#*worries incredibly hard*
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Aromanticism Zine but it's just my incoherent thoughts.
#quack#aromantic#aroace#can you tell i got temporarily incredibly fed up with my grandparents 'we just worry about you' comments#anyway blah blah i know this isn't an universal experience this is just my scattered thoughts#also I've thought a lot recently about aromantic as a non split attraction model identity#i guess in theory I'm asexual but i just. feel like my aromanticism is a much bigger part of my identity and that for ME#my aromanticism goes together with my asexuality in a way that's hard to explain and even harder to seperate#anyway#I'm hesitant to post this because i hate how vulnerable it makes me feel and i worry about people not understanding that this is MY experien#experience and i know it's not universal
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End of Empathy (time for violence)
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan jingyi#jin ling#lan sizhui#We are back to the present! Honestly I think I'm going to try and truncate the rest of this arc.#I LOVE yi-city and I really appreciate all of the support the yi-city lovers have given me. And the patience of those who aren't.#But it's been two months. And I need to move this along </3#Anyways; I love the start of ep 3 so much. The worried concern of the juniors is so cute#but the crown jewel by far is wwx responding like a parent that's very hungover but trying so hard to be nice about it#like 'shhh shhhh guys hi I'm up now. Can you keep the volume down. Can you get me some water and my sunglasses from the glovebox.'#and of course the incredible wham line of 'Xue Yang Must Die.'#'Is YX irredeemable? I'm pro 'everyone is capable of change and deserves a chance.' So Im of the camp of 'if he had the opportunity...maybe#The issue is that this setting has no structure to provide those opportunities. You are perceived as a threat therefor you must die#XY is a very interesting parallel to the YLLZ because they both meet the same fate: outsiders determining that they need to be killed#plus both did war crimes. I know it's easy to forget the YLLZ actually did do some of the things he was accused of (most wrong)#but wwx also has blood on his hands. He also sought revenge in pretty twisted ways. Both were given opportunities to step away and refused#The difference is that we empathize with and like XXC & SL and A-Qing. The Narrative says they were wronged and that is an injustice.'
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I really like @theratpy‘s Dr. Zo :D I like him for normal reasons don’t even worry about it don’t read into it at all haha (Patreon)
Bonus Ratticus
#Doodles#Theratpy#Dr. Zo#Ratticus#And no one else don't worry about it#Which is to say please watch Theratpy! Such lovely stylization especially with the heartbeat animation ah#So cool how they move and the lineart moves! So cool!#I deeply enjoy how especially Zo is shaped he's incredibly pretty (this is known) lol#Incredibly predictable behaviour on my part I will not apologize I see pretty lad I draw pretty lad that's the rules#In all seriousness and not-jokes the rat style does lend really well to the Vargases..........just sayingggg lol#There'll be some in the next sketchdump ahem ahem they're pretty and cute wah!#Which I mean I'd be more than happy to tag again for credit purposes At The Least but just as well not to bother either whichever however#Just such a cuuuute and prettyyyyy style ahhhh#I enjoy very much please go enjoy also <3#The little ear flicks are probably my favourites hehe#Oh and hands lovely stuff <3 Fuzz and sharp nails! Yes! I like that very much#I tried to mostly style-match here but I can't escape my hand-habits of how I draw collars lol I don't think I quite got that#But all the same I'm still pleased! :D I enjoyed to draw and enjoyed the turnout! Hooray both#I did keep running out of room for his whiskers tho overlapping lines are hard to keep clean ahh#Especially with my love of movement lines lol everything crowded!#Still still still - pleased! Happy! Yay! :D#Good lads ♪
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#fucks me up that there are two whole new animals in the house that i barely know#who depend on me for everything#barely recognize me as a friend or helper#and are so incredibly incredibly fragile#i got worried for junie today because her spay incision had some swelling#and it's normal to have some and i have seen it before#but after what we just wemt through i got upset and rushed her to the vet#who said it was fine and thankfully we have free office visits#but i was so upset even though i knew it was probably normal#i look at them and i see adorable cuddly sweet TEMPORARY things and i feel like something inside me got broken somehow#and i was right all along that after it was all over i would come back but not quite as myself#i just hadn't fully understood the extent#we are keeping them and it sort of had to happen when it did but i think it was too early for me#they are so cute and when they do cuddle it's so sweet and obviously i would fight for them as hard as i would for Fancy#because that's just how the deal works and it isn't about you at all it's about how they each carry a little world inside them just as we d#and that deserves equal respect and care regardless of my personal affections#but i look at them and i see little creatures that don't belong here and are foreign in some fundamental way#and that they will be gone in just a little while and things will go back to how they were#which is impossible#we will settle in and i doubt anything i am feeling is abnormal but I'm really struggling and i feel so bad about that#i don't know#it's just a lot to deal with#and i feel very lonely and sad about it#and under it all the sick feeling of having JUST held all three lads as they passed and the VISCERAL reality of it#and knowing one day if everything goes just right i will be holding them too#dear god life is so fragile and every living thing is just as mortal as any other
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Incredibly irrevelant fh drawings!! Let's go team!!
#fantasy high#fabian seacaster#kristen applebees#riz gukgak#kalina#fh#d20#dimension 20#midnight draws#old sophomore sketches....need to do more digital jy art my god#am i incredibly worried about pacing and how theyre gonna make all this work. yes. am i begging for at least one rage token. also yes.#am i having a fantastic time and constantly laughing so hard i shake the bed? ALSO ALSO YES.
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NYEHEHEHEHEHE
#monster hunter#monster hunter cosplay#my cosplay#cosplay#OH MY GOD#im over the moon happy with this costume#i worked so hard on it i was worried nothing could match my expectations but i adore how it turned out and wearing it#its so much fun and so CUTE#also super comfortable#overall an incredibly positive wearing experience#which is crazy considering how much i hated it with a burning passion when i was just starting this project but it really turned around
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okay i know i just posted selkie SC art earlier but i drew this and i think it's very cute so behold. extra art
#pitch posts#tommy's stickmen tag#tommy's aus#tommy's stick!alan#selkie sticks au#tommy's tiny SC#baby and their very concerned cursor dad :]#don't worry he's being incredibly gentle. if SC really tried they could probably drag him along#bc he doesn't use most of his power. he doesn't like grabbing onto them too hard it makes him nervous
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Do you... Need anything? I know we don't know eachother well enough to be friends but I just wanted to make sure. Because I'm not okay and you're clearly not okay and this is all just really upsetting. I just feel like seeing if I can help at all is the bare minimum that I can do.
don’t worry, im doing better. just need to cool down a bit so i don’t have an autism meltdown (normally i do shutdowns but this is the kind of situation that gets me noisy) and post anything stupid out of frustration outside of what i already have. i grew up with Underverse and XTale and jakei as my inspo so it really hurts seeing this sort of thing end. im not good with change so it’s affecting me a lot but im trying 2 ground myself. god this sounds so dramatic i hate this
me when autism actually affects how i live my day to day life and process things people find upsetting but not nearly as world changing as i view them: 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯😧😧😦
#torn between ‘it’s just a digital show this is so immature to be upset over get OVER it wick!!!’ and ‘i have a disorder that literally makes#these things hard to process and incredibly upsetting i am allowed to be this way’#but yeah im doing better#don’t worry bout me#take care of yourself!!!#cause someone really cares about you
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I'm sorry...I had more planned, but then there was all the bees...then the pond......uh, the fire...
#welcome home#welcome home fanart#frank frankly#eddie dear#eddie x frank#In which Eddie has a Genuinely Excellent Plan to woo the Grouchy Bug Enthusiast and everything goes comically (for everyone but Eddie) wron#He's just gutted of course he worked so hard on this heartfelt confession#I wouldn't worry eddie... I think the effort itself touched him#Frank who's secretly had a crush on the mailman for months and is trying not to tear up: It's...it's perfectly adequate.#Unaffiliated with the incredible Welcome Home creation I'm just a fan having fun!
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post-ironic thirst trapping
#gelmo#i don’t have any friends in sg to go to dance classes with so instead i have been going to the g*m lately#for lack of better option in this wretched city#in this photo i’m clenching my buttcheeks incredibly hard. don’t worry i never look like this irl
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Sometimes selfcare is gathering incorrect quotes to use for your OC's
#Self doubt is so funny like wdym I'm afraid of sharing my work with the incredibly wholesome online community that is my followers?#I just finished up some art for a display and my commissions#And I can feel burnout crawling up my back#I also have a pretty important phone call tomorrow#Health related call right after work sooo ye#pretty scared for that#Ontop of trying to write stuff for Hired Sparky and being worried about all my hard work being for nothing#I love writing Muppet related stories and working on Hired Sparky but I feel like my stories get the least amount of engagement out of all#my stuff#Which is really disheartening#I want people to love my work and my characters and I want them to feel developed#But I just feel like I haven't really been doing a good job of that recently??#Vent#Palette talks
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i know i only posted like. 2 pieces of red dead art so far. but what you don't know/understand is that i have a folder full of just random bullshit ive been frantically drawing on a daily basis for the past weeks + a bajillion more wips in store because i've been trying so damn hard to pace myself as well as still being cautiously anxious of alienating my followers
#i promise guys i pinkie pinkie prommie ill be posting more dmc still#and if you dont give a shit at all about red dead there'll be more of my usual shit soon enough too#i just. have a Problem#(and his name is john mars#as my friends have so eloquently said unfortunately i have Nero'd him#anyone who knows me will understand what that means and the subsequent gravity of the situation#also i know i shouldnt worry so much. like im the first who'll follow artists no matter what fandom even if ive completely lost the plot#and dont even know at all anymore what the source is theyre drawing for HOWEVER#i also have a Problem /neg#where i find it incredibly hard to post for reasons unknown to me#like it took me years to get comfortable posting my art online because theres some part of my gut that just#freezes up when i try to put it on the internet#and over time i overcame that barrier HOWEVER my brain is a dumb animal#and apparently seems to think that 'ok with posting art' thing only applies to dmc related stuff#like theres this Fear that grips me when i think of posting/sharing anything non dmc#it is not founded in reality or based on any rational thought/reason#in short. be patient w me brain machine broke but im SO unwell for these cowboys it is simply absurd to not post the fruits of this disease
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twitch makes 1000x more sense when i remember they only got out of the cage gardens like. 5< years ago. they do not have 40 years of life experiences. they still have to fuck around and find out
they're at the equivalent stage of when you just Did Shit as a kid to see what happens bc you don't know what happens yet. the stage where you should be gently guided to not stick your fingers into electrical outlets. except twitch is an adult so nobody is stopping them
#in all ways except physical twitch is my younger self needing a child leash#to stop me from trying to toddler kamikaze myself off the beach cliffs directly into the ocean for no fucking reason#i am always thinking about this but it's hard to explain bc i am always worried it'll come off weird#twitch is Not a child xD#100% adult. this is more like reaching your 20s as an incredibly nd adult and realising you can't do shit for yourself#but bass boosted x1000000#projection? yes#londonmusings#twitchery
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By the skin of your teeth (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#DAX#ZEX#Pyramid Head#The Captain#Blood#The cuts themselves are just black and white because I'm controlling myself lol - clearly not That much with the rest but hey!#Still it is a very nasty cut for how nonchalantly I've drawn them all haha - ZEX's back too he's just facing forward#I also momentarily forgot that he was in his uniform it's fine don't worry about it lol#All these speculations on where and how about the injuries and then just - What Uniform That I Am Enamoured By? Haha#I've done the same thing with DAX I keep forgetting about his poor ankle and then it comes up and I'm like ''Oh yeah haha I knew that''#How are some details so sticky and others so smoke-like! Some stay in my brain and others - pffbtl how silly#All the same it's still the Funnest Fun <3#There's something so Extra delightful to have Seen a setpiece - an object - an idea - and then get to interact with it <3 <3#Hitting Pyramid Head with Zelnick's frying pan! Forget PH I can't believe we had the budget for the skillet's appearance fee ♪♫ Hehehe#No but honestly Pyramid Head was incredible ✨ Wonderfully scary and distressing and tense and full of fallout! Terrible things!! ♪♫#I've never drawn him before so it was interesting! :0 His appearance in SH2 looks all squished#Like his belly is jutting out across from a broken spine! Quite spooky#I don't think I fully managed to capture that - kinda just looks like his hip bones are very prominent hehe - but maybe some other time :)#I hope they don't run into him again - for their sake tho haha ♪#DAX continually pulling ZEX behind him to try and protect him (and failing) was something I really Had to put to paper <3#As well as snuggles!! Even before they got Really hurt I was like Oh everyone needs hugs so bad :'0 And they do!! They need so many hugs!#Maybe especially Zelnick poor Captain :'0 Give this boy a break#The injuries are more of a self-guide hehe I'm not sure how accurate they are - they Feel accurate based on handedness et al#I was the least sure for Zelnick since he got tossed (poor thing!) but at least bruises are always fun to draw hehe#The return of my rainbow bruises lol - I only use three colours they're just so vibrant!#DAX trying so~ hard not to be taken in hehe what could these feelings be! Familiarly repressed? No surely not ♪#Be nice ♫
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👀 More haunted house designer au?! 👀 I love that concept so much so would be overjoyed if you ever decided to revisit it :)
😎i love it too. i wish i could tell you there are finally actually haunted houses in this one but unfortunately the girls are still working through it 😭 also i am working through it (editing 😭)
so in this one they're on a scouting-slash-forced teambuilding trip and it's um Going. it's a few thousand k of Meet The Ava wherein Ava is frustrated + up against it + dramatic, but also Meets The Beatrice.
anyway anyway it starts like this (subject to me finding it too cringey and editing it):
Ava sees her at the end of the pier, a dark figure in the already-dark; a smudge of barely-moving ink on the line between wind and water. Barely, indeed – wavering less than the yearning swallow and swoop of the waves interrupted by pillars of wood, and, further back, stone.
At night, after everything’s shut, this place is quiet until the fishermen get out in the early morning. In the off-season, even more so. Rain slings down frequently, and it’s not warm enough for balmy walks by the rocks. Not many come out, if any. Ava’s one.
She calls out as she walks down the planks, only thinking belatedly that perhaps she might not want to be disturbed. Out here behind the motel, unmoving under the preliminary drizzle of rain, embraced and cocooned by temperamentally warping air. It is, after all, that tremulous transitory phase between spring and summer that borrows its faces from both, and switches its masks sharply in the slit-time of blinks.
#also is it revisiting if they've always just been on my mind i'm just incredibly slow gsdufghw#truly writing is a muscle and i have not been working it out hard enough in my life#but don't worry anon even if nobody else in the world was interested i would still be putting them on rotating plinths in my head#i've some fun ideas for non chronological random snippets later i just think they need to narratively have their#The Girls Are Fightingggggg era first before it makes sense to have them where they are later?? you know??#but yeah i'm slow enough that if you have anything beyond this you wanna see 👀#wn haunted house au
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one thing I love about following celebrities/artists who are honest and proactive about their mental health struggles etc is I can’t count the number of times someone I know is going through something and I’m like ‘I’ve got a song for u’ and how much of my life involves telling myself ‘if [redacted] can do something/get better/etc then so can i’ (and having actual real evidence of it in front of me) and I can’t understate how much I appreciate these things.
but at the same time it involves a whole lot of watching people I care about suffer and you learn to read the signs and infer between the lines in songs and interviews, and yes we can never fully know what they don’t share with us, but when they do share things it’s not a big stretch to be like ‘this seems like it’s what life is like for you and I have taken encouragement from it but you deserve so much better’. and it’s easy to find ways to get angry at a predatory industry and realise things that could be hurtful if you’re already fragile.
and we can advocate for some things and help ourselves and the people around us feel better but it’s hard to meaningfully reach your faves as an individual. and there are things we can’t say on the internet in too much detail, speculation becomes the harmful kind of gossip, and so sometimes it’s a whole lot of internally saying ‘you’re doing incredibly well to have gotten to where you are but I wish for your sake things would get better faster’
#curse and catch 22 (not the song)#I didn’t mean to make this so anonymous as a post but maybe. it’s applicable to a lot of artists. I don’t know#just thinking about how sometimes someone will say something and it’s like ‘oh honey’ if you can see. why they might be saying it#like a glimpse into the top of an iceberg that makes a lot of sense to be there given other things they do and talk about#I feel like we’re in a unique position as a fandom with the way all four of them have been so vulnerable in different ways#and they may not be perfect but imo no one deserves to suffer like that especially for an extended amount of time. but the thing is#sometimes the fans are suffering and so are our faves and people appreciate the relatability and don’t have any basic compassion#or ability to see past their own struggles. with this fandom especially compared to a lot of others I’ve been in and I think I know why#but in the end the way I see it we’ve gotten so much relatable content and encouragement (bc the Finding The Positives Vibes which are ther#and sometimes there’s nothing we can give back apart from being a part of systemic change which all of us deserve for ourselves too#idk if this band is unique in this or I just find them more relatable personally and thus easier to see how hard they’ve worked#on themselves and taking risks in order to be honest. and it reminds me of the quote about how suffering won’t make your art better#healing will. and so imo anyone whose art is really good when they are going through a lot has me thinking. imagine what it’d be like#when life isn’t so hard for you?? or when you’re getting better but it just takes a long time I’m like. you deserve to feel better faster#this all said I’m incredibly proud and I’m not trying to insinuate there’s anything catastrophic going on bc there absolutely isnt#I am not in any way worried. I’ve seen tragedies about to happen and these guys show none of the signs. but I do relate to a lot of tidbits#pertaining to. certain chronic mental illnesses and/or being neurodivergent in an unaccommodating world (don’t ask which)#things I would anticipate would be a lot harder when there’s hordes of often fickle occasionally predatory fans to contend with#sometimes I just think of this idk#celebrities are people#5 seconds of summer#5sos#5sos fandom#cw mental health things
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