#(someone reading this like “why the fuck is she talking about Richard III on this post about Loki???”)

[nostalgia-tblr]

See, the one Sadboy Loki stan-meta point I will generally agree on is that the desperate need for a throne is about wanting the acceptance and acclaim (ie The Poor Sad Woobie Just Wants To Be Loved) so yeah fair enough on the redemption arc being But What If Friends?? and What If Me But Hot Hot Selfcest Gaining Self-Respect?

I suppose the proof of that is that while pretending to be Odin and literally being the king of Asgard he... did fuck all, really? Wrote a play about himself, lounged around a bit. That's not someone who wants the power bit of being the ruler of everything and while I may disagree on the exact depths of his emo despair and whether it's a moral get-out-of-jail-free card I do agree that yeah the thing that makes ruling everyone attractive to Loki is that those everyones (erm...) will then pay attention to you and tell you how great you are.

That probably *is* the Younger Son thing at work, innit? "Well, if your brother were to die in a "hunting accident" of some freak accident or plague (btw he is basically immortal so this is v unlikely) then we'd need you after all, so we'll keep you around and make sure you're exactly the sort of arrogant twat we need for that job and probably stop you getting too interested in doing something else with your life *but* as mentioned you're basically the insurance policy that we're unlikely to ever actually need so... maybe you could take up knitting? Bee-keeping?" (This is, again, why monarchies and primogeniture are fucking *terrible* ideas that lead to societies overflowing with young men itching to become Crusaders and Conquistadors but I'm sure nobody needs me to go on about that shit again though I just thought of a thing I should add to that fic)

[infinitelytheheartexpands]

annnnnnnnnnnd we’re back!:

-somebody is having a really bad day

-measure for measure

-why does everyone love putting heads on pikes so much

-cocktail party time!

-mourning chic

-making sex jokes about your brother

-edward that is a TERRIBLE in

-this girl’s got good comebacks

-“the bluntest wooer in christendom” you got that right

-oh so he just straight up proposed to her lmao

-and there’s the richard we all know and love (to hate)

-i love the moody piano in the background

-audience: *laughs at richard talking about his looks*

richard: is that a fucking joke to you (not wrong, honestly)

-yeah i wish they would have cast a disabled actor but a) this was the 80s and people didn’t do that *sigh* and b) andrew jarvis continues to be great nonetheless

-“many lives stand between me and the crown” has anyone ever considered doing henry vi part 3 and richard iii in the style of a gentleman’s guide to love and murder (2014)?

-oh hey henry finally sort of became a monk! (i mean he has a wife and kid but yeah)

-awwwwwww precious baby

-margaret keeps fighting

-oh hey warwick what are you doing here

-edward is just like “i’d like to leaaaaaaaaave”

-this lady is just so confused

-if looks could kill

-ohhhhhhhh shit

-warwick: friendship ended with edward now henry is my best friend

-well at least she’s willing to forgive i guess

-oh so now we have the kingmaker and all of france on henry’s side

-messenger is like idk what the fuck just happened

-the line read on “his well-chosen briiiiiiiide” lmao

-well this wedding party is going splendidly

-he gave back the white rose lmao

-elizabeth: i’m sittin’ heeeeeeere cryin’ in my wedding dress

-so edward just got arrested

-i have conflicted feelings about this dress

-so henry’s free!

-making friends all around!

-adorable child is adorable

-uh oh!!!

-well that came out of nowhere

-henry: i’m here for peace! i’m unarmed!

edward: *snatches henry’s prayer book*

- poor henry does not deserve this

-okay so clarence just switched sides again

-that was actually pretty adorable

-did warwick just get straight up killed

-answer: no he didn’t

-correction: yes he did

-aww margaret and ned

-go maggie go

-well that went poorly

-TELL THEM OFF NED

-no but why does “i know my duty; you are all undutiful” go so hard

-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

-margaret’s SCREAMS oh my GOD

-“kill me too!” “marry, i shall” RICHARD OH MY GOD I’M DYING

-not richard spitting on margaret to revive her omg

-no but why is richard so funny in this scene this scene is SAD

-someone pls give margaret all the hugs

-“thou hast no children, butchers” 😭

-edward this is NOT FUCKING FUNNY

-they’re forcing her to live on…

-“i hope you die. i hope you ALL die.”

-anyway all hail june watson

-henry continues to be a nerdy cinnamon roll

-“ay, my good lord…my lord, i should say rather. ‘tis sin to flatter.” HAHAHAHA GET HIM

-oh he KNOWS

-he knows ned’s dead 😭

-henry’s going OFF but in his own quiet way

-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

-“for this, amongst the rest, was i ordained” is a baller line though

-and even at his death, he still believes in the best and prays for forgiveness, even for his murderer 😭

-truly a cinnamon roll

-okay but was that necessary richard

-wherever henry is going, it’s definitely not hell

-congrats on the baby!

-yeah i wouldn’t be so sure about that edward

-wait i thought this was from richard iii? (it is. more editorial changes)

-okay yeah that was really good. A Lot Happened, baby!

alright henry vi: house of york let’s get it

@shredsandpatches

[a-shakespearean-in-paris]

My honest opinions on some Shakespeare plays:

Hamlet: it’s good. I can see why it’s typically thought of as the Shakespeare play when we talk about Shakespeare. I wouldn’t say it’s overhyped and it is the play that made me realize how much I just enjoyed studying Shakespeare but when it comes to the bare bones plot and characters I’m like “yeah, you’re here” at this point. It’s Hamlet, it’s good. 

Romeo and Juliet: I love this play with all my heart. I fully embrace the romance and high emotions. (that’s the key. high emotions. Have you ever been a teenager? We tend to think in extremes as teens in our emotions, and neither Romeo or Juliet have someone to turn to. So, the play’s tragic end)

The Tempest: Good play. I love Miranda and what she represents. Interesting to talk about this play through post-colonial theory

Antony and Cleopatra: There is a lot of boring crap in this play. however when it is beautiful it is BEAUTIFUL. Every interaction between Antony and Cleopatra is dynamite and Cleopatra’s death is so well written. I love the quotes from this play so much I titled a fic after one of them!

Henry IV Part One: Fucking awesome, a coming of age story especially when paired with Henry V. Your enjoyment however may be dependent on how much you know about English history of this time. Again, some boring crap but when it’s good it’s good.

The Scottish play: Such a cool blend of supernatural with more human elements. We love Lady M? yes we love Lady M.

Titus Andronicus: I have no clue what Shakespeare was even thinking when he wrote this but I weirdly like it.

Midsummer Night’s Dream: Would you believe it if I said this was my least favorite? YEP.

King Lear: I read it once and I need to revisit it. 

Othello: This is a good play. Actually this was the first Shakespeare I read by myself that didn’t strike me as hard to read. There’s few subplots in it which I think may make it easier to grasp, so this is a play I recommend for early study. 

Henry V: *Chef’s Kiss* 

The Winter’s Tale: this is peak Shakespeare. There’s supernatural elements with a very human root to it, with tragedy and comedy and a wide variety of characters. 

Richard III: I am very meh on this place but I love watching the performances of Olivier and McKellen. 

Julius Caesar: It’s good. 

Much ado about Nothing: My favorite comedy. I live for the banter.  

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

I have seen many, MANY discussions/debates about ca:cw and I have never seen anyone mentioning that Rhodey's injury was a metaphor. How did you get that idea?

Short answer: I’ve actually read a lot on the subject.  I’m teaching a media studies class right now called “What Can Superheroes Tell Us About Psychology?” (because that’s the kind of shit you can get away with at giant universities) and hoo boy are superhero narratives More Ableist Than Average.  Anywhoo, a few of those readings:

I’m quoting hard from the chapter “Hyper-Normative Heroes, Othered Villains: Differential Treatment of Disability in Marvel” in a book on disability studies because it’s free.  A relevant passage:

“These metaphorical portrayals all fail to engage with disability as a social category and as an individual identity, thereby ignoring its context… Nick Fury’s missing eye does not change his aim with distance weapons (e.g. Captain Marvel) or piloting software. Instead, it recurs in the films largely in metaphorical lines such as Fury’s commenting on the death of a friend with ‘I just lost my one good eye’… One character in Avengers even questions the lack of accessibility in Fury’s multi-monitor computer console, and Fury’s assistant simply answers that he must turn his head more often to compensate. The franchise thereby emphasizes that Fury’s missing eye is only a metaphor for his discernment and ability to see details that others have missed, rather than a truly integrated part of his character or even an accurate portrayal of that disability.

“8. This treatment of disability as metaphor persists throughout the MCU. In Captain America: Civil War, superhero War Machine incurs a permanent spinal injury while fighting on behalf of his best friend Iron Man. Later on, rival superhero Hawkeye… ‘You gotta watch your back with this guy. There’s a chance he’s gonna break it.’ The film then equips War Machine with a fantastical prosthesis that essentially nullifies his disabled experience through giving him the same range of motion as his non-disabled [abled] teammates, entirely without side effects or need for maintenance. The MCU films thus present disability as a metaphor for inner morality and characterization. War Machine has few experiences of being a disabled man through his spinal injury, but is instead emotionally ‘disabled’ by the damage to his social standing he has incurred through his friendship with Iron Man… The MCU thereby offers no critique of ableism or inaccessibility, instead continuing to localize disability as a problem with the body and the individual.”

Death, Disability, and the Superhero: The Silver Age and Beyond by José Alaniz is also a fantastic resource, and you can buy it for money here or hopefully find it at a library if you have no money.  A few of the relevant points from his book:

Superhero stories often treat disability as a “problem” that must be “solved” through in essence nullifying the disabled experience of the character(s) through superpowers that run directly counter to the disabilities and/or fantasy “cures,” e.g.

Daredevil is blind BUT navigates the world in a way similar to sighted people due to his “radar sense,” meaning that he doesn’t get to have a lot of the lived experiences of blind individuals

Don Blake is mobility impaired and uses a cane BUT his cane transforms into mjolnir and imbues him with the power of Thor, meaning that he spends most of the story moving like a nondisabled person

Hawkeye is hard of hearing sometimes in some of the comics, BUT he often gets magical cochlear implants from Tony Stark that cause him to stop being hard of hearing

Characters that are disabled and remain disabled tend to be villains whose villainy is either implied or stated to come directly from their bitterness over being disabled, e.g.

Doctor Doom hates that he’s scarred by an explosion so much that he wants to take over the world to get revenge on the Fantastic Four

The Lizard only transforms himself because he ignores all scientific and ethical boundaries in his desperation to stop being disabled

Doctor Poison is described by herself and other characters as a “monster” for failing to (unlike Wonder Woman) conform to White Western conceptualizations of female beauty 

Characters like The Thing, She-Hulk, and Bizarro have the potential for some really interesting disability narratives.  However, the same publication pressures that prevent permanent injury or death to the characters also prevent the inclusion of “serious” “real-world” issues like discrimination unless it’s metaphorical (e.g. anti-mutant fearmongering as a metaphor for anti-AIDS prejudice).

The Big Damn Foundational Text on the intersection of disability studies and media studies is Narrative Prosthesis: Disability and the Dependencies of Discourse by David T. Mitchell and Sharon L. Snyder, and you can pay money for it here but it’s also available at a lot of libraries.  Anyway, a couple of relevant points from that book include: 

Disability portrayals abound in literature going back to pretty much the dawn of history, but most of those portrayals suck ass because:

Most disabilities are treated as metaphors rather than demographic characteristics, which means that the disabled character doesn’t get connected to other people with disabilities (including those in the real world) and offers no commentary on ableism — if Richard III’s spinal misalignment is just a metaphor for him being “twisted” inside, it doesn’t allow readers with spinal misalignment to identify with him

Disabled characters tend to exist to teach lessons to nondisabled characters rather than having their own journeys — Tiny Tim isn’t a person in A Christmas Carol, he’s an object lesson for Scrooge

Many disabled characters either get “fixed” so that they look outwardly “normal,” or their “ugliness” is used to make concrete the abstract “ugliness” of their personalities

Disability is treated as a “problem” that demands an explanation – Captain Ahab’s prosthetic leg and Joker’s facial scarring are treated as automatically demanding the question “why are you like this?,” even though no one would ever ask the same thing of their nondisabled co-characters

Authors’ implicit ableism tends to come out in their horror of disability, such as when they portray disabled characters preferring death to disability, going to extreme lengths to avoid or nullify disability, and/or declaring themselves “worthless” or “burdensome” in light of disability

Discomfort with disability — another form of implicit ableism – also comes out when disabled characters are overwhelmingly “killed or cured,” meaning that they don’t get to end their stories as living individuals who are still, in practice, disabled

ANYWAY, that’s a long-winded way of saying that I also haven’t seen any critics specifically talk about Rhodey’s disability as a metaphor first and a part of the character second, but that that doesn’t mean the shoe don’t fit.  When someone asks about the Accords in Infinity War, Rhodey also says he supported them but then “I’m pretty sure I paid for that,” and gestures at his own paralyzed legs.  He also also says in Endgame “I wasn’t always like this… but we work with what we’ve got” when talking to Nebula, BOTH about the fact that he’s disabled and about the fact that half the universe is dead and they’re all struggling to cope with that fact.  It keeps getting used as a metaphor and keeps NOT getting used as a part of his identity.  LET THE MAN TALK TO SOME OTHER DISABLED VETERANS FOR TWO SECONDS, FOR FUCK’S SAKE.

A couple of other (free!) readings that talk about that general problem of “we love superheroes and we hate ableism, now what?” even if they don’t mention Rhodey specifically: 

“Reevaluating the Supercrip” by Sami Schalk connects media portrayals of the paralympics to media portrayals of Captain America and the Doom Patrol.  (I swear to god it makes sense in context.)

“Seven Roads to Justice for Superheroes and Humans” by Mikhail Lyubansky gets into the glaring (for me, anyway) question of “why the fuck are sci fi psychologists all so evil and useless?” by explaining why Harley Quinn must be evil for Batman to be a vigilante.

“Superhero Comics as Moral Pornography” by David A. Pizarro and Roy Baumeister (again, I swear it makes sense if you read it) discusses the evolutionary tendency to judge people based on disabilities and why it’s so popular in superhero stories specifically.

Anyway, you probably weren’t looking for an entire annotated bibliography in response to that question, but I’ve never been one to use five words when 500 would suffice.

[judgement-free-sideblog]

Occupational Hazards

Barry Berkman x Reader

Three part series: It was just another job, he doesn't even had to kill anyone, but the way she looked at him was more dangerous than the bullets.

Part I Part II Part III

Angst with a happy ending

Warnings: Violence, cursing, blood, mention of abortion, stalkers.

Part III

"Someone got lucky" Natalie said when Barry entered his apartment, she was helping Nick with his lines for an audition and since the first pictures of his relationship with Y/N had emerged she always find an excuse to be near him and ask a million annoying questions "Although is kind of tacky to come to home with the same clothes from yesterday"

"No comment" That usually make her keep her distance but since he took forever to pour himself a coffee she followed him to the kitchen.

"So we were watching the nominations this morning, anything interesting to talk about it?" Somehow even when his job consisted in sell the lie he didn't felt comfortable talking about Y/N with his friends, and specially not that morning. He gave her a deadly glare and just walk inside his room.

Barry left the untouched coffee on his desk and collapsed on his bed, he wasn't tired, and the ideas revolving in his mind would keep him up for long enough.

They have watch several romantic comedies with wine and popcorn and then when they were discussing how impractical and unrealistic they were she apologized to him for the permanent damage that the article would cause in his attempts to get back to Sally, it wasn't strange since they have come to know about each other's past over the weeks, the strange part was that he was not actually concern about it. Sally had become a simple friend and he was sure even had to talk to him more often since Y/N came into his life, but he didn't had romantic feelings towards her anymore.

However the sudden realization that those feelings were gone because of the woman that was curled next to him, screaming at Cameron Diaz to run away from her idiot fiance; made him feel uneasy, he would have prefer to leave, but she was obviously anxious about the nominations the next morning so he agreed to take the couch, but she since she couldn't sleep they open another bottle of wine and start asking questions about each other.

He got to learn that the B&H menthol were her favorite cigarettes, but she was trying to quit and she actually only have one or two every couple weeks when she was to nervous, and he make himself a mental note to buy a package just in case. He told her about his favorite music, and a thing or two about her days in Afganistan, she told her how her mom was dying and her money was not to save her just to help her live her last days in least pain.

She asked about the most terrible thing he ever did and when he couldn't answer she went first.

"Do you want to know the real reason I broke up with Richard?" She said suddenly completely serious.

"You don't have to do that Y/N..."

"I want to, I feel like you have this weight on you and that you think of yourself as a monster, so do I. I may not be the trash human everyone think I am but that doesn't excuse what I have done. I have always hhave friends many friends men and women, and I even like some of them, that doesn't mean I sleep with them but for Richard every men I even talked to was someone I was fucking behind his back" She took one large drink of wine, it was clearly a painful memory "The thing I actually loved him, and I actually saw myself sharing my life with him, he was my agent back then and I could look over her rudeness most of the time... but then I got pregnant" She gave him a sad smile and he could see where the story was going so he remained silent even when he wanted to hold her. "He obviously didn't believe it could be his, and ask me to take care of it, or my life and my career and my mother treatment would be over so I did it. And don't get me wrong I know now that it was the right choice, believing I could have a family with that pig is ridiculous, but it wasn't my choice at the time and I don't know after that I just had to run away from him, I actually sleep with my costar, that's number 3 and use the scandal to break things with Richard, and now I'm here"

He hold her close to him and not thinking he started telling her about Korengal, about Moss and about Mayrbeck, she was comfortable to hold on to, she simply nodded and asked an occasional question about the time those things happened but she didn't judge him, and he eventually closed his own eyes and pretend for a moment that she was not paying him, that there was actually one human being who would love him not only despite his past, but also because of it. Someone who would feel safe enough with him, that she could sleep like that. He wanted to tell her that Sally was nice but she would never accept his truth, and she was like a getaway car, she had been the illusion to be Barry Block and leaving all behind, but her... Y/N came looking for Barry Berkman and she wasn't scared of him, but he also couldn't say it because he knew once things were over she would go back to his life and his little bubble will pop.

And that day was closer than ever, she was nominated as Outstanding supporting actress in a limited series or TV movie, and as she had said she had absolutely no chance to win because Maverick wouldn't let her, but the amount of opportunities that would come after if she get nominated would be enough to find a new agent, and walk away from that life, so she had been waiting to hear her name for months and now that it was finally there the look on her face was enough to turn down all of his precautions and he simply kiss her.

He take her by the neck in the middle of her excitement and simply put his lips onto hers and kiss her like she was the only thing he needed to survive, and he was only recovering his common sense when Y/N hold him tighter and kissed him back with the same intensity, he was happy beyond comprehension but reality find its way to his mind and eventually he let go. Y/N opened her mouth to say something but her phone start ringing with congratulations from her friends and that allowed them to have a minute to settle down.

"Don't worry about the suit, they are probably going to offer you one" She said to him finally after answering the phone the third time.

"Yeah sure, I am so happy for you. Congratulations" He was being honest, but he needed to acknowledge the kiss somehow "I'm so sorry I shouldn't..." for some reason apologizing for something he was not sorry for is what he did.

"Please don't apologize, it was nice, is being a long time since someone kissed me like that, say it was the heat of the moment, or that you simply felt like it, but don't be sorry about it because I'm not" The look she gave him, that's when he knew he was doomed, she wanted him, for how long? who could tell, but he was much of a coward to find out, so he make up an excuse and didn't even touch her when he said goodbye, and just walked away.

Fortunately the next weeks past in a blur, a couple days later their Variety interview was the subject of an angry call from Sally for not telling her, and endless banter and teasing from his classmates wich lead to shaming him into bet on her in Jermaine Emmy's pool.

He had tell the story of how they met more times than he could remember, and there was little to no time to be alone with her, other than the choreographed PDA they had agreed beforehand, and she even had to leave for two weeks to New York for another set of endless interviews, on wich she made sure to get his name out at least once, he watched them and pretend that he was the actual loving boyfriend waiting for her return even when his mind kept reminding him he was not.

He had told her everything and she didn't judge him, and his heart was holding the hope that maybe, just maybe in the end she could be a friend since he felt undeserving of something else, and by the time he was at her place waiting for her to go to the ceremony he had already promised himself he would be there for her no matter what.

The award ceremony was magic in itself, walking next to her on the red carpet and watching her like the star she was in the elegant black gown she had chosen was more than enough for him, but there were also a lot of famous people who surprisingly treated him as if he belonged, and in the middle of that crowd he could finally found a moment of intimacy with her on the way she nervously hold his hand whenever Richard looked their way and when he got upstaged to introduce the Award Y/N was nominated in, he was attractive and charismatic but the smug on the bastard face when he read her name on the nominations and then when he finally said the winner (Zoe Saldana or someone like that) were enough to make his blood boil and mentally mark a bullet with his name on it.

***

"I just lose 300 grand" He whispered in your ear and you could smell a hint of perfume, it was perfect.

"Well next time bet against me, and listen to me when I talk" you fixed his bow tie as an excuse to touch him, he looked unrealistically hot, the tux the hair, even the incipient beard that had started to grow look fantastic on him. "I hate after parties, but Adrian says we should make an appearance and then we can get out of there"

He nodded and you could feel him trembling under your hands, he had been weird since the kiss and you can understand why, but you wanted to reassure him that you didn't give a fuck about his past, that Block or Berkman or whatever you only cared for Barry, that there was something in him that make you feel happy, that he calling out your bullshit was something you needed and that that kiss was the single most happy moment you ever had.

They drove you to the after party and you allowed the crowd to separate you from him while you mapped out in your mind how to talk to him on the way home, and then you felt it, the stench of bourbon and cigars, and a big hand pulling from her arm with strength, you paralyzed for a moment and the promise you had made yourself to kick his nuts the way Barry teach you fly away when he got in the middle of your conversation with a Mexican Director famous for not giving a crap about Hollywood who had a project on Netflix.

"Oh please don't let this man drag you tho those movies actual cinema is here in Hollywood, not paying monthly to watch on your leaving room" He smiled like a hyena and you desperately try to avoid him, but pull you closer and Alfonso simply gave you his card discreetly and walked away. "Quite the spectacle you have put on with the little soldier" he said letting go of your arm, but still blocking your way with his body. "Too bad is about to be over."

"Oh I was not aware you have a saying in when or for how long I am with someone" you spat at him desperately looking for someone to come closer so you could make an escape, but your heart broke when you saw Barry talking happily with whom you assume was his Sally Reed, and you felt alone and defeated and he must have seen that in your eyes because his poisonous tongue kept talking.

"He is good looking I give you that" he said looking in his direction and then back at you holding your chin and you fight with all your strength to not cry right there "But he is just a looser from Ohio, who was caught in the middle of all this glamour" he made a round movement with his hand and then pointed at you "And you are a drinking, smoking whore, you are not going to be the respectable wife of a soldier and retire to live in the suburban house with the white fence. Wake up from your dream Y/N, you need to be with a men who knows how to treat you and how to please you" His hand was on your waist and you felt disgusted by his touch and you cursed yourself for not screaming then and there to fuck off "Tell me little one, does your soldier know how to make you scream? Or does he bore you to death in bed" He was drunk it was obvious and you could feel his breath approaching you and could anticipate his movement, he was going to kiss you.

"Well I haven't recieved complaints" Barry's voice take you out of your trance state and you move away from Richard, he had put his hand on his shoulder and was pressing him steadily in his place, he was way taller and Richard almost look funny next to him "But we hardly ever make it to the bed do we babe?" He possessively take you by the waist and pull you away from him straight to his lips and kissed you voraciously, something that people around you actually notice because you could hear a couple of whistles.

"Are you okay?" He whispered quiet enough so only you could hear and you nodded yes "Such a pleasure to meet you finally, Barry Berkman" He offered his hand and Richard took it trying to put out his charm again.

"The famous Barry, so you are the man taking away our beautiful Y/N to make her a decent woman" He teased you again. You were no longer shaking and Barry's presence gave you courage.

"I think is the other way around" You search inside his jacket for a pack of cigarettes you saw him put there earlier an took one to your mouth "I'm trying to make this beautiful man and indecent creature" Barry quickly offered you fire and then he looked to Richard who was obviously angry at him.

"And you are succeeding honey, anyway I'm going to have to take her away for good, bye Richard" He didn't give him a chance to respond and you were already walking towards Sally, she was there as the plus one of her costar in Richard's movie and she was a lovely person, who only wanted to reassure you she and Barry were done, offered you her friendship and asking for acting advice.

"You want to get out of here?" You said once you have talked to almost everyone but this time Barry make sure to not leave your side in case Maverick come close again.

You walked outside and the car was waiting for you, and different from other times he didn't let your hand go once you were inside, instead he put his arm around you and hold you closer to him.

"I'm so sorry, I paralyzed, I was freaking out and I didn't pushing away, I feel so ashamed" you started speaking against his chest with tears finally coming from your eyes.

"Hey there, it's okay" He patted your back and kissed the top of your head, his voice was calming like a balm taking away the pain "That guy is a jerk, at least he is getting the point now, you were right. What kind of asswhole needs to see a woman with another man in order to understand she doesn't want him?"

"We hardly make it to the bed?" You said smiling "I liked that one, the look on his face"

"I couldn't think anything else, was it too much?" He clearly was nervous about kissing you but this time you were not letting him go so easily.

"Maybe, would you consider this too much?" You pull his face down to kiss him but he didn't move, he kissed you back, not as theatrical as before and his lips felt soft on yours and you could feel his hand on your neck holding you close to him and the other caressing your hair, it felt like pure electricity and little by little he started pushing his tongue inside of yours, and you were surprised by the dominant way he kissed you and the tender way he was holding you.

You were interrupted once the driver announced you were home and once you were inside you could see him burying his hands in his pockets like he didn't know what to do with them.

"We shouldn't" He said finally but his eyes meant something else "I mean I'm still working for you"

"And you say you were no prostitute" you smile at him, using him as support so you could take off your heels and tossed them somewhere in the living room "Are you coming or not?" You take his hand and point to the staircase with your head.

"Yes ma'am" he answered with a grin a followed you upstairs leaving tender kisses in your bare shoulders.

***

Barry wake up with her naked body still wrapped around him, her dress that had been almost impossible to take off was in the floor in some corner and he went to put on his boxers so he could get downstairs, it was 7:00 am and he wanted to make her breakfast, even if he couldn't figure out his way in the kitchen, but he chose to take a leak first.

He was walking out of the bathroom, with the memories of the previous night burning in the back of his head and then he listened it, the familiar sound of a gun going off and he panicked, because it wasn't in his hands, and then a stinging pain in his shoulder, an actual relief because whoever was shooting didn't knew what their were doing, he collapsed on his back next to de bed and hit his head making all blurry but he was listening.

The noise wake Y/N and Barry could hear her scream when she saw him bleeding, and his mind was only thinking in fighting back, then the lights turned on and he could see her, the figure shaking at the door holding the gun.

"Why? Why did you had to choose him?" Adrian's voice had a high pitch on it "I was the one supposed to comfort you, and to hold your hand last night Y/N!!!" She shot at her but thankfully she was terrible and she missed, barry didn't move waiting for a moment to reach for one of the guns he had hide in her room months ago, begging to not bleed out before he could.

"Leave that alone for once" Maverick voice said from the door "And you get dress" He tossed a night gown to Y/N that was covering herself with a bedsheet, he hit Adrian on the face making her fall to the ground and took the gun away from her hands.

"What the fuck Richard?" Y/N scream at him, and she put on the gown "What the fuck are you doing in my house" She attempt to run towards Barry but he stopped her.

"Oh I wouldn't do that sugar" He sounded drunk or something else, but he had enough coordination to hold the gun better than Adrian that now was a crying mess in a corner. "Sit here and don't move" He forced her to sit on the bed and went to were Barry was trying o stand with a hand holding on the bed. "Come on soldier sit with your whore"

"Adrian why did you do this?" Y/N was talking to the young girl, but she couldn't even look at them she was curled in the floor sobbing and holding herself. "I cared for you, you were like my sister, I loved you"

"Oh, did you hear that?" Richard laughed and went to pick Adrian by the hair and forced her to look at Y/N "A sister, but that's not what you wanted right? You'll see Y/N this lady here found something interesting about your prince charming here, and out of her so called love for you she came to me to help her solve your problem, tell me sweetheart have this man told you why did he came home from the war? He is a fucking murderer." His words sound poisonous and Y/N look shocked, but Barry new it was more about how he got that information than the actual fact that Barry had killed someone.

"What do you want Richard?" She said and her voice was soft, she even move apart from Barry in what he hoped was pretend disgust "What are you talking about?"

"This guy you chose killed an innocent man and walked away with it, and your lovely friend here was so worry about you that last night she was too drunk to shut up, so this morning she convinced me to came here and help her get you to safety, but oh no, we are too late" he started pacing around the room making an fake distressed face, and he ignored Barry for a moment "When I got here he had already snapped, he killed your friend..." He pointed the gun to Adrian's head an ignored Y/N pleas and simply killed her "And then I have trouble imagining what could have happened" He had a sadistic grin and took Y/N by the hair and force her to kiss him. "What do you think? He killed himself when he saw what he did?" He pointed his gun at Barry's head who was looking down with his hands behind his back "Or the coward shot you before he killed himself?" He caressed her face with the smoking gun and enjoyed the terror in her face "What is it going to be dear?" He said trying to force another kiss on her.

"Maybe think better asswhole" Barry said and out of nowhere he took the gun frrom his hand an shot him in the head under the scared face of Y/N and even when he was relieved he had saved her he could assume he had lost her forever.

***

The official version was that Richard was high on many different substances, he broke into your house and tried to kill you but Barry took that bullet and then when Adrian tried to calm him down he killed her and out of fear and his agitated mental state he end up blowing up his brains.

There was no reason to disbelief you, he had make a scene at the party the previous night when you left and the gun was registered, and in his house they found footage of your apartment entrance and some pictures taken from the front building as Barry had suspected.

After some harsh couple of months and a very well elaborated lie things were settled down and you even were about to start working on a new independent film.

Everything was perfect but you still missed him, you haven't been able to manage the initial shock and he interpreted as you being too disgusted by his lifestyle and he choose to go back to his anonymous life, to his acting class and being Barry Block, even when press won't leave him alone for days.

A year passed in a blur and you felt hurt that he didn't called you, and you were too proud to look for him, and suddenly one day, Sally walked in for a table read for the movie, and after it was over, and after impressing everyone there including you she timidly approach.

"Hi, I don't want to be awful, but do you remember meeting me?" She said and it take you by surprise the humility she showed.

"Sure you were Barry's friend right?" You said hiding the pain his name produced in your heart.

"Oh my god you remember that's so sweet of you, I just wanted to say how glad I am to work with you, you are such an inspiration" She seemed sincere but you wanted to run away from everything that could remained you of him "And I'm sorry it didn't work out for you guys, I mean he is still obviously in love with you, but he is such a non violent guy that I get why he walked away, but you are a fighter and I just wanted to say I respect you so much"

You smiled and change the subject, and praise her acting buying you enough time to process her words and a glimpse of hope start shining, maybe it was not all lost.

***

"I'm lady Macbeth, again" Natalie's voice was proud of herself, this was the third time they were doing the Shakespearean night but this time he hadn't get Macbeth like the previous year but Benedick in a scene from Much ado about nothing, a comedy since Gene thought he needed to experiment more with that genre, and he had cast Saha as Beatrice, but she didn't have the slightest interest since he had actually given her a second role as Helena in Midsummer.

By the time he was ready to come out in scene and declare his love for Beatrice the woman looking against him was clearly not Sasha but he could have known her figure in any place and so he went and started talking not sure of what to expect.

BENEDICK: I do love nothing in the world so well as you; is not that strange?

BEATRICE: As strange as the thing I know not. It were as possible for me to say I loved nothing so well as you: but believe me not; and yet I lie not;

I confess nothing, nor I deny nothing. I am sorry for my cousin.

BENEDICK: By my sword, Beatrice, thou lovest me.

BEATRICE: Do not swear, and eat it.

BENEDICK: I will swear by it that you love me; and I will make him eat it that says I love not you.

BEATRICE: Will you not eat your word?

BENEDICK: With no sauce that can be devised to it. I protest I love thee.

BEATRICE: Why, then, God forgive me!

BENEDICK: What offence, sweet Beatrice?

BEATRICE: You have stayed me in a happy hour: I was about to protest I loved you.

BENEDICK: And do it with all thy heart.

BEATRICE: I love you with so much of my heart that none is left to protest.

BENEDICK: Come, bid me do any thing for thee.

BEATRICE: Kill Claudio.

The last line resonated in his mind for a moment, but she turned to the audience to make a bow and so did he happy to receive the applause, and she went to take his hand on hers and take one more bow before leaving the stage to Natalie.

"What are you doing here?" He asked her once they were apart from everyone.

"Playing Beatrice, Gene is an old friend of mine, I'm surprised he didn't told you, he loves to name drop, I asked him if I could read for this, I do miss theater you know?" She said finding a chair to sit on, the costume looked beautiful on her.

"That's not what I meant" He started keeping his distance.

"You never called, I went to pick you from the hospital and you leave before I got there, you avoid my calls..." Y/N was holding her hands together nervously. "

"I didn't think I should be around you, and Richard was no longer a threat" he said giving in and sitting next to her. "I do my job and walk away, that's how it works".

"Don't call it a work you didn't get paid" She said hurt by his words and he regretted immediately "We both know it wasn't that anymore that night... Barry I would not give you the crappy speech of how much I love you, but I do, I love you, with all the shitty parts that come along with you, if anything I love you more about those, am sorry I freaked out at the moment but I was sure he was going to kill you, I wasn't scared for me nor of you, for you plenty"

He remained silent for a moment and then he finally stood up, and for a moment she thought he would walk away, but he didn't.

"Do you want to get coffee?" He asked simply.

"Will you hold the mug like a normal person?" She joked.

"I'll ask for a paper cup with no handle if it's better" he said extending his hand to her. "And for what is worth, I love you too"

She took his hand and walked with him into the night, but he couldn't feel the darkness anymore, and the future looked bright for once.

The end

I liked this a lot, I hope you enjoy it

[beardofkamenev]

@nuingiliath​

Seriously?! Jesus Christ. At least if O’Brien had paired it with Catherine’s neglect-filled, trauma-filled childhood (which probably wasn’t that bad in reality), it would’ve made sense in a “well, they barely remembered to feed her, why would they educate her?” way. But nope, for some reason, they just didn’t care that Catherine de Valois, likely future queen of England, didn’t know how to read because she was a girl. LOLWUT. Eleanor Cobham very likely could read (possibly not in French or Latin, but still) and she was well below Catherine’s status.

Honestly, it’s all so stupid. Catherine gets told as a child that Englishmen have tails because they’re evil (by a nun in the convent she’s raised in, no less) and then she’s so stupidly innocent on her wedding night she just straight out asks Henry V if he has a tail. I’ll never know why he doesn’t immediately the marriage annulled because she’s clearly an idiot and not suited to be queen at all? Most Catherine novels seem to be leaning heavily towards the romance novel so I think that’s something to do with it too? They go hard on how tragic Catherine is - she’s got a tragic childhood, she’s got her evil mother pimping her out and then she marries Henry V (who may or may not be a decent husband), then he dies and Catherine is immediately forcibly separated from her son (I think she was with him until he was about 8? So normal medieval procedure, then) and no one lets her get involved in politics or shag Edmund Beaufort… so Owen turns up not so much to be a character but her reward for suffering so much. So he ends up being anything you’d want in a romantic hero except interesting.

Maybe Edward IV was the original Weird Pasty English Guy That Women Go Nuts Over? (Now it’s Richard III). I watched a clip they did of the history behind The King (I’m still yet to watch the movie itself) and they talked about the arrow-wound and it’s not even in the film? WHAT. Honestly, I’m forever disappointed that we never get any actual arrow-wound in any Shakespeare adaptations. And how the fuck can you do Agincourt without any arrows?! What is the fucking point.

I finally decided to transfer our convo to new post to avoid eye torture lol.

It’s only part of her “trauma-filled childhood” insofar as her mother neglects to educate her because she is neglectful in general. I actually scrolled through The Forbidden Queen ebook again to see if I remembered it correctly and while Catherine isn’t 100% illiterate, she “struggles” to read and write. Then there’s this passage:

“Does she read? Write?” “Not that I am aware.” “She must be taught.” “Is it necessary? Such skills are irrelevant for her future role, and I doubt she has the mental capacity to learn. Look at her.” The Queen was cruel in her contempt as I snivelled in terror, wiping my face on my sleeve. “She will be wed for her blood, not for her ability to wield a pen.”

BAHAHAHA. A lot of these novels go so overboard on the pathos too. I’ve lost track of how many novels have Catherine starving and wandering around in rags, being ignored by Henry V, having Henry VI ripped out of her arms by his evil guardians etc. Like, is it really so hard to feel sorry for someone who had an insane father, was widowed at 21 and legally prevented from remarrying? And Owen Tudor is literally just a plot device half the time and any semblance of personality he’s given is pretty repulsive (Jarman pls).

The King is alright as a movie but it is an absolute HISTORICAL CLUSTERFUCK. It might as well have been a straight-up fantasy movie about High King Frodo, Fifth of his Name because that’s how little it resembles history or Henry V or the Shakespeare plays, for that matter. I don’t know if I should recommend it to you because you might lose your shit (I know I did). SPOILERS obviously but don’t say I didn’t try to warn you.

Henry gets disinherited in favour of Tommen Thomas of Clarence, and only ends up succeeding because Thomas is later killed by “Welsh rebels” (barely anyone in England seems to care about this, btw). Far from being a warmonger, this Henry loves peace. He averts the bloodshed of the historical Battle of Shrewsbury by challenging Hotspur to an unintentionally-hilarious silent wrestling match, which also conveniently ends all rebellion in England. He somehow pacifies the Welsh rebels by paying Mortimer’s ransom because their historical war for independence was apparently just a glorified hostage situation. He is reluctant to go to war against France because it’s little more than his bad nasty father’s pet project (because it’s not like the English kings had claims to France dating back to Edward III or anything like that), and only ends up going because the evil Dauphin is evil. He mercifully allows the women and children of probably-Rouen to evacuate, unlike the real Henry V, who let them starve to death in ditches. But the real cherry on top is the film’s depiction of the Battle of Agincourt, which is little more than a giant mud wrestling match with the occasional arrow-confetti here and there (I counted TWO VOLLEYS the entire battle). Weapons are merely decorative; instead Henry decides that his bare fists are the most effective weapons against a fully-armoured enemy. AND THEN EVERYONE JUST STOPS FIGHTING because the evil Dauphin turns up to challenge Henry to single combat, but he doesn’t even get to fight because he keeps slipping in the mud before five random English archers descend upon him and wrestle him to death (none of the French care enough to retaliate, btw). This ends the battle and Henry becomes the undisputed master of France. The film ends with Henry stabbing a dude in the head (whose name I literally fucking forgot because I was so distracted by the flagrant and egregious historical inaccuracies) and asking Catherine to be truthful with him.

I should also mention that almost all these events take place in near total silence, including the battles/wrestling matches. The costuming and armour is just WHACK (here’s a video of someone ranting about it lol). Also, Humphrey of Gloucester and John of Bedford do not exist.

[sarah-snook]

Reddie coffee shop au please!!!

Behold! I give you 3+1 coffee shop au with blonde!eddie

hope you enjoy @eddiefuckinkaspbrak :)

Read on AO3

===

i.

The first time Richie lays eyes on Eddie, he’s walking into the campus coffee shop to visit Beverly. He’s never been much of a coffee drinker, but it’s her first day on the job and Richie Tozier is a very supportive friend. (And if his real intention in visiting was purely to get a free cookie out of her, she probably already knew that.) Richie notices him as soon as he walks in, standing by the counter waiting for his drink order. He had blonde curls and waves that seemed to frame his face beautifully and the cutest face to match. Freckles dusted his nose and cheeks and his pink lips looked just downright kissable. He wasn’t sure how long he stood there staring at this strangers face before his eyes locked with his light brown eyes and suddenly he felt like a creep. He began to panic, looking away just as quickly as the eye contact was made, and instead made his way over to where Beverly was standing behind the register.

“Hey pretty lady,” he winks at her as he leans in to the counter. “Fancy seeing you here.” He regrets it as soon as he says it, thinking that the guy would probably think they were together. He’s tempted to look over at him, to see if he’s paying attention to their conversation, but he knows that’ll just make him seem like even more of a creep.

“Hey Rich,” she’s smiling at him knowingly, a look that promised he was going to get an earful later. “What are you doing here?” 

“I missed your face, obviously,” he says almost distractedly. He’s still partially focused on the presence of the guy by the counter next to them, itching to go talk to him. Instead, he attempts to keep up a conversation with Beverly. “How’s your first day of work my love?”

“It’s fine so far but,” she begins as she leans in closer to him to whisper in his ear. “What I’m more interested in talking about right now is you going all googly-eye over that cutie over there.” She smirks as he shushes her, eyes going wide. He’s this close to looking over to check and see if the stranger was listening in, when he hears Beverly’s coworker shout out “Iced coffee for Eddie!” and just like that, his perfect angel’s gone.

“Fuuuuck I should have gone to talk to him,” he whines loudly now that the stranger, named Eddie apparently, is gone. “Bev did you see?? He looked like a fucking angel.”

She rolls her eyes at him, about to speak, when her coworker steps up next to her and interrupts. “If you’re talking about Eddie, he’s here all the time and he’s usually alone. He usually likes to keep to himself in the corner booth.”

“Thanks uh…Ben.” he says as he squints over at the guy’s name tag. “That’s some good intel, I appreciate it.” He smiles gratefully at him, excited at the prospect of getting to see Eddie again. 

“Alright, you gotta go,” Beverly says as she shoves a cookie at him, successfully cutting through his thoughts of Eddie the angel. She gestures towards the door, where a group of girls are beginning to walk in. “Don’t think we’re done talking about your little change in attitude trashmouth! It’s so unlike you to not go up and shamelessly flirt with someone you find attractive.”

“Yeah, but this is different,” he sighs, a dreamy look on his face as he takes a bite out of the cookie.

ii.

The second time he sees Eddie, he’s behind him in line at the coffee shop. He thinks he’s more prepared this time because now that he’s had time to think about what he wants to say to Eddie, all he has to do is just go up to him and turn on that Richie Tozier Charm™ and the rest will be history right? Eddie will fall in love with him and then he’ll have a cute boyfriend who he’ll take out on dates and hold hands and cuddle with and—

Hold on, since when do I think about soft shit like this? 

Usually when he’s trying to charm someone it’s so they’ll go back to his dorm with him, not so they’ll hold his fucking hand. He thinks he’s probably visibly shaken because he gets a quick questioning look from Beverly as Eddie moves up to take his turn ordering. He can’t see his face from his place in line behind him so he can’t be sure, but Eddie must notice the look she gave him because he’s tilting his head slightly like a confused puppy. Even without seeing the expression on his face, he can already tell it’s the cutest fucking thing ever. 

Stop that, you’re here to charm him not to fawn over how cute he is. 

Eddie begins to order and Richie’s stomach does a little flip at the sound of his voice. The quiet, dulcet voice begins to trail off as Beverly eyes him once again. Richie can tell he’s about to turn around and he panics, brain shutting down completely. 

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.

Before he even realizes what he’s doing, he’s running out the door and all the way back to his dorm room.

iii.

The third time he sees Eddie, he’s had time to come to terms with the fact that Eddie makes him nervous. Like really fucking nervous. Like red cheeks and sweaty palms nervous. The day he ran all the way back to his dorm, he laid down on his bed and just stared at the ceiling, thinking about how stupid he was acting. 

Now here he was, walking into the coffee shop again, hoping that this time he would actually get to at least say hi to Eddie and be graced with what he’s sure is an adorable smile. His heart drops the moment he catches sight of him sitting across from a guy with short red hair. 

He’s smiling at him, eyes bright and smile even more adorable than Richie could have ever imagined. As he watches him laugh at whatever joke the guy could possibly be telling him, his heart feels like it’s shattering into a million pieces. 

I bet I’m a million times funnier than that guy. I could make you smile too.

He stands there, in the middle of the coffee shop and thinks about how foolish he was to think that someone as adorable as Eddie would be single. When Eddie suddenly looks over at him, Richie’s still looking at him and they make eye contact. He gives him a quick, sweet smile before turning his attention back to his boyfriend and Richie’s heart, if at all possible, breaks even more. 

He turns towards Beverly, stationed at her usual place behind the register, and takes a step towards her. He pauses, seeing the sympathetic look on her face, and he suddenly would rather be anywhere else than here in this coffee shop. He takes a step back and then another and then he’s out the door, head hung in defeat. 

+1

The fourth time he sees Eddie, Richie’s rushing into the coffee shop not because he wants to, but because Beverly texted him asking for a huge favor. He had avoided going there for the past week, attempting to heal his broken heart. 

Oh, shut up. Broken heart my ass it’s not that serious. You never even talked to him! And you’ve only seen him three times! 

He rolled his eyes at how idiotic he was acting as he stepped into the coffee shop. He glanced over to the corner, hating that even now he was still searching for the blonde-haired angel. There he was, sitting alone and sipping on some iced coffee. He looked away and over to the register before Eddie could look up and make eye contact with him again. That would only make him feel even worse. 

He lifted the plastic bag, shaking it as he walked over to his friend. She gave him a chorus of thank you’s as she took the bag and walked into the back room of the shop. Taking her place, Ben nodded his head at him and smiled before saying, “So, have you talked to him yet?” 

Richie gave him a look before answering. “No dude, he’s taken. I saw him in here with his boyfriend last week!”

Ben looked at him puzzled, eyebrows furrowed. He looked over at Eddie and then to Richie a couple of times before finally settling on Richie. He has a look of realization as he asks, “Omg so that’s why you—are you talking about Bill?”

“Uhh I guess?” He shrugs at him. “All I know about him is that he has red hair and he makes Eddie’s face light up with the cutest smile.” He sighs, looking down at his shoes and shoulders sagging at the memory of seeing them together.

Ben begins to laugh and his head shoots up to glare at him, only to find him staring at Richie with a huge smile on his face. “Eddie’s single as fuck dude! That guy you saw him with is our friend Bill.” 

Richie’s eyes widen at this revelation. He’s staring at Ben, unable to form words before he’s stuttering out, “W-wait h-hold on you—no. Wait. What?? You’re friends with him?” He’s in panic mode again at the realization that maybe Eddie knew this whole time about his lowkey (highkey, come on Richard don’t kid yourself) crush on him. 

“Yeah, that’s why I know he’s always in here in that corner booth.” He’s still laughing, probably already catching Eddie’s attention. “What, did you think I just remember random people who come in here often and where they prefer to sit?”

“Uhhh yeah! People usually remember regulars.” 

“Are you going to keep standing here arguing about irrelevant shit or are you going to go talk to him?” He questions as he rolls his eyes. “You’ve made him wait long enough.”

“I—” he begins as he looks back at Eddie, surprised to find him staring at him, elbows resting on the table, head in his hands, looking adorable as fuck. “Yeah, I’m gonna go do that now.”

He walks over to him nervously, sitting across from him silently. He’s not sure what to say now that’s he’s here, now that he actually has the chance to speak to him. He’s never been this quiet in his life and as Eddie raises his eyebrow, smirk spreading across his beautiful face, his heart begins to race.

“What took you so long?” He asks, head tilting slightly to the side in his hands as he waits for his response.

Richie’s palms begin to sweat and he begins to laugh nervously. Before he knows it, he begins to ramble. “Sorry you’re just so adorable and it made me nervous and when I tried to talk to you I just panicked and ran and then I saw you and you were with some guy and I just thought of fucking course a literal angel like him would be taken and—listen. I’m not usually this awkward ok? I’m fucking smooth and charming but you just…” He trails off when he hears Eddie laugh, drinking in the way his eyes light up and his cheeks turn slightly pink. 

“Wow, I’ve never been called a literal angel before.” He’s no longer laughing, but his smile is wide and his eyes were still bright.

“Baby, that should be considered a damn crime,” he sighs, shaking his head in disbelief. “You deserve to be worshipped.”

Eddie giggles, fucking giggles, and Richie feels like his soul has left his body and ascended into heaven because nothing has ever sounded more heavenly than this.

This is it. This the moment that I realize I’ve died and gone to heaven. I can die happy now.

Except he can’t. He can’t because he’s sitting in front of the guy he’s been crushing on for weeks, a guy who hasn’t told him to fuck off yet, and he’s yet to ask him out. He takes a quick breath, running his hand nervously through his hair as he says, “So uh, any chance you wanna maybe…go out sometime?”

Eddie smiles sweetly at him, humming in what Richie thinks is agreement but isn’t sure. “I’ve been waiting for you to ask me since I overheard your friend ask you why you were making googly eyes at me.”

“Fuuuuck!” he groans out, blush beginning to form at Eddie’s words.

“Hmm maybe, depends on how well the date goes,” he says casually, smirk still intact as he eyes him with a look that’s doing things for Richie. 

In that moment, he realizes that Eddie’s not an angel, but a devil in disguise and it makes his heart beat faster because angel Eddie is adorable, but devil Eddie is radiating confidence and it’s hot as fuck. He’s honestly speechless, staring in awe at Eddie before quickly snapping out of it. 

He’s less nervous now, and it seems as if he’s somehow absorbed Eddie’s confidence because he suddenly finds himself wiggling his eyebrows at the beautiful blonde, playful smile on his lips as he asks, “Are you free tonight?”

[chaotic-archaeologist]

Were there any like signs that maybe you should be in a different major that you noticed in hindsight? Because I've only been in uni for a bit but I think I fucked up choosing my major and I'm not sure what to do, and well idk if I'm right about being in the wrong major.

Hi there,

In hindsight, there were a lot of signs. The biggest one was that I hated working with people and was dreading my thesis project where I would have to design and conduct a study on real human beings. 

I don’t know if I can even explain the amount of dread that I felt, but I can explain when I knew I found the right thing:

I had a professor who was absolutely shitting on Richard III. How he was evil, how he had a hunchback, how he killed the princes in the tower... she went on and on. I had just started reading the Sunne in Splendour by Sharon Kay Penman, and that was enough to make me doubt everything that this professor was saying in class.

I spent hours researching and reading other books and journals. I ended up submitting an unsolicited ten page fully formatted academic paper on why she was wrong (this professor and I had no love lost for each other).

But that’s when it clicked for me. I had done all of this research that would have been tedious in a psych context, but this time I had enjoyed it.

You say Uni, which makes me think you’re not from America. I don’t know what it’s like in other countries, but in the States at least it’s pretty easy to change your major. Some people change theirs more than once.

So as you go forward, here are some questions that I would encourage you to ask yourself:

What started me along the path to this major?

Is there anybody (parents, friends, etc) pressuring me to take this track?

Am I doing this because I’m good at it, or because I enjoy it?

What are the careers that this major leads to? Have I looked into the non standard options or am I just thinking about the generic jobs?

What are the things that I am very passionate about?

Is there another major that relates to the things that I am passionate about?

If so, have I talked to someone in one of those departments to see what it’s like?

How will staying in my current major affect my life?

How will changing my major affect my life?

What is it that I don’t like about my current major?

I hope this helps, and I hope that a path becomes clear to you soon.

-Reid

[gltrngold-a]

—  ♥　♡　♥　THE AFFLUENT   ♥　♡　♥  —

“A house with a death in it can never again be bought or sold by the living. It can only be borrowed by the ghosts who have stayed behind.”

                             — i am the pretty thing that lives in the house (2016, dir. oz perkins)

｢ keira knightley. thirty. female. she/her. ｣ welcome to cerulean pier, home of many mythological beings. did you know that our resident CAPRICE DE LUCA is the child of PERSEPHONE? they don’t, maybe that’s why they’re known as the AFFLUENT around town. they are GENTLE & SOLICITOUS, but also SENSITIVE & PLIANT. they are also currently A WRITER. don’t say anything, but they are hiding THAT SHE WAS NEVER SUPPOSED TO INHERIT HER GRAND FAMILY FORTUNE. ｢ shannon, 20, she/her, bst. ｣

—  ♥　♡　♥　basics  ♥　♡　♥  —

name: caprice alessia de luca age: thirty birthdate: 26th september, 1989 — milan, lombardy, italy zodiac ( sun ) sign: libra orientations: bisexual, biromantic relationship status: single label: the affluent occupation: writer

faceclaim: keira knightley height: 5 ft 8 in

—  ♥　♡　♥　personality  ♥　♡　♥  — 

mbti: infp-t enneagram: two, with a one wing hogwarts house: ravenclaw temperament: melancholic theme song: rabbit heart (raise it up) by florence + the machine

hobbies: tending to the gardens at the front of her house; volunteering at the local library; cooking / baking; language-learning; playing the harp

—  ♥　♡　♥　favourites  ♥　♡　♥  —

songs:

i’d do anything for love (but i won’t do that) by meat loaf come as you are by nirvana a rush of blood to the head by coldplay

television series:

the good place (2016-2020) medici: masters of florence (2016-2019) pride and prejudice (1995)

books:

rebecca (daphne du maurier, 1938) frankenstein (mary shelley, 1818) howards end (e.m. forster, 1910)

films: 

i am the pretty thing that lives in the house (2016) rebecca (1940) a streetcar named desire (1951)

—  ♥　♡　♥　summary   ♥　♡　♥  —

so here’s the hoe-down throwdown about my baby capri:

eclectic. if it can keep her interest she’ll love it.

many bookshelves and annotated copies of books and the first editions that she’s never written in so she has more than one copy of every book and polished desks and half-full notebooks and cups of tea she forgot about and flowers from her garden that just seem to live a little longer than they might otherwise though she can never work out why.

accidentally ethereal and vague sometimes but if you need specifics please ask her she’s trying. 

always trying to learn something new! educate urselves! but sometimes she just doesn’t have the patience and that’s okay too ( she gave up on learning woodworking, for one. the splinters weren’t good for her hands. )

so passionate when you get to know her okay. 

degrees in pride of place above the fire. silk pyjamas.

quietly intellectual. soft bean. literally the duck with knife meme because she protective but just because she could cut a bitch with her jawline doesn’t mean she’s going to.

spiritually the village wise old woman even though she’s literally thirty. automatically everyone’s mother she has adopted everyone i do not make the rules. you’re hungry? you want tea? you need help? need someone to talk to? go to caprice’s she’ll never snake you out.

if you live in the town she automatically cares about u that’s just how it is she is concerned about everyone always except herself she actually do be kinda self-hating tho my baby :(

she won’t seek you out because she prefers to keep to quiet places but you can find her at her house, in her gardens, or in the library she likes to volunteer at! 

you know that house everyone goes past and they’re like, ‘if i had the money i’d live in that house’? she lives in that house. it’s a bit like the tallis house in atonement with the view of jocelyn’s home in broadchurch. really pretty, relic from times past, unmatched view of the sea, everyone wants it. carefully looked-over gardens, a swing-seat where she sits and reads. you get me, it’s just... so pretty.

really sweet accent. like, italian accents are pretty and i’m a lesbian so i’ve gotta say it here you know.

so basically her getting her ( fake ) family’s fortune was one big ol’ mistake. her mother wasn’t of sound mind when she changed the will but someone didn’t check properly so guess she’s got it now. think murdoch media, grovesnor group, that kind of collective; conservative assholes and caprice de luca is not one jot like any of them. 

she just wants to write her books and help out as much as she can god bless her she’s such a sweetheart. ( she writes historical fiction and you’ve never met someone more cautious about accuracy. her one exception is medici masters of florence but we’re not having no philippa gregory in this bitch. elizabeth of york didn’t fuck richard iii thank you for your time. )

it was a difficult decision for her not to come clean abt the whole situation because she felt bad about taking advantage, but it meant she could really help people with the insane amount of money she came to have! she doesn’t flaunt it, and if it wasn’t for the last name most people probably wouldn’t even know she had it. 

she tried going to law school like her parents but she just couldn’t get into it. she’d rather pay for people’s legal advice rather than do it herself and not be any good at it! 

that’s particularly true of the winter though she can never really work out why.

hopeless romantic!1!1! even tho she’s been burned in love before like she’s a daydreaming sweetheart please protect her sweet lil bby

she’s the kind of person you feel spiritually should’ve belonged to the renaissance. just that sense of displacement that lingers around a person, and you wonder, just for a moment, if they’d have been happier. of course, it’s a futile thing to wonder, because we’re born and we die as it happens.

honestly she’s baby but so easily manipulated. like make her feel bad and she’ll bend over backwards to make u feel better... someone please give her a new backbone.

please... be gentle with my child.

—  ♥　♡　♥　wanted connections   ♥　♡　♥  — 

someone she tutors maybe? like she’s a smart little bean.

do your character’s actual fake parents suck? well then you can live at caprice’s house now. i don’t make the rules she does.

someone who’s taking advantage of the sweet but absolutely loaded bean for her money.

people who like her books because tell her you do and she’ll cry out of happiness and it’s the softest thing ever.

people she’s helped out with money for tuition etc. who are now friends with her and go visit to make sure the introverted smol is okay! like give her soft friends please.

ik she’s like the oldest person here right now but. hopefully at some point someone give her a soft partner. she’s a soft bi so anyone works.

a de luca relative who’s salty about the family inheritance??? conservative, entitled, still rich enough, pushy and trying to make her life a misery bc they hate everything she stands for 

[head-and-heart]

The 100 Highlights - “Pandora’s Box” (5x04)

Hey fam! I’m back again this week to cover the highlights for 5x04, aka. Pandora’s Box. A shitton of stuff happened in this episode so I’m excited to dig through it and share some of my personal highlights with you all!

To view other posts in this series, click here.

With that out of the way, let’s get into it:

GAIA’S HAIR. heart EYES mothafucka!

Ian and Paige both slayed the game with acting this episode! The way Abby’s voice cracks when she says “it was me” and Kane’s look of absolute and complete despair as he kills that Grounder in the arena ... hating himself for it, hating himself for choosing self-preservation (and also for playing Octavia’s game). Wow.

Can we take a moment to talk about how fucked this justice system is? And by fucked I mean TERRIFYING AND AWESOME. Like, the idea that this tyrant gets to decide whether your crime has been forgiven based off of how entertaining your fight was ... And if you fail to perform to the crowd’s approval, then you are stuck in a continuous cycle of kill or be killed every. single. day. until you either win the crowd’s favour or die. That’s metal as hell, man. 

“Do I have your attention now?” yes Captain Daddy

I could listen to Bellamy and Charmaine negotiate all day. They both carry such an intensity with them and that entire scene they had together was fire. We’ve never really gotten to see Bellamy take a hand at diplomacy in this way before and it feels so good to see him taking on a role as a recognized leader by the antagonist on this show. It really feels like this is where his character arc has been leading him and I’m just *chokes* so proud of my son. If Charmaine and Clarke and Bellamy were the only three leaders on this show, perhaps they could strike a deal. *sigh* Alas, that is not the case.

THAT BELLARKE SCENE YO

THE WAY THAT BELLAMY PAUSES IN THE DOORWAY, AS IF TO MAKE SURE SHE’S REAL. AND THE WAY SHE STARES AT HIM LIKE SHE’S NOT SURE IF HE’S REAL EITHER OR JUST A HALLUCINATION. I MEAN GOD. AND THEN HE FREAKING HELPS HER UP AND IT’S SO SOFT AND INTIMATE AND I’M WEAK.

“You’re really here.” *cue my Shakespearean death* HER LIP WAS TREMBLING FAM I CAN’T DEAL

“Clarke, you saved us all.” “And now you’re home.” CAUSE HOME IS WITH HER. The tears in Clarke’s eyes reflect the tears in my soul.

WE GOT TWO HUGS IN ONE SCENE GUYS. THIS IS A NEW RECORD LIKE F UCK

ALSO CAN WE FREAKING TALK ABOUT HOW FUCKING SENSUAL THAT SHOT OF BELLAMY’S HANDS ON CLARKE’S ALMOST BARE BACK WAS AND NEVER STOP TALKING ABOUT IT???? CAUSE I STILL HAVEN’T FOUND MY WIG #SexiestTVMoment2k18

Also, I will never, never, ever stop screaming about this shot:

OR THIS ONE

IT LOOKS LIKE THEY WERE MAKING OUT FAM.

Speaking of which, the cinematography in this episode was Something Else. It has some of my favourite shots of the entire series (including the wide shot I’ve included).

“And they call me the cockroach.”

Which brings us to THIS:

LOOK ^^ LOOK HOW FUCKING FOND HE IS. BELLAMY AND CLARKE LAUGHING TOGETHER. AND HE’S JUST LOOKING AT HER WITH THIS FUCKING EXPRESSION ON HIS FACE LIKE SHE IS HIS WHOLE GODDAMN WORLD

LOOOOOOOOOKKKKKK

The hand on her shoulder and the way he says “we gotta go” ... so freaking soft I need help

KILL THE HOSTAGE TAKER AND HIS GIRLFRIEND KILL THE HOSTAGE TAKER AND HIS GIRLFRIEND KILL THE HOSTAGE TAKER AND HIS GIRLFRIEND KILL THE HOSTAGE TAKER AND HIS GIRLFRIEND KILL THE HOSTAGE TAKER AND HIS GIRLFRIEND KILL THE HOSTAGE TAKER AND HIS GIRLFRIEND KILL THE HOSTAGE TAKER AND HIS GIRLFRIEND KILL THE HOSTAGE TAKER AND HIS GIRLFRIEND KILL THE HOSTAGE TAKER AND HIS GIRLFRIEND

So ... The Dark Year = cannibalism ... right?

I really appreciate all the callbacks to Aurora Blake this season. It’s important to remind the audience where these characters came from, how they ended up the way they are.

“Octavia, please. Strength without mercy is nothing. It’s nothing.” THANK YOU FOR FINALLY VERBALIZING THIS ON THE SHOW. Y’ALL DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW HAPPY THIS LINE MAKES ME. Like, I feel like in the latest seasons the show has started to feel a bit like it is romanticizing violence in a way that really grateS on me by presenting it as being “badass” rather than brutal. But this line here doesn’t make bloodsport out as being badass, but as being weak. And I needed that.

Can we talk about Indra saying that she made sure to match up Kane with a weaker opponent the second time? She’s looking out for him however she can, even behind Octavia’s back. She could have told Octavia the truth about Abby, but she didn’t - she allowed Kane to make his own choice. I’m such a weak bitch for this friendship guys

“What have we done?” “What we had to do to survive.” “How many times can we tell ourselves that? [...] No, it’s what we say to justify the horror we inflict on each other. I can’t do it anymore.”

^ THIS ^ LINE ^ 

I have to admit that after hearing the trademark “what we had to do to survive” line in the trailer I rolled my eyes. How many times have we heard that one? But I was so wrong about how it would be implemented into the show and I’M SO PLEASED?? Cause for once, someone actually pointed out the hollowness of those words. They’ve said them so many times that they don’t mean anything anymore. They’re just an empty way of justifying the terrible things that these characters have done to keep themselves and their people alive. But after a certain number of atrocities have been committed, can you really continue to use that excuse? Or is there a limit to all the bloodshed? I’m just so happy that it has finally been verbalized how meaningless that string of words has become.

Kabby has been getting scenes that feel like they’ve been pulled straight out of fic this season

I really am intrigued by Abby’s storyline this season, though. I think it’s going to be her best character arc yet. The 100 has dealt with drugs in their storylines before but the idea of addiction and the trauma it cause isn’t something that has really been touched on in this show before so I’m excited to see where it goes.

Abby promising to stop taking the pills only to ... try to take the pills later in the episode. That was painful. But it shows that the road to recovery isn’t easy. 

Loved the little commentary on the four different Eligius ships. What happened to Eligius III? Shannon Kook anybody? I’m so excited to find out what happens with that plotline.

Listen fam: I am so here for Bellamy appearing out of the light like an avenging angel in all of his dramatic entrances this season. That’s my mans. 

“I knew you’d come.” I LOVE how this echoes Madi’s “Clarke knew you would come.” The two most important people in Bellamy’s life having faith in him? My Biggest Kink. 

The Blakes are dysfunctional as fuck and I get really conflicted about their relationship but that hug was nice. I like how Octavia’s walls just completely fell down around her in that moment. It’s nice to know that there’s a human somewhere underneath that armor.

Also ... Clarke and Bellamy propelling into the bunker together? I love two (2) dramatic soulmates.

Clarke and Bellamy’s identical “dafuck happened down here OCTAVIA” looks are lowkey the best part of this episode. The couple that judges together fucks together ... wait. 

“Love the warpaint by the way.” I take it back ... THIS is the best part of the episode.

CHARMAINE JUST HAS SUCH A PRESENCE FAM, like that bitch steals every single scene. She has such a subtle yet condescending tone when she is talking to Octavia? Like, I was really amazed during my rewatch of this interaction with Octavia. It’s like she managed to strip her bare with just a couple words. She is not intimidated by Octavia’s facade, and it brings out this vulnerability in O. Makes her seem small. DIYOZA IS SO POWERFUL

Diyoza and Bellamy’s matching “what the fuck” looks when Octavia told them they should only be prepping for 814 people ... y’all. 

This is one of those scenes where I don’t know whether it is supposed to be comical or not but it’s just ... so fucking funny guys. Like, I can’t get over it. I will never be over it.

THE RAVEN SHOWING UP ON THE COMPUTER SCREEN. I LOVE THAT CALLBACK TO 3X16 SO MUCH GUYS LIKE RAVEN REYES IS A FREAKING BADASS

“Real cute.” SOMEONE TELL ME HOW IT IS POSSIBLE FOR TWO CHARACTERS TO HAVE SO MUCH CHEMISTRY WHEN THEY HAVE NEVER EVEN SHARED A SCENE TOGETHER. TELL ME HOW.

Murphy taking a nap in the cryo pod ... tell me why I love this idiot so much?

LISTEN, LISTEN. I may not be into it romantically but Lindsey and Richard slay every single scene together and Murphy and Raven’s scenes are always SO good. Like, Murphy telling Raven that he’ll be the one to pull the plug? Because everyone expects him to be the shitty one anyway? Because that’s who he expects himself to be? He thinks he has nothing left to lose, he already hates himself so much. It makes my heart hurt. Every once in awhile Murphy manages to be heroic in a way that isn’t considered to be conventionally heroic. But it is, because its Murphy. Wow, I Am Emotion.

“Why do you always have to be the one to sacrifice?” “This girl is some kind of genius.” RAVEN REYES GETTING THE APPRECIATION SHE DESERVES CAN I GET A HELL YEA

Bellamy trying to hold onto Octavia’s hand as she rises up towards the heavens? Hmmmmmmmm 

The return of Charmaine, McCreary and Bellamy’s “WHAT THE FUCK” faces as Gaia starts leading the chant as Octavia rises. Goddamn why is this so funny. THEY WALKED INTO A FUCKING CULT. Jesus the bunker literally looks like a bunch of wackjobs. This episode was a comedic gold mine.

I have to take a moment to SCREAM about the score in this episode. First, “you’re real” was beautiful. (Seriously.) And there were so many other good music moments too, but the soundtrack when Octavia emerged from the bunker was straight up epic. That’s the kind of music that gives me goosebumps. God, I really hope its released with the soundtrack this year.

Bellamy Blake’s Disappointed Dad Look™ y’all know the one

“Looks to me like someone read Ovid a few too many times.” BELLAMY BLAKE AKA #1 NERD STRIKES AGAIN (but seriously that line was so freaking funny Octavia looks like a scolded puppy phadkwinskakq)

“She even had time to flip me the bird.” askakdniqnqkd I stan him (and Raven)

“Go-Sci’s monstrously hideous, one-legged goalie attempts to defend.” Guys, I’ve discovered the greatest example of verbal irony ever breathed on this show. 

BUT REAL TALK, that soccer scene was SO CUTE. Like, this is what I missed? These small, joyful moments? I honestly think the last one of these truly playful moments we got was possible the car scene in 3x01. It’s been far too long. But they’re so important to break up the tension.

PULL THE LEVER, KROOOOOOONK

When Octavia was shot by that thing I was totally NOT expecting that. The first time I watched the episode I literally jumped up and just went “OHHHHHHHHHHH SHIT”. That is honestly one of the most trippily filmed scenes this show has done. Octavia is losing her shit. This show has really upped the game with how they film explosion scenes.

Listen, I know we aren’t supposed to be rooting for Eligius but I honestly like them, guys. Like I’ve only seen a few episodes of them and I would already die for both Zeke (yes, you read that right - ZEKE) and Diyoza. They both probably make my top five favourite characters. THEY JUST FASCINATE ME. (And come on, Zeke is just so lovable?) 

TO BE HONEST, I don’t care if they win that valley! Fuck, I want them to. I really hope that we get some of our mains teaming up with Eligius this season. That would be the greatest plot twist they could do, having the “bad guys” become the “heroes” (even though neither of those things really exist on this show)

Also, I just want to say: I counted TEN hugs in this episode guys. That has GOT to be a new record.

Ending the episode with one of Bellamy and Clarke’s “what the fuck we gonna do now” looks was the best thing they could have done. Feels like old times. *war flashbacks*

Also, I have something to say. Y’all know I don’t much care for Octavia but i actually think her costume this season is pretty cool. But one thing for your consideration ...

(Source: @coolpops) 

SO. After having actually seen the first four episodes for myself, I think that what the reviewers have said about these being the strongest string of episodes this show has done might have some truth to it. (Although, imo, Season 1 and Season 2 could rival it.) This season has been solid so far, and I’m really excited for all the freaky shit that’s going to go down next episode. The story is picking up!

See y’all next week with “Shifting Sands”!

[thatsnotperiod-blog]

television. pilot. bbc’s jonathan strange and mr norrell is my favorite show i’ve never seen because its whole thing is making an interesting concept (magic) boring by piling on a regency setting, academia, and early 19th century british nationalism. 

Starts out with a raven. It seems hungry! Some guy is putting water and some other dumb crap (is that a broken pen?) in a bowl while his servants watch. He looks like a nerd. The magic didn’t work. But is he in want of a wife? 

He kind of bumbles out to a side street, and, TITLE. 

Sidestreet bumbler bumbles on past a bookstore and is observed in a sinister way by a man who looks really, really similar to him, but is actually a totally separate man. BBC original series are perilous like this. The sinister man is just getting a book so it’s fine though. Ah, Book People. 

Then a narrator tells me that, “Some years ago there was in York a society of magicians. They met on the third Wednesday of every month, and read each other long, dull papers upon the history of English magic.” The narrator is a dumb idea but just the phrase “dull papers” has my heart pounding. This narration is cut with Our Hero bumbling up to one such meeting, attended by the Most British-Looking Men Available, many in wigs. 

Our Hero is revealed to be an anxious-voiced dilettante called Mr Segundus and he wants to know, “Why is magic no longer done in England?” and his question is greeted with derision, which tells me a couple things, in order 1. that magic may be done elsewhere but certainly is not in France, because if the French were doing magic, Horatio Nelson would be doing it too 2. that magic is probably alive and well in Scotland 3. Mr Segundus must not be in want of a wife as clearly he is not in possession of a good fortune and Mrs Bennet will have to turn her sights elsewhere! 

Mr Segundus gets cornered outside by a man who introduces himself as Honeyfoot (lol) and it’s Brian Pettifer, one of the Several Actors of Britain! He was Couthon in that 2009 French Revolution movie, Mr Raggles in Vanity Fair, Wheeler in To the Ends of the Earth, Poupart (not Poptart) in the Musketeers, and many other things (Growler in Bleak House, Boycott in Garrow’s Law)! Good to see you, Brian Pettifer!

Anyway Honeyfoot (lol) is like, Mr Segundus I agree with you, people should be doing magic. But apparently the books about how to do it are super rare -- even in York! They hit up a book store, and seems like Segundus tried to reserve some magic books but the asshole store owner sold them already. Segundus, visibly deflated, asks if the guy has anything on “the nature of clouds” which, jesus, being a gigantic nerd in the 19th century is so fucking bleak if clouds is your fallback. OMG it was a ruse! While the guy is off looking for cloud books, Segundus hops over the counter and snatches the cash sheet to “find the devil who keeps swiping my books!”

Someone named Norrell, they discover, is the devil in question. They hop in a carriage to go find him. They talk magic on the way there, and Segundus says he bought a nonfunctional spell from a street magician who threw in a free prophecy: “Magic will be returned to England by two magicians.” 

Honeyfoot (lol) is like, “We are two magicians. John Segundus and Mr Honeyfoot (lol)” which is the same construction as the title of the show but ... not ... the right guys. Turns out the street magician set expectations already and Segundus shoots him down. RIP, John Segundus & Mr Honeyfoot, the Show That Never Was. 

They arrive at Mr Norrell’s pad and are admitted by the Sinister Bookstore Guy from earlier. Mr Norrell is a grouchy alpha nerd who has read Segundus’s publications but wants to throw out some criticism anyway. Segundus and Honeyfoot geek sweetly over Norrell’s library. Segundus repeats his question again and the camera zooms hard on Mr Norrell, who says, “It is a wrong question, sir. Magic is not ended in England. I myself am quite a tolerable practical magician.”

! O H S H I T !

Back at the York Society of Extremely British Men, this assertion is shouted down as “absolute tripe.” They decide that they’ll write to Norrell and ask him to show them some magic or shut up. 

York Minster. Nighttime. The Society approaches the front steps, observing that it’s the hour and place appointed but Norrell has clearly chickened out. 

“Mr Norrell concedes defeat!” says their beefiest guy. 

But then Sinister Bookstore guy (his name is Childermass, and I guess he’s Norrell’s servant) appears saying no, Norrell doesn’t concede shit, he’ll just be working from home today, and also he wants everybody to sign a contract promising they will no longer call themselves magicians if he succeeds at magic. Everybody signs, except Segundus, who is like “magic is my life u can’t take it.” Bleak.

Meanwhile Mr Norrell is doing a typical work-from-home where he’s watching Real Housewives of New Jersey in his PJs. Just kidding, he’s waving his hands over a bowl of water. How do people in this show keep themselves from accidentally doing magic while shaving?

The Society wanders into York Minster. Childermass, building his character, finds stuff to lean against. Bells chime.

And then, MAGIC! Some of the carvings at the top of the clustered columns in the nave are talking, and it is real creepy because they’re talking about a murder they witnessed, until the camera gets up there and they look like Statler and Waldorf. The York Society are all freaking out. 

Cut to the rood screen, which of course features statues of all the kings of England and they’re bickering. OK. There’s a Richard III joke which I tepidly laughed at. A carving of a woman with a harp is singing, and a statue of a former archbishop (as York Minster is, in fact, actually a cathedral) yells at Beefy in Latin.

Then the magic is over. Norrell, at home, collapses back in his chair, because a WFH day also involves a lot of early booze. The York Society is invigorated, then sad because they all signed the We’re Not Magicians paper. 

The next day, the York Society of No Longer Magicians is taking down all their signs (lol) while Childermass, building his character, leans back in their chairs and smokes. Segundus says he’s just happy that “magic is restored to England” but then, Segundus didn’t sign shit. 

“Do you think,” Segundus asks Childermass, “Mr Norrell would be offended if I wrote to the London newspapers of this?”

Childermass is like, yes he would be offended, but do it anyway: “I rather think my master has hidden his talent long enough. It’s time for him to take his place, and London is where I will take him.” 

OK then Mr. World’s Worst Press Secretary. 

Meanwhile! Elsewhere! A man rides a horse while Charlotte Riley (!) attends church. Horse Guy is bugging Charlotte Riley from the window, and she hilariously ignores him, but meets him on the way out. 

He’s listing the ways he has reformed himself for her, not playing cards, not flirting with anybody in Brighton (but the Bennets might be there!) not drinking as much, etc. His name is Jonathan, hers is Arabella, and apparently they are in love. All Arabella wants from him is for him to find “a way to occupy [his] time” instead of “perpetual holiday.” 

He gets on one knee, missing the point and saying that he sees he must act. 

“Jonathan,” she says. “Do not act. Think.”

The camera zooms to him to imply that this has not occurred before. 

*** IT’S DAD TIME ***

Jonathan is apparently being prevented from having any occupation by his Mean Old Dad, who tortures the servants and harangues his son for being useless. He sounds like the Mean Old Dad from Moulin Rouge a little.

But it gets worse! “You have proven yourself a failure at everything you have done,” says Mean Old Dad, “and you will have no assistance finding an occupation while I am yet living.”

Yikes! Later. 

Jonathan -- It’s Jonathan Strange, ok, it’s him, the other guy in the show -- is getting a drink with Arabella’s brother and probably venting about his Mean Old Dad. And, yep, there it is: “My father delights in torturing me, as he tortures his servants ... as he tortured my mother.” Wow, that’s the same word I used like two paragraphs up!

“All I’ve ever truly wished for was your sister,” says Strange, clearly thinking that is a sweet thing to say instead of a gross one. Arabrother leaves, and Strange empties a flask into his cup. wellllllllp.

Morning. Hangover. Someone is rapping at the chamber door. Strange’s servants are here to get him because his Mean Old Dad is locked in his office. Turns out he’s mean old dead!

Funeral. Strange triumphant. He wonders how long he should wait before asking Arabella to marry him. 

London! Norrell and Childermass in a carriage, reading Norrell’s press clips. He is causing Quite a Stir, which apparently is his intention, or Childermass’s. Norrell is pissed off that London is loud and expensive and that his WSJ crosshatch portrait isn’t flattering. OK, guy. They pass by a street magician who is talking about “the Raven King” and then gives Norrell the world’s weirdest stare. Norrell bitches that street magicians give the practice of magic an “such an appalling name” and Childermass does a stage mom thing where he tells Norrell that he is the only one who has any real talent and the future of his art depends on him: “This is what you have worked for. This is your great opportunity. If all goes well here, when folk think of a magician...”

“...They will think of myself,” says Norrell, with chilling self-reverence. Childermass gives him a little more pep talk and sends him out of the carriage. What -- what kind of dynamic did I just watch? 

New scene. Parliament. Somebody’s yelling, and -- is that Samuel West?! -- and Samuel West (!) is looking bored. Nobody told me Samuel West was in this show! Wow! Samuel West. 

Norrell is wandering boringly through the halls. 

Turns out Samuel West is the target of the parliamentary harangue (which is, from what I understand of Actual Parliament, just punching the clock for these guys) and has the decency to look a little ashamed of it. His name in the show is Sir Walter Pole, not Samuel West. He stands to rebut, and does so with all the sneering, grandstanding, and rhetorical posturing that constitute the parliamentary equivalent of “slow Monday.”

He tosses a zinger to the opposition leader on his way out, and Norrell tries to lobby him in the, uh, lobby. But Sir Walter just scoots into his office, and one of his servants shuts the door in Norrell’s face. The servant says, he knows Norrell has an appointment, but can they move the meeting to Chez Sir Walter instead of the office? 

Scene change. Chez Sir Walter. There’s a lady there who tries to snob Norrell, and it works until she hits on an academic subject. They discuss “fairy servants” and Norrell explains that fairies are trouble-with-a-capital-t-and-that-rhymes-with-p-and-that-stands-for-pool. 

The servant/scheduler from earlier is handing out tea, and we learn that his name is Stephen. 

Norrell states his intention: to use magic to help in the war. Sir Walter is totally snowed by this, and thinks maybe magic could be used to clean up uniforms or like, entertain people maybe? He Doesn’t Get It. Norrell, clearly the IT guy of his day, heaves a sigh.

There’s a young woman coughing pathetically and curled up on a chaise longue in the background, and Sir Walter introduces her as his fiancée Emma, like it’s totally normal to be this sick in somebody’s living room. Norrell is very surprisingly sweet to her, and she says she’s pretty into magic. Norrell suggests hot tea with lemon and nutmeg for her cough. Sir Walter kicks him out with a lecture: “Magic is not respectable. The government cannot meddle in such things.” OK.

“How’d it go?” says Childermass, back in the carriage.

“Very well,” says Norrell, on the verge of tears. I’m not letting go of the stage mom analogy because it seems to get more and more on the nose. Norrell notices they’re not going home, and Childermass says nope, they’re going Lady Godstone’s house: “It’s a soiree.”

“A party?” says Norrell, looking devastated. “I wish to go home and read a book.”

Norrell at a party. It’s like those MBTI specialized hells, and this is INTJ hell. It’s crowded, people are laughing, and Norrell doesn’t know anyone, but they’re all gossiping about him. Norrell escapes INTJ Hell and shuts himself in the host’s library, or INTJ Heaven. Ah, dichotomy. 

After a minute of Alone Time with Books, Norrell is interrupted by two Party People. Party Guy 1 is harassing the Party Guy 2, apparently the host, about how Norrell was promised, but no magic seems to have been did. “That gentleman is reading a book!” he says, of Norrell, to demonstrate how boring and amagical the party is. 

Norrell interrupts them and kind of says hi I’m the guy you’re talking about. They both recover awkwardly. Party Guy 2 introduces himself as Drawlight, and Party Guy 1 as Lascelles. Drawlight tries to drag Norrell out to introduce him to people and Norrell slips out the back. 

He’s met at outside by like the street magician from earlier, who says some creepy stuff to him: “You think yourself a very fine fellow, hoarding books like a miser hoards gold. But I have a book you won’t find in your library, or any other.”

Norrell tries to get back inside, but the doors have locked behind him. 

“It’s written by the Raven King,” says the creepy guy. Norrell makes the face I make when someone tells me they saw a spider in their shower five years ago, which is to say absolute living nightmare horror. “And it tells me all about you.”

Creepy Guy introduces himself as Vinculus, magician of Threadneedle Street, so abruptly that Norrell almost pees. He goes on that Norrell’s coming was foretold, and while he’s doing this he’s leaning in and menacing him in like, kind of an overboard way? 

Norrell scoots away and, feeling safer, snottily shouts that magic can’t tell the future and only total hacks make prophecies. He undermines this by continually yelling for Childermass. 

Vinculus keeps going: Two magicians will appear in England, one will be Fearfulness and one will be Arrogance. Some stuff will happen, both will fail, some other stuff. Norrell is stuck on the two magicians thing. Vinculus wanders off, and Norrell shouts for Childermass again. He looks really scared! 

Back Chez Norrell, Childermass is trying to calm Norrell down, and asks what Vinculus wanted. Norrell hysterics that he mentioned a book, “and if he does have a book, I want it, and then I want to go home to Yorkshire.” 

Childermass plays hardball: “Do you wish to make a success of this, or do you not?”

New Day. Childermass watches Vinculus sell spells on the street. Norrell meets Drawlight and Lascelles in his house and, surprise surprise, they want a favor, to be the guys who get credit for discovering him. Norrell is refusing, he doesn’t want to attend parties or do dumb stuff, he wants to go home.

Meanwhile, Vinculus and Childermass are talking brass tacks about whether Norrell will get Vinculus’s book. Childermass chooses an odd method of intimidation by like, threateningly whipping out some tarot cards to tell Vinculus’s fortune. I mean, if that’s worked before... Vinculus tries to one-up him by telling Norrell’s fortune. Is this like, a tarot duel? Vinculus has turned all the cards to kings, and says it means that “the Raven King is coming.” Childermass is pissed that his cards are all messed up now. I know!

Chez Norrell. On their way out, Drawlight and Lascelles gleefully mention that Sir Walter’s fiancée is dead. Well, she was pretty sick. Norrell starts to mutter about how hard it is to bring someone back from the dead. Drawlight transparently eggs him on. 

“I will need to send for more books,” says Norrell. He’s so into this plan! 

New scene. Jonathan Strange finds some peasants doing something poor, and rides up to interfere. They explain that they’ve found a magician sleeping under the hedge. What? Sure. It’s Vinculus. 

Vinculus wakes up, stares right at Jonathan, and gives him the two magicians, Fear and Arrogance, speech while stumbling around. Jonathan Strange looks very confused. He’s also holding a large stick for reasons that are obscure to me. Vinculus tells Strange that he is destined to become a great magician. Strange pokes him with his stick and tells him to choose someone else, because it sounds like being a magician sucks. Still, he buys two spells from Vinculus, probably because a nice patrician power move is to condescendingly buy someone’s wares. 

That night at dinner, Strange is telling Arabella about his big plan for the farm he’s inherited, and she laughs at him because the plan is bad.

“Very well, I’m going to study magic,” he says. Arabella and her brother are shocked. They all look at the spells and Strange decides to like, do one, right there at the table. It’s a spell to discover what your enemy is doing presently. It works, and Strange sees a stranger, apparently his enemy, in a mirror. 

“Good magicians conjure up fairy spirits and long-dead kings,” says Strange. “I appear to have summoned the spirit of a banker.” It’s Mr Norrell. Ha!

London, Norrell. He arrives at Sir Walter’s house with a huge book. Sir Walter gives him access to the room where Poor Dead Emma is like, dead. Norrell shuts them out, alone with the corpse, and opens his book, looking terrified. 

There’s silence, and something rattles, and a man with Ziggy Stardust hair and huge eyebrows appears. He’s also got a synthed voice and a weird jacket that I can’t pause on to figure out. He is clearly a fairy, and Norrell clearly summoned him, and he acknowledges that Norrell is destined to return magic to England. He does some back and forth about “what do I get if I resurrect this woman.” He wants to help Norrell and get credit, Norrell wants him to do this one quick necromancy and never be summoned again. The fairy does the old “maybe I will take my business to your competitor” and Norrell freaks out: “There is no other magician.”

“Of course there is another magician,” says the fairy. “He is your dearest friend in all the world.”

“I have no friends,” says Norrell. I laugh. He asks the fairy again if he can do the necromancy. 

The fairy says, if he gets half of Emma’s life, it’s on. Norrell looks sad, but then he asks if they should sign something. The fairy is like no, I’ll just take something of Emma’s. The shadow of his hand stretches over her. Yikes!

Cut to Drawlight and Lascelles hanging out downstairs. They hear a woman scream. Double yikes! Everybody runs upstairs and Emma is fighting her way out of her funeral shroud. Triple yikes! Her mother points out that half of her little finger on her left hand is missing. Quadruple yikes! She brushes it off, looking out of it, and asks Sir Walter to dance with her. 

Norrell zombie-walks out to his carriage. Quintuple yikes!

Until next time, Favorite Show!

[jgroffdaily]

Innocence lost, as a narrative device, has been pretty good to Jonathan Groff in his 32 years on Earth. He’s got all the nice-boy bona fides: a wholesome, almost evangelical smile; that big-talent-from-a-small-town enthusiasm; a few earnest cameos on Glee. His acting break was the teen-sexual-discovery Broadway musical Spring Awakening—think a 19th-century Riverdale with singing, minus all that murder. On HBO’s Looking, he played a younger man, new to San Francisco, learning about love and relationships (and cruising in the park) from older men. At the beginning of Mindhunter, David Fincher’s incredible new Netflix series about the guys who figured out how to hunt serial killers, Groff’s FBI agent character literally drinks from a bottle of milk to calm his nerves. By the end of the show, he’s talking dirty to murderers and staring down rapists. So, yeah. Naïveté and youth confronting the cruel realities of the world—that’s kind of Groff’s thing.

Maybe that’s because he came from one of the foremost American stereotypes of wholesomeness—Lancaster, Pennsylvania, a.k.a. Mennonite and Amish country—then skipped college to become an actor in New York City. Which means he had to grow up fast to find the kind of success he’s had—including playing the fussy, tax-happy King George III in Hamilton. So it makes sense that Groff’s attuned to the emotional fallout of the prolonged crash landing that is leaving adolescence for adulthood.

GQ posted up at a coffee shop in Tribeca to talk about working with David Fincher and living offline. We also brainstormed serial-killer names for him, in case this acting thing doesn’t work out.

GQ: I tried to find your social-media accounts. Nothing, huh?

Jonathan Groff: I did have AOL Instant Messenger when I was in middle school. But the idea of curating my life just seems like so much work. The one time I almost did it was when I was doing Looking on HBO. But then I thought about all the people with millions of followers that have flop projects.

You’ve been working basically nonstop since you started. Do you feel like you missed out on some non-work stuff that you wanted to do, like bumming around Europe?

I got cast for Spring Awakening when I was 20. Every dream I had came true in that moment. But I was closeted—I’d kept a journal every day for years, but I never journaled about the real stuff, because I was always afraid someone would read it. I left Spring Awakening and went to Italy by myself for two weeks. I was journaling in Florence, and I was like, “Oh, I have to come out of the closet. I have to break up with this guy”—he was my “roommate.” So that was my awakening moment, when I stepped into my own skin while in a foreign country by myself and had a very stereotypical moment of revelation.

That’s not stereotypical!

There’s kind of a gift in being gay, because if you come out, you’re forced to express yourself. So it becomes a muscle for someone who doesn’t like conflict and comes from a Mennonite/Amish background where no one talks about their feelings. It’s forced me to be more expressive than I would be naturally. All the projects that I’ve done since that moment have so much more meaning. And I realized whether you’re playing a gay or straight person, it’s all the same. We all have heartbreak and love.

Your character on the show, Holden, is obsessed with serial killers. And by the end of the season, he starts getting pretty serial killer–y himself.

One of the big mission statements of the show was to eliminate this idea of the mustache-twisting comic-book serial killer. Because in reality, serial killers often have average IQs. They’re not geniuses. They’re sad, fucked-up, dark human beings. The idea of the show is to humanize—not humanize their actions but to show them as fucked-up, messy, disgusting humans instead of to romanticize the idea of the capital-S, capital-K serial killers. They’re all narcissists. They’re all so fame-obsessed. And they all have problems with their moms. So Holden doesn’t become a serial killer, but he starts out as a wide-eyed, intelligent, inexperienced FBI agent. As the season goes on, and as the behavioral-science unit starts to expand and get press and become this worthwhile thing, he becomes more self-obsessed and narcissistic.

He also has a bit of an awakening.

One of the things I love about the character arc is that early on Holden becomes obsessed with Debbie, his girlfriend. She’s blowing his mind sexually, because he’s not very experienced. And also she’s studying for a Ph.D., learning about philosophy and sociology and all this stuff that he thinks hasn’t been applied to law enforcement and could be so helpful. But once he gets into the jail cell with [Co-ed Killer] Ed Kemper, he’s a pig in shit. His passion gets transferred from his relationship with his girlfriend into his relationship with these serial killers. As the interviews go along, as you see [Chicago student-nurse murderer] Richard Speck and the other killers, the chemistry and the intrigue and the electricity that’s happening is now between Holden and these horrifying people, not Holden and his girlfriend.

What’s it like working with David Fincher?

He’s famous for doing multiple takes. His philosophy is so much money, so much preparation, is spent in getting ready for this day—why are we just going to do it quick and try to get out of here? Let’s sit in this and explore as much as we can with the time we’re given instead of trying to leave before the bar closes. He once said to me, “No one ever talks about the fact that all we’re doing is problem-solving.” He’s such a genius that he sees any ticks that any actor would do and immediately zeros in on them.

You can’t get anything by Fincher.

Yep. He would see me doing these things that I do and call me out on them repeatedly. I fall back on being enthusiastic and smiley in life, so he’d be like, “Stop smiling.” When I watched the show, I was like, “Wow, David really made me act.” He wanted to push me and have it be an experience that I’ve never had before. And he’s forcing everyone to do something out of their comfort zone.

It’s a dark show, but it’s also weirdly funny.

That’s the other thing about Mindhunter. David does lots of dark stuff—men talking about cutting off women’s heads. It’s so intense, but at the same time he has this black sense of humor. This whole David Fincher fucked-up humor is all over the show and makes it actually palatable.

What would your serial-killer name be?

The Mennonite Murderer—seemingly pure but totally diabolical.

But then it might seem like you’re only murdering Mennonites.

Which maybe I am.

[jonathangroffcentral]

Q&A Mindhunter’s Jonathan Groff Talks David Fincher, Coming Out, and Serial Killers

A conversation with the star of the best Netflix drama of 2017.

Innocence lost, as a narrative device, has been pretty good to Jonathan Groff in his 32 years on Earth. He’s got all the nice-boy bona fides: a wholesome, almost evangelical smile; that big-talent-from-a-small-town enthusiasm; a few earnest cameos on Glee. His acting break was the teen-sexual-discovery Broadway musical Spring Awakening—think a 19th-century Riverdale with singing, minus all that murder. On HBO’s Looking, he played a younger man, new to San Francisco, learning about love and relationships (and cruising in the park) from older men. At the beginning of Mindhunter, David Fincher’s incredible new Netflix series about the guys who figured out how to hunt serial killers, Groff’s FBI agent character literally drinks from a bottle of milk to calm his nerves. By the end of the show, he’s talking dirty to murderers and staring down rapists. So, yeah. Naïveté and youth confronting the cruel realities of the world—that’s kind of Groff’s thing.

Maybe that’s because he came from one of the foremost American stereotypes of wholesomeness—Lancaster, Pennsylvania, a.k.a. Mennonite and Amish country—then skipped college to become an actor in New York City. Which means he had to grow up fast to find the kind of success he’s had—including playing the fussy, tax-happy King George III in Hamilton.So it makes sense that Groff’s attuned to the emotional fallout of the prolonged crash landing that is leaving adolescence for adulthood.

GQ posted up at a coffee shop in Tribeca to talk about working with David Fincher and living offline. We also brainstormed serial-killer names for him, in case this acting thing doesn’t work out.

GQ: I tried to find your social-media accounts. Nothing, huh?

Jonathan Groff: I did have AOL Instant Messenger when I was in middle school. But the idea of curating my life just seems like so much work. The one time I almost did it was when I was doing Lookingon HBO. But then I thought about all the people with millions of followers that have flop projects.

You’ve been working basically nonstop since you started. Do you feel like you missed out on some non-work stuff that you wanted to do, like bumming around Europe?

I got cast for Spring Awakening when I was 20. Every dream I had came true in that moment. But I was closeted—I’d kept a journal every day for years, but I never journaled about the real stuff, because I was always afraid someone would read it. I left Spring Awakening and went to Italy by myself for two weeks. I was journaling in Florence, and I was like, “Oh, I have to come out of the closet. I have to break up with this guy”—he was my “roommate.” So that was my awakening moment, when I stepped into my own skin while in a foreign country by myself and had a very stereotypical moment of revelation.

That’s not stereotypical!

There’s kind of a gift in being gay, because if you come out, you’re forced to express yourself. So it becomes a muscle for someone who doesn’t like conflict and comes from a Mennonite/Amish background where no one talks about their feelings. It’s forced me to be more expressive than I would be naturally. All the projects that I’ve done since that moment have so much more meaning. And I realized whether you’re playing a gay or straight person, it’s all the same. We all have heartbreak and love.

Your character on the show, Holden, is obsessed with serial killers. And by the end of the season, he starts getting pretty serial killer–y himself.

One of the big mission statements of the show was to eliminate this idea of the mustache-twisting comic-book serial killer. Because in reality, serial killers often have average IQs. They’re not geniuses. They’re sad, fucked-up, dark human beings. The idea of the show is to humanize—not humanize their actions but to show them as fucked-up, messy, disgusting humans instead of to romanticize the idea of the capital-S,capital-K serial killers. They’re all narcissists. They’re all so fame-obsessed. And they all have problems with their moms. So Holden doesn’t become a serial killer, but he starts out as a wide-eyed, intelligent, inexperienced FBI agent. As the season goes on, and as the behavioral-science unit starts to expand and get press and become this worthwhile thing, he becomes more self-obsessed and narcissistic.

He also has a bit of an awakening.

One of the things I love about the character arc is that early on Holden becomes obsessed with Debbie, his girlfriend. She’s blowing his mind sexually, because he’s not very experienced. And also she’s studying for a Ph.D., learning about philosophy and sociology and all this stuff that he thinks hasn’t been applied to law enforcement and could be so helpful. But once he gets into the jail cell with [Co-ed Killer] Ed Kemper, he’s a pig in shit. His passion gets transferred from his relationship with his girlfriend into his relationship with these serial killers. As the interviews go along, as you see [Chicago student-nurse murderer] Richard Speck and the other killers, the chemistry and the intrigue and the electricity that’s happening is now between Holden and these horrifying people, not Holden and his girlfriend.

What’s it like working with David Fincher?

He’s famous for doing multiple takes. His philosophy is so much money, so much preparation, is spent in getting ready for this day—why are we just going to do it quick and try to get out of here? Let’s sit in this and explore as much as we can with the time we’re given instead of trying to leave before the bar closes. He once said to me, “No one ever talks about the fact that all we’re doing is problem-solving.” He’s such a genius that he sees any ticks that any actor would do and immediately zeros in on them.

You can’t get anything by Fincher.

Yep. He would see me doing these things that I do and call me out on them repeatedly. I fall back on being enthusiastic and smiley in life, so he’d be like, “Stop smiling.” When I watched the show, I was like, “Wow, David really made me act.” He wanted to push me and have it be an experience that I’ve never had before. And he’s forcing everyone to do something out of their comfort zone.

It’s a dark show, but it’s also weirdly funny.

That’s the other thing about Mindhunter. David does lots of dark stuff—men talking about cutting off women’s heads. It’s so intense, but at the same time he has this black sense of humor. This whole David Fincher fucked-up humor is all over the show and makes it actually palatable.

What would your serial-killer name be?

The Mennonite Murderer—seemingly pure but totally diabolical.

But then it might seem like you’re only murdering Mennonites.

Which maybe I am.

A version of this story originally appeared in the December 2017 issue under the title 'The Breakouts 2017.'

BY BENJY HANSEN-BUNDY - PHOTOGRAPHS BY BILLY KIDD

[necromancy-savant]

My opinions on every single Shakespeare play

Most of this consists of things I wrote down a while ago when I was reading a play a day so I could keep them all straight in my head, particularly the ones I’ve only read once. 

COMEDIES

All's Well That Ends Well – Forgettable and made me roll my eyes but still better than Love’s Labor’s Lost.

As You Like It – I’m left with a lot of questions at the end of this. Does Orlando know that Rosalind was Ganymede? If he’s friends with Ganymede now, won’t he wonder what happened to him? And shouldn’t he be friends with Rosalind knowingly before marrying her? Should a relationship be built on deception like that? I guess you could say the same about Twelfth Night, but Orsino finds out Viola was disguised before marrying her so actually no, you couldn’t.

Comedy of Errors – This might just be the silliest thing I’ve ever read but it made me laugh anyway. You’d really think they’d figure out they’ve been talking to different people by the end of Act 2 at the absolute latest, but whatever. The best line by far is: “If she lives till doomsday, she’ll burn a week longer than the whole world.” It’s because she’s really greasy.

Love's Labor's Lost - So boring and pointless I almost couldn’t finish it. Literally nothing at all happens the entire time and there’s no reason for any of them to like each other.

Measure for Measure – Having already read Henry VI Part 3 a couple of times, this was déjà vu in the worst possible way. Plus the ending was fucked up in a whole variety of ways. Also, I realized I have no idea who the protagonist is, though I guess I thought it was Isabella. Other than the malapropisms (at least one character in this play should definitely have a Twitter) and the marriages, it’s hard to see this as a comedy. The aforementioned marriages are all fucked up in their own ways, except for Claudio and Juliet who were already pretty much married so they don’t count. Isabella should have stayed a nun and stayed single, and the Duke is totally the kind of guy who wants to think he’s a good person when really he’s an irresponsible douchebag. Like just do your fucking job instead of fucking with everyone for the sake of fishing for compliments or playing the hero or whatever.

Merchant of Venice – I might be able to like this if it weren’t for the worst anti-Semitism I’ve ever been exposed to. I like Portia; I kind of wish she was in a different play. I think Antonio and Bassanio should just be together, and she could be perfectly happy being single. This is one pairing I actually think is convincing, but to be fair I’m usually not particularly invested in the idea of anyone ending up with anyone.

Merry Wives of Windsor – I had high hopes for this because Falstaff is in it, because apparently Queen Elizabeth specifically requested more Falstaff, so in that regard she knows what’s up (I disapprove of the fact that she wouldn’t let Shakespeare perform Richard II because Richard II is wonderful). This was very silly but I thought the part where Mistress Quickly mishears a ton of Latin words was funny. Also there’s this girl whose parents each want her to marry a different guy except she wants to marry a third guy who she actually likes and he likes her and stuff, and her parents are like “you can’t marry him because he hangs out with sketchy people like Prince Hal and Ned Poins” and I just think it’s hilarious that they have such a bad reputation. After Taming of the Shrew I almost didn’t want to read comedies ever again but I’m glad I stuck with it because most of them really aren’t like that at all.

Midsummer Night's Dream – I love this and I can’t even explain why and I don’t really have a good reason for liking it; it just makes me lol, especially Nick Bottom. My favorite line is “In ten lines it is too long, making it tedious.” That’s a beautiful thing to say.

Much Ado about Nothing – I actually liked this one. It’s a tiny bit like Taming of the Shrew if Taming of the Shrew wasn’t horrible. I like that the leads have a healthy relationship based on friendship and mutual respect. They say they don’t want to get married because they just don’t want to have to settle for someone they don’t like enough, which I think is a good attitude to have cause it means they take marriage seriously, and they’re too afraid to be made fun of by each other to admit they like each other. Plus everyone likes Beatrice’s wit and outgoing personality instead of saying how awful she is and that she talks too much (for the record, Kate in Taming has waaayyyyy fewer lines than I expected her to have so that’s something to think about). I like how Benedick believes Hero when she says she was framed which was a pleasant surprise since I was worried he’d take Claudio’s side. It’s the part where Beatrice says “I’d eat his heart in the marketplace” and Benedick is on their side and doesn’t question or doubt them. And he and Beatrice were good friends first without being disguised as other people, except briefly but she might have known it was him. I like that he takes the high ground at the end by saying that it doesn’t matter what he said before and he doesn’t care what anyone says because he’s happy. And I like that he’s really, really picky about what he wants in a girlfriend but her hair color doesn’t matter. That was really funny.

Taming of the Shrew – Worst thing I ever read. First it’s all rape culture, and then it;s all abusive marriage. It has everything I can’t stand about certain kinds of modern comedies.

Twelfth Night – I didn’t think I’d like this one but I actually thought it was funny and really entertaining despite the fact that I don’t care who ends up together, so that tells me it’s doing something right. I also realized I remember whole passages that I had no idea I remembered from 8th grade.

Two Gentlemen of Verona – I don’t really have any strong feelings about this except that Proteus does not deserve a happy ending and I wonder what’s going to happen the next time he sees a woman other than Julia. But I guess that’s why they call him Proteus.

HISTORIES

King John – The whole thing was kind of just a will they/won’t they with the armies of England and France, but I like how extra Constance is, and Eleanor is pretty great which is why I’m pissed that she randomly dies offstage. Philip the Bastard is also an interesting character, but I still don’t really get how he walked into court one day a bastard and left it a Plantagenet.

Richard II – Love it; truly beautiful and tragic and has some of the prettiest, deepest lines I’ve read in Shakespeare, and it’s a reflection on the meaning of kingship that’s not seen elsewhere in the Histories. Richard is also not straight and seems kind of non-binary in the versions I’ve seen and I like that. Maybe part of the reason I like both of the Richards is that I see them as not straight. I know he’s no good at being king but I love him anyway. I didn’t think he was going to die though and was rather upset; when Bolingbroke was like “convey him to the Tower” I was like “oh shit, that’s where people go to die!” I mean I know they moved locations to Pomfret castle first, but that’s when I knew what was going to happen.

Henry IV, Part I – One of my favorites. I admit that at first I didn’t like Hotspur. I admit the most offensive thing about him to me was that he says he doesn’t like poetry. He struck the kind of person I can’t stand: loud, angry, annoying, and cares about things I think are stupid. But I’ve heard some different interpretations of his character, and I saw a production where he was really endearing and that got me to really like him. He’s a true chaotic good: he cares about justice first and doesn’t care who gets in the way of it, no matter how important they are. He really doesn’t deserve to die at all. Hell, he and Hal could probably be good allies if the circumstances were different. There are some really funny parts in this and Falstaff is great, and it’s actually really insightful when he says honor is a scutcheon in a way I wouldn’t have expected from him. Prince Hal strikes me as kind of a bro but he’s definitely more sympathetic for me in this one than the other two plays he’s in.

Henry IV, Part II – Honestly not much happens in this one until the end and I’m not sure if I can forgive Hal for what he did to Falstaff. The dude was so excited to go the coronation and see him and he was just like “I know thee not, old man.” It was cold, and normally when I say that I mean it in a good way but not this time. He was basically like “fuck off and die” and that’s exactly what he did. I’m not happy about that.

Henry V – I saw a joke summary of this that said “70% armed combat, 30% jokes” and that is completely accurate. This has its moments for sure. The comic relief characters aren’t as funny as Falstaff though, and I really can’t stand Pistol and couldn’t when he was briefly in the preceding play either. There are things I like about Henry V as a character, but sometimes I question his decisions. He manages to pull it all off somehow though, and that’s impressive.

Henry VI, Part I – I love this whole tetralogy. Joan of Arc was in this and that was a pleasant and unexpected surprise. York comes off as kind of a dick though. He and Somerset are the pettiest people ever. Plus I started to get some of Margaret’s backstory, and knowing what I know now I get why she’s so done with everyone by the time of Richard III. I still don’t forgive her for everything she ever said and I still don’t think she’s 100% a victim in all of this, but to be fair it turns out she is mostly a victim in all of this, and I get that she’s a bold person who’s willing to do what it takes to come out on top and survive, and this can be both a positive and a negative quality depending on the situation.

Henry VI, Part II – This one is largely about how York and Somerset’s pettiness almost destroyed England. Aside from that, this solidified for me that I really don’t like Henry, although Margaret continued to really grow on me in this one, and I feel bad for her that she has to put up with him and basically do everything for him. In spite of this, I find their relationship to be extremely entertaining. I like the part where she punches out the Duchess of Gloucester in front of the whole court and Henry’s just like “it’s whatever, she didn’t mean it” and the part where some guy fakes a miracle and they hit him to prove he can run away and Henry’s like “how could God let this happen?” but Margaret’s like “I thought it was funny watching him run away” (and I was like SAME; she really spends this whole play saying exactly what I’m thinking at any given time, particularly when it comes to Henry) and the part where they’re running away from the battle at the end and Henry can’t keep up because of fucking course he can’t and Margaret’s like “could you be any slower?” and he’s like “maybe we should just sit here and accept our fate.” He is such a wet blanket. I spent the whole thing yelling “Henry, what is wrong with you?!” at my book. While he’s not a terrible person he is mediocre and painfully stupid and I really don’t see him as having any redeeming qualities.  Also Richard shows up for like 5 minutes at the end to collect Somerset’s head and be called an “indigested lump” by someone he just fucking met, which incidentally is the same exact thing Henry said to him. Update: I finally figured out what it is I don’t like about Henry. It’s not even what he says to Richard in the Tower (that is not even half the reason I don’t like him, but for the record even if it was the entire reason it would be an excellent reason). It’s that I see him as childish and to me that’s an extremely negative quality, though I expect it’s also what makes him endearing to some people.

Henry VI, Part III – 10/10 I love it so much, I have a strong opinion on nearly every scene. Margaret is a badass in this one, Henry continues to be an ignorant, damp slice of bread, Richard is in it, and it has my favorite scene in all of Shakespeare when he kills Henry in the Tower, and another scene I love when he says “speak thou for me and tell them what I did” and then Margaret yells at Henry and says “art thou king and wilt be forced?” and her finest moment when she kills York, and the best piece of foreshadowing I’ve ever seen when Richard says about Margaret: “why should she live to fill the world with words?” Also Edward is a fuckboy and a bad influence. I’m ashamed to share a name with him. I kind of think he died of a deadly STD; serves him right.

Richard III – Favorite Shakespeare play, best thing I’ve read in a long time, and definitely one of the top five things I’ve ever read, especially taken together with Henry VI Part 3. It’s everything tragedy should be, parts of it are extremely relatable to me personally, I’ve memorized more of both plays than I care to admit, and it’s a good thing it’s short enough that I can read it over and over because that’s exactly what I intend to do. I don’t know why reading something about someone who makes all the wrong decisions would make me feel better about my life, but I think this is exactly what Aristotle meant when he said that tragedy should be cathartic. Also Richard is definitely ace as fuck and I will fight anyone who tries to say otherwise.

Henry VIII – First of all, Katharine deserved way better. Second of all, I feel like it really glossed over the part where he created the Anglican Church just so he could divorce her. Also there was some really shameless plugging of Queen Elizabeth at the end, so I’m guessing this was written during her reign, which would explain why Henry VIII doesn’t look as bad as he does literally everywhere else I’ve seen him (update: turns out it was written later). I seem to remember that he ended up killing Anne Boleyn and that didn’t happen in this play though I was kind of waiting for it to. I’ve really never read anything this positive about him, and that’s even counting the fact that he tossed Katharine aside after seeing Anne Boleyn once at a party. And I did find out that Buckingham’s real name is Henry, although it’s not like I needed another Henry to keep track of.

TRAGEDIES

Antony and Cleopatra – I really didn’t care for this one. Cleopatra seems like kind of a stereotype to me and I’m not terribly invested in either her or Antony. Romance isn’t really my thing unless it’s super compelling for some special reason or unless I like both the characters individually. This has neither of those qualifiers.

Coriolanus – I didn’t like this very much, even though it’s about Rome. Coriolanus is not a compelling figure to me; the whole premise is that he’s good at fighting but he’s also an asshole, and neither one of those things is interesting to me. Honestly the only part of this that isn’t extremely boring is Volumnia.

Hamlet – I hadn’t read this in a really long time and didn’t remember any of it, and I liked it more than I thought I would. It’s kind of gothic in a wonderful way, even though I know that’s not an appropriate term to use for something written at the time it was written. Honestly though, my liking for Hamlet as a character was severely diminished when he started making dirty comments to Ophelia, and she seemed way more sympathetic than I remember her being. The common theme in many of these tragedies seems to be a protagonist who is lost and overwhelmed and ends up lashing out because of it. The speeches in Hamlet are the best part for me by far, but yeah. As someone who likes language and anything dark, I like it.

Julius Caesar – This I quite liked; I think Brutus is a compelling character and it raises some interesting questions. It also contains the most passive-aggressive thing I’ve ever read. Although, during Act I when Cassius is trying to convince Brutus to kill Caesar, all I hear is “Brutus is just as nice as Caesar. Brutus is just as cute as Caesar, okay, people like Brutus just as much as they like Caesar.” Honestly I think Tina Fey purposely paraphrased Cassius’s lines when writing Mean Girls, which is pretty cool. I liked it when I auditioned for it and I’ve come to really love it, having been in it. I want to see more productions of this one.

King Lear – It’s grown on me over time, I guess. I do have some strong opinions on why Cordelia is actually kind of awful. I like Edmund and Regan and Cornwall, and Goneril have their moments, but none of these characters really get enough air time for me to like the play. What there is a lot of is Lear who is just depressing on multiple levels and his fool who annoys me with his overuse of the word “nuncle” even though I know it’s fairly normal for words in English to lose an /n/ at the beginning due to our articles like how “apron” used to be “napron” until people thought “a napron” was “an apron.” And there’s a lot of Edgar and Kent and Gloucester, none of whom I’m convinced to care about even though I have nothing against them. So overall I still think it is confusing and needlessly depressing, but I am slowly warming up to it. Like, I already know life is pointless, I don’t need something to tell me that like it’s some kind of revelation.

Macbeth – I really don’t understand Macbeth as a character. You think he’d be able to say “no” to murder seeing as he has no real interest in it. I don’t find it romantic at all that he does whatever crazy thing Lady Macbeth wants. I find it kind of disturbing, and certainly not something that reflects well on him. At first it seems like Lady Macbeth should just get rid of him and do everything herself if she’s going to be like that, and I don’t understand why she can’t bring herself to kill Duncan if she wants him dead so badly, and then she loses it halfway through the play and that’s always a let-down. Also isn’t this the one that has the line where it’s like “your father’s been murdered” -“oh, by whom?” and “what, you egg”? As funny as that is it doesn’t exactly speak volumes to Macbeth as having the greatest dialogue all the time. In conclusion, I want to like this play but I really don’t get what’s wrong with either Macbeth or Lady Macbeth and so I can’t really get into it.

Othello – This was always one of my favorites. I always thought Othello and Desdemona’s relationship was really beautiful and romantic in Act I but for some reason my liking of Othello never stops me from being intrigued by what Iago’s going to do next. There’s something appealing to me about being able to always say the right thing and having the self-confidence to make everyone do what you think they should do. That said, having now seen a Shakespeare villain who is manipulative (in an extremely different sort of way) but has motives and a personality, he seems really boring by comparison. I kind of get now how he’s just a plot device, and that does make Othello an even more sympathetic character. And it’s really heartbreaking how he thinks he’s not good enough for Desdemona and has to deal with his worst fears being confirmed after he’s had so much shit to deal with already. I think anyone would break.

Romeo and Juliet - I got tired of it a long time ago and honestly it’s not that good. It’s just kind of average. I get that people have to fall in love quickly in a play that can’t just go on for 10 hours but I still can’t bring myself to care about the characters. Juliet is mildly interesting but Romeo is just a boring person and I don’t care for him at all. Plus I feel like there’s a weird age difference between them considering she’s like 13 or 14 and he’s probably like 18. I’m probably just too ace for this play but I don’t get the appeal. (Update: I’ve now been in this play and I still don’t really get it. I don’t have anything against it but it doesn’t do too much for me either. I liked being in it a whole lot, but it wouldn’t be my top choice for something I want to watch).

Timon of Athens – I feel like there was the potential for this to be a good story about someone who kept giving people material things to get them to like him to the point of running himself into the ground (ha, literally) only to discover that doing that doesn’t actually make you real friends, but it never really came together for me. So good idea, not so sure about the execution, although my book thinks that Shakespeare only wrote part of it and Thomas Middleton wrote the rest so that probably has something to do with it.

Titus Andronicus – This has its moments but it’s not as violent as I thought it would be, which is not good for something that’s known for being violent. My first big problem with it is that Chiron and Demetrius get off way too easy. I was waiting the whole play for them to die horribly only to be let down. Being baked into pies hurts Tamora, not them, and I hate them so much that I’m out of fucks to give about her. My second big problem is that Titus is a selfish piece of shit. He fucking kills Lavinia because her condition is just too painful for him. He complains that he only has 5 children left but he kills two of them himself, on stage. I like Aaron in spite of myself, or at least I like a lot of his speeches; they’re a lot of fun to read. I was surprised that he wanted his child to live even if he couldn’t take care of it personally, but I have no idea how to feel about that because on the one hand I can see how it’s a redeeming quality, and so I like that there’s some effort to humanize him, but on the other hand I wish it was done a different way because that’s not something I have any basis to understand. All this said if I had the chance to see this performed, I admittedly would.

Troilus and Cressida – I’m confused because I spent most of this thinking it took place before the events of the Iliad when actually it was pretty much a different version of the same story, which is disappointing because as much as I love the Iliad, I already have the Iliad. As for Troilus and Cressida themselves, I was rolling my eyes when she thought she had to play hard to get, but then happy when he said that was never necessary and was just happy to be with her even though she thought she was embarrassing herself by expressing her feelings for him; he didn’t shame her for it and that perception was all in her head. But then she didn’t really have any choice but to go with Diomedes, so it’s not fair for Troilus to be mad at her. Plus they only just got together and they weren’t official or anything. He’s a bit of a dumbass, to be honest, even though he and Cressida have some sweet moments. I kind of like Thersites; he seems like my kind of guy. He hates lechery, doesn’t care for war, and thinks most of the Greek generals are full of themselves, which is pretty accurate. I like that he rejects the kind of masculinity most of them embrace where they just fight in order to get women. He thinks they’re the dumbest people ever for engaging in all of that, and frankly I think it’s pretty idiotic too. However, I don’t like that he makes fun of Achilles and Patroclus for being gay. There are already so many good reasons to make fun of Achilles.

ROMANCES

Winter’s Tale – I didn’t have any strong feelings about this until the end, but now I’m wondering where Hermione was for 16 years? I guess she stayed hidden somewhere, but how did she know when the right time to come back would be? Like that was some really good timing. I mean I guess I’m glad Leontes got his shit and part of his family together but to me that doesn’t really make for anything particularly memorable. And I don’t recall him actually apologizing to Hermione or Perdita, so he should really get on that.

Cymbeline – I wasn’t particularly expecting to like this, but I did. It had some of the same elements of the Winter’s Tale except it was way better and I liked the characters more – don’t get me wrong, it was still really…I’m not sure what the right word is, when all the male characters are assholes and they do awful things to Imogen and then she magically forgives them at the end, but at least I felt somewhat invested in her and her brothers, and there were some funny parts, but the part with the ghosts was really weird and I don’t know what to make of it. There are some weird parts in the Romances and I’m not feeling that.

Pericles – Not quite my cup of tea but I don’t hate it. I admit I don’t really like how it takes place over, what, decades? Plus I’ve never heard of this particular Pericles in my life. I totally thought it was going to be about the Athenian statesman. But I did like that it takes place partially in the Near/Middle East, even if it’s just the parts that were part of the Greek world (I’m guessing Hellenistic). But I liked the story well enough and I like that Pericles isn’t an asshole unlike Leontes or Cymbeline, and I like how Marina and Thaisa both were just dropped on a beach somewhere and by the time Pericles finds them they’re at the top of the societies they entered, and how the guy who was going to take Marina’s virginity was really embarrassed and gave her a bunch of money and was supportive when he found out she didn’t want to.

The Tempest – I actually enjoy this and I think it’s a fun play. Caliban is hilarious and I actually like that it turns out not to be a revenge story. Sometimes it’s nice to see someone be the bigger person and have everyone live, even if it’s not cathartic in the same way. There are some really cool interpretations out there but even on the surface I find it quite entertaining and I think there’s something to be said for something that makes me happy for no reason.

[whichie]

Smile, Baby Ch. 1

summary: Adam Parrish has always been a happy child. Correction, Adam Parrish has always seemed like a happy child. In truth, he was miserable all the time, forced to smile and laugh through the pain no one else could see. When he was a baby Robert Parrish had sold his son’s misery to the witches in Fox Way for money that he later used to further his gambling addiction, instead of food for his wife and newborn child. What the witches did with Adam’s misery he didn’t know, but Adam was cursed with eternal happiness, and there was nothing he wouldn't do to break it. 

Ronan Lynch was once surrounded by love. His mother and father had had three boys, two magical, one not. Their family was a mystical one, something the villagers of Henrietta might say. Mystical. Because though the Lynch family has owned the forest known as Cabeswater for as long as anyone can remember, the family themselves have always been a mystery to them. They knew that for all it’s looks Cabeswater is more than just an ordinary forest. They knew the Lynches were more than just an ordinary family.

a/n: whoooooo! i finally finished chapter one!!!! i hope yall enjoy this au that i poured my heart and soul into, also i don't have a beta so sorry for any errors you might find :/

read it on ao3

Adam Parrish is annoyed. He’s angry. He’s ready to throw his hammer at Boyd’s head just to get him to shut up.

He doesn't do that, because Adam needs this job to pay for school, and if that means working for someone who he can't stand, then he will. Adam thinks Boyd would be a pleasant person to be around for anybody else, he’s not very demanding, he lets him take breaks, and he pays better than a blacksmith should be able to. For anybody else, he’s golden. Key word, anybody else.

 Anyone but Adam, that’s a good summary of his life. Anyone but Adam can afford to go to Aglionby, anyone but Adam can can go to that festival that’s happening because they don't have work to do, anyone but Adam can tell people to fuck off and scream in their faces. Anyone but Adam can tolerate Boyd when he’s in a talkative mood.

“...and so because of those witches, my mother thinks she’s going to meet some handsome fellow soon. That damn woman believing in all that voodoo, it’s not good for her health. And i said to her that no fellow is going to sweep her off her feet at eighty two…”

Adam tuned Boyd out and continued to work on the sword some fancy lord commissioned for his spoiled son that no doubt has a million other swords. It’s fucking grueling.

When the forge closed down for the day Adam walked as slowly home as he could get away with, he wanted to delay whatever beatings his father had in mind for him as long as possible. Instead, he thought of how much homework he needs to do tonight, and how he’s not looking forward to any of it. Adam is tired, he’s angry and tired and all he can show for it is a smile that’s perpetually on his face.

Everyone in town thinks Adam’s the sweetest kid around, they say what a nice boy and that Parish kid, always smiling, when they don't know that underneath the mask Adam is screaming at them to shut up, stop talking about him like they know him. Adam parish is unknowable.

When he entered the small, run down cottage him and his parents live in, he immediately knows that he won’t be able to quietly slip into his room unnoticed. His father has been to the inn close by tonight, no doubt drowning in ale and gambling his life away.

He sees his father at the kitchen table with his mother somberly knitting next to him. “What are you smiling at kid? What, is your life at that snooty school so great you came to rub it in?”

Adam wanted to scream, he hates that phrase. What are you smiling at? His father knows what Adam’s smiling at. Absolutely nothing. 

Robert Parrish was on his feet and in front of Adam in no time, he could see his mother in the corner of his eye, staring intently at her needles while her hands stayed stone still.

“Do you think you’re better than me? I feed you, I clothe you. Who’s roof do you sleep under every night, huh?” by now Robert has Adam by the front of his shirt, tangling his fist in Adam’s hair and pulling. “Ungrateful little shit.”

Adam was pushed on the floor and so many words are bubbling up to the surface now. He wanted to cry, he wanted to punch, he wanted to yell and fight back and say look what you did, this is your fault, you no good gambling drunk- 

The words caught in his throat, like they always do, so close to the surface he feels like he’s going to explode with the force of it.

Adam doesn't say anything. He smiles and smiles through every punch his father gives him, and when it's over he limps to his room and wishes he could cry.

Aglionby Academy is where rich kids go to fuck around and spend their parent’s money, it’s where Richard Campbell Gansey III sits on his throne, and it’s the closest thing Adam has to a home. How pathetic.

Richard Gansey is the most confusing person he has ever met. He’s a king within the walls of the academy, everyone knows him, everyone loves him, and yet Adam has never seen Gansey be rude to a single person. He’s constantly trying to befriend Adam, which is the most confusing thing of all, and is the only person Adam has ever met that can stand Ronan Lynch’s bullshit.

Ronan, on his part, doesn't seem to acknowledge Adam’s existence at all, which is fine by him. Adam doesn’t want the validation of another self entitled rich boy.

He also has heard of the things the villagers in town say about Ronan and his family, how they're a bunch of magic users that take people into their forest and kill them. Adam thinks it’s a bunch of shit that the housewives tell their children so that they don't wander into the woods and get hurt, but he also can't help but wonder if it’s actually true. Ronan’s attitude certainly hasn't helped lift the rumors, quite the opposite in fact.

Adam was walking into the academy when he first heard it, the sounds of rustling leaves like whispers. He looked around to see if anyone was messing with him, but all of the kids were going about their business as usual. He turned to go back inside, but the thought wouldn't leave him that there were no trees this deep into town.

The next time it happened Adam was in class, it was harder to brush it off this time since he wasn't outdoors where the wind would naturally blow. He paused in what he was writing to listen more carefully, and he swears he could almost hear words being spoken along with the rustling. He chalked it up to not getting enough sleep, and then went back to his paper.

He was in Boyd’s forge next when he heard the distinct sound of whispers in Latin mixed with leaves blowing in the wind. Or maybe the whispers were the leaves rustling, Adam couldn’t quite tell.

He can now distinctly make out a couple of words here and there, but nothing he could use to make sense of it all. It also wasn't as easy to ignore now than it was earlier in the day, and he found himself almost burning his fingers off on the hot metals he’s working with.

Boyd seemed to notice how distracted he was, and told Adam to leave early, “I won’t be having you mess up an order just because you’re head’s in the clouds.”

He tried to protest, say that he was fine to work, but Boyd wasn't having any of it, and he eventually left the forge before it was even nightfall.

On his way home, the whispers and rustling grew louder and louder, until he could make out what was being said.

Come this way, follow me.

And now Adam was seriously doubting his mental health, he must be having delusions because of the stress. Why else would he be hearing things that he shouldn't possibly be hearing?

Come to the woods, follow the line.

And it seemed like it should be the craziest thing ever, to just listen to the voice in his head to go into a creepy forest by himself, but in the moment it wasn't all that ridiculous. He could see a faint blue glow of something on the ground going in the direction of the tree line, and before his brain could even register it, he was moving.

Distantly, he wonders how his father would react when he will no doubt be coming home late. He wonders if his father will even notice, or be conscious at all for that matter, to see Adam sneaking in through the only door.

He stopped when he reached the trees, sudden trepidation was crawling into his chest. This is private property, and Adam is going to just waltz right in.

His caution didn't last long when a strong breeze tore through the forest and caused the trees to move unnaturally, like they're reaching out for him encouragingly, and not in the creepy way that he would have expected.

He slowly put one foot forward, and when someone didn't pop out from behind a bush to cart him off to the jail for trespassing, he continued on.

The setting sun was casting a soft light onto the canopy above him, and Adam walked with a look of awe on his face. The deeper he went the bigger, twistier, and older the trees got, like if he went far enough he could find the grandfather tree of them all.

The blue line that he’s been following has been getting more and more visible the farther he walks, and it suddenly disappeared when he entered a clearing that could be nothing other than a farm.

Standing in front of the sprawling farmhouse was none other than Ronan Lynch himself with an uncharacteristic look of  anticipation and nervousness, and when he noticed Adam approaching, he huffed out a bewildered laugh and looked up into the tops of the trees.

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

[atlas-evolves]

it's the book anon, lol. i'm too shy to come off anon, but i'm glad you appreciate my messages! i'll message you more, then! :) why don't you do everyone in trc for that ask thing?

awwww!!!!!!!!!!! thats okay, love!!!! and yeah, feel free to do this anytime, even if it’s not about books!!!! ily!!!

Blue Sargent

 Why I like them: she’s a badass female character that doesn’t take any boy’s bullshit. also, she works really hard to achieve her dreams and she’s really resilient. also her fashion sense? amazing. i aspire to be her, tbh. also she’s short like me lol

Why I don’t: okay, it’s not even something i don’t like about her, because i sorta do? but it’s kinda off-putting how cliché her character is? like she’s the only one in her family that isn’t a psychic, but she’s a ~mirror~. i love cliché things tho….. so it’s conflicting?

·         Favorite line: “I just want to pretend. I want to pretend I could.” / “It should be so.” / Every fight she had with Adam, tbh.

·         OTP: bluesy, duh.

·         Brotp: ronan/blue….idk what the ship name is but their friendship is the reason i breathe tbh.

·         Head Canon: idk…. i like her canon enough lmao like i don’t think i have any?

·         Unpopular opinion: probably the thing i wrote above lmao

·         A wish: that she lives a long, happy life and goes to costa rica and fulfills all of her dreams

·         An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: she changes anything about her ever

·         5 words to best describe them: feminist, aesthetic, hardworking, funny, badass

·         My nickname for them: i don’t have one

Richard “Dick” Campbell Gansey III

·         Why I like them: he is the greatest friend ever? he cares so much about his friends and he’s just so…. so good to them. he’s also so smart and so driven to do the things he wants to do and i admire him so much for that. also he can be That Bitch when he needs to be and i live for it. all his fucking quirks it’s beautiful.  i relate to his anxious ass lmao his fashion sense kills me too.

·         Why I don’t: the! motherfucking! will-he-die-shit! i haven’t finished the raven king and i’m lowkey pulling my hair out every time i read a scene with him in it.

·         Favorite line: “I believe I’m having a panic attack.” / “I like you an awful lot, Blue Sargent.” / The whole duck scene / “Crushed and broken. Just the way women like ‘em.” / “Safe as life.”

·         OTP: bluesey

·         Brotp: god……………………………………. the trio, tbh. i live for their friendship. don’t make me choose between them.

·         Head Canon: i have this very specific head canon for how his voice sounds but idk how to describe it

·         Unpopular opinion: idk?

·         A wish: that he lives happily,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, please………………

·         An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: having him die,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

·         5 words to best describe them: driven, anxious, king, leader, fighter

·         My nickname for them: none?

Ronan Lynch

·         Why I like them: where do i start………………………………. god. first of all how much he loves his family and his friends. like he would literally die for them and holy fuck he’s so fucking sweet. like he masks it with this harsh exterior but like??? he gave adam lotion, he paid his rent. he goes to church every sunday to see his brother. he wrote “remembered” on noah’s car over “murdered” i cried tbh. he didn’t kill kavinsky the first time he saw him?  he dreamt up a fucking baby raven, named it chainsaw, and raised that thing. fucking angel. but he’s also a huge asshole? also how fucking Dramatic he is, because same. i just…… really relate to this asshole so much.

·         Why I don’t: okay…… so when he dreamt that night and almost died….. he let gansey and everyone let him thing that he killed himself…….. and then liked joked about it………. like i get his reasoning and like i totally understand it all, but as someone whose struggled with suicide and shit…. it just wasn’t cool to read that.

·         Favorite line: everything he says is perfect tbh but…. “You’re already dead!” / “Thanks Parrish, I like your face, too.” / “It makes you look like a loser.” / “There was never a you and me.” / “Jesus Mary Fuck!” / “You’re just jealous because you didn’t find one, too.” / “I’m being perfectly fucking civil.” / “Don’t fucking swear.” / “Maybe I dreamt you.” / “Gansey’s partying with his mother. And Noah’s fucking dead. But Parrish is here.”

·         OTP: pynch…………..rovinsky (kill me tbh but like….. i ship it)

·         Brotp: gansey/ronan, and blue/ronan, i live for their friendships tbh also!!! noah/ronan, i think that’s my fave

·         Head Canon: i have this head canon (that’s basically canon) but if any of his friends, even if they’re not adam, need something, he’ll dream it for them and hide it somewhere they’ll find it. also this is also canon but when he moves to the barns he dreams a shit ton of animals and will text pictures of them to adam gansey and blue all the time and that he makes his animals a meme and everyone loves it. also trans ronan is my fucking shit

·         Unpopular opinion: tbh…. idk

·         A wish: he lives a long, happy life as a farmer with his beautiful husband and adoptive daughter i’m waiting for the dreamer trilogy to kill me

·         An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: pls….. don’t hurt my son or his friends……… keep everyone safe.

·         5 words to best describe them: asshole, dramatic, caring, strong, honest

·         My nickname for them: nothing, yo

Adam Parrish

·         Why I like them: where the fuck do i even………. ok so like adam is so fucking strong, okay? he stayed at an abusive household, didn’t accept charity, and stuck to his principles. that shit is so fucking hard. and when it came down to it, he stuck up for himself, and got his father in trouble, and accepted his friends help, which in some ways is harder. and he’s so driven, working multiple jobs to pay for food and school and rent, going to a private school school and getting A’s because he knows that he has to work hard to achieve what he wants. and he’s intuitive. he knows that ronans crushing on him, he figured out that gansey was destined to die, and he’s just….. so smart. And he’s!!!! bisexual. love that representation.

·         Why I don’t: okay…. so like, i understand sticking to your principles, but……. there’s a time where it’s totally acceptable to not. and when you’re fucking able to leave an abusive household, that’s a pretty good fucking reason. Granted, he did eventually, but he could’ve don’t it a lot sooner. he’s just a little shortsighted, i guess? Ironic, lmao. also, his callouts (like with blue, when telling ronan he knew he paid the rent, etc.) is appreciated, because he isn’t taking bullshit, he could… handle them better.

·         Favorite line: “That’s this biggest lie you’ve ever told.” (GET REKT) /  all his exchanges with ronan tbh / “I’d like to press charges.” / “Nobody knows what [enter long word here] means, Gansey.” / all his callouts with blue

·         OTP: pynch

·         Brotp: gansey/adam

·         Head Canon: I have very specific headcanons for him but like………. idk it’s too long

·         Unpopular opinion: binch idk

·         A wish: he lives a happy, long life with his famer boyfriend and adoptive daughter.

·         An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: just let my son be happy, alright? Happy and safe

·         5 words to best describe them: a mess, motivated, sad, intuitive, angry

·         My nickname for them: idk??

Noah Czerny

·         Why I like them: He’s literally so cute and sweet??? But also??? kinda terrifying. A+

·         Why I don’t: Because I’m halfway through trk and idk whats happening with him

·         Favorite line: “He threw me out the window!” / “Glitter! Whoops!” / “I’ve been dead for seven years.” / “I’ve told you I was dead. I’m dead.” / all his interactions with blue rip

·         OTP: god…. i don’t ship him romantically with anyone???

·         Brotp: Ronan/Noah // Blue/ Noah

·         Head Canon: like with everyone they’re too specific rip

·         Unpopular opinion: That he’s Good? idk

·         A wish: that he does whatever the hell he wants

·         An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: he passes on? does he? Don’t tell me

·         5 words to best describe them: cute, scary, eccentric, gullible, creative

·         My nickname for them: none

 Joseph Kavinsky

·         Why I like them: i just love him, alright? he’s garbage, i know. but like……… you can tell he’s been through a lot in life, and who wouldn’t be fucked up after their dad tried to murder them? and he’s very… gung-ho about everything i love it. and how blunt he is? live for it.

·         Why I don’t: he could…. Not use homophobic slurs. Lmao dude, ur gay af, u can stop.

·         Favorite line: “It’s either with me or against me.” / tbh all his shots at gansey/ronan being together / that exchange with ronan when he was talking about his past

·         OTP: god………………………… lavinsky…………….. shoot me i know. also him and proko.

·         Brotp: him and proko…. And lavinsky tbh.

·         Head Canon: i have a lot riperoni

·         Unpopular opinion: he’s a Good character. Maybe not a good person, but…..

·         A wish: him not being dead would be pretty great.

·         An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: the worst has already happened so wtf else could tear me down? (this is not an invitation………..)

·         5 words to best describe them: gay, blunt, asshole, sad, jealous

·         My nickname for them: none

 Henry Cheng

·         Why I like them: Because he’s so nice to everyone? Like he helps Blue at school when they fake that fight. He offered to fly places with her. And all his interactions with Gansey? A+

·         Why I don’t: I literally don’t know if I trust him or not? Like I’m sure I can but that thing with the robot bee? Rude.

·         Favorite line: Honestly…. Every line he says is iconic. / “Life is a show.” / the interaction with gansey in blue lily, lily blue / the interaction with gansey in the Aglionby hidey hole

·         OTP: i don’t ship him romantically with anyone rip

·         Brotp: him and gansey also him and blue tbh

·         Head Canon: don’t have any tbh

·         Unpopular opinion: Idk

·         A wish: that he’s happy and stops being fucking…………. mysterious.

·         An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: that he fucks everyone over? (please don’t tell me if he does or doesn’t but like………… pls henry)

·         5 words to best describe them: helpful, funny, charitable, dramatic, eccentric

·         My nickname for them: none