#(anything in my own handwriting is obviously Read Just For Fun lol)

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

i really am consistently doubling or tripling the word count of anything i scrapped in favor of loose leaf additions, huh

[kusagrasskusa]

Michael Myers X Murderer! Reader - Headcannons - "Death Card"

Also, thank you (Wattpad Person) for requesting this :) I know your the last request I got, so I prolly should have done someone else's request first, but your's was just easiest to find. (Also, I have it bad for Michael so )

Have fun reading this! I'm writing this on my laptop instead of computer so sorry if the formatting turns out worse than usual :/

Also...someone made fun of me for putting, "eight," and, "11," in the same sentence. I guess not many people know this, but anything under ten is supposed to be written out unless their fractions or decimals.

By the way, these basically aren't headcannons lol. It's just me wanting to write out a story but not being good enough to so I just write it down in simpler terms.

Enjoy~

Not only is Y/N just another famous murder who casually takes the lives of people, but she's amazing at hiding

..........until-

Y/N was an abusive home after her parents died when she was a toddler. Her aunt and uncle neglected her but karma came back at them when their car fell off a bridge, causing the pair to drown. The downside for the young Y/N was that she was put into a foster institution. And we all know by now that foster care are full of fights, drugs, weed, alcohol, and shitty employees.

As a young girl entering such a bad place, she was always a target. You know that sense of fear, worthlessness, and loneliness fucked with her head to where she felt lashing out felt great.

She would be unable to stop herself as she plunged a sharp object in and out of this prick that held her down for so long. But once she heard voices from other kids, she ran.

The story made headlines as the next big attack from yet another child. That's right, next. There was someone who inspired her to do what she did.

Of course, she always had that memory in the back of her head. That boy's violent actions filled her with immeasurable awe when she saw the news. However, she always had something more important to think about.

With so much dissatisfaction with her past, she could only fill herself up with adding things on to her in the present, and more in the future.

Y/N would steal Poker cards from people and always use the Ace of Spades to mark her kills by sliding the card into a wound. After all, betting games were the highlight of her day in the foster institution. She was always so good at it that it became her pride.

All these headlines and stories about how evil she is became such a big deal in her head. Such an overwhelming feeling of adrenaline every time she heard the name people would call her.

"The Death Card," is another name for Ace of Spades in most English countries. It was the perfect fit for Y/N.

(Ya'll, I feel like a fucking genius for coming up with that lol)

She was so good at hiding, truly. Kill someone in Kentucky, then move to Missouri. Killing someone there and move to Georgia, and so on.

Only in her hometown was she caught.

Michael was the one who started it all for her, as their same age and hometown made her feel connected to him, and finally where he got caught would be the same place she did.

14 years of hiding and killing led her to meeting him

Michael spent these 14 years sitting in complete silence. No talking, no humming, no singing, nothing. It's like he was always in his own world of thought, too busy in his imagination to interact with the real world.

Of course, there was times when he did pay attention to what's around him.

The news was the only thing he'd really pay close attention to. After all, what if something happens to Haddonfield while's he's stuck in there, and that causes plenty of people he once knew to move away?

But per usual, there was nothing about it

But there was something that caught his attention even by a little

"After 14 years, the notorious Death Card or Card of Death has finally been caught," says the Haddonfield Police Department. "While we're unsure of her motives thus far, we have been able to learn of who she is. Y/N L/N made the headlines once in 1980 at the age of eight as one of America's biggest crime cases with children as the culprit, having brutally stabbed a 15 year old boy. This happened just two years after the Michael Myers case, when a six year old boy stabbed his older sister in 1978. All else the HPD are saying is that her frantic behavior may lead her to a mental institution rather than letting her make legal decisions in court."

Michael paid attention to all the details of the report. For this report to be made about Haddonfield, chances are they'll be meeting each other soon.

The Death Card was a violent killer Michael heard of plenty of times however he never paid close attention to.

(Holy shit these are just headcannons so why am I writing long paragraphs)

He had to say, hearing about her violent stabbings were the highlight of his week. Even if he never felt strong about hearing other people having fun with their lives like she was, he couldn't help but almost feel pushed to do what she is. Living freely and ending those who cross his path...

Saying he was jealous or inspired would be a stretch though

He would spend his days painting paper mache masks while thinking of doing what she was for sure but he hated how she would show off by using those cards as if she didn't have a goal in mind, which was annoying to him. If you have nothing to live for, then kill yourself was his mindset.

Michael watched as Y/N stepped into court. He know hundreds- no thousands- of people watched as this woman of pure evil stepped into the courtroom. Her H/C hair flowed as she walked passed everyone, glaring at them with her cold E/C eyes.

A look of slight intrigue replaced his normal dull expression as he watched the girl stand up before the judge, smiling sassily at the cameras as to tell them to fuck off. Michael can recognize that look of intrusion on her face as she was practically interrogated. Clearly, she hated it there.

He watched contently as all the mystery surrounding the Card of Death was revealed to everyone in this world. Days went by of this court case before finally, she pled insanity. After all, she was known to have some underlying mental conditions as she remained so calm when talking about the varies of ways she would kill.

It's easy to see that many felt bad for the girl. Such trauma growing up led to the creation of this unfortunate human. But Michael? He didn't feel bad at all.

He never was sad or truly sympathetic however...he did feel pity. Somewhere in his soulless eyes held pity for this sad, sad girl he was soon to meet. Not exactly sympathy, but simply pity. And with that came respect.

The day that Y/N stepped foot into those doors was the day the two would meet for the very first times. Over 63 counts of first degree murder in 14 years led to the meeting of these two serial killers. At the time, they were both only 20.

Tables were scattered across the room with people talking or simply sitting alone by themselves on them. There was TV in a few different places around the room and board games in a couple of shelves. In the back of the large room was windows that showed the outside that felt so out of reach forever.

As the metal doors slammed behind her, she felt eyes on her immediately. Y/N slowly scanned the room as she gulped back the intense fear gathering in her stomach. Her lips parted open as she began to breath heavily and press her back on those metal doors.

She was so trapped and scared when she first entered that foster institution. She couldn't help but think of karma when her aunt would hurt her so badly for those five years before she died. But 63 murders are so much worse, so what could karma do to her to balance her evil deeds with punishment?

Laughter and giggled filled her ears as she shut her eyes tightly and covered her face with her arms. Her vision was going blurry; she was having a panic attack. Tears fell from her eyes as she whimpered quietly to herself.

She may be the Card of Death however she never had to be in a large group of people in so long.

Her body jerked as she was suddenly pulled away from those metal doors. She cried out when she saw a large man, around 6'7 (204cm), pull her away.

In just a few seconds, she was pulled to a metal table and forced to sit as the large man stood behind her with his hands on her shoulders.

Her body tensed unimaginably as they remained still for a few seconds, quiet aside from the occasional sobs of Y/N.

Then suddenly, the pressure on her shoulders disappeared. She heard nothing until the sound of creaking from the seat in front of her interrupted.

Y/N felt eyes on her. They were so intense over her.

A minute passed before her own eyes fluttered open, meeting the man's eyes in front of her.

A shiver ran down her spine when she came face to face with stone cold blue eyes that seemed to hold nothing within them. No light, no soul, and no sympathy. Not only that, but a orange mask made of paper mache covered the rest of his face as well.

The man tilted his head before lifting his hand onto the table, sliding something over to her. Y/N looked down at what he gave her.

"Don't speak. Write."

Michael had given her a paper with these words. His handwriting was hard to read considering he nearly never wrote anything so it took a moment before Y/N got the message. When she did, she looked back up at the man and nodded just a little so it was barely recognizable.

Obviously this conversation was to be secretive so she knew to barely show signs of interactions. The camera couldn't pick up on such a small nod to what evidence is there of them even interacting?

Michael slid the paper back to him and brought a pencil to the paper after erasing the original text. When he slid it back to her, it read, "Don't let anyone know what we say Y/N. They watch everything." When Y/N looked back up at him, she saw him dart his eyes from something behind her to something on the wall between them. She turned her head slightly to the side, noticing a camera on the wall. So she understood.

Michael had dropped on the pencil on the table, meaning it was her turn to reply. She erased the previous text before writing down, "Who are you? How do you know me?" When she slid it back, Michael took the pencil in his hand again.

"Michael Myers. I was a well known case two years before you. We heard a lot about you on TV."

"As in the boy who killed his sister at the age of six?"

"Yes. You know me?"

Y/N's eyes widened slightly as she frantically wrote down a reply. Without even noticing, the knot in her stomach had completely disappeared without a trace.

"I remember seeing your case. I thought about everyday."

Michael didn't reply immediately after reading. Instead, he waited a few minutes and stared down at the table. A look of confusion remained on Y/N's features as she impatiently waited. Then suddenly, Michael erased what was on the paper and simply drew a masked person looking somewhat like himself with a knife in his hand. He drew dead stick figures around it with blood splattering everywhere.

Michael knew that this picture would cover up all the eraser marks and writings that were still slightly visible. So when the guard that walked up behind Y/N without her knowing popped up, he didn't see any text.

Of course, this did lead to the paper being taken away. Then minutes after that, both of the pair was taken away.

If there's one thing as scary as analyzing The Shape and caring for him, it's that person who cares and analyzes him finding him interacting with someone else for the first time.

Whenever Y/N got sat down in her cell, she knew what was about to happen. She was sat down in her bed as a man she'd never seen before sat down in the chair that came with her little desk in her cell with a guard next to him.

Have you ever spoken to Michael? Are you related to him? How do you know him? How does he know you? Have you ever met his family? Why did he interact to you? Why was he drawing things for you? Does he like you? Does he hate you? Did he write to you? Did you hear him talk?

So many questions were asked by this Dr Loomis in such short amount of time. "No, no, I don't, no, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, no, no," and mostly these were your responses. No matter how many times Loomis asked, you dully replied.

You simply said he sat you down and you began to draw together, both filling in a piece of the drawing together.

And eventually, you got out.

Another day went by of "talking" to Michael.

And another.

And another.

The talks were nice and casual. What goes on in the asylum? What goes on in the outside? Who should I avoid? What's the reputation of the HPD?

Do you want to escape?

But it was only a matter of time before finally the two were friends.

Y/N was kinda just in her cell one night in bed. Then she just gasped and widened her eyes. Wait, are we friends? We're friends, right!

Michael already knew of their friendship like two weeks before she did. It felt so...wrong for him. He had always been alone and silent. How could someone like her even be so likeable to him? He didn't really understand it but he knew he hated it.

One day, the two were writing to each other per usual. Michael unintentionally added a pun in one of his comments, causing Y/N to giggle. Michael cocked his head to the side in confusion, strangely feeling heat rise his face and his heart speed up. It was air conditioned so he suspected he may have gotten sick.

Whenever the two had to go back to their cells, that feeling suddenly disappeared. Then it hit him. Oh fuck-

Hell, only a week later did Y/N feel herself experiencing the same symptoms. Michael notices that Y/N would shake and fidget a lot when they interacted, making him wonder of she was cold. As a friend, it was only right for him to sit next to her and hold her close to keep her warm, right? Y/N's face went red and damn that was embarrassing. But of course, that didn't mean Y/N wouldn't hug him back.

Eventually the two were basically cuddling. The two hugging each other warmly as Y/N rested her head on his chest, struggling to stay awake as they got more comfortable by the second.

But of course, Dr Loomis caught eye of that.

The doctor had been looking deep into al the interactions these two evil beings have had. They act so casual, so normal with each other, surely more than just drawing is happening between them, right?

The doctor had pulled them into his office separately to interrogate them. While Y/N bluntly answered his questions to make him just shut up as quickly as possible, she couldn't help but think to herself. She knows that she and Michael are mentally ill, but he should definitely be fixed by now. He's smart and creative and can casually talk to people, so it's like the only thing keeping him here is that the doctors are so ill-equipped that they can't make the necessary breakthrough to save him.

Of course, just a month later, another incident happened like this. Y/N was having a bad migraine so Michael got her to just sit down and wait for him during lunch. He brought over two trays of food for them and was sure to trade with Y/N so she can eat the things she likes and he could have the things she dislikes.

Another time, a bipolar guy ran into Michael and shoved him as if it was his fault. Michael shoved him back instinctively, causing a fight to disperse between the two. As security guards took notice, Y/N was quick to push Michael away softly and ball a fist to punch the fuck out of that guy- like a, "YO WHATCHU SAY ABOUT MY MAN?" type shit. Y/N did this to seem like she was hitting back and that Michael hadn't done anything wrong.

And when each other's birthday's rolled around, they had their own celebration. Y/N was given her own paper mache mask as a gift and a small cupcake from the cafe. Michael was given stolen art supplies that were taken from other guests and also a cupcake.

Y/N slowly stopped having panic attacks, but she definitely had her moments. Of course, Michael sat with her through it.

Dr Loomis recorded all this shit so he can gather data on Michael. Then the question hit him: How would Michael react if Y/N was gone for a few days? Does he truly care about her or is he just using her?

If you think Michael hated Loomis before, wait til he pieced together the disappearance of girlfriend and the extensive eyesight on him from security guards. For the hell he raised about it, he had to get sterilized and put into a cell without being able to get out for a few days.

Y/N remained bored in her cell for days. So what better could she do than annoy the guard watching her? She would just talk nonstop for what felt like hours and hours. The dude watching her was just getting more pissed off by the second.

"Would you shut up? Crazy bitch," he hissed, hitting the cell door. Y/N giggled cockily, shaking her head. Even if she deserved to be yelled at for continuing to talk, the Card of Death refused to back down. But when the guard went inside her cell and locked the door behind him, she got a bit worried.

Y/N got off her bed and threatened him cockily, to which he responded with physical force.

Of course, Smith's Groove is ill-equipped so even with proof of being hit and tazed, Y/N couldn't do anything to get the guard fired. But Michael?

A full month without seeing each other was like a slow suicide. But when they finally got to see each other again, the two was sure to write so much about their time alone as if they were teenage friends discussing their fun weekends. However, things turned dark whenever Y/N brought up the guard.

Michael didn't show any emotions at all, no matter what happens. But Y/N learned to guess how he's feeling depending on how long he takes to respond. Slowed blinking as if he was in thought, and slower reading as got analyze her writing closer were typically bad signs.

About a year had passed since they met at this time. A year to plan to escape. By now, the two were both 21 and fully prepared to leave once and for all.

Whenever that security guard had walked passed Michael's cell one night, Michael had knocked on the door to signal him. Michael slipped a paper through the doorslot, as he was given paper since he doesn't talk, saying he found a dead mouse in his cell. The guard just huffed and let himself inside. Michael pointed to where the mouse supposedly was; and that was a mistake for the guard.

Right as that guard went to look, Michael got behind and covered his mouth before stabbing him in the neck with a paint brush that's but carved into a small blade. Within moments, the guard dropped dead onto the floor.

Taking the keys from the guard, Michael was able to let out nearly every single prisoner to this hell out of their cells. Including Y/N.

The world sister was the only thing left of the pair as it was engraved into the door of Michael's cell. And just like that, the two were gone.

How they got there so fast doesn't matter but eventually Y/N and Michael found an abandoned house to station at until the search around the area disappeared and they could move around quicker.

"I can't fucking believe it," Y/N cheered as she felt tears run down her face from happiness. She swayed across the room, taking in the smell of dust and air. Even something dirty felt so new to her that couldn't help but love it at the moment.

Michael would watch her as he sat down in an old wooden chair, cocking his head. His body was in complete shock as the realization of all that's happened in the past years came crashing down on him. This was the real world? This is what dust smells like? This is what shattered glass and broken wood looks like? This is what trees look like up close? This is what things look like without glass tinting the color?

This is what it feels like to celebrate with someone you love? Michael reminded himself that the girl in front of him changed his life so much. His urge to harm all around him was always so strong, but the thought of her being hurt felt a bad taste in his mouth.

He stood up from the chair, walking towards the ecstatic girl as she cried happily to herself and picked up random things to remind herself of what they feel like and all she takes for granted. She turned her head to him, smiling, "Michael, look, I found a-"

Y/N gasped as Michael gripped his mask and slowly moved it. Y/N watched in awe as for the first time, she saw her only friend in this world's real face. That pale skin and soulless eyes that she grew familiar with became so new to her again.

"Michael..." she whispered, stepping closer to him. Her face heated up as she felt the weight his eyes staring down at her. She lightly bit her lip, a shiver going down her spine.

He took a few steps closer as well, making the two remain inches away from each other. Now at this point, Y/N is questioning if Michael is gonna kill her or is gonna kiss her as he awkwardly put his hand to her cheek, brushing her hair away. She leaned her head into his hand, keeping eye contact with him the whole time.

In just a matter of moments, the two came together in a soft kiss. The moment was quiet as the two did their best to remain calm and together as this moment that was little way's overdue continued.

When the two pulled away, Y/N was quick to wrap her arms around him. Now she wasn't going to cry about it, but damn was that contact she needed so badly. The Death Card and The Shape were basically Yin and Yang with how one is emotional and the other in emotionless but their need for pain and each other is what kept it healthy.

Just imagine how much suffering families went through since the two got out.

[atopearth]

Collar X Malice: Unlimited Part 7 - Adonis Route

Honestly, I find the way Ichika joined Zero's side to be pretty iffy even back then in the original game, so I kinda hoped something like Kazuki dying would have changed here but I guess not.. I feel sorry for Kazuki that they reconciled but she still ended up joining Adonis alongside Akito, it must be a pretty big shock having to deal with that. (EDIT: guess he is gone..) Ichika being at the top and training people in marksmanship and stuff is very interesting lol. She looks all right with short hair but yeah, I agree with Zero, I liked the long hair more. Anyway, Zero wants her to find out if there's a traitor amongst them before the next X-Day (since the one 2 years ago failed) in 30 days. Anyway, it seems like you go through each of the Adonis' executors' stories so that's interesting. I'm just going to go from the ones I least like to the ones I like the most haha, and then leave Mikuni for last I guess. Well, Hana's story first then~

Kobayashi Hana

I guess Hana is as bright as ever. I quite enjoy seeing her try and dress Ichika up and make her cuter lol. On the other hand, seeing her mercilessly cut through that panda cake was pretty hilarious. One thing I enjoyed insight into was hearing that Hana has been avoiding going to Isshiki's concerts to avoid causing any trouble to them with the police just in case they come to crash it because of her or something. Honestly, I was pretty impressed. Like, she's always been pretty selfish, and she's always prioritised her love for Isshiki above everything, but to see that she could stop herself to protect him was nice in its own way. Even though she's a pretty ruthless killer, and even though she's obsessed with Isshiki, I guess she does think things through a bit so that Isshiki won't ever have to suffer because of her. Hmm Ichika seemed to reminisce about Kazuki, does that mean he died? Anyway, these investigations are short? Are they really just segments of story for Ichika to become friends with each person? Lol. I mean, Ichika literally did nothing but talk about random stuff with Hana lol. I actually find it rather endearing that Hana and Ichika can fight so openly about their feelings and understand that they actually do want the best for each other, it's kinda nice how they became good friends under such circumstances.

Soda Manabu

Honestly, I kinda wish we could just pick one character and continue until the investigation completes because it's sooo annoying having to press on each one like 7 times just to get a couple of lines of story each time Zzz. Anyway, gotta admit Ichika is pretty judgmental towards Soda, and actively tries to "fix" him and thinks what he does is "wrong", which is pretty annoying tbh. Just because she doesn't understand games, she thinks it's useless to Adonis, and then judges him for his eating habits? Lol. Anyway, at least she tried playing his game though lol, and even got lessons from him haha. I see, I can understand why Ichika would go to Zero for "revenge" but not sure about the "sadness" thing if that's what she's going for tbh. Losing Yanagi, Enomoto, Shiraishi, Okazaki and Kazuki is a big hit and I can understand it shattering her world, but going to Adonis is basically breeding everything that killed everyone important to her. Anyway, Sasazuka's pained voice telling Ichika not to go to Adonis really hurt. I'm sure he's really hurting over the fact he didn't notice the weapons that ended up killing everyone, alongside survivor's guilt of being the only one who survived out of the group, and then now not even being able to stop Ichika from going over to the other side.. It's painful to see. Anyway, lmao, Soda is probably a tamer little brother than Kazuki. His words are harsh but you can tell he only talks like that to protect himself, so any time he swears, I don't bother taking him seriously, he's a hurt little kid. It's cute how Ichika mixed his hated eggplants into the gratin and he didn't even notice, but he ate the whole thing happily🤣 He's so adorable lmao, especially when his face went red and he told her he'd eat her stuff again (even though she shouldn't hear it), and then he ran off🤣

It seems like Soda regrets his actions much more than I initially thought. He was able to get revenge, but now he's even more scared of death because of what he had done, and now he's just in this never-ending cycle of fear, needing to have Zero's power to protect himself, doing his bidding so that he won't die, but at the same time being so scared of his life that the only time he probably feels "safe" is when he plays his games. I love how happy he was when Ichika gave him a SS tier rare item and he put it on, locked it and kept it in a special box🤣 That's so cuteee. Definitely enjoyed Soda's mini part more than I thought hahaha, he's such a cute little kid, which makes it kinda sad lol. Soda blowing up and getting mad at Ichika for playing solo and saying she didn't need connections when she made him realise he wanted to start building connections because of her was really...heartwarming. Soda gave up on people and a lot of things thinking that he could never have them because that's how it was considering how people are, but he changed his mind after Ichika so insistently barged into his life, and now to say that it's practically useless would be extremely hurtful to him. I was really impressed with Soda, and I'm happy that he even told Ichika that she can rely on him more, he's such a sweet boy🥲

Uno Suzune

Lmaooo poor Shion, the woes of a big brother. I found it hilarious how Suzune would give him the green peas she doesn't like even though Shion hates them too, definitely something siblings would do🥲 I superrrr agree with Suzune about handwriting diaries instead of writing a blog! I mean, I have both obviously, but I definitely have different feelings when I read my blog and when I read my writing in my diary. Through my blog, I can easily read my exact thoughts and get to the gist of what I'm talking about, but with my diary, I can see stuff like when I started getting tired of writing, when I felt like changing my pen, and a lot of other feelings that can't be seen or portrayed properly in a typed blog, and yes, the memories of me writing all this usually comes back better when I've written it, mainly because I either say it in the entry or because I can actually remember sitting there and putting time into writing about my life/day.

Guess Suzune's pretty yandere for her brother if any kind of possible romantic interest from Ichika gets her other self to come out and threaten her about it lol. Anyway, it's cute how she’s starting to kinda think of Ichika as a big sister. Suzune willingly taking Ichika to Shion and calling Ichika Chi-chan is probably the biggest improvement you can get considering she could stab you as the worst case hahha. Well, Suzune was definitely cuter than I thought and seeing her so vulnerable, shy but wanting to protect Shion and getting out of her shell for him was sweet. Are there endings for each executor? Well, anyway, Suzune saying she would be sad if anything happened to Ichika was really sweet.

Sugawara Rika

Lmao, I forgot Sugawara is obsessed with Zero, this is going to be fun I guess. It's kinda funny that getting a 50,000 yen strawberry entices her lol, I'm surprised Zero approved it as an expense, like dang, can I have one too, I'm curious lol. Lmao when Sugawara wanted to keep the strawberries as a memento instead of eating it😂 She should have been convinced when Ichika said it'll become a part of her hahahah. LOL when Sugawara started lecturing Ichika about dressing better in front of Zero, and then tried to get her makeup to make her look better, but then Ichika runs away😂

Okay, I loved the girls dress up night with Hana, Ichika and Sugawara. It was so funny how they started arguing about what Ichika should wear and then became fast enough friends to recommend each other stuff and then wear it for fun. I loveee that they had a CG for their new outfits because they're all so pretty, I love them! I think Hana's is my favourite because it's so simple but cute in a different way from her usual. I guess it's kinda cute how in Hana's investigation, Hana focuses on Ichika's clothing fashion, but Sugawara takes it further or I guess mainly focuses on skincare, makeup and haircare haha. I guess it's nice that Sugawara is definitely much more open about standing up for herself and other women when it comes to men who try to objectify them or think of them as "lesser". She's become stronger. I think it's kinda sad to see that amongst all the other happy mini endings with the other executors, Rika's one with Ichika is actually pretty sad because it was through them bonding that Rika noticed Ichika's true intentions of revenge, and that's why they can never truly see eye-to-eye and be friends.

Ogata Tomoki

I guess I didn't expect Ogata to be the type to go to batting cages, but I even more didn't expect him to reserve sweets to make sure he can get them hahaha! It's nice that he enjoys wagashi though, I definitely should have tried it when I went to Japan, but I completely forgot😭 Aww, Ogata had such a sweet daughter! Whenever his wife wasn't looking, she would eat his hated tomatoes for him! Such a kind kid😭 I've never heard of monaka before, so I googled it and they look nice!! Kinda like an ice cream sandwich but not with ice cream and has red bean paste and other stuff inside I guess? I would totally eat it. Lmaoo at Ichika's impression of the typical salaryman😂😂 It's true though, I can't imagine Ogata going home to watch comedy shows with a beer in his hand🤣 Aww it was so cute how Ogata did an impersonation of a character in a drama because he got so used to doing it for his daughter. But lmao at Ichika though, telling him what he can improve on since Adonis might have end of the year parties he could use it for, imagine a bunch of terrorists partying for something so normal like the end of the year hahah😂😂

It's actually really sad how Ogata feels like he can't be a father anymore because he knows that he prioritises his current ideals and dreams more than his daughter. And I guess considering how long they've been separated and how much he has changed, it would probably feel awkward to try and be a normal father, but I guess at least through Ichika's encouragement, he's willing to try and reply to his daughter's letter of wanting to meet him. I think the reason why I've always liked Ogata is because he doesn't regret his actions. Like, he knows that he's killed people and that's why he doesn't want to see his family and get them involved with what he's doing right now, because he knows the gravity of his actions. But at the same time, his hatred for Fujii, the police and the whole mistaken arrest that led to such injustice for him and changed his whole perspective on life is something he can't let go of, and that's why it led him to Adonis and to fulfill his "new" ideals. He knows it's a path that will not necessarily have a "good ending" but he's willing to sacrifice everything for it, and I think that's what makes me attracted to his character. Anyway, LMAO at how insistent Ichika was on seeing young Ogata with a buzzcut playing baseball, absolutely hilarious when she was ready to tie him up with a rope and search his room😂😂 It's pretty sad to see that Ogata wanted to be like Isshiki and save people with his justice without faltering in this cruel world but he just wasn't able to do it because hatred was what fuelled him to move forward and not forgiveness or hope. But I'm glad he encouraged Ichika to listen to Isshiki's song and hear Kazuki's guitar, because seeing Ichika show her emotions again, even if just a little bit was nice...

Uno Shion

Aww, it's cute how much Shion cares about Suzune, but also so cute how he's embarrassed to say he likes chocolate🤣 It's nice that he's more cooperative than Suzune I guess hahaha. I never expected Shion to like to paint though, that's interesting. Anyway, it's pretty sad to think that the "outside world" was much more unforgiving to the Uno siblings, and that it was only after they joined this terrorist organisation did they get to feel safe and secure that they have shelter and food without people going crazy on them. In that sense, it's understandable how much more comfortable Adonis would be for them. Aww Shion and Suzune getting excited over a chocolate cake is so adorable. Them saving up to buy a home for themselves is so heartwarming, it makes me really want to cheer for them. I'm dying from how cute they are trying to feed Ichika the chocolate cake too because they really like her and think she's really kind like their mother was before. Shion buying a cheese tart for both Ichika and Suzune was sweet, she's like a part of his thought process when buying stuff for his sister hahaha. Lol when he just shoved it into her mouth instead of giving it to her like a normal person🤣 Lmaoo when Shion drew a portrait of Ichika stuffing herself with cheese tart🤣 To think that Shion was so serious about drawing that he's actually thinking about a future with it after the X-Day stuff..it’s so endearing.

Sera Akito

It must be difficult for both Akito and Ichika to talk to each other. Just seeing each other's faces would make them remember the past and compare it to the present, making their whole encounter just...painful to watch. It's so like Akito to hide that he dislikes shiitake mushrooms so that it wouldn't inconvenience Ichika and make her remove it from the cooking menu. Lmaooo at Akito being so scared of bugs, enough that Ichika has to call cockroaches dark fairies to make him feel more at ease🤣 I'm sure Akito must be hurting too, but his consideration for Ichika above himself really makes my heart feel so warm. Awww, my heart swooned when Akito said his ideal type was Ichika! If only there was an Akito route~ Anyway, I didn't expect Akito and Soda to really interact but lmaoo at Soda having spent millions of yen on in-game stuff, Soda is right though, gacha rates are cruel😭😭 Aww, it was so cute how honest Soda was about wanting to have defeated the boss with Akito instead of dumping him and killing it himself, since what Soda values is playing together with other people. So, Kazuki was stabbed by a guy who was influenced by Adonis into taking revenge against his bullies or something, and I guess Kazuki was killed when he tried to step in? Honestly, I feel terrible for Akito. He was already feeling doubts and guilt over getting revenge for his sister, but after experiencing Kazuki's death, he must hate his choice for joining Adonis even more than before. It honestly broke my heart to see Akito break down like that not knowing how he could atone for his sins in causing Kazuki's death. His heartwrenching screams really cut me and made me tear up from all the pain Akito must have been bottling up all this time. Akito will always be my favourite side character, I think his pain, his feelings and his emotions were portrayed so well.

Sanjo Keisuke

Aww, Sanjo's favourite food being ramen is very him, kinda hahaha. I can't imagine a 7kg bowl of ramen and having to finish that in 30 minutes😱 On the other hand, Sanjo being into arcades is kinda unexpected, lmaooo at Ichika thinking he would play the crane games😂 I didn't think about the fact that Ichika is a former cop just like him now, I wonder how he feels about that or whether he even cares😅 Lmao at Sanjo seriously answering Ichika what his type of woman is and then even describing the body shape with sound effects😂 I can't believe Ichika just tickled Sanjo and made him laugh like crazy, I would have liked to see that😆😆 I think it would have been so nice if Ogata was Sanjo's boss, I feel like their values and ideals of justice back in the day would have matched well since Sanjo probably desired something "pure" back in the day and hoped to be a part of an organisation that helped people, and Ogata was always helping people already, so they would have worked well together. It's just sad that they both got betrayed by their ideals of what the police should have been to them and others.

 The idea that you can't feel any fear because you don't value your life is a pretty interesting and saddening thought. Maybe because I get that feeling sometimes. I agree with Sanjo, Zero definitely doesn't truly care about those ideals of saving the weak that he keeps spouting, he's not like Mikuni, and that's also imo the reason why Zero believes that he and Mikuni will never truly understand each other. Ichika and Sanjo eating ramen together is so cute lol.

Mikuni Rei

Lmao at Zero calling Mikuni an old man for liking fish, disliking carbonated drinks and other junk food because they're not nutritional hahaha. Otherwise, nothing much to say tbh, Mikuni has always been a rather bland character to me? I like him, but at the same time I don't because even though it's interesting to see that he actually has "noble" goals compared to Zero, the fact is that Mikuni as he himself said has been told that he's a "saviour" of sorts, and I think that really exemplifies the type of person Mikuni is. Someone who believes that he can and wants to "save" people in his own way as if he is someone above them all, but at the same time, he is very apparently flawed exactly because he is like that. He's not someone who truly understands the people "below" him and he also doesn't seem to perceive that as something that can be helped, and that's why even though his goals are "noble", he's not really noble at all. But it doesn't really change the fact that Mikuni is kind in his own way though. Mikuni eating shrimp crackers is so cute😂

Saeki Yuzuru

To be honest, I've always liked the chill policeman Saeki, and I personally think Zero likes that version of himself too. I feel like he always enjoyed just talking about stuff with Ichika during their drinking charades, and had fun visiting her. But at the same time, I feel like because of the existence of Adonis and Mikuni, Zero never really allowed his negative emotions to be "accepted" in order for him to move on, so instead it just continued piling up inside to the point of indifference towards the world and others imo. Anyway, it's sad, seeing Zero and Mikuni happily play chess together. They really look like two brothers just having fun in their own way. Hearing them say that they've been doing this since they were kids makes it all the more saddening when they realised that despite how "close" they were to each other, they never really understood each other. In a sense, I feel like in the end, both Mikuni and Zero use Adonis as a way to get the things they want and feel like it's one of the only ways they can do it? I mean, I do feel like Mikuni treasures his relationship with Zero more than Adonis or anything else, because when it comes down to it, I feel like he tries really hard to understand Zero by trying to see things from his perspective and hanging out with Ichika, the one that Zero thinks understands him best and the one Zero likes the most. On the other hand, Zero seems to use Adonis as a way for revenge of his mother and as a way to vent those emotions and scars he got, but at the same time Adonis also granted him Mikuni (a brother), and it gave him opportunities and power.

Zero definitely loves Ichika in an obsessed way, probably the only way he thinks he can love someone, since he doesn't want to become "weak" like his mother was. So if he felt anything like love, he would prefer it to be a love that would destroy him, because in a sense I think I can understand that sentiment of wanting the person you love to solely focus on yourself and no one else, whether that is hatred or whatever emotion doesn't matter, because being the entire focus of someone else's is a sort of "love" to enjoy, so I don't blame Zero for his twisted "love" lol. Especially since you can tell how much he has always enjoyed his after work beers and just chatting with Ichika. I quite enjoyed their little date walking around reminiscing the past and discovering new things they missed out on, now I really want to eat crepes🥲 The ending where Ichika kills Saeki is pretty sad though. Seeing Saeki the most relieved and happy he has ever been is probably what made me kinda happy for him though. He still sucks, but like Ichika said, I can't hate him, because it was true that he did reduce the sadness of many (whilst creating sadness for many others too though) and at the core, he was like in a sense a guy who consumed so much sadness from everywhere around him, always in pain, always sad despite his appearance, and thinking that makes it difficult for me to truly hate him.

Overall, I like the Adonis route! Initially, I was a bit sceptical whether it was really necessary and whether it would be interesting at all but I really loved bonding with all the executors. Seeing more of the human and emotional sides, seeing them warm up to Ichika and become friends with her really made me enjoy the "what could never be" part of it all. I think I especially loved Akito's because of how emotional it was tying into Kazuki and everything. But I also really enjoyed seeing the different sides of all of them. It really makes me wish Ichika got an individual route with like Akito and Sanjo and Ogata because I loveee them🥲🥲

Overall Review

I definitely enjoyed CxM: Unlimited much more than I thought I would! In the beginning, Sasazuka and Okazaki's routes kinda made me wonder whether I really wanted to continue this, but I'm so glad I got through them because I enjoyed Enomoto's, Yanagi's and Shiraishi's routes a lot! If I ranked them, I probably liked Shiraishi's the most, then Yanagi, Enomoto, Okazaki and then Sasazuka. It's definitely what I wanted in a fandisk, which is more fluffy romance and just bonding with all the guys even more, and I absolutely loveeee the potential romances with Yoshinari and Minegishi, they were so unexpectedly nice. Definitely no plot but that's okay since it's a fandisc and I think it fulfilled really well what its goal was when it comes to more romance in the story haha. 8/10! I'm definitely going to miss the characters, I'm so attached to Enomoto and them lol.

[kishimoto-did-us-dirty]

Naruto Arts School AU

Reposting bc I love this post and bc I can lol

Character

- major

description

Naruto

-Drums

okie nobody can deny that our main boy over here is a loud soul, however, he can also carry a damn good beat that compliments his band mates’ music really well. Tbh, he sucked at music to begin with and had trouble matching rhythms and listening to his band mates when they played, however he eventually became a really good rhythm maker.

Sasuke

-Guitar (lead)

He’d be assigned to the same band as Naruto, and that’s how they met. This boy is a damn good guitarist y’all, but has attitude problems™, and used to not be able to deal with Naruto’s haphazard beat making, thus perpetuating a rivalry between the two. He constantly feels overshadowed by his elder brother Itachi, a piano major.

Sakura

- Dance

Ya girl fucking demolishes every single dance routine. Initially starting out with a focus on ballet (pre-shippuden in canon), our pink headed queen soon realized that she wasn’t getting the full experience of what it meant to dance. Her point shoes were her loves, however they hurt and nipped in places not just physical. She realized that she didn’t want to be pigeonholed into a genre of which she would be inhibited by standard, and rather to dance so as to forget technical perfection. Thus, what would partner with post-shippuden Sakura in canon, Art School AU Sakura got into hip-hop. And bitch, she goes hard. A lot of the other girls who she used to dance ballet with admire her for her absolutely BODYING her dance routines, but also for never sacrificing her femininity to dance and not taking BS for being a girl who goes so hard in a male-dominated genre. (Some people believe that hip-hop is heavy hitting and a little metaphorically “dark” so to speak, which Sakura is not. So obviously I expect a little disagreement regarding this, however if you look at people like Delaney Glazer or Kaycee Rice, that is how Sakura would dance).

Hinata

- Creative Writing

Shy and bookworm-like, Hinata can write the best poetry, romance and adventure pieces out of all the creative-writing majors. She’s especially good at writing character relationships and development, and has such a subtle sense of intelligent wit in her writing, that if you blinked you would miss it. However should you catch it, you’re sure to chuckle. Her only struggle is that she tends to drag on in important scenes, stretching them against the regular flow of the rest of her writing. Needs validation for her writing through an IV drip.

Kiba

- Drums OR Photography

Drums for obvious reasons (loud and obnoxious), although ruff boi looks good with a camera, too. Great at landscapes and street photography.

Shino

- Creative Writing OR Photography

I could definitely see Shino having fucking beautiful handwriting, and being a beast at writing anything within the sci-fi realm. I could also see him doing some journalism, and writing for the school paper. He’s very good at the logic of his sci-fi books and coming up with logical but enrapturing stories, that intermingle knowledge and mystery. He’s a very specific type of read, however, and may not appeal to all, however if you enjoy anything similar to Star Wars or Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy, then Shino is your author. If this doesn’t float your boat, though, try photography-major Shino. He can get the best angles of bugs he sees, and has an extensive portfolio with entomology-related snapshots.

Ino

- Dance

Like Sakura, she, too, began with a focus on ballet, however began to branch out into contemporary ballet a little later than Sakura. This is another reason why Sakura switched her focuses, as she and Ino had always had a fierce rivalry for dieting (ballet dancers are pressured to be as thin as possible) as well as battling for technical perfection when they were ballet focused. As the two grew, Ino focused more so on contemporary, but can certainly do some hip-hop with Sakura every now and then, just as Sakura occasionally takes a contemporary class with her. The two still have a rivalry, however, just not to the previous extent as when they were actively competing against each other. They’re more like sisters.

Shikamaru

- Guitar (bass) OR Creative Writing OR Architecture

Smart boy’s a tricky one. He would either be a bassist, a mystery and historical fiction writer, or, of his school offers it, be great at architecture. Idrk.

Choji

- ermmmmm….. maybe graphic design? Tech theatre (props)? Vocal???

Choji is hARD dwnccnpc (that’s what she said). I could see him behind a computer screen, animating and designing games/covers/posters or whatever. He could also do something in theatre, but I don’t think he would do anything up on stage. Something like props would suit him. He might do something in music, tho???? Can he sing???? Help???

UPDATE: Choji is a band kid. He plays tuba or some shit. Big boy got big lungs.

Tenten

- Dance

Always has been, and always will be a hip-hop dancer. She wanted to be like Tsunade, a legendary dancer and followed in her footsteps, taking up hip-hop. (that’s why Sakura focused on hip-hop, too, because Tsunade mentored her and taught a few of her classes, too). Tenten is fast and can keep up with any beat. Not only is she a great dancer, but she’s also athletic, and does track and field (cross country), football, and softball at another school too, since the arts schools doesn’t offer it. Overall great dancer with styl. She’s really looked up to by some of her underclassmen for her cheery, but badass style and skill.

Lee

- DANCE (hip-hop, too)

It’s sweat. It’s burn. It’s energy. It’s Lee.

Neji

- Violin

First chair violinist in his freshman year for the school’s philharmonic orchestra. He be extra like that.

Gaara

- Guitar (bass)

He had a lonely childhood with neglectful/abusive parents, and rock music really helped him with that. Emo music is emo and often made fun of, but the songs have messages and Gaara related, so self-taught himself the bass guitar to help cope, and bring him closer to the music that salvaged him.

Kankuro

-Art

Specifically sculpting. For obvious reasons.

Temari

- Acting

Girl can make you cry with some of her monologues. Total lead. Has a seriousness in her acting that makes her believable, however can falter on the less-serious roles. She may also double-major in whatever Shikamaru does. And she’s better at it than him.

Itachi

-Piano

Boy could play any etude at age 7. Performed at Carnegie Hall when he was 10. And no, he didn’t pay to play there. The hall invited him. Began composing at 9. Has perfect pitch. Owns international awards. If he’s not at school it’s because he’s traveling to play for crowds. He excels at classical and baroque, however has an ear for romantic, and enjoys playing/composing pieces either written or inspired by romantic pieces. Enjoys Schumann, Debussy, and Tchaikovsky. Hates modern classical music, though. Can only take cinematic pieces composed by people like Williams, however can’t stand Prokofiev at all. He does like modern music, though, so long as it’s outside of the orchestral/classical music realm. He likes R&B. He would have liked to do film with Shisui, particularly producing, however his parents pressure him with piano, so he helps Shisui with student films and projects outside of school (will probably pursue film after graduating, tho).

Shisui

- FILM / VIDEO PRODUCTION

Fight me on this!!! THIS BOY IS SO GOOD AT CINEMATOGRAPHY MY FILMMAKING ASS CAN’T EVEN. AS SOMEONE WHO IS IN LOVE WITH FILMOGRAPHY, TRUST ME, SHISUI HAS IT™. THE IT™. HE’S GOOD AT EVERYTHING. CINEMATOGRAPHY. DIRECTING. SCREENWRITING. GRIP-WORK. EDITING. PRODUCING. HE’S SUCH A FILM NERD TOO, AND WATCHES OLD FILMS ALL THE TIME. HE’S JUST TOO GOOD AT IT. DOES STREET PHOTOGRAPHY TOO. HE’S OVERALL A GENIUS WITH CAMERAS. Does film with Itachi outside of school and teaches him, and the two are overall geniuses at filmography. They want to start their own studio together (they do, and it becomes huge). He becomes a leading director, while Itachi becomes a producer and directs sometimes too.

Sasori, Deidara, and Sai

Guess.

Kakashi

- Saxophone

It’s the only thing that suits him and it suits him so well. Has suave.

Obito (omfg his arms y'all)

- Not to say drums or anything, but…. drums.

Narutard 2.0. But he also dabbles in other areas of music. Like, he can also play guitar and sing. He’s also pretty good at music production. Makes R&B sometimes. He wasn’t always the best musician but proved to be a late bloomer, and really harnessed his potential. Tries to be as suave as Kakashi and his saxophone. He isn’t.

Hashirama

- Vocal

OkaYYYYYY. VOCAL GOD. CAN DO RIFFS AND RUNS AND HAS PERFECT PITCH. ALSO THE SWEETEST GUY??? WAS A CHAMBER SINGER AS A FRESHMAN. EVERYONE LOVES HIM, GOOD BOY ENERGY.

Likes to belt.

Madara

- Piano

Total prodigy, but hates classical music. Once was accompanist to Hashirama for a solo vocal performance and hasn’t been left alone since.

Tobirama

- Viola or Cello

Some sort of string instrument and takes it very seriously. Probably plays cello because violas are violas and that’s lame (if you know, you know). Has almost as many awards as Itachi and Madara, but hates his usual piano accompanist, Izuna.

Izuna

- Piano

Also a piano god. The uchihas breed them. Hates being accompanist for Tobirama. They’re secretly best friends though, don’t tell anyone.

Karin

- Tech Theatre.

Idk why. Probably started out with props and made her way up to TD (technical director) in senior year.

Suigetsu

- Tech Theatre

Fucking hates theatre kids. Assistant TD. Karin hates him.

Jugo

- Visual Art

Paints landscapes and nature. Really good with oils and gouache respectively.

Yamato

- lmao Trumpet.

Met Kakashi since they both play brass, but boy he ain’t got that suave. That’s why he plays trumpet. Lmao he plays the fucking trumpet anjdwcnojdnn.

Rin

- Vocal

Sweetest voice and could also play the acoustic guitar when she sang. Died in a car accident junior year. Kakashi was at the wheel when they got hit by a drunk driver. Obito saw the whole thing.

Kurenai

- Visual Art

Can create dream like paintings that almost seem like illusions.

Asuma

- Cello / guitar

Used to play cello because of his parents, but loves to play guitar. Can sing but his voice is raspy from smoking.

Gai

Who the fuck do you think teaches dance?

Jiraiya

- Guitar (lead)

Used to major in lead guitar. Sucked at first. Probably has a couple, casual Grammy Awards (they’re actually not that hard to be awarded with, The Recording Academy award many people outside of mainstream media. My school has a few). Now teachers as head of the Band department at this school.

Tsunade

-Dance

Legendary dancer. Probably toured with a few famous people. Now teaches. Mentored Sakura, and mentored Ino but for a shorter time.

Orochimaru

- Idk, didgeridoo, or some shit

Definitely a wood wind. Flute maybe??? Teaches now but no one knows what he does. Pedophile. Has a thing for Sasuke.

[kikis-writing-world]

Yooooo congrats on your followers!!! You deserve every bit, and your celebration idea is amazing!! If I could request one myself, I’d be super grateful 💖💖 I’ve got the About link at the top of my blog that tells most everything about me but here’s a short synopsis: I’m introverted, like making people laugh, enjoy watching horror movies or creepy shows, and write as a hobby! I always try to make people feel welcome, I’m a hopeless romantic, and always try to be as kind to people as I can. Anyway, congrats again on your followers, I can’t wait to see what you come up with! 🥺💖 - ScribbledGhost

@scribbledghost thanks so much!!! I had to think for a minute to myself. Obviously I see your name and think Whiksey... but is that personality based or just because that’s who we talk about? But I gotta say, the more I thought about it you know what vibes I got? Ezra. I can imagine the two of you having a nice, quiet night in together. Watching horror movies, he’d encourage your writing and offer help (when asked of course. He would be the king of “what’s another word for...” Hopeless Romantic? Yeah, this man would take you on such unexpected but romantic dates. Dinner and a movie? Nah, you’re going stargazing while you roast smores over a camp stove.

As for your trope? Reading through your introverted, computer science major, creepy moving loving bio... You’re getting a mythological creatures/Cryptid AU.

You’re kind of the town weirdo, but not the kind that people are scared of, just the kind that people know “we go to her when the unexplained happens.” You have volumes and tomes of random things that couldn’t quite be explained. People come to you with their problems and sometimes they just need it off their chest, and that’s enough. Sometimes you tell them to hang garlic by their door or add ginger to their tea.

So when this strange man stumbles into town, claiming to be on the hunt for cryptids, everyone points him in your direction. He tells you about his hunt, about the time he saw a Chupacabra as a child and he’s been enthralled ever since. He knows a lot about them, but you know more. Even when he challenges you on your knowledge, you spin around and pull out the books to cite it and prove him wrong. It doesn’t take long until he’s smitten with you. 

He wanders off in his search, but every few weeks he’s back. He’ll borrow some books, do some research, ask your opinions, and take off again. You kinda miss him when he’s gone too. One of the times he takes a smaller book he didn’t mean to take but must have fallen in his pile. He starts reading it and realizes it’s all your handwriting. Your own stories. He starts trying to find more to take with him on the road when he goes.

Eventually, he asks you to come with him one time. You do. The time you two spend together only brings you closer. You stargaze together at night, pointing out familiar constellations to each other. You sing along loudly to the radio as you drive down long stretches of highway. Eventually he tells you that your funky little shack feels more like home than anything else he has going.

(And if you wanna be extra cheesy, maybe the night you two finally admit your feelings to each other you finally see Mothman or something lol and come on, that’s a whole ass sign right there)

Post with the rules and possible tropes here. Join in the fun!

[rqs902]

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enyu’s mom calls him "公子哥" is he rich or is this a JOKE LOL and his mom is at a bar IM CRYING HAHA 

i just get a feeling youku eliminated shiwei for dramatic effect... 

but aw xue en crying over weihao and mxy saying star master kids are all worthy to lin mo 

L O L i was gonna be like oh thats nice enyu’s dad asked about his friends, he’s really been paying attention but then he starts throwing these

L O L I SEE WHERE HE GETS HIS REALNESS FROM HAHAHHAHA

LOL NOW HE KNOWS HOW IT FEELS

omg xikan wanting to call luo zheng!!!! im grateful theyre still close, theyre doing such different things now

awww mubo !!! being all supportive and protective of zuo ye 

hHAHAHA omg fan yu talking on the phone to renyu is so cute, so expressive with the gasp when renyu says they just recorded elims and then the AHHHH and OH MY GOD when he says he and zaixi were eliminated and the ALSKJLAKS and loud sigh when renyu reveals he just tricked him hahahaha theyre so cute omg can fan yu pls show up at the next perf, id die

lin ran’s “new world new me” im cry

lol renyu’s getting roasted by his team mates but at least they didnt really ditch him 

what is this set up anyway? theyre given a mission to leave, so theyre allowed to run around... but not? who planned this lol youku......

LOL jin fan tryin to reason why theyll be ok going to guangzhou 

did their group just get special permission bc director li hao?

hahaha ayyy zhan yu jumped first, you go child! not surprised somehow that he’d love it

lin mo’s group went to the same place? LOL but also they seem so much more under control LOL such a guai group 

LOL WHY ARE THEY SO LOUD HAHAHAH i dont think ive ever seen people that loud on a roller coaster LOL 

LOL why am i not surprised enyu is the one carrying xzx 

i cant with xzx and his heelys omg

leave it to csp to relate bungee jumping to some great deeper meaning for zlj’s personal growth hahahah but good on the kid for going through with it. interesting that zixin said he sees himself in zlj so much

HAHAHHAHA THIS FACE

when reminded he’s the hormone representative his face changed so fast im crying 

ycw is laughing his butt off and i love how it says “children’s playground” in the background

when ycw gets thoroughly ignored

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA OSCAR’S SSHHHHHHHH AND XUE EN TELLS HIM TO WATCH HIS “LANGUAGE LANGUAGE” HAHAHAHHA 

i just realized theres an english speaking line in this group :’) syh, xue en, oscar 

awwwwwwwwww them all planning to sing him happy birthday on the dot and setting it up so he can be at the top at that moment awwww thats so fun

LOL the way that oscar cursed his way to the top and is sweating so hard LOL the poor kid omg HAHAHHA

aw he can tell syh drew the card

LOL ITS OKAY OSCAR I STRUGGLE WITH READING TOO 

get you a friend like ycw who’ll tell you that you can decide how to pronounce words right, just because its your birthday 

struggling to read xue en’s handwriting LOL 

HHAHAHAHHAHAHA HOW DOES XZX RECOGNIZE IT’S HUANG ENYU BY FEELING HIS PECS HAHAHHAHA

i feel the need to just say huang junrong looks so adorable in his bright yellow outfit hahah

there’s two types of kids in this group: hjr and enyu screaming their butts off, and lin mo and xzx wallowing in regret of their life decisions

hjr and enyu always saying its too short when the ride ends LOL

lin mo talking real talk over dinner about their feelings BC HES A REAL LEADER and knows how important it is to address this. these concerns are obviously very present in his mind, even when theyre out having fun to relax, and he’s still trying his best to figure out how he can help them and motivate them. 

makes sense that they would include enyu interview clips bc hes surely spouting the real talk, but i think its interesting its mainly him and lin mo getting screen time. 

enyu would be the one to speak up and say something when lin mo is trying to talk to them though. i think theyre both right though, im guessing lin mo is in part too nice, bc he doesnt feel comfortable enough with them to be as strict as he normally is, bc he knows they have reason to not be motivated and he feels bad for them. but at the same time, he brings up a good point that they themselves need to have their own motivation. it cant just be him putting in effort. and i HUGELY respect that he is telling this to them straight up bc its a hard conversation to have, esp bc im sure he wants them to like him as a friend. but i respect that he knows if they have problems they have to air them out bc lack of communication will be too costly. 

momo is lucky he has someone like enyu on his team who’ll actually talk to him with real opinions rather than just hide in fear of disrupting the status quo. literally enyu is the one voicing that he doesnt want takeout and he doesnt want to stay up late, and other people agree, but the surprise on lin mo’s face just tells you that he wouldnt have even realized these are things that are bothering his teammates unless they straight up told him, and thankfully enyu did, bc lin mo thankfully is reasonable and willing to change his habits for the sake of the group TO HELP THEM. hes willing to do anything he can to help them, as long as they tell him what they want from him. huang enyu’s lesson in communication, dont let people guess, just tell them straight up 

its interesting bc its clear enyu respects lin mo a lot, says he has the experience and the skill and the right to yell at them to get it together, but hes still not afraid to tell lin mo he thinks lin mo should be more strict with them. and then i respect lin mo for not backing down when being criticized and for strongly insisting that they need to put in effort themselves too. he cant force them to do anything they dont want to do themselves. they themselves have to want to do well. 

lin mo is really out here taking care of his group of children and leading them and helping them and looking out for them and im just floored by his leadership yet again. i really hope they can pull it together. 

lin mo is a dork and stanning him leads to mostly either second-hand embarrassment or disappointment. from qcyn to snzm, it just always feels like he’s being mistreated and taken advantage of and stepped on, and sad things just keep happening to him. but then he has these moments where he reminds you of why he’s worth stanning. why it’s worth waiting for something good to finally actually happen. and why he deserves those good things. its just so nice to see hes getting some appreciation and recognition for the things he does. at least youku let us see his leadership in action. 

aw 

totally not surprised akey is there to drive the conversation for their group’s real talk time. tyger co-leader translates clearly hahah

LOL LI HAO TOTALLY FORGOT THE SNZM DANCE LOL

im like not surprised xikan’s group got the least adventurous adventure bc hes not afraid to show how serious hes taking this competition, but also somehow still feel like hes not getting better treatment relative to being number one?? maybe im just overthinking 

honestly all things considered im okay with this being the debut group

i mean i love ycw and zry but i feel like this makes sense to me.

this looks scary lol lin ran wyd

but yea even the way they framed the cliff hanger for next week... why do i just feel like xikan is not being treated with the respect he deserves?? 

anywayyyyyyyyyyyy for 少年營業中

LOL gz’s impression of zlj watching scary movies sounds so accurate im ded

zixin is so adorable!! i love his outfit too ahhah 

LOL gz’s sassy response to zlj responding when xue en says he’s gonna talk about a cute trainee with highly regarded visuals 

why am i totally not surprised xue en didnt get scared but zixin got scared AGAIN lol 

why do i suddenly get the realization that we hardly ever see ycw and zlj interact 

it just feels weird to see them together even tho they obviously have overlapping friend groups lol....

poor shiwei isnt even here and they keep talking about him LOL at least theyre not even really roasting him LOL ycw and yzx too nice for that

im just DYING at the cto gege’s laughing SO HARD HAHAHA 

and ycw’s face LOL 

xue en’s laugh made this ep worth it LOL

wow should i be happy that lin mo is finally in the next ep of this side show, or sad that jin fan never got to appear and itll be the last ep :( im also excited to see lin ran again! wow its weird to think that snzm is ending soon, it felt like the first 7 eps were like a slow burn and now its a mad rush to the end 

[bazypitchandsimonsnow]

Watford Cove

Chapter 5: not so typical love song

Rating: T

Genre: Fluff/Angst

Word count: 5365

Chapter: 5/13 [All chapters]

Summary: Baz goes to Simon's house to work on the project.

Read on AO3

AN: So as some of you may know/remember, I work at an amusement park. I was supposed to work today but it's literally raining all day so the park is most certainly closed. Which means I can post early! Hooray! This is personally one of my favourite chapters. I enjoyed writing it quite a bit, though I had trouble writing Baz's emotions. The boy is a weird self destructive mess and it's difficult getting that across lol. Finally, we learn a bit more about Simon. Plus some fluff, of course. Hope you all like it!

Tagging: @wayward-son-61​ @lunar-lover394​

———————————————-

“Where are you going?”

I lazily turn towards Mordelia. She’s standing next to me with her arms behind her back, rocking on her heels. The picture of an adorable, unassuming child. You can hardly tell she's a brat.

“Out,” I reply.

“Mum says you go out too much.”

I do feel a bit bad about that. Daphne does legitimately care about my well being. “Well, you can tell her I’m not going out drinking. She can stop worrying.”

“Drinking what?”

I sigh. Right, she is still seven years old. “Nevermind. I’m just going to do schoolwork at someone’s house. I might be home for supper or not, I don’t know.”

“Okay. When can I ride on your motorbike?”

I smirk and buckle up my helmet. “Let's wait until you can reach the pedals. Then we’ll talk.”

Mordelia pouts pathetically. I ruffle her hair, which only makes her pout become an impressive scowl. I flip down my visor with flare and rev my engine. I give Mordelia a salute before driving off down the country road.

Simon’s house isn’t that far from mine, actually. Maybe a twenty minute ride, the way I break the speeding laws. I zip down the hill at ludicrous speeds, and keep that pace up across the country roads until they become moderately paved. Soon I’m on the sparse outskirts of Watford Cove, not the bloody fucking wilderness like mine. A much nicer place to live in my opinion.

Only a few minutes in, I arrive at the address Simon texted me. The house is actually quite posh. It’s not the terrible extravagance of the Pitch mansion of course, but it’s nice. Red brick, white shutters, some fancy curtains. There's a silver mailbox at the end of the drive with "Salisbury" painted on it in annoyingly bright green letters. The handwriting looks childish, as in a child probably wrote it. The initials "LS" are under the words like an artist's signature. Hm, interesting.

I park my bike in the driveway then make my way to the oak door. The doorbell chimes deep and loud. There’s some steps and soon it swings open. Oh. This is...not Simon. Because Simon is not an older greying-blonde woman.

This woman reminds me of portraits my own grandmother. She was also tall, straight backed, and respectful looking. But my grandmother never showed an ounce of happiness. This woman has a very kind smile on her face though, her wrinkles more from the expression rather than age.

“Hello,” she says kindly. “May I help you?”

“Um, I’m here to see Simon.”

Both her blue eyes and smile widen. “Oh right, Simon said you were coming. Simon! Your friend is here!”

There’s a crashing sound, like someone falling on the ground. Rapid steps come down the stairs until a beaming Simon jumps to the bottom.

“Hi Baz,” he says breathlessly. “Glad you found it.”

“I have Google Maps, Salisbury,” I deadpan, but with a smirk.

“Oh yeah, right, let’s go.” He motions for me to follow him inside. I nod to the woman. She looks up towards the stairs, hands on her hips.

“Simon,” she says with mock accusation, “are you not going to introduce me to your friend?”

Simon freezes halfway up the steps and whips his head around. “Oh right! Sorry, Gran. Um, Gran, this is Baz. Baz, this is my grandmother, Ruth Salisbury.”

I reach out my hand. “Pleasure to meet you, Ms. Salisbury.”

Her brows rise up in surprise. I suppose she didn’t expect politeness from a guy wearing a black Ramones shirt, leather jacket, and ear piercings. But she still takes my hand. “Pleasure to meet you as well, Baz. You two have fun.”

Simon scoffs. “It’s school, Gran. We’re not supposed to have fun.”

“School can be fun if you try, darling. Maths has made me very good at cards.”

“And you fleece Mrs. Jones every week at your games, I know. We gotta go.”

“Yes yes, go do your schoolwork. Don’t break anything.”

Simon and Ms. Salisbury smile good naturedly at each other as we go upstairs. He runs at a breakneck pace, nearly tripping over the green carpet. I follow more slowly, looking over the walls. Unlike my house, there are many personalised things. Landscape art, funny knick knacks, and some pictures. There’s one of Ms. Salisbury with an older man, who I assume to be her husband. Next to that, there’s the couple again but in their younger years. A boy and girl stand in the foreground, both as blonde as Ms. Salisbury. The last one at the top of the stairs is obviously the two kids as teenagers, grinning with arms around each other. The woman looks weirdly familiar. Her freckles, they remind me of...stars.

“Baz, c’mon!” Simon yells.

“Yes, yes, I’m coming. You’re quite bossy today, darling,” I say teasingly. I hear his gasp, then fall into a coughing fit.

“I-I just want to start working.” His voice is still a bit hoarse.

“Alright.”

I saunter down to the hall Simon went down. I step into his room, and...well, I’m not sure what else I expected. The bed and desk look old, but everything else is new. The floral blanket, the multicoloured rug, the IKEA shelf filled with comics, all quite fresh. The walls are bright blue and covered in posters. Troye Sivan, Lana del Ray, Hayley Kiyoko, and assorted pastel coloured art. Equally pastel clothes are spread out across the floor. The whole room is so...bright. It sort of hurts my eyes. I’d prefer everything a bit darker. I guess I like Simon’s colour palette in small doses, just not all in one room.

I look up. Simon’s at his desk. I finally notice that he’s wearing a new shirt. It’s like the sunflower one, but pink and with bright red rosebuds instead. It works with the copper undertones of his hair. He looks perfect in it.

“Pretty,” I whisper.

“What?” Simon asks sweetly.

Fuck, I hope my face isn’t as red as his shirt right now. “Um, nothing.”

He looks confused for only a moment then shrugs. “Okay. I woke up late and forgot breakfast, so I'm starving. Want some of this? For brain food and stuff.” He holds up a mint aero bar. My smile is instantaneous.

“Sure. Mint aeros are my favourite.”

He grins to his ears. “Mine too!

I sit in the chair next to him. He breaks off a large piece for me. We eat the chocolate at the same time, but Simon gets some around his mouth. (Of course he's a messy eater.) I want to slowly lick it off his cheek then kiss him so hard we run out of breath. I quickly look away to resist temptation. “So, you got the project up?”

“Oh yeah!” He turns back to his laptop. I see that the desk is covered in scribbly note paper, candy wrappers, and nail polish bottles. He’s got almost every colour in his preferred pastel shade. He’s actually wearing the pink one right now. It matches his shirt. I have to keep myself from making an out loud comment again.

“So I’ve started making the powerpoint,” Simon says, bringing up the application. “And I think we should start with Watership Down. The actual place. Cause it’s like, the most important setting right?”

I bite my tongue, because I...disagree. Strongly. Watership Down should be in the middle, because it is the end of their first journey and the beginning of the next. It’s important to illustrate that, I think. But he doesn’t know I would think that.

“Sure, cool,” I mutter.

“O-Okay. Then, uh, for characters, we should start with General Woundwort.”

Wrong, very wrong. He’s important, sure, but others should be discussed first. Maybe Hazel, Bigwig, or Fiver. Fuck, Bluebell should come before Woundwort.

“Yeah, that’s fine.” I hope there isn’t a strain in my voice.

“Awesome! And I thought for analysis, we could talk about the archetypes and shit.”

No! Archetypes are Jungian! We’re supposed to do Freudian! Oh, fuck it.

“Give me that,” I hiss, snatching the laptop away. Simon blinks at me confused. I type furiously, barely thinking really, just spouting out the knowledge I have onto the slides. Some of the stuff is very smart but not well put, so I redo the wording. Not good with words, just like Simon said. I don’t know how long it takes, but when I’m done, I put the laptop back on the desk with my arms crossed.

“There,” I say curtly.

Simon looks through it, jaw falling open wider and wider with every slide. I shift away. Christ, this is embarrassing.

“Holy shit,” Simon whispers. I wait for him to start laughing, or yelling because I change his work. But he just turns to me with big awe filled eyes. “You’re...really smart.”

My cheeks must be as red as tomatoes now. I scoff and look at the Hayley Kiyoko poster. “Yeah, whatever.”

“No, no, I mean it, Baz. This is bloody brilliant! You’re super smart!” His brow furrows. “Why do you never show up to class? You could be getting As in like, everything.”

I press my lips together, digging my nails into my bicep. “I don’t care about school or grades. That’s all.”

“Really? You just, don’t care?”

“No, I don’t.”

Simon sighs, and I hate how close to pity it sounds. I don’t need his pity or anyone else’s. I made my choice a long time ago, and I don’t regret it. Well, I mostly don’t regret it. Certainly don’t regret because of where I’m going when term is done. Not at all...

“So, uh,” Simon says rapidly, obviously trying to break the forming tension, “I'm also mostly done the drawings. I’ll scan them later and put them in the presentation if you like them.”

He pulls out a sketchbook from his desk and flips through the pages. He shoves it in my face once he’s found the right one, making me jolt back in my chair. I snatch it from him.

“Christ, Salisbury, let me actually look,” I chuckle.

“Oh, sorry, sorry.”

I look at the picture, and it’s my turn to be awestruck. It’s...amazing. Rough, raw, a bit messy, but amazing. He’s captured Watership Down in just pencil. Sure, it’s just a hill, but Simon has drawn it from the perspective of the rabbits, so it looks looming and majestic. There are little shapes at the top, and I realise it’s a few of the rabbits looking out into the distance. A cute and perfect addition.

“Wow, this is incredible,” I say with absolute reverence.

Simon blinks at me. He seems genuinely surprised. “R-Really?”

“Yes. You’re very talented, Simon.”

“Oh, uh, well, thanks. I’m...really glad you think so.” He fiddles with his fingers nervously. “There’s a-a couple more if you want to see them. Three pages after.”

I flip through a few more pages. There are a lot of rough, abstract sketches. They look more like feelings than specific things. Waves of smoke, angry scribbles of pencil, over and over. He must do that a lot. Eventually, I land on what I think I'm supposed to see. It's obviously Fiver, based on the photo he showed me. But it's not an exact replica. It's a gorgeous interpretation. He's emphasized Fiver's large, sad, all knowing eyes. You can almost see everything terrifying and wonderful happening in them. To say I’m impressed doesn’t really cover it.

I go to the next page, and I immediately recognise it as a scene from the animated movie. When El Ahrairah, the first rabbit, was given physical gifts to survive predators from their fictitious god Frith. This one is in colour, and somehow even more stylised than the movie. El Ahrairah himself is a deep rich brown with grey loops, the sun is swirl of orange and yellow, and the sky is ripples of vibrant blue. The same colour as his eyes.

“These,” I say, “are perfect, Simon.”

Simon chuckles nervously, fiddling with his fingers. “I’m glad you think so. Think Miss Possibelf will approve?”

“If she doesn’t, she’s completely incompetent. And I don’t think that’s true.” I absentmindedly turn to the next page. It’s the start of another unfinished drawing. It’s of someone’s face. Someone with sharp cheekbones and dark wavy hair. Wait, is that-

Simon snatches the book and quickly flips it closed. He hides half his scarlet face behind the leather cover for a long moment, until he nervously coughs and lowers it. “Okay, good,” he stutters. “Glad you think so. I, uh, guess we’re done now. Man, we really could just do most of this over text.” Mother of God, must he keep doing that hair tuck? It’s torture.

“I suppose that's true," I chuckle.

"Wanna hang out?" He asks very quickly, gripping his sketchbook with ghost white knuckles.

I shouldn't. Fuck, I really shouldn't. I should go home, avoid him, keep my toxic self far away from Simon. But fucking hell, I'm weak for this boy, and just weak in general.

"Sure." My voice stays impressively neutral. "Any ideas?"

Simon twists his lips, looking around the brightly coloured room. His eyes drift down to my hands and he smiles mischievously. “I could redo your nails.”

I look down at my hands. Well, my nails are definitely chipped. I forgot to repaint them a few days ago. I look back at him with a raised brow. “I doubt you have a bottle of my ‘Chanel Le Vernis in Gris Obscur’, Salisbury.”

“Nah, definitely no Chanel. But I got some pretty good stuff from the drugstore.” He lifts up some obviously cheap but pretty nail varnish bottles. They’re all his pastels colours though.

“Not really my style.”

He shrugs. “Maybe you’d like to try something new?”

I bite the corner of my mouth. The colours hurt my eyes a bit. But he looks so adorable with that hopeful grin and glint in his eyes. I sigh, and put my left hand out. “Very well. I want your darkest shade though.”

Simon literally bounces with excitement. “Awesome! So, uh, how about...” He messes around with the bottles, almost dropping a few. Eventually he settles on a pale blue. “This one, and,” he holds up a unused looking dark grey, “this one? We can alternate.”

“Hm, sure. That grey doesn’t really match your style, though.”

He shrugs. “Eh, came with the set. Glad it did. It, uh, matches your eyes.” He looks pointedly at the desk instead of my face. That’s good though. I don’t want him to see the blush that’s spread across my cheeks. “Now gimme your right hand.”

I do as he says, placing it on the desk. He puts down some paper towel then pick up his nail polish remover and cotton balls. I have the exact same supplies at home. He reaches towards my hand, but quickly hesitates. He’s shaking actually. I can’t blame him. Every time we’ve touched, it’s been accidental or very quickly. This is different. This isn't a shoulder pat or playful shove. This is long and sustained and purposeful. And I may not be showing it, but I’m just as nervous.

“I can take it off myself,” I say quickly, reaching for the bottle. But Simon pulls it away.

“No no, I’m good. Just sit there and look...badass, alright?”

My lip twitches up. He’s so sweet. I leave my hand where it is. “Very well.”

Slowly, shakily, he slips his finger under mine. His skin is callused but still much smoother than my rough palms. It feels weird, but very nice. Almost electric. He dabs the cotton ball on the nail, rubbing off all my high end black nail polish. Huh, they look odd. it’s been awhile since my nails have been clean. After wiping them dry, he starts on with the blue. It’s a nice colour. Not something I would pick, but I can see the appeal. Simon drags the brush against my nail slowly but surely, making sure the coat is even.

“Hm,” I say, “you’re good at this.”

“Thanks,” he chuckles. “Self taught. A lot of trial and error, y’know? Took me ages to figure out how to do my right hand.”

“I learned from YouTube videos. Those makeup gurus know their shit.”

“Huh, smart. Oh, y’know what.” He stops painting and spins in his chair. Even with his back to me, I now he’s fiddling with his phone. Suddenly, the honeyed voice of Lana Del Rey is resonating through the room. He spins back with a grin.

“Your weird music is necessary?” I raise an eyebrow for sarcastic emphasis. Simon chuckles.

“Yeah, helps me concentrate. And it’s part of my continuing effort to convert you to good music.”

“Oh, is that your grand mission?”

“Yup! Slowly pull you away from all those screamy boys with bad haircuts and towards the beauty of Troye and Lana.”

I scoff. “You keep trying that, darling.”

He gives me a shy but sort of playful look from under his long eyelashes. “I certainly will...darling.”

Oh shit. I hope my complexion hides my blush enough. I smile back and try to look calm, hiding the storm in my chest.

We switch between chatting and companionable silence. Though Simon is never truly quiet. He hums along with the song, or makes noises of contemplation and frustration while trying to get my nails right. His hands slowly get less shaky, which helps. When we’re not talking, I take the opportunity to just watch his expression. How he sticks his tongue out in concentration, and his brow pulls together, and his face adorable pinches together when he gets something wrong. He always tries his best to fix it though, even with his clumsy fingers. It’s really sweet. Just like him.

I'm so unbelievably fucked.

“And...there!” He pulls back with a flourish. “Topcoat and everything. What do you think?”

I examine my hands. Huh, the blue is actually nice on me. And he’s right, the grey matches my eyes. It’s very well done. Maybe black isn’t the only colour I should use. I look up. Simon is staring at me wide eyed, chewing on his lip, leg jittering.

“It’s wonderful,” I say. “You did a marvelous job, Salisbury. Maybe you have a future as a nail artist.”

His nervous expression breaks, thankfully. I’ve found I prefer his grin to his genuine agitation. Blushing smile? Adorable. Wide eyed leg jittering? Not so much. “T-Thanks. Maybe...you could do mine sometime?”

Our eyes meet, and there’s no deception there. He’s always so genuine. It’s amazing. “Sure," I say before thinking. "If you can learn to like black.”

She shrugs. “Well, if you can learn to like blue, I guess I can try black.”

He grins, and I grin back. There’s a stretch of silence. It builds between us, making the air thicker and thicker. I’m torn between what I want to say and what I should. That I want more from this, more than just winks and smiles and “darlings”. But I know it can’t work. Simon should know that. I should tell him, all of it. But...he'll hate me. For not telling him about Switzerland, for using him like a plaything, for being an utterly stupid reckless prick. Can I handle him truly hating me?

“Simon, love! It’s nearly supper! Are you and Baz done your work?” Ms. Salisbury’s voice carries quite well. It jolts me from my depressive pit. Simon sighs and leans out towards the door.

“Yeah! Be down in a minute, Gran.” He looks at me, and I swear I see genuine sadness. “Looks like it’s time to say goodbye.”

I try to hide my own disappointment. “Yeah, looks like it.”

He bounces out of his chair, then offers his hand. I inhale sharply. Did not expect that. But after only a second of hesitation, I take it. He pulls me to my feet with ease. I’m still disturbed by how much his strength excites me.

“C’mon, let’s get you back on your motorbike, Pitch.”

“Should get you on it one day,” I say under my breath.

“What?”

I straighten up, hands in my jacket pockets. “Nothing, Salisbury.”

We walk down the stairs quickly. Well, Simon more jumps down them. He’s a never ending ball of energy. Ms. Salisbury is at the bottom.

“How was the work, you two?” she asks sweetly.

“Wonderful!” Simon chirps. “Talked about bunnies and stuff, and Baz let me do his nails.”

My brow shoots up to my hairline. I can’t believe he’s so open about this. If I told my father or Daphne the same, they would not say anything at best and lecture me at worst. But Ms. Salisbury looks positively elated by Simon’s words. “Oh, marvellous. Finally you can practice on someone other than me, love.”

Simon rolls his eye. “Yeah, like you don’t like it.”

“Of course. But it’s good you have another guinea pig. May I see your work?”

Simon looks at me in silent question. I shrug in response, then hold out my hand for his grandmother. She flips the glasses down from her head. “Amazing job, Simon. You’ve gotten so much better. And it looks great on you, Baz.”

“Thank you, Ms. Salisbury.”

She pulls away, waving dismissively. “Please, call me Ruth. Now, Baz, will you be staying for dinner?”

“Uh.” I turn to Simon. “Am I staying for dinner, Simon?”

Simon’s face turns red. “Oh, sure, if you want.”

I shrug. “I’m certainly in no rush to get home, and if it’s no trouble.”

“Oh it’s none at all,” Ms. Salis- Ruth says, waving her hand dismissively.

“Then I guess I’ll stay for supper.”

Ruth claps her hand once loudly. “Wonderful! Let me put out another setting.”

She saunters off to the kitchen. I decide to actually take off my jacket and boots and stay awhile. Simon leans in close to my ear, making my pulse spike.

“Hope you like roast beef,” he whispers. “It’s the only thing Gran knows how to cook well. Grandpa was a chef, and she’s been on her own since he died, so she’s never had to cook anything else. But she’s been learning more since I’ve got here.”

I shrug like he does. “I think I’ll live.”

“Good to hear.”

Simon leads me to the small dining room table. When I go to the left side, Simon grabs my hand and drags me to the right. I jolt slightly. Wow, that’s bold for him. Not that I’m complaining. I sit next to him as Ruth brings out a platter of delicious smelling meat and mash potatoes. Simon immediately shovels the food on his plate, licking his lips like a starving animal. I on the other hand take only a few slices delicately just like my mother taught me. But Ruth gives me an odd look.

“Are you not hungry, Baz?” she asks.

“Um, no, I am,” I reply slowly.

“Then please, take as much as you like. I always make a lot because of Simon’s endless appetite.”

Simon rolls his eyes, speaking with a mouth full of roast beef. “I’m a growing boy!”

“Growing monster more like it,” Ruth chuckles.

Huh, okay. I decide to be polite and take some more. Dinner proper starts, and it's...weird. My family is never this talkative at supper. We’re mostly silent and sullen. But the Salisburies are the exact opposite. Ruth and Simon chat, though Simon has trouble responding through all the the food in his mouth. (The boy has zero manners. It’s adorable.)

“So, Baz,” Ruth asks, facing me, “how’s school for you? I’ve only ever heard about it from Simon and Miss Penelope.”

No one’s ever asked my opinion of school either. I shrug. “It’s alright. Not my favourite place to be, of course. I think English is my favourite subject.” I tap Simon’s foot under the table. His breath hitches slightly, and he flashes me only a small smile. But it’s enough.

“Glad to hear so. Simon loves English too. He’s always eager to get to first period for Miss Possibelf’s class every morning.”

I flick my eyes over to Simon. His cheeks are flushed as he bites into his roast beef.

“Hm, glad to hear I’m not the only one who loves literature.” I let my voice drawl a bit, hopefully enough for Simon to notice but not Ruth. He doesn’t look up from his food, but I feel his toe tap my foot. And once again, it’s enough. Everything Simon does seems to be enough for me.

“I’m just glad Simon’s adjusting to Watford,” Ruth sighs. “It’s not easy moving schools most of the way through the year.”

Simon sighs in return. They sound almost exactly alike. Though Simon is more exasperated. “I told you, Gran, I’m fine. My grades are much better than last term.”

“There’s a good reason for that.” Ruth aggressively stabs her beef, and Simon looks sad as he nods slightly. This is the only crack in Ruth's kind demeanour I’ve seen all day. It’s strange, and the curious brainiac in me wants to know more. But the sensible part knows to just keep eating my food.

“Hey,” Simon chirps, “did I tell you about the kid who gave himself a wedgie in gum class yet?”

Ruth’s playful smile immediately returns. “No, I don’t believe you have.”

“Oh man, it was hilarious! Baz you’ll love this too.”

I lean my cheek into my palm. “I’m sure I will.”

Simon launches into the rambling anecdote, using mostly weird noises and illustrative hand gestures instead of words. Ruth and I both laugh along genuinely. This is the first time I’ve enjoyed a family meal in ages. It may be unusual, but it’s certainly not unenjoyable.

Soon enough, dinner is over, and Ruth brings out dessert. They’re sour cherry scones from Pritchard Bakery. Simon takes three immediately and starts slathering butter all over them.

“You like scones?” I ask mockingly.

Simon nods, scone crumbs all around his mouth. “Uh-huh. Gran got me some my first day here. They’re absolutely incredible.”

“My cousin owns the bakery, you know.”

His eyes go impossibly wide. “Really?! Could you get me some free samples?”

I shrug, a playful smile on my face. “Maybe.”

“Simon, you eat enough, you don’t need any more,” Ruth kindly berates. Simon frowns.

“There’s never enough scones, Gran.”

Ruth and I exchange an understanding look. Maybe I will bring him to see Cousin Pritchard before I go though. Something to make him happy before I’m gone.

Soon enough, Simon’s eaten all the scones, the dishes are done, and it’s my time to go. I’m a gentleman, I know when to take my leave. Simon and Ruth walk me out of the house.

“It was lovely having you, Baz,” Ruth says. And I have to admit, I’m a bit taken aback. Most parents and/or guardians aren’t this friendly to me. Dev and Niall’s parents barely acknowledge my existence nowadays, and they’ve known me since I was a baby. It’s a warm feeling I never thought I’d miss.

“Thank you for having me, Ruth,” I reply, smiling graciously.

“Anytime. Simon, feel free to invite him over again.”

Simon smiles sweetly at me, cheeks unabashedly scarlet. “Yeah, okay. Maybe we should meet up before the presentation on Wednesday?”

I nod, hoping my cheeks aren’t as bright. “I think I’d like that.”

Because I would. I regretfully very much would.

“Awesome! See you later!”

My lip twitches up without thinking. “See you.”

I get my helmet on. I don’t rev my engine as loud as usual to be respectful. Simon waves with his entire arm, while Ruth’s looks more like the queen. I salute in return. (That seems to be my thing now. I’ve embraced it.)

As I drive back towards my home, my mind stays with the Salisburies. With nail polish, roast beef, and a sense of peaceful happiness that lingers in me long after the house is in the distance.

I get to the Pitch hill and just sit there, looking up at the looming little bastard. I know what I’m supposed to do. Go back to all the misery there. But fuck that. I turn to the left, not back towards Simon’s, but at least somewhere my father isn’t. Somewhere I can keep this feeling for a little longer. And maybe get really pissed.

———————————————-

“Basilton! Where have you been?!”

If I didn’t already have a migraine, I’d assume my father’s voice had just given me one. Going on a two day bender will do that to you. I stop walking but don’t turn around. Honestly, I look like a wreck right now, and I don’t want him to see it.

“Away,” I say curtly.

“Away where?! We haven’t seen you in days! No calls, no mail. We’ve been worried sick!”

I groan and turn on my heels finally. To my utter surprise, he looks genuinely concerned. His eyes are wide and his hair is disheveled, like he’s been running his hands through it. Huh. Actually worried about where I’ve been. That’s a first.

“Well, I’m home now,” I sigh. “Happy?”

“Certainly not.” He puts his hands on his hips like a pissed off school teacher. “I’ve been getting calls from your school. You’ve missed almost all of your classes, including tests and projects. I thought we had an agreement.”

I whip around, scowling with as much menace as I can muster with a hangover. “No, you gave me an ultimatum. And I refuse to be threatened into doing what you want, Father dearest.”

I start stomping away again, but we Grimms refuse to not have the last word. “Are you sure you haven’t just been...distracted, Basilton?”

I stop halfway up the stairs. The tone of his voice could imply many things, but I have a sinking feeling I know what he means. I chuckle, shaking my head. “Daphne told you about Tuesday, I suppose.”

“That you brought a boy over to our house without our knowledge? Yes. And I find it a bit disrespectful that-”

“That I what?!” I yell, probably louder than I should, considering it’s late at night and I have four younger siblings. “Dare to be gay?! Sorry it’s harder to ignore my sexuality when I’m actually acting on it.”

My father takes a deep breath, something he always does when he’s trying to keep his slipping composure. “Basilton, that is not what I meant.”

“Oh really? So you’re actually okay with me bringing guys around? Maybe I’ll start having big gay nightclub parties in the receiving room.”

I can see my father losing his cool. Bit by bit, his perfect British man composure is slipping. It’s the effect I certainly have these days. “That would not be appropriate, Basil. And I merely meant that maybe this ‘Simon’ is distracting you from your studies and causing your poor grades.”

For a second, I don’t know whether to laugh or be furious. Fire bubbles in my gut, my fingers curling on the bannister. Yup, let’s go with righteous fury. I stomp down the stairs and push my face into his.

“No,” I growl, “Simon is not at fault. You are. You are the catalyst for all the things I’m doing now, Your bullheadedness, your pride, your prejudi-”

“Oh for God’s sake, Basil!” He roars. “For once in your life take some goddamn responsibility for your own actions!”

I step back a bit. I haven’t seen him this outwardly angry in a year, but he’s practically seething. If he was the kind of man to throw a punch, he would have just clocked me. But instead he just stares me down in an attempt to intimidate. That won’t work.

“Fuck you,” I mutter, turning on my heels and stomping towards the door.

“Where are you going?” he calls after me.

“Out!” I turn to glare at him. “And I’ll be back when I feel like it!”

I make sure to slam the door very loudly, hoping my message is clear. I know exactly where I want to go. And who I want to see.

———————————————- 

AN: Is Baz being a total brat here? Yes. Is his bratiness sorta justified? Also yes. Things are complicated. And finally we meet Ruth! I loved reading everyone's comments speculating about Simon's home life cause this was planned from the start lol. But why is Simon living with Ruth? Well, that will be explained shortly. Tune in next time for answers :)

Chapter title is from "Alfie's Song" by Bleachers.

[megbox]

tumblr survey no. 4

1. What is something in your life that you feel hopeful about right now? My potential as a community-level social worker. I have been loving my practicum so much, and I feel so valued there. It is doing wonders for my professional confidence, and I feel that my experiences I am currently having here are going to serve me so well for my future career.  2. What was the last thing you worried about that turned out better than expected? Moderating workshops at BLC last weekend. I am not great with public speaking, did not understand the moderator role very well, and barely got an orientation to what was expected of me but it ended up being actually fairly interesting and a good networking opportunity.  3. Name somewhere you are planning on visiting in the near future? I am hoping to go Jasper at some point in the new year to visit my Danish friend who is moving here for the winter season to teach snowboarding.  4. How often do you go grocery shopping and how much food do you usually get in one go? It depends. I have been a lot better at making my own meals this semester, because I spend less time at Famoso. I am still not great at planning for like, a week or more’s dinners. I tend to go to the grocery store, buy what I need for a single recipe, and don’t get anything else. 

5. What is a meal you eat extremely often? Or do your meals & food choices vary a lot? Porkchops with tzatziki, steamed broccoli and rice. Cheap and easy to prepare and fills you up.  6. When was the last time you felt unable or unwilling to speak your mind to someone? Honestly...... I do not tend to hold back in this regard.  7. What was the last thing you changed your mind about? My respect and appreciation for people in my life who have assumed certain leadership roles.  8. Who was the last friend you saw, and what did you do together? I saw Maeghan, Madison and Cayley last night. We had what we affectionately call a “blob hang” which is basically where we all get together at someone’s house after our respective work days, drink wine and bitch. 

9. Who tends to show up in your dreams? Do you ever wonder if you appear in anyone else’s dreams? Whoever I am sleeping with at a given time. I’m sure I do. Dreams are weird that way. 10. What is something you wish you could say to someone who is no longer in your life, or something you wish they could know? Sometimes I do wish I could talk to Zara and ask her what went wrong with her friendship to all of us in high school/what the unspoken words between everyone are. I don’t think there is anything I wish she could know. She probably knows most of it.  11. Instead of flat earth, what do you think of the simulated earth theory, that we’re basically all just a giant computer program or virtual reality? I used to think about this when I was young. I would entertain the idea in my head that we are all just spectacles in a lab somewhere that is part of the “actual” universe. Obviously, we have no evidence for this. It’s just funny to think about.  12. What worries you most about your future? That my lack of clinical experience in practicum will prevent me from getting well-paying jobs in social work, and that changes in our political climate in Alberta and Canada will see an even further tightening of the social services/not-for-profit sector that forces a lot of budgets to get cut and less jobs will be available.  13. What is something you do to feel better when you’re scared? Scared? Um. That one’s kind of hard to beat.  14. Who do you feel you can count on the most in life? Is there anyone you wish you could count on more? My family.  15. What makes you trust someone? When was the last time someone broke your trust? Hm, I don’t know how to really explain it. I just feel like I can with some people like if I feel comfortable talking to them. 16. When was the last time you shared a secret with someone, and how did they react? What even are “secrets” anymore? I told my friends this morning about a sexual experience I had recently that I thought I might keep secret but they just laughed and we moved on.  17. Are you more likely to give advice or to ask for it? I do both fairly equally, I think. 

18. When was the last time you felt totally lost, figuratively speaking? How about literally? The last time I felt totally lost was shortly after I finished my degree requirements for the journalism program and had to apply for jobs. I was not used to not being in school, I had no idea what I was qualified to do, I wasn’t taking care of myself, and I needed to pay my bills. It was awful and very stressful. In terms of literally being lost - god, I don’t know. Maybe when Sydney and I were drunkenly trying to find the train station downtown on Canada Day. LOL.  19. In what ways are you emotionally strong? In what ways are you emotionally weak? I am emotionally strong in that I can handle/actually often instigate confrontation of issues. I like things to be out in the open, being discussed and addressed as they come up. I am emotionally weak in that when I begin to like someone I become extremely reliant on their affection to build up my own self-worth, and I do not handle rejection or extreme criticism well.  20. What is the strangest book you have ever read? How did you find out about it? Maybe A Scanner Darkly. Connor told me about it.  21. Do you prefer to watch movies or tv alone or with other people? Is there anything you refuse to watch alone? I’d much rather watch alone unless it’s a fun ass show like Queer Eye.  22. What was the last thing you broke? How about fixed? The zipper on these boots I bought from H&M! FUCK, I’m so mad about that actually. They are the perfect boots. The last thing I fixed was... I cannot recall.  23. Is there a sign or symbol that means a lot to you for whatever reason (eg. seeing certain animals or birds, 11:11 or other repeating numbers, syncs, butterflies, hearts in nature, etc)? Not really.  24. Do you have any personal ghost stories or paranormal experiences? No! So lame. I’m sure if I thought harder about it, I could conjure something up (pun intended) but I am actually REALLY easily scared and if I start reading about this kind of thing too much before bed or something, I’ll get like... sleep paralysis or some shit like that. It’s not good. My mind is weak.  25. What do you get complimented on the most? My handwriting, my eyes and my hair.  26. What is something unusual that you find attractive? Someone tall and super super skinny.  27. What time do you tend to eat your first meal of the day? And your last? The current routine begins with a cup of earl grey tea and 2-3 fried eggs with salsa around 8:45am before I catch the train to go to practicum and/or school! Last meal - who knows. Between 7 and 8pm.  28. What was the subject of the last video you watched? LMAO it was like a history of Kelly Ripa and Mark Counsuelos’ relationship.  29. When was the last time you traveled out of town, and where to? To Korea! In May.   30. How would you describe your overall aesthetic? I literally wear the same outfit every day. Black tights, black skirt, some kind of coloured top and black boots. Hair that is never done and bags under my eyes and giant backpack. Done & done. 

[britneyshakespeare]

blush, cute, kitty, love, prince, rainbow, smitten, snuggle, sparkle, sunshine

i fell asleep before i could answer these bc i’m a sleepy baby. whoops. but asks aren’t milk they don’t go bad if you leave em out overnight so here we go

blush; what was your stuffed animal as a child?

I had many. In fact I still buy a lot of stuffed animals. But the most important was a stuffed turtle I got when I was 9. It’s kind of a sob story but I was in and out of the hospital constantly from late 2008-early 2009, and my first visit while I was lying weak from a procedure in the emergency room, my mom went down to the gift shop (it was Children’s Hospital Boston, which if you’ve never been there–and I hope to God you haven’t–it’s huge.) and picked me up a few toys that evening. One was a stuffed turtle I named Shelley (i’d like to say it’s for percy but obviously i was not that cultured when i was in fourth grade). I brought her to every subsequent emergency room trip, including when I got sick again in middle school, and AGAIN a few years ago. I’m not gonna take a picture but she’s lying on my bed w me right now. Yep. Shelley’s the one.

cute; what did you get on your last birthday?

Lol I was in rehab at the time actually. I didn’t talk much while I was there (social anxiety makes it like that) but one girl who overheard that it was my birthday asked me “are you gonna go home and do something special?” and I was like “idk maybe my mom got a cake or something.”

No I haven’t taken my birthday that seriously in years. It’s just kind of another day for me. I think that last time I did anything was back when I was a little prodigy recluse (I was sick again and out of school at the time) when I turned thirteen, I had lunch with my twin sister (whose birthday it obviously also was) and our best friend. When I turned sweet sixteen it was the first day of spring break and I stayed in my house and ate a bag of white chocolate on my bed because I had gotten my heart properly broken for the first time. And this year I received a lot of lovely messages. That was it.

kitty; what’s your favorite time of the day?

It depends on my sleep schedule. I like staying up late and being by myself (as long as it’s not forced staying awake by insomnia) and waking up early and being by myself.

love; what is your favorite season and why?

I know it’s sad but I never gave a damn about the weather. I don’t like any of them. I find winter the best because everything’s dead and no one expects me to go outside for fun.

prince; how would you describe your handwriting?

Just… messy. My fourth grade teacher preferred my cursive handwriting to my print (because my print was messy and my cursive was restrained and pain-stakingly practiced) and she used to just make me, in particular write everything in cursive while everyone else could write in print. So because of that I started drifting towards more cursive-style connecting my letters even when I was writing in print. And now it’s like… I don’t even know if I have the right to say I write in print ever? Almost every letter is connected, but it’s not proper cursive. And I know proper cursive. Sometimes I switch to it for just a word if it’s easier. I haven’t written “of” in print since I was like thirteen. When I was ten I was going through this really intense “I need to make myself girlier so people will like me” phase and in between buying like 20 tubes of lip smacker and shopping at justice, and convincing myself that if I just combed my hair instead of brushing it it would look all straight like my best friend’s and Jane Asher’s, I tried for a few months to write in that stereotypical “girly handwriting” that’s very blocky and straight. Yeah. It naturally shifted back into its course. I wish I could take pictures of my own handwriting for my poetry blog because I think it would look very Personal but the problem is it’s just so illegible what’s the point.

rainbow; what was the last line of the last book you read?

The last book I finished was either rereading Lady Windermere’s Fan for the thousandth time, or the Tempest for the first. I can’t remember because I’m always reading more than one book at a time. Of the Tempest is this lovely monologue (linking it to Marianne Faithfull’s reading from the end of her 1995 album A Secret Life because she’s lovely and actually does a great version of it, but my rant about how the songs from the Tempest are performed now to be “modern” will wait for another day).Of the Fan, it is Lady Windermere exclaiming “Ah! You’re marrying a very good woman.”

smitten; do you collect anything?

Anything of mine that might be called a “collection” is really more a result of happenstance than purpose. My CD collection is mostly old stuff I’m meaning to sell by now, my DVD collection is mostly movies I’d watch w my sister, and comics are really only a thing I collect because that’s… just how you read comics. I have a bunch of old diaries from 2008-2015 and I don’t plan on parting w those, I guess they could count as a collection. Or all my poetry notebooks from over the years. But again, that’s just how ya write.

snuggle; what is your favourite candy?

I like chocolate of almost any kind. Cotton candy is also really good.

sparkle; do you wear jewelry?

Naah I have ADHD. When I was in my earlier teen years I always wanted to be one of those cool pop punk kids who wore like 10 bracelets all the time but 1) money, nah, and 2) I can’t stand to wear anything nonessential, that just, dangles there. I’ll get distracted. I can’t even wear long sleeve shirts wo rolling them up, without being conscious of it, no matter how much I try.

sunshine; do you prefer for things to be practical or aesthetically pleasing?

I wouldn’t say many of my habits are either practical or aesthetically pleasing. I’m a mess and not just one to look at. I guess it depends on what you mean by “practical” because of course I want things to be not-completely-useless but I do have an appreciation of aesthetics. Not that I practice a lot in real life though that’s expensive.

♡ cute asks ♡

[drybonesawaken]

A group of people wanted to share a journal together. So this week, I've been journaling (almost) every day, and tomorrow I'm gonna be passing it onto the next person.

It was kinda fun. Bit scary to put my thoughts out there - but not that bad tbh. I figured since I am not gonna keep the journal I should transcribe my thoughts somewhere, so here they are.

Yes, the math bits were included in the journal when I wrote. Just something fun I did. You can try to figure out if it means anything if you want :)

-

Maple 3.27.21

I don't like journaling .-. mah handwriting sucks, and pen ink takes too long to dry. Apologies If any of this page is smudged as a result ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ And no, Maple does not use anything but pen. When mistakes are made, and trust they will definitely be made, you see a lot of bleh <- that. I also missed like three words in the previous sentence, but it's messy to try to go back and put them in :( this is the consequence of writing when brain is running at negative mph... This may be two paragraphs of nothing, but honestly that's how my day goes, usually. Right now I'm listening to this audiobook to fill up my brain and stop it from thinking. It's quite interesting. I read the book back in middle school, and it's taking me on a trip down memory lane. I was listening to this earlier while playing tetris, too. I'm joining a tetris tournament tomorrow, so I've been grinding this week. Hopefully it goes well! It's funny how I spend so much time playing this game which means so little - but somehow, I find fulfillment in the emptiness that it brings me. Breaking personal records is such a meaningless ordeal, but somehow it's something I strive so hard to do. These days, PBs come once every couple of months. It's not worth it.

-

Maple 3.28.21

Today felt like I did everything and nothing all at the same time. I found out I don't like tetris tournaments. I hung out with some friends. I ate a big dinner. I made some choices I highkey regretted, yet couldn't stop myself from making in the moment. I spent some time sulking over said mistakes by cuddling with roommate. Very thankful for him - I definitely make him so uncomfortable LOL but he puts up with it because he knows touch is my love language. I was debating for awhile today over what I should eat for dinner (or breakfast or lunch or whatever you want to call it :') ) and I realized what I wanted to eat most was my own cooking. Unfortunately, I wasn't feeling like cooking, so I had to settle for something else, but this was kind of a wake up call: when's the last time I cooked for myself? hmmm... It's also at the same time pretty cool because less than a year ago, I was still at a place where I strongly disliked my cooking and only ate it because I had to. Crazy how things can change in just a year - my culinary skills must have improved a lot over last summer... I really need to get my car tires fixed tomorrow. I have time tomorrow. I had better go. If I don't, my car is gonna break.

How does one stop beating themselves up for their mistakes? I don't struggle with forgiveness, but oh how I struggle with forgiving myself...

1 + 2 = 4 = 2

-

Maple 3.30.21

Yesterday, we had to record something for Easter that took forever. It was not fun. I kept messing up. And my perfectionist self kept blabbering about wanting to redo certain things. Everyone was tired - it went so long - some people had exams; I can only imagine how annoying it must have been to hear me complaining about doing things again, and yet - and I hate myself for this - I couldn't help but keep bringing it up. Of course, being unsatisfied with the way I played, I volunteered to patch things up in post production. *sigh*, what a mistake that ended up being. Afterwards, I was tired and wanted to go home. Yet, because someone asked, and I guess I was a bit hungry, I decided to go get food with Junshik and Bryan. My ulterior motive was to talk to Bryan about buying cars, so I guess that worked out. But yikes, I only got 7 hours of sleep last night. - Today sucked. I'm realizing more and more that part of depression is the complete dependence on sleep. When I get not enough sleep, I'm not just fatigued: my life is just hell. I straight up no-showed to a meeting and apologized for it 8 hours after the fact (my excuse was that I feel asleep. Wow, something so embarrassing most people would find an excuse for it has now become my go to excuse. Rip). Went to a meetup because I didn't want to cancel - again - so that was fun (sorry if you're reading this. I lied when I said that I was ok :/). Life group was great I wanted to die but I was leading worship so I couldn't just leave. And oh yeah I just spent the last 4 hours after life group mixing that audio clip because stupid ol' me volunteered to do it asap yesterday. Tomorrow will be fun. I have 7 meetings/meetups from 9am to 8pm. I wonder how many I'll cancel last minute, or straight up skip...? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I hate ______.

-

Maple 3.31.21

9am to 8pm today was rough. It's kinda crazy - when I wake up, I knew it wasn't gonna be a good day...but I really needed it to be at least an okay day. And I think I somehow willed that into existence :O I need to try this again sometime. Didn't cancel or skip a single thing today! (Praise God!!!) After my meetings all ended, I had to tutor for another 3 hours until 11:30, too. That was draining. I also pranked a friend today - told her I was dating right after midnight. Oh I love April Fools. She's the only one I can consistently troll year after year. I also spent a considerable amount of time after midnight trying to figure out how to script Audacity in Python. Useless, sure, but it could save us sound people a couple of minutes every Sunday if I figure it out. This is what my degree is for :') Sleep is going to feel so good tonight.

5 + 4 - 7 = 2 + 1 11 + 1 + 1 - 1 = 6 4 + 2 = 3 5 = 2 + 2 - 3 5 = 4 - 1 - 2

-

Maple 4.2.21

I think my handwriting is getting better with this almost-daily practice =) This whole week has been busy-ness from when I wake up to when I go to bed. Hung out with people yesterday for the first time this week, and it was pretty tiring. I can't say I regret it though; I had a lot of fun and learned a lot about certain people. Recently, I've been noticing that people can tell when I'm tired a lot more obviously - someone on worship team who I only interact with on Sundays literally called me out for it. I'm finding that it just sort of slips onto my face, in such a way that I don't notice and can't even recognize it: I'm shocked every time it happens. Maybe it's because I've lost the will to live, so the lack of will to hide it came alongside as well. I accidentally let it slip that I've been brain empty to worship team today, and now there are even more people worried for me, some of whom I barely know. I'm such a burden :( Brain empty is honestly such a mood though. I have too many problems and not enough will to confront them. Better to just avoid. Yeah yeah yeah this is not healthy I know. I'll save doing things the healthy way for tomorrow :')

1 + 1 = 4 + 3 + 2 + 1 8 = 7 6 - 5 = 10 + 1 1 + 2 = 1 - 1

-

Maple 4.3.21

Today was supposed to be a more chill day, but it really wasn't... Forced myself to get out of bed for a meetup rather than cancel it. I think if I had cancelled it, everything else I had to do today would have followed suit shortly after.... It ended up being a 2-hour meetup, straight into 2.5 hours of tutoring. As much as they might have been pretty ok tbh, I can't say I enjoyed it. I was so dead afterwards. I wanted to cancel my dinner meetup so bad. But I had already gone shopping earlier today (during the first meetup) so that I could cook for him. And I knew if I cancelled it'd be another week before I'd have a chance. The food would have gone bad. So following 2 tilt-inducing matches of tetris which were supposed to be stress relieving (they were not), commenced 2 hours of cooking, followed by a 3.5 hr meetup. It was... haha... Did I enjoy it? Yup. Did I have a hella-thick mask on the whole time? Also yup. I'm so ready for a long hot shower and an early bedtime. Tomorrow is Easter. I'm not feeling very victorious...

1 + 2 = 4 - 1 1 + 1 - 1 + 1 = 1 1 + 2 + 3 - 4 = 4 - 1 - 2 + 1

[astelus]

Back To School

(By pet-diary // for all students, past or present. Answer & post to your blog. If you’re doing this tag for my giveaway, be sure to say so & tag me. Don’t just reblog the blank tag for the giveaway, If it’s too long, you can pass on some of the questions! 😅) I was tagged by @rain-symphonia so here goes nothing lol. 

📚 GENERAL QUESTIONS:

What year are you (e.g. senior in high school, senior in university…)? I’m going to be a high school junior as of 2017.

What is your major, or focus of study? I plan to major in an art field, probably something like Character Design. I would like to work on video game character designs, but as of now, I am not too sure yet.

Do you have a studyblr/studytube? Hmm, not really. I have a youtube account where I subscribe to only studytubes though, but I don’t really contribute to anything. I hope to one day though.

What do you think about studyblrs/studytubes? I am extremely grateful for their existence, as they help keep me focused and organized. Studyblrs/studytubes help me motivate myself to do my best in schoolwork!

Are you looking forward to going back to school? Yes and no. I am looking forward to meeting new people and improving my art in the AP Studio Art-Draw course, but I hate waking up early, and I know that I’m going to feel extremely stressed this year, which I am preparing for.

�� CAMPUS QUESTIONS:

What’s your favorite location on a campus? I really like the Japanese Classroom because that place holds some of the stupidest yet funniest memories. It’s also where I met @rain-symphonia and another good friend of mine called @banyanyaaaaaa and I am so grateful for both of their existences!!

What’s your go to place to hide out on campus (to be alone)? My hideout... I don’t think I have one? During school I don’t like to be alone, I have my alone time at my house mostly. During school I’m just like “LOVE ME”. Haha, just kidding, I don’t do that but I get my social interactions at school so I prefer to spend time with my friends.

Have you ever fell asleep on campus? Yes. I fell asleep in Global Studies once, and I apologized to the teacher afterwards, and he was totally fine and understanding about it.

Have you ever lived in the dorms/student housing? Nope~

What’s your favorite food to buy on campus? I don’t really buy food, but I do occasionally buy caramel ice cream/frozen yogurt. It’s delicious.

What’s your favorite food to bring from home? Hmm, nothing really, I just bring whatever my mom made for dinner last night (leftovers).

What’s something that makes your school special? Friends~  And also Japanese Class, I think that everyone in the class is close with one another, and at this point we’re sort of like a club, and everyone knows everyone. We’re like our own village really, and it’s really fun!

📖 STUDENT EXPERIENCE QUESTIONS:

Do you always do the assigned readings? No, not always. Most of the time I do, but sometimes I just don’t feel like it or I already know most of the information.

What was your favorite book you were assigned? Hmm, I found “Night” by Elie Wiesel really interesting, and the fact that it was all real made it even more of an experience to read for me.

What was your favorite school project?  I don’t think I have one, hmm.... I honestly like any project that’s art-based really. 

What was your most difficult assignment? As of now, the AP art project’s first assignment. We’re to color the paper black and draw our faces out with eraser. It was extremely difficult getting a picture with high enough contrast where there would be the lightest of the lights and darkest of the darkest.

Do you like working on group projects? Depends on what the project is and who the members of my group is. I have had a lot of group projects where I had to do everything by myself and it was exhausting and annoying. It’s one of my biggest pet peeves when someone doesn’t do their part in and assignment. 

Do you study better alone or with other people? Studying with the right type of people keep me focused and on track, but when I’m alone I am able to work quicker and more efficiently, so both have their benefits in different ways.

What’s a class that surprised you? A class that surprised me... hmm... I don’t think there is one? All the classes are relatively straightforward. There were teachers that shocked me though, some teachers are hilarious, but they just don’t care anymore haha. 

Do you sit in the front of the class or the back? I sit wherever I’m assigned or wherever I have the most friends.

Do you prefer readings or lectures? I like to have lectures where I take notes on the topics.

What’s your note taking style? I take bullet point notes where I just jot down main points and elaborate with sub-points. 

Do you prefer to take notes on paper or computer? I like to take notes on paper since I can remember information better if I write it down, and I can format it however I want.

Do you prefer music, or complete silence when studying? I can’t stand silence at times, especially with how loud my laptop’s fan is, so I prefer music either in a language that I can’t understand or just instrumental.

Do you raise your hand in class, or keep to yourself? I keep to myself most of the time. If I have better days where I’m more confident, I participate more. But for the most part I just like to keep quiet.

Are you usually early for class, or late? Depends, I try to arrive asap but some classes are really far apart from each other and I’m not athletic and have short slow legs.

Which semester/quarter do you prefer (e.g. spring, fall…)? I like first semester better since it’s usually easier, and fall has a bunch of events like halloween and everyone is usually more energetic and clubs still care about putting on good meetings.

Overall, do you like being a student? Overall, I don’t care really. I’m a student because I have to be, but it’s not a bad life obviously, and I’m grateful that I’m lucky enough to receive and education, but school sometimes makes me nauseous just by thinking about it.

Do you have anything you want to improve on for the new school year? Study habits, stop procrastinating, improve handwriting, and get better at art (color theory, proportions and perspective).

🎒 FASHION & BACKPACK QUESTIONS:

Do you carry a backpack or handbag to school? Backpack, handbags are too cool for me, and I don’t have any big enough to fit 2 textbooks, 5 notebooks, 3 folders, and a huge pencil box.

What’s usually in your school bag? Look above ^^

What are your favorite places to buy school supplies? Officemax or Target. Also Japantown if I am able to actually get there.

What are 3 essential items you take with you to school? Pen, paper, textbooks.

How would you dress for your first day back to school? Like how I always do, I don’t do much.

How would you style your hair for your first day back to school? Let it down.

Do you tend to roll out of bed, or spend hours getting dressed for class? Rolling in the deeeeeeeeeeep

*BONUS* 📺 FANDOM QUESTIONS:

What’s your Hogwarts house? According to pottermore: Slytherin. I have no qualms about it though.  What character would you be in Harry Potter? Um, maybe Ron, I’m funny when I don’t mean to be, and sort of dumb. I don’t know though, the characters in Harry Potter are all pretty intelligent, I’m a meme and a potato, sooooo.....

What character would you be in Mean Girls? What even is this question lol. Um, I’d probably just be one of the background characters? All the main characters have a really strong personality, I’m just more of of an introvert. 

🏷️ Tag someone: heyo @banyanyaaaaaa  love you~

[snoozingcat]

Rules: Complete the questions & say who tagged you in the beginning. When you’re finished, tag people to do this survey. Have fun and enjoy!

I was tagged by @kurowrites

1. Are you named after someone? Noooooo. Ha. But my dad did borrow my name from a girl he once dated. I mean. “Borrow.” Obviously I’m not giving it back.

2. When was the last time you cried? Yesterday. I saw this video where a girl met her new kitten and she started crying, and then I started crying, and it was ugly lol.

3. Do you like your handwriting? Yeah, it’s very nice.

4. What is your favorite lunch meal? Sandwiches!! I love them

5. Do you have kids? No. I have a dog and some plants.

6. If you were another person, would you be friends with you? Ugh, no. Haha. 

7. Do you use sarcasm? I’m basically one of those t-shirts that say “Me? Sarcastic? Never!”

8. Do you still have your tonsils? Yes.

9. Would you bungee jump?  Um... I’ll do anything once, I guess. I’m not sure how enjoyable I’d find it.

10. What is your favorite kind of cereal? I’m not really a big cereal girl, I guess. Honey Nut Cheerios? 

11. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Almost never. I try to avoid shoes with laces, though. 

12. Do you think you’re a strong person? Meh.

13. What is your favorite ice cream? Butter pecan, cherry chocolate chip, anything with a half ton of chocolate in it-- especially dark chocolate. 

14. What is the first thing you notice about people? Their sense of humor or my general feel for their intelligence, probably. I’m pretty terrible with names and faces. If they’re hot, I definitely notice that first.

15. What is the least favorite physical thing you like about yourself? This is, like, a weird question, right? My least favorite physical thing that I like? So, the feature on the bottom of the list of things I like about myself? idek

16. What color pants and shoes are you wearing now? Superhero pj pants and no shoes. 

17. What are you listening to right now? Barbie Princess and the Pauper playing in the background.

18. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Orange.

19. Favorite smell? Hmm. Lemon. Clean laundry. Clinique “Happy,” which is my mother’s perfume. Honeysuckles, honey. The first day of spring; the first day of fall. Coffee. Mango.

20. Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? Other than a spam caller.... my Aunt Robin.

21. Favorite sport to watch? N/A 

22. Hair color? Blonde-- although it’s gotten really dark since I cut it.

23. Eye color? Green.

24. Do you wear contacts? No

25. Favorite food to eat? I love most Mexican food. My mother’s cooking is great-- I love her chili recipe, her spaghetti, her vegetable soup, her squash casserole. I made her teach me how to make all of those. :P

And not to brag, but I make a killer bowl of nachos. Like, “still-delicious-reheated” good. That’s not easy to do with soggy chips.

26. Scary movies or comedy? I haaate scary movies, so comedy by default.

27. Last movie you watched? Barbie and the Diamond Castle. I’m not twelve, I just genuinely enjoy cheesy mass-produced movies aimed at little girls.

28. What color of shirt are you wearing? Kind of a dusty blue color? I don’t even remember where I got this shirt.

29. Summer or winter? SUMMER. I hate winter so much it’s difficult for me to actually quantify. Summer in Georgia is amazing-- everything is so green, and the summer storms are like god to me-- but if suffocating humidity isn’t your thing, you maybe should give us a pass. :P

30. Hugs or kisses? Hugs. Only animals get kissies from me.

31. What book are you currently reading? "The Master Switch: the Rise and Fall of Information Empires” by Tim Wu. It’s alright-- it’s assigned reading for my journalism class.

32. Who do you miss right now? My cat.

33. What is on your mouse pad? I do not own a mousepad.

34. What is the last TV program you watched? Uhhh... I honestly have no idea. Something on HGTV, probably.

35. What is the best sound? Cats purring. The wind in the trees. Jazz.

36. Rolling Stones or The Beatles? I’ve heard more from The Beatles but I’d probably enjoy Rolling Stones more.

37. What is the furthest you have ever travelled? Ummmm, Texas or Oklahoma. Which is depressing.

38. Do you have a special talent? I’m a fast learner, a good singer, and my hair never tangles. 

39. Where were you born? In America. Why, who’s asking?

I tag: @brandnewfashion @winona16 @eyeslikestarsandthesky @dawittiest all of you guys like dumb question memes, right? :P

[sapphicsurveys]

Have you ever given a public speech? Fun story -- I got nominated for a Pathfinder award in high school and gave an impromptu speech even though we weren’t supposed to. When was the last time you sat in the back seat of a car? Today. I can’t drive. When was the last time you had a checkup? A few months ago? Have you ever cried in a movie theater? Just a week ago, with Call Me By Your Name...it was absolutely a sensory overload, in a good way... Has a stranger ever stared at you in public? Always. Not in a horny way. In a creeped-out way. Have you ever had anything stolen from you? Not intentionally on their part...as far as I know. Starting in what grade were crayons excluded from your school supply list? High school. Were you heartbroken? No, I’ve always hated colouring (and handwriting) because I have an extremely unsteady hand. When was your last run-in with the police? One of my parents’ driving fuckups.  Are you a good sport or a sore loser? Sore loser. Do you read comic books? No, and never did. Have you ever been so emotional it left people speechless? All the time, the intensity of the things I feel scares people off sometimes. It’s not anger, I’m never angry. It’s like....a bunch of miscellaneous shooting colours and a cool splash of water. That’s how I’d describe my emotions. When was the last time you threw up? Last year. Do you intentionally sing poorly in front of people to avoid a critique? No. I always try. But I always believe I’ve failed afterwards. Do you force your way into conversations in which you are not involved? Too often. What did you/what will you do on your 18th birthday? Went to Cafe Tu Tu Tango and started my failed university experience. When was the last time you had a dream with a premonition in it? A few days ago, but I can’t remember what it was. Did it come true? I think it did? I can’t tell since I don’t remember the original dream. Have you ever seriously pretended to be clinically insane? I HAVE been clinically insane. I might still be. Are there any words you cannot spell correctly, no matter how hard you try? No. Do you know anyone with a stutter? Misha from Armenia!! LMAO it was adorable to watch interviews with him. With a lisp? Nope. Do you doodle more on page borders or on entire pages? Borders. Have you ever been in a newspaper? When I was 3, with this creepy-looking Easter Bunny. Have you ever been on TV? Yes, for a fundraiser event I was at. What was the last board game you played? Monopoly. Did you win? That game has no end in sight. When was the last time you tried to speak with an accent? Sometimes I do it for fun to see if people can tell if I’m faking it. What was the accent? An ambiguous one. Have you ever made up a word before? Yes. Did you get anyone else to use it? Don’t think so. Are all 4 of your biological grandparents alive? Only my maternal grandma, and I’d never met any of the other 3. What is/was your GPA? 3.0 in high school, TBA for first semester of college. When was the last time you used a flashlight? During the hurricane. When was the last time you went to a museum? It was either an art museum down here with my grandma or the Gugenheim in NY with my mom. Do you have anything from IKEA in your room? Nope. If you were watching TV now instead of doing this, what would you watch? TLC, they have the funnest, dumbest reality shows. Or truTV for Impractical Jokers. When was the last time you played MASH? Elementary school. *** You live in a capital city. You live in an apartment. You live with a roommate.  You drive your own car. You know how to ride a motorbike. You have a motorbike license. You’ve crashed a car. You’ve crashed a motorbike. You are twenty years old. You have half-siblings. You’ve been cheated on. You don’t want a relationship right now. You’ve broken bones in your face. You’ve had stitches. You don’t wear a lot of colours. You never wear open-toed shoes. You prefer shopping in person so you can try clothes on. You buy most of your clothes online for convenience. One of your favourite vegetables is broccoli. One of your favourite fruits is pear. You’ve volunteered for a concert or festival. You aren’t too good at drawing or painting. You are good at colouring, though. You always seem to have cuts on your hands. You almost always have two jobs. You’ve had a lot of jobs throughout your life. You love superheroes. Daredevil is your favourite Marvel superhero. You think Marvel is better than DC.  You watch a lot of movies and TV shows. You’ve been high on marijuana, but you don’t like it. You feel that drumming is what you were born to do. You live in a place where light pollution prevents you from seeing stars. You had head lice several times when you were a kid. You hated gym class in school, but like being active. You get bored very quickly if you don’t have anything to keep you occupied. You know how to edit and master music tracks. You eat more meatless meals than meat ones. (but I LOVE meat) Dark chocolate is your kryptonite. You collect keychains. You want to earn a Bachelor’s degree.  You often have issues with your back. You find yourself daydreaming about random stuff a lot. You smoke and wish you could quit once and for all. Your smoking habits have pissed off people you love and care about. You have a pet dog. You really value your sleep and can sleep for long periods at a time. You are good at keeping track of things in your own head. You’re proud of your own achievements. You live a comfortable life and you’re happy. *** Have you ever felt like you were being crushed by an invisible weight?: 24/7, although it’s not really invisible, because I know what’s causing it. Have you ever looked back and realized that it’s been ages since you cried?: No, I cry on a weekly basis. Do you ever wish you could go back to kindergarten?: Never. I would never turn back time. Do you have a ‘good side’?: Yes. Would you rather spend your whole life in the light, or in the dark?: In the dark, as long as I could see somehow. Like, in nighttime. Basically I’d rather have all night and no day. Do you have a good luck charm?: My online bestie. Has anyone ever sang to you, just for you?: Yes. What’s the longest phone conversation you’ve ever had?: *puke emoji* Is there anyone that you have trouble saying goodbye to?: Yes. Do your friends like the person you’re dating/crushing on?: I have a crush on everyone in the world. Do you care if your parents approve of the people you date?: It would be awkward if they didn’t, but it’s not a dealbreaker. If asked to pick a number between one and five, what number would you pick?: The previous person’s answer biased me, so I can’t answer this one. Do you use Skype to talk to your friends?: Only iTalki language partners. In your opinion is calling easier than texting?: It’s easier. I hate calling just to talk, but I prefer calling if I need to say or hear something important. I will hang up right after hearing what I need to hear. Name all the people you’ve hugged today: Mom. Is there anything that you want to say right now to someone?: I’ve already said my piece to everyone I can think of. If you married the last person you texted, what would your last name be?: It would be the same, LOL. Please don’t make me marry my parent. *puke emoji [2]* About how many times a day do you use the backspace button?: A million times. Actually, I used it just now. I make a lot of typos because I rush my typing. Are you allergic to any animals?: Cats, a little bit. Do you know anyone who smokes?: Yes, a lot of my mom’s friends. Do you usually spend your weekends out, or at home?: Out to dinner. Do you miss anyone right now?: Yes! How far away is your next birthday?: About 7 months away. Have you ever felt completely lost?: Yes, but then I always found my way back around again. What’s the stupidest question anyone could ever ask you?: There are an endless amount of those. Do you think it’s wrong for people to say 'retard/retarded’ as an insult?: Yes. What swear word do you use most often?: "Fucking” as an adjective, probably. Have you ever had to go to the police department?: Thankfully not. Have you ever lived through a hurricane?: I live in Florida. What do you think? Have you ever wished you could disappear?: Yes. Can you name all the candidates in the previous presidential election?: Yes. Do you eat organic foods?: Sure, but I don’t consciously think about it. Have you ever had a home grown tomato?: No. Have you ever held a real gun?: No. Would you rather wear Converse or Vans?: I don’t care what brand my sneakers are, as long as they fit nicely. Is there a song that reminds you of someone?: Of course. Have you ever been called bipolar?: I actually am bipolar. Bipolar 2. Do you think Facebook can be safe if you’re smart about what you post?: No. I’m addicted to Facebook and it’s destructive for me. But even for people who rarely use it, there are always dangers that someone will doxx you or try to get your account reported. Have you ever made fun of a handicapped person?: No. Do you think it’s okay to have sex before marriage?: Obviously. But if you’re straight, you should really use protection as long as you don’t want a baby. What are your views on abortion?: Undecided. Have you ever liked a book that you had to read for school?: The Great Gatsby was outstanding. Do you have any mosquito bites?: Again: I live in Florida. What do you think? Have you pulled an all-nighter in the last week?: No. Are there posters on your walls?: So many. Do you play any video games?: No. Have you ever been called a wimp?: Does anyone actually use that insult? When was the last time you made fun of someone else?: I never make fun of people for things they can’t help. Have you ever been jealous?: 24/7. Do you like to watch old sitcoms?: No. They depress me. Are there actually books on your bookshelf?: A bunch of old ones from when I was a kid. Have you ever tried any kind of diet?: For, like, a week. LOL. Could you go out in public wearing what you are now?: Yeah, I’m still wearing my clothes from class. If asked, could you run a mile nonstop right now?: Never. Do you follow a daily routine?: I’ve just started one recently. Do you have to plan your days out meticulously or are you spontaneous?: I like to be spontaneous, but at the same time I’m obsessed with order and structure. Both... Are you allowed to go over to the opposite sex’s house?: LOL. Do you think people’s idea of a 'date’ has changed over the years?: I think back in the day, it was more common for people to fuck on a first date. Nowadays, there’s a whole game to the dating scene. Have you ever given someone a friendship bracelet?: When I was in elementary school. Do you wear those rubber wristbands?: No. How does your behavior around adults differ from around friends?: I’m an adult. If a necklace/ring gives you green marks, do you still wear it?: I don’t wear jewelry at all, anyway. Do you have public display of affection issues, or do you not care?: I'm a hypocrite. I love partaking in PDA, but I hate to see anyone else doing it. How soon is too soon to kiss a boyfriend/girlfriend?: Never. Just do it when it feels right. It’s just a kiss, after all. Do you hate it when people try to pressure you into doing something?: Yes. What instrument do you play, if any?: None. I used to be able to play a bit of the piano and flute. Has anyone ever taken your breath away?: In the literal sense, only things like music and films have done that to me. Do you like to walk around town, or would you rather take a car?: Walk, listen to music, feel the nature, and watch the scenery, so long as the weather outside is nice, or at least bearable. Does time usually pass by too fast for you?: Too fast and too slow. What’s the sweetest thing the gender of your choice could ever do for you?: Be spontaneous with me. Do you think it’s mean for people to use 'gay’ as an insult?: Yes. Is there anyone that you’d drop everything to go see?: Yes. Have you comforted anyone lately?: Yes. *** 01. How often do you walk around barefoot? 24/7 so long as I’m in the house. 02. When you eat take-out, do you just eat it out of the containers provided? I prefer that to plates, I like eating out of and with plastic things because there’s no germs or residue. 03. How do you prefer to travel? Plane, train, driving? Plane, because I have big dreams of the places I want to see. 04. Would you need to sleep with someone before considering marrying them? Definitely. 05. How often do you make your bed? There’s no point if you’re just going to mess it up again. 07. Do you carry condoms? I’m a lesbian, so I don’t really need them. 08. Would you date someone who has a hearing aid? Yes! 09. If you were to be stuck on a deserted tropical island, how big would you like the island to be? Big, but not too big where it feels like an abyss. 10. How organized are the files on your computer? Disorganized. 11. Have you ever been to a strip club? It’s on my bucket list. 12. Have you ever brought home a stray animal? No, but it’s always been a dream of mine. I want to help all the cute animals. 13. Did you have a childhood hero? Were they real or fictional? Hero? Don’t think so. 14. If you are put on hold and the music playing is a song you know, do you sing along? It is always elevator music. 15. Are you physically strong? More than I thought before. 16. Would you date someone with braces? No, it would cause too much tearing with physical contact. 17. Does scuba diving interest you? No. 18. Would you ever ask your parents for relationship advice? I have, but I feel gross doing it. 19. Do you think people look up to you? People tell me they do, but I don’t believe them. 20. How often do you have trouble sleeping at night? Never. I fall right asleep like a baby. 21. Can you drive a manual transmission? I can’t drive at all. 22. Have you ever re-gifted a gift you didn’t care for? My mom did it for me when I was little. Now that I’m older I appreciate every gift I receive. 23. Do you ever rehearse conversations before you have them? If it’s with someone I have a crush on. 24. You notice someone staring intently at you, what do you do? Stare right back at them, and make it somewhat of a contest. 25. Do you blush easily? Yes!! 26. Do you get angry at yourself or at others more often? Myself! I seldom get angry at others but I’m one of the people who is most hard on themselves in the world, I think. 27. Can you name five current world leaders? Yes. 28. When taking a cab, do you talk to the driver? I’ve taken an Uber twice. I didn’t want to, but they both initiated conversation, so I went along with it. 29. Do you like word games like Scrabble or Boggle? I love words, so yes. 30. Would you consider dating a psychiatrist or psychologist? Sure, but only if they are actually good in their field. I don’t want someone to try explaining all my behaviors in our relationship if they don’t know the first thing about how brains actually work. *** What is the current advertisement above?: There is none. Have you ever played tic tac toe on your arm in sharpie?: No. Has one of your friends ever tried to ‘hook you up?’: We’ve joked about it, but it never came to fruition. Do you prefer landmarks or street names when being given directions?: Landmarks. Do you read the prologues in the beginnings of books?: Not if it’s assigned reading. I know, it should be the other way around. Don’t bug bites make you sad?: They could be easily prevented, if my parents just listened to me and didn’t leave the front door open when they’re in the middle of something. Does your house have more than one fireplace?: It doesn’t have any. I repeat: I live in Florida. Would you say that you’re better in Math or English?: English, of course. What was your favourite gym class moment?: None. Have you ever watched The Mask Of Zorro?: Nope. If I were to give you a pet camel, what would you name it?: Todd. Do you think that ocean boardwalks are fun?: They’re gorgeous and wonderful and everything good in the world. When it rains does it leave a lake in your front yard?: Nope. What colour is your music device?: It’s my phone, and it’s either gold or rose gold, I can’t remember/tell. Your opinion on all of the new Disney/Nick stars with upcoming CDs?: Let me just say, Andi Mack is an amazing show! Okay, that’s it. Would you please make me some food?: I only know how to make a few things. Do you dread when people ask you to sign their yearbooks?: That was such a fun activity, I always wrote something cheeky. Does Harry Potter eat chicken nuggets?: No, they only have the highest quality of cuisine at Hogwarts. Does your mum watch Judge Judy too much?: That reminds me, she just got recruited for Jury Duty, LOL. Where is one place that you’d never be caught dead in?: A lingerie shop. Apple Jacks; Yay or nay?: I like cereal that’s actually cereal, not candy. Have you ever watched the movie Driving Lessons?: Never heard of it. Favourite candle scent?: I like all, except the fresh laundry and beach ones. Coke or Pepsi brand sodas?: Coke, is that even a question? If you could live in a world of your own, would you make everything madness?: The world we live in right now is utter madness. Do you have a favourite Scooby-Doo movie?: No. Have you ever been invited to a clam bake?: WTF?? Do storms frequently knock out your power?: Sometimes. Do you enjoy taking polls?: Yep! Do you dislike when people ruin the endings of anything for you?: Depends on how much I care about the series/movie that I’m going to watch. Do you think it’s cute when toddlers try to run away and fall down?: Toddlers and babies are gross, not cute. Have you ever eaten a penny?: ???? What is the last cartoon that you have watched?: Bojack Horseman...I THINK. Have you ever played Disc Golf or Ultimate Frisbee?: No. Cheez-its; yay or nay?: YAY! What is your favourite flavour of PopTart?: S’mores. Do you tan easily in the summertime?: No, I burn. Have you ever been to a funeral?: Yes, but I barely knew the guy, even though he was a family member. Do you enjoy listening to your grandparents tell stories of their past?: Yes, my grandma has some nice stories. Currently, what is going on around you?: I am listening to a white noise track on YouTube, because it’s the only way I can concentrate on anything. Can you read a compass well?: Not at all. If platypuses weren’t poisonous, would you have one for a pet?: No. *** do you ever wish you could just go to sleep and never wake up? Dying in my sleep is one of my biggest fears. do you want to have any children? if so, how many? Never. how many piercings have you had in your life all together? Ear piercings, but I made them close up. how many do you have now? Zero. do you have a problem with bisexual, gay, or bicurious people? I’m a lez myself. do you use hearts like this <3 a lot? Yep! <3 what were you doing at 12 AM? Filling out this survey, it’s been taking me so long, but I’m enjoying every minute of it. do you like where you live? Yes, but I’d hate to live here forever. how’s your sister? I have two half-sisters, but I never see them. is anyone over protective of you? My mom!!! have you ever made someone so mad that they broke something? I don’t recall. what color is your toothbrush? Multicoloured.  is there someone who meant a lot to you at one point, and isn’t around now? Yes. what do you do when you’re having a bad day? Try to sleep, but then my thoughts are too distracting, so I take a walk. where is your mother right now? Sleeping. when was the last time you cried really hard? Seeing Call Me By Your Name in theatres. let’s test your memory, what were you doing at this exact moment a year ago? What a whack question. do you smoke weed everyday? I’ve only smoked it once, and I don’t plan on smoking it again. if the year consisted of only one season, which would you choose? Spring. have you ever liked someone older than you? Story of my life. who was the last person to call you? Mom. are you multi-tasking right now? Nope. what is the most irritating thing? Intimate sounds from people I dislike...I know that’s oddly specific. are you a patient person? No. do you ever listen to country music? Never. do you get mad when people smoke around you? Yes, I’m worried about secondhand smoke. did you lie on any of these questions so far? No. do you remember who you liked in january? It’s January right now. is life good or bad? Depends on the day. are you the oldest child? No. what was the last thing you said to someone? I don't remember. are you happy? Depends on the day. ever been told someone loved you? Yes. who was your last missed call? Too lazy to check. do you like cold and rainy days, or warm and sunny? Warm and cool at the same time. are you nervous about anything? Always. are you happier now, or three months ago? Now. what’s your current mood? Nervous. what color are your eyes? Hazel. do you and your mother have a good relationship? It’s complicated. do you know anyone with literally no common sense? Me. have you ever worn the opposite sex’s clothing? It’s my preference. honestly and don’t lie how's your heart these days? Overly passionate. have you ever had a summer romance? No. looking back, did you ever think you would be where you are now? No. do you remember who you had feelings for in december 2009? Yes. is a best friend pissing you off right now? Yes. what woke you up this morning? My alarm. do you have a brother? Half-brother whom I’ve never met. are you sad right now? Yes. do you like winter time? No. was it a boy or a girl to text you first today? Girl. what are you listening to right now? White noise. when was the last time you wanted to slap someone in their face? Today. are you scared of spiders? Yes. do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? I give endless chances. do you have siblings over the age of 21? All three of them. when’s the last time you cried yourself to sleep? Yesterday. do you struggle to articulate your thoughts and feelings? I know them way too well, actually. do you believe in divorce? I believe you shouldn’t get married in the first place. do you think you’re old? No. where have you lived throughout your life? New York and Florida. what’s the greatest thing that happened to you today? My first philosophy class. has anyone said they love you in the last week? Yes. would you rather visit australia, germany, croatia or jamaica? Croatia x10000 when was the last time you saw your dad? Today. if your boyfriend or girlfriend smoked pot, would you care? Only if it was daily. have you ever camped out with a significant other? I’ve never camped out at all. what keeps you awake at night? Nothing. As I said, I fall asleep like a baby. how many times have you stayed in a hotel? A lot. what does your third text message say? who is it from? Too lazy, again! plans for tomorrow? Two university classes. honestly, what’s on your mind right now? I'm tired but I want to complete this survey. other than a person, what was the last thing you cuddled with? My dog, of course. where was the last place you got completely wasted? I’ve never gotten completely wasted. do you need/want new clothes? I need them. I don’t want them. what did you eat for lunch today? A Dunkin’ Donuts wake-up wrap. how would you feel about traveling abroad alone? It’s my dream. what was the last thing you watched on tv? The Golden Globes (and I was disappointed with the results, of course, if you were paying attention to my previous answers on this survey.) when is the last time you wore a dress? For Christmas, I think? do you prefer hot, humid weather or bone-chilling cold weather? Hot and humid weather. last person you yelled at? Mom. have you ever watched one tree hill? No. who did you last have an alcoholic drink with? The guests at the Christmas party. are you afraid of falling in love? No, I love the feeling. what color eyes does your cat have? I have a dog, not a cat. what is the drinking age where you live? 21. do you lead people on? I’m very direct. how do you feel about your hair right now? It's up in a ponytail. I recently found a shampoo that works perfectly with it. have you ever thought that you were honestly going to die? Yes. who did you last say i love you to? My online bestie. when is your birthday? June 20th. is there any emotion you’re trying to avoid right now? One that I want to get rid of, but I acknowledge it. do you ever get “good morning” or “good night” texts? No. when did you last hold hands with someone? Oh God, it’s been a while. can you touch your nose with your tongue? No. stalked someone on a social network? 24/7. are you afraid of the dark? No. have you ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? Yes. have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? Story of my life, again. 1) Have you ever read the play “Waiting for Godot?” Did you like it? I haven't. 2) Do you actually like the early Simpsons episodes? I don’t watch The Simpsons. 3) Do you ever get horrible back pains? I’m actually getting adjustments at the Chiropractor for them. I have bent nerves in my back. 4) Do you ever nick the free things they put in hotel rooms (soaps, biscuits, chocolates, etc.)? Yep. 5) How often does it snow where you are? Does it interrupt your day-to-day life? Never. 6) How often do your knees crack when you stand up/crouch down? Always. 7) What’s your favourite flavour of Pringles? Sour cream and onion. That’s a flavor, isn’t it? 8) Do you have an ex that acts really weird with you sometimes, but absolutely fine with you at other times? No. 9) Have you ever been skiing/snowboarding before? Did you like it? I haven’t. 10) Do you do your own grocery shopping or not? Nope. 11) Are you on the pill? Is it for contraception or for other reasons? I am, to make my periods lighter and to balance my hormones. 12) Is someone in your family affected by Asperger’s? I am. 13) Are you addicted to any kind of soda? Ginger ale. 14) Have you ever eaten sugar straight out of the packet? No, gross. 15) Do programmes about bad eating habits make you want to sit and eat junk food? Quite the opposite. 16) Do you ever get worried about calling up strangers on the phone (eg. in hotels or for jobs)? Always. 17) In a hotel do you always nose through all the drawers and cupboards? Yes, it’s so much fun! 18) How often do you crack your back? Often. 19) Is your keyboard missing any keys? No way. 20) Are you afraid of flying or do you enjoy it? Or is it just normal to you? I love it! I love being above the clouds and the world looking miniature compared to me. 21) Have you ever flown to another country by yourself? Not yet. 22) What can you see out of the window right now? Nothing, I have the blinds closed. 23) Is your phone/iPod charging right now? No. 24) Do you like Elvis Presley’s music? No. 25) Do you live outside the United States? No. 26) If so, does it bug you when surveys are really Americanised? -- 27) Do you still watch Futurama? Never did. 28) Do you watch reality shows? Which one is the worst in your opinion? Yes, and all of them are the worst. 29) What size bed do you have? Twin-sized. It’s so goddamn small. 30) Do you get really bad periods? If so, what do you do to make them less painful? Not ever since I’ve been taking the pill.