#(both my other standard shoes do which I assume is the problem lol)

[jorvikzelda]

if there’s one thing about me it’s that my shoes are ALWAYS going to set off the beep machine at airport security

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

Moriarty 8 - 11 (FINAL) | HypMic 12 - 13 (FINAL) | Taiso Samurai 7 - 9 | Akudama 9 - 12 (FINAL)

Hopefully I’ll be able to get on to all that backlog soon, because...I don’t want it to keep accumulating and Skate-Leading Stars (first winter 2021 anime) already has an advance 1st ep. up...

Moriarty 8

(Moriarty 8 notes deleted accidentally…)

Moriarty 9

If you want a modern equivalent to the Baker Street Irregulars, then I’d suggest you look this way *jabs finger at Odd Jobs Yamada (from HypMic)*.

These CGI background horse and carriages are…kind of distracting…

I’m guessing back in those days, the Irregulars were better than Google at finding info…because Google didn’t exist until the internet did.

Moriarty 10

Just this ep and one more until the end…at least, until spring 2021.

Wow, the use of colour here is really striking!

White lilies mean…purity/chastity…?

I’ve never heard of “bending someone’s ear” until now. It means to talk to someone, especially to ask a favour or to talk at length.

Probatio diabolica: the devil’s proof. I didn’t even know that was a concept until now…(I never once studied law, as you can tell.)

“William” isn’t normally shortened to “Liam”…It’s normally “Will”…also, notice all the footprints on the floor…

Moriarty 11 (FINAL)

Last ep. before spring 2021.

LOL, kabedon.

The fishy thing about Brits is that they’ve named things across the world names from Britain. I know there’s a Doncaster which isn’t anywhere near Britain, for one thing…

Observe the weird finger-like marking made by one of the bloodstains and the scratches on the suitcase. The latter was probably forced open.

Considering the number of signs the killer left, he was clearly in a hurry…

Well, based on that shoeprint we can find the killer if we can find traces of blood on his shoe.

“Duram” (sic).

Ah! If it was raining in Durham, then there would be traces of mud on the killer’s shoes. I remember early on in Detective Conan Shinichi, then newly shrunk, deduced Agasa was running in the rain based on the mud on his pants…this is similar.

Chloral (hydrate…?).

The “washroom” (apparently a Canadian term, the British term is “water closet”) has privacy and a place to get rid of the evidence, to some extent.

What about the rest of Eddie’s clothes?

Considering there are still 5 minutes of the ep. left…there’s going to be some kind of stinger for the next season. I can feel it.

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait…Director Holmes??? Y’mean, Mycroft?! That is a good stinger! See you next time.

HypMic 12

“Ever since I was born, there was never a time I’d felt I’d accomplished something.” – Aw, Doppo, sweetpea (<- this blogger calls people “sweetpea” when they’re feeling lots of moe feels for them). Please don’t say that. You’ve accomplished more than enough in your life!

…Oh, almost didn’t notice it until Hifumi hid behind Doppo and the angle changed to confirm the jacket was on the bed, but Hifumi doesn’t have his jacket on.

I think I saw a tweet that said something about a wall being wrecked (specifically “Wall: Ow…”) but I wasn’t sure of the context, so I saved it in my bookmarks…LOL, so that’s what it means?

Samatoki, I know you don’t like Ichiro…but please stop trying to preach what his 2nd character song says in the title…(i.e. Break the Wall, LOL)

Jyuto’s very much a “I’ll leave this problem to the other guy” guy.

When the Funi subs say “dame”, I think Samatoki is just referring to an “onna” (woman). It’s a bit of an odd choice, really…although I can’t go and interrogate whoever was responsible for it. I don’t have the authority or the contacts that will allow me to.

This is not the time for fighting one another!!!

Notably, in the manga, Jakurai was going to chaffeur Hifumi and Doppo to their place, but then he had to go to work and so they rode the train with their prize money. This “run from Special Forces” ending is better, I think, since people got grumpy at Jakurai for having to abandon them with the money.

“…permission to cover a story.” - Permission from…who?

*screams* I was thinking Tom, Rex and Iris worked for a foreign government! They work for Ichijiku – why didn’t I think of that?!

LOL, I couldn’t even tell what Tom was saying until I played it back…it’s English, just…said in a spot where you don’t expect it.

“…that scares me.” – This may be nitpicky of me, but osoreru is actually a derivative of osore (fear), so “it strikes fear in me”…? “It strikes fear in my heart”? What would sound right…?

Go, host mode Hifumi! (...but does that imply host mode Hifumi is the only “version” of Hifumi able to rap? Certainly, he was able to do Wrap and Rap without his jacket, right…?)

You can tell Tom still respects Jakurai after all this time because he (the former) calls him (the latter) “Sensei”. Also, this’ll be interesting, we haven’t seen many mics and speakers beyond the standard bad guy ones (depicted in both the anime and the manga).

My gosh! All I knew of this song was that m-flo, also responsible for Human Lost’s theme song (and notably they’re a hip hop group with techno influences), was responsible for this song. Man, this s*** slaps! It’s great! (Sorry, I’ve just never really had the chance to capitalise on all the info I gathered on EDM DJs when talking in terms of things from Japan…m-flo is basically the only act I know which does that, so I’m really excited…can’t you tell from how verbose I’m getting in this note?)

That’s interesting that Matenrou won and Tom still took the gold chair symbolism to represent him and the Secret Aliens as the victor instead.

Iris’s parts are awesome. M-flo has a female vocalist and so I’d assume Iris takes on Lisa’s (m-flo’s vocalist’s) parts.

…Hmm, Gentaro’s made a reference to the track “Me Against the World”, has he?...Maybe.

I’m not quite sure, but I think Ramuda said “majo” (witch) when he was referring to Beauty and the Beast in the English subs.

…gosh, what is up with that airhorn…? Still, next time is the last time. See you on Christmas…no, Boxing Day.

HypMic 13 (FINAL)

This is the beginning of the end and the end of the beginning…y’know, considering how stuff trended on Twitter, I’d say this anime’s gonna get a 2nd season, but you can’t really say that until it actually happens. I mean, Boueibu is much less popular than HypMic and that got a 2nd season…

This is the 1st episode where I woke up early enough to watch without spoilers and had no obligations to place over it, so…this is exciting, in its own sense, but in a sense, it could also be called “profoundly disappointing” because this experience is only available to me as of the final episode.

One of the tweets I saw a few weeks back came to mind – someone became interested in sakuga houkai (terrible animation, literally “animation collapse”) because of HypMic…I don’t know if that’s a good or a bad thing…

…Dude, you probably shouldn’t answer a call from someone who just revealed themselves to be a traitor last episode…*sweatdrops*

(Spoiler for rest of franchise) Hmm…Dice’s face is pretty straight. Assuming at this point we knew Dice was Otome’s son, this is a good poker face from him…!

This thing about gangs was mentioned in their profiles (although the words used implies they “went delinquent”), so it actually doesn’t surprise me.

I wonder if this subway exists in the mainline story…?

According to the next ep. preview I saw on Twitter, TDD will reform to take down the Secret Aliens. I’m not sure if that was a guess or whether that’s true, so I’m waiting for the shoe to drop on it.

Samatoki-san, not -sama. Hmm…

There was definitely the word “team” in Dice’s line, so it’s “what the legendary team was made of”.

…oh gosh…they’re still using that airhorn…?

Again with the play on “lonely thunder”. It’s a really fun pun, but one I’d like to see in the rest of the series more.

Notably, Iris’s rap in English missed the word “charisma” where it could have fit (unless I missed reading it the first time).

Note Samatoki does actually use the word “shinsensa” (freshness), so there’s no lie there.

I still love how much they went in on Rex’s theme, even in his raps.

Huh, that’s new. Never seen a tag team like this before.

It seems Tom’s signature is using a lot of English, which makes it easy for us English/Japanese pair translators.

Saburo didn’t actually say “Ichi-nii”, did he…?

…based on the rock intro, this is Rhyme Anima, the OP, or something that sounds similar. What I’d need to confirm this is the “nautilus” line and the “ends corruption” line, which are the OP’s two biggest tells for AMQ.

“rainmaking” – Hmm, another link from Gentaro to Rei. This might be a different part of Rhyme Anima (OP) that wasn’t used as the OP proper.

“this white light invites and heals” (<- paraphrased) – Sounds like Sensei, alright!

…now that (rainbow bit). That’s sakuga!

*a silhouette appears* - Oh nooooooooooooooo! Now they‘ve done it! They’ve included Rei! That’s more than enough spoilers to last a lifetime for y’all anime-onlys!

I wish someone would work on this collaboration between Saburo and Riou…

Hmm…what is the series endgame? Putting in Dice as the new ruler??? I mean, Dice is the worst possible politician ever. He’s far too lax about things.

*Nemu enters* - No! Nemu!

Not only is Iris a “ramen shop owner”, it’s Tom’s favourite food…No wonder ramen has significance to her.

…ooh! A new song! Update: I don’t know what this song’s name is, although it probably will become clear what its name is on the 13th. I’ll keep my eye on Twitter in case the answer is there.

…I knew it was far too early to say if there was an s2 – the DVD’s live events go until September 5th and the 2nd DRB finishes in March. That almost felt like a stinger right there. Oh well, I’m more than happy to call this anime a success, even if I would call it the worst of the arms of the franchise. All HypMic’s anime had to do was deliver fun, before anything else, and it delivered on that front. See you around!

Taiso Samurai 7

Anime burnout means I’m coming back to the anime after the day it finishes.

This dancing scene is kind of like the one at the start of ep. 2 of IWGP, except it has the owl to represent the setting as well as the dance stage.

Leo doesn’t seem to know kanji or katakana, only hiragana.

Even though this part of the anime is set in London, the characters are still speaking Japanese (lel…?).

LOL, Edward Scissorhands much?

LOL, these background gossips are like the Plastics from Mean Girls…haha.

…LOL, that’s not one of those dismounting moves, is it? It’s just kind of…jumping off the bar.

Lookit how Leo’s sticker is 90 deg. sideways from what it should be, haha.

I don’t think it’s true that Olympic gymnasts have never failed. Like other people at the top of their game, they’re probably failed millions of times, but only outside the view of most of the world. Persistence and passion are what’s key to becoming the best at what you are, no matter what field you’re in.

Now Aragaki’s what I call a “determinator” (see TV Tropes on what that is).

Taiso Samurai 8

Notably, the word used for “clothes” is specifically for Western clothing, like dresses.

Well, now we know why Leo can do those stretches…

They’ve clearly sped up the dance here, but…it’s basically the same sort of movements Yuri on Ice used to suck me in. I’m here for it!

Leo seems to be the type who tries to push away his worries by distracting people (including himself) with other things…I see. I didn’t have much of a grasp of his character beforehand.

Britney! F*** you, Britney!

Ah, that must be the (a?) fabled owl of Ikebukuro. I’ve never actually been to Ikebukuro…the closest I got was Akihabara (to memory) and even then, that was for electronics, not anime…so I’ve never seen the owl statue I’ve been talking about close up.

Rei does kind of look like her mother like this.

Ah! Rei and Kitty have a pair look now! “Twinsies”, they call it.

Amakusa’s head is located right next to Leo’s butt, so I end up staring at it…LOL.

The Hoover mission.

“I <3 Ninja”, LOL.

LOL, “Nyapoo!”

*sighs* The problem with being multi-talented is that you’re going to be told to one day put one passion above the others, even if you don’t want that.

LOL, you can be a ninja with this WikiHow article. (I was looking for Kitty’s quote, but found that instead. It seems to be a quote from one of Tomoyo’s movies.) Update: I was right.

There’s a movie in the back where the title is “Black Rainmaker”. (Tomoyo, I presume) Mifune is the 1st person credited.

Considering this is 2003…you won’t be on Mars in 2013, Kitty.

Wow, a tape! That brings me back to 2003, indeed.

Charlie’s Angels…so that’s what the tape was.

LOL, a shoebill.

“blade in your heart” – That would refer to the character for “ninja”, which has a blade over a heart. Y’know Kiss Shot Acerola Heart-Under-Blade (from Monogatari), yeah? Like that.

…you might think emails were out of place in 2003, but a virus from an email caused me to be an avid reader and that virus was unleashed around the late 90s – early 2000s.

LOL, Kitty’s cat belt buckle.

You said it, Rei. You said it.

Taiso Samurai 9

Lausanne, Switzerland.

I noticed one of the boxes at the start of the OP says “Horizontal Bars”, rather than some random name to make the boxes look like they were discarded.

Someone encoded the video funny…

LOL, BB’s getting possessive of his territory.

Fuku-chan the fukurou (owl) in Ikebukuro…LOL.

LOL, randomly there’s a skeleton with a hat in the background of Britney’s clinic.

Notably, one of the wall hangings says “heart” on it – alternatively, “soul”.

Notably, Atlanta was the 1996 Summer Olympics…there is no 1997 Lausanne Olympics, as far as I know.

Akudama 9

I watched the part where it glitches twice and I can’t quite figure out what that circular symbol is…maybe it’s Hacker’s symbol…?

Ah! Only now they properly confirm Swindler used to work in the Seal centre.

“Life that never dies is defective.” – Doctor

Does that mean Doctor is actually older than she looks, due to plastic surgery…?

Marker? What marker?

Apparently that flower is a cherry blossom…according to Detective Conan.

…I know this anime wasn’t made in America (it wouldn’t be “anime” otherwise), but Anime Feminist is going to have a field day with this one…if they haven’t abandoned it already due to their idea of morals.

…now I can even see parallels between HypMic’s authorities and Akudama’s. Not sure if that’s a good thing or not.

“Why did this have to happen when I’m chief?” – Sounds like…basically every authority during COVID and BLM, to be honest.

See? Akudama likes the S word. I told you.

I haven’t watched The Shining, but reading the synopsis, you can figure out why Cutthroat is the way he is…sort of.

How does the iconic quote go? “Heeeeeeeeeeeere’s Danny!” (or something…?)

They even copied the iconic eye shot! There you go!

Way to take a guy out (with the door, LOL).

…with all this killing, I can see why Akudama Drive was only in one magazine now. (Then again, HypMic was in basically all of them and that also has a tonne of problems…)

Akudama 10

万死 literally means “10000 deaths”.

Babel.

That police chief is such a mood, LOL.

I can see why people didn’t recognise Swindler, but Courier never changes his look, so…uh…

You can’t become a police chief without a sense of justice, no?

“Since when did you know that I’m not-“ - *facepalms*

Is this what they call an “ass-kickin’ Christmas”? (LOL)

Y’know, Sister, you could just do the whole “wherever you are, I’m also seeing the same sky as you” thing some other anime do.

Notably, there are shide (the paper strips) and a rope over the vault…they really do treat the shinkansen and its immortal children as a single god, huh?

Hmm? They don’t care about Sister anymore? Just Brother? (Somewhere along the way, the priorities must have shifted.)

In the end, the best ship is Brawler and Hoodlum (lel).

Akudama 11

One more ep after this. I’m gonna miss this anime, even if it was crazy over-the-top and I didn’t finish it until after the day it ended.

I think the scariest scene in all of Akudama Drive is the one where the “cleaner” tosses the girl aside.

“This nowhere place!” – Around this time, the bunny and shark’s shirts say “morning”/”afternoon” (shark) and “evening” (bunny).

The blue bird of happiness…literally. That character on the birds is the one for “happy”.

…LOL, that one glitched Courier looks more like Cutthroat.

Hacker’s drone matches Courier’s head angles, LOL.

I guess if you think you’re falling in Kanto, you’re falling in Kanto and if you think you’re floating (like Courier did), you float. I always liked that concept.

War Games. Now the title makes sense!

…but they can be together if they stay here in Kanto as vessels for the citizens? (That sounds mighty antagonistic of me, but…that logic does compute.)

Maybe swindlers play games with the truth…? (What an interesting concept.)

“Just fine.” – I think Hacker needs a “This is fine” meme.

“We can hear your heart talking.” – It means something like “We can hear you spouting your true intentions.”

“…worth every last penny…” – That’s a weird thing to say for someone whose life got changed by 500 yen…Just goes to tell you how American the subbers can be sometimes.

Swindler’s smug face is so good, LOL.

Akudama 12 (FINAL)

This episode isn’t named after a movie. It’s named after the anime itself.

The TV says “Please watch away from the TV”, i.e. stand back from the TV while you watch.

“They came and stole the offerings…” – At this point, bunny’s shirt says “freedom” and shark’s says honpou, meaning “wild, uninhibited, rampant, extravagant”.

…where did Shikoku come from? Is that where Swindler and Sister landed after they tried going to the moon?

Ohh! That Christian imagery! That’s scary!

Is Akudama Drive a tragedy? No, I think…on the contrary, it’s a story of hope.

LOL, “s*** guy”.

I thought the girl had a bomb. Turns out she has a gun, which is…far worse, come to think of it.

Instead of red characters which say things about the situation, now Shark and Bunny have Hacker’s symbol on them.

There’s no way anyone who wasn’t immortal would survive the attack Courier took…

…why is it that falling over represents vulnerability in children in all of these stores where a war has happened and/or there’s a chase? Hmm?

Wow, Sister did everything with heels on…?!

Anyways, that was a fun time. See you next time!

[eldritchsurveys]

1047.

1 - Have you ever grown your own fruits or veggies? Did it work out okay or was it a bit of a failure? >> I’ve not tried this, no. Sparrow tries growing stuff on the balcony, with varying levels of success. This year, pests ruined most of them.

2 - Could you ever raise animals only to kill and eat them later on, or would you struggle to kill a living thing you’d formed an attachment to? >> I haven’t had any experience with forming attachments to animals, particularly the kind that would make their death intolerable, so I doubt this would be much of a problem for me. In fact, I think it would be a gratifying experience.

3 - When was the last time you painted your nails? >> It’s been a while.

4 - If you regularly sit in the same place (on your bed or the sofa, for example) do you have a cupboard or something to keep supplies in so you don’t have to keep moving all the time? >> I just commute my water bottle, lip balm, and phone from my nightstand to my desk and back again.

5 - Have you ever been a witness to a crime? Did you have to make a statement to the police? >> No.

6 - Do you prefer Harry Potter or the Lord of the Rings? >> I mean, I don’t see why these two are being pitted against each other, but whatever. I find LOTR more interesting.

7 - Do you like to air your house or room out every day to stop it getting musty? >> I don’t have to, but I like to. I tend to feel like a caged bird if the windows are closed for too long.

8 - Have you ever visited a landmark or place made famous by a TV show or film? Did you go there because it was featured on TV? >> Nope.

9 - Who taught you how to tie your shoe laces? >> My father, one would assume.

10 - Do you have any pets? What are they all doing at the moment? >> ---

11 - Do you prefer sweet or savoury snacks? >> Savoury. I rarely eat anything sweet by itself, unless it’s a fruit. Even then, I’m likely to pair it with something (apples and cheese, for example).

12 - What’s the most painful place you’ve ever had a spot? Was it a big relief when you finally managed to squeeze it? >> I don’t recall having one anywhere particularly painful.

13 - Talking of spots, have you ever watched videos like those by Dr Pimple Popper? Do you think that kind of stuff is cool or gross? >> No, Sparrow loves that kind of stuff but I’m mostly uninterested (although I’d watch it with her if she wanted, just not while I’m eating lol).

14 - When was the last time you attended a bonfire? >> It’s been a long time.

15 - Is there anything you wish you enjoyed, but you just struggle with for some reason? Maybe you hate the crowds or the noise? >> Yes, yes, yes. Many things fall into this category, because I have sensory issues and social issues and those get in the way of a lot of enjoyment in the outside world.

16 - What’s worse - someone constantly blowing their nose or someone who’s constantly sniffing? >> Both of those things are awful for me (although I guess sniffling is slightly worse because you get more sniffs per minute than you’d get blowing per minute), but that’s why god made headphones. *shrug*

17 - Do you have any genuine phobias? What are they and have you ever done anything to address them? >> No.

18 - Do you hate the feeling of being sweaty and dirty from exercise? Is this something that’s put you off working out in the past? >> Yes, absolutely. My sensory issues feel so validated by this survey, lol.

19 - Is there anything “normal” that you have a real aversion to? Like a certain noise or smell or taste? >> I feel like most of the things I have sensory aversion to are things I’m supposed to regard as “normal”. Like the level of noise most people operate on, or strong smells like cologne and candles, or lots of casual touch, etc.

20 - If you’ve made plans with someone and you really don’t want to go when the time comes, do you suck it up or make an excuse? >> Nah, I’ll usually just tell them. They’re welcome to not make plans with me anymore if that’s something they can’t abide, but at least I’ve given them the opportunity to make that choice instead of lying to them. And I’m definitely not going to “suck it up” and ignore my own needs at that moment. I will try my best to keep to the plans I’ve made, of course, but if I can’t, I can’t.

21 - What’s your favourite thing to do with each of your parents? Do you get a chance to do that regularly? >> ---

22 - If you were to adopt a pet, is there anything that would put you off, like a certain colour or breed? >> ---

23 - Would you ever like to give circus skills a go? What would you be most interested in trying? >> No, thanks.

24 - What are your thoughts on circuses that allow animal performances? >> I don’t have thoughts about this.

25 - Are there any habits or traditions you’ve picked up from your parents that you’ve carried on in your own home? >> Probably, but I don’t want to think about it right now.

26 - Are there any remakes that you think are better than the originals? >> Sure, probably.

27 - How about cover songs? Do you prefer any of those to the original versions? >> Yeah, there are a few of these. I’m not getting into specifics because my brain is not in a “dredge up random lists of information on command” mood right now.

28 - What’s the first movie you remember seeing in the cinema? What about the last? >> The Prince of Egypt was the first movie I saw in the cinema (talk about setting a standard!), and the last was Birds of Prey.

29 - Do you listen to more music, or watch more TV? Is this something that’s changed over the years? >> I don’t know which one I do more.

30 - Do you have any weird fears or worries? Like thinking you’ve forgotten to lock a door or blow out a candle? What do you do to reassure yourself you’ve not forgotten? >> Nope.

[beardyallen]

8 Crazy Nights (Part 1) - Captain Marvel, Work, and Food

Not sure if you all saw, but I tried to write this on Saturday...It did not go well. And now it's two days later, more stuff has happened, and documenting everything seems just a million times more daunting.

Nevertheless, he persisted.

However, I'm learning from my past mistakes and posting this in several pieces. Hopefully this isn't being read out of order.

If memory serves, and my memory is sufficiently muddled after the celebrating yesterday, I left off on Thursday, March 7th. The next day, I spent a goodly portion of my day in my office, cracking away at my random pedigree generator algorithm. Super (duper) exciting stuff, I know.

But R showed up that night to go see Captain Marvel at the nearby mall! And, as is apparently tradition when you visit someone's apartment, she brought me a gift. And what sort of gift do you bring a guy like me, you ask? Authentic German beer, obviously! Oh, and mangos, as I had divulged that I've only ever had dried mangos and mango-flavored things. Sadly, the mangos are still sitting in my fridge because I'm not entirely sure how one is supposed to eat them. *shrug*

The mall itself is quite strange (from my limited perspective), and I don't think I've described it yet. In a standard American mall, the jewelry shops are always on corners; here, the jewelry shop (as well as several other shops) are posted up with no walls in the middle of an open space. And approximately 25% of the shops are bakeries or coffee shops. This place really knows how to entice your sweet tooth! R picked up some mini cheesecakes for the trip the next day!! Super (duper) yummy!!

One of the other interesting aspects of the first floor is the manner in which one would buy shoes (there are like...10 "shops" that sell shoes). Once again, the shops have no walls, so you just kind of wander over to a display, the attendants hover around you to see if they can help (presumably?), and after you've picked your shoe, they give you carbon paper with an order, you walk to a desk 5 shops over to pay, then carry the receipt back and attendant who was helping you wipes off the shoes again and exchanges them for the receipt. I suppose it keeps clutter down and eases the shopping experience if you're trying on shoes from different displays? When I bought shoes a few weeks ago, it was quite an ordeal given that I had no idea what the expectations were and we couldn't really communicate with anything other than hand signals, nods, and shrugs.

The second (of five) floors has the supermarket and a plethora of men's clothing shops, half of which are athletic-themed shops like New Balance, Adidas, or knock-off-Air-Jordan, and the other half are more "high-end" clothing shops. Nothing in between. Oh! And more than 80% of the models in the pictures and spreads on the walls are white. Not sure how effective that is when 95% of your clientele doesn't look like that. *shrug* There _does_ seem to be a strong desire here to appear Western, but still...

The third floor is mostly women's clothing, and the fourth floor is partially empty. But the fifth floor has the cinema and food court. One comment about the phrase "Chinese food"...It's immensely inadequate. I don't know how many different cultural regions there are in China, but there's for sure at least 6 unique cuisines, all tied to a particular region. And when I say 6 _unique_ cuisines, even my uneducated, narrow American perspective (and palette) can distinguish between them. That, to me, is probably the biggest problem with describing a restaurant in the States as serving "Chinese food." But hey, I'm just an ill-informed American, so my opinion probably doesn't carry much weight.

The cinema itself was quite impressive as well. You know how when you walk into a cinema in the States, and you get hit with that theater-popcorn smell? It's buttery and savory and only sometimes kind of stale? Well, that didn't happen here. And not because they don't have popcorn, or that they don't serve as much popcorn...I think it's mostly because, as seems to be the case with everything here, the popcorn isn't of the buttery, salty variety. No, this popcorn is green or pink or caramel covered. Drizzled with chocolate syrup or some other sort of confectionary (is confectionary a real word?).

Oh, and it's not just the popcorn that got a make-over. The nachos here are...borderline unrecognizable. And that's not the say that you wouldn't recognize what was placed in front of you, because I think you would, but you just wouldn't recognize it as "nachos." Instead of warm tortilla chips with a cup of hot, sometimes-mildly-spicy cheese sauce and jalapenos and other nacho toppings, here you get a bowl of...warmed up Doritos. That's it. Just Doritos. That have been sitting under a heat lamp. R ordered them and offered me some. I said thanks-but-no-thanks. It was a strange experience, watching someone happily munch on heated up Doritos.

Captain Marvel was exceptional, though! The classic Marvel opening was modified a bit for this film, and if you've seen the movie, you know what I mean. For sure shed some positive number of happy-sad tears. The actors were all exceptional, and I was thoroughly impressed to see how seamlessly the special effects made it look like Samuel L. Jackson was 25 years younger and had both eyes! Crazy!!! Also seeing Phil Coulson return to the big screen was dope, and I loved the post-credit scenes! The music was perfect, too! I just wish the theater had the volume high enough to trigger the strong emotional reactions I'm used to feeling in Marvel movies.

After the movie, I stopped by the beer shop across the street where I met The One to buy a couple bottles of Founders beer. I swear, I had ever intent of enjoying them on St. Patrick's Day...but one of the two was consumed a couple days later, and the other wasn't opened until I got back from the celebration yesterday...and I don't think I would have really been able to appreciate the KBS in that particular state. So I have that to look forward to when I finish teaching tonight!

The next day was spent traveling with my coworkers to the Great Wall, and this seems like a decent place to pause the narrative.

Actually, we'll skip the Great Wall for a minute, and I'll describe the past week. It wasn't terribly eventful, but there are a few mildly-interesting pics. My work week consisted mostly of prepping my students' first exam, along with a practice exam (which I don't like doing, especially at this level). In fact, on Friday, after I finished writing and testing my random pedigree generator, I spent a good portion of time trying to get the numbers of a particular probability problem to work out.

I totally don't look like a crazy math fanatic at all..

When I wasn't working, I spent much of my time reading or playing video games. There's a Communications grad student here who also plays Super Smash Bros. We intend to maintain the friendship State-side as he has a few gamer friends in Denver who play SSB as well. And who have guessed that Petey Piranha would actually be an entertaining fighter?! Like..he's a glorified potted plant, but his attacks are interesting, effective, and rather distinct (see: he's a potted plant). *shrug*

Several of those nights involved take-out from KFC...which just released a new item. Or at least new to me. You'll note some orange fibrous material on the top, some sort of white cream in the middle, and the base is a waffle. Cuz nothing says "Kentucky Fried" quite like whatever the hell that is...(Not that KFC can even call themselves Kentucky Fried, nor is their chicken even real chicken! Sorry guys, someone's gotta say it!! lol)

The waffle itself is quite sweet, as is the white cream. Not sure the intended flavor of the cream, but my best comparison is the sugary drizzle stuff you put on toaster streudels. Struedels? Strueueudels? Not sure how to spell that, and Googling it would require a smoothly operating VPN which I just don't have the patience to deal with right now. And the orange stuff on top? It's dried crab. Which I knew in advance as I'd had it on the hike to the underground river and caves. All-in-all, it surpassed my expectations, but I don't think I'll get it again...

Oh, and dinner on Friday night consisted of lamb spine. Yup. The spine. Of a lamb. Technically, it was lamb spine hot pot, but let's be real: the stand-out contributor isn't the heat or the pot or the brine. It's the spine.

You can see a bunch of vertebrae just boiling away in there. You still use chopsticks, but one of your hands has a plastic glove. Oh! And you can push your chopstick through the hollow center of the vertebra to get at some of the marrow and what we could only assume was part of the spinal cord. I ate mine, but the only other person who was lucky(?) enough to find one didn't partake.

Other than some rather standard beer, CB ordered us a bottle (half a fifth) of some sort of herbal liquor. E, another instructor, mentioned a commercial for the product which seemed to suggest that this was the perfect gift from a marrying-age girl's new fiance to her father upon their first meeting. "Made for the man!" It was somewhere between a whiskey and an amaretto, but the sweet taste was distinctly floral or herbal or something. It was pretty good! Definitely something you sip to enjoy.

I have one more food experience to share, but it fits better in a different part of the story, so I'll stop here and pick up with The Great Wall in my next post.

Sláinte,

BeardyAllen

[bxebxee]

Why Cinderella Is Important To Me, an Informal Essay

There are some feminists who are vocal opponents of Disney princesses like Cinderella. Before I really go into why Cinderella is important (to me), I think it’s important to recognize that without the work of the feminists of the 60s/70s/80s/90s...etc., the world would truly be a worse-off place, and I am FOREVER grateful for all of their contributions. The world is not perfect, and neither is feminism. Older feminists got (and continue to get) a lot of important, good things right, but some of their views concerning Disney princesses in general rubs me the wrong way. (The article linked is from 2006, so take it with a grain of salt. I will reference this later.) 

I think there are some key generational differences in feminist culture of women who were born in the 70s versus women who were born in the 80s, and certainly for all women moving forward. When we are born into a society with a set standard (whatever that standard may be), we respond in a different way, and our priorities/activist attention will be centered on other issues. I recommend that everyone read this really good take by Anne Marie Slaughter concerning women, the workplace, and living. This article does a better job at explaining this than I could ever possibly hope to do. 

I don’t like to block-quote, but this is POWERFUL stuff from Anne Marie Slaughter: 

I owe my own freedoms and opportunities to the pioneering generation of women ahead of me—the women now in their 60s, 70s, and 80s who faced overt sexism of a kind I see only when watching Mad Men, and who knew that the only way to make it as a woman was to act exactly like a man. To admit to, much less act on, maternal longings would have been fatal to their careers. But precisely thanks to their progress, a different kind of conversation is now possible. It is time for women in leadership positions to recognize that although we are still blazing trails and breaking ceilings, many of us are also reinforcing a falsehood: that “having it all” is, more than anything, a function of personal determination.

Okay, now to the fun stuff. 

Let me summarize Cinderella:

Cinderella (Cindy) is a rich, privileged girl who lives with her single-parent father because her mother died when she was just a baby. Cindy lives in a de-facto castle with a Pony. Her dad is hella rich, and since he adores her, she’s probably the sole beneficiary. 

The dad feels guilty that Cindy doesn’t have a mom and then unilaterally decides to marry some woman for the sole purpose of having her act as a mother to his kid. Note: in the Disney movie, it’s expressly stated that Cindy’s dad went out looking for a mom replacement - nothing more. 

The dad dies. Cindyis then “abused and humiliated” by the stepmother and made into a servant in her own home. 

Cindy’s room is in the servant quarters. She hangs out with rodents and birds and basically lives at the whim of her terrible stepfamily. She has no life and does menial labor for people who make her life miserable. 

But One Day, there’s this Ball she wants to go to, and her stepmom is terrible human being who taunts Cindy by saying she can go if she has a dress. Note: this serves two purposes - (1) it’s a way of saying no; and (2) it’s a way of rubbing it in Cindy’s face that she has nothing and is nothing. 

Big theme that’s always repeated and is relatively true is that Cindy stays “kind and good” throughout all of this and perseveres through sheer “goodness” of her heart. Because she’s “kind and good” to the animals, they make a dress for her using the scraps luxury goods lying around the house. 

The stepsisters assault Cindy and rip the dress from her body. This is violent and humiliating, and tbh you should be locked up if you pull this shit! Anyway, they stepfam leave for the ball after twisting the knife and Cindy is miserable and probably at the Brink. 

Important: The Fairy Godmother makes an appearance and saves the day. I want to stress that it is not the prince who ends up saving Cinderella, but rather the Fairy Godmother. Without FairyG, you don’t have a happy ending. 

The Fairy Godmother is the one who presents the magical Deus Ex Machina for Cindy to get her life for one night. But FairyG knows that Cindy is a hot girl who’s been thoroughly sheltered for her entire life, so she gives a curfew of midnight. “The magic will wear out” is such bullshit tbh like just say you don’t want Cindy out too late. 

Cindy loses 1 slipper in her rush to get home, and that sets off the whole Find Cindy arc of the last 1/3 of the movie. 

The prince is so fucking into Cindy omg. He wants to wife her. 

Eventually, the search crew gets to Cindy’s place, but stepmom catches wind that Cindy might be mystery gal. Cindy gets locked in the tower but she breaks free due to the help from her animal friends!!

Stepmom trips the guy holding the glass slipper, causing the slipper to SHATTER so that Cindy doesn’t put it on. But stepmom is a cuck who doesn’t know Cindy is a real bitch with a backup plan. 

Cindy pulls out the spare shoe she has, puts it on, and we montage to the marriage scene and happily ever after. 

The supposed message that is distasteful to a lot of people is that Cinderella is a girl who doesn’t have a dream outside of marriage and aspires to being someone’s wife as her ultimate goal. She escapes one servitude for another. In THIS article, which I linked above as well, the author says this about Cinderella when she talks to her daughter: “It’s just, honey, Cinderella doesn’t really do anything.” 

Cinderella’s "Passivity” Explained: 

Now I agree with a lot of things in that article, but I am purposely pulling out that one quote because it Pisses Me Off when people categorize Cinderella as some jobless shut-in. 

Cinderella wasn’t like this by choice. Her dad died when she was too young to be independent, and her new guardian was a terrible human being who basically kept her around for inheritance purposes. Cindy was not financially independent, nor did she have any power. Let’s really consider her background!!! If her father thought that she “needed” a mother, he probably never taught her anything about finances or her rights (assuming we’re in an era where those existed). Like... I can see he loved her very much, but what it’s a very 1950s thought to assume your kid needs both a mother and a father. (Cinderella was released in 1950 LOL.) 

So Cinderella’s real problems started because her dad made incredibly poor choices related to co-parenting. And for all of the stepmother’s faults, maybe it pissed her off that she was only being wifed because this guy wanted her to act as a glorified nanny for his brat. The stepmother is still terrible though, no excuses. Anyway, it’s evident that Cinderella’s childhood and adolescence were not happy times, and she had very little time to adjust to this new world order. 

x

“Good and Kind” is Misleading: 

Cinderella is part of the union of Nice Princesses, the OG3 of Snow White, Cinderella, and Aurora. You have feisty Disney princesses like Ariel, Jasmine, Rapunzel, Merida...etc., and then you have girls like Cindy. 

One of the main themes of Cinderella that they push really hard is that she’s a good person. She’s kind, hopeful, and doesn’t let the meanness of the world change her. Her purity is related to purity of spirit, where the negative circumstances around her do not turn her heart towards bitterness. Check out this song for the proof. 

I agree that she’s a good person, but throughout the movie you’ll see a lot of places where Cindy gets snarky and shady!!! I mean the FACES that she makes when her stepmother gives her ridiculous chores: 

(You can watch the full vid here. Also, can you believe how hilarious that this face appears right at 4:20? LOL) 

“Good and Kind” doesn’t mean she’s not sneaky when she wants to be. There’s this one scene where Cinderella drops a tray of tea in “surprise” at the news that the duke is going around testing feet sizes of all the maidens. Now, I’ve seen Cinderella balance three loads of laundry while avoiding a nasty cat who always tries to trip her. She didn’t look like she dropped it in surprise because she HARDLY jumped. I guess you can say maybe she was so out of it and surprised that nothing else registered, but my take is that she dropped it on purpose to eavesdrop on the stepmother. 

Cinderella’s version of sneaky is also kinda funny too because when she escapes the tower, she has that other glass slipper with her. A Real Bitch Is Always Prepared!!!! And she had the nerve to chirp “if it would help~~~”

I love her. 

x

Cindy is Not Perfect:

The one thing I will say about Cindy is that she is Naive. She is Naive as HELL. She does try to believe in the goodness of all people/animals, and she gives people the benefit of the doubt. But she’s terrible at hiding her emotions when she’s happy. She’s transparent as Glass whenever she’s in a good mood, and she gets Radiant. The stepmother cannot stand this, and it kills her to see Cinderella happy. 

The only reason Cinderella gets locked in the tower right before the duke shows up with the slipper she left behind is because the stepmother notices Immediately when Cinderella is happy. The stepmom has this sixth sense for it, and she puts together two and two to figure out that Cinderella was the Mystery Gal from the ball. 

x

The Prince is Irrelevant:

People also dislike OG3 princess movies because the prince “saves” the princess for her happily ever after. I want to stress that it was the Fairy Godmother who was the mvp in all of this. The prince is an Afterthought, and he was a happy accident for Cinderella, but the person who made it all possible was the Fairy Godmother. 

I will always say that Cinderella was craving a life, not a man.

But back up for a second because frankly... Cinderella getting with the fucking prince is Peak Revenge on her terrible stepfam. I mean you have Cinderella who has lived the better part of her life as an abused servant-orphan suddenly getting married to the prince, who will probably have political and financial power over these terrible people. Also, can the stepfam do any better than the royal family? Probably not. Even at the ending, Cinderella flat out kisses the king’s head as if he was a child. The duke is probably pissing himself over keeping her happy because she basically saved his life by pulling out that the shoe letting him complete his task successfully. She has EVERYONE in the royal family eating out of her palm.

x

Conclusions: 

On a personal level, I feel emotional fondness for Cinderella because she hangs in there. She endured a lot of bullshit, but she eventually got out. That’s the happy ending that gives me hope. Marriage/finding a man is not what drives satisfaction of that movie. We cheer because Cinderella gets to leave her abusers behind in the dust while living her best life. 

SHE LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER! 

The End!

[motherlyra]

Chapter 49: Club Day

The song in the chapter is The Fly by Cosmo Sheldrake. I recently discovered these guys and I’m obsessed with their music, so I had to include it, especially since it fits so well.

In case you guys were wondering why I was so detailed with this club’s design, this is based off of the only real dance club/bar/place I’ve ever been to, and it was so much fun and totally not a cult or anything.

Warnings: Lots of stuff happens lol, it’s 10 pages my dudes. Lots of pain, confusion, panic, blood, guns, knifes, ect. Have fun yelling at me later please

[Sans Days/Nights]

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You stepped onto the sidewalk and glanced back, seeing Sans watching you nervously. A car honked behind him, making him jump slightly in the seat. You give him a quick wave and he drove off, leaving you in front of the club on your own. Well, Gaster was in your shadow, but you sure felt like you were on your own.

No turning back now.

You faced Man-Made again, quickly tucking your doubts to the back of your head, and stepped towards the door, and the bouncers stepped in your path.

They crossed their arms and looked down at you, and you suddenly noticed how very tall they were compared to you. You also realized that you were wearing your casual clothing- nothing you would associate with clubbing.

“I'm meeting some friends here.” You spoke up, somehow able to keep your voice stable. One of the guys raised an eyebrow at that.

“ID.” The other spoke. Holes in your plan were appearing faster than you thought.

“Uh-” You blinked. You quickly recovered, patting your pockets quickly more for show than anything else. “I must have forgot it…” You raised your hands in an attempt of a shrug, and both of the bouncers immediately grabbed your arms.

You had a moment of pure terror, before both of them flicked the cap off of a sharpie, and marking fat black X’s on the back of your hands.

“No ID, no drinks.” The other guy said, and both of them released you before stepping out from the doorway, giving you space to enter.

“R-right. Thank you.” You tried to keep your heart from racing right out of your chest, and taking your first steps into the building.

The doorway somehow kept most of the noise from escaping the club, but soon as you were in the volume of the place increased drastically. It was almost uncomfortably loud in here- though it was a lot smaller than you thought. In fact, it didn’t match the pictures on google at all. You looked around the average sized room, seeing four tall round tables surrounded by fancy stools, a single bar, and two bartenders. Less than a dozen people were in here, some bobbing to the music but a majority seemed to just be standing and talking quite loudly to each other.

A small group of people walked in from the corner of the room, and you realized it was a partially disguised entryway for the rest of the club. Acting as casual as you could, you made your way to the corner of the room, and felt yourself inhale when you saw the next part of the bar.

It was utterly massive.

It had to be at least eight times bigger than the first room, complete with a lowered dance floor, flashing lights, multiple couches, low tables, and TVs lining the walls. There was a huge bar on the far wall with three more bartenders, and dozens of people here all dancing their brains out with varying skill levels. A song was playing that you haven’t heard before, and while it seemed catchy, you didn’t know it would be this popular with the dance floor.

Little Fly, Thy summer's play My thoughtless hand has brushed away.

Am not I a fly like thee? Or art not thou a man like me?

For I dance and drink, and sing. Till some blind hand shall brush my wing. If thought is life and strength and breath And the want of thought is death;

Then am I a happy fly, If I live or if I die.

Then am I a happy fly. If I live, or if I die.

Someone stumbled past you to get onto the dance floor and spilt some fruity alcohol onto your foot, though they didn’t seem to notice and walk right through the middle of the dance floor. A couple other girls saw the drinks and cheered loudly. The coldness seeped through your shoe, acting as a quick reminder that you were here to do a task, not gawk at the dance floor.

You started walking along the raised walkway around the dance floor, trying to look for any clues to what this place had to do with your apartment. No one here was wearing any HP patches… though you did notice a lot of [M-M] logos everywhere, some people even wore jewelry of the logo. You noticed along the walls there were two staircases on opposite sides, one with a standard bathroom sign pointing up, the other with a door blocking the narrow stairway a few steps up. You kept walking around till you were on the other side of the dance floor, and saw some wide stairs leading down.

Looking past the stairs, you saw that they went down just enough to have two wide openings on both sides, before the stairs went up again and led to what looked like another entryway of the club. You quietly (not that it really mattered, with the booming music and all) stepped down to the lower floor, seeing on the left side was another smaller bar with a single bartender and a couple of tables, and on the right side was a small room with a pool table with a group of guys surrounding it and laughing loud enough to be heard over the music. Figuring you weren’t going to get any answers here, you turned to go back up to the dance room.

“-and like I said, the dent in the hood was totally worth it! You should have seen the dust just fill the air!” You froze, hearing one of the guy’s voices loudly brag to the others. You peeked back into the room, seeing it was the one with blonde hair in the stereotype douche haircut that was talking. “Those monsters should know the law! If the walk signal was at twenty seconds already, you aren’t suppose to cross the road! I was just enforcing the law!” The others laughed loudly at that, as if it was a hilarious joke and not about murdering a monster.

Your jaw tightened, along with your fists, and you turned to walk into the room. You felt pulled back, and when you looked you saw a holed pale hand wrapped tightly around your arm, darkness extending from your harsh shadow against the wall.

“They are not worth it.” Gaster’s voice whispered, yet somehow loud enough to be heard over the music.

“Didn’t you hear him?” You said in a hushed tone back to the shadow, assuming volume wasn’t important.

“I did. We are here for a reason, or have you forgotten? If you fight them now, not only will you not prove anything to them, but you will compromise our plan as well. It is worth noting that there are five of them and only one of you. You throw a punch at them, you will lose. You will be kicked out of this establishment, presumably in a worse state.” He paused. “Your safety should come first, no matter the insult.” Gaster reasoned, keeping his grip on you tight. You let his words settle in his mind, before relaxing your fists. He let go, and his hand vanished in the shadow. “Smart choice.”

You nodded, gritting your teeth at the fact he was right. As much as you wanted to pick a fight, there was no chance of you winning, or even changing their thoughts. Doesn’t mean they don’t deserve a punch to the face. You were about to leave back up to the dance floor, before you noticed a mostly empty beer bottle sitting on the lowest stair by your foot. Before Gaster could realize what you were doing, you quickly grabbed the bottle and hurled it at the douche’s head.

You were already running up the stairs by the time you heard crashing sound, which was quickly followed by some swears. “Less smart of a choice.” You heard Gaster’s voice whisper as you quickly side stepped between a group of people and hopped down onto the dance floor, immediately dancing to the current playing song as best as you could without paying attention to what song it was. A moment passed, and the guys rushed up from the stairs and looked around, but they didn’t know who they were suppose to look for. You felt a small smile creep onto your face when they shrugged and argued at each other, eventually turning back to the stairs. The douche rubbed his jaw line. It wasn’t bleeding or anything, so in your head it was the equivalent to a punch. Good.

You kept dancing for another few moments, wanting to make yourself seem casual as possible in case the guys came back. After a while, you didn’t see the guys, but you did see someone with a jean jacket and a HP patch walk along side of the dance floor, followed by another guy with a [M-M] black logo shirt. The two of them walked up the the little stairway that had the door, and the guy with the logo shirt unlocked it for the HP person, locking it behind them and standing against the wall with his arms crossed.

“We might have luck up there.” You mumbled. “Though we need a key…”

“Bump into the guard.” Gaster instructed.

“For a distraction?” You asked to clarify, slowly dancing your way across the floor.

“Just a small one.”

You nodded, stepping back up on the normal floor and looking around for the best way to do it. You pat your sides, and felt the familiar rectangle of your lighter, but you didn’t think that was probably the smartest idea at the moment. Slightly sighing to yourself, you decided to keep up the poor dancing, slowly making your way over to the guard. Once you were close enough, you “lost your balance” and bumped into him.

“Oh, I’m so sorry!” You quickly exclaimed, standing straight and acting embarrassed. The man smiled at you, shaking his head.

“‘Ain’t no problem. No harm done! Just try to keep the dancing to the dance floor, if you don’t mind.” He motioned to the lowered floor, and you quickly nodded.

“Thank you, and sorry again!” You added, quickly stepping down to the dance floor again, and started dancing in the crowd once more.

“You are quite the actor.” Gaster whispered a quick compliment, and you suddenly felt more weight in your pocket. You pat it from the outside, and felt the lump of a few keys in it. You couldn’t believe that worked. Now just to wait until you guys could get to the door without raising suspicion…

Turns out, that opportunity came quicker than you thought. It wasn’t even a full minute before the guard put a finger to his ear, listened to something, before walking towards the front of the club. Not wanting to waste the chance, you quickly made your way to the door.

“Talk about good luck.” You mumbled to Gaster as you scrambled to find the key that fit the door.

“There is no such thing as luck.” Gaster replied plainly, voice untrusting of the turn of events. Third key try was the fit, and you quickly opened the door and went up the stairs, locking the door behind you.

Behind the door was more narrow steps up, and once you got to the top the area opened up again, revealing that this was the area above the dance floor where the DJ and the light controls were. There were a few people sitting further in the room, deep in conversation, along with an older man DJing, completely involved with the music and looking over the dancers to notice you. You snuck past him and the others, seeing yet another stairway up.

The top of the stairs led up to a wide hallway with flickering fluorescent lighting. If it wasn’t for the bass of the music seeping in from below, you could have guessed this was just some sort of business office.  

“Maybe you should grab Sans now…” You whispered, seeing doors up ahead along the sides of the hallway.

“Excellent idea. I will be right back. Do not move an inch.” He instructed, and you felt almost like gravity got ever so slightly lighter around you. A couple moments later, Gaster and Sans appeared beside you. Sans immediately hugged you before taking a step back.

“You sure were taking your time.” He half joked, but you could see his eyes looking around just slightly faster than usual.

“I had no idea what to expect.” You said, shrugging slightly. “I still don’t know what’s ahead. Far as I could tell this is just a xenophobic dance club, and we are totally trespassing right now man.”

Gaster chuckled at that.

“Oh this is quite the xenophobic establishment, that is certain. Can you not smell it?” Gaster looked down at you questionably.

“Smell...?” You questioned. Gaster’s eyes lowered slightly before he glanced back towards the hallway.

“Love.” Sans clarified in a tone that made it clear he wasn’t talking about the fluffy feeling in your gut. “This place reeks of dust.” You didn’t know what they were talking about, it smelt like any other building you’ve been in, though maybe more alcohol hanging in the air than usual.

“I do believe we have company.” Gaster announced quietly, taking a step to the side. You saw two men talking to each other walk out of one of the rooms, before suddenly noticing you three.

“Ay what the fuck! How’d those monsters get in ‘ere?” One of them yelled, the other quickly taking a step back and grabbing for something tucked in the back of his pants.

“Gun.” Gaster warned, vanishing and appearing behind the two men instantly. The one reaching for the gun was kicked towards you, his pistol skittering to the floor. The other one swiped at Gaster, a flash of silver catching your eye. Knife.

“Gaster, watch it!” You shouted- only to see a bone materialize and hit the knife wielder square in the gut. Sans stepped forward, motioning and sending another bone at the man to knock the knife out of his hand. The man fell backwards into the room he came out of, and you managed to see two more people in patched jean jackets in the room, abruptly standing from the table they must have been having some sort of meeting in.

“Keep back!” Sans warned you before stepping forward to make more bones, distracting one of the men as Gaster gracefully stepped into the room and blocked your view.

You heard a groan, and saw the man that originally had the gun picking himself up off of the ground. He spotted the pistol between the two of you, and scrambled towards it. You panicked, kicking the gun to the side out of his reach, and grabbed it before he could. You pointed it at his head, and he froze.

Your hands shook, realizing you were pointing an actual gun at a man.

His eyes flickered past you for a moment before he smiled, and slowly sat up with his hands up. You felt like you were getting tunnel vision. “Come’on… I won’t hurt you. Just put the gun down-” As he spoke, you saw a flash of purple from behind you. You took a slight step back in surprise, felt a tightness stretch behind your back, and felt the gun recoil in your hands.

The man collapsed in front of you in a bloody heap. The realization of what just happened made your stomach turn upside down, tightness surrounded your stomach. Before you could fulfill your stomach’s request of emptying itself, you felt a cold pain stabbing into your back, and had the sensation of drowning.

You blinked, and the pain was gone.

The man was alive.

The gun wasn’t fired.

You heard the slightest sound of a step behind you, and you quickly turned to see a woman holding a large butterfly knife. Between you and her was a thin purple thread, faintly glowing. She didn’t see it, and instead rushed at you. You yelled, trying to stop the knife with your gun-holding hand instead of shooting her, and felt a slash on the back of your hand. The gun clattered to the ground as more of the pain registered, and the woman held a crazy look in her eye. She stepped forward again, swinging wildly, only for darkness to appear in front of you.

The knife plunged deep into the side of Gaster, only for him to look down at it in disdain. “Pity.” He uttered. “Look away, human.” He looked over his shoulder at you, his orange haloes trapping you in them for a moment before you did as he said without a thought, turning away just in time to hear the scream and a sound you didn't know existed outside of video games or movies.

You quickly blinked and shook your empty thoughts out, turning to see a splatter of blood along the walls and floor. Gaster blocked most of the view, so you couldn’t see what exactly what he did, but your stomach still tightened at the sight of the red. You instinctively brought your hands to your mouth, eyes wide and unbelieving.

“Oh my god…” You uttered, the entire situation slowly settling heavy on your mind and gut.

“Human.” Gaster’s voice had a hint of a warning to it.

“Did… Did this actually… Did we…” You felt your chest heaving as you glanced towards the room, seeing even more red. You shook your head and pressed your hands more against your mouth. “I… I…”

“Human.” Gaster’s sharp voice got your attention, and his orange haloes burned in his sockets, completely drawing you into the centers of his eyes. You didn’t have it in you to resist the pull this time. “Be calm.”

And you were.

You felt your hands lower, and your breathing returned to normal.

Sans stepped out of the room, flipping through a couple of stained wallets, pulling out one of the IDs and looking at it. “They’re HP alright, looks like this-” He looked up, and his neutral eyes widened with offense when he saw you. “Gaster-”

“They were unstable. Not what we needed in this situation.” Gaster quickly explained, putting his hands up and taking a step back. That excuse didn’t sit well with Sans. His hands drew into fists.

“Then calm them down the regular way! Don’t use your magic on my human.” Sans’ pin lights vanished and the left one started glowing blue. You could feel the magic grow thick in the air.

You couldn’t bring yourself to be concerned about it, however.

“What the hell is with all of the-” One of the doors further down the hallway opened up, and a familiar man with a broken nose and grey leather jacket walked out with a gun mid-pull. When he saw the horrific mess in the hallway, the gun snapped back into place. “Oh. Well, I’m sure this is awkward.” He said, casually motioning as if having a pleasant conversation, before abruptly raising a gun and firing it in your direction.

Your eyes barely had the time to register the dark mass of Gaster appearing in front of you before he fell heavily to the ground, yelling out. Another shot rang through the air and you saw Sans teleport out of the corner of your eye.

Leader Prick, as you recognized him, quickly turned and ran down the hall. You couldn’t think about what you were doing, and charged after him. You heard Sans shout something, but you were focused on Leader Prick opening the door wide for himself, and closing it with a slam before you were anywhere close to it.

His mistake.

You could feel the magical calmness break away from you, and you brought your mind to focus on what little of the room you saw before he closed it. You felt the needles scratch over your skin as you continued to run at the door. “Something scary… Something scary…” You muttered to yourself, trying to get yourself to teleport.

“No! Nonono, Bro, stay with me!!” You heard Sans’ panicked voice behind you. That did the trick.

The needles sharpened across your skin and your felt yourself pulled forward, seeing the elegant room form in front of you. Lovely desk, chairs, even a fancy water cooler in a corner. The whole room seemed out of place compared to the bar-

The needles then suddenly converged onto your leg.

You screamed, your vision blurring with white as the pain intensified and you half collapsed as your hands went to grab where the pain was, only to slam against wood. Your vision cleared slightly, and you saw where your thigh met the solid door, or rather, where your leg went through the door.

Through the ringing in your ears, you could hear laughter. You gasped in air and continued crying out from the pain, only to feel cold metal under your chin and lift your head to face the Leader of HP.

“Why… Wouldn’t you look at that.” The Leader had a half smile as he stepped back, resting the robotic arm he used to lift your chin on his shoulder like a club.

“...Darling?” Mettaton’s voice asked quietly, and you could see him laying in the far corner of the room without any limbs. He looked okay, other than the fact his arms and legs were missing, and a small puddle of oil under him.

“Shut it, Gearhead!” Leader shouted, pointing the metal arm at Mettaton. “I’ve been waiting forever to make dialogue with the pet that broke my pretty face and stole my meals, and you ain’t gonna ruin that for me.” Mettaton grew quiet, and the Leader turned back to you. He fixed the collar of his jacket, and you saw some dust float into the air at the action.

“... Go on.” He motioned to you, and you realized he was waiting for you to say something. No words could form in your head, the pain of your leg overriding all of your thoughts. “Come on, ask me! I’ve waited so long to reason to you about why I am the way I am!” He smiled and took a step back, still waiting for you to question him.

“Fine, you don’t need to ask, I’ll just explain.” His hand whipped around and he grabbed a chair from behind him, pulling it up till he could sit on it. “I’m not against you, pet. I’m for the both of us! Don’t you see? When was the last time you’ve heard news on the radio ‘bout racists? Cops, mayors, presidents, random acts of violences, what have you?” He asked, motioning wildly with the metal arm. He waited, and you actually tried to think back on it.

“Been a while, ey? A few months, at least, right?” He leaned forward, tapping your head with the arm. “Think about it, pet. Humans always gotta be fighting something, else we fight each other. Racists, rebellions, war, everything! All of that, is just based on that little fact. Humans need to fight to survive, else, we kill each other off! Isn’t that all sorts of messed up?” He philosophize, spinning himself in his chair.

“So I’m doing my part in making sure we survive.” He stopped spinning, and looked at you with purpose. “As long as we are fighting them, we don’t need to be fighting each other. Don’t you see? I’m saving us, by teaming us up against them.” He said excitedly, as if he discovered the cure for cancer.

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing, and he seemed to see that by your face.

“What? Come’on, don’t look at me like that! You know I’m right, deep down! Letting people use their human nature to fight against others is healthy, and as long as it’s against those things, then no one is hurt by it! Just some extra dust lying around, who cares?” He asked with a shrug, and the pit in your stomach grew. “What do you say?”

It took all of what was left of your willpower to not simply keep crying from the pain, and instead you inhaled and shakily said, “Go... to Hell.” You weakly spit at his direction, unable to put in the power to actually reach him.

He didn’t seem impressed by that. “I suppose having you stuck there isn’t helping your judgement. Shame. The fact you just helped murder a few of my most loyal followers puts you in a rather poor light in the eyes of the law, I could have helped you out if you thought it was in your best interest of survival. Oh well.” He stood up and started walking to the far desk. “No no, don’t get up. Allow me. I’ll call-”

Whatever he was saying was cut off by you pulling out his soul.

His burning, red, soul.

“Well… would you look at that.” He laughed, putting his hands up to either side of his soul and facing you again. “You are full of all sorts of tricks, aren’t you?” He smiled grabbing the soul with one hand and holding it up like an apple.

“Rumor has it that Red Souls are rather special. Rumor also has it that you, pet, have one as well?” He asked, other hand reaching behind him. “You know what, because of this little development, let’s make a little wager. You win, you can continue on your silly little life of being a pet and aiding in humanity destructing itself. I win, and I get to keep all of my loyal followers, and we save humanity my way. Deal?”

You didn’t understand, but he didn’t wait for an answer anyway. He pulled out a knife and plunged it into his soul, immediately collapsing.

“HIC!”

The hiccup completely disrupted your thoughts, causing you to pause in your steps and gather yourself for a moment, and looked at Gaster and Sans, who were standing close to the doorway and looking at you with concerned faces.

“Oh… Sorry, lost my train of thought.” You shook your head, and realized your headache vanished. Your mouth opened without your permission for another hiccup, so strong you almost had to take a step back. “Wow those came out of nowhere.” You commented, feeling rather confused on the hiccups. Another one came, quieter than the last ones, but still as shocking.

Gaster and Sans looked at each other, seeming to say something through their eyes alone.

“That didn’t go as planned.” Gaster uttered. He glanced around Alphy’s apartment rather tiredly, bringing a hand up to his forehead.

“What didn’t?” You asked.

[chloe-elizabeth-price]

0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 16 17 18 20 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 37 38 40 41 42 43 and 44

Wow, almost all of them, huh, @annoyinglyuniquebread? I’ll put it under a read-more as to not hit everyone with walls of text but read if ya feel like it…Okay, here we go!

0. Height 

I’m 5′1 just like Carrie Fisher/Princess Leia!

1. Age

I’m 21, but my birthday is in February so pretty soon I’ll be feelin’ 22! *Dances horrendously*

2. Shoe Size

 I’m a 5 in US sizes I think…?

3. Do you smoke?

I do not

4. Do you drink?

Well yes, it’s important to stay hydrated kids, my drink of choice is coke or tea…But I assume this is asking if I drink alcohol which I do not do

5. Do you take drugs?

Once again I assume this is referring to illegal drugs and not meds, I do not do any of those. However I do take antidepressants and sleeping pills for my anxiety-related insomnia/the occasional anxiety-suppressor.

6. Age you get mistaken for?

As I’m pretty short and thin (+ you tend to look smaller in a wheelchair which i occasionally use) I’d say people tend to assume I’m a lot younger than I am. If asked my age most people tend to guess around 15, or at least they did when I was in my late teens, no one has guessed my age in a while so maybe i look older these days? idk lol

7. Have tattoos?

I do have a tiny lightening bolt on my wrist, it’s a Harry Potter reference/a symbol for my general love of stories.

8: Want any tattoos?

I do definitely want more tattoos in the future, I haven’t really decided on placements yet but I know that I want a Buffy-B (a B in the Btvs-font) on my other wrist so that my two fandom tattoos can match in placements. I also want a fox somewhere and “fearless” in Taylor Swift’s handwriting to remind me of her brilliant definition of the word: (”To me, fearless is not the absence of fear. It’s not being completely unafraid. To me, fearless is having fears. fearless is having doubts. Lots of them. To me, fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death.”)   which I think will help with my anxiety. Those are a few of the tattoos I know that I want to get at some point, but there’s always room for more options since I really like the idea of a lot of tattoos!

9: Got any piercings?

Nope, not even pierced ears

10: Want any piercings?

Not really, no

11: Best friend?

@gay-grandma

12: Relationship status?

Single, sapphic and sad

13: Biggest turn ons?

As far as personality and little things go I’d say people who listen and respect my opinions and my view of a situation, but also aren’t afraid to say what they think/voice their opinions I guess. Also like, when people are genuine with their affection and you can tell that they just genuinely care for you I guess? Geez this sounds cheesy! As for physically, I’m gonna say collarbones…Is that weird? I feel like that’s weird…Not necessarily seeing collar bones (malnutrition isn’t sexy, kids!) but just like biting or kissing them I don’t even know! Maybe I have a few kinks too, but this is already officially TMI and I’m gonna stop………..   

14: Biggest turn offs?

Bigoted or small-minded people honestly, nope not gonna interact!

16: I’ll love you if…

You respect me, seduce me with your nerdiness and/or let me introduce you to nerdy stuff (Movies/shows/books/games etc) I like and most importantly, genuinely seem to like me tbh, I don’t ask for much…

17: Someone you miss

I live pretty far away from my family for school so I find myself almost constantly missing them and my dog :( Also you and your stupidly pretty face, @annoyinglyuniquebread I can’t believe it’s gonna be so long until I get to see you!

18: Most traumatic experience?

Probably something emotionally abusive at the hands of my biological dad or his wife but honestly I’ve repressed most of it and I don’t really wanna talk about that sooooo………*shudders* Anywayyyy

20: What I hate most about myself?

Too many things to list to be honest. I’m not trying to sound negative, but I do have a lot of issues when it comes to how I view myself, but I am working on them and am hoping to be getting to a place where I can honestly say that I don’t think I suck in the near future, wish me luck!

22: What I want to be when I get older?

Author! I wanna write, write write! If ONE kid picks up a book I’ve written and it helps them in any way at all or sparks that love of stories in them that has become my own driving force, then my goal in life has been achieved!

23: My relationship with my sibling(s)

Okay, so I have 4 siblings, two older sisters and two younger brothers. My relationship to my sisters are pretty much your standard sibling-situation, we grew up together and occasionally we wanted to murder each other, but most of the time we got along and now as adults we’re all pretty close even though I live far away. My brothers are a more complicated situation, due to my nonexistent relationship with my biological father I haven’t actually seen my little bros in years, I hope that we’ll be able to have some type of relationship one day, but as long as they live with dad I don’t see that as possible, although I love them and would love to be a proper big sib to them someday!

24: My relationship with my parent(s)

My mom is absolutely one of the most important people in my life, I love spending time with her and she’s the one I go to first if any problem, big or small arises in my life, we’ve always been extremely close and she’s quite simply my best friend. My step-dad (who I tend to refer to as dad most of the time) has been in my life since I was 4 and he’s more of a father to me than my biological dad (who i don’t even view as my ‘dad’ at all) ever was or could ever be. I love him with all my heart, he’s the best and one of the funniest people I know! I’d say generally I’m very, very close to both of my parents and they’re both extremely important to me and here I am getting sappy at 2AM. 

25: My idea of a perfect date

Movie/Show marathon and cuddling with snacks tbh

26: My biggest pet peeves

When the cover/general appearance of a book on my shelf doesn’t match what the rest of the books in that series look like…All my books have to match if they’re part of the same series or I freak the fuck out honestly! That’s really the only pet peeve I can think of at the moment.

27: A description of the girl/boy I like

I kinda really like @annoyinglyuniquebread but don’t tell her, it’d just get to her pretty head and she’d probably tease me about it and I’m shy!

28: A description of the person I dislike the most

Wow, has someone told the oversized cheeto running America that he has a giant dead cat on his head yet orrrrr…?

29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend?

I can’t think of a specific situation in which I’ve done this just now, but chances are if you’re my friend I’ve probably lied to you and told you I was sick so I wouldn’t have to hang out with you that day, it’s not that I don’t WANNA hang out, I love you I promise…it’s just my very awkward introverted ass not being sure how to tell you that I need to reschedule because my social battery is drained and that I am going to physically explode if I have to be around humans for the next few days, without sounding like a hermit and/or hurting your feelings soooo…Yeah, sorry about that!

30: What I hate the most about work/school?

That it ruins the fun of learning with all those deadlines and gives me performance anxiety about stuff I’d normally be good at/comfortable with doing…

31: What my last text message says?

“Night, I love you

32: What words upset me the most?

Any type of uninformed, ignorant hate speech, when someone is being bigoted in my presence it always makes me feel like I want to scream and/or cry 

33: What words make me feel the best about myself?

When people compliment my hair, clothes or writing it really makes my day every time without fail! Also when people use my chosen name and pronoun it makes me feel like I could take on the whole world on my own and win, so thank you SO much to everyone in my life who make an effort to do that every day!!

34: What I find attractive in women?

Um, everything about them, i mean have you SEEN girls??? I love being a lesbian; ladies, you’re all so beautiful I wanna squeal just thinking about it!

35: What I find attractive in men?

Them being Harrison Ford. If you are male, but not Mr. Ford I’m sorry but I’m simply not attracted to you at all and won’t date you. Sorry men, I don’t make the rules. However, if you’re reading this, Harrison from ca 1980 (why would you be?) hit me up!

37: One of my insecurities?

Too many to list again, but like I said, I am working on that! 

38: My childhood career choice

Author, not much has changed, huh? I’ve actually known what I want to be since I was like 5.

40: Who I wish I could be?

A happier, more secure version of myself…Or you know Han Solo/Veronica Mars/Kim Possible, that works too!

41: Where I want to be right now?

Right at this moment I’m pretty happy here under the covers in my big comfy bed listening to Taylor Swift with my laptop in my lap and answering all these questions. Even though I’m having a pretty bad case of insomnia I feel pretty content, a little hungry tho…Think I’m gonna go make noodles and finish Stranger Things when I’m done answering these! 

42: The last thing I ate

Some salted caramel chocolate a while ago, it was delicious!

43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately?

Well I’d be cheating on my wife if I didn’t say Sarah Michelle Gellar, wouldn’t I? Although there are a few other candidates as well…

44: A random fact about anything

Did you guys know that @annoyinglyuniquebread aka Bella is really cute and awesome and great at holding hands? Well, if you didn’t there’s a random fact for ya!

Wow, that sure was a lot of questions, but it was fun to answer them all! Thanks for sending them, Bella

[eldritchsurveys]

741.

Do you have any stuffed animals from Build-a-Bear Workshop? >> Yes! I have a stuffed dog named Reese. He was white when we bought him... but you know how that goes, lol. When was the last time that you ate fruit? >> Does an applesauce pouch count? That’s where the majority of my fruit intake comes from, since I’m too paranoid to enjoy fresh fruit. Can you pat your head and rub your tummy at the same time? >> Yeah. Do you listen to country music? >> Sure, some. Are you the generic person? >> This is a funny question because it reminds me of my reply to Lane just an hour ago about how I don’t have/do most of the main stuff that surveys ask about, and like he said, without any of that stuff I barely even qualify as a person by survey standards lmao. I guess that means I’m definitely not the generic (which I assume is being used to mean “average” here) person.

Have you ever had your palms read? >> Nope. Do you know what a fuzzy navel is? >> Yeah, some sort of cocktail. Don’t know what-all is in it, though. Do you like peaches? >> Sure. But you’ll never catch me biting into one because paranoia. Do you have in fruit trees in your backyard? >> I don’t have a backyard. When was the last time your lawn was mowed? >> Lawn maintenance hasn’t started up at the apartment complex yet, because the season hasn’t yet changed. So I guess the last time would be October or so. Have you ever been hit in the face really hard? >> Yeah, when I was a teenager. Do you hate anyone? >> No. Do you like fingerpainting? >> I don’t think I would enjoy it, because I don’t like having stuff all over my hands like that. Are you sick? >> I am not. Do you use flashlights when there is a blackout? >> I haven’t experienced a blackout longer than a few minutes in so long that I mostly forget they even exist. We don’t have flashlights, though, so I guess we’d be using our phone flashlights and candles if a blackout were to happen right now (or, rather, tonight, since it’s not a problem in the daytime). Do you like black coffee? >> Yeah. I don’t drink it, though, because of the caffeine. Have you ever stolen from a store before? >> Yes. Do you like the color yellow? >> I like gold, which is in the yellow family, I guess. There are some other yellow hues I like, too. Do you like calm, pretty colors or wild, bright, flashy colors? >> I like both, but I can bear less-saturated colours in greater abundance and for longer than I can bear neons and other hyper-saturated hues. Do you collect coins? >> No. When was the last time you rode a bike? >> It’s been a long time. I got one a couple of years ago but then I realised exactly how out-of-shape I’ve become since moving here and was demoralised. Sometimes I think about those days riding across Brooklyn and through Prospect Park without a care and I’m just. Sad. Have you ever walked on stilts? >> No. Is there anything orange on your computer screen? >> Nope. Do you use Dial-up? >> Well, that dates this survey. Who was the last person that you called? >> --- How many letters are in your middle name? >> Six. Do you collect seashells? >> I’ve done so, in Far Rockaway and such. Have you ever been to New York City? >> As two of the answers I’ve given in this survey so far suggest, I used to live there. Do you like to bake cupcakes? >> No. How old were you 10 years ago? >> 22. Do you age well? >> I mean, I haven’t aged enough to know how well I age. The transition from young adulthood to adulthood did introduce some physical changes that necessitated changes in my lifestyle, but none of those changes were unexpected or particularly negative. I’m hoping I have smooth transitions later on in life, too, but the older one gets, the lower that likelihood. How many lamps are in the room that you are currently in? >> None, it’s daytime. What color is your keyboard? >> The keys are charcoal, the “bed” or whatever is silver. When was the last time that you clipped your fingernails? >> About a week ago, or something. What about your toenails? >> A longer time. I keep putting it off and subsequently forgetting entirely. Have you ever had the chicken pox? >> No. Do you like history? >> Sure, I find it interesting to read about. Do you wear deodorant all the time? >> I mean, as often as I feel is necessary. I reapply it less often in the winter, for example. Do you tend to tangle things up? >> Er, like... wires and stuff? I mean, that just happens regardless of what I do. Can you unknot knots? >> Some. When did you first learn how to tie your shoes? >> I have no idea. How different is the world today, than it was 5 years ago? >> I mean, that sounds like a question for google, not me. What kind of car would you like to have? >> ---

How loud is the volume on your computer? >> It’s muted right now, because no speakers or headphones are connected. Name 5 things that are in your room. >> A bag of chips, an Anubis plushie, an almost-depleted bottle of absinthe, a water bottle, a stepladder. Do you like the number 46? >> I have no associations with it, it doesn’t mean anything to me. Have you ever left your handprint in wet concrete? >> No. Do you vaccuum? >> Yeah. When was the last time that you graduated from a grade? >> 2004. Do you have a nickname? >> Some people still call me Rev, which is cool because it’s still my favourite nickname. People on two Discord servers I’m in call me “Dio” because some form of “Dionysus” is the handle they know me by. Can you wiggle your ears? >> No. Have you ever been in a commercial before? >> No. Have you ever built a castle out of cardboard? >> No. Do you really ever get too old for certain things? >> Well, sure, of course.

Do you like apple juice? >> I do. Can you whistle? >> Sometimes? Like, at some point my mouth just. accidentally figured out how to make the whistling shape properly and sometimes it actually comes out right. Do you celebrate Christmas? >> More or less. Do you have a New Years Resolution? >> No. How thick is your hair? >> It’s quite thick. When it grows out, it becomes very difficult to wash my scalp properly, which is a main reason why I keep it buzzed. Have you ever wanted to grow a beard or mustache? >> Eh, not particularly. I don’t mind having peach fuzz on my chin, though, which is one of my two remaining relics from being on HRT (the other being my voice). Do you use highlighters? >> No. Are you a very traditional person? >> Nope. Do you feel awkward around certain people? >> Well, sure. Do you like bananas? >> Not at all, I hate them. Do you like Febreeze? >> Eh, I get tempted but ultimately I prefer not to use it. How many children do you want? >> Zero will do. How tall are you? >> 5′5″.