#(struggles to make my art not crunchy

[marcmorrigan]

its @wh0rehound 's birthday and since he is the gaymer to my mafia slut obvs i had to draw our boys 🍫💕🎮 everyone say hbd sam!!! 😤🎉🎂

[inklinefan]

Will I ever see the sky again? / The circle controls your life

[fixhbones]

i forgot i have other platforms to post on 😭

here’s mob psycho kids all as girls and in cute outfits i kinda wish i owned

(closeups + outfits from cool pintrest ppl below)

[eu-nicola]

Confused Love - Luke Castellan x Daughter of Apollo!Reader

summary: you and Luke were the envied couple at camp, everything seemed perfect until certain news made you distance yourself from him.

no warnings

i was inspired by a request from @iliketopgun

It's already very late in my country, I don't even know what I'm writing.

You and Luke, were an amazing couple. Your relationship was so beautiful that it attracted the envy of the other demigods. Many felt inferior to her beauty and connection, but Luke and you didn't let that affect, even that made them feel better.

Both knew they were special together, and sometimes both of you felt superior to others, it was something that Luke especially had imposed on your relationship. Being the daughter of Apollo since you were little gave you beauty and skills in the most beautiful arts such as poetry and music, something that some people did not like because of the attention you received, especially Luke's attention, which any girl dreamed of having.

Despite the envy that surrounded you, you and Luke focused on your own business and the camp. Neither of them cared what others thought. But over time you realized that not everything was rosy.

For a few months, the relationship had been going through a difficult time. Luke started acting strange and distant, which worried you a lot. You felt confused and hurt by his attitude, not understanding what was happening. But then, everything became clear when you discovered the truth that Luke had stolen Zeus' lightning bolt.

This revelation was a hard blow for you. You couldn't believe that the person you loved had done something so dangerous and risky. You felt betrayed and for a while you decided to distance yourself from him. When you found out that Percy Jackson had been sent on a mission to recover the lightning bolt, you were about to tell on Luke but you couldn't.

During that time apart, you found yourself struggling with your feelings for him. On the one hand, you still loved Luke and wanted to believe that he could change and speak before a war broke out. On the other hand, you couldn't ignore the fact that he had done something serious and never mind that, you would be willing to join him.

When you found out that Percy had already gotten the lightning bolt you made the decision to go back to Luke, you knew this was a difficult decision but if you didn't do it now you wouldn't be able to go back to him ever again. The first thing you did that night was make sure no one saw you to go to Luke's cabin, you knew that surely that same night he would leave before everyone knew that he had been the thief. He was happy to see you and he was even the one who asked you to go with him and you did not hesitate to accept it, you knew that they could have the life they wanted and love would be present.

That same night, taking advantage of the darkness and the prevailing silence, both of you slipped stealthily along the paths of the camp. With soft and careful steps, avoiding branches and crunchy leaves, moved determinedly towards the exit. Using yours knowledge of the camp's secret corners, both found a gap in the fence that would lead them to the outside world. This time there was no turning back, now you had chosen him.

[rowanisawriter]

every night when im scrolling on here before i go to sleep its just a struggle not to overshare and divulge all my secrets my dreams my thoughts on love and war and god and my fears of hell and the inevitability of death and how work is killing my soul but people reading my silly fics is mending it and how sometimes art and writing about pixel men makes me cry and that this morning on our walk i watched my daughter step on a crunchy leaf and felt a joy so powerful it almost brought me to my knees

[ghooostugs]

some ancient art and wips… i used to be literally unable to breathe because i’d cringe so hard at my older art. drawing is probably the roughest hobby i couldve chosen, given my perfectionist nature, and only now im trying to actually tackle the struggle of always thinking the next thing im gonna draw is gonna be an embarrassment. i am now well aware that is not the case and maybe, just maybe, if i got some chill my life would be much easier lmao but now that that’s done i wanna showcase some of the stuff i made two-three years ago i may not have finished but has that sort of vibe that makes me go ‘oh! now THATS crunchy art’ so. yeah take it i am sleep deprived what did i just type

[spockandawe]

hello! i came across your wips button and i wonder if youll ever go do them? the transformers ones sound super good!!

That.... is an excellent question and one I'm not super equipped to answer! The boring downer angle is that I've been horribly, immovably blocked on art and writing for a long while now, and it drives me nuts trying to shake that AND i rarely have any luck. I know i can write pretty darn well, and I can do it FAST, there was a hot minute where i successfully held myself to uploading at least one piece of art or writing per day. That pace was never going to last, my art got better and my fics got longer, plus i went from languishing in the falling action of grad school to having an actual job, which was both a less flexible schedule and also more money to explore other hobbies. But that period of my life really drove home how important that rhythm and periodicity is to me, and i haven't been able to recapture that in years.

As it is right now, if i manage to finish anything, it's only going to happen with either a fandom at the VERY very forefront of my mind (svsss or the raksura core au right now), or with an idea too fresh and good and crunchy to resist, independent of fandom (there's a dungeon meshi idea lightly haunting me). Transformers is a remarkably good playground, I love it SO much, but it's been years since I reread any significant part of it, so the ideas aren't flowing. I trust my old ideas, but if the canon isn't fresh, or I'm not actively talking about it, the spark is unlikely to catch. There's an off-chance of me reacting to an idea in some other fic via a medium of transformers smut, but I'm also struggling to read right now too 🥲

But! But!!!! A thing ive noticed and that drives me bananas is that when i move, the shape of my hobbies changes. I vibed really well with writing in NJ and MA, and COMPLETELY lost the ball when i relocated to VA. I cross-stitched in NJ, faded in MA, and lost it in VA. I bookbound like nuts in VA, but i just did a local move, and I'm no longer getting the reaction of 'I'm idle, I should make a book.' I don't know where things will go, first was a rush to unpack my boxes, then was a rush to learn to paint a room, and now my home is full of jumbled furniture and objects and I'm so overwhelmed that all I want to do is lie in bed and level grind in video james.

Teal deer, i can't tell what hobby is going to take center stage now, and it's driving me nuts. But it could be writing! I'm much more confident about my writing than lots of other creative endeavors. I also want to revisit canon for a lot of old fandoms. I think the wip list predates my cnovel phase, but i have two beefy svsss wips, and at least two short ones, and two aus I'd love to flesh out. I have raksura core writing. I have a tf bookbinding project that's been languishing for. 1.5 years. But if i can find my momentum, I'll be diving back into canon. And i really think 5-10k of hard weird emotional smut really is my wheelhouse. I wish so hard i could recapture that energy! This is a response much longer than it needed to be, but just imagine me as the WHY ARE YOU CLOSED meme at my own brain, and much more confused and frustrated than anyone else that I don't write anymore 🤣

[odysseys-blood]

then, can you give us a list of games you recommend?

i sure can thank u for asking! i'll try to make it a bit more brief but under my top 4 i'll add a readmore with a longer list in case u wana read that and not the like. Odysseys Blood Introductory Game Pack.

so starting with the top picks:

1. The World Ends With You

i think a lot of people have a similar feeling about this game. you play as neku, recently deceased kid with no memories no friends and a whole lot of attitude and your main goal is to survive the reaper's game for 7 days to get a chance at living again. he trusts no one and believes in nothing but himself and being an extremely depressed middle schooler, i related to him but watching the way he changes over time and learns to open himself up. its kind of an eye-opener and i've seen the same though echoed through a lot of different people like me who wanted to really give up but this game does take you by the hand and oush you to try again. make connections. live and whileit may be a struggle its alright because you always have the option to keep going. also the ost is AMAZING and the art style is very unique and the story and characters captivate you so well. idk where id be without this game honestly. preferably if you do want to play its best to play the og on a ds (can be done w/ a hacked one) but if not its on switch and theres a sequel! which is ok but its not as great as original twewy

2. Tales of the Abyss

ToA (or tota as most ppl tag it but i stick with toa to match the tags for other tales games. which are also good esp vesperia i just wont add it to this list bc its already gonna be a long one). what stood out to me a lot with this game besides the main cast who i love to bits, is its theme on religion actually. when i first played toa i was still in the church and the main theme of religion in toa can be boiled down to devotion is all fine and good, but don't let it rule your life. the fate that is written out for you doesn't rule you, you make your own choices. even if they seem futile, you still don't have to take your fate sitting down you can kick and scream and fight as much as you want towards another path if that truly is what you desire. and that resonated with me heavily. this one's a little more crunchy looking from its age but i still really like the graphics (and i played on 3ds lol) and the environments in tales games are all so stellar its such a good game. and oh my GOD the party interactions. tales games usually do really good at having main casts that are "6-8 people who have no business being stuck together but they are anyways" and i think the part for this one will always be my favorite. also last little bit but theres so much about identity in toa as well and the way the main character, luke, is written with his own struggles about feeling like his own person has gripped me to this day. ive heard this one is hard to find a physical copy of but like. again shoot me a message if u have a hacked 3ds

3. AI: The Somnium Files

i've been here since day ONE (not exactly but theres a youtube page for one of the characters they were using to drop some info before the game released and i was watching while that was still going so. close enough). i am obsessed with aitsf. my icon is even the main character (edited a bit and w/ stickers). this game doesn't have combat like the first to and is strictly a visual novel and i adore the way it explores the central theme of love, especially familial love and its many shapes and forms and how sometimes even through blood it just doesnt. exist. but that doesnt mean you dont deserve love. someone will be there to give it to you and if not you take it however you can. this is much more apparent in the left half of the game which to this day has made the mizuki route my favorite. this one's eveywhere (playstation, steam, switch) and goes on sale frequently on steam for like $7. this one also has a sequel which is pretty good but again i think the original is much better

4. Heaven Will Be Mine

honestly with how many people i see daily gushing over poetry and writing im surprised more dont play hwbm. its a space mecha visual novel set in the aftermath of a war where earth sent children to go fight an existential threat which may not have even existed and now all of those kids are adults who have grown up without the shackles of society on the earth which js funny enough, finally calling for them to come back. the writing is beautiful and fun to pick apart and if you're a fan of prose i definitely think you should give this one a try. double of you're lgbt in any way this game is good for its writing about queerness especially if you're trans. please play hwbm. this one's on steam and doesnt have a sequel game but the devs, worst girl games, also made We Know The Devil which i like less than hwbm but its still pretty good! that ones got gay religious trauma

continuing is just a list of more i like in no specific order. some of these may be a bit cringey but i like fun

Witch's Heart

listen i know theres some strange bias some ppl have gainst rpgmaker pixel games but like. 1) odd but ok 2) witch's heart is such a beatiful story i need you to throw whatever biases you may have abt pixel games RIGHT NOW. my header text comes from this game. it means everything to me. do you have a wish you would kill for? does your wish mean more to you than another's? how much will you let your selfishness control you. for a game that looks so silly it made me cry a lot. this one's free on vgperson's translated game list and theres still MORE BEING MADE. SO MUCH GAME. FOR FREE. LOOK AT ME. ITS FREE. and heartwrenching.

To The Moon/Finding Paradise/ Impostor Factory

this description is short but similarly a pixel game like the previous rec. its more understandably heavy considering you play as eva and neil who fulfill the wishes of the dying in their dreams. its sad. i cried. i cry a lot dont i? these r on steam

Just Shapes and Beats

a rhythm game this time! it's got a cute little story mode but it is just a dubstep rhythm bullet hell i like playing. did you know i was a dubstep fan in middle school well now you do and im sad skrillex is mid now. its on steam and switch. not a good pick however if you are sensitive to flashing lights or have epilepsy im sorry. i believe there are safe modes but i havent tested them myself to see how well they work

Paranormasight

paranormasight is a horror visual novel illustrated by gen kobayashi who, if you can tell from the linework on the sprites and in the portraits and what have you, illustrated for twewy. i'll be real i was ready to screan and cry 30 minutes in but its not actually that scary im just a wimp. this one could be seen in a similar vein with witch's heart in the idea of: what would you do to fulfill your greatest wish. how many people would you kill. because you will be killing. on steam and switch.

Bustafellows

for being an otome bustafellows rly got me. while being an otome it is still plenty silly but heavy with fun characters. also i think this is the first time ive really liked an otome mc they tend to be very waify and kinda annoyingly written tbh but teuta is a VERY fun character and not at all a stand in for a self insert. or at least she isnt good at being a self insert which is fine to me because i love a main character that has their own personality. a guy dies like 10 minutes in. this ones on steam

Mamiya

i seem to like a lot of visual novel games with time loops and dead main characters and this is another one. very dark but i love it to bits. also this one requires a warning list i haven't seen anywhere but i made one myself here. its on steam

IVE RUN OUT OF PICTURES. SO I CANT ADD ANYMORE BUT QUICK LIST YOU'LL HAVE TO LOOK UP MORE OR JUST ASK ME ABT ANY OF THESE:

Lethal League Blaze

Hatoful Boyfriend

Fallen Hero: Rebirth (and its sequel Retribution)

Code Vein

shout out also to What in Hell is Bad. not for kids at all this one is explicitly 18+ but for being a goofy eroge otome it has. gripped my by the nuts and it has not let go. ive only been playing like a month help.

[mx-gutz]

Okay my friend made a post about messy line art. I was gonna put in my experience but I realised my art doesn't fit with the topic. So I'll make its own post.

Around mid 2021 to 2022, I switched from lineless art to line art. And back then, I tried to keep my line art as clean as possible.

But suddenly, one day I felt line art was too difficult. Too hard to maintain. I had to get the perfect line in each part, had to color the inner lines to match the colors.

I LOVED line art but it doesn't fit for me anymore.

I once found a QR code crayon brush for IbisPaint X and tried it as lineless art for Art Fight last year.

And I love it. I love it way more than my line art. I love the crunchy feeling of the crayon brush, whereas my old lineless art was just a flat brush with watercolor brush as shading.(Those were made in Medibang, because Medibang doesn't have lots of textured brushes 💔)

Afterwards I stopped line art and went back to lineless art.

((I even slowly learned color theory and rendering, both simple and "painterly" way. But that's a different story.))

The reason I made this was mainly to pour out my feelings. It's not suitable for the messy line art post because this ends with... NO LINE ART! LOL‼️

Yet I still have many struggles as an artist; motivation, keeping to stay drawing as to fuel my passion for art. I dwindled my drawing times because I often take too long to come up with ideas.

The "idea" of a perfect art account is still trapped in my mind. Even if I stray away, the insecurities of owning an art account would haunt me.

Badly.

But sometimes... I had to learn another thing as well. A thing I never expected to be important.

Drawing comfortably.

[xannerz]

gonna ramble but-- infinite painter ($10) and artstudio pro ($10/yr or $40 for life) are so much better than procreate (~$13). if their UIs were as intuitive as procreate's, im p sure they'd be more popular. that's honestly the only thing procreate has on the other 2 - it's not feature-rich, but v/ lightweight and easy to pick up. idk, it's kind of a shame.

i've always struggled with procreate - no matter how i mess with the settings, no matter what brushes i try out, the brush engine still feels incredibly stiff. but when i doodle in ip or artstudio it almost feels like i'm back on my desktop with csp, where i'm most comfortable. it's sad, man. procreate makes everything so crunchy when you resize it. it has restrictive layer limitations depending on your canvas size. i was doing a 3kx3k in IIRC IP the other day and the layer cap was like 100+ LMFAO. idk! i have immense respect for procreate and how it's made art more accessible to tons of artists (--once you buy an ipad ☝🤓), but if you can, give the other apps a shot. idr but im p sure they have free demos. artstudio pro's UI isn't the most mobile-friendly but i enjoy drawing on it wayy wayya ywyaywyYWYAYYY more.

[quinnonimp]

two things. one, your art is absolutely wonderful. i love the warm tones and style. two. got any like. weird art tips. like just weird things you do that work really well. or just art tips in general lol. there's something bout your style that makes me go ':D' lmao

aaaaaa tysm !!!! very glad u like my style <33 means a lot

and yeah id say i have quite a few with the way im very experimental n passionate abt art !

>> i think my weirdest one is rly just the main way i render tbh ? like, as u can pretty easily see with my main art style is that its all very crunchy n pixelated, n thats all cause i have anti-aliasing off for my brush . i render in a pretty unorthodox way but it makes things so so so much easier and more fun for me, even if its more time consuming for several reasons

heres a little bit of an infographic ive whipped up that hopefully u can get smth out of lmao . its 6am ive been up all night drawing as usual so im having a lot of trouble doing things properly sorry sorry

and the funny thing is this is aaaaaaaaall just cause i hate blending and am scared of committing to things (esp colors) so i just decided "okay whatever im gonna be goofy and just make it all pixelated idc anymore" and it worked !! (thanks homestuck) art is sm more enjoyable since i started doing this as it fits perfectly with the way my brain works and its helped me sm with getting better at colors bc of the way i have to do every single color manually (for several reasons like how i have to keep track of every color ((which makes me recycle them a lot more making things look more united)), gradients r the most fun to do but i have to make sure all the colors "blend" together nicely, i get to change them super easily, etc etc)

however these days i HAVE been trying to get back into working with anti-aliased brushes just to get out of my comfort zone n such, but tbh the only thing its helped me with is remind me how much more fun drawing aliased is and how absolutely dogshit i am at blending FDJHJKDF

also it makes me better at minecraft skins since im so used to working with pixels !

>> another little weird thing i have that honestly just goes against basic art rules is experiment by having ur values be as close together as possible without losing contrast . this is horrible as a tip, but fun as an experiment, and for me its just fun since i already know pretty well how values work and have enough experience to break the "rules" - because lot of times good shading colors r actually lighter than the original when put under b&w

so if ur like me i would recommend trying it out ! if u dont even know what values are then this ISNT good for u, do values properly as they really help

>> if u struggle a lot with side profiles, just learn from the gorillaz demon days album art . like literally im not joking that is THE thing that made me learn to draw side profiles and id say im pretty good at them now (however the effectiveness of this probably depends on the style)

and by learn from it i mean u can just trace it with any other characters, or study it, or reference it, yadaydayada . just do wahtever with it, damon albarn dgaf

obviously this isnt gonna magically make u great at side profiles but if u want a fun art challenge or ur a big gorillaz fan like me, it could get u kickstarted !!!! especially if ur doing it with ocs or characters u like that are in a band or something

ok thats all the tips ill be giving out tonight im a little sickly victorian child rn

hope it helped . uhm . bye

[rielzero]

Ayy Will be posting again soon

just in general, art stuff, haven’t been able to work on webcomic because I’m still recovering. The new routine is settling in pretty well I must say! I haven’t been in a good mood for this long in a while now.

I did something that was on my ‘’pls do this’’ list, which was draw a casual piece that’s a scene. I recorded it too, so that will be a future youtube video!

I’ve replaced tons of my artwork on tumblr with glazed ones, there’s not enough of my art on here to really worry about anything, so I feel secure enough to put my profile on public again, that means I can also look at my archive or blog voew again.

I don’t glaze my sketches, cuz they’re so messy and just inconsistent.

crunchy af, but the task is doneeee.

As for webcomic: I think I’m just putting it in a backseat for now, Recovery comes first, and I’m gonna be busy by the end of April and early May (cuz birthday stuff), so I’m taking this month as a reprieve and just focus on making my brain make the happy chemicals when I draw. That way I’ll be able to enjoy making my comic more after busy time is over.

I was sooo burnt out last week? Honestly time don’t make sense anymore. Definetly was burnt out early April. I was struggling to draw anything I was proud of.

I did a ton of silly doodles in my sketchbook so I’ll make a follow up post.

[idolsgf]

☽ unusual oc associations ☾

i was tagged by @demandthedoodles a few days ago to do these, thank you!! <33 these are so interesting and it was very fun to think of things you don't normally think about. this one's just gonna be for mori'na so as to not have a super long post but i might have separate ones at some point in the future for faye & ashari as always, keeping this an open tag

mori'na

Seasoning: thyme; minty, earthy, with just a hint of sweet in the back note

Weather: you know that certain late spring weather where it's just the perfect warmth with a slight breeze but there's that slight scent of petrichor from a storm growing in the distance? yeah, that weather

Colour: dark moss green

Sky: it's that mid point between early morning in late, where it's mostly blue but still has that hint of pinks and oranges from the sunrise, but the faint gray clouds rolling in from the distance (as indicated before, the oncoming storm)

Magic power: freeze time, all she wants is to take a nap

House plant: i'm not that well versed in house plants because my cats won't let me live in peace, but i'm gonna go with pothos

Weapon: bow and arrow; her life, her beloved. has been a struggle to adjust to not using after losing her arm

Subject: botany or anthropology (elfy version tho)

Social media: pinterest is probably the only one she looks at personally, all the rest is managed by josie and only to keep up the inquisitor image

Make-up product: a slight lip tint is all she has on, all natural face babyy

Candy: werther's original caramel

Fear: losing all sense of herself

Ice cube shape: small crunchy cubes, the best kind

Method of long distance travel: her own two feet, they feel no pain

Art style: post-impressionism

Mythological creature: pixie

Piece of stationery: washi tape

3 emojis: 🏹🌿🍻

Celestial body: a comet, born out of the forgotten leftovers of everything else yet still burns bright

[nearly-fxllen]

Azrael: Archangel of Death

Name: Azrael

Aliases: Az, Azzy

Age: existed before earth did, developmentally around 60, physically around the mid-twenties

Gender: does not conform to human anatomy, perceived as male most often

Pronouns: He/they/it

Sexuality: pansexual

Positive traits: Calm, caring, honest

Negative traits: judgmental, can be harsh with words, stubborn

Skills/hobbies: Horseback riding, woodworking, cooking, reading, gardening, sewing, sword work, knife throwing

Likes: coffee, animals, quiet, horror, music, junk food

Dislikes: loud noises, lamb meat, anything mashed, math, crowds

Phobias: aquaphobia(water), thalassophobia(open sea)

Aspirations: to one day retire and not have to do paperwork

Residence: heaven, he has a cabin in the woods

Occupation: Archangel of Death

Background: Azrael was created by God very soon after earth was created. Growing up, Azrael was disliked by God and as a result was often punished for small things. The most common of these punishments was being trapped in a dark room for anywhere from a few weeks to over a decade. Throughout his adolescence Azrael was often a target for anger to be taken out upon whenever God was so much as mildly inconvenienced. Things like waterboarding, flaying, and other methods of torture were never out of the question. As a direct result of this, Azrael is not fond of small enclosed spaces most of the time; however it can deal with them without many outward signs of discomfort. Throughout their youth, Azrael was a recluse in comparison to his siblings. Its sensitivity to noise causing issues with being around others, and his general dislike for social interaction adding to this desire for quiet alone time. He often took to hiding away in its room to avoid being in the path of anyone else not only for his comfort but for fear of being harmed. Despite being isolated from its siblings, Azrael could sometimes be found sat outside the doors to the dining room as a teenager; he enjoyed listening to the conversations of its siblings and knowing what was going on. When they reached early adulthood, Azrael made an attempt at escaping its father. Unfortunately, this failed and he was severely punished for it. Although angel blood has healing properties, the decades of torture that followed his attempt at leaving left Azrael mangled and littered with scars. With wings damaged to a degree where he could no longer use them, Azrael took a liking to horseback riding and farming. He made a second attempt at leaving the palace after healing, and succeeded. He continued to stay in touch with a few siblings, but warded its home against God. They continued to do their job as the archangel of death, but rarely left the cabin he built for itself. At one point he pissed off a deity(Huitzilopochtli, Aztec god of war and sacrifice, will be mentioned in passing maybe) enough to end up kidnapped and tortured for a long while before being found and rescued by a different deity(Mictlāntēcutli, Aztec god of death, will be featured on this blog once i make a basic info sheet for it) who became a major figure in his life. I’ll add to this later bc there’s so much more in my brain but here’s the basic stuff bc I wanna get a move on to start using this blog lol.

Physical description: Olive skin tone, black hair(dyed, naturally blond), bluish grey eyes, 5’7, completely mangled left wings with a few grey feathers where there’s flesh still, more intact but still mangled right wings, nearly completely covered in scar tissue from burns, lashes, knives, and the works. Often times wears suits or formal attire. (Imma get art of him when i have cash I swear)

Other info: He’s extremely sensitive to sound, and often wears accessorized earplugs to help with this. He has sensory issues surrounding liquids, cold things, certain fabrics, and the texture of crunchy foods. It also struggles with reading tone, dealing with bright or flashing lights, and multiple people talking at once.

[keefwho]

August 15 - 2024 Thursday

10:44pm

4/10

I did my whole workout this morning and felt good about it.

Work was good today. Again I really didn't want to do classic warmups where I add generic poses to my sketch sheet. I worked on something personal to warm up and make good progress on the commission today. I thought I did excellent on the background but started struggling on the shading of the characters because I don't have a good formula for that still. I felt nervous at the start of the stream for some reason but I got into the flow of it like usual.

For lunch I made some pretty bad tuna macaroni. I think I got a bad can of tuna, there was less than usual and it came in little bits instead of the usual folded structure. Smelled a little weird too, like it's parts of tuna that aren't usually used.

I've been watching a lot of Summer Camp Island, its like my comfort show right now. It gets me thinking a lot about friendship given thats what a lot of the episodes are about but in a low-key way. I love the vibe of getting up to new and crazy stuff at a summer camp with your friends. It feels secure, like you know no one is going anywhere. Its how great bonds are formed like how everyone is forced to go to school together.

This afternoon I was meant to work on art for my socials, so like drawing popular characters to boost my numbers some. I didn't want to do any of my ideas though, I think they are all kinda lame and have nothing going for them. So I worked on my own stuff a little bit but while I did, I got kinda hot so I did something about that instead. Then I finished BD and TK's statues for my world and got the place updated. I'm proud of that, I wasn't sure I'd have it in me to get it all done this week. But thats why I made verbal promises to everyone that I would do it this week because that would force me to uphold it. I knew beforehand it was well within my capability so it's not like I pushed myself for this.

JD and I hung out and talked for a little after work. We looked at new RTS games to play together and settled on Planetary Annihilation which I was iffy on at first but once we started playing, I can tell I'm going to be addicted. He really liked it too so I guess we found our game for now. We also talked about feelings and stuff like usual but we tried to focus more on the game intentionally. Today I had to tell him that I didn't feel good around almost anyone. I didn't feel the connection, even to him and that it's because there is something wrong with me.

In general today I was feeling insecure and unwanted. I waited for DS for an hour in VR doing basically nothing due to some miscommunication and Discord being fucky and until I knew it was mostly Discord's fault, I took it a little poorly. I tend to wait a lot which is something I told myself to stop doing for literally anyone. There is always something I could be doing until the other person is confirmed to be ready and on their way. I wait too much. When she got on we had a good time. We talked a little and I got some much needed reassurance. We went to my world to look at the new statues and then we took a stroll down my (very crunchy) art gallery again. Its always nice taking that trip down memory lane and talking about my old work. In bed we puzzled and she read a chapter of Monster High. I did a good job of listening to and conceptualized her words since I've always struggled with that for some reason. Its too easy for my mind to go on a tangent about a particular sentence and then I stop hearing new stuff. Its a good exercise in focus though.

I think it's about time to start leaping into accomplishing goals I need to get done for my own good before certain deadlines. It can be hard when I struggle with day to day personal goals but the stress of very real deadlines always makes me go hard. I know I'll fumble but it's necessary to start figuring out what I need to do for myself and my friends.

[worldunbent]

i was going to give my ranking of hxh arcs but tbh i enjoy/don't enjoy them for such different reasons that it feels impossible to try to directly compare them. i also could not possibly justify ranking the chairman election arc as highly as i would. general quick thoughts on each instead

hunter exam - it took me a little while to get into it, but starting from around netero's introduction it really picks up and the ending is stellar... on mc+ keith talks about how the show makes you nostalgic for the hunter exam as it goes on and it is kind of great how an arc that feels full of danger and uncertainty at the time becomes almost cute and whimsical in retrospect.

zoldyck manor? - not sure if this counts as an arc but i like it. there's some excellent work in tone with how simultaneously dark and goofy it is.

kevin's heaven's arena - sure does exist. speaking of arcs that feel different in hindsight, greed island kind of makes this arc look worse because that also had a shitton of exposition but it was with a wacky character in a wacky setting while in kevin's arena you're getting powerpoints from a kind of boring character in a kind of boring setting. there's nothing about this arc i really hate, but not much i enjoy either.

yorknew city/phantom troupe - YEAH BABEY. if we go by the dichotomy that everyone is either a yorknew fan or an ants fan, i am definitely a yorknew fan. i love the setting, i love the parade of freaks, i love the inexplicable lengthy digressions about art forgery. all of the character writing is so sharp and funny and tragic. i could talk for ages about how many things i like about this arc on a beat-by-beat level. on a broader level, the pacing is also excellent (even with the lengthy art forgery digressions) and i love how it's a break from the very typical battle shonen-y structure of the surrounding arcs.

greed island - i wasn't expecting to like greed island because i don't like training arcs and have very little interest in stories that deal with video game mechanics but for some reason i really enjoyed it - it's partly because the arc just has great character work (this is where killua emerged as my favorite and stayed that way for the rest of the series even though he was squarely my least favorite of the main four for quite a while in the beginning) and partly because togashi is having so much fun with his own worldbuilding and bizarre ideas that it's hard not to get drawn in. the video game aspect is less interested in the crunchy mechanics... well, it is interested in the crunchy mechanics, but it takes a very broad view of the game's design as well, which is a lot more fun to me. obviously the weak point of this arc is that the villain just sucks ass. i won't deny that.

chimera ants - wellll sure. i like a lot of this arc, especially the continued character and relationship development for gon and killua and a bunch of the new characters on the hunter side, but the stuff i enjoyed most wasn't really specific to the ants. i didn't hate them but i struggled to find them as interesting as togashi clearly did and that's... an issue when the arc is as long and ant-focused as it is.

13th chairman election - i completely understand the flaws that other people see in this arc but i simply enjoy the events that take place and sometimes that's enough. it's a stupid political farce that for some reason has been jammed into the same space as a fucked-up family drama. and the stupid political farce is also a fucked-up family drama itself. it's just so weird and specific that i can't help but like it.

dark continent - i barely remember anything that happened this arc. i do think it's really funny that togashi takes a second pass at the same bit nobody liked in yyh where he starts explicitly powerscaling and says that actually all those past insanely powerful villains are weaksauce b-tier fools and all the real strong guys are over there -> go there now -> -> -> it's not better this time but it is funnier because he's doubling down.

succession crisis - the fact that i don't like something called the succession crisis arc is hilariously out of character but sorry the pacing of this is just so weird and i find it hard to care about most of what's happening. there are definitely parts i like but they're swimming in a sea of togashi just throwing out absolute overload of new characters and ideas too fast to actually develop most of them.