#(can't believe she has a medical degree)

[gxlden-angels]

Love when fundamentalist christians call other fundamentalist christians a cult like I can accept telling children they'll go to hell if they don't hug the parent that spanked them and smile, but I draw the line at suggesting barcodes contain the mark of the beast

[bomberqueen17]

*vibrating slightly in place*

So ok. When I was in kindergarten, my classroom was arranged so that four desks were linked together, so we were in little groups. I used to regularly vibrate my desk and the three it was attached to, with three other children in them, across several feet of floor space, until the linked desks ran into the teacher's desk, which was larger and did not move with the force of my vibrations. I was a good student, but hard to control, and markedly uneven in my ability to like. Do anything. "Well," my mom said once, upon beholding my entire spectrum of a report card, "we'd just hate to be bored."

When I graduated with my bachelor's degree, seventeen years later, my mom said "I never thought you could do it," and when I, shocked, said "what?" she said "well what with your ADHD and all," and I said "my what?" and she said "well, i never wanted to shake your confidence, and I thought once they put a label on you it'd be over, but you super have like, turbo ADHD. Why, what do you think your deal is?" She said it nicely and not in those words at all, but it was the first time I'd ever really realized that I wasn't just mildly eccentric, I did seem to actually have something wrong with me.

I've been trying to get a diagnosis ever since. I've never been able to. I had no health insurance at all for a huge chunk of my twenties, which put a damper on things. One doctor told me "you'd know if you had that" and when I was like "I... do" she was like "no i mean. you'd already be being treated." Which shows a wild and totally unwarranted optimism in our medical system, but she was a resident. The doctor overseeing her care of me suggested I try taking fish oil capsules. To "rebuild my brain tissue".

I did. It didn't help. I still buy them but mostly I use them now to get my cat to take pills.

Eventually in my 30s my doctors started sort of believing me maybe, or at least realizing they couldn't really brush me off (I have gotten... less easily-cowed as I've aged) but they were all like "oh, I can't evaluate that. You'll have to research and find a place that can do a neuropsych eval for you. Insurance doesn't cover those. So good luck. Have some antidepressants in the meantime."

I slid into my 40s, still undiagnosed. I read as many self-help books on the topic as I could find, did all the checklists I found. They all said "girl you super have like turbo ADHD." I tried meditation. I tried divination. I tried bullet journaling, which was hilarious. I tried yoga.

I actually damaged myself doing yoga and am banned from yoga, but at least I'm in physical therapy now. (Word to the wise: if you have really really flexible hip joints, don't fucking do yoga. "Usually I don't have to tell people not to get into that position," said my bemused physical therapist. "Oh," I said, blissfully bepretzeled. "It feels super good." "Mm," she said, "you've torn your labrum. Stop doing that." Now I do really, really boring stretches that don't feel nearly as good, but I also can walk without limping, so. Like. We take the good with the bad I guess.)

Anyway. My PCP in January was like "wait you didn't follow my super vague directions to go see 'the guys downstairs' and see if they can squeeze you into their eleven-month waiting period to get an evaluation that i cannot mention without saying it's several thousand dollars and your insurance surely won't cover it? you must not want this diagnosis very badly!" (At no point has anyone ever given me a phone number for 'the guys downstairs'. I still don't know what she meant by any of those directions. This PCP and I technically speak the same language but I've never understood a single thing she has told me and I don't think she understands a word I say in return, everything I tell her seems to be such a shock to her. You blame antidepressants for your weight gain? I've never heard of that. Ma'am please look up what the incredibly common side effects of antidepressants are.)

I called around but noplace both took my insurance and was accepting new patients. Finally I gave up. Then my Dude went on our insurance company's website and took over the search. He found that there's some kind of concierge service thing, which the insurance company normally charges $450/mo for but our plan includes it, because it's pretty well-hidden on the website and most people aren't ever going to find it anyway. So he said, you know what, I am going to instigate a query on this.

They took two weeks but eventually came back with a list of 13 places, most of them not remotely local. Ten of them were red X's, disqualified for varying reasons-- one because the phone number didn't work, another because it's a seven-hour drive away and doesn't do telehealth. One was in New Jersey. None of them were the local places I had already called.

Two of them were valid, but the insurance wouldn't cover the evaluation for various reasons.

One of them was fully covered, the insurance company said. So I went there.

Their website said "no you're not we can't see you". But Dude was like, call them on the phone. Surely, surely, the concierge service couldn't have lied??? Bet, I said, and called them and left a message, and said to him, if they call me back I will eat a hat.

But they did. They called me back. "Our insurance checker widget is down," they said. "But we do take your insurance! We can see you. We just don't know how much it will cost."

Ominous.

But. They could see me later in the week, via a telehealth appointment.

So I signed up.

The appointment was this morning. I turned up. Their insurance checker thingy still wasn't working so they couldn't be sure how much the appointment would cost me. I at this point don't care, and gave them my HSA credit card, and said do what you will.

I waited 45 minutes and then texted the number they'd texted me from with the confirmation, and a moment later the guy showed up. "Whoops," he said, "that system isn't working quite right either!"

He talked to me for like. Three minutes, and was like "yeah that sounds. Pretty textbook. I'm going to prescribe you stimulants." He then proceeded to take a very basic medical history, and I recognized all the questions because I have researched stimulant medication for ADHD so much. And he was like "We're going to start with Adderall, check at your pharmacy in like an hour." And then he gave me extremely useful and detailed instructions on how to take it, when to take it, what side effects to worry about, what to expect, what to note down in case it might mean a problem, and how to be safe about it. (He asked me three times if I'd ever been suicidal, and it had also been in the online pre-screening. I am aware that can be a rare but very serious side effect of stimulants!)

And then I went to Rite-Aid and I now have 16 pills in my possession, and i am going to wait until tomorrow morning to start taking them, and I am already scheduled for my follow-up in 15 days.

I have absolutely no idea how much any of that is going to cost, but for the record the pills were eleven dollars.

So. I don't know why the last decade of my life has been spent being told that a comprehensive and unattainably expensive neuropsychological evaluation was my only option. Maybe this place is a disreputable pill mill or whatever. But. I am going to get to try to medicate this disorder that has warped my entire life to this point, and I am going to try to see if I can't have some more control over my life, and if it doesn't work then at least I will know, instead of on my deathbed being like "i wonder if i'd ever tried amphetamines maybe I'd have been able to finish a project ever in my life, guess we'll never know".

Which was what I was starting to genuinely think was going to happen.

Literally though why can't a primary care doctor just refer you to a psychiatrist who can then decide whether you need an assessment or whether your condition is likely to respond well to a basic diagnosis?? I get needing the whole nine yards if you're not sure what's wrong with this kid and you don't want to give them the wrong thing-- like I know misdiagnosing a bipolar sufferer with depression can give you really bad outcomes, for example-- but-- I don't know? I don't know.

I just want to be able to start and finish projects. What I'd really love is to be able to make to-do lists meaningfully, as that is an ability I did used to have and now absolutely don't. I legit cannot make a to-do list in any meaningful or useful way.

So we'll see. I'm going to keep a journal and the real test of whether the pills work is to see whether I can actually keep the journal.

But I need to find some kind of edible hat, at some point, just to keep my word.

[misc-obeyme]

Hello! :D

I simply can't stop thinking about Barbatos being insanely attracted and so deeply in love with MC that he don't make the effort to hide it anymore, but the problem is: MC doesn't actually think that he feels that way.

(I'm using female pronouns for better explanation, pardon my english 😔🫶)

Like, MC lives with many ancient and immortal beings who have lived for many many centuries and she is only a human who lived for a few years. In mc's conception, she doesn't see a reason why any of them would be attracted to mc in any way, so she just lives peacefully with them, not really expecting any romantic approach.

Mc and barbatos have a friendship, and mc is attracted to Barbatos (who isn't really?), but doesn't do anything about it. Kinda like the attraction you feel towards your favorite idol, you don't really make a move, but you wish you could get married.

Barbatos notices and kinda feels the same way, sending discreet signals when they were together. He finds it strange, because he sees her obvious interest in him, but doesn't do anything about it.

As time passes, Barbs feelings grow stronger and he grows frustrated and is determined to show MC his interest, his discreet moves now are obvious (only when they were alone bc its barb, cmon). When mc is talking he is just staring at her with such lovestruck eyes, blinking slowly and repliying to her in a flirty way. Mc only grows more and more flustered, not making any moves still.

It gets worse in a degree that once barbatos corners her against a wall and stares deeply at her soul, saying something bluntly urging her to do something since he knew she wasnt oblivious to the situation. Maybe in a teasing way, maybe serious.

I dont know if my ideas came out clear and I honestly think I'm a little lightheaded bc of anti-allergy meds, but this plot has been haunting my mind and I had to tell someone. Stay safe!! 🫶🫶🫶

Hi there, anon! While I'm a little concerned about medications making you lightheaded (like omg please rest and I hope you feel better soon!), I do think I understand what you're trying to say!

Because ahhh Barbatos he's so reserved. When I wrote my long fic, there's kind of a theme where the MC character doesn't believe that Barbatos returns their feelings. It's the cause of much angst and anguish, especially in the later chapters.

I think this is because Barbatos doesn't really express his feelings all that much. He's always calm and collected. He doesn't really get worked up about much of anything. Even when he's mad, it's like hidden behind a smile. The only time we really see him get truly angry is with Solomon in Nightbringer. (I mean there may have been other times but that's the only time I can remember.)

Anyway, I love the idea that he finally picks up on MC's feelings and realizes he has to start being more expressive with his own feelings. I kinda think he might realize that he only has so much time with MC, assuming they're still mortal. Like he's gonna hafta do something because time is short!

I personally am very fond of Barb being a tease, so I like the idea of him kinda teasing MC about it at first. But eventually he's going to get serious. If he thought MC really didn't understand how he feels and wasn't picking up on his teasing and maybe couldn't respond for some reason, he would choose to get serious and direct with them.

So yes, I think this is a delightful scenario and I am always rooting for Barbatos to confess his true love to MC lol!

[copperbadge]

Radio Free Monday

Good morning everyone, and welcome to Radio Free Monday!

Ways to Give:

oloriel linked to a fundraiser for Sean, who is close to his $5K fundraising goal for a liver transplant; he needs a healthier environment to live in once he has the transplant and they're raising the funds for a new place and at least some partial furnishings. You can read more and support the fundraiser here.

gwydion's very elderly car broke down in late October; the repair, to a cooling hose, has cheap parts but expensive labor, and ate most of zir budget for the month. Ze can't do without a car, being disabled, but can't afford to replace it either; ze's raising $280 to help cover bills and the repair. You can give via PayPal here.

nivchara-yahel and her sibling rivalconga are raising money for rent, medicine, and living expenses; they need to pay November rent by the 10th to avoid eviction. You can read more, reblog, and find giving information here.

Anon linked to a fundraiser for The Environmental Conservancy of North Port, Florida, who are trying to raise $14K to purchase a parcel of land that will protect a group of gopher tortoise burrows from being forcibly relocated, which could stress or kill the tortoises, a threatened but keystone species in Florida (their burrows are often home to numerous other species). You can read more and support the fundraiser here.

Buy Stuff, Help Out:

francescaswords is dealing with some worsening health issues which are preventing her from working as she completes her degree, which has had funding cut because she's dropped to a part-time student. She's raising funds by sharing her latest novel, the YA contemporary fantasy Rotting Trees, on Patreon between now and December 2024, where patrons can read the book in installments for as low as $1.50/month. The novel follows a girl with a cursed family necklace and the antiques shop she visits to try to break the curse. You can read more and reblog here or join the Patreon here.

Recurring Needs:

rusty-chevy is very close to her fundraising goal after her work cut her hours and thus her ability to cover bills from her reduced paycheck; she's hoping for one final push to reach goal. You can read more, reblog, and find giving information here.

gwydion linked to a fundraiser for Squirrel, a good friend who has recently lost his job and needs to raise about $800 to cover bills and food; Squirrel has had a lot of interviews and believes he will have an offer but won't start work until December. You can give via paypal here.

rilee16 is raising funds to cover November rent and possible late fees after an aggressive roommate hiked their utility bills; Rilee is now sick and also needs to be able to pay to have medication delivered. You can read more, reblog, and find giving information here.

And this has been Radio Free Monday! Thank you for your time. You can post items for my attention at the Radio Free Monday submissions form. If you're new to fundraising, you may want to check out my guide to fundraising here.

[natjennie]

it's so important to me that alison and mike are, in every sense, the beating heart of the show because. it would be so easy for the ghosts to be the focal point, and they are, to a degree.

but it would be incredibly simple for them to be silly goofy and alison be the no-nonsense wrangler of these dead jokesters, but she's NOT. and they're not. no one in the show is one dimensional, they're all so deeply I mean. human. and flawed and complete characters like. alison is as crazy as the rest of them, as weird and goofy and funny and emotional and dimensional as any of them. she can't cook to save her life and she likes christmas music and pantomimes and they play headbands in the car and she bribes construction workers and she's clumsy and weird and silly.

and mike!! it would make so much sense to be like oh these wild ghosts and their weird human and her stick in the mud husband who can't see them but he's SO multifaceted and important I mean. he supports alison and takes care of her in a physical, medical sense, is concerned for her well-being when she starts seeing them but, he believes her. he believes her and buys in so quickly, he consults the ghost board and he asks about them and he checks who's in the room and he tries to talk to them and he's jealous and sad that his wife has a family he can't directly interact with but he tries anyway! he asks if pat likes his present and he thanks julian for pushing record and he helps move the couch outside so they can celebrate the moon and he crosses his arms and puts on a stern face when alison scolds them.

they're just all so deeply connected and the story would not be the same without alison and mike being exactly as silly and human as they are.

[asmoteeth]

Sharing this gofundme in here because Tiktok absolutely SUCKS with things like this

Full story under cut but you can read it in the petition biography, along with photography proof of this gofundme veracity

I am Hasan Alaloul, I'm reaching out to you on behalf of My Family currently in Gaza, which suffered and still suffering since the previous war on 2021, when the Israelians attacked our house for the first time and killed my father Dr Mooein Al-Aloul الله يرحمه , and my mother and my little sister were seriously injuired as they were in the same room with my father. At this point my mother and sister were totally homeless and we spend the last two years in treatment my mother and sister, and rebuild our house. We finished rebuild the house just six months before the genocide 2023 started, and again our beloved house attacked for the second time; bombed again and completly destroyed in this war.

Between 2021 and 2023, my mother stayed with my brother and his family at his house, stand it between treatment and rebuilding the house. And my sister travel to Turkey for treatment and while there she started studying master degree as she believed that personal growth was the best way to move forward.

Aya -my little sister- suffers from severe burn injuries in her face and hands, and she was supposed to continue her treatment in Turkey and to graduate in February with a master degree in International Business but her dreams has shattered and now she is fighting just to survive another day with my mother and the rest of my family, they have escaped bombings on several occasions, and were displaced five times; it’s a miracle they are still alive until now!!

On April 2023, before the start of the genocide, we had finished rebuild our house and my mother stayed only six months at the house!! Then she came to visit me and my family, and thats when I saw her for the first time after 6 years, and my sister was very excited to see the house after completing it’s rebuild so they returned to Gaza on Septemper; just two weeks before the genocide started, she want to stay with my mother for few weeks in Gaza and they were planning to travel together to Turkey in December 2023 so that my sister could finish her last master semester.

But the Genocide started and turned this story to ashes, this war turned reality, future, dreams and hopes into ashes. Turned life into a Tent.

We survived the first time but this war literally destroyed everything and left my whole family grappling with profound challenges. The recent wave of destruction has left my mother, little sister, my brother and his family and my two other sisters and thier families homeless, live in a tent, without any possessions, without basic necessities to live including (water, food, clothing, bedding and medicine) and without any hope.

I'm in a situation having all those people on my responsibilty and I can't stand lose one of them after we already lost our father due to this conflict. My immediate goal to evacuate my family to a safe place away from the ongoing war.

The funds will be used for travel through the Rafah border crossing to Egypt and essential needs such as temporary housing, food, medical care and basic necessities for my family until we can establish a more stable situation where we can begin the process of rebuilding our shattered lives again.

Every donation, will make a significant difference in helping my family rebuild their lives regardless of it's size and provide the basic necessities for my family as devastation has left them in a precarious situation.

It makes me sad to have to ask for this and ask for help but I really don't know what to do. So I thought I'd try this Gofundme since I was running out of options and I am the sole breadwinner for the family now. I know this request seems impossible but I truly believe in miracles and God always with us and can make possible that which seems impossible. Your support during this profoundly challenging time will offer us hope amid despair.

My heartfelt thanks to you for taking the time to read this and share it! Please reach out to me if you have any questions or concerns. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your kindness.

[hollowwhisperings]

Naminé & Roxas Are Twins

(this meta was inspired by @violethowler's Constructing Kingdoms series on YT)

In KH2, the relationship between Sora & Roxas is seemingly paralleled with that of Naminé & Kairi. It is explained by characters in-game that Naminé, a Nobody, must have been created by Kairi's presence in Sora's Heart during KH1. Thusly is it concluded that Naminé must be the Nobody of Kairi, another facet of that Princess of Heart.

Except... Kairi is a Princess of Heart: a being of pure light, without any Darkness of her own. It is physically impossible for Naminé to be Kairi's Nobody.

At no point has Kairi exhibited the capacity to hold Darkness. Kairi's lack of Darkness is, arguably, one of the major reasons for her lack of combat prowess: without "darkness" of her own, Kairi is unable to feel the selfishness needed to hurt others. This is a small, fundamental kind of Darkness that all living things carry: without it, a Princess of Heart is all too essily incapacitated by selflessness.

Naminé isn't (can't) be Kairi's Nobody: she, like Roxas, is a Nobody of Sora & Ventus. Naminé and Roxas are twins.

Roxas and Naminé are unlike any other Nobody within the KH setting: they alone were capable of developing "selfhood", independently from their Hearts of origin. This is due to the many unique circumstances of their birth: Sora's self-sacrifice in KH1. That event featured multiple oddities likely to affect Sora's Heart, Heartless & the Nobodies created: self-sacrifice (love); heartlessness via keyblade; the specific keyblade used (the Keyblade of [People's] Hearts); the origin of said keyblade (Riku the ???, the person Sora likely loved most at the time); the presence of Kairi, a Princess of Heart, within Sora's Heart; the presence of Ventus, an artificial "Princess of Heart"; the location of the sacrifice (Ansem's Lab in Hollow Bastion, a World fallen to Darkness)... and likely even more factors, known & as yet unaddressed.

As twin Nobodies to Sora's Heartless, Roxas & Naminé were affected by all variables noted above. Sora has been the Host of several Hearts for his entire life: that makes him special, even before Riku chose Sora to be a keyblade wielder. I venture that the Heart most relevant to Naminé's birth was not Kairi's but Ven's: for where Roxas most resembles Sora in disposition, Naminé resembles Ventus-without-Vanitas. Kairi's presence within Sora's Heart had effects, yes, but less than perhaps understood.

The misunderstanding, I argue, comes largely from Kairi's longterm role of "Designated Female": as the lone KH-original female for much of KH's early development (& popularity), Kairi is often considered a "default option" with regards to all things feminine. This feeds not only into assumptions of a Kairi-focused love triangle but also into an overinflation of Kairi's presence in the story.

As with Xion, Naminé's true identity is obscured, in-game & within fandom, by her gender: "Xion & Naminé are female; the only female in proximity to this plotline is Kairi: Xion & Naminé must therefors be derivative personas of Kairi".

Here, as always, Kairi serves as a convenient "default" of femininity, misdirecting players and characters from the queer potential within KH. It is wholly believed, by Sora & the girls in question, that Naminé was Kairi's Nobody. Yet, it is never Kairi whose story and character is most expanded by Naminé's involvement: Naminé's story is, instead, a follow-up to that of BBS's Ventus.

Kairi struggles with a forgotten past, loss & a resistance to change (of "growing up"). Naminé, in parallel & in contrast, experiences the kind of life that Kairi has forgotten: [medical abuse], extortion & isolation. Naminé's time with Organization XIII & with DiZ mirrors that of VEN's with Master Xehanort (&, to a lesser degree, with Master Eraqus).

Kairi's history as a test subject of Xehanort &, possibly, of Ansem the Wise? She's forgotten it and, outside of Melody of Memories, we never get to see how it affected her.  Kairi's Ambiguously Traumatic Past is only ever used for her in her role as "MacGuffin" (i.e. an object of plot importance & no other story-relevant function, one that is ultimately interchangeable with). Kairi's story barely affects Naminé's & Naminé's doesn't affect Kairi's either: the characters most changed by Naminé's character arc were Sora & Riku. This further alludes to Naminé not truly originating from Kairi's Darkness but from Sora-Ven.

The duality of Sora-Ven is reflected in Sora's producing two distinct ("twin") Nobodies during KH1. Roxas is most reflective of Sora but physically looks like Ventus; Naminé is most reminiscent of Ventus-without-Vanitas but (allegedly) "looks like Kairi": this does not occur in the Nobodies of other hybrid-beings, as evident in Xemnas (Terra & Xehanort) & Xigbar (Braig & Luxu). In this way, Naminé & Roxas are more akin to Xion than most every other Nobody.

Ignoring the gender binaries (canonically used & assumed in-universe), the characters that Naminé actually resembles are Ventus (who I propose as Naminé's "primary" origin) & Xion (another artificial being with Sora Origins).

Narratively & thematically, Naminé's arc from CoM to KH2 was a continuation of Ven's story in Birth By Sleep. Both characters are strongly tied to themes of isolation, abusive authority figures, and artificial life. While other characters - Xion, Repliku & Terra-Xehanort - also explore these themes, Kairi notably does not.

I will note that Naminé does not NEED to be Kairi's Nobody to act as her narrative foil: I just find that identifying Naminé with Kairi is buying into the very same (false) Binaric Gender Roles that CoM, Days & (to a lesser extent) BBS sought to poke holes in. Tiny, easily mistranslated-into-nonexistence holes but holes nonetheless. Attempting to conflate Naminé with Kairi is to give the latter character more narrative presence than she truly has, in an effort to reconcile the two together beyond "similarly aged females in proximity to KH's plot".

[rubykgrant]

I'm TRYING to re-think the order of some of the events in my RVB story-line, so it flows a little better as an actual plot (to be fair, the actual series would often leave the end of a season sort of up in the air, and come back with a non sequitur after a lot of time passes, so. shame on me for trying so hard, I guess). I have a lot more little details involved (I'll ramble about those below), but these are the BIG PICTURE aspects that everything else is framed around

The Interviews involve the Reds, Blues, former Freelancers, Doc, Locus, and a few friends from Chorus talking about what they've been through (with some flash-backs thrown in, showing what they aren't all telling). During the Vacations, Donut goes on a big spa-spree, the Grif sibs go back to Hawaii (without a big fuss, Kai may like the attention, but Grif doesn't want people bothering him about being the Famous Orange Soldier), Simmons tries to track down his family (he can't find them), Sarge goes back to sulk in Blood Gulch alone, Wash goes looking for the Triplets, Doc spends some time with Dr Grey and thinks about trying for a medical degree again, Lopez is allowed to just be by himself (and he's honestly kinda bored), Caboose goes back to the Moon, Tucker searches for Junior, Carolina attempts to dig up info about how deep Charon/Project Freelancer really got into all the crime BS, Locus tries to turn himself into the authorities on Chorus (being all "I deserve to die" about it) but Kimball gives him a "life sentence" of community service. Everybody misses each other, and are drawn back together like a bunch of planets caught in the same gravitational pull

-Sarge is contacted by a UNSC group that wants to give soldiers who were Sim Troopers and members of the Flag Zealots "new training", and he doesn't hesitate. He has fun with it for a while, and this is where he meets Poppy... she is how he finds out a lot of the people here were given the option "join this training program or face prison time", which really isn't much of an option at all. He thinks about how the Red VS Blue war was a lie, he thinks about Project Freelancer manipulating the agents, he thinks about Wash having a villain moment to avoid being locked-up, he thinks about Locus believing soldiers are supposed to kill without ever asking questions... and Papa Warcrimes decides he actually hates the military (it's a sign of the apocalypse!). Meanwhile, Carolina has finally gotten some leads about Charon, and she meets Junonia, who helps her find out more regarding the past and what Hargrove is still up to. Gene has also been around, trying to be a solo villain, but he's BARELY a one-man Team Rocket. Finally, the insidious purpose for all this new training is exposed, and Red Team (with their new member, Poppy) gets to have the spot-light when they fight the villain

-Everybody finally goes back to Earth together, and this time, a big celebration is held for their return. They spend most of their time out of armor on Earth, so the general public leaves them alone. Some fun shenanigans with everybody finding ways to amuse themselves (Sarge doesn't like going outside, the sky is too BLUE). Now that she knows where they are (thanks to the welcoming celebration), Tex finally catches up with everybody, revealing that when Epsilon Deconstructed, the information from his memories transferred back to the original Beta unit, reviving her. The Director had this whole plan for eventually bringing Allison back with a synthetic human body made from her DNA sample, but he could never make it "perfect" (Tex isn't an identical clone, more like a genetic "sibling" to Allison). She isn't the only one who found them; the parents Simmons went looking for finally show up (now that their son is a famous space hero). He's more than happy to get their attention, and they have him join their work at a bio-tech company (everybody else immediately recognizes the parents as a-holes, and the business as shady, but try telling Simmons that). Tex was initially hesitant to reveal the other AI Fragments were also revived, what with some left-over sore feelings regarding Sigma and Omega (Wash is ironically more willing to forgive them for everything; he wishes he had been able to do that BEFORE, instead of fighting against them as the Meta, and the whole spiral from there). Carolina talks through emotions with Sigma, and Omega compliments both Doc and O'malley for finding their back-bone. Everybody else is happy to get to know the Fragments better. Some Drama happens with the Reds, but Simmons finally sees his parents don't really care about him, and they all figure out that the bio-tech company has the original Alpha Unit hidden away. They rescue Church, who has the chance to be in his own synthetic body based on the Directors DNA (again, not identical, just similar)

-Everybody gets to CATCH THEIR BREATH, Caboose and Tucker have Church back, Church and Tex get to do people things, hooray! A distress call out there in space tricks Tucker into thinking Junior is in trouble, so he heads out to find his kid (most of the others join him, but a few stay behind because of recovering injures, etc). This turns out to be a trick, Hargrove and Temple are both being jerks. The rest of the gang arrives for a rescue, and Church has each of the Fragments assist his friends for the escape; for Hargrove, this was his attempt to test out a "new version" of scanning a mind to make his own AI (his tech is wonky, and will definitely kill people it scans). For Temple, he's under the impression that if he helps, he can have his own mind scanned, thus giving him a "recreation" of Biff from his memories. Hargrove REALLY wants people who have interacted with the AI Fragments as experiments, since he thinks there is important data to be found from minds like that. Temple just wants to kill the main group because he hates their guts, and it isn't FAIR, why do they get their dead friend back? Also, everybody finds the AI file for Sheila! When things settle down, Grif and Simmons talk, and at last they are on the same freaking page

-After the rescue, Hargove escapes again, and the group hears a distress call from Chorus. Some old problems are going on again, so they swing by to help out. Hargrove has one last-ditch effort to get what he wants in terms of AI experiments... Felix didn't just come back wrong, he came back WORSE. Well, everybody has the chance to work through some unresolved negative emotions aimed at him (Kimball, Locus, Tucker- everybody gets a stab in!). Felix wants to use his sword again, but it recognizes him as "dead". He tries to use a temple that "revives echoes" for key holders, but this just gives him a ghost of Doyle ("It was mine before it was yours"). The Echo also brings back other AI like Santa, who have been programmed to make certain events happen... while everybody tries to deal with Felix AND finally catch Hargrove for good, the Echo creates a whole third problem. At last, a group of aliens arrive, alerted by the Echo, and in the group is- Junior!

-Some happy family reunion time for Tucker and his boy. Junior explains what he's been doing for so long; he wasn't trying to avoid his father, but there are dangerous groups out there trying to kill him, and he's been hiding while also trying to save others. The strange "prophecy" about him, as well as things involving a "Great Destroyer" is indeed true (Gary admits he kind of just made up what it was about, but it really WAS real!) have become more urgent. Somebody who wants to take over and wipe-out anybody who opposes them has been targeting Junior. There are also many other half human/aliens like him, an attempt to create as many potential "prophecy children" as possible, but all were rejected by their human parents and only seen as tools by the other aliens (except for Junior, who is actually loved by his dad... even though they haven't been able to spend much time together). Another temple out in space supposedly has the power to give "continuous life", and the villain intends to use that to win. Tucker and the others try to protect Junior, but the temple doesn't work the way they all think...

-Back on Earth again, life seems to give them all a break... but unusual things begin happening. It eventually becomes clear that there are "new AI gods" toying with them (some are just playful, a few are genuinely malicious). This involves somewhat amusing, if a little annoying, shenanigans (like Wash getting turned into a cat, and a tiny 7-year-old Sarge showing up), but also very dangerous situations. Alternate time-lines and realities collide, some arguably "worst-case scenarios"

-It finally becomes necessary to confront the cause of all this. The group gets pulled into a pocket dimension where a lot of realities intersect. One AI god demands people fight for their amusement, and the winner will get to return to the "reality they want". The group really just wants weird paradox stuff to STOP. Church, Tex, and the Fragments figure out a way to keep everybody from dying, even the enemies they have to fight, until they have the chance to take on the one trying to control everything. Just when it seems like that issue is solved... Donut throws up. Weird, cosmic throw-up, like if the big-bang was a liquid. Being the one who has been traveling through time and reality the most, he's kind of absorbed a LOT of cosmic energy, and he can't control it. A big monster-transformation happens, but everybody figures out how to fix it so they can save Donut. Are we done? Are we DONE now???

-Yes. Everybody has the chance to live their lives, whatever that means for each of them. They get to be happy. Sometimes, bad things still happen, it can be difficult and unpleasant to live- but they still LIVE. Eventually, they pass on too (and that also means different things for some of them). When all is said and done, they're mostly glad they all got to be here~

[sir-yeehaw-paws]

so like do you think the diamond thing is a solely venom thing or would big boss have done the same

You know, it's funny you ask this because I've wondered this myself. And I've seen in certain places and threads the suggestion that this is definitely more of a Venom thing vs a Big Boss thing. And I am inclined-to some degree- to agree.

(I also fully believe the ashes on the face thing is a Venom thing too). I also think it was a bit of a deliberate choice to further give viewers a distinctive note for how Venom is clearly not Big Boss, not the original anyway.

All throughout, there's a connection Venom displays with his soldiers below him that Big Boss does not seem to possess on the same level. Not that I don't think Big Boss doesn't care completely for his men (or at least, Big Boss seems to think he cares about his men to some degree) but that by this point in time, Big Boss certainly had embraced his more..hrm. Authoritative? Position over them. (There are hints of this in Peace Walker as well, even though he's actively fighting against it at times). He has a line, in Peace Walker, that's almost bitter. While I don't have the screenshot on hand, I do recall the line.

Amanda is telling Big Boss that she could 'never replace' her father, as she is not the leader. Big Boss responds to this by telling her a 'leader isn't chosen' in the sense that people don't just decide one day to be in charge. This isn't always true (see most dictators) but in Big Boss's case it's probably how he certainly feels. Being made a leader by other forces (Zero, etc).

His entire concept for Outer Heaven, Zanzibarland etc was a place where 'soldiers weren't disposable'. But they certainly do end up BEING disposable in these places. In the end, Big Boss became much more separated from his men. (Something I'd like to expand on later).

Now, we cut to Venom. Venom, the Medic. He was an MSF ground soldier who-save for being talented enough to be on the Ground Zeroes mission; was still one of the many working under Big Boss. Venom's comrades would've been bunkmates. Other codenamed soldiers he shared mess with. Shared quarters with. Venom is/was one of them. And no amount of hypnosis and psychotherapy was changing that. (This isn't an argument for how good/bad Venom is as a person, rather how he sees the fellow soldier).

Whether Venom is fully conscious of this feeling or not, I can't say. But I do think that his choked on-the-verge of tears voice in those cut scenes, the quiet reverence for how he handles the ashes, the way he changes his mind about scattering them (where I firmly believe Big Boss would've scattered them) says that to some degree, Venom is one of his men. Not someone above them. Not someone who can just forget them after they've served their purpose-but a part of him.

And he continues to keep them part of himself by having them turned into Diamonds. Venom carries his own Diamond in his shoulder patch emblem-the on you'll see glittering in cut scenes in the ACC post mission 43, forever.

Big Boss would've considered them to have died honourably, in the line of duty, scattered their ashes-and moved on.

Another reason I say this, is Kaz is visibly, and audibly surprised by Venom making this choice. There's some genuine confusion when he says 'We're not burying them at sea?" Like this is out of character for the Big Boss he knows *knew*.

Course, these are all just headcanons. But it's what I believe anyway.

Thank you for the ask!

[androphagy]

when i say "cis men are inherently more dangerous than cis women, trans women, and trans men" the "inherently" is because those are the cultures we're usually in when speaking on trans issues online, especially on tumblr. it is NOT BIOLOGICAL, it is centuries of sociopolitical patriarchal-dominated grooming. it's not biology that makes cisgender men "more dangerous" whatsoever it's the literal historical context of cismale entitlement being funneled through decades and decades of "you're a man so do whatever you want."

this isn't applicable to trans women and trans men because trans women lose that "privilege" the second they're anything other than Good Cis Male Archetype. femininity is punished in people who are viewed as Supposed To Be Men to all different degrees and pretending like trans women have any form of oppressive status over cis men (which is a take i've seen from terfs fairly regularly) is fucking insane. tell me what does a trans woman GAIN from putting herself out there and becoming something societally people, even other cis and trans women, will punch down on at first opportunity. she doesn't!!! she gains nothing but another target on her back!!!! trans women and transfems are seen as this nebulous "other" waiting behind every bathroom door to attack poor random cis women and children and if you can't see that and how prevalent that ideology has become eurocentrically you may just be completely out of touch beyond what i can tell you here.

trans men don't have that same context because unless they were born into a family that raised them fully in the way today's (and im speaking specifically on western/eurocentric ideals) men are raised and don't acknowledge their anatomy at all aside from positively, which is a fairly large part of misogyny, they're going to see misogyny for a good long while regardless of (if they ever do!!) passing status. and that passing privilege can be yanked out from under them if they're outed, medical misogyny is rampant no matter how masculine you look - if you still have a vagina, you will never be seen as male in the eyes of most people. trans men and the transmasculine are consistently erased, correctively raped and abused, and subjugated so they can't "identify" as male in the first place. the swept-under-the-rug-edness of this issue isn't the fault of trans women though!!!! visibility isn't a cake where it'll run out if someone takes more!!!!

the intercommunity "axis of oppression/lateral aggression" theory is specifically to pull apart internal biases surrounding the beliefs and behaviors of queers who are on varying levels of othering dependent on their own personal situations and externalization vs internalization of harm/support. for example its not calling out YOU, specifically, for being wary around people with penises; historical context, as i mentioned earlier, coupled with personal trauma and modern sociopolitical theory contribute to the unconscious bias against sharing the women's room with a trans woman regardless of how much of an ally you claim to be (as a transmasc, cis woman, newly-out transfem, etc.) it doesn't make your beliefs right in being anxious about going to the bathroom while a trans woman is in there too, but it gives you a starting place to begin to work on not having those beliefs. it is not a moral failing to have more privilege than someone else!! you can use that privilege to help them or at the very least see where they're coming from and deconstruct your own internalized bigotry!!!!

don't turn every conversation specifically about trans women's struggles into a "but all trans people --" because that's not what the post/conversation/etc is about. you can make your own post. when a trans woman is talking about how she's been affected and targeted in the bathroom by cis women and refers to them as AFAB, she's probably NOT rubbing her hands together and thinking how she's also "taking a swing" at trans men and transmascs. believe people when they say what they mean especially on a public and largely anonymous forum!!!

trans women have every reason to be afraid of cis men that people AFAB do. are there risks such as pregnancy which can increase that fear in people AFAB? yeah, absolutely. no one is arguing against that. trans women and trans men are arguing that they see bigotry and targeted aggression outside and inside the community, and the inside is on mostly personal-to-clique levels...which happens in every community regardless of it being queer focused or not. a trans woman snapping at a trans man for being entitled online isn't her saying "all trans men are like this and they're basically not even trans because they chose to be men", she's angry at the entitlement, not the trans status. she's viewing it from the extremely trodden-on status of a woman who's being attacked relentlessly for something she has no control over (just like how trans men have no control over being born with anatomically female parts!) just like how trans women can unlearn patriarchal entitlement, trans men can not internalize it and inflict it onto others with the misguided belief of that being how they're going to be seen as a man/that that's just what men do.

personally i think there's been a massive schism intentionally driven by terfs, transphobic queers, and cis people (men and women) between transmascs, transfems, trans women, and trans men because it's easier to break down communities once you sew enough discord and make everyone think no one else understands them and is out to get them at first opportunity (and my hypothesis on hyperindividualism running parallel to modern identity politics goes further into that.)

if you make everyone in the same demographic believe that the other has no way of understanding or relating to one another, then what's the point of having the community to begin with? bigoted groups -- cis, trans, conservative, leftist -- utilize that to really dig their claws in with their "divide and conquer" stratagem, and no one is exempt from being a potential transphobe because of their status of being trans.

compassion for those hurting in a system designed to hurt them will carry you so much further than getting aggro the second someone disagrees with you.

[transfloridaresources]

[Video ID: An Afro-Latina trans woman, Angelique Godwin, stands at a podium in front of a supportive crowd behind her. The podium has a sign on it that reads 'Equality Florida. Censorship (crossed out) Freedom!' /End ID]

Video transcript:

Let me just start by saying, hi everyone. My name is Angelique Godwin and I am a Afro-Latina trans woman (crowd cheers) not only living in Florida but leading the way for my people and my community - and not just the trans community, but every single letter in the LGBTQIA+ community.

I will not be feared out of the state (crowd member shouts 'talk about it!'). You will not make laws to remove me or my dreams because I was raised in an America that believes that freedom will ring (crowd cheers) and freedom is mine to ring. It's mine to achieve.

I was raised underneath the belief that I can be anything and anyone I choose to be, if I follow my dreams (crowd cheers). And so, when I set out as a young person raised by a 9/11 First Responder, police detective in the Bronx of New York and a teacher who worked for the Board of Education in the Bronx, New York, I was raised to believe that I truly could be anything I put my mind to (crowd cheers). And as I grew up in this state, I went to school that I paid for and I'm still paying for - (crowd laughs) to get degrees. Not one, not two, but three certifications (crowd cheers). I am an example of what happens when you have parents and people and community that believe in you. I am a Masters of Psychology earned person, educated, going for my doctorate this year (crowd cheers). I am unstoppable.

You made laws and you made bills that said that, oh, she can't get her medication. And, yeah, I lost all of my help. I lost my doctors. I lost my, my, my access to my medication. But because my community is not weak, because we don't back down, I got it all back (crowd cheers). And I went and bought my own health insurance, because y'all can't even seem to provide none for none of us. So I got health insurance that backs me in the state of Florida. That supports me.

When you guys put laws about education, I start programs. I teach for a living. You can take the books off the shelves, but you can't take the memories out of my mind (crowd cheers). You can erase me from your history books, but, baby, I still exist. I'm here and now I'm on television, baby, you can't get rid of me (crowd laughs and cheers). I'm forever. And soon enough I'll be like Cher. I'll be immortalized. You can't stop me. I'll speak at every single turn.

You made it so that now I have to stand up and fight. You attacked a group that has no ill will towards you and now we have to stand up and fight. So we're gonna fight. We're going to continue to show up. I told you last year, this wasn't the last you seen of me. Hello (crowd laughs and cheers). Last year, I was a volunteer. Now I am the TransAction Special Events Coordinator for Equality Florida. Keep making these laws and these bills and you'll see me in your Senate seats next (crowd cheers). And that is not a threat, that's a promise.

So be sure who you attack because you haven't quelled anything. You haven't stopped us, you've ignited the fire. You've become gasoline. And, baby, we are going to burn like the books and the bras of the past. We will stand on things. I'm going to sit on these subjects like Rosa Parks sat on the bus. Because my dreams will come true, like Dr. Martin Luther King, and I will continue to walk the road, like Ruby Bridges alone, and you can throw your words but they will never break me. You can throw your bricks but they can never hurt me. I will stand and exist for those who cannot. For all of my brothers and sisters and theys and thems who left and can't stay here, I will always be here. And even when you stop doing what you're doing, I will continue to move forward because that is what I do. And now you have met just one, and I'm going to inspire generations, because I already have. Look at the room, read the room, baby (crowd cheers).

And I am, just so you know, and your parents will know, and your children's children will know, I am one of the people who brought all of those drag queens to this rotunda (crowd cheers). And I was here last year with all of those children who came when you came for their rights. It will never stop. It will continue. We will not let these rooms be empty. Even when you plan your sessions around it and try to get them done without us (has mild vocal trouble and grimaces slightly)- without us, sorry - I will show up. I will be here. I look forward to seeing you all throughout the rest of the sessions. Get used to it because I'm pretty and I look good all the time (crowd cheers). My development as a trans woman has been amazing, and I promise you, my body is real, my face is mine, baby. The makeup game, I've been slaying it for 19 years. I'm older than I look but my skin looks better than yours because I know how to take care of it. If you want help, call me (crowd cheers).

I'm mad. I'm done. I'm done playing safe with you guys. I'm done being that person that you think you can walk over. My community, we are not going to be the backs on which you stand on. We're not that community anymore - slavery is over. We won't live in closets anymore. Closets are done. They're removed. It's open spaces.

This is a world where we're supposed to be free. You call yourself a free state, but you take away freedoms and rights. No more. We stand here. We are not going anywhere. So get comfortable, because we are. And we're here (crowd cheers). Thank you. Source

[foster-the-world]

Hard

Things have been hard with baby boy. Three weeks ago he had a really bad week at school (3K) - after doing well all year. Amongst other really unregulated behaviors he scratched his friend - twice. One time at pickup and one time at daycare. The kids Dad called and screamed at me. All I could do was apologize over and over while he yelled at me. Baby boy plays rough but is not normally aggressive. Over a year ago (at 2.5) he bit his friend one time. We made a big deal out of it and he never did it again.

We pulled him out of school short term to figure out a plan. Also not sending him to daycare anymore. The boys parent said he could not go if baby boy was there. Daycare said they would not kick him out (we are close with them after many years) but we didn't want the boy to suffer when he was the one who got hurt. We will get after school care for the rest of the year. At this point its only two more months.

No idea why he was out of whack. Maybe daylight savings time but he was still sleeping a lot??? My Mom flew in to help - Thank God. He's an angel for her and she's a baby/kid whisperer. I had a really hard time with it - random crying. Spiraling with future worries in a really unhelpful way. I'm not generally much of a crier but I also went out of whack. I suspect there was some residual bad/helpless feelings left over from foster care mixed in there.

He seemed to understand scratching his friend was bad. He asked if he could write an I'm sorry card for his friend. His friend was over it within minutes. The Dad clearly was not.

Despite fighting all year for services this kicked my butt into further gear. Managed to get the SEIT (masters degree special ed teacher) that we've been pushing for all year. Ten hours a week one on one while in class. She seems good. I'm guessing she's a recent graduate - but that's fine. Right now we've only been sending him for the two hours she is with him. Next week we will add in another two hours. Then a full day. He's very happy at home with my Mom. She's staying for a month.

Keeping him home has all been our choice. His teacher never wanted him out of class. I just didn't want to risk him doing it again when we didn't know why he was acting like that. He's normally wild but not like this. At the time it felt like keeping him home was keeping him safe. Since going back he's been behaving fine at school. So fingers cross it was just a bad week. This all happened to coincide with his second development pediatrician appointment where he got a official ADHD diagnosis. Also coincided with the response to our special ed due process hearing. We won. We can now pay an enhanced rate to find providers and got over 100 hours of back pay hours. With his ADHD diagnosis came a recommendation for parent training. Got lucky and found someone who seems solid. Starting Monday night. Its virtual and after the kids are in bed. I'm excited for that. It gives me hope there is a "right" way to help him. Of course, its not covered by insurance even though its the recommended treatment for kids under six. Put him in a social skills class- also not covered by insurance (=blah). I don't think it will help but figure he may enjoy it. I believe (and research shows) kids this young can't learn how to act when they are upset at a time they are not upset. But also believe it can't hurt. At this point we are trying all of the things. He finally has OT, PT and speech - all outside of school hours but that's okay. As I suspected the speech person said she has not noticed any problems. We will probably stop that soon enough. His dev ped said we can medicate. She says research shows it helps but also higher chance of side effects when it starts at a young age. I'm very pro medication but not interested in starting until he is old enough to properly verbalize how the they make him feel. If he always acted how he was during his bad week that would be a different story. Right now meds aren't worth the risk.

Thinking we will put him in a integrated class next year. I was hesitant but this experience made me change my mind. We are touring two schools in May. One said they'd probably have a summer spot. They will bus him - which I heard is terrible and unreliable but will see how it goes.

I love him so much. I want a crystal ball that tells me how to help him. Anyone have one of those?

[bunbeeplays]

The Lemon Legacy: Generation 1, Chapter 145 - New Year, New Problems, Part 2

The only thing Paisley needed help with upstairs was having an argument. Hard to do that alone.

Paisley: Why would you treat me like I'm stupid in front of all your friends?

Juan: I wouldn't really call those two friends.

Paisley: Well you still shouldn't talk to me like that!

Juan: Talk to you like what? I really didn't think you'd get it!

Paisley: I'm a GENIUS, Juan, I think I'd get the gist of your corporate hoopla. What advantage do you get from making your own wife look stupid?

Paisley: I worked hard to throw this party together and it really hurt my feelings that you would brush me off like that. I'm trying really hard to make things work but it just feels like you're annoyed by me.

Juan: My job is stressful, mi amor. I'm sorry if you took offense-

Paisley: No! That is NOT an apology!

Whoa, since when does Paisley yell at him? This is new.

Paisley: I know you get stressed and I cut you a lot of slack, but you were rude down there. I changed my entire life when I married you, the least you could do is be nice to me!

Juan: Oh, you thought it was really nice when I bought your parents that loft, didn't you? You didn't even ask but I did it!

Is he really going to hold that over her head right now?

Juan: And it was really nice when I bought you all that Joliebean CC!

Paisley: No! You don't get to throw money in my face and then be as mean as you want to me. That's not love, it's manipulation!

My girl Paisley has HAD it!

Paisley: You might have been able to take advantage of me before but not anymore!

Paisley: You are DONE treating me like a child. I might be younger than you, but I'm still an adult, and I can make my own decisions. To start, I'm NOT becoming a singer so YOU can make money off of me. You pressured me into it, but not anymore.

Paisley: I'm going to college, and I'm getting my medical degree, even if it means I have to go back to waitressing at the Stargazer Lounge to fund it. I love you and your kids, but I don't like what you've become. You're not my father, or my boss, you're my husband. Act like it!

Juan: I… Didn't know you felt that way.

Paisley: That's because you never ask what I want or how I feel about things, and I've had it! I've tried so hard to make this marriage work, but I need you to put in some effort too. Money can't solve everything.

It can't?

Juan dwells on this. Paisley has really made an effort to bond with his children. Even Trent's warmed up to her.

Having his wife working a waitressing job would be a bad look. He supposes he can throw her a bone.

Juan: Ay. I understand. I support your decision to go to school.

Juan: And, this is not me throwing money at a problem, but I will cover the tuition. Consider it an investment.

Paisley can't believe it, she stood up to Juan and he actually listened! She's going to finally accomplish her dream of going to college!

While all that's going down, Ophelia is really feeling accomplished. Being recognized for her hard work is amazing, but passing on those skills for a new generation of musicians is really something.

Ophelia has officially completed the Musical Genuis aspiration!

It's a party, so it can't be all work. Ophelia and Trent decide to call it for the evening and catch up.

Trent: Things between me and Paisley have been pretty good. She comes off ditzy but she's actually really smart. My grades have improved a lot since she started tutoring me.

Ophelia: I'm glad to hear things have been better between you two.

Trent: Yeah. I guess I thought she was just using my dad, but she's actually pretty cool��� The twins love her too, it's nice for them to have another girl around. They were just infants when Mom left.

Trent: With how busy Dad is, it was always me, Claudia and Marina, and I love them to bits, but having someone else to help with the girls really takes the pressure off, y'know?

Poor kid, having to take on a parental role. He does seem like he has less weight on his shoulders.

Time for nectar and gossip! Ophelia could hear shouting but didn't know what it was about, so Paisley spills the beans.

Ophelia: Good for you, standing up for yourself!

While she doesn't think this marriage is the best, she admires Paisley for trying so hard to make it work.

It's time for the New Years Countdown. Sha shooby!

Happy New Years! Lots of hugs for everyone!

Ophelia hugs Jaden and goes over to hug her daughter but she has a big question to ask.

Gemma: Mom, Claudia said we can come to her family's ranch house during spring break to meet her horse! Can we, please?

She did promise Gemma she'd get to ride a horse when she's old enough. This seems like a good opportunity, plus it's nice she's making better friends with the Esposito girls.

Ophelia: Of course, muffin. That sounds like a lot of fun.

Gemma: Thank you, thank you!

Gemma leans in to whisper to her mom.

Gemma: Don't tell Daddy, but you're totally my favorite!

Ophelia: You don't need to have a favorite, honey. Daddy and I both love and support you.

That's what she says, but internally she's feeling very smug. Take THAT, Xander!

[sweetlittledaisy7]

For those bashing me because I grew up conservative Christian who is against the abortion laws:

Most people can't look at all sides of why they're against something. It's all abortion is murder and it's wrong. Just give it up for adoption. Many conservatives live within their own heads. Everyone preaches love but spews the opposite.

Yes, I'm adopted.

Yes, I've been part of the prolife movement since I was a child. I was forced.

Yes, I don't believe in abortion for myself.

Yes, I'm still conservative Christian.

When will conservatives recognize their own hate? Many of you shame the very women you tell to choose life. Many of you wouldn't offer any money or support to families in need. Many of you aren't foster parents or adoptees or even foster kids.

I'll admit. I grew up pretty privileged. I grew up in a small bubble and just followed what I was raised in. I never questioned anything. I grew up in a nice town, nice home, went to private school, and my parents paid for my college education. My parents are even thinking about buying me my first home and want to fund my masters degree. Newsflash, most people don't have this.

There are women literally dying because they can't abort. These babies will not survive long, or the mothers health is at risk.

There are babies who will never ever get adopted. Let's be real here. I realized there are babies who aren't adopted. I was a white, healthy baby girl. If I had a disability or medical issue, the chances I'll get adopted go down a lot. Race matters as well. Most adoptive parents looking to adopt don't want to adopt a sick/problem non white baby. It sounds harsh, but it's true. I've met adoptees who were told their adoptive parents settled for them.

So shut the fuk up about putting it up for adoption.

Foster care has many kids we can't find homes for because most adoptive parents like I said are picky. Most want white baby girl newborns. Almost none want an older child or a teenager especially ones with issues.

Speaking of foster kids, did you know many foster kids are raped and abused in foster care? Many can't access health care. What if a teenage foster child gets pregnant? She can't abort. There are kids who spend half their lives foster care until they age out with nothing. Where are the conservatives helping them out? What about the aged out teenager who get pregnant and is homeless now? Will you help her?

Let's talk about the 10 year old pregnant rape victim. If you support a child carrying a baby after being raped you're sick af. I'll be the first one to tell you that if I had a child and she got pregnant from rape, I'll risk my freedom and life getting her an abortion. No child should be forced to not only be raped but be forced to carry a pregnancy from rape. What if it was your child? Grandchild? Cousin? Neighbor? Sister? Many of you call yourself prolife but don't care about kids at all. What about the 10 year old?

And rapists in many states have parental rights. Think about that for a second. Not only must victims bare the child but share custody with their rapist. This country is sick.

And adoption isn't the answer. I'm adopted. I can honestly tell you it's not fun being adopted. Knowing your birth mom didn't want you. Everyone can say she made an adoption plan or she loves you so much. What a load of crap. I'm thankful for my life and my adoptive family, but honestly, at times, I hate being adopted. Everyone else can be with their biological families but me. Now that I'm an adult, it gets harder. I can't wrap my mind around carrying a child and birthing a child just to give your own baby away. It's not something to be proud of either.

Having no genetics around you sucks. Not knowing where you're from sucks. I literally have so many issues from being adopted it's not a joke. Conservatives can push adoption all they want but adoption has its own issues too. Women shouldn't be forced to carry a pregnancy just to give the baby away for adoption. Adoption should be for kids who truly need it when they don't have any family willing to take them in. Why do we want more kids born when we can't even take care of the kids we already have born?

And inflation is a bitch right now. My parents brought their houses for cheap. Their college degrees were cheap. Most people can't even afford to live, let alone pay their medical bills. Many people can't afford rent or a mortgage.

So, yes, I'm a conservative Christian adoptee who is against abortion laws. The prolife movement is a joke. I hate my damn state. And shut the fuq up about adoption. We don't need more babies born to be adopted anyway. Women aren't here to be your incubators.

And before y'all attack me, I believe in Jesus, the Bible, and I've attended Christian schools my entire life. My boyfriend is a preachers kid and grew up more religious than I did. I still attend church, and I still have my beliefs. I attended Christian college and came back a different person once I got outside of my bubble and my family. I see a lot of stuff differently and feel I was brainwashed on many things. I still don't support the abortion ban. Make abortion legal for all. Now shut up and actually practice what you preach if you're prolife. I'm not talking about preventing abortion or banning it either. The hard work of helping born kids and born people who are struggling.

[graveyardhorror]

𝔎𝔦𝔩𝔩 𝔗𝔥𝔦𝔰 𝔏𝔬𝔳𝔢: 𝔐𝔲𝔰𝔢

🥀 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗦𝗶𝘅: 𝗢𝗳𝗳 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗥𝗮𝗶𝗹𝘀 🥀

KILL THIS LOVE SERIES MASTERLIST

"Love is crazy. Love is powerful. Love can make us do crazy and powerful things"

-

A few weeks later - Jisoo pov

I couldn't believe how easy it was to find more about them. What if this information got into the wrong hands? Were they trying to get themselves hurt? Having this much information about your personal life made public, seems like they're too trusting, too naive.

"It seems like my little muse is a bit...dumb" I huffed out a giggle as I thought quietly to myself. 

Whatever, it's not like none of this will even matter when my plan is done. They'll have me to protect them from the world. It really is a dark and dangerous world we live in.  I can shield them, they can inspire me. Perfect and ideal.

Looking at my laptop I continued to read the information the private investigator sent me. 

What?

After I first saw Y/N, I couldn't help myself. I wanted as many details as I could get my hands on as quickly as time would allow, however certain conditions make that difficult for me to be the one to do it. 

Ever since I was a child I was diagnosed with quite a few disorders. Severe bipolar disorder, that caused me to later be diagnosed with insomnia and a bunch of other things that I won't get into. I used to take medication to prevent me from doing impulsive and reckless things. Now, all I seem to do is impulsive and reckless things. Dangerous, even.

I no longer believe in holding myself back. I've gotten pretty good at fooling everyone, though my undereyes could give me away, there's makeup for that. 

If I hadn't hired that private investigator who knows what I would have ended up doing? I cannot be putting myself at risk right now, not until my plan is fully ready. 

Hm,

this is unlike me.

"There's no way she-"

"Sweetie! Dinner's ready!"

I hear my mother call me from downstairs. 

That sly little-

No.

I need proof first.

That night - Jisoo pov

I can't believe mother would do this to me. Her and I spoke during dinner, about my wellbeing of course. I thought I wasn't taking any medication. They hinder my mind. I need to think. Most importantly, I need to know how I'm going to make them mine. She doesn't know this, mother I mean. She knows a lot and I respect that, to a certain degree. However, she can't seriously think that getting between me and my muse is going to end well for her and dad. Right?

Seems like my plan just got a step.

Step 1: learn more about Y/N

Step 2: get closer

Step 3: eliminate anyone who gets in my way

Step 4: ?

Step 5: happily ever after (aka marriage! <3)

Only five steps! Sounds so simple when I write it down ha ha. For so long I was deprived of my natural instincts, my essence as a predator. I can't even remember the last time I felt homicidal.

I pouted to myself. "This is horrible," mumbling I took out my scrapbook.

Labeled "MUSE <3" 

I created it the day I say them for the first time. I couldn't help myself, I even took some supplements to make my normal antipsychotics less effective. 

I'm not crazy and I am most certainly not losing my mind.

I'm Jisoo, I'm okay. I always am. 

I was never the problem, the weak ones were the people trying to stop me from being myself. I shouldn't be ashamed of being me, they should be though. For trying to hide my true power and nature.

Rolling over on my side, I flipped my scrapbook to my favorite picture.

"I can't wait for our wedding day," sighing dreamily as I lay on my bed, hugging one of my pillows tightly. It sucks that I can't rush the boring stuff, the best is always saved for last after all.

I need more. More of Y/N. More information. I want it all. I want all of them.

But for now, I have to settle down. Mother thinks I'm on her side, but I always have some tricks up my sleeve.

I took my sleeping medication for the first time in about a month, not because I wanted to but because I was starting to see things again from sleep deprivation. I certainly did not miss seeing the eyeless bloody woman following me around all day.

Finally, I slept a dreamless sleep.

Next day - Y/N pov

For the past two weeks I've been having the same recurring dream. I don't understand what it means. Is it a warning? My overactive imagination? A product of the true crime podcast I keep listening to every other day?

I don't know. Part of me wants to believe it's just my brain being funny to me. I can't help but think that maybe my gut feeling is right, that this nightmare is my future.

I just hope that I'm wrong.

I got out of my car, walking towards the building my first class of the day was located in, I spotted something out of the corner of my eye. What the-

Turning my head to look across the parking lot, I saw nothing. I could've sworn I saw a woman, wearing all black and was she covered in b-

No. Maybe my parents are right about me listening to scary things so often, seems to be the only they're right about though.

We got into another fight today about my plans after graduation. You would think they would save this until my last year of university, and not the first semester of my first year.

I just want to feel understood, even my best friend is starting to side with my parents.

"They just want what's best for you and your future" I scrunch my nose in annoyance, remembering what they said after I told them about my parent's view on my future career.

Whatever,

I have to get to class I don't have time for this.

Third person pov

Jisoo had all the time in the world for this. Paying some overly intelligent teenager to do her homework and online exams for her was so worth it in her opinion. She had finally found her first full time job: watching Y/N. 

Jisoo's pov

Wow.

I really am deeply into them. Ha. Who would've thought that I was capable of feeling what I'm currently feeling?

Falling down a sea of rough waters called love. Dragging me down to the depths of the sea. 

I can't be upset at the thought of drowning, if I refuse to be saved. 

I want to be at the sea floor. I need it badly. 

I don't want to come up for air, who cares for oxygen anyway?

I don't need anything or anyone but them.

My lovely and dear muse.

How I missed you and your precious face.

As I watched you get out of your car, I almost thought you sensed my presence. Before I could even melt into a puddle of pure dopamine I noticed something. Someone else?

Who were you glancing at? Do I really have more competition than I thought?

No no no no no.

First your friend who your oddly close to, then mother becomes a new threat against our relationship, now your looking at other people? In front of me?

I need to do something,

And I need to do something fast. 

𝖠 𝖩𝖨𝖲𝖮𝖮 𝖪𝖨𝖬 𝖧𝖮𝖱𝖱𝖮𝖱 𝖠𝖴

𝖽𝗂𝗏𝗂𝖽𝖾𝗋𝗌 𝖻𝗒 𝗌𝗐𝖾𝖾𝗍𝗉𝖺𝗋𝗍𝗒

[felixstudios]

What are your headcanons on some of the manager's cheats and how they do them? like prethinker and his castling jump. i personally believe he just concentrates to an almost painful degree.

Random Corporate Clash Headcanons, How They Do Their Cheats Edition

Wrote this half asleep so I hope it makes sense

Duck Shuffler

🎰He... rolls his slots? It's self explanatory lol he just pulls the lever

Prethinker

🧠I feel like this guy has either set up invisible wires to make it look like he's jumping really high or he gave himself a jet pack

🧠Definitely think hard about where he should go

Derrick Man

🛢️He just... makes oil? LOL

Deep Diver

🫧Look I don't know how he's diving under the wood okay?

🫧My best guess is there's like a river or ocean all around Barnacle Boatyard and she's actually just running over there and diving in the water constantly but because of gameplay restraints, that can't really be shown

Rainmaker

⛈️I think her hair is what gives her the weather powers NGL

⛈️Like her hair is magical I guess? And she just controls the weather at will after that lol IDK what else to say here

Land Acquisition Architect

🚦This man's cheat has concerned me for a while because ink is kinda like... Toon blood... So uhhhhhh..... Yeah I dunno it's just very strange

🚦I think the best answer is either he has magic powers for draining ink or he's got some medical equipment to remove some

Gatekeeper

⚔️I feel like she actually wears a full suit of armor, either over her clothes and the game can't/won't show that or they're under

⚔️Either way, this girl's wearing full armor in my head so the beefy defense makes sense

⚔️Her unluring Cogs is probably just her perfectionism showing itself lol

Witch Hunter

🔱He has magic powers without a doubt

🔱The bewitchment stuff? Just witchcraft

🔱Fire powers? I don't know why he has these but also magic

🔱Hive mind? He's using magic again and/or he's just REALLY good at convincing Cogs to join the mob

Public Relations Representative

🧱Glower power is just the dagger flying around him. How's it doing that? Magic, I say

Bellringer

🔔I like to imagine he's so obnoxiously annoying that other Cogs just. Stop wanting to deal with him

🔔Haven't actually done a 1.4 Bellringer still so I can't really comment any further

Multislacker

🥪Zero task: He just has... a LOT of sandwiches. A lot.

🥪Hyper task: Hitting him just motivates him to hit you and do it really fast {since the animation gives him the effect that looks fast}

🥪Wasteful management: He probably calls his dad and tells him to bring Cogs over

🥪Lunch break: Either calls the Foremen directly to ask him to cover his 30 or calls his dad who calls the Foremen

Mouthpiece

☎️Look I know nothing about 1.4 Mouthpiece okay I cannot comment on this

Major Player

🎹He just... runs his show? IDK it seems pretty straightforward to me lol

Firestarter

🔥He's a man made of fire with fire powers... I don't think anyone is wondering how he does his cheats?

Plutocrat

🌑He probably has a remote to control all the stuff in his room like the temperature drops

🌑For deep freeze, I feel like that's just him showering the Toons with snow and ice so they get REALLY cold. Like, colder than they were before to the point their cartoon physics slow them down significantly

Treekiller

🪵I genuinely feel like he's cutting down trees in the middle of the fight and using the fresh lumber to attack LOL

🪵For peeling the bark... uh......... Yeah I don't know

Chainsaw Consultant

🪚RPM meter answers all your questions

🪚IDK he just does the cheats? Like normal attacks?

Featherbedder

💤Handing out melatonin maybe?

💤The rest I THINK is self explanatory? I'm not too familiar with their fight since I've only done it maybe 5 times

Pacesetter

👟He goes fast

👟Gotta go fast

👟Content sync is him shaking everyone's gag pouches

👟Moving goalposts is just him making up imaginary rules for you to get upset over because haha funny