#*watching a movie made by some friends fucking around in their basement* lol why is the acting so bad 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[basketcase1982]

i think sometimes when ppl riff on low budget movies especially horror & horror comedy they forget that they’re self aware fairly often 😭 like half of the time that they’re mocking the line delivery they’re literally laughing at a Joke. that is funny on Purpose. u can’t compare every “bad” movie to the full dramatic sincerity of The Room (in fact just stop comparing everything to the room)

[maya-chirps]

Filipino Horror Movies for Halloween

My friends and I watched horror movies last night a day earlier than Halloween because they had prior commitments on the day and I have to say, it was more fun than we hoped for. We decided to watch two movies: a horror horror one, and a more funny horror one. Here's some of my thoughts for each one that we watched last night and some warnings if you want to watch them yourself.

Maria Leonora Teresa (2014)

Content Warnings: dolls, homophobia, child death, child abuse, gore, graphic murder scenes, demonic themes and imagery

Maria Leonora Teresa (2014) was our pick for horror horror. It's a pretty interesting film and although there were some parts that were a little corny, the overall plot was intriguing.

The story centers around three parents who lose their daughters, Maria, Leonora, and Teresa, in a bus accident during a field trip. Grief-striken and despondent, a mysterious man with sunglasses approaches them with a solution to help ease their pain — three dolls each with their daughters' likenesses. Things immediately start going wrong for the families and they're faced with the horrors of what the dolls would bring them and their loved ones.

The production wasn't the highest of quality but even with the cheaper CGI it was still a fun time and especially how uncanny some of their more practical make-up effects were. The writing was also awkward at times with corny one-liners that break up the tension of the movie too so it's not too scary, at least in my opinion (although I'm really good with horror so take it with a grain of salt lol).

The movie does deal with a lot of child death and even child abuse and is a very very gory movie so be advised before watching.

Watch Maria Leonora Teresa (2014) with English subtitles for free on YouTube here

Shake, Rattle & Roll XV (2014)

The second pick was for funny horror and we would be doing a disservice if we didn't watch the classic horror anthology series Shake, Rattle & Roll. We watched one of their last films before the sudden hiatus of the franchise Shake, Rattle & Roll XV (2014) and it held a lot of surprises.

Shake, Rattle & Roll is, as I said, a horror anthology series. Each movie is made up of three shorter films made by three different teams, and sometimes starring overlapping cast members. This is mainly the reason why this section is far longer than the first. The short films for SRR XV are: Ahas (Snake), Ulam, and Flight 666.

Ahas (Snake)

Content Warnings: snakes, child abuse, cannibalism, gore, vore(?)

Ahas is the first of these movies and centers around a local urban legend in the Philippines. Urban legend states that a local mall chain called Robinson's Galleria hides a dark secret in its basement — the serpentine child of the Mall's founders who stalk the women's changing rooms and kidnaps them when they're alone and vulnerable. This story takes inspiration from this and focuses on a similar mall that's about to reach their 25th Anniversary and the mysterious disappearances that had been happening in the building.

This was a pretty okay film with okay writing, with the main thing really pulling it back being it's special effects. With the limited budget, the concept of the movie wasn't met and honestly it's one of those films I wished had a larger budget and more time considering that a snake lady loose in a city would probably be really cool as a concept. Because of that, the ending also felt pretty rushed which sucks.

On the other hand, my friends and I were making monster fucking jokes the whole time so there's that I guess.

Ulam

Content Warnings: light sinophobia, vomiting, disgusting food, animal death (a dog dies), lizard meat, dog meat, rat meat, child abuse, child endangerment, gore, graphic murder scenes

The word "ulam" refers to the meat or vegetable that make up the main meal in a Filipino dish that is served alongside the rice that makes up our meal staple. The closest translation to this is the word viand, which isn't a commonly used word in English. Either way, you could understand the dread I felt when that was the title of the next movie.

Ulam was a standout of the night for us because it scared most of us more than we did with MLT which was supposed to be our actual horror movie. I don't want to spoil much because of that but the visceral disgust and creepiness that I got from watching it was exactly the feeling I was expecting with horror. It was surprising too considering how the typical SRR movie isn't too serious or is corny enough to not spook you.

This movie was different. It felt like the writer and director knew they had a limited budget and they worked within that realm. The limited CGI was used so expertly that it doesn't actually look bad and adds to the horror too. This was a horror movie that felt like it was made by a Filipino indie horror movie group which is a good thing. The restrictions to the budget and the limited run-time worked to this film's advantage and I don't think extending it as much or adding more money into it would've done it too many favors.

Besides the excellent writing and the amazing direction, the cinematography and stage direction was so good! There were so many shots of the film that me and my group of artist friends would just pause and say "Oh shit! That shot looks so pretty!". It definitely helps a lot that the sombre color grading gives it such a good atmosphere.

I have so many praises for this film, it makes up for some of the issues I have with it. It relies on creepy rural province things to get the plot rolling and especially, honestly, bothers me a little bit because there was a quick reference that points to it being a Bikolano thing. There was also some light Sinophobia but specifically the stereotype that Chinese people are superstitious and this is a bit important for the plot since one of the family is Chinese-Filipino. Of course, the elephant in the room is yes, the dog dies. It's a spoiler but I'm saying it upfront. How it's revealed is more of the horror anyway but yes, the dog dies.

Other than that, it's a solid short film and it definitely got under my skin more than MLT.

Flight 666

Content Warnings: gore, hostage situations, flight turbulence, implied dubious consent/nonconsensual relationships, child(?) death, demonic themes and imagery

Flight 666 was by far the weakest of the three but was a welcome palate cleanser after Ulam freaked us out.

It's your typical bad things happen on the plane thing but like, honestly, so many things were happening all at once it was almost comical.

The movie centers around a group of passengers who were boarded on an extra flight because of overbooking on the airline's fault, now in Flight 666. One crazy thing happens after another and the next thing they know, a tiyanak (a demon baby Filipino cryptid) is on the plane and they have to survive the flight until they land safely on the ground to escape. It's such an overload of a movie that I wouldn't be surprised if it's the very reason this has really low reviews.

I've noticed that this was also the movie with a shit ton of movie cameos from big names just cuz, and it's definitely something that I think Filipinos would sorta get more but confuse outsiders?

All you need to know is that most of the quirky characters in this movie are overexaggerations of these actors' public personas. Kuya Kim, for example, plays the role of a sort of adventurer-type professor, not unlike Steve Irwin, and that's just how the guy is. His whole shtick is giving trivia, so he's also doing this in this movie.

The CGI here is used front and center which kinda works because I really don't think this film specifically was supposed to be that scary anyway. The writing was over the top, there were so many corny and cheesy scenes, and the stupid shit in the film really adds to it. It was really jarring going from the freaky ending for Ulam and then going straight into this insanity but it was a wild experience.

Watch the Shake, Rattle, and Roll XV (2014) with English subtitles for free on YouTube here

With all of that being said, both MLT and SRR do suffer from some typical iffy tropes especially with the bury your gays trope though both films are nine years old so I'm not holding it too much against it. Both films also have really awkward and bad CGI even with both being 2014 movies but that comes with the territory of local horror. Either way, I guess we had fun watching it together regardless of the quality so there was that.

If anyone wants to watch these films, and honestly a lot more movies for Halloween, Star Cinema and Regal Films who created the two respectively have it free on YouTube with English subtitles for Halloween and I've linked it under each section! It has a lot of midroll ads, so make sure to use an ad blocker to watch them uninterrupted.

We had fun with these movies, so maybe you might too so give it a try if you can!

[the-type-a]

imagine like a thing where duncney is trying to hide their relationship but everyone knows they're dating-

that would be so funny and i can reallly see it happening lol

It reminds me of when Jackie and Hyde had a secret relationship until everyone found out 😂

I wrote a little something incorporating their vibes from That 70s Show!

—

8 PM, Trent’s basement.

The usual gang was lounging around Trent’s parents basement. Ever since their freshmen year it seemed to be the local hangout spot for the teenagers. The space itself wasn’t big, but it somehow fit all seven friends comfortably. Trent, Gwen, and DJ were all sitting on one couch, Duncan and Courtney on either side of them on singular chairs, while Geoff and Bridgette were crossed legged on the floor.

The two blondes never seemed to mind their designated spot, as it gave them the perfect room to roll their precious green friend. Somehow, the teens had managed to get away with their little activity. Well, in all honesty it was not that hard. Trent’s father was always at work, and if his mother was not working herself she would spend the evenings next door with Gwen’s mother.

“So, what are you guys doing tonight?” DJ asked his question directly towards Duncan and Courtney as he pointed a finger between the two.

Duncan and Courtney shared a brief look. They had secretly been hanging out together for the last couple weeks. Sometimes they just watched movies, sometimes they cuddled up against one another, and on occasion they shared a kiss or two. Okay, definitely more than two, but who was really keeping track of all that? Besides the two of them of course.

Courtney realized neither she nor Duncan had answered the question. She looked back at DJ and saw everyone was now eyeing them suspiciously. She quickly became defensive and blurted out the only thing she could think of.

“Why would you assume we were doing anything together?”

“I meant—” DJ tried to say but was cut off by Courtney. She continued to have this word vomit that only made her and Duncan look more suspicious.

“I mean seriously, we would never willingly be around each other without you guys.”

“Yeah. Princess is a pain in my ass.” Duncan said. If he was trying to help Courtney out in this situation he was surely failing. Trent coughed nervously as he received some secondhand embarrassment from the two. In a way he was grateful the attention wasn’t on him and Gwen for once.

“Dudes.” Geoff started, his voice ending with a chuckle. Even he realized something was up.

Once again, Courtney was rambling about how she was absolutely not doing anything, with Duncan to be exact, “And Duncan is the most immature human being. The idea of spending time with him is just revolting!”

“See? A complete pain!” Duncan exclaimed, throwing his hands up for emphasis. He was blowing it, he could tell. Though, there was no way his friends, who were noticeably under the influence, would ever put two and two together.

“Wow. That was almost believed.” Gwen said sarcastically.

“Excuse me?” Courtney asked rather aggressively.

“So what is it? You guys boned?”

Gwen really wasn’t one to beat around the bush. If she felt like something was going on she was always willing to confront whoever it may be. In this case, it happened to be two of her closest friends. The thought of Duncan and Courtney together wasn’t so far-fetched, but the way the two seemed to get caught up in this conversation was too great of an opportunity to not joke about.

“What the fuck, Gwen?!” Courtney couldn’t believe Gwen could casually bring something like that up. Well, she could but it was the principle of the thing!

“Hey, you’re the ones being transparent. It’s not that big a deal if you two are a thing.”

“We’re not!” Duncan and Courtney yelled together. Super convincing.

“Anyway.” Bridgette said, trying to ease the tension in the room. “Court, since you’re obviously free—”

“I didn’t say that.” The comment made Bridgette’s eyebrow cock up. She needed to get out of there. It seemed as if the walls were closing in on her. “I mean, I have homework to do.”

“It’s Friday.” Geoff said as he lit the end of another rolled up green goody. Since when was he so observant?

“A lot of homework.” Courtney said as she stood up and made her way toward the back door. She turned and waved at everyone before opening it and left.

Before anyone had a chance to ask him any questions Duncan got up. He grabbed his leather jacket and stepped toward the door.

“Well, Ma wants me home for dinner.”

“We all literally just got done eating.” Trent said. It was true, and if his mother somehow heard Duncan she’d be hurt. Trent’s mother was a mom to all, and she sure as hell made sure everyone was stuffed by the end of every dinner. Tonight more than ever as DJ’s moms came to help.

“Later losers.” Duncan said without even acknowledging what Trent had said. If he ignored them they couldn’t ask more questions. Plus, they’d obviously forget by the next time they all saw each other.

“They’re definitely hooking up.” Gwen blurred out once Duncan was gone. DJ shook his head, not that he was denying the possibility, but it had to be more than a random hook up. They had all been inseparable for years, and he doubted any of them would risk causing a tear in the group over something like that.

“Oh come on, they’ve obviously loved each other since the eighth grade. It’s more than that.” He defended.

“Either way.” Gwen continued, “They’re awful liars.”

[venomous-ko]

Wine Drunk while watching Godzilla vs Kong

Some major spoilers up ahead!

Mans really just annoyed the shit out of his coworker until he left so he could hack shit, huh?...I love it! 🤣🤣

——————————————

You mean to tell me that the explanation for why Godzilla attacked the one tech company site by the dude who studied Kaiju communication and behavior for a living is just, “sometimes people (and creatures) change”???? Like some dumbass justifying a toxic person/relationship??? Like excuse me???? Why are the literal teenagers making more sense than you?????

Also, we’re all in agreement that this facility is either housing Ghidora’s dead head, Mecha Godzilla, or Mecha Ghidora, right?!?

——————————————

Lol! “Apex Cybernetics!” That’s not foreshadowing! 🤣

——————————————

Apparently, I didn’t get my fill of white nonsense from Falcon and Winter Soldier, bc someone decided to put this blonde-hair-blue-eyed little bitch in charge! That’s not ganna go wrong somehow. 🙃😑👀

Like this bitch literally wanted to send a fucking child into unexplored hollow earth territory without a second thought! 🙃🙃🙃🙃 I was literally like 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕 for that entire convo.

——————————————

I’m sorry! This conspiracy man just met these teenagers, and his first impulse was, “yeah, theses seem like some good people to break into a tech conglomerate with!” 🤣🤣🤣🤣

——————————————

Why are these people surprised Kong knows sign language? These are people who study Kaiju (and presumably other animals in order to draw conclusions about certain behaviors) for a fucking living!!! We have primate species that recognize and communicate in sign language already! Why is this surprising???!?! Like...has NO ONE except this precious child tried this????

Also, nothing bad better happen to this child.

——————————————

That ship literally fucked around, and Godzilla let it find out! Lmao!

——————————————

Kong: Hey, Godzilla...look at me...

Godzilla: >:[

Kong: ...bitch.

——————————————

Precious girl: Thank you, friend 🧏🏽‍♀️

Kong: ☺️😴

THIS GIRL IS TOO PRECIOUS!!!!

——————————————

Bitch-ass White Man: How’s Kong with heights?

BITCH, you really ganna try that?!?! You really think you ganna find any aircraft(s) that are ganna be able to support all that weight?? Never mind any other problems with Kong trying to nope the fuck out of that situation and all kind of other hosts of problems!

And if you do somehow have one (or multiple) WHY TF DIDN’T YOU USE THAT BEFORE KNOWING FULL AND WELL YOU RAN THE RISK OF GODZILLA MERCING KONG’S ASS IF YOU TRAVELED VIA SHIP!?!?!?!

——————————————

Down the Hell Naw tunnel we go!

——————————————

“I think it’s romantic,”

I fucking love Millie Bobbie Brown’s character!! 🤣❤️🤣

——————————————

WHY IS THIS TEENAGER SMARTER THAN EVERYBODY OMG!!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

——————————————

“This is page one in the ‘Playing God’ handbook, right?”

I’ve decided I love this character! 🤣

——————————————

WHY YOU GETTING INSIDE THAT THING—Oh god! 😨 Why y’all got eggs!?!? This is like if Weyland-Yutani succeeded in getting Xenomorphs! 😬

——————————————

Oop! Locked in! THIS IS WHY YOU DON’T HIDE OUT IN MYSTERIOUS ROOMS!!!!

——————————————

Oh shit! Apex Cybernetics think they on that Wakanda shit now!

Also, why was that one Apex Cybernetics bitch bitching about how one of those HEAV crafts could power Vagas for a week if y’all clearly have a whole network or transportation using this tech!

And I never understood how tech companies kept that shit to world domination shit! Build a public transportation system with that shit! Boss man said he likes ideas that make him rich! Pretty sure that would do the trick!

——————————————

WINE BREAK!!!

Saving the rest of the last bottle for coking Gumbo, so gotta open up a new bottle

——————————————

Aw, Kong is so sick of this bullshit! 😂😭

——————————————

“It’s not working”

Bruh! Give it more that two seconds!

——————————————

HOW DARE Y’ALL USE KONG’S LOSS AGAINST HIM!!!! HOW DARE Y’ALL!!!

——————————————

HEAV go Brrrrrrr Shoooooooooooom!!!!

——————————————

LMAO!!! Monarch has their own brand of bottled water!?!?! Idk why that amuses me so much!

——————————————

This hallow earth portal thing is some Pacific Rim bullshit right here, lol!

——————————————

NYOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM

——————————————

Are we...are we really Ice Age: Dawn of Dinosaur-ing this shit rn??? 😂😂😂

——————————————

“It’s beautiful,”

Of course it’s beautiful! No hoomins have touched it! Lol

——————————————

Y’ALL GOT FUCKIN DRAGONS IN THIS BITCH!?!?!?!!! 8D YO!!! SIGN ME THE FUCK UP!!!!

——————————————

*marvels at the creature creation ideas*

——————————————

Kong’s first thought: *nom the dragon guts*

——————————————

THE ROCK HAND OMG IM GANNA CRY!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 It’s the same gesture the Precious Girl did OMG!!!!

——————————————

“We going in?”

“Yeah”

The BALLS on this child!

——————————————

“AAAAHH 😐”

*fear*

LMAO!!!!! I’M FUCKIN WHEEZING!!!

——————————————

“Sacrifice Pit”

OMG 🤣🤣🤣

——————————————

I KNEW IT!!!! MECHA-GODZILLA MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!! 8DDDDD

——————————————

YO PACIFIC RIM RAN SO MECHA-GODZILLA COULD FUCKIN SPRINT!!!!!!!!

——————————————

YO IT’S A GOOD THING I AIN’T SEEING THIS IN THEATERS BC I’D BE FLIPPING MY SHIT!!!!

——————————————

“Humanity, once again, will be the apex species,”

THERE it is!

——————————————

Why Mecha-Godzilla so skeeny?!? He need ta be thicc if he ganna take down REAL Godzilla!

——————————————

*Ryan Bergera conspiracy voice* Is this the real reason Kong was contained!? So this douche could snatch up Skull Crawlers without Kong intervention???

——————————————

OH SHIT!!! I think this thing is emitting alpha waves (or whatever we’re calling it) and THAT’s what set Godzilla off!!! He fought Ghidorah, heard this shit and went, “Nu-uh, bitch! NOT AGAIN!!!”

——————————————

Monarch dude: Yo, Godzilla’s headed to Hong Kong for some reason?

FUCKIN CALLED IT!!!

——————————————

This look like the door to fuckin General Grievous’s lair,da fuq?!? 🤣🤣🤣

 ——————————————

I got waaay too emotional over that handprint, y’all! 😭😭😭

——————————————

Y’all, the fucking art history major in me is fuckin screaming at this temple scene! The fact that some of these Kaiju not only had the urge and drive and capacity to build a fucking temple around this power source or some shit and create weapons like the axe that Kong just fucking Excalibured the shit out of that one skull crawler’s skull fucking implies the fact that there is intelligent civilization amongst these fucking Kaiju and all that shit! I want to know more about this shit! Take that you fucking racist-ass white historian motherfuckers!

(Note: I definitely needed to use talk to text for much of this bit, because there was no way I was going to be able to contain all my excitement in just typing, alone, lmao)

——————————————

BRUH!!! Why y’all exiting g the HEAV without no breathing apparatus or lead suits or nothing!?!?! In previous movies, y’all implied that these Kaiju lived in environments in which their environments were hella radioactive compared to our own!!!

——————————————

Kong is s the true heir to the iron throne, Lmao!

——————————————

FUCKING CALLED IT!!!! THEY HAD GHIDORA’S REMAINS IN THERE SOMEWHERE!!!!

——————————————

OH FUCK!!!! Y’ALL AINT JUST SENDING OUT ALPHA VIBES WITH YOUR MECHA-GODZILLA!!!! YOU SOMEHOW USING GHIDORA’S HIVE MIND OR TELEPATHY SHIT TO DO IT!?!?!?! AAAWWWWW SHEEEEEET!!! Y’ALL ARE BONED NOW!!!! FUCKIN BONEROWNED!!!!

——————————————

Godzilla! My bruh! My dude! You didn’t HAVE TO get up right where that bridge was!!! 😂😂 Ya douche bag!!!

——————————————

At the same time, tho, I can just hear him going, “Ah! FUCK! NOT AGAIN!!! Sunova bitch!! Motherfuckin!! STOP BUILDING sHIT SO DAMN HIGH!!! Goddammit!”

——————————————

You know, with all the Bright twinkly lights in Hong Kong, I can’t help but think of the sequel to the original Gojira movie ( that I can’t remember the title of ,rn) where he was fucking triggered by fucking lights. And I wonder if this little scene where he’s stomping all through Hong Kong is a tribute to that or whatever. But I’m probably overthinking it.

[Sober Edit: it was Godzilla Raids Again]

——————————————

*GASP* HOLY SIHIIIT!!! The axe is made out of Godzilla skute!?!?! GOLY BALLS THAT’S NOT ONLY COOL BUT CONTRIBUTES MORE TO THE FACT THAT THESE KAIJU (likely Kong’s species, in particular) WERE REALLY FUCKING INTELLIGENT AMD TJOUGHT, “Imma beat this muthafucka with their own spiky thing! Bc that’s what screws us over, so, why WOULD’nt it hurt them!?!” I need SO MUCH MORE of this Kaiju/Kong culture studied and shit! HOLY FUCK!!!

It even fucking glows!! Like ... they managed to fucking piece together that its glow was a fucking warning sign like Sting or some shit!!!! Holy fuck!!!!

Also, how does that work? How are the skutes still connected even after dismemberment???

 ——————————————

NO FUCKIN WAY WRE YOU—AAAAAAAAHHH!!! Excalibur that shit my boi!!!!

——————————————

I FUCKIN LOVE YHIS MOVIE HOLY SHIT!!!

——————————————

“ that’s Apex property now,”

Excuse me bitch! Are we really not gonna listen to the scientist who saying “hey we don’t understand the shit out of this fucking power! Maybe we should hold off on taking some fucking samples!”

Are we really just gonna ignore that shit???????

 ——————————————

Kong said: TRY ME BITCH!!!!

——————————————

Oh thank the GODS this Serizawa dude is taking precautions like his old man! Also, what is his relation to Ken Watanabe’s Serizawa!?!?!

——————————————

UH OH!! SOLDIER DUDES GETTIN ATE!!!

——————————————

OH SHIT!!! PILOT JUST GOT ATE!!! FUCKIN DRAGON BASEMENT UP IN THIS SHIT!!!

——————————————

BITCH YOU REALLY GON THROW A ROCK AT IT!!! FUCKIN NONSENSE OF THIS BITCH!!!

——————————————

LOVE AND FITE ME ENERGY IS STORED IN THE ATOMIC BREATH

——————————————

“Shoot him!”

WHY!!!???!! He literally had NO problem with you before then!!!

——————————————

Why does white man who don’t know anything about this vehicle suddenly know how to pilot this shit!???!?!!!!!

 ——————————————

Y’all love had SO MUCH wine!

——————————————

The FUCK this dude got a flip flop phone for!!!?!????!!!?

Da fuq!?!?! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 yeah that’s the most unrealistic part of this entire fucking movie! Not the fuckin Kaiju robots. Not the fucking hollow earth bullshit! The fucking flip phone! LMFAO!!!!

——————————————

“Maintenance! I’M MAINTENANCE!!! This bitch ain’t buying it”

That made me laugh WAY FUCKIN harder that it should have!!!!

——————————————

Y’all really ganna try to shoot at a kid!?! REALLY!?!?!??!

——————————————

GAWD, I’m so glad I impulse bought these oatmeal bites from Dominos! 🤤😋

[Sober Edit: I have no idea how my autocorrect managed to convert “Parmesan” to “oatmeal,” but okay! 😆😅]

——————————————

Kong be like, “Hey, bitch!!! You lookin’ for me!?!?”

——————————————

Find you a partner that bites your neck like Godzilla does! Lmao!

Sorry, I’ll be crawling back into my hell hole, now.

——————————————

EAT YOUR FOOKIN VEGETABLES GODZILLA!!!!!

——————————————

Did Godzilla just axe throw with his fuckin teefs!!!????!?!?!

——————————————

THIS IS THE FOOKIN MONSTER VS MONSTER FIGHTS IVE BEEN CRAVING SINCE KING OF THE MONSTERS HOLY SHIT!!!!

——————————————

“Really? Groupies, again?”

First of all, again!?! What happened last time???

Secondly, where tf are YOUR grpupies, asshole! No need to judge! Ya cunt!

——————————————

“There can only be one alpha,”

Really! You really gotta bring your toxic masculinity into a fuckin monster fight, my dude!?!

——————————————

Kong said, “Yeet! YEET SELF!!!”

——————————————

I am living for the feral fight scenes!!!!

——————————————

Kong’s expression , tho! 🤣🤣🤣

Like, “Can you ducking NOT, Godzilla?!? Can you, like, fucking chill??!!? Aight, fine! ASDASHKLSDJKLDZJL ADKLKDZDJ!!!!!!”

——————————————

Awwwww! Godzilla let Kong go, bc he knows what it’s like to be the last of his species! 🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭😭

——————————————

“This is how we [...] win!”

Oh, honey, you ‘bout to die! Lmao! 😂

——————————————

Oh god! I knew he was going to use the sign for “coward” at the most inappropriate time! Lmao! At least the Precious Girls is smart enough to know what Dumbass White Man means, lol

——————————————

Oh, thank god we do t see this dumbass in any sequels!

——————————————

Dammit, he escaped!

——————————————

This girl is too good!

——————————————

Did y’all really think you were ganna break into a semi-sentient Mecha-Godzilla by GUESSING ITS FUCKING PASSWORD!!?!?!?!!!!???? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

——————————————

YEAH!!!! TEAM-UP COMING THROUGH!!!!!

——————————————

“I was hoping to die with adults, but that’s okay,”

🤣🤣🤣

——————————————

“I’VE GOT TO DIE WITB YOU AND SOBER!!?!?!”

GOD, I love this movie!!!!

——————————————

OOOOOOHHHH HOLY SHIT!!!!! 😱😱😱😱😱 He powering up the axe!!!!!

——————————————

YOOOOOO KONG WENT PREDATOR/YOUTJA ON MECHA-GODZILLA’s ASS!!!!

——————————————

Kong said, “I’m done, y’all! Imma take a nap!”

——————————————

“Dad. Uh...Bernie.”

I fucking love Bernie!!! 😂😂😂😂

——————————————

JIA NOOOO!!! Don’t go running between two disgruntled Kaiju bby!!

——————————————

Yo, why do monsters have less toxic masculinity than we do??? Lol!

——————————————

Yaaaaaay! Kong has a new home!!

——————————————

WELP!!! I fucking loved this movie, and I highly recommend it to everyone!!!

[isingonly4myangel]

3, 6, 14, 17, 20, 22 :)

3. you're planning a horror movie marathon with your friends - which movies are you picking?

Ooh, either a run through the Conjuring universe, or a whole collection of Stephen King. Also on the table would be really classic horror, like made before the 1970s only.

6. answer for real life vs if you were a slasher movie character: the local movie theater is showing your favorite horror movie but you've heard that something really fucked up happened at the theater in the town over; somebody got stabbed mid screening, apparently- but people are arguing about whether that was actually real or just some sort of publicity stunt... - are you still going to watch your favorite movie?

Lmao yep, I'm still going in real life, and honestly I might go in a slasher movie too, cause might as well.

14. would you rather try to escape from michael myers chasing you with a knife, jason voorhees chasing you with his machete or freddy krueger tormeting you in your dreams and chasing you with his glove?

I'll take Michael Myers, because I stand a better chance of disarming him than with a machete or... ya know... inside my dreams

17. would you rather have chucky try and transfer his soul into your body or have the sawyer family try and put you on their dinner table?

The Sawyer family, on the same principle as the last one- better chance to get away!

20. there's a rip in the fabric of the universe and you find yourself warped into a horror movie. which one is it? pick a movie you actually find interesting enough to want to be a part of, maybe one you've already imagined yourself as a character in- not one you just think would be easiest to stay alive in. the rules to your current situation are unclear; you don't know whether this is one of those "if you die in here, you die in real life" scenarios or not- so why not just aim for some fun right now.

The Conjuring, hands down. (If we're allowed to include tv shows and not just movies, I'd also take AHS Coven, but my preference would be Penny Dreadful, I wanna live there anyway lol)

22. do you have any personal scary stories? something that happened to you or somebody close to you?

So the auditorium at my high school was haunted. Very haunted. Everyone has a story from it, we had the weirdest shit happen. Light orbs, cold spots, doors rattling on hinges, paintbrushes being moved up and down a ladder when the person painting is the only one there, picture frames thrown from a wall at the head of a girl 5 feet away, a persistent feeling of being watched, footsteps on the empty catwalk, and so much more. But one of my wildest stories happened during a rehearsal my senior year.

A cast of probably 20, 25 people are sitting in chairs around the piano onstage. Stage left wing is dressing rooms, stage right wing leads into our scene shop, where the big set pieces and construction equipment are stored. The shop door is huge, sliding, metal, standing open slightly because it's a pain to close fully. It's a music rehearsal, and because it's a difficult piece and the majority of the cast are not choir kids, we just can't get it totally right. But bless our music director, who's trying. All of a sudden, we hear the very loud and distinct sound of the circular saw revving up and running in the scene shop. Except that the lights are off, and there's no one in there. The circular saw is just inside the door, there would be no missing whoever was standing at it. Our music director sends a kid over, and we all watch him walk across the stage, up to the door, poke his head through, and say "hello?" The moment he approaches, within 4 feet of the saw, the sound stops. He announces that there's no one there, he sits back down, we begin rehearsal again. Not 10 minutes later, we hear the saw again. We repeat the above, with the kid looking a little pale the second time.

There's no other entrance or exit from the scene shop, save the stairs to the basement of the building (which we call Hell, for good reason but those are other stories). Those are metal, spiral stairs, and loud as fuck if anyone steps on them. We never heard that sound. The circular saw also needs 2 hands to operate, even after it's plugged in- one to take the safety off and the other to hold your material. No electric issue could have turned the saw on. Twice.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #365

“i’m numb to the pleasure, but still feel the pain”

Are there palm trees where you live? No. Do you own any Hello Kitty stuff? If so, what? No. What’s your favorite flavor of ice pop? Blue raspberry. Do you like animal print? What’s your favorite print? Not really. I think animal "print" only really looks nice on, well, animals. Does your dad have any facial hair? Yes. What do you think of foot tattoos? They're not my favorite, but some look nice. I myself wanna get "11121" (a Silent Hill 4 reference) "carved" onto the top of my feet. Do you like bugs or do they scare you? Some do. I've gotten more into them though as my passion for tarantulas expanded to other inverts, like mantises. Ever seen the movie Chernobyl Diaries? If so, did you like it? If not, do you want to see it? I haven't, but I'd be willing to watch it. I find the whole Chernobyl incident to be extremely fascinating, so I'd probably like it. Did your senior class in high school have a class trip? Where did you go? Bitch I wish. :/ Do you have an instagram account? What’s your username? Yeah, two: brittanymphotography and eldritch_obscura. Do you like Gir from Invader Zim? I think he's cute. Do you or would you ever own a gun? Why or why not? No thanks. If I'm not mistaken, I can't legally obtain one anyway because of my suicidal history. I'm fine with having like, pepper spray and a bat handy by the bed, lol. If it was offered for free by a professional, would you get your hair dyed platinum blonde? For FREE? Fuck yeah I'd try it. What do you normally order at Dunkin Donuts? A chocolate frosted donut, and sometimes a plain/cake one. Do you watch football? Favorite teams? No. What about WWE? Favorite wrestler? That's an even bigger no. Funniest thing you’ve ever heard a teacher say? Okay so this is hard to actually explain and it be funny. I had this amazing, kinda charismatically awkward history teacher in high school, and when talking about some legal stuff I can't remember, she deadass quoted "Without Me" by Eminem ("if the FCC won't let me be...") like so casually and everyone fucking died, just from knowing her and her personality. It was just very unexpected. Do you wear a lot of makeup? What do you think of girls who do? No. Girls can wear however much makeup they please. Do you have a savings account? Are you good at saving money? No. I can't really answer the second question because of me never having a steady flow of money. Would you rather have a relationship or casual flings? Relationship, 100%. I would never have a casual fling. Do you know anyone that’s part Native American? Yes. Who was your favorite Spice Girl? I remember none of them. Have you ever tried to poison someone? Yikes, no. Have you ever saved anyone from a fire? No. Have you ever had a seizure? No. I've had sudden spasms, but never a full-on seizure. Have you ever had an out-of-body experience? No. Have you ever had a black eye? No. Have you ever had a tooth pulled? No. Have you ever had pneumonia? I have not. Have you ever had tubes put in your ears? Yes, as a baby. Have you ever been shot with an arrow or bullet? Thank god no. Have you ever had kidney stones? No. Have you even been bitten by an venomous animal? No. Have you ever thought about being in the military? Fuck no. I wouldn't qualify, anyway. Have you ever been sedated or put under anesthesia? Yeah. Have you ever used shrooms or any other hallucinogen? No. What upcoming event are you most looking forward to? I can barely believe my tat appointment is almost here lakjsd;ajwlej;rwe What was the last song you heard? I'm currently listening to Motionless In White's synthwave edit of "Voices" they just put out. I looooove it. What time did you wake up today? Maybe like, 5:20? Is there a vase in the room you’re in? No. Have you recently been insulted? Yes. Compared to someone else of your age and gender; do you feel that you have a lot to offer someone? N O P E How many days a week do you work? I'm unemployed. Is there ONE person you feel more connected to than others? Yes. What is your worst relationship quality? I obsess over the person probably leaving, so especially at the beginning, I'm paranoid and distrustful. I want to emphasize that I'm not the asshole that snoops through her partner's phone out of distrust, but still, the fear is just there. What was your most recent serious injury? A serious one? Man idk. I've had a lot or negligible and smaller ones, but a big one... *shrug* What were you most recently happy about? I was happy to see "synthwave" in this video title, haha. Are you a fan of cake? Oh yes. What is your favorite insect? Butterflies. Is your town beautiful? Ew, no. Do you prefer the city or the country? THE COUNTRY. Have you ever witnessed an eclipse? Lots of lunar eclipses. Do you wear lipstick often? No. You’re going on a date with someone you like. What would you like to do? Considering the pandemic, probably just like... grab fast food and sit and eat at a park. That'd be cute. You’re hanging out with your best friend. What would you like to do? It'd be nice to get back to Avatar: The Last Airbender while hanging out with Doris (her beardie that I adore), too. Have you ever written or considered writing a play? No. Who is considered the “black sheep” of your family? Why? Ha, me. To begin, I like all the "dark" stuff, I'm the unreligious one, the one with political beliefs unlike most of my family, I'm not doing what I should be... Why is your favorite movie your favorite movie? It's just a masterpiece. I love love love animals, African one especially, and I find it to be an amazing story of courage and dedication to family. Plus I shamelessly love all the songs, haha. What’s an odor you hate? GASOLINE. FUCK. What’s a sound you hate? Fingernails on a chalkboard. Or screech-y noises in general. If money was no issue, what would you like to do right now? I was initially gonna say go to Yellowstone, but fuck that hot weather this time of year. So, this brings us back to Venus' terrarium; I'd want to get a new one and better materials. What’s something you’re so good at that you take pride in your skill? I wouldn't say I'm "so good" at it, but I do take pride in my writing. What’s something you’d never ever dare to ask another person? Hm. Under ANY circumstance, I guess "are you pregnant?" There's almost like... no situation where I'd be comfortable asking somebody that. What’s the worst/best thing you’ve done without your parents knowing? We're not getting into that lmao. Do you know anyone who has a hearing deficit? No. What is one thing stopping you from becoming a veterinarian? I could never stand seeing so many hurt and dying animals and still be okay at the end of the day. Are there any opinions you used to have even a few years ago that you look back on and think, “I can’t believe I ever thought that way”? THERE ARE!!!!!!!!!!! A LOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The last time you cried, what was wrong? I fell and skinned my knees when stepping over this barrier Mom made to keep the damn dog out of the hallway and thus my room to fuck with the cat and eat his food. I previously twisted my ankle, fell backwards, and had one other accident with it despite moving stuff, and I didn't cry from pain, just massive frustration. I want this dog GONE. Do you like multi-choice tests or tests you have to write out? Multiple choice. Who last called you ‘beautiful’? Couldn't tell ya, bud. Have you ever caught a firefly? Yeah, I did that lots as a kid. Do you own any camouflage? No. What’s the stinkiest pet you’ve ever had? Uhhh I dunno. Have you ever been on the news? For what? No. Have you ever seen one of your friends get arrested? No. Do you put sprinkles on anything? No, I hate sprinkles. How do you like your steak? Medium well. Long hair on guys: yes or no? Yaaaaaaaas. Is there a basement in your house? If so, what is it used for? No. When was the last time you started a new medication? It's been a while. What is your favourite type of nut? Cashews, I think. Where did you eat the best pizza you’ve ever eaten in your life? I'm so fuckin basic, like my genuine answer is Domino's lmaooo. Did you ever watch The Rugrats when you were a kid? Yeah, I loved that show. I even had the two video games; I was obsessed with the first one in particular. Do you know anyone who was adopted? Yes. Do your parents’ professions match their college degrees? No. Do you write shopping lists on paper or just remember it in your head? I don't do the shopping, so. But I would definitely need to write it down. Have you ever used a lawnmower? No. Have you ever consumed so much alcohol that you vomited? No. Can you tie balloons? No, actually. My hands are just too shaky. When was the last time you were at a pet store? A few weeks ago when we got rats for Venus. Ugh, it is SO overpriced; they come in a box of two, and as I feed her twice a month, it's honestly quite a bit of money. Like if I remember correctly, it's around $16. FOR TWO. SMALL. RATS. I've recommended we just buy them in bulk NOT from an overpriced chain pet store, but the problem with that is then we have *too* many, and the nutritional value of frozen rats apparently does degrade with time, so I don't want to feed my snake poor food. So it's just an annoying thing we have to do. Have you ever taken a pregnancy test? Not like, an at-home one. I've been tested before surgery, but that was just a safety protocol. Does your ex still think about you? "The" ex, probably not. Honestly, who is the last person to tell you that they love you? My mom. What is the last state you were in besides your own? Virginia. Would you go down to see the Titanic if given the chance? Man, that's kinda tempting. Maybe. It'd be super cool. Have you ever seen the Hollywood sign in real life? No. Did you ever see a scorpion in the wild? No, they don't live here. Do you type the proper way? Have you ever typed on a manual typewriter? Yes to both. What was your maternal grandmother’s first name? Cecelia. Name a word that people use locally that outsiders probably can’t pronounce. Conetoe. You said it wrong.

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

Home - Part 20

A/N- Hey!! So this part is just fluff! Lol and a few time jumps as we near the end! 💕

12 weeks pregnant.

Bucky and I had just come out from my 12 week scan, Dr Forester said everything was looking great which was a huge relief! We were currently sat in the car looking at the newest scan photos.

"i cant believe how much has changed since the last scan! You can actually see their babies now!" I said shaking my head "The weeks are flying by Buck!"

"I know! They'll be here in no time" Bucky said his eyes comically wide before he started laughing "i can't wait".

"Me either, now we just have to tell the girls" i looked over at Bucky biting my lip nervously "do you think they will take it well?"

"You kidding me? They'll be so excited baby"

"Yeah?"

"Of course!"

"God i hope so" i mumbled as my hand stroked over my tiny bump, it didnt take long before Bucky's hand reached over to join mine.

"You have nothing to worry about i promise" he kissed me quickly "i cant wait for them to know so you stop hiding this cute little bump".

I rolled my eyes at him before chuckling at the man i loved. Bucky was obsessed with the tiny bump i had, his hands resting over it any chance he got.

"Come on lets go break the news".

When we got inside we found Steve fast asleep on the sofa the girls asleep all around him, Rosie was on his chest, Brooke and Allie tucked into each side.

"Oh my god how cute is that" i smiled down at them pulling out my phone to snap a photo.

"They must have had a busy day at school huh" Bucky laughed "Lets get dinner sorted while they sleep, we can tell them later".

We were all sat around the dining room table an hour later eating dinner, Steve stayed too of course!

"Daddy can i have some more juice please, im thirsty" Allie looked up at Bucky while tapping his arm.

"Sure sweetheart"

"I'll grab it i'm gonna grab another beer anyway" Steve said pushing his chair back and heading towards the kitchen.

"Grab me one too please" Bucky called after his friend.

"Hey, are these the new scan photo's?" Steve called through before holding up the photo's from todays session as he walked back in with Allie's juice and a couple of beers.

"Yeah take a look" Bucky nodded proudly.

"OMG..... look at that!"

"What are you looking at Uncle Steve?" Brooke asked trying to look over at the photo.

"Um, its a secret" he said with a look of panic on his face, he knew we hadn't said anything to the girls yet and he didn't want to be the one who told them.

"Bucky why don't you tell the girls what Uncle Steve is looking at?"

"Yeah?"

"Go for it" i chuckled nervously, hoping they would be happy with the news.

"Okay, girls..... Y/N is pregnant! She's gonna be having a baby... two babies actually"

"TWO?!" Brooke asked with wide eyes.

"Yeah sweetheart, its twins" i smiled.

"Oh my god thats so cool!"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah!.... but wait, am i gonna have more sisters? I really want a brother" Brooke suddenly asked making me Bucky and Steve burst out laughing.

"We don't know yet, its still a little early" Bucky told her as Allie slipped off of her chair and walked over to stand in front of me. She stood there staring down at my belly looking confused.

"You okay babe?" I asked her stroking back some loose bits of hair from her face.

"There's two babies in there?" She asked pointing to my tummy with her head tipped to one side.

"There is"

"How? They wont fit in there"

"Their still really tiny at the moment Al, but they will get alot bigger soon".

She walked closer and put a hand against my tummy before whispering "hi, I'm Allie. Im your big sister"

It was the cutest thing ever!!!

"They can't hear you Allie" Brooke rolled her eyes at her little sister.

"Sure they can!" Bucky added quickly seeing Allie looking like she was about to get upset.

"They can?" Allie asked as she fell into my arms wanting a cuddle.

"Of course! Thats how they know who you are when their born"

"Sounds stupid" she huffed with attitude giving Allie the stink eye "I hope i have brothers this time"

"We need some more boys around here, Buck and I are outnumbered already" Steve added.

"I totally agree with Steve, but i'll be happy either way" Bucky laughed.

"Well we'll find out soon enough".

Rosie didn't really understand what was going on yet, i think it will effect her more once the twins are here and she's no longer the baby of the family.

The girls were all in bed and Steve had gone home..... i sometimes wondered if he lived here too! I was laying on the sofa watching a movie while Bucky was making me a cup of tea, i had just started to fall asleep when i heard the tiptoeing of a sneaky child who should be asleep! I kept my eyes closed and waited to hear Bucky tell them to get back to bed.

"Hi.... I'm Brooklyn, I'm your biggest sister" i suddenly heard her whispering next to me "i'll take good care of you i promise...."

"Brooke....whatcha doing hun?"

"Um nothing..... i couldn't sleep"

"You wanna come lay with me a while?" I offered holding out my arms, Brooke wasnt usually one for cuddles, she liked to act like she was too old for that. But she surprised me when she nodded and came to cuddle with me.

"Y/N.... i want the babies to know who i am so I'm gonna talk to them all the time"

"Ok hun, thats fine" i chuckled kissing the top of her hair.

"What are you doing out of bed lil miss?" Bucky asked walking in with mugs of tea before sitting back down next to me so i was leaning against him.

"Couldn't sleep"

"I said she can stay with us and watch the rest of the movie then bed"

"Okay okay" he smiled and we all got snuggled on the sofa....10 minutes later Brooke was fast asleep.

20 weeks pregnant.

Waking up with awful heartburn (AGAIN!) i looked over at my phone on the bedside table to check what time it was, 5:15am! Jesus! Id had it bad for the past couple of days now and it was driving me crazy. I slipped out of bed to go head downstairs for a glass of milk and noticed Bucky was already gone.

I poured myself a glass of milk and while i stood in the kitchen taking a few sips i heard the grunting from the basement. Ooh! Bucky must be working out! I smiled to myself before quietly making my way down there. When Bucky and the girls moved in he made the basement into his gym being as it was never used. I stood in the doorway watching Bucky laid on his back making the most beautiful noises as he lifted some weights. I bit my lip as i leaned against the doorframe watching him....admiring him.

"Ahh fuck!" He moaned lifting the weights above his head once again.

I squeezed my thighs together as the sinful sounds shot straight to my core.

"Jesus christ" i mumbled to myself, my eyes raking over his body....

"Hey doll" the sound of his voice making me snap out of the lust fuelled trance i was in.

"Hey"

"You okay? You look a little flushed" he asked looking smug as he dropped the weights and sat up.

"Mmhmm I'm great, just admiring the view!" I smirked taking a sip of the milk while looking at him, his navy t-shirt clinging to his chest....

"Heartburn still?" He asked noticing the glass of milk in my hand.

"Yep" i nodded as my free hand stroked over my growing bump "your boys hate me i swear" i chuckled.

"They don't hate you" he chuckled shuffling over to me on his knees, he placed his hands either side of my stomach and pressed a kiss to my bump.

"Come back to bed Buck.....watching you down here has turned me on like crazy!"

"Oh really!?"

"So much, i need you.... now!"

"How about i just take you right here, huh?" He smirked pulling me down into his lap.

"Fuck yes!" I groaned before kissing him hard and grinding down onto him.

"Your insatiable baby" Bucky mumbled making me laugh.

"Pregnancy hormones are out of control i swear" i chuckled "everything you do turns me on!"

"Is that right?" Bucky said as he slipped a hand into my panties and moaned instantly "god doll your soaked already!"

"I was soaked the second i walked in and heard you making those noises Buck"

"Don't worry, i'll take care of you".

Home taglist: @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123 @lumar014

@bbmommy0902 @past-perfect-future-tense @heathens-takeitsl0w @captainchrisstan @ladymelissastark @93generation @sebastianstansqueen @oceansxpurple @Imjstaghoststory @rainbowkisses31 @superavengerpotterstar @cap-just-said-language @booktease21 @ms-betsy-fangirl @wildest-dream- @michelehansel @thummbelina @abbylizy @sweetlittlegingy @lorabem @barnesandrogersworld @dumblani @broco8 @xxloki81xx @keithseabrook27 @jesseswartzwelder @saiyanprincessswanie @stormi-ames

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 265: Tamaki What Did You Eat

Previously on BnHA: The heroes began their invasion of the Ol’ Villain Marriott. Down in the basement, Re-Destro was all “what’s going my fresh villain citizens, what a beautiful day, well I guess we should start that meeting” and they were all “WE’RE UNDER FUCKING ATTACK” and he made a face and I laughed. Class 1-B, Edgeshot, and Midnight then jovially killed some people, and then we cut to Dabi and Hawks! Hawks was all “sorry it has to be this way Bubaigawara but I’m gonna have to arrest you” and Twice got all Harry Potter in that one scene from the Prisoner of Azkaban movie, and then he did the thing, and fucking Hawks just fucking stood there and DID NOTHING. So now he’s gonna have to fight 100,000 Twices I guess, and meanwhile Dabi is running up the stairs on his way to intervene and somehow make things even more chaotic. Also either Hawks or Dabi thinks heroes are scum, and I’m still not clear on which. But basically it’s safe to say that angst is on the way, friends.

Today on BnHA: Tamaki turns into a horse. I have questions. Dark Shadow fights fucking Re-Destro and fucking destroys him in like two seconds flat, like holy shit whaaaaat. Then Tokoyami just hops on inside of Fatgum like a goddamn marsupial, and spends several pages like this, during which I completely can’t focus the entire time but I do remember that we learned that Machia won’t be joining the fight because he apparently only listens to Tomura, so that’s convenient I guess. Then we cut to Twice and Hawks (I literally typed out “Dabi and Hawks” just now and had to go back and change it, so you can see where my mind is at), and Hawks defeats Twice and is all “guess I’ve got no choice” and is seriously going to kill him (hahaha what the fuck), but then DABI FUCKING BURNS THE ENTIRE ROOM DOWN WITH EVERYONE IN IT WHILE LAUGHING AND THEN THE CHAPTER JUST ENDS. I feel like I just got slapped in the face.

so before we start, let me just mention that I got a ton of asks and messages about the whole “HERO SCUM” line, and I appreciate everyone keeping me up to date on the twists and turns of our wild little fandom lol. so as you all probably know, in Viz’s translation of the last page they had Dabi saying the line (“Twice, this isn’t your fault. as always... scummy heroes are to blame”). so naturally everyone was either like “whaaaaat!” or “I KNEW IT!!”, but then Caleb went and deleted his original tweet saying that it was Dabi, and replaced it with a new tweet, the gist of which was basically “I don’t fucking know either” and admitting he wasn’t an authority on the matter. so to sum everything up, we basically don’t know and will never know until the anime airs this in about three years’ time, or until the only man who can actually clear this up decides to stop drawing weird mushroom men for five goddamn minutes so he can clarify for us

anyway, so in the meantime it’s time to see who’s having angst this week! probably everybody! let’s just assume it’s everybody and save some time

ohooo so we finally get to see why they had Tamaki and Tokoyami in the vanguard, eh?

(ETA: gotta say, “you” is an awfully impersonal way to address someone whose entire body you are shortly going to stuff inside your little quirk papoose and tote around like a fanny pack.)

honestly this isn’t much of a mystery though lol. Tokoyami is obvious, and with Tamaki it’s probably because of his kraken thing if I had to guess

...excuse me sir is this leading where I think it’s leading

sir. Mister Gum, sir. please do not tell me you are actually about to lead these children into the building and down into the basement. first of all the thought of you and Tamaki in yet another basement is already giving me PTSD so no thanks. and second of all, ???!?!?!?!?! [gestures incredulously to the two children] ?!?!?!???? [emphatically taps my computer screen with the wiki page showing their respective ages] ???!?!?!?!?!?! [gestures wildly toward a picture of Gigantomachia I pulled up just now in a google search. yeah that’s right. Gigantomachia!! you all forgot about him didn’t you!! well guess who didn’t forget about him?? that’s right. so you’d better explain yourself right the fuck now, Fatgum. oh wait I’m still talking in action brackets whoops]

holy crap is Tokoyami giving orders lmao

well look at you. a general, huh? somebody must’ve told them about his little maneuver at the Battle of Taanab

so now some generic villain guys are all “HOW’D THEY FIND OUR SECRET PATH” and “WE MUST DEFEND IT” and I sure can’t wait to watch them get their asses kicked three panels from now

OH LORDY

EVERYONE TAMAKI HAS JUST TURNED INTO A HORSE. I IMMEDIATELY HAVE SEVERAL QUESTIONS, THE MOST PRESSING OF WHICH ARE (1) WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO HIS PANTS, AND (2) DOES THIS MEAN TAMAKI ATE A FUCKING HORSE. PLEASE STAY TUNED AS WE URGENTLY INVESTIGATE THESE NEW DEVELOPMENTS

lol and the cow horns too. why though. just completes the look I guess

loooooool he’s all “apologies, but please remain still” who are you, Tuxedo Mask??

LOOOOOOL

by the way, I almost skipped right past this, but the text says Tamaki will be a sidekick at the Fatgum agency starting “next year”, which presumably means “in a couple of weeks because the school year is about to end.” our boy is graduating! I’m so proud, and also really pissed off about Mirio all of a sudden, just throwing that out there. how much longer must his dreams be put on hold. where is the justice. man I need a minute

okay! anyway so now Tokoyami is just running into the basement alone!! hooooo boy. I know it’s dark down there and that’s presumably why they’re sending him of all people, but still. hooooooooo boy

ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS NO WAY

IS TOKOYAMI GOING TO TAKE ON FUCKING RE-DESTRO AND IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING AND WHY THE FUCK IS NIGHT ON BALD MOUNTAIN SUDDENLY PLAYING

KDSFLK;L’LLL

AM I IN THE RIGHT MANGA. DID DARK SHADOW REALLY JUST GROW NINETY FEET TALL AND START WRESTLING THE SAME FUCKING GUY WHO ALMOST* BROUGHT DOWN THE ENTIRE LEAGUE OF FUCKING VILLAINS

*except he didn’t, let’s be real. didn’t even come close. but still, on paper the hype looks real good!!

AND DO RE-DESTRO’S ROBOT LEGS SOMEHOW FUCKING CHANGE SIZE ALONG WITH HIM. CHALK ANOTHER ONE UP FOR THE MYSTERY BASKET. PUT YOU RIGHT NEXT TO “BUT FOR REAL THOUGH DID TAMAKI ACTUALLY EAT A FUCKING HORSE”

OOOOOF

LOL DETNERAT’S MERCHANDISE REALLY IS TOTAL SHIT. CAN’T EVEN HANDLE A LITTLE CLASH WITH A GIGANTIC SHADOW DEMON

by the way, check out that one guy in the bottom right corner who just totally doesn’t give the least of fucks. he’s fresh out. he wants to know how much longer this is gonna last so he can go home and get back to playing the new Animal Crossing. did you know they added a new crafting feature. can’t believe he’s stuck here at this boring meeting. this man genuinely doesn’t seem to be at all aware of anything that is currently happening around him and it’s amazing. added to the box of questions

oh man. I don’t quite understand what is happening now but I keep expecting Gigantomachia to just pop up out of nowhere any second and I can’t fucking stand it. Horikoshi please stop showing us these close-ups of destroyed walls

OH GOD OH GOD!!!

(ETA: what a casual fucking line implying that Tokoyami genuinely believed that there was nobody in THE ENTIRE LEAGUE OF PLIFF who stood a chance against his latest super move. don’t mind him everyone, he’s just been lowkey biding his time to become the strongest member of class 1-A offscreen while his loser classmates were having dramatic family dinners. how many High Ends could Dark Shadow take out I wonder. why did I suddenly get a mental image of Toko losing an arm only to sigh and nonsensically quote Shakespeare or some shit before wrapping Dark Shadow around the stump and getting back to the asskicking.)

NO TOKO NOT THE ANGRY BALD MAN, HE’S TALKING ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE!! OH FUCK OH FUCK

LMAO

:) :) :) can we maybe get my solemn bird son out of this fucking DEATH BASEMENT right the fuck now. can we do that, please

holy shit!?

:) :) :) I can’t decide whether I trust these panels or not. why is he so confident. does this mean Machia really will be sitting out the arc, or is a trap. help

(ETA: I guess it’s okay for now. ... dammit I’m still suspicious sob.)

also, Tokoyami’s “?!” face is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen though. the fact that he’s physically incapable of altering his expressions no matter what is true comedy gold here

NEVER MIND, THOSE WERE THE WORDS OF A CALLOW YOUTH WHO KNEW NOTHING OF TRUE COMEDY GOLD

WHAT A FOOL I WAS. PLEASE PARDON MY IGNORANCE. SO HERE WE HAVE TOKOYAMI’S MONOEXPRESSION BIRD HEAD STICKING OUT OF FATGUM’S JOLLY BELLY FOR NO REASON, WHILE FATGUM IS ALL “DON’T YOU FEEL LIKE WE’RE KICKING TOO MUCH ASS AND SOMETHING TERRIBLE IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN”, AND SOME OTHER POOR GUY WITH SCISSORS HANDS IS JUST LYING THERE DEAD IN THE BACKGROUND. MY GOD. I’M IN AWE OF THIS

dfkjkjk oh noooo

“does this young man amuse you,” Horikoshi says as he darkly pencils in the disturbingly concave shadows of Fatgum’s ridiculous fucking quirk. “are his ‘magnificent fellow’ bird antics pleasing for you to watch. I guess it sure would be a shame if I gave him some... angst”

but for real y’all I genuinely can’t take this at all seriously when Tokoyami’s head is still stubbornly and persistently poking its way out of Fatgum like a goddamn baby kangaroo in every fucking panel

we are entering another Tokoyami+Hawks mentor flashback and this is still all I can think about. why is he even in there. why is any of this happening. Tokoyami really just flung Re-Destro into a wall and then climbed inside of Fatgum feet-first so they could run along to freedom. just fucking ensconced himself. do you think it’s cozy in there. do you think Aizawa would fall asleep

hey Toko please stop having ominous thoughts about my other bird son

have you ever heard of an announcer jinx. “now here’s a guy who the fans have loved since the moment he was first introduced. and if you look at the stats, fourth place in his first popularity poll, which was taken only ten chapters after his introduction. heck, he’s so popular they even went and gave him a role in the second movie even before he appeared in the anime! it’s undeniable that this young man has a bright future ahead of him, Al.” now you listen here. I don’t at all like where this is headed and it needs to stop right now

anyway so of course on that note we are cutting back to Hawks

so we’ve confirmed that Hawks has his hands full just melting all of the new clones as they come, and doesn’t have the speed or the excess feathers (or the conviction? :|) to go after the original and put a stop to all this

or you could just ignore everything I say ever because immediately on the next page Horikoshi is all “actually he’s winning lol”

anyway but it sure would be a shame if someone were to run in and set you on fire right about now. that probably sounds sarcastic but it actually would be really bad lol please don’t set Hawks on fire

(ETA: motherfucker. goddamn. fucking --)

and now Hawks is making clones of his fellow League buddies oh shit!! but right when I was about to scroll down I noticed that Hawks is carrying some sort of recording device?? or communications device?? in his hand very conspicuously in that last panel? and so what is going on here, exactly?

oh shit and never mind about those LoV clones

that’s all well and good Hawks, but I need you to please just be very cautious and aware and proactive about not catching on fire okay. watch your six

oh my god oh my god

“now here’s a guy whose rise in popularity was unexpected but just a real pleasure to watch. he just really cares about his friends.” “you said it; he really came into his own a couple arcs back. twenty-third in the most recent poll, and the fans all love him.” fffffff Hawks isn’t a killer Hawks isn’t a killer, I can’t hear you lalala

LA LA LA

maybe... he’ll just... punch a small hole through one of his lungs... ...

...

or... a large hole... ... ,,,

oh THANK GOD he’s jumping on top of him. so clearly he’s fine because Shounen Rules. that’s right, this is a manga where Toga survived blowing up from the inside out and Jeanist survived being murdered and stuffed into a tote bag. (right??) why am I so tense I hate this!!

HEY WHAT IS THIS

or you could just KNOCK HIM OUT??? ?????!??! did they not teach you that in peewee assassin league?! Hawks

I DON’T LIKE THIS I DIDN’T SIGN UP FOR THIS!!

STOP SHOWING US TWICE’S SAD THOUGHTS YOU BASTARD NO I DON’T LIKE THIS YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE ME CRY SO STOP!!

GODDAMMIT HORIKOSHI I FUCKING HATE YOU

“HERE’S A SERIES OF PANELS WITH TWICE CRYING AND THINKING ABOUT TOGA WHILE HAWKS HOLDS A FUCKING KNIFE RIGHT ABOVE HIS EYE,” HORIKOSHI SAYS WHILE IGNORING EVERYTHING I SAY AND DISABLING ALL COMMENTS ON HIS TWITTER, PROBABLY. WOW I JUST LOOKED IT UP AND APPARENTLY YOU CAN’T DO THAT? DAMN, TWITTER REALLY SUCKS, BUT ANYWAY

FINE THEN DABI YOU CAN SET HIM ON FIRE!!

JOKE’S ON YOU ASSHOLES, YOU CAN’T HURT ME IF I CAN’T SEE THE LAST PAGE OF THE CHAPTER THROUGH ALL MY TEARS

FUCK

[SLAMS HANDS ON TABLE] THE FUCK WAS THAT

DON’T YOU EVEN DARE, HORIKOSHI. I DON’T WANT TO HEAR ANY “BUT YOU GAVE HIM PERMISSION”, COME THE FUCK ON, YOU AND I BOTH KNOW THAT DIDN’T MEAN SHIT AND I WAS LIABLE TO CHANGE MY MIND YET AGAIN ONLY A PAGE LATER AS PER USUAL! WHAT SORT OF TWISTED MIND WOULD DECIDE THAT THE ONLY WAY TO SAVE TWICE WAS TO SET THE ENTIRE ROOM ABLAZE AND THEN HAVE DABI GLEEFULLY STOMP ON HAWKS’S FACE. WHAT KIND OF SICK MONSTER WOULD DREAM THIS UP. THIS ISN’T HOT AT ALL. HOW DARE YOU

ALSO WTF DABI, “HERE I COME TO RESCUE TWICE” WHILE BURNING HIM ALIVE AS WELL, JESUS CHRIST THESE FUCKING TODOROKIS I SWEAR TO GOD. DID YOUR BRAIN CELLS CATCH FIRE TOO

I CAN’T BELIEVE I WAITED ALL WEEK IN A FUCKING LOCKDOWN FOR THIS SHIT. THIS CHAPTER WAS A FUCKING TRAIN WRECK, AND I DON’T KNOW IF I WANT TO THANK ITS STUPID CONDUCTOR, OR PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE. it’s not the manga we need, but it’s the one we deserve. I guess

[vagrantblvrd]

Hi friend! Superhero au with Jerevinwood? Ryan & Fiona are a duo & she is the driving force to get the three of these idiots together. She & Lindsay just >:3c at these three at all times. Gav & J another super(hero/villain) & Ry & Fiona are also super(h/v). They run into Gav & J & always have these flirty stand offs, Fiona is 100% done, Linds is greatly amused by all of this & helps her wife get them together but shenanigans happen & they get together anyways, much to Fiona & Lindsday's relief.

Holy shit, I love it?

Like, yessssss.

I really love the idea of Ryan as this (mostly) hapless idiot superhero? Like, sure, he’s not a heavy-hitter like Fiona is?

But he comes up with the armor/gadgets/vehicles/mini-robot army.

Literally in a way, because tiny little robots about yea high - maybe six inches tall at the most - that help him around his workshop. Little helpers who hand him tools when he asks for them and pick up pick up screws and nuts/bolts that fall behind/under the worktable.and otherwise would be lost for forever.

The leader (butler) robot that rides around on Ryan’s shoulder/hovers about and nags him beeping and the whatnot not unlike R2-D2 or some other adorable movie robot because Ryan is what experts would call a fuckin’ nerd. (Fondly, though.)

There’s this old cross between the Master Chief/Ironman-ish suit in the back o f the workshop Ryan used in his younger years? But he could never fine-tune it enough for it to be useful in prolonged fights/situations. (Put strain on his body and such doctors warned him about and he was all lol, i’m fine! until there was this situation that dragged on for too damn long and he ended up in a Convenient Coma for a bit and just.

Yeah.

So he quit that team - they cared more about what he could do with his suit than his well-being and anyway, anyway, 90% turned evil after he left, so yes.

Decided to retire after that, make a quiet living doing something suitably nerdy.techish and tinkering away in a garage workshop in the suburbs where he pretended to be some normal dude.

One day he catches a report on the news one day about this new hero that showed up who was fucking the bad guys up? Like seriously going to town on them, but obviously young and while she had some great moves she barely won the fight and anyway, anyway.

He pushes the incident out of his head because he’s retired and it’s not his business?

But then he’s in town and there’s yet another incident that he (naturally) gets caught up in because wrong place at the wrong time.

Tiny butler robot hiding in his coat pocket or tucked into his scarf and pulled up jacket collar is beeping insistently at him as some asshole goes past rampaging away, and then the super he saw on the news shows up to stop them.

Which you know, they do? But it’s...messy. (Happens with supers new to the life, more focused on stopping the supervillain they go a little overboard. Happens to all of them, just needs some training/experience to get that kind of stuff down.)

So, hey.

Ryan’s grateful for the new super saving his life and all? But they’ll figure their shit out just fine and off he toddles home.

Or would, but then butler!robot sneaks off to drop a little piece of paper - maybe even totally normal civilian guy Ryan’s business card - into the super’s pocket, or the equivalent without either of them noticing.

So you can imagine Ryan’s surprise when also totally normal civilian lady Fiona shows up at his house/business and is like, “Hey, dude.”

She stopped the supervillain but they’ve since escaped or been released on a technicality or something along those lines, and there’s nothing she can do about it?

But then that surprise!business card that’s maybe a clue/lead as to the supervillain’s identity?

So off she goes to check this guy out, expecting some classic underground lair or whatever, but it’s just a well-equipped workshop for a nerd of Ryan’s (normal civilian Ryan, because his real workshop is in a hidden sub-sub-basement with, idk, biometric security measures or something suitably impressive to access) caliber.

He is all ??? at how she got his business card, but butler!robot is being super sketch so he figures it out really fast.

Some chit-chatting goes on and it doesn’t take long for him to realize Fiona’s totally the new super? And that she’s here for something, even though he doesn’t know what?

Realizes after a while she think he’s suspicious as hell, but it’s more amusing to him than annoying and he just. Goes along with it. Plays up his borderline supervillain tendencies like whoah all this ominous sounding stuff you’d expect from a baddie pretending to be a bad guy but not putting too much effort into it?

Fiona makes up an excuse to come back to his workshop some other day. Maybe talks about commissioning him to make her a butler!robot too as a cover story or something and he’s like “Okay!” :D because this whole thing is amusing as hell, and also he likes her?

And then!

Montage sequence of dumbasses becoming friends and Ryan’s tiny robot army totally liking Fiona more than him. (They don’t, but goddamn are his reactions hilarious when they pretend they do, and also Fiona’s in on it with them. Makes all these comments and gives him looks like she’s about to steal all his tiny robot friends.)

ANYWAY.

The escaped/released supervillain strikes again and Fiona goes off to fight them, but this time she’s obviously outmatched. (Supervillain’s called in friends/invested in better/more henchpeoples.)

Ryan watches it on the news, sees Fiona go down hard and get carted off to the supervillain’s lair. Presumably going to be a public execution later, Ryan doesn’t know for sure because he turned the tv of in the middle of the asshole’s Supervillain Victory Speech(TM).

Quiet down in the secret workshop aside from the tiny robot army bustling about picking up dropped parts/cleaning up/that one endearingly slow one that’s stuck in a corner like a roomba that’s lost its way.

Butler!robot hovering over his shoulder with this worried air about it because it’s super fond of Fiona.

Ryan manages to pretend he’s not worried for a little bit longer, but it’s bullshit and his robot army knows damn well it is.

And, look.

He’s been tinkering with his old suit here and there for years, because it’s always bothered him that he couldn’t get the damn thing to work the way it’s supposed to?

Still not perfect, but might not kill him if he wears it too long now. (He’s 70-ish% sure about that.)

No time to think about that, though, because gotta save Fiona?

So he gets into the suit and packs along some new gadgets and the whatnot he wasn’t not making for Fiona (figured he could get then into her hands without her realizing who they’re from) and goes off to save the day.

Which doesn’t go exactly to plan, but neither of them die and the supervillain ends up headed to supervillain prison and then it’s like.

“Huh.”

Because Fiona totally knows it’s him - helmet of the suit got severely damage in the fight and he had to ditch it. And also she knows that he knows she’s a super. (Only an idiot wouldn’t have figured it out, which is why the supervillain still doesn’t know.)

And then, you know.

Superhero duo?

Ryan mostly does the gadget thing, but he keeps working on the suit and eventually gets to a point he’s 85-90% sure it won’t be the death of him any time soon and goes about superheroing with her.

Which is how they meet Jeremy, who’s this little idiot trying to become a major player in the supervillain world. (Because reasons?)

Also this internationally renowned thief/anti-hero in Gavin who has this Thing with Jeremy?

Works with him when he’s not gallivanting about being wanted by the likes of Interpol and all that?

Thinks Jeremy’s ridiculous - like he’s not Evil(TM) but he sure likes the idea of being a supervillain or, just. who knows with him.

Fiona is like OMG when she realizes what’s going on between the three of them?

And like. To be honest, so is Gavin because he totally figured out the whole love-triangle thing the tabloids - and even reputably news outlets - are always on about when it comes to the three of them is way off the mark. But it’s fun watching the other two fumble about figuring their shit out.)

I’m just. Fiona and Gavin having coffee and the whatnot as their normal civilian personas to gossip about their idiots and otherwise shenanigate? Thief/anti-hero Gavin being ~chased by Fiona while Ryan and Jeremy square off/flirt outrageously?

(Absolutely bet on whether or not smooches take place while they’re ”fighting” or if the whole “Oh, no, I’ve been pinned!!1!” while engaging in sexy fighting - which honestly ends with at least one (1) smooch most of the time, so it’s win-win all around.)

As to the Lindsay/Fiona side of things?

I love the idea of Lindsay as a veterinarian/back alley doctor that Jeremy and Gavin go to for help when they get hurt and don’t want to risk a hospital/whatever?

Which is how Ryan and Fiona find out about her - Jeremy and Gavin accused of some heinous crime. End up being hunted by everyone in the city and only Ryan and Fiona think they’re innocent/being framed and yes.

OR.

Lindsay’s the mayor/deputy mayor who’s the one who really does the work around the city. Meets Fiona when Lindsay’s been kidnapped/being held hostage and it’s superhero meet-cute 101?

Ryan is like, OMG because how often does this shit happen? But also, “Just hurry up and get her number, the supervillain’s getting away!”

And then!

Idiot boys figure their shit out because some baddie from Ryan’s past comes to town and due to plot reasons has this grudge against Ryan?

Which naturally means all his loved ones are in danger because of it, and this assholes goes after the ~supervillains Ryan’s obviously in love with because who else to use to make Ryan hurt more?

This whole deal where Ryan insists on putting his suit on. He’s just made improvements to it that are untested but of course he doesn’t give a damn about that because his idiot love interests!!1!

So off he goes, and he doesn’t do too badly at first? But this asshole planned for that, and manages to capture Ryan.

Whole bit where he’s forced to watch as this asshole nearly kills Jeremy and Gavin before Fiona (and some other allies they’ve made since then) show up to save the day.

Everyone leaving the three of them alone while they oversee the asshole being taken into custody and the whatnot and just.

Super awkward Confessions of Love and the whatnot and them helping one another out of the secret lair where Fiona and Lindsay and whoever else are waiting on them and just.

Yes.

ALSO.

I kind of want Fiona’s power to be super strength or fire-based because lololol?

AND.

Her and Ryan’s dynamic is totally that one where he has to hold her back all the time?

Like always down to fucking fight someone Fiona (Lindsay’s words, not his) and poor Ryan trying to keep her from punching every asshole who makes the mistake of catching her attention.

Actually picks her up and carries her off while he’s wearing his suit one day with her fighting to get out of his hold to fuck some assholes up, and everyone being !!! because what the hell???

(Ryan just. Shaking his head because those assholes have no idea how close to death they just came. Figuratively, because Fiona would really have killed them? But wow would they be hurting.)

[taegis-gf]

A little help from my friend - Part 2

Hiiiii! Part 2, I know this is months apart but I only write when I can!

Part 1 Here!

Word Count - Around 3K

Rated M - warnings: thigh riding,  sex lol

It had only been a day after you and Taehyung had done what you did before he texted you.

It was like he wasn’t even bothered about what you had done and you hadn’t stopped thinking about it, it had consumed your every moment for the past 24 hours, you sighed loudly as you glanced at the text.

Movie night at Namjoons!!! hope ur coming!!

How was he back to being his same old self with you so fast?

After about 5 minutes of staring blankly at your wall, your phone buzzed again. As you looked down it was a text, from Jungkook this time.

hey, hope ur coming to namjoon’s, i want to see u :)

You let out a long groan of frustration, you were going to go to this stupid movie night.

*

As you arrived at Namjoon’s doorstep you took a deep breath, this didn’t have to be weird if you didn’t make it, right? Nothing had changed between you and Taehyung, at least that’s what you tried to convince yourself as you knocked on Namjoon’s door.

“Y/N!” Namjoon greets you warmly, pulling you in for a hug.

“Hey Namjoon, did I miss the start of the movie?” You asked, knowing your internal debate had caused you to be late.

“No no of course not, you know how we are, we haven’t even picked the damn movie yet.” He laughed as you followed him down to his basement which had been renovated into a small but decent living space where you all liked to hang out from time to time.

As you followed him down the stairs and into the space you quickly glanced around to see the two small couches already being taken up by 5 boys, Namjoon had his own chair that he didn’t let anyone sit on, so there you were standing like an idiot with nowhere to sit. You played it off, going to sit on the ground.

“Woah!” Jimin – you knew him but definitely not as well as Namjoon and Taehyung – started, “I saved you a seat right here Y/N.” he said tapping his lap. You scoffed and rolled your eyes “In your dreams Park.”

“Oh, you are.” He said, smirking at you. Why are men disgusting?

“Hey if there’s anyone’s lap you should be sitting on, it’s Jungkook’s, am I right?” Namjoon chimed in and you could have slapped him then and there.

You glanced at Jungkook who gave you a small smile and you couldn’t help as your eyes glanced to Taehyung for a small second who had his face buried in his phone, typical.

“You mind?” you said looking at Jungkook.

“You want to sit on m-my lap?” He asked stuttering a little, his eyes widening.

“No you idiot,” You scoffed. “I just meant can I sit on the floor where your sitting and lean my back against the couch.”

“So you want to get in between his legs?” Jimin asked, still smirking.

As you sat on the floor you just rolled your eyes, boys were tiring.

Taehyung, however, who was usually the nosiest in any room at any given time, was being eerily quiet, acting like his phone screen was the most interesting thing in the world. You let out a small sigh, you really hoped it wasn’t because of what you had asked of him.

As the boys finally agreed on a movie and turned off the lights you asked Namjoon if he had any snacks.

“There might be some in the kitchen, go up and check.” He said casually. 

Namjoon had said a long time ago that he wasn’t treating anyone that came to his house like guests otherwise he wouldn’t get a moments peace, so if you wanted something you were getting it yourself.

You got up and started walking up the stairs, making your way to the kitchen you didn’t even realise Taehyung had been behind you until you turned only to be a few centimetres away from his face.

“Jesus Taehyung you scared me half to death.” You said after nearly jumping out of your skin.

“Sorry,” he said giving you a small smile, “just decided I wanted something sweet to eat.” And you could have sworn he said it in such a way, you were the something sweet he was referring to.

“Oh.” Was all you said, before turning your back to him, opening a cupboard. You spotted some cookies on the top shelf and decided to reach for them, as suspected you were too short and after a small struggle, you felt Taehyung press behind you, his crotch pushing into your ass for a short second before he grabbed the cookies and moved away from you again. 

“Can you stop that.” You said, your cheeks heating.

“Stop what?” Taehyung asked, feigning innocence. 

“You know exactly what you’re doing Taehyung!” You said, feeling frustrated.

Taehyung walked forward, pinning you against the counter.

“This is so stupid, but… I cannot stop thinking about you. What have you done to me? Do you have a magic pussy?” He asked, breathing heavy.

You could’ve laughed if he hadn’t been standing so close to you, moving in slowly, putting his lips to your neck in short sweet kisses.

“Taehyung, give it a rest…we can’t do this…Jungkook…”

“I don’t mind sharing,” Taehyung said, still working on your neck.

“I know your freaky ass doesn’t, but I doubt Jungkook would be happy about this.”

You could barely concentrate on what you were saying as Taehyung kissed and licked at your neck, pressing his clothed crotch against yours.

“Hmm you are so pure, I can’t stop thinking about how I wrecked you, are you sore?” He asked.

You were a little, Taehyung had made you sure you felt what had happened. 

You gave him a small nod.

“That pretty pussy of yours took me so well, you did amazing for your first time.”

You couldn’t believe how bold Taehyung was being with his words but truth be told, you loved it.

You wanted so bad to egg him on, to have him take you out to his car and fuck you until you couldn’t remember your own name.

Like he was reading your mind, he spoke, “How do you feel about car sex?”

You let out a small moan as he looked at you his pupils blown out.

“Such a pretty sound.” He said.

“Fuck…Tae…I can’t. It was a one-time thing. I did this so I could finally get the courage to fuck Jungkook, remember?”

Taehyung frowned a little.

“I know.” He said sighing a little. “But it was so fucking hot. I didn’t know it was going to be like that.”

You groaned a little.

“Taehyung…we have to go back downstairs people will begin to wonder where we are.”

“Okay okay,” He said, finally moving away from you, but you couldn’t lie, you already missed the feeling of him against you.

You took a deep breath, trying to compose yourself.

As you both walked downstairs you tried to act casual, even pretending to look at your phone as you walked towards where you were sitting.

“What’d you get?” Namjoon asked and you waved the cookies in the air before throwing them to him, you didn’t feel hungry for food anymore.

“Sweet!” He said ripping open the packet like some primal animal.

“Y/N!” You heard Taehyung say. “Come sit on my lap, at least it’s not weird that way.” 

You were going to kill him. If you protested too hard people would wonder why - you and Taehyung had always been comfortable with each other.

You looked behind at Jungkook and he simply shrugged, not seeming too bothered.

You let out a heavy sigh as Namjoon switched the lights off again, trying to find your way over to Taehyung in the darkness, you reached out your hands. Taehyung responded by grabbing them and pulling you down to him. You fell into him awkwardly, grunting in annoyance.

“I don’t know what you’re hoping to gain from this.” You hissed at him, keeping your voice low. Luckily it was dark, and the movie was loud.

Taehyung let you adjust yourself and once you had perched yourself at the edge of his knee, you sighed heavily, this was exhausting.

Before you could even realise what was happening Taehyung began shaking his knee causing you to spread your legs to plant your feet on the floor so you wouldn’t fall. Your core landed directly onto Taehyung’s meaty thigh and you nearly groaned out loud, this boy was smart.

Taehyung leaned forward, “I’m so glad you wore that little skirt, do me a favour and move your panties to the side.”

You took a shallow breath, surely he can’t be serious?

“Do it for me, baby, just shift them over a little.”

You nervously looked around, no one was looking at you.

As if a woman possessed you quickly lifted a little and did what Taehyung had asked, moving the lace to the side so that your core laid bare on Taehyung’s jeans. You quickly retrieved your hand from such an inappropriate place, what the fuck was wrong with you?

Taehyung just watched you, feeling so turned on he nearly came in his boxers.

“Good girl, now use me.” Was all he said.

You hesitated, far too nervous to even do anything let alone grind yourself on his thigh.

Taehyung shifted his thigh and little and felt the full sensation of his thigh against your bare core.

And fuck did it feel good, you moved your hips a little, keeping a slow and steady pace, you could not risk getting caught.

Just a few days before you had never done anything sexual in your life, how did you end up here?

“Come on babe, ride me properly.” 

Jesus Christ, it took everything in your being not to moan.

You picked up the pace a little, you were practically dripping onto Tae’s thigh. 

You needed more, you needed him inside you, this wasn’t enough.

“What’s wrong? Why are you slowing down?” He whispered in your ear.

You were so turned on you didn’t even care how crude you were being when you whispered back.

“I want you- your ya know…” You practically whined.

Taehyung couldn’t get both of you up fast enough and then all eyes were on you both.

You tried your hardest to look normal, but you weren’t sure if it worked.

“Guy’s I’m just going to drive Y/N home then come back, she said she thinks she’s getting a migraine.”

A valid excuse, considering you did get them frequently. Taehyung was a good liar.

“I can drive you home Y/N.” Jungkook piped up and you immediately felt guilt. What the fuck had you been thinking sneaking away with Taehyung? You felt so stupid being blinded by lust, you were better than that.

“Yeah, that would be great Jungkook. Thanks.” You said.

“But-” Taehyung began to protest and you shoved an elbow into his ribs. 

Jungkook smiled at your agreement, standing up and leading you upstairs.

Your phone began to ding and you already knew who it was.

You quickly glanced at your phone, scanning just a few messages.

U know our fuck was gonna be  sooooo good!!!

Cnt believe u left w him THAT horny

Wait…ur not gonna fuck him… r u?????

You nearly laughed out loud, turning your attention away from your phone and focusing on the back of Jungkook’s head. As you followed him out to his car you grew a little frustrated you had basically blue-balled yourself, you had been so close to coming just a few mere minutes ago.

“You okay?” Jungkook asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” You quipped.

Horny was an understatement. 

As you got into Jungkook’s car you found yourself unable to keep your eyes off him, watching the veins in his arms as he changed gears, watching the concentration on his face as he kept his eyes forward. He was stunning and you no longer had the fear that was holding you back the last time.

As he pulled up at your apartment you felt insatiable.

“Do you wanna come in?” You asked him casually.

“I thought you had a headache?” He said, his eyebrows furrowing, you noted how cute he looked doing that.

“Yeah, I kind of do, but I still wouldn’t mind some company.” You pouted. “We could watch a movie or something, maybe finish the one that was on in Namjoon’s.”

Jungkook nodded slowly unsure what you were really getting at.

“Yeah sounds good.” He said.

As you led him into your apartment you shut the door and watched him as he settled himself on the couch. He had on jeans this time around, tight around his thighs you noticed how much they accentuated the shape. Fuck was the only thought you could muster. You could still feel the wetness that had gathered at your entrance and you wanted nothing more than to finish what you started, even though it had been Taehyung who had started it.

“So what do you wanna watch?” He asked, he was shifting about a little, he looked almost uncomfortable and you wondered why.

“I don’t know, were you enjoying the movie at Namjoon’s? I’m sorry I dragged you away.” You said as you sat next to him, not too close but close enough so you were nearly touching his side. 

You were being tactile, but you couldn’t help yourself.

“It’s fine, I wasn’t paying any attention to it, for the most part, I was thinking about how jealous I was of Taehyung the whole time.” He said, still looking forward.

Your eyes widened in surprise, you knew he hadn’t seen what you had been doing, but if the mere thought of you with Taehyung had made him jealous…

God you were so turned on it was bordering sinful.

“You know…” You began. “If you wanted me to sit on your lap all you had to do was ask Jungkook.” You said, smiling-what you hoped looked-seductively at him.

It was Jungkook’s turn to look surprised.

You took your chance to straddle him again. You were ready this time and the excitement boiled in your stomach making your core throb. 

Jungkook kept his hands at his side for a moment, a little bit stunned at your actions.

But when you bent your head to kiss him he slowly raised them to your hips once again putting you in the same position you had been in a few nights ago. 

“I’m sorry about the other night.” You said breathily between kisses.

“I didn’t mean to leave things like that, truth be told I just got scared.” You admitted, breaking away a little to see his reaction. 

Jungkook just smiled at you sweetly.

“I’m relieved to hear that, if I’m being honest I thought you’d lost interest after kissing me, I thought you didn’t find me attractive or something…” He trailed off.

God was he serious? You had made someone as beautiful as him feel inferior?

“No god no, are you kidding me? Have you seen you?” You rambled

But Jungkook merely chuckled, more than eager to kiss you again, he closed the space between you once more.

Jungkook kissed you so intensely it made your damn head spin.

You didn’t know what was turning you on more, the feeling of his tongue in your mouth or the fact that his hands how now made their way down to your ass.

As you both found a comfortable rhythm you found yourself getting so worked up you started to grind down on Jungkook’s noticeably hardening cock.

A small moan left your lips as you finally got some relief and Jungkook copied your sound clearly loving the sensation as well.

“God you know how long I’ve been waiting for this?” Jungkook moaned in between kissed.

“Definitely not as long as I have.” You replied, struggling to get your breath back.

You mewled a little, grinding down onto him more, you could not get enough of him.

You slowly pulled away, to pull off your shirt and leave you in your bra, it wasn’t anything fancy but the look on Jungkook’s face could tell you it was more than enough.

“Do you know how sexy you are?” He asked his breathing was heavier now, he looked flushed and a light sheen of sweat was beginning to appear above his brows.

“Hmmmmmmm, I could say the same about you.” You said as you removed yourself from his lap, standing up you began shedding more clothes and started moving towards your bedroom, Jungkook couldn’t get up fast enough, following you whilst shedding his clothes, when you opened your bedroom door you felt him grab at your waist walking with you over to the bed you both lay down Jungkook on top, only in his underwear now and you boldly decided to reach down and palm at his length.

Jungkook let out a moan of relief finally getting some real friction.

You rolled him over and took your place straddling his hips, looking at him you reached down and pulled down his boxers finally freeing him.

“Are you sure you wanna do this?” He asked, his chest was heaving as he stared at the image of your hand holding his hard dick.

“Hmmm.” Was all you said as you glided your hand slowly back and forth over him.

 You slid your flimsy underwear to the side and began to slowly lower yourself onto him, gasping at the sensation as you began to have sex for the second time in your life. 

Jungkook let out a low groan as you finally took in his full length.

“Please,” Jungkook whined as he opened his mouth in pleasure.

You slowly began to move, not entirely sure what to do in this new position, rotating your hips for a few seconds to adjust to the pressure, it wasn’t long before Jungkook grabbed your hips and thrust into you.

“Fuck, keep doing that.” You said as he began to piston his hips.

You both got lost in each other as your pleasure began to build, it wasn’t long before Jungkook flipped you over and began fucking you into the bed. You bit down on your lip to keep yourself from being as loud as you wanted to be. 

“I wanna hear you, babe, don’t hold out on me.” He said, panting and smiling.

“Please fuck me harder…feel’s so fucking good.” 

Jungkook let out a groan at the sound of your words happily obliging to your request.

He thrusted harder and faster and you could feel your orgasm approaching.

Jungkook reached his hand down and began rubbing at your clit sloppily but it was enough for you to let out a small yelp, your pleasure intensifying.

“Want you to come for me, please, I’m so close,” Jungkook said.

“Me too, ah fuck- I’m so close too.” You replied through moans.

Jungkook was slowing down but the pressure on your clit grew rougher and you bucked your hips up chasing your orgasm that was about to crash down on you at any moment.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck!” You half yelled as you orgasm washed over you.

You were so lost in the immense pleasure you felt you couldn’t even focus on the feeling of Jungkook pulling out of you only to come all over your stomach you only smiled at the feeling.

As you slowly came back to reality Jungkook spoke first.

“I made such a mess baby I’m sorry.”

“Mmmm, don’t worry, it felt good.” You replied. You slowly reached a finger down and rubbed into on your stomach picking up a little bit before popping your finger into your mouth relishing in the taste.

“Oh fuck.” Was all Jungkook could manage, his breathing still heavy.

You laughed a little, mind fleeting back to Taehyung for a minute you silently thanked him before following Jungkook into the shower.

[shima-draws]

Shima Shima Shima please tell us all about your Wonderland AU for Tododeku!!!

Oohhh! Ooohh I would love to okay let’s see

Honestly it would probably just be easier for me to explain the original movie’s plot rather than just. Trying to make sense of what you don’t know with Izuku and everybody else’s involvement so.

Note that all of this is purely from memory having seen the movie once like, a couple weeks ago in theaters LMAO so there’s definitely gonna be some things I’m hazy on. But! The movie’s online now so after I watch it again I’ll update this post with a better summary!

Under the cut for MAJOR spoilers and also bc it got really long!

So! The Wonderland! It’s about a girl named Akane who isn’t terribly self-assured. She has friends and has a good life but she’s sort of…timid, so she doesn’t put herself out there when she should. This causes issues within her group of friends and even with her own mother, who Akane is sort of distanced from.

The day before her birthday, Akane’s mother sends her to meet up with her older friend Chii to receive a birthday gift. Akane does NOT want to go because Chii’s very…overbearing, and excited, and very very outgoing, completely opposite to her. Chii travels all around the world gathering antiques for her shop (mostly light fixtures tho) and is a pro at haggling trades and prices. Akane calls her a witch bc she rips people off sometimes lmao

Akane arrives at the shop and finds a strange slab with an indented handprint. Akane fits her hand into the indent and finds that it fits perfectly!! This causes a reaction which calls upon a resident from Wonderland, an alchemist named Hippocrates, to arrive from Chii’s basement (which is basically just a little storage hole). Chii immediately gets a broom and starts hitting him with it, calling him a creep and an intruder LMAO

Hippocrates explains that Akane is the Goddess of the Green Wind, and that Wonderland needs her help. Next to Akane, on the table, a little doll springs to life, who’s revealed to be a tiny little chibi character named Pipo who works as Hippocrates’ apprentice. (He’d been hiding there all morning, I guess to scope out the person whose hand would fit into the indentation.) Akane’s hand is still stuck in the little slab by the way and she keeps freaking out. She says she absolutely does not want to go to Wonderland to help them, so Hippocrates gifts her with an item called the momentum anchor. Essentially it’s an item that forces a person to keep moving forward and looking ahead when they try to go back. (Basically it’s an item that forces character development which is pretty wild lol) After Akane gets her hand free, the momentum anchor forces her to accompany Hippocrates and Pipo to Wonderland. Chii decides fuck it she’s going on a magical adventure too, and tags along with them!

When they arrive in Wonderland, they end up at the top of a large sort of watchtower/nest for a huge ass bird. Chii befriends the bird, who is protecting her eggs. As they make their way to the nearest town, they run into a man and his mother, whose ride/carriage cart thing was destroyed by an enormous machine that Hippocrates calls the “armored mouse” (because it kinda looks like a mouse). The armored mouse attacks the cart and essentially swallows it, including the sweater that the old lady had made. Inside the armored mouse, the Main Antagonist ™ of Wonderland greets the newcomers. His name is Zan Gu, and he’s intimidating as all hell. He’s not openly cruel, just quiet, and isn’t afraid to assert his villainly dominance. Most of his face is hidden, but he seems to have a skeletal, sort of robotic body. His cohort, a little cat person named Doropo, teases them. Doropo’s basically a mischievous troublemaker who enjoys making fun of others and getting in people’s way.

Zan Gu and Doropo continue on in the machine, and they head straight for the watchtower. The armored mouse starts to tear up the iron staircase, disrupting the tower. Chii rushes over and manages to save one of the bird’s eggs. Hippocrates calls upon the sheep from the nearby town to come help (and they’re HUGE and FLUFFY and adorable). The sheep crowd in on the armored mouse, and Zan Gu is forced to retreat.

The man who they had saved introduces himself as the mayor of the nearest town. The group walks over to the town, surrounded by hundreds of sheep. Hippocrates explains on the way that the land is dying because there’s a lack of water, which is one of the reasons why he brought Akane there. Akane’s like “How the hell am I supposed to help you get your water back”. They pass a gorgeous flower field which slowly gets worse and more dried out.

The villagers are relieved to see Hippocrates there, who is pretty famous in this world bc of his status as an alchemist. They also jump on Akane, super excited that the Green Goddess of the Wind is here to help them! Night falls and Akane freaks out, because she’d obviously wanted to go home like hours ago, and her mother is probably worried. Chii, on the other hand, is super nonchalant about everything that just happened, and is like “Well we’re already here and it’s late so we should stay, it’ll be fine!”

The group has dinner with the mayor while his mother starts to knit a new sweater to replace the one she lost to Zan Gu. Here we get a bit more into Wonderland’s history–the mayor explains that the flowers and sheep are what they use to make these sweaters and other clothing, but they aren’t selling as well as they used to anymore bc of the water crisis. He’d originally been on his way to a place called Sakasatongara Market with his mother to enter her sweater into a contest. Hippocrates takes over and discusses the water crisis in more detail. The original Green Goddess of the Wind had come over 600 years ago, and had saved Wonderland when they were in a similar crisis. Apparently, there’s a ceremony that is performed every year called the drop mist ceremony, which properly distributes water to the whole land. This ceremony is supposed to be performed by the prince, who supposedly has a lot of magical power, coming from a generation of royalty who can control water. According to Hippocrates the prince has been gravely ill over the past year, and this is because his parents had died, leaving him to grieve and become very sick as a result. Hippocrates believes that Akane, being the new Goddess, has the power to heal the prince and allow him to perform the ceremony. Akane again denies that she has any sort of power like that. During all this Chii keeps pointing out contradicitons in Hippocrates’ story and it’s hilarious because it makes him very angry and flustered LMAO and Akane’s like “Chii-chan, you’re being super rude right now”. I can’t remember if it’s here or not, but Akane sees a picture on the wall of the previous Green Goddess, and she looks really familiar…kind of like her mother…?

The next day, the group of four (Hippocrates, Pipo, Akane and Chii) decide they’re going to travel to Sakasatongara Market in order to deliver the mayor’s mother’s sweater to be entered into the contest. The market is on the way to Timeless Rain Castle, where the prince resides. The sweater is placed into Akane’s care, who promises she will deliver it. They’re given a car, which will help greatly with the journey, and then they set off!

Akane and Chii admire the scenery of Wonderland as they travel, but are saddened when they begin to see areas that have a clear lack of water and have died out from neglect. Meanwhile, in a grungy, dark city, Zan Gu approaches a man and brings him more metal. Apparently the armored mouse had been going around collecting metal, which we find out later that it’s so the armored mouse can be upgraded and reinforced even more to wreak more havoc (along with one other essential upgrade, which I’ll get to later). The man says he needs more metal if he wants to make something out of what they have. Zan Gu does his whole “threaten the victim” schtick, and guarantees he’ll bring more, as long as the job gets done. (I might be remembering these sections out of order but it all happens within the same timeframe, more or less.)

Back to Akane and co., they’re driving in the desert and they head right into the biggest fucking dust storm in the world. They take shelter under a large rock, hiding out there until the storm blows over. They were given huge fluffy suits (bascially fursuits) that were made from the sheep. They’re pink and comfy but horribly embarrassing for Hippocrates in particular to wear LMAO but they’re a great shelter for the storm. After the storm subsides, Hippocrates attempts to fix the car, but finds it’s getting late and that they’ll have to wait until the morning to do so. In the middle of the night, Akane wakes up to see Chii standing outside, looking at the stars. It’s absolutely gorgeous and beautiful.

The next morning, Hippocrates fixes the car! Hooray! With that they drive further north and arrive in a very snowy little village. Akane hears more stories about how things were when water was plentiful, and they’re exposed firsthand to how the shortage has caused people to become greedy. Zan Gu shows up while Hippocrates is out refueling and Doropo threatens the inn owner into giving up food and water. Zan Gu has an intense staredown with Akane but doesn’t do anything more before leaving.

Hippocrates sees the armored mouse on the move and follows them. At this point the mouse has been upgraded and looks more terrifying than ever, and can bulldoze and tear things apart much easier. Zan Gu goes to receive new materials, which are revealed to be missiles for a cannon. Hippocrates intervenes, but Doropo uses his magic to turn the alchemist into a fly.

Akane and Chii worry about Hippocrates’ whereabouts, but with some prodding, decide to head to Sakasatongara Market without him since they’re on a bit of a time crunch, seeing as the drop mist ceremony has to be performed the next day. They pass by Hippocrates’ house (but Pipo informs them nobody is there) and Pipo’s childhood home in the trees, where tons of other little chibi sprites hang about. The girls travel through a steep mountain range as Hippocrates tries to guide them–but being a fly, he keeps getting ignored and brushed off, even by Pipo, who can’t tell it’s him. Eventually they have to drive over a rickety wooden bridge, and Chii teases Akane about her nonexistent love life at school in an attempt to keep things lighthearted and distract them from the terrifying ride over the bridge. Akane pokes back and makes fun of Chii for her failed conquests of men. One of the planks breaks and Chii steps on it, and they’re both screaming as they cross the rest of the bridge LOL

At some point during all this we cut to Timeless Rain Castle, where everyone is preparing for the drop mist ceremony. The prince’s closest advisers decide to go up and visit, and it’s revealed that the prince isn’t ill at all–he’s trapped within a little metal doll’s body, a curse placed upon him by Hippocrates’ “rival”. (He’s a good guy tho too, apparently.) This rival has been asleep for a long time, and is nearly impossible to wake because of how hectic his magic is. (We later see a scene in which several guards attempt to rouse him. His house is literally sitting on the edge of a cliff on one corner, the rest of it floating in the air, and he’s sleeping. No wonder they’re cautious about waking him up LMAO) Because this other magical user has been asleep, the prince has been trapped in this form for nearly a year. They scramble to find out a way to revert him to normal before the ceremony the next day.

After that it seems to be easy going for the girls. Pipo warns them nanoseconds before they drive off another bridge–and land in a giant lily pad! They’re on a huge pond now, with koi fish the size of whales. Pipo douses himself with magic dew that lets him breathe underwater and makes sure his clothes don’t get wet. Chii happily jumps in after, and Akane, after hesitating, also joins them. They ride the giant fish, who push the lily pad with their car across the pond. Akane picks up some sea shells at the bottom of the pond and puts them in her pocket to save for later.

Akane, Chii, and Pipo (and Hippocrates, still a fly) finally arrive at Sakasatongara Market!! First they have to go through customs, in which they’re judged by a group of talking cats (which Chii finds HILARIOUS). Akane is declared as a guilty party bc a few days before, she’d pulled her cat’s tail for sitting on her face. Her cat is revealed to be the leader of the group. She’s briefly given a cat tail herself, which is pulled on, so she understands how much it hurts LOL while Chii teases the rest with catnip and treats. They’re allowed entrance into the city. From the distance, they can see the prince arriving as well, presumably in the royal carriage. They have no idea he’s still in doll form.

In the prince’s tent, Hippocrates’ rival finally arrives. (Guess they managed to wake him up lol) The others beg for him to turn the prince back to normal. The wizard points out that the doll they’ve been guarding so carefully all this time is, in fact, not the prince at all. He uses his magic to transform it–revealing that it had just been a stuffed toy, acting as a decoy. Everyone panics, wondering where the actual prince has gone.

Akane and Chii gaze on as Pipo points out the well where the drop mist ceremony takes place. Sitting in the center of the city (which is p much set up like a giant stadium, with steps leading down to the middle), the well is a huge symbol of peace for the land! And it’s a central part of the ceremony, as well. Chii rushes off to bargain and barter while Akane and Pipo go to enter the old lady’s sweater into the contest.

As they’re walking around, they catch sight of Doropo, who just stole goods from a nearby shop. Pipo orders Akane to chase after him, which she does. As they follow him to the outskirts of the city, Pipo realizes that Doropo might be one of his friends from school, another chibi sprite named Ron. Ron had gone on to apprentice with the wizard, and Pipo with Hippocrates, so Ron had always viewed them as rivals.

On the outskirts of the city, Akane and Pipo see that the armored mouse is there. Moved by her own determination, Akane sneaks into the machine to see what Doropo and Zan Gu’s plans are. Hippocrates follows them in.

They catch a conversation between Doropo and Zan Gu. Zan Gu seems to be getting increasingly frustrated and hasty, and Doropo keeps blowing him off. Zan Gu eventually snaps at him, and the truth comes out. Apparently they plan to destroy the well before the ceremony can take place. If this happens, no water will come to Wonderland ever again, essentially dooming everybody. Zan Gu had gathered the missiles and upgraded the machine with a cannon to achieve this. Zan Gu blames Doropo for everything that happened to him, saying that while Doropo is obviously hesitating, he had been the one to transform him into a monster in the first place. Doropo sadly admits that he just didn’t want the prince to hate him…and this is the part that hit me HARD because we realize that Zan Gu has been the prince this whole time!! We get a flashback to when the prince was actually trapped inside the doll. He angrily says to Ron that if he could allow him to speak, he could turn him back, right? Ron makes an attempt, but he’s not that experienced with magic, so it ends up in a total disaster, transforming the prince into a basic corpse.

It’s at this point where things are set into motion. Akane eventually reveals herself. Pipo calls out Doropo on his disguise, and he transforms back into Ron. Zan Gu prepares to bust through the city walls and destroy the well. The wizard releases all of the magic Doropo had caused, making Hippocrates transform back into his regular self. Zan Gu busts into the city, and Hippocrates tries to stop him. Right as he’s lining up to take the shot at the well, Akane grabs onto him and starts her Grand Heroine Speech. She points out that Zan Gu–the prince–was scared, and that’s why he was doing this, because he was trying to run away from his responsibility. The prince explains his story in detail.

The drop mist ceremony, being a very important one among their family for generations, had been successfully performed by his father and grandfather. However, pressure from his parents, peers and all of Wonderland was too much for the prince to handle, so he started to reject any practices of the ceremony. After his parents passed, that pressure became even worse, because he was the only one left able to perform the ceremony properly. He got angry and scared and started to push everyone away and lash out at those who tried to help. Eventually it got so bad that the wizard had to come in and use his magic to transform the prince into the metal doll, essentially trapping him there as punishment and as a way to reflect on his mistakes. This obviously angered the prince, being trapped in a body that couldn’t move or speak, which eventually led to Ron’s involvement and his transformation. The prince wants to destroy it all, either out of revenge or maybe because he just has little to no empathy in this form and is only full of negative emotions, who can say…

Akane goes on to encourage him again despite all this, and tells him he’s not alone, that she promises she’ll be there to help him. She tells him how inspired she’s become traveling through Wonderland, getting to meet all of the wonderful people, and seeing how beautiful it is. She says she wants to save it, and that she wants to help the prince. Her words, and her change, break the curse on the prince, transforming him back into his adorable princely self. The prince agrees to perform the ceremony. Chii meets up with the group and apologizes to Akane for leaving her alone to deal with everything. Akane asks Hippocrates if they can make another momentum anchor for the prince, because the one she has helped her a lot along her journey and pushed her in the right direction, and she feels like that’s what the prince needs, too. Akane promises to return the next morning before the ceremony to be there for the prince.

Hippocrates, Akane, Chii and Pipo travel back to the alchemist’s house. Together they spend the night making a new momentum anchor, which requires a lot of magic. Akane gives it her all to help! They successfully make a new one, and hurry back to Sakasatongara Market. It’s morning now. Akane rushes to greet the prince, and gifts him with the anchor. She says that they match now, both having anchors. (The prince gets all soft and blushy and it’s very cute.) The prince talks with his adviser, who warns him what will happen if the ceremony fails. The prince knows it’s a huge price to pay, but says he’s ready to do it.

Akane is dressed up in Green Goddess robes, similar to the ones her mother wore. She and the prince cross the bridge which hangs over the well, which is so deep that you can’t even see the bottom. With Akane’s encouragement, the prince performs the ceremony. Nothing happens. The prince knows what has to be done–he strides up to the edge and prepares to throw himself in. Akane understandably freaks out and tries to stop him. The prince explains that if the ceremony fails the performer has to offer their body as a sacrifice to make water flow again. Akane’s like I’m NOT letting you do that, and the two of them start to struggle. The prince manages to make it to the edge–and Akane topples over with him. Both of them fall into the well.

Before they hit the bottom and inevitably die, they’re saved by the wizard. He explains that it was basically a sort of test–the prince had to show he was willing enough to make a sacrifice that big. He says that Akane is special, and that the prince should thank her properly for all her help. They’re sent back up to the bridge! The ceremony begins, and the prince rushes to get into position. The well erupts with water, straight up into the sky, an enormous geyser for all the world to see. The prince takes out his sword and starts to slice the water with it, which turns them into water birds. The water birds fly all over Wonderland and rain down on the land, restoring its vitality. He turns to face Akane to see that she is crying in joy, as is Chii.

After the ceremony ends, Akane and Chii go with Hippocrates and Pipo to return to their world. Akane frets over how much time has passed since they left. Hippocrates explains that, while three days have passed in Wonderland, only three hours have passed in their world. Akane and Chii realize that if they were ever to return, everyone they met probably wouldn’t be there anymore. Apparently the original slab with the hand print Akane’s mother had made was repaired–and Akane stumbles right into the wet plaster, printing her hand there for the next generation. She attempts to give the momentum anchor back to Hippocrates, but he tells her that it had vanished a long time ago, and that Akane had been moving forward by her own momentum and decisions. Akane and Chii kiss Pipo goodbye, and they say their farewells. Hippocrates gifts Akane with a little textile with a sword on it. They head back…and emerge from the basement of Chii’s shop. When they look back at it again, it’s just the storage compartment, and nothing else. Their adventure is over.

Chii goes to take a long nap. Akane rushes home to see her mother. By now she’s made the connection that her mother was the original Green Goddess of the Wind, who saved Wonderland over 25 years ago. Her mother notices the textile and compares it to the same one Akane has in her room. Akane thinks that she feels a lot closer to her mother now. And that’s where the movie ends!

Ofc there’s tons of extra stuff that I missed LMAO but that is the basic plot of the whole thing. Now, as for the AU…Izuku is Akane, obviously, but instead of having her reluctance to go on an adventure, he’s willing, but doesn’t think he’s worthy of being a hero to anyone, and is constantly stopped because of his own fear.

Ochako is Chii–she fits perfectly with her personality lol. Iida is Hippocrates, both being super punctual and easy to fluster. Kirishima is Pipo, and Bakugou is Ron/Doropo–good fits with their characters, and also. Kiribaku moments? *eyes emoji* Todoroki is obviously the prince/Zan Gu! In the AU I’m probably going to extend things a bit further, so Izuku and Ochako stay in Wonderland a bit longer, and Todoroki falls in love with Izuku >:’D As for the smaller roles, I haven’t really decided those yet. Toshi is probably going to be the mayor, and Nana as the old lady. I’ve gotta rewatch the movie again to help me decide on the rest :’D

Buuut yeah! I’m gonna take a lot of liberties with the AU and expand on the movie waaay more, and try to fill in all the plot holes. A lot of the narration felt really abrupt so I’m gonna have fun weaving it all together so it flows! And tons of Tododeku moments because uh YEAH

That’s all for now!! If you’ve got more questions hmu, I’m super down to chat about this more!

[stellar-alley]

Everfalls

•Chapter 13•

This is based off of the artwork by oceanteeeth on Instagram! Also shout out to my Beta super.rose.cosplays!

Previous Chapter // Next Chapter

(Summary: The Losers have a sleepover! That’s all- seriously. Eddie doesn’t get jealous over Richie and Stan’s relationship nor does he walk in on something, that’d never happen LOL, unless...? )

~

Stan and Mike were the first to arrive at Bill’s that afternoon. They helped him set up and get the living room ready for the sleepover.

“Yeah my mom took Guh-Georgie with her to go visit my dad’s sister in Bangor.” Bill explained as he grabbed his chocolate milk from the fridge.

Mike peaked over Bill’s shoulder into the fridge, “Aw that’s nice. Hey Big Bill why do you have so much chocolate milk?” He tilted his head.

Stan snorted from where he was leaning against the counter, “He’ll show you” he nodded to Bill who began chugging the milk with his gatorade cape.

Mike released an over dramatic gasp, “no way” he held a hand over his mouth.

Bill lowered the jug, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, “Yes way!” Bill exclaimed.

Before the trio could say anything else they were interrupted by the sound of the doorbell. “I-I’ll get that” Bill stuttered as he put his jug down to go get the door. He opened the door wide to reveal Ben and Beverly.

“Hey!” They both greeted in unison at the sight of their friend opening the door.

Bill smiled and stepped aside, “Come on in” He motioned for them to enter.

The two set their stuff up in the family room as Bill went and grabbed his bin of DVDs and VHS from the basement for later when they wanted to watch a movie.

Richie pulled into the driveway of the Denbrough residence and killed the engine. He glanced down at his hand which tightly held Eddie’s. The wolf lifted the rabbits hand up and kissed his knuckles. “Try and have some fun tonight, okay?” He winked at the blushing bunny.

“I’ll try.” Eddie agreed.

The two got out and retrieved their bags from the back of the jeep, walking side by side up the main pathway and onto the front step. Richie reached out and rang the doorbell, he sent a smile at Eddie who mirrored his grin.

The door swung open to reveal Stanley Uris who leaned up against the doorframe with a small smile at the sight of friends, “Richard, Edward, glad you two could make it”.

“Staniel the Maniel, a pleasure as always” Richie smiled as he wrapped the golden haired human up in a tight hug.

Richie let out a little breath at the sudden physical attention but eventually returned the hug. “Good to see you too Trashmouth” He smiled as Rihcie let him go. Eddie smiled at him, “Same to you Eddie” he smiled, the two mentally agreeing to not engage in a hug.

Everyone said their hellos and eventually gravitated towards the family room where they all found their respected spots. Richie sat sprawled out on the recliner with Eddie sat on the floor in front of him. Mike and Bill shared the love seat while Stan sat on the arm rest and leaned up against the back, while Ben and Bev shared the other love seat.

“Okay what do you guys wanna watch first?” Mike asked the group as they all glanced around at each other, as if Mike had just opened Pandora’s box because all hell just broke loose.

Beverly wanted to watch the new movie with J Lo, Hustlers, which Stan said no to. Bill wanted to watch Back to the Future which everyone automatically disagreed with as that would’ve been their 10th time watching it together. Stan wanted to watch the new National Geographic documentary on birds, which everyone but Eddie said no to. Richie started shouting about watching his all time favourite movie The Hangover, which Stan refused to watch again, he claimed it was “Crude and Stupid” (Richie took great offense to that).

“Guys what about Toy Story?” Ben piped up. Even though everyone was having a shouting contest they all quickly quieted down and looked over at him.

Bev hummed happily, “I haven’t seen that movie in ages!”.

“Isn’t that like a kids movie?” Stan countered.

Mike nudged him, “But it is a classic” he wiggled his eyebrows.

“I-I’m always down to watch To-Toy Story” Bill agreed from beside Stan who sighed. “Fine” he slightly rolled his eyes, though he wasn’t that mad as he does generally enjoy that movie.

Eddie titled his head backwards to look up at Richie. “Rich, what’s Toy Story about?” he asked quietly in fear of the others hearing.

Richie nodded in understanding as he knew that in The All Lands they didn’t watch movies and stuff. He leaned down with an amused smile and replied, “It’s about toys that are alive, it’s cute, like you, you’ll like it”. Richie leaned back up, but left his hand down on Eddie’s head as he ruffled his soft brown hair that wasn't hidden under his beanie.

Stan and Bill got up to set up the movie. Stan switched the lights off which caused Eddie to thank some various deities as it hid his red flushed cheeks. Bill popped the movie into the DVD player before reclaiming his spot on the couch. He proceeded to flick through the options on the DVD.

Eddie leaned into his touch. Richie reciprocated by sliding his hand into the bunny’s beanie and playing with his hair, he twirled it between his fingers and smoothed down the other’s floppy ears. Eddie was practically melting into the floor. His thoughts were whipped, the only thing he thought about was how Richie’s hand felt in his hair and how if he listened close enough, he could hear Richie’s heart beating just as fast as his.

~

Everyone actually really enjoyed the movie, Eddie included. Once the credits began to roll Beverly suggested that they watch the second one as it is superior and also has some really good characters.

“Well I don’t know about you guys but I need to go use the bathroom” Mike said as he rose from his seat.

Richie tilted his head up before he spoke, “You mean the urination stat-”

Stan cut in, “Don’t you dare” He shot a glare at Richie who in return looked at him with a shit eating grin.

Mike stopped and leaned against the wall beside him, “No, no, let him speak. I wanna hear it” He nodded towards Richie which made Stan loudly sigh.

“What I was going to say before I was rudely interrupted was that the proper name for it is the urination station.” Richie broke out into a vague british accent towards the end.

“He’s not wrong” Ben giggled, recalling their past conversation.

Stan pinched the bridge of his nose as if it hurt to listen to Richie talk about this. “God, call it anything else, literally.” Yes, Stan might’ve been conveying that Richie annoyed the shit out of him and that he’d literally strangle the Trashmouth if he had the chance, but this was the way it always was. That’s just Richie and Stan’s friendship.

Richie chuckled, “Hey at least it’s better than that period where I just said ‘I gotta take a leak’” He pointed out as everyone groaned in unison.

“D-Don’t remind me” Bill lightly shook his head.

“That was terrible. Oh wait!” Stan had to stop to laugh a little, “Remember the week before Mike’s dog got neutered and he literally humped Richie’s leg so bad it left bruises?”. Everyone laughed at the memory, Stan literally snorted as he recalled the day after when Richie came in and put his foot on the table to display his bruise littered shin.

Mike, who was still leaning against the wall, clutched his stomach as he laughed. Bill held a hand over his mouth in an attempt to stifle his laugh, but that didn’t stop him from toppling off the couch and onto the floor.

Even Eddie, though he wasn't there, still laughed at the mental image. Suddenly the bunny felt a little colder as Richie moved his hand away from his head and got up from the recliner. Eddie glanced up at the wolf who leaped onto the love seat and sprawled over Stan.

In between laughs, Richie exclaimed, “Staniel gets off a good one!”. His black inky hair flopped into his face only making the trashmouth laugh more.

Stanley smiled down at him. He raised a hand and carefully swept Richie’s hair back out of his face. “Chee you’ve gotta get this shit cut.” Stan twirled a piece of black hair with his finger.

It was so subtle, Eddie almost didn’t notice it. It was so quick and natural, he almost let it slide. Chee? Did Stan just call him Chee? Whatever… It’s just a nickname, it's not like I’m the only one who calls him that. But I thought that was my nickname for him. The bunny shook his head, It’s not like anyone else calls me Eds, only Richie does, cause it’s his nickname for me. Eddie pushed the thoughts down and focused on something else in the room.

Everything else probably would’ve gone smoothly if Eddie didn’t catch Richie leaning up, off of Stan only to whisper something into his ear. Stan replied but Eddie couldn’t make it out, but whatever it was made him feel like he was moments away from throwing up his lunch.

Since everyone was still recovering from their little laugh attack, Eddie used it to his advantage, “Wow, that was a good one” He laughed nervously, standing up from where he sat on the floor, “I gotta go to the bathroom before I piss my pants.” He tried so hard to sound amused before quickly rushing out of the family room and towards the nearest bathroom.

He shut and locked the door then yanked his beanie off in an attempt to stop the incoming headache before it had too much time to form. His head and ears were hot from so much blushing and the whirlwind of emotions he was currently experiencing.

Eddie shoved the beanie into his back pocket before he moved to stand before the sink where he turned the water on cold. He leaned down and cupped his hands together under the running water and splashed it onto his face. He could practically hear the sizzling sound as the cold water touched his burning face.

What the fuck is wrong with me? Is it jealousy? Am I jealous of Stan? Why? Just cause he and Richie have been friends for years and have all these nicknames and inside jokes? Fuck, just get over it. It’s not like Richie can’t have other friends, he’s not yours. He’s Richie, and Richie is friends with everyone, just friends…

~

“Are you sure about this Staniel?” Richie whispered up to Stan as they got up to the second floor of the Denbrough residence.

Stan turned and gave him a look, “Uh-Yeah Rich, I’m pretty sure I know a murder conspiracy board when I see one.” He shot back.

After Eddie left to go use the bathroom, (Which Richie kinda found odd, something was off. He made a mental note to go check on Eddie later), the two used the opportunity to tell the others they also needed to go to the urination station, which allowed them to go upstairs without suspension.

“Okay well let’s make this quick. Don’t need Billiam having any other reasons to be spying on us.” Richie grumbled as he recalled how Bill followed Eddie home, and how worried Eddie was about this whole situation. That’s why Richie decided to go with Stan, alone. He wanted to check it out for himself before they showed Eddie. He didn’t want to give him another thing to stress him out more than he already was.

Stanley led the werewolf towards Bill’s room. He nudged the door open and slid through the crack. Once they were inside Stanley moved to stand in front of the desk. His heart still skipped a beat when he laid his eyes upon the display in front of them.

“Fuck” Richie gasped.

Stan watched his eyes dart from picture to picture. The big brown eyes behind the glasses followed the strings of yarn to various places on the board, as everything was somehow connected.

For a minute the golden haired boy stood beside the one with black curls as they both examined the board. Stan crossed his arms over his chest then raised one hand to stroke his chin. “He thinks Eddie is related to his father’s death, or the cause of it.” Stan theorised.

“And?” Richie asked, his voice became serious with the severity of the situation.

Stan turned to Richie, his lips in a thin line, “And?” He repeated with a tinge of attitude, “Is this true? Is Eddie connected to this?”.

Richie shook his head, unable to take in so much at once, “I-I don’t know.”

Stan took a step forward, he pointed at the picture of the white rabbit labeled ‘Last Thing On Dad’s Phone’. “Is this Eddie?” he demanded.

“I think so, Stanley I’m not sure.” Richie almost growled.

“Well he must be connected somehow or else Bill wouldn’t be so obsessed with this.” Stan leaned in closer to examine some of the notes.

Richie closed the distance between the two, “Don’t let Eddie catch wind of this, alright? We don’t tell him until we have solid proof, alright?”.

Stan was about to respond when a third voice called out to them, “Proof of what?”

The two turned around to see Eddie standing in the open doorway.

Word Count: 2230

Y'all aren't even ready for next chapter- wow I cannot wait to get it out cause that's when Eddie- Wait, did you seriously think I'd spoil my own fan fic? Aha well, you're wrong. You're just gonna have to wait and see what happens next!

On that note, I will see you all next friday with chapter 14

And don’t forget to check me out on Instagram @Stellar.Cosplays if you want to see more of my real life and some behind the scenes content!

Until then

So Long and Goodnight.

~

[Taglist]

@richietoaster @s-onora @that-weird-girl-blog @beproudtozier @ghostnebula @bellarosewrites @s-s-georgie @lermanslogan @iamcupcakefrosting @madidraw @gazebobullshit @thoughtfullyyoungduck @aangzukos @ambitiousskychild @reddieonwheels @breadheadscorpius

Let me know if you wanna be added to the tag list!

[panharmonium]

stranger things 3, a visual summary:

more coherent thoughts under the cut, because wow.

......okay.  that was a Trainwreck.  an absolute mess.

i remember when my coworkers were watching S3 (and still urging me to start season 1) and they were saying how amazing the latest season was, and honestly i think there must just be a difference in people who watch tv just to be entertained and people who watch tv and automatically evaluate the story (aka fandom veterans and English majors, lol - cue Me twice), because WHO could watch this critically and praise it that way?

it's honestly hard to know where to even begin; i've been sending frustrated notes to @brambleberrycottage ever since episode three and now that i'm done with episode 8 there's just......so much more to say

first, good things:

erica is a great character.  she's what max should have been (aka, uh.......interesting!)  i liked the realization moment where dustin was like "you're a NERD!"

that entire sequence where will is so upset with lucas and mike for not being engaged with the dnd game was very well done, especially the conversation he has with mike out in the rain.  i loved that moment where mike asked him "did you think we were just going to hang out in my basement playing games forever?" and will said, "yeah.  yeah, i guess i did."  i really felt that.  [edit, now that i've finished: this was never resolved.  will giving away his dnd books at the end was not an actual resolution to this conflict.]

steve is still a good dude, and robin was pretty cool.  i'm down for them being super friends.  but i'm still mourning the steve+nancy+jonathan trio that was a thing for like 5 seconds and then never returned.

i loved how genuinely excited steve was to see dustin when dustin came back from camp.  that was adorable.  "HENDERSON!!!!"  "how many children are you friends with?"

and uh. yeah.  i had more problems with this season than praise-bestowing moments, so.  here goes that bit.

OVERARCHING PROBLEMS:

1. keep it simple, stupid

remember in the office when dwight quoted the above advice to ryan as michael's rule for making a sale?  the same advice applies to storytelling.

season 1 of stranger things is so simple.  there is One Monster.  that is the danger.  and somehow, that single monster manages to be a thousand times more terrifying than all of these new "bigger, scarier, more epic" threats crammed into the second two seasons.

how goofy is the stranger things season 3 plot, seriously?  russians are blackmailing a small-town mayor so they can buy up land to steal power from the town while operating a secret lab under the mall to open a gate to the Upside Down (WHY?), while simultaneously a remnant of the malevolent force that was "defeated" last season has reanimated itself and is making people scarf chemicals (WHY?), and then it possesses one of them and uses that person to possess a bunch of other people in order to build itself a body made out of melted people, in order to kill el, whose only story this season is breaking up with her boyfriend, and we have to infiltrate this russian base in order to close the gate (same endgame as last season - BIG NO-NO) to kill the goo monster, except last time the "mindflayer” survived the gate being closed, so why would this even WORK, and -

the fact that there are so many "round-up/info dump" scenes where characters summarize what's going on and make implausibly accurate connections/guesses about what it all must mean is a red flag.  the characters shouldn’t have to tell your story to the audience.  if it's too complicated for us to keep straight on our own, it's too complicated.  

the amount of energy that goes into trying to lash together a Chaos Plot with too many shaky legs leaves nothing left over for nuanced character development or mood establishment.  you're constantly running to catch up to your own flimsy story before it collapses on top of itself.

2. the horror!

S1 of stranger things was the scariest thing i'd ever seen.

granted, i don't watch a lot of horror, because i don't like it.  i get scared too easily and then i legitimately can't sleep.  i watched a horror movie five years ago that i still think about every time the lights are off in my house.  but still, ST1 was something i had never experienced before.

it wasn't creature horror, and it wasn't just suspense.  it was the UNSETTLINGNESS of it all.  it wasn't really about the monster.  it was about the Upside Down.

the reason ST1 is so successful is because of how much we don’t know.  it's the horror of not understanding what is happening, and the terror of knowing that nobody thinks it’s real.  feeling like you're going crazy and being cut off from all assistance.  the conspiracy and the cover-up.  and the sheer unsettlingness of the whole parallel worlds things just tipped me over the edge - the idea that you can take one wrong step and then be suddenly and without warning completely off the map, simultaneously right next to the people you want to get to and also utterly beyond their reach.  that was fucking scary!!!!  

and they do it all with so little.  i have literally never been more scared in my life than when i would see those christmas lights start flickering.  and they're just LIGHTS!  yes, we see the monster later, but it's the uncertainty that's most frightening.  we don't understand how it arrives in our world, and we don’t know where it will show up next.  it could be right next to you - on the other side.  you could be standing on top of it.  you just don't know.  it’s like what jonathan says to nancy in her bedroom - “it can’t get us in here.”  and she says, “we don’t know that.”

the later seasons of stranger things, by comparison, did not scare me at all.  season two was like a zombie movie - hordes of weak enemies that you can just shoot with a gun.  and season 3 was even less frightening - upping the ante and making things gorier, more explosive, and bigger just isn't the vibe they set in S1.  i'm not scared of that giant goop monster.  it's like godzilla.  it's not horror; it's just a lot of noise.

the unsettling, "creep" factor that made season 1 so effective was gone.  it just turned into a regular old monster movie, and i didn't find that particularly interesting.

3. illogical, captain

a while ago there was a wave of pushback against people complaining about plot holes, but you know what?  there is, in fact, an appropriate place for us to talk about plausibility, as well as the point at which our suspension of disbelief collapses.

ST3 is a bona fide plausibility disaster.  i did not believe half of the story, because it was not unfolding in a believable way.

half of the plot points in this season would not have happened if the characters had been behaving with any kind of sense.  it is absolutely impossible for me to believe that none of these children IMMEDIATELY went to joyce or hopper the minute they knew something weird was going on.  it makes no sense.  after the shit they've seen?  it makes sense in season 1, because the kids are still so young that they have that kind of magical thinking that makes all of this seem kind of like an adventure.  but they're teenagers now, and developmentally, they’re past that stage.  they know the evil creature is back and they're pretty sure it's possessing billy?  for some unfathomable reason, they don't go to an adult, but try to trap billy in the sauna and just see what happens.  the other group has actual proof that russian soldiers are up to something shady in the mall?  they don't tell an adult; they send a TEN YEAR-OLD in through the AIR DUCTS to investigate the secret room guarded by MEN WITH GUNS.

this is ridiculous.  none of this should have happened.  none of this WOULD have happened.  it breaks the boundaries of disbelief.  it completely sabotages the audience’s engagement with the story - joyce and hopper's whole detour with alexei and murray is so dull, because its entire purpose is to bring hop and joyce up to speed on something that we, the audience, already know.  the other characters already found out this stuff, but did not communicate it - the gate is being opened again in a russian lab underground.  there's no suspense for us.  nothing new is revealed.  we're just waiting for them to hurry up and finish finding out so we can move on to the next thing.

moreover: there are so many other problems besides just "these characters would have talked to each other."  why on earth would murray, whose sole characteristic is extreme paranoia, take alexei wandering around the festival for hot dogs and carnival games.  why would hopper be so virulently against the possibility that weird shit might be happening again?  does he remember the past year or what?  how on earth would the kids be able to fight off that massive monster with an ax and a hunting rifle?  it's made out of dead guts and bones; why does it care if they shoot it?!  how in the WORLD is this russian facility so penetrable?  i'm sorry, it's just - beyond believable.  it doesn't have cameras?  the russians guards really can't tell that murray isn't a native speaker?  they don't check his id when they don't recognize him?  joyce and hopper really just got that lucky, to be asked a question and have “smile and nod” be the right answer?  nobody ever got shot?  it's silly.  it's just silly.  so many things - erica uses the "Open" button to open the elevator door in order to let steve and robin and dustin inside, but once the elevator is at the bottom of the shaft, robin explains the door's inexplicable non-opening because......you apparently need a keycard to use the buttons????  THAT MAKES NO SENSE; ERICA JUST USED THE BUTTONS A SECOND AGO.

even the entire endgame of this season is a contradiction!  if the mind-flayer survived el closing the gate last time, it doesn't make sense that closing the gate this time would kill it.  literally the entire plot of last season was "we need to get this thing out of will, because the creature will die once the gate is closed, and we want to make sure will doesn't die with it."  but apparently the creature didn't die upon closing the gate; it just got trapped in our dimension.  but now apparently it WILL die upon closing the gate.  for whatever fucking reason.

i'm sorry, but that’s a mess.  that’s a bona fide mess.

4. watch your tone

i honestly think the tonal change is the thing that made me the most frustrated about this season.  it's possible to have a terrible plot and still stay relatively true to your characters - you'll still have a bad season, but at least you didn't bastardize your characters in the process.

i had issues with S2 and i definitely was not as impressed with it as i was with S1, but at least in S2 joyce and hopper were recognizable.  in S3, i felt like i was watching strangers.  the tonal shift was bizarre and off-putting, more so with hopper than joyce, but it affected both of them.  

even as early as the very beginning of this season, i was feeling weird about how often hopper was being used for comedy.  and as the season progressed, this trend only became more pronounced.  almost every scene we had of him felt silly - and not like there was just something funny in the scene for me to laugh at, but like the audience was almost being asked to laugh AT him.  like he was constantly the butt of the joke.  

this really bothered me.  from that incredibly sincere and heart-wrenching portrayal of him in season 1, when they kept him rooted in the trauma of losing his daughter and the breakdown of his marriage, and then how that same trauma made him so driven to save will and protect the kids - what a change.  even in season 2 i was frustrated how the throughline of his daughter wasn’t touched again until the very last episode, and now in season 3 we’ve left that part of him so far behind that he's just there for us to laugh at.  we're supposed to laugh at scenes of him being drunk and a mess.  every scene he's in is either him arguing with joyce for comedic relief or being way over the top with alexei or the mayor.  he was like a caricature of himself, and i didn't recognize him.  

joyce suffered from the same thing, just by virtue of proximity.  she spent almost all of her time in this season with hopper, and virtually all of that time was taken up with silly shenanigans or comically overblown arguing.  what a departure from the desperate mother of season 1, who was maligned by everyone in town and only taken seriously by the audience.  now it’s the audience who are supposed to be chuckling at her.  

i dunno.  the tone shift was very dramatic, very obvious, and it impacted the entire season.  are we supposed to be taking this seriously or is it supposed to be a joke?  a little bit of humor to break tension can be a good thing, but when it's constant, it confuses the mood.  

and i personally don't think it was appropriate or respectful to either of these characters, in this case.

SMALLER THINGS THAT BOTHERED ME:

this show has 100% hit maximum character saturation.  by the end of this season there were 13 core characters onscreen at the same time, in the same scene!  it’s too many people!  they cannot reasonably develop that many people in the space allotted.

i still am not interested in max.  i don't feel anything for her.  she doesn't feel real.  i don't hate her, but she's just an empty vessel, and i really do think she's superfluous to this show.  i think you could remove her with very little reworking and the show would be stronger for it.  (they TRIED to do something interesting with billy, and i might have cared if we had been given literally any reason to care about him previously, but there was no investment earned there.  they didn't do the front-end work to make him somebody we were interested in.)

weird relationship sunderings from previous seasons.  i felt very strange about jonathan barely even seeing will this entire season.  i felt very strange about steve having almost zero contact with nancy.  i felt very strange about joyce hardly ever interacting with her kids.  all of these were core relationships - the characters were BUILT on those relationships, and they don't feel real outside of them.  not seeing these characters devote time to these relationships makes it feel like i'm watching a slightly different show.

the VIOLENCE.  apparently this is a beat-em-up now???  i really felt like every other scene somebody was getting beaten to a bloody pulp.  there was SO much smashing and bashing and throwing people into walls and fistfights and head trauma like - first of all, i find that stuff pretty boring, and second of all, all of these people should be in the hospital.  

the GORE.  other people’s mileage may vary, obviously; i just didn't like that.  i looked away at the scene with the rat, and all this...goopy dissolving human shit, and the stabbings, and just...general grossness level - season 1 managed to be bloodcurdlingly terrifying without any of this stuff.

i know this borders on nitpicky, but yet more medical malfeasance - another example of someone receiving an injection via the mysterious 90 degree angle neck route, plus - was anyone else losing it at the fact that steve and robin “puked up” a drug they received……..via injection??????  IT’S NOT IN THEIR STOMACHS, FOLKS!  THEY CAN’T PUKE IT UP!  IT DOESN’T WORK LIKE THAT!

the complete lack of follow-up to last season.  the whole S3 plotline (such as it is) feels like a weird side quest.  last season seemed to be furthering the mythos and setting us up for "there are other children like el/brenner is alive" - but this season, that fact appears to have been forgotten by everyone (even el!!!) and has nothing to do with the story that we're given, which is a goofy and redundant story about russians opening a secret lab under the mall which requires us to solve the exact same problem as last season (closing the gate).

this show's inability to keep certain throughlines in its headlights/keep things visible on the periphery instead of dropping them completely and then bringing them back whenever they feel like they need it again.   i already talked about hopper’s daughter as an example of this (done well in S1 and poorly in S2 and S3).  another example is that scene with nancy and her mom - it’s such a good scene, and yet it misses out on so much resonance, because they completely dropped the plotline of karen feeling locked out of her kids’ lives and desperately wanting to connect with them.  if they had continued to reference that throughout season 2, then this scene would have been so much more powerful.   as a third example, season 3 starts with a clear context/premise, and it’s INTERESTING - the town landscape changing because of the mall, business slow to non-existent, small town discontent over big corporations moving in, hopper pressured to break up the protest against mayor kline when he should have let it proceed - and then the show just drops that entire context.  you expect season 3 to stay rooted in the "our small town is being strangled by this mall" and then to eventually deal with the revitalization of hawkins, but nah.  it's never mentioned again.

LASTLY:

i'm not really gonna get into hopper "dying," because he's, like...clearly not dead.  but the whole situation was stupid and contrived (i was so sick of that arnold schwarzenegger lookalike by the last episode, god that whole thing was so dumb) and it's even cheaper knowing that he'll obviously be back.

what i AM gonna say is that i was livid that they brought back that peter gabriel cover of "heroes" to end this season.  their use of that song in S1 blew my mind - it had me stunned with how GORGEOUS it was and just, the way it worked in that particular scene - absolutely incredible.  floored me.  gave me chills.  to recycle it at the end of such a poorly constructed season made me so mad.  yOU CAN'T MAKE ME FEEL THINGS JUST BY REUSING THIS SONG.  I REFUSE TO HAVE EMOTIONS JUST BECAUSE YOU PULL OUT THIS BEAUTIFUL TRACK THAT YOU ONCE USED TO GREAT EFFECT; YOUR STORY WAS STILL TERRIBLE THIS TIME AROUND; DO NOT TRY TO TRICK FEELINGS OUT OF US THAT HAVEN’T BEEN EARNED.  

and that's it.  i’m sure later i’ll think of other things i neglected to mention here, but...yeah.  i was not impressed.  

[miserelysia]

“I Watched the Artemis Fowl Movie and It Made Me Very Upset” Liveblog!

So I decided I had to subject myself to this movie despite being Extremely Aware that it’s a massive pile of firey garbage. It was about as painful as expected, so I liveblogged to keep my sanity. Here’s basically what happened in my head while I was watching:

Josh Diggums: I feel so bad for Josh Gad's voice because it's painfully obvious they just didn't want Olaf showing up so they forced him into some terrible Bale-Batman voice that keeps cracking

why is this movie taking itself so seriously

Book Artemis: eternally unathletic dweeb

Movie Artemis: SURFING MASTER

the fuck, Branagh

THIS VOICE IS SO DAMN BAD, JOSH PLEASE STOP TALKING

okay Artemis is appropriately a little shit for EXACTLY ONE SCENE

FUCK OFF WITH FRIDGING THE MOM, BRANAGH

"ur mom's dead and ur dad's gone so ur a little shit" WHAT A GREAT COUNSELOR

fuck's sake

Book Artemis: immediately falls off whatever this hover thing is

COLIN FARRELL. SEXY MAN.

I ALMOST FORGIVE THEM FOR BRINGING HIM BACK EARLY

AND..... KNOWING ABOUT MAGIC

SDJFKSDF

WHATEVER

I WAS PREPARED FOR THIS

this voice is still terrible, Josh. I'm sorry

this kid is a pretty good actor

"all i really want is to believe in you" that was actually well-delivered

"Arty"

<sobbing>

OKAY IT'S NOT ACCORDING TO THE BOOK BUT FUCK ME THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS WELL DONE

i desperately need Butler to show up soon tho

I SPOKE TOO SOON

"DOMOVOI" ??!!?? YOU FUCKS

why

are his eyes

fucking ELECTRIC BLUE

HIS LITERAL FUKDFSUCING NAME IN THE BOOKS IS 'BUTLER' IT'S PART OF BEING AN INSANELY GOOD SECRET AGENT GUARDIAN HE'S NOT AN ACTUFL FUCKING BUTLER AND LITERALLY NO ONE EVER CALLS HIM "THE BUTLER" BUT HIS NAME IS BUTLER BECAUSE HIS REAL NAME IS SECRET HE'S FUCKING SECURITY FUCKING DID YOU READ THIS FUCKING BOOK SERIES AT ALL BRANAGH OR DID YOU JUSTDSJFKLDSHFSD:LFSEFAGH

i'm sorry

Butler is my absolute favorite character of the entire damn series and they fucking

can't even get OOOONNNNNEEEEEEEEE CHARACTER CORRECT

SCREAMS

did they think calling him "Butler" would be weird because they cast a black guy?????

AGAIN WHY WITH THE FUCKING ELECTRIC BLUE CONTACTS THEY'RE SO OBVIOUSLY FAKE IT LOOKS SO BAD. IF YOU MAKE THE DECISION TO CAST AN AFRICAN AMERICAN MAN JUST FUCKING OWN THAT HE HAS DARK EYES DON'T DO THIS

THE "OWL STAR"???? REALLY???? WHY NOT FOWL STAR

WHY

NOT

IT'S JUST SUCH AN ARBITRARY DUMBASS CHANGE IT MAKES NO SENSE

PLEASE DID I JUST MISUNDERSTAND THE REPORTER MAN

DID THE CAPTIONS JUST MISUNDERSTAND HIM?????

NOPE IT'S LITERALLY THE  O W L  S T A R

fuck off

i'm sorry

stuff like that just bothers me a lot

it makes ABSOLUTELY no sense to change it

Fowl Star made sense bECAUSE IT'S OWNED BY ARTEMIS FOWL

artemis has a lot more emotions than i remember him having

i will not forgive them for destroying the Butler/Artemis relationship in favor of a Dad they fucking fridge in the first half hour of the movie

oh boy nursery rhymes as codes

GROUNDBREAKING

i think the fairies would have something to say about you hiding their own shit from them, MISTER SENIOR

it's still a bad voice, Josh, I'm so sorry

okay Haven is pretty nice

"Haven" not "Haven City"

pretty sure

holly being a 13 year old girl is disconcerting

that was mentioned in a review

they're supposed to be Child-Sized not ACTUAL CHILDREN

also "small person = higher pitched voice" is such a stupid trope please stop

i like the Being diversity around the city

like lots of different types of humanoids

josh desperately wants to do the Olaf voice

i'm so sorry Josh

okay aside from the shit voice Diggums is pretty good

lol Cudgeon's already in jail

i

okay then

i know this is Opal Koboi

meh

i hate her in the books so they can fuck her up all they want

judi dench is batman too i guess

how many cigs you smoke judi root

OH BOY HOLLY HAS MISSING DADDY ISSUES TOO

fucking shit

"you're 84" and you look like a fUCKING THIRTEEN YEAR OLD

such bad choices

every time they say "Domovoi" i--

HISDFHSDHFH

JULIET

SHE'S

HIS

FUCKING

NIECE?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????

SDFJLS:DKF FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKK YYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

FUCK YOU

FUCK

FUCK

FUCK YOU KENNETH BRANAGH

NO

NO

NO

NO

SHE'S

HIS

FUCKING

SISTER

HIS BABY SISTER HE LOVES AND CARES FOR EVEN MORE THAN ARTEMIS AND THAT'S A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT RELATIONSHIP THAN UNCLE AND NIECE

HOW COULD YOU LITERALLY DESTROY EVERYTHING ABOUT BUTLER AND STILL SLEEP AT NIGHT

<vomits into the sun>

eoin colfer i hope you made so much money off of this SHITSTACK

(genuinely tho that's literally the only consolation; now he can write more Good Books)

Juliet is cute but i know about all she does is make sandwiches

so fuck this

judi dench is Good

foaly is Okay

why's he wearing clothes tho

the chutes are a lot more... open than expected

BEECHWOOD SHORT THE TRAITOR

FUCK OFF

WHY IS HOLLY’S CHARACTER DEFINED BY HER FUCKING FATHER

THIS IS SO MUCH WORSE AN OUTCOME THAN I EVEN EXPECTED GIVEN THEY EVISCERATED HER CHARACTER'S DRIVE BY MAKING THE L.E.P. ALREADY HAVE FEMALE OFFICERS AND COMMANDERS

"get out cudgeon before i throw you out" okay they got Root completely right at least

aside from making him a her

but that's okay

because it's Judi Dench

awwwww happy flying scene bUT HOLLY YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE SHIELDED GOt DAMN

“any update?” "yes. i'm freezing" amazing, Butler

i mean dOmOvOi

HOLLY YOU'RE STILL NOT SHIELDED

CGI isn't too bad in this but honestly that's not impressive anymore

awwwww cute wedding scene

troll is about as ugly as possible

LOL JUST FUCKING THROW TIME FREEZE UP LIKE IT'S NOTHING

OKAY

LOL HOLLY GO DEAL WITH THE TROLL DON'T FOCUS ON ONE SMALL CHILD

THAT'S NOT HOW A TIME FREEZE WORKS

I

i mean it's COOL

i love the little Men in Green zipping around

but it doesn't make ANY sense

LOL SO WHY DO THE PEOPLE THINK THE PLACE IS TRASHED

lol gently floating troll

Hollyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Judi Root continues to be amazing

ok tbf Opal Koboi would be after the Aculos if it existed

OP MacGuffin plots are so tired tho like really Branagh

i love the wings on her suit

ARTEMIS WHEN DID YOU GET TO THE TREE

holly ur a bad 84-year-old officer

LOL CUDGEON IS RIGHT ON

AND JUDI ROOT CONTINUES TO BE

"Not Happy!" lol wat

who wrote that bit of dialogue and said "yes this a perfectly good thing to have her say when she wakes up in a cage"

"mesmerism"

boy i love these exposition dump convos between Mr. Sr. and Arty

LOL "most human beings are afraid of gluten, how do you think they'd handle goblins" is a great line

out of touch, but still funny

...why does the time freeze take forever to generate now when you did it in TWO SECONDS BEFORE

calm down holly damn

foaly's very pretty

sO DID THEY FREEZE THE *ENTIRE WORLD*????????

I THOUGHT THE POINT WAS TO FREEZE THINGS INSIDE SO YOU HAVE MOONLIGHT LONGER

AND

AND

whatever

i love this fucking ARMY coming out of literally everywhere

"TOP OF THE MORNIN'" OH MY FUCKING GOODNESS

whole movie is worth it

for that line

i love that they're entirely in green

and no one ever Shields

ever

they mentioned Shields once but NO ONE IS SHIELDED

BUTLER WOULD NEVER LET ARTEMIS INTO A FIGHT

SCREAMS

"TAKE THE SHOT"

WHY IS THE TIME FREEZE SO EASILY DESTABILIZED

FOALY

ARE YOU TELLING ME NO ONE HAS EVER SHOT YOUR FUCKING ENORMOUS DEVICE

omg no U GAVE OPAL KOBOI LEGITIMATE REASONS FOR DOING WHAT SHE'S DOING

YOU GAVE HER A SAD FRUSTRATING BACKSTORY

SHE'S SUPPOSED TO BE AN ARROGANT SELF-SERVING BITCH AND NOTHING ELSE

TWENTY SEVEN MINUTES??????

hOW DID ARTEMIS KNOW ABOUT MULCH DIGGUMS SPECIFICALLY

lol that is 100% a completely inhumane prison what the fuck, fairies

why does Holly have human music

well i'm glad we didn't have to watch mulch almost eat a dude's head

"My father was kidnapped."

"My father is dead."

"Can I trust you?"

"You'll have to."

BUT WHY

WHAT IS THIS DIALOGUE

WHAT IS THIS CHARACTER PROGRESSION

THERE's NO REASON TO TRUST HER

OR TO NEED TO TRUST HER

THIS IS COMPLETELY UNEARNED AND STUPID

glad holly's entire character REVOLVES AROUND A MAN NOW, BRANAGH

LOL THEY JUST DIDN'T GIVE ROOT A FIRST NAME???

JUDI ROOT CONFIRMED

"listen to us, grunting at each other like a pair of hippos with a throat infection" LMAO

i hope that was Josh Gad improv

LOL HE JUST FUCKING DESTROYS EVERYTHING IN HIS WAY WHILE TUNNELING

YOU DIDN'T EVEN REALLY TUNNEL IN, MULCH

HOW DID YOU COME OUT OF A PAINTING

DO THEY HAVE PAINTINGS IN A BASEMENT???

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE SHEETROCK OR WHATEVER

IT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO EASY TO JUST

UGH

FOLLOW THE BOOK

COME ON

MULCH YOU ARE THE WORST BURGLAR

"what would your parents be" THEY'D BE CENTAURS MULCH

is... is Mulch on the second floor

HE TUNNELED THROUGH THE WALL ONTO THE SECOND FLOOR

artemis... just.. lets holly out

ok cool

LOL HIS NOSE HAIRS GROW AND MOVE LIKE TENTACLES

stupid and... funny? i guess

at least Cudgeon is the piece of shit he is in the book lol

oh boy troll time

BUTER WOULD NEVER LET MULCH DIGGUMS PICKPOCKET HIM

"jam all magic" OMFG THAT'S NOT POSSIBLE

BUTLER WOULD NEVER LET ARTEMIS FACE DOWN A FUCKING TROLL

LOL THEY JUST FIRE THE TROLL LIKE A BULLET

A TROLL-ET

DOMOVOI YOU ARE COMPLETELY USELESS WHAT THE FUCK

i wonder if kids even like this movie

omg butler couldn't even jump

i

i don't understand

he literally DOESN'T HELP AT ALL

IT'S HIS WHOLE THING

IS BEING ABLE TO KICK ASS

FUCKING COME ON BRANAGH

yeah fuck you branagh

are... are the fairies just DYING TO THE TIME FREEZE COLLAPSE???

"goodbye my friend. i'm sorry i was FUCKING USELESS"

branagh you're trying to activate my feelings with this Sad Death Scene(TM) but i am IMPERVIOUS because artemis has had NO RELATIONSHIP WHATSOEVER WITH THIS """DOMOVOI"""

COOL HE'S BACK NOW I’M SO GLAD ACTUAL FULL ON DEATH HAS ZERO CONSEQUENCES NOW THANKS TO OP FAIRY MAGIC

WHAT GREAT WRITING THIS IS

"i didn't cry did i" FUCK OFF

WHY IS IT SO DANGEROUS WHEN THE TIME FREEZE ENDS

WHY IS YOUR TECH SO SHITTY, FOALY

TIME FREEZES AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE DANGEROUS TO THE OCCUPANTS

THAT GOES AGAINST ALL OF FAIRY RULES

...okay and then it just ends..........?

Domovoi: "you have to try!"

Artemis: "i can't, tho"

Domovoi: "it's too dangerous!"

WHAT IS THIS DIALOGUE

WHO WROTE THIS ABSOLUTE DRIVEL

"the aculos for my father"

THE L.E.P. DOESN'T EVEN HAVE YOUR FATHER YOU ABSOLUTE DOOF

holly how do u know how to do this

the... the aculos is just the fucking Book?

i feel slapped in the face

she just recites the words and. and.

whatever

whatever

i'm done

GO FIND YOUR DAD WHO'S MAGICALLY BACK

WHY WOULD HE BE IN THE BED ARTEMIS

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE A GENIUS

this girl who plays Holly cannot act

i'm sorry girl

MAGICALLY BACK DAD

HOORAY HOLLY'S CHARACTER CONTINUES TO BE DEFINED BY HER FATHER

FUCK

YOU

WRITERS

AND BRANAGH

BUTLER WOULD NEVER CRY, DOMOVOI

i like the cool earpiece they gave Judi Root to maybe? disguise her hearing aid?

Haven does look pretty cool

too much water above tho it’s not Atlantis guys come on

"i'm a criminal mastermind" LITERALLY WHEN DID YOU SHOW ANY SORT OF MASTERMIND BEHAVIOR OR CRIMINAL BEHAVIOR

BESIDES BRIEFLY KIDNAPPING HOLLY AND THEN IMMEDIATELY LETTING HER OUT

LMAO THAT LAST SHOT OF JULIET JUST LOOKING EXCITEDLY OUT OF THE WINDOW AT THE HELICOPTER WHILE EVERYONE LEAVES HER BEHIND

WHAT'S THE POINT OF THAT EVEN

THIS POOR GIRL YOU’RE JUST LEAVING HER ALONE

WOW THIS PRISON/INTERROGATION PLACE HAS LIKE

NO SECURITY

HI HOLLY WHY ARE YOU HERE??????

THIS WHOLE ENDING IS JUST THE STUPID CAP ON TOP OF A STUPID SUNDAE

i need to go listen to the books again now

[kenzieam]

The Tutor - Chapter Six

Pairing: AU Bucky X Levi

Rating: M (my usual, lovelies)

Warnings: language, drama, angst, mentions of abuse

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I KNOW I’M MISSING TAGS, PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT IN

**************************************************************************

Levi the jock needs help in high school and her twin brother, Steve, volunteers his newest friend, Bucky. Seemingly just to piss her off, Bucky accepts but soon realizes there’s more to the Levi than she lets the average spectator see.

*************************************************************************

Feedback = Happy writer.... lol

************************************************************************                

A LITTLE MORE SMUT; LOVELY, LOVELY SMUT TO MIX WITH THE ANGST.....

This is the second to last installment, stay tuned for the final chapter of Bucky and Lev as soon as I can get what’s floating around in my head down onto the screen!

************************************************************************

One Year Later

Levi stumbled on an uneven patch of sidewalk, checked herself and cursed her lack of awareness. Today was the last day of her accelerated summer courses, she should be happy!

But she wasn’t, she was hella distracted.

Why? Because in the last few weeks, Bucky had started pulling away from her.

They’d managed for a while; speaking on the phone, Skyping every few days, the twins coming home on all the major breaks but, ever since her first year had ended, and Levi had made the painful choice to cut her summer break short to only two weeks before returning to campus for accelerated courses through the summer, something had changed between them.

Even with their attraction, the latent chemistry that simmered between them, it had taken real work this last year to make it all work.

Tired from classes, weary from studying or, in Bucky’s case, exhausted from all that on top of helping care for his sisters and working a side job, it had sometimes been a herculean effort to pick up the phone, or open the laptop, and put on a brave face for the other, because you were both struggling and neither wanted to add to the other’s misery.

Levi couldn’t help feeling a prickle of jealousy towards her brother, not for the first time since they’d began school almost a year ago. Peggy had been accepted to a school in the same city as the twins and rented a basement suite from a couple who were rarely home, enabling Steve to spend time with his girlfriend whenever he damn well felt like it; and so he hadn’t, and probably never would, experience the isolation and anguish Levi felt on a regular basis. Seeing her brother with his love however, was a balm to her soul in small ways, at least Steve wasn’t suffering like her and Levi, no matter how much Brock had claimed otherwise, was not so selfish and spoiled as to deny her brother that happiness.

Bucky had supported Levi’s most recent choice, the decision to attend accelerated courses, something only a few ultra ambitious students did, because it would cut down the overall time of her education; she’d be graduating and available to slavering head-hunters long before her classmates, although in the hindsight currently clouded by recent events and Levi’s new insecurities, she realized that his support had been stoic and guarded, him saying what was right again, not what he’d wanted. It was a calculated gamble, straining the present situation further for gains in the future, but Bucky had forced a smile over the laptop screen when she’d first brought the topic up and, when they’d finally been standing in front of each other again in those aborted two weeks, pulled her into a embrace, pressed a kiss to her forehead and murmured what had become her mantra, her fuel, this last year.

I’m here with you.

Had it been a mistake? Because for the last two weeks, Bucky had been distracted, distant on the phone, always with some excuse why he couldn’t Skype her, give her the opportunity to heal under the warmth of his smile, those brilliant blue eyes and Levi had finally narrowed down the queasiness in her stomach to concrete words.

He was hiding something from her.

But what?

Her mind raced with possibilities and, despite having been largely successful in silencing his voice since his death, Brock’s words taunted her now.

Spoiled little Princess.

You aren’t worth it.

Bucky had found someone else, that had to be the reason.

Someone without the baggage, without the literal distance separating them. Why slog though unfulfilling Skype calls, the object of your love right there in front of you but untouchable; fuck, Levi might have well been on Mars; when you could touch someone real, hold someone real? Not have to wait until a certain time of the day to talk, to wait with sweating palms and hope the other had the time and energy to answer? Feel your body coil tight because you wanted the other so badly, but knew you would have to rely on your own hand?

Levi’s mind raced, working through her options, she only had a week before fall classes started. Could she find a last-minute flight? One that left tonight or by tomorrow afternoon? If not, or if she needed to drive instead, it would seriously cut into the time she had to see Bucky, to try and work out what was going on between them. She’d barely get there and have to turn around and come back, not to mention the fact that, as soon as she saw Bucky, regardless of the strange distance forming between them, her body would clamor for him, her heart crying to shelter in his arms again. It would be that much harder, nigh impossible, to drag herself away from him and return to classes.

Could she stand to miss the first few days of second year?

Even as that thought swirled through her mind, she dismissed it. She had left to get an education, to branch out and have a life; whatever was going on with her and Bucky right now couldn’t get in the way of the very reason they were in this position to begin with.

I need to get my head on straight. She chided.

Without remembering the walk, Levi looked up and realized she was already home.

Chafing under the undeniable truths of her husband’s temperament, Levi and Steve’s mom had surprised them both by buying a house, not far from the university, and putting both twin’s names on the deed as sole owners. It made sense, she tried to explain, buying rather than renting, but there was a definite ‘fuck you’ in the transaction, directed at the dead man himself; using a chunk of the money he’d held so tightly to help out the twins he’d fought so hard not to aid in any way.

The neighborhood was old and gentrified, the lots large. The whole place reminded Levi of Detroit’s Brush Park, but well-maintained and loved. Their own house was eclectic, tall and deep, the relative narrowness of the house more than made up for by how far back from the street it went. A garage to the side and large backyard were welcome additions, and Levi had a hard time deciding whether she like the shading trees in the back or the giant covered porch out front to relax on more.

Steve emerged from the kitchen as she walked through the front door, a ready grin on his face.

“Hey, Junior. Last day, huh? What’s wrong?” Even if they hadn’t shared a womb and known each other inside and out, Levi’s face was enough to warrant the question.

Levi considered not answering, simply pushing past her well-meaning brother and hiding upstairs, but her lips parted, and the marrow of her heartache fell out.

“Something’s going on with Bucky.”

Steve shifted his weight, clearing his throat. “What do you mean?”

Levi sighed, taking off her new favorite thrift store find, a red flat cap, to run a hand through her hair, it had gotten longer in the last year, certainly no less unruly, and she’d put serious thought into chucking it all in for an extreme pixie cut more than once lately, if not for the desire to feel Bucky’s fingers trail through it again, coil it around his fist as he pushed unbearably slowly into her from behind-

Clearing her throat almost violently, Lev shook off the unwelcome and certainly ill-timed thought of the last time she and Bucky had made love, the last time they’d seen each other before Lev returned for classes and forced her attention back to the conversation with her twin brother.

“He’s,” she sighed, pulling off her light jacket and hanging it on the nearest hook, “distant. Distracted. It’s like he thinks he has better things to do, or he’s hiding something from me. Christ, he hasn’t even answered his phone in the last two days; I’ve tried his house, but his mom says he’s working.”

“C’mon, Lev. Are you sure you’re not just-”?

“Being paranoid? Yeah. I think….” She took a deep, steadying breath, because talking to her brother; her steady, reliable brother, was making all the little nagging thoughts in her mind seem too fucking real. “I think he’s interested in someone else.”

Steve snorted, a loud horse-like sound that would have been humorous under any other circumstances. “Bullshit. I call bullshit. Who?”

Levi chewed her lip. “I don’t know, but why else-”

“Junior, you need to relax.” Steve strode forwards, wrapping his arms around Lev and squeezing her tightly. “You’re thinking too much. Go upstairs and have a shower, I’ll order some pizza, we’ll sit down and watch some movies, just like old times, how does that sound?”

To be honest, it sounded amazing and Levi let herself melt into her brother’s embrace for a few seconds, felt him press a quick peck to the top of her head. Steve took a step back, loosening his arms slightly and gripped her chin gently, tipping her head up to look at him.

“No thinking tonight. We’re just vegging out, okay?”

A wave of pure gratitude washed over Lev and she blinked rapidly to head off tears. “Yeah, that sounds good.”

“Great, now go have a shower, you stink like that model glue you guys use.”

Lev rolled her eyes, slinging her messenger bag back onto her shoulder and mounted the stairs, feeling lighter already. “I want the Donair Special!” She bellowed back down as she climbed.

“Gross.” Steve’s voice drifted up.

“Better than that green pepper abomination you like!”

“Veggie Deluxe!”

“Disgusting!”

“Go have a shower!”

Levi entered her room, still smiling. Minutes later, she stepped into the shower, hair piled in a bun on top of her head and sighed in relief as the hot water streamed down her body. Soon the lively green tea scent of her favorite body wash filled the air and Levi closed her eyes, just feeling herself decompress for a beat. Deciding to go the full nine yards, she lathered and exfoliated every inch of her body before shaving her legs and armpits and, while her hands moved automatically through the motions, she let her mind wander, sorting through her chaotic thoughts, chewing them into manageable pieces.

“I love you.” He whispered, watching her face, a small smile pulling at his lips.

Levi smiled back, reaching over with her free hand to stroke along Bucky’s cheek, watching him close his eyes and relax under her touch. Lying on their sides facing each other, sweat still glistening on their skin from making love, they’d spent the last few minutes just existing, lower bodies tangled together, Bucky’s head resting on his outstretched arm while Levi played lazily with his scattered chest hairs, not speaking until Bucky had said those three little words.

“I love you too.” She replied, feeling the warmth of Bucky’s regard as he opened his eyes to gaze tenderly at her, those hypnotizingly blue eyes roaming over her face as if committing her to memory and he smiled again at her, reassuringly, his own free hand coming up to cradle her face, brush his thumb along her bottom lip.

Levi melted under his touch, letting the peace it brought her chase away the shadows inside. After picking the twins up from the airport and dropping Steve off with Peggy at her house, Bucky had taken Levi back to hers, pulled her up the stairs to her room and down onto her bed, kissing her with a desperation borne of months apart; pushing into her willing body with a ragged groan, both losing themselves all too soon in a shuddering release, only enough to take the edge off, before spending the next hours thoroughly ravaging each other, making love and fucking in turns, until they’d collapsed in a boneless tangled heap, no words needed between them until Bucky had whispered those three magic ones.

He didn’t say anything further, but Levi read it in his eyes. ‘I missed you. I’m so glad to see you. This has been so hard.’ and she let her own confessions reflect back. They didn’t speak about the impending future, the fact that they would have to climb back out of this bubble all too soon and face reality, that Levi was only here for a short time and then she’d be flying away again, back to a world only visible to Bucky through the screen of his laptop. They couldn’t, it hurt too much, cast too dark a cloud on their world.

Bucky rolled suddenly, to hover over Levi. Their lower bodies pressed together, he held his upper body up on his forearms and gazed down at her without speaking. His eyes travelled across her features, the expression on his face so intent and serious that Levi had the sudden thought that he looked like he was either about to break them apart or ask her to marry him.

She ran her hands up his biceps indulgently, humming in approval. In an attempt to distract himself this last year, Bucky had started working out in earnest; and the lanky, puppy dog limbs of before were now muscled and defined. Levi would have loved him, did love him, in any form, but to see his new frame, rivalling Steve’s, was a delicious sight and she’d been treated to an eyeful for hours, watching his powerful back bunch and flex with his thrusts, sitting on his thick thighs while impaled on his cock and embraced by the strength in his arms while he’d buried his face in her throat and groaned through his shuddering climaxes. He’d even let his hair start to grow out, seeming to shed the nice guy image of his past, embracing something a little darker and grittier, as if the solitude and darkness of their imposed isolation from each other had become a physical representation, something he projected outwards to succor the sorrow simmering inside.

His grin, in answer to her humming appreciation, brought a new level of joy to Levi’s heart, fuck, how was it even possible to find new levels of love for this man, to fall even further into him?

His hand reached up and, still without speaking, he traced along her cheek, following his fingertip’s journey with his gaze, an almost heart-breaking tenderness in his eyes, his brow creased in concentration and Levi realized he was memorizing her anew, committing her beneath him like this to memory, absorbing every tiny detail of this moment to help him get through the endless, dark ones later, when his body would ache to feel hers and be denied by distance and circumstances.

Finally, his eyes landed back on hers, having trekked across her whole face, and the grin that had faded to a faint, distracted curve of his sinfully full lips shone on her again.

He pushed into her slowly, watching her as he did, inhaling sharply as Levi sighed in relief to feel him so intimately again, her walls welcoming him with their tight warmth. He started to move his hips, slow and easy, holding her close and staring into her eyes. They didn’t speak, hardly made any sounds save for faint whimpers from Levi and quiet groans from Bucky but the intensity and intimacy between them built like wildfire anyway.

Bucky’s thrusts remained slow, languid and almost sultry but devastating in their precision and power, his spine arching sharply with each one and Levi reached down to feel his perfect ass flexing with his movement then scratched her nails lightly up his straining back to cradle his face. He dropped his head into the crook of her neck with a ragged groan, clutching her to him with renewed strength, their bodies pressed tightly together, hardly moving save for Bucky’s measured thrusts and Levi felt her orgasm rise steadily, building low in her belly.

“Bucky,” she whispered.

“Lev,” he groaned. “God baby, I’m there, I’m right there-”

The wave crashed, white heat scorching her, exploding out and she welcomed it, reveled in its power. She felt Bucky’s face contort with sweet pain against her pulse point; a bone-deep shudder running through him, his controlled thrusts suddenly erratic and then he groaned into her hair; a guttural, raw sound as he pulsed inside her, each jet hot and heavy and amplifying Lev’s own release, an infinity circle of giving and taking; scorching passion-

A shampoo bottle crashed to the floor, startling Lev out of her daze and reasserting reality. Her fingers had begun to probe between her legs and pleasure hovered in the shadows, brought on by her memories but her orgasm remained stubbornly out of reach, petulant and sulkily demanded only Bucky’s touch to complete itself. Levi groaned, body tight, and gave up, quickly finished cleaning herself, then stepped out, wrapping a towel around her body.

Pulling on her favorite yoga capris, Levi snagged a black muscle shirt and a hoody she’d swiped from Bucky on her last break then snatched her phone and earbuds off her desk and crashed noisily downstairs. The quiet of her room was not something she wanted to experience right now, the reminders of Bucky in her treasured messenger bag, the blanket that had once graced his bed that he’d given to her after she’d burrowed into it during a break, musing how it smelled so much like him and now wrapped herself in whenever she was feeling particularly vulnerable and missing him. Right now, everywhere she looked would hold some hint of him, and she wasn’t sure she could stand the reminders.

Steve was nowhere to be seen and Levi wandered into the kitchen, pouring herself a glass of ice water then gazing absently out the window as she leaned on the counter, sipping it.

Hearing a vehicle, she glanced around outside, searching for the prehistoric Civic the usual delivery guy drove, held together more with duct-tape and Bondo than metal, it’s color, where it could still be seen around the rust, sun-faded and dull. She gently teased the pizza guy on the regular about it and he only laughed and tried to flirt with her, offering a ride in his ‘vintage classic’ before winking cheekily at her and roaring away, decaying muffler blatting obnoxiously.

Lev had seen the guy around in a far newer sporty hatchback, so why he insisted on delivering pizzas in this old thing was a mystery, but it added zest.

She saw no familiar rust bucket, and leaned further, craning her neck to the driveway before the glass fell from boneless hands and crashed into the sink. Levi’s feet skidded on the hardwood floor and she almost slammed into the fridge before reaching the front door and throwing it open.

“Bucky?!” She shrieked.

[crispy-ghee]

JC vs Predator: Unwanted Trouble [initial overview]

Notes -- there’s a lot of shit here I’m not sure about bc I haven’t sat and worked on anything in real depth for a bit (very busy w/ other stuff). Stuff I want to add, take away, etc. Who the fuck knows. Also I didn’t talk about the climax or the ending or anything bc I’m a dick and also I don’t know much of what I’m doing with that whoops!

Anyway, Enjoy!

Initial Summary

30-year-old Kuai's life is at its lowest when a food truck turf war ends with him losing both his business and his home. His estranged Great Uncle Chun arrives in time to give him a much-needed reprieve, offering him a room and a job at his Auto Shop. Kuai moves in with him, determined to get his life back together by working hard and keeping out of trouble. He mostly cleans around the shop, while Uncle and his assistant Yifei deal with the cars and the customers. Life seems to be going alright, albeit slow. Though he is having trouble paying off his debts, he has made friends with Yifei, as well as Ken, a childhood friend.

The summer is hot. The elders murmur about not having seen a summer like this in almost two decades. Kuai hears an older woman joking that maybe it means Shishi will come clean out the gangs that have been ravaging the neighborhood the past few years. Curious, Kuai presses, and learns that crime had been increasing in the area for a while, but specific gangs had started to gain more power and become a much bigger problem. They've started collecting protection money, like in the movies. He asks why the police haven't done anything about it, and they laugh him off. The police have never been able to do anything about it. But Shishi might, now. 

Ken tells a confused Kuai that Shishi is one of the local urban legends, a guardian beast that arrives to smite the wicked. It's mostly the elders who believe in him, some claiming to have seen him at some point when they were young. They say he’s been around since before even the elders were kids, and that he’ll come when he’s needed. Kuai is frustrated that the neighborhood seems resigned to waiting for a fairy tale than to do something about the problem, but he had promised to stay out of trouble.

He asks Uncle if he has had any issue with the gangs. Uncle says that there’s been no issue at all, that keeps his nose out of those things. If Kuai knew well enough, he would keep his nose out of those things too.

“I don't go looking for trouble.”

“No, you don't go looking to make trouble. But when you find it, you have a hard time staying out of it. That's still trouble.”

Kuai catches Yifei paying off one of the local gangs behind his Uncle's back. Kuai urges them to leave, leading to an altercation that ends with Kuai fighting a large group off handily, revealing his martial arts expertise. Kuai hopes that it means that they will leave Uncle alone, but Uncle is upset when he discovers what had happened.

“Shishi will take care of it,” he says.

“I'll take care of it.”

“Leave yourself out of it Kuai.”

Ken tells Kuai that everyone around town is talking about how he'd beaten all of those goons, bursting Kuai's bubble and telling him that his actions could mean more trouble instead of reprieve. Maybe he should consider joining one of the gangs, Ken muses. It'd not only be better for his Uncle, but probably better for Kuai too, since he's taking forever to get his life back in order. Kuai tells him that he can't do that. That isn't the right thing to do, and that he'll take care of it if anything happens.

One night Kuai is ganged up on when he's taking that day’s money to the bank. They beat him to an inch of his life, taking his money. As he starts going unconscious he hears a sudden change. Yelling, screaming, slicing--but he can’t move his head to see. Just as his vision is fading he hears steps, sees a figure start to appear out of thin air. He sees a hand reach out, two fingers missing, touching the automotive symbol on his shirt, and then he goes black. 

He wakes up in his room. Yifei tells him that they found him sleeping outside of Uncle's shop. He looked really messed up, they took him upstairs, figured he must’ve gotten mugged last night. News of dead gang members starts sprouting up around town.

People start to think that it's Kuai. Kuai denies this. You're going to get yourself into some real trouble now, Kuai. The autmotive is targeted, graffiti and broken windows. Uncle becomes insistent that Kuai stays indoors. No working. No fighting. Do not let anyone else see you do your kung fu. Kuai is furious.

“Do you still believe Shishi will take care of this?”

“Do you?” Uncle asks him. There is a knowing look. Kuai says nothing.

Kuai hears a commotion downstairs that night. He goes down to see what is happening when he is ambushed. He comes to tied to a chair. Ken stands before him. He's a gang leader. They believe the people killing others around town has been Kuai. Or his Uncle. He denies this. They don’t believe him. Ken takes out a knife, ready to kill him. But before that can happen, Shishi starts to kill them all.

Kuai is astonished. Shishi is fighting all of them, and has saved his life once again. Once he is free of his restraints, Kuai joins in on the fight. Prowess and Power. The guardian watches him curiously as they both take out the men. At the end of the fight, Kuai is attacked by Shishi. 

He is once more about to be killed, when suddenly a ghostly calling draws Shishi away. 

Kuai awakes in Uncle's basement room. Uncle is sitting there silent, angry. He sighs

“Well. You've found trouble again, Kuai.”

Points of consideration/ideas:

Kuai and Shishi paralleling each other, but with opposite motivations? Light and Dark. 

Yifei needs to basically be Sammo Hung

Kuai should be an ice cream man

A family connection/past w/ Shishi?

Kuai's Uncle having fought Shishi before?

Kuai’s Uncle took Shishi’s fingers?

Kuai's Grandma and Shishi did a fuck in the past lol

Kuai is the real guardian here