#(i don't talk about my crushes with my irl friends)
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I'll be so doomed the day I ever get a girl f/o
#pan rambles#I say doomed in like. a positive way. In a “I'd get way too flustered” way#I haven't really talked about it here because I don't feel like I owe it to people to talk about my attraction and the complexities of it#But I'll talk about it a bit bc I just need to ramble#I'm 99% I'm Aro. At the very least some flavor of it. I don't care about finding a specific label- I've spent many years stressing about it#And I don't really feel like spending even more years stressing about it#Despite being aro- I like the idea of being in a romantic relationship one day#Even if I know it'll probably never happen#Not only am I perfectly content with my QPR rn but also because I don't think most people would be open to the idea of dating an Aro#Which hey! Is completely fair! I know the love I feel is different than what I think most people feel#Though I'd argue that even if it's not exactly the same type- It's still plenty strong.When I love my friends it's a strong feeling#I'd do anything for my friends and I love them so much that I'd literally do anything to see them happy! The love I feel for them is strong#But it's not. Romantic y'know? Augh I'm getting distracted!#Back to my initial point!!! I can't tell if I like girls or not!#I'm not exactly in a safe place irl to try to experiment with those feelings so I've been pushing it aside for so long!#But I think there's definitely a chance I like girls in the same Aro™ way that I like guys!#I'm not gonna try to find a label for it because I don't want to label it but yeah#There's definitely a few crushes and f/os that I've headcanoned as Transfem before#But I've never romantically f/od a girl#Afksnfksnfkskd Ok yeah that's enough of Panchi rambling for tonight!#I just needed to let that out!#Thank you to anyone who listened to my Rambling about Attraction and stuff-
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i ruined my own friendships i acted out i had my own privacy invaded and in turn got called weird, had to learn how my own classmates disliked me and found me weird from a young age, got made fun of for being bisexual by this one kid, this one girl had it out for me, i was a weird kid but got i was so desperate i wanted something and then on the internet i felt as thought i was so special and mature being told and exposed to things i shouldn't have while everyone just watched and said nothing. no one did anything no one even considered to ask why a middle schooler, an 11 year old was engaging and acting in such manner.
#txt#i spoke about self harm i showed my irl friend my vent art i got my privacy invaded by some kids at school who saw my emo drawings and#collectively told me i was weird and they didnt like how depressing i was#i had to listen to a kid talk about how he wouldnt care if i was dead#i had to get outted to my brother (who yes. already knew but forgot and outted me to my mom for having a crush on a girl) and when i#cried about it everyone pitied me. then my principal came in and then no one returned back to me or gave me a second thought#no one actually cared for me#no one ever cared or saved me i don't know what the hell i did to deserve this#i don't know it hurts so bad#privacy invasion
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I think we should bring back basic etiquette lessons such as shutting the fuck up when you’re watching a movie in a group that is not exclusively your friend group 🙂
#welcome to another Mick Airs Out Their Grievances and by god is it a VERY long one#prob best if u don't expand the tags#am I being maybe a bit meaner about this than I would be for any other movie? maybe but pac rim is one of my favorite movies of all time#so I think I get a pass on this one.#one of the groups on campus is hosting movie nights & I went to this one bc I've only ever watched pac rim on my laptop and wanted to watch#it on a larger screen. yay yippee I love this movie!#there r maybe 10-ish of us in this room and a three person friend group is sitting on the couch one of whom has seen the movie and two who#have not. okay so far so normal.#and then the movie starts and they won't! stop! fucking! commentating! the whole fucking movie!!! I don't have a problem with doing that#when I'm in just my friend group because I know that I can tell my friend to stop talking or pause the movie or whatnot but not when I'm in#a large group w people I'm not good friends with ffs#and the comments aren't even funny or anything they're all oh this is JUST like in iron widow!! oh they're SO gay and autistic!!! and#they're talking so loud about this that it completely drowns out the movie audio which has already been turned up a few times#like. be considerate!! some of us want to yknow actually listen to what's going on and not whatever bullshit you're saying#I nearly walked out three or four times before I actually wound up doing so#I may have been a bit of a bitch at the end but I don't care. I got up to leave because this was not an enjoyable environment and one of#them offered to turn the movie down if it was too loud. this caught me a bit off guard since I expected them to still be so wrapped up in#their convo and. well. I may have said 'it's not the movie that's too loud' before closing the door#this also reminds me a lot about my issues with online shipping culture and it bleeding through into how we interact with media irl#this is probably heavily influenced by my aromanticism but I'm so sick of people constantly reading romantic relationships into everything#AND placing more importance on those relationships than any other form. I don't mind romance in media. I think if done right it has great#emotional impact on a story but when a movie is running and when other people who may not want to hear it are in the room watching it too#is not the time to be loudly saying 'he's autistic!' 'they're in love!' 'she has a crush on him!'#I have my own interpretations of the movie some of which agree with what they said and some of which don't but that's beside the point of#knowing how to coexist politely in public#anyway. I think they were awful and annoying and they ruined my night out.#I think I'm just so incredibly mad about this because I love the movie and I was looking forward to watching it in a group of people who#found it cool as well while still having some modicum of politeness#I almost wish I had been meaner but that's the extreme annoyance talking I think#hater hour over love u guys bye
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#I MEAN. I LIKE GIRLS. RIGHT. WHY DOES THIS FEEL SO WEIRD. I HAVE HAD ONE(1) CRUSH BEFORE AND THAT WAS A GUY.MAYBE BECAUSE OF THAT? BUT THEN#NOW WHENI THINK ABT IT WAS ONLY HOW HE LOOKED. ESPECIALLYY HIS EYES AND HE HAD VERY UHHH DRAWABLE FEATURES. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE#THINKING OF IT...I NEVER EVEN LIKE THOUGHT ABT CONFESSING OR DATING OR EVEN TALKING WITH HIM....I actively avoided even thinking about it#at that time i thought that was because in a way i was guilty of having those feelings for him considering we barely had interactedand it f#felt weirdly creepy thinking of osmeone that way without their knowledge(??)#now i still retain some of that sentiment but also...was i really romantically or sexually attracted to him at all?#when i see people and actors and characters online i do find them hot but irl...do I really want that sort of thing?#whenver i read stories of romance and close friendships too i aways want to have those in mmy life. but#like okay romance aside...even in friendships i.i just can't do them?#i like helping people and i o enjoy having casula conversations i like being nice to people too nut#but it. it feels sort of suffocating to be close to people emotionally?#i dnt know how to put it but there's always a limit after which it starts feeling weird. i want close strong bonds with people but ifeel so#uncomfortable when it starts happening.so many people around me love me in all different forms but o i really love them all back in the sam#intensity? I think I can only say that for my parents. my friends...i don't know.#do i really care about them asmuch as they care about me?#i do a lot of things...i say a lot of things that can only be said if i cared about the other person honestly and earnestly..#but. butto me it really feels like it isnt that deep#these ats of servic don't come from my heart nor my head#i just. do them because...i don't evenknow..that's just my response...i really dont think anything of it.#i don'tknw. this is all so stressful i wish icould just do whatever i ahve to do for a day interacting with peopel andleavingeverything beh#behind when icome home. but then it feelsso lonely but being around people also makes me feeluncomfortable when i try to establish bonds wi#them.#i don't knwo i wish i never gto close to them in first place.....life wouldve been so much easier
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Sometimes I wish I could just go up to my friends and be like "I watched this new show and this woman in it is so hot, I have a massive crush can we please talk about her and I show you a bunch of pictures of her to show you how hot she is???" but I'm a coward and weird about talking about emotions like that so I could never
#also my friends are never interested enough i feel#or not gay enough#well anyways#i still don't know why i'm like that#like being weird about talking about romantic stuff or sexuality that involves myself#cause i've never been shamed for it or anything#and none of my friends are homophobic#i'm just so awkward so i'd just rather not talk about it and only post about it online or just keep it for myself#like the one time i had a crush on a guy from my school i was so weird about it with my friends#where at first i didn't even know how to tell them#and then i also wanted to talk about him but i never knew hiw#*how#and idk it's weird#generally i'm irl a really awkward person and i don't really know how to maybe work on that#lea's random thoughts#btw this post is about agatha harkness she's so hot i wish i could just spam my friends with pictures of her
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the thing w having a shitty ex you weren't that attracted to is now you can't decipher whether you weren't attracted to HIM specifically, or if you aren't attracted to men period.
#personal#literally i had this exact conversation with my mom and one of her friends after i broke up with him#it's almost been three years and i still don't know.#(very surface level bc i didn't really want to get into All Of It with my mom and her friend)#but like. bisexual still feels right?? i remember having a really intense crush on one of my brother's friends in high school#so im inclined to think i just wasn't attracted to my ex#but ??? idk. things to think about.#ok sorry for oversharing on the internet#i don't really have anyone irl to talk to about this so.#<- needs to see a therapist
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idk how I'm supposed to do homework and function like a normal person when less than 24 hours ago my crush and I were holding hands and running through Times Square like we were in a best-friends-to-lovers cheesy romance movie
#crush#unrequited crush#unrequited love#best friends to lovers#friends to lovers#friends to best friends to lovers#the best romance tropes fr#(well‚ them and soulmate au)#i can't post this anywhere else because my irl friends follow me on all my other social media accounts but i need to scream this into the#void because i still can't believe it happened so now any random tumblr people who come across this get to hear it lol#(i don't talk about my crushes with my irl friends)#(because i only have like three close friends (including the aforementioned crush) and we're all in the same friend group and i don't#want word getting back to him lest he not like me back and i make our group awkward forever)#(also for anyone who may have seen other posts i've made on this blog this is my best friend who likes owl city)
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hi, shy anon again.
i think ill stick to these anon messages for now. you can keep that other one up. im just as ajdbsjabdh as you. ive never done something like this before, so im kinda…*hyperventilates and hides*…about it.
hello and good morning/timezone of your choice darling shy anon =^•w•^=
as long as you're okay with me publicly posting a response, then no worries at all for staying on anon asks—whatever you're comfortable with! it feels like the online equivalent of being left cute notes on my desk or smth by a secret person 🩷
#if it makes you feel any better#i used to have a major crush on my irl best friend when i was like 13#and i confessed by writing in his notes app while he sat next to me on the bus home + feeling like i was gonna pass out from nerves#and only let him read it when we parted at the bus station and he made his connection to go home 💀#so you're handling this well lmao don't worry about feeling awkward or shy#that's the fun part about anon asks tbh: low social stakes so you can chat without feeling like you're “exposing” yourself#anyways i am off to work stupidly early in the morning (it is 6:30am i am just sleepy and dramatic lol#talk to you soon! (hopefully? 🩷)#askkiel#anon.ask#shy anon
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mha boys as american high school teenage stereotypes
a/n this isn't an original idea, ik that, but this is just my take on it. also lowk just based off of ppl ik irl but also just really similar to the actual character. also these are really short n simple, my brain wasn't able to think any further
characters katsuki bakugou, shoto todoroki, izuku midoriya, eijiro kirishima, denki kaminari, hanta sero, tenya iida, hitoshi shinsho
masterlist
katsuki bakugou
not just saying this bc he's my fav
but quite literally the most popular person at school
like hes handsome, athletic, smart, rich, all of the above, no one could ever compare
everybody would have a crush on him (shit i would too)
or hate him
no in between
but he's still very intimidating so he doesn't have a lot of friends and has a heard time making em
not saying he's a playboy or anything
but definitely gets hella attention from girls
but he is more often than not uninterested
he would play football no doubt, run track/shot put during his off season to stay fit
not a douchebag but he totally comes off as one
shoto todoroki
he's the loser, the loner
actually jk, bc i really don't believe anyone is a loner
theres gotta be someone he talks too
hes that smart kid whos schedule is filled w ap n honors classes
and his only friends would be classmates that hes not super close w so they never talk outside of school (me lol)
hes rich rich
def plays tennis or golf, school and club
he's THE hallway crush
especially for like underclassmen
he just gives off that mysterious vibe that makes girls fall for him
not to mention he is sooooo pretty
like it's not a secret that he is attractive
but he's never had a gf or even a situationship in his life
idek
izuku midoriya
teachers pet 100% lol
not the smartest but also not dumb
like definitely top 20% of his class
i feel like he would take part in a lot of extracurriculars
he's not popular at all
but has a small group of close friends
so so sassy
like imagine arguing w him about a random subject
and you just start to piss him off
he just puts you on blast and starts embarrassing the hell out of you
making you feel hella stupid
he doesn't do it to be mean or anything
he's just a sassy lil guy idk
sassy man apocalypse!!
eijiro kirishima
social butterfly
friends with everyone
but not like a floater friend
but literally just everyones friend
like he's so genuine and is able to get along with everybody
sooo loyal
always has the best advice
definition of boyfriend material!!!
probably has had a long term gf
he takes his relationships n friendhsips so seriously
definitely plays multiple sports
idk i see him as a wrestler or even like gymnastics lol
lowk imagine him apart of the schools student council or leadership club
fully goes out for football games/friday night lights
denki kaminari
class clown fs
also lowk rlly flirty but has never had a gf or even come close
like such a ladies man
thats just part of his personality
most of his friends are girls but not in a weird way
he's the life of the party
lowk one of the only characters i can see myself having a smoke sesh w lol
big party goer
theres a house party being thrown
best believe he's there
he's not the brightest of the bunch
but he does try, its not like hes lazy
he's also so pretty
deff one of those guys w the longest eyelashes than any girl lol
lowk tennis player!denki?
also sorta see him as a swimmer/waterpolo
hanta sero
he is just so friendly
lowk a npc
but i still love him
he's so laid back and chill and has such a relaxed personality
like if you'd ever need to just have a calm night/hang out with one of your friends, he's the first person youd call
has had mulitple gfs, but def not a player
they just never seem to workout
would start a bs club with his friends so every other week they could just order a couple pizzas to school and hang out in the chill teachers class
idk i feel like hes kinda artsy
like he took art 1 his freshman year just for an easy a and schedule requirements, but he realized he was actually kinda creative
likes to doodle in class rather than pay attention now
lowk plays basketball
big car guy!!
tenya iida
THE honor student
number 1 in his class
5.0 gpa
student council persident all 4 years of high school
friend group is made up of all the other nerds who take 10+ ap classes
definitely got into multiple colleges before even applying
definitely not just saying this because of his quirk, but would lowk do track n xc
everything ive said so far i legit just his normal self😭😭😭 lemme try to get more specific
lowk imagine an iida where like outside of school he's lowk a partier
like imagine him getting blackout drunk every weekend but sobering up for school every week
and still being the best student in his grade
he's just so handsome
multiple girls have liked him but he's rejected them due to wanting to have his life set in place before thinking about romance
hitoshi shinso
he's so fucking emo just look at him
ok well not emo but just a little alternative
but yk in an american high school being a little alt means other people see you as full out gothic
so what if he's just a little quiet and brooding☹️☹️
again he's also smart
but he doesn't take all those honor classes
he wouldn't admit it but his favorite genre to watch is reality tv
best believe he was fully invested in season 6 of love island
#ppgbackontop
not an athletic guy
but was definitely forced to like play soccer or sum as a kid
works at your local comic/record store
all the emo girls that come in have a crush on him
thats all i got😫
#my hero acedamia#my hero academia#mha#shoto todoroki#shoto todoroki x reader#todoroki x reader#izuku midoriya#izuku midoriya x reader#deku x reader#eijiro kirishima#eijiro kirishima x reader#kirishima x reader#denki kaminari#denki kaminari x reader#denki x reader#hanta sero#hanta sero x reader#sero x reader#tenya iida#tenya iida x reader#iida x reader#hitoshi shinsou#hitoshi shinso x reader#shinsou x reader#bakugou katsuki#bakugou katuski x reader#bakugou x you#bakugou x reader#katsuki bakugo x reader#mha x reader
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The Archive of Smite
This page belongs to the writer named Smite. He wrote fics starting in September of 2021 up until April 2024. In these 2,5 years, over 8.000 people followed him to read some of the craziest k-pop girl group smut out there. Almost 150 stories of sex in all kinds of positions, for many reasons, all over the world (and in outerspace), with too many kinks to count.
"When I started, I kinda wanted to become the best. I wanted my favorite writers at the time - Levi, Peach, Sins, and many more - to know that I could write as good as they can. I wanted to go wilder and crazier."
Smite, though ambitious, was also stupid and naive. At roughly the same time he started writing, two other community legends began their careers. IZ and Kaede crushed everything in their sight, especially the former becoming an absolute legend.
"Writing was fun. At times, it was escapism from everyday worries. At other times, it was fulfillment of fantasies I could never reach. Mostly though, it was just horny. BFH that just became words. If you go through my Masterlist, you might see which idols had some random heights or were just... Always on my hot list."
Smite never really stopped writing, not for long stretches that is. It didn't really occur to him that there might be a sudden, drastic reason to stop. He considered doing so anyways. Something about writing porn about irl people without them knowing or wanting - needless to say, it is an odd hobby. Nevertheless, he enjoyed it amd the community it brought with it.
"I fucking love these guys. So many hilarious peoplefrom all over the world. One became like my best friend, a rock during my emotional struggles. Another was my boyfriend for a short time. Man, I screwed up with him kekw. There are too many to mention. I've had long talks with some, others just came by and listened to me mald or something. I love you all, some of you I consider true friends - part of my soul - and I feel connected, even if you are thousands of miles away."
2024 started stressful for Smite. The pressure of Uni started to collapse on him. Even the thought of big kpop concerts wasn't enough to cheer him up. Luckily though, there was this girl. Sweet, kind, caring and in the same position. Soon, he had found something that seemed impossible. She was in love with him and he in love with her. And when everything unraveled.
"I stopped writing. I burried my drafts. I finished only one story and released it way later. I'm sorry I didn't announce it properly, but I just felt that this smut writing career was over. I don't regret it - I gained something beautiful I want to keep for the rest of my life. She is at least as pretty as Minju, so I call that the biggest win imaginable lol."
So no more smuts from Smite?
"99% no"
No more fanfictions/girl group stories in general?
"Eh, 80% no. Still some unfinished angst that I would love y'all to read tho"
Will you ever reach those 150 fics?
"We will see. In this count there are fics with less than 1000 words. I might just sneeze and finish it kekw"
Any fic you regret not writing?
"Not really? Maybe a proper ending for Starship: Horizon? Or yet another Minju fic? Futa stuff? Gaeul angst x female reader? Or how about a fic with 69 different idols at once? Who but me would dare to write something so stupid?"
Do you think you reached your initial goal?
"Do I consider myself the GOAT? No. That title belongs to either Peach, Levi or IZ. But I know that of my now 8.700 followers some consider me their favorite writer. I'm flattered and thank you very much for reading amd enjoying my work."
Now for the most important question: does this post mean you are finally leaving the community behind for good? Is this your last hoorah?
"..."
"Never."
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can you write sounding with one of the yan boys or ignoring them because of something?
GIVING SUPERFAN! AND STALKER! YANDERE BOYS THE COLD SHOULDER
warnings: obsessiveness, sfw, some slight su!c!de references, bayani is basically a servant and victor needs a therapist, just overall unhealthy behavior cuz they're yanderes. (i do not condone yanderes irl and this is for writing purposes) gender neutral reader, no use of y/n.
a/n: hey guys i just found out my best friend might be dating my ex bf (that made me hide in my house for a year) which is funny bc he told me "not to worry about her" while we were dating. and my birthday is in 2 hours so it's quite an unfortunate time to find out that they've apparently been dating for a few months. if it's true, then whatever LMFAOOO now she's gotta deal with him and it ain't my problem. also thanks for 1k followers, you guys are awesome!! sorry for not updating much, i just don't have a lot of motivation these days
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if you ignored bayani...
bro do you *want* him to jump off a cliff???
he is panicking. he is having a CRISIS
bayani lives to please you. if he's talking to you and you just ignored him for whatever reason, he would be heartbroken. absolutely crushed.
he would attempt to ask what's wrong, and fix it as soon as possible. as much as he enjoys being mistreated by you, he'd hate for you to be upset with him for an extended period of time.
his first instinct is to fix whatever he did wrong. he would automatically blame himself, even if it wasn't actually his fault.
he always seeks your love and validation. if you were to ignore him, he would literally sink into the floor and die.
if you forgive him and stop ignoring him, he would be overjoyed. and he'd be less clingy, and a lot more careful around you. he wouldn't want you to get mad at him ever again. that would be his worst nightmare. if you want him to return to his old self, let him know he can be clingy again. if you don't, he'll remain cautious around you for the rest of his life. he just wants you to be happy with him. he can hold himself back from showing too much affection if it means you'll approve of him.
if you ignored victor...
yeah no he's not having it lmao
he'd be so butthurt. and unlike bayani, victor would be very annoying and start hanging around you more. usually he lets you do the talking, or follows you around from a far distance. but if you started ignoring him, he'd become more talkative just to piss you off.
he hates being ordered around, so he's not gonna let you stop him from interacting with you. he's gonna keep talking to you and hanging around you no matter what.
it'd take about a week for him to get agitated. he'd wonder what he did wrong, and try to ignore his insecurities by pushing them on you. instead of drowning in his sorrow, he'd turn it into anger and blame you. you're the one being unreasonable, he did nothing wrong. of course he doesn't believe that, but that's what he would convince himself. he would rather take his anger out on you, the love of his life, rather than admit how unhappy he is with himself and how he treats others.
he'd find ways to punish you for your behavior. as much as he loves you, he won't accept any disrespect. he takes it as a huge blow to his (very fragile) ego.
BUT if you gave up and started talking to him again, he'd get a huge ego boost. of course you'd talk to him again, he's just irresistible! this was totally expected... even though he was crying in his bedroom every night wondering why you weren't talking to him and got very insecure, wondering what he did to make you mad at him. would he ever confess this, though? nope.
he's too prideful to admit that he missed your voice and attention, but he'd show how sorry he is by helping you with chores and work. if you bring it up, he'll say something along the lines of: "i'm not doing this because i'm sorry... i just think you weren't doing it right. i know how to do it better."
this insecure and bratty ass man child would rather sit naked on a hot grill than verbally say sorry lmao
#yandere x reader#yandere imagines#yandere#yandere boys x popstar reader#male yandere x reader#soft yandere#sub yandere#yandere headcanons#yandere oc#male yandere#oc x reader#yandere boy#yandere oc x reader#yandere oneshot#yandere bf#obsessive yandere#my ocs#masochist yandere
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MCYT ; they have a very obvious crush on you
includes ; tommyinnit, ranboo, badlinu, & quackity
warnings ; language
y/s/n = your ship name
masterlist
TOMMYINNIT
constantly donates / talks through tts when you're streaming alone
TommyInnit donated $10!
"Tommy, stop giving me money, just use TTS"
only uses tts when you tell him to each and every time, it's routine
if he's streaming when you compliment him, chat always points out his red face to both of you
"shut up chat! I'm not blushing. you guys suck"
after a while he gets invested in the shipping
"if I open wattpad and don't see three new y/s/n fics I'm gonna lose my shit, guys"
"Tommy, Tommy, check ao3"
"I found one and it actually looks good!"
reading fanfics on stream (with permission of course and being light on the jokes and whatnot)
you and Tommy make your own fanfic too
he gets your friends to read it on their streams too 💀💀💀
literally every bit he writes is something he wants to do with you
such a hopeless romantic
RANBOO
always doing you favors
never saying no to you
"yes sir/maam!"
always donos on your streams while speed running or playing horror games to tell you good luck
it rlly isn't a stream wo one of their donos istg
chat always asking where he is during one of said streams
editors go CRAZY with the misfits vlogs & tom simons vlogs with you two in them
the chemistry???
you react to / watch each sorry boys episode on stream when they come out
editors go crazy with your compliments to ranboo
they do too 😭😭
giggling and kicking their feet cause they're so funny to you
he's literally head over heels bruh
gives u free merch and stuff
FREDDIE BADLINU
he's usually nice/full of compliments but he's so extra with you
claims it's for the bit
lets you dye his hair
ylyl streams with him constantly LMAO
he wrote your name on his bi flag for some reason??? when you ask about it he just says "why not?" and you shrug it off
always helping you pick out clothes and shit when thrifting/shopping
always has to find a pair of sunglasses for you I swear
constantly asks his viewers to edit you guys
it's become a part of your relationship where he clearly has a crush on you but you can't tell if it's for the bit or if he's serious so you never say anything
the tom simons vlogs w you guys go hard
especially the ylyl irl with ran, tommy, charlie, james, and billzo
same with the ylyl american version w jack, tommy, james, harry, etc
editors and fanfic writers have field days with those
just straight up making out as "friends" for the bit????
even Tommy is confused and he's been supporting Freddie through the dumb shit he's been doing
supports the fanfics
he honestly reads them
if you catch him doing so he says he's just interested and he might read it on stream for funnies
QUACKITY
"accidently" sends you free merch nearly every drop
qsmp streams are never complete without you guys flirting or going on a date
basically old karlnapity but you guys on the qsmp
qsmp y/s/n streams go so hard, they're literally the best
cellbit, roier, and jaiden officiating your fake wedding
qsmp y/s/n edits and fanart went crazy
youre like "guys no fanfics or edits of y/s/n, only if hes comfortable with it, I don't want you guys to weird him out"
and hes begging people to make the fanfics, the fanart, the everything
daily tweets of "guys send me more y/s/n fanart" or "any good y/s/n fanfic recommendations??"
cellbit always replies to those tweets with some long ass dictionary ass response to fuck with you two
fitmc of all people makes you guys a little tumblr oneshot.
#lowkeyrobin#mcyt preferences#tommyinnit x reader#mcyt x reader#quackity x reader#ranboo x reader#badlinu x reader#mcyt oneshot#tommyinnit#qsmp#osmp
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Nightmares
Male Yandere x Reader
Hi everyone!! This my first ever time posting my writing on here, so I'm a little nervous- English isn't my first language so sorry if there are some grammar/spelling mistakes or anything like that 😭 Please know that I don't support any kind of "yandere" behaviour irl and if you have any person like that in your life, make sure to distance yourself from them and stay safe 🙏 I tried not to romanticise the yandere-ish in this either so I hope it doesn't come off that way.
WARNINGS‼️: Yandere behaviour, cursing, abuse, needles, mentions of panic attacks, drugs, kidnapping, manipulation, noncon touching/kissing (nothing nsfw), blood, biting, knives, death
Four years. It had been exactly four years ever since you managed to escape the hellhole that was your abusive boyfriend's apartment. Four years since you left Japan too; as you wanted to make sure he'd never find you again. Now you lived in London as a librarian, in a small run-of-the-mill apartment all by yourself. It was a quiet life; but you liked it that way. You had to change your name to make sure he couldn't get to you, and thus you couldn't have much contact with your family and friends still in Japan. It hurt you, knowing that you were so far apart from them, but it was much better than being stuck in that place with no way out.
Of course; it had started out like any other relationship. You were both in university; he was a business major and quite popular, as his parents owned a well known company which he was bound to inherit. But his riches weren't the only thing that made him popular. He was also known for being very charismatic with a large social circle, having near flawless grades and (amongst the female school body, mainly) being fairly handsome on top of all that too. You'd be a liar to say you didn't have a bit of a crush on him at first too; but it was very similar to a celebrity crush. He was unobtainable and you had created an ideal version of him in your head; so you could fantasize yourself going on a date with him or some other crush of yours from time to time for the funsies. You thought that would be all he'd ever be to you; but boy were you wrong.
Surprisingly, you met at a house party. The host was a friend of a friend; and you were basically convinced to go by your friend group despite being hesitant. It turned out that, just as you suspected, the party wasn't really your vibe; but your friends were having fun. So you decided to go hangout in the backyard by yourself until another friend of yours had to go, so you didn't feel awkward being the first in the friend group to leave. Surprise surprise, he was there too. You two ended up striking conversation; and he sheepishly confessed that he didn't really like the party either, but had to stay because the "friend of a friend" was actually a close friend of his. So you pretty much spent the entire party talking with eachother; and the ideal version you had made up of him in your mind was gone by the time it was over. Not in a bad way. You guys had a lot of things in common after all; and he also had his flaws, just like you. He was no longer the popular mr.perfect guy you thought he was; and it was rather attractive.
You became friends; and your friendship soon blossomed into much more. He was a good boyfriend at the start. Dates, flowers, heartfelt conversations, mutual love and respect. You know, all the very basic factors of any healthy, loving relationship. Within a year into the relationship, though, things began to...change for the worst. He'd grow paranoid whenever you went out with friends without him; he kept pestering you about moving in with him even though you weren't ready for something like that yet.... You had mentioned multiple times in the past that you were skeptical about marriage, kids, all that mambo jambo. Still, he'd often bring up how he wanted to get married and have a family with you. It was kinda sweet, at first. You understood that it came from a place of love; but the affection smothering and how controlling he was slowly becoming grew far too much.
The straw that broke the camel's back? He proposed. On your "a year and a half anniversary" date, he got down on one knee and proposed. You were very taken aback; and the fact he wanted to marry you and start a whole life with you was again very touching in theory, but not so much when all the times you two had this very conversation came in mind. All the times you expressed how you weren't sure and needed more time; and he seemingly understood and accepted that just to pull something like this on your anniversary. You explained your side, yet again, and he wasn't pleased. An argument broke out; and it got bad. By the end, you told him that if what you both wanted didn't match up; this wouldn't work. You tried walking out. Again, he wasn't pleased.
And what did he do? Oh, just smashed a bottle of wine on the back of your head.
It was a miracle you didn't die; but you did pass out. And what followed after was the most hellish year of your life. Your dear boyfriend turned kidnapper basically lied to every single person in your life; saying you had decided to drop out of uni to move in with him and start a family. And because his family was very influential, with many connections, and also because he had such a prestige reputation, no one batted an eye. Your family did, of course; they knew you best. But why would such a kindhearted, hardworking honour student from a good family ever lie?
He spent a year trying to brainwash you into giving in; brainwashing you into giving him the perfect life he wanted, with a stay-at-home partner and children and everything, not allowing you to get out of the apartment or as much as breathe without him supervising. Nevermind that you were screaming your lungs out, begging him to let you go home and reminding him how much of a monster he was despite the gentleman-like façade he'd put not only in front of others, but also in front of you.
Eventually, after many failed attempts, you managed to bust the cameras in his apartment and pick the lock while he was out. You stole just enough money to get you an one way ticket to whatever place was available and also got back your phone; only being able to part with your friends and family via text messages and calls. Going to the police was out of the question. Why? Cause you had tried that in the past; and it didn't end well for you. The police weren't going to help; the only one who could protect you was yourself.
You didn't like thinking about it; the year you had spent in his apartment. Your therapist had advised you to stop living in the past and focus on the present; but it was so hard to try and put all that trauma behind you. Everytime you had to go outside you'd always look over your back; afraid you'd see him again. Afraid he'd somehow find you and make you pay for leaving him before dragging you right back. Sometimes you'd even think you caught glimpse of him across the street; causing you to have a mini panic attack. It was never fun. You hated it. You hated the fact that even though you managed to escape him; it felt like he came along with you.
Nevertheless, you tried to continue living. You met new people at the library, became friends with a sweet old lady from your apartment building, even started writing your very own book as a hobby, which you always wanted! You were doing well for yourself. You were slowly able to pick the pieces that had broken off of you; and you were proud of it. You were proud of managing to wake up everyday, making sure to eat, get to work, go through the work day- and reach the end of said workday. Just like you did today.
Work had ended for today. You said goodbye to your co-workers and began working home; fantasising about crashing onto your couch and staying there for the rest of the evening. It had been quite the tiring day and all you wanted to do was just get home, put on a random TV channel and maybe take a nap. Eventually, you reached your apartment complex. You lived on the first floor; so thankfully you didn't have to climb any stairs. Soon, you were standing right outside your front door. Your hands reached into your shoulder bag and pulled out your house key, inserting it into the keyhole in order to unlock the door.
However, the door was already unlocked.
Your blood immediately went cold; hand still on the key as you stared at the door with wide eyes. There was no way it could be him, right? If he hadn't found you in four years now, what could possibly lead him to you? Your heart began racing; breathing already getting heavy. You were panting, you just realised. You could hear your own heartbeat echo in your ears. Were you on the verge of another panic attack? Closing your eyes tight, you tried to take a deep breath and compose yourself; focusing on your environment instead of your ever growing panic, as your therapist had instructed you to do at moments like this one. The way the handle's metal felt cold against your grip, bird chirping from a nearby window, the sound of the elevator going down; most likely for the old lady you had befriended, as this was the time she'd usually get home from feeding the stray dogs in the neighborhood. She was so sweet.
Let's think rationally: you were far away from Japan, you had changed your name as well as your appearance (as much as you could force yourself to) and you had managed to maintain this quiet life of yours for four whole years. In those four years; you had received no calls or messages from him either, because you of course also had to change your number, email and delete any social media you had just to be sure. All that being said; the door was open when it was not supposed to- and then it hit you; did you actually lock the door this morning? Even though you were extremely paranoid; there had been an instance or two of you forgetting to lock the door before leaving for work, usually when you were feeling extra tired or stressed. Even four years later; sleeping didn't come easy to you. You started having sleep paralysis quite often, but instead of feeling like someone was pushing onto your chest hard, there was the suffocating sensation of his hands wrapped around your waist so tight that you'd think your organs would pop out any second.
Admitting that you're a complete idiot isn't easy; but you'd take it any day over the possibly of him somehow having gotten into your apartment. So, with the mentality of a broke middle aged man taking the risk of one last gamble in order to hit the jackpot, you decided to put your fears aside and push the door forward so you could get home.
Because, guess what? You were so sick of this.
Sick of living in fear, of having panic attacks every other day and jumping like a terrified kitten whenever you see a man who slightly resembles him pass by you. Sick of not being able to close your eyes every night because instead of the back of your eyelids, all you see is each and every time he'd touch you like he owned you.
And now that he didn't 'own you' any longer, your trauma did. And he was technically the personification of your trauma. He still owned you.
Fuck him. Fuck this. All of this. You just wanted to lay down and sleep like a normal person. Talk to your friends like a normal person. Sometimes you'd forget that you were actually that: normal and a person, since he had spent an entire year making you think otherwise. So no; you weren't going to let your fear control you and remain standing outside your apartment after an exhausting work day. You weren't going to deprive yourself of the basic right and necessities everyone else had.
You were now inside the apartment. Your small, cluttered apartment that had only one bedroom; a bathroom that could only fit a shower rather than a bathtub and a living room that was connected to the kitchen, all in the very same space. You immediately took off your shoes, locked the door behind you and hung your shoulder bag on one of the two chairs you had at the kitchen table before basically collapsing onto the couch, not caring to change into something more comfortable just yet. Your clothes weren't all that uncomfortable, actually. You didn't have much energy this morning; so you had worn a more casual, comfy outfit, not putting much thought into it. It was an outfit that you could easily sleep in no problem; which you started to realise when you began feeling yourself already drifting to sleep. Deep inside, you knew that there were other things that probably had priority; like taking a shower or making dinner but....did they really? You could do all that after taking a nap. You hadn't been able to sleep a full eight hours without waking up every hour or so for awhile now anyway. The moment you wake up, you'd get to all those important tasks that were needed for you to continue functioning- but it had been the first time that sleep sought you out rather than you taking sleep medication in weeks, and you weren't going to waste such a rare act of mercy by your system. Within a few minutes, you were out like a light.
“Look at you, all curled up in the couch....Is it that much better than the king sized bed we'd share?”
A voice called out to you. You couldn't make whose voice, however. You were still pretty much out of it; half asleep. You didn't even know what day it was, much less where or who that voice came from.
“Oh, you must be sleepy. These eyebags on your pretty face tell me enough; you haven't slept properly in awhile, hm?” the voice questioned, and you swore you could feel something hot blow against your ear before it spoke again, this time closer. But also ice cold in terms of tone. “Guess what? Neither have I, not without you in my arms.”
Oh. Oh. You knew who this voice belonged to. You might've been still asleep practically; but it was like an alarm had gone off in your head, like some natural instinct telling you a predator was nearby and you shouldn't be sleeping right now. It wasn't the first time you had felt like this, though. You'd have this feeling whenever you'd randomly feel like you're being watched, whenever you'd see an unknown number call you, whenever you were all by yourself. You had grown too used to this feeling. You'd respond to it everytime, jumping up and looking around frantically with yet another panic attack waiting for you just around the corner. This feeling had been ruining every waking moment from your life ever since you managed to free yourself; and this feeling was about to absolutely demolish the amazing nap you've been having so far. The nap that you've been needing for months, week, years now.
Not this time. You knew what was going on. You were most likely about to star in the psychological thriller of a dream every single one of your night terrors were. But you wouldn't play along, again, this time. You didn't budge, even with someone's breath right next to your ear. The only thing you did was turn in your sleep, now facing the back of the couch.
“Poor thing..... I told you all about this, did I not? The outside world is full of stress. It sucks the life out of you, it makes you miserable. Just look at what you got yourself into without me; all alone in some foreign country, working yourself to the bone and living in this cockroach infested, century old apartment.” it continued to whisper condescendingly; dripping with fake sympathy. It was truly a wonder how your brain could remember every single one of his patterns in the way he spoke and put you down. His words, despite being absolutely just part of your nightmare, didn't fail to make your heart swell up with the feeling of inferiority and uselessness.
But a second later you couldn't feel his breath on your skin any longer; and you assumed this nightmare was going to progress further differently or you'd just wake up.
“You see, when I came home that day and couldn't find you anywhere I went through such a rollercoaster of emotions,” Ah. Seems like the fact nightmare him had pulled away didn't stop his voice from going on and on. Wonderful. “I was devastated and panicked and frantic- I looked everywhere for you. But I think that the main emotion that has been stirring me for the past four years is anger.” It breathed out, “At first it was all directed at you. The fact that you just left me like that after everything I did for you, all the love I showed you... Did you think that whenever I'd tell you how I couldn't breathe without you near me, I was just trying to be romantic?” scoffed his voice. “I haven't been breathing, actually. It doesn't feel like breathing anymore. It feels like something hallow and bitter comes out of me; like pitch black smoke. You poisoned me the day you left.”
Of course the blame's on you. It always was, no matter what would happen between you two. When he'd cuff you to the bed to the point that you'd almost lose circulation in both wrists, it was your fault for staring at the front door for too long. When he'd shove food down your throat, since declining food was the only form of protest you could pull off sometimes, it was your fault for not wanting to be fed by your kidnapper.
“But I forgive you,”
How generous of him.
“I forgive you because you're the only person who's ever loved me. And the only person I've ever managed to love. You might've poisoned me, my love, but you're also the only antidote.”
You couldn't deny, that even if it was just another stupid nightmare, it brought shivers down your spine. This wasn't the first time you had seen him in your sleep, but this was the first time your mind had crafted such an accurate depiction of him and that was much scarier than the more violent nightmares you've been having. You wanted to rest so bad; but it wasn't worth going through this. And you were feeling a little hungry anyway. Sure, you wouldn't be able to nap again for like a week, but it was a necessary sacrifice if it meant not having to listen to his voice playing over and over again in your head like a broken record.
Instinctively, you turned around to sit up, but before you could get to the sitting up part you felt a hand cup your cheek and your body went frozen on impact, not daring to move a muscle. A very familiar cologne then reached your nostrils; and you were one hundred percent sure of whose cologne it was. Just like how you were one hundred percent sure about who the voice that had been tormenting you for these past few minutes belonged to. You knew it was him; but you tricked yourself into believing that it was just a nightmare. But it had to be a nightmare, right? How could he possibly find you after four years- how could he possibly know you fled to London? You had envisioned this very scenario in your head countless times on restless nights, thinking of every possibility and every single detail so you'd be ready if it ever were to happen; but now you remained stuck in the face of danger.
You didn't want to open your eyes; but you were trembling. He could tell you were awake. And you could tell that he could tell; as you could've sworn you heard his lips forming into a twisted smirk. With his right left hand still cupping your cheek; he leaned closer again and wiped away the tears you hadn't realised were forming in your eyes before starting to rub supposedly soothing circles into your back. “Aw....there's no need to cry, everything will be fine now that we'll be together again. I might've been angry at you for leaving; but now I'm more angry at myself. Angry that I couldn't keep you with me. This time, things will be different.”
His hand finally left your back, and even though your eyes were still shut; you heard his footsteps. He had went to get something, and without a second thought, you stood up; only for him to quickly push you back to the couch. That's when your eyes opened and finally met his own, four years later. But your eyes didn't focus on his facial features. They didn't care to observe whether he had changed or not, the way he looked at you; or if he too had the very same sagging eyebags as you did. All your eyes saw was a monster. A terrifying creature made of all your fear, anxiety- a sight that brought you terror and a nausea inducing sensation in your stomach. What you were looking at didn't feel human, this situation didn't feel real, the line between nightmare and reality had been blurred. There had been instances in the past where you'd pity him somewhat; reminding yourself that he was too a person and the reason he was this way was because he had been damaged from a very young age, gone through terrible things that molded him into what he is today. He had told you all about it himself.
But right now; all you saw before you was a boogieman. And like the scared child you always had been deep inside; you could do nothing but let out a blood curling scream.
“Sssh! Quiet-” He hushed you, forcibly putting his hand over your mouth, “...Still a screamer. Some things never change. Adorable.” he chuckled, in such a disgustingly lovey-dovey way. It felt like he was being genuine; like he truly does find it cute. As if there truly was some absurd form of love behind his words. And honestly? It made them all the more repulsive. It made you want to gag; but gagging wouldn't help, so you did the next best thing. You bit down on his hand as hard as your teeth allowed you and he hissed in pain; but didn't pull away. In fact, he backed you even further into the couch, seemingly searching for something in his pocket with the hand you weren't currently sinking your teeth into. When he found it; he plunged it into your neck with zero hesitation.
For a second, you thought it was a knife. His own way of making sure you'd never leave him, you reckoned, because how could you ever attempt to run from him if you were dead? He had always been a narcissist after all, something you realised a little too late into your relationship back when you guys were still in one. You wouldn't put the possibility of him wanting to be the very last thing you see before you die above him. The satisfaction of knowing you died in his arms; and that you'd never speak to anyone else ever again (including him, but you doubted he cared anymore), as your vocal cords wouldn't be able to work as a decaying corpse; with no beating heart to pump blood into you.
Until he took the unknown object out of your neck; bringing it into your viewpoint. It wasn't a pocket knife or scissors or anything like that. It was a syringe. A syringe that was definitely filled with something which is currently entering your bloodstream. And you knew what that something was; because you remembered him doing the very same thing multiple times before in your sole year of captivity, whenever you'd fight him for far too long and his patience would run thin.
A syringe pumped with drugs to put you to sleep; as well as keep you all docile and rag-doll-ish for a couple of hours.
“It's okay. Go back to sleep, sweetheart. It's just a nightmare, shh.....” He murmured; removing his wounded hand from your mouth and pressing a light kiss on your half-open lips. You didn't know whether his words were mockery or a genuine attempt at comforting you; but neither would make you hate him any more or less.
Still, in that moment, you chose to believe him. You chose to believe that this was truly all a nightmare; you'd wake up at your couch, go make some food, watch some TV and continue your quiet life. It was definitely better than accepting it was about to become a living nightmare all over again.
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Thank you for reading!! Feel free to ask me whatever you want or give me feedback on my writing, I'm open to all feedback cause I do genuinely wanna get better <3 Have a great day/night 🩷🩷
Word Count: 4,219 (I think!!)
#yandere x reader#yandere#yandere x you#yandere x darling#yandere x y/n#yandere x female reader#yandere x male reader#yandere x gn reader#writing#first post#horror#horror writing#yandere writing
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my sp story <3
hi besties! if you've been following my blog for a while you know that i've been single for a while, partly because i like to be independent and single, and partly because i just didn't like anyone. obviously i could just manifest a guy out of thin air, but when im not confronted face to face with a crush then i just don't care about being in a relationship so i never manifested someone out of thin air lol
but then a couple of weeks ago i was at the movies with my friends, and there were couples cuddling around us and i was like "aw :( kinda wish i had a bf now." and what do we do when we feel any type of desire? we immediately fulfill ourselves, no matter how "small" the desire is! so that's what i did. i imagined for like two seconds that i was cuddling with a boy at the theaters, and then i got distracted by the movie and forgot all about it
then like 15 minutes later, a guy that i'd had a crush on four years ago randomly slid into my dms. i never pursued him four years ago bc my bff at the time had dibs on him, but we're not friends anym and haven't been for years so it was my time to shine!!!
anyway, we talk for like a week. i know this guy is funny and shit bc of when we hung out irl, but like all he's sending me are unfunny memes that don't really warrant a response. so it was kinda tough
and this is the part where you guys are going to yell at me!!! i was like oh i should use my manifestation skills and make sure this goes smoothly....but then i was like nah im just gonna go with the flow 😭😭😭 and i know you guys are like REM!!!! u manifest EVERYTHING u can't just turn it off!!!! anyway.....long story short a week into us talking this mf randomly blocks me!!!!
so im instantly like 🙄🙄 damn fine i'll manifest him back bc im stubborn and do not like being told no in my reality
so how did i do it? how did i manifest him back?
if you guys have followed me for a while, you know that i manifested an sp a couple years ago by simply affirming "i love [his name] so much" any time i'd think of him and this would conjure the feeling of the wish fulfilled. (NOT mindless affirming. i'd say it maybe two or three times to catch the feeling and then move on)
ANYWAY so that's what i did! and let me tell you....i was not "perfect" by any means 😭 in fact this manifestation really kinda opened my eyes on how EASY manifestation truly is. like i already knew how easy it was, but damn!
if you know that your desire is promised and that it is coming because you gave it to yourself in imagination (even ONCE) ... there is NOTHING that will stop it. i was gonna make a separate post on this and i tried but i just couldn't articulate it correctly so im going to try again:
it took 12 days to manifest him to unblock me and message me. im sure it would've taken a shorter amount of time if i was more disciplined with myself but it's kinda crazy bc of how UNdisciplined i was 😭 tbh i was just kinda like...unsure if i even wanted to manifest him at all bc thats how much i value my alone time and my independence lol
anyway, i always get asks from people who are stressed and anxious bc they think that in order to manifest your desire, you can never enter the state of lack ever again and that dwelling in negative thoughts will "ruin" your manifestations. but i am here to tell you IT DOES NOT MATTER!!! you do not need to be "perfect"!!!! as long as you are staying faithful to the idea that you have your desire in the 4d, it'll manifest in the 3d.
another thing i see so many people confused and stressed about is whether or not they're naturally thinking from the state. for instance, every time you think of your sp, you think from the end of being in a relationship with them, before you think of the fact that you're not together yet. and let me tell you....while this CAN happen, it's not always gonna happen and it's not necessary. let me tell you, the DAY before my sp reached out, and even the day that he did....i would catch myself thinking about how we weren't together! but the gag is....YOUR THOUGHTS DON'T MANIFEST!!!! yes, they indicate what state you're in, but the actual thoughts themselves don't mean shit!!! they don't manifest. they just don't!
so i'd shift back to the state of being my sp's girlfriend when i'd have these thoughts, but i was fully aware we were not together in my 3d and i never naturally thought of us as being together before i saw any evidence of it in my 3d. all i had was the knowing that my inner man was with my sp, and that since i'd decided i had it in imagination, it would push out into my 3d. because that's how the law works!!! and honestly, that's all you really need. you just need to know that since you gave yourself your desire in your imagination ONE TIME, it WILL manifest. and if you have a true understanding of how the law works and you've read source, you will have no trouble knowing that it will come.
you also do NOT need to be in the state of the wish fulfilled 24/7!!! at all!!!! i cannot stress this enough. and tbh i used to feel the same. i felt like i had to be aware of having my desire in imagination 24/7 or else it wouldn't come. i thought i couldn't perceive the lack or opposite in my 3d or else it wouldn't manifest (see this post about dismissing the 3d btw if u need help with that). but the gods honest truth is that all you need to do is DECIDE you have your desire in imagination & not take no for an answer & KNOW that your desire is GOING TO REFLECT IN YOUR 3D NO MATTER WHAT!!!!
and that's not to say that you wont still get anxious and have intrusive thoughts and be like "oh god what if it never manifests." like... im human and i had those human moments. but i just reminded myself that i know the law and ive proven it to myself many times and i know that it had to manifest.
anyway. back to my sp story!
so for these 12 days that im blocked (lmfao) all i did was affirm "i love [his name] so much" whenever i thought of him until i caught the feeling of the wish fulfilled. that's it. and i knew for a fact that he was mine in the 4d and therefore we'd be together in the 3d bc that's the law!
anyway on friday (5 days ago) at 8pm? im scrolling thru the ulta app and then im like "oh i havent fulfilled myself today i dont think" so i fulfilled myself for like 2 seconds and then get distracted by some product and then two minutes later i get a notif that this guy followed me and then dmed me 😭
it's funny cuz my irls don't know about the law of assumption so i sent them a screenshot and i was like "look who came crawling back" and they were like BOOOOO!!! and i was like no guys!!!!! i created the blocking and i created this like i promise we can trust him 😭😭 hahahaha
anyway. let me tell you. if you are manifesting an sp, DO NOT DO THAT SHIT IN STEPS!!!!! i mean, if you really want to, i can't stop you, but i really don't recommend it.
with my old sp (the one from two years ago) i'd always manifest contact and then get it, and then he'd ghost me and and id have to manifest contact again and it'd be a never ending cycle!!! bc i was just focusing on contact, not on how i felt or how he felt about me.
the reason i loveeee to affirm "i love my sp so much" INSTEAD OF "HE loves ME so much" is because it helps me catch the feeling of the wish fulfilled so much more. not only that, but because remember, THERE IS NO ONE TO CHANGE BUT SELF!!!! changing the way i see my sp and the way i feel about him is all i need to do. im not trying to change him and make him love me lol. this is about me and my inner reality, not him! he'll reflect whatever i am in the 4d
another reason i love affirming this is because TO ME, this is what implies we are already together. whenever im in a relationship, i always find myself laying around all giddy thinking about how obsessed with my bf i am and how i love him so much. so i emulate that when im manifesting an sp.
and it's PERFECT because by jumping straight to the end where we're already together, i don't have to focus on all the things that lead to us being in a relationship. i don't have to manifest him following me, or texting me, or asking me on a date. these things all just happen naturally bc im living in the end.
NOT TO MENTION, it naturally turns your sp into your perfect partner? like remember when i said when we were talking before he blocked me he was kinda dry and he'd just send memes that i didn't find funny? THIS DUDE DID A COMPLETE 180!!!
he's sooo funny, he is the OPPOSITE of dry, he is everything???? and im obsessed.
anyway he unblocked me and dmed me, and then asked for my number and we had such funny and cute convos and then boom 4 days later he asks me on a date and i say no (😭😭😭😭 i was busy) but i agreed to go on a date the next day and the way this boy showed pure unencumbered excitement 🥺 im obsessed
anyway im sorry this is so long? i really just wanted to share how all i did was apply what i've been preaching about on this blog for years and it worked out flawlessly! hopefully this gives you guys some good tips and maybe motivation? <3
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RACE DAY & NIGHTCLUBS.
MV1 X FEM!READER
summary it's race day! you and amara decide to spend your sunday night out in the city. you make new friends in the process.
cw ONE use of [Y/N] - it was inevitable. idk the deets of how f1 works exactly, but i tried. this is a work of fiction: i don't know these people irl, i don't know how they act. NON-DESCRIPTIVE READER.
face claims girls on pinterest, but you can obviously disregard them, and imagine whoever you want. (the pictures are for aesthetic purposes.)
a/n i feel like the alonso scene is kinda useless but idk i put it in ite.
masterlist | taglist
—
"I'm so excited!" Amara squealed as you grabbed her wrist to keep her close.
Today is race day. You woke up early, buzzing with anticipation. Amara tried to (poorly) contain her excitement and constant giggles until you had at least one cup of coffee in your system but failed ten minutes into breakfast. You don't blame her—she loves the sport.
She also loves the drivers. Loves the gossip and the drama on and off track. A new thing she has picked up, one you really want to put a stop to, is teasing you about a certain Dutchman. It was already bad enough that your conversation kept replaying in your head, and her playful teasing increased the thoughts of the two-time world champion.
You tolerated it on the walk to the circuit, rolling your eyes at her dreamy sighs and romantic scenarios, which she mostly made up to annoy you but changed the subject as you approached your destination. You refused to look or sound like a crazy fangirl in case... well, in case of actually running into him.
Arriving at the circuit and checking in the paddock had been a nightmare. You and Amara were not huge fans of crowded places you more than her, and the heat of the sun beating down on you made it ten times worse. Alas, you finally found yourselves away from the masses and around the corner of the Aston Martin hospitality building.
Amara was not paying attention to where she was going, and you were listening intently to the plans for the day. At the last minute, you saw a green shirt from the corner of your eye. You pulled on her wrist, and she stumbled towards you, but not before softly colliding with the side of the tall man in the green shirt.
"Oh, shit. ¡Lo siento, señor!" The apology comes in Spanish. (I am sorry, sir!)
"Esta bien, señorita? I was not looking in my path." You try to catch your jaw from falling to the ground when you eye the Green Shirt Guy. (Are you okay, miss?)
That's Fernando fucking Alonso. Fernando Alonso, the man you may or may not have a tiny crush on, is helping Amara stand up after she bent over to grab her discarded water bottle.
"Ah, si. Lo siento, señor Alonso. Estaba mostrando a mi amiga alrededor—"
"It's you from yesterday, no?! The girl with the great, uh, Spanish skills!" He talks to her as if they've known each other for years.
You stand there stunned, trying to compose yourself as your F1 crush stands before you, casually conversing with your best friend. Amara must be ready to explode right about now. You would laugh if you weren't fighting the urge to scream and run around from the joy.
You hear your name fall from Amara's lips, and your gaze focuses back on them. "That's my best friend. I gave her the hat!"
Fernando nods, his gaze on you as a polite smile causes his dimples to appear. You show him the signed Aston Martin cap by tilting your head.
"Amara said you are a big fan. I appreciate it. Do you want to take a photograph?"
"Uh-Yeah! Yeah, I'd love to!" You take your phone out. Oh-em-gee. Oh-em-gee. Is this really happening? "It's nice to meet you, sir!" You can feel the heat radiating off your cheeks.
Fernando, being taller than you, asks for your phone. He raises it above your head and takes a couple of selfies. You muster the brightest smile, copying his funny faces and poses. When he hands it back, thank yous stumble from your lips faster than any car on the grid.
"Mucha suerte para ti hoy!" (Best of luck to you today!)
Fernando laughs but bows his head in appreciation. "Muchas gracias, querida." He turns to Amara, who's watching you both with a smile. "Enjoy the race, girls!"
And with that, he's walking away. You and Amara stand still for a few seconds, watching him disappear around the corner. You lock eyes, jaws on the floor. Squeals escape the both of you as you grab each other for support.
"Oh, my fucking God! We just—I—You—"
"I talked to Fernando fucking Alonso, and you took a photo with him. Shit!" Her tone betrays her disbelief.
"Oh, pinch me, 'mara, because this can't possibly be fucking real!" You cup your red cheek with one palm. "He remembered you. That's crazy!"
Amara giggles. "We talked in Spanish yesterday, and he told me he was impressed by my fluency!"
You smack her arm, suppressing a smile. "What? Why didn't you tell me all of that!? From past experiences, your Spanish has been shit."
She gasps dramatically, feigning offence. "How dare you, missy?! My Spanish is almost perfect. I just happened to get nervous around native speakers!"
You laugh and raise your hands in surrender, muttering my bad. Amara links her elbow with yours. "Are you ready to watch twenty cars go in weird-shaped circles?"
"Yup," you answer, popping the p before pulling her towards the building you will be watching from. "He is hotter in person." You cannot help but add.
Amara rolls her eyes but hums in agreement.
—
"Max Verstappen wins the Spanish Grand Prix! Another flawless performance by the current World Champion!"
You can't help but smile as the camera cuts to his team celebrating. Amara claps in delight, gathering her scattered things from the table to put inside her bag. The VIP room you watched the race from is slowly emptying as everyone walks down to where the celebration will take place. Amara wants to go and get as close as she can to the front, so she can take pictures of the podium. Lewis Hamilton came second, followed by George Russell, and your best friend was beaming and eager to see the podium from up close.
"You don't have to come with me. It's pretty tight there, with the crew, and fans, and stuff." You nod, thankful to her for not forcing you to tag along. "You can wait by the Red Bull hospitality. I think it's closer to the exit." She pauses as you stand from your seat. "And who knows. Maybe a Dutchman will pass by, and you deliver on your plan."
You huff at her wiggling eyebrows. "Seems kind of impossible since Max is celebrating on the podium, 'mara. You have a better chance at meeting him." You snort at her deflated expression.
"Oh, yeah, you're right." She shrugs. "Well, who knows? You might bump into each other again."
"I highly doubt that. Now, give me everything you don't need. I'll put it in my bag. I don't want you losing anything in that crowd."
Amara hands you her handbag and kisses you on the cheek before walking away. You're the only guest in the room now, accompanied by the bartender on the other side of the room. You contemplate staying here or leaving for the Red Bull hospitality. The track fills with fans, as is the ground below the podium. Lewis and George are already there, which means that—
"Here's Max Verstappen, the winner of this year's Spanish Grand Prix." Crofty, the commentator, announces the champion's arrival at the podium's top step.
He looks handsome, with a smile decorating his face and high cheekbones glistening with sweat. He waves at the crowd and takes his Pirelli hat off. His hair is messy, but it just makes him look hotter. Wow. You need to stop, or you'll salivate all over the bloody floor. You turn away from the TV as the Dutch national anthem starts playing.
One thought keeps repeating as you walk out of the building and to the sunny paddock. Max Verstappen is undoubtedly handsome.
—
You're aimlessly pacing in front of the Red Bull building, skipping through the pictures you'd taken. Most of them were of Amara posing in front of different buildings, eating or walking. You don't notice a chest heading your way until it's too late, and you collide. Ouch, you mumble as you rub your forehead.
"We should stop meeting like this." You recognise the voice immediately. How could you not? The man has been plaguing your thoughts.
Your heart is racing. You don't meet Max's eyes at first, hoping that a simple apology will make him walk away. "Oh, sorry. Wasn't paying attention."
"Are you lost again? Do you need help?" Max is quick to offer, but you shake your head negatively.
A hand comes forward, a featherlight touch on your elbow. You finally meet his gaze, rubbing on the spot that stings. What the fuck is he made of? Rock? His eyes hold concern as they rake over your face.
"What are you made of? Rock or something? That stung!" You offer a shy smile and a joke, for his worried expression makes your palms sweat.
He returns the smile. "Hey! You were the one not paying attention."
You shrug. "I was looking through the photos I've taken." You raise the old camera for him to see.
"Oh, yeah? Any cool ones?" He asks, stepping closer to you to see.
You notice a man behind the driver, wearing a Red Bull polo and an impatient expression. Anxiety sparks at your chest. He's got somewhere to be. Leave him alone. "Don't you have media duties to attend? You did just win a race." His smile turns guilty at your words.
"Yeah. I've got to change from this," he points at his racing suit," and attend interviews." He doesn't look too excited to do so.
"Well, then, I shouldn't be keeping you." You move a step back, nervously glancing at the other man.
Max does as well, the flush on his cheeks bolder than before. He opens his mouth, and you watch him have an internal war with himself before he decides to voice whatever thought he has. He motions to the man to go ahead without him. I'll be there in a minute, he mutters.
"I'd love to see those photographs."
Your eyes widen in surprise, and you know you look like a fish as your mouth opens and closes. Your face heats up. "Uh—They're really nothing special. This is an old camera."
Max shrugs. "Why don't you give me your number? I can be the judge of that." Oh, shit. You nod.
He does an immaculate job of looking confident as if this isn't affecting him. A pretty girl agreed to give him his number. It's dangerous for a person with the number of young fans he has to give his phone number to a stranger, but he feels he can trust you. You haven't given him a reason to think you might be a crazy fangirl.
"D'you have a pen? I don't have my phone with me." You nod, rummaging through your handbag to find the emergency glittery pink pen.
Once you pull it out, Max can't help but comment on it. "Nice colour." You send him a playful glare.
He stretches his palm, and you softly pull his fingers closer. You scribble down your number, writing your first and last name underneath it. Max feels remorseful for not even having asked you your name. He knows that you no doubt know who he is now. He repeats it, and your breath hitches. He says it so perfectly, you might melt in a puddle. Caaaaaalm down. You sound insane. He's just stating your name.
"Pretty name," he thinks out loud. You don't believe you were meant to hear that, yet your face grows a shade darker.
Before you can say anything, the man shouts his name from the building's door. "Come on, mate! You're going to be late!" You can see the disappointment Max feels from his deflated smile.
"I have to go. Media duties." You chuckle when he rolls his eyes and nod. "I'll, uh, text you. For the pictures." He takes a step back, eyes locked with yours.
"For the pictures, yeah."
His face is flushed. You blame the race he just won. It's a poor excuse to give someone your number, no matter how famous they might be, yet you did. Amara will have a field day with this information. You half expect her to revive her old Tumblr account for the sake of acting on her scenarios.
"Bye." You wave, and he waves back, exchanging bashful smiles.
You watch his figure approach the man by the door when it hits you. "Oh, Max!" He turns quickly, eyes searching for yours. "Congratulations on your win!"
His eyes crinkle from the smile that he gives you. "Thank you!" He adds your name, and you don't deny it this time; Max Verstappen is extremely handsome, especially when he smiles.
—
MESSAGES: two. From > unknown number.
unknown number
hey, it's Max!
Verstappen. The guy in
the RB shirt.
you
hm... i don't know anyone
with this name. sorry!
max verstappen
Two-time world champion?
you
nope.
never met any world champions
in my life, sorry.
max verstappen
I helped you yesterday
and saw you today outside of
the RB hospitality.
This is [Y/N], right?
you
🤣 yes!
i'm just messing with you max!
max verstappen
*phew* had me thinking you
gave me the wrong number
you
*dramatic gasp*
i am NOT that cruel, mr verstappen!
btw, i havent transferred the photos yet!
camera's charging.
max verstappen
That's totally okay!
Soooo, what are you doing tonight?
you
contemplating whether i should share my
whereabouts with a random man....
max verstappen
HEY! you've met me!
two times already!!!
you
and how do i know this is the REAL
Max Verstappen????????
max verstappen
....you gave me your phone number.
you
oh, yeah. that makes sense.
i'm very sleep deprived haha
max verstappen
😂😂
you
Soooo, what are you doing tonight?
↪ to answer your previous question,
me and my bff are going clubbing
in Barcelona!
max verstappen
Oh, that sounds fun!
you
i'm secretly terrified of getting lost
in the city, but hey! i'm only here for another
night. might as well have fun
plus, i've heard Spaniards party hard!!!!!
max verstappen
plus, i've heard Spaniards party hard!!!!!
↪ THAT'S TRUE. Carlos is an
expert in all things nightclub when we're
here for the GP
you
you have any places to recommend?
amara is still looking on trip advisor
max verstappen
😨 TRIP ADVISOR?
you
WELL WE HAD TO START SOMEWHERE
max verstappen
the Vault is a really great place. Great
drinks and the DJ plays nice songs.
You should try that one!
you
i'm guessing it's expensive
as fuck
max verstappen
not as expensive as it is packed
BUT there's always the Disco Diva
and other clubs down that street
you
max verstappen, you know your
clubs, i see.
(the disco diva? really?)
max verstappen
you caught me ahahahahah
(the disco diva? really?)
↪ it plays really cool stuff
you
it plays really cool stuff
↪ i trust ur judgement.
so what are YOU, race winner, doing
tonight?
max verstappen
how do I know I'm not giving away
my location to a super crazy
fangirl?
you
you dont! YOU wanted MY number.
soooo.... 🤷🏻♀️
max verstappen
LOL. you're funny.
so what are YOU, race winner, doing
tonight?
↪ I was thinking of gaming, but the
boys want to party.
you
WELL, YAH! you totally deserve to let loose!
max verstappen
Hm, I might think about it.
Ha! Maybe we'll find each other in the club!
you
hahahahah it would be pretty embarrassing
if i ran into you again.
for the third time.
have fun with whatever you choose
to do, Maximus Verstappen.
max verstappen
that is definitely NOT my first name.
but i thank you, schat 😁
seen, now.
—
"Who are you talking to?" Amara asks, her eyes glued on TripAdvisor.
"H-Huh?" You barely register her words, fingers tapping on your screen incredibly fast.
"You've been giggling for, like, ten minutes now. I'm assuming it's not your mom. She's probably having lunch."
"Oh, you know. Just this guy I bumped into today. You might know him. His name's Max. Ma—"
"Fucking Verstappen?!" Amara all but yells, sitting up swiftly.
Your eyes meet her shocked expression, and you can't help the chuckle that escapes at her priceless reaction. You shrug in response, feigning nonchalance. Truth is, your best friend has hyped this guy up a lot, and your poor heart beats somewhat faster now that you're talking to him.
"You told me to get his number, didn't you?"
"W-Well—Yeah. But I didn't actually think you'd do it!"
You gasp as if offended. "You dare think so little of me? Think that I wouldn't honour my promise to feed your delusions?"
Amara laughs, lightly smacking your arm. "Okay, weirdo. Tell me what the fuck happened."
After pushing yourself to a sitting position, you tell her every detail of your second meeting with the world champion, including the texts. Amara's reactions are comical. At the end of your story-telling process, she's sitting there, with her jaw mere inches from touching the ground.
"So, do you think we'll meet him in that nightclub?"
You shrug. "I don't know. He said he'd think about it." You show her your phone, scrolling to the text he had sent you mere minutes ago. "Doesn't sound that eager to me."
"Well, it wouldn't hurt to go by the Vault, or whatever its name was." Amara wiggles her eyebrows.
"Are you trying to get me laid with a celebrity?"
She grimaces. "Pfft. He's hot. You're pretty. If you take out the millions on Instagram—" "—and his bank account." Amara shoots you a pointed look. "He looks like a pretty normal guy." She exhales before continuing. "You should have fun. We didn't come here just for me. And he seems like a lot of fun."
Amara wasn't wrong. Yes, you had come here for the Grand Prix, which was her thing, but there was plenty of time for you to have fun. And if fun meant drinking and meeting with an extremely handsome guy, who were you to refuse? You'd probably never see him again, either.
—
views 96 / views 242
—
"Finally!" You shout excitedly.
After waiting for a solid thirty minutes in a very long line outside of Club Vault and paying an entry fee that you're sure is way too expensive, you have finally made it inside. The place is flooded with people drinking, dancing, and talking. The lights are dim, and the music loud; a promising, fun night.
You barely dodge swaying on the dancefloor as Amara drags you to the bar. She orders for you while you look around. The DJ and his setup is on a balcony, above which there is a VIP sign. You squint your eyes as another face comes into view. Is that...Lando Norris?
You blindly reach for Amara, turning her around by the wrist. "Hey, isn't that Norris?"
Despite the ear-deafening music, you're able to hear your best friend's gasp. "Oh, my fucking God! Yes, that's him!" She looks at you, a knowing smile on her lips. "Does that mean that he's here—"
"I don't know!" The bartender nods at you, showing you your drinks. "Let's drink!"
And that's exactly what you do. Your drinks are cold enough to help with the heat of dancing, and you can't lie, Lando—with the help of the actual DJ—plays decent music. Max was right about the place being fun. Amara is doing her weird dance moves, and you're copying her, trying to best her.
You're two drinks in, back turned to the DJ booth, when your best friend's eyes widen, dance moves faltering, and you hear everybody cheer. She elbows you to turn around, and your breath hitches: it's Max. He's actually here with Lando and the DJ. And your heart is racing with excitement. He waves at the crowd below, and everyone cheers louder.
Your lip twitches as an idea forms in your mind. Taking your phone out of your boot (an extremely smart and safe place to hide it—if it fits—btw), you snap a picture of the champion, sending it to your chat.
—
MESSAGES: two. To > max verstappen.
you
one file attached.
just found your lookalike!
max verstappen
THATS ME! WhEere are yoU?!?!8@
you
how much have you had to drink? lol
max verstappen
not drunk .
just shvoing past poepel to get to you
where re uoy?????
you
by the bar
max verstappen
real helpful
you
im wearing black?
seen, now
—
You wait a couple of seconds for the grey bubble to appear. When you don't receive a response, you shrug, putting your phone back in its hiding spot. Your gaze focuses on Amara; she's biting her lip while holding two shots in each hand.
"I stole them!" is all she says.
Your jaw drops, and you giggle, accepting the tiny glasses. You yell cheers before chugging down both of them. Tequila. Nice.
You take a step back, eyes blinking away tears caused by the burn in your throat. You don't realise you've stepped into someone's toes until a shout almost bursts your eardrums.
"Jesus Christ!" You yell, covering the side of your head.
Turning around, you're faced with the one and only; Max Verstappen, holding on to the bar railing with a pained expression. Your eyes almost bulge out of your skull.
"Oh, shit! Are you okay?" You can barely hear yourself.
He nods, throwing a smile your way. "Yeah, I'm good! It's nice to see you!" You're barely able to read his lips.
A pinch on your lower back startles you, and you turn around with a gasp. Amara's standing there, expectant, wide eyes moving from you to Verstappen.
"Oh, Max! This is my best friend, Amara!"
She smiles politely, shaking his offered hand. "Nice to meet you!" You wonder if she's close to passing out from internal fangirling.
His eyes return to you. "Hey, you wanna join my table?"
Shaking your head with a confused grimace, you shout. "I can't hear anything you're saying!"
"What?!"
"I can't hear any—"
It's futile to communicate this way, he decides. Max's slightly cold hands are suddenly pulling on your wrists, gently guiding you closer to him. Goosebumps take over your entire body, forearm burning as he moves his fingers to your elbow, keeping you steady, and he leans toward your ear.
"Wanna join me and my friends?" He feels your breath hitch and pulls back to meet your hesitant gaze.
"We don't want to bother you," you say once you pull him down.
Max shakes his head. "Nonsense! I won the race, and I want to celebrate with my friends."
He hears your breathy chuckle. "We're friends, now?"
"Unless you're some super crazy fangirl I should be worried about." The smile in his voice gives away his amusement. He's quoting his texts.
You pause for a second. Knowing Amara, she would agree immediately. You should have fun, you recall her words from earlier. And he seems like a lot of fun. Yeah. She's right.
"Let me ask 'mara." You point to your best friend, awkwardly standing by the bar.
He watches you talk in her ear, a smile forming on your best friend's lips before she eagerly nods. "You're coming?" He asks once you approach him as if he hadn't been staring at you already.
"Okay." As soon as you nod, Max's smile widens, eyes shining.
You nod, and he feels his cheeks hurt from smiling so hard. "C'mon," goosebumps raise on your exposed arms as Max grabs your hand. His hand is so soft. "I don't want you getting lost." The wink he throws your way only fuels the flush on your neck and cheeks.
It's definitely going to be a fun night.
The walk to the VIP section is extremely difficult, with Max getting recognised and patted on the back every few seconds. When you finally make it, you sigh in relief before Max pulls you both by the wrist to meet his friends. Be cool, you mouth to Amara who only nods, wide-eyed.
"Pierre and Kika, Charles and Alex, this is [Y/N] and Amara!" You're sure they can barely hear him over the loud music but wave at them anyway. Charles shares a look with Pierre, the latter unable to contain his smile.
Max leans down, his nose brushing your temple. "Wait just a moment. Lando's around here somewhere." Before you can say a word, he flashes you a smile and disappears into the crowd, leaving you gaping like a fish.
You have no time to recover when the pretty girls approach you. Alex introduces herself as Alexandra, but she doesn't mind going by Alex. Kika's name is Francisca, but she goes by Kika. It's nice to meet them, and you don't hesitate to tell them so.
"Shots?" Amara reappears with four shot glasses passing them to each of you. "Cheers!" You clink your glasses before downing them.
"Oh, are you doing shots without me?!" A new voice pops up from behind you. Amara's eyes widen momentarily, meeting yours in poorly contained excitement.
You turn, gaze landing on Lando Norris and then gluing on Max Verstappen. This lighting makes him look even hotter. Is it normal to be thinking that? Probably not.
He introduces you to the tipsy-looking Brit, who shakes your hands in return. Amara's pulled to the side by Kika, something about doing more shots, and Charles motions for Max to go over to him. Once you're alone with Lando, a smile breaks onto his face.
"He's said a lot about you!" Your brows furrow, confused.
"What? That I tend to get lost easily in big places?" You nervously laugh, but Lando just shakes his head.
"Somethin' like tha'!"
—
views 120 / views 218
—
You haven't had this much fun in a while. You and Amara usually go to two clubs as a duo, but you admit having more people to dance and do shots with is way more fun. You're usually the sober one, having a higher tolerance for alcohol than your best friend, and this time you're extra careful since you're in a foreign place.
At some point during your dance battle with Kika and Amara, you grow tired. As much as you liked exaggerating your moves, your boots were made for walking, not jumping. Max had been out of your vision for a while, and you decided to look for him. He wasn't hard to find, considering he was nursing a drink on a couch further away from the action.
"Hey!" You plop down, bumping your elbow with his.
Max grinned. "Hey, stranger. Are you having fun?"
You nod excitedly. "Your friends are really nice." He snorts at that. "No, really! Drive to Survive does justice to none of you!"
Max's eyes widen, mouth hanging in shock. "Your source of information is a Netflix show?"
"Hey! I had to start from somewhere. I knew next to nothing about racing."
Conversing with Max comes naturally. He's funny, and he listens to what you have to say. He asks about your job: a photographer for brands. He laughs when you tell him you prefer the make-up brands because they're easier to manage than people.
He explains racing to you in simple terms. You nod along, trying your best to take in the information. It's harder with all the music and dancing bodies, but you make it work. You've shuffled even closer to him as Max leans down to talk directly in your ear while his hands move animatedly in front of you.
At some point, the conversation shifts to cats. You're delighted to learn that he has not one, but two big babies. Jimmy and Sassy. Max is a very proud cat dad, you conclude, from the excitement that exudes from every pore of his body as he slides from picture to picture.
"Oh my goodness! They're so cute!" You try not to literally squeal as Max stumbles upon a picture of them napping on his chest.
"They sleep all day and ask for treats all night." You laugh as he rolls his eyes, probably recalling every time this has happened.
"Oh, I'd love to meet them one day. They look lovely!"
"Yeah, I could introduce you someday," he says, and you turn to look at him with a huge smile.
"I should bring my Cheddar when it happens."
"Cheddar?"
"My cat. He's a big fluffball." You reach for your phone, unlocking it to search for pictures of your orange cat.
"And you named him Cheddar? After the cheese?" He looks at you incredulously.
You giggle at his expression. "He's as orange as the cheese. It was my mom's idea to name him that."
You turn your phone his way, showing him a selfie of the fluffiest cat Max has ever seen on top of your shoulders. You're clearly giggling in it, a hand over your mouth. Cute, he thinks.
"He's adorable."
"And fat," you add.
Tapping a most recent picture, you show it to Max. Cheddar is on his back, his fat ass making him look like a pear. Your mom had sent you this just a day before.
"He's staying with my mom right now. And she's feeding him more than needed."
"We should arrange a playdate." You chuckle at Max's suggestion.
"Sure, if you fly out to England."
Before Max can respond, a very loud and drunk Brit makes his way to you. Lando grins when he spots you two sitting close, indiscreetly winking at Max. Your face feels warm.
"Do you guys wan' t' leave?" You barely make out his words.
Charles notices the three of you and pulls a dancing Alex with him, who pulls Amara with her. The three make their way to where you're seated.
"What are you guys talking about?"
Lando turns to him. "Are you hungry, mate?"
Charles shakes his head, leaning close to Alex to ask her the same. She also shakes her head with an apologetic smile.
"I am!" Amara nudges Lando, and his eyes light up.
He turns to Max and you. "Me and my new friend," he pulls Amara by the shoulders, and she drunkenly stumbles, "are hungry. Will you take us somewhere to eat?"
You look at Max, who mirrors your smiling expression. Lando says something about Max promising to be his chauffeur if he got too drunk.
"I could eat," you shrug. Max nods, agreeing.
He stands up, looking at the drunk pair. "Okay, let's go."
—
views 68 / views 95
[ taglist @alexmarie29 , @angelfreckless, @algae-tm, @chonkybonky, @lovely-blackinnon, @namgification, @taygrls, @ssprayberrythings, @ilove-tswizzle, @leclercdream, @halleest, @yaesflorist, @liafterhours, @mrsbrxkkxr ]
#max verstappen#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen x you#max verstappen fanfic#max verstappen social media au#max verstappen smau#formula one#formula one x reader#f1#f1 x reader#lando norris#charles leclerc#pierre gasly#i need him in a way that is concerning to feminism#friends to lovers#max verstappen fluff#fluff#frank writes
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felix felices, or liquid luck f.w. x fem! reader.
my masterlist
irl mutuals dni (你没有看到我)
music choice; yo bro wtf
t.w.: swearing. (sorry i couldnt help myself)
word count: 3.5k
synopsis; strangers (hallway crushes) to lovers, with the help of felix felicis potion, or the liquid luck potion!!
here you go anon! hope you enjoy <3 sorry i took so long.
im so sunburnt help
(slightly inspired from my own events but let me tell you i died inside. i hate chemistry oh my lord, potions reminds me too much of it lol)
warnings; not proof read. 3 (?) mentions of y/n, a really stupid misunderstanding. reader is described with hair that can get blown into their face.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
everybody knew fred weasley. it was impossible not to, as they were hogwart's most well known pranksters since the era of the marauders.
of course, you did not happen to know him well enough yourself. you had a couple of lessons with him, such as; potions, herbology, and arithmetics.
His brother and he never really contributed anything to class discussion, only ever helpfully supplying mischief and jokes, and whatever they deemed interesting to themselves.
however, you noticed him wherever you went. It seemed as if it was almost impossible not to, he just happened to pop up randomly everywhere. In hogsmeade, in the hallways between classes, and in your dreams. (not in a weird way you weirdos).
Maybe the first time you ever really started thinking about him was when he appeared in your dream…you weren't too sure. But soon enough, you began thinking about him way too much, counting down the lessons till you could see him again in a next lesson.
you began searching for him in the hallways, the common room, the dining hall. even in places you know he would never be, but it just seems like you were always looking for him.
in lessons, everything he did, you were drawn to. you knew what he had, knew what he liked, and you spoke to him only every once in a while.
'this sucks.' you'd tell your friends. they'd laugh, telling you you should just talk to him more.
which isn't really helpful. you would think.
through some miracle ( or horror, you really couldn't decide.) you ended up sitting with fred in potions. Technically it wasn't a miracle, you had just been goofing off with your friends, being too loud for dear old snapey, you'd been moved next to him.
'oh god oh god oh god oh god' was the only thing going through your head as you packed up your desk to move next to him. your friend could barely hold in her laughter, having to slap her own hand over her mouth to muffle it.
'oh shit oh shit oh shit what have i done to deserve this oh my god' is what you were thinking as you walked towards the back, brushing past george as you walked towards fred.
You sat down at his desk, and he turned his face to you, giving you a soft smile. you pray internally that your face does not erupt into flames.
professor snape, once satisfied that you are suffering, turns back to the board, tapping his wand impatiently on the board.
"today," he drawls, "we will be attempting the felix felicis potion. failure to produce a functioning potion will result in a fourteen inch parchment describing every step you made and what you did wrong." he finishes, piercing his gaze into every one of his students.
you wince. fourteen inches for a mistake? seems costly. Potions has never been your strong point. (for the purpose of this, we're gonna pretend fred is excellent at potions.) You pray to the gods above that you don't mess this up for fred.
as snape sits down on his desk, working through marking some paper. as you get up to go get the ingredients as fred sets up the cauldron. you come back, setting down the ashwinder egg, squid bulb, murtlap growth, thyme occamy eggshell, and powdered common rue on the desk.
fred smiles again, thanking you for your help.
"so we have to set in the ashwinder egg first. you wanna do it?" fred asks, as you tie up your hair. he watches as you do so, and you nod, trying to fight off any embarrassment.
he steps back from the cauldron, letting you do so. your hands are shaking and you are doing everything in your power to stop it. in your haste, you knock over the murtlap growth, but before it falls, fred's hand flashes out, catching it in his hand.
"sorry!" you apologise frantically, and he laughs. It's the nicest laugh you've ever heard, deep and infectious, a laugh you'd be able to hear across the room and still recall years later.
"don't worry. i caught it." he says, setting it back on the table.
you smile, avoiding eye contact. you manage to finish the task, and with his help with mixing, the felix felicis is done. while he was mixing, you tried to pretend not to notice his hands. they're nice, to say the least. his hands are rough and calloused from years of being on the quidditch team, as a beater. he's got small white scars littered across his hands from years of experimenting with george over their joke shop products. you have to drag your eyes away.
The felix felicis potion is finished, and it's the most beautiful shade of gold you've ever seen. You would describe it akin to what you would imagine liquid gold to be, and it fits perfectly into a little vial the size of your middle finger. all that work for a little vial no bigger than your middle finger.
it's still the most valuable potion in the world, though.
the potion has large drops of gold leaping across the surface like goldfish, but it never seems to spill out of the vial. you put the stopper over it, and you hand it to fred, your fingers brushing against his warm ones in the process.
"thanks." he seems to whisper, even though he speaks at normal volume.
"we work well together, i think. usually i can't even get a basic potion done." you tell him, laughing a little.
"i bet that's not true." he responds, the corner of his lips upturned.
"it is." you laugh.
you both return to your seats after setting all the equipment away, and as the first group finished, it means you get to present it first.
snape looks at it approvingly, the first time he's ever regarded something you've done, as done well. you can't help but smile, and snape speaks. "i'm glad that you were able to work well once i removed you from your friends. mr. weasley will now be your partner."
you stare at him in slight disbelief, before shrugging and saying, "yes professor snape."
"as the first students done, and the best potion made, you may keep it. decide amongst yourselves which of you gets it." snape finishes, before shooing you away from his desk.
you both stare at each other, your eyes meeting his hazel brown ones. "you have it-" "i don't want-" you both say, before he tries to hand it to you.
you push his hand away, shaking your head, "it's alright, you can keep it."
"no, i think you should keep it. after all, you need it for potions, right?" he jokes, pushing it into your hands.
you gape at him in mock shock. "how could you say that! We only did so well because of me!" you respond, in mock indignation.
he laughs, as he closes your palm over the small vial, and you realise you've lost. however, you decide, you will sneak it into his bag when he's not paying attention.
the end of the lesson has never come so fast. And for the first time in your life, you're slightly disappointed to leave potions. before leaving you levitate the felix felicis potion into his bag with your wand, and you grin wickedly. you'll just have to see him in your other classes later.
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Fred Weasley thinks he is absolutely screwed. After a year of having a crush on a girl who he does not talk to often, despite sharing three lessons with her, he is now partners in potions with her for an indefinite period of time.
He doesn't know when he first noticed you, but god, is he glad he did. he thinks you may be the prettiest girl he's ever seen, with the brightest smile, and the sweetest personality.
so imagine his surprise, that this sweet girl, has gotten in trouble for talking so much (he doesn't care, he liked listening to your voice)
while you were freaking out and chanting 'oh shit' in your head, something similar was going through fred's. george coughs, unsuccessfully hiding his laugh behind it. fred elbows george to get him to shut up as you approach the table, and george gathers his things, to leave. he winks at fred, before walking to your previous seat next to your friend, flashing a quick and easy smile.
fred wishes he could talk to you so easily, and he tries his best not to show his nervousness, flashing you what he thinks is an awkward smile. (it isnt, it looks natural as hell, not to mention hot as hell)
while you make the potion, he watches you with fervour, as if he's scared he'll miss a single movement you'll make, hungrily soaking up your smiles like a man starved.
every touch feels like something he's been missing, like a hot cup of chocolate after a walk in winter, and he's scared he's going to get addicted.
he wants to give you the felix felicis, and is happy when you finally give up. after potions, in herbology, he reaches into his bag, to find the felix felicis. he laughs, before searching across the classroom for you.
when he makes eye contact, he raises an eyebrow, holding it in his palm to show you, his heart fluttering in his chest. he looks as composed and calm as ever to you, but he knows differently.
it becomes a game, the felix felicis. it takes over several months, and you start to get creative with it, hiding it in his mail, he hid it in your textbooks somehow, you hid it in his hair, etc etc.
it became a competition, who could come up with the craziest spots. after you hid it a couple months later in what you hope was his jacket pocket.
it's been awhile since you had first sat with fred in potions because of professor snape, and you're so happy to say that you've grown closer over the months, even spending time together out of lessons at cafes to study, or in the library together.
after hiding the felix felicis in his jacket pocket while on a walk with him in the winter months, you wait for his turn.
one day passes. nothing happens. another day, and another. four days later, and it still hasn't turned up yet. where is it? you wonder. you check for it everywhere you go, turning your entire dorm upside down searching for it.
he couldn't have lost it, right? it was in his jacket pocket. could it be that he's bored of this game, and he just decided to keep it? must be.
you're disappointed, of course, it was very enjoyable. but there's nothing you can really do.
imagine your surprise, when you walk into the dining hall, to see fred standing with his brother, and what- what's that in his hand? none other than the felix felicis.
you watch as he takes a swig of it, setting the rest of the vial in his pocket. his brother pats him on the back in what seems to be encouragement, and he walks over to your friend.
he smiles at her, and she smiles back. they talk and for some reason your heart starts to get a bit heavy.
'did he just drink the felix felicis just to talk to her?' you ask yourself. unable to stand there and watch, you turn around and walk out of the dining hall, threading your fingers through your hair, brushing it away from your face.
something dark, sick and familiar is brewing in the pit of your stomach, it's pulling, pushing your heart strings.
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fred weasley is going to ask you out. he toys with the felix felicis vial in his pocket as he waits for you to enter the dining hall, turning it over and over again in his pocket as he leans against one of the columns with george.
you don't show up for awhile, and fred's wondering where you are.
"go ask her friend." george states, pushing him forward, giving him a reassuring pat on the back.
fred hypes himself up, and he takes the vial out of his pocket, swigging a sip as he stalks towards your friend. the liquid is thick but light in his mouth, tasting of golden hawthorn berries and honey.
he taps her on the shoulder and smiles at her nervously.
"hey. where's y/n?" he asks your friend
"she's still upstairs i believe." she responds with a smile.
she turns around to see you walking out of the hall, and her smile drops.
"oh."
"what?" fred asks.
"i think she may have misunderstood what's going on." she sighs, and gives fred a slightly strained smile. "you couldn't have waited till after you spoke to me to drink it, could you?"
fred flashes a confused look. "whatever do you mean?"
"hasn't the entire potion been a game? who could hide it the best?" your friend asks him.
"i mean, yeah, it has. but i don't see the problem…?" he scratches the back of his neck.
she rolls her eyes, muttering something about 'boys…' freds eyes narrow, and she lets out a soft laugh.
"right. think of it this way. imagine you've had a crush on this guy for ages. you're not exactly close, but you talk. you have one 'special' thing you do together. for example, hiding the potion….and then you see them keeping it for themselves….you got me?" Your friend finishes, raising her eyebrows at him.
he stares, before realisation finally dawns on him.
"oh shit." he mutters, hand threading through his ginger locks.
"well?" your friend asks, somewhat impatient. "go after her."
fred nods, sprinting across the dining hall, after you. praying to himself that he can fix this, and george throws him a thumbs up as he sprints past.
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'fuck.' you think as you sit down on the edge of the astronomy tower. you can't help but replay the moment of fred drinking the felix felicis before he speaks to your friend. he looked so nervous but so hyped.
you're not about to jump off the astronomy tower, but it's a nice place to be where you need some time alone, to think. you need that now.
that sick, familiar and painful thing pulling at your gut earlier, its back. theres nothing you can do now, but just sit back and let it happen, you suppose.
She's your friend, and so is fred. you have to be okay with it. it's not worth losing friends over.
the wind picks up, ruffling your hair into your face, tangling it into knots. the rain starts pouring down, dropleta cascading down your face.
turning your face up to the sky, you let out a deep sigh, feeling tears prickling at your waterline, fighting the tears back. 'no. you don't have a right to be upset.' you chatise.
'he's not yours. he never was.' you need to remind yourself. this isn't fair to either of them, they had no control over their feelings.
despite that, the tears continue to fall. you can't compete, this isn't fair. she knew you liked him. she knew how you felt. you literally spoke to her about it.
There is nothing. nothing you can do about this. you are just going to have to wait for the feelings to go away. it wouldn't be fair to like your best friend's boyfriend. (getting ahead of yourself, aren't we?)
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fred weasley is freaking out. he can't find you. you're not in the common room, in any of your lessons for the day (yes, he knows your schedule), you're not in any of the bathrooms (he didn't go in, he just asked the girls who came out of the bathrooms), and you're not near the black lake.
in his haste, he almost runs in to someone. "shit." he grunts
"watch where you're going!" someone says. he looks up and realises it's harry.
"oh it's you. you alright there, fred?" harry says, pulling fred up to his feet.
"harry!" fred basically shouts. "where's the marauders map?" he practically begs, and harry raises a brow in response.
"not the time. i need it." harry nods, pulling it out of his pocket, before handing it over to fred.
"oh shit." fred whispers, seeing your name pop up at the astronomy tower. how could he forget it? you told him weeks ago that it was your favourite place in the school.
shoving the marauders map back into harry's arms, fred yells his thanks to harry as he speeds through the hall, skipping steps three at a time to get to you, he stumbles a couple of times, not hitting the floor, but catching himself just in time.
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your back is to the door, and the combination of the rain and the wind prevents you from hearing it open.
"y/n? are you alright?" fred asks quietly, taking a deep breath and sitting besides you.
you turn your face away, wiping away the marks of tears before turning back to him.
"yeah. just enjoying the rain. it's nice, isn't it?" you tell him, trying to change the topic, giving him a soft smile.
you both stare off into the distance, slowly watching all the dark rain clouds move away from the astronomy tower.
he notices that you're drenched, and he sighs. he pulls his jumper over his head, pulling his wand out from his pocket as he does so. "exaresco" he whispers as you dry off.
he passes you his jacket, which you accept without a word. it's still warm with his body heat, and smells faintly of the quidditch pitch and cinnamon, tinged with a scent of something burnt.
"so. you and (friend's name), huh?" you say to attempt to lighten the mood. turning your face to him, you send him a (fake) sly smile, nudging him in the arm.
he stares at you, furrowing his eyebrows. since he finally knows how you feel about him, why are you acting like this?
"no." his reply is short, straight to the point.
you gape at him, mouth falling open and he lets out a deep chuckle, his index finger reaching out and pushing your jaw back up.
"what do you mean no?? I saw you going up to her, drinking the felix felicis." you say, pushing his hand away from your face with a confused frown.
"it wasn't for her." He states simply, hoping his answer is enough for you to finally understand his feelings.
you stare blankly at him.
"you're one of the smartest people i know, but you're so oblivious." he states, sighing playfully.
"then who's the lucky girl?" you ask him, not really wanting to hear the answer anyway. your stomach's already feeling heavy, and he's not even said anything yet. is it katie bell? angelina johnson? who else has he spoken to that he might like?
fred lets out a groan. how can you be so oblivious.
"what?" You laugh, nudging him and trying to get out an answer from him. your hands are getting cold, so you put them in your (fred's) jacket pockets. there's something cold inside, and you pull out a familiar vial.
"why would you think there's anyone else?" fred asks, eyes trained on you as you turn the vial over and over again in your hands.
that catches your attention and your eyes turn to him. "what do you mean?"
fred laughs, his hand combs through his ginger locks as he pushes them back nervously.
"I'm trying, and failing apparently, to tell you i like you." he finally says, laughing nervously again, avoiding eye contact with you.
you gape, for the umpteenth time tonight, before realising he must be joking. you force out a laugh, slightly (super) disappointed. "you're so funny." you deadpan.
"i'm not joking."
"you must be." You respond, slightly hurt that he finds something like this funny. you're facing away again, so you don't notice him look at you. something steels inside of him, and he's confident this will end in his favour.
he reaches up, his hand finding your jaw, and he pulls your face back to him.
something in his eyes is dark, and you realise for the first time, that he's not joking. there's something similar to adoration in his eyes, and it's everything you do in your power to stop from gasping.
"i'm not joking." he repeats.
you can feel his breath on you, fanning across your skin like a warm embrace.
"are you sure?" you whisper, trying to contain the butterflies in the pit of your stomach.
"yes." his response is short, sure and straight to the point. "i am"
the next thing you know, his lips are on yours, breaths mingling together. he pulls you closer, and you feel yourself melt into his embrace.
you pull back from the kiss, and he lets out a unhappy groan.
"does this mean…you like me?" you ask him.
he glares at you, and you laugh. "i'm only joking." is your response. he grins, his forehead resting against yours.
you lie your head on his shoulder, and the both of you enjoy each other's company. this all happened because of felix felics. you can't help but feel so grateful. maybe you should stop hating potions now.
#fred weasley#x reader#duckiewrites#fred weasley x reader#duckie's inbox#wizarding world#hp fandom#harry potter#george weasley#fred x reader#gryffindor reader#gryffindor#the weasleys#weasley family#asks#sorry anon it took so long#fred
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