#(i dont remember if they were days or weeks-)

[cator99]

please finish your wedding story, i so badly want to hear the rest of it. i await eagerly.

>everyone lived happily ever after

>a few weeks pass

>I write the brides a lengthy and detailed letter of recommendation to their immigration lawyer

>they're overjoyed and think its a beautiful letter, and I'm glad to help because I hope they last forever and get everything they want in life, if I may drop the act and be sincere for a moment

>a few days pass. the bride I've known for over 15 years messages me

>however... she doesn't care. she's on her honeymoon. and I'm just some chick she was friends with as a kid. what does upset her is how she found out.

>at first I assume that the woman who reached out to her (who I knew back in jr high, and is a few years older than me) was just trying to upset her

>bride tells me about how this woman was her best friend and then suddenly blocked her out of nowhere, which was (and is) still very painful for her

>the woman, who we will refer to as "A" whips up a story about being concerned for the bride's safety and privacy or something

>bride is confused. there's no identifying information. the post is a nothingburger to her. what's important here is that she's upset that this woman messaged her after 4 years, not to make things right..... but to talk about "zander"

>right, this is about me, because this is "A" we're talking about here...... hell hath no fury like a closet case scorned

how did she find my blog?

I assume it went like this:

>"A" goes to peek at her ex-bestie's wedding photos

>"Zander" Spotted

>runs to LC

>"hey does anyone remember Zander who I used to post about on here all the time 7 years ago? I may have found an update!"

>"that's terf cator99 who was posted about on the Women Youre Ashamed To Want To Fuck thread you fucking idiot that looks nothing like her"

>no here's proof!

>autism ensues

>several replies get deleted, other responses indicate they're "A" sperging and linking my blog

>people argue if I deserve to be there anymore

>"she's a tif"

>"no"

> yes"

>"no"

>"I used to know her" ["A" posting]

>"tell us more!"

>"she used to have this one pair of glasses and then she had this other pair of glasses that looked really good on her..."

meanwhile:

>assume she's probably back on her LC shit

>find and link bride to the LC thread and explain to her that "A" has just been trolling for fun and to pay it no mind, you're better off without her in your life

>"hey bride-chan, not to be weird but I'm just trying to understand this shit, do you think A ever had a thing for me... I always kind of assumed she was bi or gay when we were younger and thought it was cool that she was androgynous and went to school dressed as Kaito from vocaloid all the time so I wanted to be her friend but she was pretty rude to people and I backed off"

>"well i dont know but she's married to a man now..."

>yet here she is trying to get under the skin of two women who are with other women

to be fair I earned the lolcow title fair and square years ago all on my own, and really do feel I owe "A" a favor for introducing me to the site. it was very formative for me to find out places like that existed right at the moment I was starting to have conflicting thoughts about the trans shit so I could gain some self-awareness (and general awareness overall) (shout out to "A"s friend who cowtipped to me.....)

meanwhile, on LC:

>"well done ladies, we've figured it all out. Butch Lesbian cator99 is currently partying with gay men, and It is common knowledge that "gay men" are all secretly bisexuals who are looking to hook up with women who say things like "I'm a lesbian" and "I am not attracted to males". That is their mating call, in fact. These words activate the Hetero gland in the Amygdala like a sleeper agent who has been biologically programmed– as we all are– to stop the kiki-ing and split off into heterosexual pairings at the end of a poppers-fuelled night assless-twerking to Britney."

>"good work. But I'll one-up you: look at this screenshot."

[photo from an instagram account, featuring a photo of 17 year old Zander's legs in the bath. "I Am Totally Into Epic Awesome Penis Now!!!!!!" (She had never seen a penis)]

>"yes, this is definitely a normal thing for a straight woman to say. I always knew she was a faker."

>"yes. as im sure you're all aware, there are many social and career benefits from pretending to be a lesbian."

>"doesn't that idiot know that she can't just lie and change her orientation? I can't believe she's been straight this whole time."

>"what does she have to gain from lying?"

>"She's so adamant about being a lesbian, which is a dead giveaway for a cover-up operation. The more they resist, the more evident it is that they are lying in order to gain access to that highly lauded Online Lesbian Following, which is something every straight woman wants deep down."

meanwhile:

>call gf

>"bad news. I just found out I'm actually straight."

[didalexiabreakupwitholgaisback]

nevermind the fact that i dont think alexia would ever cry wolf about an injury to avoid montse, especially when we all know she feels a responsibility to protect her younger teammates in the international set up

a 3 week spell on the sideline is not a fake injury, and i wish people would use some critical thinking skills! a fake injury is almost always phrased as 'discomfort' or something adjacent. i remember seeing a few players in the PL in the mid-2000s that didnt want to go to their international camps all have 'eye' injuries that were miraculously fine after 7-10 days

exactly! discomfort (molestias) is always the buzzword for the unexplainable (exhaustion, fatigue, pregnancy!, player just needs a break, etc.)

and alexia wouldn't shirk her duty to her teammates (oliva accords happened for a reason!) 😤

plus, it's super bad karma to lie about a fake injury, and having gone through what she did for the past two years, no way she would bring the evil eye on herself. she has too many tattoos of protection against that!

so the more crucial match to win will be against man city and it comes less than a week after the hammarby away leg (we already lead on head to head), so i would see a similar line-up as against st. pölten, with a fair bit of in game rotation. also, look at the number of passes we had, if we keep position and shut down any type of hammarby counter, we should be in a good position to win.

i think alexia can stay at home and doesn't need to travel to cold sweden. let her rest at home and recover and not pick up a cold or anything due to travel 🙏

amen! 🙏

[filurig]

– this whole - the dancing, singing, pole...raising. it is all rather ridiculous... 'midsummer'. i fail to... see the point of this human... invention. for once.

arvo's words were slurred, uneven - as if merely letting them past his lips was a great effort... this was, no doubt, influenced by the drink in his hand, resting on his stomach. folke, who had, in fact, brewed the alcohol that they were drinking, giggled - not exactly sober himself.

– i'm... the only human here, arvo. remember...

– no kraksi, or crakam, in sartrill, raises a huge, leafy pole for long summer days, that much i know.

– okay, haha - the pole thing... the pole thing is entirely human, probably. but... gullmar - tomtar, celebrate 'solvarvir' around the same time... trolls celebrate, uh... oh, curses, i'll butcher it... 'rawr - owa'... rawrr - oh wra? rawr... haha!

arvo opened one of his eyes slowly, fighting against some kind of weight that has, somehow, been set upon them - in order to look at the human beside him, still struggling to pronounce the foreign word correctly. a corner of the basilisk's lips twitched upwards.

– hm. nevermind what i said. there is a certain element of entertainment present, i suppose...

[meamiki]

[reverse entry AU]

so glad the work week is over!

no more meetings!

what do you mean its only tuesday.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

I FKN LOVE LAUGHING STOCK‼️ THEY MAKE ME GENUINELY HAPPY AND READING THE TAGS MAKES ME A GIGGLY BITCH CUZ THESE IDIOTS ARE SO FLUFFY AND KINGS OF THE MEGA GAY LORDS 😭

YAYAYAYAYAYAY YOU'RE SO RIGHT!!! FLUFFY MEGA GAY KINGS!!! have a warm-up scribble of them co-selling beans <3

[bluewlnteroses]

i just keep thinking about harley getting to know the truth about why peter is alone and finding out why people don't remember him and for a moment thinking he's glad he got to meet him after everything went down and immediately feel guilt and shame because its not fair peter went through so much pain and had to leave everyone he knew behind but,,,, just thinking about meeting each other before and getting to know peter and then completely forget him makes his feel sick

[ra-vio]

I've been chanting this like a spell

[lemongogo]

college … wasted on the youth (me)

[faaun]

procrastination is starting to have its consequences finally

[darkangel1791]

MALEC

is

Matthew Daddario as Alec Lightwood

Harry Shum Jr as Magnus Bane

Crazy Chemistry

and

All of their fans, 50% of which only watched Shadowhunters for them

[josecariohca]

.

[pleasegivejinlingabreak]

"jiang fengmian sending jiang cheng's dogs away was not such a big deal, jiang cheng was simply overreacti-

Stop, there. You've never had a dog, have you?

[pinguuu-ni]

hello guys <3 i've been absent for a looooong while but i want to know, how have you been doing?!

[suddencolds]

~

[dennisboobs]

historic event (to me)

[sambusa]

Hey, this is Taylor from a few years back. Sorry for the ask. I haven't used this app in a few years and forgot how to message lol. I was looking through my old account and saw yours was still up and running, and I just wanted to tell you thank you for the time you were my friend and how patient you were with me. You were a great friend and an even better influence. Hope you're doing good!

This was such a wonderful surprise... I have so many words and yet none at all. Thank you for being my friend, too, and for the kindness you showed me. I hope the future has treated you kindly 🥹🫶🏾