#(i don’t nt even have a wife)

[alicre]

VOLT’S RE-DESIGN WOOOOO

My son 🍋

Other backgrounds : (+ the old design)

:3

The old look : (jumscare warning)

Thats it :)

[ranbitteeth]

More subby Mizu!! 👏👏

Had this idea for a while - I don’t imagine Mini being the type to go down on his wife, so what about soft!dom reader eating her out for the first time? Just gently talking her through it, taking the time to just make her feel good.

Pussy Eating, a Delicate Art...

A/N: OP you genius you. Not sure if this aligns well enough with your vision, but alas, viola!

—————————————————-

Tags: Pussy Eating, Ambiguously Gendered Reader, Uses of the word c*nt in reference to pussy, Fingering, Dirty Talk if you squint.

Fill my inbox! I have plenty more where this came from.

—————————————————-

“You think I could?”

The idea had been planted in your mind long before you made it known. When exactly, you couldn’t say. Maybe when you and Mizu first showered together and she shied away from spreading her legs. Maybe it was after a long day of work that you watched her come home, silently groaning to herself before she wordlessly nestled into the soft cushions of your bed. However, you could very much pinpoint when this desire evolved into an insatiable, soul-crushing *need.*

Every month, the two of you made it a point to spend time together. Be it inside the house, on a date, movies, park, with friends. You wanted Mizu to know you loved your wife. You crushed every doubt she could have.

The last month, about a week or so ago— the two of you had reserved a ravishing dinner in a wealthier part of town. It was fun to play dress-up with her, to act and look the part just for the night. You expected her to be wearing her usual slacks and blouse when she asked you “What do you think?”, as the answer was so ready to slip past your lips and sing her praises. It was only when you actually turned around and *looked* that you could see she surprised you with a rather short slip-on dress that reached just to the middle of her thighs. Her long, shapely legs were only accentuated by the heels she decided to match that night. You could've dropped the reservation just then and there to take the night entirely for yourself, but it’d be an embarrassing amount of money down the drain. You’d much rather enjoy the sight, let the world see what they couldn’t have. The delight you relished in seeing Mizu’s legs was short-lived, however, as in the middle of dinner, she had asked to borrow your coat and begrudgingly placed it over her lap. Oh, well. As long as she was comfortable.

You’d think back to that night nearly every day that followed. Of course you’d see her nude, that wasn’t the point. The point was that the sweet thing had conspired behind your back and planned to wear a dress to surprise *you*, and you had been rocked to your core. It was impossible not to imagine running your hands up her legs, spreading them apart and pushing her underwear aside. You wanted those thighs wrapped around your neck, you wanted to hear her voice break with want. Soon enough, you offered this— and Mizu only blinked at the ceiling before pinning you with a questioning stare. *Woof.* Her previous husband had only done the minimum, as was obvious by her aversion to anything besides missionary and the standards.

“You don’t have to,” you murmured, toying with her hair as she visibly contemplated the thought. “And even then, we can stop whenever you feel like it. No one will get mad.” No, you couldn’t imagine resenting Mizu for anything. She realized this, it seemed, as she had finally relaxed after a tense moment, nervously looking between you and her lap.

“Do I..?” she began to wonder aloud, awkwardly spreading her knees apart before you huffed out a laugh.

“No, no, you gotta ease into it,” you say, leaning in to close the space between the two of you and languidly pressing your lips against hers. This, she knew, and responded back beautifully. Her lips parted, allowing you access into her mouth before her hands made their way over your face— your heart swells. You break the kiss before you decide to descend onto her neck, though not without a parting peck. Your mouth trails up and down her slender neck, delicately marking up the pale skin of her collarbones until you hear her breath hitch. You pull away to look up at, her hand in yours as your thumb caresses a knuckle.

“All good?” You ask, to which she nods in return.

“I’ll let you know…” she says lowly, pupils blown. You grin at this, relieved she wasn’t forcing herself before you continue. You gently raise the hem of her old tee over her chest, gently cupping one of her breasts in your hands before you take the bud in your mouth. She makes a noise at this, the one you're chasing. You can feel her muscles tense beneath you and take it as a sign to descend further down until your hands slide over her waist, holding it firmly as you begin to pepper innocent kisses everywhere your lips could touch skin. She seems embarrassed at this, averting her gaze while her expression grows into that of feigned boredom and irritation. You knew better. You always did— no way could she be mad now.

“Relax, I’ll get to you soon enough. What if I just want to kiss your tummy the whole night?” You tease, though you eagerly begin to adjust your positions now knowing Mizu’s eagerness to continue.

“Then I would’ve stayed in the dojo.” She responds gruffly. You make a feigned noise and motion of being shot in the chest, to which she only rolls her eyes and shoots you an unimpressed stare, though you smirk in response. You see her lips, her eyes— you know she’s fighting a smile with every muscle in her body.

Slowly, you begin to pull her underwear off her hips, pulling them down past her thighs and over her ankles, allowing her to kick them off herself as you take a place between her thighs. You make a noise in the back of your throat as you’re suddenly face to face with the object of your desires and fantasies for the past few days. Your warm breath fans and tickles over her core, but you can’t be bothered to start yet, too enraptured in the lovely quality about her. What pained you is that she didn’t even *realize* this, didn’t even realize how stunning she was.

“If I wanted to be stared at all night I would’ve—nngh-?!”

Her bratty little retort had been cut short by your tongue suddenly pushing its way past her folds and into the fleshy warmth inside. A strained, awkward noise was heard— though it was not discomfort. Far from it, by the way Mizu’s eyes went impossibly wide, hips jutting forward and greedily chasing the pleasure your mouth provided. One hand instinctively flew over her mouth while the other was entangled in your hair. Oh, now this just wouldn’t do.

Heartlessly, you pulled away from her, pinning her down with a quirked brow and a tilt of your head.

“If you want me to keep going, you’ll do me a kindness and take your hand away from your mouth.” You say evenly, squeezing the soft skin of her thighs as you spoke. “I need to hear you.”

Hesitantly, she obeys, her trembling palm now living away from her face and down to the sheets. You hummed in response, muttering a quick “good girl” that made her stomach flutter.

Slowly, you began to work your tongue around her cunt again, languidly rolling the slick, warm muscle against the insides of her folds before you found her clit— obvious by the startled, sexy little noise Mizu made, forced to air it out into your space. *There,* instead of mercilessly attacking the lovely little bundle of nerves and sensitivity, you grace circles in the surrounding area, massaging and pushing, *sucking* on her flesh and drinking up the arousal that began to coat your lips and chin. Mizu’s shy, strained, and awkward noises slowly began to bloom into unabashed, almost *girlish* moans and whimpers. Rarely did she ever sound this way, being so accustomed to lowering her voice and acting as an intimidator for most of her life. You soaked up these noises like the demon you were, taking it as a sign to continue to relentlessly flick your tongue over and inside of her. Mizu took this all beautifully, arching her back and moaning out your name in a way that awakened something primal in you.

“Mmf…fuck…” you groan into her pussy, enjoying the way she twitched against you. “You taste amazing…” you begin to babble, grabbing her by the hips and pushing her further against you in a way that made her openly gasp.

“(Name…!)” she grunts, fighting against every instinct in her body that urged her to hide her face and noises behind her palms.

Wordlessly, you bring one of your hands away from holding her hips and down to where your mouth met skin, easily pumping your digits inside of her thanks to the gushing quality of her pussy.

“God, Mizu, you’re soaking up the sheets..” you scold teasingly, making her face grow hotter than it was. You look up, noticing her eyes glazed with unshed tears as her body trembles. You coo at the sight, your fingers still relentless.

“Aw, you’re close, aren’t you?” You say, voice light and adoring. You’ve never seen her in such a wreck, but a cruel, primal side of you adored the sight and hungered for more, hungered to keep her desperate and begging for hours— to tear her apart…

But the saner, better side of you was reminded that Mizu could only take so much for her first time, and there would always be more time.

“I got you, baby..” you mutter before you begin to eat her out with far more conviction than before, now desperate to milk out an orgasm that would blind her with pleasure. Your finger massages her deeper, and Mizu’s breath hitches. *There.* At the same time as your tongue, your finger attacks Mizu’s most sensitive areas before you feel her thighs clench around your head as she arches her back and *cums,* voice breaking in all her desperation as she sobs out your name. Greedily, you drink up the arousal that was dripping out of her pussy like a person deprived of water. By the end, you’re both out of breath, bodies slack and lazy against each other. You made haste in readying a warm, damp towel as you cleaned up your wife, making her sigh in contentment. You’re both eventually back beneath the warm covers of your bed, but you’re staring, unashamed and adoring at Mizu’s giddy expression. It was a subtle thing, but everything with Mizu was subtle. The slight squint beneath her eyes, the upwards curve of her lips, the flush over her cheeks.

“I didn’t go too rough, did I?” You ask, now fidgeting with the cloth of her raggedy tee.

She chuckles at that, adjusting herself so that she could face you until your foreheads touched, a warm flush across her face.

“If that was rough, gentle wouldn’t be enough, now would it?” She says, pinning you down with those eyes that drew. you towards her in the first place.

“So I can go again?”

She pauses for a moment, eyes going wide for the slightest of seconds. You resist the urge to laugh.

“Tomorrow.”

[c-nstellati-ns]

A E H J T X for my boy gabriel/reaper? i love ur writing btw!

thank u <3

reaper - NSFW ALPHABET

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

gabe’s surprisingly sweet! compared to his normally harsh nature, he’s very soft after the deed is done. he doesn’t like being taken care of, but falls into it much quicker than he’d like to admit. unbeknownst to him, he falls into this habit as time passes by- and it just leads him to being clingy with you. he hates thinking about it because originally this was supposed to be a one night stand, nothing more than that,,, but feelings blossomed. now, even when you’re leaving to go grab stuff to clean him up, he uses his enhanced strength to his advantage to pull you close and keep you there. don’t tease him about it though, or else the next time you’ll wake up to a cold bed.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

i headcanon gabriel as closeted bi, so he has a fair amount of experience with women [duhh he had a wife and son] but men,,, not so much. he repressed that part of himself for years before he met jack- and even then, they only ever got as far as blowjobs and handjobs, nothing more than that. in the men department, he knows the very basics, but not much other than that. give him some time to learn though, and he’ll blow your fucking socks off <3

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

i’d say gabe’s fairly well groomed! when he was younger, he was too busy to try and clean himself up more but as he’s gotten older, he’s gotten better with it. his happy trail is a little on the thicker side and is salt n peppery like his facial hair. he has a bit on his chest as well!

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

before he met you, his libido wasn’t as high as it used to be. the chronic pain he goes through often turns him off from wanting to do anything sexual, but he’s found out recently that you changed that it in him. gabriel’s desperate almost, because your hands on him not only light a fire in him but ease his body and mind in a way that he’s never felt before. it’s made it so that he’s even willing to do quickies even in the most risky places, it’s made him a tad bit careless. if you’re both away on a mission, away from each other, gabe is def jerking himself off frequently in an attempt to satiate himself. be prepared to be shoved into a closet the moment he sets his eyes on you because he isn’t leaving until he’s filled and satisfied.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

ABSOLUTELY. i love the thought of gabe being like those ppl that have a wide collection of bad dragon dildos LMFAOO,,, most definitely has one modeled after your dick in there somewhere. seems like the type of freak to enjoy those tentacle, ribbed ones that just rub at all the right spots in him. if he can’t bring any of them with him during a mission that lasts a while, he’ll bring a vibrator with him and that’s it. gabe found that he enjoys sex better when he’s all pent up from nt seeing you for so long. hell, he’ll even send you a few spicy pics just to get you as wound up as he is thinking about you.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

i say he’s fairly big actually- maybe around 8 inches hard? a little on the girthier side with a nice thick vein running on the underside of it. gabe’s probably uncircumcised, but pull back the skin and you’ll see that pretty leaking tip of his. i am going to be putting my desires on this man so therefore he has four smaller jacob’s ladder piercings <3 i love boys with big useless leaking cocks hanging between their legs while they’re being fucked senseless 🤭

[gimletagain]

I’ve learned not to hold out any hope for Harry’s redemption arc though. I don’t know if he feels sorry about any of this.

Exactly, don’t fall with the alleged Harry the victim. He is behind everything with the wife and with his book coming soon, he of course wanted the Netflix show right now, to upstage W.

He really grew up with a chip on his shoulder and he now thinks he is the American Prince, the popular one, where there is no space for W. Like if he is hated in UK, he wants W to be hated in US, he believes it’s his right. He doesn’t want to stop his nonsense just because W was kind with him during the funeral, in fact, Harry believes that was the minimum W could have done after all the alleged offenses W did to him and the pathetic wife. If we are going to believe the rumours about them wanting to move to Bel Air, god, this man is pathetic and pure PR, he wants to be the *Prince of Bel Air’, he is really pushing hard for an identity, but he can’t see that he has none thanks for being just the handbag of the wife and using Diana for everything.

Please, just remember everything, THEY ALWAYS HAD THE PLAN TO LEAVE, since 2018 they were in talks with Quibi, Netflix, Oprah, etc, we are talking about a couple who plans everything (even if the plans are pathetic, they are planned). Soooooo, my guess is that they know that they need to do everything on their hands to keep the link with the RF, because they know the ‘fame is finishing. So what do we have? Again the racist narrative (with the Kennedy award), again the mental health, again the ‘lovely-dobey’ couple (with the documentary, pictures with Amanda Gorman, Elton John video, etc). So, perhaps that article about them wanting a ‘reconciliation’ on 2023 was true, that was the plan, to rebrand themselves as the ‘bigger people’ and continue having the link with The RF, but they never expected the Queen dying. So, according to their plan, they needed to release all the BS this year and on January the memoir, and then later 2023 the reconciliation (to have at least 2-3 more years of front pages with articles about reconciliation, etc). So, they believe Netflix is pissing their plans, that’s why they are putting pressure.

Everything with this couple is a plan, and H is worse than the wife.

Yass.

I occasionally feel for him. I was in a miserable relationship with an emotionally abusive older man in my 20s. During that period I was a pretty miserable c*nt to many of my friends and family, because I felt like my entire emotional existence was dependent on one person (him). But, I was 22 and learned pretty quickly, and I never crossed certain lines.

He’s my age now and I can’t imagine being so actively being a miserable person (or having the energy for it) with all of the gifts that the world had bestowed upon him - healthy children, a family that loved/loves him very much, more money and resources than 99.9% of the world, his health. All of that and he titles his memoir “Spare.” Tells you all you need to know, really.

[archie-gray]

Hello! Can I ask you in your belgium nt capacity about youri tielemans? Is he good/do we rate him? He seems sweet and his stats from the last Belgium game were nuts

hii yes please always ask me about the belgians i’m always happy to talk about them! just a warning that this will be 1) biased bc he’s belgian and i love him and 2) very long and disorganized im going into this with no layout in mind

okay so youri is currently coming off his worst season in a while but don’t let that scare you, he’s actually very good in my opinion. also villa getting him for FREE is the best transfer of this entire window, that’s huge!

a little bit of history on him: he went through the anderlecht youth academy which has been called “the best talent factory in belgium” (romelu lukaku, dries mertens, vincent kompany, marouane fellaini are all big name products of the academy)

he made his first team belgian debut in 2016 at 19 years old. he was one of the youngest guys on the squad then and is now one of the last remaining links between the “golden generation” and the new generation. he was called up to the 2018 world cup squad and played a few matches, most notably in the 2-0 win against england in which he performed well. he helped belgium secure their best ever finish in the world cup and after that has been a regular starter for belgium.

okay now a bit about his playing. he initially started as a defensive midfielder because his long range passing is incredible but after a while switched to being an attacking midfielder because of his impressive shot power, scanning and ability to play with both feet. he can play as either an attacking, central or defensive midfielder but for belgium he usually plays as the first two, not sure what position he played primarily in leicester but i assume the same! he doesn’t have a huge number of g/a to his name but that’s not where he shines, when played in his optimal position he’s a very good support player and chance creator.

i think he’s been pretty overlooked both in the prem and in belgium as well. when opposing fans are worried about leicester for example, we talk more about maddison or barnes, but he was their second best player (according to fotmob) even in his worst season so i think that tells you something. ALSO i just remembered, i’m pretty sure leicester won the FA cup one year because of youri’s absolute screamer of a goal, i’d have to double check that though. he’s also only 26 so getting him for free is such a steal (i’m very jealous i want him at spurs we need to start filling our belgian quota again.)

personality wise i adore him. he’s got such a gorgeous smile like i’m obsessed, he’s always smiling in belgium bts videos :,) he’s a very chill guy, 2 kids and a wife, no big scandals to his name from my knowledge, he’ll blend in nicely with the av squad! a bit on the quieter side in bigger groups of people but that might just be because everyone on the belgium squad are loudmouths lmfao he’s a sweetheart though i love him very much.

i was watching this video the other day with him (he’s the one sitting in the middle) in it, it gives a tiny insight on his personality but more importantly it shows you how pretty his smile is 😌

i can’t think of what else to say but tl:dr, yes we rate him, i think under the right coaching he’ll soar! if you want to talk about anything else regarding him let me know, you can message me or send an ask again i’d love to talk about him some more!!!

[banana-with-a-bow-tie]

Here I comment I received from someone who rejects the New Testament - likely an Orthodox Jew, but I do not know - after me and him discussed about Jesus teaching to eat his flesh and drink his blood and me making him clear:

"It doesn't matter if it is allegory -

What is adultery?

The physical act of stealing a man's wife, or just looking at another mans' wife with lust in your heart?

What is murder?

The physical act like Cain, of murdering an innocent man for my sin, or just hating someone in my heart?

The same NT that commands we drink wine and call it blood - states that it is now a sin to think those things, not just do them.

It doesn't logically follow to use allegory of drinking blood.

Take King David, when his men went to get water they got it, and he dumped it out as allegorically he understood to God it would be like drinking blood.

if it is evil, it is evil. (Isaiah 5:20-23)"

In context makes the blasphemous claim that Christ sinned by telling people to drink his blood and if he really made the allegory, then according to him, he made the allegory to something sinful. I know it's nonsense, but I am not sure if I should respond to those people if they claim such tempting nonsense and reject the NT entirely.

What's even worse is that he once (supposedly) was a Christian and even seemed devout, but eventually turned out to be a tare. Do you think you have a way to refute his comment?

I don’t think it’s worth it. Arguing on the internet only produces indigestion. If you can’t communicate your love and interest in the person, don’t bother refuting them. It isn’t the end of the world if someone is wrong. God can handle the correction in His own timing

[qnewsau]

Holier than thou Barnaby Joyce: self-declared 'dead c*nt'

New Post has been published on https://qnews.com.au/holier-than-thou-barnaby-joyce-self-declared-dead-cnt/

Holier than thou Barnaby Joyce: self-declared 'dead c*nt'

Holier than thou Barnaby Joyce, the former Deputy PM who campaigned to enforce ‘traditional marriage’ while secretly destroying his own by bonking a female staffer almost half his age has been filmed lying on a Canberra street muttering about a ‘dead f*cking c*nt’.

His former mistress and now wife, Vicki Campion, told a reporter that Joyce was talking to her at the time. However, she insisted he was not referring to her as a ‘dead c*nt’.

“No I think he was calling himself one, he likes to self flagellate.”

Joyce’s long political career started in Queensland where he seemed to take former premier Joh Bjelke Petersen as a role model. Like Joh, Barnaby Joyce relentlessly claimed the high moral ground, never giving an inch, even in the face of public exposure. Both loudly proclaimed themselves the best friends farmers ever had while the rural sector declined decade after decade. But not Joh and Barnaby, who both prospered during their long political careers.

(Okay – ‘never giving an inch’ is probably an unfortunate choice of idiom in Joyce’s case.)

Bizarre video emerges reportedly of Barnaby Joyce lying on footpath swearing into his phone looking completely off his face 😂 1/2 pic.twitter.com/BhDsKONxFl

— The Sage (@SarkySage) February 9, 2024

Damage control for self-flagellating ‘dead c*nt’

After video of the former Deputy Prime Minister lying on a dark Canberra street spread on social media, his journalist wife moved quickly into damage control. Andrew Mercado, always an astute observer, noted the ridiculousness of the defence.

Vikki, the Nats and their mates in the right wing press are already downplaying the drunkenness of Barnaby Apparently he is a Good Samaritan who has picked up countless drunks off the street And he hurt his back falling off the planter but like most farmers he didn’t complain

— Andrew Mercado (@andrewmercado) February 9, 2024

No sympathy

Footage of this particular politician in a seemingly drunken state came as a surprise to no one. Rumours of his being drunk in parliament have circulated for years. Some speculated on social media that he suffers from alcoholism and offered that as an excuse for extending sympathy.

But I’m with MFW. Too much harm over too many years. If help was needed, it should have been sought long ago by him or his enablers.

  You know what, witches?

We don’t agree with all the pious folks now tweeting that we shouldn’t laugh at the drunken rorter because alcoholism is a serious issue.

Because while it’s true addiction is a serious medical issue which should be understood and treated without… pic.twitter.com/C1HOogErIQ

— MFW (@MFWitches) February 9, 2024

Over the limit with Barnaby:

Crusader Watch: shithead, bonk ban & traditional marriage.

Marriage Equality Campaigner Rodney Croome Blasts Joyce.

Joyce on marriage & Asian perception.

Was Joyce just tip of traditional marriage hypocrisy iceberg?

For the latest LGBTIQA+ Sister Girl and Brother Boy news, entertainment, community stories in Australia, visit qnews.com.au. Check out our latest magazines or find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and YouTube.

[sasquapossum]

[image: black and white drawing of two wolves, superimposed so that the muzzle of the left-looking one is also the muzzle of the right-looking one in a slightly different pose. It’s easy to flip between seeing one or the other, but hard to see both at once. Credit to https://www.moillusions.com]

I have Schrödinger’s ADHD, and maybe Schrödinger’s Autism as well. Both there and not there, the “truth” for any moment only determined after the fact. For a while now, I’ve been thinking (and occasionally telling others) that I don’t know whether I have either condition or not. In a way it doesn’t matter, because if I do then I clearly have a robust set of coping strategies as well. It certainly does run in my family, especially the men on my father’s side. I have an uncle who was profoundly autistic as a child, but when he was about 20 he must have hit on some way to compensate (with no help from family or therapists so kudos to him) and has totally “passed” ever since. Evaluations are expensive, so why bother if it’s not affecting me too much? Another metaphor that kind of works for the is the good old “two wolves” only in my case it’s ND Wolf and NT Wolf. (I love that image above and might try to get it on a shirt BTW.) They both exist and will always exist. I can choose which one to feed, but the other never goes away. Here are some examples of how this has played out in my life.

In my work, I have gone through periods of what I (vaguely) think of as “heads down” mode - days to weeks of such intense focus on a particular problem that I barely eat, sleep, etc. It was kind of something I could control, but also kind of not: the pull was always there, and I knew I would eventually succumb whether or not I found a productive outlet. Is that ADHD behavior (or perhaps bipolar), or is it just “normal” variation?

When I had a child, I became reluctant to go into a mode where I shut everyone else out, because you can’t (or anyway shouldn’t) shut out your child. Perhaps that’s a warning for my ND friends who might have kids themselves. I might not have too many words to describe it, but it’s a pretty intense struggle.

Similarly, when I retired it was because I just didn’t want to devote those chunks of my life to others’ benefit. I still get a bit carried away, e.g. with archery or resin crafting, but it feels better even though it’s arguably less satisfying intellectually (the programming problems I was known for solving were hard).

When I wore out my second stairclimbing machine and decided that I should find a new kind of exercise, I eventually settled on running. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to stick with it unless I absolutely geeked out on it, so I did. You would not believe how much time I’ve spent thinking about gear and form and routes, but without that I would have quit years ago.

There are other things I carefully avoid because I know they would exceed my ability to pull out. That’s why I don’t play MMOs. I’ve seen them totally suck in my brother (twice) and don’t want that for myself. I’ve seen the same with my wife and Killer Sudoku or Nonograms. I know I have to pace myself with getting into a new TV or book series, or some kinds of video games, because I’ll get totally absorbed into studying the lore underneath. Even in retirement, I don’t feel like I can afford that.

When I replay a social interaction in my mind (itself probably a “not quite normal” thing to do apparently) I experience an odd kind of duality. One moment I’m hyper-aware of how I was consciously thinking and planning my way through it as someone with autism might do. The next moment I’m hyper-aware of how I was handling it intuitively, as a neurotypical person might. Flip, flop, flip, flop. In reality I suppose both elements were present, and everyone has at least a little of both, but I can choose which one to see almost exclusively and that feels weird.

In many ways, these tendencies have been positive for me. “Heads down mode” was great for my career. My obsessive behavior around running has been good for my health. It’s something I have to manage about myself, but that doesn’t mean it’s bad. Neurodivergence is a different ability (or several), not a disability. Its existence should be recognized and respected, not “fixed” or condemned.

I’m not particularly going anywhere with this, really. Just thinking out loud, and I guess crafting long posts like this (like the blog posts I wrote for many years) is another example of not-quite-NT behavior. I just have to, y’know? It’s like an itch I have to scratch, sooner or later. Usually I post the results, but also you wouldn’t believe how much time I’ve spent on stuff that’s still in my drafts. I’ll just close with a couple more images (artists unknown this time) that also illustrate the kind of duality I’m talking about. Enjoy!

[pineapplerightsideupcake]

If I discovered 85% of the people in my industry were trafficked and desperate to escape and I knew I had a huge increase in risk for rape and death and life altering/ruining STDs I would want it shut down yesterday. If my cozy job that isn’t exploitative was the sacrifice a genie needed to free women from prostitution I’d quit my job tonight. I do not want to hear about how sad it is a part time Only Fans woman might lose out on the $14 she makes a month.

I actually don’t give a fuck for the same reason I don’t care to hear from women that “love being an obedient submissive wife”.

A) I don’t buy it and I think it’s yourself that you’re so desperate to convince

B) at some point, we actually do have to say “too bad too sad”. I’m not allowed to fire a gun in my suburban neighborhood even if target practice makes me happy. Because I could shoot somebody. I risk harming other people. The level of individualism in the west is out of control. (I don’t actually own a gun this is an example)

C) Sis, it’s opening yourself up to strange men that call you a dirty slut 200x a day and nitpick your body until you get an eating disorder. The human brain is terrible at compartmentalizing. That shit WILL follow you around. It will make you less confident, it will make you see basic kindness as a huge gift instead of the bare minimum. It will destroy your relationship with your body. You cannot spend six hours a day making sure your asshole is camera ready so a sixty year old man can call you a “fat ugly c*nt” while he tugs on his crusty little chode and have it not affect your life and your sense of self.

That’s literally the point though? These women lose their jobs because their industry is made illegal, like anyone else would lose their income if their industry was made illegal. Like yes they’re dependent on their income like anyone else who works a job

the point is that a free choice can only be considered as such when there are several attainable and viable alternatives, like a job with a similar income and working schedule. if all women in prostitution chose it freely and remain in there freely there have to be real alternatives or its not a real choice. which in the sexual context leads to sexual exploitation and a questionable consent at best

[fodenswhore]

What I think the England NT players would be like on a night out together…

lol as i’m writing this england are getting beat 1-0 against italy xxxxx

jordan henderson

one of the dads. his partying days are long gone, you won’t catch him getting mortal. he’ll have a few pints but will leave it at that - he doesn’t want to disappoint the missus. you’ll find jordan in the corner of the pub/club with harry maguire and harry kane (the other dads) observing the rest of the lads and making sure they don’t get into too much trouble.

harry kane

harry is the head dad so he sticks to soda water or pepsi instead of alcohol. he’ll be the one to wrap things up at the end of the night and make sure everyone gets home safely. he’d probably be the only sober one out of all the lads tbf.

harry maguire

the final dad. big hazza would have one or two pints and would sip them slowly so that they last. you wouldn’t find him on the dance floor as the only dance move i reckon he’d be able to master would be the shuffle. he’d definitely message his wife with hourly updates and send her photos of his half finished pint captioned with the ‘👍🏻’ emoji to show that he was being sensible.

jack grealish

does. not. know. his. limit. jack would definitely be the most shitfaced out of the group. he’d be throwing back shots like it’s water and then he’d encourage everyone around him to join him. he’d end up with a killer hangover in the morning but would have absolutely no regrets and would be out the following weekend doing it all over again.

mason mount

mason basically just acts more and more like a child the more drunk he gets. 100% takes over the dance floor with dec causing the rest of the group to laugh and shake their heads. is always up for doing shots even though he knows he shouldn’t. is most likely to be the one throwing up in the toilets.

declan rice

mason 2.0 except maybe worse. dec sober is chaotic so imagine him drunk😭 absolutely tears up the dance floor and demands that ‘ice ice baby’ is played every two minutes. his go to dance move is doing knee slides across the floor like a kid at a school disco.

ben chilwell

loves the sesh. is the type of drunk to lose his phone on a night out and not realise until the morning after. doesn’t dance but loves a good sing along. will most likely be sorting his hair out in the toilet mirror whilst mason throws up.

kyle walker

everyone avoids him bc when kyle gets drunk he just talks utter shit. like way more than usual. if he manages to rope anyone into conversation he’ll just waffle on about literally anything and ask stupid philosophical questions like ‘what is the meaning of life?‘ or ‘do you think we live in a simulation?’

john stones

john gets more merry than drunk if that makes sense. basically, he drinks more than the dads but doesn’t drink as much as jack, mason and the young lads. he tends to avoid the dance floor however if valerie by amy winehouse comes on he’s up in a flash dragging kyle with him.

jordan pickford

pickford’s definitely a bit of a moody arse until he’s loosened up and had a few drinks. i think he’d be a bit like john, not too drunk but definitely not sober. when he’s had a drink i reckon jordan would make conversation with anyone, he seems like he’d be a good laugh. if he does get really drunk he’d be in the middle of the dance floor requesting hardcore drill songs.

phil foden

phil would definitely get ID’d multiple times throughout the night. he’d end up having to get the other lads to buy his drinks for him just to save the hassle of explaining his age. jack would definitely take the piss out of him for it, i can imagine him saying something like ‘awww is ickle phil too young to drink?’.

trent alexander arnold

sticks with the dads. you won’t get him on the dance floor but he does try to persuade hendo to have a little dance. trent doesn’t look like he’d drink beer so i reckon he’d drink lager or cider instead. or maybe gin idk. he’d convince the DJ to play dua lipa and then - only then - would he have a sing along.

[daydreamingleclerc]

what i think the england NT would sing at karaoke and why (as a university student who’s department does karaoke nights on a thursday evening):

jordan henderson

song: no one by alicia keys

this man claims he is alicia keys’ number one fan, but this song comes on at the annual England National Team Karaoke Night and he is facing the screen the entire time because he doesn’t know the words, but he claims it’s stage fright. he dedicates it to his wife because he’s that kind of husband and his deep, enthralling voice makes everyone in that bar get their lighters out by the end of the song.

declan rice

song: body (remix) by tion wayne & russ

this was always going to be declan’s obvious karaoke choice and despite it being his number one played song of 2021 on his spotify wrapped, he still only knows the first fifty seconds, and repeats it throughout the entirety of the next three minutes and forty five seconds. mason is the only one left on the dance floor but he leaves in tears at the end after dec dedicates the song to his one true love —jarod bowen.

jesse lingard

song: you’re welcome from moana

jesse didn’t want to get up and sing moana, if he had his way he would of sang a lovely bit of michael jackson but he couldn’t find a babysitter on such short notice and so hope was his date to karaoke and she forced her dad to get up and sing moana just for her. after the first minute jesse sinks into the song and ends up choreographing a fully fleshed out routine then and there on the stage which has everyone — but marcus who’s seen it seven times already — mesmerised.

harry kane

song: when a man loves a woman by percy sledge

grandad’s been let out of the retirement home for one night and already he’s sending everyone to sleep. he thinks he’s the next frank sinatra when in reality he’s no better than dave the bin man who lives next door but no one has the heart to tell him that. the only person interested in him all night is gareth, his wife’s snuck off to drink vodka cranberries in the smoking shelter wearing a big puffy coat provided by philly foden so he doesn’t recognise her just for a minutes peace.

kyle walker

song: don’t you want me baby by the human league

kyle’s a romantic so when he steps up to the mic and dedicates the song to his boyfriend john everyone — including annie — swoons and sings along. he only knows the chorus so when the verses come on he begins monologging about all the times him and john have spent together and takes his tequila sunrise up onto the stage with him even though he’s a Known Spiller, and john has to talk him down off of the stage before he starts to cry.

tyrone mings

song: proud mary by tina turner

tyrone is a lover of the classic things in life, and so he’s chosen to sing one of the classic karaoke bangers, which automatically brings some life into the party after grandad’s second rendition of when a man loves a woman. mason’s doing the dance movement with one of ben’s crutches in the corner and conor is so proud he shed’s a tear.

marcus rashford

song: passionfruit by drake

he wanted to sing cake by the ocean by DNCE but it wasn’t until grealo told him the what the meaning of eating cake by the ocean actually was that he decided to avoid the song. marcus has some glorious pipes and he’s not ashamed to put them to use with this glorious rendition of passionfruit that’s so beautiful it makes everyone rush to the bar for a shot of passionfruit vodka.

john stones

song: wonderwall by oasis

it’s the third karaoke night in a row john’s put this one in, and it’s only the first time it’s been picked out of the hat. in his eyes — and rightly so — wonderwall is on par with bohemian rhapsody when it comes to karaoke, and when he gets up to sing it he makes everyone gather into one big circle on the floor and wrap their arms around one another as he does his best liam gallagher impression at the microphone.

[quiet-in-the-wild]

Gender an unmasking as a late diagnosed autistic is very interesting. As I’ve been unmasking slowly over the past year or so (I honestly don’t know how long it’s been this pandemic has messed with how I conceptualize time) I’ve noticed that performing my gender is completely tied to my masking.

As a kid my special interests were all common feminine interests, barbies, Polly pockets, mermaids and fairies, pink and glittery stimmy toys, drawing, Disney movies. So I didn’t have anything to mask. I Loved it and I loved who I was (until I started getting bullied and excluded in elementary school but that’s a different story) but anyway if that’s what being a girl was in the 90s I was all about it.

As a teen I was very aware that the more feminine I was- the more positive attention I got- and the more my social struggles, or even learning disabilities were ignored. I wasn’t viewed as awkward and unaware - I was just shy and sweet. So I pushed into that character for my mask (whether it was conscious or not) I had boyfriends, I perfected my early 2000s hair and makeup, I tried so hard to be what a teen girl was supposed to be but it felt hollow and hard to keep up.

At the start of college I realized I was gay. And I despite never feeling 100% comfortable around the other queer people at my school (I think it’s because they were super NT- or just super extraverted) I really loved the idea of being a woman who loved other women. It was 100% a mask too - not that I’m not queer. But I now had an image to construct of a new type of woman I could be. One that was divergent. But still I felt like it wasn’t completely me. Again it felt one note. I have always felt like I am a multifaceted person filled with contradictions (hello autism + adhd)

Now I think gender fluid or non binary fits me better. My wife used to always say that she just felt like a human- not a woman or a man just a person and I get that. I feel it too. It’s freeing to not have those social and internalized constructs of how your supposed to present yourself. This isn’t to say that my gender never felt authentic to who I am - it’s more that now I am aware that identifying as a just a woman was a part of my mask.

So I guess this is my coming out post. I didn’t make one when I realized I was gay 12? years ago- it was just written out in some journal.

But still prefer she/ her pronouns. They/them is fine too. But now that I’ve reflected I know that MY she/her isn’t stifling or false mask I use to hide myself. It’s fluid and authentic to who I am. It’s multifaceted and full of contradictions.

[soulvomit]

Something that is coming up for me in my writing is that I’ve had to confront some stuff about the pushback on the trope of the man who loses his wife and goes on a quest or revenge kick, like, we just don’t empathize with that guy. Even though he has lost his entire world. Even though he has lost the one person he’s connected to. We don’t empathize with him. He isn’t deserving of our understanding. The world he’s from is fundamentally alien to most NT women, who aspirationalize (and can better count upon) having social networks and family support. But the man who’s lost his wife, his life is over.  Yet. I empathize with that guy, and it’s interesting to me writing basically the same arc (for half of my work) with an autistic female character whose one real connection *is* her late spouse, then being powerfully drawn into a psychologically complex interaction with another “this is the only person who gets me” person. 

And I think lots of NT women can’t wrap their minds around this dynamic as pertains to tropes about men, because they expect (and feel entitled to) such a basic baseline of connection/understanding from most NT women.  

And if I lost my partner, I would find my life very very difficult in lots of meaningful ways besides just the companionship/sex/fun he brings to my life which according to our culture and zeitgeist of the last couple of decades, are easily replaceable if you’re a Cool Enough Person, right? (How does that even work for anyone my age or older? I feel like lots of Boomers are in a shit situation right now if they based their life around 70s cultural ideals, if they’re not actually rich enough to just stay Fucking Cool Enough Forever. Coolness is a middle class cultural trap that leaves you high and dry once your sexy parts start sagging, and your time as a consumer is over.)

And post-1970s psychology can’t wrap its mind around this, either. Someone who’s that dependent upon one person or even just their family, instead of leaning heavily into a group of platonic or casually-sexual upper middle class peers and having lots of fucking commercially groovy fun all the time, that was a major values change that younger people (including many in my own age group) don’t really connect to their Silent Generation and older relatives over and some more trad-ish Boomers.

Like, one reason no one can convince my mom that her autistic-shaped life is abnormal is because to her, just being into your partner and kids and kinda hiding behind your husband and having only a handful of superficial interactions (maybe one good woman friend, who is often a neighbor or something) is really really normal and nothing shameworthy. I’ve talked before about how she sees herself as normal because she gets to be normal. And there is a lot I can’t talk to her about regarding my life because basically her solution to anything would be that I should make some life choice or structure my life in some way that is only available to women in the 1970s-80s (which is the cultural sweet spot - during and right after women’s lib/the Sexual Revolution/the Civil Rights Movement, but before the complete loss of the American middle class). 

This was a ramble that didn’t really go anywhere I’m sorry

[deviliciousdev]

appreciation post for the types✨

from your local intp🖤

------------------------

✨The Sensors✨

estj (the executive)

Oh the executive, the most organized and loud boss bitch to ever exist. You cut through the bullshit and do not let anything stand in your way. And yet, like you're intuitive counter part (entj) you are quite sensitive if and when something hurts your feelings. Even though you're an expert at being all business during business hours, you still know how to have fun. and omg you have such a dorky sense of humor and love random facts, we love that. you are/can/will be a great leader/parent. All in all you are THEE boss and everyone knows it. keeping leading and kicking ass. 👏🏼

estp (the entrepreneur)

i absolutely adore estp's. you are the epitome of one of my fav character arcs. which is the charismatic rogue, who possibly drinks a lil more than they should, but can handle their liquor like a sailor (amazingly). you never back down from a challenge. you are so fun and wild in a han solo type of way, that just makes everyone want to be around you. but the best thing about you, is the way (deep down & to those you let close know) you are actually such a sweetheart. you would get hit by a bus trying to rush to make sure a friend is ok. you would take a bullet for any of your loved ones and let them cry on your shoulder. you're secretly the white knight but you're happy to let everyone think you're just the brash rogue. you're one of my best friends and someone i will adore with all my heart till the end of time.💕

p.s if you don't have an estp in your life, get one ASAP. they are a necessity for a complete friend group.

istj (the logistician)

oof, yes istj's. so sublet in their charm, and ready to die for what they believe in. i love the istj because you have two of an intp's fav qualities at your core. badassery & humility. you're like this pillar of certainty. even if you are uncertain about something, no one would ever be able to tell. you have a way of decision making that's not loud or overwhelming. which is why intp's love when you plan things.  you're also quiet at first, but if you're challenged, you would never let someone walk all over you or something/someone that matters to you. i also love that you're one of the types (alongside infp & entj) that is sooo funny and goofy when you're drunk. like a lil toddler. #adorable

istp (the engineer)

ahhhh, the intp's sensing counter part. istp's fucking rule. truly. you believe in many of the same principles intps do. the main one being, keeping an open mind without fore fitting you're own beliefs. your exterior calm and collected nature makes you cool af. AND you also have such a FANTASTIC sense of sarcastic humor. like yes bitch. i love the way intps are the idealists and istps are the doers. if an istp and intp got together, ooof the world better beware the chaos that would ensue. also you guys have thee COOLEST fictional characters. the first one that always comes to mind is Arya Stark from Game of Thrones. like suchhhhhhh a badass who also roasts literally EVERY single person in that show no matter if it's the fucking leader of the house you're at war with. out of all the types i think you would be the best assassin. to sum up i think the word i always relate to you is... cool. 😎 like plain and simple. 💀🤘🏼

p.s let's be partners in crime. 😁🚨🚓

esfj (the consul)

ok, ok, so first things first, because you are so opposite of the intp, i know we can butt heads sometimes. the main reason this happens is because nt's will see you're want to make others happy as a negative. HOWEVER, as i have gotten to know and respect an esfj as they are a part of my family (irl). i can say that the perceived notion of esfj's wanting to please everyone to get them to like them is a bit misguided. while esfjs DO want everyone to be happy, it's not always about being the popular kid. it's actually because they care about others. AND not just others but like situations. they really care if a party or a dinner is going smoothly. because they want events and people to have an enjoyable time and be happy. so esfj's I SEE YOU. and i genuinely appreciate how much you care about even the smmmmallest things. you are very dependable and high key you've taught me a lot. like how/why it's important to always say please and thank you. and you showed me that having emotions (like being nervous) isn't a weakness and it actually shows us what's important. esfj's are HIGHLY underrated, and much more wise than anyone gives you credit for.

p.s you are so much fun to prank and you always give as good as you get. 🤘🏼

esfp (the entertainer)

holy shit. that's all i can think when i think of the memories we share. we somehow bring out the worst/best in one another. you and infp are the ones i tell first when i get good news because i know you'll hype me the fuck up. we have sooooooooooo much fun together. you are so absolutely awesome and one of my best friends in the whole wide world. if i have a passing random idea, YOU WILL DO IT. i can be like "wouldn't it be funny if someone got on the hood of the car and twerked" and you're hilarious crazy ass will literally jump out of the car and do it. just because it's funny. you can party soooo hard, like rockstar level. you 100% need you're own reality show. your presence makes my introverted self feel more confident even when i'm at my lowest. with all that chaotic-ness said, you are actually a REALLY good parent/s.o?? such a crazy bitch, but also wife material?? like are you real?? anywayyyyy, just wanna say esfp's are the bad bitches of the types (no gender intended, bitches is gender neutral). and i can't wait for our next adventure. 🤩💜

isfj (the defender)

ok so even though you're a feeling type, i would have to say you're the most logical out of ALL the feeling types. i think it comes from you're mama bear (no specific gender intended) core. you don't put up with anyone's shit when it comes to those you care about. and dayummm will you fuck someone up (metaphorically and literally) if they come for your loved ones. you are VERY intelligent and people often underestimate you. the word that comes to mind when i think about isfjs is... resolve. your resolve in the face of hardship is so inspiring and something to be feared. i really love the way you seem so chill and even sweet and gracious and then it's like... oh fuck mamas here... but you don't even have to raise your voice to get your point across. like the istj, you've got a certainty and loyalty that intp's lovvveee. we never have to guess where you're loyalties are, because you don't just say, you show, through real actions. and we love that. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼🐻

isfp (the adventurer)

oh the isfp, no one and i mean no one can match the intp's weird out of the box thinking like you. can. you view the world in SUCH a unique way. you not only see things in deep meaningful aesthetics, but you make them a reality. you love to push the envelope of what are perceived social normals. and we lovvvvvvve that shit. you're life can be so out there, but you still respect and can make friends with just about anyone. you're so sweet and creative. and you always show me something sooooo interesting. a hidden gem, a beautiful view spot, a hole in the wall place to eat. you've got that thing that xntp's sort of fall head over heels for, but in a subtle way to where we don't even realize it. and you can make time the illusion it actually is, not even noticing that we've been hanging out for like 12 hours, because it felt like 30 minutes. and omg talk about talented! anything that requires creativity you are always so good at, like wtf?? 😂👏🏼 i will end this by saying; you're simultaneously the most tranquil yet exciting person i've ever met. and truly one of a kind. keep doing exactly what you're doing and i can't wait to see what you come up with next.

p.s you are my top choice, to go to Bali & Tulum with✨🤍☯️

[hardtchill]

lol you have some intense anons (they sound like stans) coming at you. If I was Tobin, getting called up to this NT camp isn’t my priority. Staying healthy & not re-injuring to help Arsenal go as far as possible in CL & try to win the league would be top priority. Vlatko took her to the Olympics with her barely being back from a major injury, he knows what he’s getting from her. I don’t think she’s at full fitness rn. It seems to make the most sense to sit out this fifa window, rest up for the last stretch of WSL season. Just my take 🤷🏻‍♀️

Same. I just don't see the benefit of her going to camp when she is barely back from injury and still isn't 100% ready to play. Like what is she going to lose by not going? Hugs from the wife (i agree that is tragic) and team bonding, but a lot of the players who will play in the world cup aren't even going to be there. Who is she bonding with exactly, her wife? Alex Morgan? Sure, you can make a case for Sophia and Cat but i really don't buy that this camp is as crucial as people seem to think it is.

If she is 100% healthy and trains/plays at full capacity then sure take her, but she just isn't. Risking yet another injury by calling her in before she is ready just sounds like a bad idea, especially when the benefit of going to this camp seems very very limited.

[sly-merlin]

okey dokey! I'm gonna be a father!

Requesting pregnant reader scenarios, wanna see more of the guys’ duality balancing domesticity and impending fatherhood, and running the world, ya know 🙏🏾😎🤔😀 Just throwing the idea out there since you said we could. Y’know things like ‘I’m trying to leave to set up a meeting but her back is sore & she wants ice cream so one of u needs to suddenly be available. now’ & other things ig. I imagined Ty Kun, John Jae or Kun in as leader & probably hc or jaemin as the wife-sitters (lol)

Since you didn’t specify the unit,I did this with the few members from hyung line. This got so long that I ran out of ideas so let me know if you want me to write for some other members.  though j incorporated your ideas but i based it on the concept of them managing the treats in both hands. This is my first time doing reactions so leave some feedback if you wish! Have a nice day everybody.

(7 members) Ft. Taeil, johnny, taeyong, yuta, ten, jaehyun + kun

TAEIL 

"Let me message you back!" Taeil whispered into the phone and raised his body to observe your sleeping form. Your head was securely resting on his arm and he let out a relieved sigh as it was one of the few Lucky days when you were not thrashing around in your sleep. Day after day, you were getting uncomfortable with your heavy belly and all he could ever do was keep you company in your frustrations. He couldn't risk waking you up so he tried his best to complete the task in the painful position. He fidgeted with the phone for it was impossible to handle a 6 inch of metal device with one hand. Struggling with the grip for a few more seconds, he finally managed to send johnny a message regarding the inquiry.

Ask tae He has ab eztra key 2 my ofice.

Maybe he should turn his autocorrect on for situations like this!

Thinking his work was done, he locked the phone. just when he was about to put it on the nightstand on a blind guess, it vibrated again! 

John: He is out! You need to come asap.

He stopped to watch out for any movement from your side and when there was none, he shifted to his phone again.

Nt my pblm. 

He couldn't understand why johnny was being so persistent when everyone was under strict orders to not call him after 10 p.m unless someone was dying!

John: Jungwoo is in trouble with police. I need his fake ID!

Taeil’s scoffed a bit too loudly causing you to stir.  He paused in his actions only to continue when he noticed your even breathing. Weighing the options, he concluded that Jungwoo must have forgotten to pay for the food again or something like that otherwise if it was work related then johnny would have been screaming at his door and not through the phone.

Not his 1st time. dw too much. Jst send him some food so he wont cry like last tym.

He deserved that much punishment! With that he switched the device off and wrapped his arm around your waist, returning to the warmth he got to experience only at night times.

JOHNNY

You were on edge since the day you got yourself tested. You could blame it on the suddenly changing hormones or the never present johnny but one thing was sure that you were missing him more than ever. Johnny on the other hand, avoided going back home for the sole reason of finding himself incapable of taking care of you and his dangerous job. That’s why he had assigned hendery to be at your beck and call. He was a medic and since the other medical emergencies could be handled by xiaojun and renjun, hendery had no problem in spending some time with you. His company was full of funny stories of other members and silly jokes. Despite his endless efforts to distract you, the thought that your daughter’s father was missing the growth of his own child always remained at the back of your head. You couldn’t understand how all of a sudden his workload had increased so much that he barely had any time to even see your face let alone talk to you for a few minutes. But all your worries vanished the day he returned and sarcastically ordered hendery to show his donkey self out of his house to never come back again.

“I managed to prepone some important weapon deals”, he bowed gracefully to acknowledge his own achievements, making you chuckle at him, “and I’ve been rewarded with three months of holidays so I shall be spending these months making up for the lost time and creating new memories” he completed, kissing your forehead.

"I never said I need you 24/7. A few hours at most would do John" you said, knowing how his absence would affect the black neos. 

"Yeah. But then I realised what if my baby girl mistakes hendery for her father. Can't let that happen now yeah!" 

Masked under jokes, you were very well aware of the real reasons behind the toil he had subjected himself to! It was all for you and your baby girl and you knew he would do it again and again even if it meant the end of his life!

TAEYONG

 From sharp cold deadly glare to the dragon tattoo that adorned his neck and arms, fellow criminals had every reason to fear this man. His name, in the underworld, screamed  cursed royalty. But that was Lee taeyong, leader of black neos.

The taeyong standing right in front of you, struggling with multiple boxes of boards was anything but scary. Cladded in baby blue hoodie and black boxers, he was reading the manual, knocking down the structure again and again as he repeatedly found something missing from it. 

"Leave it tae. I can complete this later on. Come and eat now." You whined and suggested while taking bites from the creamy pasta he had prepared earlier. 

"what do you mean i can complete this later on. Do you find me incapable of making a crib?"

Yes you did!

But that was not the answer you could give when he was clearly trying his hardest. It was indeed baffling as to why the man who could assemble a weapon with his left hand was unable to join the pieces of a crib with both!

"No tae. You were out for three days so maybe you are just too tired to concentrate!" You explained in the politest way possible that clearly didn't reach him properly. He let out an audible gasp at what felt for him to be the accusatory tone.

"Eat your pasta and watch me complete this in half an hour! You'd regret saying that to me!"

Why was he the one with mood swings?

Just like other bubbling thoughts, you gulped down this one too and nodded enthusiastically, giving him a thumbs up as if you would never doubt his capabilities.

But you knew, he might have started the task but he was surely not going to be the one to complete it!

YUTA

“How about sakura?” hyuck suggested. Looks of disapproval were exchanged across the room and sound of mark hitting hyuck’s arm resonated in the living room.

“Cliche!” jaehyun laughed.

“Yes. We aren't naming our daughter sakura and that is final. She’s one of a kind and her name should also be!” you announced your arrival in the room and sat on the floor, making yourself comfortable between yuta’s legs. He wrapped his arms around your belly before leaning his neck to greet you with a sweet cheek kiss.

“Yes. What y/n wants, y/n gets. No sakura!” he held his one hand up in the air, forbidding any further discussion on the name.

"That's not fair!" Hyuck whined only to be dismissed by a wave from you.

"Just because it's not hyuck's choice doesn't mean that you have got right to choose by yourself. The baby is a part of this family so we get to decide what's best for her!" Ten exclaimed loudly getting everyone’s attention.

“How about ayaka?” kun suggested, entering the room with a trolley full of snacks. As the recommendations poured in, the snacks were passed to everyone. Days like these were rare and from the past two months, these rare days were spent daydreaming about the very first child in the black neos house.

“Akira? It’s quite universal you know.” mark joined in, reading the meaning of the name in different cultures and languages.

“Haru”

“No kai!” 

Somewhere in the conversation, yuta’s hands had travelled from your tummy to your sides. He knew the little brushes of his fingers had started to work on you as you swatted his hand away with yours. It only encouraged him and he tickled you on your sides more and more, getting the desired reaction. Your body being more sensitive and responsive than usual, you wiggled in his arms and squealed loudly enough to get everyone’s attention. Suddenly his hands stopped as he heard a whiny shout.

“Why are you bugging her?” hyuck hollered, “can’t you sit still for once? Let her breathe for a freaking second. You wanna tickle! Tickle me. Come tickle me but Don’t bother her!” 

You were aware of hyuck’s sudden outbursts of protection for you but this was truly something new! And you new tickles were not the reasoning behind his irritation. Sakura was!

“Le-let’s play a game”, kun interrupted before haechan’s frustration would land him into some trouble with the elder, “we’ll write all the suggestions into paper and whichever y/n chooses would be final. How does it sound?” 

Everyone hummed along to the idea. Looking over at Hyuck, you noticed a sudden glint in his eyes that spoke trouble. He was clearly planning something evil and until it was all fun and games, you had no trouble for his intentions.

“Since when did you get a bodyguard hmm?” yuta whispered, planting another wet kiss on your right cheek. 

“Yua.” you said.

“What?”

“We are naming her yua! When are you gonna tell them that i’ve already decided!” leaning backwards, you said in a hushed voice meant only for his ears.

“When they are tired enough to play any more games. Till then, let’s have fun. Look at hyuck, he’s surely gonna cheat and mark and renjun are going to strangle him.” yuta chuckled against your ear, making you laugh again. Life was good!

TEN

“Xiaojun! Xiaojun! Show yourself you good for nothing potato!” you winced at the volume of ten’s voice. Even though he was outside the room, his vocals were irritating. But you held your tongue from scolding him as he was the only one you could rely on at the moment. 

“Xia-

“Did bella bite you again? why are you shouting at-” xiaojun squinted at the wall clock and adjusted his glasses, “at 5:30a.m?”

“Half of the world is up you hibernating bear! y/n is craving ice-cream. You know better than to refuse her so go to her. Your service starts right now.” 

Xiaojun scoffed and remained glued to the stairs. Ten raised a brow questioning him but instead of answering him xiaojun came up with one of his own.

“And why aren’t you going?” 

“Switchblade prince is called so I gotta go. I don’t think you want her to wait!.”

Xiaojun groaned when ten shot him a wink and left the living room. Of course he had no trouble in tending to your demands which as a medic, he understood very well but ten’s cockiness wasn’t something he was ever ready to handle.

“y/n! What does our prince wanted to eat this early in the morning?” he smiled at you, plopping down on the edge of the bed.

“Apples and bananas.” 

“I meant what ice cream flavour do you want?”

“Ice cream? Who said ice cream? I want bananas.” you answered him, confused at his confusion!

It was only then that xiaojun realised that switchblade prince was never called in the first place. Ten had fled. Due to fruits! He was contemplating as to what extent he should be manipulating ten’s words while telling you about his betrayal when you spoke up.

“Umm. i guess we can eat mint chocolate as well. I’ll eat a banana chocolate sandwich first then we can both watch a movie and finish the ice cream. What do you say?”

Ok!  Maybe revenge could wait. Ice cream would be a priority here! 

JAEHYUN

If your husband was cocky, you were seriously too many steps ahead of him and it has taken only 10 days for jaemin to realise that you were just jae's cup of tea and no one else's, at least not as a 4 months pregnant woman. 

"Why are you sitting on the floor?" Jaehyun laughed at jaemin sprawled on the floor like a toddler. 

"Noona screamed at me" jaemin mumbled, hiding his face in his neck.

"Oh jaemin! Why did she do it? Were you teasing her again. You know that she doesn't take sarcasm too we-

"No. She threw up the food i made for her and that too thrice since yesterday. I got angry so i told her to eat up or else i won't be making anymore for her. She threw the pillow at me and ordered me to never talk to her again! I mean it's not like i was showing real anger! She's hungry since yesterday. If she won't eat up then she'd be sick. What did I do wrong! Now I made her favourite pasta and she won't open the door for me."

Jaehyun sighed and crouched down to jaemin's level. He knew your emotions weren't in your control anymore but jaemin wasn't wrong either. He was just doing what was right for you and unintentionally, you had ended up hurting the poor boy. Jaehyun patted jaemin's hair before he told him to inform taeyong about his possible absence from the upcoming meetings and activities.

"You can't do that." Jaemin said the obvious.

"Do you want her to eat or not!" Jaemin frantically nodded at him before running off to the main office.

Heating up the pasta, jaehyun made his way to your shared bedroom in black neos. 

"Baby open up it's me!" He knocked at the door and hearing his voice,you immediately opened it. 

"You are here!" You exclaimed, feeling beads of moisture in the corner of your eyes.

"Aww. Now is not the time to cry." He cooed, entering the room with the tray. Placing it on the coffee table, he turned around and hugged you just the way he missed you.

"I'm sorry for being occupied and only coming back at night. But I'm here for a few days so let's get you all happy like a seal!" He laughed, ruffling your hair.

"I-i yelled at jaemin for no reason." You confessed not being aware that he was already filled in by the younger boy. 

"You wanna apologize?" You nodded as he squished your cheeks in his hands and leaned in to kiss your pouty lips. 

"Later on! Now's the time for evening lunch and getting this food in your tummy without it backfiring!" 

You laughed at how smoothly he eased your worries. After eating properly, you apologised to jaemin which he accepted but not before crying like a little boy he was!

Bonus :

KUN

"Yangyang what the heck are you doing near y/n. I told you to keep your meaningless books away from her!" Kun felt like his blood pressure would shot up anytime soon.

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh really? What's the book that you are reading to her?"

"How to walk like a pro when you are only 2 months old! I want the baby to be high class like me."

Kun's hands found refuge in his hair as he groaned at the boy. Now he needed to read all the books that could possibly reverse yangyang's teachings.

"There is no such book available."

"Yeah that's why i wrote it by myself. Pulled an all nighter but when the baby would start walking at only 2 months of age, you'd thank me!"