#(yes i get how important hughes was for roy)

[sassydefendorflower]

I do find it very interesting how differently Scar's and Roy's violence against Edward is viewed within the fandom (and partially the narrative).

There's two specific instances I am thinking of (some of the other happenstances of violence play into different dynamics better discussed at another time).

The first one is the legendary first encounter between Scar and Edward. He only finds them because some military employee uttered the name "Fullmetal" while the State Alchemist killer was prowling East City and he hunts them down the same he would have hunted down Roy or Armstrong or Grand Basque.

And then he almost kills Ed - because of what Ed stands for, no matter the fact that he's a child. By his own admission later in the series, Scar is blinded by hatred and vengeance at this point. It doesn't matter that Edward is fifteen. It doesn't matter that Edward never set foot into Ishval, or that Resembool was bombed during the war.

What matters is that Edward is a symbol in Scar's way.

The second instance is something less often discussed, but something just as - if not more - interesting to me.

Because this is the scene where a - wrath-stricken - Roy Mustang threatens to burn Edward should he not release the object of Roy's fury.

And it's not a funny scene. In the story we've just seen just what exactly Roy is capable off. We've seen him burn eyes and ears and tongues, we've seen him enjoy it. And blinded by his personal need for vengeance we see him threaten an ally (maybe even a friend) with severe bodily harm, maybe even death.

Just as Scar almost ninety chapters (49 episodes) earlier, Roy is willing to kill a child because he is blinded by hatred.

And it's fascinating to me. Because of course Scar and Roy are parallels to each other - at least in this part of the story. Throughout the entire story, both men circle Wrath - the humunculus, the Fuhrer, and their own fatal flaw. It is no coincidence that Roy is shown in direct contrast with Bradley during Ishval, just as it is no coincident that it is Scar who finally strikes him down with the help of some godly intervention.

Both Scar and Roy have to overcome their wrath specifically as part of their story arc to fulfill their character development. Which is why Scar is the only one who doesn't outright condemn Roy for wanting to torture Envy - he understands the need, just as Hawkeye understands that Envy has to die either way. He just also understands what this kind of fury does to a person, has witnessed firsthand how it almost cost him what little community he had left after the genocide - and how giving up on this all-consuming vengeance (without forgiving the Amestrian Government or even Roy for what they did) is what allowed him to build a new community and a new future for his people.

Which makes the timing of this scene - and the fact that in both examples it is Edward who almost falls victim to their punishing hands - so intriguing.

Because we meet Scar first. We meet him as an antagonist at the beginning of the story, and the first real impression we get of his mission is colored by Ed's limited worldview and our affection as the reader for the protagonist of this story. As such, Scar's violence against someone who bears no fault for the horrors he suffered seems unjustified and leaves a stronger impression.

By the time Roy snaps (after a long road of character development that seems very heroic but is always tinged with the thinly veiled truth that Roy is ready to snap at any given point) Scar has been an ally for more than 14 episodes. Scar has already found redemption in the eyes of our heroes by meeting Winry and finding closure.

Roy on the other hand has accompanied us, the reader, the viewer, as a cunning hero with a dark past. The charming, suave manipulator with a heart of gold. By the time he threatens to murder a child, THE CHILD even, we view him as our friend. We trust him.

As such it is easier to forgive him for what he almost did.

And I think that's fascinating. Because if we look at it bare-boned, there is little difference in what happened: they both almost killed/harmed Edward but ultimately didn't (they were both stopped), they were both driven by hatred and vengeance, they were both enacting "justified" revenge on the wrong target, they are both allies for a large part of the story, they are both driven by the same motive (revenge/Ishval) - and yet, it often seems as if Roy's attempted murder is forgotten, while Scar's dictates how half the fandom interacts with him.

Part of that is due to the placement of these scenes - it is Scar's introduction, and Roy's third act culmination of his character arc - but it is still something I think about.

Because it is integral for Roy's character (and the reason why everyone tried to stop him from torturing Envy further) to understand that he was willing to kill Edward so late in the game - just as it is integral to understanding Scar's character that he quickly abandoned his senseless hatred of Edward (though I doubt they would ever be friends) and instead is part of the group that stops Roy from enacting his revenge.

They mirror each other, and if anything, Roy is the one who had a character deterioration arc before he pulled it back around in the last minute.

Scar is a classical anti-hero, someone with a narratively linear path towards healing throughout the story. But just because Scar starts as an antagonist, doesn't mean that Roy was meant to be a true hero.

Both their vices is Wrath, only Roy faces his way later in the game. Only Scar embraced moving forward first.

[tare-anime]

Fullmetal Alchemist

Welp, finally I read this manga.

So very late, yes I know, but this and that happened and I've finally able to binge read this amazing 10 years work (2001-2010) in a little more than a week.

Tbh, the first book was mostly world building and kind of slow paced, but starting from the last half of second book.... I can't stop reading.

Wow. Just wow.

As a reader who usually has to wait a week or two between each chapter, being able to read a series from start to finish in a week is quite a different experience, tbh 🤣🤣 I need two days to take a breath and comprehend the story. There must be details that I missed that I need to reread.

Overall, the highlight of this series is the impecabble characterizations and the growth of each character, and character dynamics.

And not only Ed and Al as protagonists, or Winry, Roy, Izumi as the closest support characters but also the people around them up until the minorest characters. I love Scar, Barry the Chopper, the Homonculus, and even the main antagonist Shadow in the flask.

All of them get their moments to shine. All of them got their share of development, and most important, all of them got to do something in the plot!

The world building and plot also been done amazingly. From the current timeline, up until events in the past, and all loose ends being tied up in the end that give me the most satisfactory endings. It is still an open ending, but at the same time the epilogue feels enough.

And of course, this manga contains so many amazing female characters, and each one of them is so badass. They have their strength and weakness and impact to the people around them.

My favorites mommies.... Izumi Curtiz and Olivier Armstrong.

OmG!!!! Especially in these badass moments??? 🛐🛐🛐🛐 My Queeeennn!

Of course, I will always love black haired beauty with knives. LanFan my beloved 💖💖💖💖

And last but not least, Granny Pinnako!

I mean, this person has been there, and will always be there through sweet moments and sorrows. Supporting Trisha and Hohenheim, Ed and Al, Winry. She stands strong for them. She is there when these people needs some strong hands to steady their wobbly legs. And pushes them to carry on with their life.

That is.... one amazing woman right there!!

As far as pairing ships, being a TwiYor fan I am, I've always been bombarded with Royai fanarts (and I'm not complaining). Yes, I noticed the tragic pasts, the relationship, and how supportive Royai can be (and it is quite similar to TwiYor in a way), but I think for FMA, I lean more to Ed and Winry ship.

Don't get me wrong, I love both ships.

But seeing Ed and Winry grow from little boy and girls, do their share of hardships, realize their feelings, and finally voice their awkward proposal. Auugghhh!!!! 🥰🥰🥰🥰

My favorite moments for these ships are:

Yes yes, I will still love angst and hurt/comfort whenever I go 🤣🤣🤣

Oh, other ships that I like: LanFan and Lin, Izumi and Sig, May and Alphonse, Mr and Mrs. Hughes.

All in all, what an amazing series. I'm glad I finally able to read this 🥰🥰🥰🥰 and will do a reread while waiting for the next spy x family chapter.

[flameleads]

Yet Another Man's Battlefield. Some unorganized thoughts that will someday become a meta post:

gay subtext, the OVA

Roy's first reaction to seeing Heathcliff deal with racism was not to step in, and there was probably a reason for that.

Roy's a competitive idiot.

Maes is also a competitive idiot.

Roy went against six upperclassmen when he saw Heathcliff in danger. No backup. Didn't care about the odds. We love him for this.

Roy also threw the first punch after trying the diplomatic approach.

Maes is a crafty son of a gun whose first instinct was to protect Heathcliff and Roy. We love him for this.

That moment there? Roy realized he was in love with one Maes Hughes.

Why are they digging a hole?

Heathcliff has such good goals of dismantling racism that we later see mirrored in Miles. We love him for this.

Roy's answer to the "why did you enlist" question is rehearsed.

In Ishval, Roy of course runs into danger without anyone backing him up. The trend continues.

Heathcliff shoots him center of mass. If his State Alchemist watch wasn't there, he wouldn't have survived (I mentioned this in another post of mine).

Maes followed Roy because he knows his friend is an impulsive idiot who acts first, thinks later when there's active danger.

How heartbreaking it was for both of them to have to kill their friend.

Roy hesitated. Maes did not.

Roy asks Maes important questions because he is trying to process what happened. He doesn't want to. Neither of them want to.

The amount of grace they give each other is amazing.

They process Ishval very differently, and Roy cannot do what Maes does. He compartmentalizes, yes, but he knows he can't just let someone close like that.

Maes is probably the only person Roy trusts with his actual feelings about Ishval aside from Riza. And vice versa.

Getting off the train in Central, Roy was alone, and he knew he had to be. He never considered himself strong. Never did during Ishval. The compartmentalization starts there.

[scienceoftheidiot]

My dear @qs63 prompted me yesterday to write a short Post Promised Day kiss, and before I turned around this one shot was 2,5K long.

You can read it on AO3 or under the cut here, since it's a prompt (but... Not that short 😅) ⬇️

The phone startled Roy awake. Disoriented, he got up in a hurry, groaned when he blindly walked into the door, pawed at the wall to find the light switch, put the lights on, and ran to the living room, blinking under the sudden harsh light.

He had no idea what time it was, where he was, who it could be - probably late at night, his apartment in Central, and at this time, the only person who could call was -

"Yes?"

"Brigadier General."

He still had to get used to that.

The title reminded him of Hughes. His posthumous promotion. Everytime he was called this way, a shudder climbed up his spine. He hoped it would ease with time.

But what was more important, was who was calling him.

"Hawkeye? Is that you?"

"Uh. Yes. Sir."

Roy passed a hand on his face, his sensitive eyes squinting under the bright living room light. That slight hesitation. He knew what it was. Placing the receiver at the crook of his neck, he pulled on the phone to take it with him as he went on a search for his trousers - his watch was in the pocket.

The cord was too short. His trousers were in his bedroom. And he had nothing else to ask to Hawkeye - asking her how she was doing was out of question.

"What time is it?"

"If it's too late, sir, I can -"

"No, no, I can't find my watch, is all."

"In your trousers right pocket. If I remember well, you also have a spare one in the second drawer of the chest in your living room."

"You're the best, Hawkeye." The phone cord was long enough for him to reach the drawer.

Two am. Roy frowned. It wasn't right, it wasn't right at all.

"I can't decide if you're very early or very late, Captain."

"I'm sorry, I --"

"Easy. I'm just teasing."

Mustang, stop with the fucking banter.

"Nightmare?"

"I just... Needed to hear your voice."

Roy's hand tightened on receiver. For her to admit this, it must have been one hell of a nightmare, indeed. He lowered his voice, trying to sound more soothing than his usual tease.

"I'm here, Hawkeye. In one piece. Everything works more or less like it should, too."

"Yes. I can hear that. Thank you."

"My pleasure, Captain."

Silence.

"I think I'll hung up, now."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. You need to sleep. I'm sorry to have -"

"You do, too, you know? Need to sleep."

"I'll be okay."

"Captain Hawkeye calling me at two am means she's very not okay, you know. Ask anyone. They'll tell you this."

"I don't want just anyone knowing I call you in the middle of the night, sir."

"Well, ask me, and I will tell you you're not okay and you shouldn't hung up just yet."

Silence. But she didn't hang up.

"Hawkeye?"

"I think I need - nevermind. I should -"

"You know what, I think we should go out one of these days. With the team, I mean -" he added quickly. "Have a glass or two. We haven't really since -"

"Since the boys threw a party to celebrate you and Havoc's healing."

"Yeah, and I asked you to take me back after an hour cause my head was going to explode, so I didn't really enjoy it that much, remember?"

"I do. And yes, it - it's a nice idea."

There was something loaded, there. She sounded like she wanted it, but like she was also disappointed.

"Hawkeye?"

"...Sir?"

"Did you mean you needed to see me just now?"

Yet another silence.

Roy was tempted to add something, anything, to stop her from hanging up on him, to stop her from returning to her bed or her sofa or anywhere in her flat as alone and lost and upset as she sounded. But he also knew that if he said anything, there, then she would never admit it.

"... Yes?"

Roy felt his shoulders slump and something warm twist under his ribs. He had to blink away a speck of dust in his eye - definitely dust, damn his eyes for being so sensitive nowadays.

"Come. I'll put the water to boil."

Roy had started to worry a little, pacing back and forth in his kitchen, when he heard the knocks. He opened the door on a very sorry looking and literally drenched Hawkeye.

His first reaction was to step towards her, intent on hugging her, stopping himself at the last second, and closing his mouth on the "Oh, Riza..." that threatened to go past his lips.

"You should have told me it was raining, I hadn't noticed. I'd have come to pick you up with the car."

"It's okay. I think I needed a walk."

Roy suspected she'd taken so long because she'd turned around multiple times, unable to decide if she should act on his offer or not. An irrational feeling of pride washed over him, but he couldn't tell if it was for her or himself.

He noticed her eyes didn't leave him, following his every move, ever since he'd opened the door.

One hell of a nightmare.

Roy cleared his throat, taking her coat from her shoulders. She let him do so. To Roy, she felt like a puppet with its strings cut.

"Make yourself at home. I'll fetch you a towel for your hair."

He turned around, feeling her eyes boring through his back.

It was a rare occurrence, but it happened that one of them decided to call the other in the middle of the night, needing to speak, share, with someone who knew what they had gone and were still going through. They usually just sat at either side of the room, silent, a warm cup of tea in hand.

But not alone. Together.

The tea had long infused, and Roy gestured for Riza to sit as he left the towel on the small kitchen table, and went to pour two cups. He gave one to her. Her hands, reddened and dried by the cold outside, curled immediately around it.

He sat at the other side of the table. They waited in silence for the tea to cool down enough to be drinkable.

After a while, Roy took a tentative sip and a no less tentative step.

"Wanna talk about it?"

Hawkeye had stopped trying to drill holes through him with her eyes, and was now intently looking at her cup. She did not look up from it, and took her time to reply, her voice very small.

"No."

Rainwater dripped from her bangs onto the table. The towel laid untouched next to her hands.

Roy took another sip from his tea, and got up. He circled around the table, and took the towel.

"May I?"

Hawkeye had a sharp nod. Almost invisible. But, after all, they had known each other long enough.

Standing behind her, he freed her hair from the clip she always wore - not without fumbling a little with it, with his still healing hands, and the clip metal being soaking wet. Honey hair, darkened by water, cascaded on her shoulders. Ever so gently, he gathered it in one hand, applying the towel to it with the other.

He did notice her shoulder tense, then relax, slowly.

Once her hair stopped dripping, he put the towel aside, and tried to untangle the silky strands with his hands. That wouldn't do.

"Coming back."

Another sharp nod, before he saw Hawkeye finally drink her tea from the corner of his eye as he turned to the bathroom again.

His own terribly straight and thick hair was pretty easily untangled by hand most of the time, but he did keep a brush somewhere for the days where he had to look at least a little better dressed.

Hawkeye had not moved when he came back, but her cup was empty. He refilled it without a word, then went to work on her hair.

The silky strands under his fingers reminded him of the last time he'd done this - the first, also. That wasn't long ago.

In the hospital, after a couple of days, Hawkeye had grown frustrated. Her hair was tangled, still matted in places, and with the cut in her neck, and her overall weakness, she couldn't brush them properly, nor tie them so they wouldn't annoy her and brush against the bandage on her nape.

She had not said anything, but Roy could feel it.

He didn't need to see her, then, to know something was annoying her, tensing her more than she was already, and after a little asking and prying, that almost turned into harassment, he'd managed to extract the information from her.

That was so simple. And not as if he didn't know how to care for long hair - his sisters had

made sure he helped them get ready quite often when he was a kid.

Of course, his hands were not as deft as they used to be, and at this moment he couldn't see, but you didn't need to, just to brush hair. He'd offered to help, and it took a little convincing, but Hawkeye had finally accepted and let him take the brush from her hand. And he could tell from her stance, the little humming sounds she made - probably consciously, for his benefit - that she enjoyed it, in the end.

He realized as he passed his fingers through her wet hair that he had closed his eyes, reliving the feeling he'd had back then, the touch of her hair, the warmth of her body being so close. It was a moment he would remember as pure happiness. A moment of bliss amidst bleak times, that would for ever shine in his memory, even if it had only been experienced through touch and sound and smell. Maybe because it had been so.

A smile pulled at his lips as he opened his eyes again, now able to enjoy the warm colour of Hawkeye's hair as well as it's softness.

As he reached for a couple of stray bangs, his fingers brushed against the side of her neck, and the scars that were now crossing it. Hawkeye immediately brought her shoulders up, tilting her head backwards, protecting the tender, still very pink skin there. Roy stilled.

"Sorry. Does it hurt, still?"

Riza answered with another question, but let her shoulders slump down.

"Do yours?"

Roy repressed a small chuckle. That wasn't funny.

"Of course they do. I can barely hold that damn hair brush, after filling paperwork all day. And I did most on the typewriter."

"Don't tell me you've found a new way to try and escape paperwork, sir."

"I don't think you'd let me, anyway."

Roy was done with her hair. It was drying, gaining more shine and becoming lighter in colour and under his fingers as it did so. But he didn't want to leave. He didn't want to let go of Hawkeye's hair, of the proximity it gave them, of just being able to touch her.

So he kept brushing, even if, yeah, his hands hurt. But he saw her close her eyes under his touch as he tilted his head to the side. It was definitely worth it.

"You don't like me using your new rank."

Roy blinked. The question had come out of nowhere, in a voice that was a little more assured than it'd been when Hawkeye had entered his flat. He sighed.

"I'm not going to lie to you."

"Because of Hughes."

"Yes."

Roy, still standing behind Hawkeye, his hands still now mostly playing with her hair rather than brushing it, expected the conversation to die there.

"I think he'd be proud of you."

Roy let go of her hair, to place his hands on her shoulders. Hawkeye and Hughes never really had what would have been called a relationship - and would have absolutely never interacted if not for Roy himself being friends with both. Hughes considered Roy's fondness for Hawkeye as an impediment on his way to find his perfect wife, and Hawkeye disapproved of Hughes's loudness, his constant boasting and his berating of Roy on the same subject - there was no jealousy there, only professionalism on her part.

Or, rather, mostly professionalism.

So to hear her talk about Hughes, and with such a tone of voice, was uncommon. But it made that warm twist in his gut rise again.

"I think you're right."

Silence, again. A comfortable silence, at least on Roy's part, that Hawkeye pulverized into millions of sharp pieces.

"You died."

Roy froze, the warmth disappearing.

"In my nightmare. You died in my arms, and - and I couldn't tell if the one who'd shot you was an enemy or myself. You kept telling me it wasn't my fault, while blood poured out of your mouth and you were clutching at my shoulders. But I think it was. I think it was me who shot you. And then you died. It took a long time. It… I…"

Hawkeye's hands were slightly shaking around the newly empty tea cup, and Roy could feel the tremors in her shoulders. First, he pushed on them, trying to put some weight on her, to ground her, show her he was there, then he changed his mind.

He couldn’t tell her that he knew exactly how she felt, for he’d experienced it not too long before, for real, and that every other night, he went through more or less the same dream. Her dying in his arms, with no way to prevent it from happening. Alone underground. Her blood smeared on her clothes, her face, his hands. The very real image of her blood dying her hair red, engraved in his mind, for weeks, while he was blind to everything else.

Roy tried to repress the shiver that crept up his spine and closed its icy hands around his throat. Now was not the time to tell her that. She needed him to be stronger than her, right now. Nor would he tell her that he had, in fact, gone so far as to pick up the phone a week prior, only to place it back down before calling her number.

He took her hand and gently pulled her up, seeing with a pang of sadness that she still behaved like a stringless puppet, following his push without showing neither want nor dislike.

"Look at me, Riza."

The surprise at him using her first name seemed to pull her out of her torpor, and she looked him in the eye.

"Good. Look. I'm here. All in one piece. You didn't shoot me." Unsure of where to place his hands, he put them on her waist - a light touch, as if they were at a formal dance. He wouldn’t dare anything more intrusive than that. "You never did. You came close ... But you didn't have to. You pushed me back on the right track. You always do. And I always follow."

He could get lost in her dark amber eyes for hours if he had nothing else to care about. But he had to care for her, right now. And he couldn't bear the fact that these eyes were rimmed red. Slowly, he brought his arms around her shoulders, pulling her close. He let out a sigh as her own arms circled his waist and he nudged his head in the crook of her neck - careful to choose the right side. She rested her forehead on his shoulder, and spoke low.

"I'm supposed to be the one who follows. Not the other way around."

"You perfectly know I keep turning back to ask you directions."

"I thought it was to check if I was still there."

"No. I trust you too much to ever doubt that."

They stood still, huddled together, for a while. Then Roy stepped back.

“Are you feeling better?”

Riza sniffed against his chest.

“Yes.”

“Let me see.”

He brought his hands to the sides of her face, tilting her head so their eyes would meet again. Her features were less tense, but not fully relaxed yet.

“I think there’s still some way to go.”

Stroking her cheeks with his thumbs, he kissed her forehead lightly, taking in the smell of her hair, and the softness of her skin. When he pulled back, she had closed her eyes, and some of the remaining tension had left her face.

Smiling, he placed his hands back on her waist, where they were before.

“Why don’t we sit?”

Hawkeye frowned again, ruining his efforts. But it was only for a couple of seconds.

“We should sleep. I should go home. I just needed to check on you, to be sure. We both need to sleep.”

“We’ll sleep when we’re dead.” Roy tried a mock frown, and rested his forehead against hers, black locks of hair mixing with honey bangs. “Or when we fall asleep on the couch. Either way, I’m not letting you go.”

“Is that an order?”

That warm twist again. Hawkeye’s dry smile was back.

“I could make it so.”

“Let’s sit, then.”

[leedee013]

Okay so I just finished FMA 03 for the first time! Then I went back and rewatched CoS because now it’d make sense, lmao

Overall, it was enjoyable! I’ve got a really long rant post in my drafts that I’ll publish eventually, once I get my thoughts organized.

I have a lot of problems with FMA 2003, mostly because I prefer the books (y’all, stop the 03 vs BH fighting and fucking read the goddamn books), but also because of some concerning images it paints of people cross dressing, its unnecessary sexualization of a lot more female characters, and the super weird and inconsistent way that alchemy’s handled in the show. HOWEVER, I genuinely LOVE the opening three episodes. They’re how I introduce people to FMA, and it never fails to snag people in. I also appreciate that 03 depicts the train heist and Youswell Mine chapters. And the fact that some of the filler episodes are just FUN. They don’t have much function, but goddamn did the good ones make me laugh.

(For clarity, I’m referring to the Flame vs Fullmetal episode wherein Ed fights Roy over cat custody and information and Hughes gets squashed by his own enormous poster of Elicia, and the Flame Alchemist episode that’s just Roy’s team dinking around and getting developed, or the one where Al is taken off the train accidentally and some kid steals him and Al convinced him that his armor will possess the kid... yeah, those are supreme)

Plus, Ed’s design... he looks so much more like he does in the manga in 03, and he’s a lot more vibrant! I prefer the 03 style design of Ed primarily, which is kind of important given that he’s one of the focal characters. I also appreciate the attention to detail for everything and how fluid all of the action scenes are, or even the small expressive details.

And as much as I love (LOVE) Brotherhood, I never introduce people to FMA with it. 03 initiation all the way, baabyy. The openings are also SO. GOOD. Melissa? Ready Steady Go? Rewrite? Bops.

I’m also so happy that we get more of Hughes in 03. And of Lust. Lust’s character in 2003 deserves her own movie I stg.

I feel like 2003 has so much wasted potential that it makes me legitimately mad, but I love its chaos and feral energy with my whole heart. The ending was absolutely bonkers, and CoS is so nonsensical, but I will never complain about being given this absolutely beautiful image:

More to come, but long story short: YES FMA 03 is worth watching, especially if you love the universe. If you’ve only ever seen Brotherhood, remember to keep an open mind throughout it. It sticks to the manga in a lot of ways that BH doesn’t, especially in the beginning. There are a few episodes I’d recommend skipping over, but overall it’s a great series in its own right and deserves some love, too.

[by-nina]

A Cordial Invitation

AO3 | FFN Royai Week 2021 | Day 4 – Communiqué Rating: K+ (light drinking) Genre: Comedy/Fluff Word Count: 2,840

A/N: This fic takes place when Roy and Hughes are both still stationed in East City, before Hughes is transferred to Central—or in an AU where that happens, if that wasn't the case in canon. Brain empty, no thoughts but Royai. Screw canon. What's important is that Hughes is here. 😂

There is the briefest pause as Hughes leaps back, startled by the outburst, then he laughs again upon seeing the look on Roy's face. Roy can only shake his head in horror—what the hell does the man find so funny? Well, he might have laughed at this little comedy of errors himself if the situation weren't so ridiculously flustering for him. Instead, he is left to imagine it in sheer panic. R. Mustang. Riza Mustang.

His face is burning red.

———

MAES HUGHES, son of Thomas and Evangeline Hughes,

and

GRACIA EVANS, daughter of Rupert and Georgina Evans,

are delighted to announce their blessed and loving union come Saturday, the 25th of June 1910. The ceremony shall take place at Charlotte Hill, attended by their immediate family and beloved friends. Comprising their entourage are Mr. A. Armstrong, Mr. and Mrs. H. Elliott, Miss S. Garber, Mr. and Mrs. C. Marshall, and Mr. and Mrs. R. Mustang.

———

Five different people have congratulated Roy—two of them expressing mild surprise at his previously unknown marriage—by the time he comes across the root of his very confusing Friday morning. He reads the announcement in the paper thrice, flipping the page back and forth as if doing so might correct the error. When it doesn't, he picks up the receiver of his office phone, then replaces it and instead decides to see the man himself.

He passes by Breda and Havoc on the way out, but he isn't quite sure if they’re watching him because they know what's going on, or if they're just as puzzled as he is.

Two floors down, Roy raps away at the door of the Intelligence Division office. "Hughes," he calls out. "Hughes, I need to talk to you about—"

He cuts himself off, rubbing his temple as he realizes the pointlessness of his visit. It's at this moment too that Maes Hughes opens the door with that old, damning grin, the one Roy has known from Hughes' courtship with Gracia and all through their engagement. It's the grin that precedes the talk, as Hughes has annoyingly come to call it. Roy is ready with any of several retorts, such as—

"I don't have time for this, Hughes," or;

"Go bother someone else," or;

"Stop telling me to get married, I'm not looking for a girlfriend, leave me alone—"

But to Roy’s surprise, he doesn't find reason to say any of these today.

"What brings you here, old pal?" Hughes chirps in a tone that hardly suggests he has Roy's romantic prospects on his mind at the moment. Of course he doesn't—his wedding is just around the corner, and it's not like he's marrying Roy.

Roy opens his mouth, closes it, and sighs as he enters the office. He heads straight to Hughes' desk, where he drops his copy of the East City Times, folded open to show the incriminating page.

"Oh, you've seen the announcement!" Hughes is beaming. "I would've taken out an ad every single day after the proposal, but here we are! Can you believe I'm getting married tomorrow?"

"Thanks to your constant reminders over the past three months, yes, Hughes, I can," Roy says dryly. "But how come your announcement is printed like that?"

It's only then that Hughes realizes that an error, not excitement, brought his best man to his office. Roy manages to remain patient as Hughes leans over the paper, a finger trailing the announcement word for word until he reaches the end. Hughes then grabs the paper right up to his eyes and blinks incredulously, and his expression quickly changes. It’s somewhere between incredulity, hilarity, and exasperation—as much as a cheery man like Hughes is capable of, anyway. Hughes breaks into laughter and shakes his head.

"It's not funny, Hughes,” Roy snaps, but not quite. He isn’t so upset as to be eager to start an argument. “I've spent the entire morning wondering what the hell people were congratulating me for!"

"Oh my goodness, Roy, I am so sorry that this happened. I truly am." Hughes rubs at the side of his head, tutting in good-natured disbelief. "I can’t believe it, and on the day before my wedding, too! Ah, but I think I know what happened."

"Mm-hmm?"

"I went to the newspaper office yesterday over lunch, right? It was a last-minute thing because my beautiful bride-to-be doesn't really want too much of a fuss over our wedding. So, at their office, I fill out a form—"

"Mm-hmm."

"—and these announcements are usually short, so there wasn't much space on the form. I write down the date, the location, and then I start to run out of space towards the end as I'm listing the guests."

 "Mm-hmmm."

"So, the names are squeezed into the little space I've got left, there's the Marshalls, the Elliotts... and I suppose they assumed that you were a couple with Lieutenant Hawkeye."

"WHAT?"

There is the briefest pause as Hughes leaps back, startled by the outburst, then he laughs again upon seeing the look on Roy's face. Roy can only shake his head in horror—what the hell does the man find so funny? Well, he might have laughed at this little comedy of errors himself if the situation weren't so ridiculously flustering for him. Instead, he is left to imagine it in sheer panic. R. Mustang. Riza Mustang.

His face is burning red.

"No, no, no," Roy sputters, "this—this is serious, Hughes! Hawkeye is my adjutant, and if anyone from the top brass hears this and thinks—"

"Okay, slow down, Roy. Deep breath," Hughes says, gripping Roy's shoulders. "Let's be real. They're not actually gonna think that you would just carelessly break military laws. Ambitious youngster rising up the ranks after becoming the Hero of Ishval, who would suspect you? You know what else, they also think you're some kind of heartbreaker going on dates all over East City, up to Central—and her name isn't actually on the paper next to yours, is it?"

"But what—but—so why was it written like that anyway?"

"You’re right. Lieutenant Hawkeye is an important guest. I owe her an apology.” Hughes pauses in thought. “But while we’re on the topic, maybe you two should go together, considering how much she’s actually helped with your best man duties. You know what I mean? It shouldn’t be a big deal. Take her along as a companion, save yourselves the trouble of finding dates—don't play cool, I know you haven't invited anyone—it'll be more convenient for the two of you!"

Roy runs a hand over his face, now nearly out of things to argue about short of something more personal, something more selfish, more... honest. "I don't know what you're talking about, Hughes," he sighs sharply, interrupting his own thoughts. "All right, the announcement—it’s not your fault, we can let that go. And I’ll extend your apology to Lieutenant Hawkeye—”

“And take her as your date?”

“No, because she’s already invited anyway, so there's no reason for me to do that—and if I do, then I'd have to explain to people that I'm not actually married, and she—"

"Come on, it'll be no trouble. No one’s gonna think much of it!”

"I’m thinking much of it! It’s just not a good look.” Roy begins his way back to his own office, stopping at the door just to finish saying, “And I’m not dragging Lieutenant Hawkeye into your crazy ideas!”

———

“Lieutenant Hawkeye, would you like to go to Hughes’ wedding together?”

There is a brief pause when, all at once, Roy bristles with panic for the impulsive utterance, and mild surprise breaks through Lieutenant Hawkeye’s typically impassive face, and Lieutenant Hawkeye regains her composure as Roy watches and wonders what she actually thinks of the invitation, hoping that it’s welcome.

“I don’t think I could, Sir,” she says, deadpan, “Mrs. Mustang would be devastated.”

“What the—Hawkeye, you know I don’t have a wife—”

“Damn it!”

Breda bursts into laughter behind them, drowning out Havoc’s frustrated groan as the latter reaches into the pocket of his trousers, then drops a few coins onto the table where they have been working. Roy scowls at them, partly perplexed and partly exasperated by having to deal with the ridicule twice over. When Breda recovers somewhat, he explains, “We had a bet. Havoc was so sure you really were secretly married.”

“I was counting on it, okay?” Havoc grumbles. “I haven’t had a proper girlfriend since I started working with Mustang, no one will even look twice at me—”

“There you go,” the Lieutenant says as Havoc and Breda banter on. She continues sorting the reports on Roy’s desk into dated envelopes, having been momentarily distracted by his surprise invitation. “Any of Havoc’s girlfriends would be happy to be your date to the wedding.”

“Well, I just thought—I mean, Hughes suggested that maybe it would be more convenient for you and me—for the two of us to attend together.” Roy clears his throat when he realizes that his voice is quivering slightly. What is he so nervous about? He affects a smile to regain a casual confidence. “As colleagues, of course. Friendly companions in the entourage. That’s how all of this happened, there was a mistake with our names when they printed Hughes’ wedding announcement.”

The Lieutenant remains quiet, focused on her work. A moment later, Roy asks over the sudden, quiet thumping in his chest, “Are you… already bringing someone with you?

“No,” she promptly replies, eyes remaining on the reports before her. “I was just wondering what brought this on. You don’t owe me a favor for helping out with your preparations.”

The nervous thumping subsides, only to be quickly replaced by dull dismay. Never mind the idea of being each other’s date to a special occasion, or the imaginary scenario of being a couple. He and Riza—he and the Lieutenant have been working together for over a year now. He would like to think that in that time, they would have broken down enough walls between them for her not to think that everything they do or say to each other can only be strictly pragmatic. Roy certainly sees her in a warm, friendly light, not unlike the way he did as a boy. Surely she could at least not hold him at arm’s length after a year.

Roy finds it easy to be honest when he says, “It’s not that at all. And it’s not just because of what Hughes said.” A careful pause. “I think I genuinely would enjoy your company.”

He watches Riza carefully. No expectations, he reminds himself—and then he childishly proceeds to imagine all the ways that she could react to the whole situation. Roy lingers a little too long on the scenario where she might have imagined him with some mysterious Mrs. Mustang, then felt the relief of disproven jealousy when he explained what actually happened. No—it’s far too complicated an expectation for the time being.

She looks up at last.

“All right then, Sir.”

———

The Hugheses’ wedding is the happiest, most beautiful thing that Roy remembers witnessing in a long time. The ceremony proper and the reception beginning at sunset both take place in a pavilion overlooking a lake, awash in shades of gold from the table draperies to the twinkling lights and the flowers swaying in the breeze. There isn’t anyone in his opinion who deserves a day like this more than his best friend, which is why when Roy prepares to give his best man's toast that evening, he finds himself easily turning sentimental. He drains his glass of wine, then pours himself another just before beginning his speech.

Towards the end of the toast, he says, “Gracia, I have no words for how grateful I am that Maes met you, and that you’ve loved him through some of the most difficult times of his life. You showed him that it’s possible to be truly happy even when it might appear to be difficult or impossible.”

He draws a quick, sharp breath as emotion wells up in him. Laughing to conceal it, he quickly adds, “I’m sure he tells you that enough, of course, but I’m saying this now because you’ve also made the rest of us believe it. We all see it in him. And the two of you give us hope that it can happen for anyone, with anyone who can break down our walls.” Roy raises his glass towards the newlywed couple. “Maes, Gracia, may you be a home for each other for the rest of your lives.”

The modest crowd erupts in applause, accompanied by the clinking of glasses all around the pavilion and sweet, light music for the Hugheses’ first dance. Between the spirits he consumed during his speech and the infectious joy that fills the venue, Roy soon starts to feel lightheaded. He steers clear of the dance floor as the guests pair off and weave around one another, and it’s easy to spot Riza in the crowd from where he stands.

Riza sits at the far side of a table occupied by some of Gracia’s friends, chatting away good-naturedly with a drink in hand. She’s laughing, and what a sight she is on this night away from work, so relaxed and carefree, wearing a honey brown dress that brings out the color of her eyes. She should be dancing, Roy thinks; she should be enjoying this night, not just sitting back to watch it go by as if she had come here alone.

Well, some date he is.

It’s even more outrageous now, the idea of being Riza’s date to this wedding. Not that he knew what he was thinking even when he asked her to go together, but he never actually planned as far ahead as dancing or dining or anything they can do together now that he has completed his duties as the best man. Above all, this isn’t how he had pictured Riza to look tonight, so warm and friendly and beautiful—no, different from the one he invited to be his date yesterday. This is closer to a Riza he hasn’t seen in a long time, not since he left for Ishval, anyway. How does he even strike up a conversation with an old friend from a lifetime ago? What is he supposed to do?

Roy knows one thing—he will mind seeing her dance with someone else right now.

Gracia’s friends rise from the table after a while, leaving Riza by herself. By this time, Roy has helped himself to one, now another glass of brandy, and he isn’t sure whether he’s still on his feet despite the drink or drunk enough to be bold. He takes the long way around the venue to Riza. She turns her head when she hears him approaching.

“That was a very beautiful speech, Sir,” says Riza as Roy sits at the table, leaving one empty seat between them. “It’s a shame Mrs. Mustang isn’t around to hear it.”

Roy laughs, only now realizing that no one has brought up that gaffe since yesterday. “Well, shame it isn’t my wedding. But thank you. I’m glad you think so.” He breathes a deep, thoughtful sigh. “If I’m being honest, this is perhaps the happiest I remember being in a long time.”

Riza nods slowly. “I see.”

Without directly looking at her, Roy can tell that Riza is watching him, deep in thought. She takes a sip of her wine. After a long silence, she admits, “I haven’t been to a wedding in a while, myself. I’d forgotten it was possible for people to be this… happy. It hasn’t been easy to find things that make everything we’re doing worthwhile.”

The look on her face now is different from her usual quiet expression. There she is again, Roy thinks—perhaps she suddenly looks so much like her younger self because her thoughts have wandered to a much simpler time, before all the pain they went through together. Or could she perhaps have carried those thoughts in the back of her mind all along, never allowing herself to pay attention to them, but hoping she might find a place for them in the complicated circumstances they have found themselves in?

And in this moment, Roy realizes that more than remembering the Riza from his past, what he wants is to care for the Riza he knows in the present. To be a companion to her, and for her to return the favor; goodness knows how much they have needed each other all this time, and how much more they will need each other moving forward. Above all, she is someone he knows well enough to want to know better.

So, after a while, he quietly asks, “What are you thinking now?”

Riza smiles. “That what you said in your speech is true.”

Roy raises his glass, and she clinks hers against it. This is the first time in a long time that he has seen her smile like this, that Riza has smiled at him. It feels now as if he has been newly welcomed into her life, that at last—once again—she could trust him as much as he does her.

He rises to his feet.

“I’d hate for you to have just come to watch a speech, Hawkeye. Would you like to dance?”

[envythepalmtree]

My thoughts on 03 and CoS

When I started watching 03, I came in with really high expectations. And I loved it!! Especially the first half - I loved the melancholy tone, the way they fleshed out the FMA world. That being said I have Opinions™️ which also includes some criticisms, as usual. Hearing things about 03 out of context definitely colored my expectations and perception of it. This is partly about the writing of 03, but partly about my own experience watching it.

I’ve been meaning to write and post this for about a month, but only got around to it just now, lol. Spoilers ahead if you haven’t seen it.

What I liked

- The way it took the stuff from the manga and made a completely different story was AMAZING. Far after the storyline diverged, seeing influences from the mangahood storyline and how they were taken in a completely different direction was super cool.

- The tone!! 03 felt much more personal, much more melancholic. We really get to see how traumatic events like the fight with Barry the Chopper effect Edward, and we see that he’s really just a child. A child in the military. I know “03 shows Ed as a child soldier” has been talked about a lot and that aspect of 03 really lived up to what I heard about.

- I loved the fillers!! The adaptations of the bonus comics were delightful to watch and really fleshed out the Mustang squad in a way that Brotherhood didn’t. Roy quoting the Art of War during the Fullmetal vs Flame episode was super cool, ties well with my Xingese Roy headcanons, and I’ll probably write a whole meta on that later.

- Even though I have some beef with the ending, which I’ll get to in a bit, it felt really special to me, personally, to see the characters hopeful and happy even after going through so much loss. I really like the message that sometimes, we do fail. Sometimes, what we’re chasing after is never meant to be ours. But we can learn to get up, and keep going. We can let go of that lost heaven.

What I didn’t

- I heard the line “My sympathy will not be spent on soldiers” out of context. I guess I expected it to be some badass line from Scar about why his anger towards the Amestrian state is valid and not something he needs to apologize for.

- Instead, that line was delivered by Scar right before committing an atrocity - sacrificing a huge number of soldiers for a philosopher’s stone, and placing a huge burden on a 14 year old boy by making Al’s body that stone without his permission. And Scar, after all he’s been through, didn’t get a happy ending. It wasn’t some badass thing, it was painted as tragic. I was really disappointed about where that line ended up and I’ll probably write a whole separate post about the lost potential of that line.

- Ed’s admitting that he has racial bias didn’t live up to my expectations. One of my biggest criticisms of mangahood has been the narrative’s stance towards race: “I think we should ignore race and treat each other as equals!” A common response I got was, “03 doesn’t do that! They actually have Ed admit that he has racial bias!”

- When that scene actually happened, I was thinking, “is that it? Is there more?” And yes, much of that disappointment likely came from me setting way-too-high expectations for the race themes of a shonen anime from 2003. It was such a short moment and didn’t feel as climactic or important as it should have been.

- Roy Mustang. Roy Mustang. The narrative expects us to sympathize with him, to like him, but I found it very hard. In mangahood, Roy’s goal to become Fuhrer and change the country for the better, to help the Ishvalans and make sure that a genocide like that never happens again, is a huge part of the show. In 03, it’s hinted at. Roy talks about becoming Fuhrer in the miniskirt episode, and it’s hinted that he has good intentions and wants to help the Ishvalans. But it’s not considered important.

- And then he completely throws that away.

- Reading things from 03 out of context, I somehow got the impression that Roy was going to quit the military after realizing that he doesn’t want to work within the system anymore. And I was thinking “omg that’s so cool! 03 actually has Roy renounce his ambitions and leave the military, because it’s the best way to help the Ishvalans!”

- Nope. That coup he stages? It’s not out of anger at how the Amestrian state treats its people. It’s not to avenge Ishval. It’s to avenge Maes Hughes, Roy’s friend.

- Having Roy stay in the military, but give up his rank, almost feels like a halfway point between two good ideas: Climbing the ranks to change the country, or leaving because he doesn't want to uphold a corrupt system. Maybe they could've made it work, but I wish they grappled with the implications of that more.

- adklsfaksldfhjks I’m very angry about this and this probably also needs its own post.

- Things in the second half of the show just didn’t feel as fleshed out. In Mangahood we got some time to grapple with the fact that Amestris was created by Father to be sacrificed, to grapple with the implications of that. In 03, that revelation came so close to the end that we just didn’t have time. I was left with so many QUESTIONS about the worldbuilding and parts of the plot, especially after CoS, and they didn’t get answered. I feel like a lot of my problems with 03 would be solved if they added a few episodes. It’d give them time to slow down to add more details, or even just give us an episode or three of Backstory.

all my QUESTIONS:

- Details on Dante and Hohenheim controlling humanity behind the scenes?? They just. tell us that they destroyed entire civilizations like Xerxes.

- Where do Gluttony, Greed, etc come from? If they were created simply to serve Dante, does that mean they were all created after Hohenheim left her?

- Why was Greed imprisoned? Why does he refer to the other homunculi as his sworn enemies?

- Lust is described as the “third Lust.” Who were the other Lusts? Is each sin a position in Dante’s squad, a role that can be filled after the one holding it dies?

- Envy is 300 years old. What the hell were they doing for all that time? Much of their character is based off of resentment of Hohenheim for leaving them and Dante, but that happened extremely recently.

- Hohenheim mentions that alchemy is fueled by people’s deaths in the parallel world?? And it’s NEVER mentioned again??

- How does the portal work? Ed landed in 1910s London, then 1920s Germany. But the times match up in CoS, with the 2 year gap and everything.

- I didn’t understand where the opening flashback about the uranium bomb comes from. It’s implied that it happened in the time gap between Ed joining the military and the Liore arc, but iirc the guy with the bomb came from the other world. How did he get there? How come Ed and Al spend a couple years knowing that a parallel world exists but it’s never brought up?

- How did Ed meet Alfons and get involved in the rocket stuff?

- From one of the guys in the Thule society: “but Hohenheim’s sons are from Shamballa.” HOW DOES HE KNOW THAT?

aklsfhsdj that was long. Stay tuned for some more metas about 03, because your girl has Opinions.

[fluffykitty1999-blog]

Dog of the Military- Chapter 15

Chapter 15- Morning Courtmartial

And as usual... the ko-fi link, if you like the trash I, a human dumpster fire, product https://ko-fi.com/fluffykitty12

Roy Mustang showed up outside the dorms at 8:30am sharp. It was 8:37 when Edward came racing down the stairs, in his military blues with a large suit of armor clanking hurriedly behind him.

Ed fairly dove into the passenger seat, with Alphonse squeezing into the entirety of the backseat, and Ed turned to look at Mustang like he was possessed. "Drive!"

"Put your seat belt on." Roy said, giving him a look.

Ed frantically did so, and Roy was heading over to central command.

"Shit are we gonna be late? I couldn't find a hair tie that wasn't red I didn't know what the military regulations were so I transmuted it black." Ed's hair wasn't in its trademark braid- rather, it was in a high ponytail behind him. His uniform was a little rumpled, and his collar was a mess, but these were all things that could be fixed.

"Calm down. We're not going to be late, but we won't be able to stop and grab breakfast like I planned either, so you'll have to hold out til lunch." Roy remarked.

Ed nodded, seeming to calm down slightly at this.

"Are you doing okay?" Roy shot his youngest subordinate a look.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Ed said, nodding. Though there wasn't too much belief behind the statement.

"I'm going to be so nervous, waiting upstairs in the office to hear what's going on." Al piped up from the back.

"Try not to worry too much, Alphonse- the team will be watching the proceedings, and they'll come upstairs periodically under the guise of a break to update you."

"Alright." Alphonse seemed to settle for the moment. Edward's leg kept bouncing nervously, and they pulled up outside central command at ten minutes to nine. They parted ways, with Alphonse heading upstairs and Roy and Ed heading towards the courtroom, deeper on the first floor of Central command.

The hallways were busy with people in all sorts of military blues- Ed's eyes widened as he saw everyone assembled. Roy placed a hand on the boy's shoulder, steering him into the men's room just outside the courtroom.

"Do you have to go?" he asked, giving the boy a once-over.

Ed shook his head. "No. Why are we in here, anyways?"

"Because you were getting overwhelmed and I need to touch up your uniform." Roy said calmly. He started with the boy's long military jacket, smoothing out the wrinkles and straightening the boy's rank pins. He moved up to Ed's collar next, folding it down properly, before looking at Ed's hair- he wet his hands in the sink and smoothed down Ed's trademark blond antenna, before nodding and standing up straight. "Much better. You look like quite the solider, Fullmetal."

"Yeah. Now if only I could feel like one. Brigadier General Basque Grand was out there." Ed muttered to himself, looking down at his boots.

"A lot of high profile people are here, Ed. This trial has ruffled some feathers, I'm not gonna lie. But how you carry yourself in there- how you think and behave- will affect how you're treated."

"They'll just look at me like a kid anyways."

"Stop it." Mustang hissed, using two fingers to tilt Edward's chin up so the boy was looking him in the eyes. "I know you're nervous, and you have a right to be, but self pity and doubt have no place here, Edward."

Roy reached down into Edward's pocked, putting out the boy's state alchemist watch and dangling it in front of him. "You are the Fullmetal Alchemist. I watched you put blood sweat and tears into earning this watch. You are a prodigy- you have seen atrocities and come back eager to live on anyways. You are a soldier under my command. I didn't give you this watch. You earned it. You could kick the asses of nearly everyone in that court room, save myself and a few others, without a problem. So you act like it- you look them in the eyes and you tell them everything. I need you to trust me, Edward- if you testify to the best of your abilities, he'll be found guilty. I promise."

Ed looked up at him- eyes that were swimming with uncertainty becoming hard with determination and purpose. The fire was burning bright again, and Ed pursed his lips and nodded. "Alright."

"Don't forget- you're the Fullmetal Alchemist, Hero of the People. Make them remember that."

"I will."

They both turned, exiting the restroom and striding into the courtroom, down the aisles and to their side of the benches. Their court appointed lawyer, Marissa Jennings, was a pretty woman in military blues with dark hair and brown eyes- she nodded to Mustang as they found their seats behind their table. Ed hadn't met the woman, but Roy had had countless meeting with her over the past two weeks to prepare, and he was very familiar with her.

On the other side of the courtroom, behind the small table sat Colonel Banks and Lieutenant Shaw, and the defendant's lawyer, an older, be speckled man in his sixties eith salt and pepper hair and a gray goatee.

Before both tables was the Judge's desk on an elevated platform, and to the left was the bleachers for the jury- a group of about twelve. Behind the tables where the prosecuting and defending parties sat, there was a small wooden railing and benches for spectators to watch.

Roy noted Basque Grand sitting behind Colonel Bank's side of the courtroom, as well as a smattering of unfamiliar soldiers. Banks had clearly brought his men as well.

But it was no match for Ed's side of the courtroom. Havoc, Breda, Falman, Furey, Hawkeye, Scheska, Hughes, Armstrong, and several of the receptionists that Ed would help by fixing broken vases and flower pots all sat at the ready. The proceedings were about to being.

The door to the courtroom flew open, and Roy nearly fell out of his chair. Scowling in the doorway, General Olivier Armstrong strode into the room,her sidearm and sword at her side, with Miles beside her, his sunglasses present as always.

She stalked into the room, and it nearly fell silent, before flopping to sit beside her brother, who sat in support of Edward, exhaling harshly through her nose.

"Olivier- so glad you could make it! You hardly ever respond to my letters." Armstrong had started to sparkle.

Olivier scoffed. "Don't flatter yourself. I came here because I was pissed, not because of that sappy letter. This whole torture fiasco happened at Goldenfield- the North is my territory, and when bullshit happens I like to see who's held accountable." She brushed her bangs from her face. Though Roy didn't miss the way she craned her neck to get a look at Edward.

Who knew- perhaps General Armstrong actually cared?

"All rise- the honorable judge Mason Freeman presiding." the baliff barked. The sound of chairs scraping as everyone in the room hurried to stand was the only sound.

The judge- a rather wise looking man in his sixties- strode to his desk with ease, before he was sitting down. "Good morning. At ease, everyone. Let it be noted on the record today the case of Flame vs Banks has begun."

Everyone sat down, and the judge nodded toward Ed's bench.

"We will begin with the charges brought against the accused. Colonel Roger Banks, you have been accused of the unlawful imprisonment and torture of a state alchemist, Major Edward Elric. How does the accused plead?"

"Not guilty, Sir."

The judge nodded. "Very well. We will hear your arguments shortly. For now, let us proceed with the incident reports received, beginning with the mission report from the Fullmetal Alchemist himself. Jennings?"

The woman representing Ed stood up, shuffling papers. "Of course, your honor. On the fifth of September, Major Edward Elric received orders to head north and conduct a covert mission for the Amestrian military. He returned on the morning of September ninth, as planned, but rather than being allowed to return to Central city and report to his commanding officer, the boy was detained, restrained, beaten, and abused. The medical records show Edward received six cigarette burns to the lower left abdomen, a broken rib, a 3 inch laceration on his left bicep requiring 17 stitches, 3 lacerations on his back, from a knife, one of which required an additional twelve stitches to close, a black eye, and severe contusions to the chest. His mistreatment lasted for a day and a half, at which point his superior arrived, discovered the Major's condition, and got the boy medical help. I will now read, verbatim, the mission reports submitted to the court by Edward Elric and Roy Mustang, followed by the Doctor's report regarding Ed's injuries."

The first hour of the court session was the lawyer reading Ed's mission report, then Mustangs, and continuing on with the doctor's report. Ed was rather relieved that he could just sit and listen. It was clear the woman representing them was more comfortable in a courtroom than he was.

"This concludes my report of evidence from the prosecution, your honor." the woman finished.

The judge nodded. "And does the defendant have any evidence which they wish to present?"

The elder lawyer stood. "Yes, Sir. I am presenting the reports of Colonel Roger Banks and Lieutenant Shaw, verbatim."

"The secret mission Edward Elric was sent on was of immense importance for national security. Following our rendezvous, Edward expressed his interest in returning to Central city as soon as possible. I agreed this was the best course of action, but as the boy's superior, righteously demanded that he give his report and findings to me before leaving. Fullmetal adamantly refused, and when repeatedly prompted, answered with blatant disrespect. Had it been a matter of lesser importance, I would've written the boy up and let him go. But due to the immensely sensitive information the boy had, I felt I could not let him leave without reporting to me. It wasn't in the best interests of the nation."

"Following his staunch refusal and obstinence, I disciplined the boy physically, and continued to do so. I am not a man without conscience, but I had to put the good of the nation over the good of one unruly boy. I was nearly to the point of extracting the information when the boy's commanding officer- who identified himself as the Flame Alchemist- trespassed in my office and intimidated my Lieutenant into taking him to see the boy."

"When I attempted to confront the man for his intrusion into my office and blatant disregard for my command, I was brutally assaulted, receiving first degree burns on my hand, and my life threatened if I refused to leave. By the time I felt it prudent to return, the Flame Alchemist and the Fullmetal Alchemist were gone."

Roy frowned at the report.

The lawyer paused, clearing his throat. "Now- onto the incident report of Lieutenant Margaret Shaw, dated October twentieth-"

Roy's hand touched the table the defense lawyer had her paper's spread out, and he shifted in his seat to sit forward a little.

"Objection!" The lawyer was cut off by their lawyer, and everyone looked over at him, even the judge.

"What is the nature of this objection, Jennings?"

"Mr. Elric was reported to have been scheduled to return from his mission on the ninth of October. His commanding officer retrieved him on the afternoon of the tenth of october. The fact that this report was filed so late is likely due to the fact that Lieutenant Shaw wouldn't have filed a report about the imprisonment and abuse of power at all, had it not been for her commanding officer receiving a summons for court martial a few days earlier and covering her tracks."

"This is all speculation, your honor." the elderly defense lawyer protested, moving his glasses further up his nose.

"Jennings, you may continue, but keep it short." the judge advised, looking interested.

"I'd like to know the date Colonel Banks filed his incident report." Jennings asked.

The defense lawyer shuffled his papers. "October nineteenth was the date Colonel Banks filed his report."

"Interesting. So this alleged abuse of power occurs from the ninth to tenth of October, Colonel Banks is assaulted so viciously by the Flame alchemist in the line of duty, and yet despite all of this, he waits nine days to file a report. And his subordinate, who also witnessed such abuse, files her report one day after. Despite the fact that officers are required to file reports of incidents within forty eight hours. It almost seems as though the defendants were scrambling and after receiving their court summons, sat down and put their story together to avoid any gaps and inconsistencies, and then submitted them a day apart."

"My report is my own, Ma'am. While it is true that Colonel Banks and I discussed the matter after receiving our summons, my report was filed directly to central- Colonel Banks never read it." Lieutenant Shaw spoke up.

"I can attest to this, as I notarized the document." the lawyer agreed.

"I see. Still, the timing is awfully convenient. That's all I have to say on the matter, your honor."

The judge nodded. "The defense may continue."

Lieutenant Shaw's report was read verbatim, as well. It didn't contain the blatant falsehoods Colonel Banks had- rather, Shaw had chosen to stick to facts.

"At approximately 9am Edward Elric returned to our fort and expressed a desire to go home after completing his mission. He proceeded to another room with Colonel Banks and I didn't see him afterwards. At approximately 10am, I received a call from the boy's commanding officer, inquiring if Edward had returned as planned. I confirmed that Edward Elric had indeed returned and that he intended to get a train out of central soon."

"In the afternoon, at approximately 1pm, Colonel Banks was stepping out for lunch. I still had not seen Major Elric and inquired if he'd purchased his train ticket home yet, as he seemed eager to do in the morning. Colonel Banks said the boy was resting upstairs before he left, tired from his mission. I noticed the Colonel carrying Elric's black coat and inquired why- he told me he was going to get it cleaned for the boy so he could travel home in comfort."

"At the end of the day, I still had not seen Edward. I stepped into the Colonel's office to say goodnight to my commanding officer, and found him sititng at his desk. On his desk, was Elric's coat, cut into scraps. I asked the Colonel if Edward had left yet. Colonel Banks confirmed my suspicions that Edward was still in the building, but said it was a matter of national security that he get the information from the boy. I was in no position to argue with my superior, so I quietly left. On a hunch, I went downstairs to the cells where unruly citizens are kept and found Major Elric hung from the wall by his wrists, dirty and in some degree of pain. He looked up at me and asked if I was there to burn him as well. I asked him how I could help- he asked me for water. I brought him a mug of it and gave it to him quickly before leaving for the night. I trusted my commanding officer to handle the issue."

"Colonel Banks instructed me to have all questions about the Fullmetal Alchemist's condition forwarded to him. I followed these orders, forwarding the phone inquiry of the Flame Alchemist to Colonel Banks early in the morning. That afternoon, however, when the Flame Alchemist arrived, he was quite agitated, and I thought it prudent to show him to Elric immediately to avoid further conflict. Colonel Banks went to speak to the man and returned with a burned hand a destroyed firearm. After I treated my commanding officer for his injuries, I took the suitcase Elric had left in our fort in the room he'd stayed in previously and dropped it off at the local inn on the hunch they were staying there."

Colonel Banks looked over at Margaret, a bit of disapproval behind his eyes, but not much of it.

"Your honor." Jennings, dark haired and bold as always, spoke up. "I would like to ask Lieutenant Shaw a few more questions."

"In due time, Jennings." the judge frowned, squinting at the courtroom clock. "It's nearly noon. I declare a half hour recess, and then we will reconvene for cross-examination of the involved parties. Adjourned." the judge slammed his gavel down, and the courtroom broke into a flurry of activity as everyone rose to grab lunch.

Team Mustang normally would've gathered in the cafeteria, but since Alphonse was stuck upstairs in the office, they elected to grab food and eat with him. Plus, seeing Ed was likely to ease his mind.

Ed grabbed a ham sandwich as they hurried upstairs.

"Nice job Chief!" Havoc clapped a hand on his shoulder as he sat on Mustang's couch and started to eat. "I don't think I've ever seen you sit still for that long before!"

Ed had to fight the blush creeping up his cheeks.

"How was it, brother? Are you alright?" Al asked.

Ed took a bite of his sandwich. "I'm fine. I didn't have to do much of anything, it was mostly lawyers reading reports and making statements."

"Still, you seem to be making quite the case. The lawyer representing you- Jennings- is on her game." Hawkeye spoke up.

"Yes, she certainly is." Roy conceded. Probably because he'd spent over six hours with her going over the particulars of the case this past week. But still, she was tenacious and on the ball, and Roy liked her.

The door to the office burst open, and Hughes came running in. "Ed! You did great out there! Were you nervous?"

"A little." Ed took another bite of his sandwich and chewed.

"Right." the light reflected off Hughes glasses, showing his seriousness, as he stepped forward. "Well, this afternoon they're going to do the cross examinations. So you'll have to go up on the witness stand and answer questions about your report. Everyone will be watching. So you're going to need to have nerves of steel and think on your feet. They'll do anything they can to make you slip up."

"R-right." Ed was looking nervous.

"I figured you'd be stressed, so I brought some pictures of my darling Elicia to help calm your nerves!" Roy was right back to his fawning father self, pulling out a rather large stack of photos. "Here she is in her footie pajamas, and here she is with her new teddy bear..."

Hawkeye exchanged glances with Roy. They let Hughes ramble on for a few more minutes before Hawkeye was shooing him out of the office.

"You should finish that sandwich up- we have to head back down soon." Roy nodded to Ed, looking at the clock.

"I'm done." Ed said simply, setting down the half-eaten sandwich and standing. Ed hardly ate anything- that meant he was nervous.

Roy placed a hand on his shoulder as they ducked out of the office and headed back towards the courtroom. No matter what was to come in cross examinations- he'd do his best to protect Ed.

[meggannn]

Riza x Roy ofc!!!

What made you ship it?

i shipped royai coming out of the womb, next

no, i think the first thing that attracted me was the maturity of it, because when i first watched it i guess i was used to relationship-bait either having a firm “yes” or “no” by the ending, so royai was a nice disparity. there are a few couples that get together officially by the end of FMA, ed/winry and al/mei, but roy/riza were such a big ship that has so much subtext, support, and narrative emphasis, that it seemed odd to not canonize it... until i went over episode 30 again (the ishvallan war of extermination) and realized, oh, that’s the point of it. these are two adults who have decided to commit their lives to something more important than themselves. because they did awful things, and if they were to get together the way they clearly want to, it would jeopardize their careers, and therefore their goals, and therefore other people’s lives, and after what they’ve done, that’s unthinkable to them. if i want them to be the characters i think they are, their pining/“forbidden” love angle is a necessary part of the story to show how far they’re willing to go to try to restore ishval.

plus, also, sometimes a relationship just doesn’t happen in real life. sometimes you circle someone else for ages but neither of you makes the first move. sometimes they’re your best friend and they feel the same way but just nothing ever comes of it. of course, we can pretend what we want to happen post-canon because arakawa never set it in stone. but i did like that royai didn’t have a “happy ever after” for them because in one way, they couldn’t—they feel they don’t deserve it—so in a way the way they left off just feels more realistic and practical. roy mustang and riza hawkeye will keep going to work, day after day, and keep doing their best to right the wrongs they made (you cannot "fix" a genocide, but it doesn't mean they can't work to make things better). it’s not a happy ever after, but it is a fitting ending for them, because it’s an ending they chose for themselves years ago, and they must keep doing it if they truly believe in a better future.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

THE PARTNERSHIPPPP

one of my favorite quotes to describe them: “Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.” —Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

i like that we’re introduced to them as a professional, competent team, and no matter what else we find out about them, that understanding never changes, it only grows. even when roy is shown to be a moron, OH turns out that was a front, so even if he’s a goofball sometimes, he is still an ambitious man with goals who trusts his right hand to straight-up murder him in cold blood if he ever steps out of line.

i like that they also find themselves looking out for two vulnerable kids (while they continue doing their very dangerous work that would get them both executed if they were found out, a juxtaposition that would be funny if the kids weren’t also wrapped up in the mess). and even as roy argues with ed, even as he and riza disagree on having ed, a literal teenager, join the military, both he and riza would be willing to take a bullet for those kids. one interesting disparity between them is how roy was willing to sign this boy up into the service, but even though he recognized ed had “fire in his eyes,” he still ultimately views him as a kid, like when he tries to cover up hughes’s death; but riza understood exactly what ed was getting into and knew they couldn’t hide him from it. she told ed what happened at ishval when he asked and didn’t shy away from the fact that she’s a war criminal who expects to eventually—and wants—be put on trial. she gives ed a gun to defend himself when he runs off to fight gluttony and envy with ling and al. and the thing is that roy knows she’s right to do these things, he just doesn’t have the volition sometimes to follow through, but that’s why she’s there, to make sure he follows through on the things he signed up for.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

hm, i’m not sure! maybe the opinion that i’m fine with them never getting together for the reasons above? lmaoo that’s not to say i’d be opposed to arakawa writing them happily married at 80...

[sassydefendorflower]

People love to compare Roy and Bradley or Ling and Wrath, but I think there is a special beauty in the narrative parallels between Riza and Winry.

Because these woman manage to break out of the Shounen mold in a way that reaches beyond the Strong Female Character trope and quickly secures itself as... good character writing. Period.

And they do so in a very clever way. Someone else on here once pointed out that Hughes/Mustang/Hawkeye are the trio that runs parallel to Ed/Al/Winry and while they aren't narrative foils to each other - at least not in the way many of the other characters are - they do present a similar function within the story. The three young people who went on an adventure. Only Hughes died and Riza and Roy were permanently altered - and Ed, Al, and Winry got a chance to save the world.

But especially when it comes to Riza and Winry there is something more to the comparison. Especially when it comes down to the choices they made.

But why are Riza and Winry more interesting?

Because when Roy recruits Ed and Al, Riza tells Winry that she followed Roy into the military because she had someone to protect - and this - in other stories - would clearly be a setup for Winry later following Ed and Al into the military to "protect" them. A direct parallel between the two "girls" in a Shounen trio. We've all seen it before.

And I think we see Winry play with that thought when she sticks around Central with them after her first apprenticeship in Rush Valley - she tries to be the third girl to Ed and Al's action duo… but it doesn't work out.

She - strong, clever, genius, confidant Winry Rockbell - suddenly feels weak. Because she can't punch danger away from Ed. She can't repair Al's scratches and dents. She can't kill Scar to save her friends and avenge her family. She can't learn how to shoot and kill just to protect her friends - no, that's not quite correct, is it? She won't. She won't learn how to kill.

And that sucks. Because Winry isn't used to feeling like that, so lost and insecure, at least not constantly. Yeah, when Ed and Al are away, she worries, and that's part of the reason why she tried to join in, but that is nothing compared to the powerlessness she's facing now. Maybe she would worry less if she could be there when they fight, if she could protect them like Riza does with Mustang… but that's just not who she is.

Her job isn't to protect Ed and Al - her job is to give people arms and legs and good costumer service. I really like that scene/episode (23, me thinks) where she gets a phone call from Rush Valley and all these people ask for her to come back. Because Yes, Ed telling her thanks for helping him is VERY important for her character… and yet I think this phone call is the moment Winry realizes that she's not Riza. That she won't take a gun into her hands and kill for Ed and Al.

She will never be Armstrong or Hawkeye or even Izumi… she will be Winry Rockbell, automail engineer and genius.

And that's the reason why only she could have pulled Scar on their side. Because she chose healing over killing - her telling Scar in Baschool that she'd save his life because her parents would want her to honor their choice? That was Winry following the deeper themes of the show, by adding positive energy to the flow of the universe.

Riza saving Scar? Wouldn't have worked (why would he listen to the woman with a gun in her hands?). Armstrong helping Scar? Wouldn't have happened (what reason would General Armstrong have at this point to spare a murderer?). Mei saving Scar? Would have ended with the Ed/Marcoh/Scar/Al alliance falling apart (it is so much easier to fall apart if no one has been forced to see past the horror yet).

And it's not because these characters were even a touch less well written than Winry - if anything it showcases how unique all of the female characters in FMA were/are.

In this we find Riza again - because Riza chose differently than Winry. She followed Roy into the military, she learned and perfected how to shoot and kill. Their narratives mirror each other - Ed carefully prying a gun out of Winry's hands so she doesn't kill, only to give Riza a bloody gun a few episodes later, knowing she will clean it and use it to kill.

When Riza tells us that she has lost the right to feel squeamish about killing because of often she'd pulled the trigger, she is Winry's foil - Winry who was stopped before she could make a similar choice.

And it's not just that, is it?

Riza let her hair grow because a young Winry Rockbell had long hair and seemed to like it - and Riza needed a change after coming back from Ishval.

Winry got her ears pierced because the strong Lieutenant visiting them had looked cool (and because she needed a place for all of Ed's little gifts) - and Winry needed something steadfast, now that her friends were growing up.

There's just something about the two of them, so similar, so loyal and stubborn and full of love, that fascinates me. Because at every turn they make a different choice, at each turn one walks deeper into hell and the other chooses healing - and yet, while they couldn't be more different, they also couldn't be any closer.

I can't imagine how glad Riza was, when she realized Winry hadn't followed Ed and Al into the military.

I can only guess how happy Winry was, when she saw Riza follow Mustang further if only to make sure the future actually changed.

A mirror doesn't have to be a perfect thing, and if anything I think that is on purpose.

[fullmetalscullyy]

the way it was - chapter 34

summary: what if riza never went to war? riza hawkeye has just married the man she loves. six months into their marriage, an unexpected surprise stops her from following roy to the military. a canon divergence au that explores what might have happened had riza been unable to join the military. there will be plenty of family fluff, angst, and royai.

rated: m | warnings: no archive warning apply

read on ao3

1914

and though my edges may be rough

i never feel i'm quite enough

it may not seem like very much

but i'm yours

Roy’s home office was quiet. Riza poked her head in after putting Mia to bed to ask if he needed anything while he worked. Currently Roy was sitting in his chair, both hands clenched into fists and resting upon his cheeks. A blank stare looked up the paper in front of him while his hair stood up on end in places. One strand pointed outwards, straight towards Riza, like a long finger beckoning her into the room. Given his current state of appearance, she would have entered regardless.

It was the last week of the year. A new one would begin with the next and while it was normally a joyous celebration in their household, Riza felt nothing but foreboding.

The homunculus’ plan would be set in motion in the new year. Roy knew that much but didn’t have a definite date. The thought twisted Riza’s stomach violently, making her fear for her children’s future.

“It’s coming soon, isn’t it?”

Snapping from whatever had clouded his thoughts, Roy’s head jerked upwards. He blinked at her, looking worse for wear. “What?” His throat was cleared as he recovered from being a million miles away. The papers on his desk were slowly sorted and shuffled into piles.

Riza entered the room and walked around his desk. “Whatever you’re planning for, it’s coming soon.”

“It is.” His shoulders slumped even more, rounding forwards.

Riza perched on the edge of his desk and crossed her arms over her chest as she studied him closely. Her eyes narrowed to scrutinise his appearance while he was distracted. 

His counterattack was clearly taking its toll. Everything was weighing him down and it was beginning to show. His shoulders drooped. There were dark circles underneath his eyes, leaving them look bruised. Even his hair hung limp over his eyes - the result of him running his hands through it so often.

“Is there anything I can do to help?”

A tired, but appreciative, smile was shot her way. “I wish there was but… It all depends on the answers I get back from others. Right now it’s just a waiting game until I’m essentially summoned by the homunculi,” he scoffed lightly.

Roy tipped backwards in his chair. His face lifted towards the ceiling while his hands rubbed at tired eyes. Riza felt a wave of sympathy wash over her.

“Any news on the others?”

“Increased strength from our enemies in the south,” Roy swallowed. “Fuery was sent right into the middle of it.”

Riza reached forward and squeezed his shoulder in comfort. She hated hearing how hoarse his voice sounded.

“Havoc’s fine but he’s feeling frustrated,” Roy continued, making an already neat pile of paper even neater. He just needed something to distract his hands with. “He’s stuck in a position he shouldn’t even be in. Breda’s gone dark. I don’t know where or how he is.”

“Breda will be okay,” Riza reassured with confidence. “He’s one of the most resourceful men I’ve ever met. There will be a good reason for him going quiet, I’m sure.”

Roy nodded weakly. “Falman reported from the north. The Elric brothers came and went. It… wasn’t without incident,” he added carefully, with a frown.

Riza shook her head fondly but still felt worry coil around her ribs. Judging from stories about their previous adventures, it rarely was a peaceful encounter with them. She just hoped they were all right.

“But they’ve been split up.” Roy bit his lip worriedly. “We lost contact after that.”

“You need sleep,” Riza murmured, running a hand through his hair.

“How can I sleep when everything is like this?”

“How can you expect to fight it all when you’re extremely sleep deprived,” she countered.

Maes’ night habits had eased as time progressed. They were both getting more sleep. He had the odd day where it was a struggle, but nothing compared to his first few weeks after birth. That was a nightmare that passed by in such a blur Riza barely remembered it. However, they still had some catching up to do. Looking after him and Mia was difficult to juggle, especially with Roy working so much. They’d still to find a routine that worked and were slowly easing into something that was relatively manageable.

Roy muttered something quietly underneath his breath.

“It’s because you know I’m right.” Riza nudged his shoulder affectionately with a closed fist.

“Yeah, yeah,” he grumbled.

“Is there anything I can help with tonight, if you’re not going to come to bed? Anything I can get you?”

“I don’t know,” was his honest reply. If anything, it made him sound even more tired. “I just…” His hands found his hair, gripping onto the strands tightly in frustration. “I need action,” he mumbled.

“There’s nothing you can do this late at night, Roy.”

“There is. There’s plenty I can be doing, but I’m stuck here.”

Her hands folded together to rest atop her thighs. “Bradley has a tight leash on you still?”

Roy nodded. “I’m not to leave the city. Otherwise…” His expression turned stricken, quickly glancing up at her.

“I understand.”

“I hate it.”

“I do too. Especially when it’s upsetting you… But, you can’t be the hero all the time, Roy. Give yourself a little break, because you really need it. The Elric brothers will be okay. They have allies throughout the country. They’re not short on people who will help them if they need it.”

“Yes, but –” He sighed heavily.

“But it’s not you?” Riza guessed, and she was right.

Roy nodded minutely.

“You sound like their father.”

Roy scoffed once, twice, then snapped his mouth shut without a reply.

Riza grinned at him.

“I keep replaying the same thing over and over in my head, the more I look at this…”

Glancing over her shoulder at his desk, Riza saw the mess of notes still spread over the surface. A drawing of the ouroboros tattoo caught her eye, followed by a map of the country, covered in scribbles and notes. A map of Central was there too, the same one she’d seen at the hospital when Roy and Havoc were there. It had all the labs circled on it, the ink slightly smudged and the paper crumpled at the edges.

“What’s on your mind?”

His spine straightened as he took a deep breath. It was held in his lungs for a beat, before rushing outwards with his speech. “Hughes.”

Momentarily thrown, her eyes wandered off to the side, no longer focussing on his work.

“When it comes down to it, I’m going to have to ask them,” he admitted.

“Ask what?” Her head slowly turned to face him. Riza’s stomach dropped as she watched his jaw set in determination.

“Ask if they killed Hughes.”

“You’re going to do it outright?” Riza swallowed past the lump in her throat. “That’s –”

“It’s the only way I’ll get a straight answer,” he replied firmly.

“Roy…”

“I have to ask. I have to know. I can’t stand back and do nothing about it.”

Riza balked at his forceful tone and the action caught his eye.

“What?”

“I just - Roy we talked about this,” she replied. She was almost pleading with him.

“I know, but I still have to ask them, Riza. When it all boils down to it I have to find out. The military has already buried the truth but I won’t let that happen to Hughes. He will have justice.”

She felt like rubbing her temples but stopped herself. Riza’s head tipped down to look at her joined hands. She squeezed them tightly as she tried to keep a hold on all the emotions roiling inside of her.

They killed for Hughes for pushing too hard. They’d do the same to Roy eventually, even if he was important to them. Or do it to her. He had to play by their rules and keep the peace. If he didn’t, then…

“I can’t stop you from asking.” She tried to make her voice strong and even but it shook slightly. “I don’t want you to but I can’t stop you.”

Riza stood from leaning against his desk and walked towards the door. She needed some air. Desperately. The anxiety and fear that was creeping over her was getting worse. It was like her chest was being squeezed inside a vice.

“They can’t get away with what they did –”

Roy was indignant as he called after her but they’d already gone through all of this. Riza felt something begin to break inside of her chest as she clenched her fists by her side. Her nails dug into her palms painfully, but she barely noticed as she retreated from him.

“We’re not arguing about this again,” she nearly growled. The control was slipping the more the vice squeezed on her chest. It almost felt like she couldn’t breathe.

“Arguing,” Roy echoed. “Who said there was anything to argue about?”

“We’ve been through this Roy and I’m not doing it again,” Riza snapped, spinning around to face him. One finger lifted to point at Roy’s chest. “I’m not going through all of that after it was put to bed already. You’re not getting revenge,” she stated simply.

Roy’s eyes narrowed slightly at her, tightening around the edges. Before, it may have made Riza pause, but now she felt no hesitation. Because this wasn’t just anger at the injustice Maes and his family suffered. It was hatred too. Riza could see it clearly in his eyes. It was directed towards those who had murdered his friend. She wouldn’t let him give in to it.

“Riza –” He was almost seething but Riza would not let that talk or that behaviour fly now.

“Stop it,” she growled.

Riza stormed out of his office. She was getting worked up and needed to remove herself from the situation.

He couldn’t give in to that hatred.

In her mind’s eye Riza pictured their children. Their perfect, innocent faces smiling happily. Their expressions twisted in horror when they were told about what their father had done in memory of their beloved Uncle Maes. If she brought them up now, would they be enough for Roy to see sense?

“You can’t tell me not to do anything. I have to know.”

“That’s fine,” she relented. “But exacting justice, Roy? By your own hand? We’ve been through this –”

“And are you going to stop me? Would you stop me tonight if I left to do it?”

It was a challenge but it still pissed her off. She wouldn’t back down from it either. Instead she glared at him after he asked the question.

“You can fucking bet I would stop you,” she hissed. “You are not to get revenge for Hughes’ murder,” she forced out. “You can ask them, sure, but I will not let you take the matter into your own hands and perform your own punishment. That’s not who you are and you’re better than that.” Riza shook her head. “The man that would do that is not my husband.”

“Mummy?”

Mia’s voice sounded from behind them. She was impossibly quiet and sounded extremely upset.

Riza whirled around and saw Mia standing on the second step. Her hand gripped the banister in a white knuckled grip. Her eyes were wide with tears pooling in them as they switched between Riza and Roy.

“Daddy?”

Riza shot him a warning glance, telling him to shut up, but also telling him that their conversation wasn’t over. She noted Roy’s stricken face. However there was still an ember of his plight present in his eyes. Riza would be more than happy to continue this later but only once Mia was asleep and they were both calmer.

“Mia? What are you doing up?” Riza’s voice was soft as she approached their daughter. Crouching before her, Riza became eye-level with Mia and readjusted her pyjama top. One shoulder had slipped over to one side haphazardly.

“I…” She bit her lip, casting her gaze to the side worriedly. “I heard you both shouting.”

Riza’s gut twisted painfully. Her breath caught in her throat as she sucked it in.

“I didn’t like it.”

Guilt flooded Riza. Regardless of the topic of conversation, they should have been quieter. “Sorry, Mia Bear. Dad and I were just having a discussion.” Riza ran her hand over Mia’s hair and cupped her cheek to try and soothe her.

“You were very loud.”

Riza hugged her daughter, placing a hand on the back of her head so it rested against Riza’s shoulder. “Sorry. We didn’t mean to be.”

“Will Daddy really leave tonight?” Her head cocked to the side before looking over Riza’s shoulder at Roy. “It’s really late. And what does revenge mean?”

Mia didn’t know the meaning of the word. There was no way she should either. She was too young. It would only upset her if it was explained.

Riza prided herself on always telling her daughter the truth and explaining things as best as she was able, but this was not one of those times. It would only upset her. Plus, Riza would never let Roy stoop so low to that anyway.

“No,” Riza reassured, pulling away and cupping her daughter’s face gently in both hands. “He’s not going anywhere tonight.”

“What does that word mean?”

She was far too inquisitive for her own good. Once again, Riza brushed it aside. It pained her to do so because her father did that with her mother’s condition and ultimately, her death. She’d sworn she’d never do it to a child of her own if that ever came to pass, but she had no time at the moment to describe the intricacies of the word and what that meant her father might possibly do if pushed hard enough.

She and Roy needed to talk. Badly.

“I’ll tell you tomorrow, okay?” Riza smoothed her daughter’s unruly hair down. Despite her fringe being styled like Riza’s and her hair falling below her shoulders, it reminded Riza so much of Roy’s hair. It still had a mind of its own and didn’t obey any laws of physics or hairspray.

Mia yawned. “Okay,” she mumbled, appeased for the moment.

Riza hoped that by the morning, she’d forgotten about her mother’s promise.

“Up to bed with you now, okay?” Riza smiled at Mia. “I’ll come and tuck you in.”

Mia looked over at Roy. Without warning, she hopped down the last two steps and rushed over to her father. He’d been staring straight ahead, stricken, but Roy jumped in fright when Mia’s arms slung around his torso. He looked down at her face. One cheek was pressed into his stomach as she squeezed her eyes closed tightly in her hug. Riza watched with a pained chest as Mia’s hands fisted in his t-shirt.

“I love you, Daddy,” Mia whispered into his stomach, giving him an even tighter squeeze.

“Time for bed, Mia,” Riza called gently, her voice hoarse.

Mia nodded and smiled up at her father. A wobbly smile overtook his face and he nodded.

“Love you too, Mia,” Roy whispered. It was as quiet as a breath. “So much.”

“Come on, Mia.” Riza extended her hand for her daughter to take.

“Will Dad be okay?” Mia bit her lip worriedly, looking over her shoulder at him.

“He’ll be fine.” Riza shot him a look, noticing him swallow thickly as he stared after them both. She couldn’t be sure from the distance between them, but it looked like that ember in his eyes had fizzled out. “I’ll talk to him when I come back down.”

“Okay,” Mia whispered.

Their daughter walked ahead, up the stairs and out of sight.

“Think about one thing,” Riza stated quietly. “If you do go ahead with your own brand of justice, is that the father you want to be?” Her voice was flat as she asked her question. “Is that the home you want to build with actions like that?”

Roy had been staring after Mia, and finally, his eyes settled on her. A breath was sucked into his chest, the movement shaky as his chest heaved loudly.

They would talk but Mia was more important at the moment.

Turning away from him, not bothering to wait on an answer, Riza walked up the stairs to their daughter’s room. She ignored how heavy her footsteps were. It matched the heavy weight in her heart. As she ascended, she just prayed she wouldn’t hear their front door close. Her breath had been held as she climbed slowly. The exhale was quiet, but she heard no sound from the floor below. No door slammed and no floorboards creaked with movement.

Mia first.

“Sleep well, Mia.” Riza tucked her daughter into bed tightly and bent forward, pressing a kiss to her nose. Mia giggled and sighed happily.

“Night, Mum,” she mumbled tiredly.

The house was silent when Riza descended back down the stairs. She had hoped and prayed Roy wouldn’t leave tonight, but as she searched their house and he was nowhere to be found. Tears flooded her vision. Blinking them away, Riza’s footsteps were heavy once more as she made her way to bed.

She hadn’t been able to get through to him. Again.

However, Riza’s thought was banished from her head when she passed by Maes’ room. The door was cracked open which made her panic slightly. She’d left it wide open so she’d be able to hear him through the night if he woke.

Roy was bouncing Maes in the centre of the room. He was fussing quietly, one fist flailing above his head as Roy tried to settle him. His back was to the door as he stared down at their son. Riza heard a sniff and her heart broke.

“I’m sorry, Maes,” Roy whispered against their son’s head. He moved to kiss his forehead. “I’ve hurt her again. I let my emotions run away with me and…” Roy sighed and Riza heard his breathing hitch. “And I would’ve hurt you and your sister too if I’d gone through with everything. I would have been a big disappointment. You’d have thought me a monster,” he gasped quietly. “I’m so sorry.”

Fresh tears appeared in Riza’s eyes. She backed away from the door to give Roy some time alone to process and deal with everything. Despite feeling exhausted after their discussion, a tiny sliver of hope coiled its way around Riza’s ribs. They still needed to talk but witnessing that scene was a promising start.

Once in bed, Riza pulled the sheet up and underneath her chin. She curled into a ball, back to the door, as she waited for Roy to come to bed. Fatigue was threatening to pull her under. Riza fought it as best she could but eventually it tugged hard enough.

She was dozing when Roy slipped into the bed. Disorientated, her body jerked as she was pulled roughly from the half-asleep state she’d been fallen into. Settling down, Riza’s eyes blinked open and she grew still, listening to his movements. From what she could tell, he was on his back.

Roy sighed, a long drawn out sound, then scoffed in disgust. Riza felt the bed dip as he rolled towards her. She held her breath. Her shoulder tingled in anticipation when she saw the shadow of his hand hovering over it, but ultimately he pulled away before he could touch her.

“Are you awake?” His whisper broke through the loud silence of the room.

Riza nodded.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, sounding defeated and miserable.

“I thought you might really leave,” Riza admitted.

“I did it once.” She heard him swallow, then pull away from her completely. Her back felt cold now that his presence was no longer there. “I won’t make that same mistake twice.”

She rolled over to face him. “You’re willing to talk about this?” Riza searched his gaze, almost begging him to reconsider dealing with the whole thing by himself.

Roy nodded, staring up at the ceiling. Both hands scrubbed at his face before falling back to his sides, his limbs heavy. “Of course. But… I’ve made my decision.”

Riza stiffened and Roy noticed. He turned his head to finally face her.

“I’m staying,” he reassured. “And… And seeing your face, that look on it, and hearing Mia’s scared voice…” Roy swallowed, glancing away, unable to look at her. “I took one look at little Maes and… Everything just fell away.”

“Because big Maes wouldn’t want you to do it either,” Riza whispered.

“Big Maes?” Roy barked a laugh, filling the quiet room with his sudden amusement.

Riza smiled wryly. “I thought that might make you laugh.”

“It did. Big Maes and Little Maes…” Roy shook his head fondly. His amusement flickered out, replaced by quiet contemplation. “The perfect combo,” he smiled sadly. “I thought it might be too strange naming him after Hughes.” Roy swallowed. “Just one look at him and it’s like he’s really here,” he admitted.

Riza reached over to make first contact, brushing his fringe away from his forehead. Her thumb swiped over the skin underneath once to comfort him. 

“I don’t think of him as Hughes, obviously,” Roy reassured, “but… It’s like a connection to him.” He turned his head to look at her. “Does that make sense?”

She nodded. “It does. I’m glad we got through to you. Maes always could talk you down so easily.”

“You do it so much better, though,” Roy sighed, rolling and wrapping his arms around her shoulders. He shifted over, moving so she was flush against his bare chest.

“Really?”

“You think you don’t?” His hold on her tightened.

“There was a time when I did –”

“When?” He pulled away to look down at her with such concern on his face.

Riza shook her head. “It doesn’t matter –”

“It does. When?”

“When you first came back from Ishval. You were struggling a lot and I felt I couldn’t get through to you.” Her admission was quiet as she whispered it against his skin. “And then after Maes died. I… Well, I thought I was going to lose you to your grief and anger and didn’t know what to do.”

Fingers were placed gently against her chin. Roy tilted her head up slowly, tenderly, so she was finally looking right at him, however there was a fierce fire in his eyes.

“You were always the best at it,” he promised. “One thought of you and it kept me grounded. I think of our family and realise that you’re my top priority, despite my duty. You always were.”

“It’s been hard to juggle for you.”

“It has.”

His eyes stared into hers and Riza found herself pinned by his gaze but didn’t mind it one bit. She never had. Those dark depths were a comfort.

“That’s what happened tonight. It’s still raw and I let my emotions and frustration and fatigue get the better of me.”

“That’s why you need more sleep,” she added, teasing him lightly to try and lighten the mood.

Roy chuckled. “You’re very right about that one.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “You always are.”

He turned quiet and Riza was content just to hold him. She was giving him all the time he needed to voice what he needed to say.

“If I lost myself to all of this…” His eyes closed and shame overtook his features. “That’s not the husband or father I want to be. I don’t want to be a monster again.” His voice grew hoarse, causing Roy to clear his throat. “I don’t want my kids to think of or remember me like that.”

“Only you can make that choice.”

“I know,” Roy nodded, “and I choose you. I choose all three of you. There’s no contest and never has been. It’s the easiest decision to make, like breathing.”

Riza angled her head and pressed her lips against his.

“I’m sorry for hurting you again,” he whispered huskily against her lips. His breath mingled with hers, warming the skin of her face in the same way his love and her relief was washing through her body.

“Thank you for coming back to me.” Silently, she wrapped her arms around his torso and cuddled into him.

“I always will, Riza.” His breath tousled her hair gently, tickling her. “You always bring me back.”

“I understand this is important to you,” she added, “it’s important to me too. I want to find out what really happened to Maes too and see the culprit be brought to justice but there’s other ways to do it.”

“I know,” he replied solemnly.

“I know how angry and frustrated you are about everything… Promise me one thing?”

“What?” He lifted his eyebrows in anticipation.

“Just… Think of them when it all boils down to it. Think about what you told me about not wanting to become a monster for our kids.” Riza’s voice almost shook with emotion as she spoke. “You tasked me with keeping you on the right path, and I’m trying, but when you fight back like that it makes it impossible.”

“My anger blinded me. I’m so sorry. It’s not an excuse, I know, but it did.” Shame coloured his tone.

“You saw sense, though,” Riza soothed him as she caressed his cheek gently. “And that’s what matters. When the time comes, think of Mia and Maes and your role in their life. Think of what you want them to see you as. Please.”

“And you too,” Roy insisted, his voice turning husky. His grip on her adjusted, holding her tighter against his body.

His inclusion of her made a tiny smile appear on her lips. She pressed a kiss to the column of his neck, seeing his Adam’s apple bob.

“And me too. Don’t let that hatred fool you, push you into something you don’t want to be. Not only for our sake, but for your own, and for Hughes’ memory. He wouldn’t want to see you turn into someone like that either on his behalf.”

“Always, Riza,” he breathed, sealing his promise. “Always, for you three.”

[raisansgrapeon]

Ok I have words about 03 Roy

People kinda generally agree he's a bit of a prick compared to BH Roy and seems a lot less caring of the Elrics.

I mean, it takes till ep 13 for him to actually say, "nah I wanna protecc them" to Hughes.

But catch this: he's been totally protecting them from the beginning, albeit he's a bit harsher about his methods.

The reason I'm making this post is because of a line in ep 13 that gets contextualized later but let's blow through the smaller moments real quick.

Roy putting the Elrics on the train just to ensure that they can actually get what they want. Yes, putting children into a hostage situation is a dick move but they wouldn't have been able to apply for the state alchemists exam otherwise due to the age limit in 03.

Talking with the Elrics post Nina, telling them to accept the path they're on. Yes, he is being harsh here but he knows that it's better than coddling them because if he does, next time will hit just as hard. And there will be a next time.

Making Al give up on the state alchemists exam. Yes, this impedes his promotion and at this point, this is what we assume his reasoning is, but also he recognizes the danger the brothers would be in if their secret gets out. He can't protect them then.

Making Ed give up his certification if he goes after Nina's killer. Ed is getting majorly sidetracked by her death and Roy can see that. Giving Ed an ultimatum is Roy trying to convince Ed to leave this to the trained professionals and focus. Explains why he doesn't get mad at their other side quests later. He knew that Ed researching Nina wouldn't be a side quest.

Keeping a tight leash on the Elrics. Yes, to Ed it's Roy being distrustful of them and trying to control them and their mission and using their secret as blackmail is fucking disgusting. To Roy, it's keeping an eye on them and making sure he knows what they're doing at all times. Making sure they don't get in over their heads. Making sure he can get them if things get out of hand. Using their secret to make sure they don't get into too much trouble.

Now we get to the main event before he drops all of his cards.

Episode 13, Roy tells Ed he should settle down, and stop looking for the Stone.

Wtf, right? Peak asshole. Bitch don't care. Right?

Wrong.

This is Roy protecting them.

At the time, yes. We all hate Roy for this. How dare he impede on the Elrics' journey. That's what Ed thinks too. Fuck Colonel Sarcasm. But later context changes this scene a bit.

Later, when we do meet Marcoh and learn more about the Stone, we see that Roy used it. It wasn't just Kimblee in 03. We can see Roy in the background of important talks Marcoh has with the generals. Roy knows Marcoh went awol. He told him he would.

Even if Roy doesn't know the whole story behind the stone, he does know that it was something horrible that killed thousands. He knows Marcoh hated his creation.

Roy wanted Ed to give up, because to some degree, he knew they wouldn't get what they wanted.

[sleepykittypaws]

Ted Lasso: Carol of the Bells

Original Air Date: August 13, 2021 (Apple TV+) Where to Watch?: It’s an Apple TV+ original series, so should be available on the streaming service in perpetuity

Ted Lasso, the series, is one of the brightest entertainment lights to come along in a relatively dark time. Premiering mid-pandemic, the show, based on a series of not-all-that-well-known NBC soccer coverage promos, stars Jason Sudeikis as an American college football coach hired to coach British Premier League soccer (I, of course, mean, football) team, AFC Richmond.

The show, which has become something of a phenomena as it enters its second season with a record 20 Emmy nominations, has been hailed for its niceness and general likability. It's funny, sharp and, yes, sweet, without being saccharine. Bad stuff happens on, and to, Ted Lasso, just like in real life, but the characters don't let the worst parts of their lives define them.

Ted Lasso’s trick is that it manages to be both grounded and an escape from reality, into a world that's a little bit kinder and more gentle than the one we all actually live in, in 2020 and 2021.

So, there's probably no better program to offer up a Christmas special, even in August, despite the fact that I'm usually a stickler about keeping holiday content special by confining it to the season. I mean, sure I start "the season" no later than November 1, but, still, I do enjoy waiting to savor my Christmas TV, so it takes something pretty special to get me in the spirit mid-summer.

“Carol of the Bells,” the fourth episode of Ted Lasso’s second season, takes place, like most UK series Christmas specials, both within and somewhat outside the timeline of the rest of the series, and could easily be watched, and enjoyed, as a stand alone. There is barely a passing mentioning of what felt like a cliffhanger ending to episode three, when the team protested their top sponsor, Dubai Air, in solidarity with Nigerian player Sam Obisanya. But in “Carol of the Bells,” the timeline of the show has jumped ahead significantly, putting behind us the team's streak of draw matches, which had been another  main focus of the season to date, via one line of exposition and a pan to a whiteboard in Coach Lasso's office. 

One of the things I love about this show is that they aren't afraid to resolve a plot line mid-season. No need to draw it out for drama, or to have beloved characters backtrack, constantly recreating the same situations. I think the moment I really feel in love with Ted Lasso is when the owner-seeks-to-destroy-team-as-revenge-on-her-ex plot that launched the series was resolved, not via a dramatic reveal, but a quiet office conversation with team owner Rebecca asking, and receiving, forgiveness, from Ted, who understood her instinct to lash out, and refused to hold those worst impulses against her, knowing he had his own not-quite-pure reasons for accepting the job in the first place. 

For me, that moment was when Ted Lasso went from amusing, to awesome. So, it's no surprise that the Ted-Rebecca relationship continues to bloom at Christmas, where Hannah Waddington's character absolutely sees through Ted's all-good exterior, knowing just how lonely the first Christmas post-divorce can be.

When we saw Ted drinking, alone in his apartment, and watching It's a Wonderful Life, I feared we might be in for one of those dream Christmas movie redux's with Ted learning how important his existence really is, but of course I should have known better. A huge part of Ted Lasso's charm is that show usually zigs, when viewers expect it to zag: Not giving the team the tie to keep them from being relegated, the undramatic reveal of Rebecca's evil plan to Ted, Keeley and Roy's rock solid relationship.

Instead, the show continues to demonstrate it really does have the best of intentions with Rebecca and Ted going on a Christmas Day giving spree, that feels both absolutely perfect for the pair, and helps support the very real Poverty Alleviation Charities.

Meanwhile, Roy and Keeley's Sexy Christmas is interrupted by the last minute arrival of Roy's adorable niece, Phoebe, who has received a not-very-nice gift from a boy in her class. Roy and Keeley's banter is on full display as they attempt to both revenge and reconcile the source of Phoebe's distress.

Brett Goldstein, who plays Roy and is also a writer on the show, steals almost every scene he's in, even at Christmas, and the onscreen chemistry he has with Juno Temple's Keeley is off the charts. That child actor Elodie Blomfield more than holds her own with these two is a real testament to her own, budding abilities.

The ending of Roy, Keeley and Phoebe's Christmas adventure—teased early on with the reveal of the teasing boy's name as Bernard (and if you don't get that reference Google "Richard Curtis-Bernard Jenkin") is so perfect, I absolutely did tear up. 

Oh and, shout out to guest star Claire Skinner, who knows a thing or two about classic UK Christmas specials with her own from her days on Outnumbered, another of my UK faves. Gutted we didn't get to see Dr. Rogers' husband, who I kept hoping would be Skinner's real-life partner, and Outnumbered co-parent, Hugh Dennis. Really, Dennis' lack was the only real mis-step in this entire episode for me.

Meanwhile, Higgins, played so well by Jeremy Swift (the casting in Ted Lasso is across-the-board perfection), is hosting his annual Christmas open house for Richmond team members without family in town, expecting the usual one or two players to pop in. Instead, with Swift's real-life wife Mary Roscoe at his side, almost the entire team turns up ready to celebrate with the Higgins clan. 

It's only at the very end that “Carol of Bells” goes traditional Christmas special, putting most of its main characters outside Casa Higgins for an episode-ending musical number that, I'm just gonna admit, while cheesy as heck, brought even more tears to my eyes, despite it still being August, and would have made me a blubbering mess in December—when I will definitely be watching this again.

From the opening scene reveal of the team's Secret Santa exchange, to the closing moments that put Waddington back on the mic, which fans have been demanding since her karaoke outing in season one, for an extra dose of Christmas cheer, “Carol of the Bells,” was, to me, perfect. 

I'm not exactly sure why Apple TV+ didn't save this for a one-off November or December drop but, as I said on Twitter, it's very possible, maybe even likely, that I saw my favorite Christmas content of 2021 on August 13th. Ted Lasso: Carol of the Bells is going to be very, very hard to top.

Final Judgement: 4 Paws Enthusiastically Up for this instant Christmas classic

[worryinglyinnocent]

Fic: Forged Through Fire (13/13)

Summary: Amestris. Once democratic, now a military dictatorship. Prohibition is strict; personal freedoms curtailed. All alchemists must be state-licensed or face imprisonment. Foreigners are met with suspicion. It’s a grim place and a grim time, but there are some people able to bring a little light to the world. Behind an innocent-looking bookshop, speakeasy proprietor Chris Mustang has formed an unlikely alliance with unlicensed alchemist Van Hohenheim to provide alcohol to those who want it and medical care to those who need it. When Riza’s newly complete tattoo becomes infected, Roy brings her into this underworld, little knowing the way it will change their lives in the future – uncovering the secrets of the mythical Philosopher’s Stone and the schemes of a Fuhrer hell-bent on achieving immortality, all whilst navigating what they mean to each other.

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Rated: T

[One] [Two] [Three] [Four] [Five] [Six] [Seven] [Eight] [Nine] [Ten] [Eleven] [Twelve] [AO3]

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Forged Through Fire

Epilogue

“Have you noticed that everything seems so much lighter after you leave the city?”

Roy looked out of the window in the same direction as Riza, looking at the sun shining brightly over the green hills as the train sped out of Eastern City along the branch line, stopping at all the small country towns on the way. They’d left Central in the early hours of the morning whilst it was still dark, and it was still a while to go before they reached Resembool. 

Riza yawned, but she couldn’t bring herself to close her eyes and try to sleep, not when the countryside was looking so beautiful. She couldn’t believe that in all her life, she’d never been this far out of the metropolis. It was like a whole other world out here, a place where she could almost imagine that the horrors of the Amestrian regime had never existed.

Things still weren’t good yet. There was a long way to go before the damage from Bradley’s Fuhrership would be rectified, but at least the country was slowly making its way towards a democracy again. General Grumman, drafted in to pick up the pieces in the wake of Bradley’s death, seemed to be a reasonable man, but then again, when one’s definition of ‘reasonable’ was as broad as ‘not completely insane’, the bar was set pretty low. At least Grumman didn’t appear to be obsessed with making himself immortal. Well, not yet, and Roy was close enough to him to hopefully be able to spot the warning signs. 

Still, in the last year and a half since the regime had been unceremoniously decapitated in very dramatic fashion, things had been moving steadily in the right direction. The draconian laws were being repealed little by little. Madam Christmas was no longer operating out of the back of a bookshop and whilst the regulations on alchemy use were still tight, Riza no longer lived in fear of being shot for her tattoo. 

All in all, she had hope for the future now, not just hope for the country but hope for her own future as well, and that was something that so many people had lost over the past couple of decades. 

She glanced over at Roy across the train carriage from her, staring out of the window still and completely oblivious to her looking at him. Their relationship was moving steadily in the right direction as well, and every version of the future that Riza was hoping for included him in some shape or form. 

In a way she was glad that she had not followed him into the military now, as much as she had wanted to at the time. The anti-fraternisation regulations weren’t one of the things that would be going away in a hurry and they would have made things very difficult. She wondered if Roy was thinking the same thing about where their relationship was going; if he too couldn’t imagine a future without her in it. They had spoken about the nebulous future so many times over the last few months, always optimistic and full of fire, always full of grand plans about what would happen next, but for some reason, the next stage of their own lives together had never really come up. 

Presently, Roy caught her eye looking at him, and he smiled.

“What are you thinking about?”

“You.”

He laughed. “Fair enough.”

“What were you thinking about?”

“I was wondering how difficult it’ll be to find Hohenheim and Trisha once we get there. She said it’s a small community that protects their own; I’m a little concerned that we’ll be run out of town if we say we’re looking for them.” He paused. “And I was thinking about you, too.”

The rest of the journey continued in silence, the same easy silence that they had always shared since they had first met in the Hawkeye house all those years ago, and eventually Riza drifted off into a doze as the early start caught up with her, only waking to Roy’s gentle shake of her shoulder and soft kiss on her cheek. 

“Come on, we’re here.”

Resembool was a small town, and at first glance it appeared that sheep outnumbered people six to one, but Roy’s fears of being hounded back onto the first outbound train were quelled when the locals seemed happy enough to direct them towards Trisha. She and Hohenheim had made their home on the very outskirts of the town, a small white house on the top of a hill overlooking the rest of Resembool. 

“I’m beginning to see why people were happy to let us have directions,” Roy said as they made their way up the hill, which was deceptively steep. “I think anyone wanting to kidnap Hohenheim again would definitely think twice if they had to tackle this hill.” 

Riza just laughed, but by the time they reached the hand-painted wooden sign reading Elric Herbal Dispensary at the gate, she too needed to get her breath back. From this angle she could see the massive glasshouse that took up most of the yard space, and she spied Trisha coming out carrying armfuls of herbs.

“Well, this is an unexpected surprise.” She put down the plants and came over to open the gate for them; Riza could smell the aloe vera and tea tree on her. “Come on in; you’ll need something to fortify you after the walk up the hill.” 

They followed her up the path as she ran on ahead, leaning in through the open window. “We’ve got visitors!”

A minute or so later, the front door opened, revealing Hohenheim with a toddler who could only be described as a mini-Hohenheim on his hip. The child had his golden eyes and hair, and as he regarded Riza and Roy with the scrutiny only a nearly-one-year-old could give, Riza could definitely see the beginnings of the death glare as well. 

Hohenheim smiled. “Hello Roy, Riza. This is an unexpected surprise.”

“It’s good to see you. This must be Edward.” Roy braved the boy’s scrutiny, solemnly holding out a hand to him. Edward just continued to stare dubiously, as if he’d been offered a poisonous snake.

“Yes.” Trisha came over and tickled her son, immediately breaking the tension as he burst into giggles. “And you two might as well be the first to know that his brother or sister is on the way as well.” She patted her stomach, still flat to the unedified observer. “Come on in. It’s been a long time since we’ve seen anyone from the city; you’ll have to give us all the news.”

They entered the house and Trisha set about making tea, Edward returning to the far more important task of building block towers. 

“So, it seems you’ve been busy since you’ve been here,” Roy began. Hohenheim and Trisha looked at each other and then down at Trisha’s belly, and Roy gave a squawk of alarm. 

“That’s not what I meant! I was talking about the greenhouse!” He looked across at Riza for help, and she shook her head. 

“You got yourself into that hole, you can get yourself out.”

Trisha laughed and took pity on him. “Yes, it was quite easy to get set up in the end. My family was always in the traditional medicine line before I went to the city, so the Elric name is trusted in these parts. It’s been good to get back into it with more space than a broom closet. As for Van, everyone knows he’s an alchemist and he gets requests for help with fixing things sometimes, but since our closest neighbours are proper doctors and we don’t get all that many stabbings and less than legal activities in Resembool, he’s been enjoying being a house-husband. I never knew he could bake.”

“According to your summation of the carrot cake yesterday, I still can’t,” Hohenheim said. 

“Well, some of your attempts come out better than others. I think it’s the fact you try to apply science to it all.”

Riza watched the interplay between the two of them fondly. It was good to see them happy and safe after everything that had happened, and the amount of adversity that they had overcome and still been able to settle down into a normal family life gave her fresh hope for her and Roy. Riza would be the first to admit that her life thus far had not been at all normal in any sense of the word, but she knew that she had the chance to find that normality. 

The talk soon turned to their friends in Central and how everyone was getting on. Fuery and Breda were still working tirelessly with Roy. Falman had been sent on secondment to Briggs fortress for six months and had come home with a Drachman fiancée as well as the vodka shipment. Hughes wouldn’t stop talking about new-born Elysia for more than five minutes straight, during which he was talking about Gracia instead. Havoc and Rebecca seemed to be going strong, and Madam Christmas’s business was flourishing even more now that it was out in the open. 

Eventually, Roy started to talk about alchemy and the new licensing plans with Hohenheim, and Riza found herself following Trisha back out to the greenhouse to retrieve the dropped plants from earlier. They were gathering up bundles of tea tree together when Trisha asked the question.

“What’s eating you, Riza? You’ve been very quiet all afternoon.”

Riza sighed. “I don’t know. I guess… How did you know that Hohenheim was the one? How did you know that he was your future and you wanted to spend the rest of your life with him?”

“Hmm.” Trisha sat down on the little bench outside the greenhouse, sorting the bundles in her lap, and Riza perched next to her. “I think, in a way, it was more that he knew. Van’s lived a long time and he’s met so many people, but he’s always said that I was the first person he ever wanted to share his story with. It wasn’t just a question of trusting me with the knowledge, although that was a large part of it. It was more wanting me to know the truth and wanting to open up. For me…” Her hand came to her stomach again. “I’ve always wanted to be a mother, and he was the one I could see myself raising children with.”

“It doesn’t bother you, the fact he’s going to outlive you and the children?”

“No. I’ve made peace with it. I know he’s still going to love me when I’m eighty. Van’s not quite as accepting; he’s looking for a way to reverse what happened to him so that he can start aging again and die a natural death, but for now we’re just enjoying the time that we have. Life is short – for most of us, at least – so we need to make the most of it.”

It was such a simple truth, and yet it hit close to home for Riza. So much of her life had been spent in the shadows. Yes, part of that had been by design whilst she had been living at the bookshop and helping the others who spent their lives in the shadows, but even then, she had been on the edges of that life looking in. She had gone from being shut up in her own home to shutting herself up in a new home, and it was only during the last couple of years, helping Amestris get back on its feet in the best way she could, that she had really stepped out into the light. It was time to make the most of the life she now had, and in Riza’s mind, that included sharing it with Roy. 

Roy stuck his head out of the kitchen window. Speak of the devil.

“Hohenheim’s making dinner,” he said. “I’ve been tasked with keeping Edward away from the stove, but I really don’t think he likes me.”

Riza rolled her eyes as Trisha burst out laughing. 

“Oh Roy. What are we going to do with you?”

They made their way back inside to the kitchen, where Roy and Edward appeared to be engaged in a staring contest. Hohenheim was obviously trying very hard not to laugh and failing miserably. 

“Roy, he’s strapped into his high-chair, he’s not likely to make a run for it,” Trisha pointed out. 

“I know, but children are tricky things. I keep thinking that if I turn my back for a moment I’ll find him swinging from the lampshade or something.”

Trisha sighed. “You’re a brilliant alchemist and an excellent military tactician but you’re absolutely hopeless with children, you know that?”

“We can’t all be good at everything.”

Riza continued to watch the interplay between Roy and Edward for a while. She was not particularly maternal, not in the way that Trisha had always wanted to have kids, and there was a small part of her that was afraid of repeating the same mistakes that her father had made and perpetuating the cycle. All the same, when she thought of a nebulous future that included children, it was Roy that she could see in the picture; still just as hopeless as he was now but with more than enough love to make up for it. 

Trisha caught her eye and gave a knowing smile, and Riza looked away, embarrassed at the train her thoughts were taking. Still, the notion of that permanent future wouldn’t leave her mind. Not the children yet, but the future that was inextricably linked with Roy.

It was a shame when the evening came to a close and they had to leave Trisha and Hohenheim to go back to the little inn by the railway station that they’d booked into for the night. It had been so good to see them thriving out here, with Hohenheim finally finding some form of peace. They left them with the promise to come back and meet the new baby when he or she arrived next year and the knowledge that they were always welcome at any time, and they made their way back down the hill as the sun began to go down. 

“I’m so glad they’re ok, you have no idea. I know that Trisha would have found some way to let us know if anything had happened, but it’s been praying on my mind. I feel a little guilty that we didn’t come to check in on them sooner.”

Riza reached out and found Roy’s hand in the dim dusk light. “I think that might have done more harm than good. They needed the time to get themselves settled and to disappear into the community. And we know that they’re all right now. Honestly, I don’t think that there’s ever been a couple more determined to stick together through thick and thin.”

“I don’t know.” Roy squeezed her hand. “I think we do pretty well on that score.”

“Yeah.” Riza paused, trying to work out the best way of wording what she was about to say and deciding to just go ahead and say it. “Roy, I’ve been thinking. About the future.”

“Yes?”

“I can’t imagine a future without you in it. Well, I can, but I don’t want to. And I was thinking about making that future permanent.”

“Getting married and starting a family, you mean?”

“Yes. Not necessarily the starting a family part. I’ve not gone broody from meeting Edward. But the getting married and being a family of two part. In the future, of course, once everything’s more stable…” She trailed off her rapid justifications as Roy stopped in his tracks. 

“Why wait till the future?” he asked. 

“What?”

“Why wait till the future and everything being more stable? That might take a very long time; Bradley did a lot of damage in a short space of time and it’s going to take a while to unpick. It might be years before things are better again. I don’t want to wait that long.”

“You don’t mean right now?”

“No, of course not. We’ll need some time to plan it. Although we are absolutely under no circumstances allowing Hughes to get involved in planning, you saw what he was like when he and Gracia were getting married.”

“He might be less exuberant if it’s not his own wedding.”

“Don’t bet on it. But I don’t see why we should wait to make it official when it’s what we both want.”

“Are you sure it’s what we both want?”

Roy took her other hand, and Riza could see the earnestness in his face. “I don’t think I’ve ever been more sure about anything. Right now, with all this upheaval going on around us, it’s probably the only thing that I’m sure about. I can get down on one knee and do it properly if you want.”

“No, no, it’s ok… Roy, get back up, you silly man!” She tried to pull him back up onto his feet.

“I’m down now, I might as well do it. Riza Hawkeye, will you marry me? Soon? At a definitive point within the next few months, not a vague date in the future?”

“Yes! Yes, of course I will, now get up before someone sees us!”

“There’s no one around for miles except Trisha and Hohenheim and they’d probably be cheering us on.” 

Nevertheless, he got to his feet again, brushing the dust off his trousers before pulling Riza in for a kiss. 

It was one of those moments that she never wanted to end, and by the time they broke away, the sun was well and truly setting, the lights of the town below starting to twinkle in the darkness as they continued to make their way down hand in hand. 

As much as she wanted to think about the future rather than the past, Riza couldn’t help looking back. A few years ago, she had accepted that her life would be a completely solitary one, never to be shared with anyone. 

She was so glad that she had turned out to be wrong in that respect, and that the future she had never thought possible was materialising itself right in front of her, that it was literally here in her hands. 

She glanced at Roy, returning his smile and squeezing his hand. It was time to let go of the shadows of the past that had haunted her for so long. 

It was time to live in true freedom at last.

[harcidian]

fic writer interview

thank you so much for tagging me, @lantur and @bringingglory (I remembered you tagged me a few weeks ago and I only got to do it now hahah)

Name: hannah, meridianheroine on AO3 and Fanfiction 

Fandoms: actively writing for Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood / FMA Manga. I’ve also written for Pokemon and Vocaloid back in 2012-2014 but please don’t search for it LOL

I only got back to writing last July 2020, so I don’t have much fics to compare yet

(Most popular) oneshot: none so far, but I have a wip entitled “epiphany”, a royai scar-burning oneshot

two-shot: whiskey on ice, amber-brown eyes. Roy grieves for Hughes and Riza joins him in his drinking session, ongoing, also building it to be smut too

(Most popular) multichapter: Roy and Riza Observation Journal, ongoing, a prequel for “meridian”

Actual worst part of writing: editing! I’m so shy to ask for beta, so I usually take intervals to edit my own writing (you know what they say, you are your worst critic!). Then there’s also planning he he it takes so long, but it still changes over time. As tedious they may get sometimes, I still love these two processes of writing, it makes me more satisfied with my work.

How you choose your titles: a word or phrase that encapsulates the entire plot! 

Do you outline: Yes! Maybe I got used to studying too much 😆 Inspiration strikes at the most random of times (in class, in the shower, while taking care of my niece) and so I have to write it down asap before I forget! Sometimes I couldn’t write down everything my brain dictates. But I always leave some room for spontaneity. I usually outline the chapters, writing the main events that need to happen. Kind of like having a starting and finish line, but the route to reach “the end” is up to me while I write. I guess that’s one reason why people say my writing is fluid (because it literally just flows out of me!)

Ideas I probably won’t get around to, but wouldn’t it be nice?: I’m alright with any kind of idea that pops into my head! But if I sort them out, I think it would be portraying Roy as a real womanizer. yanumii told me that Roy was too squeaky clean in FMA:B compared to the manga, but too much of an asshole in FMA 2003. I’m tempted to add this trait to him,,,,,, or something just like it. It could be because he has always been impulsive? hmmmm this has always been at the far corners of my mind.

Callouts @ Me: Chill out dude. You don’t have to do things and finish things all at once. Your hobbies aren’t school, they don’t demand an inconsiderate deadline! Trust in the process because art takes time. As Professor Oak says, “There is a time for everything. But not now.”

Best writing traits: Characterization, descriptions, and unique plot, according to what most of my readers praise. But they all boil down to characterization haha, because I base every element of a story in the character’s personality and tendencies. I always analyze everything I read or watch (whether I like it or not LOL) and I find parallelisms between characters. Then I think, “What happens if they meet? How would they react? What would they say?”. I love exploring the characters and maximize what they can do, inspired by Hiromu Arakawa and Leigh Bardugo.

Spicy Tangential Opinion: Reviews can either make or break a story. It could enhance a story when a reader helps the writer see the big picture, because they tend to obsess with details and forget to take a step back and check if it all adds up. Although readers don’t always notice the connections writers make, they can always tell if writers rushed the plot or create inconsistent characterization. But the sad thing is, writers sometimes do it to address what the readers want. A lot of writers give in to review pressure, which drastically changes what they have planned for their story. I think it’s best to remember that the story belongs to the writer, and that we can’t please anyone, or that life doesn’t always please us. But all in all, I think it’s most important to know what you want and choose reviews that will enhance you, not break you down. 

Thanks for listening to my Ted talk 😆

I tag @jeanhaavoc​, @priscilla-dm , @megthemighty, @fullmetal-hellmouthchemist, @annespelledwithane, @thatisadamnfinecupofcoffee, @ymir-me​ , @borkthemork , @lilisky​, @by-nina​, and anyone else who would love to do this! No pressure tho it’s alright if you don’t!

[splendidshinobi]

FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST 2003 LIVE REACT: EPISODES 11-15

 LETS GO ROUND 3

episode 11: the other brothers elric part 1

yeet this thing edward

ok who r these so called other brothers

“METAL FATHER”

this girl’s uncle is sus. he’s now known as uncle lemons.

THE STONE???? WHOS MAKING A STONE 

oh shit they got kicked to the curb

“THE REAL ELRIC BROTHERS???????” WHOSE ASS

i bet “alphonse” is the taller one

never mind

this twink is annoying

on your knees???????????????????????

ed plz

oh twink doesnt need a circle but doubtful he’s opened a portal of truth

he’s got philosopher’s juice instead i suppose!!

wheres mugear or whoever

oh found him

LUST <3

girly looks hot 

anyways

oh its uncle lemons

these townspeople are annoying as shit

wow what a parallel tragic backstory

operation mole hole

what is the cough sub plot

i have questions

hmm there we go thx fletcher

ugh the twink is back 

and now he’s an attempted murderer

OH FUCKKKKKKKK

great going twink your brother is gonna die

his villain origin story 

uhhh what? part 2 i guess

episode 12: the other brothers elric part 2

fletcher is a homie

ed’s window dive was so dramatic

i literally cannot tell you what the twink’s name is

he is just twink

mugear is suspicious 

he’s not even an alchemist??? bro

who is nash tringham

is he important other than in this specific episode arc

nash tringham and uncle lemons definitely got naughty back in the day

to be fair what is uncle lemons’ name? i do not know

like i cant be expected to remember every one bit character’s name? especially when i have all this other fma knowledge floating around in my head

MARCOH!!!!!!!

why is ed sitting in the tree like that

ed: “google earth...always taking pics”

what is this stone making process with pregnant ladies who thought of this

lets all throw mugear in a septic tank

sussssssss

edward is so unimpressed by this mans

HAHA yes edward my son

“it’s been a good while since i killed anyone. i kinda miss it.” EDWARD YOU KILL ME LMAOOO

uh oh he’s got a red water gun or somethin

so fletcher is the plant alchemist i see

twink’s name is RUSSELL????? how did i miss that

wooooooof sucks to suck mugear

thats A LOT of red water

fletcher’s alchemy is so weird

from the redwood forest to the gulf stream waterssss

what in tarnation is this boy doing

i guess we have another prodigy on our hands okayyyy

why do i feel like we’ll see the tringhams again

uncle lemons strikes again with LEMONS

whats in the letter????

from russell??? why r u so embarrassed edward

thats mighty homosexual of you good sir

episode 13: fullmetal vs flame

so this one is called fullmetal vs flame which makes me think theyre animating that bonus chapter??!!!??!!! yes!!!!!

colonel sarcasm?? nice ed

i too enjoy mocking roy toy

al found a cat

he definitely did

yup

um who’s yelling

probably mustang that dumpster fire of a man

BREDA!!!!!!!!!

black hayate!!!!!!! baby!!!!!!!

FUERY!!!!! he’s so small

breda is a mess omg

havoc is a mess too

kitty! “he called to me” precious al

these boys are a trainwreck 

oh sad kitty flashback

mustang is such a freak 

yeaH i wondER if mustang knows marcoh hmmmmmm HMMM

“names not familiar” yeah sure baby all yall ishval war criminals know each other

ARMSTRONG!!! hey!!!

ummm wtf fuhrer bradley 

UM WHO IS THE LADY UM

hughes is a mESS

ed’s gremlin face gives me life

roy with hayate...im scared

take that dog away from him

yayayay bonus chapter fight scene!

shut up miniskirt man 

oh no take the mic away from hughes

“you just want a promotion!!!” “give back my girlfriend!!!” im dying

i too would love to put a fist in mustang’s face

“too slow” damn idk that was kinda hot

but no im still gonna kill him

he’s so stupid

this is so chaotic

oooh cut the glove yessss

ope never mind

oh great he’s getting flashbacks... well shit happens when you commit war crimes

“ehhh???”

oh hmm theyre saying ishBal in this one instead of ishVal

ill probably still write ishval im more used to that

oh no black hayate she’s gonna pop a cap ive seen this clip before

she did it

“strict mommy” oh um ok

poor kitty cat

scar IS heather

episode 14: destruction’s right hand

back in liore with some more amestrian war crimes on the docket for today

ayyy envy our favorite morally corrupt they/them

gluttony’s snack time

new op lets gooooo

im not vibing as much but hey its kinda poppin

oh hey armstrong what up baby

to be fair ed did meet marcoh with armstrong in manga canon so

hahaha no thats not the fullmetal alchemist...thats alphonse!!!

marcoh’s voice sounds different hold on 

yep different VA

dr marcoh’s alchemical oobleck 

oh hey basque grand u sexy mustachioed bootlicker you shouldnt be here

what the FUCK he’s a weapon of mass destruction

i wish so hard netflix let you screenshot so i could add pics for added value!!!

if philosophers stones fall under grand’s jurisdiction then he is VERY SUS

he aint it

ope hey scar 

this is an odd amalgamation of plot points

oops boy bye

ive always enjoyed scar’s CLEARLY adidas brand track pants

ummmm why did scar’s brother have BROWN hair

i- ok

i miss j michael tatum

ooooooh armstrong baby i was wondering where you were!

rose!!!! tell him!!! fuck u hakuro!!!!

trying to help?? dont make me laugh you’re a general in the amestrian military

episode 15: the ishbal massacre

kinda early for the ishval talk imo?? wonder what we’ll learn

armstrong is literally the buff rasputin trope on tiktok rn

“accidentally” shot an ishvalan child. hmm yeah no

envy just sneezed

HEY KIMBLEE YOU LITTLE SHIT

kimblee looks like christmas came early

they gave roy a stone??????? sounds noncanonical but ok

basque grand is literally wildin out fuck that guy

yuriy and sara’s skeletal remains just sneezed in the ground

wait a damn minute

wait a fucking minute

did roy

shoot

yuriy and sara

ROY SHOT WINRY’S PARENTS

and now hes gonna shoot himself

IM 

im taking a lap around my apartment OH MY GOD WHAT IN THE HELLLLLLLL

IM NEVER GOING TO RECOVER FROM THIS 

FINANCIALLY OR OTHERWISE

im texting my sister about it right now and just SCREAMING

OH NO NO NO MARCOH DO NOT TELL ED WHO KILLED THE ROCKBELLS

oh good he ran away

i literally CANNOT handle them finding out about this

ahaha roy shoots the gun in the air again

roy take that glove off its raining

riza’s leg sweep was way less funny this time

WAIT IT JUST OCCURRED TO ME THAT ROY WAS AT THE HOUSE AND SPOKE TO WINRY AND PINAKO

i mean hes no idiot he knew

what did marcoh just do to scar im confused

nothing will ever make sense to me again after what ive just witnessed

feral al lets gooo

so this episode’s events were pretty similar. other than marcoh.

AND THE FUCKING ROY MUSTANG ISSUE...,........... 

OH NOOOOOO 

MOMS VOICE???

MOMS VOICE????

episode 15 said hey bitch lets watch your world come CRASHING The FUCK DOWN