#*forces myself to stop writing and post it*

[gabriel-seths-pr-assistant]

I do see some of the point about the tradewife talk... But I also think that we are kinda forgetting a pretty important part of the situation here: those tradwife fantasy are literally just classic romance novel scenario.

We have to remember that Harlequin romance novel, and similar things, are the vast, VAST majority of things that afab people read. And it has been the case for literally generation. The Astarte being a big scary dude that take care of the woman and impregnate her is really no different than a "viking kidnap you and make you his wife" or a "vampire trick and seduce you". Those fantasy coexist with the fact that noncon is the most common "kink" for afab: it's exploring all the fear and anxiety of rape culture and patriarchie. Some people do so with writing power fantasy, while other write it about them being happy in that systhem, being happy about having the choice of pregnancy and sex being taken away from them. All of that is about control, about being able to stop by simply not reading anymore.

So yeah, while it is not for us (the queer and marginalised, and I AM putting myself into that category, I don't even like reader insert!), I will absolutely defend their right to create that stuff. It literally is just a different kind of enjoying the franchise, no different that when cishet dude write 200k epic bolter porn power fantasy, wich there are a LOT MORE than any queer warhammer fanfic. We cannot gatekeep fandom, we cannot act like we queer have the one and only true way of creating fancontent. I always advocate for understanding and kindness in fandom, and this trend of shitting on other people (and sometime it *is* shitting on them, it's not just polite talk) in the warhammer fandom is very disapointing.

I disagree with your premise that tradwife fantasies are identical to classic romance novel scenarios. If anything, romance and bodice-ripper heroines align more closely with Mary Sues.

Classic romance novels typically center a heroine who starts out powerless or disadvantaged in terms of her class, wealth, or social status. Her narrative arc revolves around gaining personal empowerment through love: finding a partner who recognises her true worth and asserting her own desires. Even when the fantasy involves ravishment or protection (the "strong alpha male" trope), the heroine is often the transformative force in the relationship, reshaping the hero or the dynamics between them. She is a character in motion — physically (being abducted by pirates, moving to a widowed duke's castle to serve as governess, running away from the arranged marriage her father intends for her) and thematically, moving towards agency, voice, and choice, even if her journey is framed within a romantic story. Her victory is the relationship itself, achieved on her terms.

Tradwife fantasies, by contrast, focus on giving up personal agency in exchange for security, love, and approval. As I mentioned in a previous post, tradwife characters often start out powerful (Yvraine being one example) and then choose (or "choose") to settle into a predefined submissive role where domesticity, nurturing, and submission are the ends, not just the means. The tradwife fantasy valorises passivity and dependency as virtues — the tradwife character is admired because she is static: she stays home, serves her husband, raises children, and submits. Unlike romance heroines, who usually end their stories in a better social position or with greater personal empowerment, tradwife characters often end out worse (from a contemporary feminist perspective).

But the most telling difference between romance/bodice-ripper fantasies and tradwife fantasies lies in their detractors.

Romance and bodice-ripper stories have long been dismissed and mocked by cishet men as fantasies written by "unfulfilled women," just like Mary Sues are written by "silly fangirls."

Tradwife archetypes are, to a significant extent, embraced by cishet men. The meme of Yvraine being Guilliman's "Eldar waifu" started in male-dominated fan spaces on platforms like 4chan and Reddit.

It's easy to see the difference. Romance and bodice-ripper heroines typically stand in opposition to patriarchal ideals, disobeying societal and parental restrictions to pursue "forbidden" relationships or giving in to passion, especially at a time when "good girls" were taught to suppress sexual or ambitious desires. Tradwife heroines, on the other hand, uphold patriarchal ideals. These two things are not the same.

A few other points I'd like to address:

Some people [explore "all the fear and anxiety of rape culture and patriarchie"] with writing power fantasy, while other write it about them being happy in that systhem, being happy about having the choice of pregnancy and sex being taken away from them.

No one should EVER have the choice of pregnancy and sex taken away from them for any reason. ANY reason. Even if it "makes them happy" (does it really make them happy or are they just conditioned and expected to believe it does?).

It's entirely possible to write power-exchange/noncon/rape culture fantasies that are not tradwifey, or which examine the tradwife trope in light of the broader political and cultural context.

I will absolutely defend their right to create that stuff.

As I have stated in previous posts, I'm fundamentally opposed to censorship in fandom myself. People are free to create whatever they want.

However, that doesn't mean we can't talk about contemporary fandom trends and how they either support or challenge dominant heteronormative culture.

It literally is just a different kind of enjoying the franchise, no different that when cishet dude write 200k epic bolter porn power fantasy

To quote myself again, the issue is that tradwife content actively alienates (some) marginalised fans. Tradwife narratives can feel like microaggressions — they are conservative heteronormative gender roles in a new hat, presenting female passivity, domesticity, and loss of agency as aspirational.

Once tradwife content gains ground in a fandom space, it crowds out other forms of self-expression. Have you heard the saying, "if you invite both wolves and sheep, you will only get wolves"? I have seen fandom spaces welcome tradwife content in the spirit of being open to all shipping and all voices — and marginalised fans started trickling away. Not dramatically, not slamming the door, just quietly losing interest and eventually disengaging.

Bolter porn has not, in my experience, had the same effect.

We cannot gatekeep fandom

No one is gatekeeping fandom. Gatekeeping is when someone won't let others into the house. Tradwife content creators are already in the house — on AO3, on discord, on tumblr. No gate is being kept from them. On the contrary, other people are leaving the party because they no longer feel comfortable with the vibe.

What's happening right now is that some of us are having conversations about our experiences and examining the tradwife character archetype from feminist and literary analysis perspectives to articulate why the trope rubs us the wrong way.

I understand that this kind of academic discourse can feel like a vivisection to those fans who do find comfort and empowerment in depictions of traditional gender roles.

But this kind of meta-discourse is necessary to keep a fandom healthy and viable — and I welcome tradwife content creators to share why they enjoy this trope as well, to get the full picture. ❤

[bomberqueen17]

smorkles

So anyway. I don't remember when I last posted about anything and I'm not going to go look it up.

I don't start back at the farm until May 13th. My cabin has no electricity currently but there is apparently a trench being dug, and it will contain both a real electrical line (not a duct-taped extension cord!) and a water line??? of some kind??? with actual potable water??? sounds fake but ok.

but I am going to, not quite the farm, this week, leaving tomorrow. And i am going to stay with my middle-little sister. Because her housemate moved out, and her house needs some renovations, and now she's thinking she needs to sell that house and downsize to a smaller one, and that's all fine but like the main thing she needs to do is to get rid of like 3/4 of the objects she owns, and i say this from a place of I also have to get rid of like 3/4 of the objects I own and I dont' know how to do it or how to make her do it either and hate the entire concept of the process. But hey. There it is.

I am bringing her a kitchen table and a whole-ass tree that was rescued from dude's work office but is too tall for our ceilings. she has higher ceilings. we'll see how this goes.

i feel like i should be sort of retrospecting on what i did this off-season. right? like my life is in two annual chunks: farm work season, and not farm work season. Farm work season is usually April-ish through the beginning of December. And then since the beginning of December I've been doing Not Farm Work and I have no idea if I've achieved any of those goals. Did I set goals? IDK.

I did want to get my ADHD shit sorted out. So I started seeing a therapist. And she's admitted she's like, for short-term stuff, and needs to get me passed along to more of a specialist type person maybe. IDK. I've been told to form habits, told to buy a notebook to turn my life around with, and in other doses been fed things that i have largely seen before because i have been living like this for like, 40 years.

anyway. and also i tried all the basic meds, everything's "here try this and see what it does" dosages have given me negative side effects and no good effects, so if I want to continue trying to medicate myself I need to actually have a psychiatrist who I can ask questions of and get a response faster than two weeks. (That's how long it took to hear back on whether I could stop taking atomoxetine when it started giving me really bad anhedonia. Thankfully i had already figured that out on my own twelve days before, because i could not have lived like that for those twelve additional days, it was really bad. also he was like "and discontinue wellbutrin" my friend i discontinued wellbutrin in 2014 so i'm not sure who this was addressed to.)

but. yesterday's conversation, the therapist was going on about different things-- I had been given a rundown by a friend about the different types of behavioral therapy that existed, and how some of those might be more useful in trying to make concrete improvements in one's life, and my person was like "the thing is most of those are just fancy names for stuff you've largely already encountered so there is not going to be a magic technique that fixes you" and it's like

the thing is when have i ever said "find magic technique/drug that fixes me" is a therapy goal? That's not my goal. My goal is explicitly "figure out better coping mechanisms than what I have because brute-forcing normality for as long as I can and then feeling real shitty when I can't anymore isn't very sustainable", and no, I don't think that ACT or DBT is going to magically fix me, but if I can find more tools through a coordinated approach, wouldn't that be good?

What i can say is that so far using a lot of CBT-lite language and making lists has actually given me a borderline-pathological avoidance of my Special Notebook, in which i can no longer write but i do still carry it everywhere like a talisman (it's very useful. not), so I'm writing essays on discarded envelopes because I can't even use The Good Scrap Paper for this, when I tell you I've scarred myself trying to figure out how to make a fucking to-do list I'm not exaggerating.

So I have an essay written on an envelope from which i'm trying to extract, like, a thematic through-line to guide me in what to do next, and then a bunch of witterings in a discord convo, and I wrote a list of things I want to bring, and I did go move some furniture just now so I can get that table out of my house at some point.

Anyway, though, mid-conversation, the therapist was like, "have you ever heard of smorkles?" and i was like "i'm -- what? smorkles?" and she was excited and was like "oh this one will be so good for you!" and i was like "Sporkles? Smorkles? I'm not sure i"m hearing you, can you spell that" and she proceeded to spell out the word "smart" which

yes I do know about SMART goals actually, they are a management technique from the 80s that my dude uses extensively in his job as a staff engineer (which is like management but not quite) in his very corporate job at a very large software company, and he had laid out the criteria for me very earnestly once on a walk. so i do in fact know about them but not how to really apply that to my own life, and would need to figure out how to break that down, and i need a lot more steps than 'find a pen' and 'buy The Notebook That's Gonna Turn Your Life Around' to make that work.

but anyway.

i've decided now that smorkles are my new technique. and yes also smart goals but I think I'm going to call it "smorkles" because then I can make memes about my commitment to smorkle motion etc.

i need to figure out what SMORKLE is an anagram for. er, not anagram. the other thing.

[laconchadetumadre]

Sorry to rant but

I actually liked kyman when i started getting into South Park because of their dynamic and Cartman's obvious obsession with kyle. I'm a big fan of enemies to lovers too, so Kyman checked all the boxes for me.

However, Gingercow changed my perspective of them. I remember finding this episode in a "Kyman centered episodes" list. I only made it up until the first scene where Cartman farts on Kyle before pausing and just staring at a wall for some time. I didn't finish it, but that scene alone made me so... uncomfortable.

I'm only sharing my first impression of the episode (and i doubt this was even intended on Matt and Trey's part) but it felt like a rape allegory. It felt like Kyle was being raped by Cartman and i couldnt stand to watch it. It wasnt just because of the literal grossness of the scene, but the fact that it was Kyle being forced to submit.

At first, i felt like maybe Matt and Trey were trying to shut down Kyman shippers, so i decided to pretend that the episode didn't happen. I was aware that it had been selected by a shipper as a "Kyman" episode, but i thought it was probably a joke or just a one-time thing, no biggie.

Then the Post Covid specials dropped and a good portion of Kyman shippers blamed Kyle and were upset at him for Cartman's ending. The fact that so many posts dunking on kyle were particularly popular with kyman shippers only made me relate less and less to them. Atp i felt like most kyman shippers only cared about cartman.

After that i couldnt stop noticing how unfair they were to kyle, always expecting him to look out for cartman, to put up with his bullshit while also putting up a fight (to keep up the "sexual tension", ugh) but then calling him bitchy for his reactions to being harassed or saying he has anger issues. I felt like my interpretation of his character was completely different from the majority of Kyman shippers, so i distanced myself from their community and the fandom for a while.

The appeal of kyman to me was that, if cartman were to have a crush on kyle, it kinda gave kyle a little power over him. However, most kyman shippers seem to interpret their relationship similarly to hannigram or other toxic relationships that are romanticized. So, in their eyes, kyle should embrace cartman as he is, cause that's a metaphor for idk homosexuality and eroticisim or something.

All that is fine, really, I fucking love hannigram but thats because they are usually written in a way that empowers will (the victim) over hannibal (the aggressor). They still explore will's "darker" side without trying to justify all the shit hanni puts him through. And, on top of that, unlike kyman, hannibal and will are MEANT to be seen this way. They were written to be interpreted as a toxic romantic couple. Kyle and Cartman, on the other hand, are meant to be comedic and entertaining only.

Im not saying fanon doesnt have the right to exist, but it does bother me when the fandom acts entitled towards the canon. As in, when fans think they could write the story better than the original author. This is particularly annoying with kyman shippers because, as i have explained, they cant even grasp the concept that cartman. wont. change. Not for kyle or anybody else (not even heidi OR YENTL).

just to wrap things up, i obviously do not support or condone any kind of harassment towards kyman shippers and if anybody has comitted or threatened violent actions on them solely for fan wars genuenly get off the internet and go see a therapist. im also aware some kyman shippers follow me and im ok with that! i like kyman fanarts sometimes but i just wanted to share my personal reasons as to why i distance myself from this part of the fandom.

TLDR;

kyman is bad because it is abusive and extremely ooc and kyman shippers are wrong for acting entitled and thinking they know cartman and kyle better than mattrey and the rest of the fandom when they, in fact, do not.  also, dont harass anybody over ships.

I need someone to genuinely explain to me why kyman is bad. I don't ship it a lot or anything but sometimes I like the thought of it ig? like oh yeah a healthy relationship between the two would be kinda neat yk? I 100% agree with the people who say an abusive/ unhealthy relationship between them is gross and proship, but I can genuinely see them being happy together. when they're teens ofc bc cartman obviously has some maturing to do. Just take a look at ass burgers or the end of obesity. they care about each other.

[marclef]

today's a special day.... in celebration of my 800 Follower milestone, i've decided to finally share some writing with everyone! i've... never been brave enough to share my writing online, besides a few very close friends, so i do hope you enjoy it!

but, it's a little backstory stuff with Peppino, Fake Peppino, and Eyhm! a Chef and a Kitten's first meeting with a strange creature... i hope everything goes well...

(i am nowhere near brave enough to ever make an ao3 account... a Google Drive link will have to do 😅

and some EXCEPTIONAL art the wonderful @pizzabox-box made based on it!!! (and if you aren't already following them, you need to do so NOW!!! 👇)

[chocolateteapotsvis]

Happy @halbarrysecretsanta to @bitchyblkqueer!

Hal’s been through a lot, and left almost as much behind. He’d much rather the past stay in the past, but as usual, the universe has other ideas. Something magical’s taken an interest in Helen. Hal's not letting anything happen to his niece, not when they're finally building a relationship outside of a time in in their past Hal knows they'd rather both forget. So he's bringing in Barry, despite things between them being, well…

Not the best conditions for a family holiday mall visit.

[itsmistyeyedbi]

Here's a long snippet to satiate the part of me that wants to get this fic done and posted right now when that is not plausible lol.

[cattysapien]

this might be a hard pill to swallow. but coming from someone who just went on a really long hiatus from drawing and had a several years-long journey of rediscovering my love for art… I think some of u online artists need to just take a break.

like— the amount of times I see people stressing about everything they post and beating themselves up for not being creative as they wish they were is insane. mama! you are burnt out! your mind and body are begging for a break. that’s why it feels taxing to create. that’s why validation isn’t cutting it anymore. that’s why you’re feeling doomed. the more you avoid taking a break and keep pushing yourself, the tougher the recovery process will be.

take. a. break!!!!!!!!!

[red-hood-vigilante]

if you stopped watching spn or continued watching just to finish the series (but did so with disdain or with little to no attachment to what was going on) - what was the moment/storyline/character/something that made you start losing the plot? for me the first moment of disconnect was in 6.06 when sam says 'you're right there's something wrong with me, i need help' to dean who proceeds to beat him unconscious and it's not until the next episode they find out sam's soul is gone and dean does not make amends in any way for beating sam unconscious without grounds

[h0neyfreak]

so I’ve discovered a great passion for contemporary romance. unfortunately 90% of them are either written like I’m a complete moron or were edited by someone who lacks all respect for the genre. which means I of course am now 25k words into a manuscript and I keep rereading it and then getting to the part where I have to write more and turning into surprised pikachu.

[tenderhooked]

[deeply breathes into my hands] the carmy has to stay at donna’s house for a few weeks while she recovers from a fractured arm fic almost has a finished first chapter. that is *checks notes* 11k words. booyah

[divinekangaroo]

falling - pettiot - Peaky Blinders (TV) [Archive of Our Own]

PART ONE - DAY ONE

Ch 1 | Ch 2 | Ch 3 | Ch 4 | Ch 5 | Ch 6 | Ch 7 | Ch 8 | Ch 9

PART TWO - MONTH ONE (Or Maybe Month Two, Or Three)

Ch 10 | Ch 11 | Ch 12 | Ch 13 | Ch 14 | Ch 15 | Ch 16 | Ch 17 | Ch 18

PART THREE - YEAR ONE (Or So)

Ch 19 | Ch 20 | Ch 21 | Ch 22 | Ch 23 | Ch 24 | ??

A Modern AU take on Tommy's immediate return from military service, and the period between his demobilisation and the start of S1.

(Tags shall be progressively updated)

.

Tommy Shelby/Lizzie Stark, Tommy Shelby/Freddie Thorne, Arthur Shelby, Polly Grey, Ada Shelby, John Shelby, Johnny Dogs, Various Lees, John Shelby's Children, Mr Zhang, Mai Zhang (S1E1 Red Dust Girl), Sergeant Moss, Jeremiah Jesus | Alternative Universe, Modern AU (ish), more tags at the link

[kyoosoup]

rating things people have told me about my ADHD diagnosis

mostly because I'm bored

me: "I got diagnosed with ADHD!"

friend: "I thought you were gonna say you had something serious, like autism"

0/10

this is a paraphrase but yes I was told something very similar to this pretty soon after getting my diagnosis. unfortunately it has also stuck with me and made me sometimes feel like ADHD isn't as serious as it is. I know a lot of people will compare ADHD and Autism, often saying that Autism is "worse" or something. But they are two different struggles and shouldn't be compared. Not to mention that a lot of people with one tend to have the other as well.

me, to my dad: "I have ADHD, and it's genetic, so there's a high chance you have it too"

my dad: "oh, I know I have it"

3/10

also a paraphrase but this one annoyed me. you're telling me you KNEW you had ADHD and didn't think hey maybe my kid who has been struggling in school for half her life would want to know that was a possibility??? Dawg.

my mom, driving me home from the therapist office after I had gotten officially diagnosed: "this label doesn't have to define you, you don't have to feel bad about it"

3/10

paraphrase (I didn't write down our spoken conversations). Dude if my mom was paying attention she would've seen that I was HAPPY and RELIEVED about my diagnosis. Suddenly years of feeling stupid, worthless, lazy, like I wasn't trying my best- were all explained! I literally had a disability this whole time woops. And yeah so my mom was seeing this as a bad thing?? or something. it kinda crashed my mood and I had to explain that yeah I was actually glad to have the diagnosis.

my friend, who has diagnosed adhd, during my ADHD assessment: "Stands outside with party poppers. Welcome to the club! /j"

10/10

thought I'd throw a few nicer things in here. All my friends have been super supportive of me ever since I got my diagnosis and even in the research process. shout out to all my neurodivergent friends that made me aware that ADHD was a possibility :D

Neurodivergent people tend to stick together and peer reviewing is quite real

Also to the friend who bought an ADHD book to understand better you win 11/10

[3dcontrolpad]

🥲

[ranger-kellyn]

i always see posts about not having enough inspiration for creative projects, but my problem is i have quite literally too much inspiration. like. i'm not saying it to be Quirky&Cute when i say i have over 100 WIPs just sitting on the back-burner. i mean i am haunted by the countless stories my brain has in rotation, all while knowing i do not have nearly enough time to ever actually write all of what i want to write. right now my biggest struggle is getting my brain to actually decide what it wants to work on. no matter what story i go into, my brain then goes "i wish i was working on [other project] :\" and so then i go to that other project, and my fucking brain is like "no, actually, i don't want to work on this one, i want to work on OTHER project" and it's just an endless loop and AHHHHHHH

[morlock-holmes]

To quote myself, imagine if you bought a pocket calculator at the store in 1980, and then in 1981 Texas Instruments sent you a letter saying, "The terms of use for our calculator have changed, in order to use the calculator you agree to waive any right to a jury trial or class action suit against Texas Instruments or any of its parents or subsidiaries. Continued use of the calculator constituted a binding agreement to these terms. If you do not agree you must immediately stop all use of your pocket calculator. No refund will be provided."

Seriously, writing that out really made it strike me even more how utterly abusive the modern age is to consumers.

The EULA, or End User License Agreement is a binding contract which one party may unilaterally change at any time for any reason and in any way they choose; the counterparty may not negotiate or change the terms of the contract and their only remedy in the case of changes that they don't like is to withdraw entirely from the contract.

Such contracts govern all use of software, which, since software governs the majority of our lives, mean that they now govern the majority of our lives.

Want to order a pizza? Better send the legal contract with the pizza company to the lawyer you keep on retainer and after looking over the documents he'll advise you on the legal ramifications of the pizza transaction.

Oh, you don't keep a lawyer on hand to advise you about ordering pizza or playing video games?

Well, then you can't complain if you don't like something buried in page 20 of the contract you signed with the pizza delivery company.

One of the massively dehumanizing things bureacracy does is demand something that is in practice impossible, like, "Keep a lawyer on retainer to scrutinize the terms of every pizza delivery contract, video rental, major appliance, and video game you interact with." and then condescendingly tell you,

"Well, if you don't do something as simple as that, whatever happens next is *your fault* and blaming someone else shows a weakness in your character."

One of the confounding problems if you want to argue with people who have some kind of luddite leanings is that, well, new technology feels nowadays like an imposition from hostile forces who know that they have you over the barrel because, uh, it is that thing. It is deliberately designed to be that thing.

I like having a cell phone. I hate waiving my right to a jury or to participate in a class action lawsuit. I would pay more, as a consumer, for a phone contract that did not have a binding arbitration clause. I couldn't find one.

So I decided that owning a phone was the lesser of two evils, and that will now be treated as a free choice which I have no right to complain about.

After all, if I wanted the right to join a class action suit I could simply forgo phone service and conduct all communications by the post.

And since I am allowed to choose whether I wish to have legal rights or a telephone, I am not allowed to complain about missing one or the other. After all, *I agreed* to give one of those things up :) :) :) :)

I think this move towards mass abuse of consumers really is one of the more underrated factors in, say, modern American politics.

[vashwoofs]

Me seconds after posting a fic for the first time in literal years: commint?? 👀👀👀