Price smiled at him and Graves broke instantly.

"I'm so sorry I tried to do everything right but I messed up and the fucking plant and" He continued rambling while Price took off his shoes and put his coat on the door.

"Calm down." He grabbed his face, looking down at him. "Now, what's wrong?"

"I overwater your plant and its blooming." Graves looked miserable. Price winced.

"Alright, let me take a look at it." Price patted him and Graves trailed behind him. "Alright, good news, it hasn't started seeding. Bad news, its pretty close. So let me show you how to fix this in case it ever happens again."

Graves leaned into him. "I'm sorry..."

"It's alright. It's a tough plant." Price showed him how to cut the bloom away. "Now we just have to wait for it to pull through. I'll watch it. Any other plants have issues?"

Graves explained the browning leaves on the other one. "I started watering it like normal though and it seems to be improving."

"Good job, love." Price smiled, pulling him closer by his belt loops.

Graves leaned into him. "I missed you so much. Please don't ever leave me in charge of your plants again."

Price laughed and ruffled his hair. "I won't, don't worry." He leaned down and kissed him.

Graves put his arms around him, slowly pushing them back to the bedroom.

"Oh, I see." Price laughed. "Missed me huh?"

"You have no idea."

[livelaughlovesubs]

Following up my other ask I send, my mom has been mad at me for the past 4 days, I had the worst response to a serious interview, I accidentally said ‘venti’ while I was ordering at a another coffee shop, I’m on my period, I’m more suicidal, school has been ruined, my phone is going to get checked and looked through by the teachers at my school, I had cheer practice and almost passed out and to top it all off I’am on my period. FUCKING HELL!!!!!!!!

I’ve been so stressed out to the point of changing my typing style…

- 🎀

Warning: long rant

It’s alright, you can vent to me whenever you want and feel like it. And I’ll listen, as long as you need to. When the parents are mad at one it’s the worst feeling ever, and it always hurts so much. Have you tried talking with her? Though, if that’s not a possibility, I’d suggest you take a bath in the bathtub or a long shower to calm yourself. It’s very relaxing to have warm water run down your body or soak in it.

Eat something nice. Chocolate and sweets does help with bad mood, fruits too. I’d suggest you eat bananas or smt, I heard they make good mood. Who cares about weight or calories, the most important thing is that you are happy, and as long as you are happy you are the most beautiful version of yourself.

I used to write a journal when I was having a huge fight with my parents, and it really helped to write down every bad thought I had. Like how I hated everything, how sad I was. Now looking back, despite how often I wrote that, i don’t feel that way anymore.

Or, try out something new. Like a new game, read a new manhwa, a new show, listen to music… whatever it is. I’ve started playing dol and it’s really funny! I like Bailey the most :] dunno if you’ve played it before and know about it, though give it a try if you haven’t. If you don’t know how to install it on iOS I can help (it’s a bit complicated)

It’s alright to make mistakes or get turned down. That only means you have to look for other opportunities and learn from your mistakes. No one is perfect, there will always be hardships. But hey, there’s always an exit, whenever you hit your lowest point and everything feels shitty, just remember one day you can and you’ll climb high.

Being on your period is so shitty as a fellow woman I detest it too. The hormones going wild and making me emotional is driving me insane. But, it’s fine, being vulnerable is totally alright. There’s also nothing embarrassing about crying oneself to sleep, no matter what gender. Be honest with yourself and do what you think helps you to most, it’s alright to be egoistic at times, it’s okay.

I don’t know why you said schools not going very well. If it’s because of your grades, don’t be too harsh on yourself. School has just started, there’s enough time to improve. Making notes and writing them down all prettily turned out to be quite fun, it also helps with studying. Or going over the learned stuff with friends. Even if it’s less effective than learning alone, it’s better than hating it. And if it’s because of other people, we’ll, I gave you an answer a long time ago

I also don’t know why your phone is getting checked, and I know for a fact it is illegal except for special occasions (?) here in Germany. That’s simply outrageous. Your phone is something private to you and you only, that’s really horrible. I’m not sure how to help there, but if it were up to me I’d rebel or try and hide everything. Sorry for not having any advice on that one

Anyhow, about the passing out, dw. I went running today again and I also almost passed out. Cuz I went running even though it’s 31 Celsius- now I’m fine again, and by the looks of it, you are doing better too. I’m glad. If you are worried about it being embarrassing, no need to be. I can share an embarrassing story of me so that you don’t feel alone. One time, I thought a guy liked me and he was pretty cute, so I tried to flirt with him. Getting close to him and being a bit touchy. Then he outright told me, “can you keep some distance?” Guess I was picking up the wrong hints… haha… (I was so fucking delusional)

Oh god that was a ramble. Well, if you want to talk about it without other people knowing, you can always write a message to me. I hope you’ll do better after getting a good rest. In order to be in high spirits, it’s also important to take care of your body. Your soul and body is connected, your mind knows when you aren’t feeling your best and it affects your mood too. So eat and drink enough, also sleep well <3

[retphienix]

Well that was a pretty fun time :)

I still feel like the scan objectives are just, pointless, utterly pointless.

For most of them it was simple- go to the planet, scan, leave.

But for 2 of the scan sessions it just didn't spawn enough things to scan, or worse, the water one split the scans up RIDICULOUSLY between ground level and 300000000000000 tiles under the sea, it was annoying, not fun.

Anyways, not a big deal in all truth.

I really enjoyed this- moreso after I put a couple mods in place to alleviate the crafting/storage issue and give me a touch more to invest in during the scanning distractions.

But with those? I had a blast. WAY more of a good time than I expected- genuinely :)

The RPG mod is REALLY fun. Overpowered. But really really fun.

For most of the gameplay it wasn't overpowered- but holy hell if for the Glitch orb and final area I was a god, it was unfair, and kiiiiiiiiinda killed some of my fun because there wasn't any challenge anymore.

But! It was ONLY during those segments that it hit- because it was at that point that I unlocked the final version of my class weapon and the final version of the soldier class weapon is Buuuuuuuuuuuuusted lol

It's REALLY FUN, but it's TOO STRONG and made the final boss a joke that I didn't even get to pretend to be stressed over x.x

But I'd say I got far more good out of that mod than bad- I got a LOT of fun from grinding it out and exploring my options, 10/10 experience.

Anywho. Starbound.

I'd love to have some grand statement to say but I kinda don't have anything flowery to say.

The dev is a shitter for what he did.

The game looks aesthetically pleasing.

Scanning was a bad quest objective and the pre-fab locations are far more fun and should have been the vehicle for orb coords- not scanning nonsense.

All of the dungeons (save for the water one) are VERY entertaining- there's even some variance so you don't get bored doing 6 of them! :D

Crafting/storage is balls without a mod to improve storage- but is perfectly fine with a mod :)

The "crew" is barely skin deep- hell it's barely got skin- these aren't even cardboard cut outs- they're paper masks.

BUT. I WANT to like them- because their single note personalities are fun! They don't even get enough to say or do to actually sell those single notes- but I LIKE THEM LET ME LIKE THEM- the final scenes painting it like these are my beloved crew of friends is funny because they really REALLY don't get so much as a flashlight let alone a spotlight- LET ME LIKE THEM, GAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That one genocide lady is just. What a lazy turn lol.

"She's VERY smart and VERY talented and she had her whole family and planet attacked by pirates that were suspiciously lacking in human members and she wants to CLEANSE the universe as it's the only (final) SOLUTION" yeah yeah cry me a river and go fuck yourself- would 2 seconds of writing have been too much to grant her a more interesting character?

Come onnnnn.

There's a good amount of "things" to play with, but a lot of it doesn't feel.... impactful/rewarding enough to do, I guess is what I'd say?

Like I could farm and cook foods that buff me, but I failed to care. Just bring meds and fancy bandages if normal med kits aren't enough (kits were enough).

Pets are a thing- it just takes a lot of pointless setup to be able to heal and reuse them so I caught some and just never used them, what's the payoff? I have a guy who dies and needs healed? I'll just avoid damage and keep shooting.

Mechs are a thing, not really sure why. I LIKE them but it's such a self contained bit of content- you can do mech stuff to get mech parts to do mech stuff- I have a similar issue with entire sections of content in Warframe- I can do Railjack to improve Railjack to do Railjack (I love Railjack but MAKE IT COHESIVE- MAKE IT WORTH DOING FOR THE OTHER GAMEPLAY!). I do like that you can just start using your mech wherever but it's really not necessary and it's so awkward in some ways- like it's genuinely annoying to mine with.

Vehicles are a thing, not really sure why. I didn't even bother buying one despite having the money lol

Space bases are a thing- REALLY not sure why- I bought one but never bothered building it out because it didn't appear to have any payoffs beyond "a place to make" which is nice! It IS nice! But it's another feature that either lacks payoff or fails to convey what it's payoff is because I couldn't find it.

I LIKE that these things are here- but I wish there was some more interconnected functionality in all this.

If I push the discussion too far I'll just be asking for a different game.

Starbound was far more entertaining than I thought it would be after hearing some critique later in its life.

It VERY MUCH earns the critique- there's a lot of "Why?" in what features are here versus what basic QOL or features or quest design or NPC interactions are missing.

But you slap all that is here together and you still get a nice final game. Not a perfect one, but one I enjoyed plenty :) One I'd gladly play through again in coop (probably with the RPG mods because it is really fun >:) )- and Maaaaaybe- MAYBE- a game I'll come back to to build out a base and enjoy just making more outposts in the stars (not that THAT has much payoff if we're being honest lol).

Game pretty good 👍

I'd give it a "We really thought this was a Terraria killer when it was announced, but what's here is still pretty nice" out of 10 :)

Also a "Get fucked for taking advantage of young artists" out of 10. Probably more that on principle- but you don't really get much of an idea on the game itself from that rating lol.

Oh yeah wait:

My final stats for the RPG growth mod :)

The soldier's class weapon is OP as hell once you get it maxed out, and I say that both as a positive and negative lol

Also my fashionbound (it needs work but I'm not some player with hundreds of hours to actually make that x.x lol)

Fun time :) Pretty good game with unfortunate events surrounding it and bizarre design decisions (still baffled at the lack of QOL around chests in a game like this lmao)

💜

[chocolate-failure]

I just feel so utterly drained. So devoid of everything. Just fucking horrible. It feels like everything I do is consuming the last bit of energy I have and then I have to do shit for dig. Like God I fucking hate it here. It's this house. I had it labeled has Home on Google maps but it's literally hell.

I've been living here for 10 mfkn years getting sicker by the day and at some point it's not worth my well being... well at some point it wasn't and I don't know if this shit is permanent but being here is hurting me. I remember telling dig like maybe 7 years ago that I was gonna move out and it was seen as an entire rejection of our relationship and him. Like no you ignorant bitch this place is killing me and I knew it better back then. I had so much more clarity but far less money and I felt like I needed to always placate dig. I mean I still do. He is an infant. But now we're moving towards getting out of here. It only took a decade. And now I can figure out if I hate my life because I'm not living a life I feel belongs to me in a place that fosters my well being or if I'm not living a life that belongs to me with a person who fosters my well being. I gave the sinking feeling it's both but I feel I owe it to him to give him the chance to fuck up our new life together. Cuz it honestly feels like it hasn't started yet.

I think regardless I'll feel better because this house is a fucking hazard. It should be condemned and I kinda want to do an air quality test here just to get an idea of how many carcinogens I'm being exposed to on a daily basis.

After my mom's birthday we took a trip to Buffalo NY (where she's from) and I was really not looking forward to it. I really dislike Buffalo and my mom and her sister ate both overbearing and annoying in ways that not just stress me out but are weirdly triggering. Like we had been there for maybe 10 minutes and my aunt notices my nose ring and says it's not straight and I try to downplay it cuz if I explain why it's crooked I have to explain that it's a taper. But like she won't stfu about it after I try to shut it down twice I just say it's a taper and I'm gauging my septum. My mom starts fucking crying cuz she's found she can manipulate me that way. But bitch I'm fucking 34 can we pls stop acting like you gaf about my wellbeing and just want to continue controlling me?? Like Jesus. So yeah, that was within the first hour of being there so I wasn't confident nor excited for my time there.

And my time there was for the most part pretty uneventful but not entirely uncomfortable. I got to take my super mfkn hot baths which kept my weight down and honestly that's all that matters to me in any given situation. As long as I can starve myself and purge adequately I'm pretty happy. Nevermind I spent much of my time on a couch sitting next to my veggie uncle watching incredibly shitty shows only a boomer could enjoy. He was such a horrible person before the dementia and I'm hard pressed to think that changed him for the better... tho him not talking is definitely an improvement.

Man I'm miserable.

So yeah Buffalo wasn't the worst thing ever. I did spend a fair amount of time around my mom and aunt and realized how absolutely fucking autistic every women on that side of my family is like goddamn. They're all so goddamn weird and not necessarily in a bad way but there are so many things you have to navigate and tiptoe around to keep them happy. And being round that made me feel kinda mfkn bad about myself. Like I know I'm not a person that people feel they need to bend over backwards to make comfortable but it is at the expense of a lot of my own comfort. I think it's a little of the low support need/high masking in me and because I don't particularly care for people I often hit the "why tf am I doing this" wall. I could easily drop this shit, support myself in the ways I need instead of being mentally and emotionally drained by people who always put themselves before me or don't even consider my needs. I could do this by myself. I would be happier by myself. Why am I not by myself?

Idk.

I mean I do but I don't want to think about it.

After Buffalo I went to the city to see Ichigo. It's been a mfkn minute but I love that nigga and I don't think I could ever not have him in my life even though we're so incredibly introverted and low energy we could spend years not talking. Man I love that dude. But yeah, I stayed at his place from the 22nd to the 28th and it was goddamn magical. We went to Providence Park a couple times which was really mfkn dope, ends up he loves nature just as much as me 😭

His partner is a she/they not sure of their gender identity but holy hell can she fuck up some beans and rice. Like goddamn. That first day she made some beans and rice with chickpeas and avocado and istfg I ate and was happy to. I didn't eat a lot but that's the kind of eating that makes me happiest. And they didn't super push me to eat which was really nice. I legit could eat those rice and beans every day, they were so good 🤤 The next morning ichigo made eggs Benedict which was fuckin amazing. I've never poached an egg but now I gotta learn 👀

Their dog is a lil ball of nerves but she did sleep with me on the last few days when everybody had left. Ichigo works with highschoolers and hmmm... I don't have a name for his partner but hm... I really like her, they're super chill and easy to talk to and have a really nice smile... maybeeeee.... yeah no idk.. but I like them. She's a lawyer that works with equality litigation and making sure ppl have access to resources. But erm, I was on my own for Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday which I very much enjoyed far more than I expected. I took the bus to the gym everyday and it was absolutely wonderful. I got so much done and felt so mfkn accomplished. I def lost like 5lbs on my trip. I think I came back at 164~ I gained it all back cuz this place stresses me out but for a shining moment I felt good about myself and my progress and that means a lot to me. It shows me it's possible. It shows me it's not me.

Shitty cuddle interlude~

Dig was upset with me earlier today cuz I said him taking a nap was welcomed because I'm having a rough day. He took it as me not wanting to be around him at all and decided he just would avoid me. He could have just asked me if I wanted to have a chill day but sends me discord messages, I've literally told him I don't always get the notifs and social media messaging has become incredibly stressful for me. But yeah, he assumes I'm super upset with him and I need to be treated like I'll bite his head off if he so much as looks at me. I feel like I'm being gaslit into believing I'm both a bad person and my need for recharge is too much. I didn't say as much but I made it known I wasn't meaning to make him feel a burden and that I'm not a bad person for feeling drained by him and needing a rest. I tried not reveal anything negative I was feeling while setting a clear boundary. I took my bath and he was still outside from when he retreated thinking I was mad. He's outside enjoying the rain. It was a good rain. I go down and he's not doing well. But it's always up to me to put aside how I'm feeling to coddle him so I asked if he was okay with company. I sat with him in silence for a while and think to myself, he definitely wants me yo cuddle him but is that what I want to do. No, no it is not. What will it do for me? Prob be uncomfortable and a lil draining but he won't be a melancholy buzzkill in the coming week which is even more draineding cuz he will repeatedly imply it's my fault. In the long run this momentary discomfort will allow me to avoid future discomfort and future me deserves better. So I ask him if he would like to cuddle, something he's not too good at doing so maybe modeling asking for consent will help him to do it himself. So I cuddle with him and it feels like nothing. But worse than nothing cuz it's something I'm doing completely out of obligation. There is no joy or contentment or even comfort... and why do I have to be the person to ask for shit I don't even want? This is tiring.

[ferindencadash]

twenty questions for fic writers!

Tagged by @samuelroukin 🙏❤️

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

14

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

78,977

3. what fandoms do you write for?

So far just Mass Effect, Dragon Age, and Baldur's Gate

4. top five fics by kudos

A Port in the Storm - Mass Effect - FShep/pre-embodied EDI

Blood and Flesh - BG3 - Durgetash

Stockholm - Mass Effect - FShep/Zaeed

The Crack in Everything - Mass Effect - FShep/Ashley

Stitched Together - Mass Effect - MShep/James

5. do you respond to comments?

Always. My favourite thing about fanfic is connecting with people. I've made some amazing friends through the comments section.

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Blood and Flesh for sure. It's Durgetash hate-fucking so... 😅I think all my other fics at least have a hopeful/bittersweet ending.

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

If you count the sort-of epilogue in the author notes, Stockholm. They fuckin earned it after the shit I put them through. 👀 If you don't count that, probably Cold Feet.

8. do you get hate on fics?

Not yet! Knock on wood, because I will cry. 🥲 I'm pretty careful with tagging, I think that helps.

9. do you write smut?

Almost exclusively. 😅 It's usually mixed with plot though.

10. craziest crossover:

I haven't written one yet, but I do have this incredibly stupid Mass Effect/Letterkenny fic somewhat plotted out. 😂 Target audience of one (me), right there.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of. Much like my identity, I can't imagine anyone wanting to claim that for themselves. 😂

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope!

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have! It was fun but also incredibly stressful, so I probably wouldn't do it again.

14. all time favorite ship?

Shepard(any gender)/Kaidan/James. I could write essays on them. Ironically I have yet to publish a fic with them (though I have one in the works right now!) mostly because the standard I've set for myself with them is entirely too high. I blame PossumBones for writing them so perfectly I could never compare.

15. what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have an unhealthy amount of wips, but I don't want to give up on any of them permanently. The one that I most want to write, but is giving me the hardest time is my FShep/Aria piece, even though it's a short one-shot. I think because it has almost zero dialogue, and dialogue is the part I'm best at. 😅 But it's such a good little piece in my head. I just need to get better at writing before I can do it justice I think.

16. what are your writing strengths?

As above, dialogue. It always flows the easiest for me, and I'm usually quite happy with the end result. I've been told a lot that I'm good at nailing the character voices, which is very important to me. I spend HOURS listening to in-game dialogues before/while writing scenes, until I can hear them talking in my head.

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

Pacing, I think. I rush too much. (I have the same problem with my academic papers) I try to slow down and add more detail, but I get bored. 😅 I'm working on it...

18. thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I end up doing it quite a bit (if only in short bursts) because of James Vega. It's forced me to pick up Spanish again. I'm definitely not fluent, but I'm improving!

19. first fandom you wrote in?

Mass Effect. A Port in the Storm was my first piece I ever wrote. I published it just under a year ago. I actually just checked, and my first fic anniversary is exactly one week away! 🎂 I don't care if it's cheesy, I'm honestly really proud of myself for what I've accomplished in a year.

20. favorite fic you've written?

Stitched Together. I really, really love it. I wish more people would read it. 😅 It actually has started to pick up a little bit of attention in the last couple of weeks (just pushing it to my top five!), I'm not sure why, but every kudos that pops up on it makes me ridiculously happy.

I think my anxiety is officially too high to tag people today. 🥲 I always feel like I'm harassing people (even though I love getting tagged). So, please, seriously, if you want to play PLEASE DO and please please tag me (mutual or not) so I can read your answers! I honestly love reading these things.

[aboutchriss]

POST FROM MY OLD ACCOUNT, I DIDNT COPY THIS FROM ANYONE BUT ME!!

I WAS TITTIESOFBINNIE!!!

Pairing: changbin x angst!fem reader

Tags: fluff, just a lot of cuddles and comfort

TW MENTAL HEALTH⚠️, SH

Author note: I thought a LOT about posting this, I’m so insicure about my English, as I said it’s not my first language and I’m always scared to make mistakes or stuff like that, so if you find mistakes please let me know, I’ll be thankful and also my English will improve!

a couple days ago I told you that I have some issues with my mental and physical health, I’m at point where I’m super tired that I can’t even cry, even if I have this huge thing in my throat (not physically) that won’t come out, so I wrote this for some comfort and hope that this will make me cry, since I need someone that tells that everything it’s going to be okay, that I’m not a failure and it’s okay to be weak.

My dms and request are open for anything, don’t be afraid I won’t judge you.🩷

“Helloo, binnie is at home”

You heard from down stairs

“Fuck” you just think, you don’t want to see anyone, not even your boyfriend, you can’t handle it, he’s the love of your life but, right now, in your mental state you don’t want to be surrender by people, who ask ‘how are you?’ or ‘how are you feeling?’ because you know that if you answer it’s the end, you’re just going to cry and you can’t because you know that if you start you’ll never stop.

You can hear Changbin voice get closer, he’s mumbling a song, you don’t know which one, but he sounds so happy, so you just close your eyes and pretend to sleep

“Oh babe, you’re here are you sleeping?”

He asks.

No answer.

“I’m going to take a shower okay?” He kiss your cheek

“I missed you” he says before leaving the room that the two of you share.

Above 20 minutes after he’s out of the shower

“Aaaah finally, in bed”

He says facing you

“You’re still sleeping?”

He whispers facing you, his breath smell like mint

“You know that I’m naked? Like no clothes, to hot outside to sleep with a shirt”

You open eye, to check and even if it’s dark in the room you see a black t-shirt

He fooled you

“Ah, I knew it that you were not sleeping”

He says laughing

“What’s the matter? Why can’t you sleep, it’s 2:30 a.m”

“I was waiting for you”

You say

“You were waiting for me huh? Then why didn’t you say hi to me?”

He asks, grabbing your chin so you can look at him but your eyes are still closed

“I don’t know”

You say

“Baby look at me please, what’s happening?”

You finally open your eyes

“Nothing Binnie, it’s just that I can’t sleep”

“Spit it out c’mon, I’m not stupid.

You’re here physically but where is your mind?”

“I don’t know”

“Come here”

He says opening his arms, you refuse to go in there, you know that if you do You’ll collapse in tears and sobs, so you just stay where you are, on one side with your head on the pillow and your knees near to your chest

“No cuddles?”

You shake your head

“Ouch, this one hurts”

“Sorry, I just…I don’t feel like cuddling right now”

“Why baby?”

“I’m…over stress, I over worked my self, I can’t study, I can’t…eat, or sleep, or be happy, I can’t…”

You take a deep breath, trying to not cry

“Oh baby”

He wrap his arms around you, now you’re imprisoned between his arms and chest

“You know that you can cry”

“Yeah but…”

“But nothing y/n, you’re allowed to cry, you’re a human, and humans cry sometimes”

He says

“I know Changbin, but I feel like if I do cry, I’ll never stop, and I don’t have time to be weak, and cry over something stupid like stressed”

You say, with a trembling voice

“It’s okay, you can cry all night if you night to, but please do it, it’s not healthy for you to keep things for your self”

“You can scream, you can cry, you can hit me if you want to”

“I don’t want to hit you”

You say looking at him

“I’m softer then the wall”

He says and you feel like your world collapsed under your feet

He knows.

“How do you know?”

“How do I know what?”

He asks

“Don’t make me say it”

“I want you to say it, so it become real”

“I already know it”

You take a deep breath

“I’ve been punching the wall”

And after that you start to cry

“Oh baby”

His grip on you is tighter

“Why baby, you know that you can talk to me”

“I know, it’s just that”

You’re sobbing, you can’t talk

“Sshhhhhh, everything is going to be okay”

“Allow your self to cry, your a Human

You’re not weak if you cry”

He says

Time pass and luckily you calm down

“How do you know?”

“What baby?”

“That I have been hurting my self”

“Your knuckles, I saw them.And then you haven’t hold my hands for the last two weeks, and you usually do it all the time.”

“I’m sorry”

You say

“It’s okay baby, but don’t do it, ever again.

Don’t hurt your self, it’s not worth it.

If you’re felling upset, angry or anything else you call me and we go to the gym, so we can do boxe, with proper protection on your hands, okay?”

“Thanks binnie, I love you”

“I love you too baby”

[a-small-writer-in-a-big-world]

Bro, I just discorved your "Hands that hurt" fic and deadass read through it the whole night until I noticed it was already day 💀 like man did I srs love the conflict, and tension between Arthur Y/n! Tbh, I'm glad that I got in the right time for you to be writing the fic or rather rewriting it which im also excited for what new you could bring. That reminds that I do have some suggestions and maybe critique so I hope don't come off rude.

1. I would LOVE to see more about Y/N and Arthur's relationship from when they were young, especially with meeting John and the others thought out the years. It doesn't need to be completely the whole past event but perhaps important ones like the whole Mary and Arthur drama, Y/n going through how she feels about Arthur, and even Eliza and Issac event. This would not only would make us to get better eye to how Arthur and Y/n went from X to Y but feel us even more sad for Y/N who wanted to be with Arthur but couldn't. Although I know that would crave more creative for you to bear on how to write these events so dont stress yourself about it if you can't.

2. It would be cool if we could explore more about Y/N, especially with her wants, motive, belief and even more flaws that stand her out. I already love Y/N as she is though, I think the mildly annoying thing I had with her is how passive she is sometimes. MC don't need to be always active but seeing how she can only nod, agree or disagree, and not say anything. Now I know that Y/N is reader insert so I can understand why she is like this, but having her to talk up on others flaws when nobody can't, being a leader when she don't notice, showing us more how she struggle being the only women in man work where she is daily discriminated by other men and high society women. I could go on about that but it would be very long so.

I think that's it for what I can think of but I just want to say that I really love your story and looking forward more in the future hopefully! I clearly care about fanfic writers on wanting to improve to be better since I believe that even a fanfic can change a person's life better! Your fanfic don't need to be that of course, as long you have a good character with good development and everything else then your good!

Anon, you don’t know how happy it is to see that someone is still reading Hands That Hurt. I’m incredibly touched and honestly almost feel like crying lol

I appreciate your feedback and luckily since I was planning on rewriting the entire thing, I will most likely end up changing some of the stuff you talked about. I will end up making a post on the actual story to announce it will be rewritten and with the intended changes I want to make

This was my first actual real attempt at writing a fanfiction that had multiple chapters so there will be a lot of things and mistakes that I wish weren’t in there lol

1. I did end up wanting to do more with them as younger but it just never panned out to being like that, however I do believe now that I’ve had time to sit on it and time to overlook what I’ve written I might try to add small little snippets in there unless it fucks with the pacing

2. The reader, or “Y/n” (this might change) since it follows the main storyline of the game pretty closely wasn’t supposed to technically be the main character, you were supposed to be an onlooker to the story that unfolds in mind which was just a thing I was trying to experiment with however now that you’ve pointed it out I do understand where you’re coming from and will most likely change that as well. I kept the reader mostly a blank slate because it is a reader insert and I didn’t want to end up making it an OC when it’s not supposed to be, so that’s why it mainly feels like you are passive in the story.

I’ve learned more through writing other fics that it’s okay to give a little something more to the reader insert since it is interactive fiction and that’s just how it is.

Anyway! I just wanted to acknowledge your points but thank you so much for letting me know you read the story and enjoyed it. I hope to get into rewriting it (and finishing it) soon

[crypticmotherfucker]

Tw SH, Substance abuse, relapse, homelessness

So I got evicted because my landlord wanted to raise the rent, and instead of being upfront about it, they found out we were planning on moving and made the excuse that our apartment smelled like marijuanna. It was five days until christmas when i got the notice. I don't have the money for court fees and definately don't have the time or energy for court so I can't even fight it. On new years I'll officially be homeless. Ableit it won't be permanent we have plans to get a new place, which is definately not an improvement from our already small falling apart place but I'm still greatful for that. But I'll be separated from my partner. Like my platonic life partner. Like I love them so much I cook for them daily and they drive me around because I cant drive and i can't imagine living my life without them type partner. They are my bestfriend. And I can't bear to know they're gonna be suffering mentally crashing at their parents house and I wont be able to do anything about it because I haven't been able to work for nearly a year now. I'm also having to get rid of a lot of things that are very dear to me, which has been especially hard growing up with scarcity trauma and ending up with hoarding tendencies. I won't have my own space for a month. I grew up sharing a room, and even once I got my own as a teen I never had any privacy and wasn't really allowed to take up space and so sleeping in a one bedroom home with 2 other people and two cats is going to be a lot to me . I'm going to try to see it as just a very long vacation crashing on a friends couch but truth is its really going to drive me crazy. I ended up drinking an entire bottle of wine to myself and BY MYSELF and that's where the real issue comes in. I am totally fine usually to drink wine in moderation as a self care or social thing, as long as I limit myself to one glass. But when I use it as a coping mechanism for stress, and then also do it by myself with no one around to judge me or to keep me in check or to drink up the rest of the bottle before I can, that's when I know I've fucked up. I also dissociated really bad when told the news to the point where I stared at the same spot on the floor for an hour, scratching at my fingers which are now blistered from it, and when my roomate left for work I began immediately uncontrollablely hyperventilating and crying. I feel so hopeless. But not even in a unreasonable and depressed way. In a genuinely ... things are awful way. I've tried to be positive and hopeful for so long. But I mean... if you lost all your dreams, most of your mobility, your independence, your money, and your house you'd be upset about it too. If you weren't I think there'd be something else wrong. Anyway. I know not many people care but this is my safe space where I document my brain. I used to journal but my mother stole my journal as a kid ahahah so now I can only use tumblr bc i know she isn't tech savvy enough to see it or even find me here because nobody has for 5 years. Anyway if you did read this and need company in misery feel free to message me.