#(yeah. you read that right. no last name. *everyone disliked that*)

[mastersoftheair]

some of my fav shots from the trailer (via JumpTrailers)

[bqstqnbruin]

Just Friends - Part 1

Hello friends here we are with a new/old fic. like I said with the prologue, this is a rewrite of a fic I started back in 2021 so here we go

General Warnings for all parts: Swearing, drinking, sex, parental death, panic attacks

WC: 4147

Read the prologue here

____________________________________________

The last thing Emeline wanted to find when she got home from work that day was Francesca and Maddy in their apartment with the music so loud she could feel the vibrations through the door. If their neighbors hadn’t complained yet, as someone did just about every single time the two of them were home with Emeline with them, there was no doubt they were going to. The fact that they hadn’t gotten kicked out of the building was baffling, if Emeline had to admit it.

“There’s no way you can hear anything,” Emeline yells over the music, dropping her bag on the floor and kicking off her shoes.

“What?” Fran yells back, she and Maddy showing no care to the fact that Emeline was unusually late getting home and dancing to Maddy’s ‘feral pop punk garage rats’ playlist that Emeline didn’t need to hear right now.

Emeline reaches over to their speaker and turns the music down a little, ignoring Maddy and Fran’s protests. “Why is it so loud?”

“Music is meant to be heard,” Maddy protests. 

“Yeah, heard, not blowing out your ear drums.” 

“Aw, did someone have a hard day at school?” Fran teases, giving her roommate a playful shove on the shoulder.

“Notice what time it is?” Emeline gestures to the clock she had hung over the TV when they first moved in, 8:15 flashing on it when she normally got home around 5:30 every day.

The three of them sit down in their living room, Maddy on the floor, Fran in the chair she had claimed as hers for the last two years, and Emeline cross-legged on the couch, the music just loud enough that Emeline could still feel the vibrations the sound waves were sending through the apartment, not helping the growing dehydration headache she had.

Emeline recounts her day, from the lab that she had set up the night before for her honors students somehow dismantled and parts of it thrown out, knowing that the janitorial staff had a habit of mistaking some of her lab equipment as garbage at times, which meant she had to scramble to reset it before her AP students showed up to review for the test they had that day. The two free periods she was banking on using to take down the honors lab and set up the college-prep lab she wanted to do last period were both taken away because everyone in her department was getting sick, so she had to go cover other classes and use that time to plan out a new lesson for them for last period. Then, since she can’t say no to her students and they found out she played lacrosse in college, she then had to go to practice despite the fact that their season was in the spring, and it was fall. Once that was over, she finally had time to set up the lab, forgetting that she also still needed to prep for the next school day. 

“So what you’re saying is, we’re ordering pizza, drinking wine, and definitely getting drunk this weekend,” Maddy says, already tapping away on her phone their usual pizza orders.

“Have fun with that. Keelan is coming over tonight, too.” Her roommates groan at the mention of her boyfriend's name. “We haven’t seen each other in two weeks since that weird conversation about the guy in the elevator. Order his pizza, too.” 

“I knew I was happier these last two weeks,” Fran snides. Maddy and Fran had a strong dislike for Keelan since the four of them met during their freshman year of college. No matter how often they were together, no matter what he did for the girls, they never warmed up to him. 

“Knock it off,” Emeline tells them, getting drowned out by Maddy turning the music back up, louder than it was when Emeline first walked into the apartment. Emeline groans, lying down on the cushions and putting one of the pillows over her face. She really wanted to just go to her room and rot in her bed by herself after the day she had. If Keelan wasn’t coming over, she could have changed into one of the hoodies and pairs of sweatpants she had stolen from him and sat in the dark with something on Netflix that she wouldn’t pay attention to playing in the background.

“Do you guys hear that?” Maddy asks, pulling Emeline out of the trance she fell into. “Is someone knocking at the door?”

“We would know if the music wasn’t so loud,” Emeline mutters, definitely not loud enough for either of them to hear it.

“Nose goes,” Fran says, her and Maddy holding their finger to their nose like children, pointing at Emeline to get up from the couch. “Have fun, Em.”

“I bet it’s Mrs. MacGregor,” Maddy laughs, their senile downstairs neighbor constantly coming over to tell them that they were walking too loud and it was disturbing her parrot.

“If it is, you’re buying dinner this weekend,” Emeline calls, hoping their eighty something year old neighbor wasn’t on the other side of the door. “Oh, hi.”

Two guys she was sure she had never seen in the building before were standing in front of her, practically towering over her. “Your music is kind of loud,” one of them says, his cheeks turning red, shoving his hands in his pockets like he was afraid to tell her. There was something about him that she found endearing. His beard was a different shade than the rest of his hair, adding to his charm, the nervous shake of his voice making her wish she met him in a different circumstance. If she wasn’t in a ‘murder everyone’ type of mood, she would have actually wanted to be nice to him. 

“No, it is loud,” the other says, clearly not amused with his friend trying to sugarcoat the subject as Emeline makes a face at them. There was something about them that made her briefly think that they were brothers, cousins, some sort of genetic relationship had to exist between them. Either that or they were both just guys with brown hair and she was too tired to comprehend anything else.

“I know.” The shorter her answers, the shorter their conversation, right?

“Who is it?” she hears Fran calling from her chair. Emeline can picture the smug faces they had as they hoped it was Emeline who had to deal with Mrs. MacGregor and not them.

“People telling us your music is too loud.” 

“Tell them to come in and say it to our faces.” 

Emeline rolls her eyes at her roommates' antics, gesturing to the strangers to come in despite not knowing who they are or why they were in their building in the first place. “They could be murders that you’re inviting in,” she points out.

“We aren’t murderers,” the nervous one says to her before turning to Fran and Maddy once she leads them into their living room. “We aren’t murderers.”

“We just got back from a trip that was way too long. We’re eating dinner and then going to bed, but we can’t do that if the music is too loud,” the other one says. 

Maddy scoffs, finally turning the music low enough that Emeline can finally think without the music interrupting her thoughts. “Who are you, anyway?”

“Murderers,” Emeline mumbles, reclaiming her spot back on the couch.

“We’re your neighbors. I’m John, this is Jeremy.”  

“Well, John, Jeremy,” Fran starts, leaning forward on her chair, “We were just about to order pizza. Want to join us?”

Emeline glares at Fran. She knows what a long day means for Emeline’s social battery. She knows that there is nothing more that Emeline wants than to go to her room and go to bed, Keelan coming over or not. 

The nervous one, Jeremy, starts to stammer. “Uh, no, it’s fine. She doesn’t really look like she’s in the mood for company, we don’t want to bother you.”

“If you’re buying, I’ll eat,” John shrugs, plopping down on the floor next to Maddy as she hands him her phone to put in what he wants. 

“Johnny, we can’t.”

“Emeline is fine. She’s just grumpy,” Fran mocks her. Emeline throws the pillow at her, silently wishing she had something harder. “Exhibit A.”

“It’s been a long day.” 

“Ours was longer,” John counters.

“It’s not a competition,” she shoots back. Before they can say anything else, she gets up, leaving the four of them in the living room. She didn’t need this. Her room was calling. Her sweatpants and sweatshirt were on her bed waiting to be changed into. 

Someone knocks at her door just as she pulls the sweatshirt over her head. She really wasn’t in the mood for Fran to just barge in like she did. “Can you at least be nice to them for like, an hour? They’re cute. And Jeremy seems to be nervous around you,” Fran tells her in a sing-songy voice. 

“So?”

“He likes you.”

Emeline scoffs, tying the strings on her hoodie just the way she likes them. “He just met me.” 

“He said he’s seen you around the building and he’s been wanting to talk to you.”

“So he’s a stalker. How does that get brought up in the less than five minutes I’ve been in here, anyway?”

“Jesus, Emeline. Not everyone is looking to commit a felony.” Emeline avoids looking at her roommate, really just wanting to be left alone. “The pizza is gonna be here soon, the guys are nice, and I’ll even be nice to Keelan when he comes if you come back.” 

“You’re annoying.”

“And you love me, anyway,” Fran tells her, throwing her arm around Emeline and dragging her back out to the living room, finding Jeremy on the couch still looking nervous when she comes back.

Emeline sits down on the other end of the couch, tucking her feet under her. She tries not to stare at the two of them in their apartment, but Fran was right, they are cute. John looks a little younger than the three of them, but Jeremy is about the same age, she guessed. There was something familiar about both of them, though. 

“So, uh, Emeline,” Jeremy starts, not making eye contact with Emeline. “Fran and Maddy said that you’re a teacher?” 

“She teaches chemistry.” 

“I can speak for myself, you know,” Emeline tells Maddy. 

“Not according to that one guy,” Fran points out, she and Maddy exchanging knowing looks about the one coworker that Emeline hated talking about the most just as her phone vibrates.

Her roommates really did forget that she can order sulfuric acid with a few clicks of a button on her computer.

“Should we ask?” John asks, noticing the scowl that was forming on Emeline’s face.

She rolls her eyes, knowing that thanks to her roommates, these guys would find out anyway, checking her phone and groaning, throwing it to the side. She was outside contract hours, he couldn’t make her work. “My department head is a dick. He takes my lessons and my labs and passes them as his own because he claims his ‘department head duties take up so much of his time he can’t plan on his own.’ He just texted me asking what I was teaching to college-prep so we’re ‘on the same page.’” 

“Do you think he’s the one who took apart the lab you set up yesterday?” Maddy asks, Emeline noticing she stole a glance of Johnny while saying it.

“Either him or our custodial staff thought some of it was actual garbage so they threw it out,” she shrugs. “Which, reminds me, I have to order more filter paper tomorrow, remind me to do that.”

Fran and Maddy exchange looks, both of them knowing that they were going to forget to tell her, scrambling for their phones to put a reminder in for themselves.

“That sucks,” is all Jeremy can add, still not looking at her.

Emeline shrugs, her phone buzzing beside her, probably another text from Anderson. “Eh, I have some of the guys in the department who try to stick up for me, and my students seem to like me, so who cares?” 

“One thing you’ll learn about Em is that part of being a teacher is that she can never check out from being one,” Maddy explains, Johnny being the one to steal a glance at her this time. “It’s constant.” 

Fran, Maddy and John fall into conversation, Emeline trying to process that even though she knew it was true, while Jeremy just sat there awkwardly on the couch next to her not saying a word. Emeline was getting more tired by the minute, and Jeremy was still too nervous to say anything to her.

“You left the door unlocked again,” they hear, interrupting their conversation. Fran and Maddy roll their eyes, Emeline’s anxiety growing suddenly as Keelan lets himself into their apartment. “Do you know how many people could just walk by and rob you when you do that? I’ve told you not to -oh, hi.” Keelan stands there, clearly expecting to only lecture the girls about their door. His face turns red, a cup from Dunkin in his hands.

“Keel, this is Jeremy and John, they’re our neighbors,” Emeline explains as he walks over to her, kissing the top of her head and handing her the drink. Emeline took a sip, grimacing at the tea he had brought her, way too sweet for her own taste despite the fact that she had told him multiple times she didn’t like sugar in her coffee or tea.

“Huh, it’s like a triple date,” he says, leaving to drop his bag in Emeline’s room, the three girls exchanging equally confused glances. 

“He really had to come tonight?” Fran whispers. 

“He’s staying over, isn’t he?”

“Yes, and yes, stop it. You knew he was coming. You said you would be nice to him.”

“I said I would be nice to him, not about him.”  

John and Jeremy sit there in awe, trying to figure out what they had just walked into. Before her roommates could protest more, Keelan comes back, sweatpants and sweatshirt on just like Emeline. Both were wearing Boston College lacrosse gear, Emeline definitely changing into the old gear because it was comfortable after what had been a day from hell, Keelan only pulling it out because the guys were there, despite the word ‘club’ written on the breast of his sweatshirt being the noticeable difference between their clothes. That didn’t matter to Keelan in the moment; Emeline didn’t even have to ask, she knew he never wore that sweatshirt unless he felt threatened by something.

“Did either of you play lacrosse?” Jeremy asks, trying to break the awkwardness.

Keelan puts his arm around Emeline, pulling her close to him faster than she was expecting. “We both did, actually. That’s how we meet.” 

“At BC?”

“We all went to Boston College, we all played lacrosse. Three of us did all four years, too, on an actual varsity team, not the club team,” Fran snides, a not so subtle dig at Keelan, causing him to roll his eyes and hold Emeline almost uncomfortably close. 

“That’s because there’s only a club team for men. For some reason, the AD decided the women having a team was more important despite you losing in the championship three years in a row,” Keelan tries to counter, only earning an eyebrow raise from Fran who was, without a doubt, about to say something much worse to him. 

“We only lost twice and won the championship our senior year,” Fran corrected him. “BC hasn’t had a varsity lacrosse team for men since 2002. If you wanted varsity, you should have went to BU.”

“What time is the pizza getting here, Mads?” Emeline changes the subject before the dick measuring contest between her boyfriend and her roommate somehow ends with her roommate winning. Fran was, as usual in her verbal sparring against Keelan, remaining calm, while Keelan himself was two seconds from saying something that would result in him getting kicked out of their apartment permanently. 

“Oh, I didn’t know you were ordering pizza,” Keelan snides.

This was awful. This was the last thing Emeline wanted to deal with when she got home. If she went to her room, then Fran or Keelan would just follow her. As soon as the pizza was there, all she wanted to do was eat it as fast as possible and run away to her room. She needed peace. She wanted quiet. 

“I’m getting a drink, who wants something?” Emeline asks, wriggling free of Keelan’s grip and heading off to the kitchen with the practically full tea still in her hands. Emeline sighed, leaning against the counter with her eyes closed. It was already pushing 9:30 pm, half an hour from when Emeline normally went to bed happily since she had to wake up to take her train way earlier than she would like to every morning. 

“Hey,” Jeremy startles her, causing her to bump her hip harder against the cabinet, making her wince at the pain that would definitely turn into a bruise. “Sorry, we can go if you really don’t want us here. We just wanted the music to be a little quieter.” 

Emeline sighs, knowing that she was acting like a bitch. “No, it’s fine. It was just a long day that was part of a longer week. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize,” Jeremy says, quietly. He shrugs. “It happens to all of us.”

Emeline looks at Jeremy, her entire being feeling calmer with him standing there for whatever reason. “Thanks.”

Jeremy swallows, clearing his throat. “Uh, the pizza should be here any minute. If you want, you can just take it to your room instead of staying out with us,” he tells her, somehow reading her mind, “I don’t think any of us would mind. Well, Fran seems like someone who might.”

Emeline can’t help but laugh. “She means well.”

“She seems to want what’s best for you. And for Maddy. I can respect that.” 

“She’s very protective, that’s for sure,” Emeline says, throwing out the tea and grabbing a glass of water. Without asking, she pours one for Jeremy, him taking it and smiling at her, sending a shiver down her spine that she didn’t quite know how to process. Fran had been there for her and Maddy’s darkest moments during college, which sounds dramatic, but she really was the first person either of them wanted to call if something was going wrong. She just cared, probably a little more intensely than either of them asked for. 

 The two of them go back into the living room without saying anything else, glasses in hand. The pizza had arrived, Maddy and Johnny passing them around, reading off everyone’s order. 

“Why’d you order me this?” Keelan asks when Emeline sits down, box in hand as Maddy  passes off the last two to her and Jeremy.

“You always get the honey barbeque chicken one,” Emeline points out, opening up her box, her favorite pizza making her suddenly excited. She didn’t realize how hungry she was, or remember the fact that she hadn’t eaten since her lunch at 11 that morning. 

“Yeah, you have made a very big deal about how you always get that one pizza, because it’s your favorite,” Maddy continues, spraying bits of her own pizza everywhere. 

“You’re a creature of habit, as you love to say,” Fran deadpans, not looking away from her own food. 

“I don’t want this. What did you get, Emmy?” 

Emeline freezes with her mouth open as she was bringing a slice to her mouth, already knowing where this conversation was going to end up. She tried to ignore Fran mouthing ‘Emmy,’ to Maddy, mocking the nickname Emeline admittedly hated that Keelan always used for her. “The White Greek pizza.” 

“It’s fine, we can just switch.” 

“But,” she starts, looking at her own pizza. “I don’t like barbeque. You know that.”

“Yeah, but I don’t want this.” 

The two of them stare at each other for a minute, Emeline’s mind trying to process the fact that Keelan even had the audacity to ask her to eat his pizza when he knew she detested the entire thing. They were nice enough to buy him a pizza, a surprise that he wasn’t expecting, and here he was, demanding that she give him hers? She had called him on the way home and told him all about her day and what happened, and now he was adding to it? “Take mine.” Both of them turn to Jeremy, him already holding his box out for Keelan. “I thought I ordered the barbeque one anyway, not the buffalo one, it was my mistake.” 

“Hey, thanks, man,” Keelan says, all too happy to take the pizza from someone he just met. 

Fran, Maddy, and John start to have a conversation, tuning out the three of them on the couch. Not that they were saying anything. Emeline was too mad to eat the entire thing, only picking off the olives instead. Jeremy was trying his best not to cringe at the overly sweet pizza that he had never had any intention of ordering. Keelan just existing at that moment was enough to make Emeline irritated.

“You know what,” Emeline says, closing the box of pizza, all five of them startled and suddenly turning towards her. “I think I’m going to turn in.”

“Are you sure?” Jeremy asks, a sound of panic in his voice.

“Yeah, I mean, I’m tired, I have to wake up early and I have another long day tomorrow, anyway.” Emeline leaves before anyone can protest.

The five of them watch Emeline leave, Fran and Maddy sending death glares at Keelan. 

“Why must you have the personality of a guy who’s had back pain his entire life? What is wrong with you?,” Fran scolds him, throwing a napkin at him.

“What kind of insult even is that?”

“‘I don’t want this,’” Maddy mimics in a high pitched voice. “What adult talks like that?”

“Go apologize to her or I’m going to shove my foot so far up your ass you’re going to taste that instead of the pizza you took from Jeremy,” Fran threatens.

“I offered it to him,” Jeremy tries to diffuse the situation.

“You love buffalo chicken though. Linus has fed you buffalo wings in the locker room before,” John points out.

“We’re going to talk about that in a second,” Maddy starts, “but Keelan, come on. You know how stressful this time when lacrosse starts back up for her. You could have just taken the pizza she was nice enough to order for you.” 

“I knew I should have let you starve.” 

Keelan huffs, putting the pizza down on the table in front of them. He knocks on the door to Emeline’s room, not waiting for her to invite him in since the lights were already off. He sees her in the dark, lying on her back scrolling on her phone. “I’m a dick.”

“I know.” 

He sits down on the bed next to her. “I’m sorry.” 

“For?” she asks, treating him like one of her students.

Keelan sighs, lying down. “How long have you known Jeremy?”

“I met him like an hour before you got here.”

“He was the guy in the elevator.”

Emeline groans. “I thought we were past this.”

“Well.”

“Well?”

“Well, he likes you, Em.” Emeline can’t help but scoff. “I mean, I obviously can’t blame him. But, Em, he hasn’t taken his eyes off you the entire time he’s been here. He didn’t take his eyes off you in the elevator either. John even said Jeremy had mentioned that he’s been wanting to talk to you.”

“Oh, for fucks sake,” she groans again, putting her phone on her stomach and covering her face with her hands. “So what? That doesn’t mean he likes me, it means he’s kind of a creep. And if he does, what does it matter?” 

“I’m afraid.”

Emeline reaches over to turn the lamp on, wanting to get a look at Keelan for this, this confirmation she was waiting for. She studies his face as he stares up at her ceiling fan. “Afraid of what?”

“What if I lose you?” 

Emeline lets out a little laugh. “To Jeremy? Please.” She rests her head on his chest, Keelan wrapping his arm around her and kissing her forehead. “At most, he can be a friend. Just like Jack. Just like Marc,” she says, referencing his college teammates.

“Jack and Marc didn’t so obviously like you.”

“Jack and Marc both tried to hook up with me multiple times during college.”

Keelan sighs, pulling her closer. “Just a friend?”

“Just a friend.”

[yooglefics]

The casual type: 04 . The plans change

Pairing: Min Yoongi x fem!reader Wordcount: 4,832 words Genre ( for the whole series ): AU. College!verse. Strangers to friends with benefits to ???. Eventual smut. Hurt / comfort at times. Fluff for cute friends. Summary:  ( Series ) • Hobi and his girlfriend set you up with a friend of hers to help with whatever happened months back. However, no one really expected things to end the way they did. ( Ep. 04 ) • The night wasn't supposed to go like this, but there's nothing to complain about. Well, maybe a little. Warnings under read more.

Warnings ( for this ep ): The squad being annoying ( I <3 them ). Pet names ( princess , baby , doll ). Flirting. Making out. Grinding. Fingering. ( wash your hands, folks ). Yoongi's hands should be a warning. 1,1714 words of just smut and I literally don’t know how that happened lol. Author's note: The plans for this chapter also changed a lot because I only had like three notes for it lmao. Nevertheless, I'm excited to share it with all of you, thank you for sticking around and I hope you like this ep. Remember to leave a comment, send an ask, with your thoughts and also maybe reblog, and what not. As always, thank you for reading! <3

“No, the thing is, she doesn't want to share space. That's why,” Jimin accuses you from his position on the couch. Not being good at sharing himself since his whole body is on it.

“That's not true! I just don't want to be around sweaty boys.” 

“As if you don't sweat,” Jungkook argues.

“I don't.”

“She doesn't, she is a princess,” Is Yoongi's turn to pick on you. He called you that before at the club but this time surprises you since is in front of your friends and your relationship with each other has changed. And actually, you're supposed to be keeping that a secret from them.

“I love how she didn't argue that one,” says Jimin, chuckling.

“Because I am, duh.” You do an exaggerated flip of your ponytail while turning around, carrying another box of kitchenware to put away.

The guys finally decided to rent a house all together, and to make up for the fact that you refused to leave your dorm and follow them, you offered to help organize and decorate because, at the end of everything, you'd probably be spending a lot of time here. 

“You should have moved in with us,” You hear Hobi tell Yoongi after bringing more boxes inside the house. “Did you find a place?” 

“Yes, one of my classmates and his roommates were looking for someone. Is not too far away from here, actually.”

“That's cool. You guys can come over whenever.”

“You should come to the party tonight!” Taehyung says excitedly.

“Tonight?!” You walk out of the kitchen, a couple of glasses in your hands. “You're not even done downloading the truck. Jimin is not even moving!”

“I withdraw my offer for you to move in with us,” says your friend. “She is more like an evil step-sister,” he murmurs to Yoongi and he laughs along with everyone else.

“I hate you all.” 

Storming back into the kitchen, you decide to focus on putting everything away. Not a single thing that can be broken in sight of future drunk guests, that's why you are struggling to put mugs on cupboards you can barely reach.

“Do you need help, princess?” 

The nickname makes you almost drop Tae's last birthday present, and Yoongi is right there to catch you both. “Careful,” he says.

“Is your fault.”

“Did I scare you?” he chuckles, “Sorry.”

“You keep scaring me when you call me that,” you whisper.

“What? You don't like it?” Confused look on his face when he turns to you after putting the mug in place.

“I–why do you call me that?”

“Because sometimes you get kinda grumpy and you're cute, like a princess.”

It makes you smile, and it matches the one on his face.

“I'm going to ignore the fact that you called me grumpy,” you pretend to be upset about it, scrunching up your lips in fake dislike.

“Yeah, focus on the fact that you're cute.” you blush and he uses the excuse of grabbing another mug to get closer, making it so if you lean in a little you could steal a peck. 

But you still aren't sure about how the whole friends with benefits thing works. Nor confident enough to make a decision before Jungkook announces through the house: “the truck is empty, told you we could do it!”

And soon enough Yoongi is out of the room, helping move boxes here and there, and after everything that doesn't belong in the living room is out of it, he finally sits with you and Jimin on the sofa, you in the middle of the two.

“Are you really having a party today?” Yoongi asks.

“Of course! We have to baptize the place.”

“That sounds gross.” You say, noise scrunched.

“You're gross. That's not very princess-y of you,” says Jimin and Yoongi laughs.

“I feel gross, I'm going home to change. Do you want me to give you a ride to the dorms?”

“Yes, please!” 

You have thought about going alone, but after your failed kiss in the kitchen you wanted at least some time alone, and a car drive should be just enough. 

Or perhaps not. 

Because Yoongi drops you at your dorm and goes home to change, refusing to get close to you when he is all sweaty. 

You hit send with one hand and with the other make sure your door is open before sitting once again on the bed, grabbing your mirror and eyeliner to continue your routine.

“Hello?” He knocks a few times and you tell him to come in, all concentration on the task at hand. And that gives him time to look around a little, taking in your space. 

Is a large room, just looking a bit cramped thanks to the big pieces of furniture ( two beds, two dressers, and two desks ) but your method of putting everything against the walls definitely helps. That, and the fact that your roommate hasn't moved in yet. “Now I understand why you didn't want to move in with them. You have a room all for yourself?”

You laugh, “Their office was gonna be my room, actually. And no, this year I'm supposed to share it.”

“You didn't last year?”

“At the beginning I did. But then she paired with someone else.” You shrug, not sure about the details since you've only known her for a couple of weeks. “But it's not as cool as everyone thinks, sometimes it gets lonely, mostly on exam weeks when everyone is busy studying.”

“Well, you can invite me anytime.” He only partially jokes.

“Deal. But you've to bring snacks.” 

“Deal.”

Yoongi sits on your bed while waiting, scrolling on his phone and every now and then looking up to watch you apply the rest of your makeup, then perfume and pick a jacket, until you are standing in front of him with a smile as you announce you're ready. 

“That was faster than I thought,” he says, standing up. “Your eyes do look cute with the sparkle eyeshadow. Bogum was right.” 

“Oh, don't remember me that. I think that's the last time he is going to talk to me,” a sigh follows the exaggeration. 

“If he is really interested he is going to try again.”

“And if he is not?”

“Then he's not worth it.” The confidence in his voice is as contagious as his smile, and you match it.

For a second you wonder if it should be weird to talk about this with the guy you made out with just yesterday. If this is just normal encouragement because you are becoming friends or do all friends with benefits have this type of conversation?. Either way, you are glad to have someone to talk to about your little crush, and so, decide to not give it too much thought if Yoongi doesn't seem to do it either.

When he first asked you about it on Wednesday it was out of curiosity and you returned the phrase about the cat's tragic ending, receiving a “Well, I guess we are confidants now, kitten.”

You gave him a rundown of the situation and confessed about having a little bit of hope for his now teammate to invite you out again. He wished you the best and told you to let him know if something does happen because, according to him, Bo doesn't seem like the guy to be into sharing, and so, Yoongi doesn't want to be in the way.

“Maybe you should talk to him tonight. He is going, isn't he?”

“Uh, not sure. I asked Kook but I don't think he saw my text.” you turn to grab your phone and check.

But before you can open the app, Yoongi grabs your shoulders and guides you out the door, “Or we can just drive there and see.” 

You're surprised to see the motorcycle in the parking lot, thinking it had been just a thing of last week since you haven't seen him use it since then. You even wondered if it was his in the first place.

“What? Are you scared now?” He teases when you don't take the helmet he is holding in your direction. Just standing there without any movement. “You know I'm a good driver.”

“Yeah, I just… didn't expect it.”

He laughs at your genuine shock before explaining, “I always take it to parties because it's easier to find parking and get out of there whenever I want to.” 

“And I'm sure girls love it, too.”

“That's a plus,” He nods with a smirk, “but don't worry, baby, I’m not making you share tonight.”

“Shut up,” with your nose scrunched for good measure, you finally take the helmet from him. But instead of grabbing his own and getting ready, he gets closer to you, brushing your fingers with his when you're going to secure it and doing it for you instead.

“You tell me that a lot, you know.”

“You talk too much,” you defend, “it's your own fault.”

“Or… you just want to kiss me.”

Glad your smile is hidden by the helmet,  you push him a bit as you answer, "Actually, shut up.”

He laughs, and then goes on to put on and secure his helmet before claiming on the motorcycle and waiting for you. 

The shock about the vehicle wasn't only pure confusion, it was also the realization that your outfit was probably not the best choice. The fabric of your skirt was flowier than the one you used last time, and you aren't sure it would do well at a fast speed.

“Don't go too fast,” you ask him, hands on his shoulders to help you get on and sit behind him.

“I don't get that a lot,” he jokes, and you roll your eyes still fussing with your clothes. “You ready?” he waits for your signal before revving up the engine. 

He drives faster than last time. Or maybe you're just sober and more scared about it all. Your legs tighten on his sides, and your arms around his middle, all the while telling yourself is only to protect the wind from stealing your dignity. When he stops, you have to open your eyes to realize it is because of a red light and your body relaxes. 

Left hand leaves the throttle and goes to your tight, closer to your knee, the coldness of his fingers makes you jump and you feel him chuckle before caressing your skin. “You okay?” he asks loud enough to be heard through the street noises and your covered ears. You nod between his shoulder blades, even if your heart is racing. 

Remembering you had felt your phone ringing in your jacket pocket indicating a few texts, you figure there's enough time to check them before the light changes.

You show Yoongi and he gives you a thumbs down, making you laugh. Oh, well. Maybe it just wasn't made to be.

Thinking he would just drive you back to your dorm, you're surprised when he doesn't take the next turn back — is he driving to another party?

The answer comes only when he takes a turn before entering the highway. Right to the top of The Hill. Every teenager destination to run away from their problems. Every horny couple with a low budget looking for privacy, which yes, in itself destroys that very purpose. But, this is not a place to think about too much, even if there are also people who come here to think, like Yoongi.

He turns the engine off, puts down the stand, and takes off his helmet. You follow behind, curious.

“I figured we should make something out of being outside right now, the sun is about to set.” He looks at his watch and then to the front, at the view. From here you can see the city from above, at least a big part of it. Including the mountains and skylines.

“C’mon,” he pats your tight twice, asking you to get down. Complying, you use his shoulders for support again and get closer to the barricade at the edge. 

“C'mon,” you throw back to him when he doesn't follow you.

“I can see it from here.”

You frown at him, “really?” He nods. Your head tilts slightly to the side, “reeeally?” 

“Let a guy be.”

He looks… weird. 

And, suddenly, it clicks.

“I can't believe it.” You walk back to him, “Are you afraid of heights?!” 

“Don't make fun of me.” 

“I'm not!” But in fact you're fighting back a smile, “is just… unexpected.”

“Yeah. Unlike the death from falling from here to who knows where.” He reasons and you can't really argue with that.

But you can argue with him moving closer.

Grabbing his hand and pulling, amazed when you manage a few steps without problem, but soon he puts strength into it. The abrupt stop of his body pulls yours back, bringing you close to his chest, making a surprise noise cross your lips and your triumphant smile is gone.

“Don't make me leave you here,” and for a second you wonder if he really would. Wonder how much you can push before he actually gets mad. “Look!”

Your eyes stop scanning his face, following the direction he is looking at and you catch the sky changing colors for the next few minutes. Blue. Orange. Pink. Purple. Dark blue, because the lights of the city start to appear avoiding the complete darkness. But from here, you can see more stars than from your room's window and everything seems kind of infinity.

“Wow…” is a bit lame and predictable, but what else is there to say?

“Yeah. Is beautiful.” He agrees, hand finally letting go of yours and moving to your shoulder, “and you didn't have to stand at the line of death to see it.”

“So dramatic.” With an eye roll you turn to him. He appears calmer, with a smile playing on his lips as he keeps looking at the sky.

“What?” he asks.

You're in his room now, sitting on the bed Yoongi just told you he had to buy a mattress for because he used to dorm at his last university and didn't own one. You make no promises of not spilling any of your slushie on it and he laughs, tells you he will not forgive you and both of you know it’s not true. 

Going back to your room isn't a priority right now, you're having a good time talking about random things and siping your sugary drinks with a big bag of chips between the two. You were nervous about his roommates because apparently they are older and that scares you for some reason, but he reassures you they are busy with their own thing and he can drive you back before they arrive.

“Nothing.” But your eyes are still on his lips, on the color they are tinted thanks to the red drinks, “do you like it?”

“Is not bad. I prefer blueberry, though.” 

“I think this one is better,” you said that before at the store when you stopped for gas, convincing him to try it.

“Of course you think so, you love cherry things. I'd not be surprised if your favorite color is red just because of it.”

“How do you know that?” is surprising he says it with such security.

“It is?”

“No. I mean, yes,” you backtrack, “but how do you know that I love cherry things? Did the matchmakers tell you that?”

“Mai and Hobi?

You nod, too curious of his answer you miss the way his eyes are following your lips as they wrap around the straw.

“No. But you always have cherry candy with you. You gave us cherry lollipops on tuesday. I asked you for gum the other day and you gave me cherry. Jungkook gets you cherry cola specifically, from the vending machine at our building. And,” he pauses his list, the corner of his lip curving up, “like four out of the five times we've kissed, you either test or smell like cherry. Or both.”

“Well,” you answer after a couple seconds of silence, “I'm conscious now.”

He laughs, and you drink again.

“Don't be. Is like… your touch.”

“Ew,” noise scrunched up, “I don't know if I want that. Am I going to be known as the cherry girl?”

Again he laughs, your horrified expression making it impossible not to. 

“Do I smell like it right now?” Bringing your arm to your nose, you try smelling your clothes. Then your hair. 

“Stop,” he asks, reaching to put strains of hair back into place. “You smell good. Forget I said anything.”

“No, I can't. Now it’s in my head.” You try smelling your other arm, almost spilling your drink.

“Okay,” he catches it in time, tilting your hand back completely upright, “that way you really are going to taste like cherry and leave a trace behind.” 

“Wait. Do I really taste like it? When you kiss me, does it bother you?” 

“Why are you freaking out about this?” And seeing your seriousness, he bites back his chuckles.

“Just answer the question.”

“Okay, okay. Let's see,” and before you can process it, his lips are on yours, and he hums. “Can’t tell.” And he goes in again, free hand to the back of your head to bring you forward, to really capture your lips with his.

Running his tongue over your bottom lip sends shivers through your body since it’s warmer, softer. And a small moan escapes your lips, separating them and letting his tongue in. 

You're scared to move. Not because of him. But because you have been wanting to kiss him since sitting down — heck, since this morning — but didn't know how. All this feels so complicated in your head, with rules you have to follow and what not, but in practice, he makes it look so much easier. 

Of course you can't pull him for a kiss in your friends’ house, that is too risky. But when he kisses you like this, it gives you confidence to at least ask him to do it whenever you're alone and feel like it.

Somehow your hand is on his neck, fingers running through the hair at his nape as your mouths keep their rhythm going. And you decide to take the risk, kneeling on the bed and moving closer to him. You separate for a second only to make sure you're not making a mess and he smiles at you, “give me that.” Sipping one last time at the slushie, you give it to him to be secured and abandoned on his nightstand, bag of chips moves next and now his hands are free to pull you into his lap by your waist.

“You haven't answered the question,” you tell him, hands cupping his face, “Or you just wanted to kiss me?”

“Stop stealing my lines.”

“Is that a no?” You pretend to pull back and his hold tightness.

“You want me to say it?” a nod is your answer, and is a bit surprising when he obeys. “Yes. I wanted to kiss you,” and he does, making his point clear. “And also yes, you test like cherry sometimes,” another peck, “is sweeter now, but not so much like when is from your candies,” his voice gets lower each time, practically a whisper, “and your lips look amazing tinted red, I want to kiss you every time.”

And you make it happen. Kissing him softer this time, setting your own peace. Yoongi goes with it at first, but those thoughts he doesn't share with you are hard to keep on track when your hips grind against his. Not helping with the situation in his jeans. 

His hands hold you firmly, stopping your movements, and his lips move faster, fighting for dominance. He wants you and you know it and it gives you the confidence to move again. At first it was involuntarily, your body's own reaction to him, but then you put force into it, mostly to go against his hold. He groans into your mouth, feeling it rumble against your chest. 

Pushing his shoulders back, Yoongi finally gives in and lets go of your hips in order to help himself up with an arm behind him, other hand on your thigh. His eyes travel from there to your chest, moving as fast as his with your breathing, to your face, bottom lip between your teeth and his tongue touches his own in the same place. You just sit there, looking at each other for a few seconds until his hand moves up your leg, dragging the fabric of the skirt along. But he stops mid way, going back down. He chuckles at your reaction of puffing air as a sign of deception, “what's that?”

Prying your eyes from his hand is difficult, but you look at his face, smirk in place as he moves again, fingertips glassing over soft skin. “I should make you do it too,” he teases, “make you tell me what you think and what you want.”

The idea is both terrifying and a turn on at the same time. You have never vocally asked for anything like that, but the tone of his voice, the raspiness, it intoxicates you so much you may be willing to try.

“But I'm not mean like you, baby.” In one swift movement his hand is up your leg again, grabbing your butt and making your skirt rail up, exposing more of your thigh and you gasp as he bucks his hips upward.

“I’m not mean,” you breathe. 

“No?” Head tilts to the side, that playful smile of his should be a crime. “Are you a good girl?”

“I hate you.”

“So we are dirty talking,” he nods and you roll your eyes with a chuckle.

It hasn't been long, but you really like what you guys have. Is easy. Without drama or feelings being hurt. And, being completely honest, the way he kisses you is enough to know you make the right decision.

Do you still believe in soulmates and want to meet yours and live happily ever after like all the love stories you have consumed throughout your life? Yes. But maybe your story can also include an arc of exploring your sexuality with someone who is just a friend. Someone who gets your jokes and trusts you too. Someone who kisses you sooo good it takes your breath away without having to be scared of the future and what-ifs. 

Someone whose fingertips brush the top of your inner thighs, so close to their goal, but nothing more because he is waiting for you. Although it’s hard because of the little sounds that keep flowing out of your throat as you start moving your hips on his lap, grinding on his hardening erection.

He is kissing your neck, sucking here and there but not hard enough to leave marks, and his other hand has made its way down your t-shirt, looking for that skin to skin contact, glad both of your guys' jackets were abandoned way before at his bedroom’s entrance. 

“Tell me to stop and I'll,” Yoongi reminds against your skin and you nod, the hand under your skirt finally moving from its place and you miss the warmth it provided. But his fingers reach for the waistband of your panties and your breath hatch a little as they move south, thumb brushing over your clothed pussy. “Fuck.” 

You moan. At the touch, at his reaction to feeling you're wet. And before you can feel conscious about it, he is rubbing circles over it. “Ahh…”

“So responsive,” he groans, “Does it feel good?” 

You nod, unable to form words as he pushes gently over on your center, making your body move towards him, looking for more. And he gives it to you by sneaking his hand under your panties, ring finger sliding between your folds, a groan of his own accompanying your whimpers as he truly feels how wet you're.

“F-fuck. You feel so soft,” Yoongi points out and it makes a shiver run down your body, while he keeps rubbing expertly, cupping your pussy when even without realizing your hips start moving again, looking for more friction.

“Y-yoongi,” you call, asking for more. 

For a second you think he doesn't get it because he takes his hand out, however is only to bring his ring and middle finger to his mouth, humming around them without breaking eye contact. Brown irises over taken by desire and you could've gotten lost on that look alone, but soon his hand goes back to its place between your legs, “Breathe,” he instructs, “tell me if it hurts.”

And it does, a little. Because you're not used to it and every touch is a bit overwhelming, all the same, he is gentle, one finger pushing in slowly and not all the way before going back. Your eyes close under his gaze, inspecting your reaction as he pushes in again, letting you get used to the feeling. 

“Is it good?” his lips go back to your neck, kissing his way up to your lips. 

“S-so good,” you smile against his mouth, “you can go on.”

And he moans against yours before adding another one, two digits inside you.

The thing about Yoongi is: he is a pleaser. He likes making his partners feel good and the way your lips part as he pushes into your pussy makes him weak. He knows that if you asked him to finger you all night he would, no questions asked.

But he also knows you don't have much time. That's why you are still sitting on his lap and not laying on his bed, and why he kept your clothes on even if is now regretting it.

His eyes travel down your body, to your hand in a fist with the fabric of your clothes. “Pull it up, doll.” Yoongi requests. “Your skirt. Let me see you.” 

You do, the carmine color on your cheeks even deeper as your sight is filled with his hand movements. 

“...so hot, taking my fingers so good.” He murmurs, hand on your lower back holding you in place as he picks up the peace. Feeling how your walls tighten around him every time he pushes in and his dick requests attention at the thought of fucking you properly. If only he had time.

“Fuck, fuck, fuc-” is your new mantra as his fingers move expertly, breaking into incohesive moans when they touch the bundle of muscle that makes you see stars. 

“I got you,” he says, “f-fuck, so pretty, baby.” Yoongi's voice is so gentle and still filled with lust as he whispers sweet nothings in your ear, getting you closer and closer to the end. “C’mon, let me see you cum, y/n.”

And that's all you need, hear your name so out of breath, to practically hit your orgasm on command. Head tilted back and lip between your teeth to suppress any noises, ignoring the voice of reason in your head that tells you is a bit late for that.

When you open your eyes again Yoongi's fingers are back in his mouth, sucking yourself off of them, and even if you just reached your high, you can't help the way your pussy reacts to that.

Catching you staring, he winks at you. 

And before you can decide the next move, your ringtone fills the silence, almost making you jump out of his lap. He chuckles, “Careful,” freeing you from his hands as you reach for your phone.

“Yes?” You answer, free hand fixing your clothes and putting black strains in place, trying to shake the feeling of being caught.

“Hi. Sorry about the time, my flight got canceled and then the next one took hours and—” taking the phone away from your ear, you realize that in the heat of the moment you didn't even notice it was an unknown number and not one of the guys. You're about to say they probably got the wrong number but the person keeps talking and it feels rude to just cut them off. “...but I'll have to wait until tomorrow. So apparently you're the only one with a key now and they said you were here but I knocked and well, I don't know if you were sleeping or…?” 

It takes you a second to process they do want you to talk now. “Sorry. I don't think I'm who you're looking for.”

“Are you not y/n?”

“Yes…” you turn to Yoongi, confused expression matching yours. “Who are you?”

“Oh, shit. I forgot to introduce myself, didn't I?” You nod even if it can't be seen through the phone, “I'm Subin. Your new roommate.”

A/N: AAAAAAHHHHHH pls don't call Subin a cockblocker ㅠ^ㅠ even if she would call herself that if she knew hahah. A/N 2: ALSO, I decided to try something new with the format of showing the texting, so please tell me your opinion, do you like it as screenshots or prefer it to be typed down? or is the same either way? Send a tip on ko-fi?? ( Only if you can and don't feel pressured to do it! )

♡ Tag list: @n33mesis , @mggv97 , @wobblewobble822 , @bbou-doir , @m00njinnie , @nariee02 , @sexytholland , @itsmina29 , @ktownshizzle , @take-u-2-an0ther-w0r1d , @kimtaehussy .

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[yowyowyaoi]

Itachi’s Daily Texts from the Akatsuki

From Konan

Nobody eats until you come out and eat with us 😤

Thank you! You’re the only one who even noticed 💙

You need to do a better job of hiding that kitten lol  it pushed open your door and walked down the hallway again

Of course! You know where I keep it you don’t even have to ask 😊

I know I’ve spoken to Nagato about them he’ll handle it

You have GOT to come try this new massage chair I got it’s heaven 😌

From Deidara

Come on I was just kidding!!

Please call him off if he bites off my hand again Sasori said he won’t replace it 😔

Sharingan is not art it’s dirty cheating 

The counter is covered with plates of eggs, did you do that weird sleepwalking thing again?!

Me and Hidan and maybe Tobi. Come on take the stick out of your ass and just come with us!

I’ll paint them if you braid my hair first.

Why do you always blame me?? Hidan probably took it!

Omfg I SWEAR I meant that for Sasori!! 😳 Please please don’t show Kisame he’ll kill me 😫

From Zetsu

He’s just so emotional is that an Uchiha trait?

I can literally smell your exhaustion you need to go and rest

Yeah very cute. Be a shame if someone ate it 👀

He was doing fine. Got a lot taller. Looks a lot like you in the face.

No I’m glad you made him leave that dude freaked even ME out 😵‍💫

From “Tobi” aka Obito

Can I borrow your face cream? This mask makes my skin itch like crazy!

God stop it man are you TRYING to speed up going blind?!

Would he take your last name or would you take his? 🤔

No. Never. They think I’m a dumbass, remember?

Little more time in the sun would probably help 🤷🏻‍♂️

“Crushes” are for little kids. And anyway he hates me 😔

I thought about that yeah. Reminded me of your mom’s. She always made the best ones.

I’m not sure of anything kid. But we’re in it too far to back out.

Idk you just looked super pale

Ask Sasori to make you more, they’re helping a little 

Idc what Zetsu says. I can do a lotta shit but cannibalism isn’t one of them 🤢

You think I didn’t see you sneak in that pie? Either share or I’m telling Kisame.

From Nagato

Come and join Konan and I for tea. We’ve got a new blend we think you’ll like.

Permission granted. Just be back within three days, I’ll be sending you two on a mission then.

Thank you for the tips. My eyes feel much better now.

Take your time reading it. When you finish I’d love to discuss some of the themes with you.

I know you dislike meat but perhaps a bit more protein might help improve your stamina.

I don’t mind but do not let Kakuzu see it.

From Hidan

Movies with me and blondie?

Yeah but he’s half-animal right? Still counts, pervert.

PLEASE make the splinters in the ass joke PLEASE I AM BEGGING YOU😭😭😭

If I didn’t take a piece you would have ate the whole fucking thing yourself and your stomach would burst. You’re welcome 😊

No that was definitely Deidara’s gay ass

Mask boy’s looking for you

Oh right like Kisame wouldn’t beat my ass for that 🙄 Nice try asshole

God damn it’s 3am when the FUCK do you sleep?!

We’re not “plotting” anything just come with ffs 🤦‍♂️

It was an accident and I didn’t even look that long don’t tell her she’ll slice me up with that sharp-ass paper 😖

From Kakuzu

You always being on time with your rent is most appreciated.

To be honest I don’t really know. But at this point I’m too far into my feelings for him so this is my life now. 

Getting enough sleep is important. Nagato agrees that a new mattress would be in your best interests. No arguments.

I’ve ripped off his leg and made it clear it won’t be returned until he returns your property to you.

I’ll consult with Sasori and get back to you.

Konan is insisting everyone text you to come down to eat. It’s my turn. Be advised that continued delay will result in one or more of us coming and retrieving you by force.

From Sasori

Please inform me right away if you notice any adverse side effects. I may need to change the medication or adjust the dosage.

Oh, thank you for reminding me. I wouldn’t want a repeat of last year. What sort of gift do you think I should give him?

You’re more than welcome to anytime. You know I don’t sleep.

Finding the correct body is the most difficult part. All that follows is merely routine.

He can be very sensitive. I’m still learning to decipher and appropriately react to his emotions.

May I borrow that book when you’ve finished it?

Heh. That’s actually very funny.

Try not to overdo it. Your chakra levels still haven’t recovered from the last time.

You may want to hurry back. Zetsu has been circling outside your door like an animal and trying to sniff under it. That lock may not hold.

From Kisame

You remembered your meds today right?

Did you eat?

Yeah? I bet I could work out that tension 😏

Cake is not acceptable for every meal, Itachi.

I got a new blanket, very soft. Come test it out with me 💙

I’ll talk to him about it don’t worry.

For God’s sake just TAKE A NAP!

Have fun but watch your back, I don’t trust those two.

Pretty warm out tonight. Midnight swim later? 😏

You left your necklace on my dresser

Leave it there. You’ve already got one illicit pet you don’t need a second.

I’m cooking, you’re eating. No objections.

My hands are craving being in your hair 😔

I did not eat him. Zetsu is a liar.

You got any more pics like that? Please? 👀

I 💙 you too

[danurso]

Sweet retribution

Yang: *kicks door open* Guys! I cracked the code!

Blake: *Reading on her bed* Oh, did you finally learn how to make good jokes?

R___/_NPR: *snort*

Yang: Ha ha, very funny, but you can't improve what's already perfect, can you?

Blake: *rolls eyes*

Ruby: Is that Weiss' cheesecake?

Yang: *with a little bit of cake on hand* . . . . . . .*shoves everything in her mouth* Doesn't matter! I need sugar to think! Now please focus on the matter here!

Ruby: Okay. . . . .what are you talking about then?

Yang: I'm talking about why Weiss is always getting late for stuff and disappearing for no reason!

Pyrrha: But we already know why, she's been overlooking the new SDC filial here in vale, she even registered us so we always get a big discount on anything there.

Yang: Well, that's actually just a front! It's what she wants us to believe she does!

Ruby: And why would she need to do that?

Yang: It's because she's hiding a huuuuuge secret!

Blake: Which is?

Yang: She's dating Jaune!!!

R___/_NPR: . . . . . .pfffhahahahaha

Nora: HAH! Blake, you're such a liar! Her jokes are great!

Yang: Why are you guys laughing!? I'm serious!

Ren: Well, forgive us if we were rude but. . . . .do you really believe that?

Yang: I saw them kissing at the docks yesterday!

Ruby: You mean after you came back pretty late from Junior's?

Yang: Yeah.

Blake: So let me get this straight. You, after a good few hours of drinking, came back when it was quite dark and saw a couple kissing in the distance, and you assumed it to be Jaune and Weiss?

Yang: It was them! It had to be them! I……i was a bit far but i'm sure it was them.

Nora: It would need to be a cooooold day in hell for Ice queen to even think about doing something like that.

Ruby: Yang, you know how much Weiss dislikes Jaune, i really thought they were going to get closer but there's no fixing how much she dislikes him.

Ren: Last time they were on amicable terms was during the previous vale carnival we all went together. . . .that was a year ago.

Blake: The closest I've seen those two lately is when She orders him to carry her things.

Pyrrha: *brows furrowed* He dropped one of her bags a few days ago and she kicked him in the butt. I'm sorry Yang, but I find it quite impossible that they are in such a relationship.

Yang: Well. . . .when you put it like that. . . .*sigh* Maybe I ended up getting one too many.

Weiss: *walks in* Oh good, you're all gathered here, saves me the trouble.

Nora: What's up Ice queen?

Weiss: Professor Goodwitch asked me to warn everyone that the cantina is having a special sweet day. They're serving Cakes, Parfaits, Pies, Pancakes, Cookies-

Ruby/Nora: *Zoom out the door*

Weiss: Aaaaand *looks at the clock* Seven seconds, honestly I thought they would be out by the time I said cake.

Pyrrha: Is this really today? We didn't receive any notification about it.

Weiss: It was supposed to be a surprise for the holidays, but the intern that was supposed to notify everyone messed up and busted the system trying to fix it, so professor Goodwitch has been asking students to notify their teams and colleagues about it.

Pyrrha: I see. Well, I could use some cake right now.

Blake: Been awhile since i got a parfait.

Ren: We better hurry before Ruby and Nora eat everything.

Pyrrha/Ren/Blake: *hurry out*

Yang: You don't look too excited

Weiss: I don't really have that much of a sweet tooth, most of the time i like to enjoy a bit of cheesecake which they unfortunately aren't serving today. I haven't had some in awhile, given how every time I buy some, it ends up disappearing.

Yang: *sweating* R-really? what a bummer.

Weiss: It's not a big deal. Now, what were you all talking about? I believe I heard my name being mentioned before I entered the room.

Yang: Oh, that, well. . . . .i thought I saw You and Jaune kissing yesterday, I was sure it was you two but I guess I drank a bit more than I should. You would never kiss Jaune of all pe-

Weiss: Oh, it was us.

Yang: . . . . . .wait, what?

Weiss: You didn't see anything wrong, he asked for a last kiss before going back to his room and I complied.

Yang: A "last"!?!? You two are dating!?!?

Weiss: Yes. It's going to be a year next month I believe. *Pulls out scroll, showing her a picture* This is during our first date, a week after the carnival where Jaune asked me out after winning me a polar bear plushie, he was so nervous that he only stopped stuttering halfway through it. *Swipes* This is the day i got covered with flour trying to make him a special meal, him being the sweetheart that he is, helped me clean everything up and guided me through the cooking. *Swipes* This is on a ferris wheel near his home after we had dinner with his family.

Yang: You met his family!?!?

Weiss: Of course, quite delightful people they are. I was not exactly pleased by how his parents thought i was a paid actress because their son quote "Could never get someone this beautiful to fall for him", but once that passed, it was great, his sisters were lovely and shared many interesting stories with me. *Swipes* This one was on the day we supposedly missed out the last flight back to beacon. We spent a day in the park, took several pictures in one of those booths that he quite likes, and as the sun started to set, we went to a nearby motel where we. . . . .i believe the slang you would use to describe it is "Swapped V-cards"

Yang: *chokes* You wha-!?!?

Weiss: It's been somewhat of a bumpy road so far, it took him awhile not to get nervous when I'm around, and also for me to learn how to do traditional "girlfriend" stuff for him, but I'm quite happy, this relationship honestly couldn't be better.

Yang: So you two really are dating. . . .HA! I KNEW IT!!! I WOULD NEVER DRINK TO THE POINT OF SEEING THINGS LIKE THAT!!! I KNEW IT!!!

Weiss: *smiling* Yes, you figured it out.

Yang: THEY SAID I WAS SEEING THINGS BUT I KNEW THAT. . . .that. . . . .wait a minute, why are you telling me all of this? With this much detail even?

Weiss: Because I know for a fact, my dear friend, that no matter how many times you repeat, or how many times you swear, scream, shout and yell the truth towards the others. *sinister look* No one will believe a word you say~

Yang: . . . . . . .*jaw drops*

Weiss: Now, if you excuse me, I'll take this little break from our friends and spend some quality time with my boyfriend. See you later Yang~

Yang: YOU EVIL MONSTE-!!!!

*Slam*

Weiss: . . . . . .*chuckles, holding the door closed*

Jaune: You really did it, didn't you?

Weiss: Of course I did. No one steals my cheesecake and gets away with it.

Jaune: *chuckles* If that's what you do with someone that steals something small like a cheesecake, I don't even want to know what you'd do if it was something more important. That's going to make her crawl up the walls.

Weiss: We're going clean on our anniversary in a few weeks anyways, let her deal with that for a bit.

Jaune: Alright. You're going to the cantina?

Weiss: Depends. Are you going?

Jaune: Don't think so. I quite literally got my ass kicked to help on a certain Ice queen's revenge plan so I was thinking that sitting on my soft bed would be nicer. I did just make a fresh cheesecake so I can enjoy it in peace, it's just sad that it's too big just for me to eat.

Weiss: Well, i suppose i could help you with that, if you allow me to accompany you?

Jaune: Are you going to kick me again?

Weiss: *chuckles* I just might if you keep talking, silly.

Jaune: *holds her close* Well, i think i found a way to shut it, just gotta be sure it works. *Leans down, capturing her lips in a warm kiss*

Weiss: *kisses him back for a few moments before pulling away* Huh, it works afterall.

Jaune: I'm not sure yet, can i try again?

Weiss: Cheesecake first, depending on how good it tastes I might give you a sizable reward.

Jaune: Then be my guest snow angel. *Takes her hand, guiding her to his room.* And Weiss?

Weiss: Yes?

Jaune: Yang is going to be fine, right?

Weiss: Relax, I'm sure she will be alright.

*A few hours later*

Ruby: . . . . .Yang.

Blake: What in the world is going on?

Yang: Look! I know this is gonna sound really crazy! But just hear me out here!

[skyward-floored]

Malon and the glasses

A little addition to the Incredibles au glasses fic (found here!) I posted the other day, it takes place during that one, so I suggest reading that first (though you don’t have to to understand this).

This is also in honor of Mother’s Day, cause Malon is the best :)

...

Nobody saw much of Twilight the day he got his glasses, the teenager keeping pointedly to himself.

He barely ate any dinner that night, and quickly asked to be excused, shutting himself up in his room without waiting for dessert. His brothers watched him go, but soon went back to eating, the fight over who got the last slice of bread much more exciting than Twilight’s mood.

Malon exchanged looks with Time after Twilight left though, and once dinner was over and done with, she headed up to the room Twilight and Wild shared, joined by a slice of the cake Wild had made.

Here goes, she thought, bracing herself as she walked down the hallway. Twilight didn’t often get moody, but when he did, he really did.

“Hey honey, can I come in?” Malon asked, knocking softly on Twilight’s door.

A noise of confirmation came from inside, and Malon pushed the door open, greeted by the sight of Twilight sitting grumpily on his bed as a wolf. She set the slice of cake on his bedside table, then sat on the bed beside him, his ears twitching softly at her arrival.

“All right, come here,” she said gently, and Twilight scooted himself over, sadly flopping his head in Malon’s lap. Malon adjusted herself so they’d both be more comfortable, and Twilight let out a breathy sigh, not looking at her.

Malon looked at him a moment, then let out a sigh of her own.

“Oh hon, I’m sorry. I know you didn’t want glasses,” she said gently, and Twilight let out a morose sound.

“Does anyone ever want glasses?” he woofed grumpily, and Malon hummed.

“Well... at least you just need them for long distances, you’ll pretty much only have to wear them while you’re driving,” Malon said encouragingly, but Twilight didn’t look cheered up.

“Yeah. I can pull up to school and have everyone see how dorky I look.”

“Hey, I’m sure you don’t look dorky,” Malon said, and scratched a soft hand over his fur. Twilight leaned into the touch. “I’d bet they make you look nice. Sophisticated.”

“Silly,” Twilight added glumly, leaning against her arm. “Like some kind of smart alec. Glasses are just asking for trouble.”

“Now why do you say that?” she asked, and Twilight gave a small shrug.

Malon waited for him to speak further, switching from scratching behind his ears to running her hand along his head, more like how she used to do when he was smaller. Twilight relaxed, and a moment or two went by before he spoke again.

“...I’m already weird,” he mumbled finally. “Glasses are just going to add to that.”

“Twilight, you’re not weird,” Malon said firmly. “Unusual maybe, but that’s just how things are with superpowers. We’re all a bit unusual.”

Twilight gave her a flat look. “Mom, I have five brothers with the same name as me. Not to mention Dad. And Warriors. And Sky. Powers aside, that’s not normal.”

“Okay, okay, you got me there. You know half of the names were accidents though,” she said with a pointed scratch, and Twilight softly huffed.

“I know. I just... don’t want glasses.”

Malon sighed, patting him by the thick fur at his neck. “At least give them a bit of a try, hon. It’s this or no learner’s permit, so you’re gonna have to decide which you dislike more; not being able to drive, or wearing some frames while you do.”

Twilight sighed, and his mother scratched him behind the ears in silence.

“Can I see them?” she asked after a minute.

Twilight hesitated, then slipped back into his hylian form, leaning over and grabbing the glasses case she’d seen Time bring in earlier. He handed it to her and Malon opened it, picking up the glasses and inspecting them.

“Well they don’t seem so bad to me,” she said kindly, peering through them. “The frames you chose are nice.”

“It was those or the ones with these giant rims,” Twilight said with a small smile, and Malon chuckled. “...I guess they could be worse.”

“Can you model them for me?” Malon asked, and Twilight hesitated, looking at them. Then he slowly took the frames from her, and put them on.

Malon studied the way they sat on her son’s nose, how they made his eyes look, and how they looked with the shape of his face. Twilight’s ears flattened in embarrassment the longer Malon silently studied him, and he looked at the floor again, until she gently cupped his cheek and tilted his head back up.

“Look at that. I was right. They do make you look nice,” she said with a smile.

“...You sure?” he asked quietly, and she nodded.

“I’m sure. And I’m not just saying that because I’m your mother,” she said as she gave him a squeeze. “You look fine, hon. I promise. And if I’m being completely honest... they make you look more grown-up. Mature.”

A hesitant smile formed on Twilight’s face, and Malon reached over and grabbed the plate she’d brought up.

“Wild mixed up another cake, I brought you a slice,” she offered, and Twilight’s ears pricked. He took the plate from her, and leaned on her shoulder as he began to poke at it, his smile growing just a little as he ate.

“Thanks Mom,” he said quietly as he nibbled at it, and Malon nodded, rubbing his shoulder.

“Sure thing, honey,”

Twilight set his head on her shoulder, and they sat there together as he quietly ate the cake, Malon smiling at the sight of the glasses still on his nose.

[drkmgs]

Can you do Angst about when Reader is cold and gloomy like wednesday but they cry and shows their soft side because Wednesday hates them(Any gender is fine).

Loving you is torture...

Wednesday Addams x Male! Reader

Warning: pure sadness...

Thank you anon! I was in the mood for some Angst and might as well connect this with a male reader, cos men also cry! It's short but hurtful, I guess? I know it says male reader but honestly? You can still read it as gender-neutral reader...lol

When you enter the room, everyone knows it's you because they instantly feel goosebumps and shivers down their spine. You were known for your cold stone face and your gloomy mood, but more importantly, how you look, mid-length silver hair, a pale face, and icy blue eyes — The Ice King — your nickname.

Everyone avoids you and you didn't care as long as they're not talking ill of you, because why talk ill of someone you don't even know? Right, but there's a student, who seemed to dislike you the moment you stepped foot at Nevermore Academy and her name is Wednesday Addams. You're not certain as to why she hates you, was it because you were a new student and doesn't trust you? or is it because of something else?

The moment you saw Wednesday, you were magnetized by her. You have heard stories about last year's incident, but you couldn't blame her if she finds you suspicious, who wouldn't be on their toes when their first love turns out to be a serial killer monster controlled by a vengeful bitch who resurrected a murderous pilgrim? Yeah.

Soon you found yourself falling for the goth girl, secretly. Being in love with a girl who hates you is kinda morbid. You knew how painful this will be but you continued to love her, even if it was behind the doors of your room. You let her, hate you and you let, yourself love her.

Wednesday knew you were innocent. She knew she didn't have to put a barrier between you and her, but the spiders that are crawling inside her stomach every time she sees you, make her want to murder you. She hasn't felt this way, not even with Tyler. It makes her mad and hates you for causing it.

Confessing wasn't even on the list of choices, she didn't want to take the chance — of you being some kind of an evil maniac, she liked the idea of you being innocent. So, the only way to stop her feelings for you is to hate you.

You on the other end, you were already deeply in love. You knew if you continued your feelings for her, it would break you apart. As if you aren't breaking right now, you could see the loathe in her eyes and her hands in a fist, clearly ready to pounce at you anytime.

You wanted to say something but seeing her like that, you bit your tongue and dismissed the case. You watch her scoff at you and walked away. You could feel something stuck in your throat and stinging in your eyes. You tried blinking it away but it resulted in fluids dripping down your eyes.

You were crying. You'd never thought you'll be crying over a Wednesday Addams, but here you were with bloodshot eyes, surprisingly, it suited your icy blue eyes. You were certainly tired of thinking about as to why she despise you a lot. You had enough and want to clear this once and for all.

In no time you were bursting into her dorm room and slamming the door close.

"What did I ever do to you? What made you hate me so much? Because I-...Because loving you is torture and clearly I enjoyed it way too much. That my heart is breaking and I'm starting to feel numb every second that is passing by." You gritted your teeth at her and tears are spilling down your eyes.

"What do you want me to do about it? Comfort you?" Wednesday replied with her monotonous tone, not even looking at you, and continued to type on her Typewriter.

"No. I want you to watch me, how I crumble in front of you! How you broke me and lost your chance to feel loved! Okay, You won! I thought we could have been friends or more." bluish fire is soaring out of you as you walked out of her room.

Students ran away or hid in the nearest classroom, if any of them wasn't scared of you before, well now they are. You only calmed down as soon as you got into your room, the bluish fire extinguished as your breath evened out. You sluggishly slumped face down on your bed, tears slowly falling to your sheets, you buried your face onto the mattress and screamed.

[thevtuberconfessional]

Oh I get you, I try to keep away from Nijisanji as much as possible as well. The only streamers I actively watch are Zali and occasionally Sonny (if there's anything bad about them, pls lmk 😭)

But about Kyrio, I really didn't know anything about him so I went in without any prejudices and still immediately picked up on his manipulative behavior.

In one of his first streams he went on a long rant about how there are so many people that keep away from him without ever having talked to him before. He painted it as everyone was wrong and he's so misunderstood and ofc his chat ate it up. But to me this whole rant was just so strange because... sure, there are exceptions, but everyone knows that you can easily manipulate the narrative in a private conversation and that it's better to listen to the majority than to go the "but he was nice to ME" route.

He also often went into long monologues on how much he missed and loves his chat. At first I was like mmm well it's a bit excessive, but pretty much every cc says that nowadays. But since then, it has become just extreme. There is absolutely NO reason for any cc to remember viewers names, not simply usernames but actually preferred NICKNAMES, and single them out and SPECIFICALLY tell that one individual that "I care! I love you! I think you're beautiful! And I am here for you!!" NO. NEVER EVERRR. That's so fucking unhealthy. Luckily I am an adult with friends and family and the ccs I usually watch all set healthy boundaries so I know very well what line is strange to cross. But for anyone in a bad mental state and more vulnerable position, this is so incredibly dangerous. The way whenever new chatters come in he specifically singles them out and asks personal questions and wants to know more. Having nicknames with regular viewers. Saying "don't trauma dump" but every time someone says they have a hard time, he spends minutes telling them that he cares and is here for them. It's sick.

Also, this is a bit more petty, but why tf does he act like he goes through hardship just because he has a deep voice. Like even for men, men with deeper voice have it easier in life. There are so many ccs I can name on top of my head that went viral or popped off PURELY because they have a deep voice, there is a reason so many amab streamers purposely lower their voice when they get started. Sorry Iris but he mentions this so often, it pisses me off every time 😂 YOU'RE LIVING LIFE IN EASY MODE, JUST APPRECIATE IT DUDE 😭😭😂

Hey, no problem. No need to apologize, this is a confession blog-- this blog is BUILT for this stuff! But anyway, yeah. Reading through this ask was the first time I got fully acquainted with the Kyrio drama and WOW, this was a lot worse than I thought. It's really not right. It just feels...scummy. To be honest, this feels like some big issues on his part--I'm not sure if he's doing this on purpose or not, but regardless, he's reaching ALL NEW levels of parasocial. Literally-- I've been in a lot of streamer Fandoms, and this is genuinely insane. I really hope he calms down soon somehow, because this is getting concerning.

Also, yeah, I totally get the last one--while you can mention disliking having a cheap voice a few times [I completely understand having insecurities about your voice and sometimes having genuine difficulty with them], after mentioning it so many times it definitely sounds like attention seeking/fishing for compliments. I try to give the benefit of the doubt in that aspect, usually, but let's be honest, it's getting weird...

Again, no prob, Anon. I like reading your thoughts! Have a good rest of your day or night ~ .

~ Mod Iris

[animazi]

whoa look at me talking about the acolyte wow... I dislike commenting on currently airing shows largely because there is so much that is still a mystery ooh what could happen next, and this is very true for the murder mystery only the victims aren't who you think show.

this is an upsettingly long post ostensibly about how I think there will be a mae pov flashback, and really about how I think osha's flashback that we have now is not the full story, which is fairly obvious, but I've put way to much thought into getting together what passes for textual evidence for it. read at own peril contains much yapping about e3.

anyway. episode three. time to comment on the currently airing show. beautiful stunning cinematography - different director Kogonada, and yeah. wow. very pretty. a lot more obvious Symbolism shots, which I am a sucker for icl, and in general some very beautiful stuff this is, and I will go to bat for this theory (please please please be right c'mon leslye do this for me) half of the flashbacks, and it is all from osha's point of view. right ok. so. entertain me here. some people on twt have noted how there are some shots in flashback scenes in the trailer that we haven't seen yet, and this + torbin's scar and the one word title (all other episodes have been two words, with each clearly corresponding to mae or osha) + the fact that this episode is so visually distinct and Kogonada is directing e7 too + what I am about to talk about wrt mae and osha all leads me to think 'yeah, this is half of the flashback', and the other half is probably going to be the bit people get antsy about yay.

now! the mae and osha stuff - I think that Destiny (that's the name of this episode btw. I have so many thoughts about the jedi and agency as ever. that is a separate yap though) is going to be the less controversial of the two largely because, bear with me just lining up this wasps nest in my aim, it is 'pro-jedi' so to speak. the jedi are good, not bad. osha restates time and time again her desire to not be a witch, to explore the world, and the jedi are her way of doing this. sol is kind and saves her, and the jedi are nice, if strict. they stop her from having to do the ascension, a ceremony she really didn't want to do, and they saved her. now. for the disclaimer. I don't think the jedi are evil and bad, I think they are flawed as an institution, and that is the angle I am fairly certain the acolyte is going for - they care more about the legality of the situation rather than the 'moral good' of the situation they are in aka mae really does not want to leave, even if osha does - it would surely cause far more harm to take them both as the jedi pretty clearly intend to do. that in mind. I also think everyone is sleeping on how incredibly fun and biased these two (more on this later) flashback episodes will be. hands up if you've seen the last duel, anyone, anyone? well the last duel is a film about uh. the violent sexual assault of a woman in medieval france. and it is framed through three different accounts of the events as told by our three leads: jean (the husband), jacques (the rapist), and marguerite (the victim). marguerite's account is presented by the film as the actually accurate one, it is The Truth, but it is also the last version we see, so for the first two thirds of the film we have watched two clashing narratives, with no clear indication of who is right. the story of the acolyte is one inspired by leslye headland's relationship with her sister (linky link) a relationship where both sisters believe fully that they are in the right - if osha's account is 100% the truth, this really doesn't seem to track and the show looses most of its emotional depth, and while yes, sure, external material doesn't mean that the show will unfold this way, I am willing to bet (please please please please please) that it will. now. onto the actual content of this episode that I think supports my theory - aka osha's (clear) bias.

I am going to start with what I think is the strongest point, and work from there. so. basics. please remember that osha has spent the last 14 years of her life knowing that mae set the fire that killed her parents, the same fire that traumatised osha to the point that she was unable to continue her jedi training and had to take an illegal and dangerous mechanic job, and yet she still clearly loves her sister - I would guess from this information presented in e1&2 that mae and osha had a close bond before, and yet the flashback shows almost the opposite. osha chafes at mae's constant proximity, at the 'born as two but always one' line, they are near constantly fighting, mae seems like an out and out psychopath, freezing a space hummingbird and deliberately setting the fire in an attempt to kill osha (in funny news. the fortress had so many osha violations no wonder she wanted to leave hahaha I am a comedic genius). why does osha miss the shot then, in light of this? well, the thesis of this theory post is that osha is not remembering in full 4k HD honesty - again, she has spent most of her life certain that mae essentially killed her parents and indirectly ruined her dreams of being a jedi, and this lack of clarity about the truth comes through in how she acts towards mae. now. my evidence for this? largely vibes based, and could just be poor writing, but what is star wars (prequels edition esp) if not reading heavily into interesting writing :D largely here my hmmm moments all stemmed from how conflictingly Destiny (the episode) presents mae. she is at once a known freezer of space hummingbirds (but osha doing the exact same just for less time is fine?) and setter of fires while vowing to kill osha to prevent her from leaving, and also osha's clearly loved sister - yes they fight, but again, osha misses the shot that would have brought mae into jedi custody (custody that she fairly explicitly trusts). now, my hypothesis here is that osha looking back on these events as coloured by her knowledge of what mae will do unconsciously is framing mae as more in the wrong, inherently bad etc to make sense of mae's actions. now, additionally supporting evidence I will present to the review group is how vehemently osha (who is saved by and goes on to become a padawan to a jedi) supports the jedi, in a way that seems to have been, to me at least, argued before with mae. the girl has been drawing the jedi logo in her notebook, her love of the jedi is pretty apparent in this episode. and yet the witches pretty clearly fear the jedi and what they bring with them. they disagree with the jedi perception of the force - and this disagreement is not framed as wrong by the narrative thus far, the republic and jedi quite literally have banned them from ensuring the longevity of their coven - so why is osha so firmly convinced that the jedi are good? :warning: violent and unconfirmed theory :warning: through the lens of osha being biased as someone who was saved by the jedi, and clearly wanted more than life in the fortress, osha reframes her 'siding' with the jedi in childhood as a more 'moral' stance; the jedi and good, and mae, who burnt down her life, is bad; a conflict between (understandably) overprotective parents + a clingy sister and osha who wants to be her own person with her own identity (oh look a Theme) gets morphed into a conflict between the jedi (an identity osha later takes on, and still clearly largely adheres too, insert textpost about how despite leaving osha is still bound by core jedi principles e.g. compassion) and the witches (an identity osha never feels connected to and actively tries to leave behind).

I will also say I think you can see all of this in the title of the episode, Destiny. why is this the title? certainly its a break from e1&2 'lost/found' and 'revenge/justice', where they are descriptors of what osha and mae are (either literally as in being found or enacting). destiny does not fit this mould, and I think is a rather interesting framing of all this. it is osha's destiny to become a jedi, but for that to happen, mae seemingly must get cast as the villain, without any room for doubt or her side of the story. also, there is the fact that agency is such a big part of this episode (aww its my reoccurring favourite star wars theme). osha's lack of individuality/separation from mae, the way she feels unable to refuse the ceremony she clearly doesn't want to. the jedi (really just sol. I have so many thoughts about sol) offer osha the choice that she wants, and yet the 'sanctity' of that choice is taken away from her in the violent death of the coven and the burning down of the fortress. sol says if you wish you will train as my padawan, but she can never return to the ruins of the fortress, she must go to coruscant. logically and emotionally yes I understand this, but the show has made a point about how the jedi order does not really give you transferable skills - is the same not true in the other direction? osha has no family now, functionally nowhere to go that isn't the jedi order. the question is will you be my padawan, not will you be a padawan. destiny (or at least the actions of others) has made it so that the agency she just received has been dashed on the rocks. and to refocus on the actual topic of this post, that theft of autonomy was pretty directly down to mae, and so how else to process that other than casting mae as a villain.

now, in the show about troubled sororal relations (I restate my earlier link) there naturally has to be another side to the uh. sororal relations than just osha's. also I bet its going to be called 'choice' or some shit to mirror Destiny and the other episode titles and highlight the differences in worldviews of osha and mae, jedi and witch

this is all, of course, to go without even saying the unclear reasons for why mae set the fire. was she just evil and possessive, or (as the server posited) being controlled or mind tricked or startled or even was there some palpatine level manipulation going on by the master. questions that a mae specific flashback would answer.

anyway. good show I like it when the star wars makes me think about stuff even when it is 2am and I should be sleeping. watch literally none of this be true

[cto10121]

Re-watching the New Moon movie and I have many Thoughts(tm), namely

Why is the cinematography is so warm toned compared to the first movie when New Moon is the most depressing book and truly the worst era of Bella’s young life: A Mystery in 2 Hours

At least Pattinson!Edward looks a little better than usual. They put him in these crisp suits. Very nice (Edit: Never mind, that awful Volturi bathrobe with the pasty-ass makeup was horrific yuck, yuck, yuck)

They just had to introduce Jacob this early on, didn’t they? And ofc Bella is much more emotive and gets all the witty dialogue with him (!!). In the books she is much more romantic and wittier with Edward as a whole. Jacob tended to bring out her immature side

“How come Jacob Black gets to give you a gift and I can’t?” “Because I have nothing to give back to you” Nice to know the screenwriter(s) still doesn’t understand the Bedward dynamic. And by nice I mean horrific

…What film version of R&J are they watching??? It’s not the ‘30s version and definitely not the ‘60s or ‘90s one. Is it the ‘70s BBC one? In the book it was the ‘60s version, which is the correct answer. Did they not get the rights? Also, also, why are the human characters much more affected by R&J than Bella and Edward????

“[Romeo] Killed his only love out of sheer stupidity” “Yeah” Oh no, no, no, no, movie, you are not going to make Bella, a close Romeo iteration, agree with Edward!!! Edward is meant to be 100% wrong by his take. Dumbass script!!!

Edward: “Eyes, look your last” 😐 Couldn’t Pattinson just inject a little bit more feeling into his line reading? Most of Edward’s objections were Romeo’s actions, not his suicide. These are the lines Edward can and should relate to.

The movie people garbing the Volturi in 18th century clothing when they are older than the Romans is just laughable

“Dating an older woman. Hot.” Okay, Emmett is 💯, no notes. Definitely erred on the side of frat boy, but you know what, it’s fun and ho boy do these movies lack it

Bella holding up her whole bloody finger in a coven of vampires 💀 Why, movie

Stewart!Bella’s chemistry with almost everyone else in the cast (that scene with Carlisle tending her wound!!!) but Pattinson!Edward confirms what I have known all along: Film and real life chemistry are very different and they shouldn’t be confused. The proof is in the celluloid.

I’m just going to call it: Stewart and Pattinson are modern subtle quirky actors playing what are essentially neo-Gothic star-crossed lover roles. They absolutely should never have been considered for these parts at all by a competent director. Absolutely not fitting at all

“You’re just not good for me.” Hmm, this is what Bella believes about herself, not Edward. I suppose Edward could have done it on purpose, but the fact that he was flabbergasted his lie worked indicates that he doesn’t. Movie just straight up portrays him as more manipulative than in the books, where he just lies baldly

Oh God the months-on-the-screen thing was terrible. This movie fails so much at portraying Bella’s depression, it hurts. It’s like visual SparkNotes

The Bella-writing-to-Alice device sucks. Not too badly, but still. We had her voiceover in the first movie without any problems but for this one, we need a justification? Also, it fuels the Bella/Alice fan dumb something awful

Really dislike the way they did Hallucination!Edward with the ghostly transparent effect. It’s corny and also…way to pass up a chance at some mystery and intrigue by just having Edward be there without any special effects (maybe keep the echoing voice). I guess they really didn’t want people confused and think he returned when he didn’t. But c’mon.

Movie Bella going off with the biker 🤮 Book Bella at her most insane would never. The only good thing about it is that it does lead to Bella having an interest in motorcycles. Efficient movie storytelling and all that.

“Bella, where the hell have you been, loca?” Wonder why this line became so meme-worthy. It’s by far not the worst (“spider monkey” is perhaps the most awful) and Lautner’s delivery was natural enough. Is it the random Spanish? It is random.

Bella is already smiling at her first scene with Jacob…this movie is just awful at selling her desolation. Meanwhile Jacob’s first thought was how awful Bella looked

The Quileute characters are well-cast and nicely played so far, and their banter is good. Emily especially is beautiful and her scar makeup was convincing. Great

Book: “He took off his shirt” Movie: He took off his ~~~~shirt 😍

Laurent’s arrival and his death should have been a much better and weightier scene than we got. God, the pacing is so bad in this movie. Jacob becomes a werewolf, Bella finds the meadow, Laurent suddenly arrives—all within a minute or so. Ugh

“As soon as you put the dog out.” Damn, why, movie? Book Alice did not begin the slurs until she was well and truly angry. But sure, let’s do some really obvious racebaiting 🙄

Whoa, whoa, whoa, Jacob KNEW he was talking to Edward and not Carlisle????? Movie, wtf? And all to save up on some screen time…sigh

Bella: “I can let you go now.” What. The. Fuck. Movie????? Not only could she not let Edward go, Bella never wanted to let him go. That was and had never been her arc!!! She would have gone to Edward regardless of anything!!! I hate this, I hate this oh GOD

No, I’m not done, I need another bullet point for this BS. The whole reason why Twilight was picked up to be adapted in the first place was because Hollywood execs saw “Ooh Romeo and Juliet with vampires 🤑” written all over this one…only for the actual filmmakers to just say, “Actually her whole ~journey this movie is letting go of Edward uwu” Poor Meyer…she just had to grin and bear it until she became the producer, I suppose

*Bella and Edward having a whole-ass conversation and making out* *Felix and Demetri watching in the shadows*: “So…should we interru—” “Don’t you DARE” “Felix” 🤣 I’m sorry, but this whole “I lied I do love you” convo should have been in the bedroom scene proper; there are literal Volturi about!!! Also, also, no “Amazing. Carlisle is right”!!! No Romeo quote!!!! Fie, for shame

Dakota Fanning as Jane…Well, probably not perfection, but she is great as usual. The Volturi got done so dirty overall, though—they look and act like Vampire Diaries rejects.

THAT ELEVATOR SCENE, OH GOD. So much meme potential. Why does this series keep injecting humor and comedy where there shouldn’t be and just ditching the actual humor and comedy of the actual books?????

Again, these Volturi gives me discount Vampire Diaries. Also, that chamber is so damn small. Where is the mystique, the grandiosity?There should be a crowd of vampires around, it’s their dinnertime.

Michael Sheen is just too British for the la tua cantante, lol. He also says something else (“Forse le vostre l’uno per altro”??? The accent is just too thick). He’s way too handsy (movie, they’re regular vampires who are sharks!!) but overall I guess his creepy-genteel approach works. Again, the cringy script fucks him over, as it does everyone. The movie has him touch Edward only now and not immediately when he meets him. Oh, God.

Edward just stumbling forward to Jane’s demonstration on Bella 💀 Jane saying “Pain” and Edward just standing there instead of collapsing 💀 Stewart!Bella freaking out and begging them to stop…actually, no, there she did very well, I liked it

Edward and Felix fighting ewwww…and with that awful slow-mo. What’s with these movies and including non-canonical battle shit???? Also, Aro would not order Bella’s execution if simply because he wants to collect Edward/Alice and Bella once she turns (it’s obvious she is a shield).

Of course fucking Alice speaks up at the very last minute before Aro chomps on Bella!!! When she would have had a vision of this exact scenario!!! This movie I swear!!!

THEY ACTUALLY SHOW THE VISION OF VAMPIRE BELLA, OH GOD. AND WITH THE CORNY SLOW-MO. KILL ME

“Once Alice changes me, you can’t get rid of me.” Okay, Movie Bella is officially more interested in immortality than Edward, the exact opposite of her book counterpart. Dishonor on your cow, Rosenberg.

“Jake, I love you.” Aaaaaand it’s official, the movies are definitely Team Jacob. Fuck you, too, movie

[franki-lew-yo]

I kinda hate Dreamworks-stans (

No, not Dreamworks films persay, especially the ones I haven’t seen that everyone is so hyped that I do see (The Last Wish, Rise of the Guardians, Kung Fu Panda 2-3). It’s just...

The attitude -some- Dreamworks fans have about these franchises is a real turn off for me. They mostly say only good things about these movies but...they're kinda...snooty? I don’t want another Paranorman situation, is all. Before I go any further I will say, I definitely think Dreamworks films objectively look better than Disney’s modern movies-.Dreamworks’ artists are more at home with cgi where Disney’s fantasy films don’t look or feel right in that medium, compared to How to Train Your Dragon, that is. And yet...

I’ve really never liked Kung Fu Panda as a series. I disliked the first and didn’t feel anything for it all, so I've never watched the second even though everyone assures me it's better. Yeah. I'm sure it is. Part of this is all because of inner-fandom petty nonsense; baby-faced KFP stans were saying Skunk Fu! is a ripoff of KFP. Objectively YES, KFP is a better moviestory but what if I just straight up don't like it or feel obligated to like it ((this debate was always stupid regardless of what franchise was 'better' or 'worse' than the other. The idea of furries doing martial arts is a popular trope in animation cuz different styles or martial arts are even NAMED after animals sometimes.)). Either way, despite it looking cool and having a peacock as the main villain I have no desire to give KFP any attention kind of BECAUSE you all are so obsessed with it being "JUST SO GOOD".

But the thing that really irks me about Dreamworks fans is how obsessed they are with design and aesthitics >> character development and appeal.

While I liked How to Train Your Dragon a lot, I really didn’t like the second movie. That film had WAY too much going on in it. It was overstuffed and gave me a headache. It had no room to develop itself properly and sns I hate the character of Valka. I hate how she’s written to be this actually a loving mother to Hiccup and really loved Stoic deep down. To me, that cheapens her character and her son’s uniqueness for bonding with Toothless if it’s really just that his mom is just like him. I read somewhere that she was actually supposed to be a distant, kind of “wild” character who was more interested in dragons and didn’t feel that natural maternal instinct because not all women are motherly and that’s fine, and now with Stoic changed (and then dead) and Hiccup needing her she’s got to face her past and connect her dragonrider side with her family. No idea if any of that's true but WOW. I would have like that way more. But instead- I found Valka really bland and kind of awfully written, just like the rest of her movie. Oh, but everyone just "LOVED" that movie because Stoic died or whatever. I didn’t feel anything for Stoic’s death despite me liking him in the first film. I thought the second movie was a good story in theory, BUT the execution was so bad I'm sorry. It all went by so fast and so clunk that I didn't actually feel anything for this shocking and dramatic character from the first film at the hand of his son's hypnotized dragon. Believe me, I GET where people are coming from about this scene. Again I get what the emotions were supposed to be. I’m saying I found the storytelling and pacing horrid and it, by virtue, ruined the character(s). Just to add salt in my wound, everyone and their mom seems to love Valka cuz she doesn’t have same-face syndrome like the modern Disney women all have. Again, objectively Dreamworks has a better eye for style. BUT YA KNOW WHAT? I really think some of you are way too locked into this “looks generic/basic pretty woman = bad character” philosophy which kinda makes me want to scream.

Sns Moana, Maribel and Elsa > characters than Valka and that girl from the Croods.

You don’t have to love or even like them or those movies, but I mean objectively I think they’re better written story-wise. To better explain it’s the same logic that badfaith reviewers apply to Illumination: people hate the characters for their made-to-be-appealing designs and grafted personalities as opposed to their actual shortcomings as characters in the writing. Same face syndrome, manic pixie dream protagonists and EVERY Disney movie being about a man and a woman going on a wacky three-day long adventure is annoying, but if the blowback from Wish is any kind of indication, people are not going to love it “no matter what” and Disney-adults aren't sheeple.

I’ll believe fans when they tell me How to Train your Dragon 3 is awful. Yeah, I don't doubt that. Bu,t can you all kindly eff off with the implication that everything wrong with that movie stems from how Toothless’s mate is a pretty girl whitedragon version of him? Can you all shut up about how the 'Light Fury' (stupid name) ruined your life?

I too hate the trope of “girl = lighter and pretty”, but of what I’ve read that’s not the problem with her, character wise. Frankly, given how some of you act, I’m not convinced you would have any of these hang ups about her had she been better designed and not just white-Toothless. From the way some of you sound, it kinda feels like if her design was actually good, you would be stanning her character even after her movie/character turned out to be bad. It's why I also don't trust ya'll when it comes to that Elsa-looking fox girl in the new KFP 4 movie and how 'bad' she looks. Yeah, she DOES look bad...but I don't know by what margin you're talking about.

In the end, where Disney adults are their own kind of hivemind of shallow - believe me, I know - I kinda hate the unself-awareness of Dreamworks fans. They remind me of that side character in Mean Girls who gets the main character to spy on the Plastics because she hates them. They’re their own kind of shallow and mean. I wish they would at least be aware of that. 

Also, Jeffry Katzenberg is NOT your friend. He's an AI-advocate and it's his fault Disney made Pocahontas.

[snarkivistfic]

Shipper Tag Game

Tagged by @heyholmesletsgo, thank you! :) I apologize that this took me literally forever to do!!!

1. What ship were you completely obsessed with when you were a teenager, but now you don't care about anymore? I think probably Alec Scutter/ Maurice Hall from Maurice but I wouldn’t say I don’t care about them anymore

2. Which ship would you consider your first one? I had to think about this really hard. I don’t remember if it was George and Susan San Francisco from Alien Nation or Maurice Hall and Alec Scutter from Maurice.  I loved both of these couples fiercely but especially the former I haven’t even thought of until I started thinking about this. 

3. Your first fanfic was about which couple? I didn’t ever write it down till much later

4. Do you remember the first couple you saw fanart of? I apologize to artists – I do not!!

5. Have you ever gotten into ship discourse? With my social anxiety? Heavens no.

6. Did you use to have any NOTP or have one currently? I guess I do but I honestly don’t think about it too much. Like I don’t read those ships but honestly can’t be bothered to block any content because I don’t care that much.

7. Who were the couple in the last fanfic you read? WeiLan from Guardian (Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan)

8. Currently, do you have any OTPs? SO MANY (can one have multiple One True Pairings?  Yes, yes you can).  ZiNing (Ouyang Zizhen /Wen Ning) is my absolute number one.  But I also passionately love ChuGuo, BigTay, ChanPol, XiYao, YaoYang (CLs Yao and Ouyang), ZhuiLing, and Qin Su/Bicao.

9. Is there any couple that, to this day, you are extremely mad about not getting together? Okay so this is a bit of a deep cut and I refuse to google the names of the characters lest it upset me again. I adore the actor Rupert Graves (Probably because he plays Alec Scutter) and he was in this movie called Dreaming of Joseph Lees.  His character has sooooo much chemistry with the female lead and they are so good together. But in the end she goes back to her horrible and cruel husband because he’s been injured or something I don’t remember.  I just remember I was sooooo mad and it still upsets me to think about it now.

10. Is there any ship you used to dislike but now you think they are kind of interesting? I mean probably if you have a really wide definition of ship and it encompasses my whole life of imagining fictional characters together. But I can’t think of one right now.  

11. Do you have any ship that, in the past, would've been considered normal but now you would be cancelled over? I can’t think of anything. 

12. What is your favorite crack ship? People consider YaoYang to be a crack ship but like I don’t think I could be so passionate about them if I thought that. I am not writing them as a pairing as a joke.  I think the first time I wrote them seriously (a fic called A Call to Arms) I started it as a joke and a way to play with unreliable characters. But I ended up sort of getting in their heads and now I love them so much. Because I think people in my life find me annoying and a little too much of a know-it-all (who is often wrong about things) so I kind of identify with CL Yao in a way.  So but yeah I guess technically this is my favourite crack ship?

13. What is the couple you read the most fanfics about? Honestly, I guess WangXian just because there are the MOST of them. 

14. What do most of your ships usually have in common? Hmmmm.  I think, and maybe this is in all ships?, that each of the characters sees something in the other that no one else can. Like maybe everyone else thinks they are annoying (lol YaoYang) or just a sweet sexless cinnamon roll (ZiNing), or for whatever reasons the characters don’t think they deserve love or that anyone could love them.  I think that’s the thing.

15. What you absolutely hate in a ship? This is hard for me to answer because the whole point of fiction is that you can like things that would be terrible in real life.  So a dynamic that would suck irl could be a great ship dynamic?  I guess I don’t have an answer.

Tagging @unfortunatelycake @jaggededges123 @justacoyote @linacies @zaelriel (no pressure at all! I won't be offended if you're not interested!) and whoever else would like to answer!

[sadruru]

A little bit about the events in Barovia: I'll describe a bit of what happened to Light and her company. 1. In the Baron's mansion we had to fight the guards who were looking for Viktor Vallakovich for some reason. We killed them. Nita didn't like it, with low HP she freaked out and decided to lift the couch instead of Ismark. Failed her athleticism test and got a bleed. Light decided to help and angrily healed her.

2.I didn't tell you last time, but this guy's name is Albian. A red-haired guy with green clothes and green eyes. He's a warlock, but he's not an elf. He was originally born human, but Light somehow managed to talk to him separately and found out that his special appearance is due to a pact, just like his hat. Berries and flowers constantly grow on the hat, and he can't take it off for long. Albian didn't say who he made the pact with, and Light didn't insist. But she quickly realized that it seemed to be one of the very powerful fairies. He also talks weird. Like a storyteller from a fairy tale. And he gave everyone nicknames. He calls Light a blackberry. We offered to help him find Victor, his friend (yes, in our game, he is Victor's good friend). We agreed. But he only whispered what he looked like in Light's ear. I was shocked by such an act, blushed and banged my fist on the table for a long time. Yeah, I like watching them as a funny couple.

3. Light ran off in embarrassment with Tyrin, a priestess of Suna, the goddess of love and beauty. Somehow, miraculously, things had devolved into a rather personal conversation. Light told a bit about herself. The half elf tried to convince the fairy that she should try to open her heart again and not remember the past. Light really wants to go home.

Even I myself was amazed by this kind of conversation, even though this is my first time playing DnD. We talk to each other a lot. It brings out our characters more. And it seems like Light really fell in love~

4. …But someone clearly has trust issues, and there are many reasons for that. Because of the Shadow Plan, the fairy has emotional problems. She never feels happy or cheerful. Sveta dislikes people very much… She killed those who betrayed her and felt nothing, no conscience torments her. It scares her. I've noticed that a lot of my characters have trust issues. I need to think about it…

5. We fled the city from an angry mob of peasants. We stopped for the night in the woods on the way to the Abbey of St. Markovia. We even found Victor! Now we have a long rest. Turns out Albian can do different hairstyles (he has 2 younger sisters). Light got brave and asked him to braid her hair. He agreed.

I'm really glad he's being nice to her at all. But I've been told that he and Victor are in this story for a reason and could be very disappointing…

I love the drama and the glass eating. Thanks. I wish I hadn't been told that... 🗿

6. Right now, Light wasn't thrilled with her appearance. But Albian hinted that Victor might be able to tell her something about her problem. I already know what's haunting her. I'm freaked out by that fact. Maybe later I'll drop a hint who exactly.

7. Darcy is our dhampir. The whole group wishes she and Ismark were together. He's really paying attention to her. Albian's finished with her hair. Even added flowers.

Light is cute~ But Albian is blind and can't see that she really likes him 🗿🗿🗿

And me, of course. Some memes!~ I once stayed up all night and day. I turned into the Joker. I told jokes, screamed about crazy ending theories, about Victor, Albian, myself, panicked. The Dungeon Master just silently read my ramblings with interest... and smiled. Shook my hand in messages. I'm really scared now and I'm wondering what's going to happen next. What did I sign up for?!..

[yourlocalsimpsonsandsanriofan]

💫A goofy AHHH review💫

hey guys it's ya boi Rusty here again!! and I'm here to review:

Yes yes, I can hear y'all now saying "but it's made for kids" "bro why are u watching this" 🤓☝

Stop right there, bud. ✋

This show is pretty good so far, all things considered! I decided to watch it for the nostalgia (and for mah boi Smee ofc!)!! I watched this show a little bit when I was younger, so I remember it fairly well. I was pleasantly surprised to find that it isn't cringe! (Well, some parts are a little iffy but we'll get to that in a minute.) It's actually tolerable and even made me laugh at some parts!

💫The songs💫

The songs aren't that good, in fact their kinda cringe. (But ofc I gotta go easy on this show cuz yes, it is intended for little kids with no brain cells.) At the end of every episode (wich usually consists of two episodes ranging from 15 minutes long each, making up the 30 minute mark.) There's these two ideots called Sharky and Bones who sing a song, and it's cringe. The lyrics arent funny, and their singing isn't even that good. I get that the humer is supposed to have zero brain cells, but come on guys. U gotta try a bit harder than that. The background music for the episodes is ok, nothing I would casually listen to though.

💫The characters💫

We have a few new characters to add to the Peter Pan universe by the names of Jake, Cubby (WHY ARE THEIR TWO CUBBYS?!), Izzy, Skully, Sharky and Bones. (And Captain Hook and Mr. Smee of course!!) The character designs are good, they work well for everyone, except Hook. Hook just looks weird in this art style honestly. And at first I didn't like Smee's design in this, but it grew on me. (The og is still better though!) In fact, he might even look kinda cute! :D

The voice acting for them is great too!! Its very expressive and something you wouldn't normally get from a kids show. The new voice actors for Smee and Hook almost sound IDENTICAL to the og's! There are some minor differences, but nothing to really make me get annoyed at. The animation is smooth and fluid too! I can tell that they used computer Riggs, but it's barely even noticeable! Which from what I heard, computer Riggs are pretty hard to do. So thats honestly impressive!

💫The insecurities of Jake and The Neverland Pirates💫

First off, I wanna talk about how Smee is portrayed. In the og movie, he's supposed to be a bumbling ideot (but a lovable ideot imo!). In this series, he seems to have a few brain cells, which I dislike. They didn't stay true to his character! Neither did they with Hook. He isn't that goofy anymore, neither is he evil, but he's in between. I can't really describe it, but something is off with his personality.

Like I said before, the music isn't very good, and neither is the pacing of each episode. It's inconsistent and feels too slow at times. The plot points for each episode are predictable too. The kids find something to play with, and Hook wants whatever it is and steals it and they take it back etc etc. The dabloons make no sense either! They collect dabloons each episode for their chest, but why?! What does it accomplish?! Maybe Im not smart enough to understand but that makes no sense to me. It's repetitive too, but not to the point where u want to shove a gun into the side of your head and call it quits. Like I said, it's tollerable! It does feel like Micky Mouse Clubhouse though (I HATE MICKEY MOUSE CLUBHOUSE.), but with Peter pan 💀

💫Conclusion💫

I like this show, and I think it's cute! It has potential!! Maybe just get rid of the repetitiveness and the cringe songs and it could be good! I reccomend this is you want the nostalgia from your chilhood (well technically I'm still a kid but whatever LOL)!!

That's my thoughts on this show! I haven't finished the first season yet, but maybe my views will change, but well see. But when they do, I'll keep u posted!! Thanks for reading this and I hope you have a spectacular day/night!!! I love you :D❤❤

(Oh yeah one last thing I gotta note is that Smee actually referred to Hook as "your greatness" 🤨 idk man..)

[spectordameron]

Okay, I want to talk about something today. Last week, I was skimming through the tlj novelization, and came across a passage that made me frown, and I mentally added it to a growing pile of canon quotes that give me the ick.

It's absolutely no secret that Poe gets objectified to hell and back in this fandom, and has ever since tfa. The popular fanon at the time was that he was the best fuck on base and had probably fucked everyone (except Snap. Important distinction there no one ever assumed he'd fuck Snap. Can't imagine why the fat man was the single exclusion but that's a separate issue), and even today, there's still a lot of gross latin lover tropes swimming around in fics, and Certain Popular Pairings certainly have no issues fetishizing him.

But it's become a thing in canon also, and the more I uncover of it, the more uncomfortable I get. Screenshots under the cut. TW: discussions of sexual harassment, objectification, suicide, and allegorical rape.

The first time I really noticed it was reading Resistance Reborn by Rebecca Roanhorse; this book is foul for about a fazillion different reasons (racism, sexism, ableism), and I've only read it once because of how upset and sick it made me feel to read, but essentially, the writer is quite clear in that she dislikes Poe Dameron deeply — calling him supremely arrogant in every other interview for tbe story — and you can tell that her thoughts towards him in this book is "i hate him, but he is attractive".

Poe goes through the meat grinder, she instills in him a nearly uncharacteristic amount of self loathing, and uncharitably has Maz Kanata physically assault him because he doesn't want to talk about his issues, and pin him down and compare his "arrogance" to the arrogance of Neo-Nazis. Yeah. And then later, a man named Stronghammer informs the Resistance that Poe should be killed, by being thrown out of an airlock, for his mutiny. Horrifically, Roanhorse has most of the Resistance agree (this ruined my feelings towards post tlj era for a long time), and has Poe point blank admit he'd commit suicide in a heartbeat if it'd stop the First Order, which no one except Finn shows any concern towards (and...pot meet the kettle baby you've tried killing yourself every movie).

The context for this is important, because after Maz physically assaults him, and Stronghammer announces he wants Poe killed, this happens:

And certainly, Resistance Reborn has an ongoing problem of objectifying Poe (a running gag about his hair, a joke about the size of his cock, a convoluted as hell excuse to get him to jump into a pool in a tux), but this one feels especially the worst because the two people who have recently physically assaulted/threatened him are now coming onto him, which Poe is clearly made uncomfortable by — enough so that Leia swoops in and changes the subject.

It's harassment, played off for laughs, because we all know Poe is handsome so of course, Maz and Stronghammer would admit that it's one of his strong points, right? And it wouldn't fly if it was someone else in Poe's place, like a white woman, but because he's a man of color, it's just a funny gag because we've all seen Poe Dameron's face, and we agree it's handsome.

But it's far from the last time Poe being reduced to his looks happens, and nor is it the only time that it goes from "objectified by the narrative" and into the realm of "hey that's sexual violence/harassment".

The most benevolent example is in Spark of the Resistance, when Poe is recognized by a stormtrooper specifically because "who else has that hair". And then the origins of Maz believing Poe is handsome, is evidently the Last Jedi novelization by Jason Fry:

and that's not even an accurate statement he's in charge of an entire flight wing and is a capable field agent but whatever.

I haven't read all the way through that novel to see if there's more of that attitude prevalent in it, but at this point it wouldn't surprise me, because it also pops up, at its absolute worst, in the Force Awakens novelization:

The implied threat of sexual violence is shocking (it definitely threw me for a loop when I was rereading) and it's especially awful when you consider one of the first incidents to happen in the trilogy is Poe being mind-raped by Ren; he's violated horribly and painfully (it's described as silent agony in the novelization), and it certainly makes an already gross habit of reducing Poe to his attractiveness, even more awful when you remember he is a victim of allegorical rape — and we, the audience, are expected to laugh along, at least in the case of Resistance Reborn, because Poe Dameron is hot, remember? It's his best quality, that makes us able to stand his other less than ideal character traits, so of course it's okay if we objectify him or have characters in-universe harass him after attacking him (this is sarcasm, for the record. Extremely bitter sarcasm).

It says a lot that instead of ever getting any meaningful acknowledgement of what Poe underwent with Ren, the way he was horribly violated, authors time and time again just heave a sigh and start waxing poetry about how sexy Poe is, and now it's canonical he's been subject to repetitive sexual harassment/threats (Maz and Stronghammer, then Naka, respectively) after being violated by Ren in the worst possible way.

But am I surprised when even the torture scene gets grossly sexualized by folks? Or watered down? Or people expect Poe to have to swallow his trauma and move on from it, for every other character's benefit? When everyone agrees Poe Dameron can be so annoying, but hey... he's easy on the eyes.

[that-angry-noldo]

No, actually, I want to talk about how most of my tolkien "unpopular opinions" and dislike for "everything's not so simple" comes from russian fandom.

When I only started getting into the fandom, russian really was my only way to do so. Ukrainian fanfiction was fairly underdeveloped (or I didn't have the skills to find better sources), and my knowledge of english was... poor, to say the least. So, yeah, russian fandom that is.

And boy, oh boy, what an experience that was. Russian most popular trope, unsurprisingly, was "everything's not so simple".

Kinslayings? Not so simple, Feanor was justified. Lay of Leithtian? Beren is a monster and should be burnt; Luthien is a naive girl who travels naked, actually; Celegorm and Curufin are her noble resquers; Finrod deserves to die for his idiotism. Miriel & Indis? Why is it even a question, of course Indis is an evil stepmother, of course Miriel is pure and without a flaw, of course 2nd & 3rd houses shouldn't have existed!

The Valar? Hey, did you know russians have "The Black Book of Arda" - a book that is basically about poor little Melkor being right and cruel and scary Valar being mean to him?

I read many fics, but there were three that stuck to me the most (i don't remember their names, though): the one that wanted to retell the silmarillion in the "right" way, the one that basically said C&C were right for capturing and threatening Luthien, and the one where everyone was evil, except elves who lived in Beleriand.

The first one... the first one was basically a huge Feanor apologism, even though the author claimed that they were "just adding nuance" and that "you should always look past the text implications" and that "you can't be in the right if you don't spill a bit of blood, actually". I mean, even if at one point author implies that yeah, 2nd and 3rd houses shouldn't have really existed, it's a huge red flag for me.

The second one, well - the plot goes like this: C&C capture Luthien; C&C talk with Luthien; the talk goes basically like this: "Look little miss, you are your father's daughter. Your father has an army. What we're saying is, you marry Celegorm, he won't love you, you won't love him, yeah you'll be unhappy, your Beren is dead anyways, all we need you for is basically your dad's army." And it is painted as a right decision for Luthien to forsake Beren and marry Celegorm. When someone in the comments said "hey, don't you think what the feanorians told luthien was pretty off the rails?", the author exploded, saying, again, that we should see nuance, and that luthien made the right choice not retrieving the silmarill that would cause 2nd kinslaying and that C&C are much more well-thought that Finrod, and that yeah Finrod is an idiot and the fact that he and Beren will now inevitably die and his death will be pointless - well, sucks to suck, I guess.

Brr. I still get flashbacks from that comment section.

The last one basically shitted on humans. Humans? Oh you mean magicless filthy creatures who only lie, insult and are parasites that need to be destroyed? And everyone who's not an elf should die? And the elves under Valar influence should die, too? And Valar are actually parasites? And Eru is a myth? Yeah. Yeah you know what.

Russian fandom yells about "nuance" but their nuance are just sides switched. Black becomes white, white becomes black. And if you disagree, well, you clearly can't see past the 2nd-3rd Houses biased Noldor propaganda and should therefore be destroyed. (Ha. Seeing some paralels with real life now, honestly.)

That's why I left, kinda. I just felt so tired, all the time. This is why I prefered LoL as a fairytale, and this is why I mostly prefer following canon. Because for me Tolkien was an escapism, first and foremost, but I felt like I needed to have entire essays at hand just to defend my love for it.

In conclusion, I was an unprepared Ukrainian thrown in the mist of Misterious Russian Soul™ and was gradually taking 1d4 confusion damage, until I was so tired I left entirely. And I'm glad I did so, because English fandom is so much more chill, and when people say/criticise something, they do specify that it is just their opinion on a fictional world and people don't have to wage wars and write multiple essays to enjoy their fave.

P.S. My biggest beef to this day is Finarfin being portrayed as a tiny whiny man unable to raise his voice. Whenever I remember that fic I immediately want to bite. But it's just me, probably.