#(yes that WAS one of the parts we had to replay like 2-3 times bc we were laughing so much dfkjkdfg)

[airenyah]

y'all i just got done watching the first ep of the heart killers with my mom. we were having the time of our lives. in fact, we took about 2h to get through the entire ep bc we kept replaying specific parts and discussing them. safe to say that we WILL be watching ep2 jdfgjsdjkgd

[kamii-2]

“you thought wrong”

so sorry for not posting a chapter in almost 2 months but i hope you guys enjoy this long-ish chapter! a part of this chapter is based off of a fanfic i read a while ago, im not sure who wrote it or who the fic was about but if i ever find out who it is i will definitely give them a shoutout type thing. i’d also like to say this chapter is where things start to like really happen (idk how else to word it, hopefully you get what im saying) and im very sorry if the beginning of the sorry is confusing in any way, also act like they’re all old enough to drink.

warning(s): cussing, drinking, kissing

genre: fluff

pairing(s): kk arnold x reader

“you thought wrong” masterlist

==================================

chapter 3: “is this some kind of prank?”

==================================

the moment you accidentally opened the door then shut it, kk pulled away from the girl she was making out with and ran to ice, not telling the other girl what was going on. “ice, i think i messed up any chances i had with y/n. she just walked in on me making out with another girl.” kk told her best friend, trying to catch her breath from running down the flight of stairs. “why would you even make out with someone else if you wanted her so bad? are you actually stupid?” ice was mad that kk would even do something like that, wanting a girl then making out with another, it made no sense. “i haven’t done anything with anybody in a while and the girl offered so why not take up that offer?” kk said, half joking. kk thought about where you could’ve went, “she left second she came back down here.” ice said as she took a sip of her drink. “great.” was all kk said as she plopped down next to her best friend.

-

kk was all you could think about while you laid in bed, trying to sleep. after seeing her kissing another girl it made you realize how in love with her you were. you wished you were the one she was kissing, not some random girl at a house party who probably just wanted to use kk for sex. the image of her and the other girl kept replaying in your head again and again, you couldn’t take it anymore so you tried to watch tiktok to forget about kk and the stupid girl she was with. when you opened tiktok the first thing you seen was an edit of kk. “oh my God.” you said out loud as you got off the app and turned on your tv. you decided to just watch some netflix until you fell asleep.

when you woke up with a mild headache, you didn’t drink too much so your hang over wasn’t as bad as it usually was when you drank. you got up and took some medicine to ease the headache and drank water to help the pill go down your throat. you grabbed your phone and seen that symphony had texted you a few times asking if you were okay, you told her about how all you thought about was kk last night and how when you opened tiktok she was the first thing you seen. you two continued to text about what happened last night and other random things until symphony just randomly stopped texting you back for a good 20 minutes. you brushed it off and went on with your day, thinking she was busy or her phone died. in reality, symphony got a text from kk’s best friend, ice, on instagram.

-instagram direct messages-

@ice.brady: hey this is symphony right?

@symphony_roy: yea why?

@ice.bradyy: be honest, does y/n like kk bc kk likes her a lot and doesn’t believe me that y/n likes her back. @ice.bradyy: pls tell me i promise to not show kk like fr

@symphony_roy: yes 😭 ive been telling y/n since the day she told me that kk is gay and likes her back but her slow ass won’t believe me

@ice.brady: bro they act the same way exact same way 😭@ice.bradyy: anyway the reason im texting you is bc i think we should make them go in a blind date but don’t tell them the gender of the person bc i don’t want them to find out immediately

@symphony_roy: wait that’s a really good idea @symphony_roy: but we need to plan this more before we dive right into it

-real life-

after they planned out their entire plan, symphony went to your dorm. “hey.” you greeted as she barged in, using the spare key you had gave her. “so…. how do you feel about blind dates?” she asked while clasping her hands together, taking a seat on the couch next to you. “uhm, they’re okay i guess… why?” you reply while stopping what you were doing on your phone and side eyeing her. “because you’re going on one on monday.” symphony stated, “what?!?” you yelled while whipping your head to look at her, “i did not sign up for that!” symphony just stared at you, a small smirk on her face. “well, you’re going on it, i don’t care what you say.” symphony shrugged while getting up and leaving, “bye, remember you have a date in two days, i’ll send you the details later.” she closed the door.

-

when you woke up you seen kk had followed you back on every app you followed her on, seeing this made your stomach do backflips. you were a bit embarrassed because you had followed her for ages and she just now followed you back but you didn’t really care because atleast she followed you. as the day went on you kept stalking kk, being careful to not like any super old pictures on instagram or old tiktoks. you were stalking so hard you even found her mom’s facebook page. in the middle of your stalking, symphony barged in your room, “okay so what are you gonna wear tomorrow?” she asked while sitting at the edge of your bed, facing you. “i don’t know, probably jean shorts and a crop top.” you shrugged, “basic as hell. wear something more revealing, you gotta show off all that ass to them.” she half-joked, “bro then you find my outfit.” you sighed at her.

symphony went to your closet and started to look through everything to find the perfect outfit for you. after about 10 minutes she found a short, tight, light pink dress. you bought it last month and never got the chance to wear it. “it’s perfect, i’ll tell your date to wear something on the nicer side. you guys will look so cute together.” she smiled while holding the dress up. you were still unsure on the whole blind date thing but you were kind of excited for it, maybe you’ll meet your soulmate. you had thought about who it could be and you thought about it being kk but you weren’t sure if symphony would do something like that.

symphony stayed over for the rest of the day and didn’t go home until sunset. you two talked about life, ordered pizza, and watched a few movies sherrie she went back to her dorm. you were too nervous to go to bed, knowing that the next day at 7pm you would be meeting up with a potential complete stranger for dinner.

-

the whole day you were super nervous and could barely think straight. part of you was thinking about just not going but you know if you did that then symphony would rip you a new one. you were hoping the date was a girl and hoping it was kk but you knew it wasn’t gonna be her, kk was just making out with another girl 2 days ago, she wouldn’t switch that fast, or so you thought. at around 6:00 you started getting ready, putting on the dress and some white heels that made you an inch taller, and putting on light makeup. symphony showed up to your dorm at 6:34, “im taking you to the restaurant because im gonna sit a table or two away and watch yall.” she said with a huge smile on her face. you nodded in response and continued to get ready.

on the way there you were so nervous to where you thought you could throw up. the whole car ride you were silent and had short answers when symphony talked to you. “y/n its okay i promise. dont worry about anything. all you gotta do is meet this person, talk to them, eat dinner, then you’re done.” symphony reassured you, keeping her eyes on the road. you sighed and tried to think on the bright side of it, if you didn’t like this person then you’d probably never have to talk to them again. as you got closer you got more and more nervous but you kept thinking about what symphony said and it helped it go down.

when you two got to the restaurant you immediately got out and walked into the restaurant. symphony pointed, “your date’s already here.” you stopped dead in your tracks and whipped your head towards her. “is this some kind of prank?” you asked while wide eyes. “nope. your date is kk.” symphony laughed while pushing you towards the table. “symphony you’re fucking lying.” you said while trying to resist her pushing you. “i’m not, now go sit down and talk to her.” she said while pushing you again and walking away. you sighed before slowly walking over to the table that kk was at. when she looked up from her phone she paused for a second before she realized that you were her blind date. when you sat down it was quiet for a second before she said something. “hey y/n. how’s life been?” she said, not knowing what else to say. “it’s been fine, how about you?” you asked her, “good. did you know that i was your date?” kk asked with a smile. “no, symphony literally came into my dorm and told me that i was going on a blind date, didn’t tell me anything else.” you two laughed and continued to talk.

the night went very well, you two talked about everything under the sun and flirted a lot. symphony and ice were watching from a few tables over and talked about how cute you two were together. “i’m glad they made us go on this date.” you admitted while admiring kk, looking her up and down. “i agree, maybe i can get your number or something?” kk asked, “yea.” you say as you proceed to tell her your number. after she got your number the flirting was nonstop, now she was certain you liked her back. the rest of the night you two continued to talk about random stuff and even talked about going on another date.

at free you guys paid for the food snd drink you both went over to symphony and ice’s table. “hey guys.” ice said with a smirk, “do yall wanna go to a club or something?” symphony asked while standing up. “sure why not.” you said, “okay i’ll send you the address.” symphony said, talking to ice. ice nodded and you all went to the cars. “so how was it?” symphony questioned you the moment you both got in the car, “we were flirting the whole time and she asked for my number.” you answered, “aren’t you glad i made you go on this date?” she smiled while pulling out of the parking lot and driving to the bar, you nodded and told her more about the date.

after you got your ID’s checked, kk grabbed your hand and pulled you into the bathroom. “what’s wrong?” you asked when you reached a stall. “nothing.” she mumbled before kissing you, you immediately kiss back. the kiss felt magical, the way your lips fit together perfectly made your stomach do frontflips. you relunctsntly pulled away for air, “damn.” was all kk could say as she went back for more.

==================================

i’m so sorry this took like 2 months to get out but i still hope you enjoyed!! i hope you have a good day/night, love you 💋💋

[samswinchesters]

✨ let's play 10 Qs for GK! 🎆

1- fave character besides harvey/twoface? 2- fave harvey/twoface scene? 3- fave dynamic between 2 characters? 4- best character development? 5- most memorable line? 6- fave plot twist? 7- what did you think of twoface? 8- something you loved about the creation/design? 9- anything you would change about the season 1 plot or characters? 10- what did you think of the season 2 setup?

💌 thanks for sharing the love! #GothamKnights 🦇💋

SLAYYYYY i love quesitons about htingsss this is how i look rn answeirng these btw 👇🏽

in addition to harvey/two face (because he really was showstopper sawwy to the knights), but i reallyyyyy adore duela. not only was she hilarious, her character arc/development throughout the show was great. always enjoyed whenever she was on screen i was like omfgggg my bestie !!

where do i even begin......the one that sticks out in my little brain of mine is when harvey overdoses on his anxiety meds and meets face to face with harv/fugue!harvey. that was absolutely incredible and i replay that scene in my head like a rotisserie chicken bc those writers put their whole pussy into it

at first i was going to say duela and carrie because their dynamic was soooo much fun but after 1x13, harvey and duela pulled my heartstrings like damnnnnnn i did ackshully tear up at that monologue naurrr don't let my mutuals know that. honorable mention are the row siblings because WAHHHHHHH 🥺😭 they mean so much to me

i mentioned duela's development in my first answer and i am not very eloquent with words if we're being honest but the way that she gained a sense of purpose and wanting to actually help gotham through all the trials and tribulations that were thrown at her...really wish we got to see more of that

it's a toss up between "big dent energy" and "guess who rode of the bat wang" .....honestly anything that comes out of duela's mouth is funny as hell who let her be that way

hmmmmmmmmmmm my fave was def harvey being duela's dad. did i call it from a mile away? yes, but it was absolutely satisfying to be right. i actually cheered out loud and punched the air MWAHHH

gosh, when we finally got to see his whole entire face, that shit was absolutely terrifying in a good way. interesting way of how rebecca was the one to toss that acid on his face. sadly, as much as it was all scrumdillyumptious, two face had like a total of three minutes of screentime and we will more than likely never see him again....does anyone have james gunn's number i need to ask him for a favor,

im not following any of the cast and crew of gk pero i have seen some of their tweets and the level of dedication these people put into the show....anyways, everything was so well thought out,,,i nominate the bat cave that shit was really cool. loved the water concept since it wasn't done before in the dc universe

LOL ermmmm, *scratches neck* is this thing on.....NOT to be mean or anything but i wish there was more action. as much as i luv the pauses for breath, i also luvvv ffight sequences. also a part of me thinks the show dragged a little. i know it was only 13 episodes but 18 would've been better. and though i loved the funny bits, sometimes i wish the show took itself seriously. they tried to target to gen z but mannn, at times i had to kinda duck my head bc it was embarrassing and i'm not even gen z. idkk i cant be too harsh on the show bc they did what they could and i enjoyed it overall!!

where is the s2 blueprint ik they're sitting somewhere in the producers' houses....but yeah, i actually liked how gotham knights ended! it works well ffor a mini series. the ambiguity of it all is ripe with possibilities for the fans to gnaw on. turner being trained to become the next batman, the gotham knights putting their boots back on to save the city thinking turner is gone for good, harvey allowing harv to take over with the potential of becoming a major problem....tag me in any stories you write, you guys 👍🏽❤

[sprinklesandshatters]

A Review on NCT 127′s 3rd Album <Sticker>

So NCT 127 just came back with their 3rd Full Album <Sticker> and this is my first 127 comeback since I became a fan last year! Neozone is such a special album for me as it was their first album that I explored entirely. I've known NCT as the group who never fails any expectations so I've kept mine up although I know they'll exceed it anyway. And guess what, they did! I absolutely love their new album hence this review~

This isn't a technical music review—as I am not a musician myself—but rather a listener's honest takes, goofy notes, and interpretation on each of the tracks in the album. I admit I've also struggled to build my own opinions on some of the tracks until I listened to them over and over again.

I have also heard there are mixed opinions on the title track <Sticker> and a lot says it's another acquired taste. But I think it's not just that, as it can be a grower, just like how most of NCT's songs were for me. Maybe after a few listens and a right passage of time, it will grow on those people. The bottom line here is, I like it a lot! 😛

So I listed down the songs according to their respective track numbers and followed each with a bulleted list of my opinions and interpretations.

(Viewer/reader discretion: before you continue, minors, do not interact as there are few 18+ contents under the cut. Thank you.)

1. Sticker

THEY DIDN'T JUST PUNCH A NEW NOTCH ON THE BELT LIKE THAT

THIS SONG SLAPS, LITERALLY SLAPS… AND WHIPS 

The recorder at the intro boyyyy I thought something was wrong but then I remember it’s NCT lmao

It already stuck in my head from my first listen from the Instagram audio.

With Taeyong opening the verse with his divine rapping, I knew I'm in for a new ride.

STICK-UH STICK-UGH STICK-UGHGHGH

To those complaining it sounding like noise music, imagine it sounding generic. I don't think it would fit as the title track. Not a b-track or in their repertoire, even. They are called NCT because they define the NEO in the music culture and music technology!

It honestly was an unorthodox, just like all of their title tracks, which I’m inherently here for.

Literally, no one does it like them!

The growls and the vocal flexes and adlibs! (You can tell it has Yoo Youngjin's brand.)

The crisp metronome sound that’s consistently ticking except for the pre-chorus and the dance break adds depth to the soundscape. I love how it’s used instead of the usual snaps.

The production quality blew my mind. Like how can someone think those melodies would sound so exquisite? CAN I CALL THEM GENIUS?

The piano at the back, oh my God—Yes! It adds this mystifying element to the song.

I'm not sure if it's a midi violin at the pre-chorus, but it added thrill to the song. It was a great transition from the bass line in the verses to the combination of the flawless harmony with the same instrumental.

"You treat me like a boy, like a grown-up child chasing a dream" JUNGWOO BABY NO MORE HUH

Taeil, Doyoung, and Haechan—the bridge vocal trinity!

But why the heck are they cowboys? I dig the concept, but why? LMAO

BTW GUNSLINGER MARK I’M ON MY KNEES YEEHAW

This is easily one of my favorite tracks from NCT 127's entire discography 💚

2. Lemonade

(⌐■_■)

Jaehyun starting off this song with his deep voice eee

The song opens to a verse oozing with chill confidence. They're like, yeah you're lurking because we’re cool.

This is such a huge slap to their haters. NCT's not chillin' like a villain, nah they're the main characters!

Well maybe they’re villains, but still ya not cooler than them ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Funny enough how they could have just referred haters as simply lemons whose sour/bitter to the taste, but 127 squad's success is sweeter than all the haters' spiteful remarks so yeah, SIPPY SIPPY LEMONADE 🧃

"WOOF"

I might have just barked too wOW

Yuta’s vocals hooooO his voice just sounds so glamorous mhmm

Also Mark referencing their previous title tracks such as: Firetruck, Cherry Bomb, and Regular (it's Irregular in the lyrics) in his rap part 👌💅

I just love Mark's energy when he raps. HE RESOLUTELY BITES AND STRAIGHT UP EATS EVERY TIME HE DOES.

3. Breakfast

Now breakfast time, oh jeez!

AAAHAHFU—

Summer 127's bestie!

If Summer 127 talks about dancing all night long, Breakfast is the morning after.

You know what it is.

"Even if I gulp and drink you, it's not enough for me." oho Taeyong no you ha—STOP

Sexual innuendos aside, isn't it just sweet if someone tells you they'd want to have breakfast with you every day?  Okay maybe I'm melting at the thought 😩🙈💞

And I can see myself dancing to this song as I make breakfast (in the afternoon or at midnight bc I’m crazy)

This was an okay b-track for me at the first skim on the album, but boy it grew on me wildly.

Honestly one of my favorite tracks in this album.

4. Focus

Did I just invade a private call? LMAO

The analog voice filters make it like so.

Dude, this feels intimate in the level of eavesdropping a phone call between seasoned lovers. Then you realize you hear them whispering their kinks over the line and you're ooh, that's sexy! hfgklhfhf

My first listen to this, I almost went feral because,

"I can't wait to eat you…" when it's actually "I can't wait 'til we chill…" aahaha

"Baby call me when you want me." OKAY!

This sounds relaxing and chill. I'd love to play this on a late night drive or just before bed time along with Fly Away With Me, Sun & Moon, My Youth, and Long Flight.

Belongs to ‘make out session’ playlist  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

That was lowkey a playlist recommendation, huh?

I'd be kidding if I don't say I could touch myself while listening to this song AHAHAFGHFJFJ

I didn't know this would grow on me this much lol I love love LOVE THIS!

5. The Rainy Night

Ooh, the holy melancholy!

Piano at the intro—I knew I'd cry to this.

This song isn't just about break-up, but the heartbreak after one.

The yearning; the remnant pieces from the shattering of what was once there.

I think I crumbled from this one.

This hit so hard I felt like I fit in the shoes with the lyrics throughout the entire song.

What’s fascinating is I clearly forgot the title when I mentally said this sounds like a sad rainy day song from the first listen.

Something I’d turn up when it suddenly rains, just because I want to feel the blues.

Taeil and Haechan singing in lower register? I wanna cry :( they’re just one of the best vocalists in K-music industry right now.

Could have been also nice if they added Yuta to the vocals.

"My selfish heart who waits for you to come back," OKAY WHO HURT THEM?

And the fact that they sang it so good that it translated every ounce of the emotions well even before I looked up for English translations is the reason why I love this song too.

6. Far

Hmm… What the hell?! Do I like this? Wait...

Alright!

The jumpy vibe from the first verse to the pre-chorus set the mood for this song. It sounds merry and heavy. It was honestly too much to take until I’ve reached the chorus part.

Honestly, I think this song could fit NCT Dream better, as it gives off a vibe similar to Hello Future's b-tracks. If some credible source say this could have made HF’s track list, I might believe you too fast.

Also Dream’s Deja Vu where they go na nananananana na na na~

Playful yet confident! That’s what I mean!

As usual, the vocals are insane! Vocal flex from left to right!

I swear Jungwoo sounded a bit like Taemin at the second verse that I had to replay it hahaha

I love hearing Johnny as a vocalist! SM, how many signs do you need until you utilize his vocal talent???

Taeil's part where he sings, "go nuts, go nuts, 'til we go bust, go bust" IDEK BUT I SNORTED A LAUGH AT FIRST LISTEN HFCAHKFHK

Not my favorite, but still great though!

But wait it’s actually stuck in my head???

7. Bring The Noize

Yes, they never beat those noise music allegations

HERE'S SOME NOIZE, BITCHES

I love me some noisy percussions. AND THE BASS YO

This screams so much confidence!

The build up from the pre-chorus to the chorus—FIRE!

This song reminds me a lot of SuperM's Super Car, especially with the engine roar samples and the battle cry-like singing at the chorus.

JAEHYUN RAPPING? You mean Jaehyun the visual, the vocalist, the actor, the model, the funny dude, aka my everything?! (markie bb look pls look away for a moment)

THEY DELIVERED IT STRAIGHT FROM NEOCITY THAT'S SOME NCT MUSIC RIGHT THERE NO ONE DOES IT LIKE THEM

When I said I'd play Focus on a late night drive, and if I add this in the playlist, VROOM VROOM SPEED LIMIT WHAT

OUTTA MY WAY

“We got no shame” ouh TAEYONG’S FLOW IS JUST VERY HIM AND HE’S IN A LEAGUE OF HIS OWN

You know what's so clever about this song? It's how it ended with Mark's final rap without any instrumental, leaving you  standing there with a doppler effect-like post experience.

A super car on a super speed just whooshed past you and you look its way as it zips through the road. It's gone in an instant but you're floored dumbfounded at a sidewalk. That's how I describe this song.

8. Magic Carpet Ride

This song… Wow. Oh gosh it's so beautiful.

Their harmony in the chorus—it makes me want to kiss someone so passionately that I'd cry.

This makes me want to feel love that transcends the universe. Literally, just please take me on a magic carpet ride :(

The background harmonies too oh my goodness—HEAVENLY.

Jaehyun's voice is so warm and soulful it fits perfectly with songs of this genre.

Okay alright Doyoung Grande!

And Taeil makes me feel like I'm listening to old school R&B.

The first time I heard this from the track video, I can't stop replaying because it's just that great.

This makes me want to love. I think that sums it up.

9. Road Trip

This is such a soothing song for me, especially how I easily become nostalgic thinking about the road trips I've had.

Whenever I listen to this, my brain immediately conjures up thoughts of my ideal getaways. Gazing at the sky through the car window, stirring up from a nap in the middle of the ride, and   eventually reaching your destination.

Oh, to travel around anywhere... (curse you covid-19)

Okay that's it. I'M PACKING UP.

But where do I go—

I could also imagine Mark playing this on the guitar and the other members sing along together, something like that.

Just Wholesome™ vibes.

I love how it evokes such a nice emotion within me effortlessly.

This isn't my favorite, but I still love this.

10. Dreamer

Eyyyy such a refreshing song!

This song is so bright it makes me want to dance. I play this first in the shower!

It reminds me so much of Elevator (from Neozone)

The horns make it more lively I think!

Yuta and Jungwoo's voice suits lively songs like this.

The background vocal in low register in Taeyong's part in the first verse is so good ahhfhf

Taeil, the R&B vocal king you are...

There's this part where Doyoung and Johnny harmonized, that at first listen they seemed to clash, but it sounded actually fine after a few listens. Maybe it's just that I've never heard them do it before.

And I think it's Doyoung's laugh at the end of the bridge? Oh my goodness I really love this too!

11. Promise You

MY FIRST LOVE AND MOST FAVORITE SONG IN THE ALBUM!!!

The first time I heard this from their NCIT Sharehouse Sitcom, I fell in love with the song already.

It sounds like something you'd feel from a warm, welcoming hug.

The lyrics are so beautiful and endearing. It's definitely a be-there-for-you type of song that will touch your heart.

It definitely sounds like a promise.

A song about platonic intimacy.

This really fits to be the closing song of the album. It's like the end of it but holds a promise that says “see you soon.”

Because they cherish their fans like that.

It's also like I've watched a movie with a happy ending, where the camera pans up to the clear sky and this song starts playing.

Speaking of ending, I would love to hear them sing this as an encore stage in their concert. You know, that moment just before the stage lights die down at the end of the concert where they send final blows of flying kisses to NCTzens. Then you come home smiling and crying.

This wasn't supposed to be this long since I originally planned to write this with just simple phrases and emojis but I got too engrossed lol. I also meant to include my own ratings but I figured it’s pointless since I can’t really decide about them hahaha

I really enjoyed the whole album and I love how they're progressively defining what NEO means by breaking through standards. It's not NCT music if it doesn't make you say "WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?" But then you realize it’s stuck in your head and you’re enjoying it already.

✨ OVERALL RATING: 127/10 💚

if you’ve reached until here, thank you for letting me share you a braincell or two 💞

[buckys-forgotten-plum]

Hold Me Tighter ||3||

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Summary: Peter and reader have a talk and Bucky overhears. 

Warnings: Swearing I think? A big of angst, fluff, Buck jumping to conclusions bc he’s a soft dummie...

A/N: Hej hej friends, it’s been a bit since i’ve posted something. My life has been wild and though i’ve been working on various things I have yet to complete said various things. Hopefully posting this gets me back into the groove. Please enjoy and give me feedback as its very much appreciated!! <3

Part ||1||   Part ||2||

~~~~~~

“Do you have an ace?” 

“Nope, go fish,” 

“Do you have a crush on Bucky?” 

You almost drop your hand full of cards on the ground as the words leave the man's mouth. 

“Wha-Peter!” 

“What? It kinda looks obvious, on both sides, but it’s like you guys or holding back or something,” Peter shrugs nonchalantly as he plucks a card from the deck before laying down another set of matches. 

You pout, “Why are you so good at this game?” 

“Answer my question first,” He laughs lightly while playfully nudging your shoulder with his fist. 

You and Peter had been the ones left at the tower while the team was on their latest mission. You felt grateful for the company, or at least you did before he started asking questions while he taught you how to play various card games. The pair of you sat facing each other, legs crossed and knees almost touching as the deck of cards sat in the middle. 

“I dunno… Maybe?” You could feel the fire in your cheeks and ears as you answered, forgetting to ask if Pete had a card and taking straight from the deck instead. 

Peter smiled widely and set down the few cards he still had, putting his full attention on you, “That’s great, Y/n! I think he likes you too! Why haven’t you guys gotten together yet? You spend like every day with each other when Bucky isn’t on a mission. He even cooks for you all the time and I’ve never seen him do that with anyone-” 

“Peter, it's not like that. I’m pretty sure he just thinks of me as like… A charity case or something. He’s helped me a lot since I’ve gotten here but it was solely because he felt obligated too. Kind of like when you find a puppy on the street,” You set your cards down to the side as well, using your free hands to nervously tangle your fingers together. 

“That's ridiculous! Y/n he calls you pet names all the time, he carries you around, I even saw him kiss your cheek before he left!” Peter points an accusatory finger at you. 

Your eyes widen in shock and you stutter before responding, “Why are you paying so much attention to us? It’s weird how much you notice...And besides, lately he hasn’t really been the same. He tells me that he’s always busy with training or meetings or something, and I get that it happens, especially with what you guys do! But it just feels like he’s been avoiding me lately,” 

“The whole team has noticed! You guys have done almost everything but make it official,” The man sighs exasperatedly before leaning forward and pressing his forehead against yours, a silly habit the two of you developed for serious conversations, making you giggle a bit before pushing back, “You should talk with him about it dude,”

You keep your forehead pressed against Pete's, sighing quietly before responding, “I just think… If he doesn’t feel the same way, then everything is going to change. He won’t want to spend time with me anymore, or talk to me, he won’t wanna watch movies with me… He just- he won’t be able to think of me as more than just the silly mutant that’s been obsessed with him for as long as she’s known him,” Your face had scrunched up into a scowl as you thought about what life would be like without Bucky by your side. 

“Hey, hey, hey! He won’t do that, I promise. Bucky isn’t like that, he’d never just start to ignore you or think of you as some obsessed girl. It’s obvious he cares about you a lot, and I think it would be good for both of you to talk about it,” 

“I wouldn’t even know where to start-”

“Start with how you feel, put it all out in the open,” Pete says confidently.

“That’s crazy!”

“How is it crazy?” 

“I can’t just go up to him and say, ‘Hey I don’t know if you’ve noticed but I’ve been deeply enthralled and have wanted to be with you since the first time we met!’” 

Peter was about to respond, but a deep voice interrupted, “Y/n?”

You and Pete pull your heads apart and gape at the tall brunette standing in the doorway, his eyebrows pulled together in a frown and his eyes full of confusion. “Bucky I-” 

He puts a hand up before you can continue, “I um-I gotta go shower. Sorry I interrupted you guys,” 

You sat frozen on the floor as Bucky quickly made his exit, Peter switching his gaze between you and the now empty doorway. “Oh my god-” he muttered in absolute bewilderment.

“Wh-what just happened? What should I do? Oh my god he hates me! He’ll never speak to me again-” 

“No! No, no, no it’s fine! Just a misunderstanding! You need to go after him and clear it up,” Peter tells you, hurriedly standing up before grabbing your hands and helping you stand. “You need to tell him everything Y/n. *Everything.*” 

You nod your head in agreement, starting for the doorway, “Thanks pete, I’ll see you later,” 

Peter’s response doesn’t quite register as you quickly walk down the maze of hallways, trying to find the fastest possible route to Bucky’s room. Your heart felt like it was pounding hard enough to escape your chest. 

You let out a yelp as you suddenly hit a wall, “Oh hey kid, you seen Barnes yet? He was lookin for ya,” Tony’s hands are on each of your arms to steady you as he begins to ask how your week with Peter went. 

You can’t focus on any of his questions, solely focused on fixing the mess you had made. 

“Kid? You okay?” Tony steps closer to you, his overbearing father coming out as he reaches up to check your temperature, “hmm maybe we should get you to med, you feel a little hot,” 

“Tony I’m fine-” You try and back out of his grasp but he holds onto you firmly. 

“Hey if you’re gettin’ a fever we want to catch it quick-” 

“I don’t have a fever, please-” 

“C’mon, it’ll only take a minute,”

“Oh my god, goodbye!” You huff out before pushing Tony away from you and using your power to disappear from the hallway. 

Tony lets out an annoyed sigh, “If you get anyone else sick you’re the one who’s taking care of them!” he shouts into the empty space. 

You however, had already popped up outside of Bucky’s door, your hands clenched into fists of stress and nerves. Your right hand went to open the door but when you tried to twist the handle it didn’t budge. 

“Friday can you let me in?”

“Mr. Barnes has specified to not be bothered for the time being,” The AI responded simply. 

You let out a huff of frustration, “Okay well it’s either you unlock the door and let me in or I just pop up in there, so…”

There was a moment of silence before you heard the quiet click of the door unlocking, making you smile victoriously, “Thank you, Friday,” 

Bucky was still in the bathroom with the door closed when you had entered his room. You took a quick look around before deciding to sit on the bed and wait for him to be done. Your fingers began to tangle and pull at themselves in a stressful manner and you couldn’t help the tight feeling in your chest. It only got worse when you heard the running water turn off and the sound of Bucky drying and dressing himself. 

When Bucky opens the door, the both of you freeze in place, eyes locked on to each other for what felt like ages. 

Bucky is the first to break eye contact and move, “I thought I told Friday I didn’t want any visitors,” he mumbles quietly, going over to toss the damp towel in his hands into a laundry hamper.

“I uh- I told her I would just pop in anyways…” 

“Shouldn’t invade people's privacy like that, kid,” his cold tone made you cringe, “can’t start abusing your power like that,”

“Listen Bucky, I came here to explain-” 

“You don’t gotta explain anything to me. I saw what I saw, it’s not a big deal,” he interrupts you and avoids your eyes as he begins to unpack from his mission. 

“Except I think you might not understand entirely-” you begin only to be interrupted again. 

“No! No, I get it. Pete is a good kid, good morals, good background. I can see why you’d like him, it makes sense,” Bucky’s voice was clearly stressed as he spoke and it just made your chest tighten even more. 

“Bucky no-” 

“He’s closer to your age, you have a lot in common, spend a lot of time together…”

“Why is everyone interrupting me today?” you groan out in frustration before getting up off of the bed and walking over to the disgruntled man. 

You move to sit on the other side of the duffle bag he continues to empty, still avoiding your eyes. You let out a huff of annoyance and quickly grab hold of Bucky's hands, bringing them to a pause. 

“Kid, I gotta unpack-”

“No. Not until you let me say what I need to say. Without interrupting me,” You state firmly.

Bucky visibly clenches his jaw, giving you a small nod to continue, “You didn’t hear me say those words to Peter-” 

“Yes I di-” “What did I just say? No interruptions!” 

Bucky sighs, “Sorry,” 

You take another breath before restarting, “You didn’t hear me say those words to Peter. You heard me telling him about what I’d say to someone else,” 

Bucky’s face scrunches up in confusion as he replays your words in his head, trying to put the pieces together, but failing. “Who were you going to say-” 

“You! Ya big dummy. I was telling Peter what I would say to you,” You blurt out with a breath of exasperation. 

Bucky shook his head, as if to try and wake himself up from a daydream, “Are you serious?”

“Yes! Of course I am, Buck. I- Peter said that it would be good for the both of us if I admitted my true feelings for you, and I didn’t know what I would say, so he suggested that I just flat out tell you, and…” You trail off, hoping the older can figure out the rest on his own. 

“And that’s when I walked in? When you had figured out what exactly you’d say?” 

“More or less, yeah,” you answer quietly, giving Bucky’s hands a gentle squeeze to try and bring even more reassurance. 

“Why were you so close to each other?” You looked back up to Bucky, a smile gracing your features as his gaze finally met yours. 

“Because we were having a serious discussion. Isn’t that what everyone does?” You ask, brows slightly knit in confusion.

Bucky chuckles and shakes his head, “No I think that’s only you two,” 

“Oh…” 

The two of you sit in silence for a few minutes, mulling over what you’d like to say next and trying to organize your thoughts. When Bucky didn’t say anything for a while you decided to continue on, “So um...Do you maybe uh-maybe do you feel the same way? About me?”

Bucky doesn’t even wait a beat to answer, “Oh my god yes! Yes I’ve felt the same way for ages, doll!” 

Your eyes widen in disbelief as you take in the new information, “You have?”

Bucky nods his head, a smile on his face as he looks into your eyes, “Sweetheart I’ve been head over heels for you since I first caught you in midair,” he chuckles. 

You grin at Bucky and feel the familiar flickering of your powers take place, knowing your emotions were much too strong to stop it. Within the blink of an eye you had popped out of existence and popped right back up into Bucky’s lap, making him fall over in a huff of laughter. 

You wrap your arms around his neck and bury your face into the softness of his hair, “What gives then you goof? Why didn’t you say anything?” 

Bucky wraps his arms around your waist and gives you a tight squeeze, “Once you started gettin’ the hang of your powers and began training with the rest of the team, I dunno… It felt like you didn’t need me there for you anymore, I didn’t want to risk holding you back from making new friends and connections,” Your heart split in two hearing Bucky’s explanation.

You pull your face out of his lovely smelling hair and stare into the soldier's pretty blue eyes, “That’s silly Bubba. You would never hold me back! You’re the reason why I’m so comfortable around everyone now. You gave me the strength to get out of my comfort zone,” Bucky grinned at your words and shook his head, mentally chiding himself for being so foolish. 

“M’sorry lovie, I guess I got in my own head about everything. Almost messed it all up too because I got so upset when I saw you and Peter,” Your chest swelled with happiness when he calls you one of your favorite nicknames, knowing the two of you were back to normal. 

“It’s okay! I can understand why you thought what you did. But I promise I’ve only ever been deeply enthralled with you,” You laugh and push your forehead up against Bucky’s, making him let out a deep melody of chuckles. 

“Does this mean I don’t have to hold back anymore? I can love on you as much as I want?” Bucky pairs his question with an affectionate nuzzle in the crook of your neck before looking back up into your gleeful eyes. 

You giggle and brush your nose up against his as you nod your head, “You coulda done that before,” 

Bucky’s hands move from around your waist to your thighs, easily lifting the both of you up from the plush carpet, “M’never lettin’ you go ever again. Gonna hold on real tight, sweet girl.” 

You keep your arms wrapped around his neck and try to pull Bucky closer, burying your face back into the crook of his neck and breathing him in. He moves the two of you over to his bed and flops down onto it, pulling the both of you under the covers and tangling his legs with yours. The two of you stay like that for what feels like ages.

A perfectly content tangle of happiness and relief. 

[luckyqueenreign]

Okay girl I need to vent and have a favor to ask:

1. Why the fuck is Nicholas trying to tell us what our hubby’s biggest turn on is??!!! Like we were dating him for over a year and there have been scenes in challenges talking about this already. Lazy writing on FB’s part

2. I was slightly mean to Meera but for whatever reason I can’t be mean in this game (I always fear that I won’t win if I am bc on a different season that I played twice, the time I was drama and mean to everyone I didn’t win haha)- all that to say can you give us screengrabs of the Meerat convos when you’re mean to her? Especially the gem scene cause I didn’t do that one!

3. Please don’t hate me but I’m leading Finn on. Picked his route because the drama I do like in this game is when I play the boys. So I’m going to keep Finn and Suresh both on their toes and pick the options for yes with both! Whoever I end up picking, I’ll replay again from these episodes to pick the opposite. Also F U fusebox for telling us things were going to get steamy in the shower with Finn this week and the only thing steamy was the actual shower steam😐 I need more bits this season people!!!

4. Everyone talks about the shit that MC has been getting this season but talk about what FB is doing to Alfie mate!!! First, I don’t think there is like anyone I’ve seen actually on his route. Like FB you have DESTROYED his chance at happiness by making him attached to MC. LIKE BABE IVE TURNED YOU DOWN FOR EVERY SINGLE OPTION THIS ENTIRE SEASON AND YOU STILL HAVE FEELINGS FOR ME?! So many interactions and options this season have been wasted because he’s been a gnat that’s always around MC’s head. Like we could have had WAY more Li interactions if they just let us deny Alfie from the beginning and leave it at that.

ahahaha I thought the same thing!! I wish they added in a line like but you knew that about Suresh already or something like that.

that wont happen this season...everyone literally bullied us and I honestly believe they ADDED on these moments because of our complaints they wouldnt make us lose for bullying now. Also ill have to go back but I will post later and Ill tag you.

I could never hate you!! I actually was considering doing this as well until I saw that our choices in SMP mattered so now im wary of deviating off of Suresh route. BUT BABE DO YOU!!!!!! Also yes such a tease!!!

honestly this is so true...the only reason why I even entertained Alfie was because I saw from the leaks how deliciously jealous Suresh got whenever we kissed/did anything with Alfie. So of course I gave in and snogged him at every chance I got. But its even worse because I definitely led him on, then cheated with my ex 🫣😩 and this boy is still after me!! BUT what I recently discovered from a very helpful anon was that if you're on the Dana route, Alfie basically comes after you AGAIN in episode 34. The man has never given up on MC even when she picks Dana. I feel for him.

[nighttimepixels]

TALK TO US ABOUT MASS EFFECT I HAVE BEEN AN INSANE MASS EFFECT/SHAKARIAN TRASH PERSON SINCE 20-FUCKING-11 AND LEMME TELL YOU THOSE FEELINGS HAVENOT TARNISHED A SINGLE FRACTION IN THOSE TEN YEARS OH MY GOOOOOOODDDSSSS!!!!!!!

I DEMAND A PLAY-BY-PLAY UP TO THE MINUTE OF YOUR REACTIONS TO EVERYTHING!!!!

you are so valid and I totally see why everyone I've ever mentioned it to loves the hell out of it

aksdjlsdfj I meannnn if you want to hear my rambling about it then hell yeah

Okay, gonna put this below the cut to save everyone else XD also- since I'm not leaving this Mass Effect obsession anytime soon, if you're not interested in seeing occasional posts about it, please feel free to block the tag "night plays ME"~

(mild spoilers ahead??)

((also for real I mean it when I say this is rambling as hell lol, apologies and no stress if absolute no one reads all this))

OKAY SO Mass Effect 1-

Stars help me, I was honestly hooked right from the start?? Like even in Legendary Edition (the combined trilogy just re-released in one "can play it on one system + minor improvements", for anyone who doesn't know) where it's smoothed out, of course it's obvious that ME1 is a decade old... but the foundation for these relationships are all there and gods I love them already.

Like - Kaiden right off the top is a delightful good fightin lad, what the hell. I've heard that he's viewed as 'bland' by a good portion of the fan community but I dunno, he's a delight and even more complex by the time 2 rolls around and you encounter him on Horizon, it was honestly Ashley I was way more meh about - mostly because before you can learn about her family history/etc, she comes off as hella xenophobic and I was immediately offended for my growing space family that she didn't like/trust all the aliens around, pfff.

(she gets redeemed a bit through further actions/evolving thoughts, but I thought in retrospect it was a bummer that they didn't flip the order there, give her a chance to be liked before the complicating factor of being so rude about aliens >:c that then she could grow from... ah well. Apparently she has a good arc but uh, let's just say I chose Kaiden at the "key junction" in the latter part of the game so I won't be seeing anymore of Ashley uh... anytime soon, haha.)

Garrus??? Is??????? The ABSOLUTE best???????????

I liked him from the start, I'm always a bit of a sucker for a rogue-detective "the system won't bring this bastard to justice, so I've got to" type and all their moral shadiness XD But he just gets better, honestly, and where I'm at in ME2 (right before the Reaper IFF mission, as of typing this, with everyone's loyalty!) I am only digging myself deeper into this hole-

-*wheezing* okay anyways -

Wrex is AMAZING I love fightin' middle-aged krogan bastard, gods. Liara is great too, I'm a sucker for a wlw relationship (playing fem!Shepard, so) - buuuut I'll admit she's a bit more one-note in ME1. Last week while I was still on ME1 I remember hearing (while trying to dodge spoilers) that her arc is really good, though. I think they leaned a little hard on the 'innocent but sexy' sterteotype on her (so despite the yikes aspect of a few of the things I've learned in ME2, lol, I actually really like the complexity that's been added to her character.)

Saved Liara first, so by the time I got to Noveria and had the standoff with Benezia there was the chance to have emotions over Liara having to face her TwT and of course, I made the questionable but quality decision to free Queen Rachni heheh. no ragrets

More than a blow-by-blow of my choices though I totally wanna take the chance to say that even in the mild jankiness of ME1 (goddammit, the Mako.... please..... please just go up this impossible cliff I just want to resource hunt-) the way that the lore, both obvious/key to main plot and the lesser/filler/background/world-building kinds... I just love it. It incorporates it well, you can go ham in the codex learning more, or just dive into the basics - it's clearly a complex galaxy (and they do an even better job in 2 of fleshing it out further), and it never really felt overwhelming. It was pretty natural figuring it all out-!

Plus the interesting implications of resource hunting amongst the sapient races, and the little side missions you better bet I did every one of- there's so much rich depth in the story if you do 'em!! (And that lead with that Keeper side mission...? Looking back, damn, clever foreshadowing-!!!)

And oh my gods, Ilios??? hell yeah. I loved that mission so much, especially having Garrus & Kaiden with me when talking to the hologram/computer, and more than anything, that last sprint in the Mako trying to get to the jump before it closed-???

yeet the boi-

Also mannn I love a good setpiece, and having to go up the side of the elevator, space-side?? such a cool setup!!

Plus it felt good having been Paragon enough (as simple as the good v bad vibe system is, I don't hate it, lol) to avoid one of the Saren fights, ngl. And the er, "second fight" with Sovereign-Saren.... hell yeah

... I'll admit I had to double check my choice re whether to save the Council. I did in the end, but I swear, sometimes the way they phrase things I'm like ".... okay but Garrus is right, defeating Sovereign is more important than these few leaders??????" woops. Listen, priorities, is all I'm saying..... (￣ヮ￣|||)ゞ

'Course later they emphasize (in ME2) that there were 10,000 people on that same ship and I was like well I wouldn't have second guessed if I'd known that, I mean c'mon-

Also I did indeed romance Liara in this one, so I got that scene ;Dc But,,,, I also knew by the end that I was totally gonna romance Garrus in 2 since he's an option then finally,,,,, lemme tell you the guilt as I waffled over whether to romance Liara bc of it. hahaha.

Aaaaand Mass Effect 2-

So I'm only up to right before the Reaper IFF Mission, so I don't know the ending, etc etc lol. That said, I've just finished every side mission I've found with the exception of the Shadowbroker Quest and the Arrival Quest (I've heard the latter basically leads into ME3, and the former is best either right before the Omega 4 jump or in postgame).

So from the start - fuck yeah fuck yeah what a high adrenaline start Shepard noooooo but also yes save Joker aH-

The motion comic too hot damn nice job

I loved this setup, seriously - especially forcing Shep into this situation, having to work with/for Cerberus, and the compelling reasoning given behind "why" they do what they do (I especially found it a good point that the Salarians have the Task Force, the Asaris the Commandos, the Turians the- etc... like, true, when you put it like that, having a similar group advancing human interests/solving human interstellar problems is pretty reasonable...). That said, I love too that it really isn't shied away from how Cerberus is nonetheless fucked up - or its at least done fucked up stuff.

Listen, I still think some messed up stuff is gonna be revealed in 2's endgame......... after that Horizon mission and the Collector's ship???? TIM I SEE YOU YOU SHADY MF-

aaanyways lol...

I'm so so glad on a gameplay level they nixed the Mako style exploration. A few Hammerhead missions are fine and a lot more focused than the slippery ass navigation in that glorified ATV, pfff. The probes are a neat way of getting after similar resources - and more importantly, having good levels and some good hubs (the Zakera Wards, Omega, Ilium, etc) is way way more fun than having a more 'sprawling' space that is.... a lot of empty nonsense, lol.

Then there's the fact that we get Joker right off the bat and you can interact with him so much - and him and EDI??? Get out gods I love them. Kasumi is so right when she says they sound like a bickering old married couple lol. I have a terrible feeling that some shit is gonna happen with EDI..... but I don't think she's evil as-is, at least.

Side-eying the hell out of those "access forbidden" parts of her that she doesn't even know.... and the fact that her AI core has a locked door access................... something's gonna happen gdi LEAVE OUR ADOPTED AI ALONE.

(Also Joker pls stop fracturing your thumb on the mute button)

Also please save me there are so many hot aliens in this game,,,,, the xeno/monsterfuckers really comin' through strong in the sequels............... doin' the lord's work........................................

In general, I love how many levels ME stepped up in two with complexity and interwoven narratives!! Like, to the point it'd be almost a drag to replay ME1, even though it was fun going through it (if occasionally a bit tedious with the cookie cutter rando planet science/mine facilities, lol). Like, just from how fun and interesting ME2 is, mostly! more of all the pre-introduced races, plus new ones, plus more filling in of intragalactic politics, and more interesting implications of all these space-faring races mixing....

Also gods WREX and his planet holy shit,,,,, fuckin' hell yeah my man get their shit together and also adopt Grunt yes good-

And Mordin??? My singing semi-evil scientist best friend forced to confront his choices more than he thought he ever would have???? With some of the best ongoing general report chatter of all the companions??

(when I tell you I choked on my coffee when I talked to him after confirming romance choice w/ Garrus and that 'pamphlet' and 'anaphalactic shot if ingesting-' kajsldkfjsldfjk)

Like, fuck, the fact that they actually dive into the mixed morality and horrors of the genophage, and you can confront Mordin on it, for good reason, yet he still stands his ground, until finally some bits of his loyalty mission seem to... affect him, and I'm guessing might set up things for 3 with him? Unsure, but either way, damn, the fact that they start to dig into it...

And Taliiiii my beloved forbidden alien wife TwT her loyalty mission was SO GOOD. I love how varied they all are?? Getting to defend her and discover what she'd unwittingly been a part of-!!

Zaeed is a bastard but tbh I love that he is and that he's unapologetic in him - and Kasumi omg, best thief. A heist?? Gods, yes- I love our couch lounge chats XD

Samara is..... illegally.......... she's an illegally powerful and beautiful and eloquent MILF...........................

(.... listen I'm sapphic as hell and I'm kicking my own ass for picking her up last aksjdlfksjdfl - but her loyalty mission, damn. And seeing how there's this interesting cultural subset, and the struggle with the Asari in that they unquestioningly accept/respect justicars, but also know that the impact outside their culture is a diplomacy nightmare waiting to happen-)

,.,,,,,T,,, Thane,,,,,

I am weak for morally implicated murder dads okay?? And that voice??? His mannerisms?????? How you first see him, and that prayer after assassinating her...???????? And his history/his people's history with the hanar, gods I love how messy it is, it feels so much more real!

Also Jack is a mess and I love her (and want to get her some therapy, omg), and her and Miranda nearly duking it out after you've done both their loyalty missions??? so good and makes a lot of sense-! Honestly I would love more interactions between teammates on the ship, but there's already so much the devs had to balance I can't blame 'em for minimizing, heh. But suffice to say I also love Miranda and Jacob, even if I'm softest for my alien crew XD Hell yeah Jacob, we'll get loud and spill drinks on the citadel indeed TwT

.... I could write a whole essay on how much I love Garrus oTL Perhaps because he and Tali are the throughlines from 1 on your 2 crew, I have some of the strongest feelings about them... but genuinely, he was one of my favorite companions in the first game, and how you find him as Archangel in two? Getting to help him fight his way out after he's gone nearly 48 hours straight fighting off three gangs alone, jfc. His vengeance quest and what can happen there.... That line? fuck me, that line -

It's so much easier to see the world in black and white. Grey? I don't know what to do with gray...

How DARE you come for my heart like this, devs holy shit

(also, some other choice faves so far from the series from him include We can disobey suicidal orders?? and This wasn't in my training manual... [in 1, if you have him with you @ th Thorian fight] and his whole.... pop the heat sink - in his romance ;Dc)

asdasdfksadjfkl like I said I can write an essay on him PFFF suffice to say I'm very looking forward to his romance scene and where things go in 3

But yeah gods I'm just gonna keep rambling if I'm not careful lol. Gods I don't even know what to talk about it's all so good and while I can understand people roasting the obviousness of Paragon V Renegade (v neutral) choices/alignments, I think they do a pretty damn good job in 2 of pushing it further - to the point that there were some times that I accidentally got renegade points and I wasn't that mad, haha. There's so much fun in the interactions that I just have a good time anyways~

I have so many thoughts about TIM (The Illusive Man) and Cerberus.... theories evolving galore............... and like, what the hell!! Omega 4 going to the center of the galaxy is such a cool twist, goddamn - though my heart still breaks at losing Kaiden (his line if you haven't romanced him?? about feeling like he lost a limb when he lost you??? holy shit.... but I also can't blame him for not trusting Cerberus to the point of it affecting his ability to trust Shepard... like fuck Shep go after himmmm) I'm really excited to see where that goes since he comes back in 3, and what the fuck happens with Cerberus bc while I love the fact that obviously there are a lot of people in it for the right reasons, doing good work, there are those that are doing the opposite, and I have a very bad feeling about where TIM will end up landing....

All that said though I need to do the Reaper IFF mission (where I'm lightly spoiled as to getting That Boy, but not how/what happens to make it so - just that it's apparently wise to have all your side missions done before getting him...) and the actual Omega 4 jump. So we'll see what happens and what I think about it from there heheh!

.... major kudos and genuine props if you made it here to the end, I am so sorry for not editing on condensing all this, and appreciate you so much ;w;

[samanthadalton]

Star crossed lovers part 7 (au)

pairings: poppy x mc (bea)

warnings: throughout this fic there will be mentions of substance abuse, homophobia, sexual abuse, violence, NSFW, mentions of abandonment, depression and death including suicide

reader discretion is advised

taglist: @somewillwin @cloud9in @save-me-the-last-dance @baexpoppy @stanzoeywade @ognenniyvolk @thepotatobleh @crazzyplays @rxssians @helpconfusedpersonhere @dopeyouth @boys-girls-i-cant-help-it-baby @clowneryme (if you wanna be added on let me know) 

word count: 5.2k (my longest chapter yet) 

if there’s any mistakes i’ll fix it later bc its like 5am here 

part 1: part 2: part 3: part 4: part 5: part 6: 

Birthday Bash 

“Bea.” 

Poppy stares at the brunette, wide-eyed, her knuckles turning white as she firmly grips on the doorknob, but she doesn’t let go. She definitely wasn’t planning on seeing her girlfriend tonight, and judging by the haunted expression on Bea’s face, neither was she. 

“Hey,” is all Bea can squeak out, lips slightly quivering, her eyes a bloodshot red as if she’s been crying for days. Poppy quickly peaks her head out of the doorway, analysing her surroundings, looking for any traces of anyone's presence before clutching onto Bea’s arm and dragging her into the foyer.

“What happened?” Poppy’s voice is soft, timid, her brows furrowed as she takes in Bea’s demeanour. As the lights shine on Bea, Poppy can see her girlfriend’s features more clearly, her cheeks glisten with dried tear stains, while her hair looks like a bush, most likely from Bea running her hand through hair constantly, a habit she does when she’s upset or angry. 

As if right on cue, Bea runs a hand through her hair, her expression distressed.“ Is it safe to talk here?” Bea’s tone’s insecure as she gazes into the strawberry blonde’s eyes for the first time tonight, and Poppy notices the sad glint in her eyes. It takes all of Poppy’s strength to not break down in tears just by looking at her girlfriend. 

Poppy clears her throat, blinking away the tears, “uh yeah, my dad’s not home. Come let’s go to my room.” Poppy contemplates holding Bea’s hand as she sees it fitted closely to the brunette’s side, but reminds herself how volatile things are between her and Bea so she walks ahead of Bea and not looking behind her until she reaches her room. She opens the door and lets Bea into the room, making a beeline for her bed, sitting at the edge while Bea hovers near the door frame, nervously fidgeting as if it’s her first time in the strawberry blonde’s room, her eyes wearily glancing around the room. 

“You can sit if you want” Poppy pats the space near her and Bea gives her a small smile as Bea gives a small nod of appreciation and meanders over to her bed and settles down, leaving a wide gap between herself and Poppy. As the girls look over at each other, familiarity slowly begins to wash over them as the memories that they spent together in the room come flooding into their minds; the late nights, the sneaking out, the kisses, the cuddles, the I love yous. It wasn’t that long ago where the girls were lying down in Poppy’s bed together discussing their future and senior year, but now as they’re in the same space everything has changed, and deep down inside they both know that. 

Poppy gives Bea a warm smile, her eyes full of affection as she waits patiently for her girlfriend to speak first. Poppy knows firsthand to be submissive when Bea is in a mood, otherwise Bea will just close off and the girls won’t make any progress. After some deliberation, she tentatively reaches out, her hand slowly clasping around Bea’s, giving it a squeeze, a small gesture to reassure her girlfriend that she’s willing to wait. Bea smiles internally at Poppy’s action, but after the dispute between herself and her mother, it has been on a constant replay in her head, almost like a never ending nightmare which she can’t wake herself up from. The girls continue to sit in the silence as Bea tries to gain her bearings, her mind going a million miles a minute, but Bea fights against the flight instinct she has become accustomed to over the last couple of months taking a deep slowing breath before opening her mouth to speak. 

“Thank you for letting me in.” 

Poppy frowns, “you’re my girlfriend Bea, I would never turn you away.” 

Bea glances down at the floor, “so why didn’t you want me at the hospital? Or why haven’t you answered my calls? Texts?” A guilty expression flashes across Poppy’s face, as she stutters, struggling to come up with a valid reason, instead she clamps her mouth shut, her lips pressed together in a thin line. Bea reaches out to take Poppy’s cast in both of her hands, her soft fingers delicately brushing against the rough plaster, a solemn look on her face. “When you fell I-” she abruptly cuts herself off as hot tears begin to stream down her face, she shifts her gaze away from Poppy, in an attempt to hide her face. 

Poppy reaches out, cupping Bea’s face in her hands, her thumbs swiping the tears as she places her forehead against the brunettes, speaking softly against her lips, “Bea I know. I’m okay though.” The strawberry blonde’s voice begins to waver but she clears her throat, pushing away the lump in her throat, “I know I’ve been distant lately. Pushing you away and it isn’t fair. We need to stop avoiding this conversation.” Bea nods into Poppy’s hands, sniffling as she blinks away the last couple of tears forming in her eyes. 

“You’re right.” 

And so Bea tells Poppy everything; her unexpected visit from her dad, the argument with Isabella, the night she was almost mugged. Poppy stares intensely as Bea, quietly taking in the information, part of her feels like an idiot, like she’s being selfish. Crying over a broken arm while Bea’s life is completely falling apart. But another part of her feels hurt, hurt that Bea had been concealing all of this. Suppressing all her emotions to the point where Poppy almost blamed her for her fall. 

She understands that her and Bea live in two completely different worlds. But would that be their downfall? Or would they be able to push through their differences and love each other unconditionally? Promise that they will never keep something from the other? Promise to love and commit to each other no matter the consequences? 

Maybe Bea would be able to, but could Poppy? She has more to lose than Bea does, more at stake. But all those doubts perish when Bea gazes at the strawberry blonde, relief flashing across her face. She seems more at ease than when she first came in, like the weight has been lifted off her shoulders and Bea’s problems shouldn’t be her own burden, Poppy knew what she was getting herself into when she decided to be with Bea. No matter how much life threw at them nothing could take away the fact that they were soulmates, who were brought together to balance each other out. 

“Pops?” 

“Yeah?” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t be.” Poppy moves in, she places a soft, long kiss on Bea’s forehead before fitting herself in Bea’s bigger frame, her arms wrapping around the brunette’s waist, while her head nuzzles into her neck. “You have nothing to apologise for Bea. If anything I should be sorry. I’ve been such a bitch, when I should’ve been there for you. I hate that we’ve come to this. Not being able to tell each other anything.” 

Poppy hears Bea sharply inhale and lifts her head to look at her girlfriend, “Was there something else?” 

One of Bea’s hands moves to stroke the strawberry blonde’s hair, she solemnly nods, “yes. Don’t be mad I didn’t say anything earlier because I would’ve but you were ignoring my calls.” Poppy pushes herself off her girlfriend studying Bea’s remorseful expression. “It’s about Carter. 

“What about him? Did he do something to you?” Poppy brow’s furrow while Bea shakes her head. 

“He approached me the night of the volleyball, the game where you fell.” her gaze drifts down to Poppy’s cast, “he knows about us.” 

Poppy feels the blood rushing to her ears, as her heart thumps powerfully in her chest. ‘This isn’t supposed to happen, no one is supposed to know’ is all she can think, while her face pales and her eyes continuously blink, wondering if she’s heard Bea wrong. “What are you talking about?”

“I don’t know how Poppy but he swore he wouldn’t say anything,” Bea stammers. 

Poppy feels anger flaring up in her body as her eyes shoot daggers at Bea, “what the fuck Bea. You know how many times Carter has been to my house in the last week? And this entire time he fucking knew?” Poppy wildly throws her arms around, face reddening by the second. 

Bea feels anger exploding within her, her face scrunched up in a scowl and she starts yelling, “You were ignoring me. I called. I texted. You couldn’t be bothered to check up on your own girlfriend. So don’t you dare” she points an accusatory finger at Poppy, “blame me.” 

Both girls glare at each other, anger reaching a boiling point, the sounds of their tiny quick breaths fill up the deafening silence in the room. Bea takes a step towards Poppy, who in retort takes a step forward too, and without hesitation both girls move in for the kiss, their tongues already tangled together as they fight for dominance. Bea grabs the Poppy by her hips, pulling her closer to her frame, as she angles her head downwards, pushing her tongue into Poppy’s mouth who responds with small moans, her mouth invitingly opening up, as her hands creep up around Bea’s neck, wrapping around it and pulling her down onto the bed. All the pent up anger, passion, the absence of intimacy is met in the kiss, the girls feeding off each other’s kisses not breaking apart for air, as if they can live off the very feeling they’re giving each other. 

Soon the girls pull apart, their gaze fixated on one another, until they break into a fit of laughter, realising how ludicrous the entire situation is. 

“I’m sorry for snapping. I guess I’m scared about people finding out about us.” 

“Hey.” Bea cups Poppy’s face, her thumbs stroking her jawline as her eyes look intensely into Poppy’s brown doe eyes, “I would never let anything bad happen to you. Carter said himself, he’s not the enemy, he’s just an ass.” Poppy lets out an airy laugh, slightly shaking her head, while Bea returns a small smile, “I’m just glad we’re okay now, I missed you.” Bea leans down and places a chaste kiss on the strawberry blonde’s lips. 

“I missed you too. From now on no more secrets okay? We need to make sure we are healthily communicating with each other because I hate fighting with you.” 

“I know, I guess sometimes I just don’t want to burden you.” 

“Bea, you’re my girlfriend, you could never be a burden to me.” The girls share a long look, one filled with affection and appreciation. “You gonna be okay going home? You can stay here if you want.” 

Bea shakes her head, “your dad will be here soon and I don’t wanna risk it. It’ll be fine, I think.” Bea hesitantly adds. 

‘Well, I’m here if you ever need a getaway. And I’m glad we’ve made up because there is no way in hell we are not going to celebrate your birthday.” 

Bea lets out a loud groan, “Dammit it.” 

“We are going to celebrate your birthday Bea Hughes, you are not getting out of this one so easily.” 

…. 

In the following weeks, Bea and Poppy could not be in a better place, though their relationship was still a well kept secret from the students of Belvoire, or at least the majority of them, the girls back to being madly in love. Since cheer was not really an option for Poppy currently, she began investing into her role of head of the school newspaper more, while offering more hours to volunteer at her local animal shelter. Bea on the other hand was pouring herself into maintaining a healthy work/school balance. Her and Aria began a family night once a week, where her, Aria and Poppy and sometimes Veronica, Zoey and AJ would all get together and cook and play board games for a couple of hours. Although Bea and Poppy recently made up, they almost got into another fight after Bea put down a +4 in Uno and Poppy almost lost her shit. All the while, Poppy and Zoey were planning Bea’s birthday party. Bea was never too  crazy about her birthday but after a lot of petitioning from Poppy, Veronica and Zoey she eventually agreed to a birthday party which would be hosted by Zoey. 

…. 

Soon it’s time for Bea’s birthday and as soon as the brunette wakes up from her slumber she immediately goes onto her phone to see a bunch of birthday messages from all her friends. Poppy of course had wished Bea a happy birthday at exactly 12am and left her girlfriend a very long paragraph including all the reasons she loves her. Zoey leaves a drunken voice message, telling Bea that she’s starting the party early while Veronica gives a short and very mundane message just simply wishing Bea a happy birthday. Bea scrolls through the rest of the birthday wishes thanking everyone for the wishes until a pillow comes flying out of nowhere smashing into her face. 

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY BIG SIS!” Aria jumps onto Bea, giving her some very brutal birthday beats while also not forgetting to give one for luck. Once she’s done, she jumps off Bea’s bed laughing. Bea massages her arms tenderly, mentally planning her little sister’s demise until Aria brings out a small wrapped box from under her bed, holding it out to Bea. 

“Aria you didn’t have to.” 

“Shut up and just open it.” 

Bea amusingly huffs as she carefully unwraps the bow on the box, before lifting the lid. She lets out a small gasp as tears begin to form in her eyes. “Oh my god Aria.” She endearingly stares at her sister before pulling her in for a massive bear hug, “this is the best present ever thank you.’ 

Aria returns the hug for a few moments until breathlessly cries out, “Bea, you’re crushing my lungs.” Bea instantly lets go, sympathetically rubbing her younger sister’s back, 

“Sorry Aria, but this is perfect, how did you know?” She affectionately stares at the picture frame in her hand, beaming at the photo of a young Bea holding a baby Aria in her arms. 

“Because you love that kind of stuff. Mom helped me with it.” 

Bea visibly tenses, “she did huh?” Aria who is completely oblivious about the severity of the altercation between Bea and her mother, only thinking it was just a petty argument that resulted in them not being on speaking terms, merely nods and flounces to the bathroom to get ready. 

After a birthday breakfast where Bea had to take over from Aria who can barely make a decent pancake batter, the girls sit in the living room reminiscing about the past, laughing at the past memories of one another. They’re interrupted by the sudden creaking of Isabella’s door who gingerly looks out of room before stalking towards the kitchen to fetch herself a glass of water. Bea pointedly avoids Isabella’s presence by directing her complete focus to her younger sister until Isabella’s low voice interrupts the conversation. 

“Happy birthday Bea.” 

Bea ignores her mother, clenching her jaw, furious at her mother’s attempt to simply sweep her previous proclamation about not wanting anything to do with her aside. “Hey Aria, why don’t we go to Zoey’s and then I’ll drop you off at your friend’s. We’ll even take my bike.” 

Aria squeals hugging Bea tightly, “seriously? You’ll let me go on the bike?” 

“Yeah, of course. Now go get your stuff I’ll wait here.” Aria rushes into her room while Bea reluctantly makes her way to the kitchen, where Isabella’s expression is downcast as her long nails tap against her glass. “Aria’s staying over at a friend’s tonight and I’ll be home late so I guess you have the house to yourself. Don’t trash it because remember who’s paying the bills in this house.” Bea turns away but Isabella latches onto her arm, her tone pleading. 

“Please Bea. It’s been weeks.” 

Bea aggressively shrugs her mom’s arm off hers before looking directly into her eyes, a fire blazing in them. “And? I meant what I said. No more handouts. You’re on your own. Tell Aria I’m waiting out front.” With that she walks off without a second thought or glance. 

….

Bea’s birthday is soon in full blast, and as Bea walks into the back yard she can’t help but be in awe of Zoey and Poppy’s collaboration to make the party a hit. The fairy lights carefully placed around the trees, shine brightly, a stark contrast to the dark night sky. A arm slings around Bea’s shoulder pulling her close to the warm body, “Happy birthday bitch!” Zoey places a plastic crown on Bea’s head giving her best friend a kiss on the cheek. As looks up and down appraising Bea’s short red dress, “damn girl, 18 looking good on you already.” 

“How are you already drunk? The party just started.” 

“How are you not drunk yet? It’s your birthday, let loose a little.” Zoey grabs Bea’s hands doing a silly dance before Bea breaks apart her gaze serious. 

“What’s wrong Zoey? I’ve known you long enough to know something’s up.” 

Zoey sighs, slumping her shoulders, her expression dejected, “I asked Veronica if she wanted to come to this party together but she said no.” 

“Aww Zo,” Bea pulls in Zoey for a hug. “I thought you guys really liked each other?” Zoey in retort lets out a bitter laugh.

“I guess it was just about sex for her. But fuck her. I don’t need her to have a good time.” She takes a huge swig of her beer, “besides, tonight is a celebration.” She downs the rest of her drink, exhaling sharply, “I’m gonna go grab another drink.” She makes her way to the drinks stand until Bea is tackled by a hug which almost sends her tumbling to the ground. 

“Happy birthday baby.” Poppy gives Bea a huge kiss on her lips, and when the kiss breaks off, Bea licks her lips a little, tasting the cherry lip gloss from Poppy’s lips. 

“Mmm, thank you,” she pulls Poppy in for another kiss until they’re interrupted by a loud cough. 

“Umm I’m here.” Veronica lifts a hand up waving, while a huge wrapped box is fitted to her side, wrapped around her other hand. “Here, happy birthday.” She shoves the box into Bea’s hands who just looks at Veronica gratefully. 

“Wow, thanks Veronica.” Veronica responds with a small hum as Bea begins ripping off the wrapping and then looks back up at Veronica wide-eyed. “Holy shit V, thank you. This is awesome.” She takes out the fresh biker helmet, staring at it in astonishment, a glossy black exterior, with white stripes painted all over it, brings a huge smile to Bea’s face and she gives Veronica a strong one armed hug. 

“You’re welcome.” Veronica beams as she hugs Bea back, “See told you she’ll like it P.” 

Poppy facetiously rolls her eyes, “fine you were right. But” she pulls Bea back to her side giving her girlfriend a quick peck on her lips, “my present is a million times better.” 

“Well duh you’re her girlfriend.” 

“Oh shush Lombardi, you’re just bitter that Zoey isn’t interested in you.” Bea furrows her eyebrows slightly at Veronica who just embarrassingly turns away. “Well let’s go get some drinks.” 

Many of Bea’s friends from the south join the party including Razor who gets a stern (and slightly drunken) telling off from Poppy for giving Bea a knife. Poppy excuses herself to join Zoey and a bunch of others in a game of truth or dare which Bea respectfully declines. As the party carries on, Bea stands at the edge of the living room carefully sipping her beer as she looks around, the music infectiously blaring from the speakers as everyone begins to dance. AJ sidles up to Bea giving her a warm hug wishing her a happy birthday. 

“I was wondering when you would show up.” 

“My dad wanted me to stay for a family dinner since my aunt came over but said I could come to the party once it ended.” 

Bea gives AJ a sincere pat on the back, “Well I’m glad you’re here. Have you spoken to Poppy yet?” 

AJ sheepishly rubs his hand on his neck, a slight frown on his face, “not yet. I’ve been kinda avoiding her but I’ll speak to her and apologize for scaring her.” 

“Alright, go and enjoy the party, I’m just gonna head out for some air.” AJ joins the fray as Bea heads out to the front yard staring at the night sky. 

“I thought you’re supposed to celebrate on your birthday?” 

Bea turns her head slightly to see a smirking Veronica making her way up to her and amusingly huffs, “I just needed some air. Sometimes the music gives me a headache.” 

“Yeah, these parties can be a bit much. But they’re definitely better than the shitty parties from Belvoire’s most finest.” 

“I’ve never been to a Belvoire party before.” 

Veronica exapgreentlying gasps, holding a hand to her chest, “who would’ve thought, Belvoire’s most hated has never been to a Belvoire party,” her voice dripping with sarcasm. 

Bea smirks but her eyes look lost in thought until she looks over at the ombre-haired girl, curiosity in her eyes, “so what happened with you and Zoey, I thought you guys liked each other?” 

Veronica clicks her tongue, her expression contemplating, “she just wasn’t what I wanted.” 

“Oh so there’s someone else?” Bea raises an eyebrow at Veronica who just whole-heartedly rolls her eyes in retort. 

“Maybe. But I don’t know if they want me like that.” 

“Why not? You’re a great girl. I’m sure you would make them very happy.” 

Veronica shakes her head slightly, throwing her head back to stare at the sky, “well, I don’t want to ruin what they already have, it seems” her brows knit together as she ponders what word to use, “solid.” 

“Well you’ll find someone I’m sure. I mean I’m grateful for Poppy, I don’t know where I would be without her.” 

“Yeah, she’s pretty great isn’t she?” 

“Yeah. She is.” Bea smiles, her eyes twinkling as she thinks about her girlfriend. She shakes out of daze and smiles back at Veronica, “thanks again for the bike helmet.” 

“It’s fine Bea. I know how much you love the thing. I just thought you should look cooler while riding it.” Veronica turns to Bea, her expression pondering, “Why do you love motorcycles so much?” 

“Wait.. have you never ridden on a motorcycle before?” Veronica shakes her head. “Oh my god, it’s the best feeling ever, the wind blowing in your face, the speed. It feels like freedom I guess.” 

“Huh. That’s nice I guess.” 

“You guess? No I won’t have that. Come on.” She grabs one of Veronica’s hands steering her towards her bike that’s parked outside the house. “We’re going for a ride now.” 

“Uhhh are you sober enough for that?” Veronica raises an eyebrow at Bea, “I don’t wanna end up on the news for being the influencer who died while riding on a motorcycle with someone under the influence of alcohol.” 

Bea lets out a guffaw, holding her stomach, “I barely drank anything tonight. Trust me, you’re in good hands.” Veronica gives Bea a nod of okay, “uhh wait, let me tell Poppy we’re going for a ride, I’ll be right back.” She leaves Veronica on the sidewalk making her way into the house in pursuit of her girlfriend. She finds the strawberry blonde in the middle of the dancefloor, dancing her heart out to the music, drunkenly singing along to the words. Bea comes from behind, pulling Poppy’s hips to hers, and leans down to whisper into her ear, “looks like you’re having a good time.” Poppy in response, reaches back, her hands entwining around Bea’s neck as she grinds against her hips. 

“I have to admit, even though I had a hand in this party, Zoey really outdid herself.” 

Bea twists Poppy around placing a kiss against her girlfriend’s lips, “i’m glad you’re having fun, you deserve it babe. Veronica is waiting outside for me though. She told me she’s never ridden on a motorcycle before so imma take her for a ride on my bike okay? I’ll be back.” 

“Okay.” 

Poppy slightly freezes when she sees AJ enter the room, Bea follows her gaze, a solemn look on her face, “he wants to talk to you by the way. I think he wants to apologise.” 

“Yeah I guess we should talk,” Poppy sobers up slightly as she releases Bea and stands a little taller, “I’ll catch you later okay, I still need to give you your present.” 

“Okay,” Bea smiles down at her girlfriend before planting a chaste kiss on her lips, “let me know how it goes between you.” 

Poppy nods and makes her way to AJ while Bea moves towards the front yard. When Poppy reaches AJ she gingerly taps him on the shoulder, AJ jumps from the sudden touch, spinning towards Poppy almost dropping his drink in the process. 

“Gah! Sorry Poppy.” He drinks the contents of his cup before placing it on the counter and looks at the strawberry blonde. “So I’m guessing you spoke to Bea huh?” 

“Yeah, we should go somewhere quieter and talk.” AJ follows Poppy out to the corner of the back yard, away from the rest of the partygoers. “So.” 

“So.” 

“I know Bea already spoke to you about the party and stuff but I guess I wanted to thank you.” 

“Thank me?” AJ says surprised. 

“Yeah. What you did was kinda dumb but your heart was in the right place.” AJ lets out a small laugh shaking his head slightly. “I’m just grateful you would protect me like that AJ.” 

“Of course I would Poppy. You’re Bea’s girlfriend. And even if you weren’t you needed help. I hate when guys think they can do whatever they want to girls without facing the consequences.” There was a depth to AJ’s words, like he wasn’t just talking about that one ordeal, Poppy contemplated asking but AJ is just as fickle as Bea if not more, his behaviour and moods are often unpredictable so Poppy made a mental note to speak to Bea about it later. 

“Well it was very brave of you AJ. I’m glad Bea has amazing friends like you.” 

“Well you’re my friend too Poppy, and you deserve to have someone other than Bea to have your back.” 

Poppy turns silent, absorbing AJ’s revelation, were any of her friends as diehard as Bea’s? Would they ever assist Poppy like how AJ did? Poppy begins wondering if her friends were truly her friends at all, as she looks over at AJ, the young sophomore goofily grinning back at her, and she can’t help but smile. AJ is family to her, how Bea is like an older sister to him means that Poppy is also a sister to him too, and family, look out for each other which is something she’s beginning to learn. She tugs AJ close to her, pulling him into a back-breaking hug as she sobs softly into his shoulder, “thank you AJ, for everything.” 

AJ is too stunned to reply, so his hold around Poppy just tightens as the two just bask in the warmth of the embrace, content that they can rely on each other. 

All the while, Bea takes Veronica out for a ride on her bike while wearing her new helmet which was graciously gifted by the ombre-haired girl herself. 

“It looks good on you.” 

“Thanks.” Bea swings her leg around the bike before settling on the seat, she nods her head towards Veronica, “so? Hop on.”

Veronica timidly ambles towards Bea’s bike and climbs behind the brunette as her legs brushes slightly against her hips. 

“Hold on tight okay? We don’t want you falling off.” Bea says looking back, a widespread grin on her face. Veronica moves closer to Bea on the bike, her hands coming around to grip Bea’s stomach, “just a little tighter V.” Veronica squeezes her arms around Bea’s waist, “perfect. You ready?” 

“Let’s go.” 

Bea takes off on the bike, slowly at first but when she feels Veronica’s fingers beginning to relax around her waist, she begins to speed up, the wind breezing against her helmet while Veronica’s hair freely moves against the wind. The streetlights begin blurring as Bea increases the speed, the motorcycle going almost 50 miles an hour, and Veronica closes her eyes, relishing in the freedom Bea promised she would feel. They circle around the block a couple of times until it comes to a stop and Bea takes off her helmet shaking out her curly hair. 

“Oh my god.” 

“So? How was it?” 

“It was fucking exhilirating. Holy fuck Bea. Maybe I should invest in a motorcycle.” 

Bea lets out a laugh, “you definitely should, see I told you it’s amazing.” 

“Yeah yeah you were right.” Veronica pulls out her phone and gasps, “shit Poppy texted like a hundred times, come on it’s time to cut your cake.” 

The girls make their way to Zoey’s kitchen where everyone stands in a circle, eagerly and a few impatient, waiting to cut the cake. 

“There she is!” Zoey screams as the rest of the party goers cheer and Poppy sidles to Bea’s side giving her a kiss on her cheek. Zoey lights the candles as the group of people break into singing happy birthday. Bea pauses before blowing out her candles, a fond look in her eyes as the candles are blown out and eventually the cake is distributed between everyone and Poppy and Bea settle on the couch with Veronica sitting next to Poppy while Zoey and AJ sit next to Bea all silently eating the cake. 

“So how was the ride?” Poppy asks. 

“Awesome. Veronica is now a motorcycle convert.” Bea jests and Veronica rolls her eyes slightly. 

“Hey, I never had anything against motorcycles okay? I’ve just never been on one until tonight. But it was honestly life changing.’ 

The three girls break into a fit of giggles until Poppy reaches over, intertwining her fingers of her non broken hand, with Bea’s whispering in her ear. “Well I think it’s time for your present.” Bea gleams at Poppy as she allows herself to be pulled away from the couch but not before looking back and giving Zoey a sly smirk hinting at the fact Zoey and Veronica are now sitting next to each other. 

Poppy pulls Bea into Zoey’s empty bedroom before pulling Bea into a long passionate kiss. 

“Is this my present?” Bea grabs Poppy’s hips, a mischievous glint in her eyes. 

“That’s for later babe,” Poppy indulges in Bea’s desires for a few moments, allowing herself to get lost in Bea’s kiss as their tongues tangle together, eliciting a few soft moans from the strawberry blonde. Poppy pushes Bea slightly back, and rests her forehead against Bea’s, “stop distracting me, I gotta give you your present.” 

Poppy brings out her phone and pulls out a picture of an empty apartment, showing the picture to Bea. Bea looks at the photo confused, raising a pointed eyebrow at her girlfriend. “Uhhh I don’t get it.” 

“This is our apartment in New York. I put an early deposit on the place so it’s officially ours.”

read part 8 here 

[headinthe-fridge]

My Grandfather’s Lawyer (pt. 4)

⁂ – Ushijima Wakatoshi x reader –  ⁂

warning: nsfw, swearing

Summary: Your grandfather, Washijo Tanji, disowned your mother when she was pregnant with you and her hatred towards him was passed on to you. Now, your estranged grandfather wants you to leave your life in Tokyo and come live with him in his estate in the Miyagi Prefecture.

You took a day off and a 6-hour trip, intending to give him a piece of your mind before disappearing from their lives forever. You didn’t expect to see an ailing and fragile old man. Your day trip stretched into weeks and soon, you patched things up with your estranged family and warmed up to everyone -except to one: Ushijima Wakatoshi -your grandfather’s lawyer.

He thinks you have ulterior motives in reuniting with your grandfather.

You weren’t suppose to care what he thinks of you. His opinion didn’t matter.

But it did.

AN: OMG you guys are blowing up my notifs, sorry I couldn’t reply to each of you, I barely have time to linger in any socmed apps bc of work. BUT THANK YOU ALLL!! I Loooove you. I’m trying to make y/n as gender neutral as possible but not sure if i’m doing a good job. But yeah, heres part four!  💖💖

Masterlist

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

"I hope you don't mind if I do most of the talking." Your grandfather started. 

"There are so many things that I want to tell you but I don't know where or how to start. He couldn't hide the sadness in his voice. Of that, you were sure. "I have a feeling that no matter how hard I try, you will stick to what you know -to what your parents told you.

"Your hostility today proved that I was right about my hunch, so that leaves me no other choice but to tell you everything. And to start, I want to explain the exchange of letters your mother and I had."

"L-letters?" Your brows scrunched in confusion.

"You mean you don' know that... well, I should have known better." His shoulders dropped. I know everything that happened with your family because of the letters your mother sent me, although, at that time, I don't know the reason why she did that so I never bothered to read those.

"It was only later that I realized why," He paused then added lowly. "That was to spite me, of course. She wanted to show me that even if your family isn't rich, you're all very happy. That even without the luxuries, you are complete and you love each other."

The old man looked up at you, his eyes glistening in tears. "Do you know that that hit me terribly? I was happy for her but I cannot admit to myself that I envy her. I envied your family's happiness. It was as if you had nothing to worry about in this world.

"I can't believe that my youngest daughter, my dear Noriko who got everything she wanted without even lifting a finger, my Norik who grew up in a wealthy household, chose to live a simple and plain life with her husband and child." Your gaze was fixated on your grandfather so you didn't miss it when he gently wiped a lone tear that fell down his cheek. You were astounded. You thought you were imagining things.

"But... but why didn't you help us when we asked?"

"It was too late when I learned of your mother's sickness, it was too late when I read the letters. But even if I knew early on, it was clear that she didn't want any of it. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't because I never knew where it was that you live, only that it was in Tokyo. It seemed she used a different address when she sent me those letters."

"I find that hard to believe."

"I don't expect you to believe me now, my dear y/n. But please don't close your heart and mind. Please give me a chance."

"But why now?" Your voice faltered, mind racing. Everything that your parents told you doesn't add up to what the old man said. What is even the truth? Who lied? Was it your parents? But why would they do that? No, they wouldn't.

"It's hard to explain, y/n, but please understand that I'm just a father who loved his daughter greatly. I didn't approve of her relationship with your father because I thought he wouldn't be able to give the things she needed. When Noriko ran away with your father, I was devastated."

You shook your head fervently. "N-no, I don't believe you, you're just saying that because yo-"

Like I said earlier, I don't expect you to believe me." He cut you off then reached for a small brown box that rested on top of his bedside table. He offered it to you. 

"I hope that the contents of this box would ease away at least some of your hatred for your grandfather."

You took it with trembling hands. "What's this?"

"You'll know once you open it but if you may, please do that when you're back in your room. And return that box to me, please, as soon as possible. What's inside of that box are more than just treasures."

Your grandfather's crest-fallen expression only heightened your confusion. "You may go now. Your old man is tired and in need of rest." -- With swollen, red eyes, you blinked the tears away to clear your vision. You tried to contain your sob as you placed the letters back inside the box. It was your mother's letters for your grandfather.

you briefly wondered why your mother even bothered to write these letters when half of them were full of hatred and anger for her father.

But at the same time, you couldn't blame her. Aside from loving your father so much, she also had her own principles and greatly values her dignity. Plus, the fact that your grandfather disowned her also terribly hurt your mother.

Your head spun. You somehow felt ashamed of yourself; how you acted earlier, and all the things you said to your grandfather.

But then again, none of that matters now. There was also nothing you could do to change what happened in the past so you decided to only bother yourself with the present, with what needs to be done now.

For a long period of time, you paced around the confines of your room but instead of coming up with a plan of action, it only made you tired. You let out a deep sigh before laying on the futon. The best thing you could think of right now is to sleep through it and silently hope for everything to be okay tomorrow. ---- You woke up the next morning with a heavy heart. What happened last night still vividly replayed in the forefront of your mind, as if it happened only seconds ago. You could still hear the deep longing and sadness in your grandfather's voice, the anger in your mother's letters, and your hostility towards him.

Now that you knew the truth, staying here would be too much.

Groggy and groaning, you willed yourself to get up from the futon and prepare to leave. You glanced at the wrinkled clothes that you wore yesterday, you were only gonna wear it during the trip so that will do.

You were all set when your eyes landed on the small brown box. You needed to return it to your grandfather, the letters are important to him.

The heaviness in your heart alleviates. Despite the harsh and hurtful words your mother wrote in those letters, your grandfather still kept them and considered it more than treasures. You picked it up from the chabudai. You're going to say goodbye as soon as you return it to him.

It would be better to go back to Tokyo. To go back to your previous life before you met your long lost family. Yes, it would be best to go back to Tokyo and forget everything that happened for the past 24 hours. Now may not be the time but you hoped that your relationship with your grandfather will take on a good turn. 

Someday. But not now.

As soon as you stepped out of your room, dead silence welcomed you. You made your way to your grandfather's quarters but the creeping silence got to you. Did you wake up too early or do the people in this house just stay in bed too late?

You shrugged away the thought when you arrived in front of the old man's room. You were about to call out to him when someone grabbed your wrist.

"Good, you're awake. You're really the reason why I quickly came back. Let's go." Your grandfather's lawyer declared at pulled you to god knows where. "Huh? Wait, where are you taking me?" You tried to pull your wrist away from Ushijima's grip.

"I will bring you to your grandfather. He's in the hospital right now and kept calling for you, so whether you like it or not, you're coming with me."

You unconsciously let yourself get dragged along. The moment you heard that your grandfather is in the hospital, worry filled every fiber of your being. 

You now fell in to step with him, his tall frame looming beside you. He still hasn't let go of your wrist. You looked up at him, his cold eyes met yours and you immediately looked down.

"What happened to him? And how is he?"

"If you really want to know then I suggest you ask him yourself." He said dryly.

His apathetic tone irked you a bit but you decided to keep your mouth shut. The ride to Sendai General Hospital was short and silent. His brooding and aloof demeanor didn't help in subduing your growing ire for him. But seriously what is his problem?

Part 5

Taglist: @thegrumpyhag​ @sushij1ma​ @valoryess​ @yakus-yakult​ @ly-nia​ @ushi-please​ @plutoglass @kokofirebangbomb​ @strawberryy-milkk @melanieacademy​ @defunkitatedmess​ @lunarknox​ @wtoshii​ @kyomihann​

[tomspancakes]

This Way: Part 2

Pairing: Tom Holland x Actress! reader

Word Count: 3.9k

Warnings: none

Summary: Yours and Tom’s past come in bringing a bit of tension.

Part 1

A/N: AHH I’m so glad people liked part 1! I don’t have a set schedule for posting bc I still have school atm, but I’m gonna try to stay consistent, cause writing this is so fun :))) If you have any suggestions of improvement for my writing or if you’re enjoying this please lmk! If you want to be added to the tag list don’t hesitate to ask! Enjoy Part 2 <3

“Harry, oh my god that was so awkward. I hated that, it will replay in my head for the next week.” You groaned flopping on his bed. “I am a bad bitch I’m fine, I’m fine” you reminded yourself.

He laughed at you and sat next to you, “You are a bad bitch. And yes that was painfully awkward, I’m so sorry.”

“Thanks for pulling me away though. Not gonna lie, I felt like Allana was plotting something in her head when she saw me. Did you get any vibe that she didn’t seem happy?” You asked, nervous.

“Eh wouldn’t be surprised if she wasn’t happy, she bosses Tom around. She tried to use me as her photographer once, but I was busy and couldn’t, but she somehow made Tom clear my schedule so that I could take pictures of her. I do not trust her in all honesty, so her plotting something wouldn’t be new..” You gasped at the story. 

“Dang I will not get in her way then…” Harry laughed and asked, “What do you feel like eating tonight, love?” 

“Uhmmm, oh I haven’t had nandos since the last time I was here.” You said and he nodded.

-

After the Nandos was dropped off at the house you all gathered around the table. 

“I think I can make food like Nandos.” Harrison said and everyone started laughing, “Hey I seriously think I can. Just watch.” 

“I think you can too, Harrison, I’ll be your sous chef if you want.” He smiled at your encouragement and stuck his tongue out at everyone else and Allana rolled her eyes. Oof. “Tommy, do you have spinach? I have a photoshoot tomorrow because one of the models cancelled. I can’t eat the side dishes. I’ll make myself a salad or something.” Allana said.

Harry scoffed and joked, “We don’t have rabbit food here, love.” Tuwaine and Harrison laughed, but you felt bad they were ganging up on her.

“Hey don’t make fun of her. It’s harder for us girls to stay fit whereas you boys can eat like shit and still be fit.” You said to the boys and Allana looked at you a bit surprised and pleased, “Allana, I think I saw some lettuce in the fridge. I can go grab it for you and a bowl. Gotta start getting used to the things around here anyway.” You smiled at her. 

Her expression went back to being unimpressed, “Uhm no thanks. I’ll just go eat at home, I have to leave in a bit anyway.”  She said and pushed the utensils away. 

“Darling, you need to eat a little something, you haven’t eaten one thing since you’ve gotten here.” Tom said. Your heart clenched a bit when he called her darling. 

“Tommy, god, I said I’d eat later. Don’t you ever listen?” She said everyone stared in silence until Harrison broke it, “Someone’s a little hangry…” 

“Harrison shut up!” Tom said snapping his head toward Haz.

Allana was turning red, “That’s it! I’m tired of your friends treating me like this. I’m leaving, Tommy, will you come with me?” Tom got up and glared at Harrison as he helped Allana out. 

“As if she doesn’t treat us badly.” Tuwaine said, rolling his eyes, Harry and Harrison nodding in response.

“Ok, but I still felt bad for her. That was a little uncalled for guys.” You said continuing to eat. 

“Y/n, she literally shot you down when you were trying to be helpful.” Harrison stated.

“Ok true, but I didn’t mind, she seemed to mind when you all ganged up on her.” The boys nodded.

“Not even 3 hours here and you’re already being our mother.” Harry said laughing.

“Oh shut up, you boys love me. I’m just using the bad bitch energy Harry gave me earlier.” You all laughed.

- 

After dinner you and the boys watched funny videos on Harry’s laptop and then headed your separate ways to go to sleep. You did your night routine and pulled on pj shorts and tank top since the boys put the heater on. 

You stirred in bed trying to sleep, but the jet lag got the best of you and you decided to put your clothes in the drawers and closet. Before starting to clean you decided to grab a snack and water.

While waiting for the popcorn to finish popping in the microwave you heard the front door unlock and a tired looking Tom walked in. 

“Tom? Oh my god why’re you getting home now it’s 2 am, you should’ve stayed with Allana. It’s so late!” 

“Oh, y/n? And we were talking then she kicked me out, something about being alone in bed is better for her aura the night before a photoshoot. Why’re you up?” Tom stammered and you scoffed at the story.

“Jet lag. I decided to organize my room, but also wanted a snack.” He nodded sitting in front of you at the counter, “Why don’t you go to sleep now you look like shit.” You joked. He put his hand over his heart pretending to be hurt.

“Tsss ouch, y/n, but I kinda wanted to talk to you. You know, catch up.” He said looking at you with his head resting on his hand now. Your heart sped up and sighed trying to stay calm.

“Alright, what do you wanna know?” You pulled the popcorn out of the microwave and set it between you and Tom. He started eating with you.

“How’re you and Mr. Gavin Leatherwood?” His question surprised you because one; that was a very straightforward question and two; you never confirmed anything/ went public with Gavin except for paps photos of you two holding hands and only Zendaya, your family, and Harry knew and swore not to tell Tom. 

“Uhm we mutually broke up two weeks ago...” You said looking up at Tom fiddling with your fingers. Tom’s eyes widened a bit and he tried to hide his joy, 

“Oh I’m sorry about that y/n.” he said genuinely, “I always thought there was something off about him.” You rolled your eyes getting annoyed thinking back to the past,

“Tom nothing was wrong with him. Like I said it was a mutual break up. He’s a sweet guy, you just never gave him a chance.” You rolled your eyes. He put his arms up in defense,

“Sorry, love, chill. I was trying to make you feel better by implying you deserved better.” You scoffed knowing he was only being half truthful. 

“Mhm sure, we both know that you just hated him.” Tom looked at the bowl of popcorn in defeat. 

“Thanks for sticking up for Allana by the way. I know she doesn’t seem like the nicest person at first, but when you get to know her she’s a sweetheart.”

“Oh ya I bet.” You joked.

“What? ‘Not gonna give her a chance’, love?” He mocked your American accent  and put air quotes in when he said that. You gave him a displeased look,

“Really, Tom? Really? Are seriously going to say that to me when you never stood up for Gavin and was actually the meanest to him?” 

“Oh my god,” he groaned, “it was a joke, love. I see you still get butt hurt easily.” He said putting his head in his hands. That was it,

“Ok good catching up with you Tom. Good night, asshole.” You took the popcorn and water to your room. 

Tom sat there with his eyes never leaving your beautiful figure. He groaned, beating himself up mentally for fucking things up and for checking you out.

-

You woke up around 7 a.m. groaning because jet lag got to you really bad. You changed into leggings and a crop top ready to go on a light jog knowing you wouldn’t go back to sleep. 

When you walked down you saw that Tom fell asleep on the couch. Your heart melted at the sight, but you tried to ignore how cute and cuddly he looked. You were about to walk out, but gave in and decided to put a blanket over Tom. 

“Oh mornin’ y/n, you’re up early,” You heard Harrison as he walked down in shorts and a tshit-shirt, “Going on a run too?” 

“Yup, light one though. I’ve got a lot of work to do today.” You said putting your hair up in a ponytail.

“Sick, I’ll run with you for a bit then.” You smiled and waited outside for him.

When you started running it was a little silent until he spoke, “So did you put that blanket over Tom?” 

“Maybe” you chuckled a bit, it was quiet again.

“Fuck it I’m just gonna say it,” you raised your eyebrow at him, “I shouldn’t be saying thihs, but he hasn’t gotten over you. I think Allana is here just to keep him on his toes. And plus he-” 

“Sorry, Harrison, can we not talk about this now? I’m still trying to forget about my past with him since I’m living in his house and all.” You said breathing hard.

“You know you don’t have to do that. As his best friend I know he’d hate for you to pretend like nothing ever happened between you two.” 

“Alright then, but if something bad happens because of past events I’m blaming you.” You said jokingly and Harrison laughed, “So what are all the things you need to catch me up on, I’ll let you talk now, I already can’t breathe.” Harrison laughed and started updating you on everything.

-

“Wait are you serious? That sounds terrible.” You said, Harrison was telling you how he face planted when he was trying to impress a girl. 

“Oh my god it was so embarrassing, she was so quiet when she helped me up and took her number out of my phone!” You started dying of laughter. 

“I’m so sorry that’s so sad. I can’t help, but to laugh though. She’s missing out though you’re a good looking guy.” He turned red with embarrassment. 

“Aw thanks y/n. Also I can’t believe you ended up running the whole time with me.” You shrugged like it was nothing, but your legs were actually aching. You two stepped into the house to the smell of bacon. 

“Oh hell yeah... wait is that Tom cooking?” Harrison asked, very surprised. 

“Yes, I can cook you div.” Tom said. 

You noticed he changed into sweats and he was shirtless. 

“Bro the last time you cooked was when-”

Tom turned surprised to see you up, you stared at him a bit too long. He cut Haz off before he can spill anymore beans,

“Morning, love, like what you see?” You scoffed,

“Actually no, just waiting for you to burn your nipples or something since your frying bacon without a shirt.” You went to pour a glass of water and as if on cue Tom yelped in pain.

“Fuck, I burned myself.” Tom hissed and you were gonna laugh at him until you saw his side. 

“Oh my god Tom! What the hell how’d you manage to burn your side?” You rushed to his side with an ice pack in a dish towel.

“Haha Tom I thought you said you could cook!” Harrison said dying of laughter.

“Harrison can you go get toothpaste?”

“What the fuck toothpaste?” Harrison and Tom asked at the same time.

“Yes, trust me.” With that Harrison scurried off to get toothpaste.

“Told you being shirtless was a bad idea.” You scolded him.

“You liked it though, don’t deny it,” you pressed the ice pack to his side and he winced, “ouch, love, I was joking.” You giggled a bit at his reaction, 

“How hard is it to find toothpaste? Harrison where are you?” You yelled. You looked back at Tom, seemed like something was on his mind.

“You uh look good, y/n.” He stammered, your face heating up more and your heartbeat quickening,

“Tom don’t.”

“What I can’t say my friend looks good? You told Harrison he’s good looking.” You raised your brow. Was he jealous? How the hell did he hear that from inside?

“You’re something else, Holland. Plus you have a girlfriend, don’t think she’d like to hear you say that. Especially when I’m your ex.” For some reason it pained both of you when you said that.

You sat across from him still waiting for Harrison. Tom nudged your foot with his and said, “Y/n, I wanted to say I was sorry about last night. I was tired and being a complete div.” 

You looked up at him, “It’s alright, sorry for overreacting and walking out.”

“No no you had every right to.” He sighed and was about to continue, but Haz ran in,

“I got the toothpaste!” Harrison said breathless.

“Why the hell did you take so long?” You asked as Harrison handed you the tube and winked at Tom, he rolled his eyes then face palmed.

“Oh my god, Harrison.” Tom groaned. You caught on real quick, Harrison was giving you two alone time. 

“You’re not slick at all Osterfield, you literally suck.” You said as he laughed.

You removed the ice pack from Tom’s side, “Alright, Tom, this is gonna sting a bit.” You warned and spread the paste on his burn he groaned in pain.

“Whoa, Harry cover your innocent eyes!” Tuwaine exclaimed covering his face when he and Harry walked in. 

“Really guys having sex in the kitchen?” Harry said. 

“Oh shut up you dickheads. I burnt myself and y/n is helping me out.” Tom said, still moaning.

“Tom you’re such a baby. Harry we’re no longer best friends anymore.” You stated. Harry laughed as you rolled your eyes. 

“Harrison here to save the day with better bacon than Tom’s bacon!” Harrison sang. Tom slapped Harrison’s leg. You laughed excited for how the next few months would turn out because of how eventful this morning already was.

-

After a very crazy morning and a facetime meeting with your manager you had to go to the table read for the movie you were shooting. Your phone began to ring, it was Harry. 

“Hello?” 

“Hey, y/n, I’m really sorry Sam and I are still filming right now. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to pick you up in time to drop you off at your table read. Can you have one of the boys at home take you?” You began to stress a bit, but you knew that Harry was working on something really important to him.

“Yes of course. Let me know how filming goes later!”

“Thanks so much for understanding. I’ll tell you everything when I pick you up for dinner with my family! Bye, love.” You said goodbye and hung up, also completely forgetting about dinner with the Hollands tonight. 

You walked to Harrison’s room and asked, “Hey are you gonna be busy in like the next hour or so?” 

“Sorry, y/n, I’m about to meet up with some friends for lunch. What’d you need?” He asked frantically pacing looking for something. 

“Oh, Harry can’t take me to my tableread anymore, I need a ride.”

“Hmm, oh found it!” Harrison pulled out a watch from his drawer, “Well Tuwaine is leaving with me, so I’m afraid your only options are Tom or the tube.” 

“Really Harrison?” you groaned and he put his hands up in defense, “Ok have fun at lunch.”

You walked over to Tom’s room to see it empty, “He’s outside!” Tuwaine yelled from across Tom’s room. You thanked him and rushed outside to see Tom still shirtless. He was doing push-ups and the toothpaste looked glittery on his right side in the sunlight. His triceps and biceps enlarged every time he pushed his body up.

“You just can’t keep your eyes off me can you, y/n?” He said grunting while finishing his last few reps. You were at a loss for words because he did look really hot at the moment. You blushed and fumbled with your words,

“Oh uh sorry,” He turned and smirked at you, “I need another favor, Harry can’t take me to the tableread and Harrison and Tuwaine are going out for lunch.” He began walking closer to you making your heart skip a beat. What the hell was he doing? “I uh would take myself, but I’ve never driven here before and-” He was inches away from you he reached out and grabbed your shoulder chuckling,

“Alright alright, shut up I’ll take you.” You stared into each other's eyes not breaking eye contact and he reached over to slide the door open wider and he walked past you. You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding and rolled your eyes, you can’t let him get to you, he has a girlfriend! “We need to go in 45 minutes, thanks, Tom!” you yelled and he held a thumbs up.

-

“Z, I swear I cannot live in this house. Tom is acting like he’s some fuck boy and I swear he really is trying to pull something and he has a girlfriend! Did you know that?” You were rambling

“Uhmmm maybe…” She said awkwardly.

“Z! What the hell? Both you and Harry didn’t tell me.”

“What? Didn't think you’d care, cause you’re a ‘badddd bitchhh’.” You laughed at her mocking you.

“Fine, you and Harry said the exact same thing, weird… anyways what the hell do I do?” You said with your phone between your shoulder and your ear as you looked through your closet for something decent to wear at the Holland house. 

“Well, I think you should just focus on what you're doing right now and focus on your growth. Sis, you just broke up with someone, be free for now. It’s time to focus on you and your work.” Zendaya was right, you needed some time to self evaluate and grow, “But also maybe look super hot tonight at the dinner, you know, take his breath away.” She started laughing.

“Z, no! You just said not to worry about boys and he has a girlfriend…”

“But…” she said, waiting for you to carry on.

“But… ok I’ll dress cute, it’s always fun doing that.” You both laughed and she told you what to wear.

“Ok I’m gonna get ready for the tableread, I’ll text you. Love ya!” You said and she said it back and you guys hung up.

“Y/n can we actually leave in 5 minutes? I want to grab lunch, my treat!” Tom said from down the hall.

“Yeah sure.” You grabbed your purse and a bag with extra clothes. You walked out and ran into Tom with a thump he held your shoulders keeping you steady.

“Oops sorry, love. Was just going to tell you to not forget there’s dinner with my family tonight.”

“Yep, got the extra clothes in here.” You said holding up the bag to show him, he smiled and took his hands off your shoulders to take the bag from you and put it over his shoulder, “I could’ve carried it but thanks, bud.” You patted his shoulder and walked off. Tom’s heart dropped when you called him, “bud.”

-

Tom pulled up to a small cafe that seemed oddly familiar. As soon as he opened the door for you you remembered.

~

Tom brought back a tray with two burgers, fries, and waters. 

“This place has the best burgers in town. Closest thing we have to in-n-out burgers.” he said handing you the second tray. You told Tom you were starting to feel homesick and said he might know how to cheer you up. You smiled taking a huge bite into the burger, Tom looked at you waiting for your reaction, 

“Oh my god. Absolutely amazing!” Your eyes lit up and Tom’s heart jolted at the joy on your face. He continued to watch you eat the burger that was somewhat making you less homesick, “Hey, Holland, it’s rude to stare. Eat your burger before I eat it.” You joked and he laughed while taking a bite. His heart began to race as he debated whether or not he should tell you how he feels, then he thought ‘fuck it’.

“Y/n, darling?” You hummed in response.

Here goes nothing, “I like you, y/n. I have for a while now.”

~

Your thoughts went back to what Zendaya was saying, “don’t worry about boys right now.” You took a deep breath and moved up in the line with Tom. “Tom is that you?” Someone asked from behind the counter. 

“Oh, Ms. Sheila! It’s lovely seeing you again.” He said warmly and she came over to give him a hug.

“It’s been so long, and I see you’ve brought this lovely girl back. Is she your girlfriend now?” You widen your eyes and blush.

“Oh my uh no no. We’re just friends, Ms. Sheila.”

“Isn’t this the girl you confessed your feelings to, dear? Then you never came back after that, well only once and that was still ages ago.” 

“Oh, that was a while ago Ms. Sheila. Tom and I are just friends now.” You said before Tom. 

“Oh well that’s a shame you two would make a lovely couple. Anywho what can I get for you two today?” She asked as you followed her to her side of the counter.

“Two of the usuals please.” Tom asked. She nodded and brought the order out within 5 minutes. 

“Now, Tom, I hope you come back more often. Your brothers still come in every now and then.” Tom smiled and promised Ms. Sheila that he’d come back more. 

“How’d she know what your usual is if you haven’t been here in so long?” You asked as you both walked to a booth. 

“I’d come here to get breakfast with my family on Saturdays and would usually hang out here with my mates after school. This place is really special to me, I’ve made a lot of memories here.” He said picking at his fries, only making it more obvious what memory he was thinking about. You two ate in silence for a while not knowing what to say because of what went down the last time you were both here. 

“Alright, ready to go to set, love?” He asked, you nodded as you finished your last bit of the burger and he ate the last of your fries. You and Tom said goodbye to Ms. Sheila and said you’d come back again soon. 

“Thanks, Tom, I owe you big time.” You said looking at him with a smile.

“No problem, but what for?” He asked, glancing at you then back at the road.

“For the meal, taking me to set, and letting me stay at your lovely house.”

“Oh it’s no big deal. You helped me heal my burn,” he paused and cleared his throat, “Uhm b-besides, Harry literally begged me to let you stay, and I’ll be gone next week to film Uncharted. So I’ll uh be out of your hair” He joked and your heart dropped. Harry told you Tom is the one that suggested you stay at their house. Now you sat there confused about who to believe. Regardless you were definitely going to have a chat with Harry about all of this.

Tag list:  @averyfosterthoughts @thollandx @mrsjeffwittek @panicattheeverywherekid @racewife2004 @greatpizzascissorstaco @witchything @wheelertozier @runway-to-my-aid

[hufflepuffhollander]

metempsychosis: t. holland series (pt. 3)

a/n | we’re finally getting to the good stuff :-) now that i’m turning this into a submission for a competition i’m having to change all of the names and tenses (bc i can’t submit “y/n” to professionals) so hopefully there aren’t too many typos !

synopsis | A young couple whose lives were both lost in a tragic accident are reincarnated as new people. As they collide as strangers in their second lives, they must try to make sense of the innate connection they feel.

cw | reincarnation au. language, fluff, a lil angst, flashbacks. this one ain’t too sad. 2.6k words.

Read part 2, join the taglist

1993

{ He took a gulp as he opened the door to see her sweet face waiting to be let in. “Hey, glad you found me,” he laughed nervously, arm reaching up and over to scratch at a nonexistent itch on the back of his head.

She wandered through the doorframe, taking in the smell of his apartment, counting the dirty dishes in the sink, smiling at the family photos he had on display. “I’m glad we’re finally getting around to having a movie night,” she grinned back.

“Sorry, you know how crazy school has been-”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Chemistry this and med school that. I can’t believe I’ve found myself swooning over such a nerd.”

“Says the girl who prefers numbers to real people.”

She gave him a dramatic slap to the shoulder, feigning offense. “Just put on the movie before I ditch you for some spreadsheets.”

He gave her lower arm a lighthearted squeeze and guided her over to the couch, putting the tape in and plopping down next to her. He grabbed a blanket off of the armrest and whipped it up in the air, letting it fall spread out across her lap. She looked surprised at his intuitiveness. “I remember you telling me you can’t watch a home movie without a good blanket,” he said.

Her eyes crinkled at the edges at his attention to detail, picking up the corner closest to him and motioning for him to take half of the quilt. “Then you shouldn’t, either.”

The rom-com had an argument scene between the protagonist and his love interest where they disputed over who took what side of the bed the first time they slept together. He laughed at the silliness of it all as she sank further into his body as their chests rose and fell.

“Do you think we’ll need to pick sides of the bed?” he whispered as the scene changed.

“This is only our second date- I won’t be sleeping in your bed anytime soon, mister,” she smiled, stare still pointed at the screen.

“Well, fine, but it seems like this is a conversation we need to have if we have any chance of making it,” he said matter-of-factly.

“Let’s just pick sides of the couch then!” She looked down at her own lap, then at his. “I’m on the left side right now, so I’m claiming it as mine.”

“Wait, I didn’t even get a chance to experience the left side!’

“This is your couch,” she rolled her eyes at his playful tone.

“So I’m just stuck with the right?”

“Yes.”

“Forever?!”

“What other option would there be?”

He huffed in disapproval, but as time and movie dates passed, he had carved his own dugout in the left couch cushion that fit him like a glove. If he ever wasn’t on the right side of her, looking at her side profile from that specific angle, he couldn’t help but feel out of place. When they did finally share a bed, there was no need to fuss over who took which side, and no matter how many new couches they went through in different moves at different stages of their life, he sat to the right, learning to keep a throw pillow on his lap to anticipate her inevitably lying down and resting her head on it. }

You walked over to Tom, the soft padding of your feet against the wooden floors ringing out as the only sound in the suddenly quiet apartment.

“Can I get you something to drink?”

“Uh, coffee, if you have it,” he replied, still clutching the throw pillow in his lap.

“Really? At 8pm?”

“Yeah, caffeine doesn’t affect me, I have one of those recessed genes or something.”

You shrugged and obliged, happy to have something to keep you busy as you paced over to the kitchen to brew the coffee, holding your hip. Tom swiveled around to watch you work.

His words sliced through the silence. “Are you feeling any better than earlier? You seemed pretty off in the car-”

“I’m fine.” You didn’t want to replay the emotions you felt while Tom was driving in your head, so you cut him off before he could keep talking about it. “Here’s your coffee.”

He took a sip and burned his tongue, scrunching up his face in such a cute way that you couldn’t help but let out a small giggle, sitting down next to him on the couch.

“Fuck, that’s hot!” he started fanning his stuck out tongue like it would do something, the corners of his mouth tugging into a smirk when he noticed you were laughing.

“I’m sorry, you literally just watched me brew it...” You shrugged, still entertained by his dramatic display.

The mood changed then and you were finally able to loosen yourselves up, able to chime in with conversation, exchanging eye contact that didn’t make either one of you nauseous. Now that you had the chance to look into Tom’s eyes for a little while longer, you was able to see just how mesmerizingly milky they were.

He continued in a panic. “I can’t lose my tongue! That’s how I make a living!”

You raised an eyebrow at him and he shot back a face of realization.

“That did not come out how I meant it to.”

You giggled again, pulling a blanket over your lap.

“I meant because I sing-”

“Yeah, Tom, I figured.”

You both had laugh lines splaying across your faces and you felt yourself settle back into the cushions a little easier, growing more used to being in his presence. Once you had given it a chance, you and Tom actually got along quite well.

“Speaking of which, can I hear something?”

“You want me to play for you?”

“Well, I’m an artist and you got to see my work...so, yeah,” you smiled, poking at his shoulder.

“Um, I don’t have my guitar,” Tom blurted out an excuse, because he was currently terrified of singing to you; you already made him excitedly nervous enough.

But you weren’t letting him off the hook that easy. “Isn’t it just in your car?”

“...so you saw it, then.” He sighed in defeat, getting up to get his keys.

“Yep.”

“You’re really gonna make me sing for you?”

You smiled and nodded at him.

“It’s the least you can do now that I’ve graciously opened my home and my coffee pot up to you.”

He shook his head as he laughed and ran out to grab the instrument. Once he was settled back down on the sofa, you watched him with your head tilted to the side as he became lost in the strings, tuning and then strumming onto them a truly beautiful melody. He saw you in his peripheral so seemingly enthralled watching him play, your bottom lip half bitten as you focused on his hands and fingers moving.

“Well, truthfully, I haven’t come up with anything good in a few days,” he said, still in denial that his dreamy muse had abandoned him. “So what’s a song you know? I’ll just play a cover.”

You pondered for too long on the question, thinking your answer would hold a lot more weight about your character than it actually did. Tom was far from that kind of deep thinking; he was too busy taking in the way your wavy hair framed your hollow cheeks.

“How about ‘Iris’?” You took a chance on one of your favorite old songs, assuming he wouldn’t know how to play it.

“Ah, a classic.” He started to pluck out the first few notes, and you were amazed that he already knew it by heart. But where you expected to hear the lyrics come in, Tom stayed silent. He looked over to your confused expression and stopped the music.

“What?”

“Aren’t you gonna sing the words?”

“It’s not really in my range. You can though, if you want?”

You sat upright. “Me?”

“Well, if you wanna hear the words that badly,” he shrugged, grinning at you.

“Ugh, fine.”

“Wow, she paints and sings?”

“Hey, do you want me to or not?!”

He chuckled at you, loving how rosy your cheeks had gotten, and started the song over, his hands on autopilot.

You sang the first few words of the first verse, and upon hearing your voice, Tom’s jaw all but fell to the floor; he was completely awestruck.

That voice. He knew that voice.

1993

{ He sat slouched on his barstool, listening to someone do a country song a great injustice up on the microphone.

“Why did you drag me to this, mate?”

“To a bar?”

“To a bar with an open mic. I can’t listen to a Beatles’ classic being sung off key for a third time tonight.” He popped the top off of another beer and chugged it down as another amateur made their way to the front of the room.

The girl on the stage started to sing and he all but did a spit take. Her voice was incredible, melting into his ears like smooth butter. And once he turned to look at her, well, that was all it took. He had waded through the bar crowd so quickly that she was barely off the makeshift stage when he approached her, blurting out “Hi, you’re so beautiful, I mean, your voice, I mean...uh, can I buy you a drink?” and kicking himself afterwards for not even trying an ounce to playing it cool. But it didn’t matter; one look was all it took for her, too. }

Tom racked his brain as you continued to sing, your voice echoing through the apartment like an angelic aura. That was it, he thought, she sounds like the singing voice in his dreams—and the day he’d met you was the same day he’d stopped dreaming—no, no...that wasn’t possible.

But he couldn’t shake the eerie thought from his head. Were you trapped in his brain until he met you in person? Had his angel manifested itself into the beautiful singing girl sitting next to him?

He stopped the song halfway through as he felt a rush of copper through his forehead and down to his nose. Shit.

“Um, where’s your bathroom?” he shot up and covered his nose with his sleeve, his guitar haphazardly falling onto the couch behind him.

“Down the hall, first door on the left,” you answered, confused. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, just gotta-” Tom bolted down the hall and shut the bathroom door abruptly, uncovering his face in the small mirror to see a familiar trickle of red pooling above his upper lip. When he reentered the living room after cleaning himself up, he hadn’t realized that his blood had stained the collar of his t-shirt.

“Tom, you have...” you stood up and made her way over to him, touching your finger to his shirt. He looked down in horror and sighed heavily.

“Yeah, it’s…I’m sorry. I get these nosebleeds.”

You smiled up at him and put a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Hey, it’s okay. I might have an extra shirt lying around, if you want it?”

Mortified but infatuated with how warming your touch was, Tom smiled back. “That would be great.”

You came out of your room with a t-shirt in hand. “This is the only one I have that will probably fit you,” you shrugged, tossing it to him and trying not to let your smile show as he stretched to take off his shirt right in front of you, revealing quite the body underneath. You pretended to busy yourself with something, anything, so he wouldn’t notice that you were watching him—but he did, and he didn’t mind it.

Tom’s phone lit up with a call in that moment, and he picked up to hear the tow trucker on the other end.

“Hey, sorry to let you know we won’t be getting out to your area for another few hours, turns out the truck lost its own tire on the freeway and we’re stranded,” the voice said, causing Tom to pace around the living room, speaking curtly with the man on the phone.

“Okay, right, thanks, bye.” He hung up and turned to you, pouting.

“My insurance is shit,” he shook his head. “They won’t be here for hours.”

You feigned upset, but neither of you were too unhappy about the opportunity to spend more time together.

“...do you have anything stronger than coffee?”

You winked at Tom as you made your way back into the kitchen. “Coming right up.”

You passed the night away, mixing your coffee with rum and childhood memories with the anecdotes of a broken heart. As the hours trickled by, you sank closer on the old couch; you kept track of Tom’s heartbeat, watching his chest rise and fall in rhythm, and he kept losing his train of thought in the gold specks of your eyes.

You opened up to him about your disability, and upon seeing you become so open, so vulnerable with him, Tom couldn’t help but lean forward, place a light hand around the shape of your cheek, and capture your lips in his own. Upon the contact, you both felt as if you had been delightfully tased—and it sent your head reeling.

You saw fragmented scenes in your head—images of flashing lights, a shouting couple, a tender, loving kiss frozen in time. As Tom pulled back, the fantastical man in your head followed suit, and you doubled over on the couch as a shock of familiarity churned your stomach at the realization that the man had been a dead match for Tom.

The flashes continued, and the girl on the receiving end of the kiss became less pixellated; you felt the warmth of a lifetime of memories flooding your system as you registered that the girl in the images was, in fact, you yourself.

Tom held you upright as you held your face in your hands, shaking your head softly. “y/n, what just happened? Was it the kiss? Did I read the room wrong? I’m-”

“No, Tom, it wasn’t you,  I just…” you trailed off, bolting up from the couch and quickly pacing to the kitchen. “I need some water.”

He watched you from his seat with concern, readying himself to run to your rescue, just as he heard the loud, startling sound of a horn. The tow truck had finally made it.

“You should go,” you said, refusing to turn around and look Tom in the eye for fear of making any more sense of what she’d just seen.

“y/n-”

“Please go.”

“Please tell me I can see you again.”

You thought on that for a moment, frightened but unready to let go of this mystery.

“Okay.” You remained staring out of the kitchen window.

Tom stood up and silently exited the apartment, closing the door softly behind him, wondering where in time and space he had just lost your thoughts. As he arrived home much later and finally succumbed to sleep, he wasn’t able to rest long as he was visited by his own nightmare.

He had been in the driver’s seat of his car, unidentified noises pinging here and there as he heard someone mumbling, unable to discern their words. He turned to the passenger, his vision lagging as it made its way to her, and saw none other than you, yourself but not, crying softly, the vividness of your features making the dream feel more like a memory. As he tried to lend a comforting hand—the arm in his dream seemingly extending a mile away to reach you—the car was hit with a blinding force, and the vision went black as he was jolted awake.

[yichens]

thank you once again @yibobibo​ for tagging me ♥ even if, like I said, this is pure torture. I have so many sons that I’ve given up on counting them sigh but here goes.

favourite male fictional characters.

I took it that this meant ten so am going with that (tho am not gonna try and put them into order). am also sticking to all the characters I loved this year. and gonna ramble and add gifs so cutting it here. 

1. Liu Sang

The Lost Tomb Reboot/Reunion: The Sound of The Providence

I have so much love for this boy it’s not even healthy. it’s a bit funny tho bc once I started tltr, I didn’t really like him and almost forgot about him as the first season ended. he just felt so annoying and bitter in what I saw him, even if I did get that he had a Tragic BackstoryTM (I felt for him but well. tltr really made him hard to like at first). but then they brought him back in the second season with his sad puppy eyes and inability to handle his thoughts on wu xie and being all touch-starved and pitiful and whatnot and baam, I had the adoption papers ready. he’s wonderful and so strong and so smart and amazing. and liu chang as his actor has been wonderful (and he’s so pretty my god, have you seen him??)

2. Shen Wei

Guardian

never did I expect to just. fall into this hole after a year? I remember what a mess I was when I first watched guardian over a year ago, right after finishing the untamed. I was in shambles even as I knew how it would end. and now I’ve done this all again while also reading the novel and. my love for shen wei, especially bc it’s zhu yilong acting as shen wei? astronomical. I want to write poetry about him and his stupid responsibilities that he chooses to carry silently and his devotion to zhao yunlan and his love for his ppl and his didi and. I hope that one day I manage to write weilan bc I have this one idea and you can come pry it from my cold, dead fingers if it doesn’t get out there (am also super happy about the edit I made bc my god does he deserve at least that)

3. Cloud Strife

Final Fantasy VII

ok so stepping into the video games territory now. I was waiting for the remake like crazy and it was everything to me once the quarantine hit during spring. the game is so beautiful and I felt like I looked at this gorgeous boy once and was ready to give him my heart (tbh am quite sure he owned my heart before I even learned to know him). he is tragic in so many ways (I’ve only scratched the surface of all of his pain I know) and I wish I could just. hug him a lot. he is kind and cares very deeply even if he hates to show it and I love it how remake showed him also just being a human disaster (some of his scenes are just. peak comedy). I would kill for his smile (I have already cried for it a dozen)

4. Geralt of Rivia

The Witcher (The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt)

if there’s one grumpy, brickwall of a man I love, it’s geralt. I affectionately call him “papa wolf” while playing witcher 3 and his voice in it does things to me (I am just so fond of him ok, begone you dirty fuckers). I got introduced to him through the books and adored him in them bc he is so prickly and sarcastic and still so full of love even if he will never admit to it. he is the father figure I wish I could have in real life. (and yes, I’ve seen the tv series (or at least a couple of the first episodes) and it looks stunning but. this is my version of geralt and that’s the hill I will die on)

5. Xiaoge

Zhang Qiling, Daomu Biji (The Lost Tomb 2)

(wow finding a gif for him was a pain, apparently I gotta learn how to gif or?) ah, my dear boy who I’ve ended up just calling xiaoge bc he seems to prefer it over his real name/title/whatever zhang qiling really is. I got introduced to him through tltr where we really didn’t get to know that much about him bc he was just... there. huang junjie was absolutely stunning tho and his soft smiles made me super fond, but only in the lost tomb 2 did I really fall in love with xiaoge as a character. I was surprised tbh bc I didn’t expect it to be this drama? I had so many doubts about the cast in tlt2 but they all delivered! and I think cheng yi’s xiaoge is now my favorite bc he somehow captured that softness and the pain of him? (and we do not talk about that buxun storyline tyvm) tho now that ultimate note is on the way, I gotta say that xiao yuliang does a wonderful job as xiaoge too!

6. Wu Xie

Daomu Biji (Ultimate Note)

(sorry we have to go with a pingxie gif now but maybe it’s only fitting) tbh it’s hard to choose my favorite version of wu xie. I think all of the actors for him have done amazing job showing wu xie in different parts of his life (all of them are very distinct but still feel like the same person) but currently zheng shunxi takes the lead. I really wanted to put the reboot version of him here (bc I love that mature, relaxed and somehow very soft version of him and the angst is phenomenal and the thoughts he has about death... yeah) but I already have zhu yilong’s face here once so :’D wu xie is just one of those characters you cannot not like. he is so strong, so kind, so stubborn, so wonderfully stupid sometimes and in need of careful protection. I also adore it how smart he is and I could listen to him spew history facts for 10 hours straight (even if it was in a tomb full of blood zombies) ♥

7. Jiang Cheng

Jiang Wanyin, The Untamed

my darling boy! my beautiful angry grape! I love him beyond words. I love him in all of his raging, misunderstood, stupid, sassy, constipated, abused, tragic, bitter, big hearted glory. I could write novels about him (and I did and am still writing oh boy) and his love for ppl and his inability to show that love and his loneliness and his issues. I could also write another novel for all of his outfits etc. bc damn, what a fashion king. he is just so great. he owns my soul. he deserves happiness and in this essay I will

8. Isana Yashiro

Adolf K. Weismann, K Project

I rewatched k project this spring bc a) it’s one of my favorite animes ever (it just looks stunning with all the colors) and b) I love yashiro to bits. I remember falling in love with him when I first watched k project many years ago bc he was just so kind and bright. this time though, I ended up seeing another side of him and my god did I cry. he is... so sweet. he cares for others so deeply and is ready to sacrifice so much for them and his love for his two clansmen... yeah. I think I finally saw the tragedy of him too, all the pain and loneliness and insecurity he decides to hide behind his smile and obnoxious personality. he reminded me a lot of myself and watching him made my heart bleed in a good way

9. Qi Tiezui

Ba Ye, The Mystic Nine

(wow am going to riot for the lack of all the gifs hhh) yes, we’re continuing with the dmbj universe that sucked me in big time this year. the drama of the mystic nine wasn’t probably that earth shattering for me as it somehow got boring more than once but I did love ba ye to bits. he was just... so nice? I got it that he was somehow this “comedic relief” in the drama with all of his funny scenes and ridiculous mannerisms but I could see the brilliance of him. he is warm and smart and kind of a romantic too and he cares for all of his friends so deeply? it was also sweet how protective of him his two zhangs were (does that run in the family? the tendency to imprint into one smart but disastrous man and keep him safe? maybe) and I really hope I knew more about him bc he seemed to have a lot of knowledge and a lot of impact to ppl’s lives (I yelled when they mentioned him in ultimate note, I miss him ;;)

10. Dorian Pavus

Dragon Age Inquisition

(yes I’ve been replaying DA:I this year, this counts!) another darling boy! my lovely sass master son! I have so much love for him and his story in DA:I. he is my favorite companion (and his romance is my favorite too, probably obvious in the way am currently romancing him for the third time) and he has given me a lot of strength. the way he stands up against his father, how he’s ready to reform his homeland instead of walking away, how he’s so caring for those he sees struggling... it’s very warming and I feel like I’m safe with him. it feels a bit silly to say that but he really is that comfort character I will seek out when I just want to know am doing fine :’) (and I am so excited to see him again in DA4! probably?)

+ 11. Li Cu

Tomb of the Sea

yes I cheated a bit (with my own rules lol) to fit li cu here. I didn’t really expect to like him or tomb of the sea as much as I did once I started it? I’ve seen leo wu elsewhere before this (battle through the heavens, nirvana in fire) and his face always makes me think about a sad puppy so maybe I just grew fond over li cu instantly bc he was... so hurt? the first episode really slaps you in the face with all of it, showing him being abused, wounded, kidnapped, tortured, used and then just very, very scared and broken. he continues being that throughout the whole drama and I feel like tomb of the sea (or sand sea or sha hai idk) is the darkest and angstiest story in the dmbj universe. I know it deserves to be bc this is a dark time for wu xie but... my darling li cu. I wish him only happiness ;; he was so strong and smart and wonderful in this and it was just so amazing to watch him grow and find his own place in the world just bc he did something himself (even when he got dragged into all of this bc of wu xie) also I support the wu xie adopts li cu -agenda

Honorary mentions: 

Zhang Rishan, Xie Yuchen and Hei Xiazi from DMBJ universe. The Twin Jades of Gusu and Ouyang Zizhen from The Untamed. The Iron Bull and Fenris from Dragon Age games. Thane Krios, Kaidan Alenko and Jaal from Mass Effect games. The whole lot of Assassin’s Creed protagonists (especially Ezio Auditore and Shay Cormac). Adam Parrish and Ronan Lynch from The Raven Cycle. Neil Josten from All For The Game. Eduon and March from The Smoke Thieves. Qiling from L.O.R.D. Critical World. Luo Fei from Detective L (played by Bai Yu). 

well, with this I can really see that I have a thing for those who are tragic :’D I have a thing for grumpy, prickly and antisocial guys or those who hide their pain behind a smile. maybe it’s bc I am somehow both, even if I can’t show my anger or be mean to others and even if I feel like my smile never sticks either. I just find kinship in all of the characters who are on this list. and I feel like I aspire to be as strong and as kind and as loving despite all the pain I’ve been put through.  

thank you, this was so much fun! and sorry I made this so long and so complicated ^^’ but well, there are just way too many male characters I love haha

at the end I want to tag @i-am-just-a-kiddo​ @ashenwren​ @kholran​ @tiesanjiao​ @lan-xichens​ @aheartfullofjolllly​ @manhasetardis​ and @lzswy​​ ♥ feel free to do this in your own way or not at all! and thank you if you managed to read through my rambling :’D

[brittaperry]

so it’s 2021 and I replayed tlou bc it’s totally not like there are other video games on my shelf that I haven’t finished or even started

originally this was going to be a thread on twitter but then I remembered that talking about anything tlou related over there seems like hell so I’m here instead.

this opening is still one of the best in video game history. like I’m still a mess watching Joel and Sarah fall. rip me (and also Sarah… and now Joel too, I guess).

should I make a tally every time I hear someone from CR? it’s been like ten minutes and I’ve heard 3 of them already.

why do I feel like I know more about the minor characters and their relationships with the main characters in this game than I do about the ones in TLOU2?

Joel is probably canonically stealthy because 1) survivor, and 2) limited supplies, and I like playing stealthy but I am not always good at stealthy.

Ellie pulling a knife on Joel immediately because she thinks he’s hurt Marlene? That’s how you introduce a character.

the women in this game are just so good. like not morally in some cases, but in terms of writing and development.

missing collectibles when I'm trying to collect them all and finally get the trophy makes me scream. no one look at me.

Ellie's excitement over being outside? I am EMOTIONAL.

"Why the hell are we smuggling an infected girl?" that is what they call a wham line.

it started raining here while it was raining in the game. the universe said “let’s really immerse you this time”.

sorry to all the NPCs I travel with but if I don’t search every corner of a place and grab all of the loot, I won’t be able to think about anything else for the next 6+ hours. (flashback to FO4 because yes, I do really need all of this junk, because apparently I’m the only one building the settlements).

I’m not going to talk about how much I hate that bit in the Outskirts when Joel drops down on to the floor with the 4 runners and 1 clicker, but I need you to know how much I hate that bit in the Outskirts when Joel drops down on to the floor with the 4 runners and 1 clicker.

"You got something on your shoe" Ellie is a comedy queen.

the NPCs are useless sometimes. Bill’s just casually walking around while Joel and Ellie run from the bloater.

EXCUSE ME BUT I AM VERY EMOTIONAL ABOUT JOEL AND ELLIE AND HOW MUCH THEIR FRIENDSHIP/SURROGATE FAMILIAL RELATIONSHIP HAS DEVELOPED BETWEEN BOSTON AND PITTSBURGH. YOU CAN REALLY SEE THAT THEY’RE STARTING TO ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER AND I WANT TO CRY.

I missed one of Ellie’s jokes... I’m so disappointed in myself.

I hate the hotel basement part. I hate the hotel basement part. I hate the hotel basement part. I hate the hot--

the fact that you meet and then lose Sam and Henry in the space of a few days still devastates me.

they buried Sam and Henry, and that makes me happy (even though I’m still devastated they’re gone) because they had to just leave Tess where she was, so it’s beautiful that they were able to say goodbye and that those two characters could be laid to rest.

remember when Tommy wasn't an asshole.

no, you're crying over Joel and Ellie.

JOEL TEACHING ELLIE ABOUT FOOTBALL. I JUST!!!!!

I hate when games are like "HINT" because you're taking your time and you want to explore the world they created like, chill.

when Joel falls onto the rebar and the sound gets muffled, echo-y, and goes in and out? how it gets harder to control him? how certain parts of the screen blur? how the screen starts to fade in and out as you're walking because Joel's losing consciousness? A+++ choices. who else is doing it like them?

it's interesting how the first time you play as Ellie in TLOU and the first time you play as Abby in TLOU2 it's winter.

why does Naughty Dog hate horses?

Ellie is one of the greatest video game characters. if you think otherwise, I'm sorry but you're wrong.

why did I think you had bottles and bricks you could throw at David?

AGAIN, ELLIE IS ONE OF THE GREATEST VIDEO GAME CHARACTERS.

AGAIN, JOEL AND ELLIE MEAN THE WORLD TO ME.

THE GIRAFFE. MY HEART.

WHEN JOEL PULLS ELLIE OUT OF THE WATER AND SHE'S NOT BREATHING AND THE FIREFLIES ARE JUST ASSHOLES AND KNOCK JOEL OUT. LIKE NO, I STILL HATE THE FIREFLIES. I get that it’s the apocalypse but you see a guy who’s trying to resuscitate someone who could be his daughter and you’re like “let’s knock him out”?

here's the thing, and I'll go into this more when I play part 2, the fact that they're going to kill Ellie for the cure and they don't even tell her??? Like, Ellie would say yes to it, but they don't ask and I hate them. ALSO, just because they say they can make a cure, there's no promises. AND ALSO, HOW IS IT THAT THERE'S ONLY ONE MAN WHO CAN MAKE THE CURE? okay, that's more of a complaint for the second game, but yeah, HOW IS IT THAT A GUY NAMED JERRY IS THE ONLY PERSON WHO CAN CREATE A CURE? IN TLOU2, WE FIND OUT HE HAD AT LEAST ONE STUDENT (MEL) SO DID HE JUST NOT TELL ANYONE ELSE HOW TO CREATE A CURE BECAUSE HE WANTED TO FEEL SPECIAL? LIKE HE'S NOT THE ONLY SCIENTIST LEFT IN THE WORLD. LIKE THERE ARE TWO OTHER DOCTORS/ASSISTANTS WITH HIM IN THE SURGERY. okay, this is not TLOU related, this is TLOU2, but yeah, I'm still mad about it.

also, the whole giving NPCs names thing is in TLOU and other NPCs will say things like "this is for my friends" so unless this is an update and wasn't in the original (cbf to play on ps3) why was it such a big deal in TLOU2? like when you're in the hospital, the Fireflies call one of the NPCs Ethan.

just realised I missed ONE Firefly pendant. I hate everything.

back to what I was saying before, Marlene says "you can still do the right thing", which implies that the cure can still be made but like, she'd have to assume that Joel did kill Jerry to get to Ellie and she still says that so like, were there other people who could've made the cure?

did Joel do the right thing? no. would I have done exactly the same thing? yes.

THIS GAME IS STILL ONE OF THE BEST VIDEO GAMES/EXPERIENCES.

I didn’t take many screenshots, but here is probably the worst encounter I’ve had during this fight.

Also, that looks like the most useless bladed melee weapon. Like, Joel just made it for the aesthetic, right?

Anyway, on to Left Behind.

[icharchivist]

first: WAHHHHHHHHH 😭😭😭 I got so emotional!!! so emotional!!!! so much that I can’t even do this first second pattern bc I have SO MANY thoughts!!!!!!! I’m writing this in my notes instead of straight into the askbox so u know it’s serious business™

ok so debut night!!! I was like ahah yeah it’s a tragedy whatever it’ll be fun to start out with and then the voice acting was SO good that it knocked me out of the park and I almost cried haha. it’s crazy how good the voice acting in a3 is like I love how the dialogue and voice acting works well together bc like it’s limited but so effective!! u can so very clearly see and understand the style they’re going for. especially like tsumugi’s death scene... the Talent jumped out it really did... uh and ok so. I think I may be a littleeee confused abt the play bc I had always interpreted tasukus last lines as raphael to be like abt his being secretly in love with michael. but now that I’m actually reading the line that’s like oh don’t fall for a human it only ends in misery I know that all too well or whatever... ig the implication is that raphael was in love with another human / the same lady michael was in love with in the play. side note I had to go back and edit the proper names in instead of tasuku and tsumugi lol... but speaking of!! speaking of the voice acting and the play itself I 1) love how blatantly obvious it is when tsumugi goes for that grander, tasuku like style of delivery!! like u could just so easily feel the difference it was wild... and 2) tsuzuru is once again spot on with his writing, lol... I felt that like raphaels inability to save or help michael really parallels how tasuku feels abt tsumugi so well, and it’s wonderful that they r able to resolve things and tasuku can properly compliment him on his acting where the angels fail to do so. it’s very good. and I think the play rly highlights (for me at least) that like. to tasuku, it was tsumugi who was sort of an unreachable existence. like were he to idolize and respect someone’s acting, it would be tsumugi. and I think that like caring carries over into their roles really well, because I think in michael’s love for a human tasuku sees like... tsumugi’s style of acting. the heart that he’d lost while within the god troupe. mb I’m losing my mind a little but ah. the play rly works with their relationship so well!! im very excited to see the other winter ppl get main roles tho—same for all the troupes!!! now this ask is too long so I’ll have to do another part lol

going to start off this second part of the ask abt hisoka bc oh my GOD. hisoka. like I was just thinking “hm where r the winter troupe cgs anyways” and then BAM. hisoka CRYING???? especially since he doesn’t seem that emotional it was a really hard hit!!! and who tf is august.... ok well actually theory time!! skipping ahead to the end theres that note that like mentions December and April and. not to expose my friend but very many years ago (a couple years before a3 was launched, at the very least) she wrote this story where there were like 12 orphan assassins and they were all named after months. I remember the main dude was named dec lol. coupled with my “hisoka is capable of murder” bit? listen.... I’m not saying anything but I’m also not not saying anything if u feel me. also I feel like assassin / thief with mysterious background is a common trope!! that was silver from the pokémon adventures manga too... why is this my reference point lmao. anyways I’m unclear if assassins would make it into a3 but like.... if the yakuza and supernatural stuff makes it in...

okay moving away from conspiracy theories and into emotions!!! the quotes from like EVERY mankai actor before the final production made me SO emo... and yay!!! they won!!!! (though admittedly I almost had a heart attack when no one clapped) but they won!!!! that ending cg!!!! and I adore how sakyo immediately goes after god troupe man (I know his name is reni I just don’t feel like calling him that) for the money lol it’s just so sakyo-like. also I love the lil mixed troupe interactions!! I found the game night ch so fun.... ahh, now I wanna reread that ch since it was so good lol

all in all I was super satisfied ahh!! I am SO excited to start up spring troupe again (HELLO character development!!! and chikage) and I’m even MORE excited to get thru all the act 1 events!!!! as a final note, is there any way to reread or replay the flair conversations? I didn’t want any spoilers for the plays while I was doing the practices for them so I kinda sped thru the first time ahah...

HELLO FRIEND IM SO HAPPY TO GET SUCH A LENGHTY ASK ABOUT WINTER IM LKDJFLKDJFLKFD  Winter makes me feel shrimps emotions (i know the whole “shrimps can see more colors than humans can’t comprehend” thing has been disproved but i’m not letting go of that expression, i REALLY feel emotions humans can’t comprehend anymore and i’m going to make it everyone else’s problem)

1) First about the voice acting, rIGHT this is just so fascinating to me!!! I remember after act 2 i came back to reread the main act 1 chapter and i was so thrown out by how GOOD the voice acting was, especially for the first few troupes having to convince you they’re not comfortable or good at acting yet. Winter whole thing is that they’re more subtle and mature and you really feel that with their voice acting, Tsumugi’s voice especially knock it off the park anytime he’s on screen. 

2) Second: what does it say about me that i’ve never, ever considered your reading a possibility because i was so set on “oh Raphael you’re in love with Michael sooooo bad you see it as a tragedy already because you can see him throw his life away” i didn’t even consider “maybe Raphael went through that too”. Though i guess if we’re going with that reading i can totally see “The Woman” they let themselves consumed by easily be a representation of acting or even more the God Troupe, with Raphael/Tasuku knowing to step away before it consumes him completely while Michael/Tsumugi, by his love and passion, pushed himself until he broke, which fits and it hurtsssss god Winter plays hits so hard.

3) Third: oh god yeah when Tsumugi goes for Tasuku’s acting it’s just. It makes me SO uncomfortable, i’ve experienced this scene like three times by now and the third time i was just “can i skip it i can’t go through this again i can’t Tsumugi i love you i can’t do this”. It doesn’t match the play at all and it just throws everyone off balance, and Tsumu you could have told theM YOU WANTED TO DO THAT.... god

4) Fourth: I LOVE YOUR READING SO MUCH I LOVE IT I LOVE IT YES YOU’RE RIGHT!!! Just as we follow Tsumugi let his passion consumes him until he breaks, Tasuku’s character arc really jumps out in Raphael, like, everything you say!!!  The way Tasuku/Raphael knew how the feelings Tsumugi/Michael felt would hurt him on the long run but he didn’t know what to do about it until it was too late, the regrets and the way Raphael voices his frustrations.... Tasuku struggles to be honest without acting (Tasuku pls i love you) but having such a role really help him expressing all he feels about Tsumugi and i’m HHHH this is so good so so good!!! but yeah i also love that Tasuku finally manages to actually compliment Tsumugi naturally, that he understands he can’t let him destroys himself again and it’s just gnhhhhh Tasuku is so kind and considerate and i care about him so much....!!!

5) Fifth: “i’m losing my mind a little” winter mood, winter mood winter mood- (though every troupe’s mood tbh but Winter is gnhhhhh kdhd hdhjf??? you feel me) (i am BIASED i can’t help it TwT) but yeaH i’m looking forward to see how you react to the others plays because the roller coaster juST BEGUN!!!

Onto part 2... Winter Troupe Chapter Feels... 2!

6) Sixth: DLFJDFKLDF HISOKAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE HIM SO MUCHHHHH. Hisoka crying fucked me up so bad!! so so bad!! Like on my first read i didn’t know what to think of him as he starts out very apathic to his troupe and then the more it goes on the more you can feel he starts to open up and i’m soft for this sort of slow burn, but then this whole scene happened and it HIT ME IN THE FACE, he was crying, i was crying, we were all crying, the Unopening Door opened a flood of emotions i can’t cope with. He sounds SO VULNERABLE during that scene and i know all of the Winter Troupe united on “taking care of him” but that’s really the moment i went “i care you and i will keep taking care of you” and look at me now. Thanks funky little scene for ruining my life. I’m glad you liked it i’m aldhjflkjdfkd Hisokaaaaa.....

7) Seventh: I am not commenting on the theory but 👀 that’s so highly specific your friend has a galaxy brain i love it. and i love the idea of “well we have yakuza and supernatural entity what’s an assassin adding himself to it” dLKFJDLKF i know everyone in Mankai calls Izumi out everytime someone joins but that’d be peak. I’m not going further about what December and August and April are all about but i love this plotline sO much, the few mentions of August when Hisoka regained his memories for a minute still haunts me, the guilt he seems to feel and this pain i’m just... godddd such a good set up. I love this plotline.

8) Eigth: EMOTIONS!!  Oh GOD YEAH THE ENDING WITH ALL THE OTHER ACTORS... I cried so hard it’s just. It really shows you it’s not just the culmination of the Winter chapter but of all the act 1 main plot and it really makes you feel how much of a journey you’ve been onto!! A3 is so good at showing you the growth of its characters that especially by the end of Winter you really saw how all of them grew in their respective chapters and how cozy they felt in their new home in the remaining chapters, and the fact this chap has those defining character arc’s lines really drive home “oh my god that was a journey” i love them sO MUCH.... 

9) Ninth: wE WOOOON!!! They’re all so good i just. i’m gonna cry just thinking about it dlfdjlfk i know like, the game has so many content so you know it can’t end at the end of Winter but the suspense really was there. BUT YEAH LMAO I LOVE SAKYO DOING THAT IMMEDIATLY, man sure has the eyes on the prize and we love him for that.  AND THE GAME NIGHT SCENE they are all sO CUTE and sWEET and they’re a family now and i’m hHHHHH i love a3 a normal healthy amount that isn’t just making me cry thinking about how all of them grew so close even through mixed troupes.

10) Tenth: I am SO happy you were satisfied with the plot so far!! I’m genuinely so happy that you decided to take that journey with us and that you shared all of this with me, and i’m so so happy you liked it!! There is still so much content and all of it is so worth it! 

11) Eleventh: Yes!! The flair conversations are all readable on the Mini-Chat tab! So they’re easily accessible and they’re sorted in a way that’s easy to read so you can feel comfortable skipping the flairs if you want until you have seen the stories the flairs are all about. They’re all kinda set during the rehearsals (except for some crosstroupe conversation that wouldn’t make sense if they were like how the Summer Troupe talks with the Spring Troupe in their Flairs DKLFJDF but it’s okay what is a timeline anyway) so some of them are set pre-development and it’s wild to get back to them. I love rereading Flairs i get emotional everytime.

ANND That’s it for this ask! i had a blast reading through your thoughts and i’m so happy and excited!! i’ll send you the drive now so you can start digging through it whenever you feel like it :3c good luck grinding for act 2, meanwhile i hope you’ll have fun with all the act 1 events i compiled for you!!

(side note i need to update the drive too but it’s mostly act 2 content anyway, the only two act 1 things i need to update on it is Sakuya’s birthday card i think?? i think Itaru’s is already in act 2 so i’ll try to get around to it eventually but it’s so far away anyway) (edit: i forgot that the three cards i got for the latest revival are from act 1 DLKJFD okay so i’m missing three cards -)

The drive has backstages and event stories and it may be a lot and overwhelming ahah. Focus on the event stories for the plot and go back to the backstages whenever you feel like it, no need to read them at the same time, unless you want to in which case everything is set up for you :3c and there’s a file with cards that aren’t associated to events too so... lots of goodies hanging around. I’ll send it to you in DM ;O 

Take care and thank you so much for all your thoughts! my inbox remains wide opened for any others thoughts you may have as you go further into it :3c

[ohsweetflips]

Can you tell us about your DA protags?? Id love to learn about them 👉👈

yes!!! i have a bunch of secondary/tertiary OCs but i’m just gonna go through my main canon :’)

also this is probably gonna be a bit of a general description more about my personal headcanons of all of them bc 1) i have an expansive canon and 2) my brain is very tired

my main warden is my electra surana!! she’s an elf and a circle mage, and is alistair’s mistress (bc i refused to have my heart broken again by him breaking up with me so you KNOW i maxed that persuasion skill). i think my favorite thing abt electra is that i originally intended for her to be like, super angsty? like i made her when i was 15 and also angsty so i kinda expected her to be this jaded character with a tragic life but just like... as i kept replaying her, it was so much more narratively satisfying for her to be happy? like both with her in-game choices and the way i started to think of her in a more “stuff we don’t see in canon” type of stuff, she just became this OC who does everything she can to save whoever possible (and imo that’s exemplified in her choosing to save the city of amaranthine) and like the way i imagine all her friendships, it’s just so much better for me to think of her as a character who chooses joy in spite of all the shit she’s been through (and she does have a pretty tragic backstory, imo). also, in my canon, she’s my main inquisitor’s cousin! though bc of Stuff, they don’t meet until post-inquisition. and her younger sister, kira, is one of my tertiary inquisitors!! i also headcanon that she does find the cure for the calling and she does have an eventual son with alistair bc i love family stuff.............

my hawke is dani hawke, and she’s a mage (and sided with the mages)! and romanced fenris, and i 100% headcanon that isabela marries them (bc can’t captains like marry people???) and. oh boy. if electra is the one who missed out on the tragic character trope, then hawke is where it fell. like it is kinda canon bc, imo, hawke has the least celebratory ending but my hawke is. going through it. just bc i see hawke in general as such a tragic figure, and i kinda lean into that. like i primarily play purple hawke but, as we get into act 3, i start dabbling with red hawke options bc my hawke is just. so tired. and so done with having to fix everyone’s problems. like hawke really just is A Person who got tangled up in too much shit. she also might be where i store like at least a fraction of my overall family issues. but hawke is also where i really lean into the found family bc her kirkwall crew really is her family, like, by the time da2 finishes, she only has carver left and, even though they’re working on it, they still have a strained relationship. i headcanon that, by the time hawke gets to skyhold, she’s just so tired and so done and she was ready to sacrifice herself in the fade. varric, fenris, and the entire kirkwall crew really, are very happy that the inquisitor didn’t let her do that. i also headcanon that, after skyhold, fenris and hawke finally do settle down (as best they can) and eventually have a daughter.

and my inquisitor!!!!! camris lavellan!!!!!!!! idk if he’s necessarily my favorite bc it’s hard to choose, but he’s more so my self-insert and my comfort OC like i do the most self-projecting onto camris. i joke that i don’t know where he ends and i begin but tbh i’d be lying if i said that he hasn’t grown as an OC alongside me growing as a person. he’s a mage and romances dorian!! i almost have too much abt camris to just focus on one thing to talk abt (so if u ever wanna send questions,,,,, :3) but like. he just makes me happy :’) inquisition is the game i’ve played the most so he’s probably had the most consistent development overtime? or at least the one i have put the Most time into, but i still think him and electra are tied for who has the most expansive canon pre- and post- game. and, as i said before, he’s my warden’s cousin!! that whole storyline is very tragic bc their fathers were brothers in clan lavellan but electra’s father was exiled (though in my canon, it’s revealed he was going to run away from clan lavellan anyway with an apostate from the local alienage and he was going to tell camris’s father aka his brother to go with him but then uh. bad things happened real fast.) i equate that whole part of my canon kinda like what happened w/ merrill in da2? but not exactly, it’s more so just the easiest point of comparison. and also!!! my secondary inquisitor is camris’s older sister, adaranni! i didn’t intend for this to happen but i think it’s very cute that camris romances dorian and is best friends with josephine, and then adaranni romances josephine and is best friends with dorian. i just think it’s neat! i value all my heroes so much and they’re all very special to me but camris just hits a bit different omg

thank you for asking about them, i love talking abt my protags :’)

EDIT: WAIT I HAVE PLAYLISTS!!!! electra surana & electra/alistair, dani hawke & fenhawke, camris lavellan & pavellan

[404fmdtaejin]

aesthetic, playlist & headcanon — decipher’s 13th year anniversary

summary: decipher debuted on may 25, 2008 under bc entertainment. debuting as young fresh faces means that in 2021, thirteen years later, decipher’s still managing on as a household name. one of bc’s longest running groups with no members leaving nor the lineup changed, decipher remains a strong force that still (somewhat) takes over the charts today. despite taejin’s distaste for idol world, if there’s one thing he’s able to accept — it’s that his members are his heart and soul. playlist summary: thirteen years, and decipher’s released so many albums / mini-albums etc. taejin’s been vocal about what songs he likes and which ones he doesn’t as with any other idol and their respective discographies. however, this playlist highlights what taejin considers the “peak” of decipher, and how they were able to climb up the ladder and create a name for themselves. yes, there were detractors questioning decipher’s young age and their talents, but these songs have given substantial proof that 1) decipher deserves their clout and 2) decipher and their performance / live vocals are no joke. warnings: none wc: 778

playlist

1. replay — decipher (누나 너무 예뻐)  2. ring ding dong — decipher (링딩동) 3. sherlock — decipher (셔록) 4. dream girl — decipher (드림 걸) 5. everybody — decipher (에브리바디)  6. view — decipher (뷰) 7. 1 of 1 — decipher 8. a-yo — decipher (에이요) 9. quasimodo — decipher (화살) 10. don’t let me go — decipher (투명 우산) 11. marry you (yes i know this isn’t a decipher song but in my head let me have it in my imagination) — decipher <3 12. rescue — decipher 

thirteen years!! there’s probably a headcanon that i did for the twelfth year, but this one is for thirteen

thirteen is an unlucky number, but taejin doesn’t care — it’s just one step closer to fifteen years, and at this point, seeing as how decipher isn’t facing disbandment anytime soon, taejin just wants to hit that fifteen year mark right now because it just shows decipher’s been a household name for a very very long time

it’s shocking to him that his career spans almost a decade older than these newer boy groups (vive and quicksilver will be his 10 year younger hoobaes :’( )

still, that’s still something to be proud of, taejin supposes? like it’s more of a wistful thinking that he’s been able to manage this long inside an industry while being able to pursue his own individual adventures

luckily, aside from this quarter — decipher’s been relatively free meaning they haven’t been on the top priority for bc’s releases, giving decipher free-range to pursue individual activities

taejin’s spent that time acting and serving as faces of various brands, but in reality — he’s still an idol at the end of the day

despite his dislike for the idol world right now and finding decipher’s releases in current day more mundane, he looks back at his previous years with some fondness

like there’s nothing comparable to what he felt in 2008? especially because he was so young, the bottom of the pole and now he’s this bigger name where the people he debuted with are either disbanded or not around anymore. meanwhile, decipher’s still kicking and relatively doing well in terms of sales and charting

even though decipher hasn’t expanding sonically in the past few years, taejin says that’s okay. well, at least to him because 1) that rids the hard choreography and 2) decipher’s already been well around the block experimenting in different sounds. aka they did so much of it early on that by now, he has no regrets

being a leader has it’s hardships as well, mainly because he serves as a figurehead for his group. it’s been like this for so many years, but now he feels a bit guilty because he’s been so far off in his own activities that he hasn’t been able to keep up with his group

this means he often forgets steps, forgets old lyrics when decipher is forced to perform on stage

plus, he’s gotten a lot of promotions because of his dramas / brand deals, which also isolates him a bit from his members. this leaves this unacknowledged guilt he can’t really bring up to his members, so he tries to compensate in other ways by checking up on them and making sure they’re doing okay

(at the end of the day, they’re brothers. so, taejin will have it as that and know they have his back just as much as he has theirs)

honestly — taejin’s just really proud of decipher as much as he hasn’t talked about it that much publicly. he’s just proud of how much they’ve gone through? it’s cliche to say ups and downs, but really — decipher’s had about everything thrown their way in terms of what bc gives them and throws them into

over a decade, and bc’s still proud of flaunt decipher as their “poster children’ for good behavior. sure, maybe minor scandals have affected the members here and there? but generally, they’re well-received and plus, decipher’s managed to hold a consistent music career.

it shows their fans are still caring about them, even if they’ve out grown the “nuna” fan phase. now, their newer fans are a lot younger than them, but for the most part their fanbase stays consistent

i guess taejin’s just proud that they’re a rock-solid combination that still can kick it on stage

and taejin won’t admit it out loud, but he always keeps inside his head that decipher can out-sing any of the groups (no offense to these other groups) but decipher’s able to manage as a group, a complete live performance with no back vocals / relying on backtrack because they are that STURDY live

and taejin lowkey judges every group that relies on their back vocals and can’t sing live lmao he will talk shit with his members and bring out the latte talks, saying “man idols these days can’t sing and dance? back in our day we didn’t have any backtrack!”

2008 till now, taejin’s proud to say he’s decipher’s leader. just not happy to say he’s an idol <3

to be fair, taejin’s vocals are also still top tier as they were when he debuted :~)