#(curiously they never compared the boys to inanimate objects)

[gryphonablaze]

some of these units are about useful, practical things. a lot of these units are about common sense things. I already know to wear my seatbelt and I know that drinking and driving is illegal. you don’t need to tell me this. you don’t need an entire unit on this. I know this. what I don’t know is how much space I need to have when I’m trying to merge onto a freeway and shit. I don’t know when to slam vs pump the brakes. I don’t need to know the fuckin stats. I don’t need to know how many people die doing the thing that I already don’t do. please shut the fuck up about the stats and tell me how to pilot this fucking metal deathtrap

[spideychelleforever]

Spideychelle Headcanon: In Which MJ Gets A New Toy

So Peter was chilling out with Thor when Loki just strolled in and was wanting to have some fun

Peter said okay, unaware that Loki really really really loved mischief maybe even more so now than ever

And that's how Loki turned Peter into a small Spider-Man plushie and dumped him off in some random bedroom

While Thor searches for Peter, poor Peter is helpless and trapped as the small plushie

Sounds horrifying right? Well

Just you wait

Plushie Peter wasn't dropped off in some random bedroom

This is MJ's bedroom

And MJ herself just walked in, and is now looking at the plushie curiously

MJ picks it up and looks at it curiously, and sees a sticky note with the note "for you, love"

MJ rolls her eyes and tosses the plushie back on her bed, thinking her mom gave it to her. She'd been caught rewinding news footage of Spider-Man when the camera got a shot of his butt and MJ still hadn't lived it down

Peter didn't feel any pain being a weird magical plushie but he's still silently like "THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING"

MJ pulls out her laptop and tries to work, but she can't focus and sighs after a few minutes, and flops down in her bed with the plushie right by her head

She turns to the plushie and Peter never thought he'd see MJ so up close and personal let alone this massive compared to him

Then she smiles at him lazily

"Even as a plushie, you make me wanna scream, dork."

Peter can't even process this before MJ scoops him up and holds him gently and man this feels nice

Then she's squeezing him into her and Peter wants to self destruct bc he's right over her heart and even her regularly paced heartbeat sounds like the drums of war to his smol self

"My little Peter," MJ sighs. Then she kisses the plushie where it's mouth would be under its mask and Peter internally can't compute

She takes the plushie to her desk and soon has whipped up a chibi style doodle of Spider-Man kissing her

Then she sings "I am so into you, I am so into yooooou" in the most sugary voice

Peter is in disbelief

MJ is doodling about him kissing her

And singing lovesick "Helpless" about him

But

But she's always so lovingly mean to him

Maybe

Maybe it's more lovingly than he realized

"God I wish that was me", MJ quietly said to herself, looking over the doodle.

She picks him up again "I guess for now you'll have to do, little inanimate object"

Peter is just

He can't deal with all this

His crush desperately likes him back

And he's stuck as a toy??

Ugh

MJ now seems to be pondering something

She's looking at him and also looking over her shoulder

Hmm

After a few minutes of silent deliberation, she says to the plushie "for their sake, I hope nobody asks what I did with you."

She gets up and takes Peter over to her bed

"Or rather... what I did to you"

Peter is screaming bc this can't be happening holy SHIT

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

and then time freezes

Peter is still able to think, though MJ is frozen with an expression that would make him weak in the knees if they weren't made of plush

A fiery rift appears in her bedroom and Stephen Strange walks through with Thor in tow

They scoop up Peter, and Strange does some magic that restores him to normal

"Thank goodness you're alright, small Peter!" Thor smiles

"From the look of things, this could've gotten ugly," Strange nods. "You okay, son?"

And Peter just loses it and is yelling about the torment he just endured and also the joy of knowing MJ likes him back

And Strange freezes him too

And does some more magic to make sure he forgets the whole experience bc this smol boy needs to be able to live after this

But taking pity on him, Strange leaves in Peter's mind the realization that the girl likes him back

Just edits the memories a bit that's all

And using the Eye, everything is back to normal and only Thor, Loki, and Strange remember it

And soon Peter is racing home to text Ned that MJ likes him

And MJ is at home working on doodles of her and Peter

When she goes to sleep, she thinks about her day and wonders. She's forgetting something for sure...

But who knows what it was.

Maybe tomorrow, she thinks as her brain starts to shut down, Peter will notice her?

Eh, probably not, but who knows

The next day, Peter explicitly flirts with her and then it's her turn to flip out once she gets home