#(which it did last semester)
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Golden Hour (+ lineart below cut)
I took a picture of the lines for once and did some basic crappy photo editing on my phone, so you could probably print this out and use it as a coloring page or something if you so wish lol. Do with it what you will.
#honkai star rail#dr ratio#veritas ratio#aventurine#aventurine hsr#cherallart#as you can see i forgor i wanted to draw his glasses til like. last second#i can’t believe it’s been like 2 whole months since I last did a whole like. watercolor illustration#part of that’s been bc I’ve been having a bit of a rough semester bc adhd med issues (which are resolved now)#but I really wanted to draw aventurine and ratio. my boys#i’ve been LOVING penacony so far so I needed to get something nice out#anyway I did this while my s/o and I alternated between reading a 500 pg long history book out lout to each other#it’s called ‘the inheritance of rome’ and kinda covers what happened after the collapse of the western roman empire#and tries to identify and explain all the cultural echoes and reverberations and transformations that rose from its ashes#throughout europe north africa and the middle east. anyway it’s super interesting and I highly recommend it#the late antique period is not something often covered/talked abt in public ed hist classes. at least not when I was goin through em#or the transitory period between it and the early medieval period at least#i still got 150 pages left and a final paper due on it in like 4 days but it’s only a 5 pg minimum and I’m a wordy bitch so#i think i can make it#anyway back to that I go
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Daenerys' storyline in ADWD is a good way to complexify heroic narratives without invalidating the idealism of the savior. What is in question isn't the morality of freeing slaves (because that's already indisputable), but how to integrate them in society in a effective way when that goes against ancient traditions of subjugation. It offers an honest portrayal of power struggle, how the oppressing class does not give up their power easily, and in order to make a revolution stick you must give the oppressed the necessary tools to keep themselves empowered, the oppressed must be able and willing to reign fire on those who seek to put them in chains again. With heroic narratives there's always an extraordinary someone saving people from certain doom and everyone is happy. the end. But with Dany there's an exploration of the aftermath. Her storyline explores her struggle of wanting to do good, on trying to keep her people safe while dealing with powerful people who seek to maintain their hierarchies. It's an exploration of what power can mean to different groups. Power can be about subjugation but it can also be a way to prevent yourself from being subjugated. The great masters would not have behaved differently if Dany had proposed gradual and peaceful reforms on slavery, because they cared first and foremost about their status as a ruling class, and that status was only possible through the exploitation of other people, because for a group to be above requires all others to be below, stepped on by those above.
#last semester i studied about the process of slavery abolishment in my country during the 19th century#which was a process done mostly through gradual and peaceful reforms#and yet the slave owners still did ALL they could (increasing violence against enslaved ppl + human trafficking) to maintain the system#people who truly believe in slaving others are vile in any scenario. because slavery is vile. there's no way around it.#daenerys targaryen#a dance with dragons#asoiaf#valyrianscrolls#cw slavery
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i know i simp for the guy but i would love to have ratio as my professor because this man would genuinely listen to me as a student and give me an extension on my assignment if i've been in the trenches (the big sad)
#me emailing professor veritas ratio: hi uh been in an emotional war lately. can i get a 6 hour extension on the assignment? i promise ill-#-submit it#ratio probably: a 6 am deadline is unhealthy. you have a 24 hour extension#meanwhile professors are like idc whats going on submit on time or else a whole subgrade deducted for every late hour in submission#i love them all but year 1 professors suck#they judge u so harshly for no reason#zuri rambles#i remember how my semester 1 assignment's deadline was 5 hours after my flight landed in the motherland and when i asked for an extension i#-was told that we were given 3 weeks which is ample time even though those supposed 3 weeks started 4 days before finals did#and i had my last final the night before my morning flight#so i had to speed run my 1k word essay in 2 hours because i took a 1 hour nap after getting back home
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college … wasted on the youth (me)
#didnt help that 2/4 yrs was covid telezoom but man.. MANNN#forgetting how impossible it is to pursue rhe degree plan u actually want (advising hell) i feel like . theres just#so many diff things i want to learn now Knowing that im more solidified in my interests and who i am and what i would be interested in doing#and like.😭RGAAAAAQH TEARING MYHAIR OUTTT every other week i have a night where im sititng there like damn i couldve been sm1 completely dif#dgmw i still rly enjoy some of the upper div classes i Did take but what if i took x and liked it more or minored in y and it led me to z#bc i do feel rly set in where i am rn which . i DO ! like it but im never gna be in that environment where u have the flexibility to explore#ykwim . i wish i had taken physics and calc srsly . i always thought i hated that shit but i like it. i like it quite a lot actually😟#or more geology .. urrghh.. sprinkle in sme extra art history . no bc thats what actu pissed me off ab school#i rmbr wanting to dual major and they straight up told me no i cant . but then i was like maybe an arts major bio minor when i wanted to do#science illustration but sry we dont offer bio minor . ok bio major arh or studio art minor . no sry not enough open spots we rly only#reserve it for when we have extra openings post admission❤️#and then even late into sophomore year u would still be last in registration so all the cool classes would be closed#and then bc of covid half that shit was cancelled bc they couldnt transfer labs online (rip comparative vertebrate anatomy)#and then by senior yr an additional collection of classes were unavailable bc u dont have the prereqs bc the prereqs were cancelled during#covid and u dont have enough semesters left to actually take it . like it was gen such an awful experience so ik why i couldnt ever do what#i wanted but .😭 AND LIKE the classes i DID enjoy like genomics or molecular genetics were closed by registration and i had to email and beg#for access . thts crazy .literally crazy .#anyways . i think i want 2 start reading textbooks bc i think thats the closest ill get LMAOO#i remember seeing my coworker read a textbook for fun one time and idk why i just didnt understand why bc it seemed so dry but i Get it now#like yeah .. u knew what was up ..#sad too that like . i could theoretically audit a course but i Work..during the day .. so sad . so sad#guys wht if i just said yes to grad school (<the devil talking.dont agree)
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I am in horrible pain for the third day in a row and I HAVE FUCKING HAD IT! aaaaaaarrrrghhhhhhh! I don't want to get out of bed! I don't want to walk to class! it makes the pain worse! this is stupid! this isn't how my pain usually works! three! days! what the fuck!
It normally lasts a couple hours and fucks off. I think dragging around a heavy backpack is making it worse but I don't know why because it's not even that heavy, I've lugged around worse and been fine. Why is it so agonizing now and how do I make it stop? It's not even just my back, I think it triggered a chronic pain flareup so now my entire body hurts. It will not go away. I can't even stop carrying the stupid backpack to let my body recover because I still have fucking classes! Also the bus system is so unreliable I keep having to walk to class which hurts! so! bad! I have a car but driving wouldn't help because the parking is as far away from my classes as my apartment is.
I just want to stop being in horrible pain nearly every waking moment is that so much to ask.
#vent post#aaaaaaaauuuughhhhhhhhhhhh#ow ow ow fuck ow#hylian rambles#debating swapping out backpacks for my one from last semester which weighs less and did not generally injure me#but it's kind of in bad shape which is why i replaced it to begin with. it has holes in it. which i can probably work around.#just don't trust the water bottle pocket it'll be fine
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i think it's about time that we acknowledge that, no, that character would Not change their name in a groupchat! especially not to that. and, no, that character would not change everyone else's names! especially not to that.
#my drafts are back up to almost 800 sooooo have this post i made a couple weeks ago!!!#it irks me SO MUCH#most people just use their names or nicknames😭#i'm sorry but i.ida would not make his name 'sonic' and j.irou/m.omo would not include 'lesbian' in their names even if they are#c.huuya would not make his name about his height (god we get it the short jokes are so annoying to me personally it just feels like#a way to infantilize him) and d.azai would not make his name about bandages and lord knows k.unikida is NOt changing his name at all#most people don't make their names their sexuality i just. don't understand why almost all chat fics include like. 'lesbian queen' which#like ig if it's someone using it to come out or for pride month that checks but most of the time the characters i see with their sexuality#in their name are characters tHAT WOULD NEVER DO THAT!!! at least use characters who would😭 like j.irou's too shy and m.omo is too reserved#and like sorry not sorry but d.enki and s.ero and m.ina are not going to just instantly change everyone's chat names - most people don't ge#into a chat and go 'imma change everyone's names' and like i could deal with it if they gave them names that made sense#bUT THEY DON'T!!! also so many anime chatfic writers give them american type names like reference american artists#it's just like. they prolly don't listen to as much american music as you think they do. japan has musicians too. like. they're not america#sorry i genuinely love the concept of chatfics and think they're a FANTASTIC way to analyze character and i even did a whole lesson on#characterization in texting last semester! it was really fun too like the kids enjoyed it! but like. most characters won't text the way you#do. and people just. always make them type the way they do. or use actual convos from griupchats but don't make it fit the characters#just. mmmmmmmmm.#idk why but gc fic names bother me So Much lol#AM DONE NOW SORRY GUYS#corey talks:)
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#ay. tomorrow might b the day i face the music#which is to say. i tell my advisor how fucked i am. i mean. ill spin it so it doesn't sound so bad#its just that ive told him like 2 weeks in a row that id send him my edited preproposal and i have not bc im too afraid to start reading#papers related to my project. which is frustrating. and like the thing is. and i kno ive said it before and i kno im not a fucking idiot#i can read papers and i can even understand what theyre broadly saying. but thats it.#zero critical thinking. zero insight. i use all my tiny fucking brain space to try to understand the words on the pages#and even then it only forms this broken fucking image of whats being said. like u dont understand. i used to struggle with writing papers bc#i couldnt fucking connect what i was saying from one paragraph to the next when i was the one doing the fucking writing.#what the fuck am i doing here? and again. im not stupid. i can follow the information if its fucking said out loud but thats not how this#works. and it just feels like sometimes there's a limit to what you're capable of and im at that fucking limit. the undergrads in my lab#have more ability to comment on papers than i do. its so fucking frustrating and i just have to live with knowing itll never get any easier#so what the fuck can i do other than drop out? theres no god damn way im gonna pass a comprehensive exam. not unless i buckel down and break#myself in half to try to retain all the information i need to. which requires that i read so many god damn papers that i cant fucking read.#just. why tf did i pick a career path where my suffering is inherent to a huge part of my job? i feel like ive consistently chosen to take#the hard path in life and ive finally stumbled too far from what is possible for me#so well see what comes out of my mouth tomorrow when i have my weekly meeting. i just feel like its my last semester#i feel like this is it. i just need someone to fucking hire me. bc everytime my lab mate mentions something abt#my project down the line or talks abt future conferences i should attend. im just like. its a nice idea but that's not happening. im just#at the end of the line and it sucks#unrelated
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so since I may be free this summer after all, would anyone be interested in an RP event that's a potluck? I've been wanting to do it for ages but there's never any interest compared to other themes
for a discord rp, I would make a separate server explicitly for this purpose so you don't have to be in any guilds or anything! I would also delete the server (or at least channel, if people would like an event-planning server long-term) after a week - enough time for people to read over their stuff but not preserved forever and ever.
#actually remembering to make this a week-long poll this time!#if you've never heard the term before: a potluck is an event where everyone brings a food they've made to share in a communal feast!#there is no skill floor for this - if you (your character in this case) only knows a simple cornbread recipe they follow by the book that's#-just as welcome as an elaborate roast#and I know people have brought things they bought instead of cooked (like a bakery pie)#the point isn't to show off your cooking skills as much as it is to come together as a community and share :)#its historical origins were a little more complex in function than that but I'm going with what I was raised with#but yeah. it's a theme I've wanted to do a while because it's so community#I AM upset that I won't be busy this summer (rejected from every internship I applied to and can't apply to ones that require a-#-drivers license which is uhh MOST OF THEM!#but my psych was saying it's probably good for me to have some rest and recovery time after this hell semeste#(it wasn't hell but two of my classes have really been fucking with my head)#I DID get to try out darting guns last week in my wildlife sampling/id classes though and I hit the target dead center both times!#and that was fun. but the writing assignments from those other classes are incomprehensible in rubric#OH RIGHT MY TAGS#gw2 open RP night#gw2 rp
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vent incoming:
got my grades back for my courses last semester and most of it was to be expected, mostly A's, maybe an A-, etc. but i honestly can't get over the fact that my independent study (the buddy cole documentary) was for some reason given a B. like sure getting a B isn't bad per se, I usually get at least one B every semester and i honestly don't really care about what my exact gpa is as long as i can graduate, but come on. this school put me through months of psychological torment over this project and didn't even have the nerve to give me a B+??? i'm still coping with the self-doubt they forced on me and this bullshit is not helping!!
#honestly it's kind of hilarious ngl. especially bc i also got my documentary work counted as an independent study the previous semester#and the previous semester even tho i barely worked on the doc itself#(mostly just planning and putting together the crowdfunding which was still a lot of work but like compare it to the past few months)#they were willing to give me an A (my school doesn't do A+ so this is the highest mark possible)#vs this semester. like i'll admit my final assignment was late and could have been more polished#but i was literally on tour in documentary-mode 24/7 for several weeks. i filmed an entire comedy special! i put together a live interview!#not to mention having to fucking negotiate with my own college censoring the footage they'd promised me of an event i put together#and play nice with a professor who literally outed me on twitter in an attempt to cancel one of my best friends#at this point the ''B'' feels more like a petty grudge than anything else#like ok we can't get away with *actually* fucking over jessamine's grades bc clearly ze did do the work. but let's just give zir a B#like i will admit the audio quality in my final isn't great. and i could have used more polished footage in some sections#but counterpoint: 100+ students were arrested at a protest while i was editing and i was having a mental breakdown#the fact that i finished *anything* is goddamn impressive especially after they essentially conditioned me to hate myself any time i was#working on a project i loved!!!#due to the aforementioned student arrests my college did put out an option where we could change any letter grade this semester to pass/fai#so anything passing wouldn't impact our gpa if we didn't want it to. so i could just change the B to a ''pass''#but really what's the point. ''B'' is still a good grade and my GPA is fine (3.65 on a 4.0 grading scale. 2.0 is required to graduate)#it just sucks that after what i went through last semester i feel like nobody takes it seriously#i was reminiscing earlier about how it's honestly kind of funny how after that professor outed me on twitter#i was at the hotel with scott like an hour later sobbing and having an existential crisis about my relationship to gender#and scott was so supportive but also awkwardly being like#''i know i should offer the crying child a tissue but where the fuck are the tissues in this room what do i do''#and he just handed me a full-on towel instead like oh my god he was trying his best but also so clearly out of his depth#but of course i then had to remember how when i told that story to a different professor to be like ''this is how much scott cares about me#this guy called me fucking UNPROFESSIONAL for crying in front of the subject of my documentary?????????#like yeah maybe so but how DARE you call me unprofessional when a different professor tweeted my full name and gender without my consent#in an attempt to fucking cancel one of my friends for ''misgendering'' me for using pronouns i'm fine with him using!!!#i don't think i'm ever going to be able to forgive my college and i don't know how i'll be able to get through one more semester#that experience genuinely changed things about my psychology that i'm not proud of and i need to work through#so if i have to miss a goddamn kids in the hall event because i have class this november i am going to set something on fire
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hmmmm what if I. skipped class 'cause I'm not feeling good
#could I go to class withoug putting anyone else in danger? yeah#but I would be miserable#and getting anything good done would be a long shot#I feel bad about my record in studio so far— last semester I did SO much more work on my projects and I did SO many extra sculptures#but this semester I'm more tired#and y'know what I have my whole life to do ceramics it's not just this semester#and I was already planning to skip my other class so that's ok#if I stay home I can do laundry... catch up on my capstone project which I'm behind on... yeah this sounds good
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I don’t do fantasy gym due to who I am realistically as a person but I wish I were the kind of b*tch who could muster up the necessary energy and executive function to stay on top of a fun thing with no real consequences like that. I’m living vicariously through all of u
#I came to terms with it not being for me the last time I did fantasy which was when it was on that other website before gymlitics#ider the name but I vividly remember the interface lmao. anyway it’s like… unfair to be only passively dedicated whe#*when u have really great gymnasts on ur team who could be real assets to other people but ur sitting on it yknow?#spring semester is always the worst anyway so after that one season where I barely did it after week 5 I was just like. I’ll just watch idk
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head in my hands not me wanting to skip my classes. ITS WEEK TWO
#in my defense i might have covid#ive been masked up 24/7 windows in my dorm open etc for everyone else but if i've got it i've got it#but as shit as i feel as ass as i feel my symptoms aren't covid-y#headache and fatigue are symptoms but they're also symptoms i experience all the time anyway yk#which is probably super normal#but i feel like i'd collapse if i tried to go to all three of em back to back#in no small part bc the gap between them is so short and im already kinda prone to getting out of breath WITHOUT a mask#but i also skip classes bc of that all the time so idk#but also i DID collapse in class last semester so. ?????#but i feel like if i ate smth i'd be good like it's combo little sleep + no food but i don't have time for it before class#ughh whatever im just gonna send an email fuck it. im being courteous (<- very much self-motivated here)#staying home when uou feel like shit isn't selfish stayung home when yuu feel like shit isn't selfish stayi#etc etc#but do i skip my japanese class. bc i kinda wanna go to that one. ugh no if i am sick that's the worst one to be in
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we did not in fact finish the lab due this morning or come even close BUT he’s giving us the next week with no late penalty bc it turns out one of the pins we were trying to use to communicate Actually Does Not Exist #slay
#personal#the engineering chronicles#it’s literally listed as an i2c pin in the tables but i overheard the student assistant say it’s not a real pin when i got into lab and was#like ?!?! and looked it up in the data sheet and for our version of this microcontroller yeah they replaced it with a capacitor for some#inexplicable reason and Left The Pin Label There. also need to stress that where it says it’s an i2c pin it IS listed under our specific#microcontroller like. technical writer of this data sheet when i catch you ‼️#so anyway. that was NOT the only issue we had even if the pin did exist it was supposed to be set for i2c2 and we accidentally set it for#i2c1 and also none of us has any clue what command to send to make the led on the other board like up but he doesn’t need to know that 🤫#*light up#even my prof didn’t know abt the secret nonexistent pin and he said no student of his has ever had this issue which actually i don’t think#is true bc i’ve been trying to avoid the b port all semester Specifically bc i remember having weird issues with the pins not working on it#last year and i suspect this is why but. yeah no consequences YIPPEE 🥳
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👍
#today i suddenly remembered that dress + tshirt is a combination that exists and allows you to wear summer dress in winter + not get cold.#really cool innovation.#today i am going to lidl then cleaning out my food cupboard well my one shelf in my shared cupboard then im going to draw hopefully#and because i did some revision yesterday i don't need to do much in the way of studying today which is good because the questions are exce#based and my screen time over the past few days has been diabolical and my eyes are crying and might explode if i look at a computer today#so im going to try to be hashtag offline today.#< says this while literally on tumblr#if i put some red in this outfit id be very sofad core actually. noted for future reference#anyway happy sunday everypony#^ there's a typo up there i meant excel#we worked on paper last semester but now we're doing some accounting on excel i was worried at first like oh nooo i have to learn a new#program but then i remembered im literally a gamer.not the best gamer it has to be said but i mean i 100% pw on the psp so i think i can#s rank microsoft excel.
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i seriously need to get a new job and start making money again asap bc i cannot keep living at home much longer it’s driving me insane
(wrote an entire essay in the tags without meaning to oops)
#i feel so isolated from everything bc i’m not in school rn but all my friends are and 90% of the ones who are in state go to the same school#so they’re all in the same town and here i am 45 minutes away#i never get invited to anything bc 1) my friends all tend to make plans really last minute#and 2) if we want to go out and drink - which we usually do bc that’s the stage of life we’re in rn - i’d have to stay the night with#someone bc i absolutely cannot afford a 45 minute uber home and most of my friends don’t like staying over / having people stay over#so i have basically no social life and it’s only gotten worse in the past couple months since i got laid off from my main job#not only did i love that job but i loved my coworkers and work was pretty much the only time i left the house and interacted with people#and without that job i can’t even do the little solo things i used to do to cheer myself up like go see a movie#or even just go for a long drive bc i’m broke (as in i have $17 in cash to my name and am like $1000 in debt rn)#so all i do is rot in bed all day and apply for jobs that i’m overqualified for yet still don’t get hired#i barely even leave my room bc i avoid my family which just makes me feel guilty bc i love my family#but they get on my nerves so easily and most of the conversations i have with my mom end in her lecturing me about something and me crying#and on top of everything it’s just straight up embarrassing to be unemployed and completely directionless about college and living at home#logically i know i’m still very young and it’s common to live at home when you’re 20 but literally none of my friends do#i had a couple friends who lived at home for the first 2 years after high school and went to community college but by now they’ve moved out#and they’re all at universities and either graduating this year or next year meanwhile the earliest i could possibly graduate is in 2 years#i should be finishing my junior year rn but i’ve only completed my freshman year#i hated the school i was at and planned on transferring sophomore year but long story short that didn’t work out#even longer story short i ended up doing a semester each at 2 different community colleges and failed all my classes both times#and took 2 semesters off so now i’m a full 2 years behind and even though my freshman year was miserable#i’m starting to wish i stayed at that school anyway bc at least i would be at a university and accomplishing something#plus theres a huge difference between staying at home for a couple years after high school then moving out later#vs living on your own right away then having to move back home after you’ve already experienced having your own space#and on top of everything i have an older sister who’s a literal genius and graduated last year#and a younger sister who just finished her freshman year at the school i hated but she loves it and got perfect grades and made friends#so they’re both thriving and here i am living with my mom and my 13 year old brother and just completely failing at everything#i’m just so miserable and obviously moving out again and going back to school wouldn’t magically fix everything#but at least i would feel like my life was going somewhere and i wasn’t getting left behind by everyone i know#i just have no idea how to move forward and i feel like ever since high school not a single thing has gone the way i wanted it to#vent
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okay im somehow feeling less #mentallyill today and it's weird . this past week has been an accumulation of awful and annoying stress and while it's probably not all gone today . was a lot better and i didn't feel insanely annoying while talking to my professor which is a really good sign.... i also didn't feel too bad about it afterwards which was reallyyyyyyy relieving
today was really fun though (-: it's become a bi-weekly thing for my classmate / friend (......?) to hang around after class so we can bother my professor at his office ^__^ and i'm reallyyyy super glad. i'm really glad i got over my anxiety of talking to new people because now we talk after class bi-weekly and it's soooo fun and sillay <3 i used to be really closed off when it came to talking to classmates because i didn't think there was a point or more like . it wasn't something i was really looking for because i already had friends so i didn't think it was necessary to expend more effort and anxiety to make new friends which is . hm .
but anyway today was soooo facking funny my professor is so annoying omg I HATE HIMMMMMM omfg i forgot what we were talking about but i basically brought up how i am of the opinion that it's absolutely insane that people cut around mold on their food and still eat it. and i was SOOOOOOO SO SURE THAT HE WOULD BE OF THE SAME OPINION BUT THEN HE PAUSED AND WAS LIKE "okay well . i have a scandalous take" and i was like NO!!!! NO!!!!!!!!! YOU CANT DO THIS TO ME !!!! and we argued about it and my friend was looking it up and he was like "well what did you find convince me" and they listed a BUNCH of shitty symptoms you could get from eating food that had mold on it and i was like "imagine experiencing them all at once" and he was like "oh well i basically experience all of that every morning" AND WE LAUGHED HES SO FUCKING DUMB GDFSGDFGDSF and when he kept trying to justify himself my classmate was like "but the spores....." and i was like "yeah the SPORES (his first name) the SPORES. the spores will get you......" and then i was like "hey you should get red markers for your white board so i can leave ominous messages like that on it before i leave" because one day he suddenly had a BUNCH of purple markers, i think he has like ten..... and there's only one white board in his office lol
AND THEN THATS HOW WE GOT TO THE NEXT PART.... he was like "do you know why i don't have red markers?" and i was like . omg . no way are you colorbind???? and he IS ......... which is so sad..... )': and i was like "wait the school's color is green........ they should have more colorblind awareness, you need to be represented" and he looked at me really seriously and was like "yeah i really do" he's so dumb i love him so bad
#ALSO . i think i'm over my crush on him !?!?! MIRACULOUSLY!?!?!?!#i'm not sure . i know it sounds like i'm not but i think i might be#i dont get the !!!!!!!!!! ?!?!?! emotions anymore when i think about him or talk to him#at least not on the insane scale like i did before#which is so weird because it's only been a few weeks since i last felt that#i feel like it fizzled so fast#esp because i felt all of this p consistently last semes#i think maybe talking to him more and in a more casual way helped it die down ????#but i dont mean that in a bad way . like . it's not like i learned more about him and was like ohhh hes less attractive#if anything he's way way way more endearing and cute and sillay to me#today he finished some sort of drink and threw it in the trash but the bottle hit the side of the trash can and he completely missed#and my friend went to pick it up and toss it#and when it missed i was like “wowwww nice ^__^” and he was like “i meant to do that so (classmate) could get it for me”#andi was like “BE NICE TO YOUR STUDENTS????”#idk it's so weird . i still do feel a biiiiiit self conscious around him but thats just bc he's a guy and a super hot one so#also my classmate and i are trying to (gently) peer pressure him into playing pkmn black / white#he's interested in the story so.... (~:#but yeah . this has been really fun and i look forward to it every week which is so nice esp in comparison to when i would just go home#right after class most semesters#^____^#ss#it's also sosososo nice because this is something i wanted for soooo long like to be able to befriend my teachers / professors and be silla#like never would i have imagined that i'd be able to hang out in a professor's office with a classmate/friend and not be stressed#and to just feel so incredibly relaxed and i get to be myself and have back and forths with my professor#like it's SOOOO FUN
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