#(can't believe she has a medical degree)

[gxlden-angels]

Love when fundamentalist christians call other fundamentalist christians a cult like I can accept telling children they'll go to hell if they don't hug the parent that spanked them and smile, but I draw the line at suggesting barcodes contain the mark of the beast

[misc-obeyme]

Hello! :D

I simply can't stop thinking about Barbatos being insanely attracted and so deeply in love with MC that he don't make the effort to hide it anymore, but the problem is: MC doesn't actually think that he feels that way.

(I'm using female pronouns for better explanation, pardon my english 😔🫶)

Like, MC lives with many ancient and immortal beings who have lived for many many centuries and she is only a human who lived for a few years. In mc's conception, she doesn't see a reason why any of them would be attracted to mc in any way, so she just lives peacefully with them, not really expecting any romantic approach.

Mc and barbatos have a friendship, and mc is attracted to Barbatos (who isn't really?), but doesn't do anything about it. Kinda like the attraction you feel towards your favorite idol, you don't really make a move, but you wish you could get married.

Barbatos notices and kinda feels the same way, sending discreet signals when they were together. He finds it strange, because he sees her obvious interest in him, but doesn't do anything about it.

As time passes, Barbs feelings grow stronger and he grows frustrated and is determined to show MC his interest, his discreet moves now are obvious (only when they were alone bc its barb, cmon). When mc is talking he is just staring at her with such lovestruck eyes, blinking slowly and repliying to her in a flirty way. Mc only grows more and more flustered, not making any moves still.

It gets worse in a degree that once barbatos corners her against a wall and stares deeply at her soul, saying something bluntly urging her to do something since he knew she wasnt oblivious to the situation. Maybe in a teasing way, maybe serious.

I dont know if my ideas came out clear and I honestly think I'm a little lightheaded bc of anti-allergy meds, but this plot has been haunting my mind and I had to tell someone. Stay safe!! 🫶🫶🫶

Hi there, anon! While I'm a little concerned about medications making you lightheaded (like omg please rest and I hope you feel better soon!), I do think I understand what you're trying to say!

Because ahhh Barbatos he's so reserved. When I wrote my long fic, there's kind of a theme where the MC character doesn't believe that Barbatos returns their feelings. It's the cause of much angst and anguish, especially in the later chapters.

I think this is because Barbatos doesn't really express his feelings all that much. He's always calm and collected. He doesn't really get worked up about much of anything. Even when he's mad, it's like hidden behind a smile. The only time we really see him get truly angry is with Solomon in Nightbringer. (I mean there may have been other times but that's the only time I can remember.)

Anyway, I love the idea that he finally picks up on MC's feelings and realizes he has to start being more expressive with his own feelings. I kinda think he might realize that he only has so much time with MC, assuming they're still mortal. Like he's gonna hafta do something because time is short!

I personally am very fond of Barb being a tease, so I like the idea of him kinda teasing MC about it at first. But eventually he's going to get serious. If he thought MC really didn't understand how he feels and wasn't picking up on his teasing and maybe couldn't respond for some reason, he would choose to get serious and direct with them.

So yes, I think this is a delightful scenario and I am always rooting for Barbatos to confess his true love to MC lol!

[copperbadge]

Radio Free Monday

Good morning everyone, and welcome to Radio Free Monday!

Ways to Give:

oloriel linked to a fundraiser for Sean, who is close to his $5K fundraising goal for a liver transplant; he needs a healthier environment to live in once he has the transplant and they're raising the funds for a new place and at least some partial furnishings. You can read more and support the fundraiser here.

gwydion's very elderly car broke down in late October; the repair, to a cooling hose, has cheap parts but expensive labor, and ate most of zir budget for the month. Ze can't do without a car, being disabled, but can't afford to replace it either; ze's raising $280 to help cover bills and the repair. You can give via PayPal here.

nivchara-yahel and her sibling rivalconga are raising money for rent, medicine, and living expenses; they need to pay November rent by the 10th to avoid eviction. You can read more, reblog, and find giving information here.

Anon linked to a fundraiser for The Environmental Conservancy of North Port, Florida, who are trying to raise $14K to purchase a parcel of land that will protect a group of gopher tortoise burrows from being forcibly relocated, which could stress or kill the tortoises, a threatened but keystone species in Florida (their burrows are often home to numerous other species). You can read more and support the fundraiser here.

Buy Stuff, Help Out:

francescaswords is dealing with some worsening health issues which are preventing her from working as she completes her degree, which has had funding cut because she's dropped to a part-time student. She's raising funds by sharing her latest novel, the YA contemporary fantasy Rotting Trees, on Patreon between now and December 2024, where patrons can read the book in installments for as low as $1.50/month. The novel follows a girl with a cursed family necklace and the antiques shop she visits to try to break the curse. You can read more and reblog here or��join the Patreon here.

Recurring Needs:

rusty-chevy is very close to her fundraising goal after her work cut her hours and thus her ability to cover bills from her reduced paycheck; she's hoping for one final push to reach goal. You can read more, reblog, and find giving information here.

gwydion linked to a fundraiser for Squirrel, a good friend who has recently lost his job and needs to raise about $800 to cover bills and food; Squirrel has had a lot of interviews and believes he will have an offer but won't start work until December. You can give via paypal here.

rilee16 is raising funds to cover November rent and possible late fees after an aggressive roommate hiked their utility bills; Rilee is now sick and also needs to be able to pay to have medication delivered. You can read more, reblog, and find giving information here.

And this has been Radio Free Monday! Thank you for your time. You can post items for my attention at the Radio Free Monday submissions form. If you're new to fundraising, you may want to check out my guide to fundraising here.

[natjennie]

it's so important to me that alison and mike are, in every sense, the beating heart of the show because. it would be so easy for the ghosts to be the focal point, and they are, to a degree.

but it would be incredibly simple for them to be silly goofy and alison be the no-nonsense wrangler of these dead jokesters, but she's NOT. and they're not. no one in the show is one dimensional, they're all so deeply I mean. human. and flawed and complete characters like. alison is as crazy as the rest of them, as weird and goofy and funny and emotional and dimensional as any of them. she can't cook to save her life and she likes christmas music and pantomimes and they play headbands in the car and she bribes construction workers and she's clumsy and weird and silly.

and mike!! it would make so much sense to be like oh these wild ghosts and their weird human and her stick in the mud husband who can't see them but he's SO multifaceted and important I mean. he supports alison and takes care of her in a physical, medical sense, is concerned for her well-being when she starts seeing them but, he believes her. he believes her and buys in so quickly, he consults the ghost board and he asks about them and he checks who's in the room and he tries to talk to them and he's jealous and sad that his wife has a family he can't directly interact with but he tries anyway! he asks if pat likes his present and he thanks julian for pushing record and he helps move the couch outside so they can celebrate the moon and he crosses his arms and puts on a stern face when alison scolds them.

they're just all so deeply connected and the story would not be the same without alison and mike being exactly as silly and human as they are.

[hollowwhisperings]

Naminé & Roxas Are Twins

(this meta was inspired by @violethowler's Constructing Kingdoms series on YT)

In KH2, the relationship between Sora & Roxas is seemingly paralleled with that of Naminé & Kairi. It is explained by characters in-game that Naminé, a Nobody, must have been created by Kairi's presence in Sora's Heart during KH1. Thusly is it concluded that Naminé must be the Nobody of Kairi, another facet of that Princess of Heart.

Except... Kairi is a Princess of Heart: a being of pure light, without any Darkness of her own. It is physically impossible for Naminé to be Kairi's Nobody.

At no point has Kairi exhibited the capacity to hold Darkness. Kairi's lack of Darkness is, arguably, one of the major reasons for her lack of combat prowess: without "darkness" of her own, Kairi is unable to feel the selfishness needed to hurt others. This is a small, fundamental kind of Darkness that all living things carry: without it, a Princess of Heart is all too essily incapacitated by selflessness.

Naminé isn't (can't) be Kairi's Nobody: she, like Roxas, is a Nobody of Sora & Ventus. Naminé and Roxas are twins.

Roxas and Naminé are unlike any other Nobody within the KH setting: they alone were capable of developing "selfhood", independently from their Hearts of origin. This is due to the many unique circumstances of their birth: Sora's self-sacrifice in KH1. That event featured multiple oddities likely to affect Sora's Heart, Heartless & the Nobodies created: self-sacrifice (love); heartlessness via keyblade; the specific keyblade used (the Keyblade of [People's] Hearts); the origin of said keyblade (Riku the ???, the person Sora likely loved most at the time); the presence of Kairi, a Princess of Heart, within Sora's Heart; the presence of Ventus, an artificial "Princess of Heart"; the location of the sacrifice (Ansem's Lab in Hollow Bastion, a World fallen to Darkness)... and likely even more factors, known & as yet unaddressed.

As twin Nobodies to Sora's Heartless, Roxas & Naminé were affected by all variables noted above. Sora has been the Host of several Hearts for his entire life: that makes him special, even before Riku chose Sora to be a keyblade wielder. I venture that the Heart most relevant to Naminé's birth was not Kairi's but Ven's: for where Roxas most resembles Sora in disposition, Naminé resembles Ventus-without-Vanitas. Kairi's presence within Sora's Heart had effects, yes, but less than perhaps understood.

The misunderstanding, I argue, comes largely from Kairi's longterm role of "Designated Female": as the lone KH-original female for much of KH's early development (& popularity), Kairi is often considered a "default option" with regards to all things feminine. This feeds not only into assumptions of a Kairi-focused love triangle but also into an overinflation of Kairi's presence in the story.

As with Xion, Naminé's true identity is obscured, in-game & within fandom, by her gender: "Xion & Naminé are female; the only female in proximity to this plotline is Kairi: Xion & Naminé must therefors be derivative personas of Kairi".

Here, as always, Kairi serves as a convenient "default" of femininity, misdirecting players and characters from the queer potential within KH. It is wholly believed, by Sora & the girls in question, that Naminé was Kairi's Nobody. Yet, it is never Kairi whose story and character is most expanded by Naminé's involvement: Naminé's story is, instead, a follow-up to that of BBS's Ventus.

Kairi struggles with a forgotten past, loss & a resistance to change (of "growing up"). Naminé, in parallel & in contrast, experiences the kind of life that Kairi has forgotten: [medical abuse], extortion & isolation. Naminé's time with Organization XIII & with DiZ mirrors that of VEN's with Master Xehanort (&, to a lesser degree, with Master Eraqus).

Kairi's history as a test subject of Xehanort &, possibly, of Ansem the Wise? She's forgotten it and, outside of Melody of Memories, we never get to see how it affected her.  Kairi's Ambiguously Traumatic Past is only ever used for her in her role as "MacGuffin" (i.e. an object of plot importance & no other story-relevant function, one that is ultimately interchangeable with). Kairi's story barely affects Naminé's & Naminé's doesn't affect Kairi's either: the characters most changed by Naminé's character arc were Sora & Riku. This further alludes to Naminé not truly originating from Kairi's Darkness but from Sora-Ven.

The duality of Sora-Ven is reflected in Sora's producing two distinct ("twin") Nobodies during KH1. Roxas is most reflective of Sora but physically looks like Ventus; Naminé is most reminiscent of Ventus-without-Vanitas but (allegedly) "looks like Kairi": this does not occur in the Nobodies of other hybrid-beings, as evident in Xemnas (Terra & Xehanort) & Xigbar (Braig & Luxu). In this way, Naminé & Roxas are more akin to Xion than most every other Nobody.

Ignoring the gender binaries (canonically used & assumed in-universe), the characters that Naminé actually resembles are Ventus (who I propose as Naminé's "primary" origin) & Xion (another artificial being with Sora Origins).

Narratively & thematically, Naminé's arc from CoM to KH2 was a continuation of Ven's story in Birth By Sleep. Both characters are strongly tied to themes of isolation, abusive authority figures, and artificial life. While other characters - Xion, Repliku & Terra-Xehanort - also explore these themes, Kairi notably does not.

I will note that Naminé does not NEED to be Kairi's Nobody to act as her narrative foil: I just find that identifying Naminé with Kairi is buying into the very same (false) Binaric Gender Roles that CoM, Days & (to a lesser extent) BBS sought to poke holes in. Tiny, easily mistranslated-into-nonexistence holes but holes nonetheless. Attempting to conflate Naminé with Kairi is to give the latter character more narrative presence than she truly has, in an effort to reconcile the two together beyond "similarly aged females in proximity to KH's plot".

[asmoteeth]

Sharing this gofundme in here because Tiktok absolutely SUCKS with things like this

Full story under cut but you can read it in the petition biography, along with photography proof of this gofundme veracity

I am Hasan Alaloul, I'm reaching out to you on behalf of My Family currently in Gaza, which suffered and still suffering since the previous war on 2021, when the Israelians attacked our house for the first time and killed my father Dr Mooein Al-Aloul الله يرحمه , and my mother and my little sister were seriously injuired as they were in the same room with my father. At this point my mother and sister were totally homeless and we spend the last two years in treatment my mother and sister, and rebuild our house. We finished rebuild the house just six months before the genocide 2023 started, and again our beloved house attacked for the second time; bombed again and completly destroyed in this war.

Between 2021 and 2023, my mother stayed with my brother and his family at his house, stand it between treatment and rebuilding the house. And my sister travel to Turkey for treatment and while there she started studying master degree as she believed that personal growth was the best way to move forward.

Aya -my little sister- suffers from severe burn injuries in her face and hands, and she was supposed to continue her treatment in Turkey and to graduate in February with a master degree in International Business but her dreams has shattered and now she is fighting just to survive another day with my mother and the rest of my family, they have escaped bombings on several occasions, and were displaced five times; it’s a miracle they are still alive until now!!

On April 2023, before the start of the genocide, we had finished rebuild our house and my mother stayed only six months at the house!! Then she came to visit me and my family, and thats when I saw her for the first time after 6 years, and my sister was very excited to see the house after completing it’s rebuild so they returned to Gaza on Septemper; just two weeks before the genocide started, she want to stay with my mother for few weeks in Gaza and they were planning to travel together to Turkey in December 2023 so that my sister could finish her last master semester.

But the Genocide started and turned this story to ashes, this war turned reality, future, dreams and hopes into ashes. Turned life into a Tent.

We survived the first time but this war literally destroyed everything and left my whole family grappling with profound challenges. The recent wave of destruction has left my mother, little sister, my brother and his family and my two other sisters and thier families homeless, live in a tent, without any possessions, without basic necessities to live including (water, food, clothing, bedding and medicine) and without any hope.

I'm in a situation having all those people on my responsibilty and I can't stand lose one of them after we already lost our father due to this conflict. My immediate goal to evacuate my family to a safe place away from the ongoing war.

The funds will be used for travel through the Rafah border crossing to Egypt and essential needs such as temporary housing, food, medical care and basic necessities for my family until we can establish a more stable situation where we can begin the process of rebuilding our shattered lives again.

Every donation, will make a significant difference in helping my family rebuild their lives regardless of it's size and provide the basic necessities for my family as devastation has left them in a precarious situation.

It makes me sad to have to ask for this and ask for help but I really don't know what to do. So I thought I'd try this Gofundme since I was running out of options and I am the sole breadwinner for the family now. I know this request seems impossible but I truly believe in miracles and God always with us and can make possible that which seems impossible. Your support during this profoundly challenging time will offer us hope amid despair.

My heartfelt thanks to you for taking the time to read this and share it! Please reach out to me if you have any questions or concerns. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your kindness.

[rubykgrant]

I'm TRYING to re-think the order of some of the events in my RVB story-line, so it flows a little better as an actual plot (to be fair, the actual series would often leave the end of a season sort of up in the air, and come back with a non sequitur after a lot of time passes, so. shame on me for trying so hard, I guess). I have a lot more little details involved (I'll ramble about those below), but these are the BIG PICTURE aspects that everything else is framed around

The Interviews involve the Reds, Blues, former Freelancers, Doc, Locus, and a few friends from Chorus talking about what they've been through (with some flash-backs thrown in, showing what they aren't all telling). During the Vacations, Donut goes on a big spa-spree, the Grif sibs go back to Hawaii (without a big fuss, Kai may like the attention, but Grif doesn't want people bothering him about being the Famous Orange Soldier), Simmons tries to track down his family (he can't find them), Sarge goes back to sulk in Blood Gulch alone, Wash goes looking for the Triplets, Doc spends some time with Dr Grey and thinks about trying for a medical degree again, Lopez is allowed to just be by himself (and he's honestly kinda bored), Caboose goes back to the Moon, Tucker searches for Junior, Carolina attempts to dig up info about how deep Charon/Project Freelancer really got into all the crime BS, Locus tries to turn himself into the authorities on Chorus (being all "I deserve to die" about it) but Kimball gives him a "life sentence" of community service. Everybody misses each other, and are drawn back together like a bunch of planets caught in the same gravitational pull

-Sarge is contacted by a UNSC group that wants to give soldiers who were Sim Troopers and members of the Flag Zealots "new training", and he doesn't hesitate. He has fun with it for a while, and this is where he meets Poppy... she is how he finds out a lot of the people here were given the option "join this training program or face prison time", which really isn't much of an option at all. He thinks about how the Red VS Blue war was a lie, he thinks about Project Freelancer manipulating the agents, he thinks about Wash having a villain moment to avoid being locked-up, he thinks about Locus believing soldiers are supposed to kill without ever asking questions... and Papa Warcrimes decides he actually hates the military (it's a sign of the apocalypse!). Meanwhile, Carolina has finally gotten some leads about Charon, and she meets Junonia, who helps her find out more regarding the past and what Hargrove is still up to. Gene has also been around, trying to be a solo villain, but he's BARELY a one-man Team Rocket. Finally, the insidious purpose for all this new training is exposed, and Red Team (with their new member, Poppy) gets to have the spot-light when they fight the villain

-Everybody finally goes back to Earth together, and this time, a big celebration is held for their return. They spend most of their time out of armor on Earth, so the general public leaves them alone. Some fun shenanigans with everybody finding ways to amuse themselves (Sarge doesn't like going outside, the sky is too BLUE). Now that she knows where they are (thanks to the welcoming celebration), Tex finally catches up with everybody, revealing that when Epsilon Deconstructed, the information from his memories transferred back to the original Beta unit, reviving her. The Director had this whole plan for eventually bringing Allison back with a synthetic human body made from her DNA sample, but he could never make it "perfect" (Tex isn't an identical clone, more like a genetic "sibling" to Allison). She isn't the only one who found them; the parents Simmons went looking for finally show up (now that their son is a famous space hero). He's more than happy to get their attention, and they have him join their work at a bio-tech company (everybody else immediately recognizes the parents as a-holes, and the business as shady, but try telling Simmons that). Tex was initially hesitant to reveal the other AI Fragments were also revived, what with some left-over sore feelings regarding Sigma and Omega (Wash is ironically more willing to forgive them for everything; he wishes he had been able to do that BEFORE, instead of fighting against them as the Meta, and the whole spiral from there). Carolina talks through emotions with Sigma, and Omega compliments both Doc and O'malley for finding their back-bone. Everybody else is happy to get to know the Fragments better. Some Drama happens with the Reds, but Simmons finally sees his parents don't really care about him, and they all figure out that the bio-tech company has the original Alpha Unit hidden away. They rescue Church, who has the chance to be in his own synthetic body based on the Directors DNA (again, not identical, just similar)

-Everybody gets to CATCH THEIR BREATH, Caboose and Tucker have Church back, Church and Tex get to do people things, hooray! A distress call out there in space tricks Tucker into thinking Junior is in trouble, so he heads out to find his kid (most of the others join him, but a few stay behind because of recovering injures, etc). This turns out to be a trick, Hargrove and Temple are both being jerks. The rest of the gang arrives for a rescue, and Church has each of the Fragments assist his friends for the escape; for Hargrove, this was his attempt to test out a "new version" of scanning a mind to make his own AI (his tech is wonky, and will definitely kill people it scans). For Temple, he's under the impression that if he helps, he can have his own mind scanned, thus giving him a "recreation" of Biff from his memories. Hargrove REALLY wants people who have interacted with the AI Fragments as experiments, since he thinks there is important data to be found from minds like that. Temple just wants to kill the main group because he hates their guts, and it isn't FAIR, why do they get their dead friend back? Also, everybody finds the AI file for Sheila! When things settle down, Grif and Simmons talk, and at last they are on the same freaking page

-After the rescue, Hargove escapes again, and the group hears a distress call from Chorus. Some old problems are going on again, so they swing by to help out. Hargrove has one last-ditch effort to get what he wants in terms of AI experiments... Felix didn't just come back wrong, he came back WORSE. Well, everybody has the chance to work through some unresolved negative emotions aimed at him (Kimball, Locus, Tucker- everybody gets a stab in!). Felix wants to use his sword again, but it recognizes him as "dead". He tries to use a temple that "revives echoes" for key holders, but this just gives him a ghost of Doyle ("It was mine before it was yours"). The Echo also brings back other AI like Santa, who have been programmed to make certain events happen... while everybody tries to deal with Felix AND finally catch Hargrove for good, the Echo creates a whole third problem. At last, a group of aliens arrive, alerted by the Echo, and in the group is- Junior!

-Some happy family reunion time for Tucker and his boy. Junior explains what he's been doing for so long; he wasn't trying to avoid his father, but there are dangerous groups out there trying to kill him, and he's been hiding while also trying to save others. The strange "prophecy" about him, as well as things involving a "Great Destroyer" is indeed true (Gary admits he kind of just made up what it was about, but it really WAS real!) have become more urgent. Somebody who wants to take over and wipe-out anybody who opposes them has been targeting Junior. There are also many other half human/aliens like him, an attempt to create as many potential "prophecy children" as possible, but all were rejected by their human parents and only seen as tools by the other aliens (except for Junior, who is actually loved by his dad... even though they haven't been able to spend much time together). Another temple out in space supposedly has the power to give "continuous life", and the villain intends to use that to win. Tucker and the others try to protect Junior, but the temple doesn't work the way they all think...

-Back on Earth again, life seems to give them all a break... but unusual things begin happening. It eventually becomes clear that there are "new AI gods" toying with them (some are just playful, a few are genuinely malicious). This involves somewhat amusing, if a little annoying, shenanigans (like Wash getting turned into a cat, and a tiny 7-year-old Sarge showing up), but also very dangerous situations. Alternate time-lines and realities collide, some arguably "worst-case scenarios"

-It finally becomes necessary to confront the cause of all this. The group gets pulled into a pocket dimension where a lot of realities intersect. One AI god demands people fight for their amusement, and the winner will get to return to the "reality they want". The group really just wants weird paradox stuff to STOP. Church, Tex, and the Fragments figure out a way to keep everybody from dying, even the enemies they have to fight, until they have the chance to take on the one trying to control everything. Just when it seems like that issue is solved... Donut throws up. Weird, cosmic throw-up, like if the big-bang was a liquid. Being the one who has been traveling through time and reality the most, he's kind of absorbed a LOT of cosmic energy, and he can't control it. A big monster-transformation happens, but everybody figures out how to fix it so they can save Donut. Are we done? Are we DONE now???

-Yes. Everybody has the chance to live their lives, whatever that means for each of them. They get to be happy. Sometimes, bad things still happen, it can be difficult and unpleasant to live- but they still LIVE. Eventually, they pass on too (and that also means different things for some of them). When all is said and done, they're mostly glad they all got to be here~

[androphagy]

when i say "cis men are inherently more dangerous than cis women, trans women, and trans men" the "inherently" is because those are the cultures we're usually in when speaking on trans issues online, especially on tumblr. it is NOT BIOLOGICAL, it is centuries of sociopolitical patriarchal-dominated grooming. it's not biology that makes cisgender men "more dangerous" whatsoever it's the literal historical context of cismale entitlement being funneled through decades and decades of "you're a man so do whatever you want."

this isn't applicable to trans women and trans men because trans women lose that "privilege" the second they're anything other than Good Cis Male Archetype. femininity is punished in people who are viewed as Supposed To Be Men to all different degrees and pretending like trans women have any form of oppressive status over cis men (which is a take i've seen from terfs fairly regularly) is fucking insane. tell me what does a trans woman GAIN from putting herself out there and becoming something societally people, even other cis and trans women, will punch down on at first opportunity. she doesn't!!! she gains nothing but another target on her back!!!! trans women and transfems are seen as this nebulous "other" waiting behind every bathroom door to attack poor random cis women and children and if you can't see that and how prevalent that ideology has become eurocentrically you may just be completely out of touch beyond what i can tell you here.

trans men don't have that same context because unless they were born into a family that raised them fully in the way today's (and im speaking specifically on western/eurocentric ideals) men are raised and don't acknowledge their anatomy at all aside from positively, which is a fairly large part of misogyny, they're going to see misogyny for a good long while regardless of (if they ever do!!) passing status. and that passing privilege can be yanked out from under them if they're outed, medical misogyny is rampant no matter how masculine you look - if you still have a vagina, you will never be seen as male in the eyes of most people. trans men and the transmasculine are consistently erased, correctively raped and abused, and subjugated so they can't "identify" as male in the first place. the swept-under-the-rug-edness of this issue isn't the fault of trans women though!!!! visibility isn't a cake where it'll run out if someone takes more!!!!

the intercommunity "axis of oppression/lateral aggression" theory is specifically to pull apart internal biases surrounding the beliefs and behaviors of queers who are on varying levels of othering dependent on their own personal situations and externalization vs internalization of harm/support. for example its not calling out YOU, specifically, for being wary around people with penises; historical context, as i mentioned earlier, coupled with personal trauma and modern sociopolitical theory contribute to the unconscious bias against sharing the women's room with a trans woman regardless of how much of an ally you claim to be (as a transmasc, cis woman, newly-out transfem, etc.) it doesn't make your beliefs right in being anxious about going to the bathroom while a trans woman is in there too, but it gives you a starting place to begin to work on not having those beliefs. it is not a moral failing to have more privilege than someone else!! you can use that privilege to help them or at the very least see where they're coming from and deconstruct your own internalized bigotry!!!!

don't turn every conversation specifically about trans women's struggles into a "but all trans people --" because that's not what the post/conversation/etc is about. you can make your own post. when a trans woman is talking about how she's been affected and targeted in the bathroom by cis women and refers to them as AFAB, she's probably NOT rubbing her hands together and thinking how she's also "taking a swing" at trans men and transmascs. believe people when they say what they mean especially on a public and largely anonymous forum!!!

trans women have every reason to be afraid of cis men that people AFAB do. are there risks such as pregnancy which can increase that fear in people AFAB? yeah, absolutely. no one is arguing against that. trans women and trans men are arguing that they see bigotry and targeted aggression outside and inside the community, and the inside is on mostly personal-to-clique levels...which happens in every community regardless of it being queer focused or not. a trans woman snapping at a trans man for being entitled online isn't her saying "all trans men are like this and they're basically not even trans because they chose to be men", she's angry at the entitlement, not the trans status. she's viewing it from the extremely trodden-on status of a woman who's being attacked relentlessly for something she has no control over (just like how trans men have no control over being born with anatomically female parts!) just like how trans women can unlearn patriarchal entitlement, trans men can not internalize it and inflict it onto others with the misguided belief of that being how they're going to be seen as a man/that that's just what men do.

personally i think there's been a massive schism intentionally driven by terfs, transphobic queers, and cis people (men and women) between transmascs, transfems, trans women, and trans men because it's easier to break down communities once you sew enough discord and make everyone think no one else understands them and is out to get them at first opportunity (and my hypothesis on hyperindividualism running parallel to modern identity politics goes further into that.)

if you make everyone in the same demographic believe that the other has no way of understanding or relating to one another, then what's the point of having the community to begin with? bigoted groups -- cis, trans, conservative, leftist -- utilize that to really dig their claws in with their "divide and conquer" stratagem, and no one is exempt from being a potential transphobe because of their status of being trans.

compassion for those hurting in a system designed to hurt them will carry you so much further than getting aggro the second someone disagrees with you.

[chaosandcrimson]

no way is that BILLIE BENNETT.. they're a 38-year-old HUMAN notoriously known for being IRRATIONAL & TUMULTUOUS but there are some people who have seen them being APPROACHABLE & INSIGHTFUL. if you ask me, they remind me a lot of coffee stains on important documents, handwritten notes in the margins, and taking power naps on the couch in your office, but that could just be because they're considered the FATAL ATTRACTOR around town. just keep an eye on them & see if their true colors shine through..

I'm really gonna miss you picking fights And me falling for it screaming that I'm right And you would hide away and find your peace of mind With some indie record that's much cooler than mine

OVERVIEW

Name: Billie Andrea Bennett

Nickname(s): N/A

DOB: August 4, 2086

Age: 38

FC: Meagan Tandy

Height: 5'8"

Pronouns: She/Her

Sexuality: Bisexual

Occupation: Couples and Intimacy Therapist at Therapy Matrix

Relationship Status: Single (Closed)

[+] approachable, even-tempered, insightful [–] irrational, tumultuous, oblivious

BIOGRAPHY

Billie grew up in the lower district with her parents and siblings. The eldest of three children, she has a sister, Sam, and an adopted brother, Charlie.

Charlie was their parents' godson and was taken in by the Bennetts after his own parents passed away. Their deaths were the result of faulty medication produced by Epsilon Labs, which Billie and Charlie had also been prescribed and taken, leading to them both suffering from chronic health problems.

They joined a class action lawsuit but the payout was pitiful and nowhere near enough to cover their expenses. As much as Billie believed in the cause, between trying to get through school, working a part-time job, and suffering from chronic fatigue, she simply didn't have the time or energy to spend on activism.

Her busy schedule was also the reason why, despite having a huge crush on her friend Teddy throughout most of high school, she chose not to pursue it.

She was awarded a full-ride scholarship to a college out of state and wound up staying there after finishing her degree. She had always had a knack for getting to the root of people's issues with their relationships, and she managed to turn that into a career for herself, despite her own love life being a train wreck.

It seemed to be impossible for Billie to date someone who was an appropriate and compatible partner for her. It wasn't even she was gullible, or didn't see the glaring issues with the people she was choosing—she was painfully aware that every single one of her relationships would end badly. She simply couldn't help who she was attracted to. Decent man with a well-paying job and a nice family? Nope. Drug dealer she would have to bail out of jail every other week? Yes.

Somehow, she managed to balance her successful professional life with her chaotic personal one, but where she drew a line in the sand was inflicting her terrible taste on her family—especially after Sam adopted Ginny. She never brought her partners back with her when she came to visit DFW.

She decided to move back to the Metroplex five years ago when Sam broke things off with Taurus, getting an apartment in the lower district to be close to her family and securing a job at Therapy Matrix, where she now gets to spend four days a week trying to stop married couples from killing each other.

She is still prone to attracting wholly inappropriate partners, but she is at least less likely to pursue actual relationships with them, now that she can't simply leave them in a different city whenever she goes to see her family. She enjoys being single, and if there's also a certain tavern-owning friend from high school she's trying to sort out her feelings for, then that's nobody else's business.

MISC

She suffers from the same health problems that her little brother Charlie does. Her symptoms are milder due to having less exposure to the faulty medication, but there are a handful of things that she does to lessen the strain she puts on her body, such as work reduced hours, keep a regular sleeping schedule, etc.

[transfloridaresources]

[Video ID: An Afro-Latina trans woman, Angelique Godwin, stands at a podium in front of a supportive crowd behind her. The podium has a sign on it that reads 'Equality Florida. Censorship (crossed out) Freedom!' /End ID]

Video transcript:

Let me just start by saying, hi everyone. My name is Angelique Godwin and I am a Afro-Latina trans woman (crowd cheers) not only living in Florida but leading the way for my people and my community - and not just the trans community, but every single letter in the LGBTQIA+ community.

I will not be feared out of the state (crowd member shouts 'talk about it!'). You will not make laws to remove me or my dreams because I was raised in an America that believes that freedom will ring (crowd cheers) and freedom is mine to ring. It's mine to achieve.

I was raised underneath the belief that I can be anything and anyone I choose to be, if I follow my dreams (crowd cheers). And so, when I set out as a young person raised by a 9/11 First Responder, police detective in the Bronx of New York and a teacher who worked for the Board of Education in the Bronx, New York, I was raised to believe that I truly could be anything I put my mind to (crowd cheers). And as I grew up in this state, I went to school that I paid for and I'm still paying for - (crowd laughs) to get degrees. Not one, not two, but three certifications (crowd cheers). I am an example of what happens when you have parents and people and community that believe in you. I am a Masters of Psychology earned person, educated, going for my doctorate this year (crowd cheers). I am unstoppable.

You made laws and you made bills that said that, oh, she can't get her medication. And, yeah, I lost all of my help. I lost my doctors. I lost my, my, my access to my medication. But because my community is not weak, because we don't back down, I got it all back (crowd cheers). And I went and bought my own health insurance, because y'all can't even seem to provide none for none of us. So I got health insurance that backs me in the state of Florida. That supports me.

When you guys put laws about education, I start programs. I teach for a living. You can take the books off the shelves, but you can't take the memories out of my mind (crowd cheers). You can erase me from your history books, but, baby, I still exist. I'm here and now I'm on television, baby, you can't get rid of me (crowd laughs and cheers). I'm forever. And soon enough I'll be like Cher. I'll be immortalized. You can't stop me. I'll speak at every single turn.

You made it so that now I have to stand up and fight. You attacked a group that has no ill will towards you and now we have to stand up and fight. So we're gonna fight. We're going to continue to show up. I told you last year, this wasn't the last you seen of me. Hello (crowd laughs and cheers). Last year, I was a volunteer. Now I am the TransAction Special Events Coordinator for Equality Florida. Keep making these laws and these bills and you'll see me in your Senate seats next (crowd cheers). And that is not a threat, that's a promise.

So be sure who you attack because you haven't quelled anything. You haven't stopped us, you've ignited the fire. You've become gasoline. And, baby, we are going to burn like the books and the bras of the past. We will stand on things. I'm going to sit on these subjects like Rosa Parks sat on the bus. Because my dreams will come true, like Dr. Martin Luther King, and I will continue to walk the road, like Ruby Bridges alone, and you can throw your words but they will never break me. You can throw your bricks but they can never hurt me. I will stand and exist for those who cannot. For all of my brothers and sisters and theys and thems who left and can't stay here, I will always be here. And even when you stop doing what you're doing, I will continue to move forward because that is what I do. And now you have met just one, and I'm going to inspire generations, because I already have. Look at the room, read the room, baby (crowd cheers).

And I am, just so you know, and your parents will know, and your children's children will know, I am one of the people who brought all of those drag queens to this rotunda (crowd cheers). And I was here last year with all of those children who came when you came for their rights. It will never stop. It will continue. We will not let these rooms be empty. Even when you plan your sessions around it and try to get them done without us (has mild vocal trouble and grimaces slightly)- without us, sorry - I will show up. I will be here. I look forward to seeing you all throughout the rest of the sessions. Get used to it because I'm pretty and I look good all the time (crowd cheers). My development as a trans woman has been amazing, and I promise you, my body is real, my face is mine, baby. The makeup game, I've been slaying it for 19 years. I'm older than I look but my skin looks better than yours because I know how to take care of it. If you want help, call me (crowd cheers).

I'm mad. I'm done. I'm done playing safe with you guys. I'm done being that person that you think you can walk over. My community, we are not going to be the backs on which you stand on. We're not that community anymore - slavery is over. We won't live in closets anymore. Closets are done. They're removed. It's open spaces.

This is a world where we're supposed to be free. You call yourself a free state, but you take away freedoms and rights. No more. We stand here. We are not going anywhere. So get comfortable, because we are. And we're here (crowd cheers). Thank you. Source

[dearfuturehusbandblog]

Rip Tide

Dear Future Husband,

One thing I hadn't anticipated with finally seeing a doctor this year for the first time since I was about 18 years old (outside of urgent care for like an ear infection or whatever) was that the medical center/hospital that this doctor is associated with has some kind of collaborative care initiative with mental health.

I don't know or understand all the inner workings, but I'm now signed up with a therapist that somehow gets to bill through my insurance as regular medical care instead of separate mental health care.

I had my 5th appointment with her a few hours ago and she said something that just seemed so wildly accurate I can't stop thinking about it.

I was describing how interconnected so many aspects of my life are because I deal with Z because of Y, and I deal with Y because of X, and I deal with X because of W..., and I can't just change Z because of the ripple effect of all the things that came before it and how they're enmeshed.

And she referred to it as being caught in a rip tide.

She said that with every stroke towards shore, I get pulled farther and farther into chaos, and I need to find a way to put a stop to it.

She didn't use the word radical, but she was basically saying I need to make some sort of radical change, pull some sort of emergency break to halt this thing, because there's no way things are going to stop and change without some sort of abrupt interference.

This is all something I basically knew already, but it's the analogy of the rip tide that really struck home.

I've used the snowball analogy in the past to explain the compounding effect of everything, but that doesn't really express the 'ebb and flow without reaching the goal' aspect of this surrounding chaos.

We also discussed a few options for where to go from here and I'm still not sure what any of that will be because most of it comes down to the basic tenets of bitachon and emunah.

I can go on as many interviews as I can find and still not get a job if that's not what Hashem wants for me.

And I guess that's the root of where things suck the most.

I have full faith there is a god and that He runs the world. No doubt about that part.

The part I have issues with is believing that everything is truly for the good and that Hashem has my best interests at heart because if He truly did, then why is my life as screwed up as it is? Why has it been this way since literally before I was born? And why is it so hard for me to break out of and gain some sort of footing as an "independent" person?

Rip tide.

The craziest thing about the accuracy of that analogy is that a rip tide is a narrow "problem area" in the ocean. It only affects those who are actively caught in it. But you could be swimming next to one and not be affected by it. And without understanding it's there, if you see someone struggling in one, you'd think their struggle is ridiculous, like "dude, stop making things so hard on yourself and just swim to the shore like everyone else."

That's literally my life.

Surrounded by people who either don't see that I'm struggling or think I'm just actively making things harder for myself, despite my circumstances truly dictating how hard things are, while I'm just fighting to keep myself afloat.

They say the way to avoid drowning in a rip tide is to swim parallel to the coast line, which means making a 90 degree turn from the direction you're being pulled in.

It means throwing a wrench into the situation and making an abrupt shift.

But when you're tired from treading water for so long, when you're just barely keeping your head above the surface, that's not the easiest thing to do.

In which case, the advice given is to just float along with the current and signal for help.

I always pictured a knight on a horse coming to my rescue like all the childhood movies promised me I'd have.

I guess I never stopped to consider that maybe what I really need is the coast guard.

And maybe that's you, dear future husband.

Or maybe I just need to get myself there alone, before I can be the best option for you and for me.

Everything in its right time, yeah?

-LivelyHeart

[swaglet]

mouthwashing. certified yapping is happening below the cut

u know what bothers me. there's a sizeable (i'm not sure how large or small but more than one of them exists) portion of the fandom that's like... "well anya IS a nurse so she shouldn't have made jimmy give curly the painkillers... she should have just done her job...." YOU PEOPLE ARE NOT SEEING THE ARTISTIC VISION!!!!!!! IT HAPPENS FOR A REASON!!!!!!

1. she is NOT a medical professional. if jimmy was being truthful when he said anya was denied from medical school programs 8 times, and it wasn't just part of him being an unreliable narrator and showing how he looks down on her like something below a cognizant human being, she is not trained to do this. apparently she was given basic nursing classes provided by Pony Express, which i imagine is something similar to becoming CPR-trained in health class when you're a junior or senior in high school.

imagine you're just a random woman with a bachelor's degree in something like medical biology or premed or whatever your school teaches, you've never had hands-on training with actual patients and only have the bare minimum information that will give you what you need to start medical school, and then the captain of your ship has all of his skin burnt off and loses his appendages like hands and feet and he can't talk or do anything on his own and you're barely managing to keep him alive with just bandages and painkillers. i think if i saw the melted, charred body of my captain and friend helpless on a table in front of me everyday for months i would be kind of sick. i think i would puke when i looked at him for the first time. keeping him alive would probably make me want to kill myself, even if he did wrong me and ignore me when i tried to tell him about being raped, even if i wanted him to suffer i would still probably get nauseous looking at him.

2. SHE IS PREGNANT. nausea is like THE symptom of early pregnancy. pregnant women can be so nauseous that they throw up from brushing their teeth or chewing food or even just touching their tongue or smelling/seeing something mildly unpleasant. imagine you are about to throw up at any moment, you are either skeptical or definitively sure that you are pregnant (which is already stressful enough), and then you have to PRY OPEN THE JAW OF A BURN VICTIM WITH NO SKIN (IMAGINE HOW SQUISHY AND BLOODY HE FEELS AND HOW BAD HE MUST SMELL) AND FORCE A PILL DOWN HIS THROAT MULTIPLE TIMES PER DAY. and then he GAGS every time you do it. idk about you guys, but if i even hear somebody gagging or dry heaving, my body responds by making me gag and feel nauseous. if i watch somebody choke on food or puke (or gag to the point of almost puking) i probably am going to puke too. NOW IMAGINE BEING PREGNANT AND PREGNANT-NAUSEOUS ON TOP OF HAVING TO DO THAT !!!!!!!!!!!! anya has every right to get nauseous and puke all over the floor and all over curly and all over everyone else and all over the entire ship!!!!!! but they all agreed to keep curly alive "for one reason or another" and she's probably very aware that puking on or near her patient who is SKINLESS is a guaranteed way to give him an infection that will kill him. even in her agony she is thinking of him more than she is thinking of herself but nobody wants to think about that. of course jimmy wouldn't think about that and he's manipulative so he can get the rest of the crew to believe whatever he wants them to believe about anya

3. IT! IS! A! METAPHOR!!!!!!!!!!!! IT IS A STORYTELLING DEVICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anya was raped by jimmy. probably multiple times. anya goes to curly to tell him about jimmy raping and assaulting her. curly presumably tells anya that he will keep an eye on it and goes about his business like nothing happened. anya has probably told curly that she was afraid of jimmy before he even tried anything but curly didn't listen. when anya tells curly that she is pregnant and it is a result of being raped by jimmy, curly says he has known jimmy for a long time and "will talk to him". curly does nothing to protect anya or assure her that she will be safe from jimmy. curly does not tell anyone else on the ship what jimmy is doing. curly has robbed anya of her voice, and jimmy has robbed anya of her autonomy and safety.

when curly is rendered completely helpless by the crash, anya is entrusted with the duty of taking care of him, which means that his autonomy and his safety are completely in her control as the ship's designated nurse. he is robbed of his voice by the explosion as well; jimmy caused the crash intentionally, so indirectly, jimmy robbed curly of his voice, autonomy, and safety. just like what was done to anya.

anya is traumatized by having her autonomy and safety ripped away from her by jimmy. she is sickened by the thought of forcing someone to do something they don't want to do because it reminds her too much of what jimmy did to her. she knows that curly has no voice, just like she had no voice, and she cannot bear knowing that he can't say what he wants and doesn't want. without the ability to use his voice, everything done to curly is done without his consent. they have no idea what he does and does not want. all he can do is scream and thrash.

curly's inaction and repeated dismissal of anya is a big factor that played into why jimmy crashed the ship. if curly had done something and just listened to anya when she told him that she was afraid of jimmy, that she wanted a safe place away from him, none of this would have ever happened. this is curly's 'divine punishment' (for lack of a better word) for being complicit in her rape and not allowing her to have a voice. his denial of her voice stripped her of everything and left her in jimmy's hands.

anya giving up the responsibility of caring for curly is, first and foremost, one of the only ways she can take control of anything in her life and on the ship after she had all control stripped from her. they all agreed to keep curly alive, so if she doesn't do it, someone else will have to. she gets to decide what happens to somebody indirectly, regardless of how it makes her feel, and it's a way to gain her own control of something. and for that, for control of her own decisions, she trades control of curly. control of his autonomy, his safety, and his voice. and now curly is at the mercy of the man who took it all away from anya. he is forced to lay motionless and experience what anya was experiencing as he ignored her pleas. jimmy violently forces pills down his throat. he beats him. he berates him. the only reason jimmy doesn't rape curly's burned and charred body is because jimmy sees him as human, as a friend (regardless of how jealous or hateful he is towards him) instead of as an object or a vessel, and curly has to sit there and think about that fact. do you think he's grateful that he isn't pregnant, that he can't get pregnant? that all he has to worry about is himself and his own body being beaten and abused by jimmy? that he can only be stripped of his autonomy from someone on the outside, while anya had to live with the fact that it wasn't just jimmy ripping her of her autonomy but now the new living thing he put inside of her against her will? she can try to run and hide from jimmy but she can't run from what's inside of her. for that, curly can't run from jimmy at all

^_^

[foster-the-world]

Hard

Things have been hard with baby boy. Three weeks ago he had a really bad week at school (3K) - after doing well all year. Amongst other really unregulated behaviors he scratched his friend - twice. One time at pickup and one time at daycare. The kids Dad called and screamed at me. All I could do was apologize over and over while he yelled at me. Baby boy plays rough but is not normally aggressive. Over a year ago (at 2.5) he bit his friend one time. We made a big deal out of it and he never did it again.

We pulled him out of school short term to figure out a plan. Also not sending him to daycare anymore. The boys parent said he could not go if baby boy was there. Daycare said they would not kick him out (we are close with them after many years) but we didn't want the boy to suffer when he was the one who got hurt. We will get after school care for the rest of the year. At this point its only two more months.

No idea why he was out of whack. Maybe daylight savings time but he was still sleeping a lot??? My Mom flew in to help - Thank God. He's an angel for her and she's a baby/kid whisperer. I had a really hard time with it - random crying. Spiraling with future worries in a really unhelpful way. I'm not generally much of a crier but I also went out of whack. I suspect there was some residual bad/helpless feelings left over from foster care mixed in there.

He seemed to understand scratching his friend was bad. He asked if he could write an I'm sorry card for his friend. His friend was over it within minutes. The Dad clearly was not.

Despite fighting all year for services this kicked my butt into further gear. Managed to get the SEIT (masters degree special ed teacher) that we've been pushing for all year. Ten hours a week one on one while in class. She seems good. I'm guessing she's a recent graduate - but that's fine. Right now we've only been sending him for the two hours she is with him. Next week we will add in another two hours. Then a full day. He's very happy at home with my Mom. She's staying for a month.

Keeping him home has all been our choice. His teacher never wanted him out of class. I just didn't want to risk him doing it again when we didn't know why he was acting like that. He's normally wild but not like this. At the time it felt like keeping him home was keeping him safe. Since going back he's been behaving fine at school. So fingers cross it was just a bad week. This all happened to coincide with his second development pediatrician appointment where he got a official ADHD diagnosis. Also coincided with the response to our special ed due process hearing. We won. We can now pay an enhanced rate to find providers and got over 100 hours of back pay hours. With his ADHD diagnosis came a recommendation for parent training. Got lucky and found someone who seems solid. Starting Monday night. Its virtual and after the kids are in bed. I'm excited for that. It gives me hope there is a "right" way to help him. Of course, its not covered by insurance even though its the recommended treatment for kids under six. Put him in a social skills class- also not covered by insurance (=blah). I don't think it will help but figure he may enjoy it. I believe (and research shows) kids this young can't learn how to act when they are upset at a time they are not upset. But also believe it can't hurt. At this point we are trying all of the things. He finally has OT, PT and speech - all outside of school hours but that's okay. As I suspected the speech person said she has not noticed any problems. We will probably stop that soon enough. His dev ped said we can medicate. She says research shows it helps but also higher chance of side effects when it starts at a young age. I'm very pro medication but not interested in starting until he is old enough to properly verbalize how the they make him feel. If he always acted how he was during his bad week that would be a different story. Right now meds aren't worth the risk.

Thinking we will put him in a integrated class next year. I was hesitant but this experience made me change my mind. We are touring two schools in May. One said they'd probably have a summer spot. They will bus him - which I heard is terrible and unreliable but will see how it goes.

I love him so much. I want a crystal ball that tells me how to help him. Anyone have one of those?

[natinkart]

Soldier analysis anon:

I'm quite happy to help out! I feel like Soldier tends to be one of the more neglected of the mercs when it comes to analysis but if we examine him through these lenses he's much more compelling than most people write him as. I'm not partial to making him out as just some crazy guy because I feel that's disrespectful to people with severe delusions (I see a lot of my past experiences in him). Even if canon does it, we can do better, can't we? You can still have your shouty, blockheaded American guy AND be able to take him seriously.

I completely agree on the idea that a large part of his interest in the army (and later, his interest in his team) comes from that deep need for community but not quite knowing where to look for it until the propaganda he was exposed to growing up pointed him in the "right direction". This and his care for more (at the time) unpopular animals like raccoons leads me to believe he was quite lonely as a child. Could have been an only child, could have been raised by a single parent, could have been from the midwest.

Regarding "he doesn't care when someone calls him crazy or dumb, but he does care when he's not the perfect American hero in their eyes" and "if he isn't [a hero], then what is he?" --exactly! Exactly.

I think him being towards the front of fights can be both out of care for others And out of passion for fighting. I'm certain his fighting spirit is earnest but sometimes I also feel like for him it's his best way of expressing a want to be (physically) close to his teammates or otherwise spend quality time with them (by fighting with or alongside them).

As for paranoia, I'm having trouble recalling specific examples of this off the top of my head. But I would think this, too, loops back to propaganda telling him what to be afraid of.

Your fem fortress--do you take them in a "the mercs if they were women" direction? Because I do have some thoughts if that were the case

because he's always so neglected as a character I wanted to analyze him a bit. I absolutely didn't what to write him(or I guess her, considering my goal is to write a fem soldier) as just a dumb warhead, a thing he definitely isn't. also, yes you're absolutely right, passing his delusions as a joke always felt wrong but I didn't really know how to actually write a character with delusions, so I'm glad you're willing to help me, that's really kind of you :D

AND WE OBVIOUSLY CAN DO BETTER >:D

I like both of the ideas of him being an only child and the son of a single parent, and on the official site, it is confirmed he is from the midwest. I'm not American, so I don't really know what that implies, so I might need to do a bit of research.

he definitely asks the team to train and fight together to pass the time because he sees it as a way to bond with one another. I feel like he doesn't go easy on his friends even if he cares about them, but he NEVER play dirty. He's the most honest man on this earth for sure. there are actually a lot of moments in the comics in which he outright says how much he hates liars, so I think that tracks.

for the paranoia part, I was mainly talking about what we see in WAR! when the administrator goes to talk to him and we see his apartment and he's like- barricaded inside with boxes of canned food behind him, like if he's always expecting something to happen. and also, yes, the propaganda absolutely said to him "what to be afraid of" so to speak.

yes, the direction I'm taking is the mercs as women, but not just changing their gender, also parts of their backstories and personality to match mainly the time period. for example, medic tried to frequent medical school but was rejected, so she literally "married" a dead medical student to stole his identity and access libraries and textbooks under his name, but she has no certificate or degree whatsoever, because she was a woman who tried to study medicine in like the mid 30s or 40s in Germany. however I wanted to change the gender of only the mercs, Pauling and the administrator (and heavy's sisters, but they don't really come up in the story, and scout's ma), so for example scout would be the smallest girl with 7 brothers, or the tfc mercs are still all men. I wrote a bit for some of the other mercs HERE.

so the thing is translating soldier's personality and external bits of backstory on a woman and see what changes. I think it'll mostly change others' reactions to her and, consequently, her reaction to others. if you have ideas, feel completely free to share whatever is on your mind. Everything is welcome!!

[bunbeeplays]

The Lemon Legacy: Generation 1, Chapter 145 - New Year, New Problems, Part 2

The only thing Paisley needed help with upstairs was having an argument. Hard to do that alone.

Paisley: Why would you treat me like I'm stupid in front of all your friends?

Juan: I wouldn't really call those two friends.

Paisley: Well you still shouldn't talk to me like that!

Juan: Talk to you like what? I really didn't think you'd get it!

Paisley: I'm a GENIUS, Juan, I think I'd get the gist of your corporate hoopla. What advantage do you get from making your own wife look stupid?

Paisley: I worked hard to throw this party together and it really hurt my feelings that you would brush me off like that. I'm trying really hard to make things work but it just feels like you're annoyed by me.

Juan: My job is stressful, mi amor. I'm sorry if you took offense-

Paisley: No! That is NOT an apology!

Whoa, since when does Paisley yell at him? This is new.

Paisley: I know you get stressed and I cut you a lot of slack, but you were rude down there. I changed my entire life when I married you, the least you could do is be nice to me!

Juan: Oh, you thought it was really nice when I bought your parents that loft, didn't you? You didn't even ask but I did it!

Is he really going to hold that over her head right now?

Juan: And it was really nice when I bought you all that Joliebean CC!

Paisley: No! You don't get to throw money in my face and then be as mean as you want to me. That's not love, it's manipulation!

My girl Paisley has HAD it!

Paisley: You might have been able to take advantage of me before but not anymore!

Paisley: You are DONE treating me like a child. I might be younger than you, but I'm still an adult, and I can make my own decisions. To start, I'm NOT becoming a singer so YOU can make money off of me. You pressured me into it, but not anymore.

Paisley: I'm going to college, and I'm getting my medical degree, even if it means I have to go back to waitressing at the Stargazer Lounge to fund it. I love you and your kids, but I don't like what you've become. You're not my father, or my boss, you're my husband. Act like it!

Juan: I… Didn't know you felt that way.

Paisley: That's because you never ask what I want or how I feel about things, and I've had it! I've tried so hard to make this marriage work, but I need you to put in some effort too. Money can't solve everything.

It can't?

Juan dwells on this. Paisley has really made an effort to bond with his children. Even Trent's warmed up to her.

Having his wife working a waitressing job would be a bad look. He supposes he can throw her a bone.

Juan: Ay. I understand. I support your decision to go to school.

Juan: And, this is not me throwing money at a problem, but I will cover the tuition. Consider it an investment.

Paisley can't believe it, she stood up to Juan and he actually listened! She's going to finally accomplish her dream of going to college!

While all that's going down, Ophelia is really feeling accomplished. Being recognized for her hard work is amazing, but passing on those skills for a new generation of musicians is really something.

Ophelia has officially completed the Musical Genuis aspiration!

It's a party, so it can't be all work. Ophelia and Trent decide to call it for the evening and catch up.

Trent: Things between me and Paisley have been pretty good. She comes off ditzy but she's actually really smart. My grades have improved a lot since she started tutoring me.

Ophelia: I'm glad to hear things have been better between you two.

Trent: Yeah. I guess I thought she was just using my dad, but she's actually pretty cool… The twins love her too, it's nice for them to have another girl around. They were just infants when Mom left.

Trent: With how busy Dad is, it was always me, Claudia and Marina, and I love them to bits, but having someone else to help with the girls really takes the pressure off, y'know?

Poor kid, having to take on a parental role. He does seem like he has less weight on his shoulders.

Time for nectar and gossip! Ophelia could hear shouting but didn't know what it was about, so Paisley spills the beans.

Ophelia: Good for you, standing up for yourself!

While she doesn't think this marriage is the best, she admires Paisley for trying so hard to make it work.

It's time for the New Years Countdown. Sha shooby!

Happy New Years! Lots of hugs for everyone!

Ophelia hugs Jaden and goes over to hug her daughter but she has a big question to ask.

Gemma: Mom, Claudia said we can come to her family's ranch house during spring break to meet her horse! Can we, please?

She did promise Gemma she'd get to ride a horse when she's old enough. This seems like a good opportunity, plus it's nice she's making better friends with the Esposito girls.

Ophelia: Of course, muffin. That sounds like a lot of fun.

Gemma: Thank you, thank you!

Gemma leans in to whisper to her mom.

Gemma: Don't tell Daddy, but you're totally my favorite!

Ophelia: You don't need to have a favorite, honey. Daddy and I both love and support you.

That's what she says, but internally she's feeling very smug. Take THAT, Xander!

[sweetlittledaisy7]

For those bashing me because I grew up conservative Christian who is against the abortion laws:

Most people can't look at all sides of why they're against something. It's all abortion is murder and it's wrong. Just give it up for adoption. Many conservatives live within their own heads. Everyone preaches love but spews the opposite.

Yes, I'm adopted.

Yes, I've been part of the prolife movement since I was a child. I was forced.

Yes, I don't believe in abortion for myself.

Yes, I'm still conservative Christian.

When will conservatives recognize their own hate? Many of you shame the very women you tell to choose life. Many of you wouldn't offer any money or support to families in need. Many of you aren't foster parents or adoptees or even foster kids.

I'll admit. I grew up pretty privileged. I grew up in a small bubble and just followed what I was raised in. I never questioned anything. I grew up in a nice town, nice home, went to private school, and my parents paid for my college education. My parents are even thinking about buying me my first home and want to fund my masters degree. Newsflash, most people don't have this.

There are women literally dying because they can't abort. These babies will not survive long, or the mothers health is at risk.

There are babies who will never ever get adopted. Let's be real here. I realized there are babies who aren't adopted. I was a white, healthy baby girl. If I had a disability or medical issue, the chances I'll get adopted go down a lot. Race matters as well. Most adoptive parents looking to adopt don't want to adopt a sick/problem non white baby. It sounds harsh, but it's true. I've met adoptees who were told their adoptive parents settled for them.

So shut the fuk up about putting it up for adoption.

Foster care has many kids we can't find homes for because most adoptive parents like I said are picky. Most want white baby girl newborns. Almost none want an older child or a teenager especially ones with issues.

Speaking of foster kids, did you know many foster kids are raped and abused in foster care? Many can't access health care. What if a teenage foster child gets pregnant? She can't abort. There are kids who spend half their lives foster care until they age out with nothing. Where are the conservatives helping them out? What about the aged out teenager who get pregnant and is homeless now? Will you help her?

Let's talk about the 10 year old pregnant rape victim. If you support a child carrying a baby after being raped you're sick af. I'll be the first one to tell you that if I had a child and she got pregnant from rape, I'll risk my freedom and life getting her an abortion. No child should be forced to not only be raped but be forced to carry a pregnancy from rape. What if it was your child? Grandchild? Cousin? Neighbor? Sister? Many of you call yourself prolife but don't care about kids at all. What about the 10 year old?

And rapists in many states have parental rights. Think about that for a second. Not only must victims bare the child but share custody with their rapist. This country is sick.

And adoption isn't the answer. I'm adopted. I can honestly tell you it's not fun being adopted. Knowing your birth mom didn't want you. Everyone can say she made an adoption plan or she loves you so much. What a load of crap. I'm thankful for my life and my adoptive family, but honestly, at times, I hate being adopted. Everyone else can be with their biological families but me. Now that I'm an adult, it gets harder. I can't wrap my mind around carrying a child and birthing a child just to give your own baby away. It's not something to be proud of either.

Having no genetics around you sucks. Not knowing where you're from sucks. I literally have so many issues from being adopted it's not a joke. Conservatives can push adoption all they want but adoption has its own issues too. Women shouldn't be forced to carry a pregnancy just to give the baby away for adoption. Adoption should be for kids who truly need it when they don't have any family willing to take them in. Why do we want more kids born when we can't even take care of the kids we already have born?

And inflation is a bitch right now. My parents brought their houses for cheap. Their college degrees were cheap. Most people can't even afford to live, let alone pay their medical bills. Many people can't afford rent or a mortgage.

So, yes, I'm a conservative Christian adoptee who is against abortion laws. The prolife movement is a joke. I hate my damn state. And shut the fuq up about adoption. We don't need more babies born to be adopted anyway. Women aren't here to be your incubators.

And before y'all attack me, I believe in Jesus, the Bible, and I've attended Christian schools my entire life. My boyfriend is a preachers kid and grew up more religious than I did. I still attend church, and I still have my beliefs. I attended Christian college and came back a different person once I got outside of my bubble and my family. I see a lot of stuff differently and feel I was brainwashed on many things. I still don't support the abortion ban. Make abortion legal for all. Now shut up and actually practice what you preach if you're prolife. I'm not talking about preventing abortion or banning it either. The hard work of helping born kids and born people who are struggling.