#*backstreet boys voice* oh my god we’re back again

[crazyw3irdo]

(masterlist)

[oknowkiss]

microfic may - day 1 - yearn

*extremely backstreet boys voice* oh my god we’re back again! just like last year, all of my @microficmay entries are connected into a larger story. this year i’m shoving harry & draco even further north, to a seed bank in the arctic.  50 words. no rating. drarry.

“You’re late,” Draco calls down a long hall. Harry squints, darkness sharp after weeks outside.

Harry’s polar kit is heavy with snow; he lets Draco’s echoing footsteps come to him.

Draco looks warm. Clean, rested. Harry’s opposite even here, at the end of the Earth.

“Did you remember my Maltesers?”

[spideyspeaches]

Take me to Church ↬ a.r

requested by @merceret​: Arvin and cheerleader!Reader sneak off during the night and have smut in his car in the woods? 👀🙃

A/N: this is a repost from my old account!

Warnings: unprotected semi-public sex ( *whispers* they do it in a caaaar 👀 also don’t be a loner, cover your boner ✌🏽✌🏽 ) LOT OF SPOILERS IN THIS!! Bad attempt at writing like a 64 year old man from Ohio.

MINORS DNI

WC: 1.5k

Pairing: Arvin Russell x Cheerleader!Reader

Masterlist || taglist

Arvin was a smart boy. He had been told that countless times by his mother before the godforsaken disease took her away, and his daddy too, before he started beating the shit out of him.

He didn’t doubt that a minute in his life, but then he grew up, wondering what went wrong. He was not the same doe eyed boy anymore. He liked to think that he was strong, not like his daddy used to tell him before a good spanking.And he definitely wasn’t a sinner, no, he was just a victim of God’s wrath. It wasn’t his fault that the boys made fun of his sister, they all deserve the beating they got.

Breathing in the cigarette, he blew out the smoke before it could burn his lungs, or kill him from the same disease that killed his ma. He was sitting on the front porch of his school, watching as people went by. The jocks wandering around the field, some of the artistic ones sketching while eating their lunches, and then there was the cheerleading squad.

He watched. It’s what he did a lot. He watched as cancer took his mother, he watched the way the fake Preacher looked at Lenora.

“You know, one of those sticks take six minutes of your life.” A voice spoke behind him. You sat besides him, your cheerleader costume showing your smooth legs and your pretty smile, hair done in an updo.

“And how would you know that?” He smirked, looking you up as you blush. God you looked so pretty, blushing like that. He watched you too. How you would roam the halls with your pom poms and those pompous sons of bitches that teased his sister. But it was never You. You were a sweet little girl, always got As in all your tests and all.

“I always tell that to my daddy to get him to quit. Tell him that it’s six minutes less he gets to spend with me.” You said, taking the stick from his hand and smashing the butt on the ground. You fiddled with your skirt, accidentally hiking it up your thigh.

“Did he listen?” He asked, looking at You as You smiled.

“No.”

He looked at you again. You were looking at him with your shiny eyes, all innocent and bright. He wondered what you would say when he fucked you hard against his old car, scoring through the woods and scream his name until you were sore. Shaking himself from his head, he saw you biting your lips. He wasn’t even sure You liked him like that.

Craving for another smoke, he fiddled with his hands, taking your hands instead, looking for a reaction. You didn’t snatch it back, but instead, straddled his lap to pull him into a heated kiss. Your nails scraped at his hair, the smooth strands getting ruffled up as you push your lips on his, uncaring of the others around them.

You moaned against his mouth, the sound going straight South. Taking your waist, he squeezed them lightly, crazy happy that he was making out with You, Y/N L/N, under the bleachers like some cheesy films like those in the Carnivals.

“You wanna ditch class?” He asked after sometime, heaving for a breath as you licked your swollen lips. Your makeup was a little smeared, but You still looked beautiful. His heart sped up, uncharacteristically, a strange rush of excitement flooding his veins.

“Yeah. How bout the woods?” You said, getting off from his lap. He was glad the ground was almost empty, wouldn’t want to get caught by some old janitor or a nosy freshman.

“Sounds good to me.” He said and crashed his lips into hers to steal another kiss.

                                      _______________________

“Oh! this is good” You whimpered as he slammed your back to the hood of his car, gripping you in his strong hold as the cicadas and crickets chirped, the bright sun hitting your naked chest through the windows, making it slick with sweat. You were in a forest, and were sure that no one would come now, and with the noises you were making? No one would dare come near the shaking car.

Kissing him with your swollen lips, you gripped his muscular back as he nipped you, eliciting another moan from you. He grabbed your legs, hiking up the skirt that you were still wearing. God the damned skirt, you wanted it out of your way. Slipping your hands to unlatch it, you were stopped by his hands as he slid his own on your clothed pussy. Stripping you, your breath hitched as he inserted two fingers, your clit slicked with pleasure.

“Ohh Arvin, hmm.” You breathed into his ears, enjoying the way he shuddered when you said his name. Pulling for a moment, he looked you up and down before removing his boxers awkwardly, head slanting because of the roof, his thick cock springing out like nobody’s business, making you clench your thighs.

Shoving your thighs, you hooked your legs around him, pulling him down as he slid in your entrance. “Are you sure?” He breathed as you nodded in response, stroking his chest that made him clench, his abs more visible under the sunlight.

“Come on baby, I’m waiting.” You teased, scratching your nails along the V of his stomach. Arching your back, you grunted as he thrusted into you, your walls closing in as your hips clashed against each other.

“You like that baby girl? Like it when I’m inside you?” He cooed, making your stomach coil in pleasure. Momentarily, you gave up the sweet girl facade, your heart racing as if you had run a marathon. How could it be tame? when he was inside you, making you feel all kinds of things?

“Yes, I do Arvin, oh Jesus you’re amazing!” You jerked. You weren’t sure when you had had such a good fuck before, and sure enough never this fast had you reached your high. And Arvin? Jesus, he was a sight for sore eyes, his eyes clenched as he pushed inside your walls, hitting your g-spot, making you gasp in pleasure. His muscled chest vibrating as you felt your stomach tighten.

“Saying God’s name like that while we’re fucking? You wanna be a bad girl now?” He smirked later, not really meaning what he said. If it meant that you would be saying his name with that pretty mouth of yours, he wouldn’t mind it.

“This is not sin, baby, this is pleasure. Call it what you want but I said what I said.” You drawled, pulling yourself up, his hard dick still inside you as you sat up, taking his face in your hands and hovering your lips over his. “You’re so sweet Arvin, you wanna fuck again?”

“I would love to.” He said shakily, leaning forward to capture your lips again. You dance along like that, him kissing your mouth, and your neck, then your breasts, leaving marks all over you, The Backstreet Boys playing on the junk radio of his car. “You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.”

“And you have the prettiest little lips.” You said, holding his chin and delicately caressing his soft lips and leaning in for another kiss.

                                 ____________________________

The next day you saw him again, acid washed jacket and backwards cap, striped T-shirt that fit him quite snugly. He was walking with the girl again, the girl who the boys teased relentlessly. You didn’t understand why they did so, make a poor girl question herself when those whores out there were just as bad. Lenora was a sweet girl, you liked her.

Running towards him, you quickly fixed your sweater and skirt, taming the strands near your shoulder.

“Hey Arvin!” You said nervously. He had been a gentleman to you. He looked up smiling, telling Lenora to make her way as you, lighting a smoke on his way. Scowling, you took the stick out of his mouth.

Looking down, he smiled, “Hey Y/N.”

He was fiddling with his fingers again. You took his hands in yours, tracing the veins on his arms. You saw his pupils inflate like a balloon.

“So um, do you have practice today?” He asked, biting his bottom lip and giving you a tentative smile.

“Nah, coach called in sick today. Do you wanna go to Mickey-D’s?” You ask. The school lane was almost empty now, buses leaving to drop off the kids.

“Sure, I don’t have no work today anyways.” He stuffed his hands in his pocket. He was a handsome boy, and you felt extremely lucky that someone like him had asked you to do him in the backseat of a car. Not only that but he was sweet but not enough to not stand up for himself or the others. With a start, you realised that he wasn’t like the other boys in your school.

Handing him his smoke back, you let your hands linger on his shoulder for a moment, cupping his cheek. You leaned in, feeling his hands twitch, and kissed him. It felt nice.

[raysofcrosby]

CHANCES – M. TKACHUK

requested: yes | no

warning(s): none that i can think of.

word count: 5,066

listened to: chances by the backstreet boys

inspiration: mixed luggage au [ i can’t find the og au-prompt masterlist, but if this is your au idea, lemme know and i’ll link you for credit (: ]

authors note: listen– i don’t know what it is, but i’ve literally been on a tkachuk thing lately. like, i used to despise this little curly-headed gremlin, but now??? it’s all hearteyes motherfucker. this is purely a writing to help me get back into the writing groove again after these last six months of nothing– so i might be a lil rusty. anyway, i hope you enjoy <3333

part two | google doc w/ all parts | my masterlist | stuff i have planned | who i’ll write for | requests

I’m sorry Y/N, but if you’re not here in the next 5 minutes I need to keep going.

That text haunted you– it was all you could think about the moment you got off of your flight. The uber your sister had ordered for you was close to canceling– all because there were too many planes taxiing on the airstrip and your stupid flight ended up circling in the air for thirty minutes. If this were any other airport, no doubt you’d be screwed. Luckily though, you knew good ole St. Louis Lambert International like the back of your hand. So getting from point A to point luggage claim would be no problem at all. The only delay would be the luggage getting put out onto the carousel.

Which of course, did prove to be the problem at hand.

You were the first one from your flight at the carousel and hoped to be gone before any disgruntled passengers you managed to bump into, could show up. Unfortunately for you, just as the bags were being loaded onto the carousel, your fellow passengers were arriving too– more than a few giving you a look that would normally result in you rolling your eyes in response. Yet, your focus wasn’t on them, it was glued to the small carousel door, keeping an eye out for your suitcase.

Teal bag with a grey handle. Teal bag with a grey handle. Teal bag with a grey handle. Teal bag with a grey hand–

“Ah-ha!” You smiled, catching eye of your suitcase and rushing to meet it instead of letting it eventually make its way to you. You grabbed the suitcase and extended the handle to drag it away, already walking towards the exit.

One minute.

You had one minute to catch your uber before they left you and you hoped and prayed that luck was on your side and the black Toyota Corolla just happened to be parked near the door you chose to exit from. The warm summer air of the Missouri summer weather practically smacked you in the face and it fit wasn’t for the awning covering the pick-up zone, you would have no doubt been blinded by the sun too.

“Oh, thank God,” you sighed, catching sight of a black Toyota Corolla that your sister said to find, parked just six cars down to your left. You sped walked to the uber, coming to a stop at the window and waving at the driver, catching her attention. “I’m so, so sorry I’m late.”

The woman, probably in her early 60’s gave you a friendly smile instead of the scowl you were expecting. “Are you Y/N?”

“Yes ma’am,” you replied, nodding.

“Go ahead and put your suitcase in the trunk, it’s opened for you.”

You walked to the trunk and lifted it open, placing your suitcase inside before closing it and walking to the back passenger door, getting into the backseat. “Again, I’m so sorry for making you wait. We had to circle in the air for 30 minutes because of the traffic on the airstrip and,” you exhaled, relaxing back into your seat. “I’m so sorry.”

She laughed, pulling away from the airport. “It’s no problem sweetheart. I saw your reply. I was going to give you a little extra time. I know how hectic airports could be. Especially this time of the year. Everyone’s traveling for vacation.”

“Yeah, I think I might have accidentally elbowed one too many people trying to get to luggage claim.”

“Are you visiting or coming home?”

“Coming home…kind of,” you laughed, staring out the window at your hometown. “I actually just graduated from college a few weeks ago, so my roommates and I rented a house on the Jersey Shore to celebrate. But, my sister is getting married tomorrow, so that’s why I’m back.” You looked back towards her, laughing softly to yourself. “But then come September, I’ll actually be moving to Calgary for a new job and to get my Masters.”

“So a lot of traveling, I see.”

You took a deep breath and sighed, nodding. “Yeah, but I’m glad to be able to spend all of this time with my friends and family before I start working. Especially since I’ll be moving so far away.”

“It sounds like a great time,” she smiled, looking at me through the rearview mirror. “I’m a sucker for weddings, why don’t you tell me about it?”

Normally, you weren’t one to talk a lot whenever you and your friends would take Ubers downtown on the weekends– but this driver was sweet and you found yourself talking nonstop as she drove you towards your final destination. After all, she didn’t abandon you at the airport like you thought she would.

~

The car ride to your parents' place went by a lot faster than you thought it would and it was all thanks to Mrs. Sheila, your lovely uber driver. Whom, you learned, started driving after she lost her husband late last year. Her kids lived out of state and once they went back home after those first few weeks, she wanted to find something to do to keep herself busy and get herself out of the house– so, she became an uber driver.

Walking into your parents' house, you were greeted with empty echos of your footsteps. Your parents were still at work and wouldn’t be home until just a little before the rehearsal dinner tonight. Your brother, well, as far as you knew, he had absolutely nothing going on, so you didn’t know why he wasn’t around. If anyone was guaranteed to be home, it was your sister. She was the one who ordered your uber and had them take you here, so she was more than well aware of what time you’d be arriving home.

“Hello?” You called out, leaving your suitcase by the door and making your way to the living room. “Char, are you here?”

“Is that my favorite sister?” You heard her voice call out from upstairs. Looking up, you could see her rounding the hallway corner, carrying a closed laundry basket full of, no doubt, stuff for tonight’s bridal party sleepover.

“I’m your only sister,” you laughed as she made her way down the staircase.

“Unless you count all of the times we got bored and turned Nick into Nikki,” she giggled, reaching the end of the staircase and putting the basket down before stepping forward and hugging you. “How was the flight?”

“It was great up until our 30 minutes of circling in the air,” you laughed, pulling away from the hug. “Where’s my dear brother?”

“Working out with some friends. We probably won’t see him until tonight.”

“Nothing says welcome home like being greeted to an empty house.”

“Excuse you, I was here to greet you.” She laughed, picking the basket back up. “But if you really want to be upset, you should see all of the packed boxes in your room.”

“I leave in three months! Why are they packing me up now?” You gasped, acting dramatically.

“Nick and dad are planning on transforming it into some kind of training room or something.”

“But they–“

“Already took over the garage? Yeah, I know and mom is pissed.”

You rolled your eyes, grabbing the handle of your suitcase again. “He literally told the Blues that he was going back to Michigan in the fall to try and win a championship. Why the hell are they even treating him like he’s already a hall of famer?”

“Perks of being the youngest, not to mention dad’s only son,” she laughed, looking at the door. “Ready to head to the Airbnb?”

“Can we get food first?” You asked, dragging your suitcase along. “I’m starving.”

She laughed as you held the door open for her. “Good, because we’re most definitely getting food before we go and take a nap.”

You laughed, walking out of the house with her and then closing and locking the door behind you. “I knew we were related.”

~

Lunch and a nap turned out to be exactly what you needed. The two of you had stopped at a subway to get some food before driving over to the Airbnb that you, your sister and the rest of the bridesmaids would be staying for the night.

It was a beautiful three-bedroom, modernized cottage that looked like it was stripped directly from the pages of a fairytale book. It was tucked away, just off to the side in the backyard of a beautiful colonial house, whose farm would tomorrow be transformed into a whimsical fairytale wedding location. The men would be getting ready in the house, while the women would be getting ready in the cute cottage. Sort of like a secret getaway paradise before the wedding.

When you got back with your food, your sister took you on a tour of the property while the wedding planners and staff were setting up all of the bigger decorations for tomorrow. You were off at school during the entire planning process, only ever seeing every one of her ideas in pictures. The only things you were able to take part in, were the dress shopping and her bachelorette party since they were both held at a time you were on a fall break from school. Besides being there for those two things, the only other thing you helped with– was the proposal.

Colton has been in your life for as long as you could remember. He and Charlotte have been best friends since Pre-K. It was the cliché friends to lovers kind of story that was told time after time– but in theirs, there were no other people in it. It was just them. There were no other boyfriends or girlfriends, no other crushes– from the very beginning, they were it for each other. They were each other's first everything– kiss, date, girlfriend/boyfriend, time– in their love story, they had found their one great love…all before they turned five.

Wherever Charlotte was, there was Colton– they were stuck like glue and your parents loved it. It was their friendship that brought both of your families together to the relationship that you all had now. Your families were best friends, all because of their relationship. You often took vacations together, spent holidays together, hell, you and Colton’s middle brother, Mason, even had joint birthday parties– as did your two younger siblings, Nick and Addie. Your families even try to go as far as to dropping hints that all three kids should date.

Colton and Charlotte. You and Mason. Nick and Addie– all the same age and practically family already.

It was perfect.

Until you and Mason tried to date in the tenth-grade and realized that kissing the person you’ve shared every birthday party with, used to take baths with and shared every key moment growing up– wasn’t all that great. In fact, it was weird. So the two of you remained as the almost black sheep of the families, especially since Nick and Addie were headed down the same path as Charlotte and Colton. They started dating in eighth-grade– like Colton and Charlotte– and have maintained a healthy and strong relationship to now, even long-distance, when they’ll both be sophomores in college in the fall, Addie at the University of Missouri and Nick playing hockey at the University of Michigan.

You and Mason were there, always making jokes about how it runs in the family but skipped a generation. Never letting your siblings live it down that the two of you will be the ones to break the cycle. Funny how you two were also the ones who played the biggest roles in Charlotte’s engagement.

Both of your dads are huge St. Louis Blues fans. So naturally, they tried to rub that off onto their children. And it worked, all except for you. You tolerated the blues, but never really adopted hockey as your favorite sport. You understood it, watched it whenever you never had a choice– but like your mom, you gravitated more towards football and adopted her hometown team as your own– the Pittsburgh Steelers.

Colton and Charlotte, however, were both diehard Blues fans from day one. There were even pictures to prove it. They even went to a game on both their first ‘supervised’ date and ‘unsupervised’ date. So, when the Blues were making a run for the Stanley Cup– it was imminent for your families to attend at least one game. You and Mason did everything in your power to get the Blues attention. You emailed anyone and everyone who worked in their front office, you spammed their social media accounts– anything and everything to get their attention so you could share their story and Colton’s plan.

And at game four it all came to life. Charlotte was ‘randomly’ selected to participate in an intermission event after the first period where she’d be blindfolded and needed to walk along the ice to find Louie after collecting ‘Blues momentos’ along the way. The Blues had played the short slideshow of Colton and Charlotte that you and Mason had sent them, as they introduced her to the crowd. Unbeknownst to her, both of our families were on the ice with her, standing behind her while she was blindfolded. You and the other three siblings were scattered in front of her, each holding a single rose.

The Blues staff member helped her walk along the ice and the moment that she took a flower from someone, they needed to go back to where she started, which was where Colton was standing with the ring in his pocket. The four of you each had a sign, that when held up together read ‘Will you marry me?’ Once Charlotte neared Louie, he cut the distance to just by center ice where all of you were waiting. And when she found Louie, the entire crowd had erupted into cheers as she took off her blindfold, all smiles until she turned around to see the signs and Colton on one knee.

She said yes. The Blues won. The proposal went viral and your families were given a box to game seven where the Blues won the Stanley Cup.

All in a day's work between the two middle siblings, and one that led you all to this moment– the wedding tomorrow. Where Colton, who was already like a big brother yo you, would officially, pretty much become your big brother.

“Y/N,” your sister said, shaking your arm. “Y/N, get up. We’ve got like 45 minutes to get ready for dinner before we have to leave and no offense, but you need to shower.”

“Your lucky that you’re getting married tomorrow or I’d kill you,” you mumbled into the pillow, taking a deep breath and exhaling before pushing yourself up. “Can you charge my phone for me? I won’t take too long, just need to rinse off and I’ll be back.”

“In your backpack?” She asked as you walked out of the room.

“Mhhm, small front pocket. The charger is with it.”

You walked out of the room and into the connected bathroom, closing the door behind you before walking towards the shower and turning on the water. Your nap was more than enough to help you make it through dinner. You hadn’t thought that you were even that tired, but the moment you laid down to relax after eating your sandwich– you were absolutely knocked out.

To be fair though, you had spent the last two weeks partying it up on the beach with your college roommates, trying to relive every moment from your last four years of partying, downing booze, and making out with any attractive guy who caught your eye. You know what they say, no rest for the wicked– and boy, oh boy, were the wicked actions of shotgunning beers with strangers in the hot summer jersey sun, coming back to haunt you.

At least you got one hell of a tan and more memories to last you a lifetime, out of it all.

You turned off the shower before you stepped out and wrapped a towel around your body, then wrapping your hair up in a second towel. You walked out of the bathroom and back to the bedroom, only to find it empty. "Hey, Char?"

"In the living room...er, kitchen, I guess!"

You walked out of the bedroom and into the living room to see Charlotte sitting at the kitchen counter, a make-up mirror propped up in front of her and hot curling iron in her hand. "Why are you doing your hair in the kitchen?"

"You were in the bathroom and the lighting is lacking in the bedroom." She let a curl, fall from the iron and turned to you. "What's up?"

"Well, for one, the bathroom is free," you laughed, looking around. "And two, I was wondering where you put my suitcase? It was in the room and now it's not."

"No," she dragged out her reply, focusing on wrapping another piece of hair around the iron before averting her eyes towards the door. "You left it by the front door. Never brought it in."

You turned towards the front door and sure enough, right there not even three feet away from the door...was your suitcase. "Awesome, thanks!" You said, walking over and tugging on the handle, extending it out before walking back to the room. "And my phone?"

"Charging in the kitchen. It was dead by the way."

"Great," you huffed, walking into the bedroom and over to the bed. You lifted up the suitcase, letting it plop down onto the bed and exhaled a deep breath. It was a lot heavier than you thought it was. But maybe your body was just tired from traveling and last night's final night out.

You caught a glimpse of the alarm clock that was set up on the bedside table and saw that your getting ready time was vastly starting to dwindle. So, not thinking anything more of the heavy suitcase, you unzipped the zipper and threw the cover back, ready to grab the romper you had placed directly on top, just so it wouldn't get wrinkled. You stared down at the contents of the suitcase, quickly grabbing the cover and shutting it again.

Okay, maybe you were imagining things.

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, exhaling, and then opening your eyes and opening the suitcase again.

No, you definitely weren't imagining things.

The same spike ball netting was still staring you right in the face. Surrounding it, were three spike balls and a crumbled up bag that was supposed to house the set. Beneath it, a bunch of crumpled up clothes and other things.

"No," you shut the suitcase again, repeating the same steps: close your eyes, take a breath, hope you're dreaming, open your eyes and then the suitcase, only to be disappointed. "No, no– oh my God, this can't be happening. Charlotte!!"

You heard her footsteps echo off of the wooden floor as she made her way to the bedroom, half of her hair curled and set. "What?"

"This isn't my suitcase."

"Of course it is," she scoffed. "Colton and I got you that big traveling set for graduation, and that," she pointed at the suitcase, "is it."

"No, it's not," You opened the suitcase and reached in, grabbing the first thing you felt and holding it up to show her. "See? Not mine!"

"Y/N," her eyes widened before she started to laugh. "You might want to put those down."

"It's just the spike ball bag, it's not big–" you turned to see what you were holding and sure enough, it was not the spike ball bag you thought you had picked up. It was a pair of Ant-Man boxers, and it was unknown whether or not they were clean or not. "Ah, ew!" You tossed them back into the suitcase, wiping your hand on your towel. "Ew, ew, ew, I just touched a stranger's dirty underwear."

"You don't know if they were dirty."

"You don't know if they were clean!" You argued back, looking around the handle for an identification tag. "This definitely isn't mine. My travel tag isn't on the handle."

"Who uses a travel tag?" She laughed, shaking her head.

"Me," you turned towards the suitcase, slamming it shut and zipping it. "I use a travel tag, so if my luggage gets lost or switched, they can contact me. It's common travel knowledge."

She sighed, walking over towards the suitcase and unzipping the two pockets on top, looking in and shaking her head. "Nothing hidden in those pockets. Did you think to go through the rest of the suitcase? Maybe they have a tag in there."

"And risk touching another pair of possibly dirty boxers and God knows what else? No thanks," you zipped up the suitcase and picked it up, placing it back onto the ground. "I'm doomed. That suitcase had all of the clothes that I took to Jersey, in it. It had my outfit and makeup for tonight."

"I have something you can borrow," she walked over to the closet, opening it to reveal it was empty besides two dresses hanging up. "And I've got make-up and whatever your little heart desires for your hair."

"Your wedding present was in there too," you sighed, walking over to the closet. "Which one?"

"This." She held out the rose-colored dress, handing the hanger to you. "You can get away with no bra and I can give you a pair of underwear from the new pack I bought this morning–"

"Why would you buy new underwear?" You asked, taking the dress.

"In case of emergencies," she closed the closet and turned back to you, nodding. "Which, this is. Unopened pack in that laundry basket I was carrying, feel free to take a pair and keep them. As for shoes...you're kind of on your own on that one."

You sighed, defeated as she walked out of the bedroom, leaving you to get dressed. You unwrapped the towel around your hair, letting it drop onto the floor as the towel wrapped around your body went with it. You took the dress off of the hanger and untied the straps, lifting the dress over your head and tugging it down. Your mind was going over every detail of just how you picked up the wrong suitcase. Fair, it was a dead-ringer for the suitcase you took with you to Jersey, but even you should have known to realize that there was no bright red luggage tag hanging on the side handle. And it was all you could do but hope that whoever picked up your suitcase thinking it was theirs, would at least call or text.

"Oh shit," you said, holding onto the straps that hung down on the side, trying to tie them in the back. "Charlotte! My phone!"

You ran out into the living room to see her now finishing up her make-up at the counter, turning to you with wide eyes. "Okay one, sit down and let me brush your hair," she stood up and grabbed your wrist, bringing you over to counter and sitting you down. "And two, your phone is right there."

"If they figured out our luggage was switched, they'd call! My luggage tag!" You reached across the counter, grabbing your phone and turning it over to see that the screen was still black. "Oh come on, my phone wasn't that dead!"

Charlotte tugged you back and started to brush your hair, not bothering to go slow. "I plugged it in the moment you went to take a shower, just give it a few seconds."

If looks could kill, your phone would be nowhere ready to turn on. You were glaring at the screen as if pure intimidation would turn it on. This could go one of two ways:

1) This person left your suitcase in the dark abyss that is lost luggage at the airport.

or

2) Like you, they didn't realize that they had grabbed the wrong luggage until they went to open it and they'll find your luggage tag and call you.

"Ah!" You yelled, jumping out of the chair as your phone lit up. You leaned over the counter, your heart racing as Charlotte tried to keep brushing your hair. "Come on, come on, come on..."

"Right there," Charlotte said, pointing at your screen as a text message notification popped up on the screen from an unknown number. "That has to be them!"

"Oh thank God," you sighed, thumb ready to swipe the message open. "Oh...yikes."

"Uh," Charlotte laughed as the two of you continued to watch your messages pour in, at least 5 coming in from the unknown number, along with three phone calls. "Yikes indeed, I guess they're panicking just as much as you are."

You swiped on the notifications, unlocking your phone, and going to the message.

unknown: hi y/n i think you grabbed the wrong suitcase...

unknown: yeah, uh, you most definitely grabbed the wrong suitcase.

unknown: is there any way we can switch in the next 30 minutes before i reach my house?

unknown: ok, so i'm sorry for the spam texts and calls...but this is kind of urgent.

unknown: like life or death.

"Life or death?" Charlotte asked, looking at you with a raised eyebrow. "What the hell was in that suitcase?"

"Spike ball and dirty clothes," you replied, shrugging. Your eyes went wide before you turned back to her. "What if they're a drug smuggler and there are drugs in there?"

She opened her mouth to speak before looking down at your phone, nodding. "Now's your chance to find out. Look who's calling."

You looked back down at your phone to see the unknown number flash on your screen. You looked back at her, shaking your head. "You answer it."

"Your luggage, you answer it," she laughed, pulling back segments of your hair to tie back. "But put it on speaker, I'm curious what the drug dealer sounds like."

You shoved your elbow back, avoiding her as you nervously slid your thumb across the screen, answering the call and pressing the speaker button. "Hello?"

"Oh thank God," the unknown called sighed, clearing his throat. "Sorry for the spam calls, I've just been panicking."

"Yeah, I’m sorry...my phone died," you replied, looking at Charlotte as your voice dwindled off.

"The suitcase," she mouthed, nodding her head back towards the room.

"Oh, the suitcase!" You said, almost a little too excited. You cleared your throat, calming yourself down. "I most definitely have your suitcase...maybe."

"Well I have yours," you could hear rustling in the background. "Y/N L/N, right?"

"Yep, that's me," you looked at Charlotte again, shaking your head. "Sorry to kind of do this...but how do I know I have your suitcase? I mean, what if I grabbed someone else's and you grabbed mine and there's three of us in this and–"

Charlotte smacked your back lightly with the back of the brushed, shaking her head as the voice on the other side of the phone laughed. "Um, shit," he coughed, smacking his lips. "Uh well, there should be a spike ball set in there. If not, then I left it at Johnny's. Otherwise, it's just clothes."

"Congratulations," you laughed, leaning back into the chair. "I've got your suitcase."

"Oh thank God, I was really worried there for a second," they replied. "Is there any chance we can exchange them soon?"

"Okay, so about that," you sighed, biting the inside of your cheek. "I kind of have a wedding rehearsal and dinner to go to in 20 minutes...and I don't think that will be over with till about...two hours from now. Is that okay?"

There was silence on the other side and you couldn't help but feel horrible at the fact that you were keeping this stranger away from his luggage and that he had to keep yours until then. "My family and I are going to dinner in two hours, reservation and all."

"Where at?" You spoke before your brain could even catch up with what your mouth was doing. "I'm sorry that was creepy."

He laughed and you felt a little flutter feeling in your stomach. "No, it's fine. I think we're going to Maggiano's in–"

"In the Westfield town center?" Your eyes widened as Charlotte placed the brush down on the counter behind you, looking at you with a smile. "We're going to Pieology in the Westfield town center!"

"Pieology for a wedding rehearsal dinner? Sounds like my kind of party," he laughed. "So, do you just want to exchange then? When I get there and you're leaving?"

"Sounds perfect!"

"Great! So I'll just, text you when I get there and I promise I won't forget the suitcase."

"Okay, I'll see you then."

"All right, bye, Y/N!"

"Bye!" You hung up the call and Charlotte leaned against the counter a smile on her face. "What?"

"He sounded cute." She stuck placed the extra bobby pins she didn't need, onto the counter. "Maybe he can be your date for my wedding."

"Not this again," you groaned, getting out of the chair. "For the last time, I don't need a date. Besides, this guy is a total stranger– I don't even know his name!"

"You can learn it later," she laughed, wiggling her eyebrows. "Either way, do your makeup quickly because we need to leave in ten."

She walked off towards the bedroom the two of you had claimed and you sighed, sitting back down into your seat, grabbing her mascara, blush, and golden liquid shimmer eyeshadow. It was the best you could do for now, until you got all of your stuff back from this stranger. As you applied the eyeshadow, you couldn't get Charlotte's comment out of your head. She was right, he did sound cute. But who's to say that he's not a total creep? Or that he's even your age? He could be in his 40's or even barely cruising 18. And then stood the real issue, you didn't even know his name.

Your phone screen lit up once again and you looked away from the mirror, seeing that you had another text from the unknown number. You furrowed your eyebrows and unlocked your phone, opening his text.

unknown: my name is matt, by the way 😊

[stufftippywrote]

rehearsal

This is a doublefill... @midnightdrops​ was also kind enough to prompt me about Bitty/Jack, planning for the future. This deserves more words than I had the will to give it, frankly, and maybe I’ll come back to it and expand someday.

SMH Group Chat

ransom: the wedding's coming up and you know what that means! holster: BACHELOR PARTY BACHELOR PARTY BACHELOR PARTY tango: do you have two bachelor parties? if there's two grooms? nursey: chill it'll be like a double bachelor party shitty: FEATURING STRIPPERS OF MULTIPLE GENDERS bitty: oh my GOD please no

The bachelor party does not end up featuring strippers of any genders (although Shitty sort of counts after multiple beers). Instead, it's a karaoke box in Boston, and in addition to screeching Backstreet Boys, inhaling copious types of alcohol and Korean food, and generally giving Jack and Bitty hell, there are party games. NHL trivia for Jack and baking quizzes for Bitty. Almost everyone chooses to play the NHL game, and a very drunk Nursey keeps guessing Carey Price, even when the answer's not a person. It's all good fun, and Bitty has got to get away immediately.

He catches Jack's eye, then ducks out into the stairwell. A minute later, Jack manages to escape. "You doing okay?" he says, lifting a hand to smooth Bitty's hair down.

"Just a little nervous," Bitty answers. "I can't believe it's tomorrow. I've been saying all week I can't believe it's this week, but I really, really can't believe it's tomorrow!"

"Haha, me neither." Jack lowers his hand, takes Bitty's hand in his. "I'm so excited, Bits."

Bitty's not sure he's had time to be excited. "Do you remember everything? Your vows?"

"Memorized."

"Tuxedo?"

"In my parents' hotel room."

"Time we're meeting?"

"10 AM at the chapel. Are you quizzing me?"

Bitty pouts. "Oh please, you made my life hell through three semesters of French and I can't quiz you on your own wedding day?"

"Everything is going to be fine," Jack says. He presses a kiss to Bitty's forehead.

"Of course it is!" Bitty launches himself forward into Jack's arms. "Everything is going to be totally fine, nobody's going to forget anything and there's no way it will turn into a huge mess. Right?"

Jack laughs. "Bits. It really is going to be fine."

"No it's not!" Bitty's voice is muffled in Jack's shirt. "Somebody's going to do something wrong and everything is going to be ruined."

Jack wraps his arms around him, kisses the top of his head. "Bits. I promise. It'll be fine. And if something goes wrong, we'll just laugh at it and keep going. No matter what happens, at the end of the day, you and I will be married."

Bitty sighs into Jack's chest. "What's the matter with me?" he wonders aloud. "I'm a nervous wreck. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. It's a big day." Jack pushes Bitty to arm's length, stooping a bit to look at him eye to eye. "I've been a nervous wreck enough times. You can have your turn."

"I suppose as long as I remember how to put a ring on and how to kiss you, it should be okay," Bitty says, but there's doubt in his voice.

"You need to practice one more time?"

And that's a bit of a wicked glint in Jack's eyes right now. It's hard not to feel a little playful with that gaze on him, and Bitty makes a show of thinking hard. "Hmm, which part? The vows? The rings?"

"The part after that," Jack says, and the wickedness is slipping into his smile.

"Hmmm," Bitty says again. "The part where the minister tells everyone that the reception will be at the Boston Mariott at 6?"

"Bits."

Bitty grins. "I know, I know." He lets himself be swept up then, in arms and against soft lips, and as Jack kisses him Bitty closes his eyes and imagines the flowers all around them, the adoring faces of friends, the moment when they finally come to the newest chapter in their lives together. Husbands. They'll be husbands. No matter what else happens, that part's for certain.

They kiss for a full minute, Bitty reaching up to cradle Jack's face, sighing as their lips part and then touch again. Just for this moment, just right now, nothing in the world could possibly go wrong.

Except, perhaps, for Shitty banging the door open and hollering, "Okay, kids, no more nookie, time for the presents!"

"Presents?" Bitty is immediately terrified.

Jack just laughs. "It's not a bridal shower, Shits," he lectures, knowing it'll fall on deaf ears. Shitty takes him by the shoulders and shoves him back into the room, and Bitty follows, taking a deep breath. On top of everything else, all the preparation and rehearsing and worrying, they've got family and friends in their corner. Everything really will be fine.

[1zashreena1]

Angst Fluff Whiplash -14

18+, m/f, technically OCxDiego Jimenez [Power]

Summary:  What does an apex predator do after confessing undying love? Princess is about to find out.

WARNINGS: Ridiculous descriptions and ‘the code is more like guidelines’ outlook on grammar. Is it OOC if the character was given essentially zero development in canon???

Non-descriptive sexytimes, the L word, criminal activities glossed over, relationship building, plus size woman+fit man, Anxiety, This one is all feels and

I Am So NOT Sorry. 

THE TIME HAS COME

A/N:  Princess took on a life of her own and has essentially become an OC. There are infrequent mentions of her description (specifically as plus size) and her actual name in later pieces (its Bicki). She started as self-insert so she looks like me (plus size, white, short, blue eyes, curly hair). If that is not your thing, I totally understand. And do not feel obligated to read this, I will not be offended!

I’m not a fan of “plot” so be aware that most of this series is just meandering through their relationship, angst-fluff-smut whiplash style. But with dick jokes.

TAGLIST: @chelsfic​ ​ @symbiont13​ ​ @nicke0115​ ​​ @bunnykjm​ ​ @rosee-sensuelle​ ​ @girlpornparadise​ ​ @mandoplease​ ​ @heresathreebee​ ​ @xxsteph-enrixx​ ​ @jetiikad​ ​ @joalsglasses​ ​ @mutantcookiesecrets​ ​ @demoncatstone​ ​ @squidlywiddly87​ ​ @lockedoutofmyotherblog​ ​ @poeedamerons​ ​

"I don't know, Lisa. He won't tell me. Not until this weekend apparently?  We're supposed to go shopping."

"Honestly, I'm scared. I mean, there's the whole how did he get a passport FOR me dilemma. Then the part where he knows I don't like surprises. And he said he was calling my sister!"

"Oh my God, she could tell him anything! Please don't tell him about the Backstreet Boys phase. I'm going to have a panic attack."

"Of course he would tease me about it for eternity!"

"What? Watch what words? What are you talking about?"

"Do not hang up this phone! Do you even love me?!? Lisa? …. Hello?"

You toss your phone down on the bed and heave a huge sigh. Your very own BFF, abandoning you like that. Luckily its your own phone and not the insane cell Diego got you because it bounces off the other side of the bed and smacks into the wall before admitting total defeat to gravity. 

You stand there staring at your open suitcase. Your typical items are in there already. You don't need any toiletries. Or makeup, now. Or bras. Or underwear. Fucking hell, its like I already moved into the penthouse with him. 

… Could I do that? He already basically asked for it. He keeps telling me to quit my job and let him spoil me for real. You wring your hands together while rubbing your lips against each other and being bombarded with intrusive thoughts. Yeah. Until he's done with me and then I have to start all over. At 35. 

But its been almost a year now that you've been seeing Diego. What does that even mean, "seeing" him? You think about how the last few months have been so… easy. He practically lives in New York now, their territory split. He opted to control the East Coast and let his sister deal with the logistical nightmare of receiving the imports. 

He has been a lot looser since then. Faster to laugh, quicker to goof around, less likely to do anything as hard as he used to do. The distance from Alicia has allowed him to really flourish in every aspect. And he's beautiful with it. The laugh lines and the soft brown eyes wreck you every time.

He says he wants to keep you. Take care of you. You finally believe that he loves you. He has made so many improvements in communication. Hell, he read books on how to be with someone on the spectrum. Do you understand it? Hell no. Are you going to take it and run? Fuck yeah dude. I love him and I want to keep him.

And now he wants to take you on a trip. A surprise destination. Out of the country with a mostly legal passport. You don't doubt that you'll be safe with him. Your parents were a little concerned when you told them since they've never even met him. And they saw him on the national news that time he got arrested by the Feds, so that really inspires confidence. 

Your middle sister Lynne and niece Halley accidentally met him that one afternoon about a month back. And they have not shut up about it since. Diego this, Diego that, blah blah blah, paid the restaurant bill in cash, yadda yadda, took us all shopping to a Coach store and then got Halley some crazy new sold out Nikes. Diego had been delighted to be surrounded by a gaggle of giggling girls enjoying his spoiling attentions. Just like always, Diego went to the max and charmed them silly.

It was like having an out of body experience to see Diego with them. You couldn't really fault them, he swept you off your feet with no problems.  He was grinning and joking the whole time, making raunchy comments with your sister and encouraging your niece to be assertive (unnecessary according to her soccer coach and the 'Most Aggressive' trophy). He fit right in with them. Afterwards he had asked if that was what it was like to have normal siblings and your heart broke thinking about what his childhood had been like with his sister. 

Which brought you back to the here and now. He had mentioned off hand that he was going to call your sister. Maybe you should text her. She might know something.

Maybe you should just pack your bag and trust him. 

Your Diego Cell chirps and you dive for it on the nightstand. Is he okay? Please don't be hurt.

Its a pic of him. In the shower. With his own hand wrapped around himself. You choke on air and have to sit down. 

I miss you Princess

Holy. Shit. Its been almost a year that you have had unrestricted access to that incredible body and your reaction is still the same. Before you can respond another text arrives:

SOON

The attached pic is just from squinty eyes up.

You burst out laughing at him. You love that he is secretly a nerd about internet stuff. His appearance would never give that away. Time to be ridiculous right back.

Don't make me lick your eyeball 

You are a crazy person laughing to yourself alone in your bedroom.

You are so weird

Yet there you are, lusting after this weirdo

You shoot back.

… Am I the weirdo??

No. Still you.

I would threaten to bite it.. but you would like that

Well now you have to

Oh my God. You're fairly certain you could do anything to this man and he would think it was sexy. Its a novel experience.

Can we eat dinner at home tomorrow? I don't feel like wearing a real bra

You know the answer to that. 

YES. NO MORE BRAS EVER AGAIN. BE FREE

… no panties?🙏🥺

You can see the hopeful puppy dog eyes clearly.

A for effort babe. One of these days you might get your wish lol

...Are you panty free right now?

Wow. He is really trying here.

I'm packing. 

Your pic is a heap of tangled thongs dumped on top of Tiny Murder Panther.

💜🔥😛

He would find that hot. Fucking nympho.

Lemme finish this so I can go straight to the airport tomorrow

Fine. But I am pouting 

You do not doubt that.

Don't care. Still love your stupid face

You cannot believe you just sent that. 

Princess. 

Mi amor.

Diego's good little girl.

You shudder with the praise. You can hear it in his voice, as if he were right here with you.

I love you

Dream of me?

Oh baby, if you only knew. You sigh wistfully.

Always, baby

---------------‐---------

The flight is uneventful, thankfully. Your maxidress with a built-in shelf bra is stupidly comfortable and you actually take a nap. 

The plane has barely come to a stop and you already have on your silly lambswool lined Ugg flip flops. You had argued with Diego about these (Why would flip flops need a warm fuzzy lining??) but he had won by sticking one in your face and ordering you to feel. It didn't take a full second for you to snatch them both from him and cuddle them to your chest. His pleased smile full of dimples was worth all the subsequent teasing.

You slip on one of his previously stolen shirts in a metallic lilac color and roll up the sleeves so you have use of your hands. Bending at the waist, you flip your hair over and fluff it back up from the nap. What was that he had said? Oh yes: Wild and thick, just how I like it. The memory makes you bite your bottom lip and smile.

Bastian is waiting for you on the tarmac. He takes your bag and kisses you on the cheek in greeting. "Hey, sweetie. Nice shirt, is that new?"  His knowing grin is infectious. 

You nuzzle into the collar with a laugh. "Thanks! My boyfriend gave it to me." 

Bastian chuckles as he opens the passenger door for you. "Oh, honey. That is not all he is going to give you." He closes the door while you roll your eyes smirkingly. 

The ride to the penthouse is uneventful. Well, as uneventful as Friday evening rush hour traffic can be in New York. 

Bastian waits until the song is over before lowering the stereo volume. "We're supposed to pick up dinner. Any requests?" He drums his fingers on the steering wheel while you sit at the red light.

You ponder the options. "What kind of a day has he had? Meetings? Tours? Disciplinary action?" You ask Bastian thoughtfully. Sometimes when Diego has a bad day he likes comfort food. Mostly a giant heap of rice and beans next to homemade tortillas, he isn't so picky about the variety of meat.

Bastian glances at you out of the corner of his eye before warily answering, "There was a… termination… at a construction site this afternoon that took longer than expected. That's why he didn't come to get you, he wanted to shower first."

You keep your eyes focused forward to look out of the windshield. "Okay. How about Jalisco's then?" Comfort food it is. 

Bastian nods and adjusts course to obtain those tortillas.

‐--------------------

The instant the elevator doors ding open Diego pops up from the sectional and comes straight at you. Your giant sidestep to let Bastian pass is barely completed before Diego is slipping those big hands under his own pilfered shirt to crush your body to him. Your arms go around his neck like a reflex, like this is their natural resting place. He leans his forehead down onto yours and kisses you so very gently.

"Mmmm. Hi." You murmur softly into his beard. Those bottomless brown eyes look over your entire face before coming back to your own. His smile is huge, those dimples make your pulse trip. He blinks slowly down at you, just like the big cat you nicknamed him after. 

"Princess. How was the trip?" He always asks you this. You still aren't sure if its just culturally specific manners or if he is requesting a review of the flight crew's performance. Either way, your answer is always the same.

You pull him back down so you can cuddle into his neck. "Its better now that I'm here." He rubs his cheek against your own and purrs directly into your ear in response. Your body's reaction is immediate and decisive. You shiver in his arms and your nipples peak to full attention.

Except this time is different. With only a bralette and the dress's shelf bra Diego can clearly feel what just happened in real time. His eyes are comically round as he peers down at your cleavage in pleasant wonder.

"Oh. I like this outfit." His hands rise up your back to crush you further into him. You chuckle and rub your chest on his firm pectoral muscles. He watches hungrily as your compressed decolletage rises higher yet from the added pressure. "New rule to match the bedroom pants bar, no bras in the penthouse. Fucking magnificent, bonita." He licks his lips after making this proclamation.

You throw your head back and laugh joyfully.

‐----------------------

As it always does the weekend passes too quickly. Its already 1:00pm on Saturday when you two finally come down from the bedroom.

Diego is delighted to hear that your time-off request was approved for the trip. You had told him not to worry about it, your boss always kept her word about this stuff. 

That’s when he pulls a ridiculous pith hat out from under the couch. It looks like it came straight out of a Looney Tunes cartoon about a big game hunt on the African savannah.  You lose your entire shit and laugh until you do that silent clapping seal move.

Diego keeps repeating, "Wait, stop laughing. Stooooop." But he isn't faring much better. You finally wipe the tears and calm down enough to take it from his limp fingers while he chortles a few last times.

"Baby. What. What the fuck. What fucking is this??" You plunk the hat on your own head and Diego collapses facedown into your lap to gigglesnort uproariously. "Stop. Stop laughing. Stoppit!" You smack the back of his head lightly until he comes up for air.

He closes his eyes and composes himself. You take the opportunity to plop the hat on his head.

"Oh my god, that is so sexy!" You declare in high dramatics. 

He grabs your hands and leans in very close to explain. "You need this hat for our trip." Your eyes narrow in suspicion. "You will wear it for our safari quest…" he pauses for dramatic effect and your lips twitch in suppressed amusement. He leans closer yet and captures your stare. His face is hilarious, you can tell he is biting his cheek to keep from laughing. His eyebrows are drawn down in concentration but his eyes are widened in mock excitement. He sucks in a deep breath to exclaim, "To locate palm trees in the wild!"

He laughs as he puts the hat back on you.

You blink a few times in shock. Palm trees? You're going somewhere with palm trees? A tropical locale. Palm trees. Beaches. SWIMSUITS. Your sudden panic must show on your face because Diego's laughter dies off.

You blink furiously, but its too little too late. The tears burn as they well up in your eyes and spill down over your cheeks.

He reaches out to cup your face. "Princess?" His tone is an even mix of concern and fear. "Bicki? What?"

You shake your head 'no' and throw yourself into him. Diego catches you and hauls you into his lap. You curl up against his chest and sob quietly. He pets over your hair, open handed strokes so his fingers don't tangle in the curls, and soothes your back while you shake. Rubbing his nose against your temple, he kisses your cheek and whispers, "Do you want to write?" His gentle care only makes you worse. "...so that is no." He looks crestfallen. He buries his face in your hair and breathes heavily.

Your tears are slowing and your chest is finally beginning to loosen. "Dieg-" you hiccup, wrapping both hands around his forearm. You wheeze a few times before trying again. "I. I. Where? Where are we g-going?" 

He sighs deeply before answering. "Nowhere. I won't take you somewhere you don't want to go. I should have known better. I-" He snaps his jaw shut so fast that his teeth click together. 

Tilting your head back, you try to catch his eyes. Diego won't look at you. "H-hey, please." You cup his jaw and pull him down to you. He comes, but the motions are stilted. "Look. Please, baby. Let me s-see you."

When he finally meets your eyes it breaks your heart. That chocolate gaze is disappointed, hurt, frustrated even. You wiggle around until you're straddling his lap. He just holds his hands out of the way, not hindering you but certainly not helping either. Standing up on your knees to lean your forehead against his, you reach for his hands and bring them to your chest where you lace your fingers together. 

"Baby. I want that." Your nose rubs against his as you speak. "I want to go everywhere with you. I never thought I would ever get a chance like this. To travel? To go somewhere tropical? To have someone who loves me enough to do this for me?" You're crying again. And so is Diego? A little?? 

He brings your joined hands up to tap your chin. His face is adorably conflicted when he speaks, "You… want to go?" You nod slowly. His eyebrows lower as he tries to make sense of this. "Then why do you cry? Are they, the uh, is that 'happy tears' ?"

Your hands shake in his. "Yeah. Happy tears. I just. I was overwhelmed. I'm sorry." He huffs out a sigh. You continue, "Its almost like the super intense emotions short circuit my responses and I guess my default is panic crying? I don't know."

Diego huffs at you again. "Please stop that. I'm going to have a heart attack." There is a hint of real annoyance in his voice but his lips curl up at the corners. 

You free your right hand to reach up and brush his wet lashes. Why did something this little bring him to tears? "Baby, is everything okay?"

He leans into your hand, then turns to kiss your fingers. You giggle, you can't help it, his beard both tickles and delights you. He smirks at you, "It is now, Princess. You should get dressed so we can go." 

But you're not done here yet. "Where are we going on the trip? A place name, not foliage that may or may not be present."

His Cheshire cat grin is intriguing and mildly worrisome. He gives you one word, "Xcalak." And then watches while you access your mental map and pinpoint the exact location. 

It takes you a moment but you find it with a gasp. "Costa Maya? Like Caribbean-sea side of Mexico??"  He nods and you immediately start in with 20 Questions. "Are there cenotes? Is the water really those unreal colors? Is the food amazing there? Can we see ruins?"

Diego cups your face to stop you. "Whatever you like, little girl." With a kiss to your nose and a smack to your ass he ushers you upstairs to get dressed. 

-----------------------

The shopping is less traumatic than normal for you thanks to Diego making enthusiastic innuendo nonstop and feeding you between stores. You find sandals, and flip flops, and little slip-on sneakers. All kinds of flowy maxidresses and flouncy skirts paired with new tank tops in buttery soft fabrics. Cover-ups and kimonos and huge airy loose knit sweaters get rung up with linen pants and shorts you actually feel comfortable wearing.

But swimsuits? A disaster. Everything that fits your hips is way too big for your ribcage. Tankinis big enough to go around your middle are about a foot too wide around your chest. You try some maternity stuff… amazingly there isn't any chest support. That confuses both of you for almost 20 minutes while you discuss it over croissants and various iced beverages (coffee for him and some kind of hot chocolate slushie for you).

Then you look across the street and inspiration hits. One of the stores you order bras from is right there and has bra-sized swimwear in the display window. Diego turns to see what stole your undivided attention from him and slaps his hand down on the table in celebration. 

You aren't sure which one of you is more excited to get into the store. But while you run around exclaiming at all the things that come in your size Diego stands in the doorway and gawks. When you circle back to check on him he just points to one display wall.

There is lacy, frilly, corseted lingerie. In. Your. Size.

He demands one of everything that fits you and isn't red, brown, or yellow. You don't even argue.

The store does alterations and makes very good recommendations. The sales clerk is impressed with Diego's input, she comments that he really does seem to know your body well. You flush with it, glad that he isn't close enough to hear that. You leave with three bags and seven personalized swim outfits under construction. One is ready to wear and you keep reaching into the bag to touch it in wonder. 

Diego notices but just gives you a raised eyebrow. 

"This is the first time I've ever felt good about how I look in swimwear." You confess quietly. 

Diego wraps a massive arm around your shoulders and tucks you into his side while you continue down the sidewalk. 

--------------------

Sunday is a mess as you try to make pancakes and Diego tries to remain physically attached to you like an excessively attractive barnacle. The pancakes are either burnt or still batter in the middle. Leftover carnitas and tortillas to the rescue. Diego teases you about the kitchen failure all day because this is the first time he has witnessed such a thing.

You doze on the couch under the pretense of "reading". Diego rotates through his laptop, cell, and the soccer match on ESPN+. 

Until his phone rings. 

You both tense up. Only one person calls him instead of texting. He takes the phone into the office to answer his sister. You wait on the couch to see which Diego you get back: silly tickle fight Diego,  sad puppy dog eyes Diego that requires cuddles, or  angry Diego that needs to fuck you through the nearest horizontal surface. 

The elevator dings and Julio comes in with a tray of coffees. "Ay, Gordita. Buenas tardes. I got you the hibiscus thing you like." He greets you with a big smile, then looks around when he doesn't see Diego on the sectional with you.

Hopping up to help him carry stuff, you point to the office in indication of Diego's location. Julio makes a face, "Hermana perra?" and you simply nod. Julio takes Diego's iced coffee and bites the bullet for you. The door closes softly behind him.

You munch plantain chips and slurp hibiscus lemonade until they come out.  Diego just looks tired when he comes back to you on the couch, coffee in hand. You open your arms in invitation and he plops next to you with a sigh. Cuddly Diego it is.

He doesn't tell you anything and you don't ask. Everyone watches the match mindlessly. Diego snores softly in your lap while you pet his hair.

He rides to the airport with you but you forbid him from coming onto the plane with you. He is already making this harder than it has to be with his big brown eyes and clingy hands.

"Baby." You breathe into his hair while he snuggles into your neck in the backseat of the SUV. "Its only a week. We do this every week." You pet down his bicep and immediately regret it.

"I know." Diego huffs into your skin. "Why don't you just quit? Let me take care of everything." You go through this almost every week now, too. He nuzzles you, the sensation makes you reconsider his proposal. You pull his head up by a fistful of soft hair and look him in the eye. He blinks guilelessly at you.

"Number one: No. Number two: Stoppit." He laughs at your fond exasperation. "Okay. I'm gonna go. You stay on the ground."

"Fine." He whines. "But I am going to send you a dick pic the moment that plane takes off." He crosses his arms as if daring you to tell him no.

You cup his stupidly attractive face in your hands for a kiss. Okay, several kisses and 27 minutes later, you respond, "Send me one every day. Its my favorite dick." His startled laugh makes you feel very pleased with yourself.

He pulls you into his arms again to kiss you one last time. His beard scratches and you sigh into him. Finally that tongue retreats and he rests his forehead on yours. His voice is low and rough, his hands squeeze tight on your hip and thigh, "I love you, Princess."

Will that ever stop hurting? You close your eyes against the burn of tears but smile with happiness. "I love you, Diego." You pop the door handle before you open your eyes to see him watching you, jaw tense. You stick your tongue out and he breaks into a smirk. With a laugh, you slide out of SUV and walk to the plane, determined not to look back.

When you get up the stairs the pilot greets you, but his gaze shifts behind you. Turning around, you see Diego standing outside the SUV, arms crossed and trying to look so not soft. You smile and mouth Bye baby, he gives you a short little wave. You duck into the plane before you can start crying.

The wheels are not, in fact, off the ground when the phone chirps.

‐-----------------------

The trip is a few weeks out and there is some kind of emergency at the San Diego docks the next weekend. So. You don't get your Murder Panther fix. 

And your coworkers notice. They spend all day Monday strolling past your cubicle, straining their necks to see if you're wearing new shoes or some fresh bling. Finally someone has the nerve to ask how your weekend was. 

You find yourself blinking back tears. I miss him so much. This is ridiculous, he just texted you at like six this morning. But its not just the conversation you miss, now is it? You miss that big body crowding you into the corner of the couch. His soft curls under your hands. That beard on literally any inch of your skin. Draping yourself over shoulders wider than your hips and knowing that not only can he take your weight, he likes it.

He says he wants to keep you and you desperately want to keep him. Why do you fear this? Is it just his profession? The risk? Oh god, how do you even go about introducing him to your parents??? Diego can be all kinds of charming but he can be a real asshole, too.

And they know what he is: A criminal.  For your boomer parents he is the living embodiment of Public Enemy Number One. 

Grand Theft. 

Money Laundering.

Arson.

Murder.

International Cocaine Trafficking. 

HE IS A LITERAL DRUG LORD.

You lay your head down on your desk and try to keep it together. 

Your Diego Cell chirps.

Your laughter bubbles up until it comes out of you without your consent. It turns hysterical and you realize you need to leave the office suite. Now. 

In the bathroom you stare down at the phone as it lights up again with another message.

Miss my Princess💔👑

How? How is someone who can do all those illegal things so nauseatingly sweet to me?

And then it hits you. Illegal. You didn't use the word immoral. Illegal. You think back to how everyone you see working directly for him is well into adulthood. No children. There are a few women but they are not being sold by him, they are there by their own free will. And he has never laid a hand on any of them, they're just as comfortable around him as the men are. No sex trafficking.  You saw someone give their resignation last month. The dude walked away with a suitcase of cash for a decade of trustworthy service. Its a better retirement plan than what I have. 

Have you seen him assault people? Yes. You've seen him stab people. Carve off someone's ear because they weren't listening as assigned and it cost the Jimenez Cartel a shipment. You've seen him push an informant down an empty elevator shaft. Choke a man into unconsciousness with his bare hands when you were disrespected. 

And you still love him. Not a single one of those incidents weighs on your conscience. Your morality is a dingy grey 12 year old men's undershirt that you should just throw away but you're definitely going to cut into rags to keep for cleaning when it comes to Diego. 

The cell lights up again.

Mi amor 💞😍🍑🏝✈⏲👙

You don't know what's worse: His excessive and ridiculous usage of emojis or the fact that you understood. 

Look what came

The attached pic is a few pieces of your new swimwear. They look gorgeous, you can't even tell where the alterations were done.

You have to try on all of them. And show me

Of course he wants his own personal show. You feel desire burning low in your belly. Its been a year and not once has he ever shied away from your stomach rolls or hinted at weight loss. He never questions the food you order. And while the two of you have chuckled about shapewear he has never mocked you for using it. Or seemed disappointed when you opted not to wear it. He tosses you around like its nothing and prefers for you to sleep on top of him. Its not that he loves you despite your weight, he loves it as part of you.

-------------------------

Its now Thursday and the desk drawer where you keep your purse at work is vibrating. He knows I'm at work. If he calls right back I'll answer him. You try to keep your Diego Cell out of sight at work or you'll never get anything done. Plus your coworkers are always dying to catch a peek of your infamous sugar daddy/boyfriend.

Yeah. Boyfriend. Keep practicing that. It feels good. 

You finish the insurance call and hang up your headset when the vibrating starts again. Your next door cubicle neighbor pops around the divider to advise you to answer that before he comes down here and abducts you.

What deity should I pray to for that??

You snatch Diego Cell and march out to the hall. Poking the green button, you answer the call.

"Baby. You okay?"

"Princess! I… yeah. I'm not hurt."

He sounds odd. There is definitely something going on here.

"What's up? You need me?"

The silence stretches. 

"Yes. Please?"

Diego sounds very uncomfortable. It causes you physical pain.

"Well, you have me. What is it?"

You can hear him swallow and in your mind you picture him looking away, hiding some soft emotion shining in his eyes.

"Baby?"

"Here. I am here. I just. I just wanted to hear you."

Something is very wrong with my Murder Panther, you think.

"Babe," your voice is soft, you're trying to ease him. "Can you tell me what's wrong?"

He huffs and you can hear him scrape a hand down over his face. "I know you are at work. And I should not have called. But."

His voice trembles, even over the phone you can hear it. He's afraid.

"Diego. If you need me, then you have me. Tell me, baby." You try to be reassuring but you also really need to know what is wrong.

"I would like to come down there." His declaration is overly formal. You wonder who he is trying to impress. Its certainly not me.

"You… want to come down here instead of me going up there this weekend?"  You're trying to make sense out of any part of this conversation. 

"I…. grrrrrrrrr."  He growls in frustration. Between English being his second language and your sensory processing issues, this is not an uncommon occurrence. He sucks in a deep breath and charges forward in an emotional rush. "I know you're working, but I want to come down there because I miss seeing your face." Before you have a chance to answer he adds, "Pick me up? At the airport, after work? Please, Bicki." His voice cracks at the end and his inhalation is ragged. Your heart implodes. 

"Diego. Baby. Of course. Of course I will. I can be there by six." You have a mental flash of how dirty your bathroom is, all the clothes you have laying around, and the vacuum you haven't touched in over a month. Diego needing me is more important.

"Good. Good. Yes, I. I will text you. When I land." His voice is raspier than ever, low and gravelly. 

"Sure. I'll be there." I'll always be there.

"Okay. You… you should go." You can hear his determination. You can visualize him squaring his shoulders and setting his jaw, taking on the Jimenez Cartel persona. 

"Hey." He grunts in acknowledgement. "I love you." You blurt it out before you have a chance to talk yourself round in circles. You can hear voices in the background. 

"And you. You as well." The call ends, but you know.

---------------

You're sitting in your car at the little regional airport second guessing the coffee you got when the phone chirps. 

Here

Springing out of the car, you wave to the security guard as you trot past. "Hey Jim, I just have to grab someone real quick. That's okay, right?" You wave vaguely back toward your car parked in the fire lane. There are only four security guards who work here and they all know you at this point. 

Jim laughs but waves you on. "Go get 'im, sweetie." Jim must be pushing 90 by now, he doesn't care about traffic laws.

You enter one of the two sets of automatic doors on this entire building and cross through the tiny lobby. There. You can see his dark hair and ridiculous shoulders over a completely unnecessary row of potted plants. He must hear your echoing footsteps because his head whips around in alarm, but his face relaxes into a wide smile. He lengthens his strides to come around the stupid plants, hands automatically reaching out for you.

"Diego." You laugh breathily and fling arms around his neck. He smells so good. 

He crushes you to his chest and buries his face in your neck. "Printhesss." He murmurs into you, slurred because he refuses to remove his mouth from your skin. 

Turning your head to kiss his cheek, you moan shamelessly for him. He surges back upward to capture your lips and kiss you with mild desperation. That devious tongue sweeps over the roof of your mouth before curling up behind your top front teeth. 

Your entire world narrows down to Diego. Chocolate. Tastes like the smoothest Belgian chocolate in existence. He smells perfect, clean but definitively male to you. His silky button-down is smooth under your hands, stretched taut over muscle. Those massive hands gather you closer, molding you to that big, solid body. His beard scratches your face in soft tickles when he alters the angle of the kiss just so.

"Goddamn." A woman's voice exclaiming somewhere behind you catapults you back into the here and now. Which is a dinky little regional airport in rural central Pennsylvania. You know, a very public location in a very prudish area of the country. Fuck.

You pull back and Diego's hands shoot up to the back of your head. Holding you in place, he leans his forehead against yours with a contented sigh. He rumbles softly to you, "Take me home."

You feel so silly seeing Diego in the passenger seat of your Corolla, he just seems so out of place. "You can adjust the seat however, nobody really sits there. I just put it all the way back to make sure you can get in without cracking your head." You sound nervous even to your own ears.

Diego turns to you with a response but his attention is captured by the cup holders in the center console, specifically the Dunkin Donuts styrofoam cup. He points to it, then looks up at you with a slow grin. "Princess. Is this for me?"

You flush but can't stop the embarrassed little smile so you cover it with sass, "Well, it sure as hell ain't for me." You start the car and give Jim a little wave. He winks and gives you two thumbs up. Yeah, I'm aware that you saw that kiss too, old man. Everyone saw that shit.

When Diego reaches for the coffee his fingers brush your hip. The contact burns and you suddenly remember that you have not touched this beautiful man for well over two weeks. Apparently he remembers, too, because he wraps that huge hand around your thigh with rather a lot of force. Right hand slapping down to cover his, your heart rate jumps through the roof. Did I take my blood pressure pill this morning?

"Don't." You choke out.

He rumbles softly next to you, purring with conceited pleasure. "Did my Princess miss Diego?" He asks you with an incredibly pornographic voice. 

"Oh, fuck you." Your answering groan is also obscene. So glad the windows are up.

His hoarse chuckle makes your thighs tremble. "You're Diego's good little girl, you will." He's right and you both know it. You would ride him right here in your own damn car if he demanded it. You have a problem.

He lets you redirect his hand to the coffee with only a little resistance. "Focus." You hiss.

"Me or you?" Diego quips.

"Yes." You declare.

Diego's guffaw is contagious and you don't even try to hold back.

Your apartment always seems like an adequate size until Diego is inside. No, bad Bicki. Do not say it like that. His presence just sort of… lounges about in a vaguely threatening but highly attractive manner. Much like the actual man on your couch. You tried to pick up dinner on the way but he just wanted to 'go home'. You are disgustingly happy that your place feels like home to him.

Diego had flopped on your couch immediately and hasn't moved since. Something is very definitely very wrong. There were bursts of your Murder Panther in the car, but he has been just subdued overall. He had turned your stereo up and smiled faintly, watching you sing along. He had also complained that the stereo in your car sucked (Agreed) and this was unacceptable. You're sure he'll do something ridiculously extravagant to remedy this.

You try to give him the remote, he takes it but doesn't do anything with it. You offer him food, both junk and something home-cooked, all you get is a shrug. You putter around for a while, picking things up and sighing before putting them down somewhere else. His dark eyes watch you, unfathomable. 

Finally you disappear to the bedroom only to return in your pajamas. This he likes, perking up and blinking rapidly. "Okay, I know you brought something softer than those jeans, so get comfy so I can order shitty pizza and cuddle you."

His jaw drops in momentary shock. Then he scoffs, "I do not cu--"

You cut him off, "Yes, you do and yes, you're going to. Up. Now." This has to be hilarious. This short little woman in overly long pants barking orders at the massive man who heads an international drug cartel. Well, its either hilarious or fatal. I'm about to find out.

Diego looks around, as if someone else might secretly be here to witness him be a little bit submissive and moderately soft. He raises his chin in a tiny show of defiance. "Fine. But I am showering first." He glares with this proclamation, daring you to contradict him.

You throw your hands up in the air. Why the fuck would I have a problem with that?? His eyes follow your hands, like a cat when you try to point out a bit of food but all it does is rub your finger. You sigh, resigned to your fate. "Of course that's fine, Diego. You know where everything is, have at it."

You watch his butt as he walks away to the bathroom. 

The pizza actually isn't shitty and Diego eats half of it by himself. When you offer him the cinnamon dessert sticks he shoots you a calculating look. You split the contents, pulling two sticks over to yourself and piling up the rest in front of him. His delighted grin is decidedly not calculated and you lose track of time watching him enjoy dessert.

He's beautiful like this. He wears a soft, silky t-shirt that is tight enough to help you get through the nights you spend alone. His hair is a riot of fluffy curls, free of product and clearly trying to break free of gravity, too. He hasn't shaved for at least a few days and that salt and pepper beard is filling in nicely. His face is unguarded, expression open, those laugh lines and dimples you love make frequent appearances.

After dinner you lay all over each other in some weird we-have-intimacy-issues approximation of cuddling. It works so you don't question it. He has his laptop and you have your tablet and together you have sporadic conversation. Its comfortable. 

Until Diego asks you a seemingly innocuous question that you know is very nefarious:

"What color do you like in cars?"

Your eyes narrow so much that you have trouble seeing. "...Why." Your low tone might be frightening to anyone else.

He looks at you over the laptop screen, brown eyes innocently wide. "Just curious. Your car is green. Do you like any other colors?" He slowly pulls the laptop closer to himself to subtly cover the screen with his bulk. 

"Diego." You slowly put down your tablet and start leaning toward him. He has nowhere to go, propped up in the corner of the chaise end of the sofa. "What. Are. You. Doing." 

"Will you let me take care of you? Just in this one way right now?" He licks his lips, brow furrowed in concentration. Building desperation shows in his eyes and you can't fight that. You don't want to win this.

"Let me see, baby." Your sighed acquiescence has an instantaneous effect. Diego drops the tension from his shoulders and opens an arm to you in invitation. You crawl up him to cuddle into his chest, wedged on your side between all those muscles and the back of the sectional. From here you are stationed directly in front of the laptop screen.

He is looking at cars. 

Armored cars. 

Armored, bulletproof, explosive resistant cars. 

What. The. Fuck.

"Diego, what the fuck is going on?!?" Your apprehensive demand sets him right back on edge. You can feel him go tense underneath you. The laptop gets shoved onto an empty cushion as you throw yourself over him. Tiny hands land on those broad shoulders with extreme force as you use all of your deadweight to trap him. Below you, Diego shakes but you can't tell if its from anger or anxiety because his eyes are scrunched closed tightly. "Tell me why I need a fucking bulletproof car!"

He surges up into your face to match your volume, "She knows! Mi hermana perra knows about you! Alicia found out about us!" You lurch back in shock, but the steel hands on your hips stop you from retreating. His voice is hoarse, louder than you've ever heard him, and its terrifying. Your fear must show because he releases his grip on you like it burns. 

"WHAT?" The ramifications here could truly be lethal. Alicia has already tried to set Diego up to take the fall when they were arrested almost four months ago. You know she has scorned Diego's familiarity with his men in the past, that is why he handpicks them personally. To Alicia, everyone is disposable, even her own brother. Her only loyalty is to herself.

Diego's hands come up in an aborted reach for you. You're still too shocked to move. His face crumbles in agony and he blinks furiously, hands balling into fists. "Everything I have ever wanted she has ensured I never got. She, she manipulates me into destroying everything I touch. I will not let her hurt you! I refuse to allow her to break us, mi amor!!" His volume has steadily escalated until he is yelling. 

He's afraid. He is afraid that he will lose me. The realization emboldens you enough to take his hands in your own, bring them to your chest, and press them close to your heart. You trust that he won't hurt you in his rage. You don't fear him, this dangerous, powerful, ruthless man that you love.

His hands open to slide up your shoulders, curl around your neck, and his thumbs glide over the pulse point under your ears. He brings your face to his own, his expression twisted up with fear and anger and possession and love. 

"You are mine! And I will keep you!"

You realize everything that you have been debating with yourself, all of your pro versus con lists, your stupid little dry erase board covered in sticky notes with your fears, your scribbled timeline of events and possible future predictions, none of it matters. All you care about is the man in your arms. Diego is the most important thing in your life and you can't imagine a life without him. If you had to give up everything to keep him, you would do it in a heartbeat. 

Your hands grip tightly around his wrists and you consciously straighten your spine. Expression hardening, your eyes open to meet his anguished gaze.

 "I want black."

The armored 2020 Camry is delivered that Sunday. You thank him for finding something inconspicuous with an upgraded JBL sound system and he compliments your understated color choice of Black Sand Metallic. By the time you drop him off at the airport that evening you've managed to replace the new car smell with something better and you're thankful that the leather seats just wipe clean. Monday morning in the parking lot at work, however, is a literal ordeal.

---------------------

The next two weeks feel like they’re seven months long. You clock out at noon on Thursday to a chorus of your coworkers making vaguely lewd remarks and howling with laughter about your vacation. 'Two whole weeks on a beach in Mexico with an absolutely loaded hottie' is what they've been repeating gleefully all week. 

You turn around and walk backwards to give them finger guns, "Yes," then you reach down to adjust your pants, "And YES." Their squeals are contagious and you're still laughing when you burst out the front doors to drive home. 

You turn the volume waaaay too high in the car so that your teeth vibrate and it feels like you're having heart palpitations. I love this fucking car and I love that man. 

There is a rental Tahoe parked in the grass next to the huge gravel driveway at your farmhouse, but he left the second assigned parking space next to your Corolla open so you can park The Beast (as you have affectionately named your new ride) appropriately while away. When you get out of the car you glance up instinctively, Diego is standing outside your front door on the small third floor balcony laughing. 

"Are you deaf yet, Princess?" He hollers down in amusement. 

You flip him off with the middle finger that wears the gemstone ring he gave you while yelling back, "WHAAAAT??"

His laughter fades as he disappears inside, leaving the door wide open to let out all the cold air. Were you raised in a barn?? Close the door, the electric bill-- You cut off your own thoughts when you suddenly remember that you haven't been paying that electric bill for the last six months. Nevermind.

Before you can start up the stairs, Sara, your first floor neighbor, appears on the porch with their toddler. "Hey stranger!" Sara waves with a big smile and the kid does the same but with some kind of unidentifiable kitchen utensil in hand. "That is your boyfriend, right? He had a key so I didn't think it was your ex but I wanted to make sure. I mean, from what I just saw it is your boyfriend. Also, holy shit, that's your boyfriend?"

If she says the word 'boyfriend' one more time I'm going to spontaneously combust. 

"Uh yeah, definitely not my ex. Sorry, I forget that you guys haven't really seen him before, I meant to tell you he was coming." You can feel your face burning and it isn't from the August sun. Sara fans her own face with a hand while mouthing 'he's hot' like you're somehow unaware. You forge on before she can start gushing aloud. "We're actually leaving on a trip tonight so I'll be gone for the next two weeks."

Now Sara drops the kid and scrambles over to whisper fiercely to you, "Oh my god, seriously? Where are you going? Wait, this is the same guy you've been going to see in New York, right? How long has it been, like a year? Is he taking you on a trip for your anniversary? I don't even know his name. Oh my god, that is so sweet!"

Okay, down girl. You're not sure who you're trying to will into being chill, Sara or yourself. 

"Um, we're going to Mexico. And yeah, he's the guy in New York. It's just a vacation." You don't even touch the relationship questions with a ten foot pole. You glance up but Diego is still inside, Thank fuck. 

Sara hops a little in excitement. "I'm sooo jealous!" She squeals. "You have to take a ton of pictures! I need to see! Oh my god, I bet you guys are such a cute couple!" You nod and start backing away, trying to wave goodbye so you can climb the stairs and then climb Diego. "Ooh ooh, wait, what's his name?" Sara hisses conspiratorially. "Does he speak Mexican? Is he Mexican!?!"

You suddenly remember why you tried to move away from this area. Repeatedly. "Yeah, he's Mexican and yes, he speaks Spanish." You sigh. Sara nods but continues staring at you expectantly. Fine. "His name is Diego."

Sara makes a stupid face like this is a rom-com movie. I cannot take anymore, you must shut the fuck up. "Okay, okay. I won't hold you up. But seriously, we can have a 'pics and wine' girls' night when you come back!" She waves maniacally before snatching up the kid and skipping back inside. 

I can't think of anything I would like less. Oh hell no.

You climb the stairs in record time before she can come back outside and start talking again.

Bastian, Julio, and a third man you don't know are in your living room. You do not care and your vague wave shows it. You can hear Julio's warm 'Gordita!' greeting as you spin around and march to the bedroom.

Diego is standing at your bed, tucking TMP into your small duffel, when you burst through the doorway and continue at full speed directly into him. He laughs breathlessly but holds steady against your weight. "Princess. Are you ready?"

You take overflowing fistfuls of his shirt, bury your face in his chest, suck in a huge lungful of air, and shriek at full volume.

"Uhhh...that is a yes, si?" He mutters uncertainly above you. 

You rear back to look up at him with a smile so wide it hurts.

"Oh good." His hands come to your shoulders while those beautiful brown eyes sparkle. The dimples and laugh lines come out as he absorbs your infectious excitement. Your hands shoot up to his hair to yank him down so you can crash your mouths together with bruising force.

The effect is immediate. He moans loudly and crushes you against him. You dig nails into his neck and you lick your way into his mouth, his hands snake down to your ass to hold tight. Your left leg comes up as you try to wrap it around his hips. With a pained groan he rips those lips off of yours and pulls back. Undeterred, you move on to assaulting his now bared throat, moaning like porn come to life.

"Princess," he gasps, "You have to sto-- uhhh, yes, bonita. Your fucking tongue." You're too busy licking his adam's apple to pay attention to words right now. "Nooo, mi amor, please, lo siento, stopstopstop." You get in one last nip of his collarbone as he pulls your head back via a handful of ringlets. His pupils are blown wide and he's panting hard. You stare longingly at his delectable mouth while making pitiful whines.

"Please, baby, pleeeease. You're all I've thought about for days. I need you!" You try shameless begging, you're certainly not lying. Petting over his shoulders and down that solidly muscled chest, you shudder and try to pull yourself back to him.

He closes his eyes with a grimace. "Flight! Fuck you on the flight!" He croaks, then yanks your hair harder than you like. The pain clears the fog just enough for you to blink back to awareness. You nod jerkily and step back. "Have to leave now to get there before dark." He explains in a rushed huff. You blink as you remember how time works.

"Right. Yeah, right. Okay. Okay." Straightening to attention you yank off the cardigan you wore for the air conditioning at work, leaving you in a tank top and ready to be productive. Focus on not-dick.

Diego shoves your favorite notepad in your face so you can see your packing list and not him. The distraction works. He has checked off every item in each categorized list but left the strike through action for your completion. You lower the notepad until you can make eye contact with him and intensely whisper, "You know I fuckin' love you, right?"  

He laughs so hard he has to sit down on the bed.

You go through every bag, touching each item and crossing it off your list one at a time. He did it. Everything but you.

"You know I don't need TMP, right?"

"Why?" He squints up at you from where he lounges across your bed. 

Your face heats up and you clear your throat. "Well, its, I'm. I have, uh, you. So I don't need anything else." The realization of how true that is in every sense gives both of you pause.

Diego surges upright to cup your face and bonk your foreheads together just a little too hard. You giggle and he huffs. 

"Mi amor…" he sighs for you, eyes closing in pleasure. You 'mmmmm' in response. Then his eyes snap open and he growls an order, "Get changed so we can go!" And punctuates it with a stinging slap to your ass.

----------------------------

You spend the flight with your face pressed to the window, vibrating in excitement, except for a brief intermission of seven orgasms in the bathroom.

The unknown third man is Joey, Bastian's boyfriend. Joey is even quieter than Bastian and just as cute. They're not overly demonstrative but clearly comfortable moving around each other. Joey works in "Packaging" and does an admirable job of ignoring his cartel drug lord boss being snuggly. Julio naps. 

The customs agent at the Cancun airport looks you up and down with wide eyes but stamps your passport with no questions. Its a five hour drive to Xcalak but Diego is adamant it can be done in three. You give him an eyebrow question which he dismisses with a vague wave, "They paved the road all the way to the southern border last year."

Uhh, they what now? You understand soon enough. The drive drastically changes outside of Cancun. The scenery is both beautiful and heartbreaking. There are occasional mansions with armed guards, high fences, and SUVs like your own current ride. Mostly though, its shacks and people on foot or riding bicycles, weaving to avoid stray dogs and huge iguanas. Could I handle this as my daily reality?

The first time the road sidles right up to the ocean you have a small meltdown.

 "Is that what I think it is?" Your soft whisper is accompanied by a shaking hand pointing to the left. Diego, crammed into the middle of the backseat between yourself and Julio so you could have an unobstructed view, indicates an order for Bastian to pull over. He reaches across you and pops open your door. You slide out with his hand on your lower back and take about a dozen steps to the lapping water. Diego appears to your right, watching you intently.

 "Its gre-e-e-en!" Your stuttering squeal is accompanied by happy tears and you fling yourself into Diego with joy. He laughs at you, but hugs you back just as tightly.

----------------------------

The first week passes in a blur of amazing food, warm green sea, fruity drinks, and shirtless wet Diego. And so many orgasms that you can't keep count. Diego is all over you non-stop, more than he ever has been before (Astonishingly). Its incredible and you feel like the only person in the world. If he's not molesting you then he is at least touching you; keeping you in his lap, holding your hand, cuddling and petting and snuggling like a man obsessed. 

You love it. You love him. You love this life.

On Saturday he lets you lead him through the tiny town, your Spanish improving by leaps and bounds as you try to navigate the streets and alleys and shops. The four years of high school Spanish actually prove useful as you manage to complete a purchase all by yourself. Your playful mock smugness evaporates under the blazing desire in his eyes. 

He drags you back to the casita in a much shorter and more direct route than you took upon earlier departure. You're marched directly to the bed and he puts one massive hand in the middle of your chest to gently push you down onto your back. There is something different about this, something important in his eyes. Your voice is high and soft, "Diego?"

He climbs up between your legs and leans down to kiss you senseless. It goes on forever; soft lips, scratchy beard, silky tongue, and nothing but the taste of Diego. Your moans and sighs are mixed together, there are moments when you can't tell who is making what noise. His hands are shaking as he strokes every inch of newly bared and sunburnt sensitive skin while undressing you. 

It takes repeated attempts, but you finally get him naked, too. The sight never fails to take your breath away. All that soft, and now freshly tanned, skin is like velvet to your touch. You're mesmerized by his muscles flexing and then evening out as he moves above you. He finally gets your linen pants untangled off your left foot and flings them across the room with unnecessary force. Your soft peals of laughter light up his face and it brings tears to your eyes. You reach a hand out to him, "Diego. Baby."

He comes up over you, threading fingers into your hair, kissing you slowly and thoroughly. You can feel him against you, fire hot and mouth wateringly hard, but he makes no move to take you. Your eyes open in hazy confusion as the kiss ends. Diego is watching your face, blinking back tears. 

He is holding your head still, hands like steel. Whatever this is, he needs it. And you want to give him everything he needs. Forever.

You're captured by his eyes, bottomless, soulful, and hungry. His raspy voice is soft and trembling with desire. "I love you, Bicki. I want everything. Forever, Princess?" 

Your chest compresses and your heart implodes. Scalding tears escape when you blink and you're nodding before you even know it. "Yes, Diego. Yes, baby, I'm yours." 

Your back arches off the bed as he comes home and brings you with him.

-----------------------

You wake up crushed under Diego. The sun is still up so you might be able to talk him into going out for dinner. You rub your cheek on the huge bicep doubling as your pillow and Diego sighs directly into your ear from where he is spooned up behind you. Oh yeah, we should have done this waaaay sooner.

He nuzzles your neck just to incite squirmy giggles and you don't even fight it. "I have something for you, Princess. Stay here." He pulls away and you whine about the loss of your pillow. His low chuckle burns you alive with want. "Stay like that. Do not move." You obey while you listen to him rummage around behind you.

He comes around to your side of the bed, still completely and unabashedly nude. Hell. Fucking. Yes. You love it. He hands your glasses over and you slide them on to take in the now high definition view of naked Murder Panther. The view disappears as he kneels down next to the bed so you're on eye level. His expression is very peculiar. 

His hands slowly come up to reveal a small box of black velvet. Time slows to a halt as he opens the box and presents it to you. 

Inside is a ring. Gleaming in platinum and sparkling with three tastefully large princess cut diamonds. 

Its an engagement ring.

Diego is proposing. 

He swallows hard and rumbles gruffly, "Now remember, you already said y--"

You cut him off with a shriek. "YES! YESYESYES!!"

In the time it takes him to blink twice with surprise you're on him. Arms around his neck, you throw yourself into his lap. He topples backwards and you ride him to the floor, already bawling hysterically. 

He stares up at you in shock as you nod furiously and cry all over him. "Princess. You… you are certain?" If this were any other time you would be howling with laughter at his huge eyes and lax jaw. 

Your answer is stuttery but determined. "Y-y-yeah. Put it-t-t-t on me already!" 

He laughs in delight at your order and the imperious presentation of your shaking left hand. The ring glides on easily, a perfect fit. It gleams up at you blindingly. After a moment of admiration you lace your fingers with his and sigh at the union. His other hand comes up to roughly brush away your tears. "I know you do not like labels so much… but, you will be my, my married... Person. Thing?" 

You stroke his bearded cheek in return, thumb lingering on that dimple. With a hard gulp you dive in head first. Fuck it.

"Yes, Diego. I will be your wife."

----------------------

The next time you wake it is dark out. You reach for a phone on the nightstand to your left and jump when you find one with a loud crack. Diego pops upright behind you, instantly on high alert. "Princess?" He hisses while covering your body with his own.

You gigglesnort, then meekly answer him, "I forgot about the ring and whacked a phone. Everything's okay, baby."

He sighs so deeply that his breath ruffles your hair. "Jesus fucking christ, woman. You are a menace."  He flops down on top of you and snuggles back into your warmth. 

You reach back with your left hand and grope blindly for his face. He licks your fingers as soon as they're in reach and you stuff them into his mouth as retaliation. He just sucks languidly. 

"Mmmmmm, I'm your menace, baby. And I have to pee." He nips your fingers but rolls over to free you. You slide out of the bed and stretch your arms high while arching your back. Diego groans painfully. "What?"

Diego rises to all fours on the bed while the sheet slithers off of him. "You forget that other people can see without glasses, huh?" You cock your head and realize that you have a shadow.

It's a full moon. And I just stretched naked in front of a sliding glass door. "Oh. Huh. I guess I do forget. Oops. I'll be sure to keep that in mind now." Your seemingly tame answer is directly contradicted by the exaggerated roll of your hips that makes your butt bounce when you walk off. 

"Fucking menace, woman." Diego growls as you push the bathroom door shut with a trill of laughter.

You never do go back to bed but you do wind up on the beach in front of the casita to watch the sunrise. Julio finds you both snuggled together late the next morning, still asleep on the covered daybed under the palms while the rising tide comes ever closer. At least Julio has the decency to cover your bare ass with a beach towel.

-----------------------------------

By the time you think to check your phone gallery you have… 1,792 pictures. WHAT THE FUCK. 

You scroll through the pics, there are a lot you do not remember taking. Was I that drunk or did Diego take some of these? One is a close up of your ass from below wearing a string bikini, I knew I wasn't that drunk. The next pic is Diego asleep on a lounge chair, one arm curled up above his head, muscles glistening in the sun, and swim trunks so low on his hips that it's almost obscene. Immediately following that is the same pic but with your own face photobombing about three inches away from the camera and giving a thumbs up with your left hand so your engagement ring is prominently visible. Oh yeah, I remember that one. 

There are videos, too. The first one is Diego making lewd comments while you twerk in the ocean for about ten seconds. Okay, that's par for the course with us. Next is you successfully backflipping off of Diego's shoulders into the green water to everyone freaking out. Shit, even I'm impressed with myself. After that is video of you gagging through a dish of octopus at some restaurant. Both of you are clearly visible in the shot so Julio must have had the phone. Betrayal. 

There are tens of dozens of the two of you in various poses and outfits, both disgustingly happy and blatantly in love. There's even a role reversal shot of Diego sprawled across your lap, one enormous arm wrapped around your neck and his knees over your own arm while you grimace and he laughs hysterically. The table to your right is covered in empty bottles and mostly finished drinks. An entire subsection depicts you asleep like you have a stalker. You count no less than 29 of you two trying on increasingly ridiculous hats in random stores.

You can't even keep count of all the close ups of a smoldering Murder Panther. You feel no guilt.  Aren't you supposed to be ridiculously attracted to your fiancé??

Fiancé.

You have a fiancé. Your fiancé is Diego. You are engaged to Diego Rafael Jimenez. 

I have to explain this ring to everyone. They'll have questions about him. People will want pictures. How do I explain what he does?? Oh my god, there's no closet here. I have to… find somewhere. And I can't I can't. Its-

Your head jerks upright when something touches your hair. Its Diego. Kneeling on the floor in front of you, he has unfurled a sheet over you to block out everything, and he waits there, watching you. Before you realize it your hands are reaching for his shoulders, just the feel of him, warm and solid under your hands, calms you. 

Slowly, his right hand comes up to cover your left. "No closet, Princess." His huge fingers grip yours tightly. You nod a little. He just watches you, eyes guarded. 

"Ask. Go ahead." You mutter. You can tell from his posture that he is uneasy, apprehensive. 

He locks eyes with you and his gaze is intense. He curls all of his fingers around your left ring finger. "Still yes?" 

The fear in his eyes breaks your heart. Your voice is shaky but determined, "No. You can't get rid of me. I'm your problem now, baby."  His expression would make a meeker woman cower in fear, you laugh weakly. 

He settles down on the tile floor in front of you, with the sheet over both of you. Its like four in the afternoon and I am sharing a blanket fort with my cartel boss fiancé while on vacation in Mexico. What even is my life? His elbows are on his knees, chin in hand. He studies you for a minute, you stare right back. He raises one eyebrow and you sigh in capitulation. 

"I don't know how to just be happy. I suck at it."  You shrug but reach for his face. Diego nuzzles into your hand while you stroke your thumb over his beard. 

"Habby isz nawt a berb." He slurs into your palm with a soft kiss.

The epiphany is like a cinder block to the brain. 

He's right. I don't have to 'do' anything. I'm happy right now. I've been happy every time I'm with him. And no one had to exert any effort.

People can define themselves. People can define their relationships. Why can't they define their own normal? I can make my own rules. Especially with someone like Diego as my partner.

His one eyebrow slowly rises as he watches your thoughts play out across your face. "You back?" He asks with a hidden smirk, you know its there from the way his eyes crinkle with laugh lines.

"Yup!" Is your decisive answer. Diego licks your palm. "I got better places you can lick, baby." You answer his smirk with a waggling eyebrow. 

The rest of the afternoon passes in a blur of play wrestling and inappropriate noises.

-----------------------

You do, in fact, go on a safari. Of sorts. Tours of ruins and jungle and cenotes, lots of side quests because the both of you are easily distracted by pretty colors. You probably added another thousand pictures of various palm trees to your gallery. The hat makes multiple appearances. 

Diego has to ship a crate home to New York because he bought you too many souvenirs. You laugh and tease him when he wants to pick out things for your middle sister and niece, until you hear his logic. 

"They were nice to me." He murmurs with a little half-shrug, "It was like being in a real family for a little bit." He studies the bins of painted shells on display in the little store with way too much focus.

You spend a moment deliberating before you decide to reach out and touch his elbow.

 "Hey," your soft voice brings his gaze your way momentarily before he goes back to ceramic turtle magnets. You take his hand with your own right and rest your left hand on his chest. Diego looks down where your ring glints in the light, then up to your face. "You know you're going to be part of that 'real' family, right?"

Diego's boyish little smile is heartbreakingly adorable. 

---------------------------------

The flight home is much shorter than you want it to be and you spend most of it asleep on Diego. At one point you wake up to see Bastian and Joey cuddled up together napping. When you look up from where your head is resting in Diego's lap he is already looking down at you with an unreadable expression.

"What?" You whisper softly. You stifle a yawn and blink repeatedly. 

Diego strokes one big hand over your hair and grips your jaw firmly. With a huge toothy grin he answers, "Mine." 

"Uh huh. How many times you need me to say yes, baby?" You smirk up at him with an arched brow. He seems to be reveling in hearing you readily admit your commitment to him.

He considers your question carefully while his other hand trails down the front of your body under a blanket. I don't remember having a blanket earlier. Finally, Diego settles on "Every day. At least seven times. Seven is a good number, right Princess?" 

Your body jerks as his fingers press between your thighs with steady determination. Your eyes flick over to Bastian and Joey, still out cold. You make a show of wiggling around to get comfortable, and, surprisingly, that involves spreading your legs. "Yessss." You hiss up at him.

Julio reclines his seat and exaggeratedly covers his face with a new hat. 

Seven is a very good number.

------------------------------------------

Your first day back to work is a circus. You don't think twice about your normal greeting as you enter the office suite. You swipe your badge with your right hand and pop the door, then wave 'hi' to everyone. Like usual. With your left hand. 

There is an excessive amount of squealing that makes you second guess going into a female dominated field. The whole day is a wash because you have a steady stream of people passing through your cubicle. You're glad you had the forethought to curate a photo album of appropriate images to show your coworkers despite Diego's repeated attempts to sneak a dick pic in there somewhere. You most definitely included the glistening swim trunks lounge chair picture. Squealing intensifies.

Everyone comments on the hat and you're forced to tell the story of the hat. How you once told Diego that you wanted to see palm trees, 'But like, in the wild.' And Diego had laughed so hard that he fell off the bed only to pop back up wheezing about a 'Palm Tree Safari' until you smacked him in the face with a pillow. Your coworkers think it is just disgustingly adorable that he never let you live that down. 

Your coworkers have questions:

When is the wedding? 

Where are you having it?

What kind of dress do you want?

What are your colors?

Are you going to do flowers?

What about the cake?

Who is your maid of honor?

How did your family take the news?

What about his family?

Are you going to New York?

Will you take his name?

Oh shit. I forgot about the whole 'wedding' part of this.

[awake-dearheart]

SOS [w.w.]

Summary: Deadpool wakes up tied to a chair in a dark room. How did he get here? What will happen? Is it a freaky sex thing? Let’s find out!

Word Count: 2200

Warnings: Language, some small violence, mentions of Deadpool wanting to fuck people. You know, Deadpool things

A/N: Every time I write for Deadpool I think “I’m never doing this again” but then I remember how fun he is so I go with it. This is technically my entry for @afictionaladventure16‘s writing challenge and I am SO FUCKING LATE I’M SORRY. But it’s silly and funny and dumb. The prompt is in bold. Wade has two voices in his head. Italics is one, bold is the other. You’ll figure them out. Thankfully @jamesbuckybarnes-anon​ is better at moodboards than I am. If you like’d to be added to my permanent taglist, just send an ask!

“Son of a mother fucking ass bandit!”

The first thing I noticed when I woke up was a blinding headache. The second thing I noticed was I couldn’t see anything. I knew the headache couldn’t be a hangover. Super healing factor meant a super inability to get drunk. I had a vague memory of getting hit by something but for the life of me, I couldn’t remember what.

Oh, God. They hit us so hard we’ve gone blind. BLIND!

Calm yourself, please. We have accelerated healing. Any such blow would have resolved itself.

Then how do you explain the vast nothingness before us?

We have a bag on our head.

….Oh.

Suddenly, my bag was ripped away and tossed aside. The room I was in wasn’t much brighter than Bagland (trademark pending), but there was a small light in the far corner. I looked around for whoever stole my bag, but there was nobody. A metallic clicking sound was coming from somewhere behind me, but my desire to investigate and poke it with a stick was impeded when I realized I was tied to a chair.

“Great, just great,” I sighed. “This is definitely going to turn into a weird sex thing.”

Why is that always the first place your mind goes, Wade?

Have you met us?

Point made.

I tugged at the restraints, but they didn’t budge. I looked around again for something to cut me loose but the room was empty, except for me and whatever was making the mysterious ticking noise.

Maybe it’s a pipe bomb!

Why would it be a pipe bomb?

It’s an old internet reference. The kids will get it.

With no tools to cut me loose, I decided to resort to an old classic: hopping. I jumped and started moving my chair towards the light. If I could make it there I might be able to find a way out. Or shatter the light bulb and cut myself free. Either way. Before I could hop any more, a giant metal claw came out of the darkness and grabbed my head, slamming me into the ground.

“Well hello to you too, sunshine.”

“I’m glad to see that blow to the head hasn’t damaged your famous wit, Mr. Wilson.” As I laid on the floor, face smushed under Cable’s wildest fantasy, a shape emerged from the darkness. Giant metal tentacles stepped over me, carrying a short, dark-haired man.

Please be Alfred Molina. Please be Alfred Molina.

Hardly the time.

“Allow me to introduce myself,” he said. “My name is Dr. Otto Octavious.” He spoke with an accent that could make panties drop, but had a face that would bring them right back up.

“Let me guess, your friends call you Doc Ock?”

We are killing it with these references today.

Yes, even I must, as the youths say, give props.

We’re gonna work on that.

The doctor removed his claw from my face and used it to right my chair again. I shook my head and got my bearings back.

“The hospitality here is next level,” I said. “Really. Better than the Marriott in Time’s Square.”

“Charming, Mr. Wilson,” Otto drawled.

“I try to be. So, mind telling me what this is all about? If you’re after a ransom I have like $4 and a couple kilos of coke, but you’re gonna have to fight a blind old lady for the coke. And she’s a biter.” A door behind me opened and I heard several people enter.

“Ah, just in time,” Otto said. Five men joined the doctor in front of me and stared me down like a Backstreet Boys album cover.

“Meet the Sinister Six,” he said, pointing out each team member as he introduced them. “Maxwell Dillon, also called Electro. Sergei Kravinoff, known as Kraven the Hunter. Quentin Beck, aka Mysterio. Flint Marko, or Sandman. And Adrian Toomes, the Vulture.” I took my time regarding the men in front of me. Each of them had perfectly themed costumes and were looking at me like they wanted to rip me in half.

“Points for the original lineup but the team the game put together was way cooler,” I said. Mysterio took the giant fishbowl off his head and turned to Otto.

“What the hell is he talking about?”

“Pay him no mind, Mr. Beck,” Otto said, waving him off.

“I loved you in Bubble Boy,” I said simply.

“Mr. Wilson,” Doc interrupted. “It’s come to our attention that you are in possession of some very valuable information. And you’re going to give it to us.”

“And what information would that be, Octopussy?”

Wade, please do not antagonize them. Even with our accelerated healing, they could make things quite troublesome.

CALL HIM A PUSSY AGAIN!

“I have it on good authority that you’ve managed to infiltrate the Avenger’s tower not once, but twice.” The doctor stalked forward on his metal legs, bringing himself down to face me. “You’re going to tell me how we can get in undetected.”

“You’ll have to take that up with the author. By the time I gain consciousness I’m usually already inside.” Sparks shot from Electro’s fingertips as he stepped forward.

“Want me to loosen his lips?” he asked.

“That won’t be necessary, Mr. Dillon,” Otto said. He clickety-clacked behind me and came back with some kind of collar.

Here comes the weird sex stuff. I knew it.

I highly doubt that.

Otto moved over me and clamped a metal claw onto my thigh, shattering my femur.

“Mother fucker!” I groaned and rolled my head back, but as soon as he let go I felt my bone shifting back into place. “Is that all you’ve got? Some kidnappers you are.” The words had no sooner left my mouth when I felt the collar being fitted around my neck. The second it locked into place, my leg stopped healing. No more popping and shifting of bone, no more closing of surface wounds, nothing.

This is bad, big dog.

I agree, Wade. Without our healing factor we are in grave danger.

“A power dampening collar,” Octavious said. “Courtesy of our friends at The Raft.” He leaned in close again, this time so close I could smell his lunch. It was beef stroganoff.

“Here is what’s going to happen,” he threatened. “I’m going to leave the collar on you and let my team go to work. They will break every part of you. Every bone will shatter. Every inch of you will bruise. You will feel pain unlike you’ve ever known before. They will take you to the precipice of oblivion, and you will stare Death himself in the face. And just as he reaches up his cold hand to drag you down, I will remove the collar and allow your abilities to heal you. Then we will start all over again. Unless you tell me what I want to know.”

Holy fuck. I think I just shit our pants a little.

“Her,” I replied simply. Otto blinked and stared at me.

“What?”

“Death. She’s a her. And she’s super hot.” The doctor sighed and moved away. As he did, I wiggled my fingers into my sleeve, trying to find the little clicker I’d stashed for just such an emergency. As the doctor faded into the background, I found it and clicked it rapidly.

Time for Plan B.

Did we even have a Plan A?

“You may begin,” the doctor said, and the Sinister Six descended. Kraven took the lead, throwing punch after punch across my jaw. When he was done, Electro surged a shock through me, sending me into convulsions. Sandman stepped forward and I saw his fist transform into a giant sand hammer.

“Oh Thor wishes he-UGH!” He slammed it into my side and I felt three of my ribs break. The five men took turns working me over until my eyes were too swollen to see who was hitting me.

Hang on, Wade. They’re coming.

I hope they do. Even I’m having a hard time coming up with something funny.

They will. It’s what they do.

But boy did they take their sweet ass time.

By the time Otto took the collar off, I probably had over a dozen broken bones, several missing teeth, a mild to moderate concussion, and a raging case of terminal cancer kicking the absolute shit out of me. The second the collar came off, the air was filled with the pops and cracks of my bones realigning and starting to heal. I could feel new teeth filling the gaps in my mouth, and let me tell you, it felt really weird.

“Feel like talking, Mr. Wilson?” Otto asked.

“Well,” I started. “When I was six my dad left and I had this creepy uncle who used to babysit. I always got this really weird vibe off him.”

“I’m really gonna enjoy killing this guy,” Toomes said. From somewhere nearby, I could hear a faint whining sound.

Methinks the cavalry approaches.

I’d recommend ducking, Wade.

“You guys are about to get fucked up,” I laughed. Right on cue, a giant repulsor blast knocked a hole in the wall.

“Someone order Postmates?” Tony quipped, flying into the room. Otto growled and swung a tentacle at the other Avengers who were rushing in behind him. Someone shot something very explodey next to me, and it toppled me to the ground. I landed facedown, still somehow bound to the chair.

“Oh, come on. This is bull shit!”

I wonder if this is just so the author doesn’t have to write another fight scene.

SHUT UP SHE’LL HEAR YOU!

I stared helplessly at the floor as the fight went on around me. It sounded really cool. I bet it looked really cool. Sure wish I knew what was going on. After a few minutes, the sounds of fighting died down and someone was hauling me upright. Once I was finally free I turned and looked into the beautiful blue eyes of Steve Rogers.

“Well, hello gorgeous,” I said with a smirk.

“Wade?” he asked. I wasn’t sure if he was surprised to see me or just dealing with the shock of seeing my unmasked face for the first time.

“You have got to be fucking kidding me!” Tony screamed from across the room. “You’re the distress call?” I stood up with a stretch and waved at him.

“Hey, Tony!” From behind him, Peter popped into view and waved back.

“Hi, Mr. Wilson!”

“Hi, Angel!” I called back.

“Did he just call Peter ‘Angel’?” someone asked. Over Cap’s shoulder, I spotted the god damn Winter Soldier.

I’m not sure who’s prettier: him or Steve.

Objectively they’re both quite attractive.

I wonder if they’d be into an all-male threesome.

“Yeah, he does that,” Steve answered his best friend. “Wade, how did you get one of our SOS beacons?”

“A little kitty grabbed it for me,” I shrugged. “Cost me an arm and a nut, but Felicia’s worth every penny.” Bucky chuckled and holstered the weapon in his metal hand.

“That’s my girl,” he mumbled.

“Your girl needs to stop stealing my shit,” Tony snapped, marching over and snatching the beacon from my hand. “Give me that. Members only!” He turned and headed for the door.

“Where are you going?” Steve asked.

“Home!” Tony yelled without turning around. “Can’t believe we wasted our time on this moron…” With that, he fired up his boosters and flew away.

“One day he’ll warm up to me,” I sighed.

“I wouldn’t count on it,” Bucky said. “We haven’t met yet. I’m Bucky.” He held out a hand for me to shake and as I did, I found myself completely lost in his eyes.

Forget the threesome. We have to marry him.

He just said he’s in a relationship.

Minor inconvenience. He must be ours.

While the battle raged in my head, I realized I was still shaking his hand with both of mine. And I was staring at him. Intensely.

“I’m gonna let go of you now,” I said.

“I would be okay with that,” he replied. I dropped his hand and stepped back to examine the unconscious bodies littered around the room.

“Wow, you guys really don’t fuck around do you?”

“The distress call went off like fifty times in a row so we figured it was bad,” Peter explained. “Next time, if you just hit it once it’ll keep going off til we respond.”

“Peter, you’re a precious angel and we don’t deserve you,” I sighed. He looked down and even though I couldn’t see his face, I knew he was blushing.

“I’m glad we saved him,” Peter said. Suddenly, Tony came flying back through the hole in the wall and grabbed Peter by the arm, dragging him out.

“Bye, Mr. Wade!” he yelled as he vanished.

“What a nice kid,” I mused. Both Steve and Bucky chuckled, and the latter nodded his head toward the door. “Come on. We’ll show you the way out. Oh, and I found this.” He held out his metal arm and handed me my mask. I grabbed it and pulled it on, following the two giant super-soldiers from the room. As we walked, I kept stealing glances at the metal prosthesis on ole blue eyes.

“So, do you ever get freaky with that thing?” I asked bluntly. Bucky’s steps faltered and he turned to me wide-eyed.

“What did you just say?”

“The arm,” I said, pointing. “Do you ever do any weird sex stuff with it?” Bucky looked down at his arm and then back up at me.

“Define weird,” he said.

“I’m asking if you’ll choke me with your metal arm.” Before he could answer, Steve’s shield flew down the hall and hit me in the face.

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[howglorygoes]

*Backstreet Boys voice*

Oh my god we’re back again

So hype, so lit, adrenaline

[lovemesomesurveys]

If you were a witch, which animal would be your familiar? I don’t what a familiar is or anything about witchcraft.

If there's a design on your shirt, what is it? I literally just described it in the previous survey I did, but it has Ralphie from A Christmas Story on it with a bar of soap in his mouth and says, “Oh, fudge”, which is a quote from the movie.

If it was possible to colonize any planet and you were the leader, which planet would you choose? I really wouldn’t want to be the leader of anything. I’m not fit for that.

Is there a piece of technology that you just can't live without? I mean, I’m pretty attached to my laptop and phone, but of course if for some reason I couldn’t have them I would survive, but it’d be really quite boring. I don’t have much to do.

Would you ever visit a ghost town? That would be interesting.

What's the last thing you ordered from the last fast food place you went to? Loaded potato wedges and 3 egg rolls from Jack in the Box.

Which natural disaster scares you the most? They all sound terrifying. I’ve never experienced one. What're your religious beliefs and why do you follow them? I’m a Christian. I believe in God and that Jesus died for our sins and is our Savior.

What do you think happens after you die? I believe in heaven and hell.

What would you do if you found out your life was only a simulation controlled by someone else? That’s scary. I’ve had thoughts like that, though. Like a Truman Show scenario or that one day I’ll wake up and find out my whole life has been a dream.

What's the scariest thing you've accidentally found on the internet? Ugh, I HATED when jump scare things would go around. Like, people would disguise as a link for something else and then you click it and it’s some ugly, creepy looking girl screaming really loud. OH, and there was that one with the car that was driving down some winding road and you’re watching and waiting to see what the video is about and then bam! something pops up on the scream and scares you. Ughhh. Not cool. I’m such a jumpy person as it is already.

Is there anything bothering you right now? The usual stuff as always.

Thinking of every Halloween costume you've had, which one was the most creative? I never had a really creative one. They were pretty simple.

What song are you currently listening to and what song was the last you listened to? I’m not listening to music.

What's the picture on your calendar for this month? I don’t have a calendar for this year at the moment.

If you were a mythical creature, which would you be? A fairy.

If you were an animal, which would you be? A dog.

Were you ever bullied when you were younger and how did you handle it? I wasn’t, fortunately. It was something my parents worried about when I was in elementary school because I’m in a wheelchair, but honestly I never had any issues with anyone. The only bullying I receive is from myself on a regular basis. 

What do you remember most from being five years old? I have some vague, bits and pieces of memories from kindergarten. 

What do you remember most from being ten years old? I have some memories from 4th grade. My favorite teacher ever was my 4th grade teacher (who later ended up teaching 8th grade and I had him again) and I remember funny stuff he did and like how he read out loud to us books such as Matilda and he would the voices and made it fun for us. He also used to sing, and I remember one time he led all of us in a rendition of “I Want It That Way” by The Backstreet Boys lol. He was so cool. Oh, and he was known for doing “the robot” dance and miming. 

What do you remember most from being fifteen years old? Stuff from high school.

What does the last person you found attractive look like? Alexander Skarsgard is 6′4, has blonde hair, blue eyes, is very fit and in shape, and Swedish. He’s absolutely gorgeous.

Have you ever thrown something away and then wanted it back? Yes. I hold onto a lot of stuff that will sit in a box somewhere forever, but then if I get rid of something I’ll suddenly wish I still had it or have a need for it again.

What's one random city you want to visit? Seattle.

If you owned a store, what would you most likely sell? Books. It would have a cafe, too.

If you had a garden, what sort of plants would you grow? I don’t know, man. I have zero interest in gardening.

What's your favorite phase of the moon? I don’t have one.

What're your plans for today? I’ll attend my church’s livestream and then do the normal things I do everyday. 

What's the song for your life right now? I don’t know.

Do you believe that when you die, you get to see all your loved ones again? Yes.

Who would you be the most excited to see? My grandparents. 

Have you lost or almost lost someone close to you to death this year? Not so far...  I don’t want to think about that.

Did you lose any of your friends this year and if so, how? I don’t have any friends to lose. 

Have you experienced anything new this year and if so, what? Not so far, but we’re only in January. 

Do you enjoy reading National Geographic magazines? I’ve only read a few. 

Would you rather read the book or watch the movie? I love to read and I’m down to check out the movie.

Do you know anyone who's serving in the military right now? No.

Does or did either of your parents serve in the military? Nope.

Has anything in your house ever caught on fire? No.

Have you ever hugged a stranger you thought was someone else? No. Omg, that would be super embarrassing. I’ve waved to someone I thought was someone else, but never went so far as to hug someone I thought was someone else.  As a small child, did you ever feel as if you were different or weird? No, not really.

If you could instantly know any language in the world, what would it be? I’d like to be fluent in Spanish.

This year, how many times have you been to the doctor? So far just once. I go once a month and we’re only in January. 

Do you have a library card and if so, do you use it often? Nope. I haven’t had a library card since I was in high school.

Do you like romcoms and if you do, which one is your favorite? Yeah, I’m a sucker for the romcoms. I have several favorites.

Thinking of your ex and the person you love, are they similar in any way at all? I don’t have a significant other or someone I’m interested in at the moment.

Is there something you currently want and/or need that you can’t have? Yes.

Thinking back to six weeks ago, were you happier then or are you happier now and why? Neither then or now. 

Who's the first male you can think of whose name begins with "T" and what can you tell me about him? Thomas, my maternal grandpa. He sadly passed away 10 years ago. Both of my maternal grandparents passed away. I was very close with both of them and losing them was very hard for me. I miss them both every single day. My grandpa was an amazing man. He was the best husband, father, and grandpa. He was hardworking. He provided well for his family. He was loving. He was so funny. He told the best stories. He was known for being a talker haha, he could go on and on for hours, but everyone always wanted to hear what he had to say. And sometimes he’d go off on tangents, but the stories always came for circle. He was just an incredible man, well loved and missed by many.

Can you say "happy birthday" in another language? Yeah, “Feliz cumpleaños.” 

What subjects do you or did you get the worst grades in? Math was always my worst subject, I barely scraped by with Cs.

Should you be concentrating on something else instead of this survey? Nah. This is my nighttime routine.

Have you ever told someone that you loved them and they rejected you? I didn’t tell them I loved them, but I expressed my feelings for them and was rejected. Twice.

Do you know anyone else that's happened to? Yeah.

Is there anything you want to say to someone, but you can’t or won’t? Not at this time. What're your reasons for not saying it? --

Who's someone in the music industry you think is overrated? Taylor Swift. Don’t for me, Swifties. 

Who's the eleventh contact in your phone and when did you last see or speak to that person? I’m not checking. 

What’s your mother’s middle name? I’m not sharing that.

When was the last time you ate cake and what type of cake was it? I had some red velvet cake a few days ago.

Have you ever been told you were too good or not good enough for someone you loved? I had friends who said I was too good for Joseph. I wasn’t good enough, though.

Why do you think someone would say that to you? They didn’t like how he treated me and thought he was too immature.

If the last person you kissed said you were the only one they wanted, would you believe them? That was 8 years ago, I don’t see him ever saying that now...

Who was your first crush, how do you feel about that person now and do you still talk to them? My first crush was this kid Philip when I was in 3rd grade lol it was just some little crush, I was 9. He didn’t even know me.

Who was the last person that apologized to you and what was it for? I don’t recall.

So how're things going with the person you love? There’s no such person.

Are you "in love" with the last person you kissed? No. I moved on years ago.

Do you have photos to go with all of the contacts in your phone? I haven’t added a photo for any of my contacts.

Who was the last person to comment on one of your photos on Facebook and how did you meet that person? I think it was my Nana. 

How many of your friends are sexually active?

To finish, is there anything you would like to say to someone? Sigh.

Do you think surveys are annoying? They can be sometimes, but I really do enjoy doing them. Clearly.

What career paths are you considering? I don’t know. :/

Do you watch music videos? I haven’t in a long time.

Have you ever clicked on those banner ads that promise a prize for clicking? No. I definitely don’t miss popup ads. 

What kind of computer are you using? Macbook Air.

What kind of computer do you wish you were using? I’m happy with this one.

Have you ever had a weight change so drastic you went to the doctor? I didn’t see a doctor for it specifically, but yeah it was concerning. It’s still a problem I’m struggling with. 

How cold does it have to be before you put on a sweater? In the 60s F, I’d say. 

Do you eat things off the floor? Never.

Who do people say you look like? My mom.

Do you usually get your homework done on time? I’m done with school, but yeah I always got my homework done on time. I may have been a major procrastinator, but my work always got done.

Have you ever framed your old movie ticket stubs? Not framed, but kept.

Do you have a digital camera? Nope.

Have you ever stuck something inappropriate in an electrical outlet? No. I’m afraid to plug in things that meant to go in there as it is.

What do you have anything scheduled for the 16th of this or next month? We’re past the 16th now, but no I didn’t have anything going on that day and I don’t have anything planned for that day next month either.

Can you sleep without any pillows? No. I can’t sleep flat, I have to be propped up.

Is there a color you refuse to wear? I don’t like to wear white.

Has anyone ever pulled a gun on you? No, but I am a victim of random gun violence. 

Are there any chairs in your bedroom? My chair. There’s an ottoman that could also be a chair as well.

How many pairs of shoes do you have? Like 6 or 7.

How much was the last item of clothing you bought? My total was $40 for 2 shirts, but I ordered online so there’s additional fees. 

Where's your father right now? He’s in his room asleep.

Do you skip breakfast often? Yeah.

How many days has it been since your last birthday? My birthday was 6 months ago.

Do you want any more siblings than you have now? Nah, at 31 years old I can’t imagine having another sibling. 

Would you make a good president or prime minister? Nope. I have no desire to be one.

Are you going out of the country soon and if so, where to? No. I don’t have any travel plans and who knows when I will at this point. :(

Do you ever feel like you want to get away from everything? Yeppp.

Do you need a haircut? I could use a trim.

When was the last time you went on a trampoline? Never.

Were you alone today? I’m alone right now in my room cause everyone else is asleep, but they’re here in the house. My dad is off today and will be home all day. My mom and brother have work, but they’ll be home at some point.

Who was the last person you saw today? The day isn’t over yet, it’s only 4:51AM, but I’m willing to bet my brother will be the last person I see cause he and I stay up late.

[camillemontespan]

delicious [drake walker x camille]

As part of my ‘Have Your Cake & Eat It’ giveaway for reaching 400 followers, here is the first fic I’ve written, as prompted by @samihatuli who asked for ‘kinky Cake smut’ (Drake x Camille = Cake).

Well, I have written this prompt both figuratively and literally.  I genuinely think my smut writing needs more work but I like a writing challenge!

The giveaway is for everyone - if you would like me to write a fic, please send me an ask and I will do it. There are no winners being drawn because I’m planning to write every fic I am asked to do! :)

Warnings:  NSFW.  

@moonlightgem7 @fromthedeskofpaisleybleakmore @jovialyouthmusic @ibldw-main @burnsoslow @sirbeepsalot @dcbbw @mskaneko @pedudley @msjr0119 @gardeningourmet @kingliam2019 @tacohead13 @rainbowsinthestorm @katedrakeohd @emichelle @of-course-i-went-to-hartfeld @loveellamae

*********************************************************************************

Drake was relieved to drive up to the manor after a long, mindnumbing day of meetings. Even though he didn’t really care, today was not the day he would have chosen to have these meetings. It had been a challenge. For one thing,  Leo had kept throwing spit balls at Liam until his younger brother lost patience. 

Royalty, ladies and gentlemen.

Today was Drake’s birthday. He was now 32 years old. 

Drake didn’t like birthdays. He found them an ordeal and he hated being the centre of attention. He didn’t even care for presents, though Liam would always buy him a bottle of whiskey. Drake just wanted the day to be over with. 

That said, he had only had one birthday that was truly memorable. It was when he had turned 28 and Camille had coyly presented him with a beautifully wrapped, squashy present. She had watched with a smile tugging at her lips and he could tell she was desperate to tell him what it was. When Drake opened the present, he found a babygro in his hands. A yellow babygro with an embroidered marshmallow on the pocket. 

‘What’s this?’ he had asked, his voice croaking, his face showing his disbelief. 

‘You’re gonna be a daddy, Drake,’ Camille whispered, tears glimmering in her brown eyes. ‘Happy birthday.’ 

Now, their daughter Lily was four years old. Drake hadn’t received a present as thoughtful and beautiful as the babygro, though Camille always tried. Whiskey tastings, camping trips, concert tickets… Camille had tried to buy him amazing presents and although Drake appreciated it, he just didn’t want a fuss made over his birthday. To him, it was just a day, nothing more. 

He entered the manor, calling out, ‘I’m home!’

Usually, Lily would come running to greet him but he was greeted with nothing. No energetic, bouncy four year old screaming his name. No Camille coming forward to give him a kiss. No corgis racing around his feet demanding attention. 

Drake shrugged and padded through to the kitchen. As he got closer, he could hear music coming from the other side of the door. He pushed the door open to find Camille standing at the kitchen island singing along to 90s pop music, with a bowl in front of her as she stirred the chocolate cake mixture inside it. A dot of flour covered the tip of her nose. 

As she sang along to Backstreet Boys, she sipped from a glass of white wine, clearly having the time of her life. She looked up to see him watching her by the door and her eyes lit up.

‘Hey baby!’ she called out, giving him a happy grin. 

Drake smiled and leaned over the island to kiss her, before gently wiping the flour from her nose. ‘Hey beautiful,’ he said. ‘Where’s Lily?’

‘She’s at Milo’s,’ Camille told him. ‘Sleepover.’

‘Great..’

Camille fixed Drake with a steady stare. ‘Drake, they’re four. Just because he is a boy doesn’t mean he’s going to suddenly jump on her.’ 

Drake shuddered. ‘Please don’t talk about that sort of thing..’

Camille stuck her tongue out at him and turned to move to the cupboard behind her. Drake watched her briefly then put down his bag before his attention fully went back to Camille as he realised what he was looking at.

Camille was wearing an apron but nothing underneath it. 

All he could see was her bare back and perky ass peeking out from the polka dot apron. 

‘Camille..’ he said, his voice low. ‘Are you naked under your apron?’

Camille turned and leaned against the counter, crossing her arms. ‘Maybe..’

Drake moved towards her, his eyes still fixed on her. ‘W..Why?’

Camille smiled like she had a delicious secret. ‘Happy birthday, Drake,’ she whispered. ‘I’m baking you a cake.’

‘Naked?’ Drake asked, raising an eyebrow. ‘Just let me clarify this.. You’re baking me a cake… naked.’

‘Yes.’

‘And Lily’s at a sleepover, you say?’

‘All night, last I checked.’

‘So we’re alone?’

‘Yes.’

Drake was over to her in an instant. He caught at her and pulled her against him, their chests flush against each other. Their mouths crashed together. Drake could taste wine and chocolate on her tongue.

‘You taste delicious..’ he groaned. 

Camille smirked and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him in closer. Drake’s fingers raked through her hair, pulling it out of the messy bun so it cascaded down her shoulders. His hands skimmed down her hips to cup her ass. 

‘I like this look..’ he whispered. 

‘I’ll do it more often,’ she murmured, tugging at his lower lip with her teeth. Drake moaned her name and brought his hands lower so he could lift her onto the kitchen counter.  He quickly pushed away the bowl that had cake mix in it and his lips found hers again, desperate for her. Camille’s fingers pulled at his shirt, unbuttoning it quickly so she could touch his skin. Drake let out a hiss as he felt her warm fingers that were covered with flour decorating his chest. 

Drake’s hands rushed up the inside of her thighs towards the heat between her legs. 

‘Do you wanna move somewhere less.. cakey?’ Camille whispered, interrupting his journey. 

Drake smirked the smirk she loved so much. ‘You afraid to get more flour on yourself, Camille?’ he asked. 

Camille’s eyes darkened. Her legs pulled him in closer to her so they were pressed right up against each other.  She raised her chin so her lips brushed his ear, tantalisingly close.

‘Fuck me, Drake,’ she breathed, making the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. 

Drake closed his eyes, swallowing hard. ‘I fucking love birthdays,’ he growled.

He rapidly unbuckled his belt and jeans, discarding them to the floor. Camille pulled his shirt off him now, the shirt that had been unbuttoned, so he was now completely naked. Camille’s eyes darted over his body, taking in his broad shoulders and muscular arms, before looking down at his hard cock. 

She reached out for him but Drake caught her by the wrists, keeping her in place. ‘I’ve got an idea,’ he said. Raising an eyebrow, Camille watched him silently as Drake untied her apron, exposing her naked form. She smiled as Drake leaned down to press a soft kiss on her shoulder, his lips trailing like lit dynamite down to her collarbone. As he kissed her sensually, his hands took hold of the apron tie. 

Camille let out a breath as she felt him wrap the apron tie around her wrists, binding them together. She tested them by trying to move her hands but to no avail; the gleeful smile on her face told him everything he needed to know. Drake smirked and knelt down so he was now eye level with the space between her legs. 

She cried out when she felt his tongue slip between her folds, lapping deep.  Her legs shook as she focused on what he was doing to her, feeling her stomach flip as he twisted and tasted. Her feet banged against the cupboards beneath her as her body began to jerk at the new sensation. 

‘I could eat you all fucking day,’ he growled against her. Camille closed her eyes and let her head fall back as she concentrated on his tongue.  She could feel the fire building inside her and he hadn’t even properly begun yet. 

He lapped at her. His tongue teased her, pulling her into a swirling vortex, but deliberately not pulling her far enough so she would lose control. 

Drake liked to take his time. He liked to savour her and enjoy every single taste. But Camille was impatient and wanted him now. She ached to touch him but the tie around her wrists prevented her from doing so and god, she needed him. 

‘Fuck me,’ she groaned. ‘Please.’

‘But you taste so good-’

‘I can guarantee I feel fucking good,’ she interrupted, ‘so please, fuck me. Fuck me now.’

Drake chuckled and stood up. Their eyes met and Drake could see the determination in her eyes. 

‘You want this?’ he asked, reaching down to wrap his hand around his erection. Camille watched his hand pumping slowly, biting her lip.  Noting her reaction, Drake began to work himself harder. His breath came out in heavy pants as his hand moved more rapidly. He could see a bead of pre-cum forming at the head; his finger scooped the liquid up and he held out his finger for Camille. 

She leaned close to wrap her lips around his finger. Her tongue licked the liquid and swallowed. Drake groaned her name and continued to jerk himself off. 

‘You’re such a fucking tease, Walker,’ Camille croaked.

‘You like watching me though.’

Camille couldn’t deny it. But.. 

‘I want you inside me,’ she told him. ‘Put me out of my misery. Look, I was baking you a cake! I was celebrating your birthday! I was naked under my apron! I was being the best wife ever and you’re taunting me with your huge - FUCK!’

Drake plunged into her. 

Camille bit hard into his shoulder as she felt the impact of him fill her. Drake pulled her closer so he could fill her completely. His hips rocked rapidly against hers as he drove into her, while his hands covered her bound wrists. 

‘You feel fucking good, Camille,’ he groaned in her ear, his breath hitching.

 ‘You’re so big, Drake,’ she panted. ‘Oh god-’

Drake buried his face in her neck. He inhaled her Chanel perfume, savouring everything he could of his wife. As he kissed her neck, he could feel Camille’s hands moving and without pausing his kisses, he reached out to wrap his hand around hers, preventing her from releasing herself. 

‘Not yet baby,’ he murmured. 

‘I want to touch you so badly..’ she whispered. 

Drake moved back to look her in the face. ‘Do you like being tied up?’ 

‘I do.’

‘But you really want to touch me?’

‘Very much. All over.’

Drake laughed and gave her a lazy smile. ‘Fine. Because I’m feeling generous.’

He untied her wrists so she was now free.  He moved to kiss her but stopped he felt her hands wrap around his wrists. Leaning back to study her face, their eyes locked and he felt the apron tie tighten around his wrists, binding him. 

‘Well, well..’ he whispered. 

Camille smirked. ‘Two can play at that game, Mr Walker.’

Drake grinned and leaned down to kissed her deeply, unable to touch his wife but enjoying every other sensation. Camille jumped down from the counter and turned to push him onto the space where she had been sitting. Now she was the one in control. 

She got up on the counter to straddle him and slowly eased herself down onto his cock, feeling him slide easily inside her again. Drake groaned and closed his eyes as he focused on how she felt around him. He focused on this moment. 

He could feel the apron tie digging into his skin. 

He could hear Camille calling out his name. 

He could smell the delicious scent of chocolate. 

[voidsentprinces]

My brain on Post-HW

Talk to Determined Son. Go see your Husband-in-Uniform. Talk to KNIGHT WIFE! Killing things! Killing Things KILLING THINGS IN KNIGHT! KNIGHT WIFE! Talk to Tataru now go back and talk to KNIGHT WIFE!  Talk to Knight Wife again. Teleport to Anyx Trine. Talk to Knight Wife. FLY THROUGH A HOLE IN THE CEILING! Talk to Dragon. Talk to Knight Wife. Teleport to Ishgard. Talk to Determined Son. Teleport to Goblinshire. Talk to Goth Wife. Krile appears. SPILL THE TEA! TELL US ABOUT THE TIME ALPHINAUD GOT FUCKING WASTED! Talk to Krile. She whispers about the time Alphinaud once got deep in with the Tanuki Mafia. Fly across the world. Hit up Maggie Smith in her cave. Well, time to ask some people things. Teleport to Tailfeather. Show them a picture of Alphinaud’s art. Talk to Determined Son, Talk to Krile. She lets you knwo about the time Alphinaud posed as her for a week while she was out on a bender. She still has blackmai--photos.

Fly to Bugs. Talk to Bugs. Fly to Bug Hive. PUNCH BUGS! Meet Ardbert. Stare deep into those baby blues as he and the N*Sync try to murder you. THANCRED APPEARS! The boys are fighting over your hand in marriage. But you can already tell Ardbert is GONNA BE BAE! Ardbert pieces out, he needs to go win 9 out of 8 Kanto Badges like a boss. Talk to Thancred. CRAAAWWWWLLLLIIIINNNG IIIIINNN MYYYYY SKKKIIIIIINNNN! Teleport to Ishgard. Talk to Edgecred. Talk to Goth Wife. Talk to Embarassed Son. Ishgard was attack. Heck! Aymeric was stabbed FUCK! Visit your Knight Wife! Ask questions around. Talk to some Priests. NOW PRISONER 34601! YOUR TIMES IS UP AND YOUR PAROLE HAS BEGUN! YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS! Ask around some more. Priests have taken a hostage. BREAK DOWN THE MEGACHURCH DOOR! Punch Priests, Punch Monks, Punch More Priests, Punch Knights, RUN UP SOME STAIRS! Your Husband will fight for your honor. You’ve only known Aymeric for 1 2/3 expansions, but if anything else happens to him you’ll kill everyone in Ishgard and then yourself. PUNCH SOME KNIGHTS! Free some people. PUNCH SOME MORE PRIESTS! Run to your Husband-in-Uniform’s Side. PUNCH SOME KNIGHTS! Free a person. Priest YEETS hostage. But a dragon got him. Everythings okay now. You’re getting married to Aymeric in June.

Alright so you found Edgecred and Goth Wife. Go bug Maggie Smith about Minfilia. Unlock Anti-Tower. PUNCH A FROG! PUNCH DAVID BOWIE! WHAT THE FUCK ARE THOSE DOLLS! PUNCHED THEM! OH NO THEY TURNED INTO ONE NAKED DOLL! ALPHINAUD SHIELD YOUR EYES! PUNCH THE DOLL! GET THE FUUUUUUUUUCK OUTTA THERE! Oh hey Minfilia. SHE IS THE VOICE OF GOD NOW! Thancreds here. Thancred left. Alphinaud’s depressed. Talk to Depressed Son. Teleport to Ishgard. Talk to Husband-in-Uniform. Talk to Knight Wife. Teleport to Falcon’s Nest. Talk to Knight Wife. Talk to Shild-in-Law. Fly out and kill some wolves. Fly out and kill some more wolves. Report to Shild-in-Law. Enter eating hall. Drink some ale. Last time you had something to drink was at the Banquet. Good---FUCK THIS DRINK IS POISONED! SHIT GOES DOWN! WHO LET THE SHILD HAVE BOW!?! A woman is shot. She dead...but not really. Talk to people. Talk to more people. Hunt down Shild-in-Law. He punched his Ward! IMMA KILL EM! Thancred punched him for you! Take off that stupid bandana Thancred. Teleport to Ishgard.

Go visit your Husband-in-Uniform with Puncred. Talk to Puncred. Husband-in-Uniform has seduced Puncred. Go to Markets. Talk to Shild. Nearly throw hands with a 16-year old. Teleport outside of the Gates of Judgement. Talk to Knight Wife. Talk to Shild. Wear your dead Fiance’s armor. PUNCH SERPENTS! PUNCH MAELSTROM! PUNCH IMMORTAL FLAMES! PUNCH PIPIN SAVE KNIGHT WIFE! PUNCH RAUBAHN! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Alright battles over. Remove Fiance’s Armor ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Talk to Puncred.

Talk to Embarrassed Son. Teleport to Falcon’s Nest. Talk to Embarassed Son. Talk to Responsibility-in-Law. Chill out with Determined Son. Dragon Appears. So done Literal Child. LITERAL CHILD STABBED THE DRAGON! He’s possessed by Nidhogg! AYMERIC SHOTS AT LITERAL CHILD! They will fight shirtless in two days to win your hand in marriage. Talk to Determined Son. Teleport to Camp Dragonshead. Talk to Guard. Talk to Son. Teleport to Ishgard. Go to Last Vigil. Talk to Guard. Talk to Dad Fortempts. Leave. Talk to Guard. Go in Mansion.  Leave. Go to the Forgotten Knight. Talk to Krile. Slide her a fifty for pictures of Alphinaud’s Frog Phase. Talk to Frog Son. Talk to Husband-in-Uniform. Teleport to Anyx Trine. Talk to Dragon with Husband-in-Uniform. Teleport to Moghome. Talk to Husband-in-Uniform. Teleport to Zenith. Fly up tower. Blow horn. HECKIN GOOD BOY APPEARS! He challenges you to a dance off. Fly down and talk to the wyvern. Unlock Sohr Khai! Run Sohr Khai! FUCK THAT PEGASUS! Leave Sohr Khai. Talk to Husband-in-Uniform. RIDE FORTH TO ISHGARD! HECKIN GOOD BOY FIGHTS AYMERIC THERES A FUCKING WEIRD LOOKING CAT OUT HERE! OH NO! THE CAT RIPPED OFF GOODEST BOYS WIN! Unlock Final Steps of Faith. PUNCH THE CAT! PLAYSTATION2STARTUPNOISE! PUNCH LITERAL CHILD! PUNCH NACHO CHEESE FLAVORED CAT! Oh shit remove eyes from Literal Child’s Armor. THE GHOST OF ICE WIFE AND FIANCE APPEARS! You make a pot together ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Throw the eyes into the abyss. They gone now. Literal Child is taken to the hospital. For the future sick burns you’re going lay on him for the amount of fucks he upped.

Alright go talk to Dad Fortempts. Alright now go talk to a manservant. Go on a date with Husband-in-Uniform. Get cockblocked by Alphinaud. He’s saying something about his sister. Go visit the sister instead of getting to pegg the Knight Commander. Find out Sister is actually angry lass. She is now Sword Daughter! Talked to Determined Son! Teleport to Camp Dragonshead. Ride through the snow. Talk to Determined Son. Talk to Guard. Unlock Xelphatol. PUNCH BIRDS! Leave Xelphatol. Ardbert and the Backstreet Boys appear. So does a mysterious sexy elf who hides his face. Goddamn tease. Talk to Book Son. Teleport to Ishgard. Talk to Husband-in-Uniform. Talk to Book Son. Pray thee return to the Waking Sands. Walk with Sword Daughter. She tries to fight Strip Tease.

Teleport to Camp Overlook. Talk to Roe. Ride out find Kobold. Find Kobold. Find Kobold. Kobold is now friends with Sword Daughter. Ride through sulfur lake steal crystals. Talk to Roe. Talk to Book Son. Ride through the Mine of Moira. Talk to Book Son. Run Titan (Hard). WAAAAAKKKEEE UPPPPP!!!!! Leave Titan (Hard) traumatized. Talk to Kobold. Silent. Teleport to Camp Overlook. Talk to Book Son. Talk to Roe. Talk to Book Son. Talk to Sword Daughter. Teleport to Lil Ala Mhigo. Talk to Bear Daddy. Talk to Book Son. Ride out into the desert. Look upon a protest. Meet up with Papalymo and Exiled Monk. Talk to Papalymo. Teleport to Little Ala Mhigo. Talk to Book Son. Talk to dude. Dress as a hobo. Stand by a tree. Meet with a Griffon. He knows you. Time to delete your profile off Dating Apps. Talk to Book Son. Remove Cloths ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Talk to Papalymo. Run down a hill. Stand in a spot. Ardbert is here. PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE! PUNCH HIM THE FACE! WHOA SHIT HES INTO KINKY SHIT! The safe word is: Pray thee return to the Waking Sands. The sexy elf from before appears. Its Urianger! ...You will bed him. PUNCH ARDBERT! PUNCH THE ROE! PUNCH THE MAGE! Give Sword Daughter your energy! PUNCH THE ROE! PUNCH THE MAGE! PUNCH ARDBERT! PUNCH ARDBERT! Give Sword Daughter Your Energy. FUCK OFF ARDBERT! Punch Roe, Punch Ranger, Punch Priest, Punch Mage, Punch Ardbert. Give Sword Daughter Your Energy. THERE ARE NO WEAK SPELLS IN MY GRANDFATHER’S DECK ARDBERT ONLY THE UNSTOPPABLE EXXXXXOOODDDIIIIAAA! Well Ardbert’s gone. Teleport to Limsa. Talk to Catte. Teleport to Mor Dhona. Break down door. The Crystal Braves reunited at last. Alphinaud said we’re breaking up. Oh well...time to make Brave World Tour! You’re Sporty Brave. Talk to Roe. Talk to People. Talk to Book Son.

Tataru wants to speak to you privately Go Diamond Forge. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) She now has your measurements. Pray thee return to the Rising Stones. Teleport to Ishgard. Talk to Knight Wife. Go to Gates of Judgment. Talk to Knight Wife and Husband-in-Uniform. Teleport to Gridania. Bug Seedseer. Talk to Book Son. Pray thee return to Rising Stones. Talk to Book Son. Talk to Book Son. Teleport to Hawthorne Hut. Talk to Serpent at bottom of the tower. Ride down a hill talk to serpent. Talk to Book Son. Talk to Serpent. Unlock Baelsar’s Wall. FUCK THAT MACHINE! FUCK THAT MACHINE! SLOPPPEEHOWDOLOKDISSLOPPEEESLOPEEEFERALAMHIGO! FUCK ILBERD! OH NO ILBERD FUCKS BACK! THERES A DRAGON! PAPALYMO NOOOO! We’re back outside. Monk sits on a Throne of Lyse. Pray thee Return to the Rising Stones. Talk to Book Son.

Talk to Book Son. Teleport to Gridania. Bug the Seedseer. Meeting interrupted by Emperor Nero. He’s wearing your hobo clothes. Teleport to Airship Landing. Ride with Cid to Mor Dhona. Talk to Cid. Pray thee return to Risings Stones. Talk to Book Son. Talk to Nero. He shit talked your home. PUNCH HIM! Leave. Talk to Cid. Talk to Lizard Wife. Fly to a place. PUNCH GARLEANS! PUNCH ROELEAN! GET A METAL DOG! BLOW SHIT UP! BLOW SHIT UP! BLOW SHIT UP! Roelean is abandoned by his men...PUNCH HIM WHILE HE’S DOWN! Alright now enter lair. Activate Omega. Shit blows up. Leave Omega. Fly back to Gridania. Bug Seedseer. Teleport to Hut. Ride out to the forest. Talk to Throne of Lyse.  Talk to Goth Wife. Talk to Sword Daughter.

ZENOS INTENSIFIES! PRAY THEE RETURN TO THE RISING STONES! TALK TO BOOK SON! TELEPORT TO HUT! RIDE OUT! Talk to Throne of Lyse. Climb to the Top. Talk to Serpent. WE CANT STOP HERE THIS IS ALA MHIGO COUNTRY!

[moderninsight]

A Love Like That (The curious case of Him & Her, Reprise)

Days become weeks and weeks become months and soon it’s half past and then some. It hasn’t been 365, not yet - not quite. It may very well be for it’s been 278 since her all consuming heartbreak. 

She remembers when her heart was set on fire. Too much had happened, too much was at stake and too much was lov(ed) and too much was lost. An epic heartbreak warfare mess and the wildfire had run ‘round in its own madness. But the flames were soon flooded by the monsoon in her heart and she was left in the ashes of the love she had so freely gave. When love leaves you, time stops and the world as you know it reverberates to its core creating tremors and aftershocks galore. A burn so slow, so treacherous that it left her gasping for air on days without end. She remembers the exact moment her heart was wrenched open, bleeding for every minute of every hour of every God damn day. Mind-filled, heart-heavy and tear-stained, barely breathing through corrupted lungs. And all the king’s horses and all the king’s men could not put her back together again. For this kind of heartbreak had no pain relief, not when all she knew betrayed her for lack of true effort and she was traded in for a good (e a s y) time over a good thing. Too much had happened, too much was at stake and too much was lov(ed) and too much was lost and r e p l a c e d - just like that. And in due time, her rose coloured glasses shattered and she saw him for what he really was - a lost little boy masquerading as a man. 

They say “time heals all wounds” and so it goes, and so it shows. But she now knows that time just moves you along with no choice and no say and she sank too far and too long that she f i n a l l y decides to swim and not sink. She puts on a brave face (God, how exhausting) and all on her own she picks up the pieces and soldiers on. 

So she catches flights, still in her feelings and puts in a woman’s work. She gets lost in Japan with her wounded heart, dragging it along the kaleidoscope of Tokyo lights and eating away the night sublime. She bullets over to Kyoto and tries to take in the serene but the dull ache in her chest is all she feels. She takes her heart next through Korea to the Philippines where she reunites with her family after 10 long years. She laughs, she cries and lives a little more. She delights in the palm trees, sea breeze and the loudness of it all. She doesn’t know if it’s more fun in the Philippines but she does know it’s more fun with her smile. Then she’s off to Orlando for a Disney adventure, screaming from the tallest heights and rushing through torrential downpour in what truly is The Happiest place on Earth. Then she’s back on cloud nine and finds herself dancing through Havana nights, a city truly frozen in time. She relishes in losing the outside world and roaming through rainbow buildings and retro cars, falling asleep to Cuban lullabies. Then she’s running through the 6ix with less of her woes and remembers the last time she was in Toronto. Doe eyed and naive but fast forward to today, she’s feeling 28. Here’s to another year she muses, here’s to more life, more heart and MORE HER. And soon enough she’s back home and no longer the girl she once was, broken and in disarray but a woman in search of her word. She may have lost the battle but she’s clearly winning the war. 

In the midst of it all she had already put herself out there. Unsure, unready and so very afraid but she hits download anyway. The whole thing is daunting and the fear inescapable but when is anyone ever ready for anything anyway? So she jumps head first (for once) and heart after. She swipes left aplenty but swipes right on a few and - It’s a match!

She doesn’t know what to think of him at first, ‘cause she left him on read as she plane hopped in June but his interest was engaging and oh so soon they exchange numbers and “Can I call you?” 

His voice catches her off guard - older and more refined and so sure of himself as they spoke of everyday things. And next thing you know they set a date and she’s standing in the movie theatre with a nervous fervor. They’re thrilled by swinging spiders far from home and endless conversation and next thing you know it’s past midnight and she’s found herself intrigued beyond belief. The next few weeks are filled with his smile, his laughter and boyish jokes 

[*sunglasses on, hat on* “This is my running like an actor look” to “Where’d all these cars come from? It’s like the Avengers rolled through, slow down Spider-Man!”]

But nothing excites her more than the way he stimulates her mind [”You know we’re an anomoly, You and I”] 

She finds herself glowing in this connection they’ve created, talking of near misses of years past [”we were both in Langara at the same time!” and “just gonna go back in time and be like see you in 5 years?”] to a soft familiarity as if she’s supposed to have known him before [”I used to fly LA all the time, pretty sure you were my gate agent once maybe twice”].  

But it’s the little things she’ll never forget and the little things he’s done for her in such a short amount of time. From car rides home, Bazzi’s 3:15 and singing to old school jams and Backstreet Boys. And God, he doesn’t know it but boy could he sing. And every time he did, her heart skipped a little faster than it should. 

He takes her to nature, hand-holding, eye-glancing and steal-kissing. And soon enough he feels like summer. From sunrises to sunsets to before midnights and to his handsome cockiness she decides that she likes. “What’s your type?” She’s not sure, she likes what she likes but if she really had to choose he’d be her type. And he tells her that she’s different [”yeah I’m different”] But there’s still a garden in her heart and the walls are very high. They joke that they’re “friends with feelings” but then the elephant in the room was always looming and she knew perhaps it was too good to be true. He chalks it up to “timing,” the invariable third party in the tango of life. 

Her heart sinks a little because he nips it in the bud before anything can really bloom and she thinks it’s a shame because she knows they could be so much more than just g r e a t. And in the end, she wishes he would stay. [”I know what i’m missing out on,” he quietly says] Ah, at least somebody does. 

But she’s never felt this before...as though a missed opportunity had passed them by but she gets it, she understands. God, she understands. He’s always been upfront with his convictions and they still joke through it all and she respects him all the more but damn, what a shame. She hopes they can still be friends, minus the feelings (maybe) because he’s cool enough to kick it but who knows she may never hear from him again...and so it goes, so it shows (See you in 5 years? hah). 

And for a split second she allows herself to play make believe, thinking of the would have’s, could have’s, should have’s they could be. You find someone you like and you roll the die and the hand she’s been dealt had folded too quick - and that’s okay. But there’s always a pendulum swing and what goes down must come back up. So she’s grateful for his charm and the mind he has that she so wishes she could still pick. And the gratitude still wells in her heart for she’s writing again and she has him to truly thank. s i g h. 

So days become weeks and weeks become months and soon it’s half past and then some. It hasn’t been 365, not yet - not quite. It may very well be for it’s been 278 since her all consuming heartbreak. 

But she knows she’s a woman worth pursuing, who grows only in love with herself even more. And a woman who loves herself is deadly for that she is sure. Her resilience astounding, her drive alluring and forever searching from the depths of her world-building soul. It’s hard being a dreamer in a realist world but that’s what’ll make you fall in love with her. She thought she was a woman in search of her word but she’s always known what it was. She may have forgotten for a moment in the midst of all that madness but now she knows she’s truly a work of heART. 

And real love? It does make canyons out of mountains and divide oceans apart. It isn’t just about making someone feel special, anyone can do that. Again, real love is a real work of heART - just like her. And when love finds you, let it in. And when love finds you...let it show, let it grow. Love is made with the fondness of sighs, a perserving sweet and a fire in lover’s eyes. Hardened hearts yet open eyes and a touch of vulnerability sealed with a kiss after a long day’s night. And when the right people come into your life, there’s no such thing as “timing”, no barrier it can’t overcome because when real love finds you...it’s t i m e l e s s and those kind of people are always right. 

She’s still afraid of falling but she’s no longer scared of heights for she knows she can give a love like that.

Hey google, play “Love like That” by Snoh Aalegra

[hitchfender]

@wishforwishes and i were discussing this ages ago, and i’ve finally worked up the courage to do my official ranking of 1989 (deluxe). without further ado:

1. out of the woods 2. style 3. you are in love 4. welcome to new york 5. shake it off 6. blank space 7. wonderland 8. wildest dreams 9. this love 10. how you get the girl 11. i wish you would 12. i know places 13. all you had to do was stay 14. new romantics 15. clean 16. bad blood

to complete this list, i listened to the album in order and wrote a paragraph with my impressions of each track; then i went back and ranked them. i worked very hard on it, and it turned out very long, so it’s all under a read more! please send opinions and reactions ❤️ love u

welcome to new york - honestly, this song is just so fun. the beat drops smooth and satisfying, and when she yells “new york!” just before the bridge it feels like a shout of freedom. the track is lyrically thin, but that doesn’t mean the lyrics are bad, and i think taylor communicated everything she wanted to with them; this first song invites us into the album, and sets us up for a pop-flavoured story of “real love that drives you crazy.”

blank space - this is taylor at her most sardonic and self-aware, tongue firmly planted in her cheek as she sings about bad boys and loving the game. some of her imagery falls flat, and that repetitive drumbeat grates after a few verses, but man, that tongue click was a stroke of genius: bringing the listeners into her world with insolence and irony.

style - this guitar knocks me off my feet every time. here’s where she makes her 80s influences most keenly felt, and where she brings that imagery she’s so famous for to the foreground. she paints her experience with a combination of broad strokes and achingly specific detail, and when it’s over you feel drained and renewed, like at the end of a long drive through beautiful, dangerous terrain.

out of the woods - i don’t know what to say about this one that i haven’t already said, so here it is again. reading the lyrics this song feels almost manic, the chorus losing its meaning and becoming a frenetic howl, the stories she’s telling disassociated and too-sharp, like shards of memories. once you get to the bridge, it starts to sound that way, too - she switches from the more complicitous “we” to an accusatory “you,” and she starts making demands - yet even in this moment of fear and anger there’s tenderness: a sunrise and shared tears. when she seizes her agency with that “oh, i remember” i feel some primal emotion lodge itself like a bullet in my chest.

all you had to do was stay - although i like the way she transitions from vindictive to tender and back again (“you were all i wanted / but not like this / not like this”), the lyrics feel a bit repetitive and the upbeat mood detracts from the meaning she’s trying to express.

shake it off - RIGHTS for these trumpets. and the giggle. some of the vocabulary feels a little forced (hella good hair?), and the production is oddly gapped - there are breaks in the ambient sound that force you to focus on her singing, but this isn’t her best vocal work... but, like, i think i’m concentrating on the wrong thing here. this is a song about letting go of the hate, literally intended for you to lose your mind to in your room at 3 am. i can’t fault the concept.

i wish you would - this start sounds a lot like the opening of style, actually, and these spaced-out electronic drums are straight off ootw. fascinating. moving on: this sounds like a diary entry, which is extremely taylor, but it makes the song come off a bit disconnected. love that line about “a crooked love in a straight line down,” but by the end i’m left with no distinct emotional impression. also literally forgot about it when i was trying to rank the songs.

bad blood - (i know it’s not on the album but i can’t not critique the kendrick verses. “pov of you and me, similar iraq”: L. i like the nod to backstreet freestyle tho.) anyway i feel like i would be more fuck-feminism about this whole thing if it slapped harder, but as it is i’m falling asleep a bit. album version especially. sorry ms swift!

wildest dreams - that’s more fucking like it. this is probably in my top 10 of her songs, from any album. every line of this! the imagery! the dreamy vibes! the way the bridge hits and she lets loose all of that fierceness she’s been holding back (”burn it down”)! i love how the sunset line parallels her own red and rosy makeup, and the dreamy feeling that conveys. also one time i had sex to this song and it was exactly as transcendent as you’d imagine, so.

how you get the girl - i’ll admit i’m not a massive fan of taylor’s favoured “ah” exclamations, but i’ll let em slide because this song goes off. hygtg accomplishes what ayhtdws set out to do: contrasting message and tone with just the right amount of attitude. i love the narrative in this one, too - she tells a clear story with subtle changes to the verses and the chorus. also the sudden vulnerability in her voice when she sings “i don’t want you to go” is like a shock of cold water. masterful.

this love - i can never decide how i feel about this track. the chorus looks almost ridiculous on paper - “this love is good / this love is bad”, seriously? - but god, she sells it, and just like in ootw the ohhs help to create that dreamlike atmosphere. the water metaphors mirror the seagulls on the album cover, by the way, which: mind.

i know places - right off the bat this piano and the way the drums come in late remind me of kanye’s “runaway” - a mirrored version of it, maybe. "runaway” is a warning - he’s laying himself bare, telling his lover he doesn’t plan on changing, exhorting her to run while she can. taylor’s version is a statement of fierce intent: it’s about isolating yourself from the world, making the almost violent choice to remain with your lover despite everything else. they’re songs about escape, but not escapism. anyway i like this song because it’s about harry styles.

clean - this one is boring somehow. like i get it, water metaphors, but the ah-ahs are getting on my nerves again and “hung my head as i lost the war” seems a bit self-consciously understated. maybe i just haven’t felt the specific feeling she’s writing about yet, but until i do this one will remain low on my list.

wonderland - she’s trying to get across this fierce “us against the world” thing, but there’s not enough of taylor’s specialty: those razor-sharp details that make her music feel both universal and infinitely personal. wonderland is all vague allusions to green eyes and getting lost together, full of sound and fury but not signifying much. i am into the i-am-a-woman-and-i-am-fucking-crazy thing, but i need a bit more from her.

you are in love - am i strong enough for this? we’ll see. this track’s got it all -lyrics clean as anything from her earlier discography, backed by those synths that are 80s without feeling like pastiche. i’m obsessed with the dynamics; her choice to use or remove the backing vocals emphasises her own voice, brings out its flaws and makes the song (though it’s quite production-heavy) feel raw. she makes use of her favourite trick, little snatches of memories creating a pointillist picture, but the most affecting line comes (as with so many of her best songs) in the bridge: “you understand now ... why i’ve spent my whole life trying to put it into words.” it’s the only time she mentions herself on this self-effacing track, and the effect is immediate and startling - suddenly we’re in taylor’s shoes, watching a beautiful relationship unfold from the outside, and after a full album of songs about a fragile, doomed love affair, that line lends “you are in love” new depth.

new romantics - i have whiplash but WE’RE ALL BORED! taylor once again proves she’s never read the scarlet letter. come to think of it, a whole lot of these lyrics don’t make sense, so... yup, just googled and max martin and shellback cowrote this one. side effect: it sounds great, and the words are secondary. the old taylor pops out on the bridge to remind us of her broken-heart fantasies (“please leave me stranded”), but it sounds more like parody than ever - maybe that’s growth? a bit like blank space, this track is glaringly self-aware, like she’s daring her critics to condemn her for the foibles she already knows about, and delights in. i don’t hold it against her. god knows she’s earned a little indulgence.

tagging @roseringharrie @complicatedbabyhoneyfreak @faithmp3 @carefisher @dyketaylorswift @harrysdimples @rainbowfragrance13 (hi and welcome!) @harrystylesep @winoharry @archer-wilde @haaaaaaarrry because at some point we’ve liked each other’s taylor swift posts and/or you’ve been very nice while i yelled incoherently about her. love you all more than words and stream lover xoxoxo

[ebenbantd]

                                  What Are The Chances…

…that a 14 year old actor would answer a newspaper ad about forming a band,

…that he would know a 19 year old singer / actor auditioning under the name Tony Donetti,

…that a 12 year old would turn down a contract with the Mickey Mouse Club to join a group that didn’t even exist,

…that a 22 year old playing Aladdin and a Ninja Turtle at Disney World would hear about the group and join,

…that he would have an 18 year old cousin, still in high school, with the voice of an angel who would ultimately complete the group?

                            What Are The Chances…

…that the group would name themselves the Backstreet Boys after a flea market in Orlando, FL where they rehearsed tirelessly,

…that the Backstreet Boys would travel around to high schools performing before heading overseas and gaining international fame,

…that these five young men would put in the hard work and endless sacrifices to become a household name in their own country,

…that they’d still be around 25 years, selling out a Vegas residency, releasing their 10th studio album, and releasing a new single?

                      What Are The Chances…

…that we’d still know every word to every song,

…that we’d still have our memorabilia tucked away,

…that we’d be sharing their music with our children,

…that we’d get the same feeling we got the first time we saw them to this day?

                          What Are The Chances…

…that they would be the reason so many of us are friends turned family,

…that they would be the reason we have passports and have traveled to places we would have never dreamed going to,

…that they would inspire us without even knowing it,

…that we’d be celebrating birthdays, milestones, and triumphs with them,

…that we would travel the earth and the seas to get a high off of their music,

…that Kevin, Howie, Brian, AJ and Nick would mean so much to us?

What Are The Chances…

…that we’d see pieces of ourselves in their own struggles,

…that they’d share those pieces of themselves with us – the highs and lows, the ups and downs,

…that we’d learn so much from five men who enticed us with their music and kept us with their integrity, their hard work, their kindness, their humility, their honesty and their willingness to keep growing and be better?

                       What Are The Chances…

…that we’ll always want it that way?

…that we’ll never say OH MY GOD without thinking “we’re back again”?

…that we’ll ever say “gotta go” normally?

…that we’ll ever stop rolling our windows down and the music up anytime the Backstreet Boys come on?

…that they’ll ever truly know how much they’ve meant to us?

                  What Are The Chances?

Well, they’re like two in a million… like once in a lifetime.

[silverhydra9]

My experiences meeting a system for the first time

So I recently had the pleasure of hanging with @the-chroma-system in real life for the first time since getting to know them. In fact it was my first time meeting a dissociative system since learning about them. To summarize; it was a wonderful experience and I’m looking forward to next time we get to hang out ^^

While I didn’t get to meet every alter or give everyone hugs like I’d planned I still got to meet a lot, so here are my notes:

First alter I met was Weiss, the host, and she was just as nice and friendly as she appears online. Although the initial meeting was a bit awkward, as I assume internet friends meeting irl for the first time are :P

Later that evening me and Weiss were walking down a street when she suddenly went very silent. I assumed it was more awkwardness, but it turned out to be Freya wanting to say hello. I felt really bad for not noticing u_u

Freya wanted to show me a crepe place but couldn’t remember where it was, so Kai took over, which was immediately obvious. He walked twice as fast and communicated wordlessly with flat stares and head nods. Like a silent homing missile. We ate some crepes and bubble tea, but I never got to give him his hug... Oh well.

Zetsumei was really obvious every time she poked her head up, mostly due to her vice and distinct sense of humor. She threw a cheesecake at me. Several times. Other than that, not as bad as I feared :P

Mina wasn’t really that obvious when she was fronting, but very obvious in her sense of style. Looking at Chroma in the morning it was really obvious if Mina had dressed them or not. Met her a few times but she always bailed before breakfast.

Tyfia came out to eat ramen at one point and was one of the harder ones to catch onto, but very nice. A good snake lady :)

Lithrium was very obvious, even if Weiss hadn’t announced her well ahead of time. She was very nice to talk to, though the topic wasn’t the most pleasant. At first she seemed very quiet and stoic, like Kai, but once she started talking it was clear she had a lot on her mind.

Koishi was a pleasure to be around, a noticable airhead :P She was extremely easy to distract and had no sense of direction, or in the very least didn’t seem to care where we were going. Her tactic for playing breath of the wild was whimsical and spontaneous and she was one of the more huggy alters ^^

Salem, surprisingly, did show up one day and she was in a bad mood, but honestly she seemed chill. Obviously no hugs were exchanged. She apparently joined Kai at one point to influence Weiss into entering a bakery :P

Zero was just a real pleasure to be around. She showed up every time we drank alcohol and was just the nicest most down to earth alter in the system. Drinking with Zero was as fun as seeing Weiss take back over afterwards XP

Vague came out to eat ramen and we shared a cofront hug which technically counts. He’d probably be more talkative if he wasn’t focusing on eating his ramen, a feat made doubly difficult when cofronting with Paka :P

Speaking of Paka, no alter was more obvious in influencing Weiss XD. I still remember the flat look on Weiss face after piling her plate with food and then being asked if, just maybe, Paka was nearby XP. Paka was really nice, though I could tell she was in a teenager phase. I liked hanging with her even if she did stomp on my foot when I teased her. She could also really scream during karaoke, like WOW o_o

Speaking of karaoke, Me and Damon are the new backstreet boys. I don’t know why or how but we’re just really good at singing backstreet boys :I Other than that Damon came out to talk about his music and he poked me a lot for no reason, though Weiss did so too.

Gwenevere, Ikana and Satori all showed up during karaoke as well and sund some beautiful songs :) It’s a shame I didn’t get to talk with them more, but I understand that they couldn’t all get time at the front. At least I heard them all sing and got to give out hugs.

The big star of karaoke, though. The one who had the technique to sing Lady Gaga like a boss. That was Ghirahim. It was so fucking good and he was having a fucking blast XD. Between him and Paka it’s a miracle Chroma’s voice wasn’t wrecked the day after.

Azura was not too obvious to me other than that I expected her to show up when she did. She’s probably the one alter I met who I’ve spoken to the least before, but we ended up spending quite some time together. Most of that time was very emotional as we were visiting her home, the fushimi inari shrine, and though she was welcomed by the gods there her siblings had since passed on u_u. After we got back she brightened somewhat and was a very elegant and warm person.

The littles of the system (Chara/Frisk, Glitch, Shrii, Levi, Polaris, Umbra and Sasha) didn’t front much, but they joined me and Koishi at the front on a trip to Nara to see the deer there. According to Koishi and Zero they had a great time and Levi even woke up for it :) Shrii was the only one who came out to front towards the end though. We ate ice cream and took the train home listening to music together. Surprisingly, Shrii also joined in on karaoke and sung a Disney song ^^. I was surprised since she’s such a shy and soft spoken kid.

Mauli was the absolute cuddliest alter I met. I knew it was going to be strange, seeing Chroma starting to act like a cat, but she was just absolutely precious~ I was surprised by her accent and tone of voice though. Weiss said she can’t place the accent, but I feel like it sounded eastern European :0 In any case, mauli loves back rubs but she also gives great ones in return, 10/10 would pet again~

Yulie didn’t show up much outside of karaoke, which I honestly thought was a bit sad u_u. I consider her one of my best friends in the system so I would have loved the opportunity to hang out a bit more. She did come out for a short while at my request though, and we sorted out some things that had been bothering me about her shipping tendencies regarding me. She was nice :)

The last alter I met was Phobia, a surprise appearance. She showed up, revealed the secrets of her tendrils to me (totally grossing Weiss out in the process) and attempted to... seduce me? I’m not sure what her plans were but I have never seen Weiss shut another alter down that fast before :P Phobia had a really distinct body language, especially her posture and the way she fluidly moved her fingers, as if she was weaving a spell or caressing the air.

Honorable mention goes to Naraku, who was probably there almost the entire time but never said hello. I’m not really sure if he has anything against me or not but an acknowledgment would’ve been nice :0

Another honorable mention is Lavender Pearl, who I never met but she had been fronting one morning before I came over. Apparently she was too shy to stay around for me. It’s a shame I didn’t get to say hi, but I wouldn’t want to force her, of course :)

So for those counting that’s a total of 31 alters either met or cofronting around me, leaving me at roughly 37% of the alters met and one fourth hugged ^^.

I was nervous at first, but systems really are like getting several friends at the price of one ^^. Looking forward to seeing @the-chroma-system again and my other system friends too :)

[cherrystreet]

He’s invited as my plus one to my best friend’s wedding.

It makes me a little panicky; I’m in the wedding, so I can’t sit with him at the church, or during dinner, or during pictures. He’ll be on his own, meeting a slew of people all at one time without me there as guidance. It’s like I picked him up and threw him into the shark tank. I worry about this for weeks.

I shouldn’t have.

I’m only able to talk to him for a brief moment during cocktail hour, my hands shaking with nerves knowing I have to give a speech in front of 150 people in a minute’s time. He’s wearing the suit he bought in Italy, the one he says he thinks he looks best in, and he’s right. It’s soft against my cheek when he wraps his arms around me, my dress flowing across the floor behind me.

“Hi,” he says. “You look pretty.”

I squeeze his shoulders. My hands aren’t shaking anymore. “I’m so happy you’re here.”

My friends greet him with over-the-top enthusiasm, excited to meet him for the very first time, and I’m dragged away for maid of honor duties. I excuse myself and look over my shoulder on my way out the door. He’s already talking to my dad, both of them laughing.

When I reenter the party on the back of the best man, the DJ booming the music and the rest of the bridal party clapping to the beat for our entrance, the crowd laughs as he spins me around, my bouquet in the air in celebration. It’s all so phony and over the top, as most weddings are, but it feels good, like a wave of relief that a year’s worth of planning and stress is finally over and done with. Breathe. We made it.

I give my speech. My voice wobbles and I stumble a bit, but I don’t cry. The bride does, though, as does the majority of our friends, and when I make my way over to his table, I see that he’s smiling.

“You did a great job,” he tells me. “All the girls here bawled.”

I grin, looking at two girls still dabbing at the corners of their eyes with cloth napkins. “Thank you. You look nice, by the way.”

He hums, places his hand on my hip. I’m standing, he’s still sitting, and it should feel awkward looking down at him. It doesn’t. “You forgot to mention that before when I told you earlier that you looked pretty.”

“You didn’t tell me I looked pretty,” I tease.

“Want me to tell you again?”

“Yeah.”

He rolls his eyes, but he’s still smiling. “You look beautiful. And I hated watching you on some other guy’s back.”

I burst out laughing at that. His hand tightens on my waist, pulling me onto his lap. I whisper that I can’t stay, I have to go back with the rest of the bridal party.

“No,” he murmurs. “Stay here. Right here.”

I give him another two minutes before I take off again. It’s not enough.

The rest of the evening is spent with me going back and forth, dividing my attention between the wedding and the table where I want to be most. Every time I look over, he’s already looking back, and when he gestures for me to join them again, I don’t hesitate, will power gone, temporarily abandoning my station at the bar.

“What’s with the frown face?” he asks when I’m within earshot.

I point at my wrist. “The bracelets we were given as gifts this morning... It broke off. I have no idea where it went.”

He hums, pausing. “I can fix that.”

“How.”

He reaches for a flower in the centerpiece, ties it around my wrist where the white gold bracelet should be. “Like so.”

Dinner is over. The bride makes eyes at me that scream, Please get people to start dancing. I soberly take my spot on the dance floor. Alone. Most people are looking - and no one is getting up. I set the tone and jump up and down to a Backstreet Boy song. I’m not by myself for long, thank God. It’s just the two of us, dancing like complete assholes to a childhood song, and then, suddenly, we’re slow dancing to it. I’m not sure which is worse, or which I like more. Regardless, it’s the force that drives the rest of the people seated to make their way to join us, and soon, no one is sitting. He hoists me up in the air, Dirty Dancing style. It’s the most ridiculous thing he’s ever done, and I’m wearing a fucking flower bracelet on my wrist.

Everyone heads outside at the end of the night, the air cold, my bare feet freezing against the pavement. My teeth start chattering, and I feel the Italian suit slip onto my shoulders. He rubs my arms and whispers into my ear, “I hate to admit it, but I think this suit looks better on you than it does on me.”

I smirk. “Oh, yeah?”

“Keep it on. I wanna keep starin’ at ya.”

I keep it on. He keeps staring. He stays the night with me, even after he swore he couldn’t stay.

The wedding is over.

We haven’t said I love you yet. Sometimes, I can feel it sitting on my tongue, and I actively have to work to swallow it. I’m not sure if he loves me back, yet, and I’m terrified to say it before he’s ready.

My mom knows this. She knows we haven’t exchanged words, but she also knows how much I feel about him. The morning after the wedding, she sends me a text. I angle the phone away so he can’t see it, his head on my bare shoulder, still half asleep.

You don’t have to worry about him saying it. I watched the way he looked at you all night, and all I could think of was, “Wow. That man loves my daughter.”