#(edit: 50+ minutes with tags)

[allseeingharlequin]

A literal rant about a specific moment in Pt 39 "The Detective"

I just had some choice words about Arthur and John's bullshitery

I always want to rewrite this part because they're so mean to him and for what?? The order meeting is at freaking 10pm you're not in a hurry

Like yeah he "seems distracted" and he SOUNDS nervous as hell, he seems scared to tell you something which is cause for concern yes but wtf? what about common human decency guys? like an "are you ok?" SOMETHING ALONG THOSE LINES WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE?? Instead of straight up trying to leave? He came here specifically to tell you something he seems nervous about and your immediate response is to be a dick about it?

He's not "wasting your time" he's trying to tell you something, just like Arthur did earlier in the same episode to Noel, he came in the cafe and seemed nervous and you know what Noel did? HE ASKED IF YOU WERE OK YOU FUCKING ASS

And then Noel literally starts telling them and fucking Arthur INTERRUPTS HIM TO SAY "cut the cryptic shit and tell us what's going on"

Stfu Arthur, as if he didn't JUST START DOING THAT BEFORE YOU RUDELY INTERRUPTED HIM? TAKE THAT STICK OUT OF YOUR ASS FOR FIVE SECONDS

Anyway thats my rant of the day, a literal rant this time because that actually pisses me off every time I listen to it lol

And this is something I've been thinking about since before I even really cared about Noel as a character so it's been marinating in my brain for a while

[iono---zone]

mizushihoers theres something coming your way,,

[sapphiim]

non-fulfilment

my debut on re0 ao3, i bring to you the sekhmet mother-related angst no one asked for, which you can read here.

[freepassbound]

5K... again

Okay, well... after seven years... feeling like the time has come:

Hello, y'all! 😊

(my friend @thatsuccubabe is unfortunately gone - hopefully temporarily, or more importantly whatever is best for her - but she suggested a tagged selfie post-train as a good idea; I don't really know a lot of people who post selfies 😅 - but I will go out on a limb and tag @i-am-ms-rebel-heart, @reddevilgoddess, @stormblessed912, @skinreflectsthesun, @brujadelsur, and @bumpintheroad)

[ravenwolfie97]

is it a controversial opinion to have that abridged series can actually be a work of art in and of themselves

[blazingblorbos]

Hello, I made something  (=′∇`=)

Honkai Chapter 37 Act 3 Sillies

please watch? :)

[oh-hawkeye]

Oh, say goodbye to Henry for me. He'll understand.

M*A*S*H, "Sometimes You Hear the Bullet"

[doomdoomofdoom]

Due to request, actual TLDR:

When Donald Trump said "She wants to do transgender surgeries on illegal aliens that are in prison", he was referencing her response to a 2019 questionnaire by the ACLU. In that response, she acknowledges that gender-affirming surgery is a necessary medical procedure. Therefore, people in the states care, like people in prison, have a right to receive it. This is a change in stance to her 2015 case as Attorney General, in which she argued HRT and psychotherapy were sufficient for an incarcerated trans woman. She also wore a funky jacket once. I find this development and her described stance to be good. Based, even. [end TLDR; ramble below]

^ prev tags

This is by far the funniest response to this post?? It's actual sentences all the way down, and uses next to no slang? The reason I put "TLDR: Based" at the end is that I worried the actual text was too dry for people to read and they'd misinterpret the sentiment. It's also right next to the sources being linked in case someone does want the dry information.

But I am a fan of accessibility, so I've added the TLDR at the top of this reblog.

Also for additional information you can still check out the sources linked in the OP and refer to another reblog for clarifications.

Kamala Harris does want "transgender surgery on illegal aliens that are in prison", btw.

So since Trumpists are getting mad enough about the jokes to actually cite their sources, I thought I'd put the source out into my left extremist commie faggot echo chamber, too.

The claim originates from an ACLU questionnaire she filled out for her 2020 presidential candidacy, specifically this section:

She wasn't given a new questionnaire for 2024, and has stated that while her policy on some things may have changed, her values had not. (This most likely means she moved more to the center to appease larger demographics and cut corners to reach compromises. The basic politician stuff.)

It boils down to this: If you're in prison, whether for "illegal" immigration or other crimes, you rely on the state to provide you with necessary amenities, like food and health care. Her argument isn't "hell yeah everyone in prison should get sex changes for free". It's "gender affirming surgery is a necessary medical procedure. If you are in the states care while this becomes necessary, the state should provide it." If you're outraged by your tax money being used on this, consider the massive amount of people being incarcerated in for-profit prisons, on your dime. Then ask yourself if maybe a prison reform might be in order.

Worth noting: In 2015, while Attorney General, Kamala Harris actually argued against providing gender-affirming surgery to an incarcerated trans woman, claiming that HRT and psychotherapy were sufficiently covering her medical needs. She has since obviously changed her stance and assumed responsibility. (I would like to take this moment to remind my fellow left extremist commie faggots that "willingness to learn and rethink your views" is infinitely more valuable than "perfect from the start and unwilling to listen to anyone")

Also found in the source: This image of Kamala Harris participating in the 2019 San Francisco Pride Parade, wearing what I believe to be a sequin rainbow embroidered denim jacket.

I encourage you to read the provided CNN article and the answers to the ACLU questionnaire, as they give great insight into her values.

TLDR: Based.

[lemonofthevalley]

yesss one of my favorite book analysis youtubers recommends this is how you lose the time war

[metal-socks]

i hate the future that i'm in

[yusuke-ish]

wanna post this on bsky but i risk being found out saying this so ill post this here btw this shits (ha) kinda gross

dude. my boss smells like shit. like pure shit idk if he doesn't wipe his ass or something but my fucking god i stood next to him for 10 seconds and almost died how is he still married

i remember his daughter telling me that when she was a kid he had a Shit Stained Sponge on his shower because he didn't wipe before showering and used the sponge instead and it stained of shit because he didn't wash the fucking thing and also didn't wipe before using it so he probably smeared shit all over his body because of the fucking shit stained sponge im losing my fucking mind he must still have it. also he doesn't wash his hands after going to the bathroom i know because i can hear when the sink is open

and if that wasn't enough his breath also smells like shit i can't stand speaking with him thank god i interact with him like 5 times a month tops because jesus fucking christ man. why are cishet straight men so fucking gross

[cheddarcheddarcheezits]

since i've seem other people doing it... screw it, note thing

TW SUI IDEATION

5 notes - i'll finish my math homework

10 notes - i'll clean my room

20 notes - i'll try to go on a 10-20 minute walk everyday

30 notes - i'll try to brush and teeth and floss everyday

40 notes - i'll try to ask for help if i need it with school and stuff

50 notes - i'll try to get 8 hours (or more) of sleep every school night

75 notes - i'll try to get 8 hours (or more) of sleep EVERY night

100 notes - i'll go a full 24 hours screen-free (will do on 1/25)

150 notes - i'll try to get out of the ✨situationship✨ i'm trapped in

200 notes - i'll post my art here more

250 notes - i'll try to post my writing here more

300 notes - i'll come out as trans to my two closest friends

400 notes - i'll do a voice reveal :)

500 notes - i'll try to survive the rest of middle school

750 notes - i'll try to convince my parents to let me learn how to animate

1000 notes - i'll tell my therapist how i kinda want to kms

2000 notes - i'll come out as trans to my little sister

5000 notes - i'll come out as trans to my parents

Green - complete (short term stuff)

Blue - in progress (short term stuff)

Orange - in progress (long term stuff)

Red - complete (long term stuff) (qualified for this if it either has a set date or @ end of school year, whichever comes second)

RULES - 10 notes per person, yes you can tag people

edit - I WILL DO THESE IN THE MORNING OK I'M TIRED AND GOT JUMPSCARED BY THIS BLOWING UP

edit 2 - y'all are terrifying. how. also time to start the stuff! (yay?) (also i just realized how many long term goals i put on here huh)

edit 3 - um. what the fuck? also i really hope my sister isn't transphobic ;-;

[dollishmehrayan]

# “THE WOMAN WAS TOO STUNNED TO SPEAK…” ── .✦ ( batboys w an unhinged!reader and blunt!reader )

a/n: this is from my little brain of mine , and I like to honor it for @kyriakis anywhoo I’m back and omg 1k?! Alsoo guys dw! I’m gonna do the event tomorrow && I’m gonna pick out some prompts I have organized, so i didn't forget okay but i just got a lot of DMs asking when I’m gonna do it for you guyss so yeah it’s gonna be tomorrow since I’m gonna re-edit + add some ideas of your guys votes!! Tags: (batboys x unhinged!reader)

© dollishmehrayan — ( all rights reserved to me. These works cannot be reposted, translated, or modified. Thank you for understanding dollies! )

DICK GRAYSON ── .✦

He’s always caught off guard but loves it. Your bluntness is a breath of fresh air for Dick, who’s so used to diplomatic conversations. You say whatever’s on your mind with zero filter, and he’s like, “Oh, wow. Okay. I respect it.”

Hates it when you don’t hold back with him. He’s used to being the charming, funny guy who makes everyone laugh, but you hit him with a “That was dumb, don’t do that again” and his brain short circuits for a second. “You can’t just say that!” “Why not?”

Finds it hilarious when you wreck other people’s egos. You have zero time for anyone’s nonsense, and when someone messes up, you let them know. Dick’s in the background, trying not to laugh. “Do you not think before you speak?!…” He’s always acts so shocked but hey, he’s kinda enjoying it unless it’s aimed at him. (He can’t fight verbally for the life of him without saying some cringe shit)

Doesn’t even try to change you. Dick knows what he’s getting into, and he loves you for it. He’s never going to ask you to ‘tone it down.’ He actually finds your unapologetic attitude pretty hot.

He’s 50% worried you’ll get into trouble, 50% impressed. But in the end, he’ll always back you up, saying, “She’s just honest. Get used to it.”

JASON TODD ── .✦

Finally, someone who speaks his language. Jason lives for the fact that you don’t care what people think. He loves how blunt you are, especially when you cut through the BS with the precision of a sharp knife.

Gets protective when people try to push your boundaries. If someone dares disrespect you, Jason’s the first one to step in. “You’ve got a problem with her? You’ve got a problem with me.”, “Jason that was so fucking cringey..”

Appreciates that you don't sugarcoat things for him. You’ll tell him exactly how it is, whether it’s about his attitude or a bad decision he made, and he respects it, it’s like the tt sound where “that’s when it hit me, it was the best idea I ever had..” but like this: “Not gonna lie, that was a terrible plan, Jay,” and he’ll just nod. “Fair.”

You guys have the most chaotic, weirdest conversations. It’s a mix of witty banter, ridiculous one-liners, and deadpan sarcasm. Other people can’t even keep up with the energy.

The idea of dating a ‘good girl’ never appealed to him anyway. He thrives off your unhinged energy. You’re unpredictable, and it keeps him on his toes, which he loves. “Yeah, you’re definitely not boring.” (Although the thing is he does love innocent people, like if you’re like gen clueless he wants preserve your innocence.)

TIM DRAKE ── .✦

Tim’s brain can’t keep up with you. Your blunt, no-nonsense attitude constantly makes him blink in confusion. One minute you’re casually roasting someone, and the next, you’re giving a straight-up critique of his latest plan. He’s learning that he can’t outthink you.

He admires your unapologetic honesty. Tim has a lot of internalized doubts, so watching you casually reject anyone’s judgment is a nice contrast. You don’t apologize for your thoughts, and it’s something he secretly admires.

Constantly second-guesses himself around you. Your sharp tongue makes him want to be as confident as you. He gets nervous about saying anything that might sound soft, so when he stumbles, you’re like, “What was that? I swear you just whispered something.” And he’ll blush hard, muttering an apology.

You both have a sarcastic sense of humor that others don’t quite get. You say something outrageous, and Tim will respond with the driest remark possible. People in the room often wonder if you two are joking or just genuinely a bit rude.

Not scared to call him out. When Tim’s too nice, you’ll be like, “You need to stop letting people walk all over you. Grow some teeth.” Tim won’t admit it, but that does motivate him to be a little bolder.

DAMIAN WAYNE ── .✦

Damian is a bit taken aback at first. He’s used to people being respectful or like seeing him as kinda a role model, so when you come out with a “That’s dumb, don’t even talk to me right now,” he’s not sure how to handle it. He will stand there, blinking, while processing your bluntness. (He’s too stunned to speak 😞)

Genuinely respects your forthrightness, though. “I���ll admit, I have never met someone so… honest.” He starts respecting you even more, thinking you’re someone he can’t manipulate or charm easily.

Loves that you’re as stubborn as he is. If you’re determined about something, there’s no changing your mind. You’ll fight for your opinions even if it gets you into a heated debate. And Damian’s right there with you, arguing like it’s the most fun thing in the world.

Tries to match your bluntness. “You talk too much,” he says one day, and you immediately reply, “And yet, here you are, listening to every word I say.” Damian actually pauses for a second, impressed. “Right..”

Loves how you’ll shut down his critics with zero hesitation. Someone says something disrespectful to him, and you’ll be the first to shoot back, “He doesn’t need your advice, trust me.” He’ll give you a proud little smirk. “I like the way you handle things.”

BRUCE WAYNE ── .✦

At first, Bruce is a bit disconcerted by your bluntness. Bruce’s the kind of guy who expects people to be formal and classy, and you just come in with “This entire meeting is a waste of my time. I don’t care about any of this.” He blinks, then quietly admires your bravery.

Totally respects your unfiltered honesty. Bruce has had enough of the world’s games, so when you don’t bother to pretend or hold anything back, it’s like a breath of fresh air for him.

Secretly loves when you don’t play nice." He knows you're not afraid of saying what you think, and when you call him out on his brooding or overly protective behavior, he listens. “You’re right. I’m sorry for not trusting you more.” (He totally doesn’t have a tracker on your hair clip..🥰)

You both have moments of pure savage honesty that no one else gets. There’s no need for filters, and you’ll both exchange one-liners so dry that it leaves everyone else in the room confused.

Finds it endearing when you make his plans more interesting. “This is ridiculous. Why are we doing this again?” You snap at him in a room full of his board members, and he just gives you a look that says, “I’m never apologizing for you.”

[hoshigray]

𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐌𝐞 [𝐍𝐎𝐓]!! | a JJK series

𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: “GO FUCK YOURSELF, SATORU GOJO!” “BETTER THAN FUCKING YOU!” It’s no secret to anyone on this Earth that you and Gojo cannot stand each other. Despite that, the world seems amused to put these two star-crossed lovers haters in the same space. Or worse, have them dwell deeper into their feelings for one another…

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: Gojo x fem/afab! reader - explicit content; minors DNI - modern + college AU - frenemies to lovers + mutual pining - fluff + angst + misunderstandings - first kiss - virginity loss - Gojo and reader are at least age 20 - secret relationships; implied friends-with-benefits - sex in shared rooms; college dorms + hotel suite - college parties - use of party games (seven minutes in heaven) - confessions - mention of drug/alcohol abuse - humor bc Gojo and college, lol - Gojo is a cocky, tactless sweetheart, nothing new - cameos of other characters + explicit content will be listed in their respective fics (within the contents).

𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞: when I say that I had this series planned out, I mean like mid-October last year planned out, lmaoo!! I'm honestly so psyched to do this series, as it's one of my favorite tropes + relatively short as I'll be busy irl, but we'll do what we can!! i was lowkey feeling this concept when i was re-watching Ranma 1/2 and figured it would work great with Gojo. So, here's to hoping i can properly execute my thoughts with this series, hehehe~

reblogs + comments are appreciated wholeheartedly ❤︎ gif header made by me + fic dividers used are provided by the wonderful @cafekitsune and @animatedglittergraphics-n-more!!

𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝑰𝒔 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑨𝒊𝒓...

All the material below contains explicit 18+ content, so minors do not interact.

₊˚⊹♡ 𝐒𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐇𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧 (Feb 1st)

The start of the spring semester is supposed to be fresh and new, not be cramped up in a closet with your frenemy at a party! And what's worse: you actually like the feeling of his lips on yours!?

₊˚⊹♡ 𝐇𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞, 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐇𝐨𝐥𝐝 (Feb 7th)

Is it possible to wish to be in the embrace of someone who makes you want to throw them off a cliff? You seem to think so, and the same goes for Gojo. But alas, good things always come to an end, even when not meant to be...

₊˚⊹♡ 𝐒𝐮𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐥𝐲, 𝐈 𝐇𝐚𝐝 𝐚 𝐕𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐞 (Feb 14th)

Going on a date with the guy who broke your heart is something you’d never thought would happen – especially on Valentine’s Day! But it’s just for him to be in your good graces again, nothing more…Yeah, go ahead and tell yourself that.

𝑨 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝑳𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒀𝒐𝒖!

Would you like to be tagged when these pieces get released? Lmk in the replies, please, and thank you!

𝑻𝑨𝑮 𝑳𝑰𝑺𝑻 𝑪𝑳𝑶𝑺𝑬𝑫!!! Have made a list of the first 50 ppl who asked, but don't worry!! Check back for the stories when they're posted on their respective dates!!

© 𝐇𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐲2024 ❤︎ These stories have been written by the original poster (me). Do not steal, edit, copy/plagiarize, or post any of my works on your own accounts, in or out of this app. Please and thank you.

[mead-iocre]

Marshmallow Keychains | Alexia Putellas x Reader

synopsis: want that cute (overly expensive) jellycat? Lucky for you you've got a very generous girlfriend.

warnings: none . But it is my first time writing for Alexia so consider that your warning lol

wc: 1k words

“Oh my god–  baby look at this one!” You hold up a small pink bashful bunny, showing it to you the girl beside you. You and Alexia were in London as your footballer girlfriend has a few days off of training. 

“Si. That’s nice, mi amor” She said in the most monotonous tone ever, but you didn’t mind her less than enthusiastic response, you were far too enamoured with the soft stuffed bunny in your arms. 

You put the bunny down and move on to the next adorable thing that catches your eye. “And they’ve got marshmallow keychains! These are so cute!” You've been roaming the store for a few minutes now, caressing and cuddling all the soft stuffies, much to the entertainment of your girlfriend. However, these marshmallows are different. The two marshmallows, one white and one pink, were holding hands and smiling sweetly at you. “I need them, Ale” 

Alexia just stares, seemingly unmoved by the cuteness of the little marshmallows with little faces. She raises a perfect eyebrow at you, unconvinced. “Do you, amour?”

“Okay maybe I don’t need it– but I do want it…” You look down at the cute keychains in your hands. Turning the price tag around, you visibly wince. If you were to buy two, that would be nearly £50 British pounds for two small keychains. You move to put the marshmallows back on the shelf, hoping they’ll still be in stock when you can willingly afford to splurge on them, but your girlfriend grabs them from you. 

“I’ll buy it for you” Alexia says sweetly with a kiss on your cheek. The bright smile you gift her has Alexia feeling like she’s on top of the world. Over the years that you've been dating, you've gotten used to Alexia literally throwing her card at you whenever she could. She knows that you can afford to buy things on your own, you've got a job that you loved and it pays well, but gift-giving has always been her love language. She liked taking care of you and you gladly indulged her. While you did not care much for designer clothes and luxury bags, you loved the little things– like the silly little marshmallows keychain that Alexia currently has clutched in her hand. 

You look around the rest of the store where there are shelves and shelves of stuffed animals. Rows of Jellycats lined the shelves, each one seemingly more adorable than the last.You gasp suddenly, grabbing onto your girlfriend’s tan arm nearly startling her. “LOOK OVER THERE–“

Leaving her behind, you literally sprint over to the shelf not the other side of the shop and pick up the object that caught your eye “A sandcastle with a little face– oh muy amable” You coo at the yellow stuffed toy in your hand. You snuggle the sandcastle in your arms, rubbing your cheek against the soft material. 

“muy suave, amor” Alexia corrects gently once she has made her way over to you. Unable to resist how cute you look, she lays a sweet kiss on your cheek. You’ve been learning Spanish, attending language classes and regularly being flown out to Barcelona by your very generous girlfriend. She insists that regularly exposing you to the culture and the environment will allow you to pick up the language quicker. It’s also part of the Spaniard’s plan to get you to move in with her as soon as possible– but she would never admit that to you willingly. 

The shopkeeper restocking a shelf nearby noticed your excitement. "Ah, you’ve found our special edition," she said with a warm smile. "We only received a few of those. It’s part of a summer series they released.”

You gasp and turn to Alexia with that look on your face. The look that can get you whatever you want– one that your girlfriend was very familiar with. Before you can say anything, Alexia is already rolling her eyes and reaching into her back pocket for her wallet. 

Smiling the biggest smile in the world, you reach a hand towards her gold amex card that she dangles in the air before she pulls back just before you can grab it. You pout at her. 

“Do not pout, mi amour.” Tugging playfully on your ponytail, she lays a quick smooch on the side of your neck knowing exactly how ticklish you are. You try to swat her away, but not before she somehow manages to steal one more kiss from you. “I just wanted to be sure– that’s all you’re buying, si?” 

With that, you turn to the kind shopkeeper from earlier with the biggest smile on your face. “Do you have any more limited editions Jellycats? My girlfriend is feeling very generous today” 

You both leave the shop with one big bag filled with seven new jellycats to start your collection, but with barely a dent on Alexia’s card. On your crossbody bag dangles the marshmallows keychain, and another pair is nestled inside the shopping bag that your girlfriend insists on carrying for you. 

A week later Alexia walks into the locker room, her boots in one hand, and her training bag thrown over her shoulder. She walks to her locker, putting her bag down on the bench. The locker room is loud with chatter, the girls catching each other up on what they got up to during the break.

Mapi is walking over to her locker right beside Alexia when something new catches her eye “¿Qué es eso?”

Alexia stops what she was doing and looks to where her teammate is pointing. “…Jellycat.”

At first Alexia had protested, or at least she tried to. You loved the marshmallow jellycat keychain so much, and made sure to hang it on every bag that you wore out– even when you would borrow one of your girlfriend’s very expensive, fancy bags. You could be using one of Alexia’s Louis Vuitton bags and the marshmallow keychain would be hanging on the side.

Alexia, on the other hand, was less than enthusiastic to use her keychain. During checkout, she had thrown in a keychain for herself last minute, thinking she could get away with you just knowing she has one just like yours. However, you insisted that she had to use it. You explained that the marshmallows would be sad if they were left behind just collecting dust on her bedside table. In response, she rolled her eyes and grumbled something about you being “a pain in the ass”— at least according to the little bits of Spanish that you could understand. 

The following morning, your girlfriend left you in bed– you with your messy hair, flushed cheeks, swollen red lips, and her with her hair neatly in a ponytail, and her training gear on. You watched with a smile on your face as Alexia left the house with a very familiar keychain dangling against the side of her Barcelona training bag. 

need me a rich athlete wife who can spoil me with jellycats too

also im really loving these shorter blurbs because it allows me to just write whenever im inspired without worrying about a low word count.

the euros final is tonight, if you care lol. may the least shittiest team win x

-- kisses, butter.

*This work is my original creation. Please don’t copy, share, or translate it without asking for my permission first. Thanks for respecting that!

[skaruresonic]

The common rebuttal to "this reads like fanfic (derogatory)" is "read better fanfic," which is true in certain cases, but on the other hand, there is some grain of truth to the idea that you can tell when someone's primary mode of literary analysis is fanfic instead of... well... literally anything else. It's okay to like or even prefer fanfic, but if you want to take your craft seriously you also need to read books, dude. Published books will teach you a lot of stuff fanfic doesn't, like proper dialogue formatting and how to introduce your reader to unfamiliar characters. Even the crappiest book (well, if it's not After or 50 Shades, which started off as fanfic to begin with lol) will have been subjected to some sort of editing process to ensure at least the appearance of proper grammar. That's not a guarantee with your average fanfic, and hence why you can't always take all your writing cues from fanfic because it's "so much better" than commercially published original fiction or whatever. Frankly, fic writers tend to peddle some absolutist and downright bad takes sometimes. "Said is dead" is a terrible rule, though not because said is invisible and a perfectly serviceable tag; that's just part of it. Dialogue tags are a garnish, not a main dish that can be swapped out for more ostentatious words. If your characters murmur and mutter instead of simply saying stuff, your readers are going to wonder why nobody speaks up. "'I'm explaining some very plot-important shit right now lol,' she elaborated," likewise, is a form of telling. Instead of letting the reader extrapolate that "she elaborated" via the contents of the dialogue itself, you're telling them what to think about it. And that's why it's distracting: your authorial hand is showing. Writing is an act of camouflage. You, as the writer, need to make your presence as invisible as possible so as to not intrude on the reader's suspension of disbelief. That's the driving reason behind "show, don't tell." And overall, everyone could stand to cut down on the frequency of their dialogue tags anyway. Not every exchange needs "he said" or "she whispered" attached as long as you establish who is doing the talking before the exchange. Some people will complain of confusion if you go on for too long without a dialogue tag, and that definitely is a risk, but at some point you also need to resist the temptation of holding the reader's hand. If they can't follow a conversation between two people, chances are they weren't meeting you halfway and paying that much attention in the first place. In fact, you don't even necessarily need action beats in between every piece of dialogue, as Tumblr writing advice posts will often suggest as a fix. Pruning things often cleans them up just fine.

Another fanfic-influenced trend in writing is, I guess, beige prose? A heavy focus on internal narration with lots of telling. It's not a style I can concretely describe, but every time I click on a non-mutual's writing, I feel like it always has, like. This "samey" voice to it. There's no real attempt to experiment and use unique or provocative language, or even imagery half the time. It's almost a dry recital of narration that doesn't leave much room for subtext. I see this style most often in fanfic where you can meander and wax poetic about how the characters feel without ever really getting around to the plot. And it's like. DO something.

Other tells that the author is taking their cues from fanfic mores rather than books: >>too much minute description of eyes, especially their color and their movement >>doesn't leave much room for subtext (has a character speak their every thought aloud instead of letting the reader infer what they're thinking via action or implication) >>too much stage action ("X looked at Y. Y moved to push their seat in. X took a deep breath and stepped toward Y with a determined look on his face. 'We need to talk,' he said.") >>tells instead of shows, even when the example is about showing instead of telling ("he clenched his teeth in agony" instead of just "he clenched his teeth") >>has improper dialogue tag formatting, especially with putting full stops where there should be commas ("'Lol and lmao.' she said" instead of "'Lol and lmao,' she said." This one drives me up a wall) >>uses too many dialogue tags >>"em dashes, semi-colons and commas, my beloved" - I get the appeal but full stops are your friends. Too much alternate punctuation makes your writing seem stilted and choppy. >>"he's all tousled brown hair and hard muscle" and "she's all smiles and long legs." This turn of phrase is so cliche, it drives me up a wall. Find less trite ways of describing your characters pls. >>"X released a breath he didn't know he'd been holding" >>every fucking Hot Guy ever is described as lean and sinewy >>sobbing. why is everyone sobbing. some restraint, pls >>Tumblr in general tends to think a truism counts as good writing if you make the most melodramatic statement possible (bonus: if it's written in a faux-archaic way), garnish it with a hint of egotism, and toss in allusions to the Christian God, afterlife, or death. ("I will stare God in the face and walk backwards into hell," "What is a god to a nonbeliever?") It's indicative of emotional immaturity imo, that every emotional truth need be expressed That Intensely in order to resonate with people. >>pushes the "Oh." moment as the pinnacle of Romantic Epiphany >>Therapy Speak dialogue. why is this emotionally constipated forty-something man who drinks himself stupid every morning to escape gruesome war memories speaking about his trauma like a clinical psychologist >>"this well-established kuudere should Show More Emoshun. I want him to break down crying on his love interest's shoulder from all his repressed trauma" - I am begging u. stop >>"why don't the characters just talk to each other?" "why can't we have healthy relationships?" I don't know, maybe because fiction is not supposed to be a model for reality and perfect communication makes for boring drama?

>>improperly using actions as dialogue tags ("'Looks like we're going hunting,' he grinned") >>why is everyone muttering and murmuring. speak up >>too many adverbs, especially "weakly" and "shakily." use stronger verbs. ("trembled" instead of "shook weakly") >>too many epithets ("the younger man" or "the brunette detective") >>too many filter words ("he felt," "she thought," "I remembered")

>>no, Tumblr, first-person POV is not the devil; you're just using way too many filter words (see above) and not enough sentence variation to make it flow well enough. First-person POV is an actually pretty good POV (not just for unreliable and self-aware narrators) if you know what you're doing and a lot of fun crafting an engaging character voice. Tumblr's hatred of first-person baffles me, and all I can think is you would only hate it if your only frame of reference was, like, My Immortal. Have you tried reading A Book? First-person POV is just another tool in your toolbox, and like all tools, it can be used properly or improperly. But it's not inherently a marker of bad writing. The disdain surrounding it strikes me as about as sensical as making fun of the concept of characters. Oh, your work has characters in it? Ew, I automatically click off a fic if it has characters in it. like what.