#(mostly for cons or to get free shit or a distraction)

[way-too-obsessed-gamer]

My personal take on the coalecroux official wedding rings (like they are dating and perhaps decide to do an actual wedding) is that they can look like anything but they must be enchanted. One always feels like the cold side of a pillow and the other always feels like a warm blanket. Yes the former goes to Gideon and the latter to Kremy

[strawberrycamel]

Sophie ends up fine, they all end up fine. Apologies are said, forgiveness is (mostly) given, and Breanna thinks she's home free until Hardison pulls her aside.

He asks her if she's okay. Proper. No teasing or working up to it. Just asks straight up.

She runs back everything that happened and thinks it was her fuck up on the con. Says she got distracted, like she said earlier, but it's not gonna happen again, seriously. Hardison doesn't leave.

He says that he added a decent mic on his laptop ages ago, since sometimes Nate, Sophie, or Eliot would be gross on comms but he didn't wanna hear that shit. Still needed to relay information though, so he'd keep the comm far away from him, but they could hear him loud and clear through the mic.

Breanna doesn't get it. Hardison looks over to the counter, where Breanna left her- ah. That was Hardison's laptop. They forgot to switch back.

He also mentions she sometimes talks aloud to herself when she's thinking.

Breanna gets it.

Then something something long heartfelt discussions that there are bigoted and ignorant shitheads in the world, but you can't let them get you down, because for every shithead there's another, non-shithead that you can talk to. And things will get better with time and patience and hacking Wit studio and Toei's servers to make it so they wont be able to use anything paler than a certain skintone in their animations anymore or something

imagining Hardison and Breanna working together to fuck up Wit studio (and toei for that matter) for whitewashing Usopp to hell and back. it's not not helping

[panicroom01]

"Just a phase" (Connor x reader)

TW: Mostly angst, a little fluff tho, cursing, weed bc it's connor, fem!reader, Connor is probably ooc.

Requested? Nope lol

A/N: This probably could've had a better name lmao, but I'm taking a break from the fics I have in the works to write this, I should hopefully be getting back to writing them lol, also I made this with the song "18" by Anarbor in mind, but it's not exactly like the song, basically Connor tells his parents that he and the reader were dating and she agrees to pretend to be his girlfriend and she eventually catches feelings, might make another version of this tho, or another Connor x Reader based more off the song again. Anyways stay safe!

Here you were laying on your bed with your best friend, Connor Murphy. You noticed he seemed uncomfortable so you decided to ask him about it "Hey Con, what's wrong," his answer came quickly "nothing," a blatant lie that you saw right through. You quickly sat up and tilted your head.

"Really, it doesn't look like nothing" you replied to him, Connor was never all that secretive with you, he would tell you everything. "Fine, just promise you won't be mad" he finally said, sitting up now, and you nodded. "We're partners in crime, I can't be mad at you" you teased, punching his shoulder lightheartedly.

"I told my parents you and I were dating" he admitted, running his fingers through his long dark hair and you were rendered speechless. "Wow" was all you could say and Connor took it as a bad wow.

"Shit, look, I'm sorry, my parents have just been so annoying trying to ask me if I'm dating anyone yet and getting in my love life so I just told them we were dating to get them to shut up" he explained and you nodded in understanding. "I get that, if you want we could pretend to date so they get off your case" you suggested and he smiled gratefully "that would be great, thanks."

You couldn't help but smile back at his dopey grin and ruffle his hair a little bit, which caused him to jokingly push you away.

A few days later and you're officially introduced to the Murphy's as Connor's girlfriend, you'd met them before, but it was always brief, like when you'd knock on the door to pick up Connor either to go to your house or go on a walk with him.

You had also been in the house on several occasions and it was just you and Connor, no one else.

Tonight was different, tonight you were actually having dinner with the rest of the family and it was your first time having to pretend to be Connor's girlfriend.

Naturally you sat next to Connor and observed the rest of the family. Mrs. Murphy, had made a gluten free lasagna for dinner, not what you would've chosen but food is food.

The awkward silence was finally broken by Mr. Murphy. "Connor's never mentioned you around us" he stated and you replied back "Connor's never talked to me about you either" that was a lie. You could name multiple occasions Connor snuck to your house to escape the noise of his parents arguing, or just wanting to avoid them overall and he trusted you.

More awkward silence filled the room, until another Murphy spoke, this time it was Zoe. You knew Zoe, she would occasionally sit with you at lunch with Evan, Jared, Alana, and Connor (obviously). But other days she would sit with her friends so you didn't know her all to well.

"Why, out of anyone you could be with, would you pick my brother? I see you guys at lunch and you two just seem like friends," she questioned, causing Cynthia to speak up "Zoe, that's not very nice" "yeah well neither is Connor, I just wanna know what she sees in him" she shrugged.

You answered her question "Connor's sweet and good to me" you looked over at him to see he was staring down at his now mostly empty plate. "May we be excused to Connor's room?" you asked and Larry nodded "keep the door open though," you and Connor nodded in agreement and quickly put your dishes in the sink and went up to his room.

Connor was relieved to finally be in his own room and away from everyone else. "You okay, Con, you didn't say a thing at dinner," you asked, a little concerned, and he sighed.

"Yeah I'm fine [Y/N], it's nothing," "well it didn't seem like nothing," you responded, crossing your arms. "It just feels unfair making you go through all this because I made a dumb mistake of saying something to keep them from asking me more dumb shit."

You frowned "this isn't your fault Connor, besides I wouldn't pass up an excuse to spend time with you" and he grinned slightly, pushing you playfully "you dork" he teased.

Two months later. That's how much time has passed since your first "date" with Connor. You had skipped out on going to a concert with tickets Cynthia and Larry paid for and were instead spending time in your house.

You and Connor usually skipped on these dates Cynthia and Larry paid for the two of you, so this wasn't anything new.

Connor was laying on your bed smoking weed, you were fine with him smoking in your room, you didn't mind the smell. Something about this night seemed different though, you didn't know what but you saw something in Connor.

You were attracted to your best friend, you had no clue why, but you actually started wishing you two were actually boyfriend and girlfriend. But you knew you weren't and it hurt because no matter how convincing he was with his parents you knew it was a phase. Connor didn't really love you.

A week later you started completely avoiding Connor all together. You ate lunch alone that week, ignored all his texts, didn't come over to his place like you normally did, and you definitely didn't invite him over to yours.

Throughout the week you'd gotten texts from Alana, Evan, and Jared asking what happened with you and Connor, because it was impossible for them to not notice, they saw how you would be talking with them one minute and make an excuse to leave when Connor came along.

You ignored them too. That friday Connor had stopped you in the hall to ask why you've been so standoffish but you just shrugged "it's nothing," you stated, trying to make your way to class. "It isn't, you've been ignoring me for the past week now," he said but you drowned out the sound of his voice by putting in your earbuds and playing your music.

That night you were trying to do your homework, but you were too distracted by the thought of Connor, you tried to play music to drown out the thought of him but that didn't work either so you ended up in your bed, putting on a black hoodie of his you had "stolen" from a time you were cold while spending time with him and he let you borrow it and you just forgot to return it. It smelled like him too.

He had a dozen of the same hoodies at home and you knew that but it didn't matter because he was willing to be cold temporarily for you.

You suddenly heard a knock at your window and got up to investigate, you opened it up and lo and behold was Connor Murphy "hey," he said "hey," you replied "can I come in," he asked and you simply nodded, stepping aside so he could climb into your room.

There was a long silence until Connor finally spoke and broke it "what did I do," he asked, "what do you mean?" you asked "you ignored me for a fucking week, when I tried to talk to you all you did was brush me off, so what did I do, did I say something I shouldn't have?" he explained, starting to guess now. You could hear the hurt in his voice and it hurt you.

"You didn't do anything" you said, taking a step closer to him and he looked at the ground "bullshit" he muttered.

"What," you asked, not hearing what he said "bullshit!" he shouted "so I'm asking again, what did I do wrong, please, I need to know, I need to make it right" his voice cracked at please which made your heart sink.

"I'm being honest Connor, you really did nothing, besides it was just a week, it wasn't like you didn't have Jared, Evan, or Alana" you said, "they aren't you, they're fun to hang around, but they don't get me like you do, so I'm asking you again what I did to upset you?" he said, you saw tears brimming at his eyes.

"I'm in love with you Connor" you said softly, and you saw his head lift up slightly "what," he asked "I said I'm in love with you, that day you got high in my room, a week ago, I saw something in you, I didn't want to make things awkward between us" you confessed.

Connor had walked over to your bed and sat on the edge of it "wow," was all he said. "Was that a good or bad wow," you asked. "I don't know" Connor answered.

"How long have you known?" he asked, running a hand through his long brown hair. "Remember that day we were supposed to go to that concert and you got high here instead?" you asked "of course I do," he answered "that's when I realized it, something about you looked different, but familiar too and I just realized that I liked you" you said, sitting on your bed next to Connor.

"Well if it makes you feel better, I think I fell for you that day too, I just thought it was the weed though so I ignored it" he said smiling softly, and you didn't believe him until you looked in his eyes and saw the truth.

You leaned in and kissed him on the lips, it wasn't like the times you kissed him around his family, this time it had meaning to you two.

"Is that the hoodie I lent you," Connor asked realizing what you were wearing finally. "Yeah but you have a dozen hoodies at home, besides, I couldn't stop thinking about you" you answered. "Psh dork," he teased, pushing you lightheartedly and you laughed "hey, I'm your dork," "my beautiful dork," he said with a smile and kissed you on the forehead.

[404bvr]

✦ ABOUT ME | RULES

ASKBOX IS ALWAYS OPEN TO REQUESTS!!

Masterlist/tags!

You can call me Boo Or will, i have no preference! My pronouns are he/him and i mostly just will be posting smut or nsfw art doodles here.

Who i write for and rules are below!!

Rules:

You HAVE to be 18 and up to follow/interact with my content, please have it visible on your profile, and feel free to dm to let me know you are over the age of 18! <3 i will keep up with who does interacts with my content and if you are a minor you will be blocked!

I DO NOT accept asks that include these following: pedophila/anything including minors, non-con/dub-con/cnc, anything related to bodily fluids (piss/shit, etc.), and pregnancy (i am okay with blood and breeding kinks!!).i’m not sure how i feel about anything else but it writing about it makes me uncomfortable, i will put in here!

Please don’t repost my work if you have minors following you!! i do not wanna expose minors to 18+ content and the age restriction isn’t to protect kids, it’s to protect ME. I, an Adult am not going to show people under 18 nsfw/explicit content. Please respect my wishes.

Feel Free to interact with me through my asks!! i mostly will answer all asks i get as long as i am not uncomfy with them, other than that i am not really bothered!  No Hate! this is for fun and just something to distract myself! if you’re only here to hate on me, you’ll just be blocked :) WHO I WILL WRITE FOR: c!badboyhalo c!quackity (sfw only) c!awesamdude c!dream/cc!dream/DreamXD c!eret c!georgenotfound/cc!george c!sapnap/cc!sapnap c!karl/cc!karl c!technoblade c!wilbur/simpbur/any bursona tbh c!foolish

WHO I WON’T WRITE FOR (either i don’t know enough to write or they don’t like nsfw written lol, these will be moved once i learn more about the characters) c!punz c!skeppy c!philza c!fundy c!puffy c!schlatt

[openforjean]

her dad’s birthday

Bucky Barnes x Mexican!fem!reader

Warnings: mentions of death, a lil sad

A/n: this story is mostly for me but I hope u can enjoy it too

for the love of god pls reblog with ur thoughts

Bucky’s pov 

Y/n. 

I’ve been seeing her for a four months now. We’ve been on ten dates to dinner and eight movie dates. And I don’t plan on letting her go. 

Today is her father’s birthday, and I know this because Y/n has mentioned it a hundred times now. What kind of boyfriend would I be if I forgot her dad’s birthday? 

“What do you think I should wear?” I ask. she whips her head to me and she sizes me. “He won’t care, I promise, so don’t worry,” she says. I look down at my shirt and flatten it. Yes, I’m nervous. I’ve never met her father nor her mother, she doesn’t have much a connection with her mom but it’s different with her dad. She loves her dad, she talks about him a lot, she visits him often too. She buys him candy and balloons. It’s sweet really, she’s a great girl. 

I really scored with Y/n. I don’t think I’ll ever meet someone better than her. She’s it for me.

“You look good, okay? Don’t be nervous, he won’t test you. Just be yourself,” she says, pulling my waist to her. She kisses my cheek and smiles. “I’ll try, I just don’t wanna mess up with him. I just- I really like you and I’d hate to ruin it,” I admit. Her face falls but her hand goes to my cheek, “there is no way you’d mess anything up. You’re a gift Bucky, you are a gift to my life. The past month has been the best month of my life in...a long time, you won’t. He’ll have to like you cause I lo- I like you. I like you a lot, now let’s get going. I need to buy him some stuff,” she says. She rubs my cheek, I take that hand and I kiss her knuckles. I love her too. And it might be too early to say but that’s what I feel for her. 

We walk down the street hand in hand, it feels right. Her skin is soft and warm, she glances at me sometimes to see if I’m still staring. Which, I am mostly likely am. She’s too beautiful and captivating to look away from, and if people got to know her personally, there’d be a fight for her hand. 

We walk into the local grocery store and she immediately went straight to the flower section. I follow her and she begins to browse. “Maybe roses?” I suggest, she simply responds “nah”. 

“I got him roses last time, I’m thinking sunflowers and daises. What do you think?” She asks, picking up both bouquets. “I think you should get both?” I suggest. She gives an approving hum and takes them in her hands. 

“You can pick out a balloon as I go get a cart, okay?” She says. “Yeah. that’s okay. I’ll be at the balloon section,” I answer. Y/n walks off and I head to the balloons. 

I scan the balloons, deciding which one to get. But my eyes catch something even better, a SQUARE balloon. That’s awesome, this is my first time seeing one. Kinda freaky...anyways, I’ll get that one for him. 

“Excuse me, can I get the green squared happy birthday one filled up?” I ask, the man nods and takes the balloon from the drawer and begins to fill the balloon up. I hope her dad likes it. 

“That’s a cool balloon, Buck,” she says, pulling up next to me with the cart. “You think he’d like it?” I ask. “He’ll love it, it’s whimsical,” she responds. The employee hands me the balloon and I take it. I turn to Y/n to place it in the cart, since it has a weight at the bottom. But...I get distracted. A big smile and bright eyes take over her face, I could just feel her happiness and excitement. I place the balloon in the cart and the flowers are in there too. 

We check out and we head to the next stop. Guadalupe’s Produce, a small Mexican store that is farther down the street. I’ve been there before, they have great vegetables and wonderful fruit selection. Y/n also knows the owner.

I’m holding the balloon and the flowers as Y/n watches the cars go by. She does that, she admires people. It’s interesting. 

We get closer down the street and she sees a taco truck parked right across from the store. “Bucky, we should get tacos. Real tacos, not that Taco Bell shit,” she suggests. Of course I’m going to agree, her taste is way better than mine. 

We arrive at the store and the owner greets us. Y/n starts a conversation with her and I wander around as they speak. I take a basket and place the flowers in there, holding the balloon in my right hand. I walk down the first aisle, it’s filled with books, magazines and comics. All in Spanish. I know Spanish, fluently too. I only whip it out in certain places though. The second aisle is full of chips and candies. Sabritones, Chicharrones, Gansitos, and Paleta Payaso’s. I take three of the clown and a bag of Chicharrones. I couldn’t help but grab a box of Duvalin’s and de la Rosa’s too now. How could I not? 

I walk back near Y/n, it seems she’s almost done talking to the owner. I could hear the owner say, “come to the register” in Spanish. Y/n looks my way, her eyes fall to the basket in my hand. Y/n walks up to me with parted lips. She peeks inside the basket and spots the snacks, she looks back up at me. She takes my face in her hands and brings my lips down to hers. The kiss is like fire, passion and her lips taste like cherry cola. I could live in this moment forever.

She pulls away from my lips and she reaches for my metal hand. She holds it to her heart, “you got his favorite, Bucky”. Her eyes water but she pushes them back. She leads me to the register with her hand in mine. I place the basket on the counter and the owner, Angela, rang them up. But before she could finish, Y/n took a little bottle from next to her and places it on the counter too. I don’t recognize the candy. I hand Angela my card before Y/n could pull hers out her phonecase. Angela takes it and prints the receipt, Y/n pinches my butt.

“Do that again, Y/n,” I joke. Angela bags our snacks and flowers.

She quickly does it again as I take the bag. Y/n smirks as she dropped a ten in the tip jar.

We exit the store biting our tongues, waking across the street to the taco truck.

Once we cross, the entire mood shifts. The music got louder and voices too. People stood around conversing, children playing and families eating on benches. We get closer to the truck and the food hit my nose, it smells so good. The spices and the tacos. The sun barely hits the truck, it’s shady and windy. It’s a perfect spot.

We walk up to the truck and Y/n leans on the counter, squinting to read the menu.

“What kind of tacos do you want, Bucky?” She asks, turning back at me. “Surprise me,” I answer. Y/n smirk and turns back around. That smirk could diet her lead to a good surprise or a prank. I sit in a bench next to a family.

“¡Hola Marco! ¿Come estas? - ¡que bien! - yo qiuero dos platos de tacos con dos Jarritos, por favor,” Y/n says. I can understand what she’s saying, and she knows. So she’s not going to sabotage my tastebuds. Wait- what about her father? Is she getting him food too? Or are we eating here?

She pays the man and walks back to me, I smile. She sits next to me and I wrap my arm around her with the balloon in my hand still. I kiss her temple. “Thank you, Bucky. Thank you for coming with me to visit my dad, I appreciate it. You’re the best boyfriend I’ve ever had,” she says, looking down at her hands. I could hear her heart race as she spoke.

She looks at me and I peck her lips. I rest my forehead on hers and look into her eyes. “Y/n, you don’t need to thank me. I rather be with you than anything else, so really... thank you. I can’t wait to meet your father, I can’t wait to meet the man who raised such a great woman,” Bucky says.

Before Y/n could respond, her name is called. Y/n jumps up and takes the food in her hand. She tilts her head to come to her and I do. I take the bag and the balloon follows. She takes my free hand and she begins to lead me up the street.

“Where does your dad live, Y/n?” I ask.

“Not far, just a few minutes away from my apartment. It’s an easy walk but a long train ride, surprisingly,” she answers.

“You took the subway to your dads house?”

“ONCE! My legs were hurting so bad and I didn’t think it’d take half an hour to get there!” She exclaims, I laugh and she pulls her hand away from mine. “Y/n, I’m kidding. You’re so precious,” I say, pulling her shoulder to mine. “We’re almost there, sorry it’s taking a bit,” she says.

“It’s okay, I’m used to walking,” I answer.

I look ahead and on the left is a cemetery, on the right is a street full of houses. Her father’s place must be on the right. I pull her hand towards the right so we can cross. She stands still as I drift. She looks deep into my eyes and I look at the cemetery. Shame and fear take over her face, her head drops to the ground. I come back closer, realizing what’s going on. I pull her close and I hug her.

Her dad is in the cemetery.

Her father is dead.

We’re visiting his grave.

She’s been visiting him at the cemetery all along.

I hug her tight and I whisper “it’s okay” in her ear. I know she feels guilty, and she shouldn’t feel guilty on this day. She should feel happy, like she was before. She pulls away, wiping her tears and I push her hands down and I wipe them. “Let’s see him, Y/n,” I say.

Y/n nods and leads me to the cemetery. We pass the gate and we walk up the stairs, she leads me to the stone. She places the food down, gently. She immediately drops down to her knees and hugs the stone. Rubbing its back, I remain standing.

“Hey papa, happy birthday. I love you and I miss you. This is Bucky, he’s my boyfriend and we have something for you,” she says. She looks back at me and I hand her the snack bag. She removes the dead roses and pulls out the sunflowers and daises, and places them in the vase next to his stone. She arranges them neatly. “We also got some snacks to eat, we got your favorite...well, Bucky got your favorite,” she says. She looks up at me, her eyes are begging for me to sit on the ground with her.

I sit.

She take the balloon from my hand and ties it around vase. “He seems to know your favourites before he even met you. Crazy, he even got you this balloon. Isn’t it cool?”

Oh man. My heart. She’s talking to the grave as if he’s alive. I think I might cry.

“You can talk to him too, Bucky. He’s friendly,” Y/n says. I nod and I scoot closer to her. “Hi Mr. Y/l/n, happy birthday. I’m honored to meet you, you have an amazing daughter...she’s been a blessing to my life. I hope you like the balloon, it’s green and a square! It’s cool, but yeah, anyways...I’m glad to be here celebrating your birthday,” I say. Y/n’s hand lays on top of mine and she leaves it there.

“We’ve been dating for five months, he makes me very happy. He’s only been good to me and so much more, he’s the guy I’ve been telling you about for so long,” Y/n says. I didn’t know she talked to her father about me.

“We also have tacos! I got him some regular tacos though, nothing too spicy. I don’t want his tongue palette to die,” she says as she takes the drinks out. Now, I’ve had these before. Jarritos. A classic Mexican drink. My favorite flavor is the same as Y/n’s; mandarin.

She passes me my plate and sets my drink next to my foot. She does the same for herself. But before she opens her box, she does this thing and it’s a great thing. She recycles. She takes all the plastics and places it in one bag, so she can recycle it all. It’s admirable.

She hands me her drink because she knows I have a bottle opener on hand. I take it and I open it for her, and mines too. She opens her box and begins to eat.

I take a bite out of my taco. Holy cow, it’s so good. The smell is one thing but the taste, wow. Bucky is in love.

“Oh dad, I forgot to tell you. I paid off my credit card, I’m proud of that. I thought I’d die in debt, but no- I paid it!”

Y/n spoke to her father as I ate, I spoke too. I told him about how Y/n caught her first fish and her first tien going on the Cyclone. Now, she’s finishing her food.

“We need to eat the candy, Bucky,” Y/n says with her mouth full of food. “I’ve been waiting to hear those words all my life Y/n,” I ramble out. I dig into the snack bag and I take out la paleta. I hand one too Y/n, and we unwrap it. They definitely do not look like the packaging and neither of us have hope they ever will.

Y/n holds hers up and says “to you papa, happy birthday”. I hold mines up too and we bite into them.

She finishes her paleta and she takes a small green bottle out from the snack bag. She takes the plastic off and she pushes it into the plastic bag. She twists the bottle and little crystals fall out into her hand, she purposely lets it fall. She licks it off?

“Y/n, what’s that?” I ask, eating my paleta.

“Lucas,” she answers, pouring more onto her bare palm.

“Ummm, sure,” I place my hand out and she licks hers off first. She pours some in my hand and it looks like sugar, I quickly lick it off.

As soon as it hit my tongue, it was too late. The saltiness and sourness hit like a train, I was not expecting that. I wipe the remaining “candy” on my jeans. I take the soda and chug it down to get rid of the taste as Y/n laughs her ass off.

The soda runs out and I put the bottle down and I wipe my mouth. “You’re lucky I love you, Jesus what was that?” I say.

Y/n’s laughing stops. I get concerned and it hit me what I just slipped out.

“James Buchanan Barnes, I’ve been waiting to hear those words all my life”.

Sorry this isn’t so good, been really down lately. Hopefully it’s decent💗 pls leave some feedback💗

[imaginetonyandbucky]

The Buy In

Chapter 10: Epilogue

by @dracusfyre

"I feel like you're going to try to sell me a time share," Bucky said, studying the bland conference room Tony had reserved. It looked like probably every other conference room Bucky had ever been, as if they were all ordered out of the same catalogue; beige walls, carpeted floor that had the feeling of being beige while actually having flecks of red and blue in it, and the tables and chairs with wheels on them so they could be moved easily. Tony had even pulled down a screen and to all appearances, was setting up for a powerpoint presentation. 

"It's all about presentation, Mr. Barnes," Tony said. He picked up a clicker and a red dot appeared on Bucky's chest, then started moving around in what Bucky eventually recognized as a heart shape. "Gotta know your audience and what they'll respond to. Too fancy, and they'll be scared off. Not fancy enough, and they'll feel like they're being scammed. A hotel conference room fits neatly inside that middle ground."

"You've put a lot of thought into this," Bucky said. He glanced at the clock, saw that they had a few minute before people were supposed to arrive and dipped his head for a quick kiss. 

"Well, yeah," Tony started, but then there was a knock on the door. Tony opened it to see that part of the security detail started bringing in the refreshments for the meeting, coffee and donuts and croissants and other breakfast-style food that people would probably pick at and leave mostly untouched. "Natasha helped," he continued, poking at the refreshments table and rearranging everything slightly. "She's better at that side of things, the headology, as she calls it."

"I can see that." Bucky watched Tony putter. Looked like Tony was nervous, which was kind of adorable. "So you can't even give me a sneak peak at what you're talking about today?"

Tony shook his head. "For right now, you're a potential investor, not my lover."

"Ok, ok," Bucky said. He realized he was following Tony around as he puttered aimlessly and made himself stop. "So I got to see KT today. Brought him his laptop so he could start catching up on homework."

That made Tony stop rearranging the plates and napkins and turn to Bucky with a smile. "Good! So that mean's he is doing well?" 

"Yep. Should be out of there soon. Any update on Rumlow?"

Tony's smile turned evil. "From what I hear, he's had a run of bad luck lately, such a shame. He lost his service pistol, which, you know, big no no. And did you know someone stole his patrol car, spray painted it, and left something unmentionable smeared on the seats?  Then did the same with his personal car, which was found laying upside down in front of his apartment building?"

With a force of effort Bucky kept his face blank. "Strange."

"Very strange," Tony agreed. "Insurance didn't even pay out, mysteriously enough. Apparently they had dropped his coverage the day before and he hadn't gotten the notice yet."

"Crime in this city is getting really out of hand," Bucky said seriously. "He's lucky it wasn't something worse."

"Oh it will be, give it time."

There was that smug look again that Bucky loved, and he started to sneak another kiss when there was another knock. This time the security guard was escorting people inside, a middle-aged Black couple that looked around cautiously, like they were expecting the conference room to contain something nefarious. Bucky straightened immediately, trying to look professional, and smiled at them as Tony welcomed them inside, calling them by name and offering them a warm handshake. There was a steady stream after that, until the conference room was about half full. 

"Hello everyone, let's get started," Tony said, taking a head count and looking at the clock. "All of you are here because you either were recommended by a friend or a family, or I sent you a personal invitation. Thank you for being willing to join me today for this presentation, and please save your questions for the end. As you all know, my name is Tony Stark, genius billionaire playboy philanthropist, and in this presentation I'm going to ask you for money." Tony grinned as almost everyone laughed. "Then I'm going to tell you what you're going to get for your money, and then I'm going to explain how you're not even going to notice that your money is gone." 

As interested as Bucky was in the presentation, he kept getting distracted by watching Tony effortlessly charm the room, making eye contact with each person and joking just enough to keep people interested without derailing his speech. It was a warmer, more authentic show than what Bucky had seen at the Policeman's Ball and it made Bucky's heart turn over with affection as he watched. KT had been right when he said that the buy-in speech could make you a believer; not just in the astonishing amount of benefits that Tony offered to people who agreed to the buy-in, but because Tony's enthusiasm for the project was contagious. 

"So why do you need our money?" One guy interrupted. "If you've got so much of it?"

"Good question," Tony said. He leaned against one of the tables, putting his hands in his pocket and crossing his legs at the ankle. "Yeah, the majority of the start-up money came from me. Since this organization is technically a nonprofit, I get to write it all off of my taxes, the way rich people often do. But I ask for your money because if I paid for all of it, then it would belong to me, wouldn't it? The whole point of this enterprise is to build ownership and equity in the community. You own the health clinic and the child care centers, the retirement homes and the apartment complexes. Not only does it mean you get to decide what to do with them, but it means that you start having a place at the same table that all of the billionaire developers and well-connected real estate moguls do."

"But the stuff about the taxes and stuff, where we just hand it all to you, that's tax fraud, isn't it? Which is illegal?"

"Well, yes, in a way," Tony said honestly. "You avoid paying taxes the same way rich people avoid paying taxes, by finding loopholes in the tax code and driving semi-trucks through them. But also, I'm the criminal, not you. If we get caught, I'm the big bad con artist that scammed honest folks like you out of your hard earned savings. There will be a class action lawsuit after the criminal proceedings, my lawyer will fight hard but not too hard to defend my assets, then they will eventually get divided up among all my victims in the kind of feel-good, good guys win story that is made for Hallmark TV. In the mean time, my job is to help the community fund the type of social welfare projects that the government should be doing but isn't, by taking from people who don't deserve it and giving it to the people that do. Which the government should also be doing but isn't."  

"So this is like, socialism," a young woman said in accented English. "Instead of paying the government taxes, we give that money to you, and you like, do all this stuff with it."

"Pretty much. Grassroots socialism with a capitalist veneer. I like to think of it as stone soup, from the kid's story."

"But why?"

"Because it's the right thing to do," Tony said, like it was obvious. Bucky hid his smile in his hand and hoped he didn't look too besotted; he'd sat all the way in the back for a reason. "I don't know else to say it. Why should I have so much when others have so little? I give a lot it away, because there really are so many problems that can be solved by throwing money at them, but some can't. Some need systemic change, which means empowering people, which is what I'm trying to do. That's why it's a buy-in, and not a handout." There was still some obvious reluctance among the group, and Tony's smile turned a little sad. "Look, I get it. You are used to people promising a lot and not delivering. And you think this sounds way too good to be true, right?" No one really answered, but the way they kind of avoided Tony's eyes said a lot. "Let me tell you a story.

"So I've been donating regularly to the free clinic on 17th for a while now. A few years ago, there was a kid volunteering there because he wanted to go to medical school. But he was in a shit position - his parents made too much money to qualify for the grants and needs-based scholarships, but not enough to actually afford tuition or even qualify for good student loans. So the doctor in charge of the clinic emailed me and told me to do something useful with all of the blood money I was getting from Stark Industries, and so I did. I paid for his entire education, and he came back and is currently the head physician at the rehab clinic. So if you want there to be a catch, if you need there to be a catch so that you can believe what I'm telling you, then that's the catch - you have to try to give back at least as much as you were given."

There was a long, thoughtful silence after that, and Tony wisely let it sit for a while instead of trying to fill it with words. "You don't have to answer now," he said after a few moments. "The forms that you would need to fill out for the buy-in are right here," he added, tapping a stack of papers next to him. "Take one with you, and think about it. Any last questions?"

"Yeah, I got one," the young woman said. "I heard you stole Jeff Bezos' car, is that true?"

-------------

A/N: If you enjoyed this story, come find me over at @marveltrumpshate​ where I will be participating in auctioning off TWO fanfics! One auction is a fic with art (with @massivespacewren) as WrenFyre and the other is a solo fic as Dracusfyre. All the money goes to a good cause of your choosing, so I hope to see you there!

[walkingshcdow-a]

Things That Happened in the Last Three Days at D&D, According to My Notes

Finnegan’s mage hand carried one of Victor (Trevor’s) molars down into a castle ruin because Victor can use his hexblood magic and own body parts as “bugs” to spy on others. There was minimal, “Mmm, that’s gross, babe,” from Finnegan. 

Once Victor relayed all the info, Carlotta went down alone while Finnegan waited for his BF to come out of his magically induced blindness. This meant Lotta taunted the guards into fighting her and killed one almost immediately, then, looked up and said, “Next?”

Finnegan and Victor join for battle. Victor slices a guard in half. Finnegan, hanging back (because sorcerer and also asshole) is very impressed with his boyfriend’s display of swordsmanship.

For a few rounds, Finnegan fails to hit anything. This wouldn’t have sucked so much if one of the Grells didn’t get its poison tentacles in Lotta. And then Victor. Victor passes his con save, but Lotta doesn’t. Incensed, Finnegan begins to firebolt the shit out of the Grell and critical rolls. That son of a bitch is dead and not hurting his loved ones anymore. 

We go back to fighting cultists but that other Grell is around and Finnegan decides it’s going to be his problem as it comes towards him, except Victor rushes it to defend him and stabs it hard. Finnegan puts the cursed thing out of its misery with a swift Chill Touch and rots it on sight with another crit. 

Victor heals Lotta, who is the only one very damaged. Finnegan? Not a scratch. The perks of speciailizing in ranged fire magic. 

Victor realizes the weird symbology the cultists wear match nothing recognizable. 

We find a study and look for useful things. Lotta and Finnegan study a book call “Retribution of the Ancients” and Finnegan gets to tell the party religious facts that don’t have to do with the Selandrine for once. He still defers to Victor for more knowledge because of course. 

Victor finds a chime of opening... and a secret passage full of a cult sweatshop. No thanks. 

We go the other way and find a room with a very dodgy summoning canvas and dozens of bones upon it. While Lotta runs back upstairs to get the book, Victor and Finnegan move the bones off the canvas and discuss the horrors of the cult. They agree Finnegan should take the canvas to disrupt the ritual, since none of us can figure out how to make it summon a friendly god instead. 

We go down the hall and find a prison filled with townsfolk and the knight we met at the beginning of the game. There are also students under instruction by a cultist. One of them looks familiar - the innkeeper’s son! Victor tells him his father wants him to come home and rolls a Nat 20 persuasion. The young man is ready to come with us... but his teacher refuses to let him. We fight.

It’s a short fight. Lotta kills the teacher and hits a cultist. Finnegan “holds” (re: paralyzes temporarily) the other two cult students and tries to persuade them that if they stop fighting, they will let them live. Somehow that works! 

Finnegan asks the baby cultists their names. One, Tayathanu almost refuses to give her name because she sees it as a sarifice for her god. Victor tells her that any god worth serving will never ask her to give up her identity because that god will see the value of her. The other one, Steven, just came for the free spaghetti dinner and has been stuck here. He’s glad to leave. We try to reason with Teyathanu but she has gulped down some of that Kool-Aid. We also try to heal Steven, but we’re not good at it, so Victor tells the innkeeper’s son to take everyone to the healer. Lotta opens the cell with the chime of opening. 

Finnegan recognizes one of the women as the mayor’s sister, Yaeda and she probably has pneumonia and is #Done with this shit. He tells her that her sister is waiting for her and she says, “No doubt with a lecture.” Lotta accuses her of being pregnant with the cult leader’s baby. She (probably?) is not but is definitely insulted. 

As they go through the halls, Victor keeps finding rooms full of bones. Somewhat petulantly, Finnegan says he doesn’t want to go into another bloody room of bones - mostly because he’s carrying the summoning canvas. However, it almost sounds like he thinks Victor trying to perform funeral rites isn’t worthwhile so they squabble. Finnegan has instant regrets, but what’s he gonna do? Overexplain and apologize? Of course not. Instead, he snarks with Lotta in the hall, asking what witty one-liners she plans to use when she kills Vialis. 

The go into a small room and find chests filled with weapons and personal artifacts from the prisoners. Victor takes Sir Veckan’s longsword, the money, and the fancy earrings. 

In the hall, Finnegan invokes his Inspiring Leader Feat and tells the other two essentially that they are badass and there is no one he’d rather kill cultists with. (I didn’t write down what he said). This gives everyone temporary hit points. 

Lotta invokes her Master of Intrigue Feat to disguise herself as a cultist.

Finnegan makes himself and Victor invisible and then sends him a quiet message: “I’m sorry.” Victor finds his hand and holds it in the quiet before battle. 

Finnegan and Lotta stealthed into the "chapel”. Victor went unnoticed by the sheer distraction of the cult leader and his followers. 

Victor shoves a long sword into Lord Vialis, the cult leader. Lotta shanks Vialis. Finnegan shoots scorching ray at Lord Vialis, a Grell, and Faerl, his archenemy who wanted to byuy his house. Vialis is barely standing and Faerl passes out. 

The fight continues until Vialis stuns the party, blinding Lotta in the process.

The effects of the stunning wear of and Finnegan casts scorch ray at the fanatics and Faerl and kills Faerl. He then turns to the cultists and grins menacingly. “That was satisfying,” he says. “Don’t try me.” He successfully intimidates them. 

The battle continues for a few rounds. Lotta stabs Lord Vialis with her rapier and pins him to his own altar. “This is for Sarah,” she hisses. “Sarah?” he sputters and then dies. 

The cultists and grells continue to fight the party, even without a leader and are shown no mercy. 

When the enemies are nothing but blood and corpses, Finnegan takes Faerl’s hat as a spoil of war and heads north. As he leans against a wall, hoping to look cool for his boyfriend, Lotta rings the chime of opening and he falls backwards into a library. Everyone sees him look like an idiot. Then, Lotta and Victor explore another secret library that opened up. The find Vialis’ journals and his family’s ashes, which he’d been using as an arcane focus. Finnegan finds books. 

Over the next few days, there are celebrations in Greenfast for those who have been freed from the cult. While the party clean out the libraries for interesting books, Finnegan asks Victor about vacationing in Greenfast one day and they joke about building a summer home. Funerals are held for those sacrificed by Vialis. Then, upon returning to Waterdeep, the party hosts a funeral for Sarah and the Yellowcrests. Their ghosts appear to say silent thank yous.

Victor says to the party, “If anyone should ask what happened, we shall tell them the greatest story of how Sir Veckan of the Broken Helm defeated the Cult of the Burnt Tongue.” and Lotta and Finnegan, who have too much vested interest in no looking like they killed a Waterdhavian noble eagerly agree. 

@professor-of-predators - DM

 @tinfoiltemplar​ - Victor Trevor

@dirusso - Carlotta Dirusso

@walkingshcdow - Finnegan Silverguard

[kittenshift-17]

I'm a fic writer and I'm currently starting to get writing burn out. do you have any tips for getting through this? (I'm even burnt out from reading fanfic, so I don't even know what I'm doing with my life at this point)

Oh my gosh, I have an answer for this!!! Mostly because I have been living that feeling for about 8 months now and I know it's killer.

So first thing I recommend is set aside a day for yourself where you have nowhere to be. You got plans, rearrange them. You're gonna take a nap. A long one.

Tell yourself the following about writing: "It will be there when I'm ready. No one is depending on my writing solely for their survival. My mental health matters too."

And then have a glass of warm milk or a chamomile tea if you're lactose intolerant. Go to the bedroom. Jig the temperature to whatever provides you optimal comfort - for me, it's fan on high, air con set to as cold as it goes, and (I shit you not) 9 blankets. It's a weight thing, but I'm too cheap to buy a weighted therapy blanket.

Anyway. Do these things. Tuck yourself in. If you have a lover, ask them to tuck you in and request a lingering forehead kiss if they don't offer one of their own volition. If you don't have a lover, grab a pillow, you're gonna wanna spoon that bad boy (I do this every night, much to Boyfee's amused irritation 🤣). Turn off your phone, or set it to silent with no alarms, no notifications, and no means for interrupting your nap before you're good and ready.

Now, if you're anything like me, 3 things are gonna try and happen. Either you're brain is gonna start pointing out that you're not tired and could be better using this time. Or it's gonna start the guilt-cycle about needing to write, to read, to be in any way productive. Or, the worst one, "all that bullshit" is gonna start with the gag-reel of guilt and regret and embarrassing memories from your past.

And no one wants that shit, so we're turning that part of the brain off. Here's my method:

1. Think about your story. No, not about how you said you'd have a chapter ready this week. Think about the story. The actual plot. The characters. The hook. Doesn't have to be your main WIP. It can be anything. Any story. Old. New. Freshly invented. Doesn't matter. The idea is to actively think about a story and engage your imagination. Think about the characters. Call their image forth in your mind. Do they have dark hair or light? Are they short or tall? What are they wearing? Why are they wearing goth-metal get-up? Are they undercover? Is it a phase? Have they finally hit on their signature look? It's kinda hot, right?

2. Think about their motives. What's the plot? Are they going somewhere? Why are they plotting world domination? Did they have too much Red Bull this morning? Is a sugar crash imminent? Are they diabetic? This could take a turn. Oh, hey look, hypoglycaemia has resulted in a hot doctor appearing on the scene! No one should look this good in scrubs, right? It's literally not fair. Wait... hot doctor is saying something. They have a nice voice.

3. Let your imagination run wild. You don't need to remember the details. Pretend it's a dream until it becomes one. If you wake up with the burning urge to write, all the better, but that's not the point of this exercise, so don't be afraid to think up crazy shit you would never dream of writing. The goal is to trick the brain into pleasant distraction and to lull yourself to sleep.

4. When you wake up, take it slow. You've got nowhere to be. You took the day for you. It's a weekend. Chill. You don't have to get out of bed for another 4 hours if you don't want to.

5. When you do get up, find your favourite movie from the last decade. Grab yourself a cup of tea or a juice, something to snack on (sandwich is my go-to), throw on the movie, and watch it. Sit down, snack, and enjoy something you've loved for a long time. If you're not a TV person, seek out songs more than 5 years old on your play list. I recently tried this and happened upon all the songs I was listening to when I started a bunch of my oldest WIPs and shook a bunch of new ideas loose.

6. Go for a walk. If you're unable to walk, find a way to get out of the house, be it walk, roll or hobble. Go to a park and cruise around for half an hour. Take it slow. Remember, you have nowhere to be today. This is your you-day. You're here for nature and fresh air, not exercise. This is purely a Zen moment. Find a park bench and cop a sit for a while. Look at the other people in the park. What are they up to? Is that a Mum's group jogging by with strollers? A little old couple sharing an ice-cream? Are those ducks in the pond? They're cute, right? They like sweetcorn and lettuce. You should come to the park more often and bring them some lettuce to munch on.

7. Think about your writing some more. This time, the process of it, and what drew you to the hobby, rather than stories and plots. Why are you working on your WIP? Do you enjoy it, or has it become a chore? This is supposed to be a hobby, right? You're giving your hard-written words away for free if you're writing fanfic, so why are you busting yourself to meet self-imposed deadlines? Do you even still like your characters? The plot? Do you want to invest the effort of continuing the tale?

8. Say these words to yourself: "It's okay if I've had enough."

9. Say them again. "It's okay if I've had enough."

10. When you go home, don't do any writing today. Indulge another hobby. Draw a picture, even if you're not very good at it. Knit something. Glue tubes of spaghetti to paper if you want. Play the sims, or valheim, or candy crush. Literally anything that isn't writing. Find something else to do. Engage a different part of your brain. You're tired of the same old fandom, same old characters, same old tropes and same tired stories. That's okay. That's human nature.

The important thing to remember is that you're in control. You have the power. If you never want to write another word, that's okay, you know? If you want to write something else, something different, something fresh, do it! I do it all the time. I cycle through WIPs for 18 different fandoms just to keep things fresh and avoid burn out on any one story, trope, or fandom. Switching to a new fandom is like flipping over a rock and finding a live snake underneath - terrifying, but damn it gets your heart racing!

And this can be applied for non-writers too. Your life is up to you to navigate. You're the captain of your own ship and you owe no one anything beyond basic respect, kindness and decency. Speaking as someone who's job has been ruining her life for 8 months and burning me out so much that between September and December, I didn't write a damn word because I was all outta spoons making it through each work day, I get it more than I ever hoped I would.

The best way to stave off burn out is to force a hard reset of yourself. If you're worried about backlash from your readers if you take a break, post to notify them that you're taking a small hiatus for your mental health. Anyone who minds terribly much and is rude about it needs to remember that life is already hard, and they need not add to it.

Trust me, love, no one will mind overly much if you need a rest. Take a nap. Take a walk. Feed the ducks. And dive into something else you enjoy for a few days. I've found some of my best writing falls out of a factory-reset inside my own head. Maybe you will too.

Xx-Kitten

[ask-the-crimson-king]

Tales from D&D: The Players Become Bewildered

The title is a pun. I will explain.

I am running a Ravenloft campaign that is drawing off the new Van Ricthen's Guide and also older 2e/3e lore and a bit of homebrew along the way. The party comp is pretty interesting;

MAIE - Kenku, Creation Bard. Stays out of conflicts as much as they can. Died once, seeks immortality. Player is thorn in my side very smart. BLUR - Swiftstride Shifter, Armorer Artificer. Has a bit of history with the eponymous Rudolph van Richten and traveled with him for a time. Trying to befriend a dangerous party member. VARIS - Drow, Astral Fists Monk. Seeking assassin order that killed his master. THETMATHOF THE LEARNED - Human, Undead Warlock. Patron is Azalin Rex. Hails from Darkon. Hates his "dad". It's complicated. Goes by 'Thet'. ZARANAI - Githyanki, Spores Druid. From the Underdark directly. Fascinated with everything. Dislikes those who reject the cycle of life. -3 Str go brr. FINDALOR - Moon elf, Twilight Cleric. Works directly with Rudolph van Richten as a fellow monster hunter, and has done so for a few decades with him. Has saved the party's ass twice. Dislikes monstrous beings vehemently. AND THE NEWEST ADDITION: ANIKA - Air Genasi, Battlesmith Artificer. Just rolled up. Very confused. Azalin has already spoken to her. Has a dope ass metal tiger. Mom friend[?]

The party also has two NPCs traveling with them: RUDOLPH VAN RICHTEN - Monster hunter expert, has been doing so for literal decades. Getting on in his years, but can still kick some fucking ass. GENERAL VYCHEN - Ancient vampire general who worked for Azalin Rex. Has been convinced/tricked by the party into coming with them to 'raise an army' under the guise of Thet's request. Disliked and distrusted by most of the party.

SO, the party has just gotten out of the domain of Mordent and find themselves within Kartakass. They notice the moon is full and they arrive in the night despite waking up in the 'morning' out in the mists.

Immediately, they meet a wereraven on the road who calls himself Sunrunner and asks the party to help him deliver a shipment of wine from his family's brewery. Another face appears from the woods, one Harkon Lukas, who greets the party and tells them to follow him to a place called Skald. He owns the Old Kartakan Inn there, and to 'sweeten the deal', if one of them can beat him in a play-off, he'll give them their rooms for free.

The party is IMMEDIATELY suspicious and untrusting of Harkon, so they say no. But they do agree to follow Sunrunner to Harmonia and to his brewery. Sunrunner explains to them that the Wildersung forest, the forest all around them, has a melody that plays through it, and that if one hears singing, they need to be silent.

Fin casts Detect Evil and Good. Harkon comes up as fey.

Now the party gets to the brewery. They get a tour, they give the wereraven a bit of Red Dragon Crush that they found elsewhere which has started to go bad, and then they're led to an adjacent tavern called the Raven's Feather. They go in, try some of the wine they're going to be delivering, and have a chat.

There is also a single bottle of Evermead that Fin buys immediately for 30gp for the bottle. Otherwise, the party grabs some drinks and chats about life. After some idling, they head up into their rooms, and they go to sleep.

And they wake up, back in their cart, exiting the mists and entering Kartakass.

This time, there are some differences.

All money they spent has not been spent. And instead of a wereraven in the road, they meet Harkon Lukas.

The party tries to explain that they've already met, but Rudolph and Harkon are doubtful and dubious. They have no memory of meeting before. The party has no trust for Harkon, and one notices a silhouette in the woods. Maie runs at hearing Fin mention the fey, and comes to the figure.

Instead of it being Sunrunner, they run into a Martikov. Thet & Anika go after Maie, while the rest of the party deals with Harkon. Harkon offers a stay at the Old Kartakan Inn, with no strings attached, but the party turns him down and decide to go into Harmonia to investigate. They leave Harkon behind and set out into the woods.

The music is different. They hear singing. They go quiet.

They hear wolves.

And then they are ambushed by four werewolves, declaring that the party is trespassing into clan territory. They also mock them, telling the party that they'll eat them.

Initiative is rolled.

The first round is mostly uneventful, with both Artificers being able to provide some crowd control in the form of Web and a good distraction. Maie grants inspiration and creates a silvered dagger, but does not attack. At the end of the round, the werewolves go, and bite three times; Fin and Vychen fail their Con saves against lycanthropy. Varis saves.

Luckily, the party is level 5. Unluckily, Fin doesn't have Remove Curse prepped, and the full moon, in this timeline, is the following day.

Turn 2 comes around and there are crits galore, thanks to one werewolf becoming paralyzed and another still restrained in Web. One werewolf gets its head cut off by Rudolph, another gets its throat torn out by Vychen, and a third gets uppercutted unto death by the monk.

One got moonbeamed by Fin on his turn, turned back into an elf, looked ready to bolt, but took enough damage to kill on its turn and died. Fin bullied the fuck out of the poor kid once he turned back, cause the kid was like,

"Hey, hey, we're cool, right?" And Fin was like "You fucked up, kiddo."

And then he got yeeted.

The party reconvenes after everything is killed. Vychen reveals he's been bitten, and Fin immediately groans. Maie helps to heal Vychen's wounds since magic won't work. Blur takes Vychen aside for a chat, (secret corner time), basically telling him to bite him. Vychen asks why, and Blur explains that he's felt like shit recently, and he feels bad about just killing everything. So Vychen bites him, asks his true intentions, gets a 26 to his insight and learns Blur wants to try and befriend him. Vychen remarks on how a general should have allies, and Blur says "Not allies. Friends." And Vychen agrees, saying, "Friends, then." And ruffles his hair before returning to the party.

After a bit of bantering, they hop in the cart and begin heading for Harmonia.

So. Allow me to pull back the DM screen and explain what the fuck happened.

The party thinks it is a time loop. A couple think it is a fey illusion.

The real answer is a bit more devious, as I am running 2 Domains of Dread simultaneously. One is Bluetspur, the other is Kartakass.

The God-Brain is manufacturing one half of the events the party experienced. The other is the real events as they play out. The second line of events is what is real, the first line was fake.

In order to hint towards it, I am relying on music and musical cues. Especially since Kartakass is a domain of music. Of course there's a few other aspects (them meeting Harkon vs them meeting Sunrunner for example) to tip them off, but we'll see how long it'll take for them to realize which is the illusion.

The more they discover it, the harder the God-Brain will work. Eventually, they may have to engage it directly in order to free themselves from its grasp entirely, and it may be the way out of both domains. They'll have to play and see.

And I am very excited to see how they progress.

[kritomiesterbanta]

Cruel Summer [Part 3]

ABOUT: Y/N is still dealing with Shawn having to fake date Camila, but luckily has Connor to keep her company

WORD COUNT: 3,291

NOTES: Thank you all so much for all the sweet comments and encouragement! Also, if you are here for the “CONtent” then you will love this chapter! haha! I love and appreciate all the love and comments so please keep it up! 

Part 1 l Part 2 l Part 4

You had seen sadness in Shawn’s eyes when he had watched you climb into a different ride than him to the beach. The two of you likely would have been able to sneak in some hand holding during the ride there, but you also knew that you would still need to be careful, and it hadn’t felt worth the risk. If someone drove by that recognized Shawn and Camila things would likely need to be played up, and that just wasn’t something you were in the mood to deal with just yet. You were already more than aware of what was going to happen and go down at the beach, and after the display at lunch you could only take so much.

With Shawn’s SUV pulling up first you were able to see the crowds already beginning to gather as phones began to be pulled out. You supposed there wasn’t much of a way to hide at the beach given the fact that you weren’t ever wearing many clothes, but the point of today’s outing was for them to be seen, so you supposed it was working out in Shawn’s favor. It was still a little crazy to watch though. You were more than aware of your boyfriend’s celebrity status, but to you he was just Shawn, and it was crazy the way people swarmed around him, getting in his face for nothing more than a picture or a selfie.

Shawn was amazing about it though. The large crowds freaked you out, but he knew just how to manage them all, and it was clear that he loved his fans. He and Camila were clearly doing their thing as they took some pictures but finally managed to escape as they followed you, and the rest of your group out to the beach so you could all set up.

“You coming out with us Y/N?” Shawn asked after all the towels, beach chairs, umbrellas, and coolers had all been set up and laid out for the group to enjoy.

“Nah, I think I’m going to lay out and catch a little sun for awhile,” you explained as you moved to take a seat on one of the towels.

“You sure?” he asked, his face breaking character for a moment as his eyebrows furrowed in concern. You knew that he was feeling something after the two of you hadn’t ridden together, and now here you were declining to go out in the water, but you knew the stage was being set for him and Camila and you truly weren’t looking for a front row seat.

“Yeah, I’ll be out later. Just want to relax for a bit,” you assured him as you nodded out towards the water. “Go have fun,” you added, doing your best to show him that you were okay, even if on the inside your heart hurt just thinking about the show that was about to be put on.

“Okay, I’ll see you in a bit then,” he finally gave in as he too offered a small smile before reaching for Camila’s hand so he could lead her out to the water, more than assuring you that you had made the correct choice in choosing not to join. Actually, given the way that had already made you feel, you weren’t so sure that you would even want to head out into the water at all.

Making yourself comfy for likely the duration of the day you decide to take off your shorts and tank top before finally reaching into the small beach bag that you had packed and pulled out a pair of sunglasses. You had no plans to move anytime soon, especially as you caught some images of Shawn playing with Camila in the water, which had you deciding to lay back and enjoy the feel of the sun’s warm rays on your mostly bare skin.

Knowing what was happening out in that water was making it a bit hard to let go and relax, which is actually why you were up for the distraction as a figure caused a shadow to fall across your body. “You’re blocking my sun Brashier,” you joked as you opened your eyes to spot the very familiar face of one of your most favorite people these days.

“Oops, my bad,” he softly chuckled, clearly not feeling much remorse for what he had done, but thankfully he moved anyway as he took a seat on the towel next to you. “You put on some sunscreen right?” he asked, and while it could be taken as a bit of a joke, you knew he actually cared, which was weirdly adorable. Connor had grown rather protective over you these past few weeks and it certainly hadn’t gone unnoticed or unappreciated.

“Actually no, but I probably should. Why? You hoping to get a chance to rub it all over me?” you playfully asked, not actually sure where a comment like that had come from. If anyone were to have been listening in it might have sounded flirty, but you obviously weren’t flirting with Connor. If anything he was just becoming one of your best and closest friends.

“No, but I wouldn’t be opposed,” he joked on back as a soft giggle left your lips.

“Oh yeah, I’m sure Sha..Someone” you quickly corrected. “would love that” you sarcastically added with a soft shake of the head as you too sat up so you could reach into your bag for the sunscreen.

“Yeah, probably not. I wouldn’t want someone else’s hands all over my girlfriend,” he agreed, and while maybe he hadn’t been thinking about Shawn and Camila, in that moment that was directly where your mind had gone as you looked out towards the water to see Shawn with his arms clearly wrapped around Camila, with her own arms around him, and based on their stance her legs clearly wrapped around his waist. “Oh shit, I’m sorry Y/N. I shouldn’t have said that,” he quickly apologized after his eyes had followed yours. “I wasn’t thinking.”

“Don’t worry about it. It’s not your fault,” you cut him off, not wanting to talk or even think about Shawn at the moment. As much as you loved Shawn, and normally loved talking about him you just couldn’t do it right now. You needed to separate yourself from him and everything going on as much as possible.

“So,” you began as you poured some of the sunscreen into your hands so you could start rubbing it into your arms and your legs. “You not taking any video or pictures today?” you asked, not noticing his usual camera in his hands.

“Nah, I’m sure there will be enough footage of today,” he softly chuckled as he glanced around, and as your own gaze followed you could see not only some paparazzi, but all the people on the beach with their own cell phones out capturing the moment that you personally couldn’t wait to forget.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” you sigh as you continue to rub in the lotion, making sure to cover all of your uncovered skin. “Any chance I could get you to rub some on my back?” you ask, apparently catching him completely off guard, his cheeks turning an amusing shade of red.

“What? You sure it’s not weird?” he somewhat sputtered, his innocence and reaction making you laugh once more.

“No, not unless we make it weird. We’re old friends remember? It’s fine,” you playfully add and shrug, since you personally don’t see any problem with it. “You’d just be doing me a favor. Plus, it’s not like we’re doing any of that” you further offer as you once again nod out to where your boyfriend is with his arms wrapped around another woman.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” he finally gives in and agrees as he reaches for the bottle. You can tell he still feels weird about it, and you are about to tell him not to worry about it, but there seems to be no hesitation as he moves behind you and squirts some of the sunscreen into his hands before he moves to rub it in.

You start to wonder if maybe this wasn’t a good idea, since you hadn’t ever realized how personal this could feel or be, especially since his hands pretty much have free access to all of your back except for the small portion covered by your bikini. However, you have to admit it sort of feels good too as you close your eyes and take in the feeling as his hands move over your shoulders and down the back of your arms.

“Okay, I think I got it all,” he declares, bringing you out of your trance as you open your eyes and turn your head around to smile at him.

“Thanks Con, like I said earlier. You’re always there and always saving me,” you teased, trying to ease some of this weird tension you are feeling, even if you aren’t sure why.

“No problem Y/N,” he smiles back as he moves to take his spot once again on the towel next to you. From there the two of you fall into a comfortable silence as you both lay back and enjoy the beautiful day and the warm sunshine on your skin.

You are only brought back into reality when you hear the sound of a click, causing your eyes to spring open as you glance in the direction of where the sound came. “Connor Brashier!” you exclaim as you spot him with his camera, and an adorable sheepish grin. “I thought you said you weren’t going to be doing any picture taking or filming today,” you playfully accuse as your eyes narrow, even if he can’t see it behind your sunglasses covered eyes.

“I said I wasn’t planning on it, not that I didn’t bring my camera” he chuckled with a bit of a casual shrug. “Plus, you looked like a model laying there and I couldn’t pass up the picture,” he further explained as you rolled your eyes.

“You’re ridiculous, you know that?” you ask, even if your statement is followed with yet another soft giggle. “You’re lucky I love you, but actually I think we should get a picture. I think eventually I’ll someday want to remember this beach day..maybe,” you muse as you sit up and reach into your bag for your cell phone.

“You and your selfies,” he teases, and this time it’s his turn to laugh as you move to bring your faces next to each other so you can snap the picture. However, as soon as you snap it, you are surprised as you feel him reach for your sunglasses as he pulls them off your face and holds onto them. “Now one without. You need to show off your eyes. They are your best feature,” he declares, and while you give him a playful glare, you give in as you move to snap one more picture.

“Alright, sunglasses please?” you ask as you hold out your hand after posting the second picture onto your instagram.

“No, I don’t think so,” he decides as he holds them away from you as your eyes go wide in playful surprise. “I think if you want them you need to come and get them,” he further declares as he moves to stand up.

“And why do I need to do that?” you ask, not very convinced that you even want to get up from your comfortable spot in the sand and your towel.

“Because, you can’t lay out and miss out on going into the water. That’s lame,” he declared as if it were so obvious.

“I don’t know about that, I’m rather comfortable right where I am,” you smirk. Actually, you wouldn’t totally mind getting out there, but there is definitely a little something holding you back, and you have to imagine that Connor knows exactly what that is.

“Well, then it looks like I’m just going to have to make you go out there,” he casually states as he takes a few steps towards you.

“Connor..” you trail, your eyes narrowing, this time him being able to see it clearly due to the fact that your glasses are still in his hand, or at least they were until you watch as he lightly tosses them onto his towel. You weren’t sure if it was his plan or not to distract you, but it had definitely worked as your attention went to your sunglasses as he quickly closes off the rest of the distance between the two of you.

“Connor!” you loudly shriek as he easily reaches for you and lifts you up and over his shoulder almost as if you weigh nothing, even if you are wiggling and putting up somewhat of a fight.

“I warned you..” he countered as he began to make his way towards the water, as you continue to call out his name in playful warning, even if there are also loud giggles accompanying your pleas as well.

It doesn’t take long till you are both out in the water, and thankfully he sets you down softly instead of just throwing you in like he very easily could have done. However, that certainly doesn’t mean you are going to just let all of this go. “You’re dead Brashier,” you confidently declare as your eyes once again narrow as you move to splash some water at him, as he does his best to dodge it.

Soon, the two of you are in a full blown water fight as you chase each other, each of you trying to get the other more wet or dunk the other under the ocean water.

“Okay, okay,” you surrender as you hold up your hands, your stomach hurting from laughing so hard. “You win, you win,” you fully give in, him nodding and laughing as well. It is only then with you having a bit of a break that you catch the eyes of your boyfriend just a short distance away, an unreadable look in his eye.

Normally you are always able to tell what is going through his mind, but right now you can’t fully make it out as your eyes fully meet. In this moment you really don’t know what to think as the two of you seem to now be sending the other a questioning look.

“What?’ you mouth as you tilt your head to the side, but instead he just shakes his head and turns back to Camila, and even from here you can see that his smile is half assed.

“What was that about?” Connor asks, you forgetting for a moment that he was close by, and had likely watched the whole exchange.

“I’m not sure,” you admit as you run your hands through your completely wet hair, pushing it all back and out of your face.

“Well are you at least glad you got up and out into the water?” he asked, changing the subject, doing what Connor does best as he distracts you from all of your worries.

“As much as I hate to admit it, yes,” you loudly and dramatically sigh before you both let out another soft laugh.

The two of you spend the next twenty or so minutes wading in the water, playing in the waves, and chatting about random things. As much as you don’t really want to do it, you know that the two of you should probably head over to Shawn and the rest of your group, especially since everyone seems to be congregating over there.

“Are you sure?” Connor asks, reminding you all over again just how thankful you are for his friendship.

“Yeah, gotta face the music sometime,” you shrug, knowing that you’d have to deal with it, and you might as well do it now, even if it will likely bring down the fun mood you’ve surprisingly been in for the majority of your beach day.

“Hey everyone,” you smile as you and Connor come over, making sure to make eye contact with Shawn in particular. Unfortunately that same unreadable look can be seen in his eyes.

“You having fun?” Shawn softly asks once everyone else seems to be caught up in their own conversations, and as you try and ignore the fact that his arm is still wrapped around Camila while she chats with a few others.

“Yeah, it’s actually been a surprisingly fun day,” you admit, a sincere smile on your face as you reminisce not only about your beach day, but having walked back to the hotel with Connor, and also having “helped” him edit some concert footage.

“I could tell,” he grumbles, sounding anything but happy with your confession, catching you somewhat off guard.

“Why are you saying it like that?” you ask, confusion clearly showing through.

“I’m sorry, it’s just been a long day,” he sighs as he does his best to hide the fact that he is clearly going through something, and not his normal self.

“It’s okay, I get it,” you assure him, even if you kind of sort of don’t. He’s never been like that with you, and you honestly don’t get why he would be now, but at least you can understand today being a long and weird day.

“I think we just need to talk tonight after we get back. Maybe cancel dinner with everyone else and just order in some room service,” he suggests as you shrug your shoulders, actually liking the idea of some alone time, but also feeling weird about the idea of the two of you needing to have some kind of “talk”.

“Yeah, that’s fine. Whatever you want ba..Shawn,” you once again find yourself correcting, and while it’s only you, and the rest of your group out there, and you know no one would bat an eye to you calling him your usual ‘babe’ pet name, there is just something about him having his arm around Camila that holds you back.

You can tell he notices as he breaks character for a moment and his brows furrow, but soon you are both distracted as Camila pats Shawn on the chest to get his attention to listen to a funny story that Brian is telling.

The rest of the day at the beach thankfully goes by pretty fast, and you are definitely ready to head back to the hotel, and more than ready to get away from Camila, and the show that had been put on there.

As everyone goes to get into the SUV’s to drive them back you feel someone grab your wrist as you glance down towards the hand, before glancing up to see Shawn’s face as he immediately drops it. “Ride with us,” he pleads, and honestly you are torn.

Looking up ahead you can see Connor heading towards one of the other SUV’s, and truthfully that route seems much more appealing. “Please,” you hear him beg, which almost seals the deal, but you find yourself shaking your head.

“I think I’m going to ride back with Conner and the rest of the guys, but we’ll hang out tonight okay?” you offer, afraid that he’ll be upset, but honestly, it’s more frustration and sadness that you see wash over him as he nods his head and moves to get in after Camila.

“I’ll see you soon,” you softly call after him as he looks back and gives you a half assed smile before shutting the door behind him. It’s hard not to sigh and feel a bit dejected as you walk and make your way over to your own ride, but you know that you are only looking out for yourself, and right now that is something you need to do, and you hope that is something that Shawn understands.

[stefandesofia]

Darkest Fear

I really thought a lot about how I want to do it. I didn’t want to suffer a lot, so it had to be fast, real fast. But I also wanted it to be easy, since I just couldn’t be bothered working for it. The options were there, and I spend a long time weighing every one in my mind. All the pros, all the cons. Until I found the best option. 

Considered slitting my wrists. It’s very popular, every movie with these themes has at least one scene with someone slitting their wrists (and remember kids, it’s down the river, not across the street!). But this is just too played out. It’s the first thing you think of. I also had to go find a razor, since using a knife would just be barbaric. And it would have been painful, cutting flesh. And it would leave a mess that SOMEONE would have to clean later. No, I wanted to go another route.

I thought about jumping from a high place. It’s fast, a measly 8-10 seconds and it’s done. But the damn survival instinct would kick in the moment I jump and I’d just have been in agony for all of these 8-10 seconds. Regretting it for the rest of my life, as it were. And that’s no fun. No, had to keep searching.

Taking a butt load of pills is another option. It’s fast, mostly painless, and it’s effective depending on the pills you take. But then I still had to source the pills. And make sure that I have enough. And then take them. I never was great at taking pills, they would always get stuck in my throat. No, no, that wouldn’t do either. 

Hanging myself? I don’t live in a 17th century country manor, so no rafters from which to hang the rope, and just hanging it from the lamp obviously won’t work. It’s also a lot of agony and just as much regret. It can take several minutes, especially having a strong neck. It will just be terrible. That wasn’t it either.

A gun? For obvious reasons (me not owning a gun) I couldn’t do that, and getting certified for gun ownership and proving that I am mentally stable, just to do the opposite and shoot myself, it’s just too much work.

Starving myself? Electrocution? Fire? Animal attack? At that point I was just throwing shit at the wall to see which parts stick. Turns out it was a bit too solid and nothing was sticking. Too much fibre, I think.

So I was driving home from work, when it hit me. A car crash. People are already dying left and right from that without actually wanting to. And how easy it would be to do it intentionally. So I devised a plan. Took a shot of rum for courage, got in the car and started driving. I had to do it right if it was going to work. Physics-wise, I have to be going no more than 55 km/h to end myself. Just have to take the belt off and that should do it. I was thinking the highway, since I can really pick up the speed there, and really make sure it worked. I got up on the highway, and really picked up speed. 100 km/h. 110 km/h. 130 km/h. 140 km/h. That’s the legal limit, so I didn’t feel comfortable going above that. And that’s ultimately the goal here. Feeling comfortable. 

I unbuckled the belt (didn’t want to do it too early and waste the chance), I closed my eyes, and let go of the wheel. 

It was really peaceful for a while there. The hum of the engine, the soft tunes coming in from the radio. 

Then the tire started scraping in the side of the road. I kept pressing the pedal. Soon, the car hit a bump, got over the little fence thing on the side of the road and lurched. 

That’s the last I remember. 

I’ve always been hardy. Basically had a single broken bone in my life, and that was when I was skiing full speed and both my skis got stuck under a rock and stopped dead in their tracks, literally bending my legs the wrong way around. And even then all it was, was a hairline fracture. Something that was fixed in 2 weeks. I’ve never had a nosebleed, no matter how smashed I have had my face. We were playing dodgeball in school way back when, and we didn’t have dodgeball balls, so instead the PE teacher gave us basketballs... Model educator there... Anywho, I got hit in the face, directly, by the strongest kid there. He was 2 meters tall, and had a moustache already. We were in 6th grade. I couldn’t put my hands in front of my face and I got hit head on. I literally blacked out from the hit to my face, and mostly nose (it’s not a small thing). When I came to, 3-4 minutes later, my face was red, but I was unscathed. Cuts heal within hours, stitches can be taken out within a couple days, bruises heal fast, a twisted ankle was healed within a few days, even. 

So with that in mind, how could I have been so lucky, as to have totalled the car, literally opened it up like a tin can, the engine was found 300 meters away from the rest of the car, and still not manage to kill myself. 

Not that I’m out and about. I fell into a sleepless coma. I can still see and hear everything, but I can’t do anything. Did you know that you can’t focus your eyes when in a coma, even if they are open? Yup, I am constantly focused on a point, about 50 cm away from my face. That TV that is working opposite of me? I can only really see the colors of it. The faces of the visitors, mostly smudges. 

The nurse is nice, at least. I middle aged woman, I think, her name is Ioanna. Maybe... Can’t exactly ask... She takes good care of me, washes me, massages my arms and legs. Even talks to me about her problems. Apparently she hates her job. Taking care of the people in the “living dead” ward, as she calls it. Every day, changing diapers, washing shit, wiping drool. But she does it, cause she has an ungrateful little brat to take care of. 

Waste of time. 

How I wish euthanasia was legal here! How I wish I could say I want it. I want it to be over, I want to not be a burden any more, I want to just be free, to not feel any more, to not think any more. 

And now, all I have are my feelings. All I have are my thoughts. I can’t escape them. I can’t distract myself, I can’t keep the darkness away. 

I want to scream, I want to thrash about, I want to hurt everyone around me, and I want to hurt myself, but all I can do is stare blankly into the near distance. In silence. All I can do is lie here. 

All I can do is suffer...

[popculturebuffet]

Ducktales 87 Review: A Whale of A Bad Time (Catch as Cash Can Part 2)

A SEA MONSTER ATE MY ICE CREAM! Yup come with me under the cut as I cover one of the most infamous moments of all Ducktales.. and the absolutely bonkers episode attached involving robot ice cream trucks, giant robotic whales, Optimus Prime as a navy admiral, and semen.. er seaman Donald Duck!  All of this and more commissioned by @weirdkev27​ is waiting under the ocean and under the cut! Come aboard!

So yeah....

And not the adventure time or regular show or what have you kind of intetionally weird I mean all the elements just sort of conjeal into a mess of poor decisions in and out of universes, robotic whales and the most insane scheme to get a noble peace prize of all time. If that and the intro didn’t hook you I don’t know what will, let’s do this. 

PREVIOUSLY ON DUCKTALES:

Okay maybe not THAT previously... guess I gotta do this myself. *Grumble grumble* : Last time we met a steoyptical-ish foreign leader give Scrooge and Glomgold a deadline to literally weigh their fortunes in his country at ten days, with Glomgold’s sending the Beagle Boys after Scrooge in an attempt to cheat.. and springing from jail in a giant blimp shaped like a cow because your guess is as good as mine. Scrooge naturally won and here we are. As said last time, these episodes were still basically written as done in ones, able to be digested on their own, just with the overall framework of the four parter, in this case Scrooge and Glomgold’s contest, tieing it together. So with that out of the way. 

We open as Duckburg is hit with a heatwave. 

No that’s Heat Wave.. and besides he works out of central city, not Duckberg silly.. wherever those images come from.. me I guess? I dunno. Point is the boys are sweaty and uncomfortable, just like me 90 percent of the time, and decide to cool off by visiting Scrooge’s new ice cream factory for free samples. We’re only about a minute, and a recap about the contest on the news, in and already the characters this episode are acting kind of dumb.. get used to it. One of Scrooge’s primary, most consistent, most iron clad character traits is he does NOT give away something for nothing. Even for Charity he’ll often try and pench pennies and how much he donates, and in older harsher comics like Carl Barks famous “A Christmas For Shacktown” good luck getting him to donate any money to anyone else AT ALL. If he DOES give someone a gift, it’s usually with an alterior motive or some sort of scheme brewing, with Donald or the Nephews or all four rightly questioning him. The idea any factory of any product of his would give out samples unless he got something out of doint so or that they wouldn’t be tiny or use flavors that don’t sell or some cost cutting measure like that is nuts and while it’s not out of the boys characters to be stupid it is a bit for them to just blindly think he’d be okay with this.  Their soon distracted by other matters once they arrive though as the Guard won’t let them in despite being Huey, Dewey and Louie as much like bill and ted their a package deal, and yes they do a team pose and yes.. it’s actually pretty adorable. Again nepotism has never been a trait of scrooges either boys, why would he start now? They try flagging down one of his ice cream  trucks but they totally ignore him. and seem to be driving automatically... they also look human which... yeah. Just.. yeah. The boys are naturally suspicious and plan to ask scrooge at Dinner. This fails because Scrooge isn’t coming and Beakly refuses to let them disturb him on his orders.. and refused to let Webby eat till everyone’s at the table. I’ll come back to Beakly in a second, and there will be blood dumpster. 

The boys sleep that night, but are woken up by the ice cream trucks and wondering why the hell their running at night... which yeah is weird and was a bad part of the plan. We’ll get to why that plan’s a bit totally fucked in a second though as the boys assume someone is doing something shady with scrooge’s company and pull a Marty McFly, attaching their skateboards to a bumper and then hopping onto one of the trucks. And given that Magica, the Beagle Boys and Flintheart have all gone up at scrooge several times at this point judging by the episode guides, not to mention all the one off thieves, scumbags, con artists and warlords they’ve fought, you honestly can’t blame them for being super suspicious. 

Their suspcions of this being some kind of elaborate theft are semeingly confirmed when instead of , and this is really the flavor they use “Bubble Gum Pistachio Fudge” they find Scrooge’s money. And let’s just take a sec to .. unpack that flavor as none of those go together. I mean in a three scoop cone or bowl maybe, but in the same ice cream your just throwing shit together at that point. And the flavor isn’t outlandish enough to really be a good joke.

 I’ts just three flavors jammed together that don’t belong. It’s not like the, ironically in the same year, 87 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle’s love for weird pizza toppings. That.. actually comes off as a joke. It didn’t always land in the episodes i’d seen but I get what their going for. Thanks to this infographic I know they put ALL of this on pizza at some point, omitting actual pizza toppings for obvious reasons: Granola, Licorice, Fudge, Marshmallows, Clams, Peanut Butter, Avacado (Which didn’t sound bad in theory but once I thought about it I winced), Pickles, Asparagus, Butterscotch, Onions (Yes I know this is an actual regular pizza topping but no just.. no.. everyone hones in on anchovies, which i’ve never had but no.. onions are the real scourge of the pizza world), Toast, Tea (okay that one actually shocked me), Clam Sauce, Chocolate Sprinkles, Jelly Beans, Yogurt, Coconut, Strawberries, Oatmeal, Grape Jelly, Gucamole, Tuna, Popcorn, Sardines, Whipped Cream, Bannans and Goulash. The point i’m making is it’s not hard to come up with even a weak wacky flavor of something and it was  a weird line to just utterly botch but they somehow did it. Also that the Teenage Mutant Turtles have serious issues to address. I mean onions, really? onions? Guys you can do better... onions are a next mutation topping!

One Tangent Later, the boys and the trucks arrive at the docks where they see the money filled ice cream trucks loading onto a boat and a shadowy mystery man. Who could it be? My money is on

But my money is always on Crab People. It’s likely why i’m poor. But the boys chuck a bag of cash at him, then Louie... prepares to break his legs with a crowbar?

Seriously the truck was automated and they came straight form home. he had to have brought that with him. Whelp at least Louie has a unique character trait: He likes to make people bleed. I don’t know if that’s necessarily a GOOD thing for a 8-10 year old to want to do but it’s better than nothing. Before Louie can get up to a bit of the ultra violence, Huey finds out it’s Scrooge who explains himself: Naturally the sudden new Ice Cream Factory he built in days right next to the bin is a front, and the trucks are his own, a stealthy way to outfox glomgold. While the news said he was transporting the loot by air, he’s doing it by sea stealthily to prevent glomgold from attacking it. Which given he hasn’t a giant cow Zepplin, fair enough. 

The rest of this though is ludicrously overcomplicated: First off it’s not REMOTELY stealthy to build a giant fake factory next to your bin, days before you transport your cash, something so obvious i’m suprised Glomgold dind’t just come to the factory himself and set some explosives. Second while Robot Drivers isn’t a bad idea, Glomgold has many spies with many eyes, it’s a BIG gamble to both have active trucks around, especially at night carrying large sums of cash. I mean what if the police stopped them? Sure Scrooge could get his money back legally, but Flintheart might get to it first or bribe some cops first. Or some dirty cops might take it for themselves. It’s also WEIRDLY costly for someone as spiendthrift as Scrooge, I mean while he owns the land for the factory he had to buy a ton of trucks, pay for gyro’s, i’m assuming Gyro’s at least, material to make the robots, and pay for the guard to keep people out as well as presumibly either well paid workers or more robots inside to get the money into the trucks. It’s just hilariously overcomplicated and while not an intentional joke clearly got a laugh out of me as it just makes no logical sense for scrooge’s character and he’s done similar ideas for far less money in the comics. It’s a carl barks style “hide the money bin’s cash” plot, funnled through bloodshot eyes of someone having done a small mountain of cocaine to get this script done on time and I love it for that. The boys applaud their uncle for his wacky scheme while a mysteroius periscope watches them from a distance. 

The Next Morning Beakly is still awful as despite everyone being there, she now refuses to let Webby eat till everyone’s settled. And NOW we can talk about 87 Beakly. I don’t like her. She’s had one or two moments in the episodes I watched, but outside of that she’s a bland character who mostly fusses over the boys and webby, worries things are too dangerous, or is there for a weak joke. She’s just not all that intresting, and while i’ll grant the 87 Ducktales cast isn’t the deepest set of characters and the boys can be annoying depending on the episode.. their at least INTRESTING. The boys are clever, rambunctions and curious, Webby has all of that and an underlying swetness that while cloying at times is mostly just really endearing, Launchpad is a klutz and a crash magnet but means well and keeps trying and genuinely is a good scoutleader and person, and Scrooge despite his rough edges is a hardscrabbled adventuerer. The rest of the main cast here at least has a drive and character to them that makes the stories work when their at their best. Beakly is just kinda.. there. Why I also go into this is because 87 Webby gets a lot of shit.. and she really dosen’t deserve it. Yes she’s clearly a studio executives idea of what a little girl should like and that’s bad. And yes she got kidnapped a bunch.. but so did everyone else. But she makes up for that by being the heart of the team, offering love and empathy to all of them, easily bonding with varous animals and people they meet, and genuinely offering a naive but optimistic worldview that nicely contrasts with scrooge and the boys understandable cyncism. And she CAN handle herself more often than not. Wheras frank and co basically took almost everything about beakly and started over with Webby they simply tweaked her for the times: Made her about the same age if not older than the triplets so their equals, took away the triplet’s outdated and utterly loathsome sexisim, and added badassery and intellegence to her already admirable emotional skills and naive optimism, along with some boundless energy on top.They took a decent character and made her an amazing one.  With Beakly.. they took a dodering, easily frightned old lady whose overly proper and stuffy and turned her into a taciturn, snarky, badass former secret agent whose the sanest person in the mansion and when she IS wrong, will not only admit it but usually had some good reason for it. She also goes from being mostly deferent to scrooge to one of his few equals, to the point that the “87 Cent Solution!” lampshades the fact that if they’d called her the episode would’ve been over, as she’s , outside of a few exceptions the one person he listens to. She’s a throughly likeable, throughly complex character and one i’m glad their doing more with this season while I really hope I don’t see the original her more than I have to.  Okay with that rant done for this and any future retro ducktales reviews, we can get to the reason your all here and Kev comissioned me to do all 4 of these episodes: You’ve seen it on youtube, you’ve seen it in “Let’s get Dangerous”, you’ve seen it in dreams, ladies, gentleman and others, A. SEA. MONSTER. ATE. MY. ICE. CREAM. 

As the family sits for pancakes, Wippleman, Scrooge’s accountant and what I can only assume is this universe’s version of WWE manager Harvey Wippleman, comes in and has some bad news for Scrooge: A Sea Monster of some kind sunk one of his ships.. but the good news it was only Ice Cream. Knowing what it really was Scrooge goes absolute APE shit and procedes to hop around the table going absolutely insane, destroying everyone’s breakfast, with poor webby bemoaning she’ll never get to eat, Beakly remarking “it must’ve been some ice cream’ which isnt’ a bad line, Huey explaning what’s up with the weirdly delivered “It was half his fort-une!” and the boys finally restraining Scrooge with an impromptu tablecloth straightjacket, which calms him down and he hops off to get his money back. Wether you’ve seen the scene for yourself and ESPECIALLY if somehow you haven’t, it’s right here if you want to take another look. 

This scene is not only the most remembered part of the special, and easily the most beloved, it’s one of the best scenes in all of Ducktales 87 and easily one of the funniest across duck canon. Everything just clicks: The concept, the animation showing off just how manic scrooge is, how he never does the same move twice, how rather than looping it Alan Young very clearly said the word a bunch of times each time with a different more manic and uniquely hilarious delivery, Beakly’s deadpan reaction, and the boys vain attempts to restrain him before finally succeeding. Everything about this works and in an otherwise just really off center episode, this sparkling gem of a scene stands out. I waited till now to talk about Alan Young’s scrooge and honestly the man defined the roll for a reason: he can do a dramatic or emotional delivery just as effortlessly as a comic bit like this, and plays the character with the sternness and stubbornness expected. He got the character perfectly and it’s unsurprising Frank and Matt wanted him to reprise the roll and he only didn’t because he sadly passed on, though I will say David Tenant is a perfect replacement. Though even HE couldn’t do the Sea Monster Ate My Ice Cream bit as well as Alan, as his felt a bit more stilted and was clearly looped, but really I don’t think anyone could top him at this. It’s his shining moment as the character and he earned it square. 

So getting back to the ten car pileup that is the rest of this episode, the boys and Scrooge head under the sea, doot doot doot, to find his ship. But while under water they instead find the navy who’ve quarantined the ship.. yet aren’t wearing face masks inside their little suits. How odd. Guess the giant glass dome and giant ocean of water between them and the ship helps but still, you can’t be too careful.  Point is both sides are being kind of douchey: The Naval Guards, rather than direct Scrooge to their superior to PROVE it’s his vessel and ask questions to him directly since their aircraft carrier soon turns out not to be far from here just tell him he can’t pass and Scrooge is as bill gerent as you’d expect. I’m not saying people aren’t this dumb in real life, just google any video of a karen of any gender throwing a giant tantrum in a store over masks, i’m just saying i’td be nice to move the plot along without unnecessary cul de sacs.  The boys however naturally have a way around this and sneak in with scrooge on the underside of a sea turtle. It’s a genuinely clever tactic. They find the ship with a large bite out of it.. and the Navy then swoop in to take them in. 

On the ship Scrooge continues to not help his case and pulls a classic old white guy and demands to see their superior. Or white person in particular really. Point is he throws a strop on their way to what could easily be a trip to the brig with his behavior and possible criminal charges, while the boys muse that this is Donald’s ship. For the uninitiated, the in-series reason Donald left the boys for this series was he was called back to the Navy, and thus left the boys with Scrooge. Out of series it was an executive mandate: As Tad Stones, future creator of Darkwing Duck and story editor for Ducktales 87, explained, and I found out about this via looper, Disney was nervous about having one of their biggest characters overexposed by having him as part of 65 episode tv show. This was combined with the fact they were worried Donald’s voice would make stories confusing.  I also believe, if with no proof there was at third reason: Tony Anselmo had just started as Donald Duck, taking over from the late great Clarence Nash at Nash’s request after Nash died in 85, and they likely feared putting Tony through such a ringer this soon might sour audiences on him before audiences had gotten used to the new voice actor. So with all this Donald was kept to the occasional guest roll, though I will say while there have been complaints about Donald’s voice on this show I have no issue with it. It’s not as good as the reboot.. but the reboot also comes after Tony’s been playing the roll for over 30 years and is just as iconic as his predecessor in the roll at this point versus two years after his mentor died and he picked up his sword.. or squawky duck voice in this case. 

Scrooge is escorted to Admiral Grimitz, the head of this aircraft carrier whose showed up in other Donald episodes, specifically his segment of the Treasure of the Golden Suns series opener. He’s the gruff but mostly fair head of the ship and is voiced by, of all the va’s possible, Peter “Optimus Prime” Cullen, using a voice that is DIFFRENT but not by much. It’s hard not to be distracted by it. The Admiral waves scrooge off from his entirely justified fear the Army stole his money, but refuses to give any details since i’ts classified. Scrooge angrily.. decides to do the next shipment anyway and tells them to stay out of it instead of calling the president like he threatened to get some answers. Or threaten to pull funding for his military contracts. I know Scrooge never would, but they don’t know that. It’s just.. odd to see scrooge give up and it would’ve made more sense if the Admiral threatened legal action first or something that would get him to back off.  The Admiral then brings in Donald, and gives him the truth: Their own scientist, Dr. Bluebottle, stole an experimental sub shaped like a whale and stole the money for reasons they don’t know. So since he can go undercover easily, he sends Donald to go with scrooge and slaps a transmitter on him so they can track him. Donald also does some slapstick. That’s my boy. And yes it was a very nice surprise to see him again since i’d forgot he was in this episode. Especially since aside from “The Trickining!” he hasn’t been in any episodes since Ducktales came back. Justifably though as none of those NEEDED him and the show’s massively improved from it’s “donald might as not well exist” days of season 1, I just miss him is all and it’s nice to see some form of him again.  And this is where the episode kinda lost me, as this scheme, while not really out of the bounds of the reality, just.. feels like it overcomplicates the plot for the sake of padding. I mean I buy the Government going iwth a far more complex plan to cover their own asses.. but it would’ve made more sense from a plot standpoint to have it go this way: The Admiral is honest with Scrooge, tells him about bluebottle.. and threatens him into helping them by pointing out he broke into a federal quarantine and defined naval orders and could be brought up on charges, and if he tired telling anyone about Bluebottle could likewise be tried for leaking federal secrets. That way instead of using an unknowing scrooge as bait he goes into the situation KNOWING he’s probably going to get captured and while grumbly about it uses it to his advantage. Donald could still plausibly be sent along as naval lisaon/as a seemingly nice act/to have the bug to track the sub. Instead it just feels like they added an extra uncessary step to things to pad the episode more. I mean if you needed to do that just add more of the sea monster or give launchpad a cameo. He’s been missing for days at this point. 

So Scrooge and family, which naturally includes Webby and Beakly even if I don’t like classic bleakly she’s still family, head out with the second half of his fortune which makes next to no sense when he has days left in the concept and you know, half is missing, but whatever. Naturally the obvious happens and we meet the famous Sea Monster.. which actually looks neat.. it’s drawn like your standard cartoony killer whale but has bits of indents much like a sub would to show it’s not entirely a beast. It’s a nice bit of design work. The whale eats the cash and Donald and Scrooge but the navy pick up the boys, webby and beakly.  Donald let’s things slip on the sub, while back at the carrier the good Admiral explains the rest and my other issues with the plot aside this scene is a good bit of exploition as it explains some obvious questions away cleverly, something this plot could’ve used more of frankly but it’s refreshing to get at least a little: The reason they don’t just attack the sub en masse, besides it being you know incredibly valuable is that it’s made to be torpedo resistant, it’s sonar resitant so they can’t track it easily, and it’s faster than any ship. After all it was made to be a super weapon, so naturally the carriers standard barrage of navy vehicles can’t match it. However again to the episodes credit the tracker is actually vitally important, as it allows them to see the ship and where it is, so they can attack.. though right now their holding off on it since a crewman and a civilian are on board but if it comes down to it they’ll have no choice. I also gotta admit..t his concept is pretty cool. Kind of ridiculous? Sure but a super sub shaped like a whale that can still bite like one and outrun and outlast any other sea vehicle? It’s undoubtly awesome and a point in this episodes favor.  But now we get to most gloriously insane and convoluted part of the episode.. yes NOW we do. Donald and Scrooge naturally sneak around the ship, and find Dr. Bluebottle at his controls, talking to Flintheart on a video monitor. Turns out, to no one’s surprised, Flintheart subcontracted out his plans to Bluebottle and in exchange for keeping the money under the ocean till the contest, Glomgold is going to make sure he gets the Nobel Prize, and covers on all the magazines.  Okay at first I genuinely thought this plan made no sense.. until I realized it does, but ONLY for Glomgold. Bluebottle comes off as the smartest moron that’s ever lived for agreeing to any of this. But I have to give Glommy this the plan works out great for him: He convinces an already Rogue scientist to steal scrooge’s money, which prevents Scrooge from finding out what’s going on as he, correctly, guessed the government would cover this up because of course they did. He then correctly figured either the government would work with scrooge to trap bluebottle or they’d just use scrooge as bait anyway without a formal agreement, thus netting him scrooge’s entire fortune. He knows bluebottle won’t take it up because he gave bluebottle a bribe specifically for him and the only thing he wants, and even if he does take the money, Glomgold has more and Bluebottle could still remotely blow up the sub or something. And if he can’t the Navy would have to hold the sub, and money included , as evidence for the trial. And even if Bluebottle DOES rat him out, Glomgold could easily bury the evidence. The only way glomgold gets caught is if Bluebottle recorded their video chats or if scrooge saw them talking.. which he did, but given the two are direct competitors his testimony is dubious at best as is donald’s. So basically Flintheart almost certainly wins no matter what, and Bluebottle takes the fall no matter what. It does make Bluebottle comeff as a massive moron for not thinking of this, but props to glomgold.  Also yeah.. it’s clear to me at this point that if he hasn’t said it somewhere Frank clearly did the same thing he did with Gyro here with Flintheart: Take one accidental trait from the original (Glomgold’s penchant for overly complicated schemes and Gyro’s tendency to make robots that go rogue.) and make it a part of their personality instead of just a coincidence and turn it up to 11 for hilarity.. which worked in both cases. I genuinely thought this Flintheart was saner but no he’s just less interesting.  So Bluebottle gets an intruder alert.. and turns around to find Scrooge and Donald. Who rather than just whap the guy on the head while his back is turned, just stood there to confront him directly. 

Look this review is running long and is behind, I don’t have more time to marvel over how plot conveniently stupid they are being right now. A fight ensues with blue bottles inventions till Donald threatens to pull a big lever. I’ts thankfully not the self destruct lever like Donald thinks or Bluebottle’s equivlent of the blow up the engine button because he’s clearly just that smart, but a lever to dump all the gold.. which isn’t a terrible idea for once as if the ship gets stalled it can float up, as we’ll naturally see as there was no way they weren’t going to pull this chekov’s lever at some point. Scrooge stops him, Bluebottle uses gadgets to tie both up and finds out about the bug , as that’s why the miltary have been able to attack him which happened but I didn’t get to becuse of all the stupid. Bluebottle snuffs it out and then fully assaults the aircraft carrier, and things look grim. But Scrooge and Donald aren’t put down that easily and escape and scrooge pulls a donald and just starts breaking shit and breaks the sub.  Now with the sub plumiting, and Bluebottle bragging that only he can fix it as the sub will just keep sinking into the ocean’s depths.. and that only it’s design has kept compression from crushing them to death. But Scrooge has another solution and a suprisingly, and badassingly self sacrifical one: He dumps the money into the marinara trench, nice pun, and thus the whale floats up, Bluebottle is arrested, and Glomgold... still wins for now as Scrooge still has to get his fortune out, but Scrooge figures Gyro can help with that. We get an everybody laughs ending and we’re out. 

Final Thoughts: This one is a mess. While it has a great moment here or there, Donald and Tony as him are fantastic as they are now, and of course A Sea Monster Ate My Ice Cream! is an utterly classic scene and an utter joy to watch. The attached episode is just a mess structurally, if still a fun watch. Yes despite my bitching about it the sheer slapped together nature of it means it’s fun to pick apart and make fun of, so it’s not unwatchable. I’ve seen worse episodes of this very show, and worse episodes of tv. But as an old friend would say.

Not a terrible sit, but it easily could’ve been better. I’m also getting tired of scrooge being enitrely usless and just throwing up his hands at times. Stop that he’s better than that. With this one THANKFULLY AND FINALLY out of the way, next up is Aqua Ducks....... 

Oh god. Well if you want to see the next one follow me. If there’s an episode of any animated show you’d like to see me cover classic ducktales, modern ducktales, disney in general, etc, etc, just send me a PM and you can comission a review. 5 bucks for one episode, 15 for a movie and 5 bucks off one episode when you order three or more like say a multiparter like this. Until then say safe, check your house for Busey’s and hopefully we’ll meet again. 

[bipercabeth]

24 and 48

“You’re getting crumbs all over my bed” + “You’re so fucking hot when you’re mad”

Percy is never more grateful for Annabeth’s Yankees hat than the moment he realizes they can use it to sneak him into her dorm room after visiting hours. Sure, there are all the times its existence has saved their lives (and by extension, the world) on quests, but what’s that compared to unlimited alone time with his gorgeous girlfriend?

Well, unlimited alone time is a bit of a stretch. It’s mostly just Percy staring at Annabeth while she studies or draws up blueprints, but he’s happy to do it if it means being around her. He loves spending the weekends with her at camp or his mom’s, but counting down the days to see her is tiring. This arrangement is much better.

He’s been coming after class long enough for them to settle into a routine: Annabeth sets up at her desk, laptop, blueprint, or notebook in front of her while Percy sits on her bed, making as little noise as possible to avoid disturbing her.

Percy studies in his free time too, except his subject is Annabeth.

Her bed is on the same wall as her desk, giving Percy a perfect view of her profile while she works. Sometimes light will filter in through the window above her desk, highlighting her collarbone and her honey blonde hair, which is almost always in a ponytail or bun. On more casual days, she’ll leave it down, but that’s rare at this point in the school year. Occasionally the red coral on her beaded necklace will glint in the light, catching Percy’s eye from across the room.

On other, cloudier days, the only light comes from a dim desk lamp. Those days are for studying shadows and the way they fall across her eyes when her brows furrow in focus, her nose when it scrunches up in concentration. Her hands cast long shadows across the desk as she works, her fingers warping in the light to look like giant spiders typing away at a shadow-keyboard.

He’d never tell her any of this out loud.

The no noise rule means no loud snacks, he’s found out. Nothing bothers Annabeth more than the sound of Percy’s chewing when she’s trying to focus (she’s reminded him several times). He makes sure to save something other than chips from his lunch on the days he goes to see her.

Today’s project is an essay, one that is apparently really important for the class that makes or breaks her grade for the whole semester. Stress rolls off of Annabeth in waves as she types furiously at her laptop, her fingers attacking the backspace key more often than any of the others.

So of course today is the one day Percy only has half of a can of Pringles can left in his lunchbox. Of course.

He makes a mental pro-con list about taking them out to eat. Pros: it’s been a long day without much to eat, he’s needs something to do with his hands, and he’s getting hungry. Cons: angry girlfriend.

In the end, he figures his rumbling stomach will be just as much as a distraction as eating, and he decides to bite the bullet. The first thirty seconds of opening the can go fine – he gets it out and open without Annabeth so much as glancing his way. Percy watches her carefully, keeping track of her eyes moving across the screen to make sure they don’t waver.

The next thirty seconds are not so fortunate.

Percy would like to speak with the team who decides the Pringles target demographic, because honestly, whose hand is small enough to fit in these things? The answer: not Percy. His hand gets caught about a third of the way down.

Don’t panic, he thinks as he glances back up at Annabeth. Inspiration must’ve struck in the middle of his predicament, because her spine is straight and her eyes are alight with a maniacal, almost mad scientist sort of excitement. She’s seriously beautiful.

And somehow, she’s dating Percy, who is staring at her like an idiot with his hand stuck in a Pringles can. Since when was fate this kind to him?

“You’re getting crumbs all over my bed.”

“I’m sorry?”

Annabeth looks away from her laptop to glare at Percy. She’s wearing that flavored chapstick today, the one that tastes like strawberries. He can tell by the slight pink tint it gives her lips.

“Well?” she raises her eyebrows at him, and it’s clear he completely missed what she just said.

“Yeah,” he responds, full of fake confidence and the hope that his answer will suffice. (It doesn’t.)

“Good to know,” she bites out.

Without the slightest clue what he’s just admitted to, Percy wrenches his hand out of the can, wincing when that frees more crumbs, and works on cleaning them off.

“Oh my god, just let me do it.” Annabeth marches over and wipes the crumbs over the edge of her bed and into her hand instead of letting them fall to the carpet like Percy hand been. A singular curl is working its way out of her messy bun, one perfect spiral aching to be free. Percy literally has to hold his own hands to stop himself from tucking it behind her ear like a lovesick idiot.

Angry Annabeth isn’t something Percy sets out with the intention of creating, but he’d be lying if he said she wasn’t one of his favorite subjects. Being the source of that anger is a bit scary, but she’s so stunning when she’s mad. Telling her this is a one-way ticket to getting punched, Percy knows, but he can think it.

All the lines of her face are set in stony determination. She has such a proud face, all sharp angles and strong structure. Fitting for an architect.

Annabeth is inches away from Percy now; he can smell her strawberry chapstick and lemon shampoo. In their closeness, he can see her eyes burning through her lashes.

In what is the least helpful of intrusive thoughts, Percy can’t help but think that she looks really fucking hot when she’s mad.

“Excuse me?!” Annabeth’s eyes snap up to his, anger turning her grey eyes to storm clouds.

Yeah, definitely hot.

And definitely not what he should be thinking.

Which means he definitely shouldn’t kiss her right now.

Yet as Percy’s lips press to hers, he can’t seem to remember why this is such a bad idea. Annabeth tastes like strawberries and he gets to tuck away that curl and holy shit she just bit his lip.

She ends the kiss almost as suddenly as he started it, leaving Percy to fall forward on the bed at the loss of her.

“Study break?” he suggests hopefully.

Annabeth’s response is an eyeroll as she straightens up and dusts the crumbs off into the garbage can by her desk. She doesn’t look at him again, just resumes typing as furiously as before.

Okay, Percy thinks. I deserve that one.

Just as he’s resigned himself to an afternoon of stilted silence, Annabeth slams her laptop shut. Before anything processes, Percy registers the hunger in her eyes as she says, “Fuck it. Study break,” and throws a leg over his lap.

Annabeth may not get much more studying done, but Percy certainly does.

[cartoonfangirl1218]

Motorcycle Race

Has a bit of Mick and Lisa friendship. Takes place between Rogue Air and Family of Rogues.  "Okay peoples let's get this party started!!!!!" Shawna shouted in the middle of the crowd in Saints & Sinners. 

Mark Axel, and Hartley burst in quickly behind her. Mark's small hurricanes blew the door hinges off and people ran screaming out. Mick, Leonard and Lisa dragged behind. 

"I can't believe we're robbing this place." Leonard muttered disgustedly as the crowds pushed and ran past them. 

"Aww c'mon on Lenny. It's Shawna's birthday let her rob S&S if she wants to. Besides look at all the wallets people are leaving around." Lisa grinned as another patron ran away screaming, not noticing Lisa's hand dipping into her pocket as she ran past her. "I already got 7!" 

Leonard shook his head with his usual "Why-in-hell-am-I-related-to-you-and-why-did-I-agree-to-this-stupidity" sigh.

Lisa rolled her eyes, he was the one who created the group who wanted to do said stupidity. He was the one that had wanted to get more villains to go against the Scarlet Speedster, and now they were stuck with them. 

It all had started when Shawna came to the warehouse with a bunch of shopping bags, announcing that no one should go to her room tonight because it was her birthday. Then Axel came up with the idea that they should celebrate. And with Rogues, what better way to celebrate than by filling their pockets with cash, jewelry and other stuff they got for free. Shawna insisted on Saints & Sinners because she wanted to crash at the bar so off they went. 

Lenny hadn't wanted to go, but Lisa had goaded him to it because what would it look like if the leader of the Rogues was so noticeably absent from a theft. 

"Like he is the only sane one, so that's why he's the leader" He drawled. He ended up going anyway because he didn't want anyone to end up in jail before going on their next heist. 

Lisa had to admit, she had been against the idea of having more in the Rogues besides the three of them. Sort of an exclusivity. But it had been generally okay. Mark and Axel were all over her when Lenny wasn't around and it was nice to be so pampered and admired. 

Despite his lovesick gazes, Axel was the jokester and she thought he was the best one to hang out with. who wouldn't love a buy who stole the cold gun, freezed the hallway and started sledding races. She didn't know quite what to think of Mark and Hartley they mostly stood to each other or by themselves. But as long as they didn't mess up her life with whatever inner angst they were holding up she didn't care. 

Shawna was fun to be around, it was nice to have another girl in villainy and they sometimes compared notes on Cisco and made fun of him and the other Rogues when they went clubbing. But she also had a sneaking suspicion that she had been using her powers to get into her room, and steal her make up which was not cool at all. She had stolen those Clinique bottles through her own hard work and she wasn't going to share. The place was finally clear, the owner of the bar stared at them through widened eyes. He looked like he was going to stand his ground but one glare from Mick sent him scurrying off. 

“Best day ever" Shawna sighed satisfied sipping her bottle of vodka she took from the bar. Axel and Hartley were jamming up the cash register and Mark seemed to be trying to take off the disco ball with his mind. 

"So how long do we get to crash before the police arrive?" Mick asked absent-mindedl, lighting a cigarette. 

"10, 8 minutes or so" Leonard said checking his watch.

"Cool we stay here until last second and then off out" Shawna grinned, as she spotted a sequined purse lying under one of the tables.

"Maybe you can but we can't." Mark said, looking at the locked front door.

“Oh yeah, it must suck that you have to leave early because you're not fast enough to outrun the cops" Shawna mock-pouted "Poor baby.”

"I can out-run the cops anytime I want.”Hartley shot back.

“No way, your stick legs can't outrun a snail" Axel jeered.

“Yes I can" Hartley shoved him. "No way" Shawna called out.

"Forget running, best way to go is by motorcycle" Mick said.

"And that title is held by me" Lisa added.

“Please" Mick snorted.

"Please what?" Lisa scowled.

"I'm the one that actually taught you how to drive fast. No way you can beat the master." Mick smirked. It was true. Len had been the one that taught her to drive car, how to drive a motorcycle, how to repair the, but Mick was the one that taught her how to drive fast ad dangerously. They used to drive around Central, breaking all kinds of speed limits. 

"Mick, stop talking drunk and be serious.” Lisa snorted.

“Guys, I have the perfect way to solve this" Shawna grinned.

"Beer" Mark said helpfully.” 

“Yes, that and we race on it." Shawna suggested. The Rogues stared at each other and ran out of S&S. They headed to the old dump yard at the edge of the skate park, and took some bicycles lying around while Leonard, Mick, and Lisa took their own motorcycles. "Okay first up,” Lisa announced "You four go race starting at the half pipe, to S&S and back again. Then Mick and I will go, winner race winners." Leonard just settled down at the park bench watching them intently.

“Do we get to use our powers?" Hartley asked eagerly.

"Of course" Lisa purred "What fun would it be if we didn't?"

The four got on their bikes, and glared at the lights of S&S and the police cars in the distance.

"Ready, set go!" Lisa called Axel started up the fight by setting off parachute bombs at Shawna who was up front, she disappeared just as the bombs hit the ground. 

Which made Mark and Hartley scramble off balance into some trees. Mark fought back as lightning blast out of the sky, making Axel zig-zag into the street.

 "SHIT!! Biker coming through" he yelled as car honked and barreled toward him. Shawna reappeared once more in front but was soon overpowered by Hartley when he aimed his sonic gloves at the ground. The whole race sorta crumbled after that. 

They got so distracted with fighting each other that jumped off their motorcycle and use their powers and combat skills in a four way fight. 

"Guess we can get started then," Mick commented. “Done" Lisa pulled on her helmet, and crouched on her golden motorcycle "See you at the finish line old man" Lisa crowed.

Mick grunted. Leonard placed their guns next to him and called out "Start!”

It had been fast and furious, without the added distraction of firing fireballs me gold at each other they swerved precisely and smoothly across the streets. Lisa sorely tempted to drive over by him and hit him against the curb, but one thing she re breed from racing him years ago that knocking out you're opponent also made sure you slowed down too. 

They made it to S&S and we're greeted by the police, and the owner. "Yes, they helped rob the place!" 

"Drive back, drive back, tactical retreat" Mick shouted at her, she didn't need to be told twice. 

She zig zagged as people always said to do if you don't want to get shot by the police. She certainly didn't want to today and in this outfit. The blood would stain the chiffon for sure. She heard the squeal of tires blowing out, and cursed to see her motorcycle tire with a bullet in it. Mick was a little ways ahead of her, already getting dragged off by the police officers. 

She shook her head, dejectedly and let them cuff her without a fight. Without a gun, against their many many holsters, it didn't seem worth it. 

As she got shoved in with Mick, he huffed on yet another cigarette dangling from his mouth. "Ya know your brother is gonna killed us." 

“He could kill Shawna... She was the one with the whole birthday robbery idea and then the motorcycle race." Lisa said, "This is not worth getting killed over. If anything he would kill you for screwing me.” 

She was thinking of Leonard's ever present threat, to murder anyone, especially partners having sexual relations with her. 

"He wouldn't kill me" Mick said, carelessly.

"Really?" Lisa added doubtfully, she knew Mick was like Leonard's closest and only friend but she didn't think their friendship extended that far. Hell, he said that Mick was the last person he wanted her having sex with. “I believe his exact words were, If you think one impure thought about her I will catastrate you, boil your nuts and burn you alive." Mick said thoughtfully as Lisa stared at him in horror, with more than just the threat in mind 

“Did you like me?" She would never admit but she had a crush on Mick for a few months when she was 14. Nothing big, and it was before she knew the extent of his craziness. All she knew was that he had a car with license, had wicked prison tattoos, and an intriguing deep guttural voice. It went away after awhile but never once did she think Mick would have looked at her the same way. 

"I just saw you in a one of your evening dresses, and happened to compliment your rack out loud. That was it." Mick said. “That explains it" Lisa smiled, "And you and I dating. Never. I don't go for balding, old men."

"I don't go for idiotic train wrecks" Mick retorted.

They settled to an easy silence before she broke it again, “So what do you think of the whole Rogues thing?" 

“Worst plan ever. A guy who can make thunderstorms whenever he cries, a disappearing act that thinks robbing S&S is big game, a dumbass engineer with parental issues, and a daddy's boy with bombs. Len couldn't pick up someone cool and useful like someone who could control minds, or an assassin." Mick snorted. 

“Let’s face it. The original three of us pulled off more cons than we did with the rest." Lisa agreed. 

"Well we're stuck with them for now. It'll be like our own reality TV mess." Mick snorted. 

"I bet I could get Shawna in a fight with Mark over the bathroom and then have Axel and Hartley making out in the closet in no time." Lisa smiled, mischevious thoughts running through her mind.

"Mark and Hartley in the closet? I bet Mark and Hartley. In Leonard's office" Mick corrected.

“You're on. I can't wait to see Lenny's face when that happens" Lisa grinned.

 "After we get out of this, we're going for another round though" Mick added.

 "You want to get beaten by me twice?" “I was way ahead of you before the cops came." Mick sneered.

"You have proof?" "I don't need proof, I'm better motorcyclist than you'll ever be. I was back then and I am now.” Mick snarled. "Things changed, Rory. I'm number one now." Lisa glared back at him. 

“Things haven't changed that much, Glider. You still need to learn how to zig zag without getting shot, don't you think for a second you're not the same kid that I had to drive to school and help with...with Brazilian waxing" Mick said, with a rare smile at the memory. 

Leonard had forced Mick to go to her wax appointment with her when he got stuck at a job with Lewis. It had been a hard ordeal for both of them, and Mick ended up with a broken wrist. "It was my first time, and you wouldn't let me hold your.." 

The truck stopped with a halt, and Shawna appeared in front of them. "You're anti-heroes of the day have arrived" she cheered, opening the door and pushing them out. They fell to the ground, "Would you mind, uncuffing us first" Lisa spit dirt out of her mouth.

“Oh of course!" "Here let me help!" Mark and Axel scrambled to uncuff her.

“A little help here" Mick hissed, jingling his cuffs, as Leonard rolled his eyes to help. “That's enough for tonight" Leonard used his stern, leader tone and gestured to the motorcycles waiting at the bench.  

"You head out, we have a score to settle" Lisa said, and winked at Mick. “Yeah Goldie wants to get her ass kicked.

"Don't get so cocky, Rory" Lisa smiled, revved her engine and the two roared off to the pipeline. 

[hoodoo12]

Chapter 14/15 SFW

Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13

@tutlepated @anyamercury​ @beetlewise-and-pennyjuice​

Luckily, Lisette wasn’t the type to curl up and cry continuously about a shitty situation. The next day, eating peanut butter right out of the jar with a spoon because she was out of bread, she was back in his room with all her books, not just the heavy-hitters. 

He’d have helped her go through them, but their wards combined with the chalk circle wouldn’t allow him to touch them. The only other was her journal, and she was reluctant to pass it over to him. 

So instead she read passages out loud. Several times he shushed her, and once she’d uttered a name that made him rush the barrier again so quickly he hit it just like the very first day in his urgency to stop her. Some things shouldn’t be poked awake, Beetlejuice warned her, looking over his shoulder and into the corners of the room as if he expected a visit from something especially vile. 

Lisette took his advice and after that held the book up so he could read certain words instead of saying them.

Over the next three days, they came up with exactly nothing. 

Lisette had taken to sleeping on the floor in his room with a pillow and a blanket. Once again, Beetlejuice watched her sleep. It made him feel odd, knowing this breather actively chose to be close to him. He’d lost any advantage he may have had with her; there was no way for him to drive her out of this fucking house now. 

It made him feel even odder to realize he wanted her to be able to leave, but he didn’t want to drive her away.

Finally, on day four, he said, “If you break the circle, it’ll probably break the connection between you and me.”

There. He offered a chance for her salvation. He said it out loud. She’d probably been thinking it anyway.

Lisette studied him, but didn’t reply.  Still, he shrugged as though she had. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll still be here, having the time of my afterlife in this beautiful house in a quintessential New England town.

“You only said my name twice, babes. I’m not free, but you will be,” he continued, like it meant nothing to him even though it tore him up inside. “You can go, grab some greasy fast food, and put all this shit behind you. You don’t even have to look back as you’re driving away. Hell, just flip this quintessential New England town off in your rear-view mirror. I know I would.”

She shifted on the hardwood floor. 

“Beetlejuice,” she said, and he couldn’t help it; he groaned in longing when she said his name. For a second she pressed her lips together, then went on. “I was still hired to get you out of here. How would I do that if I just left?”

He wanted to scream, “Say my name three times!” but she continued speaking.

“I can free you. I can just repeat your name, and that’d be more powerful than this stupid chalk circle.”

Beetlejuice held his non-existent breath. Was she saying what he thought she was saying?! They were on the same wave length?! She was going to say his name and set him free?!

Lisette sighed. “But . . .” What? What but?!

“ . . . there was something else in the books. Something I found after you explained exactly what the incantation circle was meant for. I didn’t bring it up because I wasn’t sure how you’d take it. But not only are we running out of time, we literally found no other option.”

In spite of his growing anticipatory excitement, a feeling of dread washed over him. He wondered if his hair reflected that; sometimes he just couldn’t control the random colors that appeared in it. With a dry throat, he asked, 

“What are you talking about, Lis?”

She looked at him with an expression he couldn’t quite name. Fear? Sadness? Worry? 

After a pause that included a deep breath, she continued. 

“I can free you. I can scuff the chalk marks and break the barrier. Or I can say your name three times and that’d do it too--” 

A tiny whine escaped him, alerting her to how excited that possibility made him. Lisette didn’t acknowlege his desperation.

“--but even if I do either of those . . .”

Her voice trailed off. Beetlejuice waited for her to finish her thought, but it was difficult not to demand her to spit it out. 

Finally she said in a soft voice, “. . . I told you I used my blood. Apparently that wasn’t the greatest idea, because blood makes the ritual stronger. Even if I release you from the circle, even if I do it with your name, we’re still bound together.”

⁂

He’d be free, but . . . not free? Bound to a breather? What did that actually mean? And what did he know about her, anyway? She had some real sensitivity to spectral activity, sure, but she was also a self-admitted con artist. And she was a liar! She had a scary knowledge base since she managed to trap him, which sucked but was intriguing, and he couldn’t deny she was pretty hot under the peasant skirts and tank tops . . . Beetlejuice shook his head to get rid of the distracting, useless thoughts bombarding him to focus on the real thing here: anything was better than how long and what he’d had to endure in this fucking house!

Lisette had continued talking, filling in gaps he hadn’t considered in light of this new development. “There’s really no reason for me to just erase the chalk. What good would that do? If we’re still bound and your restrictions apply, then we’re still in the same boat. You can’t leave the house, so I can’t leave the house. So really, the only viable option is your name, which will set you loose. Then you can leave and that means I can leave. We’re totally getting some food after this--” 

Lost in his own swirling thoughts while trying to work through the complexities of what she’d told him, Beetlejuice was only half listening to Lisette’s ramblings, which seemed redundant and circling, and mostly to herself. 

“--so, here goes . . . Beetlejuice--”

His name, as always, grabbed his attention. He was and wasn’t ready; should they make sure this really was the only option? He wanted this so badly--

“--Beetlejuice--”

Oh shit oh fuck the second time the second time it was happening he was going to come in his pants she was going to say it, shewasgoingtosayit--

“--Beetlejuice!”

The sweet rush of power that he longed for, that he chased, that only an orgasm could rival, flooded through him. Beetlejuice couldn’t help but grin like a mad man and throw his arms out, a pose he’d learned from Christian icons that just felt so damn good! He hadn’t realized the weight the Netherworld beaucracy had burdened him with, tethering him to this fucking house; like old Scrooge waking up on Christmas morning being released from the chains he’d forged in life he felt lighter and freer; the world was his oyster, and, and--!

Beetlejuice took a breathful of air. He couldn’t stop smiling! With a jaunty tilt of his head, he literally dove at Lisette. 

tbc

[ladygwyndolin]

Rachel Ranks: Bloodborne Bosses From Worst to Best

#6: Ebrietas, Daughter of the Cosmos

“The left-behind Great One.”

Lovecraft WISHES he could have designed an eldritch creature as cool looking as Ebrietas. She’s not just a pretty face, either: she can absolutely rock your shit with a mostly tough but fair moveset. I don’t really like the bullshit charge, and I feel like the damaging aura around her in phase 2 is more of a distraction than a challenge, but those are minor nitpicks. This fight really captures the experience of fighting a true eldritch monstrosity, and it’s always a pleasure getting my ass kicked by her over and over again.

Pros:

Beautiful

Mostly great moveset

Great lore

Cons:

Mid-fight frenzy status effect

Damaging aura

Can’t kiss her

(Agree with this ranking? Disagree? Have something totally tangential to add? Feel free to leave a reply! Btw, if you like what I do (or if you don’t, i’m not picky), please consider supporting me on ko-fi! I’m currently unemployed and it would be a big help )