#(casual internet cruelty specifically)

[monstermoviedean]

i mean just think about talking to an ancestor who lived a thousand years ago and saying i have a magic tool that lets me talk to people halfway around the world even if we don't speak the same language. and i use this incredible tool to be rude to strangers.

[pacific-rimbaud]

Thank you SO MUCH for your panville works. I find it therapeutic to read the caring and deeply loving dynamic you embed in them. Also love how you deal with Pansy's background and trauma. While she is by no means unprivileged, I think her wounds resonate deeply with anyone for whom parental love was unstable in childhood. Your writing inspires me so much. I hope you know the positive impact you have on fellow internet strangers. Fr I've reread a dress with pockets more times I care to admit and RoT is on its 3rd re read because it helps me deal with shitty days.

I have two questions regarding your own visualization of the characters in RoT that may fall out of the scope of the actual story (I imagine you might not delve into these too much even if you do have an idea of them in your head)

1. Do you imagine Pansy's mother's own trauma too, when you write? Like what are the wounds that made her such a cold/unloving parent to Pansy?

Ive been thinking of it as being classic objectification of pureblood women for future marriage. Like Pansy's mother never wanted to have a child but was forced to because she's a woman and that's her duty. Would you agree with this or is she a much more sinister character?

2. In what concrete ways would you say Pansy's strengths complemented Neville's weaknesses when they began dating? We see their relationship in a super specific context where they are in their late 20s but Pansy's growth got somewhat reverted to her teenage/younger years (so it makes complete sense we see her mostly being taken care of by Neville!!). But I ask because Harry's witty response to Pansy regarding Neville "deserving what he wants" made me feel a bit sad.

Like I get that Neville's a lot more emotionally sound than she is, but I guess it made me think about whether Pansy's life is "earned" beyond her trying to be better just for Neville's sake.

I imagine her fierce protectiveness of those she loves and her ability to set boundaries without taking people's shit must have been very attractive to a younger Neville?

Sorry if this question is too obvious. I think it hits close. I relate with Pansy's trauma and waking up one day as Neville's wife would indeed feel like heaven (thank you again Harry!). But I could not imagine being able to correspond to a love like that in ways that society traditionally categorizes as love.

Much love. Thank you again for sharing your beautiful brain with us xx

Thank you so much for reading! Truly so appreciative that anyone takes the time to follow a novel-length rare pair fic.

Answers under the cut!

Pansy's mother did not want kids. Full stop. Her father was indifferent to the idea, but definitely didn't want to marry Pansy's mother. My headcanon is that Pansy's mother had an ill-advised fling with Pansy's entitled rake of a father as a young woman, became pregnant, and was compelled to enter into a miserable, lonely marriage and raise a child she had absolutely no affection for. Pansy's father was interested when he chose to be, which wasn't often. Nonexistent or unreliable attachment all around. And so it's clear, this characterization isn't an excuse or attempted explanation for Pansy's cruelty as a child. I've known many casually cruel children over the years. It's not at all unusual. Heartbreaking and yet garden variety example: a few socioeconomically privileged kids in my son's class recently approached another group of children, some of whom have serious challenges at home, and told them that their mothers didn't love them as much as their mothers. Kids can be mind-bogglingly vicious people, even with the "right" parenting. They're kids! Their brains aren't fully cooked yet. Moving the empathy needle and fostering healthy culture in a school requires skillful adult intervention, which obviously was not happening at Hogwarts. Pansy's upbringing in this story is an explanation for why she struggles to be vulnerable, why she's so deeply haunted by a history of feeling unlovable, and why the prospect of motherhood in general and an unplanned pregnancy in particular carries a special horror for her. Basically what makes your second question a little tricky to answer....

...because she's such an unreliable witness to her own life in this. I love fanon Pansy more than anything. She's abrasive, sometimes filterless, terrifyingly perceptive, doesn't suffer fools. Which I just love so much. She's someone who cannot be other than herself, and that self is often pretty spiky. But if someone can get inside, she's also unrestrained in her tenderness. Once Pansy is on your side, you're ride or die. She'd do anything for you. Definitely would help you bury a body. And what I deeply love about Panville is that Neville gets to go further: he gets the innermost parts of her, which truly are so, so sweet and open and loving. She's an incredible partner. Neville has it made and knows it. And to try to answer your question, I don't tend to think about what they bring to the table, or whether anyone "deserves" anything, which is the error Pansy keeps making. I see them very much in the vein of, "I was in the middle before I knew I that I had begun." They're the catching feelings pair, whether it's friends to lovers or casual hook up to something more, because absolutely no way does she ever go into anything at all intending to be vulnerable. But he has the intuition of someone used to paying attention from the sidelines. He's curious. There's something there. He doesn't know what it is, but he'd like to. With enough patience, she unfurls. It's about the power of attentiveness and the inexplicable magic of deep connection. The payoff for Neville risking getting close enough to Pansy to peek inside is a spiky little wife who can't get enough of him in bed, has a full life of her own with passions and interests and relationships and is also deeply invested in their domestic happiness. She is profoundly, unswervingly in his corner. She sees and knows him. The payoff for Pansy risking her heart is this beautiful, kind, loyal man who adores her and whose sensibilities and preferences perfectly align with her own practical nature. He also happens to make great scones. Neither of them grew up understanding what they have was even possible, and I hope it's clear in the story that they both deserve every minute of it. 💜

[bocceclub]

this whole thing really exemplifies the fact that the majority of this site's userbase are terminally logged on, intellectually complacent fandombrained nerds who still have an inferiority complex over their interests (despite the fact that their specific brand of IP-consumption nerdiness has become the de facto mode of cultural engagement in the last 3 decades) and so they salivate at the thought of getting a chance to rip into other people and feel cool & superior and win internet points with other spiteful little losers. you all are so disconnected from any concept of human social interaction that you've forgotten that the little icons on your dashboard have real people behind them and so you feel free to act out your schoolyard bully fantasies from the safety of your keyboard, with zero disregard for the human cost of your casual cruelty. anyway I'll shut up and go back to posting abstract art now ✌

[nat-20s]

Part 5 of Wonderful! Au. *boyband voice* banter’s back alright!

Also on AO3

~*~

Jon: Hello everyone, and welcome back to our regular format. If my husband being horribly soppy-

Martin:-hey!-

Jon: -turned you off the how, this should be a refreshing return to formula, though I can’t guarantee there won’t be further horrible soppiness-

Martin, performatively under his breath: -most people thought it was charming-

Jon: -as that tends to happen when one is recording with the love of their life. If last week’s episode is the only one that you like, too bad, I’m back in full form, and should be at least through the rest of the season.

Martin: This show doesn’t have seasons? Due to the whole lack of a narrative thing?

Jon: I was referring to spring.

Martin: Oh, right.

[A beat passes.]

Martin, flatly: Oh. Great goof hon.

Jon, smug: Thank you.

Jon, sincere: Also, before we get properly started, I did want to actually thank everyone who sent well wishes.

M artin: Yes! We got positively inundated with lovely messages, it definitely brightened both of our days. I would even say it was wonderful.

[Jon groans.]

Jon: I am..not proud of the energy we’ve created for this episode so far, and we haven’t even hit the small wonders. Speaking of, do you have a small wonder this week?

Martin: Mine’s bad action movies.

Jon: Really? I had no idea you even liked them, let alone consider them wonderful.

Martin: Okay, so, saying I like them is a bit of a misnomer? It’s more that I like what they can do more than the movies themselves?

Jon: Elaborate?

Martin: It probably comes as a surprise to no one that I’ve tried my hand at a fair amount of mindfulness and mediation techniques. I’ve found poetry and journaling have been helpful for actually processing life events and whatnot, but when it comes to giving your brain a hard wipe and reset, nothing is half as quick and effective as a shitty shoot-em-up. Somethings about 2 hours of cartoonish, pg-13 violence held together with the absolute loosest of plots brings me to a state of mental blankness that would make a monk jealous.

Jon: How have I never witnessed you doing this? When are you sneaking off to go see Micheal Tarantino or who ever films?

M artin: That’s definitely not the right name.

Jon: Martin, dear, I don’t care. And you’re dodging the question.

Martin, fond: I’m not dodging anything. Since apparently we’re getting into it, you haven’t caught me cavorting with a movie involving more explosions than character development lately because I haven’t been. Haven’t needed it, in recent years. Turns out when you’re not crushingly lonely and working a literal nightmare of job, there’s less of a drive to try and escape your own thoughts. Shocker, I know. Still, to anyone out there that feels like their brain is on fire, go try watching a fast and furious. Any of ‘em, it doesn’t matter. Or even better, Chronicles of Riddick. I can’t remember a single goddamn detail of that movie, which makes it perfect for what I’m talking about.

Jon: I have the strong feeling that th is is a “mileage may vary” scenario.

Martin: Well, yeah, that’s this whole podcast. Plus, I imagine that movies like this would cause more stress to someone who cares about, say, world-building or rules consistency.

Jon: I wonder who you could possibly be referring to.

Martin: It’s a purely hypothetical person, love, don’t worry about it. Any small wonders?

Jon: Yes! Particularly relevant to the last week, my small wonder is stripping the sheets from your bed when it’s been too long between washes.

Martin: How very specific. M ost people would just say ‘clean sheets’.

Jon: Well, for one, I’m fairly certain that we’ve already covered clean sheets-

Martin: Shit, have we? Thank god other people keep track of this, otherwise this show would be unbearably repetitive.

Jon: Christ, yes. I typically check the website a good three times while prepping, and every about one out of those three times I find I’m trying to do an topic we did 30 episodes again. Anyway, um, it’s just nice, I think. When you’ve been too busy or sick or away for awhile, tossing the sheets in the wash makes a room instantly seem nicer. Of all the chores out there, this one, at least for me, has the highest reward to effort ratio.

Martin: Hard agree. Especially when the y have that slight funk of having been around to long, getting rid of that is such a relief. Speaking of, we need to change our sheets soon.

Jon: We can do it after the episode. Who goes first this week?

Martin: Considering last week was only me talking, I’m gonna say it’s you.

Jon: Alright, then. My first thing this week is Martin K. Blackwood.

Martin: Absolutely not!

Jon: Oh, you can do a whole episode on me, but I can’t do one little segment on my husband, whom I love very dearly?

Martin: Not while I’m sat here, no!

Jon: So you’re saying you don’t want me to tell the internet that your resolve to be kind even in the face of indescribable cruelty is one of the mot breathtaking things I’ve ever witnessed, or how I find it incredibly endearing when you get so emotional that your voice comes out as a squeak, or even that, on a more base level, you’re very physically attractive, and I could lose entire days thinking about your arms alone?

Martin, audibly blushing, voice the aforementioned squeak: Oh my god, Jon!

Jon, laughing: Then it’s probably for the best that my actual first thing is best friends.

Martin, peaking the audio levels: Oh you absolute bastard! Do you enjoy this? Do you get some sort of perverse sense of entertainment from riling me up?

Jon: Oh, don’t you start. As if you’re not as bad as I am. Maybe even worse.

Martin: That’s not…

Jon: Yes?

Martin: Okay. Maybe it’s slightly true. Really, what is romance for if not flustering your partner with compliments?

Jon, teasing: I certainly can’t think of anything.

Martin: Hush, you.

Jon: No, I don’t think I will.

Martin: Fine. I suppose you can tell our delightful audience about the power of friendship or whatever.

Jon: I would’ve assumed more enthusiasm, considering this segment is still, indirectly, about you.

Martin: In what way?

Jon: In the way that, to the shock of all, you’re my best friend.

Martin, pleased: Oh, is that what I am?

Jon, exasperated: Yes, dearest husband, I wouldn’t have married you otherwise. Though, upon reflection, I knew you were my best friend before I knew I held romantic feelings for you.

Martin: When was that?

Jon, letting out a breath that vibrates his lips: God it was...2016? I think it might’ve literally been the day after you told me about your CV.

Martin: That early? Huh. I wonder if that’s what people were picking up when they said they we were close.

Jon: What people?

Martin: I don’t know specifically, that’s just what Daisy told me.

Jon: Daisy? When the hell-?

Martin: It...was when she was interrogating me? And, because sometimes I have to be a parody of myself, pretty much my only take away from that interrogation was “people think me and Jon are close”.

Jon: Well then. It’s not like they were wrong.

Martin, smug: No, no they weren’t.

Martin, sincere: And you’re my best friend, too.

Jon: I was certainly hoping that you’re in this relationship for more than my good looks and incredible fortune, both in the monetary and luck sense.

Martin: You say that as if you aren’t good looking, which we all know is patently untrue.

Jon: You’re biased. You’d say I was good looking if I were nothing more than some primordial ooze with thoughts about its station.

Martin: I’m being completely objective. If you were primordial ooze with thoughts above its station, you’d be the cutest ooze of them all. That’s just scientific fact.

Jon: I’m starting to think we might be insufferable.

Martin: Starting to? Might be?

Jon:…

[Jon clears his throat]

Jon: What I find wonderful about the concept of best friends is, to me, they’re the closest thing real life has to soulmates. I don’t personally believe that there’s some..grand mystic force that drives people to be tied together in the manner that narrative typical soulmates are, and if there was I don’t think it would necessarily be the kind of emotional, heartfelt bond one would hope for, but I do believe that there’s individuals that get to know one another, and because of that knowledge, they chose to stick with one another. It doesn’t have to be a romantic, which is why I say best friend rather than specifically ‘spouse’, but I would argue that the basis of a strong romance like you and I have, is very much rooted in that connection. A true best friendship is an equal partnership, and there’s a sense of..matched sensibilities and understanding that can be utterly incandescent when it happens.

I also think that having one or more best friends makes living life on a day to day basis both better and just flat easier. The dark times aren’t as dark, and the bright times shine even more. I know from my own personal experience there are events that I..that I don’t know how I would’ve made it through without you. Hell, last week my..recovery period would’ve taken much longer if you hadn’t been there.

It’s an amazing thing to have someone to share things with, both triumphs and burdens. Um, also, according to Dictionary.com, the term best friends in English has been around since the 1200s. Something about that delights me, like, yes, we’ve had this casual way of referring to a Favorite Person for roughly 800 years. That makes it a hold-out from early Middle English. I dunno, it’s one of those things that make me feel overall very charmed by humanity.

Martin, audibly smiling: No, yeah, hard agree.

Jon: What’s that look for?

Martin: Nothing. Just. I love you a whole lot, you know that?

Jon, voice soft: I may have heard you say that once or twice. Per hour.

Martin: Only that often? I really need to be more diligent about that.

[There’s a bet of silence, presumably where they’re making doe eyes at each other.]

Jon: What’s your first thing?

Martin: Oh, um, right. Rats!

Jon: The expression or the animal?

Martin: Jon, have you ever once heard me say “rats” as an expression? Obviously I’m referring to the animal.

Jon: Ah. Should’ve known, considering that what, a third?, of all your segments have been on animals.

Martin: Yeah? And? You got a problem with critters? With creatures? With lil guys?

Jon, laughing: No, no, it’s very sweet. I’m just surprised you never became a vet.

Martin: Oh believe me, I wanted to. But then I learned that it was not, in fact, a job composed entirely of getting paid to play with other people’s pets.

Jon: You had that job, though, didn’t you? I thought I remembered you mentioning a month long stint at a doggie day care.

Martin, sighing dreamily: Best job I ever had. Too bad that place was shut down after it was revealed to be a money laundering front.

Jon: Good lord.

Jon: Martin did you...did you know it was a money laundering front at the time?

Martin:

Martin: Would it make you feel better if I said no?

Jon: Martin!

Martin: I figured it out like a week in, but, like, who cares? The pay was decent and the floor was super easy to clean, which is very much a plus for even a front of a doggie day care.

Jon: That’s...rather a lot. How about instead of getting into that any further, you tell me about rodents.

Martin: I would love to. But first, we have a shoutout!

Jon: Ooo, a shoutout. Does it specify who should read?

Martin: Let me check. It...does...not…..

...

Jon: Martin?

[A beat.]

Martin: Right! Sorry, um. This week’s shoutout is from Tim, to Danny. It says, “Danny! My favorite person who shares genetic material with me! I wanted to say thank you for your podcast obsession from 4 months ago, and specifically for telling me about these marrieds. They’ve gotten me through many a dull hour at the publishing house. Also, with this shoutout, I’ve officially gotten ahead on the Superior [Last Name Redacted] Brother scoreboard, so suck it. Love you lots, and looking forward to your visit next month, Tim.”

Jon: Oh.

Jon: Um. That’s very..sweet? I think? Mostly?

Martin: Yeah, I’d say so. Uh. We have to take a quick break because, uh, someone is..at our front door! Be back with you all in, from your side of things, just a moment.

[dustedmagazine]

Chat Pile — God’s Country (The Flenser)

God’s Country is the first LP from sludgy noiseniks Chat Pile, sons of Oklahoma City, which is also home to one of the world’s biggest livestock markets, the Murrah Building bombing and the governmental administration of the State of Oklahoma. The city’s prevailing cultural climate has previously been captured by the druggy bummers on those early Flaming Lips records and by all the screaming in Tracy Letts’ hair-raisingly great stage play Bug. The aestheticized frights and freakouts are appropriate: even before the U.S. Supreme Court decided to kneecap Planned Parenthood v. Casey, OKC was an unforgiving place to have a uterus, or to be queer, or poor. God’s country? More like a slaughterhouse.

Chat Pile adds to that bloodcurdling soundtrack. An obvious musical influence on the band is the mode of American noise rock that proliferated in the early 1990s: the Jesus Lizard, Tad, the unaccountably underappreciated Cows. But listen closely. Perhaps even more compelling are the resonances of Big Black, c. Atomizer (check out the guitar tone and rhythmic structures of Chat Pile’s “Slaughterhouse,” “Pamela” or “Tropical Beaches, Inc.”), and the artistic ethos of the Butthole Surfers, when that band was making records for Touch and Go. The Butts are primarily recalled for their enthusiasms for various kinds of dope and their utterly bananas stage show, and the dance-based antics and the odor of Kathleen Lynch are pretty unforgettable, if you had the dubious fortune of seeing and smelling her in the flesh. But under those absurdist surfaces, the band’s music was exorcising some seriously evil spirits; check out “22 Going on 23” or the violent psychodrama of “Jimi.” When Chat Pile is at their best, they tap into a similar well of serio-comic awfulness, nightmares that dance at the threshold of hilarity. 

Like those other bands and records, the ugliness of God’s Country is broadly satiric. Its songs are a parade of cartoon grotesques that want to show us our worst selves, the parts of our lives that operate in complicity with capital’s remorseless exploitations or with America’s casual cruelties. Sometimes Chat Pile allows the satiric façade to drop entirely. “Why” asks its questions about the injustices of homelessness directly — so disingenuously that one initially imagines its lyric speaker must be a morally precocious five-year-old: “Why do people have to live outside / When there are buildings all around us / With heat on and no one inside / Why?” But soon the words’ register shifts; singer Raygun Busch (nice stage name, dude) begins to discourse on “resources” and “means” and a “real American horror story / A fucking tragedy.” The appearance of childish bemusement disappears, and we’re left with an increasingly tedious exercise in didactic outrage. 

To be sure, there’s plenty to be pissed off about. But Chat Pile’s songs are much better when they follow the technique frequently employed by Jello Biafra with Dead Kennedys and later used by Steve Albini in many of Big Black’s best songs, like “Jordan, Minnesota” or “Kitty Empire.” Assume the imaginary situation of a crazed or craven character, speak it, let its eccentricities and turpitude do their work. “The Mask” operates in that fashion, narrating a vicious scene of armed robbery from the criminal’s perspective and breaking into chorus: “Line up the animals! / Sirloin stockade!” It’s hard to know if that’s how the gun-toting speaker sees his victims, or if some dehumanizing period of labor in a meatpacking factory has driven him to the song’s violent extremities. It’s better if we can’t figure it out. The ambiguity intensifies the song’s manic churn of steely, tensile amplifier abuse. 

The record’s most engaging song is its longest and last, which is also its least explicitly focused. The speaker of “grimace_smoking_weed.jpeg” has a specific piece of internet detritus in mind: an image of the purple McDonald’s monster holding an enormous spliff. But the “purple man” in the song is something more sinister: a childhood memory of trauma, a hideous doppelganger, the spectre of heavy drug addiction. Again, it’s undecidable, and the song’s expressionist miasma of rage and dread is suffused with the panic of not knowing. It’s hallucinatory and full of frantic brutality. Like America. 

The fellows in Chat Pile still need to figure out how close to the bone of the Real they want their music to cut, and how best to achieve that. But many of these songs lacerate with convincing passion and rock with memorable ferocity. Take a trip into God’s Country, but maybe tread carefully when you get to OKC. 

Jonathan Shaw

[lucifers-horror-harem]

Alan Sharpe Yandere Alphabet (Slasher OC)

So I am aware I don’t even have an official character sheet or background information on this new yandere slasher of mine, however I find that some of these bits come to me in time. Plus, a bunch of small tidbits are in this alphabet post too. But I am always happy to answer asks about this boy cause it helps me get to know him a bit better too <3

The face claim is Kim Coates <3 I imagine Alan to be mid fifties in age.

Warnings for non con/dub con elements, uses of housewife/wife/kids/implied AFAB

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

Alan is really emotionally and physically affectionate with his darling once he is certain they will accept it. He can be rather cold with someone who’s feisty or ungrateful and doesn't appreciate his love. He tends to go overboard spoiling his darling with material items and such, as money is no object for him. If he thinks something will make you happy he will do whatever it takes to get it for you.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

He will take care of whatever stands in the way between you and him. Ultimately he doesn't want to have to kill family or friends, but if they pose a threat to either of you or happen to find out his secrets they will have to go. Alan has people to take care of these things for him, but if they are a significant other or other love interest that makes him see red, he will take care of the matter himself. Violence and murder aren't new to him, when he was in his teens and early twenties he had a track record of hanging in the wrong crowds and going after anyone that stood in the way of his interests.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

If it were up to Alan, he would prefer to be sweet with you and as soon as he abducts you the two of you start the honeymoon phase of your relationship. But if you’re causing problems and trying to escape, he’ll treat you accordingly. He has no issue being cruel with you, getting into your head and insisting no one will love you like he can and how stupid you would have to be to not see the cushy life ahead of you, if only you accept his love. He doesn't really think its that hard of a choice.  

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

He would rather not force you to do anything you don't want to. All Alan wants is for you to love him, after all. But if time goes on and you continue to fight him, he might take more drastic measures to prove just how much he wants you. If you are being more docile and submissive, he might push boundaries and grope you as a way of teasing, but he will likely be more willing to wait for you. He has needs, after all. 

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

In the beginning of the relationship, Alan keeps his deepest feelings close to his chest and only tells his darling of the inconsequential things in his life. He wants a housewife type of partner so he always seems to like venting to you about how rough of a day he had at the office taking care of things, and him wanting to hear the same about your day in return (not that you can even go anywhere during the day). After a long period of time and trust he will slowly start to talk about deeper things with you, really opening up about what he wants and desires in his life. 

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

Alan hates it, but in a sick way he enjoys correcting your behavior. While he much prefers a more docile and sweet darling he will be more than happy finding a reason to take out his frustrations on the person who has been causing all these problems. If you were good, he wouldn't have to do this, you know. 

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

Love is something serious to Alan, and gets infuriated seeing his darling wanting to escape or attempting and failing. He will punish them accordingly, and hopefully they will learn their lesson. However, if his darling likes to indulge in bratty behavior but is still quite submissive and only wants to play, then he will be quite accommodating. He can be playful when he wants to, he just needs to feel comfortable enough to let that side of him out. 

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

The worst would be when they finally realize how dedicated Alan is to having you be his. It could be watching him kill with his bare hands in front of you for the first time, snuffing out the life of someone you know (a lover or someone who just got too close to you for Alan's comfort), and watching the glee in Alan's face as he did it, all while insisting he was doing it to protect you. Another possible contender would be finding out just how long and thoroughly he had been stalking you, waiting until just the right moment to strike. Even building trust with you, playing the kind and caring boss that everyone loves before showing his darker possessive side to you when you finally figure out what's going on. Once kidnapped, he would even use your social media to trick your family and friends into believing the two of you were together in a happy relationship under the radar (if you happened to work for him) when in reality you were trapped in one of his many homes against your will. 

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

Ultimately, Alan is looking for a partner to play out the parts of life that everyone his age for the most part already have. The wife, kids, happy family, the whole shebang. He wants a partner that will stay at home, even if they don't want to do housework he can hire someone for that. But he goes feral over the idea of coming home from a long day at the office and seeing his wife finishing dinner for him and the kids. He had far from the typical home life as a child and longs for the stability and normalcy of it. 

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

Alan gets insanely jealous, but he tends to reserve his anger for those who intend to steal you away from him. If all things work out for Alan, he would want you by his side at all business outings, and in those situations he wouldn't mind the casual conversation of people commenting on your beauty and how lucky of a man he is. It makes him proud and he wants you to feel special as well. But as a man he knows the way they look at you with less innocent intentions, even if they would never act upon them. That's what makes Alan's blood boil. He would never lash out at you specifically unless you actively encouraged others to flirt with you in front of him. He will make them pay in one way or another. 

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

In public he is the perfect gentleman, having you place a hand on his inner arm as he walks around. He is also known to keep a hand on the small of your back or hip to keep you close to him. While he does worry about you slipping away from him, he is naturally just a very touchy man and likes to have you within arms reach constantly. Will often bring your hand up to his lips to kiss your knuckles absent-mindedly as well. 

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

The most likely scenario of him finding a partner would be through his work, and while office romance is obviously not permitted because he’s the boss, it doesn’t stop him from being friendly. No one ever suspects him of anything because he is so kind and genuine with everyone. For his love, he would often give them the same treatment as everyone else with a bit of extra meaning behind his words. He would never directly ask them out, but he would be extra attentive and listening to you speak when you have conversations. People would probably call them a brown noser before even thinking that Alan had other motives in mind. He doesn’t give presents mostly because he doesn’t want to be seen as too forward, but if the opportunity arises he will pay for lunch or the coffee at the shop he just happened to bump into you at. 

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

Absolutely. For the boss of an established business with many important clients, he is all around a genuine good boss to his employees. When he took the business over from his father after he suddenly passed, he made sure he did the opposite of what his father did when it came to treating his employees well. When people look at him they see a genuinely kindhearted man that they can’t believe isn’t married, as everyone else around his age typically is. He was married once though not many people know about it and he prefers to keep that and the majority of his past hidden away from prying minds.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

If he is in a good mood there will be a lot of torturous edging on his part. Alan has been known to favor tying up his partner and leaving them for hours until he comes back later to take care of them. He also loves spanking and impact play, knowing just how much you can handle before you cry, though if you’ve been bad he just might want to see you cry a little. If Alan is in a bad mood his punishments will be harsher, the bindings tighter, and will be fine seeing your tears pour freely as you beg for him to slow down.

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

When he first kidnaps you he will take away almost everything, especially any sort of phone or internet for you to reach the outside world. He makes sure to have things for you to occupy yourself with and even your favorite hobbies and books. But if you continue to disobey, more of those things will be taken away from you. Once you start getting used to life with Alan, he will slowly give you more privileges as he trusts you with them.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

Alan is much more patient with a willing partner, especially if they’re shy or inexperienced. He will bend over backward to slowly ease your way into the sexual things he wants from you, though sometimes he might cross your boundaries simply to see what happens. If you’ve been nothing but ungrateful to him, he will have a lot less patience and be more forceful with what he wants from you. He still cares about you though, and would rather not force you to be with him but if you give him no choice he just might. 

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

While the odds of leaving or escaping under his watch are very small, nevertheless he would be heartbroken and furious at you. How could you not understand what he was offering you? Who would pass up such a comfortable life? Most likely he will have you back with him shortly whether by himself or from his hired men, and your punishment will make you seriously consider escaping again. A part of him is terrified about police intervention, but it would take a lot for you to be able to get them or anyone on your side, and he would have the evidence disposed of quickly if that’s the road you chose. If you were to die, that would be another story. He would never be able to forgive himself, blaming himself for your death constantly whether it was his fault or not. Alan might be able to move on one day, but if his darling were to die it would only make him more cruel and cold when it came to the next person he set his sights on.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

The only time Alan might ever feel guilty would be years later after you were in love with him and had given him children, he might feel remorse for how he went about it, wondering if he could have seduced you normally. However those thoughts don’t last long, and he wouldn’t want to change the circumstances for the world. 

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

Growing up as the son of a wealthy businessman and a high society woman, he has quite a bit of trauma. The majority was psychological abuse from his father constantly berating him for not being manly enough to take over the business, with Alan rebelling in every way he could just to make his father mad. His mother was rarely in the picture, as she did her own thing with her own people and rarely saw Alan. He was taken better care of by his nanny than either of his parents. The life he wants for himself is far removed from what he dealt with as a child.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

While he might feel bad for seeing his darling cry, he typically doesn’t feel bad seeing them upset. He knows this is an adjustment period for them, and eventually, they will calm down. If not, then he might see you as a spoiled brat who can’t think rationally.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

Not sure if this is different, but he stalks his darling obsessively for a long period of time before kidnapping them. He uses all sorts of cameras and bugging equipment just to see you whenever he can’t be next to you. Alan needs to know everything about you for when you come to live with him and wants to make the transition as easy as possible.

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

If his darling can find out anything about Alan’s past, it would be the closest thing they have to twist the metaphorical knife into his wounds. There are a lot of skeletons in his closet, some of them being things that were scrubbed from official records while others weren’t even found out. Be careful if you decide to go digging before he trusts you enough to tell you these things, he might have to hurt you horribly just for the breach of trust.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

Definitely. While he emotionally manipulates them constantly into believing what he does is love, if push comes to shove he will physically harm his darling to make sure they don’t escape again. A broken arm or leg wouldn’t be unheard of with Alan, and one should be lucky if they get away with that little.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

To Alan, you are his entire world, a chance for him to start a family and have the normal life he always wanted. He would worship the ground you walk on, making sure you knew every second of every day how much he loved and cherished you, his savior. And if you don’t believe him, he will go to the ends of the earth and do whatever you ask within reason to prove to you just how much he loves you.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

Alan might last at most a year simply watching his darling, especially if there is no competition from other partners. If someone else comes into the picture, Alan is quick to speed his plan along and kidnap you away before you can even grow attached to this person.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

While the sadistic part of him loves the idea of breaking his darling down, he ultimately wants them to accept him of their own free will. He might push and push until you bend under his will, but unless he is at his wit’s end he will do his best to keep you from completely breaking.

[dweemeister]

NOTE: This is the third film released theatrically during the COVID-19 pandemic that I am reviewing – I saw Raya and the Last Dragon at the Regency Theatres Directors Cut Cinema’s drive-in operation in Laguna Niguel, California. Because moviegoing carries risks at this time, please remember to follow health and safety guidelines as outlined by your local, regional, and national health officials.

Raya and the Last Dragon (2021)

As Raya and the Last Dragon, directed by Don Hall and Carlos López Estrada and written by Qui Nguyen and Adele Lim, made its theatrical and streaming bow, the United States was grappling with a wave of highly-publicized hate incidents towards Asian-Americans in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic. This spike in racially-motivated verbal abuse, assaults, and homicides began with the pandemic and, frustratingly, had only been receiving national attention in these last few weeks. Despite the nation’s racist origins entwined with chattel slavery of black people and its continued unequal treatment of minorities including Asian-Americans, I am not qualified to say if the U.S. is “more” or “less racist” than other countries. But I can hardly think of any other people that interrogate racial inequality and oppression as much (and as publicly) as Americans – an undeniable strength. There was no way Raya and the Last Dragon’s cast and crew could have anticipated the film’s fraught timing, but the film provides a much-needed, positive, and heavily flawed, action-adventure romp drawn from Southeast Asian cultures.

The very notion that Walt Disney Animation Studios was attempting to craft a film using an amalgam of Southeast Asian cultures stoked my excitement and dread. Southeast Asian cultures – including, but not limited to, Cambodia, Indonesia, Laos, Malaysia, Myanmar, the Philippines, Thailand, and Vietnam – are often lumped into those of East Asia (China, Korea, Japan), which dominate Asian-American depictions or Asian-influenced media in the United States. What gave me pause is that Disney’s track record in films featuring non-European-inspired characters and places inspired by non-European cultures is mixed. Aladdin (1992) and Pocahontas (1995) are aggregations of (and indulge in stereotypes towards) Arabs and indigenous Americans alike, especially in their presentations of “savagery” (Pocahontas in particular is guilty of false equivalences).

Cultural aggregations in fictional settings are not insensitive, per se. Yet, Disney’s stated intentions on this film are undermined by a voice cast ensemble almost entirely composed of actors of Chinese and Korean descent – you can bring up Adele Lim’s response to the voice casting controversy all you want, but her response contradicts the film’s promotion. Amid its gorgeous production and character design, Raya manages to avoid the worst mistakes of its Disney Renaissance predecessors. But its hero’s journey is too cluttered and too littered with the anachronistic and metatextual jokes plaguing the last decade’s Disney animated features.

Five centuries before the events of Raya and the Last Dragon, the land of Kumandra saw its people live in harmony with dragons. That relationship, however, would be devastated by the appearance of the Druun – a swirling, purple vortex that turns living beings into stone. In the conflict against the Druun, the last dragon, Sisu (Awkwafina), makes a fateful sacrifice to save Kumandra by concentrating the dragons’ collective power into a magical orb. Soon after, Kumandra’s five tribes – Fang, Heart, Spine, Tail, and Talon (named after parts of a dragon) – fight amongst each other for control of the orb (Heart eventually gains possession of it), effectively partitioning the land. In the present day, the Heart tribe’s Chief Benja (Daniel Dae Kim) proposes and hosts a feast-summit to discuss and heal Kumandra’s divisions. Benja has taught his daughter, Raya (Kelly Marie Tran), the ways of a warrior and the necessity for Kumandra’s tribes to realize their oneness. At the feast-summit, Raya befriends Namaari (Gemma Chan; Jona Xiao as young Namaari), the daughter of Fang Chief Virana (Sandra Oh). Predictably, Namaari betrays her new friend in an orchestrated ploy to pilfer the dragons’ orb for Fang. Just as the Druun make a surprise invasion of Heart, the botched heist sees the orb break into five, and each of the tribes makes off with part of the orb. It will be up to Raya to recover the other four pieces of the orb, lest Kumandra succumb to the Druun.

The film’s screenplay is, charitably, a mess. Though Qui Nguyen (primarily a playwright) and Adele Lim (2018’s Crazy Rich Asians) are the credited screenwriters, Raya’s phalanx of story credits (mostly full-time, white employees at the Disney studios) suggest studio interference. Raya seems as if it is trying to cleanly differentiate certain tribes as based on a certain Southeast Asian nation. Instead, it comes off as a brew of mish-mashed parts (this problem extends to the otherwise stunning animation). With the exception of those from the militant Fang, the bit characters from the various tribes do not behave any differently from the members of other tribes. The partition of Kumandra, five hundred years before the events of Raya, feels like as if it had never existed for lengthy stretches in this film.

After Kelly Marie Tran, as Raya, narrates the mythology and history of Kumandra in the opening minutes, the film’s structure tethers itself predictably to the monomyth. The fracturing of the dragon’s orb into five parts sends Raya onto a tedious adventure: the physical travel to a new part of Kumandra, introduction of a sidekick (all of them are comic reliefs), an action setpiece involving a necessary assist from new sidekick, and the integration of that sidekick into Raya’s ever-growing party. Lather, rinse, repeat. To squeeze the four other tribes into the film’s 107-minute runtime and set up a climax and resolving actions results in a frantically-paced movie. Almost all of the film’s dialogue is subservient to its structure, the hero’s journey. This disallows the viewer to learn more about our lead and her fellow adventurers. In arguably the most important example in how the dedication to story structure undermines the characters, take Raya’s repeated mentions to her newfound confidants that she has difficulty trusting others. Six years have passed since the day of Namaari’s betrayal and Raya’s discovery of Sisu. How has Raya’s sense of distrust evolved over time, and how does it manifest towards those of other tribes? Does it appear in moments without consequence to her quest, in gusts of casual cruelty? In terms of characterization, Raya is showing too little and telling just the basics – a dynamic that also applies to the film’s most important supporting characters.

Ever since Tangled (2010), the films of the Disney animated canon have increased their use of metatextual and anachronistic humor (e.g. Kristoff’s comment about Anna’s engagement to a person she just met in 2013’s Frozen and Maui’s Twitter joke in 2016’s Moana that still makes me gnash my teeth when I think about it). Invariably, the success of the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) has seen its brand of pathos-destroying humor bleed into the Disney animated canon and Star Wars. Like so many films in the Disney animated canon, Raya takes place in a fantastical location in a never-time far removed from the present. From the moment Raya meets Sisu, the circa-2020s humor is ceaseless. For Disney animated movies set in fantastical worlds, this sort of humor suits films that are principally comedies, such as The Emperor’s New Groove (2000) – a work that owes more to Looney Tunes than anything Disney has created. Instead, Raya’s comedy will suit viewers who frequent certain corners of the Internet, “for the memes.” Do Disney’s animation filmmakers believe the adults and children viewing their films so impatient and unintelligent about human emotions? That they will not accept a scene that deals honestly with betrayal, disappointment, heartbreak, or loss unless there is a snide remark or visual gag inserted within said scene or shortly afterward?

Raya seems like a film set to portray its scenarios with the gravity they require. But overusing Awkwafina’s Awkwafina-esque jokes and a DreamWorks- or Illumination Entertainment-inspired infant causing meaningless havoc will subvert whatever emotions Nguyen and Lim are attempting to evoke. These statements are not arguing that Raya and Disney’s animated films should be humorless, that Disney should stop casting an Awkwafina or an Eddie Murphy as comic relief. Instead, Raya is another case study in how Disney’s brand of ultramodern humor is overtaking their films’ integral dramatics. Raya is noisy, clamorous – no different than anything Disney has released in the last decade, save Winnie the Pooh (2011).

Production designers Helen Mingjue Chen, Paul A. Felix, and Cory Loftis have worked on films like Wreck-It Ralph (2012), Big Hero 6 (2014), or Zootopia (2016). Each of these films feature glamorous, near-future metropolises or sleek digital worlds. Where the tribespeople of Kumandra might not be behaviorally-differentiated, the color coding, lighting, and biomes of each of the five lands comprising Kumandra ably distinguishes Fang, Heart, Spine, Tail, and Talon from each other. As if taking cues from the production designs of Big Hero 6’s San Fransokyo and, to some extent, The King and I (1956), it is difficult to pin down specific influences on the clashing architectural styles within the lands, in addition to the unusually empty and cavernous palaces and temples and varying costumes. As picturesque as some of these lands are, the art direction does not help to empower the characteristic of the tribes and their native lands. Nor does James Newton Howard’s thickly-synthesized grind of an action score, which prefers to accompany the film’s excellent combat scenes rather than stake a clearer thematic identity for its own. Howard uses East and Southeast Asian instrumentations and influences in his music, but, disappointingly, they are heavily processed through synthetic elements and are played underneath the film’s sound mix.

Character art directors Shiyoon Kim (Tangled, 2018’s Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse) and Ami Thompson (2017’s MFKZ, 2018’s Ralph Breaks the Internet) embrace the (generally) darker and varying skin complexions of Southeast Asian peoples. The skin textures are among the best ever produced in a Disney CGI-animated feature, and the variety of face shapes – although still paling in comparison to the best hand-drawn features – is a pleasure to witness.

The number of films starring actors/voice actors of Asian descent (all-Asian or majority-Asian), animated or otherwise, and released by a major Hollywood studio makes for a brief list. Raya and the Last Dragon joins an exclusive club that includes the likes of The Dragon Painter (1919), Go for Broke! (1951), Flower Drum Song (1961), The Joy Luck Club (1993), and Crazy Rich Asians (2018). Among those movies, Raya is the only entry specifically influenced by Southeast Asian cultures. Its cast may be headlined by Kelly Marie Tran (whose skill as a voice actor is one of the film’s most pleasant surprises), but most of the roles went to those of Chinese or Korean descent. No disrespect intended towards Gemma Chan, Sandra Oh, or veteran actress Lucille Soong, but the majority East Asian cast only serves to further monolithize Asians – as the amalgamated story, plot details, and production design have already done. I will not second-guess any fellow person of Southeast Asian descent if they feel “seen” through Raya. What a compliment that would be for this film. How empowering for that person. But the life experiences of those of East Asian and Southeast Asian descent are markedly different. Disney’s casting decisions in Raya – all in the wake of the disastrous Western and Eastern reception of the live-action Mulan (2020) – have revealed a fundamental lack of effort or understanding about the possibilities of a sincere attempt at representation.

To this classic film buff, the discourse surrounding Raya strikes historical chords. When Flower Drum Song was released to theaters, the film was labeled by the American mainstream as the definitive Asian-American movie. Opening during the height of the American Civil Rights Movement, the film (and the musical it adapts) looked like nothing released by Hollywood (and on Broadway) at that time. In that midcentury era of rising racial consciousness and the lack of opportunities for Asian-Americans in Hollywood, the marking of Flower Drum Song as the absolute pan-Asian celebration was bound to happen – however unfair the distinction. Even though Rodgers and Hammerstein (two white Jewish men who made well-meaning, problematic attempts to craft musicals decrying racial prejudice and social injustices) composed the musical and zero Asian people worked behind the camera, those labels remained. With some differences in who wrote the source material, The Joy Luck Club and Crazy Rich Asians have followed Flower Drum Song’s fate in their categorizations. Will Raya? Time will be the judge, the only judge.

Before time passes judgment, we have some present-day hints. Though not released by major studios, the quick succession of The Farewell (2019) and Minari (2020) point to an experiential specificity that Raya attempts, but never comes close to achieving. Whether through aggregation or specificity, Hollywood benefits from the perspectives of underrepresented groups. Widespread claims that Raya too closely copies Nickelodeon’s Avatar: The Last Airbender (2005-2008) reflect that dearth of East Asian and Southeast Asian representation in American media. For too many, ATLA is the Asian fantasy. These simplistic observations and bad-faith criticisms (one could rebuke Disney’s vaguely-European princess films on the same principles, but I find this as lazy as the bad-faith ATLA criticisms) also suggest a lack of understanding that Asian-inspired stories are drawing from similar tropes codified by Asian folklore and narratives centuries old. If one reads through this reviewer’s write-ups, you will find an abiding faith in the major Hollywood studios – past, present, and future – to be artistically daring and to genuinely represent long-excluded persons. Many might see this faith as misplaced. But even in the major studios’ flawed attempts to depict underrepresented groups, like Raya, they concoct astonishing sights and form moving links to the cinematic past.

Assuming you have not skipped to this paragraph, the write-up that you have read may seem scathing to your eyes. Raya is no Disney classic – there has not been one for some time. However, I thoroughly enjoyed my first viewing of Raya. After a few weeks’ worth of keeping my agony private over the recent uproar over attacks on persons of Asian descent in America, it was a surreal experience to see even an amalgamated celebration of Southeast Asian culture. Over this last year, we have lost people and things that emboldened us and ennobled us. In this season of unbelonging and otherizing feelings for Asians in America, Raya’s timing is fortuitous. It is emboldening and ennobling.

My rating: 6/10

^ Based on my personal imdb rating. Half-points are always rounded down. My interpretation of that ratings system can be found in the “Ratings system” page on my blog (as of July 1, 2020, tumblr is not permitting certain posts with links to appear on tag pages, so I cannot provide the URL).

For more of my reviews tagged “My Movie Odyssey”, check out the tag of the same name on my blog.

[someguy1023]

Nobody’s gonna care about this, but maybe someone will

i think it’ll help convey why im so stuck on this, and why i seem to be focusing more on Holly and, according to messages i kept getting, “white knighting” for her. I’m not gonna justify Holly’s behavior. thats not what this is about. I just want this off my chest.

(im gonna regret this)

also, just to preemptively defend myself, i know how cheesy all this is gonna sound. But its the truth.

so. i guess i should preface this by explaining when I first heard about Holly. Maybe it’ll help this make sense in context. Maybe not. I don’t know but it doesnt hurt to try.

I didn’t actually learn about Holly through the internet like i assume most others did. I actually first found her through TV. More specifically, through that Heroes of Cosplay show SciFi has produced a few years back. I enjoyed it, but found myself mainly enjoying the work Holly and Jessica did while on the show. They were my favorite team, and I always tried to watch whenever they were in an episode. After a while though, I, like a lot of others apparently, got bored and moved on, and eventually forgot about Holly.

It was a few years later that I would find her again. This time, like many others, through Grumps. More specifically, through Ross and Steam Train. I was surprised when it turns out that one of my favorite members of GG was also married to one of my favorite people on HoC. Small world. I stayed a more casual fan, watching the occasional playthrough or crafting episode on her channel. I was more of a fan of GG and Ross, so I tended to watch more of his stuff than hers, but I still made sure to keep watching her stuff. It wasn’t anything major, she just made me smile.

A few years later, it meant something more to me.

In 2016, my father died. Normally, that wouldn’t be such a big deal for something like this. It was everything leading up to his death that was the problem. I always had a very “problematic” relationship with my father. He was abusive towards me when I was younger, lashing out at me for really minor problems. (for example, one time he had lifted me up in the air by my throat and began strangling me when I was ~6. Why? Because I had used some money our neighbor gave me for cleaning up his lawn to buy a popsicle from an ice cream truck, ate half of it, then put the other half in the fridge. He found it, got mad at me, and then began to yell at me. I had a nervous tic when I was younger where I giggled uncontrollably when I was scared. Sure enough, I began to giggle and could stop it, and then he, enraged, lifted me up. I realize years later he was probably drunk, considering he smelled really weird. It isnt a good memory.) He eventually left my mom and I when I was almost 7, moving down to Alabama with this lady he met in a bar, and proceeded to do pretty much every major drug imaginable. I didn’t see/hear from him again until a few years later at his mother’s funeral. He seemed remorseful for what he did to me, and a year or two later, moved in with his cousin back in the state I was living in at the time. I began visiting him when I was 13, and he seemed to be better. He apologized to me for what he did, he tried to be a good dad, and I believed him. That was my first mistake.

Flash forward to January 3rd, 2016. I was visiting him for the weekend after staying at my cousin’s, and was sorting through my things to make sure i didnt forget anything. We had visited one of his friends to get something he borrowed (according to him) then got back to his house. He was sitting on the couch, watching TV, and I thought he fell asleep. I noticed he had a cigarette in his mouth he was going to light before he passed out, so I went over to put it aside. I figured out he wasn’t sleeping. It turns out, he was overdosing, and what I thought was snoring was his throat closed shut and the air escaping his lungs. He was dying. I told his wife (at the time) what what happening, she called 911, and I went upstairs to hide in my bedroom. A lil while later, the ambulance came by, and the paramedics gave him whatever that stuff is they give addicts who OD. (At the time, I didnt know what was going on. He had really bad lungs, and I thought they were shutting down or something. I was told it was from him overdosing later that night.) He woke up, and they drove him to the hospital to make sure he was okay. I went back to my moms house, and stayed there. That was the last time I saw him alive

As it turns out, my dad had been using me for over 2 or 3 years. He was not only stealing money from me under the pretense of helping him with driving for over an hour to pick up/drop me off from my moms place to visit, but had also been heavily manipulating me for years in order to control me. He had tried to turn me against my mother and her side of the family, claiming she had used me to verbally abuse and control him when they were married, telling me lies in order to keep me under his thumb. (like how she threatened to abort me if he didnt marry her after knocking her up, or how she had him steal from his sister during her wedding, etc.) I began to despise my mother, arguing with her constantly, and, on his insistence, never told her anything about what he was doing or what he told me. It wasnt until after that day that I learned it was all lies.

I was devastated. I felt hurt, used, and betrayed. (I realize now...its because I actually was.) I was a wreck. It didnt help that 4 months later...he died. Needless to say, it was a very, very tough grieving period. I locked myself away in my room, unable to summon the energy to even get up in the morning. I had suffered from mild depression prior to this, but it was much worse. I couldn’t find a way to get through this, suffering for months, and eventually, began to think about suicide.

Thats where Holly came back in.

Besided the playthroughs helping cheer me up a lil whenever I put them on, it was her advice that really began my path to healing. Her kind words and support to others began to help me sort through the baggage I had been dealing with about my dad. I began to follow her advice on how to deal with my depression, and began to slowly ull myself back from the edge, and, over time, began to pull myself back up. Eventually, with her help, I began to attend regular therapy sessions, and managed to fully come to terms with what my father had done to me, as well as properly manage both my depression and anxiety problems. I honestly don’t know where I’d be right now if it wasn’t for Holly. She helped keep me going when I really needed it. She, for lack of a better expression, helped save my life. I’ll always be grateful to her for that...despite all of this. Ever since then, whenever I felt my depression weighing me down, or felt my anxiety creep back up on me, I could rely on her to help keep me grounded.

When all this happened, I couldnt help but notice I felt the same way as I did all those years ago. Despite the fact that its just some random lady on the internet, and shouldnt have mattered as much as it did...it still hurt on a personal level. The worst part of this whole thing? I can’t go back to the thing that helped me out whenever I felt this way. Not without being reminded everywhere I go of how everyone thinks of her.

So...maybe thats why I’m doing all this. Not just to stop people from spreading hate and rumors based on speculation...but because part of me cant/doesnt want to believe one of the people I relied on and put trust in could be the bad guy. Because part of me just refuses to let go or lose someone who meant so much to me. Because part of me wants to believe that things will get better...even if I know they wont.

If you read through this, thank you. Maybe someone out there feels the same way I do. Maybe, if they dont, someone can understand. Its been a rough month for me. I just hope things will look up somehow. I dont know if I’m gonna come back to this. Im realizing it probably isnt healthy. The only thing I have left to say, then, if I dont come back; please, try to spread good. I know this is the internet, and even worse, tumblr...but i think people need some light nowadays. and constantly spreading hate and cruelty...that wont help anyone. I know nothing i say matters, that nothing i’ve done has changed any minds. but even if you cant trust Holly anymore, or dont believe anything she says...at least believe in one of her beliefs. That kindness is the greatest thing to spread to others, and the world can sure use a lot more of it.

Good night.

[a-room-of-my-own]

This is grim stuff, so apologies in advance. Although I don’t know why I’m apologizing.

Aimee Challenor, former spokesperson for the UK Green Party and current Diversity Officer for the Coventry Liberal Democrats is about to marry a gentleman from Michigan who writes pornographic fiction about children and “mind control.”

How do we know this? Because someone posted the accusation on Mumsnet and the budding author, Nathaniel Knight, cheerfully owned up to it on Twitter.

“Yes, I have written smut,” Knight said. “I have written smut featuring minors. I have written smut featuring incest. I have written smut featuring things that are not ethically sound or morally right in the real world. I also write smut featuring adults.”

Stirring stuff! Even by the Internet’s cavalier application of the laws of space and time, the thread stayed online for too long. Knight deleted the thread, but it was too late. The tweets had been screen-shotted and reposted.

Note his choice of word, by the way: “Smut.” Not “pornography” or “porn” or even “erotica.” Those words wouldn’t have quite as casual an air. “Smut” has the just-minding-my-own-business-guv quality you need when you’re choosing something to loiter next to the word “minors.” Essentially, he’s trying to diminish it and normalize what it is he actually writes and fantasizes about. “I have no reason to hide the fact,” he continues, “that I am sexually awakened adult who has fantasies that might be unethical to explore in real life.”

Well, you do, mate, as a matter of fact. Because your “unethical” fantasies are the kind that get you housed away from the general prison population, should you be so “unethical” as to indulge them in real life. (Again, note another artfully chosen word.)

It was an astonishing thread. The guy’s brain is obviously so pickled in porn that he genuinely doesn’t realize that the thing he is oversharing is something that no human being should ever feel safe saying out loud to anyone, except maybe a therapist.

But Knight isn’t really the point. You see, at the time of writing, Aimee Challenor is still — still — on the trans advisory board at Stonewall, an influential charity which advises many organizations with responsibilities for children, including the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC). Yes, that NSPCC. (And now, this NSPCC.)

Despite the fact that Challenor’s father was charged for an unspeakably dreadful and depraved crime, Aimee continued to use him as an election agent. David Challenor is currently serving a 20+ year sentence for raping and torturing a 10-year-old girl in the attic of the family home.

The Greens produced a report that meant Aimee scarpered rather than hang about to be disciplined, pausing only to shout “transphobia” on the way out the door. Then it was straight into the arms of the Liberal Democrats and a new man, who apparently shares the same taste for children — at least in his imagination — as David Challenor.

A Labour peer recently got fired from her position as the shadow Brexit secretary because she complained about a bunker mentality at the top of the party, but this is a problem that extends all the way across the UK Left. Anyone pointing out legitimate concerns with, for instance, the obvious ramifications of legally allowing individuals to self-identify as the opposite sex, is portrayed as a bigot and a bully, with a kind of message consistency that would be the envy of Fox News.

Feminists who question modern gender ideology are insulted by trans activists in suspiciously coordinated language. The same phrases come up again and again: “no debate,” “transwomen are women,” “trans rights are human rights” (whatever that means… Trans people have the same rights as the rest of us…) There are some — the majority — who repeat this messaging because they think it makes them appear more inclusive, more evolved, and because they haven’t thought beyond its superficially “kind” appearance.

But there are others — and I think David Challenor was one of them — who have a vested interest in lowering the standards of safeguarding in the UK and silencing those who raise the alarm about it. As social workers often point out, it only takes a few people to groom an organization — or, in this case, a whole movement — and people like David Challenor see the destruction of safeguarding norms as a way to normalize sexual practices and exploitation of children that would ordinarily attract a criminal sanction. Almost in the same way another person with paedophilic tendencies would replace the words “pornography” and “evil” with “smut” and “unethical.”

These women who must be silenced include Helen Watts, who was expelled from the Girl Guides for questioning Stonewall’s safeguarding policies. Stonewall (along with Gendered Intelligence) advised Girlguiding on its trans inclusion guidelines — guidelines that require males who identify as girls to use the same sleeping, washing, and changing facilities as females, without the prior knowledge or consent of parents. If girls object, the only remedy is to ask for a private space away from the others, or not take part.

“Girls are being groomed to ignore their own boundaries, to put the needs of males above their own, to never express a preference for single sex spaces for fear of being labelled a bigot.” Watts told me. “It’s revealing that while the Guides trans policy emphasizes that trans children must be protected from harassment and victimization, no such protection is offered specifically for girls who must have single sex spaces.”

As Helen also pointed out, “In all seriousness now, if Yaniv was in the UK and so inclined, [Yaniv] could be a girl guide leader. Girlguiding policy is that being a woman is a matter of self ID. Anyone who says they’re a woman can be a leader. Assuming [Yaniv] passed a DBS check (no convictions) then [Yaniv] is in.”

Women like Watts are now tagged for violence as “TERFs” by both gleeful misogynists and unthinking children who insist they are protecting the most vulnerable. Aimee Challenor is very likely a damaged young person for whom we should have sympathy, but sympathy should not extend to enabling such people to take influential lobbying roles with young people’s organizations.

And must it again be pointed out that both organizations have a duty of care — not only to the vulnerable LGB people who are affected by their guidelines and policies, but to Aimee Challenor?

One thing is certain, there is no way this person should be giving Stonewall any kind of advice. And while they are, no-one should be taking advice from Stonewall.

Graham Linehan is the comedy writer and director behind Father Ted, The IT Crowd, and Black Books.

[aion-rsa]

Sharon Carter Deserves Better Than the Falcon and the Winter Soldier Finale

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

This article contains The Falcon and the Winter Soldier spoilers.

The Marvel Cinematic Universe giveth and the Marvel Cinematic Universe taketh away. The MCU proper’s first foray into scripted television resulted in the magical, near-perfect WandaVision, a thoughtful exploration of grief and trauma that finally elevated one of the franchise’s most oft-neglected characters. Its second is The Falcon and the Winter Soldier, a sadly ham-fisted origin story for Sam Wilson’s much-deserved turn as Captain America that stumbles over everything from its politics to the specifics of its basic character arcs.

As a whole, the series suffers from dreadfully uneven pacing, an overstuffed plot, and conflicting internal messages about propaganda, policing, and who deserves the chance to be considered a hero. But, hey, at least it finally gave one of the franchise’s most criminally underserved female characters a chance to shine, introducing an angry, bitter Sharon Carter hardened by terrible circumstances into a woman whose brutal new fighting style is only the first indication of all the ways she’s changed since her last appearance onscreen in Captain America: Civil War.

Until it…didn’t. Sadly, The Falcon and the Winter Soldier ultimately abandons any semblance of a real arc for Sharon in the name of a cheap twist that not only doesn’t make sense, it isn’t even particularly shocking. Many viewers predicted weeks ago that Sharon would likely turn out to be the mysterious Madripoor villain called the Power Broker, if only because the show was rapidly running out of time to introduce any other character that might somehow fill that role.

To be honest, the idea of Sharon Carter suddenly turning heel into an antiheroine (or possibly a supervillain depending on how big you think her evil empire is) actually works, for the most part. After all, she risked her life, reputation, and career for a man who left her to fend for herself for the better part of a decade while he traveled back in time to romance her dead great aunt and secured pardons for his far more murderous friends. She was abandoned by the very institutions she dedicated her life to serving and essentially forgotten by those who claimed to have her back.

It Is certainly understandable – perhaps even laudable – that she might have some very complicated feelings about all that. Revenge? Payback? Justice? Sharon is completely within her rights to want all those things. And her character is made all the more interesting by the fact that she now sees the world in complex shades of grey rather than the clearly delineated sense of right and wrong of her previous blonde All-American girl persona.

The problem is, The Falcon and the Winter Soldier does absolutely zero of the work that’s necessary to justify this twist, and the result is something that feels like just another moment in a long line of incidents in which the MCU refuses to grant its female characters anything that resembles real interiority. The show takes advantage of what we all understood Sharon’s previous identity to be for shock value, even as it asks its audience to do all the heavy lifting of figuring out for ourselves why she made any of the choices we saw onscreen.

To be clear, the idea of Sharon Carter as a pseudo villain of some type is pretty fascinating on paper. After all, how do you go from a perfect blonde SHIELD poster girl to a murderous kingpin of what is essentially criminal Pleasure Island? What does that kind of journey – emotional or otherwise – involve? What are the compromises you have to make? How do you justify those kinds of decisions to yourself – particularly if you, like Sharon, were previously a pretty upright, moral person? I have no idea, and apparently, The Falcon and the Winter Soldier doesn’t either.

That Sharon, of all people, would suddenly be okay with not only manufacturing but selling super-soldier serum is laughably bizarre, as is her decision to kill multiple people, including Flag Smasher ringleader Karli. (As is the fact that it occurs immediately after a conversation where both women acknowledge how similar their lives and origin stories are!) The show makes no effort to explain Sharon’s involvement with Batroc or why she would suddenly be okay with the Frenchman’s desire to kill Sam (which, let’s not forget is the one basic fact we know about his character) when she’s also the person who rescued her (ex) friend from Selby back in the series’ third episode.

Plus, the show’s awkward attempt to conceal this most obvious of twists made for some pretty gaping plot holes: Why did Sharon help Sam and Bucky track down the very scientist she was using to make super-soldier serum? What was her reason for fighting the Flag Smashers if she was already using them for her own nefarious ends? What, it bears asking, is the point of any of this?

It would be one thing if The Falcon and the Winter Soldier had fully leaned into Sharon’s journey to the dark side – maybe allowed us to spend more than 10 minutes with the character over the course of the season or treated this complex emotional shift that’s actually kind of understandable in a certain light as though it were anything other than a gotcha finale twist. But, it didn’t, because this seems to be the only thing that the MCU knows how to do with Sharon – use her to propel the narratives of characters other than her own.

We learn literally nothing about her rise to power in Madripoor, or the specifics of how her resentment toward the U.S. government crystallized into outright hatred of the sort that edges remarkably close to terrorism. Sure, she was once a SHIELD agent that believed in the values of the organization her Aunt Peggy founded, but that was a long time ago, and she’s been through a lifetime’s worth of betrayal and trauma since then.

Had The Falcon and the Winter Soldier shown us any of Sharon’s time trudging through life in the criminal underworld or underlined the ways she struggled to adjust to a post-Blip reality in which she had essentially lost everything for a second time, then her casual cruelty and determined self-interest might feel like a natural evolution of her character. She’s gone from being a part of a team to living a life on the run and only being able to count on herself to survive. It’s no wonder some of her solutions were questionable ones. The story there practically writes itself. Or, at least, it should.

Instead, The Falcon and the Winter Soldier counts on its viewers knowing – or caring – so little about Sharon as a character that they’ll mistake shock value for character development, and it refuses to commit to the twist in a way that feels earned or even necessarily permanent. (Let me put it to you this way: You would not believe how many people on the internet are already insisting that Sharon is a Skrull.)

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

Despite the story’s best efforts, however, there’s something mildly exciting about the prospect of a more morally gray Sharon, determined to punish the institutions that left her – and those like her, if we want to bring Blip politics into it – behind. But Marvel has shown us time and again that it’s incapable of treating this character with anything remotely like nuance so with her luck Sharon will be in a Raft cell next to Zemo’s by the end of Season 2.

The post Sharon Carter Deserves Better Than the Falcon and the Winter Soldier Finale appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3ngg8NY

[fearlesslyenchantedinwonderland]

Lover Ranking

I Forgot That You Existed

She’s fun but not a stand out, I like how she connects it to rep, making it feel like a continuum from the previous album.

Ranking: 1 of 1

Cruel Summer

This should have been the lead single or the 2nd single from the album (honestly I think I would like it even more if it was a single, I bet I would like the radio version even more than I like this version).

Ranking: 1 of 2 over IFTYE

Lover

That awkward moment when Shawn Mendes collaborated on the song and then ruined it for himself like a week later.  Since this song is a radio song I think it’s made me like it a little less since it has been replayed. But I do enjoy this song. I’m not the biggest fan of the tempo in the first verse and I prefer the build of instruments in the 2nd chorus compared to the first. Sometimes I wish this song was more acoustic or had more instrumentals with more advance singing techniques. But I still appreciate it as is. 

Ranking: 2 of 3 over IFTYE

The Man

This song was a bit deceiving upon first listen when comparing it to the article initial introducing us to the song. The Man is fun, this can be a song that you need to be in a “mood” to listen to, but when you are in the right mindset it is so fun. It is a POWER MOVE. Taylor took the satirical route with this music video which is fun. The imagery that I’ve always had for this song is showing woman in the work place, feeling defeated, showing their rise to power and their accomplishments and be coming this boss ass confident bitch. Taking the movement forward that woman are capable of anything. I could see it in black in white, it would be cool if some of the imagery was from actual people doing their jobs or photos of them all standing together posing - wow. 

Ranking: 2 of 4 over Lover

The Archer

I don’t like this song. When it comes to Taylor, I feel like any song that I dislike I can tell you how I would change it. For this song I wish there was a bigger instrumental build, I feel like some of the lyrics sounded awkward, cruelty sounded like cruel - tea, which makes it sound like she’s using internet slang, nose cut off line - I feel like there was another way, or a more subtle metaphor that could be used to mention disliking yourself or your appearance. Stand alone I do like the bridge and the final chorus.

Ranking: 5 of 5 over IFTYE

I Think He Knows

A fun song, I mix up this song and I forgot that you existed, but this is the clear winner. My criticism of this song is the line "bless my soul” sound like she’s say “ow my toe” and I wish that the bridge was sung in a different rhythm and not monotone. 

Ranking: 4 of 6 over IFTYE

Miss Americana & The Heart Break Prince

Sonically this is one of my favorite songs to listen to. I feel like this song is difficult to rank because I feel like it’s not a song you just listen casually. You are either paying attention to the beat or you are listening to the story that she is telling you. And then the story that she tells is not one that is relatable, making it a song that is less likely going to be on repeat. 

Ranking: 3 of 7 over Lover

Paper Rings

I would like this song more if I was a bigger fan of this style of music, but she does a good job at executing it. I don’t like the weed reference. I like how specific she is in this song (sometimes certain lines can be too specific).

Ranking: hmmmm this song is better than I think he knows but I am also more likely to listen to I think he knows

4 of 8 over Lover

lover and I think he knows are both songs that I like but there’s something I would like to change about the song aka. I don’t like it as much as I say. But besides the lyrics of the opening line I think this is a solid song.

Cornelia Street

The best song on the album. I hate that I have something to say on the production of each song... but I just don’t like the sound of electronic noises as much as I like the sound of pure instruments with a little reverb or mild alternations on them. There is nothing bad about this song, it’s just if we wanted to make it even more amazing it would would have more strings, and less electronic music on it. With that said I like the effect of flipping through slides at the end of the song. But this song has the same feel as all too well and enchanted which in this era is to die for. 

Ranking: 1 of 9 over Cruel Summer

Death By A Thousand Cuts

This song has so many things going on, it makes my head confused. Sometimes I like it and sometimes I’m like???? The bridge goes hard. This song being associate with something great makes sense but also makes me like it a little less, that movie was overrated and not my cup of tea, I didn’t finish it. 

Ranking: 4 of 10 over Miss Americana

London Boy

I always compare this song to paper rings, this album is still knew enough that sometimes I need to listen to the song to differentiate them. Ironically I feel like they should’ve stuck with electronic feel but they needed to add one or two more layer. This song is average. Any of of Taylor’s songs where I’m interested in the lyrics means it ranks higher than others. 

Ranking: 9 of 11 over IFTYE

Soon You’ll Get Better

I don’t feel like it is appropriate to comment on this song. What I will say is I’m so happy Taylor was able to make this song for her mom. I am praying for Andrea and the Swift’s …This song has grown on me, it is an intense song which most likely would not listen to on repeat unless you are sad. 

Ranking: 6 of 12 over Paper Rings

False God

This song is flawless, except for the line “They all warned us about times like this/They say the road gets hard and you get lost” in the prechorus, it sounds a bit off, I think I would like it better if she enunciated it more.

Ranking: 3 of 13 over The Man

You Need To Calm Down

So the singles…it’s an ear word, it’s catchy, it’ll be fun in concert. The music video is fun to watch, but this song can also be annoying and the lyrics are not her best, but I also think that she knew exactly what she was doing when she wrote this and released it as a single and I respect that.

sonically its better than so

Ranking: 9 of 14 over London Boy

Afterglow

Since this is at the end of the album I can forget how good this song is because I don’t always get to it depending on how much time I have. 

Ranking: 2 of 15 over Cruel Summer

ME!

I really do not understand why this is here in the tracklist????I- … see the thing is taylor and her team are very systematic when they pick the first single and at this point I know it won’t be my favorite. Lyrically is it my favorite no, but sonically it is very soothing, the instruments and the way she sings it. So I would say, yes I like this song, but I wish it wasn’t the lead single *sweats from stress.* I do really like the music video I think was over top and really fun, but again, why the lead single. 

Ranking: 6 of 16 over Miss Americana and the Heart Break Prince 

It’s Nice To Have A Friend

This song has grown on me, but it’s still a midtier song, this is a song that’s good later at night or on a slow day. The imagery for this song is only one that I think would be good if it was aimed for kids because I think of claymation. 

Ranking: 11 of 17 over You Need To Calm Down.

Daylight

This infamous question, do I prefer afterglow or daylight? Afterglow.

Ranking: 5 of 18

~Lover Ranking~

Cornelia Street

Afterglow

Cruel Summer

The Man

Death by a Thousand Cuts

ME!

Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince

Paper Rings

Lover

I Think He Knows

It’s Nice To Have A Friend

You Need To Calm Down

London Boy

I Forgot That You Existed 

The Archer

[gen-is-gone]

Hey so, I hate to be the person to drag drama into a small and mostly pretty decent fandom with very little of it, but you know what would be fucking fantastic? If people in tumblr WicDiv fandom could stop fucking calling Amaterasu straight. Please, do a rando on the internet a favor and just fucking stop.

Before folks start getting righteously indignant and come to me with eighty different reasons why bi erasure is okay if it’s Ammy, hear me out:

IT’S STILL BI ERASURE. Amaterasu, you might say, has called herself straight, and only kissed/slept with girls while drunk. To which I reply, no, Amaterasu called herself “boring” and later explicitly pointed out “prefer guys” =/= “only attracted to guys”. She called herself “the boring one. I’m sooo boring” while the magical equivalent of high on E, and here’s something for you, has only ever shown on-page attraction to women. Pretty weird that such a large portion of fandom would’ve decided that an ambiguous, out of context statement a character said once outweighs multiple instances of textual sapphic attraction, huh?

Another argument then, perhaps? Amaterasu was unwilling to go down on Sakhmet, therefore she’s obviously only faking attraction for attention/”experimenting”/not-really-bi. Here’s a thought: attempting to rationalize policing of a character’s (or worse, actual person’s!) sexual/romantic orientation via what sexual experience they have or what sex acts they are comfortable with, is a really fucking ugly, biphobic thing to do. No better, in fact, than declaring that a man who is uninterested in anal sex must not really be bi, because everyone knows that’s what mlm attraction is all about. Cunnilingus, and any given woman’s interest in/comfort level with it, is but one small facet of a world of wonderful ways in which to be a sapphic woman.

And for the last, and I suspect, most salient of arguments in favor of calling a queer woman straight, Amaterasu is a piece of shit.

This is 100% true. Hazel Greenaway is an over-privileged, spoiled, cruel, self-obsessed, thoughtless, unrepentant racist. Her behavior particularly in Imperial Phase is almost calculated to hit just about everyone’s buttons in some way at some point, and make us all boil over with rage and cringe in resigned disgust at every new word that comes out of her mouth. She wore out her welcome at the end of IP1, and by this last issue I don’t think there’s a single reader who doesn’t at least briefly harbor the thought that she got what she deserved.

But here’s the thing: there is no moral litmus test for queerness. My fondness for Ammy had like most people’s, diminished down to nearly nothing by the time she died. I don’t particularly identify with her, and yeah, in WicDiv, if not most media, we’re not exactly hurting for mga rep. But within the past month or so, I’ve seen a flurry of snide comments and derisive not-quite-jokes about how much of a straight girl Amaterasu is, how predictably like “that kind of straight girl”, how she’s “curious” in comparison to out queer characters. And every single fucking comment feels like a slap in the face from an otherwise friendly fandom.

Guess what? Orientation and attraction are not inherently moral. There is obvious merit to calling attention to queer virtue, to the beauty and power and strength of our people, in response to centuries of being told we’re all degenerate and sick, disgusting and unholy. But just as straightness is no sign of either good or evil, so too is a woman-loving-woman inherently a good person. Amaterasu isn’t exactly an aberration among wealthy white queers either, as the many blatant and highly public instances of racism and antisemitism on display at Pride this year can attest.

Positive representation is diverse. If she were the only character to express same gender attraction in WicDiv, I’d have a whole different set of beefs, and with the text, rather than the interpreters. But she’s not, and she has a specific place and role within the larger narrative. Saying out loud that Amaterasu is bi does not, in fact, erase or ignore or forgive her cultural appropriation or her passive aggressive cruelty. It is, in fact, possible for her to be attracted to women, uncomfortable with performing specific sex acts, semi-closeted or nervous about coming out of the closet, and still be a hideously bad person. These qualities are not mutually exclusive. Her having human moments of sympathetic interaction adds human complexity to her character, but it doesn’t actually dismiss her many, many flaws. Acting as though queer characters are only ever good, and characters who are not good can thus not possibly be queer, strips huge layers of nuance out of analysis of a highly nuanced text. Plus, you know, it’s pretty fucking textbook bi erasure, and (unintentionally I’m sure) viciously biphobic. 

*Sigh* And before everyone chimes in to tell me how they’re bi and they don’t think Ammy is and they’re perfectly comfortable calling her straight, please. Don’t. Don’t bother pointing at “Curiosity” as the interstitial in 28, don’t bother to give me whatever you think Gillen meant by that or your own personal experiences of straight girls breaking your heart while pretending to be bi. I am pointing out a Thing, and honestly no, I can’t actually stop you from doing or saying whatever the hell you want. But it is a Thing, and worth pointing out. And having seen three separate posts in two days make that kind of snide comment, and having had one day honestly kind of ruined by that (yes, I do blow things epically out proportion and fixate on the negative, why do you ask?) and my heart start fucking racing over it, I’d just. Like to get this off my chest, you know?

My apologies; this is barely coherent and deeply uncharitable, and I know I’m breaking my own rules of assuming good faith as often as possible, but I’ve had my blood pressure skyrocket over a casual comment in a tumblr post one too many times in an already ridiculous and aggravating week, so here you all go.

[xivu-arath]

do vit (and also avari and m'ri if you want to do multiples)

vit

➥ What is your character’s full name?: vitnako➥ When were they born?: 3657 BBY➥ What are their parent’s names?: jor, faine➥ Do they have any brothers or sisters?: yes, several siblings - he doesn’t remember them very well➥ What kind of eyes do they have?: bright blue, noted to be ridiculously pretty➥ What kind of hair do they have?: none➥ What is their complexion like?: green, mainly. a lighter, pleasant shade, with dark curving marks on his lekku.➥ What body type are they?: average height and pretty sturdy in build. he spends a lot of his time rolling around to get to cover, that builds a surprising amount of muscle➥ What is listening to their voice like?: warm, pleasant, engaging. he’s got a lot of charisma and does his best to use it most of the time➥ What do they hate most about themselves?: that he left his family behind to get to freedom. that’s... something that still preys on him, all this time. ➥ Do they have a favorite quote?: listen I’ve got three of these to go through and I don’t wanna take time searching for quotes so➥ What sort of music do they enjoy?: the more bass the better. he likes to pick really obnoxiously loud tracks to annoy corso.➥ Have/would they ever cheat(ed) on a partner?: he’s been casual about relationships in the past and it’s Possible but he also doesn’t like hurting people he’s fond of so...➥ Have they been cheated on by a partner?: nope➥ Have they ever lost someone close to them?: yep - his entire family. he was the only one that had the opportunity to leave hutta and he didn’t have time to try and get his siblings or his parents to come with him. ➥ What is their favorite sound?: the particular (and memorable and slightly clunky) sound of his starship’s engines firing up➥ Are they judgmental of others?: he... genuinely tries not to be. being judgmental causes too many problems. but he’s always a little wary of anyone too zealously attached to a faction or cause➥ Have they ever been drunk?: many times! he’s a chatty but harmless enough drunk➥ What are they like when they stay up all night?: a little less pleasant to talk to, more impatient and inclined to complain. he likes getting sleep, okay➥ Have they ever been arrested?: ahahaha so many times➥ What evokes strong memories for them?: thick, damp air that’s tinged with gas - it reminds him of hutta and quesh is a Not Fun Time for him either➥ What do they do on rainy days?: stay inside, play sabacc, go drinking, hang around and look for jobs on the holonet➥ What religion are they?: he’s an atheist➥ What word do they overuse the most?: “totally”➥ What do they wear to bed?: underwear and a blaster➥ Do they have any tattoos or piercings?: he’s got a small tattoo on the back of his neck - a stylized starmap➥ What type of clothing are they most comfortable in?: his usual outfit tbh - loose, sturdy clothes and a good jacket➥ What is their most disliked food?: anything with beans tbh➥ Do they have any enemies?: currently rogun the butcher and the voidwolf but his enemies tend to be the enemies of whoever’s hiring him➥ What does their writing look like?: blocky and painstaking. he learned writing later in life.➥ What disgusts them?: slavery, xenophobia, restrictive rules, bureaucracy, Force persuasion, hypocrisy 

avari

➥ What is your character’s full name?: avari simra thesia➥ When were they born?: 1994➥ What are their parent’s names?: yumi, victor➥ Do they have any brothers or sisters?: none➥ What kind of eyes do they have?: dark blue➥ What kind of hair do they have?: straight, dull black. she keeps it at chin-length➥ What is their complexion like?: clear and unmarred. she’s very clearly of east asian descent➥ What body type are they?: average height, thin and wiry➥ What is listening to their voice like?: her voice is quiet and cool. she’s good at feigning emotion and making it sound more engaging but on her own she sounds... flat and distant, just short of apathetic➥ What do they hate most about themselves?: that she always ends up making bad decisions and fixates so much on safety. she’s not a good person.➥ Do they have a favorite quote?: --➥ What sort of music do they enjoy?: electronica as a whole, especially downtempo➥ Have/would they ever cheat(ed) on a partner?: partners are Fake➥ Have they been cheated on by a partner?: see above➥ Have they ever lost someone close to them?: she lost her parents when she was a kid➥ What is their favorite sound?: rain falling outside, old computers booting up➥ Are they judgmental of others?: on occasion. she’s not inclined to care much➥ Have they ever been drunk?: a few times but she doesn’t like the idea of losing her inhibitions, so she avoids most alcohol➥ What are they like when they stay up all night?: p much normal. she pulls a lot of allnighters➥ Have they ever been arrested?: memorably➥ What evokes strong memories for them?: humid rainforests, sudden wingbeats, a very specific song➥ What do they do on rainy days?: browse the internet tbh➥ What religion are they?: atheist➥ What word do they overuse the most?: “well then”➥ What do they wear to bed?: underwear➥ Do they have any tattoos or piercings?: no➥ What type of clothing are they most comfortable in?: casual clothing, honestly➥ What is their most disliked food?: eggplant➥ Do they have any enemies?: y e s➥ What does their writing look like?: neat cursive but she can actually write in a number of styles➥ What disgusts them?: blatant ambition, cruelty and violence for no reason, naive optimism

m’ri

➥ What is your character’s full name?: morrigan➥ When were they born?: 27 years ago...➥ What are their parent’s names?: moira, delyn➥ Do they have any brothers or sisters?: an older sister➥ What kind of eyes do they have?: dark brown - so dark they’re almost black. ➥ What kind of hair do they have?: long wavy black hair➥ What is their complexion like?: dark skin, a little scarred and spotted by now➥ What body type are they?: somewhat short, slender➥ What is listening to their voice like?: quiet and calm, very understated. she tends to come off as softspoken and polite ➥ What do they hate most about themselves?: how... isolated and stubbornly naive she was when she was young.➥ Do they have a favorite quote?: --➥ What sort of music do they enjoy?: calm instrumentals tbh but she’s also fond of weird eerie industrial soundscapes like. what the fuck m’ri➥ Have/would they ever cheat(ed) on a partner?: no➥ Have they been cheated on by a partner?: no???➥ Have they ever lost someone close to them?: she’s rather. inured to loss.➥ What is their favorite sound?: harp strings, distant wind, the low rumble tytureth makes when he’s happy for five seconds➥ Are they judgmental of others?: no, but tytureth is and is happy to share them with her➥ Have they ever been drunk?: she’s a lightweight and tytureth got Uneasy the first time she got drunk and. they’d rather not repeat it➥ What are they like when they stay up all night?: even more softspoken. this tends to hold until her patience wears thin and she suddenly breaks out a really cutting tone and a demand to be left alone➥ Have they ever been arrested?: nah➥ What evokes strong memories for them?: the heat of the hatching sands➥ What do they do on rainy days?: look after her weaponry and riding gear, read, take naps➥ What religion are they?: atheist➥ What word do they overuse the most?: if anyone could overuse ellipsed silence, it’d be m’ri➥ What do they wear to bed?: a nightshirt and loose pants➥ Do they have any tattoos or piercings?: she has a single earring➥ What type of clothing are they most comfortable in?: riding leathers, leather armour in general➥ What is their most disliked food?: anything sour tbh➥ Do they have any enemies?: not really? tytureth sure does tho➥ What does their writing look like?: a neat but very cramped hand➥ What disgusts them?: waste of people or resources, traitors, hedonism. she also really hates gossip, especially when it’s used to harm

[moderncolors]

How to Start a Modern Bohemian Clothing Business Online Guest post by Tomas Smith with Sewport.com Are you interested in launching a bohemian clothing line? First, it's important for you to keep in mind that bohemianism is a lifestyle rather than a fashion trend. Bohemians desire exquisite and beautiful things, especially in their clothing so it is important your designs and textiles are bold and irresistibly unique.  While starting a clothing line can be time-consuming, it'll come with great satisfaction.  Here are some ways on how to start a clothing business. ► Decide on Your Niche Since starting a clothing line is a personal decision, it's likely that you have a vision in mind for your target audience. Whatever your reason for starting a business, it's important to define your niche. Do you have a certain bohemian style or design in mind for your clothing line? Casual Bohemian businesswear? Sporty bohemian activewear? Affordable bohemian wedding dresses, menswear, baby clothes, etc? It could also become a clothing business that's addressing a particular need such as eco-friendly or cruelty-free clothing. Get to know your niche and keep it in mind, even if you want to include other designs as time goes on, your original concept will establish your brand. It'll provide you with a guiding principle, heritage, and a reason why people should purchase it. ► Create a Business Plan You're also going to need a business plan. This will provides you with an outline and overview of your business. The overview is known as the executive summary while the outline determines how your clothing line will start, grow, and expand. As part of your analysis efforts, you need to understand the target market and its competitors. Your business plan should be concrete, data-oriented, and something that can be done with external sources. You can also provide your opinion on what's going on with the current market. In your outline, you should include each of your employee's roles in the business unless it's just you. You should also include details for advertising, branding, marketing, sales, and operations. Whoever gets to read your business plan will have money on the mind. You need to finish your plan with an outline of your clothing line's financial position, possible investments, and priorities for growth.  ► Create a Budget When coming up with a budget, it's important to keep things simple. Starting with just one design is easier trying to launch with an extensive product catalog. It's also important to have a budget in mind, and determine how you're going to spend that money, along with your goal. You may not be aware of the price of materials and manufacturing costs. Having a budget in mind will allow you to make smart business decisions that will impact your sales. Your budget is also dependant on whether you'll decide to design the clothes yourself or through a manufacturer. No matter what you decide, start off small; use basic tools or small designers and then you can change them as demand grows. amzn_assoc_placement = "adunit0"; amzn_assoc_tracking_id = "mocotw-20"; amzn_assoc_ad_mode = "manual"; amzn_assoc_ad_type = "smart"; amzn_assoc_marketplace = "amazon"; amzn_assoc_region = "US"; amzn_assoc_linkid = "d4da977fd2f9737cb59502da167c9536"; amzn_assoc_design = "in_content"; amzn_assoc_asins = "1095602837,198651921X,0470747056,B01F1UA5TE"; amzn_assoc_title = " "; ► Make a Pattern As previously mentioned, you should start with one design. You want to make sure that you like this design before moving forward. Which piece do you want to start out with? A blouse? A skirt? A jacket? Which fabric do you want to use for that piece? Choose one design and create a pattern for it. You can create a pattern yourself or have your manufacturer create the pattern for you. Most manufacturers provide a pattern or sample. If you're working with a manufacturer, sketch the design and include the details that you want. Be as detailed as you can when it comes to your vision and design. ►Create Your Designs The most exciting part of starting a clothing line is the product development process. Once you have your sketch, you can turn that rough idea into digital sketches. A software program like Adobe Illustrator can do the work for you. Once the sketch is done, you need to convey the information to your manufacturer. This includes the item's details and specifications. This can range from accessories to features or designs to measurements. Then, you'll need to focus on grading and pattern making, so you're ahead of your manufacturer. amzn_assoc_placement = "adunit0"; amzn_assoc_tracking_id = "mocotw-20"; amzn_assoc_ad_mode = "manual"; amzn_assoc_ad_type = "smart"; amzn_assoc_marketplace = "amazon"; amzn_assoc_region = "US"; amzn_assoc_linkid = "d4da977fd2f9737cb59502da167c9536"; amzn_assoc_design = "in_content"; amzn_assoc_asins = "1300577584,B00AU8DOB4,1119420407,1118639715"; amzn_assoc_title = " "; ►Find a Garment Manufacturer Now it's time to find a garment manufacturer. Sewport CEO Boris Hodakel says your best source to find manufacturers is the internet. Contact the top 5 to 10 results and find out their minimum order requirements and how much a sample costs. If you don't want to start with a large volume, then choose a manufacturer that doesn't require minimum orders. Bohemians love ethnic textiles and patterns and finding a garment maker to create your items using those materials might bring up the idea of outsourcing; but outsourcing brings up ethical and human rights concerns that you might not be able to see yourself because the clothing is being made so far away. Issues like low pay and poor work environments plague are rampant in many countries so it is highly recommended you find a local manufacturer so you can check in to ensure the quality of your clothing and their working conditions. Search for local manufacturers and facilities that you're interested in working with; this will also save on shipping costs and time. For more information about how neglectful some garment producers can be please read the Wikipedia article, 2013 Dhaka Garment Factory Collapse. America has artisans from all over the globe, so if you're desiring authentic ethnic textiles, I'm sure you can find them right in the good old US of A. ► Bring it to the Market Congratulations! Now it's time to bring your product to the market. It's time to focus on selling your product. There are several factors you need to face before shipping that first item. During this time, you should consider how you'll create an online store, market your brand, price your products, and ship your products. This information may be already included in your business plan, but it's best to go over these details before you focus on full-scale production. Whatever route you decide for your clothing line, it's about taking the first step. There are several ways to launch your clothing line but since you'll never stop learning, the best step is to go for it. Are you interested in writing for my blog? Please visit this post for blog post submission info! _____________ You might also enjoy these other posts! Find Your Tribe! 60+ Hashtags for Bohemian/Hippie Bloggers and Business Owners The Ultimate Guide to Extreme Frugality How to Live Frugally in Luxury Like a Bohemian ______________ amzn_assoc_placement = "adunit0"; amzn_assoc_tracking_id = "mocotw-20"; amzn_assoc_ad_mode = "manual"; amzn_assoc_ad_type = "smart"; amzn_assoc_marketplace = "amazon"; amzn_assoc_region = "US"; amzn_assoc_linkid = "d4da977fd2f9737cb59502da167c9536"; amzn_assoc_asins = "1438011075,1441311726,9332518114,0811877884,B00BIVP9II,1468315935,1118143825,1438011555"; amzn_assoc_title = "My Amazon Picks"; amzn_assoc_search_bar = "true";

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