#(it doesn't really but i usually look for certain lighting ranges)
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#horizon zero dawn#hzd photomode#hzd remaster#oh how i love being logged out in the middle of uploading pics i have a hard time finding in my folders because everything looks the same#(it doesn't really but i usually look for certain lighting ranges)#(and since i took these during two different sessions and during different times of day/quest stages)#(the difference is quite large)
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Oh uh forgot to ask in the previous ask (the one with the digital piece of candy and scurrying and stuff)
How do you draw art so good
Like
Is there a method you use or is that just the style you've gotten over time?
you've activated my trap card
I'm just gonna preface that this tutorial is from someone who was not professionally trained and didn't have a lot of free time for art, so a lot of the tips I have is short cuts I use to get the best results quickly
If you genuinely want to get better at art then please look at references and practice that is always the best
However if you are like me and only really do art for fun but want to go faster then these are for you pfppt
Overall I'd say my style is influenced by speedpaints I would watch when I was younger, I like analyzing how people do things and what makes something look "good" to me
I always recommend watching them because they will often have techniques you've never seen before or do things a certain way that you can try out yourself
I consume good art, it feeds me
but seriously it can be super helpful when developing your own methodology, or just generally trying something new
Usually it starts with me pulling some references from artists I really admire and sort of sketching out how they do the things I like
For example 8um8le has like super good anatomy and poses so I focused on trying to replicate how they do that
venemous-qwille is super good at color and pulling focus so that's what I focused on in my study of them
In general I'd say my process is sketch -> silhouette -> color -> shading -> render
I really don't like doing lineart lol
I'd say for the sketch the most important part is using references and just kind of fudging it until it looks correct anatomically/physically
General rule of thumb is spend time on areas of interest, and keep non important areas light (like the stitching on his pants)
I don't do lineart because I think its unnecessary for most paintings I do
I naturally tend to put more time and focus on areas of interest (like hands and feet) and if you use a brush with opacity for the sketch, those areas are naturally going to be darker in the final sketch
Of course this is gonna be different for everyone but it's what works for me
Sometimes I do a really really sketchy layer underneath my sketch/lineart, just so I know where everything is going
Use thumbnails! They are great to help figure out the general layout of things and what pose I wanna do
Next is what I call the "silhouette" layer
This is super important for me cause it helps me refine the figure and make sure the pose/anatomy looks correct, also depending on what color I choose for the silhouette helps guide what colors I'm going to use on top
This piece is a good example of how it works. The silhouette shows me how the figure interacts with the background, how the pose looks and if its any good
The silhouette layer doesn't have to be super clean, as long as it follows the sketch decently well and shows where the figure is then its fine
I also sometimes make the silhouette layer multiple colors to help guide shading and vibe
Next is the coloring layer. I usually make this a clipping layer on top of the silhouette layer, or I change the silhouette layer to alpha lock, either way it saves me time on coloring everything in
Sometimes I am super rough with the coloring too, using like an airbrush or my fav watercolor brush just to generically block in color where I want it
Works out cause most objects have like a bounce light to them from surrounding objects, so this is sort of a cheat I use to get that effect without all the work lol
Also don't be afraid to have the lower silhouette layer shining through, having multiple colors sort of subtly shining through the piece helps lots
Next is the shading layer, this is usually another clipping layer, usually set to "multiply"
The colors I pick here is usually within this range, any color works, just depends on the piece and vibes.
Since this piece is set in a sunset forest I choose a more desaturated orange for the shading layer
I know there's a whole thing about multiply layer being a crutch (and it kind of it) but it is a useful tool when you just want some darker values across the piece but don't want to go through the process of color picking every single darker shade
Also in my opinion it looks better than picking a darker color and setting it to a lower opacity, idk I just think the color has more "depth"
Next is the hardest to explain, sort of the vibes layer
Usually its just a layer of more concentrated color on top of the normal color and I fudge with the settings and values until I get a result I like
Next is the longest step, is the "extra" or the render stage.
Usually I add a background before this step so that if I need to merge the figure better with the background I can
If I render with a white background but he's supposed to be in a dark forest, its going to mess with the lighting severely
Also this is when I add more "vibe" layers on top to get the figure to match the background better
Backgrounds in general I recommend checking out @/derekdomnicdsouza on instagram he's got lots of great tutorials for breaking down backgrounds simply
I'd say general rule for the rendering layer is to focus on the areas of interest and spend less time on areas you don't care about
I even blur stuff out on the edges I don't want people to see, partially to save time on fixing mistakes in areas I dont care about (oop), but mainly to help draw the eye to the areas I do want people to focus on
Theoretically parts of the background should like mesh with the characters, parrallel lines are a no no unless they are directing a viewer to look somewhere, things that are perpendicular help bring things together
tbh I'm still not the best at layout and probably need more practice, but overall this is what I like doing
Overall this is what my layer set up ends up being
Sort of a sandwich with the lineart/sketch as the "meat" lol
Color and basic shading below the sketch, clean-up and rendering on top
I like this method cause it's super flexible if I ever want to try something different or try to replicate someone's style
I can make each step less or more messy depending on the end result and can add a lineart layer if need be. Also if there's a part that is straight up not working or needs to be removed its super easy to do cause I can just paint over it on the "extras" layer, color picking from the surrounding area to get the same vibe
Generally rule of thumb for my style is: get the initial layout of colors, form and shading to look good, then the rendering should be smooth sailing
Really the best advice I can give to get better at art is to enjoy what you're doing and become very very obsessed with drawing a silly little guy
You'll eventually get very good at drawing them pfptpf
#sundrop#moondrop#long post#art tutorial#fnaf sun#fnaf moon#I draw them way too much holy guac#ask#this is for you asker#idk if anyone else is interested in this kind of stuff#i apologize for ranting lol#also me struggling to spell silhouette like 15 times
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Fuck JKR: How To Create A Harry Potter-Esque Aesthetic Without Any Harry Potter In It
So I saw a few posts from people mentioning that a reason people might be into Harry Potter is because of the aesthetic or atmosphere, and ya know what? I can't even argue that, because if there's one thing about HP, it's that it Sure Does Have Aesthetic And Atmosphere.
So! I'm gonna tell you how to STEAL ITS LOOK! Because:
JK Rowling considers ANY support of her work to be support of her politics.
Fan content/fan merch is still free advertisement for Rowling's work. YOU might not choose to give her money, but you can't be sure you won't pull people into the fandom who will.
Everyone should create more things that aren't tied to corporate-owned IP, period.
So. Most things in these films have an aged, antique look. You'll see a lot of brown hues, both on sets and on people's clothes. There's a lot of near-blacks (especially charcoals and walnuts) and lighter grays on the sets, especially from the third film onwards. (Wood is more often than not stained dark, while lighter hues are often provided by bricks or plaster.) The last two films use a lot of stormy blues and grays. Prisoner of Azkaban also emphasizes contrast between tones, which heightens a sense of texture. True black also appears throughout the films, such as on students' uniforms and many Death Eaters' outfits, and on the chairs in Malfoy Manor. White appears occasionally, especially on Hedwig, students' shirts, or during winter scenes, but pure white isn't otherwise really common. Paper or parchment is usually warm beige. There's also a lot of silver, gold, and brass, often appearing on things like dishware, tools, trinkets, Christmas baubles, and so forth. Bronze also comes up occasionally.
Reds, yellows, blues, and greens are pretty common throughout the films, even outside of Hogwarts, though you'll see just about every color somewhere. For example, orange is often found around the Weasleys, and orange, maroon, and purple feature in the divination classroom. Teal features prominently in Grimmauld Place (contrasted with saffron yellows).
Most colors aren't really super bright; a lot of the time they look a little faded, or like they're colored with natural dyes. If you use medieval illustrations to source your colors, or aim for earth tones and jewel tones, you'll be about right for a lot of what you see in the films. Bright colors are pretty rare; some of the brights we do see are in Honeydukes, Weasleys' Wizarding Wheezes, and certain magical effects, such as Floo fire.
A lot of light is provided by candles, torches, or fireplaces, which cast a warm yellow/orange light. Moonlight is represented by blue light in the first and second films. Blue light is also used for the Goblet of Fire and the penseive.
Another thing you gotta have in there is clutter. It should look kinda antique and give off a kind of magical or mystical atmosphere. Think books, storage jars, orreries, crystal balls, old lamps, antique clocks, vintage glassware, antique mirrors, old teapots, and little metal trinkets. (If you're trying to decorate a physical room, your stuff doesn't have to actually be antique, of course; antique-styled is fine.)
Texture is also very important, which can be represented with full or top grain leather book covers, stone walls, dents and scratches, cracks, embellishments, and embossing. Additionally, all damage and wear gives a sense of oldness to things. Stains and variegated colors also add interest. (If you're decorating a physical space, you might look into aging/distressing/antiquing techniques.)
If you want a space to look cozy, you don't really want bare or blank walls. Shelves, paintings, tapestries, and wallpaper can all help with that. Again, use brown, rather than black. Warm, yellow lighting will also help. If you lean toward blacks and cool lighting, you're going to have a colder-looking space.
Fashion in the wizarding world is extremely all over the place, ranging from stereotypical fantasy witch and wizard clothing, to pretty normal vintage clothing, to some wacky vintage-inspired looks, to the kind of fashion that would be put under the cozycore umbrella, to ordinary modern clothing. One thing that's absent is subculture fashion as we know it. (Bellatrix Lestrange does look kinda goth, but it's less a subculture thing, and more a "yeah we're putting our bad guys in fancy black stuff" thing.)
If you're trying to lean into the whole quirky/eccentric/old-fashioned kinda thing, you'll want to pass over the more modern and obviously synthetic type stuff. Also, patterns, textured fabrics, knits, mixed colors, lace, and other embellishments can add interest to outfits.
Architecture is also all over the place. Hogwarts is pretty medieval, while places like Diagon Alley give more Victorian vibe. The main thing is looking old fashioned and quaint.
To try and summarize all of that:
Browns. Lots and lots and lots of browns. Blacks and grays, too. Contrast between light and dark browns and blacks/grays.
More beige and gray than pure white; more charcoal gray and dark walnut brown than true black.
Among other colors, mostly earth tones and jewel tones. Very limited brights.
Polished metal and glass also add shininess.
Old-fashioned. Vintage. Antique.
Clutter, texture, patterns, variegation. Minimalist/clean aesthetic avoided.
Aged and distressed.
Lighting often yellow/orange due to coming from fire. Blue/teal light often coming from moonlight and certain magical light sources.
Now, here are some things we actually don't see. I'm not mentioning them to discourage you from using them if they're what you really want, but to inform you about them so you can consider whether they might throw off the vibe for you:
Green/purple/black combos.
Purple/silver/black combos. Pink/purple/teal combos.
Pink/black combos.
Orange/black combos.
Green/orange/purple combos.
Red/black combos.
Basically a lot of combos commonly associated with Halloween, witches, or vampires.
Big raw crystals. We see crystal balls now and then, but that's it.
Other natural items used as decorations - feathers, pinecones, sticks, etc. The one exception I can think of are the shells embedded in the walls of Shell Cottage.
Crushed velvet. Lots of fantasy uses this, HP films don't.
If you need inspiration, go look up medieval and renaissance diagrams and illustrations of stuff like the four elements, the zodiac, the solar system, and all that. Go look up alchemical symbols and emblems. Search up pre-WWII vintage ephemera. Go look up Victorian clipart. Look up stuff like botanical, zoological, and astronomical books and art from the 17th-19th centuries. Look up vintage wallpaper and fabric patterns. Look at vintage-style crafts. Research period architecture and fashion. Research European heraldry.
If you're wondering what exactly you're going to design around without Hogwarts and the Four Houses, here are some suggestions:
The four classical elements (earth, air, fire, and water)
The four seasons
Card suits - Tarot, French, whatever you want
Holidays - Halloween, Christmas, whatever
Fairy tales
Flowers
Mythical creatures
Bugs
Birds
Any other animals you like
Ecosystems
Your own original worldbuilding
So yeah, there ya go. You don't need to keep participating in HP to indulge in the aesthetic.
[NOTICE: Anybody who clowns on this post by making this about them and their childhood, patting themselves on the back about their chosen means of "ethical" participation, praising the fandom, or adding any other form of irrelevant bullshit is getting blocked. Also, I don't want to hear about PJO or Earthsea again for the millionth time, either.]
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Okay but consider: ASTRONOMY LESBIANS
This specific post is going to be me gushing over the astronomy potential Touka and Nemu have with each other and why it makes me feral, it's more me pointing out some things than any actual analysis. Still, here you go, have fun!
So, this is the thesis: Touka is the sun/day and Nemu is the moon/night.
First of all, night and day are intrinsically connected. The sun's light gives the moon its glow during the night and the moon remains present and visible during the day, if a little harder to see in the full light of the sun. The former sounds an awful lot like how Touka gave Nemu visibility to the general public through the website for her books and continues to do so on the regular, dutifully, and the latter is to me the same effect as any scene they're in together; everyone in-universe and outside of it always pays more attention to Touka, because she's the more boisterous one, louder, etc. The radiant sun, too bright to ignore compared to the soft glow of the moon.
Now, I love the moon's effect on the oceans on Earth. Its control over the tides is due to its gravity being strong enough that the tide is pulled slightly closer to it. If you look at when the tides are highest, you'll see that tides are always highest when the moon is directly overhead, but there's also another high tide on the opposite side of the planet. If you mapped it out, you'd get this oval shape of the tides, where a "tip" of the oval is always pointing at the moon. Well guess what, the SUN also does this! It's just less noticeable, but it's why low tide doesn't always happen when you think it would. And since they both do this, their effects can be combined! This is why the highest of tides always occur around full and new moons, with the effects being even stronger during lunar eclipses, and with solar eclipses being the strongest of them all, which probably added to the effect of ancient civilizations freaking out during them cause the tide was so high, it just added to the chaos of the sun being blocked out too. Tides are highest about the full and new moons because that is when the moon and the sun are lined up. Gee doesn't that sound familiar and like it could apply to a certain pair of idiots who work really well together (as per Ui's words).
Here's a helpful visual gif for the tide thing and some quotes from the National Ocean Service:
Together, the gravitational pull of the moon and the sun affect the Earth’s tides on a monthly basis. When the sun, moon, and Earth are in alignment (at the time of the new or full moon), the solar tide has an additive effect on the lunar tide, creating extra-high high tides, and very low, low tides — both commonly called spring tides. One week later, when the sun and moon are at right angles to each other, the solar tide partially cancels out the lunar tide and produces moderate tides known as neap tides.
And as a fun extra:
Once a month, at perigee, when the moon is closest to the Earth, tide-generating forces are higher than usual, producing above average ranges in the tides. About two weeks later, at apogee, when the moon is farthest from the Earth, the lunar tide-raising force is smaller, and the tidal ranges are less than average. When the Earth is closest to the sun (perihelion), around January 2 of the calendar year, tidal ranges are enhanced. At aphelion, when the Earth is furthest from the sun, around July 2, tidal ranges are reduced
So like. I don't think I need to point out the moon's distance from the sun and its effects here. Now let me go to something else: Touka and Nemu have a dual unit, the attribute of which is darkness. Here's a tidbit about it that I yoinked from another post:
Your pupils contract in response to visible light, but not all of the sun’s light is visible. During an eclipse, your pupils widen because it’s dark, but there’s an outer layer around the sun that mostly only puts out light that’s not visible to us, but that can still damage your retinas. Thus, looking at an eclipse makes your pupils open up like it’s dark, which lets more of the invisible damage beams in. The sun doesn’t get a critical multiplier on its damage when HP is low. Equipping the moon gives the sun a bonus to backstab.
And then I pointed out the dual unit and its attribute, like an eclipse. Such an apt metaphor. Now, this isn't all, though the astronomy rant is far less connected and organized than the other more essay-ish posts, but I just wanted to cover at least some of the bond things before I yell about why each of them fits their assigned astral body/time so well. Actually... Let's consider the solar wind for a second.
So, for those with less astronomy knowledge, here are the basics. The sun releases a continuous outflow of particles and radiation that we call the solar wind. The solar wind washes over the planets, moons and other bodies in our solar system, and every object, planet or person traveling through space has to contend with this. Our moon in particular has the scars (or bad tan) to prove it. Ever wondered what gives the moon that distinctive pattern of darker and lighter swirls? That would be the sun over there. Or, well, research suggests that the solar wind and the moon’s crustal magnetic fields (bubbles of "sunscreen") work together to give that pattern. See, here on Earth, we’re largely protected from the damaging effects of the solar wind, because it's magnetized, therefore Earth’s natural magnetic field deflects the solar wind particles around our planet so that only a small fraction of them reach our planet’s atmosphere. The moon however has no global magnetic field. It's magnetized rocks near the lunar surface that create those small, localized spots of magnetic field that I referred to as "bubbles of sunscreen" up there, because they kinda are acting like sunscreen by deflecting solar wind particles on a much smaller scale than Earth’s magnetic field. The surface of the moon isn't really made of "just rock" (it's called regolith, actually), and so as those particles flow toward the moon, they are deflected to the areas just around the magnetic bubbles, where chemical reactions with the regolith darken the surface. And there is Something To Be Said about this, something intimate about it... Something something accepting every part of someone else, something something being permanently marked and irreversibly changed by another (I've called them twin flames before)...
Here are some points to consider, particularly for Nemu:
They spend more time under the light of day (Touka, early riser, "rise with the sun" is very likely literal for her since she gets up long enough before school time to have more than enough time to do Things as per her quotes) vs awake at night (Nemu habitually staying up late to read and write, we have many lines about it particularly from the quotes, and a visual from the anime).
Nemu has been depicted dramatically in front of the moon twice, once in her intro in Arc 1 Chapter 7 and once in the anime, I believe final season's first episode? The flashback, right after they put Ui in Mokyu and have the whole exchange about it on the roof of the hospital.
In relation to the phases of the moon: as the moon goes around the Earth, different parts of it are illuminated by the sun, and we see a different amount of light reflected back at us, and I have decided that relates to how Nemu adapts seamlessly to whatever Touka's mood is because she just knows her that well (gestures vaguely at that sunset scene in Touka's MGS or any of the other times when Nemu knows it's not the right time to take a jab at Touka and so on and so forth), but honestly there's a huge number of gay interpretations of it. AND it's accurate to the way Nemu acts as a Magius, kind of, when it comes to the Feathers at least. People normally remember her as the Magius who was kindest to the Feathers (full moon, brightest guiding light), but she was also the one doing the brainwashing, giving the massacre orders, and delighting over her suggestion of using the Feathers as a shield (new moon, known as the dark side).
Feelings of being neglected/ignored/not noticed by passersby or people around her could be related to how the new moon is, literally Not Visible™️ to the naked eye except when it is silhouetted against the sun during a solar eclipse (COUGH). Plus, you could argue the fact that people love Nemu most when she's giving them something (light, full moon).
In terms of giving, let's hop over to Touka for a second:
The sun is constantly giving off energy. Light, heat, life. It's quite impossible to forget the sun is there, unlike the moon (or well it's more like you always sort of actively notice the sun, but not the moon due to its subtler presence). Aligns pretty well with Touka's.......... everything. Including the compulsion to take center stage. There is nothing else in the sky besides the sun during the day, it is alone in the heavens save for the subtle presence of the moon, which nobody else notices.
Then there's this post which I will quote here:
Big fan of sun motifs in characters not necessarily being about positivity and happiness and how they're so "bright and warm" but instead being about fucking brutal they are. Radiant. A FORCE of nature that will turn you to ash. That warmth that burns so hot it feels like ice. Piercing yellow and red and white. A character being a Sun because you cannot challenge a Sun without burning alive or taking everything down with them if victorious.
ALIGNS PRETTY WELL WITH TOUKA DOESN'T IT. Almost a little bit too literal in some senses! Being bright and warm does apply to her as well, mind you, she's bright in the intelligent sense and to some extent the temperament sense (though she is a lot less bright than she pretends to be with the very eerie cheerful mask she likes to wear), and she's warm and nurturing towards the people she cares about. Speaking of warm and nurturing, the sunlight makes plants grow, Nemu is a forest attribute in-game and has forest magic, nurtured by the fire of the sun (Touka, a flame attribute magical girl with the corresponding fire magic).
I've compared these two to binary stars in a fic before, but I really love their sun/day and moon/night possibilities! You can even interpret a few things like this:
Under a scorching sun, you are blinded, and in deserts caused by its rays you are likely to experience hallucinations, mirages. I can relate this to Touka's mask-wearing habits, for example. The sun is unyielding and you will never escape its effects completely no matter how hard you try. It's what allows life to exist and simultaneously also a force of destruction, much like fire itself. I could go on a related rant about how TouNemu's attributes really really fit them- I will stop myself before I do however.
Back to Nemu's side of things again. The night is often considered the most dangerous time of day pretty much everywhere around the world, but that's not quite right. It's because the night is obscured in darkness, quiet, secretive. You cannot know the night. It's fully possible that something will jump out at you at any point (assuming you're out and about), and you can never be 100% sure that nothing will. You have a higher chance of slipping, and good god if you've ever been outside in bumfuck nowhere with no lights around in the mountains or something on a new moon, you know very well how difficult navigation becomes without the moon's guidance
But, the night, especially in the East, is often considered shelter as well (from what I've gathered). The quietness aspect is retained over there, but it's seen in a more positive light, and the different attributes of the nighttime are more appreciated and respected compared to the West, in my experience digging into stuff at least. The night can easily be what soothes people after enduring the flames of the day. Whether literally because of the heat or just because for most people, daytime is work time, it's Getting Things Done time. Nighttime has always been more… for the self, to relax and to think. More intimate. Humans don't really work according to nature these days, but pieces of it are still present in how the night remains much quieter than the day, in how a teenager might feel safer, more raw and more connected with their true self in the dead of night on their phone under the covers than at any other time of the day, etc. It's a time of rest for a majority of living beings. Slower and less hectic than the daytime.
"What about those who are up at ungodly hours of the night still having hours-long conversations?" That's meaningful. It's necessary for the human mind, for our hearts. That's rest. It constitutes a "shelter" for the people in question. Those convos I'd bet are not about work or about stressors in their lives, but rather about things they find genuinely interesting and/or things they love. Or, alternatively, venting, yes, but even that counts as "unwinding" and reaching something closer to peace.
There's also something to be said about how Touka relies on Nemu so often (she says as much in her regular Tap 8 quote), and looks to her for guidance like the sailors of old looked up at the night sky for directions. Nemu is drawn to Touka like the moon is affected by the sun's gravity, and Touka loves her and studies her (she REALLY pays attention to Nemu, as I've pointed out before) like humans have always studied and observed the night sky.
AND also Touka = lantern, light. Nemu = sleep. Just saying.
COUGH. Yes. So. This has been my series of thoughts on TouNemu astronomy lesbianism. I'm pretty sure you can see how each point relates to the characters pretty clearly.
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I wanted to start giving some insight into how I draw certain things (and also I just really like talking about why I do certain things the way I do), so after finishing this illustration of Reimu earlier today, I thought it'd be a good time to show a bit of my process when it comes to this yellowed-paper style. Keep in mind that this is Clip Studio Paint centric, because that is what I use to draw, but if you use another program a lot of this advice should still be applicable.
The defining aspect of this compared to my other illustrations is usually a much lighter/washed-out color palette, utilization of textured brushes (surprisingly, a lot of what I use is default Clip Studio Paint tools!), and using a noise/paper texture on an overlay layer at some opacity depending on how dense it is.
(Image is of a color swatch being affected by 2 different clipped layers. On the left, is an overlayed paper texture at 100% opacity. On the right, is an overlayed solid black layer at 50% opacity.)
Firstly, you don't have to use yellow/orange specifically for this, but it lends to a certain appearance I like a lot, so I find myself using this range of colors the most. You do want to make sure that it will look good with an overlay layer set over it.
How one goes about lining the character (you don't even really have to) doesn't matter that much ultimately, and a lot of times I'll set the line art layer to a lower opacity or make it multiply/linear burn.
I use a lot of overlay layers. It helps contribute to the appearance of the overall piece if everything sort of bleeds together. However, when coloring, I'll also alternate between linear burn, linear light, and glow dodge layers. Sometimes color burn as well, but it's quite a bit more finicky to use. Glow dodge specifically is good for making highlights that stand out. For some colors, using a normal layer at reduced opacity also works. The important thing when coloring a piece like this is to make sure the colors mesh well with the paper color you chose!
(Image is of a selection of swatches for the color blue on an orange-yellow background. The top left swatch has been applied on a layer that uses Linear Burn, top right is Normal, lower left is Linear Light, and lower right is Overlay.)
Lastly, here are some assorted techniques for decorating your piece.
(Image is of a selection of effects added to 1 layer. The top left is captioned "Default Brush", the top right is captioned "Pressed Graphic", the bottom left is captioned "Specialty Brushes", and the bottom right is captioned "Simple Designs.")
Wet blotting ink is a default Clip Studio brush you can find under the India Ink tab, and creates a nice water-stain effect on your piece if you use overlay + a solid black pen color.
You can also make complex designs by either running an image through the artistic effect and setting it to "Lines Only", or by using specialty brushes made for creating specific designs, like this leaf brush I use.
Lastly, you can just create basic designs. It really just depends on what you need for your image!
This is the process I generally go through whenever I draw these pictures. I hope it helps you!
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Magical Shorthand in the Legend of Vox Machina
So I've been drafting a lot of posts about the just-announced Mighty Nein animated series (thoughts, hopes, predictions etc), one of which is about magic and how it will be represented. This led me into a tangent about TLOVM that's long enough that I think it works better as it's own post so here it is!
What magic looks like in TLOVM
One of the things I LOVE about the spellcasting in TLOVM is how each character's spells are visually distinct, usually through colour coding.
In addition to looking great, this visual shorthand makes it easy to identify who's casting what in magic-heavy fight scenes, with the added bonus of representing something of that character's personality.
Scanlan
Scanlan is the most obvious example because it's the most visually distinctive and cohesive.
The visual manifestation of Scanlan's magic is ALWAYS purple - a specific pinkish shade of it.
It's always shiny or sparkly and usually takes the form of a giant semi-translucent body part (usually a hand)
When it manifests in a different form (i.e not a distinct shape) it's usually lightning shaped ribbons or sparks but sometimes an intense purple glow or sparkly purple cloud.
Like Scanlan himself, his magic is colourful, flashy and dramatic and he uses it in creative and unusual ways.
Pike
Pike's magic manifests in a few different ways but it always appears as yellow, and ranges from a soft glow to a bright light.
One of her most commonly used abilities is to create a magical shield which glows softly and sparks upon impact. It's semi-translucent like Scanlan's hand but doesn't move or change shape (though it can change size!)
Certain abilities cause her eyes or hands to glow yellow and of course her astral self glows yellow all over.
Her magic is pretty straightforward. If the spell affects or relates to another object it causes it to glow and offensive spells resemble targeted beams of light that shoot out directly from her hands.
Keyleth
Keyleth's magic is by far the most diverse in the series and her magic reflects that.
Her signature spells/abilities are wildshape and whatever she uses to create and control vines. In both cases, these abilities happen without any kind of magical glow around them and therefore aren't colour-coded in the same way as other spells.
Spells that do involve light and colour usually reflect the element or school of magic associated with them and I think it was the right choice because it makes it easier to identify what she's doing. If the spell daylight, for example, was any other colour it wouldn't be so obvious what it's doing.
All that said, a handful of Keyleth's spells ARE colour-coded, meaning that her hands, eyes, staff or a combination of the three glow green when they're cast. Her hands always glow green when she uses touch-based spells but it also happens at other random points with no particular pattern I can identify (for example her hands sometimes glow when she controls vines but at other times they don't)
And of course it's not just the main characters! Delilah's magic resembles jagged black shapes with an eerie purple outline. Zahra's magic is red and ripples outwards.
So what could magic look like in the Mighty Nein animated series?
Well, given her canonically pink spiritual weapon and spiritual guardians, I think it's safe to say Jester's magic will have a pink theme - though probably a warmer hot pink than Scanlan's pink-purple.
The one exception to this I think would be her cold-themed version of hellish rebuke which will likely be in white or blue to represent the element it's associated with.
Caduceus is also somewhat pink-themed but I imagine his magic might have a turquoise-green colour theme to match his armour.
Molly/Lucien's magic will be red themed for sure in classic blood-magic form.
I'm really not sure about Fjord but his spells might potentially have a blue theme given his affinity to the sea. They might also be a generic white or vary depending on the spell.
For Caleb I definitely think they'll take the same approach as Keyleth wherein his spells appearances are more determined by what they do than who's casting them. However I think if his magic is colour-coded (maybe just for touch-spells like Keyleth) it will be an amber colour somewhere between yellow and orange.
Dunamancy is usually depicted as black and purple so I'm curious to see how they'll distinguish it from Delilah's necromantic magic. I can imagine them maybe doing something black with lots of tiny stars, like a glimpse into space, which would look very cool and also feel appropriate.
What do y'all think?
I would truly love to hear other people's thoughts on this!!
#tm9 animated#the mighty nein#tm9#cr2#cr#critical role#my posts#vox machina#tlovm#the legend of vox machina
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I know this is a really stupid question, but why is the Jan stevens kink (I don’t know what it’s called sry) kinda upsetting for some people? Like, toxic or whatever. I totally respect it, it’s just not clicking in my head if that makes sense? I’m just not totally clear on what’s wrong with it. I haven’t thought about it much though, so maybe that’s on me. I just thought maybe you could enlighten me, ‘cause now I’m curious. Thx 💟
hi!! ofc, happy to explain it!
the way i wrote it, it's really not extreme -- and that's the level of that kink (i generally referred to it as alvinolagnia -- a belly/midriff partialism -- will include some info at the end of this post) that i was personally comfortable with writing. there is nothing wrong with that kink per se -- however! if we are talking specifically about feederism there is a lot of..... let's say... disturbing stuff associated with it. in certain spaces (online and irl) a lot of feeders are men who enjoy forcing their female partners to eat absurd amounts of food and gain an absurd amount of weight -- so much so that they need to rely on their partner to do things for them. it also involves those men calling those women pretty nasty slurs, and a popular one is to call your partner a pig. a lot of fatphobia combined with misogyny in that community, but also glorification of obesity (we are talking about people who gain so much weight they can barely walk by themselves anymore). it's..... a lot.
HOWEVER. you could argue that most kinks have their extreme sides. in the bdsm community, for example, you could have a light dom/sub dynamic in the bedroom, or you could be someone's full time slave, have your partner control every aspect of your life, including your finances etc. so basically, another person practically owns you. that's also real icky haha. but then again, we all like to read a nice smutty fic with light dom/sub dynamics, right? and i think there's no harm in that.
what rubs people the wrong way about this kink is that it can get real disturbing and extreme real fast -- and a lot of people who are into it ARE on the extreme side. however, there are definitely people who just enjoy some harmless belly kink stuff, but i feel like they are not as loud as the disturbing part of that crowd haha, so people don't tend to pay attention to them. for them, belly kink + feederism is immediately something very extreme.
i think a lot of the ick people feel for that particular kink is because of deep fatphobia that runs in our society. people would literally rather drink piss than feel bloated for one (1) hour haha. bc when you look at it, how is that ickier than like... feet? or piss? or even breeding, which is a very popular kink online lol (also with that one you could find heaps of Problematique(TM) stuff, such as forced pregnancy stuff etc.). or like plain old choking. how is choking less disturbing that like... being bloated and getting off on it lol. so that's for sure something to think about.
so basically, the overall take would be -- every kink can range from fun, mild, and harmless to very disturbing/borderline abuse -- some kinks can skew into the icky territory much faster than others though, so that is also something to keep in mind.
so, there -- those were yourlocaldisneyvillain's hot takes for today. enjoy kink!week :))) see you tomorrow :*
(that being said -- ppl are allowed to dislike or be grossed out by any kink for any reason. there doesn't have to be anything deeper to it) some info about alvinolagnia/ belly stuffing/feederism that i already included in the jan fic is under the cut!
Alvinolagnia is another term for a belly fetish. Alvinolagnia is a partialism in which an individual is sexually attracted to the midriff or belly. The belly is widely considered as an erogenous region, meaning it holds multiple nerve endings that make it sensitive to various sensations. Therefore, having a belly fetish usually coincides with belly-related sexual acts including but not limited to touching/rubbing the belly region, using sex toys and other objects to stimulate the belly region, rubbing one's belly against a partner's belly, or licking or sucking the navel.
A kink that closely relates to the belly fetish is belly stuffing — which is when people get a psychological thrill and sexual pleasure from the idea of eating a lot — doing it themselves, or witnessing someone else do it.
Belly stuffing can be related to feederism. Feederism is a fat fetish subculture in which individuals eroticise weight gain and feeding. Feeders are individuals who are sexually aroused by feeding their partners and encouraging them to gain weight. Feederism encompasses people being turned on by feeding, belly stuffing, weight gain, fat, and often, dominance and submission.
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Alrighty I created a ninjago oc!!
But sike, it's actually in @weekend-whip 's legacyverse because it's better written than the canon show and I like that universe
Alright so I saw this
And I thought: "hmmm, distant relative, that gives room for headcanons"
So here's my ninjago (legacyverse) oc!
Name: nicole villin (nici)
Age: undefined but in the same age range as harumi and lloyd
Moral: lawful neutral
Ability: partial inheritor of the element of light
Nici is a direct descendant of the 5th gen master of light. However like aurora she only partially inherited the ability. In nici's case, she inherited the control over the element but not the full power. She could make herself disappear at will, however the strongest she could go is being translucent and not fully see through like paleman. That results in her not exactly "disappearing" whenever she wants to but rather it's more coincidental and happens whenever she feels particularly intuned with her element or feels like her life is in danger. Usually she can still be seen in a normal light setting so it's not much of use, however in dimly lit rooms it can happen that you won't notice her unless you look twice or mistake it for a trick of the eyes.
She did not have training to control her powers yet since the previous master is more focused on the other inheritor, paleman.
The fact that nici inherited the control over disappearing (which she could use if she had training) is also the reason why paleman is never seen with his true face but rather his clothes or completely gone. He has the full power that she hasn't (since she just got a weaker portion of that) but since he can not control when to tap out or in, he's constantly see through and the only thing he can do is enhance his power to make him even more see through or weaken it a bit
(imagine it as if kai's hair was constantly on fire because of his element but he can't put it out. He could make his whole body on fire or he could go back to only his hair which is just a bit weaker but it would never stop)
Personality:
She is usually a happy person but that gets really reserved around people she doesn't know well. She doesn't mind talking as long as it's with close ones since she suffers from pretty bad social anxiety and often doubts her friendships, especially when around strangers. Her withdrawal around others makes it easy for her to blend in and be forgotten. She does care deeply about her limited friendships though and her way to show appreciation and care is by making sure her friends stay out of trouble. She's not a shy person so speaking is not something she troubles much with and she's quite happy to talk if she does
She doesn't support the ninjas nor lord garmadon as she thinks they both have their flaws and supporting one or the other without acknowledging the flaws is pretty ignorant. She doesn't mind those who do either though as she thinks opinion is opinion.
She has the bad habit of always distrusting her friendships even if they never said anything bad which is a result of her bond with her mother. So it might come off as a bit hurtful to others when she says something like "I have no friends", which is not something she says because she doesn't consider them friends but rather that she fears they don't consider her one. Just know that she doesn't mean it the way it sounds.
She's an active listener and has the habit of sometimes hearing things she shouldn't because they forget she's also there which could cause her to overhear some certain ninja secrets
Usually light is an element associated with things like hope or positivity which is something that doesn't exactly fit her sometimes due to her anxiety. It's why she has a rather low natural attunement with a mid fluctuation
Jesse belongs to @weekend-whip !!
Story:
Ever since she was born, she noticed her mother frequently disappointed that she didn't inherited the full element as she now had the trouble of needing to search for a person that she could pass it on to. Her mother never expressed that disappointment verbally, however she could see it in her eyes as well as how desperate she was at meeting new people, even really distant family members who they have never met before. It's also how they met paleman as he is a more distant family member. Nici's mother noticed how he had a really high natural attunement and chose that distant relative to be the next master of light. All those parties and meeting all those people with the knowledge of why they are actually here is what caused her social anxiety in the first place.
She and paleman get along quite well though because he understands her situation and had to see her way more often after getting passed on the element. She often calls him uncle viz since he does appear like an uncle to her.
She goes to highschool in ninjago city (bc where else?), spends her time in the cooking club and is in the same year as harumi (though they have never interacted much). She isn't one that believes rumors but she is intimidated by most of the ninjas and isn't sure how to talk to either of them. Though she does get along the best with zane and nya.
She lives close to the border of ninjago city which is why the garmadon or the great devourer attack never affected her as much as the others near the center of the city. She did volunteer work though by helping to cook food to support people who lost their homes.
#ninjago#ninjago original character#ninjago oc#aaaaa I'm so proud of this oc#i hope this somehow doesn't mess up ren's lore for paleman#book 5 is still long into the future#my anxious little bean#she would definitely have a crush on both lloyd and harumi (not that it matters though#it's one sided#okay I should probably stop now#keep spamming ren these past few days and not only with drawings#guest oc: nicole villin#oc:_nicole_villin#ceces_art
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It's time to d-d-dress up!
Halloween is probably my favorite holiday. I really like horror and being scared. You could say I'm a thrill seeker. Anyway, enjoy this filler while I work on other stuff lol
• ───────────────── •
Content: Various Yugioh people x gn!Reader
Warnings: Sexual themes (Yami Marik) but no actual sex so it's still SFW, unsure whether or not Yami Marik's fake blood is actual blood
Notes: Halloween is my favorite holiday. I wish I could do this for every fandom I write for, but that'd be too much for me right now, sadly. I'll probably do one or two more, but that's about it
• ───────────────── •
❥Yugi Muto
You and Yugi would obviously go with a couples costume.
He would be the dark magician, and you would either be dark magician girl or celtic guardian (they get shipped the most with dark magcian)
You two probably wouldn't trick or treat, probably just party with your friends while helping grandpa hand out candy
Would kiss you as much as you were comfortable with, because you just look so pretty/handsome to him
He's also grateful that you decided to match with him this year
Takes a shit ton of selfies to remember this moment and to post on his story/social media
Before Halloween, he probably would have spent all of October decorating the shop with you
Would absolutely want to make certain cut out cookies with you, he thinks the ghost ones are cute
Very wholesome Halloween. 100/10.
• ───────────────── •
❥Atem
You already know mans isn't original with Halloween costume ideas
He'd go as an Egyptian Pharaoh and would like it if you went as his queen/king, though he wont force you
He wont know what Halloween is about until you tell him, he's just a confused old man lol
He would love being in Pharaoh-like clothing again after so long. He'd proably try tanning the entirity of October, then be confused when there isn't much of a difference.
Help him, he's trying his best lol
Would also help you decorate if you asked, but he'd be asking questions non stop about the meaning of lights and window stickers. He doesn't take "tradition" or "it's fun" as an answer lol
A little annoying, but still wholesome. 8/10.
• ───────────────── •
❥Seto Kaiba
Seto isn't crazy about Halloween. It's six days after his birthday, that's the only way he remembers the holiday exists every year.
Because he's not crazy about the holiday, he hasn't dressed up for it since his parents were alive
Mokuba still dresses up, and he tries his hardest to get Seto to as well, but it just never happens. You're not an exception, unfortunately
Unless you get a blue eyes white dragon onesie.
He'll go as himself then, and you're his trusty dragon
Otherwise, he won't care about dressing up and will let you go as whatever, so long as its outside of the scandalous range. He's very much in the public eye, remember? He's also a raging virgin, so leave the risque costumes for private time
He'll probably especially enjoy it if you tell him it doubles as a birthday present
Either very funny or very boring. 5/10.
• ───────────────── •
❥Joey Wheeler
He'd probably be the cheesiest motherfucker out of them all
Would definitely have you two go as matching vampires or werewolves
He has such a generic look on horror and monsters in general
Dude you literally play duel monsters, there's more than just vampires and werewolves-
Would buy cheap fake blood that ends up staining your skin for a week after.
It would also strangely taste like apples?
You should probably go to a hospital after the party
Halloween with Joey is accidentally lethal. My kind of party. 10/10.
• ───────────────── •
❥Marik Ishtar
Dude I have no fucking idea what he'd be, and therefore neither would he lol
He has 0 creativity when it comes to this, so usually he'll turn to you for costume ideas
Would also be like Joey with the cheesy, overdone costumes
I can really only see him being werewolf and you being little red riding hood
He'd probably get a kick out of that, in multiple ways...
Marik doesn't understand Halloween decorations, but if it makes you happy, he guesses he'll help you put stuff up
Absolutely sneaks candy for himself though
Pretty average Halloween. 5/10.
• ───────────────── •
❥Yami Marik
Absolutely a vampire. No. Shh. Shut up. I am taking ZERO criticism on this one.
He takes it all the way. He's basically a blond, Egyptian dracula lol
He'll probably have you not dress up so he can be the vampire that corrupts you
He takes it a little too far, biting your neck with his fake fangs in
He also sprays fake blood on himself and everywhere else, but you're not entirely sure it's fake blood...
Like Marik, he also sneaks candy for himself, but very openly. He knows you can't do anything to him anyways
Yami Marik will help you put up decorations once he learns just how spooky Halloween is supposed to be
If you were hoping for a cuter Halloween, where children weren't afraid of approaching your house, then kick Yami Marik out until Halloween is over lol
Terrifying Halloween, but a great 'afterparty.' 7/10.
• ───────────────── •
Here is my Masterlist in case you want to request, or look for more of your favorite character!
#yugioh#ygo#yugi mutou x reader#yugi muto x reader#yugi muto x y/n#yugi muto x you#yami yugi x reader#atem x reader#joey wheeler x reader#joey wheeler x y/n#joey wheeler x you#jonouchi x reader#seto kaiba x reader#seto kaiba x y/n#seto kaiba x you#marik ishtar x reader#marik ishtar x y/n#marik ishtar x you#yami marik x reader#yami marik x y/n#yami marik x you#wow this is a lot of tags
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How do you take macro photos?
If you're interested in macrophotography you're in luck, because it's one of the most accessible fields of specialist photography. While you can get pretty deep, e.g. product photography for large companies, basic but quality macro gear will probably set you back somewhere between USD 300-600.
The most basic things you need for a macro rig are a camera with interchangeable lenses and a flash, a wide-ish angle lens, and a lens reverser. You also need something to diffuse your flash. That's what I started with, here's what it looks like and what kind of photos you can get with it:
Camera Body
I have my old Canon 600D, a mid-range APS-C DSLR from 2011, any camera body with swappable lenses will work. APS-C and MFT cameras have the benefit of lower cost and cropping your image significantly, so they're good choices. Mirrorlesses will work but I've never used one, there may be pitfalls I'm not aware of, I think you might need an extension tube, do some reading.
A flash or way to add a flash is necessary because down a reversed, small-aperture lens, in anything other than broad daylight there won't be much light getting through the sensor.
Lens Reverser Ring
A lens reverser screws into the filter thread of your lens and allows you to mount it backwards, so you need to know what lens you're using (filter thread) and what body you're using (mount). Canon EF and Nikon F-mount are pretty easy to find, if you're working with something less common you'll probably have to buy online, e.g. for a 52mm thread Sony mirrorless you'd want a "52mm E-mount reverser ring"
Since you're reversing the lens you lose all aperture and focus coupling, we'll address that a little bit in the next section.
Lens
I use the 18-55mm kit lens that comes with this body. The lens you use doesn't necessarily have to be compatible with your camera since we aren't using its mount anyway, but you do want to make sure you have some way to set the aperture, either by a manual control ring or by setting it on-camera and then taking the lens off while the aperture is closed, which is what I do.
35 and 50mm vintage primes are popular because they have decent quality glass and manual control rings so you don't have to fight with it. You want a pretty short focal length, since a reversed lens works backwards (shot focal length: tight angle, long focal length: wide angle) so probably don't go much past 60mm.
Focus isn't really something you use since it's very hard to get the level of fine control you'd need, most people lock focus to get a certain frame and then very carefully move the camera to move the focus plane.
Flash Setup
I've run a bunch of different flash setups, originally just the stock pop-up flash and a piece of paper stuck to the camera body which actually works great. These days I run a Godox TT6600 with a bounce card either on the body or off the body with a remote trigger, which is actually worse than the paper trick but it's easier to work with and more reliable, so it makes me more likely to shoot.
Your ideal flash diffuser is a big hood you basically envelop your subject in, you can make or buy those.
Altogether this looks like this:
And takes photos like this:
The hardest part is just nailing focus, you're usually at somewhere around f2 or less equivalent and your working distance is centimeters, making your depth of field razor thin. If you're using a DSLR your viewfinder will be super dim and you'll have to practice to get focus down, but it's not too bad. If you have a mirrorless or a nicer DSLR you can turn off simulated exposure to get a bright viewfinder and even use focus peaking.
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[Gorgon] Some Secrets Should be Said
Gorgon Male x Unaware/Oblivious Male Reader
Eros
Warnings: Tiniest ammout of homophobia/racisim, smoochin in a supply closet, YOU MAY BE IN HIGHSCHOOL BUT YOU ARE 18
Masterlist
---------------------------------------------
It was an early Monday morning. The usual early birds were arriving at school, you being one of them. Rumor was going around of a new student getting enrolled. There were only three high schools in this small town; One for monsters, one for humans, and one for both. You were enrolled in the one that shared with monsters. The overall relations in the school were good, other than the typical high school antics.
You had just been dropped off by your sibling and we're walking into the building. A few people smiled your way and you smiled back, heading to your first hour. The teacher was a Satyr and she was a bubbly as ever, happy to see you in the morning. "Good morning (Y/n), we have a new student coming today." Your ears perked up and you looked over to her.
"Ah, we do? So the rumor was true after all?" She laughed and said, "Yes! He's gonna make a bit of history here." You became confused at her statement as you walked over to your seat. "What do you mean by that?" You asked setting your bag on the table. "I might get in a bit of trouble for telling but..." She walked over, her hooves clacking on the floor as she did. She leaned in on the table, "He will be the first Gorgon to be enrolled into the school!"
She seemed overly excited about the new student but you smiled at her enthusiasm. "You seem awfully happy about that. Is he in our class?" You asked, sitting down in your chair. Her smiled seemed to get wider as she nodded. You paused for a moment and leaned back. "Does that mean he's gonna sit by me?" She nods again. "Yep! You are the only one without a table partner. I'm sure you'll be fine. He's a nice kid." She ruffeled your hair and you swatted her hands away. "Auntie, you know I'm taken right?" She isn't your biological aunt but she's very close with your mom so you call her it for fun.
She laughed and walked away saying, "He's a cute one." You sighed and rolled your eyes as you pulled out your phone. You opened Snapchat and sent a message to your boyfriend.
You took a cute selfie, looking down at the phone while your forehead rested on the table.
Aunties super excited about our new student.
Ngl, I kinda am too. She said he was a Gorgon and I think she's onto my facination with cute snakes xx
You sent the snap and put your phone face down on the table before resting your face on your bag. A minute or so passed before you got a message back.
It was a black screen but he usually sent one. Admittedly, you have never seen him but you respected that since you fell in love with his personality, which was charming as ever.
Don't go cheating on me now ;)
I might just have to show you I'm cuter xx
You smiled and took another selfie.
So that means I get to see you then??? Game on babe xx
You smiled as you sent it. Yeah, it was cheesy flirting but it made you happy none the less. A few seconds later he messaged back with another black screen.
Hmm, I just might lol
You sent that you love him too and put your phone in your pocket. Smiling slightly as you looked up to see that some other students were starting to show up. Soon enough, the first bell for class to start rings and students filter in, taking their seats. Five minutes later, you still haven't seen a certain Gorgon as the final bell rings, saying anyone who wasn't there was late.
Gotta get to class, message you when I can
Love you xx
Mrs. Hucksburry stood at the front of the class, writing some last minute things on the board. "Alright class," Most of the students quiet down at her words. "As you may have heard, we have a new student today! I want you to treat him with respect as he is one of us," She said referring to her fellow monsters. "He is the first of his kind to be enrolled into our schools system." Right as she finished speaking, the door opened to show a rather handsome face and a the obvious 'hair' that came in the shape of several small, darkly colored snakes that seemed to form some sort of style.
He wore rather nice and stylish clothes, very 90's -esk. Mrs. Hucksburry smiled more and looked over to him. "Good morning Mr. Lamollot, glad to see you made your way here." He smiles a cute and almost shy smile, making a pair of girls in class giggle. You watched and tuned out what they were saying before seeing he was looking at you.
You waved to him as he walked over to your table. "I'm guessing you're (Y/n)?" You smiled and nodded, "That'd be me." You put your bag on the floor next to the table and he quietly sat down next to you. "I'm Eros by the way." He was quiet when he spoke as class had officially started. You pulled out a notebook with a pen/pencil and made a message page.
You have the same name as my boyfriend!
You tore the paper out and slid it over to him while he was getting his own notebook and pen. Notes were handwritten on the board since the projector broke and hadn't been replaced yet but no one seemed to mind. The paper was slid back over to you.
Really? What are the chances of that?
His hand writing was nice for a boy and you looked out of the corner of your eye to see him smiling. You smiled too and wrote back.
Who knows but I think it's cool
You slid the paper back and he took a minute to slide it back but you patiently waited since you would have done the same. He didn't write anything on it.
You seem pretty chill Eros, wanna hang out at lunch? Also can I see your schedule? • 3 •
The paper was passed back for the fifth time during class and all it said was his schedule along with a "Sure!" underneath. You told him that the two of you share the same schedule. WhAt A cOiNcIdEnCe.
You looked over to him to see him looking at the paper. He looked up to you and you smiled. Eros smiled back and took the paper to ask.
Do you have early release too?
You read it as he wrote and he looked up to you. You nodded and he wrote again.
Wanna go chill at the park?
You shrugged and nodded again when he looked up to you. He smiled and nodded as the two of you went back to working on class work. You hadn't noticed it before but, his snakes seemed to be interested in you, which you thought was cute.
--- Skip to Break ---
An hour and a half had passed and the two of you had talked a bit throughout the time. The bell for break just rang and you got up with Eros. The two of you walked out to the hallway. "Let me make a stop by my locker real quick then we can go to next hour and chill there for break." He nodded and leaned against the locker next to you when two girls walked up to him. They were the same pair from first hour.
"Hey Eros, wanna hang with us at lunch?" The "leader" asked, standing in front of him. "Yeah that'd be like, totally cool if you did." Her buddy said, standing next to him. "Oh, sorry, me and (Y/n) al-" She cut him off with a scoff. "Oh you mean halfie? That kids got an imaginary boyfriend. How about you just ditch him and come eat with us." Eros looked over to you to see you had tensed and slowed your movements.
The girls focus turned on you, making you bite your lip. "Do you think you could not ruin this guy? He's like, super hot and doesn't need to be tainted by you." You looked away and felt a vibration come from your phone. You took the chance and opened it to see a message from your boyfriend. She smirked, "Did your 'boyfriend' text you? What'd he say?" She asked in a taunting tone.
You ignored her and opened the message. It was a new picture of the "super hot" guy standing next to you looking down to his phone.
Wanna dip babe?
These bitches are annoying the fuck outta me lol
The three of you looked up to him surprised as you closed your locker. He awkwardly smiled and said, "Guess I had to ruin that surprise cause some bimbos wanna fuck a gay guy." He laughed and walked over to you, grabbing your hand. You were speechless.
How did I not connect the dots earlier? Am I really that dense?
"It's a shame too. I was considering being friends, until you insulted my boyfriend, that is." He locked your fingers and looked back at the two. "Go suck a dildo, whore." Eros flipped them off and walked off with you around the corner, looking for a private spot. "Anywhere there won't be eavesdroppers?" He asked quietly. You nodded and lead him to a back room.
You opened the door with the key you had and let you go in first. The room was pretty nice considering it was useless. You turned on the light at set your bag down, Eros doing the same. "Are you really my boyfriend?" You asked stepping closer to him. He blushed and nodded, "I... I think so... I kind of ruined the supr-mm!" His eyes widened as you connected your lips to his. You pulled away and were about to speak when he connected them again, pressing his body into yours slightly.
He pulled away and you smiled, a blush was covering your face. "I've wanted to do that for so long." You said looking up to him slightly. "Me too." He said, hugging you close. "Why did you lie to me about being human?" You asked, resting your face on his chest. "I was... Scared of how you'd react if I told you the truth." You pulled away and looked up to him. "Are you kidding? Look what I was missing out on!" You said, making gestures to him.
Eros smiled and laughed. "I have a question for you though," You tilted your head slightly. "Why did they call you halfie?" You looked away and brushed back the hair around your ears. The tips of them were pointed much like an elf's but not as long. "My dads an elf. They like to use it as an insult since they're full and I'm not..."
Eros smiled again and nuzzled his nose to the crook of your neck. His snakes were gently booping their noses against your cheek as if giving you small kisses. You giggled at the sensation and he hummed to ask what was so funny. "Your snakes are cute." You said gently intertwining your fingers with them. He gently kissed your neck and rubbed your sides. "Well, they love you just as much as I love you." He said closing his eyes and hugging you.
You smiled and removed your hand to cup his cheek and make him look at you. His golden eyes were half lidded as he did. "Well," You said almost mocking him in away. "I love you and your snakes too." His eyes closed as he leaned in and yours did the same, both of your lips connecting again.
Eros pressed himself into you as both of you kissed. You pulled away first for air and he kissed your cheek and jaw lightly. You checked your phone when he pulled away he asked. "I'm curious how you got a key to a janitors closet." You leaned up to him and kissed his cheek. "My biological uncles the principal and he gave me the room to chill if I need to. It's usually where I would hang out for lunch but I dont really need to anymore since early release and all."
He "ooh'd" and nodded. "Makes sense. Wish I had a place like this at my old school." He looked back at you and his eyes went to your hair while you were checking something on your phone. Eros almost hesitantly brushed his fingers through your (h/c) hair. You jumped slightly at the sudden touch but enjoyed it none the less. "We have 4 minutes by the way." You said closing your eyes and leaning into his hand.
"Your hair is really nice. It's so soft." He smiled when you did and he gently kissed your nose while removing his hand from your hair. You tried your best to make it look like how it did before. "Sorry." He said gently with a small laugh. "Don't be, let's head to next hour so we can get this day done with and hang out." He nodded at your words and you grabbed his hand as the two of you grabbed your bags and quietly made it to the class you're meant to be in.
--- Skip to End of Day ---
The last two hours of school they had went by pretty quickly. The bell for lunch and early release seniors rang, making most people rush to leave or go to lunch. You and Eros lagged behind, waiting for the halls to clear a bit. He gently grabbed your hand as you finished putting your bag on. "Do you wanna go to the park or my house? I have a car so it doesn't matter too much on which you pick." He said with a small laugh.
You blushed and shrugged, "I would probably like your house since it's kinda cold out right now..." The two of you walked out of the class, hand in hand. The pair of girls from earlier watched with hatred/jealousy as the two of them walked out together. They were all going the same way so they got to see Eros walk you to his 1969 Blue Camaro.
Eros unlocked the car and opened the passenger door for you to get in to which you gladly accepted. You set your bag down by your feet and buckled as he set his bag in the back and got in. "I hope my dad isn't home." He said closing his door and starting the car. "Why do you say that?" You asked as he buckled his seat belt.
He sighed and leaned back on his seat. "He doesn't actually know we're... Y'know, dating. Or if he does he has no clue you're a guy..." You nodded and looked to him while he backed out from the parking lot. "We can still go to the park. I'll survive I'm sure." You said softly. "Plus I kinda wanna wear your jacket..." You mumbled the last part while looking away but he heard and smiled, acting as if he didn't hear.
"There's one close to my house we can go to. It's pretty cool if you wanna go there." Eros said while stopping at a light. "That sounds good." He smiled again and looked over to you before looking back at the light. Seeing it change to green, he stepped on the gas again and headed to the destination.
---
The ride was comfortably quiet other than the occasional comment about something in the passing scenery. "Ok, we're here." Eros said, parking his car in the relatively empty parking lot. "I've never seen this place before. It's really pretty." You said as the two of you stepped out.
"Yeah. It's pretty quiet here. I usually hang out here after school. I have never been home "on time" since I got a car 3-ish years ago." You smiled and held his hand as he locked the car and put the keys away. "I'll take you to my favorite spot. There's all kinds of secret areas thanks to the trees." He said with a slight child like glee. You giggled like the school boy that you are as he dragged you along through a beautiful walkway that was shaded by the trees. "Gods it's so pretty here." You said under your breath.
You walked for what felt like forever before he shifted to stand behind you, wrapping an arm around your waist. He removed his hand to show one of the few non blank pictures he sent. "Oh wow." The winter sun was shining over the neighboring town, giving a good idea of just how small it was. "We have a cliff?" You asked suddenly, making Eros laugh and hug you close to his body.
Eros smiled as he took a turn off the path and up a small hill. He stopped and gently let go of your hand, covering your eyes. You reached up to remove his hand but he stopped you. "W-what are you doing Eros?" He giggled and started walking, making you grab onto him afraid of running into something. "Eros?!"
"Don't worry babe. I promise it's nothing bad. I know you'll like it."
"Kinda crazy right?" He said before resting his chin on your shoulder. You nodded as his snakes gently booped you're temple and cheek again, making you smile. You reached up and gently placed a hand on Eros' cheek, rubbing your thumb against his jawline. "Wanna sit down? I have two and a half hours before I have to be home." You nodded again and he pulled away, leading you over to a fairly large tree.
He took off his jacket and tossed it up onto a branch before jumping into the tree himself. You were surprised before he reached down to help you up. "C'mon, it'll give us some privacy just incase anyone comes over here." You somewhat hesitantly took his hand and he helped pull you up onto the thick tree branch. He leaned back against the trees core, letting his legs hang down and inviting you to do the same against him.
The two of you sat in comfortable silence again while he hugged you close, resting his head against your shoulder. "I love you. A lot." He mumbled softly into your ear. You smiled and held onto the top of his hand that was holding onto your stomach. "I love you a lot too." You mumbled back. "Oh and, do you wanna wear my jacket now? I noticed you were shivering ever since we started walking."
You blushed and looked down to the tree branch and ground below it. "I didn't think you heard me say that..." He giggled and leaned forward a bit, grabbing the jacket off the branch it was hooked on to. You moved forward and he helped you put the slightly bigger jacket on. You snuggled into the lingering warmth, taking in his soft cologne.
"Your jacket smells good babe." Eros chuckles and pulls you against his chest again. "Well, it's got my favorite cologne on it so if course it smells good." You smile and let your head fall back against his shoulder and he kissed your temple.
"So. Do you wanna explain yourself a bit?"
-----
3261
Minimal spell/grammar checking, also set up for a part 2?
#mxm#monster x male reader#male monster x reader#x male reader#monster male x male reader#monster male#oneshot
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Tracer headcanons:
- I mentioned in a previous post that she probably saw a lot of shit while she was lost in time that she can't talk about in case it fucks up the timeline.
- Because of that whenever she mentions an event she's always really vague about it unless she's absolutely certain it already happened in the current timeline.
- Everyone always finds it really ominous because she refuses to elaborate, especially when it's just a one word message marking some anniversary or milestone that hasn't happened yet.
- She has a clock in almost every room of her apartment.
- She also keeps a couple of calendars that she actively uses.
- One is for the usual things like birthdays and anniversaries.
- The other one is where she notes down events she remembers glimpsing in the time-stream, no one else is allowed to look at it.
- She used to hangout a lot with Genji & Cole if they didn't have any missions lined up.
- Genji is the best training partner.
- They only really started since they were both adjusting to their respective 'enhancements' at the same time but they kept it up afterwards.
- Their training sessions basically ended up becoming really elaborate games of tag.
- No one really knows when she started hanging out with Cole but it was kind of a unanimous agreement that it wasn't a good thing.
- Lena & Genji? Chaotic but manageable.
- Lena, Genji & Cole? Memories of the incident lasted long after the organisation disbanded.
- One side effect of being able to manipulate your own personal timeline is an insane metabolism.
- She can either go for weeks surviving on nothing but the occasional snack, or she can clear out an entire fridge in a couple of hours.
- This also applies to alcohol.
- She either doesn't get drunk at all or she's knocked out after the first drink, no one ever knows which one it's going to be until it happens.
- Her medical history gives Angela grey hairs for that exact reason.
- She used to blink face-first into the wall a lot when she first got the accelerator.
- It didn't really hurt so it was more of a mild inconvenience until she got used to actually using the device.
- Sometimes she'll impulsively recall when she trips over or walks into something.
- Someone just spots a flash of light and they immediately know what happened.
- She can take the accelerator off without being dragged back into the time-stream as long as she still keeps it near her, but it was a while before she felt comfortable enough to actually do it.
(Note: She's seen not wearing it in the comics so the anchor itself has some range to it, she just has to wear it if she's going somewhere or if she wants to use her abilities.)
- The only people she doesn't always wear it around are Emily, Winston & Angela.
- The former because their apartment is small enough that she doesn't have to worry about being too far away from it if she goes into a different room, the latter two for maintenance & medical reasons respectively.
- She ended up befriending Mei fairly quickly when the scientist managed to regroup with them after the recall.
- Their experiences with time are different but it was comforting to find someone who could at least partially understand the experience.
I might do a part 2 if anyone's interested?
#overwatch#lena oxton#tracer#genji shimada#shimada genji#genji#cole cassidy#cassidy#angela ziegler#mercy#emily#winston#mei ling zhou#mei
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rewrites for Mining for Unobtanium
@indigosaurus she's AMAZING and really helped me....
so I took another dive at it and fixed some things.
the breaks aren't where they were.....Asterisks indicate emails
if you're under 18 or offended by secks and consensual BDSM, GO AWAY
feedback is always welcome
I'm not even certain how it happened. I was just slogging along like everyone else, checking off plagues on my 2020/ 2021 bingo card, trying not to lose my mind. I couldn't watch the news, THAT was an exercise in insanity: watching allegedly grown-ass humans argue about the benefits of their rights versus the health and wellbeing of thousands of others....fish tank cleaner, for crying out loud.....Horse de-wormer. I had been going to work every day. As an *essential* I quickly figured out THAT meant the same thing as expendable, but I loved my work, and loved my clients even more.
Home, work, home, work, occasional trips to the grocery, mask, gloves, wiping things off before I bring them in the house, and praying that I don't get sick. As an extrovert, all the things I would usually do to replenish are prohibited. So, no gathering with friends, no going out, no dinner parties, no seeing people, no performances, nothing. Sure, zoom. But that's not the same.
And then the phone rang.
And I looked at my cell, and I didn't even recognize the sequence of numbers, and the program I have that blocks Unknown callers kicked in, and that was that, or so I thought. It rang again. And again. Fourteen times from that odd sequence of numbers, no area code I was familiar with. When I'm home, the phone is on its charger. No one calls me. Truly. I'll get messengered. I get IMs through various programs, but almost no one calls. Especially with my work schedule. I honestly didn't know there were that many calls. I'm headed out to work in the morning, it's about four am when I leave, and that when I see how many calls have come from that odd number. " Determined little bugger aren't they? " and I hop in my little black Club Edition Miata MX5 and turn on Pandora to my 80's Euro-pop and start shredding gears.
I'm not going to apologize for my musical taste. Some of it's a function of my age. I happen to like ABC and Scritti Politti. I think "My Aim Is True" was LIGHT YEARS ahead of its time. Besides, it's great to listen to while driving a six-speed manual, and I get to work in a great mood. So far, pretty much like any other pandemic day. Phone appointments with clients, stay on top of my documentation, grab a smoke where I can, and Google that phone number.
Which is where it got weird. Turns out, it's a what do you call it? A Solicitor? Some firm in the UK. Lots of names; their website looks lovely, but that doesn't tell me much. Why in the name of Odin's panties would a solicitor be trying to reach me? I mean, that didn't make any sense. I've never even been to the UK, and the closest I got to Europe was three hours in Orly airport about a hundred years ago when they took all our luggage off the plane, had all of us deplane; in the rain, I might add ..... So we could all identify our bags and get back on the plane. I was eight.
I added the solicitor's number to my contacts, figuring that would stop it from getting blocked by Robokiller, and then perhaps they might leave a message or something. I went on about my day and didn't give it another thought.
Soon, it would consume my every thought. How was I to know....
They left a message. A rather cryptic message. I must have played it six times and when I pulled over I read it an additional four times.
“We are trying to contact you at the behest of our client to set up an initial meeting to ascertain if terms may be agreed upon for a mutually beneficial relationship. The client wishes your knowledge and expertise in certain areas and would insist upon the utmost discretion. ”
Reasonably certain I am nowhere in line for the throne, and even more certain I have not been left a peerage, I’m at a loss as to what this is even about. I mean at one time I had been told that my biological father was English, a subject of the Crown. Having gone looking for medical insight and falling into that rabbit hole known as “every genealogical and DNA site known to humankind” I now know that is a fiction. There goes the last imaginary stab at long lost relations across the pond, right? I put it in the back of my brain and then I got an IM from a dear friend and MC I have had the pleasure of working with, “you’ll never guess who wants to talk to you!!!!’“
I look at the instant message and assume it is a prank. I send him love, inquire after his husband and cats, and then, almost ladylike, I tell him to sod off. “Oh you’ll be eating those words, you will. I swear on her Majesty the Queen’s diamond tiaras". OK. Surely he was serious. Gay men do not swear on crown jewels frivolously. John calls and regales me with the story of his last gig pre pandemic at Fringe Festival in Edinburgh and the massive crowds, and how well it was going...John says “One day this bloke comes backstage with his mates and they were quite taken with the international man of leather bit. It seemed they had a tonne of questions”, and while Jon said they’re good-looking, they…..didn’t play for his team. So we chat a bit about that, and then he says he has to ring off.
I’m still befuddled.
I get home, kick off my shoes, take off my damned bra, and there’s a knock on the door. I look out the little window and it’s a person in a polo, from a courier service. I open the door a crack, they ask my name, I confirm my identity, show proof, and they hand me this envelope. Very mysterious. Ok. This is some next- level weird shit. Is there a cell phone in the package? Will it direct me to take the red pill and meet Morpheus? Become unplugged from the matrix? So, I light a cigarette, grab my reading glasses and see just how far through the looking glass we are about to venture.
It appears to be a non-disclosure agreement. Pretty serious shit, I might add, that will penalize my sole descendant and her descendants, which by the bye do NOT exist as of this date, in many courts, in several languages, in perpetuity. If I agree to the terms, I am to sign it, scan it, email it, and upon receipt, a link will be sent for a secured video call, but not with the principal. Well, it wasn’t worded that succinctly. The language was a bit more flowery. And in Legalese. Oh for crying out loud….. I cannot even imagine for whom THIS level of crazy would be necessary, but now, my curiosity has got the best of me, and I’m in.
Not only do I sign, I add a drop of blood and the retinal image from my last eye exam ( what? You didn’t ask to keep yours?) I figured if we’re going to be extra, well, by all means, let’s be extra as FUCK. No sense in trying to disguise my sense of humor, either.
Off it goes, inconveniencing electrons, and then there’s the email notification. Secure video call. My God. I click the link, seven extra steps and I’m video chatting with a very nice man in a very nice suit who explains that his client would like to engage my services.
"My services? For what, exactly?” I’m running the possibilities through my head. Slapping drinks out of the hand of a Kardashian adjacent ne’er do well? Certainly not as an MC or a joke writer. I don’t know how to write jokes. I can tell stories, but that doesn’t seem likely as an engagement of this magnitude. No one pay that much money for a story teller. By process of elimination it appears safe to assume that this might be connected to …… umm……. My extra curricular activities.
This seems as good a time as any to explain, I suppose. I’ve been a part of the Leather Community for some time now. Kink, sure, but Leather is different. Not just in the material.
If kink encompasses a whole list of things; think you may have seen, things you might even have done, and you may not even identify yourself as kinky. That’s really ok, perfectly fine. At some point you might decide “ hey, I AM kinky” and we’ll be right here waiting for you, eager to show you all our toys and the cool things we learned along the way, various tips and tricks, wardrobe options, all the things we gush over with other like minded folx.
And while I did say Kink, and you’ve probably connected the dots to BDSM being a part of that- I did specifically say Leather. Leather, TO ME, and I really do need to clarify that this definition is situational, contextual and not universal, is about a set of shared values. Honor, service, duty, community, family; it informs the way in which I move in the world as much as the twelve Steps do. It is about how I treat people, how I would like to be treated, it encompasses integrity, honesty and my personal ethical compass as well as my love of mixing sex and power. It’s between consenting adults, there are rules, protocol, a hierarchical structure, AND it makes my heart happy.
Back in the day, all right not THAT long ago, I was a Femme Domme of some renown. I had submissives, slaves, people in service to me. I travelled around this part of the globe teaching classes at conferences about interpersonal dynamics within hierarchical relationships, classes on negotiation, safety, the ins and outs of entry in the Community and I loved giving back that information which was freely given to me at the start of my journey. I played in conference dungeons with all manner of implements of destruction. I had written more than a few published articles and I still MCed and judged contests.
It HAD to be that, right? But why me?
“Well, we would like to retain you, as an advisor. You’ll be compensated, of course. Your travel will be taken care of, as well as the quarantine period and any testing. Should you travel while we are still experiencing restrictions due to the Global Health Crisis, you would fly privately, and expect to spend fourteen days in a superior accommodation until the end of the quarantine. Then, you would travel with our client. Your meals would be provided, you would be paid a generous per diem…”
“ Exactly how long did you imagine you might need my advisory services, do you figure?
"Well…..we were thinking approximately six months with the option to extend.”
And I didn’t say a word. I couldn’t. My brain had vapor locked. SIX MONTHS? I had a job, a life, and a home, and bills and things. Regular people stuff. I couldn’t just chuck it all for half a year, could I?
“I do have a career I’m quite fond of, and I’m not ready to retire…. ”
“Your compensation will be more than worth the inconvenience….” And he threw out an almost incomprehensible number. Six figures. For six months of work. And no expenses. I actually could retire. “Ok. Who is your client, and in what capacity do they want me to advise?”
“ We would have to calculate the time difference, coordinate schedules, and get back with you. You’ll be hearing from us in a few days. Good to have you onboard”. And the phone call ended.
Right as that happened my phone notification went off. My bank showed a wire deposit of eight thousand dollars.
Indecorously, I’m certain my mouth was agape. Eight thousand dollars, for a phone call? Surely they were barking mad. Criminals, perhaps. Something. This was just so…..weird. I took the documents to bed, picked out my clothes for the next day, then re-read them as I wound down for bed.
Thankfully there was the usual amount of sheer chaos at work to occupy my thoughts and I got through my sympathy unscathed.
The drive home was fun. I can always fix anything with six gears, loud music, and ignoring the posted speed limit. I had a few hours, so I did dishes, tossed in a load of washing, and was about to get a few more chapters done in my edX Harvard class when the phone rang.
An odd set of numbers? Check. Similar to the Solicitors office? Check.
“ Hello? Yes, this is. How can I help? Secure call? Yes, I’ll hold… ” and I’m sure that my heart could be heard pounding through my chest…. “Hello.” This lush beautiful full-bodied husky voice on the other end…. “ do I have the pleasure of speaking with miss Y/L/N? ” “ yes, this is. You appear to have me at a disadvantage, I don’t believe I got your name? ”
“You didn’t.”
“ Are you shy, cautious, or just a bit of a rake, kind sir? ” He laughed, and it was an infectious sound. Women wanted to be with him, men wanted to be him, charming. Very charming. “Then how do you prefer I address you? Sire? My Lord? Sultan? Or perhaps Daddy is more to your liking.” That got me a sharp intake of breath…..I smile, make note of that.
“Was there some purpose for this call, or do you usually make secure phone calls for no apparent reason?” Silence. I could hear background noise, but he didn’t speak. “ You’ve paid for my time, if you would prefer we spend it silently, so be it. I will put you on speaker, so I can at least continue with my classwork. ”
“Classwork? In what subject? ” That voice. Twenty years in radio and I process everything through my ears; his voice was dynamic, rich tones, well-modulated. “It’s a class on the Opioid Epidemic. When I finish, I’ll have a certificate from Harvard to add to my collection.”
“ Collection? ”
“Yes, I collect alphabets.”
“ You what? ”
I laughed. “It’s a bit of a euphemism: for letters, after my name. Professional certifications. ”
“I hope you don’t think THAT’S why I’m contacting you…”
“ Truthfully? It crossed my mind. There’s no shame in getting help if you need it, and I can see where having a personal sober coach would be a benefit. That would explain the drop everything and travel. ”
More silence. Not awkward, but not at the companionable stage, either.
“Well, I’m not planning on calling you by some honorific, and you still haven’t provided your name, so I shall give you a name. Yes. From two of my favorite book titles. Hero Solo. All right, Mister Solo… What is it you need from little old me?”
And then he laughed again, a deep belly laugh, like there was a great joke, but, clearly, I wasn’t in on it. When he stopped laughing he said “ I ran into a friend of yours. I was with friends and he was doing stand-up comedy, and some of the things he talked about were…… Intriguing, shall we say? So I went round after and one thing led to another and he said you were the woman I needed to find. ”
Now the gears are spinning, processor speed doubling every few seconds, a United Kingdom stand-up act…. and it clicks into place. "I can teach you what I know, and what I like. But there are still issues that may prove insurmountable.
For you see, Mister Solo, I know who you are, and why you came to me. “
Having finally figured it out, who the caller was, I was amazed I hadn’t freaked out and hung up. Internally I was fangirling my ass off, OMG I am on the phone with HENRY CAVILL.
And I can’t tell anyone. Damn my ethical standards to seven hells, and that Non-Disclosure Agreement didn’t help, either. But, it made sense. I had gotten some scene vibes from watching him. From some of his roles, August Walker, if I have to tell you, but also in interviews, and thought there might have been something else besides Big Dick Energy there.
Thankfully, he spoke. “ Issues? Like why I had to have solicitors involved? ”
“Well, that, of course. But there are other considerations. While what it is we do has become more mainstream, it is still taboo, and playing with sex and power can have consequences. Especially for dominant men. Too easily twisted, and too easily misconstrued. And, you have a bright future to consider. Fifty shades of crap did a great deal more PR harm. I mean, if Christian Grey hadn’t been wealthy, it would have been an episode of Criminal Minds.”
He laughed again “ John said you were funny.
“Oh I’ll have you holding your sides, but I’m not professionally funny. I do like your laugh, so that’s an incentive. But, here’s something you may not have considered. How do you explain me? I cannot just pop into your universe, and become some orbiting satellite. I mean, look at you for fucks sake.” I knew I was starting to sound a bit exasperated, but it couldn’t be helped. “I’m ….. Well…..I’m …. Well shit. I’m at least twenty years older than you are.You can’t be seen with me. You’re not Keanu Reeves, and even Keanu Reeves took a ration of flack for dating a woman his age. And, besides, I look like, well…. Me. ”
“I wish you wouldn’t talk like that. You do realize I have seen photos of you. I don’t believe they do you justice.” That voice. Those words. And I wanted to let it pour all over me like a balm for my bruised soul. I could feel it oozing into the dented places, soothing the hurts. “ So you admit to being a stalker too, Hero? I hope you got great shots of me on my way to work. Or did you pay someone to hack my social media? That’s rich! ” Now I was laughing.
I could genuinely like this man, and that was a great place to start. But, I still had a mirror, and he still had paparazzi. We’d been on the phone for three hours, and it felt like minutes, but, I had to go.
“ This has been delightful. I’ll send your money back. I feel terrible for taking it. The NDA will remain in effect until the stars fall from the sky, or the end of the world. You’re safe. Thank you for a lovely conversation. Goodbye. ”
And I hung up.
I only wished I could stop thinking about it. And him.
As though the Gods themselves had conspired to create a perfect man.
Tall, broad shoulders, thick dark hair, blue eyes that I swear could see through me, with that brown part in one eye, so he’s still mortal. Strong chest, covered with the perfect amount of hair….. Which I was willing to bet was the right combination of crisp and soft. So you’d want to play with it, bury your face in it but just rough enough to harden your nipples.
Well as it turns out the solicitor was having none of that. They sent a rather tersely worded email reminding me I was under contract and that the funds would not be able to be returned and that I may wish to rethink the terms I had agreed to and they expected me to fulfill my obligation. Damn my sense of leather sensibilities and that ethical compass. Now I had to figure out how to make this work in some way shape or form.
Days pass. I go to work, do my thing, help a friend through a rough spot, and find myself reading entertainment industry sites. Can you roll your eyes at yourself? Is that internal, or is there a facial expression that accompanies that action?
I deduce he’s in Hungary, try and fail to calculate the difference in time ( I have always sucked at time mathematics) and while I know there’s an app for that, I have no idea what a production schedule looks like. I also have no comprehension of what a typical day might be, or if there even is such a thing. I send an email to the Solicitors General and suggest that email may be a temporary solution, given scheduling constraints, and make a call.
“Benji! I am so glad I caught you! You aren’t currently dressing anyone fun? …Not that you can tell me at the moment…..did you ever get contact information for whoever did those designs for Patti Lupone in Ryan Murphy’s Hollywood? I know!!!! "We both squealed. "She looked AMAZING! " we said practically in unison. "So do you have a few minutes? Can I pick your brain? What does a typical day look like for a principal, on location?”
I took notes. Good intelligence and reconnaissance are always important. Turns out there isn’t any typical. It'sseldom what they need to shoot, but rather what got screwed up, what requires different angles, or lighting, or even who needs to be worked around. Maybe the horse is having a bad day.
Maybe I could find out what his interests were, what he’d done, what worked, what didn’t, what he wanted. See if he’d read anything or if he needed to unlearn any foolishness, and in the meantime, I’d do my best to keep my mind from wandering off on tangents about hoping he was switchy. That maybe he wanted to feel what it was like to not be in control, or there were sensations he was very interested in exploring.
Oh, I’d very much like to restrain him and tease him. I would love to see what sorts of noises he might make…. Moans? Growls? Threats? Promises of retaliation? Sharp intakes of breath? I wondered how fun it might be to edge….see how close I could get him to cumming, and then stop. With my hands or my mouth, show him what a woman with very little gag reflex is capable of. Or slow down, or change gears. How many times could I do that, I mean before he exploded?
Part of me KNOWS that he is busy, working. But the asshole who lives in my head cannot resist the opportunity for a stroll around my neuroses. He’s not going to contact you….. Because LOOK AT YOU. It’s good that you’re funny. At least you have that. You had your few minutes. Be grateful for the call and the laughs that you got. It’ll never be anything more. Don’t kid yourself loser.
And can we just talk about THAT for a minute? As someone who spends a bit of time in the public eye, granted a different public, but still.. and who had gotten misquoted and had it taken out of context and then there was a shit storm, you completely understood where that whole debacle had come from. His parents raised him and his brothers to be gentlemen. If he ever even did anything that would make his mother wince, he wouldn’t be able to live with himself.
And we’re not talking about “ alternative” sexual activities between consenting adults, right? We’re talking about actual consent violations, Harvey Weinstein stuff, the things that make you need a Silkwood shower. He likes wooing women, loves flirting, enjoys that whole interplay, but in the current climate, he could see where there might be a potential minefield.
He’s famous. Why do you think he had to have you sign a non-disclosure that was binding three generations forward? As in your great-grandchildren, yet unborn, couldn’t talk about this? Some people look for an easy out, sell their stories to tabloids. I mean that triad, where one of them was a fucking sex doll? And they ( the other two ) talked about her ( I am assuming her gender pronouns based upon her looks and I shouldn’t, but as the doll is mute it cannot verbalize any other preference) as though the doll were an actual third party in the relationship WHO WAS AN ACTIVE PARTICIPANT.
And when people started talking about it on social media, had all the nerve to be offended that misconceptions were being fostered. Darlings, YOU gave the interview to the tabloid.
So in interview he said ““There’s something wonderful about a man chasing a woman,” he said. “There’s a traditional approach to that, which is nice. I think a woman should be wooed and chased, but maybe I’m old-fashioned for thinking that.” Cavill went on, saying, “It’s very difficult to do that if there are certain rules in place. Because then it’s like: ‘Well, I don’t want to go up and talk to her, because I’m going to be called a rapist or something.’ So you’re like, ‘Forget it, I’m going to call an ex-girlfriend instead, and then just go back to a relationship, which never really worked,’” he said. “But it’s way safer than casting myself into the fires of hell, because I’m someone in the public eye, and if I go and flirt with someone, then who knows what’s going to happen? Now? Now you really can’t pursue someone further than, ‘No.’ It’s like, ‘O.K., cool.’ But then there’s the, ‘Oh why’d you give up?’ And it’s like, ‘Well because I didn’t want to go to jail?’”
And I can see that he’s a) old school and b) loves women.
To silence the asshole that lives in my head, I researched. There’s not a lot of anything about this man to be found on the interwebs. Pictures, Photoshoots, Ad campaigns, that horrid GQ Australia interview.
I can also see that he has no idea what the “new rules are” if one could put words in his mouth.
And he thinks that it would be easier to go back to someone he already had a ‘ relationship ‘ with because it’s a known commodity, even if it didn’t work.
And you can’t fault him for THAT, we’ve all done it.
Oh come on, a show of hands, everyone that had sex with an ex because you really needed sex and the battery-operated boyfriend was not cutting it.
I keep trying to do research, see who and what I’m dealing with. I mean between living my ordinary mortal life, paying bills, fretting about clients, making my productivity numbers. What surprises me is the utter lack of anything even remotely negative about this guy. No one has anything bad to say about him. His third-grade teacher, the kid down the street who used to play toy soldiers with him, heck, even the women he’s no longer dating have NOTHING bad to say about this man.
That tells me one of two things. Either a ) he really is some kind of a pod person and he’s an artificial construct; or b ) he really actually is that nice.
I’m cynical. I have a hard time believing B. But, all the data tells me otherwise. I watch hours of video, read all manner of articles, talk to people that work in the industry. Everyone says the same thing. “ What a great guy, Lovely, really. Nicest man, So kind. Someone you could really just talk to , I mean if he weren’t a world famous superstar. Not at all stuck up”
But, there are some interesting tidbits. Like that whatever that was with that actress from Big Bang Theory. That was a PR stunt. I think they were together for a coffee. He was with Marisa Gonzalo, who is a game hunter……. Odd choice considering his causes, and well she went and posted pictures of their vacation to social media, and whoops, trap door opened and she fell through. I think she engineered that whole thing, finding out the gym where he worked out and putting herself right in his path.
The women he seems to have stayed with the longest are Gina Carano ( The Mandalorian) and The professional show jumper…. what was her name….. they were ENGAGED for crying out loud….. but, the common thread is, I think with those women he didn’t have to hold back. I mean, he could. That’s always an option, to be gentle, soft, tender. But at over six feet, all that training, all that muscle, all…. that….. thrusting power……to HAVE to hold back, because you’re afraid you’ll damage your partner? Actually hurt them? and , you know not in a nice way? Like not in that “ oooh every time I sit down, I get that twinge in my nether regions and then I recall how I got that_ particular_ soreness and it makes me blush, and my undergarments get dampened” that sort of thing? More like “ I think I may have torn something and they might have to put an episiotomy stitch or two in that” sort of thing.”
Come on. We’ve all seen the pictures.
Blue sweat pants. You know EXACTLY the pictures I’m talking about. That is NOT the introductory class. Not by any ( pardon the pun ) stretch of the imagination. { I know, I’ll see myself out }
So I think that is part of why he is looking for additional dimensions to his extra curriculars, as maybe that might be a key. And I can see it. A submissive or a slave would inherently be more willing, more geared to his wants and desires, and if he were the proper sort of ethical owner operator, then he would be more geared to hers. It is after all power exchange, not power theft. If you’re going to surrender your will to another individual it’s based upon a deep level of trust and love that they’re going to cherish you and care for you and not do anything to damage you. That everything is consensual, negotiated and communicated.
It’s like a very complicated but elegant tango, really. So stunning to watch. Mesmerizing, looks effortless, but so much goes into it, years of work and practice, to make it look that seamless and easy. But that’s how he approaches things. This is the person who thought that the leather jerkin for The Witcher needed to look ‘ lived in’ so he lived in it. Slept in it, wore it constantly. Didn’t have some production person do it, HE did it. Does his own stunts. He doesn’t have to, he’s just that invested, and just that authentic. So , if this speaks to him, this power exchange, this Dominance and submission, then he’s going to approach it the same way, I would imagine.
Makes me wonder what he’s up to, wherever he is……
The phone rings.
It’s that odd series of numbers again, and it’s been a while but, I know, he’s busy. International superstar and all that. Filming, training, playing with his Bear Dog Kal. Yes, I know, not actually a bear, but a pretty good impersonation, really.
“ Yes? “
“ Is that how you answer a telephone?”
“Only when I know it’s you, Hero.” Trying to calculate the time difference is making my brain hurt. I light a cigarette and wait.
There’s a few moments of static and silence and then he speaks. Gotcha.
“ I read some of your writing. It’s …… not traditional. I rather like your perspective.”
“Thank you. Was it difficult to locate?”
“ No, not once I had the right parameters.”
“ Well, I do apologize for some of the drivel that surrounded it”.
Again, that laugh. “ That was more what I had come to expect, and not at all what I was looking for, really. “
“ Where do you find the time? “
“ Well, my schedule is a bit unusual, so I have time, it’s just not when one would expect. And I also found those two books. The Third Piano Concerto? Rachmaninoff? That was really quite a tale.”
“It’s one of my favorites. I read it at least once a year, despite the fact I can probably recite it from memory. I’m surprised no one’s made it into a film.”
“ Was that a..?”
“No, no not at all”, and I laughed.
He had some questions about my take on D/s dynamics and how I saw it a bit differently, that I didn’t think it possible that oneperson’s needs could be met simply by meeting the needs of another person. And that it wasn’t possible for it to be elegant gold chains and constant cocksucking, with a platinum butt plug in twenty two hours a day. Real life, you know? We have jobs and families and parents and responsibilities and interests, and fiction isin fact fiction, for a reason.
He talked about how it intrigued him, and I asked him which side of the dynamic. There was a long silence. In fact I wasn’t certain if the connection had been lost, but I waited. He said he wasn’t sure. I said that there was no shame in not deciding, and that it was perfectly reasonable to want to explore prior to making any determination.
“ Did you buy the first Bentley you saw, or did you drive one or two? Maybe take an Aston Martin for a spin? Pretend you were a Bad Guy in a Bond movie and get behind the wheel of a Jaguar? Drive a high end pasta rocket until you realized there is no place to put take away? “
“ Yes, exactly” .
“ What you need is a test drive. You have no idea what you like, but you probably have a better idea of what you don’t, perhaps.”
He paused again. “ Late at night, when I’m by myself, I know what excites me. I know what gets me hard. And it isn’t always the same things. And I’m not certain what to do about that.”
“ They’re fantasies. And they’re yours. You do whatever you like with them. If you want to try them out, great. If you want to keep them to yourself, that’s great too. Some of them are meant to stay in our heads. There’s no judgement. But, you won’t know unless you try. And I’m the safest person to try.”
“ I had hoped you would say that. I really had hoped you would say that “
“ I know. My role is to figure out what it is you want, even if you can’t tell me , or don’t quite know, and then serve it to you, on a silver platter. The term you’re looking for is Service Top.”
The phone calls continued, at odd hours. He would occasionally leave voicemails, saying things like “ I know you’re at work, but I wanted to pick your brain about….. ” or “you’re probably asleep, I don’t know what time it is there…” At one point I suggested emails, so if he wanted to discuss something then he could just send it, and not have to concern himself with time constraints .
I almost wish I hadn’t. I found myself checking my email more often, and my pulse racing when I saw one from him. He was sharp, inquisitive. Had stellar questions and a brilliant mind. Rather unfair, really, to be that good looking, nice AND smart. At this point now I’m starting to look for his Shakespearean tragic flaw. Like, there has to be SOMETHING wrong with him, doesn’t there?
He tells me how production is going, the training and the fight scenes. I give him shit about the comment he made in an interview about Geralt’s leather pants and how they had to change that because the leather would stretch out and then look….. Baggy. “ You ride a Ducati, don’t you? ” “You know that I do.”
“And do you ride in khakis? ”
“No, that would be excessively foolish. One dresses for the fall.”
“ And your riding gear is leather, yes? Does it get…. What was the word you used in the interview? Baggy? ” I was thankful in that moment we weren’t doing video calls. I don’t think I could keep a coherent thought in my head with that face looking right at me, while that voice was speaking to me at the same time. That’s enough to fry a woman’s circuits. Well, mine, anyway. And there was that damned laugh again. It turned my insides to goo. If the heat in my face was any indication, I was probably blushing. And I’m reasonably certain I do not blush.
“So you’re saying if they were made out of the right leather…..?”
“ Exactly. Leather pants should fit like you were dipped in leather, and left to dry. That spectacular ass you work so hard on should be framed like the work of art that it is, and if I’m to be completely candid… ”
“As if I could stop you…”
“ You did contract for my opinion …. You’d be sin personified in the right pair of leather pants. And the right cock ring. But I’m not certain I’d share that vision with anyone. Certainly not the media. There’s quite enough speculation about your endowments, and if we gathered all that up and prominently displayed it, well, I daresay I wouldn’t want to be responsible for the cardiac incidents. ”
I ask him to have his costuming measurements sent. I may have a trick or two up my sleeve. I know someone who does couture leather. Works with theaters and television. He tells me they will be wrapping up soon, and hopefully won’t need reshoots. I ask how much time before the press tour and he says he has maybe a month after they finish shooting, maybe more. “ Hmmmm. A month. That would be a start. Are you ready? ”
There’s a pause. I hear him breathing. I hear ice cubes in a glass. I wait.
“Yes. I mean, I think so. Or, I will be. That didn’t come out right. I sound like an idiot.”
“ You sound honest. Which is the perfect starting point. ”
“ So, what now? ”
“All sorts of things. Fun things, boring things, logistics, because you’re a royal pain in the ass, do you have ANY idea how difficult it is to locate an evil overlord impenetrable lair on short notice? Much less to MY exacting standards? And some basics. Ground rules. Limits. Interests. …I have assignments for you.”
“ Ok. ……Ma'am ”
“Oh, you’re going to be delightful, and probably evil on the other side of the switch. That’s why we need ground rules. And safe words. Ma'am….. Oh you make my cold black heart go pitter patter, Hero. Anticipatory behavior gets rewarded. I’ll mark that in your book. ”
I told him to find an exhaustive list of activities, fetishes and kinks and mark all that he had done, and loved, done and liked, done and didn’t care one way or the other about, done and never wanted to try again, NEVER EVER wanted to try, was interested in but hadn’t done, thought about, and which ones got him harder than Graduate Calculus. He said he would and rang off.
After that phone call I laid there, covered in a light sheen of sweat, panting, cunt throbbing, aching to be completely full of cock, and having to be content with the orgasms I had. I rolled over, lit a cigarette and contemplated the twists my life had taken of late. It was almost incomprehensible. And it occurred to me I hadn’t been paid lately, and I wasn’t entirely certain that I minded. But apparently thinking about it triggered something at the solicitor, and sure enough, another balance notification. I called my friend that did couture leather and asked if they had time to construct a few things. Measurements sent and funds transferred, I felt rather pleased with myself. Very cat with a saucer of cream, you know?
I had gotten the list back of the kinks and fetishes, and, as I expected, he was thorough, and precise. There were things he was interested in exploring, and things he wanted to experience, and he specified which he had done, and which he wanted to do, and from which side of the equation. I smiled. I KNEW he was switchy.
It didn’t change the fact that he had yet to lay eyes on me. That he hadn’t come face to face with the age difference, my additional pounds, and all of that could still be a deal breaker. Oh. Great. Hello, asshole that lives in my head. I figured you would show up about now. I was having too good of a time for you not to destroy it. So, sure, hit the highlight feel and let’s revisit EVERY bad decision I’ve made since third grade. I lit another cigarette. This was going to be a long night.
Now, in the right frame of mind, for the right individual, I can be very submissive. But I’m much more of a bottom. I’d prefer to still be in control….. Ok, we’ll do this ,this, this, you’ll do this to me, this to me, and, then, we will fuck like wild animals…..ready? Go!
Nothing jumped out at me as I went down the list, face fucking, choking, some August Walker shit…. Not surprised…bondage, edging, orgasm control, restraint, ice, wax, knives…..ooooh… I LOVE knives….hair brush spankings, I’ll bet that goes with the Daddy thing…teasing, spanking, hair pulling, oh, yes…..this was going to be fun!
If this was actually going to happen, then I needed to start putting things into motion. I called a friend at Mr. S in San Francisco, and gave them my shopping list. Butter soft leather, custom construction, suspension cuffs, wrist and ankle restraints, a few brand new floggers, one in certain for warm ups, one in buffalo that’s thuddy, almost like a massage, and then I started searching my stored toys.
Paddles, canes, needles, first aid kits, my singletails, harness, dicks, it had been a while since I had a submissive of my own, but, some things a Domme can never part with. It gave me something else to focus on rather than my rising panic. Even if I strapped myself to a treadmill and ate a rice cake a day…..just stop. We are not even going there.
Having extra money means things get done faster, shipped faster and in a matter of days I had the leather pants and all the custom work from Mr S. Yes, I wickedly overpaid. I even bought new leather suitcases. Well, toy bags. Suitcases. Whatever.
The next time the phone rang, it caught me off guard. I had been daydreaming, I suppose. Thinking about actually meeting him. Seeing that face, those eyes, and looking at me, and smiling. I don’t even think I registered the ring tone. “ Hello? ”
"Oh, it’s hello now, is it?“
” Yes, well, one must try to keep some air of mystery…. You must be completely done in. Any new injuries? “
” So far I have been fortunate, the training has really paid off. I am looking forward to not wearing contact lenses for a while. “
We talked about Kal, the press schedule, what was next, the new Netflix movie and I said I really like the longer curls. "Just enough to grab a hold of” and he got quiet.
“ And where do you think we’ll be going? Know of an island, do you? Where they won’t impound Kal? Someplace you don’t get mobbed? Wait, I know… Another planet? You haven’t even told me your name.
"Did I cross a line?”
“ No. … I …. Just….. ”
“You think you might enjoy that. You’re surprised I mentioned it. I think there’s a great deal you may enjoy. And I’ll have you know I’m working very hard to not sing ’ A Whole New World’ from Aladdin very off key. I’m a terrible singer but enthusiastic. But that’s….”
“ not the point” he interrupted. “These phone calls and emails are great. But I… We…. Can’t make any inroads this far apart. I know you’ll need a two week head start, for quarantine, even if you have a negative Covid test. ”
“And you haven’t even asked my name. “
And I hung up the phone and I had a good cry.
I did a few laps in my pity pool, a bit of water ballet, since I was already wet, and then I shook it off. You’re too old for that flavor of foolishness, I told myself, and I tried to get on about my business. All right, maybe I did need a bit more concealer than usual, but, that’s not the point.
My work was rewarding. Exhausting but rewarding and I dearly loved my clients. About three hours into my day a delivery man arrived, asking for me. My director pointed my office out and an enormous floral arrangement came around the corner. It looked like it was moving under its own power, since the person carrying it was actually obscured from view. White roses, green roses, hyacinth and Lily of the valley. Fresh start, new beginnings, and deeply traditional apology flowers. They smelled heavenly. I had no idea where I was going to put them. They were bigger than the clear space on my desk. I thanked the delivery person and went to get my work bag to tip them. “Oh, no, ma'am, that’s been taken care of, more than generous, really, thank you.”
I reached for the card.
My darling, can I call you that? Of course I DO know your name, Lord knows I’ve moaned it a time or two in the recent weeks, I’m surprised you didn’t feel me. I feel that connected to you.
I knew right the moment it went pear shaped, and I didn’t mean to come off as such a wanker. I just thought you felt it too. If you don’t forgive me, I shall have no other alternative than to learn the Rach Three, and join the French Foreign Legion.
Yours,
Henry William Dalgliesh Cavill
ps did I mention how absolutely sorry I am? Can I make it up to you over dinner? At four, your time?
What the apricot flavored fuck was he up to?Dinner? At four? Ok, that completely fits with my schedule,but he’s on the other side of the planet, and I’m not sure how this works. Instead, I wafted on the intoxicating fragrance of the flowers, tucked the note VERY close to my heart, and smiled when everyone and their cousin wanted to know why I got flowers.
“Just because I’m amazeballs."
” Damn straight.. That in fact you are! “
“All right I’m handing out homework for group, cause Miss Rona is no fun at all. Get it back to me TOMORROW, or you don’t get credit! “
I wish I had video of me trying to get this arrangement of flowers into my two seater. That was all flavors of funny. There was no way it went in the trunk, it didn’t quite fit on the floorboard, I didn’t want have to put the top down and let the wind at highway speed have at it. But, I prevailed, got it in the house and managed to make a section presentable for a zoom date. I stood in front of my closet for a good 45 minutes, freaking out. What do I wear? All dressed? Casual? Waist up? Alluring? Slutty? Screw that. It’s August. The temperature is best described as Satan’s front porch. Elegant and comfortable. Maybe my stomach will settle and I won’t throw up.
At precisely 3:45 my doorbell rings, and it is delivery people. I open the door and they come in and set up a small table , set it, plate the food, put some things in the kitchen and leave!
Food’s out, my mouth watering, and you have an upcoming video talk with possibly the world’s most good looking man. Nothing to panic about, at all.
I look and find a case of all the different flavors of No 1 water and remind myself to thank him for that as well. Mint. Ok. Let’s give that a try.
And throwing any and all caution ( and self preservation, I suppose) to the wind, I power up the laptop, and click the zoom link in the email.
Yes, by the way, it IS possible to drink a half a bottle of No 1 mint water in one swallow, especially if you’re desert parched and nervous as fuck.
And then my heart stops. And I swear to every God and Goddess I can recall, time stands still, and I’m praying that my mouth is not hanging open, because he is perfection. The angles of his cheekbones. That jaw line. Oh my God those blue eyes. Literally I could just fall into them, and never be heard from again, and I would be ok with that. The slightly messy sable curls, begging to have hands run through it, and all of this is short circuiting my poor overloaded brain in the space of SECONDS.
"Hi”
Seriously? Hi??? Is that the best you can do? You blithering idiot. Just turn off the computer, and find a hole to crawl into.
" Thank you for accepting my apology, and my dinner invitation. I really am sorry that I made such a dog’s dinner of it. I just, well, we were getting on so well, and it was comfortable, and I made a cock up of it. “
I remembered to breathe. In and out. You’ve been doing it for years…
” Well, I suppose I will let it go this once, but I reserve the privilege of punishing you later. “ And I smiled.
He looked down for an instant and then back at me, through his lashes, and there was a wicked twinkle there that wasn’t present before. "Deal.”
Dinner was delicious, and if I told you I recalled what I ate, it would be a bald-faced lie. It was eleven in Hungary, and the end of a long day for him, I’m certain, but the conversation was easy and light and a little flirty. I have no idea when I grew a set of balls that big, but, since no one had come back to tell me that reincarnation was a thing, I might as well swing for the fences. At about the two hour mark, I realized I was probably being very selfish and I should let him get to bed, and said as much.
"That’s the thing that technology lacks…“
” what’s that? “ I asked
"At the end of a marvelous date, I would see you home, and then I would take you in my arms, and I would kiss you. First kisses are important. You can tell a great deal about a person from how they approach a kiss.”
" You mean like long, slow, soft, wet, deep kisses, that last three days? “
"And the small of a woman’s back, and opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve”
"Thank you for a lovely evening, Henry"
"Thank you, y/n"
The next morning there was an email.
***The other thing I rather dislike about current technology is that I would have preferred to write this to you on proper paper. With an actual pen. There is something about the right paper stock, the feel of it, how the ink glides along the page. I do so love handwritten correspondence. Perhaps we can make that part of our dynamic. That is what we are constructing, is it not? I would hate to think we were not, for I feel as though we are, and I find myself floating in it, and at the oddest moments.
I spend, as you might guess, a great deal of time in make up and hair, and I use the time to go over lines and scripts ,changes, fight choreography, and then I see your eyes, laughing, with me, and I feel warm inside, and content. In a way I can’t quite put into words, but I definitely want more of, and soon. I think of things I want to talk to you about, and there is so much that I don’t know. I really should start keeping a list. I think about how your hair fell in front of your face during dinner, and the way that your voice changes in tone and how that does something to me. I want to lose myself in you. Can I do that? Will you allow me that?
The difference in our age doesn’t make a DAMN bit of difference to me. I find you captivating, elegant and so very real. You intrigue me and I need more. I suppose you may already know I had a relationship of some importance with a woman older than I, when I first came to the US. It’s odd, talking about it, now, with you, and when I think back to almost being cast in ‘50 Shades’, well, it’s rather ironic, isn’t it? And, oddly no one batted so much as an eyelash when I was romantically involved with a girl not old enough to drink in a pub.
I would love to be able to run away with you. Please let’s make that a reality. I have about four more weeks here and then I could get away. Anywhere you like. I want to be able to court you properly, hold you, kiss you, feel your hand in mine. If you leave in two weeks, your quarantine will be completed by the time I arrive.
Are you up for an adventure, y/n? Take a chance, on us? On this?***
I’m certain the word I was looking for was gobsmacked.
I had a difficult time staying focused all day and started and rewrote at least seven or eight emails in response. But my mind kept wandering off of its own volition.
He and I laying in the sun, laughing, Kal playing in the shallow end of the pool, secluded enough that I was working on an all over tan, and didn’t feel the need to dress. The kitchen was stocked, so we had no need to go anywhere and were free to enjoy each other’s company.
I got up and walked to the outdoor honeymoon shower to cool off and Henry came over and stepped behind me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and placed his head on top of mine. He pulled me into his embrace and we were both standing under the fall of water. I turned, and lifted my face to his. He gently brushed his lips with mine and I pressed my lips to his and leaned into the kiss. His tongue darted between my lips and I moaned, my nipples pebbling with desire and the added friction of the hair on that rock solid wall of a chest. My hands slid up his back and I pulled myself closer to him, still kissing, our tongues dueling for dominance and I can feel Henry getting hard.
"You’re incorrigible, like some randy teenager, aren’t you?“
” And maybe I’m just happy to see you"
“Maybe you’re just like Big Dick Richie and you finally found the pussy that fits that monster. How long has it been since you didn’t have to hold back?”
"About an hour or two" and he picked me up and slowly impaled me, inch by delicious inch on that weapon he calls a cock.
In between clients and panty dampening daydreams, I managed to formulate a response.
*****Ok, Hero,
Somehow, I knew you’d be a pen and paper sort of gent. And I would wager you’re particular about your choice of pens. Has to have the right heft, glide just right across the paper. I have specifications about pens myself.
Somewhere secluded. No press. I can go anywhere, and no one will notice me. You, on the other hand will cause a stir anywhere you go. Has to be someplace Kal can go. This isn’t going anywhere if the baby bear decides I’m not ok. I wouldn’t have anything to do with someone my dog didn’t trust.
I’ve probably spent more time than I should have thinking about kissing you, holding your face in my hands, losing myself in those eyes, and building this whatever this is. We will need some ground rules, safe words, and I would imagine your preferences, needs, wants and requirements will come into play. You’ll need to keep up your training, I’ll need to be aware of any dietary issues. There’s probably someone you trust enough for me to coordinate with on this, I would imagine.
I apologize. This is rather choppy, stream of consciousness, isn’t it? Multitasking, let me show you it. Or, maybe you just want to go home? Simple enough to get me into the UK, stick me in a hotel for two weeks and then it’s done and you have all the comforts of home. I can bring what I need and with minimal fuss, we can begin.
Your choice.****
So how IS this going to work? I mean , really? I keep telling myself this is ridiculous. I mean, for all of the reasons that my brain keeps playing on death loop; and then some. Let’s see, I could:
Go do medical tourism, have a frame off restoration, get an entire body lift and then MAYBE feel good enough to perhaps get caught by a photographer within twenty miles of him.
Invent a really good cover story about who I was and why I was anywhere near him.
Become some long misplaced relation who was lost to adoption two generations ago. Some charity case he took pity upon.
Believe me, it just gets worse from there. My brain is a very inhospitable place.
Instead, I forced myself to think a tad more pragmatically.
I looked at the list of things he wanted to do, and thought of the things I was willing to do and decided it was time to begin something that looked like negotiation in the time of the pandemic.
****Hello Handsome:
How are things in Dorking? Which, I have to say is probably the most aptly named place in the hemisphere, since you’re there, you dork. I hope they’re at least being kind to you and not beating you up too badly. With any luck, you’ll save some of that for me.
I’m compiling a list of *activities* and some of them intersect. I can’t say I’m too keen on arm wrestling you to see who gets to top first, so we shall defer to age before beauty. Treachery over youth and skill? There is a skill set that goes with some of these toys, and while it is referred to as play, some of them are considered weapons, and can do damage.
First things first. Safety and trust. If you didn’t trust me, we wouldn’t even be considering this, and at any point you can use a safe word. I won’t assume you know what that is. I will go from the concept that you know nothing and we can adjust from there. it should be a word that doesn’t come up in every day conversation, that’s unique enough that it won’t be misunderstood, but not so complex that you may forget it. For instance, the word I usually use is aardvark. But, in your case, maybe I’ll change that to kryptonite.
I am imagining you laughing. I hope you’re laughing. I’m laughing.
I will never damage you. I will hurt you, and ideally, you’ll like it. I hope to cause you exquisite pain. Erotic anguish. It is what you said you wanted. Been spending any time thinking about it? I have.
Anything that might cause marks will need to be healed back up by the time you have to be on set, or be able to be camouflaged. How do you tend to heal? Do you bruise easily? And never the face. Dear Gods no, not that face. We’ll start slow and go at what ever pace you feel comfortable. I honestly don’t think I can harm you and I’m probably more likely to injure myself on the mountain that is you.
Speaking of injuries, I expect you’ll pay for any damage you do. We may need to find a concierge physician who makes discreet calls. I might have a hard time explaining how I was injured. Should things go really sideways and I perish, I would only ask that you provide for my daughter. Nothing extravagant, just so that she is ok. And she doesn’t need to know where it came from, and it just needs to be enough to keep a roof over her head and gas in her car. Other than that, I don’t really think anyone will make that much of a ruckus. You’ll figure out a way to dispose of my remains. Make me into a diamond, put me in a pinkie ring.
I don’t think I’m destructible. I’m pretty hearty. Now if you want to have a training buddy, I’m down for that too. I could stand to be more fit, and would love a bit more flexibility. I can cook, and will learn what you like. But, there are some ….. concerns. I smoke. You drink.
I know you used to smoke and you’re extraordinarily health conscious, but I don’t have any intentions of quitting. So we will have to figure out some compromise. You drink and I’m twenty seven years clean and sober. I’m not going to tell you not to drink, but I don’t ever want that flavor profile in my mouth, not even in kisses. Something tells me I am going to love kissing you.
We’ll have to figure out a work around for that as well.
However I do think the part you’ll like the best is not having to hold back. Whatever it is, I can take it. And I look forward to you trying to wreck me.
Sweet dreams*****
And then I hit send. And cackled
Instead of an email, I received an attachment.
Not a picture, but a video. I guessed it was a “This is where we are shooting, and here’s my dog, and see how I look before they put this wig on me, or I thought I’d say hello while I was waiting for all the prosthetic scars to dry. “
You know, cell phone video of Dorking, wave hi to my cast mates, here’s where Joey fell into a mud puddle, that sort of thing.
Oh. No. While that may have been what I was expecting, that was not what I got. I clicked the link and damn near died. It was cell phone video, no doubt there, and I knew precisely whom. Panning down that rock solid chest sprinkled with all that chest hair he kept teasing to the women ( And men) of the planet…. and I thought about the nights I dreamt of my face buried in that chest hair, sweaty, satisfied, using him as a human weighted blanket. In my dreams he protested, said he was too heavy, surely I must be crushed by him, and I smiled trying to find the words to tell him how happy it made me, how safe I felt.
My eyes traveled down the eight pack…yes. Holy smokes he has an actual EIGHT pack. Is that even possible? Can humans do that? And I can hear him….
“Do you see what you do to me? One dinner? A few phone calls, some emails and look at this…..”
And God help me, I could not tear my eyes away. His hand, stroking up and down his very erect ,even bigger than I had extrapolated, beautiful thick huge cock. It took my breath away. My heart started to pound. I wished I was closer. I could see the pre cum leaking from the tip and my tongue licked my lips in anticipation. What I wouldn’t give to be able to show him in person what a grown ass woman with no gag reflex can do.
He was purring. That’s what it sounded like, a back of the throat kind of growly thing and his hand was moving faster, and I swear he said “ I’m hard like this almost constantly, dreaming about what will happen when we can actually be together, I want you…..” and he moans, and tightens his grip , and speeds up. His cell must be propped up, because I can see his other hand cupping his balls.
And his abs tightened up and ropes of cum splashed all over his taut stomach, watching some of it slide down those sinful iliac furrows……now I know why gay men call those cum gutters, and I swear I was drooling. I just wanted to lick him clean. My nipples were so hard they hurt and my pussy throbbed with need.
Muttering and cursing under my breath about the time difference I sent back a text message.
* Breakfast looked delicious. Wish I could have helped with that. I’ll see what I can do to make that worse, later. Flights and scheduling are up to you. Good night and sweet dreams, Solo.
You bastard.
Destroyed me, for days you did. Can’t even think properly and all I see when I close my eyes is that…..Dear God above. I’m dripping. Just dripping wet.
W A P indeed. This is ridiculous. My thighs are sticky, my panties are ruined, and I cannot stop thinking about that concealed weapon and how well you wield it.
You owe me a slew of sex toys. So many of those poor defenseless mechanical bastards lost their lives because of you, their numbers decimated, families destroyed….. “ mum, why won’t daddy ever be coming back to the bedside drawer? He’s been gone so long. I’m worried…. ” She doesn’t know how to tell her poor insertable battery operated offspring bout the power surge that cost da his life, and how hurled across the room in frustration, he had shattered on impact, and they couldn’t even have a proper burial…..
Oh I’d get so goddamned close, feel my center coiling up, tighter and tighter, nerve endings on fire…muscles tensing, cunt throbbing
, My toes would curl, and my legs would shake, and I’m making all sorts of noise…….And then…..
Slipped through my grasp, and I’m whimpering in frustration. What’s worse, is I can see you doing that for little lip biting thing that you do, trying to appear sympathetic, whilst at the same time trying not to laugh, and failing that, you actually laugh out loud. A deep resounding belly laugh. The infectious kind that has everyone else laughing. Mocking me.
So I don’t dare mention it.****
And the tension builds. I become testy. I descend into irritated. I have genuine concerns that I will make the complete transition to bitey angry velociraptor and lose the ability to morph back, or occasionally pass for humanoid. A best friend took pity on me and sent me this fantastic toy her girlfriend swears by. One end is insertable, it’s rechargable, has a billion different intensities, and then the other part is , how do I describe it? Well, there’s an indentation. More like a hole, really. And that’s where your clit goes.
It isn’t like it actually comes with instructions. That’s fair. Neither do we.
So, I messed with it. Some of the intensities were lovely. Some of them were waaay too much. A few of them annoyed me. I’ve never been a fan of the start stop thing. Apparently, there was some sort of harmonic convergence, and everything lined up, nudge nudge wink wink, and between the internal stimulation and the external felt almost like sucking, I swear.
Well, the top of my head came clean off, the skies opened up, the choir of angels sang to me, and you KNOW they all looked EXACTLY like him.
I think I passed out. I’m not certain how long I was blissed out, but I can say it put a smile on my face, and restored my faith in humanity. I was also no longer evil.
Once again fit for human consumption I resume sunshine and rainbow emails. “ Hi! How’s your day been? ” That sort of shit. He’s pretty but he’s not stupid. Video call request. Uh oh.
" Would you like to tell me what is actually going on? “
” Since you were kind enough to give me a choice, no, I would rather not. It’s embarrassing. Would you be satisfied with I have it sorted now? “
” No, I don’t believe I will. And, I love the haircut. Quite fetching"
I blushed, which was even more embarrassing. I don’t blush.
"Thank you. I needed a change. They pushed my start date back on my new job, and I was struggling a bit “
"You’ve been uncharacteristically quiet about that video I sent, and that took a great deal of trust and nerve on my part…”
" oh my stars! I can ONLY imagine and I may never have the words to tell you what sort of an effect that has…. Ummm…. Had….. I really think this is a conversation better had in person…… This is…. gah…..I …. Damn you. I used to be articulate. “
And then he laughed. I slapped the webcam away so it stared at the wall. I was going to need a minute to pull my shit together.
"Y/n? Are you there? Where did you go?”
" Just a second. …. “
I flipped the camera back, features all in place. ” Sorry. I know. I’m hysterical. If I’d had the opportunity to do stand up school you might have seen me rather than Jon at Fringe Festival. “
"But I want to see you. I hate that you have to quarantine.”
"Montenegro and Rwanda have no quarantine requirements. However, I don’t know that either of them are a ) recommended or more importantly, safe for Kal. There’s always Dubai and French Polynesia" I said laughing .
" I’m pretty sure you just want to go home, sleep in your own bed and have your own routine. I get that. There isn’t anywhere you can be invisible. I on the other hand, already am. So, if you want me somewhere, then, you make that happen. My needs are simple. Books, coffee, life water, or maybe you know someone who can actually hook me up with that botanical water I keep hearing about, that I can’t freaking get in the middle of the US? IfI have to stay put in one place for two weeks, ideally I’d love to smoke, I’ll need to eat occasionally, and a treadmill would be the cherry on top. Don’t you have people for things like that, Hero? “
And I smiled at him, with a devilish twinkle in my eye, because, now, it’s ON.
In retrospect, perhaps I shouldn’t have mentioned that they pushed back my start date. I mean, I didn’t think anything of it. He was working , for fuck’s sake. Damn Netflix to eight hells for telling me there is a thing that exists called Inside the Episodes, and then when I go to play it? Oh, NO, y/n. You may not have this viewing pleasure. I’m starting to think it’s a conspiracy.
Two days later, there’s a knock at the door. I get my firearm, and I answer. Look, I’m American. I know that the neighborhood I live in can be a bit touch and go and don’t get me started on the “entertainment” that emanates from next door, but I don’t get visitors, and no one just knocks on the door. I look out, and it’s a man in a well tailored black suit, and there’s an SUV in my driveway. What the fuck?
I open the door, Glock at my side, behind the door frame, “Can I help you?”
“ Are you Y/n L/n? ”
“ Yes, but there must be some … ” the man hands me an envelope.
“I’ve been instructed to wait in the car”, and he turns on his heel and walks back to the SUV, gets behind the wheel and states straight ahead. I’m looking for a camera. What kind of stunt is this? I shut the door, put down the gun, light a cigarette and open the envelope.*****I’m tired of waiting. I enjoy the getting to know each other part, but distance is not helping. Throw some things in a bag, and come on. If you forget something, I’m certain it can be duplicated. You had mentioned you may have picked up a few things. I hope you don’t forget those.
And he signs it;
“Tired of being Solo”
Did I mention it was on?
Well I’ve had a bit of experience packing for trips, there was a time in recent memory when I was traveling thirty six weekends out of fifty two. I am quite talented at gathering what I need, making sure it fits in an appropriate case, that I can manage, and have the right things in the requisite number of carry on bags. In precisely thirty seven minutes, I locked the house, engaged the alarm and startled the driver by knocking on his window.
“Did you want to unlock the door so I can put this in the back seat, please? ”
Myself situated, bag on the floorboard opposite side and my purse and carry on next to me, I assumed this would be a very short ride to the airport. I’m literally minutes away. The driver asked me if I wanted to smoke. I laughed and said I did but it wasn’t allowed in hired cars. He told me it was in this one. I said that I didn’t see the point as we be at the airport in minutes. “No, ma'am. Begging your pardon. I’m to take you to ….” and he looks at a screen. …And says “Spirit Airfield”. Ok. NOW, I’m smoking.
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Utsuro and Akane at the fair
You've waited so long for this, and all I can do is apologize.
♡ Utsukane | Fair Headcanons
It isn't anything new that Utsuro is a very... tired and lethargic man. He won't move a muscle for days, hardly even breathing, unless Akane asks him to do so. Even then, there are times in which he'll only manage a blank stare before going unresponsive again.
Thankfully, those are only the bad days. Akane wouldn't know what she'd do if that was all the time...
On the average days, she can convince him to actually get up and move around. On good days, he'll even agree to go somewhere with her to stretch out "those sad little bones," as she cheerfully puts it. Today, she wrote him a list of places she thought might be fun, and he cast a lingering glance at one in particular: a travelling fair that happened to be in town.
Akane only really considered what he would even be able to do once they got there. Rides might be fun, but wouldn't he make them malfunction waiting in the line? Maybe. Let's not risk that until later, to not rise too much suspicion, hm?
Next option was the festival games, which... also. Were not an excellent option, as he can't exactly play them fairly. To be fair, the fair itself doesn't play them fairly because they're rigged. Wouldn't two "unfairs" make it a fair competition, then?
To Akane's surprise, Utsuro was the one who picked out a game. The lights surrounding the booth caught his attention and he wandered over to it. It was a stand that had towers of bottles to be knocked down. Usually, some of the bottles are glued or stuck together so that they can't all fall.
But Utsuro simply took one of the balls and handed it to Akane.
She was pleasantly surprised now, looking between him and the ball curiously. "Huh-? You don't want to at least try?"
"... Everything would fall. Even if I dropped it."
"Right. But why are you giving it to me? I can't win anything."
In lieu of a response, he leaned in far too close, a hand drifting by her side to guide her near. He gently guided her hand to point at a corner of one of the bottles.
"... There," he mumbled. "Hit it there."
His slurred words rang through the haze that ebbed on her mind. It grew stronger whenever he drew too close, and could linger for days or weeks at a time. She always welcomed it eagerly.
But now, it drew away once he moved.
... He's allowing her to do it on her own.
Any toys they won through this process would have been given to Utsuro to hold, though Akane herself offered to do so. He seemed very content with a certain stuffed bear in particular. He got to keep that one.
She also introduced him to what cotton candy was, after she found him wandering away again to look at a stand. He stared blankly at the treat up until it was in her hands. As they sat down at a table not too far away, she could have sworn he actually looked... pleased with the small piece she put on his tongue.
#dra#danganronpa another#danganronpa another: another despair academy#akane taira#taira akane#utsuro#utsuro dra#this feels unfinished but i can't think of anything else so take it.#♡ ~ asks answered#♡ ~ headcanons
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two beautiful girls
someone asked for me to try dad!tom again so here's my humble attempt, I really really hope it doesn't disappoint but honestly I didn’t spend a lot of time on it before my brain turned to mush :) hope everyones okay... today seems to have felt particularly shitty for no real reason, but sending lots o love <3
dad!tomholland x reader
Summary: dealing with your daughter while tom’s away is tricky to say the least, but its all worth it when the three of u are reunited again // fluff (and maybe angst if u squint rlly hard)
(I can’t work out where this pic is from to credit but pls lmk if it’s yours/ u know)
Normally, hearing the door turn in the lock of your front door was one of the best sensations in the world. No matter how long Tom had been away for you would always be filled with such a sense of relief and warmth just by knowing he was there. Sometimes it’d be after he left only a couple of hours previous for a two hour meeting; or after a quick long weekend in New York for an event; ranging to a two and half month block of shooting across the globe. Especially since little Nova was born, your longing for Tom was only quadrupled because you also had a complete ‘daddy’s girl’ pining after him too.
Tom had only been away for a couple of nights, yet your 18 month daughter seemed to think she’d been abandoned for months on end. She had slept for less than 6 hours each day and as much as you tried to appeal to her wise and intellectual side (which didnt really exist - she was only 18 months) that sleep would pass the time till his return ; she was having absolutely none of it. Nova kept you up for hours and hours, screaming, screeching and wailing because you weren’t as ‘funny’ as daddy or as soft as her daddy. And what does a sleep deprived baby lead to…? A grumpy baby. She refused to eat which was so awful because then you felt as if you were neglected your child.
It just made you feel a bit of a failure, to be quite frank. The house was a mess - you’d tried almost every toy to cheer her up, which Nova had actually found great joy in launching back at your face in spite. You were a mess too - at one point, who knows when, you had tied your hair back but now flyaways were everywhere as it pulled itself out of the grasp of the too-loose scrunchie. Oh and then there was the babyfood Nova had kindly spat all over your shirt.
It had been a really fun three days.
It was therefore counter intuitive, the fact that Tom’s homecoming only filled you with dread. But you didnt want him to think your were a failure. You were supposed to be Novas mum after all, why must things be so hard when they’re supposed to be all natural and easy? She hadn’t even reached the terrible twos phase yet - that seemed like a far off hellish nightmare you were trying to avoid thinking of. Of course, you loved loved loved Nova - she was already growing up so fast that it actually hurt your heart a little, to think of how much in even a week she’d grown.
But it was still fair to say she’d been a little devil this week.
This evening you had finally managed to tempt her to sit in the high chair, she’d had about two mouthfuls when you heard Tom entering. Thats exactly what you needed, Tom to get her all over excited so she wouldn’t eat, wouldn’t go down and wouldn’t let you rest. In the madness of it all, you hadn’t managed to even attempt to clean up the sea of toys either so Tom would immediately have all your failings before his eyes. Just bloody great.
“Where are my two beautiful girls?”
Like clockwork, he’d always say it and Nova would always gurgle out a “dada” just as she did today. Though this time she kicked her legs in desperation, momentarily looking at you with the kindest eyes she’d given you the week. It was only because she wanted something, you knew that, yet you still gave in. With a sigh you stood up and unclipped her from the high chair, even if this was the first time in a good few days she’d been happily eating her dinner. Or rather, had taken the single first bite.
She had something to show her Dad though. When he’d left she still didnt have certain skills, capabilities that only now she had learnt. Nova was very proud of her knew ability to kick things - recently discovered when you were attempting to put her shoes on to go to the supermarket. Instead, after 5 attempts of her impressively booting them across the room you’d surrendered - Nova walked round the shops barefoot (probably a bit irresponsible on your part but desperation calls).
So now she giggled whilst hurtling through the room, as Tom rounded the corner in grey joggers and a black hoodie. You watched his eyes light up, whilst he knelt down at the door way to welcome your curly haired princess into his arms. With all her force, she barrelled into him , her little arms wrapping as far around his broad chest as she could. Immediately Tom reciprocated, pulling her up into his arms and swaying slightly side to side.
“Hey little one, I missed you!” He was positively grinning from ear to ear as he rose the two of them up , pressing a quick peck to her unruly locks.
Only then did he look up and survey the surrounding situation, you saw him track his eyes through the mess of toys on the floor, over the counter top piled high with dishes you hadn’t got round to doing and the bin that was overflowing because you just had kept putting off taking it out. It was so embarrassing that you daren’t to even look at him, instead focusing completely on mixing the now lukewarm mush you’d made for Nova round the bowl. Tom slowly picked his way through the hazardous floor, inspecting you closely. It honestly made him feel a pang of guilt, the way you looked beyond exhausted and run down - the dark shadows under your eyes only testament to that.
“Hey darling.” He spoke softly, keeping Nova pressed to his chest in one arm while the other went to rub your side. “You okay?” Not wanting to disappoint him, you momentarily collected yourself before looking up at him with the a small smile.
“Yeh I’m good. How was the flight?” You knew Tom already saw past your attempt of small talk, the was his eyebrows furrowed slightly being the tell. But before he could question you further Nova started wriggling round in his hold, making him arch back to look at her.
“Have you been a good girl for mummy little one?” Given your defeated look, Tom was pretty sure he already knew the answer - Nova chose instead of confirming either way to just wriggle some more as she shouted Dada.
“What you doing crazy?” He chuckled rhetorically, bending down to let her out of his hold, where she then dragged him across the room to the foam mini ball she had. With her still slightly uncoordinated gait, she focused her eyes completely on the ball, her tongue slightly poking out the left corner of her mouth. Then with a forceful yelp she smashed the ball upwards and across the room, flying into a closed cupboard door before bouncing down to the floor. Expectantly Nova’s hazel eyes immediately then searched for her Dad’s - a massive smirk on her face.
“NO WAY NOVA!!!” He shrieked, running and scooping her up once again, this time spinning her round so her legs flew out- her giggles enough to warm even the coldest heart of stone. “Your right foot is better than Manes!” He laughed, though neither girl in the room getting the football reference- Tom had long since given up hope of you getting invested in football, no matter how hard he had tried. “You’re gonna be the best little footballer Kingston has ever seen!”
Nova seemed more than fulfilled with his praise, laughing and settling down in his hold whilst he straightened up glancing back at you again.
“She’s learning so fast.” You mumbled up at him and Tom nodding, taking a seat in the chair next to you.
“She’s got a pretty impressive teacher!” He tried so hard to perk you up, nudging your side as his gaze felt as though he was boring holes into you.
Not knowing how to reply to his compliment you left it and the room faded to silence briefly, the atmosphere feeling rather uncomfortable for your marital home.
“Do you mind finishing off her dinner if I take a shower?” You muttered under your breath, wanting an escape.
Naturally Tom agreed, even if he watched you walk out the room with a worrisome expression on his face. He knew his job wasn’t easy for you at all. It had been hard enough when it has just the two of you, the long periods apart bore longer on you. Over the time Tom had been acting, he’d become somewhat used to these long periods of absence, it had just become the usual. But for you? You working a normal job meant it was harder. You couldn’t go on double dates with your friends - half the time you boyfriend was across a sea from you. Now though, with Nova, you’d lost someone you grew to depend on. Yes, it might only be for briefer periods of time but it still didn’t feel any easier. He was effectively leaving you to be a single mother and although his family obviously endeavoured to support you in every way possible. It just wasn’t the same.
So whilst Nova babbled excitedly her mostly gibberish in the highchair, Tom spent the time sweeping round the kitchen/diner , collecting up the toys into their boxes, loading up the dishwasher and wiping clean the surfaces - all whilst entertaining Nova with brief ‘no reallys’?” And “what ! That’s unbelievable’ and “so what did you tell them?” In response to her baby language babble. His fiery daughter was distracted by the food and one sided chat for all of 20 minutes, letting him just about finish up before she grew impatient of some more attention.
“So what did you get up to then little miss nuisance?” He asked while wiping her mouth which was now smeared with her tomatoey gloop.
“Went park. Mummy made cookies!!”
“Cookies? No way can I have one?” He did honestly fancy the sound of a cookie, and after lifting her out the seat and onto his lap he looked round the kitchen in search of the baked goods.
“No.” She giggled with a mischievous twinkle in her eye “all gone!!”
“What?!?”
“All gone! Mummy and me drawed too look!” She pointed out the multicoloured scribble of uncoordinated lines spiralling together that had been stuck on the fridge.
“Oooh that’s beautiful darling what else did you do?”
“Mummy and me played paw patrol! Mummy was silly!” Nova laughed at the memory, Tom squeezing her up into his chest again loving how bloody precious she was.
“Why was mummy silly?”
“She did Ryders voice! Mummy voice is better than Daddy’s!”
“WHAT?!?” Shrieking in offence, Tom tickled her belly until she was squirming on the top of his thighs in fits of laughter, making Tom laugh away too.
He truly loved his beautiful daughter.
It took you a good couple of hours to venture downstairs, feeling for some ludicrous reason that you had to pluck up the courage. When you went down, you assumed that Nova had already passed out or was about to - the house was serene and quiet. So in your joggers and one of Tom’s big tees, you crept back down the stairs. Entering the kitchen first to get yourself a water and Tom a beer ( he never didn’t want a beer, especially after a long flight). As you entered, your feet seemed to loose their connection with you body making you halt jerkily, seeing the almost sparkling kithchen. All the toys and general clutter was gone from the floor; the dishes magically vanished, revealing a counter that you’d almost forgotten had existed. What you had done to deserve Tom was beyond you, yet you were so grateful - and felt a flutter inside your chest as you went back out and into the living room.
Tom had Nova sat on his thighs, though she was more like slumped against his chest as he tried to lull her to sleep with his deep voice quietly reading one of her superhero books. It had been unavoidable - she’d been indoctrinated into the world of Marvel before she could even talk, Tom insisting on wanting her to know that ‘she could be a superhero too if she wanted to’. The Spiderman baby grow, the captain marvel water bottle- the subtle nods to his roles where impossible to avoid in your house. His warm eyes briefly flicked up when he noticed you standing at the doorway, he paused his sentence to give you a warm smile and nod you over to the sofa beside him. Still feeling a little self conscious, you stared at the floor while rounding the table and plonking yourself down next to him - allowing just a little gap of space.
“Thanks for sorting the kitchen, I’m sorry-“
“Don’t worry at all darling” He arched over to you and pressed a quick peck to your forehead before Nova mewled in annoyance of her story being interrupted. He lightly chuckled, bringing the one hand that wasn’t holding the book to brush her unruly curls back off her head.
Tom kept reading in his soft voice and you let your eyes slip close, just enjoying the peace that you hadn’t experienced in what felt like a lifetime as Tom’s voice lightly hummed through your head. That was until Nova decieded to interrupt the calm just once more. She grumbled insistently and squirmed in her Dads lap, before heavily pulling her head up and blinking at you - holding her arms out expectantly.
“Think she wants her mum” Tom whispered, already lifting her over to you as you sat slightly bemused by the whole situation. Tom was home, her daddy was home, why did she want you? Tom laughed at your quizzical face as Nova burrowed her nose into you neck, letting out a contented huff. “My girls huh?”
“I promise you this is the first time this weekend she’s acknowledged me as anything more than mrs truchbull!”
“Well she’s spent all evening telling me about how good you are at baking and how your paw patrol voices are better than mine.” He murmured his words lowly, so as not to disturb Nova who was already asleep on your chest.
“She did?”
“She loves her mum… almost as much as I do” Chuckling, Tom wrapped his arm round you, pulling the both of you down to his chest while you swore your heart was exploding.
“I love you too Tommy”
Safe to say you and Nova were both exhausted, so after an almost shamefully short time your head rested heavier and heavier on Tom’s shoulder whilst he aimlessly carded his fingers through the ends of your hair. You really were an exceptionally amazing mother, before Nova Tom assumed he couldn’t love you anymore and yet seeing you cuddled up to his baby girl - his feelings for you could only grow infinitely. Making the executive decision to not move either of you upstairs to bed, he instead reached over to grab the blanket. He draped it over himself and his two best girls, choosing to stay in that magical moment for as long as possible.
He loved his beautiful family of three.
And tess … Tess too ;)
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Happy anniversary Grace! Released August 23, 1994 📷 Merri Cyr
What were you aiming to achieve musically when you went in to record Grace and are you happy with the results?
Just to express, just to make a record of pure expression. Am I happy? Well...well, it's uh, it...Grace...a record that you make is something that changes and shifts and I am something that changes and shifts and I'm gonna have to really be a mature human being and say against all my sensibilities, yes, I'm pleased but I'm horribly self critical. I'm horrible. So sometimes I'll just say "oh this is the biggest piece of shit I've ever seen in my life, blah, blah, blah," but I won't...I mean, but because Mickey and Matt and Michael are on it, I can't really say that 'cause they do...I'm so proud of them. It's alright, you know, it's alright, I just can't wait til the next one. I can make a better record than Grace.-interview in Paris for Rock Rush, September 22, 1994
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The next album will probably be more joyful but this time, it was impossible...You can be cute, funny, generous, there's always the danger of a break-up in a love relationship. No one is safe. Grace, this is the album of a jealous, poor guy who just got dumped."-Les Inrockuptibles, October, 1994
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"I know the next album will be a very different kind of work—even more direct than Grace, but bigger in scope. If people were confounded by the range of the first album, they'll probably run to it as a safe haven in light of what's to come.
"I can see it now—'The amazing, beautiful disaster pastiche of Grace is totally lost in Buckley's newest work.' We haven't started recording it yet and already I'm bored with the reviews."-Now magazine, 27 Oct, 1994
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I mean, I hope people don't get too attached...no, that's impossible...hope the media and the wheels that turn don't get too attached to Grace. 'Cause you know, it's out and you know, I just want to make another one and another one and we've grown so much already, we've completely mashed that album into the ground.
Is what you're saying is you don't want them to want you to do another album like Grace? Because the next one will be different?
No, no, no, no...I mean just like...uh, yeah,you know...I don't know, what is it? I just...
You know how sometimes the company will say "oh that one was so good, so do it again"?
Nah, the company is like the least of my problems actually in that respect 'cause they know everything's growing and the people I deal with are very happy and pleased as they say in the music biz. They know where I'm coming from but it's just like in another interview...um, we've evolved, and we'll keep on evolving, I mean like radically. Like radically. And Grace is, Grace is just a completely different work unto itself, it's a box where I put things in my past that have made made my past live, in a box, away.
So you're done with certain things?
Yeah, in a way. But on to new things. It doesn't mean that I'll completely eskew, or astew, or get rid of, whatever that word is, get rid of the old things, it's just that I like the present so much.
How do you feel when you listen to those tunes and how they were recorded?
Sometimes we can't listen to 'em and sometimes we're totally in love with 'em-WDET, October 31, 1994
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The New York Times has called "Grace" the best debut record to come along since Tracy Chapman's in 1988. "I can't listen to it anymore," said Buckley, 26. "The songs have changed. I like it, but it is sort of like looking at baby pictures."-Salt Lake Tribune, November 10, 1994
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What about Grace? So many people, at least in France, the press is all unanimous, your records are selling, it's a masterpiece...what do you think about it now?
'Massively beautiful album'...somebody gave us a rush of a commercial, that was supposed to go out on the TV and I hope it doesn't make it: 'Grace, it's unanimous, blah, blah, blah...' Not that's bad, but it's just a first album and we've really grown since then and it just doesn't make sense that it seems to have this kind of impact, commercially. The people who really...you know, like...I don't know, I'm sick of magazines, I can't even buy them anymore, just tired of 'em, they don't say anything. I hope it doesn't sound like I'm whining, and maybe I am, but it's just...it's boring man, I'd rather go to the gig. Now there'll be people who will come out with something else and people will say 'obviously lacking the splenderous chaos of Grace, this new album falls short...' I can hear the reviews already and I'm totally bored. I hope that people just calm down really. Actually our fans are pretty normal, they're pretty cool, they're pretty calm about the whole thing. But the media seems to...you know, the media, the rock critics they've lambasted plenty of brilliant friends of mine which just shows me they have no taste whatsoever, and usually in most cases. Just totally destroyed people who've made great work. And then this comes along and 'this obviously is the thing,' how am I supposed to trust that? I can only trust my friends, and my band, and the people that come.-interview for Top Live in Paris, February 15, 1995
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Praise has been especially glowing in England, where the respected pop monthly Mojo named "Grace" the album of the year and Q magazine hailed it as "an enthralling, endlessly playable piece of work...the missing link between (Van Morrison's) 'Astral Weeks' and (Nirvana's) 'Nevermind.' Isn't Buckley flattered? "Of course I am," he says, shifting in his chair as if annoyed at himself for admitting it. "At the same time, I'm not 'Grace.' That album is like a brick onto itself. It's like a coffin that I put certain feelings and observations in so that they can be capsulized forever. I wanted to put them there so I would be free to move on.-Los Angeles Times, February 19, 1995
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“I just thought it should link this album to my past a little,” he said at the time. “Grace is like...a lot of this stuff ... I don't know how to describe it to you...It's just a bunch of things about my life that I wanted to put in a coffin and bury forever so I could get on with things.
"On the outside of that you can say that I find great joy in the things that are sad. That's the way emotions are in people. They fall down on you and there's no way to get out, except to go through it. There's no way you can control it, there's no essay you can write to answer yourself out of it. It just soaks you like the rain. There's nothing you can do. Then it's gone and then another comes around. But tears are not all I deal with. I'll leave that to the next album.”-Juice, February, 1996
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