#(anti-)romance

[castielsprostate]

i hate you "influencers", i hate you tiktok, i hate you "content creators", i hate you "unalive" and "s€x" and "dr/ügs", i hate you instagram, i hate you consumerism, i hate you family friendly, i hate you puritans, i hate you facebook, i hate you family vloggers, i hate you violating other people's privacy, i hate you modern day social media

[massiveladycat]

leo shouldve learned how to cope with his trauma and his need for validation instead of rick slapping a girlfriend on him and calling it a day. in this essay i will-

[littlenastieswewhispered]

“buffy ended the show single :)” ok but only because her current love interest just DIED!! (he near quite literally died in her arms! in sacrifice for her!) her last words of the entire series were telling him she loves him and then saying his name in admiration. she isn’t single; she’s a widow.

[specsthesecond]

°❆⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❆⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❆⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❆⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°

When you wake up you're alone, it's just you and the fire. The disappointment you feel disturbs you. You should be relieved to be alone, you should feel safer now that the Orc isn't near you.

Orcs are brutal warlords, everyone knows this. They can't be trusted. You glower at the fire and manage to shuffle a little closer to the hearth. The idea of just leaving before the Orc can come back floats in your mind but it quickly dissipates when you try to sit up. Your limbs betray you, your arms shake and falter under your weight, as if you're a pathetic waif and not a self-sufficient woman of the woods.

You slump back to the floor and bundle the thick wool blanket tighter around your still naked frame. Surely your clothes are dry by now. You take on the burdensome task of looking around the living room for your clothes but freeze when you see the big green figure standing in the connected kitchen. His back is facing you as he moves around, opening cabinets and draws with an unnerving quietness. How could you not have heard him? The realization paralyses you, have your senses dulled that much from the hypothermia?

As if he could sense your fear, he turns around and locks eyes with you. His dark eyes make your heartbeat jolt and you turn over to avoid looking at them or him. You look around again for your clothes and finally spot them on a wooden drying rack next to the hearth. You try and scooch your body towards it but you can only really wriggle on the floor. You hear him stepping closer and the fear rises with every step, you try and reach out for your clothes but he gets to them before you.

If you had energy you would yell something vulgar but your anger quickly settles into confusion when the massive man sits behind you and gently brings you into a seated position, supporting your back against his chest. You go even more limp as he slowly brings your hands through the long sleeves of your tunic and pulls the garment over your head with some difficulty on your part because of the strenuous action on your sore muscles.

He buttons up the shirt and you want to slap his hands away but you can't, your fingers are far too numb to be doing any fine motor functions like that anyway. He then does the same with your pants, gently pulling them into each leg. The softness that he treats you with is upsetting, like he looks down on you. You can feel his breaths on your ear and you can feel how he tenses when you wince at a particularly painful movement. It's all so humiliating.

When he's done, he lets your head slump onto the pillow again. He put a pillow on the floor for you? How have you only noticed that now? He walks off into his kitchen again and leaves you to stare shamefully into the fire. If you tried to leave, even if you could make it out the door, you'd probably just freeze to death or be saved again by this stranger and be even more humiliated than you are now.

The orc comes back with a steaming mug and plate. He helps you sit up and positions you up against his chest again. You absolutely hate how easily you relax into his warmth. He holds the mug up for you to take and you hesitantly reach out and curl your fingers around the warm ceramic, holding it to your chest and assessing the contents.

It smells earthy and sweet. You take a tiny sip and your taste buds sing. It tastes like honey and a woody spice you can't place. You down the whole cup in no time, almost spilling as your arms struggle with the exertion of holding it up. You gulp down the last of the thick, hot liquid and sigh in relief. The orc behind you lets out a very irritating, amused huff and takes the mug from you to replace it with the plate. It's filled with hot steaming buns, it smells divine and you pick one up only to drop it back on the plate when it burns your fingers.

The hot food nips at the sensitive skin on your fingertips painfully. The digits are still cold and numb, not cooperating with what you want them to do. You try again but quickly drop the hot bun onto the plate once more. The orc sets the plate into your lap and carefully manoeuvres you so that you sit across his crossed legs, like sitting bridal style. He picks up a hot bun and holds it to your mouth, after a moment of hesitation you finally give up even more of your dignity and bite into the delicious smelling treat. You barely stop yourself from moaning at the taste.

You make the mistake of looking up at his face, you haven't actually gotten a good look at his face until now and you almost choke on your bun when you do. He looks nothing like the depictions of orcs you've seen and read, they're supposed to be ugly and scary beasts who pillage and kill for fun. Looking at him, you can't help the uncertainty that trickles into everything you know about orcs. Concern is written all over his orcish features, just like his cautious movements.

His tusks have little carvings on them, shallow indents in the ivory so beautiful and intricate it's difficult to imagine orc hands carving them. You realize he's also staring at you and you wonder if he's thinking similar things about your human features. You have no idea how orcs perceive humans but if it's anything like how humans perceive orcs it can't be very good.

A sudden guilt comes over you and you have to look away from the orc. You stare at your lap, where you sit comfortably in his hold and accept another hot bun he holds out for you. You can feel his hand hesitate on your back, he wants to comfort you but he's...scared?

If you're honest you're scared too, you can't even remember how long it's been since you just talked to another person, let alone touched someone. With a full belly and a warm face, you drift off once again against this stranger's chest wondering if it's been just as long for him.

°❆⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❆⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❆⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❆⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❆

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[stars-obsession-pit]

A random paranormal romance fan (who lives nowhere near Amity Park), while doing some research on ghosts for their next project, comes across the Anti-Ecto Control Acts.

And as they dig deeper, they start to realize this is a way bigger deal than they were ever imagining.

One thing leads to another, and they end up publishing a whole exposé on the matter.

…they just have to make sure no one ever learns just how they got started down this rabbit hole in the first place.

[cr33p-a-z01d]

ok I just want everyone here to know that

WAYCEST DNI!!!!!!

ITS FUCKING GROSS. STOP!!!

you will be blocked on sight

[yourhighness6]

Me, screaming into the void: I DON'T HATE MAI I JUST FEEL LIKE SHE NEEDED MORE DEVELOPMENT OUTSIDE OF ZUKO AND HER ARC SHOULDN'T REVOLVE AROUND HER LOVE INTEREST

Also me, still screaming into the void: I DON'T HATE AANG I JUST QUESTION WHETHER HIS ROMANTIC INTEREST IN KATARA BRINGS OUT THE BEST SIDES OF HIM AND FEEL AS THOUGH HE AND HIS DEVELOPMENT IS NOT ABOVE NECESSARY CRITICISM

[ecoterrorist-katara]

Why I feel like Ka/taang is one-sided, despite textual evidence 

ATLA does try to convince us that Katara has romantic feelings for Aang. For example: she seems thoughtful when she realizes that Aang is a powerful bender; she’s offended that he didn’t want to kiss her in the Cave of Two Lovers; she gets jealous when Sokka says On Ji and Aang look good together.

So…what’s wrong with anti-Kataangers? Do we just lack media comprehension? 

To be clear, on their own, these gestures can indicate romantic interest. But at the same time, we have stuff like “Aang is a sweet little guy, like Momo.” We have her ambivalent facial expression after he kisses her before the eclipse, and her hedging during Ember Island Players, and her anger when he kisses her anyway. In the context of these conflicting cues, Katara’s possibly romantic reactions can absolutely be interpreted in a different way, because: 

Acknowledging a friend as a potential romantic interest is not the same as actually being romantically interested in them. (Imo this is something young women struggle with, due to a combination of romance-centrism and heteronormativity that make women feel like they should be in romantic relationships, and that boys and girls who share intimate and deep feelings for one another must be romantically into each other) 

Wanting someone to find you desirable is not the same as desiring that person. (Which is something a lot of women, especially young women, struggle with. Remember all the discourse around Cat Person back in 2017?) 

Being jealous when someone flirts with your friend is not the same as wanting to be with your friend. (Especially when you see your friends as family, or if you’re accustomed to a specific type of devotion from that friend. It is jealousy, and it is possessiveness, but it doesn’t always arise from romantic feelings) 

Growing up in a patriarchal society means that your desires are always filtered through what men want from you, sometimes in an abstract male gaze-y way, and sometimes in a very visceral and interpersonal way when a boy wants you specifically. And Katara’s reactions are just that — reactions. Reactions to what other people — including Aunt Wu, Sokka, Aang himself — have insinuated about her and Aang. She’s not really proactive in her interest in Aang: we don’t really see Aang, romantically, from Katara’s POV. Under the framework of “Katara is reacting to a romantic prospect she’s kind of uncertain about,” it is completely plausible — and indeed likely — that she would sometimes act in ways that indicate romantic interest, in addition to moments where she indicates the opposite. 

Ka/taang shippers often bring up other evidence, like Katara’s despair when Azula hits Aang with lightning, or how protective she is of him when Zuko joins the Gaang. The thing is, these pieces of evidence aren’t necessarily indicative of romantic love. The fact that Katara genuinely loves Aang makes the whole thing more complicated, not less, because — especially at that age, especially when Aang is twelve years old and grew up in a sex-segregated society of monks — it is really difficult to tell the difference between platonic love and romantic love. Their mutual devotion is layered and complex yet straightforward in its sincerity. What was not straightforward, until the last five minutes of the show, is whether this devotion on Katara’s end is romantic. The romantic arc for Katara and Aang is not really an arc, as Sneezy discusses in this classic ZK video. Katara actually becomes more conflicted over time and we never see an event that clarifies her feelings. She seems more interested in him in The Headband than on the Day of the Black Sun, and she has never been more hostile to his romantic overtures than in the penultimate episode. 

And in light of this, it’s pretty easy for fans to fill in the blanks with a different interpretation: maybe Katara’s weird expression after their kiss at the invasion means she didn’t enjoy it; maybe the kiss made her realize that she doesn’t actually feel that way about Aang; maybe against her will and her better judgement, she’s developing feelings for another person, a person who hurt her and whom she fervently tried to hate until he pulled off what is in my opinion the greatest grovel of all time in the form of a life-changing field trip. Maybe. Am I saying that Zutara has more romantic interactions than Ka/taang? Of course not. But ironically, the lack of romantic interactions means that it’s not inherently one-sided, the way Ka/taang became in the latter half of season 3.

I’m not arguing that Katara’s unequivocally not into Aang. Obviously the text declares that she is, because they get married and have kids. But I am saying that there’s a very good reason that so many people, especially women, see Katara’s interest in Aang as ambiguous. It’s not because we can’t pick up “subtle” hints of growing affection. It’s because we know not all affection is romantic, and it’s really easy for someone else’s insistent romantic intentions to muddle what you want.

P.S. I first started thinking about these topics (platonic vs romantic love, desiring someone vs wanting to be desired, etc) in the context of compulsory heterosexuality, a term describing how queer women contort themselves into relationships with men even if they’re not really into men. I saw a post a few days ago joking about why so many queer women seem to be into Zutara. I wonder if part of the reason is because as queer women, we are very sensitive to the ways in which we can talk ourselves into wanting things we don’t actually want, and Katara’s romantic interest in Aang can be easily seen that way. 

[rivsisnotonfire]

"Get away from your brother!" - Ray Toro

[moondal514]

As funny as it is to see those posts listing out all the men Kevin fumbled…y’all pls be real. Kevin canonically didn’t want any of those men. Those men wanted him. Kevin is the constant object of one-sided worship. That’s a big theme with him

[gayofthefae]

Girl, I'm so sorry, but if you he really was gonna tell her he loved her before Argyle interrupted them, I would not want somebody to say to me

"I guess, I just, I don't know, I guess I just wanted to say that I love you."

You guess you love me? What, you don't know? Be sure then come back to me.

[romanceclub-confessionss]

Confession:

"I really hate the racist hysteria in the fandom caused by the POC characters in the Haze story (and the way RC caved in to their demands)

Nobody in the Russian racist fandom gave a damn when an entire Sumerian (which, yk, is in the Middle East, with, yk, Brown people) pantheon got whitewashed in the Tiamat book

Nobody opposed the fact that they used white people (Manu Rios and Timur Simakov) for character inspiration while designing both of the KCD Indian LIs (which is why neither Amrit nor Ratan look like actual Indian men)

Nobody had any issues with the entire population of Egypt in SOTCN being light-skinned and Eurocentric

Nobody asked where are all the Brown people in the Heaven's Secret series. Which is weird considering it's using the biblical lore and the Bible describes the events happening in the Middle East and North Africa. So wtf is everybody so damn white?

Make no mistake, these people don't care about accuracy or respecting cultures or whatever bullshit they're trying to sell us. They just want to make everyone as white as possible even it's against the lore of the story"

[animangabwedit]

Anti-Romance by Hidaka Shoko

[madeofjules]

i know thg isn't *about* romance but the way people act like it's absurd for fans to focus on the romance because it's just a tiny insignificant part is so funny because like. the last line before the epilogue is the mc telling the main love interest that she loves him.

[lainalit]

You would think with the way in which Sjm fans argue against Sjm criticism by saying that they "just turn their brain off while reading her books" that she writes cute little contemporary romance books alà Ali Hazelwood and that the critics are just being pretentious when in reality she writes fantasy books in which there are always poorly done themes of oppression, mental health, DV, SA classism, racism, feminism, disabilities, lgbtq+ etc. in it

[novaricewrites]

Very tired of the shadowy/darkness-themed brooding male love interests in fantasy romance books. Especially the ones where the character revolves heavily around sex / sexualization.

This is especially irritating when they are 'healed' or complete as people because they are dating the protag. Seriously. It just promotes that toxic 'You can fix him with love' concept. This is such an inherently harmful message.

Not saying those kind of broody characters shouldn't be allowed to exist at all. However, the dominance of that character type over other portrayals in romance especially, subscribes to the common notion of masculinity having only one desirable form.

The main lead does not have to be the most powerful, the most virile, most tragic or most intimidating.

It's shallow and overdone.

Why can't the men and boys in these leads also be written as thoughtful and warm, sunlight characters. Soft hands and gentle voices. Complex and spirited and vibrant. Let them also be kind, lovely and full of quiet things.

I have so many thoughts on this general topic that go into way too many directions to summarize in one post.