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tj-dragonblade · 1 year ago

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Shipper Tag Game

Tagged by the delightful @seiya-starsniper @zzoomacroom and @carnelianmeluha, thank you!

What ship were you completely obsessed with as a teenager, but now you don’t care about anymore? I...hm. Am I willing to publicly admit to the self-insert daydreaming I did as a teen, long before my days in internet fandom? Okay I guess I kind of just did but I refuse to elaborate. I have long since moved on and I ship him with an in-universe partner at this point.

Which ship would you consider your first one? You ask a lot of my poor aging memory. I'm gonna say...before internet-accessible fandom? I was very keen on Rogue and Gambit in high school, when the 90s XMen animated series was one of my primary interests. After acquiring internet access and discovering communal fandom? 2x5, Gundam Wing. Duo and Wufei.

Your first fanfic was about which couple? Duo and Wufei

Do you remember the first couple you saw fan art of? It was probably Heero x Duo since that was the big popular ship in GW

Have you ever gotten into ship discourse? I don't think so. I am not exempt from having spoken ill of ships over the years but it's been about my opinion, not some kind of value/morality judgement and I have never gotten into fights with anyone

Did you used to have a NOTP or have one currently? There is one ship that I will class as a NOTP and it only became that after it went unexpectedly canon. I'm still willing to incorporate their canon kid into things and I have no interest in demonizing her, but I absolutely Do Not Want to see/read/hear about them having a genuine romantic attachment because the canonization pissed me off so bad. It's SaiIno from Naruto, for the curious.

Who were the last couple in the last fanfic you read? Dreamling

Currently, do you have any OTPs? Depends on your definition of OTP I suppose. To me it means 'favorite couple' more than 'can't stomach seeing them with anyone else'. Currently that's Dreamling. Currently I'm not really interested in reading about either of them with anyone else but historically as I spend longer in a fandom my tastes grow more willing to branch out, so who knows what the future holds. And I still have OTPs from each fandom I've been in (some of which predate the common use of the term 'OTP') even if they're no longer my reading/writing focus.

Is there any couple that, to this day, you are extremely mad about not getting into? Not...really? Not mad about? This is such a weird question, if I was truly taken with a ship I would have explored it? Are we asking if I'm mad about getting into a ship after the fandom has passed its peak of popularity maybe? IDK? I mean, there are occasionally characters from properties that are in formats that I don't tend to invest my time in (Podcasts, video games, long-ass long-running animes that I did not get in on the ground floor with) that catch my interest, and then I have next to no canon framework for exploring my interest, but it's not a thing I'd ever get mad about. If I really want to know more about Gale and his potential matches I'll find somewhere to read BG3 lore, y'know?

Is there any ship you used to dislike but now you think they’re kind of interesting? Mmmmmno. But I do have more than one that's gone the other way.

Do you have any ship that, in the past, would have been considered normal but now you would be cancelled over? Mmmyep. I remain unapologetic about it; that is my ship, tirelessly built with my own two hands and almost nothing predating me to influence interpretation, lovingly crafted exactly as I see it and convincingly enough to interest a handful of other folks. Thankfully none of the people leaving occasional kudos on those fics these days are raising a stink about the 'problematic' elements.

What is your favourite crack ship? Lord of the Lost's Judas album gave me serious serious Jesus/Judas vibes, but that's not really crack so much as quote-unquote blasphemy. I am going to steal Seiya's answer of Tony the Tiger x The Grinch, because I am hard-pressed to think of anything else that would qualify.

What is the couple you read the most fanfics about? Currently? Dreamling. I tend to hyper-focus on one fandom at a time and when I'm lucky enough to ship the popular pairing, there is Far Too Much to spend my limited free time on and little reason to invest any of it elsewhere.

What do most of your ships have in common? I think the broadest way to sum up the widest swathe of similarities is that I generally enjoy a dynamic of Reserved x Exuberant, or to pull back a little further still, of Complementary Opposites.

What do you absolutely hate in a ship? Hate very rarely enters into it. Lack of chemistry, I guess? But that is a very subjective criterion. For every 'But why would you ship them?' I can ask, someone will have an answer.

Tagging, no obligation, tag me in your existing post if you've just done it: @danikatze, @zalia, @esperata, @staroftheendless, @rooftopwreck, @aquilathefighter, @chaosheadspace, @ginoeh, @macavitykitsune

#tagmemes

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danniluisee · 2 years ago

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~just passing through~

~.*Sakuatsu Fic Masterlist *.~

[for my personal use to keep track and close tabs from my browser. But, feel free to read them as well ( ^ω^ ) Contains my fave lines or quotes from the fic, will update regularly hehe ★〜]

Legend:

♡彡 ~ Timeless Personal Favorite

★彡 ~ Favorite

★彡 play me like a movie (that you’ve never seen) by lunarins (G, 13.2k, 1 ch, entertainment industry au)

Blurb: It’s not that Atsumu doesn’t get along with Sakusa Kiyoomi. Miya Atsumu is someone who gets along with everyone. He’s an idol, after all. They just…well, they just don’t really get along.

Fave Quote: “Sakusa Kiyoomi and I are very good friends,,

Personal Note: Okie, paying homage to the first Sakuatsu fic I have read. Cut to me not knowing how to navigate AO3 that much and just looking up the haikyuu tag and coming across this fic *wheeze*. It was really cute and I was hooked, led me to the rest of these fics and I’m never looking back. Really cute, fluff and all (*´꒳`*).

♡彡 Four Vlogs and a Wedding by lettersinpetals (T, 15.6k, 4 ch, canon, pt 3 of this love isn’t crazy series)

Blurb: Sakusa and Atsumu go road tripping in California. What could go wrong?

Fave Quote: (Atsumu, ch 2) “When I say I cried, I mean I f*cking cried. And then...I fell to my knees and practically begged him to marry me,, (Kiyoomi, ch 3) “To those who are inevitably going to ask, ‘Have you gone insane? Were you two drunk?’ I want you to know that I made this decision with eyes wide open,,

Personal Note: Alright this fic— I advise that you read the series in order to get the full effect. This is pt 3 out of 4 in the series [link with title]— this fic has and still remains my favorite Sakuatsu fic I have read, ever. When I think of them, I think of this. I have cried reading almost every chapter. No regrets (*´∀｀*). CHAPTER 3, GUYS CHAPTER 3, I swear I cried the most there. The writer, lettersinpetals, if u have tumblr pls I want to send u my regards <33, you have every right when being that good AAAA kudos kudos!! PLS, I WANT WHAT THEY HAVE >_< Though shorter, this barred a little bit higher than my other timeless fave “ATSU101: how to fall in love with your fake boyfriend”. For the quote, I couldn’t pick just one. But, the ones above really just sunk to me. Luv luv luv this fic, could and would read it anytime, how many number of times, and it wouldn’t get old. Pls send it and the author some love (*^ω^*).

♡彡 ATSU101: how to fall in love with your fake boyfriend by solyn (M, 110.6k, 11 ch, university au)

Blurb: Atsumu needs a fake date. Sakusa needs a fake boyfriend. What could possibly go wrong?

Fave Quote: “Kyoomi, d’ya trust me?,, “Yes,,

Personal Note: This fic *clap* I just can’t— omg. Though it is a (very) slow burn, it was very enjoyable to read. It was really hard choosing my fave quote cause there are a LOT. But, I think what I have chosen encapsulated the fic as a whole (to me). Definite must read!

The Story of Us by thesweetestners (M, 98.2k, 11 ch, canon)

Blurb: Atsumu has spent the last year falling in love with Sakusa Kiyoomi, but it's a secret they've never told anybody else. When a car accident snatches Omi's memories from the past two years away, Atsumu is left as the only one in the world who ever knew their relationship existed.

Fave Quote: “Ya remember my team motto, right? I don’t need the memories,,

Personal Note: I AM DECEASED. I— i cried a lot. It actually took me a while to get to this for fear of the plot, like the blurb sounds so good but idk there was a fear of me reading it. Actually, as i look back, its probably the angst tag that scared me HAHAAHHA but im so glad i did read it. Would recommend if you want to cry. Especially the last 2 chapters \(//∇//)\

The MSBY Black Jackals Read Thirst Tweets by isaksara (syailendra) (M, 11.4k, 2 ch, canon)

Blurb: In which Atsumu realizes that he is attracted to Sakusa Kiyoomi in the most inconvenient way possible.

Fave Quote: “What is wrong with people,,

★彡 The MSBY Black Jackals Take a Lie Detector Test by sifuhotman (T, 12.4k, 1 ch, canon)

Blurb: The MSBY Black Jackals test their friendship as they probe deep into each others' personal lives.

Unfortunately for Sakusa, that means confessing to a number of accusations: who he thinks is currently the best V. League player, if he thinks he'll make the Olympic Volleyball team, and whether or not he has feelings for Miya Atsumu.

Fave Quote: “It’s you, it’s always been you,,

every action has an equal and opposite reaction by akanemnida (T, 10.4k, 1 ch, canon)

Blurb: Miya Atsumu gets a modeling contract with Calvin Klein, which sets Kiyoomi's heart in motion.

Fave Quote: “But why is it that I don’t give more than two f*cks about your advertisements, or the fact that you give me the best tosses, or that you’ve perfected three serves, but I can’t stop thinking of the day you gave me onigiri?,,

Take Me Home by thesweetestnerd (T, 4.1k, 1 ch, canon)

Blurb: Atsumu and Kiyoomi decide to keep their relationship a secret from the team, but when Kiyoomi gets drunk, he might blow their whole cover.

Fave Quote: “Don’t answer that, Omi,, “Yes,, “Ah, damn it,,

Clipped to You by littleboat (T, 8.1k, 1 ch, canon)

Blurb: Sakusa starts wearing hair clips and Atsumu is more than a little obsessed

Fave Quote: “Can I put one in your hair?,,

all my life, been wanting this forever by comfortcharacters (T, 1.0k, 1 ch, canon)

Blurb: Nothing seemed to be out of place. Except, of course, for the small fact of Atsumu facing his own personal hell come to life, taking the form of one Sakusa Kiyoomi perched happily in his lap.

Fave Quote: “Atsumu, does it look like I care?,,

Call Me Maybe by kitkatwrites (T, 1.8k, 1 ch, ER visit au)

Blurb: “What caused your nosebleed?” Dr. Sakusa asks, typing something into a computer next to him.

“M’ brother smacked me in the face with a Wii controller,” Atsumu tells him. “We were playing Just Dance 4,” he adds.

Dr. Sakusa raises an eyebrow. “What song?” He asks, and suddenly Atsumu feels very awkward.

“Call Me Maybe,” he mumbles.

Fave Quote: “Call me maybe,, “No thank you,,

The Wisdom Tooth Incident™ by allinadayofiwaoi (G, 4.8k, 1 ch, canon)

Blurb: “I dun think ma boyfriend will ‘preciate ya touchin’ me like that,” he whispered, dead-serious. “ ‘m not a cheater.”

Fave Quote: “And you call me Omi,, “Omi! Thank ya omi. Omi-Omi-Omi-Omi,,

have my heart, my love by samugiiri (1.7k, 1 ch, canon songfic)

Blurb: “Mm, Omi?” The setter’s voice is muffled by the spiker’s shirt as the former buries his head into the latter’s chest. Kiyoomi gives a soft hum in reply and Atsumu continues speaking.

“This song reminds me of us.”

“How so?”

“Listen ta the lyrics, Omi!”

Fave Line: “I love you because you have those Polaroids of me inside your nightstand,,

★彡 Last One to Midnight Loses! by evelynwrites (T, 14.9k, 2 ch, canon)

Blurb: The year may be new, but this love story was many in the making. Miya Atsumu vs His New Year's Resolutions: Speedrun Edition

Fave Quote: “What would you want to have if it didn’t cost you a damn thing?,, (wait,,, i ask myself the same thing (＞人＜;) )

tooru talks by floatyyourself (T, 5.5k, 1 ch, alternate profession au)

Blurb: Sakusa Kiyoomi, best-selling author of the Memento Mori series, has been confirmed to be making an appearance on late-night show Tooru Talks, staring Oikawa Tooru. The news has been confirmed by Sakusa's agency Itachiyama, who had just recently released a schedule of the author's promotional schedule.

According to Oikawa, Sakusa will also be joined by another guest but the identity of the guest will remain a secret. "The guest is someone we're all big fans of," the talk show host reveals. "But that's all I'm going to be saying about the topic because I don't want to spoil the fun."

Tooru Talks airs live nightly every weekend.

Fave Quote: “Who would want to listen to love songs over and over?,, “You talk a lot for someone who just published a romance story for the twentieth time,,

Champagne Problems by TwilaFrost (T, 3.0k, 1 ch, canon)

Blurb: Atsumu struggles with depression and how it affects his self-worth in the eyes of others, especially his boyfriend who he thinks deserves so much more.

Fave Quote: “Share your burdens with me, I’ll take them. I’ll hold them all,, (pls get me someone like sakusa kiyoomi T^T)

Yours if You Want It by keenbean (G, 2.4k, 1 ch, canon)

Blurb: Sakusa asks Atsumu out. Naturally, Atsumu panics.

Fave Quote: “Then tell me. What do you want?,, “You,,

One Time Thing by awkwardedgeworth (G, 1.6k, 1 ch, canon)

Blurb: "Hey. Is your face okay?" Atsumu leans back slightly, brows pulled together in concern, "You look like you're emotionally constipated."

"Shut up."

Then Sakusa leans forward, closes his eyes and presses his lips against something cool.

Fave Quote: “Remember, Omi? Just like old times,, “Idiot,,

atsumu and his love for kisses by sakusakym (T, 1.5k, 1 ch, canon)

Blurb: “Absolutely insufferable. But, you’re also absolutely beautiful, Miya.”

Fave Quote: “Have I told you how much I love you, Omi-kun?,, “You have, multiple times.,, “I know,,

you stole my heart (with just one look) by yearningbi (T, 2.3k, 1 ch, canon)

Blurb: Kiyoomi proposes, accidentally. Title from 'stole my heart' by one direction

Fave Quote: “Good, because I have a no-return policy,, “I wouldn't give you up for anything in the whole world,,

penny for your thoughts (dollar for your smile) by blulights (T, 3.3k, 1 ch, canon)

Blurb: Their nightly outings have taught Atsumu three things. 1. Bokuto Koutarou has a liver of steel and trying to outdrink him will result in alcohol poisoning (see subject no. 1, Hinata Shoyo, for proof). 2. Meian Shugo is a highly coordinated volleyball player but can’t get his head out of his ass long enough to actually land a shot in pool. 3. Sakusa Kiyoomi is a happy drunk.

Or: Atsumu learns that Sakusa has dimples

Fave Quote: “Thank you Bokkun for sendin’ me into the early stages of liver failure.” ( it’s not sappy, but this one is just hilarious XD )

Curiousity killed the Jackal by yamaguchis_ahoge (T, 2.6k, 1 ch, canon)

Blurb: “Oh sh*t.” Atsumu exclaims, panicked look on his face. Bokuto cocks his head to the side,

“What?” Atsumu pulls at the ring on his finger, it doesn’t budge.

“I can’t take it off!” He whispers, though there’s no one to reprimand them. Hinata’s eyes widen,

“Take it off.” He says, unhelpfully. Atsumu scowls,

“I can’t! I just told ya! It’s stuck.” He whines.

Fave Quote: “Marry me?,, “Yeah, I think I will,,

hands that heal by n33ks (G, 1.5k, 1 ch, canon)

Blurb: Sakusa somehow sprains his wrist during practice. Atsumu is the first to notice something is wrong and offers to help.

Fave Line: “And dimples. He has dimples,,

Your b*stard by TroglodyteMonologue (T, 6.9k, 1 ch, canon)

Blurb: Atsumu has asked Sakusa Kiyoomi to marry him three times. The fourth time, Kiyoomi beats him to the punch.

Fave Quote: “You’re not the only one scared of being vulnerable,,

Read the Receipt by hhhhhhhappycow (G, 6.6k, 1 ch, canon)

Blurb: “I think we’re done here, thank you, Osamu. If we could just have the bill?”

As though waiting for those words, Osamu removed a small square of paper from his pocket.

And leaned over to slam the paper down on the table in front of Sakusa. “You’re paying tonight.”

“What?”, Atsumu squawked, his eyebrows traveling further up his forehead. “Why?”

“He knows why.”

Fave Quote: “Maybe they’re involved in something shady. You know, like the mafia,,

#haikyuu #haikyū!!#sakuatsu #sakusa kiyoomi #miya atsumu #masterlist

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primal-slayer · 1 year ago

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Charmed cast, crew, guest stars talk Charmed

Here is my own Book of Shadows of Guest Stars talking about their time on Charmed. Please feel free to add any - put please ensure there is either a source, screenshot or an actual quote.

Michael Bailey Smith aka Belthazor/Shax/Grimlock I did 14 episodes on “Charmed” and had a great time. Whenever I showed up to the set as Belthazor, Alyssa Milano would always give me a kiss on the cheek and say, “You’re not scary.” Holly was really nice too, really down to earth. And I know the rumors about Shannen Doherty, but for me, she was always nice and very professional. I would always see her doing extra work off the set with the stunt people just to make sure her fight scenes looked good. I remember one time when we were preparing for a scene, she got a box of roses from someone. When she opened them, they were dead roses. People can be so cruel. https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10157836541399125&set=a.404883944124&type=3&theater

Brian Krause (leo)“ I can just tell you that she was the hardest working person on the set. Yes, she could be terse and abrupt, but she wasn’t always wrong, I’ll tell you that.”“She had everybody’s back, she was part of the family, she was the family. And when she left, we all wondered how the show was gonna last, and it’s honestly a miracle that we did and kudos to Holly and Alyssa and Rose [McGowan] that we did, they kept it together. But I have nothing but love for Shannen Doherty.”“Most of those comments come from guys, men in power with money who don’t like to be told what to do by a woman, especially a strong opinionated woman,” he said, adding: “She wasn’t always right, but she stood her ground.”https://www.pedestrian.tv/entertainment/brian-krause-interview/

James L Conway (producer)"Shannen was nice to almost everyday, she had script problems, always nice to the cast, she was the HEART AND SOUL OF CHARMED" That really says it all doesn't it? She viewed Charmed as her baby.Source: Charmed blu ray special feature

Christine Rose (Claire)"It was all with Shannen, and I thought she was absolutely darling. I had worked with her years before on Life Goes on. That was about a boy with a Down’s syndrome, and I was guest-starring as the boy’s teacher. Shannen was on that episode, too, and I was setting them up to be married, for what that might be like. I was new to L.A. then because I’d mostly been on the stage, and I was relatively new to being on camera. And I remember thinking, «This girl is a pro”. So I was aware of how good Shannen was, and she was very nice when I did Charmed. I enjoyed working with her, Holly Marie Combs, I had played her biological mother on Picket Fences. We didn’t get to work together on Charmed, but it was fun just getting to see her again. Otherwise my experience was pretty straightforward.

Actually, one other thing I remember was being at a table and another guest star was having a hard time. In between takes Shannen said something very encouraging and nurturing to her, and I thought she was very nice. So those are my memories, as sparse as they are"Source Unknown via: https://thecharmedcafe.proboards.com/thread/11658/guest-stars-working-shannen-doherty

TW King (andy) I think some of it is rumor, but a lot of it is based on truth because she was young when success hit her. The great thing about Shannen is that she is a total professional and is always prepared, and she expects everyone around her to be at the same level - and I like to think I am the same way, so I respect the way she is around the set. We get things done, things rapidly and according to the script, so I certainly can't complain.Source Unknown via: https://thecharmedcafe.proboards.com/thread/11658/guest-stars-working-shannen-doherty

Scott Steiner (Wrestling W/Demons demon) Steiner is asked about appearing on the TV show "Charmed" while working in WCW. He said that while explaining to Shannen Doherty's stunt double that he would have to put his hand in her crotch to perform a press slam, Shannen came up to him and said that she would do that and when Steiner told her that he would have to put his hand in her crotch, Shannen told him that is why she asked. Steiner says that she was cool and gets a lot of bad press.https://www.rspwfaq.net/2014/05/rf-video-shoot-interview-with-scott.html

Armin Shimerman (The Wizard) "I hated the ladies on "Bewitched"...um...uh..."Charmed!" "Charmed!" And there's a reason they were cast as witches. I...of all the shows I've ever worked, that was by far the ugliest." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zl24cHSS-w (8:10)

Danielle Harris (Aviva) First AC guy was talking to me - Shannen kept walking by, she wasn't very nice to me anyway but she kept getting mad. Wasn't sure what was going on. Wasn't a fun experience. A lot of fighting between the girls. If I pick Shannen, Holly would be mean. If I picked Holly, Shannen would be mean. Alyssa kept telling me what to do as if I didn't know anything. The AC was using me to get back at Shannen. He had been her boyfriend for 1.5 years. Thats why I was getting stink eye.

Scout Compton (Thistle the fairy) I did 7 or 8 episodes and it was interesting. I wasnt on (when Rose was on NOTE: She was only on 1 episode with Shannen. The rest with Rose)The women were always fighting in the makeup trailer.

https://talkscarytome.podbean.com/e/talk-scary-to-me-e9/ (22:00)

Geoffrey Blake (Four horseman) Alyssa was very welcoming. Most of them were except one that wasnt so nice**. (Shannen was largely absent this episode)** https://podcasts.apple.com/be/podcast/geoffrey-blake-podcast-apocalypse-not-part-2/id1573860155?i=1000526963557

Misha Collins ( Eric Bragg )

Unknown:

#charmed #shannen doherty #alyssa milano #holly marie combs #rose mcgowan #charmed season 6 #charmed season 4 #charmed season 1 #charmed season 5 #charmed season 8 #charmed season 3 #charmed season 2 #prue halliwell #phoebe halliwell #piper halliwell

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wexhappyxfew · 4 years ago

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—— 1 year anniversary to Landslide [BOB FIC]

Wow! 1 year! I can’t even believe that just last year, I was sat in a lake house, in the late hours of the night, trying to figure out what idea was going to be my next for another Band of Brothers story! I remember the moment and where I had been sitting when the idea hit and looking back, I’m so glad it hit when it did. Landslide is far from that little idea I got in that lake house, but has continually developed, grown and changed in ways I look back and can’t even begin to think about how it even happened!

Natia Filipska has been a character that I will cherish close to my heart. Of course, I adore my other OCs and will always love them, but Natia holds an even more special place there in my heart because of the challenge in writing she has offered me. She gives me a challenge everyday - whether it’s having to rewrite a scene 5 times because “it’s just not her” or completely starting over a chapter because knowing Natia, she’d have a better way to get out of this situation.

I’ve also made one of my absolute favorite ships, coined “Fliptoye” by a few readers (you know who you are hehe) and it has grown to truly be a favorite of mine for so many reasons. There was no “love at first sight” or really anything like that. Just two human beings realizing they genuinely care for each other and enduring both the struggles and hardships that come along with realizing in war, you care for something that war can also touch. That for one of the first times it is not longer just about you or the buddy next to you. Natia Filipska and Joe Toye have been a joy to write!

And of course there was the month of disliking Richard Winters, the iconic nickname of “Mapkeeper” for Lewis Nixon, the Roman History nerd jokes that have now developed with Ronald Speirs, the slow start of some sort of friendship because of cracking a joke about Nix with Harry Welsh, and the comfort of a friend from Carwood Lipton.

Even Joe Liebgott and Natia Filipska have swiftly become a favorite duo and I can completely agree. Getting to see where they started and where they are now — from seeing their differences and arguments and heavy weighted disagreements to know finding ways to comfort each other even in the midst of war and making sure the other is okay and even eating. They’ve definitely been one of my favorite duos to go through that sort of character arc together.

AND OF COURSE, we can not forget one of the most important driving forces in the fic, Death, himself (alongside the sarcastic bits of War haha), most importantly the personification of Death. What draws me to a character like him, is more than anything the fact words can not be communicated between Natia and Death yet they hold such a strong willed connection, that you almost don’t need to worry about words. Each layer that builds with their connection, leads for an even darker end and makes Death even more fascinating in the end.

You can’t forget a guy like Agent Mortem! Without him Natia and Agent “Fidel” wouldn’t be here right? Right? Right….? Well…..anyway…..even with who he is and his partially uncovered past, Agent Mortem remains a heavy asset to Landslide as the leading cause for WHY Natia could possibly even be the way she is and to provide backstory on a multitude of other things, and for reason for Natia to have her redemption. There’s so much unexplored. And I’m so ready to talk about it! :D

Landslide has challenged me in ways I can’t even begin to describe both mentally and emotionally with my writing. I’ve had to rewrite, rework, edit over and over just to get it right but at the end of the day, it is always worth it. In some ways I don’t even know what else to say, and almost think the story can speak for itself! It is made for you to interpret it they way you wish to interpret it, there’s no right way to see who Natia is or what Landslide is about — whether for you it be about family, friendship, love in war, darkness and overcoming that, the struggles of mental health, finding your own inner peace or independence….whatever it may be, I hope it has possibly even helped you somehow in anyway :) Even with the MAJOR HECKING ANGST (LMAO💀) or the extremely sad parts (that honestly are probably just super sad to me LOL), it still is a fic full of lessons and stories equally about someone like Natia!

I can’t WAIT for whatever else this story has to bring to the table! With still a bit of writing for the future to go, it makes me so incredibly hopeful for an end in sight on both Landslide and Natia’s character and peace for all those lost throughout the story <3

Thank you to EVERY single person who took a chance with Landslide and took a read, if you were from Day One, saw it while scrolling through Wattpad or AO3 or Tumblr, or even saw the Spoon meme! I appreciate each and every single one of you! Whether you voted, commented or left a kudo, or just even took a read! I appreciate you SO MUCH! I can’t even begin to describe the joy this story has brought me and the challenges as a writer it has provided. I’m hopeful for the rest of this fic and hopefully for one or two more to come!

Special shout-out to @vintagelavenderskies for being by my side with this project since like DAY ONE?!?! EVEN BEFORE DAY ONE?!? I don’t even know but just genuinely for so long, how could I not tag you! You always are just so excited to hype me up as well as Natia (the lil bean) and give me support and comfort for whatever I was doing (especially that support, there was some rough moments throughout the year and the fic lol!) I just can’t thank you enough for your friendship and joy you’ve brought to me! <3 Thank you my friend, so so much, for everything! :D

I’ll also shoutout a few more lovely people who have just been…..absolutely wonderful in providing both support, or insight, wonderful commentary or just sweet messages throughout writing this! @tvserie-s-world (thank you for all the moodboards!!)@wecomrades @stressedinadress (credit do you my friend for og fliptoye name!!) @pxpeyewynn @whoahersheybars @kryzes @holdingforgeneralhugs @martinsrestingbitchface @whovian45810 @geniedocroe @thoughpoppiesblow @how-are-those-nuts-sarge @alienoresimagines @alejodi0nysus @brichard-bwinters and just genuinely anyone else who even sent me a small ask or message, I appreciate it so much and your support or love or help in anything Landslide-related, helped me more than anything! <3

THANK YOU! TO ALL OF YOU! I don’t know what else to say except thank you. Thank you for letting me bring who Natia was, alive through this fic as well as her spirit and compassion of ending the war. Along with her friendships of Easy Company and hardships of both her past and mental health. It’s been an honor and privilege — here’s to many more! ✨

Happy reading! <3

tags: (because you’ve all been there for support and I simply adore you all <3) @sunnyshifty @alienoresimagines @vintagelavenderskies @julianneday1701 @huenoclue @liebegott @hellitwasyoufirstsergeant @sunflowerchuck @tvserie-s-world @wecomrades @thoughpoppiesblow @pxpeyewynn @rogue-sunday @stressedinadress @jalapeno-peaches-andhersheybars @lovingunderratedcharacters @legally-devorak @sgtxliptons86 @alejodi0nysus @mrsalwayswrite @heffrcns @curraheewestandalone @supervalcsi @xthefourthx @whoahersheybars @kryzes @papersergeant-pencilsoldier @whovian45810 @how-are-those-nuts-sarge @geniedocroe @holdingforgeneralhugs @martinsrestingbitchface @pipster4107 @mads-weasley

-> Feel free if you wish, to drop a favorite part that you really enjoyed from Landslide so far, a favorite memory or moment, happy or sad, a possible favorite quote or friendship if you wish too! If you feel even more inclined, questions are open as well! I have work all day but will be home to answer ;) THANK YOU ALL <3333 (mine has GOT to be the whole lone wolf thing lol!)

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justanother-unluckysoul · 4 years ago

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Working My Way Back To You 11/11

Killian gets captured. When Emma finally rescues him, he’s traumatized and nearly broken from the torture he endured. Thankfully Emma is close at hand to help him through it.

Heavy on the hurt/comfort, with some whump because I couldn’t help myself lol

A/N: And with that, my first multi-chapter fic is complete! I hope this ending is satisfying to you, some light and fluffy stuff to leave you feeling good after the angst and misery of earlier chapters lol

Thank you all so much for your support and your kind comments - every one of them brings a smile to my face. And I still cannot believe this story got over 100 kudos before I even posted this final chapter.

Unbetad as always so mistakes are all mine.

Tagging @cocohook38 as requested.

Read this chapter on AO3

Working My Way Back To You

Epilogue: Recovery

The weatherman’s knowledge of the weather so many days in advance is impressive. The conditions are perfect, the sun shining warmly but not too warmly, and enough wind to carry the ship smoothly out to sea with the tide. Exactly as predicted. As promised, Killian takes them out far enough that the sky and the water are all that be seen in any direction, giving instructions to Emma and Henry who are having a bit of a debate over which of them should be titled first mate - not that either of them really care, of course, it’s just a running joke at this point, the ‘argument’ interspersed with laughter and a lot of quotes and references Killian doesn’t get.

“Alright, calm down,” Killian orders, tossing a grin their way because he doesn’t mean it, “I don’t tolerate fighting amongst my crew.”

He loves hearing them laugh. When he joins them on the main deck for the picnic lunch Emma has brought, his heart feels even lighter. Henry talks almost constantly these days, whether he has food in his mouth or not – much to Emma’s eternal consternation.

“Killian, say something,” she insists, when Killian just keeps snickering about all the crumbs Henry keeps accidentally spitting out, “Tell him that’s bad form or whatever.”

“That’s bad form,” he says obediently, and he refrains from adding the or whatever, though he gives Henry a wink in full view of Emma which makes her roll her eyes.

“You two are just as bad as each other.”

“Sorry, love, in future I shall endeavor to set a better standard for your boy,” Killian says, with a bit more gravity than the situation requires.

Because he means it. He only wants the best for his family. Bloody hell, he’ll never get used to that thought – Killian’s family. He has a family. He never thought he’d be so lucky. As if she senses the emotional turn of his thoughts, Emma gives his cheek a chaste kiss that makes Henry dramatically cover his eyes with a sound of feigned repulsion, and the situation immediately regains its playful ambiance.

-\-

They spend hours out there on the water, just appreciating the sense of camaraderie and of freedom.

“We should sail away some day,” Henry says, looking almost longingly at the horizon, where sea and sky meet in a barely discernible seam, “For a vacation, you know, spend a few days at sea. Just for fun.”

“Got a taste for the pirate life, have you?” Killian teases.

“Maybe,” he says, a bit shyly, like he’s admitting something big, “I just want to know what it’s like, I guess. Being out there, just sailing around.”

“There’s a lot more to being a pirate than just sailing around.” And hell if Killian isn’t thinking of some of those things right now, not all of them pleasant and even less of them suited for Henry’s young ears.

“I know that,” Henry says, a bit of that teenage attitude coming out, “But I don’t think mom would approve of the other pirate stuff.”

They both spare a glance at Emma who is lazing on their picnic blanket on the deck, appreciating the sun. She might even be asleep. Killian feels a bit of guilt, for he suspects she’s tired from helping him deal with his nightmares, though she’d never admit it.

“Aye, that’s probably true. Well, let’s see about getting that vacation organized, shall we?”

-\-

When they finally sail back into Storybrooke’s harbor, the sun is getting quite low and the temperature is dropping. It’s a combined effort to get the Jolly Roger tucked back into her berth, helped along by the ship’s own enchantments as always, and Killian gives her a grateful pat before going ashore.

“She’s a good ship,” Emma says, her hand finding his as they walk along the dock, Henry’s attention firmly on his phone as he wanders ahead of them.

“Aye, that she is.” He can’t help the pride in his voice, both for his ship and for the fact that Emma has remembered to correctly refer to the Jolly as she.

“Thank you for taking us out. It was a good day.”

“For me as well. Let’s not wait too long before we do it again, alright?”

“Alright.”

She squeezes his hand a little tighter as she smiles at him, the setting sun casting her face in a beautiful light. Gods, he loves her so intensely it almost hurts. There is so much he wants to show her. And Henry as well. So many plans for their future together.

“Yeah, that was awesome,” Henry interjects like he’s almost forgotten to say it, his strides shortening to allow them to catch up, “Thanks, Killian.”

His hug catches Killian by surprise, but it’s just surprise that makes him hesitate, makes him gasp a quiet oh before he returns Henry’s embrace. Some time ago the sudden movement and unexpected touch would have alarmed him, sent his mind racing away into his memories. The way Emma’s hand has come up to rest against his back, bracing him, says she knows it as well. But he’s okay. This is okay.

“It was my pleasure,” he says, “We make quite the sailing crew,” and Henry disengages from the hug, grinning at him.

“I still think I-”

“Alright, fine,” Emma interrupts with a grin of her own, knowing what Henry is going to say because they’ve been having this mock dispute for weeks, “You can be first mate. But I’m the Pirate King.”

Killian tilts his head a little, eyebrows lifting, feeling rather perplexed at Emma’s comment. It’s probably another modern world reference, he thinks.

“Pirate King? I can’t say I’ve bestowed such a title on any of my crew before. And shouldn’t it be Pirate Queen, in your case?”

“Oh, yeah, we haven’t got to that movie yet,” Henry says, confirming Killian’s thought, “It’s on the list, though. Hey, mom, can we watch it tonight? Killian’s already seen the first two.”

Emma’s still got her hand against his lower back. He can feel the warmth from it now, somehow creeping through his clothing, through the layers of leather and cloth to settle against his skin. She glances up at him searchingly, checking his wellbeing, ensuring he’s okay with Henry’s plan before she agrees. Sometimes he’s too on edge by the end of the day to sit still, or too drained from fighting his own mind. But Killian can’t imagine a better ending to this perfect day than curled up on the couch with his family, making fun of a probably silly movie about make-believe pirates, and he gives a barely perceptible nod.

“Okay,” Emma says with a smile, “Movie night it is.”

Her hand slips back into Killian’s as they walk back to her vessel – her car, Killian mentally corrects himself. And he thinks for probably the hundredth time today that he’s so bloody fortunate to have found such a place in the world, so surrounded by love and support.

END

#comfortember 2020 #cs ff #cs fic #hurt/comfort #fluff #killian jones #emma swan #henry mills #captain swan #captain cobra swan #my fanfics

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ender-baggins · 4 years ago

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Apparently I’ve been tricked into liking AU fics. I was never interested in them because to me, a large part of what makes people who they are is their lives and experiences and the memories they have. Most of my own characters are built from their life experiences, and their personality blossoms from those. With Dean and Cas I like exploring who they are and what they mean to each other, in the context of their lives, and I will never find anything as compelling as Castiel and the fact that he literally gained true free will because he fell in love with Dean Winchester. So I was like “welp, I’m not gonna read AU’s because it’s not really Cas and Dean.” Which, I still will firmly stick to the opinion that Cas and Dean in an AU is not the same as Cas and Dean in SPN, but the assertion that I won’t read AU’s? Well that’s out the window 😂

My “mistake” was reading Linden by Fleeceframe (Absolutely beautiful fic, go read it right now). I had seen some quotes from it and decided to read it. Then I saw it was an AU and almost exited the tab, but I remembered the quotes and decided to make an exception for the fic.

Then I made another exception for Playing with Fire and halfway through was like “dammit I guess I can’t say that I don’t read AU’s now.” I didn’t read this fic for the Dom/Sub stuff (which was pretty good, btw), I actually decided to read it because it had Dean and Cas being idiotic about the fact that they were practically married already. I was not disappointed there, the authors did a wonderful job writing their dynamic. (Btw, this fic gets kudos from me, a poly person, for showing non-monogamous relationships in a good way)

I guess I have to go read The Dean Winchester Beat Sheet like autisticandroids has been telling everyone to do-

#fanfic au #spn au #supernatural #spn fanfic au #Ender’s musings

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nickelkeep · 6 years ago

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SPN Femslash February Master Post

Thank you to everyone who liked, reblogged, kudoed and commented on my stories this month. My confidence has skyrocketed, and I feel like I’m back on my way to being the writer I was before FF.net tore me down.

If you want to just see the series I put together, it’s available on AO3 here. Otherwise, you can see the full list below!

#1 – Time after Time – Favorite ship – Jody x Donna Rating: G Jody is having a rare night alone at home. It's something that she normally enjoys, but she's finding herself rather lonely for once.

#2 – Silver and Sunset – Sunset – Jody x Donna Rating: G Jody and Donna get to spend some time together at Donna's place, away from the girls, their jobs, and most of all hunting... right?

#3 – Fire and Brimstone – Favorite ship with an antagonist(s) – Lilith x Ruby Rating: Explicit TW: Dubious Consent, Consensual Non-Consent Ruby has been captured by Lilith's Minions. How far will Lilith go to get the information she needs?

#4 – Sage and Luck – Magic – Rowena x Charlie Rating: G Charlie and Rowena are helping the brothers with a case when Charlie hits a dead end and a headache. Rowena offers her assistance. #5 – Treble and Ink – Alternate Universe – Pamela x Charlie Rating: G A new shop has moved in across the street from Charlie's Comic Book shop. Dean convinces her to go check it out.

#6 – Cypress and Pomegranates – Favorite ship with a woman of color – Billie x Rowena Rating: G Spoiler Warnings for Season 14 Rowena has been looking for an answer to Dean's problem. Frustrated at a lack of a solution, she lashes out.

#7 – Secrets and Flowers – Flowers – Jody x Donna Rating: G Donna suggests that Jody picks up Gardening as a hobby. She agrees, but only because Donna says that she'll pick out the flowers for the garden. Donna picks out a unique grouping of flowers that Jody gets to decode.

#8 – Push and Pull – Lyrics inspired – Jody x Donna Rating: Teen Jody and Donna take a rare girl's night out to a dance club. Jody isn't the biggest fan of dancing, until Donna shows her why she should be.

#9 – Emerald and Gold – Favorite ship with a character that’s only been in one episode – Charlie x Dorothy Rating: Teen Warning: Canon-Typical Violence After the War in Oz, Charlie volunteered to go capture her ID. She figured that it wouldn't be a walk in the park, but what happened was anything but expected.

#10 – Lightning and Bottles – Storm – Charlie x Dorothy Rating: G Charlie experiences her first storm in Oz, and Dorothy teaches her a little bit about the weather. #11 – Pride and Revelation – Pride – Charlie x Dorothy Rating: G Charlie is in love with her roommate, Dorothy, but the feeling isn't mutual. Things get a little weird when Dorothy asks if she can tag along to Pride.

#12 – Sight and Circumstance – Favorite ship with a reaper(s) – Tessa x Pamela Rating: Teen TW: Attempted Non-Con Every Reaper is Assigned a Medium. That Medium helps the Reaper with difficult souls that don't want to cross. In return, the Reaper protects the Medium. Pamela will always remember how she met her medium.

#13 – Lipstick and Liquor – Longing – Claire x Kaia Rating: Teen TW: Alcohol Use/Abuse It's been almost a year since Kaia's death and Claire is still missing her and longing for her.

#14 – Leftovers and Valentines – Valentine’s Day – Jody x Donna Rating: Teen Donna doesn't like the fact that she's alone for Valentine's Day, but won't admit it. So she covers by working a Double so others can have the day off. #15 – Hunter and Witch – An unusual couple – Mary x Rowena Rating: G Mary doesn't like how close her boys are to Rowena. She doesn't understand why it gets under her skin, until the witch starts to get under hers.

#16 – Before and Always – Favorite OT3 or OT+ – Charlie x Dorothy x Gilda Rating: G Charlie finds out that her two best friends are dating. While they're explaining what's going on, Charlie reminisces about their past.

#17 – Timing and Opportunities – Inspired by a quote – Jody x Donna Rating: G Donna never realized that Jody would change her life in such a way. Donna's memories of how she and Jody went from Friends to Lovers.

#18 – Poppies and Mahonia – Free Day – Charlie x Dorothy Rating: G More Tales from Charlie and Dorothy's time in Oz. Dorothy finds Charlie's curiosity adorable and explains how some of things work in Oz.

#19 – Serpents and Grace – Favorite ship with an angel(s) – Anna x Ruby Rating: G Anna is approached by a demon with information that the Angels should have. The introduction to questioning her superiors is a lesson she didn't expect.

#20 – Crimson and Cracks – Red – Charlie x Rowena Rating: G Rowena is holding the rift open for the Winchesters to come back from the Alternate Universe. The last thing she expects is to see the face that has been haunting her dreams. #21 – Visits and Bribes – “They’ve never met but that doesn’t stop me from shipping them.” – Charlie x Pamela Rating: Teen Dean, Sam, and Charlie have hit a roadblock on their case. Charlie suggests calling in the medium that the brothers knows. They do, but the medium needs a little persuasion to make the trip.

#22 – File and Agency – Crossover – Charlie x Scully (X-Files) Rating: Explicit Agent Scully is stuck on desk duty when another FBI agent comes in demanding what should be an unknown file.

#23 – Judge and Executioner – Favorite ship with a demon(s) – Anna x Ruby Rating: G Anna continues to meet with the demon who provided information about the start of the apocalypse. Continuation of Serpents and Grace

#24 – Run and Gun – Power couple – Jody x Donna Rating: Teen Jody and Donna are lounging around when Sam calls them and asks them to take on a hunt.

#25 – Stars and Wishes – Favorite ship with a hunter(s) – Charlie x Dorothy Rating: G More tales from Charlie's time in Oz with Dorothy #26 – Magic and Technology – Opposites attract – Charlie x Rowena Rating: G Rowena is brought to the Men of Letters Bunker for help translating a spell. She meets Charlie for the first time, and they don't exactly see eye to eye.

#27 – Salt and Burn – Favorite ship with one of the Wayward Sisters – Jody x Donna Rating: G A quick snippet in to how Jody and Donna work on a hunt together.

#28 – Death and Taxes – Free Day – Anna x Ruby Rating: G Third Part of the Serpents and Grace story. Anna and the Demon continue meeting, and consequences catch up to them.

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hjertetssunnegalskap1 · 6 years ago

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Hi. For the director's thing, I'd love to know a bit more about the first chapter of Don't Leave Me (Alone) please. What made you decide to write it that way and how the more supernatural elements came about.

Ah, thank you so much for this ask! I ended up writing a far too long post about it. Kudos to anyone that actually reads it.

Don’t leave me (alone) was my very first Skam fic, well, my very first fic ever, so it has a special place in my heart. It’s hard to recall what made me decide to write it. I recall that the idea for the fic started out pretty simple, though. I wanted to write Isak and Even meeting as adults (but realizing that they had met before). I had an idea about Isak coming back to Oslo from his studies in Trondheim (yeah, I’m a psychic, I predicted Andem’s headcanon, lol).

I wanted to write Isak a little lonely, lost and not knowing what to do next:

He walks with long, quiet steps. There’s no reason to be quick, and he can decide which hotel to sleep in later. He stares at the pavement in front of him. Things are a bit shitty at the moment, he has to admit. Right now, he has no place to stay, no boyfriend, no job. Well, that isn’t exactly true; he has a possibility to work as a biology teacher at Hartvig Nissen, but he’s not particularly tempted.

Most people his age have jobs, houses and cars, and some even start to have kids. Whereas he has almost everything he owns in the backpack and suitcase. The thought gives him an uneasy feeling in his gut. It hadn’t been his intention to come home like this. He was going to come back with a good education, safe job and a bright future ahead of him. He had been close, too; he had studied at the university, and did well. But he never found a job that he wanted. On top of that, he hadn’t quite managed to make friends in Trondheim. He had made a couple of acquaintances, and had enjoyed some hookups, but still ended up spending most of his time home alone. It was like his whole life was on hold, waiting for something.

Yeah, “not knowing what to do” is a recurring theme in my stories, and I can’t really call it self insert, since I was determined to do what I did after high school (I was pretty sure I couldn’t make a living of writing and painting, so I chose something more reliable).

Anyway. I wanted Isak and Even to meet and have this sort of magical day that set everything in motion between them. Making a sort of one-night-stand to friends to lovers thing. When I tried to figure out where they should meet, I wanted to begin where their story sort of ended in the show, in Sagene church. I imagined that scene pretty clearly from the start, with Isak remembering meeting this unknown boy there, seven years ago, and then suddenly stumbling over the same guy, at the same place.

For a moment, Isak almost wonders if the guy has materialized from his thoughts. That’s ridiculous, of course. It must just be a weird coincidence.

Isak can’t look away. He just can’t. It is like those blue eyes hold him, and look right into him. His face burns, his heart races, all kinds of feelings tumble in his belly. His hands feel heavy, like they long to touch the other guy, making sure he is real. Isak struggles to shut his mouth and not look like an idiot.

I also imagined their moment in the church very clearly. I have done just what Isak and Even are doing here, once, crashing a funeral with someone I liked. And I guess that’s why the scene came easily to me.

But then the organ starts playing, and the little group of people in the front starts to sing another psalm. The sound of the melancholy hymn and the thin voices is oddly gripping: To live, it is to love/ the best your soul could reach/ to live it is in work/ searching richer goals. The words hit Isak hard, thinking about the lonely life of the deceased, and how it mirrors his own boring life.

My translation of the hymn is probably awful, but I’m kinda pleased with how I made that scene come together. Isak has a strong reaction to it all, and leaves.

The second part of this chapter is in Even’s perspective, and it was really interesting to write things in his point of view, both to explore his experiences of fears and doubts, but also to show his dorky side.

Now Isak turns around, facing him, and Even is forced to drop his hands from his shoulders. His looks still take Even’s breath away, just as they did in the church back when they were kids. Isak is still golden, but far from a boy, even if Even can see he still has sort of a boyish charm. Despite that impression, he is a man, with strong features and dark, green eyes. Even still feels the overwhelming want in his hands, the want to hold him, and the want to sense his skin. He has this excitement in his body and buzzing feeling in his fingers, something that makes him wonder if he is starting to become manic again, so he holds back.

Need to stay in control.

Isak meets his gaze for a moment, looking a bit embarrassed, and Even smiles at him.

– Okay, Even says, and tries to sound reassuring. – It seems like you are better now. But if it’s okay, I want to follow you to wherever you are going. Just to be sure you are all right.

Smooth. Even is quite pleased with himself.

I see now that even if the perspectives are altering, I do maybe write Isak’s perspective clearer than Even’s. Or maybe it feels like that in chapter one because Isak has more parts (in the second chapter Even has more).

In the next part, we’re in Isak’s head again, and they have a stop at Hartvig Nissen. I guess it’s easy to notice that I picked locations from the show and built the story around it. The story more or less starts at the church, and they visit several of the sites, but just in a jumbled order. Of course, I did some changes, the cafeteria turned into a coffee shop and things like that. Also, while the locations are sort jumbled compared to the show, the scenes parallel the show pretty closely. It helped me find a structure for the story.

As they have a chat in the schoolyard, they talk about before, and I get the opportunity to parallel some of the moments from the show that I love. Like this one:

Isak looks at Even. – Which school did you go to?

– Bakka.

Even glances at him, and looks ridiculously hot with his swoopy hair and bright, blue eyes.

Isak swallows, but puts on a cocky face. – That figures, he smiles. – Elvebakken is the place to go for hipster movie makers or media wannabes, isn’t it?

– Ha ha.

Even smiles at Isak, but there is something serious in his eyes. – I almost transferred to Nissen, actually, in my last year. That is, I got delayed for a year, and then I thought about changing schools.

– Really? Why?

Even`s gaze at him is thoughtful. – It’s a long story. I can tell you over a beer some time.

I can tell you. Some time. Isak likes that little promise.

– But I decided that I wasn’t that kind of person, Even continues.

Isaks looks at him. – What kind of person?

Even shrugs. – I didn’t want to be that kind of person who quits, I guess.

Sounds familiar, you say? If you have read more than one of my Skam fics, you know that I make parallels to this, over and over again. I just can’t seem to let go of it, for some reason.

Oh, I must also comment something about the horrible dick jokes. As we know, Isak and Even has this thing where they do a lot of banter, and I knew that banter wasn’t something I wrote easily. So to help myself to add some humor between them, I added some silly dick jokes. I’m not sure about how well it worked, but I guess it helped me get over the fear of writing banter.

Anyway. In the next part, Isak struggles to find a hotel and Even takes an initiative. And in the next and final part, they go to Even’s flat and things heat up. I don’t know if I should say more about it. I can’t quote everything in this fic, this post is already far too long. Also, I shouldn’t spoil everything. However, I can say that I wanted to write this situation where everything happens a bit too fast, perhaps, and then take it from there.

So, about the supernatural elements. Right now, I can’t recall exactly which magical scene that started the whole magical realism thing. Maybe it was the one in the church. I think that Isak had a moment where everything got blurry and he felt that he knew Even from before. I had planned to just have just a few moments like that and leave it as a mystery (I’m weak for magical realism and it tends to pop up in my writing from time to time). But my amazing beta reader saw the potential and helped me see more places that I could add more magic. And that magical realism thing became a big part of the whole fic. Actually, it became the most important part of the story. And the most fun part was that it fit surprisingly well with the idea of parallel universes.

Here’s an example of one of these moments in the church:

One moment he has this vision, of himself in another life, where he has chosen love, and living for real, where he laughs and cries and lives, and it takes his breath away. It’s bizarre, but he sees himself with Even, with this guy next to him, and they do everything together; they kiss, laugh, fuck, fight and cry and kiss again, and it can’t be right, because it almost feels like memories. Memories from another life that never was. To live, it is like the ocean, / to mirror the heavens.

What is happening to him? Isak can’t breathe. It is like he is trapped.

As a result, this chapter changed quite a lot from my first draft, as I added more magic moments and as I knew where the story would go. I guess I learned a lot, writing this thing, about how stories can change and turn into something more than you imagine from the start.

#skam #evak #fic writing #director's commentary #don't leave me (alone)#Anonymous

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shadowdianne · 6 years ago

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4th @emettkaysworld

Hello twin… what can I say? I don’t remember how we ended up following each other but kudos to whatever post that was responsible for that. With you I have learnt a lot, I’ve laughed a lot and we both have discovered how gay we are for certain buzzfeed producer. You are wise, my friend, and you definetely have an old soul. The kind of one that is always written under the premise of deep, star-filled eyes. Your messages never fail to make me jump to the app, ready to start whatever conversation we had both left unattended (we can be the worst, I know I’m the worst on that regard lol) Thank you, for being there, for being here, for taking my words at face value always, no matter what. I only feel pride when I see you keeping on moving forward, always will be. Happy 2019.

- The lovely Emett went for the trope of let’s going to make Dianne here think around a quote. SwanQueen, of course, because these two own our souls.

"Thanks for listening when I wasn't even talking.”

Regina glanced up from the glass of white wine she had asked for herself, her eyes zeroing on Emma’s profile as the blonde picked up the half-full pint she had practically inhaled ever since Aesop had placed both drinks on the counter in front of them. The blonde’s eyes were fixed on the dark liquid but the shoulder facing Regina was slightly lowered, elbow on the table and long fingers drumming against the wood.

Away from them, the sounds of chatter, laughter and glasses clinking against the tables that were already full surrounded them both. A noise Regina had learnt to consider her own, her blood, one that still jogged her muscle memory on the days she felt overtly tired, the crown too heavy on top of her head. Now, however, the brunette felt the sound as if coming from outside a bubble, one in where both she and Emma were immersed into; untouchable and afar from the people that had welcomed her with open sincere smiles as the merging of the realms settled, the magic toll that had taken on her still present on the way she felt her powers brim, just a second away from breaking through her skin.

Silence stretching, the brunette waited for Emma to elaborate further; not entirely sure if that was what the woman even wanted. Ever since their return Regina had felt a strange pull around the blonde; almost as if even if her body remembered how it was to be around the other woman her brain was painfully aware of the time they had spent separated. Something made by a decision they both had taken in the middle of a forest with a gaping vortex waiting behind Emma, a life very different from the one Regina had wanted for her in that moment, glaring at them both.

And so, as she stared at Emma, the brunette pressed the tips of her fingers against the stem of the glass, fine cracks of purple rising from where her fingers touched the surface of the glass up to the bowl in where they simply dissipated in a barely-there mauve mist.

Green eyes blinking at her in a quick movement, Emma’s cheeks reddened just lightly as she brought the rim of her own glass to her lips, throat bobbing up and down beneath the black turtle neck she wore. One that made Regina think on the last time they had truly shared a drink; over that same spot on the pub, with an impending hell to crash on them all. A memory that also seemed to haunt Emma’s face as the blonde closed her eyes and sighed deeply, the sound of the glass against the counter deafening as Regina remained silent, waiting.

At some other time, she could have even asked Emma what she was referring to, why she was approaching a subject neither of them were good at. Today, however, she didn’t feel brave enough to do it, to confront the young woman. Not when she already knew.

Because she remembered the many many times both she and Emma had glanced at each other, destroying whatever lies they had been trying to sell and simply see through the curtains, dispelling any false sense of bravado they had tried to project time and time again. The question, she thought to herself as she rose the glass, taking a quick sip from it before glancing down, staring at the way Aesop’s gentle lighting fell upon its surface, wasn’t what but when. When that had last happened since she had left. Driven by something that could only be described as loss. The loss of Storybrooke as her home, as the place she thought would be her final destination in a very long journey as the reason for precisely that was the woman that now kept staring at her, remorse glimmering on her green eyes.

And Regina didn’t blame her, she couldn’t, wouldn’t; as much as Emma had been at the epicenter of the reason why she had decided to leave it had ultimately fell on Regina’s shoulders the realization that everything hurt too much.

Which ultimately made her growl inwardly before putting her own glass down, a shower of sparkles following her movements before she turned fully towards the younger woman.

“Emma…” She spoke, her voice far too soft and Emma halted, apparently already decided that she wasn’t going to get an answer either from her former words. Lazy smile spreading, she looked at Regina through half-lidded eyelids and Regina felt her breath getting trapped on her throat, fingers clenching the edge of the counter, muscles aching. Looking away, the Queen licked her lips, her voice rising again even before she had enough time to curate, to edit, her words. “Always.”

And she saw the sudden change, the way despondent, tired posture morphed into a cockiness gait. One she had missed, one she had thought to having been discarded by a woman that had been forced into a cage made by expectations and decisions that hadn’t been hers on the first place. And yet, after many many years a glimpse of that was back in an instant, like a new skin spreading through Emma’s posture, a conversation on her eyes Regina wasn’t sure if it was directed at her or was something the blonde was having entirely on her own. Until, she of course, stopped, the faint scent of Emma’s power clinging around her, into her.

Humming, the blonde moved closer to her, quietly placing her hand on top of Regina’s, softly easing up the grip on the counter with a well-placed caress, one that made Regina’s body freeze as she bore her eyes onto Emma’s, fire and hunger glimmering there, darkening green and blue, transforming it into a stormy, cloudy grey.

“I’ve realized that it was time to listen too.”

And, with a flourish that only truly surprised Regina herself, Emma launched forward, magic scrapping Regina’s chest and neck as the blonde’s grasped her clothes, a faint whistling didn’t register until Regina closed her eyes, head reeling at the touch of two lips against hers, the even faintest sound of a ring falling to the floor what made her reciprocate, drunk on it.

PS: Oh, I totally forgot to say this before but all the stories for this idea of writing them all for the bunch of lovely people I want to gift are going to be tagged “OnTheLastDayOfChristmas”

#OnTheLastDayOfChristmas #swan queen #emettkaysworld

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that-one-obsessed-weirdo · 7 years ago

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20 Million Memories

So @dashingten had a really cool idea where we post our favorite memories of being in this community! And as many special memories as I have of being here, I’ve narrowed it down to two favorites:

My first favorite is actually my first memory of being a part of this community. I had watched Jack’s Undertale playthrough with @spittinginsanity in early 2016 (and loved it, of course!) but I only really ever watched him when we hung out. That is, until October of 2016, aka one of the best Halloween’s I’ve ever had.

@spittinginsanity had already explained and showed me all the Anti stuff that was occurring earlier that month, and I seriously thought it was so cool that someone was taking something his community created and making it canon. It only really “clicked” for me though 3 days before Anti’s official debut. I was spending the night at @spittinginsanity and she was catching me up on all the chaos of the past week’s videos. We ended up watching the whole first episode of Layers of Fear, and I suddenly felt a whole new feeling of investment in his channel, and not to mention an underlying excitement for what might occur in a few days. No surprise, I only fell harder as we watched a few more videos, and as soon as I got home the next day, I subscribed to the channel.

The following two days leading up to Halloween were an absolute joy! It had been a while since I had been a part of any fandom or community, so I practically threw myself into the current hype of this community. It was honestly refreshing, energizing, and I had yet to even realize how open and welcoming this community was. I remember after we both finally watched Anti’s debut, @spittinginsanity asked me if I was gonna move on now, thinking I had just gotten into the hype of the whole thing. With how I can be, that could’ve easily been the case, but I already knew better after those few days. So I told her without a doubt that I was here to stay, and almost two years later, I’m so, SO glad that it all happened. @spittinginsanity and I have been so much closer because of this, and I wouldn’t trade that for anything. ❤️

My other favorite memory comes less than a year later, when Jack announced the test run dates and locations for the HDWGH tour. When @spittinginsanity messaged me and told me he was coming near us and that her parents would drive us if we got tickets, I was in total shock. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t even been in the community for a year at that point and was already going to see my idol in person. That was then followed by tears of joy, no doubt. :’D

Fast forward to a month later when we were in Milwaukee to finally see it. At this point, I was pretty involved with my school’s musical (School of Rock! 🤘), and college applications were on my mind. I’ll explain that in more detail later.

I remember very specifically the first time I saw Jack in person, before the Qn A. He was getting off the elevator and as soon as I saw him, my brain went from “oh hey, it’s Jack :D” to “oh waIT ITS JACK. LIKE THATS REALLY HIM HOLY SHIT.” And the we just sat their in our shock and excitement until the QnA started. (Thankfully it wasn’t quite as overwhelming to see him on stage the second time then...xD)

Then we saw the actual show, and although I had my suspicions, I didn’t realize that it would stay with me so much in the following year. Jack said something that really spoke to me that night, beyond all the fun and humor of the show (which is a treat just as well!) “You can overcome any obstacle if you put your mind to it.” I thought of that quote as we were walking out of the venue, and I immediately felt WAY less scared about all the college decision making that was happening. Motivation was high after that, especially when it came to my musical rehearsals. The day after the show, I still managed to bring myself to school on whatever sleep I had got the night before. We ran through our music that night, and when it came to my solo, it was like something suddenly just clicked because it sounded so much more confident than it had before. I kinda sat there and just thought about the show from the night before, how it could’ve been the reason why, and how it would be on my mind until those final bows a month or so later. And God, was I right. My experience being in School of Rock was already so insane, but something about remembering that show all the way through made it seem like so much more. More than anything, it motivated me on another level, even just knowing that my idol had experience being on the stage now too. Yet it was still so much more than that though; I don’t know how to explain it but...I know I will never forget that time in my life, from the initial knowledge we were seeing Jack on tour, to the show itself, and then to the musical that changed me even more.

I could talk on and on just about these memories alone, but I think I’m already rambling as it is so I’ll just stop here. xD The point is though, being in this community has given me so many good memories. I’ve met friends, gotten closer to friends I already had. I’ve been drawing more because of it. More than anything, it’s opened and enhanced so many experiences for me over the past two years. I’m actually feeling shocked just thinking about it.

I know I’m not the only one feeling that way. I’m among soon to be 20 million others who feel this way too, who also share in these experiences. I have no clue how to truly thank you for that, @therealjacksepticeye, but know that what you have given us and allowed us to do and to be is so, so special to me, and to the whole community. You are a truly amazing human being. 💚

And of course, thank you @spittinginsanity for bringing Jack into my life in the first place. I honestly don’t know where I would be or where we would be without him, but I know I don’t want it any different. I love you so much!! ❤️

So many good memories lay in this community, so here’s to 20 million of them, and then to 20 million more!

—

Okay, wow, this got long. Like, really long...If you’re still reading this, kudos to you. And also sorry. 😂

(Uh...okay, I should probably go to bed now like I said I was going to an hour ago. 😂😂 Night dudes!)

#jacksepticeye #20 million memories #jse community #pma

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mintchocolateleaves · 7 years ago

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Time Marches On

A/N: The KaiShin server asked for an angst ridden wings!AU. I could only oblige and write them this.

The thing about Icarus was that he really believed he could maintain the ‘balance’ when he got his wings. He believed in every wax feather, every beat of his manmade creation that he could survive with the unnatural.

Icarus died when he got wings.

Kaito had to die to get them.

He’s still a little confused on the particulars of his situation. There’s not much he can remember about his own death, too many memories blocked in a haze of pain and disillusion. The last moment he remembers is finding Pandora, seeking to destroy it.

Turns out destroying something immortal takes away a person’s mortality after all. Because somewhere after that, Kaito had woken up in a melancholic world where the only one’s capable of seeing him were the dying.

He’d also woken up with wings, extra limbs, that he hasn’t the faintest clue of how to navigate. Which is almost a little disheartening because as KID, he’d spent a lot of time flying, it’d be nice if he could continue to do so.

So, he’s… some sort of angel now. Kaito sees the irony, he’s had the laughs. It’d be a lot funnier, if he wasn’t, you know, dead.

There had been a funeral for him, Kaito knows there must have been. He’d woken up shivering, wings folded over his body, beside a tombstone with his name scrawled across it. Beloved son, had been placed next to Beloved father, and Kaito hadn’t know whether to cry or curse.

(Later he’d noticed dirt beneath his fingernails, and Kaito had realised that he must have dug his way out, clawed his way out from the casket he’d been buried in.)

Nature remains the same for him – the breeze is chilling against his body, the grass prickly against his bare feet – so clawing his way out was really the only option. If he thinks about it properly that is. Kaito’s not really that sure why, but with so much time to simply think, he’s decided that it’s probably because nature doesn’t look away from death in the same way Humanity does.

Humans, Kaito summarises, cannot see him in the way nature can, because they’re constantly avoiding the stare of death.

It’s quite… sad… now that Kaito can take a step back and simply see.

“Well…” he mutters to himself, glancing around, “what is there left for me now?”

Animals can see him, yes, but he can’t spend all his time surrounded by animals. He needs to hear some sort of conversation, find someone else in the same situation – even if that means finding someone who’s… someone who’s willing to stare death in the eye.

He starts with hospitals. There are always deaths, always people willing to talk to an angel who might guide them towards the end more easily – their words, not his. Many of them tell him stories, families believing they’re delusional even though for the first time, these people can truly see.

“I lost my wife,” one older man whispers now, “a few years ago. She was murdered… I can’t wait to see her again. Will you make sure I find her again?”

Like with all the other people who have viewed him as a guardian angel in the past, Kaito feels unable to deny them. He doesn’t know what happens to those who die, but they never join him in this… nothingness.

Instead of arguing, he nods.

“Tell me about your wife,” Kaito whispers, “so I know who to point you towards.”

He’s told about a marriage, the kind of marriage Kaito had once wanted with… He shakes his head, keeps listening. And then, there’s a mention of a name that makes his stomach drop, heart aching in his chest.

“She was murdered, but we’d have never known the truth about how without that police investigator Kudo Shinichi.”

Kaito tries not wince, does so anyway, and finds that he has to look away. The thought of Shinichi, the smiles they’d once shared brings him more pain. And to think he’d been trying so hard to avoid thinking of the man he’d wanted to spend an eternity with.

“That name,” the patient across from him whispers, “you find it hard to hear?”

Kaito turns to look him in the eye, offers the rawest resemblance of a smile at the words. The truth hardly seems appropriate – how can he say they’d been engaged, preparing to marry without receiving some sort of pity? – so he decides to lie.

“I’m his guardian angel,” Kaito says, “and I’ve just… there’s so much to save him from, that sometimes it doesn’t feel like enough.”

All of the things Kaito had done to keep Shinichi safe. The dramatic spectacle of KID vs Conan, it all feels redundant now. Kaito is gone, and Shinichi is without him and nothing will ever even the guilt Kaito feels about have left Shinichi behind.

“If you’re his guardian angel,” the other whispers, “then why are you listening to me whiter on?”

Kaito offers him a smile, “Shinichi is the type who’d feel selfish if I spent all my time watching over him.”

He finally finds the courage to seek Shinichi out, months after his death. Or rather – months after he’d clawed his way through dirt, because he’d been dead for at least a year before then.

(Time is rather inconsistent for him now, sometimes a month feels like a day. Other times a day seems like eternity.)

There’s a silence to Shinichi that Kaito doesn’t remember. It’s overwhelming, like a black fog buffering around him, incapable of being broken through. It’s brings a shiver to Kaito, as he follows behind the detective.

He’s thrown himself into his case work. Kaito can see as much from the bags under his cheeks, the pale sheen to his skin. He’s exhausted, and Kaito knows that there’s nothing he can do to help.

Nothing but to be there, invisible to the eye, waiting beside Shinichi until the other man heals. There’s a break in Shinichi’s spirit, and all Kaito can do is stay by his side, watching until it pieces back together.

“Another murder…?” Shinichi mutters, as he passes police tape. Kaito ducks beneath it, wings snagging on the tap in a way that makes people assume there’s been a gust of wind. “What was the cause of death on this one?”

“Stab wound to the abdomen,” Hattori, his detective partner, mumbles, “so far it looks like a typical muggin’. Not every murder is as intricate as th’ one’s we used t’ solve.”

“Let’s take a look,” Shinichi says, following behind the Osakan, with a lack of energy and an almost inaudible sigh that ends up rattling against Kaito’s ear drums. “Hopefully we can get the murderer caught before anyone else becomes their victim.”

The crime scene is ghastly. It’s not particularly bad, not for a murder at least, but it is the loss of life and to Kaito it’s nothing short of nightmare inducing. He’s sure his dreams would be plagued by the sight alone, if he had a need for sleep. Maybe he’s lucky in that regard.

“Oh,” Shinichi says, gaze whizzing across the scene. He kneels beside the body, gets a look at the stab wound – and any other wounds on the body, before looking up. “So that’s how it must have happened.”

Kaito kneels beside him, lifts his wings up as if to block Shinichi from the wind, and tries to see things as the other man does. It’s difficult – he can’t play the scene out in his head well enough, not even seeing the lacerations and slashes on the victim’s body.

It’s something he had both admired and hated about Shinichi. His ability to wrap his mind around people’s dying moments.

“He saw the knife before the stabbing,” Shinichi says now, standing up. “See the cuts on his hand, he tried to get the knife before he was murdered. He wasn’t scared – my guess is he knew the attacker.”

Hattori leans down again, glances at the wounds. He nods his head, “yeah. I can see where ya coming from. We should start lookin’ at his acquaintances an’ work from there.”

And like that, they’ve made leeway on another case. There’s nothing Kaito can do to help him there, has to leave Shinichi to solve another meaningless murder, imprison another misguided criminal in need of rehabilitation.

“Why are you overworking yourself, Shinichi?” Kaito mutters as they walk off towards the police car. He’ll have to travel alongside it, good thing he can fly, to get to the next person. “Why won’t you take a break?”

The next murder Kaito is present at, alongside Shinichi, is at the local supermarket, when Shinichi is off duty. Kaito would like it to be known that ‘off duty’ is surrounded by quote marks, because Shinichi doesn’t take breaks, not anymore, and he’s skimming over case files on his phone while listlessly throwing groceries into his basket.

There’s a loud bang, a bullet whizzing through the air, and Kaito turns to see a man holding a gun, pointing towards the cashier. A robbery – something Kaito and Shinichi hadn’t noticed occurring because they’d been at the other end of the shop, Shinichi too engrossed in his case reports.

The detective glances up from his phone, rushes towards the robber. His own gun – police issued, meant to remain at the station when he clocks off-duty, but Shinichi won’t stop working – is raised within the time it takes for the thief to notice him.

During this time, Kaito makes his way towards the dying man.

He’s bleeding, heavily, and it’s quite easy to see that he’s going to die. Kaito knows, because the man notices him with an almost heavy gasp, lets out a small moan of ‘a-angel’.

“You want to put pressure on the wound,” Kaito says, leaning down and helping the man lift his arm to the wound in his stomach, “it’ll keep the bleeding from being too intensive.”

“An angel’s here to take me away…?” The cashier mumbles, ashen. He’s squinting as if struggling to see straight – not that Kaito can blame him, it’s always dizzying, blood-loss.

“I’m not an angel,” Kaito says, “I’m just Kaito. So, don’t worry, you’ll make it through this.”

He wishes it were true, but there’s hope in the man’s eyes when he closes them, echoing Kaito’s own name.

When he looks up, Shinichi has apprehended the robber, has called for back-up, and has the man pinned to the counter. All of that, and yet he’s staring at the body wide eyed.

Later, Kaito realises why he was so wide-eyed.

“He said Kaito’s name, Hattori,” Shinichi mutters, when the two are in their patrol car. Hattori drives, probably because they both know Shinichi’s always going to be reckless with cars. “And it, it threw me off. I almost let go of my grip hearing his name, why can’t I just move on?”

Hattori is quiet beside him. He says, “you can’t move on because you don’t know what happened.”

“But I do know what happened,” Shinichi mutters, “he wasn’t murdered, he died of natural causes, I made the doctors look repeatedly.”

A pause. And then, “I know, but ya also know it ain’t normal for a twenty-two-year-old to just drop dead o’ natural causes. Whatever the doctors said.”

Shinichi sighs. Shakes his head.

Kaito, sat in the back, wings crushed between the doors – he’d dived into the car when Hattori had opened his door, found his way to the back – feels a twinge of regret. So that’s how he’d died: He’d broken Pandora, and in return, it had broken him.

It only gets worse from there.

Shinichi only gets worse.

It’s almost like hearing the man mutter Kaito’s name has rekindled an obsession, a need to know what happened. He attacks murder scenes with a rigid mindset – catch the criminals, find who did it – empathy draining from his voice at every approaching scene.

Shinichi becomes cold.

And it’s all Kaito’s fault.

The crime scenes become increasingly more worrying, not because it’s continued death – although it is alarming when some of them see Kaito in their last moments – but because Shinichi wraps himself up in them.

Shinichi throws himself so deeply into his work, that Kaito can see it visibly pains him. The detective gets to a point where he can feel each bullet tearing through his skin, can imagine with such accuracy the pain of every laceration.

Kaito gets the impression that Shinichi wants to feel that pain. Wants to feel the pain of dying so he can be a little closer to Kaito – or maybe, maybe so he doesn’t need to think of Kaito at all. If only for a little while.

It seems to work, for a while. One month rolls into two, until it’s been another six months with little change and guilt weighing too heavily on Kaito’s conscience. Nothing really changes until one of the children at the crime scene notices the angel standing beside the ‘scary’ police detective.

She’s small, roughly five years old – just old enough to want to know the answers to everything. Still young enough that she hasn’t averted her eyes from everything else – Kaito’s certain the girl’s only slightly older than Shinichi had been when he’d first met him as Conan.

Police reports say she’s the daughter of the victim, a young girl called Miu.

The police are trying to ask questions – she’d been the only one in the house when the murder had occurred over night – when Miu turns to Shinichi and points. She says, “why does that man have wings?”

The other detectives turn to Shinichi, offer raised eyebrows. Shinichi himself seems to be taken aback, dragged out of his bad mood for almost a moment.

He says, “I don’t have wings.”

Miu shakes her head, runs up to Kaito and points at him. She says, “no, not the detective, the one standing beside him.”

It’s at this time that Kaito gets the impression that the officers think she’s daydreaming, seeing things to cope with her mother’s death. It’s why he leans down to face her, lifting his wings just high enough that she can brush her hands beneath the bottom.

“The wings are pretty,” she whispers, and most of the detective’s have gone back to their work. All of them except Shinichi – maybe he remembers his own time as a child, how foolish it would be to overlook what they’re saying.

“Thank you,” Kaito mumbles, and smiles when he realises it’s not just the dying that can see him. Children have always been more finetuned to nature than adults, have always been more observant because everything is new. “I’ve become quite fond of them.”

Miu smiles. “Are you an angel? How long have you had wings? Do they feel like arms?”

So many questions. How many will he be able to answer before the police detectives decide Miu needs to be asked more questions, or taken from the house to stay with a relative.

“I’m not an angel,” Kaito responds, “and I’ve had them for about two years.”

“Are you this detective’s partner? Or his guardian angel?”

Kaito forces a smile, “I just stay by Shinichi’s side, to make sure he’s alright. I care an awful lot about him.”

“…Shinichi…?” Miu turns to the detective in question, and then back to Kaito, “so you love him then?”

Later, in the car, Hattori has to talk about how the child has probably seen his name in the newspaper and that’s how she knew his name.

Shinichi, rather understandably, is riled. He’s confused, and his hair is almost as messy as Kaito’s is, because he keeps pulling at the ends trying to figure everything out.

“I don’t understand,” Shinichi mutters, “she knew my name, and she knew that someone who loved me died two years ago. It makes no sense?”

Hattori shakes his head, seemingly as lost. “Children are strange sometimes, ya know that. It’s just a coincidence, Kudo.”

Shinichi bites into his lips and says, “there’s no such thing as coincidence, hasn’t our work taught us that?”

The change this time is even more drastic.

Shinichi had dived into his work after the cashier’s death. Now, following the conversation of Miu, he almost stops having a life outside of work altogether. Before, he’d had the skeleton of a social life – dinners with close friends or visiting parents.

Now, he turns the offers away.

Shinichi reads files on robberies and cold cases. And sometimes, during the darker parts of the evening, when insomnia keeps him awake, lingers into the hour of the dead, Shinichi pulls open a folded case file on something he’s never been able to fully solve.

Kaito’s smile is on one of the pages. Next to the photograph is a printed copy of his complete medical history, and after that: His history as KID.

The one case Shinichi cannot solve. The last case Kaito left him.

“Stop obsessing over me,” Kaito mutters one night, despite knowing that the other man can’t see him, “there’s no answer in these files for you. Please.”

Shinichi doesn’t move on.

If anything, he takes a step back.

“It’s like you’re haunting me,” Shinichi mutters one night, when it’s nearing four a.m, and he’s nursing a headache with peppermint tea. “Goddammit Kaito, you weren’t really a phantom, why are you haunting me like this?”

Kaito sighs.

“I don’t know,” he whispers.

“There’s something behind all this,” Shinichi says in the patrol car one night, sat next to Hattori. “I know there is, it wouldn’t make sense if there wasn’t something causing all of this confusion.”

“Kudo, it’s not some conspiracy. It’s just a–”

The sound of a gunshot pierces through their conversation. At once, adrenaline is rushing through Kaito’s body, even though he knows there’s no way he can be shot.

“Request for backup Hattori,” Shinichi says, opening his door. He’s out within seconds and Kaito dives out of the car after him, his feathers getting caught in the door.

There’s no way he can open the door, so Kaito pulls at his wings until feathers snag from his skin, a sharp shooting pain spreading across his back. Droplets of blood drip from the bottom of his wings, and Kaito forces himself not to whimper.

Hattori’s voice shouts out for backup and for Shinichi to wait, but of *course* Shinichi doesn’t. He races forwards, hands reaching down to the gun holstered at his waist, arming himself.

It’s a murder. Point blank.

Kaito knows the look of killers, having been following Shinichi around for a while now. Having stood beside him during cases.

“Put your hands up!” Shinichi shouts, gun raised. The suddenness of his appearance must throw the man off, because he doesn’t put his hands up – he shoots instead.

Seconds later, there’s a flash from Shinichi’s gun, and Kaito watches as the man falls. Kaito’s just glad that Shinichi hasn’t–

“Kaito?”

The thief reels back at the sound of his name, and then, he balks. He says, “Shinichi? You were…?”

Shinichi glances down, follows Kaito’s gaze to the wet patch against his black coat. Blood pools against the fabric, and when Shinichi presses his hand against the coat, red stains it.

Shock rids his expression of any other feeling, and Kaito isn’t sure whether it’s the sight of him, or the fact that he’s bleeding out.

“It’s really you.” Shinichi says, and he’s wobbly on his feet. Kaito surges forwards, helps Shinichi down to his feet as best he can – he’s not physically present, not able to hold him, but the psychological aspect helps Shinichi to sit down at least. “I thought I’d never see you again.”

“I know,” Kaito says. He’s never usually lacked words when it comes to speaking, especially not with Shinichi, but what is he supposed to say? ‘Sorry that I died?’ It’s not as simple as that.

“But it’s not really you is it,” Shinichi mutters, turning his eyes away, “I’m just seeing you because of… this.”

He waves towards the blood. And then, in an attempt to grab the attention of anyone around him, he calls, entirely too weakly to be heard, for help. For Hattori to come save him.

There’s no way to convince him that it’s really him, so Kaito decides not to bother. Shinichi’s going to be glad either way to see him. Arguing at this point is just useless.

“You need to shout a little louder,” Kaito says, wrapping his wings around the man so the cold doesn’t seep into his bones. “If you don’t, no one will hear.”

Shinichi shakes his head, “why did you die, I don’t understand. Why did you leave me?”

“I’ve not left you,” Kaito says, and there’s a desperation in his voice now, his hands trembling with trepidation. “I’ve been with you this whole time, Shinichi, you just can’t see me.”

“You’re dead.”

The tone is blunt, almost venom-like with how angry it seems. Of course, Shinichi isn’t just sad about his death, but angry too. If he’d been murdered, if there had been any signs then Shinichi could have found a way to understand. But he’s left the detective with one riddle that’s to complex to solve.

“I know.” A pause. “It’s because I found Pandora.”

Shinichi opens his mouth, falters on the words. Kaito takes it as a sign to keep going:

“Remember the stories of an immortal stone? What do you think happens to something when it loses it’s immortality?”

“It dies.”

Wide-eyed, Shinichi shudders the words into the silence. He’s always been able to solve KID’s riddles, even if he does sometimes require a small push. This realisation, it almost seems enough to make the other realise it’s really him.

(Either that, or Shinichi’s beginning to wish it’s Kaito. But really, isn’t that the same thing as believing?)

He calls for help now. Louder, a high enough voice that Kaito’s certain he can hear footsteps racing towards them both – Hattori’s footsteps.

“Kaito?” Shinichi mutters, “can I ask you for something?”

Kaito offers him a smile – the half-smile, half-smirk he’d reserved for only Shinichi – and says, “for you, anything.”

“Will you stay with me?” Shinichi doesn’t specify for how long, but Kaito knows he means until the very end. And God forbid, Kaito will find a way to make sure that the end is as far away as the end of time.

Somehow – somehow, he’ll make sure Shinichi lives for the both of them.

“How could I ever leave you,” Kaito says, resting his forehead against Shinichi’s, his hands entangles in Shinichi’s, “not even death could tear me away from you.”

He keeps his hands wrapped around Shinichi’s, even after Hattori arrives. Even after the paramedics arrive, placing Shinichi into one of the ambulances.

Kaito doesn’t let go until he’s certain he’s out of Shinichi’s vision, and the other man can’t see death anymore.

For now, it’s enough.

#I hope you guys enjoy this it took me a few days to write omg #KaiShin #Kuroba Kaito #Kudo Shinichi #Hattori Heiji #DCMK #mywriting #oneshot

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glove23 · 7 years ago

Note

EVENS

2: one of your favorite comments/reviews on this chapter/verse?mmmm for meeting your maker (literally) would be a review i got the other day and it jusg. amuses me so much. “Such a great way for me to start the new year: Reading another of your wondrous chapters! I’m beating myself up because I don’t know who Sirius is going to contact. Andromeda maybe? It make me mad that my knowledge doesn’t allow me to have Harry’s understanding. Oh well.”

4: what time of the day/night do you like to write? mmm literally whenever i get motivation and thats usually around midnight

6: hardest/easiest character to write for?Lily Evans is the hardest, i just feel like i can never get her right. Percy Jackson is the easiest bc ive just known his character for so long its like second nature to me

8: (if you have either or both) how do you manage time with writing, work, school etc.? I DONT DO EITHER AT THE MOMENT and i still dont write as much as i should,,,,while i was in school i feel like i actually wrote more tbh

10: any writing advice?honestly jusg fuckin do it. even if u donf really have any inspiration going in, just write and if it sucks who cares at least ur writing

12: anything you would do to make archiveofourown different/change it?not anything i can think of at the moment, tho im sure theres something

14: what is the arc for this character (redemption, etc.)? JAMES POTTER??? to not be a fuckin bully anymore jesus christ im gonna have some WORDS with the boy

16: do you ever hand write? why or why not?yeah sometimes and its usually bc i cant get to my computer or phone or thag i just feel like actually Writing with a pen

18: any fanmixes you’ve made for this fic/verse?nope

20: what songs were you listening to during this scene/chapter?i almost always either listen to the pride and prejudice 2005 soundtrack or either how to train your dragon ½ soundtracks. i cant listen to music with words while writing i canf concentrate.

22: favorite line/quote/inner monologue from this character?im gonna just keep going with james for these“James nodded. "Yeah, he did, but he could’ve seen them die as a baby, or something. Just because they don’t remember knowing them, doesn’t mean they weren’t there.”“ bc james u right

24: do you outline?nope

26: anything you’re planning to write in your fic that you’re worried readers might like?YEAH BUT I AINT SAYIN cuz thats spoilers and ive been planning this forever

28: any scene/line you wrote that you didn’t expect to write/that surprised you once it was written?the entire fic of mym(l)

30: any backstory questions about characterstheir backstory is literally all 7 hp books

32: what are your stats for this story/verse?(55264 words)Subscriptions: 309 Hits: 8573 Kudos: 387 Comment Threads: 84 Bookmarks: 139

34: a scene/paragraph you wrote that you’re proud ofevery time one of the trio freaks out at hogwarts bc of all the war memories they have associated with there

36: any scenes you wrote that parallel the canon verse?probably

38: do you title your chapters? what’s your favorite chapter title? what’s its significance/why did you choose it?yes and its between Mission Status: Broken and Of Nightmares and Men. mission status is bc theyre on a mission and sad things happen and nightmares is bc harry literally has some bad nightmares

40: chapter you’re most proud of in this verse?all

42: five songs that this character has on their iPod/iPhone?james1- mr brightside by the killers i dont CARE when it came out james potter has this on his ipod2- revelution by the score 3-how to save a life by the fray4- nine in the afternoon by panic! at the disco5-youre gonna go far kid by the offspring

44: have you shared your outline with anyone? if so, what did they think of it?nope

46: story with the most kudos (AO3)?mym(l) only bc its been up for three years

48: a happy future moment you’ve written/have planned for this ship? (will post under read more for spoilers)them being alive (i REFUSE to give spoilers for this part ive kept it secret for too long to give in now)

50: this character’s guilty pleasure?james: idk man he eats ice cream on his broom in midair this dude doesnt care who knows what he likes lbr

THANKS BABE

#glove answers asks #meeting your maker (literally)#i will not apoil things

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andrewuttaro · 6 years ago

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New Look Sabres: 2018-2019 Season Retrospective

We have a lot to talk about, don’t we? Everything and nothing I guess. For some reason the word “Sparks” is sticking with me. No, not the crap backup goaltender for Toronto. Jason Botterill used that word to describe what he saw out of the Buffalo Sabres in the first half of this season. The word will/is/was probably used several times at Locker Room Cleanout. If you’ve read this blog over the second 41 games of the season you probably read along as I struggled with how to say this the right way. On one hand, the second half of the season was so bad it pretty much erases all the good of the first half. On the other hand, every member of the quote unquote core of this team had a career season on their respective lines of the stat sheet. That’s not worth nothing. Of course, the big news we’ve yet to discuss here on the blog is the firing of Phil Housley. It happened. Let’s get the obvious out of the way. Point One: That felt inevitable and anyone who thinks that was the wrong move is quite simply not tuned into the Buffalo Sabres. Point Two: His firing should not be something we mourn because of the number of coaches that have gone through since Lindy Ruff’s firing. That’s a loser’s attitude in the NHL. Point Three: There is no clear timetable on a replacement, but I like Chris Taylor and its an open question what Botterill is thinking. No one is inside his head. Those are the easy points to make and I streamline them there not just for the sake of discussion in the comments but because this is going to be the longest post in New Look Sabres history, and this matter has too many question marks to make a definitive statement. I think the only bottom line we’re going to put in the Housley Era for now is that he didn’t do the right things to get the sparks of this team to catch fire; at least not consistently. We can talk development, deployment and defense all day; but those three D’s and all the other complaints about this team right now are tiny against the big question mark of who will be the next Head Coach of the Buffalo Sabres. The bottom six and defense needs a fair bit of work by Botts in the offseason but the most important job for the next bench boss in Buffalo will be how can you turn the sparks of greatness on this team into a fire? We saw those sparks in dangerously flammable quantities in the first half of the season and sparingly in the back 41 games. This blog’s question to the coaching candidates are simple: Can you start the fire in Buffalo?

I scared my wife. We were still sitting in a Tim Hortons in Detroit when I broke out with a ghoulish cackle at seeing the news Housley was fired. It may be the most welcome news in Sabres Hockey fandom since the win streak, but we shouldn’t celebrate anyone losing their job. Right…. I’m gentleman, I’ll stop with it now. It’s also bittersweet because the season is over. Here we are, it’s over, all 82 games. After having one of the wilder off seasons in recent memory, the Buffalo Sabres entered with minimum expectations of better hockey than the prior season, one of the worst in the history of the organization. The new season got off to an encouraging start getting to above .500 for the first time in a long time before going on a record-tying run of ten straight wins! After that we pretended things were okay in December, or at least I did, and it wasn’t too long into the New Year it became clear things were not exactly going the way that first half had made us hope. After artificially inflating playoff expectations, Buffalo went on an America’s Funniest Home Videos tumble montage that had only been achieved one time before in NHL history. The team that won ten straight missed the playoffs by a sizable margin and was, after all, out of it by the end of February. Eight Straight seasons without a post-season berth and this one stings a bit worse than we’ve seen in recent years. That’s the story of this season. Here we are today to close the chapter on our Buffalo Sabres’ 49th season and we might wonder how to sum it up. In midseason thoughts I summed it up as the Reclamation Season. At that point I was in denial of the historic collapse that was taking place, but I have since woken up. And I’m still calling this season the Reclamation Season. Perhaps the new runner-up title is the Season of Missed Opportunities, but the header remains the same for me: Reclamation. The collapse was embarrassing, particularly for those of us who have non-hockey-watching friends and family who got turned onto the Sabres in the win streak and now ask us what happened. That collapse however doesn’t take away what the win streak meant outside the standings. I don’t say this to be a sappy cop-out: this season has meant more than a collapse and another missed postseason. This season was a reclamation. It was a reclamation of the Buffalo Sabres name. After a half a decade lingering in the basement to the point of perpetuity the proud name of an organization was brought to the top again, for however brief a time, and excited a new generation that scarcely understands the history. We’ve all gotten a taste of grandeur now, some of us for the first time, and there is no going back. Stop rattling off stats about losses in March and shit Rob Ray said before Hurricane Katrina: TAKE PRIDE IN THE GOOD STUFF FOR ONE DAMN MINUTE!

The immediate road ahead is riddled with question marks: the biggest has the first name Jeff. But the future is now. Easter Sunday 2011 was the last time Buffalo saw playoffs at the building now known as Key Bank Center, but November 2018 was the last time Buffalo wore the Sabres close to their hearts. When we say “remember when” with these guys now, there’s a decent chance we’re talking about last year not last decade. It’s progress, even if it was followed by historic failure. Don’t be sad it’s over, be happy it happened. The name of the Sabres has been reclaimed and I think we’re only going up from here and if we aren’t than that is too great a problem to make myself miserable over. Let’s have some joy for a brief, fleeting moment in our harrowing Sabres lives! It’s time for the First Annual New Look Sabres Awards! We saw the team itself give some of these awards away and we’ll see the league pass some of these out in June. Here I am going to attempt to pass out some fan-first awards if you will. What are some awards that Sabres Fans yearn to give to their team? Category One: The Crow-Server. The Crow-Server goes to the player who made certain fans eat crow. They made some of our takes colder than Hamburg on the water. This player was maligned by fans and proved them all wrong. The 2018-2019 New Look Sabres Crow-Server Award goes to… Tage Thompson! You may have thought Alex Nylander’s late season arrival was the biggest bust-turned-darling story of the season but think back to October where we were bemoaning Thompson’s presence on the NHL roster. Shocker, he was pretty decent actually. He’s not all there yet but he is a find that will probably play out this same story again next season! Category Two: The Robin Lehner. The Robin Lehner Award goes to the player who was scape-goated for all the team’s problems fairly or not. This player was in a tight race with another player for this award. The 2018-2019 New Look Sabres Robin Lehner Award goes to… Marco Scandella! Vladimir Sobotka almost took this one and indeed voting was really close but Scandezzy came out on top! Finally, Category Three: The Fan MVP. The Fan MVP Award goes to the player who was not only most valuable to the team but made fans pompous online. This player was a big get and won over the hearts of Sabres fans with his skating style and goal scoring. The 2018-2019 New Look Sabres Fan MVP is… Jeff Skinner! No surprise there, he was a fantastic pick up in every way… PLEASE resign him… like yesterday. OH, PLEASE JEFF, DEAR GOD WHAT DO I NEED TO DO! I CAN’T HANDLE THIS TEAM WITHOUT YOU, DON’T GO! IT’S JUST SNOW! YOU’RE FROM FICKING MARKHAM, ONTARIO YOU BEAUTIFUL ICE MAN!

Let’s talk offseason. To have this talk we have to spend a little more time on the season we just endured. The second half collapse, specifically the way it progressed from February 15th onward is straight up unacceptable. It was that game followed by a four-game losing streak that saw the Sabres crash out of playoff contention. The team, as in the players on the ice, gave up at that point and the last six to seven weeks that followed were the most unwatchable games of the season. It was painfully obvious. It’s kind of a chicken-before-the-egg kind of thing: did the players give up on the coach or did they realize their playoff hopes had died? This connects to the offseason because the collapse can really be split into two parts that each have something to say about how we should approach the summer. Collapse Part One was more on GM Jason Botterill for not tweeking the roster through trades or waiver claims much at all in the months between the end of the win streak and the trade deadline. The Montour trade is the only thin layer of protection from criticism he gets with Skinner still unsigned. There is a solid argument to be made he let the ship sink and did nothing. Collapse Part Two was entirely on Coach Phil Housley and assistant Davis Payne’s non-existent powerplay. While they couldn’t get the team to play .500 after the win streak, they allowed a total unmitigated tank following February 15th. Housley is gone now, like ASAP the day immediately after Game 82. Kudos to Botterill for getting that done quick. We already went over Housley’s exit so let’s talk that Collapse Part One and Jason Botterill’s future, the offseason is all in hands and now he’s got a mandate to give the next guy some better supporting pieces past that top line. This next coaching hire needs to start fires and blast the doors off of Botterill’s office because the clock is ticking, Jason. This season was a failure and the offseason needs to see some stuff fixed. This season was a failure that tasted good at first bite and was nearly poisonous by the end. That will not fly next season. When I said next season needs to see a Playoff berth I’m not saying that as an aspirational statement: if they miss the playoffs next season then clear house. If the Botterill Presser announcing Housley’s firing taught us anything it’s that Botterill isn’t stupid and he’s done feeling anything but winning. That’s technically two things but what I’m saying is he knows what the problems are: they’re the same ones we’ve been complaining about. The defense is an incomplete whole and there is maybe one and a half lines of NHL players in the forward group. Forward depth and defense are the problems. Also goals: less against and more for, please. This club wasn’t as good as ten straight wins, but they aren’t bad enough to not consistently be in the mix by now. Don’t lower the expectations because of the impending coaching change: This team should be in the 90-point range at the end of the season from now on until Jack Eichel and Rasmus Dahlin retires. There are enough good pieces for that and the supporting cast is coming; and we really ought not to settle for less.

That was a long meandering road to talk offseason. Let’s talk offseason. For one, signing Skinner is the number one priority. It looks likely he’ll test free agency now even though Botterill insists they’ve never stopped hammering out a deal. If Skinner walks then Jason Botterill has just about nothing going for him. Whether or not Skinner signs, Botts needs to get busier than a Mighty Taco on 4/20. Trading away Rasmus Ristolainen is probably a 50/50 chance at this point, and we can talk about how the defense needs more help not less right now but Risto isn’t getting any better. I tend to agree you have to sell an asset high while you can still sell high. Trade out our tough boy for a second line center and hopefully some other pieces that help now. And if you get spare parts you better be certain they aren’t Patrik Berglund reruns (God speed to Berglund for a healthy future). Second line center is a smart move not just to give Casey Mittelstadt some more time to grow but also to solidify center depth given a couple decent fourth line options coming down the pipeline. If you can ship out any three of Johan Larsson, Zemgus Girgensons, Vladimir Sabotka, and Marco Scandella it would be a massive victory. There is enough talent to fill those roles, especially if you get a second line center via trade or free agency. Assuming Skinner signs and Alex Nylander has actually finally arrived I think you need to have a rock-solid top six by the start of Training Camp. Defenseman, oh yeah and some down-pairing defenseman would be great. Next season simply cannot be another development year if that’s even what you want to call this year given Phil Housley’s awful deployment choices and a simply atrocious goal differential. Did I mention the Fail Army style second half tumble down the standings? Oh yeah, I got that.

Draft strategy this year is interesting: two first round picks this year and one is likely to be top five or damn close. We learned in the 2016 Draft that you always have to take the best available unless you are really dying for something. It’s funny that I just praised Alex Nylander only to say that but look at those other picks. HOT DAMN. Anyway, there maybe only three or four players this Draft who jump right into the NHL. If you get into the top five, assuming Jack Hughes and Kaapo Kakko are off the board, you can’t go wrong with one of the centers (Dylan Cozens and Trevor Zegras) or right wing Vasily Podkolzin. Immediate help isn’t coming from any of those guys, but beggars can’t be choosers. The highest projected defenseman, Bowen Byram of WHL Vancouver, may end up being the highest ranked guy available if the Sabres pick fifth like they’re set up to right now. Byram would be a fantastic pickup (assuming Botterill can get over his distrust of WHL prospects) but he’s not the partner for Rasmus Dahlin we’re looking for. Sidebar: let’s not depend on a lottery ball bouncing the right way for any hope going into next season. This is a sports team not a casino. The other Sabres first round pick is truly a wildcard as there is a weird drop off in this Draft. However, if Cam York or Cole Caufield drop to that pick you better take one of them. Those guys are my 2019 Draft crushes. Free Agency on the other hand is a dangerous game the Sabres have been burned on a couple times in recent memory. Kevin Hayes in Winnipeg jumps out as that second line center we need; while I dream of Mats Zuccarello and Ryan Dzingel for other roles, but those options seem far-fetched. There are more than a couple guys worth pursuing who currently wear Lightning jerseys but barring sending Ristolainen to Tampa I don’t see those moves happening without an offer sheet and that’s a discussion I don’t want to have until the cat is out of the bag. You may have heard there is a scenario where Jonathan Huberdeau comes to Buffalo, maybe in a Ristolainen trade. That goes a long way in solidifying the top six like I mentioned earlier. While we’re talking kind of distant possibilities, if Ryan Nugent-Hopkins is a piece coming to Buffalo that also solidifies a top six that makes the playoffs in 2020. It feels weird expecting a crazy trade out of Edmonton now that Peter Chiarelli isn’t there anymore, but I don’t know if much in that Front Office is very different in my most honest opinion. It’s hard to imagine a big offseason compared to 2018 but we may need one to finally go to the postseason in 2020.

I said this would be the end-of-season bonanza and with the way this season ended it feels difficult to wrap up. For one last time this season I will say like, comment and share this with your friends. You guys are what makes this blog feel worth it. If you were with me from the start you’ve watched this thing change and grow since June of last year when I started a blog with a funny name and a faint hope the Sabres wouldn’t be total trash. My hope was satisfied for a little while. Unless some real profound garbage unfolds in the offseason or God forbid my life circumstances change unexpectedly I will be back at it again next season, starting later this week with 2019 Playoffs according to the Sabres. Yeah, it sounds weird to have Sabres and playoffs in the same sentence but bear with me and it will be fun. That’s probably up Wednesday, we’ll see. That post will officially kick off the 2019-2020 New Look Sabres season and feature a slightly new look. That is what I want to show you next. Below this paragraph, assuming this post went up properly, you will see the New Look Sabres 2019-2020 thumbnail image. It’s a little sleeker and more fun because when you get right down to it this past season’s logo was really just a color swapped normal logo. This one obviously takes the name of the blog a little more literally. I hope you enjoy it. I always end these posts with thanks for reading. I will do that again but let me just add some more thanks: thank you for reading. Thank you for reading along on this journey through better or worst with the Buffalo Sabres and Rochester Americans. Thank you for reading through all the typos and weird metaphors. Thank you for bearing with me on the most intensive blog I’ve ever written. 82 games are a lot but when you think about back-to-back nights and road trips you can imagine how chaotic writing these could get. I’ve written up some of these games at my in-laws, while in hotels, in the wee hours of the morning and so on. It’s been fun. I don’t regret a minute of it and in spite of how tough the team has been to us; I still can’t wait for a New Look Squad next season. In case you missed it, I am a relentless optimist. No matter what happens if you got anything that made your Sabres fandom more enjoyable in this blog than it’s all the victory I need as a blogger. I hope we can keep sharing this crazy life of being Sabres fans for seasons to come. In the meantime, Let’s Go Buffalo! Let’s Go Rochester! Especially Rochester, they got a Cup to win!

Thanks for reading.

P.S. I know it’s weird that I’m ending the season only to put up another post in a few days and then take a couple months off. Blame the Sabres: if they make the playoffs I don’t write “Playoffs according to the Sabres”. But here we are again; hopefully that helps a little bit… well that and the Rochester Americans hopping on the postseason warpath!

#buffalo sabres #hockey #blog #nhl

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hazelandglasz · 8 years ago

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Once Every Blue Moon

Based on this glorious idea, my humble present for Jay’s birthday (yes it was yesterday but it still counts, right?)

Santana can count the rare appearances of the Drunkus Hummelus on the fingers of one hand.

But she can recount them all with crystal clear clarity, for each one of them is a blessing.

Don’t get her wrong, she loves Kurt like a brother from another mother.

But drunk Kurt? He’s her favorite.

Once she gets some alcohol in his system, Kurt Hummel’s defensive walls crumble like nachos and he’s (almost) more outgoing than her.

Especially when a certain old-fashioned cutie is in the vicinity.

Oh, to observe Kurt being enamored with Blaine like they’re only just meeting all over again is almost enough to make her tear up--thank God Mercedes always make her stop drinking when Blaine joins the party. Otherwise Santana would be a snotty sobbing mess and nobody wants to see that.

(Well.

Mercedes doesn’t seem to mind any of the different states Santana gets herself into sometimes.

Then again Mercedes is a godsend and Santana doesn’t quite know what she did in her past lives to deserve her evil angel, but kudos to her Karma)

Anyway.

When Blaine arrives, Kurt always react in the same fashion : a gasp, a shot down, and a flirt.

The way he flirts is the most entertaining part, as far as Santana is concerned.

So far she has witnessed (and recorded. For the future children the couple will have. What’s a good aunt if not a provider of shameful memories of the parental unit) :

bad puns

So bad.

Even Sam was appalled and that’s saying something.

movie quotes

The Godfather.

Of all movies, Kurt had to quote the mother effin’ Godfather to “seduce” his husband.

And it worked.

(“Let me make you an offer you can’t refuse”, ha! Santana doesn’t want to know what exactly he whispered in Blaine’s ear, but she has a hunch it didn’t involve a dead horse’s head.

Maybe another horse body part, and a very much alive one?

… Oh Lord.

Brain bleach please).

straight up PDA

Santana was so shocked to see Kurt literally throwing himself at Blaine, pressing his body against Blaine’s back and pulling him closer, she forgot to record it.

The one time.

a striptease

What a night to remember.

One, because she didn’t expect McClumsy over there to get out of his pants without face planting, and two, because Blaine literally had a nosebleed.

Ah, good times.

But tonight seems to be a combo of Santana’s favorite, a best of Drunk Kurt On The Prowl, if you will, and she’s not missing one bit of it.

Blaine was late to the party, but he was already vibrating with energy and excitement when he crossed the threshold of the apartment.

Which, can you guess it, triggered all of Kurt’s .. hunting senses.

That is Santana’s only plausible explanation for the scene unfolding before her very eyes.

Kurt has a drink precariously dangling from his fingers, his other hand cupping the back of Blaine’s neck. His fingers are either caressing Blaine’s ear or playing with the loose curls at his nape, and it seems to hypnotize Blaine.

Kurt leans closer, whispering in the aforementioned ear, and though the light is barely present, Santana can see Blaine blushing from her chosen seat.

“Having fun?”

“Ha!”

How did Mercedes manage to sneak on her?!

She laughs, in any case, her hand cupping Santana’s knee in comfort. “Sorry,” she says, sounding anything but, “I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to--”

“Turn me into a ghost?!”

“Surprise you.”

Santana’s heart is beating faster for a completely different reason now, and she covers Mercedes’ hand with her own. “You always surprise me.”

The words are out of her mouth before she can stop herself, and she totally, completely, 100%-ly, blames the strength of the Cosmos Kurt has been making by the liter.

“Oh, you big softie,” Mercedes purrs, pulling Santana down to peck her lips and leave a trace of black lipstick in her wake.

“Shush,” Santana mutters, putting the cocktail glass away before she starts the waterworks. “You’re making me miss the show.”

“The show?”

“Drunk Kurt Mambo Number Five.”

Mercedes’ boisterous laugh rings in the apartment, and it even pulls Blaine out of his Kurt-induced trance.

Which brings an adorable pout on Kurt’s face, even as he tries to hide it in the bottom of his glass and hiccups in disarray.

Blaine turns back to him and pulls him close, hands on the lowest part of his back--ooh sneaky, Santana gives it a 8.2--as he whispers in Kurt’s ear.

Kurt straightens up immediately, eyes and smile wide, before lifting Blaine over his shoulder in a fireman carry.

“Kurt, put me down, we can walk to the room!”

“No time!”

The rest of the conversation is drowned out by the music and the closed door, but Santana doesn’t need to hear it.

The foreplay, yes, she’s interested.

The gay sex, not rea--okay, she can be interested in watching those two get at it, but only if the mood strikes right.

And right now, the mood leans closer to her kneeling between her angel’s legs and take her back to Heaven.

(Yes, Drunk Santana is weepy, but she’s also a cheesy romantic.

Shush.)

#tacogrande #sometimes i write #klaine #sancedes #drunken behavior #cracky fluff

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moonshine2sunshine · 8 years ago

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The Corpses Began Stacking Up Around Me...* In plain English, the corpses began stacking up around me. *****After several relapses, followed by almost a dozen years of continuous sobriety, I decided to take an early retirement, still working part-time, however. The year previous, a good half-dozen recovery group members, or a friend or relative (son, daughter, aunt, uncle, etc.) of a member, died as a direct result of alcoholism and/or addiction.The stigma of addiction would leave their deaths unattributed to substance abuse in their obituaries. But stigma or no, these premature deaths were the impetus of my decision to enjoy to the fullest whatever life I have left. These deaths, progressively mounting, were the deciding factor. I questioned when my time would come and would I, truly, wish to still be wanting to grind away 40 hours a week at a menial job. The answer, for me, was a resounding no.This whole scenario is one of the consequences of living in recovery. Suffering through the deaths directly or indirectly caused by substance abuse is inevitable. But the deaths piled up too hard and fast for me to do anything but retire as best I could, continuing to work part-time. "You can't take it with you" became poignant and pressing.Money meant nothing to me in my addiction. A job was for money and money was for substance acquisition and use.Money means nothing to me in my recovery, as well. In a far different way. I want another day sober to be enjoyed as fully as possible in my semi-retirement. Money can't buy that.*****When I first got sober at the age of 46, I spent my first sober year as a bartender. Bigger men than I may be able to sustain their sobriety beyond one year pouring drinks for a living, so, kudos to them. But in retrospect, I probably learned more in that one year sober behind the bar than I did in the 30 years I spent drunk glued to a bar stool on the other side of the bar. I clearly saw sober in the drunken behavior of others what I failed to see clouded by alcohol in my drinking life. I wouldn't recommend a job as a bartender to anyone fresh out of a detox or rehab, but it was my way of crawling before I could walk... sober. *****I remember one or two funerals I attended prior to that first sober period. During my drunken days, I can remember post-burial luncheons attended by bar buddies. Always someone would suggest we celebrate the death that day in drink and all the regulars' misty-eyed memorials ("He would have wanted us to drink to celebrate his life," etc.) would inevitably find me as drunk or a little bit drunker than any other string of days.My one-year sober bartending experience gave me a different perspective on the dead and dying from addiction than I had experienced occasionally in all those years prior. Morris may be the best example. If I'd been drinking, I'm sure I'd have experienced his degradation by disease most differently.Here's how I later described it:*****"One regular, Morris, had a distended stomach from alcohol-induced liver disease. His liver bled into his body, or so it seemed from his bloated belly. I don’t know. I just know that his liver was destroying him and his abdomen was filled with blood. Internal bleeding. Dying. A sick liver sending ammonia through the blood and to the brain as a byproduct of its dysfunction, causing him personality disorders. I'm not a doctor. I don't know the exact details. I just know what I saw in Morris’s case. An Internet search later confirmed this basic assumption of the ammonia/alcoholic/liver disease connection. What a strange and terrible sight was the result of his liver disease, his alcoholism and his extreme cocaine use. Alcoholic insanity. Ammonia insanity. I breathe in now, thinking about Morris and I sigh and look down, bewildered, just as he did time and again before he disappeared from the wilderness slash unreality of the bar. I can only picture him crawling away into some alternate reality to die, an aging Eskimo in ice, dying. Insane, then simply dead."*****Social drinkers may have a hard time understanding how, after all that (I and any and many and most addicts and alcoholics have witnessed death or near-death in the extreme during our addictions), how could we relapse? Ever. How?I was a die-hard drinker and bad habits die hard.That's funny and sad. But true. 30 years of daily drinking, in my case, would not result in instant sobriety with blue birds flying over picket fences carrying banners in blue and gold.That would be a cheap chirp.Sobriety and a recovery life-style would take time, love, patience and connection, renewed connection with a world I'd left in my teens.As the social disgrace surrounding stigma continues to dissipate, greater and greater numbers of social drinkers will begin to understand and change their thoughts and behaviors regarding substance abusers. The laws are changing and will continue to change.*****Viktor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor, said that "To live is to suffer. To survive is to find meaning in suffering." To paraphrase from my book, there was art produced in concentration camps, but their creation was not attributable to the horrendous circumstances found there, rather, despite them. On the most subtle and rudimentary level, my having survived years of addiction has provided me fuller meaning in recovery than my life absent of those conditions could have provided me. The balance of my life will, hopefully, be lived in balance, centered, not in the extreme highs and lows that addiction almost by definition dispensed. Suffering has its rewards.Ouch!That hurts! Morris. Ammonia. Dead.That's where this writing today started for me. It is not negative. Please do not take it so. Life is so good sober and I am grateful today.Stigma is dying.Its obituary is being written for all the world to see.Soon... ******This post originally appeared in edited form as "Morris. Ammonia. Dead. (But the Stigma is Not Dead)" in Addicted Minds, linked here:http://www.addictedminds.com/morris-ammonia-dead-stigma-not-dead/(Here is the link to the Addicted Minds homepage. Please check out this important Recovery Resource):http://www.addictedminds.com*****"Nothing matters more than that we remain sober because when we remain sober everything matters more."*****Passages in quotes are excerpted from All Drinking Aside: http://amzn.to/1bX6JyORecovery Tweets: http://twitter.com/JimAnders4170+ Recovery Posts: https://goo.gl/fmzt9b

#Alcoholism Addiction Recovery

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