#(and half of the moots don't have their characters mentioned-)

[incorrecttom]

“It does hurt to think that - that they'd throw me away like this, but a little pain is good, or so I think? It's a reminder of good memories I spent with them after all -”

That's what you'd say when you both decided to end things. To put your little affair to rest, to finish those secret meetings in the night. To keep themselves awake so you can just get a mere glimpse of your lover. To laugh, to cry, to be together-

And to love. But...all the good things, must come to an end, right-?

Which it did, the affair was cut short. It was almost as if your worlds had been broken, it was no longer the magic that you held. They were always ending with fights, screams.

And now, that you realize it, that things might have been a little different you would go back to the times and fix them.

But those thoughts were not for you to think, presently. The tears stung as your vision blurred while watching them giggle and laugh. You couldn't help wonder what went wrong?

Why weren't you by their side?

Vil | Riddle | Oikawa | Atsumu |

@chxrrylxdy | @bobateasilverpearl | @orlic1a | @dxmoness | @nxccolo / @sxnful-sins | @that-one-pretty-bitch | @ithil-lucien | @roseadleyn | @yourlocalintrovertt | @lady-navier0357

[agustdiv1ne]

CONGRATS ON 3K ASHLEE 🥳🫶🏼✨ you’re truly amazing and here’s to many more milestones!!

right so, ik this isn’t a movie, but I was wondering if you could do something along the lines of bridgerton + beomgyu + fluff and smut please 🥹 but if it really is just movies, then titanic with the same member and genre please <3 thank you in advance <3

NOW SHOWING...

pairing: choi beomgyu x fem!reader

genre: historical fiction, romance, fluff, smսt

wc: 4.2k

details + warnings: mdni, beomgyu and mc's characters are jack and rose adjacent but they actually have a happy ending bc i said so <3, mentions of alcohol, no established dom/sub dynamics but gyu takes the lead a bit, soft + romantic sex, fingering (f receiving), unprotected sex (don't do this!!), my big dick gyu agenda makes an appearance, light dirty talk, a little possessiveness, beomgyu calls mc: love, beautiful

note: SMILES!! TYSM <33 you are one of of my longest moots and i appreciate you and your talent so much! i've unfortunately never watched bridgerton (or else i would have used that ;-;), though i do adore titanic so i ultimately went with that ^^

you have found sunsets to be far more magnificent at high sea.

tonight brings one that is, by far, one of your most beloved from the voyage thus far: a sky flushed a deep rose, billowing clouds contrived of fairy floss drifting above your head. the horizon holds clear where the roseate hue melts into the ocean and scatters about the peaks of gentle waves. it's quite a breathtaking sight, almost too good to be true. a painting; that is what it resembles — you wish that you could reach up and brush your hands through it, watch it coat and swirl about your fingertips like smudged pigments on canvas.

leaning against the railing, you inhale a deep breath of fresh, salt-heavy air. it stings as it fills your lungs. despite the beginnings of spring, the weather has remained chilly, growing further frigid whenever the sky fades to black. now, the sun hangs low, sinking closer and closer to the sea that awaits to swallow it whole — you will be forced to return back inside soon.

sighing quietly, your mind wanders to beomgyu, the man who has won over your affections over the past five days. you wish he could be here with you to see this picturesque display. where is he right now? on one of the lower decks, perhaps? should you go find him?

does he miss you as much as you do him?

not even half a day has passed since you last saw each other, but these thoughts swirl within your brain nonetheless. busy mixing with pretentious elites and the potential suitors your mother demanded that you meet throughout the day, you hadn't found time to sneak away and meet with him despite your aching desire to. you just barely avoided your mother's watchful gaze to escape out here and finally be able to breathe.

as naïve as it may sound, you feel as though you've known the charming man your entire life. strangers with a divine connection — you ponder if you must have known beomgyu in a past life, fell for him just as you do now. your typically rational mind supplies you with grandiose ideas of running away, of fleeing this suffocating, predetermined path that you were born into. he is a breath of fresh air after all of the men that you have met who only wish to marry and mold you into a submissive, obedient housewife that they can then neglect. unlike those men — no, you think, those insolent boys, he is not hungry to further his wealth, to fasten his name to yours for the sake of status. he doesn't expect you to change yourself. rather, he takes you as you are, with all your sharp edges and imperfections, and worships you down to the marrow of your bones.

the longing to wander the entire ship until you find him strikes you square in the chest like a sack of flour, knocking the breath from your lungs. your heart aches. you want to see him. you must see him.

“i should’ve known i’d find you out here.” 

it's quite strange, how the hand of fate plays its cards. you whip your head around, and there he is, with his sun-kissed skin and wind-tousled hair, as if he had somehow heard your thoughts and rushed to meet you. the upward quirk of his lips conveys both fondness and mischief while he moves closer to you, gentle hands wrapping around your waist. you mirror his expression, relief flooding your system at his well-timed arrival. sliding your hands over his shoulders, you link your fingers together around the nape of his neck.

“gyu,” you whisper while you surge forward to embrace him, pressing your face into the junction between his neck and shoulder. he nearly stumbles, but quickly regains his balance, returning the hug. “i missed you.”

“we saw each other this morning,” he chuckles, but the way his arms tighten around you betray his true emotions. 

you deliver a light pinch to his neck in jest, mumbling against his neck, “you’re impossible.”

this simply makes him laugh harder, his chest shuddering against your own. he curls a hand under your chin to remove your face from his neck, and his chestnut-colored eyes find yours. “and you love it.”

“unfortunately, yes,” you admit with a sigh. he smiles wider at that.

a peaceful silence fills the air between you. only the sounds of the ship cutting through the sea fills your ears. turning in his hold until his back presses against your chest, you look back out to the horizon. the pink sky has faded into a muted indigo, the sun barely a semicircle along the horizon. the air has grown colder now, but the warmth that beomgyu exudes wards off the chill that runs deep beneath your skin. your place one hand atop the ones looped around your stomach, the other reaching up to play with the ends of his soft hair.

“where’d you disappear off to today?” beomgyu breaks the quiet first. he feels the way you stiffen within his hold, how your fingers stop toying with his hair, the deep breath you exhale. you can that he immediately regrets asking.

“my mother,” you begin to explain, a bitter, sour note in your voice. “she dragged me from party to party today. they weren’t even parties, really, just excuses to flaunt wealth and peacock about. it was absolutely ridiculous.”

you hear the small giggle he allows at your choice of words, and your lips turn up again. teasing, you say, “i’m glad my misery amuses you.”

“no, never,” he hastily says, oddly serious. your fingers rubbing soothing circles against his scalp is a silent confirmation that you know. a few beats of silence pass once more, your eyes trained on how the sun continues its descent below the horizon.

the ocean's maw has fully consumed the sun when he pulls you back against him, his warm breath caressing the shell of your war and causing you to shiver. the quintessentially impish lilt of his voice returns, a smirk rich on his lips.

“wanna go to a real party?”

and to a real party he takes you. a gathering on a lower deck, the tunes played by the instrument-wielding passengers brash and loud. others sing, some dance, many drink. it's as if you are walking into a brand new world, seeing colors you have never seen before. it is so disorienting yet exhilarating at the same time.

your hand enveloped in his, beomgyu guides you into the sea of noise and moving bodies with confidence towards two men who cheer his name at the sight of him. they each hold a glass of amber ale, eyes glazed over as they spot you behind their friend.

“you finally made it! thought you weren’t comin’,” the slightly taller of the two calls, his words slurred. his fox like eyes meet yours again, and he grins. “you must be the girl he’s been ravin’ about! y/n, right?”

you offer a shy nod and a polite smile, nerves apparent in the way your eyes dart across the room. next to you, beomgyu grows a bit red in the face, but holds you closer to him. how easily he picks up on your emotional state is beyond you, but appreciated.

beomgyu moves to introduce the two men, and you learn the taller one is named yeonjun. the shorter man, his eyes as round as a doe's, is named taehyun. he is far more reserved compared to the other two, but welcoming nonetheless. you converse with them for a considerable amount of time, growing more comfortable the longer you stand with them. none of them seem to care that you come from a wildly opposite walk of life as them; they treat you as a friend all the same.

the conversation soon turns to their history and how exactly they came to know beomgyu. they happened to meet while in paris, yeonjun explains, bonding over their shared heritage and quickly developing a close friendship.

“it’s a miracle we even got on this ship!” yeonjun laughs before he takes another swig of his drink. “gyu won a game of cards back at the port just before she set sail. lucky guy, ain’t he?”

“yeah,” beomgyu responds before you are able to utter a word, looking down at you with fondness coloring his gaze. “i really am.”

the two men soon depart on a search for more alcohol, leaving you and beomgyu alone. he does not take long in snatching your hand to drag you towards the makeshift dance floor.

“beomgyu, wait, i can’t—”

“c’mon!” he exclaims. “dance with me!”

he pulls you close to him as soon as you reach the space. chest to chest, hand in hand. your eyes widen, frantic.

with haste, your voice strained in order to be heard over the music, you say, “beomgyu i don’t, i don’t know this dance, i can’t do this!”

“sure you can!” he jovially yells. “just follow my lead!”

the music surges around your bodies as you begin to skip about the room. with beomgyu guiding you along to the fast-paced tempo, your apprehension melts away. you do not have to be in control, you can simply feel and allow yourself to flow along with him. you squeal as your unsuitably formal dress flutters around your legs and your heeled shoes click against the floor rhythmically. both of you laugh unabashedly, growing drunk on the excitement of it all. your heart beats erratically against your ribcage, your cheeks beginning to hurt from how wide you beam.

you feel more alive in this moment than you have in your entire life.

he spins you around and around until you grow dizzy. then, you are off once again, eventually joining a line of people holding hands and snaking about the room. you skip along with one hand held by a woman who speaks to you in rapid french and the other still taken by beomgyu, who attempts to translate her words, albeit poorly.

out of breath, you squeeze his hand, and he takes your hint; you break away from the line. others easily fill the void that you leave.

you stumble, giggling, and beomgyu catches you. harebrained and giddy and every cell of your body positively surging with joy, you are unable to even think your actions through before you are cupping his face in your hands and crashing your lips against his.

whoops and hollers sound around you, but the sole thing that permeates your senses is beomgyu's soft lips melding with your own. the grip of his hands upon your waist fortifies, but only enough to hold you to ensure your unchanging propinquity. hurried, ravenous, you devour each other in the middle of the crowd until you grow desperate for oxygen. pulling away, you draw a breath deep into your lungs, mouth agape just as the full force of what you did crashes into you, a strike of lightning straight to your chest.

and rather than fret, your lips split and their corners rise, and you laugh. you laugh and laugh and laugh until you collapse against beomgyu's chest. he gathers you up to his chest before you crash to the floor, holding you by your cheeks while he comprehends your wild eyes and glowing mien.

“are you alright?” he queries.

i think i may be in love with you, is what you wish could say, but you bite the words back before they escape.

instead, you ask, “come with me, please?”

he nods and allows you to pull him towards the stairs that you first entered from. mistakenly, you briefly meet eyes with yeonjun, who stands across the room with a suggestive smirk, eyebrows wiggling in your direction. though your cheeks grow warm, you continue to push forward, weaving your fingers through those of the man following close behind.

the trek to your private chambers takes far longer than expected. both of you are guilty of pulling each other into dark corners and giggling into each other's mouths at nearly every turn. the situation becomes dire once you reach the upper decks, dodging acquaintances of your mother through roundabout hallways. after what seems like hours, you reach the door of your room, swiftly unlocking it and pulling beomgyu inside.

without delay, he presses you up against the door, forearms caging you in, and crashes his lips to yours once more. gone is the nonsensical laughter and teasing touches — now all that remains is a carnal hunger, a bone-deep desperation to feel and to devour one another whole. his sly tongue sneaks into your mouth, dancing with your own before it retracts and his teeth graze your lower lip. you exhale a breathy whine, hands pawing at the rough linen of his shirt.

he pulls away to momentarily catch his breath before he blazes forward to kiss you once more. your finger pressed to his lips, however, halts his movements. questions dance in his pupils.

“take me to bed,” you whisper. 

biting your lip, you watch as the gears within his brain churn as he processes your words, how his eyes grow impossibly darker once he does. the short journey to your bed is a blur in your mind. hands tug at clothes and undergarments until you lay bare beneath his own naked torso, his trousers low on his waist, though unable to hide the aching erection that strains the fabric.

he reaches up to tweak your nipple, causing you to inhale sharply. he finds great delight in how sensitive you are, his lips ravaging your neck until he locates the weak spot just beneath your ear. he bites down lightly. a shock of bliss jolts down your spine, and you squeal his name — god, how he would give away what little money he has to his name to hear that sound every day.

the combination of his lips gliding down your neck and his thumb circling your nipple renders you speechless, merely able to moan and grip the soft sheets below you as he brings you pleasure that you have never felt before. though his calloused hands against your skin feel much rougher than those of the men that your mother forces you to mingle with, he treats you gentler than any of your desperate suitors ever could. almost as if your body is made of glass, he does not press hard enough to inflict pain, nor does he force you to your knees to take him. no man you have lied with before has treated you in such a manner, putting your needs before his own. your heart pounds at the realization. you pray that he cannot hear it.

deprived of warning, his lips and fingers disappear from your skin. you whine at the sudden confiscation of pleasure.

“why did you stop?” you pant, breathless, trying to reach up to touch him. he captures your hands and links his fingers between your own. he presses your arms back against the sheet before he lets go. 

he stares down at you for a moment, eyes trailing from your heaving chest to the swollen pout upon your lips. with a ghost of a smirk, he leans down to press a chaste peck to the corner of your mouth, his forehead now pressed against yours. eyes hooded, he breathes, “patience, beautiful. i’m gonna make you feel good, i promise.” 

“hurry, then,” you plead. you feel as if you are going insane without his touch. addictive, akin to opium; you want more, you crave it.

“ah, so demanding,” he jokes, though he gives in. he allows you no time to respond as he kisses you again, leaning over you with forearm pressed into the mattress next to your head. a hand slides down your side — drawing goosebumps to your skin — to your thigh, spreading you wider for him. you inhale sharply through your nose when you feel fingers press against your soaking center, one slim, rough-skinned finger sliding slowly past your entrance. the groan he emits rumbles against your own chest. he raises his head no more than a millimeter, shuddering at the wet heat that coats his skin as he begins to thrust the digit in and out. 

“fuck, you’re so tight,” he curses, unable to help himself. clinging to him, you bite your lip at his ministrations, nearly drawing blood when he slips a second finger in, stretching your walls. his thumb finds the aching bud just above to ease the sting.

“g-gyu,” you whimper, the sound singing in his ears like wind chimes, urging him to move faster, curl his fingers against the spongy patch inside you, watching how your face contorts beneath him. he fixates on the spot. your hips involuntarily buck up into his thrusts in response, the cord within your stomach tightening. your gaze meets his, desperate, pleading. “gyu, i need, ‘m going to—”

“let go, beautiful,” he groans, grinding his cock into the crease of your thigh for relief. “you can do it, c’mon. let go for me.”

his deep-voiced encouragement sends you over the edge, warmth flooding your veins as your thighs quake around him, nails digging into his tanned skin. your eyes screw shut.

“that’s it,” he coos as you float back down to earth. he rubs soothing circles against the skin of your cheek. “my lovely girl.” 

“want you, gyu,” you beg, stomach warm from the praise. “want you inside.” 

he freezes, eyes wide. “are...are you sure?”

“i’ve never been more sure in my life,” you say. thus, his grin returns. he moves to unbutton his trousers, and you help him, grazing the hard imprint in his underwear. he hisses at the sensation, then stands from the bed to remove his remaining clothing. your mouth dries at the sight, and you gulp. he is quite well-endowed, his cock standing tall against his soft abdomen, the tip an angry crimson, the color fading as your eyes travel down the shaft. you squirm at the thought of it being inside you, stretching your walls beyond belief, pressing into every spot within you with every roll of his hips.

he settles between your thighs once again, guiding his cock against your wet folds. your poorly-veiled apprehension is not lost on him.

“i’ll go slow,” he promises, guiding the head of his cock to your awaiting entrance. “don’t wanna hurt you...you ready?”

with a deep breath, you hum in confirmation. he murmurs out a quiet “okay,” directed more towards himself than you, and shifts his hips forward. the first press brings with it a small ache. you wince, and he slows, inquiring if you are okay. 

you nod. “go slow, please.”

“of course, love,” he whispers, distracting your mind from the pain with his lips. inch by inch, he sinks deeper into your walls, soon bottoming out deep inside of you with a strained moan. he stills to allow you to adjust. as soon as you do, you’re urging him to move. he obeys, thrusts slow-paced and tender until you beg for him to quicken them. 

“yeah?” he coos. “y’want more? you, fuck — you have all of me already, s-so greedy.”

the roll of his hips sharpens, canting upward — faster, harder, deeper. all you can think to do is moan, the thoughts ricocheting in your mind now too jumbled for you to decipher and voice. a fire has ignited in your stomach, growing hotter and brighter when swings your legs over his shoulders. the angle of his thrusts causes the head of his cock to brush against a spot deep inside you, a place that has never been explored prior. a sound that is foreign to your ears tears itself from your chest, loud and unabashed.

above you, beomgyu groans. his head is thrown back, mouth agape, his hair a tousled mess atop his head. a few strands stick to his sweat-drenched forehead. a flush has traveled down and stained his chest, his abdomen flexing in exertion as he loses himself completely. his head drops down again, his eyes meeting yours, half-lidded and brimming with heady lust. you attempt to hide your face in the sheets, growing shy at the intensity of it all, but he reaches down to grip your chin, holding your gaze steady.

“watch me,” he orders. in a daze, you obey, glassy eyes barely able to comprehend the bombardment to your senses. his free hand locates your slick clit, rubbing quick circles, breath shaky as your walls flutter and tighten around him. “so good. so good for me, beautiful. no one can make you feel as good as i do, hm?”

“o-only you!” you manage to agree through your cries. he slips his thumb past your lips, and you immediately begin to suck on the digit.

“so pretty, such a good girl,” he mumbles out, half delirious. “will never get enough of you.” 

your high slams into you in a flash, your entire body quivering around him. beomgyu rapidly pulls out, ropes of his release spilling across your abdomen as he jerks himself, gasping at how your empty hole flutters around nothing. your legs drop from his shoulders, as weak as a newborn fawn's. he collapses next to you, mopping up his release with the handkerchief sitting upon your nightstand, before he pulls you to his chest, holding you like you are about to disappear into the air. he cups your cheek gently, kissing you slowly, savoring every second. when you pull away, there lies an urgency in his expression.

“run away with me,” he whispers, searching your face for something, anything. “once this ship docks in new york, run away with me.”

your chest tightens. he feels the same — oh, he feels the same. you battle back the tears beginning to form on your waterline and hold him close, reaching up to envelop the hands on your cheeks with your own and kissing him breathless.

your forehead presses to his as you respond, a watery smile painting your lips, “where would we go?”

“anywhere you’d like,” he breathes. tears form in his own eyes — hope, unbridled joy. “just say the word.”

your blooming love is not star-crossed, but auspicious, you realize while standing on the deck of the carpathia.

you had been separated from beomgyu in the sinking of the titanic that night, in the frantic crowds shoving towards the life boats and the gunshots ringing out to maintain a semblance of order. your mother had found and pushed you onto one, lowered into the sea before you were able to leap out, to search for him. you sobbed into your palms the entire night, unknowing whether he survived the sinking or not.

but now, he is across the deck before you, alive. his clothes and hair are drenched in seawater, a blanket wrapped around his shoulders — but he's alive, so very alive. he has not spotted you, his eyes pointed out to the sea where the so-called "unsinkable" ship met its watery grave. your hands begin to shake. warm, breathing, alive.

you croak out his name, tearing away from your mother in order to sprint over to him, ignoring the weakness of your limbs and the frantic protests from your mother behind you. your calls of his name amplify in volume. he spins around, and his face melts into disbelief. he races across the remaining distance between you, feet thumping against the wooden deck. arms wrap around you as the two of you meet — two souls colliding, winding and weaving around each other like threads on a loom. tears are not lost upon either of you, streaming down both of your faces as you hold each other, skin against skin as you ensure this is not a dream, or mirage.

“i love you,” you sob. “i can’t, i didn’t know if—”

he shushes you, tucking your face into his chest. “i know, love. i know. i love you, too. we’re here now, we’re together. alive.”

you choke back a whimper, crying until you can no longer. as you shift back to look at him, you find that he's smiling. a thought hits you suddenly.

“where is yeonjun? taehyun?” you ask. he squeezes you once, pointing somewhere across the deck. following his finger, you find them: beaten down, weary, but breathing. you have never been a particularly religious person, but you think that something must be watching from above, providing you such unfair luck. they wave. you wave right back.

“we floated on top of furniture until a rescue boat found us,” he explains. “we were lucky. i was half dead when we were found.”

the thought punctures your chest, but he doesn’t let your thoughts run astray for long. “it’s okay, love. you couldn’t have done anything.”

“i know, but—”

“but nothing.” a gentle smile plays on his lips. “we’re here now, aren’t we?”

“yes,” you say, your expression reflecting his. “shall we still plan to flee?”

he grins something tired yet enthusiastic. “of course, beautiful. there's no one else i'd like to see the world with more than you.”

3k event masterlist | masterlist

© to agustdiv1ne. do not copy, repost, steal, and/or translate.

[lady-phasma]

Hello there, I loved your previous answer to an anon question and you made a comment about your previous experience of getting attached to characters or people because of loneliness and depression. Please can I ask how you overcome that and what perspective you had about this? How did you frame it in your mind? 🥰🥰🥰 I have never really experienced this before and I’m not why but I get happy and then feel sadness because I know im projecting and it’s not real. In my real life I’m pretty confident but I would like to start dating and meeting someone but have a crush on a character or actor has been easier than going out there and approaching people I like. Any advice would be brilliant. Also I have felt that when it has come to people like EM etc the stories about how they actually got there and the way in which they have made sacrifices and had challenges gets glossed over. It’s always look at how well they have done which is right, but not it’s taken lots of hard work and lots of rejections and learning behind closed doors to get them in this position. The glamorisation of actors can be really off putting for me as it’s amazing that they are getting the credit they deserve but the toil to get there is rarely mentioned.

Hi anon! I think this is the ask you are referring to. Thank you. 💜 I'm glad you enjoyed it. Let me tell you today turned out to be the day to ask this. We have gotten so many Ewan crumbs today. It's honestly a bit overwhelming.

I'm going to start with: your emotions are not weird or uncommon! The first thing we have to do is be compassionate with ourselves. I have a couple moots who needed some distance this week, not because of drama, just to be in the real world more and less overwhelmed. I spent half of Sunday without any technology so I could give my brain a break. So do your absolute best to be compassionate toward yourself.

Next, regarding this:

you made a comment about your previous experience of getting attached to characters or people because of loneliness and depression. Please can I ask how you overcome that and what perspective you had about this? How did you frame it in your mind?

This answer will be quite long, settle in. I will use some healthier examples from my Matt Smith fandom and a couple from back when I had a harder time coping. The timing does overlap in my life a bit because Matt has been part of my life since he and I were 25-26 years old (I phrased it like that even though it's odd, because I want people to understand that most of what I am going to be discussing was before I turned 30).

I think this is the comment you were talking about:

lady-phasma: Oh man I have had attachments in the past, at points in my life that could have become obsessions because of loneliness or depression (not applying that to this anon) and have had to take a step back and think "okay I actually don't know this person!"

That's the context here's the first part of the answer. Cognitive behavioral therapy helped a lot. Not for the attachments to actors/public figures, but for what was actually going on with me (which I'm not going to go into too much detail about). My sister and I call these actors "emotional support actors" (gender neutral). There have been times that it wasn't the actor, but a specific character which helped me through a difficult time. When I was in a slowly-dying relationship, Ryan Gosling helped me feel less alone through roles like Drive and Crazy, Stupid Love. I want to be clear that I am not discussing parasocial relationships exactly (here's an article about those that is fairly unbiased). I don't have a problem discussing them and I have possibly unpopular opinions about them, but that's a distinction I wanted to make here. I consumed all the Ryan Gosling content I could for over two years and his movies helped me during my breakup (yes, the relationship ended, thank fuck).

The way that I "overcame" it was by reframing the actor/character in my mind as a tool or coping mechanism (I was thrilled you said "frame" btw). In the recent past I said to a moot "these internet men are going to kill me." That made them laugh because "these internet men" are real people. I have even made posts about that. However, that is one of my ways of creating distance. The Ryan Gosling I learned about, watched every interview of, watched nearly his entire body of work, is not Ryan Gosling and never will be. Neither is Matt or Pedro or Ewan or Gwendoline Christie or any of them. So now, I think of them as tools that I use to give myself some comfort during a difficult time when it starts to escalate.

This is where I'll use Matt as an example because I have been able to do this with him since day one. I have written about it briefly before, the Eleventh Doctor showed up at a time in my life that was very difficult. I had no idea I needed him. It turns out the part was played by a gorgeous and talented actor. I know now that I can turn to Matt's films/tv shows for comfort and keep my emotional distance because, in many ways, he is a figment of my imagination. I'll note here that I also no longer consume detailed personal facts about actors. I know a lot of people enjoy that but outside of knowing things Matt has said in interviews and his birthday and height I have no clue who he dates and when. No idea where he likes to vacation or grab a pint. This applies to any actor I like: the less I know, the better. That helps me from thinking that I know them. (I hope I explained that well.)

As you said, a projection. Watching his Doctor Who episodes is the same as a weighted blanket. It is comforting, self-care, and gives me space to not think.

I'm going to tie this into your other main question:

In my real life I’m pretty confident but I would like to start dating and meeting someone but have a crush on a character or actor has been easier than going out there and approaching people I like.

Ask any moot who knows me well and they can tell you I have a personal rule: if I start to have daydreams about meeting Matt I shut that shit down fast. And I mean fast. As soon as I realize I've done it I stop, take a step back, and use my self-awareness to isolate what I need in that moment. Am I lonely, hungry, overwhelmed, tired, anxious? This is personal boundary for me. I love daydreams but I want to maintain my on-going fangirling for Matt as long as possible. This approach works for me because maybe I need to text a friend or do some yoga or even get on a dating app. We can't always identify what the need is but it helps me to try. I am confident as well and have had lots of partners when I have the energy to put into those interactions. I don't always have that energy. I know why it's easier for me to crush/fangirl though this may not be your reason: I don't have to give up a single aspect of my life to another person, I don't have to be vulnerable because these are completely one sided situations. Matt will never ask me to meet his mom. Ewan will never need me to pick him up if he has a flat time. My time and my energy remain my own.

I don't have any kind of advice really. I'm aroallo and omnisexual and a cis female and you might be absolutely none of those things so my advice wouldn't help. But, human to human, pay attention to what you feel you are missing in your life and decide if you need to make it happen or if you can feel at peace without it. That is a question we have to ask over and over through our lives because we change so much.

I wish I had time to talk about the last bit you mentioned because it is important that we humanize actors and understand their struggles but I have gone on longer than most people will read. 💕 Thank you for coming to me, anon. I'm always here.

Just in case you decide to come back I gave you 📸 anon (because it felt appropriate and fun for fandom stuff) but feel free to pick your own if you don't like that.

[shsl-heck]

So because I've seen it compared to Worm, I started reading The Boys by Garth Ennis. It's bad! Like really bad! It feels like what would happen if you let an edgy anti-feminist atheist youtuber from 2015 write a comic book. I finished the first volume of the omnibus in large part because it was a train wreck I couldn't look away from, and am debating starting the second since I hate myself. The most interesting parts are actually the little forewords. Through them I learned both that it was supposed to be a comedy, and also a critique of the military industrial complex/police (or at least that people read it as one). This was surprising to me since it is neither funny nor incisive. Anyway, now I want to ramble incoherently about my problems with it because this goddamn comic broke my brain.

Okay, so one of the most common ways it shows you which characters you aren't supposed to like is by having them do comically "gross" sex stuff. Notable examples include cocaine fueled orgies, mentions of shitting during sex, bestiality, masturbating in public to the sight of disabled people, and a little person using sex toys. One that shows up repeatedly in this context is characters being bisexual or gay. Now, I don't wanna get controversial, but I think any claims that your work is a critique of capitalism, police, the military, or whatever are rendered moot when your villains are a group of secret hedonistic sex-freaks. Like we can't pretend that doesn't sound a lot like regressives and their obsession with "degeneracy". Sexual assaults, misogyny, and slurs also appear pretty often, mostly as the punch line for jokes. Victims are rendered down into objects and denied any sense of interiority so we can instead focus on what really matters (gore porn, and middle school 4chan posters' sense of humor). Never once does Ennis deign to explore the actual impact and trauma of these things, or ask why he views these things as material for jokes.

That incuriosity is I think the real problem with The Boys. There is no actual coherent thought about why things are bad. Superheroes hurt people and are wrong because of their personal moral failings as selfish perverts, not because their whole job is to violently enforce the will of the state. It's like if someone agreed that all cops are bastards, but only because all cops just so happened to be "bad apples". The main characters literally work for the fucking CIA, and yes, I know the titular Boys are at best meant to be anti-heroes a la the Punisher. My issue here isn't that they're hypocrites who are frequently also horrible. It's that this premise for is absolute nonsense if you think for half a second. Superheroes do not function without the legitimacy granted to them by the state and it's monopoly on violence, so why would the CIA need these 5 randos with zero oversight working to take out the supers? Is the force Homelander and the others can bring to bear so great that even the apparatus of that state can't deal with them? If so, why does this group of assholes change that? Normally I'd be willing to give the story a lot more of a pass when it comes to questions like this, except I'm being told that this story has things to say about systemic problems involving the government and corporations! So I have to ask, where? Where is the commentary? What does it actually have to say about the state of the world circa 2006-2012? The only answer I can come up with is "not a whole lot". It's a story which dares to ask the tough questions like "what if the world was made of pudding" and then ignore answering those questions so it can instead recite Ellis' favorite slurs in alphabetical order while showing you a woman's tits.

On a lighter note, it's also just not very good. The plot (as mentioned) falls apart under any amount of scrutiny, pacing is bizarre in a bad way, the characters aren't compelling, themes remains stubbornly unexplored, and Ellis is allergic to doing anything interesting or creative with the premise he's decided to base a whole comic around. I genuinely do not know what people enjoy(ed) about this comic.

[fire-but-ashes-too]

Hey there, relatively-new moot. :)

Do you have an OC that you especially connect with? They don’t have to be similar to you necessarily, just important to you.

why hello!

that is a great question since i throw in some me-stuff in everyone (whats writing about if not free trauma dumping?) but.... god thats hard.

on here ive mentiioned just a couple of them cause they're the only one who have a story, a personality etc. but there are actually more kiving in my head with some stuff, backstories occasionaly a name, that sadly still dont have a story.

in those i mentioned on here, Giada's weird interest that seem extremely random are actually phases i had all thre in together so that's why she's an aspiring coroner that still believes in spirits, faeries, magic and fate.

Anne's mythridatism is probably my favourite part to wite about her, talking about poisons is so fun (can you say fun for something like this?) and it's so interesting for me, so everytime i can i throw in some side effects etc. (yes i also read a book about poisons and made a 15 page summary on their history. i go full on obsession mode. dont judge.)

Alexander's backstory, disagreeing with his parents and feeling kinda oppressed, the fake front and everything is the most trauma-dumping i've ever done in a single character. i exagerated most things (i higly doubt my father is a dictator in a futuristic nation and that i'd be able to run away) but the base is how i feel usually.

The Unnamed-Protagoinst™ from Confessions of a Timeless Man is based on my year or so of obsessing over philosophy. I don't like it that much anymore but it made a great (and very short) story.

Right now i also have these 8ish characters hanging around in my brain based half on mythologies all around the world and my friend group. if i manage to write it down it'll be the best thing i've ever done.

Let's hope i do :D

I hope I answered your question, i tend to stray from the subject usually haha

thanks again!!

[edalynn]

I’m just done with this show. Willow finally gets to express her negative emotions and break down and then they literally use her breakdowns as hl fuel and use it to push her into a relationship, not to mention while Hunter is still in mourning. I’m tired of “love heals all” tropes. I’m just dropping the show. Not watching the rest. Dana has lost my faith and my favor.

I totally understand. I'm extremely disappointed with the nose dive in writing. I know they were probably stressed from the whole season/show being shortened, but come on. I know you can do better than some half-baked romance that one side of hasn't shown any interest in up until this point suddenly. I haven't watched yet, but I heard that it was in response to Willow finally expressing her emotions. Which is even fucking worse imo. It's telling the fans that Willow's feelings and emotions as a character don't matter unless she is in a romantic relationship with the main pretty white boy. It's telling kids watching the relationships fix all :-))) and that you're only worthy of your emotions being considered if someone finds you attractive and you're in a relationship with them. It's disgusting. Hands down its fucking disgusting and I despise the entire crew AND Dana for allowing that to happen. I thought it would be Hunter that was "healed by a relationship" that was the concerns, but apparently it was fucking both of them. Instead of it being bad enough with it only magically "fixing" Hunter, they dragged BOTH characters down with them. They made all of that loss and trauma Hunter just experienced- and should be grieving for instead of chasing after some girl- an entirely moot point. Oh, Flapjack died? That doesn't matter. Here's a boring relationship with a boring girlfriend to fix it :) all better now. The fact that this is the writers' response to putting Hunter through all the trauma. That this is his fucking consolation prize as a character to become so blandly written and 2 dimensional. It's fucking unacceptable honestly. They made Hunter kill his best friend by his own hand and then IMMEDIATELY shove him into a relationship with him not seeming to care at all the Flapjack is dead now. I haven't seen the ep, so I'm sure it comes up, but either way. There is no excuse for this. I really, really don't blame you for dropping the show. I wish I could, but I'm too invested in the other characters to drop it completely.

Additionally, something my partner suggested last night was that any of us with major complaints like this, should write to them if we're able. To Dana specifically. Tell her how hurt and disappointed we are and how the show has lost a huge chunk of meaningfulness to it from how they treated and discarded to of the main characters for shipping fodder out of the blue. Tell her how the message they've sent by doing this is harmful and disheartening and how the writing has entirely fallen flat just to pull a pair the spares. I'd have way more to add obviously, but you get the gist.

[bylerschmyler]

fourgate - The foreshadowing of the number 4 in stranger things

moots who are following me for little while longer will know that I am obsessed with the number 4 in Stranger Things.

And while during all my findings I was struggling to see a pattern I think I finally cracked the code... Well mostly at least.

I will split this in parts. Because it's way easier for me to do it season for season.

Fair warning: I am just a human and as of now I didn't made a full rewatch so there is a big chance that this analysis will miss some mentions of the number 4. I tried to include as much as I remembered so just lean back and enjoy!

General

The number 4 is generally a bad sign in the show. Obviously since S4 we can connect the number 4 with Vecna/One/Henry because 4 chimes, 4 kills, 4 gates. But the number was a bad thing way before we learned about him and his plan.

This analysis will cover mostly obvious mentions of the number. Mentions meaning showing the number in for- or background or a character talking about this number. I will only concentrate on those (mostly). There are a lot of subtile mentions in the blurry background, digit-sums or as part of a number. I won't cover those (for now) because for that I would have to rewatch ST completly at half speed. And as of right now I don't have the time to do it so I will concentrate on this for now.

The number generally foreshadows something bad happening in some more or less immediate response after the mention. More or less immediate means that it can be directly afterwards but also take a while. The scenes will always be in direct connection between showing/telling of the number and the bad thing happening but it's possible that longer scenes and cuts are between the mention and the bad thing happening. (You will know what I mean)

Season 1

So let's get started with season 1. You may wonder, if the number 4 plays a huge role in Season 1. And yeah it definitely does.

The very first time the number is directly mentioned is in this scene

The party had to end their campaign and Will, Dustin and Lucas are leaving. Dustin talks about how Nancy has a stick up her butt and that she used to be cool because she did dress up for campaign. And Mike responded with Four years ago.

And hopefully you remember in what bad thing this mentioned resulted.

Do I need to say more?

This is what I mean when I say less immediate. The scene with the mention is directly connected to the bad thing.

Just wanna add that there are two honorable mentions of the number 4 in this scene.

First when we get told that Will needs to roll a 13 (digit sum 4) to defeat the demogorgon and later when Will wants X-men issue 134 as reward for winning the race against Dustin.

The second Time the number 4 is very obviously shown is in E3. When "Will's" Body is found in the quarry. THIS is the reason I started to dig into this number!

Again. Every fan on here knows what comes next, don't you?

So let's get ready for the third.

Looking at this scene you may ask what bad is coming in more or less immediate context. And I get what you mean but let me explain okay.

Yes, yes I know there are a lot of things happening between Dustin saying he joined the party in 4th grade and Mike jumping from the cliff. BUT it's still in direct connection. Mike and Dustin are on their way to find El in the scene where Dustin mentions the number 4. El destroys the door in the grocery store. Mike and Dustin search for her in the woods and then they get hunted by Troy and James. It's takes it time but it's still in one context.

The one's shown above were very obvious mentions. The following one's are more subtile but I still count them for this analysis,

Yes it's not directly the number itself but 4 paws are not coincidentally. (Have tigers 4 paws I don't know). This "Mention" is resulting in the Demogorogon coming through this Wall.

Next one supporting my mention:

It's 10:04 and results in this:

Just for confimation about the time:

Additional background mention:

Part 2 will come in the next days. If you find a mention of 4 in any season that might fly under the radar please comment/reblog it on this post.

[avastrasposts]

Thanks for the tag @trulybetty !

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

18. I've been writing fics since January.

2. What's your total A03 words count?

399,758 words (yeah, I don't know what happened there...)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

The Boys, Lord of the Rings and anything with Pedro Pascal but so far only Triple Frontier, The Mandalorian and The Last of Us.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1/ The Pilot and his Girl (by a long shot, the other don't even get close). 2/ Six and a half minutes. 3/The British Connection 4/Gun Cleaning /5 The Tack Room

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Always, even though it sometimes takes me a few days to get to them. I love hearing what people think about my fics and sometimes readers pick up on things not even I thought about and I love it!

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

The British Connection, it was a forced end to a new romantic relationship that had been slowly building up during the fic.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

The Pilot and his Girl, although I did have plans for giving it a much darker ending.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I've been spared any hate comments. But to be honest, bring it. I'm to old to give a fuck about hate online in any form.

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yes, and lots of it. So far, only for hetro couples, not necessarily established relationships and usually pretty vanilla.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Yes, a few, The Pilot is a massive crossover between Triple Frontier and The Last of Us of course, but I've also written a short little Triple Frontier and The Mandalorian crossover.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I know if, and I think it's unlikely to ever happen tbh.

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

No, but there might be one in the works....

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

I mean, the reader in The Pilot is not an OC but I still love her and Frankie together. ❤

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I have an almost finished fic set in LotR with Èomer but I'm at the smut part and I just ran into a wall on how to write good but realistic smut for those two characters? So it's stalled and I don't know if I'll ever pick it up again.

16. What are your writing strengths?

People seem to always comment on my world building in The Pilot so I guess maybe that's a strength. I do see the images in my head as I write them and I try add details that will give readers a feel for what kind of world the characters are in. I'm also, apparently, very good at making people cry...I write pretty brutal angst haha!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

The damn tense...It gets away from me! And sometimes I just don't catch it. I also get very wordy sometimes. So my next challenge is to write short one shots and try to keep them under 5000 words and contain the story in one chapter.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Difficult, especially for the reader. A phrase here and there, or a pet name works well. But when fics have whole conversations in another language and I either have to read the translation in brackets or scroll down to read the notes, I lose interest because it breaks the immersion.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

A long, long long time ago...Lord of the rings I think? Before that, I can't even remember, early days of the internet...

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

The Pilot will always be very dear to me since it's been such an undertaking that I never really saw coming. But I also have a soft spot for Frankie & DIn (which I need to go back and edit because I spotted mistakes....). An honourable mention goes to The British Connection because it was the first longer fic I wrote after getting back to writing.

Thanks for asking @trulybetty And I think most of my moots got tagged but I'd love to see @i-own-loki and @ladybess-a03 's answers!

[geryuthespacesquid]

Okay okay I'm having too many thoughts on tears to contain them I'mma put something here Spoilersssss

If I'm being quite honest I keep seeing posts saying this game is better than BoTW entirely and I simply cannot agree I think they're genuinely about the same for a number of reasons.

BEAR IN MIND: I have completed the Rito and Zora areas, but unfortunately I have not been able to find any of the dragon tear memories or whatever they're called, I have been looking but i have no damn clue.

I will say that I think Tears of the Kingdom has better characters overall but I do think there is some flimsiness that comes with having so many npcs to focus on that was also present in BoTW and that's why the vast majority of BoTW character personalities are pretty severely headcanoned or flanderized in fan media, I feel like the same thing is gonna happen for tears. On that note, I also think that it's a good thing that the old sages are pretty hazy. The dialogue the old water and wind sages had was pretty fuckin similar, if not identical, and their personalities don't show much, and in some capacity I think that's smart. The greatest folly of BoTW imo was making the most compelling characters the dead or inactive ones, it's why I say AoC was a better story than BoTW, because it uses all the best characters to the fullest extent, and takes the ones that weren't as strong and lifts them up. Because of that, I think it was smart to not make the dead characters as lively again, because now people won't get hung up over them again.

But, on that note, I think that it genuinely makes them pretty unnecessary. I feel like there would've been better mileage just making Rauru narrate that and tell the new sages what their ancestors did so we have one super strong character compared to a few ones that feel a bit unnecessary. And while Rauru is only going to get stronger, probably, I think it could be cool to just have him mirror Link a bit and remember and lament his friends some.

So far, these stories feel very identical, it's just a With Friends sort of deal that I like mechanically and think is being played very well, I just also think that pretending these two stories are super different is a little far fetched. The new sages have more potency because you work with them for the whole dungeon and boss, which I love, it gives them more energy and supports their personalities a lot more, and does more to convey the idea that yes, Hyrule was attempting to move on from the champions by no longer having the mindset that only a champion can save them. The new guys are here to help, and they're not abandoning their fate to one guy anymore. BUT, in my mind that feels like a retooling of BoTW's story to better convey a point that didn't land right in BoTW.

Gameplay, I have nothing to say or complain about. It's the most flawless part of this game, they took botw and made it better in basically every way. If I had to say something, I do miss premade elemental arrows, because pressing up on the D-pad every time is such a time waster that I just forget half the time. Also these monsters are fuckin spooky and I hate it. /pos

Finally, the world. I won't say that I'm happy with, or understand why none of the shiekah tech is anywhere anymore. I get it, with the new shrines and towers, it'd be so much shit just all over, but it's still hard to believe that all vanished and just deactivated, especially because there's really no reason to have new towers, but of course, that's for a gameplay feature rather than a lore feature, so I suppose that's a moot point. What really gets me about this fuckin world is HOLY SHIT WHY IS THERE SO MUCH TO DO. I cannot focus at all and that's both a benefit and a detriment to me because botw let me laser focus on things which is good for my easily distractable mind and I've yet to hear one person say otherwise on the idea that there's too much to focus on. It's never a negative thing when mentioned by folks, and I don't think it is, but FUCK I need an alternate game mode that just hides like 70% of the quests until you complete some because having these all accessible means I will never finish this main story.

Also, fuck the depths. That's it, fuck the depths.

I like this game. It's just kinda weird, something is preventing me from loving it, and I hope that resolves by the end because I really would like to love it, and say it's better than botw, but as far as I'm concerned I don't think I have a severe preference for either one.

[fuckyeahneopia]

This post is from a month and a half ago. It has nothing to do with the Seasonal Attack Pea. It was actually about Daily Quests.

While most of this context about the attack pea drama is accurate, and I have great respect for the amount of detail you went into, some of the more recent drama is a compilation of hearsay and rumor. While I respect your wish to cite sources, after the first part a lot of it is just regurgitating the drama from reddit, which is a mix of true and false. While the source might exist, their reliability varies.

Apologies in advance for this word vomit, but I don't want my original post to be spread with well-meaning but not-entirely-accurate context.

The ambassadors in question with regard to the pea are multiple people, and have been conflated into a single individual in the stupidly expanded drama that was fanned on reddit, which was started by someone with their own... questionable background. The one from JN, Herdy, is not a JN admin, but the person in charge of the Book of Ages - aka the giant section about characters and site/pet history. He also was not the only ambassador talking about that feedback (though he definitely was a key one to do so publicly). I have also not seen anything where he claimed he knew anyone who had one previously - the person who said that, IIRC, was lilangel - one of the few ambassadors who definitely is Rich-Rich beyond doubt, and imo was more annoying about this whole situation.

Herdy and some of the other ambassadors said they shared their feedback. Could they have done that better? Sure. It came across really poorly, and understandably left a bad taste in people's mouths. (and tbh the execution of the whole 'ambassador' program has been a hot mess on TNTs side. We honestly don't know what TNT listen on or do, just a list of ambassador usernames to either harass or fawn over. Some of them are definitely people with a lot of money and means. Others are from things like the Neopets Nation facebook group or Discord server). A lot of the early negative feedback came not from the neo-billionaires, but from the BD chat, a group you covered early on. As you mentioned, there are still a small but significant number of players who really care about the on-site battledome and hold their own tournaments, etc. Their concern - at least going on what was happening on the neobards - was that one of the most powerful weapons in the game was potentially going to become so widely available that all the other weapons would be moot. Most of them didn't have one, but worried about the impact on the things they did have and how it would change the gameplay. While I can't say I -get- the concern, as non-battler, that was where a lot of the initial drama started. There were few enough Seasonal Attack Peas beforehand that even most of the uber-rich didn't have one to lose value on (unless they got one from duping/cheating, in which case they wouldn't care because they'd just dupe/cheat for a different rare item). I don't think that's worthy of cancelling its release altogether, but at least in-context at the time, most of the people active on that board - and sending their feedback en masse - were freaking out about their whole BD being upended. People who were excited about the release weren't sending feedback, because they were just excited, and negative feedback is more frequently sent than positive feedback. Because TNT told everyone the ambassadors' neopets usernames, they were going to get a shit ton of feedback from people who were upset and wanted to say that to someone who couldn't ignore them as easily as the actual paid staff. People like most of the rest of us were never going to bother with that, because we had no idea how it would escalate.

However, I do think it's notable that the ambassadors ... told people they shared that negative feedback. From neo_truth's logs (which should be taken with a grain of salt, and are definitely of sketchy origin, but have long been pretty reliable), the timing doesn't seem to have much of anything to do with the timing of the drama on and offsite, more like the timing of someone on TNT who realized they fucked up in the first place and tried to fix it. But also, the ambassadors did say that they'd shared that feedback. So anyone who thought it was going to have an impact had the same chance to buy/sell/what have you. If I wanted to do insider trading, I would just... not tell everyone that I asked for things to be changed? There was also rampant speculation as to whether it would change from early in the morning, so people were already expecting the chance of it going away. Peas were selling like hotcakes because people wanted them.

As for the Jellyneo person 'caught' selling a pea... it's a player who is regularly active in buying and selling in the auction house, and works on the item database. If you follow the auctions regularly, or talk to any of the people who are absurdly involved, there was nothing unusual about him buying a single pea and then reselling it (several of them commented as such on reddit). Him getting it in someone else's auction in the first place was because there were a ton of people aiming for it at a lowball price and he just got lucky when it ended (god the fucking auction house timing is a whole different thing). Other people were doing it at the same time. When he sold it right after, went for like 7x what he initially listed, which a seller doesn't really control. All they DO control in the auction house is the bid increase amount. When people list items with a low bid increase amount, you can only bid that increase amount + 5000 NP. Someone who underprices their item or lists like '100 np' as the increase amount is going to have huge demand, but unlike eBay it'll never go up to the max price people are willing to pay - because you can only increase so much at a time. Time runs out before it has the chance to get to its actual value. This second person, as well as other players who bought and resold, got one that was underpriced with a low increase, and sold it with a higher increase that ended up going from 50 mil to 350 mil. The demand was there from the get-go. The only example of someone from JN selling a pea I've seen is this one, and then people trying to claim it was 'just one example' while having no others. At any given time, though, hundreds of other players were just as active in trying to buy and sell peas.

What was definitely true was that many people noticed a severe dearth of new peas on the market, suddenly. If you went into those reddit threads (where many were left with low numbers of upvotes, apparently because they weren't just... agreeing with all the drama?), a number of players who are active in the auctions/trading post/restockers/etc. said they noticed that suddenly something had changed, with no "new" peas appearing on the market and that's why pea prices increased. You could also follow the active speculation on the neoboards and discord as it happened. This was the timing where it was apparently broken for a while before being fixed to the correct lower rarity.

As for what neo_truths was saying - it was clear that it was meant to be a rare item from the get-go, and the person who added it into the code fucked up, and then fucked up again. They mixed up their distribution math, and in attempting to fix it accidentally disabled it entirely before eventually getting it to the proper rate. It expanded into drama that Neopets is well-known for. I love-hate this stupid hellsite. I wish I didn't know as much about this particular drama as I do. I wish I had a Seasonal Attack Pea.

I appreciate you trying to share context, but spreading more rumors really doesn't help.

TL;DR: this post was initially not related to the stupid pea at all. It was, in fact, closer to the 100k.

[just-norn-things]

Hello! You've found this page, so you've probably seen most of this pinned post before.

This thing exists to separate my writing and general creative shenanigans from my main GW2 blog @violentnornography.

You'll find fics, art, asks, headcanons and general oc chatter here. Quite happy to receive in-character asks, if that's your thing.

As before, interactions come from @pocketgoth, and I'll be rambling about the same characters, probably even more vehemently.

Self-indulgent fanfiction writer and screenshot queen.

Character lore and little drabbles I write for fun will be tagged here, my main WIPs and anything M+ rated will be on AO3 only.

This blog will be SFW.

Fair warning: This blog is new and a complete WIP, so some links in this post may link to my other blog until I sort my life out. Please bear with. TYVM <3

Without further ado, roll call:

Kara Brunhilda Jorgensdottir

Norn, Follower of Wolf, Pact Commander.

Born 1309 AE. Soulbeast, Chef, Cat Enthusiast. Other titles involving gods and dragons have also occasionally been mentioned, but she's mostly about the cats. Might have the best booty in Hoelbrak. Will beat you up, and apologise after. Proper and dignified, tries desperately to live up to her own legend. Jumps off cliffs for fun. Once killed a forged forerunner and stole its boots just for the flaming surfboard. Best Friends: Torvi Scorchgear, Rytlock Brimstone and Canach. Mate: Braham Eirsson. Eventually. If they can stop bickering for five minutes. Canach has a betting pool, if you're interested. Ship-related posts are here

Warmaster Torvi Scorchgear

Norn, Follower of Bear, Warmaster of the Vigil.

Born 1308 AE. Engineer, Flamethrower only. Honorary-turned-full member of the Gear Warband. Only dates Charr. Kara's childhood friend. Party goblin. Will encourage you to be feral. Knows what you did at the last alemoot, and now so does half of Hoelbrak. Guest stars in the main fic any time the Vigil shows up, will be mentioned semi-regularly. Mate: Mangonel Gearstrip. They've been ride or die since they got drunk and stole a tank together, and no, they don't want your opinion, thanks. Hoping to adopt a cub or two when Torvi retires from the Vigil. Ship-related posts here.

Rhianwen

Soundless Sylvari. Pale Reaver.

Born in the Cycle of Night, 1305 AE. Reaper. Obligate Carnivore. Swamp Witch. Will safely deliver your baby. Probably won't eat it. Can craft you a tonic to fix just about anything. Definitely not undead. Joined the campaign to Maguuma as a personal favour to Trahearne. After he is captured by Mordremoth, she puts heavy pressure on the Commander to push forward to rescue him, no matter the cost. Was gifted the remains of Caladbolg for her efforts, though she does not generally wield it.

Yngvar the Aberrant

Norn, Follower of Wolverine.

Yngvar is my brand new child and will get a proper character profile at some point, but for now:

Lives in the Aberrant Forest. Cannot become the Wolverine at will, but has the weirdest dreams about it. Boneskinners are friendly towards him, for no apparent reason. Will feature semi-heavily when my fic gets to the Bjora Marches.

Aaria

Norn, Vindicator, Alliance Stance, Follower of No-one.

Aaria is an old, neglected child of mine I found it in my heart to start developing, so watch this space!

Traditional Norn nomadic lifestyle in the cental Shiverpeaks, Aaria often only returns to Hoelbrak for moots. Hammer enthusiast, enjoyer of women. Channels Jormag when they are awake. She is largely unaffected by their persuasion, but doesn't mind the company. Jormag is a hell of a conversationlist, and whilst it irritates them that Aaria is immune to their charms, they do have some lovely chats.

*****

*Names are OC names, may not match in-game names*

[the-travelling-witch]

Heyooo

There's a saying that goes "It takes an amazing author to know an amazing author" and considering you are a really good author {who deserves so much more recognition than you get but don't worry I know you'll get there}

But can you recommend some of your favorite/most highly rated fics the genres don't matter? Some authors write good ones but some are just hella ooc and cringe.

i’m really flattered you think i’m a good author, i honestly can’t see it myself but thank you ଘ(੭˃ᴗ˂)੭

it’s been a while since i actively read fanfic, so this list probably isn’t as extensive as it should be; i’ll try to structure this to the best of my abilities and i might add more in the future ♡ there’s so much good content to recommend, my brain just flaked on me especially when it came to recommending fics specifically, so i probably forgot half of all the blogs and fics i want to recommend </3

genshin impact ❀

blogs:

@dustofthedailylife- my lovely moot but i promise i’m not playing favourites, her fics are really high quality; if you’re looking for a longer fic, check out her series ‘a heart of stone is a heart nonetheless’

@witch-hazels-musings*- i don’t think i have to say a lot about my fellow witch, hazel; if you haven’t heard of her blog yet, welcome to tumblr, it’s great to have you here

@genshin-karebear*- another talented author i’m sure you’ve heard of already (and if you haven’t, this is your sign)

@primofate*- wow i’m really just recommending blogs all of you already know, huh? not only does lena write for a multitude of fandoms, the variety of characters she includes is nothing to sneeze at

fics:

yours truly/ sincerely by @xiaowhore

subtle by @glazelilyy* (nsfw implications, so you get a star)

genshin boys as your prom knight by @alatusxiaoo

this theory by @zaneswhite

this helpful tidbit on scara’s hat by @kyquu

haikyuu ❀

blogs:

@luvbub- if you’re looking for lots of cute and fluffy fics with some angst sprinkled in between, this cutie is the blog to go to

@toru-oikawas-milkbread*- looking for a wide variety of written fics and smaus? well look no further, kasey is here to save the day!

fics:

the flirt by @cutenimi (skater!suna makes my head spin)

victory high by @kewrai (honestly you can go through the whole masterlist, everything is good, why didn’t i just put you in the blog section of this post?)

cold brew by @meiansmistress*

what the haikyuu boys (realistically) wear by @ryoccoon (not technically a written fic but i want to mention it anyway; also, rose, if you see this, your blog is so cute and aesthetic~)

tokyo revengers ❀

blogs:

you can basically look at my moots list and have your pick but i’d like to filter out @crown5* @softbajis* @feitania* @virtue-and-beneviolence*

fics:

bonten husband fics by @sukirichi*

trouble by @sakusins* (this one belongs in the blog section as well)

touch starved + feeling loved by @kshira*

this edit by @haruchyio* (i’ve seen this video in so many variations and it’s still so funny to me)

miscellaneous fandoms ❀

@demonfamilytherapist [obey me!] (i recommend especially the pact mark headcanons and aftermath of lesson 16)

@house-of-laminations [obey me!] (if you’re a sucker for world building like i am, this is a gold mine; i also recommend evolutionary biology 101 with prof. mc, i had a good laugh reading it)

@aemoonie and @k-rising [kpop, zodiac] (even if you don’t like kpop, their astrology content is still really interesting)

this case study on bakugou katsuki by @randommha

fanart ❀

i could go ahead and tell you that all their art is incredible and that i enjoy each and every art style found on this list but i honestly think you should go and see for yourself ✧.*

@koyuxim

@kkumri

@burucheese

@emaiiyaru

@chouchen

@ainudraws

appreciation/ mail blogs ❀

not really fanfic blogs either but they allow people to send anonymous love to genshin creators on tumblr, which i think is such a cute idea it deserves to be mentioned ༊*·˚

@teyvatmail

@sakurashrine

@teyvatlove

*=this blog posts/ interacts with 18+ content

this list has officially drifted away from being about fanfics, so i’ll end it here (as i said i might expand it in the future); i hope all of you don’t mind being mentioned here and i’m sorry to everyone i might have forgotten ♡

[cosmiclatte28]

Friendship, Love, Courage

MY FIRST EVER COLLAB!! HOSTED BY THE WONDERFUL @danishmiilk

Characters: Renjun x reader, NoMin!

Fluff romance

Warning : mentions of “stealing”, quite a broken trust but its ending nicely

TW : Stress (?)

HERE WE GO!! I worked so hard on this (even had 2 other friends checked on this and they approved this thanks to both of you #they’re_not_in_tumblr

word count : 12 pages idk how much but come on finish it for me 🥺🥺🥺 thanks

tagging @yutahoes @neopalette @full-hd-sun @swagmonsterofficial @nini-eexxo @hen-marks99 At this point I'm just tagging my moots coz this was my first attempt of collab and i deadass worked so hard on this... it better be read by someone even if they don't like it but they read it 🤭💖 @superm-net @multifandomnet @trashlord-007 @ahsshilee-me @charmingyong

You smile shyly when the cute prefect in blue robe tosses a small smile to you when you pass by him on the moving stairs. He continues his tour of guiding the new wizards and witches into the magical castle, telling them stories, showing them the common room, and helping them adjust to the new living area.

You gasp when you feel a slap on your shoulder, quickly you turn your head to face the now annoyed friend standing beside you.

“Really (y/n)? You’re once again frozen in place when that honey boy you adore walks by.” Jaemin, in his green robe, slicks his blonde hair away while throwing some flirty smile to the younger girls passing by the two of you. They chuckle and blush at his action, unaware of the fact that Na Jaemin already has his eyes on someone.

You glare at him, quickly covering his mouth before catching attention of the living paintings hung on the walls. No, not even the paintings should know about your feelings to that cute Ravenclaw prefect.

“Shut that big mouth of yours please. Don’t you know the walls have ears here?!” you dust off your red robe and continue walking to the dining hall. Shaking aside the cute smile of Huang Renjun away from your head. You’ve met Renjun from the first day of school, he was pure blood with the Hatstall incident at his sorting ceremony. The sorting hat spent a good five minutes pondering if he should be in Ravenclaw or Slytherin. Alas the house of the witty won the cute half-blood. As much as you wish to get sorted into the same house as his (mainly because he is cute), once the hat is on, it sorted you to the house of the brave. You’re still happy though to be one of the brilliant half-bloods in the Gryffindor house.

Renjun was very nice of you, when you first felt lonely in the big school (funny how you, a Gryffindor can feel lonely eh? But that’s your life). When you were struggling to find your way through the halls you had to thank Renjun for accompanying you whenever you had to move classes. But your relationship with him is purely just as close as a stranger. Renjun never sits beside you, nor does he hang out with you, he sits with his own smart gang. For two years he purely just helped you get around the halls. Instead of befriending Renjun, you become friends with the two wizards in your batch, the generous Hufflepuff who helps you ace your Herbology class: Lee Jeno. He is your first bestie, and since he enjoys your loud and fun personality, he calls you one of his friends.

The handsome blonde in green robe by your side earlier is your other best friend, Na Jaemin. A pureblood descending from the Slytherin family. You don’t know how Jaemin wants to be friends with you, a Gryffindor, but here you are. If Jeno helps you with herbology, Jaemin is there for you in potion classes. Though at first you think Jaemin is just using you to help him pass transfiguration and magical creatures. Turns out it was the total opposite, Jaemin is interested in Jeno, and the only person he sees is nice enough to be his wingman is you.

You don’t mind this though since you’ve seen how sincere Jaemin is when it comes to defending you and cheering you up. You know it’s just his ego that doesn’t let him say he is being friends with you because you two click. Screw anyone who made the unwritten rules that a Slytherin and Gryffindor cannot be friends. Well you understand since he is a Pure Slytherin. No one expects Slytherin to befriend Gryffindor even worse a half blood.

Back to the mean time, you walk with Jaemin on your side to reach the library where Jeno has reserved a place for you two. It’s your fourth year in Hogwarts which means you and your friends have to start preparing for the O.W.L test to be taken in your last fifth year. Although the three of you are gifted with brilliant heads, no one can slack their O.W.L and expect to pass. Here you are, limiting your free time and getting your ass dragged by Jeno to always study when you have free time.

“I miss playing quidditch.” You whisper after one hour of sitting down in the library and sticking your nose into the lines and lines of scribbles.

Jeno snickers, “You miss quidditch or you miss being in the same air as Renjun?”

You slap his hand that lays on the table and the young boy groans, “You’re evil! You could be in Slytherin, gosh thank heaven you’re not there or you’ve turned me into a stone.”

Jaemin just smirks, well he likes this side of you. The semi-evil part in your innocent-like façade.

“Dramatic, Lee Jeno. I love flying on the broom and chasing the balls.” You lied and if someone had given you the Veritaserum, Jeno’s guess was right. Your team likes to practice with the Ravenclaw’s team; don't ask why when your team captain is clearly flirting with the Ravenclaw’s captain.

“Come on, no one will buy that lie. It’s been four years of secretly crushing Renjun, why don’t you try to at least “befriend” him.” Jaemin sets aside his book and rests his chin on one of his hands.

You focus back on your book, trying to not fall into Jaemin’s hypnotizing eyes that can make you spill truths. “I am his friend. He never calls me an enemy.”

“Yeah not like that, I mean bring him here to our group study, ask him to sit with you during mealtimes. Invite him to join us when we’re strolling around Hogsmeade.” Jeno whispers.

The three of you shut up when a shadow appears on your table and drop a pile of books.

“Excuse me, mind sharing the table? The place is full and yours is the only one available.” A soft voice greets three of you and like robots, you turn your heads slowly to widen your eyes and gasp when the guy of your gossip is standing here.

“Oh Renjun, yes you can. Please,” Jaemin kindly brings his books to his side and you throw him a death glare. Well, the available space is the one on your side.

“Thank you, hey (y/n)! It’s been a while,” Renjun smiles at you. You just smile and nod, well yes you rarely see him in class, mostly because your schedule didn’t match his and both of you stopped playing quidditch.

You swear, that was the longest one hour in your life. Renjun’s soft sweet fragrance of sweet baked vanilla from the side is enough to make your heart beat faster, not to mention how cute he looks with his glasses when he is focusing on the charm textbook. You know if this guy is going to sit here all day, none of the materials written in the book will be planted in your brain. Still, Jeno and Jaemin had the audacity to invite Renjun into your small study group.

“Hey Renjun, next time why don’t you join us to study for O.W.L?” Jeno asks when all of you clean up your belongings and head for dinner.

Renjun’s smile lights up and he laughs nervously, “Well if that is okay with three of you, I don’t have any friends to study with yet.”

“You’re most welcome here! Just ask (y/n) later about our meeting times. Jeno can help with herbology and I can help with Potions. You can help us with charms! (y/n) here is the queen of transfiguration.” Jaemin welcomingly says all of this. Though most people may be blinded by his sweet words, you want to smack the life out of him when you see his glinting eyes taunting you.

You want to object, saying that his schedule won’t work with yours, but the cat has your tongue and all you can do is stay quiet as Renjun thanks Jaemin for inviting him to the group.

With that, Renjun chooses to walk around the grounds for a while before dinner. Your heart is bursting any second whenever he looks up to glance at the sky and you can see his perfectly sculptured face. No, it is not awkward, he casually talks with you about how he also misses quidditch, he also shares funny stories of the first-year students getting lost in the hallways just like you. Is he teasing you about getting lost in the hallway? Well since it is Renjun you just smile, had it been Jeno or Jaemin their hairs would already be in your hand.

“They’re just like you. Looking so cute when they’re lost and confused, afraid to miss their class.” Renjun stares at you and you laugh.

“I know, it was hard okay memorizing this big hall! Not to mention the moving stairs.” You finally feel less nervous and you can start talking with less stuttering.

“Well, if you’re ever confused just call me. I’ll assist you again like back then.” He chuckles and you laugh.

Well, you sort of have to treat Jeno and Renjun for a butterbeer maybe, thanks to them you finally get to walk around and talk with Renjun on the ground after four years.

That night on the paved grounds. You sit down while playing with your wand, swishing it while practicing some chants (without actually doing it). You sit on one of the grounds, leg straight while you lean on one of the pillars there. There is a soft footstep coming to you and someone took the opposite part of the pillars. You turn your head to catch Renjun’s body mirroring yours, but he is holding a book.

“Complicated.” He shrugs coyly.

You toss your head to the side and smile "Renjun, how did you find me? " Your easy-going Gryffindor traits show up and Renjun calmly looks up from his book to look over his shoulder to you too. “Maybe from this?” he offers you a Marauder’s Map and you gasp.

“How can you have one?” you want to take it from his hand, but he is faster.

Before you can ask more questions, Renjun diverts the topic and asks you about the group study. "So, are you sure your Slytherin and Hufflepuff boys want me to be in the group?" Renjun bashfully asks you this.

You laugh "They're more than happy when you accept their offer. Truth is we all suck at the hard charms. We need a tutor and we also need one more friend to make the space full. You're on our first list."

"I am honored to be first in the list, and I also like having friends to study with. So, tell me what the schedule is." With that, you wave your wand to bring you a piece of paper. "Accio schedule." The schedule paper lands on Renjun's slender fingers from your small pocket and the soft looking boy runs his eyes through the timetable. "Great, I can adjust my classes for this." You feel your heart can't take it anymore when he looks into your eyes deeply.

"So, see you tomorrow afternoon." You stand up trying to leave the ground, since the sleeping hours are coming, but his hand reaches for your wrist. "Sorry, do you want to go watch the quidditch practice between our team tomorrow? It's after lunch." Renjun scratches his neck. You nod "I will!" He smiles "Great, see you! Good night."

You raise your eyebrow "My hand" And he gasps as he lets go of your wrist. "Sorry" Both of you laugh and you finally go back to your room. Things were great, you and Renjun slowly became closer.

You hate the silly rules of staying over your own common room. Like dang you want to meet Renjun in his common room, but you know you’re not the smartest one to unlock their password. Not to mention you are not ready to have eyes pierced on you as you enter the room (if you ever succeed)

So, you end up only able to meet Renjun when he sees you on the hallway and with Jeno and Jaemin. He sometimes appears to you in the garden and you once found him chilling on the school’s astronomy tower in the middle of the night. He’s daring enough to leave his bed and you found him stargazing.

After your one encounter on the astronomy tower, that becomes your regular meeting place with Renjun.

Like tonight, both of you sneaked out of your beds, tiptoeing perfectly through the stairs. Somehow escaping the ears of Mr Filch and voila both of you are smiling ear to ear as the moonlight glows through your faces.

You sit on the porch, suddenly regretting your stupid head for forgetting the scarf. The wind is pretty harsh, and you try to hug your body. Renjun is busy watching the sky through his binoculars. You gave him your binoculars when you discovered he also loves space and the galaxy.

“Want to look at the stars?” Renjun looks at you and hands you the binocular. You nod your head while trying your best to not shake from the cold, but it is cold.

“Silly, forgot your scarf?” he unwinds his own blue silver knit scarf and steps closer to wrap it over you.

“What about you?” you feel worried about his condition. Renjun only shakes his head, “I wore warmer clothes. Also, you shouldn’t fall sick. You need to prepare for your O.W.L tomorrow. Just watch the sky.” He quickly changes the topic when he sees your annoyed face of bringing up O.W.L

You take his advice when he pushes your body to face the sky and you bring the object to your eyes. He was right, the night sky is always mysterious and calming, somewhere out there two of you believe another universe with aliens exists.

Renjun secretly watches you in admiration. He never expects to get this close with you, physically and mentally. By now, he knows your most embarrassing story, your favorite food, and your favorite star.

“Renjun! Quick make a wish!” you tug on his sweater and pull his hand when your eyes catch a shooting star.

Renjun is quick to realize your hand is still squeezing his arm, but he closes his own eyes and makes his own wish. You wish with all your might, things will be better for you and Renjun. You want him, you love him and basically, you’re so ready to risk everything just to get him. Creepy? No, that is love.

“So, what did you wish for?” he whispers near your ear, you see him shivering so you naturally take off the scarf and try your best to share it between both of you.

Renjun’s cheek blushed, “Didn’t think of that. You sure are smarter at things like that.”

You giggle “About your question, don’t you know a wish should remain secret or it won’t work.”

The young man scoffs, “You believe that?”

You nod “Well I thought you do too.”

Renjun smiles, “Fine. I will also keep mine.”

You can no longer hold back your yawn and you realize if both of you stay in this cold air, you’ll need to call in sick and that is not happening. Not when you need to catch up on all class materials.

“See you Injun-ah,” you wave as you drape the scarf back on him. He smells your sweet musk perfume and something tingles Renjun’s mind.

He remembers he had smelt that same hint of scent somewhere, but where. In confusion, the Ravenclaw walks back to his room. Only when his head hits his pillow does he finally remember where he encountered that smell. None other than that silly amortentia potion class. Take a whiff and you’ll know who that special person is.

“Tell me again how he always managed to find you?” Jaemin asks you about how Renjun always finds you. Both of you are sitting in the garden, taking a whiff of fresh air.

You sigh, you know you shouldn’t be telling him this, but you think Jaemin can keep secrets.

“He has a Marauder’s map.” You whisper under your breath.

Jaemin’s eyes lighten and his jaw drops. He really looks glowing with happiness like he won a lottery.

“(Y/n)~” his sing-song tone comes out and you mutter a curse under your breath. Oh no, he is going to ask you something. Which is true.

“Is it possible if you borrow the map from Renjun? Just for a second.” He pouts and draws random lines on your arm. You pull your hand away and slap his hand “What are you thinking? Go borrow by yourself.”

He drives his eyes to his feet, “I really need it, but I guess Renjun won’t let me borrow it.”

You scoff “You know it already. I never even touched it Jaem, it’s really precious after all.”

Jaemin, a total charmer, looks you in the eyes with his sickening puppy eyes “Please, I need it to meet Jeno secretly too! He seems tired but he is hiding it from us…”

“Your point?” you cut the crap out of him.

Jaemin smiles and you see his cunningness really popping up when he bribes you to help him “Point is, can you just take the map from him for a while and then I’ll use it to find Jeno, then you return it to him. Simple!”

You groan “How is that simple? That’s stealing!”

“Borrowing, just that he won’t realize it’s ever gone from his hand.” Jaemin shrugs his shoulder

“It’s not an honest game. You said ``borrow not steal and return.”

“Then try borrowing it from him, he doesn’t talk to me about the map so it’ll be weird if I ask him about that. He will be mad at you for spilling secrets and I know you love him so much.” He smirks, knowing that he won your internal battle.

You sigh, Jaemin really traps you in the mouse trap eh?

“Fine, let me try to borrow it from him. What will I get in return?”

“Woah you're so calculative! I thought we are friends and friends help each other?”

You really regret not joining Jeno to study with Renjun, this Slytherin man is really cunning… luring you to leave the library to “take in the fresh air” but ended up dealing with a dangerous project.

“Okay if you insist, I’ll say if the map worked, I’ll be able to accompany Jeno and he will be happier and you want to see Jeno happier right? Also you’re my best greatest courageous friend, isn’t this like a challenge?” he stares at you with great compassion plus hitting your chivalry ego and since no one is there to slap you, you nod your head.

“Okay Jaemin.” The Gryffindor spirit of not thinking about an action carefully is here.

Jaemin smirks and waves you goodbye after slipping a small tube of potion to your hand. He disappeared like that and you start to think of a way to talk with him about the map, while staring at disbelief for the Felix Felicis in your hand. Dang that Slytherin boy really is questionable.

You spend the afternoon thinking of a way to get Renjun’s map and you finally choose to ask him slowly.

“Renjun! What are the things you always keep in your bag?” you ask randomly but Renjun and you did this a lot of time, so he doesn’t smell your smoke.

He thinks for a while, “Nothing much, books and the map, some quills and chocolates? Why?”

You nod “It’s okay, just curious.”

He doesn’t pester you about it, only talking more about different things.

“Hey, tomorrow is Sunday. Mind to just sit and enjoy the day off? We sit in the fountain courtyard.”

Your brain finds a chance to take his map and so you nod your head.

--

You drop the Felix Felicis potion on your breakfast tea that Sunday morning and you meet Renjun who is looking so good in his casual outfit.

You’re nervous, though luck is favoring you, you are still battling yourself whether you should just snatch the map or ask him nicely.

After talking about different things and driving his attention to other things, you inch closer to Renjun and stare at his lips. Somehow your brain is focused on his lips and oh did you forget you took a potion this morning?? Because your silly head wants to kiss his lips so bad and luck is really on your side.

“Why are you staring at my lips? You really like them don’t you?” Renjun boldy asks, something so uncommon about him.

You gulp and blush, but your heart secretly wants to kiss him.

“Come here,” he pulls your hand closer and once your shoulder crashes with his, he kisses you right in the middle of the day when everyone can see you two sharing a slow kiss.

Your head almost stops working but suddenly Jaemin’s shadow appears in your mind and you quickly put your hand into Renjun’s bag. You didn’t know the lucky potion could be this wonderful because once your hand enters the bag you find the paper already.

Renjun was so focused on the kiss that he didn’t notice your hand slipping the map to your pocket. Only when you’re done did you finally break the kiss.

He blushes and you chuckle “That was intense.”

Yes the kiss was intense but the reason your heart beats super-fast is because of the action you just did. Stealing.

“I love you Renjun,” you whisper, feeling a bit sad for lying to him… but you don’t want to be embarrassed after what you did go well.

“I love you too, I didn’t know our feelings were mutual.” He innocently rubs his burning face and you want to die from lying with him.

“Renjun, sorry for suddenly leaving, but I have to go, I got something to do.” You stand up from the grounds.

“Huh? Oh okay I guess you look rushed.” He stands up too, “Where do you have to go? I can walk you there.”

You shake your head and reject his offer, “No, it’s personal. If you don’t mind, I’d rather go by myself. Bye Injun! See you!” you run away from him and disappear before he can even bid his farewell.

The ravenclaw just shrugs his shoulders and returns to his common room. When he kisses you earlier, he feels so fuzzy and fireworks are popping in his heart. As weird as it sounds, the kiss made him come up with a new imaginative creature.

Yes, Renjun is a ravenclaw who enjoys imaginative creatures. He is talented in drawing, so he spends his time sketching and naming creatures he has in his head. Though you may ask how a Ravenclaw believes in uncertain things with no concrete proof, Renjun has been hiding this guilty pleasure from anyone.

He hums as he sits on his chair and starts arranging his paints. The sun is angled perfectly at this time and he is more than excited to paint the new love creature he has in his mind.

On the other hand, you are running to meet Jaemin.

“I solemnly swear I am up to no goods.” You tap your wand and open the map to quickly find Jaemin.

There he is, somehow lurking in the dining hall. Weird.

You pocket the map and make your way to him.

“Use this quickly. I don’t know how long it takes for Renjun to notice.” You stuff the map into Jaemin’s pocket.

His eyes twinkle “Oh gosh you did it. You do this for me? Thank you!” he taps your shoulder and flies away “I’ll return it to you once I am done. Promise.”

You just wait for him with anxiety crawling in your heart. Something about stealing, lying, and using potion is just not settling well in your Gryffindor heart. You let out a deep breath, and relax a bit.

Only that it didn’t even last long and things are going downhill from here.

While you wait nervously in the dining room, you find yourself face to face with a fuming and disappointed Renjun. “You stole the map, didn’t you?!” he holds back all the anger inside to avoid reaching for your collar.

You gulp, of course he noticed. It’s been almost two hours. Couldn’t Jaemin find Jeno, bring Jeno to return the map to you then go disappear somewhere. Why should you wait for this long.

“I-“ you stutter “I’m sorry.” You apologize, your heart tells you lying more will just bring you to a deeper pit.

Renjun shakes his head, “You stole but I’m hurt you tricked me! Did you mean the kiss or not?”

Your eyes widened, he was just confused about the kiss? Oh how cute. You want to open your mouth, but it looks like the cat got your tongue again and Renjun was faster in assuming things when he is angry.

“You know what? I don’t care about your kiss, I don’t even care about your explanation. Give it back.” His palm opens up to you and you bite your lips “It’s not with me.”

His eyes would pop off from his head “You what? You lost it or gave it to someone?”

Damn Ravenclaws and their quick brains.

“I’ll give it back to you, I promise.” You reach out for his hand, but he snatches his hand away to his chest before you can appeal to him.

“You know what? I found it already.” He looks over your shoulder and sees Jaemin coming to you with a troubled face.

“And by the look of Jaemin’s face, I guess this is not my day.” Renjun sounds super sad and you hate yourself for actually starting all of this. He was in a super good mood earlier and you ruined everything. Now will you ruin your friendship too? and love interest.

You heard Jaemin apologizing (something so uncommon) about something and the next second, you don’t hear anything from Renjun’s lips, just an eerie silence between them and suddenly the man in blue sweater runs away from you and Jaemin.

“I may or may not have accidentally been caught by some other Slytherin, and they wanted to see the map. It ripped.” Jaemin mutters slowly and you feel your world has stopped turning and you should just leave Hogwarts before facing Renjun.

--

Renjun left both of you and there’s nothing you can do. There is, but your brain stops working and your Gryffindor heart cowers and runs away. You sit devastated on the ground and Jaemin copies you.

“We can try to fix this map,” Jaemin tries to cheer you up but you shake your head “We can’t. Even if we can, I don’t think the bond of our friendship can be fixed.” you pull your knees to your chest and put your chin on them

“I’ll find a way to fix this. I promise, I broke the map so let me take the blame for this.” Jaemin stands up with the ripped map and he casts the repair charm.

You just stare at it soullessly. Well the map did come back into one piece, but Renjun’s disappointment can’t leave your head.

“I am sorry (y/n).” Jaemin sincerely apologizes to you and you just hum a silent reply

“Look, I believe Renjun will forgive you. He might not forgive me, but I deserve this. This is not your fault. I made you trick him. I am the guilty one.” your best friend tries to cheer you up, but your mind keeps on thinking Renjun.

--

That young ravenclaw did come into dinner, well he has to as he’s the prefect. But when you leave your chair to tap his shoulder and talk with him, he already leaves with the big group and you find yourself alone, losing your chance.

You ask around where he is, and everyone says he’s in the prefect bathroom enjoying a long bath. You hate how he has a hideout you can’t come to. So, the only thing you can do is wait.

You think of ways to apologize and how he can forgive you. Should you do his chores? Should you do his essays? gosh no he’s smarter than you. Should you buy him some new paint and drawing books? He likes to draw right, but you bite your lips when you remember your allowance this month was finished for good when you bought that new broom.

You go to the toilet, and come back to ask where he is on a passing Ravenclaw, only to curse when they said he is already in the common room.

Great, now you really won’t be sleeping tonight.

“Hey (y/n), I handed him the map already and asked sorry.” Jaemin suddenly taps your shoulder when you are walking to your room.

You just nod “Lucky you, looks like he is not that disappointed at you. Must be because he is afraid you’d turn him into a frog.” you try to tease Jaemin but even your own joke doesn't taste good in your tongue.

Renjun tries his best to avoid you, or more likely avoid hearing your apology or explanation about what happened that day. It’s as if you’re a deadly plague! He did show up a couple of times to the group study meetups, but he never talks to you about anything other than asking your question about the lesson or when the boys ask him about his nerves about the test.

You feel sick from all of the studying, but most of your stress comes from Renjun’s constant ignorance towards you. He did talk to you about other things, he explained to you the lessons you’re still struggling with but he never speaks of that day as if it never happens. Though some people like that better and just brush it off, like Jaemin for example. You’re not satisfied with this. You need his real acceptance of apology or you can’t feel ease in your heart.

You tried all you can, sending him a message filled with handwritten apology, a chocolate of his favorite brand, a chocolate frog, some badly drawn apology painting, a poem, and even try to bring up the conversation whenever you meet but he always finds a way to smile and drive the topic to another thing.

His playful gaze can still be felt by you and he still helps you occasionally in classes you struggle in. He even helps until the last days of the O.W.L test and the guilt in your heart is just piling up.

--

“Good luck on your O.W.L '' Renjun one night smiles at you after cleaning up the books and quills. You gasp “Thank you, you too and Renjun I am sorry.” you finally get the chance to utter your apology intimately without anyone else near you.

Renjun sighs “You’re still sad about that?” you bite your lips and nod “I can’t take it off my head.” The man in blue robes chuckles and messes your hair “Silly. Stop worrying about that. Just focus on your studies okay so that you can pass this O.W.L” you turn red from his action, heart beating super fast upon seeing his cute smile and hand touching your head.

“Alright, I need my sleep. You go to bed too okay, see you for breakfast tomorrow.” he tucks a hair away from your face and bops your nose. You see him walk away after saying good night and when you want to go to your room, you notice a blue scarf he left on the chair.

“Renjun forgot this.” you wrap it around your neck because you have lots of stuff to bring back and slowly you walk to your room, enjoying how his scent softly brushes your nose when the wind is blowing in your direction. You feel calm now that Renjun told you not to worry about it and seeing how he’s back to playing with your hair makes you feel less guilty.

“I’ll return this tomorrow,” you mumble to yourself only to wrap it tighter to your neck when you sleep.

--

The O.W.L this year is nerve consuming and stressful. You and the other students are all squeezed and no one is having their energy other than studying, eating and sleeping. You’ve talked less with the boys, you’re busy isolating yourself in the study room or just in the garden to study and focus on yourself. You also forget about Renjun’s scarf and he seems to forget it too, judging by how he is using another scarf.

All of you made it through the excruciating exam and finally you’re packing your suitcase.

“Are you ready to go home?” Jeno puts his face into your face on the morning of the beginning of the holiday. You have a beaming smile on your face and you happily hug him “Thank you for your help! I did my O.W.L nicely because of your help!” Jeno only chuckles and laughs at your remarks. He only plays with your hair and pushes you away only for you to hit Jaemin’s chest and the cheeky guy is not ready to catch you. You close your eyes, preparing yourself to hit the hard ground and be embarrassed for the rest of the year in Hogwarts, but you didn’t hit the ground. You open your eyes and see Jaemin already standing next to Jeno, eyes running through the hall as he winks and waves his hand to the passing students. So, who is holding you?

“Hoah easy Jeno, you pushed her too hard!” A soft voice you missed. A voice that sounds so cute when he whines or complains. A voice that has been whispering all day all night in your head. Renjun.

“Renjun! Sorry.” you brush yourself as you stand up and tidy your looks. Suddenly feeling conscious if you’ll look good. Renjun smiles, he has his trunk by his hand too, looks like every one of us is going home this Christmas.

“It’s great to see you before the long holiday, (y/n)!” Renjun pushes a small smile and you are busy reaching into your backpack for something. “I need to return this! You left it in the library last time.” you hand Renjun the neatly folded blue scarf which surprises him. “Oh it’s with you! I thought I lost it.”

You laugh “Sorry, I forgot to return it to you.” you extend your arm to him. Renjun quickly takes the scarf and opens it, the next thing you know is that he inches closer to you, wraps the scarf softly on your neck and his lips hover above your own lips. When you look into his orbs, you see how he’s waiting for your permission and while Renjun still has his hand holding on to the scarf on your neck, you close your eyes and feel him pull you by the scarf and seal your lips with a long quiet kiss.

You feel butterflies in your stomach as he gently keeps his hands moving to secure your neck and your heart is thumping so hard.

“I forgive you, go enjoy your Christmas.” Renjun sincerely laughs and kisses your cheek “So, from today is it day one?”

You nod “Day one!” Your heart feels light, the heavy guilty feeling in your heart is gone, his kiss shows how he is not angry at you and you feel his passionate and sincere desire to have you as his significant other.

Jeno and Jaemin pretend they don’t see both of you, just waving their hands to any passing students, telling them to send owls, saying they’ll see them next year and all the season greetings.

“Alright, my train is leaving love. I’ll see you next year. Send me an owl , okay!” Renjun pinches your cheek that’s super red from his sudden actions. You just have a big smile on your face as you nod and wave “See you soon!”

Jeno and Jaemin help you put your stuff into the car your brother has sent to pick you up. You thank the boys, hugging them for being here with you through ups and downs and you’ve made peace with Jaemin. That guy promised you he’ll bring you back your favorite candy from his hometown.

As you sit down in your car, head looking back to the majestic and mystical castle, you smile when you remember how Renjun pulls you into a very sweet kiss and that’s enough to show you how he’s not mad or disappointed at you. You were overthinking, but that’s you. That’s something about your gryffindor heart, always wanting to be responsible for your faults and it feels good to finally see Renjun saying he forgave you already.

Magic and love. Might work side to side, might not. Whichever that is the potion or your attitude, Renjun loves you the way you love him too and that’s what matters.

end

[an-aura-about-you]

fuck it, I'm gonna bitch about the book.

possible spoilers for the first half of Sleeping Beauties by Stephen King and Owen King but honestly this is gonna be pretty spoiler lite. Also to clarify: a friend loaned me her physical copy of the book, but I was struggling with actually reading it, so I borrowed an audio copy from my library. I refer to both in my rant.

So here's what we've got for the story: the action's set in a small Appalachian town during a strange global sleeping pandemic. (This came out in 2017.) But the thing about the pandemic is it only affects women. We're just gonna put a pin in that for the moment. Anyway, the people who fall asleep begin generating this webbing around them like cocoons. If someone cuts or tears the webbing away, the sleeping people wake up in a violent rage and mindlessly attacks whoever is there before going back to sleep. There are a ton of characters in this thing, but most of the action is taking place in a local women's prison and most of the characters are prisoners, police, or people related to the police or otherwise working in the women's prison.

Before I get to some of the big gripes, I'm going to actually talk about issues I have with the story itself. The first thing I noticed is that it's extremely repetitive. We've got four pages of characters when they're all listed out. (I know this because the book has four pages dedicated to listing them out.) And every single bleeding character has to have an encounter with the sickness they end up calling Aurora. Now that idea by itself is a good thing: I want to see the characters reacting to this. But I don't need the book acting like I don't know what the sleeping and the cocoons are every single time we do this. I understand that there are characters that don't know, but just because they have to go through the step by step of "What The Hell Is That?" doesn't mean I need to go through it again. Surely we can cut some of this down.

I know there was a post recently about giving critique and trying to make the story into one you would tell instead of the story the author's trying to tell. And I hope I'm not veering into that. But if I could suggest an idea here, I think this idea would have worked better as little vignettes. Hell, with the way the chapters are structured in different segments, it kind of seems like that's what Stephen and Owen were going for? But I'd probably prefer it if it were more focused like, "This chapter is all about X group of characters on Y day of the pandemic," and that's all we get of those characters until the end or unless they show up in someone else's story. Then the next chapter could do the same thing with some other characters at a later time.

But all of that feels like a moot point because I hate these characters! Seriously, the only character I liked at all is Evie, and apparently she's the villain! A lot of the characters I think we're supposed to like are cops and the story is trying to sell us on them being good people, but the story still includes the problems with the institution by making a character we're supposed to hate a cop, too. You can't tell me the cops are good if it takes them more than 10 chapters to fire a cop that's a known sex offender.

And since I'm starting to get into these issues, might as well keep going. Y'all know me, I enjoy my media, and sometimes I will engage with works that are Problematic. I'm not gonna go through my whole laundry list nor am I gonna attempt to justify anything as far as "why this and not that" arguments because really it's on a piece by piece basis. But this book infuriated me with its issues.

In addition to the stuff I've mentioned about the cops, I'm really uncomfortable with the fact that the one explicitly mentioned black character in the book, Frank, is a violent man. By that I mean he resorts to manhandling his daughter and using intimidation tactics to get her to listen to him, he trashes another person's car, the book repeatedly brings up an incident in which he punched a wall, and he once beat a man half to death. Though honestly I think that last one gets a pass because the asshole Frank beats half to death is a violent antisemite goosestepping son of a bitch. Because yeah, that's the dose of reality I needed right now! But holy shit, the book frames that whole reveal in a weird way because Frank's estranged wife brings up that incident and is like, "After you did that he beat his pregnant wife and she lost her baby. He wouldn't have done that if you hadn't kicked his ass." And I'm like, "??? Frank didn't tell that man to beat his wife! That part of the matter is in no way Frank's fault! Why are you throwing that man's responsibility dodging bullshit on Frank??"

And now it's time to get to the real sticking point: the bullshit gender essentialism. Available in misogyny, misandry, and transphobia! For how much they could have done with the premise, the people we see affected by Aurora are "everybody with a set of XX chromosomes." Every person who is depicted falling asleep and being cocooned in the story as far as I've listened is depicted as a cisgender perisex woman or girl. And nothing about the story that's been given to me indicates that it's thought any further than that. There's no talk about who might be affected among trans, nonbinary, or intersex people. The narration mentions XX chromosomes, but it's never in the context of anyone actually checking the chromosome makeup of anybody falling to Aurora. It's just given as another way to say, "women." There hasn't been any mention if it has to do with actual body parts, so I have no idea if, say, a woman who's had a hysterectomy would be affected. And I wouldn't even be thinking so much about the biology of this obviously supernatural illness IF THE BOOK HADN'T BEEN THE ONE TO BRING IT UP! And to top it all off, there's also a charming moment when the character Clint wonders if Evie might not be a woman since she is able to sleep without being cocooned, but he dismisses it since he knows she was seen naked when she was arrested and thus the cops would know if she's trans or intersex. And this isn't even going into the shit like multiple male characters thinking women are an impossible to understand hivemind, female characters that have managed to stay awake complaining about men suddenly being forced to take care of their own children and having no idea how, women lashing out at men to the tune of "YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS IS LIKE BECAUSE YOU HAVE A PENIS SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT IT!"

It was just so fucking exhausting, and I have no idea how I got as far as I did before I stopped.

[druidx]

OCs - Who the hell is: Rowan

(A short Original Character primer)

Universe: TES IV: Oblivion

What do they look like: This is moot - the whole point is they can look however you imagine them to look to satisfy your own interests.

What're they like? Rowan is sassy, honest, friendly and loyal. They are quick to emotion, be that anger or joy, and have a lot of empathy. They have a few mental issues – but who wouldn't after the Oblivion Crisis? They have a tendency to disassociate through the latter half of the MQ. This leads to them being perceived as cold and ruthless by the time they join the Dark Brotherhood. On the asexual spectrum (Martin's seduction is clearly effective, but they don't want to go to bed with him. They also lightly flirt with Baurus a lot).

Who are the main important people in their life? Baurus - Best bud Martin Septim - Does it need to be explained? Modryn Oreyn - Adopted Dad 1 Jauffre - Adopted Dad 2 Ramins Polus - Mage friend

Can you give us a highlight reel of their life? They grew up in Vvardenfell. Their mother was a mercenary (or so she's told Rowan), who became pregnant then inherited a small fortune. She invested her money into shops and farms, using the dividends to provide for her and her child. Rowan's mother never spoke of their father, and they've never been curious enough to ask. However, when Rowan was 15, their mother married one of the shop owners she had been dealing with for a while, a very handsome and kindly dunmer. While Rowan never saw him as a father figure, they did grow close and it's from him they gained their love of alchemy. When they were 10, their mother began teaching them how to fight, and at 20 (as their wanderlust was starting to show), packed them off to visit family friends in Anvil. Rowan never made it. They had a wonderful time trekking from Suran through Morrowind to the Valus Mountains and down into Cheydinhal. However, young and flush with confidence, they got embroiled in a fight that spiralled, and the next thing they knew, they were waking up to a cold cell and Valen Dreth's taunts...

What points in their life are you writing about? From the main quest on, beyond the "end" of the game by ~10 years

Who are they in real-world development terms? Rowan, or the Genderless!HoK as they have previously been known, was developed as part of my very first Oblivion fics, first in Avoiding the Emperor. Originally I was trying to keep any identifying marks such as fur/ scale, skin colour and gender not mentioned. They didn’t even have a name to start with, I was that dedicated to keeping their identity almost a self-inset “y/n” type thing. However, as I’ve written them more, it’s been harder and harder to stop from giving them at least a name. The background has been developed due to a new fic I’m working on for them, at which point I figured I may as well write it all up and add them officially as an OC.

[blue-opossum]

"Don't Reboot"

        Morning of December 10, 2020. Thursday.

        Dream #: 19,715-07. Reading time: 1 min 52 sec.

        This dream seems to have integration of enigmatic space (transpersonal phasing) and is uncannily vivid and realistic, yet it seems unlikely because the only other dream character is Earl (half-brother on my mother's side, who died in 2007). I do not particularly believe in so-called visitation dreams (as my recall of who has died, the narrative, and how I react varies each time). (I have only confirmed transpersonal communication from the living, though granted, inclusive of co-occurrence with their moments of dying. My dreaming experience that gave the full name of a girl who fell from a balcony at the same time it was occurring, I never heard of previously, seemed to be "sent" by someone else. Still, it was in contrast to my sole John Belushi dream as well as the boy who died from his coat sleeve snagging in a public bus door, both around the time of their death.) My dream self does not question Earl's presence as he appeared in the 1970s, and there is no recall he had died.

        The narrative stems from him having bought a computer recently, possibly second-hand, because of the implications. The setting is unknown but has the essence of a large living room. He is going to go to bed soon and tells me not to reboot the computer. The implication is, if I reboot the computer, it will no longer function. He mentions this twice before leaving the room to go to wherever he will be sleeping.

        I consider looking at his computer, but I only see about four old televisions in the room, one atop another (two columns), which I find puzzling. I become aware of loud auditory phasing (imaginary auditory cortex activity), followed by integration with somatosensory phasing, whereby I turn a dial to turn down the radio program. It is not as loud as it was as I consider someone might be annoyed (though there is no one else around at this point).

        Frankly, the message of "don't reboot" seems to be informing me not to reset my dream (which I often spontaneously do with sometimes a different outcome), which sometimes tires me if I do it too much. Despite what many people claim, sustained vivid dreams (in contrast to resetting less vivid dreams or their morphing faster than usual near the end of my sleep cycle) result in a more relaxing sleep. I had been more tired than usual before this part of my sleep cycle. I have also been a natural lucid dreamer since my earliest memory. In contrast to other people saying they are trying to "achieve" lucidity, I typically release it (after about an hour in hypnagogia and post-hypnagogia) in the first half of every sleep cycle since childhood (but have control of dreams regardless, so that is moot).