#nuingiliath

[shredsandpatches]

like a well-regulated abbey or ghosts of departed quantities, please? 🥺

Secret for Ghosts of Departed Quantities: All of the rude things Henry remembers his father saying about his psoriasis are, verbatim, things my mother has said to me about mine.

Secret for Like a Well-Regulated Abbey: well, I've already told everyone the boring story of how I got reamed on yuletide_coal for this fic, and not even because of the fic but because of the tags and someone who recognized me and whose friendship with me had just ended disastrously. Also, I've got all the birthdates wrong and hadn't realized that the story of Mary and Henry's imaginary first son had been debunked, but that's not secret because you can see them if you just, you know, read the fic.

So here, because I didn't actually link it in the notes, here's a recording of the "Nay, Ivy, nay" song I used in it.

[richmond-rex]

The what if scenario with Margaret Beaufort and Teen Henry Tudor visiting Elizabeth Woodville, please?

Hi! Thanks for the ask ❤️ 

The idea behind this story was to explore Margaret’s feelings and thoughts during the Readeption: the reunion with her son (she had not seen him in five years), and her anxiety and fears as she realises her cousin King Henry is no longer fit to rule and Edward IV is still out there and can possibly sweep the country to his side again. I wanted to bring Margaret and Elizabeth together because it is a scenario where, contrary to them working together during the 1483 crisis, the former’s good fortune is the same as the latter’s downfall. Here goes an excerpt:

The truth must be spoken plainly to one’s soul if not out loud: her royal cousin had shrivelled, no more fortitude could be found in him than in the husk of a hollow tree ravaged by the wind. Standing next to Archbishop Neville, Margaret had found a distance swimming — almost overflowing — in his eyes, one that seemed to be no more stranger to him than a constant companion. Years spent as a prisoner in the Tower could do that to a man, Margaret reckoned, years spent in imprisonment could do that to any man, especially one kept in less dignity than his royal birth commanded — the Lord’s anointed no less, another Son of Man thrown into the litter of scorn. 

My problem with this WIP (and why I haven’t been able to finish it) is that I can’t seem to figure out the dialogue order (how to make it a crescendo in terms of tension). I know how I want to finish this story but I haven’t been able to get there (wah). Again, thanks for sending this ask :) 🌹x

WIP ask

[ardenrosegarden]

reverse unpopular opinion: constance did nothing wrong and richard i was just a shitlord

You know what? Honestly, yeah.

I could play devil’s advocate here and make a case for Richard’s position with his brother and Philip II but 1.) it’s real reverse popular opinion hours 2.) I still don’t think that excuses what Richard did and how he chose to move forward.

Honestly, I can’t believe Ranulf would’ve kidnapped Constance himself if he didn’t know he would have Richard backing him up, and I think to believe Richard didn't want Constance out of the way or help plan it is just naïve.

There are two larger arguments I tend to hear that Richard was unhappy that Constance didn’t let Arthur grow up in the English Court so he had to take him by force and that he was unhappy that Constance made Arthur duke without consulting him.  In either case...being angry that she made either of these decisions was considered an insultingly massive overreach of Richard’s power; while he was their overlord, he was not Duke of Brittany and there was a reason none of the Plantagenet kings could ever title themselves as such- because Brittany would go into open revolt.

That compounded with refusing to let Constance and the other hostages go as he originally agreed as well as the damage his men and mercenaries caused, I really can’t see how Richard was in the right here.

[feuillesmortes]

it's your birthday? HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Indeed it is 🤗🤗 thank you so much ❤️ you’re a darling! xx

[beardofkamenev]

OTP meme, Catherine/Owen: 7, 16, 26 and 47.

AJKLDFJJDJKJKSJDKFAJKS THIS IS MY TIME TO SHINE!

7. Who comes up with the cheesy pick-up lines?

Owen for sure. While Catherine probably made the ‘first move’ in their relationship, she’s much too dignified to use cheesy pick-up lines on Owen lol. Historically, Catherine was a patron of poets such as John Lydgate, so I think she would take a more romantic approach to these things (an early copy of Lydgate’s Temple of Glas describes the poem as “a very pleasant dream made at the request of a lover” — with the “lover” possibly referring to Catherine). I can imagine Owen purposely trying to get under her skin by bombarding her with cheesy pick-up lines, which she pretends to hate but secretly loves.

16. Who reminds the other to put on sunscreen before going to the beach (or pool)?

Catherine. I feel that having already been widowed once, Catherine would be very overprotective of her new husband. Gotta protect him from the melanoma! Also, I think women in general are more fastidious about things like skincare and applying sunblock? A lot of guys I know don’t give a fuck about sunblock because of perceived notions of “strength” and “manliness”, which is dumb because you will never be stronger than UV rays lol. But societal expectations regarding conformity to gender roles would have been much more enforced in the 15th century, especially for men like Owen. And sun in Wales compared to France? That man definitely didn’t apply sunblock without his wife forcing him to.

26. Who puts the fork in the microwave?

Hhhhhhhh. I find it hard to believe that anyone who does this would survive to adulthood lol (then again, my first flatmate did this and she’s still in the gene pool last time I checked). If I had to pick out of the two, I think Catherine would be the more likely to do this? Perhaps she accidentally left a fork in the microwave the first time she used it because she was a ~princess and a ~queen so was used to an army of servants doing everything for her. Owen, on the other hand, was her former servant so he’d definitely know how to operate a microwave properly.

47. Who says I love you first? How did it happen?

MY HEART. Tbh, I can actually imagine both of them being the first to say it? The little we know about Owen’s personality suggests he was rather bold and wasn’t just a meek and mild servant (well, he definitely wasn’t if he married THE QUEEN). And in Temple of Glas, he’s the one who gathers the courage to speak to Catherine. Personally though, I think Catherine was more likely to have told him she loved him first. There was a huge status and power imbalance between them, and I don’t think that some random Welsh servant could have gotten away with making romantic advances towards the Dowager Queen of England if he wasn’t sure of her feelings first.

As for how it happened, I assume it happened in private with no one else around? Perhaps it happened as Elis Gruffydd suggested, during a secret nighttime rendezvous with Catherine dressed incognito. In those circumstances, I guess there could be absolutely no doubt from either of them that their love was reciprocated <3

(The OTP ask meme is still open!)

[nebylitsa]

what (besides Dracula) are some of your favourite gothic books? What are the sexiest? Is there a difference between the two lists? 🧐

thanks for the ask! <3

i havent read all the famous gothic novels yet, but aside from dracula, my other top favorite one is frankenstein. i also have some favorite gothic short stories: “viy” by nikolai gogol, as well as “the fall of the house of usher,” “the masque of the red death,” “a descent into the maelstrom,” and “the oval portrait,” all by edgar allan poe. as a side note, alexander pushkin wrote some gothic-adjacent stuff that i really love - the short story “the queen of spades,” and four short plays known as “little tragedies.”

in terms of sexiness... thats a good question. certainly THE sexiest piece of gothic fiction is dracula. i find it funny when people are like “sexy vampires are a modern invention! the original vampires were NOT attractive!!!” because first of all, pretty much every dracula movie since 1931 contains sexual undertones. (whats a bit newer is the idea of the sympathetic/romantic vampire, of which the 1979 frank langella dracula is the earliest significant example, and the romantic vampire who is also a good guy or at least morally conflicted about their vampirism, which didnt originate with twilight but thats the major example of it that im familiar with.) and second of all, even the novel itself is pretty damn sexy??? bram stoker may not have meant it as a positive thing, but its... definitely there. the vampires may be described as scary and weird-looking and gross-smelling, but jonathan’s encounter with the brides? or dracula’s face being described at one point as “cruel and sensual”? or vampire lucy’s “languorous, voluptuous grace”? or the fact that dracula forces mina to drink his blood from a gash in his BARE CHEST and not like, his arm or something? absolutely horny on main. (which is why it might sound weird to say that im interested in asexual readings of this novel, but there you have it. dracula contains multitudes.)

as for other sexy gothic novels/stories - wuthering heights is pretty damn sexy, i admit begrudgingly. i have a tumultuous love-hate relationship with this book, which is fitting, i guess; it genuinely enrages and tires me but at the same time i get the urge to reread it every once in a while. (and i have to say, gothic romance doesnt get much better than “You said I killed you – haunt me, then! [...] Be with me always – take any form – drive me mad! only do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you! Oh, God! it is unutterable! I cannot live without my life! I cannot live without my soul!”) so im not sure if its on my list of favorite gothic novels but it certainly is on the list of sexiest ones!

out of the other stuff i mentioned, i guess poe also qualifies, but more in a “catching a glimpse of a beautiful, consumptive-looking young person / being tormented by horrific visions / dancing a slow waltz with the personification of death while wearing layers of fancy restricting clothes” kind of way. also, pushkin’s (admittedly only marginally gothic) “mozart and salieri” (from the little tragedies) is kinda sexy because its basically just “the inherent homoeroticism of developing an envious obsession with a young pretty boy-genius composer, inviting him to dinner in order to secretly poison him, and weeping when he plays the piano for you.”

[skeleton-richard]

I was checking Tracy Adams' Isabeau book and she makes a comment that Catherine was conceived during one of Charles VI's periods of madness - she was conceived late January/early February in 1401 and Charles had a "crisis" from 19 Jan-25 Feb. I don't know what to make of that, given the reports of his behaviour towards her during these periods (not saying that it was non-consensual or Catherine was the result of the adultery, it's just kinda exploding my mind right now) :\\

Hmmmmmm,,,,,,,,

I don’t know either. @princess-of-france, you’re our Catherine person, any thoughts?

Maybe he was briefly fine for a short time during that episode?

[harry-leroy]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Thank you so much, Lisa!! ❤️ I appreciate the well-wishes 😊

[shredsandpatches]

🌹🌹🌹!

Richard's eyes widen, and his face falls; he looks as though he's been stabbed, and Anne wants to cry, wants to throw her arms around him and tell him she didn't mean it, she wants him to stay, and they can make love the way they usually do and then sleep in one another's arms all night, but before she can say any of this he's standing up and putting his robe back on. He looks as though he's going to be sick.

[richmond-rex]

🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹!

Hello ♥♥ I thought I could give you a glimpse of the second chapter of Four Kings, Five Scenes. I haven’t got much of this chapter written yet (mostly dialogue) so here’s a small excerpt. It is set on August 1410.

send me a “🌹” to receive one random sentence of a random WIP

Winchester’s wish was to crumple Arundel’s mandate inside his hand, squeeze it, close his fist tight enough until there was nothing left of that piece of parchment but an undecipherable wrinkly sheet, all blurred lines and ink. That would not do. That would not do at all. He slammed his closed fist against the surface of his writing desk, pounded it twice more. Damn him. Damn them all. Wreaking scenarios where the bishop called down God’s fury to strike down his enemies played on his mind as he reached for the silver bell. Over and over he rang it, shook it loud enough to give himself tinnitus. He rang it like a madman, rang it like a drowning sailor trying to keep himself afloat. Damn them all! 

One of his pages appeared at last, cautiously stepping into the room. The boy’s face could barely conceal his bewilderment. “My lord?”

“Send for the Prince of Wales!”

The boy hesitated. “Should we bring him here, my lord? All the way down from Westminster?”

Winchester fixed him with a bilious look, two eyes narrowed over the length of a strong aquiline nose. “I do not care if the prince is on the other side of the river or across the channel.” He spoke through gritted teeth. “Bring. Him. Here.” His fist slammed his desk anew. “Now!”

As the boy bowed and scurried to leave the room, there was only one half-formed thought prowling on the bishop’s mind: how dare he, how dare he, how dare he.

x

[ardenrosegarden]

for the character asks if you're still taking them: john duke of bedford!

favorite thing about them: He’s a morally grey character and a wonderfully talented schemer, but also very very attached to the well-being of his family. least favorite thing about them: I think he’s prone to black-and-white thinking and cognitive dissonance. favorite line:

Not to be gone from hence; for once I read That stout Pendragon in his litter sick Came to the field and vanquished his foes: Methinks I should revive the soldiers' hearts, Because I ever found them as myself.

brOTP: With his brothers! OTP: N/A nOTP: I don’t think he gets shipped a lot? So I don’t think I’ve seen any ships floating around that have rubbed me the wrong way.  random headcanon: That boy is ace af unpopular opinion: idk he’s a good boi and I love him song i associate with them: Heart Heavy by Mother Mother favorite picture of them:

[feuillesmortes]

I saw your post about Cardinal Beaufort but didn't have the chance to respond and now it's gone :( But anyway, he is very petty and his relationship with his nephews is fascinating too and I get to write (some) of that when I get around to writing the Eleanor Conham novel. :D

Oh, I thought it was tumblr being tumblr again and not sending you the notification! But yes, I think there are so many layers to that relationship, and of course, it shifts depending on the nephew. I’ve been fascinated for a time now about his, almost sort of partnership with Bedford? 

Like on that infamous episode of the London Bridge barricade, Gloucester and (then bishop) Beaufort raising their own armies etc, and Bishop Beaufort goes on to write to Bedford for help — ‘my right noble and after one, levest lord, I recommend me unto you with all my harte’, appealing to Bedford’s desire of good governance and perhaps a shared opinion regarding his brother — ‘suche a brother you have here, God make him a good man’ — which denotes a certain type of closeness, at least, to be talking so openly about his brother (his political superior) with such frankness. The fact that Bedford personally gave him his cardinal hat, or that the cardinal sought to appease the Duke of Burgundy when Bedford and the duke were on bad terms, although politically motivated actions, I think they don’t exclude the fact that they had a partnership of sorts. I don’t know, I think it’s easier to think about the cardinal being close to his nephew Edmund Beaufort (who probably lived with him in his episcopal palace for a time), but there’s this relationship with Bedford and also the fact that apparently he didn’t resent Henry V for denying him his cardinalate at the end of his life but obstinately left Clarence and Gloucester out of his will. It’s so multifaceted, it’s fascinating. I’m sure it will be a very fun thing to write! ❤︎x

[beardofkamenev]

17, 20 (>_>) and 27!

Thanks for the ask!

17. What historical item would you like to own?

Ooooooooh this is hard! Tbh, it never entered my mind that I would own a historical item. I’d love to own Les Très Riches Heures du Duc de Berry (I have an entire tag devoted to drooling over the pretty colours), but no conservator in their right mind would let me handle a medieval manuscript. The Goldenes Rössl (Little Golden Horse Shrine) has also been living rent free in my mind ever since I first laid my peasant eyes upon it:

LOOK AT IT. LOOK UPON ITS GLORIOUS GLORIOUSNESS.

You probably already know this because it’s Isabeau-related, but here’s the Wiki description anyway:

The Little Golden Horse [given to Charles VI of France by Isabeau of Bavaria in 1404] is the single surviving documented étrennes of the period. Weighing 26 pounds (12 kg), the gold piece is encrusted with rubies, sapphires and pearls. It depicts Charles kneeling on a platform above a double set of stairs, presenting himself to the Virgin Mary and child Jesus, who are attended by John the Evangelist and John the Baptist. A jewel encrusted trellis or bower is above; beneath stands a squire holding the golden horse.

It’s definitely sturdier than a manuscript and I can use it as a paperweight or something.

20. Who, if anyone, is your historical crush?

Answered here ;)

27. What’s your favourite historical “What if…�� scenario?

MORE HARD QUESTIONS. Maybe “What if Prince Arthur lived?” But that’s so #basic and I just like, don’t give a shit about Henry VIII’s reign lol. Maybe “What if Henry V didn’t die early?” You’d have to wonder whether the English would have lost all their French territories under his rule, or if the Wars of the Roses would have even happened. The Tudor dynasty almost certainly wouldn’t have happened, since Catherine de Valois wouldn’t have been widowed so young and therefore wouldn’t have married Owen Tudor the Ultimate Medieval Stud. I’ve also sometimes wondered “What if Edmund Tudor didn’t die young?” It’s universally agreed upon that he was a shit, but I’m curious as to how Margaret Beaufort and Henry VII’s lives would have turned out if he had lived longer (would he have been attainted like his brothers? Most likely), or whether Henry would have even become king had he not died and freed Maggie B up to marry Thomas Stanley.

(The history ask meme is still open!)

[thewritingpossum]

Do you think Edward II survived past 1327? The more I read about it, the more I think it's possible but I always get hung up on how unlikely those sorts of "secretly escaped death" stories tend to be...

Eh dear! Sorry for the super long delay, this week has been…A lot, lol. I’m even more sorry because I feel I ramble a lot to see few things but oh well, what’s new under the sun? I hope you’ll still find it interesting :)

(loong answer under)

I’d say that there’s some fairly good basis for the theory: I don’t think it comes from nowhere. The fact that Edmund of Woodstock himself believed that his brother could still be alive could very well indicate something, as does the Fieschi Letter. The fact that no one apparently ever saw Edward’s dead body is also highly suspcious, as I feel like Isabella and Roger Mortimer would have probably liked to clear any possible doubt and show that the King was indeed dead. So yeah, I understand why this theory became somehow popular and some of my favorite historians seems to believe in it, at least to an extent. As for myself…Not so much.

I still think that all the elements I just mentioned are noteworthy, but I don’t think any of them are strong enough of an evidence for me to believe in it. Edmund was apparently influenced by Roger Mortimer who pretty much wanted to give him enough rope to hang himself by getting proof of his treachery. I also feel that (and that’s pure speculations on my part), I believe that Edmund, who was not at all a constant person, who was shifting to new political allegances and who had, after all, betrayed his King and brother at some point just before his death may have latched on the idea that Edward was not really dead because it gave him a change to redeem himself: insteand of being another traitor, he would have been the savior bringing back his big brother to his throne. I can easily see the appeal that would have on a grieving man dealing with an incredibly fucked up and unstable political situation and I don’t think that means much. 

The Fieschi Letter may have been a simple attempt to discredit Edward III. And as for the body… Medieval people had ways to embalm bodies, of course, but even today moving a body without any refrigeration is pretty much always a case of hoping for the best so it may have just been that by the time he reached Gloucester, it may just not have been in a state that allowed an open casket funeral. Not a very pleasant image but not a very hard to believe one either, as far as I’m concerned.

Furthermore, I just have a hard time beliving that Edward could have get away with living in hiding for, idk, 20 years or however many years he’s supposed to have gotten. By the time he lost his crown he was almost in his mid 40’s and had been king  for twenty years. I just don’t think that someone who was used to that level of privilege could have been integrated in an even somehow efficient way. I do believe that Edward, who probably spoke english and frequently interacted with his people would have been more prepared for it than let’s say Richard II (poor boy would have survived about 3 seconds) but even if being the king was often more a curse than a blessing for him, there’s no doubt he believed that rulling was his god-given right and that said god had decided to put thim in this role. I can’t imagine him just giving that up and never looking back, especially during the first years of Edward III’s reign, when Roger Mortimer and Isabella were clearly pulling the strings.

On an even more basic, less serious and more emotional level, I don’t really want to believe in that theory because I don’t find it to really be a happy ending or even an happier ending than what Edward is believed to have got. I mean, I don’t think getting murdered in prison is good and fun but I absolutely don’t believe in the hot poker theory so I always believed that he was probably either poisoned or, most likely, strangled (maybe after being drugged in a way or another: Edward was still a strong man at the time of his death and if you want to be sure that there won’t be any fight/traces on the body, you better take precaution) which, as far as I’m concerned, is not really the worst way to go: at least when done properly, it’s fairly quick. 

Gloomy, I know, but I mean…What’s the alternative? 20 years or more cut from anyone he ever known or love, completely powerless when it came to decisions regarding his one children (honestly, he would have cut off his right hand with a rusty knife before marrying his daughter witing the Scottish nobility as far as I’m concerned), most likely forced to live a life of calm penance in a monastary…No, I really don’t think Edward would have find much happiness in this life and for that alone, I’ll always kill him at the end of my own hf even if that makes me cry a little.

So here’s my boring, vague answer: I don’t personally believe in it and won’t until presented with more evidence but I also don’t think it’s absurd and won’t dismiss a book just for using it :)

[skeleton-richard]

I learnt recently that Roger Mortimer (of Isabella of France fame) is descended from Welsh royalty so where's his magical Welsh woo-woo novel? (Also, given Eleanor is descended from him, where's her magical Welsh woo-woo novel?!)

Oh my God. Oh my God. OHhhh my Goddddd.

I did not know any of that. And yes where is the Welshaboo novel where he (via power inherited from his mother natch) uses Ancient Cetlic Magicks in the rebellion? And Eleanor, remember I asked about something similar since she was imprisoned on the Isle of Mann, which is one of the six Celtic nations? Because she’s descended from the Welsh, she’s got Ancient Celtic Magicks that are activated by being in another Celtic nation.

Also correct me if I’m wrong but usually in those novels isn’t Wales always the good guys? Which would cause some issues if you’re trying to go with the witch!Eleanor angle.

[harry-leroy]

headcanon meme: 9, 16, 17, 18 and 19 for Henry VI, please and thank you! :)

Hi! Thank you so much for the ask! And an even bigger thank you for being so incredibly patient with me on response time. I’ve been trying to adjust to a new schedule and it’s been presenting its challenges, so I really appreciate you being so kind to wait. That being said, you gave me some real angsty prompts, so I hope you’re ready for angst (who ever is with this beautiful kid? *I ask the universe*). Most of these will be under a cut (they got long). I also apologize if I’ve lost some of the historical accuracy in this. Henry is totally my kid, but all of my attention has been on Edgar recently so I feel like I forgot things… (time to brush up on my Wars of the Roses knowledge again). Anyway, enjoy! 

9. Humiliating Memories

This boy probably has way too many - more than he should have, given all of the unrealistic and contradictory expectations put on him from everyone else in his court. Because Henry is sensitive, he’d feel like any time that someone was gently correcting him that he’d done everything wrong. He’d probably want to cry taking any sort of criticism for a long time. Margaret and Humphrey help with this, because Henry does not need to be that hard on himself. One probably mildly humiliating memory was when he dressed up as a squire so he could go see Margaret for the first time. I could see Humphrey catching him afterwards and being like “what are you doing in those clothes”. It was probably an extremely awkward meeting too, probably because Henry was so awestruck with Margaret, and Margaret was still recovering from seasickness at that point. He probably wanted to rip off his disguise and leap into her arms, but alas, he had to keep it a surprise. Another one (probably more angsty) was when he started to hear Yorkist rumors that his son was a bastard, because he knew it wasn’t true, and so did Margaret. However, he was so wracked out at that point that it might have been one of the last things on his mind. He knew Edward was his son, and so did God, so York didn’t matter at that point.

16. Dark secrets/’skeletons in the closet’

I don’t feel like he has any secrets - or at least dark ones anyway. He tells everything to God, then to Margaret because he trusts those two with his life (and Humphrey too of course, before he died - and before the whole witchcraft thing). What he probably hides well is how terrified he is all the time. People can often see how tense he is, but they’ll never know the hell he has had to go through his entire life. It eventually causes a terrifying breakdown, and even then that’s something that Henry has to suffer through alone. All these different people want to be king? Fine, but you have no idea how much it’ll break you. Another “secret” I suppose was how much he loved his mother, even when she was taken away from him. How much more comfortable he would feel if she were there. She’d tell him how much Hal believes in Henry, and is looking down upon him every day with love. It would’ve been a great comfort to him. And eventually how much he cares for his half-brothers, which isn’t so much a secret later, but he’s not just keeping them at court for obligatory reasons, he actually cared for them so, so much.

17. Regrets

Oh my goodness, so many. He has regrets he doesn’t need to carry on his shoulders, but he does anyway. He regrets not fighting in battle, like his father had. Although, there wasn’t much that could be done to change that - he was the sole heir of the Lancastrian line. It wasn’t like he had three brothers like his father did. His father, in the line of battle was somewhat disposable, but Henry is all England has (and that scares the living daylights out of him). He regrets not being there for the birth of his only son, his only child. If he’d been well, he would’ve probably been right at Margaret’s side (even though that might be slightly out of custom). He probably regrets his entire illness, and probably blames himself for not waking up sooner, although that was nothing he could control either. He’d be aware of just how wary his noblemen were of one another after he woke up, and when St. Albans hits, he feels so, so terrible. He might even wish that the arrow would’ve been a little off and hit him in a fatal spot, but the pain was retribution for the kind of king he was (at least in his mind). He also might regret not being able to give Margaret any more children, and he really feels it when he looks at the York family and how many sons Richard, Duke of York has. Margaret is the one who has to calm his worries, and she tells him that Edward is all that matters, and that was what God intended, which gives Henry some comfort. Henry would also regret the fact that he missed so much of his son’s life. He would try so hard in that room in the Tower to imagine his son all grown up, but all he can see is the fiery boy who he left all those years ago so he could run away. Edward would be on his mind every single day once he was imprisoned.

18. Things They’ll Never Admit

Other than the fact that Henry is scared out of his mind every day, I feel like he’s generally a pretty open book - but only to a few people. He’d never tell any of his fears to the Yorkists, because he sees all of them circling around his family like wolves. I also feel like sometimes, as much as he absolutely adores and respects Margaret, that he would sometimes wish that she would take his side, see things the way he sees them, take a peaceful way out. It’s probably one of the strains on their marriage. He’d also never admit how he sees his son growing up to be the man that Henry wishes he was, someone who is physically brave, fiery, a true Plantagenet. Henry would feel like he fell totally short of the family blood, and it’d make him feel terrible, as much as he loves his son.

19. People They’ve Hurt or Indirectly Killed, and How it Affected Them

St. Albans was such a terrible turning point in Henry’s life. It was the moment that things could not go back to the way they were, no matter how hard anyone tried to turn things around. He watched his advisors being slaughtered in front of him, and through the pain of that arrow would, the lightheadedness he’d feel from blood loss would be crushed down by all of the guilt. He’d feel the same after every battle, that so many people were hurt or killed for a throne that (he felt that) he should’ve given up a long time ago. Henry was convinced by his lords that he was doing a terrible job, and that anyone but he would have been better for the job. Those comments eventually get to you, especially when you’ve got a heart of gold like Henry does. When he hears that his son was killed at Tewkesbury that just about does it for him. He’s ready to go at that point. That grief can make you act in ways you’d never think to act, it can break you down, and it can kill you.