#(anyway like. thinking back to the K in old home videos who was like. confident that they were an engaging delight)

[aeide-thea]

oh right i forgot the real reason i stopped listening to broadway clips was that i've got this whole enormous miserable knot in my chest abt having been too socially anxious to do anything with my once-upon-a-time-very-gorgeous voice once i got spat out of the safe little nest of my high school, and like, most of the time i forget that knot even exists, but when i listen to the sort of music i used to be part of making (proper opera but also showtunes) it's like. this whole fast-forward feelings journey thru 'oh right that didn't actually go away, it's still right there in my throat, just calcified' to 'oh okay we tugged the loose end and it's unraveling and actually it was keeping contained a whole rush of tears like aeolus' bag of winds in the odyssey…'

[alrightieaphroditie]

take the edge off | e.m. series masterlist! | next part!

pairing *:･ﾟ eddie munson x female! reader wc *:･ﾟ 3.7 k warnings *:･ﾟ mentions of drugs (weed) and talk of events that happened in s3! an *:･ﾟ ahh i have officially written my first fanfic ever!! this is very exciting for me but also makes me kinda nervous, hehe. i hope this leads to me writing many more, though, bc this shit is lowkey therapeutic. anyways, this is kind of unedited, so if any major errors jump out at you while you're reading, please let me know so that i can fix it! this is like a soft!eddie type fic bc i was just in the mood for it last night! i appreciate any and all feedback!

synopsis *:･ﾟyou're exhausted, feeling burnt out, and your neighbor won't stop practicing guitar with his amp turned as loudly as possible. you need a pick-me up, and eddie munson has just the thing.

you were desperate. at least, that seemed to be the only logical explanation you could think of as to why you were walking across the graveled road towards eddie munson's trailer late at night in your pajamas.

of course, if anyone asked max why you went over in the first place, she'd tell them that you were just asking eddie to turn down his amp. munson was notorious for practicing his guitar late at night, and most nights you and max didn't mind the background noise. in fact, on the nights where max couldn't sleep, the nights where she would cling to you while you both sat on the couch. you comfort her as much as you can while wiping her tears and running your hand through her hair softly, and you appreciated the noise then. you created a game for those nights, telling max to close her eyes, to listen to the chords he struck loudly, and guess which song he had decided that he needed to learn that week. it seemed to calm her enough, and you always made her laugh when you suggested that eddie was finally learning a david bowie song.

as if.

but tonight was not one of those nights. tonight, you had worked two shifts at the family video in town (somehow keith hired you even though your top three movies were breakfast at tiffany's, the aristocats, and the dark crystal) and then went straight to the police station, where you were helping flo sort through files and answering phone calls. max was sitting at the table in the kitchen area when you got home, multiple books and notebooks flung about the small space. the table was where the two of you had spent the last few hours as you tried helping max study for her biology exam at the end of the week. you could tell she was seconds way from ripping her hair out of her head, and you, well you were barely hanging on yourself.

working two jobs in hawkins while living at a trailer park was not what you had envisioned for yourself when you moved out a year ago to attend college. you lasted two semesters, came back home to visit your family, and then your world turned upside down. literally. a few weeks after getting settled at your old house, max confided in you that she was worried about billy. she wouldn't exactly tell you why, but you promised you'd try talking to him. you never truly cared for your stepbrother, but max, for whatever reason, had a very small soft spot in her heart for him, and you wanted to take care of your sister. he was the same asshole he'd always been when you spoke to him the next day, slamming the door in your face as he walked away in his red swim shorts and white tank top. you thought nothing more of it.

it wasn't until you got home late one night from being with your friends when you saw billy carrying bag after bag of ice to his bedroom. he looked feverish, but despite your questions, he insisted that he was fine. later that night, max ran into your bedroom, shaking and panting. she'd had a nightmare, and this was when she finally gave in and confessed to you some of the events that had happened the previous year. you learned all about eleven, a girl who had some kind of power, and the truth about what went down at the hawkins lab. it was only a matter of time before you were recruited by max's friends, and you were one of the few who knew the truth of what happened at the starcourt mall. one of the few inside the mall when the mind flayer attacked.

max had been immediately affected by the events of the night, by billy's death. she had shut down, became a shell of the person she used to be. every now and then you'd catch a glimpse of the girl she used to be, but it disappeared just as quickly as you caught it. you, on the other hand, had responded to things a little differently. after billy's death, his father left your mother. not officially declaring a divorce, but there wasn't much hope for the marriage if one spouse was in california while the other was in indiana. your mom struggled to keep her job, turning to drinking to cope with the loss of a stepson and her husband, almost forgetting that she still had two daughters to care for. you knew you couldn't go back to college after this, and so you withdrew, moved back home, and have been helping keep things afloat as much as you could. you needed to be the person max could rely on during these times, and so you kept your emotions and struggles to yourself.

usually, that wasn't an issue. you had become one of reefer rick's most reliable customers, seeking him out to buy weed whenever you could spare some of your hard-earned money. that solution worked for about half a year, and then rick got busted by the cops. you had run out of your stash a few weeks ago and were starting to see the results of not being able to smoke. your thoughts wouldn't stop running a mile a minute, and every time you closed your eyes, you saw billy. you got cranky, becoming irritated more easily, and a perpetual migraine sat at the back of your head.

on this night in particular, you had already snapped at a guest when they tried convincing you to let them take home another movie even though they already had the max out, and you shouted at officer callahan when he accidently dumped your cup of coffee out in the sink because he thought you were done with it. all you wanted to do was lay in bed and cry, but when you saw max at the table, you knew that wasn't happening any time soon. and then eddie freaking munson started to play his damn guitar when it was almost the middle of the night.

a soft march breeze flittered throughout the night, and you wrapped your oversized brown flannel around your middle as you stepped through the grass to the few stairs leading up to eddie's door. it was then that you immediately regretted coming out, only for the fact that you were wearing a tank top and shorts under the flannel. you almost turned around and went back to max, but as you started down the stairs, eddie struck a chord that made your head throb, and that was that.

"munson!" you shouted, banging a fist on the trailer door a few times. you shifted your weight, holding your flannel closed with one hand as you waited a moment before starting to knock again. "eddie!"

the incessant noise abruptly stopped and, feeling satisfied with yourself, you started to march down the wooden stairs, thinking about making some hot chocolate for you and max. you had just reached the grass when you heard the door to the trailer fling open, causing you to spin around. in the doorway stood eddie munson, wearing a white t-shirt and pair of red plaid pajama pants, leaning forward a bit as he held open the screen door. his big brown eyes found yours immediately, and you watched as a cheshire cat grin spread across his face.

"well, well, well. if it isn't miss mayfield standing at the edge of my humble abode. to what do i owe the pleasure?" he asked, moving forward on the small landing. he leaned against the doorway, crossing his arms over his chest as he stared at you, the grin never leaving his face. despite the breeze, you felt your face heat with a blush.

eddie munson was no stranger to you. namely, he had quite the reputation of being a freak, what with his heavy metal band corroded coffin and his supposed satan-worshipping hellfire club. you knew the later was a nothing more than a stupid fear, though, as max's friends were all involved in the club. every time you worked with steve harrington at family video, you were subjected to listening to dustin henderson speak nothing but praises for eddie himself. and you trusted dustin, had no reason to believe otherwise. you had also gone to school with eddie, though you weren't really sure he remembered that fact. he was supposed to have graduated before you, and then with you, and now, after you. you'd even had a few classes together, but you knew he spent more time not being in class than he ever did in it, so you honestly didn't really expect him to know you. even these last few months that you've lived across from him, you've never interacted with one another. just some stolen glimpses when you're arriving home and he's leaving, or vice versa.

you must admit that you did foster a bit of a crush for him when you were in the same grade, and now, with him standing above you, gazing down at you with his brown eyes, you were starting to remember exactly why you felt that way. clearing your throat, you copied his pose, crossing your arms across your chest. "i was just coming over to ask you to turn down your amp a bit, please. max has had a rough day." you weren't completely lying to him. you really did need him to quiet down otherwise you were worried your head might genuinely explode from the migraine. however, you also knew from rick that eddie also dabbled in selling drugs, and again...you were desperate.

he studied you for a moment, the sounds of crickets chirping filling the silence, before pushing himself off the doorway. he gripped the railing of the landing between his hands, leaning forward slightly, and in the glow of the streetlights you could see the silver metal of the rings adorning his fingers. "ah, max is the one having a rough day, yeah? is that why you look like you're five seconds away from bursting into tears on my lawn?" he drawled out, cocking his head to the side as he questioned you. his accusation caused your eyes to widen, and you forced yourself to take a few deep breaths. you were not about to lose your cool in front of eddie munson.

"let's just say we've both had a rough day, then. i'm trying to help her study for her biology exam and she can't focus with all the noise coming from here." you state, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. eddie's eyes squinted down at you, and you could see his nose scrunch as he scoffs at you.

"it's not just noise, mayfield. it's music. i'm not surprised you don't know the difference, though, considering all you do is blast bowie and fleetwood mac." you can tell by his voice that he was irritated, and you almost have to stifle a laugh. he's shaking his head slightly, his wavy hair falling around his shoulders. he sees your grin, though, and he pauses. "is something funny?" he asks, moving one of his hands up to grab a piece of his hair and twirling it in front of his face.

"you can't diss stevie nicks, eddie. that's, like, sacrilegious," you tease, your grin growing a little wider as you speak. you've always known how passionate eddie was for his music, and that was honestly something you respected him for. he wasn't afraid to simply be himself, even if this town hated him for it. eddie munson wasn't a freak, he just had unique interests that made him stand out. and in hawkins, standing out was the last thing anyone wanted to do.

eddie continues to twirl his hair around his finger for a moment before throwing his hands out wide. "oh, haven't you heard? i'm a devil worshipper, y/n. being sacrilegious is the least of my worries," he declares, taking a few dramatic steps down the stairs. he stops when he's in front of you, and you realize how much taller he is as you tilt your head back slightly to maintain eye contact. your fingers fiddle nervously with the buttons on your flannel, but you don't back down.

"devil worshipper or not, it's very childlike of you to be judging others for their taste in music just because it doesn't match your own. i'm not hating on you for playing metallica at all hours of the night, just simply asking you to turn it down a notch." you reply, suddenly wondering how the conversation strayed this way. and how he knew what music you liked to listen to. this was a mistake, you thought, maybe i should just take a bath instead of smoke tonight. with that decided, you gave eddie a small wave before starting to back trek to your trailer.

"you could tell that i was playing metallica tonight?" eddie called out at you from behind suddenly. with a sigh, you turned back around, catching him looking at you with an eyebrow raised. you couldn't help but roll your eyes. "yes, munson, i could tell it was metallica. it's their newest song, right?" you asked, putting your hands on your hips as you stood in the middle of the gravel road. you could tell that your response shocked eddie, and it made you smile. "i don't just listen to bowie and fleetwood mac, hon."

those big brown eyes of his widened, and suddenly a smile lit up his face. "there are layers to you, mayfield. i like it," he whispered while pointing a finger at you. "you know, i've actually heard a lot about you, my lady. especially from my dear friend, rick." his grin grew even bigger with his last remark, and it was your turn to look at him with a raised eyebrow. you couldn't fathom why rick would talk about you to anyone, least of all eddie munson. it wasn't like rick knew everything there was to know about you, but sometimes he would let you try out a new strain of weed he had gotten, and you never could control what slipped from your mouth then. that's why you always preferred getting high in the comfort of your own bedroom.

"and are you planning on sharing what you've heard, or are you just trying to hang it over my head?" you asked, tilting your head to the side slightly. your hair fell down your face, and eddie's eyes trailed the movement, causing your face to flush as you pushed it back. he began pacing, occasionally glancing at you before leaning against the railing of the stairs, reaching behind him to hold on to the wood.

"i'm sure it's stuff you already know," he joked, winking at you as he laughed. when eddie laughs, his whole face lights up. his eyes get bright, his smile so wide that you can see the lines around his mouth curve. it's the type of reaction that makes you want to try to get him to laugh again, even if it's at your expense. you watch as he squats down, his plaid pants tightening around his thighs as he runs a finger through the grass in front of him.

"it's mostly just the basics, i guess. you dropped outta school, picked up two jobs, started being very motherly towards your dear sister. i can only imagine how stressed out you must be. makes a man wonder how you handle it all," he tilts his head up to look at you, a mischievous glint in his eyes. you immediately understand the direction he's going with his, and it's enough to make you roll your eyes.

"eddie, if you're talking to reefer rick about me, i'm pretty sure you can imagine what i'm doing to handle my stress." your gaze is as heated as your tone, and he definitely picks up on that. he holds his hands up, frowning slightly.

"woah there, mayfield. i'm not accusing you of anything. we all need a little something now and then to take the edge off. your secret is safe with me," he tosses you another wink, and you push down the wave of butterflies it sends to your stomach. you really should be going back inside, back to max. she's probably wondering what's taking you so long. and yet for some reason, you can't seem to feel the urge to actually want to leave. surprisingly, you like talking to eddie. there's something about him that's so disarming, and there's a part of you that wants to sit on the grass next to him and talk to him until the sun rises.

you watch as he stands back up, wiping his hands off against his pants. "in fact," he continues, giving you a glance before moving to jump up the steps. "i think you could use a little something right now. you feelin' on the edge tonight, mayfield?" he asks, almost softly, gazing down at you with his big eyes. his tone is teasing, but his eyes show how genuine he is in asking that. how much he actually does care. it's his eyes that essentially bring down your walls, and you find yourself wrapping your arms around your middle and nodding slightly in response.

"just a bit," you whisper, feeling tears burn in your eyes suddenly. too many emotions were swelling up inside you, and you felt close to breaking down, which was an unexpected turn of events for you. usually, you're able to push down these feelings until max was asleep. you'd go through the motions of getting ready for bed, but instead of heading to your bedroom, you would escape outside and sit on the stairs leading up to your front door. you would cry until you simply couldn't, and then you'd tuck your knees up under your chin and hug yourself until you felt strong enough to go back inside. you always figured the night was the safest time do let go, the time when no one else would notice you breaking down. but the look in eddie's eyes have you wondering if you've had an audience some nights.

his gaze is soft, and he has the smallest of smiles on his face, more sympathetic than anything else. he holds up a finger, muttering "one second," before dipping back into his trailer. you use this time to blow out a loud sigh, wiping your eyes with the sleeves of your flannel and trying to make yourself seem like less of a mess. you can hear a few things being knocked over or dropped in the trailer, and you walk to the bottom of the stairs, concerned. "eddie?"

he bursts out of the door quickly, nearly tripping on the doorstep. his hair flies behind him as he gathers his balance. he makes his way towards the step in front of you, grinning, and when he's near you, he holds out his hand. you see a small baggie nestled in his palm, and the urge to grab it hits you hard, but you restrain yourself. in all your desperation, you forgot a key factor needed to make this a done deal - money. just yesterday you spent what you had left of your two paychecks on helping with the electric bill and getting groceries for the three of you. what little savings you had in your account was saved back for max, in case she needed anything.

looking up, you give eddie a small smile but start to shake your head. "i really appreciate the gesture, but i... i can't really afford to buy this right now. thank you, though." at your response, eddie simply laughs and reaches down to grab your wrist. he brings your hand up and drops the baggie into your own palm dramatically, curling his fingers over yours so that you’re holding it in your fist now. you watch him with furrowed eyebrows the entire time, confused.

"no charge, mayfield. knowing that i helped you get back from the edge is enough for me, alright?" he says quietly, still holding your hand within his own. the two of you stand like that, frozen in time, for a moment before his gaze lifts over your shoulder. a grin encompasses his face, and he turns his eyes back on you. "i'd ask if you wanted to come in, but it looks like someone is waiting for you back there." he nods his head in the direction of your trailer, and you turn your head to look, catching a glimpse of max in the window before the curtain closes quickly. you can't help but laugh, and when you turn back to eddie, his eyes are locked on your hand in his.

when he realizes you're looking at him, he clears his throat and drops his hand away, shoving both of his into the pockets of his flannel pants. the action makes you blush, and in a sudden act of bravery, you tilt up on your tiptoes, leaning forward to press a small kiss against eddie's cheek. "thank you, munson."  the smell of smoke and his aftershave fills your nose as you pull away, and you start to back away slowly from the landing. eddie's head turns, and he blinks slowly, almost sleepily, and gives you one of his grins. you don't even bother trying to suppress the butterflies again.

"don't be a stranger, mayfield." he calls out at you as you make your way back to your trailer. when you reach your door, you turn back around, noticing that eddie was waiting for you to make it back. giving him a small wave, you finally head back inside, hiding the little baggie within your sleeve so that max wouldn't see it. when your door is shut, you lean against it, a soft smile tugging at your lips.

if being desperate meant having more interactions with eddie munson, maybe it wasn't such a bad thing to be after all.

[star-lemonade]

Iced Americano

Ateez Wooyoung x Reader

Genre: fluff

Cw: being tapped in an elevator

Rating: G

Word count: 2.2 k

The coffee shop on the ground floor of the building you worked in was a fixture in your daily routine. Every morning you would enter through the glass door and get in line. There were a few tables, but at this time in the morning no one was sitting down. Everyone wanted a coffee to go. The line for the counter seemed to get longer every day. You should not wish for any one to get laid off, but you wanted the guy fired. The barisa was a young man but that did not he was agaile in any way. He was slow and made a lot of mistakes. He did not want to be there, it was written all over his face. Every day you wished that he would quit. It was mean, but he would do better somewhere else. Yes, he should do something that he actually enjoyed.

Today was the day where everything was different. It was your usual time, but there was barely a queue. You got in line after two men in suits and soon it was your turn. It became clear why there was no queue. The old barista had left and there he was, the cutest guy you had ever seen. He had a smile that everyone wanted to be the recipient of. It was so charming the phrase “to be wrapped around someone’s finger” suddenly made sense. There was a moment in which you just wanted to be in any shape that would please the cute guy with the two toned hair.

“Good Morning! What can I get you?”

He beamed at you and his voice was so cheerful, you automatically smiled back. The little beauty mark under his eye added to his already beautiful face.

“Ehm… one iced americano.”

...and your number, please. You did not say that out loud of course, but you definitely thought about it, when you were at your desk. He must get that a lot.

Mornings got way more relaxed and exciting. You found yourself looking forward to seeing the cute barista. He did not wear a name tag so you did not know what his name was and you were too awkward to ask him. These days you could be found at the coffee shop in the afternoon too. You would get something that was not coffee and sit down at a table. For ten minutes or so you would get your mind off work and watch the barista work. You marveled at little drawings he made on the cappuccinos and the ease with which he handled his work. He had fun, genuine fun, doing his work. It was not something you saw often. For most people their work was soul crushing and they would not do it, if it was not for the money they needed to pay their bills. The barista however loved it to make coffee and other drinks for the customers.

It was Thursday evening and no one was in the office any more. Well, almost no one. It was just you and the three people, who had a meeting in one of the conference rooms. You had finished what you had to do, but at what cost? The summer sun was setting outside. It was late already. You shut down the computer and stretched. It had been a long day and going home was your only objective now. How nice it would be to fall into bed and sleep! Tomorrow was your day off and you intended to sleep in. Before leaving you went to the restroom. I look as tired as I feel. You pouted at your reflection. It did not help.

When you returned to your desk to get your bag, the room was filled with the smell of coffee. The meeting must still be going for a while, when they drink coffee at this hour. Although there was Mike in there and he could drink coffee whenever.

The elevator was already on your floor and the door opened immediately. You pressed the button for the ground floor. Finally, work was over.

“Wait!”

A shout echoed in the empty hallway. You pressed the button to keep the doors open and a moment later he entered. The barista from down stairs. He was still wearing his uniform.

“Thanks!”

He flashed you a smile and the doors closed. You stood in one corner of the elevator and he stood in the other. The only sound in the small room was the noise of the machine descending. You were alone with him for the first time, maybe you should say something? The number over the door counted down 15,14,13. He had his hair up in a half ponytail that exposed the blond layer in the back of his head. Even though he looked more tired than you had ever seen him, he was still beautiful. You had a hard time trying not to stare.

The lights flickered and with a crunch the elevator jerked to a hold. You grabbed the railing, but the sudden movement of the elevator sent you to the floor anyways.

The normal white light had been replaced by the dim red wash of the small emergency light.

“Are you okay?”

The barista was still on his feet and offered you his hand. In the dim light it was hard to make out his face.

“Yes, I’m okay.”

You took his hand and he helped you up. The elevator was not moving anymore. The faint surring of the fan and your breathing were the only sounds in the room. Your eyes started to adjust to the new situation and you saw the red bell button next to the door.

“Looks like the elevator is stuck. Let’s try calling someone.”

You stepped closer to the panel with the buttons and pressed the button with the bell on it. An almost inaudible electric buzz came from behind the button.

“Hello?”

A tinny voice came from the loudspeaker. It reminded you of old radio recordings, highly compressed and cut off at high and low frequencies.

“Hello. The elevator stopped and we are inside.”

You did not know where the microphone was so you just talked loud to the room.

“How many people?”

“Two.”

You glanced at your plus one who looked over your shoulder. He stood close to you and you felt his presence.

“Okay. First of all don’t panic. We will get you out but it will take 30 minutes for someone to arrive. I can’t open the doors alone. Okay?”

You looked over your shoulder. The barista was looking at the speaker then his glance flickered to meet your eyes.

“We will be okay.”

He answered with confidence.

“Good. if you don’t hear the fan moving press the fan button. See you soon.”

With that the disembodied voice vanished. You were alone.

“Looks like we’re going to be here a while.”

He sat down leaning against the wall opposite the door. You did not know what to do now. This was just perfect. You wanted nothing more than to go home, but here you were stuck in this metal box. Standing alone felt not appropriate so you put your back against the wall next to the panel and slid down.

“I’m Wooyoung by the way.”

He smiled even though today it was not as bright as usual. Now that you looked at him, you noticed that he looked more tired. It was late for him too. You introduced yourself.

“I know your name. You come to the cafe everyday.”

“Right.”

Oh my god, he knows my name. If you were not so tired and irritated by this situation you would be happy about that. You finally knew your crush’s name and knew that he remembers yours.

“Do you work here?”

“Yes, I do.”

You had an ordinary office job, so you did not know what else you should say about it. He had started the conversation, and you really wanted to continue it.

“What were you doing up there?”

You tried to make the question not accusatory. Whether it worked or not was unclear, but Wooyoung smiled.

“Someone called and asked for a delivery. We don’t really do that, but since it’s the same building, I said yes.”

“And now you're stuck here.”

You knew that they did not deliver because you had tried to place an order when you had just started to work there. What bad luck Wooyoung had had. He had been kind enough to make an exception but now he was trapped on the elevator for an unknown time.

“It’s not so bad. Since I have good company”

He looked up at the ceiling. This almost shy behavior contrasted with his playful tone. You smiled to yourself.

“What do you do when you don’t work at the coffee shop?”

“Not much. Playing games and learning Italian.”

There was a small pause before ‘Italian’ and his shoulders tensed.

“Italian?”

Not a lot of people here learned the language, so naturally you wondered why he was learning it. Apparently this was the question he had dredded. Wooyoung loosely wrapped his arms around his legs.

“Is there a special reason?”

You paid attention to your tone when asking this question. It felt like you were on a minefield trying to avoid what would upset him.

“I want to go to Italy and learn more about coffee there.”

He looked at his hands. The bracelets on his wrist looked pretty on him. His shoulders slumped slightly.

“Wow, that’s so cool!!”

Wooyoung‘s head shot up, eyes wide open in the dim light.

“Really? You don’t think that’s dumb?”

You could almost see his eyes sparkle. Damn, he is so cute.

“I have seen you make a cappuccino for a friend. It was super cool.”

Your friend and you had smiled at the cute pattern in the milk foam. It was more something you expected from a bit more expensive coffee shops.

“Thank you.”

Wooyoung beamed at you. Now that you thought about it, his reaction made sense. Most people do not see the value in doing such a menial task as making coffee. Who would want to work at a coffee shop, if they were not the menager? However there were people who enjoyed these things. They often ended up in jobs that paid more, but were less enjoyable.

“What do you do in your free time?”

You looked up, just now noticing that you had been lost in your thoughts. Wooyoung rested his chin on his hand and made you feel like you had his undivided attention.

“I play video games and I paint.”

These days you arguably spend too much time playing games. After coming home from work you had not enough energy to do anything productive. You just watched something or played games.

“You paint? That’s so cool!! Can you show me something?”

Wooyoung was thrilled. He leaned forward, eyes sparkling, hoping to see something you had painted. You wanted to say no, but his puppy eyes made it hard. You caved and pulled out your phone.

“I’m not very good, so don’t expect anything groundbreaking.”

You showed him some of the recent pieces you had done. Most of them were landscapes with some still lifes thrown in. Humans were simply too hard to draw and you did not have the patience to learn it.

“Woah. I like that one!”

Your face felt hot from his compliment and your heart skipped a beat, when you noticed how close he was. It was totally innocent of course. He had just moved closer to look at your phone, but the effect was still the same. Your heart hammered in your chest. Wooyoung looked up and you could see the little beauty mark under his eye. It was very pretty. He noticed how close you were and gave you some space.

“Wooyoung-”

BANG-BANG!

“Are you okay in there?”

A voice followed the banging on the elevator doors. The old building manager and a technician opened the door from the outside. They helped you climb up to the next floor. The air in the hallway was much better and the lights almost blinded you. Sitting in the artificial twilight of the emergency light had made your eyes sensitive.

You thanked them and together you and Wooyoung took the stairs. It was unlikely that the other elevator would get stuck too, but you just wanted to move your legs.

“They were pretty fast.” Wooyoung’s voice echoed in the empty staircase. “It wasn’t even 30 mintues.”

You nodded. That had been your chance to ask him out. Now that you were in the outside world again, you could not bring yourself to ask him.

“Can I ask you something?”

Your steps had synchronised as you walked down between floors 7 and 6.

“Sure.”

He stopped and looked at the floor. He bit his lip before saying: “Would you like to play some video games some time?”

You stared at him as heat was creeping up your face.

“I would love to.”

You smiled at him and he beamed right back at you.

[scrawnytreedemon]

Shit I’ve Been Winding Up For A Long Time Now But Am Very Aware Will Probably Hold No Relevance Should I Actually Go Into This More--

This is about Bhunivelze.

I.

You know, when I was chilling out, on my bed, that evening on that half term in early June, deciding to check up on ClementJ64′s FF retrospective because-- Hey! It’s been awhile, I wonder if he’s got around to doing the final bit of the FFXIII saga --You know, I was there, chilling, just for a laff. Just a laff.

The rest of that week was spent spiralling into a hyperfixation I absolutely did not anticipate in any way, shape, or form, because the way they introduced that character was “wwhdhfjjhHJDFJKHKJHW H A T??”

That retrospective and a good amount of wiki-scrounging is all I have as a basis for this. This is not a coherent character analysis-- Though I might tag it as that for ease of access. This is not, by any means, the thoughts of someone deeply familiar with FFXIII on the whole beyond plot synopses and overarching themes.

I don’t think I’m brave enough for that.

Reading the vast yet surface-deep lore on those wiki pages on my birthday while in a delirious state of mind was enough to make me somewhat nauseous.

Do you think I’m going to go through all of that in real time?

(Someday, someday.)

Ugh, I don’t know how to begin, but let us, I guess. I’d recommend you read this church-mime-demiurge’s FF Wiki page if you want the same level of base-knowledge I had, and maybe the aformentioned retrospective if you want the experience, because I don’t think I have the wherewithal to get into all of that from the bottom-up.

I am also, so, so fucking sorry for any remaining FFXIII fans in advance. There is like, a good chance I may be butchering the characterisation completely, so bear with me here.

With that... we begin?

Where do we even start with this guy?

How on earth to you begin to explain the absolute monolith you’ve constructed from crumbs of a Guy, some material no doubt spliced in from the Pale King, Sephiroth, y o u r  o w n  G o d  O C and other characters, and the mountains of religious trauma you carry around at all times that is probably the only reason you’ve been able to latch on as hard as you did?

I’m going to try.

What gets me, in summary, about Bhunivelze is how he’s a prime example of how love and concern can become deadly forces if in the wrong hands. His first acquainting with human emotion was by deceiving and possessing Hope, reverting his body to a teenage state, and planning to live among humanity through him. He sees human sorrow and suffering, and decides that, to End This(because it must be ended, you see) he’s going to destroy all the souls of the deceased that make up the Chaos that’s been eating this world for the past five-hundred years so they all forget and Are Happy. :).

Capital G God here hasn’t been present for the vast part of human history because he’s hidden himself away from Everything due to paranoia from killing his own mother and throwing her body into the Cosmic Basement, THEN creating the beings that would come to create humanity and OTHER beings because he didn’t have the keys to the cosmic basement. And also he believes death is a thing because she’d’ve somehow cursed all things to pass(including him) out of Spite.

Which explains why he’s so fucking averse to it and anything to do with it.

Bhunivelze, to put it lightly, is Shit at stepping into others’ shoes and Getting their experiences-- All the FalCie in FFXIII are, but him especially. It’s clear(again, in the f u c k i n g JP--) that he makes attempts to sympathise with them and does what he can to help, but it’s with such a loftiness and a complete inability to Understand why anyone would want grief, The Worst Fucking Experience In Existence, and even less why they’d be willing to Go Up Against Him And HisThe New Perfect World just for it-- And what would it matter, anyway, forgetting their loved ones. It’s not like you can grieve lost memories, right?

Right.

It reminds me of when at the end of the story of Job in the Bible, where, after putting this man through hell on earth, God rewards Job by giving him ten new children to make up for the ones that he lost. I. And that’s fucked! Nothing can replace the sheer uniqueness of each individual person you loved so dearly! But if you were a nigh-omnipotent deity high and mighty, with a cursory, almost mechanical knowledge on the functionings of the human psyche, that would seem adequete; enough.

Bhunivelze is doing that on a cosmic level.

I now want to get onto the romance: that being, his affections for Lightning. I don’t know how much I’m going to say, but it’ll probably be alot. It’s something that hits very close to home.

There is this... thing, within certain branches of Christianity, perhaps even in those of various Abrahamic faiths, where God’s love is posited to be the love-- The ultimate, most-fulfilling, all-encompassing love you could ever imagine --Because, well, he is love, so the story goes, and so often the best way to convey that is through the imagery of...

Marriage.

Giving up yourself so completely, to serve, to be the Bride; to be bound by him for all eternity; and for there to be no higher bliss than this.

This angle is pushed on young girls and women the most; from the mere parallels to the woman’s role in marriage, all the way down to downright-horrifying ultra-Evangelical purity pacts. With men, God is your dad, your best bud and confidant, your boss, your king, your this, your that, and the ‘marriage‘ as it were is relegated to a sort of half-thought; a metaphor.

For me, God was an attempt at all that, and my arranged groom.

(It was almost incestuous; was incestuous, that my own Divine Father would reach for my hand in marriage.)

Bhunivelze experiences Emotions™ for the first time through Hope, experiences Hope’s sheer overwhelming admiration for Lighting(whether there were any baby-crush feelings mixed in, I can’t say), and promptly falls into a nigh-romantic obsession with Lightning, deciding that she will be Etro(his all-but daughter)’s replacement, will be his Goddess of Death to-be-- He even calls her as such, before the final boss-battle--

...In the JP.

What happened in localisation, probably due to a number of factors, all the way back in early 2014, was that everything emotionally challenging about Bhunivelze was scraped off, like it was extra fat, and tossed aside, leaving us with the bland, clichéd shell of a foe-god we’ve seen time and time again. And I mean everything. I mean his very love for humanity; the fact his ploy was, in his eyes, to save them. Because if they’d left that all on, then it would raise the question of even if there was such a seemingly pure, all-knowing, loving being hell-bent on setting things “straight,“ would they truly be unquestionable? Would we have the right to fight for our humanity in the face of the Creator of the Universe?

To reject a love so personal?

That’s what gets me about FFXIII’s tackling of God, no matter how hackneyed and poorly-executed. It’s personal.

It’s from a feminine experience.

I know that terming is... vague, and problematic, but the way Christianity and much of the video game industry handle femininity itself is weird and problematic, so as it stands, I’ll have to simplify it. Apologies.

What sets FFXIII’s Let’s Kill God™ plot aside from most JRPG Let’s Kill God™ plots is that with our protagonist being a woman, and one who is very in touch with her femininity alongside her sheer strength; often, in these stories, God is reduced to Yet Another Foe, expected or unexpected, and you are tasked with taking him down unquestioningly for the Good of Mankind-- You will fight God, because you are right to, and you will go man-to-man-to-however-many-men you decide to bring along for the bloodbath.

And that just, doesn’t speak to me.

Even as an Extian.

Especially as an Extian. And an AFAB one with a deeply complicated experience with my gender, at that.

Leaving Christianity was painful. Questioning God was painful. Coming to terms with the fact that I had been mentally, emotionally, and spiritually traumatised under the guise of All-Encompassing Love was so, so fucking painful. I had been taught since I was five years old to devote myself to him, spent my life desperate to feel something, anything, to stay connected because I just, I never could Feel It on a deeper level, never could Give Up Myself, all I was, couldn’t Die A Spiritual Death And Be Reborn As His Eager Vessel, thus deeming myself to be worthless and a broken vessel for years and years on end... And for all that to have been... Nothing.

Lightning is hollowed out, the shards of her dead sister ripped from her in-stasis, leaving her emotionally numb for the majority of the game, Bhunivelze sweeps it under the rug, pretends he’ll perform a miracle and return Serah to life in exchange for her compliance, then sends her on her way to do his work, all the while knowing he’s going to pull said-rug from under her and elevate her such dizzying heights in the aftermath--

That he’ll deny her humanity.

Sand down all the rough edges that make her her, and polish her up afterwards, gild her as he is gilded, make her a Goddess.

And he’ll do it all because he loves her.

You can’t fight God like you can everything else. To fight It is the fight Existence Itself; FFXIII even conveys that by making Bhunivelze’s model part of the arena; it’s baked into the fabric of the game, no matter how minute.

While Lightning Returns is far from perfect in its execution of this concept, and that in itself makes me wince, not even taking into account the horribly botched excuse for a localisation Bhunivelze endured, it speaks to me more than anything else I’ve seen so far.

And it’s helped uncover some things within me. Helped me untangle them, just a little more.

So, yeah. I have alot of Thoughts on Bhunivelze, I want to share them, and I’m kinda really sad I have no one but my currently-absent friend Vee to share them with. I could get into alot more, like his very Fucked relationship with familial bonds, and how Lightning’s role as saviour so deeply parallels the overwhelming panic and never-ending guilt of Evangelical proselytisation, but I think I’ll leave those for another time.

In short, Bhunivelze is the epitome of Divine Love gone deeply wrong; on all fronts.

And if all of that isn’t enough to intrigue you, then, in Vee’s words, Lightning and Velze are literally canon endgame Sefikura lmaOOOOOOOOOOOOOO--

[enjennie]

The Dreamies as types of dates

Mark

Carnival piers, ice cream and stuffed toys.

The shy date who planned and overthought things beforehand. Simple things like a date by the pier, winning you stuff toys at the carnival and stopping by the ice cream shop are the small things in which Mark would like to spend his day doing with you. Would most likely end the day with a ride on the Ferris wheel because he wanted to see the sunset from up high with you, but didn’t realize how crammed the carriage is, which means awkward glances and accidental hand brushes. He’s debating if it’s the right time to hold your hand, and panicking deep inside. In the end, he takes the leap and places his hand on top of yours, looks at you if it’s okay, before knitting your fingers together. He smiles to himself when you lie your head on his shoulder. “Is this okay?” “It’s perfect,”

Renjun

Museum and art gallery dates, pottery places or just somewhere to get your creative juices going.

Renjun’s the type to make up stories about the paintings displayed on the wall, claiming that the man in the canvas was a spy for the government, or that the picture of the chapel was an old cult gathering place. You think it’s definitely dorky, but don’t hesitate in joining in on making up the stories with him and by the end of the date, you’ve made countless of inside jokes and a bunch of plots you both made up, calling for a memorable date. Renjun would probably walk you home afterwards, and try to steal a kiss on the cheek (or on the lips if he’s brave). “Goodnight, I had fun today,” “I didn’t, the terrible fate you gave old man Harris in that one painting was harsh,” “Can I kiss you to make up for it?”>

Jeno

Karaoke, photo booths and record stores.

The date who surprises you with his singing skills at the karaoke/coin noraebang. Belting out to ballads as if his wife and three kids left him. Spontaneous plans and being pulled into every photo booth he sees, where you make kissy faces and silly expressions for the camera. Jeno wouldn’t want to pressure you in dressing up, insisting that you look lovely in anything you put on. At the vintage record store, he’d pick out his favourite album and put the headset on for you as you both listen. On the way home, he’d share his earphones with you and play the playlist he made for you while playing with your fingers and drawing on your palm. “Guess what I’m drawing,” “A flower?” “It’s my cat bongsik, but okay,”

Haechan

Amusement parks, rollercoasters and street food.

Extremely loud screaming that turn into high notes at the rollercoaster, almost punching the haunted house actor for being too scary and several failed attempts at the claw machine. These are some of the many things that goes on in a date with Hyuck. He wants to try every ride with you, and taste all the food the park has to offer. Won’t leave the claw machine alone until he gets you one of the ‘special’ prizes, which turned out to be a blender. “Seriously, who gives away blenders as  prizes in an amusement park?” “Hey if you don’t like it then I’ll give it to my mom,”.  The laid back date who treats you like a bro, but offers his jacket to you when it gets chilly at night accompanied by a scolding as to why you didn’t bring your own, then takes you to a 7/11 to eat ramyeon because he wasted all his money on the damn claw machine.

Jaemin

Puppies, charity work and coffee breaks.

The date with the biggest heart who takes you to the puppy adoption center to volunteer because he wants to share his happiness with you. Stealing glances at you as you play with puppies and bathe them, seeing you being loving to the animals makes Jaemin fall deeper in love with you. You almost don’t want to leave the dogs and almost took one with you at the end of the day. Once you finish up, he takes you to a neighboring café and talk about the fun day you’ve had. Jaemin can’t keep the smile from appearing on his face, hearing you say how much fun you had and seeing how happy you are doing the thing that brings him the most joy. “I already miss the pups,” “What do you say we come back again tomorrow?” “Are you asking me for a second date, or do my ears deceive me?”

Chenle

Lightsticks, concerts and being the only person he sees in the sea of people.

You can never tell what’s coming next with Chenle. When he says he’s taking you to a concert, you have to ask if it’s a recital, orchestra or a band because you really don’t know what to expect from the boy. Chenle would buy the tickets on a whim and would be at your front door an hour before it starts. Screaming over the music, or whispering into your ear as you both danced together. Chenle the type to keep his eyes on you while you have the time of your life, spinning you around and asking for your hand to slow dance when the band plays a romantic song. Afterwards he’ll take you home and cook you dinner as you both recap the night you spent together. “I don’t even know the band,” “You’re kidding,” “I wish I was,”

Jisung

Arcades, dance machines and afterschool dates.

The type to hold your backpack for you and awkwardly walk with you. Lots of back of the head scratches and lame jokes to fill the silence between you both which still makes you laugh anyway. Challenges you to the dance machine but loses on purpose. He wants to break the record for the basketball machine to impress you, but gets pressured with you watching him, therefore only getting a certain amount in. Very student friendly budget date, he probably saved up his allowance weeks before. “I’m sorry, I’ll take you on a proper date next time,” “Are you kidding? I’m having so much fun,” hearing you say this would really boost his confidence, and he’d ask for a second date before this one even came to an end. Would take the bus home with you, offer you a hot pack to keep you warm and get flustered when your hands come in contact with one another. Shy side glances and a lot of blushing. You end the night eating snacks in a minimart and you listen to him geek out about the latest released video game.

[ordinaryschmuck]

What I Thought About “Separate Tides” from The Owl House

Salutations, random people on the internet who most likely won’t read this! I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons.

...>A-hem< F**KING CALLED IT!

I said that the earliest that The Owl House would return would be late June and early July. And some of YYYOOOUUU sons of witches doubted me by saying it would be fall or winter. Well, guess what! "Separate Tides'' has come and gone, the show is back and better than ever, and we are all happy about it! You see how it pays to be optimistic, you persistent PACK OF PESSIMISTS!

...Sorry. Got a little hot there. I'm just so happy it's BACK!

10 MONTHS! It's been nearly 10 months since this show began its hiatus, large in part because of the pandemic. It was painful. BOY, was it painful. But I can already tell that the new season is going to be well worth the wait just by this episode alone.

But beware you mangey sea dogs! Thar be spoilers ahead when discussing such a premier.

And I swear to you that it's only spoilers for "Separate Tides." I haven't seen "Escaping Expulsion" either, and I promise you will be safe from anybody ruining it for you. But maybe don't read any responses from this post. Thar may be d**ks in these waters. So let's review, shall we!

WHAT I LIKE

Mirroring Season One’s Opening Scene: First off, this is a neat callback to what is the perfect first impression of the series. That scene perfectly introduces us to the type of show The Owl House is, while this one acts as a reintroduction to the world we left for way too long.

Second, this is also a well-hidden character moment. Luz is finally living the life she dreamed of, but it isn't exactly all that she expected. It's a great showcase that despite literally running away to a fantasy world, Luz is still getting a regular dose of reality. And I still love the irony in all of that.

(Plus, King eating the bounty is just funny).

The Recap Recording: This is a smart way to recap events from the season finale. It might be weird that Luz says things that the audience already knows, but she's not talking to us. She's talking to her mom. So she's going to explain all that she can in a way for Camila to fully understand. Besides, not every fan had repeatedly watched The Owl House Season One over and over again like a bunch of frickin' lunatics...You know who you are.

Plus, as an upside, Luz gets to explain new events and concepts for how she and the rest of the Owl House are making a living. In no way does it feel like forced exposition because, again, she's trying to describe as much as she can to her mother. It's a reasonable and natural way to talk to the audience in order to catch them up while also showing what's been happening since we've last left this show.

Luz Can’t Send Texts to Her Mom: ...Well, Texts to Home, it was fun while it lasted, but the current canon has decided that you're done. I'll miss you and appreciate all that you've done for me, but, yeah, this is the end. Sorry.

Alright, now that I got my jokes out of the way, allow me to explain how this is really a heartbreaking moment. Because the fact that Luz is forever cut off from her mother, even through texts, is an idea that just twists the knife in your heart when you really sit down to think about it. Luz's little goodbye at the end of her video does nothing but makes it worse.

On the upside, we get some solid character development as Luz doesn't even hesitate to send the video to Camila, learning her lesson from "Enchanted Grom Fright" about being more honest. She finally faced her fear, even if it was a fruitless effort.

They’re Doing Odd Jobs Now: This is a smart workaround for how the Owl House residents are making money. Some fans guessed that maybe Eda had so much junk piled up that they wouldn’t worry, but this seems more of a logical direction. Even if Eda had enough garbage to sell, she’ll can and will eventually run out at some point, meaning that they will all have to take the odd jobs anyway. So I appreciate the writers used that plot point sooner rather than later, as a fun romp as bounty hunters is something you want to do early in the season instead of later on. Especially with how Dana Terrace confirmed that s**t’s gonna go down in the future.

Lilith: ...I'm still willing to hold off--What the f**k did I say his name was? *looks up past review* Frederick Ulis--Frederick Ulisinsburg!

I am willing to hold off Frederick Ulisinsburg, for now, because Lilith is...sort of on the right track. I mean, I don't like how quick she was to playfully mock Eda or rudely yell at Hooty. But I do think that there is potential for her character. She feels genuine guilt for what she's done, and there's a chance that the new season will explore that further if the writers are smart (which they are). On top of that, there's a possibility that every time Lilith tries to act cocky or full of herself, she will be treated as a proverbial punching bag because of it. Like how her poster got burned down after boasting how impressive she looks. Or how Golden Guard's poster magically sealed itself to her face when Lilith tried to throw it away. It's the latter that primarily got me cackling like a madman due to how deservingly hilarious it was.

And, well...she happily clapped like a schoolgirl! Which was adorable! I can't hate characters who have the potential to be adorable! It's not in my nature!

So, while I am a little hesitant in liking her, I think there's a chance for improvement in her character in the future that I look forward to. We just have to wait and see if the writers pull it off.

(By the way, to the person that came up with Lilith wearing a "battery low" shirt...you're a genius in visual gags/storytelling.)

Greg’s List: Have I ever mentioned that this show is funny?

Who's Greg? Why does he organize a list of perfect bounties?

I don't know, but the idea of some random person in the Boiling Isles is putting it on himself to set up a list to make bounties...I'm sorry, but that's funny to me. It's also probably for how Craig's List was made, but when you really think about it, Craig's List is a funny idea as well.

Eda Isn’t Feared Anymore: I sort of guessed that this would happen, but seeing it is a whole different level of sympathy to feel for the character. Eda's main schtick was being the most powerful witch on the Isles, and that's gone now. She's forced to adapt to this new normal, which she's quick to do, but still. Tt's got to be a rough kick to the ego now that no one even cares about who she is anymore.

It's a low moment for her character that hopefully sets up her own arc for the rest of the season.

Luz Feels Like She’s a Burden: I will demolish her with love and kindness if she even CONSIDERS talking so poorly about herself again! Because Luz is not a burden. She is a beam of light that literally brightens up the lives of nearly everyone she meets. Eda already explains how her life is better because of Luz (through a heart-tugging speech that almost got to me, by the way), but it's not just Eda.

King now has his first real friend who admires him and treats him like the king he wants to be.

Willow has become much more confident and cheerful because Luz was always in her corner.

Gus learns more about the humans he appreciates with his whole heart while also having a friend that treats him like an equal rather than a kid.

And do I even have to say ANYTHING about Amity?

The Boiling Isles wouldn't be better off without Luz. It's better because of her. And shame on this girl for thinking otherwise...even though I fully understand where she's coming from.

I'm about to get personal for a second, so strap in. Because I am a twenty-somthing-year-old who is currently living with his mom. It's as pathetic as it sounds. But it's because I'm still attending college, and she says school comes first and jobs and apartments come second. Despite that, I feel like trash for just...living here as she still takes care of me and pays for the food I can't afford. She says that I shouldn't worry about it, but I still wait for the day I can finally pay her back for everything. Not some things, but everything. And that's Luz's mentality in this episode. The overwhelming guilt she's feeling for thinking she's inconveniencing Eda's life is something that hits really hard for me. It doesn't matter if it's true, but that she believes it's true. It's a heartbreaking character arc she's forced into for this episode that also adds more to why she's one of the many characters I heavily relate to.

Lulu and Hootstipher: Whoever thought of this idea...I f**king love you.

This is similar to when Noah and Owen became friends in Total Drama World Tour. Seemingly one-sided at first, you see a cute friendship that you would have never expected, but it works! Hooty is this happy and naive character who hardly understands what's going on half the time, and Lilith is...Lilith. Their chemistry is instantly fun as their dynamic is quick to understand.

This also shines with potential for character growth, for it could give Lilith a chance to be more caring and Hooty a chance to be more than just the comic relief. If you were to tell me that this is what was going to happen when the season premiered, I would have thought you were crazy. But now, after seeing it in action, I'm genuinely excited to see where this cute friendship between these two goes.

(As long as it doesn't involve fans shipping them. Because Hooty can do better)

Luz Getting Better with Her Magic: Our little bisexual princess is growing up! And, man, is it awesome to see. Luz going from just barely knowing how to do magic to full-on using her spells like second nature just warms my heart with all the character growth it presents. Now, some people might want an explanation for how she's able to do said spells, to which I say: "Who the f**k cares?"

If you ask me, Luz's magic is one of those things that doesn't need a direct answer because it doesn't matter as much. But if you're going to be a baby about it, here's what I can offer: As far as I can tell, it's equal parts having the glyph and mentally picturing what the spell should do. It's much like how Willow draws a spell circle and can either make giant jungle vines or a patch of flowers to land on. Luz's glyphs are her own spell circles. As long as she concentrates hard enough, she can make the glyph do whatever she wants it to.

There. You have your explanation. Now let's just all appreciate the fact that Luz can now throw fireballs and make vine whips like the superpowered teenager she most likely fantasized of being. Ok? Ok.

A Pirate Losing His Head...Literally: ...And I'm gonna go ahead and add that to the list.

I mean, for f**k's sake, WE SEE BONE! He puts his head back on, but we still see the bone!

Eda in a Pirate Outfit: ...That is all.

The Golden Guard: This guy shows up for only a few minutes, and I'm already beginning to like him. He seems just as threatening as Belos while also coming across as a guy who loves his job and being a ton of fun to watch because of it. I adore villains that find that balance of being funny and terrifying. The result is a character who makes me laugh on top of making me scared of what they could do to our protagonists. So far, that's the Golden Guard in a nutshell, and I can't wait to see what the rest of the season has in store with him. Whether it involves seeing him play with food as he did with Eda and Luz in this episode or seeing him getting kicked in the crotch like a little punk like him deserves, I am all for it.

(Bonus points if it's Amity who does the crotch kicking if he ever makes an advancement on Luz)

Eda Wanting to Protect the Selkidomus: I love this. It plays into the idea that Eda cares about things being wild and free and despises how Emperor Belos would want to control everything, including the most insignificant of animals. It shows just how kind Eda really is rather than someone motivated by greed...even if she does end up filthy rich in the end.

Emperor Belos’ Brief Cameo: Yup, still terrifying!

And if it turns out that Belos can see the Scrying Potion that Lilith made...we're going to have some problems.

Much like the actual problems that I have with this episode!

(Like that transition?)

WHAT I DISLIKE

King Being Stupid: King has two different personalities in this series. Either he's a pathetic wannabe ruler who seems intelligent or an idiotic Disney comedic sidekick. That latter version of King is what we get in "Separate Tides," and I don't like it (obviously). I don't care how cute it is to see him cling onto Luz's leg and exclaim how he won't let her leave. The same character who helped Luz break into a prison to save Eda shouldn't be the same one who falls asleep when a sheet covers him like a dumbass parrot! King's at his best when he's as intelligent as the rest of the characters. And not as dumb as someone like Hooty.

Eda Being Too Nice Around Lilith: This one bothers me the most. After being cursed for thirty years and having her life ruined by the person she thought she could trust the most, Eda is still all smiley and jokey when talking to Lilith. Yeah, sorry, but I don't buy that. No one in their right mind would be that cool with a person who did all of what Lilith did. It's a major misstep that squanders what could have been a fantastic overarching story of Eda learning to forgive her sister and Lilith trying to earn it. We'll at least get Lilith's guilt, but as is, I feel Eda showing genuine anger towards her would elevate that story by a lot.

IN CONCLUSION

But that's about all the bad things I have to say about "Separate Tides." As is, it is a well-earned, solid A of a season premiere. It introduces new concepts and characters I can't wait to see more of, continues old storylines and character development instead of ignoring them, and still proves that The Owl House is as charming and funny as it always was. Maybe the rest of the season could continue to be great, or maybe things might get worse. Time can only tell. For now, all I can tell you is that "Separate Tides" is a great and fun episode that makes me excited as we set sail to this new season.

(And Scared. Mostly scared)

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #463

“the siren sings a lonely song of all the wants & hungers  /  the lust of love, a brute desire”

Describe the person that you would like to be in three years. I want my mental health to be in great condition, I really want to be in much better physical shape, ideally be living with somebody in our own place, have a job I'm happy with, have an improved social life, my own license and car... Think back to when you first met your significant other (or ex). Was your first impression of them accurate? It's funny, I honestly don't remember what my first impression of Girt was. I don't even recall our first interaction. I'm sure it was most likely that he was friendly, because he is and always has been. What is your most noticeable personality trait? Probably that I'm really, really shy. What kind of natural disaster is most common where you live? Hurricanes. Which of your family members do you resemble the most? I guess one of my immediate sisters? People tend to say stuff like they can definitely tell we're related. Have you ever had an animal get into your attic? No. Who knows you better than anyone else? Hell, probably whoever reads these. When was the last time you started a “new chapter” of your life? I guess you could call dating Girt a "new chapter." I have a much, much stronger feeling of this attempt being more successful than the last now that I've been able to change my angle on how I see him. What’s the most expensive thing your car needed to get done? I don't have my own vehicle and never have. If you had a thousand dollars to spend on a pricey brand you like but can’t really afford (until now of course), which ONE brand would you choose? *shrug* Most products of highly expensive brands I find hideous anyway. Do you still talk to any of your old teachers? Yeah. One is a close family friend and actually our landlord. Does your family still use the home phone or are you all on cell phones now? We haven't had a landline is yeeeeaaarrrrsssss. Ever go to another school’s prom? No; my boyfriend went to the same school as me. Do you ever venture into the woods? What do you normally do there? No; we live in the city now. :/ When I DID live in the woods, I absolutely loved wandering around with my camera for stuff to take pics of. Does your significant other ever make you mix CDs? None ever have but omg I wish that would be adorable. How did you dress your freshman year of high school? I was one of them emo kids. Would you ever date your best friend of the opposite sex? WELP that's what I'm doing lol. Would you say you have a high sex drive or not so much? I'd call it normal? Higher sometimes, lower other times, but not to either extreme. Come with an unpopular opinion. Silent Hill: Homecoming is a great game and while there's a lot of fan service from the movie, it belongs in the series. It's actually my second (or third)-favorite installment. Most of the SH community absolutely hate that game. What’s the worst thing a friend has either done or said to you? A lot of shit Colleen would say if we got into arguments. She'd ridicule effects of my depression, said I'd never know what it's like to pay my own bills, stuff like that. She's hateful as fuck and everything cut deep. What’s fake about you? Like extensions, fake nails, botox etc. Nothing physical. If you got the chance, would you audition for a reality show? No. Have you ever gotten into a Facebook fight? More than once. What’s the cheesiest thing you’ve ever experienced irl? Hm, I'm unsure. Favorite flavor of jelly bean? Probably watermelon. Do you use Tinder? If yes, have you ever met up with someone you matched? No. You do you, but if I understand Tinder correctly, it just seems... really shallow to me. Like don't you JUST see their picture to decide if you're interested or not? It just enforces the false belief that appearance really matters in love. You just poured your heart out to your crush and all he/she does is respond “k”. What do you respond/do? Well, I don't have a crush anymore; my boyfriend and I literally exchanged "I love you"s last night. That's not a crush. But for the sake of the question, I'll imagine I was single and this happened, in which case I would be both hurt and annoyed. Like, either tell me you return the feelings or not. It's not hard. What's your favorite thing to order from McDonald’s? I usually get a quarter pounder w/ cheese or a McDouble, occasionally with a small or medium fry, depending on how hungry I am. When do you feel your sexiest? Never, hunny. What's your favorite emoji? I don't really have one? It just depends on what the situation calls for. What’s your skincare routine? I don't really have one... I just use a washcloth to clean my face. Who all out of your immediate family smokes? My dad and stepmom. Do you like incense or candles better? Incense, totally. Do you respect your parents? Yeah. What’s your bf/gf’s name? It's technically Donald Jr., but since high school, I've known him as Girt, a nickname I won't explain for his privacy. Do you wear glasses? Yeah. Do you like The Beatles? I honestly don't. Except "Hey, Jude." What was the last reason you got excited? Last night. When we were saying goodbye, I was scared to, but I told Girt I loved him, and he immediately said it back confidently. My heart did like five flips. I'm still over the moon about it. Yes, we just got back together, but we've been in each other's lives as a constant since HS, and after changing my angle of how I looked at him, it's not at all platonic anymore. Do you know anyone who drinks the pickle juice from the jar? Sara does alskdjfklwejrl;er Name something crazy that’s happened recently? Uhhhh... I dunno. My life is very uneventful to have something really "crazy" happen. Can you say for a fact that you’re happy right now? I'm happy about some things, but also nervous and self-doubtful. Have you ever zip lined? No, but they look fun. I'd just be really scared of losing my grip. If you broke your computer, would you be able to fix it on your own? Ha, no. Have you ever been on a boat and got sick? No, but the one time I was at the beach and on a boat riding to an island, I was TERRIFIED I was going to get sick because of the waves. I didn't, thankfully. Did you sleep well last night? For the most part. My new mask might just be working. Do your parents try and plan your life for you? Not at all. Do you have any pictures of you kissing someone? Yes. List two things about yourself that you find embarrassing. My weight and how dark my leg hair is. Do you like to cuddle with your pet when you are sad? Yes. Do you find piercing attractive or unattractive? h o t Do you have any secret hiding spots in your room? To put money, yes. Do you like parmesan cheese on your spaghetti? Ew, no. I don't like parmesan. Does your best girl friend have any talents that you don’t? Yeah. She can animate well, for one. And sing like a fucking champ. Do you have any video game systems in your room? Which one(s)? My Nintendo DS Lite is in here. Well, and my laptop is a gaming one. What color eyes does the last person you kissed have? ... Oh WOW I've known this man for a fuckin decade and somehow I'm not sure??? But I want to say light blue? Have you ever taken a ride in a helicopter? No. Have you ever visited hot springs? No. How slowly or quickly would you say you eat? I'm aware I eat too fast, because my mom will point it out almost without fail if we eat in sight of each other. I'm not a messy eater at all, just... fast. Chewing your food and swallowing isn't a complex task. I've made active efforts to slow down, I just haven't been able to succeed. It doesn't feel normal. That and I've come to discover that when I chew food TOO much, I don't like the mushy texture of it in my mouth. What did you do the last time you were with friends? Yesterday Girt and I planned to watch shitty Netflix anime for some laughs, but we wound up starting Attack on Titan, which I am officially pretty into. What kind of cologne/perfume do you like the opposite sex to wear? I don't care if they wear any or not, so long as they know how to clean themselves and therefore not actually smell bad. If you celebrate Christmas, do you get a real tree or an artificial tree? We always use a fake one. Is there someone who means a lot to you but they don’t know that? My sisters probably don't, really... Is money important to you? Live your whole life poor and I want to see you answer "no" to this. Have you ever watched a meteor shower? No. Do you like Slim Jims? LOOOOOOOVE them. Would you rather write a mystery or love story? Love story. Are you muscular? No. Working for it. Do you have one of those removable hand-held shower heads? Yes. Originally, this house didn't, but I hated it so much that Mom bought one. How many burners does your stove have? Four. Has your car ever been broken into? Mom's hasn't.

[toocool2btrue]

Confession is not flashy

This short story is actually a rewritten scene from the K-drama "Hospital playlist". There is a potential couple that reminds me of plance and I really wanted to reenact this specific scene in plance version. The title is also one of the song names in the drama.

Lance softly sighed, prying open his heavy eyes to answer his ringing phone. All of his exhaustion evaporated when he realized the hospital was calling, he hastily grabbed the phone and answered the call. "Hello" he whispered, not wanting to wake his sleeping nephew. 

"Alright. I'll be there" he mumbled, ending the call after listening to the brief explanation of the emergency. He turned towards Sylvio, pressing his palm on the young boy's forehead. Lance frowned in worry, he was still burning with fever. His heart felt heavy, he didn't want to leave his nephew in this state but on the other hand, he needed to perform his duty.

Lance stared at the wall for a moment, considering his options before finally getting out of the bed to get ready. He also grabbed his phone from the side table before heading out of the room, there was one more call he had to make before leaving.

           __________________

It was early hours in the morning by the time he returned home from his surgery. Lance threw his things on the couch before softly making his way towards his nephew's room. He gently opened the door, taking a peek inside. A smile cracked on his weary face.

The four year old boy was curled up in Katie's arms, who held onto him in a protective embrace, both fast asleep. 

He had to stifle back his chuckle, at Pidge's soft snoring. He tiptoed in the room, there was a bowl of water with small wet pieces of cloth resting on the side table. He carefully sat down on the edge of the bed and gently placed his palm on Sylvio's forehead again. Much to his relief, the fever had broken and now he was sweating profusely. Lance sighed in relief, shooting a grateful look towards the snoring figure.

His heart was finally at ease and Lance considered taking a few hours of sleep. He got up and started to make his way out of the room but paused at the doorway to glance at the scene once more. He smiled wistfully at the sight before closing the door.

         ___________________

"Hey.." Katie mumbled, sleepily rubbing her eyes. Lance smiled, glancing up from his phone. "Good morning" he greeted, getting up from the couch.

"When did you get back?" she asked. Lance shrugged, "I can't remember, I think around 5 something"

"Did you get some sleep?" she asked and Lance shook his head, "I tried to but couldn't. Don't worry I will catch some sleep before my evening shift. Anyway, up for some breakfast before you go?"

Katie grinned,"Yes please and some coffee too. I have a long day at the hospital today"

         ____________________

"Katie, thank you for helping me out last night. It really means a lot to me" Lance mumbled, taking a small bite of his pancake. Pidge, who was currently on her fifth one, glanced up and blinked at him in surprise.

"Don't be ridiculous...we have been friends for ages. Don't you dare thank me for things like this again" she threatened, piling another pancake on her plate. 

Lance chuckled, handing over the syrup.

"Besides.." she started taking a more sober tone, putting aside her fork and pushing her plate slightly away. 

"There is something I have been meaning to talk to you about" she stated and Lance's brow rose up in curiosity.

Katie sighed, taking a sip of her coffee to think more clearly. "A few days back...me and the guys were talking about how different you were in college. Always up for partying and having a good time. You know..always goofing off but still managing to get awesome grades"

Lance nodded, smiling fondly at the memory. "Yeah, those were the days" he mumbled wistfully, his college life seemed to be a faraway dream by now. He used to be so carefree back then but after his brother and sister in law's sudden death in a car crash. He had to suddenly grow up, in order to manage his work and take care of his nephew, leaving hardly anytime for self enjoyment.

"But ever since..the accident. You hardly do anything to enjoy or relax yourself" she commented and Lance shrugged, "I really don't have the time or energy to be a party animal anymore besides..I don't miss that life very much" he assured her.

"I understand that but it's still important that you have sometime for yourself. I want you to do something that makes you happy and don't worry about Sylvio, he and I get along famously and I would love to babysit him whenever you want time for yourself" Katie suggested.

"Really?" He asked and she confidently nodded. "Yes, I want you to treat yourself" she encouraged. Lance smiled to himself, glancing at his food.

"Contrary to your belief..I do treat myself from time to time" he stated, distractedly playing with his food. Katie's face scrunched up in confusion, "How?"

Lance smiled to himself before continuing, "Having a meal with you, playing video games with you, purposely teasing and annoying you, stopping by your office to talk to you...that's how I treat myself" he shyly confessed to the stunned woman.

"Being with you..that is what makes me happy" he declared.

I hope you liked it! Please Reblog if you did and thank you so much for reading. It went a little overboard with the word count but a few slip ups are allowed right?

(Also I think I need to add that I didn't say anything on pidge's end because the girl really hasn't given a proper response yet. That is why it is still an implied ship😂)

[shemakesmusic-uk]

Simpson is a Richmond-based singer and rapper who you may also know as Babe Simpson, one-fourth of the Tumblr-born rap collective Barf Troop. They dazed the internet back in the early 2010s with their uncensored, forward-thinking rhymes and aesthetics, and even got the attention of Drake. Though the collective has gone silent in recent years, Simpson has since cultivated her own steady following around her soft, and ruminative tunes. Her latest is 'Cherry Ice Cream Sundae,' a song about "treating ourselves with as much tenderness as we treat everyone else," she says, and is backed by a lush landscape of jazzy guitars and drums — a sound that could be considered a close sibling to the rap lullabies of Noname. Simpson's now sharing the song's peculiar video, which features a charming but eerie cast of marionette puppets. Over email, Simpson explains that she wrote the song after experiencing "a feeling that I’ve always been trying to put into words but I don’t think I was mature enough to be able to sing. I reached my breaking point where I was like, f*ck it, whatever happens, happens, and I’m gonna look on the bright side everywhere I can. I’m going to 'smile because I can.' I actually changed the original opening lyrics from 'The world is in the shitter' to 'Life is kind to who’s kind to it back.' The world has always been in the shitter, but that hasn’t made it any less special or sweet. I think that’s made me much more of a realist. I recorded it tipsy, upside down, hanging off my bed as a freestyle, and it felt so natural saying and listening to it back made me feel so proud." [via NYLON]

Earlier this week, Lana Del Rey revealed the artwork and tracklist for her new album Chemtrails Over The Country Club. Back in October, Del Rey shared the album’s lead single 'Let Me Love You Like A Woman.' It was the first song she shared from the album after postponing its planned September release. Now, she’s sharing the album’s second single and title track. She’s also announced that Chemtrails Over The Country Club will be out March 19. In a lengthy interview with BBC Radio 1 — during which she talked about the Trump insurrection and her album cover controversy — she mentioned that Jack Antonoff produced much of the album, minus 'Yosemite,' which was produced with Rick Nowels. Watch a music video for the album’s title track, directed by BRTHR, above. In a different kind of statement, prior to the release of the 'Chemtrails Over The Country Club' music video, Del Rey explained why she is wearing a cast in it: "When you see my second video for this album, don’t think that the fact I’m wearing a cast is symbolic for anything other than thinking I was still a pro figure skater. I wiped out on my beautiful skates before the video even began after a long day of figure eights and jumps in the twilight of the dezert. Anyways my fracture isn’t that bad kind of goes with my new bucket hat. Thanks to my beautiful family for my gifts." [via Stereogum]

Joining forces for the new uplifting track, G Flip and mxmtoon are sharing new empowerment anthem ‘Queen’, produced by Rostam Batmanglij. "'Queen' was written about the strong women around me, the queens that raised me and the queens I’ve met through my years,” G Flip explains. “My idea of a queen is not necessarily linked to gender; queens come in all forms and walks of life. To me a queen embodies power and strength; they embrace all they are fiercely yet gracefully. The song was written one sunny day in LA, I was chillin on Rostam’s lovely white couch and he turned around to me and said ‘how about we write a song about Queens’ and I replied with ‘F@!K yeah!’. I’m also super stoked to have mxmtoon on the track with me, she is an absolute queen. I first was introduced to her when I was trying to find ukulele chords to a Khalid song and found her cover on YouTube years ago. She makes awesome music and her voice has such a cruisy timbre to it so I was thrilled to have her jump on 'Queen' with me. She is also an avid croc lover and part of the LGBTQIA+ community, so obviously it just made sense!” mxmtoon adds, “So happy to be a part of ‘Queen’ with G! she and Rostam were such a joy to work with and so so much fun to collaborate with on creative as well. I’m so glad that it’s still possible to make art and music with someone even when they’re on the other side of the world, and I’m lucky that I got the opportunity to feature on G’s song. ‘Queen’ is a power anthem for any person, and I’m so excited for people to love it as much as we do!” [via DIY]

With her hotly-anticipated new album Magic Mirror out now, Pearl Charles gave us our latest teaser of what to expect earlier this week, sharing new glitzy bop ‘Only For Tonight’. “‘Only for Tonight’ tells the story of a currently bygone era of wild nights out on the town - the highs and lows of one night stands and the crashes of the morning after,” she explains. “The music video, directed by Bobbi Rich, leans into those excesses, paying a sparkly homage to the late-night musical television shows of the 70’s, from Soul Train to The Midnight Special, as well as the gauzy, Vaseline’d lens of ABBA’s music videos. With an added sprinkling of VHS special effects, you’re likely to feel like you’re watching a home-taped recording of a lost episode of Top of the Pops.” [via DIY]

Alt-pop trailblazer dodie has shared her new single 'Hate Myself' in full. Everything the songwriter touches seems to turn into melodic gold, with her debut album Build A Problem landing this Spring. Out on March 5, it's led by new single 'Hate Myself', which made its bow as Annie Mac's Hottest Record In The World. It's an apt title, with this instantly-viral moment offering an "inner monologue" that touches on some of dodie's inner-most feelings. The song depicts "someone who seems to find themselves in relationships of any kind with people who deal with their feelings internally - unfortunately resulting in assuming the issue is with them." dodie co-directed the video alongside Sammy Paul, shooting at the Cornish seaside village Polperro. The pair "excitedly landed on the silly idea of the training leading up to becoming a post-lady, and thoroughly enjoyed planning the many bizarre exercises she would have to perfect. Our excellent Art Director, Louis Grant, worked on bringing her home and training station to life. Though jogging on cliff tops in the rain, carrying a large sack and slipping in the mud was certainly cold and exhausting, I think I preferred it to slowly feeling sicker, licking stamps on a swaying boat by the Excel." [via Clash]

Berlin-based indie five-piece People Club are back with new single and video 'Francine', following on from their last release 'Lay Down Your Weapons', which focused on police brutality.  The new single 'Francine' tackles the topics of addiction and lovelessness. In the words of the band: "The song speaks from the voice of a lamenting partner whose lover (Francine) is helplessly addicted to drugs. Francine lost interest in her relationship with the narrator a long time ago. It's a song about commitment and how love can fade away leaving only wickedness behind."  Regarding the visuals, the band said "The 'Francine' video is a play on the old idiom of 'being your own worst enemy'. A phrase which quite beautifully captures the inner critic which we know so well, especially during the course of the pandemic - we've had to learn to each give ourselves a break. The video was shot in the depth of the harsh Berlin winter, in the depth of the pandemic." Director Felix Spitta added "I love the band and I love the different personalities. It is always heaps of fun working on creative output together. Riding through Berlin only with bikes and all the film equipment in the freezing cold almost felt like a masochistic idea from Saxon. It's inspiring to be surrounded by so many creative minds.”

Pale Waves are back with 'Easy', the third single to be shared from their highly-anticipated second album Who Am I?. Lead vocalist Heather Baron-Gracie describes the new track as "a song about how love can change your whole entire perspective on life itself. It’s saying ‘being in love with you is so easy, you finally make sense in my life because nothing did before'." The new single is accompanied by a James Slater-directed video that shows Baron-Gracie performing at a Tim Burton/medieval-style wedding in an abandoned church. Baron-Gracie adds, "I wore a wedding dress throughout and we shot the video in an old abandoned church. I’m really inspired by the gothic medieval aesthetic and at the time I was thinking of the video I was watching a lot of Tim Burton films whose creativity really inspires me." Pale Waves' second album will follow their 2018 debut LP My Mind Makes Noises. Baron-Gracie says of their upcoming album, "For me, music and art is for people not to feel so alone and isolated. I want to be that person my fans look up to and find comfort in." [via the Line Of Best Fit]

The official video for Zoe Wees’ new single, 'Girls Like Us,' is online now. Like the song, the clip sends a message of togetherness and solidarity to girls around the world who are feeling the pressures of society. Zoe Wees says, “It’s not always good to think about how you look to the rest of the world. It’s much more important to think about how you feel inside. It is not easy to call yourself beautiful but being confident helps you to accept and love yourself.” The 18-year-old Hamburg, Germany-based artist adds, “We’re walking through a world with blinded eyes. At the end of the day, we all go to bed without make-up with the ugliest clothes and wake up with the messiest hair on earth.”

Julien Baker has shared a new taste of her forthcoming album Little Oblivions by way of a new single ‘Hardline’. Julien says, “A few years ago I started collecting travel ephemera again with a loose idea of making a piece of art with it. I had been touring pretty consistently since 2015 and had been traveling so much that items like plane tickets and hotel keycards didn't have much novelty anymore. So I saved all my travel stuff and made a little collage of a house and a van out of it. I wanted to incorporate it into the record and when we were brainstorming ideas for videos we came across Joe Baughman and really liked his work so we reached out with the idea of making a stop-motion video that had similar aesthetic qualities as the house I built did. I don't know why I have the impulse to write songs or make tiny sculptures out of plane tickets. But here it is anyway: a bunch of things I've collected and carried with me that I've re-organized into a new shape.” The video for ‘Hardline’ was directed by Joe Baughman, who notes: “Man, even after having spent 600 hours immersed in ‘Hardline’ and having listened to it thousands of times, I am still moved by it. It was a fun and ambitious challenge creating something that could accompany such a compelling song. The style of the set design, inspired by a sculpture that Julien created, was especially fun to work in. I loved sifting through magazines, maps, and newspapers from the 60s and 70s and finding the right colors, shapes, and quotes to cover almost every surface in the video.”

Teenage Joans are staying true to their world and unveiling 'Something About Being Sixteen', a new single that's sure to cement their 2021 as victorious. It's the perfect successor to 'Three Leaf Clover' and a track that makes it two-for-two for Teenage Joans, further capturing the excitement and energy within Cahli and Tahlia as they trade catchy riffs and thriving choruses with the combo of light-heartedness and intimateness that seems to define Teenage Joans' work, and how they're able to look in at themselves (and out at the world around them) through a lens that keeps it fun and digestable. "'Something About Being Sixteen' is undoubtedly Teenage Joans' great take on the classic coming of age rock tune, generally closing our live sets with audiences singing along every time without fail," the duo say on the single. [via Pilerats]

Kate Hollowell took a risk going by the moniker Number One Popstar when she released her debut single 'Psycho.' However, Hollowell didn’t mind if that choice set her up for failure or not. She goes with the flow. Luckily, that mentality has advanced her even farther. Now, Number One Popstar releases her second single, 'I Hate Running.' New Year’s resolutions are, most of the times, created for the wrong reasons. It’s also no surprise that majority of people’s goals center around exercising and weight loss. 'I Hate Running', however, challenges that mindset, satirizing the toxic nature of exercise industry and diet culture. Hollowell said herself, “The song explores facing the hard, emotional work instead of the physical.  I really don’t enjoy running, and I wanted to troll the exercise industry and write an anti-motivational song.” In terms of sound, 'I Hate Running' shares similar vibes to her first single with its classic 80s pop of saturated synths. But, this time, there’s a hint of disco with the zealous psychedelic guitar and electric drums and keys. The interludes consist of a symbolic, robotic, and almost sinister snippet from a workout instructor. It all complements well with Hollowell’s escapist lyrics. Even though the lyrics say otherwise, the track’s sound might just spark that motivation to workout or dance, doing mindful movement that makes us feel good. Exercise should never feel like a punishment, and Number One Popstar is here to remind us. She makes us want to stick it to the exercise industry, proving to it that we will only work out for the right reasons. [via Earmilk]

Alt-pop riser Chloe Rodgers has shared her new video 'The Algea' in full. The Nottingham based talent sparkled in 2020 in spite of the pervasive gloom, releasing two startling singles. Her third release could be her best yet, with 'The Algea' hitting streaming services just before Christmas. The video captures those mid-winter chills, while providing a platform for Chloe to express herself. Constructed alongside creative director Kate Lomas, it was shot at Newstead Abbey in Nottingham. Chloe comments... "I wanted to use a music box in the video to represent being objectified and getting stuck in the same cycles, as that’s largely what the song is about. I wrote the song when I was 18, but didn’t add the verse at the end about claiming my power back until a couple of years later when I felt a bit stronger. We tried to reflect this in the video too with the Chloe in white sort of protecting the other Chloe of the past." Kate Lomas adds: "This was such a joy to watch come together, the video concept is based around the idea that Chloe is the character in a music box, she’s the performer that’s spinning round on an endless cycle for other people’s entertainment. The video tells the tale of Chloe definitely breaking this cycle and no longer playing this role." [via Clash]

Jaguar Jonze has announced her ANTIHERO EP will be released on April 16 via Nettwerk Records. With the EP announcement, Deena shares the official music video for her latest single, 'ASTRONAUT,' the follow-up to two previously released videos for 'DEADALIVE' and 'MURDER'. Each of the five music videos for the forthcoming ANTIHERO EP will come together through bold-palette videos that transform into an antihero character “in a cyberpunk, anime, futuristic, graphic, almost sci-fi world,” says Deena. Deena adds, “as ‘ASTRONAUT’ delves into my anxiety, I wanted the film to reflect that in a simple way that helped portray how my anxiety can sometimes manifest - a contradiction between feeling lost in vast spaces and trapped in claustrophobic spaces. I had a specific idea in mind, which meant that I had to undergo stunt training with professionals and learn how to maneuver in a wire harness. Most of the video had to be shot in a single take because of the stunts' nature in safety preparation, time consumption, and impact on the body. I'm still recovering from the bruises, but it was all worth it, and the team was amazing in pulling it all together. I'm proud of this one as it is 3 minutes of my rawest vulnerability, visually interpreted. I'm also finally ready to share it.” 'ASTRONAUT' is the sound of Deena liberating herself from a lifelong battle with anxiety.  “It is a human trait. It’s how we survive in the wild,” she says. “We’re all wired as humans to be quite anxious.  As females more so, because we’re more susceptible to danger.”

Rising star Mulay shares the smoking visuals for her new single, ‘Antracyte’. It’s the culminating release in a three-part video series from the Berlin-based alternative R&B singer-songwriter/producer/artist, ahead of her highly anticipated EP, which comes out at the end of the month via Groenland Records. Mulay explains about the single, “'ANTRACYTE' is the intro and title track to my debut EP. It’s the soundtrack to the birth of a villain and captures the moment of complete honesty to yourself about the awareness of doing wrong by the ones you love while feeling the inability to turn around. It’s about the desire to taste forbidden fruits, to cross and explore what lies beyond the line and the self-empowering feeling of playing by your own rules defeating the fear of consequences and the power of moral concepts. 'ANTRACYTE' tells a story of contradicting emotions, a story of love, lust, pain and a longing for more. It’s about facing your own darkness and sins, about self-revelation, emancipation and about paying its price, resigning to your fate.”

Only a band like shallow pools could make a blast of 'ice water' sound refreshing and necessary in the dead of New England winter. But the Massachusetts indie-pop group is usually pushing against the current of what we’d normally expect, and now the quartet hits us with a dose of cold reality through their new single and video. 'ice water' is a vivid new single that confronts the mental health struggles brought on by quarantine and isolation, and even the shallow pools aesthetic has reflected this by shifting from bright glowing neons to a more subdued color palette of beiges and browns. Call it a sign of the times, and call 'ice water' the sound of now; upbeat and jovial on the surface, a comet of pop smarts and hooks, but with the darker shine that resides in our lives when we’re positioned away from the screens and digital scenes. As Glynnis Brennan sings “Every day’s the same and / There’s no breaking out / Like I’m stuck here / Going through the motions now” well, we feel that. shallow pools describe “ice water” as “a departure from the music we’ve made in the past, but it’s the perfect bridge between our old and new sound.” That is certainly the case, and 'ice water' continues to showcase the group as one of New England’s sharpest, following a string of 2020 singles that included pop standouts like 'Haunted' and 'Afterlight'. “We wrote the song with our friend and producer, Chris Curran, and learned a lot about the type of music we want to be making in the process,” the band adds. “The song is about the impact that the state of the world has had on our mental health, specifically in the last year. We’re excited to share it and hope that anyone who has had similar experiences will find some comfort in knowing that there are others who can relate.” [via Vanyaland]

[sluttyten]

anywhere with you

summary: you visit your childhood best friend Johnny in Seoul for his birthday, and after years apart, the reunion is certainly one to remember

words: 6,468

pairing: Johnny x Reader

tags/warnings: friends to lovers, fluff, smut

In the last five years, you’d seen your best friend face-to-face only twice. Johnny was important, you understood that. He was always busy and he lived in another country on the other side of the globe, but you missed him. Texting him, hearing his voice (phone calls, NCT’s songs, videos posted by the group, his radio show), the brief occasions when you FaceTimed him just weren’t enough.

You wanted to see Johnny again, make fun of him to his face, be able to hug him and lean on him, so you decided to surprise him by flying over for a few days to spend his birthday with him.

“Did you get smaller?” Johnny asks when he picks you up at the airport. He’s leaning against a car, watching as you haul your suitcase and two extra bags over toward him.

“Don’t worry, I’ve got it.” You tell him, nearly tripping when the wheel of your suitcase gets caught on a crack in the sidewalk. 

Johnny grins and walks forward to help, tugging the bag from your shoulder, plucking the suitcase from your hand, and he guides you toward his car. 

“So you’re here now. What are we doing?” Johnny stuffs your luggage into the trunk of his car, and points to the passenger seat. 

“It’s your birthday I’m here for. Whatever you want to do.” You stand in front of him and look up, squinting against the sunlight. “I think you’ve gotten taller since I last saw you.” You stare at him for a moment longer, trying to pinpoint what it is that’s changed about him. 

“And hotter, right?” He reaches out, and before you have the chance to protest, Johnny’s dragging you in for a hug, lifting you off your feet and spinning you around. 

“I’ve missed you.” His words are muffled in your hair, his arms are warm and strong around you, and as you tuck your face against his shoulder, you’re reminded of feelings you’d entirely forgotten about from years and years before.

10 years old, playing video games with Johnny, trying not to knock kneed with him because what if he could tell you liked him through that simple touch? 11 years old and you fell off Johnny’s skateboard and scratched your arms and legs, and you cried and Johnny held you and told you it was okay to cry as long as you got back up again.

That crushed persisted for years, until you were fifteen and had your first kiss at a party with a boy who laughed at the dare and stole that kiss from you in an instant. You’d walked home with Johnny that night and he told you all about the girl who kissed him and how nice she smelled. That night you’d decided that having a crush on Johnny was futile. He obviously didn’t see you that way, and it would be for the best if you moved on. He had his eyes set on being a K-pop star anyway, you were sure he’d forget al about you.

But now here you were, nine years later. The crush surging back, full force.

You squirm and drop out of Johnny’s arms. “I missed you too,” you tell him, avoiding his gaze. “It’s cold out here, let’s go.”

Johnny cranks the heat as soon as you’re both settled in the car, the radio is low, just a dull murmur of voices reporting on stories that you can’t even fully hear, and he pulls out of the spot. You take a look around the car, noticing how the passenger side floor is totally clean, but when you glance into the back, there’s a gym bag, the contents of which appears to be scattered across the back seat, phone chargers, a camera bag, an umbrella, something that looks like a blanket. A few half-empty plastic bottles roll around on the floor.

“Hey, don’t look back there!” Johnny laughs, touching your arm so you look around again. “It’s a mess. I usually just throw stuff back there after practice. Taeyong’s always telling me to clean it up.”

“He’s not wrong.” You finally look around at him again, and you immediately have to shove down those annoying romantic feelings again. You forgot how Johnny looks when he drives, and it’s no different here than it was in Chicago. He drives with confidence, one hand on the wheel, staring forward with focus.

In short, he looks hot when he’s driving.

“So what did you bring me for my birthday?” Johnny asks suddenly.

“Am I not a good enough present for you? A spontaneous trip to come see my best friend for more than the five minutes we’ve managed over the last few years.”

Johnny rolls his eyes at you. “It’s been more than five minutes. I introduced you to the guys when you came to New York to see us. Remember, you had tons of time with me, but you spent most of it flirting with Yuta.”

“You know I like guys with piercings.”

His grip on the steering wheel tightens, you watch the way his knuckles go a little white. “Speaking of guys with piercings, are you still dating that guy?”

Only a month before, you’d been FaceTiming Johnny when your boyfriend came over. You’d tried introducing them, but when your boyfriend was overcome with jealousy, you’d regrettably ended the call with Johnny. And yes, that boyfriend did have several piercings, but not even that fact could have kept you together.

“I broke up with him like a week after that.” You tell Johnny. “He was always jealous over nothing. Especially when I would talk to you.”

“So you’re single? All ready to flirt with Yuta when I take you home with me?”

“I am, but maybe I have a new target this time.”

Johnny doesn’t say anything in response to that, but you think you notice a change in him, a tense set to his shoulders that doesn’t fade even as he starts pointing out places to you while he drives.

You talk in the passenger seat, updating him on the mundanity of your life for a bit before you start asking him about what’s going on with him.

“We just had those concerts. Right now we’ve got a little break for Chinese New Year.” He shrugs. “Practice, practice, practice all hours of the day and night.”

But the deeper you dig, the more Johnny talks, the more he opens up and soon it’s just like old times. Driving around with no destination in mind, watching the sunset burn over the city. You don’t care about stopping, just letting Johnny take you wherever, and finally he pulls to a stop in a parking lot, overlooking the river.

“Remember how we used to go to Navy Pier?” The words are out of you before you even really think about it. “That time we rode the Ferris wheel and you threw up because you were scared?”

Johnny laughs and leans his seat back a little bit. “I wasn’t scared! I’d eaten too much and the car thing was rocking too much. What about that time we went there with that group and I found you kissing that kid. He was in the band? He had glasses?”

“Oh God, please forget about that.” You cover your eyes and laugh, unable to face Johnny as the memories play in your mind.

You were pressed against the warm wall of a building, giggling a little as the guy you liked put his hands under your shirt, just touching your waist, and he kissed you. It was nice and felt risky because there were people walking by and it was almost dark out. You’d just started to reach for him, to touch him too, when you heard a voice call your name in surprise. Johnny stood a few feet away, looking at your crush’s hand under your shirt, your lip gloss smeared a little.

It was embarrassing having been caught by Johnny, and you spent the rest of that night internally panicking because Johnny saw you doing that and what if it made things weird, what if he started finally looking at you like someone who could be kissed, what if he looked at you and started wondering what it would be like if he kissed you? And then you’d imagined for a while that it had been Johnny kissing you against that wall and the idea was nice, but you’d pushed it away because you didn’t have a crush on Johnny, not anymore.

And in the present moment, in Johnny’s car, you found yourself distractedly staring at his lips again.

“I told you I got hotter.” Johnny catches your eye, and when he runs his hand through his hair, he holds the pose and turns toward you making an expression that looks totally silly, but your heart skips a few beats faster.

“You look the same to me. The same John Suh who I’ve always known.” You laugh, and watch as the expression slides off Johnny’s face a little before catching and turning into a smile. Deciding to change the subject, you tease, “So what are we doing? Just sitting in a car, watching the river? I knew you would show me fun things to do in Seoul.”

“Do you remember that drive-in we used to go to?” Johnny asks, leaning back a bit more. “Remember that time someone snuck in beers and we got drunk? Well, I did, anyway.”

“You were tipsy at the most, Johnny. But I remember you making an ass of yourself, if that’s what you’re asking.”

He reaches over and pushes lightly at your shoulder, but then he doesn’t draw his hand away, he leaves it there on your shoulder. “I just meant, we had some fun times at the drive in, and there’s one around here we could go to, but they pretty much just show Korean movies, or we could relive old times and have our own drive-in right here. I have my laptop back there, we can watch any movie I’ve got downloaded.”

“Couldn’t we have just done this at your dorm or something?” You feel a smile growing on your face. The drive-in was one of your favorite memories with Johnny.

“It’s better here, trust me. Quieter, more private. At the dorm, some of them would want to watch too and interfere with my time with you.” He squeezes your shoulder. “Or are you too tired to do a movie? We could forget about it, grab some food instead? You probably want to sleep don’t you? I just didn’t even—“

As he slips his hand from your shoulder to reach for the key in the ignition, you grab his hand and immediately calm him.

“It’s fine. I slept on the plane, so I’m wide awake. But I am hungry. Don’t you have any food in that mess?” You gesture to the backseat with your free hand.

“Some snacks. Do you wanna do this?” Johnny asks, and when you nod, he grins. “Then get back there.

You scramble into the back seat, and Johnny gets out of the car and comes around to the back, too big to be able to pull himself into the backseat. He quickly gathers the clothes and things scattered across the seat and shoves them all into his gym bag which he stows on the floor, and then he squeezes in and shuts the door.

“Just a sec.” He digs around in the mess on the floor, and a moment later comes up with his laptop, a handful of snacks, and the blanket you’d noticed earlier.

Johnny sits the laptop on the center console, boots it up, and after a moment of scrolling, selects a movie. You scoot closer to him, and Johnny drapes the blanket over you, and you rest your head on his shoulder, swept into comfort by his scent which is only slightly different from how he used to smell.

“We’re not going to get in trouble for doing this here are we?” You ask while the movie starts up. “No cops are going to come knocking, telling us to stop loitering?”

“I don’t think so.” Johnny puts his arm around your shoulders, both of you snuggled warmly together under this blanket in the backseat of the car.

It’s not quite like a drive-in experience, but it’s nice. It’s special. It’s close enough to the old times when you and Johnny would act inseparable, when you would be all over each other to the point that everyone thought you were dating even when you were dating other people. It’s comfortable resting against Johnny, feeling the vibrations of his laugh and his voice when he talks over the movie.

You like the feel of his chest under your ear, the warm solidity of Johnny, the smell of his cologne, the comforting beating of his heart. You think you could do this a hundred thousand more times and always feel the same surge of happiness and safety. And you have to fight the urge to hold his hand or touch his hair, and worst of all is when you sit up once and Johnny laughs because your hair is messed up on one side and all you can do is stare at his pretty lips and wish you were kissing him.

You quickly grab a snack to preoccupy your hands and mouth to keep from doing something stupid like kissing your best friend and ruining a decades old friendship.

Johnny doesn’t seem to notice anything, he seems perfectly content with having you snuggled against him, like this is something you two still do all the time, and it makes you wonder if there is someone he still does this with. If he has a girlfriend or a fuckbuddy or if he does this with some of the guys.

Before you can even work out a way to ask him that, Johnny grabs your hand that is holding the last bite of a melting chocolate snack cake, and he pulls it up to his mouth.

Now, you’ve never really been the sort to swoon or to act affected by one simple gesture. But.

The moment Johnny’s lips close around your thumb, sucking the small bite of cake and the tip of your finger into his mouth, you just feel weak. Your insides are all quivering—heart pounding, ancient butterflies bursting into flight, and (dare you admit it?) you feel a zip of pleasure straight down to your core.

He sucks and licks over your finger, and you feel your world constricting, shrinking from the whole wide world down to just that car and even further down to your thumb in Johnny’s mouth.

“What was that?” You gasp when he releases your hand.

Johnny, looking slightly chastised or embarrassed, doesn’t look at you. “Sorry, I don’t know why I did that, it’s just that cake smelled really good and so do you and I wanted a taste. Of the cake! I wanted to taste the cake. I should’ve asked. Fuck. I’m sorry if that was weird. I should’ve asked, but I haven’t been so close with someone like this since... you know...”

“You’re not talking about before you left?” You push away from Johnny, sitting upright.

The movie is completely forgotten now as you stare at Johnny, at his surprisingly flushed cheeks, the nervous darting of his eyes, the small fleck of chocolate at the corner of his mouth.

“Johnny, do you mean you haven’t even like cuddled with someone since you lost your virginity?” You try to keep the incredulity out of your voice.

He groans and drops his head back. “You don’t have to say it like that! And no! That’s not what I’m talking about.”

You remember it exactly like that. You remember a party while a friend’s parents were out of town, of Johnny drinking a little and flirting a lot with the pretty girl who was still somewhat new, who Johnny had been flirting with for weeks. You remember most people stayed over at the house, sleeping on floors, on couches, some on the kitchen table. The lucky ones got beds.

You remember that the next day when people started leaving you waited around for Johnny. And then you saw him walking with the girl, holding her hand, a big ass hickey on her throat, and Johnny was glowing with pride. You remember watching as he kissed her cheek and then left her with her friends before he came over to you and you walked home together.

You remember him telling you that he’d had sex with her, that they cuddled afterwards, and it was pretty good. He was sure it would be better in the future when he was less inexperienced.

You remember it changed things between you for a little while. He didn’t seem to continue things with that girl, not that you really noticed. Johnny just spent a lot of time with you, and you were glad for that because he was leaving for good soon. Making the move to Korea. So you were glad for all that time you got to spend with him, barely a moment spent apart.

And now Johnny’s looking at you again, his hand is wrapped around your wrist still, and you try not to let your fingers twitch toward holding his skin too. But you can’t seem to pull your gaze away from his lips.

Slowly, Johnny begins to speak. “I always had a crush on you, you know? But I didn’t want to live a cliche or ruin anything, so I pretended that I didn’t. I kissed other girls, slept with other girls, moved to another a country. It didn’t help. I’ve never felt as comfortable and as happy about doing nothing as I’ve felt when I’m with you. Always. So many of my personal happy memories are with you.” When you open your mouth, looking like you’re about to argue, Johnny keeps talking. “Yeah, there’s successes with NCT, but those are group memories. They’re great. But then there’s you.”

You shake your head. This is too much.

You scoot away from him, putting your back against the door, giving yourself some distance as you feel the cool glass of the window radiating through you.

“I always thought there was like, some kind of tension between us. Maybe just sexual tension since we were teenagers with raging hormones. Maybe it was romantic feelings that we needed to explore. Maybe it was just my imagination, I don’t know, but I left without going into any of that and it never got resolved and now here we are and I shouldn’t have done that, I don’t know what came over me. It was this spontaneous nudge to just... taste you.”

You feel a little foolish when hot tears burst into your eyes. Overwhelmed by emotions because is this really happening right now?

“Shit.” Johnny shifts and you feel the car rock. There’s a soft thump as the laptop slides off the console into one of the front seats.

And then Johnny’s kneeling in front of you and he reaches out but he doesn’t touch you. He watches a tear fall down your cheek, and you sigh and puff another breath that rises visibly between you since it’s so cold.

“I feel stupid.” You mumble after a moment.

You can see the thoughts running through Johnny’s mind. He’s worried, thinking that you feel stupid for not seeing this, for thinking he was just your friend when he’s had feelings for you this whole time. He’s thinking you regret this trip, this friendship.

“I’m stupid because I’m crying right now. Like what is this?” You wipe at your face and drag your palms against your thighs to dry them, but your face stings with cold now. “I’m not sad or anything like that. And I’m stupid because you just said all that stuff that I had no idea about.”

Johnny’s hand, which had been extended this whole time, finally falls to rest on your knee.

“I’m stupid because when we were ten years old, I was in love with you, but I talked myself out of it because I didn’t think you liked me, so at fifteen I moved on and started kissing other people. But now you’re sitting here in front of me telling me you’ve been crushing on me for forever, that you just involved yourself with other people because you thought that I didn’t like you, and it just turns out we’re both idiots and we’re living that cliche that you wanted to avoid.”

Johnny lifts his hand from your knee, and this time when he reaches for you, he doesn’t stop. He wipes at your cheeks, at the fresh warm tears.

“You know,” Johnny tells you, and his voice has gone so soft and quiet, gentle and low. “I’ve always wanted a birthday kiss from you.”

You nod a little bit. “Okay.”

Johnny leans in, his hand still cupping your cheek. This feels so juvenile, so innocent, to be together in the backseat of the car, about to have your first kiss together. Your palms are clammy.

The first press of his lips is sweet, chaste. Almost nothing and then gone. Almost like a test.

“I thought you said you wanted a taste of me?” You whisper, managing to tease him even when you’re this nervous. You feel like if he would just glance down a little, Johnny could see your nervous heart pounding in your chest.

The second press of his lips on yours is the kiss you’ve been craving. Warm and soft; his tongue sweeping along the seam of your lips; his hand cradling the back of your neck. You open your mouth for him with a little sigh, and Johnny moves closer to you, kissing you deeper, his hand moving down to your lower back, his other hand gripping your thigh, trying to pull you from the window into his lap.

You kiss hungrily, as if making up for all the years that have passed. Johnny’s hands roam your body, mapping out the shape of you, and you dig your fingers into his hair and pull yourself into his lap.

You can feel his boner, and it’s honestly not the first time you’ve felt his boner, but it’s the first time you’ve felt it and known that it was definitely for you. You smile into the kiss and hold him tighter. You don’t want this to stop even as the temperature in the car rises and the windows steam up and somewhere there’s music playing from the laptop’s speakers.

Johnny’s hands sneak between your bodies, moving to your chest, and feeling his hands on your chest pulls the first real moan from you. How many times had you dreamt of Johnny’s hands covering your breasts, warm fingers on your skin. 

“Take it off.” You tell him, and Johnny pulls his mouth away from where he was kissing your jaw. 

“Really?” His hands slide down to the hem of your sweater. 

You nod a yes. 

He pulls the sweater over your head, huffs with mild frustration when he sees the shirt you’re wearing underneath, and when he sees the tank top under that, he actually groans. You laugh and kiss his forehead, his cheek, kiss his lips again, and Johnny tugs the straps of the tank top down your arms, pushing the whole thing down to your waist.

His fingers are nimble and so warm as they move over your skin, searching for the clasp of your bra, and when they find it, you feel the sweet relief of your bra sliding off and then Johnny’s hands on your breasts. Bare skin on skin. You moan again.

“You like this?” He asks, thumbing over your nipples. “And if I--?”

The moment that Johnny leans down and licks over one of your nipples, you feel your panties soak through with a gush of arousal. He sucks on the peak, licks once again, and then kisses up your chest. 

“Are you really going to have sex with me for the first time in the backseat of your messy car?” You grip his shoulders, seating yourself higher in his lap, feeling the definite shape of his erection against you. Johnny’s hands slide down to your ass and he plants a kiss on your throat.

“Yes, I am. I should’ve done this years ago in the backseat of a different messy car.” He shifts and then your back is pressed to the seat, Johnny kneels between your legs, and checks with you first before he tugs your pants down, then your panties, and then slips the tank top that was bunched around your waist down your legs as well. 

The cold air tingles against your exposed skin, hot and cold meeting in a perfect storm, sparking goosebumps all over your body, your nipples standing out the most. You reach for the waistband of Johnny’s pants and tug. 

“It’s not fair that you’re still fully dressed. Come on,” You dip your fingers up under his shirt, run your fingertips over his stomach. “And also, for the record, I would not have let you take my virginity in the back seat of your car back then. You’d have done it properly. In a bed or something.”

Johnny smiles and whips his sweatshirt over his head, his shirt underneath following right after. He sinks down to cover your body with his, pressing chest-to-chest with you. “Have your standards lowered then since you’re desperate to have sex in the back of my car now?”

“Just tired of waiting.” You kiss him. “Now come on. I want to see your penis.” 

Johnny can’t help but laugh then, hiding his face against your shoulder and letting out this deep belly laugh. You feel his hands pushing yours out of the way, and then the drag of his jeans against your bare thighs. And then, the long awaited brush of his fingers against your clit.

“Oh, Johnny,” Your moan is almost more of a purr, and Johnny startles a little, like he wasn’t expecting that sound to come from you, or like he wasn’t expecting to find you so wet already. 

He mumbles something in Korean, and then he’s moving, sitting up again, moving you to sit up as well, then he’s maneuvering so he’s on his back on the seat, gazing up at you sitting over him like some moonlit goddess. 

“Please sit on my face.” Johnny’s fingers are on your thighs again, urging you forward. “I want to eat you out, this is the best way to do it.” 

You can’t argue with that, and you move forward, letting Johnny guide you a bit until you can feel his breath on your wet center. 

“Anything you want to tell me first?” Johnny asks, and you feel yourself growing wetter.

“Um, I love you?” You speak the words tentatively.

Johnny smiles and when he presses a kiss against your clit, your legs almost give out and sit you right down on his mouth. But they don’t you hold on just a bit, and Johnny laughs. “I meant like, is there any way that you really like it best? But I love you too.”

“Just go ahead. Go crazy. I’ll let you know if you’re doing it wrong.” You fit the fingers of one hand into his hair. 

He kisses your clit again, and this time you let yourself sink down onto his tongue, his lips, his hands supporting your ass and thighs. He licks over your center, tongue flattened, and you swear and look out the window. 

The park is quiet, not many people around since it’s cold and dark out, but the street lights cast pale circles of light, and Johnny’s car is parked just at the edge of one of them. A few other cars are parked in the lot, but they’re all at the other end, and as Johnny suddenly sucks on your clit and you cry out, you’re extremely grateful there are no other cars around. 

When he sticks his tongue inside you, licking at your walls, his nose against your clit, you have to throw your hand against the window to keep from crashing forward at the newfound pleasure. Your hand leaves a streak on the glass, drops of condensation trail down the window.

Johnny moans as he tastes you dripping down his tongue, smells your arousal, and feels you starting to move your hips, trying to ride his face for your own pleasure. He holds onto your hips, helping you move against his face, and soon you feel yourself peaking, pleasure washes over you, and you moan Johnny’s name, grinding down on his tongue as you orgasm. 

You fall backwards a bit, sitting on his chest. 

“That -- that was good.” You sit up again, giving Johnny room for him to move up, and then you settle again in his lap. His mouth and chin shine with your wetness. “Did you like that?” You ask, leaning in to wipe at his face, feeling the stickiness on your fingers. 

“You taste amazing.” Johnny drops his forehead against yours. “Do you want more?”

Draping your arms around his shoulders, you nod. “You think I’m going to settle with just having had your tongue inside me? I still haven’t seen your penis, Suh. And I want to feel it inside me.”

Johnny’s hands cup your ass and he raises an eyebrow at you. “Now? In the backseat of my dirty car? What kind of girl are you?”

You swat at his chest. “Just, come on. I’d be happy to wait and have you in a bed or at least somewhere more private than a car in a public parking lot. If you want, we could just wait til we’re at your dorm.”

“No way.” He kisses you again. “And I already told you, this is way more private than the dorm. Are you okay with riding me?” 

You nod. You’d be okay with anything at this point, you’re just so happy to have Johnny like this. 

When he reaches between you and undoes the button of his pants and slides the zipper down, he does so slowly, teasingly. You pinch his side and murmur a ‘hurry up!’ and Johnny laughs, pushes his jeans down his thighs, and then there’s his penis, tenting his boxer briefs. 

You smile up at him before you tease your finger along his clothed length. He’s hard and thick and just the perfect length. He makes a soft noise and it twitches under your touch, and you can’t stand not seeing it for a moment longer, so you reach inside, and draw his cock out through the opening in the front of his underwear. 

“Ohm a gosdf” is the sound that Johnny makes when he presses his mouth to your shoulder and you wrap your hand around his erection. You run your hand over him, testing the feel, testing to see his reaction as you lightly drag your fingernail from tip down to base. 

Johnny shudders and leans back against the seat, his eyes closed, his throat bare. 

“Kiss me.” He tells you, and you comply without a second of hesitation.

Kissing Johnny, you’re quickly learning, is the best feeling in the whole world. It’s familiar and new all at the same time, it’s safe and warm and comforting, radiating love into every part of you, reigniting those distant reaching feelings you’d long buried deep, but now you’re letting them thrive. 

So you kiss him and you touch him.

When you lift up on your knees and shift forward, Johnny puts a hand on your hip and pushes you back a little. He backs out of the kiss, but presses in again to kiss you a few more times before he regains control of himself and stops you for pushing down on his cock.

“I have a condom, hold on.” He ducks around you, reaching down to dig inside his gym bag, and he finally pulls out a foil square.

“Do I want to know why you just have that ready to go in your bag?” You ask, wiping at his glistening bottom lip as Johnny frowns down at the wrapper and tears it open. 

He kisses your cheek while he reaches down and rolls the condom down his dick. “It’s a precaution. The company passes out new condoms at the start of every month. They figure if we’re going to be having sex, they want to make sure we’re being safe. Some people have a bigger stockpile of condoms than others do. There. Now you can go.”

And in that moment, reality hits you.

You’re really there. You’re really sitting in Johnny’s lap, one orgasm down, at least one more to go, his lips are kissed pinker by you, and you’re about to take his cock for the first time. This is what you’d wanted for so long, and now here it is, right there for you.

“Are you okay?” Johnny asks, and then he’s touching your face, pushing your hair back behind your ears. “If you don’t want to do this, we really don’t have to. Whatever you want. Let’s stop. We can go eat, like I said.” 

“It’s fine. Sorry. Sorry, I was just thinking, like I’m really about to have sex with my best friend.” You slide your hand over one of his shoulders, feel his heartbeat under your hand, and your other hand you touch his hair, brush your thumb over his cheek. “I’m really happy right now.”

Johnny smiles and kisses you again, another sweet, chaste press of his lips on yours. “I had that moment earlier before, when you said ‘I love you.’”

You whisper it to him again then, and Johnny kisses you once more, and you cling to him, holding his mouth to yours as you reach down with the other hand and hold his cock for you to sink down on.

It’s a stretch, taking him inside you, but it’s a pleasant stretch, having him inside you for the first time. You don’t stop until you’ve taken him all in, and you hold there, getting used to that feeling. 

When he flexes his hips, pushing up into you, you start moving again.

Johnny’s mouth slips from yours, and he leans back to watch you move, delicious sounds leaving his lips along with your name. And he lets you control the pace, though you can see he wants it faster, but you want to draw it out some, make it last because you’re only here for three days, and you don’t know how many times you’re going to get to have him like this before you head home.

And you would gladly draw it out endlessly, riding Johnny until he cums for you, until your legs give out, until the sun rises. 

But a car pulls into the lot. The headlights sweep over the car, glaring through the steamed windows, and the other car pulls into a spot a few down from Johnny’s car.

“Oh, shit.” You laugh, sinking down on Johnny and pressing close to him. It’s probably obvious, even from the outside of the car what’s happening inside. The windows are completely fogged over, you’d felt the car moving a bit as you and Johnny moved, and through the window, you can see someone getting out of the other car.

Johnny flips you over onto your back, pressing you down into the seat, and you almost shriek in surprise, but you bite your lip and dig your nails into Johnny’s shoulders. He kisses your throat and starts rolling his hips against yours, slowly at first, but quickly picking up speed. 

He pushes up after a few moments, glancing through the window, and you see his face highlighting in the artificial streetlights, misty from the damp windows. He looks so handsome and you tug him down as you rise up to meet him halfway for another kiss. 

There’s not much room, and you don’t even know how Johnny’s managing comfortably here in the backseat, but he keeps thrusting into you, driving his cock so deep inside you, you’re sure that you’ll still be feeling him a week later. And then he lifts one of your legs, pushing it toward your chest so he can hit a different angle inside you.

You reach up for something to hold onto, anything, as you feel your orgasm coming, and after your fingers slide through the condensation on the window, they catch on a cupholder on the door, and you hold tight, panting and moaning Johnny’s name as he fucks you right into your second orgasm.

Jolts of intensity soon have you crying out even more from the sensitivity, and you grip onto Johnny’s arms, feeling the muscles flexing under your touch, and you moan, “Cum for me. Cum inside me, please.” 

Johnny swears again, and he sinks down over you, sealing his lips over yours as he pushes into you a few more times before he goes still and you feel him flooding the condom with his hot cum. 

You stay like that for a few moments, kissing with him inside you.

Both of you are sweaty, pressed skin-to-skin, and you stroke the back of his neck and enjoy this feeling of being so close after so long. 

But eventually, the chill of the winter night outside begins to leak back in, nipping at your skin, and you shiver and feel Johnny shiver in response.

“We should get going.” He says then, pushing up off of you, and reaching once again into his gym bag. This time he pulls out a shirt and hands it to you. “You can clean up with this. It needs to be washed anyway.” He kneels back and you watch him carefully pull off the condom and tie it off, and part of you wants to press Johnny to the seat again and suck him clean, but another part of you is hungry and a little tired and definitely cold.

You pull your clothes back on with a little difficulty in the confined space. Johnny dresses too, and when you’re both sitting in the front seat again, he grabs your hand and holds it on the center console. 

“Best birthday present ever, by the way.” He puts the car into reverse and backs out of the spot, doing all of this one-handed. “Now, what should we eat before we go meet the guys?”

You squeeze his hand and look ahead at Seoul, all lit up around you, not so different from the home where you’d grown up with Johnny. 

“Anywhere as long as I’m with you.”

Johnny snorts a laugh. “That’s cheesy.”

inspired in part by:  omg i finally had an dream about nct. i was sharing a moonpie cake with johnny and there was one bite left and i was holding it between my index finger and thumb and johnny straight up put it in his mouth and sucked on my thumb and it was so hot. is there are a specific kink for that? because sweetie, i got it.

a/n: I was originally going to have this Johnny coming home to Chicago, but it just made more sense for it to be you visiting him. and I was going to have it be wild sex in the car but it turned all romantic and stuff instead.

[bluedraggy]

Beatrice Santello - Part 2 #11

Image by ottoOttsy

Cemetery and Proposal

The service was a melancholy affair as a warm spring rain fell outside the chapel at the church, but Bea felt like that was appropriate. The casket, of course, was closed, but she greeted both Mr. and Mrs. Hartley. Pastor K. said a brief few words and both Mae and Gregg were blessedly subdued.

Bea said goodbye to her friends after the service as they weren’t feeling like going to the burial, but it had been a while since Bea had spent time with her mother so she turned on her car’s lights and followed the train of cars to the cemetery.  The rain had stopped and the grave site was covered by a tent anyway, so other than getting a little mud on her boots, it was alright. Casey’s parents were reserved as could be expected, considering they were burying their son.

She’d managed to keep her composure until they lowered the casket into the ground, but memories of her mother’s burial came flooding back and she was unable to hold back the tears any longer. All the assurances of the afterlife and that the dead person’s soul lived forever didn’t help. She left shortly after and walked back to her car where she got out the flowers she’d bought earlier, then walked back to where her mother’s headstone stood up stark against the wet ground.

“Hi Mom,” she said quietly to the grave. “I brought you some flowers. Damn, I hope you’re there somewhere. They just buried Casey. I never really told you about him, did I? I don’t know if you, like, know my mind. I hope not. It would be embarrassing. But I think I was in love with him. Well, really I know I was. He was killed by some nut jobs here, but I’d broken up with him before that because he brought drugs and stuff into the Pickaxe. Casey, if you can hear me too… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have been so hard on you.”

She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, trying to shut off the shudders that were coming on - a sure prelude to another round of crying.  It worked.

“Anyway, Mom, Dad’s doing alright I guess. We miss you. I miss you. I’ve got enough for the lease on the building, inventory and taxes this month. Still can’t hire Germ full time, though. Bill’s still there, but I keep him out of the store as much as I can. He hasn’t done anything for a long time though, so I think it’s okay. Sorry I haven’t been back more often.”

A little while later, she stood up again and brushed the mud off her knees. She looked over to where Casey’s grave was. Workmen were taking down the tent and two other men were shoveling more dirt over it, filling it in. Everyone else had left. She took a flower from her mom’s bouquet and walked back to where the shovelers were just finishing up.

There was no headstone, so she just dropped the flower over the mound.

“The headstone will be installed next week,” said a voice she recognized behind her. She didn’t turn around.

“Hi Pastor K. Why are you still here?”

“Oh, I guess I’m like you. I know a lot of people buried here. You cared a lot about Casey, didn’t you?”

It was more a statement than a question. Bea just nodded.

“I know I’m supposed to tell you he’s in a better place and all that, Bea. But even us religious people don’t know for sure of course. I suppose no one alive does. That’s why they call it ‘faith’ I guess.”

“Do you have faith? Do you think he’s still around… somewhere?”

“I have faith. It’s all we have, Bea. Still agnostic I suppose? I don’t suppose I could talk you into coming to service some day?”

“I’d feel like a hypocrite, Pastor K.”

“We’re all hypocrites, Bea. We do the best we can though. I think someday you’ll be a regular - but you have to find your own way home first.”

Bea turned around to face the diminutive pastor, anger flashing in her eyes.

“I can’t believe in your God, Pastor. A decent God wouldn’t allow things like this. And don’t give me that Mysterious Ways crap. The only God that would allow this doesn’t give a shit about us. Surely you know that!”

“We’re alive, Bea. He’s not, but we are.”

“We’re just amoebas. Scum on the surface of the earth.”

“Now you’re just venting. It’s okay, Bea. Venting is good sometimes. Did you love him?”

Bea turned back to the grave, imagining the bones underneath it.

“Yes.”

“Do you think you just loved an amoeba? We’re more than that, Bea. If we weren’t, we wouldn’t hurt so bad.”

“I don’t believe in your religion, Pastor Karen, but I’m coming to understand the need for it at least. I’m glad you’re here. You help people get over things like this.”

“I try to help people cope, Bea, but no one gets over it. Death and religion are inseparable.”

“I saw him, Pastor. Down there in the mine. For just a minute, I thought I saw him. I was probably imagining it though.”

“Could be. Your mother believed, Bea.”

“Didn’t do her much good, did it.”

“I don’t know. She went through a lot, Bea, and not just the illness. She believed, and she loved you and your father an awful lot. I think her faith helped her get through each day.”

“Careful, Pastor K. My mom is a touchy subject with me, okay?”

“Okay Bea. But if you ever need to talk… you know where I am.”

“Don’t hold your breath,” Bea said.

As if on cue, the rain began again. Pastor Karen opened her umbrella and handed it to Bea. She took it gratefully, and held it over both their heads as they walked back to where the cars waited.

************

The police finally released their report, detailing the Black Goat cult and their sacrifices. The story rekindled interest in Possum Springs for another month, but the attention on Bea and her friends who had first found the sacrifices waned as the magnitude of the crime was revealed. But even that horrific revelation soon faded from the public eye since all had apparently died in the cave-in and there would be no trial to focus attention on the murders.

Bea didn’t know any of the members well, and she was glad of that. Angus apparently knew one of them as a former co-worker at the Video Outpost II, but they’d never been friendly.

Spring had begun to turn towards summer when a man walked into the Pickaxe that Bea recognized immediately. This time, however, he wasn’t posing as a customer, nor did he attempt to surreptitiously record her inventory on his phone. Instead he walked up to the counter.

“Hello Bea, do you remember me?”

Germ wasn’t there that day, but Mae was in the warehouse cleaning up after a recent delivery.

“Mister video. Here to finish the job?”

The old gator smiled. “Oh Bea, we finished that ages ago. We know all about your business. Things have really picked up since the mine thing, haven’t they?”

It was true enough. Though the mine was well sealed now, there were plenty of caves in the area too and spelunking in the area had really picked up. She had taken advantage of the renewed interest by stocking a wide variety of climbing and caving hardware and becoming familiar with their use. She cringed now, thinking back to. the amateurish methods they had used back then, and how lucky they’d been not to have hurt themselves.

“We’re doing alright. What do you want Mr. Video?”

“The name is Brown. Hamilton Brown. I work for a competitor of yours, MISS Santello.”

The guy had done his homework.

“I see. And why shouldn’t I kick you out again right now, Mr. Brown?”

He reached into his jacket and brought forth a manila envelope.

“We want to buy you out, Bea.”

Bea looked at the envelope. It was thick with papers.

“Not much of a competitor if you just buy out the competition.”

“Look through those papers tonight before you reject our offer out of hand. We’ve already bought the land out by the Interstate. Groundbreaking will commence soon. As soon as the news hits, this offer will be rescinded.”

Bea’s eyes opened wide. “Home Badger.”

Mr. Brown nodded.  “Bea, we will put you out of business and there’s nothing you can do to stop it. You know it already. But we have a proposal for you. An absurdly lucrative proposal, given your revenue.  But we do our research too. Somehow, even as young as you are, you’ve amassed quite a lot of good will here in Possum Springs. Especially after finding those kids’ bodies. Good will is a valuable and very tangible thing. We’re willing to pay for it.”

“So, what’s your angle, Mr. Brown? You just want to buy the Pickaxe, and shut it down?”

“There are those who had intended something like that. But they’ve been overruled. No, Bea. We want to buy the Pickaxe and keep it open - as an extension of the new mega-store Home Badger. We’ll even keep the name. ‘The Ol’ Pickaxe - Your Neighborhood Store, by Home Badger’. You may not have noticed, but the downtown area here is going through something of a renaissance. We’d like to be a part of that.”

“I already am a part of that,” Bea said, sliding the envelope back. “I’ll take my chances, thanks.”

“Bea,” said Mr. Brown, sliding the envelope back again. “Please, take a look. We’re not your enemy - or at least we don’t have to be. We can be your partner, if you’ll consider it. Bea, it may take a year or two, but eventually your business is going to fade as your customers begin to abandon you. You could keep the doors open, but your profits will dwindle even more. You’re barely making ends meet now, and that’s with… shall we say… questionable employment practices. It will only get worse. Please, consider it. Talk it over with your father.”

Bea’s natural reaction was to fight it. But time had tamed her tendencies to snap judgments.

She looked at the old gator. Underneath his polished exterior, his eyes looked bright. 

“Do you get a bonus if I agree, Mr. Brown?”

“Of course I do. But that doesn’t mean it’s not a good deal. I think you’ll agree when you read the details. You’ll want to hire a lawyer to go over the fine print, but I’m confident there’s nothing in there that you’ll be opposed to.”

“It’s not my store, you know,” Bea said, but she took the envelope and put it on a shelf under the counter.

“No, but it might as well be. Your father isn’t well. You’ve done very good by him, but he’s not getting better. He needs help, Bea. Professional help. And not by your Dr. Hanks. This could provide that help.”

“At the cost of the business he worked all his life to build,” Bea responded, but without much heat. She wasn’t so sure.

“Read the offer, Bea. It’s only the first two pages that covers all the major points.”

“The devil is in the details though.”

“That’s what lawyers are for, but I don’t think you’ll find any devils in here. You know what we want, Bea. We’re willing to pay handsomely for it. What we really want is your goodwill. We don’t want the people in and around Possum Springs to see us as big-city interlopers. We want to be your partner. But yes, we would own the Pickaxe.”

“Get out of my store, Mr. Brown.”

He nodded and produced a card. It had only his name and a phone number printed on it, but the background color was the unmistakable hue of the Home Badger. She took it and slid it in with the other papers in the envelope as he left.

Mae came in from the back.

“Who was that?”

Bea looked up from the envelope. When she’d opened it to insert the card, she’d seen a number on the first page. A very, very large number.

“Huh? Oh. That’s Mr. Brown. Nothing important.”

[funsize-lucifer-hongjoong]

We Are Stars For Each Other

Genre - Fuffy eventual Smut

Female Reader x Hongjoong

Word count - 3,379

                        Chapter 2 : Combat Boots and Leather Skirts

The next morning you wake up earlier than you expected. The warmth spreading through you at the dream you had woken up from. Grey hair and your hands running through it, whispers and moans. Once you fully open your eyes you can’t believe your own mind going there. “Damn brain, we got some good taste in men.” All the while trying to remember the dream that is quickly being lost to the morning light.

Getting out of bed has always been a chore to you. You’d rather just stay there and live your best life. Anxiety had made your life Hell for years, and you knew the bedroom was your safe space. You do eventually get up, begrudgingly so. Groaning as your knees pop on standing and stretching.

Your normal morning routine consists of coffee, breakfast of some description, a shower, and pajamas on your days off. What a lovely day off it is too. Min Seo had a meeting with someone and you had the entire apartment to yourself. You grabbed up your laptop, plopping down on the couch.

“Let’s see who these boys are, shall we?” Your fingers begin to run across the keys. You’re searching every site typing in ATEEZ and every other keyword you could think of until you come across a Kpop Wiki page for them. “Hmm, Kim Hongjoong, 21 years old, Rapper, leader, and main composer.” You start to scroll down, but stop yourself, and quickly scroll back up to read it again. “Wait, What the hell?! He’s a composer?! Like he writes his own music? Wow. Big things in small packages, I guess.” You shrug and continue reading. Eventually making your way to Jung Wooyoung, “Oh, he’s beautiful. He looks like the devil and an Angel all at once, if that’s even possible.” Your absent mind can barely scroll past his picture to get to his bio below. “Jung Wooyoung, 19 years old, Lead dancer, vocalist, and visual.” You continue scrolling a bit farther, “What the hell is a visual? I mean he’s gorgeous if that’s what it stands for. I need to learn more about this K-pop stuff.”

That’s how your day remains, on the couch in your pajamas reading everything you can about K-pop and this group called Ateez. You listen to all their songs, and pick your favorites, numerous dance videos and performances live and otherwise. Soon enough, you stumble upon the glorious fancam, and you make it through all of Wooyoung’s that you can find until you hear the door beep, as Min Seo unlocks it. “Oh no, I can’t let her know, she’ll never let me live it down after trashing K-pop for so long.” You slam your laptop closed, throwing it on the table in front of the couch, trying to look as inconspicuous as possible.

“Hey Y/N, how was your day?” Min Seo yells from the entryway.

“Ugh, boring and uneventful as usual. Would you expect anything different?” You reply as she walks into the living room to sit down at the other end of the couch.

“Honestly? No probably not. You’re a boring person.” You roll your eyes at her, “Jeeze, Thanks Minie. I really appreciate the vote of confidence.”

“You’re welcome!”, She chirps as she flicks on the Tv and changes it to some variety show she watches regularly.

The evening is spent with your best friend. You order in for dinner and while watching a movie together, she pipes up out of nowhere, “Hey, um, I know you weren’t crazy about the fan sign event, but Ateez has a concert next weekend. There’s going to be another Hi-touch and I really want to see San again. I think I’m getting somewhere with him!”

You lay your head back against the couch, trying to pretend you didn’t really want to go, even if you did. “When is it Minie?” You say with a sigh.

“It’s Friday night. You could do the Hi-touch yourself this time. Meet them, and maybe if you talk to them you’ll like them more. I’ll pay for everything, all you have to do is show up.”

You look over at Min Seo, “You’ll pay for everything, even dinner where I want to eat after?” She turns her full body towards you on the couch excitement flashing on her face. “Even dinner wherever you want, and drinks too. I promise.”

You side eye her with your head on the back of the couch, “Alright Minie, I’ll go, but don’t expect me to fall head over heels in love with any of them. I’m just doing this because you bribed me with free food and alcohol.” Though deep down you know, that’s all a lie.

As the days pass, you get more nervous. Anxiety flaring in your stomach, making your head swim. “I’m going to be touching them, should I get my nails done? Shit, I can’t have my nails done, I have to work and they don’t allow it.” Your brain runs through these thoughts constantly. What will you wear? How will you wear your hair? Will you wear any makeup? You know you want to make a good impression on Wooyoung. “He probably has a girlfriend anyway, and why would an Idol want someone like me.” Your confidence took a nose dive from its already low point.

In your turmoil, you hear a knock on your bedroom door. “Come in, it’s open.” Min Seo opens the door, and walks in, sitting at the edge of your bed beside you, seeing the outfits thrown haphazardly around the room. “Are you trying to find something to wear for Friday?” She asks you gently. “Yeah, but I don’t have anything but pajamas and work clothes Minie. I wore the only casual type outfit I had last time. I can’t wear it again.” you put your head down, the facade of you trying to act like you didn’t want to go, was crumbling away fast.

Min Seo’s face lights up, “I’ve got so many different outfits you could try on! I’m sure I’ve got something for you to wear.” With that being said she jumps up and runs out your door, down the hall, and into her room. You stand and follow her, not knowing if you’ve made a mistake or not.

Hours pass, and you’ve tried on all of her tops and a few pairs of jeans. “No Skirts, Minie! I don’t wear them unless I’m working.”

“Come on, Y/N. Just this one. it doesn’t look anything like the skirts you wear to work. It’ll be so cute on you!” She pushes what looks like a leather jacket into your hands, “Try it on!” You roll your eyes and look up, saying in a hushed voice “God, please help me not to strangle this poor girl and get sent back home. Amen.” Without too much more fuss, you pull on a leather mini skirt, it has belts crossing the front with tiny skulls on, and a red plaid patch on the hip. “Hey, this isn’t bad, Min Seo. My ass looks like a dream.” You say, looking at yourself in the mirror on her closet door.

She puts her hands on her hips, “Y/N! Language!” You smile at her, “Yeah well Minie, when your ex used to stay over I heard much worse than the word ass. These walls are paper thin, dear.” You wink at her, and her face turns a shade of red you’ve never seen before. You start to laugh, then you double over, tears leaking from your eyes. “Calm down, Min Seo. It was just a joke, but seriously did he really make you call him Daddy?” You ask with a quizzical look on your face.

Playfully slapping at you as her embarrassment flares, “Oh go on! Take it and get out! You’re making me remember the trash can I once dated, and yes, I called him daddy.” She says as she pushes you out the door, still in the skirt. You fall over into the floor howling with laughter as she slams her door in mock anger. Slowly getting up to walk into your room and change back into your trademark sweatpants, still wiping tears away from the occasional laughing fit that overtakes you.

Friday is upon you before you know it. You rush out of work early and even spend the extra money to get a cab home. “I’ve got 2 hours to get ready, and an hour to be there, that’s not nearly enough time.” There’s that anxiety rearing it’s ugly head again.

When you walk in the apartment, you don’t have time to worry. Min Seo is already home and practically shoving you into the shower. “Hurry Y/N, we need to get you fed and dressed before we leave!” You jump in the shower, washing as fast as you possibly can, and brushing your teeth while you’re in there. You turn off the water and wrap a towel around yourself. No sooner do you step out and dry off is Min Seo shoving you again, this time into her room. Your outfit laid out neatly on her bed.

“Y/N, do you have any cute panties?” She asks while pulling out her makeup and laying it across the bed.

“Excuse you Minie. Do I have any what?!” You raise your eyebrows in surprise at her asking such a forward question, she always seemed so shy.

“I asked if you had any cute panties. This skirt is short, and if the unexpected happens then at least you can be happy knowing you showed them your best.” You cock up your eyebrow before thinking about it. “Yeah, actually I do have a red lace pair of high cut boy shorts, but those are for special occasions, not to mention the price I paid for them. ”

“Y/N, it’s been a year. You haven’t been laid ONCE. Not one time. I’ve introduced you to a hundred different guys, and none of them made you go as far as you’re going right now.” She looks down, putting different shades of eyeshadow on her hand. She brings her hand up next to your face. “Ah, well since you’re wearing red panties, let’s go with it.” She says smiling brightly, and all you can do is groan at the whirlwind of makeup brushes and curling irons.

It takes just at 2 hours for you to get ready, and when Min Seo is done you stare at yourself in the mirror. A red high collared shirt with sheer sleeves, the leather mini skirt, your favorite red panty set, fishnet hose, and Min Seo’s combat boots. You barely recognize yourself. Your lips are stained red like you’ve eaten a popsicle. Your eyes are dark, glitter across them, and your skin looks amazing. Your hair lays across your shoulders in curls. All the while thinking to yourself, “This is how Minie pulls it off, eh? Hours of work, but the results are pretty good”

Min Seo, throws her handbag over her arm, looking back at you. “Hey Y/N? Why are you going all out like this, if you don’t really like it anyway?” Oh no, you’re caught out, best just to tell the truth and let her have her fun. “Well Minie, I can’t lie to you. I’ve been kind of obsessed with these guys since you took me last time.” She squeals with delight, grabbing your hands, she asks you, “Who’s your bias?! Is it Hongjoong?! It better not be San, you know I called him first.” You start to laugh, but stop yourself, “No it isn’t San or Hongjoong. It’s Wooyoung.”

“Ooooh Y/N likes the bad boys does she?” She gives you a sly smile as she shuts the door behind you both. You grab your phone and call a cab. Your nerves flare again, this is it, your chance to make an impression on Wooyoung. Let’s just hope this works.

As you’re getting out of the cab, you see why Min Seo told you to wear cute panties. You can feel a slight breeze, and you know you were keeping your legs together as politely as possible. Walking up to the venue, your heart starts to race, seeing those same posters but now they mean something entirely different. You look at Wooyoung’s face, and down at yourself. “I hope this works.” You think as you close your eyes, trying to calm your heart. Min Seo is pulling at your arm, “Come on we have to hurry, the line will be so long if we take our time.” You start to move faster, as fast as possible in a mini skirt and boots.

Before you know it, you’re in the line. Wringing your hands, and breathing heavily. You see them, all sitting at their table. Not having had a chance to learn all their names yet, the only ones you can spot are San, Wooyoung, and HongJoong. They’re all at the far end. You breath deeply as Min Seo sits in front of the first boy, she says a few words, he smiles at her, and she moves on. Clearly making a beeline for San. You sit in front of him next, he seems nice enough as do the others, but he isn’t who you’re waiting for. When you sit in front of San, Min Seo is with Wooyoung, and you feel a pang of jealousy.

“Hello beautiful, your friend told me you’re new to this” San says in a low voice, patting your hand gently. “Uh…Um, Yeah, I uh, don’t know much about pop music at all” You reply back, squeaking a bit. Then you overhear Min Seo next to you, “My best friend, Y/N says you’re her bias Wooyoung. Be nice to her won’t you?” You could kill her right now and send her to Jesus. Tapping her leg frantically “Minie, shut it will you?!” She just smiles and moves down to HongJoong, at the same time you’re moving down a chair, to sit in front of one of the most beautiful guys you’ve ever seen.

You sit in front of him, and you take a few seconds to soak it all in. His eyes are soft, and with his contacts in, they look like the morning sky. His nose is slightly sloped, and his jaw looks as though it were cut from granite. You can’t help thinking to yourself, “He can’t possibly be real.” This is your chance to make some kind of impression on him. “Hi Wooyoung, I’m Y/N.” He lifts his eyes and smiles widely, “Aw Y/N it’s nice to meet you. I’m glad Min Seo brought you here, she told me I’m your bias.” He smirks, and your cheeks flush a rosy shade. “You are, I think you’re an incredible dancer, and singer. You’re amazing.” He barely looks up, seemingly uninterested, your face falls a bit. Your confidence goes with it. His reply is quick and sounds almost robotic, “Thanks sweetheart, enjoy the show.” You smile at him and bow slightly, but your heart feels like it’s been smashed now.

You stand and move to sit with Hongjoong, Min Seo was waiting for you at the end of the line. He notices your outfit, and unlike Wooyoung he’s very impressed. Almost a bit bashful, which is new for him. He immediately remembers you and grabs your hand playing with your fingers. “Hello gorgeous, what’s your name?” You register him speaking to you, and look up almost in a daze, “Oh, uhm, it’s Y/N. You’re Hongjoong?” He smiles and you notice right away his teeth are nearly perfect, and so are his lips.

“You look like you’re actually enjoying yourself this time, unlike the last time I saw you.” He dips his head as he says this, catching your eyes again. You blush, this time it spreads down your neck, and you can only hope he doesn’t notice. “Yeah, I wasn’t into this stuff, until I saw you guys. It changed the way I view pop music.” You try to avoid his gaze, he had contacts in and they were a shade of lavender and grey. They matched him well, you thought.

“You’re blushing for me, it’s adorable, can I call you Pink cheeks from now on?” You think he’s joking, but upon looking at him you can tell he’s quite serious. Without putting too much thought into it you reply, “Sure, why not? Can I call you shorty?” He balks at that and Wooyoung laughs beside him. Hongjoong leans in closer, just before you’re supposed to get up and whispers softly “Sure you can, but only if you promise to pay attention to me tonight while we’re performing.” He pulls your hand up and kisses the back of your knuckles softly. “I’ll think about it” You reply nonchalantly and stand, feeling a breeze again, you know someone got a look and you can only hope it was Wooyoung.

It wasn’t Wooyoung that seen the flash of red when you stood to walk away, it was Hongjoong. You were nearly his undoing just then, he had to lean back a bit to breath. “That woman must be the devil in combat boots.” He laughed to himself, as the next girl in line sat down. He felt kind of empty after you left though. Your hands were so soft. He wondered how those hands would feel running down his back, or up into his hair. How that blush would look spread across your body, and if it went lower than your neck. He shook it off and told himself, “Get it together Hongjoong, be a professional, you’re the leader.”

Min Seo pulled you over to the side, “This is gonna be over soon, let’s get close to the front like last time. I wanna see San in all his glory.”

“Or you just wanna see San hip thrust his tightly clothed dick in your face, but maybe I’m wrong.” You retort. Wooyoung’s indifference to you, with all the effort you put into yourself, did hurt. You kept glancing over to see if maybe he’d try to steal a quick peek, but you only found one set of eyes on you, and those belonged to Hongjoong.

After the formalities were finished, the boys all grouped up and Min Seo dragged you back to the front again. “Great, just great. I promised Hongjoon I’d pay attention to him, but Wooyoung looks so good today. UGH!” You inwardly chastise yourself.

Then a new song comes on, one you haven’t heard before. The boys are surrounding Hongjoong, and then the music picks up, and He pops out from the middle, rapping his verse while looking you dead in the eyes. “Unlike the daytime, the night is dark. It gets colder when the sun goes down, but we already know. Why are you worried? We are stars for each other.” You try to keep your eyes on him, but Wooyoung just looks so handsome. You can’t help but look at him as his body moves fluidly across the stage. Hongjoong picks up on it, looking over at the younger boy. It hurts him, but he notices your face drops a bit when Wooyoung doesn’t acknowledge you. He’ll take care of that.

The next and final song is Pirate King, and when it comes on, it the same thing as last time. Hongjoong desperately trying to get your attention, but you were having none of it. When they split the group He walks up and tells Wooyoung something, he looks back at you and to his hyung with a wicked smirk on his face. “What are those two up to?” you ponder. Before you know it, your favorite part is nearing. Wooyoung steps out in front and says “Will you be my friend?” With a tilt of his head, and the cute tiny wave but this time he’s looking at you.

“Am I dying?! Is this Heaven?!” Your brain is burning to bits under Wooyoung’s intense stare, even if it doesn’t last but a few seconds. Your smile, and blush returns. Hongjoong notices and his heart feels like it’s flying. He just wants to see you smile even if it’s not at him.

[kctakcla]

           ( genderfluid ) haven’t seen DAKOTA SAMPSON around in a while. the ALEX TURNER lookalike has been known to be (+) INDEPENDENT & (+) PROTECTIVE, but HE/THEY can also be (-) HOT-TEMPERED & (-) TURBULENT. The 24 year old is a SENIOR majoring in THEATRE. I believe they’re living OFF CAMPUS ( at home ) but I popped by earlier and no one answered the door.

                         yes I AM an Arctic Monkeys fan , what gave you that idea !! ‘sup guys I’m Hylia and we don’t know self-control so I’m already back at it again with hitting my muse limit and applying for Dakota here. A note : Dakota’s an old muse but the only thing I’ve changed about him is his name ( along with modifying stuff to fit the connection I took and Watershed biz ) , so if you ever hear me call him Spencer , sorry for the slip-up - that’s just what his name was beforehand. But ANYWAYS , more under the cut !!

                  v brief mention of homophobia + transphobia and also... frequent mentions of religion.

STARTING OUT

k so I also highly rec you read Jackie’s intro bc Katie made this family and I’m just hopping in on the sibling ride  

so yeah their parents were fuckin,,, picture-perfect religious fam on the outside but that’s not good 4 the fuckin’ kids and from the start Kota was always the problem child. Never sat still in church, always tended to gravitate towards the “dark/satanic” stuff and over time he was so used to being accused of that shit he sort of... embraced it ??

Lemme explain.

so Dakota was often punished for even batting an eye at stuff his parents didn’t like so he grew angry he wasn’t allowed to like certain shit and that just upped him liking it and taking part in that stuff tenfold.

It started innocently when he was young - he’d take his allowance, march on over to the closest store that sold CDs and bought every heavy rock album he could find. Linkin Park, Metallica, Rise Against, Sixx AM,  that shit.

Then it escalated to taking an interest in SFX makeup, especially the gory part. Snuck out on Halloween to trick-or-treat and collect candy in the best costume he could make for himself.

Watched horror movies and played darker video games when he’d sneak out and would often take an interest in the decoration , the acting...

Then he started saving up and buying black clothes, ripped jeans, faux leather jackets, and even getting his ears and lip pierced. Threw temper tantrums when his parents told him to cut his hair. Got a tattoo of his sister’s name on his wrist with forged parental approval.

Started dating kids who had a reputation on being on the wrong side of the tracks !! Also came out as bi & genderfluid and lived in an extremely religious household so . . . ( tw : homophobia & transphobia ) they didn’t react well. But he flaunted it. He rubbed it in their fucking faces every chance he got since that was who he fucking was , and if you don’t like it ?? SHOVE IT. 

But yeah. He always had a strained relationship with his parents for that reason. He was known as the black sheep of the family , the problem child. It was AMAZING he was so close with his younger sister , Jackie.

His sister was his everything. Perhaps the only person Dakota was certain cared about him and for that , swore to protect her. Especially against their parents and what Dakota considered their BACKWARDS methods of parenting.

So , he sorta took to parenting her himself - teaching her life skills and survival skills and how to deal with their parents.

TATIANA

okay - Tatiana’s relationship with Kota is kind of important so I wanna get this out of the way before I dive too deep into his character + personality

when they were younger, everyone thought he and Tatiana would get together. Everyone did. Whenever the Sampson and Samuels families would get together, he and Tatiana would immediately gravitate towards each other. They often spared each other glances in church, and he claims Tatiana fell in love with his “rebel” persona.

He even took her to senior prom.

But they never officially dated - they’d hang out regularly , yes , but they never considering themselves more than just friends . . . and then some. He often snuck into Tatiana’s bedroom by climbing through her window , often 

Besides , he was the bad boy who renounced God in his family and Tatiana was the preacher’s daughter. How could they ??

Well . . . they still slept together. Quite often , actually. He often routinely visited her for such in her dorm at Lockwood , and it didn’t matter if she had a boyfriend or not. If she asked him to spend the night with her , he would.

He wrote Tatiana love letters he doesn’t know if she even opened. But it was very obvious Dakota harbored some feelings for her that went beyond friends with benefits. Tatiana may have felt the same - who knows ?? 

She led him on and played him like a fiddle. Maybe he knows about it , but refuses to accept it. He thinks she was genuinely in love with him , or he tells himself that to feel better and not so embarrassed.

Needless to say , he was struck with grief when she died. He wanted to be more than an ex-almost , but unfortunately , that was only how far they got. 

PERSONALITY / CHARACTER

Dakota’s your stereotypical rebel without a cause - he’s loud , he’s unfiltered , and he doesn’t give a FUCK about your opinion so again , SHOVE IT.

But he’s not a bad dude at all - he’s actually pretty open-minded and a little wild , but fun to hang out with. He’ll be honest with you about his opinion on you - and he is NEVER one to shy away from his emotions or hide how he feels.

Believe it or not , the only vices he has are drinking every now and then ( normally nothing more than beer ) and smoking. Hasn’t touched drugs once in his life , not even weed.

He’s very outspoken and will fucking !! Tell you !! What he thinks !! Even - no , ESPECIALLY if you don’t want to hear it.

Half the time he says shit to piss people off and get a reaction. I’m sorry this is just how he is.

DEFINITELY someone into the horrific / creepy shit. He keeps the ID Channel on as background noise and can watch most horror movies and play horror video games without flinching.

Kinda sleeps around a lot and he knows not to attach sex to romance but also . . . it’s like. Horribly easy to lead him on. He can get attached to people and it’s so easy to tell when he’s got a crush so it’s sort of easy to manipulate him like that.

He’s VERY into acting !! He’s a showman , he likes attention. And portraying someone that isn’t him is one of the most fun things to do. And he’s wicked great at it - there’s something about having a hundred eyes on him that gives him confidence and validation where some may clam up.

... Also an attention whore but not a conceited jerk kind of attention whore.

Also into music , but it’s just a background thing. He knows how to play GUITAR and also the DRUMS , and can sing really well. 

He’s short-fused as hell. It’s so easy to get him fired up as long as you say the right words , and it’s really easy to pick out what those words are. Mention or say anything negative about Tatiana or his sister and he’s on your ass.

Again , love makeup and does a lot of SFX makeup in his free time !! So yeah it’s a lot of creepy / gory shit and definitely not something his parents would approve of.

On the subject of his parents , he still lives with them but only to take care of Jackie. And whenever he’s with them , he does whatever he can to piss them off or to make them disapprove of him even MORE. So far , he’s been sliding inklings he worships the Devil and makes jokes about eloping or marrying people with careers the toxic religious people frown upon. 

Yeah he really. Doesn’t like his parents. And he doesn’t want his parents to like him.

Jackie’s the best tho.

Also call him Kota or Kody or Koakoa Puffs or any puns with his name I’ll take it

WANTED PLOTS / CONNECTIONS 

friends he has that know he was rly into Tatiana but were also aware of how she led him on 

they either fuel his false hopes

or try to knock some sense into him by telling him the truth ( never listens tho )

PEOPLE ,,, who really disapprove of how he is for whatever reason. Could be someone who was close with the Samuels’ and know Tatiana was involved with him but they can’t stand the idea of her fucking someone like him.

Soft people he goes protective papa bear over !! Bc he would !! He totally fuckin would !!

People he regularly butts head with and just wants to get a fucking reaction out of bc again , that’s the name of the game

Theatre buddies !! Theatre buddies who he gets REALLY into it with 

Or even theatre rivals , who don’t like his personality / need for attention

Fuckbuddies bc again Dakota sleeps around and sees no shame in it

Also ppl maybe who are attracted to him oNLY bc of the bad boy aesthetic / thing he’s got going on ??

Okay it’s late and I’m drawing more blanks but as always LIKE THIS FOR A PLOTTING IM !!

[fatrainbowmermaidunicorn]

Dear Jungkook (Jungkook x You) // Chapter 2

MASTERLIST

Summary : (I suck in doing summary, so yeah)

Jungkook, Y/N and Jae Eun are the best of friends. While Y/N is in love with Jungkook ever since she can remember, Jungkook founds himself falling in love with her cousin, Jae Eun when Y/N introduces them a year later.When both Y/N and Jae Eun move to the States, Jungkook tried to keep in contact by emailing Jae Eun. As the emails grew constant, Jungkook is sure he’s falling more in love with the Jae Eun that he got to know through their emails.Little did he know that all these while, Y/N is the one who has been emailing him back.

Y/N and Jae Eun has been living in the States for almost seven years now. Jae Eun has successfully become the queen bee that she always wanted, with her own little clique who worships her. Y/N has grown into her looks and self confident, turning her into a beautiful young lady, no longer akward and reserved,  who is easily loved by everyone she meets. She's kind, friendly and intelligent. The two cousins might seem like a polar opposite but despite what people might think, they are the best of friends.

"Yah, Y/N, is this really Jungkook?" Jae Eun stormed into Y/N's room one day during one her lazy days spend in bed, shoving her iphone right in Y/N's face. Y/N squint her eyes and saw an article about Bangtan, the current hit idol group in K-pop, attached with a picture of Jungkook and the rest of his members right in the center of it. Y/N knows everything there is to know about this particular group. Jungkook had mention on more than several occssions about his group and his members antics in their still on going emails and online chats.

"Ye...yes," Y/N looked up to see Jae Eun smiling with glee. She can sense something bad is going to happen. Its been seven years since Jungkook's name even crossed Jae Eun's mind, why is she asking about him this time?

"You are still keeping in touch with him right? Still emailing him?" Y/N nodded and earn a chuckle from Jae Min as she plopped down beside her on the bed.

"I cant believe it has been seven years and you are still emailing him! How do you even find time for that?" Jae Min questioned and scoot in closer beside Y/N. "How come you didnt tell me that he has become this hot shot celebrity? And look at him, he is really  hot " Jae Eun tapped her fingers on Jungkook's smirking face on her phone. Y/N just keep her mouth shut, not knowing what to say. She looked at the photo, yes Jungkook is handsome. Very much so, but that is nothing compared to his mind and the way he thinks that Y/N adore so much. She look over at Jae Eun who is gawking at the photo, mentioning something about how cute the rest of the other members are too. Y/N didnt think Jae Eun even remember who Jungkook is anymore. "Anyway, since we are going back home soon, I might as well continue to email him, dont you think? It will be weird when we meet him again and I look lost," Jae Eun ponders, more to herself than directing the question to Y/N. "He still has the hots for me right?" Y/N nodded her head when Jae Eun looks straight to her face. Its true, despite being in an internationally famed idol grouo, Jungkook still seem to be very much in love with Jae Eun. At least it seems like it in the way he write the emails to Y/N. Sometimes it breaks Y/N's heart knowing that all his sweet words are meant for Jae Eun, and not for her, although she is the one who has been telling him things and sharing her own experiences all this while.  "You can stop helping me now. Thanks for your help though," Jae Min who was busy scrolling through her phone didnt even notice the change in Y/N's face. Y/N just sigh, knowing there's nothing she can do. After all, Jungkook thought he is emailing Jae Eun and he is in love with Jae Eun.

Y/N's father had mentioned that they will going back home in about a week's time for the summer. They will be spending the whole season back at home and later, both Y/N and Jae Eun can freely decide if they want to come back to the States continue to theur studies or just permanently stay home. Since the business deal that he had come there for went through, there will be a lot of back and forth trip to the States so he figured its fine if Jae Eun or Y/N decided to stay there instead of their hometown. Y/N's father is never one to forced anything onto his children and always gives them options to choose from. Y/N is both nervous and excited to come back to her beloved hometown to the point she cant get a goodnight sleep for about a week before they did. The place where she spend all her childhood and created amazing memories. The place where her mother is born and buried. Where her parents fell in love. The place where she herself fell in love.

Apparently, seven years did nothing to change her heart. Boys come and go during her years in the States, trying to win her heart, she even go out with a few of them, trying her best to move on but nothing ever worked out. No one ever succeed in taking Jungkook's place. Maybe keeping constant communication with someone you want to get over is not a good idea.

It's true that she is still emailing him even after seven years. Jungkook was so excited when she first responded, and since Jae Eun didnt show any interest to actually even open her email up to this very day, Y/N just kept on replying. And soon the lies has gotten too deep and to big for her to stop. Their friendship had gotten so real, its not possible for her to just cut him off anymore. As time goes by, her conversations with Jungkook turns more honest, and she become more of herself and less pretending to be Jae Eun. They even do more than just emailing,  chatting on the messenger when they both have the free time.

Her emails with Jungkook are the highlights of her day. Jungkook, thinking that its Jae Eun who he's having all this meaningful conversation with, shares everything. His struggles as a trainee, his first performance, concert, tour, his favorite band, his daily activities, everything. Jungkook has constantly asked for a video call, or maybe a photo, wanting to put a face to the person he's been talking to. Y/N, trying her best to dodge the truth, always send him a photo of both herself and Jae Eun together and decline every video call that he made, saying that she's too shy. She make a silent pact to herself that one day she will reveal herself to Jungkook. Y/N guess she will never get the chance to tell him who she really is now since Jae Eun already told her that she will be emailing him herself until they get home. Y/N sat in front of her laptop, take a deep breath and open her chat to see if Jungkook is online. Fortunately, he is. She poised her fingers on the keyboard, taking a deep  breath before she starts her chat with Jungkook, for one last time.

Y/N: Dear Jungkook,

JK: Hahaha. Why do you always start off your emails and chat that way? But its cute. I like it

Y/N: Hahaha. Fine. Hey!

JK: Heyyy! Why are you on9? Isnt it late out there?

Y/N: yeah... Y/N: cant sleep. Y/N: and since ur on9, i want to tell u sumting

JK: wat is it?

Y/N: tq for still keeping in touch with me all these years. Ur emails and stories always made my day Y/N: I enjoy everything that we talked about. And I enjoy getting to know more about you Y/N: I'm glad our friendship didnt wilt just bcs we are far away from each other

JK: .... JK: I had fun talking to you too Jae Eun. JK: U know u r the highlight of my day. No matter how busy I am, I always look 4ward 2 ur reply JK: but... JK: why does it sounds like u r saying goodbye?

Y/N: :) Y/N: i gtg now. Need some zzzz Y/N: gdnite jungkook

Y/N slammed her MacBook shut without waiting for Jungkook's reply. She can already feel tears forming in her eyes but remind herself that there's no point in crying. She's not losing anything. Jungkook was never hers to begin with. This is just a favor for Jae Eun. Seven years might be a long time. One would think its long enough for maybe even Jungkook to fall in love with her, but during all those seven years, Jungkook's heart had always been Jae Eun's. She already know this very fact seven years ago when she started this whole mess, and now that her heart has fallen more deeply in love with Jungkook, she knows there is no one to blame but herself.

/////

After hours of flying, Y/N and Jae Eun finally landed back home. Jae Eun puts on her expensive sunglasses and let the assistants wheeled her numerous amounts of Louis Vuitton luggage while linking her arms with Y/N. Y/N just laugh at her cousin's antics and use her free hand to wheel her own single luggage. She only brought over the neccesities. Who needs a thousand pairs of heels? After all, this is home. She still has some things left in her old room, and knowing Jae Eun, she will probably dragged her for another shopping trip. Yet still, Jae Eun insisted to bring all the latest designer items that she owns, just in case she might need it.

"I'm a model, remember? I have to look good!" she reminded Y/N of the fact. The truth is, Jae Eun has only been doing some small scale modelling in the States and that is all there is, but to her, its a stepping stone to be the next Gigi Hadid. Y/N just chuckle at her bold statement. "And also, the future girlfriend of idol superstar Jeon Jungkook!"  Y/N's heart sank when Jae Eun mentioned his name. She had been restless during the whole flight. Will Jungkook be happy to see her? Does Jungkook think that she purposely stop keeping in touch with him? Will her heart be okay to see the boy she loves after seven whole years? Worse, can she take it when Jungkook dont even know he's been talking to her all this while?

It is a fact that Jungkook still very much likes Jae Eun. At least according to his emails, he still does. "I read some of the emails you guys exchanged. You know, to fill me in. But I skipped all the boring part! And boy, there were  a lot!" she laughs. "But it sure seems like he's still into me," Jae Eun turn to look at Y/N when she didnt answer. "Right Y/N?" Jae Eun knows she had asked this same question before but she needs to really make sure.

"Y..yeah. He does,"

"Oh well. I cant believe he actually think its really me who's replying all those boring emails,"

"Do you...do you even really like him Jae Eun?" Y/N finally finds the courage to ask. Sometimes its ridiculous how oblivious Jae Eun is to the rest of the world. She cant even see how much her own cousin, her best friend is in love with the boy she's planning to turn into her boyfriend

"Well, now that he's a famous celebrity, I sure do!" she said, not even a trace of guilt or shame in her voice. "Oh look we are here!"

///////

Jungkook is puzzled by his last chat with Jae Eun. She sounded cold and she really sounded like she's saying goodbye. He waited a couple of days to see if she will be online again, but she didnt, so he decided to write another email.

Hey Jae Eun,

What happened during our last chat? Why do I feel like you are saying goodbye? Did anything happen? And why aren't you online for the last few days?

Jungkook

Miraculously, Jungkook didnt have to wait long as he received a reply the next morning.

Hey Kookie!

Nothing happen! Oh I have great news. I'm going to come back home in a few days time!

And my uncle is throwing a homecoming party for us, and of course, you are invited! Make sure to wear something nice you hottie. I wsnt to show off my handsome boyfriend to everyone *wink*

Love, Jae Eun

Jungkook is weirded out by the email. Kookie? Love? Wear something hot? Hottie?? Since when does Jae Eun ever say these kind of things. Plus, her emails always starts with Dear Jungkook, no matter how many times he tease her about it. And her boyfriend? Yes, Jungkook did hinted various of times that he wants ti be more than friends and all these while Jae Eun always dodge the question or laugh it off.  He doesnt mind really, he finds it cute and if Jae Eun is finally willing to call him her boyfriend, he is more than happy to be one. So he just shrugged it off, thinking maybe Jae Eun is just excited to come back home and start thinking about the party where he can see the love of his life again.

He made a promised to himself to finally make Jae Eun his the next time he see her again.

When he first met Jae Eun, he admitted that he's attracted to her by her beauty. He knows that Jae Eun never did give him the time of the day but his competitiveness makes him want to fight for Jae Eun's attention.  He spend less time with Y/N in order to achieve his mission, a fact that he knows but he always convinced himself that he will find the time for her later. But that time never comes and the next thing he knows, both Y/N and Jae Eun are leaving for the States. To ensure that he wont regret his decision of neglecting his best friend in order to pursue Jae Eun, he tried to keep contact by emailing her. It suprise him that she actually replied and as he slowly gets to know her better through their constant chats and emails, he finds himself falling more and more in love with the girl behind the screen. He is sure its for real this time, and not because of her beauty like he did years ago. Her thoughts on life, the way she thinks, every story that she tells him, it just makes him find her more interesting.

So he told himself that the next time he saw her, he will make sure she will belong to him. Jungkook did think about Y/N some times. He even told Jae Eun through his emails to ask Y/N to chat him up, he even emailed her once, but she never did respond. Jungkook grew angry at Y/N for disposing their friendship just like that and decide to just move on from her. If Y/N can easily forget about him, then he can definitely do the same to her.

/////

As expected of the Jang Empire, the homecoming party is luxurious. Live band, free flow of champagne, guest dressed in their perfect outfits. Jungkook even saw some other idols and celebrities at the party. Jungkook feels glad that he brought Taehyung and Jimin with him, or else he would have been akward standing alone surrounded by all these guests that he finds to be very intimidating. He akwardly stand around the party, trying to find the face that he had longed to see. Jimin and Taehyung are already off on the dancefloor, doing silly dances with some girl they just met. Jungkook just waved them off when the two boys asked him to joined them on the dancefloor, too nervous and eyes too busy searching for Jae Eun. He can feel girls are checking hin out, especially with his two handsome hyungs by his side, but no one else matter other than Jae Eun. Seven years he had stayed loyal to the same girl, and he can finally see her, smell her, touch her, tonight.

About 30 minutes into the party, Jungkook finally spotted Jae Eun walking down the main stairs into the party. She looks absolutely gorgeous in her red dress and perfect hair. Jungkook felt his breath has been taken away and a large smile crept up his face. A sense of pride start to consume him at the thought that the beautiful girl everyone is looking at belongs to him.

"Woah, who's that?" Jungkook look to his hyung who is staring at the same spot he was looking earlier. Irritation crept into him as he assumed they are talking about Jae Eun. His Jae Eun.

"God, look at her. I've never seen anyone looked so good in such a simple dress before," Taehyung still have his mouth opened. Simple dress?  Jae Eun's dress is anything but simple with its deep red hue, slits on both sides and covered almost entirely in Swavorski diamonds. Then who are they talking about? Jungkook whipped his head up to where his hyung is looking at and is greeted with the sight of a girl behind Jae Eun. The girl is wearing a plain nude knee length coloured dress with the lightest makeup and her long black hair is styled in a messy updo. His hyungs were right, she is gorgeous. The moment she smile to someone in the crowd, Jungkook's heart starts to race crazily and a sense of familiarity hit him. Its the same smile that used to give him butterflies when he was eight, when she shoved him her extra pair of Converse and telling him not to cry anymore. The same smile that he didnt realize he had miss before tonight.

"Y...Y/N?"

[dustedmagazine]

Dust Volume 4, Number 9

The Long Hots

We enter the pumpkin latte season with a full slate of short reviews, covering both anticipated and overlooked releases from rock, pop, jazz, punk and unclassifiable genres. Contributors this time included Bill Meyer, Ethan Covey, Jennifer Kelly, Isaac Olson, Jonathan Shaw and Justin Cober-Lake.  

Baked – II (Exploding in Sound)

II by Baked

Baked, out of Brooklyn, belches a lava flow of viscous guitar sound over sweetly unassuming pop melodies. If J. Mascis ever wrote a song to impress the women of Look Blue Go Purple, if Beat Happening experimented with a whacked out set of fuzz pedals, it might sound a bit like this – in short, it’s fetching DIY pop with serious muscles under the anorak. When soft, vulnerable tune meets the bristling heft of feedback, there’s a palpable fizz, never more so than on “Hope You’re Happy,” sung by Isabella Mingione. “The Hartlett Anthem” does the same trick with Jeremy Aquilino singing tender hooks over the droning surf of dissonance like a sleepier Teenage Fanclub. This particular recording is Baked’s third, after 2014’s Debt and 2017’s Farnham but earns the “II” by being the second in Exploding in Sound’s Tape Club series. That’s undoubtedly why it’s so short, but brevity is tantalizing. These five songs leave you wanting more.

Jennifer Kelly

 Big Blood — Operate Spaceship Earth Properly (Feeding Tube Records)

Massachusetts-based Feeding Tube Records favors such a frantic release schedule that it’s easy to miss the consistently strange, often delightful albums they spit out. Earlier this summer, the label dropped Operate Spaceship Earth Properly, a fresh & freaky 45-minutes of scuzzy psychedelia from Big Blood. The Portland, ME duo of Colleen Kinsella and Caleb Mulkerin — joined here in some capacity by their daughter, Quinnisa — have been delivering properly furry trips since the 1990s, originally as founders of Cerberus Shoal. The spin this time involves a tip of the hat to authors such as Octavia Butler and Ursula K. Le Guin via a science fiction-inspired song cycle. Yet, concept aside, the songs have serious teeth, stomping forward in a heady slop of bullying riffs, martial drumming and Kinsella’s third-eye rants. It’s headphone music for the deep forest, a turned-on reality-strip far more properly psychedelic than the jammed-out noodling frequently paraded by those dressed in thrifted tie dyes. Listen at your own risk; be changed.  

Ethan Covey

  Manu Delago—Parasol Peak (One Little Indian)

Manu Delago, a classically trained percussion who specializes in the steel-drum-like instrument known as a hang, isn’t doing things the easy way. For this album and the accompanying film, he convened a chamber group of seven people and led them, instruments and all, on a mountaineering expedition in the albums (pity the cellist). These eight tracks were recorded outside, in all kinds of weather, using natural elements like sticks, rocks and trees for additional textures. The result is a rather lovely blend of percussion-dappled Reichian minimalism, augmented by the sounds of water, thunder and wind. The music works its way to the summit, beginning in the leafy, sun-warmed environs of “Parasol Woods,” where reedy, breathy clarinet and pensive trombone catch the light sparkling off intricate webs of tonal percussion. By “Ridge View,” sounds have turned chillier and more remote; flute and chimes are buffeted by gales of wind. A mournful, solitary whistle frames “Listening Glacier,” a trebly coating of ice on a grounding drone of cello, but there is exuberance and accordion wheezing triumph in “Parasol Peak.” Fingers and lips must be pretty frozen all round by this point, but a warm, pulsing joy emanates from this brass-y, syncopated reel. The question arises: why would anyone do such a difficult thing?  But the answer is right there in the accompanying video. Because it was beautiful, because it was hard and because it made a sound no other new chamber group could make, with woods, mountains, stones and  physical effort built right in.

Jennifer Kelly

 Ethers—Ethers (Trouble in Mind)

s/t by Ethers

Ethers spun out of the late Chicago drone-punk-garage outfit Heavy Times, pulling front man Bo Hansen and bassist Russell Calderwood into this new enterprise and adding Calderwood’s wife Mary McKane and drummer Matt Rolin. Along the way, Hansen et al seem to picked up a heightened appreciation for melody and hook (and percolating keyboards thanks to McKane). “It’s a Rip-Off” lurches and jitters on slashed guitar riffs and hard, straight up and down drumming, but there’s an undeniable lilt in its fuzzy tune, and “Emily” balances bluster and tenderness in equal parts. If Heavy Times drove a post-punk freight train through a long, shadowy tunnel, Ethers breaks out into sunshine on the other side of the mountain, the darkness in the music but not all of it. “Something” ends the disc on a high note, chiming guitar notes streaking like meteors down to a burnt-bare beat, an intoxicating smell of sleeping gas all around.

Jennifer Kelly

 Iron & Wine — Weed Garden (Sub Pop)

Sam Beam has somehow become a master of the EP. Last year's full-length Beast Epic from Iron & Wine received critical acclaim and a Grammy nomination, but it never really settled the way much of his earlier work had. Given that Weed Garden draws from that album's leftovers, the new EP could have been a quick toss-off to turn a few dollars on otherwise dead songs. Happily, though, Beam delivers a strong, quick set. Where he had traded in resignation, this one starts with an immediate rally, the call in “What Hurts Worse” to “become the lovers we need.” His awareness of brokenness becomes the grounds for a fragile restoration, his voice and the smooth production serving the message.

A few years old but until now unreleased, “Waves of Galveston” brings the necessary precision to a complicated situation, and the continuing Croce-like sound fits the mood perfectly. “Last of Your Rock 'n' Roll Heroes” brings a steady bounce to a series of impressions that eventually give way to the darkness. Closer “Talking to Fog” uses language to resist pending dissipation, offering gentleness among hardness and “reaching out” despite knowing safer options. Beam's writing relies on visuals until he makes blurry images come into focus, even if he maintains that “it's hard to find.” It's a strong statement from Beam, an album's worth of care in a little EP, again.

Justin Cober-Lake

  The Lavender Flu — Mow the Glass (In The Red)

Heavy Air, The Lavender Flu’s 2016 debut was a double album of feel-bad rock sent forth from the Pacific Northwest damp to soundtrack an endless bummer. Chris Gunn, formerly of The Hunches and Hospitals, assembled the album at home, on analog tape, building and reworking the tracks into one of the year’s most impressive collages of sound. The second time around, with Mow the Glass, the approach is different. Here, Gunn is backed by a proper band — brother Lucas Gunn, former Hunches drummer Ben Spencer and Eat Skull’s Scott Simmons. Those folks all lent a hand to Heavy Air, yet here they are in the same room, playing together to the buzz of warmed amps and a view of the sea. The album is trim and clear, focusing Gunn’s aesthetic without losing sight of the mindset that got him here in the first place. A couple of cuts from the first LP — “Demons in the Dark,” a cover of Townes Van Zandt’s “Like a Summer Thursday” — reappear with fresh coats of paint. “You Are Prey” begins tipsy and unraveling, with the band chasing a whip of stereo-panning guitar, before setting into a reverb-rich ballad. The mood is subtlety sunnier throughout, like a crack of light on the horizon viewed from the soak of a storm.  

Ethan Covey

  Long Hots — Monday Night Raw (Self-Released)

Monday Night Raw by Long Hots

You should listen to Trouble Anyway, the new LP by Rosali Middleman. Middleman is a talented songwriter, but part of what makes Trouble Anyway so listenable is its lush instrumentation, all-star band, and pristine production. Middleman is also a member of The Long Hots, and their debut tape, Monday Night Raw sounds, by contrast, like it was recorded on a Fisher-Price tape deck by a band with about three weeks of musical experience between them. It’s glorious. The members of Long Hots are rock and roll lifers, so Monday Night Raw’s amateurism is both affected and effective, and sure to satisfy anyone who thinks Here Are the Sonics!!! is too slick. Of particular note is the ten minute “Boogie Trance,” which delivers exactly what it promises, no more, and “Die Die Die,” the chorus of which goes, you guessed it, “Die, Die, Die, Die.”  

Isaac Olson

  Paul Lydon — Sjórinn Bak Viò Gler (Paul Lydon)

sjórinn bak við gler by Paul Lydon

When you’re on your own, labels don’t mean much. Paul Lydon is an American musician who has been based in Reykjavik, Iceland since the mid-1990s. His discography is small, and he’s never made the same record twice. He’s sung alone and with a partner, in English and Icelandic, and kept the accompaniment varied each time. On Sjórinn Bak Viò Gler there is no singing at all, but it’s the most lyrical music of his recording career. The album’s title translates as The Sea Behind, and given Iceland’s prevailing clime you might want to keep it that way until there’s a closed door behind it and you. Lydon’s touch on the instrument betrays close acquaintance, and it’s easy to imagine him spending hours playing and ruminating on what he’s played. It doesn’t fall easily into any genre; its stream-of-consciousness flow is too perambulating for pop, too elaborate for minimalism and it doesn’t fall easily into any classical form. So let’s not worry about what it isn’t, and instead appreciate its confidently open-ended melodies and comfortably solitary mood.

Bill Meyer          

 Thee Open Sex — White Horses (Sophomore Lounge)

THEE OPEN SEX "White Horses" by Thee Open Sex

Indiana might seem like an odd place to give birth to a combo committed to diving deep into Krautrock concepts but think again. You’ve got highways and flat land that doesn’t afford much of a view once you’re over the cornfields; what could be more practical than motoric music? The Open Sex makes music that’ll whittle away the road miles, and White Horses is cut precisely to get you 35 minutes closer to home. That’s how long guitarist John Dawson and drummer Tyler Damon bear down on a groove that’s more metronomic than equine. Three guests use their playing as a foundation for a wheeling superstructure of squelchy notes and spacey textures. This is white line meditation music; be sure to stay mindful of the weight of your foot upon the gas.

Bill Meyer

 Rob Noyes & Ryan Lee Crosby — Modal Improvisations on 34 Strings (Cabin Floor Esoterica)

[CFE#68] Modal Improvisations on 34 Strings by Rob Noyes & Ryan Lee Crosby

On record and in concert, 12-string guitarist Rob Noyes displays a clarity of intent that you don’t often see from an artist who is young and new. But not only does he keep his picking clean and lyrical through rustic rounds and mystery-laden excursions, he keeps his head in the presence of a very different guitarist. Ryan Lee Crosby plays chaturangui, a sort of hybrid veena / dobro guitar developed by Debashish Bhattacharya. The chaturangui is suited to the swoop and chime of Hindustani ragas, and that’s how Crosby plays it. Noyes embroiders the contours of his partner’s voluptuous lines and pushes back with pure-sound strumming. He manages to sound quite supportive and engaged without compromising the very different character of his playing. This short (not quite 28 minutes) tape is a typically atypical Cabin Floor Esoterica product; home-dubbed and hand-wrapped, a first edition has already gone out of print, but a second run is imminent.

Bill Meyer  

 Riesgo — Demo MMXVIII (Self-released)

Demo MMXVIII by RIESGO

It’s not often that you can claim a tape is both a throwback to and a continuation of a vital movement in punk, but listen to Riesgo’s new demo. You can hear both of those historical trajectories as soon as “Lobxs” kicks it. The bass’s rubbery warbling and the guitars’ razoring buzz recall the initial tones of Black Flag’s “Nervous Breakdown.” Then Carlos Ruiz starts singing, and the tape’s sound snaps into sharper focus. Chicago’s South Side, Latinx punks, thrashy attitude: Riesgo have picked up the baton from the excellent and underappreciated Sin Orden, who in turn had received it from the nigh-legendary Los Crudos. (Or, in a couple cases, band members just held onto the baton: Ruiz sings for Sin Orden, and Jose Casas played guitar for Los Crudos.) Razacore is alive and angry. That’s good news, and very timely. Given our current national moment — the current bullshit hating on Latino American identity and the reactionary responses to the violence in Chicago — this bolus of pissed off, politically fierce punk is precisely what’s needed. “Ahógate” is a standout track. The vocals and lead guitar are pretty unhinged, while the rest of the band hammers away at a compelling hardcore riff. It’ll sound great in a sweaty basement. Viva, Riesgo!

Jonathan Shaw

  Rocket 808 — Digital Billboards b/w Mystery Train (12XU)

Digital Billboards b/w Mystery Train by Rocket 808

Rocket 808 is the latest incarnation of the garage guitar phenomenon John Schooley, whom you might remember from the Revelators (or if not, enjoy this set of Billy Childish covers laid to tape in a record store in Columbia, MO in 1996). A frequent solo performer (his website is called John Schooley and his One Man Band), Schooley does it all on these two tracks. “Digital Billboards” overlays the cheerful cheesiness of a vintage drum machine with incandescent flares of whammy and deep reverbed guitar darkness. Surf rock, sure, but evil and skeletal and scary, with shades of Suicide in the wild ghostly automatism. Side two’s “Mystery Train” amps up the rockabilly, the drum machine cranked to the breaking point, the guitar arcing and spitting in turbulent bursts. Schooley sings on this one, steering classic blues lines around hard bends until they lift off the pavement. This sort of blues-referencing, early-rock-aware music always has an element of parody, but Rocket 808 seems less performance-art-ish than Bob Log III or Heavy Trash. It’s dark and dangerous, a heightened reality rather than a pose.

Jennifer Kelly

 Sam Weinberg — A/V/E (Anticausal)

A/V/E by Sam Weinberg

Sam Weinberg has contributed some raw sax to some harsh ensemble settings, particularly the duo W-2 and various gigs with Weasel Walter. But when he closes the door to his Brooklyn apartment, things get real. The sounds from outside his window and on his kitchen table prove equally valuable as he constructs a mutating environment out of inscrutable industry, passing traffic and critters, the mechanical parts of his horns and some vigorously scoured surfaces. This is the stuff of life, or at least Weinberg’s life. Layer upon layer of sonic activity coexists like the residents of a big old NY apartment building, close in proximity yet not particularly interested in each other.

Bill Meyer

[ayy-to-zee]

Touch

masterlist //rules// request

Pairing: Haechan/ Lee Dong Hyuck X Reader

Genre: Fluff, super tiny bit of angst

Word Count: 1.9K +

Summary: 『 Touch seems to be just as essential as sunlight. 』- Diane Ackerman

『 I can’t even remember days without you or times I felt more comfortable alone... 』- NCT 127; TOUCH

☀️⭐✨☀️⭐✨☀️ ⭐✨☀️⭐✨☀️⭐

Lee Dong Hyuck certainly lived up to the name “Haechan.” It was a rather cute nickname that his CEO gave him the day he debuted as a part of NCT. Maybe it was part of because of his job as an idol, but to you, he “shone brightly” wherever he went.

That was what you’ve noted, seeing your boyfriend dance in his group’s Japanese debut music video. He definitely stood out to you more in this comeback, seeing him perform with such charisma and confidence. It disappointed you slightly that he didn’t have much of actual lines and mostly back-up vocals. You loved hearing his singing voice; it reminded you of the times he’d sing to himself when he busy cooking or traipsing around the grocery store aisles, looking around for condiments he thought you’d need for your rather bare pantry.

But, oh well, as long as Haechan is happy with his work and is giving his all in Japan at it, you’re happy, too.

You sighed, opening up your Messages app and tapping the first contact you’ve recently messaged:

📱📱[May 22, 2018, 23:45 PM]📱📱

You sent: heeellooooo my bootiful boyfriend ღゝ◡╹)ノ♡

hyuckiepoo sent: aaaaaaaand the bootiful boyfriend arrives~

hyuckiepoo sent: and jfc

hyuckiepoo sent: yuta’s taught you to use the kaomoji app, huh? that’s so old-school

You sent: I know but they looked cute! So why not?  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

hyuckiepoo sent: since you’re up at this time and texting me, you probably just watched the new jap mv even tho it was released 2 weeks ago. you didn’t mention it last time bc you didn’t watch it, right?

You sent: (´⊙ω⊙`)！

hyuckiepoo sent: you’re just that predictable, boo

You sent: (ง •̀_•́)ง Fight me if you dare, poo-

hyuckiepoo sent: calm thyself, boo. I get it, work was probably being an ass to you during that time, right? 乁( ◔ ౪◔)ㄏ

You sent: Now, you’re using it? (o`Ao)?

hyuckiepoo sent: It’s cute when I use it (◡ ‿ ◡ ✿)

You sent: Whatever you makes you sleep at night, hyuckie (∗´꒳`)

hyuckiepoo sent: Well? How was it? Did I charm you all over again? (๑‾̀◡‾́)

You sent: (u v u)

You sent: You looked real cute.

You sent: Like I wanted to pat your head during your center time.

hyuckiepoo sent: YAH. 

hyuckiepoo sent: YOU STILL STUCK IN TOUCH?

hyuckiepoo sent: THIS IS A SEXIER CONCEPT. EMPHASIS ON THE S E X Y.

hyuckiepoo sent: I DID NOT PRACTICE LOOKING AT THE CAMERA FOR A MONTH TO BE THOUGHT OF AS CUTE BY MY OWN GIRLFRIEND

☀️⭐✨☀️⭐✨☀️ ⭐✨☀️⭐✨

You laughed aloud in your bedroom, surprised at his quick response to your comment and the sudden lack of kaomojis. You started rolling over on your bed at the thought of him just practicing what his face must have looked like. He probably got advice from either Taeyong or Yuta.

Okay, you admitted, the first half of the time that he appeared, he looked really... really cool, but—

☀️⭐✨☀️⭐✨☀️ ⭐✨☀️⭐✨

You sent: BUT YOU LOOKED TINY WITH THAT BEAN POLE DANCING BEHIND YOU

You sent: DON’T PROVE ME OTHERWISE

hyuckiepoo sent: I CAN’T HELP THAT JOHNNY WAS PLACED BEHIND ME

hyuckiepoo sent: YOU-

hyuckiepoo sent: U W U

hyuckiepoo sent: Because I am a kind af boyfriend and am just that nice, I will not fly all the way back to Seoul to hit you

You sent: Yes, hyuckie poo, you are the best bf ever u v u

hyuckiepoo sent: But that doesn’t mean you’re off the hook, boo

You sent: O v O !!

hyuckiepoo sent: Love me tons when I come back, k? We’ll see if I forgive you then. I want 10x the cuddles.

You sent: Yes, yes, the love of my life, I will spoil you rotten ( ˊᵕˋ )♡.°⑅

hyuckiepoo sent:  y o u b e t t e r (๑◕ㅂ▰)～♥

📱📱[-END CONVO-]📱📱

You smiled at the thought, him being back home. Your playful bickering together, your late night movie dates, your trips to the arcades and amusement parks, your day-long cuddling sessions, you waking up next to him the morning after a sleepover—

You stared at his contact photo in your messages before you looked to your other SNS accounts for pictures of him doing well in Japan. You chuckled bitterly as you scrolled down each feed. He really was a “full sun,” indeed, you thought, dropping your phone weakly onto the bed with a fan camera focused on him playing on the screen. 

Even though you sounded so close to each other, he felt so... unreachable.

Even though you two called yourselves a couple, the both of you were just so far apart from each other nowadays.

Yes, you guys were together for three months, but you barely spend any physical time together. Most of your time was spent online. Those dates where you actually got to be together you had happened only once in every blue moon just because your schedules just happened to give you both time off.

Even with all that, you had no reason to doubt his love for you even when the distance between you was so wide. You knew the trials that came with dating him. You had no reason to think he was being unloyal to you. He proved his love for you every single day and didn’t make you feel unhappy. 

So why did it still hurt you so much?

You felt the back of your eyes sting. You sniffed your nose and wiped your eyes immediately with your sweater sleeve. Nope. You were not going to cry about this again. Yes, it’s been nearly a month since you last saw each other but you knew what would happen if you agreed to date him. Three months ago, when you returned his confession, you figured this would eventually happen once you date someone so untouchable.

Your mind was brought back down to reality once you heard your ringtone blaring off from your phone. You wiped your eyes once again, picking up your phone and checking who was daring to call at nearly one in the morning.

📞📞“ hyuckiepoo is calling ”📞📞

What a fucking scare, you thought. It’s been quite a while since your last phone call with him. You sniffed again, clearing your sinuses to make sure your voice sounded at least normal enough and tapped the the green icon.

“Hyuck?”

“No, this is your social security service...” you rose a brow at the rather polite tone going off through the phone. “Yah! Of course it’s me, haha! Who else would be calling you?” You giggled at the sound of his voice. It’s been so long since you heard him laugh so heartily like that through the phone.

“Hm... Maybe Jeno? He said he’s going to call to check up on me since my boyfriend isn’t in Seoul to do that, anyway,” you mused, biting your bottom lip in expectation.

You heard him mock a scoff on the other side of the line. “‘Scuse me?!” you lightly snorted at his tone, disbelief laced into his voice. “Are you seriously talking to Jeno of all people behind my back?”

“W-Well...! What’s wrong with Jeno? He’s nice, isn’t he?” you asked, feigning innocence as you scooched over to grab the stuffed toy Dong Hyuck gave you on your first date on your drawer before you let your back rest comfortably on the pillows.

It wasn’t all untrue. Jeno did keep you some company but it was mostly limited to meme-sending and you asking if your boyfriend will ever return, which he is honestly tired of hearing because:

📱📱[May 21, 2018, 20:45 PM]📱📱

jeno my child sent: why don’t you ask him yourself?? you text him all the time smh;;; now lemme sleep early today. being an mc tomo = tons of work

📱📱[-END CONVO-]📱📱

“Boo. News flash, if you don’t remember. He’s called Je-no fun for a reason,” you scoffed at his mockery. “But you could have called me during this week, I wanted to hear your voice even for a little bit...”

“Boy, he’s not that bad. His memes are practically golden, I guess,” you huffed, trying to play it away. You froze for a bit there at his statement, biting your lip nervously. Even if you did, you’d probably be too busy to answer my phone calls, anyway, said the anxiety and insecurity bubbling up in the back of your throat. You had so much excuses to give to make up for the fear of him getting tired of you eating you up during the past month.

“Fossilized gold, probably. I send you the best memes and you know it, boo,” Donghyuck huffed through the phone. “When did that guy ever send you anything that actually made you laugh? That’s right. Never, haha!”

“Sure you do, bub,” you said in rather light agreement as if to tease him just a bit more. You could already hear him tapping his foot in frustration on the bedroom floor of his hotel suite. The thought made you giggle a bit. You could imagine him walking around the entire dorm room just trying to look for reasons why you shouldn’t be talking to Jeno. 

After a few seconds of silence on the other side of the line, you expected him to start to talk about what the members did today, complain about his how tiring his performance was in the showcases they held, maybe ask you how you were doing at work, talk about what he saw in Japan that reminded him of you, or ask if you were sleeping enough at night. 

Instead you were caught off-guard by the next three words his voice emitted: “I miss you...” 

You didn’t know if you held your breath or not but that seriously took your breath away. “Hyuck...” you tried to speak in an attempt to try to play if off like you would usually do but he just interrupted you, beginning to voice himself out.

“Hear me out. It’s been a month by now since we last spent time together. I know I may have said that I’ve been okay in our texts. Well, I technically am but...” he continued, the cheery tone in his voice disappearing. You swore, it sounded like he wanted to cry.

“I couldn’t get my head off the thought of you... I keep trying to focus but I keep thinking back to the days when we would stay in each others arms all day... I want to hold your hand, hug you, kiss you... And when I think about you not being next to me, it hurts a lot...God, it’s cringy, what the hell, but I seriously can’t take it... I know our schedules suck like shit but I really really want to be with you so so bad... I want to see you...” 

All this time about you silently worrying about yourself being a burden and you failed to even see if your boyfriend felt the same. What a great partner you were, you bitterly thought to yourself. You bit your lip as it quivered, finding it hard to breathe as he continued to speak.

“Hey...?” As much as you wanted to quickly respond to him to assure that you were fine and not going to cry, you couldn’t. All this time of feeling so alone without him just pent up within you and finally let loose.

“Me, too, Dong Hyuck...” You  finally replied, your voice trembling with every second. “I miss you so so much...” you hiccuped, wiping your tears away. “It felt so lonely without you... I wanted to fly to you so bad but I didn’t want to get in your way... I didn’t want to feel like I was being a burden to you... I didn’t want you to get tired of me and not love me anymore...”

“Who said I’d stop loving you?”

Your eyes widened, hearing his voice simultaneously from different places, one from your phone and the other as if he was in the ... same room...

You whipped your head to see the very same Lee Dong Hyuck you fell in love with, roller bag handle in one hand, his phone in the other one. You remembered buying him the jacket and shirt he donned for his birthday. He pulled down the hood and pulled his black mask down, his eyes looking at you with such a loving gaze as he flashed you that grin that made you melt a thousand times over. 

“Surprise, I guess?” he said, shrugging his shoulders. A small laugh escaping his lips when he saw that you drop your phone on the bed. 

You immediately jumped off the bed, rushing over to pull him into your arms, feeling his warmth envelope you as he returned the favour with just as much fervor, burying his face in the crook of your neck.

Gods, he couldn’t recall the last time he ever brought you into his arms like this. Did you always feel this soft and warm? He didn’t remember your hair getting longer either. Did you forget to trim your hair? Whatever, he didn’t care anymore.

“I missed you so much, Hyuck...” you murmured, your tears dampening that precious jacket you got him. Dong Hyuck could care less, anyway. You were here. Right beside him. That was all that mattered to him.

“... I missed me, too, haha,” you laughed softly against his chest, lightly hitting his shoulder before he pulled you away from him. “But I missed you more...” he breathes out, his voice shaky and desperate.

“I love you so so much, (Y/N)...” he whined softly, resting his forehead against your own before cupping his hands over your cheeks and leaning over to graciously plant kisses on your forehead, each of your cheeks, your nose, and each area at the side of your lips before pulling away to take a good look at your face, as if implanting the image of you into the very back of his head. Every crease, wrinkle and imperfection you had on you and were insecure about just made you seem so... so... you and Dong Hyuck wouldn’t have you any other way.

Being Haechan, the idol who “shone brightly” beyond your grasp, was definitely a huge part of his life. But you definitely cannot ignore the fact that behind the light shining brightly was the shadow of Lee Dong Hyuck, the witty, mischievous, brusque, yet soft-hearted man who declared he’d love you like there was no tomorrow.

Yes, your relationship was rather complicated and there was no telling if you both would last long. There will definitely come days where you’re forced to do nothing but watch him from afar and bask as he shines on stage like the star he was born to be.

All that mattered to you, though, were moments like these, where his touch was just as important as sunlight.

-END-

☀️⭐✨☀️⭐✨☀️ ⭐✨☀️⭐✨

A/N: Hello! This is my first time to post up or show any of my written works so comments/critiques/feedback of any sort is super helpful! >v<!!