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laligraves · 7 months ago

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chp.2 - poolside

morning run series

joel miller x fem!reader

[18+] | wc: ~2.7k summary: Your nap is interrupted by Joel. masterlist | AO3

warnings: HBO Joel, TLOU AU, dubious consent (i'm so serious, don't read if it makes you uncomfortable), NSFW, pre/no outbreak, some proofreading (not enough so sorry for mistakes), Joel is a tall and very strong man, older man/college-aged reader, no use of y/n or too many details on reader's appearance, alcohol consumption, pet names, some degradation, breeding kink (yeah), fingering, squirting, unprotected sex, creampie

a/n: i'm still here <3! just busy with real life :( i don't have a huge plan for this series except to make little one shots here and there since i have a lot of fun with these two characters lol. other stuff on the way i promise <3

You left two days after that encounter with Joel Miller. Your head was still spinning and your pussy still sore, but the semester started and you needed to be back on campus.

The first night back in your dorm, you debated throwing out the roses that now sat on your desk. You lasted 10 minutes just looking at them before you were touching yourself to the memory of him. You could still feel the scratch of his beard on your neck and remember the smell of his cologne.

He’d put his phone number in your contact list and you debated calling him. But what would you even say?

You should be mad at Joel for what he did. Yet somehow, he managed to reach into the deepest corners of your mind and fulfill one of your darkest fantasies.

Now, back in town, you can’t help but feel a little excited to see him again. Even if the more sane part of your brain is trying to convince you to slap him across the face if he comes near.

“Hey, lazy girl,” your sister calls out.

“Hey,” you respond softly, not moving from your spot on the lounge chair.

“I’m leaving. Are you sure you’ll be okay?”

“Yeah,” you reply, knowing you’ll probably spend the entire week swimming and sunbathing by the pool.

“I left money on the counter and the keys to my car in case you need it.”

“Okay, mom,” you say sarcastically.

She throws a pool noodle at you and leaves with her friend after that, promising to text you when she reaches her destination. Any other time you’d be disappointed that your sister was leaving for a full week just as you arrived for summer vacation, but she’s been working so much that she deserves a trip.

The stress from the semester leaves your body with each lap around the crisp pool and the warm sun. You go back into the house to make yourself a tequila soda and make your way back out to the chairs underneath the canopy.

A sudden thought pops into your head as you look around the empty backyard. The fences are tall enough and the gate leading to the backyard is locked. Your sister doesn’t have cameras that face this side of the house yet, so there’s really no reason for you to be so nervous.

You’ve never sunbathed in the nude, there’s just never been an opportunity for it. But now, with the house empty and the tequila coursing through your veins, it would be the perfect time to do so.

Before the courage leaves you, you slip off the strings of the bikini and spread out on the lounge chair.

“Absolutely nothing to worry about,” you whisper.

You eventually doze off, moving around until you’re once again face down. A text message from your sister lights up your screen, but at this point you’ve fallen asleep and don’t pay any mind to it.

I forgot to tell you that Joel Miller from down the block is stopping by. He’s going to plant the roses Susan wants, but needs to take a look first. Help him with whatever he needs. Tell him thank you!

You start to dream of Joel massaging sunscreen on your back, trailing his hands over your sides until they land on the soft, plump flesh of your ass.

His hands massage and spread your cheeks open, presenting your asshole and pussy for his eyes. Joel lands a glob of spit right on your little winking star and you flinch slightly.

“It’s okay, babydoll,” he coos.

The tip of his finger circles your asshole just a bit, enough for you to shiver from the sensation.

His fingers trail down to your pussy where he slowly teases a finger up and down your slit, gathering the wetness.

“Joel,” you whimper.

You push back on his hand, overcome with need.

Joel laughs at your desperate attempts to fuck yourself on his hand and moves your thigh to the side, giving him the perfect view of your cunt.

Before you have a chance to complain, he spreads you open and runs his tongue through your folds. Your hands grip the towel and you almost scream in surprise.

At the scrape of his teeth on your inner thigh and the scratch of his beard on your skin, you begin to wake. This isn’t a dream.

“What–”

“‘bout time you woke up,” Joel growls. “Dreamin’ about me, babydoll?”

You lift your head, slightly delirious, still grinding back on his face.

“Joel, whatthefuck–” you whisper, words slurred from sleep.

He tongues your entrance and swipes a finger over your clit, a movement that has you almost seeing stars. Joel ignores your pleas for him to wait, choosing instead to push two large fingers into your pussy. You choke down on your words at the stretch, still confused.

“Can barely fit my fingers in this sweet cunt,” Joel says.

“Wait–” you whimper, “fuck, wait.”

With his fingers still in your pussy, he moves up to lie partially on top of you. He bites your shoulder, neck, runs the tip of his tongue over the shell of your ear.

“No waiting, babydoll. Gotta stretch this tiny hole,”

Vulgar. He’s so nasty with his words, still, your pussy beats with its own heartbeat.

“Joel–”

“All this time waitin’ for you to call me,” Joel hums into your ear, “just used me for my cock, didn’t you? Little slut.”

“No, I didn’t. I–”

“I knock you up?”

You give a tiny, jerky shake of your head, no, unable to form words.

“Guess we’ll have to try again, yeah?” he murmurs in your ear. “Gonna’ fill up this pussy.”

“No—“

You mean to say it with conviction. But your voice wavers, and you cum right into the palm of his hand, soaking him.

You grind down on his hand and bite into the towel to muffle your screams.

“Good girl,” Joel groans, “just love makin’ a mess, don’t cha’?”

Your hands slowly let go of the towel and your body becomes limp. Joel stands from the chair and you hear the clatter of his belt and the soft rustle of his clothes landing on the ground.

Your nap being interrupted by Joel is not something you were expecting. In fact, what is he doing here?

“Joel, what are you–”

His hands reach for your hips and he’s flipping you over on your back, making room for himself between your thighs.

“Needa look at your pretty face and pretty tits while I fuck ‘ya.”

“We can’t–”

Joel’s calloused fingers pinch your hard-tipped nipples and as if your body is already conditioned for him, you push up right into his hands.

“Fuckin’ gorgeous,” Joel groans.

Before you know what’s happening, Joel leans down to drag his tongue over each peak. He bites, leaving only a hint of pain and shushing your needy whines.

He grinds down between your open thighs, covering his cock in your slick. You moan and writhe on the lounge chair, twisting your hips with each bump of his mushroom head right on your swollen button.

“Joel, please,” you beg.

But you’re not quite sure what you’re begging for. The sane part of your brain tells you to put an end to this, to send Joel far away from you. But then he sucks your nipple into his mouth and your mind goes blank.

Joel keeps biting, sucking, lapping at your tits until you feel the familiar sensation in your lower belly. As if sensing another orgasm, either from your moans or the way you're grinding up on his cock, Joel stops, placing a soft kiss on each nipple before leaning back.

“I needed to taste those tits before I fuck ya’,” Joel rasps.

You tremble beneath him, laying there in a sweaty heap. Joel’s face is slightly flushed and his chest rises with each ragged breath he takes.

Fuck, he’s handsome. Salt and pepper hair, creases around his eyes, a hooked nose and a huge cock make him the most attractive man you’ve ever seen.

The second he releases your hands, you drag your fingers down his hairy chest and over his soft belly. He’s hard and soft, muscular from working outside but with a belly that you want to lay your head on.

He moves your hand away, linking his fingers through one of yours and uses his other hand to bump the tip of his length at your entrance. You try, in a small voice that’s just about surrendered to the lust swirling in your head, to stop Joel, suddenly remembering that this is not your house, but your sister’s.

“Joel, my sister is inside–”

He tsks in disappointment. “She’s gone for the week,” he interrupts, swirling the tip of his cock on your clit, “don’t lie to me, babydoll.”

Your mouth opens to ask how exactly he knows that, but Joel takes that moment to slide right in. A high-pitched squeal claws its way out of your mouth at the stretch of his cock.

Joel groans, sounding almost pained. His eyes shut and his mouth drops open while you fight to push him off of you. You forgot just how large he was, and even if your cunt is slick and this isn’t the first time, it’s still a little painful.

Joel places your hand above your head, still keeping his fingers linked, and uses his other hand to push up your thigh. His nose brushes yours and he gives you a soft kiss.

He rocks his hips slowly, pushing his tongue into your mouth and matching the pace. You don’t kiss him back, too preoccupied with the cock spearing inside of you and the loss of air in your lungs.

“Too much–”, you mumble, “too much!”

Joel moves his lips down your chin, the tip of his tongue dragging a hot path down your neck. Goosebumps erupt on your skin as you try to catch your breath. Each thrust of his hips make you lightheaded.

“No,” Joel murmurs into your neck, “you can take it, babydoll. Take it like a good girl.”

With your free hand you try to push at his hips, for him to just give you a moment to breathe. Joel quickly takes your other hand and places it above your head, locking both of your wrists in his grasp.

Your tits are in Joel’s face, pushed up by the arch of your back. Joel takes full advantage and runs his tongue over your swollen nipples.

You’re not speaking coherently anymore. Between your pleas for him to slow down, please you whine with each hard thrust into your pussy.

“Fuckin’ greedy,” Joel groans, “pussy keeps suckin’ me right back in.”

“You’re so fucking nasty,” you mumble in half-hearted anger.

But he’s right. Your pussy flutters with each slide of his cock and your thighs bracket his hips, keeping him as close as possible.

The thick head of his cock bumps your womb and you’re almost certain he’s growing bigger inside of you. You can smell him, his cologne and sweat, the scent of a man who spends his time working outside with his hands.

If Joel were any other man, you’d hate the smell. But with him, it’s intoxicating.

The first time together was quick, in his front yard where you were forced to stay quiet and take whatever he gave you. Now, your whimpers are loud and he’s in no rush to finish quickly.

“Gonna breed this little cunt,” Joel slurs, “gonna make you a mommy.”

His hips move faster and tears begin to fall from the corner of your eyes. Joel invades your space and kisses every inch of skin he can reach. Imprints of his teeth and his saliva are left on your neck, tits, and mouth.

“You want that babydoll? Wanna make me a daddy?”

Any other man, especially one who is practically a stranger would make you cringe. But Joel’s breeding kink doesn’t phase you. You fall into the fantasy of him cumming inside of you and giving you a baby.

He pushes his tongue almost down your throat while he fucks you. You kiss him back and suck his tongue on instinct. He whimpers, a sound that makes your pussy tighten in response.

“Jesus–,” Joel groans.

“Joel, please,” you whimper, “m–more, please!”

The chair shakes with each of his thrusts, just about able to hold your combined weight. Joel lets go of your hands and leans back to watch his cock slide into you, seemingly mesmerized at the sight.

Your hands reach for his sweaty chest, arms, caressing his heated skin. Joel pushes your thighs open and you hear every sticky, wet slide of his cock.

He’s suddenly sliding a hand underneath your neck.

“Look, babydoll,” Joel gasps.

You don’t pay him much attention, your eyes barely able to focus on his face.

“C’mon–fuck.”

You lean up on your elbows with the little energy you have left and watch his length, veiny and large, covered in your slick, piston in and out of you.

If it didn’t feel so good, it would be almost scary to look at. Joel, so much larger and stronger than you, somehow able to fit so perfectly inside of you.

You fall back on the lounge chair and Joel places your ankle on his shoulder. He turns his head to nip your soft skin, leaving another imprint of his teeth on your body.

He pushes his thumb inside of your mouth and doesn’t even flinch as you bite down.

“I almost drove down to that college of yours,” he moans, “wanted to drag you outta the dorm and fuck you in the hallway.”

You moan around his thumb, lost in the fantasy of big, broad Joel dragging you by the hair and fucking you out in the open, in front of everyone to see.

His words are slurred at this point. But he's so drunk on pure lust that he can’t help himself but keep talking.

“Wanted to show everyone who owns this slut pussy.”

The way he speaks to you should make you angry, but you pussy only flutters and squeezes as he calls you his little slut.

He removes his thumb from your mouth and gently slaps your cheek before swiping his spit-covered thumb over your clit.

He swipes over your swollen bud, once, twice, using your spit and slick that now covers both of your lower bodies.

Your orgasm tears through you, washing over you in warm waves of bliss.

Joel keeps fucking you, moving faster until his hips piston and you're being used as a toy while your orgasm courses through your body.

He lays on top of you, keeping your thrashing and whimpering body bracketed onto the chair. Joel’s moans grow loud in your ear and you know he’s close.

“Not inside–” you whimper, “don’t cum–” your words not having any real meaning behind them except to add to your fantasy.

“Fuckin’ mine, my little cunt,” Joel snaps, “gonna cum in my babydoll–”

He swells impossibly larger inside of you and then you feel it, the hot splash of cum. Ropes and ropes fill your cunt and he grinds his cock into you, buries his head in your neck and groans your name over and over again.

Your body, still recovering from your orgasm from only a few moments ago, trembles once more. The warmth of his cum painting your womb shakes another one out of you.

You’re not sure how long it lasts. Joel continues to whisper in your ear about how fuckin’ sweet you are and how you have the tiniest cunt ever, babydoll while his cock fills you with cum.

Joel continues to lay on top of you and while he’s larger in every sense of the way, his weight is comforting. The setting sun is blocked by the canopy which you're grateful for because you don’t want him to move.

“How are ya’ feeling?” Joel asks.

You’ve almost fallen asleep at this point.

“Full… and sore,” you whisper.

“Maybe this time I’ll actually knock you up,” Joel whispers, placing a kiss on your forehead.

You roll your eyes and push him off of you.

“Not going to happen, old man. I’m on birth control. And we just met!"

“Shame,” he sighs dramatically. “How about I grill us some steaks?”

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x female reader #joel miller smut #joel miller tlou #dark joel miller #dark fic

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intheestaars · 1 month ago

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Solar return Observations pt. 3

‼️Don't repost my Observations without consent and mentioning my page‼️

Hello my loves, i hope you are doing great. I've been feeling inspired to make some new posts (more might be coming soon), and i'm currently really into Solar return charts, so i'm sorry if you'd like to see more normal observations, but i don't really have much to talk about there, i'm really sorry. I still hope you still enjoy this!

If you do not know about solar return charts or constellations i'm mentioning, i would recommend you to look it up beforehand. I am not the best at explaining this kind of stuff, but there are other astrology pages who have amazing introductions for people who are getring into for example solar return charts. Please look them up and then come back to this!!

Also: this is just astrology, don't take it too serious!!

Kite Constellation: If you want to see in which year you will accomplish big life goals or experience big positive life changes (like a marriage, finishing your college degree, going into retirement, etc.), look for the years you have a Kite constellation. These accomplishments can be anything, but they will have to be something that feels big specifically for you and bings you lots of happiness. So for example, just finishing school, which can be positive but for you is just a step along the way and not really a big accomplishment, then you might not have a kite in your chart or it is not about thst. So this will most likely be a very positive and happy life event, because it involves a grand trine, despite the opposition. The opposition just means, that it will involve some tensions, as any big life event will. I feel like, this is also why it makes it more so about big life accomplishmentd than other constellations like the grand trine. They are also very important, but the opposition makes it more so about big accomplishments or changes events, because they will involve some form of stress or tension. For example marriage: a marriage is a very beautiful thing, but making the descision and planning everything can still be very stressfull. Also, if you want to see what the big life accomplishment or change is about, look for the planets that are involved in the kite and what houses these planets rule in your solar return chart. For example: if you have Pluto, Neptune, mercury and mars involved, and your 7th house is ruled by Pluto, plus Pluto is conjunct your mc and your mercury is conjunct your DC, your Mars is conjunct your IC and Neptune is conjunct your North node, this is very likely signifying that you will get married in that year. This is one of those constellations i've consistantly seen with big life changes/accomplishments, to the point where it's kind of scary how accurate it is, so i urge you to look it up.

Venus in the 7th house: Adding to the last observation, this also can signifie you receiving lots of love, although i don't think this alone signifies something as big as getting married, but it will bring more romance into your life if not connected to malefic planets.

Ruler of the MC in the 12th house: This signifies you being known or seen by the "public" (it can also be your community) as isolating yourself or going somewhere that is far away or secluded from this community/public life. For example traveling across the world, not posting as much on social media, distancing yourself from your friendgroup or community, or a friendgroup breakup which leads to you isolating yourself. Thinks like that. If you are very spiritual and maybe your Mc is in Pisces, Aquarius or Scorpio, this can also have to do with the occult and spiritual experiences, but most likely it is about some form of isolation or seclution.

North node in the 6th house: This will be pushing you to get into better habits, like going more to the gym for example, but in a positive way. For example, you might finally be pushed to change your gym, which can have to do with more negative things, especially with south node in the 12th house it might have to do with you feeling isolated or having mental heslth struggles, so you try to find new ways to connect with people and try to have an outlet for the stresses you are experiencing. But this leads to you finally finding the gym or the kind of sport that is perfect for you, so you go there more often and train a lot more. It doesn't have to be about the gym, but to give you an example.

Saturn in your 4th house: I've talked about this before, but now i am way more certain this is not about moving house. This is more so about either again, isolation, feeling restricted emotionally or physically in or to your home, or to what you consider your family. Or just where you feel safe if you have neither.

MC ruler in the 9th house: Being known for travelling quite a bit. It doesn't matter where or how far.

Most or a lot of planets in the 4th/5th house in conjunct: This year will be about something that you enjoy a lot that correlates to family and friends. For example, if you haven't seen your old family and friends in years and you are really excited of seeing them again, you might visit them, which could make you really happy. Even if you travel far for this, its not so much about the travel but enjoying seeing them again.

Ascendant in Pisces with Neptune in the 12th house conjunct Chiron: This might mean some form of mental health struggle having to do with you being mentally trapped in an illusion.

Uranus in the 4th house: If this is not about moving house, it can also mean a change in what you find safety and a sense of home. For example, it could also mean you meet your life partner, so now you find a sense of security or home through them.

Neptune retrogate in the 2nd house: Illusions surrounding your self worth or financial situation may be broken appart or dismantled, especially if you have North node there too. With Chiron it might be something you really struggle with throughout the year, but especially with north node, it is something you are ment to heal.

Lot's of positive 5th and 7th house connections: This could indicate love that is very romantic and fun, or also very close friendships/relationships that are very fun and light hearted. It doesn't have to mean it is not serious, but i feel like the 5th house gives more fun and light heartedness which the 7th house can sometimes be missing, but in combination it can be very beautiful.

Empty 9th house, but with ruler in the 3rd house (with positive and expanding planets like jupiter in the 3rd): You might travel a lot, but it will be mostly with friends and probably more short distance. Short distance can also be a 3 hour flight away, it's just probably not transcontinental (that's more 9th house and 12th house stuff).

Okay, i think that's it for now. It takes me a little while to make these because i have to wait and see how life evolves to get new insights, and i have to compare what i see in my chart for example with what i see in other charts, thats why these don't come as often. But i still hope you enjoyed it and see you next time. Take care and bye!!

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 1 year ago

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AITA for not having time to read my mutual's writing?

Met a mutual on here, bonded through fanfic, have been tight with them for a few years with pretty much no bumps in the relationship, just overall had a really good time hanging around them when I could. We both write a lot and share our writing, and occasionally we talk about that writing/workshop it in passing.

In the past few years I've gone through a ton of life changes. Most notably I went from a multi-person household to a single-person one, and I've been living alone in a prohibitively costly city for a while now working 40 hour weeks and barely scraping by. As soon as the transition started I spent the last of my free income on a shitty little laptop so I could still write, putting down words on my bus/train commutes in the morning and quite literally writing on my breaks at work because I feel insane when I can't create. I bring this up to really stress that I don't have the time for the hobby, I force myself to make the time and even then it never feels like enough.

The only thing I can really stand to do with my 3 hours of free time at night is hang out with my moots online. I'm an extrovert so being around people recharges me. If I don't have designated social time I get super depressed and can pretty much feel my soul withering away. I also feel like I should probably mention that I kinda have a slew of mental issues, personality disorders and PTSD and AuDHD and the works. Point being, shit is rough my dude, but I am a person who likes to work hard and face challenges head on and even though we strugglin, we doing it with a positive outlook.

But! I am an incredibly solution-oriented person and I have found what I personally believe to be a good balance. No one should have to live like this, but I do, and I have found a way to be happy. My writing and my social time is all load-bearing. It is not something I just choose to do on a whim, it's all planned and scheduled and I adhere to those routines very strictly because, I cannot stress this enough, I will go fucking bonkers if I don't.

I'm mutuals with a lot of writers obv, and I sadly don't have time to read their work anymore, unless I get some extra time on my days off or something gets cancelled or like, I end up taking a vacation. I carry a great amount of guilt for this, though, even though I logically know it's reasonable. I try to support them where I can, cheer them on when I see them writing and tell them how cool their ideas sound, hype them up even when I can't actually read & review.

One of the things I do is sometimes I leave a kudos on fic I haven't read. I'm not trying to be ingenuine, and if they asked me I'd tell them like 'Oh I didn't read it yet, just wanted to show support!' but to me it's kinda like ripping a paper tab off a poster so that other's feel inclined to do the same. Plus my pals get a little email and a hit of serotonin.

Except one of my acquaintances, the one I mentioned at the start here, saw that I left kudos on a couple pieces another mutual of mine wrote this year. They more or less blew up my DMs with a ton of accusatory (like, literally presented like a 'GOTCHA!') stuff about how I was selective in who's fic I read, more or less implying that I secretly held some sort of grudge or negative feeling toward them and was making the conscious decision not to read or interact with their writing because of. Something, I don't actually know what they were trying to say. They also told me they vented to their friends about this MULTIPLE times, but they never once approached me to let me know they were feeling paranoid or neglected, they literally just took the most bad faith reading of it possible and then presented that to me like it was something I intentionally did, while the whole time I was unaware.

I tried to explain to them the kudos thing, that I didn't do it to every story, just ones I caught/noticed in my busy schedule. And I laid all this out and asked, multiple times, what free time am I supposed to read with? They didn't answer, and doubled down, kept trying to show me 'proof' that I was shorting them and no one else. Once they started to realize how wrong they were they backed down, but they didn't really apologize, or admit they were wrong, and they tried to end our relationship and left every single server we were in together. Because of some other unrelated stuff going on in my life, I didn't really consider them to be a close friend, but they were someone I really held dear and would've walked through hell for if they'd asked.

I still feel like there is something I'm missing here, and that's why I wanted to ask if I'm TA. I'm a pretty good communicator but one of the things I told myself when talking down my disordered thoughts (guilt about this prior) was "no one in their right mind would use reading fanfic as a metric for friendship." Now that I've had that exact thing happen, I'm starting to think maybe those thoughts weren't so disordered. Maybe this IS a big deal, and I should think about it more, but I don't even know what the solution to that would be. I just. Don't have time to read something lovingly crafted and appreciate it for what it is. All the hours in my week are used up, I'd have to lose sleep for this and with my mental health the way it is that is not an option.

Feel free to be a brutal, my skin is thick. Thanks!

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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gatorbites-imagines · 4 months ago

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micheal meyers fic if you still write for him? 🎃

I rlly liked your other fics with him, not a big fan of him being characterized as overly affectionate so I rlly liked your kinktober fics about him

something in a similar vein to that? smut or no smut is chill, just him being infatuated in his own creepy way

Michael Myers x male reader

Headcanons

Im happy you like my stuff :3c ive never imagined he was overly affectionate either, it just didn’t feel like it fit his character very much, ya know? No hate to the people who write that, I just like imagining him as a creepy guy, standing there… menacingly…

I think the only way you two could have met where you made a lasting impression is if you were somehow at the same asylum as him. Be it as a doctor or a patient. But I’ve never read a fic where the reader was one of the doctors, so that’s what we’re gonna go with here.

Joining up at smith’s grove sanitarium hadn’t been your first choice, since it was known as a pretty run-down place, that treated their patients more as prisoners than people. It may have been a place for the worst of the worst, but they were still people in your eyes.

You get Michaels attention by somehow wrenching his care from Dr Loomis’s hands, using all kinds of laws and loopholes to rip it from him and then running for the door pretty much. To you, what Loomis did should get him placed in jail and his license removed, as it could only have made his patients states worse.

Building a relationship with Michael is what many would call impossible. But you believed that every person had something special that fueled them, and just being treated like a worthwhile human being always seemed to do the trick.

It took months, if not years for you to really worm your way into Michael’s heart, or whatever was left of it. He hadn’t really had many positive male people in his life, something you also blamed Dr Loomis for, but over time he grew closer to you, in his own way.

To others it may seem like Michael was the same as always, but at this point you’ve worked with him so long that you know him. You can feel his attention follow you, even when you are on the other side of the yard where the patients get sunlight.

It’s no shock that you are most patients’ favorite, especially after you become head of the hospital, after a very long and stressful battle with those stuck in their old ways. It made you start cleaning house, getting rid of bad caretakers and methods to replace them with better ones.

You took it extremely seriously, and would have any so called interviewers or investigators removed from the premises, to not mess with your patients’ care.

You gain a bit of a reputation in the media at how incredibly cruel you can be to the people who wish to use and abuse your patients. Some call you crazy for protecting them, especially as everyone knows Michael Myers resides there.

But to you, it doesn’t matter. You have no spouse, no children, you haven’t talked to your family since you left home at 18, all you truly have is your job, so that is what you use your energy on.

And if a lot of that time is spent with Michael, then so be it. Having Michael actually emote or pay attention to you, is a big step in the right direction in your book. You can never get him to talk, but he does succeed in learning a couple of signs, though you suspect he only does it because he knows it makes you happy.

Later you would look back on Michael’s escape as something you blamed on yourself. Over the long time you had been his caretaker, you always made sure to be there on Halloween, since it was such an important date for him.

He never told you this, obviously, but you could tell. It just happened that you had needed surgery around that time, something you couldn’t put off as much as you wanted. If you wanted to keep caring for your patients, then you needed it done.

So, it truly shouldn’t have been such a surprise for one of your nurses to call you in a panic that Michael had somehow gotten out. Being bedbound, there wasn’t much you could do but give orders from home and watch the tv.

You didn’t technically live in Haddonfield, but you lived close enough that you could bike to town for groceries if you needed to, but also so you could drive to work without much issue.

Seeing no reports of murders outside the usual made you sigh and slump in on yourself. You had put off taking your pain medication, wanting to be clearheaded and aware, just in case you needed to be. And what else kept one clear in the head but pain.

As bedridden as you were, there wasn’t much you could do when you heard your back door open. You only knew it was that door, as it had a loud squeaky hinge you never got fixed, as it wasn’t like you used that entrance much.

Seeing Michaels looming stature shouldn’t have been a shocker either. What did amaze you to a certain, professional extent, was that he hadn’t put on his usual coveralls or mask, instead it was one you two had made together using safe materials.

There was no verbal or physical reply when you spoke to him, outside of a slight rise of tension in his shoulders when he heard you grunt in pain, as you turned to look at him.

You didn’t want to call the hospital, knowing just how volatile Michael could be. And you may have replaced many doctors and nurses, but they still feared him, all but you at least. The only thing you truly could do was speak to him, to make him stay so he didn’t go kill anyone.

Maybe it was the years of care you had given him, but Michael at some point moved closer, just staring down at you and the bandages around your stomach.

You had a feeling he wanted to poke it or maybe just unwrap it, but you had worked with him about other people’s pain tolerance. Michael still only seemed to care when it was you, but you put a lot of stuff in his notes about your professional opinion and growth.

There were worse caretakers than Michael. In all reality he wasn’t really a caretaker. A lot of it was just him standing by the door, in the corner, or right at the foot of your bed to watch you. Hed shuffle after you wherever you went in the apartment, even carrying you when you couldn’t move too much.

you had decided to heal enough to bring him back to smith’s grove when you healed enough, already knowing how violent Michael could be with other people.

To Michael though, this meant more than you meant. He wasn’t one to feel lust or much romantic attraction, but he was drawn to you and attached enough to just stay, to even bring you your pill bottles and water, like how you would to him at smith’s grove.

You theorized it made him happy, in his own way, to know he was helping in the ways he knew how. Another more paranoid part of your brain did worry about what he did when you slept, since the pain medication had that effect.

Nothing ever looked out of place, but you did catch him kneeling beside your bed on more than one occasion, just holding your hand. Or the times hed place your hand on top of his head so you would caress him.

It was inappropriate for a doctor to do such a thing with his patients, but Michael seemed calmer and more at ease when it was just you two. He couldn’t cuddle in bed with you, and neither did he seem to want to, but being held and coddle in small amounts seemingly worked for him.

Michael clearly wasn’t pleased when you took him to return to smith’s grove, but he actually came along without issue. It caused a whole media storm, but over the years you had mastered those too. As long as it helped your patients, then you would do it, to a certain extent.

And if giving Michael weekends at your place where he got to stalk you around your own property was what he needed, then so be it. you saw it as progress, in his own, weird way. Hell, Michael even started sitting and having dinner with you instead of just hovering. To you that was a win, no matter what others said.

#male reader #michael myers #halloween #slasher #michael myers imagine #michael myers headcanon #michael myers x male reader #michael myers x reader #halloween imagine #halloween headcanon #halloween x male reader #halloween x reader #slasher imagine #slasher headcanon #slasher x male reader #slasher x reader #doctor reader

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lukolabrainrot · 5 months ago

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Welcome to My TedTalk

Hellooooo, I know I have been a little MIA lately... needed a little break after the energy shift from the rollercoaster last week. But I am still here lol and I have been marinating on quite a few things the last couple of weeks. So below are my thoughts. As always, everything here are just my thoughts and speculation from the information I have seen. Others might interpret information differently, and that is fine. Note: This will be another one of my long posts lol

Let's start with the obvious. October was a ROLLERCOASTER. It started off soooo strong, and the closest I think we have ever come to L/N publicly announcing they are in a relationship. And THEN... It was just total whiplash the rest of the month. Not a fun feeling right?? And I think a lot of people have started to feel like they can't trust L/N and have sooooo many questions on why October went the way it did. I think a lot of people are also feeling very frustrated because we have gotten so many clues/crumbs/Easter Eggs that haven't really led anywhere. All your various feelings around everything lately are valid. But L/N are allowed to do what they want (obviously) and if crumbs/Easter Eggs are all they want/can show us rn, we have to accept that. October was a rough month for me as well on this ship, which is why I took a couple breaks. We have to remember that we choose to be on this ship, we don't HAVE to be. It's totally valid if you're feeling overwhelmed/not having fun on the ship anymore, you can always take a break and come back if/when you want to. WE DO NOT KNOW L/N. NONE OF US. These are celebrities whose lives are very different than ours (which I know is obvious, but I thought it was important to note). They are human though and allowed to be imperfect, and we get to choose how much energy we give to them. And I have said this multiple times, but they do not owe us anything, and DESERVE to have a private life. We have so many questions related to them, and the fact is, we are never going to have all the answers. And you know what, that is how it should be imo. We are not owed every little detail of their life, and honestly, we got lucky we even got crumbs. THEY DID NOT HAVE TO DO THAT. They will go public WHEN they want/can.

People have talked about this before, but we got an AMAZING tour from them and sooooo much content. SOOOO MUCH. And we got addicted, and then were were cut off cold turkey, and papgate was a total grenade that threw everything into chaos. However, L/N were OBVIOUSLY hiding behind their characters during the WT (no one can convince me otherwise). And we talk about blurred lines between them and their characters, but L/N ARE NOT Polin (although there are a lot of similarities with their stories). There were definitely blurred lines between them and their characters yes, but neither of them are their characters and are a lot more complex and complicated. Lastly, I think because we got soooo much content from them, and they were obviously using their own personal relationship/feelings for each other to promote their characters and the season, L/N kind of lost control of their public narrative related to their private lives. I think that, and leaving everything open to speculation (STILL), was their biggest mistake. But like I said, everything has to be on their own time, and they do have good teams to handle this stuff.

I think we all know this already, but in case it's not obvious... DM has a personal vendetta against N, they do not like her getting positive attention, and I can't stress this enough, THEY WANT HER TO FAIL. 1000%. I think there are a lot of complexities on why this is the case, but you can make your own conclusions on why this is happening. But it IS happening. And you should never get your information directly from DM. They are a sensationalist, tabloid blog. THEY ARE NOT A RELIABLE NEWS SOURCE. THAT IS A FACT.

This fandom has turned INCREDIBLY toxic, and most of the drama is coming from WITHIN the fandom and in-fighting. We don't have concrete answers about ANYTHING related to L/N's romantic lives. Shipping should be fun and low stakes, because ultimately, who they are dating doesn't REALLY matter. That is their personal life, and they are not defined by who they are dating. But like I just mentioned, I think L/N leaving the wolves to mass speculation was one of their biggest mistakes, and has now led the fandom to where it is and this mass speculation and interest in their dating lives, which is feeding the tabloid frenzy and rumors.

Alright, now that I got that out of the way, on to my thoughts on everything the last couple of months:

Firstly, I HIGHLY recommend, if you haven't already, reading through this entire post by @fiamat12. It is incredibly enlightening and well laid out! Couple things I want to add/note:

The paparazzi are a money hungry machine, constantly looking for opportunities that will get them the most money. Ethics... out the window. Ethics/respect doesn't get them money. As long as there is a demand for "candid" photos/videos of celebrities' private/personal lives, and unless laws/regulations significantly change around them, this industry will continue being this way. This means though that the material they circulate is not always what meets the eye. It is just a moment in time with very little context, and in general, a total violation of privacy. However, unfortunately, it is a beast celebrities have to navigate, and sometimes they play games with them to protect their privacy.

L has not been seen in real time (via paps or people in public) since Sorrento. THREE MONTHS. And although we joke that L has just been holed up in their house (yeah I said it), L has definitely been out in public living his life. And y'all, people WANT to see him. I know he doesn't stand out as much as N and can blend into the crowd more, but there is NO WAY no one has seen him in three months. There is some strategy in place here where he has been able to keep a VERY low profile, and I think some of these side characters are part of that strategy. And no one can convince me that his low profile has NOTHING to do with the fact that him and N are together.

2. Alright, side characters... let's first get to the A of it because it's pretty obvious to me. I'm going to keep this short. She plays games. This isn't new. There are VERY likely NDAs in place. This isn't new information either. And she LOVES attention by stirring the pot. Therefore, any time we give her any engagement, we are feeding the beast.

3. Onto JD... this post basically summarizes my thoughts. NOTHING about JD has been private. There isn't anything to protect there from the masses. IF JD (and I'm not saying he is) was her serious partner, there wouldn't be so many public games with the two of them. There are a lot of games, and if this was a serious relationship she wanted to protect, she wouldn't be throwing him and her to the wolves. She just wouldn't. But L... she doesn't mess around about him. Although L/N have given us crumbs, they have obviously not been totally honest about their private relationship with each other (which is totally valid), because there is a lot there they want to protect from the wolves.

4. So if you have made it this far, you can see there is a LOT going on, and it's complex. And although L/N have maybe not been totally honest about everything, they don't have to be and there are reasons. And that doesn't therefore mean they have been totally disingenuous about each other and aren't to be trusted. I personally don't think they have. However, they want to protect their privacy. Even though October was a rollercoaster, in no way do I believe L and N are hot and heavy with A or JD. There is just too much evidence to the contrary that L/N are in a serious relationship BTS, and likely have been for a while. Here are some of the reasons I have come to this conclusion:

THE RINGS (everything about them)

The photo of L in her house while she was getting ready with a ring on his ring finger (we can argue all we want, those are his hands and that pic was VERY intentional)

N's TIME article

The October 3rd and BRB story from L (HE HASN'T DONE ANYTHING LIKE THIS ON HIS PUBLIC ACCOUNT IN A LONGG TIME)

The coordinated travel posts from L/N when they were going to NY

Chaos week from N in early August (that was about L, no one can convince me otherwise)

BLESS THE TELEPHONE (That was how I knew they were together and had been for a while likely... can't exactly explain it)

TalkTalk, Juna

The recent Polin pic they BOTH shared to their stories (they were both really emotional looking (N was absolutely beaming and looked like she had tears in her eyes) and the pic was VERY interestingly cropped 🤔)

All the "boyfriend" pics of L on N's IG page (I did a whole post about this that you can find if you scroll through my page)

The Polaroid(s)

THE WHOLE WT (which is why a lot of us are still here despite all the noise and emotional whiplash)

And trust me, both L and N know what people are saying and how people are interpreting the information they are putting out to the public. THEY KNOW. So if there was NOTHING going on between them, that would have been corrected atp and they wouldn't have fed the flames. But it hasn't and they have... They'll go public when they are ready/can. Until then, we just have to sit back, relax, and wait and see how everything unfolds.

And THAT is where I am with everything atp. Of course, we're all going to interpret the same information we are seeing a little differently, which is fine. This is just my interpretation of the information.

And if you made it to the end... thank you for coming to my TedTalk 😅

#lukola theories #just some thoughts #purely speculation

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soaps-mohawk · 6 months ago

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I'm so sorry to everyone that I freaked out with the last post, I was trying so hard not to 😭 I have that like instant fear as soon as I see "we need to talk" or something in the same vein. I always think it's something bad.

This isn't bad, at least depending on how your perspective I guess.

So...I'm having thoughts about CRCB in October. I planned out posting schedules for Kyletober and CRCB and my Patreon stuff and it's going to basically be a post every day, sometimes multiple in multiple places.

That's a lot.

So, I am set on doing Kyletober since all of the fics are already written, but I was planning on continuing CRCB during October as well. But...I think I need a little break from CRCB. It's been about eight months of posting almost every single week and it's been a lot. I'm struggling with chapters right now and with work it's vastly limiting the time I have to write and focus on things and I'm kind of burning out right now.

So, what I wanted to discuss was potentially putting CRCB on hold for October while I focus on Kyletober and everything involved with that. Trying to do both is a lot and I'm not sure I can handle all of it, plus life, plus work.

I was planning on not necessarily putting CRCB on hold, but doing more of a "whenever I can/am inspired" random posting chapters kind of like I did in the beginning when I first started writing the fic, in November/December because those are very busy months and I will be dead tired from work and just general life.

I think I might still do that for November/December and possibly into the new year since there's no way the fic will be finished even if I posted every week until the end of December.

BUT

That's something I'll think about and make a decision on later.

Right now, my thought is...would you hate me if I put CRCB on pause in October? IF I do, I promise I won't end Chapter 39 on a cliffhanger. I wasn't planning on it anyway, but I promise I won't end it on a cliffhanger if I decide not to post any chapters in October.

That way if I do put it on pause, then I can not focus on it for a bit and give my brain a refresh, and I can also focus all my energy on Kyletober.

So yeah, it's going to be a lot doing both at the same time, and honestly I'm ready for a little break from CRCB. It's been going for a long time and it's a lot of words to get out in a week. I've been super stressed lately and I'm just struggling a lot trying to get through chapters.

So yeah. That's basically the dilemma here and the discussion to be had. I know y'all will tell me it's my blog and I can do whatever I want, but I would like opinions on it. Are y'all okay with me putting CRCB on hold to focus on Kyletober? Then pick it back up for probably just whenever I can chapter updates for the rest of the year? In January things will calm down and I'll have more time to relax and write and maybe get close to finishing the story. Plus I know a lot of my readers will be busy the next three months with the holidays and vacations and family and school and all of that, so you won't have to worry about getting behind and having to catch up with a bunch of chapters.

So...let me know...

#I wish I could keep writing it every week #but I need a break #a little refresh one could call it #it might do all of us some good

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alchemistc · 5 months ago

Note

911 was always in my periphery bc of how popular Buck x Eddie is on Tumblr and Ao3. I didn't really want to watch a cable network procedural drama, especially one that came off as so unserious. I could also see how such invested shipping by a lot of fans who are young and think it’s ok to demand things from the cast and crew would inevitably become a toxic cesspool. I stand by that assessment of the show based on the behavior of the fandom these last months, as well as the overall quality of the writing and how often good story lines just get dropped or undermined.

However, I heard about Buck coming out. Over the summer, I was going through a lot and feeling aimless, so I finally started watching the show. And I liked Buck and Tommy, but what I really loved was the quality of the fan works they inspired. At the end of the day, I never really had real expectations of high quality television from a show like 911; that’s not what it’s for.

Despite this, what really affected me last night—which was also the first episode I bothered watching live ever because of how terrible this last week has been—wasn’t even how badly it was executed or the fact that they broke up. But how unnecessarily and viciously cruel the whole thing felt?

What was the point of showing Tommy as a caring, supportive, present partner in the previous episode if it was going to lead to an unceremonious break up? What was the point of showing his yearning for connection and family only to see him throw it all away? Why have him say such wonderful things about Buck moments before questioning the commitment of their relationship after six months together? What was the point of Buck getting that speech from Josh and bringing up marriage and moving in together and that Tommy had been a transformative relationship when it was going to end with him being dumped? It just felt so horribly cruel to see a character bare his tender heart and see it get stomped on. He looked so sad at the end.

Up till the very end of the episode, I was actually really enjoying it. Their acting was so good from heart eyes to heartbreak, and the show seemed to understand Tommy’s reaction to Buck getting hit on by those women would cause friction. It even made sense to me that Tommy would recoil at the prospect of moving in together because Buck clearly hasn’t come to terms with being queer yet (sir, you haven’t researched the Kinsey scale? You?) And Tommy is also clearly afraid to reach for the connections he wants and the seeming inevitability of his heart being broken and is masking that with nonsense about Buck needing to play the field and the biphobia present wherein. It was such an interesting depth to his character! I thought the break up speech was so well-acted, and I was so ready for the conversation they were going to have that would address it and let them move on together stronger. To see Buck learn from Josh and see the scars Tommy was unintentionally revealing in that moment and address them.

And then the credits started rolling and I felt like I got punched in the gut.

It was definitely the straw that broke the camel’s back for me, with the election and other personal stuff really stressing me out this week. Last night, I felt sick and unable to sleep, and I spent the morning bawling my eyes out. It feels like one of the few things I really looked forward to had been snatched away for the shock factor. I believe the interviews are the definite death knell, but even if you don’t follow the interviews, it was just a cruel way to end the episode. Even if this ends up being a temporary roadblock or they “fix” it, it’ll always leave a bad taste in my mouth.

Anyway, I’m upset that I let a show I always knew wasn’t very good affect me this much, and I regret spending months of my life on it. But the reason I wanted to send this ask was because my real hyperfixation these last few months was never the show itself; it was always the Bucktommy fandom. Reading some of the most beautiful fanfiction, including yours, these deep and intense character studies or au’s or future fics that show more love to these characters than the show does. The stunning art, the lovingly rendered gifs, the startlingly funny and insightful writing. The fandom has been my real love, and I hope that despite this huge blow, people like you will continue being so immensely creative and artistic for this ship.

I’m sorry this has been so long and vent-y, but I wanted to send you this ask because you’re one of my favorite fic authors, and I’ve been following your posts since last night and you’re still responding to anonymous asks. I’ve always been stealth in the fandom to avoid certain parts of it, so didn’t want this on my own blog. If you do publish it, I hope the other authors and artists and creators who have made my life better get to see it too <3 And that they don’t regret the time and passion and love they’ve poured into the last few months. I have appreciated it, if nothing else.

Hi.

First of all, please don't apologize for the length of this.

Everything you pointed out were exactly the reasons people joined this fandom. Everything you listed here is EXACTLY the reason it left such a bad taste in our mouth.

I'm sorry I won't be more eloquent in this post, because this is such a kind and thoughtful and lovely summation of all the things I've been hearing and seeing and feeling.

The point of all that, if we are to believe Lou (which I do, and honestly props to him for being as gracious as he was in those post-mortems: fucking TWO exit interviews for a guest star? wtf abc), WAS to pull the rug out from under the audience. It WAS to end it all on a shocker of heartbreak. They filmed the bulk of Tommy's S8 scenes AFTER the breakup. It is absolutely vicious and cruel and meant to make people talk about it. The engagement they are getting right now is to some extent WHAT THEY WANTED. I went straight to my notes after work and I can't be fucked to check the insta or FB to see if they've posted anything new and/or what the comment count is on the 8x06 posts but THIS IS THE INTENDED RESULT. Broken hearts, upset people, an increasingly toxic fandom crowing.

That's where I'm at. I think that's where a lot of people have landed. And it's so disheartening to see something that really genuinely drew people in because it was handled so gently and kindly at first just be ripped away and the door shut on it.

And honestly if they close the mid season OR open or close 8B on a premise that includes one of them being injured and the other having a Realization™️ I won't trust this team to do it genuinely or truly. Even the breakup would have held so much potential for me, but not like this.

Anyway. I'm sorry you're feeling so disappointed. I am grieving the missed potential of literally every plot they built up this season for every character and if I do watch it won't be live and I will likely have very little trust for it's potential. There has been So Much wasted potential.

And I want to say thank you. Even if you lurked, even if you disengage now, the creators who made those works made them out of love and they wanted to share them and the community around it all has been lovely to see. Thank you.

Some of us will still be hanging around building the world that could have been. I hope, if you feel up to peeking at that sandbox, that you feel welcome to go play in it or even just clap from the sidelines.

♥️

#bucktommy #catie for ts #truly sincerly thank you for loving bucktommy while it lasted #and thank you for putting all of my scattered thoughts into ine place #appreciate you ♥️

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henry7931 · 6 days ago

Text

World Of Magician: Magician’s University (MU)

In the World of Magician’s everyone wants to attend MU. That’s where you master magic the best!

And things can get very competitive…

Especially when this years freshman class finds out that Arthur Ridley is coming to MU.

Arthur as a young boy was special. His powers started to shine the second he started to speak and many believe he has the potential to be the most powerful Magician ever.

Arthur on the other hand, has no clue about his powers or Magicians for that matter…

Arthur:

It’s 7 PM and I just finished my shift at work. I feel so exhausted and yet like I’ve gotten nothing accomplished today. Actually I feel like that could be the motif of my life.

I’ve lived my last 19 years in a very small town surrounded by a bunch of bigots and douche bags. What doesn’t help is knowing that even though I’m smart, and I had the best grades in my class. I’m not going to college this year.

You see my mom died a couple years ago and she left me with her shitty ass husband. My stepdad Andy, who could really give two shits about me because he has his own son Owen.

I know this sounds like a pity party, but I just really want to get the hell out of here. I’ve always been a big fan of comic books and old fairytales.

And I don’t know I just keep hoping somebody’s gonna show up and tell me this is all of a façade. Like the life I’ve been living is a big lie because I’m ready to start a new one.

I lay my stuff down and count my tips from the night. It’s so early and yet I could go to bed right now.

I crashed into my bed and then buckled my pants…

Is this all I do now? Just jerk off to get over my stress? Is this true adulthood?

I fantasize about a handsome guy. Coming into my room and swiftly approaching me.

He’s sweaty… an all American boy.

He has clothes on but those will soon be off of him.

He says to me, “you look lonely… can I join you?”

I nod my head and say, “sure.”

He gets into bed kicking off his white tennis shoes. I can smell him— a mixture of cologne, musk, but his breath… smells like peppermint. He’s chewing gum…

I feel him touch me…

His feet are rubbing up on mine…

And his lips casually kiss my neck…

I feel his hand slowly slip into my pants…

HOLY SHIT!

I open up my eyes abruptly, I swear I just felt a hand going down my pants…

I try to get back into the mode but the phantom ghost hand is kinda freaking me out.

I get out of bed and I start heading to the bathroom but at the foot of my door there’s a letter. It’s addressed to me.

“Sir Arthur Ridley”

Huh… that’s strange. I never get mail.

I open it and take it with me to the bathroom. I start reading it as I’m taking a piss.

“ Dear Arthur, we are pleased to announce that you have been hand selected to join the freshman class this fall at Magicians University (MU). Now, please pack your bags and be prepared to meet your handler at this location.”

What the hell? Magicians University???

I head downstairs thinking this must be some kind of sick prank by Owen.

I knock at his door and say, “open up!”

“What the hell do you want?,” says my stepbrother who looks like he’s barely left his bed today.

“Owen did you make this?,” I say to him presenting the letter.

Owen looks at it and scoffs at me.

“Are you kidding me? I wouldn’t write this shit!”

Just then my stepfather approaches both of us and says, “what’s going on? I heard shouting!”

“Arturd here got a letter from the Fairy Academy,” says Owen dangling the letter.

I look over at Andy and he almost looks shocked.

“Give me that!,” he says ripping the letter out of Owen’s hands.

He reads it and looks more concerned.

“Andy, do you know something?,” I asked him.

“No! I don’t know anything, this is just— nonsense! I don’t want to hear about this ever again!”

Andy rushes me upstairs and tells me to find something to do. I was a little shocked by his reaction. He can be a lot but I’ve never seen him look that nervous…

Back in my room, I try to not think about that letter. But the place they listed to meet them is only down the road and I’m off.

I mean if I’m being honest with myself, I really don’t have anything to lose. What I show up and it turns out to be fake?

The Next Morning…

I wake up and feel so disappointed. I was having this dream where I met this guy and somehow we were both magical? I was casting spells, fighting off some kind of evil. And after we…

Never mind it doesn’t matter…

I sit up and stretch… when I felt something grab my ankle.

“AHHHHHH!!!!”

All of the sudden, Owen comes crawling out from underneath the bed.

“Arturd!! I’m the grand Wizard! We’ve come for you!,” he says stupidly.

“Funny Owen!”

“Oh what the wittle fairy princess didn’t like that?,” he says pushing me.

“Don’t do that!” I say to him.

“Or what? You’re basically my bitch!,” he says shoving me even harder.

“Fuck you!”

“You know what, I bet you could suck it good. You’d probably enjoy it,” he says grabbing his junk.

“Bleh! No one wants to suck your nasty dick! Including Hannah Britton!,” I say to him. I knew I hit a nerve with that one.

“What did you say?,” he says to me. His face gets blood red.

“You heard me!”

“OH YOURE DEAD!”

Owen pushes me in to my bed and holds me down. He gets one good punch in and I try to fight back.

“Don’t forget you’re MY BITCH Arthur!”

“THE ONLY BITCH HERE IS YOU!,” I scream out at him. I get the strength to push him off and he falls to the ground.

All of the sudden, Owen starts glowing bright.

“What the fuck?”

Owen’s face shifts… he looks up at me and sticks his tongue out.

“Owen?”

“Woof!”

“What the…”

My bedroom door slams open and Andy comes rushing in.

“WHAT IS GOING ON IN HERE?”

Owen turns to Andy on all fours and starts barking at him.

Now in this moment, I’ve never seen Andy this pissed.

“What. Did. You. Do. To. Him..”

“Nothing! He tried to attack me!! I swear!”

“Bullshit! You figured out about your little powers and did this to him!”

We both turn to Owen who in proper comedic time cocks his leg up and tempts to pee on the wall but instead pissed his pants.

“YOU FIX HIM RIGHT NOW!”

“Andy! I don’t know even know how this could be possible.”

Owen lays on his back and starts sucking on his foot. I can’t help but giggle just a bit.

“You think this is funny?”

“I mean he’s already more likable.”

Andy’s eyes pierce into my soul.

“Fuck.”

He starts charging for me and I barely make through the window. I climb out onto the roof and jump onto a tree. (This is how I used to sneak out at night.)

I climb my way down and start running down the road. I’m sprinting and I don’t even realize how crazy I look because I’m still in my PJs.

I try to think of where to go… then I remember the address on that letter.

That’s only a quarter of a mile away.

I head that direction hoping like hell someone will be there for me.

I get to the spot and it’s just an alley.

I look around for a second and try to catch my breath.

“Hello?,” I holler out.

It’s silent.

“My names Arthur, I’m supposed to meet someone here?”

Shit, I guess this is fake.

My mind tried to rationalize what happened with Owen. Like it was all just an elaborate act.

But then…

*BAM*

Smoke fills the alley and the motion of it knocks me on my feet.

I look up and see a very handsome guy in a suit.

“You must be Arthur,” he says with a big grin.

“Yeah that’s me.”

He helps me up and says, “ I’m Alfonso, your handler. Well more like a consultant, I don’t directly handle you haha! But I’m tasked with getting you and your stuff back to MU. Speaking of which, where is your stuff? And why are you in PJs?”

“Ummm… long story.”

“Well we don’t have to go back now. Orientation starts in a few hours. So how about this! A new wardrobe!”

Alfonso snaps his fingers and three suitcases appear.

“Oh wait! One more thing,” he snaps his fingers again and then I’m all of the sudden in some very expensive clothes.

“ Chic! Follow me handsome!”

Alfonso pulls out a wand, flicks it three times and says, “Take us to MU.”

A giant hole appears on the side of the brick wall, on the other side of it I can see a green field.

“Let’s go!”

We walk in together and just as I start to step in— I see Andy rushing down the alley.

Before he can catch me, I just wave goodbye to him.

On the other side of the portal, the green field has a road leading up hill. At the top, I can see a grand building— surprisingly modern.

“Is that the school?”,I say to Alfonso.

“Yes! That’s MU,” he says to me.

“Wow, it’s not what I expected,” I say to him.

“What did you expect Hogwarts?,” he says to me jokingly.

“Yeah I guess,” I say back to him.

As we head up the hill, Alfonso tries to fill me in on as much as he can.

“Arthur, you need to know something before walking in—”

Alfonso stops walking and looks distraught.

“What? Is everything okay?”

“Yes. I just can’t believe I’m the one who has to tell you all of this— Arthur you need to understand that uhhh… you’re special. You have more power than anyone here,” he says to me.

“WHAT?!? Am I the chosen one?,” I say back.

“Oh Merlin! Arthur please don’t make another Harry Potter reference, it’s going to embarrass you.”

“Sorry! It’s my first day!”

“It’s fine Arthur, just be prepared. These students know your name and some of them are going to pass judgment before you even meet them.”

Damn, I wonder what makes me so special?

We get to the front of the school and I see so many students. Everyone is ridiculous gorgeous and so well dressed. So happy that Alfonso didn’t let me roll in with just my pajamas.

But I start to notice a bunch of them whispering to eachother as I walk past them…

Alfonso is pacing fast which I wasn’t sure if he’s rushing for a reason or if it’s because of who I am. He points out parts of the school to me as I’m trailing behind him trying my hardest not to get distracted.

“In the left wing, you have the schools library and over here is where most of classrooms will be,” he says while we head up a flight of stairs.

“Now you can go all the way up to the 12 floor but DONT GO TO THE THIRTEENTH FLOOR. Students are forbidden,” he says to me.

“Is that where you hide the Sorcerer’s st—”

Alfonso stops and turns to me. He gives me a glaring look and I say, “sorry it’s kinda funny now!”

“I’m being serious Arthur. You can get kicked out for going to the thirteenth floor.”

“Understood.”

“Now here is the dorm floor, you’ll be in… room 26. Right down this hallway,” he says directing me.

We get to my dorm room and it’s so lavish. I have my own bathroom with a shower and a tub. A full kitchen along with a balcony. It’s like a large studio apartment with a modern gothic twist.

“So this is all me?,” I say to him.

“Well you will have a roommate, who I’m sure will be here any minute. But I’m going to let you get comfortable, be downstairs out front in the garden at 3:00 today.”

“Great! Thank you Alfonso!”

“Of course! And one more thing— no more magical tv/movie references,” he says to me sternly.

“I promise I’ll stop,” I say to him rolling my eyes.

Alfonso closes the door behind him and open up the suitcase. It’s jam packed with endless amounts of clothes. As I start to unpack it, I wonder if it’s ever going to end.

I eventually give up on the never ending suitcase and crash into my new bed.

But as I lay down I hear the door turning.

As it opens, I glance up nervously to see who’s behind it.

And when I see who it is… I’m immediately stunned. It’s the guy from my dreams last night.

“Hey! I think this is my room,” he says to me.

I’m so shocked that I can barely get out words.

“Sorry! I’m Benji,” he says holding at his hand.

“Oh uhhh— I’m Arthur!,” I say shaking his hand.

Fuck, he’s got a tight grip.

“Nice to meet you,” I say trying my best not to be weird.

Benji hops onto his bed and snaps his fingers. All of his luggage starts to unpack itself.

“So Arthur, where are you from?,” he says to me.

“The East Coast, small town,” I say back.

“Oh nice! Any specific Magician Area or—”

I watch as he kicks off his designer shoes and pushes back his curly brown hair. His green eyes are so beautiful. It takes me a second to really taken what he’s staying to me.

“Oh no! I’m from a normal area,” I say back.

“Oh gosh, you lived with normies?,” he says to me.

Normies, I guess that’s what they call non-magicians. I should have known they had a word for it! Alfonso, should really clue me in on Magician slang.

“Yes,” I say back hoping he’s not too judgmental.

“Wow, I guess that must of been hard,” he says back.

“Ehhhh not really, I mean I didn’t know any other kind of life outside of that until today,” I say to him.

Benji sits up and says, “Come again?”

“I mean, I just learned about being a Magician this morning,” I say to him.

Benji’s eyes widen and I am hoping I didn’t say too much.

“Holy shit! That’s crazy!! You prior to today had no clue about magic?,” he says to me.

I nod my head.

“Arthur that’s… I’m sorry I’m not trying to be mean but that’s bonkers! Did your parents not tell you?”

“Well I don’t know anything about my dad and my mom passed away 3 years ago. So it’s not like anyone was around to tell me anything other than my stepdad who definitely kept that info away from me.”

I can see Benji is thinking hard, he starts to speak and then stops.

Then he says, “Arthur, what is your last name?”

“Ridley…,” I say quietly back to him.

Benji’s mouth drops.

“You’re the Arthur Ridley? The glowing child in the flesh??? And you don’t know about Magic???”

“I guess,” I say laughing nervously.

“That’s insane! Arthur, you have no idea. Has anyone told you anything?”

Benji gets off of his bed and he’s so close to me now.

“You have to be careful Arthur. These Magicians… I don’t know how to put this but they want what you have inside of you. You’re the direct lineage to Merlin. Your powers are just so…powerful! It’s almost too much to comprehend.”

“Shit, should I be scared?,” I say to him.

“No! Hell no!! I’ll have your back but some of these guys get a big head. They’ll challenge you, try to take your powers. You just need to learn how to use them and you’ll be fine!”

Benji grabs my shoulder and says, “just don’t go announcing your name just yet to everyone.”

“Got it,” I say back to him.

“Now I need to take a shower,” he says to me.

“Okay, I’ll see you shortly.”

“Oh no Arthur, I don’t need to shower my hair. Just my body.”

“Huh?”

In that moment, I watch Benji tug off his head.

“OH MY GOD BENJI!”

“What?!?! Oh sorry!,” he says holding his head in his arms.

“You could have given me a bit more of a heads up, no pun attended!”

“Just wait Arthur you’re going to be amazed by what you see,” he says to me.

I watch as Benji’s body places his head on his bed.

His body starts unbuttoning his shirt and I’m trying my best to keep eye contact with just his head.

Benji grins at me and says, “you okay?”

“Yeah don’t take this the wrong way, you’re just the first person I’ve ever seen pull of there head,” I say to him.

“Oh sorry, didn’t mean to make this weird,” he says to me.

“No it’s okay! I just have a lot to learn I guess.”

Benji’s body walks into the bathroom and the door is slightly open. I can see him in the mirror pulling off his pants and socks.

And then his underwear drops to the ground.

I see Benji’s beautiful naked body in the mirror and I can’t help continuously peek at it from the corner of my eye.

“So Arthur, you wanna learn how to detach?”

“Oh wow, that looks next level Benji.”

“Nah, it’s pretty easy. You just have to say the spell once and then you can do it whenever you want.”

“Okay, sure!”

I try my best to hold back my excitement. I mean I’ve never casted a spell (at least not on purpose).

“Okay Arthur, repeat after me… My head is attached…”

“My head is attached…”

“With the snap of my fingers it can now detach… and then snap your fingers”

I take a deep breath and say, “With the snap of my fingers it can now detach… *snap*”

“Great! Now tug at your head,” says Benji.

I grab the top of my head my hair and I hear a popping sound.

“Holy crap!! Benji my heads off!!,” I say holding my head in my arms.

“Haha cool right? You can use that same spell on any of your body parts,” he says to me grinning.

My mind rushes with all of the possibilities and then I say, “wait can I attach myself to someone else’s body??”

“Sure you can, it just can be a pain getting your head off of there body.”

All of the sudden Benji’s body comes walking back in with a towel wrapped around it.

I watch him navigate through his drawers pulling out clothes.

And then he drops his towel… now he’s completely naked…

I look over at his head and he’s looking at me.

I blush and start to say something but Benji says, “you know since we are roommates, you’re going to have to get used to my naked body.”

“Oh sorry! I um…”

“Arthur, it’s okay. I just giving you shit. Sides it’s kinda cute seeing you all worked up,” he says chuckling to himself.

Did he just say I’m cute? Is Benji hitting on me???

Man… this is about to be a crazy first year…

Meanwhile… Back at Andy’s House…

*knock knock*

“Who the hell is at the door?,” says Andy still trying to figure out how to fix Owen.

Andy opens the door and a tall man dressed in a black suit is standing outside the door.

“Good evening sir, is this the residence of Arthur Ridley?,” he says with a low yet deep voice.

“Depends, who’s asking,” says Andy.

The man grins and says, “you must be his step father… May I come in?”

“Listen I don’t know who you are but I got my own situation here… I especially don’t give a shit about that little brat right now.”

The man takes a step forward and says, “maybe I can help with your situation.”

Andy takes in the guy and realizes that this man probably has magical powers.

“Are you one of those?”

“Magicians, yes.”

“Thank god! I need you to help me with my son, my actual son.”

“Sure…but I’ll need something back…,” he says sharp of the tongue.

“Whatever! Just fix him! He’s pissed on my rug twice today!!”

The man shut the door behind him and says, “tell me where Arthur is…”

“I’ll tell you after you fix his mess!!”

The man stops and closes his eyes… he mumbles to himself…

That’s when Owen pops out from the top of the stairs.

“WHERE IS THAT LITTLE SHIT ARTHUR???,” says Owen fuming.

The man in all black turns to Andy and says, “yes, where is young Arthur?”

“That stupid magic school,” says Andy.

“Wonderful, well I must go!,” says the man in all black.

“Wait! Are you going to hurt him?”

“Hmmm… haven’t decided yet…”

As the man walks out the door… Andy watches him turn into black smoke…

“Dad, who was that?,” says Owen.

“Who knows and who cares!,” says Andy.

#magic #male tf #male nbm

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koifsssh · 2 years ago

Text

The Greaser Au!

(oh goodie! it's here!)

bwah, where to start?

long, long, long rambles below! (Beware!)

Wally! I'll start with Wally!

As you can imagine, Wally is the little leader of the group! Promptly dubbed after his last name, "The Darlings"! (how darling they are indeed!)

Wally had grown a fascination with the trend, though he didn't quite understand the need to act so tough and mean, so he decided to make his own group! (with the help of Barnaby!)

Motorcycles, catchy tunes, being free on the road is something everyone should enjoy! So who cares if you're big or small, or if you like the color pink? Anyone can be a greaser as long as they got a jacket and a bike to go along with it!

At least, that what he believes anyway!

Speaking of a certain beagle...

Barnaby!

Barnaby of course wanted to join in on the fun, and he very publicly advertised Wally's gang at his little comedy nights! (It did catch a certain blonde's attention!)

it did garner attention, with the way the beagle so affectionately told of Wally's endearingly comedic actions from their day to day life. Barnaby also helped Wally organize the entire set up, helping him get paint and base jackets for the painter to personalize! (He also suggested Poppy's diner as a hangout spot! He had it all thought out!)

Plus, it made his best friend happy! Who could ask for more? Well... maybe Barnaby would ask for a hotdog or two.

Julie!

Julie is a seasoned hair stylist! She owns her own hair salon! She's excellent at her job, however more often than not she gets a unpleasant customer.

Stress can pile up unfortunately, and when she attended a comedy show one evening she couldn't help but be ecstatic at such an idea of being free on the road. It felt like the perfect destresser!

Talking on the phone with Frank was great and all, but nothing compares to feeling the rush of wind in her hair... So she jumped at such an opportunity! And of course, Julie doesn't go anywhere without a certain frowny bookworm!

Frank!

Frank is an entomologist! (and a part-time librarian during the summertime!) A dream job really, but every dream comes with its hurdles! Similar to Julie, Frank found themself stressed. Usually books were able to decompress them, but lately they've been growing frustrated, the one thing they hate the most is incompetent writing!

It took a lot of convincing to get Frank to even consider the idea of being a greaser, let alone get on a motorcycle... but Julie can be very insistent when she wishes to be! Not even a week passed before they begged Julie to stop her nagging, but in exchange they had to at least go with her once on a motorcycle...

how mortifying.

However! the thrill of being on the open road at a high speed was something they never knew they needed! Needless to say, after that, they were hooked!

Sally!

Sally was the last member to join! and she took her spot quite quickly!

Sally had been in Poppy's diner when she saw The Darling's walk in, she was in awe! Colorful motorcycles? Matching jackets? They all looked marvelous! The star couldn't help herself when she walked up to them, simply starstruck at such a group!

They all looked to be having such fun... she wanted to take part!

When Sally asked if there was a spot left for her, Wally softly smiled at her and stated, "Anyone and everyone can join!"

She was content that day, and from then on, it really was the best group of friends she could ever ask for!

---

whew! im done!

(this is my second time typing this... i had lost it all the first time. bwah. but it's here!!!)

im quite happy how everything turned out! I think i'll use this as a master post of sorts, just so you don't have to dig through my stuff just to find anything specific!

I'll leave Poppy's & Howdy's explanations here! (Just know those designs are old! All the designs in this post are the ones i will be using!)

Poppy's Diner!

additionally! I will give you everyone's closeups!

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inbabylontheywept · 8 months ago

Note

Hey, so for context it's 3:45 AM where I am, and I'm stark awake at this hour because I had to take a nap yesterday due to eating a meal I really shouldn't have that is still wreacking havoc on my intestines. I'm definitely going to regret sending this ask HARD once the sun comes up, but I've been doing a lot of unadvisable shit on the internet over the past 3 days so why not add this to the pile.

I'm kind of having a weird emotional thing right now over your last post because it's just too ridiculous to be true, and I'm realizing the majority of your blog is probably all creative writing not intended to be taken seriously, but I've believed everything you've claimed to be a true story up until this point? And now I'm faced with either being a gullible fool, or an asshole for saying this if it IS all true, and I have to ask or I'll never know? I shouldn't be letting this get to me but it is.

So please, I ask sincerely and with no intention of being a jackass, are your life stories actually all true, or are they supposed to come across as obviously exaggerated or wholly fictional? I'm sure I could piece it together if I lay in bed and thought about it for an hour or two, but I think I'll just take the L and ask outright because fuck it.

But THEN if it truly is just a creative writing blog, would you keep the bit going and claim it's all real when it's not? Like, do you see why I'm going crazy? I am a very gullible, easily lied to person and that has lead me to be on high alert, but I almost always jump at the wrong things and come across as a distrustful asshole, so?? Will you assume this ask itself is LARP because of all the specific details I tacked on, which are intended to garner a sense of sincerity? I'm realizing I may have been playing checkers with someone playing chess all this time and I'm wigging out man

So, I'll start with the small stuff first:

The camp was in Prescott, AZ, in the mountains, over labor day weekend which is in late fall. I don't know the actual temperatures as numbers, but the people at the camp spent more time being cold than hot. The camp organizers also did bring a ludicrous amount of the pink sauce. I don't think the campsite itself was ever intended to provide potable water, just utility water for the showers and dishes and other non-for-direct-consumption tasks. So in that area, the camp people overprepared because Arizonans don't fuck around with dehydration.

I'm also pretty sure they had some water available, they were just very careful with it. I think there were a few diabetic kids, and they were making sure they wouldn't have to subsist on the weird gatorade like everyone else. Maybe. I don't honestly know.

But that's one story, and the thing that you're really asking is, are all these stories fake? Is it all just creative writing? And the answer to that is a soft no.

As a writer, I'm pretty strongly influenced by Patrick McManus. A lot of my stories are told in the American Tall Tale style - which is exaggerated, and dramaticized, but tells a story that is true nonetheless. I am going to keep the specifics of the exaggeration and dramatization between myself and God, but I would look at my stories and say that they're each more than 80% true. I hope that relieves some of your stress.

I wouldn't call what I do creative writing exercises. But I also wouldn't encourage you to take them 100% seriously. Both because I talk a big game, and because they are, at the end of the day, just funny stories. I certainly wouldn't want you to lose any more sleep over them.

You aren't a jackass for expressing incredulity. It's part of my style, and I welcome it. I also wouldn't call you a gullible fool for believing things in the past. We're good, you and I, and I've enjoyed having you as a reader. I hope you keep reading. Just, maybe not at 3:45 AM. Take care of yourself, Babylon

#Babylon-Lore #Babylon-TopPick

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millenianthemums · 2 months ago

Text

Chapter 6 of Mabel’s Guide to the Power of Friendship is up!!

Writing this one took me a while, and then the art also took a while… everything took a while. i always enjoy writing this once i get to it, though! hope you enjoy this one too.

INDEX

chapter text under cut:

It was hard for Mabel to really relax, knowing that Bill was lurking just below the floorboards. But by the time the sun was low and her family was gathered around the dinner table, she’d mostly put it out of her mind. It was hard to be miserable with them around.

“You think Soos will bring more empanadas when he’s here tomorrow?” Dipper asked, picking at the strangely opalescent casserole on his plate.

“If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were insinuating something about my cooking,” Ford said wryly.

“Whaaat? No! No, don’t be– that’s ridiculous,” Dipper said. “This is great! I mean, it’s a million times better than last time, this one didn’t even come to life and attack us–”

“Don’t jinx it,” Stan said.

“Hey, c’mon, guys,” Mabel piped up. “It’s the thought that counts, right? It’s really sweet that he tried. Besides, even Grunkle Ford can’t be perfect at everything.”

Ford chuckled. “Thank you, Mabel. As far as backhanded compliments go, that’s quite nice.”

“It’s true!” she said. “So what if you’re not a chef? You invent, like, six magical contraptions a week!”

“That’s a wild exaggeration,” Ford said with a grin. “It’s been at least a month since the last one. Although Fiddleford and I have made some real progress on our current project…”

“New project?” Dipper perked up. “What is it?”

“Oh, I don’t know if the details will interest you that much–”

“Shaaare!” Mabel demanded. Dipper immediately joined in, both of them pumping their fists and shouting “Share! Share! Share!” until Ford laughed and gave in. They all knew he didn’t really need that much encouragement, but it was fun anyway.

“Alright, alright! I’ll tell you.” Ford waved his hands to set the scene, the way he always did when he started talking about science stuff. “So, we all know that unicorn tears have remarkable healing properties, right? But we also know that unicorns aren’t generous creatures, and trying to obtain some tears by force often creates more injuries than they could ever heal.”

Stan snorted. “And how many tries did it take for that lesson to set in?”

“Not the topic, Stanley. Anyway, our goal was to synthetically recreate the healing properties of the tears, eliminating the need to seek out the real thing. This has been in the works for a long time; in fact, our biggest breakthroughs came from studying the sample Mabel and her friends obtained last year…”

Dipper extended a fist to Mabel, and she proudly bumped it.

“...And I must say, we’ve had some very promising results with the latest prototypes! There have been some hiccups here and there– we really should have fireproofed the lab sooner– but I think in the next few weeks, we might even end up with something that could surpass the healing properties of unicorn tears!”

“Nice!” Mabel held out a fist to Ford. “Take that, you overrated horses!”

Ford laughed, accepting the fist bump. Stan clapped a hand on his shoulder. “Here’s hoping you get it workin’ before we set out again. It’d make things way less stressful on the boat. Heck, the coast guard medics might even have time to forget our names!”

“Wait, you’re setting out again?” Dipper asked. “When?”

“End of the summer, same as you kids!” Stan said proudly. “First thing in September, we’re headed right back out there.”

Ford nodded. “We still have a lot more to investigate. I expect we’ll be very busy once Fall comes around, which is why I’m under strict orders to ‘take it easy’ while we’re here. Otherwise, the elixir would probably be finished by now–” Stan crossed his arms, and Ford quickly added “--but I completely understand the point of it. Rest is important, kids.”

“Darn right,” Stan grunted. “Far as I’m concerned, we’re both on vacation for the summer.”

Dipper tapped his fork on his chin. “So you won’t be studying Gravity Falls for a while?”

“C’mon, brobro,” Mabel chided. “Grunkle Ford’s willingly taking a break for once, let’s not remind him of all the extra stuff he could be doing!”

“That’s not what I meant!” Dipper protested. “I’m just saying…”

“It’s a fair question,” Ford said. “There certainly are plenty of mysteries left unsolved around here. But I think Stanley and I have broadened our focus a bit too much to give special attention to Gravity Falls anymore. Just our brief stay in the Arctic Circle alone has raised so many fascinating questions, and we still have so many more places to investigate… there’s just not enough time to solve all the world’s mysteries, I’m afraid.”

“Hey, relax, Poindexter,” Stan cut in, shoving Ford’s shoulder. “We’re not the only ones working on this stuff. Something tells me Gravity Falls’ll be in good hands, even without us.” He gave Dipper a meaningful wink. Mabel couldn’t help but smile at the way her brother’s face lit up.

“Hey, guys?” Dipper asked, leaning back in his chair and trying to seem subtle. “Can we talk after dinner? I was hoping to get some feedback on this project I’m working on…”

Mabel’s smile faded. “Is it about that dumb thesis contest?” She turned to the Grunkles and pointed accusingly at Dipper. “He won’t let me help with it! He wouldn’t shut up about how cool it would be to win and get a big smarty-pants paper published, and now that he’s allowed to start working on it he won’t even tell me what it’s gonna be about! I could have done like fifty illustrations by now if—”

“I told you, there’s nothing to share yet!” Dipper protested. “I’ve… kinda been putting it off. I’ve still got a week until the topic proposal’s due…”

“Then what do you need Stan and Ford’s ‘feedback’ on?”

Dipper tugged at his shirt collar. “Uh… it’s…”

“I could help,” she said, voice a little louder than she’d wanted. “Even if it’s something I’m bad at, I could help make it look cool. If you just told me a little bit about it…”

Dipper sighed. “Look, Mabel, I promise I’ll share it with you soon, okay? I just… I want it to be a surprise.”

Mabel looked at him doubtfully over the rim of her water glass. She wanted to keep prying, but it was clear she was just making him uncomfortable. He didn’t want her help, he just didn’t know how to say it. She could tell.

“Okay,” she said, trying not to sound hurt. It was fine, really. She had high-speed bike riding; Dipper was allowed to have things just for himself too. It was normal for twins to grow apart. She drained the rest of her glass and stared down at the tablecloth.

An awkward silence hung in the air for a moment. Then Stan spoke up. “Speaking of surprises. Hey Sixer, remember that thing we ran into off the coast of Greenland in March?”

Ford laughed. “How could I possibly forget? Now, kids, I don’t know about you, but nothing in my paleontology education gave me the impression that wooly mammoths were aquatic…”

Soon Mabel was too wrapped up in seafaring stories to be sad about anything.

——-

Bill must have fallen asleep at some point. He’d been lying there, in the basement, in the dark, with the Pines’ infernal voices ringing above him, but then something had happened. The voices changed. And suddenly he wasn’t in a basement anymore. He was lying on an exam table, and his arms were strapped down, and his eye wouldn’t close, and the air was thick with antiseptic. And there were voices all around him, moving around him, but he knew he couldn’t look, he just had to keep his eye focused on the stars overhead, just don’t look, just don’t look at them, just pretend they’re not there, pretend you’re among the stars and nothing’s happening, nothing hurts. So he didn’t look away, not even when the quiet voices he could hear through the pain changed again, became painfully familiar, he still didn’t look, even when they started screaming, even when their cries and pleading were drowned out by the sounds of flames, even when the heat waves twisted the air and the crunching, sizzling, tearing sounds and the smell of burning meat drowned out all his other senses he still didn’t look, he didn’t look down, he wouldn’t–

And then he was back in the basement. It was dark and still. The only sound was his own ragged breathing.

He sat up and scrubbed at his face with the blanket he’d been wrapped in. Dreams. He hadn’t been ready to deal with dreams. Other people’s dreams were a riot. Not his own.

He’d been distracted too quickly to dwell on the last one. He’d foolishly hoped that would be the last one for a while. But no, of course not. This world couldn’t allow him even a moment of peace. Every sleep was going to be like this.

In the dark, he staggered to the small bathroom in the back of the room. He ran the cold water in the sink and rinsed his mouth until he forgot the taste of the smoke. It was so vivid. So convincing. Even though none of it had made any sense, it felt real.

He stared numbly at the mirror. Their voices. He’d remembered them, of course. Despite all the worlds that had sprouted and withered between then and now, despite everything he’d tried, he’d never been able to stop remembering them. But he never thought he’d have to hear those voices again.

Someone knocked at the door.

His first thought was “thank god”. He’d been desperately hoping for anything else to think about. His second thought, as he heard the door unlock, was “that could be anybody”. So he stood just at the edge of the room and prepared to run for cover, until a small, high-pitched voice said “It’s me.”

Bill relaxed a little. Not a lot, but more than zero. He scrubbed his face dry and straightened his bowtie before she entered, trying to look as stoic as possible. She didn’t seem to notice anything amiss as she rushed in and slumped against the door to shut it. Both her hands were busy carrying an overloaded paper plate.

Trying her best to not let it fold under the weight of the food piled onto it, she glanced around for a surface to place it on. The curved lid of the wooden chest was considered, then quickly rejected when the plate started sliding. She winced before resorting to setting it down on the floor beside the beanbag. Finally, she retrieved a packet of plastic utensils from a takeout place and laid it beside the plate, trying to make it look presentable.

“We need to get a table or something in here,” she muttered as Bill drew closer to inspect the offering.

“YEAH, SOME APPLIANCES WOULD BE NICE TOO,” he joked. “I’M THINKIN’ A STUDIO APARTMENT KIND OF SETUP. WASHER AND DRYER OVER THERE, THAT CORNER’S THE KITCHEN… FULL-SIZE JACUZZI ON THAT SIDE, OBVIOUSLY…”

“I have six dollars,” Mabel piped up.

Bill laughed before he could stop himself. Encouraged, she went on: “I mean, there’s an empty fish tank and a car battery in the garage. We could make a hole in the side and stick a blowdryer in there for a jet. That’d be fine, right?”

He laughed again. “I LIKE WHERE YOUR HEAD’S AT, KID. IF WE SHUT OFF THE SPRINKLERS, WE COULD SET UP A FIRE PIT IN THE KITCHEN CORNER!”

“Perfect plan!” Mabel laughed along with him, but then seemed to think better of it. “But okay, hold on, we can start with the home renovations later. For now, you should eat.” She pointed to the plate. “It’s just some leftovers from tonight. Figured taking more snacks would look suspicious. But if it, uh… disagrees with you… then just let me know tomorrow.”

That wasn’t a glowing review. Looking dubiously at the alleged “food” on the plate, he didn’t see much reason to doubt it. Still, he tried to look grateful as he picked up a plastic fork. “WILL DO,” he said, trying not to look down.

“I’ll come back down tomorrow, before the others wake up,” she said, crossing back over to the door. “Including Grunkle Ford… ugh, that’s gonna suck. But once I’m back, we’ll figure out a plan, okay?”

Bill glanced around the room. “I THOUGHT THIS WAS THE PLAN,” he said.

“C’mon, you can’t just stay in one tiny dark room all summer! This isn’t Guacamole or something.”

Bill snorted. “GUANTANAMO?”

“Whatever,” she said, flushing. “The point is we need to get you outside once in a while. You have scales, things with scales need sunlight or they get sick. And what’s the point of all this work if you get sick and die??”

She had a point there. Bill shifted uncomfortably, realizing he wasn’t totally sure if the sun thing would apply to him or not. “YEAH, FAIR ENOUGH. KEEP FORGETTING THIS…” he gestured to the body, “…THING NEEDS ‘VITAMINS’ AND SUCHLIKE.”

“Relatable, honestly. But there’s a bunch more stuff to plan out, too! We need to be able to contact each other in emergencies. And, like, a secret knock so you know when it’s me, and a code to communicate…” as she spoke, her hands started flapping with excitement. “Oh my gosh, it’s like one of those spy games Dipper likes. We could make a guidebook with all this stuff! Like a, what, codex? For the code? We could make our own code! You can handle that part— I know that’s your thing, it’s literally your name… I get to do all the art, though. It can have a scrapbook vibe— I gotta find my craft scissors with the zig-zags—”

“KID.” Bill cut her off. “I KNOW IT’S IN YOUR NATURE NOT TO TAKE STUFF SERIOUSLY. IT’S A GOOD TRAIT! MAKES LIFE A LOT MORE BEARABLE. BUT THIS ISN’T SOME SILLY SUMMER CRAFT PROJECT. THIS IS LIFE OR DEATH, GOT IT? CAN WE TRY TO ACT LIKE IT’S IMPORTANT?”

She looked hurt. “Silly things are still important,” she muttered. “We could hide it in here. And even if someone finds it, it could be any goofy old thing I made! Dipper showed me how to do that invisible ink thing; I could act like the empty space is just unfinished parts! I dunno, I just… I thought it’d make this whole thing a little more fun.”

Bill squinted at her as she stared at the floor, arms crossed tight over her chest. Then he rolled his eye. Maybe he was being a choosing beggar here. This was Mabel Pines; of course she’d want to make some stupid game out of this. And the whole plan was to humor her. If this was what it took to keep her invested, he should probably just play along.

“OKAY, FINE. I’M IN,” he sighed. “WE CAN MAKE A BOOK OR WHATEVER.”

She lit up again. “Really?? Yes! Awesome! It’ll be so fun, I promise.” She paused and glanced at the dark window. “But we can start that later. I gotta go get at least a tiny bit of sleep first.”

Bill shrugged. “SURE. CAN’T KEEP THIS BODY ALIVE IF YOURS GIVES OUT.”

“Thanks for the concern,” she snorted. “And see you in the morning.” She gave a quick wave before shutting the door behind her.

Watching the door, he heard the heavy “clunk” of the lock clicking shut, then rapid footsteps bounding up the staircase. He sighed and pinched his forehead. That much youthful energy couldn’t be sustainable. She probably wouldn’t live past 20.

As he waited for the various noises and occupants of the house to settle, he wolfed down the food as fast as he could. The kid was right to be apologetic, but if he ate quickly, he didn’t taste it much. It was just fuel anyway.

When the plate was finally empty, he dropped it back to the floor and picked up the plastic fork. He rinsed it in the sink as well as he could, wiped it dry with the paper napkin that came with the set, then bent one of the tines away from the others. He leaned one side against the crack in the door, listening intently to the silence from above. There wasn’t a whisper of movement.

He stuck the tine of the fork into the lock.

It was more stubborn than your typical household lock, but Bill had bested much worse with much less. It only took a little finagling before he heard the “clunk” he was listening for. Slowly, cautiously, he eased the door open. The hallway was dark and empty. He stashed his impromptu lockpick in his hat, locked the door behind him, and crept up into the house.

—-

The place was as quiet and dark as he’d hoped for. He’d been right to judge by the footsteps above him that they’d all gone to bed. And thankfully, even without his usual glow, the stars outside were bright enough to see by. He crept along with his back against the wall, testing each floorboard before he stepped, scanning his surroundings.

The decor was about the same as he remembered, with a few notable changes. A lot of the ceiling and walls had been replaced; probably necessary after they turned it into a big stupid robot last year. And it seemed like someone else might have moved in. There were some new decorations that weren't anything close to the “style” he’d come to expect from the place. Lace doilies hung from the tops of chairs and sofas like dusty cobwebs, and handmade blankets and wall hangings were scattered all around. Shooting Star was crafty, sure, but these didn’t look like her handiwork. The colors were way too easy on the eye, and there wasn’t a crumb of glitter to be seen. If they were her doing, they were a big step down in quality.

But if they weren’t, it meant an extra person to deal with. Better keep his eye out.

He turned a corner and a massive shape blotted out the hallway ahead. He scrambled back, clenching his teeth tight beneath his eyelids to stop a yell from escaping.

Then his eye adjusted, and he had to stifle an irritated growl. It was just that stupid pig. He’d forgotten how huge it was now, and it looked a lot less pathetic from a low angle. It was sitting in the middle of the floor, directly in his path, staring down at him. Its eyes glittered in the moonlight like two tiny black teeth.

Bill glared up at it defiantly. Just let it try and make a move. He might not have magic, but he still had claws and teeth. A ripped throat wasn’t as flashy as immolation, but it was still perfectly fatal.

The pig returned his stare with no discernable expression. A few silent seconds crept by.

Then the pig gave a grumbly snort and laid its head on the ground. It flopped onto one side and closed its eyes with an indifferent sigh.

Bill hurried on, telling himself to thank his lucky stars instead of feeling indignant. Still, his ego stung a little. Not even livestock saw him as a threat anymore.

To his relief, he had no more surprise encounters as he cased the second floor. The layout of the rooms was about the same as before, which meant the sounds of walking from above his little home base would still be a reliable method of tracking the inhabitants. He steered well clear of all the bedrooms and kept his back to the wall, and the floorboards beneath him kept silent. He was out of practice with walking, sure, but nobody who grew up causing problems ever forgets how to sneak through a hallway.

Once he’d made mental notes of all the storage spaces that might have supplies he could use, he headed for the portal. On the way through the gift shop he snagged a small notepad and pen from behind the desk. Scanning over the portal wreckage, he made a list of the missing components and tools he’d need. In code, obviously; secret codes were literally his name, after all.

Once the darkness outside started to lift away, he cut his work short and headed back. He tore the used page from the notebook and placed it and the pen back where he’d found them, exchanging them for a single paperclip that he stashed in his hat with the paper. That was all he felt comfortable taking for now. It was much too early to start gathering supplies. Anything left out of place would definitely make the kid suspicious. For now, he’d just plan. Make sure everything went as smoothly as it possibly could. He wasn’t sure how he was going to get all the power tools and steel he’d need down to the basement without being noticed, but there was no point freaking out about it now. He’d figure out logistics later. He could pull this off. He was going to pull this off. He had no other choice.

By the time the first pink rays of light had breached the horizon, he was back in the cell. The paperclip made a perfectly serviceable lockpick to latch the door behind him. Like nothing ever happened.

He curled up in his nest of blankets, trying to hold his eye open. Hoping to ward off the dreams a little longer. But eventually his exhaustion won the battle. His eye slid shut.

Maybe the next dream would at least be over quick.

—-

Bill’s wish came true. As soon as he jolted awake, he regretted making it. It felt like he’d been yanked out of a tar pit by his eyelashes, but his brain stayed behind. His head, chest and eye socket all felt like they were stuffed with wet cotton, and his bones were shaking with this sudden painful chill. His thoughts were so slow and muffled that it took a second for him to even realize that someone was staring him right in the face. He lurched away and fell backwards off the beanbag.

Mabel poked her head over the beanbag and beamed down at where he lay on the floor in a tangle of blankets. “Morning!” she said in a bright half-whisper. “How’d you sleep?”

Bill glared up at her with silent disdain. After a moment, she seemed to take that as an answer. “Yeah, me too. Had a lot of stress dreams. Anyway, time to figure some stuff out.”

She disappeared from view for a moment, then reappeared at his side with a fuzzy pink notebook and a chunky pink pen with a glittery pom-pom topper. She leafed through the book for a minute, then looked up at Bill. “You ok?”

“I’M DYING,” Bill croaked. It was barely hyperbole. That freezing, sinking pain just kept getting worse. Every second he kept his eye open, it felt like gravity increased tenfold.

Mabel hissed through her teeth. “Hold on a second.” She vanished from view again, then popped back in with a mason jar full of what looked like the fluid from inside a neon pink glowstick. She propped him upright and shoved it into his hands. “Drink this.”

Bill ought to have been at least a little suspicious of a drink presented so vaguely. But a billion years of drinking cocktails made from substances meant to power quantum reactions, combined with the weight of sheer exhaustion muffling all his thoughts, meant that he barely hesitated before lifting the jar to his eyelids and taking a gulp.

A second later, his eye shot wide open. “WHOA!” he shouted, blinking rapidly.

“Ooh, I might’ve put too many pop rocks in that batch,” Mabel said. She grabbed the jar and shook it, sending frozen fruit shapes and plastic dinosaurs clattering around in a glittery whirlpool. “Mixing it usually helps. Dipper keeps telling me to warn people before I give them this stuff—”

Bill grabbed the jar back. He took an approving glance at the crazy-looking drink— now that his brain was working, he could fully appreciate the vibe— and then knocked back another mouthful. A rush of energy buzzed through his brain, setting his neurons alight like christmas lights hooked up to a nuclear reactor. The dangerously sugary concoction stung the inside of his mouth like acid, but this was a fun kind of pain. “OH, THIS IS PHENOMENAL.”

Mabel’s face lit up. “You like it??”

“DO I?!” One more swig and the jar was empty, and Bill was actually bouncing in place a little. “I FEEL LIKE A WHOLE NEW TRIANGLE! WHAT IS THAT?!”

“It’s Mabel Juice!” she beamed. “My own personal secret recipe! It’s so secret, not even I know what the secret is! Seriously, I hardly ever write the ingredients down.”

Bill laughed. “WELL, COLOR ME IMPRESSED, KID! I HAVEN’T HAD A DRINK THAT GOOD SINCE THAT BATTERY ACID DAQUIRI I MIXED BACK IN THE ‘30s. AND THIS ONE DIDN’T EVEN DISSOLVE MY STOMACH!”

Mabel’s smile dropped for a second, then returned. “I’ll take that as a compliment!” she said proudly. “I’ll bring more down later. I’ve got a million different brews you can try! The others don’t drink much of it, they always complain about how there’s ‘so much sugar’ and it ‘burns their mouths’ or whatever…”

“HEY, THEIR LOSS! I’LL TAKE IT OFF YOUR HANDS! EXTRA BURNING ON THE SIDE, IF YOU’VE GOT IT,” Bill offered. He had to hand it to the kid; she made pouring on the charm pretty easy. In a better world, he would’ve hired her as a barista in the Fearamid.

Mabel grinned, but then her face froze. From somewhere upstairs, the familiar sound of heavy, clomping footsteps rang through the ceiling.

Bill froze in place too, his eye locked on the ceiling. His teeth clenched tight behind his eye socket as he tried to repress his anger. Like a favorite song after you set it as your morning alarm, that sound made his blood boil on contact.

“Grunkle Ford’s up,” Mabel whispered. Bill glanced over to see her watching the ceiling too. “I thought he’d at least sleep ‘til five…”

“RISKY GAMBLE THERE,” Bill muttered. “FORD DOESN’T HAVE A SLEEP SCHEDULE, HE JUST WORKS ‘TIL HE KEELS OVER.”

“He’s working on it,” Mabel said defensively. Maybe Bill hadn’t kept all the derision out of his voice. He kept his mouth shut, just to be safe.

“Okay. Alright. This is fine.” The kid was clearly reassuring herself more than him. “He shouldn’t hear us down here. Nobody heard you screaming your head off the other day, they shouldn’t hear us just talking… we should be fine for now. As long as he doesn’t wander down here and happen to just randomly get close to this room. Or wander upstairs to his office and pass our bedroom and happen to look in and notice I’m not there. So as long as he stays on the exact floor he’s on now, we’ll be okay…”

“KID, RELAX. YOU SOUND LIKE PINETREE,” Bill laughed. “WITH HOW LOUD THOSE STEPS ARE, WE’LL HAVE A TON OF WARNING IF HE HEADS FOR ANY STAIRS. JUST CUT TO THE CHASE SO YOU DIDN’T WAKE ME UP FOR NOTHING.”

She shot another worried glance at the ceiling, then nodded. “Okay. Sure. The chase… hold on.” She grabbed her notepad and pen again, then started rooting around for something else in the backpack she’d brought. “The Chase, part one. Secret messages. Ooh, that’s good.” She opened the book and labeled the first page with that title. Bill bit his tongue to stop himself from pointing out that huge pink bubble letters weren’t the best choice for subtlety.

“Now,” she said, throwing the notebook down like a frazzled detective presenting her notes. “I would’ve loved to, like, build a two-way radio out of soda cans, or find a way to send smoke signals through the A/C system or something. But I think we should wait on that ‘til later. Right now, simplicity’s the name of the game.” With a victorious flourish, she revealed the thing she’d fished out of the bag. It took a second for Bill to parse what the battered old thing even was. A cell phone. An ancient, blocky brick of a flip-screen cell phone.

“YEESH!” he exclaimed as she shoved it into his hands. “WHAT ANCIENT BURIAL GROUND DIDJA DIG THIS THING OUT OF? IT’S OLD ENOUGH TO BE YOUR DAD!”

Mabel snorted. “Give me a break! It was the best one I could find in the closet where Grunkle Stan keeps all his burner phones.”

“WELL, I’D HATE TO SEE THE COMPETITION!” Bill remarked. “WHAT WAS THE WORST ONE, A CLAY TABLET? A BONE CARVED FLUTE TO CALL THE NEANDERTHAL TRIBE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE MOUNTAIN?”

Mabel hid a giggle behind the turtleneck of her sweater. All according to plan. Jokes were a great way of lowering a mark’s defenses, even if they didn’t land. And despite her best efforts, Shooting Star was a good audience.

He held down the power button and marvelled as the dusty, scuffed screen actually lit up. “WHAAAT! LOOK AT THIS LOGO! THIS COMPANY WENT UNDER IN 2002! THE CEO BURNED DOWN THE OFFICE TO HIDE TAX FRAUD AND MELTED HIS EYELIDS OFF!”

Mabel clapped her hands over her ears. “Ugh!! Why would you tell me that?”

“BECAUSE IT’S HILARIOUS! THE GUY WAS A TOTAL LOSER ANYWAY, HE WAS TOO UPTIGHT TO TAKE MY DEAL AND COULDN’T EVEN HANDLE A WEEK OF NIGHT TERRORS BEFORE HE CRACKED—”

“Anyway!” She cut him off. “This was the only phone I found in the closet that could send texts. We need to be able to keep in touch, so you can let me know if you’re hurt or need more supplies, and I can warn you if people upstairs can hear you practicing your evil laugh or something.”

“WHA— HEY! WHO EVEN— NOBODY NEEDS TO PRACTICE THEIR LAUGH, THAT’S JUST STUPID.” Bill hoped he didn’t sound too defensive. There was no way she actually knew about that, right?

She just rolled her eyes, holding back a smile. “Point is, that phone is yours. Nobody’ll recognize that number. My number’s in there already, you can text me in morse code if you need something.”

Bill looked up from the phone screen to squint at her. “MORSE? C’MON, KID.”

“What’s wrong with morse?”

“THAT’S THE MOST BASIC CODE IN EXISTENCE! YOU REALLY THINK ANYBODY IN THIS HOUSE WOULDN’T RECOGNIZE MORSE WHEN THEY SAW IT?” he said. “YOU THINK THEY’LL SEE YOU ANSWERING TEXTS IN MORSE FROM SOME RANDOM NUMBER AND HAVE ANY OTHER THOUGHT BESIDES ‘SHE’S HIDING SOMETHING’?”

Mabel sighed. “Okay, fine, Mr. Code Snob. What should we use?”

“WE SHOULDN’T ‘USE’ ANYTHING. WE JUST KEEP THINGS VAGUE AND SIMPLE,” he said. “ANYTHING THAT EVEN LOOKS LIKE IT MIGHT BE CODE WILL JUST GET PEOPLE’S ATTENTION. BESIDES, IN A HOUSE FULL OF CON ARTISTS AND MYSTERY DORKS, I DOUBT THERE’S ANY CODE WE COULD USE ON THIS THING THAT NONE OF THEM WILL RECOGNIZE. THESE TEXTS NEED TO BE AS BORING AND UN-MYSTERIOUS AS THEY CAN POSSIBLY BE. SO BORING THAT NOT EVEN PINETREE IN HIS SNOOPIEST MOOD WOULD GLANCE AT ‘EM TWICE.”

Mabel pursed her lips. “Spam!” she said after a minute. “Dipper and I get spam texts from random numbers all the time. We can make up a system where I know what you’re saying based on what you’re trying to sell me. Like a scam alphabet!”

Bill’s eye crinkled with his version of a grin. “NOW YOU’RE TALKING!”

Mabel grabbed her pen and started rattling off scams to list in her notebook. Stan had clearly taught her well, and between the both of them they soon had a massive list to work from. On the opposite page, they listed phrases to match with each scam. “NEED FOOD”, “NEED SUPPLIES”, “INJURY”, “FIRE”, “RACCOON GOT IN”, and so on. As soon as they had a workable “alphabet”, the kid insisted they start deciding on secret knocks. They’d just started to argue about whether “shave-and-a-haircut” was too uncreative, when suddenly Mabel stopped short and held out a hand. Before Bill could ask what was up, he realized what she’d heard. A voice from upstairs. A voice that was much too prepubescent to be Ford’s.

“Dipper’s up,” Mabel hissed. “Why is Dipper up? He never gets up this early on his own… Did he notice I was gone? Is he looking for me?? How am I gonna get back up without—”

“GEEZ, RELAX,” Bill said. “LOOK, THE STAIRCASE TO THE ATTIC IS RIGHT ACROSS FROM THIS ONE. JUST WAIT UNTIL HE’S IN THE KITCHEN…” he pointed to that corner of the house, from where Ford’s voice was now ringing through the ceiling, “AND YOU CAN SNEAK BACK UP WITHOUT BUMPING INTO HIM. JUST DON’T LET HIM SEE YOU LEAVING THE BASEMENT, AND WE’LL BE FINE.”

“I don’t like how much you know about our house.”

Bill pointed to his eye. “REMEMBER HOW HALF THE DECOR IN HERE USED TO BE MY EYES?”

“Yeah, duh. Doesn’t mean it’s not creepy.” She shuddered, and Bill tried not to laugh. At least the memory of his powers still inspired fear… but he didn’t want her knowing how happy that made him.

Mabel gathered up her stuff and headed for the door. “I gotta go before he notices I’m not sleeping. Soon as I get a chance, I’ll sneak back down and we’ll sort out the other stuff on my checklist.”

“FAIR ENOUGH. BE SEEING YOU, KID.” He couldn’t resist putting a little extra emphasis on that word, pointing to his eye again with a smug, half-lidded smile. Shooting Star was his ally for now, sure. But she shouldn’t forget where things really stood. He was the one who was really in control here.

“And I’ll use the We Will Rock You knock.”

“UGH, COME ON!” Bill protested. “I’M TELLING YOU, SHAVE-AND-A-HAIRCUT IS THE GO-TO FOR A REASON, IT’S PRACTICAL—“

“See ya later!” She winked and vanished through the door. The lock clicked heavily into place.

Bill glared daggers at the door until the sound of footsteps had faded away. Then he took off his hat and rifled through the lining, taking a reassuring glance at his folded-up notes. And the paper clip fastening them in place. That dumb kid put way too much trust in that lock. Did she really not realize the danger she’d let into her house? Did she really not know what she was dealing with?

His eye was drawn in by a soft gleam from deep within the hat. He brushed some fabric aside and stared at the fragment of his dimension. It caught the dim light in the room and threw it back much brighter, twisted into colors that didn’t exist anymore. It hurt to look at it with this new eye. He let his gaze rest on it longer than he should have.

Then he tore his eye away and shoved the hat back on. No, she definitely didn’t know. The fact he was still here— still alive— was proof enough of that.

#gravity falls #mabel’s guide to the power of friendship #bill & mabel friendship au #bill cipher #mabel pines #euclydia #milleniart #robin writes stuff

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badkitty3000 · 1 month ago

Text

Coming And Going

Five Hargreeves x Female OC, 5.5k words, one shot

This one shot has been around for about two years now, but only on AO3. While I try and make my brain work again and make it think of new stuff, I figured I'd put this one out there. It's one of my favorites, so maybe someone else will find it entertaining, too. 😽

This comes from my "Halo" series on AO3, where Five is married to Vivian and they have a little boy together. It's just a little snapshot into their domestic life, with lots of smut and humor, as per usual.

Summary: Number Five has just about had it with the lack of sexual encounters in his marriage these days, and he just might be going insane. But that's not going to keep him from trying his hardest to finally get some relief

OR: Five keeps getting cock-blocked

Warnings: Smut, light bondage, teasing, Five being both adorably sexually frustrated and also the man in charge, Daddy kink

Five was going to die. He was sure of it. He’d been close to death many times in his life, but this was definitely the closest he’d ever felt. He could feel it in his bones. He felt it in his guts and in his blood. And most definitely he could feel it in his balls. Because if he didn’t get laid soon, they were going to shrivel up and fall off. And then he was going to die.

“Five! What the hell?! That was our dinner!”

Vivian had just witnessed Five heave an entire pan of lasagna straight into the trash. He had been grumbling about the sauce not setting properly and before she knew it, their whole dinner was now sitting at the bottom of the trash can.

“Was that really necessary?”

He whipped his head around to face her. “Yes, it was actually. It turned out like trash so it belongs in the trash.”

Viv shook her head and closed her eyes before exhaling a long breath. “What is with you lately? You’ve been in a bad mood for the last two weeks. Actually, longer than that. I’m used to you being your normal grumpy self, but this is bad even for you.”

Five ran two frustrated hands through his hair, aggressively combing it back with his fingers. “I’ve just been a little stressed lately.”

“About what?”

“Shit, Vivie, I don’t know. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that we haven’t had sex in an eternity!”

Viv frowned. “You’re being overdramatic. It has not been an eternity.”

“Oh yeah? When was the last time?” he demanded.

She paused. And then had to think about it. “Last week.”

Five looked at her like she was speaking a completely different language. “What are you talking about? We most certainly did not have sex last week.”

Viv cocked her head to the side, her lips pursed. “Pretty sure we did. Remember? We were watching a movie on the couch and you started getting all handsy.”

Five sighed loudly and crossed his arms. “Oh, I remember very clearly. I remember getting the green light from you and in the ten seconds it took me to take my pants off you passed out!”

Viv chuckled softly. “Oh, right. Yeah, sorry about that.” Five shot her a very unamused look. “I was tired, ok?” she explained.

Seeing the comically stressed expression on her husband’s face, Viv laughed and ran a hand down his chest. “Aw…my poor baby. I’m sorry I haven’t been a very good wife lately, have I? How about I make that up to you right now, hmm?”

She pressed her body against his, pushing her chest onto him. Her hand traveled down his stomach and cupped the growing bulge between his legs. She leaned in and kissed his neck. “Since you threw my dinner in the garbage, I’ll have to find something else to eat,” she purred in his ear.

The groan that crawled up Five’s throat was embarrassingly loud, and he closed his eyes as she continued to stroke him.

“Fuck yes..” were the only words he managed to get out.

As Viv sank to her knees right there in the kitchen, Five couldn’t believe his luck. He leaned his back against the island, his hips already twitching forward in anticipation. With his head dropped back, he felt her hands hastily unbuckling his belt and undoing his pants. He wanted to look down and watch what he knew was going to be fucking amazing, but he was so sexed-up right now he was afraid that just the sight would make him lose it before she even touched him. With eyes closed tight and mouth open, he waited for what felt like hours. And then he felt her warm breath on his skin and her hair brush his thighs. Oh god, please don’t let me come on her face right now.

At just that precise moment, the backdoor to the house banged open loudly, slamming against the wall and bouncing back again. Klaus burst into the house, not bothering to knock as usual, and entered the kitchen like some kind of fabulous tornado.

“Hello? – Oh, there you are! How are you, my dearest brother?”

Five’s eyes flew open and Viv pulled back so suddenly, she fell back on her butt, catching herself with her hands behind her. Looking down at her, Five saw that after her initial shock, she was about to start laughing, her hand covering her mouth. He, on the other hand, found nothing amusing about this situation.

Five covered his face with his hands, still facing away from Klaus. Because of the angle and the kitchen island, Klaus was unable to see past his waist to know what was going on below.

“Jesus, Klaus! Don’t you ever knock?” Five barked over his shoulder. He was still standing there with his pants down around his ankles, not wanting to be obvious by bending over and picking them up. His previously rock-hard boner was shrinking fast.

Klaus shrugged. “Not really, no. Man, it smells good in here. What’s for dinner?” He looked around, sensing that something was slightly off about the situation, considering Five still hadn’t turned around or looked at him. “What’s going on? Why are you facing that way? Where’s Viv?”

From the floor behind the counter came the unleashed giggles of Vivian, who was now trying to help Five put himself back into his pants. “Hi, Klaus.”

Understanding immediately what was happening, a wide, shit-eating grin cracked over Klaus’s face and he clapped his hands together. “Oh, you dirty little birdies…shame on you! I do believe it’s considered a health code violation to perform such sinful acts in a place of food preparation, is it not?”

Viv couldn’t stop giggling and she stood up, popping her head up over the counter once Five was all packed away again. Seeing the furious look on Five’s face, she doubled over. Soon she and Klaus were laughing loudly and hysterically while Five fumed, his arms crossed on his chest.

“I hate you both,” he grumbled.

Viv tried to gather herself together and she gave him a kiss on the cheek. “No, you don’t. But I am sorry.”

Klaus put on a very fake serious expression. “Yes, me too.”

Five glared at him. “No, you’re not.”

Klaus shook his head, smiling again. “No, I’m really not. This made my day, actually.”

Muttering mostly unintelligible words under his breath, Five adjusted his pants once more and then grabbed the set of car keys that were nearby.

“I’m taking your car,” he grumbled to Viv.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going to get take-out.” And then he stomped out the door, slamming it behind him.

“You better not jerk off in my car! That won’t come out of the leather!” Viv called after him.

They were finally alone again. The house was quiet and dark, all locked up for the night. Viv was already in bed, trying not to doze off while reading a book. Five had taken a quick peek inside their five year-old son’s room to make sure he was sleeping soundly. Seeing that the coast was clear, he leapt into bed beside his wife, practically launching her into the air.

“Jesus! Five, what –“

She didn’t have time to protest any further before Five was throwing her book to the floor and climbing on top of her, kissing her roughly. She gave in after a few seconds, kissing him back and running her hands down his sides. He already had his hand up her shirt and was groping her tits.

“Get your clothes off,” he panted into her mouth.

“Well, get off of me and I will,” she laughed.

He climbed quickly and clumsily off of her, trying to unzip his pants at the same time, while Viv started to pull her shirt over her head. “Fucking finally,” he whined.

Just as Five had tugged his pants off and was working on Viv’s, they heard a noise. The worst noise you can hear as parents when you’re trying to have a moment alone. The sound of your child’s footsteps coming toward your bedroom.

“Mommy?” came the little voice from the hall. “I had a bad dream, can I sleep with you?”

“Not tonight, buddy,” Five called, at the exact same time that Viv said “Of course, sweetie.”

Five stared at her in disbelief as she gave him a dirty look and pushed him off of her.

“Seriously, Five, get a grip. He had a bad dream.”

Five flopped huffily onto his back, covering his face with his hands in frustration. Just then, James ran into the room giggling and flung himself on the bed, landing with his knee squarely on Five’s junk.

“Ah, shit!” Five yelled, clutching his crotch and groaning.

Oblivious to his dad’s pain, James snuggled under the covers next to his mom and smiled at her. Viv looked at Five, cringing.

“Are you ok?”

“Yeah…never been better,” Five croaked.

“Sorry, baby,” she said before kissing his cheek and turning out the light.

It was a few days later and Five was working in his office. He still hadn’t gotten lucky and it was beginning to feel like the universe was determined to never let him get laid again. Aggressively jerking off in the shower every couple of days was about the only thing keeping him marginally sane at the moment. He tried to tell himself that he had gone much longer without getting his dick wet before, but that was a long time ago and he’d most definitely gotten used to getting it on the regular now. A decades-long dry spell was not something he was interested in experiencing again these days.

Staring miserably at the computer in front of him, not even really reading what he was looking at, Five looked up when Viv walked in. She was smiling and looking mischievous. A small glimmer of hope sparked in Five’s chest.

“Guess what?” she asked, standing in front of him and placing her hands on his shoulders.

“What?” Five put his hands on her hips and looked up at her.

“I took James over to Diego and Lila’s for a couple hours. So we have the whole house to ourselves. Have anything in mind you might want to do?”

Five immediately pulled her onto his lap so she was straddling him in the chair. He threaded his fingers into her hair and pulled it tight, the muscles in his jaw tight. “There are so many things I want to do to you, we still might not have enough time.”

Viv smiled. “Then we better get started.”

Five’s hands were everywhere on her body, he didn’t even know where to keep them. First on her hips, then her ass, then her tits, and her neck. He was kissing her so hard he was barely leaving her enough time to come up for air. He wanted her right there and then and he couldn’t wait any longer. His hips pushed up into her so she could feel how much he was dying for her.

“Thank you for this, I love you,” he breathed, biting at her neck and making her quietly whimper.

Just when Five had convinced himself that it was really going to happen this time, Viv’s phone buzzed on the desk behind her. They both ignored it, but the buzzing continued until it was clear whoever was trying to reach her was not going to stop.

Five groaned. “Go ahead.”

“I’ll get rid of whoever it is, I promise,” she said.

But Five could tell by the tone of her voice and the expression on her face that he was doomed, yet again. Something important had happened. Something that was going to come between her and his dick again.

She crawled off of Five’s lap and hung up the phone. She gave him a sad and guilty look. “I’m so sorry. But I have to go.”

“You have to go? Are you kidding me?”

“That was work. All of the cold storage units decided to die and I need to help move all of the samples to another facility before they’re all ruined. I’m sorry.”

Five closed his eyes and groaned. He pulled her hand. “I swear, this will not take long. Please.”

Viv took her hand back and shook her head. “Just what every woman wants to hear. But I can’t. I really have to go, it’s an emergency.”

She started walking towards the door, leaving Five sitting dejectedly in his office chair, awkward boner still tenting in his pants. His voice was strained and desperate as he called after her.

“THIS is an emergency, Vivian! THIS!” he cried, pointing to his crotch.

Viv didn’t answer or even turn around. She just held up a hand in a dismissive way and walked out.

That was the last straw. Five decided that if fate and luck weren’t going to help him in this situation, he was going to have to do something about it himself. So, he booked the hotel, called his brother to watch James, and packed his bag in record time. Not that there was much to pack. He was really hoping they wouldn’t be needing many clothes.

Five and Viv dropped James off at Luther and Sloane’s, with Vivian taking an extraordinarily long time to say goodbye and chit chat. Finally in the car, just the two of them, Five squealed out of the driveway, the car practically turning the corner on two wheels.

“Are you ok?” Viv asked, holding on for dear life as Five turned another corner at top speed.

“I’m fine, why do you ask?” he answered, looking straight ahead, his eyes dark and intensely focused on the road.

When they arrived at the hotel and checked into their room, Viv was impressed. It was a very nice suite, with a large bedroom and generously-sized living area. She wandered in, taking in everything.

“Wow, this place is so nice! Great job, Five. This is amazing!”

Five didn’t answer, he just put the “Do Not Disturb” sign on the door and closed it, locking the deadbolt and slamming the swing bar latch closed.

Viv found the hotel information booklet and dining options on the table and started to read them. “Oh, cool, you can have champagne delivered to your room. Should we do that? I mean it’s kind of expensive, but…”

Five had blinked over to where she was standing and held out his hand to her. “Phone.”

She looked at him, confused. “What?”

He gestured with his outstretched hand again. “Give me your phone.”

“Ok….” She didn’t ask why, mainly because he was starting to look a little crazy, so she just handed him her phone.

He blinked away again, and she could hear him unlocking and locking the safe in the closet. Shrugging to herself, she walked into the bathroom to check it out.

“Oh my gosh, Five, come here! This bathroom is huge! Seriously, this tub is like a small swimming pool.”

Receiving no answer, she poked her head out into the room, just in time to witness Five blinking over to the windows and pulling the curtains closed with much more intensity than was really needed. He seemed personally affronted by the window treatments.

Next, he blinked over to the desk that held the hotel room phone, and yanked the line out of the wall.

“Five! You can’t just do that!”

Standing in the middle of the room, fists clenched, and breathing hard, Five looked around. He had been blinking around the room like a madman and his hair was sticking up in every direction. He looked at Viv and then disappeared in a flash into the bedroom.

Concerned, she followed him there, stopping when she saw him in the midst of undressing, wrestling his pants and shirt off like they were burning his skin. Viv lingered in the doorway, unsure of what to do.

Five stood next to the bed, naked and sporting an impressive hard on. He looked at his wife, breathing hard, with wild eyes. “Bed. Now.” He pointed to the obvious bed in front of him.

Viv liked when Five took charge sexually, but this was weird even for him. She wasn’t sure how to respond so she just stood where she was, trying to make sense of the situation.

Seeing that she wasn’t moving, Five groaned and ran his hands through his hair for about the fifteenth time that day, and then down his face. “Vivian, please, for the love of god. Just…take your fucking clothes off, and get on the fucking bed so I can fucking fuck you. Is that too much to fucking ask?”

Breaking into a wide grin and trying to suppress the giggles that she felt threatening to burst forth, she did what he said. Stripping down as fast as she could, she jumped onto the bed. In less than a second, Five was on her, pushing her legs apart with his knees and sloppily kissing her face and neck.

“Ow! Five, you’re on my hair.”

“Sorry.”

“What the – already? I didn’t realize when you said you were going to fuck me you meant right away…ah! Damn it!”

“Sorry.”

“Five…Jesus, slow down.”

“Sorry.”

“Ok, you need to move, because…”

“Oh, shit.”

“Oh, shit what?”

Five’s previously manic thrusting came to an abrupt stop as he let out a long, low groan into Viv’s shoulder and shuddered against her. Then he was lying limp on top of her while she stared at the ceiling and contemplated her life choices.

“Sorry,” he mumbled into her skin.

“Uh…yeah. It’s ok, I guess?” She didn’t really know what else to say.

Five rolled off and laid next to her on the bed, breathing hard and grinning like an idiot. Viv just stared at him, wondering what in the hell just happened.

Finally, he gathered enough brain power to speak a full sentence again. “I am so sorry. Really. I just…holy shit…I needed that.”

Viv propped herself up on her elbow. “Well, that’s nice for you, but what about me?”

Five reached over and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I know, my love. Don’t worry, I have more plans for you.”

“That’s great and all, but if the plans involve what just happened, I think I’m good.”

Five sighed, but he did look a little ashamed. “I really am sorry. Here, how about this? Come with me.” He got off the bed and held out his hand to her.

“I would have liked to come with you, but…” she grumbled under her breath.

“I heard that.”

He led her into the bathroom and started drawing a bath, adding the nicely scented bubble bath that the hotel provided.

“You can relax and take a nice, hot bath. Then we can do some more fun things.”

“More fun things? I can hardly wait,” she said dryly.

“I said I was sorry,” he said, looking a little pouty.

Viv smiled. She really just liked busting his balls now and then. It wasn’t very often that she got to mess with him about his sexual prowess, or lack thereof. He was usually at the top of his game.

“I’m just kidding, it’s ok.” She looked at the bath and back at Five. “There’s plenty of room in here, why don’t you join me?”

Five shook his head. “No, this is just for you. You enjoy it.” Then he gave her a kiss and walked out, closing the door.

When Viv came out, wearing nothing but a plush white towel around her body, she was stunned by what she saw. While she had been in the bath, Five had ordered a bottle of champagne that was chilling on ice, and a delicious looking tray of fruits and cheeses was sitting on the table. The lights were dimmed and there was music playing. And then suddenly there were arms around her from behind and Five was kissing her neck.

Viv hummed happily and laid her head back on his shoulder.

“You smell incredible. How was the bath?”

“It was lovely, thank you.” She turned around to face him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. “You did all this while I was in there?”

He shrugged. “Well, I figured you might deserve some pampering after that not-so-stellar performance in there.”

She laughed and kissed him gently. “I’m sorry we haven’t had a lot of alone time lately. Actually, no alone time. I’ll try to be better about that in the future.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“Well, we are finally alone now. And for the entire night.” She traced a finger down his neck and over his bare chest.

Five pulled her closer to him. “We can take the rest of the evening slow if you’d like. I’m just glad we get to spend time together.”

Viv raised one eyebrow at him, and then the corner of her mouth turned up. “Aw, it’s ok…if you don’t have the stamina, I understand.”

“Excuse me?” he responded, eyes wide.

“I know you’re nervous about underperforming, but that’s alright. We can just sit and drink our champagne, and…talk.” Her voice had a sarcastic bite to it, and Viv watched with satisfaction as Five’s eyes flashed and his smile turned vicious. It was exactly the response she was hoping for.

Before she knew it, his hand was circled lightly around her neck and he had her pushed against the wall, his body pressed forcefully into her.

“You just made a big mistake, angel,” he snarled into her face. “And now you’re going to have to be punished.”

Viv smiled again, despite the feeling of his hand pressing harder under her chin. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be bad.”

Five’s mouth turned up and he leaned in closer to her, his lips grazing her cheek. He placed one, small kiss gently next to her ear.

“I think you did mean to be bad,” he whispered harshly. “I think you know exactly what you’re doing.” He removed his hand from her neck and kissed her gently where his fingers had been. “You want to get fucked so badly, don’t you?”

Viv moaned quietly and started to circle her arms around his back, but Five caught her wrists in his right hand and pinned them both to the wall above her head. He looked in her eyes, then down at her body.

“Should we find out?” he mocked, before pulling the towel away that had been around her body, and throwing it on the floor. He smirked with satisfaction when she gasped. Then he kissed her lips so softly, her eyes closed and a soft sigh escaped into his mouth. At the same time, he ran a finger from his left hand down between her legs and up through her folds. He pulled back and smiled.

“I knew it.” He kissed her again, this time biting her bottom lip slightly. “You’re not fooling me, darling. I know what you want. But I’m going to make you beg for it. Let’s see how you like it, hmm?”

He pressed himself against her, his bare chest flush with hers. With one more soft kiss on her neck, Five pulled back, his eyes on her. He didn’t need to say anything, just his look alone was enough for Vivian to know what he wanted.

“Be a good girl for Daddy and get in the bedroom. Now.”

“Ok,” she whispered with a nod, her breath catching in her throat. Her chest was already heaving with anticipation.

Five let her hands go and he smacked her on the ass as she walked away. He followed her into the bedroom shortly after, a glass of champagne in his hand. He stopped in the doorway and leaned against it in nothing but his black boxers, watching her as she climbed into the bed to wait for him. He eyed her with a violent hunger that Viv craved and made her body feel alive.

She wanted him to own her. And she wanted him to erase all other thoughts in her mind except for him. Gone was the lighthearted teasing, and everyday married life. That was another life, far from that hotel room. When she looked at him, his eyes on her, watching her every move, she gave herself completely over to him. She was his. And only his.

Five walked slowly over to the bed, his eyes never leaving her as she leaned up against the headboard, her breaths coming rapid and ragged. When he approached, he set his glass on the table by the bed and gently caressed her cheek with the back of his hand.

“You’re so beautiful, angel,” he said quietly. “Beautiful and all mine. Isn’t that right?”

“Yes, Daddy.”

Five climbed onto the bed, straddling Viv’s legs on his knees and pulled her body roughly towards him until she was flat on her back. Leaning down, he kissed her neck, grazing his teeth lightly over her skin.

“Tell me you’re mine.” His voice was quiet but forceful and he gave another soft bite to her neck.

“I’m yours,” Viv whispered shakily, her body covered in goosebumps just from his mouth on her skin.

“You make me fucking crazy, you know that?” Five was working his way down to her breasts, placing kisses and rough bites all over her skin. “I have to live with you, walking around with this body of yours, and I can’t even fuck you when I want to?” He looked up with an intense stare, making sure she was locked in to him. “That’s not how that’s going to go from now on, is it my love?” He gave one last hard bite to her breast to make her yelp.

“No, Daddy.”

Five hummed into her skin, pleased with her answer, as his lips roamed farther south to her smooth stomach. “Good. Because if I want to fuck you, I’m going to fuck you wherever and whenever I want. Understood?”

“Yes,” she whined pitifully.

He had worked his way down between her legs, but he had yet to touch her in any way she was desiring, despite her pathetic attempts at trying to thrust her hips up.

“How does that feel, angel? Do you like being teased like that, but not getting any relief?”

“No,” she whimpered.

Five rolled her hips over to the side and smacked her ass before letting her onto her back again. “What was that?”

“No, Daddy.”

Five sat up on his knees, looking down at her, contemplating. “I think I need to teach you a lesson here.”

He got off the bed, leaving Viv lying there. Finding the hotel bathrobe in the closet, Five yanked the terry cloth belt out of the loops, testing the strength by stretching and snapping it tight.

“Hands over your head,” he demanded gruffly.

Vivian obeyed and Five began tying her to the headboard with the belt. The material was soft but strong, and he knew how to tie a good and tight knot that she wouldn’t be able to escape from. He stood back to admire the sight and he smiled.

“I like this. You can just wait right there for me. And maybe…eventually…I’ll come back to give you what you want.”

Viv made a helpless moaning noise and pulled at her restraints. Five smirked and picked up the champagne glass he had left on the table. Tipping the glass back, he emptied the contents, his eyes never leaving her face.

“Just to give you something to think about…” he trailed off, kneeling on the bed once more, spreading her legs open in front of him.

With no warning, his tongue was licking a long and hungry stripe up her already wet slit. He repeated this several more times as Viv writhed and bucked beneath him.

“Oh fuck…oh my god, yes…please keep doing that…fuck!”

Just as abruptly as he started, he stopped. Climbing off the bed, Five grinned evilly at her, wiping at his mouth with the back of his hand.

“There. That ought to give you plenty to look forward to. That is, if I decide to come back and give you anything.”

With one final smirk, and a long, sad whine from Vivian, Five walked out of the bedroom, leaving her as sexually frustrated as he had been for the last few weeks.

Of course Five was going to come back and give her everything she wanted, but for the time being he needed to let her sweat it out a little. He could hear her pulling the belt now and then and rustling around on the sheets, no doubt trying to get some kind of satisfaction or friction between her legs. Five wasn’t sure how long he was going to let her suffer, but at least long enough for him to enjoy another glass of champagne.

He took his time, leisurely sipping his cocktail. The thought of her in there, tied up, naked, and dripping wet for him had him rock-hard again. Gulping down the last of his drink, he decided enough was enough. Stripping off his underwear, he gradually made his way back to the bedroom.

Vivian’s entire body was flushed pink with arousal and her chest was heaving when she saw Five come back. Her breathing became down right ragged when she saw he was completely naked now.

“Have you learned your lesson, now?” he mocked.

“Yes, I swear.”

“Tell Daddy what you want.”

“I want you to fuck me hard. Please,” she whimpered pathetically.

Five smiled with satisfaction and joined her on the bed, wanting nothing more than to fulfill her request. He laid his body over hers, holding himself over her on his forearms as he kissed her neck and shoulders. Viv had already spread her legs underneath him and was thrusting her hips up to meet him as she inhaled loudly from his kisses.

He didn’t untie her, but he did start fucking her. Thrusting himself inside of her in one rough motion, he fisted his hand in her hair as she moaned from the long-awaited sensation.

“Oh god, Five!” she cried out.

As he increased his intensity and forcefulness, he emitted a low, growling noise and spoke low next to her ear.

“Don’t ever make me wait that long to fuck you again, do you understand?”

“Yes…oh fuck…yes, Daddy.”

“That’s my good girl,” he purred before slamming into her with all the force he could manage.

Viv’s head was thrown back and she pulled against the belt around her wrists, intense cries rolling out of her.

Five gave a low, rough grunt with each thrust into her. Finally having enough, he reached up and quickly undid the knot in the belt as only he knew how. With her hands free, Viv began clutching and scraping at Five’s back and shoulders, fingers digging hard into his skin.

“I love you so much, angel,” Five groaned before kissing her hard on the mouth.

“I love you, too, Five…” she answered with a long, pleading sob as she came, her body shuddering and spasming beneath him.

With her legs wrapped tightly around his waist and her nails scratching lines down his back, Five let go with an animalistic growl, spilling inside of her with one final pump.

“Fuck, Vivie…” he panted, still holding himself over her as their bodies finished shaking.

“Uh-huh,” she answered back, unable to complete a full sentence.

After pulling out and rolling onto his side, Five looked at his wife lying next to him, his head propped up with one hand. Her hair was a mess and her skin was still flushed. She continued to try and catch her breath as she looked over at him and smiled. Then she laughed.

“I think you definitely made up for earlier with that one,” she teased.

“How about we don’t talk about that ever again,” he said, one eyebrow raised.

Viv smirked and shrugged. “We’ll see. I like to have a little leverage over you once in a while. Something I can use for blackmail if I need it.”

Five narrowed his eyes. “You’re playing a dangerous game here, darling.”

She reached over and lightly ran the back of her finger down his jaw. “Baby, don’t you know by now? I invented the game. You’re just the unwitting participant.”

Then she kissed him, letting him grab her tightly and pull her in close to him, smacking her ass in the process. Even though Five was pretty sure he wasn’t going to die from lack of sex anymore, he didn’t really want to take that chance. And he was determined to make it a long night for both of them.

#five hargreeves x oc #number five x oc #number five smut #five hargreeves smut #number five fanfic #number five imagine #smut #daddy k!nk #badkittywrites

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starberry-cupcake · 5 months ago

Text

oooohhhh boyyyyyyyy Stuff Happened you folks, this might be obnoxious because there was a lot of exposition, let's hope I can keep it decent. As always, sending you all positive vibes in these trying times ♥

previously, in harrowcita del 9:

this happened

CHAPTER 50

30 minutes for emperor destruction, prepare the champagne

gideon is being taken by yandere twin to meet doctor reverend emperor john

she isn't very into that idea, but doesn't have much of a choice

doctor reverend emperor john is having a very important conversation with someone in the room, so gideon and yandere twin hide to listen in

and the conversation is with non other than not!dulcinea

not!dulcinea is being possessed

by commander wake

I ASKED FOR THIS IN THE PREVIOUS ONE

why did you need harrow, then, you dramatic asshat?

so, basically, commander wake's name is actually a couple quotes and lyrics to eminem's song from 8 mile

her name isn't amanda, it's just awake, etc.

I'd take amanda over eminem but ok

they said they are words that date back thousands of years, so we're in the future

I considered this, but not due to book reasons, just because one time I was talking to @lady-harrowhark about one time a barbie of mine was stolen when I was a kid and it somehow related to tlt, this was A Long Time Ago but I thought "what, are the books in the future?"

I have no idea if my hollywood hair barbie had anything to do with the books directly or if it was just some fandom thing @lady-harrowhark knows and I don't, but that planted the idea in my head

if it's a spoiler, don't tell me

but I didn't pick up any clues from the book until eminem

emperor's last name is gaius, which I knew from an untagged non context dashboard post

doctor reverend emperor john gaius wants to know what commander wake was doing in the ninth, because she landed there on purpose

and also is impressed that she's been a revenant for nearly 20 years and doesn't know how she got there

I think it's the sword

so, in come augustine and mercygirl

because now we're having a party

dr reverend emperor john says "Am I in trouble?" because he's the most punchable asshole in the known universe

and introduces commander wake with an evanescence quote rather than an eminem quote

yes, ok, I much prefer that, thank you

thank you, Fallen by Evanescence (2003) you changed my life

so, turns out that commander wake was in cahoots with these two lyctors

but things turned south and gideon the first was sent to kill her

she went to the ninth to break into the tomb

it always comes down to the tomb

ice cube barbie is very popular

so, I was right when I said that gideon wasn't conceived Traditionally

the eggs were my clue on that bit, the eggs on the notes

they were supposed to 1) use dr reverend emperor john's genes to 2) create a baby with his blood to 3) break the blood ward to 4) open the tomb

CONVOLUTED LYCTOR PLANS

but the eggs didn't work, so commander wake decided to birth gideon herself

when I said gideon was a demigod and used hercules memes and when I compared her to superman or whatever

I was more correct than I thought

commander wake called gideon "bomb"

this song could go into the gideon playlist @lady-harrowhark and I were talking about

because we didn't have enough lyctors at this party, in comes gideon the first

from battling the beast, which is what everyone was supposed to be doing, btw, just putting that out there

gideon the first will receive a lot of very clever, funny and amazing nicknames by gideon that I can't even remotely compete with

I vow to you and your prowess for nicknames, queen

gideon the first comes in, removes gideon's glasses from harrow's body, and slides them on his face

commander wake me up before you go go looks at him with heart eyes

and he shoots her

gideon, things were so much easier when you didn't have a family, girl

this is too stressful

everyone is surprised that gideon the first fought the beast, the beast ran and gideon the first is alive

I am NOT SURPRISED because HE WAS FIGHTING ALONGSIDE MATI NONIUS

and ortus, and protozoa, and martita

BUT, MOST IMPORTANTLY, MATI NONIUS

well done team harrow!!!

so, basically, gideon the first didn't say anything about the whole commander wake situation because he thought gideon was his

which accounts for my doubts the other recap on how I thought gideon wasn't Conceived Traditionally but there were doubts from gideon the first's side

gideon prime, gideon zero, gideon senior (all gideon jokes, not mine) says he was with her for about two years

so augustine starts explaining how they got dr reverend emperor john's genetic material through god apate major

WHY AM I NOT SURPRISED

IT'S ALWAYS THE ORGIES, ISN'T IT?

man, I'd rather not know the details, thank you

gideon the first also doesn't want to know the details

the emperor's bolthole wasn't as inexorable as it was advertised to be, turns out

it's basically a revolving door

ANYWAY

the emperor goes "so you killed her and the baby, right?"

IN COMES GIDEON, INTRODUCING HERSELF

"I'm not fucking dead"

and the emperor goes "hi, not fucking dead, I'm dad"

CHAPTER 51

gideon starts remembering childhood things like suffering and fighting with harrow and telling harrow that maybe she is the daughter of someone important and they don't know it

"You remember how the fuck-off great aunts always used to say, suffer and learn? If they were right, Nonagesimus, how much more can we take until you and me achieve omniscience?"

man, this is rough

so, the thing about the eyes

gideon apparently has AL's eyes

whose name isn't only Annabel Lee

it's also Alecto

the alecto everyone keeps mentioning in the fandom

so, this explains why seeing gideon's eyes was like seeing a ghost to these lyctors

also why ice cube barbie had gideon's eyes

THERE ARE A LOT OF THREADS GOING ON IN THIS BOARD

GIDEON IS CONNECTED TO A LOT OF PEOPLE

NONE OF THEM GOOD

the lyctors bring back what teacher said in canaan au, about them asking dr reverend emperor john to kill AL aka Annabel Lee aka Alecto aka ice cube barbie

apparently all of them (except for gideon the first) hated her and were low key scared of her and high key scared of what might happen with her around

they think the beasts are coming partly because of her

and whatever dr reverend emperor john did to resurrect her

the emperor says he didn't kill her, he "switched her off"

not successfully, because she's been sort of roaming around

mercygirl and augustine say that everything about this is very sus because what if he didn't kill AL??? and what is going on with the origin of his power???

dr reverend emperor john goes "you both do tend to go overboard on the foreplay"

mercygirl and augustine figured out that harrow's true cavalier had AL's eyes

but it was impossible for a baby to be born with AL's genes

however, it was very probable that a baby had been born in the ninth with the emperor's genes

because they had been planning on that to happen

albeit in a different way, without the human intervention

so, if gideon has AL's eyes but the emperor's genes

it means AL's eyes aren't hers and the emperor's aren't his

the emperor's weird eyes are AL's and gideon's eyes are the emperor's

because.......

he achieved lyctorhood without having to slurp his cavalier aka AL

I'm very interested in this potential situation if we get gideon alive again

but everyone else is pissed off because they had to slurp their cavaliers unnecessarily

yandere twin also decides to join the chat after this

and, apparently, anastasia had figured it out too

the ninth necro who everyone said was the one who couldn't become a lyctor

the one with a room unused

until harrow

the emperor's version of events is that things went off the rails in the process and he had to kill them both

augustine tells dr reverend emperor john to just stop already with his plan of destroying everything

and the emperor says that the man before his resurrection would have hated him to say that

mercygirl then goes "I'll forgive you if you tell me you didn't mean to kill my cav"

and the emperor goes "yes, I'll do whatever"

so he hugs mercygirl

and mercygirl

FUCKING DECIMATES HIM

SHE WRECKS HIM

SHE MELTS HIM INTO NOTHINGNESS

gideon says she's an orphan again while I'm giving everyone a party hat and a piece of celebratory cake

I'M SORRY THIS WAS LONG but we're reaching the end of this book!!! See you next time!!!

#luly reacts to tlt #tlt spoilers #harrow the ninth #harrow the ninth spoilers #long post #gif cw

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