#(it's because there are few happy endings. I really think that's it. I love a happy ending and Dunnett is constantly going 'haHA! no 🫶🏻')

[aninipanin1]

GALA

Notes: Just wanted a little drama with a mix of reader being a silent diva yuhhh, A Noel Noa centric piece hehehe hope yall enjoy! PS: YES, this fic is a bit inspired by Cinderella RAHHH

"Hmm, that dress looks better than the first one. It matches your personality well." Anri said, her eyes looking at your phone screen where the photo of your dress was displayed. You nodded your head, taking into consideration Anri's opinion. You did like that specific dress personally, too, so you were happy that it fit you, at least in Anri's eyes.

"Yeah, I'll just buy this one then. It's actually on sale so I knew I had to get one of these for the Gala. Eepecially since my parents would definitely disown me if I do not wear anything proper, at least by their standards." Sighing, you pressed the order button on the app, shoulders sagging a bit. Your family was invited in a gala held by the company your parents worked in. Due to their high position, your whole family was invited, including your fraternal twin sister.

It's been a while since you met up with your whole family due to the Blue Lock project, but also because you did not have the best relationship with them, especially your parents.

"You know you can always not go, right? Especially since (S/n) is there. Geez, I still wonder why you put up with her. Nobody liked her in our class instead of the boys who just wanted to have a chance with her."

Anri sighed, remembering her college days where she shared a class with your sister. And needless to say, her arrogance in the subject which she almost failed at always pissed her off. It was really surprising as to how someone so...down to earth as you was related to someone like that girl.

You gave her a sheepish smile.

"Sorry about that. She's just like that because of our parents, I swear. And well, she's still my sister. I can't just abandon her like that, Anri."

The woman sighed and shrugging her shoulders.

"It's your choice, Y/n. But, personally, I would definitely cut her off. She's too toxic, especially for you, since we both know how she treats you even if you're older than her."

The conversation ended there as you both were thrust into silence, eating your food away on the cafeteria for both your breaktime when your phone vibrated. It was a text from your mother.

Mother:

Oh, and bring a date with you. Surely, as my eldest, you have at least a love interest and even better, a boyfriend by now. Make sure he's dressed appropriately, too.

"WHAT?!" You burst out, causing Anri to also spill the water in her mouth in shock of your outburst.

"Geez girl! Warn me next tim-...WHAT?!" She screeched too, as she read the text that you forced on her face.

"The gala is happening next week! How am I going to find a date so soon!? I...I don't even know any guys who can be a date." Sulking, you placed your head hopelessly on the table. Your mother thought wrong about you, just because your sister can pull guys does not mean you had the same charm and ability as well!

"Tell me, Anri-san! How will I charm a guy into at least agreeing to be my date for the night! Hmm, I wanna ask (S/n) so bad how she does it..."

Anri can only sweardrop at your words. Really? After all that you went through, you still think you are not charming enough to make a guy pay attention to you when you literally has world class players on their knees, just waiting for you to pay attention to them?

But then again, the lack of emotional connection you had with your parents as well as the absence of love from them may have messed up your perception of all types of love, even romantic love. And now, that made Anri a little sympathetic about your situation.

"Don't worry! I'm sure you'll find a guy who'd be okay with it soon enough-"

She comforted you until her eyes stopped on a familiar man who also entered the cafeteria, the white hair, and the tall build familliar to everyone in the facility, and probably the world, Noel Noa.

It was, after all, a few minutes after 1 p.m., and many of the staff and coaches took their lunches. Noa was one of the latest to do so since he was trying to come up with a better team to start in the next match of the NEL.

Anri knew that this maybe the only way to get you to solve your problem while also helping the guys to finally get over themselves and confess to you.

'I'm so sorry, Ego-san! But you all are legit slowpokes and I can't see her being stressed about this!'

"Why not ask one of the coaches to be your date?" Anri exclaimed, a little louder to make sure that the coach who was busy picking his food on the machine heard. You did not seem to notice Noa, as you tilted your head at her.

"Eh, I don't wanna disturb them, Anri-san! They're already busy enough around here. And the gal of me to show up with someone so famous like them! Besides, the gala is until 12 midnight, and they have training for the next day-"

"What about us coaches, Ms. Y/n?"

You let out a shocked 'eh,' before turning your head to see the Noel Noa, sitting on the table beside yours and Anri's. He was wearing his usual calm and collected face, but it was evident in his eyes that he was curious as to why you were quite distressed.

"Oh, its nothing, Noa-san...!"

"She needs a date on this gala, and she can't find one. She wanted to know if you guys would be fine with going with her." Anri said, trying her best to hide the mischievous grin on her face, and she succeeded to a degree, but the look on her eyes shout that she was plotting something.

"Eh? Anri-san! You don't have to answer that, Noa-sa-"

"I'm fine with it." He said with a straight face, making the nervous and embarrassed look on your face vanish replaced by one of disbelief and shock.

"Huh?"

"I'm fine with it. Just tell me when and what I should wear." He said, trying his best to remain passive, to keep his composure. Deep inside though, he felt happy. Finally! It was his turn to be with you.

"Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Thank you so much, Noa-san! I promise I will pay you back for this!!" You exclaimed excitedly, hugging the tall man out of pure glee and emotion, which made him become even more frozen in his place.

Luckily for him, you could not see the redness that starts to form around his neck, a moment of vulnerability and change from his usual no-nonsense personality. But, what he did not remember was Anri was still there, with her having a mischievous smirk as she watched the number 1 striker in the world blow a fuse just because of a hug.

'Oh, the power you have over these football nerds, Y/n...'

"Eh, where are you going, Noa-san?"

Some of the Bastard Munchen players were a little confused to see their master exit his office, but instead of doning his usual track suit that the facility provided, is garbed in a black and gold suit that complimented his features and build.

It was not the first time the striker wore formal attire (being invited into many famous events over the years, and the pictures of him attending are all over the internet) however, it was still a little weird to see him wear a formal attire in a sport setting.

The man's usual cold eyes turned to them, but there was a hidden twinkle in them. An emotion the players cannot decipher, and thankfully, they did not have to do that themselves as he answered their question.

"Y/n's parents have a gala in their workplace where her attendance is a must. And well, she needed a partner to go with her which is where I come in."

He adjusted the sleeve of the suit, not seeing the wide and open mouths of the players. Especially Isagi and Kurona, Yukimiya and Hiori meanwhile, just smirked at the unfolding scenes.

They are definitely telling the other stratums about this in hopes it reaches the other masters. For what? For the drama, of course.

"You? She could have chosen better..." Kaiser rolled his eyes. In his mind, the master was too serious and intimidating to be standing to someone like you, who in his eyes was like a twinkling star, gracung upon everyone with your warm light, yet not enough to blind or outshine them.

And he thinks all these idiotic masters do not deserve a woman like you. Yes, especially the man he wants to go against. After all, why would he wish upon someone who he thinks is not good enough for you? The person that he feels is the closest he got from a parental figure.

Even if the man is almost perfect, it was still a no. He has to be perfect in Michael Kaiser's eyes before he lifts his cold and domineering glare upon them.

But Noa was far from bothered, ignoring the boys' words, and was more focused on fixing his looks. He was not a man who cared about his looks, but he would be meeting your family along with the fact that he had to show the world that he was mlre than worthy being with you (my man forgot hes the number 1 striker in the world)

He looked down at his watch, squinting his eyes a bit to read the time.

8:48 pm

'Hmm, I wonder how she's doing now...'

"Stop moving for God's sake!"

"I'm trying...! But it hurts..." You said with animated tears as you squirmed in your seat while Anri helped you with styling your hair. You both were in Anri's office as she offered to help you style up for the night. Helping you with your more than tangled and messy hair due to the days of not caring for it properly, having to run around the facility to do endless chores, it was even a luxury to put it in a decent updo.

And well, Anri was less than gentle with how she's treating your scalp like it was a barbie doll that had no pain receptors.

"I'm almost done! And...there! What do you think?"

She spun you around the mirror to show you her masterpiece, and you were not going to lie, it was beautiful. Your hair shimmered due to the few products she put in your hair, but the main event was the braids that frame your head, almost like it was its own tiara with a few flower clips on it to make it even more sophisticated yet ethereal. (Decide your own hairstyle around this based off your hairtype:)

Your hair was for once a bit bouncy and not so tangled to the touch that it felt like you were arguing with your own strands, ready to rip it off from your head.

"Wow, from all the pulling you did, it came out really pretty!" You exclaimed excitedly, not believing that the girl in the mirror was you. Anri rolled her eyes at this.

"Told you. Never disturb a magician when she's working her magic. Now let's start with that makeup and change that tracksuit into your dress."

The makeup was really light, just enough to compliment your facial features and make it pop more (because you are lazy when removing makeup and pretty privilege does that to you, reader;), and well, it was not a surprise to see you already yawning at the boring procedure Anri was going through to fix your makeup.

"Geez, have you no like feminine bone to atleast have some sort of...reflex to atleast know the basics of makeup?" She asked jokingly, as she curled your eyelashes only for you to blink your eye uncontrollably.

"Um, I think I do. But its not like I don't wanna put makeup. Its just that, growing up, I was not allowed to." You said which made Anri confused.

"Really? But from what I can see from your sister's social media, she looks to be really good at it, even from her very old posts thatbwould pop up in her timeline."

"Yeah, well she is my family's treasure. She can do whatever she wanted or get what she wished for, I didn't really have any of that luxury growing up. I was the older sister, so of course I have to give up what I want to her if ever she wanted it. And that also included...my freedom to express myself, I guess."

Your voice grow even more quiet as you opened up about your past. It was thr first time ever that you did, atleast to Anri. But, knowing you, she is not surprised. You were always the people pleaser, always so ready to help others even if you cannot anymore. Even if you cannot carry the pressure anymore, you still would if somebody asked you.

Now, it made sense. You act this way because your parents conditioned you to be like that whilst spoiling your younger twin sister. The unfair treatment and lack of freedom you may have experienced molding you into what you are today.

A person who rarely cares about herself has trouble expressing your true self below that kind and caring nature, and does not believe that the people around her can truly love her for who she is.

And that hurted Anri. She loved you. You two have become the bestest of friends, almost sisters ever since this project started, and she hates how lowly you think of yourself, yet look at everyone else, even those who do not deserve it, highly.

You call everyone worthy of care and kindness, yet you were never kind to yourself. And now, she knows the root causes of this.

But, there was hope. There are people everywhere, even just in this facility alone that loves you dearly. The Blue Lockers, who view you like you are their older sister. Heck, even the foreign players like Kaiser and Lorenzo, and the rest started to view you as such too.

Then, of course, there are those you met who love you differently, viewing you in a different light. And Anri hoped that one day, the love of those people will change your mind about this thinking.

'Zwip!'

"There! All done...Oh my!" Anri cheered, her once dim expression brightening once she saw you in the beautiful silvery blue dress that sparkled under the light of the room. You had matching jewellery accompanying it too, but the dress really did make you look like a living princess as it hugged your figure, the skirt billowing to the ground elegantly as if it wanted to match your own elegant movements.

"Huh...it looks really good..."

"Why are you surprised?" Anri said, raising her eyebrow.

"Nothing...just...this is the first time I ever get to pick my own dress. My parents are always the one who buy our dresses for us, and well, I don't exactly get...a flattering one." You said meekly, Anri can only frown at that.

"But your sister's is?"

"I mean...I guess? But she's already pretty and charismatic...she can make an entire room focus only on her!" You happily complimented, just as Anri was about to add into your claim, your phone's alarm rang, telling you that it was already 9:00 pm.

"It's time..." you said nervously, as you put on the pair of clear heels before walking to the door, not forgetting to thank and say goodbye to Anri.

"Your taste in suits is so boring." Chris Prince commented towards Noa, who ignored him, causing the English coach to get pissed off.

"Why are you even wearing that?" Snuffy incquired curiously, rolling his eyes at Lavinho and Prince, who only questioned the man's style, failing to ask important questions. When Noa heard the question, however, he could not help but feel a little proud and smug, the ends of his mouth twitching slightly in a cold and unnoticeable smirk.

"Y/n is going to be participating in a gala tonight, but she needed a date. So, she asked me to be her date and partner for the night."

Crickets.

Well, until the information finally processed in their minds, and needless to say, the three other masters were less than happy.

"WHAT?! You, of all people?!" Lavinho exclaimed as he approached Noa, like he was ready to fight or debate him over the fact that did not deserve to be your date on that said gala.

"My poor Y/n, she doesn't deserve a man like you. I bet she'll be oh so bored in that gala." Prince said, not pretending to hide the fact that he was indeed jealous, as veins portruded in his forehead and neck about the fact that you went with his main rival instead of him.

Meanwhile, Snuffy remained quiet. However the fake smile, dead look in his eyes, and the portruding veins in his neck and clenched fist was enough of a story to tell. He was more than pissed off at what he is hearing.

With the green-face of jealousy leering at the three coaches, Noa knew he had a one up at that time. And needless to say, the faces the others pull made his ego boost up even more.

But, it reached its peak once you entered the cafeteria, all dolled up for the night in your dress. You greeted all of them so sweetly, not even noticing the effect you had on the four professional players. Noa felt proud that he got to be the one who would be with you for the night. That you chose him over the other three (he was just lucky that he was the one in the cafe at the right time, but we don't mention that).

"Umm Good Evening, sorry to interrupt..." You bashfully said noticing that the four masters were talking to each other, thinking that they were discussing something related to the Neo-Egoist League (they weren't).

"It's nothing. Let us get going, Ms. Y/N..." Noa said, dismissing the rest and taking your hand to guide you outside the cafeteria. He did not want you to get distracted by the others, wanting to look at your beauty by himself.

By the time the other three managed to find themselves catching their breaths, you were already waving goodbye as Noa tugged you to the exit of the facility to head to the gala.

"Wha- hey!"

"Tsk, that selfish robot."

Oh...

That's the only word that is repeated in your mind the moment you both arrive in the venue. Now, there were only a few people outside of the venue, and most of them were waiting to sign up to enter.

But, the amounts of stares and whispers that were already felt and heard the moment THE Noel Noa stepped out of the taxi and sweetly helped you out of the car was definitely palpable.

How can you forget that you literally invited the number 1 striker in the world to be your date in a company gala?

You turned so embarrassed and flushed at the attention, not used to it, unlike Noa, who remained as passive and emotionless like he always was, used to the attention someone of his popularity always experienced.

"I'm so sorry for all this trouble, Noa-sa-"

"Why are you apologising, Ms. Y/n?"

You were taken aback at the question, gulping before stating your reasons.

"The attention must be really uncomfortable...and I know you already have a lot on your plate due to your fame and all, and for me to add into it by inviting you here must be making it worse." But he just shrugged, offering his hand for you to take and for him to lead you.

"It's nothing. I agreed to it knowing what the consequences are, so you have nothing to apologize since I made the choice to say yes. Now, shall we get going?"

Blinking at the reason, you gave him a genuine smile before accepting his outstretched hand and headed for you to sign up.

Just as expected, you had the privilege of having a VIP entrance slot along with your plus one, due to your mother and father being one of the top executives of the company. But, as you signed up, a crowd formed around Noa, who looked quite annoyed at the attention he received before he sighed.

Leaning to whisper in your ear, he did not care for the gasps and whispers of a supposed relationship you two may have.

"Go in first without me, I'll deal with the crowd, and I don't want to inconvenience yourself any further. I'll find you inside."

At first, you tried to argue, wanting to help but looking at how he handled himself in front of a crowd compared to how you did, you knew that staying would just make it worse, so you just nodded with an understanding smile and sent him with a cheerful thumbs up before entering the place alone for now.

The venue was beautiful. The ballroom was quite larger than all the previous venues these events were held in. The chandeliers looked magical, mixing in with the gold and cream the whole place was decorated in. Classical music played and echoed through the whole place as well as small chatters from the people already inside. Speaking of the people, there were definitely hundreds of them already inside, some looked to be journalists too, as the camera flashes can be seen here and there.

You felt like a child in the middle of the huge crowd, a bit overwhelmed but at the same time excited. Mainly because of the food that you can already smell being prepared by the chefs and other staff in the venue. You were also quite happy that what you initially thought of being overdressed was proven wrong due to the many bedazzled dresses and suits that grazed the floor, and even better than your measly jewelry, were real minerals like diamonds, emeralds the size of a thumb was around the necks of the women or dangled from their ears.

It was a gala of opulence, a place where the rich people tried to outdo themselves, to compete with their fellow rich friends to become the star of the show.

"Well, well. If it isn't my lovely older sister grazing us with her...presence."

You turned around, already feeling dread at the notion of seeing her again. There she was, her hair in an elegant bun, wearing a bedazzled pink dress that hugged her beautiful features well, elegant black heels, opulent ruby necklace and diamond earrings only befitting someone of her stature.

Your younger twin sister (S/n) was the definition of elegance and power. The dream of every parent, just like yours. The moment she graduated in business school, she immediately entered the same company your parents worked in and rose the ranks quickly, now standing as a president of the company's media branch.

Yes, you had to admit, you were always jealous of her growing up. Being the smarter and prettier twin, since you both were fraternal twins, your features and every characteristic were different. She was always better than you, the bright sunlight to your measly starly twinkle.

But, nevertheless, you tried to be the best big sister that you can. Supporting her even if you felt jealous, and for a while, you two were close when you were kids. But as she grew up, she realized she was the favourite and something changed in her, turning around to try and destroy your life always. Probably because you were older, and she thought that you would inherit everything your parents had if she didn't try to be better and bring you down.

So she simultaneously did that. Better herself and brought you to your lowest. And the sisterly bond vanished.

You loved her, you did. But there was no way you would be fixing a relationship you did not break. You were kind, not a saint.

"Hi (S/n), how are you? It's been so long, huh?"

"I guess it has been. Everything has been better for me. Work has been hard but rewarding, though I doubt I can say the same with your...babysitter duties?" She smirked at first, then sneered at the thought of your job.

She, along with your parents never failed to bring down your role as a manager for a football facility the moment they heard of it. Sure, it got better when Blue Lock TV picked up ratings and was popular all over the world, but you were still viewed lowly. After all, you were not a player or its director or head, just a lowly manager/babysitter of the players, why is that important in their minds? In fact, it brought embarrassment to the family.

You always tried not to let it affect you, but it does hurt to be brought down a peg just because you did what you loved. But, you being you, you just smiled, not wanting an argument to form.

However, as if your day could not have gotten worse, your parents arrived along with a man you recognized for two reasons: he is a popular actor and model in Japan, and he was also dating your sister. You don't know much, but last time you heard from them, he already proposed to her which you were more than happy for her.

Just because you didn't like your family, does not mean you'll be a bitter Betty. No, you would not stoop low like that. Being raised in a toxic environment made you polish and garb a thick skin, after all.

Your mother immediately scrunched her nose at your appearance while your father just looked at you boredly and coldly as he always does.

"Mother, Father-"

"I told you to wear something that would not embarass our family. And what do you do? Wear this childish costume? Preposterous." Your mother sneered, squinting at the cheap fabric. After all, they did not give you any budget to buy a good one and so, you bought one out of your own money.

"This is why you aren't to be trusted with yourself, Y/n. This dress is unfit of someone in the L/n lineage." Your father said with a straight face, shaking his head. Meanwhile, your sister just snickered in the arms of her quiet fiance who did not want to get involved in the family mess.

You just nodded at their supposed advice, too tired of the day to even argue and embarass yourself infront of so many people.

'Tune them out, Y/n...like you always do, remember?'

"And to add to the mess you are, you do not have a partner with you? I specifically told you to bring one. We cannot afford to have our eldest daughter of all people to be gossiped about her future of being barren and alone." Your father continued and your mother seemed to realize the lack of partner beside you, and she became even angrier.

"Wait, I have one tonight, father. He just excused himself-"

"How many years have you used that excuse on us, young lady? Do not lie to us about your imaginary date for the night. You disappoint us with your fashion, we let it slide. But, not showing up with a partner? This is outrageous!"

"Mother, relax. I am sure there is a valid explanation for this. After all, Y/n over here is busy with her career of babysitting to even care about herself. Perhaps that lack of self-care is the reason why men rarely approach her." Your sister comforted your mother who was red in the face. Hearing this, your mother's anger turned into cold rage.

"I suppose. You have disappointed me and your father as usual, Y/n. And you question why me and your father did not pay for your college education in that foolish sports medicinal course? Because of this. You are irresponsible, and you lack anything noteworthy to you. Adding to that, you cannot even do the bare minimum of find a somewhat successful man and give us grandkids that can hopefully not get your genes and provide our family something to be prided by." Your mother sighed, her words breaking your heart. You heard of these words before, but it hurt nonetheless. But as if, the wound was not painful enough, your father decided to rub more salt unto the wounds.

"You are the eldest, Y/n. I already lowered my expectations on you the moment you talked soblate compared to your sister as an infant. Yet, you still wreck my already lowered standards. I gave the expectations of the eldest to your younger sister, who carried them gracefully and smartly, and that load made her better. I thought lowering the load on you would atleast make you a bearable daughter. Starting from now, if you do not have atleast a man to introduce to us of good name, then I would have no choice but to marry you off to the first man that offers to me."

Your eyes widened so big at this, like your worse nightmare was happening. Knowing your parents, they were serious about this. And you didnt want to be shackled in a loveless marriage just to produce kids that you cannot love fully because they were not out of real love. And besides, you were not ready for marriage yet.

"But father-"

"That's final."

"Finally, father. I am so tired of carrying everything in this family. Thank you for putting this...leech to use." Your sister sneered, liking the shock and blurry look in your eyes from unfallen tears. They were like snipers, hitting you in where they knew you were weak quietly. Even literally, as the rest of the gala participants were happily mingling, due to the fact you and your family were in a corner as they told you what they thought of you as privately as one can get in a ballroom.

But as if some sort of deity or god saw your struggle, you were saved by a hand touching yours as well as the silence of the whole ballroom. But the most telling and almost hilarious display of reaction was that of your family.

Your mother's eyes were wide as well as her mouth. Your father tried to maintain his composed expression, but you can see the shock in them, too. But, the most entertaining expression was that of your sister who had the perfect mix of angerr and shock in her face.

But, you wondered, why was everyone wondered. Well, that was until you looked up to find who held your hand, and it was Noel Noa.

The whole episode with your family made you forget the fact that your date for the night was a famed striker all over the world. Everyone knew his name and face, even if they did not know football well.

"I'm sorry for the interruption, but I am afraid she looked to be uncomfortable, so as her date, it is my responsibility to take her away from anything that may inconvenience or irritate her." He said in his usual cold and almost apathetical tone, if it was not for the fact that he held your hand and back quite intimately, a fact you did not notice because you were too tired from the mental beating from your family.

"O-of course...Mr. Noa, there is...no...problem with that." Your mother said, putting up her friendly and professional smile she uses when talking to those she knew was superior to her.

Your father stayed silent, but his usual cold, hard gaze softened. Of course, your parents were social climbers, so seeing a man of Noa's status and fame definitely humbled them.

Before anything, Noa guided you into the garden of the place and sat you down on the edge of the fountain.

"Sorry about the drama...Noa-san."

"Again, you don't have to apologise. You have to stop apologising for things out of your control and are not your fault." He said sighing, watching the beautiful colors of the water's reflection. You followed his gaze, as the water showed your face.

The face thay you hated all your life. Recognizing how it was not as pretty as your sister's face. That your sister seemed to have inherited the good traits of your parents while you get their least attractive ones (atleast in your parents' opinions and words), how you wished your eyes were the same shape as your sister's, or the way your nose looked, or even the size of your face. Everything.

You thought you moved on from the self-incarceration. But, the words they said to you made you revive the heartbreak you felt growing up as an insecured teen, a feeling that your parents and sister fueled even more, making you struggle with even the thought that you were deserving of attention and love growing up.

Then a drop fell unto the water's surface, then two, then three, until you were softly sobbing and hiccuping under the moonlit sky and the drowning sounds of the fountain.

Until you felt a soft yet calloused hand wipe a stray tear from your face. Realising that you were crying in front of Noa, you tried to turn your face away and hide it.

But, his reflex and pull were stronger and made you stay facing him. Pulling out a handkerchief, he softly wiped away all the stray tears that fell on your face as he finally spoke.

"You're an angel for the amount of patience you have with your family. I arrived there a few seconds before I stepped in, and from what I heard, I can just imagine what they have been telling you before I arrived. Or even way before that."

"Yeah...I'm used to it. But, that doesn't mean it hurted less, you know? It felt like...all the years of emotional and mental solitude and abuse came back. It played like a movie..."

He stayed quiet for a few seconds, just nodding his head at that. Truthfully, he was given a heads up about your family by Anri, and he was so thankful that she did. He thought it could not be that bad until he heard the hurtful words they told you as well as the preposition of them marrying you off to some guy that asked them first.

Like you were worth nothing.

Which just does not make sense to him. You deserved a man who would be willing to go through hell and back just for your hand in marriage, not some random man who just had to ask and would already get to be the one to see you in a white dress and veil.

But, that night, was definitely the night he knew that his feelings for you was more than attraction now. The first moment he saw your beauty and intelligence in the field, he knew he was interested in you.

But now that he got a deeper look into who you really were as a person, that you were kind, patient, and coolheaded enough to not burst in flames in front of your parents made him love and admire you for your strength even more.

He was a man who thought the saying "Kindness is strength," was foolish. Absolutely unethical. Sure, revenge is not always the best course of action, but getting back at the person can sometimes scare them off from doing the bad things they do again and again, so it is logical to a tee.

But, you gave him a new perspective. That maybe being the bigger person at times of extreme mistreatment leads to the more logical outcome. After all, it was not really you who embarassed themselves in front of the world's best striker that night, right?

By the time you managed to fix yourself and go back to the gala, the small program started. It was not that long, but as you sat beside him in the table where your family was assigned in, you both definitely noticed the new personality your parents immediately had.

Your mother approached him with a smile, sometimes lightly scolding you to fix your posture or your smile, but she was less brutal and she even used the loving mother tone she uses to your sister only.

Your father, on the other hand, was more discreet with his agenda. Asking him questions about himself and his relationship with you.

The two of them saw this as the first time you were being a good daughter. To be able to attract a man of his fame and status was a win in their eyes. They loved the attention that Noa brought to their table, the eyes of everyone, even the ones from the CEO's family was on Noa's.

You tried your best to tell your parents you both were not together, that he was just kind enough to be with you for the night. But, they did not relent. They want you to end up with him not because they want you to be happy, but because they just want the attention and power that having their daughter be the one Noa was dating.

But other than you both, your sister also noticed the attention on you and him and that pissed her off. Not used to not having the attention on her, she was muttering curses under her breath. Wondering how her ugly and incompetent elder sister attracted the number 1 striker in the world. Truthfully, she did not even love her fiance, wanting only his wealth and fame. So she thought that all the people's attention would only be at her's, but then her sister had to ruin it. Bringing a man who is known not just in the country, but in the whole world.

'She doesn't deserve him!' That was all that ran in her brain, to the point she even started to ignore her own fiance, in hopes that maybe, if she tried to act impressive enough, she would get the striker's attention away from you to paying attention to her instead.

'She did say they were just friends, and she doesn't look like she likes him like that. So, it'll be easy.'

Well, it was more of a struggle than she thought when the whole night Noa stuck to your side. With your sister's eyes being more susceptive to romance than yours, she can see the look in the striker's eyes when he looks at you or would do anything for you like getting your food for you, or even kneeling on the ground just to fix the ribbon that tied around your heels.

It was a one-sided love, where you were oblivious. A displacement that was disadvantageous to what she wanted to do.

As the night passed, you both were lucky enough not to be bothered too much, even if almost everyone at the party had some hidden agenda in getting close with him for business of sorts, it was definitely a fun time compared to the other times you attended their company's gala.

When you arrived back in the facility, before Noa can walk you to your room, Anri was already there and dragged you to her own room and helped you get out of your hair, make up and dress while urging you to tell her the juicy details of the night.

"It was a little embarrassing how much my parents wanted me to end up with him, probably just to widen their power of some sorts. And I felt so bad for Noa-san having to deal with (S/n) trying to flirt with him. Hmm, what do you think I should gift him for all his help tonight, Anri-san?"

Anri gave you some ideas while deep down, she laughed evilly at the reactions of your family, especially that of your sister. Of course, that was the reason she set you and Noa up for this as well, for you to unintentionally flex that your job was not for the faint, and that you were not the ugly sheep of the family.

'If only her sister knows it isn't just the number 1 striker after her at all. Ooh the drama that would be bring!'

No additional times for this one I'm afraid because this fic became TOO LONG THAN I EXPECTED LMAO. I don't even like Noel Noa that much yet this happened...I cooked too much I'm afraid chat. But anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed this and yes I AM FEELING A LOT BETTER. This is also a bit of a character explanation for why I made Adult!Manager the way she is (like how she acts and all) so yeahhh, to all who relates to this YOU ARE ENOUGH AND LOVEABLE Dont let anyone tell you otherwise, mwah!

Blue Lock is WRITTEN by Kaneshiro Muneyuki and ILLUSTRATED by Nomura Yusuke. All credits to the both of them.

[mrs-monaghan]

Not to go into detail and make this long but I remember how a while ago, I was in your blog and I came across you saying;

But, it is of my personal opinion that if they broke up it would destroy JK. Jimin would be heartbroken and devastated too but it would hit JK harder.

And now that we found out Jungkook was the one to sign up for the buddy system and wrote Jimins name for who he wanted to be his partner.

https://x.com/thekmlogic/status/1881424425972814167?s=46&t=DiZ6pHHxW3ahpd70quaKnA

And it really does prove your point to a whole other level. Not that I needed another reason to believe it but because this type of love doesn’t exist for “just friends” and I’ll never know why or how people don’t see it.

We seen how deeply not having Jimin there effected Jungkook. The man was crying on live..

They went on vacations for AYS together, even back to Juju Island again, without V. Who knows about Busan after the last Juju trip.

They could last 18 months away from friends, family, ARMY, but never each other.

That’s why they’re still out and about together even on vacation.

https://x.com/stopkookminpls/status/1882055760152347025?s=46&t=DiZ6pHHxW3ahpd70quaKnA

Vmin. JiHope. Namkook. JinKook.

(My baby, Yoongi isn’t an option.)

So many close friends in BTS who could have went together. Nobody but Jikook went together. Is that not a sign something is different compared to the others?

Anybody could have went with Namjoon seeing how bad he’s struggling to be happy but no.. At the end of the day, this is just more proof on how real their relationship is.

Oh yeah! 1300% So many reasons to believe in Jikook but enlisting together... that was... that was definitely something. From what I've heard, K-taekookers stopped existing after get out of your imagination happened. Then we lost more vermin after GCF. Matter of fact many of them became jkkrs. (Unfortunately that's also when so many more were created thanks to tkk-lives, but whatever) Then more were lost after Rosebowl. And some more left after the talk during ITS 1. and of course we lost a good number after the Taennie walk in Paris. A few more left after AYS dropped but not enough stopped shipping tkk when Jikook enlisted together. But if you ask me, this is what should have had them all leaving fr fr. This... enlisting together was no small fit. Not only has it never been done before, but they really didn't have to. You know? Like u said, RM too should have enlisted with a member if it doesn't carry as much weight as we jkkrs think it does. Know it does.

It was a huge risk they took but they did it anyway because to them it was necessary.

JIKOOK👏🏽IS👏🏽MOTHERFUCKIN👏🏽REAL!!!👏🏽

So, anon is talking about this post. And while there are deeper reasons connected with their enlistment, we already know how bored JK can be without Jimin. We've seen it

(Thanks @chicknbunny13 😘)

Sidebar: boyfriend V is right there on his phone doing nothing and yet, JK is bored out of his mind. Hmm 🤔✍🏽✍🏽✍🏽✍🏽

We've seen it with every single time he came live only when Jimin left the country, talking about how he got bored and missed us.

JK is a lying liar who lies 😂 but we forgive him. If I had a Jimin I would do the same 🤣

So back to your tweet, anon. My friends and I did suspect that that's what the numbers on their helmets meant

But there was no way to be sure. All we knew to be fact was that it had to have been JK's idea.

What i love about being a Joker is that, we are never wrong. We have earned the right to be cocky. You know what I mean?

It's what happens when you actually stan the real couple. Couples, have patterns. That's why the vermin are always changing their stories... nothing about being a tkkr is consistent. Their theories change overnight depending on what they discover or decide to make up that day.

Meanwhile, Jikook are predictable because they are the true couple. And that's why when we make guesses we are rarely ever wrong.

Thanks for the tweets anon. Support Jikook for clear skin

Damn, they're fine as hell!

[thanosscross]

Hello hello!! Welcome to my little meet your writer section!! 🫶🫶 I’m so excited you’re here! Welcome!

I felt like with you all being my lovelies and being so kind and amazing, you might want to get to know the writer behind some of your favorite stories of mine! 🫶💕☺️ please keep in mind this is a judgement free page, where none of it will be tolerated, unless we’re judging the man who shall not be named 🙄 so welcome! Get to know me here 🫶🫶

Hi! I’m currently 19 turning 20 this February 5th! 🫶 which I’m very excited about,

I go by she/they, really anything you’d like to call me! I’m somewhat the middle child, I have an older brother and two younger brothers, so I’m the only daughter/niece/granddaughter on my dad’s side (my dad’s only child). I grew up with somewhat of a rocky childhood so I’ve always got a soft spot for kids, I’ve become the ‘Mary Poppins’ of my family rather quickly so I’ve always got a kid on my hip, whether its my cousin, youngest brother (5&6), or my fiancée’s niece (5).

I’ve been engaged for almost a year now, I met my fiancee working at a local grocery store, She came through my check-out line, before applying a few weeks later. I ended up being the person to train her for the job position, and ever since then we hit it off, We were both in pretty toxic relationships before, so whenever we got together it was a little weird, but we quickly found a healthy groove together, and it's just been happy times ever since <3 A lot of people say it's too soon, or we're too young, but we prefer it this way, it gets all of the big stressful stuff out of the way, that way we'll have more time to focus on each other and building our family in the future <3. I was always taught that whenever you find the person you know is not only a good relationship partner but also a good business partner, you've found the one, and nothing is too fast, and I know I found my perfect partner in life <33.

I like writing a lot, I’ve been writing since I was about, 9 or 10? So almost full decade now, holy shit, I started out on wattpad, moved to writing on paper, and then eventually moved to tumblr around the time I turned 14? I like to call myself a 'detailed writer', I think of it as a writer who is more focused with writing out physical feelings and emotions. I like my stories to not only be easy to read, but I also like my stories written in a way where you can really picture or imagine the feelings behind the words, I feel like those are the best stories to read, in my opinion <33

I have five animals in total (I know! A lot!) I have three dogs, and two guinea pigs, MooMoo, Charlie, Daisy, Winnie, and Honey Bunz, who are all pain in my asses, but I wouldn't know what to do without all of them <3. For the longest time I wanted to be a lawyer, then it changed to a police officer, all because my original dream of being a firefighter was kinda taken from me whenever I was diagnosed with something that prevents me from safely working in overheated conditions. Now I'm set on writer, or just in the public eye, I don't really mind how, preferably some type of dancer (Competition teams/back-dancer/etc) Or a screen writer, I just want a position in the public eye where I'm actually heard and not just drowned out over the sounds of everybody else (Told you lovelies, rough childhood) I want my words to mean something, I want to be a voice for the people who can't find theirs yet <3

Favorites? Music wise? It's a little all over the place but my top five? (not in order) BigBang, ATEEZ, ENHYPEN, Sir-Mix-Alot, and stray kids <3 Shows? Squid game definitely, or a spin off series of the walking dead that's recently come out, The Walking Dead: The ones who live, I also watch 911, and the Rookie (I really miss being a firefighter when I had the chance). Movies? Really anything horror, I'll always be excited about a new scary movie that comes out, I've been like that since I was itty bitty though >< Jobs? I'd have to say either being a firefighter at only 16-17, or being the Easter Bunny one time at my local mall, those two were the most fun!

My style? I have three different types of styles, I either dress in Baggy Clothes (cargo pants, baggy t-shirts, my black jacket) or tight clothes (undershirts, skinny jeans, a flannel or button up, kept open, to go over it) or a mixture of both 😂 I’ve been mainly sticking with my baggier clothes lately though 🤌💕

Hmmmm...Last get to know me section..What should I put? We'll get a lil personal. I've struggled with severe depression and anxiety since I was around 11 or 12, whenever I had something bad happen to me at 13, it just caused it to become worse, along with other diagnoses. This one is a little more recent, and I'm still a little iffy about sharing it, just because a lot of people give it a bad rep, but I was recently diagnosed Bi-Polar. It wasn't that much of a shock, almost every female in my family has it, and it made a lot of sense for some things I experienced, especially the manic part of it. I've slowly been learning just because I was raised around people who are Bi-Polar who weren't good people, doesn't mean I'm a bad person just because we share the same diagnosis. I go to the doctor, take meds, just like anybody else <3, Some of you lovelies might question why I got so personal on here about it, but for the few that have the same thoughts, know you're not alone, I'm in the same boat with you, so why not us hang out and chill while we're here <33

And without further a-do....

Hi! Lovely to see you here lovely <3 this is the face behind some of your favorite stories! 💕🥰 so glad we can finally meet!

[ros-sauce]

Ough my god SPEAKING of Mizuki's hyper-cheerful exterior, I was thinking about something recently!! When you compare her to the other Genki Girls of Project Sekai, there's a certain vibe difference between her and say, Emu or Saki. The vibe difference is, of course, that Mizuki is making an active effort to be as palatable as possible. But I noticed something more specific about that, that is, to me, equal parts cute and OW OW OW OW OW OW:

Mizuki totally acts like a kids' show character. Specifically, a Precure leader. (Which makes sense, given that Precure's almost certainly what MiraMagi Definitely Isn't, in the same way that TrickTrick Definitely Isn't TikTok.) Every kids' show protagonist is going to be niceys, obviously, they need to be good influences. But! There are still differences in the brand of niceys that each little kid franchise character embodies. And Mizuki's mask matches the Precure flavor just about perfectly...

What's most significant to me is that she's like, pushy about doing favors for her friends. Refer to her bullying Niigo into Going Out And Doing Stuff Because It's Good For Them. "Helpful to a fault" is a trait that Toei loves to give lead cures. You will have your pink cure who runs around helping everyone with a smile 24/7 (I am looking directly at Heart and Lovely especially), and you will have one of the other characters off to the side sighing something like "There she goes again, wearing herself thin because she is Just Too Nice. She doesn't know when to quit!".

There's also a second brand of "'helpful' is her one negative trait" cure, and that's the one who continually kills The Grumpy One with kindness, while the grumpy one in question thinks "Wow what a weirdo. Why are you so nice." (This time I'm looking directly at Peach, Heart and Lovely again, Miracle, and Star)

In general, she really often chooses to show her emotions in a very simple way, and it totally reminds me of how characters in anime for younger audiences tend to talk. When she's displaying 'really happy', she often takes a tone more akin to "announcing to the viewer" than "normal happy person". There's like, a lot of energy, and a sort of singsong tone, it makes me think of the recaps that tend to happen at the start and ends of Precure (and baby anime in general) episodes. The like, "Hi, I'm Firstname Lastname! I'm in 8th grade and this is my favorite thing! One day, a mysterious power turned me into a Precure, and now I fight bad guys!" thing. When she's displaying 'sad', she becomes a comical degree of mopey, and then bounces right back after a few seconds (refer to the "WAHHHHH MEIKO HATES MEEEEEE :(((((" card lol.) She also loves herself a good Noise No One Makes In Real Life... the breathy "a-haha..." sort of laugh when she's embarrassed, "Kyaa~!" when something cute catches her eye, drawn-out "Eeeehhhhhh?!" when she's shocked.

There's also a little bit of like, "irresponsible, but so cute about it that you can't get mad at her". Like in the Ena5 aftershow, where Ena's like "I'm glad you're here to make MVs again but don't demand a million drawings from me ok?", to which Mizuki is like "It's fiiine you can just pull an all-nighter for me :) can't you :)?". It reminds me of how half the lead cures are either Bad At Their Homework or Forget About It, and then wetly and pathetically and cutely beg the rest of the main cast to help them.

I dunno I just think it's. Extremely Mizuki to select the type of character whose worst flaw is "annoyingly nice and happy" as the basis for how she presents herself. If the person you pretend to be around others is totally perfect, it's weird and offputting (hi Mafuyu), so she has to display some kind of flaw. But being imperfect also opens her up to harassment, so of course she goes for the most hard-to-hate imperfection she can think of as her One Failing. And I also think it's Extremely Mizuki to have so much love in her heart for characters primarily designed to spread messages like "always be kind", "do the right thing" etc etc.

Mizuki is a little dweeb who likes cute low-stakes anime about peace and love on planet earth. And also she is not doing well mentally and all she wants is the peace and love on planet earth that her animes show. God. I love her

[marauder-misprint]

Hi! I don't know if you'd be comfortable writing this and if you aren't feel free to disregard this request lol but I was wondering if you could write a sirius black x plus sized reader hurt/comfort? Like maybe she's comparing herself to the people he's usually seen with and thinks he'd never be interested in her only for him to confront her after a bit of avoidance on her part and tell her that he doesn't think that way at all and that she's perfect and beautiful and he wants to be with her

Again if this is uncomfy or weird it's okay to ignore me- I've just been in a bad place recently and figured I'd try my luck haha

thank you for taking the time to read this! I adore your work ( ´∀｀)

Thank you so much for the request! I really hope I did it justice. I'm sorry that you're in a bad place and I hope it passes quickly ❤︎ I didn't go as deep into negative self talk as I could've - I know how mean we can be to ourselves.

Sending my love ❤︎

Boys like Sirius

Sirius Black x Plus size reader

2k words

cw: hurt/comfort, body issues, Happy Ending

It started in third year. Professor Slughorn grew tired of the Marauders interrupting every single lesson so he assigned them seats with different partners on different sides of the room. Remus in the back, Peter in the front, James on the left and Sirius on the right. It only sort of helped. Some days, it made the chaos that followed those boys fill the entire classroom, rather than their two stations. Other days, it meant that the boys talked to and worked with students they otherwise would’ve ignored. In Sirius’ case, that was you. 

The two of you ran in completely different circles. You had never been partnered together before and when given the choice, Sirius always sat with another member of the Marauders. The first few lessons sat next to each other were filled with plenty of awkward silences, mostly because Sirius was grumpy that he was separated from his best friends during a subject he didn’t particularly care for. But slowly, he opened up and once he actually talked to you, he found that he was enjoying Potions, if not looking forward to it. You were also enjoying Potions, because who wouldn’t want the gorgeous and charming Sirius Black as their partner? 

Your new friendship with Sirius spilled out of the Potions classroom. He’d wave to you in the corridor and talk to you in between classes. You were invited to study and go to Hogsmeade with all of his other friends. There were times when you felt out of place with his friends but Sirius made an effort to make sure you were included and listened to when you talked. In the end, you usually said yes to any invite because you got to spend more time with him.

The more time you spent with Sirius and the older you got, the bigger your crush on him got. You tried to play it cool. You tried to pretend that you weren’t absolutely head-over-heels in love with him, just like half of the girls at Hogwarts. Every time he flashed his trademark grin your way, you believed you had a chance with him, that maybe the stars were aligning and you’d get your guy. Every time he gave you a cheeky compliment or let his hand linger longer than a moment on yours, your heart would flutter with hope. Every invite was accompanied with hopeful eyes and excited chatter when you accepted. How could you not read into it? 

However, with half the girls at Hogwarts in love with him, you knew your chances with Sirius were slim. It was painfully obvious in your sixth year. Girls got more brazen with their flirting. He was single and they wanted to change that. It seemed like in between every lesson and at every meal, there was a different girl twirling her hair and batting her eyelashes at Sirius. And to make it all worse, it felt like every girl was skinnier than you. 

These were the thinnest girls with teeny tiny waists. Sirius could have easily lifted any of them up without struggle. And, well, putting it lightly, you had curves. You had thighs, a stomach, a butt, arms, breasts, a body. Someone once said you just had big bones, like that actually meant something. 

Every time Sirius flirted back with one of those girls who looked like the opposite of you, you felt a knife twist in your chest. It was hard to watch the boy you love flirt endlessly with those girls. It was a cruel reminder that boys like Sirius didn’t love girls like you. You felt doomed to a life without love. At least, without his love.

To lessen your pain, you began to distance yourself from Sirius. He had continued to partner with you in Potions every since third year. You talked less during Potions, knowing you couldn’t switch partners. You still waved back to Sirius when you passed in the corridors, but only if he waved first, and if he stopped to try to talk to you, you made an excuse to keep walking. You stopped finding him in the library to study with him and his friends, you stopped going to Hogsmeade with them. If you were barely friends with him, surely it would hurt less when the girls swarmed him. 

It didn’t. 

If anything, it made it hurt more. 

Those girls had it all, and they got his attention. They got his love. 

---

After a particularly quiet Potions lesson, Sirius couldn’t take the silent treatment anymore.

“Oi, lovely, what’s happened?”

You froze as you were putting your things away. You cleared your throat as his words sunk in.

“I’m not sure what you’re talking about, Sirius,” you said slowly. You hoped to Merlin that you sounded confused and not guilty. 

“Feels like you’ve been avoiding me,” he clarified. “Only ever see you in this class… and even then, you’re… you’re not you. You’re quiet. You won’t even look at me.”

You pursed your lips together. So, he noticed. 

“I’m just paying attention, that’s all,” you lied. 

He scoffed. “Paying attention so much you won’t study with me, ahem, us anymore? You won’t come to Hogsmeade?”

You felt the insecurities rising in you like bile in your throat. You didn’t want to talk about this. You knew it would only lead to you admitting your crush on him and his inevitable rejection of you. You could practically hear him saying already ‘I don’t feel the same about you… maybe it’s better you’ve been avoiding me if that’s how you feel.’ Boys like Sirius don’t fall for girls that look like you, you reminded yourself. 

You don’t look at Sirius. Instead, you quickly finished putting your things away.

“I need to get to my next class,” you muttered before disappearing out of the classroom.

Sirius watched you go. He ran his hand down his face. He missed you, your presence, your smile and laugh, everything. And here he was, wondering what he had done to make you avoid him so desperately. 

He found you after classes were over for the day; he knew he had to minimize your available excuses. He was going to talk to you. Sirius would be damned if he had to go another day without knowing you were acting this way. 

“Hey! Love, can we talk?” he said, grabbing your wrist gently.

“Sirius, I have to-”

“Please, I need to know what I did,” he said, beautiful grey eyes filled with worry.

“What you did?” you repeated. 

Your hesitation, although it was only a slight pause, was enough to allow Sirius to pull you down the hall and into an empty classroom. He closed the door behind you. 

“Yes, what I did. What did I do to make you avoid me? I thought we had a good thing going, you know?” 

You looked anywhere but at him. Even without seeing him, you felt yourself getting choked up. You could see his worried eyes in your mind and it was paired with the butterflies you got from him holding onto your wrist. 

“You didn’t do anything,” you managed to say, although your voice is tight, the obvious sound of someone about to cry. 

He walked toward you, putting his things down on the desk behind you and then taking your things out of your arms to put next to his. Then he held the sides of your arms. You had no choice but to look at him.

“Then why? Why have I lost you?” 

Why have I lost you? You wanted to scoff at him. You wanted to laugh dryly. Like you were ever his to lose. Could you tell him that you were just making space for all the girls that fawned over him? Could you tell him that it hurt too much to be that close to him and knowing he’d never look at you like you look at him?

“I-I… I’m protecting myself,” you decided on saying. “At least, I'm trying to.”

“Protecting yourself from what?” he asked earnestly. He paused as he looked into your eyes which were getting glassier by the second. “You know the boys would never prank you, right? I’d never let them.”

“No, not that.” You shrugged off his hands so you could turn away from him. You couldn’t bear to see him when he rejected you for what you looked like. “From… I’m protecting myself from heartbreak.”

“Heart… break…” There was a moment of silence. Then you felt his hand on your arm again. “Love, please explain what you mean.”

His voice made your heart break more than it already was. He was going to make you spell it out for him. He was going to make you say how much you loved him and that you knew he would never reciprocate it. It made your next words come out more angry than you had ever spoken to him before.

“I thought that if I put space between us, that I could stop loving you and it would hurt less to see every girl flirt with you, to see you flirt with every girl who… who doesn’t look like… like me.” Your words came out scathing like fire. It didn’t help that you could feel the hot tears streaming down your face. 

His hand dropped from your arm and you felt your stomach drop. Here it came. Here came the rejection.

“You think I’m flirting with them?” 

His voice was soft. It sounded almost insulted? It was followed by a soft disbelieving chuckle.

“Love, I may have… partaken in banter, but if I flirted, I never meant to.” His hand found your shoulder and turned you back toward him. “The only girl I’ve flirted with is in front of me.”

His other hand raised to wipe the tears from your face.

“I suppose my intentions could have been more clear, if you’re feeling this way. You should know I don’t invite just anyone to Hogsmeade.” 

You couldn’t find the words to respond. His words didn’t feel real. It felt like the world’s cruelest prank. Your uncertainty must’ve been written on your face because Sirius kept talking.

“Love, I’m gone for you. You’re the most perfect person I have ever seen and had the pleasure of knowing and spending time with. Slughorn pairing us together in third year? The biggest blessing, even if I didn’t know it at first.” 

He gave you a moment to process what he was saying, seeing if you had a response yet. You opened your mouth to try to say something but all that came out was a squeak.

“Let me be clear, I really, really, really like you. I want to take you on dates and spoil you like you deserve. I want to spend more time with you. I want to go to Hogsmeade with you and just you. I want to study with you, even if it ends up with you actually studying and me watching you… which is what usually happens when I’ve invited you in the past, in case you never noticed.”

You were beginning to smile, so he continued. 

“I want to hear you laugh. I want to talk to you in the corridors. I want to sit next to you during meals and be with you in the common room. I want to kiss you. I want to snuggle with you and hug you and hold you. I really mean it when I say you’re perfect. You’re so bloody gorgeous and if I have to blatantly flirt with you every day so that you believe it, I will. You just have to say the word.”

“Okay,” you said quietly in a shaky breath.

“Can… can I kiss you?”

You nodded and Sirius took a confident step toward you. He held your face with both of his hands before bringing your face to his. All of your insecurities don’t disappear in that moment like you’d want them to, but you felt more confident than you had in a while. You felt like you were on top of the world though. The boy you love likes you back; and you know this because you can’t fake a kiss like this.

[aleeyenn]

TALK POST FOR THE FIRST TIME IN FOREVER!!! hi guys!!!

art has been So hard for the past few months… like way harder than ever… the only art i do is for school at this point :[ i barely even doodle!!! it makes me really sad……. i think a lot of it has to do with my mental state. keeping it reaaall i’m currently in one of the worst emotional points in my life and have been for a while but Ugh!.. it’s gonna be okay in the end… aside from that i think it’s also art class that’s made it all so hard …

for those who don’t know, i’ve been in special art schools since 6th grade, like, schools you have to audition to be in… it’s been great!!! i love(d) meeting likeminded people and being able to relate to each other in a bunch of different ways!! i’ve made SO many friends and so many good memories!!! i’m now in my senior year of high school, half way through… it’s the final stretch for realsies! and i’m reflecting on how the art programs have made me feel about art….

there are SO many benefits that came with the programs minus meeting new people… my art wouldn’t be at the point it is at now without the lessons and expertise and critiques i’ve received from my teachers. i’m grateful i was even accepted into those classes in the first place!!!!!

the main gripe i have with everything tho is how CRAZY it kills your creative flow and enjoyment for art in general… i don’t necessarily blame my teachers, they’re just doing what they’re taught! but i feel like what they’re teaching is wrong in lots of ways…

they put mindsets on students that just… don’t make sense? “art block isn’t real! just draw!” art block isnt just not being able to draw… “every piece you make should be better than your last!” you shouldn’t have to constantly try to one-up yourself!

it’s just all these standards left and right that you have to meet to “be successful” and for your art to be ��good”. all of my art classmates and even from the grades below me agree that it’s certainly not the best!!! i can see why everything is the way it is, it’s for improvement and building skill, but i think it’s more damaging than helpful…

i’m SO nitpicky about my art. it’s hard for me to feel proud of things anymore because there’s Always something wrong with what i’m doing… and the way you have to compare yourself and your creations to other people as a grade to begin with is UGH! it’s just teaching students to be SO hard on themselves when art is literally just creating something!!!

the way your art looks shouldn’t determine your value, success, or even worth. art should be FUN!!! it’s a visual extension of yourself. it’s meant to be created with any intention in mind… it’s a reflection of YOU. it’s YOUR unique touch… it shouldn’t have to fit in any criteria!!! you should do what makes you happy!!!

art school can be a blessing but also such a buzzkill… i enjoyed it a lot but it also broke a part of me and it’s really unfortunate… i hope one day i will be able to reverse all those mindsets and relearn my love for drawing. i miss it so so so much…

my lesson to you guys is to not stop… do what makes YOU happy. don’t do things just to look good to others, try to impress YOURSELF. or don’t! just create! because your art is YOU. treat it nicely and don’t ever lose it!!! you can do ANYTHING! you can MAKE anything! if you really think about it, everything’s possible!!!

i think i would word everything better if i was on a stage with a microphone… i think i missed a lot of points too but i hope you all can get the gist of my perspective…

all i know is that i’m not going to be doing any professional art stuff in the future… it suits me better as a hobby!!! i want to be a nurse instead!

no more art school ranting… despite my poor mental health right now, things haven’t been all that bad!!! i hang out with my friends a lot and that’s made everything so much better! i love my friends!!! i love playing games with them and talking with them and going places with them SOOO MUCH!i also have a super amazing partner now too!!!!! they’re the best partner i could ever ask for!!! fun fact, over summer they watched bfdi to get closer with me when we went back to school ISNT THAT SO SWEET AAHHH also our nails are currently painted fireafy colors!!! we are matching!!! so cute… i appreciate them indulging me whenever they can HEHEHEHEEE

anyways i think i’m done talking now…. i’ve said my piece! i haven’t been active for a while So this is catch up time!!! ok bye!!! do something that makes you happy today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! or tonight!!!!!!!! or afternoon!!!!!!!!!!

[mr-payjay]

An essay on Clover :)

after having rewatched s3 in full again, i find that i finally understand the details of clover that had confounded me since forever. i didn't go in trying to study her, but a lot of my nickel analysis actually led me around back to understanding clover. she has a lovely story to her about kindness, generosity, and doing good things with purpose. i am pleased to have finally caught it (i have a few criticisms on the execution of it though, which i will address too). this isn’t a fancy essay, i’d say (i’ve been calling it a “freestyle essay”), but im just trying to summarize what i've talked about with friends and to put together some of my thoughts to present here.

Overview

so, an overview of her development. clover comes into the show, and she is… oblivious! she is self-centred and unaware of her surroundings (mind you, “self-centred” might sound like a negative word, but this is a neutral statement). she walks away from cabby’s presentation in snapshot showdown in the middle of it, not listening to her. in the same episode, she falls into some of nickel’s traps without even noticing, lost in her thoughts. she isnt a particular help to her team for a while. clover doesn't really think about other people or really get them, even thinking that nickel must've been following her around to admire her (self-centred, assuming only positive intent and a positive idea of her). only in tragedy at 60 feet, after box dies, does clover start to feel very self-conscious of her role in people’s lives. nickel specifically blames her, telling her that “what's lucky for her is painful for others”, and she Believes this. in try not to laugh challenge (the next episode), clover is trying to avoid people. she has realized how she can affect others and does not Wish to hurt anyone. nickel only makes this worse by continuing to remind her of it (“awful box-killer”). she refuses to look at the funny note at the beginning and gets awkward when [bow]bot tries to make her laugh, saying she doesn't deserve it. in the episode after that, best served cold, we see clover feeling guilty again after goo saves her when she falls, thinking that the luck had forced him to do it. for whatever reason candle agrees with this (kind of funny. why are you making it worse candle). through all of this, she does retain some of her classic optimism, but it is still very dampened by the guilt and discomfort shes going through now. and out of body experience is where this arc ends. clover starts off happy, telling nickel to stand next to her for a picture (he responds by saying her luck will knock him down a hill, and leaves). she idly goes to wish for an award, before silver spoon stops her, saying he wishes she wasn’t like this. she agrees (“Me too, Silver… Me too.”). and though we only find this out later, that’s what kickstarts the death of all the contestants and the subsequent bodyswaps. clover is overjoyed at losing her luck once she swaps with test tube! she tests out lots of things she could do before, reveling in losing her privilege. she’s comfortable again for once. she isn’t afraid of hurting others anymore and can go back to her regular, self-centred, oblivious mindset. no more Worrying. but then nickel realizes later on that the bridge collapse happened because of her and her wish to be “not like this” (to not have luck), so her luck, ironically, is what gave her this lucklessness. he blames clover for everyone dying, calling her a murderer as he yells about his frustration with her luck. as hurting people like this was clover’s worst fear—something she had been Vigorously avoiding for the past few episodes—she breaks down crying in guilt and runs away. there’s only one more scene before clover is eliminated. it’s when test tube goes to confront bot at the beach, where clover is.

she has calmed down on her own by now, but it’s only when she listens to test tube telling bot she’ll give them whatever she can offer to help that clover finally learns the lesson she was meant to. she forgives herself and finally lets go of that comfortable self-centred world she was living in. once we get to elimination, clover directly allows herself to be eliminated, now having realized she is in control of her luck. she has choices! she knows that now. nickel, still feeling remorseful from earlier, tells clover that her luck is the problem, not her. she responds by saying that the problem with her luck was that she was the only one benefiting from it. now, she realizes that she should put goodness into action, instead of trying to avoid doing something Bad. and she gives nickel the luck. she also tries to give everyone luck after that, but he stops her, insisting in a panic that it’s a curse. i think it’s interesting that she chose nickel for this first before anyone else, such a miserable, self-centred person. im surprised she figured it out so quickly, but they really do have their similarities, living in a self-centred mindset and pushing everyone away. though their situations are quite different, they both need to learn the value of community and supporting others to take the next step. she isn’t afraid of nickel. she isn’t angry at him. she wants him to learn the same lesson she did, which is why she tells him he’ll learn to “share the wealth” too, even after he freaks out on her again. and she remains this way, generous and kind, for the rest of the season. this was her arc.

Critique (constructive!)

i do have some criticisms on how her arc was executed. i think that her storyline is a wonderful lesson to teach children (as inanimate insanity IS a show for kids), and that once you can grasp it, it’s really beautiful to watch her mature. However. i do not think it is particularly clear. i think my biggest issue with it lies in out of body experience, after she runs away when nickel says it’s her luck who killed everyone. we only see one more scene with her before the elimination, where she is silently listening to test tube talk to bot while making little expressions about it. it is not clear what she is getting from this unless you sit down and Think about it. multiple of my friends actually said they thought clover was a stand-in for test tube because they had bodyswapped and that she was just reacting in general, not to signify anything about her story. i didn’t even remember her being here at ALL until i rewatched this episode specifically to find clover scenes. and ive watched s3 multiple times!! i should know she's there! i think the problem is that she is entirely quiet and that there are a ton of other scenes playing between her running away and the scene at the beach, which sort of fill your head and make you forget why she’s even here. bot really overshadows her too, their story reaching a very important point in this episode. and i think (with input from friends) that it would’ve made for a more harmonious episode, solid storyline, and well-rounded character relationships for clover to have been friends with bot. clover only has one interaction with bot before this (as far as i remember) while they are still very much bowbot, in try not to laugh challenge. if we had had an actual friendship between the two of them, their stories could’ve converged smoothly in out of body experience, instead of bot accidentally taking the spotlight and clover being relegated to a silent bystander listening to test tube’s speech. it could’ve led to them comforting each other (which fits into clover’s story as it’s about learning to help others) and providing clover with a connection to another character that isn’t nickel. clover and nickel’s stories are very interesting together, but the fact is that nickel isn’t really a friend to clover, even now. he’s her miserable therapy patient now, which is not friendship. i believe clover deserves someone who is truly her friend in canon to have helped her development come to light (ie a scene with her talking to someone would be much more memorable and comprehensible than her smiling at test tube and bot). it wouldn’t have to take away from her self-isolation either, it could add to it. bot trying to cheer her up and her awkwardly declining it in try not to laugh challenge is a great example of that. i’d love to have seen more of that. i can’t say for sure if this would be a flawless idea (as i do not know the process of writing the other storylines either), but i think it’s fun to ponder either way.

Clover’s perspective on Nickel

so i did learn how clover worked through understanding nickel first, as once i got what was going on with him, i could see through her eyes. for ages, i could not fathom WHY clover is so nice to him after he hurts her over and over, WHY she chooses to give him the luck, WHY she gets him to open up in blue buried and gives him advice. but now that i know him, i get why she has no hard feelings towards him. i lost all resentment towards nickel after analyzing him (even as a long time nickel fan, he still used to make me mad sometimes!). once you really grasp him, you realize that he is just… sad and scared! he acts like he’s constantly trying to survive. like a typical very traumatized and mentally ill person, in fact. clover, after learning that she can make her own choices and that she can Choose to help others, matured enough to understand him. she is not afraid of him or upset with him because she realizes that he feels helpless and like he isn’t able to change, like she used to worry about. he is self-centred like she used to be until she understood that she can make the choice to help. so she sympathizes. she tries to help him learn the same lesson. nickel never apologizes to clover, but she forgives him anyway without resentment, because she is above this now (note: completely different situation for suitcase, im not saying anyone and everyone should forgive nickel otherwise they’re immature, im just highlighting clover’s agency when making this choice). she recognizes that he is emotionally immature and approaches him with gentleness. i really love her persistence in trying to help him (even if i have qualms about the therapy thing). after nickel gains and loses her luck without learning the lesson she hoped for, clover doesn’t give up on him! she pushes further in blue buried, really trying to get him to understand this. she continues to give, to be kind, to help. she’s dedicated to her cause. it’s sweet. 

going back to the therapy thing, my issue with it is mostly the part in the interview where nickel implies he’s having continuous therapy with her. i would’ve preferred if it was a one-time thing in the episode itself, though i think it should’ve been presented a different way. as i don’t�� really like that she’s a girl giving therapy to a boy and taking on his emotional issues as a whole job. rather than just someone helping another who’s in need. you know. a random act of kindness. and when it becomes a continuous thing (as mentioned in the interview), it feels like the wrong connection for them to have. they can be friends, but not a therapist and patient. that changes things a lot. i also don’t like the way it reduces clover to being a Literal therapist taking care of the emotions of someone who’s hurt her over and over in the past. yes, she is allowed to choose to help him even with what he’s done to her, but once it’s repetitive… it does feel kind of exploitative, if that’s the right word for it. more than a therapist friend, an actual therapist to someone you have personal experience with (which is also an issue for the therapeutic relationship, as you are Not supposed to take on a client you already know personally, even casually). i may be taking a one-off line a bit too seriously here, but where would i be without driving myself crazy over every single little detail in inanimate insanity that i could possibly notice? i sure wouldn’t be writing this essay!

i did start writing more about nickel and the luck and how clover affects him, but im going to put that into a nickel essay. this is about clover. and i love her! she is someone who started off with no bad intentions but a lack of awareness, who learned how she affects others around her and decided to use that power to be Good. putting Effort into being good, Choosing to be good. she is intelligent, kind, optimistic, and has shown great maturity through her development. i think she is a wonderful gem of a character.

[serenelystrange]

This is a Happy Ending

Summary:

Everything is going dark now, and despite the heat, Eddie feels suddenly cold. He longs for that hug again, and to say goodbye to his son and to the man he loves. Figures, he thinks, that he didn’t realize it until his literal dying breaths.

T, Words: 2,438

Everyone lives! Rest of the Tags below the cut:

Near Death Experiences, Angst with a Happy Ending, Feelings Realization, Getting Together, Idiots in Love, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Sharing Clothes, Sharing a Bed

What a fucking cliché.

The thought flashes wryly through Eddie’s mind as he struggles to keep his eyes open in the oppressive smoky heat of the house that’s in pieces around him. He’s pinned by some rubble, radio crushed somewhere near him, and it wouldn’t be so bad really, except for how his mask is cracked and useless against his face. He laughs at himself, delirious from the lack of oxygen, and wishes he’d hugged Chris a little tighter that morning. He’s only been home a few months, and despite it all, Eddie didn’t think his last hug would come so soon.

At least he’ll have Buck, Eddie thinks, loopy laughter turning into a choked off coughing sob as his lungs struggle to work. Everything is going dark now, and despite the heat, Eddie feels suddenly cold. He longs for that hug again, and to say goodbye to his son and to the man he loves. Figures, he thinks, that he didn’t realize it until his literal dying breaths.

He tries to yell out Buck’s name, but all he manages is a strangled gasp as the world disappears around him.

“Come on, bud, you can do it, breathe for me.”

Eddie blinks up blearily as oxygen rushes into his lungs, seeing Chim’s worried expression above him as he holds the mask to Eddie’s face. He tries to talk and get up, but Hen appears from the other side and holds him in place on the gurney.

“You almost didn’t make it out of there,” Hen says quietly, “you are going to stay still and let us make sure you stay alive, you got it?”

Eddie slumps back but turns his head as much as the mask and Chim allow, looking around with wild eyes, spotting Bobby talking to a few firefighters from a nearby house. He looks back at Hen, glaring as he tries to sit up again.

“Easy,” Chim soothes, helping Hen hold him in place. “Everyone got out, don’t worry.”

Eddie relaxes a fraction at that, but doesn’t stop searching the area.

“Buck is fine,” Hen says as she realizes why he’s so upset. “He took in some smoke pulling you out; Cap has him in the other bus getting oxygen.”

“Not without a fight,” Chim snorts. “It took those big twins from 120 to help pull him away from you.”

Eddie tries to laugh, finds he doesn’t have the strength for it, but finally goes still with relief, closing his eyes and letting his body go fuzzy as his friends take care of him.

Buck’s waiting for him when Eddie is finally released from the hospital, because of course he is. Eddie gives him a half-smile, glad to be surprisingly injury free despite it all, but more than ready to sleep for a whole day straight.

“Ribs ok?” Buck asks as he stands from the chair in the otherwise empty waiting room.

“Not even bruised, somehow,” Eddie nods. “Why?”

Buck moves instead of answering, and suddenly he’s hugging Eddie so firmly that he can’t even hug him back at first, arms trapped in the tight ring of Buck’s arms.

“I still need to breathe though,” Eddie teases him gently, until Buck loosens his arms just enough that Eddie can hug him back properly, hooking his chin over Buck’s shoulder as he soaks in the heat of his body.

Buck is silent for once, drawing out the hug longer than they’ve ever done, until Eddie has to let go first and step away just enough to look at Buck’s face.

“Hey,” he says carefully, surprised to see the tears threatening to spill from Buck’s eyes. “Why are you crying? I’m fine, you’re fine. Cap said no fatalities. This is a happy ending, Buck.”

“I thought..” Buck starts, reaching up to rub away the wetness from his eyes before dropping his hands to his side and shoving them into the pocket of his sweatpants. “You weren’t breathing when I found you,” he says. “I couldn’t feel your breath anyway, or your pulse.”

“Buck,” Eddie says, remembering a flash of lightning and Buck’s dead body dangling above him.

“I thought I was carrying your corpse out,” Buck says hoarsely, lips trembling as he fights back a sob. “And all I could think about was having to tell Chris that I didn’t get to you in time.”

“I’m ok,” Eddie says.

He wishes he could promise that it will always be ok, that they are both guaranteed to make it home every shift, that Chris will always have them both. He can’t do that, but he can do his best to reassure Buck that they’ll live to fight another day.

“Let’s go home, yeah?” Eddie asks. “Tia Pepa took Chris for the night, which he’s pissed about, by the way. We can sleep this off and eat our body weight worth of ice cream.”

“Chris loves Pepa,” Buck frowns, letting Eddie lead him towards the exit.

“He was more annoyed I wouldn’t let him stay home all alone overnight,” Eddie laughs. “I’m sure Pepa has him stuffed full of good food and snug as a bug by now.”

Buck laughs, no doubt picturing Chris’ angry little face bundled up in a blanket burrito the same way Eddie is.

“Yeah,” Buck agrees, taking a deep breath. “Let’s go home.”

“You need anything from the loft, first?” Eddie asks as they climb into Buck’s jeep.

Buck shakes his head as they get buckled in and start the slow process of escaping the hospital parking lot.

"Not a thing.”

Eddie heads straight for the shower when they get home, leaving Buck on the couch to wait his turn. The warm water helps, and by the time he’s done, Eddie feels at least half more human than he had on the ride home. He wraps a towel around his waist and pokes his head out his room, calling to Buck to tell him the shower is free if he wants it.

“I’m stealing your Mountain Dew shirt,” Buck says as he comes in, heading straight for Eddie’s dresser and rifling through until he pulls out the green shirt and a pair of sweat shorts.

“Have at it,” Eddie laughs, “that thing is awful.”

It’s so ugly, is the thing. It’s bright and obnoxious, and two sizes too big for Eddie, and he only has it because it had been given out free at a baseball game. It is, however, absurdly soft and apparently perfectly baggy for Buck and his wide frame. So it stays in his drawer instead of the trash can where it belongs.

“You just done understand our love,” Buck says, holding the shirt close to his chest as he heads into the bathroom, earning an amused eyeroll from Eddie.

Eddie waits until he hears the water turn back on before he lets his body relax, and he dries himself roughly before pulling on his own pair of shorts and a loose black tank top. He putters around, texting Chris goodnight and good morning for whenever he wakes up, promising to pick him up in the afternoon, and plugs his phone in to charge after flipping it to do not disturb, except for his small list of allowed contacts.

By the time he’s settled into bed, Buck emerges from the bathroom, already dressed and squeezing the worst of the water from his hair before leaning back and tossing the towel into the bathroom hamper. Eddie hates that even in that ridiculous shirt, he finds Buck so beautiful that he kind of wants to cry about it.

“Going to sleep?” Buck asks, yawning around the words as he stretches his sore body out.

Eddie absolutely doesn’t stare at the way the motions pulls Buck’s borrowed shorts tight across his everything. Except for how he definitely does.

“Um,” Eddie stalls, brain trying to catch up to the question. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m pretty beat,” he says at last.

Buck just smiles at him fondly and nods.

“You did almost die today,” Buck says lightly, and Eddie can’t help but laugh.

“Oh, so we’re at the joking about it stage already?”

“Yup,” Buck says. “I cried it all out in the shower, that’ll buy me at least two days of near death experience jokes before I melt down again.”

“Good to know,” Eddie says solemnly, before cracking another grin. “We need to get some serious sleep, man.”

“The couch beckons me,” Buck agrees, heading for the door. “Blankets still in the cupboard?”

“Yeah,” Eddie says automatically, because the blankets are in fact in the cupboard. “Wait,” he says in the next moment. “Don’t.”

“Don’t?” Buck asks. “Don’t use the blankets?” He frowns in confusion. “I won’t get them dirty, I literally just showered.”

“No,” Eddie says, sighing at himself. “I mean don’t, uh, don’t sleep on the couch. There’s plenty of room here.”

“With you?” Buck asks, turning back towards Eddie slowly and watching him nod.

“We’ve shared before,” Eddie shrugs casually, as if his heart isn’t pounding in his chest.

“It’s not a very big bed for two grown men,” Buck says. “My mattress is bigger.”

“Afraid you’ll catch cooties?” Eddie huffs. “Just get in the bed, Buck.”

“Maybe you do have cooties,” Buck huffs back, but finally gives up and crawls under the covers and stretches out his legs with a relieved sigh.

“Hey, I’m not the one who dated the crypt keeper,” Eddie teases. “If anyone has cooties, it’s you.”

“Don’t be homophobic,” Buck says, turning on his side to face Eddie and swat at his shoulder for his comment.

“Not being homophobic, asshole,” Eddie snickers. “I’m being ageist. It’s not my fault you dated someone the Jurassic period.”

“You’re so mean,” Buck says, even as he cackles with laughter. “He wasn’t even that old.”

“Nah,” Eddie agrees. “But it’s fun to rile you up.”

“You’re the worst,” Buck says, eyes falling closed and nose still wrinkling with his amused grin.

“Love you, too,” Eddie says, but only once he’s sure Buck is fast asleep.

Eddie’s alarm wakes him up, and he groans as he reaches over and smacks at his phone until it stops making noise.

The space beside him is empty, and Eddie frowns, wondering where Buck went. The scent of coffee hits him in the next moment, and he feels a little big like a looney tunes character the way he wants to float over to the comforting promise of caffeine. He detours to the bathroom first, mindful of his angry bladder and cotton-mouth, but beelines to the kitchen the moment he’s done.

“Coffee?” Buck asks, leaning against the counter and gesturing to the counter where a no-doubt perfectly made cup of coffee sits waiting for him.

“Definitely,” Eddie says, giving Buck a soft smile as he takes in how cozy and adorably-stupid he looks in his dumb shirt. “But I need to do something first.”

“Ok?” Buck asks, gasping when he suddenly has Eddie’s sleep-warm body against his, and his lips on his own, kissing away whatever words were going to be next.

Buck sags back against the counter and wraps his arms around Eddie’s waist, pulling him close as they fall deeper into the kiss, teasing with fleeting touches of tongue and the sweet friction of morning stubble rubbing one another pink. Eddie slinks his hands up under Buck’s borrowed shirt and scratches at his chest lightly, before cupping each side of his ribs in both big hands, squeezing lightly and leaving his hands there, holding on.

In turn, Buck lets his own hands drift under Eddie’s tank top until they sit on the small of his back, right above the ass Buck can’t wait to properly appreciate, and uses them to pull Eddie even tighter against his own body. Eddie takes the hint and grinds against him lazily as they kiss.  It’s not enough to get them off, not really, but it’s a hazy sort of pleasure that fogs their brains up until there’s nothing in the world that exists but the heat of their lips and their shared breaths.

“What the hell was that?” Buck laughs when Eddie finally pulls away to breathe and removes his hands from Buck’s shirt. At Eddie’s crestfallen expression, he leans in to press another quick kiss to his lips in reassurance.

“Not complaining,” he clarifies. “So not complaining.”

“Good,” Eddie says, looking seconds away from jumping Buck again.

“Still gonna need an explanation,” Buck says. “Considering you told me you were straight like.. last week.”

“I was wrong,” Eddie shrugs. “And you’re so hot it makes me crazy.”

“Thank you?” Buck says, and that’s definitely not the expression Eddie wants to see on his face right now.

“What’s wrong?” Eddie asks. “Did you not want to kiss me?”

“Of course I wanted to kiss you,” Buck says immediately. “I just, uh. Never mind, actually. You should kiss me again.”

“Buck,” Eddie says, wondering how he already managed to screw this up. “What’s is it, sweetheart? Is this too much? Going too fast?”

Buck shakes his head and tries to lean in for another kiss, stopped by the hand Eddie places on his chest.

“I can’t do just this,” Buck says after a moment, gesturing between them.

“Monogamy?” Eddie asks, confused. “You love monogamy.”

“No,” Buck smiles briefly. “I meant I can’t just hook up with you. I can’t be casual with you, Eds.”

“I’m not asking you to,” Eddie says. “I’m so in love with you that you were the last thing I thought about as I was dying, Buck. Nothing about that is casual, and I don’t want it to be.”

“Oh,” Buck says softly, before breaking out in a wide grin. “That’s a relief.”

Eddie grins back, remembering a similar conversation months ago, and leans in for a soft kiss before pulling back again.

“This maybe does change some things between us,” he laughs. “But in a good way.”

“The best way,” Buck agrees. “I love you too, in case you didn’t know.”

“I figured,” Eddie teases, “but I really like hearing it anyway.”

“I’ll say it every day, then,” Buck beams. “You’ll be sick of me in no time.”

“Worth it,” Eddie shrugs, giving in to the urge to wrap himself around Buck in a hug that he readily returns.

“You were right,” Buck says softly into Eddie’s sleep-fluffed hair.

“Hmm?” Eddie asks, eyes closed and body more relaxed than he thinks it ever has been.

Buck presses a kiss into his hair before speaking again.

“This really is a happy ending.”

And just this once, every bit of Eddie’s body and soul agrees.

The End

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hi :) Before I ask my question I just wanted to say that I love how you characterize the twst boys in your writing and always take the effort of digging deep into these extremely (sometimes almost mind blowingly) complicated characters.  

So I am one of those people who loves making and seeing art of the twst boys genderbent. As I sometimes do admittedly lament twisted wonderlands lack of female cast members at times (though I do understand that having an all male cast is part of the games genre!) 

Anyway I was just wondering if the twst cast members were girls, would that in any way change the character development and dynamic of Epel and Vil in book 5? Because a large part of Epel's character development centres around his narrow, traditional ideas of gender roles and his internal need to feel “tough and manly”. Then Vil teaches him that femininity does not necessarily mean weakness and blah blah we know the story. Long story short, if Epel was a girl would that change her views on strength in any way? Would she feel the same need to be super tough and manly like her male counterpart? Would this change rewrite Epel's character arc entirely? Just wanted to know what you think. 

Hello and thank you for the compliment ^^ I work hard on my posts but especially on the analysis ones so I'm always really happy to see such positive reception to those efforts!

I love seeing Twst genderbend AUs too :DD My favorite interpretations have to be by tribbutribby (aka bunnyshadeow), who has made a few zines (Twisted Bimboland) with that theme in mind. I love how they don't just draw "the Twst boys, but with boobs"; they thought through every character and how they would actually be as a woman, from the designs to the personalities. For example, their fem!Leona has short hair because female lions don't have manes and their fem!Jamil is described as a cool onee-san type, which totally fits with what we know about Jamil. I also love that they actually have a variety in body types! Fem!Riddle is short and flat, fem!Floyd is tall and lanky, fem! Azul is more plump, fem!Jack has thunder thighs, etc. Highly recommend their works, CANNOT RECOMMEND THEIR WORKS ENOUGH!!!

If NRC were an all-girls school, I think the conflict between Epel and Vil in book 5 would have to be considerably rewritten. We could still explore gender identity and expression, but it would have to be framed differently because of Epel and Vil, the main players, being women and not men. I guess it would still be possible to have Epel have outdated views on gender roles (tradwife!Epel?????????), but it doesn't make much sense since... Epel's technically at an elite school instead of preparing to be a wife or something. That might also lead to a very stereotypical message with Vil coming in and telling Epel "actually, you can girlboss too".

It might be interesting to see an interpretation in which Epel is forced to live by gender roles, but then she tries to rebel against it + disparages femininity by being a tomboy?? And then the lesson Vil ends up instilling in her is that femininity shouldn't be underestimated, it can be a strength too. That would be similar to the original message imparted onto Epel, and I think it would be more nuanced and less predictable than the girl power version.

[tokyo-daaaamn-ji-gang]

I was wondering what Hanma, Baji, Draken, Peh and Mikey’s reactions would be to a S/O who so clearly lights up whenever she sees/hears their name. Like every time, with out fail. Where even they notice it. Thank you!!

That's sweet, here's how I think they would react!

Hanma-

Notices it immediately but takes a few days to test it out. You're very confused as to why Hanma keeps running off snd disappearing then suddenly appearing again for those few days but it is Hanma so don't really question it.

Actually get's a bit addicted to that look in your eyes during his little experiment, he's never seen anyone light up or be so happy to see him before

Vaguely wonders if he can capture it in a photo

He's still very amused by the whole thing though, he never would've guessed he would've had someone like this, you really did surprise him.

Eventually he mentions it to you, it sounds like he's genuinely thanking you for a moment until it quickly turns into teasing and how much you miss him everytime he leaves.

Baji-

The first time he realises you're doing it he looks around. His first thought is that there's a cat nearby (he recognises that Chifuyu looks like that when he spots one) then he wonders if maybe one of your friends are here????? He's a bit confused when he sees no one but then it dawns on him, this look is for him.

Get's a little flustered everytime he sees you after that

He's glad that you seem to like seeing him so much but he's unsure how to respond or what to do about it. Does he mention it???? Groans a lot trying to figure it out.

Eventually Chifuyu notices somethings up and Baji get's roped into some kind of crazy romantic Chifuyu plan. Which ends with him taking you on a big date and confessing that he's noticed how you light up whenever you see him and that he really likes it.

Draken-

Draken's always been pretty observant so notices pretty quickly but he has a few doubts. He wonders if it's for him or even if he's just seeing things (he's always been a bit hopeless with stuff like this)

After a while he accepts you light up for him though, it fits with your other loving behaviours towards him.

Vaguely considers mentioning it to you but decides to not, these looks are just for him and he wants to keep them that way.

It quickly becomes the favourite part of his day, getting home to you and seeing you light up as he walks in through the door.

Peh-

"Hey you're face just did this weird thing! It lit up!?"

Subtlety isn't exactly something Peh is known for so of course he blurts it out the first time he sees it.

Quickly backtracks at your surprised/ kinda upset look though, telling you that it looked cute and was nice in a very awkward way (if you mention anything about his blush rn he will deny it)

Brags about it a lot to Pah and his other friends, he just thinks it's really cool.

Always grins so happily whenever he sees you doing that.

Mikey-

"Hmm?" Get's very close to your face the first time he notices it, you think he's going in for a kiss at first but nope. He's just observing you by ignoring all concepts of personal space.

He figures it out pretty quickly (being around his hopeless romantic siblings for years meant he knew this look pretty well) but refuses to tell you. Instead he just happily hums and innocently says it's nothing.

Sometimes he asks you to do "the thing with your face" then pouts when you don't. He seems to think it's something you can do on demand rather then a reaction.

Doesn't let anyone walk in with him at the same time because that look is his alone and he doesn't wanna share it.

You never have any idea what he's talking about or why he get's so happy to see you and comments about how cute/ good you look.

[someverygaymoth]

what would Nightmare think if Dream smoked? -the yellow rose anon

I love the idea of Dream smoking! He's stressed and sleep deprived and he seriously needs to step outside. One thing I hate is a one dimensional happy all the time Dream.

Give me depressed, scared, sleep deprived Dream that is horrified of being in the spotlight and is stressed by big crowds because his eyes chase every trace of purple he can see in them, searching for a ghost.

I need him to be under constant pressure to do great, under constant pressure to be good enough to get his brother back, and yet, never quite shaking off the weight of his responsibility enough to catch up to Nightmare.

I need him to try to be social and try to think about anything but getting his brother back, only to end up pressured into a smoke a few times and never quite kicking the habit.

Nightmare would be horrified, by the way. If he found out once they were truced, he would lecture Dream about compromising the integrity of his body and tell him how bad it is for their bones. He'd be utterly asconced by Dream's neglect for his health. Dream would be both greatly annoyed, amused, and heartwarmed by that reaction. He'd try really hard to quit for Nightmare, but he more ends up cutting back than quitting. Eventually he'd get there.

If Nightmare found out while they were still fighting there would be more grabbing and punching involved with his lecture on the dangers of smoking. Dream would be pissed about Nightmare having the audacity to lecture him about his health while beating the hell out of him. Later, though, he'd feel a glimmer of hope and warmth about how much NM seemed to care about him, in that moment. Meanwhile Nightmare would be stressing about his health.

Yeah I think of Nightmare and Dream as some form of immortal and quick-healing, but I think small amounts of damage occurring over a long period of time could hurt them permanently, or quick big bursts of damage could leave them with scars or permanent damage. Smoking could make their bones brittle and pose a risk of breaks and joint problems, as well as staining. Those kinds of damages are permanent for them.

(Ex: Nightmare's back is always in pain because his tentacles have slowly been damaging his spine over the centuries.) (Ex: Dream still has scars from more severe injuries)

[everestgale]

I SLIDE U SMITTEN ACROSS THE FLOOR FOR THE CHARACTER ASK STUFF -OWL

SMITTEN OUR BELOVED...

[Send Me a Character and I'll List Ask Game]

favorite thing about them

Smitten is so full of love! And he is so open about his love! He loves the Princess no matter what she looks like, no matter what she does to you, how much hurt she inflicts on you. He will always love her! He is so passionate, so devoted to her, even to his own detriment-

Yes, my favorite thing about Smitten is how absolutely deranged and passionate he is. No, I am not sorry /lh

least favorite thing about them

This is less "least favorite thing about him" and more about disliking how some people misunderstand him as possessive and malicious in HEA. He is unhealthy and flawed, and he caused harm, absolutely, but he is not doing anything in HEA from the place of malice, and I will die on that hill <3

favorite line

"Oh, just you wait and see! My vengeance will echo the depths of my bereavement!"

brOTP

I really like the Grey Brothers (Skeptic + Smitten), I like the idea of them having a weird sibling-ish bond, but in a "distant sibling who you don't talk to much because you two are so different... but it's nice to chat and catch up sometimes, and you are still there for each other if you really need one another" kind of way.

OTP

Ironically, I don't actually ship Smitten all that much... who am I kidding, the answer is CheatedSmitten, and I really need to draw more of them when my wrist recovers, or I will EXPLODE-

(If you'd like a reason, a friend wrote a very nice description on how this ship would play out, and I've been rotating it in my head for a few weeks. Smitten, the kind of person to extend his heart wide open, but also to probably wonder if he will ever be enough after he disastrously failed with HEA... and Cheated, the guy who repeatedly failed over, and over, and over, and over, someone who would understand this feeling of not being enough- Okay, I gotta stop, otherwise it will take over this whole post)

nOTP

Definitely not a nOTP, it's just that out of popular Smitten ships, I have a very hard time imagining Smittunist (Smitten/Opportunist), and it's entirely because of how I designed and how I write both of them. In fact, I actually really like seeing how other people write and/or draw that ship!! So it's decisively a "me" and "my designs/interpretations" problem 💔

random headcanon

People-pleaser Smitten. You can see it throughout this entire post, I'm very deep in the "people-pleaser Smitten" headcanon mine, and I can't get out of it /lh

unpopular opinion

Once again, don't know how unpopular it is, but I think specifically in the Unknown Together ending, where Smitten knows that she left with the Long Quiet, while he would be sad for a while over the fact that the Princess is gone, he will eventually bounce back, accept the fact that she is happily with "the big guy" somewhere, wherever that might be, and then choose to extend his over-the-top loving self to other people (mainly, his fellow voices) <3

...this is specifically for the Unknown Together endings. If we're talking about A New and Unending Dawn... well, we get an entirely different Smitten.

song i associate with them

It's more of a mixed HEA + Smitten song, but there is no other song that I associate with Smitten more than this one, so "Predator" by The Crane Wives it is!

"What were you thinking? Shouldn't you know better? You took advantage of another anxious people pleaser"

I'm kind of obsessed with how these lines fit well as HEA singing about Smitten... but also as Smitten singing to the Long Quiet, or rather, you, the player, for choosing to stay in the cabin and create this "Happily Ever After" ending... only to be dissatisfied with it.

favorite picture of them

This is what happens when the character we're talking about is a disembodied voice who has no canon design. So! How about my favorite drawing of him, which is this illustration with the Damsel. Look at them! They are so happy :]

Ignore the fact that it's part of the illustration set and in the rest of the illustrations they are not so happy, that's not what the question was asking!

[onerockandroiitoomany]

my thoughts after seeing stex wembley :D

I saw the 25/1/25 Matinee!

We had a few swings/understudies on- Scott Hayward as Rusty, Lara Vina Uzcatia as Greaseball, Asher Forth as Electra, Jamie Cruttenden as Lumber, Jessie Angell as Slick, Red as Green Arrow, Charles Butcher as Orange Flash, Sam Gallacher as Killerwatt, Bethany Rose Lythgoe as Wrench and Gary Sheridan as Volta. They all did incredible!

I adore the little remixes they have of cut songs from the show that play in the lobby! I didn't notice them at first but I swear my ears pricked up when I realised I could hear the melody of There's Me! I think the full list of remixes were There's Me, Next Time You Fall in Love, A Lotta Locomotion and Right Place, Right Time (Please tell me if I've missed any!)

This is the first show I've ever been to where there's been a safety briefing beforehand! The staff are all incredibly professional although they aren't miced up, so if you are hard of hearing you may want to grab one beforehand to ask them to run you through everything.

We had a show stop! I was actually pretty hyped about this because I'd heard about them happening a few times and as someone with the tiniest experience running theatre tech I wanted to see how it worked! Everything was fine and it was sorted quickly. The stop happened right at the end of Crazy since the house lights kept flicking on and off.

The show sounds so much better in person! I've listened to the cast recording and seen a few bootlegs and the criticism that it's hard to understand is definitely because people are watching recordings of the show. I have auditory processing issues and was realising what some of the lyrics were mid-song when I was in the theatre!

I was sat trackside in the locomotive seats and I'm so glad I didn't buy a cheaper ticket because I could see the entire track, and so much happened directly in front of me! The crash during race 2 happened right where I was sitting, and Dinah and Porter were cheering for the final race in the aisle. At one point, Lumber skated right into the barrier and when I jumped, he turned around and said "Didn't see you there!" which I thought was so cute!

If you want cast interactions and you're near the track, cheer during the races! clap along to songs! of course, being trackside helps, but simply show how much you're loving the show and it pays off. The cast are absolutely incredible with interacting with the audience mid-show as well as during the megamix, and I was so happy with how many little moments that I got to see so close up! If you're recording the megamix, look up at the performers and not at your phone, too!

The only downside of this is that sometimes your view will be blocked- I missed a bit of one of the songs because Tassita was positioned directly in front of me and I couldn't see past! However, the cast are almost constantly moving, so you'll be alright.

I truly can't recommend the locomotive trackside seats enough- there's never any turning around and craning your neck during the races to see what's going on!

During the races, there are live camera feeds which show up on the screens around the theatre. I didn't notice it for a while, but it's the marshalls with the cameras, and it really makes you feel like you're watching a race!

Speaking of the marshalls, they're absolutely incredible! Some of the tricks they pull off are insane to see, and sometimes I felt like I was cheering for them more than the skate stunts!

There have been a few little tweaks made since the recording of the bootleg that was floated around. They're mostly just a few words changed in lines, but there's still new things to see!

Seeing all the tech live is breathtaking. It's one thing to see a video, but so many moments completely took my breath away, especially I Am the Starlight.

I've got so much more appreciation for Pearl and the Freights as characters now. Not that I didn't like them before, but I definitely love them more after the show!

By the end of Act 1, I had already decided I needed to see the show again! I felt like everything could have taken twice as long and I still would have loved it.

In short- if you can see this show please do! It is entertaining, thrilling, and absolutely worth your money no matter where you're sitting!

[avifaunaa]

how the world spins without you [ n.r. ] [ p.2 ]

AUTHORS NOTE: the amount of likes i got on chapter one blew my mind. i'm glad you guys enjoy it enough to have liked / reblogged! i'm still considerably new to writing on tumblr so i'm really happy with what i've been getting thus far! i hope you like this second part!

Masterlist

PART ONE

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!reader

Summary: Natasha has mastered the art of falling in love . . . she thinks. Having graduated with a shiny new degree and on your way to work with Tony in his labs, she was closer to you than ever. When an important mission pulls her away it leaves you both realizing how incredibly important it is that you don't skip the little moments you get.

Content Warnings: Mild angst, fluff, overabundance of Natasha being soft, reader referred to with she/her pronouns, smut, top!nat and bottom!reader, fingering [ n and r receiving ], MILD dumbification, MILD dedragation [ r receiving ] strap-on use [ r!receiving ], praise [ r!receiving ], hair-pulling, some finger-sucking

Word Count: ~7.7k

Natasha thinks you like Yelena.

That was her hope, anyway, when she asked her little sister to come finally meet the woman who had caught her eye and managed to peel her open and get even her most buried away memories and desires to be expressed in just a few short months.

It was a few days before you big day as Yelena sat across from Nat, sprawled across an armchair like an unruly child with legs spread open and propped over the legs. She chose where so sit this time despite Nat glancing longingly at her table.

She sat on the couch in front of the fireplace diagonal to her sister's armchair instead. She drank something strawberry-flavored today, a seasonal drink to draw in customers despite the business that the shop never seemed to lose.

She thinks you'd like it -- she hated it.

"So, you drag me here," the braided blonde begins, licking whipped cream off of her cold drink. Then proceeds to stick her finger inside to get more.

"Yelena that's disgusting."

"Who else is drinking this? Huh?" A perfectly arched eyebrow raised at her. "Is there a law against being disgusting? Pah." She popped her fingers in her mouth. "You are rude for interrupting me."

Natasha's eyes float up to the ceiling. Would Melina mind all that much if she killed Yelena?

She believes Alexi would be proud of her.

"As I was saying," the former Widow continued when Natasha did not speak, taking her silence as encouragement, "you drag me here and give me fattening sugary American drinks."

"I figured you'd like it," Natasha said, drink abandoned as she rests her hand on the armchair of the couch. "You eat nothing but Kraft. I try to get you other brands and you threaten to shoot me."

"Because the other brands are cardboard covered in plastic cheese!" Yelena threw her arms up, coffee still in hand, and uncrossed her legs to sit up rightly. "Nat I will never forgive you for trying to trick me into these poor excuses of mac-n-cheese. Truly. I know the difference. I am an assassin."

"Of store bought goods?"

Yelena scowled at her and used her straw to flick whipped cream in Nat's direction. The glob landed sadly on the couch cushion instead of where Yelena likely aimed: her forehead.

"Damn," the younger of the two whispered, stabbing her straw back into place.

"Clean that up," Natasha ordered, gesturing to the napkins left out for patrons on the coffee table.

"Yes mom," Yelena grumbles, but did it anyway and sniffed after a minute of sipping her drink like a scolded toddler. "You were right. This is a very delicious drink."

"How hard was it for you to admit that?"

"Very. But we have gotten off the topic of why you dragged me here and I know it is not just for this as much as I wish it was."

Natasha had to hand it to Yelena for her observance. The two of them were the Red Room's most prized creations of differing generations of Widows but both had been given the same end goal and similar orders at the end of the day.

Her sister was impulsive and quick to jump the gun -- but it normally worked in her favor and could be better in certain situations where Natasha's tendency to react more strategically may be too slow for some situations.

She tapped her index fingers together. "I am seeing someone. Someone who is important to me and I think I could find happiness with her if I continue to undo everything our upbringing has taught us."

Whatever Yelena had been expecting her to announce, it sure as hell wasn't that. The blonde adverted her eyes momentarily either in bafflement or incredulity before masking herself up with a sly smirk.

"Her?" Yelena purred, placing her cup on the side table separating them. "You've really been discovering yourself, haven't you, Sestra?"

"Suka," Natasha shot back, feeling the weight begin to lift off of her chest. She was worried for Yelena's response -- she didn't know if she expected disgust, anger, maybe doubt?

"We are not built for the type of relationships she might seek from you," Yelena finally says, her accent thickening with concern as she struggled not to regress into Russian to speak to Nat. "What have you told her . . . about everything?"

Natasha cupped her own chin with her hand and rested her elbow on the armrest. "Very little, but enough to paint her a picture that tells her it was an evil childhood. I am sure she did some searches on me and read whatever she found and if she did it did not seem to scare her off."

"You could hurt her."

A thorn struck at Natasha's heart. Yelena was truthful in all accounts, and she expected no lies or sugar-coated warnings from her and never would have in the first place. But it still hurt to hear Yelena have expressed what Natasha feared.

"I know," was all she replied, gaze turning to the weak fire in the fireplace.

"Or she could . . . hurt you very badly."

"That's always been a possibility, yes."

Yelena was silent for a moment. The two of them watched the fire as it crackled and attempted to keep itself alive with so little to work on.

"You like her very much," Yelena said -- not asked.

"I do," Natasha admitted and found her throat dry when she swallowed back everything she wanted to say.

Yelena nodded a couple of times, soaking in the words and reading the tone seeped within them. Then, "I will have to kill her very slowly if she makes you cry."

Natasha sniffled, watery eyes turning to her as a laugh broke from her chest.

Natasha watched you walk off the stage and she would not cry. But Gods — the pride she felt as she saw you stride with confidence was absolutely everything and more to her.

Kate had reached out to her and invited her to attend around the same time you had. Natasha had decided to surprise you and made up a quick lie by telling you she would be on a mission.

You were saddened but when she almost broke and ruined her and Kate’s plan, you and promised her that it was okay: everything else after would make up for it.

And now you were crying in her arms as her fingers ran through your silky hair, done beautifully for your day. Your introduction to Yelena was hilarious to her but that was something to look back on later.

Now the four of you sat in Kate’s hotel room. You were curled up tightly against Natasha freshly showered and dressed in one of her hoodies. Yelena and Kate were arguing about what movie to watch and Natasha had to intervene when Yelena pulled out her gun and slammed it on the table in the corner.

“I think I have the final say. We watch Brother Bear,” Yelena said, palm splayed on top of the weapon like it was nothing more than a trading card.

Kate stared at the gun, then at Yelena, then yelled, “Why the fuck are you carrying around a gun like a crazed woman? Like seriously? What the fuck?”

“You’re welcome if someone attacks us and I so happen to have the gun,” the blonde snarked back, nose wrinkling with frustration.

Kate threw her hands in the air then turned to you. “Dude — she just — did you see that?”

You blinked sleepily and were jerked out of Natasha’s warm embrace as the redhead suddenly got up and grabbed Yelena by the scruff. “Ow! Suka! What do you think you are doing?” She yowled as Natasha drags her over to the second bed.

Natasha flings the flailing woman down and crosses her arms. You sit upright and glare at Kate, who went from smirking to abashed at your gaze on her.

“Both of you are being childish,” Natasha said, striding back to the table and snatching the gun. She unloads it and packs the bullets and gun away in her bag. “Yelena that was first year shit you did, pulling your gun out and flashing it.”

Yelena flushed red and crossed her arms, pouting on the bed. “I do not like Finding Nemo. It is sad but not the good kind of sad.”

“Brother Bear is sadder!” Kate exclaims as she walks over and flops face first down next to Yelena.

“But there is vicious bears in it. That makes it fun again. Finding Nemo is just said.”

Natasha retakes her spot next to you, slinging an arm around you and pulling you in tight. “Well tough luck. I think we’re going to go with Spirited Away instead.”

You perked up at the suggestion as Nat worked on logging into the streaming service that offered the movie.

“What is that?” Yelena asked, scooting upward by the pillows and flinging her legs downward so that they landed hard on Kate’s back.

The brunette yelped out, shoving Yelena’s legs and sitting upright with an icy glare.

“Only the best movie ever,” you whispered as you stared up at Natasha covetedly in adoration.

Yelena kept demanding the movie be paused so she could ask questions about it. Anytime Natasha tried to answer, the blonde shushed her and waited for you to explain instead.

You explained patiently for her until the younger Russian was pleased and allowed the movie to continue.

Eventually you all — sans Natasha — fell asleep.

You got breakfast together at one your favorite places in town near campus and by then you and Yelena had developed a closer bond. She asked more about Spirited Away and if it had a sequel.

“I wish,” you groaned, flopping back in the booth dramatically as Kate patted your knee next to you. “The studio that made it though . . . It makes really good movies besides that one. I should show all of them to you.”

“Oh now you’ve done it,” Kate chirped and dug into her breakfast burrito without explaining further.

Yelena waves her off like a gnat. “I’d love to watch these movies with you if it means Kate Bishop will suffer.”

Kate’s head jerked up so quick, indignant and puffy in the chest. “First of all,” she said, echoing you from yesterday as she pointed a tater tot at the offender across from her, “I need you to go jump off a building immediately.”

“Did that. Hated it,” she shot back quickly in a bored tone despite the mischief that gleamed on her features. “What is your second of all.”

“Second of all,” Kate continued, then stopped. She blinked as Yelena’s shit-eating grin grew slowly, “Fuck you.”

Yelena gasped. “Kate Bishop how could you — why —“ she went on acting as if she were taken aback beyond fixing.

You and Natasha found each other’s eyes over your meals and you noticed the look in her eyes mirrored how engorged your heart felt in this moment.

Natasha was true to her word. You got an interview offer from Stark Industries — sent and signed by Tony Stark himself. It was about three weeks after your graduation and move back to New York which was entirely unexpected so soon.

It was early and you had slipped out of the warmth that Natasha exuded like a space heater. Dawn was making an entrance into your bedroom and you turned to look at your sleeping girlfriend through hooded eyes.

She looked so peaceful as she slept — and it was her time sleeping over at that. Her hesitance to do so had led to a necessary conversation as you tried to avoid pushing her too hard.

“I get night terrors sometimes,” she told you as she sat across from you on the bed and you leaned against the wall. “And not just . . . Not ones you see when you look up the signs on the Internet. Mine can be violent.”

You noticed how low her body was haunched as she made her confession to you, hands rubbing against each other and eyes avoiding yours.

“Nat.” Her gaze flicks to you as you push off the wall and get to your knees in front of her. “Do you think you could hurt me? Are they that often?”

She curled a strand of your hair around her finger. She treated you so delicately at times and it pissed you off to no end that there was a reason for it and you couldn’t fix it.

“They’re not often,” she comments while basking in your comfort offered to her. Being with you had made her realize that her touch-aversion was some form of touch-starvation if the person was right. She always seemed to be in contact with you if she could help it.

“Okay,” you finalized, standing up and resting a hand on her cheek. “Then why are you worried? If you have a terror while we’re together — we can make a plan so I can handle it properly. Or we learn as we go.” She then swallowed. “But if you . . . If you’re not comfortable . . .”

“I do,” she promised, leaning into your palm. “I’m just very worried. Hurting you is not something I could ever let myself live with.”

You ran a thumb down her cheekbone. “Then let’s try together. Slowly. Until you feel like that fear is no longer something realistic.”

She stayed over that night and has done so increasingly since. She hadn’t had a mission since before your graduation and she told you to expect her to be pulled at any second.

You took what you could get with Nat — time was precious and she gave you so much of herself.

A chill ran up your spine when the warmth of your bed and Nat’s hold escaped you; you quickly went to your closet to grab your thick and too-large robe and slip it on along with your sandals.

You kissed Natasha’s temple as you grabbed your apartment and mail key and headed out downstairs to where the front desk was already in to retrieve mail forgotten from this week.

You start flipping through it on your way up, pushing the button to your floor and inserting the key to allow it through.

It was mostly junk mail, a couple of offers for interviews at tech companies, and some reminders about returning her dorm keys. You already did.

The elevator dings open for you on your floor and you do not even look up as you continue flipping through. How much mail do you forget to grab?

You listen for the elevator doors to shut behind you and stopped halfway in your tracks when you flipped one of your bills to discover the white envelope with the large STARK INDUSTRIES stamped on the corner and your full fucking name and address on the front.

“Oh my fucking god,” you burst out in a high pitched scream, slamming the stack of unread mail onto the corner of your dining room table where it proceeded to spill onto the hardwood.

Care you did not — your mind was on one thing: showing your girlfriend this piece of news that was going to change your life. You scrambled on sock-clad feet across the hardwood to your bedroom, trying not to knock into corner walls.

Natasha had startled awake at your scream up and hair askew as she pulled out her gun from her pants in the middle of the floor, eyes frenzied and blurred from sleep.

You stopped in your doorway and she stopped too, gun lowered to the floor. You were practically vibrating where you stood, the early dawn sunlight that filtered into your apartment’s windows painting a beautiful portrait Natasha wanted on her walls.

“You scared me,” Natasha breathed as her body relaxed, thumping heart still loud against her chest. She shakily set the gun on the nightstand behind her. “What’s got you screeching like an injured creature, Malyshka?”

You beamed at her with excitement that was damn near contagious, scooting forward on your feet and jerking your arms out quickly with whatever you had in your hands as close to her face as you could get.

The absurdity of the entire show you were putting on in your glee was peaking her curiosity. So Natasha took your wrists in her hands and gently pushing them back about three inches from her face so she could see what it was. “Easy, my love. I need to be able to actually look at it.”

You said nothing back but kept that ear to ear grin and flushed excitement about you which read to your girlfriend that it was very good whatever it was you were bringing to her.

She focused on the envelope in your hands and steadied your grasp to ease the shaking. When her eyes scanned the words across the envelope, a slow grin of her own started creeping up on her face and she lowered your arms.

“Aren’t you going to open it?” she asked you proudly.

You glanced at the letter, then at her, then bit your lip. “I want to, yes. But more than that . . . I really wanna kiss you.”

Natasha smirked. “I should maybe be concerned that a letter from Stark gets you so affectionate, huh?” But she cups your cheeks and brings you in for a kiss anyways, sharing your excitement with you.

The interview took place at the Avengers Compound. Over the phone, Pepper Potts explained to you that you’d likely be working closely to the Avengers and thus with Tony. Where he went you would go. You were fine with that as long as you had access to the labs and could get your hands working.

Natasha was the one to drive you to the in-person interview once your background check came through clean. She was already someone with complete access and Tony wouldn’t have to send Happy or Pepper and increase your anxiety by sitting in silence.

Natasha knew how to filter out the nerves by keeping you occupied. She discussed the features of the Compound with you, and she mentions that you’ll finally get to meet her cat Liho who she’s been discussing in great detail to about you.

You had squeezed her hand and kissed the back of it before you were separated for the interview.

Tony liked you — maybe? You couldn’t tell through his highly-caffeinated, long-winded tour once you sped through the interview with him.

He had asked you mostly engineering questions . . . Oddly enough. No, “where do you see yourself in the next five years? What starting pay is best? What hours do you see working the most?”

“It’s all bullshit,” he said to you, leaning across his office desk with furrowed brows. “I plan on paying you your worth and if you’re as dedicated as you say you are, you’ll have trouble leaving the lab to sleep. And you’ll stay because I am the best there is in terms of what you want to do.”

He clocked it — but you shouldn’t have been entirely surprised. Money wasn’t much to him materially and he sat you down in the lab and watched as you began tinkering with things and babbling about their use.

He hired you within two hours.

Natasha, however, had to come hunt you down by seven at night. She found you and Tony buried into one of his suit’s arms as he was explaining the workings to you and what made it run.

“Agent Romanoff requests entrance, Mr. Stark. Shall I let her in?”

The voice above scared you. You jumped and admittingly almost twisted a wire or two. Tony scratched his chin and said, “I guess I should’ve told you about FRIDAY. That’s FRIDAY. She’s a good friend.”

“Thank you.”

“What is she?” You wondered. There was no indication of another person or even an intercom in the room.

“She’s an artificial intelligence I developed after Wanda’s husband decided he wanted to be a real boy,” the genius replied, leaning against the table to stare down at you. “She makes our lives a little easier but if you don’t want have an extesinal crisis I’d stay away from asking her if she has feelings.”

“Mr. Stark —“ the womanized AI started again, but Tony cut it off.

“Let Romanoff in. Let’s see what I’m in trouble for this time.”

The doors slid open with nothing more than a whisper and your girlfriend strides in. Her hair is up in a ponytail and she looks like she just got done doing something active. You let your eyes graze over her.

“Are you done hogging my girlfriend now, Stark?” Natasha questioned, rounding the workbench to look down at what had you so fascinated for hours.

“I suppose,” Tony said gloomily. “But don’t keep her away too long. I hired her and plan on squeezing her brain of all its important juices.”

Natasha leaned forward over your shoulder to kiss your cheek. Then she quirked a brow at Tony. “Juices stay in her brain or I’ll fuck up your suits.”

“Who makes your Widow Bites, again?”

Natasha pointed a steady finger in his direction. “Don’t test me, playboy.”

“You forgot the rest of the title.”

Natasha ignored him and leaned back down, kissing your cheeks in peppered pecks. The actions forced you to set down your tools and lean into her. “What’ve you been here doing, my love?”

“Mr. Stark is showing me how he makes his suits work and how else that technology can be used,” you told her, turning around on the stool to face her. You grin up at her, a twinkle bright in your eye. “This is so important and . . . God, Nat. I love this. Thank you.”

“Thank her?” Tony protests nearby, a clatter of objects following. “I cannot believe —“

You glance his way but Natasha puts a finger under your chin. “I’m glad your dream is coming to fruition, Malyshka,” she said, green eyes soft. “Would you like to spend the night?”

You stared up at her wide eyed. “Really? With you?”

Natasha’s answering smile was practically feral.

“Get out of my lab,” Tony grumbled. “And don’t come back until you’re decent tomorrow morning. With coffee!”

It’s been a year and you don’t think you could have made a career this successful this quickly. Not without the support of Natasha [ who insisted you could’ve done it anyway ].

But right now you were exhausted and more than anything felt like you needed a vacation. You had time built up waiting to be used but in the year you’ve been working at the Compound, no time felt right.

Natasha had gotten as busy as you not long after you started with missions that she would come home from bloodied and bruised. Patching her up was scarier than her leaving sometimes because you couldn’t tell which injuries were surface and which ones needed the keen eye of Doctor Cho.

You’d been stuck in the lab the last week and Natasha had left a month ago. She had found Wanda Maximoff — the Scarlett Witch who fell in love with Vision but ultimately lost him to Thanos as a sacrifice to save everyone else.

Natasha had looked at you grimly when she told you it was an undercover operation. You were confused, “Aren’t you sort of friends?”

“Yes, which might make it all the more volatile, sadly. She has taken a town under her control and Sam and I are both being sent in.” She leaned down to kiss you but you pulled back.

“A town? That’s . . . That sounds like a lot of power, Nat,” you whisper, uneasiness settling inside your gut. “Are you sure that it’s safe to go in?”

“It’s not safe,” she says slowly, gently. “But Wanda is my friend as you said and she is hurting but she’s lashing out at innocent people in response. It will look better from people she knows to break her from it than S.W.O.R.D. marching in. She is not on good terms with them.”

“I see.” You looked down at her suit and adjusted some things, fiddling mostly. She allowed you to do so even if nothing was really wrong with it. “Are your Widow Bites charged?”

“They could take down a bear,” she promised, then kissed you. “I’ll be back before you know it.”

“We’re taking a vacation,” you told her firmly. “I’ll ask Tony when you get back. He won’t protest . . . Much.”

Natasha smirks. “If he does, I’ll kick his ass.”

You watched her and Sam board the Quinjet already missing her. Once the aircraft was out of sight was when you dug yourself back into your work. Tony didn’t ask, but he would force more breaks on you that he didn’t give himself.

Sleeping by yourself had become a lonely affair without Nat; though you did have her ever-watchful companion of the night. Liho cuddled nicely most nights as long as you fed her on time. She was a good motivator to get out of the lab by seven at the latest.

Two months without Natasha and not a peep from her has you hyper focused on anything but her. You designed a new technology you hoped could enable pipes in some countries to not need replacement as much, and keep water fresh with auto-testers.

It was still a work in progress and Tony was not shy to peek over your shoulder and cross out when something wouldn’t work in his eyes — and usually he was right when you got to the phase where you created a prototype.

“Kid.” A rough hand landed on your shoulder. You jolted slightly, spilling screws and bolts and whatever else you had collected onto the floor around you.

“Fuck.” Your hand carded through your hair, messy from a day of non-stop work. “Sorry, Tony. I’ll pick it up. Just —“

“FRIDAY can get it,” he said just as a specialized roomba came humming out from a miniature doorway in the corner and started cleaning up the mess. “It’s like ten PM, kid. Go to your rooms.”

“I fed Liho already,” you murmured, picking at your thumb with your index finger as you went over your fifth blueprint. “She’s fine.”

“Not talking about the cat.”

You broke away from the small, dimly lit zone you had sequestered yourself into and turned. Tony was in some pajamas with fuzzy slippers.

“You know as well as anybody I don’t leave this lab,” he started, awkwardly shuffling his feet. “But look — Nat made me promise that you wouldn’t burn yourself out.”

You furrowed your brow, “I’m not burnt out. I’m fine.” Your head was pounding and you knew you stank since your last shower was the night before — but anything beat going back to that quiet place.

“You’re talking to deputy director of burnt out, I’m afraid,” Tony retorted, gesturing for you to stand. It was a standoff when you sort of just sat there and he waited expectantly. “Don’t make me be your boss, Y/N, seriously.”

You sighed, leaning backward enough to reach the lamp to flick it off and get up. Your muscles ached deeply when you wobbled across the lab to the doors.

“Night, kid,” Tony calls as he sets down the other hallway of the compound where his and Peppers’ rooms are located.

Liho meowed loudly, eyes like lamplights in the darkened floor of your rooms as you entered. She rubbed between your legs and purred thickly before darting off to Nat’s bedroom to wait in bed for you.

One hot shower later and you crawled into the sheets, curling around Natasha’s previously untouched pillows instead of yours. You missed her deeply. So deeply.

You hoped sleep would chase away the longing.

Natasha pressed a few switches and pulled a lever that allowed her to safely gear the Quinjet into a safe landing. She waited for everything to power down properly, drooping in her seat and rubbing at her eyes. One of them still healing from being bruised.

The town was unhexed and mostly unharmed. Just traumatized and distraught by the events that plagued them for two months by the mysterious witch that held them hostage.

Natasha and Sam had gone in so quickly — before Wanda had a second to realize there was a disturbance. They posed as a married couple and played along with her games — the way she ran her show.

Natasha ached deeply for Wanda. All she saw when witnessing these events were acts of a broken woman failed by the world. She understood why the witch had done it. If it had been you . . .

Natasha put her fingers against the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes, still waiting for the low beeping signal that would alert her that the Quinjet was finished cooling down.

They hadn’t expected a second witch. Not until Wanda figured out who she was and that was as soon as Wanda realized Natasha and Sam were there — not just creations she forgot she made.

It was a fucking disaster.

Wanda was gone. Again. She had defeated this other witch that seemed to have sought Wanda out for her power but as a result she ran without talking to Natasha.

She could still taste Wanda’s despair and shame.

“Nat.” Someone nudged her. She rolled the chair around and found Sam waiting for her. He gestured to the open backend of the Quinjet. “We’re home now. I think you should get some rest.”

Natasha smiled as she got to her feet, making sure she didn’t forget to do anything before following him out and making the trek across the landing zone to the Compound.

It was too early. Two in the morning — and she would only be crawling next to you in her bed and drinking in your scent and catching up on lost sleep. Hopefully.

Liho was not there to greet her.

It was disappointing — her cat was easily made a traitor it would appear. She dropped her bag on the ground by the door and made her way to the bedroom, leaning in the doorway.

Liho poked her head up, ears pinned back before realizing it was Natasha there and chirped a greeting. Rolled onto her back and purred loudly from her spot in the crook of your blanketed legs.

“Been keeping her company, Liho?” the spy asked, reaching over to skritch her behind the ears. “Good kitty.”

Liho blinked in agreement before releasing Nat to the bathroom, where she did her best to spot clean so she wouldn’t wake you with a full on shower.

She climbed into bed behind you and sighed when you seemed to automatically melt into her as if on instinct.

She was asleep within seconds.

You woke up to more warmth than Liho usually has in one tiny body to provide for you. You moved around and stretched, turning into the warmth —

You shot up.

“Where’s the fire?” Natasha grumbled as she turned back over and buried her face into the pillow without taking at least one hand off your body.

“When the fuck did you get home?” you fell completely on top of her in attempt to body hug her completely.

Nat groaned, but adjusted back onto her back so you could curl up on her chest. A hand went up the back of your shirt and traced the skin of your spine. “Uhh . . . Like two?”

You nosed under her chin, peppering kisses where bruises seemed to lay. “I wanted you unharmed.”

“Tried my best, Malyshka.”

You moved up and closer to her to grasp her chin between your thumb and index finger. She opened her green eyes and smiled crookedly at you. "Gonna just stare?"

You kissed her if nothing else, then to at least shut her up. She responded to the kiss instantly with need that outdid your own.

Her nails found home in the skin of your back, dragging carefully up and down as the kiss was deepened more than it already was. You pulled back, fully straddling her waist and was quick to remove your shirt. She let you.

"So beautiful," you breathed, nosing yourself into her neck and nibbling. She grunted as she pushed your ass closer to her in an attempt to keep you in place.

"You feel so good," Nat murmured back, straining her neck upwards to give you more access. With more openings to proceed and no reason to stop, your lips began a path at the same time your hand started floundering backwards for her shorts.

"Want 'em off," you breathed against her skin. It was too close to a whine for your liking but Natasha obeyed your request anyways and helped you to remove the shorts.

You pulled your lips away to situate yourself and brushed your fingers against her thigh. "Did you miss me?" you asked casually as you went about tracing random designs close but not close enough to where she wanted you.

"You know I did. Every day," she said, that normally composed woman of yours sounding rather out of breath.

You smiled and trailed your fingers a bit closer -- just barely brushing her slit. "I missed you too," you told her, reaching a finger into her pussy and gathering wetness and run it up to her clit.

She drew in air. "Malyshka," she said shortly, "teasing me is not in your favor. It has never worked before."

You ignored her and set a slow pace just as your hips started circling with your finger, adding some pressure onto your hand and more stimulation for yourself. Her hands found home on your hips.

You leaned in close to her ear without stopping, whispering so lowly that she could be forgiven if she hadn't heard it, "I touched myself so much thinking about you when you were gone. It was usually never enough, though. You always know what to do -- how to please me. Isn't it sad how I can't seem to please myself in the ways you seem to know how?"

Fingernails dug into your hips just as you sank two fingers into her cunt, your thumb replacing your index on her clit to keep the slow and steady circles going as you began to thrust into her.

She broke into Russian curses and brought her teeth to your shoulder, digging them in to keep from getting loud. You wished she didn't feel the need to contain herself -- she never had to with you.

"You're doing so good," Nat breathed around your shoulder, eyes squeezed tight as you pushed one hand deep into the mattress and reangled to try and find that one spot inside her that you know drives her insane.

"Fuck, Malyshka, right there," she moaned, abdomen flexing from the strain as you picked up your pace and your strength. She loved rough and you weren't one to deny it when she said words to you that had you putty in your hands.

Even when you fucked her she was in control in the most powerful way.

"I need you to make me come," was drawled in your ear, growing less composed the closer she was getting to her orgasm. You could fell it to in the way she spent longer clenched around your fingers and the way she grew wetter.

"Yeah?" you whisper back, locking in and going for broke as you began at a speed not usually in your range but the sounds and way Natasha clutched you encouraged you on.

"I'm so close."

"Then come for me," you begged her. You need to feel it, to see it, to fucking drink it in like you did with everything that was Natasha Romanoff.

The sting in your hips grew near unbearable as she crossed her legs behind your back and froze up. You fucked her through her orgasm and ensured not to look away one second.

It was a quiet thing, the way she came. Never too much noise but always expressive from the flush in her face and chest to the way her face goes lax in ways nobody else gets to see but you.

You helped her ride down the waves until she sank into the sheets, eyes opening onto the ceiling as her chest rose and fell heavily.

"Have you been practicing while I've been gone?" she wheezed, raking her fingers through her hair as you climbed off of her and licked your fingers clean of her.

"Oh yeah, I've got so much practice," you teased with a cheeky grin. "Me, myself, and my vibrator."

You suddenly had your world spun around too quickly for you to comprehend. Before you knew it, you found yourself looking up at Natasha.

"Stay," she ordered sternly, sliding off of your prone form and making her way to the closet.

You did not argue but you did watch her ass sway as she disappeared.

You were no better than a man.

She returned buckled into a harness, adjusting the straps and you peered up to see which dildo she chose. If it was the eight incher, you think you'd die.

It was the eight incher.

Your head fell heavily back onto the pillows and knew now that Natasha was taking no prisoners today as she settled her knees on the edge of the bed and dragged your ass all the way down.

She saw the look on your face and gained a wicked gleam to her eye. "What -- you thought you'd get away with what you just did? Not have consequences?"

"Kinda," you admitted.

"Appreciate the honesty -- but no dice." She smacked your ass. "Roll over, ass in the air."

You were purposefully slow in your movements, considering that she planned on undressing you and then straight up fucking you in this position and you decided to give her somewhat of a challenge in the process.

"Princess," she warned as she reached for the hem of your shirt. "You're being a brat."

"Sounds like a big problem . . . for you."

She ripped your shirt clean off to your chagrin, and made quick work with your sweats and underwear next. She ran open-palmed hands up the sides of your thighs and ass as she took in the sight of you.

Then her eyes glanced downward to your ass and she kicked your ankles open to where she could see your exposed pussy. Her mouth watered at how wet it was.

"Look at you," she husked, leaning over you and licking a stripe down your back. "So spread open and ready to take me. Do you need my fingers first, baby?"

Your reply was muffled by the sheets. Natasha took a handful of your hair and pulled your head up, "What was that?"

"Fingers first," you slurred and her lips quirked up at that hazy cloud starting to form in your eyes.

"Fingers first . . . ?" she trailed off, tugging just a bit harder.

"Please," you added quickly.

Natasha hummed with approval before dropping your head back onto the bed. "Alright -- since you're so fucking tight and need some fingers to loosen you up, I suppose I can warm you up."

You squeaked something out but Natasha did not force you to elaborate, knowing it was likely just garbled words anyway. She did not tease, did not draw it out. She simply thrusted three fingers in after testing your wetness.

Your body raised off the bed at the intrusion, "Nat," you whimpered clutching the sheets, "too much."

"Too much?" she repeated, raising a brow, "are you sure?"

She let you think about it as she worked her fingers in and out of you, and she removed one to give you a moment to think. "T-three, Natty."

"Are you sure?" she asked again, doing three fingers in and then two. Keeping you both over-and-under stimulated at once in the best way. "For such a smart, beautiful girl you sure are being dumb right now. Can't even make up your mind."

You whined a little into the sheets. "M'sorry. Feels good."

"Aw, I'm sure it does baby," Natasha crooned, lacing her tone with thick false sympathy. "Is that what's making it hard to think? How good it feels?"

She watched you nod into the bed. "S'lot, Natty."

"I bet," the redhead agreed, just barely brushing against your g-spot and never actually giving you enough pleasure to come. "Maybe I should go put my cock away if you're unsure if you can handle even three fingers."

"N-no!" you garbled, tightening around her suddenly. She brushed your hair from the nape of your neck and leaned down to kiss it tenderly. "Wanna take it."

"Oh baby, I want you to take it too," she says, nibbling a mark where she started a kiss. "But are you so sure you can handle it? You're so sensitive today."

"Yes! Yes I can handle it," you promised raptly, ass starting to arch higher and meeting Natasha's thrust with fevered passion. "P-please. Wanna take it."

"Okay, okay, Malyshka," she soothed and moved her lips to pepper kisses along what parts of her face was exposed to her. "Okay. You can have my cock because you're a good girl and good girls get what they need."

The praise sent a jerk through your nervous system at the same time as she pulled out with her fingers intentionally running along your walls.

She eyes the fingers covered in your wetness and resists the urge to lick them clean. Rather she decides to give your mouth something to do by putting them up to you, "Suck, baby."

Just as you took her fingers into your mouth you let out a low noise that was damn near animalistic as Natasha took you with her cock. She slipped in smoothly, eyes twitching at the pressure she felt at the base on her.

With her free hand she slithers down between your body and the surface of the bed so she could start putting pressure on your engorged clit.

She let you adjust before deciding to finally, after a few seconds of waiting, begin slow movements that already had shivers wracking through you.

She decides to talk you through them, to bring you as much pleasure as she possibly can in this moment after two months of not touching you at all, "How's it feel? Is my cock hitting you where it should?"

"S'full," you somehow managed. Well, if you were still talking . . . she pulled all the way out and pushed back in at a punishing pace.

"Gonna try to keep you full, too," she went on as her rotations on your clit began to increase and grew rougher. You were suffocating her cock and if she could truly feel it like a man . . .

"My Gods," she laughed mockingly, "were you this desperate for my touch that you're melting this quickly? I've not been inside you that long, Malyshka."

Whatever noise you made went right through Nat's ears. She was rough and unforgiving now as she practically had you choking on her fingers while the tip of the dildo brushed repeatedly on your g-spot.

Your thighs were trembling with signs that you were close even if you could not so much as whisper a word to tell Nat.

She knew your tells anyway -- just as you knew hers. You were drooling around her fingers and unable to form coherent sentences, you were grinding her hand into the sheets and giving her a rug-burn more than likely, and you were stuttering with every wave of near-pleasure that shocked you.

Natasha decided denying and playing the game of keepaway wasn't on the table today. She wanted to make you come.

It didn't take very long. One good jab of her thumb into your clit timed with her cock hitting just right sent you spiraling into a squealing orgasm that was wracking your entire body.

Natasha was left startled when she found it hard to fuck you through it, growing slippery and soaking the sheets beneath the two of you as another orgasm crashed through you with her fingers still working you.

As the pleasure ebbed away into fuzzy content, Natasha collapsed over your back and breathing against you in a way that brought immense comfort, you slowly came back to yourself.

You nipped her fingers.

Natasha scoffed as she pulled them out, leaning down to give you kisses wherever she could reach. "I make you squirt like a fountain and you bite me?"

You rolled over so that her hands were forced to settle on your knees. The strap-on had been removed at some point in your daze and was thrown aside to be washed later.

"I am never letting you go," you announced, peering up at her with a dopy smile. "That was literally mind-shattering."

Natasha rolled her eyes. "At least you find me good for something." She helped you sit up. "Are you okay?"

"Did you just not hear me say mind-shattering? As in . . . orgasms?"

"Okay, smartass." She pinched your hip and was rewarded with a yelp as she pushed you to your feet. "To the bath with you. I'm changing the sheets and setting us up for vacation then calling Tony. Get a bath ready or else."

You smiled and leaned in the doorway to your bathroom, eyeing her. "You're so cute when you're determined."

"When it comes to the axis my world spins on," Natasha said, growing serious as she walked over to you and rested her forehead against yours, "nothing could pry me away from what I want."

[buckgasms]

Ok I did a bit more thinking about this post

Naturally I got very carried away and added some romantic smut towards the end. Sorry not sorry. Enjoy ✨

So let's say your Witcher Bucky is invited to some fancy event at a palace, and you beg him to take you because you've never been anywhere like that before.

And even though he thinks those events are more trouble than they are worth, he can't resist the way your eyes shine and you squeeze at his arms as you playfully pout at him. So he relents.

You venture into town for a dress for the occasion, and whilst nothing really feels right you end up picking a dress that makes you feel good, matches your eyes and when you twirl a little it swishes around with you.

It takes a few days to travel there, but you are happy to spend time together. He tells you stories about places you come across, some are funny, others are a bit like something from a horror story. You definitely snuggle up closer to him each evening, worried about monsters finding you. But he keeps you safe, letting you press your body into his. He doesn't mind that at all.

A problem arises when he sees you in the dress. He is gobsmacked at how beautiful you look, and he has no interest in leaving the room for a stupid party when you look like that. He growls as his hands slide over the soft fabric, squeezing at your waist. You giggle and pull him in for a kiss, promising him that he can do what he likes with it after the party.

Once you get there, you both keep to the sidelines, watching all the fancy people gliding around the room, laughing loudly and making a show of who they know. Some people come up to Bucky with quiet respect, shaking his hand and complimenting your dress. They say things like, "he saved my life" or "I owe him everything for what he did for me..." When you are alone again you link your arm into his and pull him down to kiss his cheek. Pride swells in your chest as a faint pink tinges his skin.

I'm going to say something happens. Like a mini disaster. Maybe an uninvited guest arrives and starts threatening the other partygoers, or makes a threat to the royal family. Chaos descends and you get separated from him. It's just a clash of swords and blood and shouting that sends you fleeing to a dark corner, praying it all ends soon.

Married life is quiet and safe. This is not that.

When the madness ends you are discovered by Bucky, his face pale and full of worry.

"Are you hurt?" You both say breathlessly as he takes you in his arms. You say you're fine and he indicates no damage as he pulls you from your hiding place. But as you look at the carnage your legs stop working and you are frozen in place. You can't walk through that.

Without hesitation he lifts you into his arms and you bury your face into his neck, gripping his hair between your fingers as he paces out of the room. He's muttering how everything is ok and he has you, the sound making his chest vibrate, oddly soothing as you cling tighter.

Finally you are back in the room of the little inn you are staying in. You'd both like to go home but it's a two day ride and that's out of the question with the state you are in.

Moments after he sets you down you notice a cut on his arm and spring into panic/action mode. You fly around the room babbling apologies for making him carry you and hunt for your little pack of bandages and medicine.

It takes him grabbing your face and making you look at him to stop your panicked babbling.

"I'm ok sweetheart, it'll heal itself in no time..."

The softness of his voice immediately sends you into a flood of tears, collapsing into his chest, telling him how much you love him and how you don't know what you would do without him. He chuckles softly, stroking your hair and occasionally wiping away your tears.

When you calm down a little he sets you on the bed and pulls off his filthy clothes, tossing them in a corner before kicking off his boots. You kneel on the mattress and he comes to you, letting you help him remove his shirt, exposing his broad, hairy chest to your soft fingers. His hands reach for your body and he tuts.

"Your pretty dress is ruined"

You look down and see the marks and dirt on it before meeting his eyes.

"Take it off?" You ask and he obliges, pulling at the skirt until it glides over your head, leaving you almost bare in front of him. Having forgone a bra, as none of yours suited the dress, you are immediately exposed to him and his hungry eyes. You were worried about it this morning, but you didn't care now.

He pulls you in, cupping your cheeks and pressing soft but desperate kisses to your lips, travelling over your cheeks and throat. You return what you can, letting your hands explore him, sighing when he kisses those certain magic spots.

More clothes hit the floor before he nudges you backwards, slowing guiding you to lay on the mattress, his huge form towering above you.

He grips your ankle and pulls it up to his lips, before trailing along your shin and placing more kisses to your knees. He alternates before sucking gently at your soft thighs, peppering them with little marks of devotion. Your hands grip his hair, trying to guide him to where you want him most, and he obliges, although painfully slowly.

He pushes your thighs wide, holding them open with ease, still kissing the soft skin there, tantalising close to your folds until you groan his name.

"Please... Please do it..."

He chuckles, always enjoying your shyness at asking and he grins up at you.

"Ask me properly my love. Don't be shy..."

You groan and feel heat burn your body as his smile gets wider. More teasing kisses are given as he waits patiently for you to relent.

"Will you....can you....kiss me....here?"

You spread your legs a little wider as an offering and, taking pity on you, he relents. You tried your best and he's happy to help you work on that later. For now he dives in, kissing and sucking at your folds, his tongue expertly torturing you in the most perfect way. You cry out in relief as the pressure starts building, writhing under him as he spoils you.

He slips a finger in as he sucks hard on your clit, groaning at the way your body reacts to his actions. You whimper at the sensation, digging your fingers into the mattress. The coil in your belly tightens to breaking point as his fingers curl and his tongue flicks enough to send you over the edge.

As you catch your breath he continues his path, more kisses to your hips and stomach, making you giggle as it tickles. He lavishes attention on your breasts, sucking and nipping at your impossibly soft skin.

When he finally reaches your face you are a wreck. Eyes glassy with emotion, lips swollen from biting them and your hands gripping his face so tight he wonders if you are scared to let him go.

"I'm here darling. I'm here and I'll never let you go..."

You emit a little sob as you pull him to you, kissing him like you might die if you don't. You wriggle a little until you can feel his hard cock line up with your heat, still kissing him and holding him tight to keep you grounded.

He groans as you make contact, jolting a little as feels your wetness drag across his cock.

"Bucky please..."

He pulls away the slightest amount to allow him to sink into you before he's back, pressing the full weight of his body into yours. He's barely moving within you but you both pant and moan as he stretches you, the sensation enough to make you see stars.

"I love you"

Both of you whisper it, between kisses and bites and groans. His pace increases and your legs shake, tears slipping down your cheeks as he reminds you of who you belong to, and what he would do for you.

"I've got you baby, just let go..."

"No one's ever gonna hurt my girl, my wife...mine"

"Fuck...you feel what you do to me? You see how you make me crazy sweetheart...."

It all adds to the heady atmosphere and as he fucks you harder and deeper you feel the coil snap again, harder and longer than before.

He curses as your climax sets of his own, holding you still as he fills you up, kissing and praising you for taking him so well.

You curl up into his body after he collapses next to you, his arms scooping you in closer still and you swap lazy kisses and gentle strokes to his cheeks and chin.

You start to drift off, exhaustion finally settling over you but you whisper one more 'i love you' which he easily returns, and he starts counting down the seconds before he can take you back home...

[starmanbyler]

i’m rlly wondering how they deal with milkvan at the start of s5 because i don’t know how they would have moved on immediately following the monologue. like there is no way there wasn’t a conversation at least a few days or weeks later like are they still together and happy in s5? are they in a weird limbo like they were towards the middle-end of s3 (does your species like m&ms onwards) where they have supposedly made up but they don’t seem to be in a relationship anymore? and interestingly that limbo ended with el saying i love you too. would she really do that again? i don’t think so tbh