#--i havent actually watched II before

[blocktales-icconfessions]

oh no

The ii confessionlings

Their coming

BUT THIS IS A BLOCKTALES BLOGG!!! NOOOOO

*honk* *sniffle*

[dansevilpianotea]

ramble ahead about time, tatinof, 2015 and changing one's life

tatinof is very special and im so happy they did this video to acknowledge that its not cringe at all and that theyre proud of their past selves !! there's sth genuinely healing about that !! ive had a hard time in 2015 and even tho i was 12/13 and just discovered that online fan communities of things i was into were a thing and was nowhere close to the phandom (i joined after BIG), this is the fandom internet that i joined back then. thats why its so poetic that they sing 'the internet is here', because to me this is the time it started to be there for me. it wasnt always kind to me and instagram was not a great platform to start on if your bullies and other ppl from school were also on it, but it was also when for the first time ever i realised that there were not only people who liked what i liked but that those ppl also have created their own culture and community online !! i was not totally alone !! there is a life outside of school !! i would never chose to go back to that time ever like it was horrible (that applies to any time in the past tho, i hate the idea of 'going back in time' with a passion) but im glad that the internet was there for me because no one else really was if im being real with you.

more below the cut because im an insufferable yapper (dan is a terrible influence haha tit joke)

this all is maybe why i find it hard to go back to watch dnps older content and also the stuff from the tatinof era. dan's sarcastic self-hating persona and phils innocent nerd persona are both hitting a bit too close to home and i want to both cry for them and for myself. we knew nothing back then. we were lost and yet did sth we were proud of. yet here we are almost 10 years later and how the fuck did we end up here but oh my god im so proud of us. all it took for me was to watch dan's coming out video. all it took for them was to be embraced and loved by their audience (us). dan also needed a break which is something that at the time it happend was really hard for me but then i found my wonderful lovely phannie discord friends here. we really all got here together and if i ever see any single person say that dnp hate us or dan hates it or that dnp are cringe or that we are cringe etc etc i will block you so hard because what are you even doing bringing up drama when in reality dan and phil and the phandom have developed the most remarkable symbiotic relationship between artist adn fans ever. they are our dads and i honestly just want to say how fucking proud i am of them for how far theyve come and what theyve done since 2015. dan really did the whole mental health and gay thing but then he did the mental health again!! and i think ywgttn and wad need to be given more credit here because idk if you remember pre-wad dan but he wasnt anything like post wad dan. every since wad he seems so happy and genuinely authetic and in peace. (im ignoring dystopia daily here because that was filmed before wad and his dd persona also reminds me too much of 2015 depressed dan than whatever high concept he was going for lol, im just not a dd fan). like wad changed his relationship with us and its warming my entire heart when i see dan smile so much now. he deserves to be happy and proud. and if dan deserved it after going through so much and coming out on top (literally), then i deserve it too. and phil? i love how he's just so confident now. fuck. (literally). he is not the innocent nerd anymore like he actually is fully really himself now and feels comfortable in his body (crop top, phlonde, etc) and openly expressing his sexuality ! even compare this phil to phil from the beginning of the hiatus!! he got so much more confident and relaxed since then!! like fully, really, if he can do it, if he can strip himself of the persona that ppl have attributed to him because of his anxiety, then i can do that too. im so proud of phil. he is an inspiration and the more he's being himself publically with no shame, the more an autistic phannie will feel hopeful for their future. im so proud of both of them.

like its crazy you go through your life thinking you're going nowhere and never making any progress and will never reach your goals but then you stop and look back what you were like 6 months ago and realise how many lives you have lived since then. it always goes back to BIG when dan said this:

[...] I thought I was trapped in a situation forever when in reality, the entire world I lived in and my life changed completely. I thought it was hopeless when in reality there was so much to hope for and that's it. Time changes everything. With the lives that we have, we can try anything we've dreamed of. I want anyone that's ever felt like this to realize you are never trapped. There is always hope. You just need to believe in yourself and get to the other side.

this everyone, changed my life. and i will never be able to thank dan enough for it, no matter how much i pay for tour tickets, how often i watch their videos or share my love for them on here. i just want to mention this because its never just 'light entertainment', it means the world to many of us and we have build a wonderful and loving community despite the hardships of the past and pointless discourses of the present. like, we can change shit for ourselves because we see these gay idiots do it who have done soooo fucking much in the last 15 years like they were on radio 1 and on a hollywood billboard and hosted various big big events. and yet, they decided they want to use their time to do things for themselves and their community. they have said many times that they havent made a profit from (parts of) their tours but they do it regardless. they do really love us and i dont think ive ever really felt loved by people who i was in a fandom for like that. its really not as parasocial as it might seem anymore. we got here together and we should be proud of that. i love dnp and i love you phannies so much !! 💕💕💕💕💕

[lightbubbee]

Hi just popping in to say I LOVE your mepad design so much

thank ya :D

i forced my brother brutus to watch ii and one thing he was always asking was "what the hell is their biology" and it brought to mind some like, technical things regarding the meeple. it almost seems like, comparing them to bot, whose limbs are confirmed to be mechanical, they have biological components AND mechanical components. additionally, it appears that they get progressively less and less biological with each model

in my mind, for a hypothetical human au, cobs is working with cybernetic components--building cyborgs. and... i feel like he's challenging himself to see what all he can replace in a person. like--he thinks the more cybernetic you are, the more powerful you are, but perhaps mephone4 is proving that wrong? like, because mephone4 has his creativity still, and thats what makes cobs covet him as such. eh, idk. im rambling sorry ;;

with act 1 of the finale coming out today (is anyone else tweaking on live television?) id figure this concept will be like, debunked in terms of aligning with cobs' actual motives but im having fun.

but back to mepad: he's a cyborg! the mask-like facial component he has is not a mask at all--it's part of his face! i gave him a bit of scarring to imply some sort of procedure or injury to lead to such an implant, though i havent decided which. the device is connected to a neural implant that picks up what he needs to say and plays them through the speakers, and theres a little vent on the bottom which allows him to breathe. sniles sneetly

since he cant eat, he also has some additional internal mechanical components to compensate. as for his arms, mephone4 stole him before he had those installed lol. anyway sorry for rambling ,:3c ive been wanting to ramble about himb but i could never justify making a post. thank u for the ask!!! <3

[moonstandardtime]

im thinking about loop. as usual. but today im putting a fun spin on things and thinking specifically about my botw au loop.

heres my original drawing of them from last year + another image for cropping. it feels pretty self-evident to me but this may be an instance of the one xqcd comic. about accidentally assuming what is common knowledge.

so. loop is fi. fi from skyward sword not breath of the wild yes. heres a little lesson on the zelda timeline for those of you who havent read the hyrule historia book cover to cover.

pre skyward sword—there is a manga in the back of hyrule historia about the first hero. the one before sksw link, who is the "first hero". this actual (non-canon, probably) first hero was wrongfully imprisoned for vaguely specified reasons that i dont remember and thus wasnt really able to do his hero things. i guess. and hylia (not zelda yet) who was in love with him . well shes important i dont rlly remember how shes relevant to this link specifically. but link sacrifices himself for the good of the people and hylia sends up the sky islands that would later become skyloft and others. because theres a war happening i forgot to mention that. i think the master sword is relevant but can you tell its been a while since ive read this. because it has.

and now the master sword. i havent actually finished sksw and dont know the whole story even though i really. should by now. but i know the basics. fi is the spirit of the master sword and i think she was made by hylia to aid in that whole war i mentioned. or something like that. shes only present in sksw but technically shes in botw too bc the master sword speaks to zelda and uses her little chime and like. obviously thats a callback to sksw.

so. loop.

loop in this au is the first hero. kiind of. theyre more of the chosen hero (sksw) in terms of story elements but first hero in terms of like, situation? this gets into a lot of the Lore which ii wont explain. bc that would like triple the length of this post. but BASICALLY the rundown of the situation is that Loop is in a Situationship (aka messy QPR) with Change's First Chosen (aka Mirabelle); Chosen gets nabbed by the first King; Loop sacrifices themself to save her. the Chosen then puts Loop's soul in their sword bc of how much she cares for them. and maybe kills the King with it for dramatic effect.

and then the Universe and Change God are so moved* by this they decide if it aint broke dont fix it. and thus begins the Cycle.

(*the universe just saw a Situation that tied itself up in a neat bow while also progressing things and was like yeah ok lets just keep doing that. and change went along with it bc they were actually moved by it. and wanted to play toys)

SO. now Loop is in the sword. dead. tragic. aand (fast forward several thousand years and heroes (and theres one in particular they remember so well. they dont speak of him. he doesnt matter anymore.)) here comes a Siffrin who. also dies! but gets to come back and try again. because life just isnt fair i guess. and this motherfucker is so useless (helpless) and doesnt know anything and they cant just watch it all go wrong again so. they break their several thousand year silence and help him.

jazz hands ✨️ there it is thats my loop lore. yayy

[sirenthatmakesyouwantcake]

these are my thoughts on interview with the vampire episode 5 season 2

I've heard a few things about this episode, I've been really wanting to watch it just havent had had the time yet. I've also heard that they don't actually unpack any of it.which seems pretty on brand for them

(6:10) Sometimes, ii think i have bad handwriting, but then there’s daniel’s, which makes my feel a lot better about my own

(7:52) definitely gay (8:11) definitely

This whole interview is just a who can be the sassiest and most insane old gay guy possible

(9:46) daniel is like that one fall out boy song, he spent an entire decade high and doesn't remember any of it (or that he is gay)

(10:04) i like how they had him standing at the window, it's a nice touch

(12:53) if i just found out that vampires are real, i think i would be pretty fucking afraide too

I've been painting my nails while watching and ended up skipping on of my nails

(13:35) that was perfect, it was so close to quoting the book, it was good enough that i even recognised it before i even looked up the first few pages

(16:03) I like this louis more than the other few, he’s so much more fun and happy instead of seeming like he only sort of wanted to be there.

(17:18) it's no wonder he doesn't remember the first interview, he looks like he could barely stand if he wanted to

(22:55) 70’s armand is millennial grey

(24:21) i think someone is a little jealous (another weirdly spelled word) ((25:19) and the other one is schizophrenia), i also think two someones need to go the marriage therapy

(26:16) well that took quite a turn, and i think its shows their relationship well, how even thought why both had just yelled at each other, armand still saved him right away, and then, though i haven't gotten there yet, i assume that armand made him forget how bad it hurt, (38:22), i take parts of that back, armand basically torched him, they really do need therapy, i'm surprised they didn't end up killing each other in the time between the interviews

(29:23) poor daniel got caught in the middle of their messed up relationship

(30:01) for some reason, i thought the guy in the bag was daniel, and somehow he was revived and turned into a vampire, i clearly didn't think this through much because now that i'm thinking about it again, there in no way that would have worked

Armand is supposed to look 17, he looks 20 or so, i know his actor is somewhere in his 20’s and he did play him well, i don't think they could have done the show the same way if he was played by a younger actor.

(38:22) about time

(45:31) louis is quite a jump scare when the rest of your room is dark and quite

(51:01) once again, not talking about the problems

OTHER

I really like how both daniel’s had similar voices, specifically the gravely (i think that's the right word) parts

Conclusion of this episode: maybe all four of them could use some therapy or atleast to talk to each other and work out their problems (the last part doesn't really apply to lestat, he was not part of the sort of ok guys, not good guys, i don't think any of them really qualify as good guys except daniel, he was just caught up in everything)

This episode really put their relationship through it but i think it may have helped parts of it as well, maybe if armand and louis could actually talk they could have a better relationship that isn't just hanging off a cliff

@certainunkownlove2 was telling me about this post and i think all of you need to read it, he is so wonderful for this

Thank you for reading, now it is time for me to rest (literally speaking, it's late and i'm tired)

other episodes

S2E1 S2E2 S2E3 S2E4 S2E6

[drunkenkissesatdusk]

LABYRINTH ( ii ) - gr63

pairing . . . george russell x fem!reader summary . . . you never actually meant to wish your brother away. but if you wanted him back, you'd have to travel to the goblin king's castle and retrieve him. But maybe you don't go back, maybe the goblin king entices you, and you have to make a decision. warnings . . . still the labyrinth!au !! nothing else :) notes . . . this is part 2 of the original post! scroll to the bottom to read part 1 if you havent yet <3 also, like one use of "(name)" in this entire thing

━━━━━━━ THE WALK THROUGH to the labyrinth was the easiest part. You had found that the only easy part was walking to the labyrinth and staring at it. At the edge of the labyrinth, your eyes fell upon a goblin that was turned to a small pool of water.

"Excuse me? Excuse me!" You called out, stepping forwards as the goblin quickly zipped up his pants and turned to you, he was... disturbing, to say the least. But you had to adjust to the faces of the goblins, this was the way Goblin City anyways - or, at least, you hoped.

"Oh," his voice was loud and raspy as he turned to you, "it's you." he sounded displeased, staring at you from where he stood - which was rather taller than you expected. You were taken aback by his rudeness, but shook it off in a second.

"i have to get through this labyrinth. Can you help me?" You asked, watching as he picked some weird contraption up, scanning the air quickly before finding a small flying... fairy? Fairies were real?

"Oh, how sweet." The goblin turned from you, spraying a fairy before counting - "Fifty-seven!" and moving on.

"How could you?" you gasped loudly, rushing towards the fairy and cupping it into your hands, "Poor thing." you cooed, glaring at the goblin a second later.

"You monster!" You accused him, your face morphing into one of anger. A sharp stinging pain shot through your hand - "It bit me!" you cried out, dropping it out of surprise. You began slowly walking after the goblin, cradling your injured hand in your chest.

"What did you expect fairies to do?" The goblin seemed amused, waddling onwards in a line.

"I thought they did nice things, like granting wishes." You thought back to the countless childhood stories, Peter Pan, Cinderella, all of them. Fairytales had painted the creatures as sweet and beautiful things that helped people and did good things, not bite people and be mean.

"That shows what you know, doesn't it?" He snickered, "fifty-eight!" left his lips as he sprayed another fairy. He was an unkind goblin, and it irritated you. You'd been frustrated enough today, George and your brother, your evil stepmother, and your mean father.

"You're horrible." You snarled, your hands dropping to your side. This was pointless, all of it was. You hadn't even gotten into the labyrinth, and you already wanted to turn around, forget Toby, and run away forever.

"No, I'm not. I'm Hoggle." Hoggle finally gave his name, you rolled your eyes without a problem. "Who are you?" He didn't seem like he'd meant it, he seemed like he wasn't even listening to anything you were saying.

"(name)." You answered, folding your arms over your chest and continued after Hoggle.

"Thats what I thought - fifty-nine!" He muttered, spraying the next fairy he saw.

"Do you know where the door is?" You were hopeful he'd finally answer you, but, as you expected, he didn't. He remained impossible to get any straight answer from, and it made you even more upset than before.

"Maybe." He answered.

"Well, where is it?" You hopefully asked again.

He didn't answer you, continuing to walk before being bit by a fairy, he exclaimed a small "Oh, you little..." before spraying it and counting it - it was his sixtieth fairy of the day.

"Where is it?" You were more restless than before, glaring at his back as you continued after him.

"What?" He was clueless.

"The door." You deadpanned, expecting the answer.

"What door?" He responded.

"It's hopeless asking you anything!" You cried out, throwing your hands up and your head back in anguish. You were losing time over this, and if he was to be no help, you would just... forget about Toby.

"Not if you ask the right questions." He continued forwards, the complete opposite of this conversation.

"How do I get into the labyrinth?" you finally asked after letting his response flow through your head a few times.

"Now that's more like it. You get in..." He scanned the wall before pointing, "there." when you grinned and followed where his finger was pointing, he spoke up again - "Are you really going in there?" He asked.

You nodded, "Yes, I'm afraid I have to." you sighed out the ending of your sentence, you didn't want to do this at all. Thankfully, you at least got your answer.

"Cosy, isn't it?" He tried joking, because now he just seemed sorry for you. Why would he be sorry? He didn't know you, and this was all your fault anyways, if you hadn't been so selfish... if you hadn't been so upset.

"Would you go left, or right?" You decided to ask Hoggle, turning to him after scanning both ways you could go through the labyrinth. "They both look the same." you worriedly add, gently folding your hands together over and over again - a nervous habit.

"You will not get very far." Hoggle told you, shaking his head while staring at you. You found yourself rolling your eyes again - Hoggle the pessimist.

"Which way would you go?" You rephrased your question, hoping for a better decision this time around. When would you learn?

"Me? I wouldn't go either way." Hoggle snorted out of humor, making you scoff.

"If you won't help me, just leave." You groaned, shaking your head.

"You take too many things for granted. Take this labyrinth, even if you get to the center, you'll never get out again." Hoggle muttered, shaking his head this time. He was still irritating you incessantly, making you furthermore upset with him and everyone.

"That's your opinion." You groaned, trying not to lose your cool right then and there.

"It's better than yours." Hoggle sassed instantly.

"Thanks for nothing, Hogwart." You rolled your eyes once more before turning down a path and beginning your venture into the labyrinth, time was of the essence.

"It's Hoggle! And don't say I didn't warn you." He muttered, his voice losing its boost as you walked further away, further away from him, further away from safety, and further away from your perfect sanity.

━━━━━━━ PREVIOUS PART! - NEXT PART! - MASTERLIST!

[annimator]

Looking back, October really felt like a great month for me fandom-wise and by the looks of it, November’s gonna be just a great :D

So, what happened that made October really great for me?

Well…

(I put it all under the cut cuz I’ll be spoiling some stuff for Disventure Camp, Inanimate Insanity, Heartstopper, and Whitepine. They’re all pretty great imo and I don’t wanna spoil stuff that happens in these shows/series for people that seem interested in them :p)

• i LOVED Heartstopper S3. I was rlly excited to see how they’d adapt Volumes 4 & 5 for the show and it delivered because NICK AND CHARLIE SAYING THEIR FIRST “I LOVE YOU”S TO EACHOTHER WAS SMTH THAT I WAS SO EXCITED TO SEE IN LIVE ACTION AND IT IS GENUINELY MY FAVOURITE MOMENT FROM THE WEBCOMIC. JOE AND KIT WERE SO INCREDIBLE ALL SEASON TOO

• I also rlly loved Darcy’s plotline for the season as someone that’s Nonbinary. Same thing with Isaac’s

• I was genuinely so fucking happy over Sahar and Imogen’s relationship getting more and more romantic. I cant wait to see what’ll happen to them in S4

• I STILL HAVENT FUCKING RECOVERED FROM INANIMATE INSANITY S2 EP 17. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT

• FAN’S LAST WORDS BEFORE HIS “DEATH” STILL FUCKS ME UP. AND DONT GET ME STARTED ON PAINTBRUSH BURSTING INTO TEARS AFTER SEEING LIGHTBULB FUCKING DIE IN FRONT OF THEM.

• THE ENDING SCENE. KNIFE AND SUITCASE BASICALLY ACCEPTED THEIR DEATHS AND THIS ONE PIECE OF FANART I SAW ON TWT ISNT HELPING

• but on a lighter note, I still can’t believe the II fandom managed to complete an ARG that took 3 days to be made within less than an hour lmao.

• OMG DC’S TOMJAKE SPIN-OFF WAS SO FUCKING AMAZING I LOVE IT SO MUCH.

• I like to think that the series as a whole is just ONC’s apology for making TomJake shippers wait MORE THAN A YEAR for them to actually become canon /j

• the cuteness aggression I get from these two are rivalling the ones I get from spiderbit and fitpac, and I’m saying this in the kindest way possible

• Those scenes from Ep 2 with Jake and Tom in domestic bliss genuinely added a decade to my lifespan. Their kiss at the end of the episode was great too. And what Gabby and Ellie said to each other immediately afterwards might genuinely be my favourite lines from the both of them

• The spinoff’s first season ending with Jake proposing to Tom genuinely got me (internally) screaming out of pure joy. I genuinely didn’t expect to get this obsessed with them when I got into DC since they weren’t even the ship that got me into watch in the series. (*cough* gabellie) Also ik this episode was released last Saturday but idgaf lmao

• a lot of double greetings were posted during October too! Literally most of the tomjake double greetings had them kissing and that implies that people paid extra for that to happen lol.

• Speaking of, the first Jaiden double greeting came out on my birthday >:D I haven’t really mentioned them much in my Disventure Camp posts, but they share the title of being my favourite DC ships alongside tomjake and gabellie! Their dynamic’s pretty cute and James’ confession to Aiden during the S2 finale is genuinely one of my favourite scenes of the entire series

• also Disventure Camp: Staff Stories’ last episode was released during October lol. I prefer Ep 3 more, but Derek and Trevor’s backstory was pretty interesting! Still can’t believed the episode ended like THAT lol

• S4’s contestants were also introduced, and it’s making me SO EXCITED! I’m personally rooting for Hannah, Benji, Marissa, Zaid, Tristian, Jade, Natalia, Alessio, and Isabel! So I will be very sad if one of them ends up being first boot :D

• WAIT I ALMOST FORGOT- New Whitepine episode came out and I really liked it a lot! Ivory and Serapter’s friendship is rlly sweet. Wonder why Clown wants Ivory to not bring up the whole murderer thing…

• oh yeah I also had a dsmp relapse because of Jack’s stream lol

[danhowellz]

ok heres my two cents on tour and the cancelled dates. imo its been a real mixture of everything as to why dates haven't sold out/been cancelled. I think they (dan and his promoter team) booked venues that were just too big. majority of the venues have been 1-2k capacity and dan just doesn't have that kind of audience anymore, not on his own anyway. this goes hand in hand with dan perhaps not promoting the tour as much as he could have. now i love him so much but u can't expect people to go and see u if you ain't doing anything online ??? i know he's said countless times that he's a perfectionist when it comes to what he uploads. whether that be a tweet or an instagram post and he's said he struggles knowing what he wants to upload, especially with his videos. unfortunately this doesn't go hand in hand with wanting to go on a world tour and have actual real life people come and watch you. like if he's not giving us anything online what incentive is there to see him irl?

i also think back to what he said about the pre show q&a only being in the uk/america/canada bc the other venues didn't know how well it would work and didn't wanna risk adding it (which makes no sense tbh bc people have already bought tickets so they'll wanna see a q&a??) i think some of these setbacks have been due to the fact he's still seen as "just a youtuber" and like dnp have mentioned before when talking about tatinof/ii, venues were so reluctant to host their show bc they aren't mainstream celebrities/comedians. it makes me wonder if dan has ever thought about dipping his toes into traditional stand up comedy and building up an audience via actual gigs and shows as well as creating content online.

i really like what @yonpote said here that he should have done the tour in stages rather than announce a full world tour at the start. he could have seen how well it did in the uk and then planned better for venues in the usa/aus/nz/europe. but hey i guess thats the beauty of hindsight and maybe if he did another tour he'd do it differently (or just not work with these promoters tbh they've been a mess from the start. remember the oxford/cambridge chaos?)

all of this to say we'll never know any of the answers bc dan certainly isn't gonna tell us (most likely bc contractually he can't lol) i do hope he talks about the iceland show though and communicates with us as an audience (something i dont think either of them are great at but thats another post lol) and i just hope all of these cancellations havent like stressed him out too much

[jellyaibo]

i want to hear ur thoughts abt object terror, you philosophor

so disclaimer i havent seen OT in fucking months so this insane ramble isnt gna be. the best but

object terror is one of the best worst fucking object shows ive ever seen, literally the PRIME example of some edgy kid trying to make an object show that isnt ur grandmas object show. no. this is the REAL shit and they say SLURS and theres BLOOD and GORE (yes im serious theres blood and gore and death but itsnot that bad, definitely a bit shocking if u didnt expect it to happen tho)

theres also shitty voice acting and terrible mic quality galore, EX: theres a fucking cup that had this dogshit mic for the longest fucking time and it deadass sounded like bro was talking into a washing machine ohmy god, i remember there was a clip of him going around on twitter a while ago cuz of this (i think that was my first time seeing anything from OT too so theres that)

OH and theres cactus, i barely remember anything abt him but he had this fucking emotionless voice that made me HYSTERICAL. there was a scene where someone got him pissed and he said "you take that back" with. absolutely no emotion at all and since then me and my friends keep fucking quoting that line cuz its the funniest fucking shit ever

btw that slur line i said earlier wasnt a joke, one of the characters straight up drops the R SLUR in the FIRST EPISODE (funnily enough, that character became the creators objectsona i think? ik they kinda used him as a mascot for a bit which is so fucking funny) tho i dont think they drop anymore slurs after that but dont take my word on it

anyways i gotta talk abt my favorite fucking part abt this fucking show before i get to. mint

THESE FUCKING CUNTS.

before i watched object terror i got fucking warned abt these two because there was a . homophobic scene w them or some shit and i had NO idea what it was for the longest time so i was really excited to see what object homophobia was gna be graced upon my faggotly eyes

and then theyjust. started making out randomly. LIKE OUTTA NOWHERE and there were other characters there that were gna try to attack/kill them? but then they saw them kissing and were like omg ewww boys (i think. the stuff that happens after this scene is kinda blurry tbh and im NOT gonna go back and watch the clip to see what happens ok. i REFUSE) and im sorry but thats the best fucking object show scene ever

AND LIKE? IDK? MAYBE ITS JUST ME BUT I DONT GET WHY I SAW PPL SAY THIS WAS HOMOPHOBIC???? i dunno maybe its just me but like these two just kissed while watching tv and eating chicken AND NOTHING BAD HAPPENED TO THEM!!! THEY LITERALLY WON IMMUNITY BY THE END OF THE EPISODE TOO. THEY WON. THE GAYS WON. and its so fucking funny to me bro object terror LOVES the gays

ok now i need to talk about mint im sorry i hate this fucking thing so much I NEED TO KILL HIM WITH A ROCK!!!! FFFUCK!!

hes literally just taco ii but 100x worse, i dont even like tacos evil arc or whatever cuz i always found her annoying BUT MINT IS SO MUCH WORSE

never in my. almost 2 years of watching object shows have i ever hated a character so fucking much LIKE GENUINELY THIS THING MAKES ME SO FRUSTRATED. hes just that. lol XD random character FOR THE WHOLE SERIES. just annoying and loud and does literally fucking nothing AND THE JOKES W HIM ARE SO FORCED I SWEAR THEY STOPPED . EVERYTHING THAT WAS GOING ON IN AN EPISODE JUST TO FOCUS ON THIS MOTHERFUCKER CUZ HE WAS GONNA DO SOMETHING FUNNY. im not mad that im missing out on some "juicy" object terror "lore" im just pissed that i have to see this fucking disgrace on my screen

oh and in the latest episode (as of now, the series isnt actually finished yet and i hope to god it never gets continued) SUDDENLY mint has a fucking arc THAT WAS NEVER FORESHADOWED AT ALL IN THE SERIES!! SO SUDDENLY HES A SMART GENIUS THAT COULD DO ANYTHING CUZ HE HAS MACHINES N SHIT AND A WHOLE ASS LABORATORY ??????? THEN HE FUCKING DIES

do you know how many fucking. mid and uninteresting characters we had to lose for him

DO YOU KNOW THE LOSSES I HAD TO DEAL WITH CUZ OF HIM

he lived for too fuckig long in this show dammit it pisses me off that he's even a character that exists . i blame him for being the reason why i hate joke characters (except david ily david bfdi)

i dont wanna talk abt him anymore im gonna

OK OK BUT. 1 more thing. smore

smore is this guy that they introduced later on in the series and hes a FUCKING. DEMON FROM HELL and i need him so bad actually

i think at some point he tries to . kill mint too so im literaly making out with him rn oh my god HES SO

im so mad hes in object terror IM GETTING YOU OUTTA THERE BABY ‼ ‼ 🗣🗣

honestly tho he was so cool im a little mad that they introduced him so late into the show CUZ WE ONLY SEE HIM FOR LIKE 2 EPISODES GRAHHHH RAAGHHHH babygirl

anyways thats it i feel like theres more but im not gonna wring out any more object terror knowledge from my brain i think that'll kill me

hope u enjoyed my insanity anon heres a loser . hope this heals you

[turpizmx]

Oh, so you wanna learn more about polish culture? Maybe youre learning the language and trying to impress native speakers with quotes (we love movie quotes). Or maybe you just like the "pov: you grew up in eastern europe" videos.

Well heres an unhelpful guide to polish movies you should know to earn the respect of a pole.

1. Kiler (1997)

A taxi driver gets mistaken for a serial killer and is trying to not get arrested. Quite entertaining, but can get confusing (thats one thing most polish movies have in common). The main character is likeable and can be accurately described as "a bit confused but hes got the spirit". A solid 8/10.

2. Chłopaki nie płaczą/Boys don't cry (2000)

Two young dudes get in trouble with the mafia. You will hear a lot of quotes from this one (the most popular one is "you wouldnt understand the story behind this jumper, anyway"). I've seen it before but can't really remember what it was all about, to be fair I just didnt pay attention. Ill give it a 7/10.

3. Dzień świra/Freak day (2002)

A day in life of a frustrated, divorced teacher. Absolutely hilarious and relatable, probably the most popular one on the list. A must watch. A 10/10 right there. I have nothing else to add.

4. Miś/A bear (1981)

A life of a sports club president in the communist Poland. Im probably missing out but I havent actually seen this one. Your parents beloved movie as they remember those times.

5. Jak rozpętałem drugą wojnę światową/How I've started the world war II (1969)

A story of an unlucky solider who thinks he started the world war II and tries to be a hero, which only puts him in more trouble. A classic just because of one scene, where the main character says his name is Grzegorz Brzęczyszczykiewicz . Ive seen it a long time ago. I cant remember anything.

And thats it. There's a lot more, but these are the absolute basics. If you want something more advanced search for The Trilogy, containing: Ogniem i mieczem/With fire and sword, Potop/Deluge and Pan Wołodyjowski/Sir Wołodyjowski. They are historical movies based off Henryk Sienkiewicz novels. Thanks for reading bye!

[happys-crazy-queen22]

Fertility Struggles II

Gif credit @angels-reyes

Part 2 to Fertility struggles. Hope you all enjoy.

Taglist @nocturnalherb16. @jesseswartzwelder. @leaalfred. @creepers-baby-girl. @writerwithasoul. @twistnet. @baylishh. @believinghurts. @ilovetaquitosmmmm. @mayans-mc.

Month after month since starting IVF, you've gotten your period. It was starting to make you mad. You were actually getting tired of using periods at the end of a sentence. They were everywhere. One month you did get your hopes up because you missed your period but wham that bitch hit you at the end of the month. She wasnt going to let your dreams come true.

It was the first day of your period and Nestor came home happy thinking this might have worked. You've been moody and eating a lot. But you were scared to tell him.

"You got your period"? He asked when he saw you on the couch, with your sweats, a box of tissues and icecream with a blanket wrapped around you.

"Yeah. That bitch can't give us a break. I'm sorry". You said with a sniffle.

"It's okay. We can try again". He came over to the couch and sat down pulling your legs to his lap.

"I dont know if I want too". You replied, playing with your icecream in the tub.

"What do you mean"? Nestor moved in his seat to look at you. He was confused. This has always been the number one thing you have ever wanted.

"IVF seems to not be working. I'm getting my period every month. It's like I'm taking this drug for the fun of it. I'm putting us through hell and getting nothing". You wiped away tears with your sleeve.

"Its not for nothing. We're going to make a baby. You can't give up". He rested his hand on your stomach.

"I havent. Maybe we should look into adoption or a surrogate"?

"So you're wanting me to take my sperm and put it in someone else that is not my wife"? Nestor looked confused and like you wanted him to walk into this trap.

"Maybe. There wont be any contact with your junk and her junk. Itll be through a doctor. So calm down. You're not sleeping with anyone but me". You laughed as he sighed a sigh of relief.

"Alright. Why dont you go to the doctor and make sure that they can't do anything before we jump to those options".

"I'm tired Nestor. I'm tired. I dont want anymore doctors".

"Just go for me. We cant give up".

"Alright. Fine. For you but if they say they cant. I'm done. My body has been through enough. I cant". You shake your head. Tears rolling down your cheeks. Your heart has been broken so many times and you couldnt go through that again. Your heart couldn't bare it.

"What brings you in today"? Your doctor asked, she probably already knows the answer.

"IVF isn't working. I've tried everything you said. I keep getting my period every month. I'm just, it's like it's no hope for me". You explain.

"How long does the periods last"?

"Two maybe three days but it's like spotting. No heavy flow".

"Okay.  I'm going to do a ultrasound and see if we can see anything".

"I'm telling you theres nothing in there". You sigh laying back on the table.

"You never know". She said before stepping out the door.

She came back in with a nurse and the machine. The gel she squirted was cold on your stomach.

"Alright, let's see what we got".

Looking at the screen, you saw nothing. Blank uterus. "Told you".

"Dont be so sure. What is this"? She pointed to the screen and saw two little jellybeans just floating around in your uterus.

You about hopped off the table when she said that. "How is that possible". You asked about in tears.

"Well, when you're on the IVF, occasional spotting happens and some mistake it as their period. But you're pregnant. With twins. It's to early to tell what they are but they seem healthy". She said taking pictures of the jellybeans.

"Oh my God. Nestor is going to freak when I tell him". You gasped as she handed you the ultrasound photo.

"Thank you so much for everything. You have no idea what this means to us". You hugged her crying.

"I think I have a idea. I too had a hard time having children so I know what it feels like to get that news that you're pregnant". She smiled and gave you a prescription for prenatal vitamins.

"Thanks again". You said before leaving her office.

You were so excited to tell Nestor that he was going to be a daddy. But then the nerves kicked in. What happens if this is like last time? What if you lose them or even one? You were going to take every precaution there was. You put yourself on bedrest and a healthier diet. Thinking those could help to keep the babies.

Getting home, Nestor was already there. Walking into the house, he was cooking. Something so good it made your mouth water.

"What are you cooking? I hope you made tons of it"? You moaned when you got to the kitchen, the aroma getting stronger.

"Its my fathers recipe. I knew you would like it. It's great for getting women pregnant. Just look at me". Nestor said with a wink coming over to you and kissed your head. You wrapped your arms around him.

"How was the doctors? Everything okay"? He asked looking down at you.

"Everything's wonderful". You grinned from ear to ear.

"Really? Just last night you didnt want to go.  What changed"?

"Oh just the two little lives growing inside me". You swiftly pulled out the sonogram and put it in his face with a squeal.

"You're joking? What? How? Oh my god". He picked you up, kissing your lips.

"Babies. We had tons of sex and oh my god is right. We finally did it. The doctor said they look healthy".

"Oh baby, I'm so happy and so very thankful". Nestor held you tight. All his dreams were coming true.

"Me too.  But I'm not taking any chances. I'm putting myself on bedrest and we're going to start eating healthier foods. No delicious tub of icecream or chips or tacos". You frowned licking your lips. Now the cravings start.

"Babe, you can have all of that just eat it a little at a time. Foods not going to hurt you. Might make you nauseous or give you heartburn but you have to eat".

"I know. I'm just scared. Because we dont know what caused the miscarriages. Anything can be a trigger. We just have to be careful and watch out for signs".

"We will. Um, can we not tell anyone until we know for sure we're out of the woods"?

"I was thinking the same thing. I don't want to get anyone's hopes up if they will be torn apart. I'm scared to get excited but I am. I cant for these jellybeans to be in our arms. Safe and sound". You squeezed Nestor. He was so happy. But the little voice said something could go wrong. Praying that it didnt.

During your pregnancy, you had one scare but that was it. You made it to 38 weeks then your water broke. Then the real nervousness kicked in. The babies room was prepared and you had everything they needed. You were just nervous about them getting here.

Luckily they came out healthy and strong with tons of hair.

Cruz Valentino Oceteva weighed 7lbs 4oz. He looked just like Nestor and a head of hair. Nestor tried to braid it like his. He succeeded in doing so. Heartburn was the worst.

Maya Jade Oceteva weighed 6lbs 2oz. Se was a lot smaller than her brother but was a strong little girl. You know how they say you carry them for nine months and they come out looking like their father. That's true. She looked like Nestor but with your nose. And a head full of hair that you put little bows in.

God you were so lucky to have Nestor and the babies. Life was complete. Well maybe. Another kid wouldnt hurt. Or three. But for now you were going to enjoy the baby moments and the smell of their little heads. Which you and Nestor took turns sniffing each of the babies heads.

[nobody-knose--archive]

hello! i recently re-stumbled upon one of your hawaii part ii music theory posts and i thought id ask about Murders and its wack af time signatures. i havent been able to make any real sense of it other than it feels like its in 3 sometimes??? unless im overthinking and should just accept it as like 1/1 time lol

hm. well, first of all some lovely people on sites such as musescore have transcribed murders themselves, giving a quick & easy look into how those time signatures seem arranged. still, i think i'd like to do my own analysis, because if thinking of good day as including sections of 3 4/4 measures + 1 1/4 measure & interpreting neil cicierega's use of 10/4 to really just be 2 4/4 measures & a 2/4 one stacked on top of each other in a trench coat tells me anything, it's that i can have some personal music notation interpretations. as a treat.

murders is most easily understood when broken down into as many little sections as possible. for example, "i was in the middle ground, looking to find the" is in an easy 6/4. "fountain of infinite mirror" and the whole rest of that chorus is generally all in 6/4 (as one would expect the chorus to be one of the most straightforward/comprehensible parts of a song). however, "flowers in the garden" & other things that can follow the line [format of] "looking to find the" are very different. i'll call that the verse format, and cover it using the first verse.

to cover the first verse i have to say that the whole song starts off with a 9/4 measure that can't be described any other way because the piano chords part, as often as possible, is completely static staccato in articulation, and so where measures line up is most easily determined by other factors such as pitch changes or the lilt/cadence of the words. also, the verses generally start where the lyrics do, for simplicity's sake- if "owls on the night watch," a verse with the same structure as "he was in the forest" has the onbeat on "owls," then the onbeat should also be on "he," meaning everything preceding that first word in the song is just some silly little buildup. a measure of 9/4.

anyway! the first verse. "he was in the forest looking to see the" is a measure of 6/4, as previously stated ("looking to see the" & other similarly ending lines are in 6/4 throughout the song). "trees but none were there" is two measures of 3/4, "he found a girl" is 2/4. "she found the erlking (lalala)" is 5/4, making this whole first chunk a procession of (after a measure of 9/4) 6/4 3/4 3/4 2/4 5/4. i'm not simplifying the two measures of 3/4 in a row into 6/4 or the 2/4 & 5/4 into 7/4 due to the placement of the emphasis. this analysis will be pedantic like that. the next verse follows the same format; this will be called the verse format and is really the only terribly complex sequence in this song.

we break away from the verse format with "i was in the middle ground looking to find the" which, as previously stated, is just more 6/4, and that proceeds into another two instances of the verse format, then this "looking" line. then is the chorus, which as stated earlier, is just 6/4. the 6/4 proceeds all the way into "owls on the night watch," the start of another two verses, then back to the chorus.

"i was in the clearing" to "how they came to be" is in a lovely little 4/4, almost like a cruel teasing of how simple this song could be immediately before a piano break that is nigh-certainly designed to fuck with you. just kidding! it's two more instances of the verse format, complete with a "looking" line at the end. after that comes just a bunch of 3/4, then the slow part, which is in 4/4 (maybe 2/4?), as can be rather easily detected by the hi-hat (hi ross).

"all for nothing at all" continues in 2/4 (sure actually i say it's 2/4 i think we don't get enough of that in music), then the final line in the song is a 6/4 measure and a 4/4 one, just getting very slow. and there you have it! murders broken down as simply as need be.

[seijch]

ANNOUNCEMENT: NOT A HELLO, BUT NOT A GOODBYE EITHER

omg hi ... im like . ashamed to come back after saying brief hiatus in october and then disappearing off the face of the earth til FEBRUARY but under the cut i will be explaining myself and the following, if youre interested (and a tl;dr at the very bottom if you don’t wanna scroll thru this obnoxiously long post):

the reason(s) i was gone for so long

what i was doing during that time (its just a personal account yall can scroll past this idrc)

the status of those um . halloween requests

the future of this account

i. so . Hiatus .

i know. i know . i probably mentioned it when i made the announcement post, but my mental health likes to go on one of those rides. yknow the ones where you go like up rlly fast then down maybe and then up then DOWN .... its like that. i needed a break and every time i wanted to come back or thought about it, something would happen and i would get stuck in my own head.

a big reason for getting stuck in my head was (and i hate to admit this ... i hate to admit that i have Insecurities On The Internet) my feelings of inadequacy regarding my writing. i love to plot fics, i love concepts and characters and making little headcanons but i dont ... know if i love writing rn. and i thought for the longest time that like . whatever ill just push thru it its fine ill be fine but it kinda wasnt lmao you can kinda see it in my halloween reqs and what become of them when i get to that but i began to feel like nothing i had put out or would put out would hold up prose wise (and normally i dont feel like this im much more “idc its my life im living it” but thats not a rant for tumblr LMAO). i still feel like that -- like im better as a reader than a writer. but . You Know :-)

tl;dr: mental state go brrrrr

ii. anywhere here’s wonderwall

when i left, i was in a steadily decreasing mental and emotional state, made worse by a situation at work that really was a case of petty jealousy on my end and rlly isnt very consequential now despite how much pain and resentment it gave me when it Was a problem so i wont get into it. the tl;dr of november and december was me using work as an crutch and distraction -- i know my job, i do it well, it helped me not think about my responsibilities and obligations and inadequacies. of course, as the holiday season grew busier n busier i was scheduled so often that i moved 88 or so miles (according to my apple watch, which i ONLY wear at work since im never anywhere else outside my house) and fell into a cycle of showering n sleeping at my house before going back the next day. (theres definitely something to be said abt capitalism and “grind culture” here but once again its not the time or place snsjkdfds)

at the turn of the new year, i happened to remember a birthday card i hadnt filed away for safekeeping from a friend of mine that id been horribly out of touch with til that point. i started crying because i realized how out of touch id been in general up until that point. the month of january was great for me: i was focused, happy, and in a much better place than i had been before. the end of it brought me down focus wise and im hoping that enough time away from my distractions will refocus me bc i ... need it LMAO and though ive burned out from that level of productivity and gotten distracted again im ... trying to stay positive which i think is the most i can do 😁👍🏼

media wise, i got real into stardew valley (but burned out bc i played it extensively as a way to wind down after work), the pokemon platinum romhack renegade platinum (still havent finished it bc of school n i played it w the intent to see if i could nuzlocke it ... bitch its so hard but its so fun bc of it), briefly assassins creed: odyssey (im one of those ppl who completes an entire region before i move to the next so you can tell i burned out of that one + wouldnt have the time to properly devote to it even if i didnt), got back into genshin impact after pulling for xiao (after not touching it for like . months), and danganronpa. yes . danganronpa 😐 i Know. i stopped playing it after the second trial of the first game bc i was so hurt by the outcome and picked it up in late january only to get sucked in (thank god i had the foresight to buy the second and third games during the steam winter sale). rn im at the start of chapter 4 if anyone wants to come in my asks and um . talk to me abt danganronpa

tl;dr: I’m Into Danganronpa Now

iii. you realize halloween was three months ago right

i mentioned this in the first section, but i love to plot things. every request is plotted or at least has a solid foundation. i had fun detailing what concept i wanted to go with considering what i was given, and there were some bangers i might touch up in the future. but heres whats going to happen to the requests themselves:

there are two finished requests. one will be posted tomorrow and the other will be touched up (just bc i finished it doesnt mean its good 🧍‍♂️) and scheduled for next saturday. as for the ones i never got around to ...

i will not be finishing those requests. i hate to be That Person, but i feel like we all expected this 🧍‍♂️ what i will do is post all of my notes for each request in batches -- requests that have an @ to go with them will be mentioned in the post proper, but anon asks will be pictured. (there are some asks that came from blogs who are now deactivated but i wrote down all the prompts and remember most of those askers so ill cross that bridge when i get there) there will most likely be an excerpt or two simply bc i think i mightve written a few plot points or interactions in the form of bullet points. i rlly am sorry about doing this but i remember looking at my notion doc with all the prompts and feeling ... like i wasnt measuring up n it wasnt just to myself or to some intangible concept of “other” id constructed but it was instead to those who requested n actually WANTED to see and hear and read my writing and i ...... im gonna admit thats another big reason i avoided this site.

regardless, youll definitely get what i have (and likely more than just my bullet points and illegible handwriting).

tl;dr: im sorry. what i have in terms of plot, concept, and interaction for every request will be posted, but i cant say ill ever complete them and mean it.

iv. so what now?

well i mean . im not entirely sure how sold i am on haikyuu in the content creation department (as a creator n to a lesser extent, as a consumer). as mentioned previously, its no longer my primary focus. it doesnt mean im not into haikyuu anymore; i have a lot of love for those boys but i cant rlly say im even caught up w recent fandom activity and also havent even finished s4 pt2 LMAO thats on my to do list

and despite all that, i still want to share my plots n concepts and snippets and maybe even fics. it wont happen anytime soon. it might not even happen. but i mean . its better than me saying i wont write ever again shjdkfs but either way ill probably use this blog as a personal blog w the occasional ask game for dialogue prompts (those are always so fun i love making up aus to fit like . the most mundane prompts)

as for my works (past and any potential future), ive opened an ao3 acc here n ill be editing n possibly expanding on my old works to post there. tumblr, to me, is The x reader hub, but i figure more x reader fics on ao3 is never a bad thing.

ill be deleting/posting drafted posts to the queue since they were all meant to be queued anyway as well as (sorry again 🧍‍♂️) deleting or answering asks in the inbox. (moots if you get a notif from me saying i rbed your post from months ago ... mind your business) im very hard to get ahold of and its ... a problem. expect an overhaul of the nav n shit to reflect my new direction n also because i feel like i cant tell if my passion for carrd is shared by the majority HSDKLFS maybe its better to read my info in a normal post ykwim .......

and of course . if youve read all this n decided im no longer worth the follow, i sure as hell cant stop you. thank you for wanting to, at some point, hear what i have to say -- it means more than you think.

tl;dr: writing will be edited and reposted to ao3, this blog will be a personal blog with a hint of writing (sometimes)

the tl;dr to end all tl;drs:

im back! i wont be as active as i used to due to a lessened interest in haikyuu in general, but i have an ao3 acc now where all my past work will be edited, possibly expanded, and reposted. any future work will also find itself there. my halloween requests will be posted in batches as incomplete concepts, plots, and snippets of scenes; i wont be promising to finish any of them.

there are still fic concepts im attached to and want to finish, but i cant promise any more writing on my end. this blog will be a personal blog with maybe writing, not a writing blog with my personal thoughts all over it.

regardless if you stick around or not, its been crazy sexy cool (equal emphasis) being on haikyuu tumblr even tho i wasnt around for long ... even tho its not my main focus anymore, im still excited to see what the future might hold 🤝

love, ari 💌

[flowerslightning]

(Part 2) Cloud Strife and his Mental Illness

a.k.a Psychiatric Disorder

| 1. Memory | ⇦ Click if u havent read it yet

2. Hallucinations, Illusions and Delusions

Since these three things relate well with Cloud's troubled memories, I'll be talking about them first before jumping to his Confused Personality

This post will bore u a bit or maybe a lot 😂 it depends. If ure interested with psychiatric stuff, u'll find this enjoyable as much as i do

Disclaimer : I'm 21 and still a tiny meany student. During my intern at Psychiatric Department, I learned and witnessed psychiatric problems from real life patients. And since Cloud (my fav FF character) has psychiatric issues, I'll be sharing some of my knowledge and interpretation of Cloud's character. Im not diagnosing him, rather i'm giving my own opinion about his status

@nibelheiim created a post about dissociation, she explained about hallucination, PTSD and more. Come and check her out! Her words were more direct and easier to understand. She explained about Psychological matter and she's a real psychology student too!

While my explanation will be more focusing on Psychiatric Topic and words used will be more complicated (with grammar errors). My facts will be based on ICD 10 and DSM-IV

A lot of people were confused with these three terms - Hallucination Illusion Delusion - These terms associated with abnormalities of perception. It is important to understand that this abnormality holds two keys; ● 1. Perception is the process of becoming aware of what is presented through the sense organs. ● 2. Imagery is an experience originating within the mind that usually lacks the sense of reality that is part of perception.

Abnormalities of perceptions have 4 theme, but I'll be focusing on two major types that relate with Cloud: (i) Hallucinations ; (ii) Illusions. Some cases, perception can be normal in intensity and quality but has a changed meaning for the person who experiences it - it is called as Delusional Perception. It is not an abnormal of perceptions, rather it is a disorder of a person's thinking.

Try guessing, how many from these terms does Cloud has?

1. Hallucinations

- A perception experienced in the absence of external stimulus to the corresponding sense organ. Eg - patient hears a voice when no one is speaking within a hearing distance or patient sees something approaching him when visually no one is there. There are 2 qualities to determine a hallucination: ●it is experienced as a true perception●it seems to come from outside of the head●

The above gif, where Sephiroth suddenly appear again before Cloud's eyes even able to touch Aerith's shoulder, it illustrate perfectly the 'Visual Hallucination'. No one can see Sephiroth, other than Cloud himself.

Cloud [Remake] kinda had anxiety when he stared at the fire and later he saw Sephiroth surrounded with flames, then poof, that silver guy disappeared along with the images of fire. He said he was hallucinating stuff after the first bombing mission. Idk how Sephiroth could create fake images of fire around him, either Cloud was really hallucinating or it was really Sephiroth that came to see him. But, this is what we call as 'Visual and Auditory Hallucinations'. Cloud SAW Sephiroth and HEARD him talking when no one else did. I can also add in 'Tactile Hallucination' because he probably felt the burning sensation on his skin from the flame around him that caused him to feel hot and sweating, or probably it was his anxiety that caused him sweating upon meeting Sephiroth with the flashback of his burning hometown

Hallucinations can occur in all sensory modalities; visual, olfactory, auditory etc. In the Remake, the Whispers could only be seen by certain people. To those who couldnt see it, they would be puzzled what was happening to u, and would've thought that u were hallucinating something, like in the case of Aerith.

In Cloud's case, perhaps Cloud [In OG] had auditory hallucination due to his severe case of Mako Addiction. But then, that wasnt exactly a hallucination though, cuz the thing he said "'Coming.. They're coming" was actually true. A monster fell from the sky.

Other 'hallucinations' that Cloud had was the images of Sephiroth that appeared in certain headache. Cloud may claimed it was his hallucinations, but i've read it somewhere that says it was really Sephiroth appeared before his eyes. Sephiroth was messing with Cloud's mind, trying to break his mental in order to control him. However, IF IT WASNT SEPHIROTH that came, Cloud's 'hallucination' would be known as a mental disorder that may lead to severe case - eg Schizophrenia.

2. Illusions

An illusion is a misperception of an external stimulus. It often occur in several circumstances: (i)level of sensory stimulation reduced (ii)attention is not focused on the sensory modality (iii)level of consciousness reduced (iv)being in a state of intense emotion- fear.

Does Cloud has it? Urm, maybe? Well, it can be proven when he saw his 'noisy neighbour next door' as Sephiroth. As stated above, illusions occur in 4 conditions, and Cloud was in number (i) and (iv). When Tifa yelled him to stop, Cloud came back to reality and got really confused when the 'Sephiroth' that attacked him was actually a sick guy. We can also add in 'Hallucinations of Deep sensation' in this scenario bcause Cloud experienced the feelings of being pushed down by 'Sephiroth'.

However, we all know that 'Sephiroth' was real at that moment. For Cloud, he thought it was an illusion, but for us the audience, it was a real thing.

If u want a better explanation and example, try watching Joker the movie. The main theme of the movie was 'mental illness'. There are lots of scenes that shows different type of hallucinations, illusions and also personality disorder.

3. Delusions

a.k.a fixed false belief. A belief that is held firmly despite evidence contrary. A delusion is nearly always a false belief but not always so. There are around 11 types of delusions according to the book. Half of it may suggest Shcizophrenia. Schizophrenia is certainly not in Cloud's case. I've studied one by one the type of delusions and none of them match with Cloud FF7.

I will surely give anyone a good punch in the face if they dare to say Cloud suffers from Schizophrenia. I've met with bunch of patients having it, and the way they see this world is totally different from us.

In some other cases, eg a spiritualist convince a person to believe in his spiritualism and he present with contrary evidence to the non-believer. This non-delusional belief is called 'overvalued ideas'

Overvalued ideas is an isolated , preoccupying and strongly held belief that dominates a person's life and may affect his action. One of the easiest example i can come up with; a friend who had skin cancer may be convinced to her roomate that cancer is contagious, and her roomate suspects any abnormal skin conditions she has is an evidence to show she too, may have developed the same cancer, when the truth is, she's just completely fine.

It is very hard to distinguish between a delusion and overvalued ideas.

I had a patient, he was diagnosed with Schizophrenia. He looked like an ordinary man, but when he talked, it sounded so unreal. He said he had jumped off from 10th floor several times and didnt get a scratch from it. He believed he wont die bcause he had gained super power. He even convinced me to try his 'so-called-secret technique- on how to survive a jump. By doing that often, I will have a superpower like him - a strong physical body. Up until now, I still dont know if he was being deluded with his thought or he was overvalued his idea, bcause from his psychiatric record, he did try to jump off from the second floor of his apartment's balcony a few times.

So, Im not really sure of myself did Cloud [FF7] really had delusion or not. Well, he believed he made it to SOLDIER bcause he had mako eyes. But was it something we called as delusion or was he just overvaluing his idea? He didnt know the truth and his memory messed up. No one could explain to him why he had Mako eyes, except Prof Hojo and Zack who knew the truth

Besides, after Tifa helped with his memory, Cloud accepted the fact he wasnt in SOLDIER. For patient who deluded with their own thoughts, they hardly could believe what people told him.

However, surely Cloud [in AC] had delusions of guilt and worthlessness due to the fact that he believed he had done something shameful and sinful - the main trigger of this theme was, he got infected with Geostigma while he was searching a cure for Denzel. Cloud got depressed with the loss of Aerith and the memory of Zack death had returned, but I think he was recovering very well in that two years time skip. The moment he got Geostigma, he became deluded he was worthless and his depression kicked in again.

Hallucinations and Illusions are normal to be experienced by healthy people, but it wont be if u encounter too many hallucinations & illusions in 2 weeks time. Believe it or not, a lot of people around us are actually mentally ill bcause some of them may have excessive certain delusions, such as delusions of jealousy, grandiose delusions, nihilistic, paranoid etc. Although 'it is consider as normal' in a few circumstance, a few cases need to refer to psychologist and in severer cases, must refer to psychiatrist. If u follow Dr Phil's show, u'll see a bunch of patients have different kind of crazy delusions.

Overall from my statement above, I would conclude that since Sephiroth always appear before Cloud's eyes, this resulting Cloud to think he has both Hallucination and Illusion, when in fact, he's just a normal guy with amnesia and personality confusion. Cloud doesnt have Delusion like how many fans said, neither he has an overvalued idea, even with the evidence of Mako eyes supporting his reasoning + he's a great fighter. I will have to say that perhaps it is his brain defence mechanism that tricks his mind to believe he is a Soldier.

If only Sephiroth stop disturbing Cloud's life, it will be a lot faster to fix Cloud. Tifa alone will be the main strength to get Cloud back to normal. Ah, but this is the beauty of the game. Life wont be exciting without the presence of a beautiful villain and a love triangle (Tifa-Cloud-Sephiroth). Lol Technically I see them trying to fight for Cloud's mental health. Tifa wants to help Cloud with his mental status while Sephiroth is trying to destroy it. Lolololol

My crack theory : Sephiroth says he's going to take Cloud's most precious thing, and he ends up choosing to kill Aerith, but ofc there's another reason why Aerith got killed. But if Sephiroth kills Tifa first, I think he can take over Cloud's mind faster, because then, no one will be holding Cloud back. Honestly no one can ever will, not even Aerith. So does that mean Sephiroth doesnt know about Cloud's deepest secret or is Cloud just good at hiding his weakness?

I WILL UPDATE THE NEXT POST LATER because I've reached tumblr limit images agaiiin. The next part will be focusing about his personality - Personality Disorder

If there is any part that I've mistaken, pls correct me. I'm sorry for my english. English is not my native language, so there are plenty of grammar errors.

[fusionchaos]

was tagged by @ratcoon16

Rules: tag 9 people you would like to get to know better/catch up with

Last Song: Kickstart My Heart - Mötley Crüe

Last Movie: Tales From The Far Side Vol. II(if you can count that as a movie,,,? its like 45 minutes as well as the first one on Youtube . animated fave old comics hell yeah) the last movie my Family & i tried to watch was Land of The Lost(another old fave) , but we got tired before it hit the halfway mark so .....what we've been thinking about watching !!! The Thing(the old one) . Perfect weather for it ;^)) *is literally in a possible 5-day-long blizzard atm*

Currently Watching: gonna go from most to least likely gonna finish soon ; 1.) Metalocalypse(have 8 episodes and idk How many clips left) 2.) The Boys(saw the 1st episode of the second season & stopped there because Wow) 3.) Good Omens LITERALLY ONE MORE EPISODE LEFT AND WE WILL CRY FOR IT 4.)Truth Seekers

Currently Reading: Clive Barker's Weaveworld(when i'm not too crazy for it .....havent touched it in a regrettable amount of time tbh)

Currently Craving: a warm spot to smoke at , warm food that actually sounds good , & a genuine , "it's okay if you cry on me i know it's hard" hug QvQ

Tagging: i don't normally do this , but here @papabigtoes @bemey you don't gotta if you don't wanna but yea

[patrocool]

i.

It was early morning in Financial District. Commuters bustled around the siblings as they exited the subway station onto William Street. The pair stopped abruptly in front of the shop just outside of the station, much to the dismay of a woman behind them, who nearly ran into them with a curse.

Sarah Jacobs had worked hard to get to this point. And damn it, she was proud of herself. Sure, it didnt look like a lot right now- a tiny little hole in the wall right next to the entrance to the A and C train that was probably about the size of her bedroom in her tiny Manhattan apartment- but it was hers and she was proud to own the place.

Davey held up the key with a soft smile. "Planning on going in any time soon?" He asked lightly. She grinned as she took the key from his fingers and unlocked the door, stepping in. It was musty, dusty, dirty, and a bit stuffy, but none of that mattered. What mattered was what it was going to look tomorrow, and then the next day, and the day after that.

She clapped her hands together and set down her bag of cleaning supplies. "We've got a lot of work to do, Davey!"

ii.

Davey carefully placed the finishing touches on the flowers in stock, making them look nice in their holders. He stepped back, hands on his hips, and smiled. He turned to watch his sister as she carefully wrote the last few things on her chalkboard behind the counter.

The store looked perfect. Picturesque, to the point where Davey wouldnt be surprised if photographers came in looking for the perfect picture. Sarah set down her chalk and brushed her fingers off on her apron. She turned, nervously brushing stray hairs behind her ears, and straightening her light blue blouse. "Hows it look, David?"

He gave her two thumbs up. "It looks like a hipster's wet dream," he promised her teasingly.

She laughed and threw a rag at him. "You're such an ass, get out of my store with your gross face! You're gonna be late for class."

He snickered and leaned over the counter to grab his bag. "I'll turn on the open sign and unlock the door on my way out. If I dont, you probably never will."

As he left, he saw a young woman hesitating outside, looking curious. He held the door open. "Going in?" He asked.

She shook her head and hurried away down the street. He shrugged and headed to class. Sarah would have customers soon enough.

iii.

After the fourth day of trying to peek in the flower shop to and from class, Katherine Plumber finally gave in and slipped inside. A soft ring of the bell alerted the quiet shop, and she looked around in awe. Exposed brick on one wall, plants in baskets hung from the ceiling, fairy lights strung across the walls. Beautiful displays of potted plants and cut flowers alike. A chalkboard hung behind the counter listed prices and deals and specials, and then the most beautiful woman Katherine had ever laid eyes on came out of the back room, smiling brightly at the sight of a customer.

Dark hair in loose curls that reached her ribs, brown eyes that seemed to sparkle in the light, circle frame glasses perched on her nose. She wore a yellow turtleneck and high waisted mom jeans with scuffed converse, and a well worn apron. On her apron, someone stitched in the name "Sarah" with blue thread.

"Can I help you with anything?" The shopkeeper asked her cheerfully, and Katherine never felt more out of place.

"Just- just looking," she stammered awkwardly. She tugged at the sleeves of her leather jacket, glancing down at the pins and patches adorning it and hoping there wasnt anything that the sweet shopkeeper would take the wrong way. Usually, she didnt care if other people didnt like her opinions, but damn it, the girl was pretty as all get out, and her big ass "punch nazis in the face" patch on her back didnt really fit with the whole soft flower shop vibe.

She bit her lip, looking at the plants and trying not to stare at the girl. She focused on the many different colors of roses instead.

"'Fuck Cops'- now that's a sentiment I can get behind," the girl said, but she was so much closer this time, and Katherine jumped at the sudden noise.

Katherine blinked slowly. "Oh, uh. Yeah," she said, and laughed a little, internally cringing. God, she sounded like an idiot.

She giggled. "Sorry, I'm just excited to see a customer. I havent had a lot so far, I just opened a couple days ago."

"I know," Katherine said quickly, and quickly winced when the girl cocked a brow. "Sorry, no, I meant, I know you opened a couple days ago, I take the A train to school every day, so."

She snorted and nodded. "I see, a bit less creepy when you put it like that," she said teasingly. She held out a hand to shake. "I'm Sarah. Welcome to Newspaper Row Flowers."

"Katherine," she replied, shaking her hand. She smiled a bit. "You know Newspaper Row was actually over on Park Row, right? Next to City Hall?"

Sarah laughed, cheeks pink. "Oh, I know. It's because my great grandmother used to own a flower shop over next to the old Tribune building on Park Row, and that's what she called it. She lost her shop in the Depression though, and died when I was young, and it was my mom's dream to open a flower shop in her honor. She never managed to, and uh. Well, she died too, a couple years ago, so I did it."

Katherine's heart felt like it was melting in her chest. God, how could she already have so much affection for this girl she only just met? "I'm sorry for your loss. But you've really created something wonderful here, and I'm sure they would both be proud."

Sarah beamed, and Katherine would do anything to make her smile like that again.

iv.

"And so Davey's like 'what the fuck', and Les is like 'who is this guy' and Jack is straddling the windowsill, looking at us like he expects my dad to get a gun, and finally, Dad is like 'hes not Catholic, is he?' And poor Davey is like 'no, pa', and for some godforsaken reason, Mom assumes that means hes Jewish. And knowing he doesnt have a family, immediately invites- and by invites, I mean loosely intimidated- Jack to come celebrate all holidays with us. And so now, instead of breaking it to Mom that Jack isnt religious, Davey just let's them believe it. Cause I mean, they're pretty fine with the whole gay thing, but god forbid we be romantically involved with someone who isnt Jewish." Sarah finished explaining with a laugh and roll of her eyes. "So yeah, that's why Jack is here fucking around with a dreidel even though Hanukkah has passed. Hes convinced that theres a secret trick to it that he has to master by next year."

Jack looked up and pouted sourly in her direction. "We all know Davey cant be that good based on luck alone!" He said for the thousandth time.

Katherine laughed, elbows on the counter. Her red curls were pulled back in a ponytail and she had her signature leather jacket on. "Sounds like your family is a real fun bunch. Ironically, my dad is the exact opposite, he doesn't care if I dont marry into a Jewish family, but he very much cares if I marry a girl."

Sarah made a face. "Gross. He sounds like such an ass whenever you talk about him."

Katherine nodded. "Probably because he is," she said very seriously. And then the two erupted into giggles.

"Ew, go get a room," Jack complained.

"You're in my shop, Kelly!"

V.

"Sarah, I need your help with something." Katherine came in looking nervous, an expression Sarah rarely saw on her friend.

"Of course, anything, what do you need?" Sarah said immediately, abandoning the flowers she was making out of newspapers.

Katherine swallowed, pausing. Her fingers fidgeted with the necklace around her neck. "Um. Well. There's uh... there's this girl I really like. And she... she's just amazing, and I want to tell her that I really like her. And she loves flowers, so..."

Sarah smiled and cooed, even though her chest hurt an awful lot. "That's so-" heartbreaking? Disappointing? Sad? "-cute! Flowers are such a good way to express feelings. Do you want to do it through flower language or do you have specific flowers you want to do it with?"

Katherine bit her lip. "Well, I was hoping a bit of both, but I'm not sure what kind of flowers she likes, so I was hoping you'd help with that."

Sarah nodded. "Of course! Let's get to work, hm?"

In the end, the bouquet consisted of red carnations (admiration), gardenias ("you're lovely"), mistletoe ("kiss me"), and white violets ("let's take a chance on happiness"). Sarah very gently wrapped the stems in newspaper and tied it with some twine while Katherine wrote something on a card.

Katherine paid and took the bouquet from Sarah, carefully fixing the card in it. She stayed after the transaction, simply standing there and staring at the flowers in her arms.

"What are you waiting for? Go get your girl!" Sarah chastized with a laugh. She needed Katherine to leave so she could take an early lunch and cry a little.

"You're right," Katherine said. She took in a big breath and let it out slowly before jutting her arms out, offering the bouquet. "Here."

"What?" Sarah asked, eyebrows furrowed. "Did you change your mind or-"

"They're for you," Katherine said, staring at the wall. "Just- read the card?"

Sarah blinked slowly and took the bouquet carefully, and opened the card.

In it was written simply:

"I like you, Sarah. Have since I first came into your shop. And I'd like you even more if you went to dinner with me?"

Sarah very gently put the bouquet down on the counter. And then she kissed Katherine.

+1

A year and a half later, Sarah come home to find a bundle of myrtle at her place on the table. Instead of a string, there was a ring. Myrtle, the Hebrew emblem of marriage.

Katherine cleared her throat, smiling softly. "Your parents will have at least one kid who marries into a Jewish family. If-if you say yes, that is."

Sarah's eyes filled with tears. "How could I not?"