#(probably I'll actually call it some other line from the song)

[queerfables]

My deepest apologies to Tommy K, he has his flaws but he does NOT deserve to be the kind of villain I'm writing him as. Unfortunately the story where his nice guy charisma is just a facade is too compelling for me to let it go.

[mywifealhaitham]

pre release boothill relationship headcanons!!!

a/n: I'm fiending off crumbs... I've wanted to read some x reader of him but theres none so I gotta write it myself. I hope the other 4 boothill fans enjoy

warnings: gn!reader, like 2 gendered pet names (pretty girl/boy), most of this is written with bias because we don't have alot to go off, obviously written prerelease, when we actually get content of him I'll definitely be rewriting

LEAKS AHEAD!!!

bc: Valentine_DD_ on twt

- Boothill is described as a righteous person if his bottom line doesn't get crossed, so he definitely treats you good. probably more on the protective side when it comes to you, he's probably not afraid to use his gun if someone is threatening you.

- and believe me he's intimidating. from his overall tough and "unruly" cowboy look to his mechanical body it leaves enemies just a little challenged. he lowers his voice too and probably has a more fierce look in his eyes too. after any threats have been delt with he probably turns to you and turns into the sweetest thing ever, a wide grin across his face and his hands on your cheeks peppering you with small kisses.

- Its said he's a bit sophisticated due to his experiences so I'd like to imagine sometimes he charms you with facts and details about other planets or just genuinely sharing some tips and tricks he's picked up from other cultures. he's also a person who can get along with others pretty well but he can easily give strangers an impression he's selfish and is a bad person.

- again this kinda feeds into he's basically you'd guard dog... but I mean who wouldn't want to be saved by a handsome and sweet cowboy. despite his unpredictable personality and looks he's a huge gentleman for sure. always opens doors and pulls out chairs for you, makes sure your behind him and okay if any danger approaches and practically listens to your every command (lowkey giving off my girl and I don't argue she tells me to shut up and I do)

- one part I'm so excited to see is what they mean by he's illiterate and using metaphors. it's probably just him using slang but it's still kinda cute. I feel like his cheesy and strange metaphors turn into pick up lines when talking to you. perhaps he'll pull a "did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" or something cheesier. Definitely a huge nickname guy, almost never uses your real name. I'm guessing he'd use stuff like doll, sugar, baby, pretty girl/boy and more teasing names. heavy on doll and sugar and just imagine him saying it in a deep southern accent... 😍 kicking my feet. also I imagine he loves making you giggle by not cursing (because he literally cant) and normally he'd get pissed if someone laughed at him like that if it's you he doesn't mind at all.

- that's pretty much it for like analyzing the leaks I saw but now the stuff up ahead is just bias yapping because I always project

- HE DEFINITELY IS A HAND KISSER. greets you by getting on one knee, holding his hat to his chest and kissing your hand. makes eye contact with you too and does that toothy smirk of his IM SWOONINGGG

- maybe he's a dancer! pulls you into his arms and places his hat on your head when a good song plays in taverns. even if your clueless on any type of dances then he'll pull you along to the beat whispering Instructions in your ear.

- gets so lovesick when drunk it drives everyone mad. any folks he's sitting with at a bar gets a whole speech on his wonderful beautiful darling who he owes his live and would happily die by their hand. and may God save you when you come pick him up because he'll be all over you. Immediately he wraps a arm around your waist as he slurrs his hello as he proceeds to tell you he loves you like 40 times. besides the mass amounts of kisses you'll receive once you both reach a private spot he let's some feelings that he might be too shy to share normally, holding your face as he calls you his pretty girl/boy and how he's so lucky to have you.

- honestly not the best for cuddling however unfortunately he needs to cuddle you to sleep so goodluck! his metal body isn't completely uncomfortable it's just cold alot. he tries to get around this by literally preheating himself with blankets before you go to bed.

very bad boothill brainrot atm... only a few more weeks until we get official content 😭 everyone hold hands we got this

here's the actual leaks if anyone is curious ^_^

[cranberrymoons]

i'll be home for christmas

prompt: no upside down au (@steddieholidaydrabbles) rated: t word count: 909 words tags: flirting, bartender eddie, college student steve

welcome to Day 9 of the fic advent calendar – bite-sized fics posting every day during the month of december. enjoy!

Nancy dumps him a few months after he moves away for school, and so he doesn’t come home that summer or the one after that, until a couple years have gone by and he ends up stuck back at his parents’ house during Christmas break. 

He hasn’t seen them in a while, but truth be told, he’d kind of rather just be back in South Bend hiding out in his dorm or maybe at the bar with Robin, the only other person from Hawkins who’d ended up at Notre Dame. He hadn’t even known her before they were there, and she’s a year below him, but – whatever. When you leave a small town, you sort of tend to find each other after a while.

She’s not there right now, though, so it’s not like it really even makes a difference. She’s off on some trip with her own parents, one that they take every other year, back to visit her mom’s old hippie friends in Berkeley, because Robin has the sort of parents who have old hippie friends back in Berkeley. Maybe Steve could just get adopted by them, and then he'd never have to come back here at all.

Anyway.

He’s here now. That’s the problem.

And of course he got into a fight with his dad on the first night back. Of course he did. I wasn't even over anything worthwhile, just – Whatever. It doesn’t even matter. He doesn’t even care, just. He really does hate his dad sometimes.

He clenches his jaw in rhythm to the song that’s playing from the tape deck in his room, turns his head on the pillow to squint at the glowing red alarm clock in the corner. 

8:50 PM

It’s barely even nighttime. He can’t just sit here like this, like he’s waiting for his parents to leave, because they’re not going to fucking leave, so maybe – maybe he should –

He catapults himself off the bed and reaches for his keys on the dresser, shoving them in his back pocket before he can overthink it. Down the stairs, slipping into his shoes by the door, shrugging into his coat. Calling over his shoulder that he’s going out, don’t wait up, and –

He doesn’t actually know where he’s going, but he gets in his car and starts driving. Just drives until he ends up parked in front of the Hideout, the run-down little dive bar on the complete opposite side of town. 

It’s open, and there are a few people hanging around out front, so he turns off the car and goes inside.

It’s dark in here, the ceiling low and the music kind of weird and more guitar-y than he’s used to, but it’s medium-crowded in a way that makes him feel like he can probably just grab a seat at the bar and blend in and not have to worry about anyone trying to talk to him about –

“Harrington?”

Fuck. 

He turns with a big fake smile on his face, prepared to deal with Tommy, who he hasn’t seen in at least a year, or maybe even Billy, who he hasn’t seen in about as long. Worst of all would be the Byers kid, the one he got dumped for, but Jonathan’s probably not bold enough to actually say anything to his face, but still. The last person he expects to find is –

“Munson?” 

Eddie gives a little jerk of his head and drops a dish towel over his shoulder. He braces his hands on the opposite side of the bar, arms spread wide, and Steve’s eyes flicker down, just for a beat, to the way the thin cords of muscle flex under his skin where it’s lined with a twisting pattern of black tattoos.

Eddie clears his throat, and Steve sucks in a breath, blinking back up to his face. Eddie raises his eyebrows. 

“What’ll it be?”

“Um. Just a – beer, whatever,” Steve says as he tugs his coat off and slides onto a stool. “You work here?”

“No, I’m just a really creative burglar,” Eddie says. He reaches for a glass and pulls the tap as he eyes Steve up and down. “Playing the long game. If I stand back here long enough, they’ll stop noticing me, and that’s when I strike.”

He sets down the drink and slides it across the bar, and Steve grins as he accepts it, letting out a surprised laugh. 

“Well now you’ve given it away,” he says, raising his eyebrows as he takes a sip. “Your plan is ruined.”

“You’re going to turn me in?” Eddie asks. He folds his arms over his chest and leans back against the countertop behind him, and Steve’s eyes drop down again like he can’t help it. “What if I cut you in? Ten percent?”

Steve feels a pleased little flush wash over him as he looks back up to Eddie’s face, shoulders relaxing as he takes another sip of his beer. Eddie’s smile is slow and a little sweet, and it makes something in Steve’s stomach do a weird little flip. He tears the corner off a bar napkin to distract his hands from fidgeting too much, and leans forward across the bar. He narrows his eyes.

“Twenty.”

Eddie’s smile grows. He lifts his chin. “Fifteen, and your next beer’s on me.”

Steve laughs, feeling a warm glow settle in his chest. “Sounds like a deal.”

[also on ao3]

[unluckycryptid]

An Unnecessary In-depth Analysis on the Movie and Soundtrack versions of "The Fight of Our Lives" from Descendants 4: The Rise of Red

Hi all, before I get started, I just wanted to say that I enjoyed watching The Rise of Red after being constantly bombarded about it on Tiktok, so now I've been listening to the soundtrack nonstop. I know "Fight of Our Lives" is one of those songs that are either on the top or the bottom of someone's favs list, and for me, it's at the top. I've been listening to this one song on repeat--moreso than any of the other songs.

Now, let's get into it.

There are 3 different versions of the song I'm going to try to analyze side-by-side: 1) the extended version on the official soundtrack 2) the movie version and 3) the visuals of the movie version.

So as some of us know,

The extended version features a conversation between Red and Chloe:

[Extended Version] How naive to still believe you'll get a happy ever after A privileged little princess, a fairy-fail disaster Spoken like a slacker, Red, you're seeing someone else I've worked hard for every single trophy sitting on my shelf You need helpYou're a poser with a bad attitudeThat's not true, you don't know the things that I've been throughNeither do youWell, then tell me, little goody two-shoes What do you think we should do?

Whereas the movie version, the conversation is cut down to Red's lines on the matter

[Movie version] Give me that! *Makes a grab for the watch* I don't need the help of some princess goody-two-shoes. I'll handle this myself

Already we're starting out with a difference in subtle characterization between Chloe and Red. The extended version gives it to us explicitly how they see each other upon their initial interaction, one that the audience may also have initially assumed. Red calls Chloe "naive", "privileged" and a "fairy-fail disaster" whereas Chloe calls Red a "slacker" and a "poser". Their shared defensiveness in the line "you need help" is hilarious, but also keep in mind it is also their first shared line in the song. Taken out of context within their conversation, but held up to the rest of the song, it all comes back to the purpose of the song and the whole movie in general where the two need the help of each other to complete their mission.

Individual characterizations can also be found here. With Chloe, of the three insults that Red throws at her in the extended version, she chooses to respond to being called "privileged" by talking about how hard she's worked for her trophies and whatnot. We see this later come back in the movie in her interactions with Ella and Ella's own views on privilege, but it is nice to see how it is first brought up here.

As for Red, her response after being called a "poser" gets her a little more defensive. She's already been called a "slacker" by Chloe, but "poser" means she's pretending to be something. Is this because of how she sentenced Ella to treason in an attempt to please her mom? Is Chloe referring to their first interaction, where Red immediately tries to threaten her? Or does it touch a nerve due to the fact that she genuinely tries to express herself (aka her clothing) but is always shut down by her mother? Either way, Red's shown to be misunderstood and most likely a loner with the exception of Maddox. Getting called a poser probably cut a little more for Red who is still trying to figure out how she wants to be seen (it doesn't help that she already threatened to feed Chloe to the jabberwocky).

Additionally, the next verse is prompted differently by Red. As opposed to the movie version, the extended/studio version has her prompt and ask Chloe what Chloe thinks they should do. I'll keep touching on this a little more, but this shines a light on the difference between the two versions. In the extended version, you'll see that it is formatted as a conversation between the two characters, which I absolutely love.

Alright let's move on to the actual song now.

Chloe's Verse [Movie/Extended] I'll tell it to you straight to your face There isn't any time left to waste My kingdom back home needs to be saved Give me the pocket watch or you're getting slayed You best behave [Extended only] Tell your pack of cards I'm coming back to cut their deck I could beat your evil army in a millisec I'll slice them up like cheddar My mom won't have forever The clock is ticking and it's time That's why it's now or never

So the movie cuts out a good portion of Chloe's verse which I understand since they need to save time and the second portion of her verse isn't too important in terms of the story since we already know this part. However, I will say that I still think they should have kept it in since: this is the first time Chloe sings. She doesn't have any songs sang by herself and the two songs she is most prominently featured in are duets. In "Get You Hands Dirty", Ella starts the song and leads it for the most part, and Red has her own intro song. Again, while I understand why they cut it out of the movie, the second part of Chloe's verse serves to add more to what we may have picked up about her. The first three lines of that second verse lets us know that Chloe is confident in her skills as a sword fighter and that she's willing to fight. The last three lines add to her desperation to go back to the past to help her mom.

Chloe's chorus [Movie/Extended] I'm running out of hope, running out of time I'll do what it takes just to change your mind Or we'll cross swords, hope not to die We're on opposite sides in the fight of our lives [Extended] There is no future in the past We gotta move forward, not stay back The moment is now, but it won't last We're on opposite sides in the fight of our lives

I think this is where the major difference between the extended and movie version come into play. If you've only listened to the movie version, an additional voice is added in the 2nd and 4th lines as a short bit of harmony and it sounds as though Red is singing it. However, the extended version doesn't emphasize that second voice, keeping it focused only on Chloe's voice making it Chloe's chorus. Again, like I said, the extended version emphasizes the conversation between the two characters and Chloe's the first one up to share her thoughts on the matter. Going back to the point that this is the first time that Chloe sings in the movie, this is the only time she gets a chorus to herself--and like her verse, it's cut short. :/

Now onto Red:

Red's verse Use your brains Going back will just cause more pain We agreed we gotta make a change To beat the queen above everything You're on my side or you're in my way You wanna leave but I got to stay There's a reason we're here today For past, present and future's sake, wait Pre-chorus Got too much at stake to go home (That's not true) Guess I'm gonna do it on my own (I'm here too) You're not gonna catch me if I fall (Maybe) Got me runnin' on these walls Dippin', flippin' somersaults (Stop) 'Bout to risk it all

So unlike Chloe, we do end up getting to see the full version of Red's verse. I'm not going to touch too much into it since its fairly straightforward but I did want to focus during the pre-chorus. I want to touch on little bits that Chloe cuts in because, in a way, it reflects and foreshadows their relationship.

When Red goes "Got too much at stake to go home" and Chloe responds with "That's not true" this is currently where their relationship is at. Chloe doesn't know what stakes are on the table for Red, while alternatively, Chloe's sang about what stakes are in it for her in her verse.

Now when Red goes "Guess I'm gonna do it on my own" and Chloe says "I'm here too" I find this interesting because up until this point, we're lead to believe that if Chloe gets hold of the pocketwatch and is able to leave without any interference, she would have done so already.

I want to bring in a bit about what what visuals we see in the movie right now, but I have more to say about other parts of the visuals separately at the end. Anyway, we see that, yes, Chloe has the watch and she stops to listen during Red's verse and turns around to leave once Red gets to the pre-chorus.

She could keep walking away, hell she could run off and use the pocket watch on her own. What incentive does she have to take Red back to the future with her? At this point, Chloe hasn't decided to trust Red. But Red runs up to her, unarmed mind you, and the two end up circling each other--almost as though Chloe's decided to listen to her.

So now, Red says "you're not gonna catch me if I fall" and its kind of hard to hear and some lyric websites don't show it, but Chloe says "Maybe" in response to the line (it's clearer in the live/studio version). It's small but its the first time Chloe verbally shows that she might be willing to trust Red and not just cooperate with her. But it could go the other way: maybe she won't catch Red, maybe she will, but what's important here is that she's not outright denying that she won't work with Red.

They're still circling each other during this point, and again Chloe didn't need to fall into circle with Red, she could have just left. But it also shows that Chloe doesn't want to want to just abandon Red in the past. At this point, she still wants to go back to the future, but she's just hoping to get Red to agree to return with her which could be a reason she says "stop" in a hilariously exasperated tone in response to Red talking about "running up on these walls" and "dippin, flippin somersaults".

Before we get into Red's chorus, we should note that in the visuals, it's at the last lines of the pre-chorus that we see Red decide to get a weapon to fight for the pocket watch. I've talked about how Chloe could have just kept walking, but alternatively, why didn't Red make a grab for the weapon/flag earlier? She could have done so just as Chloe turned her back with the pocket-watch. She spent the entirety of her verse and pre-chorus trying to convince Chloe, but only now does she decide to even the match between her and Chloe.

I know it sounds like I'm reaching here but it could have something to do with Chloe's first insult at Red in calling her a "slacker". The main weapon we've seen Red use so far are her words (both in the song and in the act of accusing Cinderella of treason). Yes, she's been trying to convince Chloe to stay in the past to fix things, but it's starting to get too long. She's just going to have to speak another language to fully convince Chloe--and what's a better language to convince a girl with a sword than the language of fighting?

Red's Chorus I don't need your help 'cause the watch is mine If you hear me out, then you'll change your mind Let's not cross swords, hope not to die 'Cause we're on opposite sides in the fight of our lives Change the future in the past We gotta move forward where we're at The moment is now, but it won't last We're on opposite sides in the fight of our lives

Even though Red contradicts my earlier point about trying to convince Chloe with the line "I don't need your help 'cause the watch is mine", she immediately contradicts herself with her next line "If you hear me out, then you'll change your mind." I'll analyze the line "Let's not cross swords" later when we go over the shared chorus.

In terms of visuals, Red is definitely giving Chloe a fight. She's attacking while Chloe is defending and it all comes to a culmination at the end of the chorus when Red manages to knock the watch out of Chloe's possession.

At this point she can keep fighting Chloe and go for the watch herself. It's the same as 'why didn't Chloe just walk away with the watch' and 'why didn't Red grab the flagpole sooner?'.

Alright this takes us to the bridge/breakdown:

Bridge Let me ask you something Why should I trust you? Your mom just staged a violent coup For all I know, you're gonna stab me in the back too Think what you want to, boo I'm nothing like my mom Her power trip was way too strong, I knew that she was wrong Well, maybe we'll get along, maybe we're not that different Maybe we need each other to complete the same mission I'm glad you put your pride aside to make the right decisionWe'll work together until history is rewritten

You'll notice that Chloe actually backs up from Red's attack with the pocket watch as she starts her portion of the bridge.

She's waiting for Red to attack her, hence why she hasn't sheathed her sword yet. But you'll also notice that Red isn't poised to attack. The staff is under her arm, not in front of her. I think, at this point, Red's goal in attacking Chloe with a weapon is actually achieved. The goal being: separating the watch from Chloe before she could return them to the future. Also, you'll notice that they're finally on even ground-literally in that they're both standing on the same level on the balcony, and that they both have weapons they can use to attack each other. Neither of them have the advantage here. So when Red starts her next line "think what you want to boo, I'm nothing like my mom" and throws the staff down, it really brings home the point that she's being sincere in trying to convince Chloe to work with her.

And Chloe is convinced as she sheaths her sword once Red drops her weapon. I skipped this part earlier but the dialogue where the second part of Chloe's verse is cut is where Chloe has the sword on Red while Red says "What are you going to do? Run me through and steal my watch? I think there's a word for that actually...it starts with a V... oh right: Villain." Here, with Red throwing down her weapon, she trusts that Chloe wouldn't do that to her.

Back to the bridge, Chloe's next line is full of the word "maybe" calling back to her first "maybe" during Red's pre-chorus. While that initial "maybe" in the pre-chorus can be thought of as how Red might be able to rely on Chloe if she falls, these "maybe"s reflect the same questions but from the opposite perspective. Can Chloe trust Red to have her back and complete their mission? The initial "maybe" calls into question if the two can rely on each other while these latter "maybe"s call into question how much can they rely on each other.

The bridge ends with their second shared line before going into their shared chorus. If we put the first shared line to this second shared line:

"You need help" -> "We'll work together until history is rewritten"

This almost sounds like it an problem and solution. Yes, the "you need help" line refers to their personalities clashing with one another, but the double meaning of "you need help, you can't complete this mission on your own" is solved by "working together until history is rewritten".

Final Chorus We might not be a team, but we gotta try Did you change your heart, or just change your mind? So cross our swords, hope not to die I'm kinda surprised, are we on the same side? Change the future in the past We gotta move forward where we're at The moment is now, but it won't last So we're on the same side in the fight of our lives Fight of our lives The fight of our lives We're on the same side

So going into this final chorus that they both share, I want to look into the music a bit. Both in the movie and the extended soundtrack version, you'll notice, neither of them take the harmony. They're both singing the melody signifying their equality in this team/relationship. With how the movie is named after Red, you'd think that it would be a main character-sidekick kind of relationship, but the overall movie really makes sure to emphasize that-no, Chloe is needed and she's just as important as Red to make this story work. (So I guess one could come up with an AU where Red makes it into the past but without Chloe. How would things have turned out?)

Now I want to analyze the three chorus's side by side and I want to look in particular at the first three lines.

I'm running out of hope, running out of time I'll do what it takes just to change your mind Or we'll cross swords, hope not to die I don't need your help 'cause the watch is mine If you hear me out, then you'll change your mind Let's not cross swords, hope not to die We might not be a team, but we gotta try Did you change your heart, or just change your mind? So cross our swords, hope not to die

The first two lines of both Chloe and Red's chorus reflects the conversation between the two. Both of them making "I" statements and how each one is trying to change each other's mind about what they should do next. What gets me with the second line of both of their choruses is that Chloe's "I'll do what it takes to change your mind" leaves no room for compromise or work with Red, while Red's "If you hear me out, then you'll change your mind" shows Red wants Chloe to hear her out and that Red is the one extending the possibility of the two working together.

This point is further hammered home by each of their third lines. Chloe's third line reads a bit like an "or else" threat. 'Give me the watch "or [else] we'll cross swords".' Red's reads as 'I don't want to have to fight you' so "Let's not cross swords".

For someone who is a VK, you'd expect them to want take the lone road in getting what they want--that they'd be jumping at the opportunity to fight someone for what they want. But not Red, no this shows that Red really isn't like her mom and that while she may have some bad attitude, she doesn't want to be selfish, she's not doing this for personal glory, and she is even willing to work with others to defeat her mom.

The third line of the shared chorus "so cross our swords" now ends up reading like a handshake, maybe even a pinky promise to get through with their mission without dying because now they're on the same side in the fight of their lives.

-

Before I end this analysis, I did want to bring up a couple more stuff about the visuals that I couldn't find a place to talk about.

Mainly I wanted talk about Chloe as a swordsman and Red's initial perceptions on that.

First, I wanted to talk about Chloe's physicality on the field. We've already seen her fight her dad (and she's pretty impressive given that she was able to disarm him using her non-sword arm) so we know she's a great swordsman, but I will say this about her: she's not exactly the most graceful one out there.

Case 1:

Girl throws herself a the wall with her sword just to get in front of Red. You can see that Red absolutely does NOT expect that she'd jump in front of her like that. It's unconventional but effective.

Case 2:

Her little shuffle to dodge Red's staff always cracks me up cause you'd think there would be more finesse in her dodging ability. But again, its effective-she was able to dodge Red's attacks.

Case 3:

Miss ma'am chooses to full send off a balcony that had stairs (which Red takes).

Case 4:

Jumping for the pocket watch hoping to catch it with her sword, and not getting any on-screen assistance from Red at all. (Although I do wish that we saw Red help her in some way by either giving her a boost or using per parkour skills so that they could work together to grab it and hammer in the point that they're working together now.) She does eventually get it down though.

So while yes, Chloe isn't necessarily the most graceful swordsman, her moves are-for the most part-effective.

But now I also want to talk about Red's perceptions of Chloe as a swordsman.

When Red initially has the watch and Chloe makes a grab for it, they're running around and Red turns around to basically taunt Chloe. From Red's perspective, the only other swordsman that she's encountered are her card soldiers (that we know of) and she easily runs laps around the handfuls of guards in her opening scene. She's not initially intimidated by Chloe and her sword because she's confident that she can outrun her. So when Chloe pulls the unconventional move of (again) running full speed at a wall in front of Red with her sword drawn, the surprised face Red makes probably comes from "oh sh*t, I may have underestimated his girl".

Remember, at this point Red's called Chloe "naive" and in the scene prior, she's says to Chloe "I thought you were supposed to be the smart one" so with Chloe being a swordsman, she may have extended the same thought process in the other girl's skills on the battlefield. But I think that Chloe pulling that move just to catch Red and then Chloe's subsequent move in using her sword to catch the watch's chain to pull it out of Red's possession, it shows Red that this girl can hold her own in a fight.

Once Chloe takes possession of the watch, we see Red considering something before she starts her own verse. I think it's at this point where she's fully considering trying to convince Chloe to work together or at least see her point of view instead of just doing it on her own, and she ends up doing so as her verse starts.

So yeah, this kind of brings it all full circle. We watch Red and Chloe going at it, Chloe's swordsmanship skills impacts Red's perception of Chloe, going against Red's initial impression of Chloe's naivety and privilege, which leads Red to decide to convince Chloe to work alongside her. On the opposite end, Chloe's initial impressions of Red being a slacker and being a poser are challenged once Red matches her skills in physicality and weaponry as well as finally seeing Red's genuine intentions in convincing Chloe to help her. When the two finally are on the same side, its reflected in the music in which both sing the melody, and in the subtle lyric changes that show the initial formations of their team/duo relationship.

--

If you made it this far, thanks for reading. I was hoping to get this out in one afternoon but this actually took a couple sessions to fully lay out everything I've noticed and wanted to talk about this song. Again, its my favorite song in the movie, so hopefully I've convinced some more people about how awesome this song actually is.

[shiraishi-kanade]

AWAKE NOW: an (almost) line by line analysis by yours truly, pt.1

If you've been following me at all, you probably know that Awake Now is my favourite An Shiraishi commission and that I always ramble how symbolic and incredible its lyrics are, among other things. Well, it's time for me to actually explain why I think it's so great!

This is part one tackling only in-game version; I'll later make an addition to this post expanding on the full version lyrics, because there is also a lot to unpack there and I don't want to do all what work in one sitting. Sorry.

[Disclaimer: for a quite a long time, the commonly accepted translation of this song has been facing criticism, and quite a lot of lines have been changed into what I believe is more accurate later. More corrections may be yet to come, but this post will use the translation available at 27.10 by Hiraethie, with edits by Violet and 25239x.]

Lazy Rainy My Soul is

now in a bad mood

From this new feeling called Lament

(New feeling called Lament)

The first verse of the song is referencing An's growing unease she experiences during the time of Bout to be Beside you; while she doesn't know why she feels that way at the beginning, a big emphasis is made on how she never felt that way before, because even having a partner is something that is a new experience for An.

The supposed relationship full of perfection

got complicated on its way

This line references the way An perceives her own and Kohane's partnership, as well as just their general dynamic: they started off strong but already faced some conflict during Singing in Sync, the very first event of VBS, during which An had to confront her overprotectiveness; now this relationship is starting to get even more complicated with An's anxiety and "hazy feelings" thrown into the mix.

Not only that, it's also important that this line went to Touya - who went through his own issues in his relationship with Akito.

Still staying passionate, I Try

A general callback to An's attitude to losing and having roadblocks:

🎧: I hate to lose, but I usually take a more positive approach to think and work harder to do better next time.

(btby episode 4, official tl)

As well as, in this particular situation, she only sees one way to get over her feelings: to stay passionate and keep singing. This line is later brought up again in Rekka with "My silence and passion, I kept them inside my heart" line.

It's not like you're the one at fault

This is An's admitting that Kohane is never at fault for making An feel the way she does; that she has the full right and ability to make progress and keep improving as much as she wants to, and An could never blame her for it. At the same time, An is bitter at herself for having these feelings at all, which we later see in WTWG.

Trip Step, I want to do that again and again

If we could light up the night together

For eternity, then...

An wants to be Kohane's partner and keep singing with her despite the anxiety she brought into her life. If we look at the phrase "light up the night" to mean performing and bringing excitement to people (which it very well could be, seeing the overall symbolism of fire and light has in VBS's story), it becomes apparent this refers to An wanting to stay partners with Kohane forever, especially considering these lines in the event itself:

👤: Have you found a good partner yet, An?

🎧: No, not yet... It's taking longer than I expected...

🎧: But I have a feeling that we're gonna be singing together forever once I do!

***

🎧: That she's [Kohane] the only one who can be my partner...

(same event, chapter 5)

An is willing to go to extreme length to keep being Kohane's partner - so they can "light up the night" together.

Falling in love with the sound of my wings

that I outstretched to the skies,

This line goes to Kohane as well as Touya, but refers primarily to Kohane's discovering her own talent and (rightfully) enjoying all the new experiences and emotions it has brought into her life. It's also a clever play on Kohane's name, seeing as if she had a kanji spelling instead of hiragana, it most definitely would have included the character 羽 - "wing" or "feather". This same wordplay is then later used in Hollow:

預かる背中のその羽が

azukaru senaka no sono hane ga

This is confirmed by the song's producer and the very same character is used in Awake Now, so it's very unlikely it's just a coincidence - at the same time, "outstretching her wings" definitely refers to Kohane gaining new abilities and exploring new opportunities with Taiga.

the flowers of my dreams start overflowing.

I’ll make them sublimely

beautifully bloom so,

Seemingly, An has gotten everything she's ever wanted: she found a partner and a team, and townfolk are starting to take her dream more seriously - but her feelings about Kohane are overwhelming and distracting her from that, even during practice. Even so, An is determined to make that relationship work.

The first line here also went to Kohane and Touya, likely reflecting how their dream was found somewhere later than An and Akito's was, so that development is even more spontaneous to them than to the first two.

don’t forget that I’m right next to you, okay?

This is both reassurance to Kohane that An will always be by her side and believing in her, and a plea by An for Kohane not to forget her as she keeps growing and moving forward, and for Kohane to keep An by her side. It's a very nice double edged sword of a line and probably one of my favourite ones in the entire song.

Also, it also has Akito in the background, which is just... *Gestures at Stray Bad Dog event*. And this moment in BTBY too:

🥞: She's having an effect on the rest of us, including me, which means you, her partner, probably have it worse...

🥞: You feel like you're getting left behind... Like I did a while ago...

Akito went through something very similar, though not identical - that's likely the reason he was able to notice An's worries and help her in the first place.

Even if our touching backs begin to separate

Kohane is starting to pursue training with Taiga outside of An's reach, and An is starting to bottle up her feelings about Kohane - they're no longer as emotionally close as they used to be, and that's okay. Might also refer to the difference in skill level that is not there yet but will become quite apparent soon: their touching backs begin to separate... Perhaps even going in different directions.

Awake Now

The name drop and the meaning behind the song title: An is now aware of the feelings she experienced back in Awakening Beat and the true reason behind it, as unpleasant as it may be.

This doesn't end with my longing alone

This is perhaps one of the most interesting lines in the song, as it's the one that has faced the most misinterpretation, previously being translated as "I will never stop yearning for you."

Nevertheless, a corrected translation makes a lot more sense. An refuses to be the only one "yearning" in her and Kohane's relationship; she wants to keep inspiring Kohane and make her go even further, for Kohane to keep yearning for An and her singing, too.

🎤: Since you want to be someone she can “respect and be proud of”, An, you want her to like and be excited by the way you sing.

(same event, chapter 6)

This later comes back as a major theme in WTWG:

🎧: (But you know what, Kohane?)

🎧: (I'm not satisfied with that.)

🎧: (I want to drag it out of you, too.)

🎧: (This new power of yours, all sorts of feelings you've never felt before, all of it, all of it!)

🎧: (I want to drag it out of you, with my song!)

(WTWG, chapter 7, tl by Lozy Bug on YouTube)

...and more throughout the same chapter. In other words, while Kohane's singing make An experience new feelings and emotions, An doesn't want to be the only one of the two this happens to - so... She starts working towards doing it right back at her. But in BTBY, this specifically refers to the "I want to keep singing with you forever" feeling, too.

In other words, even the game version of Awake Now is basically An's Shiraishi character arc condensed into one song; it breaks down the point of conflict in BTBY down to it's bare essentials, and expands on motives that will later come back in play over a year later - and that is why I consider this song to be the best An Shiraishi comm.

And we haven't even gotten to the full version.

[judasgot-it]

I wanted to write something really quick for Jouno's birthday ngl, so here's some really cheesy dogshit

Happy Birthday to the blind king himself (ugh I miss him)

Scenario: Calling Jouno while he's at work. It becomes a little silly.

As much as Jouno hated the telephone, he hated the sounds of his coworkers even more.

What were they yelling for? It's four in the morning.

Who's even up at four in the morning?

Apparently them.

Every day. For the last 2 weeks.

Usually, he could have slept in for at least 3 more hours. Have a coffee that didn't taste like piss and tinfoil (everyday he hated whoever made the coffee in the lounge, no one would tell him the name of the moron who cheaped out on it. They weren't safe from him.) and get to tell his woe's to someone who didn't have rocks for brains.

But no. He was stuck here, at HQ, listening to reports that led their current case to nowhere.

Which led to yelling. Always yelling.

So answering the phone was honestly rather refreshing.

"..."

He waited a second. Why should he, of all people, speak first?

"Hello? Is Jouno there?"

Jouno felt time pause for a moment. He stopped, listening to the other members in the room.

They seemed rather distracted, not truly paying attention to what he was doing. Teruko and Tachihara were arguing and Tecchou was...he smelt gross, so probably working out.

"Sorry, who is this?"

He really hoped he was hearing wrong.

"Jouno, c'mon you know who I am. Why, is something wrong?"

When did you have their number? As far as he recalled, only government officials were ever given this number, and even that is far and few in between. He never let you know much about his work.

"I'm not trying to buy anything."

To Jouno's dismay, that failed miserably. Instead, all he heard was your laughter on the other side of the phone. Did you really think his misery was funny?

"If I find you, I'll kill you."

Jouno made threats as a part of his day-to-day life, it was easy to fake it towards you. But a part of him felt how he was cracking easily, hearing your obvious giggles as they thought of the next line to say.

"Ok ok. Sorry I know you're busy at work right now. But I really did call for something really important."

Taking a moment, Jouno sighed as he leaned against the small desk that held the phone. He waited a bit, listening to see if the others in the room were still ignoring him.

As much as he hated it, they seemed to actually notice that the "bad-things-are-happening-please-help" phone was called. His luck really is immaculate.

"How did you get this number again?"

There was a guilty laugh on your end. What had you so happy?

"Some other day, maybe. But that's not important! Jouno."

Jouno gave a very long sigh.

"Jouno, today is your birthday!"

"Yes."

He was really hoping he was as good of an actor as he thought he was, because he couldn't help how his heart was beating twice as fast at the thought of you remembering something so small.

"Are you coming home tonight?"

There was a pause.

Jouno didn't want to respond, because he hated the answer. Truthfully, he didn't know when he would have a 'normal' (for a hunting dog) workday.

He didn't even want to admit out loud how much he missed you.

"Oh, ok. You know, after your 'case' is over, we should get to celebrating. I have the perfect gift for you already, which definitely involves no clothes."

"No."

There was a pause on your end. He hated telling you no. Weird, since frankly breaking people's hearts was his favorite past time.

"Good idea. Uh..."

Jouno forced himself to listen back into the conference room, which was now weirdly quiet. There was also a small heartbeat very very close to him.

That was not a good sign.

"Thank you. Um."

He turned his head, bell-jingling against the phone, as he knew Teruko was looking up at him -probably with a shit eating grin.

"...I love you."

Sighing, he ate his pride, turning away.

"I love you too, Jouno. Happy birthday."

You sang it, not forcing him to endure the entire song. He hoped he was tall enough and facing enough away that Teruko couldn't see the smile on his face hearing those words.

When he hung up the phone, hearing the click and shut off the landline, he was forced to face his reality.

The one where he couldn't stop hearing his coworkers giggling. Particularly Teruko's, but even Tecchou was laughing somewhere deep in that stupid body of his that managed to breathe air.

He wanted to kick him.

"I didn't know you were in a relationship."

Tachihara said this nervously, but still with a smile in his voice.

"I'm not. I don't know who that was or how they got that number."

It was hard to say this seriously, as Jouno could feel the red creeping up on his face.

Happy birthday Jouno omfgggfgfg when is he coming back </3

[urlocalwormtoday]

I might be making connections that aren't there but I think The Lazarus of Westlake by Crywolf fits Rat n Lux's relationship-

y'all probably don't wanna go listen to the whole song so I'll put some of the strongest connections in the lyrics that I could find below, spoiler warning xD

" No survivor

And nothing survived "

This could definitely be something about Lux's death, 'no survivor' being Rat returning to Astron alone and 'nothing survived' being a reference to Charter permanently killing her and multiple others

" I touch the souls of dead men

Here from my forgotten life "

Those 'dead men' sound like they could be all of the players lost to Charter- Arathain, Void, Zombie, Diansu, and now Lux (even if Lux isn't a man lmao). 'forgotten life' is a pretty easy connection, being Rat's cabin after he was banished. The life that's forgotten is his warpath from before- even if he hasn't fully given up the bloodshed lol

" King and lord of the void "

The 'king and lord' bit could be the way he and Lux (I've always thought lord was a sorta gender-neutral term but it might not be ??? I dunno) used the ink to fight Nox and Blake, but also the void could be about Neverend :o

" I'm trying to save this but I don't know how "

Okay this line DEFINITELY feels like Rat's grief, not only over the loss of Lux, but also just the general wanting to be a better person and make less villainous choices; that, and also him trying to save/get to Lux right before the box crushed her 😭

" Tongues of angels suspended in time

A forgotten voice deep inside "

Could be something Charter/Mouthpiece or Augur related ??? I'm not entirely sure actually ! Maybe could even be Folly if we're feeling adventurous with the possible lore :3

" Laying in threads of gold "

C'mon guys !!!! This one's so easy and literally the reason I made this post !!!! The golden chains that appear whenever somebody's about to be killed by Charter !!! They're not threads but whatever, it's close enough

" Butterflies of white and grey "

The bottles of moths Lux had in her befoul mod !! (I think it was befoul) Just replace butterflies with moths and it makes sense- oh and also the way Rat put one of the bottles next to Lux's grave as part of a memorial. I will never recover. And, of course,

" 'Darling, you're still alone.' "

I can imagine Astron being the one to say this to Rat. He didn't win, he didn't beat Blake OR Nox, he was betrayed by Asai, Lux is permanently dead; the only things he has left now are Astron and Charter (excluding the rest of the server, but seeing as they all chose to spare Blake and neither Rat nor Lux took kindly to that, I'm sure he wouldn't want to ally with any of them)

I've always seen Rat and Lux's relationship as more platonic/familial + this song just perfectly scratched a spot in my brain

Like I said, I might just be making connections that aren't there, but who gives a fuck because I think it fits the overwhelming grief from the finale and I like it <3

Again, the song is called The Lazarus of Westlake and it's by Crywolf

This is the first time I've encountered this artist but the song sounds pretty good despite being short so kudos to them lol

[whipped-for-kpop-fics]

Seventeen with an s/o that writes/produces songs? The s/o could be like a very famous one! for example: when fans see their name is in the credits of a song (kpop or even western music, cus why not be a global phenomenon 🤷🏽‍♀️) they already know it’s gonna be so good since they have a history of making amazing music, iykiwm?

THANK YOU SO MUCH! Also I love your work, you’re so talented and you always put stuff out so quickly but to the highest quality it’s quite mind blowing. ilysm!! 💗

🎶Who; Seventeen (individually) x reader, with a focus on Jihoon at the end 🎶What; headcanon, idol/producer au 🎶Wordcount; 570-ish 🎶Warnings; none, I don't think

-2024 Masterlist-

A/N - I'm not sure how to do individual reactions for this because I'm pretty sure they'd all be pretty similar so I don't want to be repetitive, so I'll write a general thought and any extra bits for those who may have an individual line of thought. Sorry it's taken a little while to write too, I really couldn't figure out how to write this so I hope this is okay. Thank you for the suggestion and I hope you like it

Also omg you're so sweet omg, that's genuinely one of the nicest comments I've ever had about my writing! Being told my writing is high quality feels insane in the best of ways! Thank you for saying that! I really appreciate it 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

He will love it if you're in the same industry as him, especially if you're well known because you'll know exactly what it's like to be him; the busy schedules and little privacy with people always trying to have a view into your personal lives. So you'll be able to bond over that from day one.

The biggest hype man for his partner; they won't all cheer the loudest at award shows because obviously, some of them are much too introverted for that but they will all shower you with praise for every award you win. But even if he doesn't cheer the loudest, he will all do his utmost to share every single new release you've worked on, sometimes his social media accounts will seem more like a fan accounts for you but it's very sweet and cute so the fans don't really mind.

Of course, it's not all fun times. What with how busy you both are, it's genuinely really hard to find time to be together so unless you move in together, you probably might not even see each other on a weekly basis. Though even if you live together, your conflicting schedules will probably make it hard to be awake at the same time so most of your quality time together is spent asleep.

So long as you both try to make space for each other in your hectic schedules and try and have a phone/video call every single day and send update/random messages to one another throughout the day when possible, you'll be fine.

Now, of course, I have to do a special shout-out to Jihoon, producer-songwriter extraordinaire. If anyone will understand how much he works, it's you. But the funniest thing is, he's actually the one I think will be able to handle all this the easiest.

Because I have this very vivid of Jihoon in his studio working away with his headphones on and his phone propped up in the matching stands you have in your own studios, your face on his screen showing you doing the exact same thing in your own studio. You can't hear each other and honestly, the calls are muted at both ends so even if it wasn't for your headphones, you wouldn't be able to hear one another, but just being able to glance down and see the other diligently working on the next chart-topper gives you both the energy to keep going. Every now and then, one of you will remove your headphones so the other will notice the movement and look at the screen to copy & unmute the call to hear whatever the other has to say. It's often asking the other's opinion on the track being worked on. Or one of you saying you need to go so the call needs to end. Though sometimes, Jihoon will subtly free one of his ears from his noise-cancelling headphones and unmute the call just so he can hear the tapping of you working away mixed with the random pieces of speech when you mumble to yourself as you work. You may not be paying him any attention at this point and he times it purposely so you never know he does it, but it fills his chest with happy warmth, and then he'll remute the call, fix his headphones and get back to work with a content little smile on his face.

[fanficsforheartandsoul]

Happy Ending | Simon "Ghost" Riley x Fem!Reader

Note: This has been ghosting around in my head for some time now because of the song "Wallpaper" by Megan Cromwell. I noticed that whenever I don't have the pressure of a request in the back of my head for a story it's much easier to write. That's why I wrote this rather easily and quickly. I just wanted to post something again lol. So yeah, have some good ol' super dramatic angst. I'll be more active again hopefully.

Fandom: Call of Duty: Modern Warfare II (2022)

Warnings: Angst, Heartbreak, Unrequited Love, Mentions of NSFW Stuff, Trauma, Reader has some Issues

Summary: Ghost wants a happy ending but not with you.

Word Count: ~2k

If you want to be tagged in my stories send me a pm with the fandom/character name! Or comment on the fic :)

Masterlist

Call sign: Vigil

"We can't do this anymore."

You had known from the start that sleeping with him was a bad idea.

Generally, people advise you against sleeping with a co-worker. Because it makes things complicated. Even more complicated when you're both in the military.

Because technically you’re not allowed to fuck, your actions could be clouded by emotions, potentially risking not only your but the lives of your fellow operators as well. But that little clause in your contract was printed in that tiny font, and so you decided to ignore it.

It didn’t stop you from getting involved with your lieutenant. You were never a big fan of rules after all. Your rank as a sergeant after so many years of service in the military said enough about that.

But at the start, you truly believed that a physical relationship with him wouldn't cause trouble to you or anyone else.

You thought you had it under control. At least in the beginning.

Yes, you had been attracted to him since your first meeting when you had signed your contract with Taskforce 141. Mysterious men were your thing, and he embodied such a man with his skull mask.

So yeah, you did allow yourself to daydream about him, and have some dirty thoughts every once in a while. It wasn’t like you were the only one.

You were attracted to him and you knew he was attracted to you. It was mutual and actually pretty obvious.

You could feel his searing gaze on you just a few days after you had joined the taskforce; the way his eyes trailed up and down your body. The looks he gave you were charged with want.

But attraction doesn't necessarily lead to a romantic relationship, right?

He was a good-looking man in your opinion; tall, rugged, buff, with muscles and fat in the right places, just the way you liked it.

His face couldn't be considered conveniently attractive yet that made it so much better for you. The arch in his brows, the dark eyebags, the scars on his cheeks, his cheekbones. He was your type. And his rough appearance fuelled the fire in your lower stomach and your imagination.

What was the harm in joining him in the sheets and having a bit of fun? It wasn't like you loved him.

That’s what you had asked yourself.

It was much better to get rid of your pent-up frustration with him instead of a toy or a rare one-night stand when you were off-duty.  And damn, was he good in bed.

Rough, fast-paced, keen to try out every possible position, and not shy of pleasing you. You could've expected it. He was a man who wasn't afraid to get down and dirty. Dirt, blood, sweat, and other fluids... It didn't matter.

Short summary: It was pure ecstasy every time.

You two had lots of fun together in lots of different positions and locations, and that was all it was. Just some fun.

No strings attached, as you both declared at the start. Just fuckbuddies.

"I'm not a relationship kind of guy, Y/N" he had told you after you had spent your first time together.

You had snorted because shit, you weren't either. Both of you were too broken and bruised by the baggage of your pasts. Your traumas would probably weigh you both down in the long run. So you were fine with the line he had drawn between you.

It was okay. No emotions, no obligations, no lovey-dovey shit, just a means to an end.

Just a meeting in your room after a mission, a phone call on your days off, then a quick meet-up in a hotel. Just pleasure. Not love.

Until it wasn't just that anymore.

You two had settled into a routine where he would join you in your room late every other night.

After you had pleasured each other enough, he would leave soon after, and somehow - with time, you began to miss the warmth next to you on your bed.

The feeling came slowly creeping, and it took you by surprise.

You never asked him to stay; you didn't dare cross the line. To ask for a bit more affection. But you wished.

That he held you just a bit closer during the act. That he remained next to you just for a few more minutes after it. That he kissed your scars, your lips. That he touched you as if you were something, someone precious to him. Someone important.

Sure, you liked it when he treated you like an unbreakable object when his grip left bruises on your body - in a way, they satisfied your need for more. They marked you as his. But just for once, you wanted to be treasured by him. To feel that you meant something more to him.

You didn't know when your feelings for him had turned into a fluttering mess in your chest. He wasn't just a means to an end anymore. You valued him. Not just as a soldier who had your back. Not just as a friend. But as a man, a partner. A man you wanted close to you. For the rest of your life. No matter how long that would be.

Because Simon had done something no one else had been able to do before.

He made you wish. For a future. A future with him.

He made you wish to be better, to be a little less broken. To pick up the pieces that had once made you whole. You wanted to be better. A better version of yourself. For him. To have a chance to be truly happy. To get that fairy tale life others dream about – you once had dreamed about when you were younger, your shoulders lighter.

His attention made you excel, it made you stronger, faster, harder. You were just better when he was around. A better soldier, a better woman, a happier person.

And you thought, no, believed that he understood that. That he helped you to be better. That you needed him. Not just in your bed, but by your side. As your other half.

You both were people of few words, so you thought that through your actions, your eagerness during missions, and your gentle touches during your time together, you conveyed all these feelings. That he got it, saw how you felt about him.

But you never spelled it out. Never said; I've come to love you.

Just let these feelings simmer under your heart, hoping that one day he'd get what you felt for him.

"We can't do this anymore, Vigil."

You'd love to say that it came as a surprise when he, one day, called you to meet up and told you these words.

But you knew subconsciously. Felt it. Long before he actually said the words, they were coming.

His calls had been less frequent, his visits rarer, and to your confusion, his eyes began to look different whenever you saw him. They looked clearer, and happier.

Only after you saw him at the party after your successful operation in Chicago did you understand. He did look happier.

But not because of you.

And only then did you realize that your brain had played a trick on you. You were so consumed by your feelings for him that you didn't realize how big the rift between you two had gotten.

He laughed.

Simon Riley laughed heartily for the first time since you knew him. Not just one of his usual chuckles that he reserved for your or Soap's jokes.

No, true deep laughter that came from deep within his chest.

And all because of a joke that the woman next to him had told him.

You didn't know her; you had never even seen her face before. She was a complete stranger to you, and yet Ghost rested a hand on her hip as if she belonged to him. As if she was his fucking girlfriend.

Soap looked at you, then who you were staring at.

"That's Ghost's new lass, I heard. Can't believe that guy found someone before us, eh? Surprised me too, I tell ya."

His words were like poison, and you tasted bile in your mouth. So much made sense to you now.

"Why not? I thought you liked it?! I enjoy it every time."

"That's not relevant anymore. I'm just telling you, Y/N. This thing is done. I won't come here anymore."

"But-"

"Let's just forget this happened, alright?"

"...."

"Okay."

You hadn't even been able to argue. Or tell him your feelings.

After all, you were the one who said you could never be in a relationship with him or fall in love with him. It was pathetic to get back on your words and admit it in front of him.

So you just shut your mouth and accepted his words for the time being.

A tiny voice in your head whispered that you could tell him your feelings later when he calmed down a bit. When he started to miss you.

You knew the whole situation with Hassan was getting to him and the others, so you cut him some slack. You thought he would change his mind. Believed it. Blindly.

But now, here you were. Looking like a fool. Feeling like one. Being one.

And the thing was, you couldn't even say anything to him.

He was the one who made you happy. Who made you want to be better. Less traumatized, more whole.

You could see in his eyes that she was that to him. Not you.

So, what right did you have to intervene?

You wanted him to be happy, after all.

How could you deny him that? You both had gone through so much.

She seemed to be the complete opposite of you. She basically glowed in the room, her smile radiant, and her aura was light as if the world had blessed her to never know hardship.

Her frame was soft, and her skin unblemished, untainted by the cruelty and darkness that existed in the world.

You couldn't help but compare yourself to her.

Your cracks, the marks of your trauma, made themselves known through various scars on your body. Your hands were rough, covered with old blisters; so unlike hers, and you were all jagged and sharp edges, while she looked so cute and bubbly.

You could see her appeal, and it hurt to think that way, but in another world, in different circumstances, you could see her as your potential friend. She just had the appearance and aura of someone who people gravitated toward. A soothing soul.

In that sense, you could understand Ghost. Why he searched her side. But you fucking hated it.

As lovely as she seemed, right now in this bar; you couldn't help but despise her.

She took him from you.

A voice whispered in your head. The ugliness of that thought made you want to throw up, because didn't it prove that you weren't completely right in the head?

Ghost wasn't your property. He had his own free will, and just because she appeared didn't mean she stole him away.

After all, he never belonged to you anyway.

This was probably why Ghost didn't chose you, you thought to yourself. Your ugly jealousy and possessiveness were rearing their heads.

I wouldn't choose myself either.

You felt like crying, but you couldn't even do that.

You hadn't cried for years now, and although the pain in your heart was worse than any of the bullet wounds you had received during your career, not a single tear welled up in your eyes.

You were truly broken. And the man who could fix you wasn't at your side. He would never be.

You looked at the two of them once more. An ugly thing clawed at your chest, begging to get out. Your vision turned red. You clenched your fists.

You had to get out of here. Now.

"You okay, Vigil?" Soap asked next to you, noticing that you seemed a bit off.

"Yeah. I just- think I didn't turn my stove off. I got to go."

You mumbled before you turned around and hurried to the exit of the bar. Soap tried to protest, but you were out the door before he could even finish his sentence:

"But you just arrived- Damn... off she goes."

He sighed and looked towards that woman and Ghost. They made eye contact. As if Simon was already looking at him. Or you.

[yuri-is-online]

congrats on 500 followers, you deserve it!! ^_^ i adore your writing! for the masquerade event, may i request prompt 11 with trey, jamil and rook? thank you so much!

11. There is a really lovely moon outside tonight that you find yourself admiring, but if you would just turn around you would find someone admiring you.

Annon my lovely annon how does it feel to have such a wonderful beautiful brain, this is perhaps the most perfect line up of characters for this prompt. I'm happy you like my writing and really hope you like this.

notes: they/them used for Yuu, I can't speak French so none of that for Rook, sorry I do not trust google translate. So many references to music in this one... the other event quests can be found on my masterlist.

Trey

If Trey had to pick something about himself he liked he would probably pick his height. It made certain things easier, like walking through crowds and looking at things in the far off distance. It makes these little emotions he has when he sees you easier to deal with, he can always excuse himself and observe from afar. Trey prides himself on being realistic about these sorts of things, prides himself on his restraint and ability to keep things calm.

But it's hard to deny the truth. Painful even. He can feel the ache even before he sees you, his hand even twitches with the desire to reach out and break your reverie. But he can't, you aren't exactly alone, you walked out on to the balcony with Ace and Deuce close at your heels. They're joking with you, distracting you from the moon and stars he thinks you wanted to observe, but you can't seem to bring yourself to be annoyed with them. That's fine, Trey can be annoyed enough for you both. He would never call himself "massive" but he is certainly blessed with a broad set of shoulders.

And an exceptionally creepy (Rook had insisted it was fancy, très magnifique) bird mask that sends the dynamic duo fleeing back to the ballroom "abandoning" you to your fate. He would be tempted to laugh but he does not want to talk to you just yet. You shake your head in amused affection, relaxing onto the railing and letting some of the night's tension roll off your shoulders. He does the same, trying to give you space but not avoiding you when you move closer.

"The moon is beautiful tonight." Trey says after he's let you have your moment, surprised when you turn to him with a flustered look on your face. "That's what you came here to look at, right?" You cough, not helping his certainty but the shy smile that flickers onto your face suggests he has not made a misstep, not exactly anyway.

"It's a nice night." You say. "Stay with me, won't you?" There's emotion to the request he's tempted to read into. Tempted to classify as the same longing he feels and barely swallows when he looks into your eyes.

"I'll stay as long as you like." He says softly, and tries not to smile too much when you lean your head onto his shoulder.

Jamil

He is in love. You look like a ridiculous child and he is in love, Jamil is smiling at every move you make like he is actually happy for once. It's all he can do to pull himself away from his hiding place out to the courtyard you have decided to to stargaze in, as much as he wants to continue admiring you he would rather no one else see him in this horrifying mood.

"When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie~" You are dancing, he thinks, but it looks more like you are jumping trying to catch the moon in your hands, the rest of your silly song devolving into fits of giggles as you twirl, obsessing over the way the fabric of your costume follows you as you twirl. "Jamil!" You notice him the second he joins you, your hands immediately reach out for his. He lets you take him, lets you guide him in a jerky series of movements he knows aren't real dance moves. You're happy, and seeing him has made you happier.

"Just what are you doing?" He's almost laughing himself now, letting you guide him through your made up dance. "Wouldn't you rather be back in the ballroom?" You hum and shake your head.

"It's too busy in there, I wanted to look at the moon." Your dance slows to a gentle sway, Jamil takes advantage of the lull to take control of the flow, guiding you into a more structured dance. The silver light seems to kiss you, as if the moon is happy you came to look at her. Too bad, Jamil doesn't intend to let your attention wander back her way.

"You know, the view of the moon from Scarabia is especially beautiful, perhaps you would like a change of scenery when you're ready to leave." Jamil helps you twirl your costume, doing his best to guide you back towards the ballroom. He might have been spending his time hiding among the furniture of the ballroom, but he had a plan for tonight. One that involved you wrapped around his finger and waltzing well into the hours of the morning, and while he is not exactly picky about where-

He would very much like everyone to see just where you are ending your night.

Rook

The music in the ballroom drowns the tiny hymn that comes from the balcony. Even if anyone else had been looking for it, they would have found it impossible to hear, but Rook is no casual observer. To the casual observer, Rook is merely standing near the windows and their curtains, the Prefect's strange tune barely recognizable even there.

But then recognizable is not the right word. Rook highly doubts anyone in this world other than him had heard this song.

Initially you had walked onto this balcony because Grim had mentioned seeing a piano there earlier and that had struck you as odd. Why stick a piano out on a balcony if there was going to be a ball with live music inside the actual ballroom why stick an instrument out in the cold? You had thought it would look lonely, but the moon has decided to make it look romantic. Seeing no one around you settle yourself at the keys. And begin to try and play along with the tune in your head.

Rook holds himself back from going to you, telling himself to wait until you look his way, but you don't. You are content to sit and pluck at the piano, seeking the keys that match the memory of another world, another moon. He waits and waits, but still you only idly glance up at the night sky, and never his direction.

"What sweet torture," he murmurs into his mask "to be so ignored by such a perfect sight." As the music finds a stride you still hum, to his great relief. The pitch and quality of the melody matters little when observing someone's most private reflections. What matters is the far away look in their eye, the pride with which they rest their finished fingers on the keys and think aloud some words unlikely to be theirs but fitting all the same.

"Their song interweaves melancholy with moonlight, quiet moonlight so sad and lovely that it makes birds dream in their trees, while fountains sob in ecstasy..."* Your eyes finally turn his way and you startle. He pries his mask free from his face to reassure you of your safety; to you, it is like he has appeared from thin air, but you know him well enough that your surprised smile is more a courtesy than genuine surprise.

"Just how long have you been here Rook?" Your fingers twitch with embarrassment at the keys.

"I was lured here the moment you began to sing my lovely trickster." He bows, mask placed over his heart in genuine devotion. "Truly the power the your soul's voice has to command my steps is frightening." You sigh, embarrassment twinged with joy as you move yourself to make room for him by your side.

"Well then why don't you sit next to me and listen to just how badly I can butcher this piece." He very much doubts you could do such a thing, but who is he to deny your every request?

"My Trickster, I would love nothing more save you."

*Clair de Lune, Paul Verlaine 1869, translated by John Argo 2017. As a note to the interested reader, the linked song is named after the poem. I'm rather fond of it as I once owned a music box that played it.

[queerfables]

A dash of nutmeg...

Look I feel a bit like I'm throwing soup at a dart board and calling it analysis, but I have some thoughts about Aziraphale's magic words in episode 4, and it's going to kill me if I don't share.

The thing is, these words have been nagging at me since I heard them. They sounded familiar, and I've been trying to figure out why. Today, it finally clicked.

Banana. Fish. Gorilla.

Those initial three words are all key words from Crowley and Aziraphale's drunken conversation about Armageddon. It's right at the start of things, when Crowley convinces Aziraphale to help him stop the world from ending.

We'll start with the fish, because they come up first.

"The point I'm trying to make," [Crowley] said, brightening, "is the dolphins. That's my point." "Kind of fish," said Aziraphale.

Their entire exchange here is hilarious and iconic but I'll try to keep this to the point. After some banter about the difference between fish and mammals, Crowley argues that dolphins don't deserve to be caught in the crossfire when the kraken rises and the seas boil. Which conveniently brings us to:

"Same with gorillas. Whoops, they say, sky gone all red, stars crashing to ground, what they putting in the bananas these days?"

Banana. Fish. Gorilla. It got me curious, so I searched for other places these words show up in the book. There's nothing I think is really significant: a couple of things are described as banana flavoured, fish show up in rains that herald the impending doomsday, gorillas aren't ever mentioned again. If I'm on the right track at all, I think this part is here to signpost a connection between this string of words from the show and the specific moments in the book.

If that's true, it must be pointing to something. What's left? Shoe lace and nutmeg.

Shoe lace.

The word "shoelace" isn't actually in Good Omens. Neither is "shoe lace" with a space in between. There's a couple of unremarkable descriptions involving shoes, and one miraculously conjured lace handkerchief, and then - and then. Right at the very end of the story, we have Adam, grounded by his parents, being described as "a scruffy Napoleon with his laces trailing, exiled to a rose-trellissed Elba". It's tenuous. I could dismiss that as nothing. Except Adam's laces show up again, and it's the very last passage of the book.

If you want to imagine the future, imagine a boy and his dog and his friends. And a summer that never ends. And if you want to imagine the future, imagine a boot . . . no, imagine a sneaker, laces trailing, kicking a pebble; imagine a stick, to poke at interesting things, and throw for a dog that may or may not decide to retrieve it; imagine a tuneless whistle, pounding some luckless popular song into insensibility; imagine a figure, half angel, half devil, all human . . . Slouching hopefully towards Tadfield . . . . . . forever.

I'm not ready to say much about what I think the significance of this passage might be. But an allusion to the book's ending does feel significant, doesn't it?

The one thing I will say, for people who may not know, is that this passage is riffing on a line from Orwell's 1984. The line it's playing on is a lot darker: "If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face – for ever." I think it's probably relevant that this is referencing a book about a totalitarian regime. I also think it's probably relevant that it's taking that reference and twisting it into something much sweeter, more optimistic and empowered.

I'm still thinking through all the connections and implications, though.

Nutmeg.

And that brings us to "nutmeg". I have to be honest, I wasn't hopeful. I didn't remember any references to it and if I were betting, I wouldn't have put money on it appearing in the book at all. But the word does show up, and it shows up exactly once. Crowley is reminiscing about a cocktail he had once, made out of fermented date-palms. It's part of a conversation with Aziraphale, where they discuss losing the Antichrist. And here's the really interesting part:

"You said it was him!" moaned Aziraphale, abstractedly picking the final lump of cream-cake from his lapel. He licked his fingers clean. "It was him," said Crowley. "I mean, I should know, shouldn't I?" "Then someone else must be interfering." "There isn't anyone else! There's just us, right? Good and Evil. One side or the other." He thumped the steering wheel. "You'll be amazed at the kind of things they can do to you, down there," he said. "I imagine they're very similar to the sort of things they can do to one up there," said Aziraphale. "Come off it. Your lot get ineffable mercy," said Crowley sourly. "Yes? Did you ever visit Gomorrah?" "Sure," said the demon. "There was this great little tavern where you could get these terrific fermented date-palm cocktails with nutmeg and crushed lemongrass-" "I meant afterwards." "Oh."

Book Aziraphale differs from his characterisation in the show in a few ways, and this is the big one. In the book, Aziraphale is much more cynical about his own side, and much more aware of heaven's flaws. Here, he's convincing Crowley that the threat heaven poses is just as serious as any threat from hell.

If I'm right about any of this, if these nonsense words mean anything at all, I think they are saying that heaven and hell are two sides of the same very nasty coin, and more to the point, that maybe Aziraphale is more aware of it than he seems.

I need to think about this more, still. I'm not sure if I really think this connection is something, and if it is, I'm still figuring out what sorts of conclusions we might draw from it. But if the script is trying to point us to these three sections of the book, maybe there's a deeper analysis to be had here.

I do think it's interesting that the last two words each only show up in one section of the book. It's not like I'm skipping around trying to decide which passage involving shoe laces is most relevant - it shows up twice, only in the last few pages of the book and only in relation to Adam (and in particular, humanising Adam. He's Napoleon in exile, but he's a kid with trailing laces. His future isn't a boot stamping on a human face, it's a sneaker with those same trailing laces - and a stick that his dog can choose whether or not to chase).

I could talk myself in circles on this point, so I guess I've got to open it up to the floor. Am I making something out of nothing with this? Or do you think there could be something here?

[diazsdimples]

"It makes my stomach churn!"+ Buddie

"It makes my stomach churn," Buck whines as he and Eddie wait in line for Space Mountain.

It's their first time at Disney together, and Buck had been a ball of excitement all day. They'd started off the day with some of the smaller rides, easing their way into it. Buck's never been particularly great with motion sickness - part of the reason why Eddie was skeptical about bringing him in the first place - but he'd sworn up and down that he would be fine.

Clearly, he was not fine.

Eddie pinches the bridge of his nose as he sighs.

"If it makes you feel sick then maybe we shouldn't ride it?" he suggests, perfectly aware of the answer that awaits him.

"But look how fun it looks!" Buck exclaims. The line shuffles forwards, bringing the two closer to the front and further away from the relative safety of the sidewalk.

Eddie runs a hand soothingly over the back of Buck's neck.

"Cleaning up your puke isn't fun, though," he points out. "And it's going to be even less fun if you throw up on me."

"Then I shall aim somewhere else,"

Eddie rolls his eyes but he can't hide the smile that is quirking at his lips. Buck's survived thus far, and there's a reason they've been hitting the rides before eating, but he's not exactly sure he wants to chance it.

"Alternatively, we could just call time of death on this one and go to It's a Small World instead?"

Buck quirks an eyebrow. Eddie has expressed his distaste for that song on a number of occasions, and had even banned it from the house when Buck taught Christopher all the words and terrorised the poor man with never-ending renditions. For him to suggest that as a plan of action, he must be desperate.

"Eddie, baby, I promise I'll be fine," he reassures, turning so they're facing one another and rubbing his hands over Eddie's lower arms. "Just this one ride, and then we can go do some tamer things,"

Eddie searches Buck's face for any sign that the other man is lying. He seems earnest enough, and while the nauseous look is still prominent, there is a certain determination in his eyes.

"Please," Buck adds. He leans in close to Eddie, their noses brushing, and lowers his voice to a whisper. "I'll let you fuck me in the shower when we get home,"

A thrill goes through Eddie at the thought, and he pulls Buck in for a brief, chaste kiss.

"Well why didn't you lead with that?"

Buck insists on sitting up the front, because of course he does, and Eddie's very glad he bought some of those plastic ponchos. The benches are wet, so they're going to have to change their pants as it is, but they're saved from being affected by the constant tidal waves of water that spill over the front of the log.

It's actually quite a nice ride, and Buck seems to be enjoying himself well enough. His knuckles aren't white as he holds onto the bar in front of them, and he's even got a smile on his face as he points out all the vaguely creepy animatrons on the side.

Unfortunately, it's the final big drop that proves to be his undoing.

Buck hates freefalls. Any kind of stomach drop and he's gone. It's part of the reason Eddie's never manged to convince him to go skydiving.

Buck is pale faced and tight lipped as they get off the ride, and he makes a fast beeline for the exit, Eddie losing sight of him for a moment.

He finds his boyfriend sitting on a bench not too far from the ride, lips pressed firmly together and breathing heavily through his nose.

"You good there, pal?" Eddie asks with probably a bit too much glee as he settles himself next to Buck.

Buck's jaw clenches as he swallows, and his face is so pinched and tight that it's a wonder the blood is still getting through to his cheeks.

"Just peachy,"

Eddie rubs his back in what he hopes is a soothing manner.

"You want some water or something?"

"No," Buck's answer is short and clipped. "I want to sit here and not move for a minute,"

"Okay,"

Eddie's happy to wait, really. The sun's out, it's warm and pleasant, and the park is full of interesting characters milling about. It's a good opportunity for people watching. He fishes a container of mint's out of the front of their backpack and hands it to Buck, who quickly opens it and shoves his whole nose in, deeply breathing in the minty smell.

"You know, most people eat them, rather than sniff them," Eddie comments with amusement.

"Shut up or I'll throw up on you," comes Buck's muffled response.

Eddie holds up his hands in mock surrender. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry. Sniff away."

It takes another couple of minutes for Buck's stomach to calm down, during which time Eddie counts 5 annoyed looking husbands in matching tracksuits, 7 harried mothers with large broods of unruly children, and an endless stream of excited children running around like madmen.

"Feeling better?" Eddie asks as Buck stretches out, popping a mint in his mouth.

"Much. Shall we continue?"

Eddie looks at his watch. It's getting late and honestly, both his and Buck's energy is waning. He imagines Buck will only be able to stomach one more ride before things actually go pear shaped.

He rests his hand on Buck's arm, thumb moving back and forth in soothing motions. "How about we go pick up some dinner and go home. We've still got a few more hours until Christopher gets back from Pepa's, we could watch a movie or play a game or something,."

Buck visibly relaxes at the suggestion. "That sounds like a great idea," he agrees, resting his head on Eddie's shoulder. The relief is palpable in his voice, but Eddie knows Buck would never have been the one to say enough is enough. He wouldn't want to feel as though he was subtracting from Eddie's fun.

"Come on," Eddie says as he stands, offering his hand out to Buck. "Let's go find ourselves some dinner and go home."

Buck takes the offered hand and hauls himself to his feet, leaning against Eddie's side.

"Sounds like a plan."

[reilleclan-blog]

The Duality of Love in Cyberpunk 2077

I find it interesting how a decent amount of ppl compare Songbird and V to Johnny and Alt's relationship b/c of them being netrunners and V and Johnny both defying big authoritative figures to save someone they love. Or care for(usually when I say the word love I mean care for) anyways. Which I agree but I started to think of Rogue and Johnny's relationship.

Johnny was straight up cruel to Rogue maybe their relationship wasn't the best or they had other "terms" during their relationship but for the most part, Johnny was not a "good lover". He cheated on Rogue I think Alt as well? And yeah he was mostly selfish throughout their relationship. Even though in the game Alt says "Johnny can alter his memories" it's funny how V is still shown how much a bastard Johnny is. Not like he ever tried to hide it really.

But, so Johnny showed Rogue time and time again that he was a "bad person" or specifically a "bad lover" but everytime Johnny had some bullshit cooked up he always went to Rogue for help. Even when Rogue protested against the things they did, she still decided to help him through and through. Also during the raid on arasaka(ending) with Rogue, Johnny can leave Wayland(to basically die) Rogue gets upset at Johnny but (in a way still sounds like how she did in the past) rages at him but still fights with/for him. Later on Johnny will blame Smasher for Wayland's death (but if he had helped Wayland, he wouldn't have died)

Basically, Rogue put up so much bullshit to help Johnny no matter what it was. Interesting way to be loved/show ur love. Rogue was emotionally manipulated but still always put her life on the line to help Johnny. And he was probably the last person she should've helped but she did it anyways out of love or eddies?(mostly love). But with V and Song, Song lies to V(Song is betraying V's trust) and at the same time, V can do the same thing to Songbird BUT they both still had the choice to protect one another. Whether it was V still sending Songbird to the moon or Songbird still deciding to protect V from dying by some Raging AI. Johnny just takes and takes and even 50years later he's "changed" but can still be a fucking bastard in the end and Rogue pays the price. Diving in head first to save someone she loves. And possibly redeem herself as well.

And Johnny rushing into arasaka Tower to "save" Alt, I honestly felt like he did it for Alt but genuinely it was more for his ego? Rogue calls him out on it? And I think I agree. He could never let shit go, and in a way it felt like Alt's death was used as an excuse to blow shit up(taking shit to the extreme or to prove to himself that he was worth arasaka's time💀). I have no doubt in my mind he loved Alt but did he love her the "right" way, never. It made me think what if Johnny wasn't such an asshole and he decided to pay attention to his gf could she have actually ASKED for his help.

He claimed Songbird only got to the moon cause of "luck" but really she had support SOMEONE THAT LOVED HER AND BELIEVED IN HER. Helping, If only he could've been there for Alt maybe both of them could've had a "happier" ending. Songbird had V with her to the very end. Whereas Alt was alone and Johnny was too.

-

Idk I might've been all over the place with this but I really wanted to talk about it. I love this series so hopefully no one takes this shit to heart lol I'm just saying. I wonder. Uhh take care

I didn't know what to title this, maybe I'll change it. Edit: The Duality of love in cyberpunk? (Is that a good title?) asking for a friend if anyone has an enny to spare , I'm seeking financial assistance ty

[misc-obeyme]

unchained - chapter five

masterpost read the chapter on ao3

recommended music: Send Me On My Way by Guy Meets Girl word count: 3163

GN!MC x Arsenios [demon OC] a/n: This is mostly fluff, but we do get a glimpse of some of Arrie's bandmates! And learn a little more about him, too. I apologize in advance for the level of cheese. Things get a little dicey next chapter, though. (Also if you recognize the first part of this, it's because I shared it as a preview on Arrie's birthday back in March. :3) Warnings: none

A few days later you were in your bed, staring up at the darkened ceiling. Your mind was whirring, your thoughts steadily tumbling over each other. You wanted to rest, to shut your eyes, and sleep. And yet, for some reason, you couldn't.

You sighed. You rolled over in bed and picked up your D.D.D. hoping something there could distract you.

You were going to scroll through Devilgram, but you accidentally opened your contacts instead. You saw Arsenios's name there, new among your list.

Your finger hovered over the send message option. It was late. He was probably asleep, like you should be. And it wasn't like you guys were close enough that you could just text him in the middle of the night.

And yet…

Your mind was a little cloudy from exhaustion, so you went ahead and sent a message anyway. You'd deal with any consequences later.

MC: Hey, are you still awake? Or do you have a normal sleep schedule?

What a dorky thing to say. You didn't care because you were tired and your brain was not fully functioning. You just needed to talk to someone.

Sure, you could have sent a message to any one of the brothers. Actually, you could have just left your room and talked to them in person. Levi was certainly still awake and a good gaming session might even be something that could help. Lucifer might still be awake, too, but you were far more likely to encounter a lecture from him. But for some reason, you didn't want to do any of that.

Your phone vibrated and you nearly dropped it in surprise.

Arsenios: What's sleep? Is that a human thing?

You rolled your eyes. Now you felt a little less like a dork because you were clearly talking to someone who was even more of one than you were.

MC: Ha ha, very funny. So you are awake.

Arsenios: I am now. Did you forget to do your curses and hexes homework for tomorrow? Because if that's why you're texting me, I regret to inform you that I didn't do it either.

MC: No, unlike you I actually care about school. I know better than to think you've done any homework ever.

Arsenios: That's a relief. I wouldn't want to be known for doing homework. So what's up? Everything okay?

You paused for a moment. Was he worried about you? You shook your head. You were being silly.

MC: Nothing, really. I just can't sleep, that's all.

Arsenios: I can do something about that. Hang on.

You read this last message in confusion. You stared at the screen for a moment, not sure how to respond, when it scared you to death by ringing in your hand. Arsenios's name flashed across the screen.

He was calling you?

You swiped to answer because what else could you do?

"Um, hello?" you said.

"Hey," Arsenios said. "Sorry to just call you out of nowhere like that, but I can't help you sleep if you can't hear me."

"What are you talking about?" you asked.

There was the soft strum of guitar strings on the other line.

"Have you already forgotten?" His tone was amused. "I can sing you to sleep."

You stared at the phone for a minute. "What?"

He laughed, a soft rolling sound. "My power, remember? If you're having trouble sleeping, it would be easy for me to put a little magic into my song to help you fall asleep. Is that okay?"

Your cheeks heated up and you were glad he couldn't see you. At least he asked this time. You thought about it. It would be nice if you could just sleep right now. "Okay. But if I fall asleep…"

"Don't worry," Arsenios said. "I'll hang up. I won't hear you snoring or talking in your sleep."

You snorted. “You’d like to listen to my sleep talk, wouldn’t you?”

Arsenios sighed dramatically. “Guilty. But I’ll be good and disconnect the call. Just get comfortable and tell me when you're ready.”

You readjusted yourself so that you were in your favorite sleeping position, keeping your D.D.D. beside you on the pillow.

"Okay," you said. "I'm ready."

"Sweet dreams, MC," Arsenios said.

He started to play the guitar before you could respond. Then he was singing something soft and sweet. You hadn't heard it before, so you figured it was a Devildom song of some kind. It was mellow and quiet. The baritone of his voice easily rising and falling with the notes. It was hard to believe this was the same voice that had been practically growling on stage with the band. Right now it was smooth and gentle, the acoustic hum of the guitar strings mingling perfectly.

Soon enough, your eyes began to drift closed. You felt yourself falling into a restful slumber. It was like you were wrapped up in the song's melody, held close and kept warm. Your dreams were mild and pleasant.

-

When you woke the next day, your D.D.D. was beside you, but the screen was dark. You felt as though you had the best sleep of your life. You had an energy you didn't normally feel in the mornings, a sparkling through your skin.

You picked up your D.D.D. and saw a message was waiting for you.

Arsenios: If you ever can't sleep again, just call me.

Although the time on this text was from last night, you decided to send him a message back anyway.

MC: Thank you. I've never felt so rested before.

To your surprise, there was a response almost immediately.

Arsenios: You owe me. :)

MC: What? I didn't know there was a fee!

Arsenios: Are you free tomorrow night?

MC: Maybe. Why?

Arsenios: I'll consider us even if you come to the Crimson Street plaza tomorrow. The band was hired by the Cafe Association to play an acoustic set.

MC: All right. I'll be there. But couldn't you have told me about this in curses and hexes today?

Arsenios: Nah, I gotta stay home and practice for the set tomorrow. :)

MC: You're such a slacker. How have you not been expelled for all the school you miss?

Arsenios: It helps to be friends with student council members.

You couldn't argue with that. You thought about the brothers and wondered if they would cover for you if you decided you just didn't feel like going to school. Maybe if Lucifer wasn't such a stickler, you knew the rest would support you.

MC: Well, I'll miss seeing you in class.

There was a long pause and you thought Arsenios was probably not going to respond. So you got up and started to get ready for the day. But then your D.D.D. buzzed.

Arsenios: I'll see you in class, MC.

You laughed. It was just like when the brothers said they wouldn't go somewhere, but changed their tune as soon as they found out you were going. It was endearing.

MC: Oh you changed your mind? Why?

Arsenios: I want to see you.

Your heart skipped a beat. The response had come quickly and without hesitation. You had been trying to tease him, to put him on the spot, make him come up with some excuse about why he changed his mind so suddenly. Instead, he told you the truth like it was no big deal.

What did you even say in response to that?

MC: I wasn't expecting you to admit it…

Arsenios: Sorry. I'm only subtle when it comes to my magic.

You considered your next question carefully. You were going to be seeing him in person soon enough, but you were hoping for more of that honesty.

MC: Why are you interested in me at all?

Arsenios: Why did you start listening to me play the piano in an empty room?

You understood his point. He might not have cared about you at all except that you consistently crept into the dance hall at RAD to listen to him play. It was clearly something he did just for himself and you had shared it with him multiple times, even if neither of you acknowledged the other there in the darkness.

MC: Fair enough. I'll see you in class.

Arsenios: See you soon, MC.

You tried to focus on getting ready again, but your mind was going over everything that had happened. You wondered if you would be embarrassed by the fact that this demon had sung you to sleep last night. Somehow, you didn't think you would be when you saw him again. It had been his idea after all.

Anyway, you would be doing your best to forget all about this conversation.

-

It was a beautiful night in the Devildom. The stars were twinkling brightly, the moon a waning crescent in the sky.

Arsenios was watching the people passing by on Crimson Street while his bandmates set up behind him. He knew he should be helping, but he was a bit distracted. He couldn't stop watching for you, wondering if you would be alone or if you would feel the need to bring someone with you.

He had seen you in hexes and curses earlier that day, of course. But unsurprisingly, you had been occupied with the demon brothers that also shared that class with you.

Arsenios had noticed the way you looked up at him and smiled softly when he entered the classroom. He noticed the way you looked fresh and well rested. He noticed the way you seemed to be glancing over at him throughout the lecture. He noticed your disapproving frown when you realized he hadn't even bothered to bring his textbook.

He wasn't complaining. It was nice just to be near you. But he thought if you came alone tonight that he might have the opportunity to talk to you in person.

"C'mon, Arrie," someone said nearby him. "I need your help. Chymion is getting all the wires tangled again."

"Okay, Liv," Arsenios said, responding to his bandmate Liviana even though his eyes remained on the street.

Arsenios didn't move. He couldn't bring himself to look away.

He sensed Liviana had come over to stand beside him, her long blond hair catching the periphery of his vision.

"That human you're obsessed with will be here when they get here," Liviana said. "In the meantime, we're really having trouble with the wires and you know what'll happen if you don't take them away from Chymion."

"I got it!" Chymion's voice called from somewhere behind them.

Arsenios didn't need to look to know that Chymion was likely wrapped up in the wires himself at that point.

"I know," Arsenios said. "I just-"

He cut off because suddenly, there you were. Arsenios reached out subconsciously to grip Liviana's arm.

"Finally," she said. "They're here now, so can you please focus?"

Arsenios watched as you looked around, spotted him, and smiled. He let go of Liviana's arm to smile back and give you a friendly wave.

You waved briefly before sitting down at one of the many tables the Cafe Association had set up in the plaza. A server came to your side immediately and gave you one of their special event menus.

Arsenios forced himself to turn away and was confronted with a frowning Liviana, her arms crossed, her black eyes sparking with annoyance.

Arsenios ran a hand through his hair. "Sorry," he said. "I'll get Chymion untangled."

"I'm doing great!" Chymion called. A quick glance revealed that he was not, in fact, doing great.

"Chymion, your claws!" Arsenios said, dashing over to prevent Chymion's claws from slicing through any delicate equipment.

Arsenios was effectively distracted helping his bandmates get all the equipment set up for some time. He had no chance to glance back at you while he was occupied with them.

He was finally able to sit down on his guitar stool by a mic, his acoustic in his hands, and look out at the tables. A few people were looking over at the band, but most people weren't paying attention.

Arsenios found your eyes looking right into his.

It was a good set - the band played a lot of soft sweet acoustic songs. Arsenios sang quietly, backed up in places by Lael and Liviana. Their music filtered gently through the plaza, earning scattered applause after each song.

You stayed at your table, sipping at the drink you had ordered and nibbling on some kind of pastry.

After an hour of playing, the band took a break. They'd start again soon, but in the meantime, Arsenios made his way directly toward your table.

He put a hand on the chair across from you. "Is this seat taken?"

You gestured at it vaguely. "Be my guest."

Arsenios smiled and sat down. "You look well rested," he said.

You shrugged. "Magic will do that. I saw that you didn't even bring your textbook to class."

"I didn't need it," Arsenios said. "I wasn't there for the lecture."

He was pleased at the way you flushed slightly. He leaned back in the chair and folded his arms. He was fighting the desire to reach across the table and take your hand.

Why was he so fascinated by you? Was it really because of the way you always slipped into the empty dance hall to listen to him play? Or was there something else that drew him to you? Your humanity? The sparkle in your eyes? The reputation you had for enchanting demons?

When Arsenios was being honest with himself about it, he had to ask himself if it was because he felt guilty about all the human lives he had hastened to their deaths. Here you were, alive and thriving, a human he never needed to make a pact with. A human he could simply know without any other intentions.

A human that had arrived in his world, rather than summoning him to theirs.

"Can I ask you a question?"

Arsenios focused back on you. Your eyes were on the table, your fingers fidgeting with each other on the edge of it.

"Sure," he said.

You kept your eyes down as you said, "Why don't you like Solomon? Is it because he wants to make a pact with you?"

Arsenios laughed and that caused you to look up in surprise. "Sorry," he said. "I didn't mean to laugh. It's just that most demons don't like Solomon for that exact reason. Don't get me wrong. I respect him. He's an immortal sorcerer with seventy-two pacts. You can't take a guy like that lightly. But it's also a little off putting for a demon, you know?"

"Huh. I guess I didn't think about it that way," you said.

Arsenios shrugged. "Well, he's your teacher, isn't he? You're used to it. And I'm sure the demons you spend your time with are, too. But for the rest of us…"

"I thought maybe it was specific to you," you admitted with a little frown. "You just seem to be… anti-pact."

Arsenios didn't say anything right away. He couldn't exactly deny it, could he? He was anti-pact. And there were a lot of reasons why. Could he even begin to try to explain it to you in a way that wouldn't tear him apart? He had too much history that he didn't want to share with you. Not now. Maybe never.

"You're not wrong," he said at last. "I'm not a fan of pacts."

"I don't understand," you said. "Lucifer said you spent a lot of time making pacts. Barbatos seemed to imply something similar, though it's hard to tell with him. If you used to make pacts before, how come you don't now?"

"I'm retired," Arsenios said, easily. It was an automatic response. It was what he always said when someone asked about his past. And they always did. Other demons knew about his reputation.

You squinted at him. "Just how old are you anyway? Lucifer called you ancient."

Arsenios scoffed. "He's one to talk."

"So? You're millions of years old, too?" you asked.

"I… don't remember how old I am," Arsenios said and he was surprised that he was so truthful with you. "I'm younger than Barbatos, if that means anything."

You seemed to consider this for a moment. Then you asked, "What about Solomon?"

"Older than Solomon," Arsenios said.

"Wow and he's pretty old," you said. "Do you remember what was happening in the human world when you retired?"

"It wasn't as long ago as you might think," Arsenios said. "I've only been retired for a little while, relatively speaking. I think it was in a decade that humans refer to as the forties."

"Oh!" you exclaimed. "More recent than I expected!"

"I told you," Arsenios said.

"And you've just stayed in the Devildom ever since?" you asked. "Or do you go back to the human world sometimes?"

"I haven't been back to the human world since then," Arsenios said. "I'm happy enough to play gigs here in the Devildom."

You suddenly met his eyes and smiled. "You guys sound really good here tonight. After the show you put on with Angel's Temptation before, I wasn't sure what to expect. But you can play any type of music, huh?"

Arsenios felt his skin heat up, a reaction to your fond regard that flustered him so badly he nearly choked. He forced himself to take in a deep breath. "We're known for our ability to adapt," he said.

"I really liked that song without words," you said. "The one that was kind of in the middle of the others."

Arsenios felt his heart stop for a moment. "I'm still working on that one," he said slowly. "I haven't written any words for it yet."

"Do you write all the music?" you asked.

Arsenios felt himself relax again as the conversation moved on to safer ground. "No," he admitted. "I write a lot of it, but my bandmates are quite talented too. A lot of times we each write the parts of our own instruments. It's a group effort."

"How long will you be playing tonight?" you asked.

Arsenios looked at his D.D.D. for the time. "Probably another hour or so. But you can go home now if you need to. I know Lucifer is probably pretty protective of you. I'll still consider us even."

He watched as you flushed again, remembering the way he sang you to sleep through your D.D.D.

"Thanks again for your help," you said. Your voice was quiet, but you held his gaze.

Arsenios smiled. "It was my pleasure," he said and he meant it. "I'm happy to help you out any time."

"I'd like to stay for the rest," you said. "Lucifer won't mind."

"If you're sure," Arsenios said. He ran a hand through his hair. "I'll walk you home after."

"I'd like that," you said with a smile.

Arsenios found himself thinking that he would do just about anything to make sure you were always smiling.

masterpost | chapter four | chapter six

taglist: @avalordream @lonely-north-star @expressionless-fr @featheredcrowbones @pumpkinsareamazing @szired comment to be added or removed!

masterlist | Thank you for reading!

[braveclementine]

Chapter 3

Warnings: None. (Will however be a 18+ reader book)

Copyright: I do not own any Marvel characters or locations. However, I do own a few OCs like Elizabeth, Katherine, Stacy, and Jessie. I do not condone any copying of this.

"Seriously, where were you?" Your sister demanded, arms crossed, looking down at your slumped frame against the door.

"It's a long story. Like a long, long story." You muttered, getting your feet, trudging past your younger sister to get to the kitchen, "What's for dinner?"

"I thought you came home from work early?" Y/S/N scrutinized.

You sighed. "I did. Then I went for a week. I mean a walk. And I met my soulmates."

"All of them?" Y/S/N asked incredulously.

You nodded.

"So why are you so glum? Was it to painful hearing all of their names at once?"

"Am I glum?" You questioned in surprise. "I'm not unhappy. . . just surprised and a little overwhelmed."

"Do you like them?" Y/S/N asked.

"Oh yeah, they're great." You responded, trying to figure out how you would categorize them. "Everyone likes them."

"Who are they?"

"The Avengers."

Silence.

She snorted, "Y/N-"

You sighed, holding your arm out. "Spider-Man dropped me off."

Silence again.

"How much do they know about you?" She asked.

"Nothing. And I know nothing about them."

"Oh, well I got a song that could help with that. It's called We didn't start the fire. It's a lovely little song, lets you know small tidbits about the superheroes."

"Ah." You muttered.

"So, who all did you get?"

She sat down across from you, taking your arm into her hands. "Oh my God Thor? Lucky bitch. Oh my God and Tony Stark and the King of Wakanda and Steve Rogers? Oh, but you got Loki and Bucky though."

"They're not that bad." You said with a frown. "Loki was actually very. . . sweet."

"He tried to take over Earth."

"Minor character flaw?"

"And Bucky is a trained assassin!"

"Because HYDRA messed with his brain." You pointed out. "Not him himself."

"Mm, fair enough. Are you sure you'll be okay around them though?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" You felt your feathers being ruffled slightly as your younger sister had a go at some of your soulmates.

"I'm just saying, some of them are dangerous. And they work in a dangerous line of business. If the wrong people found out that you were half- probably more than half- of the Avengers soulmates, you could be a target!"

"It's not like I have a choice!" You snapped. "They're my soulmates and that's that. I can't change it. I can't just walk away from it. Alright? I would give anything to be normal and have just one, maybe two soulmates. You know I've always covered these up. You know I've never wanted an entire freaking orgy of soulmates!"

"Alright, chill girl." Y/S/N said. "I'm just saying, you're going to have to be prepared. It's not everyday you find out your soulmate is the King of Wakanda."

"Right." You murmured.

"And for dinner, Y/S/BF/N (Your sister's boyfriend's name) and I are going out for dinner." your sister finished. "You're welcome to join us, of course."

Though they were married, she wasn't quite eighteen yet and wasn't allowed to move in with him until she turned of age. However, if soulmates found their mate before eighteen they were allowed to get married at the earliest age of sixteen. However, they had to be eighteen to live together.

And the reason that we weren't with our parents was because. . . well that's a whole other story.

"I'll cook." You yawned, not even sure if you were hungry.

"Alright." She said, dancing out of her chair and heading for the front hallway, "See you when I get home."

The door closed behind her.

You sighed, getting out of your chair to pad into the kitchen. Opening the cupboards and refrigerator, you went easy on yourself and threw together a small meal of Y/F/F.

*Meanwhile at the Avengers Compound*

Tony, Stephen, Thor, Loki, Steve, Bucky, Sam, Clint, T'Challa, Rhodey, and Fury all sat in a large living room like room.

"I can't believe we all have the same soulmate." Rhodey sighed. He was very simple, liked everything simple. He would've been pleased to have a soulmate that was with him and him alone. He'd always liked having only one band. Just the two of them and a family. Well, now things were just slightly- a lot- complicated.

Tony rested his chin on Stephen's shoulder, "I'm not sure why you're surprised. We've all seen each other's wrists everyday. We all knew we'd have the same soulmate. The colours always changed at the same time and everything."

"We'll have to keep an eye on her." Fury said, always in survival mode. "Make sure that she's a safe person to have around, and make sure that she's never in danger."

"You worry to much." Clint said.

"Why don't we just invite her into the tower?" Steve asked. "We have plenty of rooms upstairs."

"We did just meet her. . . six hours ago." Loki deadpanned. "I doubt she'll be highly receptive to move in so early."

"I'm already planning weddings in my head." Thor announced happily, munching on a pop tart.

Loki groaned, putting his head in his hand. "To fast, much to fast."

"We could all just spend some one-on-one time with her, or as groups." T'Challa suggested. "Stephen and Tony. The three of you. Thor and Loki. Clint and Rhodey. Fury and I. That way we're not overwhelming her with to many people that she needs to get to know. And we can also get to know her better than if all twelve of us tried to get to know her at the same time."

"That's a good idea." Sam said, shrugging.

"I'm more worried about your guys wedding." A new voice said from the doorway. Dr. Banner stood, leaning in the doorway.

"Come again?" Rhodey asked.

Bruce sighed, walking forward, folding his glasses up to stick in his pocket, "For example, Nat and I. When we got married, she got a bit of my hulk strength and in return, I got some of her flexibility. We have two gods, two super soldiers, and one immortal here. I don't know how exactly that'll work on her body. Not to mention, the fact that Fury is bonded to Agent Hill means that she will get something from Agent Hill as well, even though they're not bonded. Like how Fury got a trait from Coulson even though they aren't bonded, because Coulson and Hill are bonded."

"Is there even a way to make sure she doesn't get our more. . . dangerous traits?" Bucky asked quietly, his metal hand clenching into a fist.

"It's random." Bruce said with a shake of his head. "You'll just have to wish luck. It's not like you can put it off, you know. You have one year to court her and a second year to get the wedding together. Especially since she's over the age of eighteen."

"This is exhausting." Rhodey grumbled.

"I also agree with Steve." Bruce continued, putting his hands into his pockets, "It would be much safer for her to move into the Compound or the Tower, whichever you guys feel you'd rather live at."

"Let's invite her over tomorrow!" Tony said enthusiastically, practically bouncing up and down where he sat. Stephen flicked his ear lightly. "Knock it off."

"I say we go with T'Challa's idea." Stephen said simply. "Start with one of the groups tomorrow."

"Yeah, she takes the taxi to work so I could drive her." Tony said enthusiastically.

Rhodey groaned, "I don't even want to know how you know she takes the taxi to work."

"Well, it is New York." Sam pointed out. "Almost everyone takes Taxis or subways. It's a pain to try and drive your own car."

"Yes! Stephen and I will drive her tomorrow!" Tony said, bouncing again.

Bruce cleared his throat as Stephen flicked Tony's ear again, "You should go in reverse order of meeting her. So Stephen and Loki could take her to work tomorrow."

Everyone stared at Bruce.

"You want me to work with the guy who made me fall for thirty minutes?" Loki questioned.

"Sure." Bruce said with a shrug. "Or it can be Stephen and Fury and then you and Thor. But as she's already spent a bit of time with King T'Challa and Tony, well it's probably a good idea to start with those she barely met. That way you aren't starting off with supposed favoritism."

"That makes sense." Steve said, stroking Bucky's hair.

"Well, I'm glad that's settled." Nick said, getting up out of the chair he'd been sitting in. "See you at the next meeting. Don't die."

"Cheerful." Clint muttered before moving away to probably go and sleep in the vents.

The others dispersed accordingly.

*Next Day*

There was a knock on the door as you put the finishing touches to your makeup, getting ready for work. A white blouse covered about half of your lines, showing about four of them. A knee-length black skirt and your heels were somewhere in the front hallway, only to be put on last minute.

You hurried down the hallway- your sister having already left for school- opening the door which revealed a rather comfortable looking Stephen Strange wearing blue jeans, a red T-shirt, and a black suit jacket you swore probably belonged to Tony. And also a rather uncomfortable looking Loki who was dressed in the same black outfit as yesterday.

"Oh." You said in obvious surprise, not expecting two of your soulmates you'd met for about a minute and twelve seconds standing on your doorstep. "Er- come in."

"Do you normally let strangers into your house?" Loki asked as they stepped inside. You'd headed back down the hallway to put the makeup case away.

"Only charming ones." You called over your shoulder without looking back.

"I like her." Loki snickered.

You blushed as you shoved everything away before shutting off the bathroom.

"Sorry, but I am on my way to work." You said apologetically.

"We know, we're here to take you there." Stephen said with a shrug. "Thought you'd prefer it to spending money on a taxi or a subway ticket."

"Thank you." You said. "Lead the way then."

You shut off the lights in the apartment, wishing it was just slightly cleaner before you met Loki and Stephen back at the front door.

"We spoke as a group last night." Stephen said as the three of you stood in the elevator. "We said we'd take the relationship as slowly as possible within the Government rules, that way we don't overwhelm you."

"Thank you." You answered sincerely. "I didn't expect to meet all eleven of my soulmates on one day. Or expect that they'd all know each other. Or that half of them would have super powers of some sort of well, no offense Mr. Laufeyson, but not entirely human."

"You can call me Loki. No offense taken. I know I'm a God." Loki said with a slight smirk.

You studied him out of the corner of your eye. He was truly a beautiful specimen. No facial hair, his face extremely smooth with a pale complexion. His inky black hair was curly in waves. He carried himself with an air of elegance and self-assurance.

I flicked my eyes to look at the opposite man. He was just as tall, his facial hair giving a very smart appearance. His eyes looked like galaxies, his hair smooth and combed over on his head. He was a bit more relaxed than Loki was, though Loki had relaxed more since the front door.

The car that was waiting in front of the apartment building made you raise an eye. "This is yours?"

"Tonys." Stephen said it like an explanation.

"Of course." You murmured. Loki opened the back door so that the two of you could climb into the back while Stephen climbed into the passenger seat.

"This is Happy." Stephen introduced the two of you.

Happy simply nodded and you gave a smile, settling back into your seat.

"Would you like to come to the Avengers Tower after work?" Loki asked quietly.

You thought about it, "Yes, that sounds nice. Thank you. Are you sure I won't be imposing?"

"Not at all. Steve, Tony, and Clint are all for you moving in yesterday." Stephen chuckled. "Some of us had to convince them that it's a little to soon and that you might get overwhelmed if we asked you to move in with us today."

"Thor is ecstatic." Loki murmured, "He's already planning weddings in his mind. Mind you though, he's been without a soulmate for a thousand and a half years."

"Haven't you as well?" I questioned.

"No, only 1,058 years." Loki said with a smirk. "442 years less."

I chuckled. "I'm surprised though. Would've thought as Gods you would've had several soulmates?"

"For the longest time we didn't even have colours. Of course, that's not uncommon when it comes to Godlings. We usually wait for soulmates for a couple hundred, couple thousand years. And when we do, we are ecstatic."

It was all fascinating and you found yourself at your job far to soon for your liking. You were just slightly disappointed.

Loki took your hand, kissing the back of your knuckles again, "We'll see you after work my Queen."

Stephen had opened your door without you realizing and you quickly stepped out, making Jessie crash into Katherine as she stopped on the sidewalk.

Stephen placed a kiss on your forehead. "See you after work."

Forward, but it was to sweet to be weird. You were getting butterflies and starting to wonder if you really wanted to wait two years to get married.

"Y/N!" Katherine screeched, making you jump as the expensive car drove off. "Some explaining to do!"

"At lunch." You hissed. "Come on, we have work."

Katherine, Jessie, and Stacy were incredibly impatient as they waited for their lunch break to come. Once it did, they practically dragged you from the office so that the four of you could sit yourselves down at Big Boys, deciding to do the buffet as lunch.

You decided on breakfast for lunch, putting a few pancakes, sausage links, bacon, eggs, and cinnamon rolls along with apple/orange/grape juice as a drink.

"Explain, explain!" Jessie said.

"Shh." You hissed, rolling up your sleeve, "Stay quiet, it's supposed to be a secret."

Jessie, Stacy, and Katherine leaned over your arm to see what was there. They were the few along with your sister that knew how many soulmates that you had. Their mouths just kept dropping farther and farther until Katherine squealed, "OMG THEY'RE ALL THE AVENGERS!"

Stacy and you tackled her to get her to shut up. "SHH!" You both hissed, getting stares from the others around, though they didn't seem to really care about what you were talking about.

"Yeesh." You whined, leaning back in your seat. "I don't know if I'm lucky or cursed."

"Lucky." The other three answered.

"Seriously, you'll be one of the safest people in the city." Katherine said, eyes big as saucers as she rubbed the silver mark of her unknown soulmate.

"Unless someone from HYDRA was here and overheard your big mouth." Jessie teased Katherine.

"Yeah right." Stacy said rolling her eyes. "I'd like to see a big hulking HYDRA agent in a Big Boys."

You all laughed at the ludicrousness of the comment. After you finished lunch, you went back to work, completely unaware of the watchful eyes on your back.

⬅️➡️

[foxes-that-run]

But Daddy I Love Him

Daddy I love him is an Ariel quote, when Ariel gives up her voice for love. Taylor has given up love for her voice (career), but also not spoken up for what she wants most. But Daddy I Love Him is a continuation of a theme of how fame and fandoms have affected Taylor's personal life. What I love about this song is it sounds like an older Taylor Swift song, she embraces a country sound and speaks her mind.

While the parallels to the reaction to a relationship in May 2023 can be seen, this overlooks much of her experience with this behaviour. I don't mean to say it is not an element, but it is far from a complete story to say it is about ending a 3 week relationship with someone about whom she also said "And I'll forget you, but I'll never forgive" on the same record.

In her NYU Graduation address in May 2022 Taylor had part of the concept in this already swirling in her mind, a full year before she dated Matty Healy:

Having journalists write in-depth, oftentimes critical, pieces about who they perceive me to be made me feel like I was living in some weird simulation, but it also made me look inward to learn about who I actually am. Having the world treat my love life like a spectator sport in which I lose every single game was not a great way to date in my teens and twenties, but it taught me to protect my private life fiercely. Being publicly humiliated over and over again at a young age was excruciatingly painful but it forced me to devalue the ridiculous notion of minute by minute, ever fluctuating social relevance and likability. 

What Taylor is referring to is the treatment by the media and fandoms throughout her career, but this was never more of an issue than 2012-2014. Nothing is a terrifying as a teenager on fledgeling social media. This TikTok creator describes it perfectly:

From tabloids, twitter, tumblr, even people who looked like Taylor were abused.

So yes, Harry has had and worn t-Shirt with the song title for years, and yes they have both dressed up as Ariel. But that is not all that makes this song about Taylor loosing her love over fan behaviour... it's because she did. She lost the love she wrote 1989 including "This love left a permanent mark / This love is glowing in the dark"  about. And it continues today, there are a lot of people who still call Harry's partners vile names and think it is OK to treat others poorly because they suggest he could care for someone. I think anyone who's read this far knows exactly what I mean, probably first hand.

This affected Taylor the point the Clean Speeches on the 1989 Tour were on this topic, every night she talked about bullying, self worth and holding onto love.

The 'Daddy' is not just the fans and media, but probably her team also. I think the varied shapes in the CDs are to show this comes in many forms and roles, not just one experience. As Taylor said to Rolling Stone in 2014 before 1989 was released:

Lyrics

[Verse 1] I forget how the West was won I forget if this was ever fun I just learned these people only raise you To cage you Sarahs and Hannahs in their Sunday best Clutching their pearls, sighing, “What a mess” I just learned these people try and save you ‘Cause they hate you

For the international fans like myself 'How the West was Won' is a 1960's film about American colonisation. I think the opening 2 lines do 2 things, place us in a country setting and also tell us Taylor cares more about speaking her mind than what may be higher bigger goals.

The second half of this verse goes on to set out that it is fans who are approaching her love lost as trauma porn, and I am here for it.

I also note the cage reference, Taylor (and Harry) have a long theme of being caged or trapped by fame, she has a literal cage in her Nashville apartment, he has a cage tattoo and they have used cage, glass boxes, fishbowls, snowglobe imagery. Here she points out the fans are not really there for her, they are seeking to control her.

[Pre-Chorus 1] Too high a horse for a simple girl To rise above it They slammed the door on my whole world The one thing I wanted

The pre-chorus furthers that the final straw has been broken, she's been cornered by fans to give up something she cares for.

Vigante Shit "Ladies always rise above / Ladies know what people want / Someone sweet and kind and fun /The lady simply had enough"

Is It Over Now? "I was hoping you’d be there and say the one thing I’ve been wanting, but no"

That is the only time Taylor has sung about ‘wanting one thing' before. This also reminds me of the Delicate Behind the Scenes, where she said she got a note from a lover and wants to be with him but realises 'it can never be him'

[Chorus] Now I’m running with my dress unbuttoned Scrеaming, “But, Daddy, I love him I’m having his baby” No, I’m not, but you should see your faces I’m telling him to floor it through thе fences No, I’m not coming to my senses I know he’s crazy, but he’s the one I want

In the chorus Taylor acts out a churlish child yelling at a father. The 'daddy' is many roles, her actual parents, fans, media and probably record company and PR people who told her she could be with the one she loved, throughout her life. She says the matching line to Harry's Kiwi, which has the same meaning.

Taylor 'floors it through the fences, fed up and unwilling to listen. This is great imagery, to break through fences, and also as metaphorical fences that have been placed around what considered acceptable for her. Cars are also a Haylor theme, including Run below and often used as a metaphor for their love escaping as it is here. (All I know is that you drove us off the road / Let’s get out of this town, drive out of the city, away from the crowds)

Is It Over Now?: Was it over when he unbuttoned my blouse?

Run: And my so-called friends, they don’t know I’d drive away before I let you go

In Kiwi Harry yells a tabloid line followed with it's none of your business. In his Harry's House ONO complete with pointing at the camera and crowd. Taylor also referenced these same tabloids headlines in the Reputation magazine.

Kiwi "I'm having your baby / It's none of your business"

[Verse 2] Dutiful daughter, all my plans were laid Tendrils tucked into a woven braid Growing up precocious sometimes means Not growing up at all He was chaos, he was revelry Bedroom eyes like a remedy Soon enough, the elders had convened Down at the city hall

In the second verse Taylor establishes that she has gone everything asked of her:

Style - "I got that good girl faith and a tight little skirt"

Style - "So it goes, he can’t keep his wild eyes on the road"

Yet is denied freedom and the elders decree the match is unsuitable. I think the elders are her team. She describes the muse as chaos and revelry. This is very reminiscent of the I Knew You Were Trouble introduction poem, but while in 2012 Taylor was contrite and said it was too much she now revels in the revelry:

"And the crazy thing is I don't know if I'm ever gonna feel that way again, but I don't know if I should. I knew his world moved too fast and burned too bright, but I just thought, how can the devil be pulling you toward someone who looks so much like an angel when he smiles at you? Maybe he knew that when he saw me. I guess I just lost my balance. I think that the worst part of it all wasn't losing him it was losing me"

[Pre-Chorus 2] “Stay away from her” The saboteurs protested too much Lord knows the words we never heard Just screeching tires and true love

The 'daddy' has now forbidden the love, this is reminiscent of Love Story: "And my daddy said, “Stay away from Juliet”

[Chorus] And I’m running with my dress unbuttoned Screaming, “But, Daddy, I love him I’m having his baby” No, I’m not, but you should see your faces I’m telling him to floor it through the fences No, I’m not coming to my senses I know he’s crazy, but he’s the one I want

'Crazy' and Madness are a Haylor theme, particularly in the Blank Space music video, and these lyrics

Wonderland "And in the end, in Wonderland, we both went mad"

Kiwi "She's driving me crazy, but I'm into it (Oh) and "It's getting crazy, I think I'm losing it, I think I'm losing it"

But many more songs:

[Post-Chorus 1] I’ll tell you something right now I’d rather burn my whole life down Than listen to one more second of all this bitching and moaning I’ll tell you something ’bout my good name It’s mine alone to disgrace I don’t cater to all these vipers dressed in empath’s clothing

I love the last line, vipers dressed in empaths clothing, that is exactly what they are.

[Bridge] God save the most judgmental creeps Who say they want what’s best for me Sanctimoniously performing soliloquies I’ll never see Thinking it can change the beat Of my heart when he touches me And counteract the chemistry And undo the destiny You ain’t gotta pray for me Me and my wild boy and all of this wild joy If all you want is gray for me Then it’s just white noise, and it’s just my choice

The only time Taylor has described someone as wild in lyrics is in Style "So it goes, he can’t keep his wild eyes on the road"

Afterglow "Chemistry until it blows up"

I love the end of the bridge, elsewhere on the record Taylor describes her long term relationship as grey, staid and boring. For many years some fans have shoehorned this person into lyrics because they want to see themselves in her, as they settle down they want her too. From my point of view some rather loud warning signs in songs were overlooked, or seen as 'she's remembering the past/when they first got together' to avoid accepting she was unhappy and wanted out.

Out of the Woods "The rest of the world was black and white But we were in screaming color"

[Verse 3] There’s a lot of people in town that I Bestow upon my fakest smiles Scandal does funny things to pride, but brings lovers closer We came back when the heat died down Went to my parents and they came around All the wine moms are still holding out But fuck ’em, it’s over

This verse is where I think it becomes clear than the 2023 lens is at best reminding Taylor of a past love, because that relationship never came back. Matty has said they never dated in 2014, there was no controversy around her attending concerts then. They dated for a few weeks then stopped talking, and of story.

However Harry and Taylor did sing about a hidden relationship for years. In fact Taylor wasn't connected to anyone else in a serious way for three years. In particular

Wildest Dreams: I said, “No one has to know what we do”

This Love "This love came back to me, oh, oh, oh"

I know places : "Somethin' happens when everybody finds out / See the vultures circling, dark clouds" and "we're bulletproof I know places (Hide) and you know for me, it's always you"

…Ready For It?: "Island breeze and lights down low, no one has to know"

I Know Places TV's lyric video for got a very TTPD themed look.

[Final Chorus] Now I’m dancing in my dress in the sun and Even my daddy just loves him I’m his lady And, oh, my God, you should see your faces Time, doesn’t it give some perspective? And, no, you can’t come to the wedding I know it’s crazy, but he’s the one I want

Taylor is asking her fans, parents, media if they have grown up, from when they were teenagers playing with her real life, do they have perspective and willing to accept that she loves someone of her choosing?

And no, they can't come to the wedding, but I bet they have Eras Tour tickets.... and some showed up at Jacks.