#(technically i didn't even make this one
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i will never understand how people have the heart to hate Jason even after they found out that his Ambrosia tastes like fucking sawdust. Ambrosia being tasty is like one single happy thing a demigod can have despite their tragic lives, because it reminds them of the home they once had, but lost. And Jason doesn't even have that, he doesn't even have a home to lose in the first place.
#He didn't even get the bare minimum of anything#what the fuck I'm bawling#json grace haters who make false claims about his character trying to villianize him go fuck yourselves I'm serious#genuinely y'all make so mad so DNI on my lage#hating a character is fine but outright making false claims about his actions to manipulate others into jumping on the hate train aswell??#how could you despise him with this knowledge. “because he tried replacing perc-” shut the fuck up if that's the reason#It was technically jason who was so quickly replaced in camp Jupiter after his sheer 11 years of hardwork#but oh no it's completely fine that no one in cj sent a search party after him and only jason gets the blame for landing in chb#I will never forget the part of the fandom who tried to convince me that Jason was a bad character who deserved to die.#pjo#pjo fandom#percy jackson#pjo hoo#pjo series#jason grace#pjo hoo toa#annabeth chase#piper mclean#leo valdez
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THE KARATE KID (1984) / COBRA KAI (2018-2025)
#daniel larusso#kenny payne#johnny lawrence#anthony larusso#robby keene#terry silver#cobra kai#bro the parallels are insane#daniel and kenny not even sharing one scene together is a crime#not me now realizing 'lia' is just 'ali' rearranged 💀#i didn't add the arcade one because that was technically a daniel > robby parallel but it also kinda counts imo#i like how daniel hesitates on the apology because a part of him (probably) believes johnny deserves that#vs kenny who stutters while saying 'shit' because he clearly didn't mean to do that#i 100% believe kenny won't go to ~the dark side in part 2 and kenthony will do what lawrusso can't seem to!!! MAKE PEACE!!!#IN THIS ESSAY I WILL
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OCtober day 3 - old OC 🍖
eusi is my fantasy life character from like 11-12 years ago! she's a mercenary who loves fighting, money and meat!
she is insufferable ❤️
#2024#bweirdoctober2024#bweirdoctober#oc-tober#day 3#art#fan characters#my art#my ocs#fantasy life 3ds#fantasy life#eusi#(<- she/her)#also booze and flirting ofc. she is like the perfect image of a sleazy mercenary. a very scummy vibe overall kdmf#posting this one late today but it's not midnight yet so it counts!#honestly eusi represents a lot of what i like in characters today#green hair... red eyes... annoying/strong women...#and most importantly: incredibly bisexual#i didn't even know back then and i still managed to make the most bisexual oc on the planet fndnd#she is also technically a god. i have like over 200hrs on that save#anyway she's very important to me#this is v sticker sheet looking so it'd b nice to draw her more properly at some point too 🤔#also! v excited for fantasy life 2‼️#tempted to bring her back but i'll probably make a new OC bc i love making a billion characters ig >v<
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i am not usually interested in dramatically canon-divergent scenarios because the canon story is what compels me, but i've been obsessed with this moment ever since i re-heard it during my second viewing. from the perspective of someone who already finished the story once and now knows the truth - this was wild.
WHAT IF?
#naruto#naruto manga#pan watches naruto#team ro#WHAT was itachi thinking#i mean it's clear that he makes this 'change of plan' because he's taken aback/alarmed by how much kakashi knows#and my assumption is he wants to find out where kakashi got this intel#but for real WHAT was his long-term plan?#it is no secret that i am obsessed with the kakashi-itachi dynamic and like. this is just wild to me#especially given the timing - hiruzen just died so like. does itachi even have a contact in the village anymore?#is it *danzo*? seems nuts but.#if it is then this plan is insane. danzo doesn't love kakashi but he does respect him highly as a shinobi/an asset to the village#and i absolutely do not think he'd be willing to let itachi sacrifice a piece that powerful#was itachi just going to keep quiet about this if/when the Leaf asked where their most renowned jonin went? was he going to LIE about it?#or does the fact that hiruzen is dead mean that itachi *doesn't* have a contact in the village he trusts anymore#(hence him showing up immediately after hiruzen dies just to remind the Other Three that he's still out there)#except he didn't expect kakashi to sniff him out INSTANTLY and now he's taking him captive because...???#i don't know why#to torture him until he reveals his intel source and then kill him?#except itachi DOESN'T want to kill kakashi. that's established.#'why not just kill me? if he wanted to...he could.'#that's canon and it's GREAT and i love looking back at that very early line from much later on#knowing it's one of the pieces that clicks into place for kakashi when he's considering whether or not madara's story could be true#but anyway. itachi DOESN'T want to kill kakashi.#but if he takes him captive and doesn't want to kill him - then what???#there aren't any good answers for this because honestly i don't know that itachi's entire backstory had been planned yet#(like i think i read somewhere that kishimoto knew itachi was technically on the villlage's side from the beginning)#(but i'm not sure if all the details had been established)#in any case i remain FASCINATED
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Some Venus ideas
seriously debating on adding Venus to FW so here's some early designs. (like i'm not sure i'll keep the eyebrow marks, they look kinda funky at times). Mostly b/c them having another sister would be adorable. And it would piss Draxum off, which would be hilarious (for reasons i'll explain.)
some more about her under the cut. But it's mostly just random brainstorming i did at 3am
18 yo (3 years older than Raph)
Mutated Ornate Wood Turtle (using some of Lou's DNA.) (so no spider traits.)
Technically their Half sister since Big Mama's not her mother. (not that that will stop Mama from mothering her. She'd get her own room in the hotel and everything : ) )
Was mutated 'first' to test the mutagen.
She was 5 when the boys were mutated.
Venus got misplaced during resulting explosion. eventually found and taken in by the Library Bats. Which is exactly what pisses off Draxum b/c he knows exactly where she is but the bats refuse to give her back to him lol. And no one messes with the bats. (he's got thrown into the kiddy room several times for trying lol)
she's very quiet, shy, and very anxious about and unsure how to socialize with people in general. (✨social anxiety✨)
I don't think she's much of a fighter. like at all. Pretty sure the only way she would fight would be mystics (ie standing in the back taking magic missile esc pot shots wizard style.) she might actually be more of a pacifist than anything. I'm getting the feeling that she wants little to do with fighting or violence personally. Like she wouldn't judge her siblings on it, but she doesn't want to participate. (the only exception being that if someone/thing is hurting said siblings. b/c once she's emotionally attached to those kids, anything seriously trying to hurt her siblings do not get the luxury of her just standing by.)
that's about it.
and a meme about how thoroughly this au is going off track.
#tmnt#rottmnt#family web au#maybe#my doodles#rise venus#still considering if she will be cannon for FW#It would make their Library trip much more entertaining#and it would be hilarious if they figured out Venus was their sister before they realized Nobody/jennika was#Jennika would be so pissed too!#Like jenny drops by the lair#and the boys are talking about how they found out they have a sister#so she gets her hopes up#but then she realizes it's about someone else#(someone she didn't even know about)#and now she's pissed#and kinda hurt#like she almost tells them about their relation to big mama right there#just so she can be included#but she doesn't b/c she's also absolutely livid at them#and doesn't think they deserve that knowledge#ok i went a little off on that#also 'first' is in quotes up there#b/c technically George is in this au as well#(he's in all my rise au lol)#so as a technicality he's the first one mutated#but he was mutated on accident with unfinished mutagen so he doesn't count#Venus was the first one purposefully mutated
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also an untitled-3 and chosen just because. he's still much taller than the others dfkgldkgjdfgfd
#pitch posts#technically this was supposed to be while they were on alan's computer but i didn't want to draw the leg things. so. shrugs#chosen will ONLY nap if either untitled or dark is in the vicinity. otherwise they will not sleep at all#yes this does mean post-showdown Fucking Sucks for chosen#anyway im not immune to the Chosen Trusting People propaganda. yes even if i'm the one making it#tommy's stickmen tag#untitled time travel au#tommy's aus#pitch's art#tommy's stick!alan#<- forgor. he is still technically stick!alan
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Some days you just have to scribble (Patreon)
#Doodles#Wander Over Yonder#Commander Peepers#Emperor Awesome#Lord Hater#And technically they're in the margins so#Wander#Sylvia#They'll get their own post! Just ran out of room lol#The last puff of steam off the WOY thoughts this time around - I got Extremely inspired as a last hurrah!#I saw something that made me mad (lol) and it fired me up!#Unfortunately I wasn't warmed up yet and my whole intention was to just Draw#I didn't just want the shapes I already knew! I didn't want to fall in line with expectation! Had to work my way up and you can see a bit :3#Don't look too hard at the margin doodles yet hehe#But yeah I started kinda cautious and familiar - no sketch-touching and familiar lines and then quickly got sick of that#It's Doodle Time! Scribbles! Messy art! Creation!#So that quickly turned over into sketches that overlapped and shapes that were a bit more out there and fun#In the end the only one with odd shapes ended up being Peepers lol - even the first my-style was a little too samey#Looks a lot like an artist I like who also liked WOY lol - not my intention! /I/ want to make!#But that second to last of him turned out cool I think >:3c He deserves some cool sometimes!#Awesome is actually quite hard for me to stylize! I suppose partially because he's already rather stylized and I'm not much of a fish artist#Drawing him with big dark shark eyes was fun tho haha#And he's always the funnest to pose ♪#Hater was a challenge too! But I got there eventually :3c Not here but ♪ Eventually ♫#It was some good warmups all around hehe
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i can't believe i live in a timeline where lucy is gonna feel prompted to tell tim she's in love with him after witnessing him fall unconscious and thinking she's lost him or could potentially lose him and only really realizing in that moment how either of their lives could change in an instant what with the line of work they're in.
#*carly catalogs#IT'S SO CLICHÈ BUT GOD I EAT IT UP#I EAT THAT SHIT UUUPPPPP!!!!!#like yeah she's seen him get hurt plenty of times#but they're officially dating now.... so the impact of either one of them witnessing the other get hurt is gonna be infinitely more INSANE#cause she wasn't there when he was dangling off that parking ramp with aaron#and she thought she didn't have to worry about his spinal surgery#and even though she was clearly very worried about him when she first entered his room#once he assured he was going to make a full recovery they picked right back up with their bantering#idk this just feels.... different... like so much more#especially if they're technically still in a fight#... like.... that fights not gonna matter anymore once it's light's out for that pretty pretty princess#the rookie#the rookie s6#tim bradford#lucy chen#chenford#otp: you know me so well#took an edible can you tell?????
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ooooOOOH THE S4 INTRO PARALLEL BETWEEN VIREN AND THE DRAGON KING... I'M FROTHING AT THE MOUTH.
#aaravos. what are you planning aaravos!!!!!#the dragon prince#tdp viren#mar watches tdp#also claudia breaks my heart because on the one hand i get it. she cant let go. she loves her dad. She spent two YEARS with his CORPSE.#trying to bring him back. my sweet girl. but on the other hand she deserves better#what really sticks out to me though is that if there's one person viren loves unconditionally... it's claudia#his little girl just like he said. his precious daughter. he was ready to make soren into a fire monster but he didn't even look at her.#because he couldn't sacrifice her. not his claudia. not even when aaravos suggested using her. 'she's not an asset she's my DAUGHTER.'#i do love villains who are otherwise horrible people but have this one soft spot. this one person that they won't sacrifice#at least... not yet. there are still 3 seasons pls dont spoil me XD#(although i also know Viren dies in... this season i believe. so technically only one season for him to fuck up his relationship with her)#(but i hope he doesn't fhsjjdjs)
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Template by @juni38
Im going to be completely frank with you all... and admit that I read these options and wasn't sure how to take this chart,,, so uh. Under the cut is Another Version. I'd apologize but I've given you the option to keep scrolling ¯\_(・・)_/¯
(If you notice characters missing on Kim's side, I probably figured she doesn't know who they are lol)
For the record,,, if they *wanted* me to pull their hair-- *is shot several times before I can continue*
Uhh Matthew is here because I have been converted fully on he/him or enby lesbian Matthew I think. He lives in my brain rent free now, very gender. I'd pull his hair but also I think he mostly just deserves to have it played with nicely.
And Scott's here because 1) I enjoy trans Scott, 2) Kim Pine Brain Rot possibly, 3) idk he's like,, the exception. God damnit, I've fallen for the inexplicable Scott Pilgrim Effect. What the fuck--
I did think about doing this chart like everyone was actually applicable to my tastes, but even if they were I think the ones I didn't put up would have to fall on the caress side bc I just don't feel that way abt them lol.
Again, not to say that's the case for the gals over on that side,,, I just think I would want to be gentle w them shxkdjsdhbd with the exception for Lynette who probably deserves to have her hair pulled, but again I fear she would Hurt Me,,, but maybe in a fun way,,,
Anyway No One Look At Me....
(,, also,,, Ramona is so far over bc I think she would enjoy it,, otherwise she'd be closer to Kim in that section. Same thing w Roxie)
If anyone actually looks at this version, I'm not opposed to doing a version like this for Kim btw! Just ask for it so I feel like I'm not just Dropping This and scurrying away
#sp comic#meme#kim pine#id tag more people but i Do Not Have The Strength....#also i like Living and I think the idea of more people seeing the suggestively taken one makes me want to Die a little#(not to say you cant reblog this or whatever im just being dramatic shdjejsdhdhgdd I am generally a fairly Reserved person)#for the kim chart- i based my other scott placement on the interaction theyve had here! i think if they interacted for real or more often +#+ he'd end up definitively in the Pull Roughly suggestion with most people#ooc#he maybe if i finish edits for everyone i could try this w the au stuff. kit's thoughts might be different here...#hey*#also let me know if i forgot anyone??? i thought abt including the robots but. no hair. and gideon the cat has Fur so. on technicality-#but like barring parents and peter i think i got most people#i guess if lainey was here she'd go somewhere in the middle or right? w/out knowing what she'd be like#FUCK I DIDNT MEAN TO POST THIS. I MEAN IT'S HERE NOW SO IM NOT REMOVING IT BUT I AM S C R E A M I N G I WASNT READY#ah i forgot crash and the boys actually. thats why i wasnt supposed to post this yet#uhhhh Pull Roughly for like all of them. except trasha. trasha gets head pats and a juice box#except for on Kim's chart. on Kim's chart she's in the pull roughly section I can't lie to myself. she hates that kid 😭 also on that note +#+ knives should probably be in the middle section. like she wants to pull it for her having copped her style and being stupid abt scott.#but I didn't put her there bc I feel like even if she wants to she wouldn't ya know? knives is a Precious Angel after all
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I guess it really is true what they say.........
#really i did have to stop and think.........#have i ever made a burger before?#i don't think i had....#(technically i didn't even make this one#just bought and cooked a patty#but still.#)#thanks again todayintokyo for pickles!!!
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in a cafe rn. this place is nice :>
#just me hi#they have a lot of random old stuff in here it's fun :D#tons of books too; though most of them seem to be romance and unfortunately i've come to terms w/ the fact i'm a hater gfhsfh </3#oh and not that the old stuff is random in a new place; it's an old-looking place with a lot of old stuff that doesn't match anything else#lol ! there are some spots that are Almost uhh- the word is not coherent but it's something like it hfhvs#i've had a bisquit sanmich and a lemonade which was pretty fine. i liked the sandwich though it was a bit greasy bfsh :>#idk i'm just comfortable here. the guy running the counter might be gay and there's a bathroom sign that jokes abt gender n creatures for#them lol - it's relatively quiet too n i have a chair that's pressed against the wall w/ no windows so i don't feel like i can be snuck up#on ghfhsv. i like it here so far :D#//anywho i think i'm gonna get on my ar.ft attacks now hfhsvh#i didn't bother posting my first one this year but i'll get to that rn!! :3#i have 1 + 1/2 i gotta do - i say a half because it doesn't Technically count as an attack due to the System but ehe :33#//btw this place has a thing going on where it's Nearly symmetrical#every table is missing at least 1 chair that would make it so and if there Is an even amount of chairs they aren't the same kind#though they Are matching in colour if they aren't the same type! i like that. dunno why hfbvs#also i like how oddly everything has been placed. tables placed in a diamond form compared to the room and then others are situated like#regular tables ; i just think it's interesting lol :33#//oh and i've finished another chapter of my book ; it's taking me forever because i actually came to like it a lot n i don't want it to en#a common habit of mine hfhfsh <3#though ik it's hard to tell from the outside if i'm not doing it cuz i hate it or cuz i love it. fun for Me though hfhbshvs#//yea anyway. i like this place lol :>#gonna wander around prolly. n work on stuff hopefully :>>#i have a ~+~root beer~+~ so here i go !! toodles :D
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Requestober 2023: Vargas Edition
The playlist has returned for this year! There will be a few in between, but it should be updating at least once a week on either Wednesday or Friday or both - keep an eye out for your req(s)!
I considered a couple different lines for day 1 - there are just so many Narrator lines that could work for Scriabin! Any of the many times where the Narrator is being sadistic, it all just works. Plus, it’s fun to imagine Scriabin trapping Edgar in the same way, just shoops a wall right into his path haha
But in the end I went for one of the tags I left myself on the original TSP/Vargas crossover doodles, it does still live in my head rent-free after all. You can see in the background that those “invisible” tears were intended from the beginning as well :3c
There’s also something funny to me about Scriabin using the word “rubbish” haha ♪ How posh
Edgar, as usual, getting blame for something that was definitely his Narrator, I mean Scriabin’s fault lol
I really wasn’t sure what to do with day 2 at first - I’m too scared to watch any of the SAWs, or look them up on YouTube >~< I tried finding transcripts with stage direction or people describing them in text online but I couldn’t really find anything, I really do appreciate my friend for telling me about one haha. Even with that though, I still had to do a lot of guesswork! Something about wrists, fear, not doing well - Scriabin is very cute hiding behind Edgar but it’s still not very obvious what the theme is, huh?
I was able to find a very brief animation of I think? the trap that had been described to me but even that was a bit much for me :’D I was a very wimp that day! I didn’t even have it in me to draw the trap itself in the sketch! There’s something a bit ominous about not being able to see into the trap completely, only the blood pooling at the bottom ♪ But I’m still happy I went with what I did in the end, though I did have to change Scriabin’s dialogue from fear to accusation - though that tracks for him haha
Day 3 was silly and therefore easy to whip up haha ♪ The angst is done, the blood is done, this leaves only kisses! Any opportunity to use my pencils to make kiss-marks, I will take lol. Clearly this is what the prompt was pointing at! Obviously! Lol
If you look, Jake’s lips are painted pink and Scriabin’s red, and they have each other’s lipstick marks on their faces lol - I am attention to detail when it comes to kisses ♪
I did still end up making an alt even after pretty much decided on the first one, it’s still fun to think about Scriabin interacting with Jake before he gets his own body ♫ He’s so smug lol, at least they’re easy to cover! Ish! Mostly! Probably itch tho lol
Day 5, yaaay some Biblical Edgar <3 I have been out of practice drawing wings lately so they’re basically just Big Shapes here lol, it’s all about blocking out the space they’ll take for when it’s cleaned! I am quite happy with how he turned out digitally, his cute face ♥
Day 7 got a couple passes as well before settling! It’s a theme lol, though there were both kidverse! The prompt mentioned “brothers” but that doesn’t necessarily mean when they were kids - they can be silly and sibling-like even After, they have the range. Still, Edgar pushing him on the swing as a kid was a cute idea so I’m glad I at least scratched it down haha. Why’s he so heavy? He’s dense ♪
The alt was the winner tho! I love how much like a bug Scriabin looks here haha, how could he have possibly seen this coming??
Day 8′s sketch was done outside in the dark actually, stargazing very appropriate! You can kinda see me go back and forth on their clothes in the moment lol, Edgar’s striped shirt visible on his upper arms underneath his long sleeves and I still ended up going with a scarf! I also planned to make their breath clouds but I forgot them in the end, that background took up a lot of my focus lol. Also how come Edgar’s feet turned out better here than in the final version >:P
Gaster! A warmup for Day 9 since it’s been a bit since I’ve drawn him, especially with the cracks in his face! Scriabin is annoying his offscreen so it still totally counts as being Vargas-themed lol
Their poses were a bit subdued initially so I knew I wanted to try again, but at the same time there are a lot of elements here that I liked! Especially their hands, Gaster holding his hands in fists at his sides rather than speaking to Scriabin through sign language, and Scriabin with his flourish-opened palm, inviting ♪
Actual pose skeletons lol, though Gaster’s was a bit top-heavy. It all worked out in the end at least :)
Day 11 was a very fun concept! Turning Scriabin into an Enderman was an especially fun idea if Edgar could figure/find out that he could hide from him using a pumpkin mask, though I’m sure that would make Scriabin mad as well once he found him haha. Just sneeaaak quietly behind him, he’ll never know! Also the pumpkin having Edgar’s glasses, goatee, and scars carved into it haha <3
All the same, I’m glad I went with what I did - Scriabin’s pose is so much more dynamic! Very fun! His hands and his legs, and the way his coat flares out! Plus putting his Ender teeth on display was a lot of fun haha ♪ Poor Edgar can’t catch a break no matter what world he’s in, at least I didn’t actually turn him into a sheep lol
Day 12, yaaaay I finally got to Uncle Jake! So nervous <3 Don’t break the baby, don’t hurt him don’t move too much ahhh! Haha, terribly cute ♥ I do still really love how confident Edgar is here - he’s usually so nervous around Jake, but oh how the tables! Dadgar with a support system <3 His FWB comes to say hi to his son, it’s very wholesome hehe ♪
Day 13 was actually drawn way of out of order, between several of the later days and even day 12 I think lol, it’s so hard to convince my brain to listen to new music haha. It was quite a lot of fun making the text not look like it’s “spoken,” outside of a text bubble hehe, I don’t do that too often! And of course still deeply inspired by his palette challenge, it is too pretty to not pull from every not and again <3
Honestly I initially had no ideas for day 14, and yet this was still the only sketch I ended up with! My earworm at the time came in clutch, honestly do listen to Everything In You it’s such pretty yearning starcrossed song ah <3 All these musical doodles haha ♪ Sweetness sweetness <3
And of course when they’re that close there has to be a kiss! Scriabin is surprised, but how much? :3c Edgar giving Scriabin kisses of his own accord 💖 That theme never really left me either hehe
Day 27, the last Vargas day! Had to get in one Snake Charmer before the end huh haha ♪ It’s too bad my Ladyverse!Naga idea was a bit too long or I would’ve done that, but I’ll never turn down the potential for pretty clothes! And spiders for that matter haha, I went with the Acanthoscurria Geniculata - Brazilian Whiteknee again :) As much as I love Scriabin as a Bold Jumper, tarantulas just have such gorgeous proportions! And of course, I always enjoy drawing Lady!Scriabin, so it was doubly fun to draw her as a spider :)
That’s all of this year’s Vargas sketches! A fun bunch! And it was fun to mix a few others in as well :D
#💟#Doodles#Art#Edgar#Scriabin#Jake#Nny#Todd#Blood#Sketchdump#And there's also a Gaster and a couple AUs hanging around in there as well haha#It was a fun bunch this year! And a bit more equally spread haha I appreciate it :D#It also makes compiling my roundups easier so I doubly appreciate it! Love it when my sketchdumps don't break on me four times lol#For the record this one didn't break even once ♪ Very well behaved haha#As usual I always go extra on Day 1 lol - but even with the extra time I tried to keep things a bit smaller scale this year :3#I mostly succeeded! Still the occasional bonus or big piece haha#And lots and lots of alts - also the usual haha#But even with that there were still carryovers between everything! A couple of pieces here got my lighting itch - especially the last one#It was technically lazy cell shading but y'know what! It ended up looking cool! I will always take that haha#Anyhow ♪ Since they took up the front there have already been a few Vargas speed draws posted! Take a look for yours! :D#And thanks again to everyone for participating <3 It was a fun year!
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me having gone to bed at 6 am every day for the past week and generally spiraling mentally while rotting in bed waking up this morning: a 4 mile hike in the heat is a really good idea right now, and while we're at it let's start like 3 art projects
#maybe my mom was onto something all these years telling me i'm bipolar#no i don't think i am but i do technically have a bpd diagnosis so like. mood swings up the fucking wazoo are not new#but i am not one to be like 'exercise will fix me'#i've also just come to terms recently with the fact that i didn't kill myself already so might as well start thinking of the long term#so not being in constant pain when im older is something im actually thinking of now#so like. gotta move more which i was doing during this semester! walking like 3 miles a day which didn't help brain but#it's gotta be good for you anyway even if i don't get the endorphins everyone says you get when working out#that's neverrrr been me bc also chronic illness w exercise intolerance#so it's like. wah i have a desire to move my body more and know it's beneficial#but chronic illness + mental illness + trying not to think about exercise in terms of weight loss bc i'm trying not to make that the goal#although certainly wouldn't be mad if that was the result but if i prioritize it over just overall health it's gonna make me obsessive#i'm saying a lot of words. i have no one to really talk to so i once again come to tumblr as a public diary#ANYWAY. trying to find balance with wanting to exercise for overall well-being but dealing with other factors like chronic illness#which has actually been under the most control it's been in years i barely even consider myself (physicslly) disabled these days#and also balancing the fact that while my disordered eating has never recovered and i still have extremely bad relationship with myself#im in a relatively better place with that. i'm not starving myself and im not going through binge/purge cycles#but my relationship with food and eating is still very much unhealthy#and i don't think that will ever really change bc it's so ingrained in the everything about me#i don't really know what i'm talking ahout anymore or what prompted this#i can't simply just say 'i'm gonna go for a hike today' and be normal about. always gotta psycho analyze myself#im in a very weird stage in my life where i feel like i have control over nothing and i barely even exist in my own body#im just like a cacophony of voices trapped inside a meat suit but im not in the drivers seat im stuffed in the trunk and tied up#and the guy driving is an old blind mind who should have lost his license his ass is NOT road safe!#so it's like i have all these ideas and desires and feelings and ahh!! but hey i'm locked up here let me out please#and also the state of the world. so bleak and hopeless and paralyzing that i've just kind of shut my feelings off so i'm rapidly switching#between numbness and overwhelming agony#what the fuck am i talking about
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I hate you, Intergrated Marketing Communications
#sorry i usually don't like. rant abt real life too much#but i very much do not like how my IMC lecturer is doing my test FOR 20% OF MY GRADE#MAKING US TAKE A FUCKING GOOGLE AD SEARCH CERTIFICATION#and it requires an 80% score or higher to PASS#do if I don’t pass the certification? i don’t pass my test#i can't ask questions if I don’t understand the modules [AND I DO NOT UNDERSTAND MOST OF THEM]#and I physically and mentally cannot sit through module after module that ARE SO WORD HEAVY#AND I ONLY GET 1 TRY EVERY 24 HOURS#my deadline is in 20 days so I technically have 20 more tries#BUT#WHY NOT JUST MAKE US DO A NORMAL MCQ TEST#WHY MAKE US GO THROUGH MODULES FOR OVER AN HOUR AND TAKE A 50 QUESTION TEST ONLY FOR US TO HAVE 1 TRY EVERY 24 HOURS IF WE FAIL#NOT EVEN 1 TRY A DAY#I usually don't dislike lecturers and subjects BUT THIS ONE#UUUGGGHHHHH#i already do not like this lecturer and this LAZY test only makes me dislike her more#AND THIS IS 20% OF MY ENTIRE GRADE#HATE HATE HATE#HATE AND PISS ON PLANET EARTH#i know someone who retook this subject because she didn't pass this Google Ad test btw
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You’re gonna die if you keep that up (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#ZEX#Kayako#And Teisel's there technically#*Die again - he's sticking with his track record lol at least he's consistent#Ghost/Curse GF arc!! I enjoy seeing ZEX happy but I am Concerned for him lol#ZEX be attracted to something/one that won't brutally murder him challenge - difficulty impossible#His affection for the grotesque and monstrous - I mean while it's admirable he does regularly put himself in dangerous situations!#Runs solely on the Suspension Bridge Effect lol - attraction and fear so conflated in his mind <3#I keep thinking of his human instincts as specifically Max's instincts since it's his body - Max's self-preservation and fear and hunger#Which ZEX dutifully ignores lol Max's body tells him to bolt and privately replies like ''Yes yes in a moment'' haha#His fascination wins out! To his own detriment haha#Although I say all that as though I don't relate in my own way - I have maybe just a few too many notes relating to ZEX lol#It's always been hard for me to get into horror in the way it's intended to spook and scare because I tend to get sad :')#So many monsters and ghosts and creatures are victims of circumstance! Like Kayako! As she is here she's not even malicious just dangerous#I've never seen the Grudge so it's only speculation but it seems very sad that she was tethered as a Curse rather than a malignant spirit#Like a battery moreso than an individual - what a terrible after-existence! It makes me sad to consider!#ZEX reaching out to her in his own way is very sweet <3 He's so biased towards his darlings hehe#In a way being human does suit him - we'll packbond with anything that Might have even the slightest inclination to not maim us lol#And the way he personifies her! (VUXonifies her?) Reading intention or emotion into her actions with no proof and no understanding!#The way he ''tries to read her face'' as if he hasn't been struggling with that this entire time - with other humans who can tell him so ♪#His pride is so delicious <3 He is so easily blinded to his own shortcomings in the face of pleasure and the potential for connection!#It's no wonder DAX worries about him so much hehe ♥#It also always makes me so happy to have something fit together so perfectly like those last two hehe <3#That vine didn't exist when this happened! But there it is!! I love newer memes on older media hehehe ♪♫
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