#(spoilers: yes they fuckin do but the left only wants to bring that up when the other victims are part of their group or as a gotcha)

[foxxsong]

Fuckin love it (sarcasm, if that's not obvious) when Jewish people come onto a post and respectfully ask people to stop comparing every atrocity to Nazi Germany for shock value while giving examples of other comparisons to use and some random gentile prick decides that no, actually THIS TIME it's accurate and it would in fact be WORSE to find something else to compare it to because other things don't have enough shock value to make their point before proceeding to have the gall to imply that it's not overused and that Jews are selfish for not wanting it constantly brought up.

Like, congrats for contributing to the issue of desensitizing people to the Holocaust and telling Jews that you don't care if their murders are being used for your own purposes. Good job further proving that the left only cares about Jewish pain when they can use it to sensationalize issues they care about or that could effect them personally.

But sure, let's further propagate the whole "canary in the coal mine" trope. As if the suffering of Jews doesn't matter unless real victims could be next.

[slimybeth69]

Que Será, Será: Part 8

Rating: Explicit- Smut, violence, drinking/drug use. MDNI!! Summary: It's almost twenty years after some weird outbreak almost happened but the CDC took care of that...Now you're living in Austin, Texas as an adult.What happens when you meet Joel Miller who hasn't been hardened and ruined by twenty years of murder and loss? Warnings/Tags: DaddyDom!Joel/ you. no use of y/n. No physical description of the reader besides one tattoo. Reader has a background story. Drinking/drug use. Slow burn. Smut. Angst. Cheating. Graphic depictions of violence. Eventual loss of virginity. Use of nicknames/pet names (lil girl, baby girl.) DD/lg dynamics. BDSM play. Unbeta'ed. WIP. Cross-posting from my Ao3. Chapter Warnings: read at your own discretion- no warnings due to chapter spoilers.

Previously--

Joel doesn’t text you or call you for four days. You are fuming. So mad. Not sad anymore. Rage filled. But you only text him one thing on the fourth day and nothing else. 

Cool. 

And then you almost throw your phone against the wall but…you can’t afford a new phone and a laptop. Not even with Joel paying for the window. Your phone dings and it’s him. Your heart flutters until you open it. 

Sorry.

Currently-

Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. Love that. Love all of this.

This is fucking wonderful.

You delete his text thread. You hesitate deleting the contact info because…that would be it. You don’t have any other way of contacting him unless you show up to his front door. You don’t delete it. You’ll hold on to it for a night you get real drunk and wanna make a fool of yourself. 

It’s another two weeks later and you’re at work, cashing people out when he comes through your line. You don’t even notice until he says something. You hadn’t even looked up.

“Hi.”

When you do look it feels like your heart is going to fall into your ass. 

“Hi.” It comes out of you so quiet and small. You’re so fucking scared for some reason. It feels like all the bones in your body have been turn to liquid.

“How y'been?” He asks and sounds shy. You shrug your shoulders and the anger returns. 

“Fine.” You snap softly. 

“Good.” Joel speaks softly to you but doesn’t say anything else. 

You cash him out and then he leaves. You’re so thankful that no one was behind him. You tell the person working next to you–with tears in your fucking eyes– that you need to go to the restroom and you’ll be right back. You spend ten minutes in there fucking crying. Heartbroken. 

Your co-worker�� an older woman named Babs, comforts you gently when you come back teary eyed and red faced.

“You cryin’ over that mean lookin’ feller?” She asks quietly when no one else is around. You nod, but don’t start crying again. You can’t. You’ll have to leave if you start again. “Eh, you can do better.” She shrugs her shoulders.

It makes you feel worse because you don’t want ‘better’ you want Joel Miller. Wanted him so fucking badly it hurt everywhere. These last couple weeks have been nothing but pain and you can't even pinpoint it because it feels like it's overtaking your whole world.

You drive home and go straight to the whiskey cabinet. No fucking around tonight. You are drinking to be drunk. Drunk, drunk.

You change into something more comfortable, almost nothing— a little sundress because it’s hot. So fuckin’ hot. You bring your bong and bottle of whiskey outside with a can of Coke.

It’s happening: you’re getting over Joel Miller tonight. 

That bottle goes down…quicker than you expect it to, easier too. There wasn’t much left and…now it’s gone. So, you’re feeling better. Feeling not as sad. Not mad at all. Numb. Good. It’s good. Better than sad. Yes. Smoke weed. Get drunk. Be numb. The best way to handle your problems. 

It’s getting dark when your phone rings. You’re too drunk to care who it is. 

“Yessss?” You answer…very drunkenly.

“Y’expectin’ my call or somethin’?” Joel chuckles into the phone nervously. 

“Whaaaat?” You’re in shock. Stunned and still drunk. “Why’re y’callin’ m’fer?” You slur into the phone loudly. 

“You okay there, lil girl?” He asks, sounding worried about you and not nervous at all anymore.

“I’mm. Fiiiine.” You try to snap but it comes out long and drawn out, but annoyed. 

“Don’t sound fine… ” He speaks softly now. 

“Well why would I be? Huh? Huh?” You are angry again hearing his voice. “Jus’fuckin’ ‘banoned me? Fuuuck yooooou.” You are too drunk to be talking to him right now. You really should just go to bed. “I liked y-you ssoo muuuch. SOO much. I did.” You poke your chest like he can see you. “N’ y’fuckin’ leave.” You’re sad. Almost crying now. “Fuuck yoooou. I liked you!!!” 

“Can we talk?” He asks, sounding ashamed, not hearing or not caring that you’re hammered. 

“I’m lissstenin’.” You slur in a hiss. You’re pissed off. Drunk and angry.

“In person, stupid.” Joel chuckles into the phone. 

“M’not fuckin’ drivin’ nowhere. M’not that stupid!” You snap into the phone.

“M’out front. You don’ gotta go nowhere.” He whispers into the phone. You look at the back door of the house like you can see right through all the wood and drywall and plaster to try and see him. 

“Comin’.” You hang up on him and make your way to the front door. Joel is walking up to meet you as it opens. 

“Hey…” He says softly. 

“Fuuck. Yoou.” You teeter to one side but steady yourself. 

“You drinkin’?” Joel pinches his brows together softly. 

“Soooo much.” You glare at him like that’s supposed to bother him or make him feel some type of way. But it does. 

“Why?” He asks with a shrug on one shoulder. You haven’t invited him so he still on the porch. 

“Because.” You snap. ‘That’ss it.” You nod your head and blink for a long time. 

“You gon’ be okay?” Joel asks as you open your eyes. 

“Yesss.” You sigh at him.

“You want me t’go home? Delete yer’ number?” He asks quietly. “Want me t’ask y’again when yer’ sober?” He chuckles now but it doesn’t last long and he goes back to staring at you. You do not know. You want him to stay. But…why? He’s embarrassed of you. 

“I dunno.” You whisper up to him. 

“I’m sorry.” He shrugs his shoulders and tries to teach for you but you take a step back from him and scowl. “You hate me now?” Joel leans against the door frame and looks down at you sadly. 

“Y’hurt my feelin’s.” You grumble. “You're ‘sha–med of me.” You hiccup. Joel shakes his head. 

“No. I’m not.” He whispers. “I mean it. We can talk in the morning when yer’ sober. I’ll come back.” He nods his head and reaches for your hand.

You let him take it and he rubs his thumb across the back of your finger. “I wan’ you.” Your drunk heart and brain tell him what you want for you. “Real bad.” You nod at him.

“Yer’ so drunk, baby. Can I put ya t’bed?” Joel asks softly.

You keep nodding at him and he helps you back into the house and starts to lead you down to the basement.

“M’stuff… ” You point out to the back deck near the pool but Joel just walks you to the top of the stairs.

You take one stumbling step down before Joel wraps one arm around your waist, lifts you quickly and gets you downstairs himself, holding you facing out with your back against his chest.

You’re very concerned about your things outside though. “I got thingsss outssside.” You look up at him as he puts you into bed and pulls the blanket up over you. 

“I’ll go get ‘em.” He kisses the top of your head very softly and turns your fan on, turns the lights off and then you’re passed out.

It’s not a pretty morning. It hurts. The whiskey hurts you so bad. You don’t even want to open your eyes.

No. You cannot. You will die here in this bed in the basement. Die of sadness and loneliness, probably. You could weep from the pain and the heartbreak.

Agatha meows softly and jumps up on the bed behind you. You pspspspss her real good but she never comes. You roll over and then fall out of your bed quite literally. Jump out screaming, is more like it!

There is a man beside you– Joel Miller!? And he’s petting your cat!!

“What are you doing here?” You ask from the floor as Joel rolls over onto his back to look at you. 

“Want me t’go? I stayed in case ya got sick or whatever.” Joel shrugs his shoulders and sounds disappointed in your reaction to seeing him. 

“When did you get here? How did you get in?” You’re still on the floor and still so confused. Your head is pounding and you just wanna go get sick and crawl back into bed. 

“Last night. Showed up after y’started boozin’.” Joel explains and starts to get out of your bed. He has all of his clothes on except for his boots. “I’ll go. M’sorry fer’ jus’ showin’ up. Saw ya at the store yesterday n’ ya looked real nice. I been missin’ you. Wanted to talk if you’d listen…” Joel trails off as he stands at the end of your bed, towering over you still sitting on the floor. He extends his hand and helps you to your feet. 

“You– you don’t have to go.” You whisper softly. “I don’t want you to.”

Joel’s eyes light up and he takes a step closer to you. You might be sick. You put one hand over your mouth and dart into the bathroom. 

It's possible, by the power of Satan himself flowing through you that you are fine. You are going to be okay. You drink water and...actually just have to get into the shower.

It’s good there.

It feels so good to lay down, so you do, you lay down and curl up into a ball on the floor of the stand up shower for an embarrassingly long time.

All you can think about is what happened last night that your blacked-out brain cannot remember. Did you embarrass yourself? Did you do anything stupid that he can use against you in the future? Did you say that you loved him?

Ugh.

You're not sure Joel would tell you any of those things, even if they did happen.

When you stand up, things don't hurt as much, but you feel just as disgusting as you did when you got in, so you wash and scrub the evidence of the day before off and let it swirl around the drain and into the pipes to be gone forever.

You get out, and brush your teeth- that's what you needed more than anything.

When you come out you can feel his eyes on you immediately, but you don't look at him. You pull on a pair of panties with your towel still wrapped around you. You do the same thing with a new dress that barely touches any of your body when you put it on.

That's when you take off the towel and finish drying your hair.

“I’ll understand if y’dont wanna smoke…” Joel gives you a sad smile as he watches you from the couch.

It's so hard to be mad at him for ignoring you, and not giving you any explanation for why he didn't want to see you anymore when he's looking at you with his big, sad brown eyes.

“Why’d ya leave that day?” You ask softly, sitting yourself down on the couch with enough distance between you for a whole person to lay down.  

“You know. S’awkward. ” Joel shrugs his shoulders, his eyes not meeting yours anymore. “Made me feel weird– bad." Joel doesn’t sound mad when he says this, he sound almost regretful. "Felt like a fuckin' pervert."

Now you're scared of the reason he came over here.

“What changed?” You whisper.

Joel chuckles and turns his head to look at you. “I realized… I am. I wanna fuck th’shit out of your tight, young, lil virgin pussy… so god damn bad. I get so fuckin’ hard thinkin’ ‘bout it.” Joel growls the words to you quietly. “I think ‘bout watchin’ my hard cock slidin’ into yer’ lil hole fer’ the first time n’ I could fuckin’ bust right there.” His mouth is so tight when he speaks, like he's trying to hold the words back from slipping between his lips.

He's quickly closing the distance between you two on the couch, and it makes your heart race, and his words make your pussy clench around nothing.

“Oh.” 

You’re so wildly turned on by his words, he's barely said them and you're already dripping. Your stomach is fluttering so much you feel like you might actually be sick this time. There is pressure and also a weird weakness in your chest simultaneously, like it might cave in on itself. 

“That’s all ya want from me?” You murmur, staring at him as he inches himself closer to you. He shakes from side to side silently. “What else do you want then?” You close your eyes because he is so close, you know he’s going to kiss you and you know where. Under your right eye.

“All of you.” Joel breaths against your eyelid and it makes you shiver. “Everything. Whatever ya wanna fuckin’ give me. I don’ care. I’ll take it, n’ be your pervy old man.” Joel speaks quietly and softly and moves down your cheeks as he speaks until he’s to your lips. “I’ll take whatever y’give me. I want it.” Joel whisper against your lips before he kisses you. 

You lean back and let him climb between your legs and rest some of his weight on top of you. He doesn’t grind himself down into you like you so desperately want him to, he lays his hips gently onto yours and rests there as he kisses you deeply. One of his hands finds the side of your face and he cups, then slides up, carding his fingers through your hair as he tries to deepen the already intense kiss.

It’s so deep it feels like he’s trying to lick your throat, but… you’re right there trying to lick his– trying to crawl into each other's mouths. 

He moans quietly as your hands find his hair and hold him to you as your mouths do the opening and closing-thing, the desperate-thing. Wet kissing sounds, and both of your breathless, panting moans fill the room. 

“I need you.” You whisper, pulling his head away from you by his hair. He chuckles and tries to kiss you again but you don’t let him. 

“No.” He growls, and there is another attempt to kiss you, more forceful this time, but you grip his hair tightly and yank his head back, he groans when you do it but doesn’t stop grinning down at you or panting.

“Why not? Why are you dragging it out?” You’re almost angry about it but…how can you stay mad at him? He’s grinning down at you all stupid, with his chocolate brown eyes and his body is just so big on top of yours. So warm. He smells so fucking good. 

“Yer’ special, so it's gotta be special.” He pants and makes an attempt to pull free from your grasp in his hair but you don’t let go and he rolls his eyes and groans in frustration but it’s short lived when he looks back down at you. 

“I don’t want it to be a big thing?” You whisper, reminding him of why you hadn’t lost it yet. 

“Shhhh. You want it sooo fuckin’ bad. Right?” Joel speaks like he knows exactly what he’s talking about.

You nod.

“S’let me keep doin’ all this– all these fun n’ sexy things that make ya feel soooo good– they make ya feel good, right?” He questions you again and pauses with his eyebrows raised.

You nod again.

“Okay. Ya' were sooo nervous with e'ryone else 'cause ya weren't comfortable, right?"Joel is still talking like he is so smart and has all the answers.

You shrug your shoulders and nod. begrudgingly.

“M'gettin’ ya' there…” Joel nods his head. “Doin’ all this fun stuff…makin’ ya more n’ more comfortable— confident n’ how to use that sexy fuckin’ body ya got- I- need'ya a lil more comfortable ‘fore we go n’ take the plunge. ‘Kay? Sexy fuckin’ lil girl with the tightest fuckin’ pussy, that work fer’ you?”

You nod silently.

“‘Kay. Shut up n’ kiss me a lil ‘fore we smoke n’ relax a. You gotta work today?” He questions you.

You shake your head no.

“‘Kay. You still like me?” He gives you a crooked half smile.

You nod.

“‘Kay. So stop worryin’. Daddy’s gon’ take reeeeal good fuckin’ care of you.” He snaps his head forward slightly, in the process pulling his hair free from your grasp. “Ha!” Joel laughs in your face once and brings his lips to yours again and opens your mouth for you with his tongue, and it turns into who can kiss the wettest very quickly. 

When he finally pulls himself away, you're both panting as he rests his forehead against yours. Then he exhales loudly and quickly, then kisses you once more before he climbs off of you and goes back to the coffee table with weed and smoking paraphernalia on it.

You stare at him. 

Is he your boyfriend now? 

You replay the last ten minutes in your head and everything he said. It sounded…like he wanted to be your boyfriend. Kinda. Kinda sounds like he just wants to fuck you? You dunno. You’re too fucking scared to ask and look stupid. 

“What?” He asks when he feels you staring at him while he gets ready to smoke. 

“Nothing.” You snap and turn to face the TV. You put on the only thing you watch and Joel says…nothing. For a long time. You start from the first episode. He doesn’t talk for three and a half episodes of Jersey Shore before he turns to you. 

“What’re they doin’?” Joel asks with his eyes still partially looking at the TV. “What’s th’point of this show?” You snort and shake your head slowly. 

“There isn’t one. That’s why it’s amazing.” You turn back to the screen and enjoy your comfort show. So simple. So easy. Brain rotting. 

“Jus’...gettin’ drunk?” He doesn’t understand. 

“Yeah… they were doing a lot of coke too, but they didn't show all that.” You laugh and rub your feet along his thighs. He rubs your shins as you do that and cannot take his eyes off the TV. 

“That makes sense…” Joel trails off and goes quiet again. You flick your eyes to him intermediately to see if he’s enjoying himself. Never once does he look like he is. His nose is always wrinkled or his eyes are wide. Or he has no emotion about it at all but it’s been on for hours. Joel never complains. Once your headache is gone and now you are pandered by hunger…you turn the TV off and Joel’s head snaps to you. “What?” He wanted to keep watching, apparently. 

“I need food.” You groan and can’t fathom standing. 

“Wanna go somewhere? I can order us somethin’? I can…”

“Don’t say cook because I have no groceries.” 

“Do– do you wanna go get some?” Joel asks like you’ve been holding off on running errands to hang out with him. 

“No?” You’re so confused. 

“You don’t… need food here?” He has his brows pinched together like he doesn’t understand you. He doesn’t. Clearly. He has food in his fridge. 

“Uh… not really? I don’t cook for just myself. It all goes to waste. I eat out a lot. Order food…” You feel silly when you say it but it’s the truth. Go through all the bullshit of cooking a really good meal to sit alone and the leftovers never get touched? No. You don’t… not cook. Just…not all the time. Gotta have a craving for something from back home for you to want to cook. 

“Oh. Okay…” 

“Do you cook dinner every night? We ordered out when I stayed there..” You feel judged. 

“I cook more than I order out…” Joel might be judging you. 

“Well if you stick around maybe I’ll cook more!” You say it in annoyance of his judging eyes but then he smiles and snorts softly. 

“I ain’t goin’ nowhere. Gotta go to Mexico in six months but… I’m comin’ right back.” Joel smirks and wraps his hand around your ankle softly. 

“I don’t know what I’m gonna do without you … probably order food.” You stick your tongue out at him and he grips your ankle tighter. 

“Alright.” Joel sits up and pushes your feet off his knees gently. “Yer’ toooo fuckin’ comfortable ‘round me n' the way you talk to me?” Joel is slightly smirking when he says it but…he sounds kinda serious. “Gon’ teach you a lesson, lil girl. C’mere.” he sits up on the couch, pushes the coffee table away from his legs with his foot and pats his legs. You stand up and go to sit down but he stops you. “Oh no. Lay over top of ‘em.” He grins now. 

“What!” You take a step away from him but he has his hand on your wrist before you get too far. 

“Shut yer' fuckin' mouth n' get over here. Y’heard me. Y’wanna get spanked? Alright. Let’s go.” He nods to you over to him, pulling on your hand lightly. 

“When did I say I wanted to get spanked!?” You exclaim. This is exciting, sexy and also fucking terrifying. He was being so, so sweet a couple minutes ago and now he wants to spank you!

“I’m just gon’use my hand, baby… nothin’ crazy. No flogger, no whips.” He explains. He’s speaking like he’s trying to calm a rabid animal. Firm, but nice. 

“What the fuck is a flogger??!” You are now more terrified and a little less turned on but then you realize he said no. None of that. Just his hands… maybe. You still fight him a little. 

“That toy from that special video…” He teases and flicks his eyebrows up once. “Just using my hands today…” Joel looks so excited. 

“Your hands are so big and so strong!!” You are inching towards him though with shuffling feet. 

“I know, baby girl. It'll be okay,” Joel tugs on your hand and pulls you over his lap.

You’re staring at the black faux fur rug and wondering how you got here. You pray to Satan that you enjoy this and it’s not scary and doesn’t hurt too bad. Shit. Okay. You shiver as Joel lifts your sundress over your ass and halfway up your back. Then he shifts a bunch and leans over you partially.

“Now… I’m gon’ buy ya new ones… later today— I promise.” Joel explains but you’re confused about what he means until you hear the fabric ripping.

What is it with him and ruining your things???? He's tearing the underwear right off of you.

He doesn’t even take them all the way off– just rips them in the back right down the middle so he can have access to your bare ass. 

“Okay.” It comes out of your mouth as a whimper and you are trembling as he rubs his rough palm and pads of his fingers across both cheeks very gently. So slowly. You get goosebumps. Immediately. 

“Awwwhh. You kinda scared, lil baby?” Joel chuckles like this is so much fun for him. Scaring and teasing you. Making your heart race. It's good. So fucking good.

“Lil bit.” You mewl up to him. He laughs. Deeply. 

“Don’t be. It’s only gon’ hurt for a lil while…then Daddy makes everything better. S’how this works baby, ok?” He is being so patronizing the way he speaks-it’s fucking so hot for some reason. 

“Alright–”

And then your naked ass is greeted by his palm for the first time with real force behind it. It doesn’t knock the air out of you, not even a little, but it does sting, and it does make you hiss with clenched teeth. Then Joel's hand moves across your ass so softly, so lovingly. 

“Yer’ a good girl— you will be. Imma make you a fuckin' good girl.” Joel chuckles again softly as his hand rubs the sting out of your ass fat. It still burns a little but it’s nothing bad. You don’t hate it. “Now…do’ya know what good girls do?” So condescending. It drips out of his mouth as he talks to you. 

“What?” You purr to the floor as his fingers inch their way towards your slit. He brushes the tips of his fingers against your pussy and then leaves and goes back to rubbing your ass cheek. 

"They want more. Y’want more, Birdie-girl?”He purrs back down to you deeply, rumbling in his throat when he speaks. You nod silently. “Use that pretty fuckin’ voice you got then.” He snaps at you and grips one of your globes in his hands and jiggles it slowly. He groans happily at the sight of your body moving under his hand. 

“I want more.” You whine happily as his touch. 

“Jeesus. Okay. Listen t’me. Ya listenin'?" He confirms like you are not bent over his knees.

"Yes." 

"Good. Now shut th'fuck up n you listen good. You say: Can I have another–. N’ then you call me whatever you want. I don’ care…but you address me, ask for it, tell me whatcha want… n’ then say please..” Joel explains with a hint of annoyance in his tone and you roll your eyes. 

“Fine. Okay. Here, you ready?” You ask him, also sounding slightly annoyed. You don’t let him respond. “Can I please, please have one more, Old Man? I need it so bad. I want you to spank me… Daddy.” You lather it on for him and roll your eyes once again when you finish. Joel doesn’t say anything. His hand stays moving on your ass still. He just snickers to himself quietly. 

“You forget where the fuck yer’ layin’, y'fuckin brat?" He barks after a second. It's snapped out his mouth at you, and makes you jump. 

Your pussy is dripping. Why?? "Huh? 

"You forget what we’re fuckin' doin’? Who the fuck yer' talkin' to?” Now he is whispering, but it’s coming out of him growled and angry sounding. “Now…yer’ gon’ get a real one. That first one? Nothin’.” Joel sounds so upset--but, you think he likes this?

You dunno, not really.

Regardless, your heart is pounding, and now you’re fucking terrified. Youare so, so regretful. Why are you always being a sarcastic bitch all the time?! Shit. Shit. Fuck. He is still rubbing your ass cheek gently. 

“M'sorry, Daddy.” You whimper even though you mean to say it real strong, real powerful because you want him to know that you are really sorry.

But he chuckles at you and pinches your ass gently and his hand disappears.

Oh noo. This is gonna be so bad and you’re gonna hate it. Shit.

Then he’s going to hate you. 

“Awhhh, don’t be sorry, baby. I’m not mad.” He sounds nice again.

Like he isn’t gonna spank you again. Phew.

“I’m gon’ take you out today, shoppin’. Getchya some food. Coffee if yer’ cute lil ass wants one. If ya’ take this real good might even have a surprise for ya…” He doesn’t spank you but he’s waiting for something. You don’t know what to say. “I’ll do all that whichya anyway… but… I’d like t’spank ya real good first. Teach ya a lesson… if you’ll let me? Y'need it.” Joel is waiting for your consent. 

“And you won’t be mad if I said no?” You question him.

Joel gently– so very carefully and softly– presses his hand against your ass as he speaks comfortingly. “Never. I mean it. I like this, but y’don’t gotta. Doesn’t matter t’me. We can still go have fun n’ all do all that fun stuff anyway…” His voice is deep and even, calming and he means it. You can tell.

“Can I please have one more, Daddy, please? I’d really like you to spank me.” You are so nice. So nice and such a good girl about it-- genuinely.

He is happy with you! So happy!! He taps your ass twice gently and chuckles. “Yer’ fuckin’ great.” He chuckles a little harder and takes his place sitting straight up. “Now… it’s gon’ hurt baby. I’m sorry.” He warns you and now you’re fucking scared again. “Soon as I do it…Imma rub the sting out… n’ do something else fer’ ya, okay? But.. yer' gon' learn a lesson.” He gets your consent once more. 

“Okay.” You fuckin’ give it to him even though you are terrified because, guess what? You’re drenched. Dripping down your thighs. Soaked. You’re aching in a way you never knew your pussy could ache. It feels like your lips are on fire and they feel swollen and puffy. You wonder if he can see you looking like a desperate mess for him. Yearning for him so badly. 

Joel rubs your ass once more and then the warmth from him is gone. You wait and wonder what he’s going to say to you know to increase the anticipation but, those thoughts are all gone from your head when you hear a sharp crack from behind you and those thoughts are replaced with just blinding pain. Searing hot and focused all in the shape of Joel Miller's hand-print on your right butt cheek. Shit. That fuckin’ huuuurts . Tears come to your eyes before you really even feel the pain. The sound his hand made on you was so loud it scared the tears right into your eyes before the pain had anything to really grip onto. 

It’s gripping. Ooooh boy is it gripping. Joel’s hand rubs over the spot he just smacked and it…just keeps hurting. He is cooing to you though and the nice, and sexy things he says kinda make you feel a little better. And what he’s doing with his other hand makes you almost forget about the pain immediately. He pushes three fingers into you. Definitely more than you’ve had before. You’ve never felt so stretched and full. You can’t hold back your gasps and whimpers as he twists his fingers around inside you. 

“Yeahhh lil girl. Did so good. Didn’t even make a sound.” Joel praises you over and over. “So fuckn’ good. You did so good. I’m so fuckin’ impressed. Fuckin’ perfect.” He sounds genuine and also very excited. “You like all these fingers inside you?” Joel whispers. “Don’t forget.. I wanna hear you, lil girl.” He pushes his extremities deeper into you and continues to twist them in both directions. Stretching you.   

“Yesss...” You hiss loudly between clenched teeth. You shut your eyes as his fingers work in and out of your channel quickly. You gasp and moan softly at him inside you. His fingers are still thrusting, but also twisting inside you slowly as he pumps in and out of you. He fingers you gently for a moment, getting you used to the size and thickness of his extra finger. Once he feels less resistance and hears your whimpers turning to moan is when he starts to really thrust— pummel you with almost his whole hand it feels like.. “Oh god. Oohh fuuuck.” You groan and grip his shin and drop the other hand to the floor. “Oohhhh fuuuck, Daddy.” You moan loudly. Joel never stops, his fingers move so fast and he’s angling them down just a little to rub the pads of his fingers over your spot each time. 

“Who’s yer’ Daddy?” Joel growls down to you, the hand on your lower back sliding down to your left ass cheek to pull it apart. He spits directly onto your asshole and one rough calloused tip massages his saliva against it gently. There is no pressure against your second hole at all, just a gentle rubbing. 

“You are, old man. ” You cry out as he brings you closer to rapture and good blinding white lights behind your eyes. You want it so bad. “Please please make me come. I wanna gush on you so bad.” You’re begging so hastily. “ Pleasepleasplease .” It’s strained coming out of you. 

“Whenever you want, lil girl. Let go n’ gush all over. Make a mess. I love t'see it.” He’s speaking so encouragingly. “Just say my name when you come… like a good girl.” His fingers are going to send you there, it’s happening and he’s chuckling before you even do it. Your walls are clenching him– trying to keep him inside of you on that perfect little spot. You need just a little more. You clench your eyes now because you can– he can’t see you. 

You explode. The most powerful gush yet, maybe. You cannot say his name. You cannot even think of anything besides how to breathe. You’re also attempting to crawl off his lap like this isn’t the most incredible feeling you’ve ever experienced. Mind shattering. No white lights. It’s just silent in your head for thirty seconds and you are crying. Sobbing on his lap and you hope that everyone experiences bliss like that in their lives. 

Joel eases his fingers out of you and whistles. 

“You okay there?” He asks your sobbing, crumpled form on his lap. “It hurt? S’why yer’ cryin’?” He’s so nervous. This man probably feels like he is walking through a minefield when he is with you.

“N-N-No. It’s s-s-s-sooo good.” You stutter and then with much grace and much agility, you stand off his lap and stare at him. 

"Ohhhh lil crybaby likes getting finger fucked by Daddy? So good, it makes her cry?" He croons to you, chuckling. "I like makin' you cry like that. Gon don' do it more often." 

“You’ll do that every t-time you s-spank me?” You hold a pinky finger out to him like a literal child and he chuckles and hooks his pinky with yours. 

“Every time, lil girl. Let’s go get you a surprise.”

If Joel is going to do this kind of stuff with you when he’s done spanking you… you’ll let him do way worse. Soooo much worse. He gets you an overpriced iced coffee and doesn’t even bitch about it. You are bitching about how bad your ass hurts in the passenger seat though. So that’s probably why he doesn’t say anything. Then he takes you to the mall. A place you haven’t been in so long because you don’t really need to stop. You loved shopping in Jersey but… it doesn’t feel the same down here. Spending money doesn’t make you happy the way it used to. 

Watching Joel happily and willingly spend his money on you is making you happy though, and you never cared about this shit before. Honestly, none of the guys you ever talked to before could do this… just… treat you? All the time? You didn’t even really want him to spend his money on you. His time and him holding your hand around the mall was literally more than enough. So much more. 

“I like these.” Joel speaks very quietly and it almost doesn’t look like he’s talking at all.

“Do you even want to be in here? You can go look at whatever guys look at in the mall while I buy this stuff.” You whisper back to him, because you’re not trying to embarrass him in Victoria’s Secret. He does not look like he wants to be in here though. He actually looks like he might be blushing a little as he eyes people walking by— they’re not even paying attention to him. No one is looking at either of you. 

“I like bein’ involved.” Joel snaps softly and innocently. He is embarrassed though. 

“Did you never come in here with your ex or buy stuff for her?” You question back in a whisper. 

“No. I ain’t have money to do all this back then. Hell no. She didn’t fuckin’ deserve all this anyway.” He whispers directly into your ear so no one will hear that. 

“Okay!” You whisper. “Which ones did you like?” You look down and he has his finger already pointed at a black lace pair. “Is that your favorite color?” You ask softly and look up at him. He’s shaking his head no and then nods down back to the table of sexy underwear. Now he’s pointing to a cheeky cotton pair that are very plain but they're hunter green.

“That.” He says sharply but again, innocently. He’s on edge, poor old man. You grab both pairs he pointed out and go to walk away but he snatches you by the elbow and pulls you back. “Get more.” He urges and points to another pair. Hot pink. So pink and so bright. “Those.” He whispers again, directly into your ear. And then he’s pointing to all different colors and styles. You get six more pairs and then he’s pulling you further into the store…the sexy side of the store.

“You involved in the process for this too or this all me?” You smirk up at him and his fingers pinch at your side softly. 

“You liked that lil blue thang or…you want somethin’ else” Joel is still whispering but his eyebrows are raised curiously. 

“Well…it’s more for you—”

“Oh naw it isn’t… I want you t’feel pretty n’ sexy. Whatchya like? What makes y’feel sexy, lil girl?” His voice and breath in your ear makes you shiver. That lil sexy blue thang did make you feel sexy. It did. You grab something that is similar in black. The only other color they have is white and you… dunno. Don’t like it. 

“Okay.” You smile up at him very happily and hold all your things in your hand. Joel looks around briefly and points with just his finger– his hand is still down by his side when he points. 

“That one.” He whispers and you follow his gaze and then his fingers and he’s pointing to a white babydoll style corset top with a flowy tulle skirt– also white and very see through. It comes with a matching thong. Not something you would pick out…but he seems to like it so, you grab one and are done spending his money now. 

You think.

Joel is driving towards your house but then he turns left when he should turn right. You furrow your brows when he does that but he smirks like he know what he’s doing and where he is going. 

“What’re you up to?” You give him genuine confusion because he’s been so quiet since you left the mall. You kinda have too. You have an excuse though. You’re hungover and also, buttcheek. It still hurts. You might have to ice it. 

“Don’ worry ‘bout it.” Joel shakes his head at you, but he does offer you his big, perfect hand to hold. You accept it happily and just shut up. Happy to be here. Along for whatever he’s gotta do today. You have a little headache, but…it’ll be fine. You’ll nap when you get home.

“Whaddya gotta get here?” You ask nosily. What new electronic could he need. He had a giant fucking TV and a nice sound system at his house. A nice TV in his room too. He lifts his ass a little and reaches into his back pocket. Joel pulls out his wallet, opens it up and hands you his card. 

“Nothin’...but you do.” He narrows his eyes on yours and smirks. You pinch your brows together in confusion. 

“Huh? I dunno what you want in there. I’m not getting the wrong thing just for you to have to go in there with me, return what I got, and then pick out the right one. Come in.’ You hand his card back him but he doesn’t take it. 

“I’m gonna roll us a lil somethin’. I don’t need nothin’. Go get yer’self somethin’. You deserve it. I was an asshole.” He sighs loudly. “Should’a called you that night n’ told you how I was feelin’. N’ I didn’t. I wasn’t gonna call you again…” Joel admits quietly. “Then I saw ya at the store.. N’... I dunno…” He trails off and looks like he has more to say. But he just sucks his teeth and then nods his head towards the store. “Go get yer’ lil computer.” Joel leans in over the console and waits for you to lean in as well. 

“You sure?” You blink at him and he nods. 

“I am.” He is still waiting for you to kiss him. You lean forward and he tangles his fingers in your hair on either side of your head and holds you and inch away. Your eyes scan trace along each others faces for second before he speaks. “Claimin’ you right now. Don’t give yer’ number out ‘cause yer’ nervous that I don’t like ya. I do. Shut up. Go get yer’ computer… n’ then lets go relax a lil. You can give me a lil fashion show…then I wanna do somethin’ else witchya.” Joel grins. “Go.” 

You go to grab your purse because… you’re not going to use his card. You have money. More money now that he paid for you window to the truck. You’re not going to tell him that you’re going to pay. It’ll be a lil trick and then he can do nothing about it. Ha. You’ll already have the computer. And he will have his card back.

You open the door and Joel whistles sharply at you. Not a sexy whistle. An attention grabbing whistle. You snap your head to him and he has his hand out. You look down at it and then back up at him. 

“What?” You blink at him and his open, empty hand. 

“Wallet– leave the whole purse— you can take yer’ ID but, leave everything else.” Joel is smirking at you now. “I’m not that big n’ dumb.” 

“You don’t need to buy me a computer. You paid for my window. That’s enough.” You put his card back in his hand and he rolls his eyes and opens his door. 

“Let’s go. Makin’ it fuckin' difficult. Must wanna ‘nother fuckin' spankin’ on the other side when we get home.” Joel mumbles to himself but he doesn’t sound mad or anything. He’s teasing you. You’re learnin’ him. Figurin’ his scowling ass out. Kinda nice, actually. 

You are floating into the electronics store. Absolutely floating. He likes you? Claiming you? No one’s ever…claimed you before and it’s hot. So hot. Why is Joel so hot? It’s not fair. It really isn’t. Now he wants to buy you a new computer. He is holding your freaking hand again in public with so many people around. 

“Get whatever you want. I don’t care.” Joel mocks annoyance as you look for a computer but he squeezes your hand when he does it. You get the same one you had. It was perfect and you loved it and don’t need a different one. 

As soon as you get in the car and put your computer in the backseat you’re crawling into his lap over the console and straddling him. Kissing him, smothering him because he is perfect. Joel runs his hands along your back and ass and squeezes you. Deep kissing, such deep desperate kisses that flick and tease every inch of your mouth. They make you dizzy. 

Joel is the one to pull away but it’s so he can tilt your head to the side with his gentleness and kiss along your jaw and under your chin and down your neck. 

“Thank you.” You pant as he kisses down into your exposed cleavage as far as he can until your shirt and breasts won't let him. He groans in frustration and his hands leave your ass and he uses one to grab at the neckline of your shirt. He glances around in every direction and there’s no one around. A lot of cars but no bodies… yet. His fingers worm their way into your bra and then he pulls down and exposes you to him and anyone else in the parking lot who could possibly come out of a store and see this monstrosity. 

Neither of you care as he wraps his mouth around your hardening bud and nibbles down on it gently and looks up at you as you stare down at him. His tongue flicks at it between his teeth until he makes you moan– then he smirks and sucks it into his mouth as it ungulates the flat of his tongue along it slowly while applying suction. He makes you moan again. He does that until your hips start to move on his– your back accidentally presses into the horn on the steering wheel and honks loudly until you pull away. You both jump and then he pulls away from you with a loud, wet sucking sound. 

“Get offa me you horny Bird. Jeesus.” He lets your shirt go and is pushing you off his body and into your own seat. “Gonna get us arrested. Public indecency.” He’s smirking when he says it and also adjusting his jeans near his groin because he’s a lil tight down there now.

Back at the house Joel is sitting in just his boxers on the bed, smoking– which…sonofabitch it shouldn’t be hot, but it kind of is… A lot. A lot hot. Shit. You’re in the bathroom with all your new sexy panties but you’re not trying them on. No. You’re in that sexy black lace getup with a pair of black thigh highs that came with it and that fucking belt. This one took so long to get hooked into the god forsaken stockings. You’re fine now though– all hooked and strapped and tied in. He better not fucking rip this thing. 

You take a deep breath and open the door. Joel is waiting for you and he likes what he sees. He was already teasing himself through his boxers when you went into the bathroom and now as you’re walking out, Joel holds the joint between his lips so he can free himself from his boxers and wrap his fist around it. 

“Spin.” It’s a soft spoken demand while his fist tugs at his hardening length. You spin slowly with your hands held out at your waist. He rumbles in his throat as you do. “Now…face the other way n’ bed over.” You’re smirking stupidly as he pulls his fist away from his hand to noisily spit into his hand and then he palms it over the head of his cock before he starts to stroke himself. You’re watching with your mouth hanging open like an idiot. “You like when I do this, huh?” He strokes himself more dramatically as you watch and nod your head. “I’ll give ya a show. Turn around, lil girl. Lemme see that ass.” He sighs softly as he squeezes at the base and slowly moves his fist upwards. 

You wanna look at it. You don’t wanna turn around. But you are and you're bending at the waist with your legs together so he can see you through the lace. Joel hums happily and then, for some reason you spread your legs slightly and snake your hand up your middle from between your legs over the lace, and trace the outline of your cunt for him. He inhales sharply. 

“Get over here.” Joel growls at you and you skip to the bed and crawl in next to him but he holds his hand up to stop you. “Listen– you ready?” He smirks at you. “Lay with your head down there…” He points to the end of the bed near the corner. “N’ then put one leg here.” He points to his legs. “N’ the other right here.” Now he taps your shoulder. “I know that was a lot n’ yer’ all distracted.” He smirks as your eyes flash quickly between his talking face and him jerking his hard cock slowly– pacing himself. 

The position he wants you in leaves your lace covered pussy completely exposed to him but he’s not putting anything inside you. Joel just wants to touch your pussy through the lace. Right over the outside of it is gentle and sometimes his hand will rub your inner thigh. You’re up on your elbows watching him worship you. And he loves to talk. Loves to speak and make you hear him. He wants you to speak back to him when he prompts you. He's teaching you...

“Yer’ gonna ride this hard cock soon, you excited?” He growls as he rubs the pads of his fingers along the lace. You can feel the heat of him through the delicate, barely-there fabric. 

“Yes, Daddy.” You bat your eyelashes at him and nod. He grunts soft and pushes his hips up into his fist. 

“Can’t wait to feel how fuckin’ tight you are, baby. Fuck.” Joel’s eyes flick between yours and what his hand is doing to your hidden cunt lips. “Yer’ gonna be s’fuckin’ tight.” You don’t know why he sounds angry…it doesn’t bother you anymore. It’s just…Joel. And that’s fine. He’s not angry at you. You know this now, so, you don’t care. 

“I can’t wait to feel you inside me– feel your big cock stretching me.” You purr to him and he moans softly. 

“Don’t I fuckin’ know it.” Joel holds up his fingers and they’re glistening. “Yer’ fuckin’ leakin’ like a slutty lil thing...but you ain't.” He chuckles and pushes his fingers back against your pussy. “S’fuckin’ hot. Put my hard cock in you while you wear this. Gonna make this my pussy soon. Claim it.” Joel says it like he’s thinking about doing it but he stays still and his hand just moves on him faster. “Say yer’ a good girl.” Joel whispers to you. 

“I’m a good girl, old man. You don’t think I am?” You pout at him and run two of your fingers over one of your nipples through the cup of the lace bra. “I’m a very good girl.” You bite your bottom lip now and try to hide a smirk as his body jerks softly to this statement and his hand pumps up and down on him with more meaning and now his hips are moving slightly as he touches himself listening to your voice. 

“Y’like t’be bad though, right?” Joel pushes down on your clit gently and smirks. You nod and sigh softly. 

“I love bein’ bad with you, Mr. Miller.” You coo to him. “Love when you touch me n’ make me say naughty things.” You whisper it now and Joel is watching your mouth move, rubbing his fingers gently against your bundle over the lace. He wants to come, maybe needs to. He’s doing everything to himself and you just get to watch? “I love looking at your hard cock.” You mewl to him and his stomach clenches softly. 

“Don’t stop. K-Keep talkin’.” He stammers over his pleasure and it’s immaculate watching his strong arms flex as he strokes himself vigorously. "How bad, baby?" His body is twitching and clenching uncontrollably and now his hand grips at the meat on your inner thigh in not the most flattering way, but he loves it. “S–so fuckin’ soft.” 

“You like my soft skin, Daddy?” You purr and put one hand over your pussy and mimic what he had been doing, rubbing just around the outside. “You excited to come in my soft, tight pussy, old man?” You grin as he groans while you speak. Then Joel paints his chest and stomach with ropes of white. He groans loudly and deeply through his orgasm, puffing air out of flared nostrils heavily as he milks his cock slowly, the almost purple tip of him disappears within his fist and he covers his palm and fingers in his release. He drags his fist back down the length, smearing it down his shaft as he continues to thrust through the release. 

“Fuck.” He spits it out and lets his head fall back against the pillows he set up for himself. “Holy fuck.” His eyes are closed and he’s breathing so heavily. 

“Does… okay… be honest with me.” You ask with all of your breath, because you didn’t just come. He is sitting there with his eyes closed, listening to fast talk with his own release on his hand, stomach and chest. “Does it feel better when you do that…or when I’m on top of you?” You stare at him awaiting a response. 

“Uh.. I dunno. Feels… uh…different.” Joel answers in between deep breathing. 

“Like a better different or a weird different?” You ask casually, tipping your head from one side to the other. 

“Not weird different. Not better either.” Joel shakes his head but his eyes are still closed. “Stronger.” Joel says after a minute. 

“When you do it.” You make a statement because it is not a question. He came… so hard when he did that to himself. He didn’t come that hard the two times you did what you do on him— the moving and grinding. 

“Uh.. yeah. Kinda.” Joel isn’t looking at you. “S’not a bad thing—”

“I didn’t say it was!” You exclaim. “I’d just rather see you come like that.” You nod your head even though he isn’t looking at you. “Fuckin’ hiding it in your boxers. Lemme see that shit.”

"Yer' gonna let me come inside you?" Joel flicks his eyebrows up. "Really make that pussy mine when I fuck you? Or jus' talkin'?" Joel asks with his eyes still closed. You don't respond. Not with words.

You sit up and take his hand in yours and drag your tongue along the back of his and and run it between his fingers. This makes him open his eyes. Now he’s smirking watching your tongue clean up every drop he spilled. Off his soft stomach and his strong and broad chest. 

You’re going to do this. You’re right here and it's going to happen. Okay. 

You lean forward and Joel is waiting. He’s right there, leaning in to kiss you. Once your lips touch, he opens his mouth and parts your lips with his. It’s messy and starts to drip down out of the corners of your mouth as he swirls his tongue around with yours. His release and your saliva mixture coating each other's tongues. You feel it dripping down your chin and your neck as he deepens the kiss and you pass what you had just licked off of him…back to him. He is huffing through his nose heavily while you do this.

It is really fucking hot and messy. Sticky. Without breaking the kiss, Joel moves to hover over you, laying you back down on the bed and now with gravity on his side, he transfers it all back to you. He pulls away and looks down at you, his lips are shiny and wet-- sticky.

“Swallow it.” He stares down at you as he licks his bottom lip. You do and watch as leans into you and now with your empty mouth you can kiss and lick and suck any access off of him. “Good fuckin’ girl. Perfect.”

THIS IS MY WARNING TO ALL OF YOU INVESTED RIGHT NOW: I WRITE MEN GOOD, I DON'T ALWAYS WRITE GOOD MEN, OKAY?

That being said, Joel isn't really a bad guy-- just doesn't fuckin' know. Okay? Is he a little toxic? Sure. Is that not great? SURE.

Do I love it!? HELL YES.

tag list: @immyowndefender @korikolove @untamedheart81 @fanficlover1414, @creepycorbeaux @ohmillerbaby @rosebuds-and-moonlight @harriedandharassed (you'll have to read the other chapters, but I'm tagging you anyway)

[bucksfucks]

  𝙙𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙢𝙨 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙢𝙪𝙧𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙙 𝙢𝙚

      TFATWS EPISODE THREE SPOILERS.

summary┃the plan was simple. get in, get out, and always remember rule number three; no one gets hurt.

pairing┃tws!bucky x f!reader

word count┃1,935 words

warnings┃dubcon elements, soft!dark!tws, semi-public sex, choking, spitting kink, metal arm kink, soldat kink, death threat, degradation, mocking, orgasm denial, multiple orgasms, unprotected sex — 18+ ONLY//MINORS DNI

notes┃PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH ANY MENTIONED ELEMENTS.

     “Is the plan understood?” It’s Zemo who asks the question, nodding to each of you as you all exchange looks before heading your separate ways.

    When you enter the scene, you can feel the floor shaking under your feet from the bass. Drinks are passed around with bodies floating through the space.

    “And I thought we knew how to party in New York.” Your voice is muffled over the music, but you know Bucky can hear you.

    “I haven’t partied like this ever.” He has to yell back in order for you to hear him as you both laugh.

    You have to push your way through the crowd before stopping at where Sam and Zemo are left waiting for you.

    Zemo nods towards Bucky, Bucky taking in a deep breath before giving him one nod.

    He’s wearing something you’d never seen him in; Winter Soldier gear sans the mask.

    “Longing.” You can see the twitch in Bucky’s metal fingers.

    “Rusted.” It gets worse as he tenses his jaw.

    “Furnace.” You have to look away when you see the pained look in his face.

    Sam looks at you, a look that tells you to stick to the plan so you drift back and mix into the crowd.

    You were nothing but a distraction, a distraction that would hopefully buy you guys some time.

    But something went wrong.

    Something always goes wrong.

    You can see the obvious and evident switch in Bucky—there’s something more sinister in his eyes now as he watches you move from side to side; standing completely motionless and trained on you.

    There’s a moment of realization when you realize just what’s happened.

    A moment of oh fuck before he’s striding over to you and grasping at your upper arms.

    “Come with me, Bunny. We have some unfinished business.” His voice is low and calm, parts of Bucky shining through, but you can’t seem to find him in his eyes.

    “Bucky,” you try remain calm, but his hip is firm and you know that this is a battle you won’t win in.

    You can’t help it when your voice falters in fear, but you can’t afford to bring any attention to yourself.

    Sam is elsewhere, Zemo in tow as your eyes dart to find them—at the bar, drinking.

    You were all alone, you had no backup; Bucky was your backup.

    He was no longer Bucky, but the Winter Soldier.

    “I said come. Don’t make me put you over my shoulder.” He threatened as you swallowed thickly.

    You quickly search for Sam or Zemo, but they’re long gone. The distraction worked and they’d be proceeding with the plan.

    What they didn’t know is that Bucky wasn’t Bucky.

    It didn’t feel like a threat, you felt your pussy jump in excitement at the prospect of Bucky’s hands on your body.

    Your feet moved instinctually through the crowd, lead by Bucky as he took one final scan of the room to make sure that you were alone; that no one was following you.

    You didn’t feel helpless, it was more than you felt like you were under a spell—inclined to do whatever Bucky wanted.

    Suddenly you were slammed up against a wall, the air being knocked out of your lungs as you let out a pained hiss.

    “Scream, and I’ll kill you.” He looked feral.

    “Try to fight back, and I’ll kill you.” Darkness consumed his eyes.

    “Do anything other than what I tell you, and I’ll kill you.”

    You want to scream, to kick and fight back—you know that you damn well could put up on hell of a fight.

    But you don’t.

    Instead, you submit and comply.

    “Yes,” you whisper, watching the smirk spread across his face.

    “There’s my good girl. A dumb and stupid, but a good girl.” He purrs, running his gloved finger down your cheek until it’s hooked under your chin.

    You whimper, lip shaking with your sharp inhale.

    “Bucky,” you croak before your face is tightly gripped between his fingers as he snarls and shows you his teeth.

    “You will call me, Soldat.” He rasped, dark and sinister with no mercy in sight.

    A silent mewl escaped through your parted lips as you shut your eyes tightly, trying to steady your breathing as your heart begged to be set free.

    “What’s my name?” He asks you, a test of your loyalty as you pry your eyes open.

    “Soldat,” you whisper back, a pleased smile on his face as he hears the syllables leave your lips.

    “Good, maybe you aren’t as useless as I thought.” He snickers, dropping your face but trapping you against the wall with his flesh forearm against your neck.

    Your airway is constricted for a second, laboured and painful before Bucky is pulling you off of the wall.

    “Follow me,” he barks, tugging you by the back of the neck until you budge.

    His strides are long as you’re forced to keep up with him, walking through hallways so robotically with a stiff body.

    You don’t know where you’re going, but the booming music is getting softer.....quieter, straying further and further out of your reach.

    Bucky’s shoulders look huge, absolutely massive in the tight leather outfit he’s wearing. You know he’s in there somewhere, you just don’t know how to reach him.

    But maybe you don’t want to.

    Suddenly, you’re pushed against a wall, with his metal hand covering your mouth as your eyes go wide and you try to gasp.

    “Don’t scream, Bunny.” He purrs, smirking as you hear two sets of footsteps go past you, completely unaware that there’s someone else in their presence.

    Your heart is in your throat when he removes his hand, tugging you off the wall again so he’s holding your entire body weight up with his arm.

    “Good girl, you learn quickly.” He praises, finger hooked up your chin. His lips hover right over yours, brushing them slightly—just enough to leave you wanting more.

    There’s a flutter in your stomach, a feeling akin to when you’ve gone over a large hill or descended on a roller coaster; exciting and terrifying all at once.

    “I’ve always been so,” he trails his finger down your jaw, “intrigued by you.”

    You don’t know what it means, but you want to.

    You’re shoved into a small room, a closet that barely fits the two of you. It’s dark and smells like aged wood.

    His thigh is wedged between your legs, “always following orders.” He hums against your ear, nipping the skin below it.

    “A Soldat’s dream,” it’s dark, the way he refers to himself.

    “You’re gonna let me do whatever I want to you, Bunny.”

    It’s not a question, you don’t have a choice, you’ve unwittingly sealed your fate as he meshes his lips against yours.

    It’s overwhelming; his thick, padded thigh creating delicious friction against your cunt. Or the way his teeth sink into your bottom lip, tugging it to hear your soft whimpers.

    You feel the wet, hot tell-tale signs of tears roll down your cheeks as Bucky pulls away to cradle your face.

    It’s dark but your eyes are fully adjusted. It’s just too bad that you can see nothing else but darkness in his eyes.

    “There’s no need to cry, Bunny,” he cooes, “I will take care of you.”

    You’re unsure why you trust him, why you feel your body giving into him, but that’s what happens next.

    A sinister chuckle passes through his lips as he tugs your pants down.

    “I can smell you already,” he hisses, his cock hardening against your hip.

    “You can try to fight me, Bunny. But your body tells me that you want this, that you need my cock filling you up.”

    Your pussy jumps at his words, breathing ragged and heavy as the ache in your core burns right through you.

    Your mouth falls open when you hear the whirring of his bionic fingers massage you slowly through your panties.

    “I never said I wouldn’t make this enjoyable for you,” he smirks, watching you closely as your hands go to the vest he’s wearing.

    He snarls, grabbing them at your wrists and lifting them over your head as you shudder at his strength.

    If he wanted to kill you, he would’ve already.

    “Maybe you are stupid,” he hisses. “Did I give you permission to touch?” He asks.

    He nudges your clit with more force making you squeak.

    He wanted an answer.

    “N-no, Soldat.” You croak, feeling an sensation of...fulfillment when he smiles.

    “Good little Bunny.” He sing-songs, “so wet and responsive.”

    You gasp, mewl, arch your back as he slips two vibranium fingers into you. A shiver runs down your spine at the coolness of them, your walls welcoming them warmly.

    “Can you hear that?” He asks, “hear how fuckin’ wet you are?”

    You can, you can hear your wetness coating his fingers as he pumps them inside of you.

    It’s absolutely filthy.

    His other hand drops your wrists to your sides, flesh fingers crawling around your neck.

    “Look at me, Bunny.” You don’t need to be told twice as your eyes shoot open.

    “Open that pretty little mouth of you,” his voice is low and raspy, but collected despite his aching cock pressed against your hip.

    His thumb presses into your bottom lip, folding it down to encourage you to open your mouth. Which you do, because he’s just too damn compelling.

    You gasp back a moan, thick digits inside of your cunt now brushing that sweet, sweet, sweet spot as you watch Bucky’s saliva trail into your own mouth.

    “Mine.” He growls, forcing your mouth closed, watching you swallow.

    Your heartbeat reverberates in your ears, blood soaring to and from your heart as you feel yourself clenching around him.

    “All. Fucking. Mine.” His words send you toppling over the edge, legs shaking and convulsing gently as he has to hold you up as you come.

    There’s a zip, a tug of something, a gasp for breath as you feel his cock at your entrance.

    “There’s no running now, Bunny. I’m gonna consume you,” he snarls, pushing himself past the threshold as he groans at the feeling of your wetness.

    You’re forced to dig your fingernails into the leather of his jacket—clawing at it as you relish in the stretch.

    He grunts with every powerful thrust, his chest colliding with your chest as he holds you up with ease.

    He’s using you. Eyebrows taut as he focuses on one thing and one thing only; his carnal instincts.

    “Shut up,” he seethes, shoving his fingers into your mouth.

    They’re cool, tasting like your own arousal and something you can’t quite decipher.

    “Say my name, say it.” He pants into your ear, something in his voice breaking.

    “S-Soldat.” You choke out, trying to focus on the words that are coming out of your mouth.

    “My name,” he whispers, “say, my name.”

    Your heart hiccups as you open your eyes, “Bucky.”

    He’s there, he’s looking at you—holding you tightly as you can see the same light in his eyes that you did just an hour ago.

    “Bucky.” You say with more conviction, more confidently as you crash your lips on his.

    “Your name is Bucky.” You whisper against his lips, feeling pleasure seeping in through your toes and spreading upwards.

    The air is thick and hot, sticky and wet as you both catch your breaths.

    You don’t trust your own legs to hold you weight, but when they hit the solid marble floor, you don’t have a choice.

    “My name is Bucky,” he whispers, holding your face in one hand.

    “But you are still my Bunny.”

[bonbonthedragon]

Meeting You Changed Me

Dad!bakugou x fem!reader

A series

Summary: When Bakugou leaves an ugly divorce, leaving him as a single dad he never can imagine himself finding love again, not when he was never actually in love. People manipulate and lie and he can’t trust anyone but those close to him and now protect what he has left. But maybe...just maybe he can give her a chance.

Warnings: lots of cursing, future spoilers prob., future angst, future possible smut, I believe that’s all :)

Series Masterlist

“Hey man, we’re here for you.”

“Fuck off Shitty Hair. I know that.” The blond growled into the phone, “‘S not like this is all a bad thing, she was fucking crazy.”

Kirishima laughed. “Yeah, your right about that. Kioko was a little...different.”

“Tch, anyone could see that.” Bakugou snorted. He looked up at the tall stairs of the marble court house, a sigh escaping his lips. “I’m here. Gotta go. Thanks for watching the kid, tell Tatsumi I’ll be back soon.”

“Yup! Best luck man.”

Bakugou huffed before hanging up, stuffing his phone in his back pocket. Every step was dreadful but equally just as joyful. The papers felt like fire in his hand. He knew what this would do to Tatsumi, no kid deserves to go through this. This was the last thing he wanted to do to the poor guy, especially since he was gone enough on work. But this was all her fault! Damn crazy ass woman. He should never have dated in the first place, let alone marry!

Everything hit when his fingers hit the steel of the Handel, pulling it open and the casual office smell hit his face. Ug. Heels clacked, buttons beeped and the chatting of civilians filled the space. Bakugou grumbled as he looked around, reading signs until he found the line he needed to be in. God this was the last place he wanted to be, he could be have a relaxing day with his son, but no, his day off was spent at a damn court house. Fucking unbelievable!

“Name?” The attendant asked as he came up

“Bakugou katsuki”

“Date of birth and age?”

“April 20, 2134. I’m 25”

“Ok Mr.Bakugou, what brings you here today?”

He shoved the papers on the desk, so aggressively it made the woman flinch “Need to finalize these divorce papers.”

“Y-yes, of course sir.” The woman bent down and rummaged through some drawers before coming back up, adjusting her glasses and shuffling through them. Attaching the small stack to a clip board, she pulled out a pen and handed the pile to him. “If you will just take a seat and take the time to fill these out and bring them back up to me, we should get that taken care for you right away!”

Grunting, he snatched the board out from her hands and marched off. Damn useless paperwork. Stupid place was crowded. The hero looked around for a bit before finally finding a seat against the wall. He went over to it, sending a shadow over the person taking the seat next to the empty one.

“Can I sit here?”

The lady perked, almost startled as she looked up and back down to the empty seat, the one her bag had taken up. “Oh! Of course! Sorry, old habit of mine.” She gathered her things and stuffed them back into the bag, delivering it to sit on the floor between her feet.

He grunted a thanks before joining her. Bakugou stole a glance at the woman, her eyebrows furrowed in concentration over the paperwork given, but her eyes were clouded almost. He shouldn’t be staring, she was non of his god damn business. His own brows knitted together as he eyed his stack. This is going to take forever.

The blond looked up at the clock, it’s only been 20 minutes and he hasn’t gotten far. Why repeat so much information? Jeez just take his social security once, not 300 times! He began to check the boxes, he swears he filled this exact same thing out when he picked up the papers a month ago.

Can you provide for the child? Yes.

Are your financially stable to take care of a child on your own? Yes.

Can you be at home with the child? Uh- yes...most of the time.

What are the hours of your work? Oh, well that varies.

“Fuckin’ hell.” He grumbled, bringing a hand to rub at his temple. Bakugou tilt his head back and groaned internally, coming back down to his gaze going back to her. She still sat next to him, more diligent with her paperwork than he. Glaring, he got back to work. No way this lady was going to finish before him, no damn way. Even if she was here before him. So he got to work. He got up, smirking at his papers and going to give it back to the attendant to which she told him to go sit back down a new wait for her to call him. Fucking hell.

Bakugou went back, falling back into the fancy leather seat. He pulled out his phone, no messages or calls. Nothing in the news either. He didn’t have any games nor would he start now, damn waste of space. So he found himself turning his head.

“Oi,”

She perked up again, the same way when he approached. “Yes?”

“You know who I am?”

The fog in her eyes casted away as she fixed them on the man. Her head tilted a bit, studying his features “no, I don’t believe so. Sorry.”

He huffed, frown appearing.

“What is your name?” She asked, legs crossing.

He set his eyes back to her. “Bakugou Katsuki”

“Oh, well...nice to meet you Bakugou.” She smiled, “I’m (L/n) (Y/n)” and she reached out a hand.

He huffed again, taking it. “What’re you here for?” Not an appropriate question, but god he was so bored.

(Y/n) stiffened just a bit, enough for him to catch “oh, ya know, court stuff.” She shrugged. Fair, he wasn’t going to get all in her business. “You? If you don’t mind me asking.”

No, he didn’t mind at all, surprisingly. “Court shit” he mimicked with a smirk, making her giggle just a bit. “Naw, divorce papers”

“Oh...I’m sorry.”

“Tch, don’t be, she was a crazy bitch. Should have left her ass years ago.”

“May I ask what happen?”

He shrugged. “Cheated on me. Wasn’t a surprise though, saw it coming. Would have left her even if she didn’t honestly. Feel bad about the squirt though.” He mumbled the last part.

“You have kids?”

“One, he’s four.” He had no clue why he was poring his life to you, but for some reason he really wasn’t minding it. “Wasn’t planned at all. Dated her for almost a year and was sure she was the one, then things got bad fast and she changed. But she told me she was pregnant and it was mine, so we got married. Hell throughout. Thought I could deal with it but she’s so fucking toxic. So no, I’m not surprised any of this is happening, if anything I’m relieved. Should have left her ass before all this shit happened, then I wouldn’t be stuck in this mess.”

(Y/n) stayed quiet for a minute, and he almost apologized for probably making her uncomfortable. Since when does he apologize? Then she spoke. “But look what you got out of it. You love your son, don’t you?”

“Of fucking course. I’d run into a burning building for that brat. That’s a stupid question.”

“Then there you go” she hummed

He stared at her for a good minute, her gaze still on the last page of her paperwork. Before he could open his mouth, he was interrupted.

“Miss (L/n)?”

A police officer stood in front of her and she stood immediately “yes?”

The man took out a rather large plastic bag, taking the clip board she handed him “just sign here and you can go.”

“Finally” she sighed, taking the pen and quickly signing, eagerly taking the ziplock bag from his hands “thank you so much, I’ve been waiting a year.”

“Sorry ma’am, but you know how it is.”

“You lot need to fix your damn system” she snarked under her breath. The blond was almost taken back by her sudden change in demeanor against the officer, and to the police no less!

The man rolled his eyes and walked away. (Y/n) sat back down and opened the bag. A light blue, slightly singed, blanket that was stuffed in there. Along with a small AllMight backpack that had been flattened and emptied, crayon box, notebook, and a small yellow cloth that was too darkened by some kind of burn. The woman seemed to go frantic, pulling out each item and looking through them thoroughly. She stood abruptly. “Stop right there you damn prick” she shouted at the officer.

Katsuki’s own heart almost stopped because yelling at a member of the police? Even as a top 10 hero he couldn’t get away with that. Something in him almost tingled when he saw the fire in her eyes, her hands balled at her sides and standing her ground.

the officer stopped and turned around. (Y/n) stomped toward the much larger man and poked at his chest with a single finger “where’s the bunny?”

“I don’t-“

“You know damn well what I’m talking about. Where is it”

Never in bakugou’s life did he think someone else swearing as much as he would be this attractive. What what-

“Ma’am, that stays for classified information and evidence.”

She only frowned more. “Evidence my ass, I was promised everything that was found and left.”

The two stared at each other, the other civilians in the room seeming to hold their breath at the scene. The officer sighed, shaking his head and motioning to another deputy. He shared a few words before eyeing (y/n) again and walking off. She took a stance and continued to eye the second officer as she waited, arms crossed and foot tapping against the marble flooring. The man seemed to writhe under her intense stare before the other man came back and handed her another bag, this one black and smaller. She snatched it from him with a glare and stomped back to the chair.

Bakugou raised an eyebrow as she took her seat again. (Y/n) opened the bag and pulled out a small blue stuffed bunny, matching the other items in damage, stained in soot. She grumbled under her breath as she checked it, but her eyes softening. Her finger stroked it gently before reaching in the clear bag and taking out the smaller yellow cloth. Un-doing the Velcro, she put it around the bunny as a cape. He watched as she looked longly at it, setting it carefully back in her own purse and zipping up the other things. She stood, turning just as bakugou’s name was called.

“Well it was nice meeting you” she smiled.

“Yeah, you too.” Bakugou gruffed out. He wasn’t going to mention what just happen.

Katsuki continued to observe the mysterious woman, her purse tightly clutched to her side as she pushed open the large doors and out the building. Huh.

“Last call up for Bakugou Katsuki” the intervals chimed

he growled “yeah yeah I’m coming!”

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[chifuyuzu]

leap of faith — sano manjiro x reader.

word count — 1.3k.

genre — fluff fluff fluff, i love sweet mikey.

contains — cursing, timeskip SPOILERS present, reader is gender neutral.

description — sano manjiro is in love with you, and he realizes how much he loves you at the ass crack of fuckin' dawn.

author's note — hey besties, this is my first published fic here, kinda short but mikey brain rot is heavy. i hope you enjoy this cute fic before i rip your hearts out with some angst in a few days :^) reblogs and likes are always appreciated! and please give me feedback in my inbox! hehe, enjoy.

“it’s late.”

you know. but you still wanted to hear the sound of his voice before bed.

“mm… i missed ya’, is that a crime?” your voice echos through the receiver, the sound of your duvet crinkling in the background as you shift in place. sano manjiro was a busy man. always has been, always will be. being the leader of a biker gang was never easy—let alone some “new age” criminal organization.

you didn’t understand why manjiro persisted to play this game of russian roulette with his life. but it was never your place to overstep, especially since this was his life. it was all he knew, all he understood. you’re not sure what he’s doing, or if he’s even allowed to talk on the phone at this hour, but you still wanted to hear him. just so you know he’s alive and well.

you hear him chuckle, the sound of his feet scurrying against whatever floor his sandals were clacking against. the background noise that accompanied him earlier has dissipated; you realized he probably went outside to hear you better.

“your crime is loving a fool like me way too much. don’t think you’re sane.” he’s right. you’re actually crazy for even pursuing him. there was a lot of push and shove in the beginning, both parties scared of being hurt and getting hurt. but you were always there, even when manjiro went through whatever darkness was eating at his soul.

“crazy for you.”

“corny.”

“you love me.”

a pause. eerie enough to send shivers down your spine. why wasn’t he responding? did something happen? did you smother him too much? is he regretting—

“marry me.”

… not what you were expecting. especially not over the phone.

“sano manjiro, did you just propose over the phone? what kind of shitty rom-com are we in?”

“is that a no?”

“... never said that.” you wanted to marry him. but you wanted him to put that lifestyle behind, for the sake of the family you might have in the future. kids, dogs, cats, etcetera. you wanted him to be in, one hundred percent. but you knew he was too deep into this world to run now—especially since he’s so well-known as the ‘invincible mikey.’ you still longed for a happy home with manjiro, and a normal life.

“maybe you’re right. it’s not my style to ask you this over the phone.”

“try again later. when you’re really ready.”

the gag is, he is ready.

manjiro hurries home, blond locks hidden underneath a thin, black hoodie. he’s shaking, like a pomeranian in the presence of fireworks. his hand meets the left side of his chest, back pressed up against the grey colored wall of your shared apartment as he slides down to sit on the floor. it was four in the morning, and manjiro was about to shit himself.

he gulps, eyes peering around for you, double checking that you were fast asleep before he makes a phone call. his fingers tapped the back of his iphone, impatiently waiting for the other caller to answer. though it was the crack of dawn, he still needed some moral support.

“mikey? fuck you callin’ for at this hour? haven’t heard from you in mo—”

“ken-chin. i’m proposing.”

a loud ‘flop’ rang through the receiver, accompanied by the bedsheets seemingly slipping underneath draken’s feet. it was a huge bomb to drop, especially when the duo has been separated for months on end. manjiro hears more shuffling, followed by a few curses. “you’re fucking lying. the one you’ve been one since—?”

“yeah. i’m crazy as hell. but i love them. head over heels. i’m a goddamn simp.”

“why the hell am i the first to know, man?”

“you’re m’best friend, even if i need to stay away from you. and, also… you’re not the first to know. i asked them already.”

“you WHAT? don’t fuckin’ tell me you did it some dumb way like over the pho— you did. you’re impulsive enough to do it like that, too.” regardless of how long it’s been, draken still knows and understands manjiro like nothing ever happened.

“yeah… not romantic. but i can’t see myself with anyone else. i trust no one else. but i… am…”

“scared? man, you’re the head of a criminal organization. ‘course you’re scared. you don’t want the love of your life… to get hurt…” his voice trails off and manjiro’s heart tenses even more. the memories of the past still felt fresh. all the people they lost in tokyo manji… could never be replaced. not in a million years.

but the living must live.

“i love y/n. never felt like this before. i’d quit everything. but i would have to make sure they’re safe and whatever future we have together is secure. i know i promised takemichi that i’d protect everyone and that future he worked so hard to save… but what about mine?”

manjiro really did sacrifice everything for his friends. being the type of person who carries everyone else’s burdens takes a toll on his mental. he felt selfish for wanting to leave it all behind. but maybe being selfish was beneficial once in a while.

“listen—”

“do you think i’m stupid?”

“mikey. you’re not stupid,” draken sighs, shuffling again in place. “you just want to love someone and be loved in return. nothin’ stupid about that. what is stupid though, is you proposing over the damn phone.”

he’s not wrong. it was a spur of the moment decision that could drastically change his life forever. but with you, he doesn’t care. as long as you’re his, forever.

“how do you think i should do it?”

“well. i guess, tell me some sappy shit. how do you feel about them, and whatnot.”

“i don’t think i could ever imagine me with anyone else. a lot of people have tried to grab my attention but i only have eyes for y/n. sometimes when shit gets real hard…” manjiro takes a deep sigh, fingers threading through his hair, tilting back the hood to let it fall onto his back. “i think of y/n and i remember that even in this shit world, someone is here for me. someone cares about me. they make me feel like i’m not alone anymore.

i have dreams ‘bout us, y’know? me and y/n… kids running around. a little mikey clone. pissin’ them off because we want little flags on our meals. going to the park and letting kids be kids. maybe i’ll teach ‘em at a dojo like gramps did for me and my siblings. maybe i’ll teach ‘em about bikes—with your help, of course.”

draken laughs, letting his friend continue his little speech as he gets comfortable in bed again. don’t think i’ve ever seen mikey like this, ever, draken muses.

“man, we can own a whole zoo if we wanted. chifuyu could hook us up, in secret, of course. still have to protect everyone,” manjiro is grinning from ear to ear, head resting against the wall. “i wanna grow old with them. honestly, i didn’t think i’d make it to my twenties. more so, i didn’t want to live past twenty-something. but now… things are different. wanna be old and gray. see grandkids terrorize our children. die together.”

the tension in manjiro’s chest has faded away, only left with warmth that only you could bring him. his free hand reaches into his pocket to fumble with a small box, snapping it open to reveal the engagement ring his grandfather handed down to him.

he wasn’t the marrying type. but for you, he was.

“that all? you sound good like that, man. make an exception and let us come to the wedding.”

manjiro wants that more than anything. his friends, you... all safe. all happy. but again, the fear creeps up. he doesn’t know what to do with himself if any of you get hurt.

“... how do i tell y/n that?”

“you already have.” your voice makes him jump, knocking the velvet box out of his fingers and onto the hardwood floor. his face pales, followed by a huge lump forming at his throat when he sees your figure emerge from your shared bedroom.

“i-uh… i thought you were a-asleep.” manjiro mumbles, earning a huge laugh from draken on the other side. he hears him say something along the lines of ‘my cue to leave. good luck. send me an invite.’

“i was waiting for you.” 

he’s sweating now, a small bead forming at the base of his neck. his phone is now at his side, the screen flashing from draken’s caller id to the lockscreen photo of you on your first date together, a few years back. your eyes zone into the box, though.

“i was going to do this… better. god, i fucked up, huh?”

you’re laughing now, rubbing your tired eyes before you join him near the wall, picking up the box. “what makes you think that, dummy?”

now he’s confused. you wanted him to ask when he was serious, but in his head, serious meant rose petals, candles, someone singing celine dion in the distance.

without a word, you slip the ring onto its appropriate finger, holding up to the small rays of sunlight that peaked through the window from the approaching sunrise. manjiro’s hands fly up to your face, holding his whole world in his hands. his eyes are shiny, on the brink of tears. you nudge your noses together, foreheads connecting tenderly. your hands hooked onto the hem of his hoodie, bringing his frame closer as you whisper a soft ‘yes.’

“yes?”

“yes, i’ll marry you.”

manjiro’s lips curl up into the silliest grin you’ve ever seen him sport, before he presses a soft kiss to your lips. now he’s kissing you quite desperately. as if he’s trying to make sure you’re real, that this isn’t a dream. you feel his words vibrate against your lips, “gonna make you so happy, i promise. i love you. i love you so, so much.”

“forevermore.”

“forever yours.”

[paperpocalypse]

polk salad annie.

50 Wordless Ways to Say “I Love You”: 49. Giving them a tight hug that makes them lose their breath.

Pairing: Five Hargreeves x Reader

Word Count: 1,282 words

Warnings: Swearing

[A/N: This fic has spoilers from season 2, episodes 6-7 below the cut, so if you haven’t watched them yet and don’t want to be spoiled, make sure to catch up before reading! Requested by @waterlily502​ and anon :D]

Five had botched the equations somehow.

You tug your suit jacket more tightly around yourself, peering into the flurry of snow as your muscles scream in protest against the sudden cold. This is really bad. You’re definitely nowhere near the academy where Five said he had grown up; in fact, from what you can see through the white haze of winter, you’re not even in a city. There’s just a lonely stretch of road flanked by snowbanks on either side.

“Sh-Sh-Shit,” you hiss, a shiver wracking your body. Your body – oh, for the love of time, don’t even mention the de-aging. This is really, really bad.

Hypothermia on the forefront of your mind, you tug the collar of your dress shirt up to your nose and stumble onto the empty highway, walking as quickly as you can. You use your other hand to wipe the snowflakes from your eyelashes and then look up at the sky. At the very least, it’s not the middle of the night. There’s got to be some traffic coming back and forth.

You start losing hope after ten minutes. Not long after, you start to feel a little dizzy. You press two fingers over your carotid, but they’re too numb to feel a pulse. Your lungs feel stiff.

But just when you’ve resigned yourself to freezing to death, the sound of tires over snow reaches your ears.

Twin headlights of a vehicle shine through the blizzard and onto you like two, warm suns. Finally. With a thankful sigh, you stagger towards the bumper as the pick-up honks and slows to a stop.

A big, burly man steps out. “God’s sake, kiddo, what are you doing out here?”

—

What happens next rivals that of the thrillers you used to read. The guy that picks you up is loud and friendly. He brings you to the nearest town, but the Temps drop by and he gets caught in the crossfire. After taking care of the agents (and flushing the newly discovered tracker from your arm down the toilet) you swap some licenses and take your late rescuer’s truck – something necessary but also something you’ll always regret – and spend the first half of 1982 driving across New England and the Midwest in search of a briefcase, laying as low as you can. It’s something you’re certainly used to; at the Commission, while Five was good at getting out of situations, you had a talent for avoiding them in the first place. It was why you were partners.

(Five. You know he has an uncanny knack for staying alive, but not a day goes by where you don’t hope he’s okay.)

In July, you get a lead in Oshkosh and find yourself at some Wisconsin Polka Association festival.

“Oh, aren’t you a killer in those clothes! You really should check out the ballroom, sweetheart. They’re teaching people your age how to polka dance.”

“No, thank you,” you decline, smiling politely and extracting yourself from the grip of the couple that had whisked you away for a costume change. (It really is weird and mildly off-putting, being coddled by people only a few years older than you.) “I have to go find my mom.”

“Are you sure? Our grandkids are in there.”

After a minute or so of assuring the two members that yes, you’ll check out the polka dancing later, and no, they don’t have to help you find your (non-existent) mom, you check your pamphlet and head toward the next place on your search list: the Muskellunge Banquet Room. Better check it out as quickly as possible.

Turning a corner, you spot the entrance at the end of the hall.

However, you also see a boy attacking a vending machine and swearing his mouth off.

“Stupid mother Fudge Nutter! Fuckin’ Fudge Nutter –”

Okay, maybe you have a little time.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” you call out, jogging over. You pull him back before he can kick the glass.

The kid immediately yanks his arm away, sneering at you. You stifle a snort. A quick glance has you wondering why he has a schoolboy uniform on – you don’t see that every day in America, especially during summer break. Weird.

“Calm down, Yosemite.” You smile. “Did something get stuck in there?”

“What the hell do you think?” he snaps, eyes wild as he turns to stomp away. “God, I ask for one thing –”

“Wait.” You grab his arm again and dig some coins out of your pocket. Good thing you have quarters left over from gas. “Here, I have some extra change. Fudge Nutter, right?”

While the boy glares, straightening his jacket, you stick the coins into the vending machine and enter the code for the Fudge Nutter bars. F-6. The action feels nostalgic – you remember when Five had bailed you out of a stuck vending machine snack once, during an assignment in 1999 Seattle. He had finally begun warming up to you by then. You still owe him money for that.

The coils whir, and two chocolate bars drop into the pick-up box. You bend down and collect the treasure, holding one out towards the boy.

“One for you, one for me.”

Considerably calmer, he only looks at you suspiciously before slowly taking the Fudge Nutter from your hand. The expression is screamingly familiar. You find yourself wondering; it could be completely possible, perhaps, that –

The boy stalks off. Rude little brat.

“Holy shit, kid, a thank you is in order,” you exclaim, running after him. Coincidentally, he’s heading toward the banquet hall, and you hope you won’t have to worry about him while you’re skulking around in there for an agent. “I didn’t have to bail you out.”

“I am decades older than you, so don’t call me kid.” When you reach the end of the hallway, he stops and scowls at you. “Now stop following me. I have something I need to do.”

“Sorry to break it to you, kid, but so do I,” you snap, any goodwill you had scrounged out of respect for Five quickly fading away. Now a little pissed, you hold the boy’s gaze with equal vitriol. “So you better –”

And just like that, it clicks. 

Your eyes widen as you cut yourself off.

“… Five?”

Recognition fills the boy’s face. “[Y/n]?”

“Holy shit.”

You drop your candy bar, throwing your arms around him and crushing him against you. It’s him. Holy shit. Five stiffens as you bury your face into his shoulder with a half-crazed laugh, then tentatively hugs you back. His grip tightens within seconds of doing so.

Finally, you let go. “How’d you find me?” you murmur after regaining your breath, searching his gaze. How did you not notice it was him sooner? His eyes are exactly the same.

“Honestly, I had no idea you were here,” he replies. (... Ah, so it was luck. You’ll take it any time.) Looking past you, Five walks toward the fire axe mounted on the wall and takes it down. “I’m here on business.”

At the mention of business, your smile fades into a bewildered frown. “Five. Are you – are you working for the Commission again?”

“No.” He positions the axe over his shoulder, raising an eyebrow. “Quite the opposite, actually. The board of directors is meeting here.”

Ah. That kind of business.

Picking your Fudge Nutter back up, you tuck it into your pocket. “Well, in that case – mind if I join?” you ask.

A brief smirk forms on Five’s face to match yours. He gestures his head toward the banquet hall, and you fall into step with him like you had so many times before.

“Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

[sttngfashion]

5.26 and 6.1 - Time’s Arrow

Oh my god. Y’all. It’s a new Fashion It So post. In the year of our Picard 2020. Yes.

For literal years, Charlie and I have been like UGH WE NEED TO DO TIME’S ARROW PARTS 1 AND 2 BUT IT’S JUST SUCH A MONSTER.

Well, I’m doing a complete rewatch of the series with my partner and we just got to these two, so IT IS TIME. 

We open in a cave in San Francisco, where Data and Picard are checking something out:

Rent for the cave is $6,000 per month

Showing them around is this guy in a Science Outfit:

He’s ready to go night biking

We’ve seen this look before in both Silicon Avatar and Devil’s Due, and it’s functional, yet cute. Basically a windbreaker in jumpsuit form. 

They find a couple of items in the cave, including a pocket watch from 1889 and also:

I left my head in San Francisco

IT’S DATA’S HEAD!!! And it’s been there for FIVE HUNDRED YEARS. What could have caused this? And why is Data’s head so absolutely terrifying?

Is that fondant

This head is, in a word, haunting. The 2020 of heads. 

Data and Geordi chat in Ten-Forward about what the presence of Data’s head in the cave means. Data says it means he’s mortal; that someday he will die, and that’s comforting. Spoiler alert: that’s not what it means. But it’s a nice conversation.

Also, Guinan is here!!!

Merlot My God!! 

Or maybe: Burgundy-lightful!! Or perhaps: De-Crimson-alize Sex Work!! Okay that last one was a stretch but I really think I missed my calling as a nail polish shade namer. 

Anyway, she’s here in her classic look of a pizza-sized hat and a flowing gown/coat/top/robe. The collar here is a little too close to a mock turtleneck for my liking and honestly - this is a little staid for our friend Guinan. I want a TEXTURE or a SWEEP or some WIDE RIBBING or some PLEATS. Don’t worry, though...she will get plenty more later.

Then there’s some plot which frankly we DO NOT HAVE TIME to get into but let’s just say: the away team goes to a planet, there’s a temporal disturbance, and Data ends up here:

Huge mood

Where are we? Or should I say WHEN are we??

Well that old-timey font is a good clue...also the horse

Are we in the Old West land of an off-brand Disneyworld? Are we going to ride something called Large Lightning Mesa Train Tracks? What colorful characters will we meet here?

Winner of 1893’s Mustache Medal

This type of ‘stache is called a Fu Manchu, after the character Dr. Fu Manchu. It’s not...a great look? But it is memorable, which is sometimes enough. He’s also wearing a simple black cap, probably made of silk. He’s keeping it cazh.

So where are we?

SAN FRANCISCO, OPEN YOUR GOLDEN GATE / YOU’LL LET NOBODY WAIT / OUTSIDE YOUR DOOR

Yes, it’s San Francisco. And it’s *eyes popping out of head like a cartoon wolf seeing a busty babe* 1893!!!! That temporal disturbance was...disturbing.

So who else do we have hanging out?

Please check out our Vaudeville act, Knit Cap ‘n’ Bowly

These dudes understand those famous Bay Area MICROCLIMATES, amirite? We’ve got a Henley. We’ve got a buttondown. We’ve got a vest. We’ve got a coat. No matter which way the thermometer decides to go, THEY ARE READY. Also loving the pop of forest green on Knit Cap’s knit cap. 

We also have a 49er:

No, it’s not Steve Young. I googled “famous 49ers” to complete this joke so if there is a more famous 49er please let me know

It’s a literal 49er. Since it’s 1893, this guy’s been hanging around in town for a while, and he’s also familiar with the layering techniques one must master if one is to conquer the Bay Area’s climate. He also has a kicky Colonel Sanders-type tie. He asks Data for money and gives him a few panhandling tips. He’s chill. We like him. But don’t get too attached if you know what I mean!!!!

Data decides he needs somewhere to stay, so he finds a hotel:

Brian.

Why is this so funny to me. Brian. Why would you name your hotel Brian. Brian!!!! I know it’s a last name but like...Brian. HOTEL BRIAN. 

This bellhop’s name is not Brian:

Where’s your hat, bro

He’s giving us a classic bellhop look, complete with too many buttons. He gives Data the very important information that there’s a poker game happening in the back of the hotel, which means: Data is about to be RICH rich. 

The poker game includes a few good looks:

Louie Anderson IS Wolverine IN a Lands’ End barn coat

Two plaids? Sir...I salute you

Colonel Sanders Goes to Carnaval

Data, of course, wipes the floor with them so hard that he wins their clothes:

Didn’t get that barn coat tho

Yes, that’s the actual vest and the actual hat of those guys from the previous scene. Oh, I love it. I love Data in a vest over his uniform and I love Data with a feather in his cap. Let’s call it macaroni.

Meanwhile, out on the street, the plot is happening:

Beige: inescapable

This is our first taste of the decadent 1890’s sleeves that appear in this episode, and these aren’t even the best sleeves!! These are an amuse-bouche of sleeves. An armuse-bouche, if you will. 

Anyway, these two are aliens disguised as humans who are here to steal the 49er’s life energy. 

Pew pew pew

I told you not to get attached!!!

Back on the Enterprise, Guinan is doing mixology:

She would never call it something as stupid as mixology though

She tells Picard that he needs to go check out the temporal disturbance, too, even though captains don’t normally go on away missions, and then she gives him this look:

It’s that serious

When Guinan looks at you like this, you do what she says. 

Now this outfit is much better than the earlier one. We have some pleated sleeves, which I didn’t even think was a thing you could DO. We have some sort of functional(?) strap(??) across the front. We even have matching fingerless gloves which always make a look A LOOK. And if Picard wasn’t sure whether he needed to go on this away mission, she then gives him THIS look:

Okay now it’s REALLY serious

Back in 1893, Data is making something:

It’s actually just a really complicated and large music box that plays “I Left My Head in San Francisco”

He’s gotten his hands on some more period-appropriate clothing, including a bow tie and a vest. Since he’s not wearing arm garters and his sleeves appear to be the correct length for his arms, we can conclude that the shirt was custom-made, not ready-made, because Data is now a baller due to his poker earnings. 

Then, Data sees this in the paper:

I know her!! From work!!!!

Yes, it’s Guinan. In 1893. In a hat!!!!

We cut to the literary reception, which is honestly not as well-attended as I thought it would be, considering it got a GIANT photo of Guinan on page THREE of the paper, but okay. And who should we spy there but:

You’ll love my secret blend of 11 herbs and spices

No, it’s not Colonel Sanders. (Sorry, I really have Colonel Sanders on the brain because of that Lifetime movie.) It’s Samuel Clements, AKA Mark Twain. I had an English teacher in high school who explained the origin of his pseudonym (it indicates a mark of two fathoms, aka twelve feet, on a steamboat) and for some reason she shouted MAAAARK TWAAAAAIN when she told us that story so now her delivery of that line is in my head until I die I guess.

Anyway, it’s Mark Twain.

He’s wearing his iconic white linen suit with a black bow tie, and he’s also wearing a lot of prosthetics, because the actor playing him (Jerry Hardin, AKA Deep Throat from The X-Files AKA Melora Hardin AKA Jan Levinson-Gould’s dad) (was that too many AKAs) (you get it, right?) didn’t look enough like Mark Twain, I guess? In conclusion: what if eyebrow wigs were a thing?

Twain is having a chit chat with “Madame Guinan,” who is wearing what can only be called a sumptuous gown:

It’s 11:30 and the gown is sumptin’ sumptin’

There are so many ELEMENTS to this look! First of all: the color. Royal purple. Fit for a queen. Appropriate. 

Then: those sleeves! These sleeves are known as “leg of mutton sleeves” because they KIND OF look like a leg of mutton. Have you ever seen a leg of mutton? I haven’t. I’ve only seen these sleeves. Plus they have a stripe?? No, I don’t know why, but I LOVE IT.

The cuffs and the cravat bring this from “dress” to “lewk.” Top it all off with this hat and you have a true 1893 mood.

What bird is that feather even from

We get a few good extra looks in this scene as well:

Pink Lady is NOT wearing a corset

Look, sometimes you don’t have enough period-appropriate undergarments for all the background people and that’s fine. But I WILL notice.

Is that Loretta Lynn

I am loving all of this! That purple dress is fantastic, those stripes? I die. Military man has some fun flair on his shoulder, and there is a dude in a beautiful turban back there. Plus, another Black lady in addition to Guinan and That One Ensign Who Is On The Bridge Sometimes.

Data rolls in to the literary event in a different suit with a CRAVAT:

Craving a cravat

Data is like “we serve together on the same starship in the 24th century” and Guinan is like “huh” but then she’s like “okay” which...I’m not sure if I would believe that? But let’s just say it’s fine. 

Over in the 24th century, the literal entire bridge crew is checking out the temporal disturbance and I DON’T LIKE THIS AT ALL:

Blue Man Group...on ACID

These beings are like ghosts but also like Dr. Manhattan but also like pure energy. 

Then everyone goes through the temporal disturbance AND THE SEASON ENDS. 

Fortunately for you, this post will continue...right now.

Okay, so we’re back in San Francisco in 1893. You can tell by the horses:

Also the fruit carts

Samuel Clemens is strolling around with a reporter, telling him that he has a great story for him that involves time travelers and, like, protecting the nation.

Here’s the thing about this episode’s version of Mark Twain: he’s kind of a dick. Was the real Mark Twain kind of a dick? I just feel like Mark Twain should be JAZZED about meeting time travelers and not acting like a fuckin’ time cop* and trying to put the Enterprise crew on blast. 

Anyway I love his double-breasted vest.

See my vest

The reporter’s hat is technically period-accurate, but that style is SO associated with the 1930s-1950s that I would have gone with something else. He looks cute though.

Meanwhile, Data is wearing a three-piece suit:

My positronic olfactory synapses are interpreting something as...a fart

I hate brown, but this is fine.

Additionally, the beige baddies from before are back and this time, they’ve got a SNAKE CANE:

Love the snake cane, hate how they suck the life out of people

But we are not here for them, we are here to see our faves in period clothing. Our first look is at Riker, who is dressed as an actual cop, not a time cop like Mark Twain:

The past just had...so many buttons

I guess if you’re a time-traveling white man there are worse disguises than a cop. But WHERE DID HE GET THIS UNIFORM? I choose to believe that he found a cop with a similar large handsome body to his own and beat the shit out of him and stole his clothes. Now we can all enjoy imagining a cop being beat up.

The badge that Riker is wearing is a great historical detail; the SFPD started wearing them in 1886 and are reportedly the first law enforcement agency to have worn the seven-pointed star, which is now a common shape among sheriff’s departments across the United States.

But let’s move on to a better look: Dr. Beverly Crusher:

Curlz MT

Okay, now I have more questions. Beverly obviously wouldn’t beat someone up for their clothes, so where did SHE get HER outfit? And who did her hair? Did she do her OWN hair? Where did she get a curling iron? Does she know how to use a curling iron? Was it one of those ones that’s actually made of iron that you have to heat up in a fireplace? 

We will get answers to zero (0) of these questions.

We actually get a much better look at her dress later, so let’s focus on that cloak!!! I love it and I also love her hat. Okay, I guess I had less to say about those than I thought.

Bev and Will, along with the rest of the officers, have somehow procured a room/apartment in some lady’s lodging house. It’s cute!

They gave it 5 stars on AirBnB

This also raises questions. How did they get this room? How many bedrooms does it have? Are they sharing one large bed? If so, who has to sleep crossways at the foot of the bed and why is it Geordi? We will get zero answers to these questions as well, so let’s move on to arguably the hottest costume in this two-parter:

I’ll be in Holodeck 4

Whewwwwwww. He’s giving us a rolled sleeve. He’s giving us a casual tweed vest. The pants? They’re perfect. And he KNOWS how that slouch is working. It’s working VERY well. But the Irish landlady? She’s having NONE OF IT.

Absolutely NO nonsense

She needs the rent, but Picard charms her and she leaves. So I guess that’s how they got the room. Her look is knitwear-forward:

Eileen Fisher does sound like an Irish name

She’s got a shawl AND a cardigan! The cozy factor is OFF THE CHARTS. She also has a brooch, because a touch of fancy is always welcome. I will say that her hair is a little more fashion-forward than I’d expect for a woman of her age and station. This is straight up 1890s hair, and she would probably still be rocking an 1860s look, which isn’t as sweepy and would likely involve more braids. Still, she looks lovely. 

Geordi is also here looking dapper:

Make the collar as high as you can. I want to be sliced open by my own collar

You CAN go wrong with a three-piece suit, but it’s difficult to. He can’t wear his visor, so he has some kicky shades which we’ll get a better look at in a sec.

Back at the Hotel Brian (lol), the bellboy (who we learn in this scene is Jack London, inspired to be a writer by Mark Twain [citation needed]) lets Mark Twain into Data’s room and allows him to look around unsupervised. This is very bad hotel management. 

Great Scott

Then Data and Guinan show back up, and Mark Twain hides in an armoire.

One short day in the emerald brocade

I think one reason I love Guinan’s looks so much, both in the 24th and the 19th century, is that our color palette is very similar. We’re both winters. Bold jewel tones are the vibe. This one is in a beautiful deep green fabric with what looks like a velvet flocking pattern on it. The collar is also velvet, and I love that sleeve with a flounce on top like there wasn’t already enough fucking fabric on the sleeve so they just added a random piece to be like “yes, bitch. I’m a sleeve.”

Naturally, the hat is also jaunty af:

San Francisco’s hottest milliner is: Madame Guinan

This hat has everything: feathers, netting, a brim, an angle that makes you think it’s going to fall off but it doesn’t. We stan.

Meanwhile, Picard is setting up a sensor in a hospital while wearing a hat:

I’m bowled over

We haven’t even asked where Picard got these clothes, but I would like to point out that he’s dressed as a lower-class guy, while Riker is a cop, and Geordi looks like a gentleman. Was there even a discussion they all had about how they would disguise themselves? Was Picard like “I just really want to wear a beat-up bowler hat” and since he’s the captain, they extrapolated from there? This episode is NOT CONCERNED about any of this. They all have clothes, end of story. 

Bev even has TWO outfits!!

Hello nurse!!!!

I love this look. She still has her unlikely hairstyle happening, which means her nurse’s cap is sitting atop her voluminous hairstyle. (Not very practical, but realistic!) She’s sporting a simple striped dress and a button-on apron. (Look closely and you can see the two buttons holding the apron to the dress.) The fabric underneath might be cotton seersucker, but it’s likely a lightweight cotton or linen twill. You can see how closely her look matches these nurses from a similar time period:

Hello nurses!!!!

Deanna is also in this scene and this episode, but you wouldn’t know it from what she’s given to do. HUGE SHOCKER: TROI NOT GIVEN ENOUGH TO DO IN AN EPISODE. 🙃

She still looks beautiful:

Why aren’t capelets more popular

We never get a really GREAT look at her whole outfit, but I can tell you that it has a capelet, it’s in the red family, and the hat has a lot of business going on. For those reasons: approved. It has a flounce in the back too:

More fabric = more wealth

Sometimes I think about just how much fabric it took to make these old-timey dresses and I’m like...how did anyone get anything done?? It takes me like 4 weeks to finish a pair of leggings and those have like 5 seams and I own a serger. These historical bitches were sewing whole ass dresses in no time at all. 

Okay, so Bev is in this hospital and here come some more energy-stealing aliens, disguised as healthcare professionals this time:

I cannot take a medical professional wearing a LIGHT BROWN TOP HAT seriously, sorry

Bev AND this energy-stealing alien have BOTH managed to get their hands on the SAME nurse’s uniform?? I guess in the case of the alien, she is a shape-shifter, so she got her clothes from...that. And her hair. 

I hate this light brown top hat. If you’re going to wear a top hat, don’t DISRESPECT IT by making it BROWN, but if you’re going to make it brown, make it a good brown, like chocolate. Stupid energy-stealing aliens.

There’s a skirmish, the energy-stealing aliens disappear, and the real cops show up:

MOUSTACHE

Of course, the cops showing up is bad, because when has a cop showing up ever made a bad situation better? Never. Defund the police, but don’t defund handlebar mustaches. Those can stay.

Fortunately, Data has gotten a ping on that machine he was building before and shows up on a motherfucking HORSE:

Brent just wanted to show off

He’s back in his brown striped suit and red tie. Okay.

Everyone returns to the boarding house to suss out the situation, and we get a look at what Riker is rocking underneath his cop jacket:

Suspend me daddy

You can see very clearly here how the collar is not actually attached to the shirt. This was a thing people in the olden days did so they could wear their shirt for multiple days in a row and just switch out the collar and cuffs so they looked clean. As someone who is wearing the same sweatshirt for the third day in a row, I support this method. (If you’re interested on more info about collars, here is a very enjoyable article about them.)

We are also blessed with a better look at Deanna’s sleeves and bodice:

Black lace cuffs? Decadent!!!

You can also see Geordi’s shades, which suit him really nicely. One thing I’ve been enjoying on this rewatch is just how well LeVar Burton can act without having his eyes visible. He’s great. Let’s just all think about how great LeVar Burton is for a second

And also Bev’s dress:

I legitimately want this dress

I don’t think those buttons are functional. Can you imagine how annoying THAT would be? But I am absolutely in love with this dress. Two paisleys, Beverly???? A goddess. I’m also dying for that brooch with the chain. A+ look all around, great work.

Finally, FINALLY, Guinan meets the rest of the crew:

When you meet someone you won’t actually know for 500 years

She is wearing a hat that looks like a toilet paper cozy. Did your grandma have one of these? They’re so stupid and I love them so much. 

Picard and Guinan meet for what is the first time for her, but not the first time for him, and honestly it is...sensual?????

If I got a m’lady from P. Stew I wouldn’t even mind

Patrick and Whoopi truly do some nice work in this ep. But we are here to yell about clothes, so: LOOK AT THIS DRESS ON AN EXTRA:

Gimme dat dress

I just want that dress to wear around my house. I legitimately bought an 18th century costume dress to do just that, so don’t think I won’t literally do this.

OKAY, WE ARE ALMOST TO THE END. 

The crew, plus Guinan, go back to the cave where this all started:

Cave Club, the only club that meets in a cave

We get a nice look at the bodice of Guinan’s dress here and guess what: MORE BUTTONS. Buttons on the lapels, and also buttons on the front panel with the pointy top. I wonder if she has multiple front panels for that dress in different colors, like a Swatch watch. 

Unbeknownst to them, Mark Twain followed them!! Then there’s a scuffle with the energy-stealing aliens during which a few things happen:

Data’s head flies off

Mark Twain gets sucked into the temporal disturbance

Guinan gets hurt

Picard stays behind to make sure Guinan is okay

So we end up with Mark Twain on the Enterprise, where he sees Worf, and he’s like:

Buh-WHAT

Worf is also confused:

This is...extremely perplexing

We have a few more looks back on the Enterprise, including Regular Guinan:

ShoulderSpreads™: The Bed Spread for Your Shoulders

I love love LOVE this outfit. The color is perfect, the shoulderspreads are perfect, the front draping is perfect. It looks like a velvet housedress from the 1960s except FANCY which is kind of my ideal aesthetic. And it’s red (my fave). 

We get a quick glimpse at the barber uniform:

Bitch let me pass, idc if you wrote Huck Finn

This barber does. not. give. a. fuck!!!! 

Geordi reattaches Data’s head, the one they already had, which means this whole thing was a ding dang closed loop. The reattachment also kind of diminishes the whole conversation they had earlier about how Data’s head in the cave meant that Data could die someday, because...he didn’t. He still might, but his head is back and he’s fine now.

Meanwhile, Picard is still back in 1893 and they have to go get him, but only one person can come back through the temporal disturbance, so Mark Twain is like “duh I’ll go get him.” 

And finally Guinan and Picard can talk about how their friendship spans 500 years!!!!

Hey girl

Hey

YOU’RE WELCOME

*abolish the police

[genesisrose74]

Christmas With the Karasuno Boys (HC’s)!!

Part 2: Kageyama, Hinata, Tsukishima, Yamaguchi, Kinoshita, & Narita

Part 1 (Daichi, Suga, Asahi, Nishinoya, Tanaka, & Ennoshita) here!

A/n: Tumblr said my word count was too much so I’m splitting this bad boi up into two parts :p Enjoy!!

*****

Kageyama

This boy has a secret soft side for Christmas istg

He HATES showing it to other people on his team and shit

But holy bejeezus he is mesmerized by the holiday in every way possible

Lights, sweets, snow, just like,,, the general magic of December is the most awe-inspiring thing to him

Since he is still a sporty and pretty active mofo, you decided to fuel that on your holiday-themed date as Kags had noted that he’d never gone sledding before

Your jaw was on the FLOOR when he first told you because he would 10000% enjoy the hell out of it

And so you dragged him out to this popular sledding hill that you frequented as a child and taught him what to do

Not gonna lie, he was kind of nervous

“Well you’re experienced at it. I don’t wanna mess up”

🥺🥺🥺 bubby

“You won’t, Tobio! I can already tell you’re gonna be a sledding pro”

Feels a little better after that, but he asks you to help him out for his first run down the hill

He sits behind you with his arms secured snugly around your waist and his head nestled on top of your shoulder

Which would probably seem really funny to passerby because this boy is tol and intimidating in most other situations

As soon as the sled started down, Kags tightened his grip and made this cute little yelp of surprise

But you were laughing insanely hard at the combination of going really fast downhill whilst also having your boyfriend cling to you for dear life

And then when the sled stopped safely at the bottom he started to chuckle

FULL ON, GENUINE SOUND OF ENJOYMENT

That shit is rare

Y’all stayed at that hill for half the day because it was so fun

You got him a new, very high quality athletic roller for Christmas because his old one was just not cutting it anymore

And you also gave him this really cute bracelet with a volleyball, his jersey number, and a little strawberry milk set of charms attached to it

It matched this really pretty and subtle chain he’d bought for your birthday

His blueberry eyes got all wide with affection dfjdskfjsdk—

Got super blushy and couldn’t get a handle on his speech for a fat minute

He thinks you’re the coolest person ever no I do not take criticism

Geez you’re both adorable together, ideal “stoic boy becomes warmer during the holidays around his love” movie plot and I love it

Hinata

He is all in on Christmas. Not a chance this boy doesn’t get excited as hell

Will openly go into holiday mode as soon as November is over

Was secretly already listening to his Christmas playlist before then

He is one of the sweetest gift givers, that is FACTUAL

If you want something really badly, he will take notice and get it as your present immediately

He’ll also gift you an extra thing that’s handmade 🥺

Like some pastries that his mom helped him make, or a specially made basket of soaps with your favorite scents in it

It’s absolutely adorable and you cherish those ones especially

Is happy if you simply get him something; mans doesn’t care what it is

New practice volleyball? A brand new sweatshirt? Elated either way

You had seen an advertisement for a friendly match between Japan and Poland’s men’s volleyball teams, so you waited online on the ticket sales website until the minute it opened

Spoiler alert: you got some banger seats 😌✨

Shoyo may or may not have tackled you when he read the ticket details, letting out his excited giggle (you know the one)

“I can’t believe you got these, angel! You’re coming with me, right? You’ve gotta! Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

Gives you sweet little kisses between each individual ‘thank you’

“Of course I’ll go with you, Sho! I’m really glad you like it!”

He will give you the brightest smile of all time — that shit makes Christmas lights pale in comparison

“Have I told you how much I love you?”

RIGHT BACK AT YOU BBY

Hold his hands to warm up together when temperatures drop pls :)))

It’s become a weekly December tradition to watch a Christmas movie with Natsu at the Hinata household

She’ll sit in your lap while the three of you are cuddled under a blanket together, and Shoyo will lace his fingers with yours all discreetly

In conclusion, I am a sucker for holiday Hinata 🥺🥺🥺

Tsukishima

His room is decorated to the very minimum simply because his mom and brother had insisted on him being festive

You know those holiday instrumentals that are really calming and jazzy and stuff? Yeah, that’s the only Christmas music he will tolerate in his house

While he’s still got his usual icy demeanor, this blond bitch does get slightly less snippy with the Karasuno boys

Is always on the nose with getting you the exact thing you wanted for a present

Like,,, TO THE SMALLEST DETAIL

You don’t even have to bring that shit up beforehand, he just KNOWS

“Tsukki, how did you—?”

“It’s pretty obvious, with the way that one ad kept showing up on your phone.”

b r u h

How does he pay such good attention without even letting on??

As for his own present, you’ll usually get him two: one gag gift and one more serious gift

His dino plush collection size is partly due to the former’s contributions this time of year

Yes the dinos have names

You exchanged gifts on Christmas Eve with all the team (you made him go) and he saved your more serious one for last

It was a scarf that you’d gotten custom made, which had a Spotify code knitted into the fabric

Scanning the code opened the app to a playlist you’d created especially for him

He got pretty quiet when figuring it out and scrolling through the playlist

Would let out a certified Tsukki Nose Exhale™ when he came across certain songs

The more subdued reaction was expected because it’s Tsukishima

His little chuckles and warmer eyes were enough of a giveaway to tell you he very much enjoyed your gift

But on the walk home, he took the scarf and wrapped it around you both, and then brought his arm around your waist

“Thank you.”

You deadass almost combusted because it was so unexpected??

“You’re welcome. Merry Christmas, Kei”

Way to respond calm and collected 😌👍

But on the inside your body was in freak out mode

He wears the scarf all the time jdfsklfjdsk

Yamaguchi

Take the most tooth rotting fluff you could imagine

And then double that and put a fucking cherry on top

That’s the equivalent of what Christmas is like with Yama Yama

Y’all are like kids in a candy store — literally

For your Christmas dates it’s all about sweets and shared giggles, so frequent trips to the candy and baking isles of the grocery store is a must

Making gingerbread houses, peppermint tasting (mostly trying those different and wild ass candy cane flavors), you name it and it’s there

Stomach aches? I don’t know her

Yeah you do but they go away with enough butterfly kisses 🥰

Tadashi is exceptionally good at decorating gingerbread houses for whatever reason

He put a poll on his instagram between yours and his final products and he won by a landslide

It’s not like yours was necessarily bad, more like he’s just an icing master

You also might have eaten too many gumdrops which left your rooftop lacking in ✨spice✨

But it’s okay because Tadashi donated some of his leftovers to you

He’s such a sweetheart uwu

Please for the love of everything get him something heartfelt as his present

You know those long distance bracelets for couples?

Basically if your s/o taps the icon on the bracelet it’ll send a little vibration to the other person’s as a notice that you’re thinking about them

This boy seeks constant reassurance, and you love to give him his deserved love and validation, so it was the perfect present

It takes a second for him to figure out what it is, but after reading the directions and testing it out, the most adorable smile erupted on his face

And then since you already had yours on, he tapped the little icon again with a giggle

“Hey there”

It becomes common habit to tap it at least once every couple hours

GOD HE IS SO CUTE

He is just so soft this time of year, give him all the love and he will return it tenfold ☺️

Kinoshita

This boy is absolutely an awkward cutie and an avid romantic

Give him the cliches and he will eat em up, no doubt

It naturally gets more apparent around the holidays

He’ll take you on pretty winter walks, give you lots of little gifts (while blushing a hell of a lot), and is just a professional at stumbling upon some mistletoe

Wow wonder how it got there, Hisashi

He’s quite a bit more confident when simply alone with you than in a crowded space

And that definitely shows when he takes you out on a secluded sleigh ride around town

Yeah you heard me

A fuckin’ sleigh ride

Horses and blankets and everything

Don’t even ask how he managed to pull it off, because he loves watching the cogs turn in your head and simply will not give you a straight answer

Of course there’s the nice driver guy who’s there, but in the back alone Kinoshita’s confidence goes 📈📈

Lots of flirting, tons of skimmed touches and shared giggles throughout the ride

I legitimately simp really hard for him

Anyways it was a gorgeous ride through town and super fun

On Christmas Eve you both exchange gifts together and tbh whatever you got him will leave him happy and flustered regardless

But when he opens the wrapping paper to find an entire set of vintage VHS tapes, he’s stunned

He owns a VHS (actually canon!) and honestly loves it to death, and the fact that you’d get him tapes of pretty high quality for his collection meant a lot

Gosh he’s so underrated but a definite sweetheart, give him all the holiday love

Narita

Another underrated bby 🥺

He’s so chill and is pretty open to anything during the holidays, so long as he gets to spend ample time with you, his friends, and his family

Definitely more of an indoor person despite being accepting of most situations

Hence why you thought a cute little indoor winter picnic would be right up his alley

Which it absolutely was 😌✨ nice work

You’d made plans while in secret communications with his family members about the whole thing

He’d been pretty stressed lately with trying to handle his schoolwork, while also helping out others with theirs

Despite being a wonderful tutor, it was clearly becoming a bit overwhelming as he tried to grapple with so much at once

So when he came home one day to find a pristine house with you settled on a blanket in his living room, he was quite surprised

There’s a cheese plate, soda cans in a cute ice box, sandwiches, snacks, a presparked fireplace — you and his family went all out

Really adorable I cannot lie

“I thought you said you were going gift shopping today?”

“I might have maybe lied :P”

So he gives the sweetest little smile and sits across from you

Y’all stay there and talk for hours

After finally getting through everything previously laid out on the blanket spread, you slid him a little rectangular box that he looked at curiously

“Already? I haven’t wrapped yours yet!”

“Mine can wait a bit! Just open yours”

And so he does, and you watch with a face-splitting grin as he looks down in awe

You got tickets to see his favorite rock band in concert while they were on tour

He sprung onto you and pulled you into the tightest hug ever

“Holy shit you’re the best I love you so much how do you get even more loveable every day—!?!l”

It’s a jumble of words but you’re able to put it together and it makes you giggle

He deadass sprints upstairs to go get your gift and make sure that you feel as equally appreciated as he does

In simple words: wholesome holiday sweetness 🥰

[sokayisaidiot]

Dream SMP Assumption #4

Today’s topic: Fatal Flaws and the things with it

Please DO NOT read if you’re uncomfortable with the themes of death, depression and suicide. It’s a very complicated theme. I did NOT study it and do NOT know some aspects of it. I just go off the things I saw in the smp and made my own theories about it. If you’re even slightly triggered by this, please stop and do NOT try to read it. Please do NOT put yourself in some kind of uncomfortable zone. 

Please do not. Thank you

(This is all assumptioning from the fictional world of dream smp)

(Heavy spoilers on the resent events)

(Mainly around the lmanburg way, sadly need to learn more about badlands ): )

(This Series is created by another person, that’s just too fuckin lazy to move her butt)

Trigger warning today:

“Betrayal”

Death

neglect

gray morals

Own thoughts 

Good and bad. Black and white. Typical Cliche, right? Well on the dream smp, theres a lot more. The person we watch is normally the side we are thinking is right, right? Well, actually yes and no. We see from many people their goal and respective ideals. So what actually is a good side on everybody? What are they doing wrong? But what does it show for us to understand?

Tommyinnit

Good things about him

He’s one of the most complicated characters. Many see him as the hero of the story and there not completely wrong. But Tommy’s fatal flaw is loyalty and recklessness. Why loyalty? When his life is on his line, he does not stand back, no he will throw himself at the front lines of a war, to protect the things he love. His family, friends, belongings. Thats great isn't it? 

The things he does wrong

But well, when he fights for those things, he leaves a mess others have to clean up many times. When you see the disaster with the railway war, the battle of the lake, burning Georges house accidentally. He is also stubborn, which comes with his loyalty but makes it for him worse to admit he’s doing something wrong.

What should we understand about that

Why is Tommy acting like this and right now not really on the way to be better? Well, Tommy isn't in a good place to get better. With his stubbornness and putting people and other things before himself, he didn't had time and now, with the manifesting of many negative traits he can't get himself really out. He needs people to help him. His father. Who left him, coming to him only once (in the lore). His older Brother. The one who betrayed him and blowing the thing up, which Tommy sacrificed a lot more than Wilbur and then died. His mento/brother figure, who is against the thing he wants to protect so bad. And with the people who manipulate him and the ones who don't think he needs help, he isn't in a place to get better or get some kind of good help. Being the youngest brings such heavy things down more and should actually explain, why Tommy has actually problems dealing with his problems, feelings and flaws.

Tubbo

Good things about him

Whats his fatal flaw? Its temptation to deliberate. For the time in Dream SMP, while being part of L’Manburg, Tubbo always relied on careful choices, compromises, and hearing both sides of a debate. He was able to take the decisions that Tommy couldn't make because of his stubbornness.

The things he does wrong

When he comes to make his own decisions, he makes them rather rash or out of emotions, which is shown when he exiled Tommy. The time he makes the decisions for a while, people don't listen to him. People turn around and forget about his ability to know how to make the right choices, and when he loses his temper once, it immediately backfires. He uses his emotions 

What we should know out of it

Its his fatal flaw that brings in the negativity. While being the choice of reason, he never chose what he wanted. He never knew where he wanted to belong. He followed the choices of the others and when he wanted to do his own decisions, he gets compared to past people with terrible acts. He is one of the youngest in the world of dream smp and he just gets used as a puppet for other peoples wanting. People see him for a young boy with no actual thought of what kind of experience he had gone trough. They expect and expect without knowing how broken they made a young person.

Wilbur

What he did good

His fatal flaw is hubris. Deadly pride. He will stand for his own side/arguments/meaning even if it kills him. And well, his pride in his son, brother, family, country and friends shows his his big heart and helpful hand, getting people out of trouble and being there for others.

What he did wrong

Hubris being is deadly flaw really is shown. The way he stood his way until its been fulfilled and then wanting to die with it, shows how he has fallen. He had his pride and part of stubbornness that let him think he could just host this elections without consequences. But those have been giant. His pride to admit he's wrong and there are others, who can lead a country good.

What we should know

Wilbur feeling neglected from Philza (presumably Philza doing more things with Techno as he grew older) left a hole for attention. He tries to find reasonable ways but with his own mental state not really helping, he tried his best to lead a nation. And hey, it worked (with the timeline in the lore, which I really try to figure out) it probably has been some years for him being president. Of course would people not listen to him, but what else could he do. There where just a freshly build country out of war. But then being exiled with his younger brother, who doesn't really knows his way of exile and causes some trouble with his stubbornness he's left to die by his fathers hands, only being a ghost of his former self.

Technobalde

What he did good

Fatal flaw? Instinctive inability to resist a challenge and wrath. Techno not really being able to resist a fight gave him probably his fighting knowledge and skills. It makes him a great rival and mentor. Its also nice to have something to charge for and being really dedicated to do it.

What he did wrong

Its seeable that he thinks that the destruction of L’Manburg is the only way to stop the bad things that has happened here. And the challenge they gave him to not destroy it. He gives in to the voices and closing himself in. He doesn't want a family for the way, that he doesn't want to betray someone close to him. Looking at Wilbur and Philza. Letting his anger control him to destroy the things he is against.

What we should know

The Voices are one of the problems. Screaming at him for blood or making fun of him for not being able to do something make hims even more wanting to achieve and becoming the best at it. He doesn't really like conversations and him closing in the people around him, not letting other people in and unable to control himself from his wrath, being the main factors that he needs help to fight against his anger and loneliness.

Philza

What he did good

The best take on Philza’s Fatal flaw is hubris. Why hubris again? Its the most common flaw of all of them. He shows pride of how Tommy is getting so far and is stubborn in a good way. Taking pride in how good skilled Techno is with everything. And by Wilbur being proud of his talents of making music and the way he has around other people.

What he did wrong

Taking too much pride in Techno and forgetting his other sons. He was shocked when he found out what happened to Tommy, even when it was a while ago. He only visited Tommy once (storewide) and not noticing the state of Tommy. Being around Ghostbur after he had killed Wilbur and trying to fix what had gone wrong in the past.

What we should know

Presumably Philza was thrown in a father state, without much knowledge on how being one. Constantly being surprised what the bois are doing, despite one of them being a teenager boy, he has to learn while having his sons (lore wise). Philza is also one to not be wishy washy with the children and is rather upfront with them. Which brings the problems for the children to know more the rough sides and being more stubborn. 

Nihachu

What did she good

Kindness is the thing that describes Niki the best. giving everybody a chance and believing hard and much. Its her fatal flaw and also best way to go around in the SMP. Giving other people more chances and showing the good in people. Making things easier around and helping others.

What she did wrong

The way kindness is getting wrong, is following and believing in the wrong people. Niki trusted, followed and believed Wilbur, only to realize much later, that Wilbur sunk deep into insanity already. Her kindness searches people to follow and to make a point to give out kindness. As she still followed Wilbur and he blew up L’Manburg, Niki was ready to give it all up, following the sentence “Its all gone” (I think).

What we should know

Niki believing in kindness and the things to get better, makes her an easier target to get. Thinking people would be kind and then getting ambushed is compared by the battle of the lake, that she didn't thought they would take her as a hostage, using her, for her own advantage. She being kind makes it also harder to be the person other people turn around to, since people prefer people with adamant sides.

Fundy

What he did good

When we think of his fatal flaw, then it should be hubris like his father. His has huge pride in the things he has done and will do other things when he sees his own way in it. He has his pride in his friendships and will defend them. Example with him defending Niki or visiting Tommy in his exile.

What he did wrong

Burning down the flag of the nation your father build for you isn't something to show your dad that you want him to respect you. His fatal flaw playing a role in it, is actually seeable. He had pride in the Manburg Flag he build and said that it looked good or when he choose to side with Manburg, seeing its ideals and seeing that it matched things he has taken with pride. Making Manburg a beautiful place or letting nature more happen.

What we should know

Lets just say, he was born in the nation thats destined to fall, you never really met your mum, your dad blew said nation up, your uncle and part uncle are really gone nuts nuts, your grandpa leaves you alone, your “father/mum”, that wanted to adopt you never showed up to your adoption and was also the one, who betrayed you in cold blood for a crown, your pets are brutally killed, the time your father was alive, he didn't take you seriously. Let that sink in. And you've already been in some wars at a pretty young age and you're getting harassed for being a fox. Fundy being neglected showed his negative emotions.

Jschlatt

What he did good

Fatal Flaw: ambition, the desire for power. He did have good plans (regarding making more beautiful nature, said by Fundy). He was able to start with many people, working on the things he said, not leaving it on the side. He did trust other people in their decisions of power. Tubbo staying in his positions, letting Fundy having a rank, that his father never gave him because he was never seen serious.

What he did wrong

Letting the power go to his head, he believed he did all the decisions alone, not letting another person decide in it, giving himself all the power and executing a child to show you who's in place, was his downfall. In the end he wanted ultimate control.

What we should know

There isn't much to say there, but being left alone by your hole party and the people who followed you really leaves an bitter aftertaste. After people see you're not in power anymore, they stop following because they don't see anything in you. And lets just say, do you like getting betrayed after winning an election. I mean your worker, secretary of state, he did trust him at the start, leaving Tubbo open to his own ideas. But then getting betrayed by him to overthrow you? Well for you it aint so good.

Dream

What he did good

Its actually really easy to say what Dreams Fatal Flaws are: hubris and instinctive inability to resist a challenge. We see that Dream is open to challenges and likes to win like Technoblade. He sees in Technoblade a good challenge and he takes pride in his SMP, his plans and his own IQ

What he did wrong

The thing with Deadly pride is, that you believe in yourself and your ways. You get ignorant, thinking you're better and that you already won. But then you fall on your face, because there is another way your opponent beat you. Seeing this in Dreams try to control Tommy, since Tommy is really the only one who will not let himself be a puppet to Dream. In Exile, Dream thought, when Tommy was clinging to him, that he won and he had him under his hand but ignorant that his opponent is Tommy and the person who is the most stubborn in the server. 

What we should know

To see that Dream was actually more peaceful before L’Manburg or Tommy makes you think who is actually in the right. Well, its both sides and not. Dream letting himself getting tangled up in the shenanigans of Tommy and the rest to the end where he wants to have control over everybody, can either be: 1. Being controlled by an Demon or the egg! OR 2. He lost himself, and got angry for someone like Tommy to outplay him. He wanted a peaceful place but when the chaos came, he wasn't able to resist

------------------

Well... Does this make up to the other things that have happened on the server? No, defiantly not. But nobody is really right either. Everyone has flaws and the conflicts come from ignorance, pride, false understandings or just misunderstandings. It shows us who's side can be right and what brings the conflict to the levels.

Please, I really tried my best, give your own two cents to it....

And Im sorry my brain just brought it up :I

You know what, screw it. Everybody’s just in need of Therapy and I’m on everyones side kind of.

[trashcatsnark]

You said in a previous ask that at the end, when everyone is safe, etc. you envisioned your V expecting Johnny to pursue Rogue, for them to swallow their own feeling, trying to be a supporting friend, encourage Johnny and push him to do it. Can you expand on your thoughts on the matter? Can’t help but think it is an awesome scenario

*Screams in someone asked me about my v’s canon* Thank youuuu

SPOILERS WITHIN THISS

My V even actually does this a bit prior to the aftermath of Mikoshi, because in her canon Alt tells her about the six months thing during the first meeting (because other than dramatic tension or Alt not taking the time to check, I can’t think logically why she couldn’t have told V from the start) so my V has managed to mentally hide from the Johnny the fact that due to this, she pretty resolves herself to letting Johnny have her body after the oil fields. So, she wants to make sure his relationships with Kerry and Rogue are cleared up, so they can be there for him when she’s gone. She actually goes as far to invite Rogue to the Samurai Reunion gig in hopes that her and Johnny will be able to clear the air after whatever happened on the date.

And yes absolutely once everything has sorta cleared up a bit. My V is still encouraging Johnny to pursue Rogue. Because I have a habit with my oc’s universe for it to be like okay, once all the actiony stuff has settled we’re doing a complete tonal shift and this is now a romantic comedy. But, my V also ontop of all we see in game, she goes through Temperance endings and is fucking around in cyberspace for a while. And when Johnny becomes determined to save her, one of the first things he does once they find a way to save her life/body is go see her in cyberspace through the net and of course, who did he go to first, who did he bring for safety. Rogue. So, my V has that as well as part of the evidence Johnny really loves Rogue and has no feelings for my dumbass. Mixed, with my V’s generally low self esteem and belief that anyone who really knows her can’t possibly want her.

Of course one they’re back, post her recovery, Johnny and her are full clingy and even fall back into some old habits (ie casual sex), are living together. Are essentially living as if they’re a couple, but without technically being a couple. Like, to anyone with a single functioning braincell, its clear that they have some feelings between them. But, my V also knows how powerful the relic bond was and that a decent amount of this is probably because of that. She doesn’t believe that Johnny could have romantic feelings for her and all of this intimacy is due to left over effects of the relic. And she begins to worry that this is going to negatively impact Johnny moving on from all of this. Because she wants him to have his life back and take this new chance to do what makes him happy; rekindle his thing with Rogue, start playing with Kerry again, have some independence. Because Rogue’s not gonna want to be with him if he’s still playing house with V, fucking them, and they’re clinging to him like a leech. So, she doesn’t want to continue going along with enabling these side effects because as much as she adores having Johnny completely wrapped up in her; she thinks its just the relic and it’ll get in the way of him getting what he really wants. It feels good in the moment but won’t be sustainable long term, because who Johnny really wants is Rogue. So, she’s convinced she has to just swallow her own feelings and do this to really help Johnny and be a good friend.

And a big part of everything is the fact these two dumbasses have to use their big boy and girl words to talk, yet vehemently refuse to for a significant amount of time.

So, she starts like sewing those seeds of, “well you know we’ll have to eventually stop screwing around, after all can’t have a serious relationship if you still have a fuckbuddy” which Johnny takes as V wants a serious relationship with someone other than him.

“Hey, when you think you’re up for it, we’ll start looking at apartments, I know you don’t wanna share a bed with me for the rest of your life.” which Johnny takes as, she doesn’t want to live with him for much longer.

“Hey have you talked to Rogue lately, you two should have a chat, see where things stand now that you got your body back.” Which Johnny takes as, she’s trying to push me off on someone else.

“Oh hey, that looks cool….you should take Rogue there, she’d probably enjoy another date without my face ruining everything.” Which again Johnny just sees as she’s pushing him off on Rogue, because she doesn’t want him.

She’ll even do thing like take Johnny to the Afterlife with her to get a gig from Rogue and oh cool, this is a one man job though, so you stay and have some drinks with Rogue; okay byeeeee~ And him and Rogue have a chat, because he’s so fucking down about this, because this is like his worst fear realized to him. Now, that V doesn’t have to deal with him, doesn’t have to be with him, she doesn’t want to. That she’s trying to get rid of him, because why would she want him. And Rogue, having ya know functioning braincells sees through all this shit.

And Rogue asks what the fuck is going on because she wants to hear Johnny’s bullshit idea and he’s like “yeah, pretty sure V is sick of me, keeps trying to push me off on you.”

“She thinks she’s helping.”

“What do you mean?”

“She thinks you still have feelings for me and that what we had can be salvaged.”

“Why the hell would she think that?”

“You used her body to take me on a date.”

“….okay, fair point…”

And I’m still not totally sure how everything like resolves; I haven’t even written the third chapter of her fic yet, so this is way off in the distance as is. But, my V does eventually have to leave for a decent chunk of time to take care of personal shit, and doesn’t take Johnny with her because she feels she has to take care of it without him and honestly thinks its best to break some of the dependence as much as it physically fucking hurts. And when she comes back she learns that Johnny basically spent the whole time sitting by his phone and watching the door, waiting for her to come back or call. They end up finally talking it out because Johnny says like, “you must think I’m pretty pathetic clinging to you when you don’t even fuckin’ want me”  and shes like “woah what the hell do you mean I don’t want you???” And actually talk it out and she realizes her actions made him feel unwanted and like he was the only one feeling this pull, like he needed her and she could leave him in the dust and not think twice. And fuck that was not her intention and just admitting, that she does need and want him as much as he needs and wants her, she just didn’t think he wanted her and thought she was helping him get what he really wanted. Just them finally talking like grown adults and maybe someone will fucking confess or I’ll scream.

[violetwolfraven]

Prompt: "You don't have to hide your tears from me" for Redfinch

Mkay! Angst time! Let’s go!! I’m writing this the week after Valentine’s Day!! Woohoo!!

Anyway this takes pre-canon. So... spoiler alert they do get together later along this timeline, but right now it’s angsty and the boys aren’t together yet.

Tw: mentioned abusive parenting, toxic masculinity, unrequited crush.

...

Finch didn’t really understand blood ties. The concept of owing something to your biological family the way some of the other boys seemed to.

He didn’t understand why Albert, Elmer, and Buttons kept going back to their families even though all three of them always came back tired and usually a bit ticked off at best, genuinely upset at worst.

But then again, Finch didn’t remember his family beyond his father’s fists and his mother’s voice yelling at him. He’d run away when he was 6 and never looked back, and now he only thought of them when he was working through a nightmare or an old scar twinged in the cold weather.

The newsies weren’t exactly a family, he guessed, considering most of them weren’t blood, but they were like one. Better than most families, in some ways, with how Jack and Crutchie took care of the others and though sometimes jokes were at friends’ expense, it was never in a mean way. They were ride or die for each other.

Maybe that was what a family was supposed to be, but Finch knew he’d never seen blood family that was like that. He sure knew that the only people he was ride or die for were the ones he’d chosen.

He really hated seeing the people he’d chosen hurting. Especially when it was because of their so called ‘families.’

He hated seeing when Elmer came back from his parents’ house reserved and quiet, acting surprised when his friends actually paid attention to him, and he hated how exhausted Buttons always was, practically falling asleep on his feet.

But most of all, he hated how defensive and angry Albert always was when he came home from his dad’s house. How he acted for a good couple days afterwards, like any emotion other than anger was weakness.

This morning seemed to be an especially bad day, and everyone could see it. Even Wiesel and the Delanceys wisely avoided antagonizing him too much, knowing by the look in his eyes how bad of an idea it would be to mess with him today. The other newsies were giving him space, and honestly, the fact that they were letting him on the streets today at all was a little questionable.

Finch knew Albert. He knew how that boy’s words could be just as dangerous as his fists, and could get him into more trouble. It was useful sometimes, Albert’s uncanny ability to say exactly the right thing to start a fight. It was good for causing distractions if they were running from someone or to divert away from a topic he or a friend didn’t want to talk about. Finch actually was impressed with how he could always do that without fail.

But he really didn’t feel like helping his friend escape the Refuge again. Not today.

So, after a morning of watching him seethe with anger over... something involving his dad and brothers, Finch pulled him aside in an alley, putting his papes down on a crate and blocking the way out to keep Albert from leaving.

“What’s wrong?”

“What do ya mean ‘what’s wrong?’ Nothin’s wrong. I’m fine.”

Albert tried to shove past him, clearly getting more annoyed when he didn’t let him.

“Move.”

“No,” Finch crossed his arms, “Not till you tell me what’s wrong.”

“We’re gonna miss the mornin’ rush cause you’s seein’ things,” Albert urged, trying to escape again, “Nothin’s wrong, Finch. Move.”

“No.”

“Move!”

“No.”

“Just cause you’s sweet on me don’t mean you gotta care ‘bout my problems,” Albert hissed.

Well, that was... unexpected.

Finch still didn’t know how Albert had even found out about his crush—he hadn’t bothered to ask how—but since that time a month ago where Al tried to kiss him and Finch made it clear that he wouldn’t settle for being his rebound guy, they hadn’t spoken of anything involving that. He was pretty sure Albert had been being his friend as a way to make that incident’s thoughtlessness up to him, but neither of them had actually acknowledged that conversation happened.

Bringing it up now was a dick move. Especially considering Finch could tell Albert was still hurting over Race, because he was still in love with him, because of course he was because Finch’s luck was shit.

Well, at least it looked like it was dawning on Albert—albeit slowly—how much of a dick move that was.

“I shouldn’ta said that. Sorry. Still, move.”

Finch let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding and shook his head, “No.”

“Please?”

He was a little surprised to hear him say that, but he still refused to move.

“No,” he insisted. “No, cause I know what you’re gonna do if I let ya leave this alley without talkin’. You’ll just bottle it up like ya always do, and then eventually you’ll snap on somebody and pretend you’re mad when you’re actually scared or sad. And besides the fact that you can’t last like that—it ain’t healthy—that ain’t fair to the others and I’d rather it be me you yell at than one of them.”

Albert scoffed, “I do not bottle—“

“Yes, you do,” Finch interrupted, “And it used to be Race who made ya let it out before ya snapped on someone who couldn’t handle it, but you and him don’t talk no more lately for obvious reasons, so I guess it’s gotta be me.”

It hurt that Albert didn’t trust him enough to talk the way everyone knew he used to with Race, but Finch didn’t let it show. He knew firsthand how secrets could burn holes in you. He himself confided in Henry, Tommy Boy, and Sniper when he needed someone to talk to. And he would like to be able to confide in Albert someday, but...

Trust went both ways. Admittedly, he had trouble with trust some days, so maybe it wasn’t fair that he was asking Albert to trust him.

Maybe he needed to give a little to show it was okay.

“Look, I... I know what it’s like to get hurt by somebody who’s supposed to care ‘bout you,” he admitted, “My mom and pop weren’t exactly... they... I know what I went through ain’t the same as what’s goin’ on with you now, but I’m only gonna ask you one more time: what’s wrong?”

Albert was still staring him down like he thought he could get him to back out, but Finch did see a flicker of surprise at the little piece of his past he’d confessed.

Nobody in Manhattan knew his past. He’d made sure he left all that behind in Flushing. He was sure plenty of the fellas—Albert included—had guessed the general idea, but no matter how bad the nightmares got some times of the year, Finch always tried to focus on just the right now’s problems.

He had that in common with Tommy Boy, Henry, and Sniper. Their ‘just the four of them’ talks always danced around what they were actually upset about, because openly talking about families or parents or home lives, past or present, was just too painful. That was why they gravitated to each other. Because they were the only ones who could figure out what the others meant by what they actually said. Sure, Jack took care of everybody, but he was too busy with taking care of the whole damn borough to have time to figure out their mind games. Crutchie was still trying, but he had duties as one of Manhattan’s seconds, too. Everybody else had either given up or didn’t care enough to try in the first place.

Albert knew all that. Or... he knew how much Finch was letting down his guard, openly telling him even that little.

He gave up on trying to make him back down and looked at the ground with an angry huff.

“It don’t matter, okay? Nothin’ Ben and John ain’t said to me before.”

“So it’s not a problem with your dad?” Finch asked, relieved. Sure, Albert’s brothers were technically adults, but they weren’t a big threat.

He scoffed, “No, of course not. Dad’d have to actually look at me to give me problems. Which he don’t. Practically ever. I remind him too much of Mom, as if that’s my fuckin’ fault.”

The anger in his voice was dripping with sadness, and it broke Finch’s heart. Albert didn’t deserve that.

But that was more of a long-term problem. Right now, it wasn’t what he was most upset about.

“So... Ben and John?”

“Oh, yeah,” Albert said sarcastically, “Y’know, they both had their first sweethearts by the time they was my age, so it’s hilarious to dump on how Albert’s gonna die alone. John’s gonna marry Thea, so it’s a great time to laugh ‘bout me not havin’ anyone to bring to the wedding like how Ben’s got Elizabeth. And it’s all in good fun, so I’m too goddamn defensive for gettin’ mad about it! Yeah, I’m the irrational one despite how I ain’t the one who started it!”

If he was this upset about a few little jabs from his brothers, that meant it wasn’t actually about them at all, and Finch probably should have tried to make him talk before now.

If the heartbreak he was trying to hide by keeping his face turned to the dirt was any indication, this was about Race. And that stung a bit, but it was clearly still burning at Albert.

Finch could deal with his own unreturned feelings. Sure, it hurt, but it was nothing he hadn’t been feeling for months. And he’d gotten rejected before, so it wasn’t anything new.

But Albert had never felt this before. He was volatile and emotional and he didn’t know how to express it any way but with anger because that was how he’d been raised. To his credit, he’d tried to push the others away, knowing his own tendency to lash out, but Finch hadn’t let him push him away.

Finch prided himself on his ability to read people, so he could tell exactly how gone Albert had been over Race. He could tell how much that was hurting him now, how much it was tearing him apart, and...

And Albert was crying.

“Al—“

“Shut up,” Albert snapped, even though his voice trembled.

Three years since he’d come to Manhattan. Finch had seen most of his friends cry in that time, but not Albert.

Admittedly... he wasn’t sure what to do. The others usually gave him a sign whether to leave them alone or try to comfort them, but the thing about Albert was that he craved affection but would never be caught dead admitting it. He hated letting anyone see him as anything other as unshakable even if he was on the verge of collapse.

They were just standing there in that alleyway, a couple feet apart, Albert staring hard at the ground as his shoulders shook and tears dripped off his face and Finch frozen, no clue what to do.

“Al,” he said hesitantly, “It’s okay to cry.”

“No. It ain’t right for a boy.”

“Really?” Finch risked taking a step closer, reaching out a hand slowly.

Albert clearly saw him, but didn’t back away or stop him, allowing Finch put a comforting hand on his arm.

“That ain’t what you told me,” he pointed out, “That time when I woke ya up with a nightmare. You just hugged me till I could breathe again.”

“That was different,” Albert shot back, finally looking back up to look him in the eyes, “You was hurtin’.”

“And you’re not hurtin’ now? Al, look me in the eyes and tell me you’re not breakin’ up inside.”

He didn’t. Or... couldn’t.

“Albert,” Finch said quietly, “You don’t have to hide your tears from me.”

He still looked like he wanted to hide them, but instead, he leaned forward, kind of head-butting Finch in the shoulder except he left his face there, his tears soaking through the fabric.

Finch would be lying if he said that his heart didn’t skip a beat at the contact but he shook it off, focusing on how that was a pretty clear signal that this was okay.

“It’s okay, Al,” Finch whispered, wrapping his arms around him.

He didn’t say that it would get better or that Albert would find someone else who’d love him back. He knew that saying those things didn’t make heartbreak any better.

Just being there, being a friend, being a shoulder to cry on, was better for now.

[novoaa1writes]

“f**k you.”

pairing(s): mandy milkovich x reader

summary: you and mandy are friends with benefits, or... something. you tentatively discuss her pregnancy, and offer your help. mandy is... less than pleased. (contains spoilers for season 2 of shameless)

rating: mature

word count: ~1,400

warnings: unhealthy relationships, implied/referenced canonical child abuse, teen pregnancy, implied/referenced sex, swearing, brief discussion of abortion, minor blood, implied/referenced drug addiction, implied/referenced forced pregnancy

notes: reader is an adoptive gallagher, raised with them since childhood but unrelated by blood. also, the reader is not necessarily specified as female, but they do have b00bies. take that as you will. also available on ao3.

if you've seen shameless (U.S.), this is written very much in keeping with the fucked-up interpersonal dynamics that make up the entirety of the show. the reader's relationship with mandy isn't a healthy one, and the writing reflects that. i'd even say there's likely a solid argument to be made that the relationship between mandy and the reader is actually abusive in some aspects. please don't read if that's going to trigger you in any way.

✳ ✳ ✳ ✳ ✳ ✳

You’re lying in bed together, naked and glistening with sweat, when you finally dare to broach the topic. 

“So, uh…” you trail off, sitting yourself up with a grunt to reach for the pack of cigs and lighter strewn on the floor nearby. Mandy stares you down with an unreadable expression as you put one between your lips and— “Shit, sorry,” you apologize, tossing the joint aside. Smoking and pregnancy don’t mix. “That’s, um… Sorry.”

‘Cause sure, maybe you’re not the pregnant one here, and maybe you know for damn sure that your meth-head mom wasn’t sober when she had you kicking around in her tummy, but you figure refraining from smoking around Mandy when she can’t is the least you can do.  

Mandy sighs, props herself up on her elbows and gives you a knowing look. “Just ask,” she says. She sounds exhausted. 

You lean back into bed, hold yourself up with an elbow as you turn to face her. “Pregnant, huh?”

“Ian told you.” 

“Your dad, actually,” you correct her, then instantly regret it when you see something like fear flicker through her gaze. “Ian’s fine, though.”

“No, he’s not.” Mandy huffs out a sigh, hanging her head back, eyelids fluttering shut. An errant thought comes—that you’ve never seen her look so defeated or beautiful: naked in bed after rounds of desperate sex, bedsheets sagging low on her slender hips, pert breasts rising and falling with every measured breath. You’re quick to do away with it. “My dad’s gonna kill him.”

You shrug. “Lip and I’ve been doing some brainstorming. We’ll figure it out.”

If Mandy hears you at all, she doesn’t let on. “I tried to tell him,” she murmurs, eyes still shut. “He didn’t listen.”

“Who, Ian?”

Mandy gives the slightest shake of her head. “My dad.”

“Well, I mean… We know it can’t be Ian’s, but you had that thing with Lip, right? What if it’s his?” You feel a little uncomfortable bringing it up, having grown up alongside him since you were little. Lip, Ian, Carl, Debby, Liam… they’re your siblings in everything but name. 

“It’s not.” Mandy collapses back down onto the mattress with a huff. 

“Oh,” you say. You don’t ask, ‘Then whose is it?’—even though you kind of want to.

“My dad… he drinks a lot,” Mandy mumbles after a long moment. Her eyes flutter open, but she isn’t looking at you. She’s staring straight up at the ceiling—through it, even, like it isn’t even there. Like she isn’t there. “Mistakes me for Mom.”

Every muscle in your body goes tense as nausea churns in your gut. “Your dad…” you repeat, swallowing down bile. 

Mandy slants a look over to you, dead-eyed and emotionless. “It’s not a big deal,” she tells you, a cold edge to her tone. “Stop fuckin’ looking at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like you’re pitying me.”

It takes everything in you not to glance away from her, run down the hall to the bathroom and puke your guts out in the toilet. “What do you want to do?” 

Mandy shifts her gaze back to the ceiling. “You got $600 lying around?” 

For a split second, you’re confused. Why $600— 

And then it hits you. An abortion at the clinic. 

You shake your head. “No, I don’t.”

Mandy nods, eyes watering, a sardonic smile tugging at her lips. “Thought so.”

You bite the inside of your cheek hard until you taste blood, thoughts racing. A second later, you’re surging upright, stumbling to your feet. 

“The hell are you doing?” Mandy asks, sounding caught somewhere between bone-tired and just plain irritated. 

You snatch up your jeans, feel around for the flip phone you had in your back pocke—

There it is. 

You flip it open, scroll through the handful of contacts until you reach Kev. 

Phone against your ear, you chance a look back at Mandy. She’s got a murderous look in her eye. You figure you’ve got about two minutes before she starts chucking anything and everything within reach your way. 

Please, Kev, pick up. 

Two rings on the other end, then—

“Go for Kev.”

Thank fuck. 

“Hey, Kev,” you say, beginning to pace. You’re buck-ass naked, and Mandy’s watching you like a hawk (a very angry hawk, granted), but you don’t really have it in you to be self-conscious about it for the moment. “You think I can rent out the Alibi for tomorrow night, do a, uh… fund-raiser type thing?”

“What? Who’s dying?”

You roll your eyes. “No one’s dying, Kev. I just need to raise $600 bucks. It can be a… bake-sale, or some shit. Put a couple other random things up for sale, too. Grammy’s gun, some of Monica’s old clothes… All goes well, we make enough to cover renting the bar for the night and then some.”

Mandy’s gaze turns from murderous to calculating as she watches you, though you know better than to think that means you’re in the clear with her. 

It’s quiet on the other end for a beat, then two. Eventually, “Tomorrow night?” he repeats. 

You nod, biting your lip. “Tomorrow night. I’ll get everyone off their ass to start baking tonight. Debby can make some fliers, spread the word. It’ll be a full house. Please, Kev.”

He heaves a sigh, and you know you have him. “Alright,” he agrees. “Drop by later today, we’ll work out the details, yeah?”

“Yeah, yeah, ‘course, I’ll be there,” you agree earnestly, grinning from ear-to-ear. “Thank you, Kev. You’re the best.”

“Don’t I know it. See you soon. Bye.”

“Bye.”

You’ve only just shut the phone and clutched it to your bare chest, wearing a stupidly proud grin, when—

SMACK!

Pain explodes across your left cheek, whipping your entire head to one side. 

“Fuck!” you curse, looking up to see a fuming Mandy standing before you, bloodshot green eyes alight with mutiny. “The hell was that for?”

Mandy just glares, seething silently. 

“What?” you ask, pins and needles dancing along your cheek. 

It’s quiet for a beat. 

Then Mandy’s surging forward, crashing her lips into yours in a bruising kiss, all tongue and teeth and wet warmth. 

Oh.

You’re frozen in shock for a second or two, your mind still kind of stuck on the part where she slapped you, but a warning growl against your mouth has you instinctively parting your lips and ceding Mandy’s unspoken request, reciprocating with fervor. 

A strangled groan works its way up your throat and she swallows it with ease, fingers snaking into your hair, yanking until you whine. 

You toss the phone somewhere off to the side, hear it land with clatter. You really couldn’t care less. 

Your hands fall to her naked hips and you pull her flush against your body—chest to chest, hip to hip. Mandy whines with approval as you snake an arm around her waist, pulling her impossibly closer like it’s not enough to have her breasts mashed against your own, her heartbeat thrumming along your skin. 

You want more; no, you need more. 

She’s a whirlwind—destructive, turbulent, beautiful in her fury. Your free hand creeps down to lift her thigh, guiding it to curl around your torso even as she devours you, bites at your lower lip hard enough to make it bleed. 

“Fuck you,” she gasps between violent kisses, breathless and angry. “You fucking idiot.”

“Kiss me again,” you say, and she does—gripping a hand around your throat and crashing her lips into yours, one hand still tugging relentlessly at a fistful of your tousled hair. The stinging sensation brings tears to your eyes. 

“Don’t need your help. Don’t need anyone’s help.” She pulls away panting, only to lick up the blood that’s started dribbling down your chin before kissing you again with just as much fierceness and hostility as before. 

Your cheek aches, your lip stings, your lungs burn from lack of oxygen. All you can taste is coppery blood and stale cigarettes and Mandy, Mandy, Mandy. 

She’s never been this rough with you before. Then again, she’s never been this pissed off at you before.

You decide you should piss her off a lot more often. (Especially if this is how it’s gonna be when you do.)

✳ ✳ ✳ ✳ ✳ ✳

end notes: do i realize mandy milkovich is problematic and kind of insane? yes. am i still lowkey in love with her? double yes. 

link to masterlist

[silverhandy]

I saw the devil (in me) - chapter 2

contains some heavy spoilers for the devil ending

chapter 1 I ao3

If he was expecting a profound sign that V is gone, he found none. Night City was just as Takemura remembered it - crowded, flashy, and devoid of taste, both figuratively and literally. Vendors were outshouting one another, each determined to lure a potential client into an inevitable culinary disappointment. Takemura found himself navigating through the busy market that an unfortunate shortcut led him through. In hindsight, he should have ordered a cab and arrive at the address Viktor provided unscathed and in a much shorter time, but he felt the need to stretch his legs, or at least that’s what he’d been telling himself. He still had plenty of time before the memorial service started and he didn’t want to arrive either too early or too late - the first one would no doubt result in a lot of uncomfortable silence and the latter would make it seem like he didn’t care. Takemura wasn’t too keen on either of these options and that meant a long stroll through the city.

He could never grasp why V seemed to like this place so much. She spoke about it often, cursing corporations, gangs, and ever present exploitation to kingdom come, but she also seemed to fit in like a perfect piece of the puzzle, a small, but necessary cog in a living, breathing machine. She moved through it freely, her loud confidence and necessary caution interchanging in a wild dance that made the entire city spin. Where V shined, Takemura found himself losing rhythm, coming from the strict, organized world of the Arasaka military, and eventually realizing that he’d never learn the dance that made one feel at home in a place like this.

As he approached Vista del Ray, a strong smell of old frying oil and fish gave way to more subtle scents, identical all around the world in places like this, Heywood or Shinjuku, it didn’t matter. Cigarette smoke floating up and chasing the wind, too much cologne on a young, elegantly dressed men that almost bumped into him, too focused on going through his emails to look ahead, a dinner burnt, tenants desperately attempting to air the apartment by opening a window as wide as it would go, which unfortunately for them wasn’t very far. All of that mixing, shifting, evolving into what could only be called a smell of desperation and longing for an opportunity.

Takemura left the main street and turned left into an alley, feeling the intense stares of a group of young men leaning heavily on a graffiti-covered, brick wall. He knew the type, so he just gave them a warning glare, aiding them in measuring the odds. As expected, none of them approached him, having done the math and realizing that they stand no chance. He wasn’t a local, so maybe if they stumbled upon someone else like him they’d go for it, but Takemura had Arasaka written all over his features, suit and tech.

El Coyote Cojo seemed like a bar identical to many others, but the second Takemura walked through the door, he was sure he was in the right place. There was no music playing, the room filled with a murmur of hushed conversations between all the people who came to say their final goodbyes. And there were quite a lot of them. Takemura felt the corners of his lips go up in a sad smile. Of course, V had a lot of people who’d want to be here, the open suite full of them, standing in their small, respective groups, some around the tall tables, others hunched over their drinks at the bar. From where Takemura was standing, he hardly saw any familiar face, but then again, in those short few weeks he got to know V, there wasn’t much opportunity to get to know all the people she was close with. There was no time for that and more importantly, he didn’t feel like it was his place to intrude into her personal life. After all, they were just coworkers, of sorts, helping each other towards a common goal.

That is, until that stakeout on the roof. If Takemura was to pinpoint a moment where he could in full confidence call V a friend, it was those few hours they spent going over the entry points to Arasaka Industrial Park, analyzing the routes of transports going in and out, coming up with yet another idea how to get in without getting shot on the spot.

Then they got pizza and the conversation naturally shifted into something more casual, them reminiscing on their pasts and their futures. How different things were back then. V in what might’ve been her best, determined to get her life back and him doing the same.

It seemed none of them got what they wanted.

Someone passed next to him, whispering something about him getting a move on under their breath, and only then did Takemura realize that he was still standing in the doorway, staring somewhere above the heads of the mourners. Glad that he hadn't caught the attention of everyone in the room, he took a few steps forward and then, finally, he noticed Viktor, waving at him from his seat at the edge of the bar.

When Takemura approached him and took a seat next to the ripperdoc, the first thing he noticed was that Viktor looked noticeably older, dark circles under his eyes only adding to the feeling. Dressed in a classy, black suit that sure has seen better days, Viktor looked out of place, almost like...

"I was already thinkin’ you wouldn't make it." he started, mindlessly rolling the nearly empty glass in his hand. "How was your flight?"

Small talk, then.

"Good enough, thank you." then, after a moment of deliberation, Takemura added. "I usually do not fly commercial."

"Oh? What on earth stopped Arasaka’s golden boy from taking an AV?" Viktor asked, calling a bartender with a wave of his hand.

Takemura hesitated for a moment, but before the looming pressure of every passing second making the situation more awkward had a chance to set in, the bartender, a tall, heavily tattooed Latino man approached them to take his order.

"Just water, please." the bartender’s brow shot up, as if asking Takemura if he was sure, especially considering the occasion, but seeing that his client wouldn’t backtrack, he simply pulled up a glass. When it was full, two cubes of ice clinking inside, Takemura looked back at Viktor, still patiently waiting for his answer.

"My higher ups don’t exactly know that I am here." he finally said, taking a sip from his glass to wash down the ping of anxiety he felt swelling up the moment he mentioned his unauthorized trip across the ocean. Not that it mattered anymore. The sword laid at the bottom of his suitcase, carefully wrapped in silk, just waiting for him to get some closure he apparently longed for so desperately.

This time, Viktor’s brow shot up.

"No leave to mourn a friend?"

"I’m afraid they would not consider it a reason important enough to neglect my duties."

"You clearly did."

"Yes, fully aware of the consequences that await. But I could not miss it, I suppose I needed some…"

"Closure? And they wouldn’t let you have that? No wonder they call it a soul sucking job. Sorry to pry, but why don’t you just quit? Put in a two months notice or somethin'?"

"It does not work like that. Not when you have been there for as long as I have."

Viktor clearly wanted to say something, but just as he opened his mouth, everyone present started walking up to the area on the left from the bar, gathering around a small table covered in freshly lit candles, V’s photo in the middle. She was smiling, little reflections of the candle flames dancing in her eyes. V’s hair was shorter than Takemura remembered, it must’ve been taken well before they met. In a better time.

It was Viktor who stood in front of the crowd to address them. His voice sounded strained at first, unusually high, but he cleared his throat, once, twice and didn’t let his voice break even once. He spoke with confidence, yet calmly, the same reassuring voice Takemura remembered from when he ended up in his clinic alongside V, with multiple gunshot wounds and some more or less minor lacerations.

After Viktor was done, a young woman with colorful hair took his place. Clearly battling with her shaking voice, she told about the time she and V went diving in the ruins of her childhood hometown. How she still had the camera that V fished out for her and how she’s still trying to fix it, but even if she won’t be able to bring such an antique back to life, a braindance they recorded together will keep a piece of V alive forever. After that, people started taking turns, each with their little story of what V meant for them. Takemura couldn’t quite focus, each new face blending with another, a never-ending litany composed of the good deeds of a woman that no longer was among them. When it was his turn to speak, Takemura hesitated.

"I did not know V for as long as most of you, but I am honored to have been able to call her a friend."

And that was it.

                                                              ***

"A lot of people came."

"I’d say a third of them were fixers from every single part of this fuckin’ city. Never took them for a sentimental type."

"Me neither."

"You know...you know what she told me in those last few weeks? “Viktor, if you dare to shed a single tear at my funeral, I swear I’ll rise up from the dead again and kick yer sorry ass”. It was one of the last things she told me, anyway. Couldn't really speak much later on." Viktor took another swing from the bottle, wiping his mouth on the sleeve of an already ruffled suit jacket.

Takemura didn’t ask how V was doing in those last moments. Didn’t need to, when he arrived at the clinic professor Kusama didn’t spare him any of the details. Quite the opposite, she was elaborate, listing all the end-stage symptoms in a cold, clinical tone. Upon hearing them, a thought crossed his mind that if it was about him, he’d beg to be copied and stored into Mikoshi. But not her. V wasn’t a coward like him and faced her death the way he’d never be able to.

"Viktor, I am..so deeply sorry." he just muttered, unable to form anything more concise. What was he supposed to say, anyway? How did his remorse and guilt compare to Viktor’s pain, who got a front row seat seeing all the ways V was withering away, day by day? Who must’ve spent hundreds of hours at her bedside, making sure that she’s comfortable in those last moments while Takemura spent those months bundled away in an office reviewing mountains of meaningless documents, too scared to even call her?

"Nah." Viktor waved his hand, almost knocking over Takemura’s glass. "She wouldn’t want us to mope like this. Imma be okay soon enough. After all, grieving is a process and all that. What about you? Been holdin’ up okay?"

"Yeah." Takemura said, but his voice came out coarse. He cleared his throat. "As much as circumstances allow."

Viktor hummed, clearly not convinced. For a second Takemura was sure the other man would push the matter, but he dropped it. Two shots of tequila seemingly materialized on the counter before them when Takemura wasn’t looking, too focused on Viktor and his own thoughts.

"How ‘bout just this one and we call it a day?" Viktor asked, taking the glass into his hand.

"I suppose it can’t do any harm." Takemura replied, raising his own glass. "To V?"

"To V."

                                                             ***

Paradoxically, only when cigarette smoke filled his lungs he could finally take a deep breath. He excused himself a few minutes after their fourth round of shots. It’s not like he didn’t enjoy Viktor’s company, but the doctor was too perceptive for his own good and with each sip of alcohol chipping away his composure, Takemura felt that steel grip on his throat grow tighter and tighter.

He was alone in an alley right next to the entrance, cold winter air slowly sobering him up. Most guests have already left, only a few hindered behind, talking in the same, lowered voices he heard before. Not like he could hear any of that through the music, an old rock song he couldn't recall. Takemura slowly exhaled, a cloud of smoke dulling the air in front of him. It was time.

"Do you mind?" a woman's voice, right next to him. Takemura cursed under his breath. He was getting careless, much too distracted for his own safety. He turned his head and to his relief, he recognized her. A friend of Viktor’s, this tiny blonde woman, she ran some kind of an esoteric shop in the front. Misty was her name. They chatted a few times during the weeks Takemura would drop by the clinic to check on V.

"Not at all." he replied and moved a little to the side, making room for her to lean on the brightly painted wall. She didn’t take the invitation and remained standing, her big, brown eyes staring at him in a mix of emotions he could only describe as pity. Or maybe it was concern? He couldn't tell the difference anymore.

"You know," Misty started, her voice even softer than Viktor’s during his speech. "your pain is not lesser than his."

Takemura’s hand froze halfway from taking another drag of the cigarette. "Excuse me?"

"I’m just saying you shouldn’t cut yourself off. Viktor does that too, but not like this. The pain will not disappear if you keep running from it. It’ll just chase you up, no matter what you do. It’s better to make peace with it."

He didn’t know what to say. If he was in his right mind, he’d probably make up an excuse and walk away, but her words struck a chord in him that made him freeze, not daring to move even a little.

"I have made peace with it" he finally said, putting out the cigarette on the stone wall. He’ll find a trash can to throw it in later.

"I’m not the one you need to convince, Goro."

"I..I am sorry, but I have to go. My return flight leaves in a few hours."

Misty gave him a sad smile.

"I hope you’ll soon see that you’re exactly in a place you’re supposed to be in."

[justahopelessssromantic]

Perfect

Part 8

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4 // Part 5 // Part 6 // Part 7 // Part 9 // Part 10

A/N: Hey guys thank you so much for all the love and support you’ve given me and this story ❤️ We wouldn’t be where we are without all your love and kind words it truly means the world to me 💕 so thank you so much, I love you all. Now grab your tissues cause this could get rough.

*gif not mine*

Warnings: Spoilers for Season 2! A little steamy, very emotional second half. Angst

Parking behind EZ’s bike you noticed no other vehicles or bikes, specifically Angel’s around and let out a sigh of relief. He would be here eventually but for now you were thankful that you would have some time with just EZ to help calm your nerves before facing Angel. Felipe’s truck was also missing and you figured he must have gone out for something.

You were early.

Shutting your door and clicking the key fob until your car honked signaling it was locked you walked up the walkway, climbing the steps and then entering the home as you had so many times in the past.

“Hello,” You called out as you hung your purse on the hook by the door. You didn’t get a response so you assumed EZ must be out back. Making your way through the house and into the kitchen you opened the fridge setting the tray of blueberry bars you had made for desert on the lowest shelf.

Turning back around you looked over at the urn for Marisol, so beautiful. There was a pang in your chest every time you saw it but you knew having her close was good for Felipe. It was sweet how he still talked to her everyday. They had the kind of love that was everlasting, the kind of love you were so sure you and Angel had possessed as well.

Stepping over to her you kissed your fingers before placing them gently onto the cool surface, “Hey Marisol,” you murmured, “I’m sorry it’s been so long.”

The sound of the back screen door sliding open caught your attention. You gingerly moved your hand and smiled. Stepping out of the kitchen and into the living room you turned the corner expecting to find EZ but ended up finding Angel instead, your smile faltering,“I thought you were EZ. Where’s your bike?”

He stepped into the room with you, hands in his pockets, “It’s getting some work done. Pops and EZ had to run to the shop and pick up some shit.”

Great, it was just the two of you. You gave him a nod in understanding, not sure what else to say or do.

“So are we gonna talk about it?” He asked breaking the silence, “Or are we just gonna act like whatever that was at the clubhouse didn’t happen?” He knew this may not be the best time but he wasn’t gonna just drop it like it never happened. And no one was here to stop him.

“There’s nothing to talk about,” you replied bluntly.

“Really? Cause I got a whole lot I could say.” He said sauntering closer to you.

“It was a mistake.”

“You can’t tell me you don’t want it to happen again,” His cologne mixed with the scent of nicotine surrounded you making your knees weak, “You can’t tell me you didn’t enjoy every moment of it. The way my tongue ate you up, my fingers curling inside you. God you tasted so good,” he groaned, getting closer with each word, “You can’t tell me you don’t want me filling you up again, to feel my seed seeping out of you. I know your body aches for mine just as mine for yours, querida.”

“Come any closer Angel and I swear to god I will slap you again,” You warned. If he came any closer you were afraid your body would betray you and you couldn’t have that. You wouldn’t give him that satisfaction.

“Well considering what happened last time I wouldn’t be opposed,” he knew he was being cocky, he knew he was pushing it, but just earlier you were hanging around with another guy and it was driving him crazy ever since he saw you together. But you and him had history, he had the upper hand and he wasn’t gonna let that slip through his fingers.

And part of him was also pushing all the emotional baggage that was to be unleashed to the back of his mind the only way he knew how.

“It was a mistake,” you repeated, “It’s never happening again,”

“Really? You don’t even want to just fuckin’ use me again to get off?” He said, voice low and gruff, “You at least want these back, don’t you?” Pulling your panties out of the pocket of his cut he dangled the green lacy fabric in front of you, a smirk splayed across his face.

You snatched them out of his hand, glaring at him, “Yes, I do.”

“I washed them, in case you care.” He said nonchalantly. The sound of Felipe’s truck alerted the two of you to the rest of your party’s arrival. You were so relieved and quickly shoved the article of clothing into your purse before the men entered your home.

EZ stepped through the door first, greeting you with a grin, “You’re early.” He commented. He was hoping they’d be back before you so you wouldn’t be left alone with Angel but he should have known you’d be early. He could feel the tension in the room and hoped Angel hadn’t done too much damage.

Smiling at the two men you gave them each a hug and a kiss on the cheek, “Here I’ll get those,” you told EZ taking the bag from his hands and following Felipe to the kitchen, “I made some blueberry bars for desert.” You said.

Felipe smiled, leading you out the back with him, “Sounds delicious, mija.”

EZ turned his attention to his brother who was leaning his shoulder against the wall, “What did you do?”

“Nothing,” Angel shrugged off his brother's accusation, heading in the direction you and his father disappeared off to.

EZ caught his shoulder before he could get far, keeping him back a minute, “Look I know you've been caught up on that Matt guy, but tonight is not the night Angel. You wanted me to help keep you from saying stupid shit? Well then you have to listen to me.”

He hated having to listen to his little brother, but he knew he was right. Tonight was not the night, “Alright, what do you got baby bro?”

“Well,” he started, “How about every time you feel like saying some asinine shit you take a bite of food. Keep that mouth of yours occupied.” EZ grinned at him.

“That sounds like a stupid fuckin’ idea.”

“Well please, by all means do it your way if you don’t like my idea. But if you want her back I’d listen to me.” EZ wanted to do whatever it took to keep the peace tonight, to have somewhat of an enjoyable meal before they shattered your world around you.

“Alright.” Angel gave in walking past his brother and grabbing some beers out of the fridge before joining you out back.

The four of you sat around the small table enjoying your steak dinner, Angel and Felipe on the ends with EZ next to Angel and you Felipe. The four of you chatted casually, you, Felipe, and EZ more than Angel about everyday things such as how the carniceria was doing, the new business opening down the street, and all the things the people you grew up with had been up to in your time away.

Angel listened as you talked animatedly, getting lost in your words and the sound of your voice. Still he couldn’t stop thinking about that damn man named Matt. You were with him this afternoon for god knows how long and the image of the two of you walking together wouldn’t leave his mind. It was driving him insane before he knew if he was blurting out, “So how was your date with Matt?”

EZ shot Angel a look, a silent exchange happening between the brothers.

‘What the fuck? I told you to keep your mouth shut.’

‘What, it’s an innocent question’

Everything was going so well.

“You’ve met him?” You asked, as far as you knew he only ever saw him when you were walking together, unless of course he asked Felipe about him.

“Nope.”

“Well first of all it wasn’t a date, I was just helping him out, he’s new to town. I was just doing the neighborly thing,” you explained taking a bite of your mashed potatoes.

Yeah sure, Angel thought. That’s a perfect excuse to get a girl to spend time with you and the perfect way to take advantage of a good person such as yourself.

“He’s actually very nice,” you went on talking about the man you had just met earlier in the day. You really liked Matt, he was kind and funny, easy to talk to. “He’s working mostly across the border, a former Marine.”

Of course he was. Angel was going to comment but EZ’s stare bored into him so instead he took a bite of his food, as suggested by his younger brother.

“Oh and he has this adorable pit bull he rescued from a dog fighting ring,” You commented. He had shown you a picture of the sweet girl, “Her name is Violet.”

Well isn’t he just a fucking hero, another bite was shoved into Angel’s mouth as he really started to regret bringing him up.

You continued to talk about your afternoon with Matt just getting lost in the excitement of a new face in town, a new friend. You weren’t trying to make Angel jealous or even rub it in his face, you were just genuinely happy and didn’t even think of Matt in any other capacity than as a friend.

Still Angel was jealous, more importantly he was threatened by this seemingly flawless man who was now in your life. He didn’t trust the guy and he was afraid he’d win you over, taking you away from him forever.

You finished your meals and had gathered up the dishes insisting you’d wash them, EZ being your dryer. EZ put away the last plate exchanging a look with his brother and Pops.

They knew they couldn’t put it off forever but still none of them wanted to re-live the pain and none of them wanted to put you through it again as well. All in all it was an awful situation.

“I had a really great time, missed this.” You said drying your hands off on a towel, back to the three men, a smile on your face. “Thank you.” Turning around you looked at the three Reyes’ men, your smile falling as the atmosphere around you had completely changed, “What is it? What’s going on?”

“We have something we need to tell you, mija.” Felipe said, taking charge of the situation. His family was in this mess because of him, he should be the one to lead, to start the difficult conversation.

“Okay,” you said. Your heart sped up as your anxiety increased, a million things running through your mind. Whatever it was you knew it was really bad.

“It’s about Mom,” Angel said, meeting your eyes.

Now you knew it was really, really bad.

“Why don’t we go to the living room,” Felipe suggested, “This will be best if you’re sitting.”

You followed Felipe and EZ into the living room, Angel bringing up the back. Sitting on the sofa Angel sat down next to you. You looked over at EZ leaning against the wall, hands folded in front of him and then to Angel, before looking back to Felipe.

The faces of the men around you were somber. You tried to mentally prepare you for what was to come, but nothing could have prepared you for what you were about to hear.

“Before we were Felipe and Marisol Reyes we were Ignacio and Isabela. I was working for the División Antidrogas Federales and on the Galindo Cartel’s payroll.” Felipe started, as he sat on the chair in front of you. “I had an affair with Dita Galindo, I feared for our safety so we changed our names and fled to Santo Padre, California.”

“That’s why Marisol was killed,” Felipe stated, trying to keep his composure, “Because of me.” His voice cracked.

It was as if the world stopped spinning as everything slowed down around you. The voices of the three men surrounded you, muffled as if you were trapped underwater, morphing together into one indistinguishable voice.

The ticking of the clock was deafening, the usually easily ignored sound now the soundtrack to such a horrible moment in time.

Tick

“Dita Galindo put out a hit on Mom and Pops.”

Tock

“We tracked down the man, Happy. EZ remembered him from that night, recognized him at one of the club’s parties.”

Tick

“He gave us what we needed which led us back to Galindo.”

Tock

“Emily filled in the rest, was able to get proof of the payments, all there and all signed by Dita Galindo.”

Tick

Your heart ached in your chest, heavy and desperate to claw its way out. The pain so intense you wanted to scream, to cry, to do anything.

But you didn’t, you couldn’t.

You just sat there in silence staring off, sitting with the unbearable agony that consumed you on the inside.

Tock

Their eyes were all on you, waiting for you to say something, to show them something, but you gave them nothing. Your gaze was fixed on the dent in the wall across from you, a remnant of the life lived here in this home, the love shared within the walls, the pain confined in the small space, forever.

The exact moment the blemish was created played vividly in your mind, as if it was playing out in front of you before your eyes.

The three of you, Angel, EZ, and yourself, were running around the living room playing tag. The California heat was a record high that day so you were forced to spend your time together inside, instead of outside like the three of you much preferred.

Marisol was in the kitchen baking cookies, the smell filling the home, the sweet scent clear as day in your mind.

Angel and EZ began fighting, arguing who was it, as they started shoving one another. You watched as younger you tried to get between the two, to break up the fight, but you just ended up in the shoving match.

Before you could stop it the three children tumbled down together crashing into the wall resulting in the dent that was never mended.

A hand landed on your thigh pulling your attention away from the scene. Looking down you examined the familiar hand, large and rough with rings adorning the long fingers, unfamiliar scaring across the knuckles. Your gaze wandered upwards tracing the Mayans ink across his skin and then all the way up to his face, meeting the familiar deep brown orbs.

“Mi dulce?” His voice finally sounded out to you. The Reyes’ men had been trying to get your attention for some time now, but it was Angel’s touch that had brought you back.

“Hmm?” You asked, not able to form words.

“Why don’t you take her home, son.” Felipe suggested to his eldest, “It’s been a long night.”

Angel nodded standing up from the couch, extending his hand out and lifting you to your feet. You followed him as he grabbed your purse off the hook by the door and fished your keys out of the inside pocket you always kept them in. Your body followed Angel as if by its own volition, your mind feeling numb as the aching in your chest wouldn’t subside.

He opened the door for you, giving his Pops and brother a nod goodbye before heading out the door. Following behind you silently he unlocked the vehicle just as you got to the passenger side.

Slipping into the driver seat he turned the ignition on before stealing a glance at you. Your face was turned away staring out the window and his heart broke. He didn’t know how to help you, wasn’t sure what was running through your mind.

He hated this feeling of helplessness. Hated not knowing how to ease your pain, how to ease his own. Before he’d scoop you into his arms, holding you until it all faded away and only love remained, but now everything was different, you were different, and the silence was killing him.

You pulled up in front of your house and followed Angel up the steps waiting behind him as he flipped through your keys until finding the right one and unlocking the door. Holding it open for you he carefully watched as you made your way into the home, dropping your purse on the ground beside you.

The crushing weight was suffocating, you wanted to ask Angel to stay, to hold you and make it all go away but you couldn’t find the words so you just stood there as he stood in the doorway behind you watching.

He longed to hold you, was waiting for you to tell him what to do, but you wouldn’t. He decided to make the first move, not caring about all the shit between you two. All that mattered was here and now. And even if you wouldn’t admit it out loud you needed him and he needed you.

He closed the door behind him, the only light in the house illuminating through the curtains from the moon outside and onto your skin. Placing one hand on your shoulder he pulled you around to face him. His eyes welled with tears as he looked into yours, so lost and broken. He ran his hand instinctively down the side of your face, such a small intimate moment before pulling you tightly to his chest and holding you there in his strong arms.

That was all it took for the floodgates to finally open. Violent sobs wrecked your body as you clutched onto his back, holding him just as much as he held you, the built up anguish finally vacating your body.

Angel nuzzled his face into your neck, his own tears flowing now as the two of you stood in your embrace, clinging onto each other as a lifeline, like you had in the past.

“Tell me what you need,” his voice was hoarse as he mustered out the words.

“Don’t leave me.” You couldn’t bear the thought of being alone right now. You wanted the familiar comfort that only Angel could provide you with.

“Okay.”

Pulling away from the embrace you wiped at your face, “I’m gonna shower,” you said your throat and voice scratchy.

He nodded following behind you as you made your way to the bedroom, turning the hallway light on to illuminate the way. He stepped into the bedroom with you and sat at the foot of your bed, watching you disappear behind the bathroom door connected to the room and listening as the shower turned on from the other side.

He wanted to join you but he didn’t want to push it, so instead he leaned down untying his boots, kicking them off and placing them nicely by the bed. Slipping his cut off and unbuttoning his shirt he stripped the article of clothing off and set them atop the dresser before walking over to your nightstand where he noticed a gold picture frame. Picking it up he smiled as he looked at the photo of you, EZ, and him sitting around a campfire laughing.

“That was a good day,” your voice startled him. You had just walked out dressed in your pajamas as you padded over to him.

“One of the best.” He replied, turning to look at you. Your eyes were puffy and you looked so very tired. “Now what?” He asked. He just wanted to do whatever it was that you wanted, whatever was needed of him to help you through this.

“Hold me?”

Nodding he set the picture back down in its place and walked around the bed to the other side. Shedding his jeans before pulling back the covers he crawled into your bed, arms open for you to join him.

Slipping under the covers and into his arms you snuggled close to his chest, his arms wrapping tightly around you once more. You stayed there for a moment in silence, just being there for the other.

“I’m sorry,” Your voice was hushed, just barely above a whisper as you stared into the dark.

“What for?” His tone matched that of yours as he tilted his head to look at you. He couldn’t fathom what on earth you’d be apologizing for.

“For not being here for Felipe, EZ,” you tilted your head up to look back at him, “you.”

He shook his head, “That’s not on you, mi dulce.” He kissed your forehead rubbing his hand up and down your back.

That was on him.

Even so you couldn’t shake the guilt you felt. Leaving your family to uncover such horrible truths alone, leaving Angel alone.

“I heard about what happened to Dita Galindo,” you mentioned, remembering you had seen the news while you were away. You ran your thumb back and forth against his bare chest, the little movement of your skin on his bringing you some comfort, “That was you?”

Angel’s heart broke even more if that was possible. They had told you that but you must have still been processing everything, the shock hit you hard, “Mmhmm,” he replied, “That was us.”

You nodded your head gently against his chest, still trying to wrap your mind around the last few hours. The ache returned to your chest as you squeezed your eyes shut, trying to keep the pain and tears at bay.

Angel felt your body begin to shake again. Holding you tighter he nuzzled his face closer to yours, shushing you, “It’s okay, it will all be okay.” His voice broke, betraying him. He was trying so hard to stay strong for you but that was proving impossible. “Try to get some rest, mi dulce. It will all be okay,” he said once more, desperately trying to convince himself just as much as you.

Perfect Tag List: @jadert15 @joalsglasses @chibsytelford @lover1307 @mrsamaroevans @expir3d-l0v3 @dearsamcrobae

Everything Tag List: @jad3djay @fairygardenss @carlaangel86 @briannab1234 @starrynite7114 @agirllovespasta @howaboutash @gemini0410 @naytraydr

[littlespaceporgs]

The Clone Wars Reacts - Part 5

Or Leah loses her shit at Jar Jar, thirsts for Aayla Secura for an episode and a half, and then swoons for Riyo Chuchi.

Welcome once more to the Reacts series! I’m a busy woman for now but I am setting up a schedule for this series which will be

Today we’re covering episodes 12, 13, 14 and BONUS! 15. This is because I got super bored during episode 14 and basically didnt write anything so, here you go! As per usual, major spoiler alert for season 1 of the clone wars! If you haven’t read the previous parts to this series, I suggest you do so that you can follow along! 

Part 1 - Episodes 1 and 2 Part 2 - Episodes 3, 4 and 5 Part 3 - Episodes 6, 7 and 8 Part 4 - Episodes 9, 10 and 11

Tags (if you want to join, my taglist can be found on my page!): @likeshootingstarsinthenightsky @girlvader @simping-for-fives @littlevodika @hounding-around @pro-fangirls-unsocial-life @onabouteverything @acciokenobi @catsnkooks @captainrexstan @roseofalderaan @fractiouskat

We’re well past the half-way point, so there is 2 parts left of season 1, and then onto season 2! So lets get into it!

Episode 12: The Gungan General

> heheheheheheheh jar jar I am KEEN

> I get hondo and jar jar in one episode

>> this’ll be funny

>>> actually no scratch that, this is gonna be hilarious

> oh and they woke up in a cell this will be fun

> HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA AND THEYRE BOUND TO DOOKU

> DISASTER I TELL YOU

> “if I keep my mouth shut you’ll devise a plan so get off the god forsaken planet?” “YES”

> this dude seems traitorous as fuck (im referring to one of the pirates, not dooku shockingly)

> I wish Ahsoka and Yoda were in this too, I want more disaster lineage

> ah he is indeed a traitor

> “HEIDY HO CHANCELLOR”

> JAR JAR WHOO

> “stop messing around, we’re landing. Secure yourself” “MESA TRYING ITS STUCK”

> promptly followed by jar jar falling everywhere

> oh and now he’s in the cockpit

> oh shit that senator guy is definitely dead right?

> “do control tour protégées insolence” “anakin, control your insolence, the count is concentrating”

> “do we know where we’re going?” “Ssh anakin” “DO we know where we’re going?”

> is it safe? Of course it i- riiiiiight

>> I forgot this was the clone wars for a second, this is gold

> FRIENDS DONT DRUG FRIENDS HONDO

> y’know, dooku’s quite amusing when he’s not trying to kill my favourite characters

> “are you now in command” “uh no, binks is the highest ranking” ooooohhhh boy

> ooooooohhhh and some mind tricks too, nice

> I hate to say this, but jar jar is actually smart

> holy shit

> beasties are nearby too, we’ll be fine. they run, we run

>> Dayum jar jar actually making good decisions?

> I present a real and accurate image of my reaction to this statement

> Mesa be having an idea oooohhh booooyyy

> obi wan that is no way to speak to your grandmaster

> be patient master the count is elderly and doesn’t move like he used to

> I would kill you both now if I didn’t have to drag your bodies

>> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH this is the only reaction I’ll accept

> then falling all over each other is the only thing I’ve ever needed to see

> “ this is not going well” no shit

> my question is why did obi wan not drop Dooku?? Does he actually still care about this man?

> you’re right, I don’t think youre going to be friends 🤦‍♀️😂

> sneaky lying snake

> bruh they don’t even know you’ve got the Jedi captive??????????

>> so how does that work you dumbass

> no shit, you will look like fools obi wan

> “there be some bombad clankers” 😂😂

>> “huh YOURE right, bombad clankers” I love the shock

> YOURE RIGHT HE IS SMARTER THAN HE LOOKS, GIVE JARJAR SOME CREDIT

> oh boy anakin, just keep your mouth shut genius

> man electrocution doesn’t look like fun

> HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAH

> The next few lines of confused joy are me reacting to jar jar somehow single handedly taking out 3 tanks

> what the fuck

> JarJar I I’m what-

> JUST DID A GOOD THING, I DONT REGERT THIS THING AT ALLLLLLLL

> fuckin JarJar was great

> “KILL HIM HES NOT A REPRESENTATIVE, HES A PLAGUE” I’m ded 💀😢💀

> serves you right you snake, now dooku gonna choke your ass

> oooohhhhh that’s how these two twits (hondo and obi-wan) became friends

> “and... he knows where you live” Oof the subtle threat is real

> hem I love obi wan very much and his sarcasm

 Episode 13: Jedi crash

> I JUST SAW AAYLA I AM EXCITED I AM ALSO ATTRACTED TO HER VERY MUCH

> SHES HOT

> I LOVE HER

> AND HER VOICE JUST MAKES ME ☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️

> I wish I was bly, not gonna lie

> I have a quick question - the 501st colour is blue right? Then why do they have a gold squad, doesn’t the extra colours just confuse things?

> I love seeing anakin and Ahsoka in action coolest thing to watch

> And anakin

>> I am also quite attracted to him

>>> imagine dragging your hands through that hair as he- wait no I have minors in my followers not gonna finish that

> Uh oh

>> Oh anakin you twit

>>> HE LOCKED HOMSELF IN WITH AN EXPLOSION JDGKJDJFKFKFKFKFF

> HES INSANE

> Are all Jedi so reckless? Just the good ones - love this by the way

> Oooohh shit for a STAR

> I mean like? I know anakin doesn’t die, but this shit is concerning

> Perfected the art of destroying ships and getting master almost killed? Sounds familiar

> I hate it when they just call them “padawan “ it just feels very impersonal like bleh

> Like I love aayla but god the Jedi preach some bullshit

>> God forbid someone raises a child and gets attached to it

>>> Like for fucks sake

>>>> Can you tell this is something I’m passionate about?

> Anyway, moving on

> Oh hi anakin! You’re alive!

> That bird lookin thing is tryna eat my boy 😤

> Oop - well that dudes dead

> Aawwwwwww aayla looks so sad, this makes me sad too

> Can we just appreciate this?

> Well these little critters are cute

> Ooooohhh I think I agree with this little dude

> You can skip the paragraph if you like, its just me going off about ‘peacekeeping’

> Alright gonna get mildly into it for a second, the clone wars really gets into it with episodes like this, displaying how the entire galaxy was starting to lose faith in the Jedi and their peacekeeping ways, in the movies we just got that people just started hating the Jedi because they became part of the war, but this really fleshes it out and shows just how slowly and gradually the loss of faith is. Because he’s right, the Jedi aren’t peacekeepers anymore, they bring as much destruction with them that the separatists do and have become symbols of war. They’re fighting for a good reason yes, but they can no longer claim that they are peacekeepers or that they played no role in this war.

> ANYWAY BACK TO REACTS

> AH MY TWO FAVOURITE WOMEN AND A PRETTY BACKGROUND AGAIN!! They really do be doing me a great service

Part 14: Defenders of Peace

> I’m really not into this episode, just saying it now

> Anakins just as bad as obi wan, like honestly just chill bro, fucking REST

>> MY BOYS DESERVE SOME GODDAMN REST AND I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL OK-

> Okay but is it taking a life if it’s a droid?

> Ugh this dudes ugly as fuck

> What did you think was gonna happen?? Of course your village was going to be ransacked

> I could go on forever about the pointlessness of this war like it just makes me mad palpatine you slimy git-

> My reacts this episode are really boring huh, I’m not into it 😭

*fully I didn’t write anything for about 10 minutes here because it’s just a little boring*

> HOLY SHIT NOW THATS A FUCKING WEAPON

> Yep sorry that’s it for this ep, I’m so bored 😂

>> Anyway, bonus episode because that one was short!

Part 15: Trespass

> YES OBIWAN WOHOOOOOOOOOOOOO

> AND IS THAT RIYO CHUCHI I SPY?????

> Hahahahahahahhahahaha it’s not tatooine, you got that right

> Oh god this dude already sounds like a dick (its the chancellor dude but not palpatine)

> Why’s he so defensive over it?

> Oh yikes, that does not look good

> Seppies don’t do that though - this is... odd

> Ah and the same thing has been done to the droids

> Off topic, but I think I’m going to make a clone wars drinking game that I can do while I do my reacts, so I’m going to make that this week, send me your ideas in the comments or dm me!

> Back to ep - pfffffffttt obi wans little taps and then anakin really goes WHACK

> Anyway I’m going to do this in the next couple days and then every Friday night I’ll watch a few eps and drink away

> Alright back to the episode once more

> Abominable snowman????

>> Definitely

> This is gonna go well isn’t it?

> “Well? Say something”

>> “Just shut up” *visible eye roll*

> What the fuck is their mouth

> Okay really obi wan, I think it’s pretty clear they don’t speak basic

> YEEEEEEAAAHHH THATS MY BOI ANAKIN

> Awwwwwwww that shits cute, fucking bear huugggg I want to be hugged like that

> I’m not fussed if it’s anakin, obi wan or kit fisto but please someone love me

>> Preferably kit fisto

> Anyway this dudes a dick (again, its the chancellor dude)

> They obviously have intelligence, and this dude has issues

>> I’m thinking he’s trying to compensate for something 👀

> Oof you really gonna tell a Jedi what to do?

> HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA the other people’s were there already

> Ugh he reminds me of my very racist grandparents oh boy

> You’ve been told like 4 times that it is not your jurisdiction anymore and you still can’t take it?

>> BRUH

> She’s so tiny and adorable and her voice is just 🥰🥰🥰🥰

>> Oh no

>>> I’m simping for another character

> Surely this guy dies

> HAHAHAHAHAH HE JUST GOT SPEARED SERVES YOU RIGHT MOTHERFUCKER

> What a dick, he shall not be missed

> She’s just, so pretty??? And smart????

>> FUCK MY BISEXUAL ASS CANT HANDLE THIS

> he’s seriously not dead yet?

> AAAHH RIYO YOU SMART GIRL YEEEEESSSS NEGOTIATE THAT PEEEEAAACCEEEE

> THATS MY GIRL SENATOR CHUCHI YEEEESSS

Welp that’s it for today folks, it was lovely, see y’all at some point this week where I say the drinking game rules and then next drunken Friday (even though these are gonna be released on saturdays but I write them on fridays?)

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-12-25

I’m not going to spend time BLOGGING an upd8 on Christmas morning!

...yes I am who the fuck am I kidding.  (Bonus stuff and Hiveswap are still well on hold though.)

So are we gonna follow up on the main ship?  Probably not, right, with that perfect Karkat point to cut away, right?  We’re just going to leave Roxy’s question hanging, as well as makeouts etiquette, and leave while having seen a COUPLE FRAMES of non-possessed canon Jade with only whatever fun fanart was inspired across the internet by the moment to tide us over????

Yeah, probably.

Ugh, more Dirk.  I guess it’s overdue.  :(

> CHAPTER 16. Welcome to my Secret Lair

Oh huh, I guess not?  So... Jane’s, or Rose and Kanaya’s?

Karkat stays for longer than John thought he would. They talk a bit, but mostly they are quiet. Eventually, Karkat gets called away on yet more important war business, leaving John with one final touch on the shoulder. John leans into it in response, though he’s a bit ashamed of chasing down a sliver of physical affection so soon after obliterating Karkat’s evening like he had.

Pretty much, yeah.  Can’t blame either of them.

When Karkat is finally gone, John still doesn’t move. It isn’t as though he has nowhere else to go, since there are quite a few places he might attempt to make himself useful, for better or for worse.

You’re still abandoning the task that was explicitly yours to protect your literal kid and his friends, but, oh well.  Low-point.  Dave dead, house dead, broke news, I get it.

He just doesn’t feel ready for that yet. The remnants of his house are still smoldering, and he can’t stop staring at them. It would make sense, he thinks, to want to root around through the rubble for anything that’s still intact; some half-charred keepsake to claim as the last thing left that’s still his. But he doesn’t want to do it, and he doesn’t want to think about it. And he still can’t move.

Can’t move.  No Breath huh?  What’s going to get him to, then?

> (==>)

Oh boy, that might help.  XD  She’s pretty good at that.

> (==>)

Still with the waistline gap.  And was his phone always yellow like his God-Tier shoes?

ROXY: hey john can u do me a quick solid ROXY: actly idk how quick itll be but its definitely solid ROXY: harry anderson says i just missed u being here but could u skip back on over?

Nice, huh!  No judgment, just a hey-any-chance-you-could-swing-back.  He sort of needs to be needed right now, in a simple, almost everyday non-judgmental way I guess.  (That’s what he NEEDED anyway-- whether he deserved it though is up for debate.)

ROXY: i need help w/smth and yr darling boy is holed up in his room working on some fuckin craft project or other and cant be bothered

YES SEW JOHN A BETTER FITTING FUCKING OUTFIT

ROXY: and now that me and u are freshly on speakin terms again i might as well take advantage of that olive branch and put u to work ROXY: assumin you havent died in an air raid, that is ROXY: which id also be interested in knowin about so if u wld be so kind as to reply instead of leavin me hangin

Heheheh.  Gosh Roxy is always the best.

JOHN: yea yea sorry im here. JOHN: i just had a hard time getting my phone out of these fucking tiny pants.

Hah.

JOHN: and also my house is bombed out so i'm kinda grappling with that. JOHN: but i honestly am not sure how much longer i need to sit around staring at it. trying to align my memories of my youth with whatever is happening right now so JOHN: short version is no i’m not dead, and yeah i can come back over there and help you out. ROXY: oh sweet yr alive and down to do manual labor its a win/win JOHN: see you soon.

Yep!  Pulled away from all the metaphorical, ultra-meaningful bullshit, back to some brass tacks with some easy humor.  Definitely something Roxy can do well.~

> (==>)

EXCUSE ME.  What is that outfit and pose.  Did you--

ROXY: sup ROXY: follow me ROXY: well were just going to my room so i guess technically u know the way JOHN: haha ok.

Did you invite him over for the manual labor of banging you while your son is sewing in the other room

Or maybe the labor is making him a new sibling.  JFC

Is this plan part of why we got the sudden content warning that was mocked or was that mainly for Hiveswap 

John follows, trying to shake the ominous feeling he got from what she’d just said. He’d been in and out of this house a lot in the past few days. Why should this be any different?

I DUNNO JOHN DOES THIS SEEM DIFFERENT TO YOU

> (==>)

Yea this seems like a fucc room.

JOHN: it’s not like i could forget! ROXY: ya i guess u only really saw the living room when you were here the other day but i have changed some stuff up ROXY: done a lil redecoratin here n there

So it’s MORE of a fucc room than previously >__>”

ROXY: may have to do a smidge more if my old bff decides im next on the list for bombing out ROXY: but so far so good

Ah geez.

ROXY: just a coupla exploded cars in the yard from some shenanigans our dear son and his friends were in but u kno it is what it is!!!

Well, that’ll buff out easy.

ROXY: can i get u anything? ROXY: just made some coffee JOHN: no, uh, i’m good.

Of course she has a fancy handled winecoffeeglass  (and the handle does look ridiculous but it’d be too hot to hold otherwise)

Roxy shrugs and swirls her own coffee around in her novelty mug. John looks around. A lot about the room is the same. The family photos, the rug. There’s a lot more cat stuff in there now, though. The bed is new. John feels like he’s about to take a test he hasn’t studied for. He makes himself focus on what she’s saying.

That would be the feeling.

> (==>)

MY GOD.  Roxy is so fucking good at this holy shit

She KNOWS she’s making him squirm and she loves it

JOHN: so uh anyway. JOHN: what was this favor? ROXY: yo why dont u just come rest yr tush for a bit ROXY: take a lil relax next 2 me here JOHN: haha uh. JOHN: roxy i uh. JOHN: im flattered, but i don’t know if that’s really the right step right now. JOHN: don’t get me wrong, everything seems so fucked up right now that when i try to think about what might actually BE the right step, it feels like a huge cartoon question mark might physically manifest over my head. JOHN: but I’m not sure if um rekindling our physical relationship is really the best--

So is Roxy trolling him, about to reveal she wasn’t thinking of sex and was just making things seem sultry?  Or just had “lol jk” as an option-select, maybe.

> (==>)

ROXY: r u kiddin me rn egbert JOHN: i’m not? unless you were, in which case yeah lets say i was also kidding. JOHN: oh my god, i’m sorry, i don’t know why this making me freak out.

OH NOOO NOT THE DISDAAAAIN - CRITICAL HIT D:

ROXY: i remember our past boot knockin with fondness but that is a situation im not interested in revisiting

boot knockin XD

ROXY: look john ROXY: i was trying to be polite about it ROXY: offering u sustenance n rest n all ROXY: but you look like shit ROXY: i just wanted to catch up on the whole heinous war situation were in and maybe check in on e/o before leaping strait to the real n actual nonsexual manual labor favor i have in mind for u JOHN: oh.

Hey, she can’t help looking sexy she’s too good at it.

Is the manual labor moving the crashed cars?  Can’t Roxy pull that off on her own, or... banish the cars to the void or something?  (Oh, but WOULD she want to do it on her own when she can rope in John and bring him down to earth by giving him a useful task?  And admittedly his strength and wallet would make things easier.)

John feels his shoulders unbunch. Of course. Yeah. He’s almost embarrassed by how relieved he feels. So what if his ex wife wanted to hook up? Shouldn’t that be a situation he could navigate? Don’t people like to find solace in human physical connection during dire times? Why did the idea of it make his mind white out in panic more than, say, any number of the traumas he just experienced?

Probably some gender stuff mixed up in there too, June.

He doesn’t know, but he believes Roxy that he must look pretty haggard. He probably feels haggard? Maybe sitting down will feel better.

Just put your feet up yeah

> (==>)

WHAT A CUTE IMAGE

JOHN: sorry. like i said, my "how to react to stuff" meter is completely fucked right now. ROXY: thats fair bud

she’s used to being patient with you don’t worry otherwise you never would’ve gotten this far

ROXY: real fast i do need to do a quick takeback of all that shit i said last time we talked about janey not being literally the most evil person we knew or whatever ROXY: i guess i was hopped up on arguin or somethin since that was before we hit our conversational vibe bc of course u were right and i shoulda listened

Ouch.  Yeah, we saw just lately just how far off the deep end she was.  (Where was that funny upd8 reaction art summarizing the bit where Kanaya was holding Tavros hostage and Jane was transparently debating “hmm do I let my son die?” and Kanaya and Tavros were just looking at each-other flat-mouthed nervous?  I REALLY wanted to share that but I don’t usually want to reblog or put most stuff HS^2 not under a read-more, for spoiler purposes, usually.)

ROXY: im just glad ur ok ROXY: or like alive JOHN: yeah, jury's still out on "ok" but, you know. ROXY: ya ROXY: u said ur house is gone?? JOHN: yep. JOHN: completely. ROXY: jeez ROXY: i would ask how ur feelin but like the answer 2 that has got 2b "prtty bad"

Talk it ouuuut~~  get those feels out there and articulated john

JOHN: yeah. JOHN: i mean. JOHN: no? JOHN: it’s weird. JOHN: it feels like it should be a bigger deal, I guess? JOHN: like it’s my HOUSE. JOHN: but mostly it always felt like my dad’s house? JOHN: and when i started living there after i moved out of here, it was like i crammed myself back into whatever was left of my kid self? JOHN: and it didn’t feel good, but it at least was familiar, you know? JOHN: like living there let me feel closer to my dad, trying to be like the way i remember him, or like how i remember him wanting me to be, or something? JOHN: and i didn’t realize how much i hated doing that until i saw it all go up in flames. JOHN: so i guess i could have used my powers to stop the fire and save whatever was left of the place, but i couldn’t bring myself to do it. JOHN: like some fucked up part of me was glad i got there too late? JOHN: so i just sat there, watching, trying to figure out why watching my house burn down felt like i was being released from prison. JOHN: and even now i keep trying to explain it away, as though it’s because of how fucked up everything else is that it made me feel good. JOHN: but that’s just bullshit. JOHN: it DID feel good. JOHN: i DO feel free. JOHN: sorry.

I was kind of saying some Breath/Blood stuff at the time of him losing his last tie to his stubborn sticking-to-his-kid-self bit?  Except now we’re mixing it in with June Egbert and his gender-identity questions too.

ROXY: no need 2 apologize ROXY: we just delved in2 my whole gender thing last time so it seems fine for u to have a turn JOHN: i didn’t say it was a gender thing.

Oh shit

ROXY: well no i just meant like i did some sharing ROXY: like referrin 2 the topic i brought up when we chatted last ROXY: but like now that u mention it ROXY: *meaningful pause* JOHN: … JOHN: i JOHN: ROXY: lol well we can move on 2 the favor part if youd rather ROXY: stick a lil pin in that topic n come back 2 it when u have had sleep

Are you just INCREDIBLY incisive Roxy or have you and John talked about this before?

ROXY: like i said the other day its not like this shits figureoutable in 1 sitting anyways JOHN: yeah... ROXY: sooooooo ROXY: movin on

It’s just fine for Roxy to slow-roll this yeah, if she’s going to pry open that door a little

ROXY: dont be mad but theres a part of the house u didnt know abt the whole time u lived here JOHN: what? ROXY: yea ROXY: i got a secret lair ROXY: for my sciences

OH FUCK YES SCIENCE LAB, of COURSE Roxy would want a cool science lab basement because she always wants a cool science lab basement

ROXY: and i get to it via a transportalizer underneath our bed ROXY: which is 2 heavy 2 move by my lonesome so i just needed to borrow some o your aforementioned powers of wind

Okay no.  Wait.  What the fuck?

First of all, as funny and MSPaintAdventures-y as furniture being in the way of things is, why would you block it with a bed too heavy to move, but,

Second of all, more importantly, how is a GOD-TIER ROXY not strong enough to lift a heavy bed?!?!?!?  Either she’s lying to get John involved in things or this is a gendered cop-out because these characters are superheroes at the TOP of their echeladders, given obnoxiously powerful video-game strength and athletics only to then have ascended into DEITIES.  God-Tier Roxy could probably have lifted a bed like that when she was SEVENTEEN!  And now she’s an ADULT, out-of-shape or otherwise!  If this were a whole CAR I might be willing to handwave it, but just a heavy BED?!?  And none of the GUYS are going to have this much trouble lifting a bed like this, are they??  This just feels like following classic cartoony gender tropes in the complete absence of these characters’ super powers, what the fuck, and also Roxy if you didn’t make it Transportalizer-only access you could have given it an entrance you could phase through with your fancy powers to get to.  FUCK.

This feels stupid.

ROXY: so if u dont mind woosh away JOHN: uh ok, well... JOHN: a secret science lair, sure, i can deal with that. JOHN: why not! JOHN: it doesn’t work out great when i do the windy thing indoors, though. ROXY: aight then no wind bending just use your mangrit

Roxy flexes, the corner of her mouth pulled up into a familiar grin. John feels his guts, so recently calmed, twist up into knots again. Her eyebrows shoot up and the smile loosens. He must have shown something on his face.

You’re already THIS sensitive about gendertalk?

ROXY: ok or just like push when i push ROXY: we both got sick muscles ROXY: no other adjectives necessary JOHN: yeah ok. ROXY: on 3?

Please, please reinforce the idea that they both have sick strength, because they fucking do and the idea that Roxy actually a hundred percent NEEDED John to do this is BS.

> (==>)

JOHN: holy shit? ROXY: sorry to lop yet another huge scoop onto ur lil brains ice cream revelation sundae JOHN: so wait, if this thing's always been under the bed, how’d you get down here before without me? ROXY: well thats neither here nor there john JOHN: i mean it is kinda. Here. ROXY: fine ok checkmate ROXY: i dont ACTUALLY need ur nerdgrit for this escapade ROXY: like im sorry but i said it ROXY: i mostly just wanted to see you and show u wats down here

THANK FUCKING CHRIST.

If that wasn’t actually just a lie to get him involved I was going to stay SO mad.  Of COURSE Roxy can move a fucking BED no matter how heavy it is.  OF COURSE.

ROXY: and also uve been ~sent for~ JOHN: ok but like ROXY: john i am inviting u 2 my inner sanctum ROXY: i am literally bringing out the word "sanctum" in case u werent already clued in 2 how cool this is ROXY: so do u wanna go into my secret lair or wat JOHN: yeah!? JOHN: yes? i guess? ROXY: aight good

Yes John of course you want to stop fighting it

ROXY: then as they told me in the hospital before lil h a was born ROXY: just push

eyeroll, but yeah, of course

> (==>)

Oh cool, sprite form version of her loungewear.

> (==>)

Sorry for my compulsion to post every full-frame image of Roxy in this awesome outfi-WERE YOU KEEPING CALLIOPE UNDER YOUR BED THIS WHOLE TIME?!?????

That’s like... almost a fucking metaphor isn’t it????  For the relationship you preferred in the other timeline and possibly THIS one TOO or

ROXY: hey callieee i got him ROXY: o damn john sorry i shoulda also told u callies here weve been hangin out again ROXY: 1 more freak for ur bean

Oh huh, so this isn’t an always thing.  And these two can get close in more than one timeline where it would’ve worked out nicely.  :)

JOHN: oh it's ok, my bean feels pretty well adjusted to freakage at this point so keep them coming if you like! ROXY: k cool i will JOHN: do i get to know what that big thing under the sheet is? ROXY: hmmmmmm no JOHN: oh ok. JOHN: are you sure? i mean, it seems like a pretty prominent feature of the room. JOHN: space. JOHN: wherever we are. ROXY: and a totally mysterious n COMPLETELY inconspicuous feature it will have to remain for now ROXY: we r kinda in a hurry here fyi ROXY: and by that i mean ROXY: we are in precisely the amount of hurry that means im excused from having to a that specific q rn JOHN: right, sorry. JOHN: i will pay no attention to the object behind the curtain. ROXY: u catch on fast egbert ROXY: anyway theres more cool info coming so just follow me

I don’t have any big theories.  Is it just the Hiveswap device or something?  If Calliope helped with it it’d help explain the Cherubic theme.

> (==>)

JOHN: so... this is all downstairs? JOHN: it seems like you had a lot of work done. ROXY: well no not x actly ROXY: were in the old meteor JOHN: under the house??? ROXY: ok so ROXY: in hindsight it may have been a bit misleading 2 say like ROXY: "downstairs" ROXY: in reference to a place which is hells of buried underground and may not actually be literally under the house ROXY: but there is no time to explain all that rn john so instead im going to refer u to my adorable little green friend here CALLIOPE: #U_U# ROXY: (hehe) CALLIOPE: *AHEM* CALLIOPE: hi john! CALLIOPE: long time no see. ^u^

Cherubs just really like dark cavelike places full of weird tech don’t they.

> (==>)

THEY’RE SO CUTE

JOHN: oh, uh. hey callie! JOHN: it sure has been a while huh. JOHN: now that i think about it, the last time the three of us hung out like this... CALLIOPE: was when i was aggressively third wheeling yoUr prenUptial coUrtship? CALLIOPE: if yoU dont mind, john, i'd rather not rehash that period of oUr lives. CALLIOPE: it was more than a little painfUl for me. JOHN: oh. JOHN: god, jeez, i'm sorry. i didn't mean to-- CALLIOPE: hee hee john i am only pUlling yoUr leg, don't worry. CALLIOPE: if anything i was personally a little thrilled with how things shook oUt in that respect. CALLIOPE: imagine, if yoU will, a yoUng cherUb raised in solitUde, whose only solace was the convolUted and tUmUltUoUs romantic schemata she projected onto her only friends from another Universe. CALLIOPE: and then fUrther imagine that this yoUng cherUb, throUgh varioUs even *more* convolUted contrivances, ended Up in the company of those selfsafe friends as an eqUal participant in their sphere of social discoUrse! CALLIOPE: it is a joy the like of which yoU possibly cannot fathom. u_u

Reinforcing that things turning out this way was in fact the FANTASY that Calliope was writing over in the Canon timeline.  Just, heavily, HEAVILY implied that the Candy timeline is -- or at least originated as -- Calliope’s fanfiction as a Muse of Space, and its competition for audience interest with canon is the essential conflict between alt!Calliope and Dirk (or Dirk and Andrew Hussie).

CALLIOPE: so to pUt it simply, getting to experience sUch emotional drama myself was an impossibly enriching experience. CALLIOPE: possibly a first for my species! CALLIOPE: it's actUally qUite interesting, if yoU ROXY: *nudge* CALLIOPE: oh, right. yes. i'm getting a little carried away, haha. CALLIOPE: argh, i'm sorry, this is not how i planned to begin this vital conversation.

Vital conversation?  What sorta truth-bombs are coming?

CALLIOPE: but to sUmmarise, what i was trying to say is: CALLIOPE: don't beat yourself Up aboUt it john. CALLIOPE: besides, hUman divorces are even more fascinating than i had ever imagined, and being able to witness yoUrs in motion was an honoUr. CALLIOPE: so i consider Us aboUt even at this point. JOHN: hahaha!!! JOHN: okay, well that's good to know! CALLIOPE: ^u^

Holy SHIT that was savage!  And we’ll NEVER know whether or not she really intended it so savagely, either.~

JOHN: so um... JOHN: i hear that there's this big secret thing you wanna tell me about? CALLIOPE: oh right, yes of course! CALLIOPE: let me jUst say first of all how thrilled i am that yoU're on board. CALLIOPE: i wasn't sUre if yoUr natUral inclinations woUld have preclUded yoUr coming to such a place as this, and yet here yoU are. CALLIOPE: this whole endeavoUr will be *so* mUch easier with yoUr help.

Uh oh.

Hopefully babies aren’t involved.

JOHN: oh! well, shucks. JOHN: not really sure what that means but i'm just glad to be of use somewhere, haha. JOHN: which, speaking of somewhere, CALLIOPE: ah right, right. yoU're probably a little cUrioUs as to where the dickens we are. CALLIOPE: how much do yoU know aboUt black holes? JOHN: um... like, the big space things? CALLIOPE: they aren't always big actUally, and in fact their relative smallness is practically their defining qUality. JOHN: oh. CALLIOPE: bUt okay i think we are on the same page. CALLIOPE: so, what if i told yoU that we are inside of a black hole right now.

Oh dear, we’re getting into the canon/noncanon divide?

JOHN: um... JOHN: like, HERE? JOHN: we just transportalized into a black hole? CALLIOPE: no, i mean, what if oUr whole WORLD was inside a black hole. JOHN: ok.

Yeah, that’s gonna be John’s reaction.  “ok.”  Pretty much inevitable.

CALLIOPE: earth c, or at least oUr version of it, has, from the moment we crossed the victory threshold, been inside a black hole. JOHN: ok. CALLIOPE: and not just any black hole, bUt the very black hole in which the green sUn Ultimately met its demise, allowing oUr victory in the first instance! JOHN: huh! ROXY: ("huh!") ROXY: (rofl my fucking ao egbert) JOHN: (shhhh!)

And Roxy enjoys his non-reaction reactions as much as we do, hehe.

CALLIOPE: bUt, paradoxically, the critical moment which determined its capture within the black hole happened *after* that point. CALLIOPE: i refer of coUrse to yoUr decision not to retUrn to the mediUm and fight my brother. JOHN: wait, wait. JOHN: you mean, the meat and candy thing? JOHN: oh my god. JOHN: you mean i actually DID make a mistake that day. CALLIOPE: well, that's not exactly what that-- JOHN: ugh, i fucking KNEW it! JOHN: i'm so sorry. JOHN: i'm so sorry that i put the earth inside a black hole everyone. ): ROXY: john ROXY: listen ROXY: u have got to get out of this mindset i am begging you JOHN: ):

Yeah shake him out of this shit.

ROXY: your choice literally didnt matter ROXY: the whole thing was symbolic in the first place ROXY: literally symbolic in the case of the picnic i mean come on ROXY: it was just some steak and a plate of candy suckers JOHN: oh. CALLIOPE: i mean, i wouldn't go so far as to say that the meal we shared was unimportant, given the sacred significance of the two options i presented. CALLIOPE: but yes, yoUr choice of snack was infinitely less important than the choice which it presaged. CALLIOPE: and even then, calling it a choice woUld be sorely misleading. CALLIOPE: think of it like a coin flip. CALLIOPE: the series of events that led to Us being trapped beyond the event horizon of an Ubermassive black hole could be considered "tails", while the events which would have occUrred otherwise could be considered "heads". CALLIOPE: since both were possible, and paradox space is the way it is, they actUally both happened. and we jUst "happened" (hee hee) to get tails instead of heads. JOHN: you mean we ended up with the bad possibility. CALLIOPE: not at all! since both possibilities depend on one another's existence, it really doesn't make sense to call them "right" or "wrong". they both just "are". JOHN: o...kay... CALLIOPE: u_u

Yeah, it’s going to take a bit more than that to convince him he didn’t make the “wrong decision”.

CALLIOPE: i realise that this may be a lot to process. CALLIOPE: it's easy to forget that this wasn't obvioUs to everyone from the beginning. CALLIOPE: anyway, the reason i went on this tangent in the first place was to explain that the space we are standing in right now has a special significance, in that it is the location which corresponds to the black hole's singUlarity. JOHN: oh, wow. JOHN: um. JOHN: ok so, sorry if this is a dumb question to ask suddenly, but what does being inside of a black hole actually... mean for us? JOHN: is that bad? JOHN: is it like in movie, um, JOHN: shoot. JOHN: roxy what was that matthew mcconaughey movie from your earth that we watched? ROXY: u mean interstellar JOHN: RIGHT. JOHN: the one with the organ. JOHN: man. i cried at that movie so much. ROXY: lol u can say that again ROXY: iirc at least part of y u got so weepy was the fact that u couldnt believe a version of earth existed where ppl got 2 watch more mcconaughey films than you JOHN: listen. JOHN: i simply don't think you all appreciated the gift you were given. CALLIOPE: i don't believe i'm familiar with this particular film ^u^;; ROXY: oh dont worry cal you didnt miss much JOHN: (gasp)

This is all gold

ROXY: but the important point is that no its not really an interstellar type situation here egbert ROXY: ur not gonna enter a weird time vortex and change the trajectory of a little girls life with the power of love JOHN: aw.

Dammit, now we have to be on the lookout for that possibility.  Or it did sort of already happen more than once to John.  ...Whatever.

CALLIOPE: to go back to your original question, john. CALLIOPE: it's not strictly speaking "bad" for Us to be inside of a black hole, mUch thoUgh that contradicts most of what anyone knows about them. CALLIOPE: of coUrse, if we had fallen into it, that woUld be a whole other kettle of fish. CALLIOPE: the tidal forces woUld have stretched Us all into spaghetti and then ripped us apart! CALLIOPE: bUt the natUre of oUr arrival was more akin to simply "being" here, sUddenly. one moment we were not, and the next moment we were, and somehow always had been. CALLIOPE: in everyday, practical terms, being inside of a black hole has very little bearing on Us. CALLIOPE: i mean, the natUre of space and time is a little finicky in here, bUt for the most part it doesn't seem to be anything too oUt of the ordinary. CALLIOPE: bUt beyond that, it means that we are sealed away from the rest of existence. CALLIOPE: oUr sphere of inflUence is limited to the sphere of the black hole's bounding horizon. CALLIOPE: as far as everyone else is concerned, we might as well not even exist! JOHN: is there no way we could let anyone know that we're in here...? CALLIOPE: almost certainly not!

No?  So this doesn’t have to do with the divide?

CALLIOPE: there are very few ways for anything to escape the kind of predicament that we are in right now. one of them is to be an all-powerfUl being with control over the very fabric of space, with the energy of two Universes at yoUr disposal. CALLIOPE: in which case, escape woUld become rather trivial, if a little Unscientific. JOHN: ok. i am going to assume that we can't just do that. CALLIOPE: yoU've hit the nail on the head, UnfortUnately. U_U CALLIOPE: the method i described was the one employed by my alternate self, who yoU may recall crashed through the event horizon in the body that once belonged to jade harley. CALLIOPE: she departed through a pUnctUre she created in the black hole's surface shortly after consUming my brother, a deed which provided her with the necessary "oomph", and which was frankly rather breathtaking to watch. =u= CALLIOPE: bUt Upon her departUre, the rift closed for good. as far as i can see, there's simply no way for Us to commUnicate with the world oUtside the black hole.

What the heck?  Calliope SAW all this?  Is this her Muse powers at work, letting her observe these things, or was she there?  And John certainly did NOT see ANY of what Calliope just said happen.

CALLIOPE: i woUld certainly be very sUrprised to find oUt that anyone had managed sUch a thing!

So we’re going to find that out if we haven’t already.  Maybe something to do with the way Vrissy just conks out narcoleptically?

JOHN: ...right. JOHN: so... let me just get this straight. JOHN: knowing that we're inside of a black hole... does that actually change anything? JOHN: like, can't we just go on living like normal? CALLIOPE: oh absolUtely not. CALLIOPE: i don't know if yoU've noticed john bUt this world is on the brink of a total cataclysm. JOHN: oh.

Um, what?

CALLIOPE: oUr exclUsion from the overarching coUrse of events which governs all reality means that oUr existence here is liable to dramatic and violent Upheaval. CALLIOPE: to pUt it another way, becaUse nothing in here "matters", we are likely to be sUbjected to things which are a bit bats in the belfry, for no reason other than it's totally insignificant to the wider canon of reality. CALLIOPE: and mUch thoUgh i am personally titillated by some of the conseqUences of this predicament, it is a degrading way for Us to live. u_u JOHN: that's... certainly one way to put it, yeah...

No plot-armor for your entire timeline, I guess, yep.  Outside of canon, we can imagine and write about ANYTHING happening to the characters, or just drop their existence entirely, much like a doomed offshoot timeline.  It’s a plot stability that depended heavily on the threat of Lord English and being trapped in a story, and without it things are bound to see a BIT chaotic (or “degrading” if you view it as subjected to the whims of fanfic writers, certainly).

CALLIOPE: at first, i believed that this was simply necessary. Us playing tails to oUr coUnterparts' heads, the black to their white, and so forth. CALLIOPE: bUt over the years i have come to the conclUsion that this is simply not kosher. ROXY: its total bs is what it is CALLIOPE: right, yes. CALLIOPE: a steaming pile of bUllshite. CALLIOPE: and so we have decided that something needs to be done aboUt it.

Ah fuck.  You’re going to regulate non-canon?  “Canonize” it?  Is the fact that you eventually succeed at whatever it is you’re trying to do part of why we have the story presented to us in this bifurcated structure?

ROXY: this is finally where u come in jegbert ROXY: we gots quests for yous CALLIOPE: hee hee, yes. CALLIOPE: or *a* quest, to be specific. JOHN: oh boy! ROXY: (this fkin nerd i s2g)

Roxy and Calliope setting him on this quest as a Rogue of Void and a Muse of Space feels fitting.

JOHN: i'm not sure how i can go about freeing us from a hellish space prison, but i'm up for giving it a try i guess? JOHN: i have... literally nothing better to be doing at this point. except for maybe hanging out with harry anderson. ROXY: nice save lol

YEAH WE’RE STILL GLOSSING OVER HOW YOU LEFT HIM UNPROTECTED, JERK

ROXY: but u dont need to worry abt busting us outta space jail tbh ROXY: thats not ur problem to fix JOHN: oh. JOHN: i'm... not sure i follow, then. ROXY: i mean yeah ur gonna obvs facilitate it in a sense ROXY: but only by going and busting the person who can actually help us outta normal earth jail CALLIOPE: we need yoU to free vriska from the clUtches of oUr misgUided friend jane, and bring her here, to the singUlarity. ROXY: weve been calling it the plot point CALLIOPE: yes, the plot point is a key part of oUr plan. CALLIOPE: as far as we have been able to sUrmise, the only remaining method for escaping oUr grim confinement depends on leveraging the UniqUe properties of this location to create an event of sUch catalcysmic proportions that it simply cannot be contained within the black hole any more. CALLIOPE: something SO dramatic, so hyper-relevant, that it becomes ontologically impossible for anyone to ignore it. CALLIOPE: for that, we need an individUal of sUfficient narrative cloUt, so to speak. CALLIOPE: and to liberate her, who better than the embodiment of the aspect of freedom itself? CALLIOPE: ... CALLIOPE: phew. okay, i'm finished. CALLIOPE: CALLIOPE: sorry, that took longer than i expected to go throUgh.

..............................

OOooooh, kay.

Whatever this is, it’s going to be really weird and PROBABLY infuriating and/or shippy, and I’m probably not going to like it.  Plus it seems like it’s some sort of inverse belated canonization of some other black-hole-rescue theories I went on about at some point.  Although, related to that link, “aspect of freedom” if anyone wasn’t paying attention!  That’s a (sorta-)canon mention of the purpose of it!

They’re going to attention-wh-- attention-hog themselves out of the black hole so that they’re “considered canon” too, or close enough.  Huh.

ROXY: what r u talking about cals that was great ROXY: i could listen 2 u plotsplain for years CALLIOPE: oh you >u< ROXY: fyi this was why i wanted u to get a move on eggbread ROXY: so callie could have more time 2 infodump ROXY: thats love bitchhhhhh JOHN: hahaha. JOHN: ok, well, i think i understood all that?

Love with who? Callie, John, both?

In reality, John isn’t sure what most of this means. But on balance, it feels okay? He’s gone back and forth about a hundred times in the last week about where his place in everything is, so he might as well ride this out. Plus, the last time a Lalonde kind of told him to do something, he thinks that he chose not to, and look where that got him. And it’s not like he has other plans. He may as well do this! It’s at least going to get him involved in things again, if nothing else. He turns to go, and then hears a sound. It’s the sound of feet and knocking on doors, echoed through stone and digital static.

Oh shit.  Is Andrew trapped behind some fourth walls behind the curtains.

> (==>)

Oh RIGHT also that DEVICE is where they want to bring Vriska.  Are they going to overturn part of canon itself with a super-retcon thus making this timeline unbelievably relevant or--?  Maybe make all the PESTERQUESTS canon or something?!  I don’t know.  Maybe they’re INTENTIONALLY starting the game like Vriska wanted to??????

Guh, this is something so big that I don’t WANT to theorize about it, do I.

JOHN: did you hear that? ROXY: wha ROXY: oh yeah uh ROXY: i may have messaged rose and kan and jade to check on them too ROXY: so its prob onea them showin up ROXY: they don’t need to know bout all this tho ROXY: we got time to chat with them b4 u go get vriska

No, even if it’s a knock at the somehow-top-level-house-even-under-buried-- oh, right, maybe it’s covering in part a monitoring system that looks up there.  But still, part of that sound was DOUBTLESS these two hiding something, all standing in front of the curtain like that.

JOHN: i’ll go stall em. ROXY: thx babe ROXY: oh is it 2 soon for that joke or JOHN: no, weirdly enough, that one’s fine. ROXY: oh good ok see u up there soon!

How is calling your significant other “babe” not cool REGARDLESS of gender?!  Like wasn’t that always cool? --Oh wait is it because they’re not together or... but... guh, I don’t know.

Anyway, see y’all after the holidays at least.