#(short but so tiring that I literally crawled into bed by 6 four out of 5 nights this week and did not get up til morning)

[televinita]

I spent 4 solid hours working on it but finally, the entire bedroom floor has been cleared and thoroughly vacuumed! Even the closet floor with stuff spilling out has been cleared enough that I can finally close the doors again! Length of time I have been putting this off: maybe a year idk.

[engagemachine]

I have nowhere else to put this. I need to say this. 

These past two weekends at work have been utterly beyond my comprehension and have nearly pushed me to my limit. I’ve had patients in restraints for the past two weekends in a row now, and the mixture of verbal/physical abuse from these patients and others has been so emotionally taxing, I just don’t even know where I can lay down this exhaustion and this frustration and this hurt. 

Our chronic understaffing issue has started to reach a boiling point. Last Saturday I had seven patients, which in some states is illegal (for reference, 5 patients on the kind of unit that I work on is considered normal, and 6 is the max that one nurse can have). Additionally, this past Friday, we went without a charge nurse and we didn’t have a tech (normally we have three to four techs because I work on a 40-bed unit, so each tech has ten patients each). My back has never been as sore as it is now from having to do so much heavy lifting this weekend without any help. Imagine changing multiple patients over 200 lbs all by yourself, multiple times, within a twelve hour shift. 

Last night in particular was so stressful that I found myself snapping at my coworkers -- which is so unlike me and something that I never do -- and even worse, I snapped at and was short with a patient who had been very irritating and especially demanding. This is not the kind of person that I am. I am not a person who snaps at their coworkers and their patients when I’m feeling overwhelmed. I’m not unflappable but any means, but I make a point of leaving my stress outside the door every time I walk into a patient’s room. I know that my stress is not their burden to bear. These patients are already sick/suffering, the last thing I want to do is add to their stress by coming into their private space with my own personal storm cloud hanging over my head. They have enough to worry about and their primary focus should be on healing. I never want to carry negative energy like that into a space where I am actively trying to take care of/love/heal/protect/educate/support/comfort the people I am taking care of. 

I can’t help feeling so angry at myself for my behavior and for allowing myself to slip so openly. I know I reacted this way because I was stressed and angry, but that is no excuse. And I also can’t help but feel bitter over the fact that the reason I’m so stressed is because we are lacking the resources/supplies/staff that are necessary in order for me to effectively do my job. 

I’m also so sick and tired of all the hospital politics and the beaurocracy of working for a big corporation... a corporation that does not care about its employees and whose primary focus is money. I know the nurse shortage we’re going through at our hospital is an ongoing issue that is being faced nationwide, but something absolutely has to be done in order to get staffing to where it needs to be, otherwise nurses will be leaving hospitals in droves, or will simply exit the profession all together from burn-out.

And it’s just... all this little stuff, too, all these things that occur that keep piling up that no one ever does anything about and no disciplinary action is taken because we’re so desperate for nurses and can’t afford to fire anybody. Some of the nurses I work with have adopted an attitude where they they feel like they can do anything they want without repercussion, because they know they won’t get fired because we’re so understaffed. We had a nurse walk out one night after receiving report which should result in having your nursing license revoked or, at the very least, result in some form of licensure suspension. Leaving during your shift -- even if at the beginning of a shift -- is considered abandonment/neglect of your patients. That nurse should have been fired after that, and she wasn’t. 

It is downright unconscionable that we should have to be responsible for seven patients. You cannot take good, quality care of that many patients at one time. It’s just impossible -- and it’s so unsafe. Imagine having a patient with sepsis whose blood pressure is tanking and who has spiked a fever/is quickly becoming unresponsive, another patient with schizophrenia who is hallucinating and being violent, another patient who has dementia and is confused, who has a feeding tube, a tracheostomy that requires frequent suctioning (this is a sterile procedure), a colostomy, a Foley catheter, and is in two-point restraints, which requires documentation three times every hour. And then imagine another patient who is going through Benzo withdrawals and needing around-the-clock medication and is also on seizure precautions, and another patient who is confused and is a fall risk and keeps trying to crawl out of the bed, and another patient who is vomiting and needs an antiemetic and possibly an NG tube, and another patient who is post-op and requiring pain medication for 7 out of 10 pain -- and imagine trying to take care of all of these things at the same time. Imagine going thirteen hours without peeing, eating, or drinking, simply because there is no time. That was me last weekend. It’s crazy to imagine the stress of having that many human lives in your hands, to be so busy and so stressed out that you literally do not even have five minutes to go to the bathroom because there is so much to do and you cannot afford to sit down. 

Or the fact that there’s a nurse on day shift who has nearly killed two separate patients on two different occasions, a nurse who refuses to do the basic necessities/tasks required by her job, has the nastiest attitude imaginable, and has been written up so many times by staff and patients that her personal folder is roughly as thick as the Oxford dictionary... and they still won’t fire her. 

And the way I keep catching nurses in blatant lies, nurses who have documented that they’ve done something when they haven’t. Just last night I saw a nurse had documented that she had administered a medication when I know she hadn’t because the medication was still sealed in its original box and I was the first one to open it. She did this for two days. Like... how can you even live with yourself, telling a lie like that? 

When I managed to take my lunch break this morning around 4am, I was near tears in the breakroom talking to my coworker because I just felt so overwhelmed and at my whit’s end. I’d gotten into a spat with my supervisor just a few minutes prior over something that she said had not been documented correctly (even though a different supervisor last week said that it had to be done the opposite way, and at that time, I’d had to stay late to correct this “mistake”) and now my supervisor this morning was telling me it had to be done the opposite way from what I’d been told, and there’s no clear hospital policy on how the documentation should be done... it’s so irritating. 

There is honestly so much more. I could write an entire novel about the stress of my job -- but I hope I don’t sound ungrateful, because I do love my job, I really do. I love caring for people more than anything, and if there’s one positive takeaway from all of this, it’s that, despite our lack of staff, some of my patients have been so gracious and understanding, and so many of my patients have been very expressive of how grateful they’ve been for my care, telling me I’m an angel/the best nurse they’ve had/telling me they wish that I didn’t have to leave. That’s very sweet. 

Emotionally, though, I just feel so spent. Like I’ve given everything I can and I have nothing more left because it’s been siphoned out of me. And there are weird things going on in my life with some of my personal relationships that have caused me an unnecessary amount of stress/insecurity and it’s frustrating that I feel like I can’t talk to the other person(s) about it because I am afraid of sounding needy/jealous/ungrateful. I pride myself on communicating the things that I want/need, but sometimes it just seems like it’s easier to let it go. I almost convince myself that they could never give me what I need even if I were to ask for it, but it’s also too painful to ask for something and then not get it.

I’m just so tired. I want to be positive and uplifting, but I don’t know where this road is supposed to take me. I don’t know if maybe I am being called to find work elsewhere or if this is an experience I am supposed to grow from and that is meant to make me stronger. I just really don’t know. 

[slversoul]

* lauren tsai, cis female + she/her | you know ramona pei, right? they’re twenty-three, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, eight years? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to can i believe you by fleet foxes like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole sitting at the bottom of a swimming pool while your lungs are screaming for air, the muffle of a tv from behind a closed door at 3am, ripping your dress as you crawl into your friends window thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is march 6, so they’re a pisces, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( corny :D  )

also sorry this got so long :(( really meant to shorten it but uh oh well. let’s get into it shall we...  

TW: blood mentions, violence, arson, emotional manipulation, cheating, absentee parenting, parental fighting

ABOUT.

in her hand, ramona held an antique vase, white with blue detailing. passed down from generation to generation, it had been in her family for decades. not wanting to drop it, she held it as tightly as possible. held so tight that it shattered anyway, breaking into hundreds of pieces that cut her hand as they fell.

a trip to china to celebrate graduating college despite having two children in between, patti met a man and had a short-lived but passionate affair, only to return home to find out she was pregnant.  

in the middle of a storm, ramona was born into a home longer than it was tall. patti gave her her father’s last name, some shallow attempt to connect her to a man and culture she didn’t know. 

ramona’s early years float through her mind like a montage of memories. rolling in the dirt and eating worms. climbing up the trees that shadowed the driveway to their house, jumping from branch to branch. cutting her doll’s hair before cutting her own to match. the first meeting of patti’s new boyfriend. his hairy belly hanging out of his white wife beater as he fell asleep on the couch with the tv on.

patti loved her children. she loved trent, shirley, and ramona with her whole heart, but she was tired. working all day and all night, it was hard to keep tabs on them at all times. the three of them woke up early every morning, singing as they packed lunches, and they kept up with their chore wheel, and they ran barefoot for hours in the woods behind their house.

she first learned to swim in a grimmy lake a couple miles from her house. she’d sit on the bike with trent as he took them there. she jumped right in and paddled her arms until she learned to stay afloat. she’d go under and swim deeper and deeper until her siblings were screaming her name. she’d come up and laugh, knowing that her siblings cared for her.

her first friend was debbie. they were inseparable. holding hands on the playground. playing hopscotch after school. swimming in the lake by her house. as the days went on, debbie made new friends. less and less she was at ramona’s house, eating peanut butter sandwiches trent had made. a thursday afternoon, ramona stole a hershey’s bar from the gas station — deb’s favorite candy. after her mom tucked her in, she snuck out and ran to her friend’s, still in her pjs. she threw rocks at the window, and one was thrown a bit too hard, shattering the window. debbie’s screams woke the whole neighborhood. the cops were called. while she was escorted home, ramona was crying the whole time, confused as to what she did wrong. all she wanted to do was win her friend back.

she felt like she didn’t belong. she’d cut up pictures of her favorite actresses and paste pictures of her own face over theirs, hanging those portraits all over the walls of the house. if she lived like the characters on the tv, she would have to be real. that was real life. there were times when everything felt perfect. the feeling of relief that comes from placing the last piece in a puzzle. snapshot memories like sitting at the table with her siblings, swinging her feet because her legs were too small to hit the ground. her first kiss underneath the slide. running with her friend, crayons in hand as they doodled along the walls. she was inclined to freeze these memories, trying to prolong them and make them last forever.

so when trent left for college, ramona, 13 at the time, hugged him so tight and wouldn’t let go. her mother and sister had to pry her off of him, and she scratched him so hard she drew blood in the process. or when her first boyfriend broke up with her and two weeks later he had a new girlfriend. she took her nail polish and wrote ‘cunt’ on his locker, earning herself a week-long suspension. shirley only congratulated her. her mother was at work. her step-father was passed out on the couch.

she acclimated to high school easily with shirley there to guide her. but she quickly made her own friends. tamra’s parents were hardly home. her house served as homebase. ramona’s parents didn’t realize when she left. they were too busy screaming at each other over the static of the tv. she’d slip out and run to tamra’s, climbing into the window left open. they’d put makeup on like their favorite movie character and get in their nicest dresses, before meeting their girlfriends and boyfriends in the parking lot of the abandoned walmart, making a competition out of who could get the drunkest. they would head home and four or five of them would pile into tamra’s bed and sleep there until late afternoon.

ramona’s first serious relationship was russell. she swore they were in love until she caught him making out with someone else at a bonfire. she pushed him over and ran into the woods. two weeks later, they were back together. he was her dream guy. not even nicholas sparks could write a lead so romantic. he kept pushing her and pushing her because he knew she wouldn’t let go. until one night she got so mad that she smashed in the windows of his car and sliced up the leather interior. fits of rage were rare for her, but when they came around, they were all consuming. she was lucky he didn’t press charges. 

life was a whirlwind of change the summer before sophomore year. shirley was packing up for college. patti was getting a divorce and moving them to irving, her hometown. ramona locked herself in her room. she wouldn’t come out for anything. the next day, when she still wouldn’t leave, shirley broke into her room, only to find it empty with the window wide open. a town-wide manhunt ensued, only to find her hiding up in a tree in the woods. 

even though she was back home, she wasn’t really there. she wouldn’t speak. didn’t speak until the day shirley moved away to go to college. 

 despite her reservations, she liked irving. she had never seen the ocean before. ramona stepped up to the shore and looked out at the horizon. peace washed over her as the waves lapped at her ankles. there was a sense of security in feeling so small. she took to swimming in the ocean rather than the lake, searching for sea creatures big and small to befriend.

the tv was always on at their house. her mom couldn’t stand the quiet and neither could she. the house was empty with three less booming voices. ramona clung to her friends, using them as an escape for everything she didn’t want to think about.

surrounded by all of these people, she still felt alone, isolated, like they only loved a certain version of her. when her and patti left to meet trent to visit shirley at school, she cried the whole trip, thinking her friends would talk about her while she was gone, and that they would be closer when she wasn’t there.

but she seemed to always be there, forcing her way into every plan and every activity rather than be left out. it was suffocating, but she was usually kind, so people put up with her.

there were always the times she wasn’t kind. when she’d make passive aggressive comments about what a bitch someone was because they didn’t want her using their favorite eyeshadow. or when someone said they wanted space and she went on a tirade about how horribly they treated her because she didn’t want them to leave her -- a reactionary measure that always seemed to make everything worse. but then she would act out her favorite television episodes for her friends and they would laugh and clap along, forgetting her desperate attempts to fight change. 

she couldn’t follow in her siblings footsteps. siblings she hardly hears from anymore, but desperately tries to reach out to. she stayed home and got a job as a swim instructor and a lifeguard in the summer. she sells handmade jewelry on the side. she’s floating and untethered, waiting to see where the tide carries her, only wanting to make fun memories from now until the end of time. 

PERSONALITY. 

um she’s a bit horrible? her heart is always in the right place and her intensions are good. she romanticizes literally everything. she wants to be loved so badly that she will look past any and all flaws <3. she often acts out because she is scared of losing her friends, and so she’ll be rude and passive aggressive. she wants them to feel like they need her more than she needs them. it’s all a weird power move in a way to keep her friends close. consumed by fomo. sometimes she can be outright mean and aggressive, but she really has to be pushed to her limit. doesn’t ever see what she’s doing as wrong. her older siblings were more of parents to her than her actual parents, and since they were all within 5 years of each other in age, her siblings never disciplined her because they were all immature. she is playful and untamed and just likes to do things because she can’t sit still. can always be found hanging out with friends and doing arts in crafts, or climbing rocks or swimming in the ocean. 

HEADCANONS.

she can’t get rid of things. her windowsill is lined with empty makeup bottles and empty deodorants and flowers in old wine bottles. she wears clothes until they literally fall apart. she has a million posters and pictures covering every space of her walls and ceiling. her room is a collection of her life with piles of clothes on her desk chair and bras and sweaters hanging from door handles.

for three months, she wore a bathing suit every day. some days it was under regular clothes and others it was the only thing she wore. she liked it and thought it was fashionable. it was how she was most comfortable.

she can’t drive! only rides her bike!

only wears dresses now <3

cannot sleep without the tv on! likes to hear voices lull her to sleep and inspire her dreams.

speaking of dreams, she has a whole notebook filled with the time she decided to analyze dreams for fun. has a notebook per passion she wants to explore. is always trying new things or researching new things to try to find her forever interest, not coming to terms that she wants to run wild forever and live like a witch in the woods, completely unburdened by anything.

she has a scar on her knee and the palm of her hand. she was hiking up a waterfall with friends one time, and got dared to climb up some slippery rocks. needless to say, she fell and cut herself badly.

she likes laughing and running and swimming. she likes posters and nail polish and cozy comforters. she dislikes being confined indoors and people who go out of their way to be mean and rainy days. she dislikes the color orange and words she can’t pronounce and learning from a textbook. she likes bikes and she doesn’t like cars. she likes anyone with kind eyes.

[shutupandshipit]

Christmas Preemie - One Shot

Summary: Izuku smoothed a hand over Katsuki belly, smiling as it was kicked at rather viciously. “He’s been moving around a lot, hasn’t he? Wouldn’t it be crazy if he decided to be a Christmas baby.”

Fingers curling in Izuku’s collar, Katsuki brought their noses very, very close. “Don’t even joke about that, shithead. I’m not done baking this loaf yet.”.

....

Or where Izuku makes a joke and forgets to knock on wood.

Pairing: Bakudeku

Rating: T

Check out Coming Home if you haven’t already! It precedes this fic!

Author’s Note: So, I'm sure other places have Christmas Strolls, but I've never seen one outside my hometown. It's literally my favorite part of the entire year, but I haven't gotten to visit it in more than 5 years. I didn't mention the name of the street in the fic, but it is based on the actual Plumas Street and Christmas Stroll that's in my hometown. When you're imagining it, think of what main street for a small town would look like (except we haven't been a small town in many many decades). Also, before anyone mentions it, yes the tortoise from the pat store that's mentioned is an actual thing we saw often. They would tie a balloon to him to keep track or where he went. He was pretty freaking big (medium dog size), and if I remember correctly, he was over 100 years old.

It's Christmas day here in Japan for me, so have another Christmas fic. Anyway, enjoy! Stop by and tell me what your Christmas Stroll/Festival is like! (when there isn't Covid) Blessed Yule! Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays! Whatever you're celebrating, I wish you a happy day!

"Daddy."

The whisper was just soft enough to wake him up, but not loud enough to startle him. Still, Izuku hoped if he pretended not to hear it, it would just end up being a dream. He let his face remain slack, his breathing steady.

A few seconds later before Izuku had even managed to doze off again, the whisper came again, closer this time. “Daddy, wake up.” Weight followed, two small hands pressing into his chest with all their weight.

“Sumi,” Izuku breathed quietly, still refusing to move and believe his daughter had woken him up, “It is very early and Daddy is very tired. Please go back to sleep.”

“But there’s someone outside the door. I can smell them.” The weight disappeared from his chest, but not the edge of the bed.

Groaning, Izuku pushed himself up and peeled his eyes open. Weak blue morning light crawled into the room from beneath the curtains. On the bedside table, blurry red numbers told him that it was only 6:22 AM. Katsuki was still dead asleep beside him, pillow covering his head while his hand lay protectively over his belly.

Sumi bounced anxiously on the edge of the bed, her protheses bare metal all the way down to her toes. She glanced between the door and Izuku. Her wild green locks were wilder than usual from sleep, a brush handle protruding over the top of her head at the back of her hair.

Before Izuku could move to extract it, a knock sounded at the door. Three short, but loud, raps. Both he and Sumi startled, glancing at Katsuki before each other.

With a heavy sigh, Izuku nudged Sumi off the edge of the bed and stood. He was just pulling a shirt over his bare torso when the knocking came again. Louder this time.

Izuku wasn’t someone who normally got agitated easily, but between the early hour and the jetlag, he was less inclined towards solicitude. Jerking open the door, scent flaring out strong and sharp, he growled, “What?” He felt Sumi press against the side of his leg, and glanced down to see her baring her teeth.

The man on the otherside was a burly looking alpha fellow with an overwhelming burning sage scent. Irritation made the scent sharper, less pleasant plant life and more like weed. His arms were crossed over his wide chest, murky brown eyes cut in thin slits. He was taller than Izuku by several inches, but Izuku had no doubts that he could still take the alpha down even without One For All. “Tell your wife to reel in her pheromones. I’ve got three alpha teens in the next room over, and she’s driving them nuts.”

Izuku glanced over his shoulder at the still form of Katsuki before pushing Sumi back into the room and stepping out to square up against the man in front of him. He smiled, sharp and dangerous, channeling every ounce of Katsuki he had stored in his veins. “I’m sorry, can you repeat that? My English isn’t that great. I thought I just heard you say it’s my omega’s fault your boys can’t control themselves.” His English was almost as good as his Japanese after four years with Sumi and Katsuki and Shonetta every other day.

The alpha huffed, glaring down his nose at Izuku. “That’s right. You know you can’t bring omegas in heat to hotels in the U.S.”

“Wow! Amazing! You can’t do that in Japan either, and my omega isn’t in heat.”

“Whatever she is, you need to get her to reel in her fucking pheromones. I’m sure we’re not the only family being bothered.”

“I think,” Izuku started sweetly, “maybe, you need to teach your boys some self control. If they get riled up just from smelling an omega, I think the fault lies with their parents and not a family minding their own business in a separate room.” His smile could have cut glass.

The alpha bristled, face going red. “Why you-”

The door opened behind Izuku, and both alpha’s startled as a disgruntled Katsuki stepped up behind Izuku. “What’s going on? Do you know what fucking time it is, asshole?”

Izuku hadn’t heard Katsuki get up, and assumed Sumi had made the decision to get him. His protheses were attached, metal bare to the morning chill. Katsuki was also shorter than the alpha, but his presence was far more intimidating as he glared at him in all his pregnant glory. At eight months, Katsuki was deep into his pregnancy, and deeply over it as well. He had begun to swell at five months and hadn’t stopped.

“I’m just giving this man some parenting advice,” Izuku said, glancing at the other alpha whose face had drained completely of color.

Katsuki shot narrowed eyes at Izuku. “Yeah, sure sounded like it.”

“You’re Dynamight-”

“Yeah, what of it?” Katsuki groused. His eyes turned back to the alpha, looking him up and down with a critical eye.

Katsuki, pregnant and tired, was not someone a lot of people knew how to deal with. They’d set up the trip to visit Shonetta and Cynthia before they’d had the pregnancy confirmed. Izuku had suggested they move it either one way or the other around the birth to provide his mate with more comfort, but the paperwork had already been in route and tickets purchased. On top of that, Katsuki had been sure he was going to be just as small as when he’d had Katsumi. He had surpassed that stage two months ago.

The alpha seemed to shrink under Katsuki’s steady anger. “I, uh, I’m sure you don’t remember me, but you might remember my daughter? She was kidnapped while we were at the zoo, and you saved her before the guy could throw her into the lion pit.”

After a moment, Katsuki said, “Little red headed omega. Freckles everywhere. Presented very early at seven or something like that. Wouldn’t let any of the alpha heroes near her.”

A smile split across the alpha’s face, and Izuku wasn’t exactly sure what was happening here. “Yes! You were the only one who could get her to calm down enough to come out of the crevice she’d wedged herself in behind the statue.”

Katsuki considered the guy again, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning against the door frame. “Right, now what were you saying about omegas earlier?”

Sumi pressed between them, eyes still narrowed at the man before them.

Red bloomed in the alpha’s face again, but this time it seemed to be in embarrassment. “Oh, nothing. Nothing at all! Your mate was giving me some parenting advice like he said.” A door opened close by.

“Right.”

Izuku and Sumi glanced down the hall to see an omega girl of about twelve pop out of the door.

“Dad, Danny said- Mr. Dynamight!” She darted out, letting the door slam shut behind her. She gasped. “Katsumi!”

“Katherine!” Sumi shouted in return, wriggling out from between Katsuki and Izuku to jump around with the other girl, hairbrush still in her hair and all. “You’re so much bigger than me now! Do you talk to Ms. Bains anymore?”

While the little girls chattered excitedly with each other, Katsuki pointed at the alpha. “You, come here,” he growled threateningly, palm crackling quietly. Swallowing, the alpha stepped just a hair closer, and Katsuki snapped out a hand to jerk him forward until they were nose to nose. He hissed, “Get your fucking boys under control and stop blaming others for your short-comings. You’ve got a fucking omega daughter, and you’re spouting that rhetoric around her? Get your fucking priorities straight.”

“Y-yes, sir,” the man squeaked.

Katsuki pushed him away. “Great, now that we understand each other.” He turned, slowly making his way back into the room, but returned only a moment later with something clutched in his hand. “Hey, girl!”

Katherine perked up, trotting over to the three adults with Sumi’s hand still clutched in hers. “Yes, sir?”

“Here, something to make your brothers jealous.” Katsuki held out a bandana that their PR agents had specially made when Katsuki and Izuku had publicized their bond. Cut from one corner to the other, one side was green and black with Izuku’s signature bunny motif while the other side was black and orange with ‘X’ graphics. They’d brought a couple of the prototypes to give to Shonetta and Cynthia. “That’s the first like it. I sighed the ‘X’ in the corner, and I’m sure Deku would sign it too if you ask him.”

Katherine turned big brown cow eyes on Izuku, and he smiled as he turned to find a sharpie.

Behind him, he heard Katsumi shout, “I’ve got one too! We can match! We’ve got shirts too! I could send you one when we get home!”

“Would you?” Katherine asked excitedly. Izuku grabbed a pen and paper as well, returning. As he traded everything in his hands for the bandana, she asked, “Dynamight, can I feel your belly, please? I’ve never gotten to feel a baby move before.”

“Go ahead, kid.” If Katsuki Bakugou was anything, he was soft when it came to children and other omegas.

Izuku thought maybe it was something he’d never really completely get about his mate. He knew it had to do with biology, but he thought maybe it had to do with just Katsuki himself. He was gruff around the edges, but he had an ingrained instinct to protect those weaker than him. Then again, Izuku was softer than him when it came to children, so who was really to say.

Katherine stepped forward, pressing reverential fingers to Katsuki’s distended stomach before leaning to press her ear there as well. Sumi followed her lead, chattering all the while as the girls felt and listened. Katherine let out a high, girlish giggle as she pulled back. “He kicked me in the face! What a little bugger.” Still, she pressed her ear right back to where it had been. “You smell good, Dynamight, sir.”

“Well, heck, I hope so. How else am I supposed to keep this one around?” Katsuki jerked a thumb over his shoulder at Izuku who huffed out a laugh in response.

Laughing, Katherine took a few more moments before pulling away. She scribbled a cell number, email address, and physical address before exchanging the notepad for the bandana again. “One day,” she said very seriously, staring up at Katsuki with wonder in her eyes, “I’m going to grow up just as strong as you. I’m going to be a great omega hero like you!”

Her father seemed ready to protest, opening his mouth to say whatever had come to mind, but Izuku put his hand on his shoulder with another sharp smile.

Katsuki’s expression was soft as he patted her on the shoulder. “Hit us up when you’re about to intern in high school, and maybe I’ll be able to work something with Negative. Or if you choose not to be a hero in this sense, you can intern with her wife at the hospital as a nurse or a midwife. There’s a lot of avenues that you could take. Make sure you pick the one that makes you happy.”

Katherine nodded, just a quick bob of her head. “I will.” Before they could part, she wrapped her arms around Katsuki and then did the same to Sumi. When she pulled away, eyes finding her father, they went wide. “Oh no! I forgot. Danny said that the toilet is clogged and it’s leaking all over the bathroom.”

“Ah! What the hell!” The alpha threw his hands into the air, stomping towards the door she’d come out of.

With a giggle, she hurried after him. “Bye, Katsumi! Bye, Mr. Dynamight! Bye, Mr. Deku! Hope to see you again!”

As they disappeared into the room, Katsuki turned to Sumi. “Okay, little monster, time to get ready. Shonetta and Cynthia are supposed to be picking us up soon, and why is there a hairbrush stuck in your hair! Deku!”

Izuku gaped. “It was there when she woke me up! Don’t go blaming me!”

“And yet, I’m still going to.”

…..

-7 months earlier-

“Izuku fucking Midoriya-Bakugou, get your ass in here!”

It wasn't often that Katsuki called Izuku by his full name, and he nearly dropped the plate he'd been holding as Katsuki's enraged voice thundered from the bathroom. He and Sumi, now a stunning nine-year-old and growing bigger every day, caught each other's eyes across the kitchen counter. It had been what felt like years since Katsuki had yelled at him so ferociously.

' Papa's mad !' Sumi signed helpfully, eyes darting to the bathroom door before returning to Izuku.

' Yeah, but the question is how much ?' Izuku signed back one-handed, soapy fingers moving quickly through the air, ' And why ?'

“Fucking Deku!”

Izuku startled again, this time actually dropping the plate as he darted away. Sumi's laughter followed after him, but it did nothing to calm his nerves. “K-Kacchan? What's the matter?” he asked tentatively as he pushed into the bathroom. He paused just inside the door.

Katsuki sat on the edge of the sink, head cradled in his hands, fingers pressed to his eyes. The scent hit him next, sweet caramel and all-spice spiked with the bitter tang of bile and urine. Last was the quiet growling hum Katsuki seemed to be letting slip.

“Kacchan?” Izuku stepped completely into the bathroom and closed the door behind him. Whatever this was, he doubted Katsuki wanted Sumi in on it just yet. “What's the matter?”

“Are you fucking happy?” Katsuki growled, but the edges were softer and fonder than Izuku normally received when Katsuki was angry with him.

That made him wonder; was Katsuki actually angry or just trying to hide something? “A-a-about what? What's going on?” When Katsuki jerked his head toward the toilet, Izuku stepped around him and stopped again.

Right on top of the lid, four pregnancy tests sat. Four pink sticks with four pink plus signs on white faces stared up at him.

He was crying before he'd even fully comprehended the sheer magnitude of what the tests meant. Inhaling a shuddering breath, he whispered, “How long have you thought...”

“A couple weeks. About a month, but I wasn't sure. Didn't want to get anyone's hopes up. Had to check after I puked though.” Katsuki still hadn't lifted his head, and Izuku turned to press between his knees, leaning in to lightly scent the top of his head.

“Kacchan, you really are?” he asked with a hiccup, throat thick and voice choked, “Really? You're not messing with me?”

“Tell me, in what world do you think I'd joke about this?”

A sob slipped passed his lips. “Really? You're really pregnant? Are...” he trailed off, fear coiling in his stomach right alongside the excited butterflies, “Are you mad about it?”

Katsuki released a heavy sigh, and dropped his hands. A smile pulled up the corners of his mouth, and he met Izuku's eyes. "No. No, I'm not, Izuku. Maybe it's just my stupid omega brain, but... I love Katsumi and I loved when she was a baby, and I didn't think it was going to feel the way it did. I didn't think I'd get another chance to feel that again. It's different having a baby and that changed my whole world. And this time..." Reaching out, he gripped Izuku's hips and pulled him close. "This time you'll be here to experience it too."

A torrent of sobs fell from Izuku's mouth, and he covered his face with his hands. Pressing forward, he wrapped his arms around Katsuki's neck to press his face into Katsuki's shoulder instead. "Kacchan, I'm so happy! I can't believe- I didn't think- I'm so happy!"

"Yeah, that's obvious, nerd," Katsuki said fondly, threading his fingers into Izuku's hair to hold him close. "Get it all out now. You're not allowed to be emotional for the next nine months. Got it?"

"That's totally unreasonable." Izuku laughed, breath sticky and wet against his own face. "But I'll try my best." He let out a breath, finally calming as he pulled back. “I can't wait to share these next months with you."

"You won't be saying that soon," Katsuki warned, but his smile ruined the effect. He pulled Izuku back in, this time for a kiss. And even though his mouth still tasted hideous, Izuku couldn’t have been happier.

Sumi burst through the door, eyes wild, hair wilder, hands popping around a phone screaming with Shonetta's voice. "I'm going to have a baby brother?" she screeched, launching herself between Izuku and Katsuki to try and get closer. "Let me touch your belly, Papa! I want to feel Taiyo move!"

"Katsumi!" Katsuki growled warningly as he pulled back to glare down at her, "How many times have I told you to not eavesdrop! Or answer my phone!"

Izuku was laughing though, stepping back to hoist her into his arms. "Sumi, you won't be able to feel them move for a long time. And how long have you had that name picked out? Also, hello, Negative."

Shonetta wasn't paying attention, screaming instead at Katsuki to pick up his phone so she could congratulate him. He didn't comply, ears red and face buried in his hands.

"Since I was three!" Sumi announced, "And I told Papa I wanted a baby brother like the other girls in my class!"

"And I told you not to hold your breath, you little monster," Katsuki growled before groping blindly for the phone. Removing his hand, he glared down at the woman on the screen with red cheeks and curled lips. "You tell anyone, woman, and it'll be the end of you, do you hear me?"

"I've already texted Cynthia."

"You know she's not who I'm talking about."

Izuku could hear the grin in Shonetta's voice rather than see it. "Well, the entire agency is congratulating you. Don't ignore them when they text you."

"Bitch-"

"Katsuki," Izuku reprimanded quickly, but Sumi was already preoccupied as she chattered away at Shonetta.

…..

-Present-

“Katsumi Bakugou-Midoriya, get over here and put your jacket on or I’m going to leave you here, and you’re not going to get to go to the Christmas Stroll at all.”

Izuku popped his head into the little guest room that Shonetta and Cynthia had set up for Sumi to use for the week they’d be in America. There was an air mattress on the floor with a rumpled pink comforter in the middle surrounded by two desks and numerous filing cabinets. Sitting on the edge of the mattress was Sumi, arms crossed over her chest in consternation.

“No! It’ll be too hot!” she shot back, “I can dress myself!”

“Clearly not if I’m having to tell you to put on more clothes because it’s going to be cold!” Katsuki snarled, out of breath as he glared at his daughter. He was gripping the back of a computer chair with one hand while the other pressed to the small of his back, face contorted with as much discomfort as it was irritation. “I’m not asking. This is nonnegotiable, and I’m not in the mood to be arguing with you.”

Sumi turned up her nose, and Izuku got a very sudden and terrifying flashback to Katsuki when they’d been kids. “No. I’m not wearing it.”

Before either could snap back, Izuku stepped into the room with a smile. "Sumi, you know you're not supposed to be arguing with Papa right now." He turned to Katsuki with a smile that softened as that now familiar warmth of seeing Katsuki swollen with pregnancy filled his chest. "Kacchan, please sit down if you're uncomfortable."

"I'm fucking fine," Katsuki snapped, but almost immediately blanched and slowly sank into the computer chair. "Fucking kid." Closing his eyes, he tilted his head back and rubbed a hand over his belly. Once, twice, soothing circles.

When Izuku looked back at his daughter, he found guilt twisting her round face. "Wait here for me, Sumi, and we'll talk about the jacket. I'm going to help Papa outside."

"Okay," she mumbled, ducking her head and tugging at the end of her long braid, "Sorry, Papa."

Izuku gripped Katsuki forearm as he slowly stood back up. "Not your fault, little monster, your brother just has a lot of energy like Dad."

She didn't lift her head, and they both sighed as they made their slow way out of the room, and out to the living room.

"Shouldn't have yelled at her," Katsuki grumbled as he sat down and let Izuku slide and lace up the orthopedic boots from Cynthia on his feet.

"There was a better way to handle the situation, yes, but traveling always makes you irritable. And you've been doing really well handling your anger throughout your entire pregnancy." Task completed, Izuku pressed a kiss to Katsuki's belly and got kicked in the mouth for his trouble. "I'll talk to her, and then maybe you can talk to her about why you were frustrated later."

Katsuki made a sound above him, and Izuku lifted his head to find his husband scrubbing at his eyes. Izuku pressed gentle fingers to Katsuki’s wrist, but it only made Katsuki's breath hitch. "You're so much better at this parenting thing than I am. What would I have done if you hadn't wanted to stay with us?"

Pregnancy hormones. Even eight months in, Izuku was still surprised by how wildly Katsuki's emotions could vacillate in a few moments. Anger to guilt to tears. Tears weren't something Katsuki was predisposed to, so each time Izuku found Katsuki crying over something, he always had to stop and think about his next step. Sometimes Katsuki would cry over something that made sense; pictures of Sumi in the hospital, a news story about children being lost in a villain attack, the anniversary of All Might's death. Sometimes, they didn’t make sense; the time he'd knocked the dish soap onto the floor, doing paperwork at home instead of at the agency because he'd had an appointment that day, watching Winnie the Pooh by himself while Sumi was at school.

Everything about pregnancy fascinated Izuku, and he felt blessed every moment of it he was able to share with his mate.

Standing, Izuku pulled Katsuki into his body, rubbing a hand up and down his spine. "We're a team, love, we've always been a team. This works because we're together. Even if I weren't here, I know you'd be nothing less than amazing."

They remained like that until Katsuki’s shaking slowed. After a moment, he whispered, “Deku.”

“Yes?”

“I want you suck your dick.”

Izuku felt his entire body flush from head to toe at the blunt word choice. He laughed, rubbing at his forehead. “How about we save that for later? I thought you wanted to go to this Christmas Stroll thing Sumi and Shonetta haven’t stopped talking about. Isn’t today the last night?”

Katsuki huffed against Izuku’s chest, fingers stilling where he’d pushed them up beneath Izuku’s shirt. “I would say ‘fuck it’,” he groused, using Izuku to stand back up, “But it’s Sumi’s favorite part of the season. The whole thing’s a fucking annoyance.” Which actually meant Katsuki enjoyed it, Izuku had discovered. “The things I do for that little monster and her godmothers.”

Izuku smoothed a hand over Katsuki belly, smiling as it was kicked at rather viciously. “He’s been moving around a lot, hasn’t he? Wouldn’t it be crazy if he decided to be a Christmas baby.”

Fingers curling in Izuku’s collar, Katsuki brought their noses very, very close. “Don’t even joke about that, shithead. I’m not done baking this loaf yet.” He pressed a quick kiss to Izuku’s lips before hobbling away towards the kitchen where Cynthia and Shonetta were singing Christmas carols at the top of their lungs. “Sumi’s still waiting for you.”

Izuku put on his own shoes before returning to the bedroom. Sumi was still sitting in the same spot he’d left her, scrubbing at her eyes with the sleeve of her long-sleeved t-shirt as she sniffled quietly. "I'm sorry," she whispered miserably.

Sighing, Izuku picked up the coat -barely a sweater really- that Katsuki had been trying to get Sumi to put on and sat down beside her. "Why are you sorry?"

Her shoulders hitched, just like her father’s a moment ago, and mumbled, “Because I’m being a bad girl.”

Running a hand up and down Sumi’s back like he’d done with Katsuki, he asked, “Why do you think you’re being a bad girl?”

“Because I was arguing with Papa and made him start to yell and now he’s mad at me. I don’t want to wear my jacket because it’ll be too hot, but I just get so mad when he starts to yell. I can’t help it.”

“You’re a lot like your Papa, baby. He’s like that too, and it took him a long time to learn not to let that be his first response.” Resting his hand on the side of Sumi’s head, he pulled her into his body, pressing a kiss to her temple. “He’s not mad at you, he just wants to make sure you don’t get sick. Papa shouldn’t have yelled at you, but you shouldn’t have yelled back, okay?”

“Okay.” Sumi hiccupped, tilting her head to rest on his shoulder.

Izuku let the moment stretch until he heard Cynthia’s voice coming down the hallway. “Alright, so here’s what we’re going to do.” Lifting her head, Sumi sat back to meet his eyes, silent and resolute. “I want you to put on your jacket before we go outside, okay. No, no arguments.” He put up a finger when her mouth automatically opened to argue. “You can take it off again in the car. You have to put it back on before you get out of the car. If it’s too hot after ten minutes of being outside, you can take it back off, but I want you to carry it just in case you do get cold. Okay? Is that fair?”

After a moment of puff-cheeked disdain, Sumi huffed and muttered, “Yes.”

…..

When the others had said ‘Christmas Stroll’, Izuku had been expecting houses lit with strings of light and families marveling at them as they passed. Maybe a few groups caroling or selling hot chocolate.

Izuku was not expecting a full-on parade of floats and fire trucks and police cars with people dressed as Santa Clause and elves dancing to Christmas music over loudspeakers. He also wasn’t expecting an entire street to be shut down and blocked off to allow the crowd to walk from one booth or store to another. At either end of the street, live music played. One side seemed to be professional musicians while the other side seemed to be high school students and volunteers. Behind the makeshift stages, Christmas trees towered, dripping in tinsel and sparkling lights and handmade ornaments from the ornament making stalls off to the sides.

Each booth and store shone with lights, boasting their wares. There was a whole booth dedicated to olive oil, another to soaps made out of goat’s milk, another to hero merch that Katsuki wouldn’t let him linger at. There even seemed to be a gift wrapping stall every ten meters or so. The stores were all small family owned businesses of holistic shops, restaurants and one records shop.

Katsumi ran out in front of them in the jacket she’d been so against with Shonetta, laughing as they held hands and darted around other families. Cynthia paced Katsuki, close at his elbow to help at any moment.

“Papa, look!” Sumi shouted, pointing down the road, “The tortoise from Guisser Pets is out again! Oh, Cookie Tree has a booth! Can we please get some cookies and hot chocolate!”

“Sure!” Katsuki called back, “Go pick out what you want, and we’ll catch up in a moment. Do a baker’s dozen!”

Other patrons glanced curiously at him, the Japanese obviously foreign to their ears, but Katsuki didn’t seem to notice as Izuku pressed close against his side. “This is really nice. They do this every year?” Izuku asked.

“Every damn year. The agency usually helps out too,” Katsuki said, eyes scanning over the crowd, “Those idiots should be around here som-”

“KATSUMI!”

Izuku and Katsuki lurched forward on instinct, Cynthia’s hand shooting out to grip Katsuki’s arm, but they stopped as quickly as they’d started. Up ahead, a group of heroes lifted their daughter into the air as she screamed with laughter. “Katsumi! Katsumi! Katsumi!” they chanted, Negative already in the middle of the group not making a lick of difference.

For a solid moment, they stood watching. Then Katsuki strode forward, intent in every step. “Hey, assholes! What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

Izuku had heard Katsuki use English before -at the hotel, on the phone with Shonetta, to Katsumi when she got overwhelmed- but it was a shock every time. And every time it made him hot around the collar. He watched completely dumbfounded as Katsuki stopped in front of the group, hands on his hips, and subsequently as they engulfed him into their mist. “Ah, Kat!” they shouted, and Sumi popped from the group to dart to Izuku’s side, “It’s so good to see you! Where have ya been, fucker? Holy shit, you’re huge!”

It was a group of fumbling, laughing and crowing as they absorbed Katsuki into their ranks like he’d never returned to Japan in the first place.

Izuku stood with Cynthia and Katsumi, watching his husband interact with people in a way he never had before. Katsuki’s smile was wide and unrestricted as he wrapped one of the guys in a choke hold and rubbed his knuckles roughly over the man’s crown. As he playfully pushed at the shoulder of a small wolf-eyed woman with sharp canines, large triangle ears and grey bottlebrush tail. As a pair of twins with cotton candy pink hair and thin delicate claws pressed their ears to his belly to listen.

There was an instinctual need to ward off every person standing too close to Katsuki, especially the alphas he could smell in the air, but knew exactly how well that would go over. That didn’t stop him from pumping out pheromones enough to make others attending the stroll pass him wary glances before skirting as far around him as they could. Beneath his hand, Sumi giggled and reached up to grab his arm tightly.

“Calm down, tough guy,” Cynthia told him, hand on his arm as she pushed cinnamon dreads back over her shoulder, “You’re suffocating the crowd. They’re not a danger to your mate or pup.”

Izuku groaned, turning to meet her brown eyes. “I know that logically, but that doesn’t make me want to rip off their hands any less.”

‘ Protect mate. Protect pup. Mate close to birth. Vulnerable. Must protect. Run off threats. Protect .’ The litany of Izuku’s alpha was only interrupted when the group of Katsuki’s ex-coworkers started glancing around.

“Speaking of which, where is baby daddy? You brought him, right? Of course you did. No alpha worth his salt would let a mate as pregnant as you out of their sight. We haven’t met him yet! Let us meet the person who can handle you!” a burly man shouted to a crowing of assents from the rest of the group, “Come on, Kat, where are you hiding him?”

“My mate and husband , you absolute dickhole, is right over there,” Katsuki spat, jerking a thumb over his shoulder, “Can’t you smell him? Or are you as nose blind as you are stpuid?”

The group followed Katsuki’s motion, eyes landing squarely on Izuku. Immediately, his alpha went on high alert while his face flooded with heat at the attention. Their eyes stared at him for several long moments. Eventually, it was the woman with wolf eyes that spoke up first. “Honestly, Kat, I saw the news, but I thought it was a publicity stunt. I didn’t think you had your claws in Japan’s No.1 Hero Deku. Like what is that? Sumi, how could you keep this from us!”

“I didn’t! You just didn’t believe me!” Sumi shouted back, hands still wrapped around Izuku’s forearm as she bodily dragged him towards the group.

“Hey, assholes! He’s been mine since we were kids! And we switch between the top two spots all the time! Hey!” Katsuki’s teeth snapped viciously, a snarl splitting the excited atmosphere as he knocked aside someone’s hand who’d been reaching for Izuku. “Hands off. This is a no touch exhibition, fucking got it?”

“Ah, Kat, you’re too much like a territorial alpha,” the burly man said, setting a hand on Katsuki’s shoulder.

This time, Izuku didn’t stop himself. He slotted himself between the man and Katsuki, and very deliberately picked his hand off Katsuki’s shoulder to give it back to him. “Like Kacchan said, this is a no touch exhibition.” He gave the group his widest and most lethal smile that put his sharp canines in full view. “Please stop touching my mate. I’ve been very patient up until now.”

The heroes roared with laughter, unaffected by either Izuku’s or Katsuki’s displays. The conversation devolved from there. Introductions were properly made. Chatter shot from one side of the circle to another. Santa hats were shoved onto Izuku’s and Katsuki’s heads from the good-natured group. Eventually, Shonetta dispersed the group to continue with their jobs. Sumi took off with the twins as they promised her cookies if she danced with them. Shonetta and Cynthia pulled back, and then it was just Katsuki and Izuku holding hands as they wove slowly through the crowds.

At the end of the street where the professional band was playing a slow sweet Christmas song, Katsuki allowed Izuku to pull him into a crowd of couples of every age and orientation. He wrapped Katsuki up in his arms and swayed them gently to the beat. The twins turned passed them, Sumi held on their feet, and Izuku smiled.

When he pressed a lingering Katsuki’s temple, he muttered, “You’re being gross. Stop.” Despite his words, he leaned into the gentle touch.

“I’m happy. I like it here. I like the whole celebrating together and the lights and how happy everyone else is too.”

“It’s one of the more enjoyable things to look forward to here,” Katsuki agreed.

Giggles rose from around them, and for a moment, Izuku thought it was because they were so tightly bound up in each other that they hadn’t realized the song had changed. Only, the song was still the same slow beat. They pulled apart enough for Katsuki to give the surrounding couples a dirty glare.

They weren’t looking at them particularly, but at their feet.

Sumi swooped in, eyes worried as she whispered, “Papa, did you have an accident?”

“What? No, I didn’t have an accident. I’m twenty-”

“It’s just… your legs are all wet and there’s a puddle under you,” she interrupted.

Katsuki and Izuku reeled away from each other, staring down between their bodies at the puddle beneath their feet. Izuku couldn’t understand how Katsuki hadn’t felt the wet, but he also couldn’t understand how there could be so much liquid and it not smell like urine.

Color drained from Katsuki’s face. “Katsumi, go get Cynthia and ask Shonetta to run to start the car,” he said slowly and deliberately.

“Why? Are you hurt?”

Was he hurt? Izuku was as lost as Sumi seemed to be, but Katsuki didn’t seem lost at all.

“No. Just tell them my water broke, okay, little monster?”

‘ My water broke .’ Izuku was suddenly far less lost, and both fear and excitement thrilled through him at the same time.

“Are you going to be okay?”

Katsuki seemed to struggle to smile. “I sure am, little monster. Just go tell your godmothers that okay. Tell them to be quick.” His fingers tightened exponentially on Izuku’s forearms, and as soon as Sumi darted away, he spat, “You just had to open your fucking mouth, didn’t you, Deku?” Unbidden tears spilled passed his lashes. “I fucking told you I hadn’t finished yet. Now, he’s coming and-”

Izuku cupped Katsuki’s cheeks in his hands, quickly wiping away the tears. “It’s okay, Kacchan. He’s a little early, but it’ll be okay. It’s not ideal, but we’ve got Cynthia and Shonetta, and everything went well when you had Katsumi here. It’ll be alright.”

“I know that,” Katsuki grit out, eyes squeezed shut, “But so many things can go wrong with a preemie. I just want him to come out healthy and happy. What if-”

Izuku tapped Katsuki’s cheek lightly. “Hey, none of that now. No ‘what ifs’. Taiyo is going to be just fine, alright, but we’ve got to get him here first.”

After another few seconds of just breathing and couples staring at them in concern, Katsuki opened his eyes. He was back to himself, the same hero who had faced down more villains than a lot of heroes could even boast about. With steel in his eyes, he muttered, “Get ready. I’m going to end up breaking your fingers tonight. I broke Best Jeanist’s last time.”

Izuku laughed, and then Cynthia was at their sides.

…..

Taiyo came into the world in the early hours of Christmas morning, and was almost immediately whisked away to the preemie ICU. They hadn’t even allowed Katsuki or Izuku to scent him before.

Now, with Katsuki fitfully sleeping under the sedative they’d had to administer to make sure he wouldn’t come after them, Izuku sat in silence. At first, he’d busied himself with making the phone calls he needed to. One to Inko, to Mitsuki and Masaru, to their agencies to inform them of what had happened so they would know that not only would they miss their flight, but also they’d be immediately beginning maternity/paternity leave. The last calls he made were to Ochako and Kirishima.

Hearing their voices, so cheerful and encouraging, made tears slip down his cheeks and words difficult as he explained to them the situation so far.

They both said the same thing. “Don’t worry, Deku, everything is going to be fine. Taiyo is going to be fine.”

He wasn’t so sure the longer he sat there without a baby in his arms. He didn’t even have Sumi there to hold, Shonetta and Cynthia taking her home and telling him to call when he finally had word on Taiyo. So, he sat and fidgeted and stressed and cried at the side of Katsuki’s bed. Eventually, he just crawled in next to him and snuggled close.

What felt like hours later, Katsuki began mumbling and shifting, eyelashes fluttering as the sedatives wore off. “Zuku. Zuku. Izuku,” he panted, eyes struggling to open, “Alpha- where’s my pup?” His fingers curled around Izuku’s already bruised digits again, grip slowly growing stronger as he came out of the drug induced stupor. “Where’s my pup? Alpha!”

Izuku sat up in the bed, quickly reaching to incline the head so Katsuki wouldn’t have to move. After jabbing his thumb into the call button, he settled back against the bed and ran shaky fingers through Katsuki’s sweat sticky spikes. “D-don’t worry. They’re just making sure he’s healthy. I’m sure they’re almost done.”

“I want my baby,” Katsuki whispered weakly, turning his nose into Izuku’s neck. He breathed out shakily, grip calming if only marginally.

“Me too. I called the nurse. I’m sure she has an update.”

When the nurse pushed opened the door, tugging a bassinet in behind her with the doctor in on the other side, it was deathly silent. There was no smile on either of their faces, and Izuku’s stomach dropped at the silence.

He could smell Taiyo. Spearmint and brown sugar. There wasn’t anything off about it, but the expressions on the doctor and nurse’s faces told a different story.

‘ Pup. Scent. Hold. Protect. Need to scent. Pup. ’ Izuku swallowed against his alpha’s rising aggravation.

“I want my baby,” Katsuki said immediately, struggling to push himself up straighter and reaching out his arms towards the bassinet, “Now.”

“Mr. Dynamight, we need to discuss something first-” the doctor started, but Katsuki wasn’t going to let him finish.

He snarled, loud and harsh, all protective omega mother. “Give me my fucking baby before I get out of this bed and hurt someone. You didn’t even let me scent him before you took him. You didn’t let me touch him or feed him. Give me my goddamn baby.”

The nurse and doctor exchanged a glance, but after a moment, the nurse carefully lifted the abnormally silent bundle into her arms and brought him to the bedside. Hesitantly, she passed him over.

Katsuki and Izuku reached for him at the same time, bringing him in close between their two bodies. His eyes were closed, but he snuffled quietly as if he could smell them as well. There was wispy blond hair on the top of his head, and when his eyelids fluttered, there was the barest glimpse of color. Newborn baby blue eyes.

Tears tracked down Izuku’s face as he pressed a kiss to Taiyo’s forehead and then Katsuki’s temple.

“Help me get this stupid gown open,” Katsuki muttered as he shifted Taiyo closer to his chest. Taiyo made a soft barely audible sound, tiny nostrils flaring as Izuku and Katsuki got him flush against Katsuki’s chest. It only took him a moment to latch onto the offered nipple. “Why was that so much easier than with Sumi?”

The doctor cut in before they could continue on ignoring the pair. “Mr. Dynamight, Mr. Deku, please, if I could have a moment of your time. This is very important.”

“More important than me feeding my pup?” Katsuki asked, voice saccharine as he smiled up at the doctor.

The doctor swallowed, but nodded and forged forward. “I need to discuss your options with you. I know that you two are very busy pro-heroes with one child already.”

“What situation are we talking about?” Izuku asked, “You failed to mention what the problem was when you took him from us. I understand that you had to make sure he was healthy, and I appreciate the good work you’ve already done for us, but if something’s wrong, we should have been told immediately. Not hours after the fact.”

Looking chastened and rather aggrieved, the doctor nodded. “Yes, but this is a rather delicate subject. We weren’t sure how, uh…” He cleared his throat, eyes flickering toward Katsuki.

“How I would react? Is that what you were going to say?” Katsuki sneered, mouth cutting a razor sharp line. “You think anything is going to make me not want my pup, is that it? Full offense, but you don’t fucking know anything about me. So tell me what you’re so worried I’m going to react badly over.”

Swallowing again, the doctor cleared his throat. Worry and fear pierced straight through his scent when before Izuku hadn’t even been able to smell the alpha. Katsuki really was marvel. “Your baby was born with a birth defect known as spina bifeda. Do you know what that is?” Katsuki and Izuku didn’t answer, eyes now trained solely on the doctor. Clearing his throat for a second time, he gave a brief explanation before saying, “From the tests we’ve run, we have determined that it’s not a severe case. His brain seems fully functional, no sign of water.”

“But?” Katsuki snapped.

“But... it seems the mobility of his legs is non-existent. As he grows older, the condition may worsen or it may remain the same. What we know for sure at this moment is that he’ll never walk normally. There’s only so much our healers can do, but if the nervous system just didn’t develop correctly…” The doctor trailed off, looking between the two silent heroes. “He is going to need a lot of care, more than two pro-heroes may be able to give him. There are resources-”

“Shut up.” The doctor went silent with a clack of teeth, and Katsuki sighed, running a finger over Taiyo’s chubby cheek. “Not even you’re normal, baby. Sorry, but you’ll fit right in. Between the four of us, we’ve got three legs, six and a half arms, three sets of working ears and four pairs of eyes. Welcome to this dysfunctional family. Merry Christmas, you little heathen.”

Izuku was sure he’d never been more in love with Katsuki than in that moment. Laughing quietly, he asked, “I get everything else, but why six and a half arms? I’ve still got both of mine.”

Katsuki rolled his eyes, not looking up from Taiyo. “Yeah, and one of them barely functions. Hence, half.”

“Okay.” Izuku pressed a kiss to Katsuki’s cheek before turning to look back at the gawking doctor and nurse. “When can we take him home? Also, when can we get on a plane? We eventually have to go back to Japan.”

They could only sputter.

…..

“Katsumi Bakugou-Midoriya, you are not taking your brother on to the jungle gym. He’s too small right now. Bring him to me.”

With a huff, Sumi turned on a heel and returned to Katsuki and Izuku where they were sitting on the park bench with Kirishima and Mina. Their little boy, a few years younger than Sumi, pouted impatiently at the swings while Sumi very carefully unstrapped Taiyo and his papoose from her front.

“I know you want to include your brother in everything, but you have to wait for him to get bigger. It’s going to be a while before he can really play with you, alright?” Katsuki explained patiently, holding Taiyo up so Izuku could remove his papoose and sat him in his lap. Taiyo waved his fists, but had yet to kick out. Just as the doctor had said, Taiyo seemed to have no control over his legs, though he could still feel pain. After returning to Japan, they’d immediately started him on neuro-therapy, but they had no illusions that he’d ever walk normally. Now, they just planned for what they could do for him instead.

Sumi leaned in to press a kiss to Taiyo’s nose, and he crinkled his crimson eyes at her before batting at her with a closed fist. She laughed, dancing back with a whirl of skirts. “I understand. I’ll play with him when we get home then.” Spinning, she tore off across the playground and tackled her friend to the woodchips.

Mina laughed, phone at eye level as she recorded the entire debacle. “Yeah, that’s your guys’ child. Poor, Dai.”

Kirishima sighed, though happily, running a hand through his ever lengthening red hair. “Honestly.” He cut eyes towards the trio as Katsuki began to bounce Taiyo on his knee, the baby babbling nonsense the entire time. Reaching over, he allowed Taiyo to grip at his fingers. “You know, a lot of people are surprised. I keep trying to explain it, but no one ever believes Chako or me.”

“Hah? About what?” Katsuki asked, glancing away from Sumi to throw Kirishima a scowl.

“You know, that you kept Taiyo.”

“Yeah, even after all this time there are people who thought you’d give him up for adoption or something for being disabled,” Mina interjected, leaning around Kirishima to get her eyes on him, “I know you’ve been staying away from the news and stuff while you’re still on leave, but some of the headlines are absolute bonkers. When they ask me about it in interviews, I tell them straight up that everyone’s being an idiot.”

Katsuki rolled his eyes, eyelashes fluttering spectacularly, and Izuku sighed. “That would be kind of hypocritical of us, considering,” Izuku said, glancing at Sumi’s legs, bare metal because she’d refused to put on the synthetic skin or leggings that morning. “But that’s besides the point.”

“I mean,” Kirishima started, mouth skewing, “I don’t think they ever doubted you’d want to keep him, Deku.”

“And I’ll tell those vultures the exact same thing I told the doctor,” Katsuki interjected before Izuku had a chance to speak, “People don’t know fuck all about me.” He dropped his eyes back to the baby in his lap. “Taiyo was the best Christmas present I could have ever gotten. The only people who need to know that are the four of us. Everyone else can shove their opinions.”

Izuku felt heat press against his eyes, and he dropped his forehead against Katsuki’s shoulder as Mina laughed and said, “You’ve gotten soft in your motherhood, Kats.”

Instead of his usual response, Izuku heard Katsuki say, “Yeah, probably.”

Izuku laughed happily against his shoulder, grinning like the in-love fool he was.

[multiharlot]

angel || reid/emily x angel!reader (6)

summary: y/n must cope with being human. as she adjusts to life on earth, she must also continue her mission in finding her true soulmate.

warnings: depression and cursing. also, this one feel short to me. sdjkfsl sorry if it is.

series masterlist

masterlist

part 1 | part 5

third person pov

y/n laid on her stomach, her curtains closed and her phone face down on the dresser. the tears silently streamed down her face as the music played gently from her overhead projector. her friends stood anxiously outside her door, unsure of wether or not they should go in. she’d been on earth for about a week now and nobody’s seen or heard from her since she was released from the hospital four days ago. 

“should we just...go in?” reid asks, looking at his teammates. 

“i’m not kickin’ her door down, kid.”

“no...no i have a key.” he chuckles awkwardly, holding up the key she had made for him before all of this ever began. 

“oh.” emily nods, pursing her lips. 

reid nods his head, stepping forward and unlocking the door and calling out for the girl. she wanted to respond, she really did, but she couldn’t find it in herself to use her voice. the candles she had lit had burnt out and her bedroom no longer smelled like roses, but like smoke. the fairy lights on the wall flickered on and off as she just laid underneath her comforter. she hadn’t moved herself in over 24 hours. she didn’t know how exhausting being human was. she now understood what it was like to be tired and weak. she felt like she had no power, and technically, she didn’t. she was in so much pain both physically and emotionally. everything she’d known was gone. she didn’t know how to give up the only life she’d ever known. 

“do you guys smell that? it’s candle smoke...and a lot of it.” jj frowns as she stuck her nose up into the air. 

“it’s so...dark.” garcia sighs as she opens the curtains in her friend’s living room. 

“her fridge is...completely empty. and the only thing in her sink are empty water glasses.” derek says as he walks around her kitchen. 

“she probably isn’t used to the fact that eating is something she has to do now. angel’s didn’t need to eat. they only ate for recreational purposes, remember?” emily sighs.

“or she’s not eating because she’s depressed. she had her wings ripped from her back. i’d be depressed too.” derek quickly responds, wiping his finger across the dusty table. 

as the team continued to profile their friend, reid slipped up the stairs towards her bedroom. he knocked softly before pushing open the door. he saw her laying flat against the mattress, her bare back exposed with her swelling red scars staring him right in the eye. he sighed, taking a seat next to her and he placed his fingers in her hair. combing through it softly. 

“hey” he says softly.

they sat there for just a moment before emily popped her head in the doorway, the team following suit. 

“i’m so tired” y/n mumbles sadly into her pillow as the tears continued to stream silently down her face. 

“i know, baby. i know.” emily coos, kneeling down in front of her face and wiping away at her sticky cheeks. 

“it hurts.” y/n whimpers, causing a pain to pull at their chests. 

spencer leans over, picking up the bottles of antibiotics and pain medications. he holds up the bottles to the team. mouthing to them that she hadn’t taken a single one. 

“hey...come on. let’s sit up, huh?” emily smiles softly, pushing y/n’s messy hair from her face. 

“we brought you some food. courtesy of mr. david rossi himself. he and hotch watch you to call them when you’re feeling better.” derek smiles, holding up the plastic bag. 

“he made you farfalle. those little bow tie pastas you like.” garcia smiles, taking a seat on the edge of her bed. 

y/n clutches her untied top to her body as emily gently helps sit her up. y/n whimpers slightly as she pushes herself upwards, stretching the scars on her back. 

“here.” spencer says as he reaches forward, grabbing the strings of her tank top and gently tying them around her neck and waist, leaving the middle strings untied. 

“thank you.” she says softly as emily squeezes y/n’s hand lightly, tucking her loose strands of hair behind her ears.

“there you go. how about we eat a little and get some medicine in you, yeah?” emily says as she smiles softly at the broken girl in front of her. 

her friends weren’t entirely sure what to do. how do they console the woman who used to be their guardian angel? how do they heal the one who was meant to be the one healing them?

y/n nodded her head as she scooted closer to reid, patting the empty space beside her for emily to crawl in. at the back of everyone’s minds, they couldn’t help but wonder about the soulmate situation and what exactly this meant for them. but that wasn’t important right now. because y/n couldn’t even get out of bed, let alone think about love. jj smiled softly as she sat against the wall behind y/n and began brushing softly through her hair. and garcia pulled out a small basket of nail polishes, scooting over slightly as derek sat on the other end of her bed, opening garcia’s laptop and connecting it to y/n’s overhead projector.

“you guys don’t have to do thi-” y/n begins to say, but is quickly cut off when reid shoves a forkful of pasta into her mouth. 

“yes we do. you’ve done so much for us. let us do this for you.” jj smiles as she pulls up y/n’s hair into a neat ponytail.

y/n’s eyes begin to well up again as she chewed the pasta, her jaw already tiring from the chewing. 

“so, what sounds better to you. romance, action, or comedy?” derek smiles, turning the laptop screen towards the girl. 

y/n simply shrugs, swallowing the pasta and reid follows up with another forkful. she blushes lightly as she opens her mouth, taking the pasta in. 

“i can feed myself, spenny.” she says, covering her mouth. 

he chuckles, blushing a deep red as he nods his head. 

“yeah...i know. but everyone’s doing something and i didn’t just want to sit here.” he shrugs. 

“i’m not doing anything either.” emily quickly butts in, making y/n smile. 

“ah, there’s that smile.” jj mumbles as she finishes slicking back the small baby hairs. 

“i can feel the sun shining brighter already.” garcia sighs happily as she continues painting the girl’s toenails a soft yellow. 

y/n pauses for a moment, her mind running to what abba and gabriel could possibly be doing right now. her hand unconsciously traveled up to her golden cross necklace, gripping it tightly. 

“alright, i chose mamma mia because you really like ABBA.” derek chuckles, making the fragile girl smile and nod her head. 

“yeah...i do.”

y/n’s pov

the bullpen was slightly empty, seeing as it was 6pm and the team was barely making their return from their latest case. i walk over to emily’s desk, plopping myself on top of it, swinging my legs back and forth as i wait for the the rest of the team to show. as i’m waiting, i feel a gentle hand place itself onto my arm. 

“hey pretty girl.” derek smiles as he seats himself into his chair. 

“hi derek.”

“feeling better?”

i nod, criss crossing my legs and turning to face his desk that was placed directly in front of emily’s. 

“i cleaned out my house today. went grocery shopping. and i’m in the process of getting a new job. call it a miracle, but somehow, that old flower shop by my house closed down. so i’m thinking of opening dc’s first botanical tea shop.” i say, smiling excitedly. 

“what? that’s great!” derek chuckles, walking over and wrapping his arms around me, being extra careful not to hold me too tightly or touch the scars. 

he pulls away from me, ruffling the top of my hair. i pout, flattening it down. i hear jj laugh loudly and my head turns towards the door where jj, emily, and spencer walk in with their go-bags in their hands. emily’s eyes fall on mine and her smile widens.

“hey dolly. what’re you doing here?“ she asks as she places her things down onto her chair. 

“just wanted to see you guys. plus, garcia and i have plans to get our nails done.” i smiled as jj walks over to me, wrapping her arms gently around my shoulders. 

“well, we’re happy you’re here.” she smiles as she pulls away from me. 

rossi and hotch walk over, both with wide smiles on their faces. 

“mi bella, it’s lovely to see you.” rossi smiles as he places a gentle kiss on the side of my head. 

“hi” i gush, squeezing his shoulders tightly. 

“you feeling better?” hotch asks as he leans in to give me a quick hug. 

i nod, rolling my tense shoulders slightly. 

“and how’s ummm...” spencer trails off, waving his finger towards his back. 

“better. they’re all healed up now. but...it still hurts sometimes. both physically and mentally.” i sigh, pulling my cardigan tightly around my shoulders. 

“i’m hereee!” garcia squeals as she runs towards us, her things in her arms. 

“well it was good to see you, y/n” hotch says, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder. 

“bye hotch. say hi to jack for me!” i shout after him as he closes his office door. 

“i’ll see you tomorrow morning?” emily asks as she places her hand on the small of my back. 

i nod, hopping off the desk, wobbling slightly. 

“what’s tomorrow morning?” spencer asks, as an awkward tension fills the room. 

“i’m taking her to breakfast. it’s her favorite meal of the day.” em smiles, and spencer nods his head. 

“just make sure you don’t take her to the greenhouse. we went there once and she’s not a fan. but she likes lady camellia. she’s got a soft spot for good tea and clotted cream.” spencer slyly suggests as he sips nonchalantly on his coffee. 

emily raises her eyebrow at the messy haired genius and i clear my throat awkwardly as i nod my head, looping my arm into garcia’s. 

“we have to go our we’ll be late. i’ll see you guys later. and ummm...have a good night. drive safely, please.” i mumble, turning on my heels and pulling garcia out of the doors and into the elevators. 

“so...emily?”

i sigh, shaking my head. 

“i thought so. then i became fully human. and now...it’s literally like a feel such a strong connection to them both. and i don’t even...i don’t know. i need time to figure it out. but it all just feels so wrong to me. i don’t want to mess things up between them.”

“hey...they’ll understand. just talk to them, okay?”

“yeah...talk to them. i can do that.”

turns out. i, actually, cannot do it at all. 

taglist:

@dreatine​ @slytherinintj13​ @mileven-reddie​ @eleventhdoctorsangel​ @haileymorelikestupid

[stellalux-universe]

Without You

Summary: It was just a stupid fight, that's all it was. But when your passion runs as high as theirs does, sometimes that's all it takes to rip you apart. The real question is, are you brave enough to try again?

Hello!

This is my first Crüe fic and I was so excited to write it because I adore Tommy and Nikki together but then I started writing and what was supposed to be like 8,000 words max grew out of my control because it seems I'm incapable of writing anything short.

So what was the end result? Nearly 50 damn pages of angst and sadness and emotion. A little happy, fun stuff here and there too, but still!

In any case, a couple of things to know, this story is set in an au where hair metal is seeing it's heyday in the current year, so modern timeline and it is A/B/O because I have been dying to explore writing with omega!Tommy and alpha!Nikki. Hopefully I did it some justice. Also, the timeline skips back and forth between 2018 and 2019, all of the past is in italics just in case you miss the date change!

This is also posted on my AO3 under StellaLux if you would prefer to read it there! I just thought, “maybe some people are on tumblr but not AO3? What the hell, I’ll post it tumblr to get like 2 notes just for kicks!”

Enjoy!

~May 15th, 2019~

In retrospect, Tommy supposes that this entire situation was his own damn fault.

Not that he would ever say that out loud. Introspective contemplation of his past choices and mistakes have never really been his style. In his experience, such things only led to a tortured mind and put you into a depressive mood and that was definitely not his vibe. He couldn’t go back in time to change anything, so he may as well not worry about it anymore.

Even still, he has to admit that if he hadn’t been so bone dead tired a day ago after not only a photo shoot but also a reshoot on top of that because the fucking photographer hadn’t liked the fucking lighting, he probably wouldn’t be in this mess.

Because then, when Tom had called to beg him to attend this party for the band he had just signed, he would have had the wit to ask the most basic but important question, “Which band is it?”

But Zutaut had called him right after he had changed into his street clothes. Right after shooting from 5 in the fucking morning to 6 in the evening, when he was ready to go home, crawl into bed and not wake up for a full 24 hours. Tom was lucky he had even answered honestly. When his phone rang, Tommy had looked at it with nothing short of absolute disgust and had wanted so badly to just ignore him.

Tom Zutaut wasn’t a person that people had hard line opinions about. Despite having a cool job that usually got people’s attention, the newest producer at Elektra records was, to put it as nicely as possible, an absolute fucking bore. He was the epitome of a brown paper bag, plain and bland, the kind of person who was just… there. Tommy didn’t particularly like him, but he didn’t dislike him either.

Had Tom been anyone else, Tommy would have declined the call and continued unencumbered with his plan to get home as soon as possible to pass out. But it was Tom, and despite thinking the producer was probably the most yawn-inducing individual he had ever met, Tommy couldn’t ignore him and the reason was simple. Tommy owed Tom. He owed him a lot.

Tom had come into his life when Tommy was at his lowest; he had just broken up with the man that he was pretty sure was meant to be his mate, was forced to leave his new, fledgling band that he was in love with, and was living on a friend’s couch. Tom had seen him at a party one night and after talking for just a few minutes had gotten him a role as an extra in a music video. That cameo had caught the eye of an up and coming photographer and landed him his first photoshoot and that photoshoot had landed him a 5 year contract with a pretty big modeling company. It wasn’t necessarily what Tommy had envisioned for his life, but it paid the bills for a nice apartment, a nice car, and a fairly glamorous lifestyle so he couldn’t really complain.

And he couldn’t ignore Tom, who had put everything in motion for him.

~May 14th, 2019~

Tommy feels like crying when his phone rings. He’s so damn tired and he barely has enough in him to drive himself home, let alone entertain a conversation but the caller id says it’s Tom and despite not typically caring to follow the rules of social niceties, Tommy would feel bad about ignoring the other man who has helped him so much. So he picked up reluctantly and threw himself down into a chair in his stylist’s dressing room so he could at least sit through whatever banality that Zutaut had to throw at him.

“Hey Tom.”

“Tommy! You are exactly who I wanted to talk to!” Tom’s voice is higher than normal and overly happy. The tone is familiar to Tommy, it’s the tone the other man takes when he’s about to ask for a favor that he’s going to wheedle him into doing by throwing the fact that Tommy owes him in his face.

Tommy sighs, eyes drooping as he tapped the fingers of his right hand against his jean clad legs to a beat of a song in his head, “Yeah, I figured, you know, since it was me you called.”

Tom gives a nervous chuckle and when he speaks again, his words are stilted and hesitant like they always are when he tries to cash in his IOUs, “Yeah, I guess that’s true. Well, uhh, I kind of need a favor.”

“Uh huh.” Tommy responded, eyes falling shut against his will as he waited for Tom to continue.

“You see, I just signed this band, and it’s my first major signing and they’re going to be fucking awesome Tommy, like seriously, they’re going to be huge and they’re right up your alley. Like, for real Tommy, you would love them, they’re so cool-“

“Tom, please, for the love of god. I’m literally like a minute from fucking passing out here, please just tell me what you want.” Tommy interrupts as he gets up to start walking to his car. He’s not paying much attention anyway so he may as well multitask.

“Oh shit, yeah, you had a job today. Hope that went well, I saw that stuff you did for Gucci last season. I don’t know much about that stuff but you looked great-”

“TOM!” Tommy growls into the phone, startling some of the people in the hallway. Tommy waves an apologetic hand and flashes a smile and they laugh and shake their heads at him.

“Yeah, okay, so here’s the thing, we’re throwing them this signing party to celebrate and introduce them to other people at the company and I really need some cred with these guys Tommy, so they’ll respect me-”

“You got them a record deal Tom, that’s not enough for them to respect you?” He rolls his eyes as he pushes his way out of the back door, waving to the security guard and walking over to where he parked his car.

“These guys are crazy Tommy, the first time I sat down to talk to them, they had a woman underneath the table who tried to surprise blow me!”

Despite his exhaustion and the fact that he’s barely listening, Tommy snorts out a laugh at that because that’s fucking hilarious. Thinking about a straight laced guy like Zutaut in a situation like that… his reaction had probably been priceless. He gets exactly what Tom is getting at now. The type of wildness that comes with that kind of activity, those guys probably see Tom as a fucking doormat.

Which he is, but still.

“And what do you think I can do about this Tom?”

“Well, you see, I was thinking that if I show up at the party with a gorgeous omega model, maybe it will earn me a little bit of credibility.”

Tommy groans as he opens his car door and slides in. He could honestly probably afford a driver and right about now that sounded like heaven but there was something he absolutely adored about driving around LA and he didn’t want to give that up just to be boujee and lazy.

“So you want to use my looks and profession to make a good impression on some wild rock stars? I really don’t know how much of an impact I’ll have Tom.”

“Tommy. Seriously. Have you seen you? You’re literally one of the most attractive people I’ve ever seen and I work with a ton of attractive people. You literally just did a campaign with Gucci last season. You’re the perfect blend of ridiculously sexy and cool that these guys will appreciate! If I walked into the party with you on my arm, it’d be a good start to getting them to listen to me a little bit more.”

Tom’s voice is plaintive, almost whiny and the flattery would be nice if the beta didn’t say it in such a matter of fact way. That was part of the problem with Zutaut, Tommy thought. There wasn’t an ounce of passion in the man. Everything was a calculation, everything had a purpose, and Tommy’s attractiveness was just something to be used. It made him a fairly shrewd businessman and definitely contributed to why he was able to make producer at such a young age, but it was also the reason for the current predicament he was in. With his wild rock star clients not giving two shits about what he said because he was such a damn square.

Tommy starts the engine and there’s a brief pause in their conversation as his phone pairs with his car’s system and then Tom’s voice comes back, “Please Tommy. Last favor, I swear. We’re even-steven after this.”

That was familiar, Tommy’s pretty sure Zutaut has said that the last four times he has asked for favors. Still, it was just a party and Tommy was still a sucker for parties. And honestly, if it ended this conversation so Tommy could focus on driving himself home to sleep, he’d agree to anything.

“Fine.”

“Awesome! Thanks Tommy, this is going to help me so much, you have no idea. Try to look your best okay? Like total knockout. The party is on-”

Tommy sighs in frustration for what has to be the billionth time that day and cuts the beta off as he continues to prattle on, “I’m hanging up on you now Zutaut. I need to focus on driving so I don’t fall asleep at the wheel and crash. Just text me the damn details.”

And with that, Tommy presses end.

Tom texts him as soon as he hangs up to tell him that he would pick him up at 7pm the next night and to remind him in a completely blatant way to “dress up”. Tommy guesses that’s Zutaut’s way of asking him to dress slutty to appeal to a bunch of rock stars and he immediately regrets agreeing to go at all. Tom is generally annoying to be around for any extended length of time and it grates on his nerves when people treat him like he’s only worth having around to ‘look good’. It comes with the territory when your job is built around your physical appearance, but that doesn’t mean that the people in Tommy’s life should treat him as such and he certainly didn’t tolerate it when they did.

He feels better after he wakes up the next day a little after 1pm. He hadn’t even bothered to change when he had gotten home, had just shed his pants and collapsed into his bed, so he feels a little gross while he walks out of his bedroom in yesterday’s shirt and underwear to head to the kitchen to make coffee and get some food.

He pauses in the living room when his eyes catch the drum kit shining in the afternoon sun. It’s tucked away in the corner between two large windows, unassuming and gleaming in a way that pulls at his heart and makes his fingers twitch.

He hasn’t played in a year.

It’s tortuous sometimes. Drums are ingrained into his very being, as much a part of him as the blood that rushes through his veins when he’s hitting out a beat. He misses it with a severity that’s intense and all-encompassing but the pain he feels when he looks at the kit now dampens his desire until he can’t summon the will to pick up his sticks again.

He can barely remember back to the time when all he felt when he looked at his drum kit was joy and pride. It’s there, back behind the pain and the heartache and the sadness. A memory of a room and three other guys, hard hitting vocals, a shredding guitar, his own limbs heavy with exhaustion but adrenaline lighting him up as he pounds a beat out hard. A memory of a bassist with pale green eyes who gives him a heart stopping smile when they come to a break.

It’s only been a year, but Tommy has shoved those memories down so far into his heart that the men in them feel like ghosts to him. He sometimes feels like a ghost himself. The Tommy Lee who so loved his drums, who was wild, and excitable and so, so in love with life was dead.

Now all that’s left is this stereotype of a tall, pretty omega model in Hollywood who can’t even think about pursuing his passions because of how much it hurts him to remember.

Tommy scoffs at himself and tears his eyes away from his drum set, walking into the kitchen and letting muscle memory guide him into making coffee and reheating leftovers from the day before as he thinks that this is exactly why he doesn’t focus on the past. It’s just too damn depressing.

~January 18th, 2018~

Tommy is nearly bouncing in his seat at the diner in excitement. He keeps throwing little glances at the man a few booths away to make sure it’s who he thinks it is, but Tommy’s pretty fucking confident that it is.

He looks at his friend’s amused face across from him and the girl laughs softly at what has to be the goofiest of hopeful expressions that is morphing his features.

They had just gotten out of the concert they had met up for, and Tommy was already a ball of energy because London was one of his favorite up and coming bands and the show had been sick but as soon as they had been seated after deciding to get some food, he had caught sight of a familiar face and then proceeded to steadily lose his shit.

“Seriously, that’s him right? That’s Nikki fucking Sixx sitting just a few booths away from me?” Tommy harshly whispers, as if the other man was paying any attention to anything other than the paper spread out in front of him and the tissue he kept pressing to his bloody nose.

His friend just grins at him, “Looks like it, yeah.”

Tommy fidgets and bites his lip, “Should I go over and talk to him?”

The girl across from him nods, small little wicked smirk on her face. She’s a good friend but she loves watching him make a fool of himself, which is no doubt exactly what she thinks he’s about to do now.

“Yeah, you should. I’m just gonna get a milkshake and get gone.”

Tommy is already sliding out of his seat as she speaks, giving her a thumbs up and a ‘see you later.’

He walks over as confidently as he can with his nerves flaring up. Tommy isn’t one to be shy or embarrassed by much, but he’s eighteen and the older bassist is probably one of the coolest musicians on the scene right now and that’s enough to make him jittery. It also doesn’t help that the man is probably the most gorgeous alpha that Tommy has ever actually seen in public. Dark hair, killer jaw line, intense pale green eyes and just as intense alpha aura, Tommy practically shivers the closer he gets. Tommy could hardly be called inexperienced, he’s been with a couple of alpha’s before but it’s always been with people his own age, fumbling around, figuring out how their biology even worked. But the vibe that Nikki gives off is nothing like the alpha’s Tommy has been with, and the omega in him is intensely attracted to that.

He stops right in front of the table the other man is sitting at, bounces on his heels a few times and decides to just go for it, “Hey, that was badass dude. The show, not the nose… but the nose was pretty badass too.”

Tommy almost blushes as Nikki looks up at him while he rambles. The other man doesn’t say anything for a second, just drags his eyes over Tommy a few times before he finally replies in a drawling voice, accent something that Tommy can’t really identify, “The singer’s an asshole.”

Tommy releases a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding when he hears Nikki’s reply and feels a little more confident, “I know. I saw. Hey, fuck him though, he deserved it.”

Nikki gives him a nod and goes back to scanning the paper in front of him, he seems to have lost interest or something and Tommy bites his lip before blurting out, “I got your poster on my bedroom wall.”

The alpha looks up at him incredulously then, raising an eyebrow and letting a small, delicious smirk stretch across his lips when Tommy closes his eyes and groans at how that sounded. “I can’t believe I just said that. I mean, fuck, I didn’t mean it, you know, like that, I just meant-“

Nikki chuckles as he stumbles over his words and shakes his head, “Take the fucking poster down man, London’s dead.”

Tommy opens his mouth to reply when the waitress comes over and stops on the other side of Nikki’s table, “What can I get you boys?”

Tommy blinks and slides into the booth across from Nikki, giving the man a smile when he gets a confused look from the bassist. The alpha just gives a small smirk again before looking up at the older beta waitress with a charming smile, “Can I please get a Jack and coke Dottie?”

The waitress rolls her eyes but writes it down regardless and Tommy gets the feeling that maybe Nikki is a regular here and she’s used to the request. The woman looks at him then, “And for you honey?”

Tommy smiles brightly at the woman and is satisfied when her lips tug upwards in response, always happy to make others a little happier, “Blueberry pancakes, please.”

“Of course hun.” She says lightly as she walks away and when Tommy looks back at Nikki, the bassist is staring at him with this intense gleam in his eyes that wasn’t there before. Sitting across from him now, Tommy can make out his scent prominently, and it’s something that goes straight to his head. Nikki smells like the aftermath of a storm, when the trees and the soil are wet with rain water and everything is saturated in bold, rich color. Tommy wonders if Nikki can smell him too, he’s been told before that has a particularly pleasant scent, he wonders if that’s why the bassist is looking at him with more interest than he had before.

Tommy watches in rapt attention as Nikki leans forward and starts talking with more passion than previously, “My next band is going to be something no one’s ever fucking seen before.”

The alpha’s eyes drop back down to the paper in front of him. Tommy studies it more closely then and sees ads for musicians looking for bands. One in particular catches his eye, Mick Mars: loud, aggressive guitarist and without thinking he whips one of his drumsticks out from his belt and uses it to point at the ad, “That dude looks pretty cool.”

Nikki uses the pen he has to circle it and Tommy feels joy flood him when the older man takes his suggestion before Nikki leans back against the booth and regards him with a curious look, head tilted slightly to the side, “Do you carry those around with you everywhere?”

“Yep.” Tommy smiles, popping the p at the end of the word playfully and thrilling when Nikki chuckles at him.

The waitress is coming back then and she sits a coke and a small bottle of Jack in front of Nikki, “Here you go kid. Your pancakes will be out soon honey.”

Nikki thanks the older woman gratefully and proceeds to twist the top of the liquor bottle and instead of pouring it into the coke like Tommy had expected him to, proceeds to down the contents in one go, his eyes never leaving Tommy’s as the omega bites his lip and starts twirling his drumstick in his fingers. It’s a habit he had developed ever since he had taught himself how to do it, especially when he was nervous or stressed and the way Nikki was looking at him was making him both in the most electric way possible.

He sees Nikki eye the movement with a slightly impressed look on his face and it makes Tommy giddy to have caused it, “Where did you learn to do that?”

Tommy does blush at that but he’s honest when says, “High school marching band.”

Nikki full out laughs at that, not meanly, but in surprise, like he hadn’t expected Tommy to be that honest and it makes the omega grin when he adds, “But hey, I rock too.”

Nikki is leaning forward and smirks then and Tommy feels the warmth of arousal spread through him when the bassist lowers his voice and says, “I bet you do babe.”

A plate is sat in front of him and it makes Tommy blink in confusion as the moment between him and Nikki is interrupted, Dottie smiling at him gently for startling him. He looks back up and Nikki has gone back to looking through ads, but Tommy sees the little smile pulling at his lips and it makes him grin again, pushing the pancakes more toward the center of the table to get Nikki’s attention.

“Help me eat these pancakes and tell me more about this band.”

Nikki full out smiles at him then, and Tommy knows that he’s going to be gone for this man in no time flat.

It only takes six full days in fact.

Nikki had pretty much demanded he be his band’s drummer as soon as he found out that Tommy had drummed for Suite 19 before the band had dissolved.

“I saw you guys once. Shitty band but you have some real fucking talent babe.”

Tommy’s pretty sure he had fucking beamed with hearts in his eyes when he heard Nikki say that.

They spent the next couple days meeting up and talking about their vision for what was going to be their band. Nikki always said that, always called it “our band” and not “my band” and Tommy always felt pride move through him when he did. They spent their mornings and nights planning in Nikki’s shitty little efficiency that Tommy adored just like he adored when Nikki would pull him in close with an arm around his shoulders on the couch to look through lyrics. Tommy could see the way Nikki’s eyes would follow him as he walked through Nikki’s home, following his body when he would get up to grab them beer from the small refrigerator that was against the far wall from the couch. There was a hazy atmosphere that settled over them when they were together, it was palpable and charged and Tommy knew they could both feel it.

Their sixth day hanging out together they were sitting outside on the fire escape, taking a break between seeing guitarists and sharing Nikki’s last cigarette when a breeze blew past them. Tommy tilted his head back, enjoying the brisk air blowing his curls around his face but when he opened his eyes, he was immediately met with Nikki’s eyes squeezed closed and body tense.

Tommy put a hand on the bassist’s shoulder and squeezed at the muscle gently, “Hey, you okay Nik?”

Nikki breathed in a deep lungful of air and he smiled in what had to be the softest way Tommy had seen so far, “I’m good babe, you just…”

The alpha trailed off for a minute, the look on his face contemplating as Tommy prompted, “I just?”

Nikki shook his head with that smile, fingers coming up to brush Tommy’s hair out of his face, “You just smell really fucking good T.”

“Oh.” Tommy breaths out, heart jolting and beating fast at the admission. Before he could think to reply to that though, an absolutely shitty little hatchback was screeching to a halt in front of Nikki’s complex and a short beta with jet black hair was grumbling as he tried to get an amp out of the trunk.

Tommy and Nikki both snorted out a laugh but Tommy, being Tommy, was already running down the stairs to help the shorter man out, “Whoa, dude. You got it? Here for the audition?”

The older man levels a deadpan look at him that Tommy took to meant, ‘well no shit genius’, but he sticks with a simple, “Yep.”

Tommy helps him get the damn amp out of the trunk and the man looks at him with a scrutinizing glance, “You the singer?”

The omega laughs at that, “Absolutely not. That’s funny though, drummer.”

The beta gives him an odd look, “Pretty scrawny for a drummer.”

Tommy narrows his eyes in response. He feels Nikki moving in behind him but that doesn’t stop the annoyance from filling him. He doesn’t know this beta, he doesn’t know if he’s the type who means ‘It’s unusual for an omega to be a drummer’ when he said what he said but just for good measure he asks, “Do you have a fucking problem with that?”

Nikki is looking at him, Tommy sees him from the corner of his eyes but he doesn’t move his narrowed gaze away from the beta’s who looks satisfied at the challenge, “I meant scrawny, drummer, I didn’t mean omega. And I don’t have a fucking problem with either as long as you can fucking play good fucking music.”

Tommy’s whole demeanor changes at that, bright smile back on his face and he grabs one side of the amp and motions for the beta to do the same so they can carry it up the stairs, “Good, would have hated to give you a no before even seeing you play, old man.”

The beta growls at him at that, “Fucking teenager.”

Tommy just laughs, “I’m Tommy, the lazy fuck behind you carrying wires is Nikki.”

The short man gives the barest hint of a smile, like he doesn’t want to but just can’t help it. “Mick.”

Mick is in from the first riff of his guitar and as they play Tommy sneaks glances at Nikki just to see the nearly manic grin on the bassist’s face. Every so often their eyes will meet, and the passion Tommy finds in their locked gaze overwhelms him so much he has to look back down at his kit so he won’t blush. He’s pretty sure he still does. And he’s pretty sure that Nikki sees.

He thinks about Nikki that night while he’s at home. He’s probably going to have to move out soon. His parents don’t approve of him wanting to skip college to be in a band and as loving as they are, they aren’t going to let him live in their house unless they feel like he’s working towards something worthwhile.

But that’s not important right now. What’s important is that he’s pretty sure he’s in love with his bandmate. Tommy has a bad habit of falling too hard and too fast for people. He thinks maybe it’s a combination of his general enthusiasm for everything and his general love for people that makes him the way he is but this doesn’t feel like his usual falling in, falling out routine.

The thing between him and Nikki is magnetic. Tommy feels like he’s stuck in the bassist’s orbit, completely unable and unwilling to move too far away from him. There is just something inside of him that slots perfectly into place when he’s around Nikki and by the look in the alpha’s eyes when Tommy catches him staring, he’s pretty sure Nikki feels the same.

A few weeks of pining later he’s letting himself into Nikki’s efficiency, it’s about 11am so he knows that the bassist is probably still asleep but he hasn’t let that stop him the previous mornings and it’s not going to stop him today so he opens and shuts the door and takes off his shoes before flinging himself at the alpha who is spread across the mattress on the floor.

Nikki groans loudly and starts swatting at Tommy, because he knows it’s the younger boy, this routine becoming way too familiar but instead of laughing and rolling off of him like usual, Tommy just laughs and straddles his hips.

“Nikki, Nik, listen! I was up all night thinking about this,” Tommy starts, not even phased when Nikki tiredly tries to hit him for waking him up, “Listen Nikki! We’ve been looking for a singer and I thought about it and I think I know a guy. I actually went to high school with him, he’s absolutely perfect-”

Tommy yelps when Nikki tries to roll over and dislodge him from his perch so he can go back to sleep but Tommy is stubborn and he tightens his legs around the older man’s hips and whines out, “Nikki!”

The drummer feels Nikki go stiff as a board underneath him and when he meets his gaze, Tommy feels frozen, absolutely pinned by the intensity in the bassist’s green eyes.

“Nikki…” Tommy practically breaths, kind of scared by how silent and still the man underneath him is and that fear has him rambling pretty quickly, “Shit, I’m sorry Nik, I shouldn’t have woken you up, sorry if I annoyed you, I know you’re always telling me that you would rather I wake you up later in the afternoon and I never listen which must be irritating but I just- mmph!”

Tommy doesn’t even have time to process what is happening when Nikki suddenly surges to sit up, one hand firm on his hip to keep him stable on his lap and the other twisting in his hair to hold him still as the bassist presses their lips together in a sudden kiss.

It lasts seconds but when they part Tommy is panting like it had been hours and there’s a flush on Nikki’s cheeks when he sees the surprise in Tommy’s big brown eyes, “You, uh, you have this habit of licking your bottom lip when you nervous ramble you know? It’s really, really fucking cute.”

It’s Nikki’s turn to squirm a bit as Tommy sits there in his lap in shock and the alpha swallows before he starts talking again, “I know I probably shouldn’t have, you know, just fucking went for it without asking you for your permission or some shit like that first but fuck Tommy, I just feel, I feel so right around you. You’re so fucking beautiful, and passionate and talented and you’re not fucking annoying so don’t say that again and I just-”

It’s Tommy’s turn to interrupt him now, hands burying themselves in Nikki’s hair and pulling him forward to connect their lips again and Tommy moans when he feels Nikki’s arms wrap around his waist to pull him as close as possible, chest to chest as the bassist licks at his lower lip and dips it inside when Tommy opens his mouth. Tommy feels delirious and so fucking high that he whines in protest when Nikki breaks their kiss to breath.

Tommy laughs happily after he catches his breath, wrapping his arms around Nikki’s neck and throwing them down to lay back against the mattress, “What the fuck took you so long?!”

Nikki is laughing then too, rolling them over to hover on top of him and press kisses into every inch of Tommy’s face and neck and the omega giggles at the action but releases a sharp gasp when Nikki suddenly bites down underneath the scent gland just behind his ear.

“Sorry for making you wait babe,” Nikki’s speaks into his ear, lips brushing against the lobe and voice so low and gritty that Tommy feels a wave of heat spreading from his lower body, flush blooming along his cheeks, “Let me make it up to you.”

And he certainly proceeds to do that.

Life becomes a whirlwind for Tommy, they get his old high school friend Vince Neil to join their band and soon they’re Mötley Crüe. They spend their days writing music and preparing to take Sunset Strip by storm and they spend their nights partying and meeting people and raising hell. Tommy gets a job as a waiter at a strip bar just down the street which the rest of the boys love because it means they can drink for free during Tommy’s shifts and he, Nikki, and Vince pull their resources to get a small two bedroom apartment right on the Strip.

Tommy and Nikki are inseparable. They are so caught up in each other most of the time that they often can’t keep their hands to themselves and more than a few times Vince has to yell at them to take it to their bedroom so he doesn’t have to watch them fucking.

Nikki surprises Tommy every day with how thoughtful he can be, taking him on dates to the beach even though he hates it because he knows Tommy loves it, always picking a movie that he thinks Tommy will like even if it’s something Nikki probably wouldn’t otherwise be interested in, murmuring praises against Tommy’s skin in the early morning sun until he sits up to grab the book he keeps by the bed, arms wrapped around Tommy’s waist as the drummer sits in his lap as he writes out lyrics all about Tommy. Nikki will hum out a melody and Tommy will listen intently and fill in the spaces with a beat that he hits out on Nikki’s arms or legs, whatever is closest and the bassist will beam at him and nine times out of ten, tackle him against the bed. Nikki looks at him like he’s the most precious fucking thing in the world and when he’s with Nikki, he feels like he is.

They go into summer with a plan and a full list of songs to take over the world with. Tommy has his alpha, his lover, his absolute best friend by his side. He has his band, his chosen family, and his whole future ahead of him.

Of course, life can never be that fucking easy, can it?

~May 15th, 2019~

It’s a little after 6pm and Tommy has just gotten out of the shower, sipping from a bottle of Rosé as he stands in front of his open closet, music blasting from his speakers. Wine isn’t typically his drink of choice, but he hadn’t restocked his liquor cabinet and a few bottles had been left in his fridge from the last time he had friends over, so wine will have to do for now. If he was going to spend the rest of the night letting people assume that Tom fucking Zutaut was his date, he was at least going to get hammered. May as well start early.

Tom had asked him to dress nice, which Tommy translated in his head as “please dress slutty so my new rock star clients are envious of me for landing you as a date”.

Tommy grabs out his favorite black jeans. They’re torn to hell all up and down the legs and honestly show more of his skin than they cover up but they’re also super comfortable. He had thought about the soft leather pants right next to them but everyone was probably going to be in leather if this was a party to celebrate signing a new rock band and his stylist’s voice was sounding in his ear saying ‘dare to be different Tommy!’

With that catch phrase in mind, he pulls out some fishnet stockings too. He slides them on before pulling his jeans up carefully, mindful of the rips and tears and looks back at the mirror in the corner of his room. He lets a small smirk pulls at his lips as he takes in the band of his fishnets settling at the smallest dip of his waist and remaining visible for about three inches before disappearing below his jeans, making reappearances through the rips and tears along his legs. Yeah, that will do nicely. For the top he picks out a black worn tee. It’s cropped, so it shows the fishnet off and it’s just oversized enough that the neckline is constantly dipping down his left shoulder and it would be almost plain if it weren’t for the beautiful embroidered red roses that stretched along the entire right shoulder. He doesn’t even remember what brand it is but he loves it and it’s simple and chic enough when paired with the lower half of his outfit.

He thinks he’s dressed well enough to turn a few heads so he works on taming his hair into soft waves, briefly toying with the idea of teasing it before deciding that it was too much work for the likes of Zutaut and he prefers it loose and natural anyway. He does just enough make up to even out his complexion, give him those smoky, bedroom eyes that his photographers love so much and darkens his lips with a long lasting burgundy red.

As he finishes his makeup, he finds himself thinking that this is first time in a year that he’s done anything related to music or musicians in general. Tom is the only one even remotely tied to the music industry that he still speaks to and that’s only because of everything the other man has done for him. He ghosted everyone tied to his previous life when he walked out on him a year ago and he avoided the music scene like the plague ever since.

Nikki. Tommy does his best to not think about the green eyed bassist but no matter what Tommy does, the alpha inevitably pops back into his thoughts. It must be a combination of his earlier nostalgia with his drums, the fact that he’s about to go to a party for some up and coming rock stars and the wine, Tommy thinks as he takes a shaky breath. There was no other reason to think about his ex. Nikki was his past. Sure, he still loved the man like he doubts he would love anyone again, still longed for him during his one night stands with piss poor alphas who couldn’t hold a damn candle to the bassist, still hurt every time he wondered what he was doing at that very instant.

But he wouldn’t ever see him again, and he just needed to deal with it and push past it and continue living his damn life. Half alive was better than nothing he supposed.

Tommy downs the last of his wine and touches up his lips one last time. He’s putting on a black choker and some long dangling earrings when he sees his phone go off in the corner of his eye.

He picks it up as he walks out of his bedroom, boots in hand, “Hello?”

“Hey Tommy, I’m outside.” Tom’s voice is nervous and it makes Tommy roll his eyes as he pulls on his black boots. The heels are pretty conservative, just two inches but they’re just tall enough to give a little swing to his hips as he walks.

“I’ll be right down.”

Tommy flips the switch on his stereo system and turns out his lights, he really doesn’t need anything else, so he slips his key into his pocket after he locks his door and spins his phone in his hand like he used to spin his sticks and walks down the hall to the elevator.

Zutaut has a nice car but like everything else even remotely cool that Tom owns, he only has it because he thinks it makes him look cool. Which to Tommy is just so fucking sad. Still, he slides into the passenger seat and laughs when Tom nods at him approvingly.

“You look good Tommy.” The beta says happily as he pulls away from the curb and proceeds with what has to be the slowest drive to the Hollywood Hills that Tommy has ever experienced.

“Thanks, you told me to, but thank you I guess. You look…” Tommy trails off as he takes in Tom’s outfit of choice, “Like you’re going to church.”

Tom frowns instantly and points to the seatbelt that Tommy had neglected when he got into the car. “I like to dress professionally when I’m around my clients.”

Tommy scoffs and flicks at Zutaut’s arm lightly, “It’s a party Tom. Who the fuck wears a cardigan to a rock n’ roll signing party?”

“California is chilly at night! You’ll be begging for this cardigan later on!” Tom protests and Tommy laughs.

“Hos don’t get cold Zutaut. All you had to wear was jeans and a t-shirt and it would have been better than this. At least take off the cardigan and roll up your sleeves. You look like a goddamn missionary.”

“I’m regretting this already. They think I’m a loser Tommy!” Tom whines and even though it’s annoying, Tommy feels a little bad for the guy. So he resolves to do his best as Tom’s fake date for the night to get him noticed a little.

“Well, they won’t think that for long. That’s why you invited me, right?” Tom looks at the omega briefly before looking back quickly at the road, pulling into a long circular driveway and joining the line of cars waiting to be valeted. Tommy can hear the music already, something heavy and loud and it moves through him and makes him grin already.

Tom for his part looks sick and Tommy wants to bash his head in. What a night he’s in for. Okay, he thinks, time to at least set some ground rules.

“Listen Tom. I’m okay with letting people assume what they want to, alright? But if anyone blatantly asks what we are, you will tell them that we are friends. Okay?” Tommy speaks slowly so the other man doesn’t misunderstand through his nerves.

Tom’s face screws up unhappily, “But I thought-”

“I’ll walk in there with you. I’ll let you get me a drink, and I’ll let you put your arm around my waist while you introduce me to these guys that you signed but letting people think what they want to think and letting you blatantly say that you’re fucking me are two totally different things. I’m not playing that game. That’s where I draw the line, okay?” Tommy thinks that he’s being fair. Besides, being friends with a model is almost as good as scoring with one right? Maybe not, but that’s all Tom’s getting so, he should probably make his peace with it now.

Tom nods sulkily as he pulls his car up to the front, “Okay.”

Tommy sighs before putting a smile on his face when his door is opened for him. The house is monstrous, beautiful in that very in your face kind of way that Tommy doesn’t really care for. He’s been here once before, it’s Tom’s boss’ house, but the party that’s going on now is way rowdier than the last one he had attended here and Tommy feels his smile becoming more real. At least he’ll probably have fun tonight. All he has to do is meet Tom’s new clients and then hopefully he can go off and get drunk and act his normal foolish self when they lose interest and move on.

Tommy nearly startles when he feels an arm wrapping around his waist before he realizes that it’s just Tom and going by the look on the man’s face, Tommy is going to need to be the one to lead here. So he walks confidently up the sidewalk, dragging Tom along with the grip the other man has on his waist, and doesn’t even bother knocking on the door, pushing them open and walking inside like he owns the damn place.

“This is ridiculous.” Tom mutters under his breath so only Tommy can hear.

“This is awesome, Tom. Come on, at least try to have a little fun.” Tommy laughs happily, taking in the chaos that’s going on inside. The music is loud and aggressive and the lights are blued out in places and faintly strobing, enough to be special but not enough to be annoying, and twinkling white in others. There’s a sea of people dancing and Tommy spots a pool table in the room to the far right, a swimming pool visible through the glass walls with people fully dressed in it and surrounding it, and plush suede couches along the back wall.

Tommy has spotted at least a handful of musicians that he knows about, a half a dozen models he’s worked with, a couple of photographer’s and designers, and everyone else he has no idea.

“I need to find the guys!” Tom yells out to him, eyes darting around nervously. There’s a table to their left, one end empty while a bunch of guys play cards at the other end and Tommy sighs before hoisting himself up to sit on the edge.

“I’ll stay right here. You go ahead and get me a drink and bring whoever back that you want.” Tommy yells back. He crosses one long leg over the other and leans back just a little, weight resting on one arm that he props against the table a little behind him, taking note as one of the guys playing cards follows the movement with his eyes. Tommy gives him a coy smile and a wink just because he can as Tom nods and walks away.

The guy watching him from his card game looks at him curiously before grinning and getting up to walk over. He looks vaguely familiar to Tommy, with his long blonde hair, cute grin, and tall stature. It’s hard to tell people’s sub-gender’s in an environment like this, too many people in too close a proximity to really make anything out, but the man holds himself like an alpha.

He’s standing in front of Tommy before the omega has time to figure out where he knows the other man from and his grin is absolutely giddy as he looks at him.

“You’re Tommy Lee.”

Tommy blinks in surprise. It’s not like he doesn’t get recognized. He does occasionally, but people more often remember his face, they don’t really know his name.

“Umm, yeah, I am… How do you kno-”

“My lead singer is an absolute Gucci freak and your spread is literally one of his favorites. He has the photos posted up on his bunk wall on our tour bus.” The guy is laughing happily, sharing a conspiratorial look as he confides his friend’s secret and Tommy has to laugh along with him.

The omega shakes his head as he grins, “I really don’t know what to do with that information.”  

“Oh, tease the hell out of Axl when I bring him over to meet you, I hope. Don’t get me wrong, I’d rather have you all to myself, but he would literally, and I mean literally, kill me if he were to find out that I met you and didn’t go get him.” A lightbulb goes off in his head at the name Axl and suddenly Tommy knows exactly who he’s talking to.

The omega smiles at him, “Well, we can’t have that now can we?”

The blond beams again, holding his hand out for Tommy to take and shake, “Duff Mckagen.”

Tommy leans back again when he releases the man’s hand, “I know, I watched your music video on MTV the other day. Guns N’ Roses, right?”

Duff nods, scratching at the back of his head somewhat sheepishly, “Yeah? What did you think?”

Tommy just can’t resist the opportunity to tease, “Eh.”

Duff throws his head back and laughs and Tommy smiles at him when he leans in a little closer, “You don’t pull your punches do you sweetheart?”

Tommy’s grin turns sharp as he lowers his gaze and looks at the bassist through his eyelashes, “You have no idea.”

The blond haired alpha leans his hip against the side of the table, nearly pressed right against Tommy’s side and he brings a hand up to lightly grip at his chin, tilting it to meet his gaze as he gives a little smirk that’s definitely attractive on him, “Maybe I should risk death and forget about introducing you to Axl, don’t need him to whisk your attention away from me.”

“Tommy!”

The omega sighs and rolls his eyes at the questioning look Duff gives him. Tom is making his way back over but Tommy doesn’t see anyone with him so he figures that he’s free to keep flirting with the blond bassist as Tom presses a drink into his hand.

“Did you find them?” Tommy asks politely. Zutaut looks anxious as all hell, so Tommy feels the need to be nice to the man.

“Uh, yeah, they were right behind me? I guess they got side tracked, they’ll be here.” Tom says, eyes flitting over the crowd before finally realizing that he had company.

“Duff? Hey man.” Tom says, voice at a higher pitch than usual, and Tommy raises an eyebrow at the producer. God, no wonder his clients didn’t respect him. The man couldn’t even talk to a musician without losing his shit.

“Hey Zutaut. Are you here with…” Duff asks but trails off like the question is so ridiculous he can’t even finish it.

Tom is about to answer but Tommy is cutting him off with a glare, “Yes and no. He’s a friend that I’m doing a favor for.”

Tom looks a bit put out but Duff smiles again, arm draping around Tommy’s shoulders, “Good, I was about to be really bummed out.”

“Look out Zutaut! Duffie’s gonna steal your model if you aren’t careful!” An obnoxious voice calls out boisterously followed nearly immediately by a loud and startlingly familiar, “HOLY FUCK.”

Tommy freezes. His whole body feels like a block of lead and he all of a sudden can’t breathe because there’s no fucking way.  

There’s no fucking way that after a year, Vince Neil is at the same party as him. But then a softer and achingly recognizable, “Shit,” has him wanting to cry because that was definitely Mick’s voice. He feels cold all over and despite not wanting to look up, he just has to because he knows, if Vince and Mick are there together, someone else is probably there too.  

So he shifts his gaze to look directly in front of him and sure enough, he’s there. Vince is staring at him with the most shocked expression on his face, Mick is looking at him with something that looks apologetic but he’s barely aware of any of that because Nikki is standing behind them both with the most intensely indiscernible expression on his face, eyes locked onto Tommy’s face.

He looks so good. So damn good in black jeans that are cut up at the knees and a tank top that shows off his muscled arms that are littered with more tattoos than he remembers, hair still jet black but pushed off of his forehead so his gorgeous face is visible and Tommy wants to whine and reach out for him, the longing he feels in his heart wanting a physical expression.

“Hi Nikki.” Tommy manages to force out even though the words had felt stuck in his throat before dragging his eyes away from the dark haired bassist, “Vince, Mick.”

Tommy narrows his eyes at the fourth person, “I don’t know you.”

“Sammy doll face, drummer.” The man reaches a hand out to shake but Tommy ignores it. And yeah, that may be petty but considering the situation, the omega feels like his actions are pretty justified.

Instead he tips his head back and downs the full glass of whiskey that Tom had brought him while the producer asks, “Tommy, you know the guys?”

“Apparently.” Tommy glares at the man. Why the hell didn’t he say earlier that the band he had signed was Mötley Crüe? Why the fuck hadn’t Tommy asked who this fucking party was for.

“Tommy was actually our original drummer.” Mick sighs, probably trying to ease the awkward atmosphere that’s settled around the group.

Sammy laughs, “No shit?! What happened? Couldn’t take the heat doll face?”

Tommy growls and is about lay into the asshole when Nikki all of a sudden finds his voice, “No, I fucked it all up. It was my fault he left.”

The omega feels a sharp spike of pain shoot through him and it’s enough to make his eyes water and he tries to take a breath without being too obvious about the fact that he suddenly can’t seem to get enough air.

He unexpectedly feels Duff’s arm moves from his shoulder to around his waist, hand squeezing his hip gently and Tommy can see the way Nikki’s jaw clenches and his eyes narrow, “Hey, you alright?”

Tommy shakes his head, “I’m not drunk enough for this shit, come get me another drink.”

And with that Tommy is dragging Duff with him and away from the people, the person, who was supposed to stay in his past.

Tommy feels panic bubbling up in his chest as he walks away from the alpha, and he can’t help but think about the last time he did this, a little less than a year ago.

~May 22nd, 2018~

Tommy didn’t necessarily like his job. It was alright, most of the time, and the owner never minded if he sent free drinks to his boys whenever they would come in to wait until the end of his shift so they could go out.

But the patrons were fucking annoying. They constantly groped or made comments to him after they had too much to drink, and while Tommy could usually handle this with a smile that typically got him extra tips, sometimes it went a little too far and it just flat out made him uncomfortable.

The most annoying part of his job though, is the goddamn strippers who don’t seem to understand- even though Tommy has very clearly and explicitly spelled it out for them- that Nikki is fucking off limits. Several girls would often caress the bassist’s shoulders as they walked by or lean down to peck him on the cheek but that was usually just to tease Tommy and while it annoyed the hell out of him, it was all in good fun and at the end of the day he knew that they respected him enough to never actually cross the line.

All of them, except Mindy.

Fucking Mindy, with her stupid fucking ‘only appropriate for a stripper’ name, was constantly flying past the goddamn line. Tommy hated the nights that he worked with her because that meant that she would usually plant herself right in Nikki’s lap for a free dance. Tommy confronted her about it a couple of times and she always said the same damn thing.

“You’re not mated Tommy. Until you are, Nikki is fair game so fuck off.” Fucking blonde haired bimbo.

Mindy and her shitty behavior made him seethe, but what really troubled him about the whole thing was how Nikki would just sit there and let it happen. Tommy had told him before that it bothered him, but the handful of times they talked about it Nikki would just dismiss his concerns with a ‘she’s just doing her job babe, doesn’t mean anything’ or a ‘you know her type doesn’t do anything for me babe, I prefer tall, leggy brunettes’ before he would proceed to make Tommy forget whatever they had just been talking about.

Despite Nikki’s nonchalance at the whole situation, it continues to upset Tommy every time it happens. Besides just the instinctual surge of possession that it stirs up in him when he sees the skank grinding on his alpha, there’s also the hurt that Nikki doesn’t seem to care that it bothers him. He could get maybe that Nikki doesn’t understand that seeing him under another omega, in a place of business or not, makes him feel terribly insecure which is so far from the norm for Tommy it actually turns his stomach when it happens. But to Tommy, it should have just taken him telling Nikki that it upset him for the alpha to put a stop to the activity.

But he doesn’t, and tonight it’s worse than usual because Mindy stays in Nikki’s lap even after Tommy clocks out. This is unusual because she typically times it to steer clear of Tommy after the omega had growled at her when they bumped into each other backstage last month but tonight when he walks out of the back, she’s still there and Nikki is calmly taking a sip from a bottle of Jack as he talks to Vince who has a girl in his own lap.

Tommy feels an unbridled rage fill him when he sees it and he has half a mind to stomp over there, push the bitch off of Nikki’s lap and maybe even punch that handsome face that belonged to his boyfriend, but he figures physical violence would probably get him fired and wouldn’t exactly be healthy for his relationship

So he decides to get drunk instead and wait for Mindy to leave so he can go over there, drag Nikki home and scream at him until Nikki just gets it because this is ending, tonight.

He huffs angrily when he harshly sits himself down on a stool at the bar and glowers, even when the bartender gives him a sympathetic smile and a drink without him having to ask.

“Mindy at it again?” She asks.

Tommy looks at her with a storm brewing behind his eyes, “Do you have to ask?”

“I don’t get why he doesn’t just knock her on her ass. He can do that if she’s giving him a dance he’s not paying for.”

“That’s what I fucking said.” Tommy grumbles before knocking back his drink. He sighs as he spins the empty glass and is about to motion for another one when the red haired beta behind the counter is passing another drink into his hands.

He gives her a grateful look but she shakes her head at him, “That one’s not from me honey.”

She points a little ways down the bar and a man that Tommy recognizes from his rotation is waving at him with a little half smile. He’s attractive, objectively. He’s a little shorter than Tommy which isn’t surprising, most people are, but he’s built well and he must be some sort of Hispanic because his skin is tanned cinnamon and his short hair is thick and a deep dark brown just like his eyes. Tommy is a little surprised and he’s waving back as he takes a sip from the drink. Apparently the guy takes that as an invitation because he’s walking over immediately.

He’s sliding to stand against the bar right next to where Tommy is sitting and the drummer’s eyes widen at how close the other man is so suddenly.

“So, I’m guessing since you’re drinking that means that your off?” The guy has a nice smile, Tommy will give him that. And he smells pretty good, obviously an alpha and like strong coffee. But this is really not anything that Tommy is interested in.

“What an intelligent observation. Give the guy a prize.” Tommy rolls his eyes. Yeah, that was a little bitchy but he’s mad, and upset, so sue him.

The guy’s smile stays firmly stretched across his face though, brown eyes lit up in amusement, “Ouch.”

Tommy snorts a laugh at the guy’s determination not to be deterred by his obviously pissy mood, “Sorry, you just really caught me at a bad time. I’m taken anyway.”

The omega looks back to check on Nikki and practically growls in frustration when he see Mindy still seated on his alpha’s lap. When the fuck does she get off work anyway?

The alpha at his side leans around him to follow his gaze and raises an eyebrow when Tommy meets his eyes again, “Is that who you’re taken by?”

Tommy bristles at the judgment he hears in the man’s voice and finishes his drink quickly, not minding in the least when the alpha motions for another round from the bartender.

“Didn’t mean to offend you. It’s just, how much of a moron is he if he has someone like you waiting for him and he’s wasting his time with that dime a dozen slut?” The guy snorts and presses the glass of another drink into Tommy’s hands.

And well, wasn’t that just the most dangerously right thing for him to have said.

Tommy watches as the guy smiles again, obviously amused that Tommy is so shocked by what he just said, “I’m Gabe.”

“Tommy.” The drummer answers almost unthinking, “And he may be a moron but I’m, unfortunately at the moment, in love with him so if you could not insult him, I’d appreciate it.”

Gabe shakes his head incredulously, “You’re really something else. Really irritates me that you’re not available. Well Tommy, I have a proposition for you if you’re interested.”

“This ought to be good. Go ahead.” Tommy smiles in amusement. He wasn’t doing anything else at the moment. Just waiting for a slut to get off of his boyfriend. No big deal. He had time to waste.

The smile across Gabe’s face morphs into a smirk and he takes a step further into Tommy’s space so that he’s very nearly knocking knees with him, “I’m just going to throw it out there that I am totally okay with you using me to give your guy over there a taste of his own medicine. Like, completely okay with it, down right on board to flirt with you for a while until he learns his lesson.”

Tommy’s laughing even though he doesn’t want to. From the corner of his eye he sees Mindy finally get off of Nikki’s lap and even though Nikki looks completely unbothered by her absence, head turning this way and that, obviously looking for Tommy, the omega is still incredibly angry and upset and maybe a little tipsy. Liquor doesn’t typically hit him this hard but three drinks so fast on an empty stomach while he’s tired from a shift obviously have had more of an effect than usual.

And Gabe is nice and funny, and Tommy really wants to just make Nikki understand how he’s been feeling. His head is screaming ‘bad idea, bad idea, bad idea’ but the pain in his heart just says ‘fuck off, we’re doing this’ and he’s spreading his legs just enough for the alpha to push just a little bit closer. It’s nothing explicit really, the man is just standing in the space between his knees, nowhere nears his thighs or his hips, but the suggestion is there and Tommy looks up at the other man, “And what lesson would that be?”

Gabe is still smiling but his eyes are serious when he lifts a hand to sweep his fingers through the curls that frame Tommy’s face, “That you’re a fucking knock out, and if he isn’t careful, someone will definitely sweep in to take you away.”

Tommy laughs softly, no fucking way was anyone taking him away from Nikki, but he’s flattered all the same, “You really are pretty fucking smooth, if I wasn’t-”

“Tommy.”

The sound of Nikki’s voice, pitched low and warning, has Tommy jerking away from Gabe so fast he nearly gets whiplash. He also teeters precariously on the stool at the movement and he feels Gabe place his hands on his waist to steady him so he doesn’t fall but the deep, loud growl that Nikki lets out has Gabe’s hands flying away in a flash.

Tommy faces Nikki fully then and the alpha looks like a force of nature standing there, body tense and eyes dark, jaw and fists clenched, looking for all intents and purposes that he’s seconds away from lunging at the alpha that’s standing so close to Tommy.

“We’re going home now Tommy.”

Nikki’s tone leaves no room for argument but Tommy still rolls his eyes and out of spite, because how dare Nikki sit there for like an hour with a stripper in his lap and then get this angry over a few minutes of harmless flirting, he turns back to Gabe as he stands up and says, “Thanks for the drinks, and the company.”

Tommy can practically hear Nikki’s teeth grinding when Gabe beams at him, “Anytime sweetheart.”

Nikki is gripping his hand then and pulling them rapidly toward the door but Gabe catches up with them, apparently unable to resist fucking with Nikki’s head one more time, and presses a napkin into Tommy’s hand, “Just in case you ever find yourself unattached.”

They’re out the door in a flash after that and Tommy throws the napkin with what he expects is Gabe’s phone number scribbled on it away. He knows Nikki sees him do it but it does little to calm the older man down as he pulls Tommy quickly down the street, dropping his hand when they approach their apartment and taking the stairs two at a time, leaving the door open for Tommy to shut.

As soon as the lock clicks into place, Nikki is speaking, and his tone is so raw and angry that Tommy is actually startled.

“What the fuck was that Tommy?” Nikki’s eyes are stone cold as he looks at him from across the living room.

Tommy is quiet for a minute because this is a little more intense than he had thought it would be. He figured Nikki would be pissed and they would scream at each other before falling together into angry passionate sex to relieve the frustration and then kiss and whisper apologies into each other’s skin afterwards. That was what was typical for them, both running a little too hot and energy just too high between them to argue quietly or passive aggressively.

Though, Tommy thinks a little guiltily, flirting with Gabe was some pretty passive aggressive shit on his part but no! Fuck this, this whole thing started because of Nikki’s shitty behavior and lack of regard for his feelings so he doesn’t get to stand there on the offensive and make Tommy feel bad. Fuck that.

“Oh fuck off Nikki, you’re not seriously going to stand there and question me over a little fucking flirting are you?” Tommy crosses his arms over his chest and glares at the alpha, not backing down and rearing to tear into him over this finally.

“A little fucking flirting? The guy was between your fucking legs and looked to be about one fucking drink from getting you into bed with him.” Nikki snarks at him cruelly.

Tommy narrows his eyes further and snarls back, “I would never have done that Nikki, thanks for the fucking vote of confidence though. It’s absolutely fucking mind blowing that you can stand there and call me a whore for letting another man barely touch me when you literally just spent an hour my with coworker’s ass grinding on your dick.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, is this coming up fucking again?! She’s a fucking stripper Tommy, that’s what she fucking does for a living.” Nikki has the audacity to look annoyed now and Tommy growls at the alpha for still being so stupid.

“No, this is ending fucking tonight because I am so sick of you just not fucking comprehending this. She’s not fucking accepting payment from you for those fucking dances Nikki. That means she’s doing it because she fucking wants you and you fucking entertain her, while I’m literally feet away working, you selfish, cold fucking dick! What fucking part of this confuses you? It would have been no different if I had pushed that fucking guy into a seat and rode him in the middle of the fucking room. And you do this every fucking week! Fuck! Maybe I should have kept his fucking number, as least he had the damn sense to see that I was more worth his time than a fucking stripper!” Tommy fumes, and yeah, that was a little harder than he typically goes but he needs to get this through Nikki’s skull right fucking now.

Nikki’s pale green eyes are ice right now, hardening the more Tommy lays into him, but Tommy can see the wild panic that shoots through them when he mentions keeping Gabe’s number. Tommy knows that this isn’t good, he knows that Nikki has abandonment issues from how he grew up and fear makes Nikki do irrational, terrible things and he immediately wants to de-escalate the situation but then Nikki is speaking again and his tone is nothing short of disgusted when he says, “Are you really that fucking insecure?”

It’s like a sharp slap to the face and Tommy feels his control of the situation slipping through his fingers, knows that Nikki has none to speak of either and this is spiraling much further than it needed to.

He tries to soften his approach and weakly says, “Nikki…”

But it’s too late for that now, fear and pain and panic have a hold on Nikki now and the older man is backing away from him then and shaking his head, not even screaming but voice still cutting into Tommy’s heart when he continues his assault, “I should have fucking knew that you were too immature to handle this Tommy. What kind of a juvenile fucking slut tries to fuck with another guy just to make their boyfriend jealous over a few fucking lap dances?”

Tommy bites his lip to try to stifle the whimper the wants to come out because Nikki doesn’t usually speak to him like this. They scream and curse and they’ll insult each other but it’s always general, this, this is personal and he feels like he’s going to cry, eyes watering but doing his best to clear his expression and stop this before it goes too far to fix, “Nikki, baby, please…”

Nikki shakes his head, “Who fucking fucks up their relationship because of some stupid insecurity? A fucking kid does that Tommy, it’s fucking pathetic.”

Tommy takes in a shuddering breath, “Nikki stop, just stop!”

“This is the fucking life Tommy. This is being a goddamn rock star. This is what we fucking wanted. If you can’t handle a few fucking strippers without thinking that I want them more than I want you then we should just fucking end this now before you bring us all down with your goddamn pathetic insecurities. I don’t want anything to do with someone like that.”

Tommy feels a shattering pain in his chest and distantly hears a small broken whimper that he’s startled to realize has come from him. He can feel the warmth and wetness of his tears finally falling down his cheeks and Nikki is looking at him with what looks like immediate regret mixed up with the anger and the fear but Tommy can’t analyze that look, he can’t stay there for one more fucking minute and he’s running out of the apartment as fast as his long legs can take him, heart breaking all the more when he realizes that Nikki isn’t coming after him.

He ends up on a friend’s couch that night, and after several nights with no word from Nikki, he supposes that the set-up is permanent. He feels broken, unable to get himself to do the simplest of things, and as the days go by it doesn’t get any easier. He spends his nights curled up on the couch in physical pain from missing the older man so damn much. Everything in him wants to call Nikki. If he wants to fix this, he needs to be the one to do it because he knows that Nikki is probably buried too deep in a hole of self-loathing to even think that this is repairable. But every time he goes to press the alpha’s number into his phone he hears those terrible things he had said to him and he physically recoils from the slim possibility that Nikki actually meant them.

His friends go get his stuff from the apartment. Vince and Mick try calling him and texting but he can’t read them after the first few glances revealed Nikki’s name so he blocks all of their numbers, the last of Tommy Lee, drummer of Mötley Crüe, dying as he presses the delete button on Nikki’s contact information.

~May 15th, 2019~

Tommy all but collapses again the counter top when they reach the kitchen and Duff has the common sense to move them a little further into a more secluded corner, away from most of the people who are milling in and out of the room.

The omega is grateful to him because he feels like he’s about to have a panic attack, and wow, he’s never had one of those before. But Duff presses into his space, cupping his face to push his hair back so that Tommy focuses on his face.

“Hey, hey, Tommy, look at me okay? Focus on me, I need you to try to breathe a little more deeply okay? Just slow down a little bit okay?”

Tommy feels his breathing even out a little bit, still a little shaky but not nearly as gasping as he had been. He pulls back from the other man and leans against the glass door that leads to the balcony, the cold seeping through his shirt at his shoulder blades and grounding him.

Duff gives him a minute to calm down, but when Tommy is lucid enough to clearly meet his eyes, he’s raising an eyebrow, “So….”

Tommy groans and covers his eyes with his hands before resolutely dragging them through his hair.

“I’m guessing you and Sixx have history then.” Duff says gently, settling against the door next to Tommy.

Tommy closes his eyes and feels the words sink into his brain. History. Images of Nikki grabbing him around the waist, the both of them giggling loudly as they dance crazy and wild in the living room, of Nikki wrapping his arms around his waist from behind randomly and pressing his lips to his shoulder softly to inhale his scent, flash before his eyes and he walks to the table where the liquor is. He grabs the first thing he sees, a bottle of vodka in an ice bucket and unscrews it to take a gulp as he stands there.

Duff nods, “Yeah, definitely history. Shit, I knew Sixx was fucked up over someone, never imagined it would be over Tommy fucking Lee.”

Tommy whips his head around to stare at the blond haired alpha, “What do you mean?”

“Dude, Nikki has been a damn mess ever since I met him. We didn’t know what his deal was, you know? Because he doesn’t do the typical rock star shit, like yeah, he drinks like no one I have ever seen and he’ll take a bump every now and again and he smokes weed whenever you offer but the whole one night stand, fucking groupies, going to strip clubs, all that other shit, he wants nothing to do with. We couldn’t believe it because Nikki Sixx is one crazy mother fucker, we thought for sure that he would have a constant rotation of omega’s and beta’s but he was never with anyone. So we asked Sammy because he’s the only one who will talk about it and he said that Sixx fucked up his shot with his true mate and he hasn’t been interested in anyone since. Guessing that was you.”

Tommy bites his lip, taking in the information and feeling his heart hurt at the thought of his alpha in pain over him. “We were always, we were always so intense you know?”

Duff doesn’t say anything, just nods and listens like he knows that Tommy needs to just talk it out.

“It was immediate, like a gasoline fire, coming to life so fucking fast but it just never, it never burned out. I think we almost half expected it to, that’s why we took a couple weeks to acknowledge it but it just never went away. Not after we confessed, not after we got together, not even after months of being a couple. It was incredible because it meant that everything was so passionate, everything was electric and so fulfilling but it was a double edged sword because when we fought, Christ, we fought hard. That’s what did it, a stupid fucking fight we should never have gotten into. He said some things, I said some terrible shit back, and then he said some really terrible shit and it just spiraled out of control until we broke and neither of us could bring ourselves out of our heart break to try to repair it.”

Duff watches Tommy as he takes another pull from the vodka bottle, his eyes are closed, brown waves still falling softly around his face and every inch of him screams longing. Sixx is a fucking lucky guy.

“You still love him.”

Tommy lowers the vodka bottle and opens his eyes and the look he gives Duff, the sad little smile, is heartbreaking, “Of course I still love him. He’s my true mate. I knew it from that very first night we met in that dingy little fucking diner.”

Duff is nodding suddenly, and it confuses Tommy because the blond alpha looks resolute as he says, “Why don’t we get some air? You go wait out there on the balcony and I’ll be right back, I’m just going tell Zutaut that you’re okay and you’re calming down so he doesn’t come bothering you.”

Tommy finds himself nodding along gently, some air would be nice and there weren’t any people out there on the balcony. So he slides the glass door open as Duff walks out of the kitchen and closes it behind him.

Zutaut had been right, California does get chilly at night but Tommy has lived here all his life and he embraces it happily. It feels nice against his stress heated skin and he walks over to lean his elbows on the wide stone railing and look out over the garden.

He’s taking another long sip from his vodka bottle when he hears the door behind him slide open and shut again and he turns around as he says, “Well that didn’t take too long.”

But it isn’t Duff standing there just a few feet away from him. Of course it isn’t. Because life isn’t fair like that and it doesn’t care what Tommy thinks he wants, it only cares about what he needs.

Which is why Nikki stands there like one of Tommy’s damn dreams. Tommy is quiet as he drinks in the sight of the alpha in front of him, eyes tracking over the familiarities of his features and noting the changes, how his body seems broader, muscles thicker than just a year ago but his face and his eyes are looking at Tommy like they always used to, with that damn expression that made Tommy feel like the most important thing in the whole damn world to Nikki.

It makes him angry.

“What do you want Sixx, I’m trying to drink myself into a stupor here.” Tommy says as he turns his back to the man so he wouldn’t have to see his eyes anymore.

“Tommy.”

The omega fucking flinches at the sound of his name like that. Nikki didn’t speak it so much as breathed it reverently, and he needed to shut that shit down right now.

“Don’t say my name like that.” Tommy snaps at him, whirling back around to face his past head on. Nikki is looking at with a determined expression that literally scares the hell out of Tommy, the omega’s eyes widening when Nikki starts walking towards him.

“Stay the fuck away from me Sixx.” Tommy warns him, but his voice is nowhere near as strong as he wants it to be, cracking underneath the weight of his emotions as Nikki gets closer to him.

Nikki just shakes his head and simply says, “No baby.”  

There are tears in Tommy’s eyes again at the pet name and he’s weakly demanding, “Don’t fucking call me that.”

But Nikki is right on top of him then and his arms are wrapping around Tommy like they belong there, one going around his waist to pull him close and the other coming up to bury his fingers in Tommy’s hair and cradle the back of his head as the omega melts into him with a sob, face buried in Nikki’s neck.

Nikki is pressing gentle kisses into his hair but he’s breathing harshly and Tommy can feel tears dropping to land on his shoulder but he’s sobbing too, shoulders shaking with his hands against Nikki’s chest, the alpha’s heart beating so fucking fast as he talks, “I know, fucking hell, baby, I know, should have done this that night, I was so stupid, Jesus Christ Tommy, baby.”

Tommy cries soften at that, just enough for him to stammer out, “What the fuck happened? What the hell happened to us?”

Nikki is pulling back just enough to look into Tommy’s face and his cheeks are wet with tears when he shakes his head again, “It was me baby. It was all fucking me. I got, I was so caught up in portraying this image of what I thought I should be and I let it get way too fucking out of hand. Fuck Tommy, I was so fucking disrespectful towards you, I should never have even let that slut come near me, let alone… fuck and even then I should have stopped it the minute you said it upset you.”

Tommy looks away to the side, his own guilt eating him up until he says, “I shouldn’t have flirted with that guy in the bar that night. It was fucking petty and I knew it was a bad idea, I was just so mad and upset and I-”

Nikki cups the side of Tommy’s face gently with one hand to turn it back to meet his gaze, calloused thumb swiping over his cheekbone to brush the tears away as they continue to fall, “You had every fucking right to do whatever you could to try to get me to see how much I was hurting you Tommy. When I saw you with him, fuck I had already been drinking and that just sent me into a rage and when I got closer and heard him fucking say that shit about taking you away from me, I just lost control for the rest of the night. I was so scared Tommy, I was so fucking scared of that happening, you have no damn idea because I knew, I knew I wasn’t good enough for you. I let that fear and my own damn fucking ego influence me and I didn’t mean a goddamn thing I said to you that night baby. If nothing else, I need you to know that. I didn’t mean a single word.”

Tommy lets the words fall over him and feels his heart break all over again at how they had let something like this ruin them, keeping his eyes locked with Nikki’s when he asks something that has kept him awake for many nights over the past year, “Why didn’t you come after me? Why didn’t you call? I was waiting for you Nikki. Do you know how much I fucking tortured myself with wanting to call but refusing to because I thought that maybe you didn’t want me around anymore? Part of me knew you still loved me, part of me knew that it was just a stupid fucking fight that got out of hand but as soon as that part of me would convince me to call, I would think about what you said and I couldn’t stand it. I couldn’t stand the thought, the possibility that maybe that was really how you felt.”

Nikki makes a pained sound in the back of his throat, more tears tracking softly down his face as he presses his forehead into Tommy’s and the omega can’t help how his hands curl over the sides of his neck, Nikki’s pain a reflection of his own.

“I’m sorry Tommy. I’m so absolutely and completely fucking sorry. I was the moment I finished talking but the look on your face...”

Nikki suddenly releases the grip he has on Tommy and the omega feels the loss of contact in the form of a physical pain as the other man take a few steps away and looks out over the railing, “I didn’t fucking deserve you Tommy. I don’t deserve you. The expression on your face that night before you ran out the door, I did that. That was my fault, I made you feel like that and that fucking haunted me. I couldn’t call you, I was afraid that if I did, if you came back, I would do something to put that expression back on your face again eventually. You were better off without me.”

Tommy bites his lip softly. There were a million ways that he could respond to that and initially he wants to yell at Nikki that he’s a fucking idiot because not only was that completely untrue, that also wasn’t Nikki’s choice to make. But he knows Nikki, he knows him so well and being back in his arms, even as stressful and brief as it had been, has brought back in stark relief just how desperately Tommy had missed him.

“You never got it Sixx. You could never quite understand that you’re not the bad guy.”

Nikki shifts his gaze back to Tommy quickly, eyes wide and mouth open like he wants to protest but Tommy doesn’t give him the opportunity, “You’ve never been the bad guy Nikki. No matter what you think about yourself, it’s just not the truth. You try to be sometimes, but you can’t quite manage to be what you seem to think you are. Better off without you? I was fucking miserable every damn day. You hurt me that night Nik, but I hurt you too. You don’t carry the responsibility for where we are now alone.”

The alpha shakes his head, about to respond when the doors to the balcony are suddenly thrown open, a drunken couple practically falling through the doors before crowding themselves against the railing to make out without even a glance to see who was around them.

Tommy has to let out a breathy laugh as he wipes at the tear tracks on his cheeks. He remembers when he and Nikki used to be like that, their passion consuming any sense of shame or modesty. Nikki must be thinking the same thing because he’s looking at Tommy with a wistful little smile.

“Not exactly the best setting to have this conversation I guess.” Nikki sighs gently, moving a little closer to Tommy now to keep their words private.

Tommy shakes his head, wrapping his arms around himself, unsure of what to say or do now that the emotionally charged moment has been broken.

Nikki reaches a hand up to sweep through his hair, pushing it back off his face before he grimaces, obviously at war with what he’s about to say but forcing the words out anyway, “Do you want to go back to the party? It looked like you were having fun before, with… with Duff.”

Tommy can see how the statement hurts him to say, can see how hard Nikki is trying to respect that Tommy isn’t his anymore and not get possessive but Tommy doesn’t want to go back to the party. He doesn’t want to go back to flirting with Duff and pretending like Nikki is just another person in the room, like they weren’t still desperate for each other.

Tommy didn’t know a lot right now, he was confused and overwhelmed but if there was one thing he knew with certainty it was that he had never stopped loving Nikki. Even just standing here next to the alpha after everything that had happened over the last year has Tommy feeling like something in him is finally settling back into place, a warmth reawakening that piece of him that had been dormant without his bassist.

If they were going to fix this, if they had a second chance, it wasn’t going to happen with them parting ways here and acting like nothing had happened for the rest of the night.

So Tommy shakes his head, “I don’t want to go back to the party Nikki…”

The bassist lets out a long exhale, relief clear on his face before hesitating. It’s new to Tommy, to see Nikki acting so cautious, so careful and unsure.

“I could drive you home? We could talk a little more in the car, if you want?”

“It’s your party Nikki. Fuck, you guys got signed! You should stay and enjoy it.” Tommy is earnest when he says it, despite wanting nothing more than to continue talking. He doesn’t know what’s going to come of this, if it’s closure that he’s after or maybe something more, the idea of a second chance settling dangerously in his mind and in his heart the more Nikki looks at him. But just because he isn’t exactly in a party mood anymore doesn’t mean that Nikki shouldn’t stay and celebrate.

But Nikki’s lips pull into that smile that always leaves Tommy a little breathless, the alpha reaching towards him to sweep some of the curls around Tommy’s face back behind his ear, “Like I give a fuck about anything else in the world when I have the chance to stay with you just a little bit longer.”

“Nikki…” Tommy whispers his name so softly, like he couldn’t help himself, it makes Nikki shudder to hear it from the omega’s lips.

“Let me drive you home Tommy, please?” Nikki is almost begging at this point and he looks completely unbothered by this fact. So okay with pleading for just a few more minutes of his time that Tommy is nodding without even thinking about it.

“Yeah, okay. Okay Nik.”

The dark haired bassist nods in acceptance, hand coming down to rest against the small of his back and lead him through the doors. Tommy sets the bottle of vodka he had swiped back on the counter top as they move through the kitchen, not needing it as much as he had when he walked away from Nikki earlier that night.

Nikki’s hand is warm against his lower back and it lights him up in a way he hasn’t felt in the past year. Such simple contact, such a simple touch but even so, it’s eliciting more passion from him than the entire experience of the four one night stands he has had over the past year. It’s deliciously distracting, so much so that Tommy barely notices his surroundings as they move through the house, not even acknowledging anyone who calls out to him and Nikki is much the same, moving at a steady pace with single minded determination.

The valet brings Nikki’s car so fast that they barely get the opportunity to even look at each other, eyes meeting shyly and cautiously. Tommy grins when the car pulls up. He knows nearly nothing about cars, but he recognizes the sleek black vehicle as one that Nikki used to go on and on about when they were together.

Nikki notices his eyes light up in recognition and laughs softly, “My signing bonus was well spent, yeah?”

Tommy laughs along with him, suddenly so happy for the other man. He knows that Nikki’s upbringing was tumultuous, between his neglectful mother and living poor with his grandparents. Being able to buy something that he had dreamed about for years, owning something that, was absolutely incredible.

“That’s a fucking understatement.” Tommy teases as Nikki insists on opening his door instead of the valet attendant.

Nikki slides into the driver’s seat and as soon as he starts the car, the engine roaring to life, heat shoots through Tommy so abruptly he nearly gasps. Nikki just looks so good like this, just as fucking gorgeous as he always was and the whole scenario is suddenly crashing into Tommy’s head like a wave. If they hadn’t been so stupid that night, if either of them had just been brave enough to reach out sooner, Tommy would have seen this on the regular. He’d have probably been there when Nikki went to purchase the damn car in the first place.

If the past year hadn’t happened, Tommy would be able to do something about the lust rushing through him at the sight of Nikki right now. Tommy blushes when he realizes that he probably wouldn’t have hesitated to do exactly what he wanted, how he would have undone his seatbelt so he could lean over far enough to bury his face in Nikki’s lap, how he would have pressed kisses to Nikki’s length through the material of his jeans until Nikki would growl at him like he used to when he would tease. How he would have continued to go much further than that.

Nikki is inhaling sharply suddenly and the sound has Tommy blinking away the daze that he had been in just in time to hear what Nikki says, “Tommy, baby, whatever you’re thinking about, please stop.”

Tommy’s blush deepens when he realizes that sometime during his heated daze he had gotten wet. Jesus Christ, has anyone ever been able to wind him up like that just by sitting in the damn driver’s seat of a fucking car?

“Sorry…” Tommy says quietly in embarrassment and Nikki turns to him sharply, eyes dark and serious.

“Don’t ever be sorry for that Tommy. Fuck, I’m so deliriously happy that you even still… fuck, that you even want me like that. I just, you smell so fucking good babe and it’s making it really difficult to control myself and I don’t think it’s going to help us talk about everything we need to talk about if I jump you right here in my car.”

Tommy shivers, a small part of him wanting to encourage Nikki to do just that, but he was right. They had a lot to work out before coming close to that point.

So he takes a deep breath, trying to cool down a little bit and decides to tease the older man to break the tension, “You’re right Nikki, it’s just, it’s a really fucking nice car.”

The alpha laughs at that, the sound just as boisterous as Tommy remembered and it has him laughing too. Nikki quiets down to a chuckle and brings up the navigation screen.

“What’s your address babe?” Nikki asks and Tommy leans forward to put the address in, looking at the estimated time of 25 minutes and then Nikki is grinning.

“Want to see how much we can beat that time by?” Nikki challenges, voice mischievous as the engine revs and Tommy feels a tingle of excitement creep into his chest.

“Trying to impress me Nik?” Tommy asks, brown eyes bright as he looks into Nikki’s pale green ones.

Nikki grins, “Fucking always babe.”

Tommy doesn’t even have time to respond after that because he’s letting out a small surprised yelp as Nikki floors it and takes the fuck off. He hears the alpha chuckling again and he reaches out to slap his arm for scaring him but he’s laughing anyway too.

It’s so easy. So ridiculously easy falling back into the fun, playful flirting. This was how it was supposed to be, the two of them laughing as Nikki sped down the streets of Los Angeles with Tommy encouraging him to go faster, music blasting out of open windows and by the time they pull into an open space on the street outside of Tommy’s apartment, a full ten minutes faster than their navigation had said, both of their cheeks hurt from smiling.

Tommy knows his hair is an absolute wreck from the wind but Nikki’s eyes are moving over him after they park and sit there for a minute, and Tommy feels more stunning with the bassist staring at him with that look in his eyes than he does glammed out in front of the camera for work.

“I always loved when you looked at me like that.”

The words are escaping his lips before Tommy has a chance to pull them back but Nikki smiles at him softly, “Like what?”

Tommy looks down briefly, biting his lip as he thinks about it before deciding to just say it, “Like you think I’m the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen.”

Nikki’s smile grows, his eyes still warm and intense as he stares at him, “I always look at you like that.”

Tommy nods and exhales a shaky breath, “I know.”

Nikki reaches out slowly, giving Tommy time to stop him if he wants to as he cups his cheek in his hand, thumb rubbing softly over his cheekbones, “We didn’t really talk like we were supposed to.”

Tommy leans into the caress, eyes closing as he thinks over what he wants to do. He knows most people in his position would do the logical thing, the safe thing. They would tell Nikki that they can meet up tomorrow or whenever they both had free time. They would take this slow, take the time to heal together before moving on to maybe try a relationship again.

Tommy opens his eyes, knowing exactly what he wants to say.

“You could come up? To talk now, if you want.” Tommy has never been most people.

Nikki is looking at him searchingly, silent for a minute as he takes his hand away before nodding.

“Yeah, yeah, let’s talk.”

They’re quiet as Tommy scans his key card to let them into the lobby and they wait for an elevator. Nikki is looking around curiously, trying to acquaint himself with this new aspect of Tommy’s life that he missed out on.

Tommy likes his apartment. He could afford something bigger if he really wanted, but he never really felt the need for more when it was just him. A part of him reasons that maybe he just didn’t have the enthusiasm over the past year that he once did and that was why he didn’t necessarily care about having fun with his money. But still, he lived in a nice area and the building had been an old 1940’s hotel that had been renovated into apartments. His own unit is nice, with tall ceilings and massive windows that give a stunning view of the city but with that interesting old world charm that makes it unique. When they make it to the peak floor nine stories up and Tommy opens his front door, Nikki grins wide and nods to himself in some sort of approval.

“I love it T, not something I’d expect from a Gucci model but I absolutely fucking love it.”

Tommy blushes as he throws his keys and phone onto the small table by the door and takes his shoes off to get more comfortable, “Oh, you saw that huh?”

Nikki surprises him by blushing too, the older man toeing his own shoes off to match Tommy, “Uh, yeah, well... I don’t want to say that I stalked you on social media for the last six months but that’s kind of exactly what I was doing I guess.”

“Oh.” Tommy says quietly, and Nikki would be worried but the omega has a small little smile on his face.

“Yeah.” Nikki exhales, looking around as they stand in the front entrance of Tommy’s apartment.

Tommy feels nerves flood him suddenly. It was easier in the car when they had something fun to distract them but there’s something much more intimate about having Nikki in his apartment. He had tried to completely erase any sign of Nikki from his life when he had left and now the man was here, standing barefoot in his home.

He takes a shaky breath and moves to the open kitchen, needing an outlet for his nervous energy, already opening up cabinets and getting glasses down as he asks, “Do you want anything? I mean, I haven’t restocked my liquor but I have wine that someone left here if you want some.”

Tommy nearly screams when he feels hands touch his waist softly to settle and turn him around.

“Wine is good T, why don’t you sit down and I’ll get it?” Nikki asks him slowly, obviously trying to calm him down a little bit.

Tommy nods and follows Nikki’s suggestion, sitting himself down on the couch and taking a few deep breaths until Nikki hands him a glass of some sort of white wine, sitting the bottle on the coffee table and sitting down himself a respectful distance away. Tommy doesn’t know if he wishes he would move closer or further. Not sure what would settle his nerves better.

They drink quietly for a few minutes, trying to figure out where to start. There’s so much Tommy wants to say and yet everything escapes him at the moment but he has to say something and a sudden thought lights up in his head.

“Duff said that you haven’t been with anyone in the past year.”

Tommy blushes when Nikki starts coughing on the sip of wine he was taking. And he can’t really blame him, of all the places to start, Tommy chooses that.

“He fucking told you that?” Nikki groans, hand coming up to cover his eyes in what seems to be mortification.

“Don’t be mad at him, he was trying to get me to calm down and I think he could sense that we, you know that we had history and was probably just telling me what he thought I wanted to hear.” Tommy tried to sooth.

Nikki shakes his head and moves his hand but he keeps his eyes on the glass of wine in his hands, “He wasn’t.”

Tommy looks at the other man in confusion, body twisting to settle so that he’s angled towards the alpha, “He wasn’t what?”

Nikki sighs and moves so that he mirrors Tommy, looking him in the eyes again, “He wasn’t just telling you what you wanted to hear. I haven’t been with anyone in the past year.”

Tommy widens his eyes as he stares at the bassist incredulously, “Why?”

Nikki downs the rest of his wine and then sighs, “Tommy, you... you really have no idea how much it hurt me to lose you do you? I fucking, I hated myself. When you ran out, I wanted to follow you, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t get myself to move because I was so fucking angry at myself and then you didn’t come back. You didn’t call, you didn’t text. You were always so much better than me with talking things out and expressing yourself and I was being selfish again by waiting for you to reach out but when you didn’t, I fucking lost it. I didn’t want to hurt you anymore, and I thought the only way I could do that was by staying away.”

“That was stupid.” Tommy replies heatedly, “We were both so fucking stupid.”

Nikki nods solemnly, “I know. I know that now. Seeing you sitting on that table, I swear, I think my breathing just stopped. My whole body stopped. Vince literally had to drag me forward. You were just there and so damn stunning, fuck Tommy, how could I have wanted anyone after you?”

Tommy feels his eyes watering but he can’t cry anymore tonight. He thinks back to the one night stands he had while trying to forget Nikki and he feels so guilty that he’s covering his face with his free hand to hide.

“Babe, Tommy, it’s okay baby.” Nikki is scooting closer to him and gently pulling his hand away. “It’s okay if you were with someone else. You didn’t owe me shit, and besides, I wouldn’t have wanted you to go through a heat by yourself.”

Tommy’s eyes widen again and frantically catch Nikki’s gaze because no, he absolutely can’t think that.

“I didn’t spend my heat with anyone Nikki. How in the absolute hell, that was never an option. I couldn’t, you… you’re the only alpha I ever want for my heat Nik.”

Nikki growls at that and the sounds sends shivers down Tommy’s spine and heat through his lower stomach. That sound was always one of Tommy’s favorites, it was just so primal, so deep and possessive that it never failed to get him hot and now is no exception.

Nikki swallows hard and lets go of Tommy’s hand, “I think I need to go baby.”

Tommy flat out whines at that, still caught up in the headspace that Nikki’s growl had sent him into but he comes out of it quickly enough, “Wait, what, but what are we…”

“Babe, I don’t want to leave. Trust me. But between what you just said and your earlier stunt in the car… I may not be a bad guy but I’m not a saint either baby and I’m really running out of self-control here and I’m trying to respect your space.”

Tommy frowns, heat still spreading through him at the blatant desire in Nikki’s eyes. He doesn’t want Nikki to leave. It’s such a sudden but desperate thought that Tommy is reaching forward and grabbing at Nikki’s hand, “Don’t leave.”

Nikki’s eyes soften and his fingers of his free hand rake through Tommy’s hair until it rests under his jaw, “Let me take you to dinner tomorrow.”

Tommy blinks in confusion, dizzy from how all the different directions this night has gone, “Huh?”

Nikki nods and smiles nervously at him, “Dinner T. You know, like a date. Or a pre-date, or just a get together between friends who may or may not pursue each romantically after a period of healing. Whatever you want it to be, this is totally up to you-”

Tommy laughs softly and nods just to put Nikki out of his misery, “It’s a date.”

Nikki laughs, “Okay. So it’s a date.”

Tommy smiles but then Nikki is pressing a sweet kiss to the fingers of the hand Tommy had used to grab his and getting up to walk to the door.

This is good, Tommy thinks. This is beyond anything he could have ever hoped for and really, to go one day without Nikki in his life to having a date with him the next day was far faster than most people would have moved were they in his situation so he should be satisfied. He should be okay with letting Nikki leave and then going to bed by himself. That’s healthy.

Tommy is moving before he even thinks about it, “Nikki.”

The alpha turns around just in time for Tommy to wrap his arms around his neck and press their lips together and the absolute sigh of relief that Nikki lets out makes Tommy melt, releasing his own desperate little noise when Nikki’s hands find their way to his hips automatically.

They part gently, arms still around each other tightly as they stare with half lidded eyes.

“Tommy…” Nikki groans, obviously still fighting with himself about giving Tommy more time.

The omega just nudges his nose against Nikki’s cheek softly, breathing in his scent, “Stay Nikki. I want you to stay.”

Nikki nudges Tommy’s cheek back before reconnecting their lips in a brief, sweet kiss. They part again and Nikki exhales loudly, “God, Tommy.”

Tommy feels delirious when Nikki surges forward to press him against the door, lips pressing harshly against his in desperation and Tommy feels more alive than he has all year.

Nikki groans at the absolute plushness of the omega’s lips, the feeling better than he could have ever imagined after an entire year apart. He pushes harder against Tommy’s lips, dragging his hands down his sides to grip at his waist and hold him as close as possible. When Tommy gasps he can feel it and Nikki can’t help himself from running his tongue over the omega’s full bottom lip, angling his head so he can lick into the drummer’s mouth.

Nikki feels his body burning, igniting all the more at the way Tommy whines into the kiss, the way his hands reach up again to tangle in his hair, until he feels drunk off the feeling, no whiskey needed, breaking the contact of their lips to trail kisses and nips along the omega’s jaw and down his neck, firmly licking at the scent gland just underneath his ear. The moan Tommy lets out is so loud and unexpectedly high pitched, but he couldn’t have held it in for anything. Nikki is here with him, he’s touching him just the way he loves and Tommy wants this, wants it so badly and that only becomes more true when Nikki growls his approval as a wave of arousal crashes through him.

He smells so sweet, so fresh, Nikki can’t get enough as he keeps licking and nipping at the gland until he starts to smell the heat of arousal thick around Tommy’s usual honey orange scent and that, that just sets him off even more.

His hands run firmly over Tommy’s hips until they come to a stop on his ass, squeezing both cheeks and the omega keens and pushes his hips up into Nikki’s, the alpha answering with an automatic roll of his own before he grips the backs of Tommy’s perfect fucking thighs, thankful for the natural strength that comes from being an alpha as he lifts him easily to wrap those sinfully long legs around his waist, hips pinning the drummer’s to the door.

The move surprises Tommy, body heating up even more at how effortlessly Nikki lifted him, thighs trembling around the bassist’s hips as he feels himself slicking up, getting wet because of the man he loves in between his legs. It’s straight out of a dream but so much better because it’s real and Tommy uses the grip he has on Nikki’s hair to tilt his face back up and kisses him desperately.

Nikki is sharply inhaling through his nose suddenly and he pulls back from the kiss to stare sharply into Tommy’s eyes, his own pale greens dark and wild and it makes Tommy whine to see him that way again. But the alpha shakes his head, rests his forehead against the drummer’s again.

“Is this too fast babe? Do I need to slow down because shit, I can fucking smell how wet you are and if we don’t stop now, I don’t know if I’ll be able to. Tell me, tell me what you want baby.” His voice is pitched so low and his cock throbs when he smells the slick Tommy is producing, struggling to keep his hips still as he flexes his hands around the omega’s thighs.

Tommy is shaking his head, hands carding through Nikki’s long black hair and pulling him back a little to look him in the face, “Don’t stop, Nikki, alpha, don’t stop please.”

Nikki groans, hips rocking forward against Tommy’s, grinding against him deliciously as his hands move back to grip the omega’s ass to hold him up more firmly.

“Don’t fucking stop,” Tommy is saying again, dragging his lips down Nikki’s neck, whimpering at the friction between his legs and the heavy forest rain scent that blossoms on his tongue when he licks over the alpha’s scent gland, giddy at the choked moan he gets as a reward. “It’s not, ah, it’s not too fast, it’s perfect. It’s right, it’s, fucking finally Sixx.”

Nikki feels his lips pull into a smile, “Fucking finally.”

Then he pulls Tommy against him roughly with the grip he has on his ass, making sure he has him secure in his arms before he pulls them away from the door.

Tommy’s legs tighten around his hips, arms around his shoulders, and the needy noise he makes in his throat is intoxicating.

“Don’t worry baby, I won’t drop you.” Nikki teases, thinking Tommy’s gasp and tight grip are from the fear of falling. He keeps them upright as Tommy hides his face in his neck, the omega’s hands moving from his shoulders to feel where the muscles are tight and flexed in his arms.

“I know you won’t, you’re so strong, my alpha.” Tommy calls him so breathlessly, it has Nikki walking back to press him up against the wall next to the door, surging forward to devour the youngers lips in a rough kiss, running his tongue over every surface in Tommy’s mouth. His hands drag along the omega’s legs wrapped around him, up and down his waist, everywhere.

“Tommy, Tommy, fuck, I know baby. I know exactly how you like it.” Nikki thrills, biting at the base of Tommy’s neck in an instinctive bout of possession. “You like that I can carry you around, like that I can move you, shape you however I want. I could hold you up and fuck you right here baby, and you’d fucking love it, wouldn’t you.”

Tommy keens, body burning, absolutely on fire. God, he loved this, always loved how Nikki would talk, Tommy can’t believe that he had forgotten this, but he can’t say those things and expect Tommy to be able to actually answer coherently.

“Come on baby, I want to hear you say it, need to hear what you want,” Nikki whispers lowly in his ear, one hand coming up to grip Tommy’s chin to force him to look at him. Nikki’s breath rushes out of him when he sees the omega’s face, the blush staining his cheeks, curly hair messy, big brown eyes dilated and lips kiss swollen. “Need you to tell me everything you like babe, want to hear everything, want to make it so good for you.”

Tommy moans when Nikki’s hips start moving again, the alpha staring into his eyes expectantly, and really, Nikki did such a wonderful job communicating tonight, so good at starting to bring them back together like they should be, he could do this now for the other man if it means that much.

So he nods, hands clenching on Nikki’s shoulders and nosing at his neck, “I like it Nikki, it’s so good, makes me feel so good, want more baby.”

“Fuck. I’ll give it to you babe, give you anything you want, always.” Nikki pulls him away from the wall and walks him through the kitchen and into the hallway before he stops, “Where do you want me babe? You’re bed, the wall, the floor, god wherever you want, I’m there.”

Tommy laughs at the question, Nikki grinning at the sound. But Tommy quiets after a few seconds and bites his lip, eyes hooded, small smirk growing along with some of his confidence. Nikki isn’t the only one who can tease.

The omega pulls lightly on the long black strands at the base of Nikki’s hairline, reveling in the groan the alpha lets out, the way his hands tighten on his ass, “My bed baby, want you to take me in my bed, want you to get your scent all over it and me, please, alpha.”

Nikki breaths in sharply, heat punching through his gut and he starts down the hall, kicking the door open that Tommy points to, “Don’t fucking push me Tommy. I’m struggling to control myself as it is.”

“Don’t,” Tommy gasps as Nikki drops him down onto the bed before kneeling between the omega’s spread legs. Nikki stops at the word, hands kneading into the younger boy’s thighs, but not moving down and Tommy realizes that he didn’t finish his sentence. He had gotten overwhelmed by the alpha’s scent surrounding him and the notion of having Nikki in his bed like this.

“Don’t control yourself Nik, I want it, I want you so bad, can fucking handle anything you give me.” Tommy reaches up and uses a hand on Nikki’s neck to pull himself up, arching his back to peck the alpha on the lips, “I can handle you, baby.”

Nikki’s growl comes from deep in his chest as he reaches out and pulls the black tee shirt off of Tommy swiftly before pushing him back down. Tommy’s a fucking perfect omega, so fucking beautiful just like Nikki remember, long slender limbs, flat stomach, small waist. Nikki eyes the small swell of his hips through the fishnet with hunger, hands yanking his own tank top over his head and throwing it off to the side before sinking down into the omega’s arms and attaching his mouth to Tommy’s collarbones, biting harshly to hear him yelp and then soothing the mark with soft licks, moving on to suck bruises into the line of his throat. His hands smooth up the soft skin of his sides until he gets to his chest, both thumbs rubbing at his nipples.

Tommy whines, long and needy as Nikki continues the assault on his chest, fingers pinching and pulling as he sits back to watch the omega squirm, “Fuck, yeah, you can handle me. I know you can babe, I remember, you’re going to be so good for me, already making me so fucking hard sweetheart.”

Nikki abandons one of his nipples to grab a hand that Tommy has thrown over his head, bringing it down and putting it on the bulge of his cock and even through the material of his jeans, the touch is heavenly.

“Feel that babe? That’s for you, you’re making your alpha so fucking hard because you’re so goddamn hot. Want you more than anything baby.”

Tommy can’t do much at this point but moan helplessly at the words, his hand rubs at Nikki’s cock through his jeans and the omega’s mouth waters because it’s so hard and feels so big in his hand, just like it always did.

“Shit, T.” Nikki groans, ducking back down to kiss him roughly, fast, before moving down to take a nipple into his mouth, sucking gently and flicking his tongue against it, loving the way Tommy arches it further into his mouth, hands attaching to Nikki’s hair, pulling lightly and whimpering so pretty for him.

Nikki continues to kiss his way down, sucks a bruise or two into his ribs and then busies himself with making hickies across his hips as he unbuttons and unzips the tight black jean still keeping him from seeing all of the drummer.

“Nikki, mmm, feels so good, come here, please, fuckin’ want to kiss you.” And really, Nikki doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to deny his drummer anything ever again, so he moves back up Tommy’s body and kisses him deep.

The alpha feels Tommy’s hands caressing down his chest and abs, fingers tracing the indents of the lean muscle, making him groan until the omega finally reaches his jeans, undoing his own button and opening the zipper, both struggling to push each other’s pants down while still staying connected in their kiss.

Eventually they break apart in giggles when it of course doesn’t work, then Nikki kisses Tommy quickly once more before moving off him and the bed and hurriedly removing his jeans and underwear in one smooth movement. He groans at the relief of his cock being free from the tightness of his pants and when he looks up Tommy is staring at him with so much desire in his eyes, tongue coming out to wet his lips, and Nikki knows that look. He remembers that look so fucking well, it has him letting out a heated moan.

He gets back on the bed quickly and pushes Tommy down where the boy was attempting to get up with a firm hand on his chest.

“Now, now babe,” Nikki says as Tommy whines at being pushed back down, “As much as I am dying to see those pretty lips around my cock, I really don’t think I’ll last as long as I want inside of you if you do that first.”

Tommy pouts and it makes Nikki huff out a laugh in surprise, “You can blow me after baby, promise. Right now I just need to get inside of you before I go crazy.”

The omega moans and nods in acceptance, “Okay, okay Nik, just please, hurry.”

Nikki’s hands drop back down to Tommy’s hips, pushing down below the material of his pants and peeling them off slowly, eyes never leaving the omega’s until they’re completely off. Nikki’s heart pounds as his eyes run over every inch of the younger boy below him, moving to settle on his haunches so he can look at all of him. He’s so pretty, so goddamn pretty. His cock is long and thin, curving up along his pelvis, long legs smooth and slender and covered in those goddamn fishnets that drive him crazy to look at. Nikki pushes the stockings down his legs mournfully, sad to see them go but his mouth waters when he sees Tommy’s thighs glistening with slick. With his pants removed, the sweet smell of it is even stronger and Nikki feels desperation move him to grab Tommy’s ankles and drag him further down the bed so Nikki can run his hands down his legs, wrap them around the underside of his thighs and push them back towards the omega’s chest.

Tommy moans loudly at the rough action, feeling another wave of slick gush out of him at the manhandling and shivering at Nikki’s answering growl when the alpha sees it where he’s staring at him with those intense green eyes.

Tommy is fucking gorgeous ivory skin everywhere and Nikki could come just from looking at him for too long.

He has plans for now though, and as much as he wants to dive at the omega’s entrance immediately, Tommy’s thighs are driving him wild. Bending down from where he’s holding him up and open, Nikki groans when he sinks his teeth into the flesh of the inside of Tommy’s right thigh, making the boy underneath him cry out in surprise.

Tommy’s hands attach themselves to his hair again and when Nikki looks up, the omega is looking down at him, lips open and panting, expression absolutely wrecked as he whimpers when Nikki grinds his teeth into the flesh of his thigh. Nikki feels a little crazy, but he can’t stop licking and sucking at the soft skin, the taste of his slick sweet on his tongue and tempting him to move closer to the source but it’s not until Tommy begs him, strings of ‘Nik, please’ and ‘more, Nikki, god I need more’, does he move his hands to his ass, spreading him apart and giving a firm lick right over his hole.

“You’re so fucking pretty down here Tommy, so smooth and gorgeous for me babe, gonna eat you out so good.”

The broken whimper he gets is addicting and Nikki wants to hear it again, so he moves up a bit, lets Tommy’s legs fall onto his shoulders, hands groping at the firm cheeks in his palms, and presses his face in deep, tongue licking over his hole gently, gliding through his slick over and over until he firms his tongue up and feels Tommy opening up for it and drives it inside as deep as he can.

Tommy is floating, distantly he can hear himself making these embarrassing high pitched gasps with every thrust of Nikki’s tongue, arching his back and using the grip he has on the alpha’s hair to keep him in place as if the other boy had any notion of moving, but he can’t think about anything other than the pleasure he’s in. Tommy feels the pressure building in his lower stomach, heat getting too intense and his cock twitching as pre-come drips from the tip.

“Nn-Nikki, please, unnn, you have to stop, I’m gonna, ah, gonna come if you don’t s-stop.” Tommy moans and his toes curl when Nikki’s tongue rubs against the walls of his entrance.

Nikki pulls back just a little, enough for Tommy to see his lips, his nose and chin wet with his slick, his eyes are impossibly dark, jaw sharp and Tommy’s thighs tremble at the arousal that moves through him at the sight.

The alpha grins darkly when he feels it, turning to place a small kiss on the biggest bite mark he left on his thigh, “Then come babe, fucking want you to come from my mouth, I’ll make you come again when I’m inside you, don’t you worry about that.”

And then he’s diving back down, lips closing around Tommy’s rim and sucking hard while one of his hands squeezes around the omega’s cock and Tommy feels his orgasm ripped from him, body shaking and belatedly realizing that he had screamed Nikki’s name.

The alpha licks him through it, not stopping even when Tommy whines as he starts getting hard again too fast and it’s sensitive and so good it hurts a little.

Nikki pulls off with one last kiss to the omega’s thigh and moves back so that Tommy’s hips fall back down to the bed, hitching his legs up to wrap around his waist again and resting his weight on his forearms on either side of Tommy’s head so he can kiss him, groaning when Tommy starts sucking at his tongue. He rubs his hips against Tommy’s ass where it’s still tilted up a bit, cock getting wet from the slick the younger boy is still producing, the head catching on Tommy’s rim a few times.

“Nik, Nikki, need you inside me now, please, no more teasing, I’m so wet for you, ready for you, need you to fuck me, been waiting so long for it, please alpha, please.” Tommy babbles, desperate for the older boy to just slide into him already, tilting his hips up to try to get him inside.

Nikki lets out a harsh breath, “Baby, fuck, babe wait, need to get a condom.”

Tommy makes a plaintive whine in his throat before pushing at Nikki’s shoulders, the unexpected movement catching Nikki off guard so he’s easy for Tommy to push down onto his back and straddle him.

The alpha grunts when he feels Tommy reach a hand back and grab his cock, his hands flying up to hold the omega’s hips when the drummer rubs him against his entrance andTommy whimpers at the awestruck look on Nikki’s face.

“I’m clean, I’m clean Nik and I know you are too and I’m on birth control. We don’t need a condom, want to feel you in me, please baby.” Tommy bites his lip, wanting to sink down onto Nikki’s cock, has been wanting it in him since Nikki took off his pants and he saw it, big and hard and as perfect as Tommy remembered.

Nikki groans, shooting to sit up straight, mouth meeting Tommy’s in an open kiss, arms wrapping around his waist and hips and pulling him down so he sinks onto the alpha’s cock below him. Tommy feels his heart swelling as they finally start connecting in the most intimate way.

Nikki grits his teeth as inch by inch his cock disappears into Tommy’s warmth, he feels heady, light headed and Tommy is panting by the time he’s fully seated. Tommy can see the tears clinging to Nikki’s lash line as they sit still for a minute, body’s getting used to the sensation of being connected again. Nikki needs to distract himself from the surge of emotions flooding through him so he grips Tommy’s ass roughly, and talks.

“Fuck babe, fucking hell baby, you feel so good around me. Took my cock so well babe, so tight and wet, beyond my dreams, can’t wait to fuck you, can you move now sweetheart? Wanna see you fuck yourself on my cock.” Tommy’s body is a live wire listening to his alpha whispering filth in his ears and his hips start rocking without him even thinking about it when Nikki asks him to move.

He’s gentle at first, just a soft rocking motion but before he knows it he’s bouncing himself onto Nikki’s cock, hips grinding when he sinks all the way down, his alpha gripping his hips, fingers sinking into the flesh and groaning into his ear.

It feels so good, so good beyond anything Tommy has ever felt in the past year and his mind jumps back to earlier when Nikki had asked him to let him know what he liked and so he starts to tell him.

“Nngh, Nikki, oh, so good, your cock is so good, baby, I want it, want it more, want more, don’t hold back.”

Nikki snarls in his ear, throwing Tommy down against the mattress, arms over his head, before hitching his legs around his waist and sinking his cock back into his entrance. The wet sound makes Tommy squirm because he’s dripping, he doesn’t think his body has ever produced so much slick outside of a heat before. Nikki sets a brutal pace, thrusting into Tommy with smooth thrusts that end with a snap that have him moaning every time his cock punches into him.

The alpha gives his own deep, long moan when he feels Tommy purposely tightening around him, teasing him and Nikki smacks his ass once in warning.

“Be good babe, be good for me. I don’t want to have to punish you.” Nikki smirks when Tommy flushes further, gasping when Nikki sits up and grips his hips hard enough to bruise, tilting them up to change the angle and nailing his prostrate on every other thrust. Tommy’s hands latch onto his shoulders, dragging him back down so they can slip to claw at his back, rolling his hips up to meet Nikki’s in a nasty grind that makes his legs shake.

Nikki is fucking hot above him, sleek with sweat, green eyes dark and narrowed in concentration, breathing harshly through open lips. Tommy can see his abs flexing every time he thrusts into him and he is winded by the thought that this beautiful man is in his arms again. The idea has him clawing into his back more harshly, giving his own dark grin through his panting when Nikki hisses at the sensation and looks at him heatedly.

Tommy arches his back so he can bite at Nikki’s neck, sinking his own teeth into the base where it meets his shoulder and then licking at the mark, moaning into the alpha’s ear, “Mine, my alpha, mine.”

Hearing the possession in the declaration snaps something in Nikki and Tommy licks his lips at the wild look in the alpha’s eyes before the older boy is pulling out, flipping him over, pulling up on his hips and growling out a “chest down” that has Tommy automatically complying, screaming when Nikki pounds back into him from behind.

Nikki has a bruising grip on his hips and he’s forcibly moving his ass to bounce back on his cock with every thrust forward and Tommy has never been fucked this good before. He feels dumb with pleasure, crying out because Nikki is hitting him just right every single time and he’s in total control of how Tommy moves and it’s so good, he’s crying.

“You’re so fucking hot babe, and all mine. Missed you so fucking much baby. I’m yours, your alpha, but you’re my fucking omega, my baby, mine.” Nikki’s voice is all base now, gritty and he growls at how fucking good Tommy looks below him. The drummer’s long slender back is bowed, chest to the bed just like he asked, skin glistening with sweat and face contorted in pleasure. He keeps making these ‘ah, ah, ah’s’ that are driving Nikki out of his mind, moans making Nikki’s cock twitch where he’s buried inside of him.

“You look so damn hot on my cock sweetheart, never seen anything so fucking beautiful, sound so good, do you feel good baby? Tell me how good you feel taking my cock.” Nikki lifts his hips up further and Tommy screams again.

“I- ahhh, nnngh Nn-nikki, ff-fuck, ahh I can’t, mmm…” Nikki smirks at the other boy, slowing his thrusts down until he’s just grinding his cock lightly into Tommy’s prostrate, making him shiver and whimper.

“Sorry baby, I was making it hard for you to answer me, go ahead now babe, tell me how good I’m making you feel, please, need to hear it baby.” Nikki whispers in his ear, leaning over to drape across his back, pushing his cock impossibly deeper into the omega beneath him.

Tommy whines, trying to push his ass back and fuck himself on Nikki’s cock, squeezing around him unconsciously to try to entice him into thrusting again, but all he gets for his effort is a smack to his ass that has him jolting.

“Please Nikki, please don’t stop, keep fucking me, it’s so good, the best, fucking me better than anyone else could alpha, I’m so close, gonna come again for you, plea- ahhhh!”

Tommy screams again when Nikki abruptly starts fucking him even harder than before, snapping his hips so hard Tommy is pushed up the mattress until he puts his hands against the headboard, making it bang against the wall harshly with every thrust.

Nikki leans forward and licks at the back of Tommy’s neck, feels the omega squeeze tightly around him, feels his body shake.

“I love you Tommy, fucking love you so much baby, come on, come for me again. Want to feel you come on my dick.”

And then Nikki bites down, right underneath Tommy’s scent gland and Tommy moans his name so loudly as he comes, hole contracting around his cock, Nikki couldn’t hold off his own orgasm if he tried, groaning lowly as his come flows into the omega and the brief instinctual flash of an idea bursts into his mind, of breeding Tommy, of seeing him swollen with his pups growing inside of him and his heart jolts and he’s dropping kisses along every inch of skin he can reach, pulling out of the younger boy slowly.

Tommy turns around onto his back and Nikki’s hands come up to cradle his jaw, peppering his face and neck with kisses, whispering under his breath, “Love you baby, I love you so much Tommy, can’t even fucking believe this is real, you did so good, so good babe, absolutely unreal. You’re fucking amazing.”

Tommy’s tired arms come up around his back, meeting Nikki’s mouth suddenly to kiss him, once, twice, again and again.

“I love you Nikki,” Tommy says, rubbing his nose against Nikki’s cheek, eyes a bit teary from the intense pleasure of their fucking and from how loved he feels with Nikki whispering endless praise and confessions of love. “Love you so fucking much, my alpha, missed you so much.”

Nikki settles onto his back and pulls Tommy to him with an arm around his waist. Tommy nuzzles his faces into Nikki’s chest, yawning but smiling right after when he feels Nikki burying his nose in his hair and inhaling.

Tommy’s eyes are falling shut against his will, still fighting against the pull of sleep until Nikki presses a kiss against his forehead, “Sleep baby.”

~April 12th, 2018~

Tommy slowly comes into consciousness with the feeling of arms wrapped around his waist and kisses being pressed into his neck from behind. He smiles, can’t help himself when his lover is touching him like this.

“You need to be careful there Sixx, I might start expecting this kind of treatment all the time.”

Nikki pauses his kisses for a short moment and Tommy feels his lips pull into a smile of his own against his skin.

“I’ll do this every day for the rest of our lives as long as you want me Tommy.”

~May 16th, 2019~

When he wakes up, Nikki is still asleep next to him. Tommy hadn’t pulled the blinds shut the night before and the sun is filtering into the windows and making Nikki’s tan skin glow. He’s so busy looking at the man that he doesn’t even notice that Nikki is awake and staring right back at him.

“Good morning baby.”

Tommy startles a little before blushing at the soft, loving look in Nikki’s eyes. He shifts onto his side so that he’s facing the alpha, “Hi.”

Nikki smiles and moves onto his own side to mirror Tommy, hand coming up to tangle gently into his curls, “Hi.”

“So that was, beyond fucking incredible.” Tommy says it quietly, enjoying the stillness of the moment.

Nikki nods emphatically but he’s sobering up quickly, “Are you okay though, I didn’t come here with that as my intention Tommy, I really want to do this right, I need to get this right.”

Tommy arches his back to press a soft kiss to Nikki’s lips, staying close when he pulls away, “I’m perfect Nikki. Screw how anyone else would handle this, that was us baby.”

Nikki’s smile spreads back onto his face and he presses their foreheads together with a happy little sigh,  “Yeah.”

He’s about to say more but Tommy’s stomach gives a loud growl and they laugh at the interruption.

Nikki grins, “You want to add a breakfast date to today’s agenda too?”

“Only if you take me to that diner where we met.”

Tommy knows they still have a lot to talk about. They have healing to do, both individually and together. He needs to apologize, he had been the one to run off after all and even if he had a good reason, he was serious when he told Nikki that he was responsible for their split as well. He needs to apologize to Mick and Vince for having left them like that and not even being strong enough to talk to them about it.

They need to catch up on everything that had happened over the past year, but Nikki gives him an excited laugh in response to his request, practically pulling him off the bed with him to get ready to go and says, “Anything for you baby.”

And Tommy knows that they’ll get to all of that. For now though, for now, he’s fully alive with Nikki. Just like they were always meant to be.

[carry-on-my-pretty-weeper]

Catching Lightning Chapter 5

Author: carry-on-my-pretty-weeper

Character(s): Peter Parker, MJ, Flash, Mr.Delmar, Reader, and Ned

Word Count: 2k+

Warnings: cursing, bullying, sleep-deprivation 

Author’s Note: so i got really carried away and wrote a lot! I literally have two more updates queued but i hope you guys like it!

Masterlist for the series!

You finished your last homework assignment at about 11 am. You didn’t really need to go to sleep yet so you checked to make sure your parents were asleep. 

They came back an hour after you started your homework. Apparently your dad wasn’t home because he was picking your mom up for a surprise date. But when they got home they almost immediately went to bed after they said their goodnights and I love yous. Old people am I right?

You tiptoed and listened against their door. All you heard was the fan they kept in their room and soft snores. Grabbing your ‘hero bag’ you went to the roof of your building. It was higher up than the properties around it but you still lifted the hood of your jacket to cover your face. You had started wearing hoodies more frequently to hide the giant burn mark on your arms from the lightning. If your parents knew they would have a cow and take you to the doctors to check it out. But that’s the last place you wanted to go because if they found out about your powers you were a goner.

You placed soda cans on a bench and stood a couple feet away from it. You visualized an arrow of lightning leaving your hand and hitting the can and sure enough it did! You’re basically a young Thor you thought to yourself. Could you become as powerful as Thor? That would be amazing! But first you had to learn to control your powers better. Even though you did hit the can you also knocked over the other four cans. If an attacker was holding a victim you would be useless. Setting up the cans again you tried to focus on hitting just one. You hit two but it’s better than five. 

Thinking of Wonder Woman’s whip you wondered if you could use the energy of the lightning as a rope. To test your hypothesis you envisioned a line of lightning but it didn’t work. So you tried to feel the energy and place it in one string. The more you focused on the energy the more prominent the shape became. When it was as strong as you liked it you whipped it toward the can and grabbed it! You tried to yank it back but you used too much force and ended up hitting yourself in the face with the can. “Fuck!” you said as you rubbed above your eyebrow. It hurt more than you thought it was going to. You were definitely going to get a small bruise later. 

Deciding that this had been enough practice you packed up and stealthily made your way back to your fire escape. Crawling through your window you jumped to your floor quietly and took off your hoodie. You looked in the mirror at your body. It had definitely changed you seemed a bit more muscular. When had that happened? Was this a perk of the lightning? Well it was a great perk not going to lie. Then you examined the burn on your arms. It reached from the palm of your hand and traveled up along your arm until it hit your collar bone where it reflected itself on the other side. Looking at it closer it resembled lightning. God you felt like that’s what your life revolved around now. How did you even survive getting hit by it let alone get powers from it, you thought to yourself as you flung onto your bed. Before going to bed you scrolled through Amazon to buy some stuff so you could get started on your suit. The sooner you finished the sooner you could start helping people. After adding everything to your cart and purchasing it you connected your phone to it’s charger.

You as soon as you closed your eyes you fell asleep. You then woke up to your alarm clock going off. Turning it off you slid off your bed and went to pick out an outfit. You wished that you could wear one of your favorite band tees but that would require you to show your arms. So you went with a black undershirt and sweater from your dad’s college, he’d surely get a kick out of that. After finishing everything you required to be ready for school you went to the kitchen for food. Your kitchen wasn’t empty as your mother was currently standing by the fridge grabbing some yogurt.

“Oh sweetie there you are. I was wondering if you could pick up milk on the way home today?” she asked with a voice as sweet as honey.

“Sure mom, is there anything else we need?” you questioned as she handed you money.

“If you wanted to you could grab some fruit for Eddie,” your mom replied.

“Okie dokie,” you said as she kissed you on the forehead. You grabbed a banana and chips and made your way out the door.

“Have a good day at school,” she yelled after you.

Entering the school you spotted MJ so you ran to catch up with her. She noticed your presence and gave you a tired smile. “Another all nighter?” you questioned. MJ was notorious for not sleeping. She really cared about her grades but you hated seeing her health suffer for it. She nodded which meant that when you guys sat down for lunch later you were her designated pillow. You took the banana out of your backpack that was supposed to be your breakfast and gave it to her. She tried to refuse. “You need energy besides I already ate breakfast,” you lied. She eyed you before taking it. She peeled it open and started to eat it.

“See isn’t that better,” you said in your best mom voice. She mocked you with her mouth full of banana. That caused you to laugh which caught the attention of a certain asshole.

“Didn’t know you were part hynea y/n,” Flash said to you while walking over.

“Yep, definitely, that makes total biological sense. Gosh you are just so smart Flash,” you retorted as sarcastically as possible.

“You better watch your mouth y/n,” Flash warned. He was getting too close to you for your liking. But you didn’t need to say anything as MJ just shot him her famous ‘shut the fuck up’ look.

“Don’t you have a freshmen to go bully?” MJ spoke up. This made Flash roll his eyes and walk away. God what a pain in the ass. 

“Thanks MJ,” you said to her. She just shrugged as you guys went to your first block of the day. 

By the time it was lunch you were starving. You got in line and ordered a ton of food. While you were scoping out a table you heard someone yell “Fatass!” As you turned around you saw the source of the voice was Flash. Of course it was.

“Yet somehow I have more muscles than you,” you shot back. This was getting tiring. You learned that if you didn’t care about what people call you, they got boring. Finding an empty table you set your stuff down and see Ned and Peter enter the cafeteria.

“Peter! Ned! Over here!” you yell over the chatter of the school. They see you and quickly make their way over.

“Where’s MJ?” Ned asked.

“I don’t know but she did pull an all nighter so she could be napping in the library,” you said. As if on cue MJ walks into the cafeteria with the same bored expression as always. Catching her attention with your waving hand she walks over to your group. You move your backpack and scooch over so she can lay down. She slides on the bench and puts her head in your lap. You start playing with her hair to try to put her at ease. She just seemed so exhausted.

“I know that you want to get good grades but you also need sleep,” you say with concern evident in your voice. “How much sleep did you get last night?” you inquired. She kept her eyes close but you could tell she heard you. So you stopped playing with her in an attempt to get her to answer you. 

“Mhhmm,” was all she said which was her way of telling you to continue playing with her hair.

“I won’t even let you sleep on my lap if you don’t tell me,” you challenged.

“Fine, like 5 hours,” she said grumbling, “now hair.” She was bossy when she tired. You continued threading your fingers in her hair.

“Michelle you need to get more sleep than that. Please promise me you’ll get at least 8 hours tonight,” you insisted.

“6,” she countered. Your face scrunched up into a frown. That definitely wasn’t enough sleep for her.

“7,” you said with no room for argument.

“Fine,” she said as she rolled so that her back was facing the outside of a table. Sometimes you felt like a mom with this group. While you and MJ started arguing about sleeping hours Ned and Peter were in a completely different conversation. Ned seemed to get excited while Peter seemed nervous about Ned’s increasingly loud voice. Shushing him caused your attention to turn to him. Trying to think of a not weird reason to be shushing Ned, Peter explains that MJ was sleeping and they shouldn’t be loud which seemed to make you happy.

“Dude you can’t talk so loud. No one not even MJ or Y/n can know I’m Spiderman,” Peter whispered to Ned.

“I know but you’ve been taking down so many bad guys lately and I want to know all about it! After all I’m the guy in the chair,” he whisper yelled at Peter. The bell rang cutting their conversation short.

“Tell me about it after school,” Ned stated before running off to his next class. You and MJ were still packing up your stuff. You desperately needed to go as your class was on the other side of school but you were going to make sure MJ got to her class. Peter realized this and offered to take her. “I’m right here and I can get to my class by myself,” she declared.

“Even if you can I just want to make sure you get there. Remember what happened last semester?” you said trying to get her to accept help. Last semester after two weeks of poor sleeping habits Michelle ended up passing out on the way to class. This completely freaked you out and made you feel bad for not realizing how bad her health had gotten. Now you were firm on this and she wasn’t going to change your mind. With a huff she started her walk with Peter. You waved bye to them both as you took off for your next class.

The end of the day was crawling by. Your leg had been bouncing up and down for the past 15 minutes. You were sure your partner was getting annoyed but class was so close to being over. 3...2...1. With that the bell rang announcing your freedom. You flung your backpack over your shoulder, said a quick thank you to the teacher and ran to the front of the school where your friends were all gathering.

“Hey y/n are you down to hang out today?” Ned asked. Shit, you wanted to work on your suit stuff.

“Sorry I can’t I have uh a lot of homework today and my parents don’t want my grades to slip,” you said hoping he’d believe you.

“Oh okay then maybe next time?” he replied seeming a little sad since you all usually hang out after school. You felt super bad but this was something you had to do.

“For sure, I promise!” you said before taking off. 

On your way home you remembered your mom wanted you to get milk. Making a quick detour you ended up in front of Delmar's Deli-Grocery. Walking into the store you quickly exchange greetings with Mr.Delmar. “In a hurry today are we y/n?” Mr.Delmar asked as you grabbed milk and apples. 

“Yep! Got a lot things to do but so little time. But that’s just a day in a life of a high school student,” you say as he rings you up. You give him a twenty and start to leave before he can give you your change.

“You get money back you know?” he added.

“I know it’s for the next batch of new Kit-Kats so you don’t go out of business giving me freebies,” you say jokingly before starting home.

When you arrive at your apartment you give Eddie an apple and a smile before heading up. Walking up to your door you notice everything you ordered last night was there. They weren’t kidding when they said fast shipping. Unlocking the door you brought everything inside. Opening everything up in your room you put everything in sections. 

You didn’t know how long it would take but you did know one think. It was time to get to work.

What the final product of the sketch was

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@markusstraya

@speggehi

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@condy-wants-a-cookie

@feline-space

[scornedlove]

Chapter Two

ROBYN

The doctor’s appointment went better than I thought it would. I’m sure it’s because he’s used to doing this with Kate but his support was greatly appreciated. He heard the baby’s heartbeat for the first time and I swear his face almost made me cry. You could literally see the happiness in his eyes.

“That’s my boy in there” he cheesed when the nurse gave us the heart rate of 126. “Mama told me if the heartbeat was less than 140, it would be a boy.”

“The gender doesn’t matter to me. As long as my baby is healthy, I will be a happy mama” I replied as the nurse wiped the gel off of my stomach. She told us the doctor was running behind schedule today, but that he would be in soon.

After twenty minutes of silence, I asked about mama J and he blankly said she was doing fine. I took his demeanor as a sign to leave him alone. Another fifteen minutes of silence went by, so by the time the doctor came in I was happy to see him.

The first thing I made sure to mention was the random spells of blurred vision. He said it was common during pregnancy but made it clear that he didn’t want me driving anymore due to this. I also wanted to know why my feet were so swollen lately, even on the days I didn’t move much. He told me this was also normal. He said I should keep my feet elevated as often as I could and asked Chris to make sure I was drinking a lot of water.

The only question Chris had was “Why doesn’t she look pregnant yet?”

He explained that first-time moms often start showing later because their muscles haven't been stretched by a previous pregnancy and women who are tall have long torsos, so they may have a smaller-looking bump because they have more space for the baby to fill lengthwise. 

“Everything looks fine” he stated when we were finished with the pelvic exam. “We scheduled your ultrasound for tomorrow at 7am, with our radiology department, as long as everything looks good there, I’ll see you again in about 6 weeks. Take care” he smiled brightly as he left the office.

“Thank you for being here and I’m sorry for not telling you sooner” I apologized to Chris once we were alone on the elevator. Normally Mel would come to my appointment with me but she was in New York for a few days. Her work was doing well in Michael’s gallery so he wanted to feature her in another gallery of his. 

“You know what you did was fucked up, but I’m going to let it go. I’m here now and I just want to be a good dad. Just don’t ever leave me out like that again. I want to be here through the good, the bad, the ups, and the downs, not only for my son” he smirked. “but for you too...and yeah, I know the way shit played out is crazy as fuck, but we’re here now” he said placing his hand on my stomach. “Everything happens for a reason” he stated just as the doors opened. Even though my vision was fine right now, he wouldn’t let me drive myself home. 

“No driving under doctor’s orders” he reminded me. He said he would get my car to me later today and made me promise to call him when I needed a ride anywhere. “I know you got your girls and your crew, but if you need me, call me.”

I felt even stupider now for not telling him sooner. After today, I could tell he was mature enough to be a supportive dad and all my worrying went out the window.

CHRIS

After hearing my son’s heartbeat, I instantly had a high. I wanted to meet him immediately and couldn’t wait for the ultrasound to confirm that it was a boy. With it being Cinco de mayo Saturday, I had so much going on at the gallery so I had to rush back to the office. We were preparing for the festival which meant running around to make sure everything was in order. 

The first thing I did was have Tina reschedule the meetings I had tomorrow morning. It meant I would be busy for the rest of the week, but I couldn’t let anything interfere with me making that ultrasound appointment. 

I didn’t get around to picking Robyn’s car up for a few hours. I had Tina take me to Robyn’s car and follow me to drop it off. I try to refrain from having her help me with personal things since we’re usually busy at the gallery, but it was last minute and she seemed to have no problem with it.

“Thanks, you know I wouldn’t ask you for anything extra unless it was my last resort” I expressed as I hopped in her passenger seat. Robyn was asleep and Jenn was locking up so I left the keys with her. I wouldn’t dare disrupt a sleeping pregnant woman.

“Now you know I don’t mind helping you out. Just count it as your early birthday gift!” she joked.

“Man, I’ve had so much going on, I haven’t even realized my birthday is a few days away” I exclaimed shaking my head.

“Wow, and your birthday is literally a holiday” she giggled and I chuckled aloud. After a few moments of silence, she opened her mouth to speak but changed her mind.

“What’s up T?” I quizzed. I just noticed her demeanor was somewhat different than the ride to Robyn’s, she seemed awkward and uncomfortable now.

She cleared her throat, glanced in my direction, then looked back at the road. “I know it’s none of my business, but you and K seem to be doing good together...why would you ruin that by going back to the woman who practically left you at the alter?” she probed.

“Whoa” I retorted. “I don’t know where you got the idea that me and K were ‘together’ but we aren’t. Besides, that’s none of your business” I replied. I was shocked at the fact that she would ask me something so personal. I know her and K had grown pretty close when she was working for me, but that wasn’t an excuse.

“I’m sorry. I thought...never mind. Forget I asked” she mumbled. The rest of the ride was silent so I figured she was embarrassed.

When I finally made it home it was later than usual. I was tired but still in a good mood. I sat in the car for another half hour, smoking and listening to music before going inside. It was completely dark and quiet so I figured K had already passed out in the guest room.

I was taking a piss in the bathroom when I heard my phone go off, which was weird because I thought I left it in the car like I usually do. It felt like the piss was never-ending so I leaned all my weight against the wall in front of me and relaxed.

“You’re later than usual” K stated pulling the shower curtain back and scaring the shit out of me. She was in my bathtub soaking, with bubbles up to her neck. Thank God I was holding onto the wall, because piss would’ve been everywhere otherwise.

“Dammit K, What the fuck!” I yelled in shock. “There’s a bathroom downstairs too, you know this” I continued annoyed.

“The water wasn’t getting hot enough” she whined. “I thought it was ok, my bad.” she continued, standing abruptly.

“Naw, go ahead and finish” I encouraged her as I washed my hands.

“What took you so long today?” she asked again.

“I had some things to take care of, why?” I asked leaving the bathroom with her on my heels. She grabbed my robe, threw it on, and tied it around her body. 

“I could’ve went into labor and you would’ve been unreachable...I called and texted but did I get an answer?” she continued annoyingly.

“Look K, I know shit can get confusing because of the circumstances, but let me clear it up for you. We are not in a relationship, so chill with the questions, nagging, and shit” I replied as calmly as I could. 

She stared at me in shock for a minute before her eyes filled with tears. 

“I’m going to bed, is there anything else?” I asked when her eyes and feet never moved. Instead of replying she sniffed back the tears that never dropped and stomped down the stairs.

ROBYN

“Robyn...Anna...Rih” I thought aloud as I sat in a recliner brainstorming perfume names. I was excited about adding a self-titled perfume collection to the store. Each one would express a different side of me, which was the challenge. It’s now one in the morning, yet I’m still on edge. My ultrasound is literally in a few hours and I’m anxiously counting down.

“We gotta get some sleep babies” I smiled as I lay my left hand over my tummy and patted Ollie’s head with my right. He barked twice then hopped from the floor to my lap. I closed my laptop and set it aside as we crawled into bed together.

The next time I opened my eyes, it was six am. I stretched, took my time showering, rubbing my body down in Shea butter, and getting dressed. I threw on shorts with a hoodie, blow dried my hair, and grabbed a banana to eat as I headed downstairs to wait on Chris’ arrival.

It was 6:40 when I finally decided he was pushing it and gave him a call. After the third call in five minutes, I gave up. His phone was going straight to voicemail anyway, so it was no use. I felt fine and my vision wasn’t blurry today so I grabbed my keys and was out the door.

The morning breeze felt great as it whipped through my hair. I had Bob Marley blaring through my speakers while I weaved through the cars down the freeway, trying to make it on time. They gave a 15 minute grace period so I was praying I wouldn’t end up having to reschedule. I was ready to find out the sex of the little piece of me growing inside, who wouldn’t be?

“He better have a damn good excuse as to why he’s MIA” I grunted to myself as I neared the hospital. It was already 7:00, so I had time to park, get through the building, and check in within the next 15 minutes. 

“Stay green” I pleaded as I neared the last streetlight before the parking garage.

“Yes!” I celebrated, crossing into the intersection “I ma-” I began just before a loud bang pierced my ears. A sharp pain came stabbing through my left side just before everything went black.

CHRIS

“Still dilated to a 1″ the nurse announced. Another false alarm. Kate had woken me a little before 5 am telling me it was time, she had been having contractions for the past hour and they were getting unbearable. After four hours of having labs drawn and her cervix checked every so often, it was finally time to go.

When I was finished getting K settled at the house, I quickly showered and headed out the door. I picked up my phone to call Tina and let her know I was thrown off schedule but on my way until I noticed the missed calls from Rob.

“Fuck, I missed the ultrasound” I exclaimed smacking the steering wheel. I returned her call but didn’t get an answer. “I’m sorry I missed the appointment, just give me a chance to explain.” I pleaded before ending the voicemail.

Instead of waiting for a call back, I headed straight to her shop. I couldn’t chance her pushing me away or keeping me from my child. 

“Welcome to Robyn’s” Paige smiled brightly as she greeted me when I walked in. “Oh, it’s just Chris” she waved me off playfully.

“Is Robyn upstairs?” I asked as I headed in that direction.

“She actually had and appointment this morning and hasn’t made it back yet, do you want me to tell her you stopped by?” Jenn asked as she opened boxes behind the counter. The phone rang and she jumped to answer it in the same cheerful tone Paige greeted me with. 

“Oh hey Mel...oh my God...” her smile quickly disappeared. “...is she okay? He’s actually here now...I’ll let him know” 

“Robyn is in the ICU at Westwood Medical Center”

I practically flew to the hospital but still ended up waiting forever in the lobby. I was on my way to the front desk again when the doctor finally called my name.

“Mr. Brown, I’m Dr. Allen. I understand you are Robyn’s boyfriend?” he asked and all I could do was nod. I was fearful of bad news and my voice was caught in my throat. “The airbag got her pretty good, she has a concussion and a couple of broken ribs. She lost a lot of blood vaginally and the placenta ruptured. She’s stable but we’ll be keeping a close eye on her and the baby.”

“So the baby is okay?” I probed hopefully.

“The baby is stable. Some mother’s still make it full term after placental abruption, but it’s too soon to say anything. If you’re ready, I’ll take you to see her now ”he offered. I was no where near ready but I knew I had to be strong so I took a deep breath and nodded my head before following him down the hall.

Seeing Robyn hooked to all the machines with the cuts and bruises on her skin broke me down. I went straight to her side and placed my hand on her face, then her stomach. 

“Hang in there little guy” I fought with everything inside me to keep the tears back, but that was a battle I had no chance with. My phone rang showing a 246 area code, forcing me to pull myself together.

It was a frantic Monica calling to make sure Robyn was okay. When I got her to calm down, I told her she was stable but the accident banged her up pretty bad. I offered to take care of anything she needed to get her down here asap and she said she was on the next thing smoking. She needed to be by her side.

After listening to several hours of beeping from the machines, I needed some air. I went to the cafeteria for a coffee and had a bathroom break. When I made it back to the ICU, I noticed all the doctors were heading in the same direction. I couldn’t make out the noise coming from the intercom the first time, but when I did, the coffee I was holding fell to the floor and my feet followed the direction everyone else was heading. The intercom repeated: CODE BLUE 2F 2022.

“We did everything we could. I’m sorry for your loss” the words no one wanted to hear we’re coming out of the doctor’s mouth. It felt like I was punched in the chest, I couldn’t breathe and I could barely look at Robyn. What was I going to say to her now?

“Do you want to see your son?” Dr. Allen asked compassionately. I nodded and he led me from the hall back to the room. He was the tiniest and most beautiful baby I’d ever seen. He was bundled up tightly in several blankets, I was afraid to touch him. Dr. Allen must have noticed this because he picked up my son and placed him in my arms.

“Take as much time as you need” he smiled sympathetically before leaving the room. He was perfect and I couldn’t take my eyes off him. He had Robyn’s entire face and it made my heart ache even more.

“I just want to let you know, you mean the world to me. Your spirit has brought so much love and happiness to my soul. It just turns out, God needed you more than me. I know we’ll be together again someday, but for now I’ll keep you in my heart. Know that I love you more than words can explain, and promise me you’ll keep an eye on mommy from up there”.

ROBYN

When I opened my eyes, my whole body ached but none of it compared to the pain in my stomach. If felt like someone beat the crap out of me. I could hear monitors beeping and tried turning my head towards the sound.

“Aaagghh” I groaned out in pain.

“Try to relax Ms. Fenty” a voice ordered. My burning eyes followed the voice and spotted a nurse putting gloves on. “I’m nurse Sullivan. You’re in the ICU at Westwood Medical Center. You were in a car accident 4 days ago...” she continued rambling on but I was stuck on the 4 days ago. My head was pounding so hard, my mind couldn’t keep up with her. I closed my eyes and squeezed as hard as I could before I opened them again, this just had to be a nightmare.

“Ms. Fenty” she called out again and I opened my eyes to the same room, the same nurse, and the same excruciating pain. “Your family is in the waiting room, I’ll let them know you’re awake. Your doctor is on his way in” she patted my hand gently.

Two seconds after she disappeared, Mama walked in. Her eyes were bloodshot with heavy bags, as if she hadn’t slept in days. When we made eye contact I could see the relief rush over her face and tears began to fall.

“Kawblema” she whispered softly before kissing my forehead. Seeing her tears made mine come faster and harder. The doctor walked in a moment later to talk about my “condition”. He said I was lucky enough to have walked away with only two broken ribs and a concussion.

“Is my baby okay?” I asked instantly grabbing my stomach. The touch alone intensified the pain, that’s when I felt the stitches.

“We had to perform an emergency c-section on you. He was a fighter, he hung in there for the first 12 hours after the accident, but you suffered from placental abruption. That and the trauma to your stomach was too much stress” he stated in the professional empathetic tone I’m sure he was taught in medical school.

“He?” My heart dropped and tears came pouring out of my eyes. I lost my baby, my son. The more I thought about him, the more I heaved, the more pain I felt physically and mentally.

[volleyboys-imagines]

Maybe a headcanon post of the captains and pets?

omigosh i have literally been waiting for an ask like this since i started bless you anon im sorry if this was late, it’s midterms week!! ||

it’s long, so have fun under the cut!

Sawamura:

German Shepherd, Captain

@faiyuuhi has the Fireman!AU with all the pets and Daichi with Captain was just perf.

I mean, ever since I had this prompt in my head I’ve always been able to see Daichi with a German Shepherd: they’re dependable, loyal, hardworking, smart. But Faiyuuhi just did it so well with her book, I fell in love with the idea even more ❤

Daichi got Captain in college on a whim because he felt lonely and his neighbor was a really good friend that felt owed Daichi so much

So Daichi got a two-month-old German Shepherd

^which he really didn’t know what to name for a while

^but he really wanted to use the name ‘Captain’, and it just kind of stuck

He and Captain go on walks and morning runs together, play catch in the park, do coordinated tricks, even work out at home together (since pets weren’t really allowed to be in the gym)

until ofc the manager at the local gym he works out in saw him running in that park in gym shorts and black tank and says ‘so that’s where he disappears to’ bc he really loves being with Captain so much

and she allows Captain to go to the gym (considering he’s housetrained ofc) and eventually becomes the gym mascot c:

On the topic of tricks, Daichi once brought Captain to the park to practice tricks, and he got an audience that filmed him and his dog

He went a little viral in Miyagi for his ‘Hot Guy and Amazing Dog!!!! AWESOME TRICKS’ or smth like that, and every now and then he does shows in the park

^ after which some spectators offer money for his time

^ now he sets a small box for Captain’s treat budget for extra effort :)

Daichi hates brushing sessions the most, especially during shedding season. 

^and when Captain just shakes his fur out in the middle of the thing omigod

^that is the reason why Daichi hates his carpeted apartment

I didn’t mean to ship Captain with Harper, which came out of nowhere, but why not have some fluff hcs about them

When they’re tired from walks, they snuggle together in a mass of black, brown, red and white fur

Snoot booping. Snoot booping everywhere

Lots of tail wagging, esp when they look at each other

Captain’s pretty shy around Harper, and ducks his head when she runs for him the next time they meet, but really, really likes giving her kisses

They don’t meet when she’s in heat, and they meet on a regular basis when she’s not. Captain looks forward to the meetings and knows what time it is, so when Daichi doesn’t look like he’s bringing Captain to meet with Futakuchi and Harper, he starts barking and howling for her :’(

Oikawa:

Japanese Bobtail, Maenki (maen-ki)

I guess a lot of people would pair his flamboyance with a Persian (which is long-haired and floofy and just screams c l a s s y ) but a long-haired Persian requires daily grooming. Considering this boy’s busy vbc + acads schedule, I don’t think that’s going to work

So I read around since I don’t own a cat, and saw that the Japanese Bobtail would be best over my original idea of having a Scottish Fold

They’re healthy, colorful, and easy to care for, but at the same time affectionate and really great companions.

Oikawa got his at about five months old, a pretty mostly-white tabby calico mix girl with yellow eyes

Her white spots are big, and look like petals dappling her fur, really pretty ❤

He’s wanted one since he saw a Manekineko and read about the folklore too

Later as I was doing this draft I was thinking about my cousin misspelling things, and when she was trying out ‘Manekineko’, she spelled it as ‘Maenkineko’. The Maenki part stuck, since the above hc is that Oikawa likes the Manekineko. :)

He learns that she can ‘talk’, which are mostly chirps and meows strung together

and now when he talks to her, she knows how to respond. Like greeting her good morning earns him her own greeting that, through time, he recognizes as her ‘good morning’ reply

At night, when he can’t call Iwa-chan or Makki or Mattsun, he talks to her, and they have conversations that last hours

She keeps up with his active lifestyle too. Like he does pushups at home and she bats his nose with a paw, or sits on his back

Sometimes he jogs around the street their house is in and she follows

And she’s extra smart too: like she can find the ball in cups, find her ball, etc

She also loves boxes, and will get into anything she can fit into

So he keeps all his boxes closed, and has one especially for her

she doesn’t even touch her furry cat bed, sadly

She scratches him when he tries for her belly too

But she looooves brushing sessions. Like she will try to get those bristles under her chin no matter what, which is problematic since he needs to brush all of her

!! She absolutely loves being pet

And the rest of the Seijou vbc love her to death

Like, she’s the first thing they look for in Oikawa’s home, to Oikawa’s disappointment

Iwaizumi’s really dumbfounded on why Maenki would like someone like him lol

“Look look! Maenki loves Iwa-chan ❤”

^that’s the running joke of the Seijou 3rd years lol but it’s hella fine to Iwa-chan

Sometimes she sucks Makki’s fingers :>

and is utterly terrified of how damn tall Mattsun is :

Kuroo

Medium-sized Poodle, Sushi; Common goldfish, Neko;Plakat Betta, Aki

Kuroo’s love of dogs over cats is canon, so no cats for this tol

His parents agreed he could have a dog, so they got a Medium-sized cream Poodle. Standard was too big, and Toy was too small, so they got one in the middle. His mother was allergic to fur, so they got a poodle

Sushi was the name the breeders kind of tagged him with because at two months, he looked like a riceball

Why not Onigiri? No idea either

^this lil shit is smart af. Regularly gets out of his crate, leash, collar, whatever

Gets into so much mischief too, but that was only because Kuroo wasn’t walking him; all that pent up energy was directed the wrong way

Now they have 15-minute runs and 15-minute training sessions everyday. Sushi now knows enough to enter an obedience competition

The lil shit is fast af, something Kuroo learned while sprinting. Lots of dogs that was Sushi’s size he’s handled before weren’t as fast as this beanpole of ours, but this literal small cloud of fluff could match Kuroo’s sprint over about 200m

(Even though Kuroo is the fastest of the vbc after Tora and Lev)

Neko he won from the college fair. He had no idea what to name it until it jumped out of the tank. He put it back in the tank and lo and behold: it lives!

^and since the first thing he said was that the thing must have nine lives, the name ‘Neko’ stuck

^ to this day, Kenma thinks it’s weird af (but hella cheesy and ironic)

Come spring, as he was cleaning out the tank, he noticed that the container he put Neko in had transparent little balls stuck to the walls. He ran his fingers along the tank walls, and found more of them

The filter was a bitch to clean too

In the end he did a 100% water change, and cleaned including the stand on which the tank sat on

^ this took up an entire Saturday afternoon

That was the day he realized that, for six months, the goldfish was a fricking girl.

Neko was seven months under Kuroo’s care when Aki came home.

Aki is a Grizzle Plakat Betta

Kuroo knew that bettas couldn’t be put into a tank with a four-inch-goldfish because of their size, and because bettas are literally fighting fish

But Kuroo found Aki not in one of those cups, but in a community tank. this means that Aki was already living peacefully with other fish

So after buying the things he needed for Neko’s tank, he had Aki put in a bag to take home c:

So imagine a less-than-an-inch betta with a four-inch-goldfish

Oddly enough, they get along. Well if by ‘getting along’ means ‘no nipped fins’ then they’re good

The name ‘Aki’ (暁) literally means ‘daybreak’. It’s attributed to his pastel body and blue-and-purple fins, literally looking like the morning sky

Sushi once jumped up on the seat right next to the tank and watched the fish for a good five minutes. He goes there every now and then to bark at the tank, and they greet him with omnom faces. (they’re practically best friends now c:)

Futakuchi

Alaskan Malamute, Harper; Guinea pig, Megumi

His aunt was into raising Malamutes. There was a month-old litter in her house

one of the puppies crawled up to his leg and started pawing his pants. He picked her up, and played with her until he left with his mother that evening. He’s wanted her ever since (although he won’t really admit that openly)

About a month later, he was a proud owner of a smol sable-and-white, blue-eyed Alaskan Malamute

Named her ‘Harper’, even though she’s also called Haru-chan (/ha-ru-pe-ru/, since Harper itself is an English name)

On the way or when she came home, she kept trying to lick his face, as if she was excited he was her new owner

Outside the house, she’ll play pretty vigorously

Once she grew into standard Malamute size, she’s learned she can bowl Futakuchi over. The rest of the team thinks it’s cute

Poor Sakunami is dwarfed by the some-6-foot-tall Harper. he likes it when she flops on him tho, such warmth

speaking of, in the house she likes flopping onto anyone, as in anyone

Sakunami was lying on the couch and he kind of just disappeared under her fluff

^ Aone was looking for him all around the house, the whole team was looking for him around the house until he woke up from under her and his hands popped out, trying to lift the sleeping dog off his small frame

^ which ofc Aone and Kogane had some trouble with bc Harper’s pretty iffy about being moved when she’s comfy

^ Sadly the same thing happens to Futakuchi on the regular, even more so bc he sleeps in his room and she is allowed in his room

^ ofc he knows that dogs aren’t allowed on the bed or to sleep with you but she’s just. so. stubborn

But he has so much fun with her, the team really thinks it’s cute

^ if he wasn’t so invested in the dog he probably would have a gf at that point

Sometimes they go out in the park and share mochi

And he lets her play free bc the kids want to play fetch with her

But at the same time can’t ??? because she runs off c:

Once they were walking and they come across Daichi and Captain

This sweetheart literally just waltzes up to Captain and boops his snoot with hers ❤

To which Futakuchi has absolutely no idea what to do bc she’s never really looked at the ‘how to raise a female dog’ part of the books before

She and Captain sometimes spend afternoons together on the rare occasion that they meet c:

^to Futakuchi’s dismay, since she usually pays attention to him, and now she’s got goo goo eyes on Captain

Ushijima

I don’t really see Ushiwaka having a pet, since he’ll probably think it’ll take up his time

But how about an hc where he keeps a freaking hedgehog

African Pygmy Hedgehog, Quill

^ some idiot tried to give it as a gift (not Tendou, he’s too smart for that) and Ushiwaka just kind of took it in.

^ the note mentioned just how spiky he was, and took it to a literal level.

^ he didn’t have the heart to ‘dispose’ of the tiny ball of spines, so he decided to keep it.

^ his mother was pretty much against it though, but he managed.

The smol stays in a large for-rabbits cage, with furniture of assorted sizes

After the initial introductory period (which includes desensitizing of new owner and environment, plus anting) Quill’s pretty chill

He likes snuggling in Ushiwaka’s huge sweaters, and practically disappears

You know the Hangry to Happy Hedgie vids? Feed this smol some cheese bits while he’s curled up

Sometimes Ushiwaka leaves Quill out of his cage for a while, until the Grand Ace forgets

^ and subsequently finds droppings over his hardwood floor

^ and also subsequently wonders where the heck the smol went

When the team comes over, they don’t really check on Quill simply because it’s Quill. He doesn’t really care

He cares for the treats they give tho

And the snuggles they let him have when Tendou brings him out

Speaking of, Tendou once wanted to pet Quill, but was afraid he’d get spiked

Ushiwaka showed him how, and every time he visits he’s usually got his hands on Quill

^unfortunately the one time Tendou made that stupid pun of ‘spiking’ Quill made Ushiwaka kind of worried that Tendou would actually spike the smol

^ so now Tendou must always handle Qull under Grand Ace Supervision™

Quill also likes cherries (without the skin), but it stains his lips, cheeks, chest, and paws (which leads to Ushiwaka trying to bathe Quill [which Ushiwaka really doesn’t look forward to])

But leave the smol in a bath and he’ll swim for hours

^ which is ofc dangerous but Ushiwaka also has a heart, so he spoils this one sometimes

Bokuto

First of all, HOOT HOOT

Second of all, I’ve read up on the thing about keeping owls, and although it’s a good enough idea for our resident Hoot Captain, it’s not realistic enough

So how about another dog instead?

Labrador Retriever, Choko

Anybody know what a name we could give this one

The Labrador Retriever’s intelligent, playful, family-oriented, supportive

I wanted Bokuto to have one that’s extra playful, but most of them were either small or medium in size. I really didn’t ship something like that for Bokuto

I was thinking of an Australian Shepherd, a Shikoku, Siberian Husky, Dalmatian

^ and subsequently thought, why not four dogs??

^ then I thought of Akaashi and kind of received a fictional bop on the head heheheh

SO

Bokuto went out witih Kuroo to the local groomer/clinic with Sushi, and saw quite a few puppies waiting for their grooming and wandering around playing with other puppies and dogs

And most dogs were small/medium in size

So when a grown-ass black Lab sat in line, he was just so ‘wowed’ out

Like

“Kuroo!! It’s so BIG”

“…isn’t that what girls say when they see your thing??”

“Bro”

“Bro”

But the black Lab was so big and sweet and so very nice

The owner even let him pat her head!!!

And he decided he wanted one :)

ofc Kuroo would let his friend know what it takes to take care of a dog and whatnot, and ofc Bokuto won’t listen to this

So they check the ad boards next to the door for any Lab breeders

and Bokuto’s like, “Why not get from the pet store?”

and Kuroo lists down the hell why nobody should get dogs or cats any pet from the pet store

(says the author who got a betta from the pet store)

aaand Bokuto vows to vanquish pet stores

somehow

aaand Kuroo distracts Bo with a breeder close by

“Oh look it’s a station away”

“WHERE”

and somehow Bo procures a female chocolate brown Labrador Retriever

“KUROO LOOK LOOK”

“AKAASHI LOOK LOOK”

Choko loooooves to play! She literally always brings her tennis ball over

Bokuto can’t stody because of this

But when he does she lies down under his desk as a foot warmer

And she gets rubs too c:

aaaand because Labs love to swim :>

sometimes he brings her to the beach and plays fetch into the water

and all the girls love a man with a dog right??? wrong

he’s just so loud that’s all and it’s such a turn off

also he just freezes but that’s not the point

this baby girl is just sooooo loveable that she’s always getting kisses

and always giving kisses!!!

SO the captains meet up out of nowhere with their pets and guess who she tries glomping first :>

yeahh Captain’s a ladies’ man

so much that Daichi’s pretty irritated about that

BUT get this

the first time they meet is that she’s just so happy to see another dog almost her size that she just runs over and glomps Captain in a head-on collision course

He’s terrified of her after that

But slowly they become good friends

She and Sushi are best friends!!

Sushi has unlimited energy and paired with the big Lab Choko they’re free to roughhouse however they want

so feel free to ship the smol with the big, that’s fine

When they’re all tired, it’s a big pile of multicolored multi-textured fluff that Captain stands lies guard over

Choko likes giving kisses the most, likes getting pet the most, likes playing ball the most

Chewing? She chews on hands and fingers and it doesn’t really hurt bc Labs have soft mouth

^you literally could give her an egg and the shell won’t break

Bokuto finds that weird since Sushi can bite real hard

But finds it adorable nonetheless

okay imma post this first because it’s two weeks overdue but i’ll try to update it for the other captains!!! im so sorry anon i hope you like the length of it though i got so invested in this even though it was midterms week hahahah

[mnranger5]

East Coast Road Trip, Cape May to Atlantic City to Washington DC, 11/10/18 - 11/13/18

It is becoming increasingly obvious Dyan and I do live by the Vacation for Relaxation mantra.  Nope, we apparently fell the need to jam pack as much into a trip as we possibly can.  On vacay, wake up earlier and go to bed later than most days at home.  And every waking minute of our trip is spent doing something other than sitting around and relaxing.  Some call it crazy.  We call it getting our money’s worth!

This East coast trip has been long in the making.  Dyan travels out to the Baltimore/DC area at least 10 times per year, so it has become almost a home away from home for her.  She’s seen the sights and knows where to go and what to do.  I on the other hand have never been to the DC area, but always wanted to go.  So it made sense to parlay a long weekend trip to DC with a work trip Dyan already had scheduled.  Once we had the dates, all we needed to do was figure out what we wanted to do.  We would have 3 ½ days in DC.  Hopefully we could get to the Museum of Natural History, the Air and Space Museum, the Holocaust Museum, the Museum of American History, the White House, the US Capitol, the Supreme Court, Arlington Cemetery, the Pentagon, the Lincoln Memorial, the WWII Memorial, the Jefferson Memorial and  the Washington Monument  in that short amount of time….  And then plans changed.  We decided to throw an 800 mile road trip into the agenda visiting Cape May, NJ as well as Atlantic City, NJ.  Now we’d have 1 ½ days to do all the things we wanted to do in Washington DC.  No worries.  It’s Jake and Dyan.  We make it happen!

11/10/18

Our flight out of Minny departed at 10:15.  What was scheduled as a 2 ½ hour flight got in early at just under 2 hours!  A bit choppy, but I will trade some bumps for 30 minutes.  We quickly made our way over to the rental car center.  The rental car situation is always a stresser for me.  I love having fun cars on vacation, but sometimes the fun car I rent is not the car I receive.  Anyway, for this trip, I found a great deal on a “standard V6” sports car, which was advertised as the base Mustang or Charger.  Check-in was a breeze.  We made out way to the rental lot and handed the attendant our paperwork.  He looked it over and mentioned “standard”.  We took a walk through the lot and he pointed at a row of Nissan Altimas and Chevrolet Cruzes.  I was like, “No, we should get a sports car, right?”  He grabbed my paperwork out of my hand and glared at it while grumbling something under his breath.  “My mistake,” he said.  We turned around and right behind us were two beautifully fast sports cars.  A base model, charcoal, Dodge Charger, and a candy apple red Chevrolet Camaro 2SS.  He looked at us and said we could pick.  Umm, base model V6 Challenger vs Supercharged 6.2L V8 Camaro 2SS.  

We quickly loaded our bags into the Camaro before the attendant realized he gave us the premium sports car instead of the standard sports car.  And with one little touch press of the supercharged foot pedal, we were burning rubber out of the lot and on our way to visit Dyan’s Grandma in Cape May, NJ!

Fourty-one seconds later we entered the highway and came to a screeching halt.  The traffic put a wet blanket on our fast little racecar.  We slowly navigated the lunch-hour traffic as we made our way northwest toward Baltimore.  For nearly 90 minutes, traffic was at a turtle’s crawl.  Once we got through the Baltimore Harbor Tunnel, traffic finally cleared up.  But a new problem was brewing…

Clipping along at a supercharged pace, the Camaro had a warning light come on in it.  With only 900 miles on this road beast, a warning light was not a good sign.  We figured out quickly, we were losing tire pressure in our left rear tire.  It was sitting at 20psi while all the other tires were 35-37psi. I pulled into the Gulf gas station off of Buck Road in Clayton.  The tire felt rock hard and looked just as full as the others.  There didn’t appear to be any visible malfunctions with the tire and I didn’t see anything puncturing it eiter.  We filled the tire up for a couple of seconds, to 27psi.  I was worried the tire pressure sensor was erroring out and that I was putting way too much air into the tire.  I wasn’t exactly in the mood to have this tire blow out in my face.  I reluctantly filled it up to 30psi, keeping my back to the tire – just in case it did explode.  In 5 minutes, were southbound on the highway again.  In another 5 minutes, the tire pressure warning came back on.  Dyan called the rental company Alamo.  Pressure was down to 25.  As Dyan explained the situation to Alamo, we dropped to 22.  Alamo wanted us to find a Walmart auto center because the did 24 hour work on tires.  19.  After Dyan hung up, we found out there was a Walmart 5 miles behind us.  17.  We turned around.  Hope we’d make it.  16.  

We drove back into the Walmart in Vineland only to find this location did not have an auto center.  14.  Dear Lord.  Dyan found a tire store a mile away in the middle of town.  Thank you Jesus.  13.  When we pulled into Mr. Tire, we were at 12psi.  It was now 5:00, and the store closed at 7:00.

I approached the counter and there was a nice woman, Mary, who asked what I needed.  I told her about our situation.  Out of towners. Rental car. Tire pressure like an untied balloon.  She said she was quite busy, and wasn’t sure when or if they could get to it today.  I told her we would wait patiently.  It only took the mechanic 15 minutes to retrieve the car from the lot and take it to the garage.  But then the real waiting began.

After about an hour, Mary, emerged from the garage holding a screw over 6” long.  It had been lodged in the tire.  No bueno!

Mary wan’t sure if it could be fixed.  The hole was so big, they thought it needed to be plugged.  This store didn't do plugs, they only patched.  Mary told us to wait a bit longer and they would patch it up and test whether it would hold.  Fingers crossed,

Around 6:30, the mechanic pulled the car our to the garage and Mary emerged from the office and told us the patch was working, for now.  She told us to keep an eye on the pressure  and enjoy the rest of the trip.  She wouldn’t allow us to pay!  We pleaded with her telling her the rental car company would reimburse us, but she wouldn’t take a dime.  “Enjoy the rest of your trip” she continued to repeat.  Wow, what a great little Ttre shop.

The remainder of our drive into Cape May was uneventful and we rolled into Marilyn & Sam’s beautiful beach house around 7:30.  After a quick tour of their lovely home (Sam built), they treated us to an insanely delicious homemade lasagna, meatballs, Italian sausage and gravy!  Sam is Mr. Italian, and he said the proper term for meat sauce is gravy.  Well okay then!  Pile up some gravy for me!

After a couple beers and glasses of wine, Dyan and I were pooped and headed to bed around 11.

11/11/18

With the sun shining bright the following morning, we had the chance to see the beautiful ocean view Sam and Marilyn wake up to each morning.  The beach is literally out their front door.  It is glorious.

Not gonna lie, the camaro went nicely with the front door.

We spent the morning devouring a wonderful breakfast prepared by Sam and Marilyn and then visiting with some of their neighbors.  Sam also drove us around to show us many of the beach homes he had built in the area.  His craftsmanship and attention to detail is commendable.  Each home she showed us was more beautiful than the last.  At 11AM, we packed up and hit the rod to our next destination - ATLANTIC CITY, NJ!

Atlantic City is about an hour from Cape May, due north on the NJ coast.  You can definitely see the mega hotels for miles prior to actually arriving.  To my surprise, the casinos were much more spread out than I had imagined.  We had reservations at The Hard Rock Hotel, the former Trump Taj Mahal.  Hard Rock spent $500 million renovating over the past year and opened earlier this summer.  It is the newest hotel on the boardwalk.

We checked in at noon to our beautiful room perched up up over the Atlantic Ocean.  My only complaint was the dirty window.

Around 1PM, we decided to hit the gaming floor!  We signed up for the Hard Rock rewards card and both got the chance to spin the “New Membership Prize Wheel.”  Dyan’s spin earned her $20 in free slot play.  I earned free show tickets.  On Dyan’s first machine (Willy Wonka), she used her free slot play and hit a bonus that paid her a cool $60.  For the rest of the day, we played off of that winning in numerous casinos.  

We took a stroll down the boardwalk hitting up Cesar’s Palace, Bally’s and Bally’s Wild West.  

Of all the casinos, our favorites were Hard Rock and Bally’s Wild West.  At the end of the day, we had played had gambled for about 6 hours and broken even!

Since we didn’t have any plans that night, we decided to use the free show tickets I had won.  The show was called Motor City Live: A Motown Tribute.  After getting our free tickets at the box office, we were pleasantly surprised our seats were in the fourth row of the sold out theater.  THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT!. Dyan and I could not believe how good the show was.  it was incredibly entertaining.

The show was like a walk down memory lane.  Like being in the car on a long trip with dad and all we listened to were Motown oldies.  They had Temptations, Aretha Franklin, Diana Ross, The Supremes, The Four Tops, Marvin Gaye, Stevie Wonder and the Jackson 5.  I sang along to every song except for one.  Thanks Dad for burning those songs into my head as a child so I can enjoy them now.

What made the show so enjoyable is that it had a modern twist.  It wasn’t older washed up singer doing the covers.  It was an attractive younger crowd singing and dancing, with strong vocals and an amazing bad backing them up.  The show was phenomenal, and I still can’t believe it was free.  The people next to us paid $50/seat!  What a steal!

11/12/18

The wake up call came in early.  Three-thirty-AM-early.  Although today was another adventure, it was also a race against time.  Dyan had to work in Washington DC at 11AM.  We made quick work of the morning routine and were on the road by 4AM.  This gave us 7 hours to make the 192 mile journey to our hotel in Washington, DC.  Seems like plenty of time until you factor in rush hour traffic on a journey that took us through three of the largest cities on the east coast: Philadelphia, Baltimore and Washington DC.  Thankfully, the traffic was never all that bad.  We hit Philly at 5AM which was early enough to miss the congestion.  Baltimore had it’s share of slowdowns, but wasn’t nearly as bad as what we had expected.  And Washington DC was a breeze!  With it being Veteran’s Day, the government was closed, so traffic was super light coming into town.  We rolled into the hotel around 8AM.

The Residence Inn, Capitol Hill, allowed us to check in very early which was nice.  We had a place to park the Camaro and a complimentary breakfast.  We then walked over to the Georgetown Law School (Dyan’s client), passing directly in front of the US Capitol.  

We camped out as a Starbucks for a couple of hours until Dyan’s work engagement.  I hung out in the Georgetown Law School with all the law school students.  For a fleeting moment, I felt like a law student as I eavesdropped on the fascinating legal conversations going on around me.  At 1:00, I rendezvoused with Dyan and we began an afternoon of intense/speed sightseeing. 

But first, our hunger needed satisfying.  Parked just outside of the Museum of Natural History, was a row of colorful food trucks, but all seemed to be specializing in the same thing.  Philly Cheese-steaks.  We approached the Phillies Phamous Steaks food truck, and ordered a cheese-steak and fries. 

It took about 10 minutes to prepare, but it blew both of our socks off.  It was SO good.  The hoagie was so fresh and meat incredibly flavorful.  Winner.

The Museum of Natural History was awesome.  

Animals everywhere.  

They had every animal you could think of on display.  

Even a narwhal!

They also had some cool exhibit on great white shark.  Who knew their mouth was that big?

And of course there was a scaryT-Rex!

Our next stop was the Museum of American History.  Most notably, this museum houses Dorothy’s ruby red slippers from The Wizard of Oz.

There are also some very cool exhibits highlighting the US Military and the wars we have fought in.  Like Vietnam...

and the dropping of atomic bombs on Japan.

The third museum of the day was the Holocaust Memorial Museum.  This museum is unlike any of the other museums.  There was no people talking.  No kids yelling and screaming.  No tv’s blasting in the exhibits.  Nope, you could hear a pin drop in this museum.  All the exhibits have signs for reading silently.  The mood was incredibly somber.  It’s almost like going to a funeral.  Tears were being shed by some.  Others shaking their heads in disbelief.  The museum is basically a start to finish series of events to led up to the Holocaust.  One of the most powerful displays was a giant model of an gas/execution chamber.  But the most moving display was the thousands of prisoner shoes piled in a room.  The smell was almost nauseating, like smoldering rubber.  Men’s shoes, children’s shoes and women’s heels are heaped into the pile.  These are the precise shoes the prisoners wore on the trains.  These are the shoes toddlers wore as they were carried by their mothers to a safer place.  These are the shoes that would end up being removed from each and every one of them just before their execution. 

After that Holocaust Museum, we were physically and emotionally exhausted.  Not to mention, famished from all the walking.  Off a tip from one of my co-workers, we took a taxi to Gerogia Brown’s, an upscale southern cooking kitchen.  The fried chicken was as good as I had hoped!

After dinner we took a quick walk over to The White House in the pouring down rain.  

Neither of us had rain coats or an umbrella, so we ended up pretty squishy shoes and waterlogged jackets.  We opted for a taxi to get back to the hotel which was an adventure all on it’s own.  The driver could not figure out his fogged up windshield and kept having to stick his head out of the side window just to see what was ahead of him.  This picture was snapped $5 into our fare.  Yikes!

11/13/18

Do you think we slept in?  Nope!  Our flight home was at 5PM, and we had a lot to still see and do.  Therefore, we were out of the hotel around 7AM heading over to the US Capitol.  This time, from the other side.

The museums didn’t open until 9AM, so we wanted to get in some of our site-seeing in ahead of time.  After the Capitol, we made our way to the US Supreme Court.  

While taking a picture in front of the courthouse, a police officer approached us.  He informed us that Supreme Court was meeting today in a non-argumentative session.  He said it would be quick, but it would give us the chance to see the supreme court justices.  This was completely unexpected!  SWEET!

We made our way into the courthouse.  Dyan and I were guests 34 & 35.  After waiting in line for about 30 minutes, the Secret Service escorted us upstairs to the supreme court lobby area.  We had to empty EVERYTHING into lockers.  No phones, purses, hats or coats.  Everything must be left at the locker.  After going through a security screening, we were ushered into the Supreme Court Chamber.  The room is magnificent.  Stately white columns surround the room, starkly contrasted by flaming red curtains which serve as their backdrop.  Old wooden benches line the room.  More police and secret service watching every move.  Nine leather chairs, for the nice justices, sit perched up above the courtroom.  It is a sight to see.  While talking is not expressly forbidden, you get the sense it’s like talking during the sermon a mass.  At precisely 9AM, the gavel was struck and instantaneously the justices appeared from behind the red curtains and took their seats.  It was shock and awe!  I had no idea what to expect, but I certainly thought their entrance would be much more elaborate.  Nope, in a matter of .5 seconds, I had Justice Kavanaugh sitting directly ahead of me!  Chief Justice John Roberts  sat in the middle flanked by Clarence Thomas and Justice Alito.  Also present were Justices Sotomayor, Kagan and Gorsuch.  Missing were Justices Breyer and Ruth Bader Ginsberg, who was recover in the hospital from broken ribs.  The only justice who spoke was John Roberts.  Today’s hearing was for the sole purpose of swearing in new attorney’s to the DC Bar.  Within 10 minutes, all of the attorneys had been sworn in.  And as quick as the Justices had entered the chamber, all the Justices disappeared behind the red curtain when the gavel was slapped again.  It was such a cool experience!

Our next stop of the day was the National Air and Space Museum, which was a highlight for me.  The mix of old a new planes was right up my alley.  

My favorite was this Northrop Alpha TWA mail and cargo transport which topped out at 177mph.  Built in 1930, this plane made coast to coast flights which would take about 23 hours.  Other than carry mail, this plane also transported freshly cut gardenias, silk worms, medical serums and auto parts.  The plane was retired from the fleet just 4 years later in 1934.  Very cool reading about the history of these old planes.

There was also a really cool NASA exhibit that had a virtual reality experience where you could look at your own street using the satellite control imagery.  

My only disappointment was that there wan’t a more robust exhibit on the space shuttle crashes.  The crashes had very small displays with not much info.

After Air and Space, we took a chilly walk over to The White House and had lunch nearby.  

With full tummies, we embarked on a national monument and memorial walking tour.  First was the Washington Monument, which was being renovated so we could not get up close or go to the top.  

The WWII National Memorial was next.  Being that it was the day after Veteran’s Day, there were dozens of wreaths setup all over the memorial.  Very moving.  But by this point, all the walking was taking a toll on our feet. 

Next was the Lincoln Memorial.  

With our feet still feeling the burn, we decided to rent a couple of scooters.  Now, anybody who has seen our garage knows that scooters are a BIG DEAL at our house.  The kids LOVE them.  Me?  Not so much. We have five that always seem to find strategic places on the garage floor which catch me by surprise.  I have threatened to toss them in the garbage on more days than I can count.  But here we found ourselves in the middle of DC, and we were going to rent scooters.  How ironic.

The cool thing about these motorized scooters is that they are everywhere across DC.  When you find one vacant, you activate it with your phone.  The app in your phone connects with your credit card and within seconds, you are whizzing around the sites at 15mph.  The difficult time was finding two open scooters near each other we could both rent.  Luckily, the app tells you exactly where open scooters are.  While at the Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial, the app pinged two open scooters a short ways away at the FDR Memorial.  The race was on.  We virtually broke out into a run to get to the scooters before anybody else.  And as we approached the vacant scooters, we were stoked.  There isn’t an orientation for how these scooters work, nor any training wheels.  As you step on the scooter for the first time, the first 5 seconds are actually pretty terrifying.  The wobbling from trying to catch your balance coupled with the embarrassment of people around watching you is enough to probably make some people hop off and continue their journey by foot.  But, after that initial shock and finding your balance, these road beasts are a piece of cake.  Dyan and I cruised around the Tidal Basin to the Thomas Jefferson Memorial.  This was the final memorial!

We hopped back on the scooters and buzzed them a couple of miles back to the hotel.  For the 6 miles total we road the scooters, the cost was $7.  The entertainment value of seeing Dyan hit bumps in the pavement, priceless.

We checked out of the hotel and headed over the Arlington National Cemetery, which I can confirm, does not allow scooters to buzz through the historic grave site.  

For us, the highlights were the resting places of the Kennedy’s, The Tomb of the Unknown Soldier and the deceased of the space shuttle disasters.

Our final stop on the trip was the Pentagon, which was very underwhelming.  First off, the 9/11 Memorial is very difficult to find.  We had to drive around the Pentagon twice in order to find it.  In addition, there is no public parking.  So Dyan and I parked in Military Reserved Parking and hoped we would not have a problem with GI-Joe.  The memorial is a series of park benches.  There wasn’t much of anything to read nor did it seem the Pentagon was catering to visitors.  It would have been very easy to have overlooked the park benches as the memorial. A bit disappointing, although, not enough to leave even a blemish on this amazing trip.

We headed back over to Ronald Reagan National Airport and settled in for the 3 hour flight home.

[fallleaves4life-blog]

First Half-Honesty

<part 1> <part 2> <part 3> <part 4> <part 5> <part 6> <part 7> <part 8> <part 9> <part 10> <part 11> <part 12> <part 13> <part 14> <part 15>

Yoongi woke up on Christmas Day to a warm embrace and breath on his neck. Hoseok had fallen asleep spooning Yoongi, and they were both still in pretty much the same position. The other's head was just behind his shoulder, so his warm breathing hit his skin head on. The arms around his waist were burning hot into his tank, but despite all that, Yoongi was comfortable.

He tried to stretch a little in the hold, but then Hoseok shifted and pulled him closer. He felt the other's head burrow in the crook of his neck, and he giggled quietly. "I know you're awake, Jung. Don't try and pretend."

There was some movement behind him as a chuckle sounded in his ear, and the arms around him pulled him closer. "Damn, I thought I could get away with pretending for a few more minutes."

Yoongi giggled and turned his head sideways to get a peek at the other. "How long have you been awake?"

Hoseok moved into view, a tired smile on his face. "Just a few minutes. Too comfortable to move, and you were too beautiful to wake up." Hoseok left a soft kiss on the other's lips as an end to his statement, and Yoongi blushed.

He moved to snuggle deeper into the other's warm body, but Hoseok's hands moved on their own. They went to the hem of his shirt and slipped under the fabric, splaying across his abdomen. He giggled a little. "Is this a subtle way of asking for something, Jung?"

He felt a nod. "Asking to touch you, yes."

Yoongi giggled again. "But you're already touching me! Like, everywhere!"

Hoseok laughed, the sleep in his voice bringing it down an octave. "Merry Christmas, Yoongi."

Yoongi smiled softly and twisted in the arms, turning around to face the other. "Merry Christmas, Jung." He leaned up slightly and accepted the soft kiss from Hoseok. When he pulled away, he pushed Hoseok's chest playfully. "Okay, Mr. Chef, go make the best Christmas pancakes in the world."

Hoseok laughed as he sat up, looking at Yoongi who remained on the bed. "Is that your way of kicking me out?"

Yoongi nodded and pulled the silk sheets around him. "It's my way of getting food."

"I'll bring them in when they're done. We can watch corny Christmas movies if you want." As he stood and walked from the room, Hoseok smiled at his lover and patted his thigh.

The elder waited until he was gone to let out the squeal he'd been holding in. God, Hoseok was so good to him. He was sweet and understanding and handsome and sexy and wonderful... Yoongi buried his head into the pillow and hugged himself. This was the first time in literal years he'd allowed himself to feel these feelings for another person, and it was beautiful. For a split second, he didn't care whether he'd get found out or not; as long as he was able to continue feeling this.

But he did care, and it wasn't going to happen.

He sat up on the bed and rubbed his eyes, the crusty bits falling off as per usual. He looked over to Hoseok's side of the bed and crawled over, looking at the nightstand. There was a photo frame flipped down, and he lifted it up. There was a man sitting in Hoseok's office. He didn't smile at the camera.

Yoongi squinted at the man. His face was similar to Hoseok's, but he looked like he hadn't smiled in years. The man must be his father, but he looked so different, so cold. He shivered and put the picture back on the nightstand. He opened the drawer and rummaged inside. Average stuff: condoms, lube, a tie Yoongi hadn't seen in a while, but there was an old book there. He picked it up gingerly and flipped through the pages. The book bind was bent in one place, a folded sticky note as a bookmark. He read a few words and giggled. It was dirty, but he supposed he expected it from the other, so he put the book back.

He lifted the tie and froze. There were some pill bottles at the bottom of the drawer, hidden. He picked up one and checked the prescription. He couldn't tell what the pills were for, but he was slightly worried. He put the bottle back, suddenly not feeling very curious.

Yoongi rolled over to the middle of the bed, the warm spots where he and Hoseok had lain the night before now cold. He turned the tv on and took his phone into his hand. Ten o'clock. He looked through his texts and smiled at the Christmas messages. He responded to each with a heart and a "Merry Christmas" and tossed his phone away.

Now he was bored. He groaned and stood from the bed, not fixing his crumpled shirt or shorts, and walked through the house to the kitchen. It was funny, the house that scared him so much at first was now a second home.

He peeked out the end of the hallway and saw Hoseok standing over the stove top, most likely making the pancakes. There were ingredients covering the countertops, flour, sugar, milk, and eggs, a bowl next to the stove with a ladle inside. How did he look so focused from the back?

Yoongi's padded into the kitchen, looking over Hoseok's shoulder. "What's cookin, good lookin?"

The other snorted and looked over at him. "Really? That's so terrible."

He giggled and rested his head on the other's shoulder blade. "Do you need any help? I'm a good cook, y'know."

"So that one time you almost burned down my kitchen making microwave popcorn was an outlier?" Hoseok's eyes twinkled playfully as he flipped another pancake in the pan.

"Totally. I didn't know how to use your microwave then. It's fancy!"

There was a snort. "You want to help?" He nodded into the other's back. "You can get the fruit ready if you want." He let go of the other and started cutting up the fruit into fun shapes. Hoseok had Christmas music playing on a speaker somewhere, and they both sang along terribly. Yoongi's was a pretty terrible singer most of the time, and Hoseok was better but only by a little. Right now, in the comfortable space they shared, they didn't really care about sounding all that good.

Hoseok's finished the pancakes and set the table with food: bowls of fruit, butter, jam, and plates of pancakes, toast, and eggs. Yoongi raised an eyebrow at the many plates. "Hoseok, why is there so much food? And so many plates?"

"I didn't tell you?" He shook his head, and the other sighed. "Damn. Well... I usually have brunch on Christmas with Minghao and Jonghyun. Your friends will be coming too." Yoongi blinked, and silence fell between them. "It's no big deal really. I thought I told you about it."

Yoongi shook his head, picking at his wrist. "No, it's okay. Do we have to change?" He looked down at his disheveled pajamas then up to Hoseok's bare chest and low hanging sweats.

The other shook his head though. "It's casual, no business involved. Just family."

Family? The word had Yoongi's heart beating faster. He smiled shyly and poked Hoseok's chest. "Yeah, but you're half naked. Put on, like, a tank top of something."

Hoseok laughed. "Yeah, only if it's yours."

Yoongi raised an eyebrow challengingly and pulled his tank top off. "Fine, go ahead." The other looked at him, speechless. "I'll just go take one of your shirts." He giggled and skipped away, leaving Hoseok with his mouth agape, holding a crumpled up gray tank top.

A few minutes later, Yoongi was wearing a big T-shirt he found in the other's closet. It was some band shirt, or maybe a dance group, but it was old and faded. He didn't mind though, it was still warm, but not constricting, and it smelled like Hoseok. As stupid and corny as it sounded.

Jonghyun and Minki arrived just a few minutes later, Yoongi and the artist hugging as Hello, and the other two giving a bro-hug. Minghao and Jun came just a minute or so after that, and they were greeted the same way. They all sat at the roundtable, the businessmen on one half and the lovers opposite their partner. Yoongi helped Hoseok prepare mimosas for everyone; even if the boy could cook, Yoongi had way more experience with drinks.

Once they were all comfortable, the businessmen became engrossed in the company gossip, apparently. Jun turned to Yoongi with a smirk in his eye. "Okay, Gi, since when were you this close with Hoseok?"

Yoongi sipped his mimosa and looked between the two. "What do you mean?" He may be a good actor, but he has never been better than a half-decent liar.

"Please, Gi. You look so lovesick." Minki rolled his eyes and ate a piece of his eggs. "If I didn't know you, I'd say you were dating."

When Yoongi hesitated, the other's gasped. "Oh shit!" The lovers looked over, but they smiled in apology and turned back to their pouting/glaring Hyung. Jun was the first to speak, a smile lighting his face. "Yoongi, spill it. We need to know!"

He had whisper yelled the last bit, and it made Yoongi relax. If he was going to tell anyone, it would be these two. "We're not dating dating... you know we're not allowed to date clients.. but I asked him two days ago if he could be, like, a special, long-term client.."

Hoseok looked over at him through the corner of his eye, and Yoongi returned a soft smile. It satisfied the other because he felt something nudge his foot under the table just as the other looked away. His friends saw the subtle exchange though and squealed.

He laughed at the two of them. "Guys It's really no big deal. I've been seeing him almost every day for the past two months-"

"Uh, it is a big deal!" Minki finished his plate of food and was grabbing seconds. He was eating mostly fruit though, and Jun was eating a lot of toast and eggs. It seemed Hoseok had done this a lot. "Your whole thing is you love being an escort and would never jeopardize it. You've been sleeping with hundreds, if not thousands, of people for the past four, now almost five, years. You haven't had a relationship in that all that time because it would get in the way of your career, and now all of a sudden-"

"You're head over heels for someone you've known for two months and risking everything for them!"

Yoongi flushed and play shoved Minki. "I'm not head over heels! And I'm not risking everything, promise!" The two of them raised an eyebrow, looking at him in question, and his face turned red from his blush. "I swear, it's nothing like what you're thinking.."

Jun smiled brightly at him and pointed at him with his fork. "Yeah, so what have you been doing while spending the past two nights here?"

When he hesitated, Jun nodded. "Exactly. Besides, Gi, you don't think I can tell when someone's in love?"

"That's one thing I know for sure, I'm not in love."

Minki looked over at him. "Gi, he looks at you the same way Jonghyun looks at me."

Goosebumps rose on his arms and he rubbed them to distract himself. He looked over at Hoseok from across the table just as the other was laughing at some joke, and a smile rose on his face before he could stop it. "I can't be in love. It's not allowed."

Minki's eyes widened a little. He leaned forward to get a better angle on the other's face. "Yoongi, are you not allowing yourself to love him, because it's not allowed?"

Yoongi shook his head and played with the remaining half pancake on his plate, his hunger gone. "I'm not in love. Hoseok's just different, really." He felt like the words burned his tongue, but he couldn't understand why that would be. They weren't lies.

Maybe they weren't the whole truth.

Jun hummed as he finished his plate. "Well, even if you aren't in love, Hoseok is."

"Why would he be in love with me?"

Minki sighed and looked over at Jonghyun, smiling as he watched him converse with Minghao. "Love is weird, Gi. It sneaks up on you when you never think it will. And by the time you realize what's going on, you can't go back." He turned to the elder and smiled softly. "But the thing about love is.. you never want to go back to when it wasn't there."

[robertkstone]

2018 Jeep Wrangler First Drive Review: Because It’s There

TWENTY-FOUR DEGREES, INCLINED

We find ourselves on New Zealand’s South Island, perched on a soggy, precipitous mountainside east of Lake Hawea—following a long morning crawl down the ridge of Mount Prospect and crossing the Lindis River more times than I could remember.

While my off-road spotters discuss the merits of trying to creep forward versus backing down the narrow path cut in the hillside, I steal a glance at the Pitch and Roll feature displayed between the gauges of the new Jeep Wrangler. It was at least as informative as the view out the windshield—which by that point was mostly sky and mountaintops, with the occasional sight of a spotter’s head poking up over the hood. For reference, the steepest paved road in the world is 20 degrees.

Not that there was anyone to talk to. My driving partner had hopped out several minutes earlier, after watching the Jeep ahead struggle with the same obstacle. We resolved to make it without the support Jeep’s saving winch, but it was a precarious position. I needed to make a left turn up this 24-degree slope, with a steeper uphill slope to my immediate left and an equally sheer drop to my immediate right. For good measure, the light rain falling for the past hour had turned the hillside into a muddy mess. I didn’t begrudge my co-driver his choice to bail; I encouraged it.

We’re here because an all-new Jeep Wrangler is a rare thing to behold, one that arrives once in a decade at most. It is the rugged flag-bearer of the Jeep brand, the ur-SUV, and the most symbolically important vehicle Fiat Chrysler makes, which can only be properly showcased in the most extreme environments. It’s also an anachronism, a holdover from a bygone era of vehicle making that, had it never existed previous, would never be approved by a responsible corporate board today. It also is the one vehicle in the world that could properly surmount this ridiculous obstacle, and the Jeep folks wanted to prove it.

The Jeep Wrangler makes every bit of sense and none at all, and it must be accepted by a wildly devoted fan base that will tolerate no weakness. Fortunately for everyone involved, it doesn’t have many faults. In fact, it has so few we might as well just get them out of the way. First, the clutch take-up on the six-speed manual transmission is so vague even our officemates at JP and 4-Wheel and Off-Road were stalling. Second, the V-6 still feels a bit gutless at low rpm on pavement despite improvements. That about covers it.

Back on that hillside, I was driving a two-door Rubicon with the standard 3.6-liter V-6 and optional eight-speed automatic. It makes the same 285 hp and 260 lb-ft as before but gets better fuel economy and low-end torque. At crawling speeds and with four-wheel-drive gearing advantages, torque wasn’t an issue. Two days later, driving back into town in a heavier four-door Rubicon Unlimited with the same engine but standard six-speed manual, the lack of grunt was more apparent.

The enormous improvement in ride quality was also more apparent on the road. Don’t worry. It still drives like a truck, just one from this century. Moving the shocks farther outboard and raising the roll center have seriously reduced the head toss and impact harshness in everyday driving. Getting to the trail has never been so pleasant.

Although you’ll spend far more time on the road than the trail, we know you don’t care about that part, so let’s dive back into the mud. After lunch on the trail, it was a higher-speed two-track out to camp with one last river crossing to round things out. As if to drive the point of the new generation’s excellence home, one of the previous-generation Rubicon Unlimited support vehicles beached itself trying to climb out, right after the new ones drove right through.

After a night of unexpectedly heavy snowfall and several collapsed tents, we ran for the shores of Lake Wanaka and out another two-track toward Mount Aspiring National Park. On this day, I’d made a point of claiming the all-new 2.0-liter turbocharged four-cylinder. It makes 268 hp and 295 lb-ft and uses a belt alternator starter system that can take some load off the engine. This is the first four-banger Wrangler in over a decade and an optional upgrade over the V-6, so I had to know if it’s any good. This would be the day to find out. We were headed for a boulder field at the base of Mount Aspiring.

Available only with the eight-speed automatic, the turbo-four felt perfectly at home bumping along the two-track and down a stretch of paved road. The transmission, paired with either engine, continues to be a gem with quick, smooth gearshifts and a smart computer that always seems to know what gear it ought to be in. On-road and off, the engine felt just as powerful as the V-6, and its automatic start/stop system is among the smoothest on the market in any vehicle type. The real test, though, would be crawling.

Our test bed was a boulder-strewn gully 10 feet deep and in places just wider than the Jeeps. I dropped our Rubicon Unlimited into 4Lo, hit the switches to lock the front and rear differentials and disconnect the front anti-roll bar, and tiptoed in. I didn’t air down the tires, though; the Jeep people were so confident in the Wrangler they wouldn’t let us. Within 50 feet, every concern I had about power and turbo lag had been scraped away along with the paint on the factory rock rails. This little bugger crawls just as well as the V-6.

To be sure, I took another run in the other Rubicon Unlimited with the V-6 and the manual. Were it not for the shifting, I could barely tell the difference in power delivery. Between the belt alternator starter and turbocharger, the four-cylinder needed less revving to get the job done.

Speaking of, bouldering with a stock manual transmission has never been easier. Jeep has upped the crawl ratio from 73:1 to 84:1 on the manual (and from 55:1 to 77:1 on the automatic), so it can creep along at a half mile an hour in first gear in 4Lo without stalling. I only ever used the clutch to come to a complete stop while my spotters repositioned for the next obstacle.

The sun and cold wind beating on my face, this was Jeeping at its best: tough trail, manual transmission, roof down (thankfully now a tidy five-step process), and windshield down (now two wipers and four bolts, down from seeming dozens). We’d have taken the lightened doors off, too, if there were a place to put them. The included toolkit makes removing them and the windshield so easy you’re effectively obligated to do so.

The rock sliders thoroughly evaluated, I made one more run in the two-door Rubicon. Granted, the four-door Unlimiteds went everywhere the two-door went, but nothing makes a challenging trail easier than a shorter, lighter rig with a tighter turning radius. Regardless, the new 33-inch BFGoodrich All-Terrain T/A KO2 tires did a remarkable job at street pressure, and the extra inch of ground clearance afforded over the old 32-inch Mud Terrain T/A KMs was welcomed.

Off the rocks and back on the trail in the four-cylinder, we popped out the hard top’s “Freedom Panels,” which are held on by simple latches now instead of 1,000-turn knobs. It made for a better vantage point standing up through the roof as we crisscrossed the noticeably deeper Matukituki River’s West Branch. The 30-inch fording depth is engraved along with other stats on a panel on the inside of the tailgate for handy reference.

The next morning, leaving camp with the worst obstacles behind us, I decided I needed more than a mere trail run with the manual transmission. It’s a new Aisin unit with a shift linkage that has taken out most of the previous model’s slop. Were it not for the funky clutch pedal, I’d have nothing to complain about. The gates are easy to find, and the throws are short enough for a truck.

Read more about the 2018 Jeep Wrangler in our thorough First Look here.

Its crown is a nicely detailed metal and rubber shift knob with exposed bolts that cap off a wonderfully improved interior. The flat dash, round gauges, and front passenger oh-lordy handle are complemented by burly knobs, belt-buckle door handles, and exposed bolts that walk a fine line between historically informed and gaudy retro. Peppered in among them are welcome modern conveniences such as an optional 8.4-inch infotainment system, optional heated seats and steering wheel, optional high-end stereo, standard in-cluster digital display, and standard USB 2.0 and micro USB ports front and rear.

Descending through the Rees Valley and crossing its namesake river a few times (because at this point, why not?), we began the long trudge back down paved roads to the hotel and a hot shower. The improved ride is a welcome respite from three long days bouncing down the trail, as is the new electro-hydraulic steering that’s taken all the vagueness out of the rack. The Jeep is confident and planted on the road in a way Wranglers have never been. The hardcore guys will say the old trucks had more character, but the casual off-road enthusiast won’t mind the trade-off a bit.

The drive back gives time to reflect. If you went to an automaker today and asked them to build a two-door body-on-frame trucklet with a convertible roof and almost no cargo space—riding on live axles (and oh yeah, the windshield needs to fold down and you should be able to take the doors off and hose out the waterproof interior)—you’d be laughed out of the room. This Wrangler, this iconic Jeep, exists because it’s always existed, and this new one is the best one yet. No, Jeep faithful, they didn’t ruin it. They didn’t even make it just as good as the old one. They made it better in every way.

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[robertkstone]

2018 Chevrolet Colorado ZR2 Gas and Diesel First Test Review

Weekend warriors looking for the ultimate city-friendly, go-anywhere off-road workhorse pickup used to have just one choice—the Toyota Tacoma TRD Pro. The new 2018 Chevrolet Colorado ZR2 might just have those shoppers thinking twice about heading over to their local Toyota dealers.

The Chevy Colorado has been our favorite midsize pickup on the market ever since it won back-to-back Truck of the Year titles in 2015 and 2016. For the 2017 model year, Chevy turns the now-proven Colorado formula up a notch with the trail- and desert-ready Colorado ZR2.

Building on the solid bones of the Colorado Z71, the new Colorado ZR2 gets a long list of serious off-road add-ons, but the heart of the new truck is its suspension system. The ZR2 gets Multimatic’s famed Dynamic Suspension Spool Valve (DSSV) dampers, which, when paired with a 2-inch suspension lift and 3.5-inch-wider track, gives the Colorado ZR2 the ability to run at high speeds in the desert, maximizes articulation while rock crawling, and improves ride quality and performance on the street. Chevy didn’t stop with the DSSV dampers, though. It also adds a locking rear differential, a segment-exclusive locking front differential, a beefed up rear axle and front control arms, additional body armor in the form of rock sliders, aluminum skidplates on the radiator, engine oil pan, and transfer case, and aggressive new front and rear bumpers designed to boost approach and departure angles. Rounding out the add-ons are 17-inch wheels shod with 31-inch Goodyear Wrangler Duratrac tires.

Unlike the gas V-6-only Tacoma TRD Pro, there are two powertrains in the Colorado ZR2. A new-for-2017 3.6-liter V-6 and eight-speed automatic combination is standard. The new V-6 has 308 hp and 275 lb-ft of torque and features cylinder deactivation and other fuel-saving tech to help it achieve a class-competitive EPA rating of 16/18/17 mpg city/highway/combined. The optional Duramax 2.8-liter turbodiesel I-4 is good for 191 hp and 369 lb-ft of torque and comes mated to a six-speed auto. It’s down on horsepower compared to the V-6, but it makes up for it in both torque and fuel economy—it’s EPA rated at 19/22/20 mpg. Towing capacity, no matter the engine, is 5,000 pounds, and payload is 1,100 pounds for four-door short-bed trucks such as our two testers or 1,164 pounds for extended-cab long-bed ZR2s.

It’s worth mentioning that its primary competitor, the Tacoma TRD Pro, is powered by a 3.5-liter V-6 making 278 hp and 265 lb-ft of torque, EPA rated at 17/20/18 mpg with a six-speed manual or 18/23/20 mpg with the six-speed automatic. It’s got between 1,155 and 1,175 pounds of payload capacity depending on transmission and a 3,500-pound payload capacity.

At the track, the extra 170 pounds or so of off-road gear slows the Colorado ZR2s down a bit compared to the more street-oriented versions. The gas version is unsurprisingly the better performing of the two, thanks to its horsepower advantage and 223-pound lighter curb weight. The 0–60-mph run takes the V-6 Colorado ZR2 7.1 seconds to complete, and the quarter mile falls in 15.5 seconds at 90.0 mph. We haven’t tested a non-ZR2 Colorado with the V-6 and eight-speed auto, but we have recently tested a nearly identical GMC Canyon Denali 4×4 with the same powertrain. It needed 6.8 seconds to accelerate from 0 to 60 mph and 15.2 seconds to finish the quarter mile at 92.8 mph. Given its off-road-oriented tires, the gas-powered Colorado ZR2 did pretty well in braking and handling tests. It managed to finish the 60–0-mph panic stop in 135 feet, and it completed its lap of the figure eight in 29.1 seconds at 0.58 g average.

The diesel-powered Colorado ZR2 was a bit slower at the track. It needed a poky 9.7 seconds to run from 0 to 60 mph, and it finished the quarter mile in 17.2 seconds at 78.4 mph. Compared to our now-departed 2016 Chevrolet Colorado Z71 Duramax 4×4 long-termer, the extra off-road bits on the ZR2 amount to a half-second dip in 0–60 performance and a 0.4-second and 1.3-mph difference in the quarter mile. Still, the Colorado ZR2 Duramax performed relatively well in brake and handling tests; it needed 132 feet to come to a stop from 60 mph, and it managed a 29.5-second lap of the figure eight, averaging 0.55 g.

Despite the Colorado ZR2 V-6 leaving its Duramax-powered brother in the dust at the test track, out in the real world the diesel Colorado is the better drive. With the diesel powerplant, the Colorado ZR2 is eager to surge forward off the line, and it surfs wave after wave of torque. It feels quicker than its numbers would suggest around town and off-road, though passing power is now only borderline acceptable. A tightly geared eight-speed automatic and an extra 20 horsepower or so would be perfection.

The V-6-powered ZR2 isn’t without its faults, either. As we discovered on our off-road adventure through Northeastern Canada earlier this year, the Colorado ZR2’s V-6 makes good power, but the transmission doesn’t want you use to it. As is sadly the case with many GM truck transmissions, the ZR2’s eight-speed wants to keep engine revs low. Unfortunately, the V-6 doesn’t happen to make much power at low rpm, so the end result is a gearbox that’s frequently changing gears in response to the driver’s throttle inputs.

One thing the two ZR2s have in common is how well they handle on the street and how capable they are off-road. On-road, the DSSV dampers are downright magical. They counterintuitively give the Colorado a firm yet forgiving ride with minimal body roll and little to no impact harshness transferred into the cabin. With both versions of the truck featuring light, accurate steering, the ZR2s are actually surprisingly fun to drive on a good, winding back road—a dedicated Sport mode in both versions of the Colorado ZR2 would only improve the experience.

Off-road, the Colorado ZR2 is damn near unstoppable. The Colorado ZR2 is pretty much the perfect trail leader; it’s sized to fit through narrow obstacles with ease, and it’s got both the off-road hardware and the body armor to get itself out of trouble and protect itself from stranding you out in the middle of nowhere. Of the two powertrains, the diesel is again the sweet spot. Its glut of low-end torque combined with four-wheel drive and aggressive off-road tires means the diesel ZR2 always has the traction and power to drive up, over, and through obstacles.

It’s the type of truck that pushes you to explore farther off-road for no other reason than just because you can. On a recent photo shoot, I was fortunate enough to be behind the wheel of the diesel ZR2 when we discovered our normal off-road route through the desert to a particular quarry was washed out and impassable for the pack of less capable pickup trucks in the shoot. I easily pushed the ZR2 through the washout and continued on my way—driving up to the top of sand dunes and miles down random rocky desert washes while looking for an easy way to get the other pickups where they needed to be. I didn’t find one, but I definitely didn’t mind wasting my time searching.

Although the diesel Colorado ZR2 is the better all-round truck both on- and off-road, if going high speeds across the desert is your thing, the gas is the better bet. With the truck’s Off-road mode (standard on both trucks) engaged—it lowers the ABS and stability control threshold and better keeps the engine in its powerband—the gas ZR2 stays on power and gets the pickup going at near triple-digit speeds as the suspension eats up whoops and bumps. The gas ZR2’s extra horsepower also makes it a better drifter if you’re into that sort of thing—which, let’s face it, you are.

Arguably the craziest thing about the new Colorado ZR2 is that you don’t have to spend an arm and a leg to get one. In a day and age where Ford dealers are sticking $20,000 markups on Raptors, the Colorado ZR2 V-6 comes remarkably well-equipped for its $42,780 starting price, with everything from its off-road hardware to Apple CarPlay software standard. Prices for the Colorado ZR2 Duramax start at a still-reasonable $46,280. Our loaded gas tester stickered for $45,020 and didn’t include a single option worth spending extra for save for the $395 blue paint (unless you’re really into the bed-mounted spare tire carrier). Our diesel Colorado tester stickered for $47,970; the only option box worth ticking is the full vinyl floor covering, which costs a whopping $0.

We’ll have to wait to get our hands on a Toyota Tacoma TRD Pro and the coming Jeep Wrangler-based pickup before crowing the Colorado ZR2 midsize off-roader as king, but it’s safe to say Toyota and Jeep have their work cut out for them.

2018 Chevrolet Colorado ZR2 V-6 2018 Chevrolet Colorado ZR2 Duramax Diesel BASE PRICE $42,780 $46,280 PRICE AS TESTED $45,020 $47,970 VEHICLE LAYOUT Front-engine, 4WD, 5-pass, 4-door truck Front-engine, 4WD, 5-pass, 4-door truck ENGINE 3.6L/308-hp/275-lb-ft DOHC 24-valve V-6 2.8L/186-hp/369-lb-ft turbodiesel DOHC 16-valve I-4 TRANSMISSION 8-speed automatic 6-speed automatic CURB WEIGHT (F/R DIST) 4,760 lb (57/43%) 4,983 lb (58/42%) WHEELBASE 128.5 in 128.5 in LENGTH x WIDTH x HEIGHT 212.4 x 76.7 x 72.2 in 212.4 x 76.7 x 72.2 in 0-60 MPH 7.1 sec 9.7 sec QUARTER MILE 15.5 sec @ 90.0 mph 17.2 sec @ 78.4 mph BRAKING, 60-0 MPH 135 ft 132 ft LATERAL ACCELERATION 0.70 g (avg) 0.69 g (avg) MT FIGURE EIGHT 29.1 sec @ 0.58 g (avg) 29.5 sec @ 0.55 g (avg) EPA CITY/HWY/COMB FUEL ECON 16/18/17 mpg 19/22/20 mpg ENERGY CONS, CITY/HWY 211/187 kW-hrs/100 miles 199/171 kW-hrs/100 miles CO2 EMISSIONS, COMB 1.15 lb/mile 1.10 lb/mile

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