#(because he IS but he's also a troll and that's much more fun than being subdued and genuine)
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beans-core · 2 days ago
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Some batkid reactions to being hassled by the press and other PR related shenanigan (inspired by this post by @timdrakewhump, it got the brainworms shmoovin)
(edit: added a cut here because DAMN this post is fucking LONG and I know it’s clogging up other people’s pages too)
Dick: the humble founder of the batkid “troll the press” train, so he has a lot of experience and stories. As a kid, he charmed the pants off of everyone but was a handful to interview because he kept going off on random tangents. And it was just. the most unrelated and weird shit ever, like his favorite species of beetle or how he used to think when he was little that all clouds were pollution so he hated cloudy days. Things so off-topic it was practically unusable material. Bruce once asked if it was on purpose, and Dick responded “sometimes!”. He’s also the king of petty but ultimately inconsequential pranks because of growing up where he did, a place where the job was bringing joy and entertainment. If someone was an asshole to him (or anyone really) in his presence, they’d better prepare to be on the receiving end of the most manipulative, career-devastating smackdown delivered by a pink-cheeked, gift-to-the-world, curly-Q babychild— who’s now got tears running down his face because of them. It’s joever. This performer stuff helps when he’s trying not to get caught (ex: the pranks). As an adult, he wears the most butt ugly outfits (even to “important” events) but can dress stylishly if he wants. That’s usually how the press will notice which events Dick actually cares about, and Dick utilizes this to get better coverage on the more meaningful events. It’s fucking hilarious when ppl can't even really comment on the outfits because even if the clothes aren’t great, Dick somehow manages to make it look decent. When he’s out casually in public, he’s notorious for wearing shirts with puns and dad jokes on them. The shirts started ironically, but now it’s a whole thing. He gets them as presents too, Tim giving him shirts that have horrible brainrot on them. Additionally, when someone is more comfortable talking in a language other than English and Dick can speak it, he’ll switch over. But the flip side is that he knows the best insults in that language too, so if you piss him off, his roasts are both more accessible, personal, and devastating.
Jason: Snuck books to read into boring events like clockwork, and Bruce never really tried to stop him. (It’s hard to be upset at your kid for reading of all things, especially when you’d rather be doing the same too.) But Jason’s favorite activity was spreading lies and slander. He dragged everyone into it whether you were kind or bitchy, and had barely any limits. (Dick was really proud, even of the particularly wicked rumors, but tried not to show it too much else Jason go wilder.) Jason has the most fun with the gossip-distribution method of old-rich gossips who are just incapable of shutting the hell up— it’s like one big maze traversing the social cliques and making a plan of action. He gets to map out how it all works and then find the best way to wreck it, and he lives for it. Overall, he made up such an astronomical amount of bullshit that photographs were practically the only thing the paparazzi could reliably use. And even then, Jason still trolled them by wearing the same type of common plain hoodie over every outfit out in public (when he wasn’t at some special event). Present day (post-death), anytime Jason goes into the manor (not often if possible), he sneaks in. Absolutely refuses to use a door. One time, someone gets a blurry picture of Jason sneaking in, and the figure is visibly packing heat. The person who got the photo went to the police immediately, and it sent the media into a frenzy. Bruce had to make up some story about an attempted robbery and how the (non-existent) security guards he’d hired were able to take care of it. Jason thinks it’s the funniest thing ever, and can barely keep his face blank whenever he remembers it. Tim got the articles/papers printed and framed as a gift, and Jason begrudgingly accepted it (it’s proudly displayed on a shelf). He’s also secretly pissy that he can’t blatantly make up rumors for the gossips anymore because of the whole “being dead” thing.
Tim: holds grudges to hell and back if you’re not a loved one. If you happen to be more than just an average-everyday amount of douchebag and mess with him or someone he cares about, he’ll make sure you know he dislikes you by basically passive-aggressively harassing you back (when it won’t have immediate/future bad-time consequences). It’s obvious he’s being unkind only to the person/people it’s directed at, and it’s an art form Tim has been honing since the age he first understood what ‘passive aggressive’ meant. One example: once, some person said how odd it was for Mr. Wayne to keep taking in children who looked like him and “forcing them” to take the Wayne last name. The man said it in that condescending tone of people who try to imply something’s “wrong” with you without actually saying it (you know what I’m referring to). Even though Tim was visibly disgruntled in the video, it was still published. (Tim hacked the site, unpublished, and deleted the recordings out of spite… but it’s the fact that they did it in the first place!) So now whenever he sees that news station he refuses to answer them until they address him by “Timothy Wayne” (his last name is hyphenated and he doesn’t mind answering to either— usually). When Tim’s not in the mood to be passive about his aggression, he’ll just fuck with rude ppl anonymously. Hacking to mess with files/programs, deleting important info, digging up dirt and publicizing it, recruiting Jason’s help to concoct a fake scandal (Jason tries to pretend that he doesn’t love the chaos but he really obviously does), and other ways to constantly annoy/inconvenience them. Tim also accidentally adopts Jason’s habit of scoping out and analyzing the famous gossips of Gotham. It was something he’s been proficient at as a kid out of necessity, but he actually gets into it when he becomes Robin, beginning to view it like one big puzzle he can solve and use to his advantage. As a child, he’s not in the immediate focus of the news as much as you’d think. The Drake’s keep him out of the way unless he can be useful somehow (PR mostly— the Idealistic Loving Family tactic and Cute Kid Distraction are utilized often). (This becomes Pretty Boy Distraction and Desirable Man Distraction as he gets older.) They think that controlling his media presence is easier than doing damage control if he makes a mistake, as all children tend to do, which inadvertently ends up protecting him from some of the more despicable side of modern media… as long as he doesn’t seek it out himself… but as we know, Tim Drake is a very curious kid.
Damian: the perfectly behaved Wayne child, but rude without realizing (of course he realizes, but the press doesn’t know that… or won’t mention it, at least). The Wayne family PR team has long-standing beef with this kid and has had to put up with him repeatedly for PR training and other PR nightmares of his creation. He refuses to act childish in front of the media unless it’s for a mission or some other gain. (He can look like the cutiest patootie on command now, but it’s something he had to work on in his PR training, unlike some of his other siblings who have charm oozing from their pores.) The only thing that reveals Damian’s discomfort to those who know him is how he’ll stay near his family members' side, following them around like he’s stuck with glue. Once he got overwhelmed by a sudden crowd, and didn’t notice one mic coming his way until it was shoved in his face— he reacted instinctively, punched the mic (it goes flying), and ducked low into a fighting stance next to Bruce. The others poke fun until they realize he’s genuinely upset he couldn’t stay calm, so they don’t mention it again. Even though Damian loudly rebukes and scoffs at his family’s shenanigans against the press, he still secretly wants to be included. So, when he doesn’t want to be talking to someone, he’ll slowly shift into speaking Arabic and pretend not to notice. More than half the time, the listener will feel too awkward to point it out and will find some way to leave the conversation. Dick takes him to his favorite dessert place when he does this for the first time, and brags about Damian finally joining in on the family tradition all day, so he keeps doing it.
Cassandra: leans heavily into the “can’t speak” thing that she’s been mistakenly assigned just so she doesn’t have to talk to the press as much or be a center of attention. If someone does approach her she just stares at them with wide unblinking bug eyes until they back off and/or are distracted by something else. But really, she isn’t even approached that often because she sneaks around everywhere. When she is found, it’s because she feels like teasing someone that day. (It’s a bonus when her family gets all giggly seeing her mess with the press because yeah, it’s practically a Wayne family tradition at this point.) Also, everyone knows by now that Brucie will unabashedly raise hell to defend his loved ones, so even years later, when media people are like “okay wait shouldn’t she be able to talk by now??” they keep their ignorant mouths shut lest Bruce Wayne descend upon them with the power of a thousand suns lawyers. Misinformed media-people assume she’s deaf or hard of hearing all the time because of her use of sign language, and sometimes, in the spirit of trolling, she’ll feed into it indirectly. Because if you’re calling over to her for a comment and she happens to not answer, it’s your fault if you “connect the dots” and assume she didn’t hear you because she’s deaf/HOH. This also leads to her getting away with absolutely everything, because she’s a (assumed) deaf woman which means she gets infantilized, meaning she can obviously do no wrong! /s It would piss her off more if she gave a fuck about what the media thinks, but she really doesn’t, so she just uses it as another tool when she wants to cause havoc.
Duke: doesn’t get bothered too often compared to most of the others, and subsequently doesn’t give a fuck. Was offered PR training just in case by Bruce and he took it, but he could hold his own just fine before. Sometimes he’ll get approached by those sidewalk interviewers as Signal, and if he has the time he’ll stick around to quickly answer a few questions because he finds them funny. He’s always terribly vague though, and taken out of context you just have no earthly idea what he’s on about. Clarification? Duke doesn’t know her. As someone who hangs out with a family consisting of some rich white people who are often in the public eye of other rich white people, he likes to make the annoying ones squirm by interpreting everything they say to be offensive, just. Fucking with them until they’re panicking, having mini heart attacks thinking of the PR nightmare they’re gonna have. “So young man, do you think you’ll go to college?” “Why do you ask? Think a black kid wouldn’t be able to?“ “I didn’t—” “Think I’m not as capable as anyone else?” “NO no no of COURSE NOT—” Damian, Cass, and Dick think it’s genius so they take inspiration from him and do it too in their own ways. Duke usually goes straight from Bat Business to the manor, entering from the batcave but when he does visit normally, he’s pretty discreet. All that to say that when he’s first noticed hanging around the batkids + co. it’s in public areas. There are definitely some rumors going around because Duke hangs out with them like all the time. the media are left wondering where the fuck another kid came from, why Bruce hadn’t introduced his new kid, etc. Bruce comes out with a vague summary story to get the majority of the press (the ones who didn’t bother to do more research) off dukes back, and after a while, they go back their normal level of invasive.
Stephanie: will get pissy if someone calls her Bruce’s child but won’t deny being part of the family. Loves to spread misinformation like Jason, but it’s only ever fake news about herself. At one point, half of Gotham is convinced she’s some estranged Wayne (some third cousin, or was it second?) and the other half thinks that she’s the secret affair child of Martha Wayne (even though the timeline zero sense). She drives the celeb-focused conspiracy theorists bonkers by introducing herself by different names, bringing up fake relatives, sharing absurd fake stories, etc. Then, she’ll throw in an absurd truth, someone will connect the dots about that one thing being real, and it’ll start another conspiracy frenzy because wait, if that’s true, what else is??? She's also mastered how to use makeup to make her features look different for undercover missions, but will wear it out in public too so it makes sneaky pictures and videos look doctored/fake. One time, she applied some fake facial prosthetics too for fun, and a paparazzo got into hot water for trying to pass off a picture of ‘some random woman’ as Stephanie Brown. She decided to frame the best of those articles written (framing “best-of” incidents is kind of a thing now). She’ll always be excited when one of the bats comes to her asking her to disguise them for a mission because they all know that the price of her work is that she gets free reign of what the disguise looks like (as free as you can be within the mission parameters, but she finds a LOT of little ways to entertain herself).
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chessb0r3d · 1 year ago
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i cracked the code.
#believing dirk is the worst guy because its what dirk thinks of himself#ignoring daves bisexuality and think hes a gay man in denial even when he explained hes bisexual#believing john 'im not a homosexual' egbert is explicitly straight while he makes out with his mcconahey and cameron posters more#than he kissed women(literally only once)#believing that rose is an edgy psyhcotic little bitch when she was neglected. she speaks elegantly to cover that shes silly and a total ner#and how did people forget that rose also writes gay wizard fanfiction. reads Wikipedia. and her beautiful artstyle as a result of neglect#(and by neglect meaning having SO MUCH TIME to draw)#jake wasnt into dirk. he also told di that he didnt like how brobot getting touchy with him during strifes#but as part of the repression 4(prospit kids). he refused on changing the bot settings#what jane said about roxy being better when she was drunk. it was fucking sarcasm. its the least insane shit you could say to a best friend#all the kids have issues and of course people get mad over a girl being sarcastic.#when KARKAT said THE SAME THING to rose when she was drunk on the meteor nobody bats an eye#trolls are just grey humans that are bugs. he doesnt get an excuse for being an alien. humans were made from KARKATS BLOOD#jade isnt all silly girl and is so FULL OF HATE towards the trolls. she called karkat a fuckass (VERY FUNNY) to do her a favor#“jade would rather have punched karkat in the fact then had a pleasent conversation with him.”#“she viewed the trolls as rude mean and cruel. and even thought that nepeta was just making fun of her.#despite it being that nepeta just wanted to roleplay and have fun."#dred.loki#I HAVE YET TO ADD MORE. THESE ARE JUST NOTES#homestuck#chss
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cephalog0d · 1 year ago
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Batkid Drabble - "Trapped"
((For @dangerousdan-dan because I couldn't get this image out of my head and it makes me laugh.))
“Stop taking pictures and help,” Tim hissed as loudly as he dared. Steph absolutely did not do either, instead shifting to get a better angle of both Tim’s panicked expression and Damian’s cheek smushed against his shoulder.
“Cat rules, Timothan, you’re stuck.”
“I’m gonna be stuck with a knife when he wakes up!”
Steph sent the picture to the group chat, then immediately had to silence her phone as people responded. Tim winced and made an unsuccessful swipe for it, then went utterly still as either the sound or his movement abruptly roused Damian from his sleep.
For a long, tense moment nobody moved. Steph leaned back precariously over the coffee table, out of reach, while Tim sat frozen, one arm outstretched. Neither of them dared to even breathe.
Damian blinked slowly, muttered something unintelligible, then shifted to close the distance between him and Tim again before dropping his head heavily onto Tim’s shoulder and going back asleep almost instantly.
“Oh my god,” Steph breathed, hastily reopening the group chat. Tim looked, if anything, even more distressed.
“Stephanie. Help.”
“Shh, the baby’s sleeping.”
Tim’s face said she would pay for this later, but the photos would be worth it. Probably.
((Also on AO3))
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temiizpalace · 4 months ago
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☆┊DRESS TO IMPRESS!
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SUMMARY: playing dress to impress with him!
CHARACTERS: all dorms + others
GENRE: fluff
WARNINGS: none
NOTES: i feel so bad for having people with requests wait so long but im losing ideas and idk what to write 😭😭😭 please bear with me event requesters,,,,, ik i suck at this
reader gender is not mentioned, reader not specified to be yuu
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VERY COMPETITIVE
if he catches you trolling it’s on sight. he takes this game very seriously, and refuses to get anything lower than 3rd. when you play together and ask to duo, he carries. you’ll see him with the most impressive and beautiful outfit you’ve ever seen and watch him lose his mind when he gets 5th. he spams poses, like in full concentration mode. also a very harsh critic. if he sees you off theme it’s an immediate 1 star, no exceptions. anytime he critiques your outfit you feel like an office worker with an overly harsh boss that demands better. he also probably has VIP. and beef with 10 year olds. (so think of when caseoh plays, but less yelling)
riddle, azul, jamil, vil, rollo
PLAYED IT AS A JOKE : IS NOW HOOKED
at first he thought it was just a dumb and silly dress up game for girls.. boy was he wrong. when he first played with you, he was expecting to hate this game to its core. he was a troller at first, purposefully making dumb outfits that don’t even match, barely adding anything to his outfit at all. suddenly, something in his mind flipped, and now he’s addicted. you’ll catch him sometimes playing his free time, teasing someone like him for playing a dress up game. not that you have room to talk. duos are fun, he likes being partners with you. he’s probably the kind of guy to vote everyone one star and then vote you five, but he expects five stars in return.
deuce, ruggie, epel, idia, skully j. graves
LOVES THE GAME
he’s played this before, he loves it! dressing up in cute outfits and watching other people dress up in cute outfits? why wouldn’t he play? and to play with you? that’s even better! wouldn’t be as competitive as the first category, but does take the game seriously. he doesn’t despise trolls, actually laughs at them sometimes. he does find it unfair they make the podium sometimes, but it’s really just a game. he loves duoing with you and wearing matching outfits, absolutely adorable! he either votes pretty fairly or votes everyone five stars depending on who they are. please play more with him, he loves this game!
cater, kalim, rook, ortho, lilia, neige
NOT THAT INTERESTED
what’s the appeal to it? it’s just playing dress up, nothing special. he’ll play once in awhile with you, but don’t expect it to be a regular thing. it’s just not his cup of tea. obviously since he doesn’t play often, his outfits are subpar. nothing podium worthy. votes pretty fairly, giving criticism and critique on other people’s outfits (though his aren’t that much better). he doesn’t mind being a duo with you, but you definitely carry. personally he thinks trollers are ruining the game and making it annoying for those who play religiously. overall, just a dress up game. would play but only if you play too.
trey, leona, jack, sebek, silver
THE TROLLER
is that one guy who has nothing on their character and walks onto the stage with no hair or makeup. skin tone is still at the default, colors on the clothes are unchanged, and it’s all on purpose too! would dress up in dumb outfits for a completely different theme and loves watching people argue about it in the chat. votes everybody one star because they’re just silly like that! absolutely cackles if he gets on the podium and loves watching the server get into fights about it. you don’t duo with him, you know better. loved playing with you, but it doesn’t seem the feeling is mutual.
ace, jade, floyd, che’nya
HOW TO POWER HANDHELD DEVICE
teach him how to use a phone first. doesn’t know how to log in to his account. when he joins the game, poor baby kept running into walls trying to put on shoes. outfits are usually incomplete or unchanged because he doesn’t know how to take off accessories or how to put them on. votes fair enough, but doesn’t ever make the podium. if you ask to duo, you’ll have to teach him cause he also doesn’t know about that either. basically just a big man baby who needs help using technology for the first time.
malleus
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A/N: obsessed with this game lately (idia would know all the lana lore)
date published: 10/10/24
© temiizpalace — do not copy, steal, or put my work into ai. thank you!
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temiizdotcom · 4 months ago
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✦┊DRESS TO IMPRESS
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SUMMARY: playing dress to impress with him!
CHARACTERS: various teams
GENRE: fluff
WARNINGS: none
TWST VER. (MAIN ACC)
reader is g/n
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VERY COMPETETIVE
if he catches you trolling it’s on sight. he takes this game very seriously, and refuses to get anything lower than 3rd. when you play together and ask to duo, he carries. you’ll see him with the most impressive and beautiful outfit you’ve ever seen and watch him lose his mind when he gets 5th. he spams poses, like in full concentration mode. also a very harsh critic. if he sees you off theme it’s an immediate 1 star, no exceptions. anytime he critiques your outfit you feel like an office worker with an overly harsh boss that demands better. he also probably has VIP. and beef with 10 year olds. (so think of when caseoh plays, but less yelling)
oikawa, kenma, semi
PLAYED IT AS A JOKE : IS NOW HOOKED
at first he thought it was just a dumb and silly dress up game for girls.. boy was he wrong. when he first played with you, he was expecting to hate this game to its core. he was a troller at first, purposefully making dumb outfits that don’t even match, barely adding anything to his outfit at all. suddenly, something in his mind flipped, and now he’s addicted. you’ll catch him sometimes playing his free time, teasing someone like him for playing a dress up game. not that you have room to talk. duos are fun, he likes being partners with you. he’s probably the kind of guy to vote everyone one star and then vote you five, but he expects five stars in return.
hinata, nishinoya, kuroo, lev, bokuto, atsumu, terushima, goshiki
LOVES THE GAME!
he’s played this before, he loves it! dressing up in cute outfits and watching other people dress up in cute outfits? why wouldn’t he play? and to play with you? that’s even better! wouldn’t be as competitive as the first category, but does take the game seriously. he doesn’t despise trolls, actually laughs at them sometimes. he does find it unfair they make the podium sometimes, but it’s really just a game. he loves duoing with you and wearing matching outfits, absolutely adorable! he either votes pretty fairly or votes everyone five stars depending on who they are. please play more with him, he loves this game!
yamaguchi, koganegawa, akashi, tendou
NOT THAT INTERESTED
what’s the appeal to it? it’s just playing dress up, nothing special. he’ll play once in awhile with you, but don’t expect it to be a regular thing. it’s just not his cup of tea. obviously since he doesn’t play often, his outfits are subpar. nothing podium worthy. votes pretty fairly, giving criticism and critique on other people’s outfits (though his aren’t that much better). he doesn’t mind being a duo with you, but you definitely carry. personally he thinks trollers are ruining the game and making it annoying for those who play religiously. overall, just a dress up game. would play but only if you play too.
kageyama, iwaizumi, kyotani, kita, sakusa, shirabu
THE TROLLER
is that one guy who has nothing on their character and walks onto the stage with no hair or makeup. skin tone is still at the default, colors on the clothes are unchanged, and it’s all on purpose too! would dress up in dumb outfits for a completely different theme and loves watching people argue about it in the chat. votes everybody one star because they’re just silly like that! absolutely cackles if he gets on the podium and loves watching the server get into fights about it. you don’t duo with him, you know better. loved playing with you, but it doesn’t seem the feeling is mutual.
tsukishima, futakuchi, osamu, suna
HOW TO POWER HANDHELD DEVICE
teach him how to use a phone first. doesn’t know how to log in to his account. when he joins the game, poor baby kept running into walls trying to put on shoes. outfits are usually incomplete or unchanged because he doesn’t know how to take off accessories or how to put them on. votes fair enough, but doesn’t ever make the podium. if you ask to duo, you’ll have to teach him cause he also doesn’t know about that either. basically just a big man baby who needs help using technology for the first time.
ushijima
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A/N: yes this is the same as my twst post but haikyu
date published: 10/14/24
© temiizdotcom — do not copy, steal, or put my work into ai. thank you!
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lxvvie · 9 months ago
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Couples Shit with Kyle Garrick:
Being friends with Kyle long before you two began a relationship. In fact, when he came home from a fairly long deployment and you got a chance to see him, you went to give him a hug. Next thing you know, you two were kissing. You've been together ever since.
Similarly, the first time you two had sex was a spur-of-the-moment thing. It was a reassuring, very intimate moment for you both and was also the one time when you two weren't overly busy and stressed with your lives and could actually afford to spend time with each other.
Having more makeout sessions than you can count because you are obsessed with Kyle's lips. Obsessed. His lips are full, soft as all hell, and you love them everywhere on your body.
Kyle is much more sentimental than he lets on. You gift him something, he will hold on to it until he can't anymore.
You two rarely, if ever, call each other by name. For instance, on your end it's always, "Hey, handsome," and on Kyle's end, it's "Hey, gorgeous." Hell, even Kyle's name in your phone is "Handsome" with the 💋 emoji. You know shit's serious if first names get used. Of course, you've used this to your advantage to prank him on more than one occasion.
Kyle not realizing he has so many damn hats until you start wearing them when you sometimes run quick errands. When you get home, you just take them off wherever. He goes back to collect them later and even he's put off by how many hats he has. Damn, is he really more like the Cap'n than he thought?
Flirting. A lot of flirting. Especially through text. Especially using emojis. Especially when Kyle's trolling you.
Being in competition with each other because it's fun. And sexy. And because Kyle looks so hot when he gets competitive and his nostrils flare up. Oh, you hit your 10,000-step mark today? Well, Kyle hit... 10,001. Nice try, darling. Oh, wait, you've declared Uno, Kyle? Jokes on you because here's a Draw 4 card! HA.
The real trials of your relationship revolving around his deployments. Kyle is as inquisitive and questioning as he is a good soldier and when he comes home, he... has his moments. You're likely to be met with an irritable lover the longer the deployment and so you leave Kyle to his devices to process everything. Sometimes he'll talk about it. Sometimes. Other times, he won't let you leave him. He'll just pull you into his arms and hold you because he needs that reassurance again.
You and Kyle ragging on each other about your taste in movies. So you compromise. He gets to watch a favorite movie of yours and you get to watch one of his. Turns out that Kyle loves horror movies, so it's a win-win for him. He gets to enjoy a good movie and you clinging to him for dear life when it gets scary.
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nekropsii · 1 year ago
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ALPHA TROLLS RANKED BY HOW WRONG THE FANDOM AT LARGE IS ABOUT THEM:
This is a personal challenge, based entirely on my own experience and perspective, and also ranked from Most to Least Correct. I was bored, and thought this might be fun.
Putting this under a cut, because it's long as hell.
MEULIN LEIJON
People get her mostly correct, from what I’ve seen… Most of the time, fan content of Meulin is absolutely recognizable as Meulin, but her pride in her deafness + joy of learning new ways to interact with the world through/due to her disability is always removed, and I do not often see people tackle the Toxic Positivity aspect of her character. That seems less like character assassination, though, and more like a combination of people not actually playing through the Openbounds, people not being able to fathom disabled people (especially those who gained a disability later in life rather than being born disabled) being happy, and general fandom distaste for the idea of touching anything uncomfortable, especially when that uncomfortable topic is highly mundane, normalized, and potentially applicable to them or their loved ones. Meulin’s toxic positivity was, of course, commentary on Tumblr’s ecosystem at the time, so… It was much harder to touch back then.
ARANEA SERKET
People tend to get her general, broad strokes personality right, but unfortunately she gets treated pretty roughly for the crime of Being A Serket. People refuse to understand her motivations, and she often gets demonized for what she was doing around/during [S] Game Over, even though that was something she’d gotten pushed to and also was cool as fuck to watch. God forbid a woman do anything.
DAMARA MEGIDO
People are right about the racism, 100%. It is completely despicable, hard to look at, and extremely blatant. She does, however, have character outside of that. No, it isn’t “whore”, it’s more like “angry, dysfunctional abuse victim”, and she’s genuinely a very interesting and tragic character. But, again, people are right about the racism, so she gets to be placed way up here.
MEENAH PEIXES
She is such a chaotic little bastard. I love her. I really do. Please understand that she genuinely does not understand the concept of consequences. This girl didn’t have a Lusus, she didn’t have parents, it was functionally illegal to tell her “No, you can’t do that.” That would fuck up literally anyone’s moral compass. That’s not me hand waving away all the fucked up and bad shit she’s done, we all know what she did, but people tend to forget this aspect of her character and it pains me deeply, because it is a very genuinely interesting concept that I want to see more of. She’s capable of regret, we’ve seen her feel it, I just don’t think foresight is her forte. No one raised her to consider consequences, or help her experience them in a healthy way, because nobody raised her period.
Also, her ass is not butch, she is the girliest girl in the entire comic. She is about hot pink and glitter and kiss marks and unicorns and cute little puns and you will respect that. She is not masculine. Her ass is not masculine nor is she butch. Let her be her hyper-feminine self.
LATULA PYROPE
Please for the love of god there is more to her character than “Gamer Girl” and “Mituna’s Girlfriend”. You are falling for her fucking ruse. Please. Please. Please recognize that her entire character is about internalized misogyny, and being forced to overcompensate for misogyny in gaming circles as a gamer who happens to be a woman. Please. I’m begging.
KURLOZ MAKARA
His character is not that deep, it’s mostly just a string of events he is mysteriously, inexplicably involved with. The Makaras are extremely Function Over Form- their characters practically do not exist, they're mostly just plot devices that exist to push the story along. I'm sorry to Makara fans. You just invented a guy in your mind and decided he was real. He is also not that soft, though, and his relationships with both Meulin AND Mituna are not healthy. Hard to stop people from ascribing cutesy squishy lovey dynamics to random men who happened to have looked at each other once, though. Some people truly haven't graduated from 2012.
HORUSS ZAHHAK
I am begging people to consider that maybe the biggest issue here is not that he is “Bad Otherkin/Therian Representation” and is in fact maybe the fact that Hussie was actually making fun of Systems when he was writing Horuss. Because Horuss is canonically a system. He uses the word system. He uses the word switching. He uses the word host. He literally talks about his Plurality at length in extremely upfront, plain terms. I don’t know how him being “Bad Otherkin Representation” was and still is the main discourse about him. It makes me insane. That is a commentary that truly writes itself. Talk about having your priorities out of wack, honestly...
PORRIM MARYAM
No, she is not a MRA, she’s just a regular feminist who happens to live on a different planet with different politics and social hierarchies from Our Real World Earth’s USA. Whatever argument you’re about to pull out of your ass to say that she sucks is bad. She already explained what she meant by that, in more detail, very clearly, and she was right. Half the time she’s literally just giving you factual information about what Beforus was like, and literal plot synopses. She isn’t saying anything insane. She’s literally normal. I don’t know why people cannot handle or process this. Porrim has not ever said anything controversial. If you disagree with this you’re either misconstruing her on purpose or you fell for Kankri’s bait, and that’s just fucking sad at that point.
Also, she’s more than a sex object, and her tits are not huge. Honestly, half the shit she was saying was just “I am more than my sex life”, and so many people took that and made her main character trait her sex life. Just pathetic.
RUFIOH NITRAM
This man is a fucking war criminal and I will stop at nothing until he is behind bars for his crimes against Damara. Raging misogynist. Total fucking cunt. Just the worst. If I talk any more about this, this part will be 1,000 paragraphs long. But also, I’m begging people to recognize his relationship with disability, too. He was similar to Meulin in the sense that he didn’t mind his disability, and his biggest gripe with it was the way that Horuss tried to “fix” it… Which is an interesting way to expand upon how Beforus’s culling system is not only very explicitly ableist, but mimicking real world systemic ableism. I also want people to recognize that Hussie is actively having a conversation about the reclamation of slurs with Rufioh’s character, and how not letting people reclaim such language is doing nothing but giving the word power against them while stripping away their own personal agency. Rufioh’s a complicated guy, and he’s interesting and also the worst, and I am really tired of how he gets watered down to nothing but “Pretty Boy Victim Of His Inexplicably Psycho Ex”.
MITUNA CAPTOR
Holy Fucking Shit, You Guys Are Ableist.
KANKRI VANTAS
To this day I see people saying he was just Hussie making fun of SJWs. To this day. To this day people think Hussie was trying to make Every Tumblr Leftist look bad, and that he hates them Because They Are Leftists. When will people recognize him as a bootlicker to the oppressive class and the violently bigoted. When will people recognize that. When will people recognize that this is more of a commentary on the legitimate real flaws of Tumblr’s politics at the time. When. When.
When will people stop portraying him as a lovey-dovey Catholic Whore. I’m going to stab my fucking eyes out and then kill everyone in this building. Me when it's based and cool to ship an aroace character with a sexual predator. I GUESS.
CRONUS AMPORA
I say this with every ounce of sincerity I can possibly muster as a person: What the literal actual fuck.
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nanamineedstherapy · 22 days ago
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Controversial Opinion: The Anti-Sugar Baby Manifesto
Okay, so... does anyone else not want to be Nanami’s sugar baby, Gojo’s dependent, Sukuna’s servant, or insert your favorite emotionally unavailable man’s sidekick?
I’ve read (and loved!) plenty of fics where the reader is in one of these roles. And honestly, there’s nothing wrong with enjoying them—power to you if that’s your vibe! But if we’re talking canon or even slightly realistic scenarios… yeah, I just can’t.
Before you start throwing tomatoes 🍅, hear me out. I promise this isn’t a hate post—just my thots.
Alright, buckle up because I’m about to destroy your sugar baby and servant fantasies with my unsolicited, unhinged takes.
Nanami Kento:
You wanna be Ken Doll’s sugar baby? Cute, but be serious. This man is one passive-aggressive comment away from throwing himself into traffic because he hates capitalism that much. He chose exorcisms and certain death over Excel sheets. Excel sheets, babe. If you think he’s gonna work overtime to buy you Versace, you’re delusional.
If I were with him, I’d work harder at my job (I hate corporate too, but not more than I love Nanami) and funnel my salary straight to him. He’d handle it responsibly because I’d just blow it on expensive pens, another PC, and iced tea. But also? I’d keep an emergency fund. Trust no one. Not even your man.
Let’s not forget the workplace romance trope. This man is the epitome of professionalism. He’d never date his coworker, let alone his secretary. Not because you’re not amazing, but because the power imbalance would haunt him. Like, he’d wake up in a cold sweat thinking about HR policies. And I respect that about him bcs same.
Also, please don’t get involved with someone who promises love and then runs to HR if his job’s on the line. (Not Nanami but in general advice.)
The stats don’t lie, and I’m not about to become the next cautionary tale in a LinkedIn post.
Gojo Satoru:
You wanna date Gojo? Cute. Except he wouldn’t date you, let alone spoil you. He wouldn’t date anyone. He’s emotionally constipated, a walking trauma fest, hyperfocused on being the strongest sorcerer alive™️, and allergic to vulnerability.
Most fics turn him into this suave flirt, but let’s be real—canon Gojo struggles with human interaction beyond being a troll. He’s a nerdy dork, so his game is shit even if he wanted to date you.
Y’all write him as this rich sugar daddy, but in reality? He’d spend your entire relationship trolling you, gaslighting you into thinking he’s a “normal guy,” and then disappearing for weeks because he’s busy babysitting teenagers and battling his inner demons.
Also, sugar babies love his money, but be honest—you don’t even like him; you like his black card. Gojo deserves better than being your walking ATM, and you deserve better than a man who’d eat your last snack just because he can.
Gifts are cute, but if he’s doing all the work while I’m chilling? That’s just freeloading.
I'm yet to come across a fic where he takes the time to realize he even wants a relationship, instead of being a pre-established fuckboy who suddenly changes because he found the 'right person.' Let’s be real, that’s not how it works. We shouldn’t glorify men for changing after finding the right person or excuse their past behavior, including any STDs they may have/had.
(Note to self: In future fics, explore his struggle to admit he wants a relationship and the challenges he faces in figuring out how to be in one.)
Haibara Yu:
So, you’re thinking about dating Haibara? Buckle up, ‘cause you’re signing up for a rollercoaster ride where the tracks are constantly under construction. Haibara’s got the energy of someone who just found out about sarcasm, but also the emotional depth of a puddle.
This guy’s all fun and games until you realize he’s like a cat that wants attention, but only on his terms. He’ll say the most unbothered things with that sunshine stare of his, but don’t be fooled. That’s his way of hiding his entire emotional baggage.
One minute, he’s sarcastic and aloof, and the next, he’s unexpectedly clingy, wanting to know if you still like him (even though he’d never admit it). You’ll spend half your time wondering if he actually likes you or if he’s just in a perpetual state of "I’m too cool for this."
Does he care? Absolutly. Expect texts like "I'm fine" followed by a cryptic emoji and zero context.
Dates? Don’t hold your breath. He's too busy trying to be taken seriously.
He’s not a millionaire either. Don’t expect a big grand gesture. His idea of spoiling you? Buying you a drink from the convenience store, giving you stale candy and maybe, just maybe, sending you a playlist of sad songs that “remind him of you.” Yeah, romantic, I know.
He’s not gonna spoil you with gifts, but he’ll share his last pack of gum like it’s the greatest act of love ever. Don’t expect consistency, just an occasional burst of affection sandwiched between long silences and sarcastic banter.
Would he be loyal? Absolutely. Would he constantly second-guess himself and need reassurance that you're not going to leave him because he doesn’t know how to talk about his feelings? Definitely.
Prepare to give him more emotional support than you ever signed up for. Would he adore you? Yes, but he’ll probably think it’s too much work to actually show it. But hey, if you’re into emotional chaos and not knowing where you stand, Haibara’s your guy.
You probably only like him because you know nothing about him.
Ryomen Sukuna:
The “servant/concubine” trope is insane. INSANE. You think Sukuna, the literal King of Curses, is gonna treat you like anything more than a chew toy? The power imbalance isn’t sexy—it’s electric chair. You’d either die mid-hookup (his hands alone could snap you in half) or be tossed into a volcano because you sneezed too loudly.
Be fr—he’d accidentally (or on purpose) kill anyone he sleeps with. The man’s a giant sadist, naturally rough, and has zero chill.
Romance? Nonexistent. Sukuna’s idea of flirting is probably something like, “You’re less annoying than most humans. Barely.” That’s not romantic; that’s verbal abuse with extra steps.
Toji Fushiguro:
This one hurts because Toji’s hot but this man has no money. None. Zero. If you want to date him, you better be ready to cover rent, groceries, and his “post-mission beer fund" because his entire paycheck goes toward sharpening his sword, buying protein powder, and gambling.
Let’s not forget he has a dead wife, and he went off the deep end after her death. Even if you could somehow 'fix' him like the unlicensed therapist you are because you have nothing better to do, he’s a vengeful widower who would leave you randomly for missions—and might not return because he’s driven by the insecurity of proving the Zenins wrong, which would get him killed.
Plus, he’d bring up his dead wife in every argument, saying things like, “She wasn’t this nagging; she didn’t do this or that.” People tend to glorify the dead, and he’d be the prime example of that. How could you compete with the memories of someone his mind has declared perfect?
He’s everyone's wet dream, sure, but do you really wanna date a guy who’d ghost you and leave you with his kid?
And don’t even get me started on his love language. It’s probably, “I killed a guy for you.” That’s cute until the cops show up at your door asking questions.
He might toss you a bone (not like that, calm down), but the idea of me paying for someone who might not even text me back? Pass.
Kamo Choso:
Sweetest man alive. Too pure for this world. But dating him would be like adopting a sad, traumatized puppy who cries every time you leave the room. You’d spend your entire relationship comforting him and Googling “how to help my boyfriend stop mourning his 17 dead brothers.”
He’s too busy laser-focusing on Yuji and going through an identity crisis to even think about being in a relationship. I’d want to protect him, not date him.
Also, his skincare routine is probably better than yours, which is cute until you realize you’ll never be the pretty one in the relationship.
Geto Suguru:
Ah, Babygurl Suguwu. Love him to death (pun intended), but dating him sounds like lifelong therapy.
Do you really wanna date a guy who’s juggling a cult, unresolved trauma, and genocidal tendencies?
His love language is probably “eliminating humanity,” and unless you’re down to join his pyramid scheme of sorcerer supremacy, this is not gonna work.
Also, you will forever be second place to the Gojo-fucking-Satoru.
Be serious. You will never win that chase. He'll leave you mid-sex to go see his 'one & only' babe.
Kashimo Hajime:
Kashimo would date you for the sole purpose of fighting you. He doesn’t want love; he wants violence—he’s looking for someone who can throw hands.
Imagine coming home after a 10-hour shift at work, exhausted, and this man’s standing in your living room like, “I’ve been waiting to test my new technique on you.” No, sir, I want a nap.
And don’t think you can just say no. He’d follow you to the grocery store, the dentist, your grandma’s funeral, like, “We fight now!”
Hiromi Higuruma:
Now, this man’s tempting. Responsible, classy, knows how to argue (a lawyer, duh), but... he’s also on the verge of a midlife crisis.
Do you really wanna date someone who’s one bad day away from snapping? You’d spend most of your time convincing him he’s not a terrible person, and honestly, I don’t have the emotional bandwidth for that. Therapy is expensive, and I already have PTSD from my ex.
Also, he’d probably start arguments just to win them. You think you’re ready for that kind of intellectual warfare 24*7?
Shiu Kong:
Do you like mafia drama? Because that’s what you’re signing up for. Mafia life isn’t sexy—it’s stressful.
You’d be dodging bullets, interrogating his “coworkers” about his whereabouts, and wondering if he’s about to betray you for a promotion.
Also, he's an asshole who's going to disappear after he's done with you; go see the scene before Toji died. Hard pass.
Kusakabe Atsuya:
This man is the king of doing the bare minimum. His love language is probably “napping,” and while that’s cute in theory, it’s less cute when he cancels date night because he “forgot” he had to sleep.
Honestly, he’d be a great friend, but as a partner? You’d be babysitting him.
Takuma Ino:
You wanna date Ino? Adorable. But let’s be real, you’re signing up for 24/7 unpaid emotional labor. Ino’s a golden retriever boy who desperately wants validation, and you’d basically be his therapist, hype woman, and emotional punching bag all rolled into one.
He’d shower you with attention (cute, right?) until you realize he’s also incredibly insecure and needs constant reassurance that he’s “doing a good job.” You’d be his number one fan and his HR department.
He’s not rich either. Like, at all. His idea of spoiling you would be buying you snacks from the konbini and taking you to the movies with coupons. Don’t expect luxury here—expect a man who puts in effort but forgets anniversaries because he was too busy stressing about being a sorcerer who no one takes seriously.
Would he adore you? Yes. Would you want to be adored by someone who still Googles “how to ask her out” while you’re already dating? I’ll let you decide.
Final Thots-
At the end of the day, I’d rather have my own independence than rely on someone else to “take care of me.”
I want a partner—not a sugar daddy, not a servant-master dynamic, not a walking red flag, and definitely not a paycheck.
I'd rather have a househusband who's retired and relaxed than an overworked sugar daddy—or worse, a dead one. Is that too much to ask?
Anyway, this is just my opinion!
If you love those tropes—go off; that’s totally valid. I’m not yucking anyone’s yum. We all have our preferences, and that’s what makes fandom fun.
No hate, just vibes.
Thanks for coming to my TED Talk. I’ll see myself out. 👋
If you still wanna fight, my comments are open, although I will reply like the guy you are fighting for.
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abigmessofablog · 17 days ago
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I'm sure I'm probably not the first person to note this but the reason so many works derivative of The Hobbit and The Lord of The Rings fails to capture the magic of those works is the lack of the hobbityness
Tolkien was, obviously, entirely aware of he common fantasy and fairytale tropes he was playing off of and they're present in his work (placing the proper king on the throne, elves and dwarves, main character who's hesitant to start his heros journey, dragons, ext) but if need be, these elements will be sidelined to emphasize the Hobbitish philosophy about the importance of comfort and good food and so on and so forth. (Thorin's death speech, Frodo's "I can't recall the taste of food, nor the touch of grass" ext)
Warning; super long, barely readable meta rant written at 2AM below
I've seen people say in any other story, Aragorn would be the main character of LOTR and I can agree with that but I'd argue you can kinda say the same thing about Thorin. Aragorn has his whole "rightful king" plot not dissimilar to how Thorin has his "reclaim the homeland, fight the dragon" plot. In the movies our emotional involvement in Aragorn and Thorin gets beefed up a little as they get some more brooding to the both of them. Aragorn gets his angst over his ancestry, Thorin is taken more seriously (ie: his updated, much more dramatic introduction giving him an air of mystery vs his book introduction, movie Balin's speech about his loyalty to Thorin, the treatment of the whole "gold sickness" thing, Thorin's speeches being taken seriously rather than being lovingly made fun of by the narration, ext) You can easily see a version of these stories where these two kings are the main characters of the story but they aren't! but neither of these characters are our main characters. Frodo and Bilbo are, respectively. And Frodo and Bilbo are simple hobbits with simple likes and the desire to live their simple shire life before getting dragged into adventure by the narrative.
I do genuinely like that in the Hobbit movies Bilbo gets to decide to go on the adventure by himself instead of getting unceremoniously shoved out of the house by Gandalf. It gives him more agency and we get the fun adventure that is supposed to take Bilbo out of his shell. Thats the message most people took from the story (ie "the world is not in your books..." I love this message/interpretation as much as anyone to be clear. I'm very guilty of loving my "Bilbo stays in Erebor" fanworks) but it is worth noting that Bilbo returns back to the Shire after his adventure and he gets the big speech about how more people should value the simple things in life before Thorin dies. Bilbo positions himself as sort of an unconventional hero by modern standards. Bilbo gets out of his situations more often than not through his wit and cleverly talking his way out of it rather than any displays of strength. He talks his way around Smaug, he cheats at his game of riddles with Gollum, he stalls the trolls. Bilbo wasn't even awake for the big climatic battle that gets turned into a climax for one of the movies. Bilbo, while getting braver more capable and more accepting of the situation, is still a hobbit! He wants his home and hearth and if he is dragged on an adventure, he will very loudly let you know about it. Frodo is similar in the sense that his strength doesn't come from any physical strength but from his ability to shoulder the horrors™ and then accept help from the people around him (mainly Sam) because he shouldn't have to shoulder the horrors™ alone. Again, the entire time Frodo is going on his adventure he's thinking about how much he'd rather be home. Sam sort of acts like this beacon of what the home represents and he’s the only thing keeping him emotionally stable and tries to comfort him through keeping him tethered to those memories of home. There’s the obvious scenes where Sam straight up tells Frodo to imagine home but there’s also just things like Sam cooking and insisting on making sure Frodo is fed (please note that sharing food is basically the universal signal for closeness, domesticity and the idea of a family unit. Think Norman Rockwell) or them turning their traumatic events into stories that they (again mostly Sam) expect to tell to their family and friends in a very domestic setting and then have those stories be passed down in the “Samwise the brave”, “Frodo wouldn’t have made it far without Sam” scene
You can also use this theme to sort of track the change in tone between the two stories. Bilbo's craving for the simple comforts of a warm meal, his bookshelves and a comfortable are played for jokes a few times, it's ultimately validated by the narrative. Frodo's drive to get back home is ultimately very melancholic and downright heartwrenching and when he can finally go home, it's not the same. In Bilbos case this change is sort of implied through the way Bilbo is treated very differently and treated like the neighborhood crazy guy by his peers post-adventure and this is played for laughs mostly but with Frodo it's outright stated and it is played completely straight. He's been so traumatized, so changed by his journey that he's simply not the same person he was when he left and he struggles to enjoy the aspects of the home that were previously used as an attempt to comfort him. Hence, “the Shire has been saved, but not for me." And he ends up leaving the Shire for good. As much as we know Tolkien hated the war allegory, it does bring to mind a soldier coming back home with severe trauma.
I feel like so much of this is lost in works that try to emulate LOTR and The Hobbit because of the simple fact that action sells much better. I mean, that's why the third hobbit movie is called "The Battle of The Five Armies" isn't it? There's also the want for grimmer, darker stories, since so many people view those as more "realistic" Maybe it's just the result of more cynical creators and audiences who want to watch more of the killing the dragon and cool battles with the big armies and less of the writing about trees and the value of home. I dunno I'm tired
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luludeluluramblings · 6 months ago
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What do you think of a Reader as a teenage anti-hero. They have a pretty upbeat personality, don't ask why. They like to tease others and especially they like to stimulate competition for the love of Bruce from Batkids
Bruce: I don't think my kids love me.
Reader: *Shows Bruce the Batkids arguing about who is Bruce's best kid*
I have thought about Anti-hero Reader on the regular. (I keep getting distracted by it, too.)
Slight, very slight, NSFW themes below
I tend to make an OC and then change their background for different scenarios. I have thoughts of an Anti-Hero!Smalltown!Reader that causes chaos cause therapy in Gotham is shady AF, but this version of Reader wouldn’t be related to the Bats at all. (I kinda wish I had written and posted that version, but I wanted to do a neglect story. Maybe after the neglect story I’ll do it. I would still keep the weather powers, though. I came up with a fun vigilante name for them already.)
Both versions of Reader, however, are petty and teasing.
So here’s a short list of petty things Reader would do to be passive aggressive.
Calls everyone, except Bruce, daddy. (Damian is exempt because he’s still technically Reader’s brother.)
Claims Green Lantern (Hal Jordan) is their favorite Justice League member. Would also call him Daddy. Yes, in that way.
Would claim Jon as their new brother, he is also exempt from the daddy name due to being so precious. (Of course, he will be salty about it.)
Buys suspicious things to throw in the trash. Reader knows they’re the world biggest snoops, might as well make things awkward for everybody when they do.
Will ask questions and say things they know will start arguments, even if it means playing stupid. “Is water wet?” “The earth is flat.” This also includes triggering competitions between everyone.
Will absolutely roast the ever loving shit out of each respective member’s alter ego right to their face.
Refers to Batman as Stellaluna.
Reader is the epitome of Bruce’s Brucie Wayne persona. They play bimbo/himbo/jimbo act just for the troll factor. And, the family will fall for it at times.
I might add more to this later. I was very excited about this ask. Unfortunately, I had to rest because it was grocery day and it’s hotter than the devil’s left testicle where I live. Sucks me dry of all my energy. (I have part Six pretty much done, too. It’s coming. I’m just dragging my feet.)
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hanafubukki · 1 year ago
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OMG, hello! As someone who is weak for this single bat dad, I love your Lilia work. We always see MC being sent to meet General Lilia and co in the past or in a dream but I wanna ask you what would happen if General Lilia was the one sent to present time, where Lilia and F!reader are already a couple and meeting current Lilia. Like, General Lilia still doesn't like humans but he feels attracted to reader and current Lilia would be such a little shit about it. I can't help but imagine him just kissing reader while staring at General Lilia in the eye or hugging them from behind while reader talks to General Lilia and giving him the biggest Cheshire grin. He's not jealous or anything but is such a troll about it...
Hello Calico-Queen 🌺🌻🌷
Thank you so much 💕💜 I'm happy to hear that. Lilia is always in the brain, so its wonderful to hear people enjoy these fics that I write.☺️🌺
That being said, you're the third person who has somehow ended up in my brain. Because this is a thought I have been thinking of for awhile now but haven’t put to paper, just stuck in head and day dreamed about. 🥰
…Careful, you might get stuck under all the diasomnia fic and thoughts 😂 jkjkjk
Who would know how to push your buttons better than...yourself?? Current Lilia is going to do exactly that. General Lilia is going to be shocked about you initially, but I think he would be more shocked about himself.
What had happened? Did Meleanor’s thunder knock a few screws or something?? Why is he like this?
He doesn't know when he will get back to his time but he will...try and get used to his current situation. It will take him a while to warm up to you.
But don't worry, he's the same way with Silver and Sebek. Even with Malleus there's a familiarity but also a hesitance...as if this was all a dream.
Once he gets used to you though, you can tell he has a crush. He's like a cat; he wants affection but doesn't know how to ask for it. The way you treat him has him nervous and he can't help but relax. But these feelings are so new to him and you're a human, he doesn't know how to treat you.
Current Lilia is laughing his head off on the side because he knows exactly what his past self is thinking and he's having fun teasing him!
Current Lilia is going to kiss and hug YN knowing full well that is exactly what his past self wants to do. Smirk at him as his past self glares. Oh? You wish you could be this affectionate with YN. Sorry General, you're 400 years too early Kufufu~
Ah~ but Lilia shouldn't let his guard down. After all, this is himself after all. General Lilia is nothing if not stubborn and will take up the challenge.
The General one day grabs your hand before kissing it in thanks for your kindness. Another time, he might even have the courage to kiss your cheek.
Somehow you end up in the middle of these two's...competition, but I doubt you mind dear reader. 🥰
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commandershepardvasfuckit · 28 days ago
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Kingsguard part 1
M!troll x f!reader
1.4k words
It was a dream come true, being the first archivist allowed to really document the cultures of Kor’mal, the monster kingdom. Well almost. Unfortunately you had drawn the attention of one of the king’s guard and he was annoyingly persistent.
(So fun fact for anyone who’s read the Arranged Marriage series with Zen’jan: I wrote like 1k words of that series, got distracted by Ba’tual and wrote like 7k words for him, never posted anything, then went back and wrote so much Zen. Also Zen and Ba’s character designs were switched once I really started writing Zen lol)
————
“Like what you see?” he called to you.
“Leave it, Ba’tual” your guide Bira, called back at him, “she doesn’t have time for your nonsense!”
Ba’tual stood outside the hold, sparring with a few other trolls. He was an intimidating sort, large and clearly a dangerous fighter. His movements were quick and precise, easily flipping his sparring partner over without effort.
You had arrived in the orcish capital of Kor’mal a few days prior and now today you were on your way to meet with several leaders and scholars to start your writings on culture and politics in the Southern Alliance.
“What?” Ba’tual called back as the two of you passed by and into the hold “She’s here to learn about us, right? I can definitely teach her a thing or two”.
“Ignore him” Bira muttered as she ushered you inside.
Even after spending a few days in the city it was still imposing to walk into a room of orcs, trolls, and minotaurs. The orcish king sat front and center on a simple throne inlaid with claws and tusks. Surrounding him were his advisors and several scholars.
“Deal with Ba’tual or I will” Bira snapped at one of the advisors.
The advisor sighed, “Thank you, Bira. I will deal with him” the poor troll man sounded so resigned.
Hours flew by as you spoke with everyone, occasionally new people flowed into the hold as you wrote pages upon pages of notes. Histories of each race, societal structures for each and how everything functioned as a city of many peoples, values, naming conventions, everything you could think to discuss now that the war was over between your kingdom and the Southern Alliance of the local orcs, trolls, and minotaurs.
You left on your own much later, stepping out into the soft glow of the setting sun, confident in your ability to trace your route back to the inn you were staying at without Bira’s guidance. Not more than a few steps outside the hold a familiar voice called out to you.
“Where’s your guide, little human?” he moved quietly, slipping out of the shadows without a sound.
Ba’tual towered over you as he closed the distance between the two of you. He stood taller than an orc or minotaur, which was easily several feet taller than you. He had the same muscular, lean build as many of the other trolls you had seen, though not quite a broad in the chest and shoulders as the orcs.
“Going home” you answered, trying to side step to get away.
“It’s so early though,” he placed a hand on the wall behind you, somewhat blocking your way, “why not enjoy some time in the city? I know a few good places”.
He was just about as close as he could get to you without touching. His long, elephant-like tusks nearly touching the wall on either side of your head as he leaned down to your eye level, effectively pinning you there. Up close his eyes were a dark blue you had never seen on a human that stood out against the light blue tone of his skin. His hair was a dark blue, closely shaved at the sides of his head and a left as a long mane running down the center of his head and pulled back to keep off of his face.
“I need to get home and organize my notes” you asserted again, clutching your notes defensively as a barrier between you and him.
“Those can wait. Why not explore the pleasures of the city?”
“Ba’tual” came an annoyed voice, “If Brinedeep declares war again I will know it is because you are harassing one of their emissaries”. It was the troll advisor leaving the hold.
“I’m not harassing her, just offering to show her around the city” Ba’tual said.
“Ba, I know you well, behave” the advisor warned.
Ba’tual took his hand off the wall and took a step back, “Fine, whatever you say, Zen. And you,” he turned his attention back to you, sly smirk on his lips, “I’ll be seeing you later”.
He walked off with the unfounded confidence of someone who had gotten their way. An annoying swagger to his step and you could not help but wrinkle you nose in disgust at his attitude.
“I am sorry about him,” the advisor said, “I promise he is harmless”.
“Is he always like that?”
“Cocky and overly forward? Yes, he has been like that since we were kids. But do not worry, he would not dare touch you. He is harmless”.
“That’s not as reassuring as you think it is”.
“If he makes you uncomfortable or does anything like that again tell me or Bira, I will make sure he knocks it off. I will not have him making people uncomfortable in my city”.
“Thank you, though I didn’t catch your name earlier.”
“Zen’jan” he replied.
Weeks flew by, you traveled between the hold, the archives, and speaking to people all throughout the city, but there was one annoying constant: Ba’tual.
No matter what he was doing, or who you were with, Ba’tual made sure to say something every time he saw you. He would call out to get your attention and then show off sparring, pester you to grab a drink with him, catcall you, anything to get your attention.
And it was obnoxious.
However, in this time you had gleaned more information about him: he was Zen’jan’s closest friend and part of the king’s personal guard, he was incredibly skilled with combat magic along with hand to hand combat, and he was incredibly persistent.
You were willing to give Zen’jan credit though; true to his word, Ba’tual never once attempted to lay a hand on you. He got at close as possible, seeing how far he could push your boundaries, a game of chicken of sorts, but always waited to see if you would be the one to close the distance.
“Hey, hey!” Bira’s voice cut through your thoughts, “Everyone’s leaving, come on!”
You followed her out into city, everything was livelier than usual, preparations for a festival were well underway.
“You are still coming with me tonight, right?” She asked.
“Of course, it would be good for my notes to observe some festivals first hand” you said.
Bira snorted, “Observe? No! Come and enjoy the festival! And you have to let me dress you! I’m sure I can find something that’ll fit you”.
Before you could even begin to argue with Bira a familiar presence swept up behind you both.
“I love a festival, even if it’s orcish” Ba’tual said, draping one arm over Bira’s shoulder and butting between you two. “Food, drinks, an excuse to get dressed up, can’t beat it”.
Bira shrugged his arm off of her, “Aren’t you supposed to behave and be part of king’s guard tonight?”
“The king? Bah!” he scoffed, “You know well as I that he doesn’t really need any guards, it’s all ceremony. Besides, I want to have some fun!”
“Well, have your fun away from us! She doesn’t need you pestering her all night!”
Ba’tual let out a low hum, “I don’t know about that, she hasn’t gone running to you to stop me? Mmmm? Maybe she likes a little attention?”
“No one likes your attention” she fired back flatly.
“Ah, well, we’ll see” he smiled and leaned over to Bira and said something in the troll language.
“No!” she yelled at him and smacked him on the arm as hard as she could you reckoned.
“I’ll be seeing you tonight!” he called as strolled off.
“Cocky asshole” Bira muttered.
“What did he say?” you asked.
Bira shook her head “Believe me, you don’t want to know” she sighed, “He’s still been bothering you?” she turned her attention back to you.
“It’s not that bad” you answer, “He’s really just all talk”.
“You don’t have to put up with him, you know? You should have told me. I can tell Zen’jan, and he’s the one person Ba’tual will always listen to”.
“It’s fine”
Bira’s eyes darted across your face as she opened her mouth only to quickly close it several times, trying to find something to say. “Fine. If you insist”.
————
Part 2
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mymoshangthoughts · 1 month ago
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i think i have the unpopular opinion that airplane is an egotist lol
i do enjoy reading fics where he's like "i dont deserve good things, this guy is way out of my league" and i do totally get where people are coming from when they characterize him that way but more and more lately im just like
"what about the comments?"
like i dont think that airplane has a SUPER high opinion of himself, but i think he's just kinda... confident? like when he reads fucking essays online about how his writing sucks he's able to laugh his ass off over it and even join in the fray. so i keep thinking rather than him being like "i dont deserve this nice thing", he'd more have a "SCORE! nice thing for me!! WHOO!" reaction. and when a bad thing happened, instead of being super "this is the saddest day of my life, someone was mean to me", he'd be more "omfg did you like fr waste your time being mean to me? thats actually pretty embarrassing for you lmfao, r u oki bro?"
like kinda that terminally online asshole internet troll of a person who just doesnt take shit seriously and has enough self esteem to just legitimately not give a fuck when someone is shitty
ofc it's different with demons who can literally skin him alive, theres a huge difference between someone saying "youre ugly" and someone breaking every bone in his body, so its not like he doesn't cower when necessary
but also inwardly he just has the confidence to not be effected much by cowering. like "lol imma hug this thigh bc i aint stupid but the fact that this asshole needs me to hug his thigh says a looottttt more about him than it says about me"
idk im just kinda wanting to see more unapologetically confident airplane who just does not give a fuck about anyones opinion so long as the opinion is coming from someone who cant actually fuck him over in a significant way. like sha hualing? obvs care about her opinion, she can gut him. some rando disciple? "lmfao out of my way loser, im gay"
also i kinda wanna see that confidence stripped away until he's a mewling mess but thats just my desire to break down confident characters and make them cry pfff
its so much funnier to me if airplane was actually a pretty impervious sort of person, it's only the extreme nature of his current situation that turned him into a crybaby lmfao
idk if im making sense, i just kinda think of airplane as being a hilarious mixture of "the most self assured guy you've ever met, to an obnoxious extent" and "wait does he have any self esteem at all?!? is he okay?!?" in a fun contradictory way, cuz thats the impression i got of him from canon
also modern au mobei jun getting Very upset bc it feels absolutely impossible to get under airplane's skin. like he's sitting here trying his best to get a reaction and airplane is just "lmfao yea but idgaf abt your opinion sooooooooo"
look, i also think it'd just be awesome if mobei jun is actually most attracted to the egotistical side of shang qinghua. like sure, he thinks that cowering sobbing pathetic hamster shang qinghua is delicious, but give him shang qinghua cackling arrogantly at his detractors with the air of an emperor? mobei jun might actually faint with desire
so like, mobei jun visiting an ding peak so much initially because shang qinghua is sus as fuck and all that jazz, but eventually he's sneaking in as often as possible so that he gets to peak that side of shang qinghua.
like he first notices it when shang qinghua is too absorbed in his paperwork to remember there's a demon lord casually napping on his bed and starts making fun of the lousy penmanship, his fellow disciples, other peak lords, no one is except from his sharp mocking tongue and laughing criticism. but he notices it more and more
someone comes to qinghua's door to throw their weight around? sure, qinghua acts all small and harmless with them there but when they leave, he's cackling about "annndd that pathetic loser thinks that no one knows abt his porn stache, pssshhh, get on my level pleb. especially with your frankly boring as fuck tastes" and qinghua has a dirty sense of humor too and it's sort of driving mobei jun insane
so maybe sometimes he shows up at the peak without announcing his presence, trying to peak what sort of shit that shang qinghua might say about him behind his back and mmaaaayyybbe mobei jun is a bit excited at the prospect and disappointed when it's difficult to hear his name on shang qinghua's tongue
until one glorious day when his timing is just right and shang qinghua is neck deep in the middle of northern desert paperwork and he lets loose and mobei jun isnt sure whats worse: the things that shang qinghua's biting insults are doing to him or how, in stark comparison to the way that shang qinghua insults to others, all of shang qinghua's insults are accompanied by dirty commentary about mobei jun's body and potential sexual prowess in a quite positive light. normally shang qinghua is all "lmfao mr. never-gonna-get-fucked qi-ge is gonna tell me what to do? tough shit my lil bitch, i might be your daddy but i know the full depth of malicious compliance! go back to your brat-kink with jiu-whatever. you might as well be dickless for all the success you've had, mr. virgin mcbitch" but with mobei jun it's a lot more like "oh so mr. sexier than the fucking literal god of this world could have imagined in his dirtiest dreams wants this paperwork by next week? unreasonable brat, so spoiled, i should spoil him, he'd look reeeeaallly hot when spoiled absolutely rotten beneath me hehehh wait above me? hm, anyway, he's being a little bitch but i'll forgive it for that face but also man i wanna just pinch those fucking cheeks sometimes and then--man i bet he'd be really fucking wild in the sack to and--"
absolutely charmed by the display, mobei jun immediately reveals himself and beats shang qinghua senseless as a very clear indication of his intentions. to his absolute dismay, he never hears shang qinghua insulting him again and he doubles the beatings in desperation to somehow get shang qinghua's attention
(shang qinghua does not, in fact, have any actual bad blood against his zhangmen-shixiong, he just has a bad habit of going for the throat when he's in the middle of a tirade bc he was once an internet troll who shamelessly thrived on the anonymity of being able to say anything to anyone. he just really likes to talk shit and if he was in a position of power, would absolutely abuse it to talk shit alllll the time lmfao)
anyway i got pretty off topic bUT MY POINT IS that shang qinghua is best (imho) when he is a shameless egotistical shit-talker who's more or less impervious to the criticism of others
((man just fucking IMAGINE mobei jun's reaction when the ascension ceremony happens? like he FINALLY gets shang qinghua to talk shit to his face no less and then IMMEDIATELY gets abandoned. and like, it was kinda Really Bad Timing and also mobei jun never really wanted to just be a passive participant! he wanted to retort back! he wanted a back and forth! he wanted to refute shang qinghua's claims that he was spoiled just as much as he wanted to hear those claims! he wants the push and pull!!!! SO WHY IS SHANG QINGHUA RUNNING AWAY THAT FUCKING TEASE?!?!))
also as a general note i do think that shang qinghua's whole impervious thing is prolly routed in a lot of the trauma of being unwanted by family and all of that stuff, there was no one around to build his ego up so he built it up all on his own and he's really fucking good at building things up
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midnight1nk · 3 months ago
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PRESENTING:
THE OFFICIAL WOTFI 2024 BINGO CARD
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Come one and all to Puzzle Park, where fun truly never ends...
:)
[BOX EXPLANATIONS & EMPTY CARD UNDER CUT]
BOX EXPLANATIONS (+CREDITS)
Mario Ruins The Show — me, @sardix
No matter what Mr Puzzles does, Mario is the only character he can't control. The one who never obeys. The one who ruins the show. So, it wouldn't be the first time Mario would save the day.
Past Arcs Or Trauma — /sardix
it's bound to happen some time, right? :)
Karma
After what he did to Meggy, it makes sense that Mr. Puzzles will face the same demise. The fate that's popular within the fandom would be his death. But if he lives, he could turn into Leggy himself, his TV head with tiny footsies. Or just his head. Either way, he would end up harmless.
It also refers to Puzzles's defeat. He tried to destroy the crew multiple times, it's only natural that the SMG Crew will try to fight back.
Mr Puzzles having a grudge against SMG4 — /sardix
We already knew that Puzzles hates Four, jealous even. How did Four, a ridiculous YT shitposter, get more attention than him? His original ideas pushed aside for memes? To add salt in the wound, Puzzles's steaming service of 5 episodes only managed 4.5 stars at his highest while Four surpassed him with 5.5 stars within an hour. An hour. And then, Four had the nerve to destroy his perfect screen at the end of the Puzzlevision movie. Then, there's the Meme Factory arc. Four took his only friend away, it's only fair if Four gets what he deserves. Why don't we have some fun with it while we're at it? :)
Park Destroyed — @34saveme34
By the end of WOTFI, Puzzle Park gets destroyed similar to how the simulation lab crumbled by the end of Western Spaghetti, seeing that there are a lot of similarities between Wren and Puzzles with the whole wires thing going on.
It's Gotta Be Perfect — me, @time1srunout, and literally everyone
Interestingly, the show crew brings back moments/parallels from IGBP. After all, everything started at that arc. Perfection, the keyboard, the eyes, the goo, the Showgrounds, Puzzlevision. And of course, Four and Puzzles being Narrative Foils(TM). I mean, you gotta love it.
The reason why it's in its own box is because of how significant it is. And besides, many theories stem from this arc. For me, I'll be looking for eyes, Goop!Four, and absolute karma.
References, confirmed theories, motifs, flashbacks, it all counts.
Freak Show
Referring to the poster made by the SMG4 crew with Tari, SMG3, Boopkins, and Bob being labeled as freaks. Someone's gotta bring this into WOTFI somehow.
(Carnival-Themed) Rap — me, @porschas-palette
Just as a heist-themed WOTFI happened in 2023, an awesome carnival-themed rap will happen this year. And it will be a BANGER!
Puzzles' Backstory — me, @yullalightk
As much as Puzzles is an interesting character, we have yet to learn more about his past. We have already seen some in his Creative Control song and in the 'Mr Puzzles' Clubhouse' episode with his dad. There simply has to be more. The puzzle pieces of his past :) ...I'll see myself out
The Bell Tolls 🔔
For the past few weeks, Ben and Shadow have been trolling the SMG4 twitter with their ;) and the bell emoji.
Stop stop [*points at SMG4 twt*] they're already dead/ref
On one tweet, Ben posted a few lyrics of the song "For Whom the Bell Tolls", a 1984 song by Metallica that was apparently inspired by a book of the same name, which basically tells a scene in the story where 5 soldiers died in the Spanish Civil War. Exploring death in modern warfare. As for whom the bell tolls, it's all of us, being bounded together. It's all of them who the bell tolls for.
Any reference to the heavy metal song, signs of bells, or even death, it marks this box for sure. Sure, it may be trolling, but hey, anything's possible.
Not So Different
With Four and Puzzles being Narrative Foils(TM), I've been waiting for a scene of Puzzles telling Four:
"You and I, we aren't so different. You wished to make people happy. I'm simply doing the same..."
It also be in reverse with Four OR Three telling that to Mr Puzzles that they get where he's coming from but he doesn't have to go down this path. They know what it's like. Whether Puzzles accepts defeat/change, it'll be up to him.
(Ending) Twist — me, /porschas-palette
At the very end of WOTFI, Mr Puzzles finally came out in all this glory of a model, showing he also pulled the strings of WOTFI 2023. Aside from IGBP and Western Spaghetti, of course. It's likely to happen again. Old/new characters, foreshadowing, fake death. It all counts.
Merch
...I mean, it's pretty obvious, right? I'm gonna bet on a poster, shirt/hoodie, a keychain, and something related to the WOTFI ticket. 5 bucks, all in.
Star Rating System
This whole arc constantly comes back to the ratings. Mr Puzzles in the negatives in the "Lowest Point" episode, Mickey referring the single star as the power source in the Engine Room in "Mr Puzzles' Clubhouse". And no, we're not going to forget about the broken star Mr Puzzles had left at the end of Puzzlevision. With Mr Puzzles being THE power source, it has to come back.
Sacrifice — me, /sardix, /porschas-palette
"Character Death" and "Character Fake Death" were great suggestions. But then, when sardix stated "Mario saves the day doing something stupid/protects someone from dying", it made me realize something. That's right, each one of the Crew would do anything to protect the others. Even if it costs them their lives. But it's worth the risk if it means they're safe. Three technically did in the "Welcome to Puzzle Park" episode, trying to warn Four and Mario. I mentioned in my theories that someone will sacrifice themselves, so this might be it.
It could also mean in terms of the exchange of something else, not necessarily a life. It could be Meggy's physical condition, knowing that she was forced to become Leggy again. Based on all those screams, I think her body's not going to be the same. A loss of a limb or something. Or perhaps, after seeing what he's done, Mr Puzzles might admit defeat. The sacrifice of his dream for creative vision.
Tender Tunnel — me, Nicc
What other reason would there be to have the equivalent of the Tunnel of Love in Puzzle Park? Literally, why would they do that? They could've put anything else in there. Popping balloon stand, the horse racing game, any other ride. Why this? And not just that, they keep pointing the camera right at it as if they're like "hey, this is going to become relevant later, so remember it".
SMG4 Kids
This whole arc also revolved around the children. Karen's kids, Beeg4, Eggdog, JubJub. Like I said in my "The Unexpected Guests" theory, they could still be relevant here. Also, the whole Didney thing and their large kid audience and the carnival being fun for kids (and all ages ofc).
Puzzles Dies 💀 — Nicc
As much as some of us don't want it to happen, Mr Puzzles may die, similarly how Wren did. For how to defeat Puzzles, it seems like the Crew would have to destroy the power source that's currently controlling the park... aka Mr Puzzles
Meggy Confronts
By the near end of WOTFI, in the final showdown between the Crew and Puzzles, Meggy might be back to normal and might have a few words with him in regards to what happened to her. In song or pure dialogue, she might confront him about his wrongdoings.
Or perhaps, for the very first time, Leggy might defy him. The whole time, Leggy is like "Join the winning team, he was such a great boss". And what if something snapped in Leggy that made her say "no" to Puzzles? That, no, this is going too far. No, I can't let you do this.
"You Saved Me" 💫 💣 — me, /sardix
SMG4 x SMG3 shippers, we're all too familiar with this line. Ever since SMG3 redeemed himself, the two have constantly said this line, after one indeed does save the other. Actually, it kind of happens in every movie if you think about it. And it works just as well here.
SMG3 being in a horrible minigame trap might get saved by Four and Mario with Four pulling out of it,
Three: "You... saved me?" Four: "Why wouldn't I? You were literally in a trap, dude." Three, hitting the back of Four's head: "I... Augh, just forget it, baka."
OR in reverse, when Four thanks Three for trying to save him and Mario. They didn't exactly escape in time but Three really has grown to become a true friend.
This box also works as a "Four and Three moment that can be seen as romantic" box :)
Brand New Look
This could be new outfits, bringing back old ones (like Three's bunny ears or WOTFI '23 suits), a new Puzzle face, or a new look of the Puzzle Park.
Puzzles Tune
Puzzles' musical motif dubbed as "TV Time", the one we're all familiar with, could come back. Either in the background, as a new arrangement, or as part of the Rap(TM) instrumental. It did that for WOTFI 2023 to foreshadow his subtle involvement so I don't see why it couldn't happen.
Dynamic Change
After rewatching "SMG4 and SMG3 come up with an episode", I predicted that something would change in Four and Three's dynamic, for better or worse. (For better, hopefully). As I said, it could be Three's revelation. Sure, the episode is a silly one, it should not be taken so seriously. But it's also the same episode that "hinted" the idea of a carnival coming to the Showgrounds, so anything could happen at this point.
And it doesn't have to be between Four and Three, it could be anyone in WOTFI. Leggy and Puzzles, the Crew within, etc.
Leggy's Flag
As shown in the "Lowest Point" episode, Mr Puzzles kept Leggy's flag after all this time. It wouldn't be a surprise that it might be used for a turning point in the plot in some way. Maybe it could be used as evidence of Puzzles' humanity, or for Puzzles to realize the damage he has caused. That he lost himself. All for creative vision.
BLANK CARD
If you want to fill in your own card, I leave here a blank version for your use AND a marker png:
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Also, feel free to post this on other platforms, the more the merrier. All I ask from you is to credit me.
.・-: ✧ :--: ✧ :-・.
Have fun with it, bring in your moots or discord server! But as always, enjoy what WOTFI has to offer. "Love always wins", after all.
I would like to give a big thanks to everyone who has given me suggestions, great job honestly!
And feel free to share your cards after WOTFI either by tagging me or using #wotfi 2024 bingo, I would love to see them! I'll see you all on the other side, my dear fellows.
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potionomicsgame · 3 months ago
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First of all I wanted to say yay for it now being on the PS5.
Second of all the animation and practically the whole thing looks amazing.
Third I actually have a question about Boss Finn (if you don’t mind my curiosity) I noticed on the video when it came to his music it shows some concept art of Boss Finn. Did he have a completely different look and personally and if so, what led to his now look?
Thank you so much for the kind words!!!
Our approach to characters is pretty visually driven. We like to figure out what looks cool first, then develop the character's personality along the way! So, in all likelihood, we didn’t know his personality at that point and were mainly excited about how cool a shark gangster would be.😂
But for fun, let’s walk through how his design evolved!
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In these early concepts, we felt the designs were leaning too heavily into the ocean theme. He also looked more like a fisherman rather than someone who would be engaging in patent trolling.
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Next, we went for more of a mafia look in this draft, which we thought was fun. We ended up going jacket-less since Robin already had the fancy cape silhouette, and we didn’t want them to look too similar in terms of outfits.
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So here's his more modern, buttoned-up look, appropriate for going into an office and giving threatening talks at the docks. The fish around his neck was a magical water device to help him "breathe" on land. We had to scrap it because a) it limited his animation poses and b) rendering water is hard.😅
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000marie198 · 1 year ago
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I love it how in the movies and shows, it is never explicitly mentioned that Hiccup and Snotlout are cousins but it is shown throughout the franchise in little moments so accurately that when you tell a fan they are cousins, there is zero doubt. Their whole dynamic screams cousins, whether it be them trying to freaking destroy the other in the funniest ways or caring about the other while still throwing around insults.
That aside, what I really wanted to point out is how similar some of their skills are. A proof they are cousins is that they share some very specific talents that most people on Berk don't have, talents that match in almost a familial manner.
You guys all know Hiccup's perks and personality and talents right? Well, lemme point out some of Snotlout's and see how they match his cousin's.
A strange combination of Loyal to a fault and Rebellious to a fault. This perk doesn't just apply on Snotlout, Hiccup is like this too but in his own way. It depends on the situation and person and their mood most importantly. Hiccup would sneak out to hunt for trolls and go into forest or try and train dragons or sneak out to go on flights when he's not supposed to etc. And Snotlout would trust and listen and have his team's and leader's back even if he doesn't seem to like it at points. He cares about his friends so much (seriously, go watch the entirety of the DreamWorks Dragons series)
Inventive and artistic. Snotlout works at the armoury at the beginning of RTTE, he also invented the sheep launcher. He's also pretty good at stitching. And I'm preeeetty sure he's able to forge his own weapons and armor now same as Hiccup.
Amateur writers who're actually pretty good. Hiccup's narrations are always fun to listen to and they also indicate that he has a knack for being a writer. In an episode of RTTE, Snotlout wrote a book that the gang found to be pretty good. And while Hiccup has artistic skills in drawing and painting and sketching, Snotlout is good at designing and aesthetics.
They both have a strange tendency to go and get hit on the head by lightning. Actually, lightning really seems to love these two.
Interestingly enough, Snotlout is also shown to be pretty persuasive and encouraging to others when needed, whether it be giving a scared kid a peptalk or talking some sense into someone who's being reckless and stubborn.
Tendency to plan something extremely reckless and crazy when there's a time crunch and those plans surprisingly work. Yes, both Hiccup and Snotlout do that quite often.
They love dragons! And yes, I'm aware that by now, the whole gang loves dragons but Hiccup loves them even more. He is obsessed with them and wants to keep them safe, he cares about these creatures so so much! While the other riders love their dragons more than anybody else but not as much as Hiccup, Snotlout cares about dragons almost in a similar way to how Hiccup and Valka do. He sings lullabies to baby fireworms and is so gentle with them. In The Eel Effect, he went into Hiccup mode with a terrible terror (just before he shook the poor guy but that besides the point) and was giving a speech to start a dragon revolution because he appreciates these creatures and genuinely believes they should be treated with full respect
That is all to say, even if it isn't directly told in the movie-verse, it is shown throughout that Hiccup and Snotlout are cousins and both even have some traits and talents in common
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