#(rl has been a thing)

[numberonetribble]

Stuck at my mom's house until the 27th, can't finish the comic I was working on until then :( here's a rough Cowboy!pinup sketch of Bumblebee and some Breakbee + Piston angst:

[anghraine]

Aww, Ash admitted to me when we were discussing Star Wars opinions that she's not only thought about these things before, she's actually really feeling like using her advanced creative writing degree to write ...................... fanfiction, and has actually done so in the past.

me, shoving my 67 SW fanfics on AO3 under the bed: Oh hey, awesome! That sounds really interesting.

[architectural-sims]

Henford Hall -December, 18:39PM

[cuteniaarts]

Digitalised + coloured + redesigned version of my Suiren and Vaatu sketch from two days ago, as promised!!

Coming up with Suiren’s design was a very long process of trying and failing because after you’ve drawn 9+ different versions of one character, the creativity starts to run a little dry, but I’m actually really proud of this one, she looks absolutely adorable <3

(Also yeah I did mostly just scribble Vaatu’s pattern because who has the energy to draw the all out accurately. Not me, that’s who, I’m chronically tired. People who draw him on the regular have my utmost respect. He’s still a funky little guy though :D)

Bonus, Raava incessantly screaming inside Suiren (and being completely ignored because Suiren is tired of her) while all this is happening:

[werehounded]

Eeee this time tomorrow my train will be just leaving my local train station and I'll be on my way to London. I'm so excited, it's honestly silly. More rambling under the jump bc I didn't want people to have to scroll past this screed lmao

Something about travelling alone in my wheelchair for the first time further than birmingham makes me feel strangely emotional tbh. I can't pin what it is. Maybe that for nearly a year before my CES surgery I could barely walk and didn't have access to a wheelchair of any kind so I kind of just stagnated at home. And for two years+ before that I was suffering with such bad pain in my back that even with double crutches I could barely walk.

So now having this newfound freedom that a power wheelchair gives me? I feel on top of the fuckin world. Is it inconvenient when I can't just get an Uber or hop on the underground worry free? Yes. It's annoying as fuck. But also, there's ways around inaccessibility!

There are buses, and I'm fortunate that my chair has excellent suspension, making even bumpy pavements a breeze. Well. Except for the dreaded cobbles. Find me a wheelchair user that doesn't mind them and you'll have found a liar lmao.

I'm writing a lot of these long posts this week. Esp the past few days leading up to going to London. I think it's cause I genuinely didn't think I'd get here?? I thought I'd either be dead by now or forgotten by everyone except for my family.

I felt like I'd be house or bed bound entirely, (and probably would be were my mum not proactive in taking me to a and e and my consultant at stoke being so intent on operating kn me at like 7am the next morning,) because of my back and the pain I had back before my op.

I felt like no one would care- not friends or doctors or anyone. But I've been proven wrong by my rl and online friends and family and people like Hadley and I treasure all of them so much because they're all, in some part, key to the fact that I haven't become bedridden and more suicidal than I was at 28 29 anyway. I thought I'd be dead befoe I was 30, then I reached that milestone and kicked the can down the road saying I wouldn't live to 35.

Well now I'm very nearly 33. And I feel great tbh. I still have pain and fatigue and memory issues and diabetes and a myriad of other mh and physical issues but im HAPPY. I haven't been so happy since I was in my early 20s! I feel like my life has turned a corner and I'm over some kind of crossroads now. Things have changed wrt my health physically and mentally and being late diagnosed autistic, but it's soemthing im trying to take more in my stride now. The support of my loved ones is key to this, as is my freedom and independence.

I'm feeling mushy this morning, sorry if you read all of this.

[aroihkin]

I'm exhausted. People exhaust me.

[chiropteracupola]

or a different palette ask: cowboyce alan and davie in ‘lobotomy’?

I traveled through October, the mountains and the plains / Hoping that the losses won't outweigh the gains...

[obisamya]

first time in my life im choosing to interpret that whole thing as just a ‘and it was all a dream’ scenario

[averinthine]

oh how i wish i could just be taking the pills that make me joyous all the time... unfortunately the pills that make me joyous are also the pills that make me incredibly drowsy, and sometimes i have things i would like to be able to do without falling over

[girlyliondragon]

I wish I could selfship again.

I hate that I can't latch onto a character like I used to back then. Ex-'friends' hurt my ability to connect to characters on such a closely personal level so badly I'm straight up too scared to even try anymore bc hardly anyone understands outside the few oldest friends I (hopefully still) have.

My longest was three whole years, even me getting married to the character I selfshipped with and everything (it was one of those Cozy Games where you could date and marry an NPC character ala Stardew Valley-like, which helped the immersion, I felt actually married in my case), but then people made me feel ashamed to like the character for reasons I do not feel comfortable saying (lot of asspulling to put it lightly) to where I distanced myself from them, and then I couldn't get that close connection back again, I look at them and I just feel grief. Same with my last attempt here. Coercive ex from my last toxic "relationship" that I didn't even fucking want to begin with due to mental health tried to basically force me to "get over" my fictional attachments to focus on shitty real life as if that would fix me or at least make me happy as if a middle ground couldn't be had, which only hurt the mental thread more. Feel like had that not happened I'd actually be allowed to still heal in that regard. Bc I literally feel broken and empty otherwise so forever Fuck You with your "it's just fiction so get over it already" shit as if you thought you could fix me and my relationship with the unreal. I was literally fine. :/

I want to feel a closeness to fiction again. I really hate that the feelings I get for characters are so fleeting now when I want it to last longer. Past shit has really hurt there and idk how to get that back.

Like that link was broken ever since early 2023. The headspace I've tailored since I was 12 is just broken and it's been so hard to remake it anew. It really does hurt as someone who had been doing this since I was very young, now it's like I can't to the degree I did then anymore.

But moreso than anything it fucking pisses me off.

[phagodyke]

sorry for googling "is shadow of the erdtree hard" do u still think im cool....

[jadelotusflower]

I've been reading David Harewood's (excellent) book Maybe I Don't Belong Here: A Memoir of Race, Identity, Breakdown and Recovery, and I was not surprised that his time on Robin Hood was relegated to a single paragraph, but I did find that paragraph extremely on point:

"I returned to London where I got a call from the BBC about joining the cast of their new series of Robin Hood as Friar Tuck. I ended up creating a sort of Ninja monk version of the friar, and they seemed to like it. A Black Friar Tuck actually made the evening news and was considered fairly controversial. Finally, a television part with a little imagination had come my way. But after a cracking intro, the experience didn't quite turn out how I'd hoped."

[bowenoke]

the ultimate conclusion to the argument on whether it's acceptable to pirate hogwarts legacy is the person who everyone was sorta relying on to crack it posting a transphobia- and homophobia-laden screed against a well-known repacker. in terms of neatly tying up whether there were any methods of getting this game that wouldn't support someone shitty, that sure did tie it up!! /neg

[quarra]

I'm not saying that I'm definitely gonna work on which ever one wins (and some are much larger projects than others so they'll get done at different rates anyways), but i'm super curious what folks are looking forward to. Let me know!

[letstrywritingmaybe]

I’m so fucking tired, the switch to being a morning person is wild. I’ve never been that girlie and I never thought I could be but I’m loving my new job so far. Literally couldn’t be happier, I’m sure as it goes I’ll find things I may not enjoy but so far it’s been amazing. But again this was my first week and I don’t know shit yet. Enough about that, writing wise I’m so sorry I’m super behind. I’m still determined to keep weekly updates for the sibling verse, (delaying posting cause I’m supporting Palestine.) But I want to do multiple updates and at the very least give Vordark my beloved the weekly updates. But I’m too tired to try and write right now, so it’ll have to wait till tomorrow or maybe even Sunday. I’ve been working like nonstop the past three weeks and I don’t even have my Pens to keep me energized. Don’t even get me started on irl relationships with people, I’m still upset. But yeah I’m hoping to be on it soon

Update: dreaming up yet another shinshi verse I can’t write cause I have too many WIPs and I just can’t. But I’m hoping to start the next chapter of the sibling verse before I have to actually get up and ready!

Update 2: I started the next chapter of the sibling verse but had to do some errands and now I’m tired again. I’m gonna nap then watch the mean girls movie then hopefully finish the chapter. We shall see (I did finish the chapter!). Alright, I should have the full day today besides football and airport run way late. So I’m hoping to pick back up on the valentines event, then midnight rain, then the pov series that’s taken me too damn long already to start *sigh but also I would like to read one of my book books too. I’m feeling so behind in everything, and while it’s cause I’ve been so busy. I just wish I could be more on top of things, but I’m only human and it’s been very exhausting existing lately. Most of it is still very filling and I really do truly love my new job but there’s so much I have to learn!

Update 3: irl continues to be a lot. I did not get to go about my day off the way I wanted. It ended up being way stressful, but on the bright side I booked another trip cause of course I did. Okay now I’m gonna try and write. The curse of my main character energy continues, please just let me live my filler episode dreams!!! 😭😭😭

I’m halfway through with the valentine event I think, and idk why I’m exhausted. But I guess I’ve had a long week and today was a lot also. I’m gonna take a nap before I have to go to the airport and pick someone up. Idk if I’ll get more writing done after, and any tomorrow but I will try. At the very least, I’m going to update either the sibling verse or midnights. I believe I’m caught up on comments now, I love when I get to read fics! But now it’s time for bed cause unfortunately I need to be a morning person. One more day off but it’s going to be very busy with rl stuff again *sigh hoping I get some writing done but I’m not holding my breath. Now excuse me while I continue to dream about this fic I have no intention of writing, it’s another memory loss one cause of course it is

Update 4: I’m about to go to sleep cause I need to be a morning person (yes I’m going to keep talking about this until it actually happens) but I think I’m done with the valentines event! Super short chapters so it wasn’t that hard to do, but I’m just glad I got it done! Now I can go back to working on my projects I wanna do once I get used to my schedule. Also I ended up updating the sibling verse instead of midnights cause of my time stamp thing, but I will try again tomorrow

[pynkhues]

This is dumb but it's my favorite story of my nephew and your nephew story made me think of it: my nephew was probably 3-4 and he was jumping on a bed while I was trying to get him to nap and he WOULDNT stop so FINALLY!! I was just like 'I love you so much but sometimes you frustrate me! ' he stopped jumping on the bed tilted his head at me like a puppy and calmly asks me 'rustrated? What's rustrated'

(Also one time he broke his leg when he was also 3 and he got his cast off the first thing he says to me is to grab his leg and yell ' Auntie!GOT MY WHOLE LEG BACK!!')

Anon, those are THE cutest stories, oh my god. He got his whole leg back 😭😭😭