#prob just gonna dump the rest of the headcanons in one post but who knows

[spring-lxcked]

Disgusting bastard sinday hours here we come, starting with the funniest one first.

William is absolutely, unshockingly into praise. That's not to say he's opposed to deprecation in bed (he's definitely into that in certain relationship dynamics), but praise is definitely the easiest way to drive him up the wall. Even outside of the bedroom, someone he's attracted to (genuinely) singing his praises is a turn-on.

[illegiblewords]

The Drawing Continues...

Meanwhile though, very small general FFXIV post.

- I have seen small indications that there are Emet-Selch/WoL shippers who, for want of a romantic antagonist, miiiight be taking a “LAHABREA IS A SLEAZY MONSTER” route. I hope this isn’t true because 1) Clearly Lahabrea is a simple workaholic loser explosion enthusiast don’t do him dirty that way :’< 2) LBR if any of the convocation or just Ascians in general were gonna be sleazy it’s fuckin’ Nabriales lmao. I have some affection for him too after writing the guy but honestly he is a little bitch just let him follow his sleazy little bitch dreams and achieve the credit he deserves.

- I am still fic outlining a bit for my misadventure in Emet-Selch/WoL shipping and I have discovered the price of a happy ending might involve a grown man making a child cry lmao. Also, kind of want to do an AU short based on the story of Tam Lin but I have too many plates spinning right now.

- I’m so happy that people are jumping on the AU train lol, but it made me pause and ask myself wtf my AU would be. High school is so cliche/classic that it would probably be fun to think about but I would take so many notes from the lunch table cliques post that was circulating a while back. So probably what I would propose would be more like company AU.

Amaurot Inc. was a very successful business that was run by a board of fourteen and owned by Zodiark, who kept them from going under during a period of financial termoil that sent a ton of competitors out of business. It hit a point where they were worried the entire industry would collapse, and the only reason that was avoided came through a horrifying number of layoffs. The Fourteenth board member quit early on in the crisis and later shows up with Sunder Corp as Zodiark and the heads of Amaurot struggle to create a new work model. The work model would involve hiring a lot of new employees, training them to excellence so that the company could thrive again, then downsizing massively to rehire the fewer but more skilled workers who had previously been let go. Hydaelyn is head of Sunder Corp. and consider this practice highly unethical, decide to buy out Amaurot Inc. and just replace staff with a bunch of new hires so there can be a fresh start without this weird revolving door policy. Only three board members escape the purge while the rest languish in unemployment.

The Warrior of Light inherits the position at Sunder-Amaurot Corp. and was trained by the Fourteenth board member, but is basically fresh to the position. The remaining three board members from Amaurot Inc. have collaborators who were trained by their now-sacked former colleagues, but they feel that this entire situation is a huge step down from what they originally envisioned. They all feel like sellouts after pouring their hearts and souls into this company, and would rather find a way to overthrow current management and downsize after all to have what they consider higher quality work... even if it means lower production and tons of employees are fired in the process. WoL and the Scions, who are the highest ranking employees at Sunder-Amaurot Corp., are aware of this sentiment but can’t easily fire the remaining Amaurot Inc. employees/sympathizers themselves. Emet-Selch’s involvement with the Scions comes from basically him getting pissed off and challenging the Scions/WoL to prove that the new company actually cares and produces comparably high quality work to the original Amaurot Inc. Lahabrea works in PR with Elidibus but gets switched to a more backseat role and eventually fired because he lives on caffeine and fumes, which eventually results in a massive scandal. He ends up at some Ishgardian restaurant as a waiter after that, getting ripped apart by the owner Thordan on a regular basis. Nabriales toes the line of being considered guilty of sexual harassment in the workplace and gets successfully sacked by the WoL after a complaint is lodged by both Moenbryda and Minfilia. Unfortunately, Moenbryda decided to quit around the same time—much to the dismay of her colleagues, particularly Urianger.

I could probably go into more detailed headcanons for like, wtf happened with Alphinaud and the Crystal Braves, Tataru being the real power behind the throne despite her position technically being secretary, Gaius being some kind of inspector who prides himself on rooting out shady business practices and firing those responsible... Zenos is prob the son of a rival company owner who doesn’t give a shit about the service at all but loves corporate bullshit and is literally just in this business to wreak havoc. People think he’s in it to expand wealth for his family or at least because he doesn’t understand what being broke is like, but the reality is he could live in a shack and be fine with it. He literally just likes fucking with people and this is a job where he gets paid to do that. Technically Emet-Selch is responsible for this rival company and still has a lot of influence there but the owner Varis thinks that is total bullshit and just wants to fuck over everything at Sunder-Amaurot Corp. to run things his way.

Meanwhile stupid office drama. Thancred and Emet-Selch are equally likely to steal each other’s lunch out of the fridge on a given day. Emet-Selch started it and Thancred decided to mirror the behavior as revenge. Unfortunately for Thancred Emet-Selch likes dangerously spicy food so there is something hollow in his victories. Y’shtola (among other things) runs the intern program with affection and a scathing sense of humor. They all love her but after her chat with Magnai no one tries to mess around. Intern Runar has a massive crush on her. Alisaie was reluctant to join because she felt like she’d turn into a suit, but after a night of drinking and partying with the WoL coupled with probably-drunk conversations about being a company for the little guy, she decided to give it a go. After all, if she knows what to watch out for and had a position of influence she can keep things ethical from within. Urianger works IT and no one knows what he’s even saying like 80% of the time. Rumor has it he started dumping technical jargon to impress fellow-nerd Moenbryda but he never stopped after she left.

And so on lol. Just FFXIV but The Office.