#*backstreet boys voice* oh my god we’re back again

[crazyw3irdo]

(masterlist)

[oknowkiss]

microfic may - day 1 - yearn

*extremely backstreet boys voice* oh my god we’re back again! just like last year, all of my @microficmay entries are connected into a larger story. this year i’m shoving harry & draco even further north, to a seed bank in the arctic.  50 words. no rating. drarry.

“You’re late,” Draco calls down a long hall. Harry squints, darkness sharp after weeks outside.

Harry’s polar kit is heavy with snow; he lets Draco’s echoing footsteps come to him.

Draco looks warm. Clean, rested. Harry’s opposite even here, at the end of the Earth.

“Did you remember my Maltesers?”

[spideyspeaches]

Take me to Church ↬ a.r

requested by @merceret​: Arvin and cheerleader!Reader sneak off during the night and have smut in his car in the woods? 👀🙃

A/N: this is a repost from my old account!

Warnings: unprotected semi-public sex ( *whispers* they do it in a caaaar 👀 also don’t be a loner, cover your boner ✌🏽✌🏽 ) LOT OF SPOILERS IN THIS!! Bad attempt at writing like a 64 year old man from Ohio.

MINORS DNI

WC: 1.5k

Pairing: Arvin Russell x Cheerleader!Reader

Masterlist || taglist

Arvin was a smart boy. He had been told that countless times by his mother before the godforsaken disease took her away, and his daddy too, before he started beating the shit out of him.

He didn’t doubt that a minute in his life, but then he grew up, wondering what went wrong. He was not the same doe eyed boy anymore. He liked to think that he was strong, not like his daddy used to tell him before a good spanking.And he definitely wasn’t a sinner, no, he was just a victim of God’s wrath. It wasn’t his fault that the boys made fun of his sister, they all deserve the beating they got.

Breathing in the cigarette, he blew out the smoke before it could burn his lungs, or kill him from the same disease that killed his ma. He was sitting on the front porch of his school, watching as people went by. The jocks wandering around the field, some of the artistic ones sketching while eating their lunches, and then there was the cheerleading squad.

He watched. It’s what he did a lot. He watched as cancer took his mother, he watched the way the fake Preacher looked at Lenora.

“You know, one of those sticks take six minutes of your life.” A voice spoke behind him. You sat besides him, your cheerleader costume showing your smooth legs and your pretty smile, hair done in an updo.

“And how would you know that?” He smirked, looking you up as you blush. God you looked so pretty, blushing like that. He watched you too. How you would roam the halls with your pom poms and those pompous sons of bitches that teased his sister. But it was never You. You were a sweet little girl, always got As in all your tests and all.

“I always tell that to my daddy to get him to quit. Tell him that it’s six minutes less he gets to spend with me.” You said, taking the stick from his hand and smashing the butt on the ground. You fiddled with your skirt, accidentally hiking it up your thigh.

“Did he listen?” He asked, looking at You as You smiled.

“No.”

He looked at you again. You were looking at him with your shiny eyes, all innocent and bright. He wondered what you would say when he fucked you hard against his old car, scoring through the woods and scream his name until you were sore. Shaking himself from his head, he saw you biting your lips. He wasn’t even sure You liked him like that.

Craving for another smoke, he fiddled with his hands, taking your hands instead, looking for a reaction. You didn’t snatch it back, but instead, straddled his lap to pull him into a heated kiss. Your nails scraped at his hair, the smooth strands getting ruffled up as you push your lips on his, uncaring of the others around them.

You moaned against his mouth, the sound going straight South. Taking your waist, he squeezed them lightly, crazy happy that he was making out with You, Y/N L/N, under the bleachers like some cheesy films like those in the Carnivals.

“You wanna ditch class?” He asked after sometime, heaving for a breath as you licked your swollen lips. Your makeup was a little smeared, but You still looked beautiful. His heart sped up, uncharacteristically, a strange rush of excitement flooding his veins.

“Yeah. How bout the woods?” You said, getting off from his lap. He was glad the ground was almost empty, wouldn’t want to get caught by some old janitor or a nosy freshman.

“Sounds good to me.” He said and crashed his lips into hers to steal another kiss.

                                      _______________________

“Oh! this is good” You whimpered as he slammed your back to the hood of his car, gripping you in his strong hold as the cicadas and crickets chirped, the bright sun hitting your naked chest through the windows, making it slick with sweat. You were in a forest, and were sure that no one would come now, and with the noises you were making? No one would dare come near the shaking car.

Kissing him with your swollen lips, you gripped his muscular back as he nipped you, eliciting another moan from you. He grabbed your legs, hiking up the skirt that you were still wearing. God the damned skirt, you wanted it out of your way. Slipping your hands to unlatch it, you were stopped by his hands as he slid his own on your clothed pussy. Stripping you, your breath hitched as he inserted two fingers, your clit slicked with pleasure.

“Ohh Arvin, hmm.” You breathed into his ears, enjoying the way he shuddered when you said his name. Pulling for a moment, he looked you up and down before removing his boxers awkwardly, head slanting because of the roof, his thick cock springing out like nobody’s business, making you clench your thighs.

Shoving your thighs, you hooked your legs around him, pulling him down as he slid in your entrance. “Are you sure?” He breathed as you nodded in response, stroking his chest that made him clench, his abs more visible under the sunlight.

“Come on baby, I’m waiting.” You teased, scratching your nails along the V of his stomach. Arching your back, you grunted as he thrusted into you, your walls closing in as your hips clashed against each other.

“You like that baby girl? Like it when I’m inside you?” He cooed, making your stomach coil in pleasure. Momentarily, you gave up the sweet girl facade, your heart racing as if you had run a marathon. How could it be tame? when he was inside you, making you feel all kinds of things?

“Yes, I do Arvin, oh Jesus you’re amazing!” You jerked. You weren’t sure when you had had such a good fuck before, and sure enough never this fast had you reached your high. And Arvin? Jesus, he was a sight for sore eyes, his eyes clenched as he pushed inside your walls, hitting your g-spot, making you gasp in pleasure. His muscled chest vibrating as you felt your stomach tighten.

“Saying God’s name like that while we’re fucking? You wanna be a bad girl now?” He smirked later, not really meaning what he said. If it meant that you would be saying his name with that pretty mouth of yours, he wouldn’t mind it.

“This is not sin, baby, this is pleasure. Call it what you want but I said what I said.” You drawled, pulling yourself up, his hard dick still inside you as you sat up, taking his face in your hands and hovering your lips over his. “You’re so sweet Arvin, you wanna fuck again?”

“I would love to.” He said shakily, leaning forward to capture your lips again. You dance along like that, him kissing your mouth, and your neck, then your breasts, leaving marks all over you, The Backstreet Boys playing on the junk radio of his car. “You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.”

“And you have the prettiest little lips.” You said, holding his chin and delicately caressing his soft lips and leaning in for another kiss.

                                 ____________________________

The next day you saw him again, acid washed jacket and backwards cap, striped T-shirt that fit him quite snugly. He was walking with the girl again, the girl who the boys teased relentlessly. You didn’t understand why they did so, make a poor girl question herself when those whores out there were just as bad. Lenora was a sweet girl, you liked her.

Running towards him, you quickly fixed your sweater and skirt, taming the strands near your shoulder.

“Hey Arvin!” You said nervously. He had been a gentleman to you. He looked up smiling, telling Lenora to make her way as you, lighting a smoke on his way. Scowling, you took the stick out of his mouth.

Looking down, he smiled, “Hey Y/N.”

He was fiddling with his fingers again. You took his hands in yours, tracing the veins on his arms. You saw his pupils inflate like a balloon.

“So um, do you have practice today?” He asked, biting his bottom lip and giving you a tentative smile.

“Nah, coach called in sick today. Do you wanna go to Mickey-D’s?” You ask. The school lane was almost empty now, buses leaving to drop off the kids.

“Sure, I don’t have no work today anyways.” He stuffed his hands in his pocket. He was a handsome boy, and you felt extremely lucky that someone like him had asked you to do him in the backseat of a car. Not only that but he was sweet but not enough to not stand up for himself or the others. With a start, you realised that he wasn’t like the other boys in your school.

Handing him his smoke back, you let your hands linger on his shoulder for a moment, cupping his cheek. You leaned in, feeling his hands twitch, and kissed him. It felt nice.

[raysofcrosby]

CHANCES – M. TKACHUK

requested: yes | no

warning(s): none that i can think of.

word count: 5,066

listened to: chances by the backstreet boys

inspiration: mixed luggage au [ i can’t find the og au-prompt masterlist, but if this is your au idea, lemme know and i’ll link you for credit (: ]

authors note: listen– i don’t know what it is, but i’ve literally been on a tkachuk thing lately. like, i used to despise this little curly-headed gremlin, but now??? it’s all hearteyes motherfucker. this is purely a writing to help me get back into the writing groove again after these last six months of nothing– so i might be a lil rusty. anyway, i hope you enjoy <3333

part two | google doc w/ all parts | my masterlist | stuff i have planned | who i’ll write for | requests

I’m sorry Y/N, but if you’re not here in the next 5 minutes I need to keep going.

That text haunted you– it was all you could think about the moment you got off of your flight. The uber your sister had ordered for you was close to canceling– all because there were too many planes taxiing on the airstrip and your stupid flight ended up circling in the air for thirty minutes. If this were any other airport, no doubt you’d be screwed. Luckily though, you knew good ole St. Louis Lambert International like the back of your hand. So getting from point A to point luggage claim would be no problem at all. The only delay would be the luggage getting put out onto the carousel.

Which of course, did prove to be the problem at hand.

You were the first one from your flight at the carousel and hoped to be gone before any disgruntled passengers you managed to bump into, could show up. Unfortunately for you, just as the bags were being loaded onto the carousel, your fellow passengers were arriving too– more than a few giving you a look that would normally result in you rolling your eyes in response. Yet, your focus wasn’t on them, it was glued to the small carousel door, keeping an eye out for your suitcase.

Teal bag with a grey handle. Teal bag with a grey handle. Teal bag with a grey handle. Teal bag with a grey hand–

“Ah-ha!” You smiled, catching eye of your suitcase and rushing to meet it instead of letting it eventually make its way to you. You grabbed the suitcase and extended the handle to drag it away, already walking towards the exit.

One minute.

You had one minute to catch your uber before they left you and you hoped and prayed that luck was on your side and the black Toyota Corolla just happened to be parked near the door you chose to exit from. The warm summer air of the Missouri summer weather practically smacked you in the face and it fit wasn’t for the awning covering the pick-up zone, you would have no doubt been blinded by the sun too.

“Oh, thank God,” you sighed, catching sight of a black Toyota Corolla that your sister said to find, parked just six cars down to your left. You sped walked to the uber, coming to a stop at the window and waving at the driver, catching her attention. “I’m so, so sorry I’m late.”

The woman, probably in her early 60’s gave you a friendly smile instead of the scowl you were expecting. “Are you Y/N?”

“Yes ma’am,” you replied, nodding.

“Go ahead and put your suitcase in the trunk, it’s opened for you.”

You walked to the trunk and lifted it open, placing your suitcase inside before closing it and walking to the back passenger door, getting into the backseat. “Again, I’m so sorry for making you wait. We had to circle in the air for 30 minutes because of the traffic on the airstrip and,” you exhaled, relaxing back into your seat. “I’m so sorry.”

She laughed, pulling away from the airport. “It’s no problem sweetheart. I saw your reply. I was going to give you a little extra time. I know how hectic airports could be. Especially this time of the year. Everyone’s traveling for vacation.”

“Yeah, I think I might have accidentally elbowed one too many people trying to get to luggage claim.”

“Are you visiting or coming home?”

“Coming home…kind of,” you laughed, staring out the window at your hometown. “I actually just graduated from college a few weeks ago, so my roommates and I rented a house on the Jersey Shore to celebrate. But, my sister is getting married tomorrow, so that’s why I’m back.” You looked back towards her, laughing softly to yourself. “But then come September, I’ll actually be moving to Calgary for a new job and to get my Masters.”

“So a lot of traveling, I see.”

You took a deep breath and sighed, nodding. “Yeah, but I’m glad to be able to spend all of this time with my friends and family before I start working. Especially since I’ll be moving so far away.”

“It sounds like a great time,” she smiled, looking at me through the rearview mirror. “I’m a sucker for weddings, why don’t you tell me about it?”

Normally, you weren’t one to talk a lot whenever you and your friends would take Ubers downtown on the weekends– but this driver was sweet and you found yourself talking nonstop as she drove you towards your final destination. After all, she didn’t abandon you at the airport like you thought she would.

~

The car ride to your parents' place went by a lot faster than you thought it would and it was all thanks to Mrs. Sheila, your lovely uber driver. Whom, you learned, started driving after she lost her husband late last year. Her kids lived out of state and once they went back home after those first few weeks, she wanted to find something to do to keep herself busy and get herself out of the house– so, she became an uber driver.

Walking into your parents' house, you were greeted with empty echos of your footsteps. Your parents were still at work and wouldn’t be home until just a little before the rehearsal dinner tonight. Your brother, well, as far as you knew, he had absolutely nothing going on, so you didn’t know why he wasn’t around. If anyone was guaranteed to be home, it was your sister. She was the one who ordered your uber and had them take you here, so she was more than well aware of what time you’d be arriving home.

“Hello?” You called out, leaving your suitcase by the door and making your way to the living room. “Char, are you here?”

“Is that my favorite sister?” You heard her voice call out from upstairs. Looking up, you could see her rounding the hallway corner, carrying a closed laundry basket full of, no doubt, stuff for tonight’s bridal party sleepover.

“I’m your only sister,” you laughed as she made her way down the staircase.

“Unless you count all of the times we got bored and turned Nick into Nikki,” she giggled, reaching the end of the staircase and putting the basket down before stepping forward and hugging you. “How was the flight?”

“It was great up until our 30 minutes of circling in the air,” you laughed, pulling away from the hug. “Where’s my dear brother?”

“Working out with some friends. We probably won’t see him until tonight.”

“Nothing says welcome home like being greeted to an empty house.”

“Excuse you, I was here to greet you.” She laughed, picking the basket back up. “But if you really want to be upset, you should see all of the packed boxes in your room.”

“I leave in three months! Why are they packing me up now?” You gasped, acting dramatically.

“Nick and dad are planning on transforming it into some kind of training room or something.”

“But they–“

“Already took over the garage? Yeah, I know and mom is pissed.”

You rolled your eyes, grabbing the handle of your suitcase again. “He literally told the Blues that he was going back to Michigan in the fall to try and win a championship. Why the hell are they even treating him like he’s already a hall of famer?”

“Perks of being the youngest, not to mention dad’s only son,” she laughed, looking at the door. “Ready to head to the Airbnb?”

“Can we get food first?” You asked, dragging your suitcase along. “I’m starving.”

She laughed as you held the door open for her. “Good, because we’re most definitely getting food before we go and take a nap.”

You laughed, walking out of the house with her and then closing and locking the door behind you. “I knew we were related.”

~

Lunch and a nap turned out to be exactly what you needed. The two of you had stopped at a subway to get some food before driving over to the Airbnb that you, your sister and the rest of the bridesmaids would be staying for the night.

It was a beautiful three-bedroom, modernized cottage that looked like it was stripped directly from the pages of a fairytale book. It was tucked away, just off to the side in the backyard of a beautiful colonial house, whose farm would tomorrow be transformed into a whimsical fairytale wedding location. The men would be getting ready in the house, while the women would be getting ready in the cute cottage. Sort of like a secret getaway paradise before the wedding.

When you got back with your food, your sister took you on a tour of the property while the wedding planners and staff were setting up all of the bigger decorations for tomorrow. You were off at school during the entire planning process, only ever seeing every one of her ideas in pictures. The only things you were able to take part in, were the dress shopping and her bachelorette party since they were both held at a time you were on a fall break from school. Besides being there for those two things, the only other thing you helped with– was the proposal.

Colton has been in your life for as long as you could remember. He and Charlotte have been best friends since Pre-K. It was the cliché friends to lovers kind of story that was told time after time– but in theirs, there were no other people in it. It was just them. There were no other boyfriends or girlfriends, no other crushes– from the very beginning, they were it for each other. They were each other's first everything– kiss, date, girlfriend/boyfriend, time– in their love story, they had found their one great love…all before they turned five.

Wherever Charlotte was, there was Colton– they were stuck like glue and your parents loved it. It was their friendship that brought both of your families together to the relationship that you all had now. Your families were best friends, all because of their relationship. You often took vacations together, spent holidays together, hell, you and Colton’s middle brother, Mason, even had joint birthday parties– as did your two younger siblings, Nick and Addie. Your families even try to go as far as to dropping hints that all three kids should date.

Colton and Charlotte. You and Mason. Nick and Addie– all the same age and practically family already.

It was perfect.

Until you and Mason tried to date in the tenth-grade and realized that kissing the person you’ve shared every birthday party with, used to take baths with and shared every key moment growing up– wasn’t all that great. In fact, it was weird. So the two of you remained as the almost black sheep of the families, especially since Nick and Addie were headed down the same path as Charlotte and Colton. They started dating in eighth-grade– like Colton and Charlotte– and have maintained a healthy and strong relationship to now, even long-distance, when they’ll both be sophomores in college in the fall, Addie at the University of Missouri and Nick playing hockey at the University of Michigan.

You and Mason were there, always making jokes about how it runs in the family but skipped a generation. Never letting your siblings live it down that the two of you will be the ones to break the cycle. Funny how you two were also the ones who played the biggest roles in Charlotte’s engagement.

Both of your dads are huge St. Louis Blues fans. So naturally, they tried to rub that off onto their children. And it worked, all except for you. You tolerated the blues, but never really adopted hockey as your favorite sport. You understood it, watched it whenever you never had a choice– but like your mom, you gravitated more towards football and adopted her hometown team as your own– the Pittsburgh Steelers.

Colton and Charlotte, however, were both diehard Blues fans from day one. There were even pictures to prove it. They even went to a game on both their first ‘supervised’ date and ‘unsupervised’ date. So, when the Blues were making a run for the Stanley Cup– it was imminent for your families to attend at least one game. You and Mason did everything in your power to get the Blues attention. You emailed anyone and everyone who worked in their front office, you spammed their social media accounts– anything and everything to get their attention so you could share their story and Colton’s plan.

And at game four it all came to life. Charlotte was ‘randomly’ selected to participate in an intermission event after the first period where she’d be blindfolded and needed to walk along the ice to find Louie after collecting ‘Blues momentos’ along the way. The Blues had played the short slideshow of Colton and Charlotte that you and Mason had sent them, as they introduced her to the crowd. Unbeknownst to her, both of our families were on the ice with her, standing behind her while she was blindfolded. You and the other three siblings were scattered in front of her, each holding a single rose.

The Blues staff member helped her walk along the ice and the moment that she took a flower from someone, they needed to go back to where she started, which was where Colton was standing with the ring in his pocket. The four of you each had a sign, that when held up together read ‘Will you marry me?’ Once Charlotte neared Louie, he cut the distance to just by center ice where all of you were waiting. And when she found Louie, the entire crowd had erupted into cheers as she took off her blindfold, all smiles until she turned around to see the signs and Colton on one knee.

She said yes. The Blues won. The proposal went viral and your families were given a box to game seven where the Blues won the Stanley Cup.

All in a day's work between the two middle siblings, and one that led you all to this moment– the wedding tomorrow. Where Colton, who was already like a big brother yo you, would officially, pretty much become your big brother.

“Y/N,” your sister said, shaking your arm. “Y/N, get up. We’ve got like 45 minutes to get ready for dinner before we have to leave and no offense, but you need to shower.”

“Your lucky that you’re getting married tomorrow or I’d kill you,” you mumbled into the pillow, taking a deep breath and exhaling before pushing yourself up. “Can you charge my phone for me? I won’t take too long, just need to rinse off and I’ll be back.”

“In your backpack?” She asked as you walked out of the room.

“Mhhm, small front pocket. The charger is with it.”

You walked out of the room and into the connected bathroom, closing the door behind you before walking towards the shower and turning on the water. Your nap was more than enough to help you make it through dinner. You hadn’t thought that you were even that tired, but the moment you laid down to relax after eating your sandwich– you were absolutely knocked out.

To be fair though, you had spent the last two weeks partying it up on the beach with your college roommates, trying to relive every moment from your last four years of partying, downing booze, and making out with any attractive guy who caught your eye. You know what they say, no rest for the wicked– and boy, oh boy, were the wicked actions of shotgunning beers with strangers in the hot summer jersey sun, coming back to haunt you.

At least you got one hell of a tan and more memories to last you a lifetime, out of it all.

You turned off the shower before you stepped out and wrapped a towel around your body, then wrapping your hair up in a second towel. You walked out of the bathroom and back to the bedroom, only to find it empty. "Hey, Char?"

"In the living room...er, kitchen, I guess!"

You walked out of the bedroom and into the living room to see Charlotte sitting at the kitchen counter, a make-up mirror propped up in front of her and hot curling iron in her hand. "Why are you doing your hair in the kitchen?"

"You were in the bathroom and the lighting is lacking in the bedroom." She let a curl, fall from the iron and turned to you. "What's up?"

"Well, for one, the bathroom is free," you laughed, looking around. "And two, I was wondering where you put my suitcase? It was in the room and now it's not."

"No," she dragged out her reply, focusing on wrapping another piece of hair around the iron before averting her eyes towards the door. "You left it by the front door. Never brought it in."

You turned towards the front door and sure enough, right there not even three feet away from the door...was your suitcase. "Awesome, thanks!" You said, walking over and tugging on the handle, extending it out before walking back to the room. "And my phone?"

"Charging in the kitchen. It was dead by the way."

"Great," you huffed, walking into the bedroom and over to the bed. You lifted up the suitcase, letting it plop down onto the bed and exhaled a deep breath. It was a lot heavier than you thought it was. But maybe your body was just tired from traveling and last night's final night out.

You caught a glimpse of the alarm clock that was set up on the bedside table and saw that your getting ready time was vastly starting to dwindle. So, not thinking anything more of the heavy suitcase, you unzipped the zipper and threw the cover back, ready to grab the romper you had placed directly on top, just so it wouldn't get wrinkled. You stared down at the contents of the suitcase, quickly grabbing the cover and shutting it again.

Okay, maybe you were imagining things.

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, exhaling, and then opening your eyes and opening the suitcase again.

No, you definitely weren't imagining things.

The same spike ball netting was still staring you right in the face. Surrounding it, were three spike balls and a crumbled up bag that was supposed to house the set. Beneath it, a bunch of crumpled up clothes and other things.

"No," you shut the suitcase again, repeating the same steps: close your eyes, take a breath, hope you're dreaming, open your eyes and then the suitcase, only to be disappointed. "No, no– oh my God, this can't be happening. Charlotte!!"

You heard her footsteps echo off of the wooden floor as she made her way to the bedroom, half of her hair curled and set. "What?"

"This isn't my suitcase."

"Of course it is," she scoffed. "Colton and I got you that big traveling set for graduation, and that," she pointed at the suitcase, "is it."

"No, it's not," You opened the suitcase and reached in, grabbing the first thing you felt and holding it up to show her. "See? Not mine!"

"Y/N," her eyes widened before she started to laugh. "You might want to put those down."

"It's just the spike ball bag, it's not big–" you turned to see what you were holding and sure enough, it was not the spike ball bag you thought you had picked up. It was a pair of Ant-Man boxers, and it was unknown whether or not they were clean or not. "Ah, ew!" You tossed them back into the suitcase, wiping your hand on your towel. "Ew, ew, ew, I just touched a stranger's dirty underwear."

"You don't know if they were dirty."

"You don't know if they were clean!" You argued back, looking around the handle for an identification tag. "This definitely isn't mine. My travel tag isn't on the handle."

"Who uses a travel tag?" She laughed, shaking her head.

"Me," you turned towards the suitcase, slamming it shut and zipping it. "I use a travel tag, so if my luggage gets lost or switched, they can contact me. It's common travel knowledge."

She sighed, walking over towards the suitcase and unzipping the two pockets on top, looking in and shaking her head. "Nothing hidden in those pockets. Did you think to go through the rest of the suitcase? Maybe they have a tag in there."

"And risk touching another pair of possibly dirty boxers and God knows what else? No thanks," you zipped up the suitcase and picked it up, placing it back onto the ground. "I'm doomed. That suitcase had all of the clothes that I took to Jersey, in it. It had my outfit and makeup for tonight."

"I have something you can borrow," she walked over to the closet, opening it to reveal it was empty besides two dresses hanging up. "And I've got make-up and whatever your little heart desires for your hair."

"Your wedding present was in there too," you sighed, walking over to the closet. "Which one?"

"This." She held out the rose-colored dress, handing the hanger to you. "You can get away with no bra and I can give you a pair of underwear from the new pack I bought this morning–"

"Why would you buy new underwear?" You asked, taking the dress.

"In case of emergencies," she closed the closet and turned back to you, nodding. "Which, this is. Unopened pack in that laundry basket I was carrying, feel free to take a pair and keep them. As for shoes...you're kind of on your own on that one."

You sighed, defeated as she walked out of the bedroom, leaving you to get dressed. You unwrapped the towel around your hair, letting it drop onto the floor as the towel wrapped around your body went with it. You took the dress off of the hanger and untied the straps, lifting the dress over your head and tugging it down. Your mind was going over every detail of just how you picked up the wrong suitcase. Fair, it was a dead-ringer for the suitcase you took with you to Jersey, but even you should have known to realize that there was no bright red luggage tag hanging on the side handle. And it was all you could do but hope that whoever picked up your suitcase thinking it was theirs, would at least call or text.

"Oh shit," you said, holding onto the straps that hung down on the side, trying to tie them in the back. "Charlotte! My phone!"

You ran out into the living room to see her now finishing up her make-up at the counter, turning to you with wide eyes. "Okay one, sit down and let me brush your hair," she stood up and grabbed your wrist, bringing you over to counter and sitting you down. "And two, your phone is right there."

"If they figured out our luggage was switched, they'd call! My luggage tag!" You reached across the counter, grabbing your phone and turning it over to see that the screen was still black. "Oh come on, my phone wasn't that dead!"

Charlotte tugged you back and started to brush your hair, not bothering to go slow. "I plugged it in the moment you went to take a shower, just give it a few seconds."

If looks could kill, your phone would be nowhere ready to turn on. You were glaring at the screen as if pure intimidation would turn it on. This could go one of two ways:

1) This person left your suitcase in the dark abyss that is lost luggage at the airport.

or

2) Like you, they didn't realize that they had grabbed the wrong luggage until they went to open it and they'll find your luggage tag and call you.

"Ah!" You yelled, jumping out of the chair as your phone lit up. You leaned over the counter, your heart racing as Charlotte tried to keep brushing your hair. "Come on, come on, come on..."

"Right there," Charlotte said, pointing at your screen as a text message notification popped up on the screen from an unknown number. "That has to be them!"

"Oh thank God," you sighed, thumb ready to swipe the message open. "Oh...yikes."

"Uh," Charlotte laughed as the two of you continued to watch your messages pour in, at least 5 coming in from the unknown number, along with three phone calls. "Yikes indeed, I guess they're panicking just as much as you are."

You swiped on the notifications, unlocking your phone, and going to the message.

unknown: hi y/n i think you grabbed the wrong suitcase...

unknown: yeah, uh, you most definitely grabbed the wrong suitcase.

unknown: is there any way we can switch in the next 30 minutes before i reach my house?

unknown: ok, so i'm sorry for the spam texts and calls...but this is kind of urgent.

unknown: like life or death.

"Life or death?" Charlotte asked, looking at you with a raised eyebrow. "What the hell was in that suitcase?"

"Spike ball and dirty clothes," you replied, shrugging. Your eyes went wide before you turned back to her. "What if they're a drug smuggler and there are drugs in there?"

She opened her mouth to speak before looking down at your phone, nodding. "Now's your chance to find out. Look who's calling."

You looked back down at your phone to see the unknown number flash on your screen. You looked back at her, shaking your head. "You answer it."

"Your luggage, you answer it," she laughed, pulling back segments of your hair to tie back. "But put it on speaker, I'm curious what the drug dealer sounds like."

You shoved your elbow back, avoiding her as you nervously slid your thumb across the screen, answering the call and pressing the speaker button. "Hello?"

"Oh thank God," the unknown called sighed, clearing his throat. "Sorry for the spam calls, I've just been panicking."

"Yeah, I’m sorry...my phone died," you replied, looking at Charlotte as your voice dwindled off.

"The suitcase," she mouthed, nodding her head back towards the room.

"Oh, the suitcase!" You said, almost a little too excited. You cleared your throat, calming yourself down. "I most definitely have your suitcase...maybe."

"Well I have yours," you could hear rustling in the background. "Y/N L/N, right?"

"Yep, that's me," you looked at Charlotte again, shaking your head. "Sorry to kind of do this...but how do I know I have your suitcase? I mean, what if I grabbed someone else's and you grabbed mine and there's three of us in this and–"

Charlotte smacked your back lightly with the back of the brushed, shaking her head as the voice on the other side of the phone laughed. "Um, shit," he coughed, smacking his lips. "Uh well, there should be a spike ball set in there. If not, then I left it at Johnny's. Otherwise, it's just clothes."

"Congratulations," you laughed, leaning back into the chair. "I've got your suitcase."

"Oh thank God, I was really worried there for a second," they replied. "Is there any chance we can exchange them soon?"

"Okay, so about that," you sighed, biting the inside of your cheek. "I kind of have a wedding rehearsal and dinner to go to in 20 minutes...and I don't think that will be over with till about...two hours from now. Is that okay?"

There was silence on the other side and you couldn't help but feel horrible at the fact that you were keeping this stranger away from his luggage and that he had to keep yours until then. "My family and I are going to dinner in two hours, reservation and all."

"Where at?" You spoke before your brain could even catch up with what your mouth was doing. "I'm sorry that was creepy."

He laughed and you felt a little flutter feeling in your stomach. "No, it's fine. I think we're going to Maggiano's in–"

"In the Westfield town center?" Your eyes widened as Charlotte placed the brush down on the counter behind you, looking at you with a smile. "We're going to Pieology in the Westfield town center!"

"Pieology for a wedding rehearsal dinner? Sounds like my kind of party," he laughed. "So, do you just want to exchange then? When I get there and you're leaving?"

"Sounds perfect!"

"Great! So I'll just, text you when I get there and I promise I won't forget the suitcase."

"Okay, I'll see you then."

"All right, bye, Y/N!"

"Bye!" You hung up the call and Charlotte leaned against the counter a smile on her face. "What?"

"He sounded cute." She stuck placed the extra bobby pins she didn't need, onto the counter. "Maybe he can be your date for my wedding."

"Not this again," you groaned, getting out of the chair. "For the last time, I don't need a date. Besides, this guy is a total stranger– I don't even know his name!"

"You can learn it later," she laughed, wiggling her eyebrows. "Either way, do your makeup quickly because we need to leave in ten."

She walked off towards the bedroom the two of you had claimed and you sighed, sitting back down into your seat, grabbing her mascara, blush, and golden liquid shimmer eyeshadow. It was the best you could do for now, until you got all of your stuff back from this stranger. As you applied the eyeshadow, you couldn't get Charlotte's comment out of your head. She was right, he did sound cute. But who's to say that he's not a total creep? Or that he's even your age? He could be in his 40's or even barely cruising 18. And then stood the real issue, you didn't even know his name.

Your phone screen lit up once again and you looked away from the mirror, seeing that you had another text from the unknown number. You furrowed your eyebrows and unlocked your phone, opening his text.

unknown: my name is matt, by the way 😊

[stufftippywrote]

rehearsal

This is a doublefill... @midnightdrops​ was also kind enough to prompt me about Bitty/Jack, planning for the future. This deserves more words than I had the will to give it, frankly, and maybe I’ll come back to it and expand someday.

SMH Group Chat

ransom: the wedding's coming up and you know what that means! holster: BACHELOR PARTY BACHELOR PARTY BACHELOR PARTY tango: do you have two bachelor parties? if there's two grooms? nursey: chill it'll be like a double bachelor party shitty: FEATURING STRIPPERS OF MULTIPLE GENDERS bitty: oh my GOD please no

The bachelor party does not end up featuring strippers of any genders (although Shitty sort of counts after multiple beers). Instead, it's a karaoke box in Boston, and in addition to screeching Backstreet Boys, inhaling copious types of alcohol and Korean food, and generally giving Jack and Bitty hell, there are party games. NHL trivia for Jack and baking quizzes for Bitty. Almost everyone chooses to play the NHL game, and a very drunk Nursey keeps guessing Carey Price, even when the answer's not a person. It's all good fun, and Bitty has got to get away immediately.

He catches Jack's eye, then ducks out into the stairwell. A minute later, Jack manages to escape. "You doing okay?" he says, lifting a hand to smooth Bitty's hair down.

"Just a little nervous," Bitty answers. "I can't believe it's tomorrow. I've been saying all week I can't believe it's this week, but I really, really can't believe it's tomorrow!"

"Haha, me neither." Jack lowers his hand, takes Bitty's hand in his. "I'm so excited, Bits."

Bitty's not sure he's had time to be excited. "Do you remember everything? Your vows?"

"Memorized."

"Tuxedo?"

"In my parents' hotel room."

"Time we're meeting?"

"10 AM at the chapel. Are you quizzing me?"

Bitty pouts. "Oh please, you made my life hell through three semesters of French and I can't quiz you on your own wedding day?"

"Everything is going to be fine," Jack says. He presses a kiss to Bitty's forehead.

"Of course it is!" Bitty launches himself forward into Jack's arms. "Everything is going to be totally fine, nobody's going to forget anything and there's no way it will turn into a huge mess. Right?"

Jack laughs. "Bits. It really is going to be fine."

"No it's not!" Bitty's voice is muffled in Jack's shirt. "Somebody's going to do something wrong and everything is going to be ruined."

Jack wraps his arms around him, kisses the top of his head. "Bits. I promise. It'll be fine. And if something goes wrong, we'll just laugh at it and keep going. No matter what happens, at the end of the day, you and I will be married."

Bitty sighs into Jack's chest. "What's the matter with me?" he wonders aloud. "I'm a nervous wreck. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. It's a big day." Jack pushes Bitty to arm's length, stooping a bit to look at him eye to eye. "I've been a nervous wreck enough times. You can have your turn."

"I suppose as long as I remember how to put a ring on and how to kiss you, it should be okay," Bitty says, but there's doubt in his voice.

"You need to practice one more time?"

And that's a bit of a wicked glint in Jack's eyes right now. It's hard not to feel a little playful with that gaze on him, and Bitty makes a show of thinking hard. "Hmm, which part? The vows? The rings?"

"The part after that," Jack says, and the wickedness is slipping into his smile.

"Hmmm," Bitty says again. "The part where the minister tells everyone that the reception will be at the Boston Mariott at 6?"

"Bits."

Bitty grins. "I know, I know." He lets himself be swept up then, in arms and against soft lips, and as Jack kisses him Bitty closes his eyes and imagines the flowers all around them, the adoring faces of friends, the moment when they finally come to the newest chapter in their lives together. Husbands. They'll be husbands. No matter what else happens, that part's for certain.

They kiss for a full minute, Bitty reaching up to cradle Jack's face, sighing as their lips part and then touch again. Just for this moment, just right now, nothing in the world could possibly go wrong.

Except, perhaps, for Shitty banging the door open and hollering, "Okay, kids, no more nookie, time for the presents!"

"Presents?" Bitty is immediately terrified.

Jack just laughs. "It's not a bridal shower, Shits," he lectures, knowing it'll fall on deaf ears. Shitty takes him by the shoulders and shoves him back into the room, and Bitty follows, taking a deep breath. On top of everything else, all the preparation and rehearsing and worrying, they've got family and friends in their corner. Everything really will be fine.

[1zashreena1]

Angst Fluff Whiplash -14

18+, m/f, technically OCxDiego Jimenez [Power]

Summary:  What does an apex predator do after confessing undying love? Princess is about to find out.

WARNINGS: Ridiculous descriptions and ‘the code is more like guidelines’ outlook on grammar. Is it OOC if the character was given essentially zero development in canon???

Non-descriptive sexytimes, the L word, criminal activities glossed over, relationship building, plus size woman+fit man, Anxiety, This one is all feels and

I Am So NOT Sorry. 

THE TIME HAS COME

A/N:  Princess took on a life of her own and has essentially become an OC. There are infrequent mentions of her description (specifically as plus size) and her actual name in later pieces (its Bicki). She started as self-insert so she looks like me (plus size, white, short, blue eyes, curly hair). If that is not your thing, I totally understand. And do not feel obligated to read this, I will not be offended!

I’m not a fan of “plot” so be aware that most of this series is just meandering through their relationship, angst-fluff-smut whiplash style. But with dick jokes.

TAGLIST: @chelsfic​ ​ @symbiont13​ ​ @nicke0115​ ​​ @bunnykjm​ ​ @rosee-sensuelle​ ​ @girlpornparadise​ ​ @mandoplease​ ​ @heresathreebee​ ​ @xxsteph-enrixx​ ​ @jetiikad​ ​ @joalsglasses​ ​ @mutantcookiesecrets​ ​ @demoncatstone​ ​ @squidlywiddly87​ ​ @lockedoutofmyotherblog​ ​ @poeedamerons​ ​

"I don't know, Lisa. He won't tell me. Not until this weekend apparently?  We're supposed to go shopping."

"Honestly, I'm scared. I mean, there's the whole how did he get a passport FOR me dilemma. Then the part where he knows I don't like surprises. And he said he was calling my sister!"

"Oh my God, she could tell him anything! Please don't tell him about the Backstreet Boys phase. I'm going to have a panic attack."

"Of course he would tease me about it for eternity!"

"What? Watch what words? What are you talking about?"

"Do not hang up this phone! Do you even love me?!? Lisa? …. Hello?"

You toss your phone down on the bed and heave a huge sigh. Your very own BFF, abandoning you like that. Luckily its your own phone and not the insane cell Diego got you because it bounces off the other side of the bed and smacks into the wall before admitting total defeat to gravity. 

You stand there staring at your open suitcase. Your typical items are in there already. You don't need any toiletries. Or makeup, now. Or bras. Or underwear. Fucking hell, its like I already moved into the penthouse with him. 

… Could I do that? He already basically asked for it. He keeps telling me to quit my job and let him spoil me for real. You wring your hands together while rubbing your lips against each other and being bombarded with intrusive thoughts. Yeah. Until he's done with me and then I have to start all over. At 35. 

But its been almost a year now that you've been seeing Diego. What does that even mean, "seeing" him? You think about how the last few months have been so… easy. He practically lives in New York now, their territory split. He opted to control the East Coast and let his sister deal with the logistical nightmare of receiving the imports. 

He has been a lot looser since then. Faster to laugh, quicker to goof around, less likely to do anything as hard as he used to do. The distance from Alicia has allowed him to really flourish in every aspect. And he's beautiful with it. The laugh lines and the soft brown eyes wreck you every time.

He says he wants to keep you. Take care of you. You finally believe that he loves you. He has made so many improvements in communication. Hell, he read books on how to be with someone on the spectrum. Do you understand it? Hell no. Are you going to take it and run? Fuck yeah dude. I love him and I want to keep him.

And now he wants to take you on a trip. A surprise destination. Out of the country with a mostly legal passport. You don't doubt that you'll be safe with him. Your parents were a little concerned when you told them since they've never even met him. And they saw him on the national news that time he got arrested by the Feds, so that really inspires confidence. 

Your middle sister Lynne and niece Halley accidentally met him that one afternoon about a month back. And they have not shut up about it since. Diego this, Diego that, blah blah blah, paid the restaurant bill in cash, yadda yadda, took us all shopping to a Coach store and then got Halley some crazy new sold out Nikes. Diego had been delighted to be surrounded by a gaggle of giggling girls enjoying his spoiling attentions. Just like always, Diego went to the max and charmed them silly.

It was like having an out of body experience to see Diego with them. You couldn't really fault them, he swept you off your feet with no problems.  He was grinning and joking the whole time, making raunchy comments with your sister and encouraging your niece to be assertive (unnecessary according to her soccer coach and the 'Most Aggressive' trophy). He fit right in with them. Afterwards he had asked if that was what it was like to have normal siblings and your heart broke thinking about what his childhood had been like with his sister. 

Which brought you back to the here and now. He had mentioned off hand that he was going to call your sister. Maybe you should text her. She might know something.

Maybe you should just pack your bag and trust him. 

Your Diego Cell chirps and you dive for it on the nightstand. Is he okay? Please don't be hurt.

Its a pic of him. In the shower. With his own hand wrapped around himself. You choke on air and have to sit down. 

I miss you Princess

Holy. Shit. Its been almost a year that you have had unrestricted access to that incredible body and your reaction is still the same. Before you can respond another text arrives:

SOON

The attached pic is just from squinty eyes up.

You burst out laughing at him. You love that he is secretly a nerd about internet stuff. His appearance would never give that away. Time to be ridiculous right back.

Don't make me lick your eyeball 

You are a crazy person laughing to yourself alone in your bedroom.

You are so weird

Yet there you are, lusting after this weirdo

You shoot back.

… Am I the weirdo??

No. Still you.

I would threaten to bite it.. but you would like that

Well now you have to

Oh my God. You're fairly certain you could do anything to this man and he would think it was sexy. Its a novel experience.

Can we eat dinner at home tomorrow? I don't feel like wearing a real bra

You know the answer to that. 

YES. NO MORE BRAS EVER AGAIN. BE FREE

… no panties?🙏🥺

You can see the hopeful puppy dog eyes clearly.

A for effort babe. One of these days you might get your wish lol

...Are you panty free right now?

Wow. He is really trying here.

I'm packing. 

Your pic is a heap of tangled thongs dumped on top of Tiny Murder Panther.

💜🔥😛

He would find that hot. Fucking nympho.

Lemme finish this so I can go straight to the airport tomorrow

Fine. But I am pouting 

You do not doubt that.

Don't care. Still love your stupid face

You cannot believe you just sent that. 

Princess. 

Mi amor.

Diego's good little girl.

You shudder with the praise. You can hear it in his voice, as if he were right here with you.

I love you

Dream of me?

Oh baby, if you only knew. You sigh wistfully.

Always, baby

---------------‐---------

The flight is uneventful, thankfully. Your maxidress with a built-in shelf bra is stupidly comfortable and you actually take a nap. 

The plane has barely come to a stop and you already have on your silly lambswool lined Ugg flip flops. You had argued with Diego about these (Why would flip flops need a warm fuzzy lining??) but he had won by sticking one in your face and ordering you to feel. It didn't take a full second for you to snatch them both from him and cuddle them to your chest. His pleased smile full of dimples was worth all the subsequent teasing.

You slip on one of his previously stolen shirts in a metallic lilac color and roll up the sleeves so you have use of your hands. Bending at the waist, you flip your hair over and fluff it back up from the nap. What was that he had said? Oh yes: Wild and thick, just how I like it. The memory makes you bite your bottom lip and smile.

Bastian is waiting for you on the tarmac. He takes your bag and kisses you on the cheek in greeting. "Hey, sweetie. Nice shirt, is that new?"  His knowing grin is infectious. 

You nuzzle into the collar with a laugh. "Thanks! My boyfriend gave it to me." 

Bastian chuckles as he opens the passenger door for you. "Oh, honey. That is not all he is going to give you." He closes the door while you roll your eyes smirkingly. 

The ride to the penthouse is uneventful. Well, as uneventful as Friday evening rush hour traffic can be in New York. 

Bastian waits until the song is over before lowering the stereo volume. "We're supposed to pick up dinner. Any requests?" He drums his fingers on the steering wheel while you sit at the red light.

You ponder the options. "What kind of a day has he had? Meetings? Tours? Disciplinary action?" You ask Bastian thoughtfully. Sometimes when Diego has a bad day he likes comfort food. Mostly a giant heap of rice and beans next to homemade tortillas, he isn't so picky about the variety of meat.

Bastian glances at you out of the corner of his eye before warily answering, "There was a… termination… at a construction site this afternoon that took longer than expected. That's why he didn't come to get you, he wanted to shower first."

You keep your eyes focused forward to look out of the windshield. "Okay. How about Jalisco's then?" Comfort food it is. 

Bastian nods and adjusts course to obtain those tortillas.

‐--------------------

The instant the elevator doors ding open Diego pops up from the sectional and comes straight at you. Your giant sidestep to let Bastian pass is barely completed before Diego is slipping those big hands under his own pilfered shirt to crush your body to him. Your arms go around his neck like a reflex, like this is their natural resting place. He leans his forehead down onto yours and kisses you so very gently.

"Mmmm. Hi." You murmur softly into his beard. Those bottomless brown eyes look over your entire face before coming back to your own. His smile is huge, those dimples make your pulse trip. He blinks slowly down at you, just like the big cat you nicknamed him after. 

"Princess. How was the trip?" He always asks you this. You still aren't sure if its just culturally specific manners or if he is requesting a review of the flight crew's performance. Either way, your answer is always the same.

You pull him back down so you can cuddle into his neck. "Its better now that I'm here." He rubs his cheek against your own and purrs directly into your ear in response. Your body's reaction is immediate and decisive. You shiver in his arms and your nipples peak to full attention.

Except this time is different. With only a bralette and the dress's shelf bra Diego can clearly feel what just happened in real time. His eyes are comically round as he peers down at your cleavage in pleasant wonder.

"Oh. I like this outfit." His hands rise up your back to crush you further into him. You chuckle and rub your chest on his firm pectoral muscles. He watches hungrily as your compressed decolletage rises higher yet from the added pressure. "New rule to match the bedroom pants bar, no bras in the penthouse. Fucking magnificent, bonita." He licks his lips after making this proclamation.

You throw your head back and laugh joyfully.

‐----------------------

As it always does the weekend passes too quickly. Its already 1:00pm on Saturday when you two finally come down from the bedroom.

Diego is delighted to hear that your time-off request was approved for the trip. You had told him not to worry about it, your boss always kept her word about this stuff. 

That’s when he pulls a ridiculous pith hat out from under the couch. It looks like it came straight out of a Looney Tunes cartoon about a big game hunt on the African savannah.  You lose your entire shit and laugh until you do that silent clapping seal move.

Diego keeps repeating, "Wait, stop laughing. Stooooop." But he isn't faring much better. You finally wipe the tears and calm down enough to take it from his limp fingers while he chortles a few last times.

"Baby. What. What the fuck. What fucking is this??" You plunk the hat on your own head and Diego collapses facedown into your lap to gigglesnort uproariously. "Stop. Stop laughing. Stoppit!" You smack the back of his head lightly until he comes up for air.

He closes his eyes and composes himself. You take the opportunity to plop the hat on his head.

"Oh my god, that is so sexy!" You declare in high dramatics. 

He grabs your hands and leans in very close to explain. "You need this hat for our trip." Your eyes narrow in suspicion. "You will wear it for our safari quest…" he pauses for dramatic effect and your lips twitch in suppressed amusement. He leans closer yet and captures your stare. His face is hilarious, you can tell he is biting his cheek to keep from laughing. His eyebrows are drawn down in concentration but his eyes are widened in mock excitement. He sucks in a deep breath to exclaim, "To locate palm trees in the wild!"

He laughs as he puts the hat back on you.

You blink a few times in shock. Palm trees? You're going somewhere with palm trees? A tropical locale. Palm trees. Beaches. SWIMSUITS. Your sudden panic must show on your face because Diego's laughter dies off.

You blink furiously, but its too little too late. The tears burn as they well up in your eyes and spill down over your cheeks.

He reaches out to cup your face. "Princess?" His tone is an even mix of concern and fear. "Bicki? What?"

You shake your head 'no' and throw yourself into him. Diego catches you and hauls you into his lap. You curl up against his chest and sob quietly. He pets over your hair, open handed strokes so his fingers don't tangle in the curls, and soothes your back while you shake. Rubbing his nose against your temple, he kisses your cheek and whispers, "Do you want to write?" His gentle care only makes you worse. "...so that is no." He looks crestfallen. He buries his face in your hair and breathes heavily.

Your tears are slowing and your chest is finally beginning to loosen. "Dieg-" you hiccup, wrapping both hands around his forearm. You wheeze a few times before trying again. "I. I. Where? Where are we g-going?" 

He sighs deeply before answering. "Nowhere. I won't take you somewhere you don't want to go. I should have known better. I-" He snaps his jaw shut so fast that his teeth click together. 

Tilting your head back, you try to catch his eyes. Diego won't look at you. "H-hey, please." You cup his jaw and pull him down to you. He comes, but the motions are stilted. "Look. Please, baby. Let me s-see you."

When he finally meets your eyes it breaks your heart. That chocolate gaze is disappointed, hurt, frustrated even. You wiggle around until you're straddling his lap. He just holds his hands out of the way, not hindering you but certainly not helping either. Standing up on your knees to lean your forehead against his, you reach for his hands and bring them to your chest where you lace your fingers together. 

"Baby. I want that." Your nose rubs against his as you speak. "I want to go everywhere with you. I never thought I would ever get a chance like this. To travel? To go somewhere tropical? To have someone who loves me enough to do this for me?" You're crying again. And so is Diego? A little?? 

He brings your joined hands up to tap your chin. His face is adorably conflicted when he speaks, "You… want to go?" You nod slowly. His eyebrows lower as he tries to make sense of this. "Then why do you cry? Are they, the uh, is that 'happy tears' ?"

Your hands shake in his. "Yeah. Happy tears. I just. I was overwhelmed. I'm sorry." He huffs out a sigh. You continue, "Its almost like the super intense emotions short circuit my responses and I guess my default is panic crying? I don't know."

Diego huffs at you again. "Please stop that. I'm going to have a heart attack." There is a hint of real annoyance in his voice but his lips curl up at the corners. 

You free your right hand to reach up and brush his wet lashes. Why did something this little bring him to tears? "Baby, is everything okay?"

He leans into your hand, then turns to kiss your fingers. You giggle, you can't help it, his beard both tickles and delights you. He smirks at you, "It is now, Princess. You should get dressed so we can go." 

But you're not done here yet. "Where are we going on the trip? A place name, not foliage that may or may not be present."

His Cheshire cat grin is intriguing and mildly worrisome. He gives you one word, "Xcalak." And then watches while you access your mental map and pinpoint the exact location. 

It takes you a moment but you find it with a gasp. "Costa Maya? Like Caribbean-sea side of Mexico??"  He nods and you immediately start in with 20 Questions. "Are there cenotes? Is the water really those unreal colors? Is the food amazing there? Can we see ruins?"

Diego cups your face to stop you. "Whatever you like, little girl." With a kiss to your nose and a smack to your ass he ushers you upstairs to get dressed. 

-----------------------

The shopping is less traumatic than normal for you thanks to Diego making enthusiastic innuendo nonstop and feeding you between stores. You find sandals, and flip flops, and little slip-on sneakers. All kinds of flowy maxidresses and flouncy skirts paired with new tank tops in buttery soft fabrics. Cover-ups and kimonos and huge airy loose knit sweaters get rung up with linen pants and shorts you actually feel comfortable wearing.

But swimsuits? A disaster. Everything that fits your hips is way too big for your ribcage. Tankinis big enough to go around your middle are about a foot too wide around your chest. You try some maternity stuff… amazingly there isn't any chest support. That confuses both of you for almost 20 minutes while you discuss it over croissants and various iced beverages (coffee for him and some kind of hot chocolate slushie for you).

Then you look across the street and inspiration hits. One of the stores you order bras from is right there and has bra-sized swimwear in the display window. Diego turns to see what stole your undivided attention from him and slaps his hand down on the table in celebration. 

You aren't sure which one of you is more excited to get into the store. But while you run around exclaiming at all the things that come in your size Diego stands in the doorway and gawks. When you circle back to check on him he just points to one display wall.

There is lacy, frilly, corseted lingerie. In. Your. Size.

He demands one of everything that fits you and isn't red, brown, or yellow. You don't even argue.

The store does alterations and makes very good recommendations. The sales clerk is impressed with Diego's input, she comments that he really does seem to know your body well. You flush with it, glad that he isn't close enough to hear that. You leave with three bags and seven personalized swim outfits under construction. One is ready to wear and you keep reaching into the bag to touch it in wonder. 

Diego notices but just gives you a raised eyebrow. 

"This is the first time I've ever felt good about how I look in swimwear." You confess quietly. 

Diego wraps a massive arm around your shoulders and tucks you into his side while you continue down the sidewalk. 

--------------------

Sunday is a mess as you try to make pancakes and Diego tries to remain physically attached to you like an excessively attractive barnacle. The pancakes are either burnt or still batter in the middle. Leftover carnitas and tortillas to the rescue. Diego teases you about the kitchen failure all day because this is the first time he has witnessed such a thing.

You doze on the couch under the pretense of "reading". Diego rotates through his laptop, cell, and the soccer match on ESPN+. 

Until his phone rings. 

You both tense up. Only one person calls him instead of texting. He takes the phone into the office to answer his sister. You wait on the couch to see which Diego you get back: silly tickle fight Diego,  sad puppy dog eyes Diego that requires cuddles, or  angry Diego that needs to fuck you through the nearest horizontal surface. 

The elevator dings and Julio comes in with a tray of coffees. "Ay, Gordita. Buenas tardes. I got you the hibiscus thing you like." He greets you with a big smile, then looks around when he doesn't see Diego on the sectional with you.

Hopping up to help him carry stuff, you point to the office in indication of Diego's location. Julio makes a face, "Hermana perra?" and you simply nod. Julio takes Diego's iced coffee and bites the bullet for you. The door closes softly behind him.

You munch plantain chips and slurp hibiscus lemonade until they come out.  Diego just looks tired when he comes back to you on the couch, coffee in hand. You open your arms in invitation and he plops next to you with a sigh. Cuddly Diego it is.

He doesn't tell you anything and you don't ask. Everyone watches the match mindlessly. Diego snores softly in your lap while you pet his hair.

He rides to the airport with you but you forbid him from coming onto the plane with you. He is already making this harder than it has to be with his big brown eyes and clingy hands.

"Baby." You breathe into his hair while he snuggles into your neck in the backseat of the SUV. "Its only a week. We do this every week." You pet down his bicep and immediately regret it.

"I know." Diego huffs into your skin. "Why don't you just quit? Let me take care of everything." You go through this almost every week now, too. He nuzzles you, the sensation makes you reconsider his proposal. You pull his head up by a fistful of soft hair and look him in the eye. He blinks guilelessly at you.

"Number one: No. Number two: Stoppit." He laughs at your fond exasperation. "Okay. I'm gonna go. You stay on the ground."

"Fine." He whines. "But I am going to send you a dick pic the moment that plane takes off." He crosses his arms as if daring you to tell him no.

You cup his stupidly attractive face in your hands for a kiss. Okay, several kisses and 27 minutes later, you respond, "Send me one every day. Its my favorite dick." His startled laugh makes you feel very pleased with yourself.

He pulls you into his arms again to kiss you one last time. His beard scratches and you sigh into him. Finally that tongue retreats and he rests his forehead on yours. His voice is low and rough, his hands squeeze tight on your hip and thigh, "I love you, Princess."

Will that ever stop hurting? You close your eyes against the burn of tears but smile with happiness. "I love you, Diego." You pop the door handle before you open your eyes to see him watching you, jaw tense. You stick your tongue out and he breaks into a smirk. With a laugh, you slide out of SUV and walk to the plane, determined not to look back.

When you get up the stairs the pilot greets you, but his gaze shifts behind you. Turning around, you see Diego standing outside the SUV, arms crossed and trying to look so not soft. You smile and mouth Bye baby, he gives you a short little wave. You duck into the plane before you can start crying.

The wheels are not, in fact, off the ground when the phone chirps.

‐-----------------------

The trip is a few weeks out and there is some kind of emergency at the San Diego docks the next weekend. So. You don't get your Murder Panther fix. 

And your coworkers notice. They spend all day Monday strolling past your cubicle, straining their necks to see if you're wearing new shoes or some fresh bling. Finally someone has the nerve to ask how your weekend was. 

You find yourself blinking back tears. I miss him so much. This is ridiculous, he just texted you at like six this morning. But its not just the conversation you miss, now is it? You miss that big body crowding you into the corner of the couch. His soft curls under your hands. That beard on literally any inch of your skin. Draping yourself over shoulders wider than your hips and knowing that not only can he take your weight, he likes it.

He says he wants to keep you and you desperately want to keep him. Why do you fear this? Is it just his profession? The risk? Oh god, how do you even go about introducing him to your parents??? Diego can be all kinds of charming but he can be a real asshole, too.

And they know what he is: A criminal.  For your boomer parents he is the living embodiment of Public Enemy Number One. 

Grand Theft. 

Money Laundering.

Arson.

Murder.

International Cocaine Trafficking. 

HE IS A LITERAL DRUG LORD.

You lay your head down on your desk and try to keep it together. 

Your Diego Cell chirps.

Your laughter bubbles up until it comes out of you without your consent. It turns hysterical and you realize you need to leave the office suite. Now. 

In the bathroom you stare down at the phone as it lights up again with another message.

Miss my Princess💔👑

How? How is someone who can do all those illegal things so nauseatingly sweet to me?

And then it hits you. Illegal. You didn't use the word immoral. Illegal. You think back to how everyone you see working directly for him is well into adulthood. No children. There are a few women but they are not being sold by him, they are there by their own free will. And he has never laid a hand on any of them, they're just as comfortable around him as the men are. No sex trafficking.  You saw someone give their resignation last month. The dude walked away with a suitcase of cash for a decade of trustworthy service. Its a better retirement plan than what I have. 

Have you seen him assault people? Yes. You've seen him stab people. Carve off someone's ear because they weren't listening as assigned and it cost the Jimenez Cartel a shipment. You've seen him push an informant down an empty elevator shaft. Choke a man into unconsciousness with his bare hands when you were disrespected. 

And you still love him. Not a single one of those incidents weighs on your conscience. Your morality is a dingy grey 12 year old men's undershirt that you should just throw away but you're definitely going to cut into rags to keep for cleaning when it comes to Diego. 

The cell lights up again.

Mi amor 💞😍🍑🏝✈⏲👙

You don't know what's worse: His excessive and ridiculous usage of emojis or the fact that you understood. 

Look what came

The attached pic is a few pieces of your new swimwear. They look gorgeous, you can't even tell where the alterations were done.

You have to try on all of them. And show me

Of course he wants his own personal show. You feel desire burning low in your belly. Its been a year and not once has he ever shied away from your stomach rolls or hinted at weight loss. He never questions the food you order. And while the two of you have chuckled about shapewear he has never mocked you for using it. Or seemed disappointed when you opted not to wear it. He tosses you around like its nothing and prefers for you to sleep on top of him. Its not that he loves you despite your weight, he loves it as part of you.

-------------------------

Its now Thursday and the desk drawer where you keep your purse at work is vibrating. He knows I'm at work. If he calls right back I'll answer him. You try to keep your Diego Cell out of sight at work or you'll never get anything done. Plus your coworkers are always dying to catch a peek of your infamous sugar daddy/boyfriend.

Yeah. Boyfriend. Keep practicing that. It feels good. 

You finish the insurance call and hang up your headset when the vibrating starts again. Your next door cubicle neighbor pops around the divider to advise you to answer that before he comes down here and abducts you.

What deity should I pray to for that??

You snatch Diego Cell and march out to the hall. Poking the green button, you answer the call.

"Baby. You okay?"

"Princess! I… yeah. I'm not hurt."

He sounds odd. There is definitely something going on here.

"What's up? You need me?"

The silence stretches. 

"Yes. Please?"

Diego sounds very uncomfortable. It causes you physical pain.

"Well, you have me. What is it?"

You can hear him swallow and in your mind you picture him looking away, hiding some soft emotion shining in his eyes.

"Baby?"

"Here. I am here. I just. I just wanted to hear you."

Something is very wrong with my Murder Panther, you think.

"Babe," your voice is soft, you're trying to ease him. "Can you tell me what's wrong?"

He huffs and you can hear him scrape a hand down over his face. "I know you are at work. And I should not have called. But."

His voice trembles, even over the phone you can hear it. He's afraid.

"Diego. If you need me, then you have me. Tell me, baby." You try to be reassuring but you also really need to know what is wrong.

"I would like to come down there." His declaration is overly formal. You wonder who he is trying to impress. Its certainly not me.

"You… want to come down here instead of me going up there this weekend?"  You're trying to make sense out of any part of this conversation. 

"I…. grrrrrrrrr."  He growls in frustration. Between English being his second language and your sensory processing issues, this is not an uncommon occurrence. He sucks in a deep breath and charges forward in an emotional rush. "I know you're working, but I want to come down there because I miss seeing your face." Before you have a chance to answer he adds, "Pick me up? At the airport, after work? Please, Bicki." His voice cracks at the end and his inhalation is ragged. Your heart implodes. 

"Diego. Baby. Of course. Of course I will. I can be there by six." You have a mental flash of how dirty your bathroom is, all the clothes you have laying around, and the vacuum you haven't touched in over a month. Diego needing me is more important.

"Good. Good. Yes, I. I will text you. When I land." His voice is raspier than ever, low and gravelly. 

"Sure. I'll be there." I'll always be there.

"Okay. You… you should go." You can hear his determination. You can visualize him squaring his shoulders and setting his jaw, taking on the Jimenez Cartel persona. 

"Hey." He grunts in acknowledgement. "I love you." You blurt it out before you have a chance to talk yourself round in circles. You can hear voices in the background. 

"And you. You as well." The call ends, but you know.

---------------

You're sitting in your car at the little regional airport second guessing the coffee you got when the phone chirps. 

Here

Springing out of the car, you wave to the security guard as you trot past. "Hey Jim, I just have to grab someone real quick. That's okay, right?" You wave vaguely back toward your car parked in the fire lane. There are only four security guards who work here and they all know you at this point. 

Jim laughs but waves you on. "Go get 'im, sweetie." Jim must be pushing 90 by now, he doesn't care about traffic laws.

You enter one of the two sets of automatic doors on this entire building and cross through the tiny lobby. There. You can see his dark hair and ridiculous shoulders over a completely unnecessary row of potted plants. He must hear your echoing footsteps because his head whips around in alarm, but his face relaxes into a wide smile. He lengthens his strides to come around the stupid plants, hands automatically reaching out for you.

"Diego." You laugh breathily and fling arms around his neck. He smells so good. 

He crushes you to his chest and buries his face in your neck. "Printhesss." He murmurs into you, slurred because he refuses to remove his mouth from your skin. 

Turning your head to kiss his cheek, you moan shamelessly for him. He surges back upward to capture your lips and kiss you with mild desperation. That devious tongue sweeps over the roof of your mouth before curling up behind your top front teeth. 

Your entire world narrows down to Diego. Chocolate. Tastes like the smoothest Belgian chocolate in existence. He smells perfect, clean but definitively male to you. His silky button-down is smooth under your hands, stretched taut over muscle. Those massive hands gather you closer, molding you to that big, solid body. His beard scratches your face in soft tickles when he alters the angle of the kiss just so.

"Goddamn." A woman's voice exclaiming somewhere behind you catapults you back into the here and now. Which is a dinky little regional airport in rural central Pennsylvania. You know, a very public location in a very prudish area of the country. Fuck.

You pull back and Diego's hands shoot up to the back of your head. Holding you in place, he leans his forehead against yours with a contented sigh. He rumbles softly to you, "Take me home."

You feel so silly seeing Diego in the passenger seat of your Corolla, he just seems so out of place. "You can adjust the seat however, nobody really sits there. I just put it all the way back to make sure you can get in without cracking your head." You sound nervous even to your own ears.

Diego turns to you with a response but his attention is captured by the cup holders in the center console, specifically the Dunkin Donuts styrofoam cup. He points to it, then looks up at you with a slow grin. "Princess. Is this for me?"

You flush but can't stop the embarrassed little smile so you cover it with sass, "Well, it sure as hell ain't for me." You start the car and give Jim a little wave. He winks and gives you two thumbs up. Yeah, I'm aware that you saw that kiss too, old man. Everyone saw that shit.

When Diego reaches for the coffee his fingers brush your hip. The contact burns and you suddenly remember that you have not touched this beautiful man for well over two weeks. Apparently he remembers, too, because he wraps that huge hand around your thigh with rather a lot of force. Right hand slapping down to cover his, your heart rate jumps through the roof. Did I take my blood pressure pill this morning?

"Don't." You choke out.

He rumbles softly next to you, purring with conceited pleasure. "Did my Princess miss Diego?" He asks you with an incredibly pornographic voice. 

"Oh, fuck you." Your answering groan is also obscene. So glad the windows are up.

His hoarse chuckle makes your thighs tremble. "You're Diego's good little girl, you will." He's right and you both know it. You would ride him right here in your own damn car if he demanded it. You have a problem.

He lets you redirect his hand to the coffee with only a little resistance. "Focus." You hiss.

"Me or you?" Diego quips.

"Yes." You declare.

Diego's guffaw is contagious and you don't even try to hold back.

Your apartment always seems like an adequate size until Diego is inside. No, bad Bicki. Do not say it like that. His presence just sort of… lounges about in a vaguely threatening but highly attractive manner. Much like the actual man on your couch. You tried to pick up dinner on the way but he just wanted to 'go home'. You are disgustingly happy that your place feels like home to him.

Diego had flopped on your couch immediately and hasn't moved since. Something is very definitely very wrong. There were bursts of your Murder Panther in the car, but he has been just subdued overall. He had turned your stereo up and smiled faintly, watching you sing along. He had also complained that the stereo in your car sucked (Agreed) and this was unacceptable. You're sure he'll do something ridiculously extravagant to remedy this.

You try to give him the remote, he takes it but doesn't do anything with it. You offer him food, both junk and something home-cooked, all you get is a shrug. You putter around for a while, picking things up and sighing before putting them down somewhere else. His dark eyes watch you, unfathomable. 

Finally you disappear to the bedroom only to return in your pajamas. This he likes, perking up and blinking rapidly. "Okay, I know you brought something softer than those jeans, so get comfy so I can order shitty pizza and cuddle you."

His jaw drops in momentary shock. Then he scoffs, "I do not cu--"

You cut him off, "Yes, you do and yes, you're going to. Up. Now." This has to be hilarious. This short little woman in overly long pants barking orders at the massive man who heads an international drug cartel. Well, its either hilarious or fatal. I'm about to find out.

Diego looks around, as if someone else might secretly be here to witness him be a little bit submissive and moderately soft. He raises his chin in a tiny show of defiance. "Fine. But I am showering first." He glares with this proclamation, daring you to contradict him.

You throw your hands up in the air. Why the fuck would I have a problem with that?? His eyes follow your hands, like a cat when you try to point out a bit of food but all it does is rub your finger. You sigh, resigned to your fate. "Of course that's fine, Diego. You know where everything is, have at it."

You watch his butt as he walks away to the bathroom. 

The pizza actually isn't shitty and Diego eats half of it by himself. When you offer him the cinnamon dessert sticks he shoots you a calculating look. You split the contents, pulling two sticks over to yourself and piling up the rest in front of him. His delighted grin is decidedly not calculated and you lose track of time watching him enjoy dessert.

He's beautiful like this. He wears a soft, silky t-shirt that is tight enough to help you get through the nights you spend alone. His hair is a riot of fluffy curls, free of product and clearly trying to break free of gravity, too. He hasn't shaved for at least a few days and that salt and pepper beard is filling in nicely. His face is unguarded, expression open, those laugh lines and dimples you love make frequent appearances.

After dinner you lay all over each other in some weird we-have-intimacy-issues approximation of cuddling. It works so you don't question it. He has his laptop and you have your tablet and together you have sporadic conversation. Its comfortable. 

Until Diego asks you a seemingly innocuous question that you know is very nefarious:

"What color do you like in cars?"

Your eyes narrow so much that you have trouble seeing. "...Why." Your low tone might be frightening to anyone else.

He looks at you over the laptop screen, brown eyes innocently wide. "Just curious. Your car is green. Do you like any other colors?" He slowly pulls the laptop closer to himself to subtly cover the screen with his bulk. 

"Diego." You slowly put down your tablet and start leaning toward him. He has nowhere to go, propped up in the corner of the chaise end of the sofa. "What. Are. You. Doing." 

"Will you let me take care of you? Just in this one way right now?" He licks his lips, brow furrowed in concentration. Building desperation shows in his eyes and you can't fight that. You don't want to win this.

"Let me see, baby." Your sighed acquiescence has an instantaneous effect. Diego drops the tension from his shoulders and opens an arm to you in invitation. You crawl up him to cuddle into his chest, wedged on your side between all those muscles and the back of the sectional. From here you are stationed directly in front of the laptop screen.

He is looking at cars. 

Armored cars. 

Armored, bulletproof, explosive resistant cars. 

What. The. Fuck.

"Diego, what the fuck is going on?!?" Your apprehensive demand sets him right back on edge. You can feel him go tense underneath you. The laptop gets shoved onto an empty cushion as you throw yourself over him. Tiny hands land on those broad shoulders with extreme force as you use all of your deadweight to trap him. Below you, Diego shakes but you can't tell if its from anger or anxiety because his eyes are scrunched closed tightly. "Tell me why I need a fucking bulletproof car!"

He surges up into your face to match your volume, "She knows! Mi hermana perra knows about you! Alicia found out about us!" You lurch back in shock, but the steel hands on your hips stop you from retreating. His voice is hoarse, louder than you've ever heard him, and its terrifying. Your fear must show because he releases his grip on you like it burns. 

"WHAT?" The ramifications here could truly be lethal. Alicia has already tried to set Diego up to take the fall when they were arrested almost four months ago. You know she has scorned Diego's familiarity with his men in the past, that is why he handpicks them personally. To Alicia, everyone is disposable, even her own brother. Her only loyalty is to herself.

Diego's hands come up in an aborted reach for you. You're still too shocked to move. His face crumbles in agony and he blinks furiously, hands balling into fists. "Everything I have ever wanted she has ensured I never got. She, she manipulates me into destroying everything I touch. I will not let her hurt you! I refuse to allow her to break us, mi amor!!" His volume has steadily escalated until he is yelling. 

He's afraid. He is afraid that he will lose me. The realization emboldens you enough to take his hands in your own, bring them to your chest, and press them close to your heart. You trust that he won't hurt you in his rage. You don't fear him, this dangerous, powerful, ruthless man that you love.

His hands open to slide up your shoulders, curl around your neck, and his thumbs glide over the pulse point under your ears. He brings your face to his own, his expression twisted up with fear and anger and possession and love. 

"You are mine! And I will keep you!"

You realize everything that you have been debating with yourself, all of your pro versus con lists, your stupid little dry erase board covered in sticky notes with your fears, your scribbled timeline of events and possible future predictions, none of it matters. All you care about is the man in your arms. Diego is the most important thing in your life and you can't imagine a life without him. If you had to give up everything to keep him, you would do it in a heartbeat. 

Your hands grip tightly around his wrists and you consciously straighten your spine. Expression hardening, your eyes open to meet his anguished gaze.

 "I want black."

The armored 2020 Camry is delivered that Sunday. You thank him for finding something inconspicuous with an upgraded JBL sound system and he compliments your understated color choice of Black Sand Metallic. By the time you drop him off at the airport that evening you've managed to replace the new car smell with something better and you're thankful that the leather seats just wipe clean. Monday morning in the parking lot at work, however, is a literal ordeal.

---------------------

The next two weeks feel like they’re seven months long. You clock out at noon on Thursday to a chorus of your coworkers making vaguely lewd remarks and howling with laughter about your vacation. 'Two whole weeks on a beach in Mexico with an absolutely loaded hottie' is what they've been repeating gleefully all week. 

You turn around and walk backwards to give them finger guns, "Yes," then you reach down to adjust your pants, "And YES." Their squeals are contagious and you're still laughing when you burst out the front doors to drive home. 

You turn the volume waaaay too high in the car so that your teeth vibrate and it feels like you're having heart palpitations. I love this fucking car and I love that man. 

There is a rental Tahoe parked in the grass next to the huge gravel driveway at your farmhouse, but he left the second assigned parking space next to your Corolla open so you can park The Beast (as you have affectionately named your new ride) appropriately while away. When you get out of the car you glance up instinctively, Diego is standing outside your front door on the small third floor balcony laughing. 

"Are you deaf yet, Princess?" He hollers down in amusement. 

You flip him off with the middle finger that wears the gemstone ring he gave you while yelling back, "WHAAAAT??"

His laughter fades as he disappears inside, leaving the door wide open to let out all the cold air. Were you raised in a barn?? Close the door, the electric bill-- You cut off your own thoughts when you suddenly remember that you haven't been paying that electric bill for the last six months. Nevermind.

Before you can start up the stairs, Sara, your first floor neighbor, appears on the porch with their toddler. "Hey stranger!" Sara waves with a big smile and the kid does the same but with some kind of unidentifiable kitchen utensil in hand. "That is your boyfriend, right? He had a key so I didn't think it was your ex but I wanted to make sure. I mean, from what I just saw it is your boyfriend. Also, holy shit, that's your boyfriend?"

If she says the word 'boyfriend' one more time I'm going to spontaneously combust. 

"Uh yeah, definitely not my ex. Sorry, I forget that you guys haven't really seen him before, I meant to tell you he was coming." You can feel your face burning and it isn't from the August sun. Sara fans her own face with a hand while mouthing 'he's hot' like you're somehow unaware. You forge on before she can start gushing aloud. "We're actually leaving on a trip tonight so I'll be gone for the next two weeks."

Now Sara drops the kid and scrambles over to whisper fiercely to you, "Oh my god, seriously? Where are you going? Wait, this is the same guy you've been going to see in New York, right? How long has it been, like a year? Is he taking you on a trip for your anniversary? I don't even know his name. Oh my god, that is so sweet!"

Okay, down girl. You're not sure who you're trying to will into being chill, Sara or yourself. 

"Um, we're going to Mexico. And yeah, he's the guy in New York. It's just a vacation." You don't even touch the relationship questions with a ten foot pole. You glance up but Diego is still inside, Thank fuck. 

Sara hops a little in excitement. "I'm sooo jealous!" She squeals. "You have to take a ton of pictures! I need to see! Oh my god, I bet you guys are such a cute couple!" You nod and start backing away, trying to wave goodbye so you can climb the stairs and then climb Diego. "Ooh ooh, wait, what's his name?" Sara hisses conspiratorially. "Does he speak Mexican? Is he Mexican!?!"

You suddenly remember why you tried to move away from this area. Repeatedly. "Yeah, he's Mexican and yes, he speaks Spanish." You sigh. Sara nods but continues staring at you expectantly. Fine. "His name is Diego."

Sara makes a stupid face like this is a rom-com movie. I cannot take anymore, you must shut the fuck up. "Okay, okay. I won't hold you up. But seriously, we can have a 'pics and wine' girls' night when you come back!" She waves maniacally before snatching up the kid and skipping back inside. 

I can't think of anything I would like less. Oh hell no.

You climb the stairs in record time before she can come back outside and start talking again.

Bastian, Julio, and a third man you don't know are in your living room. You do not care and your vague wave shows it. You can hear Julio's warm 'Gordita!' greeting as you spin around and march to the bedroom.

Diego is standing at your bed, tucking TMP into your small duffel, when you burst through the doorway and continue at full speed directly into him. He laughs breathlessly but holds steady against your weight. "Princess. Are you ready?"

You take overflowing fistfuls of his shirt, bury your face in his chest, suck in a huge lungful of air, and shriek at full volume.

"Uhhh...that is a yes, si?" He mutters uncertainly above you. 

You rear back to look up at him with a smile so wide it hurts.

"Oh good." His hands come to your shoulders while those beautiful brown eyes sparkle. The dimples and laugh lines come out as he absorbs your infectious excitement. Your hands shoot up to his hair to yank him down so you can crash your mouths together with bruising force.

The effect is immediate. He moans loudly and crushes you against him. You dig nails into his neck and you lick your way into his mouth, his hands snake down to your ass to hold tight. Your left leg comes up as you try to wrap it around his hips. With a pained groan he rips those lips off of yours and pulls back. Undeterred, you move on to assaulting his now bared throat, moaning like porn come to life.

"Princess," he gasps, "You have to sto-- uhhh, yes, bonita. Your fucking tongue." You're too busy licking his adam's apple to pay attention to words right now. "Nooo, mi amor, please, lo siento, stopstopstop." You get in one last nip of his collarbone as he pulls your head back via a handful of ringlets. His pupils are blown wide and he's panting hard. You stare longingly at his delectable mouth while making pitiful whines.

"Please, baby, pleeeease. You're all I've thought about for days. I need you!" You try shameless begging, you're certainly not lying. Petting over his shoulders and down that solidly muscled chest, you shudder and try to pull yourself back to him.

He closes his eyes with a grimace. "Flight! Fuck you on the flight!" He croaks, then yanks your hair harder than you like. The pain clears the fog just enough for you to blink back to awareness. You nod jerkily and step back. "Have to leave now to get there before dark." He explains in a rushed huff. You blink as you remember how time works.

"Right. Yeah, right. Okay. Okay." Straightening to attention you yank off the cardigan you wore for the air conditioning at work, leaving you in a tank top and ready to be productive. Focus on not-dick.

Diego shoves your favorite notepad in your face so you can see your packing list and not him. The distraction works. He has checked off every item in each categorized list but left the strike through action for your completion. You lower the notepad until you can make eye contact with him and intensely whisper, "You know I fuckin' love you, right?"  

He laughs so hard he has to sit down on the bed.

You go through every bag, touching each item and crossing it off your list one at a time. He did it. Everything but you.

"You know I don't need TMP, right?"

"Why?" He squints up at you from where he lounges across your bed. 

Your face heats up and you clear your throat. "Well, its, I'm. I have, uh, you. So I don't need anything else." The realization of how true that is in every sense gives both of you pause.

Diego surges upright to cup your face and bonk your foreheads together just a little too hard. You giggle and he huffs. 

"Mi amor…" he sighs for you, eyes closing in pleasure. You 'mmmmm' in response. Then his eyes snap open and he growls an order, "Get changed so we can go!" And punctuates it with a stinging slap to your ass.

----------------------------

You spend the flight with your face pressed to the window, vibrating in excitement, except for a brief intermission of seven orgasms in the bathroom.

The unknown third man is Joey, Bastian's boyfriend. Joey is even quieter than Bastian and just as cute. They're not overly demonstrative but clearly comfortable moving around each other. Joey works in "Packaging" and does an admirable job of ignoring his cartel drug lord boss being snuggly. Julio naps. 

The customs agent at the Cancun airport looks you up and down with wide eyes but stamps your passport with no questions. Its a five hour drive to Xcalak but Diego is adamant it can be done in three. You give him an eyebrow question which he dismisses with a vague wave, "They paved the road all the way to the southern border last year."

Uhh, they what now? You understand soon enough. The drive drastically changes outside of Cancun. The scenery is both beautiful and heartbreaking. There are occasional mansions with armed guards, high fences, and SUVs like your own current ride. Mostly though, its shacks and people on foot or riding bicycles, weaving to avoid stray dogs and huge iguanas. Could I handle this as my daily reality?

The first time the road sidles right up to the ocean you have a small meltdown.

 "Is that what I think it is?" Your soft whisper is accompanied by a shaking hand pointing to the left. Diego, crammed into the middle of the backseat between yourself and Julio so you could have an unobstructed view, indicates an order for Bastian to pull over. He reaches across you and pops open your door. You slide out with his hand on your lower back and take about a dozen steps to the lapping water. Diego appears to your right, watching you intently.

 "Its gre-e-e-en!" Your stuttering squeal is accompanied by happy tears and you fling yourself into Diego with joy. He laughs at you, but hugs you back just as tightly.

----------------------------

The first week passes in a blur of amazing food, warm green sea, fruity drinks, and shirtless wet Diego. And so many orgasms that you can't keep count. Diego is all over you non-stop, more than he ever has been before (Astonishingly). Its incredible and you feel like the only person in the world. If he's not molesting you then he is at least touching you; keeping you in his lap, holding your hand, cuddling and petting and snuggling like a man obsessed. 

You love it. You love him. You love this life.

On Saturday he lets you lead him through the tiny town, your Spanish improving by leaps and bounds as you try to navigate the streets and alleys and shops. The four years of high school Spanish actually prove useful as you manage to complete a purchase all by yourself. Your playful mock smugness evaporates under the blazing desire in his eyes. 

He drags you back to the casita in a much shorter and more direct route than you took upon earlier departure. You're marched directly to the bed and he puts one massive hand in the middle of your chest to gently push you down onto your back. There is something different about this, something important in his eyes. Your voice is high and soft, "Diego?"

He climbs up between your legs and leans down to kiss you senseless. It goes on forever; soft lips, scratchy beard, silky tongue, and nothing but the taste of Diego. Your moans and sighs are mixed together, there are moments when you can't tell who is making what noise. His hands are shaking as he strokes every inch of newly bared and sunburnt sensitive skin while undressing you. 

It takes repeated attempts, but you finally get him naked, too. The sight never fails to take your breath away. All that soft, and now freshly tanned, skin is like velvet to your touch. You're mesmerized by his muscles flexing and then evening out as he moves above you. He finally gets your linen pants untangled off your left foot and flings them across the room with unnecessary force. Your soft peals of laughter light up his face and it brings tears to your eyes. You reach a hand out to him, "Diego. Baby."

He comes up over you, threading fingers into your hair, kissing you slowly and thoroughly. You can feel him against you, fire hot and mouth wateringly hard, but he makes no move to take you. Your eyes open in hazy confusion as the kiss ends. Diego is watching your face, blinking back tears. 

He is holding your head still, hands like steel. Whatever this is, he needs it. And you want to give him everything he needs. Forever.

You're captured by his eyes, bottomless, soulful, and hungry. His raspy voice is soft and trembling with desire. "I love you, Bicki. I want everything. Forever, Princess?" 

Your chest compresses and your heart implodes. Scalding tears escape when you blink and you're nodding before you even know it. "Yes, Diego. Yes, baby, I'm yours." 

Your back arches off the bed as he comes home and brings you with him.

-----------------------

You wake up crushed under Diego. The sun is still up so you might be able to talk him into going out for dinner. You rub your cheek on the huge bicep doubling as your pillow and Diego sighs directly into your ear from where he is spooned up behind you. Oh yeah, we should have done this waaaay sooner.

He nuzzles your neck just to incite squirmy giggles and you don't even fight it. "I have something for you, Princess. Stay here." He pulls away and you whine about the loss of your pillow. His low chuckle burns you alive with want. "Stay like that. Do not move." You obey while you listen to him rummage around behind you.

He comes around to your side of the bed, still completely and unabashedly nude. Hell. Fucking. Yes. You love it. He hands your glasses over and you slide them on to take in the now high definition view of naked Murder Panther. The view disappears as he kneels down next to the bed so you're on eye level. His expression is very peculiar. 

His hands slowly come up to reveal a small box of black velvet. Time slows to a halt as he opens the box and presents it to you. 

Inside is a ring. Gleaming in platinum and sparkling with three tastefully large princess cut diamonds. 

Its an engagement ring.

Diego is proposing. 

He swallows hard and rumbles gruffly, "Now remember, you already said y--"

You cut him off with a shriek. "YES! YESYESYES!!"

In the time it takes him to blink twice with surprise you're on him. Arms around his neck, you throw yourself into his lap. He topples backwards and you ride him to the floor, already bawling hysterically. 

He stares up at you in shock as you nod furiously and cry all over him. "Princess. You… you are certain?" If this were any other time you would be howling with laughter at his huge eyes and lax jaw. 

Your answer is stuttery but determined. "Y-y-yeah. Put it-t-t-t on me already!" 

He laughs in delight at your order and the imperious presentation of your shaking left hand. The ring glides on easily, a perfect fit. It gleams up at you blindingly. After a moment of admiration you lace your fingers with his and sigh at the union. His other hand comes up to roughly brush away your tears. "I know you do not like labels so much… but, you will be my, my married... Person. Thing?" 

You stroke his bearded cheek in return, thumb lingering on that dimple. With a hard gulp you dive in head first. Fuck it.

"Yes, Diego. I will be your wife."

----------------------

The next time you wake it is dark out. You reach for a phone on the nightstand to your left and jump when you find one with a loud crack. Diego pops upright behind you, instantly on high alert. "Princess?" He hisses while covering your body with his own.

You gigglesnort, then meekly answer him, "I forgot about the ring and whacked a phone. Everything's okay, baby."

He sighs so deeply that his breath ruffles your hair. "Jesus fucking christ, woman. You are a menace."  He flops down on top of you and snuggles back into your warmth. 

You reach back with your left hand and grope blindly for his face. He licks your fingers as soon as they're in reach and you stuff them into his mouth as retaliation. He just sucks languidly. 

"Mmmmmm, I'm your menace, baby. And I have to pee." He nips your fingers but rolls over to free you. You slide out of the bed and stretch your arms high while arching your back. Diego groans painfully. "What?"

Diego rises to all fours on the bed while the sheet slithers off of him. "You forget that other people can see without glasses, huh?" You cock your head and realize that you have a shadow.

It's a full moon. And I just stretched naked in front of a sliding glass door. "Oh. Huh. I guess I do forget. Oops. I'll be sure to keep that in mind now." Your seemingly tame answer is directly contradicted by the exaggerated roll of your hips that makes your butt bounce when you walk off. 

"Fucking menace, woman." Diego growls as you push the bathroom door shut with a trill of laughter.

You never do go back to bed but you do wind up on the beach in front of the casita to watch the sunrise. Julio finds you both snuggled together late the next morning, still asleep on the covered daybed under the palms while the rising tide comes ever closer. At least Julio has the decency to cover your bare ass with a beach towel.

-----------------------------------

By the time you think to check your phone gallery you have… 1,792 pictures. WHAT THE FUCK. 

You scroll through the pics, there are a lot you do not remember taking. Was I that drunk or did Diego take some of these? One is a close up of your ass from below wearing a string bikini, I knew I wasn't that drunk. The next pic is Diego asleep on a lounge chair, one arm curled up above his head, muscles glistening in the sun, and swim trunks so low on his hips that it's almost obscene. Immediately following that is the same pic but with your own face photobombing about three inches away from the camera and giving a thumbs up with your left hand so your engagement ring is prominently visible. Oh yeah, I remember that one. 

There are videos, too. The first one is Diego making lewd comments while you twerk in the ocean for about ten seconds. Okay, that's par for the course with us. Next is you successfully backflipping off of Diego's shoulders into the green water to everyone freaking out. Shit, even I'm impressed with myself. After that is video of you gagging through a dish of octopus at some restaurant. Both of you are clearly visible in the shot so Julio must have had the phone. Betrayal. 

There are tens of dozens of the two of you in various poses and outfits, both disgustingly happy and blatantly in love. There's even a role reversal shot of Diego sprawled across your lap, one enormous arm wrapped around your neck and his knees over your own arm while you grimace and he laughs hysterically. The table to your right is covered in empty bottles and mostly finished drinks. An entire subsection depicts you asleep like you have a stalker. You count no less than 29 of you two trying on increasingly ridiculous hats in random stores.

You can't even keep count of all the close ups of a smoldering Murder Panther. You feel no guilt.  Aren't you supposed to be ridiculously attracted to your fiancé??

Fiancé.

You have a fiancé. Your fiancé is Diego. You are engaged to Diego Rafael Jimenez. 

I have to explain this ring to everyone. They'll have questions about him. People will want pictures. How do I explain what he does?? Oh my god, there's no closet here. I have to… find somewhere. And I can't I can't. Its-

Your head jerks upright when something touches your hair. Its Diego. Kneeling on the floor in front of you, he has unfurled a sheet over you to block out everything, and he waits there, watching you. Before you realize it your hands are reaching for his shoulders, just the feel of him, warm and solid under your hands, calms you. 

Slowly, his right hand comes up to cover your left. "No closet, Princess." His huge fingers grip yours tightly. You nod a little. He just watches you, eyes guarded. 

"Ask. Go ahead." You mutter. You can tell from his posture that he is uneasy, apprehensive. 

He locks eyes with you and his gaze is intense. He curls all of his fingers around your left ring finger. "Still yes?" 

The fear in his eyes breaks your heart. Your voice is shaky but determined, "No. You can't get rid of me. I'm your problem now, baby."  His expression would make a meeker woman cower in fear, you laugh weakly. 

He settles down on the tile floor in front of you, with the sheet over both of you. Its like four in the afternoon and I am sharing a blanket fort with my cartel boss fiancé while on vacation in Mexico. What even is my life? His elbows are on his knees, chin in hand. He studies you for a minute, you stare right back. He raises one eyebrow and you sigh in capitulation. 

"I don't know how to just be happy. I suck at it."  You shrug but reach for his face. Diego nuzzles into your hand while you stroke your thumb over his beard. 

"Habby isz nawt a berb." He slurs into your palm with a soft kiss.

The epiphany is like a cinder block to the brain. 

He's right. I don't have to 'do' anything. I'm happy right now. I've been happy every time I'm with him. And no one had to exert any effort.

People can define themselves. People can define their relationships. Why can't they define their own normal? I can make my own rules. Especially with someone like Diego as my partner.

His one eyebrow slowly rises as he watches your thoughts play out across your face. "You back?" He asks with a hidden smirk, you know its there from the way his eyes crinkle with laugh lines.

"Yup!" Is your decisive answer. Diego licks your palm. "I got better places you can lick, baby." You answer his smirk with a waggling eyebrow. 

The rest of the afternoon passes in a blur of play wrestling and inappropriate noises.

-----------------------

You do, in fact, go on a safari. Of sorts. Tours of ruins and jungle and cenotes, lots of side quests because the both of you are easily distracted by pretty colors. You probably added another thousand pictures of various palm trees to your gallery. The hat makes multiple appearances. 

Diego has to ship a crate home to New York because he bought you too many souvenirs. You laugh and tease him when he wants to pick out things for your middle sister and niece, until you hear his logic. 

"They were nice to me." He murmurs with a little half-shrug, "It was like being in a real family for a little bit." He studies the bins of painted shells on display in the little store with way too much focus.

You spend a moment deliberating before you decide to reach out and touch his elbow.

 "Hey," your soft voice brings his gaze your way momentarily before he goes back to ceramic turtle magnets. You take his hand with your own right and rest your left hand on his chest. Diego looks down where your ring glints in the light, then up to your face. "You know you're going to be part of that 'real' family, right?"

Diego's boyish little smile is heartbreakingly adorable. 

---------------------------------

The flight home is much shorter than you want it to be and you spend most of it asleep on Diego. At one point you wake up to see Bastian and Joey cuddled up together napping. When you look up from where your head is resting in Diego's lap he is already looking down at you with an unreadable expression.

"What?" You whisper softly. You stifle a yawn and blink repeatedly. 

Diego strokes one big hand over your hair and grips your jaw firmly. With a huge toothy grin he answers, "Mine." 

"Uh huh. How many times you need me to say yes, baby?" You smirk up at him with an arched brow. He seems to be reveling in hearing you readily admit your commitment to him.

He considers your question carefully while his other hand trails down the front of your body under a blanket. I don't remember having a blanket earlier. Finally, Diego settles on "Every day. At least seven times. Seven is a good number, right Princess?" 

Your body jerks as his fingers press between your thighs with steady determination. Your eyes flick over to Bastian and Joey, still out cold. You make a show of wiggling around to get comfortable, and, surprisingly, that involves spreading your legs. "Yessss." You hiss up at him.

Julio reclines his seat and exaggeratedly covers his face with a new hat. 

Seven is a very good number.

------------------------------------------

Your first day back to work is a circus. You don't think twice about your normal greeting as you enter the office suite. You swipe your badge with your right hand and pop the door, then wave 'hi' to everyone. Like usual. With your left hand. 

There is an excessive amount of squealing that makes you second guess going into a female dominated field. The whole day is a wash because you have a steady stream of people passing through your cubicle. You're glad you had the forethought to curate a photo album of appropriate images to show your coworkers despite Diego's repeated attempts to sneak a dick pic in there somewhere. You most definitely included the glistening swim trunks lounge chair picture. Squealing intensifies.

Everyone comments on the hat and you're forced to tell the story of the hat. How you once told Diego that you wanted to see palm trees, 'But like, in the wild.' And Diego had laughed so hard that he fell off the bed only to pop back up wheezing about a 'Palm Tree Safari' until you smacked him in the face with a pillow. Your coworkers think it is just disgustingly adorable that he never let you live that down. 

Your coworkers have questions:

When is the wedding? 

Where are you having it?

What kind of dress do you want?

What are your colors?

Are you going to do flowers?

What about the cake?

Who is your maid of honor?

How did your family take the news?

What about his family?

Are you going to New York?

Will you take his name?

Oh shit. I forgot about the whole 'wedding' part of this.

[assassins-and-hidden-blades]

Acceptance

Hey! I love your stories so much and wanted to know if i could please have a story with Evie? Reader is an assassin but a mission went wrong and someone dear to reader is killed. Reader is trying to hide the pain, grief and anger. Evie notices that something is wrong, is worried, but doesnt push it. Reader goes out to get revenge but gets hurt during, and after returning to Evie on the train, she breaks down and tells Evie everything and Evie comforts her lover/treats her wound.

Sorry this took so long!! I decided to tweak the plot ever so slightly. All this quarantine stuff has given me so much spare time so I think I’ll be able to finish all my requests and hopefully do a few of my own. I can’t believe I managed to write 2K words for this fic :D Enjoy!! Y/B/N = Your brother’s name

This is F!Reader, btw -- if anyone wants a M!Reader version, please let me know!

Tagging: @marshmallow--3​ / @yourlocalfrenchie​ 

Warnings: Grief, violence, swearing, sibling death, ANGST

Requested by Anonymous

Evie sat in your carriage, watching you buckle your gear to your torso. The silence was only broken by the occasional clinks of metal and a question.

“Are you sure you don’t want me and Jacob to come with you? Backup is always useful.”  

You smirked. “I appreciate you asking, Evie -- even if it has been for the twentieth time -- but I’ll be fine. Y/B/N and I have planned this mission for a month. It’s straightforward enough for even him to follow.”

Evie smiled at that. “Just… come back safely -- and preferably in one piece.” She came towards you and pecked your lips tenderly. 

“I’ll be back, even if it means returning in a million pieces.”

She kissed you again, and sighed into your lips when she heard the train whistle blow; it was time for you to go.

“Be safe, Y/N. Be careful.”

“I will.” You smiled with a twinkle in your eyes, pulling your cowl over your head and stepping off the train. Within seconds, you had disappeared into the crowd.

----------

“Are you ready?” You glanced over at your younger brother as you shared a roof overlooking the backstreets of Westminster, days after separating from Evie.

He scoffed in return. “Since the day I was born.” 

You rolled your eyes, smiling. This stronghold was one of the biggest in London; Devil’s Acre. “Whatever you do, don’t let them spot you.” 

He smirked. “Of course.” And with that, he disappeared into the window of the building you were perching on. 

Finally alone, you played to your strengths and scanned the area. The amount of snipers on the rooftops left you with no other option but to take them out first. You crept behind each and every one of them and eliminated them silently. Even Evie would be impressed with your skill. 

With the rooftops clear, you went for the next target; the heist plans. Y/B/N’s first objective was to free the captured rooks, so you could both regroup and take out the leader together. It didn’t take much searching to find the plans -- Blighters always kept them in an isolated room with an open window frame anyway. You vaulted through and quietly hit the floor, sourcing the plans and burning them. Perching upon the window ledge, you prepared to launch towards the opposite building when a gunshot rang out.

A sudden cold sweat washed over you, and adrenaline began to pump tenfold through your veins. It sounded from the other side of the building you were in. Quickly, you jumped up and over onto the roof, desperate to find the destination of the bullet.

You regretted looking over the edge. 

Y/B/N had crumpled to his knees, a hand against his stomach. The leader had an entourage, and you  watched as he booted your brother in the face, sending him to the floor, lifeless. Shock paralysed you. It was only when they left into the other courtyard when you snapped out of it, leaping two whole storeys in a rush to be beside your younger sibling. 

Sliding to your knees, you grasped his cheeks, which were caked in mud. “Y/B/N… Oh my God.” You began to hyperventilate when his eyes opened, glazed and hazy. “I’m so sorry. I should’ve--” He stopped your blabbering by putting a finger to your lips. “Shut up... and breathe.” You stopped talking and instead began to put pressure on the wound. You were, however, met with surprising resistance. “D-Don’t try… or you won’t m-make it out alive either.” He took in a painful breath. “Save yourself, Y/N/N. It’s too late for me. But not for you. Don’t die here.” He pushed your hands off of him. “Go.”

When you didn’t move, he shoved your shoulder with unexpected strength. “Go!” 

Tears streaming, you kissed his hand. “I love you -- I’m sorry.”

When you ran, he blinked his own fear out of his own eyes. 

“I know.” A whisper to himself as his head met the ground again, the stars his last remaining comfort as he released another warm breath.

----------

You retreated to a pub to hide as reinforcements came into the area. You didn’t drink -- you couldn’t drink. 

You didn’t know when you would ever drink again. 

Instead, you lurked in the back of the room, cloaked in the shadows. Your cowl hid your grief. Instead, you waited. You wanted to bide your time, so you could make those responsible pay.

----------

The next night, you met with a rook who sold extra weapons. You traded him a few extra bank notes for a new revolver and extra bullets. Stealth was not on the table this time around. Your tunnel vision sent you back to one destination, and one destination only:

Devil’s Acre.

----------

You gathered a few rooks for the sole reason of eliminating the henchmen. You didn’t want to waste your time with them when you had other people on your agenda. Walking through the open courtyards, you watched as Blighters scrambled for their weapons, only to be shot down seconds after. With a calm and cold demeanour, you headed for the central building, where you were sure they were hiding. 

You didn't check to see whether the door was locked; you kicked it down anyway. With your gun drawn, you hit each member of the leader’s entourage in the chest or head. In a moment, it was just you and the leader himself, separated only by a table.

“You killed my brother.” You advanced steadily towards him.

“My dear, you just killed all my friends.”

You shot a round, emphasising your anger. “You killed my BROTHER!” 

You barely reacted in time as he pulled out his own firearm. You kicked the table on its side and ducked, kneeling alongside it. Bullets ricocheted through the table. Once he began to reload, you came up from behind cover, shooting repeatedly into areas that would cripple but not kill him instantly. When you ran out of bullets, you flipped over the table and watched as his knees buckled, thighs, stomach, a shoulder, and a knee hit and bleeding. 

“You killed my younger brother. Now you’ll pay.”

It was obvious he was in pain, but he made his best efforts to hide it. “My dear, you failed to protect your younger brother. It seems that it is you who will pay.” You followed his gaze to your side, and saw a blossoming circle of red. Looking back to the table, you noticed a dark smear against it. In the next second a bullet went through the leader’s brain. You were still looking at the table. 

Slowly, you allowed your legs to give out from underneath you, pained tears in your eyes. Your body crumpled against the floor, your eyes trained lazily on the entrance to the building, where a child stood. The image became blurred, and soon faded into darkness. 

----------

“Y/N/N, love, can you hear me?” It was a male voice, and you felt something tap against your cheek; a hand. 

“Y/B/N?” You mumbled weakly. 

“No, love, it’s Jacob. Can you open your eyes for me?” Slowly, you blinked your eyes open. The child from earlier was staring down at you, with Jacob kneeling opposite. He was dressed in only a white shirt, from what you could see. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, decorated with red spots of blood. You hadn’t moved from where you last lost consciousness. “Y/N, can you keep talking to me?” You felt fingers at the wound in your side. 

“Please, don’t touch -- agh!” A stabbing pain in your gut fired your nerves.

“I need to get the bullet out, Y/N; then we can get you back to the train, and more importantly, to Evie… God knows she’s much better at this than I am.” The last part he seemed to whisper to himself. “Almost there, we’re almost there… There it is! No more prodding, Y/N; it’s over now.”

Jacob glanced at the boy. “Arthur, did you get the carriage I asked for?”

“Yes, sir. It’s outside right now.” 

“Thanks; we’re just about ready to go.” You felt a cold pressure against the wound and the zip of tape being unwound. “I’m taping on some gauze so you don’t bleed all over my carriage.” Even under pressure, he could crack a joke or two. Your throat was growing hoarse from the cries of pain.

Your vision began to cloud over again when you felt your body lift from the floor and into your friend’s chest.

“Now, let’s get you back to Evie.”

----------

The next time you awoke, it was to the soft rumblings of the train. For a second, you couldn’t remember a thing, but in the next few moments it all came flooding back. You didn’t try to sit up… there was no point. 

Looking around, you saw that you were alone in your train carriage. For a few minutes, you gazed out of the window your bed was next to, before you heard the door being pulled back. You turned your head as Evie walked in, with rolls of bandages in her hand. When she saw you were awake, she smiled, almost sombrely. “I was wondering when you were going to wake up.” 

You scoffed. “I almost wish I didn’t.” 

Evie let out a sigh. “Y/N, what happened?” She pulled the covers down to your legs and began to examine and redress your wound. 

You waited until she was finished, building up the will to speak. 

You slowly swung your legs over the side of your bed and leaned against Evie’s shoulder. “Y/B/N’s dead.”

“What?” Evie tried not to sound surprised, in case you misinterpreted her tone of voice.

“He’s gone, Evie, and it’s all my fault.”

“Y/N, it’s not your fault.”

“He was my younger brother, Evie! It should’ve been me!” You stood up, not caring for the pain that shot through your torso.

“Y/N, don’t talk like that!” She brought her hands to your face. “It was all a game of chance. He knew the risks when he followed you into this life; he was prepared for the consequences.”

“But I wasn’t there for him when he needed me…” You broke down as you explained what happened, collapsing against your lover. She guided you to the floor and stayed there with you as you spoke.

“Y/N, if anything happened to Jacob, I would be torn apart. But the one thing that gives me comfort is that if he does meet a premature demise, it would be of his own agenda. His own, stupid, agenda.” 

You managed a sad chuckle. “I just wish it were me.”

Evie forced you to make eye contact with her. “I don’t.”

The resentment in your heart had begun to fade the more you stared into her bright irises. “Y/N, you are the best older sister a brother could ask for. You always will be a sister, and nobody could ask for someone as perfect as you for a sibling.”

Fresh, grateful tears began to leave another trail down your cheeks. “Thank you, Evie.”

She brought you into her shoulder and rubbed your back comfortingly. “Let’s get you back into bed.” 

You allowed her to haul your arm over her shoulders and support you back into bed. As you lied back down, Jacob entered the carriage. “Y/N, where was your mission?”

“It was Devil’s Acre, in Westminster.”

“I went with some Rooks to find Y/B/N…

“... But his body’s gone.”

[awake-dearheart]

SOS [w.w.]

Summary: Deadpool wakes up tied to a chair in a dark room. How did he get here? What will happen? Is it a freaky sex thing? Let’s find out!

Word Count: 2200

Warnings: Language, some small violence, mentions of Deadpool wanting to fuck people. You know, Deadpool things

A/N: Every time I write for Deadpool I think “I’m never doing this again” but then I remember how fun he is so I go with it. This is technically my entry for @afictionaladventure16‘s writing challenge and I am SO FUCKING LATE I’M SORRY. But it’s silly and funny and dumb. The prompt is in bold. Wade has two voices in his head. Italics is one, bold is the other. You’ll figure them out. Thankfully @jamesbuckybarnes-anon​ is better at moodboards than I am. If you like’d to be added to my permanent taglist, just send an ask!

“Son of a mother fucking ass bandit!”

The first thing I noticed when I woke up was a blinding headache. The second thing I noticed was I couldn’t see anything. I knew the headache couldn’t be a hangover. Super healing factor meant a super inability to get drunk. I had a vague memory of getting hit by something but for the life of me, I couldn’t remember what.

Oh, God. They hit us so hard we’ve gone blind. BLIND!

Calm yourself, please. We have accelerated healing. Any such blow would have resolved itself.

Then how do you explain the vast nothingness before us?

We have a bag on our head.

….Oh.

Suddenly, my bag was ripped away and tossed aside. The room I was in wasn’t much brighter than Bagland (trademark pending), but there was a small light in the far corner. I looked around for whoever stole my bag, but there was nobody. A metallic clicking sound was coming from somewhere behind me, but my desire to investigate and poke it with a stick was impeded when I realized I was tied to a chair.

“Great, just great,” I sighed. “This is definitely going to turn into a weird sex thing.”

Why is that always the first place your mind goes, Wade?

Have you met us?

Point made.

I tugged at the restraints, but they didn’t budge. I looked around again for something to cut me loose but the room was empty, except for me and whatever was making the mysterious ticking noise.

Maybe it’s a pipe bomb!

Why would it be a pipe bomb?

It’s an old internet reference. The kids will get it.

With no tools to cut me loose, I decided to resort to an old classic: hopping. I jumped and started moving my chair towards the light. If I could make it there I might be able to find a way out. Or shatter the light bulb and cut myself free. Either way. Before I could hop any more, a giant metal claw came out of the darkness and grabbed my head, slamming me into the ground.

“Well hello to you too, sunshine.”

“I’m glad to see that blow to the head hasn’t damaged your famous wit, Mr. Wilson.” As I laid on the floor, face smushed under Cable’s wildest fantasy, a shape emerged from the darkness. Giant metal tentacles stepped over me, carrying a short, dark-haired man.

Please be Alfred Molina. Please be Alfred Molina.

Hardly the time.

“Allow me to introduce myself,” he said. “My name is Dr. Otto Octavious.” He spoke with an accent that could make panties drop, but had a face that would bring them right back up.

“Let me guess, your friends call you Doc Ock?”

We are killing it with these references today.

Yes, even I must, as the youths say, give props.

We’re gonna work on that.

The doctor removed his claw from my face and used it to right my chair again. I shook my head and got my bearings back.

“The hospitality here is next level,” I said. “Really. Better than the Marriott in Time’s Square.”

“Charming, Mr. Wilson,” Otto drawled.

“I try to be. So, mind telling me what this is all about? If you’re after a ransom I have like $4 and a couple kilos of coke, but you’re gonna have to fight a blind old lady for the coke. And she’s a biter.” A door behind me opened and I heard several people enter.

“Ah, just in time,” Otto said. Five men joined the doctor in front of me and stared me down like a Backstreet Boys album cover.

“Meet the Sinister Six,” he said, pointing out each team member as he introduced them. “Maxwell Dillon, also called Electro. Sergei Kravinoff, known as Kraven the Hunter. Quentin Beck, aka Mysterio. Flint Marko, or Sandman. And Adrian Toomes, the Vulture.” I took my time regarding the men in front of me. Each of them had perfectly themed costumes and were looking at me like they wanted to rip me in half.

“Points for the original lineup but the team the game put together was way cooler,” I said. Mysterio took the giant fishbowl off his head and turned to Otto.

“What the hell is he talking about?”

“Pay him no mind, Mr. Beck,” Otto said, waving him off.

“I loved you in Bubble Boy,” I said simply.

“Mr. Wilson,” Doc interrupted. “It’s come to our attention that you are in possession of some very valuable information. And you’re going to give it to us.”

“And what information would that be, Octopussy?”

Wade, please do not antagonize them. Even with our accelerated healing, they could make things quite troublesome.

CALL HIM A PUSSY AGAIN!

“I have it on good authority that you’ve managed to infiltrate the Avenger’s tower not once, but twice.” The doctor stalked forward on his metal legs, bringing himself down to face me. “You’re going to tell me how we can get in undetected.”

“You’ll have to take that up with the author. By the time I gain consciousness I’m usually already inside.” Sparks shot from Electro’s fingertips as he stepped forward.

“Want me to loosen his lips?” he asked.

“That won’t be necessary, Mr. Dillon,” Otto said. He clickety-clacked behind me and came back with some kind of collar.

Here comes the weird sex stuff. I knew it.

I highly doubt that.

Otto moved over me and clamped a metal claw onto my thigh, shattering my femur.

“Mother fucker!” I groaned and rolled my head back, but as soon as he let go I felt my bone shifting back into place. “Is that all you’ve got? Some kidnappers you are.” The words had no sooner left my mouth when I felt the collar being fitted around my neck. The second it locked into place, my leg stopped healing. No more popping and shifting of bone, no more closing of surface wounds, nothing.

This is bad, big dog.

I agree, Wade. Without our healing factor we are in grave danger.

“A power dampening collar,” Octavious said. “Courtesy of our friends at The Raft.” He leaned in close again, this time so close I could smell his lunch. It was beef stroganoff.

“Here is what’s going to happen,” he threatened. “I’m going to leave the collar on you and let my team go to work. They will break every part of you. Every bone will shatter. Every inch of you will bruise. You will feel pain unlike you’ve ever known before. They will take you to the precipice of oblivion, and you will stare Death himself in the face. And just as he reaches up his cold hand to drag you down, I will remove the collar and allow your abilities to heal you. Then we will start all over again. Unless you tell me what I want to know.”

Holy fuck. I think I just shit our pants a little.

“Her,” I replied simply. Otto blinked and stared at me.

“What?”

“Death. She’s a her. And she’s super hot.” The doctor sighed and moved away. As he did, I wiggled my fingers into my sleeve, trying to find the little clicker I’d stashed for just such an emergency. As the doctor faded into the background, I found it and clicked it rapidly.

Time for Plan B.

Did we even have a Plan A?

“You may begin,” the doctor said, and the Sinister Six descended. Kraven took the lead, throwing punch after punch across my jaw. When he was done, Electro surged a shock through me, sending me into convulsions. Sandman stepped forward and I saw his fist transform into a giant sand hammer.

“Oh Thor wishes he-UGH!” He slammed it into my side and I felt three of my ribs break. The five men took turns working me over until my eyes were too swollen to see who was hitting me.

Hang on, Wade. They’re coming.

I hope they do. Even I’m having a hard time coming up with something funny.

They will. It’s what they do.

But boy did they take their sweet ass time.

By the time Otto took the collar off, I probably had over a dozen broken bones, several missing teeth, a mild to moderate concussion, and a raging case of terminal cancer kicking the absolute shit out of me. The second the collar came off, the air was filled with the pops and cracks of my bones realigning and starting to heal. I could feel new teeth filling the gaps in my mouth, and let me tell you, it felt really weird.

“Feel like talking, Mr. Wilson?” Otto asked.

“Well,” I started. “When I was six my dad left and I had this creepy uncle who used to babysit. I always got this really weird vibe off him.”

“I’m really gonna enjoy killing this guy,” Toomes said. From somewhere nearby, I could hear a faint whining sound.

Methinks the cavalry approaches.

I’d recommend ducking, Wade.

“You guys are about to get fucked up,” I laughed. Right on cue, a giant repulsor blast knocked a hole in the wall.

“Someone order Postmates?” Tony quipped, flying into the room. Otto growled and swung a tentacle at the other Avengers who were rushing in behind him. Someone shot something very explodey next to me, and it toppled me to the ground. I landed facedown, still somehow bound to the chair.

“Oh, come on. This is bull shit!”

I wonder if this is just so the author doesn’t have to write another fight scene.

SHUT UP SHE’LL HEAR YOU!

I stared helplessly at the floor as the fight went on around me. It sounded really cool. I bet it looked really cool. Sure wish I knew what was going on. After a few minutes, the sounds of fighting died down and someone was hauling me upright. Once I was finally free I turned and looked into the beautiful blue eyes of Steve Rogers.

“Well, hello gorgeous,” I said with a smirk.

“Wade?” he asked. I wasn’t sure if he was surprised to see me or just dealing with the shock of seeing my unmasked face for the first time.

“You have got to be fucking kidding me!” Tony screamed from across the room. “You’re the distress call?” I stood up with a stretch and waved at him.

“Hey, Tony!” From behind him, Peter popped into view and waved back.

“Hi, Mr. Wilson!”

“Hi, Angel!” I called back.

“Did he just call Peter ‘Angel’?” someone asked. Over Cap’s shoulder, I spotted the god damn Winter Soldier.

I’m not sure who’s prettier: him or Steve.

Objectively they’re both quite attractive.

I wonder if they’d be into an all-male threesome.

“Yeah, he does that,” Steve answered his best friend. “Wade, how did you get one of our SOS beacons?”

“A little kitty grabbed it for me,” I shrugged. “Cost me an arm and a nut, but Felicia’s worth every penny.” Bucky chuckled and holstered the weapon in his metal hand.

“That’s my girl,” he mumbled.

“Your girl needs to stop stealing my shit,” Tony snapped, marching over and snatching the beacon from my hand. “Give me that. Members only!” He turned and headed for the door.

“Where are you going?” Steve asked.

“Home!” Tony yelled without turning around. “Can’t believe we wasted our time on this moron…” With that, he fired up his boosters and flew away.

“One day he’ll warm up to me,” I sighed.

“I wouldn’t count on it,” Bucky said. “We haven’t met yet. I’m Bucky.” He held out a hand for me to shake and as I did, I found myself completely lost in his eyes.

Forget the threesome. We have to marry him.

He just said he’s in a relationship.

Minor inconvenience. He must be ours.

While the battle raged in my head, I realized I was still shaking his hand with both of mine. And I was staring at him. Intensely.

“I’m gonna let go of you now,” I said.

“I would be okay with that,” he replied. I dropped his hand and stepped back to examine the unconscious bodies littered around the room.

“Wow, you guys really don’t fuck around do you?”

“The distress call went off like fifty times in a row so we figured it was bad,” Peter explained. “Next time, if you just hit it once it’ll keep going off til we respond.”

“Peter, you’re a precious angel and we don’t deserve you,” I sighed. He looked down and even though I couldn’t see his face, I knew he was blushing.

“I’m glad we saved him,” Peter said. Suddenly, Tony came flying back through the hole in the wall and grabbed Peter by the arm, dragging him out.

“Bye, Mr. Wade!” he yelled as he vanished.

“What a nice kid,” I mused. Both Steve and Bucky chuckled, and the latter nodded his head toward the door. “Come on. We’ll show you the way out. Oh, and I found this.” He held out his metal arm and handed me my mask. I grabbed it and pulled it on, following the two giant super-soldiers from the room. As we walked, I kept stealing glances at the metal prosthesis on ole blue eyes.

“So, do you ever get freaky with that thing?” I asked bluntly. Bucky’s steps faltered and he turned to me wide-eyed.

“What did you just say?”

“The arm,” I said, pointing. “Do you ever do any weird sex stuff with it?” Bucky looked down at his arm and then back up at me.

“Define weird,” he said.

“I’m asking if you’ll choke me with your metal arm.” Before he could answer, Steve’s shield flew down the hall and hit me in the face.

Permanent taglist: @spideyboipete @marvelxholland @gyllenwh0re @hollandraul @sunflower-spideyy @sunmoonandbucky @thefridgeismybestie @fairytaleparker @afictionaladventure16 @missmeganrachel @geeksareunique @captainsteveevans @dasexydevitt13 @my-drowning-in-time @creepylittlemarvelgirl @stabbyhat @heyhihellowhatsup0 @stretchkingblog97 @sebbbystaaan @willowtree42095 @yourmum792 @piper-koko-barnes-rogers @just-the-hiddles​ @lyniboy​

[howglorygoes]

*Backstreet Boys voice*

Oh my god we’re back again

So hype, so lit, adrenaline

[lovemesomesurveys]

If you were a witch, which animal would be your familiar? I don’t what a familiar is or anything about witchcraft.

If there's a design on your shirt, what is it? I literally just described it in the previous survey I did, but it has Ralphie from A Christmas Story on it with a bar of soap in his mouth and says, “Oh, fudge”, which is a quote from the movie.

If it was possible to colonize any planet and you were the leader, which planet would you choose? I really wouldn’t want to be the leader of anything. I’m not fit for that.

Is there a piece of technology that you just can't live without? I mean, I’m pretty attached to my laptop and phone, but of course if for some reason I couldn’t have them I would survive, but it’d be really quite boring. I don’t have much to do.

Would you ever visit a ghost town? That would be interesting.

What's the last thing you ordered from the last fast food place you went to? Loaded potato wedges and 3 egg rolls from Jack in the Box.

Which natural disaster scares you the most? They all sound terrifying. I’ve never experienced one. What're your religious beliefs and why do you follow them? I’m a Christian. I believe in God and that Jesus died for our sins and is our Savior.

What do you think happens after you die? I believe in heaven and hell.

What would you do if you found out your life was only a simulation controlled by someone else? That’s scary. I’ve had thoughts like that, though. Like a Truman Show scenario or that one day I’ll wake up and find out my whole life has been a dream.

What's the scariest thing you've accidentally found on the internet? Ugh, I HATED when jump scare things would go around. Like, people would disguise as a link for something else and then you click it and it’s some ugly, creepy looking girl screaming really loud. OH, and there was that one with the car that was driving down some winding road and you’re watching and waiting to see what the video is about and then bam! something pops up on the scream and scares you. Ughhh. Not cool. I’m such a jumpy person as it is already.

Is there anything bothering you right now? The usual stuff as always.

Thinking of every Halloween costume you've had, which one was the most creative? I never had a really creative one. They were pretty simple.

What song are you currently listening to and what song was the last you listened to? I’m not listening to music.

What's the picture on your calendar for this month? I don’t have a calendar for this year at the moment.

If you were a mythical creature, which would you be? A fairy.

If you were an animal, which would you be? A dog.

Were you ever bullied when you were younger and how did you handle it? I wasn’t, fortunately. It was something my parents worried about when I was in elementary school because I’m in a wheelchair, but honestly I never had any issues with anyone. The only bullying I receive is from myself on a regular basis. 

What do you remember most from being five years old? I have some vague, bits and pieces of memories from kindergarten. 

What do you remember most from being ten years old? I have some memories from 4th grade. My favorite teacher ever was my 4th grade teacher (who later ended up teaching 8th grade and I had him again) and I remember funny stuff he did and like how he read out loud to us books such as Matilda and he would the voices and made it fun for us. He also used to sing, and I remember one time he led all of us in a rendition of “I Want It That Way” by The Backstreet Boys lol. He was so cool. Oh, and he was known for doing “the robot” dance and miming. 

What do you remember most from being fifteen years old? Stuff from high school.

What does the last person you found attractive look like? Alexander Skarsgard is 6′4, has blonde hair, blue eyes, is very fit and in shape, and Swedish. He’s absolutely gorgeous.

Have you ever thrown something away and then wanted it back? Yes. I hold onto a lot of stuff that will sit in a box somewhere forever, but then if I get rid of something I’ll suddenly wish I still had it or have a need for it again.

What's one random city you want to visit? Seattle.

If you owned a store, what would you most likely sell? Books. It would have a cafe, too.

If you had a garden, what sort of plants would you grow? I don’t know, man. I have zero interest in gardening.

What's your favorite phase of the moon? I don’t have one.

What're your plans for today? I’ll attend my church’s livestream and then do the normal things I do everyday. 

What's the song for your life right now? I don’t know.

Do you believe that when you die, you get to see all your loved ones again? Yes.

Who would you be the most excited to see? My grandparents. 

Have you lost or almost lost someone close to you to death this year? Not so far...  I don’t want to think about that.

Did you lose any of your friends this year and if so, how? I don’t have any friends to lose. 

Have you experienced anything new this year and if so, what? Not so far, but we’re only in January. 

Do you enjoy reading National Geographic magazines? I’ve only read a few. 

Would you rather read the book or watch the movie? I love to read and I’m down to check out the movie.

Do you know anyone who's serving in the military right now? No.

Does or did either of your parents serve in the military? Nope.

Has anything in your house ever caught on fire? No.

Have you ever hugged a stranger you thought was someone else? No. Omg, that would be super embarrassing. I’ve waved to someone I thought was someone else, but never went so far as to hug someone I thought was someone else.  As a small child, did you ever feel as if you were different or weird? No, not really.

If you could instantly know any language in the world, what would it be? I’d like to be fluent in Spanish.

This year, how many times have you been to the doctor? So far just once. I go once a month and we’re only in January. 

Do you have a library card and if so, do you use it often? Nope. I haven’t had a library card since I was in high school.

Do you like romcoms and if you do, which one is your favorite? Yeah, I’m a sucker for the romcoms. I have several favorites.

Thinking of your ex and the person you love, are they similar in any way at all? I don’t have a significant other or someone I’m interested in at the moment.

Is there something you currently want and/or need that you can’t have? Yes.

Thinking back to six weeks ago, were you happier then or are you happier now and why? Neither then or now. 

Who's the first male you can think of whose name begins with "T" and what can you tell me about him? Thomas, my maternal grandpa. He sadly passed away 10 years ago. Both of my maternal grandparents passed away. I was very close with both of them and losing them was very hard for me. I miss them both every single day. My grandpa was an amazing man. He was the best husband, father, and grandpa. He was hardworking. He provided well for his family. He was loving. He was so funny. He told the best stories. He was known for being a talker haha, he could go on and on for hours, but everyone always wanted to hear what he had to say. And sometimes he’d go off on tangents, but the stories always came for circle. He was just an incredible man, well loved and missed by many.

Can you say "happy birthday" in another language? Yeah, “Feliz cumpleaños.” 

What subjects do you or did you get the worst grades in? Math was always my worst subject, I barely scraped by with Cs.

Should you be concentrating on something else instead of this survey? Nah. This is my nighttime routine.

Have you ever told someone that you loved them and they rejected you? I didn’t tell them I loved them, but I expressed my feelings for them and was rejected. Twice.

Do you know anyone else that's happened to? Yeah.

Is there anything you want to say to someone, but you can’t or won’t? Not at this time. What're your reasons for not saying it? --

Who's someone in the music industry you think is overrated? Taylor Swift. Don’t for me, Swifties. 

Who's the eleventh contact in your phone and when did you last see or speak to that person? I’m not checking. 

What’s your mother’s middle name? I’m not sharing that.

When was the last time you ate cake and what type of cake was it? I had some red velvet cake a few days ago.

Have you ever been told you were too good or not good enough for someone you loved? I had friends who said I was too good for Joseph. I wasn’t good enough, though.

Why do you think someone would say that to you? They didn’t like how he treated me and thought he was too immature.

If the last person you kissed said you were the only one they wanted, would you believe them? That was 8 years ago, I don’t see him ever saying that now...

Who was your first crush, how do you feel about that person now and do you still talk to them? My first crush was this kid Philip when I was in 3rd grade lol it was just some little crush, I was 9. He didn’t even know me.

Who was the last person that apologized to you and what was it for? I don’t recall.

So how're things going with the person you love? There’s no such person.

Are you "in love" with the last person you kissed? No. I moved on years ago.

Do you have photos to go with all of the contacts in your phone? I haven’t added a photo for any of my contacts.

Who was the last person to comment on one of your photos on Facebook and how did you meet that person? I think it was my Nana. 

How many of your friends are sexually active?

To finish, is there anything you would like to say to someone? Sigh.

Do you think surveys are annoying? They can be sometimes, but I really do enjoy doing them. Clearly.

What career paths are you considering? I don’t know. :/

Do you watch music videos? I haven’t in a long time.

Have you ever clicked on those banner ads that promise a prize for clicking? No. I definitely don’t miss popup ads. 

What kind of computer are you using? Macbook Air.

What kind of computer do you wish you were using? I’m happy with this one.

Have you ever had a weight change so drastic you went to the doctor? I didn’t see a doctor for it specifically, but yeah it was concerning. It’s still a problem I’m struggling with. 

How cold does it have to be before you put on a sweater? In the 60s F, I’d say. 

Do you eat things off the floor? Never.

Who do people say you look like? My mom.

Do you usually get your homework done on time? I’m done with school, but yeah I always got my homework done on time. I may have been a major procrastinator, but my work always got done.

Have you ever framed your old movie ticket stubs? Not framed, but kept.

Do you have a digital camera? Nope.

Have you ever stuck something inappropriate in an electrical outlet? No. I’m afraid to plug in things that meant to go in there as it is.

What do you have anything scheduled for the 16th of this or next month? We’re past the 16th now, but no I didn’t have anything going on that day and I don’t have anything planned for that day next month either.

Can you sleep without any pillows? No. I can’t sleep flat, I have to be propped up.

Is there a color you refuse to wear? I don’t like to wear white.

Has anyone ever pulled a gun on you? No, but I am a victim of random gun violence. 

Are there any chairs in your bedroom? My chair. There’s an ottoman that could also be a chair as well.

How many pairs of shoes do you have? Like 6 or 7.

How much was the last item of clothing you bought? My total was $40 for 2 shirts, but I ordered online so there’s additional fees. 

Where's your father right now? He’s in his room asleep.

Do you skip breakfast often? Yeah.

How many days has it been since your last birthday? My birthday was 6 months ago.

Do you want any more siblings than you have now? Nah, at 31 years old I can’t imagine having another sibling. 

Would you make a good president or prime minister? Nope. I have no desire to be one.

Are you going out of the country soon and if so, where to? No. I don’t have any travel plans and who knows when I will at this point. :(

Do you ever feel like you want to get away from everything? Yeppp.

Do you need a haircut? I could use a trim.

When was the last time you went on a trampoline? Never.

Were you alone today? I’m alone right now in my room cause everyone else is asleep, but they’re here in the house. My dad is off today and will be home all day. My mom and brother have work, but they’ll be home at some point.

Who was the last person you saw today? The day isn’t over yet, it’s only 4:51AM, but I’m willing to bet my brother will be the last person I see cause he and I stay up late.

[valkyriesryde]

Hella Feelings {6/?}

Chapter 6: I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles) ~ The Proclaimers

Pairings: Bucky x OC; Sam x OC

A/N: Chapter six with @stuckonjbbarnes​ bless up my lads

Warnings: language, awkward encounters, a little bit of flirting, alcohol consumption, karaoke (that is a warning in itself), angst, fluff

Word Count: 4266 

Previous Chapter ~ Masterlist

~~~~~~~~

“You! You’re in charge of getting the first round.” MJ points at Peter, when Holly and Sam finally turn up.

She gestures to the girls and they all walk over to the stage, ready to kick off karaoke as usual. The DJ throws on Truth Hurts- Lizzo and Holly, Nessa, and MJ do a Charlie’s Angels power pose. The music starts and MJ starts front and center. The girls are basically yelling the lyrics instead of singing them, the boys are forgotten about as this is their time to shine. As the song fades out, the girls jump off the stage and rush the table, collecting the waiting drinks.

“Would you check my ears?...are they bleeding?It feels like they’re bleeding.” Sam asks, jokingly.

MJ looks at his ear, jokingly before laughing, "Nope just gathering dust in there.”

“ME NEXT!” Peter calls out, running over to the DJ. The girls don’t even have to guess what he’s chosen, as he smiles widely and takes the stage.

“Is...is this?” Sam looks mildly irritated.

“...the Cotton Eye Joe?” Bucky finishes Sam’s question.

“Yasss BABY! Kill it” MJ catcalls. Holly and Nessa whoop and holler along with her.

MJ runs to the front of the stage because the girls have made up a dance for it. Meanwhile Vanessa and Holly try to teach the dance to Sam and Bucky before the song is over. Bucky takes a shot of whatever is closest yelling,"Fuck it" and joins MJ and Nessa by the stage. Sam pouts, refusing to give in and Holly is pretty sure that he just doesn't want to dance with her.

As soon as Peter finishes, MJ is dragging him off stage and into a dark corner of the bar. Nessa quickly pulls Bucky up and he happily follows. Neither are really sure what song the DJ is gonna give them, as neither had picked one.

Nessa’s voice comes out softer than she anticipated as the nerves hit her because holy fuck I’m singing about needing air around the boy that feels like a breath of fresh air. It takes Bucky a second to realise what song is playing but he hears the slow beat and his heart quickens.  

“..if I should die before I wake...it’s cause you took my breath away. Losing you is like living in a world with no air.”

Bucky tries to keep his cool but her voice is so pure and she’s so shy and he just wants her to feel confident like she normally is and so he takes her hand in his and he takes over.

“I’m here alone, didn’t wanna leave. My heart won’t move, it’s incomplete...Is there a way, I could make you understand?” Vanessa can’t help but stare into his eyes, as it feels like he’s singing directly to her...hehehe wtf.

From the audience, Holly and MJ share a look of look at our baby growing up. The whole bar seems to disappear, as Bucky and Vanessa get lost in one another.

“Got me out here in the water SO deep.” She sings, smiling slightly when he takes her free hand.

“Tell me how you’re gonna live without me.” He asks, placing her hand on his chest.

“If you ain’t here I just can’t breathe…”

“There’s no air...no air.” They finish together and finally the rest of the bar comes back into their little world.

Sam is up next and he’s shoving Bucky off the stage and giving the DJ his choice of song. His eyes land on Holly laughing with MJ and Peter, not paying attention to him at all as he starts singing.

“If I could write you a song to make you fall in love.. I would already have you up under my arm… I used up all of my tricks, I hope you like this…” He’s several drinks in and tries to feel the music in his body as the sound beats out of the speakers behind him. He’s never felt so lost when it came to a girl, he wants all of her attention every day so much so he feels like a kid begging for his parents.

She’s still not looking at him, taking a drink from Nessa but then her eyes lock with his and Sam grins from ear to ear as he spins with the beat and points his finger towards her, “you think you’re cooler than me.”

Holly accepts his line as a challenge and races to the stage just before the music ends, speaking with the DJ and smugly, brushing past Sam, drink in hand.

The beat starts and Nessa screams from the audience “YASS QUEEN!”

Holly laughs before catching Sam’s eye. “You’re insecure..don’t know what for? You’re turning heads when you walk through the door.”

She’s smirking at Sam who throws back his head with a laugh but his face is hot and he’s trying to hide it from everyone around him. Holly continues to emphasize certain phrases in the song, intending to see how embarrassed she could make Sam.

“Right now I’m looking at you and I can’t believe you don’t know...you don’t know you’re beautiful...that’s what makes you beautiful.” Sam has his hands on his head because this girl is going to kill him, Steve and Bucky come barreling into his shoulders and suddenly he’s back on stage with no time to catch a hold of Holly.

“Everybody…Rock your body...Everybody...Rock your body right…” Steve sings.

“Backstreet’s back alright!” The other three join in.

“Oh my god we’re back again..” Bucky sings, taking over a main part.

MJ, Ness, and Holly crowd the stage, as if the guys were truly the Backstreet Boys. The girls are laughing so hard that tears are streaming down their faces as the boys attempt to choreograph dance moves on the spot.

“BACKSTREETS BACK ALRIGHT!” The boys yell and the bar goes nuts clapping.

Then MJ takes the stage doing a very colorful rendition of Dirty Little Secret that leaves the entire friend group and Peter scarred for life. Soon after, Bucky climbs the stage and the friends all watch as he consults with the DJ who gives him this look as Bucky takes center stage. The music starts and Vanessa can’t breathe...what the fuck. Bucky takes the mic and sits on the edge of the stage, catching Nessa’s eyes as she’s still at the front of the stage.

“If I was your boyfriend I’d never let you go. I can take you places you ain’t never been before. Baby take a chance I got money in my hands that I'd really like to blow.” Nessa is crying from laughter again but also because he hasn’t taken his eyes off her.

“...so say hello to falsetto in 3,2, swaggie...I’d like to be, everything you want. Hey girl let me talk to you.” Everyone loses it because mans really went for the falsetto. In that moment, Vanessa knows she could never do better than him and they aren’t even dating.

“Girlfriend, girlfriend..you could be my girlfriend.” As the song comes to a close, Bucky hops off the front of the stage, sets the mic behind him and walks with Nessa over to their friends. He gets chosen to go the bar for refills, shortly after.

Sam’s feet are tapping as he brings the mic up to his lips and looks at Holly next to him.

“I got chills, they’re multiplying.” She shoves him away and dances to the music. Sam is done for, he’s officially fallen for Holly in that moment when she sends him a wink and her hand leaves his chest. “And I’m losing control... Cause the power you’re supplying. It’s ELECTRIFYING!”

Sam drops to his knees his hand held out for Holly to take which she gladly does and walks around him. “You better shape. Cause I need a man, and my heart is set on you.”

He stands again, his hand still holding hers as he spins her again and they dance together. “You’re the one that I want,” their bodies get close and Holly thinks he might kiss her “the one indeed,” so she’s walking back from him and her hands leaves his because surely not. He wouldn’t really want to kiss her.

Vanessa watches Bucky stop at the bar. She also sees a girl dressed in the kind of outfit that her mother would definitely not let her out in approach him. He was supposed to be getting the table more drinks. But she’s hugging on him and he’s smiling and laughing at something she’s saying. Ness can’t tear her eyes away as much as she wants to. He comes back with the drinks and she quickly chugs hers.

After a beat, while Sam & Holly are still singing, Bucky turns to her.

“Hey...Steve’s having this party for his birthday. You should go.” She kind of nods and he continues. “Be sure to bring Holly.”

At that, Nessa pushes away from the table and walks away from him because ouch… First that girl at the bar and now Holly. I thought we had a whole moment with No Air...guess not. Steve approaches Nessa at the bar, a few drinks in.

“Hello Ness. Did Bucky tell you about my party?”

“Yeah and I don’t think I’ll be able to make it. But I’m sure the girl further down the bar, making googly eyes at James would love to, Stevie.” She fumes, ordering one of whatever Steve’s been drinking.

“What’d Bucky do?” He groans, ready to give his best friend a piece of his mind.

“Nothing..don’t worry about it. I’m gonna go change my song, not really feeling so peppy.” Nessa sighs and Steve takes her hand, walking up with her.

“I’M GONNA CHANGE MINE TOO VANESSA...us gals, gotta stick together.”

“You’re a whole man Steve.” Vanessa oophs as Steve lets go of her hand and throws his arm over her shoulder.

They head over to the DJ and he agrees to change the song. Vanessa makes her way onto the stage, smiling tightly as she passes Holly and Sam. The music starts and everyone at the table kind of stops and stares...because this is like a really slow song? But Vanessa continues singing and holds up her beer bottle.

“...Drink beer with the guys and chase after girls. I’d kick it with who I wanted and I’d never get confronted for it, cause they’d stick up for me.”  Bucky could swear the entire bar’s mood dropped. Why was she singing like a man had killed her cat?

“But you’re just a boy...you don’t understand. How it feels to love a girl...someday you’ll wish you were a better man.” Vanessa breaks down before she can finish the song and Holly runs up to her, guiding her off the stage.

“You changed your song... what happened?” She pulls Vanessa away from the crowd while she begins to rant and tells her about how she's feeling about Bucky. As they’re talking, Steve watches from across the room.

Vanessa shakes Holly off, not wanting to ruin what was supposed to be a fun night out. So Holly goes to look for her not her mans, knowing it’s best to leave Vanessa be for the time being.

Holly finds Bucky at the booth and slaps his arm as soon as she’s close enough.

"What the fuck did you do?!" She scolds him.

"I don't know! Did I do something?" He gapes looking around the room for Vanessa but he can’t find her anywhere.

"That's the problem you idiot, obviously!" She gives him a stern look and tells him to make it up to Nessa before Sam is calling her over and shoving a shot in her hand. Leaving Bucky in the dust and confused.

Meanwhile, Steve has Nessa sit onstage beside him, having her hold his beer so that he can focus on the task at hand.

“You look so amazing in that sundress...Wonder what you look like when you’re undressed. I can see the future in your eyes...You know I would never tell you lies. I just wanna see you smile...so stick around a while, baby.” Everyone in the bar loses their shit because this is hilarious and Vanessa is like oh shit, especially when he winks at her.

“Cause your boyfriend’s a bitch...he ain’t shit…” Nessa throws her hand over her mouth to keep from laughing out loud. Bucky is staring hard at Steve and glancing at Nessa, sitting beside him, thigh to thigh.

“If I was your man I would answer everytime that you called. I would listen close to every single word when you talked…” Vanessa finally takes in the crowd and makes eye contact with Bucky, who looked both annoyed and hurt. She realizes she may have overreacted a little.

Sam and Holly are at the bar with a row of empty shot glasses and a full one in their hand as they toast to karaoke and throw the liquid back.

“Tequila time!” Holly pours the salt on her arm and holds it out to Sam who licks it slowly, he takes the shot and bites into the lime.

He’s so drunk he’s not thinking but the only logical thing his brain can think to do is fall against Holly and kiss her so he does. It’s drunk and sloppy and there’s a bit of teeth but fuck she tastes so good, like candy but how is that possible with all the fucking alcohol? The two pull away they’re both speechless for a moment just looking at each other catching their breath.

“GROUP KARAOKE TIME!” Peter cries, slapping Sam on the shoulder and ruining their moment.

MJ and Peter wrangle the group up, to close out karaoke for the night. Bucky tries to be near Vanessa and she’s like ‘boy bye’ and wraps her arm around Steve’s waist. She decides in that moment that he’s her new drunk bff.

Peter, MJ, and Sam don’t really have any idea about the tension that is currently radiating off of Bucky and Nessa. Pulling Bucky, who did not want to be there, in-between them, they immediately start slurring and yelling

“WHEN I WAKE UP, WELL I KNOW IM GONNA BE...I’M GONNA BE THE MAN WHO  WAKES UP NEXT TO YOU.” Steve throws his arm over Vanessa’s shoulder and in her drunken and stubborn state she plasters a smile and starts singing along with the rest of the group.

“WHEN I GO OUT, YEA I KNOW I’M GONNA BE...I’M GONNA BE THE MAN WHO GOES ALONG WITH YOU!” Holly smiles up at Sam and he gives her a wink as he belts.

“IF I GET DRUNK, WELL I KNOW I’M GONNA BE...I’M GONNA BE THE MAN WHO GETS DRUNK NEXT TO YOU!” He points at Holly for emphasis.

The group stumbles over the next lyric terribly but pulls it together to shout “ WELL I WOULD WALK 500 MILES AND I WOULD WALK 500 MORE...JUST TO BE THE MAN WHO WALKS A THOUSAND MILES TO FALL DOWN AT YOUR DOOR.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

They go to say goodbyes and Peter and MJ get a cab. The boys mumble a “bye Steve” and Vanessa gapes at them.

“Excuse you? He can’t be left on his own..I’m literally holding drunky up.” She groans and Bucky rolls his eyes.

“Oh sure..he can sleep on our couch.” Sam offers, taking Steve’s arm over his shoulder and shifting most of his weight off Vanessa.

Bucky just stares at Nessa cause he’s so confused as to why she’s giving him the cold shoulder and a little mad that she’s being so clingy to Steve.

“Yo gym rat...you gonna help Sammy out or what?” Holly asks Bucky and he finally springs into action, to help.

In that moment, Sam melts on the inside. They all walk back to the apartment together and Vanessa is uncharacteristically quiet, while Holly attempts to talk to everyone. When the boys finally exit the elevator, Vanessa pulls Holly into a bear hugs and completely breaks down, as the doors shut. Holly just holds her and they have a lil cry on the couch as soon as they stumble through the door. All Vanessa can hear between her own sobbing is "I'm gonna fucking kill him."

Vanessa won’t let go of Holly. She is her rock at the moment. Holly helps her up and sits her on the bed, running around frantically. Vanessa is blank inside and out. Holly BEAUTIFUL Holly, draws a bath and brings out two bottles of wine, yelling “GET IN THE TUB IT’S A SELFCARE MORNING!”

“Enough of that… drink your wine.” Holly shushes Vanessa as new tears form.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The next morning the guys are hung over as fuck and spread out over the three couches in the apartment groaning...all 3 of them. Steve wakes confused and disheveled as he tries to figure out where exactly he is.

“Why am I on your couch...hold that thought,” he sprints to the bathroom to puke.

“I hate everything, my head is pounding...DID YOU DRINK THE LAST GATORADE SAM?? I HATE YOU.” Bucky yells from the kitchen, having shuffled in looking for some sort of aid to help his head.

“STOP YElling, you ass.” Sam is curled up in a chair, holding a pillow over his head. Those poor boys.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Later in the day, after a nap and a mountain of food, Holly texts Sam and demands he come over immediately. So clad in bum pants and a hoodie, the hood pulled up, he's leaning against the door still hungover as fuck when she swings it open and drags him in without a word. They're almost chest to chest when she slams the door shut and they both wince at the sound.

"You called?" Sam's a little lost because he's pretty sure they kissed last night but that could have been his imagination? Although they’re very close and neither are making any move to step away from one another.

Holly can't even think about Sam right now because she needs to get to the bottom of the mess that is Bucky and fix Vanessa’s heart, loyal to her best friend to the bitter end.

"What was Bucky doing with some hoe at the bar last night?"

"That's not a nice thing to call Nessie" he smirks at her but she smacks his chest in retaliation.

"Sam I'm serious apparently he was flirting with some bitch. I thought he liked her like what the hell?!" She throws her hands up and Sam wants to put his hands on her hips and pull her closer because she's so close but not quite enough.

"Bucky has already decided how he's gonna propose to Vanessa. He's too nice for his own good though,” Sam shrugs, “the amount of times we've had strangers join our nights out because he can't say no is fucking nuts."

Holly stops in her spot, she was about a second away from pacing before Sam grabs her wrists and holds her still so she can think.

"Huh good to know. Won't kill him now."

"Yea don't he's an idiot but he's the only reason my apartment gets vacuumed." He lets go of her wrists and shoves his hands in his pocket.

"Okay, that was all thanks" and she gives him a smile and turns to go tell Vanessa but Sam grabs her arm and pulls her back and he's finally holding her hips.

"Was that the only reason you wanted to see me? I'm hurt" he feigns hurt, his grip tightening on her hips briefly. Holly giggles at him, she has to stop doing that around him it’s getting out of hand.

They both start to lean in, kisses on the brain, a pillow manages to hit both of them.

“Not in front of the child...please.” Vanessa groans, “Me...I am the child. No love in this apartment. I need a drink!”

Holly steps away from Sam but not really like it's only a couple inches and his hand is still on her back and she claps her hands together, "Good news everyone! You're a clown, he's a clown, everybody's a clown. This is the fucking circus!"

Sam looks at Holly like she’s grown a second head, until Vanessa points at the sign on the fridge that reads ‘Two Clowns Live Here’. Then Sam makes a move to say something but Holly clamps her hand over his mouth.

"You're going to Steve's party on Friday and you’re gonna show Bucky you're a boss ass bitch!" She orders and Vanessa nods a little, in agreement.

"UH HELL yea I am!" She responds before shutting herself back into her room.

“Is she okay?” Sam looks at Holly concerned but Holly brushes him off.

“...that girl has not been okay a day in her life. Is she very drunk? Yes. Does she remember what happened with Bucky last night? I highly doubt it.”

"Alright then. Do you want to get food?" Holly stops in her tracks as Sam rubs his hand over the back of his neck and his eyes cast down. Her mind is overdrive while she tries to sputter out a response and figure out what any of this means! Is he asking me out...we did kiss last night I think…

“Uh..yeah. Let’s do that.”

Vanessa stumbles back into her room and then straightens after shutting the door, pretending to be as drunk as Holly assumes. She’s like sad and mad...smad: Mad at herself for being sad but sad because she’s really falling for the guy. She’s staring at her phone, which keeps buzzing showing 30 unread texts:Bucky B but she doesn’t want to look because he’s probably asking about Holly. Vanessa guesses she’s just not meant to be happy in life, until a different screen pops up and shit... He’s calling...press the damn red button. But she manages to fuck it up and hit answer in her buzzed state.

“Nessa hey…” She hears his voice but she can’t bring herself to say anything.

“Vanessa?” He asks again and she just stares at the phone, her whole body is tense. After a minute or so, Nessa hears Bucky sigh and sees the call end.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Bucky  throws his phone on the couch and leans his head back, shouting "FUCK!"

Steve, having made it out of the bathroom safely on the third try, is watching Bucky frantically texting and then ending the call. He pats his friends leg as he passes muttering, "You dumb."

"Steve I swear to fucking god I'll throw you out of my house you drunk ass." Steve scoots away a little because he feels like too much shit to deal with that.

"I had her, I was so close. I was going to ask her out and everything would be perfect. Then she got kind of weird yesterday and now she hates me."

“My dude...you dumb...dumb.” Steve repeats and Bucky pauses.

“Stop..wait why?” Steve then tries his best to relay what Vanessa told him, but botches it cause he was real turnt.

“She saw you flirting with ...Holly? And then you told her to...invite a quote “hoe” to my party. She’s..big sad.” For a minute Bucky just stares at Steve but  ever so slowly, he starts to sort it out.

“I told her to bring Holly to the party...for Sam.”

“Didja say for Sam?”

“Not specifically.” He groans.

“You DUMB.”

Bucky scrambles for his phone and calls Vanessa again. She doesn’t pick up this time and he waits for the voicemail message to end, his leg is bouncing and he's going over what he wants to say until he hears the beep.

"Vanessa I need you to listen okay. I'm so sorry about last night I didn't mean it when I said invite Holly that I was just inviting you to invite her or whatever, I don't know okay?! Look I really like you, I wanted you to come to the party, so I could see you. I figured Sam would be too chicken to invite Holly himself so if you brought her ya know...problem solved I guess. Dammit I'm such an idiot..." in the background Steve yells out, face half covered by his arm

"BIG DUMB"

"...just please. Would you go away!” his thought process interrupted by Steve. “I really do want you to be there God I want to see.. maybe I should just go to you. No. Fuck. Okay just please call or text or just talk to me. Okay bye. Its Bucky by the way."

Vanessa just stares at the missed call notification and tosses her phone further away when the voicemail pops up.

“Not today Satan.” Nope. Nope. Nope.

She decides to clean her closet out, hoping to find a fancy dress for Steve’s birthday party along the way. Finding herself in the back of the closet, a mountain of clothes behind her she spots the dress.

“AHA!” She mutters, pulling out a pink Audrey Hepburn inspired 40s-50s gown. Having completely forgotten about her Hepburn phase. Then her phone goes off and she’s absolutely tempted to turn it off until she sees it’s a text from...Steve?

Steve: Hey Vanessa do you want to get some coffee?

And she’s like yanno what? Steve is cute and available and supported me at Karaoke…so FUCK IT.

Vanessa: Yeah, I’ll meet you in 10.

~~~~~~~~

TAGLIST (OPEN): @cant-decide-at-this-moment​ @rinthehufflepuff​ @buckysmischief​ @sebbbystaaan​ @supraveng​ @hopingforbarnes​ @dumbubblegum​

[brown-bi-beautiful]

Supernatural Series Rewrite

Supernatural Rewrite Masterlist

Dean Winchester x Named Reader (eventually)

Series Warning: language violence, angst, fluff, sexual content, Gore, molestation, mention of sexual harassment, usual supernatural violence. (If you’re triggered by any of these then please don’t read)

(A/n- I had to give the reader a name, there’s reason behind it but you can change it if you want. I changed some of the plot and some of the scenes but mostly it’s the same. I do not own the supernatural series but there are some things that are completely my imagination, it has nothing to do with the actual mythology or the series)

Bloody Mary part 1

Season One. Episode Five.

Bloody Mary (Part 2)

Charlie was sobbing when you found her in the park. You guys quickly went up to her and you sat beside her on the park bench. "Hey, what happened?" You asked, rubbing her shoulder softly, knowing she was scared of you. She told you about Jill between sobs.

"And they found her on the bathroom floor. And her-her eyes were gone." She completed her story and looked at you with pleading eyes. "I'm sorry." You whispered, loud enough. "And she said it. I heard her say it. But it couldn't be because of that. I'm insane right?" She said and you realised this might be the only time when telling a woman she's crazy could be a good thing.

"No, you're not insane." replied Dean.

"Oh god, that makes me feel so much words."

"Look...We think something's happening here. Something that can't be explain." Sam said like it was suppose to make her feel better. "And we're gonna stop it. But we could use your help." Dean said and you knew where this was going.

Charlie took the three of you to Jill's house. "There. That's her room." She said pointing at the window on the first floor. Then she went to the front of her house so she could let you in her room.

"Do all the teenagers have to live on the first floor." You groaned but then realised you were just one of them. Sam was the first one to climb up, and then he helped you and then Dean. Charlie soon opened the window letting the three of you in.

"What did you tell Jill's mom?" You asked.

"Just that I needed some time alone with Jill's pictures and stuff. I hate lying to her." She replied.

"Trust us, this is for greater good. Hit the lights." Dean said and she turned off the lights and something caught your eyes on the wall behind Jill's bed. "Is that Nick Carter?" You stared at the life size poster of the member of back street boys. "Sorry." You apologized when you saw three pairs of eyes glaring at you. You never let your inner fangirl out. NEVER. But you always wanted a life size poster of backstreet boys or at least one of them.

"What are you looking for?" She asked after shaking her head and trying to ignore the comment you just made. "We'll let you know as soon as we find it." Dean replied as Sam took out the video camera. "Hey, night vision." Sam said and turned the camera to you and you pressed a button to turn on the night vision. "Thanks. Perfect." He commented and turned it to his older brother. "Do I look like Paris Hilton?" He asked, posing for the camera.

"No, but you do look like Butthead." You said making Sam and Charlie chuckle and Dean glare at you. Sam opened Jill's closet and started filming on the mirror and around it.

"So I don't get it. I mean first victim didn't summon Mary and the second victim did. How's she choosing them?" You asked crossing your arms across your chest and letting the Winchester do all the work. "Beats me." Said Sam. "I wanna know why Jill said it in the first place." Dean said stopping in the middle of the room with the EMF in his hand. "It was just a joke." Charlie answered, a little shamefully.

"Yeah well, somebody's gonna say it again. It's just a matter if time." You pointed out the obvious.

"Hey." Sam said and turned to face him, he was looking at something under the mirror through the video camera. "There's a blacklight in the trunk right?" Sam asked.

"I'll get it." You grabbed Dean's keys and jumped out of the window.

When you got back inside Sam had already pulled out the mirror and laid it on the bed. He peeled off the brown paper and you tossed him the black light. He shined it on the back of the mirror revealing a handprint with a name.

"Gary Bryman?" Charlie read it out loud. "You know who that is?" Sam asked her and she said "No."

You and Sam went to the library to do some research on Gary Bryman, Dean and Charlie waited for you in the park, according to him if he steps into one more library, his head would explode. A big wide grin came across your face when you finally found what you were looking for. "I told you I am good at this." You said turning toward Sam and flipping your hair dramatically. "Yes you are." Sam agreed with a slight chuckle. "Now tell me I'm a genius."

"You're a genius."

When you got back to the park Dean and Charlie were sitting on a bench and Sam and you started explaining what you guys found. "So, with the help of my incredible skills we found out that Gary Bryman was a 8 years old boy killed in a hit and run 2 years ago." You explained and Sam continued the rest. "The car was described as a black Toyota Camry, but no one ever got the plates or saw the driver."

"Oh my god." Charlie gasped and you asked her what happened.

"Jill drove that car." She answered looking up at me and then at Dean. The 3 of you looked at each other with knowing looks on your faces. "We need to get back to your friend Donna's house.”

The 3 of you went to the shoemaker house with Charlie. You had no idea how she managed to get you guys in. You rush to the bathroom and Sam pulled off the mirror in front of which Steven shoemaker died. Sam shone the blacklight on the mirror and read the name out loud. "Linda shoemaker."

"Why are you asking me all this?" Donna asked when you questioned her about the named woman and about her death. "Look, we're sorry, but it's important." Sam, being the ever so polite one, said. "Yeah. Linda's my mom, ok? And she overdosed on sleeping pills. It was an accident, and that's it... I think you should leave." She said when you didn't look convinced. She knew you guys were kinda accusing her dad for her mom's death.

"Donna just listen-"

"Get out of my house." She yelled before you could finish your sentence and walked away. "Rude." You mumbled and rolled your eyes.

"Oh my god. Do you really think her dad could've killed her mom?" She asked with a gasp. "Maybe." Sam said and you rolled your eyes. "Fuck maybe. He definitely did." You said without thinking twice. "Sorry." You apologised looking at the 3 pairs of eyes glaring at you again. "I think I should stick around." Charlie and you nodded.

"Alright, well, just whatever you do, don't-"

"Believe me, I won't say it."

The 3 of you decided to do some more research after. You and Dean were sitting in front of the computer searching about any Mary who died in front of a mirror anywhere in this country. "Wait, wait, wait, you're searching nation-wide search?" Sam asked.

"Yep, the NCIC, the FBI database. At this point any Mary in this country who died in front of a mirror is good enough." You said, successfully hacking into another database.

"But if she's haunting the town, she should have died in the town."

"I'm telling you there's nothing local. we've checked. So unless you've got a better idea." Dean said staring at the screen as you scrolled through case files. "The way she's choosing her victims, it seems like there's a pattern." Sam said. "I know I was thinking the same thing." Dean said and you continued looking through the database. "With Mr. Shoemaker and Jill's hit and run--"

"Both had secrets where people died." You completed his sentence. "Right. There's a lot of folklores about mirrors that they reveal all your lies, your secret. That they're a true reflection of your soul, which is why it's bad luck to break 'em."

"Yeah, yeah, so maybe if you've got a secret like a really nasty one where someone died then Mary sees it and punishes you for it." Hearing Dean say it, it all came crashing down to you. You couldn't make eye contact with either of the boys, so you stare at the computer screen harder, you didn't even hear who said what next. The mouse was not in your hand any more. "Alex, ALEX." A voice broke you out from your almost panic attack. "What?" You asked looking between the boys.

"Are you ok? What happened? You're sweating like crazy." Sam said and your hand subconsciously went to your face. "Oh, nothing. I just, I'm gonna go get some fresh air." You didn't wait for an answer, just grabbed your jacket and walked out of the motel room. The boys gave each other confused looked.

You walked out to the parking lot, looking up at the starry sky. Maybe this case was it for you. Maybe it was Universe showing you signs that it was your time to get punished for the past, but you did what you did to protect yourself, there's nothing wrong with protecting yourself. And the person who really deserved a punishment, got it.

"Do I deserve to die like this?" You ask looking at the sky, particularly to no one.

"And who are you exactly talking to?" A voice came and you turn around to see a blue eyed boy with blond hair, he looked about your age.

"To my friend, his name is 'none of your damn business.' " you replied wittily and turning back to look at the sky. You felt him walking up beside you. "Brick." He said introducing himself. "Don't care." You said in a monotone.

"Liam was right." He said to himself and you looked at him with and you looked at him with an raised eyebrow. "My friend Liam, he says, the prettier the girl the crazier she is." His words made you laugh this time.

"That's bullshit."

"No seriously. You're lucky you're pretty otherwise you look really crazy standing here talking to the sky."

"You have no idea just how crazy I am."

"I do. Just told you. 'the prettier the girl the crazier she is.' and I don't know why but crazy is kinda my type." For a second he made you blush and you looked away. "But seriously what are you doing here?" He asked looking around at the empty parting lot.

"Just taking some fresh air. Trust me these rooms can be pretty suffocating sometimes. What are you doing here?" You asked with an raised eyebrow.

"OH, I work here. I was just taking out the trash."

"You work here?" You raised an eyebrow looking down his outfit. A pair of jeans and a blue button up which wasn't even buttoned up and a white T-shirt inside.

"My dad kinda owns this place so I get to skip the uniform sometimes." You nodded and tuck a strand of hair behind your ear that fell on your face. "weird how you know about my job and I don't even know your name."

"It's.."

"Alex, think we found one.......In Indiana." Dean trailed off looking at the blond boy beside you as he walked up to the two of you. Dean was clearly glaring at the guy and he was glaring back at Dean.

"Dean, this is Brick, he works here and Brick this is Dean. My--"

"Boyfriend. I'm her boyfriend." Dean said cutting you off and the glare on Bricks face turned into hurt. Before you could open your mouth and defend yourself he said. "Oh, I'm sorry, Man. I didn't know she was taken. I'll get going then." He smiled at you and walked away.

"What was that?" You asked glaring at the Winchester standing in front of you. He didn't answer your question instead turned around and started walking. "No. Don't you dare ignore me Winchester. Why'd you tell him you're my boyfriend."

He suddenly stopped walking and turned around making you bump in his chest. "Because..... Because I wanted to."

"Oh because... Because you wanted to? You know what then? I'll go in there and strip in front of him because I want to."

"No, you won't." He said with a frown.

"Oh try me." You said turning around threatening to go back. In a quick movement he grabbed your hand pulled you back to him. "You will do no such thing, you get it. We are leaving for Indiana..... Now." with that he dragged you inside the motel.

The two hours ride to fourt Wayne was pretty awkward for you and Dean, although Sam had no idea why you guys were suddenly not talking to each other. Again. Sam made some phone calls which you didn't really pay attention to. All you knew was that you guys were meeting a detective at the station about Mary Worthington and apparently you were reporters.

Part 3

*******

A/N:- THIS ONE IS A LITTLE SHORT. I'M REALLY SORRY, GUYS. BUT IT MEANS THE LAST PART WILL BE UPDATED SOON. AND ALSO I NEED TO KNOW WHAT YOU GUYS THINK ABOUT IT SO FAR, I NEED TO KNOW YOUR OPINION TO KNOW IF I SHOULD KEEP WRITING OR NOT. AND ALSO, JUST BECAUSE I USED CAPS DOESN'T MEAN I'M YELLING AT YOU, I'M JUST TRYING TO GET YOUR ATTENTION. BUH-BYE.......LOVE YOUUUUUU......

Taglist:-

@rach5ive @paintballkid711 @chubby-dumplin @hobby27 @colie87 @iilooveereadiingfiics @spnchick1996 @greenarrowhead @for-a-brothers-love @deanw-is-pretty @puppies-make-me-extra-happy @eternaleviee

[camillemontespan]

delicious [drake walker x camille]

As part of my ‘Have Your Cake & Eat It’ giveaway for reaching 400 followers, here is the first fic I’ve written, as prompted by @samihatuli who asked for ‘kinky Cake smut’ (Drake x Camille = Cake).

Well, I have written this prompt both figuratively and literally.  I genuinely think my smut writing needs more work but I like a writing challenge!

The giveaway is for everyone - if you would like me to write a fic, please send me an ask and I will do it. There are no winners being drawn because I’m planning to write every fic I am asked to do! :)

Warnings:  NSFW.  

@moonlightgem7 @fromthedeskofpaisleybleakmore @jovialyouthmusic @ibldw-main @burnsoslow @sirbeepsalot @dcbbw @mskaneko @pedudley @msjr0119 @gardeningourmet @kingliam2019 @tacohead13 @rainbowsinthestorm @katedrakeohd @emichelle @of-course-i-went-to-hartfeld @loveellamae

*********************************************************************************

Drake was relieved to drive up to the manor after a long, mindnumbing day of meetings. Even though he didn’t really care, today was not the day he would have chosen to have these meetings. It had been a challenge. For one thing,  Leo had kept throwing spit balls at Liam until his younger brother lost patience. 

Royalty, ladies and gentlemen.

Today was Drake’s birthday. He was now 32 years old. 

Drake didn’t like birthdays. He found them an ordeal and he hated being the centre of attention. He didn’t even care for presents, though Liam would always buy him a bottle of whiskey. Drake just wanted the day to be over with. 

That said, he had only had one birthday that was truly memorable. It was when he had turned 28 and Camille had coyly presented him with a beautifully wrapped, squashy present. She had watched with a smile tugging at her lips and he could tell she was desperate to tell him what it was. When Drake opened the present, he found a babygro in his hands. A yellow babygro with an embroidered marshmallow on the pocket. 

‘What’s this?’ he had asked, his voice croaking, his face showing his disbelief. 

‘You’re gonna be a daddy, Drake,’ Camille whispered, tears glimmering in her brown eyes. ‘Happy birthday.’ 

Now, their daughter Lily was four years old. Drake hadn’t received a present as thoughtful and beautiful as the babygro, though Camille always tried. Whiskey tastings, camping trips, concert tickets… Camille had tried to buy him amazing presents and although Drake appreciated it, he just didn’t want a fuss made over his birthday. To him, it was just a day, nothing more. 

He entered the manor, calling out, ‘I’m home!’

Usually, Lily would come running to greet him but he was greeted with nothing. No energetic, bouncy four year old screaming his name. No Camille coming forward to give him a kiss. No corgis racing around his feet demanding attention. 

Drake shrugged and padded through to the kitchen. As he got closer, he could hear music coming from the other side of the door. He pushed the door open to find Camille standing at the kitchen island singing along to 90s pop music, with a bowl in front of her as she stirred the chocolate cake mixture inside it. A dot of flour covered the tip of her nose. 

As she sang along to Backstreet Boys, she sipped from a glass of white wine, clearly having the time of her life. She looked up to see him watching her by the door and her eyes lit up.

‘Hey baby!’ she called out, giving him a happy grin. 

Drake smiled and leaned over the island to kiss her, before gently wiping the flour from her nose. ‘Hey beautiful,’ he said. ‘Where’s Lily?’

‘She’s at Milo’s,’ Camille told him. ‘Sleepover.’

‘Great..’

Camille fixed Drake with a steady stare. ‘Drake, they’re four. Just because he is a boy doesn’t mean he’s going to suddenly jump on her.’ 

Drake shuddered. ‘Please don’t talk about that sort of thing..’

Camille stuck her tongue out at him and turned to move to the cupboard behind her. Drake watched her briefly then put down his bag before his attention fully went back to Camille as he realised what he was looking at.

Camille was wearing an apron but nothing underneath it. 

All he could see was her bare back and perky ass peeking out from the polka dot apron. 

‘Camille..’ he said, his voice low. ‘Are you naked under your apron?’

Camille turned and leaned against the counter, crossing her arms. ‘Maybe..’

Drake moved towards her, his eyes still fixed on her. ‘W..Why?’

Camille smiled like she had a delicious secret. ‘Happy birthday, Drake,’ she whispered. ‘I’m baking you a cake.’

‘Naked?’ Drake asked, raising an eyebrow. ‘Just let me clarify this.. You’re baking me a cake… naked.’

‘Yes.’

‘And Lily’s at a sleepover, you say?’

‘All night, last I checked.’

‘So we’re alone?’

‘Yes.’

Drake was over to her in an instant. He caught at her and pulled her against him, their chests flush against each other. Their mouths crashed together. Drake could taste wine and chocolate on her tongue.

‘You taste delicious..’ he groaned. 

Camille smirked and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him in closer. Drake’s fingers raked through her hair, pulling it out of the messy bun so it cascaded down her shoulders. His hands skimmed down her hips to cup her ass. 

‘I like this look..’ he whispered. 

‘I’ll do it more often,’ she murmured, tugging at his lower lip with her teeth. Drake moaned her name and brought his hands lower so he could lift her onto the kitchen counter.  He quickly pushed away the bowl that had cake mix in it and his lips found hers again, desperate for her. Camille’s fingers pulled at his shirt, unbuttoning it quickly so she could touch his skin. Drake let out a hiss as he felt her warm fingers that were covered with flour decorating his chest. 

Drake’s hands rushed up the inside of her thighs towards the heat between her legs. 

‘Do you wanna move somewhere less.. cakey?’ Camille whispered, interrupting his journey. 

Drake smirked the smirk she loved so much. ‘You afraid to get more flour on yourself, Camille?’ he asked. 

Camille’s eyes darkened. Her legs pulled him in closer to her so they were pressed right up against each other.  She raised her chin so her lips brushed his ear, tantalisingly close.

‘Fuck me, Drake,’ she breathed, making the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. 

Drake closed his eyes, swallowing hard. ‘I fucking love birthdays,’ he growled.

He rapidly unbuckled his belt and jeans, discarding them to the floor. Camille pulled his shirt off him now, the shirt that had been unbuttoned, so he was now completely naked. Camille’s eyes darted over his body, taking in his broad shoulders and muscular arms, before looking down at his hard cock. 

She reached out for him but Drake caught her by the wrists, keeping her in place. ‘I’ve got an idea,’ he said. Raising an eyebrow, Camille watched him silently as Drake untied her apron, exposing her naked form. She smiled as Drake leaned down to press a soft kiss on her shoulder, his lips trailing like lit dynamite down to her collarbone. As he kissed her sensually, his hands took hold of the apron tie. 

Camille let out a breath as she felt him wrap the apron tie around her wrists, binding them together. She tested them by trying to move her hands but to no avail; the gleeful smile on her face told him everything he needed to know. Drake smirked and knelt down so he was now eye level with the space between her legs. 

She cried out when she felt his tongue slip between her folds, lapping deep.  Her legs shook as she focused on what he was doing to her, feeling her stomach flip as he twisted and tasted. Her feet banged against the cupboards beneath her as her body began to jerk at the new sensation. 

‘I could eat you all fucking day,’ he growled against her. Camille closed her eyes and let her head fall back as she concentrated on his tongue.  She could feel the fire building inside her and he hadn’t even properly begun yet. 

He lapped at her. His tongue teased her, pulling her into a swirling vortex, but deliberately not pulling her far enough so she would lose control. 

Drake liked to take his time. He liked to savour her and enjoy every single taste. But Camille was impatient and wanted him now. She ached to touch him but the tie around her wrists prevented her from doing so and god, she needed him. 

‘Fuck me,’ she groaned. ‘Please.’

‘But you taste so good-’

‘I can guarantee I feel fucking good,’ she interrupted, ‘so please, fuck me. Fuck me now.’

Drake chuckled and stood up. Their eyes met and Drake could see the determination in her eyes. 

‘You want this?’ he asked, reaching down to wrap his hand around his erection. Camille watched his hand pumping slowly, biting her lip.  Noting her reaction, Drake began to work himself harder. His breath came out in heavy pants as his hand moved more rapidly. He could see a bead of pre-cum forming at the head; his finger scooped the liquid up and he held out his finger for Camille. 

She leaned close to wrap her lips around his finger. Her tongue licked the liquid and swallowed. Drake groaned her name and continued to jerk himself off. 

‘You’re such a fucking tease, Walker,’ Camille croaked.

‘You like watching me though.’

Camille couldn’t deny it. But.. 

‘I want you inside me,’ she told him. ‘Put me out of my misery. Look, I was baking you a cake! I was celebrating your birthday! I was naked under my apron! I was being the best wife ever and you’re taunting me with your huge - FUCK!’

Drake plunged into her. 

Camille bit hard into his shoulder as she felt the impact of him fill her. Drake pulled her closer so he could fill her completely. His hips rocked rapidly against hers as he drove into her, while his hands covered her bound wrists. 

‘You feel fucking good, Camille,’ he groaned in her ear, his breath hitching.

 ‘You’re so big, Drake,’ she panted. ‘Oh god-’

Drake buried his face in her neck. He inhaled her Chanel perfume, savouring everything he could of his wife. As he kissed her neck, he could feel Camille’s hands moving and without pausing his kisses, he reached out to wrap his hand around hers, preventing her from releasing herself. 

‘Not yet baby,’ he murmured. 

‘I want to touch you so badly..’ she whispered. 

Drake moved back to look her in the face. ‘Do you like being tied up?’ 

‘I do.’

‘But you really want to touch me?’

‘Very much. All over.’

Drake laughed and gave her a lazy smile. ‘Fine. Because I’m feeling generous.’

He untied her wrists so she was now free.  He moved to kiss her but stopped he felt her hands wrap around his wrists. Leaning back to study her face, their eyes locked and he felt the apron tie tighten around his wrists, binding him. 

‘Well, well..’ he whispered. 

Camille smirked. ‘Two can play at that game, Mr Walker.’

Drake grinned and leaned down to kissed her deeply, unable to touch his wife but enjoying every other sensation. Camille jumped down from the counter and turned to push him onto the space where she had been sitting. Now she was the one in control. 

She got up on the counter to straddle him and slowly eased herself down onto his cock, feeling him slide easily inside her again. Drake groaned and closed his eyes as he focused on how she felt around him. He focused on this moment. 

He could feel the apron tie digging into his skin. 

He could hear Camille calling out his name. 

He could smell the delicious scent of chocolate. 

[voidsentprinces]

My brain on Post-HW

Talk to Determined Son. Go see your Husband-in-Uniform. Talk to KNIGHT WIFE! Killing things! Killing Things KILLING THINGS IN KNIGHT! KNIGHT WIFE! Talk to Tataru now go back and talk to KNIGHT WIFE!  Talk to Knight Wife again. Teleport to Anyx Trine. Talk to Knight Wife. FLY THROUGH A HOLE IN THE CEILING! Talk to Dragon. Talk to Knight Wife. Teleport to Ishgard. Talk to Determined Son. Teleport to Goblinshire. Talk to Goth Wife. Krile appears. SPILL THE TEA! TELL US ABOUT THE TIME ALPHINAUD GOT FUCKING WASTED! Talk to Krile. She whispers about the time Alphinaud once got deep in with the Tanuki Mafia. Fly across the world. Hit up Maggie Smith in her cave. Well, time to ask some people things. Teleport to Tailfeather. Show them a picture of Alphinaud’s art. Talk to Determined Son, Talk to Krile. She lets you knwo about the time Alphinaud posed as her for a week while she was out on a bender. She still has blackmai--photos.

Fly to Bugs. Talk to Bugs. Fly to Bug Hive. PUNCH BUGS! Meet Ardbert. Stare deep into those baby blues as he and the N*Sync try to murder you. THANCRED APPEARS! The boys are fighting over your hand in marriage. But you can already tell Ardbert is GONNA BE BAE! Ardbert pieces out, he needs to go win 9 out of 8 Kanto Badges like a boss. Talk to Thancred. CRAAAWWWWLLLLIIIINNNG IIIIINNN MYYYYY SKKKIIIIIINNNN! Teleport to Ishgard. Talk to Edgecred. Talk to Goth Wife. Talk to Embarassed Son. Ishgard was attack. Heck! Aymeric was stabbed FUCK! Visit your Knight Wife! Ask questions around. Talk to some Priests. NOW PRISONER 34601! YOUR TIMES IS UP AND YOUR PAROLE HAS BEGUN! YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS! Ask around some more. Priests have taken a hostage. BREAK DOWN THE MEGACHURCH DOOR! Punch Priests, Punch Monks, Punch More Priests, Punch Knights, RUN UP SOME STAIRS! Your Husband will fight for your honor. You’ve only known Aymeric for 1 2/3 expansions, but if anything else happens to him you’ll kill everyone in Ishgard and then yourself. PUNCH SOME KNIGHTS! Free some people. PUNCH SOME MORE PRIESTS! Run to your Husband-in-Uniform’s Side. PUNCH SOME KNIGHTS! Free a person. Priest YEETS hostage. But a dragon got him. Everythings okay now. You’re getting married to Aymeric in June.

Alright so you found Edgecred and Goth Wife. Go bug Maggie Smith about Minfilia. Unlock Anti-Tower. PUNCH A FROG! PUNCH DAVID BOWIE! WHAT THE FUCK ARE THOSE DOLLS! PUNCHED THEM! OH NO THEY TURNED INTO ONE NAKED DOLL! ALPHINAUD SHIELD YOUR EYES! PUNCH THE DOLL! GET THE FUUUUUUUUUCK OUTTA THERE! Oh hey Minfilia. SHE IS THE VOICE OF GOD NOW! Thancreds here. Thancred left. Alphinaud’s depressed. Talk to Depressed Son. Teleport to Ishgard. Talk to Husband-in-Uniform. Talk to Knight Wife. Teleport to Falcon’s Nest. Talk to Knight Wife. Talk to Shild-in-Law. Fly out and kill some wolves. Fly out and kill some more wolves. Report to Shild-in-Law. Enter eating hall. Drink some ale. Last time you had something to drink was at the Banquet. Good---FUCK THIS DRINK IS POISONED! SHIT GOES DOWN! WHO LET THE SHILD HAVE BOW!?! A woman is shot. She dead...but not really. Talk to people. Talk to more people. Hunt down Shild-in-Law. He punched his Ward! IMMA KILL EM! Thancred punched him for you! Take off that stupid bandana Thancred. Teleport to Ishgard.

Go visit your Husband-in-Uniform with Puncred. Talk to Puncred. Husband-in-Uniform has seduced Puncred. Go to Markets. Talk to Shild. Nearly throw hands with a 16-year old. Teleport outside of the Gates of Judgement. Talk to Knight Wife. Talk to Shild. Wear your dead Fiance’s armor. PUNCH SERPENTS! PUNCH MAELSTROM! PUNCH IMMORTAL FLAMES! PUNCH PIPIN SAVE KNIGHT WIFE! PUNCH RAUBAHN! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Alright battles over. Remove Fiance’s Armor ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Talk to Puncred.

Talk to Embarrassed Son. Teleport to Falcon’s Nest. Talk to Embarassed Son. Talk to Responsibility-in-Law. Chill out with Determined Son. Dragon Appears. So done Literal Child. LITERAL CHILD STABBED THE DRAGON! He’s possessed by Nidhogg! AYMERIC SHOTS AT LITERAL CHILD! They will fight shirtless in two days to win your hand in marriage. Talk to Determined Son. Teleport to Camp Dragonshead. Talk to Guard. Talk to Son. Teleport to Ishgard. Go to Last Vigil. Talk to Guard. Talk to Dad Fortempts. Leave. Talk to Guard. Go in Mansion.  Leave. Go to the Forgotten Knight. Talk to Krile. Slide her a fifty for pictures of Alphinaud’s Frog Phase. Talk to Frog Son. Talk to Husband-in-Uniform. Teleport to Anyx Trine. Talk to Dragon with Husband-in-Uniform. Teleport to Moghome. Talk to Husband-in-Uniform. Teleport to Zenith. Fly up tower. Blow horn. HECKIN GOOD BOY APPEARS! He challenges you to a dance off. Fly down and talk to the wyvern. Unlock Sohr Khai! Run Sohr Khai! FUCK THAT PEGASUS! Leave Sohr Khai. Talk to Husband-in-Uniform. RIDE FORTH TO ISHGARD! HECKIN GOOD BOY FIGHTS AYMERIC THERES A FUCKING WEIRD LOOKING CAT OUT HERE! OH NO! THE CAT RIPPED OFF GOODEST BOYS WIN! Unlock Final Steps of Faith. PUNCH THE CAT! PLAYSTATION2STARTUPNOISE! PUNCH LITERAL CHILD! PUNCH NACHO CHEESE FLAVORED CAT! Oh shit remove eyes from Literal Child’s Armor. THE GHOST OF ICE WIFE AND FIANCE APPEARS! You make a pot together ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Throw the eyes into the abyss. They gone now. Literal Child is taken to the hospital. For the future sick burns you’re going lay on him for the amount of fucks he upped.

Alright go talk to Dad Fortempts. Alright now go talk to a manservant. Go on a date with Husband-in-Uniform. Get cockblocked by Alphinaud. He’s saying something about his sister. Go visit the sister instead of getting to pegg the Knight Commander. Find out Sister is actually angry lass. She is now Sword Daughter! Talked to Determined Son! Teleport to Camp Dragonshead. Ride through the snow. Talk to Determined Son. Talk to Guard. Unlock Xelphatol. PUNCH BIRDS! Leave Xelphatol. Ardbert and the Backstreet Boys appear. So does a mysterious sexy elf who hides his face. Goddamn tease. Talk to Book Son. Teleport to Ishgard. Talk to Husband-in-Uniform. Talk to Book Son. Pray thee return to the Waking Sands. Walk with Sword Daughter. She tries to fight Strip Tease.

Teleport to Camp Overlook. Talk to Roe. Ride out find Kobold. Find Kobold. Find Kobold. Kobold is now friends with Sword Daughter. Ride through sulfur lake steal crystals. Talk to Roe. Talk to Book Son. Ride through the Mine of Moira. Talk to Book Son. Run Titan (Hard). WAAAAAKKKEEE UPPPPP!!!!! Leave Titan (Hard) traumatized. Talk to Kobold. Silent. Teleport to Camp Overlook. Talk to Book Son. Talk to Roe. Talk to Book Son. Talk to Sword Daughter. Teleport to Lil Ala Mhigo. Talk to Bear Daddy. Talk to Book Son. Ride out into the desert. Look upon a protest. Meet up with Papalymo and Exiled Monk. Talk to Papalymo. Teleport to Little Ala Mhigo. Talk to Book Son. Talk to dude. Dress as a hobo. Stand by a tree. Meet with a Griffon. He knows you. Time to delete your profile off Dating Apps. Talk to Book Son. Remove Cloths ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Talk to Papalymo. Run down a hill. Stand in a spot. Ardbert is here. PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE! PUNCH HIM THE FACE! WHOA SHIT HES INTO KINKY SHIT! The safe word is: Pray thee return to the Waking Sands. The sexy elf from before appears. Its Urianger! ...You will bed him. PUNCH ARDBERT! PUNCH THE ROE! PUNCH THE MAGE! Give Sword Daughter your energy! PUNCH THE ROE! PUNCH THE MAGE! PUNCH ARDBERT! PUNCH ARDBERT! Give Sword Daughter Your Energy. FUCK OFF ARDBERT! Punch Roe, Punch Ranger, Punch Priest, Punch Mage, Punch Ardbert. Give Sword Daughter Your Energy. THERE ARE NO WEAK SPELLS IN MY GRANDFATHER’S DECK ARDBERT ONLY THE UNSTOPPABLE EXXXXXOOODDDIIIIAAA! Well Ardbert’s gone. Teleport to Limsa. Talk to Catte. Teleport to Mor Dhona. Break down door. The Crystal Braves reunited at last. Alphinaud said we’re breaking up. Oh well...time to make Brave World Tour! You’re Sporty Brave. Talk to Roe. Talk to People. Talk to Book Son.

Tataru wants to speak to you privately Go Diamond Forge. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) She now has your measurements. Pray thee return to the Rising Stones. Teleport to Ishgard. Talk to Knight Wife. Go to Gates of Judgment. Talk to Knight Wife and Husband-in-Uniform. Teleport to Gridania. Bug Seedseer. Talk to Book Son. Pray thee return to Rising Stones. Talk to Book Son. Talk to Book Son. Teleport to Hawthorne Hut. Talk to Serpent at bottom of the tower. Ride down a hill talk to serpent. Talk to Book Son. Talk to Serpent. Unlock Baelsar’s Wall. FUCK THAT MACHINE! FUCK THAT MACHINE! SLOPPPEEHOWDOLOKDISSLOPPEEESLOPEEEFERALAMHIGO! FUCK ILBERD! OH NO ILBERD FUCKS BACK! THERES A DRAGON! PAPALYMO NOOOO! We’re back outside. Monk sits on a Throne of Lyse. Pray thee Return to the Rising Stones. Talk to Book Son.

Talk to Book Son. Teleport to Gridania. Bug the Seedseer. Meeting interrupted by Emperor Nero. He’s wearing your hobo clothes. Teleport to Airship Landing. Ride with Cid to Mor Dhona. Talk to Cid. Pray thee return to Risings Stones. Talk to Book Son. Talk to Nero. He shit talked your home. PUNCH HIM! Leave. Talk to Cid. Talk to Lizard Wife. Fly to a place. PUNCH GARLEANS! PUNCH ROELEAN! GET A METAL DOG! BLOW SHIT UP! BLOW SHIT UP! BLOW SHIT UP! Roelean is abandoned by his men...PUNCH HIM WHILE HE’S DOWN! Alright now enter lair. Activate Omega. Shit blows up. Leave Omega. Fly back to Gridania. Bug Seedseer. Teleport to Hut. Ride out to the forest. Talk to Throne of Lyse.  Talk to Goth Wife. Talk to Sword Daughter.

ZENOS INTENSIFIES! PRAY THEE RETURN TO THE RISING STONES! TALK TO BOOK SON! TELEPORT TO HUT! RIDE OUT! Talk to Throne of Lyse. Climb to the Top. Talk to Serpent. WE CANT STOP HERE THIS IS ALA MHIGO COUNTRY!

[moderninsight]

A Love Like That (The curious case of Him & Her, Reprise)

Days become weeks and weeks become months and soon it’s half past and then some. It hasn’t been 365, not yet - not quite. It may very well be for it’s been 278 since her all consuming heartbreak. 

She remembers when her heart was set on fire. Too much had happened, too much was at stake and too much was lov(ed) and too much was lost. An epic heartbreak warfare mess and the wildfire had run ‘round in its own madness. But the flames were soon flooded by the monsoon in her heart and she was left in the ashes of the love she had so freely gave. When love leaves you, time stops and the world as you know it reverberates to its core creating tremors and aftershocks galore. A burn so slow, so treacherous that it left her gasping for air on days without end. She remembers the exact moment her heart was wrenched open, bleeding for every minute of every hour of every God damn day. Mind-filled, heart-heavy and tear-stained, barely breathing through corrupted lungs. And all the king’s horses and all the king’s men could not put her back together again. For this kind of heartbreak had no pain relief, not when all she knew betrayed her for lack of true effort and she was traded in for a good (e a s y) time over a good thing. Too much had happened, too much was at stake and too much was lov(ed) and too much was lost and r e p l a c e d - just like that. And in due time, her rose coloured glasses shattered and she saw him for what he really was - a lost little boy masquerading as a man. 

They say “time heals all wounds” and so it goes, and so it shows. But she now knows that time just moves you along with no choice and no say and she sank too far and too long that she f i n a l l y decides to swim and not sink. She puts on a brave face (God, how exhausting) and all on her own she picks up the pieces and soldiers on. 

So she catches flights, still in her feelings and puts in a woman’s work. She gets lost in Japan with her wounded heart, dragging it along the kaleidoscope of Tokyo lights and eating away the night sublime. She bullets over to Kyoto and tries to take in the serene but the dull ache in her chest is all she feels. She takes her heart next through Korea to the Philippines where she reunites with her family after 10 long years. She laughs, she cries and lives a little more. She delights in the palm trees, sea breeze and the loudness of it all. She doesn’t know if it’s more fun in the Philippines but she does know it’s more fun with her smile. Then she’s off to Orlando for a Disney adventure, screaming from the tallest heights and rushing through torrential downpour in what truly is The Happiest place on Earth. Then she’s back on cloud nine and finds herself dancing through Havana nights, a city truly frozen in time. She relishes in losing the outside world and roaming through rainbow buildings and retro cars, falling asleep to Cuban lullabies. Then she’s running through the 6ix with less of her woes and remembers the last time she was in Toronto. Doe eyed and naive but fast forward to today, she’s feeling 28. Here’s to another year she muses, here’s to more life, more heart and MORE HER. And soon enough she’s back home and no longer the girl she once was, broken and in disarray but a woman in search of her word. She may have lost the battle but she’s clearly winning the war. 

In the midst of it all she had already put herself out there. Unsure, unready and so very afraid but she hits download anyway. The whole thing is daunting and the fear inescapable but when is anyone ever ready for anything anyway? So she jumps head first (for once) and heart after. She swipes left aplenty but swipes right on a few and - It’s a match!

She doesn’t know what to think of him at first, ‘cause she left him on read as she plane hopped in June but his interest was engaging and oh so soon they exchange numbers and “Can I call you?” 

His voice catches her off guard - older and more refined and so sure of himself as they spoke of everyday things. And next thing you know they set a date and she’s standing in the movie theatre with a nervous fervor. They’re thrilled by swinging spiders far from home and endless conversation and next thing you know it’s past midnight and she’s found herself intrigued beyond belief. The next few weeks are filled with his smile, his laughter and boyish jokes 

[*sunglasses on, hat on* “This is my running like an actor look” to “Where’d all these cars come from? It’s like the Avengers rolled through, slow down Spider-Man!”]

But nothing excites her more than the way he stimulates her mind [”You know we’re an anomoly, You and I”] 

She finds herself glowing in this connection they’ve created, talking of near misses of years past [”we were both in Langara at the same time!” and “just gonna go back in time and be like see you in 5 years?”] to a soft familiarity as if she’s supposed to have known him before [”I used to fly LA all the time, pretty sure you were my gate agent once maybe twice”].  

But it’s the little things she’ll never forget and the little things he’s done for her in such a short amount of time. From car rides home, Bazzi’s 3:15 and singing to old school jams and Backstreet Boys. And God, he doesn’t know it but boy could he sing. And every time he did, her heart skipped a little faster than it should. 

He takes her to nature, hand-holding, eye-glancing and steal-kissing. And soon enough he feels like summer. From sunrises to sunsets to before midnights and to his handsome cockiness she decides that she likes. “What’s your type?” She’s not sure, she likes what she likes but if she really had to choose he’d be her type. And he tells her that she’s different [”yeah I’m different”] But there’s still a garden in her heart and the walls are very high. They joke that they’re “friends with feelings” but then the elephant in the room was always looming and she knew perhaps it was too good to be true. He chalks it up to “timing,” the invariable third party in the tango of life. 

Her heart sinks a little because he nips it in the bud before anything can really bloom and she thinks it’s a shame because she knows they could be so much more than just g r e a t. And in the end, she wishes he would stay. [”I know what i’m missing out on,” he quietly says] Ah, at least somebody does. 

But she’s never felt this before...as though a missed opportunity had passed them by but she gets it, she understands. God, she understands. He’s always been upfront with his convictions and they still joke through it all and she respects him all the more but damn, what a shame. She hopes they can still be friends, minus the feelings (maybe) because he’s cool enough to kick it but who knows she may never hear from him again...and so it goes, so it shows (See you in 5 years? hah). 

And for a split second she allows herself to play make believe, thinking of the would have’s, could have’s, should have’s they could be. You find someone you like and you roll the die and the hand she’s been dealt had folded too quick - and that’s okay. But there’s always a pendulum swing and what goes down must come back up. So she’s grateful for his charm and the mind he has that she so wishes she could still pick. And the gratitude still wells in her heart for she’s writing again and she has him to truly thank. s i g h. 

So days become weeks and weeks become months and soon it’s half past and then some. It hasn’t been 365, not yet - not quite. It may very well be for it’s been 278 since her all consuming heartbreak. 

But she knows she’s a woman worth pursuing, who grows only in love with herself even more. And a woman who loves herself is deadly for that she is sure. Her resilience astounding, her drive alluring and forever searching from the depths of her world-building soul. It’s hard being a dreamer in a realist world but that’s what’ll make you fall in love with her. She thought she was a woman in search of her word but she’s always known what it was. She may have forgotten for a moment in the midst of all that madness but now she knows she’s truly a work of heART. 

And real love? It does make canyons out of mountains and divide oceans apart. It isn’t just about making someone feel special, anyone can do that. Again, real love is a real work of heART - just like her. And when love finds you, let it in. And when love finds you...let it show, let it grow. Love is made with the fondness of sighs, a perserving sweet and a fire in lover’s eyes. Hardened hearts yet open eyes and a touch of vulnerability sealed with a kiss after a long day’s night. And when the right people come into your life, there’s no such thing as “timing”, no barrier it can’t overcome because when real love finds you...it’s t i m e l e s s and those kind of people are always right. 

She’s still afraid of falling but she’s no longer scared of heights for she knows she can give a love like that.

Hey google, play “Love like That” by Snoh Aalegra

[hitchfender]

@wishforwishes and i were discussing this ages ago, and i’ve finally worked up the courage to do my official ranking of 1989 (deluxe). without further ado:

1. out of the woods 2. style 3. you are in love 4. welcome to new york 5. shake it off 6. blank space 7. wonderland 8. wildest dreams 9. this love 10. how you get the girl 11. i wish you would 12. i know places 13. all you had to do was stay 14. new romantics 15. clean 16. bad blood

to complete this list, i listened to the album in order and wrote a paragraph with my impressions of each track; then i went back and ranked them. i worked very hard on it, and it turned out very long, so it’s all under a read more! please send opinions and reactions ❤️ love u

welcome to new york - honestly, this song is just so fun. the beat drops smooth and satisfying, and when she yells “new york!” just before the bridge it feels like a shout of freedom. the track is lyrically thin, but that doesn’t mean the lyrics are bad, and i think taylor communicated everything she wanted to with them; this first song invites us into the album, and sets us up for a pop-flavoured story of “real love that drives you crazy.”

blank space - this is taylor at her most sardonic and self-aware, tongue firmly planted in her cheek as she sings about bad boys and loving the game. some of her imagery falls flat, and that repetitive drumbeat grates after a few verses, but man, that tongue click was a stroke of genius: bringing the listeners into her world with insolence and irony.

style - this guitar knocks me off my feet every time. here’s where she makes her 80s influences most keenly felt, and where she brings that imagery she’s so famous for to the foreground. she paints her experience with a combination of broad strokes and achingly specific detail, and when it’s over you feel drained and renewed, like at the end of a long drive through beautiful, dangerous terrain.

out of the woods - i don’t know what to say about this one that i haven’t already said, so here it is again. reading the lyrics this song feels almost manic, the chorus losing its meaning and becoming a frenetic howl, the stories she’s telling disassociated and too-sharp, like shards of memories. once you get to the bridge, it starts to sound that way, too - she switches from the more complicitous “we” to an accusatory “you,” and she starts making demands - yet even in this moment of fear and anger there’s tenderness: a sunrise and shared tears. when she seizes her agency with that “oh, i remember” i feel some primal emotion lodge itself like a bullet in my chest.

all you had to do was stay - although i like the way she transitions from vindictive to tender and back again (“you were all i wanted / but not like this / not like this”), the lyrics feel a bit repetitive and the upbeat mood detracts from the meaning she’s trying to express.

shake it off - RIGHTS for these trumpets. and the giggle. some of the vocabulary feels a little forced (hella good hair?), and the production is oddly gapped - there are breaks in the ambient sound that force you to focus on her singing, but this isn’t her best vocal work... but, like, i think i’m concentrating on the wrong thing here. this is a song about letting go of the hate, literally intended for you to lose your mind to in your room at 3 am. i can’t fault the concept.

i wish you would - this start sounds a lot like the opening of style, actually, and these spaced-out electronic drums are straight off ootw. fascinating. moving on: this sounds like a diary entry, which is extremely taylor, but it makes the song come off a bit disconnected. love that line about “a crooked love in a straight line down,” but by the end i’m left with no distinct emotional impression. also literally forgot about it when i was trying to rank the songs.

bad blood - (i know it’s not on the album but i can’t not critique the kendrick verses. “pov of you and me, similar iraq”: L. i like the nod to backstreet freestyle tho.) anyway i feel like i would be more fuck-feminism about this whole thing if it slapped harder, but as it is i’m falling asleep a bit. album version especially. sorry ms swift!

wildest dreams - that’s more fucking like it. this is probably in my top 10 of her songs, from any album. every line of this! the imagery! the dreamy vibes! the way the bridge hits and she lets loose all of that fierceness she’s been holding back (”burn it down”)! i love how the sunset line parallels her own red and rosy makeup, and the dreamy feeling that conveys. also one time i had sex to this song and it was exactly as transcendent as you’d imagine, so.

how you get the girl - i’ll admit i’m not a massive fan of taylor’s favoured “ah” exclamations, but i’ll let em slide because this song goes off. hygtg accomplishes what ayhtdws set out to do: contrasting message and tone with just the right amount of attitude. i love the narrative in this one, too - she tells a clear story with subtle changes to the verses and the chorus. also the sudden vulnerability in her voice when she sings “i don’t want you to go” is like a shock of cold water. masterful.

this love - i can never decide how i feel about this track. the chorus looks almost ridiculous on paper - “this love is good / this love is bad”, seriously? - but god, she sells it, and just like in ootw the ohhs help to create that dreamlike atmosphere. the water metaphors mirror the seagulls on the album cover, by the way, which: mind.

i know places - right off the bat this piano and the way the drums come in late remind me of kanye’s “runaway” - a mirrored version of it, maybe. "runaway” is a warning - he’s laying himself bare, telling his lover he doesn’t plan on changing, exhorting her to run while she can. taylor’s version is a statement of fierce intent: it’s about isolating yourself from the world, making the almost violent choice to remain with your lover despite everything else. they’re songs about escape, but not escapism. anyway i like this song because it’s about harry styles.

clean - this one is boring somehow. like i get it, water metaphors, but the ah-ahs are getting on my nerves again and “hung my head as i lost the war” seems a bit self-consciously understated. maybe i just haven’t felt the specific feeling she’s writing about yet, but until i do this one will remain low on my list.

wonderland - she’s trying to get across this fierce “us against the world” thing, but there’s not enough of taylor’s specialty: those razor-sharp details that make her music feel both universal and infinitely personal. wonderland is all vague allusions to green eyes and getting lost together, full of sound and fury but not signifying much. i am into the i-am-a-woman-and-i-am-fucking-crazy thing, but i need a bit more from her.

you are in love - am i strong enough for this? we’ll see. this track’s got it all -lyrics clean as anything from her earlier discography, backed by those synths that are 80s without feeling like pastiche. i’m obsessed with the dynamics; her choice to use or remove the backing vocals emphasises her own voice, brings out its flaws and makes the song (though it’s quite production-heavy) feel raw. she makes use of her favourite trick, little snatches of memories creating a pointillist picture, but the most affecting line comes (as with so many of her best songs) in the bridge: “you understand now ... why i’ve spent my whole life trying to put it into words.” it’s the only time she mentions herself on this self-effacing track, and the effect is immediate and startling - suddenly we’re in taylor’s shoes, watching a beautiful relationship unfold from the outside, and after a full album of songs about a fragile, doomed love affair, that line lends “you are in love” new depth.

new romantics - i have whiplash but WE’RE ALL BORED! taylor once again proves she’s never read the scarlet letter. come to think of it, a whole lot of these lyrics don’t make sense, so... yup, just googled and max martin and shellback cowrote this one. side effect: it sounds great, and the words are secondary. the old taylor pops out on the bridge to remind us of her broken-heart fantasies (“please leave me stranded”), but it sounds more like parody than ever - maybe that’s growth? a bit like blank space, this track is glaringly self-aware, like she’s daring her critics to condemn her for the foibles she already knows about, and delights in. i don’t hold it against her. god knows she’s earned a little indulgence.

tagging @roseringharrie @complicatedbabyhoneyfreak @faithmp3 @carefisher @dyketaylorswift @harrysdimples @rainbowfragrance13 (hi and welcome!) @harrystylesep @winoharry @archer-wilde @haaaaaaarrry because at some point we’ve liked each other’s taylor swift posts and/or you’ve been very nice while i yelled incoherently about her. love you all more than words and stream lover xoxoxo