#(either way the whole concept is sooo interesting)

[23meteorstreet]

the gang does a clip show is yet another episode that i know some people really hate that feels like it was made for me to be obsessed with

[visenyaism]

They butchered Alicent so bad

oh i LOVED her this episode. some of the execution was a little clunky in places but moving the blood and cheese “pick which of your kids are dying” moment to be a conversation between rhaenyra and alicent was sooo fucking choice in a way i really found compelling.

like aegon this episode, alicent has been realizing she doesn’t know what the fucking point of all of this has been. again like aegon because they were raised in a deeply ableist society she cannot conceive of aegon where he isn’t the king she cannot wrap her head around what he’s supposed to be now all of the suffering she bore to get him to this point was for nothing. aemond is acting scary and out of control to the extent that he is an active threat to her and her other children she does not know him anymore.

she gets out loud explicitly asked by rhaenyra to resolve the dilemma that has been her entire character: she either has to choose her children or her relationship with rhaenyra. otto has been drilling this into alicent’s head since she was a child, alicent has been drilling it into her children’s heads since THEY were children. rhaenyra was the only one who pretended that wouldn’t be a choice forced on alicent! so then rhaenyra is the one to demand this of her it’s CRAZY. and alicent, who has been trapped for almost her whole life who has done everything expected of her and has been left with what? so much blood on her hands, everyone hates her, no one listens to her,and the children that she had to bear the conception and raising of against her will are unrecognizable to her. this war is transactional and will not stop until everyone is dead.

and alicent does something fundamentally selfish and cut them loose in the name of all of this just being over. she wants to be a person again. she can’t tell the difference between being her own and being rhaenyra’s those are the same to her. and then she steps out to look at the wide open sky, out of her cage for the first time ever while rhaenyra settles deeper into hers. that’s so interesting. 

the consequence being that she never had control of the narrative! but she’s still punished for this in how this story is told. she’s largely written into the background of the historical record and when she’s there she’s a caricature of a cold ambitious stepmother-queen. they’re trying really hard to reckon with the historical record as history is happening.

overall, I think I can understand why people are upset about this, but I loved it. I thought it was really compelling and there could’ve been a bit more buildup to that moment for her but I don’t think it’s that far out from her previous characterization at all.

[postnutperfection]

What’s frustrating about the whole Perverts title issue is that it really boils down to people sticking their noses where it doesn’t belong. If everyone minded their damn business on the internet this wouldn’t even have to be a conversation. Its ok to be a lukewarm fan of someone, but I think TikTok has made it feel like you either have to stan someone and be a keyboard warrior in their defense 24/7 or you can’t like them at all. The whole “debate” gets to a point where it feels like im talking to a wall! Even if you didn’t listen to the rest of the album, you have to scroll to find Strangers! Did you not see the literal song titled August Underground on the way there! Hard Times is about CSA! Strangers is literally about her getting eaten! She literally gets cannibalized! I feel that maybe perchance the whole concept of Preacher’s Daughter should be more shocking then an album called PERVERTS

and I know, i knowwww, this has something to do with those motherfuckers on booktok romanticizing every sick and abusive asshole thats somewhat conventionally attractive. I’m sorry but correct me if im wrong but Strangers (at least to me) is not a love song. While Ethel may have loved him and while she may not feel hatred or resentment towards him lets be honest he did not eat her because he loved her, he did it because he is a bad person who does bad things and took advantage of a girl who has known nothing other than abuse. He groomed her and moved her across the country only to drug her and pimp her out and then when he was bored of her he killed and ate her.

I’m just so sick and fucking tired of these stupid ass motherfuckers thinking that they have the media literacy of Jesus H. Christ himself and that think they’re sooo fucking smart when in reality all you have done is taken a BEAUTIFUL and HEARTBREAKING piece of ARTWORK and watered it down for mass consumption. All you’ve done is slapped a pretty little label on it and put it on a shelf to sell to the masses and now the meaning and intention behind it will wither away. Don’t get me wrong, I love TikTok, I think it’s a great place to learn and share and create and find new interests but it gets to a point where it feels like its just a giant cesspool of braindead people talking about how a wood flooring is so “ethel cain lana del rey coquette naturecore maximalist anti-millennial grey girl boss power move”

I know this probably ended up being a incoherent ramble that says a lot and nothing at the same time but I really just had to get it off my chest because holy fuck you guys lets use our brains! hellooo lets lock the fuck in and really do our best to have some sort of competent level media literacy

[sicariodechinchulines]

Damijon headcanon: Dami doesn't flirt, he COURTS.

•We tend to forgot WHERE and HOW Damian was raised. He just doesn't get the concept "Highschool sweetheart". when he first mentioned that, they were at a gala.

"-Im not interested on playdates, that's a waste of time.-" and they nodded because that's SOOO him, but then... "-If someone is interested on my being and dare to ask for my hand, I expect them to be ready for marriage. If not, then is just to be mean a ephemeral game that I won't even bother to remember, they shouldn't either."

Unnecessary to say that reporters we're so fucking excited with that response, so much that they didn't notice Dick Grayson hanging from a chandelier.

• and yes, he had a girlfriend before, even shared some kisses with other ladies and acted like a gentleman for them, but the truth is: he didn't take them seriously.

• Dami was ready for living alone and single, that's not the big deal, but Jon appeared again, and things started to get weird... in an amusing and warming way. Jon was now a mature good looking man, strong and good-natured as always. The little naive and childish boy was gone, and now was a man; a man worthy of his attention, in any areas.

• Without saying ANYTHING about his feels, he started to court Jon in the way he learned was appropriate, the problem is: Jon Kent is not a lady.

AND IS NEITHER SINGLE.

• Flowers, luxurious gifts and expensive jewelry. People started to suspect if Jon became some type of sugar baby for Damian, but when is questioned, Jon unsuspecting, answer "I don't know, rich people are weird"

• yes, people, Damian does HOLD the doors open for Jon, while ignoring the people behind, usually ending on them smashing their faces with the door.

• They rarely travel on cars, but when they do, Dami open the door for him; the bats are BEWILDERED by that.

• Needless to say that Jay DOES want to beat the shit out of him. (I don't blame him, if a sort of Arabic prince- heir of one of the biggest fortune in the world- a fucking Robin is trying to conquer MY boyfriend, I would love to beat the shit out of him too.)

Even if he's mad at him, don't see the point on competing with a child, because after all he's not even 15.

• Everyone knows that this boy is weird in SOOO many ways, but waiting 4 years until the object of your courtship is legally able to touch you, is little to much... even for Superman, who lost his virginity in his late twenties.

• Clark never say anything about that matter, first because he doesn't want to feed rumors, and second..

Because if he ADMIT that he would be okay with Damian marrying his son, Batman will KILL HIM.

•Even if he is worried about the future that Damian and Jon hold as best friends or partners, he can't denied that Damian devotion to Jon is cute.

Sorry but Clark is a hopeless romantic who loves his wife DEEPLY

(and he doesn't like Jay at all, he doesn't knows him as much he would like, neither is happy with the amount of info about his son that is on internet now thanks to jay's activism... but this ray of sunshine don't talk about that because, wHAT IF HE IS BEING HOMOPHOBIC OR SOMETHING?? Don't want to stress his boy with that.)

• after the SHOW Damian Wayne gave at that gala talking about his expectations on a partner and the PROPER way of courtship, the rumors about the younger Wayne being a heartbreaker like his father were over. NOW, they love to talk about how amazing and romantic Damian would be as a boyfriend.

When in an interview, a reporter mentioned Tim Drake-Wayne the titular "The teens dream: A prince like Damian Wayne. His thoughts about dating and how court a lady" he dissociated for 1 whole minute.

• the worst-best come now. Still hanging from that titular a journalist did DARE to ask about PRE-MARITAL SEX. (yes, Bruce demanded that journalist, yes, Bruce won.)

"- Isn't obvious? I'm against it, at least for myself. I don't find shame on waiting the proper person to lost your virginity with... even if I fall in love with SOMEONE who isn't virgin anymore, I'll wait anyway."

And yes, that was a hint for Jon. Jon didn't get it, but the press did.

It was funny how teen boys were so spiteful towards him and how teen girls were so delighted. Damian set the bar so high for Gotham boys.

• even with all the gifts and flowers and food, Jon is the ONLY ONE who don't notice. His mother did, his father did, Batman, Redhood, RedRobin and Nightwing DID, even StARFIRE AND THAT'S A LOT. a night after a mission she just said "Correct me if I'm wrong... but the little Robin is courting Superman according his culture standards, isn't?" And the whole Bat Boys just stared.

"That's adorable... a little gentleman!"

• They usually cuddle. It was hard for Jon getting used to it after YEARS gone, but Damian was weirdly okay with it, even pleased Jon can say.

But there was something unsettling. He don't cuddle him as before, instead he do it in a way that makes Jon feel incredibly conscious about himself, but safe anyway.

Damian does it on purpose, holding Jon head close to his chest when they are on the couch, caressing the side of Jon's jaw and lightly touching his temple.

If Jon is being lucky and Damian too tired, he will press his nose against his curls and close his eyes, answering anything with a lazy "mmh"

• Bruce is worried. He's not Clark, he's not tHAT optimistic. He knows his son and how unhinged and dangerous he can be, and see this said devotion as a time bomb. What if Jon is not that good??? Or Damian manage to CONQUER the teen's heart and decide to guide him into a darker path???? Jon probed that he can DIE for him in most of one occasion, Damian is starting to act the same and is unsettling.

Sorry if isn't readable, my mother language is Spanish and i learned English from comics, translator and weirdly poetic AO3 p0rn. If you're that kind, please point out my mistakes or care to give me an advice so I can better my grammar, ty so much!!!!

[quillkiller]

sirius and regulus as kids, naive and uncertain, experimenting with sex. clumsy handjobs and the likes. And as teenagers they blth remember it only sirius considers it a mistake of youth and half hopes regulus doesn’t remember it. while regulus spends his whole life waiting for sirius and wishing he’d change his mind, consciously or not choosing people who remind him of Sirius the most

!!!!!!

i think it’s soooo interesting to explore because like, neither of them are strangers to family members having to marry, their parents being second cousins and all. so i think familial love gets mixed up with all other types of love and feelings. wires crossed and misunderstandings of boundaries when it comes to brotherly affection / other types of affection because their only role models are already family members who are married. <- difference being that sirius and regulus are 1. siblings and 2. brothers (two boys) so it wouldn’t be encouraged, but it’s understandable that trying to understand how to be brothers in such a fucked up household would be. a Challenge

i think everything drastically changes because of the very fact that sirius gets sorted into gryffindor. suddenly his world opens up in a way it hasn’t for any other family black members in however long, and his little brother doesn’t follow because he’s sorted into slytherin. his world doesn’t open up, he’s stuck in the same cycle of abuse and has always been weaker to begin with it, so nothing changes for him. he follows his ancestors foot steps, sirius does not. <- that’s not to say slytherins are all bad / can’t break free from their roots, i mean look at andromeda etc etc. but! regulus never will ! and one reason, to me, is out of pure spite / wanting to prove himself / prove that he can be better than sirius

i don’t ever consider either of them being fully aware that they’re experimenting sexually together, but i do consider regulus being more aware of it and/or being more affected by it than sirius. sirius understands the basic concept of ’incest! bad!’ and he does think that his parents are incestuous freaks lmao, and most of this is because he got out. he gets sorted into gryffindor, gets to spend almost every day with people from families that are complete opposites to his own family, etc ! so like. he understands the concept of incest being bad, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that he knows where the line gets crossed when it comes to his brother. he doesn’t fully understand what a big brother should and shouldn’t do for his kid brother, the lines have been smudged so long ago, have been crossed so many times. he’s fucked! up! they’re fucked! up!

regulus also understands the concept of ’incest! bad!’ but mainly in regards to his feelings for his brother. he doesn’t find it strange that his parents are second cousins. it’s about keeping the bloodline pure and the house of black is special !! however, reg and sirius are not cousins and they’re brothers (two boys), so he understands that what he feels for sirius is wrong. he knows he’s not going to marry his big brother, knows they can’t have children, etc, knows even that other purebloods would frown at them, so he knows he’s gross and awful and despicable for needing and wanting his brother the way he does. hates his girl cousins for being more appropriate candidates than he’ll ever be but never ever wishing he was sirius’ girl-cousin because he wouldn’t trade being his little brother for anything <- i don’t think that regulus fully comprehends that he’s in love with his brother

i think you’re sooo right about sirius hoping and wishing that regulus wouldn’t remember. like it was such a fucked up part of their youth where neither of them really understood when or where they crossed the line, so obviously it was never something that they ever communicated. it was simply how they loved each other as the black brothers, the heir & the spare, from a fucked up home where familial love and romantic love/lust so easily got mixed up or blurred together. and like. sirius was his older brother, and he’s the one who got out, a chance at normal, and when he finally grasps what went down between him and regulus when they were younger he never ever forgives himself for it. he was supposed to know better, was supposed to protect regulus, take care of him. and now he has to live with understanding what he did to his baby brother ! and maybe it wasn’t his fault that he didn’t know better, but that also doesn’t always matter :/ sirius i Love you.. :( (<- to me, remus is the only marauder who knows about this and who sirius trusted with this. not that he wouldnt trust james, but i don’t think sirius would want james to know this about his childhood)

whereas regulus never gets a chance at normal. his world never opens up. things never change for him, and he will always love his brother just as much as he hates him, has always loved him as much as he hates him. he never tells anyone, never sits down and reconsider his childhood or his feelings for sirius because he simply doesn’t have those resources, his friend group comes from families similar to his own, his friends are people equally as fucked up as he is (<- two twins who entered an incestuous relationship when they were far too young and a kid with major daddy issues who simply grew up Wrong and thinks the rosier twins and their relationship is a perfect example of what family should be). so yeah, regulus never gets a clear view of his and sirius’ fucked up relationship. maybe doesn’t even comprehend that it was actually incestuous. and so he constantly tries ro recreate his fantasies with other people, but never tells anyone, and then one day barty offers his body and says ’you can pretend im him’ and regulus FREAKS out. because that doesn’t belong to barty. doesn’t belong to anyone but himself. it’s private. his disgusting perverse secret smothering his heart.

they make me! crazy !!!!!!! crazy !!!!!

[aibouart]

admittedly, i am afraid to talk about this, but have wanted to for a long while. i don't see a lot of people discuss this kind of thing, but i decided to do so for the me who was struggling and didn't know. also i have no idea where i am going with this and it's very late for me rn so here's a whole ass ramble on vent art. and also a bit more on how it's impacting how i view my art, now. i am terribly sorry if it's not very cohesive, my thoughts on it aren't yet cohesive either WOOPS

i wanted to talk a bit about how vent art really impacted my mental health, and how the idea that art needs some kind of meaning to have meaning really has been weighing on me lately (i know this is a concept i am assigning to my work and is not actually the norm/standard expectation of others consuming art. but it IS a sentiment i have seen enough that does impact me).

i want to specify, obviously i am not saying vent art is bad.

nor that doing vent pieces, or vent blogs, will ultimately result in what i went through for a number of years. rather, that this did happen to me, and there is a near impossible chance i am a unique case in any experience i will ever have. if you do vent art and it helps you, that's good! im not judging anyone for anything here. if your experience does not match my own, that's what it's like to be human~. i am not invalidating anyone on purpose by sharing my own experience. sorry for the insane disclaimer but it will eat me alive if i go to sleep thinking "what if they think x cuz i didn't say y and think im a terrible person"

---

i used to do vent art frequently (you won't find much on here as it was uploaded to a personal at the time). anytime i felt down or had a line of dialogue in my head making me feel bad in a way, i would draw for it. but the way i had interacted with it was really unhealthy. it became a terrible feedback loop where i'd feel bad, draw how i felt bad, look at the art, and ruminate even more on how i felt bad, until it spiralled so out of control i would lose touch with reality and get lost entirely in feeling like garbage.

i would just get so lost in the cycle with vent art that it would make my mental space worse and worse, and i would use the vent art as a negative confirmation bias. the words that hurt me i wrote down and anytime i looked again, they would hurt me again. but i would keep looking, and i would keep drawing.

i have always used art as an outlet, but for some reason the way vent art impacted me was unhealthy. it wasn't a good outlet. and it took me years to cut ties with it. i relied on vent art for a long time, but it took a lot of introspection and thinking to realise it wasn't the release i thought it was. and it was hard to let go, too.

i haven't touched the blog in a few months, now. i haven't done much vent art at all since then and genuinely, i've been doing SOOO much better. i no longer ruminate nearly as much as i had done so, i no longer get caught in a feedback loop that lasts for days to weeks. i still feel like garbage like people tend to do, but i don't put myself in a cycle over it anymore. i have gone back to it a few times in moments of desperation, but what used to be every week/every few weeks is now once a month maybe. and not to the extent at all (i would oftentimes post ~20 images in one night, before).

but i keep thinking about how, while the way i had done vent art was bad for my mental health, i keep feeling that just because i do sparkly cute and happy drawings, now, or drawings with no real meaning, that my art has nothing beyond face value... i do like a lot of my vent art. i think their compositions, or hidden messages and meanings, or colour use, was interesting.

but it wasn't worth the price for me.

so i am a bit caught in an in-between, here. my favourite form of art is the expression of love-you liked something so much, you dedicated time to draw it. and yet i cannot ascribe that to my own work very often. i think that man i wish i could make art with some kind of deeper meaning, that speaks to people, that's more than just pretty colours or shiny shading or a character everyone likes, or a character i like. but i just... don't know if it's for me.

ultimately, i could develop a healthy relationship with expressing and exploring negative emotions or experiences through art, but... do i want to? do i have to? do i need to? is it not enough to just draw something because... i like it..?

of course, the answer is yes, draw what you want, draw how you want, it's your art. but i am still trying to come to terms with that idea. i dont want to be seen as some shallow artist who just draws what's cute and pretty because they can and it's all they can think of, but like what if that's just what i like to draw??

in the end, that alone is good enough, drawing because you like to, because it's fun, because you like the thing you're dedicating time to creating for. it's just hard to grapple with after discarding a type of art that i felt was the only way i drew "for real".

anyways i am sorry this is soooo fucking long, and for all the clarifications (IM STILL NOT SAYING VENT ART BAD AND EVERYONE WILL DO WHAT I DID!! Dx) and the fact i had no real point here (probably)

anyways i will continue to draw what i want because i like to, as i have always been.

[justanotherhh]

Hi! Love your blog! I have a question:

Maybe it's because I listen to a lot of crime podcasts, but I have never associated psychopathy with being aro and/or ace (despite or maybe because I'm on the aroace spectrum myself?). Is this one of those things where there are people out there equating – I imagine especially aromanticism – with being emotionless? I feel like I've mainly heard the – also horrible – comments of aroace people being "like robots". Then again, I'm not "fully" aroace, nor have I had the need to be super open about it, so I don't pay much attention to this stuff.

Anyway, while I agree that calling Alastor an "evil psychopath" is simplifying things something that frustrates me in parts of the Hellaverse fandom in general....or just fandom in general, tbf...I don't think considering him to be on the ASPD spectrum is incorrect?

Enough rambling and onto my main question: in your opinion, should I always clarify that when I call someone a psychopath and that person also happens to be aro and/or ace, that the two things are not correlated? I don't want to accidentally imply something hurtful/feed into a horrible social mentality. P.S. I want to be clear that I don't want to imply that all people with ASPD are murderers/rapists etc either. Though clearly Alastor is the former. Of course they're not. And I can only imagine how much of a struggle living with such a disorder might be.

hello hello, thank you for the questions. i shall try to be methodical and not rambly (we'll see how it pans out)

yeah there's a big ableist and queerphobic cliché around "emotionless" characters being psychopaths who don't love -- basically it's an oversimplification of psychopathy and often conflates it with being psychotic, and of course, it assumes a correlation both between psychopathy and being evil, and being aspec -- especially the kind that's further down the end of repulsed and loveless and aplatonic -- as being evil (with "love" being the opposite of these things, which, tangent, do have a whooole other post on with this show, because it's done some very fun and potentially future-interesting things on love and sex)

the key here is that aro and/or ace is often never spoken of in narratives when this happens because well... people don't know wtf that is, so it's got that similar flavour to "oh well buffalo bill isn't transphobic, because actually the character isn't trans, the cisgender psychiatrist said so!" (actually... whole other thing on that too, but not on this blog... basically jame gumb is underrated and i root for them every time i watch the movie), but it's the Idea that "love makes you human, and sex is always assumed with love, and if you don't feel those things, it's a clue that you're evil, and the shorthand for that is psychopathic" -- generally the person writing this has never actually researched the words psychopath or psychotic, it's not about being interested in those concepts in characters, it's just a synonym for Bad

and yeah, the "like robots" fully ties into this -- the other side of the coin is aspec people as children, but alastor sooo far doesn't seem to be read this way, although the whole "but if he just discovers how to do Love/Touch/Sex in [insert whatever is wanted for this narrative] he'll become better" does play into some of those tropes too, that there is inherently something mentally ill about being aspec, and that being mentally ill is a sign of Badness (there really is a whole Essay i could do on this, and the general overlap between aspec-writing and trans-writing but! i will resist!), and it's about whether or not the Badness can be cured. if not, he's a psychopath, if yes, it's through normative relationship structures/fundamentally changing the character

it all comes down to actual curiosity -- hc'ing alastor as ASPD is totally fine (i also hc blitzø from helluva boss as BPD) and can open up a lot of doors for interrogation and interest, it's whether someone is using mental health as shorthand for shutting down further interaction with the character (think Psycho's "ah yes, this character is schizophrenic and has mother issues, hence why wearing women's clothing, the end"), or if this allows further play with the character, opens up potential doors, considers the character as rounded, rather than one-note. some aspec people do have a history of trauma or have personality disorders or are autistic, but is someone actually interested in exploring the rich variation of queerness within a character, or are we "explaining it away" as something that's merely a symptom (often one that is imagined to be fixable)

generally, im so into poking at villains and i think alastor is one of the juiciest characters ive had to play with in awhile, mainly because it feels like a lot of his writing is intentional and isn't me deciding to delve into the motivations of [slasher/monster/villain/etc] that doesn't actually exist in the text -- and i think alastor definitely does have some Stuff that could be unpacked from a neurodivergent and mental health perspective, even and including parts of his aroaceness

so in the end, picturing him on the ASPD spectrum and even linking that to aroaceness... I mean, totally chill. al-old-pal does have low empathy, and a pattern of reckless, violent behaviour, and fundamentally views relationships differently from the norm. im making arguments that he hasn't been able to create the kind of intimacy that works for him, except for perhaps with rosie and maaaaybe mimzy and niffty (@creepysora has had some very cool ideas of him connecting in alternate ways that work with his way of being and boundaries), but that doesn't mean he's suddenly More remorseful or empathetic about how his actions affect others

it's about whether or not one is using that as a way of minimising or pathologising aroaceness, and/or as a way of making aspec identities all about self-hatred (and that in turn fuels villainy), and/or generally as an explanation of his villainy as some inherent degeneracy, and/or using the word "psychopath" to mean something completely different from what it actually is... that's when we get into sticky territory

and in the end, it can be hard -- something that's perfectly reasonable to one person, could be crossing a boundary for someone else and we just have to live with that, so don't wait on my blessing, i just think as long as one's caring and curious it's heading in the right direction. i watch a lot of horror, and i can usually recognise when something is well-meaning and something is lazy, and even times when it's the latter i can still find enjoyment (think angela from sleepaway camp -- on the flipside the movie they/them was well-meaning and a complete miss in its final political statement)

i recognise also im bringing up a lot of trans villainy as-example, rather than aspec villainy. that's a. because my special interest is trans horror so go figure and b. because that overlap is soooo real

(another example, not horror unless you're a karate kid 3 truther, is the character terry silver, who is never stated to be aromantic, but whose villainy on the later show cobra kai is intimately tied to an unspecified madness that includes low empathy and... no love, vs all the happily monogamous (het) relationships around him. he's not aromantic, he's not diagnosed with anything, it's not of interest to the story that he may be mentally ill or have PTSD or be aro and possibly loveless or that he may be gay -- because yes, he's coded that way too and that overlap is also real, and a whole other tangent i could go on -- it's just subtext to add to the villainy)

now another tangent, but loosely connected: was reading a transcript of the 1974 TS/TV conference (the first of its kind that was organised in the way it was) -- a series of talks over the course of a weekend discussing trans rights, especially in healthcare, and it fully contained a section of someone saying that "true" transsexuals can be recognised because before they physically transition (into binary genders)... they're asexual. because they hate their bodies so much that they can't feel sexual attraction to others. lot to unpack there, but really in this little conversation as example, what i mean is that the roots of pathologising aspec identities run very very deep, including within the wider LGBT+ community, and since alastor is quite a complex character that has done some very bad things, it's worth really thinking about what headcanoning him as one way or another says about the character for oneself. what does it add? what does it potentially demonise or minimise? what does it allow?

the neat thing about hellaverse is the sheer amount of queer characters meaning we can go beyond "if x character is Bad this represents Every person within this group" but with alastor being (so far) the only character who's not doing the whole love-and-sex game (although i think striker counts in this as well, personally + listen... sir pentious givin' real demi vibes. and if we're looking for a link between trauma and asexuality, well, angel is right there. and, and, and...), it does bear going the extra length to learn about -- especially since a lot of people really don't know that these biases even exist in the first place, which leads to a lot of unthinking perpetuating

i think a good place to start would honestly be: "would this feel like a queerphobic and ableist coding if the character were gay? trans? bi?" not because we're totally over queerphobic writing in general (lol, can you imagine), but as a starting point: are we treating aspec identity in text in a way that makes the idea of being aspec in and of itself degeneracy?

but like. hell yeah villains. hell yeah neurodivergency, mental illness, low empathy, lovelessness, unhealthy coping mechanisms, Bad Mean Queers, cannibalism, and characters you just can't quite suss out. big into a fucked up little guy

how did i do on the ramblyness

[hell-drabbles]

Hi!!! I would like to apologise first for my bad english but reading through your blog made me think of something: How do you feel about an Angel! Companion not the angst one where they got angelification but as in God's creation. Companion is somewhat of an angel already on how they correct and guide Ra-on.

Angel! Companion who is a blank slate grew up with Ra-on and Minhyeok who later started to adapt human emotions.

Angel! Companion who died protecting Ra-on and causing him a mental break down.

Angel! Companion who after their death methamorphosise(?) into their angel form.

Ra-on who is feeling conflicted, happy to see his companion alive but at the same feeling betrayed/ in disbelief by Angel! Companion's secret.

Angels who are obsessed with regrooming Angel! Companion out of their humanity because they are not letting their youngest sibling not know about Angel Ethics.

Sorry for the long paragraph. I'm kinda obsessing over the whole wolf in sheep's clothing concept. I am sooo interested in your thoughts or HC about this.

Let's see... Well, I hope you don't mind if my thoughts go all over the place and in no chronological order.

Playing around with a concept like that, I would imagine that this Companion was essentially God's last creation before he vanished, a sort of incomplete creation at that because they had basically nothing. No role, no position or anything of the sort. Really, the only thing they have going on in their head is that drive to seek out God, if only to find out the reason why he made them this way. And so, without telling anyone, and without anyone caring, they simply wandered out of Heaven and went to the human world.

They wander, probably take on the form of a kid and end up meeting Ra-on and Minhyeok and the rest is basically history. While it's not official that the Companion is adopted, the Companion is either living with Ra-on or Minhyeok. Childhood shenanigans ensue, kiddos admiring the coolheadedness of the Companion, their big ol strength.

And, of course, the tragedy happens. Ra-on parents are killed. My angsty brain wants to have the Companion be there for that event. Death isn't new to them so they're not in a state of panic, but it's still incredibly unsettling to see the Companion covered in blood while curled over Ra-on as they blocked his ears.

I like to imagine that the angel that killed Ra-on's parents recognized the Companion as one of their kin and actually pats the Companion on the head for the sheer level of emotional manipulation they're doing on Solomon's bloodline. They'll come for Ra-on later, so make sure he doesn't die to something stupid. This angel is talking some real revealing stuff so the Companion has to block Ra-on's ears.

This type of Companion would have a different dynamic with Ra-on compared to the original, because this Companion would be more driven by guilt for intentionally keeping Ra-on in the dark about some heavy shit. Leads to a lot of avoidant behavior on the Companion's part and any anger would just, be pushed riiiight down because the guilt would come back. Then they'd just, disengage from any and all conversations and just, calm down. This does lead to Ra-on believing that he's a burden to them, that the Companion can't stand the sight of him anymore. He tries to close the deepening gap, but until the root of the problem is solved, it's only going to make things worse. Are they even friends anymore?

The answer is yes, and it is unfortunate that they're both controlled by deep shame of themselves. The Companion can and will risk their life for Ra-on, because how else can they make up for the fact that they've been lying by omission for all these years.

And so comes the time for the Companion to finally be free of that disguise of theirs. Whatever the circumstances, be it to save their own life or some sort of messed up rebirth, the Companion is back to how they used to look, and now Ra-on has to digest the fact they've been lying for so many years. But, as much as he wants to be angry, the Companion was then stolen away, back to Heaven.

Man, I really wish I had more information regarding Heaven and how it works. My brain can only create so much before it spits out not so good ideas.

[124ndm]

villain!deku rambles.. eeerrmmm

i rlly want to start a comic about villain!deku, but im a little hesitant because i feel like it would be WAY too big of an undertaking for me..

but if ur at all interested, my ideas are below the cut. ^_^

My concept would start with the sludge villain incident. Other heroes get to saving bakugou before both midoriya or all might. This, in turn, means that he never gets OFA.. and never joins the hero course (yadada im sure this has all been written before). However I DO think that he would still join UA. Thats really my main motivation behind making a comic like this. In a lot of villain!deku stuff I see, he tends to abandon hero work altogether.. which i just dont think he'd do!! midoriya is VERY determined when he has his mind set on something, so I feel like he'd find some way to go to UA one way or another.

So, what would make him a villain then?? Well, it would definitely be a gradual build-up overtime. Assuming he takes the support-course route (which ig would make this a mashup of two aus, LOL), I think it would start with him helping vigilantes. Low-level illegal heroes convince him that by making support items, midoriya can advance in his field. He keeps doing these sorts of favors, knowing its unethical, out of a desperation to feel useful and help the 'heroes.'

I also think as a sort of parallel to bakugo, he'd start hanging around bad classmates like bakugo did during middle school. Being in a support course as opposed to a hero course means a very different demographic of students. We see a lot of instances IRL of students going into engineering good intentions, only to throw away morals for higher paying jobs (i'm sure yall have seen those Lockheed Martin tiktoks, need I say more 💀). We know characters like mei hatsume are very honest and dedicated to their craft, but what are the lower-level students like? What about the other classes? We don't really see much of that, so I think it'd be fun to explore the morally gray students of UA.

I think his final breaking point would be when he gets in kahoots with Giran. I don't think giran would immediately clock midoriya as a potential recruit, but instead would change his mind later: seeking out midoriya after Shigaraki shows interest in bakugo. (sure, they aren't in the same class anymore, but both of them being in UA works as a convenient connection).

After midoriya gets with shigiraki, I believe he'd certainly get a quirk (whether or not midoriya actually wants it, Im sure theyd give him one anyways. more power to their organization, and more leverage over midoriya). Soon after, the LoV would get into an altercation with class 1-A, which would probably get him expelled. Although, in-turn, fuel a stronger disproval towards hero society (and also compel izuku to get better at using his quirk, knowing that he has a lot of catching up to do).

And duh as the cherry on top, there'd be bkdk angst.. bakugo only realizing that midoriya got into UA after seeing his association with the league. The weird guilty feeling bakugou would get knowing that a kid he bullied ended up becoming a villain, but also pure anger at knowing that he even got into UA in the first place. And also, the inevitable midoriya/bakugo fight that would happen when the league and class 1-A have more encounters.

I haven't exactly decided on how to end it, but I feel like it would end with either a redemption or something similar to the whole togachako situation. More likely a redemption because, lets be for real here, midoriya is so kind-spirited that even as a villain: he'd probably fold when faced with a genuine bakugo apology or heart-to-heart All Might encounter LOL.

anyways im deffff yapping here, I did NOT intend for this post to be so fucking long HELP. I just really wanted to get my stupid ideas written down. Like i said earlier, this has prob been done before if we're being quite honest.. but I still I think making a comic like this would be sooo fun. But godd i am NOT a good writer so I worry that I would start and then never finish. aaaaah 😭😭

I'll just have to see if my motivation sticks around these next few weeks. If so, I'll probably start drafting this out!! If I do lose interest, well then.. this'll be the last you hear of my villain!deku rambles LMAO. I rlly hope I don't lose interest because this would be the first time ive written since like, early high school, and I really want to get back into writing again. Even in comic form, any kind of writing would be great practice for me. Dx

[narrators-journal]

Heyy! I hope this isn't a bother, but I'm absolutely craving some Fyodor x Reader! Sooo, imagine this—Fyodor was your husband in a past life, and now he finds you again in Yokohama, working for either the ADA or PM. Obviously, he can't just let his *wife* be with someone else, right? I’d love to see more of that whole 'immortal x mortal' vibe, ahh! And to keep it true to his character, he calls Reader 'Anna' even though they have a new name now. Hope you have a great day/night! ☺️

(Make him have this yandere 'I'll kill every human that matters to you' vibes as cherry on top🤫)

This is another short one. I tried to pack in as many details as I could, really craft the scene despite that. And, I hope Fyodor is in character, I tried to keep him lmao. I hope that’s clear, and I hope that it sates you! I kept the reader somewhat gender-neutral and vague, and I hope that helps more people enjoy this lil ditty.

Reincarnation wasn’t something Fyodor Dostoevsky usually bought into. The concept came from ancient vedic religions, usually polytheistic ones, which Fyodor didn’t tend to follow closely nor care about. He preferred more monotheistic religions. That way he didn’t have to share the attention and love of his followers with anyone. And, that way, nobody else could think to challenge him.

Yet, as the pale ravenette sat wrapped in his cloak in the lightly busy cafe to watch you politely order your daily coffee and muffin. His violet eyes locked onto you while you stood at the baked-good-littered counter, he knew. The way that you stood, shifted on your feet while you waited on the barista, it was all familiar to the russian who sat with his inky, shoulder-length hair pulled up into a ponytail. You may have not looked quite the same, but he’d learned everything about you in the years you’d been his. So, he knew it was you, reincarnation or not.

How exactly you’d come back?...he couldn’t say, much to his annoyance. But, that didn’t change what he saw now on that chilly winter morning. That didn’t change how easily he recognized your features a week before, and right now. Though, despite how easily he’d recognized you, he knew that you weren’t likely to have the same moment of recognition he had. No. He thought while he watched you thank the barista and make a beeline for the door. Quick to vanish into the flow of civilians to start your shift at work. They would need to fall in love all over again. They don’t remember me.

He sighed at the thought, his eyes returned to the cup of coffee that he had no interest in. The warm fragrance of caffeine mixed with the scents of muffins, cookies, and cakes as he sat at the slightly wobbly table in thought. I’ll need to remind them. Remind her of our time together in the past, and of the vow they made to me. He decided, It’ll take time, but I have plenty of that. The only real threat is their current partner, and their friends. I can’t rely on our childhood bond, she wasn’t raised in any cult in this life, let alone my family’s cult. So, I’ll have to be a bit more ruthless in keeping her attention on me.

He hummed a bit to himself and nodded at his own plan. before he got up and picked up the now-cold coffee he’d ordered at least an hour ago at this point. Just need to get rid of her friends and lovers. Keep her safe until she regains her memories. He thought, a small smile on his lips as he tossed the cup and strolled out into the busy streets of the winter day.

Normally, the cloak-clad russian would follow you to work to judge how friendly you were with your coworkers and boss, but, today he meandered off towards your home instead. The throngs of people alive with chatter, gossip, and complaints of their daily to-dos. Did any of them know you? Were they your best friend? He’d spent the week on a hunt through your internet footprint to find any connections or information he could use. He knew who your friends were, and he recognized nobody as he passed, but that didn’t mean the strangers weren’t somehow aware of you, somehow a threat to Fyodor’s plan.

[thefirstknife]

In all honesty I want some sorta armistice with some amount of Lucent Hive for really 3 major reasons:

Absolute banger aesthetic and designs. Super cool I honestly wish I could play as one (My Necro.Grip+Osteo build & GotD armor set is the closest I'll get)

They're such an interesting concept and I need to actually see how theyre dealing with being Lightblessed. Culturally, personality I want a Hive that isn't a god to talk to us

Haha what if we were both immortal beings from opposite factions, given powers that are our ontological opposites going through a philosophical metamorphosis bc if it... ,and we kissed 👉👈🥺

Yeah, same! I would love some section of the Hive to ally with us OR to at least have a temporary truce. It would be super cool to see how that develops and if those Hive maybe look at our way of doing things and consider joining us permanently instead of following those that they were essentially born to follow.

Some Lucent Hive making a choice to stand with us would offer some super interesting implications for the Hive as a whole and also for how we would deal with that. I'm soooo interested in how Lucent Hive are developing and we've not really had any substantial exploration of that yet. It's actually one of my biggest problems with WQ and that whole year. It was such a fundamental change to the setting but didn't actually meaningfully change anything. They're still all our enemies, Lucent Hive follow the same type of philosophy, none of them have shown any sort of doubt or change of heart outside of that one from Lucent Tales who didn't want to perma-kill a Guardian.

I really hope that at some point (soon) we'll see how they're developing and how they'd act if they were given a friendly hand from us. I can see this happening either if we extend that hand on our own or if we're forced to work together and some Lucent Hive end up liking our way of things.

100% agreed on the last point. Lucent Hive are sooo kissable.

[toshkakoshka]

im a teen refugee so i'm really huge on the whole "lost childhood" thing. i think it's a really interesting concept when applied to spiderpeople because a lot of them were bitten at 14/15 and had to take on this huge responsibility which obv affects them in insane ways, essentially not giving them time to grow up. yk how anne rice used vampires as a metaphor for being gay in "interview with the vampire"? the spider bite could be a metaphor for anything really, but it boils down to that intense feeling of grief over normal experiences that they'll never have now. i feel like hobie becoming spiderman gave him more of a purpose in life, as prior to that he didn't have good living conditions either, but it also have him the ability to travel dimensions. the ability to maybe find himself in other dimensions, where the other version of him happily lives with his family... all that stuff that miguel saw.

another thing i'm really huge on is hurt/comfort, sooo... pav seeing hobie drown in all this existential dread, and, well, he can't defeat the multiverse for his boyfriend, but what he can do is make a safe space where hobie would truly feel at home. where they can do their silly little cozy date nights and leave behind their day to day responsibilities for a few moments. pav would decorate it and stuff and then surprise hobie with the end result. honestly love that for them

OH YEAH DEFINITELY!!! it's a really like. overshadowed thing but it's really unfortunate that the spiderkids tend to grow up wayyy too fast for their own age. they're all burdened with the weight of these issues and it's so sad to think about :((( hobie and gwen are very much good examples as to how they've matured too fast (im sayin that gwen also suffers this and i could go on rambling about it because she and peter b's dynamic is crazy to me. its like shes the mature one but that's a post for another day) and like. ohhh my god so fucking true.

anyway YESSSS 😭😭😭 anythign to cope with their reality is such a good leeway for them to be able to pay attention to each other. they need each other 'cause it's really them (and the other spider support system) against a world that's always been cruel to them... they deserve the world truly...

[aristotels]

Thinking about art and fiction and concepts of ownership and honestly it's kinda fucked that collaborative and transformative storytelling is literally as old as time and one of the most basic human instincts that exists, but the only good word it we have right now is "fanfiction"

and when you tell people you write fanfiction they think you're some kind of cringe weirdo and possibly pervert and then the whole thing gets derailed by this bizarre side discussion into how "No it's not all porn, it's absolutely everything and anything imaginable, duh, but like, even if it were all porn, that would also be okay". Like I'm all for pointing out the double standards about how published authors who put sex into their stories don't lose any respectability (especially if they're men, and especially if the sex is cishet), but the second I, a fanfiction person, add a romantic arc into my plotty casefic suddenly I'm a fujoshi with shipper brainrot etc etc-

But it's tiring that this is even a focal point

My favourite funny and sad thing is watching people (usually dudes) who clearly either view themselves as above fanfiction or have simply never ever thought of themselves as "the type" to do creative writing discover The Fanfiction Urge, because the way they express it is like. An increasingly passionate and detailed video essay about how Movie should have gone instead, or, my favourite, a story about something cool that happened to them in XCOM or Darkest Dungeon or some other Difficult Game For Serious Gamers and by the end of the post they're legitimately just writing prose. Like look at this! LOOK! Damn if this person didn't speedrun the gamerbro-to-AO3 pipeline just for a sec. And not that there's anything wrong with those formats but it makes you wonder if that's something they'd be interested in exploring more if their wings got unclipped

Or DnD. Small wonder that TTRPGs are becoming so popular when they're one of the few increasingly non-cringe ways to do the extremely basic human urge of Tell Story Collaboratively

A friend of mine had this to say recently about his own struggles with this kind of internal bias:

i'd like to try out Thousand-Year-Old Vampire (a solo role-playing game with minimal rules to make you write your own narrative) and my toxic masculinity is getting in the way. discouraging thoughts include: i'm not creative enough; creative writing is for Floofy Humanities types and i am a Cold STEM type; it's not a real game unless it has Systems that you can Study and Master. would anyone like to say something encouraging?

and honestly that's incredibly illuminating innit isn't it. The splitting off of creative activity (not just fanfiction, either) into something only for Floofy Humanities Types but not Serious People and the way it's linked to whether or not you can make money off it... oof.

This became a long post thank you for your patience

ngl i just dont rly care that much for fandoms... i like fanfic, i read it and write it, but i dont rly see fandom as my identity or smth i particularly care about, to me all of it is just the same as me playing with barbie dolls.

i dont think its something special that can be compared to actual literature and i think there are certain problems w booktok people relying on tropes that come from fanfic mentality. its just not the same, and i do wish people who like fanfic would sometimes also read.......some actual books sometimes

i just generally dont see what youre describing as some huge thing or problem, i think anti-kink ppl doxxing artists is the major worrisome thing when it comes to fandoms, but i think the doxxers also take the whole fandom experience too seriously

and i say this as someone who also writes fanfic, so like, it rly isnt me going "fanfic authors/readers are stupid", i find fanfic super cool to explore yourself, fanart taught me sooo much as an artist, i even enjoy roleplaying; all of this serves a very real purpose of exploring things as a human in realms of fiction, and pre-existing characters make that easier. i think that can be very useful, we learn about ourselves through books and stories. i just think fandom should be treated the way it is - playtime with toys ✌️

[its-your-mind]

Looooved your thoughts on homeschooling as someone that comes from a country where that's not a thing - not just that, it's also illegal.

My parents wanted me to skip a grade because I was excelling in school in like the 3/4th grade and all my teachers were advising against it. They highlighted how important it was for me to socialize with kids my age, and how difficult it would be for me to fit in with kids that were older not just because they all already knew each other, but also because I would have to do double the work - learning stuff at a higher grade + socializing with kids in established friendship groups. I am sooo grateful my teachers looked for my best interests instead of just listening to my parents because I was already a quiet kid with few friends and it would have made my life immensely more difficult. I suspect I may be on the autism spectrum but I never got tested as a kid despite lacking social skills and I can't really get tested now because therapists here don't think that's a thing they can test adults for so I'm kinda stuck not really knowing just suspecting. But socializing - and socializing irl - is incredibly important, even for adults, and while I was chill being isolated during the pandemic lockdowns, it did set back some of the skills I used to have. It's even more important for kids that don't have those skills to begin with because they don't have enough life experience because they're young.

I’m glad your teachers did that for you - there honestly is almost no evidence that suggests that bumping students up a grade is at all helpful for academic growth, and it is SO frustrating when that is proposed as an option. Are there always going to be kids who pick things up faster than their peers? Absolutely. Does that mean we can just… not teach them all the concepts that get taught in 3rd grade? Fucking?? No???? Like, no amount of natural intellect is going to help a ten-year-old kid just suddenly learn their multiplication tables and the differences between verbs and nouns.

Because school! Is not really about cramming knowledge into brains - like obviously it is, but this is definitely not the format that imparts knowledge most efficiently. Tbh? The most important part of school overall over the course of an entire childhood? Is the social/emotional development. In fact, like I said in those tags, that is 110% what took the hardest hit because of COVID. Teachers are scrambling right now to come up with ways to catch students up on their social/emotional learning (SEL), which is REALLY HARD because so much of it is just… baked into the way school…. is.

Learning how to sit quietly and listen, how to have discussions in a large group, how to work in smaller groups, how to be considerate of the people around you, how to exist in a shared space… all of those are lessons that are part of elementary education, but it’s been so long since any teacher has had to think hard about how to teach them - even if kids forget their math facts over the summer, they’re not going to forget about the concept of raising their hands.

Anyway, I’m not gonna soap-box, but it’s been so rough to teach these past few years after COVID specifically because all of these kids were basically homeschooled for 6 months - 2 years, and none of them have an innate understanding of how to Exist In The World, which means that none of them are able to learn from each other either. It’s almost like every kid in the whole world got tossed onto the spectrum all at once, but just in the “lack of understanding of social expectations” wedge.

Tl;dr: things suck in schools rn bc every kid got homeschooled for an itty bitty chunk of time. Imagine how much it might fuck up kids who are homeschooled for their entire childhoods.

[cannibal-nightmares]

For the ask game, 9, 10, & 34 !!

from this ask game!

9 - Tell a story from your childhood.

I'll admit, this ask sat in my inbox because of this question. I've realized I remember mostly only snippets and themes and flashes from my childhood, and I think I've taken the word "story" too seriously in this context; the actual "stories" that remain are either that of horror, or teenage mischief (in which I am not about to be a bad influence on the internet heheh), some of which I would need help from my friends to recall in detail. I tried to maybe find my old photos of when I dressed up as Crona for Halloween when I was about 12 years old, but they must be on my old computer. (For the record, I don't remember that Halloween, I just know it happened. My two best friends dressed up as Medusa and Eruka.) My memories seem to be that of a zoetrope with a lot of the frames cut out; don't get me wrong, I spin them, still, all the same, but I must say it took me a whole month to think up of something to answer with...

Let's see, how do I start this story... I suppose I should preface that I was a bit of an anarchist in high school, in the ways that I could be. An example of which, with the help of some friends, we started two clubs, one of which was an under-the-table incognito after-hours ordeal that was meant for queer kids to have a space with like-peers--especially if their homes were unsupportive and unsafe--and the second was the art club. Now, an "art club" may seem pretty standard, but it was more or less based around a similar idea to the former ^^; But the reason I am describing all of this is because the art club--being comprised of a bunch of other-minded LGBT and ally kids--simply didn't want to (or couldn't, due to their idenities) go to prom. Sooo, instead, we organized a trip to Volcom (RIP), an art studio, an outdoor art museum, and--the headlining event--the graffiti park (also RIP). The graffiti park was just as it sounds: Tiered rows of walls where the public could just come by to make art. We all dressed up in thrifted formal wear (yknow, stuff we could get paint on, dresses and button ups) and played around with spray paint for the afternoon. I caught a glimpse of what makes Austin TX that day as a guy sat at the foot of the hill with a typewriter--you could pay or trade him anything to have him write you a poem (I didn't get a poem from him, but I did get one from an artist last year ^^), and... A guy and his friends who spotted my buttons. He asked if I wanted to trade pins with him. Being a kid, I cautiously declined, but he departed with words I still hold very close to me to this day:

"Peace, love, and anarchy."

10. Would you say you're an emotional person?

This is a fascinating question because I have no idea how to answer it. When you initially sent this, I paced around about it until I got tired. I feel inclined to say "Yes, undeniably," and simultaneously "absolutely not." I'm mentioned before that I'm schizoaffective--one part schizophrenic, one part bipolar--but, I'll admit, the latter has hard for me to get my head wrapped around and conceptualize, I've only very recently have been able to observe and acknowledge when more intense emotions come and go, arrive and vanish without notice. But this is just the thing, right? Observation? I don't know how not to compartmentalize my emotions, so while I might feel something intensely, I sincerely don't know how to express it in a way that's adequate (or "appropriate"), so oftentimes I just don't. Or I get ahead of myself and know I am going to feel completely different--and very starkly so--so my subconscious tries to constantly find a middle ground to rectify future confusion for anyone else involved, or to mitigate the damage of whiplash. How do I explain this? It's hard to excite me, but very easy to interest me, and I often worry that discourages folks sometimes because I tend to have a flat affect about things. "Mania vs happiness" is a very new concept I've been trying to untangle and decode within myself, too. For whatever it's worth, the only emotion I have a firm grasp on is rage--nothing makes me more level-headed and laser-focused than pristine anger, hahaha, and, really, I don't know why. Am I emotional? I don't know. I guess on paper, at least, I am. I come upon social situations and obstacles and I can't help but break them all down to fact and observation. A sort of disorganized tidbit here, but, too, if anything, I struggle to name the emotions I do feel; when people ask how I am, I don't know how to answer other than describing whatever activity I'm doing or project I'm neck-deep in. With both constant compartmentalization and a broken affect (either generally flat or I can't stop grinning about nothing), it's hard for me to pin it down. Perhaps I should ask for an outside perspective... I hope this starts to answer your question.

34. Any pet peeves?

I could ramble on about how much I can't stand small talk from strangers or when my colleagues use work-specific lingo in trying to communicate with patrons, but I've got one better: It blows my mind (/neg) when people seemingly don't have a shred of curiosity about anything. Nothing? Really? NOTHING is fascinating? Okay, yeah, maybe plants are boring to the next guy and maybe they don't care about how the cogs in a machine work, but when I drop a foreign word at work or a patron comes in with a wacky hat or we watch birds court on the sidewalk or we hear a questionable factoid on the news and nothing makes you go, at the very least, "huh..." ??? Rocks my world in a bad way. And I'm not talking about someone with low energy or someone who has a hard time focusing to absorb these kinds of things, I'm talking about "Hey, do you ever wonder--" "No." WHAT. Nothing at all? And curiosity doesn't have to be factual, "why does the moon revolve around the earth?" it doesn't have to be social, "What's your favoruite color?" Curiosity can be dragging a pen across paper just to watch a line appear; so when someone has absolutely no fascination? Maybe it's just something I don't understand. Tell me, AITA? Curiosity is the only thing that keeps me sane, I swear by it.

Thank you so much for the asks and for your patience. ^^

[sieglinde-freud]

For the ask game: Ophelia and Camillia

HELL YEAHH hi stedy :) starting with ophelia

How I feel about this character

shes so cute. obviously super similar to her dad and while i feel like she doesnt do the chuuni thing quite as well, i think its cute that its mostly in an attempt to emulate her father, the bestest guy in the world to her, which differentiates it from odin’s mannerisms that were formed as a coping mechanism. shes just very happy and i love that for her :)

All the people I ship romantically with this character

i remember really liking her with hisame at one point? i think i still do but i cannot tell you what their support is about. i forgot entirely. honestly, i need to brush up on the fates second gen because theyre a huge blank spot in my mind 😭 but like, conceptually, i also like her with shiro, caeldori, nina, forrest, and mitama. i just have to actually read those…

My non-romantic OTP for this character

i like her little trio with forrest and nina :) theyre so cute in heirs of fate… i wish we could see more of the second gen dynamic like that. in my head i also like her friendship with soleil, but… in terms of whats given to me in the game… its just… eugh.

My unpopular opinion about this character

i dont think she’s a better unit than odin in conquest. i guess it can depend on who her mom is, but odin is generally going to have much more survivability due to his defense and hp + joining you pretty early, making his role as a nostank reliable and costs zero effort. ophelia takes time, and ideally you want to hold off on getting her for skills/offspring seals. any early game build can be done with nyx or elise, to less potency maybe, but with way less effort especially now that the best way of support grinding (mycastle easy seize) is no longer possible. of course, you can use dlc maps but if you take dlc into account conquest is a whole different game.

One thing I wish had happened

how about something i wish didnt happen? her support with soleil is genuinely one of these most uncomfortable things i have ever read in fire emblem which is saying a lot! because the writing in these games suck! for the most part it is soleil’s problem and not ophelia’s, so maybe i shouldn’t be complaining about it here, but i dunno man. its just… its so bad. i cant even read it in game like it gets a physical reaction out of me and not a positive one.

ok camilla now :)

How I feel about this character

i love her lots :) my savior on conquest and she had the best hair in the game. her supports are… pretty unfortunate most of the time but i think the ones that matter are really good and she’s a really sympathetic character when you get over intelligent systems not trusting in her enough to be popular and slapping the gooner bait “big sister” crap on her

All the people I ship romantically with this character

i really dont have a major preference for her? in game, i usually prefer pairings that give her a kid because 1) woag god stats and 2) her hair color is sooo good i cannot waste it. but in terms of just shipping, shes good with like. everyone. some supports are bad but i can get over most of them if i like the ship as a concept. but off the top of my head i like her with selena, beruka, takumi, saizo, peri, laslow, odin, niles, hinoka, charlotte, arthur, reina, probably more but. yeah shes versatile to me. godmilla

My non-romantic OTP for this character

leo!! all the nohr siblings really but i think camilla and leo specifically are just. they give me lots of brain worms. elise obviously wasnt born yet to exeprience the concubine wars, and as the heir and, iirc, the only legitimate son garon had, xander didn’t really get involved as much either. im sure it affected him, but he wasn’t there actually taking part in it. leo and camilla shoulder a lot for their siblings and i think its very interesting that despite it all, theyre probably the only people that can ever really understand what the other has been through. and i enjoy their supports too, with leo wanting camilla’s attention but not being willing to voice it, and camilla understanding that her smothering would probably just piss him off so she tries to avoid it, until they ultimately find a healthy medium and can start to kind of… work on their relationship with eachother after everything. i love them lots :)

My unpopular opinion about this character

im not sure i have one? i feel like opinions on camilla are so all over the place so its kind of hard to have one thats “unpopular.” but i’ll say that i prefer her in malig knight rather than wyvern lord which is probably the worse play in most scenarios but… oohh hot lady on undead dragon… im very simple.

One thing I wish had happened

more elaboration on her past and her mother and some more story relavance for her. she just kinda… fades into the back after leo and xander come which happens with the other sisters too, but still……