#*better but fuck if i know how. can the ship bee saved or do we have to burn it to the ground. i am so angry

[transingthoseformers]

So!

I really really liked Transformers One!

The visuals were gorgeous, the characters were interesting, more under the cut

I especially liked the designs of the Quintessons, and the Quintesson ships. I liked how the ships themselves seemed like living organics up close, like some sort of massive arthropods.

I'll admit that initially learning Elita's VA had worried me, but I think Scarlett did manage to capture Elita's personality in a very interesting light— so much that I mayyyy have forgotten she was Elita's VA until the credits😅

there were so many recognizable characters in the background, but since I was. Well. In a theater and not in a place where I could pause and screenshot things I'm sure I missed quite a few Easter eggs

May I return to how much I loved the visuals??? Iacon felt alive and busy, and even though you can tell the surface was ravaged by the Quintessons it was full of so many interesting details. I fucking loved the shifting rocks and mountains

oughhh Airachnid was so cool, she gave me heavy xenomorph vibes.

I may or may not have quietly called D-16/Megatron Optimus's wife several times in the theater. I don't think my Grandma heard me as she was screwing around on her phone the majority of the time.

The transformations were pretty cool

Sentinel was the utter bastard I knew he'd be

They didn't kill the Quintessons or even directly go up against them, (which I was expecting them to go against them) which makes me think they might be saving that for a sequel or something.

LOVED THE END SEQUENCE OF D-16 FINALLY BECOMING MEGATRON AND ORION PAX BECOMING OPTIMUS PRIME, visually it was so cool

Alpha Trion's altmode was cool

I didn't expect it to have been Sentinel to scratch the first decepticon badge into Megatron's armor as a mocking gesture

Didn't expect the future decepticons to be called the High Guard, and to have their ties to the Thirteen Primes

again I loved how beautiful everything was, again and again

hehehe mild swearing in a PG movie

Probably more I can't think of right now!

Things I questioned / think could've been changed:

... I'll admit, as much as I love Megs, his character and progression from miner to leader of the decepticons felt a little out of character to me. I understand this is a new continuity with its own rules but I almost felt like Orion and D-16 should've been swapped. Idk, just an opinion. It felt very weird to hear D-16 go "mnnn but maybe we're better off as just miners, we're cogless :/", and I feel like his turn to seek violence was a bit fast.

I've seen the inclusion of Bee/B-127 as part of the original four questioned since the first trailer released, and while I liked him in the movie I do agree he might've should've been another character. Though, I'm inclined to suggest he maybe should've been Dion, and died somewhere at the end of the movie.

I'm a little disappointed we didn't get to see other possible Cybertronian cities like Tarn, Kaon, Vos, or Praxus. Idk if it'd've been realistic for them to include them, but still.

.Still not sure about Chris Hemsworth as Orion/Optimus.

Idk. I liked a lot of things about the movie, but there were a few things here and there, you know?

[lutawolf]

Between Us Episode 8 Commentary and Review

Happy holidays guys!!! I hope each of you are having an amazing day. I was up super late, so forgive me if I'm spazzy during this commentary. For those not familiar with me. You can check out my master list here. Also, don't forget to head offer to Coconuts Mafia and check out the other BL content providers. There are several of us who like to keep you guys entertained.

Without further ado. Let's do this.

This is fucking relatable. I envy those who studied and never had this thought. It's no fucking wonder you can't sleep on your bed if you're eating chips on it! Crumbs on the bed. Just ew. No.

Opens door. Tone says you suck, then the bag of snacks come out. Why I do love you... Not gonna lie. My daughter and I are the same way. "You're not you when you're hungry." That smile on Win's face, so cute. Ahhh, listen to that Dom voice. Hand stopping Team from going any further. Voice commanding, not asking or even telling, but commanding. Whiny brat comes out, but we are merely amused. I'm so dead. "You're so dumb." 🤣🤣🤣

When has a pillow ever saved you, Team? Name one time. Go ahead. I'll wait. Then calling Win out. "How you want to get paid?" We got questions and we need answers. Forehead kisses! That pillow did nothing, Team. Nothing at all. Next time, wack him. I mean, you'll be punished for it, but I'm okay with that. Team, did you really ask that? I know you're insecure and last episode didn't help with that, but you're dumb. Well that was about as clear as mud Win, thank you for that.

These two dorks. Bee and Prince. PrinceB. So fucking special.

Win tells him that they are taking the bike. No argument from Team. Even though it's a product placement. It's a cute moment. Love the peace sign. Not Win demanding a check kiss! So cute! Look at that smile! I really enjoy that we only see this side of Win with Team. It shows just how special Team is to Win. I'm sentimentally attached to the colors red and blue. Which is saying something because I hate the color blue.

Team once again being relatable. Ladies and gents, the award goes to Drama king Team and Drama Queen Manow. OMG!!! He posted pictures! I'm so dead. I fucking love the sub trio. They are hilarious.

Blue and red! Ahhhhh. Now you give him encouragement instead of calling him dumb. After the exam! smh. Look at him, waiting to hear where Team is sleeping tonight. Then getting all happy about it. So cute! Yeah, so Team does not have a praise kink. He actually gets embarrassed with it, which is why you see him pushing Team on. There are brats like that. Especially those more comfortable being degraded. Which Team clearly is.

You only believe half of it Team!? No! He likes the idea of it. Win coming in with the logic. 🤣🤣🤣 He can't help it. It's how his brain works. Sweet baby Jezebel, it's a pain in the ass. OMG!!! I'm loving Team's reaction. He just giggles while Win side eyes him. Love It!!!

That's right, baby boy! Question why he has hemp rope, and let all pray it's for the reasons that we hope. Though, hemp rope that frayed would be awful! Like painful, uncomfortable, and break. Just say no to craft hemp rope. There is softer rope that will still give you the feel you're looking for and will hold up better. With a hell of a lot less aftercare, too. Actually, here, let me just give you the link. Ropes are a really fun, even if you don't want to tie someone up. I have friends who've really enjoyed learning knots.

Okay, so back to the show. We left off with Team thinking he had it to tie him up. Sadly, we find out that was not true. Fucking teases. The red thread is for little boys like Dean and Pharm. So dead! HAHAHA!!!

Hey dumbasses, I'm pretty sure it's supposed to be the pinky and not the whole body. Wait! Why am I complaining? This is what I wanted! NVM, please continue.

Awe, they're at Win's house. Here comes the parents. OH, NO Win! Calling him a junior. There goes the fucker with something stuck up his ass. And not in a fun way either! Though... One could argue that anything STUCK up the ass wouldn't be fun. In any way.

Super stressful situation, but let's all take a minute to enjoy how Win commanded Team to take Wiew out. And how, Team just did it. Yay, daddy, don't piss off the kid that can actually run circles around you running your business. I love, love, that Wiew feels comfortable talking to Team about his issues. I really respect that Team isn't trying to give advice right away here. He isn't interrupting, he's just listening. Letting Wiew talk about his issues and concerns. Sometimes, that's more needed than an actual solution to the problem.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Damn. First calling him a junior and then asking if Win is dating someone. This family knows how to score a direct hit. I'm actually enjoying the frank father son talk.

Omg, why is it so salt. "My hand." dead. I'm so dead. Because they are not dead like me. How could they miss it. Look at the ABC gang coming in with the good advice.

See. Team is not into the praise kink. Win tells him good job, and he's like eh. That's actually very typical in someone with low self-esteem. This can be due to abuse, trauma, or even ADHD. Praise kinks aren't as common as one might think. More like, Doms give praise until a sub gets used to it and then begins to enjoy it. I praise like nobodies business both here, in real life, and with my kids. Don't believe me, ask my daughter. No, I also have a degrading kink, but that's with my husband. And even that is done with a balance of praise. Which is actually what we see with Win. A very good balance of degrading and praising. Which would be why you might miss his degrading kink if not paying attention.

Are you seeing it now that I've pointed it out? How many of you are now going to rewatch it to catch it? Raise of hands in the comment section. Notice that Team isn't fighting the degrading like he does being praised. Win just realized that Team can memorize anything he deems important. Win, I mean this with the utmost affection. You're a slut and I love you for it. But seriously, did they throw in a lion sound effect? WTF.

Hia, I can't talk so here, let me show you. So fucking cute. He got a B!!! Shut up, Manow!! 🤣🤣🤣 By the way, I think I'm fucking up the spelling of these names. You should see me, when I write my stories I have a notebook of everyone's names next to me. But do I do it when writing these? Hell to the nah.

The eye blinking sound effects. SMH. Haha, she went to see the lights. He got a B! Do you guys see it? Hmmm? He wants a prize! I fucking love it! A ROOM KEY!!! See sneak in of the praise kink. He did it while he was so happy that he didn't fight him. He's starting to get used to it now.

Their smiles talking about the Christmas lights and Team cheering!! So fucking cute!!!

Well that's all folks! Hope you've had an amazing day and got all your wishes granted. 💜💜💜

[reyev]

To save everyone on discord from my endless song ramblings. I have decided to make the annotated playlist post here. Under the cut is every song on my Juno/Nureyev/Jupeter playlist with explanations and lyric excerpts that really Get me about them. Bon appetit and whatnot.

If you want to listen to the playlist and/or steal the songs you can find it on Spotify and Apple Music.

Also shoutout to everyone in the Penumbra Creator Collective discord. Yes most of these are songs I stole from other people and/or playlists. I don't listen to music ♡

(There is a heavy Nureyev bias in here. I'm a Nureyev girlie. Who knew.)

I'm Good, I'm Gone - Lykke Li Nureyev who runs away from him fucking problems. Juno who ALSO run away from him fucking problems! They love to run away from everything.

And if you say I'm not okay with miles to go If you say there ain't no way that I could know If you say I aim too high from down below Well say it now 'cause when I'm gone You'll be calling, but I won't be at the phone And I'm hanging around 'til it's all done You can't keep me back once I had some No wasting time to get it right And you will see what I'm about

Love Don't Die - The Fray Nureyev u-haul swag is real. And then in season 3 when they are so clearly…sooo happy together. Like they would die for each other even if they don't stay for each other. They are in love ♡

If I know one thing that's true It ain't what you say, it's what you do And you don't say much, yeah, that's true But I listen when you do No matter where we go Or even if we don't And even if they try They'll never take my body from your side Love don't die

Kiss With A Fist - Florence + the Machine This is very much fitting with the crime boss Roses AU. But also in general Juno and Nureyev bond through a lot of suffering. And also also Juno "active desire to do me harm" Steel.

Blood sticks, sweat drips Break the lock if it don't fit A kick in the teeth is good for some A kiss with a fist is better than none

Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend - Julie London Heist song!!!! And also Man in Glass Nureyev.

Men grow cold As girls grow old And we all lose our charms in the end But square-cut or pear-shaped These rocks don't loose their shape Diamonds are a girl's best friend

Fucking Boyfriend - the bird and the bee I think it fits them. TBH to be honest. Especially Murderous Mask and Man in Glass.

There is something wrong and there is something right When you can take me by the hands and I will close my eyes When you laid down with me you took the other side When you laid down with me you never slept that night Are you working up to something, but you give me almost nothing Keep me helpless up to something on my knees

Runaways - All Time Low The fantasy of running away together! Nureyev says let's run away and forget everything and they consider it for a little bit, tbh!!!

So let's run away They will have to find another heart to break Why don't we just run away? Never turn around, no matter what they say We'll find our way When the sun goes down on this town There'll be no one left but us

W.A.M.S. - Fall Out Boy Juno self-hate and loves to ignore things with sex.

Hurry, hurry You put my head in such a flurry, flurry Reflect, reflect on what makes you so special Oh, what makes you so special? I'm gonna leave you Oh, I'm gonna teach you How we're all alone How we're all alone, oh, oh

Never Love an Anchor - The Crane Wives Juno cutting Nureyev loose because he thinks he's the anchor and Nureyev is the ship.

There are times where I still wonder about you You are someone I have loved but never known And you'll never see the reasons I had For keeping my claws away when they were close enough to hurt you

Come With Me - Chxrlotte Final resting place. Especially Nureyev's POV.

They won't find us, you and I Can watch the stars fall from the sky The world ends eventually, so come with me

Complicated - Avril Lavigne Juno and Nureyev both seeing what each other are hiding and so frustrated by it. Especially Juno watching Nureyev wear a mask around their family.

Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated? I see the way you're Actin' like you're somebody else, gets me frustrated Life's like this, you And you fall, and you crawl, and you break And you take what you get and you turn it into Honesty and promise me, I'm never gonna find you fake it No, no, no

Cherry Thrill - Movements "Who knows what kind of trouble we could cause?"

Ooh, am I the only one? I think it might be fun Drop everything and run Ooh, you look so fit to kill World explodes and I'm with you still Hypnotized in your cherry thrill I'm feeling lucky, I'm feeling charmed You pick the roles, I'll play the part One robs the bank, one drives the car And we run the job like a work of art

Fair - The Amazing Devil Hopelessly and uselessly in love.

"It's not fair, it's not fair how much I love you It's not fair 'cause you make me ache, you bastard" And they'll say "Oh how, oh how unreasonable How unreasonably in love I am with everything you do I'll spend my days so close to you 'cause if I'm stood here Then I'm stood here And I'll stand here I'll stand here with you"

Neptune - Sleeping At Last Nureyev is allergic to the truth but can't help being a hopeless romantic!!!!

I'm only honest when it rains If I time it right, the thunder breaks When I open my mouth I wanna tell you, but I don't know how I'm only honest when it rains An open book with a torn out page And my ink's run out I wanna love you, but I don't know how

It's Always Sunny With You - {Parentheses} Nureyev learning how to love in the present instead of just the past. He loves Juno!!!

You caught me when I was falling down Picked me up when I was on the ground You were warm when everything was cold On you, I have been sold I thought I was drowning once, but then You made my life happy once again I thought I was lost but now I'm found It's you I wanna be around

Black Sheep - Metric Nureyev loves to self-flagellate by going back even when it hurts. And also he is literally the black sheep of the crew.

I'll send you my love on a wire Lift you up, every time Everyone, ooh Pulls away, ooh It's a mechanical bull, the number one You'll take a ride from anyone Everyone wants a ride Pulls away, ooh, from you

Bug Like an Angel - Mitski Nureyev making promises he can't keep! Because he loves Juno but he also is dedicated to his debts (literal and metaphorical).

Hey, what's the matter? Lookin' like your sticker Is stuck on a floor somewhere Did you go and make promises you can't keep? Well, when ya break them, they break you right back Amateur mistake, you can take it from me

Where Do You Run - The Score Nureyev and Juno both wanting to be wanted!! So badly!!!!

The bridges I have crossed since you've been next to me You showed me there's a life worth fighting for, yeah Now the tables turned and you're the one in need Just let me in I'll help you win this war, oh

Devil's Backbone - The Civil Wars Nureyev sees himself as broken but guess what!!! Juno loves you anyway bitch.

O Lord, O Lord, what have I done? I’ve fallen in love with a man on the run O Lord, O Lord, I’m begging you, please Don’t take that sinner from me Oh, don’t take that sinner from me

Love of My Life - Queen Nureyev learning what love really feels like with Juno and well. That's his other half now.

(Please bring it back, back) Bring it back, bring it back Don't take it away from me Because you don't know What it means to me (means to me) You will remember when this is blown over And everything's all by the way When I grow older I will be there at your side To remind you How I still love you (I still love you)

Suck the Blood From My Wound - Ezra Furman Magic healing in various AUs. But also the symbolism of angel Nureyev.

Blood on my angel's lips blends in with his makeup He's off the premises before his brain's had time to wake up Peeling off bandages to unfold his wings The doctors said they'd have to stay on for another three weeks Fuck it baby, let 'em bruise, let 'em break But please, let 'em bleed I let you walk as long as fear will allow I've never loved you more than I love you now And then we're back on the road before the sun's even up We're making time, we're making progress But progress towards what?

Hero - Faouzia Nureyev thinking that if he can be Juno's hero, Juno will be his savior. And he does, but not how either of them expect.

If I was your hero, would you be mine? I know this ain't a fairytale, this is real life But if I were to save you, would you do the same? And catch me if I'm fallin', fallin', fallin', fallin'?

Never There - CAKE Nureyev resenting Juno leaving him. Of course.

On the phone long, long distance Always through such strong resistance And first you say you're too busy I wonder if you even miss me

Only the Lonely Survive - Marianas Trench Nureyev running back to a "reality" without Juno. He's survived by being no one for years! He knows they're on limited time.

But I know A love like this will end in tragedy You know Every kiss suspending gravity Burns us both to love this close We lose ourselves And I know we won't get out alive But only the lonely survive

UNBELIEVABLE - Ethan Gander If Nureyev ever stops running away he'll fall to pieces, so he will keep running until he falls away.

The things I've done to run away Are unforgivable This debt I'm unable to pay Is unbelievable Oh so weary, no rest And still got miles ahead I've created a mess with my own bare hands

When Somebody Needs You [Song] - Will Wood Reuniting on the Carte Blanche and they just…wow they're okay? Actually? And then they both get to be needed by someone who's here.

Then you looked in my eyes and said "How dare you love me when you should despise me? You should be scared of me" It seems that that's what it means When somebody needs you

Promises - Beach Bunny Nureyev pissed at Juno but still wanting to be thought of. Because he's that bitch.

Part of me still wants you, part of me wants to fall asleep When we're all alone in your bedroom, you came like a reoccurring dream Part of me still hates you, how could you love someone and leave? When you're all alone in your bedroom, do you ever think of me?

You're a Cad - the bird and the bee Nureyev is so obsessed with Juno it makes him look stupid. Especially gap between end of FRP and CB. Also this is reverse AU Nureyev fr.

Still I tug at your line, I'm a fish on your hook You're rash and you're hasty, you're reckless with my heart Still I wait by the phone, I will never get smart I should be better, but I'm worse

A Night Like This - Caro Emerald The fantasy of being together, of running away, of being a pair. Murderous Mask, Train From Nowhere, and Final Resting Place vibes.

I have never dreamed it Have you ever dreamed a night like this? I cannot believe it I may never see a night like this When everything you think is incomplete Starts happening when you are cheek to cheek Could you ever dream it? I have never dreamed Dreamed a night like this

Tomcat Disposables - Will Wood The Pests and Nureyev dreaming of more.

And so I stumble back to bed Something's not quite right. Guess I'll just go rest my head Now as I lay me down to sleep I expect no dreams, and no sweet goodbye to me Flatline in the morning light. I held on so tight for so long It's just not right, let a sigh out as I close my eyes Was that all there was to this? What's for the best?

Liar - The Arcadian Wild Nureyev thinking there's nothing waiting underneath all his aliases and lies. Is there even a person there?

I am the host of this hostility I’m the master magician that makes you believe I’m real, I’m not fake, but in reality I’m a lying man My life’s become this grand game of deception My mind’s ignored all my heart’s good intentions We all feel this tension We all have our own illusions

Broken Boy - Cage the Elephant Nureyev!!!! Nureyev the Brahman child. Trying to grow past it but he's always going to be Peter Nureyev the Brahman child.

I was born on the wrong side of the train tracks I was raised with a strap across my back Lay me on my side or hold me up to the light, yeah I was burned by the cold kiss of a vampire I was bit by the whisper of a soft liar Any good friend of yours is a good friend of mine Broken boy, how does it feel? Broken boy, how does it feel? How does it feel? Tell me why I'm forced to live in this skin Tell me why I’m forced to live in this skin I'm an alien, I'm just an alien, oh Tell me why I was born to live in this skin Tell me how I’m supposed to be forgiven With my hand in the hive and the sun in my eyes, yeah

Chapter 6 Many Mistakes (feat. Jaye Prime) - Jax Anderson Both Juno and Nureyev have always caused problems for one another and thinking it over, even as they commit to their mistakes.

Late night thinkin 'bout many mistakes I never meant to hurt you Late night problems come and I can't escape I never meant to hurt you Late night wishin' I'd run away I never meant to hurt you Late night problems come and I can't escape I never meant to hurt you

Scene One - James Dean & Audrey Hepburn - Sleeping With Sirens Season 1 Nureyev, Season 5 Juno, Season 3 them together.

How the hell did you ever pick me? Honestly, cause I could sing you a song But I don't think words can express your beauty It's singing to me How the hell did we end up like this? You bring out the beast in me I fell in love from the moment we kissed Since then we've been history They say that love is forever Your forever is all that I need Please stay as long as you need Can't promise that things won't be broken But I swear that I will never leave Please stay forever with me

The Moon Will Sing - The Crane Wives Regrets and desires.

All those empty rooms We could have been anywhere, anywhere else Instead I made a bed with apathy My heart knew the weight Ten years worth of dust and neglect We made our peace with weariness And let it be

Extrasolar - Baths Juno's moral core, Nureyev's dedication to a promise he's made. Broken by who they are and also literally running off world!

Get offworld, get extrasolar Boot the motor, we've got time to waste (In every blot of space) Our goodwill is gonna kill us But come what may, we're on our way (Intrepid and unphased)

Into the Storm - BANNERS Nureyev who will always chase after Juno!!!!

So violently Held captive by your gravity Hold your breath and wait for me Where the wind may blow Through light and dark And fantasies that fall apart Know you're always in my heart Anywhere you go

First Love / Late Spring - Mitski Nureyev who had to learn to be mature so young, and now he's emotionally stunted!

And I was so young when I behaved twenty-five Yet now, I find I've grown into a tall child And I don't wanna go home yet Let me walk to the top of the big night sky

Francis Forever - Mitski Nureyev who has to prove himself to anyone whose approval he's ever valued. Mag, Juno, Vespa, Buddy!!

I don't need the world to see That I've been the best I can be, but I don't think I could stand to be Where you don't see me

Starlight - Muse They're in love, your honor.

Far away This ship has taken me far away Far away from the memories Of the people who care if I live or die Starlight I will be chasing a starlight Until the end of my life I don't know if it's worth it anymore Hold you in my arms I just wanted to hold You in my arms My life You electrify my life Let's conspire to ignite All the souls that would die just to feel alive I'll never let you go If you promise not to fade away Never fade away

Mercury - Sleeping At Last Nureyev thinking that Juno is the most precious thing. Even more than Slip or even more than his name!! They're in love.

I know the further I go The harder I try, only keeps my eyes closed And somehow I've fallen in love With this middle ground at the cost of my soul Yet I know, if I stepped aside Released the controls, you would open my eyes That somehow, all of this mess Is just my attempt to know the worth of my life

Pretty Little Things - The Crane Wives I don't think I need to argue this. It's so.

I cut straight to the heart I don't believe the pretty little things that you say I've heard a lot of little pretty things Don't buy me flowers It pains me to watch pretty little things wilt away Pretty little things wilt away Pretty little things wilt away

Hey Brother - Avicii Benten and Juno!! Bentenbentenbenten. (Also Steliana and Nureyev if you're a deep V lore follower.)

What if I'm far from home? Oh brother, I will hear you call What if I lose it all? Oh sister, I will help you out Oh, if the sky comes falling down For you, there's nothing in this world I wouldn't do

Twin Skeleton's (Hotel In NYC) - Fall Out Boy Both Juno and Nureyev trying to fill the emptiness of their past.

Keep making trouble 'til you find what you love I need a new partner in crime and you, you shrug that There's a room in a hotel in New York City That shares our fate and deserves our pity I don't want to remember it all The promises I made if you just hold on Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on

Ruin - The Amazing Devil They ruin one another in the best fucking way. And being left alone? Remembering their time together.

Because brick by brick you built us And I'd fill in the cracks Nothing quite prepares you for When they don't come back I wish I'd done things different I wish that I'd been brave I wish I'd known these stones were something I could save

Metaphor - The Crane Wives Nureyev who thinks he's only a liar and is better at loving dead people than alive people.

I keep my closet free of skeletons 'Cause I'm much better at digging graves But I always dig up bones in your sympathy I can't trust a single thing you say

Brother - Kodaline Benten and Juno and what could've been with them. Ride or die. (Also Steliana and Nureyev. Don't @ me.)

We're living different lives Heaven only knows If we'll make it back with all our fingers and our toes Five years, twenty years, come back It will always be the same, oh-oh, oh-oh If I was dying on my knees You would be the one to rescue me And if you were drowned at sea I'd give you my lungs so you could breathe

A Message - Coldplay S1/S5 parallel feels.

Your heavy heart Is made of stone And it's so hard to see you clearly You don't have to be on your own You don't have to be on your own And I'm not gonna take it back And I'm not gonna say I don't mean that You're the target that I'm aiming at Can I get that message home?

Fool & The Thief - THE HARA Nureyev thinks he's a fool! He's stealing things, he's stealing time, he's foolish for loving.

The smile don't mean I'm fine It's just my disguise Laugh through gritted teeth Good at faking that I'm fine The mirror that I speak to Has a thousand eyes I get all the attention but they don't know the truth Imposter in my heavy head tells me what to do This 2am anxiety Pumps a hole straight through my chest

Honey and Glass - Peyton Cardoza How Nureyev sees Juno. They're in love your honor.

And she's dancing in the rain with her clothes on Drenched to the bone, never knows when she´s all gone But she's the life of the party and deep down I know That nobody flinches when she takes off her clothes And I wonder what's it like to be one of those girls To sit in the sun, and look at the world and never think "Wow, am I enough"

Becoming the Lastnames - Will Wood Domesticity arc. Espeeeecially in my belief that Nureyev dreams of it. Also Juno allowing himself to want it?

I'm not sure yet myself, but I learned from a good father Yeah, I mean, sure, they messed me up, but I think that's just the gig And maybe it's just some hormones that kick in in your late twenties But I have laid a lot of women, and now I'd like to just lay down And marriage always scared me, but I'd like to have a last love And love can last a pretty good long while, yeah, I've seen it around But if we grow old together, will you talk to my headstone? That is, assuming that I die first (which is fair) and assuming I don't leave Close enough to forever, I guess, to prove what I hope I mean, otherwise, how am I to believe?

Shiver - Mike Waters Nureyev who was willing to give away everything for Juno and Juno still left him. He probably thinks about that a lot in the next year.

But I don’t need excuses And I don’t need your love And I’m a little dumb And I’m a little stupid for speaking from my heart And I’m a little numb 'cause I could hear your footsteps When you left last night

Foolish Believer - Broadside Nureyev who thinks he's not whole but that Juno can somehow fill that for him. He needs to do the work later. Get your character development arc bro.

I can't shake the feeling All the world is just a stage And everybody's acting Hoping that the crowd will numb the pain So here goes another line from a fading light I need your love 'cause I've sold all mine Don't walk away

[heniareth]

I wish the marketing industry a very please die

[truetgirl]

Should have mentioned in the first post, but this is gonna be an every-other-day thing this year mostly because it’s depressingly hard to come up with more than 15 canon queer ships that I have much to say about beyond “they’re cute.”

In any event, time for the second couple of the month with...

Pricefield!

I warn you now, this is gonna be a long analysis and largely assumes the reader knows the context for what I’m talking about. But there’s still points in here I think work whether you have the context or not.

Disclaimer: since I will be drawing pretty heavily on material from the comics to inform my readings here, we’re just gonna take it a read that the Bae over Bay ending is what happened, alright? Alright.

Anyone who knows me knows I have to talk about Life is Strange at every opportunity, so here we go! Max and Chloe, especially after the comics, are such a good story about learning to bend rather than break, to love and be loved with an understanding of what that means to you. Learning to accept yourself and your experiences, figuring out how to grow from them, even the painful ones, and then to undertake the terrifying process sharing them with another. They are a story, in a simple phrase, of learning how to really live.

When these two reunite after Max comes back to Arcadia Bay, things are raw for them. They’re childhood best friends separated by years of growth in the young adults they’re becoming.

For Chloe in particular there’s a lot of pain and grief in those years. Her father died, she’d been stuck with a stepfather she hates, she isn’t sure how to feel about her mom anymore, and, just to cap it off, Rachel Amber, one of a very few good things to happen to Chloe in years, in her own mind, has recently gone missing. And throughout all of this she’s sought her best friend’s support, but Max has bee increasingly distant. Dead dad, mom seems to like stepfather she hates better than her, missing kinda-sorta girlfriend, and a best friend that just slowly ghosted her for a few years there. Can you say abandonment issues? Cause I sure can!

Then there’s Max herself, who let’s face it is depressed as hell at the outset of this story. If I were gonna take a wild guess as to what went wrong with her and Chloe keeping in touch, I’d bet being uprooted from her home probably knocked her the fuck out, emotionally, and even though she likely got at least a little bit better as time went on, it was probably the guilt we know she feels about not having kept up with Chloe to that point that drove her further away. I can absolutely imagine Max convincing herself that Chloe deserved better than someone that wasn’t there for her in any way when her father died. This is all, admittedly, just my take on Max’s pre-story life, but I fell like it holds up pretty well.

All this leads to the Max we meet as the story begins: a talented but self conscious girl who believes she’ll never be good enough at her craft to pursue it seriously. A girl with horrible trouble connecting to people, who doesn’t trust herself to remember things (hello there, autism and ADHD, was that what Max’s IEP was for in that file?), and who believes she’ll just mess up when she participates in the world. Her response? She sits back, watches, and takes pictures. She hasn’t reached this point by the same path or reacted to it the in same ways, but she is every bit as isolated and hurt as Chloe.

When max gets he powers and saves Chloe’s life, when they properly meet again right after that, I can hardly imagine what either of them could have needed more. Of all the people they could meet in their turmoil, they meet the person who knew them best before they experienced their pain. There’s a lot of learning and re-learning to do about one another, but their bond comes back instantly. Friendships like that are damned rare, and it’s amazing when you find one the first time, and even better when you rediscover it.

The entire game from that point, at least the way I played it, but I can’t imagine it would deviate too far from this, is a story about these girls first reigniting their old bond, then building anew on top of what they’ve just found again. It’s a story in which, despite everything that happens to them, they become each other’s safe place. It’s a story of them falling in love, even when the player chooses for that love to be platonic (well, from Max’s side, anyway). This entire game is Max discovering both that to meddle with the experiences and decisions of those around her is to literally rob them of who they choose to be, and even still she would do just about anything for this girl she loves.

With this as the context, these things, along with her potential recklessness up to now, as her principle thoughts, and a storm bearing down on the town, one that she may be able to stop, but isn’t sure she can stop, at the price of Chloe’s life? Of course Max’s choice would be to stop trying to wrest control of everything around her. The only path is to let go, to take things as they are now, and hold on to what she knows she can save. And when the storm clears, they set out together. Nothing will ever be the same, but they have each other now, and maybe that’s enough.

Except, of course, living with such a decision isn’t that simple, is it? Max starts the comics tortured by the prospects of what might have been, of what she could have done, of what if, what if, what if? When this manifests in her flickers, in literally being randomly and painfully displaced in time, her old instincts return to haunt her with the most devastating, hardest to deny fear of all: that living the life she has now is painful because it literally is not hers to live. It’s a thought that drive her to doubt and panic until, finally, she can’t bear it any longer, and she runs all the way to another reality.

She runs, and she goes on the assumption that the life and love she fought so desperately to hold onto weren’t what she deserved. They weren’t what was “meant” for her because she could not for one moment believe that she was worthy of them. She falls into her old coping mechanism of distancing herself from the world so hard that she literally leaves it behind.

The comic is in large part Max’s journey, in every sense of the word, first away from her guilt and pain, and then back to it. And why is that? Because she realizes now that, however much they hurt, her choices and her experiences are all that she has, all that defines who she is. She learns that to embrace the good, to have a life with the girl she loves and to learn to be happy, she has to first accept herself (already hard to do), and then let Chloe, who by now has learned many of the same lessons about what it means to her to live well, accept her too (even more difficult).

But Chloe, having not been idle while Max was gone, and always believing on some level they would be reunited again, does accept her. She doesn’t expect Max to be perfect because she knows she isn’t, that nobody can be. That Max chose her to begin with was already huge. I cannot imagine the impact that must have had on her. To be abandoned and neglected, over and over again, and then for someone, a girl she loves and who she knows for absolutely certain can and has been making only the choices that she’s determined are for the best since they reunited the first time, to say “in all this chaos, despite and because of everything, I choose you.” Could you imagine?

And so, in Chloe’s own words:

She learned to live, learned to shine. And when Max came home, which once more meant the world to her, she brings it all home, dispelling Max’s last insecurity:

Max has spent so long completely sure that she would be hated, and she would deserve it. Chloe has spent just as long believing that nobody would ever choose her, not when they could clearly have something better. It hurt. All of this hurt so much. But it’s theirs, and they will move forward knowing that they can build something beautiful, but that they will. They will, because they choose it by choosing each other. They choose it by deciding it’s high time they get on with living.

[akitaauthority]

TFP If You Ship...

Ultra Magnus

I would also like to warn yall, I do roast the shit outta these ships and you. Some of y'all are nasty and need to be told/reminded, and some of you need to stay far the fuck away from me. Aight? Aight lets begin.

MagOp/OpMag/Magnimus/ Ultra Magnus x Optimus Prime: You pretentious bitch. You absolute fucking- I have no fucking words to describe how beige you are. You 're personality is plain oatmeal. Message me. I want to beat your ass. You prolly like them for the fact that they can relate to each other, and because of their importance to the war. But I hate you cause you also have more content. Fuck you. May your cereal turn soggy before you can eat that shit, may your drawing tablet get so hot in that one corner that you can fry bacon on that bitch. Fuck you.

MagMeg/Magatron(ew)/ Ultra Magnus x Megatron: you eat mayonnaise with a fucking spoon. Y'all saw that one scene with them on Darkmount and was just like "hm, but what if fuck?" and ran with it. You went to Ao3 expecting kinky shit, but all you got was stuff for IDW Megs and Mags and honestly baby, its gon' be okay.

Matchet/Ragus?/ Ultra Magnus x Ratchet: Yes we get it, the old man can dom now shut the fuck up. If taking your S/O to the nursing home as a date was a ship it'd be these old crotchety ass bitches. But, but, on a more serious note this ship can be so therapeutic for both mechs. These two were there way before the start of the war, they lived through it, and they knew Optimus all throughout. I imagine Ratchet would tell Magnus about Orion before his ascension to the primacy. I ain't ever been more depressed scrolling through a tag though, y'all broke bitches need whatever the fuck UltraScreen is having.

Magbee/Ultra Bumble/Ultra Magnus x Bee: I ain't ever seen two same heighted Cybertronians in a relationship, always one of'em gotta be spike suckin' height.

UltraJack/ Ultra Magnus x Wheeljack: Listen, listen, both these mechs love their solitary time and it can create so much angst, SO MUCH. Magnus feeling he must uphold his duties and Wheeljack having a mindset similar to a pirate. His spark belongs to the stars AND Magnus, but the stars will always come first. But bitch this is Ultra Magnus. We horny. We know Wheeljack is a fucking brat, and Ultra Magnus is his Dom.... baby we nasty. We nasty and there is no fucking denying that shit my GOD.

Ultrabulk/ Ultra Magnus x Bulkhead: Listen man as crazy as this might sound, I think this could work. Just like any other ship with Bulkhead you are fucking STRUGGLING though dude, you got like 5 fics you keep coming back to. You cry at night, knowing, and praying, that the gods will smile upon you and bless you with an update. You know you struggling when you only got three fics that have this ship as the focus. If y'all ban together I'm sure you can scrounge together like three pieces of fanart and a lint roller between the four of you.

UltraScream/ Ultra Magnus x Starscream: I don't see how anyone could hate this ship. Like, they literally work as really good foils to each other. You've got Magnus who is loyal as fuck, very militaristic??? And very much involved with the safety of his team. He's described as recklessly brave. Starscream on the other hand has a lot of character to work on and Magnus could help him along with that, and he can teach Magnus self preser- fucking-vation because Mr. "gets fucking chomped by a predacon for another bitchass Autobot" needs it. You're fuckass wants someone to save you, or you want to go absolutely apeshit. You are the mom friend everyone is worried about.

Ultracee/ Ultra Magnus x Arcee: Huh?? I mean like....Okaaaayy?? I mean good for you. This ship makes me feel the way that you feel when someone offers you candy you don't like, but you wouldn't mind eating it so you do. To be honest the people who ship this definitely see diamonds in places others wouldn't expect, but like you're so fucking unnessecary oh my god. Like you prolly add weird ass comments to other peoples statements, ain't nobody out here asking for an echo. Sit down.

UltraShock: ya like'em thicc don't you commanding officer Ultra Magnus? Anyway maybe y'all could team up with UltraBulk shippers and add a pile of used soda cans to the pile. Y'all are ghosts, do you even exist on this plane. My guesstimate on how many people actually ship this forreal is like 5.

Ultrawave/MagnusSound/Magnus x Soundwave: Listen if the Ultrabulk shippers are starving y'all ain't even corporeal. I show up to this ship with a fucking ghost talk box and some heat sensors, and like one boombox tryna see if GHOSTS even inhabit this bitch. Y'all aight? Are y'all good?? HELLO IN THERE (hello in there) (hello in there). Yall really go all out for the goth shit. Prolly hidin' in the shadows of my house waiting to strike.

Ultrascreen:

You, and I mean this in the most (derogatory) way possible, are a fucking

HOE

Literally looked on AO3 saw nearly NOTHING BUT kinky MF PORN. The oooonly plot y'all got is exactly how long Ultra Magnus can deny Smokescreen an overload. Why every time it comes to Magnus people make this by the books vanilla bitch the kinkiest one. YES I love subverting expectations but can I PLEASE get one fic where he sputters because his partner says a bad word. These two are the main ones who get this treatment, and baby I ain't complaining, but please. Please just- please sir I-I a-ah!

Ultradown: The UltraBulk, and UltraWave shippers come here every year, at the exact same location, at the exact same time, all for this ritual. The UltraWave shippers take out a boombox, some energon candies, and a supersized Cybertronian false spike. The UltraBulkers begin to sing the incantation to summon their fallen comrade: https://youtu.be/m9We2XsVZfc. They must do this once every year, they must battle the UltraDown shippers, though most would say they are a myth, the UltraShock and UltraWave shippers know better.

MagnusOut/KnockMagnusOut?/Ultra Knockout: Listen its not as horny as Smokescreen but the constant tension is definitely there. Knockout is just as horny as the depressed, RE-pressed ass Magnus fans and can you really blame him? Boyfriend? Dead. Magnus? kinky. Hotel? California.

/If I missed any let my gay ass know. Sorry if this ones lackluster, but some of these ships don't even really seem to have a fanbase?? Remember that these are TFP ships y'all.

Also I better see more Bulkhead content after this. Do you all have a problem with truly thicc bootyful babes or what?

[akaijisatsu]

Have you ever thought about foxes in Hogwarts? No? Because I did. Hear me out.

(Disclaimer: this wont be accurate to books as they wont be playing in the same team but they would interact frequently)

Dan Wilds ⭐

Nobody will be surprised by this but I would put her in Gryffindor. Shes a strong and brave woman, who doesnt let others tell her what to do or how to think. Shes proud of who she is and would never change for anyone. Also shes very caring and thoughtful about others. Strong woman 👍🔥.

Kevin Day ♟

Ravenclaw. Intelligent and backed up. This guy would stand back while everyone is doing their things and get in if something gets his attention. Captain of Ravenclaw quidditch team. Hes also very neurotic and anxious do I though he would fit here.

Andrew Minyard 🗝

Originally suited for Hufflepuff, but I ended up throwing him into Gryffindor. This guy wouldnt care less about his home, but he was chosen because of his lack of self respect that was taken as braveness. Also he would be thought how to heal there I think.

Matt Boyd 🌟

Hufflepuff. No questions asked. Nice guy, very caring and protective and very talented. I feel like he would play quidditch as a backliner or goalkeeper. And his fav subject would be 100% transformation

Aaron Minyard 💊

Slytherin. Ambitious and focused on becoming better. This guy would go to Ravenclaw but his ambition was bigger. Also he wouldnt care about his house, only on his studies. His fav subject would be spells or whatever the fuck was it called in english idk I've read it only in polish.

Seth 💀

Fucking dead- I mean probably slitherin- idk do I need to add him here?

Allison 💖

Material gworlll... her whole family was in Ravenclaw but guess whaaaat... my girl went to Gryffindor. Do I need to say that her parents were absolutely devastated? She says that Blue doesnt suit her and she feels way better in red. Shes a walking pride and she would rather die than let her someone tell her what to do. Her main focus at the moment is shipping everyone at school and winning bets.

Nicky Hemmick 🏳️‍🌈

Hufflepuff. Energetic golden retriever, would probably run a school newspaper and spend most of the time causing trouble. Also he would be a muggleborn. One of the most helpful people in the whole hogwarts. His fav subject would be DADM or The astrology thingy.

Renee Walker 🌸

Slytherin that everyone mistakes as Hufflepuff. She just seems so cute and nice but as we know she has a really dark side. Shes also caring and ambitious. Also plays quidditch as a goalkeeper. She likes to hang out with Gryffindor.

Neil Josten 🦊

My guy would be in Gryffindor or slytherin I'm not sure yet. I'm leaning towards Gryffindor tho, since hes selfless and brave (or just stupid). This guy would burn the world for his friends and you know he wouldnt regret it. Perfect for Gryffindor.

Bonus!!!

Riko would be a viktor krum of this AU. And he goes to Durmstrang. Change my mind

Jean would get a transfer from Durmstrang to hogwarts and would get sorted to Hufflepuff

JEREMY KNOX IS A FUCKINV HUFFLEPUFF I DONT TAKE CRITICISM.

Wymack would teach flying ofc and Abby is a nurse ofc.

Bee would be teaching about these plants yk, I dont remember what is was called. And Andrew would stay with her after lessons for a talk and to help her clean up the workplace.

Neil and Andrew get together after 6th year and they fight in the battle of hogwart together. Neil almost dies defending love of his life but gets saved by Kevin and Jean fighting off the death eaters back to back.

Dan and Matt are the sweethearts that you can always see in the halls together or in the library studying. Dan would sneak Matt to her dorm from time to time.

Nicky meets Erik during the Triwizard Tournament (Erik is from Beauxbatons) and he instantly falls in love. They start dating one year later and proceed to get married at 24.

Andrew was the one who showed Neil Thestrals and Neil absolutely fell in love with them. They proceeded to visit these creatures quite frequently.

Andrew spends most of his time in the Owlery, His dorm or outside the castle. After he and Neil became closer, he started to visit the Wish Room with him as well.

Neil adores numerology and absolutely hates transformation. Andrew on the other hand loves transformation and potions.

Neil escaped hogwarts 4 times. On his 2nd, 4th, 5th and 7th year. But always came back for Andrew.

Andrew still protects Kevin here, mostly on their 4th year.

Both Andrew and Aaron are pure blood, but Andrew keeps telling everyone hes muggleborn.

Dan on her 5th year almost threw a 7th year student off the astronomic tower for calling someone a mudblood.

Andrew indeed beat up 4 guys for bullying Nicky for being gay. He ended up with little to no punishment and the 4 students had to clean the owlery for 4 weeks.

Renee is the best at spells from her whole year

Allison as well as Neil Andrew Aaron and Nicky never goes home for christmas, and almost all the foxes stay for at least a day to celebrate together.

Kevin and Aaron study together and they are actually a really good friends.

There is no Exy championship but the whole mafia and Riko part plays in the "Goblet of fire" when all the schools compete in the Triwizard tournament. Neil does get kidnapped and Riko does get killed.

I was wondering if I should put it in the marauders era but I maybe will write other post about this. For now they exist along with the golden trio. I hope yall liked the hc AU thingy.

[wingsyouburn]

when your friend knows you have too many wips

@yeetresponsibly asked for five responses to the WIP flower meme, so they’re getting five responses to the flower meme. 

From A Hero Lies In You, my 2017 Power Rangers/MCU crossover: 

Off to the side, Tommy sighed. “This isn’t how we make friends, AJ.” 

“This is how I make friends,” she corrected. “If someone is intimidated by the fact that I can use a weapon better than they can, I would rather know up front.” She grinned at Jason. “Are you intimidated?” 

“A little,” he admitted, shrugging. “And intrigued. Does that count too?” 

Tommy dragged a hand over his face. “Great. Now I’m a third wheel.” 

“Not yet.” AJ patted her twin’s arm and set her bokken aside. “So. Jason. Do you have plans for the rest of your afternoon or was your run the big adventure for the day?” 

From the untitled sequel to A Hero Lies In You:

If Zordon could have, he would have facepalmed. Jason knew that look, because it was the same expression that he saw on his own father’s face time and time again. “I am not familiar with this term, ‘fucked,’” Zordon said. 

“Oh my god.” Trini hid her face in her arms. “Please don’t tell me we’re going to have the birds and bees conversation with a giant floating head on the wall.” 

Billy sat up straighter in his chair. “Oh! I know the answer to this one!” He cleared his throat. “When two people love each other very much-”

“Love is not required,” Zack butted in. “But continue.” 

“-And experience sexual attraction to each other, they may choose to use their sexual organs to-”

“BILLY!” Jason, Tommy, AJ, Kim, and Trini all shouted in unison. 

From an untitled Star Wars fic, in which Anakin would eventually raise the twins on his own in Tatooine: 

While Anakin floated in a bacta tank, the others discussed strategy aboard Bail’s ship. 

Padmé smoothed a hand over her stomach. “I will not be able to hide the baby much longer,” she admitted. “The galactic media was already starting to ask questions before all of this. They won’t be safe on Coruscant.” 

“None of us are anymore,” Obi-Wan reminded her. “Yoda and I, especially. We will have to disappear.” 

“Stopped, the Emperor must be,” Yoda said. “Face him, I will.” 

The bodies piled in the Temple flashed through Obi-Wan’s mind. “Allow Anakin and I to help.” Would he plead with his old Jedi Master? Obi-Wan would do what he had to. “Anakin will be better in a few day’s time.” 

“No. Along a different path, your destiny lies. Carry the fate of the Jedi, Senator Amidala does.” 

Bail glanced between the three of them, confused. “Have I missed something?” 

Padmé straightened in her seat, embodying the Senator she was. “The baby is Anakin’s.” 

“Master Windu’s last transmission confirmed that Palpatine tried to convert Anakin to the Dark Side,” Obi-Wan continued. “Anakin resisted. If Palpatine found out that Anakin has a child…” 

“I will not allow anything to happen,” Padmé agreed. “Jedi or no Jedi.” 

Obi-Wan inclined his head towards her. “I agree.” 

“So. Keep the child safe you must. To the Emperor I will go.” Yoda bowed his head. 

From an untitled Final Fantasy VII Remake fic; Barret at Aerith’s house: 

Underneath the plate, with synthetic daylight, such flowers shouldn’t be possible. But, if what Tifa and Cloud said was true, Aerith was something special. The last Ancient. Wanted by Shinra. 

A woman who traded herself to save Barret’s daughter. 

He followed the path to the top of a small hill, overlooking the property. From here, he couldn’t hear the buzz of the slums beyond, just the stillness of the night. Barret sat on the ground, one knee up, resting his gun arm on his leg. He brought his other hand down, palm flat in the grass, fingers digging for purchase in the damp soil. 

And he breathed. 

And he listened. 

The other AVALANCHE members never quite believed that Barret could actually hear the cries of the planet. Cloud, certainly, brushed it off as the delusions of a fanatic leader. But Barret knew the truth in his bones. The planet was in pain, dying, because of Shinra’s mako energy. They had to be stopped, and to hell what it cost him. 

Barret assigned himself the planet’s protector. He led the others, willingly tore himself away from his daughter and put his life in danger, so the planet might survive. 

Here, in Aerith’s garden, the planet whispered back to him. 

From the original attempt at the fake medium/real ghost prompt - this would be too long to finish in time for Chocolate Box, so I wrote Preserving Life Is As Good As Dying instead: 

Riley Sloane believes in ghosts. The evidence is overwhelming; there’s definitely something happening in the afterlife. 

She just can’t see them. Or communicate with them. 

Her business cards say otherwise: Riley Sloane, Medium for Hire. A real life Ghostbuster. Her parents, if they’d stuck around, might have been proud of her. 

It’s not that she lies to people, exactly. Over the years, Riley’s learned that people aren’t listening for what you say, but for what they want to hear. They’re looking for closure, forgiveness, an apology. Riley gives it to them and pockets a paycheck at the same time. 

Everyone wins. 

Logically, she knows this sweet gig can’t last. Eventually, someone will figure out her truth and she’ll have to get a “real” job. Work at a bank, slave away at a cubicle and despise her life. But not yet. 

Right now, she makes her own rules. She pays her bills and deals in the occult at the same time. There’s always a market for mediums, Riley’s found. Someone always wants to say goodbye, clear the air, get one last message from their loved ones. 

Perhaps she should feel guilty about lying to them. 

She doesn’t. 

No one ever bothers to look out for her, so it’s time Riley looks out for herself. 

[sleeping-lilies]

Title: I Get Tim a Cat Because It’s What He Deserves (oh and i guess a group chat 🙄)

a batfam/wayne family groupchat would literally never happen in canon but it would be so fucking funny you all don’t even know, so i will do it anyways.

the chat just kinda... starts. no one know where it came from. who added them. who??? none of their emotionally stunted asses would be caught dead making making a family chat tf? why can’t any of them leave? they smash their phones and then on their laptop a notification pops up like “you’ve joined ‘x’ group” and they’re stuck there. might as well use it ig, but for what???

“everyone who is alive type ‘i’” no one responds so bruce spends hours trying to find out where their bodies are until he finds out everyone just had the chat on mute

“why isn’t alfred on here” “huh. alfred isn’t on here and no one knows who made the chat?” “so whoever made it just left immediately?” “...” “lol anyways”

tim was trying to send a snap to the core four gc but accidentally sent it to the family chat and gets super embarrassed (of course this happens when everyone’s online why wouldn’t they if it makes tim’s life more difficult) and everyone makes fun of him. duke printed out copies and plastered them all over tim’s apartment while tim was out for something and tim nearly murders duke. after that no one puts the chat on mute because this was too funny.

no one actually, like, texts on a regular basis because they’re not like other families 🙄 they only text if it’s really important or someone’s dying.

that’s being said, “dick where is dog” “send doggy” “dog?” “send doggy” “dick when did you get a dog?” “SEND DOGGY” “i demand you send the dog this instant” “dog now.”

damian breaks into dick’s apartment to take a selfie with him and haley (or bitewing, haley is just shorter to type) captioned “she is mine this is a warning to all of you. i will not hesitate if any of you low lives come near her.” and dick is like “??? this is my dog i can’t have anything these days, siblings take everything, man—” oh ya, everyone reacts to the haley photo with a heart. also dick only lets this shit slide with damian, if jason the problem child pulled this shit it would be on sight lmfaooo

- tim: the dog is cute but, but in photography i learned you have to crop out everything unimportant, like this *crops out damian from the photo*

- in other news, tim joined the dead bats club and now only bruce and duke are left 😃🔪

bruce: check in if you are alive. *everyone’s status is online*

u don’t know about y’all, but my bruce wayne is a responsible father who keeps an eye on his kids, or at least does his best, “has anyone seen duke? he has school and i can’t find him” “i will find him... if you give me $50.” “i will give you the money jason just tell me where he is” jason sends a photo of himself and duke laying down on the floor eating pop tarts.

-“literally why do you all keep coming into my apartment” “our apartment, dick” “i pay for this apartment it’s mine, i keep living in blüdhaven for a reason, god, siblings always steal everything that’s your’s—” it’s ok guys dick simultaneously has eldest daughter’s syndrome and absent sibling syndrome, who is doing it like him? legend behavior. anyways, duke and jason left crumbs on the floor and dick beat them up lmao.

“can i have money” “dad” (theyre sent by same person just different text) “yes cass i will sent you as much as you need, $2,000 is enough for shipping with friends?” “dad can i have money too” “dad can i too” “may i have some too dad” “dad” “dad” fhdjdjsks they only call him dad when they’re dying, want something, or are tattling on each other, someone save him 😩

“@everyone the interviewer in the last segment asked me if we have a family chat and i have a feeling they will try to pry into my texts to see what we are texting, please actually send something so they don’t get even more nosy from our lack of communicating” *someone sends the bee movie script*

ok but like, as time goes on they get more comfy texting each other and acting like a normal(ish) family unit that texts a little more. like tattling.

“someone broke the vase in the hallway and if they don’t want me to tell pennyworth who did it they will buy alfred the cat a new scratching post by nightfall” damian is so funny i love him

“HELPPVHRNXKAK” “what’s up with jason?” “cass is sitting on him” “lol” “i think she’s gonna break his arm fhdjdksk” “ANDBSJ I HAT E YO U A LL” “when did you all come to the manor???”

“😂” bruce vs “lol” dick and cass vs “agdhsjak” tim and duke vs “hA” jason vs “i don’t find any of you funny” damian

“damian i am putting your lemon cake pop thingies in the last bottom shelf on the right, i put the code and everything in the safe” “how often does damian even come to your apartment, dick?” “whenever you’re being an asshole bruce” “he’s always an asshole dickhead 🙄” “exactly 🥰”

“dad guess what” “TIM NOOO” “remember when” “TIM TIM TIM” “you told duke to take the day shift” “I WILL NEVER POST YOUR SNAP PHOTOS TO A GROUPCHAT WITH THE ENTIRE SUPERHERO COMMUNITY AGAIN!!!” “and he agreed to if he did his school work first?” “MERCY, MERCY” “what did he do, tim” “fjdjxkskkz duke goes on school zoom meetings during patrol and pretends he doesn’t have a mic and camera and i was watching his helmet footage and it was so funny, the teachers just believe him when he pretends to have really bad network and can barely type in the chat” “my teachers never trusted me that much” “that’s because you made a kid cry once jason stfu” “wait how did u know that cass—“

“AHDBSNZKAJHF” “stfu duke” “what’s wrong with him where is he?” “cain came to visit” “ohhhh” “FHDJFJDJ HELLPPPXSND” “i know you’re taking a video, you little shit, send it” “no todd come here and take one yourself—or don’t, your presence is unwanted” “fucking brat”

“DAD DICK HIT ME” “DAD JASON’S LYING” *bruce wayne online* (he doesn’t fucking respond fhsjskla) (is it because he’s exasperated with them or crying because they called him dad even though it’s a manipulation tactic or both we’ll never know)

“everyone who is alive, type in chat” *everyone is online* then bruce edits the message to say ‘everyone who wants alfred’s cinnamon rolls, type in chat’ “i guess NO ONE wants alfred’s cinnamon rolls, how sad” and the entire chat goes wild lmfao

ok uhhh let’s do on a scale of 1-10 texts most vs is online the most

bruce: 6-texting, 5.9-online because he always makes an effort to text his kids to check up on them and when his kids are texting he will text as well here and there in the convo to interact with them because he never sees and interacts with them normally and he wants to do better 🥲. he get’s minus 0.1 because of that one time jason and dick were fighting and he logged off agdhsjnz

dick: 3-texting, 3.5-online because he’s the only one in this hellhole of a family that has an actual job (in this house we uphold gymnastics teacher grayson 🙏) and sometimes he won’t have energy to text. so. but he does make an effort when he can. he’s online more than he texts because he’s able to sneak looks at the fights when he has downtime during his job and wants to see the drama lmfaooo. also everything goes on in his fucking apartment for some reason, so now he gotta break up a (one sided) fight between cass and tim because someone has to be a responsible adult.

cass: 2-texting, 10-online because she watches more than she texts? she’s more content to watch what’s going on than to join in. also 8/10 she’s usually the one causing the drama that everyone’s texting about, like beating up the others, so she can’t text while beating them up. i mean she could, but she wants to put more energy in beating them up (lovingly) (cass is basically violence (loving)) and watching what everyone’s saying about her fights. she’s always online to catch a glimpse at the drama. also most of her texts are to dick to see bitewing. and ask for money.

jason: texting-8, online-4 because if cass is the one causing drama offline, jason’s causing drama online. jason wants to be chat cryptic but texts the most lmfaoooo. he’s antagonizing his siblings whenever he sees them and whenever he can’t, king shit. he’s online less because he deadass doesn’t care that much, he’ll read the texts later if he really wants to, otherwise either duke or tim will fill him in on the drama. (“jason ur in the chat too—“ “shut up, tim, now tell me how cass beat damian’s ass)

tim: texting-6.44444, online-10, see tim texts a lot just not to the family group chat lmfao, he has REAL FRIENDS 😤 uhh ya, that’s why he’s online all the time, cuz he’s either texting his friends or on his phone doing some shit. broke: tim stays up late working on cases, woke: tim stays up late texting his friends and playing video games over chat. tim just. interacts with his family, gets bullied by them, ya. that’s the life. also he and duke keep throwing hands because it’s the family curse to beat up tim and in this essay i will discuss how dick is the superior sibling because he never tried to kill tim—wait he probably pushed him down the stairs once nvm but it was totally justified, king

duke: texting-4, online-4 because he has, like, school. and daytime patrol. and is like a junior in high school and therefore has a fuck ton of homework. my boy has no time for family and he doesn’t want it because they’re annoying, obviously 🙄. if he wants drama he’ll go into damian’s room and get the drama. diy icon. he’s online as much as he texts but is so fast of a reader he’ll know the drama in time for the next episode of wayne family shit. most of his time online is picking fights with tim and roasting his siblings to a crisp. he’s so mean, guys, legend has it that one time duke told jason that his helmet looked like a shriveled up dildo and that it could never be the gay statement he wanted it to be jason went offline for that entire day in order to cry himself to sleep. at least he got sleep (allegedly) ayyy duke the problem solver.

damian: texting-1.5, online 2 because the only time he’s texting is to ask dick for photos of bitewing and to send photos of his pets back as proper payment. a negotiator ugghhh father like son. damian honestly doesn’t care about the drama he just wants to sketch bitewing (using the photos dick sent as reference) into the Family Portrait Sketch™️ of the rest of the Animal Family™️. it is an honor for damian to create such a piece, picasso the women hater quakes in his grave as such art that blows his dog shit “art” FAR out of the water is developing. anyways, he goes online for that and to throw random barbs at his siblings. like no one is online and damian just throws a “drake is stupid” in chat and just dips. he’s online more to text the other teen titans and jon because they’re better than his dumbass family (and he texts grayson on messenger so fhdjdjsks) true chat cryptic, jason envies him

alfred: 0-texting, 10-online. huh who said that

“duke take down the tik toks, tim is crying”

“who has my sweatshirt??? i will kill you all” “i have it jason” “nvm cass that’s your sweatshirt now i’m sorry for being presumptuous don’t aTTACK ME” fhdjdjsks

“guys i have the day off do you want to hear when delilah said to jonathon it’s so funny” “are those the kids in your gymnastics class?” “ya” “tell us everything”

the bats just... love hearing drama about those kids because they’re so dramatic. apparently alex threw a rubber ball at maya and she tackled them. wild.

time for a round of: WHO SAID IT?!?!

“how do i make my text bold like the rest of you?” —bruce, dick, cass, and jason at some point.

“how do i change my screen name? please change it back to before” -cass when tim changed her name to “hal jordon #1 stan” (“what is a stan” —bruce), (“i don’t like it either change it back” —bruce after finding out what a stan is)

“what the fuck is a pog” —jason

“fucking ‘tik tok’. we used to use vine when i was a teen. i was a front line soldier of great disasters” —dick on one hand lmfao dick is so old but on the other hand holy shit you used vine??? tell us more about the battles fought

“what is a dilf?” —bruce after scrolling through twitter

ok that’s all, my brain is gone.

“cass dick is turning purple get off him” “no. make him give me my scarf back.” “oh dad that’s terrible can you send a video as evidence?”

“GUYS I FOUND A CAT AND IT SCRATCHED ME AND IM GOING TO THE HOSPITAL BUT GUYS!!! CAT!!!” “drake send a photo of the cat immediately” lmfao bruce zooms to the hospital after that text

“GUYS THE CAT HAS AN OWNER I CANT KEEP THE CAT 🥲” “the one time you could prove to be of use and you fail, drake.” “wow tim, find a cat to steal without an owner next time” “timmy, timmy, timmy, i can’t believe you’ve messed up in finding a cat again” “again?” “again?” “again?” “when i adopt a cat i’m not showing any of you, i hate you all” (lmao hard version of guess who is who i’ll give you a hint dick cass and bruce are the confused ones. )ok it’s not hard anymore.

“dad please get me a cat 😳🐱 haha jk 🤣😩 unless 👀😏😃🙏🥰” anyways tim named the cat starry because of her fur-hair-thingy

“they just so you all know steph just crashed in my apartment and i have work in the morning” “i will pick her up in the morning” “you mean tim will, you don’t have a license, cass. anyways”

“dick do you need help moving?” “no, bruce, i think i can handle it, donna and wally are helping me anyways, but thank you” “mOVING???” “OUT OF YOUR APARTMENT???” “DICK THAT SAME APARTMENT ON 666 HELLHOLE AVENUE???” “...ya?” “NOOOOO” anyways they all break into dick’s new apartment when he moves in, walk around it, and then leave. they just... ya... damn, these bats...

anyways that’s all. see ya.

[self-shipyard]

"I Will (Pt. 3): The Arrival" - A Self-Ship Wedding Fic

SYNOPSIS: The third part of a four-part fic in which everyone gathers in the chapel and prepares for the big moment.

Word Count: 1813

CW: Pre-Wedding Fluff, Mild In-Character Swearing, Anxiety

Tag List: : @guthound, @danieladimitrescu, @puppyships, @ava-ships, @awesomedanganronpaconfessions, @sinners-call-me-baby, @reigenhusband, @that-autistic-team-skull-grunt, @noellojello, @somethingscarlet13, @spookymasonjar, @vanityloves, @valor-selfships

PART 1 - PART 2 - PART 3 - PART 4

The little church rested against the grassy Tuscania countryside. It was a rustic little building, made of old bricks and holding a wooden crucifix over the roof. Its staircase had a white satin stair runner over top and the sides were adorned with wildflowers and lit candles, despite the sun being high in the blue sky. There was even an arch of greenery which framed the church’s big wooden door.

It set the theme for a beautiful August wedding.

Lumaca could just barely see it from the car window and through her veil. The sight of it made her heart race. She might’ve even fainted, had not a hand reached over to touch her shoulder and to bring her back down.

Her eyes darted from the window to Sorbet.

“Are you okay?” Sorbet asked.

“Yeah, are you?” Gelato piped up from his place next to Sorbet, his hand reaching around to pat her lap. “You’re looking a little pale. Do you need anything?”

“I’m fine, thank you,” Lumaca softly replied. “It’s just my nerves...”

“Hey,” Formaggio said from the passenger’s seat. “If it makes you feel any better, just thought I’d let you know that I attended a bee wedding about a week ago.”

“Oh, is that so?” Gelato responded for her.

“Yup!” he continued. “It was nice to know that he found his honey.”

Formaggio and Gelato both laughed at the corny joke and Lumaca simply smiled, taking joy from their laughter. However, Prosciutto, who had been driving for the past fifteen minutes with a bouquet of white roses in his lap, couldn’t do likewise.

“Come on,” he muttered. “That was bad.”

“Hey now,” Formaggio defended himself. “Those two are digging it. Besides, when you got charms like mine, you don’t have to be that good with the words. It’s all about how you deliver it, you know?”

“Hey, look!” Gelato suddenly piped up with his finger pointed towards the window. “There’s Pesci. How long has the boy been waiting out there for?”

“I hope not for long,” Lumaca commented, a pang of guilt in her voice.

“Ah don’t worry about him, my dear.” Gelato patted her lap. “He’s always been so patient.”

After parking the car near the side of the chapel, where other vehicles sat in the afternoon sun, Prosciutto took hold of the bouquet and went to help Lumaca out of the car. Everyone else was quick to follow the pair, with Sorbet and Gelato close behind and Formaggio at the end of the little procession.

Pesci looked up from his seat on the stairs and his eyes lit up the minute he saw them approaching him. He jumped up and rushed to meet them, leaving his basket on the step. Lumaca would’ve met him halfway, if not for the fact that her arm was linked to Prosciutto’s. So instead, she reached her free hand out to grab hold of his.

“Lumaca!” he beamed, holding her hand in both of his. “I knew you’d be here on time! I was starting to get a little worried.”

“Pesci, you mammone,” Prosciutto grunted before Lumaca could say anything. “You shouldn’t have been worried. I wouldn’t have let her miss her own wedding day, would I?”

“Ah.” Pesci looked down. “Sorry, aniki.”

Lumaca watched as Pesci’s nerves dimmed his excitement. Feeling sorry for him, she shook his hands to grab his attention.

“It’s okay, Pesci!” she assured him. “I appreciate how much you care.”

He gave her a soft smile as some of the light returned to his face.

“Thank you Lumaca... You look really beautiful, by the way. You’re going to make everyone’s jaw drop.”

“You think so?” she blushed.

“I know so!” His grip on her hand went a little tighter. “Especially Ghiaccio’s jaw. Oh, he’s going to be so happy to see you!”

“Well, I hope he doesn’t mind seeing a couple extra pretty faces come down the aisle first,” Formaggio piped up with a grin, already walking ahead of the group to the chapel doors. “At any rate, we better go take our places, right Gelato?”

“Right behind you,” Gelato replied, practically skipping along behind him.

…

The chapel was as small on the inside as it was on the outside. It was lit by the afternoon sunlight pouring in through the windows, giving everything a gentle glow to it. Much like the staircase, the sides of the mahogany pews that faced the altar had also been decorated with wildflowers.

Attendees sitting in the pews consisted of a small crowd of people, including other members of their team and some friends of the bride. All of their voices resonated throughout the room, mingling softly with conversations from amongst themselves and even from the groomsmen.

The groom, however, was silent.

Ghiaccio had taken to thinking of Lumaca as a way to keep himself distracted from the nerves that drenched his forehead in sweat.

Memories flooded his head, giving his chest a warm, tingling feeling. He remembered everything, from the day they met and their first mission to their first date and their first kiss. The day they decided to move in together and those happy little moments between then and the evening he proposed.

That look in her eyes as she agreed to give him her hand in marriage… So sweet…

Thump!

Ghiaccio was startled out of his thoughts by the sound of the wooden doors opening. His head jolted up and his eyes went wide behind his glasses. The room fell silent and everyone turned their heads to look at the big wooden doors.

The bridesmen walked in.

Formaggio strolled down between the pews, a serious look clouding his eyes as he focused on the task at hand. Gelato followed behind, regarding everyone he passed with the same curiosity of a cat. They quietly took their places at the bride’s side of the altar, approximately in the same sort of placement the groomsmen had taken.

Ghiaccio’s hand went up to feel his heart rate. It went down, but not by much.

“Fuck…” he muttered to himself whilst pushing his glasses closer to his face

“Ghiaccio,” a voice whispered behind him.

He turned around to see Melone, who had just reached out with his free hand to give him a pat on the back. His other hand held a small pillow, upon which rested a small, silver ring with a sapphire embedded into it.

Lumaca’s ring.

“Remember, we’re here to make sure everything’s alright,” he continued. “Try to relax, okay?”

Ghiaccio gave a quiet hum in response before turning back to resume his thoughts. Only, he found it was getting harder to concentrate, as the thought of her walking in and down the aisle towards him clouded his mind.

That thought made him gently whimper to himself.

…

“You have what I need?” Sorbet asked, his eyes focusing on Pesci and his hands carefully adjusting Lumaca’s veil.

“Oh, of course! Hang on a second,” Pesci assured as he made his way back to the chapel’s staircase.

He took hold of his basket and gently fished his hands through the rose petals. As soon as he felt the two items that Sorbet needed graze his fingertips, his face lit up. Carefully, he pulled out a small pillow and an even smaller sack from the pile of petals.

“You didn’t have anything else to carry those things in?” Prosciutto inquired as he made adjustments to the bride’s bouquet in his hands.

Pesci met his furrowed look with a sheepish grin.

He stood straight up and walked back to the three remaining members of the bride team, bringing the pillow and the sack with him.

“Not really, no,” he gulped. “I uhm… Had to make do with what I had.”

Sorbet held out his hand and Pesci placed the pillow overtop before prying open the sack with his fingers. Within a few seconds, he had a silver ring with a small ruby embedded into it placed on top of the pillow.

Ghiaccio’s ring.

“Hmm,” Prosciutto sighed. “I suppose you didn’t have much of a choice then. I’m proud of you for making do with that you had… All I ask is that you be careful of the petals next time. We don’t need them to be crushed.”

“Okay, aniki; I’ll remember that!” Pesci smiled, too polite to tell him that Melone had already said something similar.

“Thank you so much, Pesci,” Lumaca muttered happily, the sight of the piece of silver and the thought of it on her husband-to-be’s left hand making her giddy. “In fact, thank you guys for your help.”

“We appreciate the thought,” Sorbet told her. “But don’t thank us just yet. Save it for the reception.”

Just then, the pastor poked his head out from between the doors and called for Sorbet to come inside. After giving him a nod and watching him slip back inside, he strutted towards the big wooden doors with the pillow balanced in his palm. He glanced towards Lumaca and gave her a nod that she gladly returned. With that, he pushed the doors open with his free hand and made his way inside.

As soon as the doors closed with a low thump!, Pesci looked towards Prosciutto.

“Aniki,” he asked. “Am I supposed to follow behind him with the flower petals right now?”

“Give him a couple of minutes first,” Prosciutto instructed him. “You’re going to be ahead of us by about a minute so you can scatter the petals around, then you’ll take your place on the groom’s side of the altar.”

“Okay, I can do that…” Pesci hummed as a thought crossed his mind. “You sure do know a lot about being a flower boy, huh?”

“I had to be one for our mother’s wedding,” Prosciutto admitted. “This was before you were born, of course, but I remember it well.”

“It must’ve been lovely,” Lumaca smiled warmly.

Prosciutto smiled back at her.

“It was,” he started to reminisce. “It had been the happiest I had seen her in a long time. A type of joy I can see all around you, in fact.”

She blushed quietly.

“Ah, it’s… It’s that noticeable?”

“It is.” Prosciutto agreed. “And it’s a good sign. It means that this is the start of a long, happy marriage.”

She bit her lip, trying her best not to start sobbing right then and there.

“Thank you…”

The brothers wrapped their arms around her in a group hug. She immediately had her arms around them as well.

“You two will go far,” Prosciutto whispered. “I know you will.”

After spending a long, quiet moment in the embrace, the trio pulled themselves away from each other and Pesci made his way towards the chapel stairs.

He took hold of the handle of his basket.

“I’ll see you both soon!” Pesci beamed at the pair before disappearing behind the doors.

(to be continued at 2:00 PM EST)

[rebelwrites]

Chapter One: The Aftermath

Summary // Chapter List/Masterlist

A/N: so here it is, the first chapter of can love save a life. I really hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing it. And I hope you fall in love with Brooke and Xavier. I would really appreciate your feedback on this as I know it’s not fanfiction.

Enjoy 💜

Join The TagList Here 💜

Laying in the middle of the double bed, Brooke rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. It was far too early in the morning to be awake yet here she was. Rudely awoken by her brother screaming her name from downstairs.

"God dammit" she groaned, fumbling around on the nightstand to find her glasses before shouting back at her older brother “gimme a minute bro”

"Hurry up we are waiting for you" he replied before letting out a loud sigh letting her know that he was pissed off.

Rolling out of bed her feet landed on the floor with a thud, wiggling her toes in the fluffy rug, she reached for the oversized hoodie that was hanging off the foot of her bed. Shrugging the garment over her shoulders she grabbed her phone checking the time.

7.06am.

“There better be a fire” she muttered to herself as she pushed herself off the bed trying to work out what had her family dragging her out of bed before the sun had even risen.

As Brooke got closer to the kitchen she could hear the hush voices of her parents, she couldn’t hear the full conversation but heard the words bike and confiscate , just from them two words she knew that somehow they had found out about the late night adventure from last night an judging by their tone she knew how this was going to go.

Pulling her blonde hair over her shoulder, she pushed the door open to the kitchen, instantly meeting the scowls off her parents. Unhappy wouldn’t even cover the atmosphere in the room. The tension made Brooke feel uncomfortable, as she poured herself a much needed mug of coffee before she faced the impending doom.

"Why do you do it to yourself B" her dad sighed, receiving a shrug off his daughter.

“Look just let me at least get a sip of coffee before you start screaming” Brooke huffed, bringing the mug to her lips. Letting the nectar from the gods touch her soul.

“Brooke” her mother scolded, making Brooke roll her eyes as she sat down at the kitchen table.

“Look I’m young, I want to go out and have fun and thought that hitting the track would be fun” she shrugged taking another sip of coffee “but obviously not, I mean how did you find out what I did last night anyway”

Silence was what she was met with as her father slammed down the newspaper for the day on the table in front of her.

“Delinquent trouble makers break into race track causing chaos”

“You know you get followed by the press with Marvin’s status in the business world” her said sighed “and you think it’s smart to break into the race track, I’m honestly surprised the owner doesn’t want to press charges”

And there it was, the one line she was waiting for. The line that got said every time she did something they didn’t approve of.

Brooke loved her brother and was proud of his achievements but there was a constant feeling of suffocation with the press always trailing her alongside people expecting so much from her.

“Sorry I’m a disappointment” Brooke shrugged, not making eye contact with the people that she called family. “I guess that’s what you get when you get a kid from the pound”

“Bee please don’t say that” Marvin said, placing his hand on her arm as she fumbled with the sleeves of her hoodie.

“We all know it’s true” Brooke snapped “we all know that I will never achieve greatness, I will forever be known as the troublemaker. I mean I’m not even a true Crawford let’s face it. Sometimes I don’t even know who I am anymore”

“Brooke,” her dad said, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Look I had fun last night, I was doing what I love and the only thing that makes me happy. Now if you don’t mind I will take this paper because I want to frame it” she smirked, taking the paper off the table, before pulling her cigarettes out of her pocket. In desperate need of some nicotine.

"Young lady this isn't funny I have the right mind to take your keys of you and sell that stupid bike" her mum shouted. “Ever since you brought that thing it has brought nothing but trouble”

It looks could kill, then the person Brooke called her mother would be dead. Holding eye contact she slid the chair back causing the metal legs to make an ear piercing noise as it scraped along the marble tiles.

“Do you know what, I don’t have to sit here and take this” Brooke snapped “I’m going to go for a smoke and you know work on my stupid bike seen as I have my first race coming up”

Walking into the garage, which was attached to the side of the house. Brooke rolled the door up before lighting her cigarette, a smile creeped onto her face as her gaze landed on her white Kawasaki Ninja sitting proud on the bike stand.

Checking the date on her phone, letting a sigh escape her lips. It was a month until her debut race, the thought sickened her from the nerves, it would be make or break for her. Glancing over to the whiteboard with the list of things she needed to do to the bike. She thought time was on her side but in reality she only had a few weeks to complete the tasks.

As she finished her smoke, her mind was racing. She knew that she would never achieve as much as her brother. She didn’t have the best upbringing, no recollection of her childhood before she was eight years old. Squeezing her eyes closed, she pushed the memories down she couldn’t relive the years of torture it, was bad enough she was still having nightmares but never told her parents because they would never believe her.

Pressing her phone against her ear, the dull dialling tone rang until the groan of her best friend Luna greeted her.

“Please tell me you can tell the time” Luna grumbled.

“Stop groaning” Brooke laughed “look I need yours and Nate’s help with the ninja”

“Girl stop lying, you just want to see my brother bent over your bike” she laughed.

“I’m not afraid to stab you,” Brooke smirked.

“I know” Luna sighed dramatically “be there in ten, good job I love you bitch”

Hours had passed, things were getting completed and the bonus was Nate was working topless. Brooke couldn’t help but smirk as they kept making eye contact, causing her to feel like a giddy teenager.

Hearing the sound of her mother shouting her name, Brooke sighed as you dropped the spanner back into the tool box.

“Ready for round two I guess, I will see you both tomorrow” Brooke huffed “well that’s if I don’t get killed tonight”

“Keep your chin up Princess” Nate said pulling Brooke into a hug, placing a kiss on the top of her head. She swore her heart had skipped a beat.

Trudging back into the house, Brooke went back into the kitchen to find her family still sat around the table.

“You wanted me?” She said grabbing a drink from the fridge.

"B we want you to go live with a friend of a friend for a bit" her father said with no emotion in his voice.

Anger ran through her veins as she kicked the chair across the room, watching it crash into the sliding glass door, causing the glass to shatter.

“You have got to be shitting me” she snapped “just because I don’t act like you want me to. You are shipping me off just like everyone else did”

"We have booked your tickets, you fly tomorrow" her mum said in a whisper.

“Fuck you all” Brooke spat before running through the frame of the glass door.

Everything she loved, she was being ripped away from. Without even a thought for her. She should have been used to the pain of abandonment by now but this one stung worse than the rest. These were the people who became her family, for the last seven years they were the ones she thought were in her corner and had her back. Turns out this wasn’t the case.

Slumping against the large oak tree, Brooke pulled at her hair before screaming into the air. Leaning her head against the rough bark as she sparked a cigarette letting her mind wander to what was the last night of freedom.

Leaning against her bike, Brooke watched as her best friend ran full speed towards her.

“Bitch look out" Luna screamed as she jumped over the wall coming within millimetres away from crashing into Brooke’s bike.

“Girl what have I told you about the bike" Brooke scolded Luna as a smirk played on her lips.

"You and this bloody bike B" Luna laughed as she snatched the helmet out of Brooke’s hand securing it on her head “Where to then?”

"Well my friend we are gonna take little ninja here to the track and see what she can do" Brooke smirked as she flicked the visor on her helmet down.

Looking ahead as Luna wrapped her arms around Brooke’s waist, under the helmet Brooke was grinning like a teenager as she saw Nate’s car, followed by the flash of the headlights.

“Hold on bitch” Brooke shouted back to Luna as she squeezed the throttle, speeding past Nate’s car.

Soon enough they pulled up at the gates of the track, her foot felt for the kickstand. Flicking the visor on her helmet up she pulled the paper clip out of her leather jacket. One of Brooke’s many skills was lock picking. However her breath got caught in her throat as she felt two strong arms wrap around her waist.

"Hey trouble ready to have some fun" Nate breathed down her ear.

“Stop distracting me” Brooke giggled as she continued to work the lock.

“But it’s fun” Nate whispered, his lips grazing Brooke’s ear as he spoke, his thumbs running over the waistband of her shorts.

"Let's do this" Brooke grinned as she finally cracked the lock.

[phoenixyfriend]

Sasuke/Karin, 48+100

Fanfiction Trope MASH-UP Rules: Send me two (2) tropes from this list + a ship and I’ll describe how I’d combine them in the same story.

48. Fake Dating 100. Accidentally Saving the Day

Okay so I have been struggling with this one because it just feels really mean to Karin but I finally have an idea.

Takes place after Sasuke kills Itachi, but before he goes after Killer Bee.

Also available on AO3

————

“I’ll stay with Sasuke-kun!”

Karin latches on to Sasuke’s arm and presses her cheek to his shoulder. Sasuke doesn’t want anything as little as he wants human contact right now, but there’s a pitch in Karin’s voice that isn’t usually there, and her nails are digging in to Sasuke’s arm. It’s enough that he doesn’t immediately shake her off, trying to figure out what she’s getting at.

“Oh,” the man who claims to be Madara says, voice low and rough. “I wasn’t aware you two were so… close.”

Sasuke isn’t close with anyone. Not Taka, not Naruto, not Sakura, not Ita–

“Hn,” Sasuke says, looking away. Karin giggles in a way that sounds like someone else, someone that doesn’t have scalpels in her soul, and rubs her cheek against his arm. She nuzzles, like a cat.

“Aren’t you a little young to be sharing a bed?” Madara asks, tilting his head.

“Aren’t we a little young to be international criminals?” Karin challenges back.

Madara scoffs. “Teenagers.”

He disappears in a whirl, right into his eye, and Sasuke moves away from–

Her lips press to his ear, and she whispers, “he’s still watching us.”

She pulls back, and when he meets her eyes, there squeezed half-shut, looking at him over her glasses. There’s a blush in her cheeks, an embarrassed smile on her face, and she tucks her hair behind her ear nervously. “I mean, um, if you want to, Sasuke-kun.”

Sasuke doesn’t remember how to smile. He doesn’t remember what it is to act like he enjoys somebody’s presence. His soul feels like it’s scrubbed raw, clawed open, scooped out and filled back in with pitch and tar.

He inclines his head, and says, “I’m… not in the mood.”

He just killed his brother, and Karin is implying that she suggested something like out of those dirty magazines Naruto used to look at for ideas on that stupid pervy jutsu of his.

“Of course,” Karin says, with a soft smile that does not belong on her face. She’s acting like–like Sakura. Sasuke doesn’t want soft and sweet around him. Soft and sweet get ripped up and spit out by the world. He picked Taka for a lot of reasons, but they’re all Oto brats. They’re all assholes, even Juugo sometimes. “I’ll stick to my side tonight, okay?”

There is no ‘her side.’ They’ve never shared a bed before, except that one time all four of them had been on a single mattress, and that was only because the bed had been big enough for six. For some reason. It was cheap, he hadn’t questioned it.

“Thank you,” Sasuke says instead. He meets Suigetsu’s eyes and narrows his eyes just a tad. He almost casts a genjutsu to share information, except if Madara is still watching them somehow–and Sasuke trusts Karin, if she says he is–then there’s no way to do it either handsigns or Sharingan, both of which Madara would notice. Sasuke isn’t that good yet. Very few people are.

“Let’s lie down,” Karin suggests, a hand on his upper back propelling him towards the bed in this room. Sasuke doesn’t want to leave Juugo with just Suigetsu, but whatever’s going on must be important. It has to be.

Karin wouldn’t be pulling this shit if it wasn’t.

She changes a few feet away from him, as if it’s normal for him to see her half-naked, which it isn’t, even if she’s seen him nearly naked for battle reasons, medical reasons, onsen reasons and…

Well, Karin doesn’t strip as often as Sasuke does. Most people don’t, but Karin is even more concerned about keeping her body covered than, like, that one Hyuuga in his Academy class. Karin’s got her scars, and that’s more than reason enough.

Sasuke wonders if Itachi had scars. If he’d--

“Hey.”

A hand lands on his shoulder and squeezes. He doesn’t shake it off, much as he wants to. “What.”

“You’re spiraling,” she says, like they’re actually together, and not just... whatever this is. “Come back to me.”

Is this what couples are like? He’s not sure he likes it. Sasuke’s not sure he likes anything right now.

“Come to bed,” she coaxes, like they’ve done this a million times. “You’ll feel better with some sleep.”

“I’ve been asleep for days.”

“No, you’ve been unconscious for days, it’s different,” she insists. “Listen to the medic.”

Karin isn’t, technically speaking, a medic. She’s a biological researching with a working understanding of the human body. She’s the closest he has, though. She’s probably right about this.

“Hn,” he says, but slips into bed anyway. She follows, and pulls at him when he tries to curl with his back to her.

“Sasuke,” she says, a request and a reprimand all in one. “Let me see your eyes.”

He stiffens, and her hand presses lightly to his shoulder.

“Please?” she asks, and the faintest pulse of chakra on his lightning-charred pathways taps out ge-n-ju-tsu. “I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

He rolls over and lets his eyes come to life, meeting hers and trapping them both in... it’s not Mangekyo, not yet, he doesn’t want to bleed for this, to bleed away Itachi’s gift on a farce of subterfuge, but there’s a bit of time-compression anyway. He knows how to do that much.

“Oh thank fuck,” Karin swears. “Thank you for playing along, Sasuke, you have no idea wh--”

“Talk,” Sasuke says.

She blinks, and pouts, and huffs, and adjusts her glasses. “That man is mad as a hatter and I don’t know exactly what his intentions are, but they’re not anything good.”

Sasuke crosses his arms and waits.

“He’s lying about being Madara, obviously,” Karin says. “And he’s... I don’t know, he’s got some technique that lets him be here-but-not, probably a variation on that teleport he showed off. I think he’s spying on us after he leaves, so I needed an excuse to just... yeah.”

“Okay,” Sasuke says. “What else?”

“Whatever he said about Itachi and the village... he’s holding back the whole truth,” Karin says. “He told some of the truth, and obviously I can’t tell exactly what he’s hiding, but there was... I dunno, satisfaction? Vindictiveness? He was, like, proud. Of Itachi getting pushed into killing the clan. I don’t know if he was involved in it or not, but my money’s on this fake Madara manipulating the clan, Itachi, the Hokage, or... I don’t know. All three? Anyone else that was involved? I don’t have enough background information to know for sure.”

Sasuke’s mental representation of himself squeezes his fingers into his biceps. He can’t keep this genjutsu up much longer without it getting suspicious. “Is he still watching us?”

“Yes.”

Fuck. “I still need to kill--”

“Sasuke, no,” she says, coming closer. “Please, just... just hold off on the revenge until we know more about what’s going on.”

“But Itachi--”

“Sasuke, please,” Karin says. “You killed Itachi. You did that, because you didn’t have all the information, and you were being manipulated and lied to by people older than you. What did I just say was happening?”

“You said he told the truth,” Sasuke says. “That Konoha--”

“FUCK Konoha,” Karin says. “Who do you trust more, me or the guy that wears a full face mask and lies about being a hundred-year-old relative?”

“But--”

“Who do you trust?” Karin demands. “Me or him?”

Sasuke doesn’t trust anyone.

“He is telling you what you want to hear,” Karin says, teeth grit. “But you met him a few hours ago, and he’s clearly incredibly suspicious. Please listen to me when I tell you that it makes more sense to collect information first. Hell, we can break into Konoha’s archives if you want. We can, I dunno, find your old team captain and tell him what fake Madara told us, and get him to break into archives for us. But, Sasuke, please remember that you picked us. You picked this team, and part of the reason you picked me is because I am the best goddamn sensor on the continent, and I know when people lie.”

She’s not wrong.

But... Itachi.

“We’ll talk again in the morning,” Sasuke decides, and breaks the genjutsu.

Karin pouts at him for a moment, and then wipes the look away and smiles at him, kind and pitying. “It gets better,” she says. “Eventually. Usually. Um, I mean, we’ve all lost a lot, but Juugo killed his parents by accident when he was four, ya know? He probably has all that ‘similar life experience’ stuff going on.”

“Can we not talk about this?” Sasuke asks, trying to talk like a... he doesn’t know. Like an upset boyfriend, maybe. “Just... I need to sleep.”

“Okay,” Karin says, and tries to take one of his hands. He pulls it away before she can touch it, and she freezes, then pulls her hand back to her own chest. “Good night, Sasuke.”

“Good night.” He sounds stilted even to his own ears. Hopefully, fake-Madara will attribute that to the trauma and grief instead of the awkwardness of not actually being in a relationship with Karin.

-------------

From there on, things drift sideways into Sasuke making slightly better decision on account of not trusting Obito as much, and trusting Karin to tell him when something’s a bad idea. He still makes bad decisions, because that’s just who Sasuke is as a person, but those decisions tend to skip over things like “attempts to kidnap Killer Bee” and just goes straight for Danzo. Obito is tired of his shit, but so is Kakashi, so Obito lets it slide. Sure, he’d rather have the Hachibi in the statue, but Sasuke’s causing grey hairs in a man that Obito half-hates and half-is-in-love-with, so it’s not all bad.

Zetsu does not agree, but Zetsu’s opinion is trash so we don’t care.

Technically Karin’s choice to fake date Sasuke in order to get him information does save the day, if only in the sense that the world is slightly less-fucked-over by the end of the fourth war, because Sasuke was faster about getting his head out of his ass.

[none-of-your-biscuits]

Chloeka head canons because we really be dying over at Cap's

-Chloe asks Juleka to help dye her hair in a fit of rebellion and this is how their friendship starts (don't ask me what color I'll cry)

-Juleka teaches Chloe how to ride a motorcycle and drive a boat, Chloe hates it at first but then it's really fun

-Juleka snatches chloes sunglasses and puts them on her head to do her patented Chloe Impression™ but Chloe is too gay to be offended

-meanwhile Chloe snatches juleka's jackets

Chloe: *shows up to school wearing a big black jacket*

The class: *confuzzled*

-Chloe lets Juleka do her makeup and then regrets it's slightly because now she's face to face with Juleka and she's just having gay panic

-juleka's hair is so soft and Chloe often asks if she can braid it, one time she started putting little braids in juleka's hair when they were sitting together on some class trip without noticing and several people are just staring and it's the funniest unless you're Chloe who now has to try and explain herself

-I know I say this with every Juleka ship but

-h e i g h t d i f f r e n c e

-sabrina and rose are aware of their best friend's crushes on each other and actively try to set them up

-okay sad time

-Juleka sees how audrey treats Chloe and just wants to throw her into the seine

-Anarka does throw her into the seine it's very satisfying to watch

-Juleka has a panic attack and Chloe talks her down from it like she used to do for sabrina and adrien

-juleka and chloe spill their parental trauma to each other after juleka has a nightmare

-Chloe can and will beat the shit out of juleka's dad if she ever meets him

-Chloe is moderately jealous of rose because she gets to be publicly affectionate with juleka

-(don't worry after they are publicly together Chloe hangs onto juleka like a koala, pda queen)

-after they do get together (probably by some sappy shenanigans) they walk into school holding hands and everyone is shocked meanwhile adrien, sabrina and rose are like: y'all didn't know??

-Chloe and rose have an actual cuddle with juleka schedule because neither of them were willing to back down

-Chloe brings juleka soup when she's sick and juleka brings Chloe flowers and they just vibe

-(juleka will drink her soup directly out of the can, cold. Chloe is absolutely horrified)

-anarka meets audrey once and throws her into the seine, queen.

-luka and rose give Chloe a shovel talk while adrien fails miserably at trying to shovel talk juleka, but sabrina is scary

- “Remember that time you had Sabrina lock me in the bathrooms and I turned into a Cotten Candy Clown—“

-class power couple

-Chloe starts wearing heels more because "damn it why are you so tall", juleka takes this as a challenge and shows Chloe her ultimate move of being able to run in heels

-okay but queen bee being the one to give juleka the tiger miraculous and the team immediately knowing it's juleka because qb started flirting with her

-Chloe gets really sleepy in winter because, bee, and takes lots of naps on juleka

-qb getting injured really bad and everyone finding out juleka is really scary when she's literally trying to claw someone's face off and succeeding

-*remembers streaked with purple au but makes it chloeka* oh no

-Chloe going to kitty section concerts please-

-the couffaine family has a communal dart board they all put pictures of people they hate on, it currently contains: Roger Raincomprix, Bob Roth, Audrey

-juleka just thinks chloes eyes are really pretty okay, no this is not too much staring it's not enough staring

-Anarka just being, so excited because, look her girl got a girlfriend, look at my daughter

-Luka and Chloe get along really well actually

-Juleka and Mayor Burgeois get along pretty well actually, chloe's dad is pretty cool

-soft flirting

And because both me and cap are self indulgent I give you

Chloeka: Pathera Noire style (bonus: spoilers)

-Chloe having a crush on juleka and then developing a crush on pathera: oh fuck

-if you've read it, remember that body pillow scene? Yeah

-we semi-saw adrien get his ladybug body pillow so I assume Chloe got her pathera one

-pathera helping Chloe be a better person as queen bee

-Juleka accidentally slips into her pathera persona a little bit and oops Chloe is dead on the floor

Pathera knowingly points to pathera body pillow: what's that

Chloe: oh guess I'll die

-alya, being saved by ladybug: *waves to chloe who's being saved by pathera*

-hardcore flirting

-Chloe finds out pathera purrs and melts

-marichat balcony scenes but it's chloeka

This is all I've got but feel free to add

Tags for people who helped a bunch:

@justanotherpersonsuniverse @k41z3

[fanficsforheartandsoul]

GREMLIN AU

@smhalltheurlsaretaken has motivated me to draw some Grandpa Yoda stuff and god, I just came up with some new things that are definitely canon now because I decided so, don’t @ me. 

Also I don’t give a shit about canon in general, Yoda is a grumpy gremlin now, whose ears are like Stitch’s from Lilo & Stitch, and the clones are his sons. End of discussion. 

Grumpy Grandpa Yoda™ living with his children who take care of him later, they age like normal people and it’s just a happy funny family AU:

Yoda lives with 10 clones he was able to save on Dagobah

There’s a lot of mud and swampy stuff and creatures and the clones HATE IT

At least at the beginning, later the begin to love it and I can guarantee you there are sooooo many mud fights - Yoda disapproves

Yoda takes Commander Gree, Draa and Buzz (Doesn’t make any sense I know but who cares bitch) and other soldiers from the 41st Stormtrooper Legion with him

Hades, Ace, Eli, Beetle, Fox, Rook and Essi 

together with the other three and the gremlin they build a big family

they build some rather crude houses but there not exactly architects, right?

Later, they get better and all of the clones have an individual hut

The distance between the clones and the former grandmaster of the Jedi order seems like a giant canyon at the beginning and they call Yoda “Sir” for a few years

until the clones play a game of truth or dare and one of them is dared to make the Jedi change his sad demeanor for once

Yes, they play games

A lot actually

It’s like they’re finally having their childhood and puberty although the look like adults

imagine 10 grown ass men racing through the swamps of Dagobah

The Jedi has been mourning for the Jedi, the knights, the padawans, the younglings for a long time and the clones know

They see the absent-minded gremlin stare outside the window and they feel sad too

after all they do know how it feels to loose trusted friends and companions although not in that big capacity like the Jedi purge

But well back to the dare 

one of the clones, Ace, is seriously thinking about how to make the little dude smile or at least shock him and he’s wracking his brain because never before has he seen the Jedi master surprised

so how is he gonna do it?

one evening, after everyone went to bed and the Jedi draped the bed sheets over him with the help of the force, he has an image before his eyes

and the next morning when there’s a heated discussion over who becomes the last jelly pudding, Ace blurts out “Grandpa should decide!”

and everyone just stops

Grell who gave Buzz a head nut is just turning and looking at him

Draa paused his spoon mid air, mouth wide open

Hades and Fox just blink, the latter still in a headlock

Eli almost dies because he choked on his milk

The other three who dozed at the table are suddenly wide awake

and then a voice says: “The pudding, Rook should get” and all heads turn

Master Yoda is smiling softly and the bois suddenly have the feeling of “must protect this gremlin” and from that they on they just call him “Grandpa”

Not without teasing Ace to death first, obviously

A lot of jokes get thrown around

“Now that I think about it, I see the resemblance.” “We have the same face, you idiot.” 

Only Grell is a hesitating and just calls him “Yoda” but secretly he likes to say it too

They wear their armor for a long time before they finally take it off, mainly because they’re scared of the Empire finding them 

They want to be ready for battle any time

But then Yoda takes off his Jedi robes and the boys gradually relax and take of their helmets and armor too

Now the get stung a lot by mosquitos

And the bois discover that the gremlin likes to eat a lot of disgusting things

But the mosquito problem gets solved so no one is complaining

Yoda changes a lot

He shows his emotions more and sometimes even loses his patience

His walking stick becomes a weapon for head nuts

Grell gets a lot of them because he always tries to help him but

“Not that old, I am, boy!” 

“Alone, I could’ve done that, Grell.”

He plays with the bois

The often play a ball game where Yoda lets the ball float and the guys try to catch it without being hit in the face

The current count is 142 to 19 with Grandpa clearly winning

Rook is a fucking sewing machine and they soon get to wear custom clothes

He knits a super long and super heavy scarf for Yoda because he “worries that Grandpa will be cold in the winter”

The scarf is literally 3 meters long and I guarantee you that the clones have to unwrap him like toilet paper every evening

Rook is right, Yoda is cold in winter and his bones hurt a lot more

One time Yoda forgot his walking stick and Buzz just straight up holds his hand and walks with him like a toddler

Few years later, when he’s even older and a little wobbly on his feet, Fox and Eli like to carry him around on their backs

Beetle, the absolute crackhead, carries him like a baby

Grandpa always complains but he secretly likes it because the child isn’t a stone hard washboard like the others

They send holograms to Obi-Wan, the responsible uncle and Hades’ beard role model, and the Jedi has questioned the gremlin’s choices so many times already because of the weird ass pictures

Obi-Wan sends them holograms of little Luke in return and the bois are LIVID, because “OUR COUSIN, LOOK AT HIM WADDLE, GUYS”

The clones and Yoda go on holiday trips - which are basically just visiting another swamp on Dagobah

So many puns and inside jokes

“WHAT are you doing in my swamp?”

“GET OUT OF MY SWAMP!”

Laughing

so much laughing

And dirty jokes

Only out of Yoda’s earshot though

The boys grow up, ok?

Eli is good at drawing

He’s the one who painted most of their armor and their battle ships

But for Sith’s sakes he can’t draw Yoda at all

His pictures still hang on the fridge tho

And all kinds of other stuff hangs there too

Yoda’s hut has all sorts of trinkets everywhere

All of them were gifted to him by the boys and some of them are just some sort of weird metal that “looked shiny or nice”

But the Grandpa loves them SO MUCH

When Yoda gets older, his hearing gets a lot worse and his ear muscles deteriorate which is why he’s constantly walking around with flabby ears

The boys have to repeat their sentences 

When the gremlin doesn’t like what he’s hearing he’s just pretending he can’t understand them but Grell KNOWS

When he meditates too long or sits too long without eating, the boys force him to eat something

mostly frogs - he likes them a lot

They make sure he brushes his teeth because that frog smell nasty

and they brush his hair, but it’s mostly Grell because he can ignore the gremlin’s attitude when it comes to taking care of himself

Yoda makes Obi-Wan send pictures of some locals on Tatooine, trying to subtly set the boys up

They aren’t Jedi after all

A little happiness, they deserve, hoho

The boys find it funny but never try to contact the person because it’s too dangerous

This makes Yoda sure that half of them are gay

Not that he minded

They just have an embarrassing talk about the bees, and Adam and Steve

And he’s telling them the story of “Jal and Argo” some members of his species he met on a little moon and yada yada yada

MAKER, he loves to tell stories

The ears of the clones almost start to bleed, he talks so long and loud - he can’t hear his voice properly sometimes and starts to randomly YELL

But they like to listen, although half of them are always asleep at the end

and receive head buts when grumpy Grandpa notices

But he never hits them hard, especially not Beetle

He seriously worries about that guy

“make sure he doesn't lose any more brain cells, I have to”

But the clone’s head is really hard so might as well be fine

BONUS: ugly ass 10 minute sketches

YODA’S SPECIES HAS THE CAPABILITY TO MOVE THEIR EARS LIKE STITCH, I DON’T ACCEPT ANYTHING ELSE

[kineticallyanywhere]

I'd love to hear those fusion thots :eyes: the pacific rim ones were V good

If you’ve been around this house for a hot minute you might know that fusion aus are My Entire Jam Garden so you might imagine I’ve already put some thought into this and you would imagine right. The following was brainstormed in consort with @aryashi my second brain. 

The basis for this au is that fusion is possible in the forgotten realms and is just a thing people there can do. This also applies to sudden interdimensional travelers. 

tl;dr I wrote basically a one-shot’s worth of words down there but in short fusion is rad but also there's an unexpected amount of drama. which is basically a summary of the podcast but replace "fusion" with "fatherhood"

(preface: fusion is not a sex metaphor, just like pacific rim. Platonic fusion is normal. Familial fusion is normal. Okay, continue.) 

First inter-dad fusion: “I silence his dumb ass with a kiss” except its “I silence his dumb ass by accidentally fusing our bodies and consiousnesses into a single being w h o o p s” 

I like to name fusions as something other than their romantic ship name so let’s call him… o h yeah we named all of Henry’s fusions after animals. So this guy is Hare (like Darryl). Hare is pretty stable from the outside, but their internal dialogues clash really hard so they're incredibly slow to make decisions. 

Internally, Henry feels like he's crossed Darryls boundaries. They have to hold it, but he lets Darryl take the wheel and all similar mistakes are made. They make it through the thing with the Lance before unfusing. Darryl has no idea what that was and already has a lot of intimacy issues, so he’s not particularly inclined to try that again for funsies. Henry is curious, but there’s a buried part of him that’s making him deeply unsettled by the whole experience. He can barely have a straight thought about it, much less articulate the feeling, so he doesn’t try. He lets it go. 

First sons fusion: When the Lord of Chaos throws back his robe, yelling “Dad! !” it’s a GIANT Lark&Sparrow. They’re like trying to fuse two rubies together, you just get a bigger ruby. This changes a bit later, when the twins start to diverge from each other vis a vis Love Wolfism, but basically the Lord of Chaos is an Oak Twin the size of their dad. But still looks 12. It probably actually takes the Love Wolf speech from Henry and their divergent reactions to get them to unfuse. 

Second inter-dad fusion: That other time Henry and Darryl smooched while high on drug flowers. It was very unpleasant, they don’t talk about it, they don’t try that again for a while. 

They get a book on fusions from the Library that reads almost like a birds and the bees talk and there is minor culture-shock panicking about whether fusion is Like That, but something in Henry is telling him “No. It’s not Like That.” He doesn’t really know why he’s so solid in that belief. He understands that fusion is unique and powerful and a wonderful thing, but something about doing it is just… getting under his skin. 

Third inter-dad fusion: Glenn and Ron. I’m not even sure the exact context or anything. Maybe they were just vibin’. All I really know is that I imagine these two occasionally fuse for the weirdest things, like

Fourth inter-dad fusion: also Glon, fishing magic items out of a giant toilet. They needed to be taller. 

Glon is… gosh, what the heck is Glon. Performative out the ass, for sure. Down for basically anything. Allowed to wear bootie shorts. 

Back up a hot minute though, because first dad-son fusion: almost happens on the Tower of Terry. It comes so close. They’re in that hug, and Ron thinks maybe if they fuse, the magic won’t take TJ. Or even if it takes them both, that’s better than TJ getting taken alone. They don’t have to say “I’m sorry” or “I love you, son” out loud, but before it really takes, Terry gets ripped away. Because Willy can’t have that, can he? 

Fifth inter-dad fusion: is Glon again, but the circumstances are way different because Ron just saw the mummy of his wife and Glenn is trying to help him breeze past it and it works until it doesn’t and they fall apart with Ron a crying mess. 

Sixth inter-dad fusion buckle up because we’ve reached Ravenloft. Before dad-fusion 6, Henry gets caught in his dad’s claws. He feels something very familiar and rejects it with everything he has, and escapes to grab Glenn. Then he gets hit by Calm Emotions, Glenn reaches up, trying not to fall, and Henry is already super chill about everything all of a sudden, so when Glenn tries to fuse out of panic, Henry goes for it. 

Gila—Henry and Glenn—can do actual bard magic. They’re like Opal, in that a single moment of disconnect is enough to snap them apart and finding that disconnect is not difficult. But when the situation is saving their kids and telling their asshole dads to get lost, that’s plenty enough connection to cast an actual magic-ass thunderwave with a guitar and maybe a bit more. 

(Barry didn’t like that.) 

So another fun thing about adding this factor to cannon is that this lets the dads have glimpses inside each other’s heads. So certain conversations could change a little bit. For example, in the van while they’re driving away from the Ravenloft fight and Henry’s explaining a few things. 

Henry: I don't have a lot of memories from that time in my life—  Glenn: Not a lot? Try "not any.” Henry: Glenn—  Glenn: Dude, none of my business, but your brain was weird.  Henry: Glenn.  Glenn: Like did the government get to you when you showed up on earth or—   Henry: Glenn what the fff—rick are you even saying just shut up Darryl: …

Darryl had noticed, too, but Glenn has other fusion experience to compare with. Henry could catch glimpses and imprints and trains of thought which ground in different points of Darryl/Glenn’s entire life, and Glenn and Ron can do that equally with each other. But a bunch of things for Henry, if you try to backtrack to where the decision comes from it just. Stops. Especially with using magic, which Glenn got to do. And Henry’s thoughts on fusion end dead hard. 

(filtering all of this through Freddie’s headcanon that Glenn always figured Henry was from Faerun but was just wildly wrong about all the details is so much fun)

This is the part in the fic series where there’s a one-shot about Henry having a panic attack just outside of the camp at night, and the most he can explain is just that something about seeing his dad again set him off. 

And then we get to a lighter turn for first dad-son fusion but for realsies this time: Ron Stampler nat 20s to hug his son and then also is the son. And that dad. And dads are supposed to be inside to do a ritual for a demon cow. 

RJ is the sweetest dude. Also if you don’t sit on him he will wander off and do the most extreme version of the first thing that comes to his mind for a problem solution or release from boredom. And he will not tell you about it in advance, so seriously. Sit on him. 

So they stand there for a second like "yes... Yes. Yes... Okay. Im... I'm the dad. But I'm the kid? But im. The dad. And all the other dads are also the kid so... Dad... Trumps kid status. And I'm the dad... Cool." and they go in to help with the demon cow. 

The kids are flipping out outside. 

Henry spots them and drops the cage, almost like he’s Garnet and just spotted Stevonnie. While all the other dad’s are freaking out/fawning/curious, Glenn lifts their glasses and theres four eyes and he drops the glasses and never mentions this again. 

Rj: hi um. I'm a dad.... Yeah. So I'm here tooooooo frickin kill a demon cow let's do this Rj: got the good dad vibes comin out of my butt

For realsies though Terry should be outside, so they unfuse for the cow thing and the bbq but then Dennis happens. 

Second dad-son fusion: Dennis: are you sure you've got this?  Ron: i can do it  TJ: he can DO it dad GIVE ME YOUR HAND

RJ’s an arcane trickster and it’s real cool and Dennis looks so jealous ha ha ha and also they separate after the fight and suddenly Terry’s unsettled and needs to talk to Ron for a second because “Hey Dad is Dennis not real????????” 

Third dad-son fusion: is way less eventful, but who the heck can say no to more reasons to cry about the Wilsons at the tail end of the Supper Bowl arc? 

Fusion is not a replacement for talking, but it is a bit smoother in communicating emotions. It doesn’t happen until the end of their talk, when Darryl’s got his arm around Grant. I don’t think either of them are super attached to this whole fusion thing, (If Grant is, it certainly wasn’t his dad he’d been thinking about trying it with. Maybe one of the other kids… “maybe Terry.”) so they may not even pick a name. Henry certainly cries at least twice as hard, but when they want to just get something to eat and maybe just hang out for a while, nobody pushes. 

I think the most important part of this is that it gives Grant a kind of… emotional break. Lets him feel something nice again— like he does in the show, too, but in a way that’s a bit more stable while it lasts. Like the feeling when you’re a kid on a long car ride with your parents, one that ends in getting home late and you’ve fallen asleep and they carry you out of the car. 

Good things for Grant Wilson for til forever. 

Somewhere in that arc, though, Glenn approaches Henry by themselves. Glenn’s not really a feelings guy, but whatever’s going on in Henry’s head is a problem. It’s a one-up the o-dads have on them, and they can’t afford that right now. 

Glenn: so you like... Really don't hardly remember being a kid?  Henry: Glenn, I don't want to talk about it  Glenn: I bet your dad's gonna wanna talk about it  Henry: well... i don't care what he wants  Glenn:... You seriously don't know how you got to earth?  Henry: [exasperated] the frick are you-- I got to earth like anyone else, Glenn. You know where babies come from, right?  Glenn: of course i fucking know where babies come from. A mommy and a daddy love each other very much and then their kid runs away so hard he skips dimensions  Henry: wh-- wait you-- do you think I'm an alien?  Glenn: obviously  Henry: Glenn that's-- [sighs, rubs his face] Glenn this isn't the kind of time for your conspiracies  Glenn: hey as far as I'm concerned, a man who sleeps with an axe under his pillow is a fool every night but one. and you shoot poison from your hands and shape shift into bears

Which adds nicely to the slide of heading to Oakveil next

Henry: y'know what. When we leave here, we can get my kids next.  Glenn: your interdimensional kids  Henry: to prove to you you're being crazy. Again.  Glenn: De Nial is a river man, and we left it back on earth

And one more dialogue bite, because…

Glenn: claim your powers latched onto you from this world all you want. But that language you and your dad spoke, didn't come out of the air, it came out of the door in your head

...fusion means the other dads get to learn about the metaphorical brain door. 

This brings us into the most recent arc, heading into Oakveil. He and Ron sneak in, and Beary tells Henry he’s home, and pieces start to click together. Henry’s from this world, so he understands why he’s had such a particular view on fusion and that basic cultural understanding. That it’s considered normal. And that it’s even normal for a kid’s first fusion to be with their parent. Their parent who loves them and knows them wants to see them grow. 

Bear Ry’Oak is not that. 

First O-dad fusion: Henry’s first fusion was with his dad. 

I think the worst thing is that, when fused with his dad, Hen doesn't feel like he's not himself. one of the interesting things about the Oaks is that they're kind of all slight alterations on the same traits. Like as gross as it feels to admit, Beary is just Henry but with the condescension turned up to a billion and his high horse is basically an elephant and no self-awareness or care for how others might have different perspectives from him

But Beary is still so overwhelming to Henry that it just flattens pretty much anything that makes Henry, Henry. Specifically the parts that Barry dislikes. like Henry's anger. To directly quote Aryashi: “Beary thinks using fusion for combat is barbaric. obviously fusion is for Conflict Resolution. Fuse with Beary so he can sort out your disagreement with him!”

(and then bathe in bleach)

So Beary finds them in Oakveil and Henry starts panicking and he tries to Handle Henry like he did when Henry was a kid, fusing with him to stomp down on his feelings to cut a panic attack or outburst off at the pass. If Henry's in no place to fight back it usually works, but if Ron's there--literally pressed against Henry's back--to see the fusion coming, maybe he reaches for a fusion, too, and lets Henry's instincts choose which pull to follow, and Henry's instincts choose Ron.

Seventh inter-dad fusion: Wren is suddenly there before Beary can even start his attempt to coach Henry through breathing (his half-effort to help Henry and be able to say that he tried freakin hate him) and is sitting on the ground and the disgusted look Beary gets seeing this. (Fusing with an outsider is something he considers so beneath his son.)

Beary:... Ah. Ronald.  Wren, existing, suddenly, and mostly being Ron's processing power as Henry's mental wheels try to slow down to match Ron's pace (cultivated through a childhood of dealing with Willy) rather than amp them both up: uhm... It's just Ron, actually Beary: would you mind... (there's other people around so he can't say "decontaminating") liberating my son. (as if ignoring the role his son had in choosing this fusion over his) Wren: Henry is uh... (me? Not me? Yes me, not up for this, we should go somewhere else that usually works fine, we can just leave and find the others and that'll be fine) he's good. We're good, we're gonna... (looking at the other people who look like Henry and the "not amping each other up” thing is working less and less)  Wren: bye

And then they just stand up and fast-walk away

Wren is either chill af and rolling with every punch or the living equivalent of a coke bottle that you popped a whole roll of mentos in and then closed immediately. At this moment, it’s very much the coke bottle side. Beary lets them go because he knows Henry will be back, and they make it just outside of town to where the others have just shown up before they fall apart. 

Ron: We found the door!  Darryl: what door?  Ron: the one in Henry's head!  And all the dads know what he's talking about Glenn: did you open it?  Henry: no  Ron: a little bit  Henry(probably now starting that panic attack): the anchors in there  Ron: his dad came out of it  Darryl: his dad???????? Henry, vulnerability, Oak: I AM FEELING VERY VULNERABLE RIGHT NOW AND I HATE IT  [chorus of mumbled sorrys] Ron: oh also Oakvale is Henry's home Darryl: WHAT Glenn: Uh hey anyone gonna pick up the phone cause I FUCKIN CALLED IT Henry: That's not my home! My home is with Mercedes back on Earth! Glenn: Yeah, this is just where you were born.  Henry: Glenn I swear to God-- Glenn: Dude lay off, I was agreeing with you! Home's where the heart meds are and all that jazz Darryl: Wait, you have heart meds? At home? When was the last time you took your heart meds? Glenn: Uhh... not since I came here? It's fiiiiiine. Never felt better! Ron: Not to interrupt but Henry's on the ground breathing funny. Glenn, are you sure you don't have any heart meds? Henry: being hugged by both of his sons in a simultaneous way that is not their normal simultaneous way (i.e. the Lord of Chaos way): WHY ARE MY SONS TALLER THAN ME Glenn: I'm more surprised that they're hugging you  Lord of Chaos: to assert dominance! Any moment now, we will turn this hug into a suplex!

And that basically brings us to now? I want a Triple Oak Fusion (the King of Chaos) but with how the fight with Beary went I’m not sure where it’ll go. OH YEAH. 

Autumn stopped fusing with Hen even when he was a kid because she couldn’t stand to see how much her son craved the approval of that evil man who stole her life away. And whether or not Henry ever fuses with anyone ever again after finding out he’s got Eldritch in him has gotta be up in the air. 

And at this point I could easily be convinced that the next inter-dad fusion is Darryl and Glenn, those beautiful idiots. They could be… Denn. Glarryl? We’ll workshop it. 

[twilightofthe]

Chapter Thirteen liveblog of The Mandalorian Season 2!  Let’s go!!!

AAAAAAAAA THIS IS THE EPISODE

Thirteen sure is that lucky/unlucky number...

Ok so caveat that I read an online article with a bunch of “leaks” about this ep and if true I’m gonna dislike a LOT of this ep lmaoooooo

Aight so THIS IS VERY DARK BAD FOR MY EYESIGHT

Guessing this is the Ahsoka planet?

Sounds like a warning bell, let’s hope it’s not another Alaskan bull worm/Krayt

Oh nope just shooting people

oh SHOOT THERE SHE IS

Daaaaaamn they didn’t take five seconds

Ok but why’s she fighting them

Dammit Star Wars let me see the ful Ahsoka makeup and outfit!!!  Turn on the lights!!!!  Let me IN

ALDSFLKJSK WAIT THAT MAKES AHSOKA THE KRAYT THE WARNING BELLS WERE FOR HER AHAHAHA

CHAOS BABE

ok but i love that she calls herself a Jedi

alksdjLKSDJFK WAIT WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO HER MONTRAILS THEY SHRUNK

Ok fine the makeup looks p good

Aaaaaand the theme to make me Emotional

Lady she doesn’t need to learn anything from you she’s had too many teachers already

Lady you Vastly underestimate how willingly Ahsoka will kill YOUR ass

This ain’t her first siege and you ain’t Mandalore bub don’t try her

Yeppppp it’s called The Jedi

The leaks have been right so far let’s hope the rest aren’tttttt

Oho so it looks like this is a lava planet too?  Dang Ahsoka following family tradition

“HEY WHAT DID I TELL YOU” god Din is a DAD

AND BABY LISTENED TO HIIIIIIIIM HE’S SUCH A GOOD BABY YODITO DID YOU KNOW I WOULD DIE FOR YOU

this little shit seriously using the Force improperly again bruhhhh you def need SOMEONE to teach you control

Damn Ahsoka you live like this?  Needs more decorations

BABY I WOULD DIE FOR YOU MY DARLING SON

MAYBE you should get him some ACTUAL TOYS huh Din?

Is there deadass anyone who’s not trying to steal Din’s armor?

Ok I adore his little side satchel for Yodito

Bruh since when is walking right in and immediately asking suspicious questions gonna do anything for you

Ooop he got caught by the Dai Li

Oh yay public torture fun!

Hmmm more Asian influence in this episode I see

“A Jedi plagues me” PFFF aka the motto of the prequels

OK SO HOW FUCKING MANY PEOPLE IN THIS GALAXY KNOW ABOUT THE JEDI/MANDO BEE AND WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT IT

Uhhhh that’s a big pointy stick lady

Ohhhhh beskar big pointy stick

Ooop we got conflict, Din’s heritage vs. Baby Yoda’s, what will he pick.....

DON’T QUESTION THE BABY DUDE

FOR FUCK’S SAKE DIN PLEASE ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR SON PROPERLY

Bruh she’s gonna jump you 

Her Gandalf cloak fits right in with the landscape

For fuck’s sake pleASE STOP JUST RANDOMLY PUTTING DOWN AND IGNORING YOUR SON

Yeppppp and here comes the sneak attack

draMATIC ASS ROBE DROP LIKE HER LINEAGE BEFORE HER

pleasecallhimaBabyYodaAhsokaPLEASE

ALKSDFJSDLKFK I’D DIE FOR HIM LOOK HOW CUTE

OK WHAT?  WE DEADASS MISSED HER FIRST REACTION TO HIM????????

FUCKING COWARDS

Lol staring contest at your old frog grandpa but babified, must be weird

Awwww she still likes kids

Sidenote that yeah they really did just fucking shrink her montrails AND lekku she looks like she did at 14 again

NO

NO

NONONONONONO

THAT’S DEADASS THE WORST NAME YOU COULD HAVE COME UP WITH Y A L L

I am NOT calling him that.  Y’all can’t make me

OK BUT LITERALLY NONE OF THIS MAKES SENSE

HOW WAS HE TAKEN?

It surrounds us binds us blah blah blah

UH YEAH BUT LUKE’S EXISTS NOW, RIGHT?  COME ON, AHSOKA

Ahsoka your idea of testing is making blind teenagers look for crystals while you swing a lightsaber at their face maybe not yet

Every time they call him Gr*gu it makes me die a little more inside

OK HE LITTLE DAD HEAD QUIRK I LOVE THAT

NO DON’T MAKE HIM CALL HIM THAT

Ok also but I would die for leetle baby’s grunting noises

OMG THINKING OUTSIDE THE BOX, HIS TOY HE LIKES

HE’S SO PROUD OF HIS SON I’M GONNA CRYYYYY ;_;

Ahsoka he is a baby tho?  Like uhhhhhh this ain’t the same as Anakin

Uh, Din, Ahsoka doesn’t have to worry about that kinda shit, she’s faced waaaaaay worse

Ok so this Elspeth is another ex-Imp

Ok FINE this is gonna be a cool-ass teamup

Ahsoka u drama queen

DRAMA QUEEN AND YOUR DRAMATIC ENTRANCES

Ahhhh I see she’s the flashy Jedi distraction while Din frees the prisoners

Ok but where is Yodito during this

MORGAN’S master?  So Gideon, right?  Or does Ahsoka know Palps is back

Awwww that first man was gonna help the prisoners too!  He IS brave!!!!

LOTH KITTYYYYY!

Oooop we having an old western shootout?

DRAMATIC ROBE DROP PART 2

Oh fuck no we aren’t recanonizing beskar being lightsaber-proof, are we?

Dammit I thought that was how we ended up with the Darksaber in the first place!  Because Lucas did NOT want to do that-- for fuck’s sake of course they are

This boi really tried that fake-ass negotiation, he should know better

OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE

T H R A W N

REALLY?

you BETTER STILL BE LOOKING FOR EZRA.  THAT BETTER BE WHY.  I’M NOT EVEN FUCKING JOKING.

Oh yay they saved the Earth Kingdom

OH NO THE TRACKER

OH NO HE LEFT THE BABY WITH THE SHIP

THE TRACKER FROM LAST EPISODE OH NO

NONONONONONONOOOOOOO

I HAVEN’T EVEN SEEN IT YET BUT I KNOW THE IMPS TOOK HIM

DIN DJARIN YOU FUCKING JACKASS THIS IS WHY YOU DON’T JUST LEAVE YOUR FUCKING SON AFUCKING-LONE-- oh ok he’s fine nvm lol

WAIT BUT THE TRACKER’S STILL THERE????

The Imps are DEF gonna find him soon this is the 6th ep of the season and there’s only 2 more

THANK YOU AHSOKA TELL HIM THAT IS HIS SON

Ok I’ll say it again Din Djarin you fucking dumbass

Ohhhh we recanonizing Tython now

LADY LUKE IS REBUILDING.  I GET THEY CAN’T EXACTLY BRING IN YOUNG MARK HAMILL BUT FOR FUCK’S SAKE AT LEAST ACKNOWLEDGE MY BOY LUKE THANKS

Aaaaaand scene.

OK BUT THESE BITCHES CAN NOT JUST ACKNOWLEDGE FUCKING THRAWN AND NOT EZRA.  DAVE FILONI YOU CREATED HIM.  YOUR OWN CHILD.  YOU CAN’T JUST IGNORE EZRA LIKE THIS FOR FUCK’S SAAAAAAKE

Ok so deadass everything in the leaked article was true and I’m gahhhhh over a Lot of things

Hmph