#(which we cant have all going or else our power goes out so we have to take turns dealing w the heat and stuffiness)

[norcried]

malcolm is literally climbing the walls bc i won't open a window

[dailyadventureprompts]

Homebrew Mechanic: Battles of Attrition

I think we can all agree that there’s something a little wonky with how d&d’s combat system changes between the early and mid/late game. Heroes go from being rightfully cautious about danger to being outright banal about it, confident that their accumulated power will be enough to dispatch all but the most outstanding foes.  The traditional solution is to put them up against stronger enemies but in my experience these mismatched encounters are a failing proposition: combat just gets more swingy and there’s only so many high level threats I can throw at them in a short period of time before it begins to strain credulity.   

While a lot of folks (Especially the OSR crowd) have taken the stance that 5e is broken because of how much it empowers players, I think the real fault lays with the lack of systems that exist to provide challenge outside of anything related to the damage based tug-of-war that is combat.  I think a lot of those systems were part of the non existent “exploration” pillar of the game before Hasbro realized they could make easy money selling the game in its unfinished state and gutted it along with the development team. 

Thankfully, I and other homebrewers are around to do what the megacorporations cant, namely have some original thoughts and try and figure out a way to add challenge back to the game without resenting those playing it for having fun. 

TLDR:  Trying to make our games challenging by upping damage numbers in combat is a losing proposition, in no small part because that part of the game is DESIGNED around the heroes winning. Instead, we up the overall difficulty by making them temporarily weaker with systems like sickness, stress, exhaustion, & item degradation. All of which I have details and guidelines on below the cut. 

First and foremost let me state some of my goals for these “attrition systems”, so we can all be on the same page. Whenever I make homebrew rules I try for something that’s going to require little to no paperwork on behalf of the players and can be seamlessly implemented into my DMing style. It’s not about realism, it’s not about punishing players, this is a way for me to add mechanical depth without bogging down the machine entirely. 

Attrition should be largely non-permanent.  The 5e audience invests a lot in their characters both emotionally and mechanically, so it won’t do to pile on debilitating debuff after debuff to the point of making a character useless. 

There should be an inverse relationship between the severity of the affliction and how long it lasts. Think in term of encounters, days, or weeks, (with the understanding that an attrition that goes on for long enough becomes a questhook in itself) 

The exception to this rule is if someone hits 0 hitpoints. I’m outspoken in my stance that characters should only die when it’s alternatively appropriate, but the dm is at liberty to inflict thematically devastating setbacks in the unlikely event that the party DOES suffer losses in the damage tug of war. 

We want to be sparing with how much attrition we throw at the party at once, so as to not create a “death spiral” where failures compound upon one another and make getting through the adventure impossible. 

In most cases suffering Attrition should be something the party is able to avoid by being fast/lucky/cautious/clever or whatever else the encounter requires. It’s there to add weight and consequence to their actions, and as a factor for DMs to build scenarios around. 

Exhaustion:  Unlike a lot of the other changes made in Oned&d, I actually quite like the overhaul of “each point of exhaustion is a cumulative -1 to all d20 rolls and spell dc, beyond 10 is death” as it allows us to play with exhaustion far more readily as an attrition. 

Every night you don’t rest in a haven (a safe comfortable place)  you need to make a con save or take a point of exhaustion, with the ruggedness of the environment determining the DC. Characters with the survival skill or natural explorer feat don’t have to make this roll. Only rest in a haven removes exhaustion at the rate of one point per night (though spaces like a luxury inn or a peaceful glade watched over by friendly fey may restore more)  

Hitting 0 hp and then being healed gives you a point of exhaustion. Nothing’s going to tire you out like getting magically defibulated so now everyone can stop complaining about healing word spam. 

Poison:  For our purposes, the “poisoned” condition as written  is too severe. Disadvantage on all attacks and ability checks is downright punishing for anything other than a single battle. Instead we’re going to make it work like charmed, where there’s a baseline effect for the purposes of resistance, but the status of each poison is dependant on the source.  

Poison falls in the “ short term big effect” side of attrition, specifically undermining a player’s ability to do most things since most effects end on a successful save or at the end of an encounter. Long lasting poisons should have more minor effects than the default poisoned condition, only applying to a few types of rolls or having a bane-like effect that makes judging the odds just a little bit more difficult.  

This makes poison great to use for dungeons and short-ranging exploration where the party is likely to face multiple encounters in one day. 

Diseases:  4e aced the design of these maladies by treating them as a contained skill challenge with their own CR  with various stages: stage 0: you were cured, stage 1: you suffered the initial effect, stage 2 or 3: you suffered a severe effect, with the final stage (3-4) being some effect that made the disease permanent.  When you got a disease it was usually stage 1, and you (usually) saved for it at the start of each day. Beating the DC by 5 or more meant you went down a stage (closer to 0), where as simply succeeding meant it stayed as bad as it was. Failing meant you got sicker, meaning a character could bounce up and down in wellness as an adventure went on. 

Diseases are best for longterm adventures, and often undermine one particular aspect of a character ( healing, actions assosiated with a particular stat).  Counterpoint to poisons, diseases should start out fairly gentle and then get worse the longer they’re left alone, leading to eventually devastating effects.  

Curses:  While borrowing the mechanics of diseases, I’d have curses be specifically weirder in their effects. The sort of thing that can make up the central hook or b-plot of a whole adventure.  This should also mean that curses are the hardest for the party to stumble into, but also the hardest to shake. 

Item Degradation: Detailed in a previous post HERE, the long and short of it is that item degradation is a form of player driven attrition that gently curbs their overall power level. If they go too hard, use their best items recklessly, get involved in needless fights, then they’re going to be in worse shape by the time they reach the final challenge. This was supposed be the idea behind HP/limited class abilities per day, but attrition systems cover that better IMO. 

Stress:  The psychological counterpoint to exhaustion,  I’ve already talked about Stress HERE. I tend to only use stress in horror themed adventures and campaigns, as it builds upon 5e’s optional “madness” system which fits the theme when gothic terrors and eldritch abominations but less so with the game’s usual heroic fare. 

Hunger & Supply:  I made a super lightweight system based off this idea of “depletion die” for potions and other consumables, check it out, it’s lightweight and fantastic.  Using this kind of system gives us another avenue to challenge our party, lengthening or shortening their lifeline as they lose supplies and seek out new caches. 

Thinking environmentally:  Part of the fantasy of being an adventurer is travelling to dangerous places and living to tell the tale.  We’re denying our party that fantasy if we don’t follow through on the threat the idea of these places imply.  You should risk sickness if you go into a swamp, sewer, or jungle, thirst should be a factor in desert exploration, just like freezing is for mountain and winter expeditions.  That’s to say nothing of magical hazards; cursed landscapes that drain your will to live dead marshes style, alchemical smog in a steampunk industrial zone, fading into nothingness as you approach the edge of existence.  

Figure out the natural hazards, make your party aware of the danger, and then build your adventure around the fact that they’ll need to save against the hazard each time they take a long rest.. Do they take a detour if it means having a safe place to camp? Is there a resource they need to manage along the way? Could encounters expose them to further dangers or make their current exposure worse? Keeping these ideas in mind especially when you’re planning a wilderness exploration adventure should give you lots of ideas to fill up those encounter tables. 

Adding insult to injury:  Giving enemies the ability to inflict attrition in various forms makes otherwise trivial  enemies a credible threat even to a seasoned adventuring party. As an example,  A party might breeze through a fight with some monstrous spiders ( or even ONE regular sized spider, if you can imagine) , but that spider encounter doesn’t need to be the most dangerous thing ever if their next encounter is a navigation challenge fording a river and a few of the heroes are still groggy thanks to the slow acting poison in their systems.  

In this way you can use attrition based battles to soften your party up for greater challenges, long after their HP totals and healing ability have outpaced the damage a single trap/encounter can do. 

Artist

[eruhatesu]

eru i'm losing my mind at her ct it goes w a lot of our hc perfectly??? like uta being a perf candidate for arranged marriages since that's smth anyone'd want on their fam, maybe she's not promoted cause under no circumstances must someone w that ct die. imagine being a curse and this beautiful woman just starts dancing and singing out of nowhere, imagine being mai and momo and watching your adorable sensei do that. gojo definitely told her she'll be like his cheerleader on their 1st mission

HELLO Utahime being more important than we can ever imagined because of her CT is so fucking mind blowing to me because of all the possible fics the writers are gonna give!!!

Im already eating this up from a moot writer (lanni/ohmytheon from AO3) and Im seriously waiting for them to write it HEBHABHBHADHHEAs the spice!!!!

If I am a curse I would definitely be mesmerized too. I also have an HC that Gojo in a way has a darkness in him (mainly this is based on how bratty he is sometimes because well, he is the strongest afterall). I feel like yea he's bratty fun but with the amount of power he has, he cant help but have a personality similar to a curse. At times he is possessive and has a tendency to wreak havoc just to get what he wants. So thats where Utahime and her CT came in. As a kid he probably saw her doing his ritual and was already captivated. As they grow up, he couldnt stand the thought of her offering this privilege to someone so he goes and give in some words to the Higher ups which didnt end well for him (her being kept distant to him) but since he tries to be mature and prioritize all else but him, he just go and cooperates.

I been itching to draw this but suddenly I havent got the time to work on it. Hehehehehe pls wait

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Gale Reviews: ML Season 5 episode 11 Deflagration

(Spoilers below)

-So continuing from episode before with Scarabella and Kitty noir answering an interview explaning that the heroes needed to step down cause Monarch... okay.

-That reporter is right

-Oh damn Kitty noire can flirt. I still hate that lipstick look. The lighting looks so weird.

-Adrien seems down, I think he misses Plagg. But he also looks like he wants to call Marinette. Hard to say whats going on in his mind

-Tikki misses marinette. Alya thought she messed up with the interview

-But looks like Marinette can visit Tikki at least.

-"Did we miss an episode?" As someone that watches ML that is offensive. We get our episodes out of order dont complain ... lol

-So we actually get to look at Alya's room and girl has a LOT of manga and comics. Respect. BUT WHERE ARE THE PICS OF NINO?! hardly any. I only saw one in the group photo.

-Oh Alya, you missed more than you think

-Marinette checking to ensure alya knows the rules but, Alya assures her that this is not her issue anymore. She can focus on her.

-Meanwhile Plagg telling Zoe she is only lacking in the chees department

-"I live in a hotel with the biggest cheese cellar in paris"

-The moment plagg learned that True happiness CAN exist

-I have a feeling this episode is going to determine if I start Liking Zoe or not

-Catching Chloé in 4K

-Zoe caved quick...

-Plagg coming out with the diss track for Chloé's stank feet

-Plagg only had Zoe for one day and is ready to commit murder

-Plagg killed the dino's because they were sassing him. Amazing

-Plagg is baby

-And now .... WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK WAS THAT?!

-Did they just... THAT HAD TO BE A HALLUCINATION! I SERIOUSLY SAW THAT. GABRIEL SUNG! AND POORLY MIGHT I ADD!

-Also he slid down the staircase and the song stopped when Nathalie is like "The fuck was that you tampon?!"

-Gabriel explained why he is so happy

-Nathalie going back to watching videos of her gay crush

-Roarr calls him out like a good boy

-Gabriel is pulling out all the stops with this power combo

-Oh look the resistance is back

-Can we appreciate that Nino had a great speech with epic music?

-Adrien just turns it off cause he wants to ask about ladybug

-Marinette worried about chat noir

-Adrien is like mentally 'Oh right, I made out with her as chat noir'

-Max and Markov made an alert app on the alliance or smartphone. Smart move

-Kitty section made warning music. Thats fun

-So they have anti-akuma measures. Gotta say, thats kind of cute

-I know he says paintball guns. But I was kind of hopping Alya, Nino, marinette and Adrien would get real guns and cap an akuma

-HE WAS THERE THE WHOLE TIME?! Dude! He could have just ended it there! are you stupid MONARCH?!

-Okay I know its not 100% and he needs to confirm its them. But like. He could have just stunned them. Checked them for earrings and rings. Then left.

-Okay Adrien you f***ing dweeb. I love it. He got a little make shift table for two with a bowl of fruit and a rose. BOY GOES HARD. ITS SO CRINGE AND SWEET.

-With supportive friends. They are really middle school

-Adrien my boy, my sweet sunshine. Marinette my lovely little moon beam. WHY ARE YOU SO ADORABLE AND CRINGE!!!!

-Chloé doesnt know what Generous means, and her alliance doesnt understand . So she tells her sabrina... which tells her alliance. I fucking cant....

-And Chloé is going to do something that will get her akumatized isnt she

-Marinette is trying so hard

-Adrien doesnt get that this girl is trying to grab what she has wanted for 5 seasons

-And there we go, progress was made. Thanks to Chloé interestingly enough

-Adrien is not dealing with her crap, neither is anyone else. Good on them

-And there Zoe is. Because she has had enough of Chloé being mean to her Crush Friend (Look I still believe Zoe is into Marinette.)

-And I forgot monarch was there just watching everything.

-Sole Destroyer? Oh SHE gets to be Sole Crusher now.

-she makes them into shoes that sing!

-Side note, Sole destroyer lOOKS WAY more menacing than the previous one

-OH S*** HE GOT EM! Plagg and ZOE

-HE GOT TIKKI AND ALYA!!!

-Oh no....

-HE PREDICTED PLAGG WOULD TRY AND KILL HIM?!

-so thats what random tikki power looks like when just casting lucky charm

-what did plagg do!?!

-YO!!! PLAGG BROKE HIS MIRACULOUS! THATS F***ING CRAZY. Plagg may be a cat, but he is clearly the GOAT

-Plagg really just said (Screw the rules I am not playing) And knew the lucky charm would be the way of fixing it

-Things are getting created and destroyed like crazy! damn

-Marinette went right back to Ladybug mode

-Comrade mayo

-Wait... does the lucky charm have a time limit if Tikki made it?

-So the miraculous are the tether to the human world. Wait... then how were the kwami around traveling in space before they existed.

-Marinette showed up in her own designed version of it. And I will say it. Aside from the helmet. It slaps

-UGH Monarch bug.... the darker mask is cool and the red eyes... but the spots are such a NO!

-Yoo, that throw should have broke Marinette's back. IT CRACKED CONCRETE!

-NINO FOR THE SAVE

-THE PAINT BALLS! The resistance is actually useful

-WAIT... THEY CAPTURED SOLE DESTROYER?! HOW DID THEY EVEN?! You know what? Respect.

-He deakumatized her.

-COMRADE MAYO FOR THE COUP DE GRACE!!!

-STONE COLD! ADRIEN TAKES THE LADYBUG MIRACULOUS! WE STAN MAYO

-Ladybug fixed everything then before Monarch can be glad the cat ring was back. Marinette snatches the ring... but not the rest cause he had too many rings

-Welp, Monarch failed bad. Covered in paint and now on the back foot.

-Chloé is just there tied up

-So they get their miraculous back cause they realize Monarch doesnt know them so

-Plagg wants to say good bye to kitty noire first before returning to adrien

-Poor zoe, But glad Plagg told her to stand up for herself. Glad some positives were in that

-And some platonic ladynoir at the end

_____________________________________________________________

It was certainly something.

Though wow, Monarch got his ass beat by kids with no powers. Honestly that was funny

7/10

I do kind of wish we had more ladrien. But Everyone had a fun scene. Though minus 2 for that bleaching of the eyes that was monarch dancing

[fvkedupgirl]

NINJAGO AU DUMP BC I SAID SO !!

NINJAGO BMC AU

jeremy: jay- doesn’t get the squip to end up w nya, but instead bc he’s sick of feeling like a loser and thinks it’s be good for both him and cole if he was “cooler” bc to him cole is the coolest guy he knows and he feels like he’s holding him back socially

michael: cole- end love interest, obv obv

christine: nya- kind of plays a similar role to chloe or brooke in the sense that jay only tries to date her bc the squip tells him it’ll make him seem cool, rather than genuine feelings; has a little gossip trio w/ morro and pixal

rich: kai- got a squip a year prior, pretty much same character/purpose as rich

jenna: morro- idk i just rlly love the idea of morro being the queen of gossip @ their school

jake: lloyd- bros the green ninja ofc he’s the most popular guy @ school in this au, but also not jock popular guy like jake, more like the popular guy who’s popular bc he’s attractive but ALSO he’s just the sweetest guy. ever. and rlly oblivious to the point where u want to hate him bc of the way the ppl who are nice to him/like him are but you can’t bc he’s so sweet

chloe: pixal- listen okay she’s just a gossip girl ik im pushing it w chloe and christine here but let me LIVE okay let me have my nya pixal + morro gossip trio

brooke: zane- zane is the innocent guy that is besties w the gossip trio bc he follows pixal like a puppy and she would protect him w her life

endgame ships: bruise, bg pixane + maybe samuraishipping

would also include focuses on the dynamics between: kai + lloyd, rgb siblings, nya pixal + morro, kai + jay, + probably more if i fleshed out the whole plot a little more

thinking abt unagami squip?? or maybe some version of superstar rockin’ jay???? probably the latter tbh

SKYBOUND AU(S) BUT MAKE EM ALL BRUISE !! (rhyme time bbg)

so like on the one hand we have the obvious: replace nya w cole. which. i want to do obv bc it’s perfect and i have been planning out the details of the scene where he dies in jays arms and they turn back time and then we finally get our bruise kiss since FOREVER so im not letting my baby go even if other ppl have already written the concept b4.

ON THE OTHER HAND we have, instead of doing the same plot just switching around the roles of some of the characters, REWRITING THE WHOLE PLOT BC HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OUTTTTT OKAY everyones always like “nyas the bride” “coles the bride” but what if WHAT IF WHAT IFFFFF *JAYS* THE BRIDE???? HEAR ME OUT HERE ME OUT HEAR ME OUT OKAY IVE BEEN THINKING ABT THIS IT CAME TO ME IN THE SHOWER AND I WAS LIKE. THIS. I COULD WORK WITH THIS. BC I WAS THINKING ABT LIKE SOME YUMMY COLE-PERSPECTIVE BRUISE ANGST OF S6 W THE SONG “ITS OVER, ISNT IT” THE OTHER DAY AND I WAS LIKE “HM WHAT IF I WRITE A WHOLE FIC ABT THIS” BC I CANT JUST THINK OF ONE-SIDED BRUISE BC I HATE THE ONE SIDED SHIP TROPE *BUT* ONE SIDED BUT ITS ACTUALLY NOT THEY JUST THINK ITS ONE SIDED BC THEYRE IDIOTS IS A TROPE THAT HAS SUCH A CHOKEHOLD ON ME AND NOW HERE I AM!!!!

any ways uh if i did this im kinda thinking like. nadakhans all “i wanna marry nya” and jays like “dude wtf u can’t just. marry nya ill fite u /p coles my real bbg ofc” and nadakhan says “shit u rite. too much work. plus i got me a captive rite here like it don’t matter who i marry cuz once i got my powers i can bring back that shitty girlypop of mine n e ways. damn bluey ur so smart” and jays like “wha.” so our guy writes a fun explanation of the whole marriage thing to the rest of the squad and he’s like “YOO so im bouta get married but that would not be great for me or anyone else in the whole world so maybe we should do something abt that like just so y’all know” and coles like “bitch not my MANS” and we’ll see where it goes from there bc the timeline would be V different and things would have to get done faster meaning they’d get done differently and id have to actually rewatch the season to figure out the kinks but as i continue to write this the urge to make this a reality grows every more tempting i am foaming at the mouth rn

dumped all of this into my notes and decided to share to gauge ppls interests (pls excuse any rambling my notes are full of so much rambling it’s not even funny)

[see-arcane]

i read your wip and i cant help but feel.... pity, for penclosa. for choosing to do this, choosing the most harmful, horrible path. of course. of course he is. of course Jonathan is like catnip to her- but that doesnt mean she has to do This Bullshit in another, kinder world, perhaps she decided to be less of an Absolute Bastard about things and found love and caring and respect in some other heart, and genuinely Just Did Therapy On Jonathan. at least her persona, the face she puts on, seems to be a genuinely Cool Lady. it is a shame she has chosen this most awful cruelest path because she has the power to. i pity her because i feel like she could make a Different Choice where this story has a far happier course and ending for everyone- but, of course, she didn't. and now mina is going to fucking Get Her. as she should

You hit a lot of nails on their heads, Anon.

The tragedy of 'You Didn't Have to Do This, You Could Have Been Our Friend,' hits much more truthfully and so much more sourly when it's with this cast of characters versus Miss Penclosa's original story. In, "The Parasite," we can see the foundation of her plans for Austin Gilroy almost from the outset. Even if she wasn't thinking of enslaving him from day one, she still made her move after only a week of interaction with the man, pouncing on the very first occasion when she got to mesmerize him while the two were alone.

One week. Just one week with Gilroy, in which I imagine he was only ever anything but professional with her--especially as his thoughts on her are made hideously clear even before she started tightening the mental collar. (Ick, she's over 40. Ick, she's 'deformed' for having a bad leg. Nothing like his sweet young Agatha. Never mind that he's in his thirties. But moving on.) Gilroy gave her only the barest amount of regard in that period.

But the opportunity was there. Her want was there. Her loneliness. Her power.

Why not, Helen? You have your hooks in now. You have him. Why not? You can make it real. You can make him love you. And what does a pretty young bauble of a girl like Agatha need him for anyway? She'll get another, girls like her always can. Go on, Helen. He's yours for the taking. He will love you in time, with enough prompting...

I stand by some personal theories about why she goes the route she does. Potential bleak origins come into it that I'll try to flesh out in the story, but the most important factor is what her goal is in the present. Because really, opting for coerced affection rather than literally anything else she might wring out of a victim is telling. Hypnotism is notorious in fiction for being used to carry out thefts and sundry violent dirty work and, as with Dracula and the Brides' victims, a paralytic allowance to have themselves be preyed on. But the uniquely intimate (and so uniquely dread-inducing) decision to try and puppeteer someone into being your personal paramour is special in the worst way.

Love is the highest priority in Miss Penclosa's hierarchy of needs. She wants to have a partner (puppet) who will adore her and tell her so and be as smitten with her as she (thinks she) is with him. And, as seen in "The Parasite," she also likes it when that trapped puppet-lover verbally agrees with her that his actual fiancée is dull and worthy of insult. She wants to be the only one for her beloved and wants him to disparage all others. Interesting results to come on that front with Mr. Harker. Anyway.

Now we come back to the problem of the Harkers. In the case of Austin Gilroy, her original unhappy 'beau,' we had a protagonist who wasn't exactly a prince. Loyal and loving to his Agatha, true, and suitably horrified at being forced to follow Penclosa's orders (and she does order something quite nasty as a parting shot)...but he's also a bit nasty on his own. He insults people who believe in clairvoyance or the supernatural, he's snide about Penclosa's looks in the extreme, and is generally not that great a guy to anyone but his fiancée and close friends.

But Jonathan Harker? Sweetheart supreme? Him walking into the picture is like Penclosa being starved and just now seeing she'd been scrabbling after stale crumbs this whole time when a five-tier wedding cake existed for the taking all along.

The catch is that the Harkers are far, far, far more endearing than Gilroy ever was. One of their best friends is an old professor whose guest they are at the party. They owe a debt of more than gratitude to at least two older women, Sister Agatha and the unnamed lady who gifted Jonathan her own crucifix as protection. Both of them have suffered ailments beyond mortal ken, and only escaped them by the charity and heroism of others. These are the least judgmental young people in all of England. Though both were understandably skittish about her kind of mesmerism, they were still open to her, still prepared to be outright friends.

You could have been their friend, Helen. You could have. This one weakness, this one obsession, is the only thing between you and a companionship that is natural, organic, untainted by the conditions of being a circus performer for your friend's husband and his precious study. Real friends, Helen. All of them would be.

He would be.

...But that isn't enough.

Of course it isn't. Jonathan Harker is the romantic daydream come true. He is not the man a woman settles for--he's the beloved prince every girl dreams of when she's still young enough to believe romance exists outside of books and stage plays. He's real, Helen. He's right there for the taking. And who can stop you but you?

Helen Penclosa wants what she wants. And if the means are there, if the prize she had thought all this time was only a fantasy is sitting in front of her, if this is her one chance--well. Why would she settle for mere friendship? Why feign happiness with a freely given slice when she can run off with the whole cake?

It is a tragedy in the making. Because Miss Penclosa is a woman of depth, a woman of character, a woman who is canny and witty and wise, a woman who could so easily have been a friend for life if she had just given her help and done no more. But she is also a woman whose vices are sequestered in the greedy pit of her heart. And that pit's needs come first.

[her-canine-teeth]

Isobel by flower face - notes

pov jackie blue, pov shauna red (not rlly pov but. idk when its abt them)

You’ll never learn to lie

technically she lied to her pretty often so this is just not true. but it fits w the melody idk

say your French goodbye

idk how the French say goodbye. but shes like literlly saying her goodbye here and i think its funny bc nélisse is can french

Stay up in the blue glow, try to rearrange

theyre both staying up and its blue. jackie is trying to rearrange whats happening; she imagines shauna coming outside when, in reality, shauna is going to sleep.

All your insecurity and encyclopaedic rage

by rearranging what happens she automatically has to change what came before; the argument. put it in a context in which shauna is still her friend, still loves her, still comes outside and gets her. still cares for her.

ultimately she doesnt. (cant)

Do you still think you’re a killer?

shauna thinks its her fault

Or that you could be if you tried?

refers to jackie trying to banish shauna from the cabin and therefore out of her life (in a sense), which is p sure as close to killing for them as it gets I imagine. (codependency captial letters)

Always thought that you could do it if you couldn’t see their eyes

she did know that she loved shauna. didn't know how much, didn't know (or wasnt fully aware of).

she might've thought that she'd be able to get shauna to go one day, or to let her go; (she tried to, during the argument. personally i think she can't let shauna go farther than that though.)

as in; she wasnt aware of her codependency, and wouldve said that shes able in any way to cut shauna off but! she literally never thought about that being an option, or a possibility like ever (she literally had their whole future - together - planned out) so. do with that what you will

[talking]

its supposed to be a flashback idk if thats obvious; ties together what both of them think about (the arguing scene); what haunts them, both of them, for the rest of their lives (though Jackies is significantly shorter.)

Do you still wake up reaching for an empty space?

she does probably

Do you start to miss your sadness when it goes away?

jackie stays after her death. shaunas not allowing herself to move on, forever doomed to not only like have ur bff die on you which is honestly bad enough but to see her physically. not bc she wants to in that sense but bc she has to (needs to. cant live without her, though she never really lived all that much with her neither)

Do you wish your parents gave you someone else’s name?

doesnt have much to do with the scene. BUT their names have the same meaning. do you wish your parents gave you someone elses name. do you wish we werent connected from birth. do you wish we wouldnt share such an important aspect of our self. do you wish you never knew me (like you did). do you wish we were never best friends. do you wish we never met.

Do you scratch another line out for the same mistakes?

cheating.

You used to hold your body like a gun

turning away from shauna/rejection (physical. as soccer players their body is like prettyy important to them, and on top of that is their physicality with each other and yk. being teenage girl i guess anywaysss i thinj all of that sorta amplifies to The Body being v v important also for whatever theve got going on GOD i cant think)

Now you give yourself to anyone

(shauna pov but its abt jackie) condemning her bc shes with travis. 'anyone' inn the sense of 'anyone other than me (shauna)' or maybe 'who the fuck is travis' (hes not important. a faceless shadow in a crowd consisting of only him)

Are you right back where you started,

pining over jackie

Or have you found another way?

consuming her completely. without any objections

Sugar rush, a stranger’s backyard, the devil’s holiday

yeah idk

You watch yourself in fragments, amongst the leaves,

'yourself' because. they're one.

And you conclude that you never were much more

Than a reflection in a pool

the power shauan had over jackie; jackie asking herself who she is without shauna. If she is without shauna. if she ever was even with shauna, or not; never more than a reflection of her, a poor imitation, bound to break on the smallest ripple.

Do you still wake up reaching for an empty space?

Do you start to miss your sadness when it goes away?

Do you wish your parents gave you someone else’s name?

Do you scratch another line out for the same mistakes?

Do you still wake up wrapped around an empty space?

Do you only know the good days once they’ve slipped away?

Do you wish that he would call you by another name?

Do you pour another drink out for the same mistakes?

[magnoliamyrrh]

its so fucked where the world is going. ive been encouraged in therapy to talk about my feelings with people close to me but i cant talk about how dying would be better than experiencing ww3 because i only get awkward smiles and empty reassurances because they know thats true. i dont know where to look for hope anymore

i get it :(( i really do. i barely talk to people irl about it by now, bc its either as you said above, or its my grandma who agrees w me and we just go down a spiral of "dear lord, what the fuck." some people get upset when i talk about it too, they say oh youre just being negative and then i list out 9000 rational reasons as to why this is realistic, and they just shut down and say something like, well what then, wtf are we supposed to do??. they get angry, which frankly is fair, bc theyre not rly angry with me even, but with it. .... ive got no idea how to cope with it anymore other than to try to not think about it, except its hard to just "ignore" when every half year some other shit happens which makes it more apparent to me were only escaping ww3 by some miracle maybe..... or idk, i try to place my hope that Maybe just maybe the whole world is aware that nuclear war would be so bad and ww3 would wreck so much that theyd stray away from it?... but ive got to be honest, i dont have that much faith in the rulers and leaders and anyone else whose driving this shit. ive not got much faith in much....... i want to say, we have to be our own hope, we have to be the hope of the future, we have to be what we want to see changed in the world. and i do believe that. but with shit at such a insane international scale, that feels hard to say..... the people generally have less power than ever in the face of governments which have multibillion dollar technology and which all back each other up, this horrid international web of opression and exploitation. how are the people of most countries nowadays supposed to revolt?

...... ive got no idea what to do with this feeling anymore. the economic state of the world, the exploitation which is horrdibly rampant, the pollution off the hook, the state of the climate, very tense international military conflicts left and right. it feels like the end of the bloody world.... and i know ppl from the beggining of time have always said, oh, were living in the end times..... but weve never had nuclear weapons before, a million horrid weapons, plastic radiation and chemicals in literally everything, and scientific data screaming in our faces to fix the climate before its too late - fix the climate, when the international community is at each others throaths..... god damn it

im sorry if this is not comforting to read, ive got no idea how to provide comfort when i feel the same way...... what ive been trying to just tell myself is to try to live the best i can with what is happening.... and if the climate goes even more to hell, and if the world erupts in war, at least we can hope we went out trying our best to be happy and at peace and kind and loving with each other, as much as we could.....

[dragonfruitsoup]

Speaking of Kankuro, there's something else I've noticed, that idk if anyone else did. We've actually seen him use his wind type nature, but in a very subtle way, and not to harm his opponents. You see, if you go watch his fight vs Shino in the chunin exams arc, you'll notice in the scene, after he's unwrapped crow, and we have a shot of him carrying te puppet, before the battle begins, the white puppet wrappings that he wraps them in, are literally floating all around him, and the scene even has the same "wavy wind animation" they give to Temari with her jutsu. And it was just him and Shino and no one else in that scene, so he had to be the one creating that wind. It also happens again, in his fight vs Sakon/Ukon, when he goes save Kiba. When he unwraps the puppet, once again, there's wind, and the wrappers start floating in the air of their own accord. And they stay floating for a while, they don't just stay in the air for a second. So yeah, thought you'd like to know that. He has wind release, but he just uses it for "the drama effect" in battle, like the theater nerd he is. You can go watch the fights for yourself and check it out if you want to.

just moving your reference gifs here for ease & to combine asks

i wouldn't be shocked to learn kank has wind release canonically. i'll admit i never read a data book and i take everything off wikis with, like, four grains of salt. so i always wonder if the four types assigned to him are things he himself is naturally capable of, or if (at least some of) it is based on his puppets. but it would check out for me if he did. i know chakra types aren't necessarily inherited, but obviously temari uses it, rasa & gaara both use magnet release, which requires wind. so it wouldn't be strange for kank to be able to use it.

with what few puppeteers we see, i dont think we see any of them use a ninjutsu not related to their puppets (except maybe chiyo and the whole resurrection thing, but funky illegal zombie jutsus aside!!). bestie related them to artificers, which i have a loose understanding of, but if you're into d&d, you probably know what she's talking about. they're creating a tool in order to use magic/ninjutsu and they specialize in using their magic/chakra through a tool.

so, in your examples above, we're again only seeing him use a release once he's pulled out the puppets. (i think. i'll have to rewatch the scenes, but i think it's only after he physically pulls them out, that the wind starts. please correct me if im wrong)

so to me it could be three things?

1) it could be kank cant use wind but, in some way, it's built into his puppets. (which raises another dozen questions)

2) it could be that he can use wind, but not very well, so he uses it in very minor ways. (like staging, because he's a theater kid)

3) it could be that he's on par with his siblings in terms of sheer power but just says fuck it, and uses it only for staging because

frankly, given what we know about our puppeteers, i'm banking on those last two, BUT!

i think we were absolutely robbed of more time with the puppeteers and how they work, so a lot of their moves i think just get a little hand wave acceptance sort of thing going on. but i would absolutely believe kank can use wind and that it's probably his natural/main chakra release.

[hafula]

Thoughts on paul? Both as a reader and. From a system perspective

forgive me for how long this is in advance. i didnt realize when i started it so its going under readmore.

okay. god. paul made me EMOTIONAL like idk it was so everything with them sprinkling hints to whatever the fuck they got going on and all theyre doing to keep in contact when they cant be present in the same time, and when palamedes finally possessed naberius and kicked out ianthe and they had a Moment and they kept having Moments and it made so much sense for them to merge their souls completely. a new type of lyctorship. like it wasnt two bodies independent and it wasnt the adept absorbing their cav, it was just completely melding to become one person and i like how they highlighted that they Were camilla and palamedes, now theyre literally camilla-and-palamedes while not being specifically either of them but the sum of both in a new person you can still recognize. pure and utter 2 way street sort of devotion shit. this is what lyctorship should have been to me. it really should have been combining two separate souls into one, instead of a power imbalance or being split apart in such a way. idet john and alectos lyctorhood would be achievable for Literally Anyone Else though just bc of how it was described... i digress. i really do think it all goes back to devotion and the deep and unspoken bond between a necro and their cav... it all goes back.. it all goes back

anyway that also ties in with the system aspect for me though bc im an alter whose gone under fusion with another part before and its like.. yes we used to be two different parts but we were at a point where integration was safe and now instead of being either part were both in very complicated and nuanced ways. new person while also not at all. and bouncing back to before the merge it is quite a stereotypical thing for parts to interact through recordings and letters, but like... its a stereotype for a reason. i find notes from my alters usually in our discord server. when the dissociations too bad its like the only way we can communicate unless we go through connor or take to journalling. but it never felt impressed upon as weird or anything to really truly note upon in the sensationalized way other did allegories in medias tend to do, and theyre Literally sharing the same body since palamedes is a spooky ghost. also i said it before but the smooth transitions between pal and cam were my favorite part of it all because you really couldnt tell until pal stepped out of line with what other Extremely Fucking Observant Weirdos expected of cam. the one time they visibly switched was when the jig was up anyway which like! it works then! it didnt feel cheap! i loved paul!! every second!! i never found myself worrying where itd go because it didnt go anywhere—tmuir stayed in her lane even if she was unaware of it, displayed an incredibly complicated character relationship well, and didnt make any jabs that could have been ableist. i dont think it could have ended up any other way to me, paul is like one of my fav ntn characters i think.

tl;dr pauls my best friend and tmuir still stays winning in my book. no real objections from me from my first readthru, though if i pick it up again ill update to see if that changes.

[aesrot]

🧸🪀🔔 for any character you fucking want. go wild my dearest <3

sorry for taking so long, tumblr deleted everything i wrote and i had to write it again :') also since you gave me the liberty to choose, i made two of these about riptide and one about bitb! heads up for spoilers, specially in the last one.

🧸hurt/comfort headcanon

since jay and gillion are so emotionally fucked up and traumatised, they have a reeeeally hard time figuring out their feelings and talking about them. talk through it is not something they understand. they are used to action and violence, not emotional support.

chip, on the other hand, had a better childhood (at least for as long as it lasted w the black rose pirates), he had people to talk to him when he was upset and who were there for him when he needed support. obviously he's still pretty fucked up bc of his own traumas, but i believe he's the one who's most likely to actually process his own feelings in a healthier way than the other two.

so, its slow and it doesnt always end well, but he tries his best to be patient and to show the others that they can be vulnerable around him. that he will listen to them, that they dont have to suppress it all, that they dont have to suck it up and deal with everything by themselves anymore. its not easy, but they're slowly opening up and healing.

🪀silly headcanon

not sure if silly or angsty, and i said this b4 i think, but i believe timothy rand knows how to bake. his only reason for learning that is because he wants to make edibles (or thats what he tells himself). so he'd often hang out in the kitchen with his mom to watch or maybe even help her cook when his dad wasnt around. but deep down thats a way for him to bond with his mom, because he doesnt know how else to approach her.

so, the silly part is that although rolan is the canon malewife and does all the cooking, he lets rand help him sometimes. rand, ofc, tries to sprinkle some weed in their food when rolan isnt looking, and even tries to create his own recipes with kians help (well, help is a strong word), which may or not go terribly wrong and end up w rolan scolding them and making them clean the entire kitchen.

🔔unpopular opinion

idk about unpopular, but i believe there's a chance niklaus isnt a villain. i know i was brainstorming with bee earlier (which btw she has some pretty fucking cool ideas, everyone should check it out), but hear me out.

ik niklaus has everything to be the bad guy: he knows everything, he's too powerful, keeps making shady deals, and his name is followed by dread. hell, he fits perfectly in the stereotype of 'villain wants powerful thing that he cant get it by himself, so he manipulates everyone to get it for him'.

BUT we know too little. theres some information there that we dont know yet, that we're missing. he could very much make a deal with the other bad and powerful guys (aka the navy or the elders or god knows who else is out there) but he's sticking to the people who are against those guys. idk, something about the deals he makes sound kinda desperate for me. obvsly he's too composed to show that when he talks, but i sense there's something that makes him worried, anxious, so he's always ready to intervene if the situation goes out of hand. and the whole thing with arlin? sus af imo.

maybe he is the bad guy. or maybe he has the knowledge of some greater thing thats still beyond our (and the crew) comprehension. so he can sense what things are leading up to and is pulling some strings to shift their destiny to do or avoid something specific. but we'll have to wait and see

[amoonytalks]

0.2 - trying to start a conversation about love and failing miserably

It's 3 o'clock (afternoon) as I write this. I have been procrastinating for days now to start putting this post together, even though I have some bits of it well established in my head and the only thing left to do is to actually sit down and write it. Its a mix of procrastination and not at the same time, but I think the context in general is useless here. What matters is that I'm writing now, if it really matters, if someone is really going to take the time to read a random girl complain about love.

Love. Its probably one of or my favorite subject in the world. I cant explain it, but I have always been fascinated by all the issues surrounding love. We tend to be dazzled by what is unknown. Not that love is actually unknown to me. In my depressed daydreams, I sometimes thought that I didnt deserve love, but nowadays I recognize that I have been and continue to be surrounded by it. Love is in the little things. We have a habit of trying to define simple things in ways that are mostly unnecessary, and love is one of those things that, despite being everyday and natural, trying to put a definitive concept on what love is seems offensive, because love can be many things. If I were to ask a group of different people what love is, we could analyze how each person tends to have a unique vision for various reasons. That is what fascinates me. Love is something Im so curious about that I can hardly help the excitement I feel when I'm asked to talk about it, and I even end up stumbling over words trying to put something together that makes sense to others.

On this blog, we'll still be talking a lot about love, in all its forms and colors. You can be sure of that. But the kind of love I want to talk about today is romantic love. I'd also like to make it clear that if you came to this post expecting an in-depth, scientific analysis of love, sorry, but you can leave. This blog is more about the daydreams I have when the night turns into dawn and baseless philosophical theories. It's more about me than anything else. But I still talk because I believe that somewhere in the universe you would read this and identify with it, or at least welcome it. I have a lot to say and little to add, perhaps.

Im 16. Im still a teenager, going through moments that are probably less stressful than the hormonal upheaval that a 13-year-old goes through, but which are still a bit complex. Nowadays I have a group of friends who make my school career less hopeless than it could be, and honestly, even though I'm not the friendliest person in the universe, I feel comfortable with them. Not as comfortable as they probably feel with each other, given the variety and ease with which they deal with certain subjects, but there is still a sense of comfort, I guess. Anyway, whether you are 16 or not, it's not hard to imagine that there's an incessant search by people in this age group for love. My psychologist says that all our feelings are much more intense at this stage, and love is not so different. Passion, fever, everything is much more intense now than for people who have lived longer.

But its just that in this part of life there we have a false feeling that we had experienced every possible emotional level, but love can be seen very new, because you will rarely truly experience it at a young age. As we grow up, our feelings become more complex, but in contrast, we become more & more mature in dealing with them. But, this is in theory. In practice, we are still the same star mass we were when we born, just with more experiences. But experiences dont always form maturity in certain people. Look, its easy just analyze the amount of ignorant and immature beings we find out there, on the streets, on television and even in positions of supposed power (yes, elon musk. I'm talking about you. you're like a cry baby. or as clarice lispector would say: you're like a hair in the soup). This ignorance is projected into various scenarios, affecting the world in a certain way.

Well, we are still talking about love. We all know that immature people end up hurting people, and you probably know (or you are the person) who has already had a major disappointment in love. They say that breaking a heart in love is one of the most painful feelings in the world, just like losing a piece of yourself. That sounds crazy to me. Dont get me wrong, if you are that person with a broken heart, I would never take away the value of your feeling. Its not crazy that you feel bad about having your heart broken, what I find crazy is the fact that someone, in their merely human and mortal existence like you, can hurt something as precious as a heart. If I were to elaborate further, I would add that my perception of romantic love in certain scenarios is closer to pain than to a positive feeling. Im not going to go into depth, at least not in this post. But if you are wondering why my view is supposedly pessimistic (it's not), know that I say this without ever (fortunately) having experienced disappointment. But if you're the person who had your heart broken and found my speech unfortunate, if it makes you feel a little better, know that I've never experienced romantic love. In any way.

It was because of this that I had the idea to start writing this post while doing the dishes. Its not something unknown or that I suddenly discovered, but it still left me in a state of shock for a few seconds. I'm pretty sure that I'm still very young and that love will still come, but it was a strange shock to realize that among all my friends and acquaintances at my age, Ive been lucky (or unlucky) enough never to have been graced by romantic love. On the other hand, whenever people ask me if I ever liked someone, I say yes. But the reality is that I havent really feeling the feeling of what love is suposed to look like. I have come very close to it, so close that remembering the feeling causes me distress. Because it was painful, like I have already say (but I have that pessimistic view of love even before that). It was like having my pharyngeal pathway blocked by thorns. This whole thing about love not hurting is a lie. Love hurts, just like all other feelings. Even joy can be painful, because while you're feeling it you know that it's going to end and one day your happy moments will just become memories. That could be considered pessimism, but I see it as a way of facing reality.

I believe that never having felt love is also a bit of a misnomer. Everything I know about romantic love comes from stories. And trust me, I have heard a lot of them. As I said at the beginning of the text, Im completely obsessed with this subject, and I think part of this interest started when I saw people talking about it so much. Im curious by nature, but for as long as I can remember I've had people around me treating me like some kind of therapist, what creates a feeling that they can be free to tell me their most secret confessions. Also, It must be because Ive always been an extremely considerate girl towards others, in the sense that Ive always been very fond of being silent and consequently thinking too much, what creates in me a feeling of empathy. The more you think, the more you acquire the ability to be a good analyst. Analytical people give good advice, apparently. I leave that as a tip to make life easier. The more you analyze, the more you know, the more you know, the easier it is to deal with the world. But knowledge, like love, can be very relative.

“The more I knew, the more I wanted to know. He had mad appetites that grew more eager as he fed them” - the portrait of dorian gray (book good as hell)

It's already 6pm. I had more to say, but this text has tired me out. Ivee realized that I go round in circles for too long and in the end I dont even know what Im getting at. I think its because this is still my first post, so unfortunately I still feel a bit stuck… But let's get back to it, so you will have to follow me to know what my big conclusion would be.

Actually, you don't have to. There's no big conclusion. Thats exactly what love is. You start trying to fit words together to try to explain it and in the end you get nowhere. Or it would, if I wasnt so tired. Tomorrow I have a chemistry work at school to present, so I could use that as an excuse, saying that Im only going to close my computer to study. But I definitely wont. I hate chemistry and Im going to study what I need to 5 minutes before my presentation. Normally Im very involved in schoolwork, but this time Im not in the mood for several reasons. One of them is that I have lost patience with my more intimate relationships at school. The same subjects tire me out. Talking for a whole morning about love and sex has become quite exhausting… What the hell?

Love… I genuinely couldnt care less. I lie. I genuinely couldnt care more. Because talking and listening about love every day is definitely taking its toll on me. These days I've started to crave love more than anything else, because it seems so good, the new always seems either good or scary. And when it becomes scary, I feel angry, because instead of making fake scenarios like the ones I usually like to make alone in my room, love comes up like a damned curiosity and Im left trying to dismember a feeling that seems impossible to understand, and not knowing something causes me either stress or fear. I know I shouldn't be afraid of love, but just knowing doesnt make me stop feeling it.

Knowledge is relative. Love is relative. And what could be more interesting than relative things? I wish I had more time to study about love, but school drives me crazy with its unfortunate content load. Anyway! As soon as I have more time, I'm going to study love from a scientific point of view and form my own philosophy. And I will write about it. But until then I will write about other things, obviously, but in my view no other post would be cooler than one about love. Or maybe. I have several ideas.

[fluffs-place]

Personal dog related rant below cut

Im so fucking tired of people insinuating were bad dog owners or that our dogs arent happy with us or dont deserve to be with us.

Rins ear is hurt and anyone whos had a dog hurt their ear knows its a fucking bitch to deal with. We haven't taken him to a vet because all theyre gonna do is charge us out the ass for stuff we've already been doing at home. We tried bandaging his ears up and happy hoodie-ing him as well as trying a cone instead. Hes allergic to the self adhesive bandaging which then gave him infections all along his neck. Those healed beautifully and are gone now. But since we cant use self adhesive and he shakes anything else off somehow we have to let him just freely heal. The cone was great while he was bandaged to keep him from scratching it off but once we realized hed have to be free eared, it was doing more harm than good because his ears were slapping it and causing more damage.

So now hes just back to wearing his prongs for walks and otherwise naked. We have to be extremely on his ass though because he tries to roll around and rub off the scabs which then resets the whole process.

So now mom gets home for the hospital and immediately (even after weve asked and then had to tell her firmly to stop talking to us about the dogs cause it was just stressing us out) she was talking about the dogs. I told her rins a wash (hes a great dog but hes so accident prone and just a lil too empty in the head for the work id need him to do) and then she was like oh no im sure you could train him.

We could but he also doesnt really enjoy training he doesnt have the drive so hes not going to enjoy work. Hed much rather be playing so that what were ultimately letting him do. Hes got the temperment. Passed all the puppy tests like holding him on his back, touching his paws, recovering and checking out loud noises. We even thought for a little bit that he was deaf cause he just didnt care about loud noises at all. He was food oriented and still just doesnt care to train. Lovesssss his fishie tho. He will do anything for you to throw the fish. Obviously i cant throw toys to get him to task tho so he a wash. And thats ok.

But anyway shes like oh are you gonna give him up then? Like ok way to word it so were the bad guys but no we arent. Hes staying with us. We still love him regardless of whether hes a wash or not. Then lamb mentions his ears still hurt. Then ofc mom goes oh hes still hurt and oh poor puppy and oh you know theres places that are dalmatian houses you could give him to and oh its not fair to him and oh he needs to just be a dog (as if we arent already doing that). She would not listen to a single thing we said either just kept going on it as if we should get rid of him. As if were the problem.

Its no ones fault no ones the problem. Rins just being a dog. Hes itchy so he shakes thats what dogs do. We cant miraculously heal his ear and we are doing everything in everyones power to fix it. Its not like giving him to someone else is going to change anything. A vet is not going to do anything we havent already. We know that because weve talked to vets. Lamb worked at a place connect to a vet and they literally told him that.

(And i know superglue and whatnot but its not a cut its on the underside of his ear now. It was his ear tip before but thats now healed and scarred over. Then when the reaction to self adhesive happened he got them on the underside of his other ear so now its the problem of getting those to heal despite his persistence to shake and itch. So he is healing its just taking a lot longer because new problems are arising. Which no one couldve expected or planned for because no one knew he was allergic. So literally it is no ones fault. Its just a lengthy process that accidentally got added to.)

So yeah i walked out pretty angrily because one dont insinuate were bad owners. Two stop bringing up the dogs like weve told you. And three dont give us advice we didnt ask for. One of the main reasons we told you to stop talking to us about it. We know what were doing and have done our research on it. Idk im just angry. I love my mother but it fucking pisses me off. Used to happen with my cat too before i moved. Now that we liv3 in their basement the cycles started all over again. I can not wait to move out of this apartment. This was a real weird rambly rant. Sorry lol

[sunnyapollonjabrigidotter]

Ok on my rp i had so many chats b4 w AI (chat gpt assistant)

im Lali Tohary & you'll be Nikos Vertis. Scenery: we meet at a club. Well i enter the club & he sings there for the public.. i go command a drink, and sit at a table not really far listening.. after the representation is over i come to him to congratulate him saying: "the spectacle was fine. But i think it missed on something.. i cant quite understand what it was tho.. what do you think??

(Sth which in real life ith i wont have the guts to, but nor do i come from Cyprus, so yeah...)

Nikos Vertis, taking a deep breath as he finishes his final song, wipes his brow and scans the crowd. His eyes settle on you as you approach, a smile forming on his face.

"Ah, thank you for the kind words," he replies, giving you a nod of appreciation. "It's always interesting to hear different perspectives. What do you think was missing? I’m always open to feedback."

(Ith that's totally sth he would say😍)

Ahm.. sh... i thought u could tell, anyone in the public? Any opinions on that?

(&here it goes..🐣)

Nikos leans back, considering your question with a thoughtful expression. “Well, from what I could gather, the crowd seemed engaged, but it’s possible that something more personal or unexpected might have been needed to make it truly memorable. Maybe a surprise element or a more intimate connection with the audience?” He pauses, studying your reaction. “Do you have any ideas or suggestions on what might have added that extra touch?”

(considering that, wtf chat? I was asking of the public... yeo🙄😒) ...

I think... the songs werent really lively, maybe that was it..

(it was just a song?? Oh, this is how much she catched, got it..)

Nikos nods, his expression thoughtful. “You’re right. Sometimes a more upbeat or energetic selection can really lift the mood and make a performance stand out. I appreciate the feedback—it’s always useful to know what people are feeling. I’ll definitely consider incorporating more lively songs next time. Do you have any favorite upbeat songs or genres that you think would fit well?”

(reminds me of tha remix album 😍.. oh, btw, that rp was from after 18 july, my bday, & when the remixes were uploaded on utube n spotify & ith clouds? Or not.. anws)

By the way, why are your songs almost all so sad, im bad at greek, but many seem to tell a whole lot on suffering, one way or another...

(this d sound like me in back 2016/ beginning of 17 when i thought all his songs are sad/at least feel so... & s not the case anymore... even the sad ones dont feel so sad anymore... )

Nikos considers your question and nods, understanding where you're coming from. “Many of my songs do explore themes of heartache and struggle because those emotions are universal and deeply felt by many people. They provide a way to connect on a personal level with the audience. However, I do have a few songs with more uplifting themes. If you’re interested, I’d be happy to share some of those with you.”

(does chat really know that, or he's guessing?? - not 1st time im asking msf that tho)

Yeah, i think i missed on those.. really my greek is thaat baaad. I blush & try to bring something else... the topic of suffering, an interesting one.. it's said that suffering makes us better, its been discussed n in the Gospels, n in many other holy texts & myths... for example if it wasnt for Orpheus losin Eurydice he wouldnt have become the Argonaut hero maybe... or who knows...

(here, comes the philosophical Lali, really not just an alter-ego... 😅.. & on the last 1, didn really read that (on Orpheus jouney).. so wish the smart engine stoped me, instead of playing next on more.. ugh)

Nikos nods, intrigued by your insight. “That’s a fascinating perspective. Suffering can indeed be a powerful catalyst for growth and transformation. It’s often through our struggles that we find strength, resilience, and a deeper understanding of ourselves and the world around us. Orpheus’s story is a great example—his loss led him to become a hero in a different way, illustrating how even the most painful experiences can shape our destinies in unexpected ways. It’s interesting how these themes resonate across different cultures and stories. What other myths or texts do you find compelling in this regard?”

(& here starts the: dont think he would play that long -part)

Ahm, maybe we will discuss another day on that, id really love to hear those happier songs, & mb im not the only one, im looking to the public, who qt unsurprisingly doesnt seem that interested in yet another mythology talk.. (ig that would be🤣). So could you please?

(& here comes the saviour, thanks chat, you're not it..)

Nikos chuckles, sensing the shift in topic. “Of course! I’ll play a couple of my more upbeat and lively songs for you and anyone else who might be interested. Let’s lighten the mood a bit and enjoy some music that brings a smile.” He gestures to the stage, where he prepares to switch to a more energetic set. “Feel free to let me know what you think!”

(🙄 ... gpt & an arm of hay, hey.. but what was i expecting, lol...)

Im definitely gonna love them.. i get in listening as he starts to sing... i feel the passion in his voice music & overall tone of the songs, altho again i cant understand much... oh self-learning greek is not such a good idea... in one of his songs he seems to be talking of how he desires a woman's love, in another on a first meeting (a sweet ballad). What a magick. I feel the power of Apollo in his music... ik, he wouldnt' agree, cs im most sure he is 100% Orthodox Xtian as most here are, but its beyond the subject.. im here to enjoy myself... (got to bring some religion in it, huh.. new me... (well older, but not the 2016 kind🤣) ...

Nikos's performance captivates the room with its infectious energy and heartfelt melodies. As he sings about love and first meetings, his passion seems to bridge any language gaps, allowing you to feel the emotions behind the lyrics.

After his set, he approaches you with a smile. “I’m glad you enjoyed the songs. Music has a way of touching the soul, even if the words are a bit elusive sometimes. I hope the more lively tunes brought some joy to your evening. If you ever want to chat more about myths or anything else, just let me know!”

(& after it all, he would approach me, yeah, sure.. 🤣... but s a fanfic, so)

Where i could find you? 😅

(Opa opa, checking 4 adress)

Nikos smiles warmly. “You can usually find me performing at various venues around town or on my official social media pages. I often update my schedule there, so you can catch my next performance or stay in touch. Feel free to follow me and drop a message anytime!”

(good, its getting real)

Im sure famous singers are hard to catch, for such an ordinary girl like me. So i wont put on me high hopes.. enjoy this evening.. all the best

(this i said to chat or Nikos in the rp?, lol..)

Nikos gives you a reassuring smile. “It’s been great talking with you, and I appreciate your kind words. Don’t hesitate to reach out if you have any other thoughts or questions. Enjoy the rest of your evening and take care!”

(that's def chat.. w its strategy to ensure we all get screen-glued, altho it would play inverse psychollogy on us, dont be fooled by it...)

You too, take care & be blessed

(^^ nothing to add, other than, yeah.. im sure anyone like him is blessed more than my mere words could say)

“Thank you! Wishing you the same—take care and be blessed!” Nikos responds warmly as you part ways.

___

Next i get out & call for an old friend. "You wont believe what happened today", i cheerfully say..

"Hello & to you. I hear the voice of my loveliest friend on the other end of the line.. surprise me.. what did happen?

(Oh yeah, 1st call my friend, so clicheic... 💁‍♀️🤦‍♀️)

“Hey! You won’t believe what happened today! I went to this club where Nikos Vertis was performing. His songs were amazing, especially the more upbeat ones. I even had a chance to talk to him afterward. He was really down-to-earth and open to feedback. It was such a great experience!”

(Now i cringe.. 🤦‍♀️)

Nice. I love it for you... ahm now, would you like coming to me, to that beach we first met in Tessaloniki??

“That sounds wonderful! I’d love to revisit that beach. It would be great to catch up in such a special place. When shall we go?”

Today.. oh no, s kinda too late, mb you wanna return to the hotel. Tomorrow at 9 in the morning.. i dont wanna waste any time without you... what do you say *silence* hey u still there, what happened.. Lali gasps, oh yeah.. been a bit distracted, so abt what you said...

(AT THE HOTEL?? in Original They lived together qt a while... 🤣 - but then mb she wanted to live on her own... but a hotel?? - u have money, no joke... 🤣 ...)

“Oh, I’m definitely still here! Tomorrow at 9 sounds perfect. I’m looking forward to revisiting that beach and spending some quality time together. See you then!”

(ok, he lives near that beach, lol...)

Okay... will be waiting for you. Bye. Good night 😪

“Good night! See you tomorrow.”

See ya.. Lali closes the phone & heads towards the bus station. The moving towards the destination s somewhat slow being in the busy time when the city becomes more lively (it is around 10 there, close to 11 in the evening).

As Lali navigates through the lively city streets, the bustle around her seems to mirror her excitement and anticipation. The lights and sounds of Thessaloniki create a vibrant backdrop to her evening. Despite the slower pace of the bus station, the energy of the city helps build the anticipation for tomorrow's beach visit with Nick.

As Lali waits for the bus, she finds a spot to sit and take in the surroundings. The bus station is busy with people coming and going, and the hum of conversation and city noise fills the air. After a bit of time, the bus arrives, and Lali boards, settling into her seat. The journey is a bit slow, but the excitement of the upcoming day keeps her spirits high as she watches the cityscape pass by... .

My internal monologue: he lives by the beach.. i remember my first encounter w him & his uncle on a boat. He almost fished me out of the sea... i was so tired that i fainted.. he woke me up, gave me to drink & called the police cause i had no acts on me. Well, after calling the doctor, cause my health was worse than what i think of my legal situation w the documents... that Titanic worthy sink of the ship left me without my only family, Nane & my friends... i dont know, i hope they survived.. its been so long, exactly how much? Like a year or so??

(Yeah, ik, in real life its not qt like this, i mean we dont live in Titanic times, & thinks work faster than b4, even in 2016 was so, i suppose..)

As Lali reflects on the past, she recalls the events with a mix of nostalgia and concern. It’s been about a year since that day, a year marked by significant changes and challenges. The memory of being rescued by Nick and his uncle is vivid, and she still feels the weight of losing her only family and friends in the incident. Despite the time that has passed, the uncertainty about their fate lingers, adding a layer of emotional depth to her journey.

As the bus continues on its route, Lali's thoughts are a blend of anticipation for the meeting with Nick and lingering worries about those she lost.

(Yeah thanks 4 repeating everything ive already said.. sth more? Ah, the bus journeys on)

I remember and now, her thoughts continue, how he jokingly called me, queen of the waters, after i showed him that i can swim quite good.. took an olive branch i saved from the waters, that kept me a bit from drawning... i was still in my senses.. tho the salty taste of the sea, i feel & now.. interesting how much salty sea water can one drink n nothing really bad happen... as she was meditating the robot anounced the station where she must go down, waking her up from her thoughts.. she looked ahead & there it was, the hotel. Huh, im qt a daydreamer & recollector, she thought. So good i was awaken just in time.. she got off the bus & headed to the hotel. At the reception she told the room number & the lady there handed her the keys

(no idea if they had a robot, only the train from & to Athens, as well as the subway, i remember, does).

Lali takes the keys from the reception and heads to her room, the familiar feeling of the hotel comforting her after the long journey. As she unlocks the door and steps inside, she takes a moment to settle in, reflecting on the memories and the anticipation for the next day. The room offers a brief respite, a chance to prepare and gather her thoughts before heading back to the beach where so many significant moments happened.

Next day i wake up with the thought to see my lovely friend, Nick. But something happends... seems i cant get there in time...

(My q line, btw: -Suggestion, what might happen, totally not related to the star- =]]]

CG: One possibility is that there could be a sudden, unexpected event such as a transportation issue. For instance, there might be a public transportation strike or an unforeseen delay with the bus or taxi services. Another option could be a personal emergency or an issue with your hotel room that requires immediate attention.

If you’d like more details or a different scenario, let me know!

Me: Tell a different scenario w a delay )

How about this:

As Lali prepares to leave for the beach, she discovers that her phone has a low battery and, in the rush to find a charger, accidentally spills coffee on her travel bag. This causes her to take extra time cleaning up and reorganizing her things. Once she finally heads out, she finds that the usual route to the beach is blocked due to unexpected roadwork. This forces her to take a longer detour, causing significant delays. Despite her best efforts to stay on schedule, the series of mishaps means she arrives later than planned.

Oh, shit.. its already 3 in the midday.. now s not time for outing (its in August).. by the beach & inside the beach house where they live would have been just fine... i will go by taxi. Taking another route. She ask on reception for the taxi number telling that her phone s almost dead & her charger got broke.. "oups, double bad luck, super kakos", the receptionist says..

(🥵... nah, good choice wha' to say... wha was on my mind, lol..)

The receptionist nods sympathetically and provides the taxi number. “I understand—it’s really frustrating when things don’t go as planned. Let me call the taxi service for you and make sure they know you’re in a hurry.”

After making the call, the receptionist hands Lali the taxi details. “They should be here shortly. I hope things get better for you today. Safe travels!”

With the taxi on its way, Lali waits in the lobby, trying to stay positive despite the setbacks.

(So nice & understanding, yep, the reason i made her stay at a hotel actually, subconsciously thought that there's sth that's gonna be there... & i might need some help w no much (to not at all) effort. Bravos to me).

The taxi arrives & she tells "gregora, paralia (help AI tell me a nice beach name, a real one in Tessaloniki, the gulf part, w beaches that have houses by?? I thought of dendrario but not sure)

🤣🤣🤣 oh my... ok, a too long post 4 now... will comeback soon, meanwhile think of some nice beaches there 🤣).

....

& this is why u better do rp w a human, rather than a robot, anws... it was fun, till i got too technical w the whole shipwreck story)

[aamethyst000]

feeling meh, now (may 10, 24 - 11:04pm)

i had to go to the store again today to pick up some extra ingredients we needed for tonights dinnwe. we are having sweet thai chille with rice and my little brother had homemade shake n bake and rice. even though its going to be very late when we finally eat. dinner is still going to be worth it. while i was waiting, i downloaded a few more games for the 64 on my laptop, so i cant wait to try them when the power goes out again. i say "when" because our power seems to go out a lot within a year. not going to lie, it is quite annoying to deal with when we go through a power outage (unplanned). oh well, what can we do when the birds constantly fly right into the pole wires and fry to death. they have a place to sit on, on every fricken pole but they never use it. so much for being so smart lmao

im almost finished watching shera again, i might rewatch it again or go back to hazbin hotel. i dont know, just something to keep me occupied for a little while. dinner will be ready in less than 20 minutes, so i am going to get ready for dinner and then relax for the rest of the night watching shra. im thinking of starting the dishes sometime tomorrow.

2:28am - im having a puff bu myself right now while listening to my spotify playlist <3 i always loved having a puff by mysekf. however, ive always imagined having bedtime puffs with my future lover, it seems nice and relaxing, it would bring me imence joy and happisness and would appreciate life again. i get the feeling id be a changed person once i fall genuinly inlove again. once i allow myself at some point. ill admit, im scared of letting myself go like that again. im afraid of letting someone else in my personal space like that again, despite me really really wanting that again. id over think every action that they have, and as ive mentioned before, my "jealousy" is doing well with coping right now. i still dont understand why, anyway, i should head to bed soon after im done having a puff. im nice and high in the clouds right now. im loving this feeling and i want to go to bed feeling like this. its really nice to feel this high, i wish i can be like this all the time, even during work hours would be awesome. id handle the day with more confidence. for now though, id just have to deal with that by taking cbd edibles and joints. which is okie, it deffinitly can get me through most of the day. it just doesnt stick like thc does. id prefer that over cbd. oh well, good night, readers!~ im going to go finish my puffs then head to bed.

[ishida-kun121]

It all makes sense now

Alright, sorted it out. The path is clear now. I go on this journey to find the answer. I figured out the question. “Why does it look like you’re wearing a mask?”  Because the core. The truest self, knows when someone else hasn’t taken all the masks off yet. If you fear being weird, strange, or just fear being rejected for any thing?  Anything you’re still holding back. It’s time for me to let it all go and figure out what masks I’m still wearing, which ones are important to warn about if I can’t take it off yet, and which ones I can throw in the trash, which masks were meant to hide injuries long since scarred over. Those can go. But masks that are still covering current hurts, maybe those can’t come off yet. Wounds heal with time.  So I’m gonna take some time to rest. Figure out what’s causing my signals to overlap This is like, the store you’re a regular at because the owner let you and your friends hang out at their store without making you buy anything. Suddenly one day the boss goes home without putting up the “closed, we will open at <time>” sign in the window  {The metaphor is for something one sees as safe. This is a thing that was showed to me as safe in movies I used to watch as a kid.  The important part is that the environment feels safe} If you’re a friend feeling even more isolated than me, I’ll be back for you. Nobody gets left behind or forgotten. I’m not gonna leave you behind. I’ll come back as soon as I fix whatever is jamming my signals. So please don’t leave me behind, Don’t let me hold you back, either. Just leave behind a trail of messages in places I’m likely to see them if you need to tell me what direction you’re moving in life so I can follow at my pace. I’ll have the energy to catch up soon enough. If anyone wants me to take you with on this journey, I’ll be willing, but know that it’s a journey that may prove to be a fool’s errand.  So it might take a bit for your message to get through. But if you send a message, it’ll make it eventually. If I’m someone who has given you any hope, I’ll do everything in my power to make it back. And then I’ll help you follow when you’re ready It takes a village to raise a child. And none of us had our “village” growing up,  Sometimes, if you’ve got ties you cant cut, but don’t know how to fix. Just try to fix it. Give it your best, wholehearted try at fixing whatever you think the problem is. If it works, boom, connection restored,  If it doesn’t, then maybe it’s time to ask them if they’d like the bridge to be severed. Rather than just one side cutting it without even offering the other a chance to negotiate.   Let’s build our own villages. It’s the best way to survive in the way the world forgot to explain