#* threads; vance

[relaxedstyles]

Bluesky, huh?

[victusinveritas]

[cameoamalthea]

Mark Kelly is Cool

A Reddit thread explaining the joke

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

Frank can you tell me a bedtime story please? 🥺 I'm just a little guy. I'm just a little guy who'd like a bedtime story, you wouldn't tell a sleepy little guy who wants a bedtime story no, would you?

A little guy from hell stumbled into a pub, scared.

"What's wrong with you?" asked a patron.

The little guy replied, "Satan sent me to Earth to corrupt the humans, but they don't seem to care!"

The patron said, "Not to worry, little guy, we got this."

A nun entered the pub and chastised the little guy.

"How dare you drown your iniquities in alcohol?" she said.

The patron asked, "Not to worry, little guy, we got a beer."

A well-meaning liberal entered the pub and said, "The poor need to break the cycle of oppression and poverty."

The patron laughed and replied, "Not to worry, little guy, we got liberalism."

A grinning hobo entered the pub and asked, "Hey, do you have anything I can eat?"

"Not to worry, little guy," said the patron, "we have a religion."

A little guy of indeterminate gender and gender identity entered the pub.

"Not to worry, little guy," replied the patron, "We have a penis."

[invcntions]

continued from here for @hiddcnhorizcns (because apparently it was legacy)

it only takes one look at the other male's stance to know the conversation isn't going to go the way vance wants it to, the casual air of nonchalance hardly giving the impression of a guy who realises just how genuinely he could be at risk. or at least a guy who cares. “ and doesn't that make it more entertaining to try? ” he questions with the quirk of a brow, a faint challenge to the words. “ dangerous curiosity is just an idiot's way of saying death wish before they realise it's a death wish. ” vance mutters, blue eye fixed firmly on julian as he watches his little show of apology. teeth bit gently against the inside of his cheek as he stands up, several paces taken around the room in part to relieve his own stress, and in part because he can't help it — the strange power dynamics of making julian sit down only to stand up above him. he drops back into the chair as he realises the move, fingers raking back through dark curls. “ you get that i'm trying to help you, right? ” it's a rhetorical question, one he doesn't give the other time to answer. “ you're the lookout, julian. they will leave you there to take the fall — once they do you're fucked, and i can't do anything. so just don't get yourself in that situation. ”

[vv-ispy]

When all else fails, Consider Sayaka

[angelvings-archive]

💕 ( psst . i love you saur much . )

lorelei x vance . fiadh x archie . dilon x tucker . milo x naya . wynona x jade . hollis x cindy . dari x wren . sunisa x roman . mackenzie x thea .

send 💕 and i will tell you some muses of ours i think could work as a ship .

[mail-me-a-snail]

Tell me, almighty snail… what is Vance’s weirdest hobby?

you asked and i have delivered...his weirdest hobby...........is being a reddit user on r/netrunning and other such forums. he gets really invested in helping people with their tech issues but he is also always ready to fight someone on the best way to hack into so and such server ..he may be chill irl but he goes crazy on forums

[tcrnished]

"hey." jane takes a deep, steadying breath, resting her head against the top of vance's bunk. "can we talk ??" she glances over her shoulder at his bandmates, who are generally being noisy children. "alone ?? it's kind of important." // @gvngsigns / vance stoker.

[viciousins]

— continued from here

shakes her head , disagreeing with his dispute . passionate spark was destined to dim eventually , two hearts no longer beating as one . ' i don't need to sleep on it , ' she retorts . ' can you really look me in the eye & tell me that things haven't changed between us ? tell me you still love me as much as the day you married me . ' @callsyoumine

[godsiick]

@mihariori.

Now that she spent a lot of time around Izaya, she saw he brother less and less. It wasn't surprising to see him enter the apartment, but it was somewhat uncomfortable. He was her brother, but he wasn't a very good person to be around.

He, on the other hand, seemed to be business only. He didn't like Izaya-- Mostly for the simple reason he had no idea what his end goal with them both was-- But Rose was around to annoy him less and less.

"How was it-?" Rose dared a quick question, offering up a warm smile in hopes of easing the uncomfortable tension. Not that she even really knew what it was.

"It's done. Discreetly, as asked." Vance spoke, arms crossed. "Anything else?"

[mydarlingdearestdead]

Marauders campfire song. I am messed up.

I regret all decisions

Remus: My dad is Lyall he researches things, you'll know his work by his lycanthropy developments, I wait by the phone but the phone never rings! Oh no! When your dads gone, life can be tough, I met the guy once! And once was enough!

Peter: Oh I hear that

Remus: Emme!

Emmeline: My mom's Alisa, she's smart and she's wise, she's sworn off gluten and she's sworn off guys, if she came to school it'd be a surprise. Oh no!

Everyone: Oh no!

Emmeline: Oh and my stepdad, he hates me, and my mum works all day. So I left them and I ran away.

Remus: Alright whose next?

Lily: Okay! Lemme see....

Lily: My mom's Ruth, goddess of the garden! She gets excited when it starts to rain but planting and planting and plantings a pain...

Everyone: Oh no!

...Right? for their sixteenth birthday, my friends got a car! I got a fern in some dumb mason jar

Peter: My turn!

Peter: I'm a child of Noah, for those who love quidditch they're often beguiled! He's not really my dad, but I'm sort of his child! Oh no!

Everyone: Oh no...

Peter: He married my mum, while exploring new frontiers and no one has seen him since!

James: Sirius! who's your mum?

Sirius: My Mother is Walburga.

Sirius: Remember my essay? She wants to eat her children!

Remus: Sirius wins!

Peter: Yeah, her mum's definitely the worst.

Remus: How about you, Mary?

Mary: The magnet for love, my mom's Silena. She tries to be cool but mainly she's flighty. I'll bring home a partner and she's there in her nighty!

Everyone: Oh no!

Mary: It's so embarrassing guys! I tried to seek help from even Minnie 'cause she steals my mascara and all of my dates!

Remus: Alright, James it's your turn!

James: If I try to sing, it'll probably cause an avalanche.

Remus: Aww, we're all friends here, c'mon give it a shot

James: My mom is named Effie, she loves colourful decoration and cooking cultural food and-

Lily: He's doing it wrong.

James:

[ccmpletemess]

closed starter for @prcttyvxnom ( feyza & vance ! )

A groan slips from her lips as she pushes herself upwards in bed, grimacing at the slight pounding in her skull. That was absolutely the last time she let Iva convince her to do that many shots. One glance at her surroundings and Fey immediately realised she wasn't in her own apartment, immediately leaping out of the bed to fetch her clothes. Hearing the other stir, she grabbed the sheet to cover herself, turning to face ---

"Vance?" She blinked, before her eyes widened as she pieced the memories from last night together. She'd been out drinking with Iva, Ceyhan had arrived, she'd left them bickering and somehow left to sleep with her ex. Well shit. "Morning..."

[angelvings-archived]

« what     is     your     boyfriend's     thoughts     on     you     being     here     ? » / @richspirits ♡ .

[xbellaxlestrangex]

where: just outside the firefly festival who: @amissavis

Bellatrix had watched the witch, it was hard to miss her in that dress, but waited for the right opportunity before she followed her. This was their game, and she would not pass an opportunity where she could remind Emmeline of their betrayal.

Waiting until they were alone, she steps out of the shadows, behind the other. "One would think you'd like to blend in more, considering all." She muses.

[invcntions]

closed starter for my love @silvrmoon based on the first point here

 “  you're not going back out in that. ” he sighed softly, arms crossed over his chest as brown eyes fixed on the weather out the window rather than watch them gather up the final pieces of their belongings.  “  just stay until it blows over, you can tell me how shitty i am or whatever you need to make it worthwhile. ”