#(which is like. yeah no that’s a symptom)

[thebibliosphere]

hello i thought you would appreciate the morbid humor my also not-an-allergy allergy. i have cold urticaria, which is where any exposure to cold temperatures on my skin make me break out in hives and in extremis go into anaphylactic shock. my mom is way worse, she's gone into shock just from getting in pools too early in summer.

ive had to argue with people that no i really am for real allergic to the cold. bro i will die. allergies that arent allergies are wild and such a pain to explain. "you cant be allergic to the cold" girl watch me aksdjhaksdhakjshd

Oh yeah! I have that too as part of my MCAS. Same with heat. Too hot I break out in hives. Too cold I break out in hives. A lot of “weird” symptoms that like are usually caused by over active mast cell activity in the skin.

The more you know!

[dandizettes]

HIIII TALK TO ME ABOUT IZZY W OCD BC ITS SO REAL AND TRUE AND WE NEED TO SPREAD THE WORD sorry for yelling

This is hard for me to pinpoint in general but especially now because, hilariously, the OCD symptoms are making it hard to discuss the OCD symptoms. However! I shall attempt, because we INDEED must spread the good word.

I think The Thing that I point to and go “hmmmmmm” with Izzy is the like………….. self-constructed anxiety box that he Must Live Inside Of Or Else—he is not just a pirate taking piracy very seriously, (though he also does that) he is, specifically, living under this rigid internal logic of Being A First Mate, with the binary opposite of Being A Piece Of Shit Who Should Kill Himself (see: yelling at the unicorn for failing to protect the ship, self-destruction suicidal spiral after perceived failure To Be A First Mate, etc etc.) And that all feels to me. Well. More familiar than I’d like, save for the particular role in question—but that idea that, like, you must adhere to a set of rules, you must stay within particular boundaries to be Good, and if you cross them you enter being Bad, you become Nothing—and this is an infection which you are always in danger of contracting, you must practice constant vigilance to stave off this infecting creeping Badness forever and ever and ever, you are only ever safe from the Badness if you are appropriately performing Goodness, which means living in the box—well. That’s the sauce, unfortunately!

And of course, lots of his middle-management responsibilities are genuinely life or death stakes—yeah, Ed DOES need to have a plan, he DOES need to not be so unhinged he is actively endangering the lives of everyone around him, but because Izzy obv holds himself responsible for regulating Ed’s ability to do both those things, it makes this delicious horrible guilt soup, and that is the irrational brain-lying-to-you bit here. Yes, the stakes are actually very high, but it is still quite literally impossible for Izzy to dictate what Ed does or does not do—but HE absolutely believes it is, to a degree that reads to me again like that binary logic (which of course is fed and reinforced by Ed, even if unintentionally, due to the everything about their dynamic.)

[realbeefman]

stacy is sooo interesting because she's in love with house but knows that they will never ever be able to have a healthy, stable, sane relationship because they're too similar so. she finds house-lite instead and marries him and. essentially moves on with her life! and is successful in this because she's a moderately well-adjusted person!

wilson, in contrast, never manages to escape the inevitable, in spite of his best efforts to find a house-lite of his very own, because he's an absolute fucking freak and ends up glued to house to the bitter. bitter end

[jasperthejester]

me: finally accepting theres a good chance im autistic and starting to work up the courage to ask my parents to see if i could get a diagnoses but being scared to

my mom: do you ever think you have adhd? if you want to do a screening for add next time your at the doctors you can

me:

[mokeonn]

Before I go to sleep I leave you all with this piece of advice: sometimes you don't actually have to answer big political questions, sometimes you can just say "I am not smart enough to know that, I just know the small things I do to help." Like you can often times completely avoid making a fool of yourself if you just say you don't know.

[lilithofpenandbook]

I'm starting to think maybe I was right, my mum is abusive. Not very, but still abusive.

How did I get to this conclusion? Thinking about my mum's behaviour, about my reaction to her. Somehow I got to thinking about Snape, who no one sees as a victim because he doesn't back down, he still fights his abusers and keeps on fighting them. He's the one in the wrong, despite being the victim.

And that's what made me think of something my mum says any time childhood trauma is brought up in the conversation: "If you were actually afraid of me, you wouldn't be talking back to me" "Would you still be so rude to me if you were actually traumatised?" "If I had traumatised you, you'd be too scared to speak like this to me", and similar stuff.

If you were actually abused, you'd behave like an actual victim

And that just reminded me of Snape, and how he isn't seen like a victim because he's not a "perfect victim", he isn't outwardly anxious, vulnerable, or delicate, he doesn't cry when yelled at, he doesn't stutter. He's outwardly strong, he's got self control. When emotional, he's angry, he's hostile. He's rude and sarcastic, including to the people he should be afraid of. He doesn't have any of the pretty, romanticised symptoms of trauma. He has all the ugly, real symptoms. The symptoms that mask his trauma.

Like mine. To my mother's face I am loud, I am rude, I am defensive. I show no fear. It's certain things though, that scare me. Certain things that make me angry and cry. Not in front of her. She doesn't see what's not in front of her face. She's only seen one panic attack, and that I didn't call a panic attack, I just said I couldn't breathe and my dad helped calm me but I never said it was a panic attack. I've had panic attacks in college. My friends know more about my anxiety, my trauma, more than my own mother. My teachers have seen me have panic attacks in the middle of class, after I've been stuck trying to keep it together all day. My sister once saw me, when I came home from class, exhausted by trying to keep the anxiety down to the point that even with the emotions gone the pain still had me in bed for hours afterwards. Nobody with a healthy relationship with their mother does that, do they?

But I'm supposedly not abused, not a victim, because I do not act like one in the least.

Yet if Severus Snape is a victim regardless of how he presented his trauma, maybe I'm also being abused despite my apparent lack of fear towards my mum.

Maybe that's why he's my favourite character.

Because neither of us look like we're traumatized.

Okay, so the abuse I face isn't so bad, and perhaps I'm overtly sensitive to be traumatised by it, but if I'm having panic attacks because of it then there is something there, right?

[a-concert-just-for-me]

I’d genuinely sell a kidney to try ADHD meds. For the bit, of course.

[adhdandcomics]

adding to my tags because i’ve been thinkin a lot about the post i just reblogged and have more thoughts:

i’ll be real, the more i saw ‘hey adhd influencers are so annoying’ the more i worried that i was unconsciously contributing to the spreading reputation of adhd folks as annoying and over-pathologizing every symptom they experience

and then i realized. i am not a goddam influencer or life coach or representative. obviously i have some obligation as someone who cares about myself and the people that like my comics to not spread harmful ideology or blatant misinformation but i never intended myself to be a “’increase your productivity!!’ blog OR a ‘if you have XYZ you have adhd!’ blog. and i do this for fun, and originally started this blog bc i had a lot of internalized shame and self loathing about my adhd and thought if i could make it funny i might have less of that. let’s get real! and it worked!

i’ve obviously done this kind of thing— (hey these symptoms might be adhd!) a lot before in my life & on this blog, but there’s more to it than trying to be an “influencer” or whatever. a term that didn’t even exist when i started this blog!

i felt very isolated trying to find out if i had any mental problems & what have you originally because of large advice (etc) blogs with staunchly anti self Dx views at the time

so i overcorrected when i DID get dxed and tried to validate everyone who was like me. and of course. not the best course of action always for the ol mental health. tried to be the source of positivity and jokes that i didn’t see because the online adhd presence was near non-existent.

and anyway. i make a lot of fun of myself & the way m brain works in my comics obviously but it is not my obligation to... how do you say.... not be annoying online.

because if folks interpret MY little jokes as a strict guide to diagnosis. that’s on them, really, not me. i also believe “making adhd your entire personality” is a non-issue. so what if people find out they have it and get over excited with identifying as adhd. saying this as someone who DID do it. criticism of this gives the same vibes as people being annoyed that young queers make “being queer” their whole personality. im very obviously more than a guy with adhd, and id reckon other adhd comic artists are too. (im friends with a lot of them!) it’s fine to post about it online.

anyway. i just don’t take myself too seriously and i’m a comic artist for myself first! and you know what, i’ve been considered annoying my entire life. what do i care if a few more folks think i’m annoying. neurotypical or not

[the-spooky-children]

Can't stop thinking about unhealthy co-dependent teen!fireskulls..

[grimark]

is now the time to again bring up how i think the concept of "rejection sensitive dysphoria" being linked so closely with adhd is fucking stupid. maybe it's just because i have other things wrong with me that make emotional regulation difficult, so i've never associated it all that strongly with adhd in particular. and yet somehow on here there was a while there where i was seeing people bring up rejection sensitive dysphoria as like, a Major symptom of adhd, even before yknow the whole attention deficit thing.

[bunnihearted]

🌷🕸️

[moccasins]

about a month or so ago i was playing dust in an rp and didn't know how to play him so i talked to my mom, who's both a writer and a mental health professional, and gave her a rough run down of his character and she said "sounds like he has schizophrenia or psychosis" and i find it funny that dust has now been "diagnosed" by a professional.

[semiotomatics]

just need a reality check real quick: its not normal to stay in bed all day if you dont have anything you absolutely have to do, right? like for ppl who arent depressed or w/e, even on a day off you usually get out of bed and do things right?

[ringomess]

just realizing today i barely masked! and i don’t think there’s anything wrong with masking (ofc the hidden meaning behind masking which is ableism and the consequences of doing it too much like burnout) but this just means how safe i felt with this people.

i hanged out with two friends who are currently like two of my fav people and they’re likely neurodivergent too ??? (they just have adhd vibes) and yeeeaaaaaah i totally felt myself masked at the beginning before warming up but then we went to a comic store and i saw my favorite manga and i started happy stimming!!! bc i love this manga so much and i literally can’t contain my happy stims and my friend reacted to it positively!!! she said “i love to see you get so excited” which made me feel super good!!!!!

then we went to a restaurant to have dinner and i was reaaaaally overstimulated with all the sound and i was trying very hard to mask it but it was so difficult. until my friend asked me “what’s wrong?” and i told her that i was getting overstimulated and she replied with “already? let’s leave then” and it made feel so good that she didn’t question me or anything, she thought it was natural or a matter of time that it happened (with the “already”). and ofc we couldn’t leave yet and i couldn’t endure it anymore so i put on my earplugs (i never used them when hanging with people) and they were like “oh that’s cool! do you hear me fine?” and super cool about it and i my insecurities about using them felt so stupid in that moment! i should have put on them earlier! we continued to hang out outside and i kept my earplugs on until i felt it was quiet enought to take them off.

i had an amazing time because i didn’t have to worry about not being myself. i have great friends and i’m so happy i can feel like myself with someone, because it’s something hard to find!

[trans-axolotl]

having a lot of thoughts about eating disorders + how some of us end up developing chronic illnesses directly because of the physical effects of our eating disorders and how Cruel doctors can be about that and just trying to untangle so much shame and blame from that experience rn

[number1villainstan]

this pisses me off so bad, i shouldn't be thinking about it for my own mental health, but even with my somewhat limited knowledge of bnha canon the more i think about it the more examples i can find of boku no hero academia's rampant fucking ableism