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#(and by lives i dont just mean their way of living she did very much murder then before they came back in some way)
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Lineup of all of the characters that appear long enough to need a visual representation of them in the game lol
#I added a few people that you can randomly run into around town (like at the inn or in the forest or etc) and have very short conversations#with just to kind of flesh out the world a little more in a more natural-ish seeming way. Like nobody in the main cast would really#have much reason to talk about the actual city you're in or anything. Since most of them havent lived there that long anyway.#But if there's a ''city inspector'' that you can run into whilst he's writing up notes examining the local inn. then maybe there could be a#few dialogue options with him where you can ask about things like that. since he would know more about the area as an offical Government#Worker or etc. Optional of course. since I have to be so wary of my natural inclination to lore dump lol and am trying extra hard to make i#all stuff thats easily avoided/skipped. But for the people like ME who deliberately choose to exhaust every possible optional dialogue#option and explore every single inch of the world and try to collect as much information as possible - then there are a few extra places to#do that. Though obviously not all of them just give exposition for like 15 paragraphs blandly. Some you don't really learn anything from#and it's kind of just.. random flavor to make the non-shop map locations more ''lived in'' feeling. Like the random#little girl you can talk to in the park doesn't bizarrely start reading out the wikipedia description of some War that happened 10 years ag#or whatever. she's just complains about school a little and asks if you've tried the nearby ice cream cart treats and etc lol#ANYWAY..#some of the art is so so evil but I'm not going to spend 800 years trying to clean it up and update it. whatever the hell mess I sketched#out in 2018 or whatever is just what I'm keeping lol... it is what it is#One of the many trials of the whole 'briefly work a few months on something and then abandon it almost entirely only to pick up work#on it literally like 4 - 5 yrs later and now you must contend with trying to decipher whatever weird shit you did years ago' experience lol#Also given the population breakdowns of the world in general I think there's an unrealistic amount of jhevona in this lineup since#they're a much rarer species to just see out and about anywhere but.. it IS a global trading center type area. and the game#takes place in the north (the country of Asen. near the coast. for the maybe 2 or less people who actually keep up with my worldbuilding#enough to know where that is lol (the same continent as Navyete (where the avirre'thel live)) and there's a decent concentration#of nothern jhevona only a short ways away so... tee hee..I shall pretend it makes sense and not merely me just wanting#to represent more of that species because I think their lore is interesting lol#I MEAN also realistically there would NOT be a human here because humans are extremely isolated species that don't even know the rest#of the world exists really and human territories are extremely protected from the outside world but... of course it's like.. well we need#at least One of them to be there for the Optional Lore. Same with the Ythrili. But at least those are like.. PLAUSIBLE.. not nonsensically#outlandish. If I had a Verrucalt or something in there THEN that would be truly lore-breaking almost lol#ANYWAY.. rambling that only means anything to me because nobody else knows what I'm even referencing but hbjh#also I think my character designs are so funny in the sense that I really do just love to do the same thing over and over again ghbjh#wow... random asymmetry and belts and arm straps and high collars where the neck is completely covered?? you dont say..how novel
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gibbearish · 5 months
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am finally back home and can say without a doubt that i am just fundamentally not built for long distance travel however the train was much nicer than planes
#that being said. pressurized cabins drive me insane a little bit#and also it gives you pretty intense sea legs for a While#like. the ones from the first trip hadnt gone away by the return one. so. might be stuck with that for a few days#we shall see#also ajr live fucks severely#the albums were already incredible but that was a goddamn religious experience#like. idk the way i think abt it is theyre more djs than a regular band esp w their performance showing the making of way less sad#like their music is very electronic‚ theyre making mixes of their own sound effects more than singing in one go#so like. the vocals were a teeensy bit rough at times#notably times it has taken me Literally Hundreds Of Hours Practice to be able to consistently sing along with#and times ive found its literally physically impossible to like. no matter what#idc how big your lungs are‚ there is no human on earth who can do that final run of karma in one breath#much less to An Entire Stadium After An Hour Of Jumping And Dancing And Singing Loud As Fuck#so like i dont blame them for that‚ you dont go to live shows expecting it to be 100% perfect anyways jwbdjsbfksb#the trumpet however. well she was certainly playing sometimes. and was very enthusiastic about her flares.#however. in most of their songs they use midi trumpets to my ear at least#meaning she was likely an addition specifically for live performances and in my personal band kid opinion#prooobably was not in any of the like. higher tier bands? idk just. a lot of the mistakes she was making were hitting as stuff that got#taught out of us the instant we joined any band beyond regular concert#so i would guess she was probably just like. a friend who happened to play trumpet in high school or maybe even just middle school#and they knew that the trumpet parts in their pieces were big and distinct enough that like they /had/ to get a live player#and just kinda. didnt anticipate the audition -> performance gap#like. her tone was really fried the whole time like she was playing as hard as possible#which. she was mic'd. have the sound guy turn her up.#the way they did it made it sound like she was using a mute but not. like she only got the bad parts of a mute from it yknow#her tempo and timing were. bad. theres no nice way to put that one it just Was Bad‚ like the trumpet runs in ajr songs arent. complicated#like. quite literally if you handed me the sheet music right now i would have it down perfect in a week at absolute most#and better than that player on sightread. like. we did so many sightreading drills.#like ill share my band kid creds if anyone cares but i need to emphasize this isnt me being braggy like. they genuinely just arent hard#fuck im out of tags. w/e i think only like one of yall also listens to them anyways so i can leave it there
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animationismycomfort · 8 months
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guys what if and hear me out instead of Donnie having a crush on April they just have a weird fascination with humans
#like I feel like if you do that it’d fix a whole lot of sh-t#dont worry they get a scolding for their weird behavior I promise#my stuffy stuff#tmnt#tmnt 2012#WARNING dumping about my personal take on 2012 tmnt#me thinks Donnie should’ve jsut had a weird fascination with humans and human life from the get go#like ITMAKES SENSE#and it makes their insecurities way more understandable#like what if they’ve craved human life since forever ago and they jsut wanna be human but they can’t so they live vicariously through#other people while also studying them to see if they can become human through…..other means they know it’s illogical and weird but#they can’t help it is it so wrong to want to be normal#they people they study are mostly jsut people walking down the street they follow me for a bit and just….watch em#Donnie doesn’t consider Casey a good canidant for human observation mostly cause he’s just too weird to be ”normal”#Casey did try and volunteer though(boy was crushing hard ok)#he got pouty when he was rejected#Donnie was very much obssesed with April but just in a “she’s so normal!!!“ way#April got really uncomfortable and shut it down after a few weeks almost a month#Donnie doesn’t understand why shes so mad at them I mean it knows it’s weird but come on it’s not that bad#Leo also puts some sense in them after it doesn’t stop when april has told them to many times over#after awhile Donnie gets the hint and stops they also realize how badly affected their relationships are because of it#it’s and Casey’s is the worst#after this they finally talk with its family and try and work through their stuff though it isn’t an instant fix it helps#it’s and Casey’s relationship gets so much better after they start talking#Donnie still has insecurities of course but it realizes they shoudnt push their problems onto other people
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hearties-circus · 1 year
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Everyday I try to be normal about that old woman and everyday I fail worse than I did previously
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ikyw-t · 2 years
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hm realizing that this year marks a decade of me writing my own songs and how im actually for real for real going to finally post some music online this year... which is mostly very exciting bc i have nothing to lose.
but then also i can't help but think of two separate occasions when i was 14 or 15 and went to an open mic night with my twin sister and one of her friends and when she found out i had signed up to sing + play a couple of songs she literally left the coffee shop and walked all the way down the block rather than have to endure 10 minutes of my singing which.... feels almost comically overdramatic and atrocious but mostly just still makes me feel pretty shite lmao .... esp when i remember how when i had first started writing i would try to show her all of my writing which believe it or not she was also never once supportive about... lol anyway. just twin things ig!
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yongseungkim · 5 months
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#talked to her a little bit more about her confusing behavior#esp her relationship w this one person and how it confuses me when its a more group setting#and lo and behold this solved nothing lol#she was like we are close i dont know how to make u feel that#and i was like i do feel it when we are one on one but when we are in group settings i dont feel close to you at all#wasnt very clear at all with my feelings though but more or less listed off things that she had done that unintentionally had hurt me#or just made things feel kind of confusing#like if we are close then why xyz thing#i feel like i never see her if xyz person doesnt come to me first cuz she'll follow her around right#i did straight up ask her if they were just friends or smth more and if she had feelings for her#and she was like yeah just friends (which idk for me just cuz i asked doesnt mean she has to respond to me honestly)#(so taking it with a grain of salt)#and i was like yeah man ur relationship w this one person cuz u give her so much attention like i never know how to itneract#sometimes if eel guilty for taking her away from u when i talk to her cuz u kinda just shut down#and dotn talk to anyone and she was jokingly like yeah go sit in a corner and i was liek DUDE LITERALLY YEAH?#and then also times when her attention on xyz person has left me feeling left out#and i think its so funny this girl was like i literally didnt know i interact with xyz person in that way cuz i dont think abt it#cuz if i start thinking then i start overthinking and thats nto fun#which is T RUE BUT LIKE ALSO#idk how can one person be that dense like her and xyz person literally won a dynamic duo award thing#ppl were like 'dont separate those two they cant live without each other' LIKE BRUH ARE U SERIOUSLY TAHT DENSE?#and then also the whole shes not a great texter but how shes literally always on the phone texting someone it feels like so for me its hard#to really accept that sometimes like but then she had said earlier like her friends from undergrad just straight up call her so yeah maybe#i guess but also idk man#also times when she had promised to do smth and then didnt follow through on that hurting bc i take ppl by their word
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so in an attempt to actually use positive thinking, anytime i fuck up and my brain reacts as if ive cause a minor apocalyptic event, i compare my fuck up to the 4 minute fuck up committed by the crew of the uss william d porter.
and only today, as i was having to explain what happened to my mom when i was explaining the whole comparison thing, did i realise that most people dont know about it and ive decided that needs to change because its objectively hilarious.
...which is a weird thing to say about an event that occured on a warship in 1943, specifically november 14th.
see the uss william d porter was a fletcher-class destroyer but you dont need to know what that means, just that she had guns that went bang bang and that she was escorting another ship, the uss iowa, to cairo.
while they were on their way there, they performed some gun trials like testing the anti-aircraft guns or the torpedos. and while they were running a torpedo drill, the crew of the porter managed to fire a live torpedo straight at the iowa which you know, in terms of a list of things to do while escorting a ship, shooting a torpedo at them is not on that list.
especially if the president of the united states is on board.
yeah so fdr was on board and the gun trials were actually his idea, and part of the trials was that they were conducted under radio silence.
and that means the crew of the porter couldnt just call the iowa to be like "move out the way, we accidentally shot a torpedo at you."
but they did have signal lamps and you know, the signalman on board was trained to signal this exact kind of message.
...and uh never mind, the signalman did manage to successfully tell the iowa that a torpedo was coming toward them but wasnt as successful when it came to the direction the torpedo was coming from.
not all hope is lost though because the signalman could still use the signal lamp to correct his previous mistake and-, never mind, he announced that the porter was reversing, which she wasnt.
yeah so at catastrophic mistake number 3, they broke radio silence to warn the iowa and she managed to turn out of the way just in time which meant no one got hurt. and even though the inquiry into the incident led to chief torpedoman (fantastic job title btw) lawton dawson being sentences to hard labour, fdr intervened and waved away his sentence, saying it was all an accident.
but yeah, so thats my new measure for "how much did i really fuck up?" and when i compared accidentally picking up a pencil case without a tag on it in wilko, turns out it was a very minor fuck-up. yes, the cashier had to ask another worker to grab a duplicate so they could scan the barcode, but i didnt nearly kill the president during wartime via accidental friendly fire
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willows-peak · 9 months
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*・゚✧ JJK Character's Fav Positions
tags: multi character x reader, gn! reader, fluff, acute descriptions of cuddling, sfw and nsfw below the cut, the students aren't included in the nsfw portion dw
word count: expected 2.2k
a/n: im struggling with a geto wip so have this for tonight :3c i wonder if u can tell whos my fav to write
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⋆。˚ ♡ spooning: reserved for the clingiest of people, those who wanna feel your warmth no matter what, snuggled tight holding your back to their chest under a blanket and falling asleep to the slow breaths you make in your slumber
nobara: she's a girl with a very busy life, socially and academically, so when she finally gets to come home and relax into you, her back being embraced by you and held snugly to your chest as she sighs in content, she's as happy as can be. especially after a nice warm shower to wash the day's work away, curling up in bed in her jammies and taking a well deserved nap is all she needs. she gets very irritable if (god forbid) she cant be with you for a while
yuuta: he's a very sweet boy, even when sleeping. if u two end up cuddling, you'll somehow always end up being spooned, no matter how you two fell asleep. yuuta claims he has no idea how this happens, but youre starting to doubt him when you fell asleep at the foot of the bed and woke up with a snoring yuuta behind you. though, you dont have it in you to push him away, considering the way he grumbles and reaches out for you until youre back in his arms
getou: while he wasn't the one to initiate being the little spoon, that seems to be the role you gave him when you first started sleeping in the same bed. even while he was relaxed, his back muscles seemed to entrance you enough to want to stare at them while he slept. he wasn't surprised or offended at your reasoning of course, quite the opposite. you were fueling his already huge ego so how could he deny you? now, he'll rest with the feeling of your deft fingers combing through his hair, while your other hand was running across the bumps and crevices of his back.
⋆。˚ ♡ hugging: for the cuddling enjoyer who also wants to smoosh your face with their chest. legs tangled together, the comforting scent of your shampoo in their nose and their hand gently cupping the back of your head
gojo: speaking of the clingiest man alive. he treats you like a stuffie half the time while you two sleep, hugging you tight to his chest and having your face buried in the crook of his neck while he snoozes away. much like yuuji, the pressure of you against his body helps relax him, but unfortunately for you, that means this 6'3 man squeezing you as tight as possible and stacking on blankets on top of your combined bodies. let's hope you two live somewhere cold
inumaki: he always slept in fetal position before you two started dating, so this was just naturally how you two began cuddling. inumaki either slept at 8 pm sharp or he'd still be awake when you got up in the morning, so who was cuddling who was never consistent. sometimes, inumaki slept with his arm thrown across your hip and his face squished against your side, and others he'd hook his arm around the small of your back and hold you while you slept
⋆。˚ ♡ head on lap: sometimes you don't wanna go all out with cuddling your partner, and for those occasions look no further than the thigh pillow ™ for when you or your partner are too tired to move from the couch to the bed
maki: few words are ever spoken when you two do this. you could be catching up on your schoolwork, or talking with maki, or watching the tv, but often times you'll simply stop and roll over to lay on her lap, neither of you questioning or even batting an eye to it anymore. even when you first did it, there was only a moment of confusion in maki's face before she shrugged and continued talking to you
choso: when you asked him how he liked to cuddle one day, he shrugged his shoulders and answered with "whatever makes you happy." and while he meant it, you couldnt deny the pattern you noticed when you were lounging in bed, or sitting down, where choso would inevitably end up cozied between your thighs, his head resting on your tummy with his hand around your back. pro tip, he makes happy hums if you put your hand on his head
⋆。˚ ♡ head on chest: who needs blankets when you have a whole other person? the classic and well loved position that lets them hold u as close as they can, arm snagging around your waist and holding you tight as you drift into dream land
megumi: you may have thought this meant youre laying on his chest. nope. it took a while for him to open up with what he wanted with you, physically, but it very quickly turned into routine how he'd wordlessly crawl into your arms and flop down against your chest, grumbling incoherently when you asked him what was the matter. you'd sigh and resume whatever you were doing, combing through his messy hair until the soft sound of snores filled the room minutes later.
nanami: this man does not play around about two things, children and his sleep. he's very particular with how he rests, as in you *will* be with him while he sleeps, and you *will* be placed on his chest, held tight as he snored away. youre his wonderful break from monotony, a shining ray of sunshine in his cold and unwelcoming world, so forgive him for being clingy while he rests. though, this does come with the downside of him becoming restless if you're ever away. dont worry! he has a pillow with your scent sprayed onto it for this very occasion, just in case
toji: he wasnt huge on cuddling at first, both not used to it and finding it inconvenient to deal with if he needed to do anything at night. he didnt sleep well before you, and even if that hasnt changed, you snuggling up to him like a huge teddy bear at least gave him something to focus on in those sleepless fits he often has. on the rare occasion he sleeps before you awaken, youre extra careful to press a kiss to his chest as he silently rested underneath you
⋆。˚ ♡ in their lap: cuddling doesn't always have to mean sleeping, of course. sometimes its just a really really long hug with your partner. for times like this, curling up in someone's lap while you laze your time away sounds like a paradise
yuuji: at first, scooting you into his lap was just an easy way to keep you close while he had nothing else to do, arm secured around your waist while you either scrolled through your phone or talked to him about your day, the mundane things he loved about you. but, as he soon found, you on his lap added the extra bonus of pressure! a sturdy weight and warmth on his body, allowing him to relax and melt into you in those moments of silence shared between you two.
sukuna: lets just say you're lucky he's touchy at all with you. he'll tolerate surprise hugs or pecks on his shoulder, but the only physical touch he seems to ever enjoy is when you're slotted in his lap, free to touch and poke at whenever he pleases. you'd whine if he pinched your cheek, squawk if he pressed his nails into the meat of your thighs, glare at him if he groped your ass. all those lovely reactions are a fair trade for you scooting yourself into his lap and using his chest as a pillow, he deems
NSFW UNDER CUT!!! MDNI
⋆。˚ ♡ cowgirl: save a horse, ride a cowboy seeing you take control is unbearably sexy. pivoting your hips up and down on their dick while your hands grip at their shoulders, or having their hands grab at your ass while you slowly grind down against them. either way theyre yours for the taking
ino: a loveable, yet irritating trait of your boyfriend, is that he struggled to fuck you again after a round. you couldnt blame him, with how fast and hard he pounded into you and how he'd always make sure to hit your sweet spots until you were spasming and cumming around his cock. but when you werent satisfied just yet, he spared no time lifting you up into his lap, eagerly offering his cock for you to use as you pleased. and really, how could you pass up an offer like that?
getou: why should he have to do the work when you look this good riding him? his eyes never leave yours while you're bouncing in his lap, the slap of your skin against his backing up your huffs and whines of pleasure, looking at him so pitifully when he backs his hips down out of you. "you want more? come on honey, work for it. thaaat's right, move your hips just like that f' me" he'd egg you on so sweetly, smiling at your pout while you spread your legs and angled your hips to take him deeper inside
⋆。˚ ♡ doggy style: nasty mfs who live for seeing your ass jiggle with every thrust or slap they give you. the way your tiny waist arches down and your chest is pressed flat against the sheets while they're pounding away at you is unbeatable to them
yuki: behind every woman with a big ass is an even bigger strap, and yuki is the prime example of that. she loves to fuck you in front of a mirror in this position too, cooing at you for being so good at taking her dick while fucking you with aimed precision, making you look at yourself while shes thrusting deep inside you. its enough to make you melt into the sheets and wail at the onslaught of pleasure going through your body, but dont worry, she still has so much more to give you
⋆。˚ ♡ against the wall: can you say desperate? they love this position so much, sloppy makeouts that lead to pinning you against the nearest surface because they feel like they'll die if their lips leave yours for even a second
gojo: call him a showoff, because its true. in this position, he can show you just how small you are compared to him, size and strength wise. bouncing you up and down on his cock until your pretty head doesnt work anymore, seeing your eyes oggle his flexed arms and the space where he was fucking up into you. this paired with fucking you inside his office? his dick has never been harder. the thought of someone hearing how good youre getting fucked, coupled with your horrible attempt at muffling your cries and moans makes him so fucking turned on
shoko: shes a true switch, which means its a toss up for whos gonna be on the wall in this position. it all depends on her mood, and who shes had to deal with today. if it was a slow day at work, she'll happily make out with you and grind her knee into your crotch against the door of your apartment for as long as she pleases. though, if her day was more hectic, shes not so subtly grinding herself onto your lap and pressing her fingers into your mouth, sighing woefully about how stressed she is until she expectedly pulls out her fingers, waiting for you to offer yourself to help her
⋆。˚ ♡ 69: they love the competitive-ness of this position. being able to grab your hips and shove them down onto their flat tongue, getting harder when they can feel how much you're struggling to focus from their mouth. but when you grind down into their mouth while bobbing your head on their cock? hooh
toji: hes so mean when he has you like this.. ruthlessly bucking his hips up into your tight and wet throat, sloppily licking and sucking at you and twitching at the feeling of you gagging when he hits the back of your throat. you can barely move your head, your brain getting fucked out by toji's tongue and lips expertly taking you apart piece by piece. you never lasted long when he had you like this either, much to his delight. eagerly lapping up your cum while you moaned and hopelessly squirmed in his grip felt better than any orgasm hes ever gotten, though your throat comes at a very close second
nanami: nanami can at times forget this position is for the both of you, with how into it he can get. hes good about it at first, groaning into you from the way your tongue licks and swirls around his thick cock. but the more he tastes you, the more ravenous he gets with his sucks against you, licking up any stray wetness that threatens to fall down your thighs as the pace of your sucking slows and breaks. you can try to lift your hips away from his tongue, but good luck with that. the grip he keeps on your thighs is near impossible to break, even if your an orgasm or two deep into the session
⋆。˚ ♡ mating press: whispers of them others name falling right into their lips as their hips rock into you, thighs pressed tightly against your chests and your legs shaking on top of their shoulders. the closeness of this position never fails to rile them up, allowing them to see every little face you make, and hear all those noises they fuck out of you
sukuna: youre helpless underneath him, and thats the way he likes it. you can barely move around when his large, muscular frame is pinning you plush against the sheets of your bed, arms forced to clumsily hold onto his shoulders as he fucks you so deep, so harshly that you choke on your own breath from the power behind his thrusts. "sssuku-na, please, too mm-! is' toomuch, oh" your pleads fall on deaf ears, his thrusts never faltering nor easing up with their intensity.
choso: he honestly thinks he'll die if he isnt pressed up against you while hes fucking you. it all feels so intimate when hes got you with your legs bound to your torso from his chest, his thighs holding your body steady while hes all up in your guts. he feels so wonderfully deep inside you like this, hardly able to get out a full sentence from the way you squeeze and milk his long cock, crashing his lips into yours as tears start to well up in his eyes from how good it all feels
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chisatowo · 2 years
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Thinking abt the sci fantasy au again. I find Aya and Chisato funny for many reasons but rn because Chisato has such a strong image of them being the one between the two that has everything together but when it comes to the both of their eldritch horror stuff Aya just has like. Everything together human form wise and Chisato super Doesn't and it freaks Chisato out every time it becomes relevant
#rat rambles#band posting#sci fantasy au#just because of the nature of his true form aya had to really really refine his human form before even inching towards earth#while chisato wasnt as instakill dangerous so they mostly just trial and errored their way into a good enough human form to work#so like they seem human enough to the point your agerage person wouldnt notice anything too odd but its very much not perfect#its mostly small things like them always smelling vaguely of salt water or fish and other aquatic life getting really panicked around them#but theres some more noticable stuff thats slipped through the cracks throughout their life#as a kid their eyes were a lot more fishy and even now prolonged contact with them will irritate the skin and make you rly tired#its mostly stuff they just dont know how to fix or used very slap on fixes for#for example they are super water proof since they couldnt find out how to make their skin stop getting slimy when wet so they just started#repelling water to prevent it which comes with its own problems but its worked well enough so far#tbh chisato does legitimately feel rly insecure abt how much more refined aya's human form is#aya feels a small bit of envy towards chisato having the ability to not need to fully perfect their human form as even now that its been#years with him living as a human with nothing bad happening the idea of some unknown misatake in his form hurting ppl terrifies him#and its very much worsened by the maya incedent even if she manages to recover well enough#and by well enough I mean physically shes fine but it did do a bit of a number to her relationship with pain but yknow#meanwhile eve just gets a free easy human form thanks to magic which is good cause itd be hard to do a lot of things as a toxic cloud
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gyusrose · 6 months
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➵ you’re so vain -> l.hs
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⚠︎ smut (mdni)
✎ jock!heeseung x reader, enemies to ?????, heeseung is rlly annoying, hate sex ;), hair pulling, dirty talk, unprotected sex, degradation, backshots lmao. i think that’s it?
summary: attending a new school was supposed to be a fresh start for you, trying to be nice to everyone and have new friends, yet coming across lee heeseung threw all of that out the window.
(heeseung x fem.reader)
wc: 3.2k
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your sweaty hands could not be gripping the steering wheel any harder. you wouldn’t call yourself “super shy” but when it comes to a whole new community of people, teenagers, hell yeah you are.
you had to move exactly at the middle of the year due to your mom’s work. they offered her double the salary at the other side of the city, who was she to say no to that? although you were going to miss your friends and the overall environment of your old home, you couldn’t just tell your mom ‘no’, either way her decisions are final.
you just got here two days ago, and to be honest, it wasn’t that bad. the worst thing so far is the fact that the nearest shopping center was 30 minutes away but you’ll live.
you didn’t except your first day of school to be so nerve-wracking. surely you’ll make some friends but who knows what people are like here. eventually, you saw the big navy blue sign with your school’s name on it. it was an averagely big school, bigger than your old one, which also meant more people.
the parking space alone was scary. it was huge yet already full even though it was still fairly early. you went around in circles around the parking lot, trying to find a vacant spot. fortunately you did at the second-to-last line.
as you tried to park, the limited space you had made it difficult to, having to back up and drive in constantly. as you reversed your car, you must have completely forgotten that you aren’t the only one there, feeling a small crash at the bumper of your car.
your eyes widened in panic. you looked back to see what you hit, and with your luck, it revealed at very nice black car, to which you’ve just hit. you tried to quickly get into your parking spot, hoping it was nothing serious, but then someone came walking up to you.
‘shit, that must be the owner’ you saw his red, rather handsome, fuming face.
you got out of your car to confront the first person interaction.
“hey look im so-“
“CANT YOU FUCKING DRIVE RIGHT? YOU HIT MY VERY EXPENSIVE CAR WITH YOUR THING, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?”
oh he was an asshole. you almost scoffed in his face. who does he think he is.
“it was accident that’s all, it was barely a scratch calm down man.”
“IT WAS DEFINITELY A SCRATCH LOOK AT IT! JUST BECAUSE YOU KEEP YOUR CAR LOOKING ALL MISERABLE DOESNT MEAN I WILL, DO YOU EVEN HAVE A LICENSE?”
lord take me back. you were so close to just leaving him there arguing with himself. but you didn’t want to make him even angrier.
“look im sorry! i can pay for the fix up if that’s what you want, i dont know what else to do?”
the boy scoffed and rolled his eyes at your statement.
“you think i don’t have the money for it? please, it shows you’re a newbie around here.”
“i didn’t mean it like that-“
“yo heeseung!! come on bro!” another blonde boy called from afar, hopefully ending the argument y’all were having.
“ watch your back new girl.” with one last glare, he left to join his group of friends.
you rolled your eyes. shiver my fucking timbers, you thought.
you took a deep breath before grabbing your backpack and making your way into school , hoping to never see his face ever again.
>>
you thought that was going to be the end of it all. but oh boy were you wrong. soon you found out that heeseung is the captain of the football team, and pretty much the most popular boy in school. as cliche as it sounds, every girl would drop their panties if he asked them to.
people know he’s not the nicest person ( an asshole) yet they still look up to him. that’s angered you. how are all these people so dumb? just because he’s kinda good-looking? seriously?
over the course of a few weeks, you’ve managed to make some friends, your closest taehyun and Isa. although you tried to block the negativity, heeseung made it really hard. always giving you snarky comments when he saw you around, ridiculing you in front of other people. somehow always finding a way to run into you despite not having any classes together. except gym.
“ bro open your eyes, catch the damn ball!” he yelled from across from you.
you hated sports. even less could you play one, but you gotta do it for the grade.
“the ball was too high up dummy!” you retorted, rolling your eyes for maybe the 100th time in the class period.
if you hated gym before, you definitely hated it more now.
as the period ended, you decided to take a quick shower in the locker rooms since you couldn’t handle being all sweaty and gross throughout the day.
heeseung finished changing and was outside the locker room with his friends, chatting, waiting for the bell to ring. that’s when he may have accidentally eavesdropped the conversation between your two friends, he could barely the names of.
“where’s _____?” taehyun asked isa, noticing how you weren’t with her.
“she’s taking a shower right now, she told us to not wait for her.” Isa shrugged before taehyun nodded.
a beautiful idea popped in heeseung’s brain. it was too good.
he excused himself and sneakily waited by the girl’s locker room, waiting for everyone to come out. once he only heard the shower you were using running, he quietly entered the room. the bell had rang about a minute ago, so the gym was empty, only you and him. the gym teacher god knows where.
he saw his target and rapidly grabbed the pile of clothes sitting on the bench, a smirk evident in his face.
suddenly the shower stopped running, making heeseung hurry and exit the locker room.
the shower felt too good, you think you spent more time that you anticipated to. as you exited the shower tiles, you looked around for your clothes, which you remember clearly leaving them in the bench closest to the shower. you looked around the whole locker room, hoping you were wrong and placed them elsewhere. unfortunately, you couldn’t even find your damn socks.
your biggest fear has come true. you’re now naked, nothing but a towel covering you, this was more than just humiliating. you felt sad, mad, angry, embarrassed all at once. they’ve been stolen for sure, and you were more than sure on who did it.
grabbing your phone you called Isa, to see if she could help you somehow. and she indeed did. bringing you some spare clothes she had. thankfully, you always bring extra underwear since situations like these could happen. you just had to wait for isa for the clothes, yet the five minutes she took felt like five hours. unfortunately, passing period is over, meaning some students are coming in the locker room to change.
many of them just straight up stared at you. giving you weird looks as to why you were pretty much naked in the middle of the locker room, but none had the guts to ask you.
you wished the ground would just swallow you whole. lee heeseung won’t hear the end of it.
“LEE HEESEUNG!” you yelled across the field. he and his friends were siting down eating lunch outside when you spotted him after trying to find him after the stunt he just pulled.
heeseung knew it was coming, giggling with his friends as they heard you yell his name once again. “ oh she’s about to scold me now .” heeseung scoffed but still got up and went over to you.
“yes ma’am?” he said with a smile, you wish you could slap off but you’re better than that.
“YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID DO YOU KNOW HOW EMBARRASSING THAT WAS?”
“i have no idea what you’re talking about..” heeseung tried acting innocent but failed as he just burst out laughing. you groaned, how on earth is that funny?
“cute panties by the way” he continued to laugh, not sparing a glance at your mad expression on your face.
“you’re such an ass, i hate your guts.” you said leaving him alone, laughing to himself.
“yo bro i think she actually got mad this time.” his friend, jake came over.
heeseung shrugged. “she’s so sensitive, it wasn’t even that bad.”
“i can’t believe he did that…” taehyun said as you told them both what had happened. Isa knew a little bit but not who did it.
“that’s fucked up, what’s he got against you so much?”
you shrugged. “i guess because i gave his car a little scratch, but i guess he took it to heart since he hasn’t stopped bothering me since. he’s a jerk.”
“finally someone who thinks the same as me!” taehyun said making you chuckle.
“then get back at him! you know the one thing that makes him who he is is that damn football.” Isa said.
you tried to be the bigger person this whole time, not paying much mind to his little remarks or pranks he pulls, biting back a little wouldn’t hurt right?
“you know what, you’re right.”
“lee heeseung, mrs. park wants to speak to you.” mr.jung said calling heeseung.
heeseung who was barely paying attention heard his name. his frowned at this. what on earth could she want to talk about with him? either way, he went to her classroom.
he entered the empty classroom to find his coach and mrs.park, waiting for him. what the fuck? heeseung was more confused now. maybe they were going to congratulate him for the good work this semester? his coach’s face said otherwise though.
“there you are, you may be wondering why you’re here..” mrs.park started. heeseung nodded, feeling uneasy.
“a student came forward, showing how you copied word for word her whole assignment, the one i assigned a week ago. i didn’t notice it at first but it’s very clear now, you may know how cheating is unacceptable in my class, i’ve decided to fail you in this assignment, plus you’ll be serving detention this whole week..” she turned to the coach.
heeseung’s heart started beating at a rapid pace, he’s never been caught cheating, and being failed on the assignment that was a big part of his grade, it means he’s most likely failing the class now. the rules for football stated that all players should be passing all of their classes if not, they’ll be dropped….
no no no, the lee heeseung can’t be dropped. he’s the captain! the star player!
“since you’re failing this class heeseung, i think you know what’s about to happe-“
“please coach! don’t kick me out, i’m the captain! what would the team do without me? i’ll get my grade up as soon as possible im-“
“calm down calm down, i’m not going to kick you out, it’s the middle of the season, but unfortunately you won’t be playing the next three games. if your grade is not up by then, then i will drop you. understood?” his coach stated earning a sharp nod by heeseung.
he’s glad he’s still on the team but what’s the point if he can’t play? he’s going to become a joke. the captain that’s a bench warmer. how stupid.
he left the classroom enraged. he knows exactly who did this.
“bro what? what do you mean you ain’t gonna play ?” riki said in disbelief at what his captain just said.
“some snitch told mrs.park that i cheated on the last assignment and coach suspended me for the next three games, and i got detention all week!” sunghoon unknowingly chuckled. heeseung looked at him with a glare.
“what? she got you good, what did you expect hee?” sunghoon kept laughing, making some of the others also laugh silently.
heeseung had nothing to say back, he just rolled his eyes. “tch, whatever.”
nevertheless, you were overjoyed seeing heeseung slouching on the bench. you couldn’t miss this once in a lifetime scenario. obviously you were the cause for it. heeseung asks Isa almost all the time for her notes or to straight up copy her. she willingly let you rat him out after what he did to you.
he can sense how all eyes were on him, but he just tried to block everyone out a focus on the game. he had a poker face on, but deep inside he was irritated . he saw how you were smirking and laughing with your two little friends. you knew what you were doing.
>>
“ahh look who it is, the benchwarmer! “ you said chuckling as you made your way to heeseung.
after the team (barely) won, jake threw an ‘after party’ at his house. even though you don’t normally go to these parties, especially from those boys, you felt like a party would do good with your marvellous mood. something about seeing heeseung’s frowny face made feel over the moon.
“seems like cat got your tongue now huh? dont have anything to say-“
in a blink of an eye you were pulled into a room, heeseung’s fingers wrapped around your neck, pulling your face closer to his.
“what the fuck? heeseung-“
“shut the fuck up.” his hoarse voice caught you off guard. he was actually really mad.
“you think what you did it’s fucking funny? huh? almost getting me kicked out ? “ you’ve never seen him this enraged before. making you almost scared, yet….kinda turned on? no, you hate him, snap out of it! you told yourself yet the wetness in between your legs became hard to ignore.
you didn’t respond. “fuck, you’re so annoying, i can’t fucking stand you. i hate you.” he saw lowly. fuck that was hot.
you spoke before thinking. “then show me.”
not needing to tell him twice, heeseung pulled you completely in. your lips met in a kiss that was anything but gentle, a fierce and consuming clash that spoke longing and raw need.
The kiss deepened, fueled by an unspoken urgency, their mouths exploring each other with a fervor that left y’all breathless. his grip on your neck becoming tighter.
“shit im gonna show you to fucking behave.” he said before pushing you into the bed forcefully. you may have discovered a new kink of yours. watching as he undressed himself and yourself rapidly. feeling his anger through every touch he gave you.
he rubbed through your folds before inserting two fingers aggressively. your body jolted at the sudden move.
“holy shit go softer dumbass.”
“aw you think i give a fuck? suck it up and take it since you think you’re all that.” his fingers pumped faster and faster making it hard for you to answer back to his stupid remarks.
“oh my god..” you tried to pull his hand away before you cum. not wanting to see you orgasm so easily yet.
“just fuck me already heeseung, or is your dick as tiny as your brain?”
heeseung looked darkly at you. that stupid mouth of yours can’t shut up will it?
he retracted his fingers put of you and took his boxers off. wanting nothing more than to prove you wrong.
shit. your eyes went wide at what stood in front of you. saying he was big was an understatement. it was like a zipper for your mouth. how was that thing going to fit inside of you?
“can’t say anything now, can you slut?” he pulled your legs down the mattress to have you at the perfect angle to ram into you.
heeseung ran his til over your folds, teasing his way in. making you aggrevated.
“just put it in for fucks sake!”
“tell me how bad you want it.” you shook your head, no way were you going to beg. no way.
“alright then, i guess im gonna go.” he said letting go of your waist, acting as if he was going to leave.
“okay okay! please fuck me, i want it so bad, i want your big cock so bad heeseung.” heeseung moaned at your words. he didn’t wait any longer and thrusted all of him in you.
you both moaned yet it was more painful for you. you’ve never had something so big inside you before.
“fuck yeah..” he said then grabbing your neck, slightly choking you. your hands went to his biceps, trying to find something to hold on to as the speed he was thrusting in became more hostile.
“fuck me harder, like the asshole you are.” you said in between breaths. heeseung took the challenge and thrusted violently. the skin slapping and wetness of your core could probably be heard in the party outside.
“of course a whore like you would like to be fucked like this.”
before you could respond he pulled out of you earning a desperate groan from you, but then your were flipped, now on all fours and before you knew it he was back in you again. gripping your hip with one hand while he pulled your hair on the other.
“such a tight pussy, you probably fantasized about this am i right?” he said in your ear. you shook your head through your moan.
“in your dreams lee, in your fucking dreams. fuck you.”
“i’m quite literally doing that.” chuckling, he let go of your hair and instead gripped your other hip, going in deeper, nudging your cervix literally driving you to an edge.
“fuck i’m cumming.” you cried out. never has an orgasm felt like this. heeseung was on edge as well, feeling you clench around his dick did it for him.
your climax rose over you, making you fall into the pillow while heeseung kept thrusting until his own organs came over him, pulling out and releasing his white ropes all over your back.
tiredly, he laid besides you in the strangers bed, not knowing what to say now.
you turned to him, smirking. “i think i may hate you even more now.”
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star-girl69 · 8 months
Text
Your Girl
Clarisse La Rue x Fem!Demigod!Reader
—-
synopsis: late at night, you and clarisse get to know one another.
a/n: ykw i dont even know what i write anymore just enjoy it i truly just listen to the wind oh my god
Your Girl - Lana Del Rey (Unreleased)
warnings: im sorry im obsessed w the nightmare trope, friends to lovers MEYOW, HURT COMFORT, clarisse just wants to KISS, light tension, very light and fluffy tho…. not a lot of angst tbh, POSSESSIVE CLARISSE I SCREAMED, mutual pining YESSSSS, they’re in love but they don’t think the other could be in love w them, clarisse knows what she wants and sets out to get it, monsters- again it’s a drakon bc i’m evil, mentions of death, swearing, mentions of weapons, weed and smoking, substance abuse idk if it’s addiction my health teacher would be so disappointed, shotgunning weed, idk what’s happening honestly we’re all along for the ride, tell me if i missed anything!!
—-
You don’t know where Clarisse gets it from, but she has good weed.
They’re these perfectly little rolled blunts, with some sort of amazing concoction inside- you can’t even be bothered to care that it’s bad for you. Not when it makes you feel so good, not when it makes everything else fade away.
So, that’s why you’re here now. Sitting in the woods, leaning against a rock covered in moss, staring up at the stars. Sometimes you talk, sometimes you’re just here next to each other. But tonight, you think you took one too many hits, so you’re feeling a little sentimental.
“I would fucking die without you, Clarisse.”
She snorts. “Yeah, probably.”
“No, no, not just like- because you’re so strong, and stuff, but because of this fucking weed. I can’t sleep without it, y’know.”
She hums.
“And, like, you need sleep to live, or else your brain will like eat itself, or something ridiculous. Did you know that?”
She looks at you, mouth curved into an unimpressed smile, eyebrows raised. “I didn’t, and I care so much. Thanks for telling me, leech.”
“That’s mean,” you huff.
“Then stop leeching off of me and stealing my weed.”
Clarisse always looks so pretty in the moonlight. You would never admit that to anyone, but in the dark when your head is all hazy- you know she’s pretty. She’s beautiful, if you’re being honest, but she’s also your dealer- you can’t risk upsetting her. But still, sometimes you’re not sure how she isn’t a daughter of Aphrodite.
But you know better than anyone else that she gets everything from Ares, like she’s a carbon copy of him.
She gets her precision, her strength, her tactical mind, her rolling storm of emotions from him.
Except, there’s a softness in her. Only here, in the moonlight. You don’t know if it’s you or the weed, but you like to think it’s you. You like to think that Clarisse likes you as much as you like her, not just tolerates you for your mediocre company.
She’s sitting with one foot planted onto the ground, hair pulled back all messy, her arm balancing on her knee. The joint is held out conveniently towards you, lazily in between her fingers, so you flip yourself onto your stomach and reach out with open lips.
She smiles and flips the joint around, placing it onto your lips. Your close your eyes and your mouth, breathing in deeply. Gods, does it taste horrible, but you love it too much.
You pull back and breathe out the smoke.
“You love me, and my weed-stealing tendencies.”
“Uh, yeah, okay,” she rolls her eyes.
—-
Clarisse probably trains more than any other demigod at camp. Thirty minutes after dinner, like clockwork, you can find her heading to the field where all the sparring dummies live.
Clarisse is probably your only true friend at camp. You stick to yourself for the most part, hang out with your siblings, but besides for that it’s Clarisse. And she’s the same way. She hangs out with her siblings, and then you. Of course- everyone at Camp knows her name and her ruthless reputation.
You’re unknown, she’s known. She’s the best fighter you’ve ever seen, you’re mediocre, compared to her. She helps you at every turn, you’re the one getting helped by her. She’s mean to everyone, and you’re kind to whoever happens upon you.
You force each other to bring out the other sides of yourself no one gets to see. Clarisse gets to be soft, you get to be loud and annoying. You’re friends, but you both get something out of it.
She’s your friend, your dealer, your savior.
If the first day you came to camp, running through the woods with a drakon hot on your heels and your mouth split open into a scream- maybe Clarisse and her siblings wouldn’t have turned around and noticed the drakon.
Of course, Clarisse was the one who actually killed it, and she was the one who hoisted you up from where you had collapsed, breathing heavily. She was the one who actually made sure you weren’t hurt while your satyr protector panicked about having to face the Cloven Council.
She was the one who found you in the middle of the night, that drakon hissing in your ear, she was the one who gave you the claw she had pried from it’s dead body, she was the one who told you it was dead and nothing could hurt you in Camp.
“Clarisse!” you call, running towards her. Most campers like to wind down after dinner, so the field is empty.
“Leech,” she says when you reach her, leaning her spear against a dummy and stretching her arms above her head.
You always come everyday. You ask her the same question.
“Do you have it?”
She digs under her armor, pulling out the small cloth containing the blunt. “You would probably go insane if I didn’t.”
You feel calmer just looking at it. You smile sheepishly up at her.
“You know I can’t sleep without it, Clarisse.”
She looks away, stuffing it back under her armor, against her stomach.
“Maybe you should try and skip one night.”
You scoff. “I don’t feel like pulling an all-nighter, Clarisse.”
She nods, but her face is riddled with concern. “Okay, angel,” she mutters, so low you can barely hear it. But you do. You hear her call you angel, and you turn away instead of slamming your lips into hers.
—-
After that first night, you slept with that claw tight into your hand. And it was fine. You still had the occasional nightmare, but every demigod had those. But the older you got, the more monsters you learned about, the more comfortable you got with being a demigod- the more the nightmares came. Knowing the drakon was dead didn’t help, and the nightmares got worse and worse until Clarisse found you again one night.
You had drifted apart from her. She had her life and you had hers, but ever since you’ve been bonded by the nights.
She wrapped her arms around you and let you cry, mumbling about how she was the strongest demigod at camp, and there was the barrier, and nothing would ever get through to you.
She was soft in that moment. And you could tell she regretted it, because she ignored you for the next few days until one of her siblings pushed you to the ground. She appeared out of nowhere and grabbed his shirt, yelling that if he ever touched you again, she’d fucking kill him.
While he sputtered and asked why she cared about some stupid weak girl, she helped you up and said: “She’s my girl.”
And since that day 3 months ago, you’ve always been her girl. Neither of you really knew what that meant, except you liked being around each other and you liked this transaction. Clarisse liked owning something. You liked belonging to someone.
That’s what this entire friendship is about- convenience.
So, that’s why Clarisse being concerned about you makes you feel weird. You care about Clarisse, she cares about you- but only enough that she doesn’t want to see you hurt by someone else. But who is she to stop you when you’re the one hurting yourself?
You arrive at the rock in the forest, fingers twisting together. Clarisse is already there, lighter and blunt set out on the ground, polishing her spear.
“Hey,” she says, looking down.
“Hi.”
You sit down, eager to get your hands on the weed and forget about the way Clarisse’s concern confuses you.
You stare at your shaking hand.
Gods, are you really that nervous?
Clarisse’s eyes are sharp, she notices everything, she processes it much faster than you can ever dream to. It’s why she’s so quick in battle. She’s a well oiled machine and you’re the one job she’s assigned to do- she knows you by heart after all these nights.
Her spear is pushed off her lap. “Why are you shaking?” she says, voice low and raspy, her hand cupping yours.
“Low blood sugar,” you lie. “I’ll grab a snack before I go to bed.”
She says nothing, but you watch her hesitate as she grabs the blunt and the lighter from the ground, you watch her hesitate again as she goes to light it. But she lights it, she sticks it in between her fingers and holds it out to you.
“C’mere,” she mutters, and you lean forward and let her place the blunt on your parted lips. You breathe in, only for a few seconds, and you could go for a lot longer.
“I wasn’t done,” you huff as she takes her own drag.
“My weed,” she shrugs. “I decide how much you get.”
“You’re a bitch.”
She laughs. She laughs and it makes your stomach twist in such a good way you can’t feel like this anymore, you can’t remember what she does to you, what she called you.
You reach out blindly for the blunt, biting your lip as you practically climb on top of her.
“Clarisse!” you yell, but she seems to find your desperation hilarious, holding the blunt out as far as she can. “I fucking hate you, oh my Gods.”
“Okay, okay, fine,” she says, pushing you off of her. You realize you’re laying on your stomach in between her legs, one hand planted to the ground around her leg, the other reaching out.
She leans back and takes another drag. You roll your eyes and move to attack her, but she’s too fast, sitting up and holding your hand down, her other hand grabbing your chin. She breathes out the smoke right into your lips that are parted in shock, smiling as you stare right into her amused eyes.
She leans back while you sit there stupidly on top of her, blowing out the smoke. “That- that’s- I hate you, did I mention that?”
“You did,” she muses. “But we both know you’re lying.”
You look at her, at her wide smile, at the look in her eyes. You want nothing more than to be her girl- her girl in the way that she’ll kiss your head, tell you about all the things you’ll never do, she’ll lay down with you in a bed of soft pillows. Her girl in the way the reason she’s soft in the moonlight isn’t the weed, it’s because of you. Her girl in the way you can run to her, the way you do now, but with the added connotation of love.
You grab the joint, and she lets you, watching intently as you breathe in and blow out the smoke. She has no right to be worried over you. Not when you’re the one making the choice to waste away your youth. And especially when you’re not her girl- not in the way you want to be.
—-
“I was beginning to think you wouldn’t come,” she hums.
You sit back against the rock. Normally, you would have been here 20 minutes ago.
You didn’t catch her after dinner, and you stayed firmly in your bed until it all got to be too much. You’re terrified of sleeping, of the nightmares that will come- but for some reason, the weed just puts you at such ease that you don’t have any nightmares.
You didn’t want to be near Clarisse tonight. Not after yesterday, not after the way she’s been making you feel, and the fact that you know she could never really like you. Why would she? You are the stupid weak girl who gets pushed over. You run from drakon’s and can’t even sleep because of nightmares.
Clarisse is fiercely protective of those she loves, but you’re too much work.
You wanted to go one night. One night without the weed, and prove to her and yourself that you don’t need it. You’re not that weak.
But you couldn’t.
You sit down, she looks at your tense shoulders and doesn’t tease you, just hands you the blunt. You mumble something of a thank you, looking up at the stars, shoulders relaxing after a few more breaths.
“I, uh, I tried to skip. Tonight, I mean. I tried not to come.” It’s embarrassing to admit this. You’re so scared of the nightmares that even if it’s a placebo effect, you come back to this clearing every night.
“But you couldn’t?” she asks.
“I couldn’t,” you affirm, staring at the ground.
“Well, you can’t just go cold turkey, dummy. You have to wean yourself off of it. Do you not remember, like, any of those nicotine patch ads?” she laughs. “You’ve got a good memory, you remember.”
“Shut up, meanie,” you mumble, raising the joint to your lips. She stops you.
“Ah-ah. Starts now. Make it a good one, ‘cause that’s your last, baby.”
“Fine,” you mumble, ignoring the butterflies in your stomach. You breathe in for a long time, tempted to go a little longer, but Clarisse reaches over and pinches your cheek. “Okay!” you yell, throwing the joint back to her.
She laughs and raises it to her own lips, taking in another long drag before putting it out.
You look at her, silent question in the air. She shrugs.
“Been meaning to slow down for a while, why not do it together?”
“Yeah,” you hum, looking back towards the stars. “Oh, hey, Ares is out tonight.” She looks over.
“Yeah,” she muses. “Fuckin’ Ares.”
“It’s still beautiful,” you say, stars in your eyes. “You have to think about it the way mortals do. They don’t know the Gods put them up there- they think it’s just some random spotting of stars, they think they made patterns out of it. Isn’t that beautiful? To make patterns and people out of stars? To look for humanity where there is none?”
“I never thought about it like that,” Clarisse says.
“Aren’t they beautiful?” you ask. You can feel her eyes on you.
“Yeah,” she affirms. “Beautiful.”
—-
The next two weeks goes by the same. You don’t catch Clarisse after dinner, but you come every night, you smoke a little less, she teases you and gets closer to you. She gets bolder and bolder and you get shyer and shyer.
You still feel like too much. If she just lets you prove this to her and to yourself, the maybe you can lean against the rock with her and flirt back.
—-
You meet Clarisse by the rock. She’s still standing, waiting for you. She takes the last of the blunt you’ve been using for the last few days and lights it, taking one small drag before she flips it around and holds it out to you.
“C’mon,” she guides. “Not too much, I’ll stop you.”
You feel kind of like a baby as Clarisse puts the joint on her lips, fingertips against your face to steady her hand. You breathe in for just a second, tempted for more, but she takes it away. You look up at her, fingers twisted together.
“Clarisse, I don’t know if this is a good idea.”
She leaves the blunt to blow out in the wind in the natural dip of the rock, your own little ashtray at the top. Of course, Clarisse will come and collect it the next morning- you don’t want to upset the nymphs and satyrs in the forest.
“It’s a good idea,” she affirms. “Don’t worry, okay?”
You’re scared. You remember being chased by the drakon even now, you remember it’s snarls, you remember it’s claws moving through the air. You remember your heart pumping in your ears, you remember the stones in your stomach that were supposed to be fear.
You feel like Kronos, but what you swallowed wouldn’t just sit idly inside of you- no, your fear would rip through your stomach and your skin and burst out of you in an explosion of blood, like some sick joke of a firework.
She grabs your wrists. Clarisse is soft, here, in the moonlight.
“Hey, it’s okay. I-I was thinking, I didn’t know if you were gonna be okay, but why don’t you sleep in my cabin?”
You shift on your feet. “Clar, no, I can’t ask you to do that. What if we get caught? And I-I- it’s embarrassing, what if your siblings see? What if they tell everyone?”
Clarisse rolls her eyes and tugs you closer from where you had subconsciously started to drift away.
“They already think we’re dating, anyways. Besides, Y/N, no one cares. Most of my siblings have secrets anyways,” she smiles.
“Wh- we’re dating? They think- why?”
Her face is deadpan. “‘Cause you’re my girl.”
You pull back. “Clarisse.”
“What?” she says, slightly incredulous. “You are. You’re about the only person I can tolerate at this camp. I hope you know that. I know I can be horrible, but really, I… care about you a lot.”
You look in her eyes. There’s no lies, no insincerity.
“I know, Clarisse. And I… I appreciate it so much. You’re, like, my only friend,” you smile.
She smiles back but it’s tight. “Friend, yeah.”
You put your arms around her neck and hug her. It’s the first time you’ve ever really hugged her, and her arms wrap tight around your waist. Her mouth presses against your hair. You let yourself be her girl in this moment.
Clarisse is your best friend. She cares about you. Of course she helps you with this. She’s your best friend. Of course you let her.
—-
You do follow Clarisse back to the Ares cabin, back to her bed- and she points to one of her siblings you can’t see in the dark, but there are two figures in the bed. She smiles and you stifle a laugh.
You know better than anyone else that big bad Ares kids are like a marshmallow on the inside. They act all tough, and they are pretty tough, but there’s a soft spot inside of them only unlocked by one person with the right key.
You notice her sibling has their arm around the other person. You wonder if Clarisse will wrap her arm around you like that too.
Clarisse climbs into her bed, opening the covers for you. The beds at Camp are twin sized, but you can fit two people on them if you’re close together. You don’t hesitate, not anymore, not when you have one chance to pretend you’re really hers.
You lay on your side, facing her, hands tucked up by your chest. Her eyes meet yours, she brushes her curls out of her face.
“Good?” she asks. You nod, breathing out.
“‘M fine,” you say.
She rubs your arm, cold from the dark night. “Just relax, okay? Just close your eyes, Y/N.”
You do, you close your eyes, but you’re so fucking terrified you can’t.
“Clarisse,” you breathe, a plead. For what, you don’t know. You want a million things from her in this moment. It’s not fair of you to ask her, you know this, but it doesn’t stop you from asking.
Your breath comes fast, your nails dig into your palms, but you keep your eyes screwed shut like sleep will just magically hit you like a train.
“It’s okay,” Clarisse says, firm. “Why are you so scared?” she whispers.
“They’re so real,” you whisper, your voice breaking.
“They’re not.”
She wraps her arms around you so tight you feel like she’s crushing you. But it keeps you in the moment. If you focus on the way her skin feels against yours, on the way her thumb brushes your shoulder blade, her fingertips scratching the back of your scalp.
If you focus, if you imagine all the thing you and her will never do, if you imagine being her girl, then you can fall asleep.
You dream of her lips pressing against your head, her voice in your ear, calling you her angel.
—-
You wake up, Clarisse still wrapped around you, and slowly detangle yourself. Drool pools at the corner of her lips, and you have to bite back a giggle as you slip out of the blankets and into the warm riding sun.
She looks just as pretty in the sunlight as she does in the moonlight. You feel like a lover slipping out of a bed of secrets. But you’re not. You’re just a friend slipping out of a bed of rumors.
She looks so peaceful, you can’t help but wonder if she always sleeps like this- or if having you next to her had the same effect on her sleep as it did to yours.
—-
There’s a loud knock at your cabin door.
There’s only you and a few of your siblings in here, putting the final touches on their outfits for the day, grabbing the last items they need. One of your younger siblings open the door, and you look around the pillars- maybe it’s a counselor doing some sort of inspection? You take a glance around your bunk- but it’s all clean.
Your eyes meet hers.
“Out,” she says, roughly. She looks at you so intently you almost wonder if she’s talking to you. But when you siblings stand there in shock, she looks away. “Well? I said get out, dummies.”
They exchange looks with you, but eventually shuffle out, not wanting to risk Clarisse and her wrath.
She shuts the door behind your last sibling.
“Being tough has it perks, huh?” she smiles, leaning against the door. Your shirt isn’t even pulled on properly, one of your bra straps is already falling down your shoulder from the act of putting your shirt on, and you’re staring at her with your mouth wide open.
She looks you up and down.
“C-Clarisse, what-?”
She walks over to you, frown etched onto her face.
“I woke up and you weren’t there.”
“Oh,” you say. “I… I thought you would have wanted me gone-”
“Don’t care. If you’re going to sleep with me then you need to wake me up and tell me you’re leaving.”
She rolls her eyes at your confusion. She sits on your bed and then gestures animatedly for you to sit down.
“Did you not sleep well?” she fusses. “What’s up with you this morning?”
“I slept great, Clarisse, it’s just- why are you here?”
“To tell you that you can’t leave,” she deadpans. “I mean, you spend all night shaking in my arms, terrified, and then I wake up and you’re not there? I almost killed someone. You’re lucky I decided to check here first, Y/N.”
She laughs. She laughs like it’s so funny.
“Why?” you ask.
“‘Cause you’re my girl,” she shrugs. “And-”
“Clarisse, what does that mean?”
You know what you want. And you’re not dumb, but you’re the only friend Clarisse really has- what did you have to compare it to? You’ve been thinking about it in your head, rolling it around like a diamond- each side reflects something you want from her. Her love, her protection, her touch, her time, her.
She plays with her fingers. “It means… I like touching you. I like protecting you. I like being near you. I like your voice and your face.”
She stares at you blankly, like she’s recounting a grocery list, waiting for an affirmative “yes, I heard you.” But all you can do is stare in shock, trying to make your brain catch up with your heart- Clarisse likes your face. Clarisse feels the same way you do. You can be her girl, and you’re not too much for her, you’re not just friends.
“Oh, fuck it,” she mumbles. She places her hand on your face and pecks your lips. “That’s what it means, okay? I’m, like, embarrassingly in love with you, if you haven’t noticed.”
Clarisse is so blunt and forward it makes your head spin.
She stares into your eyes, searching them for something other than shock and confusion.
“Okay,” she says. Shuffling back. You can tell she’s hurt and embarrassed, but her face reveals nothing other than faux confidence and indifference. “I’ll go, I guess-”
“Bitch,” you mumble, slamming your lips onto hers.
It feels so overwhelmingly right and fills you with such a calmness that weed could never compare to. If you were dependent on the joints, then one taste and you’re addicted to Clarisse. She kisses you back with just as much ferocity, throwing your arms around her neck, trying to swallow you whole with her mouth as she grabs your neck with one hand, your face with the other.
It’s months of tension and wanting, lips touching through the passing of a joint, all of it coming down to this moment that feels so bad, so sinful- surely the Gods must frown upon loving someone this much. You would never pray to any of them again if it meant Clarisse would keep kissing you like this.
When she finally pulls back, you’re both smiling wide, leaning into her palm, hands playing with the curls at the base of her neck. You feel like a giddy school girl. You feel like a lover discovering something wildly new and unknown, promising to keep it secret, sealing it with a kiss of pure fire.
“That was such a mean way to confess to someone,” you say. “Just bitchy. Brass and blunt- harsh, even.”
“Shut up,” she mumbles, pressing her face against yours.
“Yeah, it’s okay. I know you’re a big softie who drools in her sleep.” She pulls away and glares at you.
“I don’t fucking drool, Y/N. You’re seeing things.”
You fake frown, bringing her closer to you. “Such a horrible thing to say to your girlfriend.”
“My girlfriend?” she breathes, swollen lips parting like she’s aching to kiss you again.
“Your girlfriend,” you affirm, staring straight into her eyes.
You sunk more into becoming a demigod and all it got you was nightmares and a fear of sleeping. But the more you sunk into being her girl, the more you sunk into loving her and being loved.
You don’t know where Clarisse gets her softness from. Certainly not from her father. She didn’t learn to kiss your head from him. She didn’t learn how to hold you, how to call you hers, how to whisper in your ear from Ares.
You don’t know where Clarisse gets her softness from, but it’s good.
—-
SHOUTOUT TO clarisse “cause you’re my girl” la rue LOVE YOUR POSSESSIVE ASS!!!!!!!!
—-
clarisse when y/n smokes weed: oh so pretty……
clarisse when y/n can only fall asleep bc of her arms or her weed: my girl fr……..
clarisse when y/n: oh my wonderful perfect angel
—-
y/n: BITCH
clarisse: YOURE SO HOT FUCK
—-
where did clarisse get her weed from you may ask? me that’s where she got it from i ripped through the fabric of reality to give it to her to make this happen actually and you’re welcome
—-
taglist:
@lvrue @t-wylia @laughingcheese037 @kroumi @urdeadpoet @colezb @rey26 @harmzilla @elliewilliamsbae @amberfreemansburntface @kyuupidwrites @neverwaakeme-up @shark1008 @liballer @heyimadison @nvirskies @pnsteblnme @mar2ss @restellsss @ravisinghs-wife @marsconer @evangelinexo @randomhoex @luvrrish
@sincerely-silk
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i-cant-sing · 11 months
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My mind is just coming up with amazing ideas today. I guess that's what happens when u don't study for a week... (this is all happening my academic burnout sm)
I present to you- Yandere Dad Hawks x bird kid reader.
Look Dad Keigo was gonna be a doting father for any kid, biological or not, but there's just something about his bio kid who also HAS HIS QUIRK😭😭😭 Like he can't stop awing at the sight of his little baby bird having tiny tiny red wings like papa.
The ever loving, forever doting, always spoiling his baby, that's the kind of dad Keigo is. I mean, putting his own childhood trauma aside, he still wants you to have the best childhood ever. There are very few things he says no to (only coming second to Dad Dabi who only says no to things that will actively put you in danger. Want ice cream for breakfast? Okay. Want to go to 7/11 with grandpa Enji? Hell no.). Child reader wants an Endeavour hero figure? Of course, darling! Here, take one from daddy's collection 🥰🥰🥰 Dont wanna eat your peas? Sorry, doll. You're gonna have to finish your plate, even if you try to look adorably menacing by fluffing up your wings.
Oh and your wings😭 You know how Rei has a weird thing for your hair (and she definitely gives you a flea bath after you hang out with hawks)? Yeah that's how Keigo is with your wings- obsessed. He takes care of them, cleans them out and even has you sit for hours if that's how long it takes him to groom them. "Its no use swatting me, baby. I'm still not letting you move an inch until I'm done. So, just sit back and relax.🥰" keigo would say as he hands his phone to watch some shows.
I headcanon that Keigo's kid will be sassy and quick as him. The two can bicker for hours, and no ones really sure whether you're just that good at arguments or if Keigo just let's you win because he loves you so much.
I can also see Keigo and reader bonding over their mutual love for pro hero Endeavour (but in very different ways💀)
Dad Keigo adores spending time with you, especially now that you're put in a safehouse with only a handful people he let's you meet. A major part of his life is feeding you. Maybe it's the bird brain, maybe it's his childhood trauma, but Keigo has to cook meals for you and he has to watch you eat them. He's not sure, but it makes him be at peace knowing that you sleep with a tummy full and a warm bed.
I think as far as flying goes, Keigo tells you to only to do it under his supervision. You know how sometimes you forget how ti breathe and then making a concious effort to breathe makes it difficult to do so? That's what Keigo thinks happens. He thinks that if you fly alone, you might suddenly forget how flap your wings or maybe you get tired and then you're just crashing down to the ground. Unfortunately for his weak heart, you don't listen to him and fly as high as you can.
Would Keigo let you go to school? Initially, yes. But it only takes one incident, something even as harmless as a stupid prank call threatening his child (Dabi did the call), and that's enough for him to go hay wire and pull you out of school and move to a new safehouse, cut off from anyone and everyone. When he has to leave, he'd either drop you off at Enji's, OR have someone from the Hero Comminsion come and babysit you.
You can pout and cry and scream at him all you want, he's not changing his mind. You're his baby, his only light, only will to live, he can't risk your life.
His life would only become more complicated if either of you get a love interest. For you, the choices are: Katsuki, Tokoyami, Izuku. For him, the choices are: Dabi, your baby mama, Miruko.
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weirdmageddon · 11 months
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dave saw how jade reacted to the impaled crow and thought “oh shit shes sensitive to seeing death”
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and because he cares about her took care of these in advance from then on; he thought to himself “ok i will keep that in mind so she doesnt basically flip the fuck out”
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and then she saw a dead doomed dave, one he hadn’t intended on her being able to see
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and that was the one she messaged him about
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but the entire time dave was having that conversation with her he knew that in a little while that when hunting for frogs jack would appear and they’d battle and she’d wind up accidentally shooting him to death and have to kiss his corpse to wake him up on derse.
and he can’t tell her that because if he did, he Knows she would prevent it from happening, dragging them into a doomed timeline because its not supposed to go any other way
and he was probably thinking “oh my fucking god. poor jade” especially because seeing him dead was the reason she messaged him like that all freaked out
which is why he said that really cryptic but causality-free thing to her in advance
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right after that conversation with dave, jade created jadesprite in the hopes that she’d have becs powers and could go fight jack which quickly deteriorated but yeah this
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“anyone you loved” and follows that sentence up by refering to dave specifically.. WAHHHHHH
also i wanna analyze that:
i know love can mean different things, whether friendship or romantic but its clear that she thinks fondly of him at the very least if she felt the need to namedrop dave specifically
as for another person she loves and was killed by jack, there was her brother john (a platonic/friendship/familial love of course) but i dont think she saw jack kill john up-close because her dream self was dead at that point so she couldnt see it happen in the clouds from where she was on lofaf. jade was awake on lofaf when the incinisphere lit up with the quest bed ascension twinklies, and she didn’t even have the spectagoggles yet when john ascended so she couldnt see his corpse anyway. john’s corpse was on lowas and his dream self on skaia became god tier. so jade didn’t see john die directly.
that conversation she had with jadesprite also happened before jade saw dad egbert and mom lalonde killed by jack through her goggles. that means what she said was before rose was killed, because rose was killed after jade informed her of jack’s murder of her mom and dad egbert and she went grimdark. and i dont think jade harbors any affection towards dave’s bro who she saw dead through the goggles enough to consider him someone she loves…she was sad on dave’s behalf though
who else was there at that point in the story she “loved” and was killed by jack besides dave, then? just something i noticed on a reread
and that event was the key reason why dave stopped time traveling. he couldnt handle being burdened with acting casual about his impending death AND while knowing his death will be at jade’s own hands in front of her in person, and that she will have to kiss his corpse without explanation or clarification from dave’s part. he knows she’s sensitive to even seeing dead bodies just through some goggles, so the body of her best friend / someone she “loves” and first live person she meets in like a decade killed accidentally from her own gun would be so much worse for her
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verysanebsdfan · 3 months
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HIIII!!
So I'm not sure if you still write for killua or ciel or tokito😭 but if you do could you do some headcanoes of how they would be with a reader fem If possible that basically acts like a doll looks like a doll and basically is a doll but where also kinda creepy like we talk about disturbing things all with a smile on our face
Another one with all 3 is that reader is very VERY clingy like she loves to hug, cling,and talk to the 3 she's always around them and usually talks to them and is always seen with them !!
(sorry if it's to many)
HII!!
It is no problem whatsoever>_< TY SM FOR REQUESTING AS WELL! i hope it will be to your liking :3
Also i still do write for them but i dont think i will do for too long :(( im getting old...(for them)
tw: u say disturbing things, gore mentioned (sorta i think?), Muichiro one is angsty because i felt evil, spoilers for demon slayer manga ahead!!
our!Ciel Phantomhive, Tokito Muichiro, Killua Zoldyck (separate) x doll-like!reader
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Ciel Phantomhive:
One thing would be the engagement with Lizzy, so for the sake of this, lets say it was canceled for....reasons
Neither of you really remember how you exactly met and got close, or what got Ciel so captivated. It may be the way you dress, always in a pretty dress, which contrasts with your beautiful skin, or maybe the way you walk, talk...he is just down bad.
After you got closer, Ciel let you be more clingy, but when he needs space, you need to respect that, or he will have Sebastian take you away (carefully to not hurt you)
After some time, Ciel actually confesses, and you get engaged cuz....it is still 19th century so...
Now, you basically live there and the servants LOVE you. When Finny is doing his work in the garden, and you sit there and have a tea with Ciel, you look like a pretty painting >_< Thats what he says at least (everyone agrees tho)
When you got to know the...darker side of Ciels business, and all the stuff he does as the queens watchdog, well...you revealed your darker side too i guess
Whenever he tells you about all he did, you always say really disturbing things, and not only him, but also Sebastian loves that >_<
"Hmm *head tilt* I think you should have slowly removed his finger nails, toe nails, and then move onto the fingers...keep them alive tho....then peel off their skin and rub salt into it- ah but thats just an idea!! (*✧×✧*)"
(˘ŏ_ŏ) "what did you just say (name)?"
well!!
Once Lizzy came over for whatever reason she had, and dressed you up, telling you that you look like a doll, no! even better!
Now imagine Ciel coming from wherever he was, and seeing you, his beautiful finacé getting dressed up as a doll, while staring into the space.
However you quickly notice him and attempt to kill him- urm hug him and start talking about your day
Overally really good, has his moments but Sebastian always helps him get better so he doesnt hurt you, emotionally i mean. After all, with him by your side, nothing can happen...
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Tokito Muichiro:
Being a demon slayer is never easy, but when having someone you love by your side, it seems much easier!
When he met you on one of his missions, he thought you were a demon! There was no way a human can be this pretty, and creepy at the same time.
The way you look...empty, without soul, is really weird. The way you move, almost doll like. Thats it! You're a doll!...No that isnt right...no matter
You slay the demon, and then go eat together, because food is superior.
And then again. and again. again.
Until he developed feelings for you.
He didnt really tell you, but there were signs, you unfortunately never noticed them.
When you hug him, he blushes, and when you talk and yap about your day, he makes sure to keep every detail in mind, so he can write it up later.
He has a WHOLE NOTEBOOK dedicated to facts about you, so he doesnt forget.
His favourite part of his notebook are your quotes.
"Hey...Mui...after we kill Muzan, lets live a quiet life, together, okay?"
*to a demon* "if i didnt need to cut your head quickly, i would torture you, slowly, painfully...and then, id leave you exposed to the sun...so you can have a taste of what normal humans see. And then we will go to eat, right Mui?"
"Muii! This dango matches your eyes! LOOK LOOK!"
Down bad.
(i dont rlly remember this 100% cuz i read it some time ago, srry about that) When the last mission came, and you were fighting in the Infinity Castle, you didnt see himget hurt so bad, however, on command, you were directed to the chamber. You saw a horrific scene, what most concerned you however, was bleeding Muichiro. On the floor. Hurt.
You run up to him and take him in your arms, then start crying, and succesfully breaking your doll look.
"(Name)...please...I- i love you"
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Killua Zoldyck:
Okay sooo, you two met at the Hunter Exam, in the first phase lets say
Somehow, you caught his interest, not only you are absolutely gorgeous, but youre also drinking Tonpas juice?! No ordinary girl.
He would observe you during the first phase, seeing the elegant way you run, barely tired...and then, Gon would befriend you, and then Killua! so you would be friends >_< (thank you Gon ily)
You would stick by the main group as in any average killua x reader fanfictions >_<
In the third phase, when it was your turn to fight, it took a real turn.
First, Killua wanted to go fight the big, dangerous looking guy instead of you, but when you refused, he hoped you have some tricks up your sleeve.
"Oh That must be a joke, they sent a little girl against me!" the man would say "how about a death match then?"
uh oh-
"hm...i would love that, but if i were to kill you, i dont think i could stop myself from torturing you, but that would take time, and we've been here for some time...hmmm whatever....I accept!" Ready, set, go! *and he is dead*
Kill is down bad now. What was that?! there was no blood at al, no scream, nothing. Just a loud thud. were you also an assassin?
Who knows.
After that, he knows not to mess with you, and not worry...and also, have you seen how you looked?! Great heavens...
So after a lot of bonding (over choco-robots) you were close...and he liked you, especially after you said his mom is probably a robot becuse WHAT.
You talk shit about his family.
Idk probably confesses before you go to the castle wher Meruem was yk? And brushes it off, i mean, there are worse things happening...
After all the blood shed and pain, and suffering, you meet him and Alluka (my babyyy)
Alluka would 100% love you!! So everything is good...sort of...right? RIGHT? Wrong, his mom doesnt like you but who cares about herrr...
Gon is your biggest shipper :3
( ⓛ ω ⓛ *) - u have choco robots :3?
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6ix9inewiturmom · 4 months
Text
Show And Tell- Matthew Sturniolo
Summary: When matt takes your virginity and shows you how to make yourself feel better about not being so experienced in the sex world
Warnings: Smut, Inexperienced!sub!reader, Experienced!Dom!Matt, praising, cursing, use of Y/N, Oral (fem receiving), P in V, Unprotected sex (Safe sex is great sex, cause you don’t want that late text that I think I'm late text- Lil Wayne), TW! brief talk of emotionally absent parents!
A/N: i absolutely love writing sweet Matt, but what i love writing more is MATT THE MF MUNCHHHH!!
psa: DONT STEAL MY WORK!! THIS BELONGS TO ME MYSELF AND I!
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Ever since Middle school Nick, Matt, Chris, and I have been inevitable. Their mother, Mary Lou, has always taken me in as her own, considering I was the youngest out of 5 in my family, and my parents had me later in life, as soon as I learned how to care for myself, they quit raising me and only came through in times they ‘needed’ to be parents. Mary Lou was the woman I called my mother. whenever they went on a family vacation I always went with them. To the mall? I went. She basically had Quadruplets. When the triplets moved to LA, we were all over 18, and I was more than ready to leave my parent's house even though I had pretty much moved in with them for how much I stayed over, so I moved with them. I offered to get an apartment close by, but all of them collectively agreed and even argued with me about it, so now we all live in the same house.
Today was pretty much a normal day in the house, very calm, no one was filming, and we just did our own things. Matt and I had no plans, Chris went out shopping with some friends, and Nick had meetings and then dinner plans with Tara for a collab idea which left Matt and I at the house.
“Cant believe that you and my mother BOTH collectively agreed to let me walk out of the house looking like that” Matt said laughing showing me a memory that popped up on his moms Facebook page.
“To be fair you were dead set on wearing that entire outfit and your mom and I both knew we couldn't talk you out of that” I said laughing back and throwing my hands up in defense.
“That's when I dated Cassie too, how gross,” he said giving himself the Ick.
“She was the town whore, what'd you expect,” I say giggling at my comment.
“You know I never asked, whatever happened to Jackson? I just recalled he spread some rumor about him taking your virginity, and a bunch of other stuff, and you came to the house crying and Mom was comforting you and you never spoke about that again” he looks over at me as my head hung low looking at my hands.
Jackson was a guy I ‘dated’ junior year of high school, he took me on one date, it was very nice and he seemed amazing, though I should've listened to Nick when he told me Jackson was no good. After our date instead of taking me home he insisted on talking more and drove to the park in the middle of the city. His intentions were not pure. Jackson tried every which way to get me in the backseat, I rejected many many times that night and made some excuse on how I was on my period and that immediately grossed him out. Come to find out, as soon as we got back to school he spread a rumor around the entire school that he had taken my virginity and told the school I was into weird kinks. I knew I couldn't go to my mother about that because she would have taken me directly to the health clinic to ‘check if I was still pure’ so I went to Mary Lou, i and made sure to tell her to tell the boys not to bring it up to me and try their best to shut it down.
“I uh thought i told you about what happened?” i lied and nervously laughed.
“Nope,” he said popping the ‘p’ “I'm pretty sure I would have remembered something that important to where my own mother had to come to me, Nick, and Chris, and tell us not to talk to you about it, plus I mean it's been 4 years if you don't wanna talk about it I understand,” he said reassuring me.
I've always felt comfortable with all 3 of them, and always had a special relationship with all of them, and trust them with my life. I never went to them about this because I was embarrassed I was a virgin, I wasn't gonna tell them I didn't lose my virginity, considering both Matt and Chris came to me about sex advice I didn't want them to look at me any different for not being experienced enough so I lied and told them that Jackson did take my virginity but I wasn't into the weirder stuff Jackson accused me of.
“Fuck” I mutter under my breath. “Okay so, I just wanna say one thing before I tell you what actually happened between Jackson and me” I look back at him with nerve piercing through my body.
“Y/N, you know you can tell me anything” Matt adjusts himself to face me.
“So don't judge me,” I start taking a deep breath. “So Jackson made up that entire rumor,” I take my bottom lip between my teeth.
“I’m extremely confused” he scratched the back of his head laughing.
“God this is embarrassing” I place my head in my hands “fuck it, so he didn't take my virginity at all, and obviously the kink thing was a lie” I look up at him who still has a puzzled look on his face.
“So if Jackson didn't take your virginity then who did? Cause you basically swore off dating after him” he raises his eye brows in confusion.
“No one, Matt, I'm a uh Virgin” I drop my head down in embarrassment fiddling with my fingers.
“No fucking way, you gave both Chris and me AMAZING sex advice, stop fucking with me Y/N/N” he said laughing.
“Matt I'm being for real,” I shoot him an awkward smile “and please the sex advice ain't nothing, I know what I would like so I kinda made an assumption and by the looks of it, I'm guessing it worked” I nervously laughed.
“Holy shit,” his eyes go wide “why haven't you, you know?”
“It's hard for me to trust people, especially with something like that,” I shrugged my shoulders “When I hit puberty, my mother gave me a ‘save yourself till marriage’ talk instead of informing me of my body she scared me from sex, but I had gone to your mom one day when you three were hanging with Nate and she actually gave me that kinda talk and more or less told me to always make sure I felt safe and in the hands of someone I trust, and Jackson did neither of those things” I continue to fiddle with my fingers.
“You trust me right?” he says curiously
“Matt don't be stupid, yes I do” I lightly giggle. “Why is that even a question?”
“ah fuck it, never mind” he brushes it off.
“No, no, I told you something that no one knows so come on speak up,” I lightly push his arm.
“I was gonna say I could teach you a couple things about sex but i ain't too sure you'd be down for that anyway” he shrugged his shoulders turning his body back towards the TV.
“What if I was down?” I look at him through my lashes.
His head jerks in my direction, “actually?” his eyes light up.
“Matt do you know how embarrassing it is to be an almost 21-year-old who's never had sex,” a soft giggle escaped my lips.
“Have you ever like, touched yourself before?” he said slightly cringing at his words.
I was a little taken aback by his curiosity “I mean yeah, once or twice” I shrugged my shoulders.
“Did you like ever finish from that?” he shifts his body back in my direction. “I know this sounds a bit invasive but I promise if you want to do this I have a reason for asking these questions” he placed his hand on my knee.
“No… it just um” I swallow the lump in my throat “I just couldn't..”
“So you've never experienced anything sexual?” the curiosity in his voice makes me feel safer and know he's not judging me and is actually caring enough to ask and not just crawling on top of me and getting down to it.
“Nope,” I say softly
He slowly nods “Do you want to learn?” his voice goes soft.
“H-how?” I stutter out.
“Obviously if you feel comfortable enough with it, I could be the one to show you, If you catch my drift” he sends me a reassuring smile.
“Y-you would take my virginity?” I ask nervously.
“Only if you want me to” his voice trails off
“What about Nick and Chris? God that would be awkward if they walked in or something, oh my god I don't want them to think any-” he cuts me off
“Woah slow down, it's okay, they won't be back till like 9, and it's 4 now, we'll be okay kid” he laughed rubbing soft circles with his thumb over my knee. “Do you want to do this?”
I nod softly. “No this is important to you, I want your verbal consent that this is okay” he moves closer to me.
“Yes, please, I want this, all of this,” I say softly adjusting my body closer to his.
He smiles leaning closer to my face and softly pressing his lips against mine. My eyes fall shut and I turn into jello as I feel the way his hand that was once on my knee moves up toward my hip. A small smile creeps upon both of our lips. I softly pull away.
“Can we not do this on the couch?” I say laughing a little
“Absolutely,” he stands up almost immediately and picks me up bridal style walking into his room and kicking the door open as I giggle like a kid in a candy store.
He carefully sets me down on his blue silk sheets crawls on top of me and presses his lips onto mine once again making a soft groan travel between our lips.
“Can I take this off?” he says softly playing with the hem of my shirt.
“Yes” I bite my bottom lip
He smiles down at me and pulls my shirt off leaving me in my bra. He hooks his finger under my bra strap rubbing his finger up and down just looking down at me. “You're so beautiful. I don't ever tell you much” his comment makes a soft pink shade appear on my cheeks.
He leans down again kissing me and pointing his tongue out for permission to enter, my mouth opens slightly as his tongue explores my mouth, and this time his hands start to grab at my covered breast. “You can take it off, Matt” I giggle between kisses.
He gave me no response but his left hand held my lower back and his right unclasped my bra letting it fall right off my shoulders. He pulled away from kissing me and looked down at my breast in awe. “God you're Fucking beautiful” he mutters.
His mouth begins leaving kisses down from my jawline to my collarbone and stopping at my breast looking up at me through his lashes almost asking for permission without asking. I shoot him a smile and nod and his tongue licks softly across my nipple sending shivers down my spine. He smirks to himself attaching his mouth to one of my nipples and slightly tugging at my other. He sucks and nips at my nipples taking them between his teeth every now and again. My breathing gets heavier at the sensitivity and my head falls back as a soft whimper falls from my mouth.
He lifts his head up and places himself between my legs to unbuckle my shorts, shimmy them down my legs, and throws them with the pile of clothes next to the bed. He admires my choice of underwear today, smirking as they're unironically his favorite color, purple, with a tiny little bow right up top. He hooks his finger at the top of them sliding back and forth before sliding them down my legs leaving me bare beneath him.
“such a pretty fucking pussy” he groans out. he leans his head down and spits down onto my aching pussy. using his thumb he slowly moves up and down.
“Holy fuck” I gasp out.
Matt chuckles and moves his body down where his head is now between my legs. His thumb is still slowly going up and down he begins kissing down my thighs on both sides. “I want you” he places another kiss on my thigh “to tell me” Another kiss “What feels good to you alright?” he places a kiss right above my clit.
“O-okay” I say nervously
“And please don't be afraid to tell me to stop” he gives me a reassuring smile.
I nod sending him the same warm smile. He starts to place a soft kiss on my clit before flattening his tongue on my pussy and licking a stripe up and groaning once the taste of me hits his tongue.
“Oh, Matt” My breathing hitches and I throw my head back in pleasure.
His tongue begins to flick up at a faster pace making moans spill out of my mouth, his eyes are fixated on me and how my body reacts to his mouth pleasuring me.
“Fuck you're so fucking good at this” My fingers run through his hair forcing his head deeper into me.
He moans into me sending vibrations through my body as my hips jerk up and my eyes roll back. His lips attach to my clit sucking on it a little causing a squeal to fall from my mouth.
“Fuck i-i I think I'm gonna cum” I stutter out as an unfamiliar knot forms in the pit of my stomach
“Mhm” he mutters before lifting his head “Let it go sweet girl” he lowers his head again taking my clit between his teeth and flicking upwards on it.
“Oh my FUCK” I scream out when that knot snapped a wave of euphoria pierced my body and my orgasm dripped out of me making Matt move his body to watch it happen.
He wiped his mouth using his arm smiling “you okay baby?” he chuckled.
“Fuck” I breathe out “If that's why people are sex addicts I see why god damn that was amazing” I smiled up at him.
“I'm not even done yet” he smirks lifting his shirt over his head and throwing it across the room.
“Are you 100% positive you want this?” he asks as he stands up removing his belt.
“This is the first decision I've ever made that I'm 100% positive I won't regret,” I say as I watch him remove his pants and free his cock with his tip red and throbbing for attention.
He climbs back and moves me farther up on the bed. “Fuck there's no way that's gonna fit in me, that's fucking massive,” I say as my eyes stare at his cock.
“It'll fit baby” he chuckles “shit I don't have a condom,” he says rummaging through his bedside table.
“I'm on birth control, you don't need one” I smile up at him.
“Are you sure?” he smirks.
“Yes Matt,” I smile batting my lashes up at him.
“Okay then” he brings his hand up to his mouth and spits in it before gliding his now wet hand to coat his aching cock. “I gonna go slow, inch by inch and you tell me when to move, and tell me if it hurts too much I'll stop immediately,” he says aligning his cock with my entrance.
“Okay,” I breathe out.
As his tip slowly enters me I hiss. “Are you okay?” he says with a concerned look on his face.
“I'm okay just hurts” I reply biting my lower lip.
He slowly enters another couple of inches. Watching how my face nuzzled up at the new feeling. Then he slides in another few inches. After a couple of minutes, he's fully bottomed out. “Look at that, you're doing so fucking amazing,” he says adjusting himself closer to my face and brushing loose strands out of my face.
“Y-you can move,” I say nodding slowly.
He smiles before slowly thrusting out and moving towards my hips as the pain I once felt turns into pleasure in a matter of seconds.
“Oh, matt fuck faster please” I plead gripping his biceps for support.
“God you're so fucking tight” his pace speeds up as he lowers his body and begins kissing my neck and groaning into me.
“S-so fucking big” I moan out.
He rolls his hips towards mine and slams them into me. His grunts become harsher. “Fuck” he growled in my ear. “I love the way you feel wrapped around me” he moans in my ear which is almost a whimper.
“Matt” I scream out as his cock finally and repeatedly kisses my G-spot.
“Someone close eh?” he lifts up sadistically grinning at me.
I nod vigorously as my legs begin twitching and shaking around his waist and that knot forms in my stomach for the second time tonight.
“Cum all over my fucking dick baby, I know you can do it,” he said as his thrusts become sloppy.
With just his words that knot snapped in my stomach and formed a white ring around the base of his cock as my cum coats his cock. With a couple more thrusts he nuzzles his head in my neck and paints my walls a shade of white. He slowly pulls out careful not to hurt me.
“Fuck you're amazing” I breath out coming down from my euphoric state.
“Yeah? You did fucking amazing,” he smiles down at me laying next to me and pulling me into a cuddled skin-to-skin hug.
“Thank you matt” I mutter into his chest.
“No problem sweetheart” he kissed the top of my head. “You know I'd do anything for you” he softly whispers making me smile and nuzzle into him more.
“Do you want me to run you a nice bath? Or you wanna go get food? What do you wanna do, cause we got about 2 hours till Nick and Chris come home” he pulls away looking at me.
“We can shower and I can cook for us” I smile at him.
“Perfect” he smiles at me and picks me up bridal style again to carry me to the bathroom.
The way he cared for me, I knew I made the right decision. Losing my virginity to the man I knew I could trust.
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A/N pt 2: TY TO THE PERSON WHO REQUESTED THIS!! BECAUSE THIS WAS VERY FUN TO WRITE!! anyways i hope you guys are having an amazing evening, afternoon, morning, or night!! and i love you guys!! 🩷🩷
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nthspecialll · 4 months
Text
When it comes to Abigail Marston leaving John in 1907, a lot of people throw mean comments at her, say that she was unfair for doing so and a lot of other things, however I think that people fail to consider the time that this game is set. This is not our modern day woman, this is 1907, and it might sound like I am stating the obvious but by the hatred that she gets it I think it needs to be said again.
1907!
Do you know the rights that women had then? Or the lack of. Women were bound to their husbands, they weren't allowed to own close to anything and were only allowed to vote in about 4 different states, some women that is. Women were seen as a servant to her husband.
It was also hard for women to earn money, the average woman over 16 working in a factory (as the majority was) earned 5-6 or 6-7 dollars a week, a week! Eggs on average costed 29 cents by the doz, a pound of round steak cost 15 cents and half a gallon of milk costed 15 cents as well.
What about rent? New Austin, which Blackwater and the surrounding area is in, is based of Texas which in 1904 had a rent per room pr month of 28 dollars.
So why would Abigail ever go through all of that? Because of John, because of Jack. Abigail stuck around John for eight years, practically begging him to fix himself, to become better because she knew that she was pretty much dependant on him, because she needs his support to be able to live and she wants to give her boy a chance at a better life but she can't with John constantly picking fights and literally putting her and her son's lives at risk.
A lot of people make it seem like she just suddenly took that chocie, but she didn't, it was a choice that most likely took her years not just due to the financial burden but also the social burden that comes with being a single mom in a time where pre-material sex was seen as a death sin. She could very well be killed merely for being seen with Jack and without a husband.
And not just that, but it was probably also a hard choice because despite of everything she loves John, she really does, yes she screams at him for going out with Saide but who wouldn't. "She won't allow him freedom," no she is scared he is going to die, for us it is easy to say "he isn't going to" because he is a main character and we can just redo if we die taking on twenty skinner brothers or whatnot, but it isn't like that for her. I want you to imagine that your partner/friend/parent told you they were going to fight a gang of who knows how many, you are going to be scared no matter how skilled that friend is because you don't want to lose them. John himself admits it is dangerous work by saying "we always find a way to almost get killed, dont we?" Which Sadie agees to.
Abigail took the choice to leave, putting herself in a terrible situation, not for herself, but for her son. She gave up her one true love so that her son could have a chance at life, have a chance to be better than her and John. It was not easy and it is not something we should shame her for, if anything we should praise her for putting her son before herself.
I love John, I really do, but I think it shows just how shitty of a father he really was, and that Abigail leaving was exactly the push he needed to get himself together, it was the wake-up call he needed. He knew how shitty women had it, he would have to realize how terrible he must have been for her to prefer that over him.
Now am I saying Abigail did everything right? No, she did not. Although I understand her fustrations with him doing bounties she has to realize she is not in a place to be picky about jobs. She did ask John to take on a huge debt for the farm and John is right in one thing "it is legal work that I can handle," and while the farm is taking some time to get up and running it is the best form of income that they have access to.
Now to talk about her annoyance with John going after Micah, it is understandable as it could trigger a decline to their former life of crime or just lead to straight up death. It is unnecessary, revenge is unnecessary, meaning that John is risking their entire life for "nothing." He argues back with "I am doing it for Arthur" but again, yes Micah killed Arthur but killing Micah wont change that, killinh Micah will not bring Arthur back nor put him in a better situation, it is revenge, it is not nessesary, it doesn’t do any good.
If John had died she would not only have lost her husband but also the farm, as women could not own property. I am not that knowledgable on debt laws in 1907, but I would imagine that in some way or another the massive debt John got would end up with her or Jack either way, putting her in a terrible situation.
@heavenlymorals made a similar post back in may 11th where they also explore and explain Mary Linton and Abigail in 1899, it is really amazing and also puts some other light on it.
Sources:
Rent, page 369: https://fraser.stlouisfed.org/title/annual-report-commissioner-labor-6306/eighteenth-annual-report-commissioner-labor-608452?start_page=370
Food, page 233: https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=umn.31951000014585x&seq=233
Wages, page 15: https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=nnc1.cu56779232&seq=15
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