#(then again the two arent mutually exclusive)

[lemonstrashcan]

[VENT POST! plesse don't read if you don't like transphobia/ general queer phobia, toxic parenting, bad mental health I guess? stay safe :) ]

Today my friend TJ came over to hang out with me and my brother for the first time after coming out as agender. Towards the end of their stay, the conversation shifted towards how they were trans. TJ got out fine, however my parents pulled me aside and told me about how "they wanted to protect my brothers childhood innocence" (for context, hes 12 and im 16) and how if I got caught talking about it again, I'd be in trouble. This made me feel very rejected and alone. Not only do my parents refuse to acknowledge my identity as genderfluid ever since I came out two years ago (but i've caught my mom using it as a way to talk shit about me,) but it feels like I'm not allowed to have any support from my brother either (who, by the way, already has a trans friend who my parents know about and frequently judge.) It feels like a shitty excuse to shut me down and force me to be who they want. It makes me feel like I'm not allowed to truly be happy and be myself. I feel unloved. Especially since I thought my mother was changing her mind and becoming more supportive. The whole episode just reminded me of how isolated I feel from not only my family, but my other trans friends who all (from what I can tell) have supportive families who love them. There's no one for me to turn to. I feel alone. I have to fight this battle alone.

The worst part is that I KNOW in order to help heal our bond I have to talk about it as some point. But I'm scared. I'm scared they'll find a way to hurt me again. It feels like I'm forced to run in circles. It also makes it harder for me to accept myself because the two people who said they support me.. don't. I feel helpless.

[ravensanddreams]

god can everyone just... fucking chill out about avengers??? like obviously i love this franchise and i’m glad it has such a large following but like?? it’s fiction there’s no need to get so god damn worked up about sacrifices certain heroes made or not and there’s definitely no need to take fucking sides like some of y’all whores really don’t understand shit about the mcu and it shows :/

[thefiresontheheight]

Your entire answer to the ask about tradwives is just "white people arent allowed to have traditions".

No our traditions are not "rooted in racism", yes racists existed in the past and still today but pretending that means all traditions are somehow terrible is the dumbest thing I have ever heard. It's clear that you yourself have racist beliefs and are protecting them onto all white people especially those who you disagree with.

All tradwives are different and what traditions they follow will depend on their culture.

White people are not a monolith and don't deserve to be stripped of any cultural or traditional identity to make you feel better about yourself and your biases.

Also not all tradwives are white but I understand that acknowledging that would challenge your tiny close minded world veiw.

Also just because your family was racist (given your takes on traditional women I highly doubt that's true ) doesn't mean all traditional people are.

Okay, first things first I’m white so the wrong person to answer this.

But second, when did I say white people aren’t allowed to have traditions? There are Polish traditions, Irish traditions, Italian traditions and more I enjoy to this day. But those are specific cultures, and not “white culture.”

Because “white culture” is a mythic creation that did not exist and is constructed solely to prop up a version of the past that was not real. It’s a syncretic amalgamation of European cultures, some historical some imagined.

And to some degree we all choose what parts of the past to propagate, imitate, and discard. But we are doing that based on some pre-existing internal metric.

I fear I am doing a bad job of explaining this. Let me elaborate with an example. I am white. Two of my grandparents were the children of Irish immigrants. My adoptive grandmother is black. My bio grandmother who I never knew was French. And my given surname I inherited is first recorded in the Domesday book, and traveled from England to America pre-revolutionary war.

What tradition should I emulate? My Irish ancestors? The grandmother who gave me my middle name and is descended from humans owned by the other side of my family? The antebellum south? The Revolutionary war? The Norman invasion of England? Alsace-Lorraine?

The answer you give could be any of them and that’s the point. It’s arbitrary. It’s syncretic. And it’s going to be historically wrong in some way. All those different origins were quite disparate. And mushing them all together under a “white culture,” something I share with Vikings, and Ancient Rome, the French Revolution, the Antebellum South, Irish Refugees, is ahistorical.

So again, what tradition? Because many of them are mutually exclusive and contradictory.

In other words I am not saying that white people deserve to be stripped of cultural identities. I am saying there is no white culture.

[veronicathegoddess]

you are anti-misogyny while calling yourself a slut and promoting the idea that sexual violence in men is sexy??? make in make sense.

hi and welcome back to another episode of me educating tumblr. let's break this down shall we:

1. you are anti misogyny - yes, i am. misogyny is defined by the merriam-webster dictionary as "hatred of, aversion to, or prejudice against women." so yes as a proud intersectional feminist, i am anti misogyny.

2. calling yourself a slut - what i do when i call myself a slut or a whore or any sort of term that was previously used to describe "promiscuous women" is something we call reclaiming a label. the same i call myself queer when it was previously a slur against members of the LGBTQ+ community. there is nothing anti-feminist or misogynistic about referring to myself as a slut and allowing a partner to call me such terms with my consent.

3. promoting the idea that sexual violence in men is sexy - as a victim of sexual assault by multiple of my previous partners, i have been on the receiving end of sexual violence enough to know that non-consensual sexual violence is not sexy and very very much illegal. however since i process some of my sexual trauma through kinks, i allow for my partners to be within my limits and boundaries and with my consent to be "violent" towards me sexually.

4. now this may not be the case for everyone. some people just like what they like. some people just want to be manhandled or degraded by someone they trust enough to do so and again, it is consensual, it is sexy and there is nothing inherently anti-feminist or misogynistic about it. while i use these things as ways of reclaiming labels or processing my trauma, it just turns me on as it does for multiple other persons within the kink community. there are multiple psychological reasons why people have kinks and i'll add some links so everyone can do some reading on why we may like what we like.

5. the notion that i can't call myself a slut or like consensual sexual aggression and be anti-misogyny needs to end. feminism, kink, and the sexual empowerment of women through sexual submission aren't mutually exclusive. i can be a submissive who wants my partner to slap me around in the bedroom and call me their little slut and still fight for equality for women. the two can and do coexist. there are women in kink who do believe in traditional gender roles, female inferiority and support the patriarchy but i am not one of those women. neither my submission nor my sexual interests make me inferior to anyone, it does not make me misogynistic, it doesn't make me a gender traitor or anti-feminist and we need to stop pushing the narrative that it does and that feminism cannot coexist in submission. i'll also add some more links you guys to read.

6. i know this is a long response but i hope that the person who sent this and anyone who sees this, takes the time to read and understand that submission doesn't make anyone a bad person, someone wanting to be degraded by their partner doesn't make them a bad feminist, and that there is nothing misogynistic about submission unless that's one of your kinks. to the anon who sent this, hopefully this clears up your misunderstanding and i hope you've really learnt something today.

7. these are some links for people to do some reading on the psychology behind kinks and the relationship between feminism and submission (note: none of the views expressed in these are mine, i just think that they are interesting and educational since they aren't only formal research but editorials etc.):

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/standard-deviations/201805/growing-kinky-research-shows-how-kink-identity-is-formed

https://www.lehmiller.com/blog/2020/7/27/the-psychological-origins-of-bdsm-8-things-that-draw-people-to-kink

https://theswaddle.com/what-is-kink-the-psychology-behind-sexual-behavior

https://thelinknewspaper.ca/article/feminism-and-sexual-submission-arent-mutually-exclusive

https://www.huffingtonpost.ca/bellesa/bdsm-submissive-feminist-woman_a_23395685/

https://feminisminindia.com/2020/12/02/kinky-promise-sexual-submission-make-me-a-bad-feminist/

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/03/12/style/submissive-sex-me-too.html

[magicstormfrostfire]

This is completely random, but just seeing people talk about Steven Universe made me think about it overall and how I feel in comparison to Adventure Time. I don't dislike SU; its objectively good and I give it a 7/10. but I don't particularly like it's writing for a good chunk of it, and vastly prefer Adventure Time's storytelling (not that there is this-or-that ultimatum between them, but its sort of like a Mario vs Sonic, Marvel vs DC kind of thing fandom wise since a lot of folks shifted their interest to SU over time.)

I love the groundbreaking Steven Universe has done. I love the LGBT+ representation, and the discussion of niche topics. But a lot of cohesive storytelling and characterization was sacrificed for 'making a point' or 'being a metaphor' when the two concepts arent mutually exclusive. SU hit its mark exceptionally well sometimes, but toward the end the executions got very sloppy (and sometimes patronizing) when trying to 'say something'.

Adventure Time, however, does it very well, integrating things organically, each piece of the series building upon the established foundation to whatever message it wants to convey, and the HBO mini-series only amplifies that.

I know the wedding plotline for Ruby and Sapphire was the ultimatum for SU. And I hate that it was because....Unpopular Opinion time....I didn't even really enjoy the wedding?

Don't get me wrong, it was cute, and I love Ruby and Sapphire as a couple but it felt so shoehorned to me. Especially since Fusion was always this ethereal, ultimate connection of love and basic Earth Marriage seemed like such a weird step backwards in comparison.

Meanwhile in Obsidian, Marceline singing her song to Bubblegum while they were trapped in a volcano had so much love and intimacy, with so much of that meticulous groundwork for their current relationship's setup backing it up that it nearly made me cry.

-I understand that SU taking a leap of faith was priority and taking a stand for representation, and ultimately I respect and approve of their choice.

- I understand the way some things went were often because of compromise and unwanted input from the network. (Not all their writing choices, but I guess mostly just how the ending of the main series and Future went)

- and I understand that Adventure Time downplayed their gay relationship drastically because of CN (mainly referring to them denying Marcy/Bubblegum confirmation by a staff member way back) and were only able to fully flesh Bubbeline out toward the end and afterwards (with Obsidian) while SU did the exact opposite.

Im less critical of the way things went toward the ending of the series because I know why they went as awkward as they did, but it still gutted a lot of what the show could've been.

I commend them for doing what they did despite the imperfections but not-great storytelling just really makes or breaks a series for me, personally.

I've watched both series in full recently over quarantine and I guess my vast preference for AT over SU is very objective; AT's story was better to me, more fleshed out in both the world and characters, and made me feel more things. Obsidian and Together Again still gives me goosbumps everytime I watch it, where SU:Future falls flat for me toward the end in an awkward way. I understand the paths taken were different in nature, and each series has its flaws, but ultimately I think AT ended up with a better told story in the long run and executing its topics well.

I appreciate what SU has done and the path its made for cartoons will never be forgotten.

but AT was a trailblazer in a different way for stories, emotions, concepts, and relationships, some of it even making the way for SU later on, and it will always just be my favorite.

[mcfuckity]

i always find it funny those people that be like "antis/critical people always find something new to complain about" as if...human beings are only meant to use their critical thinking skills for one thing and one thing ever in their lifetimes.

then again, that explains a lot about their mindsets in general🙄. but yeah, so long as people keep making shit with flaws, imma keep bitching about it. and because people will forever be flawed and thus make shit that is flawed, that means imma just stay at it lmao. just like i can find shit that makes me genuinely happy, i can also find shit that aggravates the shit out of me, like the two arent mutually exclusive.

(this isnt about anything specific, i guess it goes for any fandom cuz i notice people in every fandom do it🤷🏽‍♀️. a person can be critical of something they really like, and like the idea that you can only be critical of one thing just doesnt make any sense)

The worst thing that has happened to fandoms is considering every non-positive critique as “hate”. I refuse to walk on eggshells for my personal criticism because sometimes shit just sucks. I wouldn’t watch something that I genuinely hated, I can’t even hate-watch anything because I would generally and literally find it as a waste of my time. With that being said, I am well aware of people who mix their hate and criticisms or use their hate AS criticism but I think the toxic positivity is just as bad.

The thought that a certain media is 100% perfect and anyone with anything different to say is a hater or anti is so fucking annoying. People should accept their own bare minimum and let other’s feel different.

I like tons of shows that I have certain criticisms on. My criticism is literally my opinion on how something could be better. I wouldn’t suggest better ideas or spend time posting content if I hated something. I used to be scared of being considered a hater but after being in fandoms for so long, idgaf. No matter what, people are always gonna find a problem with criticism of their favorite media but as long as you know the shit is comstructive and in good faith, fuck it. “Complain” all tf you want🤷🏾‍♀️

[chikkou]

wasn't brad based off austin's father? wasn't his relationship with buddy based off austin's relationship with his father? idk thinking about that makes the criticism some ppl give him for "making brad too sympathetic" in joyful seem a little... shortsighted maybe? idk if thats the right word

well i dont think most casual players would know that tbh, he confirmed it in an interview and again on his twitter after his father sadly passed. most people who played it probably wouldnt be invested enough to check those places. even if they did though, theres nothing wrong with criticizing the character insofar as their role in the narrative is concerned; a person can empathize with who and what brad represents while also having issues with how his character is handled. the two things arent mutually exclusive

[cherrivixx]

could also be namixi now that i think about it. necromancy for a girl you've met like once or twice but you're willing to steal the memories of people around you to get her back (after being asked like once or twice by her best friend) is like a bit fruity. i kinda wanna say the plotline of the fic on here actually but i shouldddd study. no i will actually if you care about vaguely character-study-thing set in an AU of kh or just wanna know what the fuck im talking about do click the read more i think its a fun idea

okay so its an AU of KH set in like. mostly the real world. theres witches and vampires and fairies (?? i need to figure out what theyre called) and werewolves but MOST of those arent important to the plot. its mostly the witch stuff. its about 2002 give or take and set in america™ but ive never been and i also wasnt alive in 2002 so take that as you will. i wanna achieve the vibes of old ffnet fics from that time but with a bit more...focus ??? and more modern understandings of the characters

twilight town is where its set, which is kinda a hub for a lot of the weird supernatural shit, but also really normal. kinda like salem in the monster high ghouls rule movie -- like, everyone knows a vampire or werewolf or whatever but nobody says anything, really. oh that might be a metaphor. whatever moving on. the main character is actually kairi !! its all from her perspective. shes 16 here. her sister is namine, who does correspondence schooling after an "incident" thats not really expanded upon, mostly just talked around -- theres a lot of talking around and not directly addressing stuff actually -- with her witch powers. she also does magic tutoring with aqua on some evenings, but aqua is a fairy (again idk what to call them. the supernatural shit all comes from the sims 3 if youre familiar), and witches and fairies are similar, but witches are distinguished by their use of "dark" magic as opposed to "light". aqua doesnt believe one can turn from a witch into a fairy, but also seems to try to be doing that to namine -- shes doing her best to try and guide her, but isnt yet able to understand that the path of the pure light (coughs) isnt always sustainable or achievable for everyone. shes doing what she thinks is right though. also aqua, terra, and ven all live together with eraqus who isnt dead (?) but there was also an unspeakable incident a few years ago with terra and eraqus and dark magic. terra and ven also know namine, even if she doesnt really leave the house because of the incident (alluding to how she was kinda a ghost girl in the mansion in kh2 prologue)

also another bit of backstory is that xion and axel died a year beforehand (in the last week of summer vacation) in a car accident after a terrible series of arguments with roxas. xions body was um. burned beyond recognition (this is IMPORTANT for later events i promise im not making a haha nobody remembers xion joke. i think the forgetting of xion is very very tragic as im afraid of being forgotten lol haha anyways) but either way they both died and roxas is trying to move on but its. difficult. also sora and roxas are twins, and ven and vanitas are their cousins, but V&V dont turn up all that much. i find sometimes people think, when writing AUs, that ventus is the one who wants to repair the relationship between the two but he really does not. he kinda wants to cut vanitas off and is actually kinda past arguing with him (in KH3, Vanitas says right before fading away, "Ventus, I DID decide who I am. You see?" Ven replies, "And what you are is darkness?" Vanitas agrees, saying "What I am is darkness." theres a beat, and then Ven kinda resigns saying. "...okay.") its VANITAS who wants to join with him. but then again, vanitas also kinda pulls apart the relationship too. its more complex that "ven is good so he wants to fix their relationship and vanitas is bad so he wants to destroy it." they want different things, things that are mutually exclusive !! anyways.

also kairi, again, our main POV character, is experiencing the distancing between her and riku and sora from growing up, as well as the expectations placed upon her (not specifically as a princess of heart, but similar, and also i think i tend to write about girls with a lot of expectations on their shoulders ???). shes afraid of this change, and wants to cling to what used to be, and so shes especially distanced herself from riku. riku wants things to be different, finding twilight town / destiny islands (which is very close, and where a lot of the characters live, but you have to take a train (the train to the beach) there) to be too small for him, wanting better things, so he both pushes and pulls at his relationship with sora and kairi, wanting to grow up faster, and not wanting to leave his friends behind, but also thinking hes outgrown them.

the start isnt much, just kairi, sora, selphie and tidus on the tram home from school, but theres a mirroring of the scene on the dock with kairi and sora, when selphie invites them to a bonfire on the beach for the first weekend of school, since itll get colder soon and this is their last chance as well as being a new beginning to the year. kairi says oh dw kidding, you call riku when we get home to invite him okay ? and then namine and all that magic is introduced too. a couple days later, kairi, roxas, riku, and sora are assigned a group project in woodshop, so they all go to kairis after school. this is when roxas meets namine for the first time in a while, finds out oh shit shes a witch, and they actually get on really well, so they start hanging out more in general.

the bonfire night has a lot of stuff to do with change and expectations, its not very fleshed out since it wasnt supposed to happen but selphie turned to me while i was like hm i need for them to chat about something and told me dw i got this and now i got like three side plots. anyways. because of this i have to write a bunch more scenes, most of which are dot points and nonsense currently, but the more important stuff is:

namine and roxas, become friends properly, and so they actually start a plan to bring xion and axel back to life with necromancy (as guided by a dark magic book that terra gave to namine, as he understands that darkness isnt always bad, but did caution her about it)

the way ive decided that necromancy works is that you need some sort of vessel, preferably the corpse of the person you wanna bring back. however, if using a different vessel in this case, a puppet thing for xion (since her body is a bit. well. worse for wear) its a bit more difficult. you need to inject memories into the vessel, and the more there is the easier it is the bring her back to life. memories are more accessible while sleeping (for science reasons, this is because we often encode memories into our long term memory when sleeping) and for kh reasons, well, you've seen chain of memories and melody of memory and kh2 and well. everything. anyways so namine decides the person that was fairly close to xion but not too close (like roxas, since hes helping with the plan) that is the easiest to steal memories from at night is naturally kairi, since she sleeps in the same house as her. also i forgot to mention -- namine mostly uses art materials as a focus for her magic, especially the more difficult stuff

cue a scene where kairi wakes up one night with namine standing over her, breaking a crayon and reciting a spell

so kairi starts to forget xion, and also because axel has been dead for a year, they need some memories of him too, so they steal those from kairi and roxas mostly

riku has also been roped into this plan, mostly because namine and roxas need someone else to dig up a grave with them, and he owes namine and xion, even if him and roxas dont really get on. they steal some memories from him as well

like i said theres a LOT of stuff happening with kairi in the foreground so this stuff is slower and more in the background, idk if this will still be a oneshot by the time im done

the day before halloween (since its american, i think i got my school timings right) riku, sora and kairi have a bit of an argument, mostly about riku growing up too fast, think like KH1 riku (its an AU i can mix different plot lines okay

HALLOWEEN NIGHT: the climax of all the supernatural bullshit

kairi notices namine isnt home, hasnt left a note, doesnt have a cell phone, which is worrying for a girl who has like 2 friends and mostly stays at home, so she phones sora, whos like huh yeah roxas is also not at home. weird. maybe theyre together ??? or maybe something bad has happened. shit

so they meet up and go like yeah theyve both been acting kinda weird recently. lets go look for them, so they go to the usual spot of hayner pence and olette, they go to the tower, they go to all the shops, they go to where aqua lives, they go a lot of places, its also a bit hard to check since theres so many trick or treaters around. sora calls riku (payphone, again, this is early 2000s or maybe earlier even idk it just makes sense to call on a payphone in this setting okay.) and he doesnt answer, but maybe hes just out, still weird though. EVENTUALLY, one of their friends is like uh yeah idk but they might have gone to the graveyard, saw them near there and it is like, halloween, so maybe thats why ???

i think that movie about the dogs. spooky buddies. might have influenced this. what the fuck. also bunks but thats a zombie movie. i dont watch a lot of movies i saw those both like ten years ago at the most recent

also ive been writing this post for like 40 minutes. WHAT.

anyways they go to the graveyard, its dark, they have to crawl over the fence and they go. hm. well idk if namine and roxas would have gotten over this fence by themselves since namine doesnt do sports or anything like kairi does...maybe theyre not here...?

so then they see namine and riku flicking watercolour paint onto axels dead body and roxas pouring a salt circle around a wooden puppet dressed in a costume from spirit halloween which is obviously like. what the fuck is happening here

kairi expresses, hey, what the fuck are you doing and namine is like im using watercolour since its natural -- oil paint wouldve been better, but im all out and acrylic isnt good for spells--- oh wait. yeah necromancy

after a bit more discussion of "what is happening and how did this happen ???" which explains all the weird shit theyve been doing in the background, kairi kinda argues with roxas, saying okay yeah i get what youre doing but you didnt have to use namine (think of DiZ and marluxia and larxene, probably the causes of the previous incident), what the fuck. i often think about that bit where kairi says to sora, "let me keep you safe" -- she does want to protect people, and is upset in KH2 when she cant remember sora at all, so i think those two bits fuelled this desire, to keep her sister (in this AU) safe, just as she keeps namines heart safe in KH2 & KH3, even if she wants to let namine be her own person.

kairi just wants things to go back to how they used to be, when she didnt have to worry about this and there wasnt any dangerous magic (again, think KH1 kairi here), but then roxas is like. yeah. same i also want things to go back to how they used to be, when my friends were yknow, alive

kairi concedes here, seeing how that change isnt necessarily bad, actually quite good; change is a part of life, but if youre unhappy it might be worth trying to get things back to how they used to be, but sometimes you need to go with the change and grow up, as you cant stay in the past forever

after a bit more stuff. axel and xion wake up yayyyyy. the spell mostly went as planned, but kairi cant quite remember xion still. namine says she'll do her best to fix the memories of those that she took and yayyyy maybe ill do more about like. the aftermath of coming back to life from xion & axels POV but either way this fic went from fun halloween idea ??? to character study about growing up and change and expectations about what people want you to be versus who you are. IVE BEEN WRITING FOR AN HOUR FUCK I HAVE TO STUDY

writing fic is so funny because i dont really consider stuff to be like. shippy unless i specifically tag it as such. but i have the mentality of cishet 90s shonen writers i think because i keep looking at interactions ive written and going oh thats a bit fruity i didnt mean to do that

[sorenserotonin]

what would you rather have peace or freedom? you think you want freedom but freedom is dying young and arriving in heaven to see the angry man you called a father lives down the street. peace is getting to settle down with the man you love and have a family. freedom is being reminded that your first solo hunt was the ghosts of two nuns that were in love with each other and got found out and killed themselves, and even now in your eternal resting place you arent sure if you let that vampire throw you on the rebar but you certainly made the choice to die. peace and freedom would have been nice. you could run a nice cozy bar with the man who loves you, who you love, because you made the choice to live and have a happy life. if the two are mutually exclusive, and you chose freedom, youre in heaven but youre driving until your brother - who is your kid in all the ways that matter - shows up after a life free from you, because youre so fucked up the only way he could have freedom was a life without you. you hope he had peace alongside his freedom, because it sure as hell isnt going to be peaceful when the whole family is back together again. your father lives down the street.

[bi-lesbian]

Hi! So this isn’t meant to be rude/hateful or anything and I’m super sorry if it is!! But I’m not really sure why bi lesbian as an identity really needs to exist? since bisexual/romantic is part lesbian/sapphic community already :( I just don’t see a need for another separate orientation

well first off, even if something doesnt "need" to exist doesnt mean that its bad for it to be a thing still, or that it doesnt feel important to a lot of people!

also even tho bi women can often be in lesbian spaces and be accepted, theres a lot of them that if they actually state their bi identity, then theyre outcasted or even insulted/attacked. im unsure how it is in real life lesbian spaces as im not out irl, but its a huge issue in online spaces.

and since many people dont acknowledge that a lot of lesbian and bi history is shared due to the term lesbian being historically for all wlw, people are constantly trying to take ""lesbian only"" terms away from bi women saying that they never belonged to them to begin with, thus continuing to erase more of their history.

and bi lesbian isnt really a "separate orientation," its specifically meant to be something that falls between the two labels, along the edges of them, falls under both, and etc kinda stuff. people who Can use the bi lesbian label can still only identify as either just bi or just lesbian, a lot people just like to use them together bc its feels More Specific to describe themselves, that is all. it states their love of women while saying For Sure that they have love for some other genders as well!

in the end the label is kinda to show that bi and lesbian arent mutual exclusive, and shouldnt be seen as such, and also to try to bring the bi and lesbian communities together again, as they have a lot of shared history and both shared the lesbian label for hundreds of years until political lesbians/radfems forced bi women out in the 70s. not everyone using bi lesbian is actively engaging in this, but the label is often a statement against the extreme separatism in the lesbian community (and generally the whole lgbt+ community) that is super prevalent in so many spaces (online at least). this especially means against all the radfem rhetoric that has seeped really heavily in the community, particularly in the lesbian sections since thats where radfems focus on a lot, that is harming just So much of the community.

[petitprincess1]

I was wondering about Alastor being asexual. I know he can date, but what about the sex part? I know people in different forms of media that he has sex with whoever they ship him with, but doesnt that go against the fact hes ace? I don't want to be rude and sorry if I came across like that, I'm just generally curious and I want to learn. (Also, if he just has sex with the people be feels emotionally close with, isn't that more demisexual than ace?) Again, sorry if I came off as rude

No, dude, you're completely fine. As long as you aren't just saying I'm wrong or people are "misrepresenting aces", then you're all good.

Now, asexuality really just means that people arent attracted to others in a sexual way. So, if they see someone scantily dressed, they wouldn't be as drawn to them as other people might be. They're more for a romantic attraction.

However, this doesn't mean that aces can't have sex. There are asexuals that are sex repulsed, but those two aren't mutually exclusive. Most aces will have sex with their partners or have dirty thoughts or even masturbate. The point of being ace is that you're just not attracted to people sexually, just like how aros aren't attracted to people romantically.

There are demiaces though, but I'm not well known in that, so I can't give an accurate description.

I hope that helped a little bit.

[whataplottwistyouwere]

My answer to @ottogatto

We have. Every right. To dislike a character. And like another. Especially if they are very different. No matter if it bothers you.

Okay first of all, of course I have no right to tell you what you should say or what you should think.

What I meant was you say Snape is a grey character and you said he bullied, yes. But you forgave him. And yet you can’t forgive James Potter. Who bullied Snape,yes. But who became an amazing person. He was whiter than Snape.

Theres one thing I still can’t understand. HOW CAN YOU JUSTIFY SNAPES BULLYING AND NOT JAMES’S. Of course you can hate James, but you can’t hate him for his bullying; because yourself, is supporting a bully. Which means you have unreasonable hatred AGANIST James.

And of course you can have it. It’s your life and you can do whatever you want. But you have to UNDERSTAND THAT HE WAS A BULLY TOO.

And as much as you have the right to hate James I have the right to hate Snape. And I know you are aware of it.

I understand people liking Snape, but there’s two things I can’t stand. People hating James and people shipping Snily🤮🤮🤮. Im fully aware that everyone can have their opinions. But when i posted a funny post about “Albus S**erus”’s name IN MY OWN BLOG people attacked me.

I didn’t ever blame James for protecting his friends -- I literally said that was “Good” or “Great”. I literally said that the fact he joined the Order was good. I didn’t forget it. I pointed out his flaws just like you exclusively did on Snape’s part.

Yes, but no one wants to read James’s good traits and when they do; they say “good” “great”. The thing you say “good” and “great” to is him risking his own life for the wizarding world. I think he deserves more than “good”

And everyone is so focused on what James did as a 15 year old, a teenager; no one wants to see him as an adult. I’m so sad for James. Can you imagine it? You Do your best for your family and for the wizarding world and get hated because you bUlLiEd a death eater. I’m sure you all went to Highschool. Is every snape’s Fans are saints? No. Did you do nothing bad?!

Snape did everything I talked about as an adult. But Snape Fans ARENT over what a 15 year old boy did! So I’ll discuss that for hours.

There is no evidence that Snape killed people, you made it up (unless you count how he led Lily and James to their deaths, despite his efforts to prevent this). In fact, his position as a spy clearly states that he wasn’t on the battlefield slaughtering people. On the contrary, Voldemort sent him to try and have him as a spy teacher, which means that Snape couldn’t be known to kill people in the meantime. We have further evidence: Bellatrix does blame Snape for “always slithering out of action” as a spy, which point out that as a double-agent (and later as Dumbledore’s spy), he tried not to kill people. On the other hand I could say that James could have killed people. Why not? If McGonagall says “we fight to kill” and if James hate those Death Eaters so much he could have killed the people of the other side.

You said Snape probably didn’t kill anyone because he was a spy. You are wrong. Snape became a spy after Lily died. So in the First Wizarding War, he wasn’t a spy. He was a death eater on the field. Also Bellatrix Blamed Snape on HBP, which is the Second Wizarding War. I never said snape killed people in the 2.WW. I said in the the First wizarding war.

James was an auror. Of course he killed people. He killed Death Eaters. ITS NOT A BAD THING LMAOOOOOO. Every auror killed Death Eaters. Dumbledore,McGonagall,Sirius,Remus, and literally everyone who fought for the right side

The level of Fred and George’s hexing -- even though I don’t like how they burned a hold through Ron’s tongue, imprisoned Montague in a limbo, and killed an animal for fun -- doesn’t reach at all the level of bullying James and the Marauders perpetrated. In fact, Harry thinks, in OotP, that even Fred and George wouldn’t do what they did.

Ohh, you don’t like Fred and George too. To be honest , I’m just repeating myself at this point. If you don’t like Fred and george, how can I expect you to like James.

WE CALL IT PRANKS. OF COURSE I DONT SUPPORT ALL OF FRED&GEORGES ACTIONS NOR MARAUDERS’s ACTIONS. But you hate them for their pranks (yeah, I’ll say pranks because what they did to Snape was mutual. “Snape Never missed a time to hex James” THIS IS CANON. Yes, he might not have tried to curse James after that exam. BUT IT DOESNT MEAN HE NEVER DID!!! BUT YES BLAME AN AMAZING MAN WHO FOUGHT FOR THE RIGHT SIDE, FOR ONE FRICKIN MEMORY. This whole story is one sided because we only saw James bully not Snape)

He used Dark Magic as self-defense in SWM -- the Marauders chocked him, tormented him, sent him to his death, sexually assaulted him. Dark Magic could have been punished by the professors. Doesn’t excuse the Marauders for bullying. Whether. Or not. They use Dark Magic. What’s the point of repeating myself though if you don’t want to understand my points in my previous answer?

Okay don’t trying to be rude, but aren’t you a little bit dramatic here. “Chocked him, tormented him,.....” LMAOOO. Im sorry but you cant prove that they s*xualy assualted him because it was never said that they removed his underwear or not. Also dark magic SHOULDNT be considered. YES YOU HAVE TO STICK UP FOR YOURSELF BUT DARK MAGIC ISNT THE ANSWER. And if you think, using dark magic is acceptable; I don’t think I can change your mind

Also in the Werewolf Incident, it’s %100 Sirius’s fault. I will not defend him. But I’m sure he didn’t want him to die. But James risked his life for Snape. Also you said “why Snape would ask forgiveness for his bully [to Voldemort]” Because when you are a nice person, you don’t care whether you like this person or not. You don’t want anyone to die. Even if that’s your biggest enemy. Don’t I have people who I hate? yes. But I would never want their death. And so didn’t James, so he saved Snape’s life’s . But sure , ignore this too.

Snape said that what Mulciber/Avery/other Slytherins did to Mary (and we don’t know what that was) is a joke -- he uses the same excuse as the Marauders in front of Lily, who bites the bait. This allows him to point out to Lily that they are no different. I do wish not to repeat myself about how Hermione mutilated someone’s face and gets out with it, though it could have been Dark Magic as well, seeing how it can’t get off and how serious this is (doesn’t mean I hate her -- I actually like Hermione).

I don’t love Hermione, and I don’t know if it’s dark magic or not; so I don’t think I can argue about that. But however, I want to point something out. Snape said “it was a joke” to Dark Magic while Marauders used prank spells

See the difference ?

Okay so, you can’t stand James bullying and I can’t stand Snape bullying. But they were teenagers, weren’t they? Okay. I’ll hypothetically forgive Snape for what he did as a teenager and you’ll hypothetically forgive James for what he did as a teenager

All of the reasons you hate James is from his teenager hood (?). You are hating a 15 year old CHILD. Okay. Let’s skip to the adult part. Who was a death eater as an adult and who was a member of the OOTP as an adult. Every Snape fan loves Lily. And lily loves James. Do you think James gave Lily drugs and made her fall in love LMAOOOOO. In the end of the day LILY CHOOSE JAMES. Lily is no one’s property and she doesn’t belong with Snape. She’s her own person and she choose James. If James is that horrible person you keep talking about how do Lily love him? How do McGonagall and all of the teachers love him. I was trying to stay calm when I wrote 728281 essays. But I keep repeating the same thing because no one reads them and they just reply from their deliusuonal world. I was on my phone all day, and I did nothing else. Of course, no one is forcing me and I love debating. But my essays don’t change anything at all!! I feel like I wrote them for nothing and I keep repeating it.

It isn’t confirmed that if Lily’s son hadn’t been threatened then Snape wouldn’t have changed sides. You made it up. Because guess what? I can still say he would have changed sides because he was growing disgusted by Voldemort’s actions, or because he couldn’t bear knowing that Lily was undergoing too much danger. And what if he wouldn’t have changed sides? Doesn’t matter, because he did it in the end, which doesn’t make it less brave. There are a bunch of heroes who wouldn’t have lifted a finger for the right cause hadn’t their loved ones been threatened (Katniss, Eren, etc) and yet does it make them less heroic? No because you don’t only judge someone by their initial motive -- but by their actions. Snape was the reason many were saved -- including Harry, Hermione and Neville, mind you. Which would make me repeat again my earlier poin

Yes it is confirmed. This question was asked to JKR in 2007(I’m sorry I’m not sure about the year) JKR wasn’t a bad person back then, and the books/movies were JUST released. Someone asked “would snape change sides if Lily wasn’t in danger” and she answered “no. he probably wouldn’t, I don’t think so” which is another proof that, snape changed sides because of his own selfish reasons.

And you are wrong about the hero thing. If lily wasn’t in danger, snape would contiune being a death eater and kill innocent people. Of course Katniss wouldn’t volunteer if her loved ones weren’t in danger. But even if Katniss didn’t volunteer. She was a nice person. Even before she volunteered she was a hero who tried to help people. The problem I have is if lily wasn’t in danger snape would kill innocent people. If Prim wasn’t in danger would Katniss kill innocent people? no. She would’ve continued living. That’s the difference.

Also as I said before I have an amazing discussion why Snape isn’t brave. Please read that because I’m so tired of repeating myself. My problem isn’t with Snape. My problem is him being overrated and him being “the bravest man” but he actually isn’t

I’ve already proven to you that bullying is always one-sided (especially 4-on-1 bullying) and that Snape “didn’t bully James back” but was actually trying to mind his own business -- that what Sirius says is what bullies typically say to blame the victim and thus sees his words put into question.

As many Snape Fans you are making excuses and the excuse here is “Sirius’s POV is biased”.

But what if it’s not. You can’t hate someone because of the possibility of Sirius having a biased POV. It’s only a possibility.

And you know what else is a possibility. Snape’s POV might be biased too. What if he’s overreacting. It’s his own memory. We cant be sure it’s %100 true.

Yet I act and answer like it’s %100 true because we have no proof that says otherwise. Same with Sirius, you have to act like it’s canon.

Also if James didn’t change why would Lily marry him. You can’t say Lily’s mind was biased, can you? LMAOOO

Indeed he bullied Neville and Harry. Wow. Big news of the Earth. But do rest assured that Snape, if given the choice, wouldn’t have stayed a teacher. He was a spy, not a teacher. He was an adult, and what do the other adults in HP? Molly tells her children to respectfully call him “Professor Snape”, Lupin says that Snape was right in some points, McGonagall stays friends with him, the other professors seem to quite like him, Dumbledore let him be harsh/bullying. Well I mean, when McGonagall uses death threats as punishment and shames Neville, when Trelawney shoves a book in Neville’s belly in rage, when Flitwick shrieks at his students and throws Trevor at the other side of the classroom -- because if you hadn’t read it, Neville was said not to be coddled in other courses as well -- when at least half of the teachers in Hogwarts should go have a check with an organization that tells them how to behave, I’m not going to blame Snape only. Personally I would have left the school the moment I knew the professors and Dumbledore allowed extreme bullying to occur, left barely punished.

Oh poor Snape. Did he do a job he hated!!! HOW CAN YOU USE THIS AS AN EXCUSE. HE BULLIED CHILDREN. THE CHILDREN HE WAS RESPONSIBLE OF. AND HIM NOT WANTING JOB IS AN EXCUSE!!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME. This is absolutely no excuse. None of us do what we want to , but you can’t take your anger or your hatred from innocent children

I explained to you the Boggart. It’s up to you to listen or no.

Of course I listened to you, but I don’t think it has explanation nor an excuse. What he did was unforgivable and unjustifiable

Snape changed and I have given you the evidence. That he didn’t act nice -- even that I would partially explain as being his play as a deep cover double agent. What would Voldemort do if he learned that he coddled Neville? And really, he mostly wanted Neville to try and once succeed at following recipes, not making the potion explode or melt the cauldron along with his feet. Did he go out of his way to track Harry and Neville down to assign them detention? Did he mock Neville for being the child of vegetative parents? Clearly you haven’t seen the worst.

Clearly I haven’t seen the worst!!! Excuse me!! He humiliated him in front of Slytherins which ended up him getting bullied. He ruined his self esteem and he wasn’t able to do anything. He already had a hard childhood and he made him feel like a piece of sh** PLEASE DONT TRY TO MAKE AN EXCUSE. SNAPE FU**ED UP NEVILLES CHILDHOOD AND HIS MENTAL HEALTH. DO YOU THINK ITS OKAY. “It IsNt ThE WoRsT” I THOUGHT THIS TOPIC WAS OFF DEBATABLE. BULLYING A CHILD YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE OF ISNT OKAY.

I mean, Snape did become a young adult and tried to cope with what he lived. Wanna know how? He came to think that emotions were weaknesses (indeed it could cost his life), that discipline was essential, that rule-breaking was intolerable, and that you must be rigorous in your work. That those who “hold their hearts on their sleeves” are foolish and weak. Ah yes, that happens when you lived the last 22 years in the very place in which you were bullied, without access to any psychological help.

To be honest I don’t know why I’m discussing this with you, if you have this moral!!! HARD DISCIPLINE WAS NECESSARY!!!! THIS ISNT HARD DISCIPLINE THIS IS BULLYING. ACCEPT IT.

Still - I understand if you don’t like Snape for his bullying attitude. What I don’t agree with, on the other hand, is how you claim that Snape’s Patronus was a sign of obsession. I wonder what that makes Tonks then, whose Patronus changed as well? Or Harry having his father’s Patronus (oof)? Besides assuming that Snape’s Patronus changed at all -- you say that true love isn’t obsession. Guess what? Patronuses represent true love. Snape wasn’t obsessed, but James showed obsessive misogynistic behavior against Lily -- I proved it twice. If you’re going to tell me that characters can’t have Patronuses of the other sex and that Patronuses of different sexes (male/female) are the true sign of love while Patronuses of the same gender equals obsession then I’m going to call you homo/queerphobic. Yeah, have you thought about what those later assumptions meant?

If you want to I can discuss why James and Lily are soulmates. Why Jily is superior and why Snily is even disgusting to think.

Snape didn’t ruin Harry’s childhood. Voldemort did. If not for Snape Harry would have had no childhood. Especially when you know that the only reason Lily was given a choice to sacrifice her life for Harry (thus giving blood protection) is because Voldemort was convinced by Snape to spare her. If Snape hadn’t asked this, Lily would have had no choice but to die, and Harry would have followed. Must I mention how Harry would have been killed at 11 if not for Snape.

Also let’s love snape; who supposedly protected Harry. “You know what Harry, your mom didn’t loved me 82929 years ago also your dad was cooler than me, so I will treat you and your friends like sh*t

He never changed nor matured. He didn’t move on from Lily but he abused Harry because of his father.

Also thank you Snape for not killing Harry at 11. If Dumbledore told his suspicions to any other teacher, they would’ve done the same. Thank you Snape for not letting Harry fall from his broom.

And indeed it’s the same thing over and over again: I have the right (and the reasons) to dislike James and love Snape, just as you have the right (and the reasons) to dislike Snape and love James.

I won’t force you to like anyone. But you can’t + shouldn’t hate James because he was a bully. Snape was a bully too. You cant love a bully but also hate a bully. You should find more reasons to hate him. But it’s really hard to find reasons to hate James Potter who sacrificed himself for the world. Of course we will only focus on what he did as a 15 year old child. But what snape did at 15 has 392929 excuses.

Thank you for discussing this with me in an humane way. I highly encourage you to read my previous posts because I mentioned everything. Literally everything. I’m repeating myself at this point

[yaz-the-spaz]

Hey yaz! I was just wondering your opinion on why you think Liam's mgtm would have him "date" a 17/18 yo. I dont follow m*ya at all and know p nothing abt her except that she is a model (?) and her dad is famous (?). I just feel like its weird they would pick someone a decade younger than him. My friends who arent 1d fans all have bad opinions abt him bc of this so like why do you think she was the choice? I understand publicity for her and stuff but just curious on what you think.

hey! i honestly think they just don’t care that much about the age aspect of it (and probably didn’t even consider the fact that the reaction would be so icky or maybe they did but just didn’t care), i think it’s mainly just the old/usual tried and true PR and Promo for an Up and Coming Model™ gimmick that they’ve done time and again (because they know it works. because they’ve done 867 times now and still the het side of the fandom manages to fall for it every time and swoon their idiotic asses off) and the age gap was just a secondary thing that they were maybe hoping ppl either wouldn’t pay much attention to or wouldn’t care about. apparently they didn’t learn their lesson from the way ppl reacted to him and c and the whole gross pedophilic predator aspect of that whole scenario (w/ the stories of her flirting and preying after liam since he was 14, etc. smdh). but as pretty much everything has shown, 1dhq (or whoever is running shit now) and the entertainment industry in general tends to always be about 42 5-10 years behind when it comes to being cognizant of general public changing sentiments over things. i mean just look at how many shows and movies from within the last couple of years are STILL portraying relationships between adults and underage teenagers and acting like that’s normal and perfectly acceptable (riverdale, pll, shameless, etc.). maybe in the early 2000′s no one was really batting an eye that much (cause it was so normalized on tv/in movies over all these decades that a lot of us didn’t really think too hard about it) but that shit certainly ain’t flying in post-MeToo era and yet...asshats still out here showcasing it. 

and the same with representation i mean shows like glee and modern family were a game-changer for sure but it still took like 5-10 or so years after those shows’ inceptions for the rest of hollywood to get with the program and start putting more queer characters in their shows and movies and just generally engaging in more diverse representation on a whole (as far as race, religion, gender/gender identity, neurodivergence plus-sized, and handi-capable representation, etc. as well). hollywood/the industry in general has always been super slow to change and get on board with the progression of the rest of society, and super reluctant/resistant to change at that. i mean i know all this is only tangentially related but they are largely still fighting the rise of streaming services tooth and nail despite the fact that most of the big ones have existed now for around a decade. i have a friend who works in the music industry who’s talked to me in-depth about how much the big record companies are still remaining super set in their old dinosaur ways and insanely obstinate about changing their business methods in a way that would make much more sense with the direction of the market and the heavy skew towards free streaming because they just refuse to accept that the entire market has changed and is only gonna continue to change. but instead just wanna sit and wallow and try to force ppl to play by their old games in a way that just is not sustainable and very likely only gonna wind up losing them money and business in the long run. and ofc we see the same with politics. 

it’s all just old dinosaurs who can’t let go of the way things used to be and we’re unfortunately seeing that all play out in a weird way with this whole let’s make liam date a teenager bit. whoever came up with it, whether it was her family or 1dhq or both or whoever, is clearly wayyy behind the times when it comes to public sentiment and either did not even foresee/consider all the ways this was gonna be digested in a largely super negative way by the public (and by extension blow back on liam in a super negative way), OR is so fame-hungry/money-hungry and so desperate to get this girl some attention that they just did not care at all how it would look or be received. 

...or both. honestly i’d be very willing to bet it’s a little bit of both lol

anyway short story long the gate-keepers of every major industry in this country (and lbr, the world in general) can’t deal with the fact that their breed and their business models are rapidly going extinct or becoming obsolete. they can try all they want to force their old (gross) ideals and outdated business practices on an unwilling public but the fact of the matter it’s very likely only gonna end up biting them in the ass and having the exact opposite result than what they wanted.

(that or it’s a huge concerted negative campaign against liam that’s going swimmingly lol but that’s way too tinhatty and conspiratorial even for me and i highly doubt they would do all this and expend this much time, effort, and money into something that was purely meant for the purpose of sabotaging liam and nothing more, and that didn’t also in some way guarantee mutually assured gain in the form of promo for m and her family. this is compounded by the fact that liam’s very clearly spent the majority of the last two years being photographed almost exclusively with either her, or shady people in the business and fashion industries that also seemingly happen to have strong ties/connections to her father. that’s not a coincidence. this is clearly largely for her benefit. but - as what i’m sure is a nice bonus for whoever made the other end of the agreement on liam’s behalf - also doubles as a continued opportunity to perpetuate the already highly problematic public image liam has unfortunately been saddled with, as well ofc the usual perpetual bearding and closeting) 

[strugglingbeingateen]

Weightloss

Weightloss is a bitch! And the only people that can understand what im talking about are the people who have been through it or are currently in the same boat as me. So far I have managed to lose 4 stone. Im proud of it but im not happy yet.

I have been told through out my life by various people that im not good enough because of how i look and it has shaped me into a person i no longer like.

As a child i didnt care that i was fat and the other kids were thin, i accepted myself for who i was, not how i looked. Unfortunately small minded people didnt and those who were too scared to be unpopular because they are scared their real opinion isnt cool enough decided to join in on bullying me and other kids with similar problems.

As the years went by what started off as one comment that stuck in my head, became many and then before i knew it i was depressed.

Yes, depression is a word people throw around here and there and others just think theyre attention seeking but the thing is, i had been such a happy person my entire life i never thought i could be depressed and then one day it hit me.

I felt stupid after months and months of wondering why i felt numb and why i would cry almost every day in my room alone, i realised i was depressed. I remember when it happened, i was pushing away all my friends with out even really knowing why, being horrible to them but deep down i knew i wasnt good enough to be their friend and i remember sitting alone in my room like i did every time i wasnt at school, id just lay in the dark and it was like a lightbulb going off in my head and i was just like...well shit.

Im not the type pf person who likes to share emotions or my feelings and im way to lazy to hand write a diary so this is what im going for, i dont care if people read this or if it just sits unread, when i have finished losing this weight i want to know how i felt through it all, because its easy to forget.

Anyhoo, it took me a long time to pull myself out of the depression and the way i did it was i started walking, this was the start of my first serious diet, i lost 3 stone on this diet. I was getting very very over weight and i decided the cause of all my problems was that i wanted to be thin and i wasnt.

What started off as a 2 mile walk a day soon turned to 4 and then before i knew it i was walking 18 miles a day, running 1 and a half and cycling 6 to 8. ( by this point it was the summer holidays) everything hurt and i was hungry all the time because i went from eating 4 peoples intake of calories a day to 1 and that shifted a lot of the weight but as the diet went on i got tired of doing so much every day and waking up feeling and looking the same at least in my eyes, so i quit.

I put on 2 of the 3 stone i had lost and i didnt even care. I had decided that being fat was who i was and who i am meant to be. Up until this christmas, i was around my family who are all relatively healthy and i was saw us all sitting and eating in the mirror next to the dining table and i just felt lost, everyone smiling and laughing while i sat staring at this reflection of me thinking how disgusting i was and how unhappy i was again and its all because i was too stupid to cut down and change the exercise to fit what i needed and a realistic goal each day instead of quitting entirely.

So i swore, this new year i am going to lose the weight and even though over the past 7 ish months there have been bumps in the road and a couple times where i quit, i got back up and am now 4 stone lighter than i was at the beginning of the year.

I know many people have secret opions on overweight people and some not so secret, i know a lot of people who call fat people ugly when im around and i just turn to them and say ‘being fat and being ugly arent mutually exclusive’ and i watch ad their face falls and they realise that there is a fat person standing right next to them, i then watch as they struggle to find the right words to say and stutter and i remember with this one guy i just said ‘look, i know im fat’ he looks so confused, he was stunned as if he thought i was completely clueless and he said ‘you know?’ And i remember laughing and saying ‘of course i know, i have eyes and a brain, i can put two and two together just as easy as a thin person’ he looked to confused and i just remember how funny his expression was and i just said ‘i cant believe you didnt think that i knew i was fat, even if i never looked in the mirror, the size of my jeans or down, the people shouting fatty at me would clue me on’

In my opinion, being fat and ugly are two different things, i think someone being ‘ugly’ is just an opinion each person has about different people, some to do with looks and other personality. I think beauty really is in the eye of the beholder because i remember this girl who was my friend, i thought she was absolutely stunning, so perfect and just amazing and then my brother genuinely didnt find her attractive in any way shape or form, he said ‘i dont know why you think she is so pretty, she is bland and is as thick as two short planks’

I defended her over and over again until i saw her true face, not the one that you might think, she didnt take off makeup and look completely different or anything, she was a natural beauty, i mean we fell out, actually its a bit more complicated than that, i fell out with a mutual friend and no one asked but she chose the mutual friends side, me and the mutual friend just ignored each other but this other girl, she used me to make herself popular, she spread lies and rumours about me and got her new found ‘friends’ to torment me, every day they would ask me questions about rumours that i didnt even know about and they harrassed me, she just stood there and watched, sometimes she would laugh but she would never get involved, i guess she was too scared or was telling herself she wouldnt stoop that low and bully me but the way i saw it was she enjoyed watching me be harrassed and embarressed and tormented every day, where ever i went and she wouldnt speak to me when i spoke to her, she just ignored me like we had never been best friends, like she thought she was better than me. Like i wasnt good enough. I ended up spending more time at home than in school just because i couldnt get out of bed in the morning because i knew what was waiting for me at school. My mum soon figured out what was happenening and wanted me to go to the head of year so i agreed, i would but i wasnt saying any names, not only because i didnt want to be a snitch but a part of me still had hope that we would be friends again and i didnt want to hurt her. I ended up moving forms from the one she was in but that still didnt stop them, my parents started getting annoyed that i wouldnt go to school and they would shout at me and every day was a struggle. I just couldnt believe that my so called best friend of 8 years could change into this bitch. If it wasnt for my other friend i wouldnt have gotten through it.

Once i saw this side of her i no longer saw her as beautiful, i still knew people would and i couldnt deny she was pretty but being beautiful means inside and out in my opinion and the only thing she was inside was rotten and she still is. Its been over two years now and im not in school anymore im in college, the people that bullied me, some go to my college and they laugh and slag me off when they see me but luckily the girl stayed on for sixth form. Me and the mutual friend actually made up a little over a year ago and actually see each other quite often, when me and the bitch originally fell out, i remember people that were mutual friends asking me why and i said because shes a bitch and they would defend her, i have seen all of them and each one of them have appologised and said they were sorry because now they realise how right i was. The original mutual friend me and the bitch fell out about actually hates her now and i have just realised recently that these so called ‘friends’ the bitch have, dont really care and when they go off and live their own lives, they will leave her behind because they dont really care and this bitch i have heard she has no plans for the future, not that there is anything wrong with that but it just goes to show that popularity may matter to her now but what happens when there is no one left to be your friend and to show off to.

Anyway after all this i have become a better person, not the best version of myself yet but im getting there, i have learned what really matters to me and who really matters and i dont want to be thin anymore, i want to be fit, healthy because the trusth is no matter how much i want to deny it being overweight is unhealthy, both mentally and physically. The reason i know im going im going to get where i want this time is because i am doing it for me, because i want to feel and look good, not to show off to others or take revenge on this bitch.

Anyways i know this probably wont be read, but in case it is, i cant be bothered checking on spelling and grammar so sorry if its a terrible read i needed to get that off my chest

[couloredgrey]

Normally, i am not a person who uses her tumblr and especially not for writing texts, but this is a topic which breaks my heart everyday and makes me doubt.

Its Pride Month - a month full of happiness, proud, sense of community and mutual power, but also the negative aspects for all members of LGBT. I see this month divided into two parts, because of my own sexual and romantic orientation. I identify myself as asexual and somehow biromantic, but i'm not sure yet.

And my identification as asexual brings us to the topic which breaks my heart.

The exclusion of asexual / aromantic / agender from LGBT and also LGBTQ or which name you use. On the one hand i'm part of it due to my romantic orientation (B), but on the other hand i'm excluded from many peoples who say i'm part of AVEN. So, in general i had to splitt myself.

There are people out there who are part of LGBT and excludes us. During talks with different points of view in my personal enviroment, they gave my several reasons why the A-spectrum shouldnt and isnt part of LGBT and also no part of LGBT+. For them, there is no LGBTQIA or something similar which includes us.

Sometimes because of historical reasons. We were never persecuted, killed, discriminated like gays or transgenders or, or, or. Do you know how many people are out there, asking themselves whats wrong with their sexual or romantic attraction and cant find out they are maybe asexual or aromantic because nobody is talking about or even heard about it? Many, so many people. We became and we are suppressed by denying our existence and because of that, nobody of us can be persecuted or killed for that. But also, we dont have a chance to raise up our voices and be who we are. People doubt themselves, other rational explanatory reasons for their lack of interest are discussed (mental illness, trauma...) and surrender to the expectations of others. Lead a relationship because it is normal. Have sex because it is normal. Say their gender is their sex because it is normal. But it isn't normal.

We may have not the sad historical background like other sexual / romantic orientations or gender identities, but we have to face problems too in our daily life. Mostly denial, prejudice and lack of understanding and this isnt easy. Maybe people wouldnt harm us because we dont harm them with kissing a same-sex person in front of them, but we arent accepted. Like i said, we are repressed by social norms, values ​​and rules.

Growing up as a teenager who identify as asexuel brings many difficulties. People say i'm mentally ill (and hopefully we all know that sexuality isnt a mental illness) or that my lack of sexual interest is just for puberty. I become normal with time and that in truth I am just disgusted with sex like little kids. Also i am kind of forced to have sex. We live in a sexualized society where people say they can only have a relationship with somebody when the sexual intercourse is good enough. Yes, asexual doesnt mean i have no sexual intercourse, but often it goes hand in hand. I dont want to be forced to have sex, but i also want a romantic relationship ('cuz i'm not aromantic, you know), marriage, maybe adopting childrens or something like that. But when my partner comes into the relationship and says that sexual intercourse is necessary for everything more serious. How would you feel? Somebody says to a gay man he has to have sexual intercourse with a woman as a requirement to have a relationship with another man? And in the end, it was way easier to say i'm biromantic (or just i'm bi to people who dont know the difference between romantic and sexual attraction and arent into the whole LGBT stuff) than saying and explaining i'm asexual. LGBT is more accepted, tolerated and more comprehensible than AVEN, at least in my living environment.

Looking at the founding, we see LGBT is existing since the 1990s, later with Q. AVEN was founded in 2001 - nearly 10 years later. Yes, we were never a official part of the LGBT, but as we can see additions were made (Q). Not for the members of AVEN. I don't know the concrete history of the AVEN founding because it isnt that known in Germany, but i know the reasons: creating public acceptance and discussion of asexuality. It is a safe place for us, just for us. Like i said, we were faced with a lack of understanding and tolerance. Not only by normal people (e.g. straight, cis), but also by people who identify themselves as a part of LGBT and were also confronted with discrimination, lack of tolerance and prejudice. And thats a shame. People who made bad experience dont treat others better. In Germany, there is a saying: What you do not want to be done to you, do not add to any other. Something like that in english.

Why it isnt possible to have the LGBTQIA+ or whatever we would call it as the standard. Some people call it the community today, but there are many people more who exclude the A because we have our own organisation. You could compare it with a city. In this case LGBTQIA+ is the city with different districts (e.g. AVEN) who have their own matters, problems and concerns, but want to achieve a big goal - acceptance, tolerance, equality. No matter what sexuel or romantic orientation, no matter which gender identity. Whats wrong with this thought/idea? We have a international goal and even for this, the progress is not the same everywhere. It varies from country to country. Why can not you subdivide again depending on the specific needs of different games and include all the norm deviating?

In my eyes there are huge differences between the acceptance of gays, lesbians (or just homoromantic) and bisexuals/romantic in my enviroment. Gays are mostly accepted, part of films and series, representative in the society. Lesbians are often sexualized. Men find it (sexually) exciting and give offensive comments for example. Bisexuals are just the normality and nothing to make a big deal about because the still love the other sex. Comments like "Bit bi, never hurts" to straight people are normal too. Even if you dont notice it directly, the different components of LGBT have to deal with different problems.

But what counts: We all have problems (partly similar) because of our sexuality and gender identity and fight for the same goal. LGBT / LGBTQIA+ should be a role model and shouldnt exclude the A-spectrum. No matter which reason they have. In the eyes of society we are all not normal. And to the people of say asexuality, aromantism and agender isnt a sexual/orientation or a gender identity: e.g. asexuality is the sexuality without (any) sexual attraction towards others and this isnt the normality. We can all empower ourselves by holding together. We can all evolve, learn from each other and learn with each other. Nobody said that LGBT always has to be LGBT. And after all, Q is now also a part of it today. Expand it.

Happy Pride Month to all of you ❤

[tajimeme]

my dumb take on a sp highschool au because its what i think about all the time

- confirmed relationships that went from childhood crushes to actual relationships: craig and tweek, stan and wendy, red and kevin, kenny and butters, token and nichole

- heidi and cartman have been on-again/ off-again. its healthier that it was in elementary school because heidi can stand up for herself and no longer feels bad for her choices and as cartman matures he’s nicer to her and actually begins enjoying the relationship. but hes still shitty so heidi often breaks up with him but always ends up going back after a few days, not because hes begging but just because she wants to try again. - clyde and bebe are mutually exclusive minus drunk or high kisses or expressly agreed upon shenanigans. this usually involves bebe experimenting sexually with wendy or clyde getting involved in a usually gay threesome. clyde wants to officially date bebe and she thinks it would be nice but he’s too nervous to actually ask. so they’re dubbed as just “sort-of-dating” - craig and tweek went through the dating bullshit in fourth grade and at the time developed mutually innocent crushes. once they left south park elementary they talked about dropping the “dating act” but agreed neither wanted to. Once they entered highschool the “innocent crushes” evolved due to hormonal influences and after a fight it finally came to light that neither was really joking with their feelings and began dating for real.  - stan and wendy have always dated. they both always liked each other. but once they entered highschool wendy began wanting to experiment with women. stan was definitely jealous but he said it was okay because it was always with bebe and he knew bebe was always with clyde and didn’t feel their relationship threatened. in his downtime however stan began to notice he would also want to experiment and began to realize he always fantasized about kyle and he began questioning his feelings for him. he was really confused but he came out and told kyle who reciprocated. they began fooling around behind wendy’s back as fwb but emotions soon settled in and they began seeing each other, stan cheating on wendy. wendy later came out to say she doesn’t care if stan and kyle fool around because she does with bebe but she isnt aware of the emotion behind it. stan still wants to be with wendy because he loves her and always has but being with kyle is extremely exciting. its unknown how poly would work because wendy has proven to be extremely jealous. - stan and kyle act just like bros when together and their romantic relationship has not affected their friendship. any time they could potentially be caught like caught holding hands, they simply play it off by saying something like “what i just wanted to hold my best friends hand whats wrong with that?” and its usually dismissed. wendy doesnt suspect anything.  - kenny has always been just a good guy. while he had the reputation for dating and sleeping around he was notorious for treating the people he was with good. he had charm and looks and he was a genuinely nice guy to people. however he never dated anyone for long if at all. until butters. the two had decided to hang out. when a mood struck, kenny decided to kiss him. he frantically went to apologize not even knowing if he actually liked guys. butters was really embarrassed and confessed that he had asked him to hang out hoping for like a date. for a about a week they awkwardly danced around “dating”, nervously holding hands and such. they mutually agreed upon dating. 

-stephen and linda were leery of butters dating kenny at first but wanted to be supportive. butters and kenny can have no physically relationship in the stotch’s residence when his parents are home and its hard to set the mood at kenny’s house.  - tweeks parents arent actually that bad you guys are just mean.  - tweek and craig have been caught having sex by craig’s family countless of times because tweek can just not be quiet. its actually really funny to craig but traumatizes tweek but yet it still keeps happening and they keep doing it at craigs house. tweek’s parents don’t interrupt them like craig’s family does, but they may comment about it in the morning.  -clyde cried the first time he had sex with bebe.  -stan was not smooth his first time with wendy. it was really awkward and not the most pleasant. his first time with kyle they were really nervous but it went really well (stan tops) - tweek is really excited about sex. he usually convinces craig to go multiple times. he seems always ready to go and craig is very excited to give him what he wants. they experiment a lot and have a very healthy sex life. they have had threesomes with craig’s friend thomas (la petit tourettes) (tweek and thomas were both bottoms in this scenario), and clyde (tweek usually bottoms, but clyde has been in the middle before). 

-craig is the most supportive guy ever. he knows exactly how to handle a panic attack (from years of experience and learning) and it always there for any of his friends.  - stan and craig listen to the same kind of 2009 emo rock music and are total bros. they jam hard together.  - craig is a smoker because he thought it’d make him look cool and now he physically cant stop and he hates it but he’ll be damned if he spends $40 for a juul and be made fun of. Kenny smokes with him. Tweek likes to take puffs. it makes him feel cool.  - speaking of smoking craig and kenny get together and smoke weed all the time. if theyre at kenny’s house, stan sometimes joins them. if they’re at craig’s, clyde and tweek like to join.  -token and bebe host parties all the time. everyone gets completely trashed. someone usually has weed too.  - kenny usually has drugs. no one is surprised because of his family but hes such a nice guy that people usually forget about it. craig is down to try anything.  - tweek has xanax as a prescription and lets craig take it for fun.  - clyde has an adderal hookup. tweek’s tried it but it worked like it was suppose to with him and he didn’t have as good of time as everyone else. 

im sure theres more but its like 6:30am now