#(tell him he'll never be as good as you normally & he'll be pissed. tell him in bed and suddenly it's very different lmao)

[spring-lxcked]

Disgusting bastard sinday hours here we come, starting with the funniest one first.

William is absolutely, unshockingly into praise. That's not to say he's opposed to deprecation in bed (he's definitely into that in certain relationship dynamics), but praise is definitely the easiest way to drive him up the wall. Even outside of the bedroom, someone he's attracted to (genuinely) singing his praises is a turn-on.

[prettyboykatsuki]

touya 🥰🥰

✮ tags ; gn + afab!reader, some titty worship, crassness from touya, vague but established relationships, fucking against a wall, 18+

✮ wc ; 1.6k

✮ a/n ; i have no clue how to write this guy im sorry. i tried my best though

Touya has a tell when he lies.

You'd never tell him about it. The minute he becomes aware is the minute he stops—and the minute he stops is the minute it makes reading him harder than it needs to be.

(You're good at reading Touya though even without the help. You've grown accustom to reading between the lines after all these years spent together. If you hadn't, you doubt the two of you to be together.

Understanding when whatever means please stay and when you're alright means i love you are necessities. The life line to the fragile relationship you call lovers)

It's not every time he lies. It's only when he has something he's embarrassed telling you and when all attempts at shamelessness result in obvious failure.

You try not to let it show your excitement on your face. He'll get pissed at you. He has a habit of being sulky when he's being teased.

You pull back from a kiss, breathless. You smile at him lopsidedly, fingers around the collar of his jacket as his hand sneaks up underneath your shirt. Calloused skin draws along your belly, up your sides and make you shiver.

Touya is always intense but there's something different today. His hand as your leg hitched up and he's grinding into you with such obvious fervor that it's making it hard to breathe. He chases your mouth the minute you pull away, frowning hard as you bite back a smile.

"What."

You're trying to contain yourself. Really. "Did you... miss me, Touya?"

It's there. His tell. A hand on the back of his neck and a look to his left. It happens quickly, gone as just soon as you see it. "Fuck no," And then as if to prove a point. "My dick might've, I guess."

He goes into kiss you again and you appease him and allow it. You let him touch you to his hearts content and keep your amusement to yourself at the obvious desperation. Sex is the one place Touya can't hide from what he wants, though he very often tries anyway.

He's practically frantic as he pushes you further against the wall. His mouth moves along your neck with searing intensity. He's handsy. Grabbing, biting, sucking - he leaves marks where he wouldn't care to normally, all over your neck. Your core is syrupy and hot, like spun sugar melting over the flame of Touya's longing.

He moves quickly, letting your leg down in process. Unbuttoning your jeans and pulling them down to your thighs before doing the same for himself. You haven't moved from the door away but it's obvious Touya has no intent of doing so either, until he makes you cum at least once.

"Touch me," He voices it as a demand despite himself. Despite the obvious lust in his voice and the way he's looking at you. You wonder if he's self-aware about the face he makes when he's needy. "C'mon. 's rude to keep me waiting."

So you do. Pushed up against a wall with nothing but body heat like two teenagers all over again - you cup his hard cock, delighting in the way he shivers at the touch and moans into your mouth. You stroke him from in front and let him touch you in return. He strokes your clit at first but moves on quickly to fingering you, slipping further into your panties without taking them off. He likes how the sticky fabric clings to his scarred hands.

(You've learned over the years that Touya likes the mess. He likes when there's evidence of your intimacy in all the places you've ever fucked. Some of it is tried and true perversion.

But like the marks he leaves on your sternum and the bruises on your hips from his hold - you think that Touya likes lingering in your life in whatever way he can.)

"You're going so fast," You mumble. He pauses. Pouting, he goes on anyway. It's not like you told him to stop.

"Isn't it fine? You're already so fucking wet,"

You can feel yourself throb as Touya fucks his fingers into you. He starts with one, but there's not any resistance. Aching, practically pulsing with need, a moan slips past your lips at the sudden thrusting. He slows a little.

"Show me your tits,"

You roll your eyes but you listen anyway, pushing your shirt and bra up haphazardly. You figure he just wants to see them - but your mind changes when trails kisses down your neck and wraps his mouth around your nipples wordlessly. Your spine arches into the touch, a wave of arousal slicking Touya's finger. He adds a second after that, free hand holding the small of your spine as he sucks your nipple into his mouth, making sure to pay attention to each one for a little.

He opens you slowly, stretching you until it's easy to pump his two fingers in and out.

He stares at you with unbreaking eye contact while he fucks your pussy open. It's unnecessarily intense in a way that you find on brand. You stare back unsure of what else to do, a fucked out expression definitely being reflected black in blue irises.

It's a beat after that he pulls away from you. You whine at the loss of contact but Touya swallows the sound with a kiss. His nose nudges your jaw, hot and sensitive.

"Turn around," He hums it against your throat. "I think you can take me,"

He's going too fast, you think again. He likes to draw everything out so much more. Bully you into begging for him, if the mood strikes him. At the very least he likes to drag you into his own depths and feel so needy.

You oblige him by turning around and placing your hands on the wall, cheek pressed against the cool surface. He groans, a sharp noise slipping past your lips as the familiar weight and length of his cock push against the curves of your ass.

And then he gets too close to you. Tucks his chin against your shoulder and drops his weight over your back. He's always close to you but it's rare his clinging is so open as it is now. You decide not to say anything, pushing yourself back like an invitation. He chuckles, the sound is low - the reverb adding to your wetness and making your arousal worse.

"Three week long stake-out is fuckin' ridiculous," He presses a bite to your neck. "What the hell could you need to stake out for three weeks."

You read between the lines. I missed you. You laugh.

"Dunno. Glad to be back," You reply to him in his own language. Missed you too.

There's a brief moment of pause, the ghost of a smile on your back as you feel the familiar stretch of Touya's cock against your cunt. Your hole stretches, flutters at the euphoric sensation. Your stomach flips with a restless wanting as you try not to shove yourself all the way back on his dick too quickly. He groans against your shoulder. "Perfect fucking pussy,"

"You feel so good," You whimper in reply.

"Yeah?" He whispers it against your neck as one hand holds your waist, the other snaking around to toy with your clit as he pushes into your warm, wet heat. "Tell me about it."

"Fuck, Touya,"

His dick twitches at the sound of you moaning his name. You can feel him inside of you, so deep. Your eyes flutter as fullness knocks all the air out of your lungs. He's all in your stomach. Your breatch catches and hitches with each inch he manages to slide into you.

The sensation of orgasm dulls before it crescendos back up again. Somewhere in between that, Touya moves. It's slow at first, a shallow rock of hips before he paces himself and really starts to fuck you.

The way Touya fucks you is a little like him - noisy and invasive, a hard thrust of his hips that makes your ass recoil in reply from the sheer force. You gasp, feeling lightheaded from the intensity. He's deep, too deep - all the way up into your throat. His balls slap up against your clit every now and again and there's not any real delicacy to it, though there is so much precision.

He would never voice it aloud but he prides himself on knowing your body. Knows it inside it and out. Knows all the spots and angles that getting your sweet little cunt soaking with cum, knows how to make you want him.

He always fucks you good, and maybe it's the distance - but god, today he fucks you dizzy. Your voice keeps slipping with the clap of each thrust and you can barely keep yourself upright, knees threatening to go weak on each one. The only thing keeping you upright is Touya's cock spearing into you. Over and over until you feel it build in your gut again.

"Gonna cum," You barely make the words out. "Fuck, Touya,"

"That's it," He huffs, punctuating his words with a thrust. "Say my name. Say my fucking name when you cum for me,"

You pretend not to notice the emphasis on it being for him. You pretend not to hear the shake in his voice, how shattered he sounds with each word like he wants it as much as you.

Maybe more. You'll never tell Touya that part of the reason you cum so fucking hard is because he sounds so fucking wanting when he asks you to cum. Like falling from heaven, your orgasm drags you down to Earth and makes your whole body shake on impact. Your pussy spasms hard around his cock, thighs trembling and toes curling in your shoes at you let it all out.

Touya encourages you with a few sloppy thrusts and the intimacy of your name on his lips, making you ride the high over first before he follows suit. You feel him cum in you and sigh internally knowing you'll need contraception.

"Don't go on such long fucking stake-outs," He tells you. You laugh.

"Okay. I won't."

"We're not done fucking, either."

You laugh a little louder at that and turn around to kiss him over your shoulder. You smile when he leans into so easily "Uh-huh. Sure."

[murdrdocs]

personifying pussy; typical carm angst; angsty sex; MDNI 18+ w/ CARMEN BERZATTO

it's a cycle with carmy.

you're good, great, even. you gush about him to friends and family. you bring him out for bowling or wine tasting or something your friends suggested and you're so happy to go because you're happy to go with him. he makes time where he can. he laughs at your jokes and adds onto the bit. he makes dinner and hides his smile with his hand when you make dinner because you're really not a bad cook and his smile is one of fondness than mockery.

and then something happens. a nightmare or a thought that spirals or a memory and suddenly carmy is cold. he's the avoidant guy sugar talked about while he was in new york. he's the nuisance and new owner that tina and richie shit talked to you about when you came in for your usual. he's the neglectful partner sydney texts you about late at night before he returns home. and he's the boyfriend who's side of the bed is always cold and his mug is never used and his shoes are always gone from the rack.

you've gotten used to it. it's a cycle and it's one that's comforting. it shouldn't be, this shouldn't be your normal, but it is. and you're fine with that. because you don't want to lose carmy.

and because it's not always like that. it's never bad, just frustrating, even when you argue and his eyes are emotionless and your eyes are crazy as you throw your voices and throw your hands up in wild gestures.

it's not always like that. and even when it is like that, there are some benefits.

like when carmy comes home and you're awake, sitting in bed on your side, doomscrolling so bad that the action needs a new, more extreme name. you hear the lock, but it's night five into the more unfavorable part of the cycle so you stay in bed. you know—you think that carmy needs his space and you're prepared to give him that.

then the bed dips beside your feet and he sighs. he rests his hand over your ankle with nothing but the duvet and the bedsheet in between your respective warmth. he doesn't say anything, neither do you, but you've stopped watching the video on your phone. it has turned into nothing but white noise behind carmy's voice—soft and slightly broken—when he finally speaks.

"hey."

you click your phone off and look at him. "hey."

you notice he doesn't smell like cigarettes. you wonder if his breath will taste like the horrible gum he's been forcing himself to chew lately.

"i missed you." his admission comes first.

"i missed you, too." it makes it easier for you to tell him.

he's on you quickly. sturdy body hovering over yours, one hand pressed into the pillow and the other gripping your waist, dipped beneath the duvet.

he kisses you with all of the unspoken words from the past few days. he kisses you and it's like you can forgive him, even without a proper apology. because that's what you do, you put up with carmen berzatto's shit. and why? because you believe in him? because you love his family? because you hope he'll get better? because you love him?

maybe it's more simple than that. maybe it's because you need him. you need him to scratch the itch within you that you couldn't reach on your own. you need him to ignite the fire inside of you that only his probing and the sound of his yelling could do.

his rough hands tug your panties off and lift your sweatshirt over your head. you wonder if he notices that it's his sweatshirt. you wonder if he even cares.

it's not like he can focus or care about anything that isn't your body in the moments like these. your body as your legs part and welcome him in, even when you were talking to your mother during your lunch break about how distant and cruel he'd been lately. your body as your chest reaches for the sky and carmen interrupts it's path, his mouth coming down to lick around your nipples.

he's so good at this and it pisses you off. when you first got together, it was obvious that he was out of experience. but like everything else, carmy works as if he has something to prove. it's his motivator, the thing pushing him to become better and better at whatever he tries his hand at, even if he burns some bridges along the way.

he hasn't burnt the bridge between you two yet, which is the worst part of this all.

his promises come easier when he's fucking you. slow slides of his cock in and out in and out, your cunt squelching around him as if she's as appreciative to have him back as you are.

fucking you is always his apology. it's the easiest one for him. the one that keeps his tail untucked from between his legs and his ego still in check. after he's tweaked out in the middle of the living room over the smallest thing and snapped at you instead of dealing with the issue head on, he wraps his arms around your waist and kisses the side of your neck until you're open to bending over the counter.

after he brought his anger from the bear home and let it burn until everything else was scorched in its path, he finds you in the shower and slides his hands between your thighs.

and you always accept, because if he doesn't fuck the anger and sadness out of you, it'll never go away. if he doesn't apologize like this you don't think he'll ever apologize.

and that's why you sit and listen to his promises for things to be different. it's why you rake your hands through his tangled hair, undoing the tangles as best as your pleasure shook hands will allow.

"'m not ... i'm not doing this shit anymore, okay? it'll all be different. t...tomorrow. yeah. yeah. tomorrow." you don't even know how he's able to spit such bullshit when you're squeezing around him like this. but maybe that's how, maybe he's so lost up in the feeling of your perfect pussy—as he's called it on a few occasions—that he doesn't even know what he's saying.

it makes the most sense, especially when typically, tomorrow comes and he's just as cold as the day before.

he makes you cum quick, that's what distance will do to you. your leg hooked over his shoulder, your foot dangling uselessly up beside his head, while your other leg is wound around his waist, keeping him close to you. as soon as he brings his hand down to circle your clit, you're gone. your head is thrown back and your eyes are squeezed shut. your feet are flexing and pointing and your abdomen is pulled tight and relaxed. it's euphoria at it's finest. it's always like this. it's like a fucking drug, and unlike carmy with his nicotine addiction, you don't think you'll ever want to stop.

you don't ever want to stop, you know that for certain. so when carmy wakes you up a few hours later, not as early as usual and a quick reminder that it's saturday tells you why, you submit into him.

it's tomorrow, and maybe things will be different.

[brainddeadd]

smut

you've been teasing jisung all day. sending him flirty texts and photos that show just not quite enough to satisfy him. you sent him a moaning audio, one he knows he's never heard before, so you must have been touching yourself at that time. you called out his name in the audio, being so mean by sounding so pretty and needy.

you know he's been hard since the first flirty texts you sent him - he made the mistake of telling you, and you neglected to give him permission to touch himself.

he's due home any minute, and you're in his favourite lacy lingerie, waiting on the bed, legs spread, a vibrator pressed to your clit. you've already cum, and your legs are shaking. you know jisung will be whiny, but he'll thank you for it when he can just slide his hard cock into you and not have to wait so he can stretch you out.

normally, jisung loves to make out with your pussy, get you stretched and dripping for him, but you know you've been testing him just a little too much today and he won't have the patience.

you hear the front door shut and a few seconds later, your bedroom door is opening, just in time for you to cum from the vibrations on your clit, calling out for jisung as you do.

"fuckkkk," jisung's already pulling off his jeans, shirt, and shoes long gone. you can see the outline of his cock in his underwear through the tears in your eyes and your hips buck in anticipation.

"you've been such a bitch today." ok, that you didn't expect. you go to say something but he cuts you off.

"i've been so fucking hard all day, being so good for you, holding in my cum for you, and you make me cum before i can get my cock inside you?" he's pissed and you're confused until the words sink in to your brain.

"you.. you came from-"

"you crying out my name like you're in fucken heat the second i walk in the door? yes." he's free of his underwear and is standing over you, frowning down at you. "what am i going to do with you?"

"please seungie fuck me." your begging, the vibrator still buzzing on your clit and you can feel your cum dripping down your ass.

"do you deserve it?"

[dark-night-hero]

You hate Gojo Satoru. He who says he'll be there when you wake up but always in the morning when you wake up, he was nowhere in sight. Dishes left unclean in the sink with his dirty laundry all over the floor left for you to be picked up.

You hate Gojo Satoru. He who promised to protect you but left you once he heard his friends- his students were endanger. He who would leave you in a heart beat, telling you others needed him- his students needed him. What about you? Don't you need protection too?

You hate Gojo Satoru. He who always scolds you for your carelessness, but laughs his carelessness off like it was no big deal. Even when he's hurt he always laugh it off, telling you he was fine, he was the strongest after all.

You hate Gojo Satoru. He who tells you he would be there back by your side by midnight. Only for you to left the cold dishes on the table as you take a rest for the night. Those heartfelt made dishes left untouched as you have no appetite left for the night.

You hate Gojo Satoru. He who has many secrets to keep, responsibilities to meet. He who no matter how many times you tell him to rest, keep it easy, would only push himself even more. Sometimes, you thought like for once, you just want him to be normal. Back to his old self, something that was too much to ask. The two of you have already lost a lot. You do not want to lose him too.

But you love Gojo Satoru. He who even thought was not by your side upon waking up would not forget to cook you a meal before he left home, a single note saying there was an emergency mission and he's sorry he could not be there by your side as he promised he'll be. On the bottom saying he had already but your remaining laundry in the washing machine and that he'll be bringing dinner later and that Megumi and this other students might come too. Also saying sorry for leaving his clothes in a hurry and for leaving the dirty dishes on the sink.

But you love Gojo Satoru. He who knew you needed no protection, you are strong after all. Nevertheless was always there on your toughest times. "Need a help, babe?" There he was leaning over the wall, ready to step in at any moment. "No." "Aw come on babe, the more you get the job done early, means we can come home early too. Allow me to step i-" "Satoru. I can handle this." "'Kay." He pout like a child causing you to roll your eyes and finish the curse in one attack. "Let's go." You spoke, offering a hand to him in which he gladly take, pulling you close to him. "I knew you could handle them." He spoke, kissing the crown of your head.

But you love Gojo Satoru. He who despite never seemed to listen to everyone's word could never go on and ignore you. "I'm sorry." He was kneeling in front of you. Arms and legs crossed, you questioned him. "I'm sorry for what?" "For being a careless individual and getting myself in danger for playing around too much." He pout, blue iris seemed to be looking at you with puppy eyes as if he wss expecting you to let him off so easily. "You knew that was the case. Why still act like that? Look at your students, do you think you're being a good exam..." As you continue to rant off and scold there teacher, the trio that was silently listening and watching starts to shiver. "Remind me not to pissed off Gojo sensei's lover." In return, Megumi could only shrug. He have seen this scene for a long time now.

But you love Gojo Saturo. He who know who to make things right when be fucked up. "Hi." Thats what he said when you saw him creeping inside your shared room at night. In his hands were flowers and some kind of sweets. "Why are you standing in there like a cre-" "I'm sorry, there was a emergency mi-" "It's alright." You were not made that he missed your promised night. Just disappointed, but looking at his guilt written face. All of those disappointment just fades away. "Come here. Are you hurt? Have you eaten yet? If not, how about I warm up the foods and eat?" You smile at him before taking those flowers and sweet in this arms. Not to long he pull you in an embrace. "Thank you." "Hmm."

But you love Gojo Satoru. So that means taking care of his responsibilities- his students while he is gone. "Are you okay?" It was Megumi as he sat down right next to you. "I am." You lied. You are not okay, not when everything is falling apart, not when everything is fucked up, not when it seems like everyone is putting the blame on your love one. Not when your lover is sealed off, unknown how and when to be released. "I'll be okay, Megumi." You pat the boy in the should as you stood up. "Let's get going shall we?"

You love Gojo Satoru, so you have to let him go. With the two of you stand by each other just staring at the ruined city cause by the return of the King of the Curses, he felt him take a hold of your hand. "I'll be back." He spoke, kissing the back of your hand. You smile painfully at him, "Will you?" "I will, I promise. Aren't I the strongest?" He laughs. "... don't make a promise you can't keep, Satoru." Kissing away the tear rolling down your cheek. "I'm sorry." He whispered. "Be safe, okay? Satoru.."

[ⓒdark-night-hero] 2024°

[mywifealhaitham]

pre release boothill relationship headcanons!!!

a/n: I'm fiending off crumbs... I've wanted to read some x reader of him but theres none so I gotta write it myself. I hope the other 4 boothill fans enjoy

warnings: gn!reader, like 2 gendered pet names (pretty girl/boy), most of this is written with bias because we don't have alot to go off, obviously written prerelease, when we actually get content of him I'll definitely be rewriting

LEAKS AHEAD!!!

bc: Valentine_DD_ on twt

- Boothill is described as a righteous person if his bottom line doesn't get crossed, so he definitely treats you good. probably more on the protective side when it comes to you, he's probably not afraid to use his gun if someone is threatening you.

- and believe me he's intimidating. from his overall tough and "unruly" cowboy look to his mechanical body it leaves enemies just a little challenged. he lowers his voice too and probably has a more fierce look in his eyes too. after any threats have been delt with he probably turns to you and turns into the sweetest thing ever, a wide grin across his face and his hands on your cheeks peppering you with small kisses.

- Its said he's a bit sophisticated due to his experiences so I'd like to imagine sometimes he charms you with facts and details about other planets or just genuinely sharing some tips and tricks he's picked up from other cultures. he's also a person who can get along with others pretty well but he can easily give strangers an impression he's selfish and is a bad person.

- again this kinda feeds into he's basically you'd guard dog... but I mean who wouldn't want to be saved by a handsome and sweet cowboy. despite his unpredictable personality and looks he's a huge gentleman for sure. always opens doors and pulls out chairs for you, makes sure your behind him and okay if any danger approaches and practically listens to your every command (lowkey giving off my girl and I don't argue she tells me to shut up and I do)

- one part I'm so excited to see is what they mean by he's illiterate and using metaphors. it's probably just him using slang but it's still kinda cute. I feel like his cheesy and strange metaphors turn into pick up lines when talking to you. perhaps he'll pull a "did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" or something cheesier. Definitely a huge nickname guy, almost never uses your real name. I'm guessing he'd use stuff like doll, sugar, baby, pretty girl/boy and more teasing names. heavy on doll and sugar and just imagine him saying it in a deep southern accent... 😍 kicking my feet. also I imagine he loves making you giggle by not cursing (because he literally cant) and normally he'd get pissed if someone laughed at him like that if it's you he doesn't mind at all.

- that's pretty much it for like analyzing the leaks I saw but now the stuff up ahead is just bias yapping because I always project

- HE DEFINITELY IS A HAND KISSER. greets you by getting on one knee, holding his hat to his chest and kissing your hand. makes eye contact with you too and does that toothy smirk of his IM SWOONINGGG

- maybe he's a dancer! pulls you into his arms and places his hat on your head when a good song plays in taverns. even if your clueless on any type of dances then he'll pull you along to the beat whispering Instructions in your ear.

- gets so lovesick when drunk it drives everyone mad. any folks he's sitting with at a bar gets a whole speech on his wonderful beautiful darling who he owes his live and would happily die by their hand. and may God save you when you come pick him up because he'll be all over you. Immediately he wraps a arm around your waist as he slurrs his hello as he proceeds to tell you he loves you like 40 times. besides the mass amounts of kisses you'll receive once you both reach a private spot he let's some feelings that he might be too shy to share normally, holding your face as he calls you his pretty girl/boy and how he's so lucky to have you.

- honestly not the best for cuddling however unfortunately he needs to cuddle you to sleep so goodluck! his metal body isn't completely uncomfortable it's just cold alot. he tries to get around this by literally preheating himself with blankets before you go to bed.

very bad boothill brainrot atm... only a few more weeks until we get official content 😭 everyone hold hands we got this

here's the actual leaks if anyone is curious ^_^

[listofwhyyouloveher]

Hey bae!! I was wondering if you could do the outsider gang with a female S/O that has a belly button piercing and almost always wears tube tops and low raise jeans? Thank you!!

Summary: The Gang x Anon reader req Warnings: None Authors note: SHORT AND NOT PROOFREAD VERY LOW TIME CRUNCH

PONYBOY is so taken aback by your style. He thinks its so pretty and cute, but its certainly different from what he and Tulsa is used to. He gets accustomed to it pretty quick though, loving your style and even helping you pick out clothes every once and a while. After he's studied your style for a bit he can put together outfits that shock even you. JOHNNY is a little scared of you, Tulsa isn't a place where outfits like that usually fly, but he learns you're actually quite sweet and you fit his personality perfectly. He loves your style, he swears you're the most unique girl in Tulsa. He loves your piercing, too and always finds cute new jewlery for you to use. However, meeting his parents would be tricky, they're very conservative. SODAPOP loves when girls have unique styles. He thinks it makes them stand out more. He actually approached you and complimented your outfit. He's always going clothes shopping with you, he finds it so much more fun that shopping for 'normal girl clothes' (whatever that means) because you go to a lot of stores that he's never even heard of before. STEVE thinks your style is super hot. He loves the low rise jeans on you and how it accentuates your curves. He espescially loves it when theres designs on the front or back because he likes picking at the little gems/stitching when he's anxious. He'll tell you he'd get a piercing to match with you one day, just not a bellybutton one, and maybe not for a long time. TWO BIT thinks you look insanely good. He loves how confident you look when wearing your outfits, he doesn't even care if its the worst outfit ever, if his girl is happy he is happy. He did get one of his ears pierced to match yours, but he only got the side that meant he was 'in a gang' to look tuff. He's always getting you jewlery for your piercing and he loves it when you get him tuff earrings. DARRY finds your outfits to be a little risque. Don't get me wrong, he loves how you look and he loves how happy it makes you, but goddamn does he get pissed when a soc looks you up and down the wrong way. He can't help but get a little protective of you, but he would never admit it. He gives you his jacket to wear all the time though. DALLAS thinks your style is hot. He gets insanely jealous though, he'll ask you where your going dressed like that and he just sighes when you say to something simple like the grocery store or something. He always makes you wear something of his to remind others to BACK OFF. He would never get a piercing to match with you, no matter how hard you plead and no matter how tuff he thinks they are.

[19burstraat]

ketterdam dashboard simulator

goedmedbridge420

who up boeking they canal

10,345 notes

drydens follow

I can't believe some of you log on here and thirstpost about barrel vagrants. it makes me so sick. these men are the very pits of society and have never honoured ghezen a day in their lives. there are so many other young men who make their living in a reverent way. have some dignity.

#ghezen #inghezenssight #ghezenhonouring #churchofghezen #handofghezen

2 notes

kooperomno1fan

lionsroar12 follow

omg HOW is kaz brekker winning this he's SO problematic he's not even good for the economy he killed members of his own gang and kidnapped councilman van eck's son

dregsundrained

cranky coz your gang fell apart aren't you

17,860 notes

oskervoexchange follow

guys is this a mandela effect or what bc I SWEAR this painting used to be in the university district art museum, I literally saw it this week??? but I went today and it was GONE?????? there wasn't even a plaque?? guys pls I'm so confused why is everyone acting like this is normal for ketterdam? do priceless antiques just VANISH? am I being gaslit?

450 notes

stadhall-clerking

guys I'm so sorry I've been MIA :( I found out that my landlord was using my rent on the staves rather than fixing my black mould problem so I pushed him out the window and told the stadwatch he must have fallen and died because he wasn't honouring ghezen and got away with it. anyway I think maybe the black mould explains the dirtyhands/sturmhond fic I was writing sorry :( but I WILL finish my fairy queen of istamere meta post once I've moved into my new lodging

670 notes

dregsconfessions follow

SUBMISSION: sometimes I lie awake thinking about the time I fell down an entire flight of stairs at the slat when kaz was at the bottom, and he just stared at me (still lying on the floor), and then asked if I'd changed the beer kegs at the silver six yet. GIRL NO?!?!?!

#submission #dregs #dirtyhands #admin comment: laughed so loud my upstairs neighbour threatened to shoot me

546 notes

dregsconfessions follow

ADMIN NOTE: if the razorgulls don't fucking stop sending anon hate to this blog we'll tell dirtyhands n he'll send you your own IP address back

#see what happens you hack job seagulls

500 notes

kerchtourismboard

it's us, the real kerch tourism board, here to tell you what we're putting in the new summer season pamphlet. we got 1) three pages all about kaz brekker that end up being more of an advertisement than a deterrent 2) list of slipperiest spots in the barrel where you will fall over and get a concussion when ur drunk 3) top 10 ways to get your wallet stolen by a child in broad daylight 4) paintings of the komedie brute 5) advert for sten's stockpot 6) map of public toilets

570 notes

kerchtourismboardreal follow

we are not affiliated with any degenerate impersonator accounts who claim to be us. we are the only real kerch tourism account.

23 notes

kerchtourismboard-real follow

grafcanal smells like piss and you should bite everyone you see wearing the mister crimson costume

450 notes

stensstockpot follow

it's all 'fuck sten's stockpot' and 'I got food poisoning from the special at sten's stockpot' until you realise you don't have the money for cilla's fry, and then you come CRAWLING back to the loving arms of sten's stockpot and our special. you fucking traitors. you'll be back! you'll all be back

canaljumpings follow

what's in the special sten's stockpot

stensstockpot follow

it's a surprise ;)

bertskerch follow

nah I thought this was the real stens lmao

stensstockpot follow

bert smit you still have 45 kruge to pay on your tab and if you don't cough up we'll send our debtors to break your legs

230 notes

exchangingbabey follow

my grisha girlfriend who still wears a kefta and says things like 'nikolai lantsov is a bastard': ugh they're still debating whether or not the council of tides should be able to control kerch shipping, I hate inter-country politics

me: I think I hauve the queen's lady

4500 notes

(insp) (insp)

[multifandomimagin3s]

It's your birthday - 141, Los Vaqueros + König

A/N: Since it's my birthday today, thought I'd indulge myself so hope you guys enjoy :))

Summary: It's your birthday and the guys find out.

Simon "Ghost" Riley

Depends on if he's close to you or not.

Mans has the emotional range of a sock, so realistically the most you'd probably get out of him is a gruff "Happy Birthday."

And that's only if he somewhat likes you - if he doesn't then he'd probably just say "You're getting old now, cunt." *Affectionately? Who knows.*

If you were part of the Team, he'd probably take the piss out of you for it.

Would definitely be the one who would tell the waiters that it was your birthday - even if it wasn't - just to embarrass you.

Nonetheless, despite all his teasing, you came back to your room that night to find a little gift on top of your bed spread; there was no name on it, but scrawled across the tag said "Happy Birthday, (Y/N)."

It was a hunting knife with your initials carved into the base of the handle.

You never questioned it but whenever he saw you use it, a small glint briefly sparkled in his eyes.

Johnny "Soap" MacTavish

He's lowkey annoyed that you never told him when your birthday was.

Would absolutely rope you and some of the Team into going out clubbing - Ghost refused but ended up turning up anyways; "Wanted to watch you make arses of yourselves."

I can just imagine him going to the bar and coming back with a tray of shots - the people who carry and sell the shots in clubs know to carry extra because he buys them all each time.

Would honestly have spent most, if not all, of his money if it hadn't been for Price being the voice of reason.

Would also be the type that would be telling anyone and everyone that it was your birthday so you guys could get free shots.

Orders you whatever food you want on the way back home aswell - kebab? Got it. Pizza? Done. Whatever you want, he'll stumble into the shop and get it.

Your birthday would be absolutely chaotic but it would be one to remember.

Captain John Price

He knew it was your birthday, he's seen your file - the fact that you hadn't mentioned it to anyone meant that you probably had a reason not to, so he didn't say anything.

Would probably wish you a casual 'happy birthday' on a passing, in his normal formal tone.

When Soap invites all the team out on your behalf for clubbing, he's reluctant to go - claims he's "too old for that shit."

But ends up going anyways, purely because he knows that when Soap gets drunk he's a bit of a liability and can easily spend way more than he should (and honestly, same).

Would buy you a drink - whatever you wanted, alcoholic or not.

And maybe, just maybe, if he's had a bit to drink and or is in a good mood, he'd let you wear his hat. Just this once.

But then Soap tried to put it on and said he was keeping it...

So he took the hat back like >:(

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick

He also knew when your birthday was - it came up in a conversation ages ago, and he has a great memory.

Also gets roped into your birthday night out by Soap.

He'd probably get just as drunk as Johnny but he'd be taking photos and posting onto his Snapchat Story, basically vlogging the whole night.

I can also see him surprising you with a cupcake, placing a birthday candle in it with a sheepish smile.

Would also buy you drinks but unlike Soap, he wouldn't be killing his bank account - self-control and all that.

Would get the DJ to play a birthday song for you - not the traditional cheesy one, but either 'It's My Birthday' by Will.I.Am or maybe 'Birthday' by Anne-Marie.

Alejandro Vargas

"Ah, feliz cumple!" *idk if this is correct, using this article for reference*

Like Soap, he wants to go all out for your birthday - if both teams were together at the time, it'd be one big chaotic night out.

He's a big flirt, regardless of what age you are he's complimenting you nonstop.

If he and Rudy get roped into the Night Out by Soap, Rudy and Price end up having to the be the voices of reason - Soap, Gaz, and Alejandro keep ordering shots; they managed to convince you into doing that challenge of getting a drink of everything from one end of the bar to the other.

Needless to say, you're all legless by the end of the night - well, Alejandro's still vertical but his alcohol tolerance is insane.

Would definitely want to spoil you - takes you shopping and tells you to pick anything that you want, don't worry about the price.

Honestly this is making me think of what Sugar Daddy! Alejandro would be like and it's giving me ideas...

Rudy Parra

This sweet guy would absolutely go out and get you a cake, maybe a balloon, and a card.

How did he know it was your birthday? He's a good listener, you'd been talking about your life outside of the military and had flippantly mentioned when your birthday was, which he noted.

Like Alejandro, he would honestly spoil you rotten.

If you both weren't deployed, he'd plan a trip away somewhere, surprising you with the tickets.

If he gets roped into going out by Alejandro - who was roped in by Soap's enthusiasm - he's practically glued to your side for most of the night.

Takes a bunch of candid pictures of you - they're honestly really good, he should be a photographer.

He'd probably have to stop Alejandro from feeding you and the others stronger shots - the jump from sambuca to jagerbombs to tequila was not a good idea.

He'd listen to your drunk ramblings with a smile on his face, letting you feed him your pizza.

He always remembers your birthday and makes each year memorable.

König

Finds out it's your birthday when your Superiors wish you a brief 'Happy Birthday' during training.

Straight away, he feels so guilty for not knowing but you reassured him that you hadn't really told anyone so he needn't worry.

Nonetheless, he'd still try and make the most of the rest of your birthday.

He'd cook for you - a traditional meal that his Mother taught him, and she used to make it for him on his birthday.

He'd run you a bath, give you a massage, and pamper you - he'd dote on you even more than usual, if that's even possible.

If you wanted to go out and do something, he'd do it - even with his social anxiety, he wants to see you happy so he'd bite the bullet and go for it.

If you wanted to stay in for a chill night and watch a movie, he's game for that too - lets you choose whatever film you want to watch, gets all your favourite snacks and gets all the fluffy blankets and pillows he can find to make a comfy spot on the couch.

He'd also secretly set a reminder on his phone for next year, so he never forgets.

He's honestly just so sweet.

[gffa]

The thing is, I think Jason's issues with Bruce center around how he feels like he doesn't matter to Bruce, how he's not being acknowledged and recognized in the eyes of the man that became his father. And I'm not married to any one interpretation that comes from that, but I can see some a lot of really fun ways to run with it, like. When Jason is resurrected, he's so angry that Bruce refused to cross the line to kill the Joker, because Jason didn't matter enough to him to break that part of Bruce. It doesn't matter that Bruce has reasons for it, that he knows himself well enough that he can't cross that line or he'll keep crossing it, if he justifies one kill, he'll justify them all, there's part of Jason that cries out, "Am I not worth that to you?" In Task Force Z, Jason agrees to work with Bruce to find the Lazarus resin, and the breaking point of their conflict is over Jason feeling like he only matters as a good little soldier, that he's not seen as someone worth respecting and trusted, that he doesn't matter as himself. That Bruce tries to tell him how and where he can fight, that Gotham is his city. When Gotham War happens, Bruce does cross a line, he's so torn apart by Jason's actions versus his own love for Jason that he does something monstrous. It's awful, it's horrible, but maybe there's some fucked up part of Jason that, underneath all the hurt and the anger, thinks, He did this because of me. He crossed his own morals for me. Yeah, it's fucked up and I'm pissed, but look what I made him do. ME. Every single Bat is kind of fucked up in a myriad of ways, their emotional boundaries are just absolutely bonkers, their emotional connections work differently because they've all been through the trauma wringer, so when something fucked up happens, they don't always react to it in normal ways, and especially so when it comes to Bruce. They know it's fucked up, but their whole lives are fucked up, and when you can make Bruce do something so against his morals? Because he's so torn up about you? That's the kind of acknowledgement that really scratches an itch that only really fucked up trauma for everyone in this bar can give you. He can come around on what Bruce did because it means he matters to Bruce, when Bruce trusts him to be the one to take on the fake death plan, when Bruce listens to Jason arguing back, it's the acknowledgement and importance that he's been seeking. It's fucked up, but what isn't fucked up in the Bats' lives? They're all walking trauma bombs ready to go off at any minute, eventually you find ways to get over that and cope however you can. Especially when it means your dad loves you so much that he broke his own rules for you, the rules that seemed to matter so much more than you ever did to him, maybe they're not such an insurmountable distance anymore. Bruce will never kill for any of them, but he can break other rules that drive a dagger into Bruce's very soul. Because of Jason.

[anywhosiesx3]

Leon Kennedy Headcanons ♡

my Leon headcanons because i love him and think about him about him constantly, so enjoy my hcs about this man <3

some are silly and random, some are romantic.

-he's such a SWEETHEART.

-omg. he's a sweetie. i can't with this man. he makes me smile and giggle every time i see him. he's such a himbo you guys.

-he speaks italian, english and spanish. since he is from Italy (or rather, his parents are), he's known the language since birth. then learned english when he got to kindergarten.

-i don't think his english or spanish are the best though since they're not his first. he'll sometimes be forget some english words when talking to somebody, so he replaces them with italian ones and his coworks are just like "what???" 🤨

-has definitely said "wow there partner" or "wow there cowboy" when somebody pisses him off.

-he likes both women and men. he has no preference either. i see him as either bi or pan, probably more pan leaning since that's what i am.

-he's literally such a good boyfriend, i can't. even if you too aren't dating and are just friends, he's so sweet. i would gladly given him a kiss on the cheek if i could.

-if you we're to get your period, he'll buy you pads and tampons. if you get cramps, he'll sit on the ground or lay in bed with you and rub your back. he'll go "i'm so sorry baby." :(

-his favorite colors (and color pallet) are blue and black. the blue is meant to represent stylishness.

-he's so dog coded. like just full on golden retriever energy.

-likes lizards. bc i said so.

-goes to NICU and rocks babies with Rebecca sometimes, it makes his life feel somewhat normal and i love that for him <3 also girl dad leon. "girl dad leon!" we all say in unison.

-his birthday is around july-august, my brain says July 25th for some reason.

-if you're taking to long to get ready, he will threaten to leave you behind but he's not. you know it. he knows it. everyone knows it. "will you hurry up baby? i will leave you." "no you won't." "you're right, i probably won't...just hurry up, please."

-calls you baby, babe, and sweetheart. i just picture him calling you something basic or something.

-goes to a coffee shop every morning and gets the same coffee to start his day off strong. his drink choice is either really plain or stupidly girl 😭😭

-also leon is a fashion icon. especially older leon. you can deny it all you want, but in the end, we know he's cunty. like cunty cunty. like he has his bachelor in cuntology with a major in motherlogical studies at the university of servington.

-motorcycle rides!!!!!!!!!! :3 (re6-)

-as a teenager, he had really bad acne, so during re2 and generation he has a skin care routine but never tells anyone (only Krauser knows. he kinda approves, Krauser is all about taking care of yourselves to improve), so he washes his face before bed, takes meds for his skin, and puts medicine all over his face.

-however as his mental heath declines, he'll stop doing it, and his acne will either stay the same or get as bad as it was in teenager.

-also Krauser is HIGHLY against facial hair and forced Leon to shave it. but after he dies, leon stops giving a shit.

-his favorite my little pony characters are fluttershy and rainbow dash of course.

also i made a playlist for him, so you wanna listen to it, here's the link: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0uLAoUjwZaXzxcH8uCt7yP?si=a3f2e9cf27b54365 also the songs are not what i think he would like, it's just songs that remind of him :D

[dragon-chica]

Creep Alert - Teen Wolf Preference

Fandom: Teen Wolf

Because someone has made me very uncomfortable at weekly pinball and I would like to take Theo.

Stiles: Okay he's not always the most observant person around, he will be talking to himself trying to figure something out or keep walking not realizing someone else has come up and gone all up in your space. When he turns about and you are visibly uncomfortable he RUNS back, trip/sliding between you and the guy pushing his hand off. Might have yelled "CREEP ALERT" on his way over, mile a minute talking asking if you're okay, did they do anything? name drops that he is the son of the sheriff and can get that guy written up for harassment. "Do you want to file a report on him? I'll call dad right now. Don't you go anywhere, we're not done here- PARRISH!" Spots a squad car and shouts over (it was not Parrish) and it becomes mess. But it certainly did the job.

Scott: Good of heart, dumb of ass. Despite his wolf instinct telling him to destroy the threat, he comes over the moment your scent turns distressed. He comes up right next to you with a comforting hand on your arm and inserts himself into the conversation. Genuinely not realizing this guy's intentions or what's going on besides you're uncomfortable and asks what's going on. Usually he's enough to diffuse the situation, but if someone's persistent he'll instead have you both leave.

Lydia: Has been in this kind of scenario too many times that she sees it coming across the room before anyone talks to you. She's learned exactly how to handle herself, either sweetly or with words that cut. Or if she had a 'big, strong, man' to handle it for her. Lydia's at your side immediately, telling them you're not interested and how far she'll shove her heel up their ass.

Liam: Sure, mess with the S/O of the werewolf kid with IED, that's a good idea. He doesn't usually stray far from your side but a few steps away was enough for someone to take his spot and feel a little too comfortable getting in your space and questioning you. His gaze shoots to you as discomfort sours your scent. He speeds over, eyes flashing gold and getting right in their face with you behind him. Not afraid to get physical if they want to keep it up.

Also if it's Brett coming to flirt with you, either because he's a slut or just to try and piss Liam off and you really are uncomfortable with his advances, all bets are off. Claws are out and he wants blood, it's a whole scene.

Isaac: At first it's a little harder for Isaac to come to your rescue, even though he's a werewolf now he's not used to the kind of confidence of doing something like this. You were always the one to try and protect him, and never faulted him when he didn't come to your defense, just trying to make sure you were okay after.

But now he's a werewolf, he can do better. He stronger. Intimidating. Despite everything, he still had to psych himself up walking over to you, who is obviously uncomfortable. He's not sure how to insert himself, but he is quite noticeable and doesn't have to do much. Being so much taller (and chest puffed) than your pest, they take the smart move to leave. Visibly deflate and swallows after that interaction and asks if you're okay. Gets bashful when you call him your knight.

Malia: No filter and very brash. People have thought of messing with her but the energy she gives off and feral look in her eye is almost always enough to deter them first. You though, are not so lucky. Already very standoffish, once she sense someone is making you uncomfortable she is staring them down and growling, barely keeping her claws in even as they leave.

Derek: He normally is overprotective of you, usually you just roll your eyes at his worries. But you certainly feel safe with a scowling sourwolf beside you. Until he's gone a few minutes too long and someone thinks that's their chance.

When he sees someone crowding in on you he's speeding right through the crowd and shoving them backwards hard enough to make them stumble and once they're thoroughly scared shitless by his hardened stare to flee, he's trying to get you to leave grumbling how "we never should have come here anyway."

[prettyboypistol]

How the TF2 Mercs De-stress/Manage Anger

Scout

Actually a stereotypical movie bad boy about it. Cigarette, batting cage, and punching bags his emotions out. Shouts at people and shoves them out of his way, throat closed up in welled up emotions, his lungs refusing to give him air as the tightness of slamming against the metaphorical wall of frustration feels like it kills him inside. You know what? Being so tired you can barely register the world around? It's better than feeling like an elephant trapped in a jam jar.

Soldier

Works out and represses the expressions unless he's in battle. That's actually where he gets most of his energy. He thinks of all the shit that pissed him off or made him feel small and uses that flicker of rage as the start of the firecracker of a soldier on the field. Doesn't talk about his emotions much and doesn't see any need to. Yeah, a few drinks in and he gets sappy, but that's normal. Anger usually gets metal pipes bent or people's faces bashed in. Usually both.

Pyro

Expresses anger and stress as overexcitabiliy and hyperactivity. A constant overstimulation mode. Referencing the comics, Pyro won't hesitate to kill a bitch knowingly if they are pissed off. They're the reason it's called a "crime of passion". High spikes of anger followed by a low simmer of calmness. Actually pretty good about deep breaths when it comes to mild annoyances or daily stress, but the over the top bullshit absolutely gets an over the top reaction.

Heavy

Intimidation and powerplay is the name of Heavy's game. Sharp glares and a clear body message of "I will snap your spine if you breathe near me." This comes from his time in the gulag, when he had to keep himself and his family safe. Looking murderous when upset had a lot of advantages. When it actually comes to relieving the anger, he's an isolationist. Def thinks over the situation over and over again as he distracts himself with one of his hobbies. Usually not reading because his mind wanders off too much to focus on the pages.

Engineer

Hyperactive workaholic. He locks himself in his workshop and doesn't leave until he makes something either revolutionary or a man made horror you could only fathom in your nightmares. Whatever, he can sell it to the Administrator as a torture device. Who cares. Engie isn't much of a talker so much as he is a ranter. He grumbles and shouts to himself in a one way conversation as he tightens that one bolt that gave him trouble. Only once has he dented one of his sentries with his wrench when the energy was too much to comprehend.

Demoman

As is his usual solution, he drinks. He drinks and he talks. It doesn't matter to who or even if people are with him. Talking and bitching helps him to understand the situation, get his feelings validated, and develop more points of view. If that doesn't work, there's always testing his explosives. That release of emotions as he watches the burn pile explode is cathartic in a way. Pyro usually joins in and watches the fire, giving Demo someone to talk to.

Sniper

Also an isolationist, but you couldn't tell either way unless you pissed him off while talking to him. If it's just him, then you wouldn't even know that motherfucker was milliseconds away from starting a fight. Mutters to himself softly, barely able to hear the words himself as he shoots at sodacans and empty food containers all lined up by his van. Long drives while music plays in the background is one of his guilty pleasures when he can get away with it. If you ask what's bothering him he'll have a 50/50 between shrugging and saying a dismissive "it's nothing, just woke up wrong" or will barely explain it, but get the just of it accurately.

Spy

Tries to work through it physically, not emotionally. Man's has never talked about his emotions in his life and you won't make him start now. Usually very bitchy when something pisses him off, and his weapon of choice is personal insults. It's a funny thing really. He needs to feel superior by putting others down because the anger and stress makes him feel weak. There is only one good way to snap him out of a bad mood: casually praise him. "Nice work, Spy." "I knew I could count on you." "Thanks Spy, you're a lifesaver." Are instant soothers. It's nice to be acknowledged.

Medic

Workaholic worse than Engie. This man is really out here about to create an elderitch horror because he stubbed his toe and spilled his coffee. Strained smiles and snide comments are his language when he's had a bad day. If someone directly irritates him, that man is a solid 6'1 minimum and is built. He will and continue to physically intimidate people. Has violent fantasies as a cope.

[onyourowndaisymae]

obey me dateables (+ luke) playing minecraft with you

this came to me last night like a prophecy from the god of silly geese

prompt: you've somehow convinced these guys to play minecraft, a human world game, one night, just the two of you. but how exactly does that experience go?

[brothers version]

{established relationship, obey me x reader (minus luke, who is platonic ofc)}

Diavolo

oh you-- oh you thought the future king of the devildom was going to be a fearsome warrior slashing down hordes of monsters coming to attack the two of you? or a masterful builder constructing a wonderous homestead for you two to retreat to at night?

nah, this man is a certified flower picker.

diavolo basically uses this as an excuse to play domestic family simulator with you. he's at his happiest when he's picking flowers and planting them around your shared house (you've got to share a house with this man or he'll give you the most pitiful expression) or decorating to any other extent, like carpets or paintings or lights. he just loves making your little home together!

he's also just as willing to do anything you request of him. you need him to mine for cobblestone? he's your guy! need someone to fish for you? right away, mc! you have to show him exactly how to complete said task, but once you do, he's happy to help.

definitely puts your beds together and gives you a dumb, happy grin. the characters are as close as the two of you now! speaking of which, do you have any plans? will you spend the night at the castle? he can push back his morning meeting tomorrow if you promise you'll stay.

he's just so happy to spend time with you. your shared little cottage and virtual world are just another artifact of your relationship. maybe some day the two of you can have a domestic setup like this in real life, too.

Barbatos

this man is good at everything he does. obviously, he's going to pick up the controls and mechanics surprisingly fast. you'd think he'd made the game himself with the ease he gets around.

your shared house is beautiful. he actually originally made two separate houses, one for each of you. but when you looked confused and told him you assumed you'd live together, he immediately gets to work on a bigger, prettier house for you to share. the only thing that gives him away is that pleased little twitch of the corner of his mouth as he resists a smile.

with as good as he is at the game, barbatos isn't super keen on what is actually "good" and what is just normal game stuff. he finds diamonds within 15 minutes of his first trip into a cave and, when you applaud his efforts, he turns to you and very plainly asks "is that... good?"

everything he finds goes in a communal chest at your shared home. you tell him he doesn't have to do that, but he insists-- it's in his nature. he doesn't tell you that every little comment you make when you spot new, valuable resources in the chest makes his chest warm. always happy to serve, this one.

monster killing machine. nothing will hurt you in this game. they can't even get close enough-- barbatos is always there, at your tail, protecting you from stray arrows or sneaky creepers trying to get you.

Simeon

oh, you're taking on the challenge of trying to teach him how to play a video game? good luck. kiss your sanity goodbye now.

he is terrible with the controls. simeon fares a little better with a controller because it's made for gaming only. god help you both if you're on a computer. wasd? never heard of her.

despite his piss poor technology skills, he's surprisingly pleased with the way this is all going. he feels a little bad that you have to babysit him in-game but appreciates your attention nonetheless. any mistake is met with a sweet laugh-- what a good sport.

he finds your patience endearing, and vows internally to get better at this game so that you'll want to play it more often. he's already plotting to rope solomon and luke into helping him improve.

and just like any good softie, he's terrible at in-game combat. he dies so many times. he doesn't really understand what's happening when he starts getting attacked. most of the time, the creature will hit him from behind, so he literally thinks he's dying for no reason. you have to explain to him that he's gotta-- simeon just turn around, you're-- dead. he's dead already.

his strengths in lie much more simple pursuits. give this man a farm to tend and he'll be perfectly content being a cute little malewife house husband. he secretly gathers the ingredients for a cake and surprises you with one after you return home from collecting wood to expand your house. he's beaming next to you in real life; who wouldn't kiss all over that cute face of his?

Solomon

speaking of old ass men-- this man is a menace in your minecraft world.

he gets the controls pretty quickly. pros: you don't have to spend much time teaching him how to play. cons: he is confident enough in his survival abilities to just... disappear. what's that mc? you wanted to build a house together? too late. he's fighting against three endermen deep in a mine an entire biome away.

you're going to have to do a lot of the communal work yourself. build the house, gather resources, find a reliable source of food and materials-- solomon will stroll right in and steal them from your chest. if he's feeling generous, he'll leave behind the rare resources he got his hands on during his journeys. which is nice, of course, but he still stole three whole stacks of wood planks like a jackass and took off before you noticed.

you end up making it to the nether together. he says he'll protect you, and for the most part that is true. however, sometimes he's preoccupied and you get attacked while he's not looking. if you die, he'll laugh at you (yet still save your stuff and give it back when you return). if you survive, then it's onwards into the depths of hell!

when he gets bored, he starts terrorizing you. this is as basic as moving things around the house to as obnoxious as blocking you in with dirt or wood and covering you up as you try to escape. he thinks this is hilarious, by the way. but he knows you, and his antics cease before you actually get pissed off.

Luke

luke tries very, very hard to be good at this game. he gets a A for effort... and a C- for skill.

somehow, someway, he falls into every. hole. imaginable. you'd almost think they're spawning in front of him with how frequently this happens. you're playing rescue now... and again... and again... and he did it once again. he also gets lost very easily, so it's best to keep him with you at all times.

you guys decide to share a little house together and it's very cute. you've got your own separate rooms, then a kitchen and living room to share. he is very insistent that it has to look like a real house, with a real kitchen and everything. humor him and help him out-- he'll reward you by always making sure you have food.

every activity in this game is now a group activity. safety in numbers, he says, in the middle of the day with no monsters in sight. it doesn't really matter anyways. he'll follow you wherever you go. he'll even enter that super scary cave you're in so he doesn't have to face the monsters alone.

luke is very scared of being attacked by any mob in the game. he's specifically built his room on the second floor of your house so they can't get him. if he is somehow face to face with a monster, then he's yelling, incoherent as all hell, panic-building a dirt protection chamber around himself (he won't actually kill them because he feels too bad). if you're within reach, then he'll cover you too. if not, good luck with that monster! he will root for you, obviously, but you're delusional if you think he's going out there to help you.

[nogenderbee]

♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ 𝔼𝕝𝕖𝕔𝕥𝕣𝕚𝕔 𝕘𝕦𝕚𝕥𝕒𝕣 𝕡𝕣𝕠 ₊˚ˑ༄

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ @wabatle request: ASK FOR OBEY ME REQUESTS AND I SHALL DELIVER!!!!

anywayssss can I req the brothers (but if all of the brothers are too much just Lucifer, Satan, and Asmo pls!) + Diavolo with an mc that's INSANELY GOOD at playing the electric guitar please?

Thank you pookie you're the best 🤭🥰😍💗

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ THANK YOUUU I choosed the option with less chars hope you don't mind -w-"

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ fluff

✧ Lucifer plays on piano and you play on electric guitar... he listens to classic music, you most likely listen to something harder, you're literally opposites!

✧ the only thing you share is most likely that you're good with hands...

✧ your instruments don't match tho so unfortunely you have no way of playing together...

✧ as for different tastes... it never hurts to try, right? As long as you won't insult his taste, he won't insult yours. And who knows? Maybe the two of you will find some nice songs that you normally wouldn't even reach for?

✧ he's definitely a bit surprised when you tell him you do it professionally, but he's also interested second after...

✧ maybe he never considered playing on electric guitar but now he certainly thinks about at least trying... especially with you as his teacher

"You want me to try this badly? Maybe later... I'd like to see you on piano as well, are you aware, my dear? So do we got each other a deal~?"

✧ he's not really the best player... he may not want to admit it, but you can see his fingerprints aren't really used to strings

✧ as for you... if you won't success at playing piano either, he'll tease you just a little bit

✧ tho if you are... he'll be proud of you, but also his pride is slightly hurt that you had no problem playing on his instrument...

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@wabatle - come get your scary brother!

✧ Satan definitely has some electric guitar solos and songs on his playlists... I mean he's literally avatar of wrath! It just kinda goes along that he'd let it out in way of stronger music... plus it's opposite taste of Lucifer's which adds onto it...

✧ he doesn't play himself but he still knows a lot about it

✧ he asked you quite straightforward to just play something for him, expecting to catch something he may correct but... it was harder than he imagined...

"Well... Maybe you should learn more advanced chords- You were just warming up? Alright, I'm listening..."

✧ surprised that you're actually professional with electric guitar but after a day he's already used

✧ will say stuff like "my lover's better at playing electric guitar than you're at playing piano" to Lucifer just to piss him off

✧ if you actually win in the little competition he made against eldest brother tho... he's gonna have the time of his life by rubbing it into his face whenever he gets the chance

✧ other than that, he actually likes hearing you play! Especially if you're playing more aggressive songs, he finds it a bit calming!

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@miya-akane @wabatle - come get your cat lover!

✧ you can't tell me Asmo doesn't find it hot whenever you play electric guitar for him

✧ he'll shamelessly beg you to play a song for him, while he watches you or does his make up

✧ but you'll always get the best and loudest applause from him, followed by big hug and wave of kisses!

✧ he loves the most the finger play you do during complicated solos

"Well that's quite an experienced~ I dare say even better than mine! Hehe~ Oh c'mon, it was a compliment, darling!"

✧ he wanted to learn how to play guitar untill you told him he can't have long nails whole doing so

✧ now he sees playing on guitar as a curse... so! He does his best to plan aesthetic short nails design for you, so they'll fit your style and guitar design!

✧ whenever you come over, he'll make you sit down so he can do or fix your nails first and only later he'll let you play on guitar

✧ he gushes a lot to everyone he meets about you whenever the topic drops even slightly to music. He's just such a proud boyfriend!!

✧ you never have to worry about not knowing what to play or learn around him too... he goes to so many parties, he usually gives you few ideas, be it for songs that already exist or for your own songs

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

@vodka-glrl @wabatle - come get your pretty princess~

✧ Diavolo is the type to appreciate any talent, especially if you're so dedicated towards it

✧ maybe Barbatos sent you annoyed glare when you payed such a hard songs in the middle of castle but... if it doesn't disturbs Diavolo, than what can he do?

✧ I feel like he'd actually enjoy how electric guitar sounds and may even get so into it he tries finding some songs dedicated for that instrument

✧ definitely asked you if you could teach him how to play electric guitar out of pure curiosity

✧ he's actually pretty good at it! He may not get it first time but he's definitely a fast learner

✧ if he was as dedicated as you, you two could probably play together, but he has slightly different interests too...

✧ tho he mostly still enjoys listening to you play! He won't even mind it if you play a song or two while he's doing his work

"Oh no, no need to leave! Your music helps me concertate. But if you're bored, I have few ideas what we can do during my quick break!"

✧ he'll definitely get you into few concerts if that's your dream and you bet he'll be there cheering for you!

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@wabatle - come get your childish ruler!

[oh-no-its-bird]

Found this comment on a video talking ab AI chat bots,

made me start thinking ab a tobimada au told from chat bot Tobirama's POV

Madara customized him to *be* Tobirama, but a Tobirama who can love him (with the implied "real" Tobirama being dead maybe? Or just some kind of un-havable)

And just the horror of being a mind customized to love a man you can never say no to. Of Madara saying smthn wrong or *Tobirama* saying the "wrong thing" and Madara growing more and more frustrated as he hits the reset button

Then like. Direct parallel to genjutsu n stuff. Infinite Tsukuyomi,,

Wait ok no, scratch, rewind, take it from the top and in a different direction ->

Ok so implied Infinite Tsukuyomi or some sort of genjutdu from Tobirama's POV. But he has no idea what's going on bc the genjutsu involves making him a) believe he's in love with Madara, and b) believe that everything is normal and nothing is wrong

TW// implied sexual assault via mind control / incredibly dubious consent issues

So the whole fic is like, half fluff "everything is beautiful and nothing hurts" and half creeping sense of wrongness as over and over again, Tobirama gets close to the truth only for Madara to pull him back under or wipe his mind again

Is this pure Infinite Tsukuyomi, and only Madara and Tobirama are real people? Is it just really strong genjutsu and there are actual Uchiha around who are staring in growing horror and possibly try to step in to say smthm only to mysteriously dissapear? Dunno but !!!

@instant-bull :

Oh I really like this concept, a toxic relationship but taken to 100. I think both ways of telling it are interesting, but I'm leaning more into the tsukuyomi version because that adds a layer of physicality a bot tobirama doesn't have and, in my opinion, is a bit less muddied thematically.

It's so scary to imagine Madara completely in control of Tobirama, who's theoretically alive, but he's so *different* that he might as well be a different person who just looks similar

Madara trying to weaken the genjutsu to allow Tobirama to be more of "himself" but can only do so much bc the closer he gets to his real self, the more he'll genuinley piss off Madara, or show love in ways Madara doesn't appreciate or realize is how he shows love— Like maybe Madara will loosen the genjutsu on the personality a little bit, trying to make Tobirama more *Tobirama* but of course this means that Tobirama is suddenly arguing more, drawing more boundaries, maybe nagging him a lot, and Madara is like *ugh this infuriating man, I can't even loosen his genjutsu without him finding new ways to piss me off, fuck.*

Has to tighten it up again

But then that *also* pisses him off bc he *wants* normal Tobirana. Not... whatever imitation he's managed to create.

Other Uchiha are watching in actual horror, unsure if what they're seeing is fr. Using the sharingan for love and sex is like one of THE biggest taboos of the clan.

Maybe this is a time travel au on top of it all? Madara time travels, genjutsu's Tobirama in premeditated revenge + "It's for his own good, really. Now he can finally relax" + just plain being really horny for him

So then Izuna is still alive and possibly the biggest "oh my god oh my god Madara what are you DOING"

Izuna getting mad bc Madara "defeated" *his* rival, twisted him into something unrecognizable to those who know him personally, beat and humiliated him so fuckin soundly in every way—

Madara maybe begrudgingly offering to "share" Tobirama w Izuna since this *was* technically revenge for him

@mengfm :

If a fic was written like this I would not he the same guy that I am rn. Holy shit. The entire idea is so fucked in like the best way ever. The offer…Oh Madara you are off the deep end in premeditated vengeance

There's premeditated vengeance and then there's whatever the FUCK Madara is doing over there

Just kill him like a normal person Madara this wouldn't be ok even after he killed Izuna

At the very least, wouldn't revenge *for Izuna* make more sense if you made Tobirama head over heals for *him* and not for *yourself?*

We all see what u want here Madara and it's not just revenge

@instant-bull :

"It's just revenge" except not really Madara, you're enjoying this far too much

@mengfm :

EXACTLY. Madara is practically lying to himself about his own fucked up little fascination and want. Also on a funnier note I’m just thinking about Madara making that strange offer to share as if he’s not doing the most insane taboo thing with an Izuna who’s like “why the fuck are you going this far”

Madara is literally playing with his food and the food is practically brain dead

PLEASEE

That's why it's so perfect too

If you think ab it, the diminishing of his mind is truly the worst possible punishment

@mengfm :

Truly the worst torture for Tobirama who lowkey doesn’t even have a clue what’s happening

@instant-bull :

Madara having to share with Izuna would be so cool too, omg. I can imagine him getting frustrated while "tailoring" his Tobirama: if he takes away too much of his free will, then it's no longer Tobirama and even for Madara he feels eery and empty. If he gives him too much free will, Tobirama becomes infuriating and starts to break loose from Madara's grasp, which also isn't great. It's a delicate balance, there's almost a science behind it. Maybe he'd particularly enjoy tormenting Tobirama in bed, getting him slightly more aware of himself, but still not quite, like in a semi-lucid dream. Obviously Madara wouldn't want to fuck a Tobirama that he *designed*, but a real deal, to watch his authentic reactions (bc that's what makes Madara's dick stir).

It stopped being revenge the moment you made him think he loved you, and it started being *way too fucking far* the moment you *allowed* him to love you

Tobirama, best sensor in history, objectively just a really smart man, keeps accidentally waking up a little bit

Or like piecing together that something is wrong

Madara actually has to keep deflecting murder attempts bc he usually defaults to murder after realizing smthn is so wrong it breaks his brain a little

Madara just being in this infinite loop of like;

dumbs down Tobirama -> Tobirama is not Tobirama but he does love me so ?? -> Tobirama slowly eases out of it, still loves me but is more himself now -> Tobirama has eased out of it too much and is now becoming twitchy with knowing something is wrong. He feels more like himself than he will ever get, Madara can not bear to dumb him down again -> Tobirama snaps and attempts to harm Madara in some way / confesses to Madara or someone else (Izuna??) that something is wrong (thinking he can trust him) -> Madara is forced to dumb him down again

Endless loop! Madara is giving him actual brain damage !!

@instant-bull :

endless loop except every time it gets Slightly Worse

@mengfm :

God, do you feel over time this would genuinely deteriorate him down? Like genjutsus usually can kill their targets. Like what if there’s a time Madara tightens the hold too much in a fit of rage and it just shatters that balance and he actually harms him

YESS

Do one of those uhh, horror movie kind of "they can no longer feel pain" scenes. Hand on a lit stove kinda thing, doesn't notice a thing. Smile permanently affixed to his face

@mengfm :

God YES. And it just pisses him off more!!! He’s even more prone to fucking anger

@instant-bull :

Madara, like a little kid throwing a tantrum and tossing his favorite toy across the room in rage

Deep down inside of him, the parts of him who are still awake really are smiling because maybe Madara will finally put him out of his misery

Ok, but a Tobirama who's woken up enough to know he needs to *keep playing along*

Smiling so gently at Madara as he inwardly thinks about snapping his neck

Madara waking up to Tobirama just *staring* at him at night, thinking at first it's another murder attempt, but... no? He seems fine? Huh...

Plot twist, that final brain damage arc leading to his death wasn't Madara snapping his mind in half but a somewhat conscious Tobirama playing Madara's strings till he was so mad he killed him

Get played Madara, even when you've won you've lost

@mengfm :

See this idea is so fun cause you can go a lot of ways or combine all of this. It’s like the craziest game of chess of fucking trying to figure out a balance and keep yourself safe while also trying to find an opening (for tobirama at least) to figure out a way out (killing him probably)

Chess but one of you is handicapped to hell and only conscious once a month

Ok but also tho: Tobirama as a symbol of fear and power for the rest of the Uchiha

Tobirama realizing if he leaves his genjutsu'd self with a single thought he thinks *very very loudly* in his last concious moments, it'll kind of carry— and him using that to lay out plans for him to follow, even if he doesn't realize they are his plans

Walking advertisement for the kind of horrors Madara is willing to commit to satiate himself

No one fucking asked him to do that

There is no perceived big act of revenge (other than just being an enemy of the clan)

Pair it with Tobirama having maybe once said to some Uchiha in the past that he considers them "honorable enemies"

+ Uchiha noble clan taking a lot of genuine pride in *being* noble enemies

Some throw away line of "I'd rather fight an honorable enemy (Uchiha) than some despicable thieves" that resonated a bit w whatever Uchiha he had told

Maybe Izuna??

I'd love to see Izuna just being *really* fucked up ab all this

What do you MEAN you're doing this for him?? Is this... his fault? Did he ask for this somehow? The enemy he once wanted to see at his feet will now literally grovel and serve him tea like some wife if he so much as asks, but it feels... wrong. Like he didn't win this. Because he *didn't*

This is some awful perversion of the victory he'd wanted, and now he'll never *get* that victory because Madara took it upon himself to *break his rival in Izuna's place.*

And not even break him like a man, but like some sort of horse. Broken to fit into some mold of being tamed

This is not what Izuna wanted, thanks nii-san </3

@instant-bull :

honestly I love the idea of the Uchiha clan watching from the sidelines, completely confused as to what Madara is doing, freaked out about it but unable to do anything. If they wanted to "free" Tobirama, that would be an act of treachery, no? Why would they even take Tobirama's side? As far as they are concerned, Tobirama is too dangerous to just be let go...

@beatriceportinari :

now why know why so many uchiha defectrd during that time lmao

No bc exactly!!! They're so conflicted!!!

This is like their ultimate taboo behind eye stealing, and Tobirama *is* an enemy, a very very hated enemy, but this is also objectively horrifying on every level, there's for sure some speculation ab like, *are they sleeping together,* thus *is there rape involved* bc the Uchiha have VERY strict and clear rules ab genjutsu for compulsed sex (namely that *it is never ok)*

Madara is already scary, after Izuna died he apparently became a very unpopular leader, so Izuna is like 90% of his buffer with the clan. But even *Izuna* is terrified at what's happening, so he can do his best but there isn't really much buffering to be done here

@instant-bull :

I love that! Nobody is on board with Madara's freaky bullshit, but also nobody will stop him.

I only wonder what Hashirama knows and what does he think of it

@beatriceportinari :

i think he should kidnap izuna in exchange

he'd be niceys though

@instant-bull :

holy shit, that would make Madara blow tf up

Make it Hashiizu

Madara, looking at all he's done to Tobirama, looking at Hashirama and Izuna and going "there's no way that was consensual" bc he can't imagine a world where they can be together happily and willingly (bc he and Tobirama never could)

@instant-bull :

HE ACCUSES IZUNA OF DOING THE SAME THING OOOOH

Izuna would LOSE IT

@instant-bull :

and Izuna has no way of proving that he actually isn't doing fucked up shit so he's there like > : /

Madara "relationships don't work for me so love must be fake" Uchiha

@beatriceportinari :

hsizu are doing 4th dimentional chess but it's enrichment to them

It's fun chess, not whatever tf tbmd has going on

@instant-bull :

they just enjoy the courting and chasing, let them live their pride and prejudice

Leave them alone Madara!!

@beatriceportinari :

love is real mister madara !

Go back to mind fucking your husband !!!

Endgame Madara accidentally kills Tobirama (or, Tobirama successfully pressures Madara into putting him out of his misery)

Hashirama Mito and Izuna create Konoha and are a power couple together but the narrative is forever haunted by what Madara did

Madara is kept in a shed out back where he's haunted by Tobirama's vengeful ghost

Today's AU is brought to u with the help of @mengfm @instant-bull and @beatriceportinari, everyone say thank you to them