#(i do still love that fic and everything and i have stuff written and outlined and planned... but you know life)
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You created the BEST Azgeda that a fan of The 100 (King Roan) could have ever dreamed of, did you know that? Thank you for providing what the show didn't.
#blackcatking
Thank you so much! ❤️ Yeah, the show didn't give me what I wanted so I had to make it myself but I am so glad it also pleases others, such as you. :D
#ask#answered#Anonymous#Roan#Roan of Azgeda#Azgeda#The 100#(one of these days i might MIGHT get the time and energy to post some more of the ice king and the star boy)#(not today alas)#(i do still love that fic and everything and i have stuff written and outlined and planned... but you know life)
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i just recently discovered your soulmate au and i loves it so much. so incredibly intriguing and well written and damn is it hot 🔥 thanks so much for sharing with us. in your mind, does it have a happy ending for them?
also wanted to ask if you'll be checking in to see the big warrior nun announcement coming tomorrow?
Ahhhh thank you! This ask is kind of tragic now given how everything with Warrior Nun ended up going, but I thought I'd use it as a way to share my ideas for the rest of a beggar in the morning, if anyone is interested in learning how it was going to go. Long story short, it was going to have a happy ending. :)
Here's a full outline for what I had in mind for the second half of the fic. Under the cut because it's very detailed in the parts that I'd started writing. Also in case anyone cares about spoilers? At the moment, I don't plan on finishing this fic, but I do plan on returning to writing in general, so guess there's a non-zero chance that I could come back to it. Stranger things have happened.
Beatrice keeps looking for the recipient of the Letter she's been trying to deliver and starts taking trips out into the countryside. She takes Ava's advice and takes to enjoying the journey - stopping into small cafes for lunch rather than eating in the car, taking the long way when it means she can enjoy a new view, etc.
During one of these side quests, she's told about a man who lives way off in the middle of nowhere who has the last name of Reis (the last name of the Letter recipient: Lara Reis), and she tracks him down. He had a sister who had a child with someone who was not her Match. I wanted to go more into what this looks like (and how the church is still anti-abortion in this world, because they think this could potentially ruin a future match, cue eye-roll) but in this case, the woman was basically run out of town. The man directs Beatrice to an orphanage where the child was raised.
This trail eventually goes cold because the orphanage has no records of the girl. They only know she left when she became of age.
The end of chapter six is basically Beatrice being frustrated and taking some 'advice' from Lilith to find someone to fuck hfkjshlk so she goes to the bar and ohhh nooo Ava is working that night, filling in for someone. Ava gets jealous, Bea does some shots, and it's basically a rehash of the lemon drop scene from the show, but hornier. Eventually, they make out, and decide to be friends with benefits.
Chapter 7 was honestly just going to be porn. lol. It's actually some of the first stuff I wrote for this fic - just a page of porn. Beggar came out of a Secret Santa fic exchange, and my friend Alex asked for lots of sex and a soulmate au. So... Chapter 7 was the payoff (part 2). Here's a few disjointed scenes, in case anyone is interested in reading some unedited very E-rated stuff.
A few months go by and all the nuns visit Beatrice for her bday and they're like huh so what's going on here and Beatrice has to pretend that it's not that serious with Ava (lol). I also wanted to do a conversation between Shannon and Beatrice where Shannon talks about the whole Mary thing and loving someone against the will of god (or at the very least, in the very gray areas).
The end of chapter seven is Ava finally talking about her past, which is that Ava doesn't remember hers. She woke up in a hospital without her memories and then spent the next decade traveling around trying to find something that felt like home.
In chapter 8, a lot of time passes, and the fucking continues. Beatrice is kind of losing it, poor girl.
I hadn't exactly decided what was going to happen next, but Ava was going to overstep in some way (or in some perceived way) and Beatrice was going to panic. Either Beatrice was going to have a brief thought about being in love, they were going to have reallyyyy soft sex, or something like that, but either way, Beatrice was going to have to admit she has deeper feelings for Ava than what's allowed allowed, so she goes back to Spain and ignores Ava's texts/calls/etc.
Eventually she realizes she owes Ava closure. She comes back and kind of explains why she's reacted the way she has. She gets more into why she joined the church and it's not for God or the Church itself, but because she does genuinely believe that love itself is holy. She admits she's falling in love with Ava, but she can't break her vows. She believes giving into her feelings would be putting herself above the whole history of love... the sanctity of the entire universe... and to be that selfish would be monstrous.
There's a callback to their early game of three questions, and how Ava still owes Beatrice one answer. Beatrice nearly asks if Ava loves her, but pulls back because she's scared of the answer. They basically break up, but Ava tells Bea to let her know when she's ready to ask her last question.
Beatrice takes it HARD. She buries herself in her work and starts visiting hospitals in various towns. She finds a Spanish doctor and he recognizes the number (or rather, the system behind the number) that is on Letter Beatrice is still trying to deliver. He tells Beatrice she's not looking for a hospital in Portugal, but rather in Spain - one in a small town in Andalusia. He mentions a patient who was in a coma, who woke up without her memories.
At this point, Beatrice obviously knows and she flies to Spain in daze. She visits the hospital, gives them the number, and asks for the name of the patient. When they'd brought the girl in, no one knew where she came from, she didn't have an ID, memories, etc. Nothing except for an old receipt from a restaurant in Portugal. ("Beatrice braces herself for what she already knows, but doesn't want to face.") The nurse at the hospital tells her they used a generic Portuguese name for the girl and it stuck: Ava Silva.
Beatrice visits Cat's Cradle because what else is she supposed to do? How is she supposed to deliver this Letter to Ava, who she's obviously in love with. She talks with Mary and we get the other side of the whole Mary/Shannon thing, and Mary is kind of like, okay, the Letters matter but they don't Matter. Beatrice asks Mary what she would do if she got a Letter (since Mary isn't a nun and could get one, but Shannon never could) and Mary basically says she would throw it away without opening it because she wouldn't want to give Shannon a reason to go self-sacrificial.
Of course, Beatrice doesn't really think this is her call to make. She's going to deliver Ava's Letter. There's this whole scene of her very dramatically and angstily getting ready for the delivery in the Official White Habit, then walking through the town she's come to associate so completely with Ava. And chapter 9 ends.
When Beatrice walks through the doors of the bar, Ava looks up, but doesn't seem surprised, even says 'oh, finally', which is pretty much the last thing that Beatrice expected, but then again, maybe it should have been the first, because Ava is always surprising her, and shouldn't she expect it by now? She asks Ava if she'd known that she was the person Beatrice had been trying to deliver to all along and Ava looks confused at this, like she hadn't considered that at all. "It's not that. I just knew my Letter would be coming because I'd already met you."
Beatrice is like, no no no. That's not how this works. It can't be me. I've been carrying this Letter with me this whole time - before I met you - and the Letters are only sent to a person when they've met their soulmate. And obviously, Beatrice is a nun and can't have a soulmate, etc. etc.
And then Ava says something like this: “Maybe every once in a while, God -- or the universe or whatever it is -- knows that it’ll be really hard to make two people meet organically, so it fudges the rules a little bit. Makes one girl a nun, makes another one hard to find, and sets up the dominos really early on."
And when Beatrice says she's being ridiculous/it's impossible, she says, "I know what’s in that letter. It’s you. I don’t need to open it to know it's you." and "Maybe it’s like some people say and god arranged it all. Fine. Then god chose me for you. Simple. He made me in this exact way, down to my hands and toes and whatever, so that I was perfect for his favorite creation in all of the universe. Because that has to be you."
And: "Or maybe it’s like what those other people say. You know - the past lives reincarnation stuff. Fine, then in our first lives we fell in love and then I found you in the second and third and the five hundredth. I found you and I picked you and I wanted you every time. Or okay, fine, maybe it’s what the the pseudo science people say. Even if those guys are right, I still know. It’s you because at the very start of the universe - at the very beginning of everything - we were the first two bits of something. The first two tiny little sparks. One of those was you and one of them was me. And even when we split off into a million trillion billion infinite pieces, the core of one was you. And the other one was me."
And: "In every religion or in any theory, the world exists so that I can find you again, and the world will do whatever it takes - bend the rules in whatever way - to make sure that at the exact right time, we would meet. And maybe it wasn’t perfect - maybe it was stupid hard for us to get to this point - maybe there was an easier way to make it happen - but I don’t care. Because it worked and I found you and I fell in love with you and I would do anything for that. So yeah. This Letter is telling me that I’m for you. That’s easy. It’s not faith. It’s just a fact.
And: "Besides, whatever’s on that paper? It’s going to be you. If it’s a picture of a butterfly, then it’s going to be you because of that time we went to the dam and one landed on your hand and you said “isn’t the world beautiful?” and that’s when I knew I loved you for the very first time. If it’s the notes to the first bar in At Last, then it’s you, because we used to play it all the time in the bar and I always thought it was fucking stupid to think you'd know like that right away, before everything, but it was the song that played in my head anyways when you walked in the bar that first night. There she is, I sort of thought, a dream that I can speak to."
"It could be any single word or phrase or letter and it would be you, because I love you and I love you so much I see you in every part of this entire world. I love you and I want to keep you with me always, and so you’re always there in my thoughts, slipping over and into everything else and I love it. It makes me love everything I see a little bit more, because it reminds me of you. It makes the world more beautiful."
"So, no offense, but I don't really give a fuck about the Letter. I already know it's going to be you. But I think you need to see it. So you know you’re not as selfish as you think you are."
And Beatrice admits that she wants to be with Ava anyways. Even if it makes her selfish. (Even if it makes her heretical.) Love is holy and what she feels for Ava is holy too, even if it's a sort of holy no one else will ever understand.
I went back and forth about whether they actually SHOULD open the Letter. lol. But I think I eventually settled on that they should, and that when Ava does open it, it's a blank page with like, 7 little dots and Beatrice is like??????????????? But Ava recognizes it instantly and it's the freckles on Beatrice's cheeks, the ones she's always tracing, and she does that again, following the ink on the paper.
Beatrice had been ready to give up her religion for Ava, so getting to keep it, maybe, suddenly is a LOT. She can't quite believe something divine would do something like this for her. But maybe she can believe that something divine would do something like this for Ava.
Later, I wanted Beatrice to have a conversation with Mother Superion. I thought it would be interesting to get into the philosophical bits of it. To debate if Ava could actually be right in her ideas about how this could be, and still fit into what they know about god/Letters/religion. I liked the idea of the conversation ending with neither of them really knowing, and Mother S being like, look girl, you'll never know for sure, but that sounds like faith to me. And Beatrice says no, no this is different, capital F Faith is for the divine. This is just trusting that Ava isn't lying about the freckles thing, or won't get tired of me, or won't find someone else. Etc etc etc. because it's panicking time for Beatrice, suddenly. And Mother Superion just raps her knuckles sort of in the most gentle way she can manage and says "That's love, Beatrice." in the way way someone might say "That's pussy, babe."
Beatrice does leave the church (though she eventually goes back to 'consulting' kind of like Mary). And when she does actually physically leave as well, Ava is waiting outside on a bench. Beatrice asks why she didn't just come inside, and she says something about being a little afraid of churches these days. She did steal god's favorite, after all.
And then they walk off into the sunset, with Beatrice being like wait a second, I thought you said this was all God's plan. And Ava shrugs and says that she would never willingly give Beatrice up, so god might come to her senses and change her mind.
I was going to end it there, but I did consider doing an epilogue as well. Early on in planning I had this idea where, years later, all the nuns regularly come over to the Silvas (because Ava does keep her 'second' name, though she does start to learn more about the Reis family, and meets her Uncle - the dude Beatrice learned about the orphanage from). And on one of these occasions, the nuns are all in white, and they're delivering Beatrice's Letter, which is addressed to Beatrice Silva. In the end, I decided against this, because I liked leaving it more open-ended, but nothing had been set in stone at this point, of course.
So yeah, that was going to be a beggar in the morning. lol. I plotted most of it out before I even started writing, because it wasn't the sort of story you could make up as you went and still tell it well. And I did want to tell the story well! There's a part of me that's sad that I wasn't able to, but I do think it was worth writing what I did. I really loved seeing people realize that Lara was Ava, even as early as chapter 5! And I also loved people coming up with theories about how Avatrice would be endgame. Some of them were honestly really good and maybe better than mine fhdskjhfd I had one person be like PLEASE let Ava's Letter be for someone else so they can metaphorically spit in god's face and honestly that was valid.
I don't know if anyone is going to bother to read this very, very long reply to an ask that doesn't actually ask for any of this, but it honestly just feels nice to put all these ideas together and 'complete' the story. Even if I've done it in the most half-assed way possible I am so sorry fhadskjlfhldsj
#sorry to use your ask from forever ago to go off about the planned ending of this fic#I had to combine notes from my phone google doc and physical journal to find all these details again so it was like I was rediscovering#my own fic#me at me as I was reading back: wow this shit is cheesy you are a huge loser#warrior nun#writing#a beggar in the morning
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For the fic writer asks:
4. Obviously you did research for BitB. I'd love you to ramble about it if you like I'm sure you've got STORIES
5. Did you outline it?
7. How'd you decide it would be Hob's pov?
25-27 I'd love to know a/some favorite lines, details, and any lore you might want to share
omg TJ what wonderful questions! thank you!! this is going to get LONG!
4: Rambling about research!
do you wanna see a screen shot of my bookmarks under my "band au" folder?
man, and that's only what could fit on the screen.
there is... SO MUCH i chose to ignore for this fic. ideas that i had to drop, lines or extra details about the other band members equipment. more logistics, what Lucienne actually does, what Mervyn has to put up with as the new touring stage manager... i realized very early on that i couldn't possibly cram all this (super cool and eye opening) information into the fic and still keep reader's interest and, most importantly, to not stray away from the fact that this is a dreamling fic. whenever i felt myself getting carried away with a side character or job or even social media numbers, gossip, outside POVs, i had to reign myself in and get back on track. there will be time for exploring everything i missed in side stories after BitB is finished. i just hope i still have the energy to write it all.
once, i was so deep into research that after publishing chapter 2, i went into work and when my chef asked what "GA" meant on my prep list, i answered with full confidence, "general admission."
(it means "get ahead.")
the worst part of this entire writing process is im still learning new shit. i havent rewatched or read a lot of what i've saved because, to be very honest, i was feeling a little burnt out. it's why we're kinda full steam dreamling now. it's why ive been glossing over a lot of technical stuff and being vague about conversations amongst the crew/not including it at all. i don't prefer ignoring my research, but at the end of the day i want to still enjoy writing this fic and finish it. even if i can't be as descriptive and detailed and nuanced as i used to be.
5: Did you outline the fic?
(also asked by @hardly-an-escape!)
i wouldn't call what i have a proper "outline," it's more like a 20k word document filled to the brim with notes that i skim at least a dozen times while i'm writing a new chapter (being in my brain is literally hell). i live multichapter life very dangerously. i copy and paste lines or sections (always scattered, never together! augh!) that are meant to go together and plop them in a new document titled "band au ch.#" and then i structure the chapter around what i want to happen.
but to answer this question in the plainest of terms: yeah. i know exactly what's going to happen up until the very end. even if its all in my head and the only concrete shit that's written down are beats/plot points. i'll figure out the rest later!
7: How'd you decide it would be Hob's POV?
i actually never even considered writing it from Dream's POV. this was my first fic in the fandom (which is so nuts to think about lol) and writing in Dream's POV sounded so scary lol. i also just thought Hob's would be easier because i have worked a few backstage shows, back in my college years. i figured eh, i can make this work. and i loved exploring how weird and mysterious musicians can be, from a normie's POV. making Hob a fan first and having him worry about developing a parasocial relationship... it was fun to explore.
25: Share your favorite line
oh god, i have so many haha.
“What are you thinking about?” starting in ch.2 and onward lmao
“It’s–” Dream laughs quietly, bitterly. “I don’t like change.” He says each word with emphasis, eyes trailing down to fixate somewhere past Hob. “And I still hold onto the things I can control, like my instruments–” his eyes swing up to regard Hob apologetically. “Or my clothes or my–” he brings a hand up and wiggles his fingers around his head. “My hair.” ch.4
"His majesty is pleased." ch.5
“You are obsessive,” he states, slow and cool and with a quiet smile cracking through his composure. “Just like me.” ch.7
“You look good.” Hob has to lean in to say so, unwilling to raise his voice amongst the roar of the fans. ch.11
“Del looks like porcelain, but she’s actually made of steel.” Desire swirls the contents of their glass before pushing their shoulders back with a deep breath. “She's tougher than all of us.” ch.11
“Everything. I want…” his fingers tighten in Hob’s hair, pulling him closer, speaking against his lips. “…Everything.” ch.14
26: Share your favorite detail
how intentionally coy Dream behaves. i love keeping him a mystery and deciding when and how much to allow his intentions to peek through has been so fun lol.
Despair is in fact covered in tattoos and piercings! i say this because i feel like sometimes i forget lmao. (but also her and Hob don't interact much so. my bad haha).
Delirium's constant explosion of color in the way she dresses <3
Hob's dedication to his job, Dream, and the people he cares about the most. i don't care if people think i'm making him too soft and good, im gonna project on that man and make him a sweet, sweet simp lmao
and ah, this doesn't matter anymore, and i kinda regret doing it but. i originally had Dream's favorite bass all black but the pickguard was white. so it actually looked like Jessamy. not gonna lie when @designtheendless drew it all black i decided i liked it better that way. and truly i do. that's when i went back to ch.1 and changed it haha. to actually see the guitar with Dream, all done up sparkling black and purple flecks... gosh it's just so him. but then i got up to the reveal that the guitar's name was Jessamy and i was like, "oh, right." lmao. no one seems to care so i'll leave it be.
27: Share a piece of lore you made up for the story
i have a lot lmao. and this post is already so long... im hoping i can get to some if not all of it in side fics in the future. but for now, here's some that's more like headcanons but:
Dream hates flying. he can full on go into panic attacks on the plane if he allows himself to get into his own head.
this was mentioned briefly in ch.4, while Dream was discussing the formation of the band, but Despair was in another band before joining Endless. she is the only character in the fic who gets to keep her English roots (lol sorry) and is the oldest in the band (30).
all of the band members ages: Dream, Desire, and Death are all 28 and Delirium is 22.
Dream can experience subdrop after going too hard during a performance.
Dream paints his own nails, it's very therapeutic.
as an exercise, i explored my own headcanons for Dream in this verse in a word doc, and one thing i will share from it that you might find interesting: If I were to ever give Dream a theological values, I would describe him as a satanist. He is a physical and pragmatic person, nonconforming, and although he is introverted, he enjoys being a part of a community (he loves his band).
also found this in my notes: How Desire and Dream got along was Death making them fight it out. Hob raises an eyebrow “like in a brawl?” He couldn't imagine Desire throwing hands. “No, in a pillow fight that escalated in hair pulling and verbal taunts.”
fic writer asks
#yooooo#this took me a long time to answer lol#i gotta go to bed but#THANK YOU SO MUCH TJ!!#dreamling#(why not. there's a lot here let put it out into the main tag!)#fic: bolt in the blue#im so satisfied ahhh thanks again#:)
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Update :)
Hi! I know it’s been literal months and I’m so sorry for that!
After I lost all my outlines for my 1k celly (I lost other outlines for other fics I was working on as well), which I still don’t know how I managed to do that, I lost all motivation for writing and kinda woso in general. I still watched games and whatnot but it just wasn’t fun until the Olympics (which RAHHH USA GOLD). Plus I did not have the best mental health but thats besides the point.
I just wanna say sorry for not writing the 1k celly fics, I hate that I lost everything and lost motivation right as I hit 1K </3
I do plan on slowly returning to writing, with the new seasons about to start, my excitement and love for the game is coming back and I want to channel that through writing! Gonna be a slow restart but I’m glad my love for writing is coming back :)
There are a few changes tho!
-> I changed who I write for! I’ve taken quite a bit of players off my list solely because I hardly ever wrote for them in the first place and I mainly want to focus on the ones I know the most!
-> I also will be starting to write for a few fictional characters that I like, I know this is a WOSO blog and all my followers are WOSO fans but im so hyper-fixated on some of these characters and I haven’t written for fictional characters in ages so I wanna get back into it even if they flop lmao
-> I won’t be doing any more NSFW alphabets (aside from doing them for the fictional characters I added) and I won’t be doing any more insta posts/stories etc :)
-> I’ve cleared my WIP list and inbox from months-old requests to sorta give myself a true fresh start so im so sorry I never got around to some of them </3
Lastly, please bear with me as I get back into posting and writing and stuff, I’m sure my writing is a bit rusty but hopefully, people still enjoy my works! - ⚡️🫶🏻
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Hey, everyone. I never thought I would have to write this, but here we are.
Those of you who have been reading my stuff for a while know that I’ve been through the ringer these last several years. Three personal losses combined with simple bad luck created clinical depression (on top of a lifetime of anxiety) and suicidal ideology. I discovered that I am mostly likely high-functioning autistic and now I’m dealing with age-related health issues. Writing, especially Damerey, has been my escape, but it hasn’t been easy. Dealing with chronic pain and chronic fatigue takes its toll.
Recently, my boss decided that everyone must be independently wealthy like she is and reduced my hours significantly. I have a horse and a cat that need their teeth worked on, another cat and a dog that need vaccinations, a car that needs repair, a house mortgage, car payments, debt from a previous vehicle, and now medical bills. So, for the first time in my life, I had to get a second job just to make ends meet. With my health issues, this is going to make life rough, and I don’t foresee having the time or energy to write anytime soon. I have the outline for a new long-fic, but the odds of me actually getting it written are slim to none right now, which is why The New Recruit may be my last one. I gotta admit, I’m so damn tired of keeping this ship afloat.
Last week on my birthday, I was reading through several old Damerey fics, stories written during the height of the ship. As someone who came into it late, I often wonder how my stories would have fared if I had written and posted them back then. Would they have gotten 500+ kudos? Would they have 20+ comments per chapter? I’ll never know. I struggled to complete The New Recruit. I love it and I’m proud of it, but it kills me seeing it struggle. The kudo count is respectable, but the feedback is… well, I rarely get a lot of comments. Those that do so regularly have become friends, and I am grateful for that, at least. But feedback literally feeds a writer, and not having much leaves me feeling starved and unable to write, especially when I’m already physically and emotionally exhausted. (If anyone is really, super shy, you can send an anonymous Ask!)
I love this ship and I am not leaving it, so anyone else who posts Damerey stories or artwork, I WILL BE THERE!!! I will support it with everything in me. I still have stories galore in my head, including that one that I’ve never had the guts to write, but they are going to have to stay there for a while.
Maybe something wonderful will happen in the next year and things will get better. In the meantime, I hope you continue to enjoy this story, and if you’ve just started reading this one, I’ve got over four years of stories for you to read! And if I do come back, I hope that my regulars will still be around, ready to join me on a new adventure with Rey and Poe.
Thank you all so much for reading!
My AO3 Masterlist
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Writing tag game by @bonecarversbestie !!
I was tagged by @thelov3lybookworm 💖 thank youuuu
Describe your writing process from idea to posting/publishing
Normally an idea will pop into my head while I'm at work - my job is physical and can be pretty mindless, so it's perfect for coming up with entertaining stories! I normally end up running through the plot of what I want to happen a few times before I even get to writing, so I have a good mental outline of the story. When it comes to the actual writing part, I tend to go full speed ahead for hours. Also most of the time I'm smoking a lil bit, I find being just a lil stoned can help move the writing process along. I veeeery rarely edit my works except for mistakes I notice as I go. And once I'm done, I post right away, pasting it into the app and editing it to look how I want. I give myself as little time as possible to second guess my writing lol
Are you a plotter or a pantser?
I'm normally a plotter, I like to know what I want to happen, but if fun ideas come to me in the moment then I go with them! Very rarely will I have an idea that I don't think about and plan for at least a few hours beforehand.
What do you listen to when you are writing?
So many things... Taylor Swift, Halsey, Chelsea Cutler, Blackpink, and more, but those are the main artists I listen to while writing. I also end up having stuff on in the background, lately it's been between Grey's Anatomy and Gilmore Girls.
What’s your drink of choice(while writing)?
I love me a monster ultra, strawberry dreams has been my fave since it was put out! Coffee too, and water of course (I'm a big water hoe)
Promote yourself! What’s your favorite thing you’ve written?
Probably You Can Have It! It's such a fun, cozy world that Reader lives in, and I'm sooo excited for all the plans I have for her, Feyre, and Rhys!!!
Share a fic of yours that you think is underrated/deserves more love.
This was tough... You guys give all of my stories so much love, none of them ever really feel left out! The only one that I think deserves more love is probably Omega Needs, it's my first fic on here and I love how I've changed the dynamic between Feyre and Rhys, and all the shit going on in the Spring Court. I just love them 🥹
Do you have any advice for new writers?
Just! Keep! Writing!!! I have been a new writer at so many points in my life, and every time I've enjoyed myself, but this time feels different. I've pushed myself to keep writing and not reread my fics to death before posting, and that has helped immensely with how I've approached writing this time around. Also! Write what YOU want to read! I know that I don't feel motivated when I'm not very interested in the story, so make sure that you like what you're writing!
What is a writing style/technique that others do really well that you'd like to get better at?
Ooo definitely the style where the pacing matches so well with intense emotions, like the punctuation and everything changes to match it. And also poetry! I love the way people can capture a feeling so perfectly.
Is there a character you were surprised you enjoyed writing as much as you did?
Definitely Shitty Azriel from my tears ricochet. I'd thought I might have a problem making him hateable but still like... acting sweet to reader even with all the lies that she didn't know about. But I didn't, and the response was an overwhelming "fuck you Azriel" (which I delighted in, thank you guys 😂)
I'm tagging @mira-says and @icey--stars, don't feel pressured or anything tho!!
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Hii! I love your COD fic so much. I’m just beginning my own writing journey, and was wondering if you wouldn’t mind sharing what your outlining/writing process is like? ^^
Hi!! Hello!! Thank you!!! 💚 Aww, best of luck on your journey!! Writing is so hard but it can be so fulfilling at the same time!!
Hehe yeah, so I don't usually really do outlines for fics. I just kind of get a general idea of what I want to happen, and in the case of fics that follow plotlines of shows directly how the character/reader is going to fit into those events, and then just start writing what comes to me when it comes to me 😅 that's led to some fics getting quite out of hand, though, in the past.
I think CRCB is the first fic I've actually like physically laid things out as far as chapters and what I want to happen in them (which has changed about 10 times since I started around chapter 3). So yeah, I just kind of lay out how many chapters and what I want to happen in each chapter. I don't come up with everything that happens in the chapter right away. More filler type stuff I kind of just write as I go depending on what fits the vibe of the chapter. Sometimes things change a lot, and that's okay. My original outline had like 25 chapters and then the fic would be done and, well, as you can see we're nowhere near that now lol.
As far as the writing process, I just kind of take the outline and lay out what's going to happen in the chapter by section and then start writing. Sometimes I start at the beginning of the chapter and sometimes I start in the middle. Quite a few I've written the last scene first and then just kind of jumped around as inspiration came. I've found that's helped a lot with writer's block and motivation, as I can just kind of go where the words are flowing in the chapter and not have to worry about getting a certain section done before I write the next.
I also do a first draft where I can just lay out a basic description of something that happens if I get stuck and move on. If the words aren't flowing, drop a quick little summary of what happens in that scene and then move on and come back to it when you edit. Sometimes the first draft is just a super basic walk through of what happens and then I go back a second time and add in all the fluff and details. That can be really good if you're going to write smut scenes. Just get down the basics and then go through and add everything else later. Same with dialogue. Just write the lines and then go back and add in details, other things happening in the scene.
Your first draft does NOT have to be the final product. Sometimes it is. Sometimes the words are flowing and you can put out a masterpiece with just some light editing needed. Sometimes it takes two or three tries before you're happy with it. That happens to me a lot. Some chapters are basically first drafts with a little grammar/syntax editing. Others (like chapter 10) I wrote up, sat on it for two days, read it through and was unhappy with it, so I went back and added in like over 1,000 words of fluff and details.
So yeah. Take your time, sleep on things if you're not happy with them, don't be afraid to change things and jump around while you're writing. I know a lot of writers struggle with wanting to be linear in their writing and write a fic or chapter start to finish. You don't have to. Jumping around while writing has saved me so much stress.
I hope this helps, and best of luck with your writing. The best way to get good at it and figure out what works for you is just to write. Practice, practice, practice. It's taken me well over a decade to get to this point where I've figured out what works best for me and I'm still learning to this day.
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wip whenevers
i was tagged by @ghostoffuturespast to share some work in progress! there's a lot of work and not much progress to speak of but here's a run-down of everything in active development
shanghai 57
some cp77 characters for the this story i've been piecing together. that's regina jones and an OC of mine, mariano torralba / tiyo nano, in their wild youth! (their middle age is wild but their youth was, too)
the fic is mostly-outlined and i'm in that stage of trying to catch a vibe on character voice, setting, all that good and extremely difficult stuff
hypercritical season 3
elsewhere in that universe i've been plotting this nameless post-canon fic that continues mike and vania's story from where crescent&redwood left off.
i will put my cards on the table, a lot of this one is motivated by me wanting to continue their "dynamic" with johnny, lol. (throuple airhorn) (i reveal my cards with a flourish and nobody is surprised, because i have posted excerpts of this before and because it's me)
but i'm also really grooving on the quasi-solarpunk setting where we last found them, and wallowing in the angst V feels after her decision to do the surgery and fuck people over.
Amidst a five-by-two grid of other structures, V's was the last greenhouse on the left. It was a ramshackle assembly: panes of reclaimed plexi-glass bound together with scrap metal and thick cords of hope. A dinky little thing that seemed always on the verge of failing. Though one or two bad storms had jeopardized its integrity, it was still here. She smiled over a shoulder at it as she plodded over the darkening ground toward dinner.
sometimes i do weird shit like use graphviz to plot out what i think the emergent themes of a thing are. i don't know if this helps me in any way but it's fun. the nonsense i'll go through just because i want a blorbo threesome i stg. pointing and laughing at myself.
royal blue
i'm writing a follow-up chapter to that fucking bummer one-shot i wrote about valerie and river a little while back. i can't leave them miserable like that!
breached (smutty collab)
i worked with @streetkid-named-desire on a one-shot with their OCs VG and batsheva and it turned out really cute :3 lookin for beta readers rn!
V's interface dribbled into the emptiness, everything but the maze and mouse thinning out into wavering lines. He could feel what she was doing through his avatar. The sensation wasn't quite the same as when he was in realspace, but it sizzled through his nerves like the aftershock of a dream. Somewhere in the netrunning chair's hardware, bits and bytes were scrambling to make sense of the feeling of Bea's wet, beautiful mouth dancing over his cock. The result was an exhilarating, electric connection that felt like neither life nor the Net.
bg3 bros helping bros
last but not least this is most likely the next thing i'll actually publish, and it's A Bit Different for me! i was possessed by the idea of Rugan and Gale having a hush-hush no-homo encounter a while ago and reeled off some lil bits for the fabulous Zhentil Keep discord. for whatever reason (probably because i have 80 other things to work on!!) i picked this up again over the weekend.
Now, Gale wasn't the slightest bit wrong. It was a nice cock, and anyone who espied it had the right, nay, the duty to say as much. But how'd he manage a glimpse from so many paces away, at the edge of moondark at that? Perhaps he'd deployed some perverted hocus-pocus in order to steal a look at the Zhentarim serpent.
i have some kind folks beta-ing this, and i really need a title. it's the first thing i've written for bg3! i was trying to ship rugan with my tav but this scene has gripped me and i kind of love him with gale more now?? it happens
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20 Questions For Fic Writers
Tagged by @cactusdragon517 almost a month ago lol, I'm slow to get these done.
How many works do you have on ao3? 21
What's your total ao3 word count? 202,835
What fandoms do you write for? Currently? Call of Duty and I'm still hanging around the TOG fandom. But I've hardly posted anything in years lol. Someday when my toddler is a little older I'll get back into posting more.
Top five fics by kudos:
Share Your Address - Fencer!Joe/TA!Nicky College AU - Insta-love. So much texting. Everybody wants to punch Keane.
It Feels Like Flying - Joe/Pilot!Nicky AU - This is porn. Enjoy.
Brothers Fight - Joe & Booker working through their issues post movie.
Everything I Did to Get to You - Sequel to Share Your Address (my top fic by Kudos) - AU - A few years later Joe and Nicky spend the holidays with friends and family.
Collapsing Walls - Book of Nile!!!!! - Established Booker/Nile - Booker and Nile get caught in a building while trying to assist during an earthquake.
Do you respond to comments? Yes!! I try to respond to all comments for at least a few days after I post something.
What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I don't write a lot of angsty ENDINGS. I'll Never Love Another (Prince!Joe/Knight!Nicky) has a fuck ton of angst in it, and I know some people thought the ending was bitter sweet bordering on sad.... but idk (spoilers?) no one died and they're together sooooo that's a happy ending in my book lol.
What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Gees, idk lol Share Your Address?? It's so sweet you'll get cavities.
Do you get hate on fics? I never have. *knock on wood*
Do you write smut? Hardly ever. I mean I HAVE, and actually the most recent thing I posted was like straight up porn lol. But mostly if there is sex it is only hinted at/fade to black. Or buried in a 60k fic so you have to work for it!
Craziest crossover: Probably Book of Nile + Princess Bride (it's a WIP that I haven't touched in like 3 years *sweats nervously* I swear I will finish all my WIPs EVENTUALLY)
Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of???
Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes!! A one shot I did was translated onto a Japanese website that I forget the name of lol. I've also had a podfic made of one of my one shots if that counts.
Have you ever co-written a fic before? Ashley and I tried at one point lol it was a modern AU DinLuke fic.... it kind of fizzled out eventually. @ashleyrguillory we should look at that again someday lol
All time favorite ship? Obligatory "Just one??!!" ok but idk Charlie/Claire (LOST), Korra/Asami (Legend of Korra) and Derek/Stiles (Teen Wolf) are the most important to me??? I read the most fic for Ghost/Soap, [redacted controversial ship that you could not pay me to reveal #1], and [redacted controversial ship that you could not pay me to reveal #2] lol
What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I refuse to give up on any of my WIPS!!! I have 4, and all of them are planned/outlined to the end... I even have multiple completed chapters for two of them. I'm not a quitter... I do take my time though lol
What are your writing strengths? Oh gees... idk someone else who has read my stuff needs to tell me this... I think I've gotten a lot of comments complimenting me on keeping characters true to canon?? idk guys! someone else answer this!
What are your writing weaknesses? I really struggle with action and sex scenes. Where are they? I, the person writing this fic, certainly don't know. (come to think of it this might be part of the reason that I don't write a lot of smut)
Thoughts on dialogue in another language? Whatever floats the author's boat.
But I personally have done it a few ways. My favorite to both write and read is just to write what they say and then identify what language is being used if the POV character can understand the language. something like: "Oh no," he shouted in Italian.
OR if the POV character doesn't understand the language I would write something like: Nicky shouted something in what Joe thought was Italian. OR Nicky said something in a language Joe couldn't quite place.
First fandom you wrote in? Supernatural lol
Favorite fic you've written? One????? You're getting 2!
I'll Never Love Another - Prince!Joe/Knight!Nicky AU - SO MUCH LETTER WRITING - This was my Big Bang in 2021, and I love the FUCK out of it. It's my favorite fic I've ever written and I reread it kind of often because of how much I enjoy it lol
Impelled by the Persuasion of Love - Canon verse Joe/Nicky and Andy/Quynh - Takes place in France during the 100 years war. I have an obsession with courtly love/chivalry and figured I should shove it onto our favorite immortals <3 - I wrote this for a TOG zine that came out in early 2021
=== Truly, IDK if I've got 20 people to tag but I'll give it a go!!
@innerslumber, @alloutofgoddesses, @ashleyrguillory, @stevethehairington, @sindirimba, @disregardandfelicity and anybody else who wants to do this, consider this your tag!!!
#tag games#my stuff#my fics#lolo writes#If you take one thing away from this it's that you should read I'll Never Love Another#you know.... if you feel like it....
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Shop talk! I know you're currently doing the whole writing and posting thing differently than before - like the whole thing is written, you're just editing and posting once a week. So what do you think of that? Do you prefer it over how you worked previously? Does it depend on the fic??
And how much editing are we talking? Both in terms of words changed as well as time spent on it? Do you do editing the next chapter for a whole week? Are you constantly editing all upcoming chapters??
Thanks for the ask! I love talking about this stuff :) Sorry for the obscenely long answer.
So it's the first time I've done that, and now that I'm in the posting part I am liking it a lot. I like the structure, I look forward to Wednesdays, I feel like I gathered a little bit of an audience that is there weekly with me as well, which is nice for everyone. I don't know if it makes any difference to people in terms of engagement if they hear that its completed in advance or see it posting regularly, but idk if it was me as a reader I would appreciate the regularity so I hope people do. At least one person has told me they're waiting to read it until it's finished/waited to start until it was over half posted, idk if I'll suddenly get new readers when its up in full or what but I def understand that. But yeah! The posting weekly thing has been nice. It feels productive even if I actually don't do a ton of writing every week.
Actually writing the thing took like two years though, specifically because there was absolutely no gratification to it haha. I didn't really even post wip snippets or talk about it much, because I wanted to keep my secrets. I was writing either Matchsies or A Complicated Match still when I had the idea and started plotting, so part of it taking so long is also that I was dividing my attention, and devoting more of it to the ongoing stuff I was actually posting. But I started this fic with the intention of letting it be a slow side-burner project so that I could make it "really good" by the time it went up. And that was a good call, because I did a lot of re-writes and re-structuring to elements of it, especially some of the early chapters, when I got further into the plot. To be clear, it's had the same outline all along, but there were connecting details that didn't work, like logistical travel time things that would have been glaringly annoying if I'd posted the first drafts of the first few chapters before writing the later ones. Also I re-vamped Sylvanna's character really early on into a more major role. She wasn't originally a bodyguard! Or really a main element of the story at all. Absolution came out at some point and I got Ideas.
Anyway, a lot of the editing that went into the fic before I started posting was pretty major, but by the time I was ready to actually start posting everything was much more concrete. I tend to edit the next chapter in the days before it goes up, and right before posting, mainly just for little details. But I try to give myself some distance and not overdo the constant editing so that when I do look at it right before posting I have some fresher eyes, right now I haven't looked at the next chapter (lying, I read it last night, but not from an EDITOR standpoint) in a couple weeks and I plan to put on editor glasses tomorrow morning before I post it. A big part of the editing that is ongoing is for how the prose reads, like I might come up with some gorgeous metaphor or re-do how a scene is described but keep the content the same. You get better all the time as a writer, so it's just about getting the Good Copy as Good as I can before it goes up. Every now and then I have a genius thought and go stick it in where it fits. Every now and then I also delete stuff or have a genius thought that doesn't actually fit and stick it in "CUT CONTENT" on the bottom of the doc. There's some Taren-perspective Bher stuff in there that didn't work with how I structured Ch. 20, for example. I was thinking for a sec I'd re-write that whole chapter and do a flashback chapter for him but it did not suit the flow at all and I only got a couple paragraphs in and then just... added like two lines of Taren Thoughts to get the point across instead haha. I also cut a couple chapters in half but didn't change them (19 and 20 are an example, which is also why a ch. 20 rewrite did not work.)
The most major edits I've made have been to the last two chapters, mainly to add in a few new ideas I had or to tie up loose ends I realised I was still leaving. I haven't majorly changed any of what was going to happen, it's more just me trying to really nail those last chapters. I am also constantly re-reading it in full (sometimes making minor tweaks to names in the narration ;) and also boring stuff like punctuation). I'll post a chapter and immediately get excited for the next one and go read from that point to the end...
There's also a "secret" epilogue that I wrote, really liked, and then cannibalized and entirely re-wrote like, yesterday. I wasn't initially sure I'd even post it but now I definitely will. So stay tuned for that ;)
#ask me things!#the hunter the snake and the fox#thanks for the ask!#this fic has been a monster to wrangle but it is at this point mostly wrangled :3
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Fic Updates
It's been a while soo....
I Want You to Show Me Weak — As I've stated before, there are only 2 chapters left in the entire fic. I'm going to be finishing both of them before I post chapter 26. Then I'll be posting chapter 27 the next day. Gonna end the fic with a bang 😏 I have everything outlined and thought out, I just have to finish writing it (I'm very excited about what I have planned/written for the final chapter, which includes the ending). Though I will admit, it's been difficult to write knowing I'll be saying goodbye to this story. I'll miss my boys SO much 😭, as well as this version of Kino x Reader, but I want to finish it for myself and for all of you! Besides, there's always the possibility of oneshots set in this universe in the future AND I'm not done writing for Kino. Not even close! I have no date estimate at the moment, but I'm trying to give this one my full attention so 🤞
The Devil Makes Us Sin — Once Show Me Weak is done, I'm going to give this one my full attention for a while. (Though, to be honest, even though I'm trying to focus on finishing Kino first, I still keep this document open and regularly pop in to write a paragraph or two. What can I say, David is VERY fun to write for 😏, I love him, and I must follow the serotonin). The next few chapters will be shorter so they should go quickly, and I already have around the next 4 of them half written (I actually have about ~25k of future stuff written last time I checked, including parts of chapters MUCH further down the road 😅).
Other Wips
While my focus has been on my ongoing stories, I do have a few other WIPs I have actual content written for! So here's an update on those as well. For fun.
Personal Trainer!Kino x Reader Modern AU — I have the beginning of this story and a few scenes written, and SO many notes for it. (My relationship with my trainer is fantastic. He's 50% big brother energy, 50% wingman energy, but he says THE most out of pocket shit so I immediately write it down after my sessions. Because him saying it does nothing for me, but imagining Kino saying it?? 😵💫🫠🥵) It will probably end up ~5 chapters total. Probably.
And Your Heart, Love, Has Such Darkness (David x Reader smutty Oneshot) — I started this one a year ago because I wrote something for TDMUS that didn't quite fit, but I liked it enough to keep it and make it its own thing. It's over half done right now, so it will likely be the next oneshot I post.
I Didn't Want to Hurt You, but You're Pretty When You Cry (Dark!David x Reader) — I think this one will end up about 3 chapters long and will contain a lot of content warnings. It's going to be more horror focused (with splashes of dark humor because I cannot help myself). I adore the opening chunk I've written. It gave me goosebumps.
Secret Andy Blorbo x Reader Oneshot — This one started as a joke on Discord about an Andy blorbo that is not only incredibly niche/unknown, but is actively not attractive (one of the very rare times Andy Serkis does nothing for me. In fact, when I see him, my vagina makes the windows shutdown noise). Except I made the mistake of saying, "I want to try to write for this character as a fun challenge just so I can sexually confuse everyone." And it, uh, spiraled from there and made me rethink my entire stance on this character (thank you for not only indulging me, Hannah, but encouraging me and giving me more ideas 💖 I loved [redacted] thirst day in TNBF)
Halsin x Tav — That's right, I'm writing for the sexy druid. It'll be 2 chapters, and it's about a third of the way finished. This Tav will be a human fighter, but is otherwise written more like a Reader Insert. (Side note: going back to 3rd person POV after writing a lot of 2nd person POV is harder than I imagined 🙃)
Paz Vizsla x Mando!Reader Oneshot — That's right, I'm also writing for the big Mandalorian. It's about a third of the way finished as well. (These last 2 are actually a little intimidating because the fandoms are MUCH larger, but I need to get them out sooo fuck it, it's happening.)
So as you can see, even though I haven't posted very much outside of Liam Black, I'm still writing a lot. Apparently I just have commitment issues and a lot of ✨thots✨ 😌💖
#fic update#my wips#wip wednesday#i want you to show me weak update#the devil makes us sin update#x reader
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I'm doing this tag bc i've never done one before. thx @zenkindoflove for always tagging me in these even tho i never do them pls don't stop.
Doing this tag feels a little funny since i'm so new to writing and i only have 2 fics, but here we go
1. How many works do you have on AO3? 2
2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 23,375
3. What fandoms do you write for? ACOTAR
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? whelp this is awkward bc i only have two 😅
The Scenic Route(Elucien multichapter WIP)
Reverie(Elucien week oneshot)
5. Do you respond to comments? Yes! I literally sit by my computer after i post waiting for them to come in bc i love attention.
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? N/A. All my angst is in the beginning/middle. my endings are all happy so far.
(Although, I do have a bullet point in my fic ideas file that is a Haunting of Hill House rewrite but Autumn Court/Forest house, and if you've ever read the book, you know that calling the ending "angsty" would be an understatement)
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? So Reverie is very short and is sorta set after Elucien have already had their happy ending(in more ways than one ;) The ending of the Scenic Route is also happy and it took way more work to get there, so I'd say that one.
8. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I'm like the writing equivalent of a toddler right now--I'm still learning to write regular stuff haha. I want to write smut one day, but need to take my baby steps to get there. Even when i do, though i think it will not be as explicitly descriptive of the acts themselves, but more emotionally driven (I really like the style of the sex scenes in Song of Achilles if that gives you the vibe)
9. Do you write crossovers? I don't think i'm creative enough for that tbh
10. Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope. maybe one day.
11. Have you ever co-written a fic before? I have not. I don't even know how that would work esp bc i am a control freak, but i'll never say never.
12. What is your all-time favorite ship? I have a handful of OTPs the primary one right now is obviously Elucien, but I have a special place in my heart for The Doctor and River Song(Doctor Who) and Dramione(who i never really shipped when reading the books, but this was the ship that got me into fanfiction and now i'm addicted)
13. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? So my Current WIP is already completely drafted, i just have to edit and post it, so i'm not worried. I do have an outline of a really long High King Lucien fic started that i worry i won't finish before their book comes out (and that once their book comes out i won't be motivated to write it any more, but we'll see)
14. What are your writing strengths? This is hard because i'm so new to writing, i feel like i don't have any strengths yet, but I'm gonna say dialogue, because it's what i enjoy writing the most. most of my first drafts are very dialogue driven and i fill in the story around the conversations
15. What are your writing weaknesses? Internal monologues/explaining characters emotions. I tend to leave out details/explanations of a character's feelings because I know what they're feeling and i just expect the reader to inherently know everything that I know even though it's impossible.
16. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I love when people do this, but my spanish and french are both so rusty i don't feel confident enough to try. Maybe some latin in future works for spells and stuff, but in terms of dialogue, probably not.
17. First fandom you wrote for? Acotar! I only just started writing in June of this year, so i haven't had the chance to write for other fandoms yet, but i'd like to eventually.
18. Favorite fic you’ve written? The Scenic Route! i mean i only have two to choose from--and i have a soft spot for Reverie since it was the first fic i ever posted--but I've put a lot of time and love into The Scenic Route, and I'm excited to finish sharing it. ❤️
~*~
I'm not tagging anyone bc i don't know anyone(who wasn't already tagged). 😬
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quilllllll! hi, hello, i simply had to let you know that i've been slowly but surely re-re-rereading the road, the hidden truth, and you, and first of all, gorgeous, beautiful, touching, magnificent, imagine a rainstorm of chefs kisses raining down uponst you <3 but i got curious and had to ask...are there any cut scenes/fun facts/behind the scenes special features you might want to share with the class? 🥺 hehehe i just know /i/ always end up having a bunch of stuff like that once a project's done, and i'd LOVE to hear any juicy tidbits you've got!!! :P (either way, had to remind you how gorgeous this - AND ALL YOUR OTHER WRITING - is!)
we are somehow on the same wavelength as i was rereading it myself when i got this ask.....i'm onto you queenie......
all jokes aside THANK YOU i am always blown away when you compliment my writing, truthfully, it means the absolute world to me and i'm glad you enjoy what i put out. from the bottom of my heart, your support is greatly, greatly appreciated
that being said. well. as far as fun facts go. one fun fact is that this was barely my idea. that's well known at this point i think but you can thank @merrybandofmurderers for originally giving me the idea of a fake dating, roadtrip au. second fun fact is that i winged the HELL out of this fic. 19 years old staying up (apparently, since i checked the outline???) till 5 in the morning trying to get it done. winged the hell out of it. i had a broad idea, but i built the chapters based off of da2 quest names. so like. i had almost nothing planned. i took a da2 quest title i liked and built a modern au plot around it. great idea i think. poor execution LMFAO
no cut scenes or anything due to the rushed and unorganized nature of the original draft. there are things that i cut from the original in my rewrite, but that's because i felt like they weren't serving a real purpose. i also was super excited to change it so it was modern au but with elves and kirkwall and all that stuff. does it make sense orzammar is in new york? no. do i care? also no
i have been intending to write a follow up ever since the ORIGINAL story, but it just hasn't felt right yet. i know i want to do it. and i really hope i will do it. but for now it will stay in my drafts, lovingly titled "trthtay superbowl follow up". between that and the eden/varric wedding at skyhold fic, we could place a bet on which one gets finished first! (psst, it's probably the wedding fic. i've written more for that. unrelated but maybe expect that? soon? ish? don't hold me to that)
anyway, i'd say the biggest thing is that trthtay was my "i can do better" fic, truthfully. i was STUNNED when it got on a screenrant article (before it was even finished too?), i mean, i still have my section printed out in my dresser. it was exciting. but to see so many eyes on something i didn't think was of the quality i'd like it to be was stressful. i wanted to be great. i wanted the thing that so many people saw from me to be groundbreaking. and i really didn't feel like it hit that mark. i don't even think the rewrite hits that mark! there are things that i've written that i feel are better than both. but, there's a bright side to everything, and that's that even what i would consider one of my worse fics was loved. it was loved. it was enjoyed. not only by the author of that article (david caballero, there's nowhere i can message you on that site, but if you ever see this, thank you so so much) but by everyone who decided to click the link and give it a try. by YOU, one of my biggest inspirations and someone whose writing i aspire to match someday. i cannot thank you enough (you, personally, queenie, and you, plural, anyone who's read my writing) for giving me a chance and pushing me to be better
so. anyway. i'm sure you didn't expect your question to get an emotional response, but i think any conversation about trthtay comes back to that. to hope. to gratitude. it truthfully blows my mind that you love it the way you do. thank you thank you thank you. i'm glad i have you in my corner :)
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🦈 🏷️💌 for the fic ask game!! (o^▽^o) <3
hiiiiiiiii! <333 thank you for asking hehe \o/ hope you're doing well!!
🦈 Which character is the toughest to write?
You know it's funny that you ask because getting into a character's head is actually one of my favorite things about writing! I usually don't have an awful lot of trouble with it unless I've started with an idea that I'm not as interested in as I thought.
So, there's probably been other times that I struggled but the one that I remember the best is Kaeya from Genshin LOL. I was never so super into Gempact but for a while I was playing it w my friends bc it was a Group Activity so I ended up writing a fair bit of fic just because I was so plugged into it. I stalled out on a fic from Kaeya POV that I was writing that I ended up wrapping up at what felt like it Could Be a stopping point and just posting what I had. The trouble with him, I think, is that he has this mysterious backstory that informs his character that's alluded to in events, objects around the world, etc, but I hadn't really gotten an understanding of that backstory. (I could have looked at the wiki I guess but I prefer to use the wiki to confirm stuff that I already knew or look up little bits of trivia; it doesn't feel right to learn everything about a character in a wiki review that might leave out important story or emotional context.)
THIS GOT LONG LOL tl;dr I was writing a lot of genshin fic even though i'm not really built to be a Gacha Lore Understander so i had some trouble with Kaeya!
🏷️ Is there a tag you like to search for when looking for fanfics to read?
>///<
i like sickfic hahaha;;;;;; if I'm being so real unless I get really extremely into something (eg. KNB or Yugioh) sickfic is the ONLY kind of fic I'll even read LOL. I've also written a lot of it myself, when I first got into fic writing I wrote it pretty much exclusively.
I didn't think this was gonna be a long answer but now i wanna talk about it LOL. I just think that when a character is ill (or injured tbh) the Vulnerability that it forces them into can be a really interesting trigger for changed character dynamics. You can have a standoffish or antagonistic character unwillingly in this position be treated gently, with kindness, and soften some of their relationships; alternatively, you can have their soft side come out if they're confronted with someone ELSE being vulnerable. You can have a character who tries to do Everything have to ask for help, you can have just plain fluff between characters with an established good relationship... it's even ok if characters act a bit out of character bc you can blame it on delirium LOL.
Essentially, unless you're getting really funky with it (which you can and it's fun!) a lot of sickfics follow a similar structure/set-up (character gets sick, character deals with being sick, other characters find out character is sick, they are now also dealing with it). Plot and structure is something that I still struggle with even now that I've stepped outside of writing sickfic exclusively, so at the time that I started writing, sickfic offered something of a baseline for me to write what I was really interested in (character dynamics) without having to think too much about the structure! Also it's fun haha >_< even though I've branched out I definitely still favor them quite a bit LOL
sorry for writing u a sickfic essay i am really Normal about it
💌 Is there a favorite trope you like to write?
OMG I WROTE ALL THAT ABOVE AND NOW IM LIKE WHAT DO I SAYYYYYYY I THINK THE ANSWERS ARE THE SAME LOL
let's see. Sickfic Good for the reasons outlined above. I enjoy writing polyamory quite a bit too (character dynamics are so fun!!) but I don't write it as frequently as I'd like bc not all characters are built for it and it can get a bit complex besides.
OH. OH OH OH. teachers/mentor figures. my favorite fic that i've ever written is shockingly not a sickfic: it's called I Accidentally Fell In Love With My Childhood Friend The King And Now My Students Are Also My Sons!? and it's for one of my most favorite animes ever, Oushitsu Kyoushi Haine (The Royal Tutor). (I thought the silly light novel title was funny LOL)
The entire premise of the show is just This Guy Is An Extremely Good Teacher For These Four Misunderstood Students which like. Is lab-grown to be like catnip to me RAAAAAHHHHHHH i've watched the show twice through and cried at the end both times. Anyway. The fic I wrote is technically a ship fic between the royal tutor himself (Heine) and the king (Viktor) who hired him to teach his sons (they get married in this fic hehe >w<), but the focus is really on Heine's relationships with his students, and how they handle their favorite (only) teacher getting married to their father.
I feel like these descriptions don't do the anime or my fic justice LOL all I can really say is that as someone who works with children the anime really touched me and it felt so permeated with genuine love and care for students who are left behind and for teachers who see those students and put in the work to help them. and as for my fic well. now that you've reminded me of it i think i will reread it SKJKDFJSDKFJ
I HOPE THESE PARAGRAPHS ARE OKAY THANK YOU FOR ASKING ME QUESTIONS I REALLY LIKED THESE! YOU ARE VERY COOL!
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I just have to say, genuinely everything in the BMD-verse is some of the best stuff I’ve ever read, BMD has managed to climb it’s way up to being one of my all time favorite fics that I could endlessly re-read and I can’t thank you enough for that. It was so well written and so many subtle details went into making the word feel so real, to the point where I truly felt immersed in the plot and could clearly visualize everything in my head. This fic made me laugh, cry, and had me on the edge of my seat wanting to read more to see where everything went with these two. Reading it helped brighten my day when I wasn’t having the best one. Also I don’t think I’ve ever loved OC’s quite as much as I absolutely love Frank and Loco, you put so much world building and detail into this fic and it really shows so beautifully, you were able to encapsulate the personalities of each character so well, down to the little details in how they react to certain situations or things they’d be likely to say, all while still giving your OC’s just as much depth and personality, you even executed the character arcs so realistically and it was done so damn well. This fic truly felt like a masterpiece and I am so grateful that you decided to create it, so genuinely thank you!
Okay, I didn't expect to cry today but you managed it, lovely Anon. 🥹💚
I've actually been going through a roughish time in my personal life, so you sent me this amazing note at the perfect time...
I'm having a hard time forming actual words right now, but I'm so happy that Break Me Down has become one of your favorite stories, and most of all that it helped brighten your day when you weren't feeling so hot. I definitely have my comfort stories, books, movies as well.
I genuinely put my heart and soul into BMD from conception, to outlining, to writing and editing each chapter. Even now I look at those 19 chapters and can't believe it's something I actually wrote. I'm just a sucker for a redemption story, and after SB's character hooked me, something crazy told me that he should get his chance to become a real hero.
(Here are some more details you probably don't want/need to know about how BMD began. 😅):
After writing Checkerboard, @deans-spinster-witch knows, as I've credited her many times, but she encouraged me to write a "prequel" to expand on how SB might get to that level of character growth.
...And somehow, BMD became an "enemies to lovers" epic. 😂
Thank you also for loving Frank and Loco! I've said this before, but one of the best writing tips I've ever gotten about writing minor characters is this: Write them like they're the protagonists of their own stories.
Give them their own character arcs, however short or long, whether tragic or fulfilled, etc.
When they're in the scene, give them something important to do or say that furthers the plot.
If you can't name a character, 9/10, they probably don't need to be there.
Without both Frank and Loco, Ben and the reader wouldn't have made it through until the end. And those two (especially Frank) now live in my head alongside Ben and the reader and their ever-evolving story.
This fic truly felt like a masterpiece and I am so grateful that you decided to create it, so genuinely thank you!
Damn it, who's peeling onions?! 😭😭
You're so very welcome. 💚💚 It's an absolute pleasure to write for you guys, but also to express myself and get out these stories that live rent free in my head. 😘
(Btw: I totally respect that you're anonymous in my inbox, but feel free to comment on this and let me know who you are -- only if you feel comfortable! You absolutely made my day, hun. 💓)
#ask me stuff#BMD-verse thoughts#writing minor characters#How BMD began#Break Me Down#BMD verse#soldier boy#soldier boy/ben#soldier boy x reader#soldier boy x you#soldier boy x female reader#the boys#zepskies answers
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I wanna hear about scrivener 👀
OH BOY
I saw I had an ask and I was like oh man I hope someone asked me about scrivener.
I write everything in Scrivener. Not just all my fic. I wrote my dissertation in Scrivener, I write my original fiction in it, I wrote the two magazine articles I've published in it.
First I will link you to my Scrivener tag, which probably contains everything I will say here because I never do shut up about it.
So first off, I will admit that Scrivener is not for everyone. Some people work better with linear programs like Word or GDocs without any bells or whistles.
HOWEVER
It is important to know that you can totally 100% use Scrivener without any bells or whistles. In fact, I recommend it at first! Don't overwhelm yourself. Then start to play with the cool features one by one.
I got it in 2014, and literally my fic writing skyrocketed immediately. Same for my dissertation when I started doing that in Scrivener a few months later. It's so good for my brain. It might not be for yours. But it might be just the thing.
I will put most of my gushing under a cut. My brain is only half-functional right now which probably means I'll go on and on and both repeat myself AND forget half the things I want to say.
Things I have done with Scrivener that I can't do with other programs:
I keep all my fic in one Scrivener file, which is called a "project." All of it. Every word of fic I've written since 2014. This does not slow it down AT ALL. In Word if I get over a few dozen pages it starts to crawl. I have well over 1.5 million words of fiction in this project, organized into many subdocuments and folders, and it is smooth as silk and easy to navigate. See the video below.
Why do I keep it all in one project? I'm so damn "out of sight out of mind." When I had all my fic in separate documents in a folder, it was so easy to forget what was there. I'd be working on one thing and forget anything else existed. If I closed that file and didn't open a new one I'd forget that working on fic was a thing I could do. No more! It's all right there in the sidebar so I can switch between fics whenever I want. And I basically just keep it open 24/7, it opens automatically when I reboot my computer.
I do other stuff this way too. All my picture books are in one project, all my magazine stuff is in one project. Love it.
When doing my dissertation I created my own citation manager within scrivener. This is Advanced Scrivening but it shows the versatility.
I used the notecard/corkboard view for this. It's also very useful for things like listing out plot points and figuring out how they fit together.
I don't write as nonlinearly as I used to but I still sometimes need to skip ahead to get a scene out of my head or because I just don't know what comes next but I know what comes after that. Scrivener makes that super duper easy.
I can also make documents within my fic that aren't the text of the fic. I usually have at least one for my outline, and sometimes have one or two for brainstorming when I'm stuck on a plot point or for keeping track of timelines and such. I often also have a doc where I dump cut bits that I might want to use later (or in another fic entirely - anything I know I need to cut but that might come in handy someday).
For original fiction you can get lots of templates that have various things you can use like character sheets or plot beats or whatever. You can have all your character sheets etc right there in the project.
You can put other stuff in it besides scrivener docs. You can drop entire PDFs into your scrivener file, let alone images and such. When I say I had a citation manager within it I mean I literally had the PDFs of the papers in there too. I use this a lot for my nonfiction writing stuff.
There's a split screen mode that's so useful. Sometimes when I'm editing I'll make a copy of a chapter or whatever so that I can keep an eye on what it used to look like to remind myself of where I want to go with it etc etc. Or I might keep the outline over there, or a character sheet, or whatever.
There's a revision mode that will keep track of up to five text colors for different revision stages - BUT what I use it for is tracking my word count. I do all new writing in revision mode, then every so often (especially if I'm about to delete a chunk) I select everything that's whatever color and record the word count in my word count text doc before removing the revision color. Then as soon as I go back to writing everything new that I type is the color again, I don't have to remember to set it back each time. IDK if how I worded that quite makes sense but it works great.
Here is a video I made a while back showing my fic project - as you can see, the ONLY time it slows down at all is when I try to view ALL OF IT at once, which I only ever do very occasionally out of idle curiosity as to my total wordcount. I just checked - I actually now have nearly 2 million words in this project right now. Can you even imagine trying to navigate a 2 million word Word file? That's about 8000 pages. No thank you.
youtube
Also there are mobile versions but I haven't gotten around to downloading those yet. I really should though; when I get the urge to write in the middle of the night on my phone I do it in an email and send it to myself and in the morning I paste it into scrivener lol
Anyhow, I highly recommend trying out the free trial (which is 100% functionality for 30 days) and seeing if it works for you. If you want to buy it, you can find various deals all over the place - for example, a code for Nano participants for 20% off, or if you win nano I think you can get 50% off.
I will say, it's not the best for formatting. I've said this before - I view it very much as a writing program, not a finished-product-creating program. I move my writing to Pages or OpenOffice if I need actual formatting beyond the most basic stuff like bold and italics. Fic I can just put right into AO3, though.
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